Brain Soda Podcast - Episode 50 - Stand Up and Conquer

Episode Date: February 3, 2024

On this special extended episode of the Brain Soda Podcast we're talking about one of the greatest comedians of all time, George Carlin! And we're also talking about another great person in history, a conquerer deserving the title, Alexander the Great!

to the strongest. Ah! Brain soda. It's the Brain Soda Podcast. I, as always, am your host Kyle, joined by my co-host and cohort, Brown. How's it going? Today, we're going to be talking about Alexander the Great, but first, we're going to talk about George Carlin on our spectacular Episode 50. Hell yes, man. It's been one year.

I cannot believe it. And it's kind of cool. It just so happened we landed on Episode 50, even with that month break. But yeah, thank you everybody that's been listening and I'm ready. This is what I've had on the back pocket for a while. It's gonna be a doozy, but it's gonna be great just like he was and George Carlin too. Absolutely and I think one of the things I need to kind of get out of the way here as well is thanking all of you and giving my love to you and appreciation for joining us. Whether you're doing it post this actually

being released or you're joining us day of release, we want to thank you for joining us. We appreciate you. We hope you continue to do so. And with that, I want to say really quick as you could probably see by the time for this episode, we're going to go along today and we're gonna flesh out, I think, two of our favorite figures of our field of topics of choice, right Brad? Oh for sure, and I mean like George Carlin's like one of my favorite comedians too,

so I'm just stoked for both. I will say that like although I have very little reverence or like depth of knowledge for Alexander the Great, if I had like a gun to my head, I would probably say he's one of my favorite historical figures like grand scheme and not as much like modern American, but still probably up there with one of mine. So to start here at episode 50, we are going to talk about a man a New Yorker through and through a born in New York State, County, and City We were born in New York State, County and City, conceived Bradley in August of 1936

at Curly's Motel in Rockaway Beach, George Carlin. Man, it's crazy to think like, yeah, he really was like born that long ago. Like he would have been almost, you know, it would be like 90 something down, right? It's crazy. He died the year we graduated high school. I guess we're gonna fully take the mask off at least for this moment and say in 2008 we lost

George Carlin at 71 years of age. You can do the math on that. I didn't really plan to and didn't for my research. But one of the things I wanted to say and I really do think it speaks to what you just said is in my research Brad I really kind of discovered that this guy is bred almost for this like not bred as in his parents were biologically like gearing him but like his existence was and what he made of life was and like even to the acerbic and speaking not even speaking screaming truth at power that you see later on in this guy's career, it all fits. So I went a little bit deeper than just what this guy's

chronological efforts were. And I decided to find out as much about this guy as I kind of could, even figuring out when his parents f***ed the maker. Yeah man, no, like when you said George Carlin, I was a little like, wow, I'm interested to see how you could make like a special episode out of this. But like, yeah, he's a giant comedian.

He really is. And like, that was when he was older too. So I can't wait. Oh, man. And dude, the story that we're about to go on right now. So really quick, when you think of George Carlin's parents, I kind of feel like you would think of like working class, blue collar Irish Americans in New York City. And like to a large extent you would be pretty close with that. Except

they weren't probably all that working class because Carlon was born to Patrick Carlon. And Patrick Carlon was the national advertising manager of the New York Sun. Unfortunately, he was an abusive drunk as well. While George was way too young to suffer through any of this and thankfully his mother had four brothers and her dad was a cop, so she didn't face any of this. Apparently, George's brother, who's like five to six years older, apparently did suffer through a lot of this. It was near nightly, and when George was very, very young, his mom took his brother and George and fled in the night through a fire escape and left his dad. And I guess they never even really met.

And he did sober later before passing, but yes, Patrick Carlin and George never had a relationship, never even really met as far as I was able to find. And growing up, he kind of became like the class clown and I feel like as someone who may empathize, if not directly correlate elements of this story with their own in life, like you. And was called the class clown, I think, in our senior school book. I think I was elected class clown. It may be very fitting, but the point is,

is I feel like, because it doesn't, it's not universal what I'm about to say, but I think it very much lends to truth that dealing with tragedy or a lack of self-esteem or depression or some sort of adverse mental or environmental issue lends you to be able to take light and brevity to yourself because you need it so desperately and to others because you understand that emotion and that line of thought and then to hear that Carlin's story was this which is a super fan that I kind of consider myself to be.

I never knew. When most comedians have that like dark background it really sucks. Right or tortured aspects of doubt. Yeah absolutely. It's like that you know sad, loud, bit or whatever. So by the age of 10 We really have the formative years kind of laid out. His mom was a worker as well But not necessarily like a working class like jumped into a foundry every day I believe she was in marketing as well, but you have his mom Mary She's working brother Patrick Jr. And George around the age of 10 really gets inspired by an actor by the name of Danny Currie. Obviously George had many inspirations overall, but this in his most formative of years perhaps is really what kind of lends to the class clown aspect that we talk of with George.

George would do impressions of various different celebrities and famed like roles at the time and things like that but beyond just that, George's different bits and routines and impressions and impersonations weren't just for famous people. They were for clergy and for other parents, teachers and anybody else in the neighborhood. Really? The comings and goings in his neighborhood and the higher ups within it in his day to day life were the people that he would like, not always necessarily land-bast,

but definitely his impersonations, impressions, and things like that. It didn't matter if you were famous. If you were somebody George could replicate, you were a target, you know what I mean? Like. That's crazy. And I never, like I don't know him for his impersonations

because I don't think he did that later on in life. He really does have a really good use of changing his act fluctuations or whatever in his voice exactly. Yes. Like the way he speaks and stuff for sure. Yeah. But he's not right. He's not like an impressionist where he's like,

all right, here's my fucking George Bush. He's not doing that. And I wouldn't think he'd be as good if he did. Yeah, not at all. But he does have very good auditory skills. And that's something that is very important and prevalent throughout his work consistently, right? Like as a through line.

But around the age of 13, he's graduating from eighth grade, right? And it a through line. But around the age of 13, he's graduating from eighth grade, right? And it's actually going to be the last grade that he graduates from. But he gets a gift, right? He talks to his mom and he was talking to some people in the neighborhood, and he had somebody who was able to get a clergyman's discount on a tape recorder. And this tape recorder, it's kind of like a life blood as well. Like he's already the class clown. He's already got the kind of like backstory that follows a lot of great comedians like you had said before, Brad.

But now it's kind of coming full circle because now he's doing skits and bits and his creativity is not just being reinforced by the approval that he gets from his peers and his superiors, right? His parents and other people like that, right? But now it's being able to be formed and shaped via this instrument. And I think that's such a beautiful thing. And that right there is why if your kids are like into something and they need, you know, something for that hobby, get them that. Encourage.

Encourage that because you never know they could be the next great, you know, whatever. Play drums in the garage. Stevie, I don't want to hear that. But play your heart out, Stevie. Yes. No, I agree with that for sure. I 125% agree with that. A lion's share of my research was done via word of mouth interviews with Carlin himself

dictating his past, right? So these are from his own mouth and like I don't believe any of it to be f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f***ing f*** to though is that what he says at this point the legal age to drop out was 16, which I know even for us in high school was still a state statue, right? But if you remember, he was 13 and he is quite rebellious around this time against his mother and I mean really the only true parent he had ever had, but it shows in the fact that like so he graduates at 13 and then he like plays hooky for a year and then he's actually able to fully drop out and then he does nothing for a year. He's engaged and then he joins the Air Force because that sounds like what a guy like this needs. Carlin had been kicked out of three high schools,

the Boy Scouts, Summer Camp, and the Alter Boys. By the time he had joined the Air Force, he's living in New York State still obviously. And what he says is that the draft at this point, although he would have been forced to join the draft. Realistically, he said he wouldn't have been drafted and sent anywhere until like the age of 2021. I believe that's because of the population size

of New York State, right? Yeah. His idea was, and this is kind of brilliant, I joined early, get it out of the way, won't be sent anywhere, and then I get to go off on a GI bill and start my road to being a comic through radio. I mean, yeah, that's that is what a lot of people did and do. And that

is exactly what he pretty much did because he joins up and he gets sent to Shreveport, Louisiana and he's in the Air Force and he's actually like like a member of an elite maintenance crew working on these airplanes on this Air Force base, right? And then he started doing little five minute newscasts on the weekends, on the radio. And then like, I don't know military structure, anything like that, but he was like out of field. So essentially he wasn't working directly

on furthering his maintenance assets asex, within the airport. He was still enlisted but not like actively doing stuff essentially. Yeah. Right. Essentially. Right. Because he's moonlighting and actively seeking to do things within radio. Again, he's playing things over the weekend and he's playing like Elvis and Chuck Berry and stuff like that. A year before his reenlistment were to come up or whatever, he essentially gets kicked out with an honorable discharge because they were just looking to loosen up numbers and people who weren't looking to reenlist weren't in their job field, things like that. They were the first people to make the cut. So he got honorably discharged essentially,

your general discharge with honor laid off, essentially. Yeah. Yeah, essentially. Right. But it worked out perfect because that's exactly what the f**k he wanted to happen. So with that, Karlin really kind of lays in and sinks into his career in Shreve's Port, Louisiana on the radio. And this is about 1950. Wow. Yeah. So he's a DJ and this is all kind of going according to plan to him. His intended goal was comedy like we said before,

but around this point, he's giving a record by a fellow DJ and it's called the interviews of our time. And while not done directly by Lenny Bruce, it largely featured Lenny Bruce. And I never really knew that Lenny predated George to this extent. Lenny is somebody who I plan on covering. He's a comedian. And is like highly influential to George's story.

And we're going to get there in a moment. Okay. So he's a comedian, right? I don't think I've listened to him too much. Yes. Yes. He is honestly like we were talking about in the Ice Cube episode for George Carlin to walk, and arguably it takes George a while to walk. It's kind of hard to think that, but believe me, but for George to walk, Lenny Bruce had

to crawl. And by crawl, I kind of mean get arrested. So Carlin, after this point, moves to Boston, and while there, he meets Jack Burns. He also roommates with the guy and Jack was a newscaster. Karlin had a short stint at this radio station. Apparently he took a van out and bought some grass in the van. The radio van? The radio van? I saw it there. Yeah, yeah, like a satellite there essentially for on locations. Yeah, but so he wasn't there very long, but while he was there, he meets Jack Burns and they really connect. They really vibe and he goes to Fort Worth and

you know, he enjoys his time during Fort Worth, but those two had developed such a rapport that Jack actually ends up coming out that way because he's going out west trying to be a star and they start to kind of really develop a little bit of a comedy routine and developing it there in Fort Worth. Okay, it's crazy to me that like he started in like he's a New Yorker and then he starts like his comedy career in the South. Like that's really kind of funny because you can tell he's kind of, he is a New Englander through and through you you know. I wouldn't necessarily like New Yorker. Oh no, you can tell he's totally a Northeastern boy. Absolutely. You can hear him in that voice.

So the two soon decided like we got a really good thing going here, bro. In nightclubs like moonlighting, you know what I mean? Like they're doing day job, broadcast radio. They do that for a while. They feel like they got it going good. Then they head out to LA, right? Okay, okay. They say to themselves,

like we're not doing that at Bellhop waiter, right? Which I think is great that like even like early, early 60s, late, late 50s, this life. Man, that was all. Like it's the stereotype, baby. We're going out, but we go out like that Anyway, well then they run out of money and they're like they start parking cars No, they're in the second most important radio market in the country. They go into Los Angeles They talk to one radio station. It's the number one station in town

They say no they go to this place called K-Day, and these motherf***ers get hired. Two months! They had been in Los Angeles for two months, and they get some of the best radio gigs in the country. Well, I mean, he is good, you know, like I mean, look at Carlin. Carlin describes a majority of his story to be luck. I got lucky everywhere I went. I do believe that played a part. Undoubtable. It is his skill with the English language and his mastery of auditory skill

that like, I don't wanna say Trump's that. Exactly. Luck is when preparation and opportunity meets. No, I agree. You have to, because like, you know, if you don't have the right, you know, skills or mindset or preparation and opportunity comes your way, you know.

Luck is lining up. Skill is you taking the shot. Exactly. Skill is you being able to use that, you know, opportunity, right? Absolutely, right, right. No, I don't disagree with that at all. But they go to this radio station named K-Day, right?

And they're hired, renamed the Wright Brothers, which I thought you would find to be amusing. And they are a daytime duo. Oddly enough also as a note, K-Day in Hollywood is the location that Karlin requested for his star on the Walk of Fame to be. Nice, that is cool. Yeah, cool little story.

But it's also there that like fate kind of intertwines for Carlin and Burns because the station at that time at least was housed in an office building and somebody who was passing through watching the guys kind of go through their morning routine and they thought they were like really, really good and that they should be their manager and they were a previous touring manager for someone someone I can't remember exactly who but they were able to be seen by people like Mort Saul and Lenny Bruce and because of their meeting with Lenny Bruce they were hitting clubs and they got signed to a talent agency named

GAC one of the biggest in the country at the time really they booked Jack Parsh tonight show by November of that year, right Brad? Okay, they live from Texas in my life. So what's that like eight months? Yeah, like nine months man Well, you know, he's dead good though This is why you're doing this on episode 50 because he is that good like seriously though Like this guy's just starting to hit TV. This guy will go on to have 14 HBO specials five Grammys win a Mark Twain award post-Tumusly, but only because he died before they gave it to him. Like, it is insane the amount of this guy's done.

And TV and film really are not his bag baby. Thank you, Austin Powers. With that being said though, Karlin and Burns go on as an act for like two years and arguably are like really important as an act for like two years and arguably are like really important as an act overall for comedy at that time. They separate. They separate to go their own ways.

Burns will go on to join Second City and he'll have another comedy troupe with James Avery. So Avery and Burns will go on to be another comedy troupe that Jack Burns will be a part of and he is like a staple of American comedy at this point Karlin's going out to be Lenny Bruce, but not be Lenny Bruce to be George Karlin and mind you this guy has an Anti-authoritarian streak he's got a loud dirty mouth But at this point you're not really getting that Karlin while he starts to brew his new stand-up routine as a one-man act, is

straight-leg. That's what I was gonna say. He's got a suit and tie on like every other comedian at this point. Yeah, at the beginning, yeah. They're all like that at this point generally, right? But you know what's really funny is actually, so like the night after they break up, and they break up amicably, they went on to be great friends apparently, but they break up amicably, they went on to be great friends apparently, but they break up. And the next night, this is in Chicago. The next night,

Karlin opens up at a club called Gate of Horn. Nine months later, he will be not only in the audience, but he will also be arrested with Lenny Bruce at the Gate of Horn. Wow. Yeah, I thought that was really interesting. Was that his first time being arrested?

I didn't take the time to jump into Lenny. We will talk about it. I believe this is Lenny Bruce's second arrest, because I think he got arrested in San Francisco. This arrest in Chicago. I believe that's it. Oh, Karlin didn't get arrested. Karlin did get arrested, but he didn't get arrested for vulgarity, like Lenny Bruce did. Okay. He was another comedian in the room. This is like nine months after he starts being solo. So he's another guy in the room. I don't even know if you perform that night, but like a lot of other comedians, he's in that. Paul watching everybody.

Yeah, that's how it still goes. Yeah. In comedy clubs. Yeah. Absolutely. And I want to say this right now. The things that Karlin will lay out as like a routine of like you go out you lay out material for X amount of time you do an album or a Special off that and then you recycle all of that into

That was last year's material. That was two albums ago's material now I'm here and I'm working towards next album's next specials material That is a formula that's still used to this day largely. And like, I don't know if Carlin invented it, but I almost think he perfected it. But we're going to move on from that. Exactly. No, like he he is what I think of. Well, I mean, some of his older stuff, like mid stuff, I can't can't say older stuff, you know, his mid range stuff is like classic committee and stuff.

Right. Around this time, Carlin moves with his wife to New York, and he starts working at this club called the Cafe A Go Go. Now, mind you, there's not comedy clubs and scenes at this time, right? Like in the 60s, a lot of it's beaten it like car houses and things like that. Yeah.

Like it'd be like places where you'd like jazz, died bars. And that's kind of exactly what he's competing against. He's competing against folk musicians, jazz singers, things like that of its time. So like what he says in the interview is like, it's super spotty work. I might be there over the weekend.

I might be opening for somebody over the weekend. I might be off for three months. I might be off for two weeks. It's super spotty, but it was there. And it was what was going to help me get on TV, because that's really what he's working at is now I'm a comedian. I'm a comedian who's going to be on television, right? But during this time at the cafe at gogo, he's working with

another he says unknown. He's had a record which had par release. But he's working rooms with Richard Pryor right now. And like, that mother f***ers unknown unknown. Really, Richard Pryor? Had Richard Pryor appeared on television at this point, maybe to headline a cafe in New York City, I would assume he has. But for Carlin to say they were both unknown, relatively unknown, relative. So Carlin through standard fare, though, even though that's kind

of what his comedy was, like we said, slick back, you know, smooth hair, suit and tie type, right? He was still kind of leading above the pack. And like I had said before, I feel like it's because he's got a five apeshist verbal skill, right? He's showing his language and auditory skills with both the focal and fixating points of his act. And they've frequented national television on the likes of Merv Griffin and Hollywood Palace and other variety shows that were the norm in the day. But eventually, skits and bits and this album takeoffs and put-ons weren't enough. Personally, Karlin's life against the grain seemed rather placid if only focused on how

much he went along to this point to get success. And like Karlin in the interviews I watch is making points that like he's singing songs and doing bits and doing all these different things just because that's what they're asking him to do on television and like realistically 15 years ago he would have thrown an M80 at one of these motherf**kers. Like he was the problem child in every interaction he had been beforehand.

And now he's like a good little choir boy going along to get what he's always worked for. And like I understand that whole sale. Yeah, I get it. I do. Yeah. But that's all about to change. Because at this point, he's kind of fed up with it. Carlin's 30 years old.

And at this point, he's entertaining people in suits at cafes and lounges in their 40s. And at home, those people in their 40s are warring against the hippies who are in their 20s at this point. It's around the era of the summer of love, the summer of 1976, right? This is the biggest push in the hippie and counterculture movement. And George is a comedian sitting there and entertaining these 40-year-olds in suits and ties every single night, probably for a large part of it in time wearing a suit and tie.

Feels like super conflicted as a person, as a human being, f***ing comedian. He identifies and empathize with the freaks and weirdos in their 20s who are that generation, not these people who he's been entertaining and working towards pleasing for most of his adult life. Yeah, no, I kind of get that too. Seriously. So George finishes out his obligations to Vegas, various different levels of television appearances, and over like two years you can actually see George Carlin transform as if he stepped into a cocoon. His beard grows out. His clothes go from suit and ties to-

He hippifies? Somewhat to an extent, yes, to like T-shirts and vests and things like that, right? Jeans and vests and things like that. And he has to walk up to his wife. So he's telling his wife, he's pretty much gonna have to say like, look, we're gonna have to lose like the best money.

Maybe I could possibly do in this. Definitely I've made two at this point. And she knew the conflicts that he was going through personally and professionally at this point. So he's telling her like, I'm gonna have to go to the colleges and the cafes and coffee houses and like go to the young people. And she goes all right up the press kit, which like stand by your man baby. Hell yeah. That's

awesome. What a woman. I love it. But at this time, Karlin's also kind of picked up a nasty habit called cocaine. While appearing on Carson, even the first ever episode of SNL, Karlin like can notably remember being completely blown out on cocaine. Wait, did you just say he appeared in the first episode of SNL? So yes, he appears on the first ever episode of SNL. Maybe we did cover it, but still, it's still good to point that out.

I'm pretty sure you did mention it, but he was blown out on cocaine. Probably half the staff was there, I bet. And that was one of the things he alluded to as well. But the thing is, is notably, you go there for a week and you're dealing with the cast and writers and they had to apparently like bang on his dressing room door to get him to come out and start the show. And when asked about that, he's like, Oh, I believe it. Like he said he was pretty much strung out the whole entire week.

And then in the interview I was watching, they're like, so what was your habit really like at its worst? And he replied with seven grams a day. Holy. Uh-huh. And, yeah, I know. And apparently by the time that he was fixing his finances, he had owed $3 million in back taxes.

Wow. It's like, how? Yeah. Yeah. And I really think that like one of the most beautiful moments during all this time, no matter how much coke he was on or off, which apparently at this point, Yeah, yeah. And I really think that like one of the most beautiful moments during all this time, no matter how much Coke he was on or off, which apparently at this point,

like he had started to recognize he had had a problem. And although later he has a stint in rehab for Vicodin wine, George largely beats this demon himself. That's not to say he was always victorious, but in the war on cocaine, personally, George Carlin was victorious, which I commend him for absolutely. Yeah, definitely. He appears on Ed Sullivan in like the second to last appearance

on Ed Sullivan, anybody could ever make because it gets canceled. And I feel like this is a moment that shines through and shows exactly who Carlin is as a performer overall, right? So he begins by talking about Muhammad Ali and the Joe Frazier fight and the political state around where Ali was in the 70s. But he's talking about industry in America eventually and he chimes in with this beautiful Oh, beautiful, for smoggy skies, insect-asided grain, For strip-mind mountains majesty, Plane America. America. Man shed his waste on thee and hinds the pines with billow board signs from sea to oily sea.

I brought a tear to my eye. It's beautiful. It is beautiful, honestly, because it shows, like this is 1971, this guy's on Ed Sullivan, willing to call out like, number one, the fact that we're willing to fuck on this, you know, legend of sport, but like to be political, ac cervix, yet hilarious and like hearted and so

well adjusted with your language is just my chefs kiss. Like that, man. And like, you're right. To say that at that time period. And it's just, wow. 50 years later, we're still dealing with the same shit. Yeah. period. It's just, wow, 50 years later, we're still dealing with the same shit. Yeah, yeah.

It almost sounds like exactly what the fuck we're dealing with every single day in this country. Wow, way to be forethinking, George. But like this adaptation of Connor culture by some people was viewed as not very legitimate and like literally cashing in on the hippie thing, air quotes. But this is Carlin at his truest form.

And to be honest, like the long haired hippie look is not, it doesn't stay very long. It's two of these 14 specials we're gonna get into. Well, it's like he quit doing what everybody wanted him to do and he was just himself. That is exactly what it was. And that's how he was for the rest of his life, you know? So.

Karlin at this point, before he breaks out into who you and I, as generations of people, is known for doing bits like a dumb disc jockey on a station called WonderfulWino101. Sal the hippy-dippy weather man and like that. Like he's just doing bits. He's just doing stupid little character bits and they're funny.

And in their time, they're great. And that's not to say he's not a great comedian at this time. He's not what he will end up being. Because I will say it right now. I know that in other lists he's baked by Richard Pryor, that's a really hard call that maybe I don't wanna make. It's the two of them.

Like if you could say like two of the top comedians, I would say it would be. I think Carlin's better. I just think Carlin's better, dude. I do too, for sure. I hate saying that, like, but Richard Pryor just doesn't have the length of work. And granted, it's probably because he made more money

in film and his legacy in film is way better off than Carlin's. Fair point. I still think Carlin's the better comedian. I might get smoke for that and I completely understand it. He literally did comedy till he died pretty much. So while he's battling a campaign within himself for sobriety, he's making some battles within the courtroom because in 72 right like this metamorphic happens in 71 He comes out with FM AM a kind of play on that change right AM was the old me FM is the new me And it's right out front. Here we go, right? that's his first Grammy winning album ever and

The four albums that he does around this time all go gold and are really successful. But like one of the things that's most landmark is that around this time, the second and third record, he's doing this bit that many people probably know as the seven dirty words. Can you say him? So you just go, tink, tink, tink, tink. Yeah, I was gonna say, you can't say them on television and I'm not going to leave that much editing for myself. But I think even more important than the bit, which I suggest everybody go watch on their

own time. A New York radio station was discussing topics of like lewd content and things like that, right? And they play this bit on New York airwaves at like 2pm and this watchdog for censorship is air quote in the car with his child. I don't think he was especially because he's a watchdog for censorship. I mean, I guess he could have been like driving home with his kid at from school or something. You have a direct conflict of interest.

If you're a censorship watchdog and you just happened to have the radio on at 2 p.m. with your kid in the car and they're talking about censorship and language on the radio, like you know enough to either turn that off or you're waiting for something bad to happen. This stupid over here is that makes a complaint with the FCC. They find Pacifica Corporation. Now the Pacifica Corporation fights that.

That initial buying comes in 1972. By 1978, the legal standing comes down from the highest court in the land. The Supreme Court makes a decision five to four and going forward, dude, like, it is important. Like it really is. Like I'm joking. I joke but like yeah no it is super important. It is super important. Then he did that because like that's our first amendment right is to swear like I will always

be you know I will say this all Carlin did is the big. Exactly one thing I will always say is it's not when you're like when you agree with something that your rights are given It's what stuff when you don't agree with like it's bad things usually because like I mean even though it sucks That's what the rights are for you know if someone were to disagree with what you said and they were to have the highest office in land And now you couldn't say it you You would definitely give a f*** about your free speech. Exactly. That's just plain simple left, right and center. Yeah, it's the whole, you know, they came for these people, but it wasn't.

Yeah, yeah. And then there was nobody left. Yeah. By the time that they make this decision, Carlin's already airing on HBO. Now, mind you, just like that decision kind of rendered, it was with caveats. It was introduced with a news person saying, hey, George Carlin's all over campuses, all over the country, but you might be offended by what you see here.

Please use discretion when you watch, even stopping this first special right before we get to the seven dirty words to make sure that you can't get all in your feefies and get all offended about what George Carlin is about to say. The point is they make a point to make sure you're able to use discretion if you want to view this content or not going forward. But like the cat's out of the bag baby he's on premium cable saying this now whether you like it or not you can turn it off if you want, but a lot of people are turning it on. And with that, honestly, due to as a comedic legacy,

that is an episode onto itself. But right now, Brad, we are gonna talk about those 14 specials, and we're gonna talk about the eras in which they occurred, because this is my suggestion for you guys today. All of these specials, you can find them on HBO Max. You can purchase them from a box set. We're gonna go over them right now.

On location at USC is exactly like it says. It's Georgia's first HBO special, Brad. It takes place at USC. And man, dude, it honestly holds weight. And it's follow up again. In 77 and 78, you have on location at USC and again, and they're very early, very observational, very linguistically powerful performances.

Have you ever seen them? I don't think so. I mean, I've probably seen clips of them. I've only seen a lot of his later stuff for sure, but yeah. It's definitely that hippie look for Carlin. He's got the long hair and stuff like that definitely I've seen lots of clips like I've obviously and they've seen the dirty words and all that but like yeah So then we go into 82 Carlin at Carnegie

It's interesting it features some animated shorts and stuff like that 84 Carlin on campus Which has an album that goes along with it and is like literally double in length. It's a really interesting one. I think it's really good. And by 86, you have like a mini movie that's in the front of playing with your head. And it's got a bit more bite. You get a bit more of that excerbic observational,

but it's got a punch, right? Like he's definitely getting a little heavier with his verbiage, the things that he's discussing as far as topic matters and things like that, but I think it's a little bit more experimental and things like that. The 90s and on is really what I watched, you know, unfortunately, but I know I like I've watched like bits and stuff, but like yeah I don't even know the names of the ones I watched honestly. That's what I was gonna say. Now we might be getting into some of the ones you know. And this, I kind of am with you.

I think this is the era that Carlin might be doing some of his best work, right? But if not, it's probably his most known stuff and we'll get into why in a moment. So in 88, one of my doing in Jersey, I love this one. I know it really well. He comes right off on the rip and like comes at Reagan

and then we go into 92, Jammin in New York. He's talking about like the Gulf War right at the rip and like comes at Reagan and then we go into 92 Jammin in New York. He's talking about like the Gulf War right at the rip of that one. Yeah, I've heard that one I've seen this one and Jammin in New York won a Grammy So that might be a lot of why you know it, right? It's like kind of part of a rear and a surgeons because it's like 92 Do you know what he's doing on television around this time in 92 and even before it in film. Wasn't he in some show? So around 91 he is on Thomas and Friends, Shining Time Station. Yes, yes. He's the narrator, right?

Yes, the conductor as well and the vignette. But he also was Rufus in Bill and Ted's. Yep. I think this is really why we start to know who this guy is, right? But 96, I feel like there's a distinct disconnect that comes like literally in the middle of the set because he calls it free floating aggression, but it is the bit. I think he almost does a couple iterations of this bit where he just lists off groups of people that he would want ex-violent things to happen to. And this where that a CERBIC and political nature and

stuff like that starts to just get into like straight verbal aggression like literally would be battery in some states yeah yeah and I love it like yeah I just love George Carlin mother f***ing people the older he gets the more he's just like everything*** everything. Listen, I fall into one of these lists of people and I don't even give a f***. I don't. I don't even know what he,

but like maybe I get beat to death with a tack hammer or something, but you know what? You tell me all about it, George. So like I said, back in town, I feel like literally halfway through that set, you get into the next era. And that is 99s, you're all diseased. O1s, complaints and grievouses,

which we're gonna kind of put an asterisk by. I've seen that one. Yeah, I think that's one of the best ones as well. It came out immediately after September 11th, November of O1. And I think this may be the best period for Karlin. It's near perfect blending of that anger, observation, and social and political commentary, right honestly and like yeah if we have to nitpick about what you should watch out of these 14 that we're listing off

here I would say these three back in town you're all diseased and complaints and grievances might be your best ones because these last two are f***ing rough man. When we talk about a cervix and when we talk about just not giving a fucking being like aggressive. His last two specials? Yeah. Yeah. Life's worth losing an O six.

It actually uses part of what we're going to talk about here at the very end. So Astra skin to that one as well. And then an O eight. It's bad for you. Like I said, it is recorded, I believe, four months before he died, that he died a heart failure by the way. It wins the Grammy and the Mark Twain Award, although apparently it was announced before he died that he was scheduled to win that award.

Okay. But in 2016, his most recent release came out. 2016 2016 it was recorded across two days in Las Vegas those days Brad our September 9th and 10th of 2001 and those recordings Result in an album called I want to make sure I get this right. Yeah, are you ready? I? Kind of like it when a lot of people die. Oh Yeah, that wasn't released. It is largely what would have been and I believe does get worked into to a certain extent complaints and grievances from 2001, right? And later on, what the large scale like big I love watching a lot of people die bit later on becomes the Uncle Dave bit that we see in

Life is worth losing honestly man when it comes to like the philosophy and comedy bullshit I feel like there's only a handful of people who earned that title like a David Cross or a George Carlin not Joe Rogan not exactly or a George Carlin, not Joe Rogan. Not exactly. There's not a great 100, but you know, there is those top couple, right? And like George Carlin is definitely one of them, for sure. Yeah, I think he's a one.

I think no matter who you are, I literally cannot say it enough. He's one of the greats, I would say, you know? I think if you got the b***h, you need to watch 06 and 08 specials because he will give you maybe the realest look at reality in America, right? Yeah, he does go pretty hard. We've been talking throughout this whole time about greats, you know? And there's a few greats, you know? There's a few leaders

that actually deserve the title, the great. And you can argue who is the greatest. The greatest of the greats. Well, and like, you know, I guess it depends because like, if you're talking about like a conqueror versus like, you know, some of that leads, like we're talking about like Alexander the Great. Obviously, you already said that. I mean, he, I think he was one of the greatest conquerors. I wouldn't say he's the greatest leader for sure. But really? Yeah. We'll get into why. For Cochran, though, man, he went from Greece all the way over to India. Like that's just insane.

I mean, look, I gotta say if they're gonna put Colin Farrell as the guy playing you in old 4... Yeah, no, that movie is bad. I love it. Let's just get that out of the way. Actually, okay, so if you want to hear some other media, well, yeah, I guess it's a podcast, right? And I kind of based some of my research off this podcast just by listening to it. Actually, I listened to it twice and it's like over a hundred hours. You know, it's hundreds of episodes. But it's Alexander the Great, the podcast, I think it's called Cameron, Riley and Ray Harris do it. And they also do a Life of Caesar. I might have talked about Life of Caesar before too.

But first, before we do that, the million dollar question. If you could have someone play George Carlin, now who would it be? Ooh, man, that, I think Nick Cage, honestly, right? Nick Cage, yeah, I guess. I was, I don't know why. I just thought of Ethan Hawke. I don't know why, but.

I think you could get it in looks and I think you could capture doing him really well. It probably just seems somebody you wanna know. That's the thing, like that's what they're doing with a lot of these new ones now. Like, I know the majors, but yeah. Or do we not know people like that because we're in our mid-30s?

Probably. You know who I actually think could really do it? And I think it's kind of a dark horse pick that nobody would pick is James McEvoy. I would cast James McAvoy. Okay. Yeah. I think that would be an interesting pick. If he could do it, if he could pull off the deliveries that Carlin could do, I yeah, I would go all the way to the bank with that. Definitely. Steve Buscemi I think would be a good George Carlin too. Yeah, so yes, Alexander. Born 356 BCE in Pella, Macedonia. He was the king of Macedonia from 336 to 323 BCE and the most bad commander

I feel to ever live. Now really quick, who's some competition just for those like me, the uneducated if you will? I would say like Genghis Khan, Julius Caesar, there's a couple Chinese ones yeah. Vlad the Impaler? Nah no no Napoleon for sure would be up there maybe through Alexander's campaign like he spread Hellenistic or Greek culture throughout Egypt the Middle East and even into India so like I mean he shaped the cultures and empires of these areas for centuries, even up to today. Like- Would you argue he's the most important pre-Restaurant civilization figure to Resturant civilization?

Ah, the argument could be made, for sure. Right. Probably. I always, I don't know, I'd say Jesus probably. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Before we talk about Alexander, though, we have to talk about his father, because really you can't, like you can't just start with Alexander

unless you know about- Much of like Christ. Exactly. But yes, King Philip II of Macedon. And Alexander was Alexander III, by the way, but yeah. It's Macedon. I don't know, I kept writing Macedon and like I saw Macedonia. I pronounced it

Macedon. It is. It's Macedonia actually. But Philip was born in 382 BC and he was able to stabilize and control not only his country but like Greece as a whole. And for people who don't know about the area like Macedonia was kind of like a back country of Greece. They were kind of Greek, you know, they were Hellenistic, right? But they weren't like Greek proper. And even then there was no Greece. You know, there was the all these city-states like Thebes and Athens and Sparta. Right. Corinth and you know, like, so like, yeah. After Philip's father's death, you know, the king, his two older brothers took the throne in succession. First Alexander II and then Perthicast the second and Philip was really young at this time And actually was sent away to be a hostage in Thebes

Which was like a powerful Greek city state at that time They're like yo we need some bargering bills right now Get your ass up there and get roped up buddy. You're a hostage. No, that's how like I mean a lot of things were like throughout much of history Man, you know like a weaker state. Yeah, that is true Yeah, but like here take my son, you know and so like I'm not gonna attack you take my son because you'll kill him if you know exactly yeah you know get a throne type shit. Okay like I said thieves was really strong at this time and same with Athens and Sparta was too but not as strong like during the set this is

after all the wars with the persons like a hundred years after that Athens and Sparta had a big war for like a long time. Won't get into that in the future. But Thebes at the time was very strong and they had this really strong group called the Sacred Band of Thebes who were actually a group of 150 male lovers that fought together. And the thought was that if they you know they fought together and f***ed together that they'd be you know stronger a little tighter right? Right. Bonding in the highest force. I mean it kind of did back up too like they were one of the strongest like you know stronger a little tighter right right bonding and the highest force I mean it kind of did back up to like they were one of the strongest like you

know part of an army yeah I mean think about it bro like your lover is your immediate exactly hand or whatever we're likely right yeah but they also had like special techniques and stuff too you know so like because they were like you know it was like a full-time army there wasn't very many full-time armies at that time. These guys were, they trained all the time and stuff, just to train all the time. So like, there's a tactical advantage beyond the emotional. Exactly. But while Philip was health hostage, he watched all this training and stuff, you know,

he know their tactics and the renewers and things like that. And when he came back to Macedonia, his brother, Pyrtikas, saw that he had this knowledge and this talent, right? And put him in command. And shortly after that, though, Pyrtikas died while fighting the Illyrians, which was a group from the West. Maybe you should have kept him with you, just saying. Well, he was actually like, you know, defending, I think, the homeland at the time. Okay, yeah.

Reasonable, okay. Because like at the time, these Paonians were coming in from the north too. So it was kind of like a pincer move. I think they were just taking advantage of the situation. Right, coming from two different angles. But Philip, he was able to quickly calm both the armies by paying him off and then also making a treaty with Athens

where they see the city of Amphipolis to them. And once the peace was made, Philip began building his army, right? He began training them. And this is the army really that would go on to conquer Persia and beyond, right? Like his training and his new techniques and styles are really what made Alexander the bad a** that he was. I mean, yes, he did have great commanding skills, but like he needed that army and specifically this new weapon that they used, which was a 15 foot long or around three meter long pipe that they used to stab people.

Like that's what their infantry used was a 15 foot long stabbing stick. Well, I mean, but let's also take a look at what tactical advantages are like prevalent at this time. The first army to lay shields side by side to have a totally like near and penetrable surface. It is simplicity but exploitation. What happens in these ancient battles? You know, you gotta think there's like thousands of people on two big groups, right? And then they line to one side or the other. Right. Exactly. They all start moving together.

And like the front few lines have to move or they're just going to get like trampled by their other, you know, their other troops behind them. So like they're getting pushed together no matter what. And then these guys have these 15 foot long spears. They're taking four rows out. Whereas the Greeks, let's say, are like one and a half times smaller than that, right? You know, they're like, what, like five feet or so? Yeah. And maybe a little more deadly,

but you have to get really close, right? So they can't even reach them. Like this is the whole thing of like that and like the good training of these soldiers is really what allowed Alexander plus his craziness. That is really the reason, like these big giant spikes. And like, see what 15 feet is, you know, like, or you know, three meters, right?

Go look at how long that is. Cause that is so long. Think of it holding a 15 foot long stick to hold and be able to like use to kill people. It's insane to think about, but that's what they had. Yeah. Yeah, it sounds super and wieldy, but yeah, I did it. They were really trained.

That's the thing, you know, they had super unwieldy, but yeah, I did it. They're really trained. That's the thing You know they had other weapons obviously right in 358 Philip counterattacked and Defeated the peonians and then the lyrians right after that. So like you use you know after they settled peace He's like nope. I'm different you guys Bada bing bada boom. Yep the next year he married Olympias Which was the mother of Alexander and she came from Epirus, a small city state in the northwest coast of Greece. And this secured his western front. So now you go after the main contenders, Greece. This is really what he was going after. He was just settling his borders. And he started by retaking Amphipolis, the one that he had ceded to Athens. And he needed to do

this so he had access to Thrace, which was like the gateway to Asia, to Turkey, you know, and the helispot. And that's like, if you know the area, you know, you need to get into Turkey. Turkey's like the crossing point land-wise into Asia from Europe, right? You know, they were in between Turkey and them at the time, you know, like, or it wasn't Turkey at the time,

but it was Asia Minor or Anatolia or whatever, and Asia Minor. So he took a Thracian city of Curnides, I think it's pronounced in 356, and it caused all the surrounding cities to start forming an alliance with Athens. And this war with Athens lasted like 10 years. And Athens was able to dominate the sea but not the field because the Macedonians had this crazy army. And Athenians never really were good with their army. You know, they're all navy people. And it was during this time though, there was another war going on in Greece called the Sacred War where these f**kians, every time I heard about the f**kians or the fokians, I always

think of f**k... I'm sorry. Those f**kians have invaded the land of Veldtvai because yeah, that's the sacred land, you know, that's where the Oracle and all that's at and in Greek culture, like so, and they like, you know, sacked the temple and all that of Apollo. So yeah, Philip ended up allied with thieves and the Thessalian League to defeat the Fokians. And this is the only time Philip ever faced defeat

was around this time, was in Thessaly in 353. He didn't have enough like reconnaissance and he got a little overconfident and like, you know, lost one of the Fokian armies but okay I thought you were gonna say like all of them were a master exactly no no no yeah but he went back next year kick their ass so yeah he's like Hogan he's like I'm getting that W back next year so like at this point like again if you know Greece this is like the northern part of Greece right and he comes up to the famous paths of Thermopylae,

where, you know, the Spartans did the, this is spot on, you know, the 300 and all that. And the Athenians were there this time blocking the way. And he didn't engage the Athenians, cause like they could tell, he was trying to like spread out and take over Greece. But he held back and he fortified his position. And at the time he was elected president

of the Salient League that I mentioned, and the Archon, I guess, you the time he was elected president of the salient league that I mentioned and the Archon I guess. You know, he was elected president of modern day term I guess. And it was unusual for someone like I said, he's not Macedonia, really wasn't Greece proper, right? They didn't consider Macedonians as Greek, you know. So that was unusual for him to be elected then. But he just continued to take over territories and brutally at times like slaughtering the majority of the city and selling the rest of them off to slavery and stuff, like slaughtering the men, selling the women and children off. And they didn't really do that in Greece at the time. Like yes they did. Sometimes, you know, like the foreign enemies and stuff. You know, like the Greeks were kind of like bickering,

you know, brothers and sisters, right? They just kind of like fought. They did kill each other, obviously. But like they they never really slaughtered entire cities. But not like egregious war crimes of the day, essentially, right? Now, let me ask you this very quickly. Were they egregious actors in certain ways that that's why they did it, or he would have done it? The Macedonians were kind of like just a brutal culture

in a way. Like they're very, like kind of like Vikings in a a way, you know, like the typical, like the macho, like, you know, the men have to go out and kill people. That's how you're honoring stuff like that. Like, you know, like spartan stereotypically is portrayed, right? Yes, exactly. Kind of like that. They were kind of like that way. And you know, really big on like the Macedonian bloodline and stuff, which we're getting to in just a second. Okay, okay. So with him taking over all these places and everything, the Athenians finally settled for peace,

or sued for peace in 346 BC. And peace didn't last very long. Over the next three years, Philip kept consolidating more power throughout Greece and the surrounding areas. So he's like, yeah, well, we'll be peaceful and I just kept on doing what he was doing essentially. We're good baby we're good.

Yeah no we haven't talked about Alexander yet you know this is about Alexander and a second we'll get into like this childhood and stuff but he actually got his first ace in battle around this time he was commanding an army in a battle against a thretian people called the matey. Well dead language is a, right? Like, yeah, but they like attacked, you know, while Philpals out in Uncamputane, kind of like at the beginning when Philip became king,

you know, they were attacking while Philpals away and he was able to drive them from Macedonia and then back into their land and out of their land and he colonized a city there named in Alexandropolis. The first city he named, he named a ton of cities after himself on his whole campaign, including, you know, the famous Alexandria. Yeah, I was gonna say,

Simpsons, that is one of the things is, I didn't actually, I think, take over, but maybe one, but there were several cities that had the prefix, you know what I mean, like, Alexa, I guess. Yeah, he did that all over. And over it, and I'm like. It's crazy, man guess. Yeah, he did that all over. And over it. And I'm like. It's crazy, man.

You gotta remember, this is 300 BCE. So this is before even the Romans were doing anything. No, it makes sense. This is like Greek, I guess this was Greek time, right? This is when the Greeks were 100 years after the time of the Greek democracy and Athenians. Right. All the famous philosophers and stuff, although

there is one, we'll talk about it in just a second, one Athenian that is kind of famous in this story is Demotsonis. He like really plays a big role in this whole story. And again, go listen to that podcast because it's like hundreds of episodes long or at least a hundred I think and man it's so detailed. Like I'm trying to do an hour what they did and Over a hundred hours. Yeah, but He formed an anti-massinonian league in Athens and pushed for war with Philip again, you know, cuz he's like you're still doing this Yeah, right. Oh guys. Yeah, eventually it worked and in 340 Athens with Claire Wargaard And thieves up to this point was still an unsteady ally with Macedonia, right? They like,

you know, that's kind of how they've always been. But they decided they couldn't let Philip take over Greece and they went with Athens, which were like their historic enemies, right? This is like Sparta and Athens essentially getting together. And in 339, Thebes and Athens with their allies engaged Macedonia in a battle at Chironia where Philip defeated them soundly. And this is like, this is the battle, you know, Philip's, I guess, career, whatever, his campaign. Right. He essentially takes over Greece, you know, and like, this is what sets up Alexander. If it wasn't for this, like him taking over Greece, right, Alexander probably wouldn't have gotten into Persia. Maybe he would have, but still, he wouldn't have gone so well because he would always had to worry about

Greece, you know, like all these different city-states coming after him. But the way he did this was by faking a controlled retreat with his cavalry. And that caused the Greek line to like, you know, falter, like kind of like, oh, chase after him, you know, that's usually how ancient battles or most battles throughout history until modern times worked, you know, like it was like that push, push, push back until one line falters and then they run away and they get killed. But so they, you know, running back and then they turn around really quickly and we kill them, right? They faked about essentially.

And that happens a lot with Calvary charges throughout history as well. It's the fake out. But Alexander led the left wing at this time. And I should mention what I was talking about earlier with the May D or whatever. He was 16 at the time. He's 18 here. So like he's, you know, he's a kid at this time. Leading these, these wings, right? He's 18, leading the left wing. And he fought the sacred band and destroyed them. He disbanded the group forevermore. Like it was gone after that.

After the battle, Athens sued for peace because they're like, well, we're just gonna get right. Yeah, that did not pan out well. Yeah. And Phillip formed the League of Corinth, which was like, you know, all of the Greek city states, except for Sparta. And Sparta was a thorn in Alexander's side for like the whole entire time he was skiing and everything.

But I'm not gonna be actually mentioned that because it's so minor that it's not worth it. They just know that there's a one thing. Exactly. Sparta is just like, oh, we, nope, you can't control us. No, but like they could really like they didn't actually, you know, go to battle with some the people he left back at Macedonia stuff. Okay.

Philip's eyes or actually I should I mention and I didn't read where it happened, but I should mention that Philip Hilli had one eye. One of these battles he lost his eyes. So he's like, he's like pirate all the time. Yeah. One of these battles, he lost his eye. So he's like pirate the whole time. Yeah, but his eye now turned to Persia. And he started preparing for a campaign to take back the Greek settlements there. Cause there was like, you know, again, Asia Minor,

we're talking Turkey and like the places below that. There was a lot of Greek settlements cause that's right across, you know, where Greece is. Right, right. And Greece was like, you know, they, that's what they did. They run around in settled places. That's kind of why their Greece is. Right, right. And Greece was like, you know, that's what they did. They ran around in settled places. That's kind of why their culture is so influential, including Alexander too.

But Macedonia, like I said, was big on their bloodlines and Philip knew that being married to Olympias was not in his best interest. Like, I mean, he was married actually to like eight different women, but like Olympias was like his main, you know, his main dig. It's my main squeeze. Yeah. But she was a main squeeze. Yeah but she was

a foreigner though and like Alexander was a foreigner technically he was half blood right? Like a lot of his generals and stuff were saying hey you can't have a half blood here and this actually led to a drunken fight between Alexander and his dad and it caused Olympias and Alexander to run back to her home state of Epirus. Also, he was also marrying another girl. It was during one of the celebrations to marry this Cleopatra woman that was a Macedonian, right? So like one of the generals was like, you know, oh, I'm so glad you're married a Macedonian. Now you'd be able to get a true heir to the throne, right? Like I said, he had like eight wives. So it wasn't like he was like, you know, like screw you, Olympias. Right. But in the same vein, though, it was kind of like that, though.

If he was going to survive, he was still young. Philip was at the time, youngish, right? He was 40 years, 45, whatever. Yeah. I don't know exactly the exact age, but like, right, right. He could have went to this Persian campaign. He just wanted to settle the Greek settlements, right? You know, like get those back and then chill. And then, you know, maybe 20 years later, maybe Alexander wouldn't be the heir. would be Cleopatra's kid. The thing was though, he said he knew he needed Alexander

to do this campaign in person. He's gonna just be like, you know, you're like my second of command. Listen, I know things aren't great with us at home right now, but... Yes, he begged him to come back and he reconciled with them but I'm just shaking around still. And to seal the whole, this weird whole family deal up, he had his daughter Cleopatra, which you know, is it that Cleopatra and is it related to that Cleopatra? But that Cleopatra to Mary Olympias' brother Alexander of Everest. But not our Alexander, right? Sorry, yes. They need a lot, they need more names in this culture, but they don't, unfortunately.

But at that wedding feast, a young Macedonian soldier named Pausanias, who was either like a scorn lover of Phillips or something like that, or just had a grudge against him, came up to him and stabbed him to death. So just like out of the blue. Okay.

Right where they're about to go in a Persia, boom. Phillips done. Pausanias tried to escape, he ran away and like he tripped over a vine and that was killed by Phillips guards, including two who would later become like close companions and generals of Alexander, Perthicass and Leonidas. Perthicass I think comes in the story a little bit later. Yeah, so rumors circulated at the time that it could have been Olympias' and Alexander's doing, but it probably it was doubtful. You know, there was not really evidence to that, you know, but it's I mean maybe, been Olympias and Alexander's doing, but it probably, it was doubtful. You know, there was not really evidence to that, you know? But it's, I mean, maybe, maybe Olympias,

because like Alexander at the time, you know, wasn't, but Olympias was a little score, like. But I mean, just again, in the day and age, this cut from the same cloth of like every other f***ing civilization at the time. Exactly. If you're not defeated via a warning state, you're defeated by a warring seat at the

Local council like exactly that's the thing and like there was some contenders to the throne Alexander probably was I mean maybe it was something about that Maybe one of the you know that because there was like a bunch of like nobles and stuff at that time You know it was kind of like a little bit like medieval Europe in a way You know like nobles though. No like there was like, you know statesmen was kind of like a little bit like medieval Europe in a way, you know, like nobles though. No, like there was like, you know, statements and stuff like that. Powered influence, I guess is my point. The bloodline, like, yes, they were the kings. That was the dynasty at that time,

right? Was the Philips dynasty, but like they weren't kings for like thousands of years before that, you know, like the bloodline changed and stuff like that. Yeah, he's the second in his lineage, right? Yeah, the second, exactly. That's what I'm saying. I don't know how long his lineage goes back. It goes back farther than his dad, right? Because there was his dad that has two brothers than him.

Right, yeah. But still, the bastard audience were kind of like, they had noblemen and stuff like that. And it could have been someone like that. I don't know. Nobody really knows. They don't know exactly what happened But before we get into what happens next, let's go back a little bit in time and go through his childhood a little bit

He was born in 356 and tons of legends surround his birth obviously You know like there's legends like we're happening like when he's living but mostly after you like Christ like prophecies Yes, sure. Yeah, like from Olympia's dreaming that she was struck by lightning the day before she was conceived. So like he was a son of Zeus. Or a temple of Artemis burning down on the day that he's born because Artemis was busy attending to his delivery and stuff like that, you know? I think there's one where his dad dreamt that like a lion was born out of Olympias' womb. Yeah. But yeah. I mean, obviously probably none of thisias' womb. Yeah.

I mean, obviously, probably none of this stuff happened, but maybe. What about the old kids from your eight other f***ing wands? Yeah. What'd you dream of? That's the thing. I think he was maybe one of the oldest, or he was the oldest. He must have been, because I think that's how most of the succession worked in that society. So he was the mate. But when he was 10, it was said that there was this beautiful, Thessalian horse that was brought to Phillip by a trader.

And I'm tame horse, right? Nobody can mount it. And Alexander though, noticed that the horse just didn't like to see his shadow. So he turned it away, so he couldn't see his shadow and then was able to mount him. I am the horse whisperer. Yeah.

And his dad at the time was like, my boy, you must find a kingdom big enough for your ambitions. Macedonia is too small for you. So like, you know, he could see, even when he was 10 years old, you know, like there was something in him. Like, you know, yeah.

Kids got it. And Alexander named that horse Busephalus. And that horse actually would ride, or like pretty much the entire way, all the way to India. No, a boy is dog, but it's a horse and a horse. Yeah, like he loved that horse. He named cities after it when it died.

Yeah. Yeah. So from 13 to 16, he was tutored by a Greek philosopher you may know named Aristotle. Okay. Okay. He actually was really formative to him and seemed because like Alexander all of his life was a very added reader of literature and history and everything. Like he like carried a copy of the Iliad with him everywhere he went, you know, except

to put it under his pillow at night. So is that why Diogenes was such an important find for him later? Exactly. Yep. That's exactly why. Yeah. Because like he was always, you know, he's really big on like philosophy and all that, you know.

So like at 20 years old now, you know, this is when Philip dies He quickly consolidated all of his power by killing like any claimant to the throne There's a cousin that might add a claim killed him There's a couple of Macedonian like princes of like, you know, noblemen killed them But what he like thought he was there evolved possibly with the assassination killed them killed them, well, he thought they were involved, possibly, with the assassination, killed them. And then there was also a general that was in the advance guard in Asia Minor,

that was really powerful, that he didn't really trust, so had him killed too. But his mom, though, his mom went over and had Cleopatra and the daughter that Cleopatra and Philip had killed, like a baby, probably, I'm assuming. Claimants, because they were Macedonian. Exactly, and Alexander was pissed about this,

but like I said, I don't really get into Olympias much, but like, man, she has a crazy story. Cause she like, she does all this crazy while he's alive. And then once he dies, you know. He really is not only consolidating his power, but he's lining up his competition and eradicating it before it becomes a problem. Like we said, if you're not dying out in the waste

or defending your home, you're dying at home via somebody who just wants the seat at the head of the table. Exactly. And that's like, I mean, really that's what, like what he did, you know? Cause like he needed to secure his home first. Right.

Because still, yes, Philip did have control of Greece at the time, but shaky control. And when you die, this happens throughout history. Like I've said a million times already, a powerful ruler dies. The empire is usually in crisis and like people that they control usually revolt. And so Alexander quickly needed to like get out and like show his power. Right. So he started an amphipolis just like Philip did and he had it east from there. So he suppressed any resistance from amphipolis over. He put down some thrations, a couple other minor states in the Balkans, and then

that secured his northern borders. Then while he was there though, he found out that thieves and Athens were revolt. a couple other minor states in the Balkans, and then that secured his northern borders. Then while he was there though, he found out that Thebes and Athens were revolted. So again, kind of like what just happened with his dad a few years back, he had to go down there. This time though, because of that battle of Chironia, they were really weak, especially Thebes. And when Alexander got there, he easily defeated them.

And this time, he ordered the city to be raised. And this once great city of Thebes and when Alexander got there he easily defeated him and this time he ordered the city to be raised and this once great city of Thebes If you know about like Greek history and stuff like these was actually like you know very it was like you know Athens almost Yeah, it's like the northern and other things on a risk board that like you know of because it's on a risk board and yeah And like social studies early history classes. Yes. I mean, there's a Thebes, Egypt too, like that. People often mix up, but yeah. Oh. But still like Thebes, it was very important and it was gone. Like he just burnt the city down.

I was gonna say, I thought it was Mediterranean, right? Yeah, and raising of the city regardless is just metal. It just destroyed it, yeah. Kind of like Carthage. He just burned it though, straight up, right? Like, pitch this mother. Yeah, they looted it and everything. This is the thing, like, the whole kind of reason,

like, he had to campaign to keep, like, supplying his people, in a way. Like, that was what the Macedonians kind of did. They were a raiding type people. Like, the people, you know, these Illyrians and, you know, the Paeonians, like, that was them too. But they're a backwater. They kind of got scraps from Greece too though, right? So they weren't terribly well funded growing in. Before, you know, before they got big.

So like that's how they supplied. So that's kind of like, was their way. Right. Okay. So also in literal pillaging, right? Yeah, for sure. So now, like he put down these, he destroyed thebes and they're like, okay, we're done. Ethan's like, we're cool. So he's like, okay. We're not we're done. Ethan's like we're cool So he's like, all right now it's time for Persia league of Corinth that you know

He is now the leader of League of Corinth So like realistically the invasion of Persia is only off track by like two months to why pretty much yeah And this is the thing man keep track of all the crazy He does that I'm gonna say because we're just getting started back We're just getting started but for real though that is such an accomplishment So all along this way the whole reason they're attacking Persia was because of a hundred years ago with you know The whole battle of thermopylaid all that and then they like Persia like burnt down Athens and like these is actually Allied with Persia, you know succumb to them and all that but yeah, like they you know

Like they really like f**ked up Greece about a hundred years ago. Oh, right. That was what Alexander, like the prerequisite, he said, you know what, hey, Greece. Avengers. Yeah, Avengers, you know, we didn't go Avengers. But really it was for glory and conquest, like I said.

I mean, it was both. But I mean, Victor goes the spoils, right? Like every war is for Victor and conquest to an extent. Exactly, it's a little bit of each. It's a little bit of A, a little bit of B. So he left, left Antipatter behind or Antipatter. I just think it's a funny name. I'm not gonna talk about him anymore, but yeah.

Little bit. But left him behind as regent while he went and campaigned and Antipatter was a formal general to Philip and like a really trusted statesman and all that. This older guy, but anyways. Philip had already sent around 10,000 soldiers to Asia Minor to begin his conquest. And while he was alive, it was going well over there, right? The Greek city states were like, you know, like, yeah, you know, we'll, we'll band with you and take back our land and all that from the Persians. A Greece. Yeah. Yeah. But once he died, they're like, oh, again, kind of like Greece. They stopped. And

then the persons were able to kind of give back control. But Alexander crossed the helix bot into Asia in 334 BC. With him, he brought a bunch of allies, like I said, from Greece. Totalling, it was around 48,100 soldiers, 6100 cavalry, and around 120 ships that was crewed with around 38,000 men. So like the ships really didn't make much. I mean they did, but there wasn't many sea battles actually any at all I think. Yeah. I was gonna say there's not much opportunity. Exactly. But they were like supply ships, you know, think of supply ships. Okay. Okay. But he first encountered the Persian forces at the Battle of Granicus and he defeated the general there in the general like the the satrap in the area there satrap is kind of like the I

Don't know like the governor. I guess you almost like a warlord though essentially like he has a territory He's a general and leader. Yeah of the area the king which we'll get into in a second was Darius that was who the king of the Persians at the time. The Achaemenid. Okay, that's a familiar name. I think, oh my God, there's Xerxes, and he was Darius the third. Darius the first, I think, was really special

in Persian history. We have to know. Oh, maybe, okay. But anyways, after he did that, he continued out west. So he came up through Turkey, right? If you're on a map, right? And he's traveling down west on the eastern shore of the Ionian Sea. So as he's going down, he's taking over cities and, you know, he encounters a few cities

though that do hold up some resistance. And one of them is Meledus, I think this is pronounced. And he had a besiegent for a minute and got through. And then went on to Halakarnassus, which is actually a pretty large city in that area. And that's where the Persian satrap at this time like ran back to. And his name was Arattobades. And there was also a mercenary captain from Rhodes named Memnon, which plays a big role

in the whole story again, but yeah, another time or maybe not another time. And these guys were eventually forced out by end to the sea though by Alexander. And he took control of the city. And he did leave control of the city though, to the previous sad trap. Or you know, like the person that was like in control of the city at the time, this old woman named Ada. And like she adopted Alexander as her son and stuff. And there's like other stories of like, you know, she was like heartbroken when he died and all that. And like would send him like little like goodies and stuff on his travels.

I think you know that. Well, don't forget me not so whatever. Yeah. Exactly. Yeah. I was like, it's a little mom, you know. A little dead mother. Yeah.

She literally adopted him as her son. So like, yeah. She, yeah. That's crazy. But so yeah, after that, he continued out the coast and denying the Persians and he's harbor, right? You know, they're out on sea now and he's like going you know port to port take it over these cities now let them go and get any Safe harbor and he was able to continue doing that all the way into the tourist mountains

And this is the first mountain range he was over into salicia and once he gets over that he falls ill But it was able like he had like chill for a couple months. I didn't read exactly how long but he got pretty sick But after that he was able to make his way into Syria and that actually was when he first encountered the king Various for the first time kind of like with carlin like even at this point Looking at the lifeline this guy has had is a story in and of itself And like we obviously kind of know, right? Because history. Yeah. It goes on to be so much more by the end that like, it's exciting to know and good to know that like, things are on the ups for Alexander here. Yeah. Like he's just going through right now. He's just kind

of kicking, taking names. Like that's all. Like he came through Asia minor, you know, and now like he's hopping over, right? He's going into the Levant, right? He's going to Syria, into the Levant, like we're Israel, modern day Israel and all that is that, right? So like I said though, this is his first battle with the king, right? And he was way outnumbered. And I did it right down the numbers.

It didn't in the last battle, but like he was outnumbered a lot. The ancient sources made it to be like, he was like, there's like a million soldiers versus, you know, his 40, 50,000, but it wasn't exactly that. But this was the battle of Issus. And it was an incredible gamble for him because of the outnumbered forces. And this is it, right?

He's got to either win or he's trapped. Cause like if he loses, you know, he really doesn't have any way back. He's put up against these mountains, right? He just went over this mountain range. Right, you gotta stand here, right? Yeah, exactly. I mean, yes, he can get out with his ships and stuff,

but like he's got to win, right? This is just the beginning. He needs to take over. He wants to beat Darius because that's the whole point of this campaign, right? Right, yeah. And with his superior army, they were able to hold the line. So like, they're outnumbered. But with this phalanx of these 15-foot spears, you know, they were able to hold back the Persian. So they are running Felix position. Yes, they're there. Yeah, they're still doing like that hop like, you know, Greek phalings type things. But they have the 15 footers now, right? Yes. But the big thing was Alexander's Calvary, really, because his plan was just, you know, I'm just going to go

straight for Darius. You know, I'm not even gonna. Right. Yeah. Yeah. He's just like, yeah, I'm just going to go straight for him. And that's what he did. So he kind of like, you know, he was able to have his people make it opening. I mean, played chicken, right? Like, when you're gonna sit in the hallway. And that's what happened, you know, he went after him and broke through and was able to charge directly at him. And that caused him to flee. And because, you know, the king fled, the rest of his armies, like, oh, and they all turned around and started fleeing. Right, yeah, we're not dying for nothing. So this huge army, you know,

he just went straight for the jugular and it worked. And I mean, he didn't get Darius at the time, but he did get his loot train. He got his wife, he got his daughters, his mother. Yeah. So like he got like, you know, a bunch of loot, essentially, and killed a bunch of his army and took a bunch of slaves and all that. So like, well, I mean, and at this point, man, this W is a three fold W.

Right. Exactly. The beginning of the end for the Persian Empire for real. And well, the recommended empire, if you want to be technical. Yeah, this is his lighting of the torch or Initial holding after being passed it right because his dad dies He's laid waste to any of supers that may even come to the throne Exactly, and this is where he's really shown it's himself You know before that it's all stuff his dad like it's been helped by his dad This is really solidly put him as this is Me doing it, you know, and that's my point is he's the one who's held to come back for this invasion

It doesn't the trains are still running on time. Yeah from all accountings, right like exactly and then he wins in like One massive stand. He doesn't win the whole war, but winning this battle kind of gives him leverage to win the war just by name credibility at this point, right? And it does because Darius actually offers of a peace treaty at the time. He's like, I'll give you all the lands you took over,

you know, like that you've went through. And I'll also, I'll give you 10,000 talents for my family back. And Alexander, he replied, well, I'm the king of Asia now, so it's my decision how territorial divisions are made. So really, you have no place in saying, you know, what land I do and don't get. So you pretty much sell the f*** off. He was nice to his family, though. Like actually, there is his mother. So he pretty much saw the f*** off. Brooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo island city of Tyre. And if you don't have a map open already, Kyle, please open a map really quick and search Tyre. T-Y-R-E. And please, you know, people are listening, do the same. So it

was an island and he had to lay siege to it. How do you lay siege to an island when you're a land army, right? Well, he was like, well, I'm just going to build a bridge to it and started having his army pile up rocks and just start building a bridge to this island and And it worked. He literally built a land bridge over to this island. Well, they got almost to the end until like, you know, they were like right up against it and it got deep at that area.

So he invented siege towers at that time. There was sort of siege towers. Not like he did, like siege towers, siege towers yet. Not like my siege towers. Exactly. So he invented siege towers to take over this city. That is crazy. And man, like this could be an episode of itself,

this siege and all that. It's insane, man. But if you look at a modern map, you will see that it's still a peninsula to this day. So he literally changed the structure of this area. That land bridge he made is still there. Like it's like it's land now, right? Yeah, it's insane to think. He's like, I'm just going to change the landscape of this area just quickly. It

was like within months too, you know? After that, obviously the city's around it quickly surrendered except for Gaza. And he had to do another siege there with Tyre and Gaza. He raised it again, pillaged it. Yeah, so I mean, that's bad. Like that's the thing, you know, when I say like he's a great commander, he is, but like, you know, you also gotta remember that this great commander means he's killed like so many, so many people,

like probably millions of people, like maybe hundreds of thousands for sure. Yeah, so after this, in 332 BC, he goes down into Egypt and they just kind of surrendered. Like he didn't have to fight it all there. And he was crowned king in Memphis. But during his time though, he went all the way deep into the desert in Libya to a place called Siwa.

And there was the same as temple there, this temple of Amman, which was also like the Greek thought Amman was like the Egyptian version of Zeus, essentially. And there, when he was greeted saying, oh, son of Amman, you know, welcome. So they said that he was the son of Zeus there. The priest did. And while like just him and the priest walked into this temple and he asked him two questions, he asked if all of his father's assassins had been put to justice and the priest told him yes. And then he also asked him if he would rule the world one day and the priest told him yes as well. So at least that's what Alexander said. The priests said but so you know I guess that puts the bad

any like conspiracies that he was the killer. Right. Well it's a card to him. Like that was probably just propaganda you know like he had to do that. But at this time he also founded Alexandria you know which became a crazy famous city at the capital of Egypt for centuries after that. And actually right after he died, Ptolemy, the Ptolemaic dynasty, where the Cleopatra from Roman times came from. So after this, he set off to finally finish off Darius, and he marched eastward up Assyria, which was another crazy empire at one time, which is like modern day northern Iraq. And he followed like along this trail where his supply lines could still be, you know, refreshed in everything, you know,

he followed along the river instead of crossing over it, which Darius thought he was gonna do. So all this time he was, you know, his troops were fresh, right? They took their time and everything. They were well supplied and rested and everything. So when they finally met up at Gagamela, which was like the final battle, right?

It was estimated that it was again, big outnumbered. It was 47,000 troops of his versus like low estimates of 50, probably not, but high estimates of 250,000 people. So like Darius had a good bit of people more than probably around like 120 though, you know, like modern estimates are important at that. But the ancients are like, there's a million again. Right, right. So at this time, Alexander commanded the right wing with his Calvary while the infantry commanded the left kind of just like last time. And he kind of had the same idea, but in a different way. So his plan this time was to move. So like, if you kind of picture this, you know, you got them on one side, the Calvary on both, you know, facing each other, infantry facing each other, and then Darius is in the center of his people,

Alexander to the right side of his people. So he starts going more to the right, which causes Darius's Calvary to go more to the right. And then by doing that, it kind of opens up the center where Darius is at. So when that happens, Alexander quickly spins back around into the center. Yeah, like rope-a-dope essentially, right? Yeah. Just pulling them one way to come in, smash, yeah. Darius does see this, you know, and sends out these scythed chariots

against Alexander and his infantry, like, or, you know, because he was next to his infantry at this time. And because they're really trained, they just kind of opened up their ranks, like made alleyways for the chariots to go through. And chariots are like really cumbersome, you know, they can't turn very easily.

Right, yeah, you're toppled. So like right at the last moment, yeah, like, you know, they did it like, you know, right when they were about to hit. It just blew off. They opened up really quickly. Yeah, so like the chariots were just went right through the lines

and then once they went through the lines, they like absorbed them through the back and just took them out. Alexander at the same time comes through, smashes into his royal guard and everything, destroys them. Again, Darius runs off and Alexander's infantry was actually getting surrounded by another part of Darius' cavalry.

He doesn't end up chasing after him because of infantry getting kind of surrounded, but it's okay because Darius will get his in a couple of seconds. But essentially this makes him the king of Persia, right? He's destroyed the army. It's done, right? Yeah, and like really, he didn't lose that many

of his people. He did lose a good bit of them, but not like that many, like a couple thousand, I think. But afterwards, he took his army, like, you know, he wanted to chase after. So he knew where Darius was heading. He was heading to his treasury. Right, he wanted to do it in Persepolis to get his money.

So Alexander split his army in two with the bulk of it heading along the road, like the Royal road and stuff, you know, a well-traveled road. It was longer, but it was easier to travel and easier to defend themselves, right? While Alexander himself, he took like a select group of people, like a couple hundred people, and went up the Zagros Mountains, this more dangerous route, more direct though too. And while he was there, there was a group of Persians on the other side guarding the gates, the Persian gates they were called, in the Persian Empire, ironically. And he couldn't, like he couldn't get through, you know, obviously.

There's like a mountain pass and he can't get through the mountain pass because it's being guarded. But he ends up finding a little shepherd's path, like you know, where they take sheep up through the mountains. Him and like even smaller group of people go up and around, kind of almost like the Battle of 300. Again, we'll talk about someday and does like a pincer move against the Persians, you know, he attacks one side and then the rest of his group of technically breaks from two sides.

Yep. And boom, makes it through. And like, cause like this, he almost like was at this time. Right. It spread pretty thin. It sounds like, right, yeah. Exactly, yeah. Like the bulk of his army's good but like him himself, you know, he almost died at this point, yeah. He makes it to Persepolis after this, which is kind of like the capital at the time of Persia. Well, it was a capital in the past, like Xerxes and everything was around,

like there was this palace of Xerxes there. And by the way, Alexander and most Macedonians were like crazy alcohol. They didn't dilute their wine like other Greeks did. They just drink it straight. So yeah, one drunk at night. Reportedly, Alexander was convinced to burn down the palace of Xerxes by a prostitute. And he's like, yeah, let's do that. Xerxes. And he burned it down. The next day, he kind of regretted it and did burn up most of the city and probably burn up a bunch of loot and everything like that. Bro, the next day I see it, he's just out there. Yeah, he's all hungover like, oh man, what did I do to him? Armor half-slopped off his s***. He's like, bro, last night smoke all around him. So Darius ran off, like I said, and planned on raising another army, but his generals had different ideas and they imprisoned him

and then eventually murdered him when Alexander started getting close and Alexander was sad to hear that Darius died and he gave him a burial at Persepolis. They gave him the right, you know, because he was still king, right? You know, you need the honors and everything. Oh, at least Alexander thought that way. Once somebody to do a tan, probably, right? Yeah, but he continued like, so now it wasn't really Darius, it was this general of Bessus that he had to take care of. And he ended up like, I think it was over like a year, year and a half where like he chased him across Central Asia all the way

through to Tajikistan and Afghanistan. This is what really led him to India, essentially was like, just the chase, right? Yeah, the Persian Empire at this time was huge. Like this whole campaign was really him taking over the Persian Empire, essentially, because the Persian Empire was so big. But now this guy's alluding you throughout all of it and you're just cutting through. Exactly, yeah.

At this time, though, this is when he started adopting some of the Persian ways, dressing like them and making people prostrate themselves at his feet and all that. A lot of his Macedonian generals did not like that, you know. And a couple assassination plots were revealed. One of his officers, Philotus, was executed for failing to alert him about one of the assassination plots. And in turn, he had to kill Philotus' dad because he's like, well, man, I just killed the son. He's probably going to have revolt or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. It was one of his top generals, like control this treasury, like way back in Western Persia, had him executed.

But you know what? The pressure just from this. Exactly. So like, like this is the thing, like, you know, he's doing all this. You gotta remember, like, this is years into this campaign now, right? And like, he's just like,

won all these battles. And now like, he's gotta do this stupid like, guerrilla war with this guy, this messes guy. And like, it's just, it won all these battles. And now like he's gotta do this stupid like guerrilla war with this guy, this messes guy. And like it's just, it's waning on him. And there's another drunken night when all of his generals and close friends were drinking with him.

One of them named Cleetus the Black called out Alexander. He was saying that he made some bad judgmental mistakes during a few of the fights. And that he'd forgotten his Macedonian ways and was starting to, you know, become corrupted by the Persians and stuff. So Alexander drew a sword and like just stabbed him, like just cut the f*** out of him. Just stabbed him to death in a drunken rage. Um, and of course, felt bad about it the next day again, but...

Uh, you know, hey, look, we all make mistakes when we've had a couple too many to drink. Yep, yep, but it happens. I feel like it lends to what's going on at this time. Yeah. Culturally in Greece. It's a constant in-fighting. Yes and no. Like, because I think the army's kind of getting a little worn out. You gotta remember, this is the same

army. This is the same 50,000 people. Right. Yeah. A lot of the times, the army's like refreshed in and out, right? You know, like, you don't do this crazy campaign across half the world, right? Right. Yeah like you don't do this crazy campaign across half the world. Right? Yeah. Right. Yeah.

So like they're getting worn, you know, and like there was another assassination plot with this official historian, Callistanese, I guess, and he tortured him and killed him, put him to death. Ooh. He just, yeah. But like, eventually he finally put all this stuff down and was able to take full control of Persia and cement his relations. There was still a little bit, which we'll get into because he's like, all right, at

this time, he's all the way over in Pakistan. He's right on that border of modern India. So he starts traveling down. He's like, all right, we're going to travel down and bring all these people, all these sad traps together and make them bow to me and say, you know, you're our ruler and all that. The main leader, Porus, would have do that. There was a battle, battle of high deptcies where I was there to defeat them. But there was also these hill tribes too.

And he went up like him personally, you know, there's small group again, went up into these hill tribes areas and try to like, man, this is the thing. It's like, do you really need to put these hill tribes, man? You're like, you know, 2000 miles away from your house, you know, your homeland, taking off this giant empire and you're missing these stupid hilltribes. Like, and like because of that, he suffered two serious injuries in his shoulder and his ankle. And like, this is when he starts getting injured, right? And I don't know, I think he just like slowly wears out himself too. Well, right, everybody's getting wore out from this long war.

Exactly. Yeah, correct, yeah. And Busephalus even dies at this time, probably of just old age. Like that's that really a mark. Yeah, exactly, exactly. He names a couple cities on the area after him. And I think like for a while they were called that, like Busephalus. I'm like that. Right. but he fought one last battle against his

poorest guy and I'm just rendering and actually like led him like stay in control and he was like all right cool purge is good right all right team we're good now you guys ready to cross over into the Indian subcontinent over the Ganges they heard started hearing about like the talks of the Ganges and if you don't know the Ganges like this gigantic river like it's like the Mississippi of India. Yeah. His army was like, we're done. No, we're now no more. No more. And he tried to persuade him to come on guys, you know, we can do this. We're gonna, you know, it'd be the most glorious thing ever. You know, they're like, no, we're done. We're done. And finally he came. He's like, all right,

we'll go down the Indus River to the Indian Ocean and then we'll travel back and he conquered some people on the way kept fighting you know like he did because like he's going through people's territories at this time right you can't just breathe this giant army like you don't go through with the giant army without fighting right actually there was this one this one place where he had a siege his place and if I'm not remembering like if I don't remember correctly, he jumped over himself. He was the first one over the walls and like got surrounded by a bunch of soldiers and got shot. I know he got shot with an arrow and it penetrated his armor and pierced his lung and he almost died there until like, you know, a couple of his other, you know, close companions jumped out and like back.

Like this is like, it was probably in the Alexander movie. I don't remember. Like I said, I don't remember either. Yeah. Like this is like, you know, this is movie type. Like, yeah, he almost died and then he made it through, right? He found him back and beat him all and all that. And finally made it to the Persian Gulf. And there he split up his army again. He sent some out onto the sea to explore the coast. He sent some along an easy route. And then for whatever freaking reason, do not ask me why. He's like, all right, we're gonna take some people

and we're gonna go through this desert, the Gadrosian Desert. We're just gonna walk through this and explore this desert. Well, they had no idea what was there, right? Yes, but like he knew there was a desert. He knew it was a desert. Right.

OK, yeah, I did it. Why do you need to go through a desert? Like, you know. Oh, like find some cool sh** there. Exactly. But he didn't make it back. He made it back to Sousa, which is like the closest big city, Persian city after the desert and all that.

And 324 BCE. But tons of his men died along the way. And he almost died. There was a story, I think at this time, there might have been another time we went through another desert where there was a little bit of water left and they tried to give it to him and then he poured it out. It was like, if you guys can't drink, I can't drink, which I don't know why you poured the water out, but yeah. But anyways, around this time, someone that I hadn't mentioned, Hephaestian, which was like his best friend, and probably his lover, more likely, was again, I haven't

mentioned anybody, he did get married at one time, I did father a kid. Yeah, his best friend, Hephaestian died, either of illness or poisoning, but a devastating like this probably like just broke his heart. Right. This is like, pretty much like, yeah, it's probably his lover right. I mean even if not someone this allied to you when you're able to do all these different things probably means a lot more than you would expect. Exactly but he makes his way back to Babylon and Babylon was like another big city. I think it was Capitol Persian at one point but that's when he concluded his Indian campaign,

what he called, and began the campaign for the Arabian Peninsula, which is actually where Islam and everything came out of, which modern day Saudi Arabia and all that. That was his plan next, was like, well, take a little rest here, then we're going to Arabian Peninsula. We're getting a big banquet there. And shortly after that banquet though, he started feeling ill. And I'm not saying it's connected to that, but I'm just saying like, you know, shortly after that time, he started feeling ill.

And like eventually it was obvious he was dying on his deathbed. They asked who the designated successor would be. And he told them to the strongest, which is Arkold Obe. That's one thing. Like, yes, he's a great commander. Again, but like I said, he's not a great leader because one thing about being a great leader is you set up people to succeed you or, you know, be your backup. He's just like, yeah, you guys figure it out, you know, whoever's the strongest. Well, I mean, to be fair, he's probably looking at the men that he's led, especially when you think of the very beginning of the men that he's led, especially when

you think of the very beginning of the story. He did give, yes, he did give his reign to Spermian. I do think it is one of those full circle moments that often is said and just, but especially when we think about this being kind of the end of the story at the beginning. Being the hostage and learning all of these tactics and things like that is arguably what led to the success of Alexander the Great. And I think in his mind and on his deathbed, granted I'm just me here now, right?

But yeah, to the strongest because if Alexander were put in that position, he would have angled the way to be there and been there. And if you're gonna succeed me, right, you're gonna have to be the strongest and the smartest. Because he was the strongest. And I guess nobody really stood out of that crowd because... There was, there was a few.

And like someday am I gonna get into it? Like the successor kingdoms? Cause like literally like a bunch of kingdoms and empires rose from this. But not one. This is Sonnitz, if not mistaken, is the big one in Persia and then the Ptolemaic dynasty in Egypt, which again carried on until Rome, like 300 years later. I was going to say that almost has to be it because of its influence in Rome, right?

Exactly. Yeah. Like I said, influence like crazy in all Western culture. But on June 10th or 11th, 323 BC, Alexander the Great died at the age of 32. It was either from an illness like malaria or alcoholism even or maybe just his wreck body finally giving up, you know? Or poisoning. Possibly, probably not poisoning, but possibly poisoning. But yeah, man. Like I said, his legacy lives on to this day. His influence on the Greek world and the Persian world,

there's still some bloodlines in the mountains, up in Tzajikistan or whatever, that you can trace back to a Greek, like they have the Greek blood in them. Yeah, it's crazy. Thank you for sitting through this. I've been saving this one. Episode 50, George Carlin too.

To close this out, I guess I wanna finish with one thing. A million dollar question. If you were to make your own film, Brad, about Alexander the Great, who would you cast to play him? I think I would go with Michael Fassbender, bro. You know who would actually do good probably is um, Benedict Carbatch. Well with that, we'd love to thank you for joining us here. Give us a rate and a review on your podcast platform of choice. You can find us on our social medias, Facebook, Instagram, TikTok,

and as always on Patreon where you can get early access by up to one whole week Thank you all so very very much for your support and Continued support and for anybody listening to this after the fact. Thank you for finding us We hope you're enjoying any and all that you're listening to from this point going forward and going forward to from this point going forward and going forward. We hope to continue entertaining you for this whole next year and many more to come. For Brad, I am Kyle and we will see you again here soon. See ya. Blamity black Brain soda