BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - BudPod 195 - Filler Bonuspod! "RoboJuice"
Episode Date: January 4, 2023Wang's microphone was stolen by an orangutan and podcasts are illegal in Malaysia so here we are, a bonus ep from week 193! See you next week! Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.c...om/privacy for more information.
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It's Budpod195, a holiday filler. Happy New Year, Krapi Pusme, everyone.
Phil is in Malaysia and podcasts are illegal in Malaysia, so he can't do recording.
The various technological issues, time differences and so on make it very difficult.
So I'm afraid
we will be feeding you
a bonus pod from the Patreon.
So we've taken
a fine filet mignon
steak or a stuffed
portobello mushroom
from the VIP area
under a little platter. We lifted the
platter and we've kind of stuffed it into our
um jacket pockets full of like fluff and things and we've smuggled it out of the vip area the
patreon to you guys to everyone else outside of the nightclub in the queue in the cold and the snow
with your breath fogging in front of you and we handed this fancy steak slash portobello mushroom stuffed to the queue
of people who aren't in the nightclub eg you guys and you're tearing it apart
tearing it into shred like when zombies get catch a guy um that's how i'm envisaging it anyway, with that same level of hunger and lust.
Happy New Year, crappy poosmere.
Send us, tweet us some resolutions maybe.
We'll get round to them by next New Year's.
The backlog for correspondence is huge.
We will tackle that as best we can.
Actually, I'll make a note.
I'll go through and cull the herd, maybe.
I've had a good new...
I've been sitting making resolution lists and things all day.
I'm gonna...
I promise and swear in this episode,
I swear to you guys that there will be more sketches.
We let it fall off again.
We were good for a while. We let it fall off again. Sketches are our version of going to the
gym on this. And we will get back on it. I swear it. I swear it. Otherwise, what am I doing paying
for all that royalty free music? Exactly. Exactly. And in terms of stuff to keep an eye out for
I have extra dates
for my Soho Theatre run
6th, 7th, 8th
of February so please do come to
see me if you are in London
on those dates, the first week beforehand is
sold out, unless you want to
come see me on your own and there's like a couple of
chairs on their own
but the first week is sold out
so they added extra dates
call me
an overabundant
Middle Eastern tree
but I've got extra dates
call me a cautious
singleton out on the town who's been,
what do you call it? Left at the altar? What do you call it? Where someone stood me up. Oh yeah,
that's right. Because I've got extra dates. There you go. Good jokes like that.
Blah, blah, blah. Come see me. They're selling pretty well, but it would be nice to do the
extra dates just as successfully as the main ones. Phil's going to be on tour in the spring. I will be supporting him on a lot of those dates. Check out his website for the information. I will be on tour in the autumn. Check out my website for that information. And I will be at Leicester Square. I'll be at Leicester Comedy Festival in February as well, doing a work in progress and the show I'm doing at Soho.
So if you live in Leicester, don't sprint down to London unless you want to see the show twice.
In which case, physicians do not recommend.
They just do not recommend.
And other than that, keep an eye out in February, I think,
for me and Phil's episode of World's Most Dangerous Roads.
We drive through the canyons and cliffs of Lesotho.
We did the voiceover stuff
just before Christmas in a studio.
It was cool.
A little narration of our adventures.
It's such a shame all the stuff they had to cut out.
I wish we could keep the rushes or something
because it was like live Bud Pod in a car.
It's like some sort of Bud Pod road trip.
It was sick.
I loved it. Phil loved most of bud pod road trip it was sick i loved it um phil loved
most of it but you watch there's some moments of true peril where he's he's loving it uh a little
less sorry there's hair in my mouth and i shouldn't sound surprised because there's hair above my lip
where it grows but nevertheless never nice never nice feeling. It's really mustache hairs.
There's a real bristle aspect to them.
They're just... Anyway.
So yeah, Soho Theatre, extra dates.
Please do come buy tickets
because if you sell out the first week like I have,
you want to sell out the extra dates.
You want to seem like people can't get enough.
And Phil's tour,
selling very well from what I'm aware of in the spring.
He's going all over the UK and to Dublin,
and maybe further afield, who knows?
That boy goes to the US, don't you know?
Yes, okay, great.
Anything else? Any other New Year's resolutions?
Just the usual shit.
Usual terrible business.
just the usual shit usual terrible business oh good luck going to the gym again for the first time in however long everyone it's not easy it's good though it's good to do it's good to do be
kind to yourselves and enjoy this uh filler bonus part so this is bonus pod 193 so this is the podcast episode you would have enjoyed if
you were a patreon on the friday after we released the normal podcast episode 193 on the wednesday
so wednesday morning you get the normal podcast friday 5 p.m for that friday feeling
you get the bonus pod.
So this is that bonus pod.
So if you want to live it as if it was real,
you can listen to them in a row
and capture the vibe.
I don't know.
Anyway, here it is.
Enjoy. Bye.
It's bonus pod 193 you arrive at the international wine tasting championships in burgundy france you can't
believe you made it you've been studying for so long. It's so exciting.
It's been really difficult.
It's been really challenging,
all the training and the preparation and the study.
But you're here at the most prestigious
wine tasting competition in the world.
And it's all been leading up to this.
There you are.
There are all the other teams from the other countries.
There's France, there's England. The United States.
Zimbabwe of course.
Now into.
It must be the fourth or fifth year or something.
Very exciting.
There's Japan.
There's Sweden.
And you are representing your country.
Podbadzia. Podbadzia,
and you shake hands with the judges,
welcome, welcome to the competition,
they say, and you say, oh, thank you,
and you sit down,
and they go,
welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the competition, to the wine tasting competition.
We will begin now.
And they bring you your first wine.
And it's a white wine.
They lay it down.
And you pick it up.
And you, oh, yes, you sort of lean it over.
You have a look at the color.
You give it a little sniff.
Oh, yeah.
It's crisp.
It feels fresh. It's probably new. Yeah,'s lovely take a sip oh yes oh i think it's a dry riesling
maybe uh from oh i think maybe it's actually german actually oh yeah then you write it down
yeah great and then and your second wine and they bring us another white wine you go okay this one's
got a bit more of a sort of barnyard smell to it. It actually tastes more like a natural wine. I wouldn't have thought
they'd include natural wines in a sort of traditional wine tasting competition. Maybe they're
branching out. Okay, so maybe I'll say this is a low intervention kind of barnyard.
Okay, this is a bit pongy actually. And then bring you the third wine.
Okay, well, this one's actually getting really barnyard-y. This one's really starting to smell like
sort of cow pets and farm and grass oh this was actually yeah okay it tastes all right
um another natural wine and then they bring you the first red wine and you go oh wow this is
getting strong now this is just this is very barnyardy this is really actually it's quite
sort of ammonia and oh god this is actually quite unpleasant it's thick, it's quite sort of ammonia and, oh, God, this is actually quite unpleasant.
It's thick.
Oh, it's kind of bitter.
Oh, gosh.
Maybe, oh, maybe, like, a very obscure natural Zinfandel from California, but, like, made in a garage.
This is, I don't like this at all.
And they bring the fifth
wine there's another red and this one is thick and it's quite like it's like maroon colored
and oh and this one just smells of pure this one smells like like a fart to be honest this smells
like bad and you go jesus and you look up at the French guy. He's got like his fancy pins.
And he's like, is there a problem?
And you go, this is, sorry, is this wine?
And he goes, this is a wine.
Disney Championship is it not?
And you go, yeah, I guess.
But this one, I mean, this smells very, is there a fault in it?
Is it okay?
Is it corked?
And you raise it up to him and he gives it a sniff.
And you go, and the guy's like...
Like, you can see he's retching.
And, like, he holds back a puke in his mouth and he swallows it back up.
And then he goes, no, that is correct.
And you're like, oh, okay.
And you...
Oh, God, and you put down this natural Zinfandel.
And then the final wine comes and it's just a shit in a glass.
It's just shit.
It's just a single solid shit in a big wine glass.
And you go, what?
Okay, it's not really funny.
This is kind of an important important but then you look around and
everyone's got a piece of shit in a big wine glass the swedes are they're like swirling it
around and they're like and they're giving a think and they're looking up and and they're
conferring with each other yes this shit is your poopy poop poop. Poopy. And you go, what?
And you look over at Japan and they're like looking at it.
They're looking, peering into shit and they're tasting a bit.
And you're like, hmm.
They're like writing notes down.
And you think, what are they writing down?
It's a piece of shit in a glass.
What's going on?
This is insane.
And you stand up and you go, no, sorry.
Is everyone gone mad?
This is a shit in a glass.
What's happened?
This is meant to be the most prestigious wine tasting competition in the world.
And we're writing down notes about a shit in a glass?
This is an insult.
This is not right.
And then, from the back of the room,
two figures have just been sat at a big table with hoods over their heads obscuring their faces they get up the chairs push back really loudly as they get up
and the whole the whole room is silent as they watch these two figures walk down the aisle towards the pod bud. Clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop, clip, clop.
And
one
of them says, is there a problem
with the final wine?
And you go,
is there a problem? It's a shit
in a glass, mate. What are you talking
about? What is this?
This is like a hate crime.
This should be illegal. This is not safe.
It could make people sick.
And then the other figure goes, what year?
And you go, what?
And the figure goes,
what year is it?
Who is the producer?
What region
is it from?
And you go, what are you talking about and then we and then both
figures pull down their hoods and it's me and pierre and and i say i we're both really angry
and i say amateur it's clearly a 2019 pierre goes, region, England.
And I go, producer.
And then Pierre lifts his finger up, points at me angrily.
And I said, producers me.
Producers me.
And they look over at Japan.
And they're gleefully lifting up their sheet of paper.
And they've got it all correct.
2019, producer Phil, region London, England.
And you crash out of the World Wine Facing Championships.
And you're banned from France.
They tear up your passport.
You can never enter France again.
And every time you go into...
Word has spread in the wine community.
In the wine community, word has spread.
And every time you go into a wine shop they
spit at your feet and they say get out welcome to bonus part nice very good thank you thank you
thank you very nice producer
also oh really horrible image like a log of shit in a wine glass and loads of people hushed
yeah
god's sake i'm 32 years old i'm 32 years old and i'm making jokes that i would have made at
nine this is not right this is not right but at least at least i got to
really flex some some i mean all that setting was just based off when i watched uh blind ambition
so i just needed to down i just needed to sort of download all that that imagery
so i want you to know the setting was very well researched,
even if the story
was embarrassing for a man
with an engineering degree to tell.
That's the best kind of story.
Any story an engineer finds embarrassing
is a good one
gosh well that's that's the story for this week enjoy i guess i hope you're happy now here's a controversial view that you espoused to me last night which is not
controversial in the normal way but i think people will find it controversial you prefer black olives to green olives
oh yes we actually we appear and i were at um a fun little party last night and behind the bar
they had a big old jar of green olives and pierre said quite provocatively i not little
green olives they're big fat greek ones big big boys and they're pitted as well so we're ready
to just throw in there um and pierre said i could eat that whole jar in one sitting
and i said oh yeah nice i said i said i could eat like i said I could eat that whole jar in one sitting and then I did
loads of like arm flexes
yeah like Gaston
he'd throw them in his mouth like eggs
like Gaston throws eggs in his mouth
I knocked loads of other people's drinks at the bar while I was doing it
bling smash bling
I would flex my biceps And then point at the jar
And then flex again
And then just continuously say the phrase
One sitting
And everyone did like a little clap
Yeah
And then I bowed
And then you said
And I said I think I actually prefer the black olives
and then everyone went ho ho ho and returned to the
conversations leaving just me and
Pierre to hash it out
yeah I mean it's not
an entire and then
Pierre thought well this is a good debate
to have on the pod
this will divide people
and I think it definitely will
are you a green olive person are you a black olive person And I think it definitely will. Are you a green olive person?
Are you a black olive person?
Personally, I think green olives,
they're fine.
They serve their purpose.
I'm not going to kick one out of bed.
But the black olives just have a little more character,
a little more depth.
I like that they're a little stickier.
They're a little more floppy. The greens can be a little more depth. I like that they're a little stickier. They're a little more floppy. The greens
can be a little pert, a little...
Tangy.
A little tangy.
A little uninviting.
A little inhospitable. Whereas the black
olives, they kind of melt in your mouth.
They're kind of soy
or saucy. They're rich. They're deep.
I think this might be something like you
know you know that there's the thing where like based on your genetics you can taste the aftertaste
of diet cocoa you can't right so when i eat black olives there's this real sort of terrible
evil tang to them i think i know the taste you mean but i don't find it unpleasant i think in tiny
quantities with the right combos of things i enjoy it like but but yeah just the idea of
preferring them wholesale to the big fat juicy green boys and quickly what is the diet coke
aftertaste um i'm not I'm not sure if I can...
Well, you can't taste it.
I don't know if I can taste it and I just like it
or I can't taste it.
And that's why I love Diet Coke so much.
I just like that it tastes of chemicals.
I'm just so addicted to it.
Oh, right.
Well, yeah, so I'm...
Yeah, because I assume that's what the aftertaste was.
It's a chemical afterburn of Diet Coke,
which I think is unpleasant.
I don't like Diet Coke.
But it's got... got weren't you saying
that or someone said that they actually got they got the recipe for fat-free coke much better with
things like coke zero whatever yes but people like people like the fake taste of diet coke yes and
they had to keep it yeah so coke zero is basically perfect sugarless coke because it does pretty much taste
like normal coke it's got very much the same sort of um vegetable extract zing but um everyone
including me we would have rioted i don't care why you like diet coke though it feels
i just feel it makes me feel like a robot when i drink diet
coke it makes me feel like i'm drinking like you know like something that's good for machines but
not for people yes now you're talking
robo juice it feels like i'm drinking circuits especially because the can is of silver metallic.
I feel like I'm drinking a circuit board.
Yeah, or like it's a robot's little head that you've pulled off and you're drinking its brain.
Gosh, yeah.
Yeah, it's not for me.
It's not for me.
But people do get really addicted.
People get addicted to Diet Coke in a way no one gets addicted to any other drink. Not even full fat. I mean, that's me. That's me. But people do get really addicted. People get addicted to Diet Coke in a way no one gets addicted to any other drink.
Not even full fat.
That's me. I've had to stop
buying it.
If it's in the house, I'll drink liter after liter
of it.
It's not good.
It shouldn't be done.
If I was
doing that with any other liquid, you'd call the police.
Even water.
Yeah, it's too much water.
Yeah.
You're Diet Coke-logged.
I'm Diet Coke-logged.
You're Diet Coke-logged.
Yeah, now olives are something that
I think as a kid
I thought were disgusting.
It's one of those foods that as a kid, you're like,
why do people go on about this?
It's kind of like alcohol in that way.
When you have alcohol and you can like, blah.
And then in your adulthood, olives and booze are the best.
They're the best.
Yeah, well, I think the only olives I tried when I was young were black olives.
And so I was like, what is happening?
Why is this on a pizza?
And then I think green olives were sort of my way in where I was like, what is happening? Why is this on a pizza? And then I think green olives were sort of my way in where I was like,
oh, well, these are actually,
then they've got a little bit of red pepper in there in the middle now,
bit of garlic.
You know, you can stuff them.
Pimento.
But you've just described such a lovely food though,
black olives on pizza.
Can you make green olives on pizza?
It would be gross.
No, I don't want that.
I don't want that.
I want them...
So you're no olives on pizza at all?
I don't...
Do you know what?
I feel like I've had high quality green olives in my life
and I've had the kind that comes in a tin,
like a cheap takeaway.
And I think I've only ever had cheap black olives.
Maybe there's a really good one out there.
You've never had the Kalamata?
You've never had some nice Kalamata?
Kalamata black olives?
I don't know if I have, you know.
Maybe I haven't.
Lovely, meaty, meaty, tasty.
Maybe that's the problem.
Do you find it a bit mind-bendy as I do,
that when you eat an olive, you sort of think, where's the problem do you do you find it a bit mind-bendy as i do that when you when you
eat an olive you sort of think where's the oil
yeah well sometimes they're in oil and like okay that's tasty oil that's cheating but um
yeah i don't really understand also quickly you've just reminded me of the existence of
cheap black olives which i've imagined and yeah those are horrible yeah those are horrible cheap black olives are worse cheap black olives i mean this
says a lot about my level of privilege that when you said black olives i just went straight to
kalamata olives that's all i've been picturing for two days i've been picturing kalamata olives
and you've just reminded me of cheap black olives and yes those are soapy and horrible yeah those are bad little yeah so cheap cheap
green olives better than cheap black olives but fancy black olives are better than fancy green
olives this is what i'll have to say this is what i'll have to say at the trial yeah this is what
i'll have to say to the police okay i'm warning you now when the police ask I'm gonna have to say I know
I know what we said officer
but I said
I agree cheap black
olives are gross but the fancy black
olives are nicer than the fancy green olives
and they'll go my god you're right
you're gonna be behind a big perspex screen and you're gonna be saying
have you ever had
kalamata olives Clarice
they taste quite different saying, have you ever had Kalamata olives, Clarice?
They taste quite different.
She's going to put some black olives in the little drawer,
and you're going to go do a big sniff and give her some advice on the serial killer
in exchange for some.
And give us some advice on the serial killer in exchange for some.
Well, let us know if you're in the green or black olive community.
Yeah, which community are you in?
Green olives or black olives community?
Yeah, where does the oil come out of an olive? You know what?
I'm so perplexed about where the hell oil comes from in an olive
that I just have so much admiration for like the ancient Greeks.
And like even before them, what, the Phoenicians were probably extracting oil from olives?
It's like, how?
Yeah.
How with no technology?
How did you know there was oil in there?
And how the hell did you get it out?
And also, whenever you see vegetable oil, you go, what vegetable?
It's all rapeseed, pretty much. Vegetable oil is pretty much all rapeseed or sunflower oil.
That makes more sense to me.
I don't know about you, Pierre. Those aren't vegetables.
Those aren't vegetables.
I don't know when you've had a salad and gone, oh, more sunflower, please.
Or, oh, this rapeseed soup is delicious in the winter.
These aren't vegetables.
This is my problem, is that growing up, I would see the vegetable oil and I would look at like broccoli and go, really?
Where?
You'd pick up broccoli and lift it to eye level and go, really?
Really?
Oil?
Oily?
I can't think of anything less
oily in the world than vegetables.
No, precisely.
They're the thing you eat to counter
the oily food you want
to eat. Yeah, they're the anti-oil.
Surely. How do you get oil
out of clothes?
Not quite.
Not quite, Google.
Out of olives.
That's where we're at.
Because when you eat an olive, you go,
hmm, juicy, but I'm not... There's no oil in my mouth.
Is there?
Here we go.
An olive press works by applying pressure to olive paste
to separate the liquid oil and vegetation water
from the solid material. The oil and vegetation water from the solid material.
The oil and vegetation water are then separated by decantation.
Olive presses were traditionally built within walled structures.
Well, yeah.
Okay.
I don't see how that's pertinent.
Okay.
Okay.
So basically you turn olives into a paste and I guess it's just oil in the flesh.
Yeah. And you squidge it and you I guess it's just oil in the flesh. Yeah.
And you squidge it, and you squidge it,
and the oil comes out.
But why is there oil?
I guess plants have fat as well, don't they?
Yeah.
Plants just have fat.
Yeah, but still.
Isn't that weird to think everything has fat?
All living things have fat, Pierre, even like plants.
All living things. Do you think the fat plants are like thinner plants? Yeah. Do you fat, Pierre, even like plants. All living things!
Do you think it's a fat plant and thinner plants?
Do you think some plants look like other plants?
That birch needs to diet
or something.
Phil's out here fat-shaming vegetables.
I've run out of people.
I fat-shamed all the people.
I moved on to vegetables
Very mysterious
Well let us know
Phil we've got some VIP correspondents to deal with
Oh excellent
Excellent
Aaron
Aaron gets in touch
Aaron
We're gonna be hearing
what you gotta say
Aaron says hi Bill and Ben
which I like
the poopy bum man
she says I think I found
some aggressive tat you will love see if the tat
whisperer can guess the punchline
here we are
okay yes okay I'm i'm not i'm not particularly fresh today but i'll i'll try
so the tat is it's it's on this link is it's on etsy okay and it's a candle phil
yep and on the glass holder for the candle it says
our friendship is like this candle yeah it's
a candle hold yeah like a glass tube the candle is within oh yes yeah yeah yeah
our friendship is like this candle if you blank blank I'll blank your blank blank blank.
Fucking hell.
Okay.
Our friendship is like this candle.
If you blank blank, I will blank your blank blank.
Yeah.
Or rather, blank your triple blank.
Our friendship is like this candle.
If you blank blank, I will blank your blank blank. I'll help you out a bit. Our friendship is like this candle if you blank blank i will blank your i'll help you out
a bit our friendship is like this candle if you blank me okay i'll blank your blank blank blank
to be honest. If you... If you blank me...
If you
light me...
I will...
Oh, okay, okay.
If... Yes, yes, yes.
Aaron described it as aggressive
Tatch, remember?
Fuck, okay, okay, okay.
Oh, shit.
If you... If shit. If you...
If you...
Oh, fuck.
If you... Okay, okay.
Oh, yes, okay.
Our friendship is like this candle.
If you leave me, I will burn your house down.
You pretty much got it.
I will burn your fucking house down?
Yes!
Basically, if you forget me,
I'll burn your fucking house down. But I mean, you've got it.
Fucking hell. Yeah.
Great. Okay.
Oh, wow.
I quite like that. That's kind of fun.
Yeah.
I like that, Ted. It's kind of fun yeah it's um i like that tat it's kind of fun it's kind of funny it's aggressive but it knows itself it's fun it's one of the funniest
candles i've ever seen yeah of all the candles i've seen it is among the funniest yeah that's
true um oh good stuff and er And Erin says some very nice stuff.
I won't read it out.
She says some very nice stuff about the benefits of signing up to the Patreon,
and she's glad she did it, which is very nice.
Thank you, Erin.
We do appreciate it.
Oh, excellent.
On to all of you.
But we appreciate it.
Yes, thank you.
Lots of love.
Erin in Scotland.
I have a Shat Myself story somewhere in your emails,
but I might send it again to get priority.
Yes, yes.
The morass of emails.
Let's see.
Is there another?
Is there another?
Yes, there is.
Yes, there is.
We have had some issues with the RSS link.
I'm trying to get Patreon to fix it.
We don't do any of the tech.
We're not techies.
So apologies if there's been any issues.
But Patreon are the guys to get in touch with,
which is certainly what I'm doing. there seems to have been some mass update
that's made some people's things not work
none of which can be solved by us
but there's nothing worse than sending someone a link
to an FAQ is there Phil
it feels so impotent
but it's all one can do
yeah
FAQ
FAQ yeah
it's all one can do is FAQ
so
a big old boy from
Andy
Andy
how handy
to hear from Andy
Andy says
Dear Poached Piers
With Chanfilly Cream
Wow
Lovely Chanfilly Cream
What's that? Chantilly
What's that a play on?
Oh very good
Chantilly Cream very good very tasty
approaching a year ago i was honored to be featured in the inaugural correspondence special
ah it's safe to say though my original email was the product of a case of correspondence
constipation and was severely overloaded it would have taken far too many louis to release it all
and was severely overloaded.
It would have taken far too many Louies to release it all.
Far too many Louies?
Of effort, I think.
To release it all.
Right.
At the time, there was a vague reference,
you may one day return to it.
I think this was just like a seven page.
Maybe this was the one that Andy sent, was it full of references that we didn't even remember?
Right, yeah. Like a mechanized Bruce Forsyth
attacking the Falklands
oh fuck
it's Bruce Forsyth
he sort of stomps
and
shoots lasers
nice to kill you
to kill you
anyway so he says I thought I'd save you the strain Nice to kill you. To kill you.
Anyway, so he says,
I thought I'd save you the strain and instead send over a couple of choice comments
from the initial email.
However, I did also want to include a story
I only remembered recently,
but one that fits beautifully into the canon.
So this one is called A Short Piss Story.
Nice.
While at uni, a friend of mine moonlighted as a receptionist
at the local sexual health clinic very sitcom scenario yes but good important work on one shift
a patient attended the clinic who seemed a little nervous and unsure my friend tried to put him at
ease and dutifully advised him he'd need to provide a urine sample
and have some swabs taken.
He was informed the urine sample
should be deposited in a little hatch
on the other side of the waiting room.
He clarified which hatch it was
and my friend diligently pointed it out.
Now, I can't say for certain
whether my friend did or did not
make the basket of sample parts
by her side clear enough. Nevertheless, a few moments later she was interrupted with shouts of no no no no no
emanating from her colleagues in the lab she looked up to see the man using the hatch as a
glory hole urinal no depositing oh no so so from so from in the lab what they saw was the thing No Depositing it Oh no
So from in the lab
What they saw was the thing
The little door open up
And just a penis
Pissed straight into this hatch
That's fantastic
No no no
It's being showered in piss through a hatch by
a stranger horrible well depends what you're into
that's so perfectly comical that's such a great that's such a comic in front of all the other
waiting patients she says as well he He says, sorry. Incredible.
Trying to ensure the lab got the freshest sample possible.
Yes.
I'm not sure what happened after that,
but I do hope his STI screen was negative so he did not have to return.
Yeah, that's true.
Or infect everyone in the lab with his stream.
Yeah, chemical weapon.
Yeah.
So this is called... Chlamydia gun. Yeah. Chemical weapon. Yeah.
So this is called Chlamydia gun.
Yeah.
This is called
medical titbit.
What is?
This next chunk.
He's governed subheading.
Oh, okay.
Oh, great.
Oh, lovely.
So that was a short history
and this is a medical titbit.
It seems you gentlemen
at Budpod HQ
appreciate bonus science
Oh yes please
As well as callbacks to conversations that you potentially
don't remember, yes
As such, I thought I'd kill two
birds with one stone and provide a medical tidbit
that stems from a previous correspondent
Love it
Love it
Way back in episode 90
Way back
Yeah, way back There was 90. Way back.
Yeah.
There was a story of an orangutan drinking windscreen washer fluid.
This rings a bell.
Usually included among the ingredients of this
are methanol and ethylene glycol,
which lower the freezing point.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
An arguably interesting fact,
depending on what you find interesting,
is that one of the antidotes to these toxins is everyone's favorite pleasure.
Alcohol.
Ah, yes, of course.
As such, there are many tales of patients in remote hospitals being asked to drink vodka
or having it injected IV because it was quicker than waiting for medical-grade antidotes to arrive.
So, right, so if someone swallowed antifreeze, the antidote is alcohol.
Yeah.
Right.
This also...
Oh, straight into the veins.
Yeah.
This also creates the questionable situation of occasionally needing to prescribe alcohol to a
child as the luminous blue color of such fluid can provide a keen attraction to a toddler in
the back of a car oh no poor kids but party kids party kids it did make me wonder though
whether the rangers made the orangutan a stiff drink to help them recover.
Oh yeah, interesting.
He says seeing one sup and old-fashioned would be a sight
to behold.
You know the big
sort of rounded ice cube.
Just...
An orangutan.
You know when they kind of
knuckle run.
Completely without spilling a martini in one hand. And orangutan is swirling it about. You know when they kind of knuckle run? Yeah.
But completely without spilling a martini in one hand.
With a pinky out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Swinging down from the trees,
holding, like not spilling a drop.
So like us.
Lovely tidbit. Lovely tidbit lovely tidbit
and then this next chunk
is entitled
final thought
over the years
there have been a few discussions
that have generated
recurrent themes
from the infamous
coolest uncool
the more fleeting
weirdest normal thing
and to the modern day
body conspiracies
ah yes however weirdest normal thing arising to the modern day body conspiracies. Ah, yes.
However,
arising from episode 60 was one
discussion that I thought had the potential to be longer
lived, but seemingly didn't catch on.
Oh, I remember this.
This was in relation to occupational
phrases to flush the loo to.
Occupational
phrases to flush the loo to.
Yes, originating from a story where a teacher said
originating from a teacher saying
you're expelled when flushing
oh right
okay yeah yeah yeah
you're expelled
a few came to me at the time
so perhaps it's worth rekindling
some kickstarters
football commentator
they think it's all over
and it is now when you flush perhaps it's worth rekindling. Some Kickstarters. Football Commentator. They think it's all over.
It is now when you flash it.
That's good.
He's written here, instead of cowboy,
and he's written Wild West
Bandit, which is really funny to me.
That's a Halloween costume.
Wild West Bandit.
This town ain't big enough for the both of us
that's good
and he said this is nice
it's got a little twist in the tail
sewage worker until next time
that's good
I gotta
give a round of applause to that one
that one's really good
that's excellent that is good i like that's really funny i think we did one with comedians
or like maybe it would be funny if you were a comedian to do it like uh
yeah you're right like um you've been brilliant thank you good night good night
yeah or like uh ladies gentlemen, your headline act.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He says,
uh, that's all for now.
See you at Budpod live.
Kind Jackings,
dandy Andy.
Yes.
It was dandy Andy.
Oh,
excellent.
How exciting.
Yes.
We'll see a Budpod,
the sold out Budpod live.
Um,
although we,
we will be putting up,
uh,
another,
um, right. Well, that's all the time we have
thank you so much for the excellent correspondents
thank you guys and for being patreons
and remember Soho Theatre dates are
selling out there are extra dates
available
and do
get tickets for my tour please
especially if you're in Glasgow
because I'm in a big theatre there
in April in Glasgow Scotland
but otherwise
we'll see you next time
enjoy the Christmasy
vibes
bye