BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 108 B - WHAT? YEAH. OKAY!
Episode Date: April 6, 2021The Mandalorian's diversity, white Nollywood, Phil hates Olivier, correspondence includes: Olivia's Wish Dot Com canine adventure, Mhairi sends in an incredible baby note poem (pout s'much) and roasts... Phil's school, Paddy became the beef, George answers some questions about aphantasia Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
It's 108 B!
B-Pod.
B-Pod. B-Man. Don't make his mistake.
Remember that, listeners? For you it's been a week, but for us it has been five minutes.
It has been mere moments for us.
Your weeks flash before us like the blink of an eye.
Your human weeks mean nothing to us.
Our podcast minutes, they last your Earth days.
Your lifetimes are moments to us.
I like the idea of doing a podcast from a different dimension.
That'd be quite good.
Speaking of, I've been watching The Mandalorian
Oh have you?
Have you got yourself some Disney Plus?
Maybe
Maybe I have
It's brilliant, The Mandalorian is so great
And I don't like Star Wars
I've only watched
Nine of the movies But I don't like Star Wars. I mean, I've only watched nine of the movies.
But I don't think it's for me.
That's great.
There's nothing else.
I've committed so much time to that I've just never got.
And I still, like, every time I go into the cinema when there's a new Star Wars,
I think, maybe this time I'll get it.
And every time I come out going, that felt like
it was the same movie again.
I love the idea of you watching
nine Star Wars in a row with your
let me get this right,
left hand extended in front of you,
palm upwards.
Left hand extended in front of you, palm
upwards.
As if to say, what is it?
Or like, is this it like you know when you have your hand is upwards your palms up and
you're pointing with it oh i see when i first imagined it my palm was down so
doing a nazi salute no no like a weird like camp somewhat like a straight actor pretending to be
camp in a 70s comedy.
Yeah.
No, no, palm upwards. Do that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's this?
What's this? But the Mandalorian is very good. It's basically a western
set in the Star Wars universe.
It's brilliant.
It's really, really good.
Diverse to the hilt.
The casting,
it's like too diverse actually
overwhelmingly diverse
every episode there's
there's black characters
there's Chinesey characters
there's
uh
at one point I was like
can we get some white actors in here please
I don't feel
this feels strange.
You started to miss us.
Yeah.
You don't know what you've got until it's gone, Pierre.
What can I say?
That's right.
That's right.
I like that idea.
Like, oh, you know, those guys, they had their own vibe.
I miss them.
This is what we'll all be like when representation finally happens
We'll go, do you remember white actors?
I miss them
You know, it's not just Bollywood and Nollywood
In America there's this place called Hollywood
and they make films too
Yeah, the H stands for
White People
It's White Nollywood Yeah, the H stands for white people.
It's white Nollywood.
That's going to happen.
It's like Bollywood without the songs.
If you can imagine such a thing.
It's like Bollywood, but yeah, they've taken out all the dancing and singing and crazy special effects.
Might be weird.
Might sound weird. You might be thinking,
well, those films must last like 15 minutes.
But no, they find a way to
pad it out with dialogue
and plot.
It's real back-to-basics stuff.
It's raw, and it's
unfiltered from our point of view.
It's like a white Nollywood That's funny
Yeah, and from the little Nollywood I've seen
You'd be like
And sometimes the movie doesn't have three sequels
That are also three hours long
Sometimes it just doesn't
It's just one and done
I mean, they're just wasting their money
Is Japanese cinema Jollywood?
Oh, I hope so, but mostly it's probably
tentacle porn.
That's
Jellywood. It's a show for
jellyfish. From my point of view, Japanese
cinema is entirely
weird horror movies and
like, spirited
away.
Yeah.
That's it. Yeah. That's it.
Yeah.
It's either caught in a sort of childish arrested development,
or it's so traumatic,
only like a Navy SEAL veteran wouldn't throw up watching it.
Yeah, they do veer between the extremes.
Jollywood.
Jollywood, yeah.
Follywood.
And British cinema would be called Brollywood,
which is actually perfect.
That's great.
It's raining and everyone's got umbrellas.
Yeah.
That's perfect.
France would be Frollywood,
which sounds a bit like frog,
so I guess that kind of works.
Froglywood.
Froglywood.
The animals of Froglywood.
To be fair, Froglywood is almost certainly a place in England
Somewhere
Frogly Wood upon blimp
Or whatever yeah
Frogly Wood upon thmeigl
Lower crinkles
Swedish cinema would be
Swollywood
Swollywood
although that just sounds like porn again
it does sound like porn
Norwegian
no Wollywood
no Wollywood
no Wollywood
I mean this is a fun game that could last
hours
It could last for up to 26 examples
Anyway we should probably get back to
Corrie Wood which is
Correspondent Cinema
Damn right
And also
A lady's name
Corrie Wood it is
And also where they film
Coronation Street
Yes
Oh yes
Olivia gets in touch
Olivia
The Olivia Awards Olivia Olivia email Olivier the Olivier Awards
Olivier
Olivier email
you know what that Olivier
what's his name again the actor?
Laurence Olivier
one of the worst actors I've ever seen
why does everyone say
why is he held up as the perfect actor
he's garbage
he's just
I feel like a good actor
you shouldn't be able to tell that they're acting.
Every time I've seen Laurence Olivier I just go, that guy's
acting. He's acting. He's still acting.
Oh, he's acting really hard.
He's really giving this acting a go.
That's not good acting. I don't get it.
It was an obvious time. We're talking
30s, 40s, maybe
50s, right?
Oh, way
long. Shakespeare. It's pathetic.
Shakespeare.
Anyway, that's
my bit about how I hate Laurence Olivier.
I have this
fantasy where I'm, for some reason, presenting
an award at the Olivier Awards, and I go, you know,
Laurence Olivier was shit.
All he did was remember the
lines. He remembered lines, but all actors
do that.
And shouted.
Awful.
He's just the equivalent of some kid
who's memorised pi to 200 digits
or whatever.
Then they get on local news.
Yeah.
But instead he's heralded as the greatest actor
Of
In history
Give me a break
His statue I think he's wearing a cape
Ugh
Take a day off Lawrence
Amazing to think there was a period
Where if you were an actor
Then people would be like well where's your cape
Oh yeah of course Sorry left it at home It's amazing to think there was a period where if you were an actor, then people would be like, well, where's your cape?
Oh, yeah, of course.
Sorry.
I have to know.
Sorry, you're quite right.
My acting cape.
So the subject of Olivia's email is in all capital letters, WHAT?
Okay.
So she's set the tone Is she
Is she actually Lil
Lil Jon
Lil Jon
What
Is Lil Jon
Hiding from someone
And has come up with
The pseudonym Olivia
What But he can't not from someone and has come up with the pseudonym Olivia. What?
But he can't not
be true to himself in the subject
line. Yeah, so like there's
a bar where the people hunting him are
also hiding in the corner and someone
says, oh my friend Olivia is going to be here soon, she's really
nice and they go, oh that sounds nice and then little John
just walks in and goes, what?
And the people in the corner speak into their collars
and they go, we got him, move.
And as they arrest him, you just
couldn't help yourself, could you, Lil Jon?
I mean, what an achievement to make the word
what synonymous with you.
It's quite good because it implies
that your very presence
should be astonishing and surprising.
What?
Yeah.
It's impressive.
And the other one, of course, was yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, well.
At least he answered his own question.
Here we go.
Google, what is Lil Jon famous for saying?
If you're a fan of hip-hop or even pop,
you've probably heard of Jonathan Smith,
more widely known as Lil Jon.
His name's John Smith?
What?
Wow.
What?
His name's John Smith?
What?
He's most famous for the words...
How funny is this?
This is like a sentence from 30 Rock. He's most famous for the words. How funny is this? This is like a sentence from 30 Rock.
He's most famous for the words, yeah, what, and okay.
I mean, that is, that is really the mark of genius to be able to, to own those words.
Yeah, what what and okay
okay
I mean
you have to be a musical genius
it's difficult isn't it because that kind of sentence really puts
a wrench in the span a spanner in the works
of anyone uh anyone trying to
pull like the whole thing of like well you know
rap is just poetry and you know
it's as valid an art form as opera or something
like don't be a snob and it's like he's most famous
for the words yeah what and okay
it doesn't look good
written down is all I'm saying
that's exactly right
so
Olivia
if that is your real name says what
yeah John what are your secrets say for this John Olivia If that is your real name says what Yeah John
Your secret's safe with us John
Olivia alright we'll go along with this
Don't worry Jonathan Smith
Your secret's okay
With us
Yeah
She says A up boobs and peens
Nice I'm definitely boobs At this point of lockdown She says A up boobs and peens Nice
I'm definitely boobs at this point of lockdown
I was going to say
I think we're both boobs and peens
We're both rocking the boobs and peens
I think
And she just sends
An image with a caption
Would you look at the fucking state of this?
Oh, is it some tat?
So, Olivia has been on Wish.com.
Wish.com?
Yeah.
Okay.
Is that like a shopping kind of...
Do you know...
Oh, it's like a furniture interior decoration kind of...
You know when you go on Facebook
and there'll be like a shopping advert thing in the page
and it'll just say,
New great deals.
And it'll be a photograph of what looks like some mold in a plastic bag.
And then a photograph of some kind of heavily modified underpants.
And then a kind of blurry
zoomed out picture of
someone wearing a hat that appears to have
a dildo on it.
You mean just like deals on very strange
things? Yeah.
Have you not seen these? The Wish things? It's a meme.
Wish. No.
Okay, Google weird
Wish objects now and have a look wow you've got a this is the
trouble with not logging on phil you you've you're missing out weird wish ads oh gosh here we go
they're so weird there's there's ones like pants that look like they're modified so that you can
piss through them or like weird like um fashion things that don't make any sense oh the mold in a bag is my least favorite
one and it keeps popping up oh there's like cushions here shaped as a slice of bread bread
cushion some kind of horrifying cat mask oh there's like some underpants with a little
a little gap in the butt for farting out of. Yes, there you go.
See, that's the one I was talking about.
What on earth?
A wig that's bald at the back.
A dog's hat.
Wish shopping made fun.
What does that mean?
Some weed pipe.
Some crack pipes.
Actual crack pipes.
Some kind of penis thing.
I'm just scrolling through them now.
A toe.
Ugh! Is it just like...
Yuck!
Is it just a place for all the
things no other shop is willing to sell?
I think it's like auto-generated
stuff, and it's actually just an advert
for some kind of Chinese manufacturing
conglomerate that will just make out of plastic
whatever you want.
Ah!
So like the meme. Ah, so like the,
the meme,
the meme is like,
uh,
um,
is like,
Oh mom,
I want to,
you know,
whatever,
a thingy hat.
And the mom will be like,
we have thingy hat at home or whatever.
Like that's what wishes wishes.
The thing you have at home.
That's like the shit version of it.
Right.
Okay.
And there's,
and there's loads of examples of someone ordering something from wish and it
arrives and it's like
insanely like badly made
or ugly or strange
okay okay okay
so Olivia sent in
an ad from Wish
well she sent in a search she's on Wish looking for
god knows what
well okay she's only got herself to blame then
oh my god there's a Wish advert
which is just rows and rows of teeth
What the fuck
Yeah, I saw that one
Anyway, so Wish is a disgusting and weird thing
I don't understand
Anyway, she's on Wish
And she was looking for something
For her dog, right?
Okay
Now dog toys is one of the few things I would trust Wish with
And so she's on Wish.com.
This is a screenshot of, you know, when you type in
a search bar and it gives you suggestions.
So Olivia has
typed in dog.
Fair enough. Oh god, yeah.
And so I'm going to read you through the list.
Ugh, I'm going to be sick.
So dog.
Underneath dog we have dog
stuff.
Okay. Who's searching for dog stuff have Dog stuff Okay Who's searching dog stuff?
Dog stuff, I mean that's still fair enough
I mean they're just like toys and
Accoutrement
Dog stuff
It's like if your dog could talk and you asked him what he was doing
Where have you been?
Dog stuff
Dog stuff, nothing
So we've got dog stuff
Dog clothes
Oh yeah
I've been seeing a lot of dogs recently
Because there are more dogs in the UK now
Than there are people
And lots of people put little shirts on their dogs.
Yeah.
Little stinky outfits.
I think it's actually a very handy way of
telling instantly
whether you've just got a dog
in lockdown. If you've got a t-shirt on it,
this is your first dog.
You've just got a dog in lockdown.
Yeah, there's a t-shirt on it or
I find that the crazier the outfit
the less likely you were to have grown up
with dogs.
So dog clothes, dog bed, fine.
Yeah, fine.
Dog toys, fine.
Dog collar, yes.
Yeah.
Yes.
As long as it's for a dog That's not too weird
Dog harness
It could be
Maybe that's where all the
Vickers stuff is, the dog collar
Oh man, you don't want to buy
A name brand dog collar
They will rip you off
If you're a priest, you're going to save a lot of money
Getting one made in China
Yeah, you can buy like pack of 50 for £3.
That's right. Disposable.
Dogs for sale.
A very bold thing to type into wish.com.
No thanks. It'll turn up with a leg on its back.
What kind of haunted monstrosity would you get if you bought a dog from Wish?
Dog breathes,
which is weird. Like, a book about them,
dog breathes, maybe? Something like that?
Yeah. And then last
and highlighted for our perusal,
the final suggestion, Phil, is
dog dildo.
No! No!
Pierre, stop it.
I didn't want to hear that
Take it back
Take it back
Dog dildo
I don't even want to discuss what that means
Olivia says
I want to be clear that I haven't previously searched for dildos
Of any variety vanilla I know
On wish.com so this did come as quite the shock
On the bright side not everyone can have
An I fucked a dog story
So Olivia there of course olivia there is saying that she thinks that is a dildo for use
on a dog and this is this is one of the possibilities i was dreading just now thinking
about what this could possibly mean it's when the best case scenario of something you're considering is that it's a dildo in the shape of a dog,
you know you're in
a bad place.
That's best case scenario, is a dildo
in the shape of a dog. It would have to be a sausage dog.
Yeah, you don't want a pug.
No, and it would have to be a dog where
if it's a breed with pointy ears, it would have to be
ashamed, so its ears were flat.
I guess like a Rhodesian Ridgeback or something, or a Greyhound would be quite sleek.
Yeah.
I guess that would be alright.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
You don't want like an Irish Sheepdog.
A Wirehaired Terrier.
Oof, no.
Horrible.
That would be like...
That would be some damage.
Look, at least we're figuring out
which breed of dog is the shape most insertable
to a human orifice.
Yeah, and what other podcast can claim that?
Exactly, exactly
I don't see this American life
Going in deep on this particular story
Yeah, you won't see this on the BBC
The BBC most watched
Which breed of dog's shape is most amenable to dildos?
Five reasons why a sausage dog dildo is the best one
What happened to all the terrier dildos?
Yes, and so that's the best option
Obviously the worst option is just the simulation of bestiality.
Ugh, I mean...
I mean...
I guess dogs need a wank too, and it's harder for them.
I don't know how they do it.
Do they have to rub up against a post or something?
I guess they hump your leg.
Is that wanking for them?
I'm not sure.
They just seem confused.
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know what...
They don't know what they want, I think.
Well, thank you, Olivia.
Now we're all thinking about dog dildos.
Thank you, Olivia.
Yes, thank you, little John.
Horrible.
Horrible.
What?
What?
Which is a fair enough reaction. A dog dildo?
Okay.
Mari gets in touch.
Mari.
Mari? Mari.
Mari.
M-A-R-I. M-H-A-A-R-I.
M-H-A-I-R-I.
Oh, is that Mari?
Oh, yeah, yeah, nice one, nice one.
Mari, come from Afari.
That's right.
She says, hey, dad bods.
Nice.
Yeah.
Nice.
She says, apologies if you've had that one before
I'm a new listener
I don't think we have
I don't think so
I mean in real life sure
Out on the street
Yeah
My two flatmates
Have gone away for a few weeks
And I replaced them with Budpods
So thanks for the company
Ah that's nice
Yeah
Pierre's imaginary son ramblings
Had me crying in Sainsbury's
I need to listen to imaginary son again
I can send you the so I've submitted
us for the British podcast awards
oh great yeah send it to me
but you had to we had to edit together a 15
it could only be 15 minutes long
and you had to have between 3 and 5 different
episode entry things
did you put any lucky Kentucky
in there was no room I was amazed all the stuff that people different episode entry things. Did you put any Lucky Kentucky in?
There was no room.
I was amazed.
All the stuff that people were saying,
oh, it's like this or that.
I put in Mechatine.
Oh, okay.
Mechatine's good.
But the difficulty was... I do want to show off your editing skills.
I put in Mechatine and...
I put in Mechatine, Imaginary Son,
Chicken Fists, and Dad Pants.
Okay, great.
Wow, wow, wow.
What a...
What a...
incredible collection of absolute gold.
Yeah.
Well, it's amazing.
So many people wanted us to send in the bit
where the woman shat her own pussy.
Yeah, I think that's a bit much.
It's a bit much, and also also it's like 12 minutes long yeah it should the submission should have been just that story
um so and that's your that's your advance warning listeners is that if if if if worse comes to worst
we'll be trying to win the popularity contest and we'll all need to make lots of fake email accounts to vote for us.
So she says, my poo story, she says, is one of baby poo.
Okay.
Yeah.
Sweet.
Sort of yellow.
Not very offensive.
When I was around a year old,
Sort of yellow.
Not very offensive.
When I was around a year old,
my mum asked my two older sisters,
who were then four and five,
to play with me for a bit.
Okay.
Yeah.
Fun.
Fair enough.
We'd been playing happily together when I, being a baby,
soiled my nappy.
I think that's perfectly fair enough.
Perfectly fair.
It was obviously so unbearable for them that they believed the best course of action
was to place me outside the bedroom door with the attached note around my neck
and wait for mum to find me.
What did the note say so she's attached to a photo
and it's very funny but it's quite hard to read
so she's transcribed it and it's
it does remind me
it does remind me of like
when you get a fragment of sort of Anglo-Saxon
poetry
this is really funny
So
The poem
It's a four line poem
This note
Wow a poem
Well no no it's not a poem it just is a poem
Oh okay okay
They didn't intend it as a poem Phil
But the artist's intentions don't matter as much as people would have you believe
Yeah Yeah They are poets and they didn't know it It's not intended as a poem, Phil, but the artist's intentions don't matter as much as people would have you believe.
Yeah, yeah.
They are poets and they didn't know it.
Exactly.
This is a note that's been attached to a shat baby.
However, especially the way Mari has formatted it in the email, it looks like a poem.
So it's four lines, right?
There's a note.
Yeah.
The first line is,
Come, mum.
Yeah.
So come, come, mum.
As in, get over here quick.
Come, mum.
Second line.
The baby has poot. have they spelt poot?
It's P-O-U-T
Pout, like pout
Yeah, like pout
But she says in brackets, pooped
This is like
This is like old
Like shawcer or something
That's what I mean, yeah
Old English
Come, mum.
Second line.
The baby has poot.
Third line.
And she has poot so much that we can't stand it.
Come, Mum, the baby has poot.
And she has poot so much that we can't stand it.
Fourth line, final line.
Because she has poot so much. It is quite beautiful.
It's really nice, yeah.
And in the last line, so much is S apostrophe much.
Really?
So much?
So much.
It's so good.
Like it's a blues song
Yeah, so I'm going to read it all in one go now
That you have the spelling in your head
Yes, please
Come, mum
The baby has poot
And she has poot so much
That we can't stand it
Because she has poot so much
Have they gone poot so much. Have they gone from, like, so much in the third line
to so much in the fourth?
But in the third line, it is so much.
Yeah, it's proper in the third line.
I love that.
That's so much better that they've changed it.
Yeah, it's like they've changed it
to match some rhythm that we can't
perceive. Yeah, like there's a
meter. Yeah.
Come, mum. The baby has
poot. And she has poot so much that we can't
stand it. Because she has poot
so much.
I love the circular look.
They just left her out there with a sign like a leper.
This note on her neck. A warning to the other babies in the circular look. And they just left her out there with a sign like a leper. This note on her neck.
Or like a warning to the other babies in the Wild West.
Also, what a funny, like, urgent note to say, but it's still a note.
Like, they could have just knocked on the door.
That's been so funny to find a baby with a note attached.
It's also such a funny thing
Where obviously the mum has said
Don't bother me
Play with your sister
And they've gone well we'll not bother you but we'll write a note
Oh it's pooed so much
She's pooed so much I can't stand it
I can't stand how much she's pooed
She's pooed too much for me
Get him a pen
Well this is just ridiculous
Fetch the pen
Where's the paper
This is just absurd
I can't believe this
Come mum
Stop
What's funny about the notes
The baby has put
And she has put so much that we can't stand it Because she has put so much Stop. What's funny about the notes... The baby has poot. The baby has poot.
And she has poot so much that we can't stand it,
because she has poot so much.
Yes, I think that'll do.
So there's a photo of the note here,
and it's a very funny note, because...
In the upper left corner of the note are just two happy faces.
Oh, that's nice.
Just drawings of the two girls doing the reporting.
Okay, so just so the mum knows they're not angry about this.
We're not angry about this.
And the bit where it says,
Mum, come.
The come is...
Obviously it's spelt,
because they can't spell very well.
It is spelt as in jizz,
but they definitely don't mean jizz
no I don't think so
I'd be very surprised
so the word come is written in
black crayon
and the rest of the note is written in kind of green
right
is it to add some urgency to the
come
mom come the baby has put
and has
put so much that we can't stand it come yeah mom come the baby has put and has and has
put so much that we can't
stand it because she has a poop
so much
and the letters are all over the
place it's real hostage hostage letter
stuff
you reckon
if you were taken hostage you could poo enough that the hostage
takers the terrorists would just
put you outside with a sign addressed to the police?
Saying, police come.
Come.
The hostage has pooed.
Come, police.
The hostage has pooed.
And they have pooed so much that we can't stand it because they have pooed so much.
I love it.
That's great.
That's really funny
and she says
this piece of prose
has become a bit like
folklore in my family
I'm sure
a final note
I also went to school
in Brunei
like Phil
no
what
but attended
the rival school
ISB
ISB
no way
yeah
incredible wow man I forgot about ISB. ISB? No way! Yeah. Incredible.
Wow.
Man, I forgot about ISB. We used to call...
We only ever heard stories of ISB.
Ooh. Never saw it.
For all I know, it doesn't actually exist.
Well, I mean...
International school, right?
Mari says, we used to call people who attended
his school, JIS, jerks and skirts.
Wow.
We never really spoke about the kids at ISB, which I guess is even more damning.
Yeah.
And they say, I think this is because they had a uniform and we didn't.
Sorry in advance if Phil struggles to recover from this burn.
Keep jacking it, Mari.
They didn't even have uniforms, those fucking hippies at ISB
no
respect no order
no tradition
the baby
has poot
all their babies are pooting all the time
the baby has poot that's so
funny wow what a coincidence
yeah that's nuts
yeah I mean I've met...
There's a comedian who we know from university called Jamie.
Oh, yeah?
He makes films now.
Yeah, yeah.
That was a big coincidence.
He was at Juradon International School.
It's mad.
Oh, yeah, maybe they know each other.
Jamie, yes, Scott. It's mad. Oh, yeah. Maybe they know each other. Jamie. Yes. God, that's weird.
Yeah.
Jamie Fraser.
The two areas in the world that have the most influence on my adult life are the West Midlands
and Brunei.
Yeah, isn't that funny?
What a combo.
Brunei, the Wolverhampton of Southeast Asia.
That's what they say, isn't it?
Yeah.
God.
Well, thank you very much for that, Mari.
I love that poem, especially the way you've transcribed it.
And, you know, like any artist, a mark is left in the transcribing.
Like any artist, a mark is left in the transcribing.
And just the image of a note being attached left with a baby is so dramatic.
It's very dramatic. It's so iconic.
Also, I love that a four-year-old and a five-year-old were like,
maybe a bit of poot, but this amount of poot.
If she poots any more, and this this is alright, but any more poot
and I'm out. It's too much.
We have to abandon this child.
This is 20 pounds
worth of poot.
She's been at those nutrients.
The nutrients from last week.
In your Earth days.
In your mortal time Thank you very much Mari
Yes thank you
Is it Mari or Mori
Mari I've always said
Because it's like the Irish
Is it Irish or Scottish
I think it's Scottish the spelling
Yeah like Mari Black
That young
MSP No MP I think Scottish, the spelling. Yeah, like Mari Black, that young... Yes.
MSP.
No, MP, I think.
Is she MP?
Yeah, she was MP.
She talked about how Jacob Rees-Mogg was nice to her.
Oh, yeah.
Is she not... Is she not an MP anymore?
I think she might still be.
I don't know. Anyway, that's the Mari. Is she not an MP anymore? I think she might still be. Yeah.
I don't know.
Anyway, that's the Mari.
Every story I've ever heard about a Tory politician
is that they're quite nice in person.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's almost always that they're nice
or they're very old and very insane.
But it's usually that,
especially if they're currently relevant, it's usually that they're very're currently relevant it's usually that they're
very nice and it's almost as if a big part of politics is getting on with people yes yes well
i think i've mentioned it before but um the the in the 90s they used to say that bill clinton won
because he passed the the what they call the beer test. Ah, yeah. And the idea is like,
who would you most like to have a beer with, you know?
Yeah.
But then they updated the beer test,
and it was who would you think
would most like to have a beer with you?
Oh, right.
So the other way around,
not only who would you like to hang out with
if you had the choice,
but who do you think, given the choice,
would bother to have a pint with you?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's when you get the Farage thing coming in.
Ah, who would bother?
Yeah, I see that.
Whereas, like, Nigel Farage is a ghoul,
but he would probably be up for having a pint with almost anyone.
Even me, Pierre?
Even you, Phil.
I won't go into what he'd say after his fourth pint
But he'd have a pint with me
Ha ha ha
Ha ha
Content me there
Remember when we saw him at King's Cross?
Yes, we saw him at King's Cross in real life
And he looked very different
He was waiting for someone
And no one looks
Potent or powerful
When they're waiting for something and no one looks potent or powerful when they're waiting for
someone
he's consistent in terms
of his brand because he was still dressed like
Nigel Farage
yeah he has wearing his tweed
I don't think he had a cigar
at the time but he might have done
he has one when you remember him
yeah yeah yeah
another powerful test
you know how the Mandela effect is how you remember him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Another powerful test.
You know how the Mandela effect is how you remember someone dying when they didn't?
The Farage effect is when you imagine someone had a cigar.
It used to be called the Churchill effect.
People actually imagined Churchill had a cigar when he didn't.
Yeah.
Yes, it was odd to see him in real life.
Paddy. Paddy gets in touch. Paddy
Power. Yeah.
He says, good morning
pod wangs.
That's two Celtic names in a robe
here.
I'm starting to worry
that they're
taking over.
These sneaky Celts.
What's the line in
God Save the Queen?
Is it rebellious Celts? Rebellious Scots
to crush.
Rebellious Scots to crush, that's it.
That lovely Uniting song.
Yes. Ellis got to crash, that's it. That lovely Uniting song. Yes, so he says,
a long-time listener here,
in fact, while working my pandemic job,
I consumed so much Bud Pod
that my thoughts would often take the voices
of Bud Pod's fine hosts.
Oh, you lucky thing.
Yeah.
I hope that's dangerous if you're
a front line working in the pandemic
that's right especially given
the fact that neither one of us wants to be a doctor
yes
maybe we've ruined it
thank god he didn't hear this before he started
yeah
so this is back when I was still suffering from taste X
taste X you were yeah of course oh yeah what's happened to taste X This is back when I was still suffering from Taste X. Taste X.
You were, yeah, of course.
Oh, yeah, what's happened to Taste X?
I'm pretty much...
I'm back, baby.
I'm tasting like never before.
Oh, that's great.
As far as I can tell.
I mean, that's the funny thing.
It was gone long enough that maybe it's not back, but I just can't tell.
But if you eat a piece of bacon now, it doesn't taste of petrol.
No, thank God, no.
Well, that's good.
Yeah.
That's good.
That's all back.
So your cells have recovered.
I think so.
I hope so.
He says, anyhow, on hearing of Pierre's urinary development regarding the Taste X scent, I
thought I should write in.
For some time now, my piss has smelled pleasingly meaty and savory.
Wow.
Umami.
Yeah.
He says, as one would expect a good ramen broth to.
There you go.
This is particularly worrying, given I've not eaten meat for 14 years.
You are the meat.
What is urine if not a deeply steeped meat broth?
I mean, it's marinating in bladder.
It is.
It's bladder marinade is It's bladder marinade
It is bladder marinade
Which is a delicious Italian dish
This red wine pairs particularly well with
Or some bucco or even bladder marinade
It's pronounced
thank you
so he says
friends have confirmed the strength of scent
of my beefy excretions so I can't be
imagining or craving
those are good friends
guys come here am I imagining this
he says I've not risked the taste test yet but I'll update when the time comes stinky regards Paddy Guys, come here. Am I imagining this?
He says, I've not risked the taste test yet, but I'll update when the time comes.
Stinky regards, Paddy.
Wow, okay.
So, now, I think Paddy's got off quite lightly there compared to, like, your petrol smell.
I think I'd much rather things smelled delicious than of gasoline.
I think I've solved the question at the heart of Paddy's inquiry.
What is it?
So, he hasn't eaten meat for 14 years,
right? And he's eating all the vegetables and he's a vegetarian and now his piss
smells like beefy and brothy.
Yeah. Well, guess what, Phil?
Cows don't eat meat and they taste of beef too.
You're right. They actually taste more
of beef than anyone else
that's right
he's a cow now
he's a cow, he's turned into beef
how ironic
he spent all those years avoiding beef
and he became the beef
he set out to destroy
that's right, and that's the motivational thing
become the beef you want to destroy
you either die a vegetarian or you live long enough Motivational thing. Become the beef you want to destroy. You either
die a vegetarian
or you live long enough to become
the beef.
I would buy a t-shirt with
become the beef written on it.
Be the beef you want to see in the world.
Yes.
I guess be the beef you don't want to see in the world
in Paddy's case. But seriously, for him
he started eating like a cow and now he
sounds, he's internally becoming as delicious
as one.
He's found a vegan alternative to
beef stock. Yes.
As long as he gives it voluntarily. He makes it.
Paddy's gonna
be rich. If we held him down and made
him piss for us, He wouldn't be vegan anymore
Oh
We had to treat him well enough that
It would still
We'd get like a sticker
That says
We treat our Paddy well
This Paddy piss
Was ethically sourced
Paddy piss makes ethically sourced.
Also, paddy piss makes it sound so racist.
Oh, man, that is what a racist would call Guinness.
We'd have to be like...
Yeah, I'll have a pint of Carlin please none of that paddy piss
if I ordered a Guinness at a pub
and the guy next to me went to
well Carl's done that paddy piss I'd think uh oh
uh oh
I'm in for a rollercoaster
of a chat here
oh man that's so funny paddy piss well he's become the beef I'm in for a rollercoaster of a chat here. Oh, man.
That's so funny.
Paddy Piss.
Yeah.
Well, he's become the beef.
Become the beef.
You have to become the beef.
You must become...
Child, you must become the beef.
Do not eat the beef.
Be the beef.
God, that's good.
Yeah.
That's funny.
So George gets in touch.
Godspeed.
Godspeed, Paddy.
George gets in touch about aphantasia.
Aphantasia?
Yes, we were talking about how people don't have a mind's eye.
Oh, this is why it's called aphantasia.
Yeah, when we were discussing a few months ago How people don't have a mind's eye. Oh, this is what it's called, aphantasia.
Yeah, when we were discussing a few months ago about how some people can't picture things in their head.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.
Yeah, I ironically can't imagine it.
So he says, hey, Phil and Puerh.
Oh, someone's got some prefer preferential treatment there Oh yeah
But who did?
He says
I'm sure you're getting plenty of emails on this topic
But I thought I'd share my experience of not having a mind's eye
And answer a few of Phil's questions
Fascinating
I'm all ears
Firstly, I was just as shocked as you
When I found out that most people could conjure up pictures in their minds
Like Loony Mad Men
Incredible
He says, I thought all that picture this and counting sheep bollocks was metaphorical
Man
That is so weird
Being able to picture things feels so vital to me
I can't imagine
Getting through without it
I just don't really know how you would
Yeah
How do you have a wank even
You know what I mean
I guess remembering someone's face is different
Yeah
Yeah it's strange
And he says
As Pierre mentioned the way I think is basically either in words or abstract thought in terms of faces i can easily recognize people i know
and i can vaguely describe their face but i definitely can't picture it
that is weird that is so weird yeah in terms of phil's questions i really don't think i'm
distracted any less than i would be otherwise i guess rather than daydreaming about a TV show or winning the lottery,
it's more of a podcast or an audiobook winning the lottery.
That's interesting.
Right.
So you are the podcast version of thinking.
Yes.
You have the podcast version of thinking.
However, that might make...
I'd really love to see what jobs
people with aphantasia have, and what
jobs people who have a
mind's eye have, and if there's a lot,
if it's very different.
The thing that brought it to my attention, which we discussed last time,
was that a guy who worked at
a guy who worked at
Pixar discovered he had it, I think.
Right.
And so he thought, well, all of our animators will have a mind's eye
and like loads of them didn't.
That is just weird.
Yeah.
So he says, I normal dream in full visual color,
but I think that's different for different people.
As for the Pixar thing, I'm an engineer myself,
but I've always liked using Minecraft and the like
to create buildings, etc.
Minecraft?
Yeah.
And he says, and once I found out that aphantasia was a thing, I realized I'd used Minecraft to visualize whatever I have in my head.
Man, it's fascinating.
It must make it harder. It must make it harder.
It must make it more difficult.
It sounds like he's doing all right.
I think it's probably fine.
I mean, you don't know any difference.
So harder is a relative concept.
It's true.
It's true!
And he says, if you do have any other questions, feel free to get back to me.
Koji, in your mind.
George.
Thank you, George.
You're really fascinating stuff.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just, I. You're really fascinating stuff. Yeah. It's just
I can't fathom it.
Yeah, that's
crazy. It's so interesting.
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
I wonder if you are more focused.
George says he just thinks about
audio stuff. Yeah, I think
you'd be as distracted, because then it's just like a monologue
of like, and then I'd do this, and then then what if this happened i wonder if you get as addicted to like
tv or video games or things that are visually stimulating if if you don't have if you're not
able to replay them in your mind to get addicted to them do you get you know you know i mean yeah
or maybe you get yeah you either get more or less addicted
because you need it more
or you don't remember it much
so you don't get addicted
because you're like, oh, that thing.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
It's more intangible.
Yes.
Fascinating stuff.
A nice, fascinating end, I think,
to this mega correspondence.
Yes, I think so.
I think so. I think so.
Get in touch, anyone else, with aphantasia
or any other interesting neurological conditions.
Yeah, why not?
Why not?
Let it all out.
Let it all hang out, mentally.
And, yeah, we hope you enjoyed it and we will be back as per normal next week.
We will.
Well, the new normal.
Oh, actually, it's a good point.
While this has been happening, we've done these slightly in advance for reasons that will become clear in a bit.
But pubs have been open and stuff, So I hope you guys have been enjoying it
Gosh, will they be?
Outdoor pubs and shit
It all opens up on the 29th, hanging out outside
Is it?
Oh, I thought it was April
I thought it was mid-April
There's different layers though
Maybe March the 29th is just outside
Ah, okay
If those Bloody Brussels Maybe March the 29th is just outside. Ah, okay, okay.
If those bloody Brussels bureaucrats don't ruin it for us with their bungling.
Actually, it will still be up, 12th of April.
Will still...
It will be 12th of April.
12th of April, outside, 17th of May, inside.
Right, right, right. Yes, yes, yes. And 17th of May inside. Right,
right, right. Yes, yes, yes. And 17th of May
is also Theatre Day. I actually have, I put
it in my account, Theatre Day, May 17th.
Oh, wow.
That's dedication.
Um,
yeah.
Alright. Nice one.
Alright, well, enjoy, guys. Enjoy hanging out with people
outside. Yes yes enjoy all that
outsideness we'll be back
though bye