BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 119 - The Buds Are Back! The Buds Are Back!
Episode Date: June 16, 2021The lads are back in person, no delays! They discuss Sloth Island, Phil's Netflix special, Tommy Cooper, Bruce Forsyth as Dr Manhattan, being pessimistic and therefore never surprised or disappointed,... Forrin Holidays, meats you order, WW2 being unbeatable as a brand and Mao SuitsThe friend of the pod we discuss is Garrett Millerick! His albums including the brilliant "Sunflower" are available via his website here: https://www.garrettmillerick.com/shows-archive/ Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
It's Budpod 119 and we're in person!
119 feeling fine, because we are in a room together once more!
It's COVID safe, it's technically compliant, and we didn't push it back by four weeks.
No, very, very topical stuff there, Pierre.
Yes, the further easing of lockdown, although at this point
it's like, what, not wearing masks and social
distancing, has been pushed
further. Four weeks!
Another four weeks.
Surprising, apparently,
everyone but me. I don't understand.
It got leaked like a
week in advance and they were like,
it's going to be delayed four weeks.
And everyone was like, just not listening, apparently, when they were talking yeah it's gonna be delayed four weeks and everyone was like just not listening apparently when they were like i'll ignore that
and i i don't understand people or the headlines or the newspapers are like
boris has another four weeks can you believe it and i'm i'm just sitting there going i'm amazed
we haven't delayed it so far i'm amazed this is i'm amazed this is only the last step we've had to delay.
And what I want to say is
to everyone who's
shocked or upset
that another four week delay
it's like, how
dare you expect
the best possible outcome
of anything?
Who are these people?
That was the best possible outcome.
And people are annoyed that the best possible outcome hasn't happened.
I don't understand this mindset.
They're looking at a craps table and they go,
well, I expect I'll roll sevens.
And when they don't, they're like, what's going on?
These are supposed to be sevens. Pointing at the croupier, resign!
Resign! I just don't get it obviously like they're the same people
who thought it was an overreaction to do the stuff that would have stopped the delay
uh as in um so that yeah as in restrict travel. Yeah, all that other stuff. I want to go on a foreign holiday.
Foreign holidays.
Nothing is more important to the British public than foreign holidays.
I did not realize how important foreign holidays are.
I had no idea.
It's because we're foreign holidays all the time.
Everywhere we go, we're foreign holidays.
Foreign holidays, of course, was a wonderful singer.
She had the voice of an angel foreign holidays.
Her sister, Billie.
Took a lot of limelight away.
The holidays, the sisters.
But yeah, people, every couple of months,
the news goes to some miserable old bald bastard.
And they're like,
what do you think about the new travel restrictions it's terrible
i booked my holiday five five months ago it's like why are you booking holidays what planet
have you lived on for the last year and a half yeah like they're carefully digging a vegetable
garden at the somme and when some artillery takes it out they mean, honestly, they said it would be over by Christmas.
This is the thing.
I'm amazed how literally some people live.
How literally some people process the information
they're given.
If something says,
you are allowed to book holidays.
Okay, I will book holidays.
And it will happen.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, you are allowed to book.
There's no guarantee that it will happen.
I don't... I mean, fundamentally, this. No, you are allowed to book. There's no guarantee that it'll happen. I don't...
I mean, fundamentally, this is optimism versus pessimism,
and you and I are natural pessimists.
Yes.
So we don't understand optimism.
Do you think they see the world, these people,
as a kind of awful casino that keeps tricking them?
Well, no, because then they would stop taking all these risks.
Well, there's the question, isn't it?
Because they surely must bump against this particular brick wall rather regularly yeah it's it's a it's the difference
in what our memories preserve their memories preserve the times things go well our memories
preserve the times things go badly i think that might be it i mean you and i a friend of the
podcast and and and host of the co-host of the very successful laughable pod garrett millerick ah yes old garrett um good old garrett he yeah
he was chatting to me and um i hear shah when we were in adelaide years ago
and um he we we discovered in the course of this conversation that he has like the most
like perfect negative memory of all of us as in the purest negative yeah yeah yeah he's got he's like um uh what's that uh movie
where the janitor is really smart oh how'd you like them apples yeah um goodwill hunting yeah
yeah he's the goodwill hunting of of being cunted off by people. Or the one where Russell Crowe is writing maths on a window.
Beautiful mind.
There you go.
Yeah, Russell Crowe window maths.
That's him with people being rude to him.
People he doesn't know.
It's not like he remembers the names.
He remembers strangers doing it, like with crystal clear.
For years and years.
Yeah, he's got like a Sherlock Holmes mind palace.
Of guns.
Of guns, yeah.
And it's very funny to talk to him about it.
And he did a routine about it.
He wasn't...
Me and Ahir and him had a very funny conversation
in Adelaide years ago.
A routine came out of it,
which I think is on one of his albums.
So look for up Garrett Millerick, his albums.
Anyway, there's two, Sunflower and...
Anyway, doesn't matter. that's enough promo for him
can't remember the name of the other album i'm sure he'll forgive me or he'll remember it forever
that's the point yes he will he's gonna remember this literally remember it forever um yeah i think
so i mean i just i i it's only in conversations conversations with my girlfriend where I've discovered why, because you and I are freelancers, right?
So our holidays are quite random and quite rare.
Yeah, basically never.
I just, from time to time, if I get work abroad or even in a different town, I go, this is also my holiday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a holiday in the morning and then it's
working i'm having a lovely relaxing time in uh gothenburg sweden despite the fact that i'll have
to make a load of strangers who are listening to me in a second language laugh for over an hour
in seven hours yeah it's not the most relaxing thing but if you work in an office you have to
take like your 21 days or whatever it is a year.
Right.
So if you don't take it and don't take it and don't take it,
it'll all have to cluster right at the end or you lose it.
Yep.
So, okay, I get that you have these days you have to spend.
Yep.
But I'm amazed still at the lust with which people are looking at.
I'm amazed at the surprise.
I'm amazed at the surprise when things don't go to plan.
Yeah, do you think it's because you and I are either from countries
or have parents who grew up in countries where it was genuinely just like,
well, the government said there'd be a road, but that doesn't mean anything.
I think there's an element of that.
There's got to be.
Yeah, I think there is an element of that. Whereas's got to be. Yeah, I think there is an element of that.
Whereas in the UK, government is dad, isn't it?
Yeah, well, institutions are held to account.
They're held to account, but also they actually do stuff.
Like there's an NHS and the post works.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like, what do you mean dad's not here?
Like it's this whole...
The main exception to that is trains, I guess.
When you're like, if trains let people go Just go, well, yeah, of course
But it doesn't really apply elsewhere
Yeah, that is strange
I don't know
Yeah, but I was amazed at all the
You know, you see the thing
The G7 had their meeting in Cornwall
Yeah
And they had a barbecue
This is the one about the climate
That Boris Johnson took a plane to Yeah, yeah, yeah Plane to Cornwall, yeah in cornwall yeah and they had a barbecue this is the one about the climate that boris johnson took
a plane to yeah yeah plane to cornwall yeah i didn't even know you could i didn't even know
you could take a plane to cornwall well they built a whole runway for this one arrival the runway is
made of uranium this is all the worst thing for the environment ever they had a big meeting about
how someday they hope to start to possibly use less coal.
Yes.
Yeah.
Something like that.
A real step forward.
A huge step forward.
And as they said it,
they were very carefully
lighting the coal
for the barbecue.
And also,
incredibly, Pierre,
this G7,
they've said
that they should probably
think about
keeping an eye on China.
I don't know.
This is a real... They've said they're going to try and use less coal and they should keeping an eye on China. I don't know. They've said they're going to try and use S-Col
and they should keep an eye on China.
It's one for the history books, this G7.
It's a level of genius that makes you realize
that this is why these are the people in charge.
They've also said that Russia's getting a bit aggressive.
I mean, how do they figure these things out?
I think that's what they said.
I couldn't hear it over the artillery fire coming from the Ukrainian border.
I think they said that.
Five years ago.
Yeah.
And now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Still going.
Fucking hell.
I just cannot believe every time one of these huge international leader meetings happens.
Yeah.
I'm like, okay, great.
They're going to discuss some new things.
We need to work on climate change.
China's getting a bit uppity.
All right, see you.
See you next time.
It's insane.
It's ridiculous.
They just stand around and go,
having a good G7?
Just to each other in nice areas.
Yeah, so they're having this useless meeting,
or seemingly useless anyway,
but they had this barbecue, right?
But the press were like,
they're not wearing masks.
Oh, yeah.
At the barbecue.
And they're mixing.
Right.
And it's like,
ketchup and barbecue sauce.
Gross.
What is it called? Mary Rose sauce. Oh, yeah... Ketchup and barbecue sauce. Gross. What is it called?
Mary Rose sauce.
Oh, yeah.
Ketchup and mayonnaise.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Delish.
Mary Rose?
Question mark.
Mary, have you done this?
Mary Rose, what have you done to the sauces?
You've tripped and tipped all the mayonnaise into the ketchup jar.
And that's how it was born, yeah.
Mary Rose!
Sorry.
Try it.
But they got a quote from a guy who runs two pubs in Essex.
Oh, yeah.
In one of the articles about outrage because they have masks.
And it's like, they're world leaders.
I hope they're all double jabbed yeah if they're not
that's insane but i mean joe biden is drinking a pint of vaccine every morning
he's joe astrazeneca biden at this point like he's there's so much in him that it's he's part
of the company now yeah exactly so this guy who owns two pubs in Essex
did a tweet which was like,
oh, if this
was a pub, the council
would give them some sort of fine.
But just because it's the G7,
oh, you
carry on. Hashtag
enough is enough.
As if the G7 had had 50 consecutive
barbecues
With hundreds of guests
And it's like
Just because it's the G7 it's fine
And you want to take this guy aside and go
Yeah you get it
Yeah that's basically it
You bang on
Different situation is different
The number of tweets that are
Different situation turned out differently
Different standards have been applied To a are different situation that is turned out differently different standards have been
applied to a completely different situation this is not right and you want to say to him
you know everyone at that barbecue has nukes and like armies or air force uh whole economy
gold mines like you name it these guys are. You are a man who runs two pubs.
And I'm not saying that doesn't make you a person of certain standing.
No, of course not.
In your community.
But the idea of looking at the G7 and going,
well, I see flying a private jet to Cornwall to meet the Prime Minister of Italy is okay for them.
But when I desperately attempt to do it,
it doesn't make any sense.
It's absolutely not analogous,
but they will persist.
I think these people
and the holiday surprise people
are a Venn diagram that is one circle.
Right.
I think they're the same.
There's apparently hands on hips,
bright red face.
It's outrageous.
They just say things like it's outrageous
every now and then something outrageous does happen but these people i think they wake up
outraged yeah i've never understood people who are surprised by bad things that's that's that's
my my main life experience is like why are people surprised
that a bad thing has happened yeah looking quizzically around the room as people clutch
their heads and look around oh these guys didn't expect that yeah i think well maybe yeah well the
trouble is that the we'd be having you know how they say blondes have more fun?
Yeah.
These people have more fun than us.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Definitely.
Yeah.
They walk around credulous as hell.
Although, maybe they don't get the same high we do
if we go to the ice cream van
and they still have the ice cream we want.
Because I suppose we get to go oh a good
thing has happened i thought it'd be sold out so we're starting from a lower base but we do get a
high well food is the only thing i get excited about yeah i think yeah yeah animal based stuff
animal products rat but like rat brain stuff, I mean. Oh, I see.
Food. Food shelter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Food shelter copulation.
Yeah.
Ideally all at once.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You don't want to copulate in the rain
with a chicken drumstick.
You want a roof.
Out in the park in a thunderstorm
eating a big turkey leg and shagging
Like some viking god
Yes it's a triangle
You need all three points of the triangle
Yeah yeah yeah I think so
Was it Laszlo
Laszlo's Pyramids
Hierarchy of Needs
Maslow Maslow it's not Laszlo's Hierarchy of Needs? Is it Laszlo?
Maslow.
Maslow.
Maslow?
It's not Laszlo, because I said Laszlo, and I was wrong,
and I remember that the other day.
What is it?
Hierarchy of Needs.
I think it's Maslow.
I think it's Maslow.
It's a Hungarian name?
Maslow.
I'm Hungarian for some chicken drumsticks right now.
Maslow. I'm Hungarian for some chicken drumsticks right now. Maslow.
I'm Hungarian.
Yes, Maslow.
Yes.
An American psychologist, but where's his name from?
Where's his name from?
Oh, his parents were first-generation Jewish immigrants from Kiev.
Now Kiev, Ukraine. There you go.
Okay, he's Ukrainian.
Knowing where Maslow's name is from is at the top of your hierarchy of names right now.
It's way above shelter.
I'd lose a roof to find out where Maslow's family name is from.
Kiev, Ukraine. Kiev, Ukraine.
Kiev, Ukraine.
Right, yeah.
Delicious.
City stuffed with garlic butter.
Yes, the river is garlic butter.
Right through the center.
Oozing.
Yeah.
And it always leaks.
It always leaks into the suburbs.
Yeah, and they have to try and burn that bit to keep it in.
I think that would be a good, like, I would rather go to a savory Willy Wonka factory.
Yes.
With a garlic butter river filled with drowned fat little German boys.
This is another thing you and I have in common.
We're savory boys.
Savory boys, salt and fat, please, madam.
Salt and fat.
Yeah.
Salt and fat and umami.
Salt, fat, and umami.
Yummy.
I finally figured out how to slow cook lamb.
Okay.
I've been trying.
I haven't had a lot on.
Tell me how.
You're going to get a dish with a lid, boy.
Oh, yeah.
Dish with a lid, seven hours.
Seven hours?
Six or seven hours at the lowest, like 120, 110, like very low.
Are you doing it in wine or in tomatoes?
Yeah, just a bit of stock.
Yeah.
Get a bit of stock in there.
Depends what flavor lamb you want.
I realized, like um do
you have foods that because you never cook them at home they're what you mainly order in restaurants
yeah well i find it very hard to order pasta or pizza in a restaurant now yeah yeah yeah or um
chicken i have it with chicken yeah i make chicken yeah i think you're right yeah yeah
whereas if we're talking beef talking lamb, or something fiddly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Something beyond my skills.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what I go for.
Niche meats.
What's the nichest meat you've had?
I think we've probably had this discussion.
Ooh.
Ah.
I've had weird antelope. Antelope antelope like kudu kudu and stuff yeah i never had crocodile i had the chance to but they
were like oh it's like chicken but it's a bit fishy and i was like no then yeah yeah did i
describe it that way to you maybe it's certainly what i've heard about australia once and it is
like a fishy chicken and it's not particularly nice.
No.
That's why no one ever goes, dice up the tuna and the chicken.
And then, like, it's a bad combo.
Also, like, by this point, we've found the meats that are nice.
If there's a meat out there and it's really good, we found it.
There's not going to be anything left.
And we go, wow.
Fucking orangutans are delicious. good. We found it. There's not going to be anything left. Wow. Fucking
orangutans are delicious.
Because if they were, we'd be
eating them right now. We'd be farming
orangutans. Everyone's eaten everything.
The only thing that was apparently
super delicious that we don't have is
giant tortoises.
Oh yeah.
Big bowl of soup
on legs. They come in a bowl.
They come in a bowl. They want us
to eat them.
Wearing that bowl.
That's victim blaming for a
tortoise. But what was a tortoise
wearing? Was it wearing a bowl?
Well if it was wearing a bowl how can you blame
someone for wanting to eat it? It was wearing two bowls.
It was a crock pot. It was a walking crock pot of delicious meats
It's a walking pressure cooker
Yeah but you're right
I mean no one's ever going to go
We finally tried sloth
And as long as you
Poetically enough slow cook it
Maybe sloth would be like the juiciest meat ever
Because they don't move
It's not going to be gamey,
is it, from ranging the planes?
Very marbled, I imagine. Fat.
A marbled sloth.
Oh!
You can
sear that guy on either side.
Yes!
With those little clacky claws
as you flip it.
Still has the legs on.
You know Little clacky claws as you flip it. Still has the legs on. Do you know that sloth moves so slowly they grow mold on their fur?
They grow like algae and moss.
Moss can grow on their fur.
I can relate to that.
It's mad, isn't it?
Yeah, that's slow, baby.
That is so slow.
When they die, sometimes their hearts just stop, I think.
They also account for something like an extraordinary amount of biomass.
Well, I don't know what this fact is about sloth.
Yeah?
Yeah, but in sloth biomass...
This is the kind of fun podcast we are.
Sloth biomass.
But in sloth biomass.
Sloth?
And there's some Unbelievable Statistic about
The power of sloth
Yeah six reasons why this lazy animal
Is something something
They look
Like stoned twelve year old skateboarding
Kids I think
They've got their little bowl haircut
They mean well though
They're stoners, but they don't
hurt no one. They're fine.
They're like junior hippies.
They're junior hippies.
They've got little claws.
They have claws.
Stomach.
They only eat leaves. Blah, blah, blah.
They have a four-chambered stomach like a cow's.
Wow.
Fair enough.
There's nothing in there about how much biomass they make up in the forest.
Maybe I've dreamt this fact.
I mean, the link had something with biomass in it.
Sticky ribs.
Yeah, you're right.
It sounds delicious.
Sticky sloth ribs.
With biomass on the side.
Can I have a pot of biomass, please?
Do you do sort of tomato,
chopped tomato biomass?
Where's the biomass section?
Oh, it's just in the back.
Sloths consume algae
from their...
Oh my god.
On Barolo, Colorado Island in Panama,
sloths have been estimated to comprise
70% of the biomass of arboreal mammals. This have been estimated to comprise 70% of the biomass
This is the fact I heard
70% of the biomass
But that's on one particular island
In this particular place, yeah
Which is all sloths
Sloth Island
Welcome
To Sloth
Island
Just this big fat sleepy guy we've isolated the geos
you were so busy thinking about whether you might
you you almost did it's not as good, is it? Life will probably find a way.
That's Sloth Island's mutter.
Life will probably find a way.
Slow girl.
They do move slowly.
In, well, not herds, but I can't really see.
I think those are all the Jurassic Park.
I think we got them all.
Yeah.
Apart from various, you know, screams.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Sloth Island.
We've found a way to make humans even lazier and fatter.
Just isolate what makes sloths so lazy.
So sleepy.
That would be a real...
The amazing thing about these... I know we rag on conspiracy theorists all the time
is that whenever they do a conspiracy theory
where it's like they're trying to poison you to make money
and it's like well keep us alive if you want to make money
it's never like you know who makes money?
Coca-Cola
because Coke doesn't kill people
it makes them want more of it
yes
so like getting the DNA from sloths
drink Coke
drink Coke It makes them want more of it. Yes. So, like, getting the DNA from sloths. Drink Coke. Drink Coke.
Getting the DNA.
Drink Coke.
It makes my life better.
And say what you want about it.
It won't kill you.
It won't kill you.
Directly.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It won't kill you.
Father Time will take care of that.
Father Time.
Swans by Coke.
You know, Father Time only has a red saw because he...
Yeah, that's true, yeah.
His giant red clock used to be green.
I love it every year when the Father Time truck goes around the UK
and they just blare all the classics like,
death is coming for you.
Yeah.
Father time's a-coming, father time's a-coming. And they just blare all the classics like, death is coming for you. Father, times are coming.
Father, times are coming.
Better write your will now.
All the kids running.
And as the kids chase the van, they just age into dust.
As they sprint off to the van, they crumble into skeletons.
And everyone goes, time!
Time!
But that would be a good conspiracy where they go these scientists are trying to isolate what makes sloths fat and lazy and putting in humans yeah then we're easier to control then
we're just slowly eating leaves all day yeah that's what they want or whatever well have you
noticed that the the abundance of vegetable delivery boxes has increased in the last few years?
That sloth leaves.
That's creeping sloth.
That is creeping sloth in our cities and towns.
The only way a sloth can move.
That's true.
That's a tautology, a creeping sloth.
Yes, that's a tautology, a creeping sloth.
You imagine a sloth with the way their bodies look,
which is like a sort of pouch with long, clawed, floppy limbs.
Yeah.
Sprinting.
Scary.
Paraclosh.
Maybe like a big hairy spider.
Like 28 Days Later or something.
Horrible.
Yeah.
You saw a sloth sprinting.
I'm thinking about it now.
It's horrible.
Really disgusting image. Big floppy limbs with quite sharp claws at the end sort of swinging like um the way that um
connor connor mcgregor does that horrible strut walk when he's in the ring like rotating his
elbows in circles which is so something about it looks disgusting i can't quite figure out what it
is um but that would be a better conspiracy In this time of ridiculous conspiracies
They're putting sloth genes in the water supply
Yeah, something like that
So we can all grow moss on our bums
And eat that
I booked my second vaccine
Did you?
Second dose, yeah
What month is it in?
August
The most august of months
Mine is in August
Mine's towards the end of August
I'm going to be an 11 week boy
11 week between the two doses
Is it supposed to be 12?
They say between 8 and 12 weeks
Okay you're pretty much bang on then
How are your antibodies feeling?
They're good
They're okay
They're still getting settled
I would love to
Talk to me if they need anything.
Showing them around the place.
I mean, I don't feel a particular difference.
I guess that means they're doing all right.
Yeah, man.
All T-cells.
Well, actually, we should say, speaking of all right.
I don't know.
I can't do a transition.
I just remembered this.
We should say thank you to all the PodBuds who came. I can't do a transition. I just remembered this. Well, we should say thank you
to all the PodBuds
who came to the Palladium.
Yes.
Yes.
The London Palladium.
Thank you for coming
to the London Palladium
on Saturday
to watch my
stand-up
performance.
There you go.
Really appreciate it, you guys.
There were loads.
There were so many of you.
There were loads of you.
And loads of PodBuds in, which was so nice.
Yeah.
Pierre opened the show, which was wonderful.
Yeah, good fun.
Both times, Pierre said, any BudPod listeners in?
And there was a...
And they all seemed to come from the same spot.
It's like they booked the tickets together.
There was some sort of plan.
Well, on the second show, they had a couple of boxes even.
And then there was a kind of smattering in the stalls and then a couple up there.
Oh, okay.
So they were spread out.
But it was like a kind of belt.
Yes.
A belt of Podbuds.
Yeah.
But it was great.
What fun.
It was good.
It was good.
It was man being in that huge historic room.
Very historic.
Like a wedding cake it was, stacked up.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
London's glittering West End.
And we were reminded a couple of days beforehand
where Bruce Forsythe's ashes are.
Yes, under the stage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's there.
Big chinned ghost.
Famously difficult man. What is he? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's there. Big chinned ghost. Famously difficult man.
What is he?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, famously, yeah.
Well, I don't think...
It's hard to be in entertainment that long
and not end up quite difficult.
He, um...
When you are literally...
He must have felt, by the end of it,
fucking indestructible.
Do you think he's like Superman and we should have been grateful for him,
but also grateful that he wasn't willing to abuse the full extent of his power?
Yeah.
Fear and respect.
It's like when they say about Superman or Dr. Manhattan in the comic books,
God exists and he's American.
And the relief with which they say that
is a similar thing with Bruce Forsythe.
God exists and he's British.
People kneeling in front of him.
What would be the equivalent?
Dr. Manhattan helping in Watch equivalent Like Dr. Manhattan
Helping in Watchmen
Dr. Manhattan helping Nixon win Vietnam
It would be Bruce Forsyth
Striding across the Falklands
Glowing blue
Smashing Argentinian planes
Nice to see you
Yeah
Grabbing the cannons on the destroyers
and just bending them with one hand.
Going, higher.
Higher or lower.
Tap dancing on the airfield, smashing it to bits.
El chin grande.
All the Argentinians
The big chin
El Chin Grande
Senior Forsyth
Running
Sprinting
Lasers coming out of his eyes
Also the theatre where Tommy Cooper died
His last performance
Where he died doing doing his set
and everyone kept laughing thinking it was part of the show yeah i didn't realize which i found out
they continued the show did they yeah they could they they they pulled they they pulled old um
tommy away and apparently the i think the the closer was a magician or something yeah and
and a couple of the you don't want to be that guy
well they they ran up to his dressing room was like hey john how's it going oh wow a lovely
crowd out there because behind him through the window they were just carting off tommy cooper's
body into a oh my god into a van jesus christ someone sent like i don't know a runner up saying
distract john the magician and they ran out hey wow's a lovely day we're having in there.
Right behind him,
just Tommy Cooper being wheeled off.
Oh my God.
But it's amazing that they continue with the show.
I mean, that is some pre-90s shit.
That is some old school showbiz.
Yeah.
Where it's like,
well, I know that you've just been shot, but...
People have got their tickets.
People want one-liners.
Yeah.
So do it then.
Yeah.
God.
I heard that they tried to bring the curtain down on the whole thing,
but the way that the curtain dropped, his legs were just poking out.
That's right, yeah.
And everyone thought it was like...
Because that is funny.
That is funny.
And everyone went, oh, definitely a joke then.
As his legs twitched.
Yeah.
Ugh.
I mean, how fucking old was he late 70s right like yeah it
wasn't see tommy cooper it wasn't forsyth old i don't think he wasn't forsyth old but who among
us will ever be forsyth old um bruce forsyth was so old that he was born literally before sliced bread.
Tommy Cooper.
And coming from, you know, abroad,
can I just say, an absolutely terrifying looking man.
Tommy Cooper, yes.
He was quite scary. Every British celebrity.
All those British celebrities are fucking terrifying.
British celebrities from before the 80s
all look like street caricatures of themselves
Yeah, massive heads, insane features
Chins, noses, ears, eyes
All boggling, stretching
No subtlety in their smiles
It's like someone's gone
Smile to the physical limits
Of what your face and muscles will do
Do you think it's because TVs were lower resolution?
And they were literally like,
we need someone with a big face.
I think what it was is coming out of theater traditions
where you had to be big at all times.
Huge.
Just massive.
Because people just wouldn't see you otherwise.
63, not that old.
Gosh, 63.
Yeah, not that old, eh?
If only he had the foresight to live longer.
The foresight.
That's why Bruce Forsyth lived so long, because he had such foresight.
It's in his name.
Yeah.
His parents were Thomas H. Cooper, a Welsh recruiting sergeant in the British Army, and then coal miner.
Whoa.
Bloody hell.
Yeah.
Oh, that's rough.
Oh. Hey, Tommy Cooper was in the Desert Rats in North Africa.
What are the Desert Rats?
Desert Rats, Montgomery against Rommel.
Oh, wow.
So he fought.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, so he served in the army for seven years,
but then he was in the NAFI entertainment party.
So he did magic tricks in the war as well.
And that's
where he got his fez. One evening in Cairo, during
a sketch where he was supposed to be in a costume that needed a
pith helmet, he forgot the prop,
so he reached out and borrowed a fez from a passing waiter,
which got huge laughs.
He wore the fez when performing after that.
God, that must have been... You know what?
People have a lot of negative things to say
about the Second World War, but that sounds bloody
brilliant.
The North Africa stuff Actually looks pretty bloody brilliant
There you go
Like the Morocco Casablanca stuff looks fucking sweet
It's just like
Drinking and Humphrey Bogart
And lovely suits
The occasional battle
But it wasn't like
It doesn't look like fucking devastating
You were either blown to bits
Or you were having champagne.
There was no prolonged suffering.
You do see a lot less of it.
There's some amazing footage I remember seeing from a documentary
of a night artillery barrage in the desert on German and Italian lines.
So it's like the desert at night being lit up intermittently,
like strobe lighting beautiful
by these huge guns
while
I think the Blackwatch
but certainly the Highlanders
march across perfectly flat
you know like music video flat desert
yeah
with their kilts and bagpipes going
in the night
in the desert
with these
like lightning
so insane
just towards the
amazing really amazing when you see kilts in the desert you're like the world is strange like lightning. So insane. Just, just towards the, amazing,
really amazing.
When you see kilts in the desert,
you're like,
the world is strange.
The North Africa campaign
was where the South African
tank regiments were.
Uh-huh.
And they went through North Africa
and then up through Sicily
into Italy.
That's,
that's the other bit
of Second World War
that looks really fun.
You know those bits
where soldiers are just sat on a tank
because it rolls calmly through a village?
That looks brilliant.
That looks so fun.
And they're just having a cigarette on top of the tank
and they're just in their white singlets.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they're throwing candy bars at grateful villagers.
I love that.
They get given an apple by a woman in a headscarf.
Oh, so nice.
And all the buildings are vines.
That's the war experience I would have wanted.
I wanted to be sat on a tank rolling through the Italian countryside.
That scene, otherwise known as the bit before everything goes wrong
in the single-player mission of the World War II video game you're playing
or movie you are watching.
Yeah, Captain Crowley's Mandolin.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's in uh fury as well i think it happens and like saving private ride it's in all
on the tank rolling hey mcnulty you got any more damn cigarettes left there's always some shit like
that and they go and they make some joke yeah you keep smoking you're gonna turn into a cigarette
yeah it's maybe a sniper shot on mcnal Yeah. Pings off the tank and they all jump off.
It writes itself at a certain point.
Oh, yeah.
I mean, you and I have probably watched and played so much World War II stuff
we could just go on autopilot and write something right now.
Just say a kind of melange of all the stuff we've seen
and people will go,
like we're in a hypnotic state in a Hollywood business meeting room
and just lying on a chair looking at nothing.
Our eyes just roll up.
And then the tank gets hit by a missile.
Yes, yes, go on, yes, with a notepad.
Guy from EA.
The planes fly overhead and everyone's cheering.
Yes, of course, of course, of course.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
I love some World War II stuff. It's the thing we're most exposed to do you think it'll ever not be
it's just such a good war the enemies had skulls on their heads like in the mitchell and webb sketch
i mean narratively speaking you couldn't have asked for a better war than the second world war
yeah a definite end the villain shot himself in his head in a bunker. Clear villain.
Clear bad guys.
Definitive
costume differences. The enemy's in grey,
we're in green. Yes.
The Russians are brown.
The cavalry of the Americans
joining the fight.
The moments of doubt.
Dunkirk.
The great sacrifices made for the final victory.
It's all there.
Yeah.
It's all there.
The escape Nazi.
So possible sequel in South America.
Yeah, they're out there.
They're still out there.
So there's a franchise.
There's a universe to explore.
You saw a member of the franchise on the tube.
I did. I saw a Nazi on the franchise on the tube I did, I saw it on the tube
Of course, yeah
Part of that immersive extended universe
World War II is working on
That's right
I think Disney Plus have rights
It's like Secret Cinema
There's Nazis everywhere
Wow
It's real
It's like it's real.
There's a Korean War.
It's still going.
It's not even over.
Yeah.
Very unsatisfying.
None of the crazy villains in funny uniforms died.
They just made friends with China.
Yeah.
And it just kind of went, oh, it sort of fizzled out.
Yeah, I just kind of forget about it.
I mean, bits of it were insane.
Human wave attacks by china on like fortified
military positions and things like crazy stuff happened but that's not enough to stick it in
our heads after we've all had second world war you need to you need to land the ending
you do have to you do have to land the ending that's's right. Yeah. So I think we're going to be talking about World War II until...
World War III.
Until World War III.
Yeah, that's fair.
All that will end it will be the next step, this next step up.
Yeah.
And it's annoying because now all military uniforms are the same color.
Really boring.
And the craziest villains just wear suits like everyone else.
Really boring.
It's like what's happened to WWE
There used to be characters and costumes
Now it's all just
The same looking guy in some black trunks
Yeah
Yeah
Whereas now you just see
They're trying to kind of restart it a bit
With Kim Jong Un
And his sinister black kind of
What do you call that?
Yeah, what do you call that?
Smock?
Communist kind of jacket, kind of...
Kind of colourless smock thing.
What is that?
Yeah, but you also could be an elevator attendant.
Yeah, you could work in a very expensive...
You look like a bellhop, but like an evil one.
Evil bellhop, I guess, is
how I would describe Kim Jong-un's wardrobe.
Evil maitre d'
of a rare
sushi restaurant.
Evil guy who
welcomes you near the kind of
screens, the decorative screens
at the front of the restaurant.
Yeah, that's it. That's the one.
Kim Jong-un's jacket. Do you think we can buy some? We can have some have some i'm sure i'm sure if you go down to a costume shop it'll be
what would the name be nuclear asian
that's something conservative um the conservatives have been concerned about the decline of the
nuclear asian that's Asian in recent decades.
That's what people said.
The left hate the nuclear Asian.
Ironically, they don't. They really don't.
They hate the nuclear Asian.
Nuclear Asian.
Fat famine man. I can find a version of it on Fat Famine Man
I can find a version of it on Smithies
It's called Dictator Costume
Grey with trousers and jacket
But no help there with the name of what it is
It's called Dictator Costume
Dictator Costume
I like there's a Maid Marian costume
But it's just called Medieval Maid
And it's like well that's not what it is.
Robin of the Hood costume.
Why have they gone...
Also, yeah, those are not under copyright.
You can say Robin Hood.
You can say Robin Hood.
That's the weird thing. No one owns the name
Maid Marian. I don't think
the Robin Hood estate is going to come down on you.
Yeah, well, if they did, they'd have to take the money
and give it back.
Very good, very good. You know they're going to come down on you. Yeah, well, if they did, they'd have to take the money and give it back. Very good, very good.
You know they're going to a good place, yes.
What clothes do they wear in North Korea?
The hanbok is a traditional dress.
The hanbok?
What is that?
Oh, no, it's like a girl's traditional dress.
There's weird clothes that countries wear once a year where they do a dance.
They've banned jeans you know what's creepiest about north korea is that the the distinction between it and south
korea and how they're obviously the same people yeah but are completely different because of this
ideology and the madness and the totalitarian state and it's just so creepy to be
able to see what a difference in life standard and just mental health and just sanity yeah is just
all human made so much is artificial yeah yeah it's not something inherent at all you and it's
like a perfect experiment for that yeah it's fucking mad well the fact that like apparently in the south one of the ways you can tell if someone's north
korean or they like watch out for like north korean spies or something is because the korean
they speak is that hasn't changed very much well like it's oh ye olde korean well it's like it's
from the it's from the world war ii oh wow so they're walking around going like, gee whiz, fella.
And it's like, oh, that's so creepy.
Yeah, man.
And then obviously it's evolved on a different tangent.
Like they're at Fallout.
Like they've just been in a bunker for 50 years.
That's it, yeah.
Like some colonial English is a bit like that.
That's creepy.
So weird.
Right, let's see.
Long black jacket.
Yeah, everyone just sort of calls it jackets or like Mao suits.
It's called a Mao suit. Yeah, Mao suit sort of calls it jackets or like Mao suits. It's called a Mao suit.
Yeah, Mao suit sounds about right.
Oh, there you go. Okay.
Mao suit.
He rocked a Mao suit, old Mao.
Fashion history, Mao suit.
Yeah, I mean...
Everyone just seems fairly...
Its precise origins are hard to pin down.
There you go.
In the early years of the 20th century,
as an alternative to the long gown
and the western suit with collar and tie,
several different styles began to be worn by Chinese men.
So it's called like a student suit.
But it's also a bit Stalin-esque.
Where did that communist design come from for jackets,
for those button-up kind of tight jackets?
Well, they're very similar.
It's like a worker kind of thing, right?
It's a worker thing, and it's very similar to military kit as well,
where they were like,
well, these guys are going to be rolling around in the woods,
but there's no reason not to have a collar and loads of buttons,
because they just couldn't fucking let go of that.
Yeah.
His outrageous outfits.
Kim Jong-un's outrageous.
He's got a pinstripe Mao jacket. Now, that is a weird mashup. What outrageous he's got a pinstripe mao jacket
now that is a weird mashup what's more corporate than a pinstripe yeah
north korea north korea i mean like they have a famine now i think apparently that's apparently
it's going to be bad it's going to be almost as bad as the 90s i think north korea yeah
they've had a lot of typhoons and stuff and um they can't ever really ask for aid not publicly so they also don't want help
certainly not public help i think i think in a few decades time like the the world's kind of
apathy towards the people of north korea will be a great point of shame i think so but then it's
it's always that thing of just no one having a clue what's going on in there
how do you infiltrate a country where it's like
South Koreans couldn't infiltrate it
but I think there'll be a point
in a couple of decades when we find out
how the North Koreans have been living
oh yeah
there's that guy who's like a sergeant in their border guard force
which is quite an elite force
and he's a sergeant in it
so you'd expect him to have a pretty good life because their are like food and rations and like how you live is all just
based on what you do in society like for the government and he escaped south korea and he
got shot loads of times but he survived but they pumped his stomach and it was full of like
husk corn husks and stuff like he was eating like the stuff you'd eat if you were lost in the woods.
Not good stuff.
He had like 26 tapeworms.
Yeah.
So many tapeworms he had.
Oh my god.
Yeah, these people are not well.
Do you think if they get unwell enough,
South Korea would just invade?
You're all sick.
But then you don't need to be very sick
to set up a nuke, do you?
That's the thing.
It's just while they've got the nukes
they're not going to transit, are they?
You can see why other countries want nukes.
They look at North Korea and they're like,
you let him do it.
Well, it's not the same, Billy.
He has nukes.
And they just see the amount of fucking around
that North Korea gets away with
and they're just like,
I want some of that.
I want some of that juice. I want some of that juice.
I want some of that juice.
Who wouldn't?
Who wouldn't?
Who wouldn't want a nuke?
If Budpod had a nuke, forget it.
We'd be top of the charts.
Beer 52 would be the least of our sponsors.
Top of the charts.
We expect to be the most well-reviewed podcast on iTunes.
You have 24 hours.
Yeah, America and the UK have to come together
for the Bud Pod nuclear deal.
How do we step back the purification of uranium at PS Flat?
We have to send inspectors to your bathroom bathroom they have to de-escalate
because Budpard claimed for years that we were just
enriching uranium for peaceful purposes
trying to set up servers to host
all our content
power the electricity
yeah
for years we said we were enriching uranium
For our tat factories
Yeah, how to power tat factories
How to industrialize Budpod
It's one of the last podcasts to industrialize
And it's just not fair
To hold it to a different standard
Oh man, well we'll work on that everyone don't tell the un don't tell them how long have we
been talking for i've just realized that we're pretty much done wow because normally i'm looking
straight at my my computer screen and it's got the clock right there but now i'm now i'm
freewheeling i'm falling bungeeless through time no idea where where I am. I cover the time counter and stuff at the gym.
You cover it.
I don't like to see...
There's nothing worse than when you're absolutely exhausted on a machine.
Yeah.
And you just see these seconds oozing by so slowly.
Yeah, it's a good tip.
Just cover it.
Bring a piece of tape.
Thanks again to everyone who came to the London Palladium.
Yep. Good to see you guys.
Really appreciate it. It's lovely to have you in there. I hope you had a nice time.
Yeah. Thanks for coming, guys. And thanks for downloading.
Much love. See you next time.
See you next time. Code you guys. Bye.