BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 133 - Gargoyle Pod

Episode Date: October 13, 2021

The boys (Wang, Novellie) chat gargoyles, bins, power rangers and the influence of OJ Simpson on our childhood Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Si vous faites vos achats tout en travaillant, en mangeant ou même en écoutant ce balado, alors vous connaissez et aimez l'excitation du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal? Les membres de Rakuten, eux, oui. Ils magasinent les marques qu'ils aiment et font d'importantes économies, en plus des remises en argent. Et vous pouvez aussi commencer à gagner des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés, comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia, et même cumuler les ventes et les remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia. Et même cumulez les ventes et les remises en argent.
Starting point is 00:00:31 C'est facile à utiliser et vous obtenez vos remises par PayPal ou par chèque. L'idée est simple. Les magasins paient Rakuten pour leur envoyer des gens magasinés. Et Rakuten partage l'argent avec vous sous forme de remise. Téléchargez l'application gratuite Rakuten et ne manquez jamais un bon deal. Ou allez sur rakuten.ca pour en avoir plus pour votre argent. C'est R-A-K-U-T-E-pee. Just one pee-pee, please. Bum pee-pee. That's what I feel like when I go into a public restroom where you have to put in a coin to enter the turnstiles, like in a train station or something.
Starting point is 00:01:14 I feel like saying, one pee-pee, please. And you put in the coin and you buy a pee-pee. Do you think that those are gone now because of COVID? Or because of just general... I feel like yeah, I feel like... Because King's Cross is free. Is it free? Yeah. The toilets. The one I'm thinking of is Paddington.
Starting point is 00:01:34 I haven't tried the toilet there for a while. Free, free toilets. Pooping for free. Pooping like God intended. Pooping for me. Pooping for free. Pooping like God intended.
Starting point is 00:01:44 Pooping for me. Pushing out my back-ended. Nice. Distended. Distended. Pushing out brown distended. Yeah, that's good. Pooping for free. Poo free, as free as the wind blows.
Starting point is 00:02:12 I think maybe it's gone, because I don't remember the last time I had to fumble for, like, a 20 pence piece to try and have a 20p. Oh, it's absolute torture. It's like something from Squid Game, having to find the correct chains when you have explosive diarrhea grumbling in your in your colon yeah and you're and you don't want to miss a train yeah squid train have you
Starting point is 00:02:38 have you have you watched any of squid game um me and uh the lady were going to start yesterday but we were too tired for gore yeah interesting interesting yeah like gore is not something you sort of sit back and relax with a it's yeah you sort of go ah like like a hot bath as you watch people get dismembered somehow. Yeah, it's gory. It's violent. Yeah. Yeah. I have watched a bit of... I think it's called Invincible, the cartoon.
Starting point is 00:03:16 What's Invincible? It's like a grown-up... It reminds me a lot of Watchmen, actually. Oh, yeah. It's a cartoon. Yeah, it's an animated adult animated series like it's it can be very very gory oh great what's it on um prime i think prime prime prime time optimus prime yeah i'd love to watch a gory cartoon it's it's good man it's it's very strong
Starting point is 00:03:47 sort of watchmen vibes um adult swim vibes it reminds me yeah it reminds me of of of metalocalypse if anyone listening has ever seen that and watchmen metalocalypse yeah wow it's a old adult swim series bit of venture brothers vibe to it there's so many great grown-up cartoons out there they're so funny um especially venture brothers if people haven't seen venture brothers it's excellent at least i remember it being excellent i haven't seen it in a long time did you ever watch johnny quest when you were young oh gosh i remember johnny quest yeah so adventure brothers is like a grown-up like like an adult like funny and fairly violent
Starting point is 00:04:35 johnny quest the most adult cartoon i grew up with was gargoyles yeah i mentioned that on this podcast? Oh yeah, gargoyles. Gargoyles are so serious and brooding. I remember it was very mournful. Even as a child I was like, I can't believe this is a cartoon. It's so sad and dark. It's like, aren't they like the gargoyles of Macbeth's castle or something? It's really grown up and gothic. And I remember they were very like, you can never be happy. You are a gargoyle.
Starting point is 00:05:14 Yeah. At the end of every one, the main gargoyle, he just goes back on his perch and he turns into stone. Like sad that he can never have a happy life. Yes, you're right. I've looked it up. sad that he can never have a happy life. Yes, you're right. I've looked it up. After spending a thousand years in an enchanted petrified state, the gargoyles who've been transported from medieval
Starting point is 00:05:34 Scotland are reawakened in mud-daked New York City. New York City. Gosh, that's it. I mean, it's a brilliant concept. It'd be a great graphic novel series. Maybe it was.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Also, I mean, the elephant in the room is they aren't gargoyles. They're grotesques. Yes, yeah. None of them are vomiting water. That's exactly it. I mean, this is like... Yeah, this is... The pedant's favourite masonry fact
Starting point is 00:06:10 is that unless water is gurgling, i.e. gargoyling through its mouth, it is not a gargoyle. It's a grotesque. Yeah. Do you think that's where we get gargling from? I thought it was the other
Starting point is 00:06:26 way around. I thought gargoyle was from gargling. Make a face and a noise like a gargoyle. Well, it's just onomatopoeic, isn't it? Gargle. Yeah, it is. Gargle, gargle. I found the opening narration of Goliath,
Starting point is 00:06:42 the main gargoyle, the head one. Goliath, right, yeah, yeah, yeah. So it starts pretty, you know, like, good but not crazy yet, right? So it says, 1,000 years ago. Okay, so that's actually the period I studied at university. Yeah. 1,000 years ago, superstition and the sword ruled.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Right, that's pretty good. Yes. Oh, superstition and the sword ruled that's pretty good superstition and the sword yeah for a given definition of superstition it was a time of darkness well yeah kind of it was a world of fear yes that's fair
Starting point is 00:07:21 it was the age of gargoyles hmm well you've slipped that in yes that's fair okay it was the age of gargoyles hmm well you've slipped that in there excuse me it was the age of gargoyles hang on a minute that's when my head shoots up in the lecture what what of Gargoyles. Hang on a minute. That's when my head shoots up in the lecture.
Starting point is 00:07:46 What? That's so funny. A thousand years ago, superstition and the sword ruled. It was a time of darkness. It was a world of fear. It was the age of Gargoyles Does it continue beyond that? Yeah, yeah, yeah Stone by day, warriors by night
Starting point is 00:08:12 We were betrayed by the humans We had sworn to protect Frozen in stone by a magic spell For a thousand years Now, here in Manhattan The spell is broken How? Okay, whatever Now, here in Manhattan... Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. The spell is broken. How? Okay, whatever.
Starting point is 00:08:29 And we live again. We are defenders of the night. We are gargoyles. Great. I mean, it's stirring stuff if you overlook the whole age of gargoyles thing. Also, if they're stoned by day and warriors by night, you know how I would
Starting point is 00:08:45 defeat that army? Attacking the day. We can't defeat these almighty gargoyles. They're the perfect soldier. They can fly. They rip you to shreds. They're completely inanimate for half of the day. Sorry, what? They're completely
Starting point is 00:09:03 inanimate for half the stone during the time? They're completely inanimate for half the stone during the time of day. Oh but is the time of day where visibility is lowest? No it's the time of day where we can see most clearly. Right so maybe attack then? Maybe attack then when you can see
Starting point is 00:09:20 and when your enemy is immobile. I'm going to have to take this to... I'll workshop this and get back to you. I'll pitch it. I'll pitch it. But I don't think they're going to like it. The best enemy for never finishing either way
Starting point is 00:09:43 would be vampires then, wouldn't it? That's right yeah both be like oh if only we could be awake when the other guy's not awake if only we could be awake when they're just lying in a coffin and when leaving going outside will literally kill them straight away. How do we defeat these almighty beings? Isn't it funny that vampires are immortal but they still need to sleep? That's true. What's their argument?
Starting point is 00:10:17 Well, I have to sleep or I'll, you know, still be alive. I'll have to sleep or I guess I'd just be tired. They'd make mistakes. They'd make vampire mistakes. They'd make mistakes they'd make vampire mistakes they make mistakes they're shot to memory shot they get cranky yeah you don't want that yeah but it's interesting it's like so your so metabolism and biology is so different to us that you can live forever but similar enough that every 24 hours you need eight hours rest yeah and yeah the exact exact in fact no 16 hours rest on average right oh right because it's the
Starting point is 00:10:57 full all daylight i guess it depends where like you know if it's if they're in the arctic or whatever it's it's well it averages out at 16 and 8 doesn't it? 16 of day, 8 of night averaged over the whole year, is that right? well I guess in the Arctic half of the year they're awake non-stop and then they sleep for the other half they have to hibernate basically
Starting point is 00:11:17 Arctic vampires are like Arctic vampires there's the Cartoon Network show I'm going to pitch that would be good in the far lands of the frozen north a thousand years ago yes the Arctic it is the land
Starting point is 00:11:33 of fear a land of superstition and the sword and a land of vampires hmm hmm it's a land of snow yep it's a land of ice correct it's a land of of pure daylight and pure darkness it is the land of vampires sorry yeah that's my cartoon that's my serious cartoon that would be i think that's good and you could say that like um you could say that maybe dracula uh
Starting point is 00:12:14 because you know dracula sent himself on a ship to to the uk it crashed at whitby oh sorry i've got someone buzzed ringing the bell Just give me a sec. Go, go, go. This is live. Phil being rung... Having his bell rung, listeners. But what's it going to be? I'm going to say Amazon delivery. Let's find out. Hello?
Starting point is 00:12:40 Oh, yeah. You have to tell the listener it is an Amazon delivery. got it i knew it was a bezos it was a bezos i'm gonna keep it in it's gonzo i like it what did you order they can't hear what you're saying i'm really i'm relaying it what did you order a bin that's like a riddle phil like uh you've ordered a bin and the second you get the bin the first thing that goes in the bin is the packaging of the bin that's nice i like that a lot Phil's away from his microphone listeners by the way that's what that's about
Starting point is 00:13:30 he's walking back up I liked hearing, I don't think the listeners heard but you entered a sort of code which I quite liked a code beep beep beep oh no I I quite liked a code beep beep beep oh no I didn't enter a code it's just the gate that lets you
Starting point is 00:13:53 into the house it's got like a little screen thing where people buzz in and so you can actually look at their face and you can press a button to say hello and you press a button to open the gate for them. Yes, I have had a bin delivered, everyone.
Starting point is 00:14:10 And yeah, it's the only thing you can be delivered where you unpack it and then put what was on the outside into it. Yes, exactly. It's the only delivery that swallows itself. Is there anything else that you immediately sort of inverted like that um socks yeah maybe um what kind of bin was it i want to know what what's
Starting point is 00:14:38 your taste in bins well this you know i've been thinking about bins for a long time it's it's it's one of those like like sneaky big commitments like you don't think about a bin as like you think it's not something you can just buy but when you stop thinking about it's like this is going to be like a fundamental feature of my home yes it's a it's something that I'm going to interact with every day, many times a day. And so you want to get it right. So I was thinking, this bin, because this is my first time living in my own space and it's up to me
Starting point is 00:15:18 how I furnish the place and how I manage the space. And I wanted a bin that's both, is this good radio? I wanted a bin that was both... Is this good radio? I wanted a bin that was both good for the rubbish and somewhere I can put the recycling. But I don't have much lateral space. And all the bins
Starting point is 00:15:34 I was looking at were really fat and wide, but quite low. So they're taking up all the space on the ground, but I'm still having to bend over to put it in. So this is a bin that has the bins on top of each other. This is a bin, long and thin. This is a can,
Starting point is 00:15:55 tall as a man. It is not wide. Climb inside. Climb inside. In two parts it comes. For old cans and old buns. Very nice. Both perishable and not.
Starting point is 00:16:21 We'll find their place in these boxes. Also, Phil, take careful note of how many litres it is because you do what I do and you go to the shops and then you try and buy bin bags and they're like, do you want a 12 litre or a 5 litre? And you go, I don't know how many bin litres I have. It's 30 litres each, baby. Damn!
Starting point is 00:16:42 30L times 2, 60L total. Hmm. I think 30L times 2, 60L total. Hmm. I think 30L is the standard, but then no bags come in 30L. It's like the bin bag industry, which in the vernacular of this podcast just means like a bad industry, but here the literal...
Starting point is 00:16:58 Yes. That's a bin bag industry, but this is literally the bin bag industry. But they don't seem to communicate with the bin industry, because it's like neither has told the other this is how big bins are. If this was a Tim Burton film, it would be because the head of the bin industry and the head of the bin bag industry are rival brothers who don't speak. For 50 years.
Starting point is 00:17:25 And they live in mansions on tall spindly hills that look at each other. It was the age of fear. Of mansions and hills. It was the age of bins. What brand? I want to see the Amazon reviews of this bin, Phil. What brand of bin?
Starting point is 00:17:51 It's a Joseph and Joseph. it is two brothers you know that oh my gosh it is how did i yes of course but then they're they're both making the bin though maybe one will have maybe one left to to make the bag it's because it's like a joseph and his Technicolor bin bag. He got jealous of how colourful his bin bag was. So this is the name of a bin. It's the Joseph and Joseph Totem Max. So it's stacked as a totem, which if I was a native Canadian,
Starting point is 00:18:24 I would find quite insulting. Yeah. To use. Yeah, your sacred bin. My sacred... I mean, they're basically gravestones. They're basically eulogies, right? A totem.
Starting point is 00:18:42 They're there to mark the death of a significant member of the society but it's also how we in england describe bins that go on on top of the other i'm looking at this bin listeners and it is like a space age bin where it's on top of itself and it's kind of it's it's a you know what phil i didn't never thought i'd say this it's kind of... You know what, Phil? I never thought I'd say this. It's a hell of a bin. Thank you. I think it's quite a handsome bin. It is a handsome bin. Which is a funny...
Starting point is 00:19:11 That's a good way, Phil, to neg a man. You're a handsome bin. Well, you're a handsome bin of a fella. Well, aren't you a handsome bin of a man? He'll definitely sleep with you then. Also, I'm pretty sure that I've just looked this up and it's, for some reason,
Starting point is 00:19:34 suddenly £40 cheaper than it was when I bought it two days ago. You have been Joseph and Josephed. I've been Josephed, baby. You've been Josephed, baby. Tell your friends. that's what the guy says the the the top of bin cover here um the the cover that goes on top of the refuse the rubbish the the gross rubbish the wet the wet garbage there's like a filter in it to filter out the
Starting point is 00:20:00 smell and it's like remember to replace the filter every three months and i'm just like go fuck yourself it's one it's one it's one filter until i die i hope that filter is a strong one because it's staying there forever remember to replace the stink layer every time you i've already stopped reading have you ever had a sensor bin? Now there's a false economy It's a bad idea Have you had one of these fancy bins where you wave your hand over it And it goes zup
Starting point is 00:20:31 What? Like a Jedi bin? Yeah, Jedi bin It's one of those ideas That on paper sounds really cool But in practice it's so fucking stupid Because we had it in the flat for a while And at first it's like zup Wow, I don't the flat for a while and at first I was like, wow I don't have to touch the bin, cool
Starting point is 00:20:47 yeah, I'm keeping my hands clean and then eventually after two weeks it goes and it's not got enough power to open the lid and you have to replace the batteries but guess where the battery compartment is, Pierre? It's inside the bin
Starting point is 00:21:03 and it's a compartment with the grooves is, Pierre. It's under the bin. It's inside the bin. And it's a compartment with the grooves and little gaps so that it can collect all the gunk that has been evaporating upwards through the bin. And it can just seep into this lovely cavity that seems almost designed
Starting point is 00:21:21 to trap gunk and smell and moisture. And you have to take out the batteries and it's disgusting it's horrible the bat and so now i'm foot pedal all the way foot pedal foot pedal the the batteries for the cleaning robot are located in the anus of this dog that's that's so that's exactly the sort of stupid fucking decision also like batteries i mean like you're just smashing your way through double a so that you don't have to touch your bin even though none of this is necessary yeah i know phil although now i've just realized yeah i don't know how actually this top of this bin opens and i don't it isn't actually a pedal bin god fucking damn it oh there's some i'm reading the reviews and some of the reviews are quite annoyed about the lid release.
Starting point is 00:22:08 Oh, crap. Loads of the reviews are very pleased, Phil, but I have bad news. There is one very bad review in German and it's all the worse for being in German. I've no idea what it means, but it sounds so much worse in German. Well, I'll be taking this bin for a spin later today and i'll let you know
Starting point is 00:22:26 what i think well taking it for a bin spin i'm afraid phil that someone called gsl says that the bin is absolute what is kauf i don't know what any of it means but whatever it is phil that for this guy or girl for this hair or frow uh this bin was absolute Für dieses Herr oder Frau. Dieses Kabel war absoluter Verkauf. Vorher so ein Türes Produkt ist der Verschluss. Hoffnungsmechanismus, ein Witz.
Starting point is 00:23:00 Das klingt ziemlich schlecht, Phil. Das klingt schlecht. Am Anfang hat der Deckel sich noch auf Knopfdruck geöffnet. God, shit, that doesn't sound good. Nach drei Monate liede es schon nicht mehr. That sounds terrible. Das Produkt wird also reklamiert. Phil, the product is also reklamiert.
Starting point is 00:23:21 What have I done? You've bought an absolute Phil Kauf. That's what have i done you've bought a you've bought an absolute of felkauf that's what you've done oh god i've never the brothers joseph have had me again i think i think the de bruders joseph might be more accurate the bruders joseph that's like a question from shooting stars is there anything more german than reviewing a bin online but thank god for them i mean these people are all weirdos they're kind of people that you know will review a coat hanger but you need them when you when you're looking for coat hangers you're so glad they're there.
Starting point is 00:24:05 Yeah, this is the thing, isn't it? It's hard to have a view either way on these guys because they are like a kind of... Well, they're a bit like... They're the hero we need right now, aren't they, when we're looking at these products? Yeah, exactly. Not the heroes we wanted,
Starting point is 00:24:27 and not the heroes we'll value, but the heroes we need. du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal? Les membres de Rakuten, eux, oui. Ils magasinent les marques qu'ils aiment et font d'importantes économies, en plus des remises en argent. Et vous pouvez aussi commencer à gagner des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia, et même cumuler les ventes et les remises en argent. C'est facile à utiliser et vous obtenez vos remises par PayPal ou par chèque. L'idée est simple. Les magasins paient Rakuten pour leur envoyer des gens magasinés. Et Rakuten partage l'argent avec vous sous forme de remise.
Starting point is 00:25:12 Téléchargez l'application gratuite Rakuten et ne manquez jamais un bon deal. Ou allez sur rakuten.ca pour en avoir plus pour votre argent. C'est R-A-K-U-T-E-N. I'm looking up one of the primary villains of Gargoyles. I'm still on the Gargoyles. Okay, Phil, here's a good game. How many... Wow, okay.
Starting point is 00:25:39 I thought it would be different to that. How many episodes of Gargoyles do you think there were? So they're half an hour each yeah yeah um i'm going to say 80 78 whoa wow nice one the gargoyle whisperer well done Phil yeah 78 episodes of the fucking gargoyles yeah that's a lot eh
Starting point is 00:26:15 what can that possibly be right yeah that seems like a lot of gargoyle action the main villain is a guy called one of the main villains david zanatos wow okay okay i feel like some some of the villains that they're like in were they did they survive from medieval scotland like through some magic there's a couple of other magic stuff yeah Magic lads and lasses.
Starting point is 00:26:46 But he is the founder, owner and CEO of Xanatos Enterprises and a member of the Illuminati. There you go. Wow. They had like full blown Illuminati shit in there. There's too many. If I had to do notes on this I'd be like how many layers are there of this?
Starting point is 00:27:03 Yeah. I feel like the gargoyles thing alone is enough to have to explain without going into the illuminati yeah it's um i think i yeah i'm i'm already busy trying to figure out how gargoyles work before you start to go okay also everything else is real as well as well. I wouldn't... Yeah, I would feel like I had enough on my plate with gargoyles.
Starting point is 00:27:34 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So he's got this... There's this whole thing of Xanatos. There's like seven paragraphs about him trying to... His quest is for immortality, Phil. As I'm sure you could have guessed and it's all about him making a deal with puck the son of the god of the forest oberon um oh so it's like shakespearean shit yeah yeah because it's like yeah it takes draws a lot from shakespeare i guess because i think you know there's macbeth and stuff yeah and he's um he's
Starting point is 00:28:03 he's buying the castle in from scotland and moving it to new york and doing all this and he's getting a rogue freelance geneticist to make clones and and then it goes on and on and then at the end of this at the end of this fifth paragraph of this incredibly over complicated origin story here's the final sentence during this time he also discovered the existence of the Illuminati and became a member
Starting point is 00:28:29 that would be such a funny that's such a funny like final line you know in like a feel good 80s movie where at the end there's a freeze frame
Starting point is 00:28:42 on all the characters and a bit of writing that tells you what they did next like Animal House yeah yeah yeah he eventually discovered the illuminati and became a member would be such a funny such a funny final note yeah and it's for a really like it's for one of the one of the least interesting characters oh yeah he's at the end a bit goofy and like yeah yeah the final frame is him just all smiling benignly yeah he's at the end a bit goofy and like yeah yeah the final frame is him just all smiling benignly yeah he's he discovered illuminati and became a member and it just moves on straight
Starting point is 00:29:11 to a guy who's like he's now the head of a chain of carpet stores hang on could you no no no we've got to get through them all now the illuminati was as far as I know was real but only for about 30 years or something do you know much about the Illuminati it was a real society of I think intellectuals
Starting point is 00:29:37 but I think they weren't particularly powerful and they were only around for a couple of decades yes they okay I guess that's what they want you to think. Well, I was going to say, it'd be funny... What do you know about the Illuminati? Nothing, Philip. Nothing. Nothing.
Starting point is 00:29:58 I think we must know a few people who believe in the Illuminati. But no, you're right. It seems to have been a late 1700s Bavarian science club that's it yeah yeah bavarian science delicious delicious the only smoked science and the only science that where all the all the uh little test tubes and things are just full of wheat beer. Yeah, and the coats, the lab coats are lab ledohosen. They're white and barely cut as ledohosen.
Starting point is 00:30:38 Yeah, it's all made from science lab coat material, but they all look like yodlers. Yeah, exactly. from science lab coat material but they all look like yodlers yeah exactly they announced their discoveries through like a big uh alpine horn have you ever been to bavaria phil no much as my much as the pity I'd love to I just want to eat sausages and drink beer In like a valley In an old town
Starting point is 00:31:10 In a beer keller Yeah Chatting up Frows And with pleats In their hair If you show up And they all start going
Starting point is 00:31:24 You just hear like Joseph and Joseph and their hair. If you show up and they all start going, you just hear like, Joseph and Joseph. And pointing at you, they go, oh no, they know. I fell for it. No, I'm the laughing stock of the town. They know about Joseph and Joseph. They know about the absolute
Starting point is 00:31:43 of Elkow. Elkow. I, um... I think something like Gargoyles or DuckTales or all these cartoons that you just... DuckTales! DuckTales.
Starting point is 00:32:01 DuckTales! DuckTales! I can't remember. There's a lot of things you can go Um DuckTales Isn't that it? Oh well done, yeah Well I can't remember my pin code sometimes
Starting point is 00:32:20 But I've got that in there Yep I've got DuckTales forever. That's a brain that can prioritise. Isn't it funny how as a kid, we must have sat in front of gargoyles, absolutely fucking baffled.
Starting point is 00:32:38 For hours. Yeah. So difficult. So dense. So impenetrable. yeah yeah so difficult so dense so impenetrable well i always i have a lot of respect for those show commissioners who who will not condescend to children who are like nope kids will understand these hour-long dramas about gargoyles and the illuminati that take heavily from shakespearean canon it's well this is the thing is that i guess there's a commissioner who thinks highly of children yeah or does not give a fuck what they think
Starting point is 00:33:25 either way yeah there's someone who's passed who was passed on for numerous hbo pitches and was like fine i'll do it as a cartoon well this is it i think i've been told by people who've written for kids tv and have tried to write kids tv shows that in some ways kids tv is some of the hardest stuff to write because if you remove all the complexity actually it gets harder because you go well what then then what are the reasons for anything happening yeah yeah yeah so yeah to maintain someone's interest but also make it accessible and understandable one and make sense for the writers because then otherwise it gets to the point where reality falls to bits. Where you go, oh, well, then he turns into a duck.
Starting point is 00:34:08 I don't know. You know, it's just... Well, that's something that Adventure Time seems able to do. Yeah. Adventure Time is like, it's a law unto itself. But it's so good and so funny. And they don't explain. They don't bother explaining why anything is anything.
Starting point is 00:34:24 It just is. That's true, actually. and it's all the funnier for it so they just go this is a sort of screaming lemon man and you go okay yeah and jake the dog can just become very huge and he can become small and that's it he's stretchy yeah he's a stretchy dog and you need to get on board with that i think i think that i think the lesson here phil is that in the face of in the face of children right with fiction it's just about absolutely refusing to apologize or explain yeah it's the same it's the same rule that governs adulthood don't explain don't apologize that's right. And actually, maybe can you talk about
Starting point is 00:35:08 listeners Phil? Phil has been sleeping with another podcast. Yeah, I didn't want you to find out like this, but I said I didn't want you to hear it from anyone else. Which one are we talking about?
Starting point is 00:35:26 Oh which one? No Richard Herring Oh yes I was on the Richard Herring Leicester Square Theatre podcast Last night I think the episode will be out next month sometime In November
Starting point is 00:35:38 Keep an ear out for that Did you get to ask him about Coolest Uncool Or if he'd ever shit himself anything like that no no i was i was beholden to his format i'm afraid so we we he asked me his emergency questions uh one of which was very good i mean they're all good, but the one I remember is would you rather know how you're going to die or know what happens to you
Starting point is 00:36:09 right after you die? Oh. Right after you die, like you're already dead. Yeah. Would you rather know how you die or how would you would you rather know how you die or what happens to you right after you die?
Starting point is 00:36:25 What would be the use of the second one? Yeah. I mean, I went for the second one because I want to know... Because the way I interpreted it was like you would know what your legacy was when you died, after you died, and what people thought about you and did with, you know... I guess... I guess literally it's about what they do to to your body but i sort of saw it in a in a broader sense i suppose like i wouldn't want to know how i die because that's horrible yeah
Starting point is 00:36:49 i suppose slightly sneakily you can use how what happens after you die to figure out how you died that's true gosh i missed that because if they say you say you say ah you only know what happened after you died and then it's like well once they'd scraped you off the train tracks, you go, aha. Well, I just go, la, la, la, la, la. Every time it appeared to me that someone's about to discuss how I died, I just go, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Not listening. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 00:37:21 oh my god oh my god um the second season of Gargoyles Phil was highly affected by the highly publicized trial of OJ Simpson what? how? how?
Starting point is 00:37:34 it was a time of OJ Simpson it was a time of Gargoyles how? did they try and say that he was a gargoyle? that was his first defense, actually. He said, O.J. Simpson said, look, I couldn't have done it. It was daytime and I was a statue.
Starting point is 00:37:59 I just saw the wiki link for Trial of O.J. Simpson in the Gargoyles wiki page. Secondly, as the second season aired, the highly publicized Trial of O.J. Simpson in the Gargoyles wiki page. Secondly, as the second season aired, the highly publicized Trial of O.J. Simpson drew audiences away from Gargoyles, often due to preemption from the trial's coverage. What? What? So there were Gargoyle spoilers during the Trial of O.J. Simpson. Was he filibustering by saying, I've heard in the next episode Goliath gets stabbed in the arm and everyone's going oh come on man
Starting point is 00:38:30 we were going to watch that. And you say I will reveal a spoiler a day of Gargoyles. Until I am acquitted. Until my demands are met. By the time the trial was over Mighty Morphin Power Rangers Had become more powerful as a brand
Starting point is 00:38:47 No way Maybe it's because it was always on Saturday mornings Wait so was Gargoyle Even popular at all Before the trial of Virgil Simpson Was it actually doing quite well Yeah apparently according to whatever absolute sociopath Wrote this paragraph
Starting point is 00:39:03 Yeah you can't fight Power Rangers Not if you're frozen for according to whatever absolute sociopath wrote this paragraph. Yeah, you can't fight Power Rangers. Not if you're frozen for when they're awake. Did you get Power Rangers? Yes, a lot of Power Rangers in my childhood, the first bit of it in Johannesburg. Very heavily Power Rangers focused, actually. Yeah. I mean, South Africa must have been the only place where Power Rangers focused actually yeah I mean South Africa must have been
Starting point is 00:39:26 the only place where Power Rangers was played where the Power Rangers were less armed than the kids watching them yeah where the Power Rangers in South Africa were like a kind of noteworthy for their pacifist attitude
Starting point is 00:39:43 did you like a kind of noteworthy for their pacifist attitude. Did you decide which one you were? Which Power Ranger you were? Did you choose one? Oh, my favourite colour was green, so I always wanted to just be the green anything. Oh, yeah. Your favourite colour was green. When I was a kid, yeah.
Starting point is 00:40:01 What's it now? Blue. I don't know. I don't really have one now. What's yours now versus I don't know I don't really have one now what's yours now versus when you were a kid when I was a kid I liked blue
Starting point is 00:40:12 a lot and now I sort of I went I went I strayed off for a bit I went sort of yellow and red and black I loved black as a kid and then but now I'm coming back to blue and like deep blues and some dark greens and stuff for sure you've said most of the colors there to be fair and i and i also like white and indigo i've had i've uh a real love for um but when i was a
Starting point is 00:40:41 kid because me and all my cousins always play play together and because there's so many of us one of us could be a Power Ranger each and together we'd make up the Power Rangers so we'd get up we'd get together and play and like we'd be the Power Rangers
Starting point is 00:40:52 so it matched up and yeah yeah yeah was there one girl and I went yeah oh great yeah there was
Starting point is 00:41:01 yeah I think there were two girls. There was the yellow Power Ranger and... Yeah, the yellow Power Ranger and the pink Power Ranger were girls. Of course, yellow and pink. That's right. Yeah. And we had two girls.
Starting point is 00:41:14 But I want... I remember when the... Because the green Power Ranger was... Oh, wait, no, no, no. The white Power Ranger was a new addition. He was a bad guy. Was he bad? Or did he turn bad?
Starting point is 00:41:25 No, he started bad And then he turned good And I think he became gold? Yeah I think the White Power Ranger became gold Oh no, the Green Ranger turned white Oh, the Green No, no, you're right
Starting point is 00:41:41 The Green Ranger turned white That's right Oh no, the Green wasn't bad I think he was right. The Green Ranger turned white. That's right. I think he was bad. He was bad as green. He was bad as green and then became white. Oh, did I even comprehend that? Also, very funny to say, the White Power Ranger. There was a guy at uni who did stand-up. He did a great bit about it.
Starting point is 00:42:04 What was his name oh he was really good at stand-up a guy who we knew he didn't do it after yeah yeah he did all the college gigs and stuff wait this rings a bell and he had a bit about the power rangers and um didn't he have that bit about the Simpsons as well? Yeah, that's right He did a lot of bits about kids shows And the Power Rangers bit Was like how it ingrained These racial
Starting point is 00:42:33 Hierarchies, or not Racial stereotyping into kids From such an early age And gender stereotypes The pink Power Ranger was a girl The black Power Ranger was black The yellow Power Ranger was Asian gender stereotypes the pink power ranger was a girl the black power ranger was blank the the yellow power ranger was asian and the white power ranger was the leader and it's such a good bit it's so good him he oh he was he was a uh he was blonde and he he did law
Starting point is 00:42:59 yes right that's right that's right oh fuck he was fuck he was good he was good there were a bunch of people at uni who were like wow you're really good they just they were these sort of and I mean amateur
Starting point is 00:43:14 in the nicest way like they were like they were gentlemen tinkerers yes they had their degree they were quite focused
Starting point is 00:43:22 on what they did but twice a term they'd come up with five minutes of stand-up. It was really, really good. And then they'd perform it, and then they'd go back to their jobs, and they'd finish uni, and they became journalists or whatever. That guy's a barrister, I think. Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:43:38 But that makes sense with stand-up skills, doesn't it? That makes sense because barristers are sort of... Yeah, exactly. Goddamn. This is going to bug me for a thousand years now I think Jamie sorry I missed that
Starting point is 00:43:49 Jamie that's it it's going to bug me for a thousand years I said but what I meant was one second it was Jamie shout out to Jamie if he's listening god damn yeah that's some good sign up fucking hell um yeah maybe what do you think would have happened
Starting point is 00:44:10 if we'd been happy with tinkering and then just not doing it for uh our entire lives forever yeah i can't imagine it i can't imagine it i saw envy the ability to just sort of dip into something be good at it, enjoy it, and then move on. Yeah, to not really give a shit. That's the sort of, like, it's quite an advanced, like, it would be impressive to see someone do it with, say, music, wouldn't it? Yeah, yeah, and I think impossible, because to get good at music, you just have to commit.
Starting point is 00:44:44 Comedy, from time to time, someone will drop in and they'll just be good straight away. But you can't instinctively know how to play the oboe. Speak for yourself, Phil. For God's sake. Don't drag me into your mediocrity. And you just start a solo instinctive oboe is one of the best players
Starting point is 00:45:12 that's the name of your debut and only jazz oboe album yeah and it's like black and blue on the front it's just you wailing on this oboe and it's just called piano valley distinctive instinctive and it's just you like gleaming back with his oboe just really ripping it it's done it's done in that style where it's like it's a it's a it's like a very limited three-color print. Yeah, exactly. Exactly, yeah. Black bottom layer.
Starting point is 00:45:49 Yeah, all different shades of blue and black. Yeah, black bottom layer, then medium blue, and then the oboe is in gold. Shiny. Oh, man. I wish I could play the oboe now so i could release that album because i can see the cover out of my head so clearly yeah it looks so good it looks so good in my head instinctive oboe by piano valley instinctive oboe and then you know people it would be like uh you know'd have to be very lucky to see him at Ronnie Scott's, you know?
Starting point is 00:46:30 Yeah. He only drops in once every five, six years. I mean, he doesn't even call ahead. Yeah, you just have to be lucky. You just have to be lucky. It's a good little book. Oh, fuck really i might go watch gargoyles now yeah yeah yeah i wonder if it's one of those old classics that was actually you know we'll find some new following now i think um gargoyles i think the strength of our uh one of the well one of the strengths of our friendship phil and is is that because both
Starting point is 00:47:05 of us are are international uh citizens of nowhere as theresa may call this yeah um we can we we are one of the few people that the other can be nostalgic with with any degree of accuracy yeah that's true that's true because we didn't because yeah i don't you know we can't do it i don't know who decides what shows get to go to South Africa and Malaysia, but there is a lot of crossover. I think you'll find it's one David Xanatos. Yeah, man, it's one weird guy who has shaped this full sensibility with his baffling baffling choices um yeah yeah i mean that and that's
Starting point is 00:47:52 i think we i think we do well among the third culture kids the international kids crowd we get a lot of you guys listening yeah yeah totally people who went to schools named after nationalities that they are not for example yes like the American school of Paris exactly and being neither French nor American yeah maybe that's our niche
Starting point is 00:48:18 maybe that's our niche the whole UN vibe the number one downloaded podcast in the United Nations. Yeah, that's what they're actually all listening to. You know when there's footage of the UN and everyone's got their earpieces in? That's not the translators. They're listening to Bud Pod.
Starting point is 00:48:37 And when they're looking really serious, it's because they're listening to that bit where the woman shits her own pussy. Oh, by the way, I finished the nuremberg series on radio 4 and i recommend it to everyone it's so good okay there's so much interesting stuff no spoilers huh sorry no spoilers yeah maybe they get out who knows um and this i didn't realize how many firsts the nuremberg trial was oh Oh, yeah? I mean, it was the first time, like, genocide was basically defined in those terms. First time wars against humanity was even considered as a possibility. And also the first time that the... Well, I guess the first time a kind of international court was convened. And it was the first time that people had those earpieces in at like a convention
Starting point is 00:49:25 it was the first time they had live interpretation live translation, that's right yeah, and at first the judges were like we can't have headphones on all the time we look like telegram girls like moon men
Starting point is 00:49:41 and it was just like this mad dash. They had to have so many interpreters because they had to have like English to German, German to English, German to French, French to English. And they had like 36 interpreters on at once. It was crazy. I mean, it's astonishing. It's all on BBC, isn't it?
Starting point is 00:49:59 Yeah, it's all on BBC Sounds, Nuremberg. You would hear this on the BBC? Yeah, for once, this is You would hear this on the BBC? Yeah, for once, this is something you would hear on the BBC. That's right. What you won't hear on the BBC is they are completely unwilling. The MSM don't want to hear
Starting point is 00:50:18 about David Xanatos and the Illuminati. You know what you won't hear on the BBC? Anything about the Age of gargoyles. They're conspicuously silent about the age of gargoyles. I don't recall hearing a start the week about the age of gargoyles. Interesting, isn't it? You stop Nick Robinson in the street and ask about gargoyles, and he doesn't even say anything.
Starting point is 00:50:43 He just looks confused and frightened and runs away. He gives you a rushed he rushes a hurried response about not having the time and runs and dashes off quickens his pace nervously. Every BBC employee
Starting point is 00:51:00 I ask about gargoyles doesn't seem to have a clue what I'm asking them about. You go up to the BBC and say, I'm here about gargoyles, and they'll just pull down a shutter, like a bank that's going bust. Ignorance
Starting point is 00:51:16 or something much worse. What are they keeping from us? Gargoyles, I bet. Xanatos has got to them. Xanatos has got to them, and that's why it's illegal to sneak onto the roof of the BBC's offices and take photographs, because that's where the gargoyles are. And not for any other reason
Starting point is 00:51:40 would it be illegal to do that. Alright, well, I genuinely might go watch a YouTube clip of the intro to remind myself of that extraordinary monologue I'm going to do the same what are you going to do after that Phil are you going to unwrap your bins and bin your bin bag bins I'm going to unwrap my bins
Starting point is 00:51:59 and see if it is truly Al-Khattafan what was it? Al-Khattafan hopefully it's not Al Cutthoff and what was it? Absoluta Felcalf Absoluta Felcalf hopefully it's not Felcalf at all and then we're going to see a friend's baby
Starting point is 00:52:12 ooh baby visit very nice I you know what I'm going to do Phil I'm going to watch the Guy Girls thing I'm going to go for a bloody walk
Starting point is 00:52:23 wow where are you going to walk to? I'm going to walk and Phil? I'm going to watch the Gargoyles thing and I'm going to go for a bloody walk. Wow. Where are you going to walk to? I'm going to walk... And where are you going to walk from? I'm going to crawl until I'm going to start my walk. Because you've got to walk before you can crawl. You've got to crawl before you can walk.
Starting point is 00:52:39 And it's good for the core. And if you're a Gargoyle, you've got to be a stone for a thousand years before you can walk. That's right. After you're betrayed by the very humans you swore to be a stone for a thousand years before you can walk. That's right. After you're betrayed by the very humans you swore to protect. I mean, God knows what that's about. Tell me that, Sanatos.
Starting point is 00:52:57 Anyway, have a good week, listeners, and we will see you next week. See you, guys. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye. Si vous faites vos achats tout en travaillant, en mangeant ou même en écoutant ce balado, alors vous connaissez et aimez l'excitation du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal?
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