BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 133 - Gargoyle Pod
Episode Date: October 13, 2021The boys (Wang, Novellie) chat gargoyles, bins, power rangers and the influence of OJ Simpson on our childhood Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia, et même cumuler les ventes et les remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia.
Et même cumulez les ventes et les remises en argent.
C'est facile à utiliser et vous obtenez vos remises par PayPal ou par chèque.
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plus pour votre argent. C'est
R-A-K-U-T-E-pee. Just one pee-pee, please. Bum pee-pee. That's what I feel like when I go into a public restroom
where you have to put in a coin to enter the turnstiles,
like in a train station or something.
I feel like saying, one pee-pee, please.
And you put in the coin and you buy a pee-pee.
Do you think that those are gone now because of COVID?
Or because of just general...
I feel like yeah, I feel
like... Because King's Cross is free.
Is it free? Yeah.
The toilets. The one I'm thinking of is Paddington.
I haven't tried the toilet there for a while.
Free, free toilets.
Pooping
for free. Pooping
like God intended. Pooping for
me.
Pooping for free.
Pooping like God intended.
Pooping for me.
Pushing out my back-ended.
Nice.
Distended. Distended.
Pushing out brown distended.
Yeah, that's good.
Pooping for free.
Poo free, as free as the wind blows.
I think maybe it's gone,
because I don't remember the last time
I had to fumble for, like, a 20 pence piece
to try and have a 20p.
Oh, it's absolute torture.
It's like something from Squid Game,
having to find the correct chains when you have explosive diarrhea grumbling in your
in your colon yeah and you're and you don't want to miss a train yeah squid train have you
have you have you watched any of squid game um me and uh the lady were going to start yesterday but we were too
tired for gore yeah interesting interesting yeah like gore is not something you sort of sit back
and relax with a it's yeah you sort of go ah like like a hot bath as you watch people get dismembered somehow. Yeah, it's gory.
It's violent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have watched a bit of...
I think it's called Invincible, the cartoon.
What's Invincible?
It's like a grown-up...
It reminds me a lot of Watchmen, actually.
Oh, yeah.
It's a cartoon.
Yeah, it's an animated adult animated
series like it's it can be very very gory oh great what's it on um prime i think prime prime
prime time optimus prime yeah i'd love to watch a gory cartoon it's it's good man it's it's very strong
sort of watchmen vibes um adult swim vibes it reminds me yeah it reminds me of of of metalocalypse
if anyone listening has ever seen that and watchmen metalocalypse yeah wow it's a old adult
swim series bit of venture brothers vibe to it
there's so many great grown-up cartoons out there they're so funny
um especially venture brothers if people haven't seen venture brothers it's excellent
at least i remember it being excellent i haven't seen it in a long time
did you ever watch johnny quest when you were young oh gosh i remember johnny quest
yeah so adventure brothers is like a grown-up like like an adult like funny and fairly violent
johnny quest the most adult cartoon i grew up with was gargoyles yeah i mentioned that on this podcast? Oh yeah, gargoyles. Gargoyles are so serious and brooding.
I remember it was very mournful.
Even as a child I was like, I can't believe this is a cartoon.
It's so sad and dark.
It's like, aren't they like the gargoyles of Macbeth's castle or something?
It's really grown up and gothic.
And I remember they were very like, you can never be happy.
You are a gargoyle.
Yeah.
At the end of every one, the main gargoyle, he just goes back on his perch and he turns into stone.
Like sad that he can never have a happy life.
Yes, you're right. I've looked it up. sad that he can never have a happy life.
Yes, you're right. I've looked it up.
After spending a thousand years in an enchanted
petrified state, the gargoyles
who've been transported from medieval
Scotland
are reawakened
in mud-daked New York City.
New York City.
Gosh, that's it.
I mean, it's a brilliant concept.
It'd be a great graphic novel series.
Maybe it was.
Also, I mean, the elephant in the room is they aren't gargoyles.
They're grotesques.
Yes, yeah.
None of them are vomiting water.
That's exactly it.
I mean, this is like...
Yeah, this is...
The pedant's favourite masonry fact
is
that unless water is
gurgling, i.e.
gargoyling through its mouth,
it is not a gargoyle. It's a
grotesque. Yeah. Do you think that's
where we get gargling from?
I thought it was the other
way around. I thought gargoyle
was from gargling. Make a face and a noise
like a gargoyle.
Well, it's just onomatopoeic,
isn't it? Gargle.
Yeah, it is. Gargle, gargle.
I found the
opening narration of Goliath,
the main
gargoyle, the head one.
Goliath, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So it starts pretty, you know, like, good but not crazy yet, right?
So it says, 1,000 years ago.
Okay, so that's actually the period I studied at university.
Yeah.
1,000 years ago, superstition and the sword ruled.
Right, that's pretty good. Yes. Oh, superstition and the sword ruled that's pretty good superstition and the sword
yeah
for a given definition of superstition
it was a time of darkness
well yeah
kind of
it was a world of fear
yes that's fair
it was the age of gargoyles
hmm well you've slipped that in yes that's fair okay it was the age of gargoyles hmm
well you've slipped that in there
excuse me
it was the age of gargoyles
hang on a minute
that's when my head shoots up in the lecture
what what of Gargoyles. Hang on a minute. That's when my head shoots up in the lecture.
What?
That's so funny.
A thousand years ago,
superstition and the sword ruled.
It was a time of darkness. It was a world of fear.
It was the age of Gargoyles Does it continue beyond that?
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Stone by day, warriors by night
We were betrayed by the humans
We had sworn to protect
Frozen in stone by a magic spell
For a thousand years
Now, here in Manhattan
The spell is broken How? Okay, whatever Now, here in Manhattan... Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.
The spell is broken.
How? Okay, whatever.
And we live again.
We are defenders of the night.
We are gargoyles.
Great.
I mean, it's stirring stuff
if you overlook the whole age of gargoyles thing.
Also, if they're stoned by day and warriors by night,
you know how I would
defeat that army? Attacking the day.
We can't
defeat these almighty
gargoyles. They're the perfect
soldier. They can fly. They
rip you to shreds. They're completely
inanimate for half of the day.
Sorry, what? They're completely
inanimate for half the stone during the time? They're completely inanimate for half the stone
during the time of day. Oh but
is the time of day where visibility is lowest?
No it's the time of day where
we can see most clearly.
Right so
maybe attack then?
Maybe attack then when you can see
and when your enemy is immobile.
I'm going to have to
take this to...
I'll workshop this and get back to you.
I'll pitch it.
I'll pitch it.
But I don't think they're going to like it.
The best enemy for never finishing either way
would be vampires then, wouldn't it?
That's right yeah both be like oh if only we could be awake when the other guy's not awake
if only we could be awake when they're just lying in a coffin and when
leaving going outside will literally kill them straight away. How do we defeat these almighty beings?
Isn't it funny that vampires are immortal
but they still need to sleep?
That's true.
What's their argument?
Well, I have to sleep or I'll, you know, still be alive.
I'll have to sleep or I guess I'd just be tired.
They'd make mistakes.
They'd make vampire mistakes. They'd make mistakes they'd make vampire mistakes
they make mistakes they're shot to memory shot they get cranky yeah you don't want that
yeah but it's interesting it's like so your so metabolism and biology is so different to us that
you can live forever but similar enough that every 24 hours you need eight hours rest
yeah and yeah the exact exact in fact no 16 hours rest on average right oh right because it's the
full all daylight i guess it depends where like you know if it's if they're in the arctic or
whatever it's it's well it averages out at 16 and 8
doesn't it? 16 of day, 8 of night
averaged over the whole year, is that right?
well I guess in the Arctic
half of the year they're awake non-stop
and then they sleep for the other half
they have to hibernate basically
Arctic vampires are like
Arctic vampires
there's the Cartoon Network show I'm going to pitch
that would be good
in the far lands of the frozen north
a thousand years ago
yes
the Arctic it is the land
of fear
a land of superstition and the sword
and a land of vampires
hmm
hmm
it's a land of snow yep it's a land of ice correct it's a land of of pure
daylight and pure darkness it is the land of vampires sorry yeah that's my cartoon that's my serious cartoon that would be
i think that's good and you could say that like um you could say that maybe dracula uh
because you know dracula sent himself on a ship to to the uk it crashed at whitby
oh sorry i've got someone buzzed ringing the bell Just give me a sec. Go, go, go. This is live.
Phil being rung...
Having his bell rung, listeners.
But what's it going to be?
I'm going to say Amazon delivery.
Let's find out.
Hello?
Oh, yeah.
You have to tell the listener it is an Amazon delivery. got it i knew it was a bezos it was a bezos i'm gonna keep it in it's gonzo i like it
what did you order they can't hear what you're saying i'm really i'm relaying it what did you
order a bin that's like a riddle phil like uh you've ordered a bin and the second you get the
bin the first thing that goes in the bin is the packaging of the bin
that's nice i like that a lot
Phil's away from his microphone listeners by the way
that's what that's about
he's walking back up
I liked hearing, I don't think the listeners heard
but you entered a sort of code which I quite liked
a code beep beep beep oh no I I quite liked a code
beep beep beep
oh no I didn't enter a code
it's just
the gate that lets you
into the house
it's got like a little screen
thing where people buzz in and so you can actually
look at their face and you can
press a button to say hello and you
press a button to open the gate for them.
Yes, I have had a bin
delivered, everyone.
And yeah, it's the only
thing you can be delivered where you unpack it
and then put what was on the outside
into it.
Yes, exactly.
It's the only delivery that swallows itself.
Is there anything else that you immediately sort of
inverted like that um socks yeah maybe um what kind of bin was it i want to know what what's
your taste in bins well this you know i've been thinking about bins for a long time it's it's it's one of those
like like sneaky big commitments like you don't think about a bin as like you think it's not
something you can just buy but when you stop thinking about it's like this is going to be
like a fundamental feature of my home yes it's a it's something that I'm going to interact with every day, many times a day.
And so you want to get it right.
So I was thinking,
this bin, because this is my first time
living in my own space and it's up to me
how I furnish the place and how I manage
the space.
And
I wanted a bin that's both, is this good radio? I wanted a bin that was both... Is this good radio?
I wanted a bin that was both
good for the rubbish and somewhere I can put the recycling.
But I don't have much lateral space.
And all the bins
I was looking at were really fat and wide, but quite
low. So they're taking up all the space
on the ground,
but I'm still having to bend over to put it in.
So this is a bin
that has the bins on top of each other.
This is a bin, long and thin.
This is a can,
tall as a man.
It is not wide.
Climb inside.
Climb inside.
In two parts it comes.
For old cans and old buns.
Very nice.
Both perishable and not.
We'll find their place in these boxes.
Also, Phil, take careful note of how many litres it is
because you do what I do and you go to the shops
and then you try and buy bin bags and they're like,
do you want a 12 litre or a 5 litre?
And you go, I don't know how many bin litres I have.
It's 30 litres each, baby.
Damn!
30L times 2, 60L total.
Hmm. I think 30L times 2, 60L total. Hmm.
I think 30L is the standard,
but then no bags come in 30L.
It's like the bin bag industry,
which in the vernacular of this podcast
just means like a bad industry,
but here the literal...
Yes.
That's a bin bag industry,
but this is literally the bin bag industry.
But they don't seem to communicate with the bin industry,
because it's like neither has told the other this is how big bins are.
If this was a Tim Burton film, it would be because the head of the bin industry
and the head of the bin bag industry are rival brothers who don't speak.
For 50 years.
And they live in mansions on tall spindly hills
that look at each other.
It was the age of
fear. Of mansions
and hills. It was the
age of bins.
What brand? I want to see the Amazon
reviews of this bin, Phil. What brand of bin?
It's a Joseph and Joseph. it is two brothers you know that oh my gosh it is how did i yes of course but then they're they're both making the bin though
maybe one will have maybe one left to to make the bag it's because it's like a
joseph and his Technicolor bin bag.
He got jealous of how colourful his bin bag was.
So this is the name of a bin.
It's the Joseph and Joseph Totem Max.
So it's stacked as a totem,
which if I was a native Canadian,
I would find quite insulting.
Yeah.
To use.
Yeah, your sacred bin.
My sacred...
I mean, they're basically gravestones.
They're basically eulogies, right?
A totem.
They're there to mark the death of a significant member of
the society but it's also how we in england describe bins that go on on top of the other
i'm looking at this bin listeners and it is like a space age bin where it's on top of itself and
it's kind of it's it's a you know what phil i didn't never thought i'd say this it's kind of... You know what, Phil? I never thought I'd say this. It's a hell of a bin.
Thank you.
I think it's quite a handsome bin.
It is a handsome bin.
Which is a funny...
That's a good way, Phil,
to neg a man.
You're a handsome bin.
Well, you're a handsome bin of a fella.
Well, aren't you a handsome bin of a man?
He'll definitely sleep with you then.
Also, I'm pretty sure that I've just looked this
up and it's, for some reason,
suddenly £40
cheaper than it was when I bought it two days ago.
You have been Joseph
and Josephed.
I've been Josephed, baby. You've been Josephed, baby.
Tell your friends. that's what the guy
says the the the top of bin cover here um the the cover that goes on top of the refuse the rubbish
the the gross rubbish the wet the wet garbage there's like a filter in it to filter out the
smell and it's like remember to replace the filter every three months and i'm
just like go fuck yourself it's one it's one it's one filter until i die i hope that filter is a
strong one because it's staying there forever remember to replace the stink layer every time
you i've already stopped reading have you ever had a sensor bin?
Now there's a false economy
It's a bad idea
Have you had one of these fancy bins where you wave your hand over it
And it goes zup
What? Like a Jedi bin?
Yeah, Jedi bin
It's one of those ideas
That on paper sounds really cool
But in practice it's so fucking stupid
Because we had it in the flat for a while
And at first it's like zup Wow, I don't the flat for a while and at first I was like, wow
I don't have to touch the bin, cool
yeah, I'm keeping my hands clean
and then eventually
after two weeks it goes
and it's not got enough power to open the lid
and you have to replace the batteries
but guess where the battery compartment
is, Pierre?
It's inside the bin
and it's a compartment with the grooves is, Pierre. It's under the bin. It's inside the bin.
And it's a compartment with the grooves and little gaps so that
it can collect
all the gunk that has been
evaporating upwards through the bin.
And it can just seep into this
lovely
cavity that seems almost designed
to trap gunk and smell and moisture.
And you have to take out the batteries and it's disgusting it's horrible the bat and so now i'm foot pedal all the way foot pedal foot pedal the the batteries for the cleaning robot are
located in the anus of this dog that's that's so that's exactly the sort of stupid fucking decision also like batteries i mean like
you're just smashing your way through double a so that you don't have to touch your bin even though
none of this is necessary yeah i know phil although now i've just realized yeah i don't know how
actually this top of this bin opens and i don't it isn't actually a pedal bin god fucking damn it
oh there's some i'm reading the reviews and some of the reviews are quite annoyed
about the lid release.
Oh, crap.
Loads of the reviews are very pleased, Phil,
but I have bad news.
There is one very bad review in German
and it's all the worse for being in German.
I've no idea what it means,
but it sounds so much worse in German.
Well, I'll be taking this bin for a spin later today and i'll let you know
what i think well taking it for a bin spin i'm afraid phil that someone called gsl says that
the bin is absolute
what is kauf i don't know what any of it means but whatever it is phil that for this guy or girl
for this hair or frow uh this bin was absolute Für dieses Herr oder Frau. Dieses Kabel war absoluter Verkauf.
Vorher so ein
Türes
Produkt ist der Verschluss.
Hoffnungsmechanismus, ein Witz.
Das klingt ziemlich schlecht, Phil.
Das klingt schlecht.
Am Anfang hat der Deckel sich noch auf Knopfdruck geöffnet.
God, shit, that doesn't sound good.
Nach drei Monate liede es schon nicht mehr.
That sounds terrible.
Das Produkt wird also reklamiert.
Phil, the product is also reklamiert.
What have I done?
You've bought an absolute Phil Kauf. That's what have i done you've bought a you've bought an absolute of felkauf that's what
you've done oh god i've never the brothers joseph have had me again i think i think
the de bruders joseph might be more accurate
the bruders joseph that's like a question from shooting stars is there anything more german
than reviewing a bin online but thank god for them i mean these people are all weirdos they're
kind of people that you know will review a coat hanger but you need them when you when you're
looking for coat hangers you're so glad they're there.
Yeah, this is the thing, isn't it?
It's hard to have a view either way on these guys
because they are like a kind of...
Well, they're a bit like...
They're the hero we need right now, aren't they,
when we're looking at these products?
Yeah, exactly.
Not the heroes we wanted,
and not the heroes we'll value,
but the heroes we need. du magasinage. Mais avez-vous ce frisson d'obtenir le meilleur deal? Les membres de Rakuten, eux,
oui. Ils magasinent les marques qu'ils aiment et font d'importantes économies, en plus des remises
en argent. Et vous pouvez aussi commencer à gagner des remises en argent dans vos magasins préférés
comme Old Navy, Best Buy et Expedia, et même cumuler les ventes et les remises en argent.
C'est facile à utiliser et vous obtenez vos remises par PayPal ou par chèque. L'idée est simple.
Les magasins paient Rakuten pour leur envoyer des gens magasinés.
Et Rakuten partage l'argent avec vous sous forme de remise.
Téléchargez l'application gratuite Rakuten et ne manquez jamais un bon deal.
Ou allez sur rakuten.ca pour en avoir plus pour votre argent.
C'est R-A-K-U-T-E-N. I'm looking up
one of the primary villains of Gargoyles.
I'm still on the Gargoyles.
Okay, Phil, here's a good game.
How many...
Wow, okay.
I thought it would be different to that.
How many episodes of Gargoyles do you think there were?
So they're half an hour each yeah yeah um i'm going to say
80 78 whoa wow nice one the gargoyle whisperer
well done Phil yeah
78 episodes of the fucking
gargoyles
yeah that's a lot eh
what
can that possibly be right
yeah
that seems like a lot
of gargoyle action the main villain is a guy called
one of the main villains david zanatos wow okay okay i feel like some some of the villains that
they're like in were they did they survive from medieval scotland like through some magic there's
a couple of other magic stuff yeah Magic lads and lasses.
But he is the founder,
owner and CEO of Xanatos Enterprises
and a member of the Illuminati.
There you go. Wow.
They had like full blown Illuminati shit in there.
There's too many. If I had to do
notes on this I'd be like how many layers are there
of this?
Yeah. I feel like
the gargoyles thing alone is enough to have to explain without
going into the illuminati yeah it's um i think i yeah i'm i'm already busy trying to figure out
how gargoyles work before you start to go okay also everything else is real as well
as well.
I wouldn't...
Yeah, I would feel like I had enough
on my plate with gargoyles.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So he's got this... There's this whole thing
of Xanatos. There's like seven paragraphs about
him trying to...
His quest is for immortality, Phil.
As I'm sure you could have guessed and it's all about him making a deal with puck the son of the god of the forest oberon
um oh so it's like shakespearean shit yeah yeah because it's like yeah it takes draws a lot from
shakespeare i guess because i think you know there's macbeth and stuff yeah and he's um he's
he's buying the castle in from scotland
and moving it to new york and doing all this and he's getting a rogue freelance geneticist to make
clones and and then it goes on and on and then at the end of this at the end of this fifth paragraph
of this incredibly over complicated origin story here's the final sentence
during this time
he also discovered
the existence of the Illuminati
and became a member
that would be such a funny
that's such a funny
like
final line
you know in like a
feel good 80s movie
where at the end
there's a freeze frame
on all the characters
and a bit of writing
that tells you what they did next
like Animal House yeah yeah yeah he eventually discovered the illuminati
and became a member would be such a funny such a funny final note yeah and it's for a really like
it's for one of the one of the least interesting characters oh yeah he's at the end a bit goofy
and like yeah yeah the final frame is him just all smiling benignly yeah he's at the end a bit goofy and like yeah yeah the final frame is him just all smiling
benignly yeah he's he discovered illuminati and became a member and it just moves on straight
to a guy who's like he's now the head of a chain of carpet stores hang on could you no no no we've
got to get through them all now the illuminati was as far as I know
was real but only
for about 30 years
or something
do you know much about the Illuminati
it was a real society
of I think intellectuals
but I think they weren't particularly
powerful and they were only around for
a couple of decades
yes they okay I guess that's what they want you to think.
Well, I was going to say, it'd be funny...
What do you know about the Illuminati?
Nothing, Philip. Nothing.
Nothing.
I think we must know a few people who believe in the Illuminati.
But no, you're right.
It seems to have been a late 1700s Bavarian science club that's it yeah yeah bavarian science delicious delicious the only
smoked science and the only science that where all the all the uh little test tubes and things are just full of wheat beer.
Yeah, and the
coats, the lab coats are
lab ledohosen.
They're white and barely cut as ledohosen.
Yeah, it's all made from
science lab coat material, but they all look
like yodlers.
Yeah, exactly. from science lab coat material but they all look like yodlers yeah exactly
they announced their discoveries through like a big uh alpine horn
have you ever been to bavaria phil no much as my much as the pity I'd love to I just want to eat sausages and drink beer
In like a valley
In an old town
In a beer keller
Yeah
Chatting up
Frows
And with pleats
In their hair
If you show up
And they all start going
You just hear like Joseph and Joseph and their hair. If you show up and they all start going,
you just hear like,
Joseph and Joseph.
And pointing at you, they go, oh no, they know.
I fell for it.
No, I'm the laughing stock of the town.
They know about Joseph and Joseph.
They know about the absolute
of Elkow.
Elkow.
I, um...
I think
something like
Gargoyles or DuckTales
or all these cartoons that you just...
DuckTales! DuckTales.
DuckTales!
DuckTales!
I can't remember. There's a lot of things you can go
Um
DuckTales
Isn't that it?
Oh well done, yeah
Well I can't remember my pin code sometimes
But I've got that in there
Yep
I've got DuckTales forever.
That's a brain that can prioritise.
Isn't it funny how
as a kid, we must have sat in front of
gargoyles, absolutely fucking
baffled.
For hours.
Yeah.
So difficult. So dense.
So impenetrable.
yeah yeah so difficult so dense so impenetrable well i always i have a lot of respect for those show commissioners who
who will not condescend to children who are like nope kids will understand these hour-long dramas about gargoyles and the illuminati that take heavily from
shakespearean canon it's well this is the thing is that i guess there's a commissioner who
thinks highly of children yeah or does not give a fuck what they think
either way yeah there's someone who's passed who was passed on for numerous hbo pitches and was
like fine i'll do it as a cartoon well this is it i think i've been told by people who've written
for kids tv and have tried to write kids tv shows that in some ways kids tv is some of the
hardest stuff to write because if you remove all the complexity actually it gets harder because
you go well what then then what are the reasons for anything happening yeah yeah yeah so yeah to
maintain someone's interest but also make it accessible and understandable one and make sense
for the writers because then otherwise it gets to the point where reality falls to bits.
Where you go, oh, well, then he turns into a duck.
I don't know.
You know, it's just...
Well, that's something that Adventure Time seems able to do.
Yeah.
Adventure Time is like, it's a law unto itself.
But it's so good and so funny.
And they don't explain.
They don't bother explaining why anything is anything.
It just is. That's true, actually. and it's all the funnier for it so they just go this is a
sort of screaming lemon man and you go okay
yeah and jake the dog can just become very huge and he can become small and that's it he's stretchy
yeah he's a stretchy dog and you need to get on board with that i think i think that i think the lesson here phil is that
in the face of in the face of children right with fiction it's just about absolutely refusing to
apologize or explain yeah it's the same it's the same rule that governs adulthood don't explain
don't apologize that's right. And actually,
maybe can you talk about
listeners Phil?
Phil has been
sleeping with another podcast.
Yeah, I didn't want you to find out
like this, but
I said I didn't want you to hear it
from anyone else.
Which one are we talking about?
Oh which one?
No
Richard Herring
Oh yes I was on the Richard Herring
Leicester Square Theatre podcast
Last night
I think the episode will be out next month sometime
In November
Keep an ear out for that
Did you get to ask him about
Coolest Uncool
Or if he'd ever shit himself
anything like that no no i was i was beholden to his format i'm afraid so we we he asked me
his emergency questions uh one of which was very good i mean they're all good, but the one I remember is would you rather know
how you're going to die
or know what happens to you
right after you die?
Oh.
Right after you die, like
you're already dead.
Yeah. Would you rather know how you die
or how would you
would you rather know how you die or what happens to you
right after you die?
What would be the use of the second one?
Yeah.
I mean, I went for the second one because I want to know...
Because the way I interpreted it was like you would know what your legacy was when you died,
after you died, and what people thought about you and did with, you know...
I guess...
I guess literally it's about what they do to to your body but i sort of saw it in a
in a broader sense i suppose like i wouldn't want to know how i die because that's horrible yeah
i suppose slightly sneakily you can use how what happens after you die to figure out how you died
that's true gosh i missed that because if they say you say you say ah you only know what happened
after you died and then it's like well once they'd scraped you off the train tracks, you go, aha.
Well, I just go, la, la, la, la, la.
Every time it appeared to me that someone's about to discuss how I died, I just go, la, la, la, la, la, la, la.
Not listening.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
oh my god oh my god
um
the second season of Gargoyles
Phil was highly affected by the
highly publicized trial of OJ Simpson
what?
how?
how?
it was a time of OJ Simpson
it was a time of Gargoyles
how?
did they try and say that he was a gargoyle?
that was his first defense, actually.
He said, O.J. Simpson said,
look, I couldn't have done it.
It was daytime and I was a statue.
I just saw the wiki link for Trial of O.J. Simpson
in the Gargoyles wiki page.
Secondly, as the second season aired, the highly publicized Trial of O.J. Simpson in the Gargoyles wiki page. Secondly, as the second season aired, the highly publicized Trial of O.J. Simpson drew audiences away from Gargoyles, often due to preemption from the trial's coverage.
What?
What? So there were Gargoyle spoilers during the Trial of O.J. Simpson.
Was he filibustering by saying, I've heard in the next episode Goliath
gets stabbed in the arm
and everyone's going oh come on man
we were going to watch that. And you say I will reveal
a spoiler a day of Gargoyles.
Until I am
acquitted. Until my demands
are met.
By the time the trial was over
Mighty Morphin Power Rangers
Had become more powerful as a brand
No way
Maybe it's because it was always on Saturday mornings
Wait so was Gargoyle
Even popular at all
Before the trial of Virgil Simpson
Was it actually doing quite well
Yeah apparently according to whatever absolute sociopath
Wrote this paragraph
Yeah you can't fight Power Rangers Not if you're frozen for according to whatever absolute sociopath wrote this paragraph.
Yeah, you can't fight Power Rangers.
Not if you're frozen for when they're awake.
Did you get Power Rangers?
Yes, a lot of Power Rangers in my childhood,
the first bit of it in Johannesburg.
Very heavily Power Rangers focused, actually.
Yeah. I mean, South Africa must have been the only place where Power Rangers focused actually yeah I mean South Africa must have been
the only place where Power Rangers was played
where the Power Rangers were
less armed than the kids watching
them
yeah
where the Power Rangers in South Africa were like a kind
of noteworthy for their pacifist
attitude
did you like a kind of noteworthy for their pacifist attitude.
Did you decide which one you were?
Which Power Ranger you were?
Did you choose one?
Oh, my favourite colour was green,
so I always wanted to just be the green anything.
Oh, yeah.
Your favourite colour was green. When I was a kid, yeah.
What's it now?
Blue.
I don't know.
I don't really have one now.
What's yours now versus I don't know I don't really have one now what's yours now
versus when you were a kid
when I was a kid
I liked blue
a lot
and now
I sort of I went I went I strayed off
for a bit I went sort of yellow and red
and black I loved black as a kid
and then but now I'm coming back to blue and
like deep blues and some dark greens and stuff for sure you've said most of the colors there to be
fair and i and i also like white and indigo i've had i've uh a real love for um but when i was a
kid because me and all my cousins always play play together and because there's so many of us
one of us could be
a Power Ranger each
and together we'd make up
the Power Rangers
so we'd get up
we'd get together and play
and like we'd be the Power Rangers
so it matched up
and
yeah yeah yeah
was there one girl
and I went
yeah
oh great
yeah there was
yeah
I think there were two girls.
There was the yellow Power Ranger and...
Yeah, the yellow Power Ranger and the pink Power Ranger were girls.
Of course, yellow and pink.
That's right.
Yeah.
And we had two girls.
But I want...
I remember when the...
Because the green Power Ranger was...
Oh, wait, no, no, no.
The white Power Ranger was a new addition.
He was a bad guy.
Was he bad?
Or did he turn bad?
No, he started bad
And then he turned good
And I think he became gold?
Yeah
I think the White Power Ranger became gold
Oh no, the Green Ranger turned white
Oh, the Green
No, no, you're right
The Green Ranger turned white
That's right Oh no, the Green wasn't bad I think he was right. The Green Ranger turned white. That's right.
I think he was bad. He was bad as green.
He was bad as green and then became white.
Oh, did I even comprehend that?
Also, very funny to say, the White Power Ranger.
There was a guy at uni who did stand-up.
He did a great bit about it.
What was his name
oh he was really good at stand-up a guy who we knew he didn't do it after yeah yeah he did all
the college gigs and stuff wait this rings a bell and he had a bit about the power rangers and um
didn't he have that bit about the Simpsons as well?
Yeah, that's right He did a lot of bits about kids shows
And the Power Rangers bit
Was like how it ingrained
These racial
Hierarchies, or not
Racial stereotyping into kids
From such an early age
And gender stereotypes
The pink Power Ranger was a girl
The black Power Ranger was black
The yellow Power Ranger was Asian gender stereotypes the pink power ranger was a girl the black power ranger was blank the the yellow power ranger was asian and the white power ranger was the leader
and it's such a good bit it's so good him he oh he was he was a uh he was blonde and he he did law
yes right that's right that's right oh fuck he was fuck he was good he was good there were a bunch of people
at uni
who were like
wow you're really good
they just
they were these sort of
and
I mean amateur
in the nicest way
like they were
like they were
gentlemen
tinkerers
yes
they had their degree
they were quite focused
on what they did
but twice a term
they'd come up with five minutes of stand-up.
It was really, really good.
And then they'd perform it, and then they'd go back to their jobs,
and they'd finish uni, and they became journalists or whatever.
That guy's a barrister, I think.
Ah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But that makes sense with stand-up skills, doesn't it?
That makes sense because barristers are sort of...
Yeah, exactly.
Goddamn.
This is going to bug me
for a thousand years now I think
Jamie
sorry I missed that
Jamie that's it
it's going to bug me for a thousand years I said
but what I meant was one second
it was Jamie
shout out to Jamie if he's listening
god damn
yeah that's some good sign up
fucking hell um yeah maybe what do you think would have happened
if we'd been happy with tinkering and then just not doing it for uh our entire lives forever
yeah i can't imagine it i can't imagine it i saw envy the ability to just sort of
dip into something be good at it, enjoy it, and then move on.
Yeah, to not really give a shit.
That's the sort of, like, it's quite an advanced, like,
it would be impressive to see someone do it with, say, music, wouldn't it?
Yeah, yeah, and I think impossible,
because to get good at music, you just have to commit.
Comedy, from time to time, someone will drop in
and they'll just be good straight away.
But you can't instinctively know how to play the oboe.
Speak for yourself, Phil.
For God's sake.
Don't drag me into your mediocrity.
And you just start a solo
instinctive oboe is one of the best players
that's the name of your debut and only jazz oboe album yeah and it's like black and blue
on the front it's just you wailing on
this oboe and it's just called piano valley distinctive instinctive
and it's just you like gleaming back with his oboe just really ripping it
it's done it's done in that style where it's like it's a it's a it's like a very limited three-color print.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly, yeah.
Black bottom layer.
Yeah, all different shades of blue and black.
Yeah, black bottom layer, then medium blue, and then the oboe is in gold.
Shiny.
Oh, man.
I wish I could play the oboe now so i could release that album because i can see the
cover out of my head so clearly yeah it looks so good it looks so good in my head
instinctive oboe by piano valley instinctive oboe and then
you know people it would be like uh you know'd have to be very lucky to see him at Ronnie Scott's, you know?
Yeah.
He only drops in once every five, six years.
I mean, he doesn't even call ahead.
Yeah, you just have to be lucky.
You just have to be lucky.
It's a good little book. Oh, fuck really i might go watch gargoyles now yeah yeah yeah i wonder if it's one of those old classics that was actually you know
we'll find some new following now i think um gargoyles i think the strength of our uh
one of the well one of the strengths of our friendship phil and is is that because both
of us are are international uh citizens of nowhere as theresa may call this yeah um we can we we are
one of the few people that the other can be nostalgic with with any degree of accuracy
yeah that's true that's true because we didn't because yeah i don't you know we can't do it i
don't know who decides what shows get to go to South Africa and Malaysia,
but there is a lot of crossover.
I think you'll find it's one David Xanatos.
Yeah, man, it's one weird guy
who has shaped this full sensibility with his baffling baffling choices um yeah yeah i mean that and that's
i think we i think we do well among the third culture kids the international kids crowd we
get a lot of you guys listening yeah yeah totally people who went to schools named after nationalities that they are not for example
yes
like the
American school of Paris
exactly and being neither French nor American
yeah
maybe that's our niche
maybe that's our niche
the whole UN vibe
the number one downloaded podcast
in the United Nations.
Yeah, that's what they're actually all listening to.
You know when there's footage of the UN and everyone's got their earpieces in?
That's not the translators.
They're listening to Bud Pod.
And when they're looking really serious, it's because they're listening to that bit where the woman shits her own pussy.
Oh, by the way, I finished the nuremberg series on radio 4 and i recommend it to everyone it's so good okay there's so much interesting stuff
no spoilers huh sorry no spoilers yeah maybe they get out who knows um and this i didn't realize how
many firsts the nuremberg trial was oh Oh, yeah? I mean, it was the first time, like, genocide was basically defined in those terms.
First time wars against humanity was even considered as a possibility.
And also the first time that the...
Well, I guess the first time a kind of international court was convened.
And it was the first time that people had those earpieces in at like a convention
it was the first time they had live
interpretation
live translation, that's right
yeah, and at first the judges were like
we can't have headphones on all the time
we look like
telegram girls
like moon men
and it was just like this mad dash.
They had to have so many interpreters
because they had to have like English to German,
German to English, German to French, French to English.
And they had like 36 interpreters on at once.
It was crazy.
I mean, it's astonishing.
It's all on BBC, isn't it?
Yeah, it's all on BBC Sounds, Nuremberg.
You would hear this on the BBC?
Yeah, for once, this is You would hear this on the BBC? Yeah, for once, this is
something you would hear on the BBC.
That's right. What you won't
hear on the BBC is
they are completely unwilling.
The MSM don't want to hear
about David Xanatos and the Illuminati.
You know what you won't hear on the BBC?
Anything about the Age of gargoyles.
They're conspicuously silent about the age of gargoyles.
I don't recall hearing a start the week about the age of gargoyles.
Interesting, isn't it?
You stop Nick Robinson in the street and ask about gargoyles,
and he doesn't even say anything.
He just looks confused and frightened and runs
away.
He gives you a rushed
he rushes a hurried response
about not having the time
and runs and dashes off
quickens his pace nervously.
Every BBC employee
I ask about gargoyles doesn't
seem to have a clue what I'm asking
them about.
You go up to the BBC and say,
I'm here about gargoyles, and they'll just pull down
a shutter, like a bank
that's going bust.
Ignorance
or something much worse.
What are they keeping from us?
Gargoyles, I bet.
Xanatos has got to them.
Xanatos has got to them, and that's why it's illegal
to sneak onto the roof of the BBC's offices
and take photographs, because that's where the gargoyles are.
And not for any other reason
would it be illegal to do that.
Alright, well, I genuinely might go watch
a YouTube clip of the intro to remind myself of that
extraordinary monologue
I'm going to do the same
what are you going to do after that Phil
are you going to unwrap your bins and bin your bin bag bins
I'm going to unwrap my bins
and see if it is truly
Al-Khattafan
what was it?
Al-Khattafan hopefully it's not Al Cutthoff and what was it? Absoluta Felcalf
Absoluta Felcalf
hopefully it's not Felcalf at all
and then we're going to see
a friend's baby
ooh
baby visit
very nice
I
you know what I'm going to do Phil
I'm going to watch the
Guy Girls thing
I'm going to go for a bloody walk
wow
where are you going to walk to? I'm going to walk and Phil? I'm going to watch the Gargoyles thing and I'm going to go for a bloody walk. Wow. Where are you going to walk to?
I'm going to walk...
And where are you going to walk from?
I'm going to crawl until I'm
going to start my walk.
Because you've got to walk before you can crawl.
You've got to crawl before you can walk.
And it's good for the core.
And if you're a Gargoyle, you've got to be
a stone for a thousand years
before you can walk. That's right.
After you're betrayed by the very humans you swore to be a stone for a thousand years before you can walk. That's right.
After you're betrayed by the very humans you swore to protect.
I mean, God knows what that's about.
Tell me that, Sanatos.
Anyway, have a good week, listeners, and we will see you next week.
See you, guys.
Bye-bye.
Bye. Bye.
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