BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 171 - Scatty Sunset

Episode Date: July 6, 2022

The lads chat Fran Lebowitz and scat, Scooby Doo, Phil found some live tatSketch: Q and A with WangCorrespondence from: Erin the feminist and Ellie regarding her mum's old man bum struggle Get bonus B...udPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 It's Budpod 171. 171, um, Gun Heaven Fun, which is a description of the Republicans' America. Gun Heaven Fun. That sounds like, um, I can see the game, like it's like a Final Fantasy game where the guns are like the size of the players, you know? And it's also a sword fantasy game where the guns are like the size of the players you know and it's also a sword i i was always i i never got into final fantasy and all the artwork from it only served to put me off further like why is this small blonde but also presumably Japanese elf boy carrying a sword that's also a gun. It makes him tall. How is he stable?
Starting point is 00:00:50 How is he able to carry that enormous gun sword? It looks like more of an impediment on the battlefield than anything else. Yeah, and his enemy is like a kind of in full costume but without makeup sort of Lady Gaga figure, long white hair. And there's like, there isn't a single flap of cloth
Starting point is 00:01:10 that isn't divided further into four curling magic flaps of cloth. All the better to get snagged on in the heat of battle. Yeah, with a sword that is the size of a car with a gun in the handle for no reason. Yes. Mad. Speaking of cartoony people,
Starting point is 00:01:30 in our pre-pod chat, because Pierre and I always have a little chat on the phone before I had to catch up and to release the demons that we mustn't say on any recorded medium. I told you one of my favourite little trivia facts that Scooby-Doo, the cartoon crime-solving dog, is named after a single moment of Frank Sinatra's scat singing. It's at the end of Strangers in the Night
Starting point is 00:02:03 when most of Frank Sinatra's songs he sings and then scats the end until it fades out as if he's just walking into a scatty sunset. And at the end of Strangers in the Night he goes, Scooby-Dooby-Doo, da-ba-da-dee-da, da-ba-da-da-dee. And that one Scooby-Dooby-Doo, that's what Scooby-Doo the dog is named after. Scatty Sunset is a place you can go to have yourself shat on in LA. Yes. Yeah, on Sunset Boulevard.
Starting point is 00:02:34 It's a poop club. It's a sexy poop club. It's a poop... Look, it's a poop club. You don't have to go. We met at Scatty Sunset in the 80s. And since then, we've made 12 pictures together i don't know i looked across the room at the vip area and who should i see squatting over a glass
Starting point is 00:02:56 table but this guy scatty sunset was the place to be in the 80s. And it was a boom time for them, because all the coke really loosened people up in every sense, I mean. Scatty Sunset. They have a big Netflix documentary about its legacy. Yeah, selling scatty. Selling scatty, yeah. You see here behind me a humble Trader Joe's but it wasn't always a high end
Starting point is 00:03:27 grocery store now on this site people go in to buy things to put in their mouths well only a couple of decades ago is where they went to put things out of their ass yeah ironic that the place where is where they went to put things out of their ass.
Starting point is 00:03:47 Yeah. Ironic that the place where the great and the good, the glitterati of LA would come to shit, there isn't even a customer bathroom. Anthony Blanton, CNN. Shakes his head and sort of hands on hips looks behind him at the place they never dealt with that in scooby-doo did they him doing a kind of enormous dog-sized shit after those big sandwiches yeah yeah no one ever had to pick up scooby-dooby-doo's
Starting point is 00:04:19 scatty-watty crap no one ever shaggy never had i've had... At no point did Shaggy put his hand into a plastic bag and lean over and go, Oh, Scoob! And pick up an enormous turd. Because he was a big dog as well, Scooby-Doo. Yeah, man. What breed was he, actually? Do they ever say?
Starting point is 00:04:41 Is that the final mystery that the mystery van has to solve? It is a breed. It is a breed. It is a breed. Hang on. What is it? Yeah. Shaggy never said zoinks at the sheer size of one of those dumps. Zoinks, Scoob.
Starting point is 00:04:57 What did you eat? Those are the same sandwiches you did. You know what, as well, is like, I don't know if you've ever seen a dog that size. It's a Great Dane, of course. It's a Great Dane. I don't know if you've ever seen a dog that size take a shit, but it's bigger than any human shit. It is astonishing. Yeah, no, I don't make a habit of looking out for them.
Starting point is 00:05:25 So no, I don't make a habit of looking out for them, so no, I don't. Well, you know, get yourself down to Scatty Sunset on their dog's welcome days. Oh, speaking of nonsense words, sorry to be flying around, but the other weekend I went with the family to Whitstable, the oyster capital of Kent, and we stayed in an Airbnb, and this Airbnb came complete with tat.
Starting point is 00:05:59 Oh, shit. You saw some tat in life. Yes, real life tat. I feel so good. I feel like I'm a Bud Pod listener or something. So there's one that is mad, and then three here that are just annoying. I'll run you through the...
Starting point is 00:06:19 It is one of these houses that has a lot of tat that lists rules, but rules that are fun, you know. I mean, one is just a framed piece of tat that says, time to, and all different, as we all know, all different fonts, time to drink champagne and dance on the table. And then another one in cursive by the sea all worries wash away which sounds like something
Starting point is 00:06:54 I mean that's a suicide note that's what what's the face is a Virginia Woolf yeah who just put rocks in her and actually it's come the dawn with some stones so it is like oh god it is like Oh god It is like something Virginia Woolf would say
Starting point is 00:07:07 Before putting stones in her pocket and just walking into the sea Is it Virginia Woolf? Death It's always bad when you look at someone's Wikipedia page And before the thing that says death It says mental health Sea Suicide Lady Is it Virginia Woolf?
Starting point is 00:07:23 She did 41 Do you know what see suicide lady is it original? she did yeah yeah yeah 41 hmm do you know what you know what's weird I would feel like I would be less likely
Starting point is 00:07:32 to commit suicide in 1941 than before or after the war you'd be less likely to commit suicide in 1941 yeah I'd want to see
Starting point is 00:07:41 how it ended right right right right yeah I know right I know what you mean I know what you mean in 1941 1941. Yeah, I'd want to see how it ended. Right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, right. I know what you mean. I know what you mean. In 1941, yeah, Wisconsin was really picking up. Yeah, Battle of Britain.
Starting point is 00:07:57 Yeah. Okay, so this is the first collection of cottage rules, because everyone loves a cottage with rules. Please don't commit suicide at our Airbnb that must have happened despite what other tat says please do not
Starting point is 00:08:13 wait a sec oh yes and this is actually this is one that my sister remarked on so it says cottage rules stay up late oh yes and this is actually this is one that my sister remarked on uh we just got fun she um so it says cottage rules stay up late it's the first one which is i mean that's okay that's torture that's what the americans did in guantanamo bay basically that's sleep deprivation you have to stay up late yeah step late and the second one sleep in which is reasonable i mean you're going to need to if you stay in the third. The third one is flat out psychotic.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Wake up smiling. Imagine. God. The terror. Imagine if you woke up smiling. Imagine. Bring, bring, bring. I love to be up.
Starting point is 00:09:04 Which is worse, to be asleep with like a kind of completely like blank face and then as your eyes open, just straight away smiling? Or is it worse to just be like sleeping with like a rictus fucking joker grin and then just waking up? And your face just not moving. I think it's creepier to be just, yeah, be grinning the whole time. Yeah. An eyes closed rictus grin is a
Starting point is 00:09:29 horrifying horrifying thought. I'm just doing it to myself now. But it's the rules. Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty creepy. It's the rules. Rule number four, and this is a classic one. Drink tea. Fuck off. What? drink tea uh make memories in the short time you have in the day because you slept in so late yeah yeah well and also i mean you know it's involuntary
Starting point is 00:09:57 isn't it make memories if you're if you're healthy uh make uh relax laugh play i would say difficult to relax and play yeah i'd rather play laugh and then relax do you know what i mean yeah because that's that it also makes more aural sense go oh get it over here over here oh oh you win haha but good time that's the sound of play laugh relax whereas relax laugh play is anyone for tennis? That's much less sinister. Yeah, Relax, Laugh, Play is a man sinking into an armchair, chuckling to himself, and then launching himself at a rugby ball
Starting point is 00:10:52 out of the armchair. After that is Take Long Walks. And these are the biggest letters of all. Take Long Walks. They're letters of all. Take long walks. They're literally marching orders. Take long walks. Take them. It's something a Nazi officer would say
Starting point is 00:11:15 with a gun pointed at you. Take long walks. Or like a mafia threat. Why don't you take a long walk? Leave us here in the Airbnb to have a little talk with your friend. After that, see the sunrise. Now, my sister pointed out a very clear contradiction within a mere few cottage rules.
Starting point is 00:11:42 a mere few cottage rules. She pointed out, which is very well observed, that you literally cannot sleep in and see the sunrise. Yeah, and it's a very small window if you're going to suddenly wake up smiling, remember? Look at the sunrise, go to bed. Within seconds. Still smiling, presumably. And then the very last one. go to bed within seconds still smiling presumably
Starting point is 00:12:05 and then after the very last one eat plenty, nap often I mean the amount of sleep involved in this list of rules this is the lifestyle of some sort of bear oh yeah it does also say here
Starting point is 00:12:24 fashion, a butt plug out of foliage and twigs all right yeah oh sorry it is it is better sorry i should have seen that sorry it's bad it's for bears it's for bears don't forget to fashion a month-long butt plug from twigs and moth cocoons and can you imagine how great it feels to be a bear and to take six months worth of shit in a single session? Oh, wow, yeah. Just empty out your entire body like a fucking toothpaste tube. It must be insane.
Starting point is 00:12:56 I guess they haven't been eating. Yeah. But they must just be skipping around the forest after that shit. Oh, yeah. Bears do shit in the woods, you know. Yes. Famously. How long was this piece of tat?
Starting point is 00:13:12 There's quite a few completely contradictory rules. It's tall. It's a tall piece of tat. It was the tallest in the house by far. I don't like tall tat. It's like the shadow of a grandfather clock all high on a wall. Long. Nothing should be long on a poster but it's thrilling to see some uh some beach tat uh in in person yeah yeah i'm trying to think because i also have recently been in an airbnb for a friend of mine stag do and i don't
Starting point is 00:13:43 think there was no tat but like you know sometimes you can have a sort of magnetic uh little notice board by the by the sort of back door a magnetic motorsport notice board like you can pin things on it notice board yeah um it was it was like a sort of magnetized uh I'd say like 30, 40 centimeters square. And it was just a picture top down of a latte with a heart in the foam. A latte with a heart in the foam. Yeah, you know how they do. Oh, okay.
Starting point is 00:14:20 I was thinking a cross section of a latte. And then in the foam section at the top, just a crudely placed... No, no, top-down. Yeah, top-down. Top-down. Bird's-eye view. Bird's-eye view of the latte.
Starting point is 00:14:34 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just sort of thought, that's like a perfect nothing image. Yeah. Yeah. Just like, oh, a coffee and love. yeah just like oh a coffee and love i would it would be great to to rent an airbnb and from the photos in advance create replacement
Starting point is 00:14:53 tat that you replace and see how long it takes them to notice so like instead of that image with the magnetized notice board you choose an image of say um, Royal Marine Commandos about to storm a bunker on D-Day. Black and white. Yeah, I think it would be a while. That's a good idea for a prank, to slowly, maybe word by word, changing the tag
Starting point is 00:15:21 until it eventually becomes like an insane manifesto yeah see how many words in the tat around the house you can replace just with the word meringue go to bed late get up meringue just stick meringue in there
Starting point is 00:15:41 don't speak to me until I have my meringue. Like, replace all the mugs with that. Meringue must be one of the most crazily spelt words in the language, surely. Meringue. Maringue. Maringue. A couple episodes ago, we talked about when, in a movie, the protagonist discovers an ancient evil.
Starting point is 00:16:04 Yes. In some faraway land. Meringue. It sounds like one of the evil spirits they've disturbed. Yeah, it sounds like... A Bedouin nomad would slowly back away saying, Meringue. Or like the naive Western archaeologist naively holds up a sort of jade egg.
Starting point is 00:16:22 He goes, oh my God, look at this. And all the helpers start pointing they all run as they as they run they like kick over the ladder so they can't get up out of the hole no wait what i always thought was strange about those No, wait! Meringue! Meringue. What I always thought was strange about those scenes was, like, okay, these, like, sort of patronizingly depicted local, native, whatever, fucking helpers are, like, so terrified of the object when it's found,
Starting point is 00:16:59 but, like, they're helping dig for it. What were they told the job was? But that's just, yeah yeah that's just the um what the job markets are like in these places pierre you just have to take any job that comes up even if it is to disturb an ancient spirit that that's true definitely kill you that's true uh i've got some uh i've got some freelance work you know with that with the t tuck what about you yeah it's um take us people to poke around the demon temple it's not great but i mean the pay is incredible and i mean most of the time you don't find a demon it's like a one in ten demon chance you know i mean obviously
Starting point is 00:17:37 we hear about all the times people find demons but that's because they're all the ones when you don't don't make the news it's just an outrage it's an outrage culture we live in look you think you're gonna get as many clicks talking about all the not demons you found didn't think so um yes i did i i i'm very i thank you oh god i must remember to say thank you to the pod buds who came to see me at i think some of you were at arg uh last night arg festival you did as well phil yes i was at arg festival on saturday thank you for coming to that uh a man's chair broke while i was on um really yeah yeah yeah he was very he was very good about it i just heard i was just doing my jokes and just heard a boom and i looked to my left and this chair had had folded and he
Starting point is 00:18:32 picked it up and for a second he and he's finding some way to put it and he looked like he was stone cold steve austin and he's about to hit me with a folded chair um oh shit but then he just sort of put it away and then and then he had there was no free seats shit but then he just sort of put it away and then and then he had there was there's no free seats left so then he just kind of had to nonchalantly lean against the wall just like um but aside from that it's a it's a lovely show nice people great to be at the wonderful arg comedy festival in shoreditch once again after a couple of years. A nice time by all. King's Head.
Starting point is 00:19:09 Downstairs at the King's Head in Crouch Ends. Thank you to the pod buds who came to that. I had a nice chat with some of you afterwards. Guy said Koji as he walked past me, which was very nice. And my friend Desi came with his lovely wife and we had a nice catch up. He's a pod bud as well.
Starting point is 00:19:24 Hi, Desi. Hi, Desi. Hi, Desi. lovely wife and we had a nice catch up oh he's a pod but as well hi desi hi desi um i i did a gig at hackney last week at the moth club and uh before i was on i i ran um i was in the venue and i was i like did a little crouch to inconspicuously jog to the back of the room so i could watch and as i passed one, he just whispered to me, Koji, as I ran through. Really? Yeah, then I turned my face to say Koji back,
Starting point is 00:19:51 but he didn't turn back around. So I couldn't see who it was. But very nice, mysterious Koji in the dark. That's a confident man. Yeah. And quick, because he only had like a second to realize it was me running through. But he'd been practicing like Rambo in the jungle for the moment when his reflexes would be required to just go, give me a quick, Koji. Koji.
Starting point is 00:20:16 Unless he just does that to everyone who walks past him on the chance that it's me or you. Well, I think that would be fair. Yeah. I think that's a... Also, it's good advice. It's good advice to everyone. It's good advice and it's fair. It's a fair thing to say to people. After my ARG show on Saturday,
Starting point is 00:20:38 I went with my sister to watch Fran Lebowitz in Conversation. Ooh! Do you like Fran Lebowitz? I think so. Do you like Fran Lebowitz? I think so. Am I thinking of the right person? She's the grumpy New York author, humorist, who is in Pretender to City on Netflix with Martin Scorsese.
Starting point is 00:20:59 Yeah, she's funny. She's very funny, yeah, yeah. And the first, yeah, yeah. said that she was going to be talking to Fran Lebowitz and then Fran Lebowitz would take questions from the audience. And the split was 30 minutes, Hadley Freeman chatting with Fran Lebowitz and then an hour of audience questions. Whoa. You and I have done a book event together
Starting point is 00:21:40 and we know that's the wrong way around. That's a lot. Yeah. That's a lot of questions and not only that fran leberwitz insisted on no microphones for the audience if you had a question yeah she doesn't like microphones she thinks they're too much of a faff so if for these questions you just have to belt you have to belt unamplified through the entire theatre your question Fran Lebowitz
Starting point is 00:22:11 what was it like genuinely it was like that it was crazy and straight and so we finished the half hour of very funny good fluid chat with Hadley Freeman then Hadley Freeman got off stage and Fran Lebowitz walked up to a lectern and said
Starting point is 00:22:27 any questions and people just started going in episode 3 of Pretend It's A City you said that New York is like a grape what other fruit do you think are like
Starting point is 00:22:44 cities and then or something like that what other fruit do you think are like cities? And then, or something like that. And then Fran would go, sorry, I didn't hear that. What? Yeah, because she's 71. So what the fuck is she doing? And so for an hour,
Starting point is 00:22:57 Fran Leibowitz had to try and decipher what a room of 12,000 different accents, because it's the only show in the UK were saying so someone would scream a question from the top balcony then she'd go, what? and someone a bit further down, Chinese whisper it
Starting point is 00:23:16 all the way up to the front where invariably a Scottish person would then try to tell her the question in a very thick Scottish accent and she'd go huh huh? And so that was an hour, that was an hour Oh my god The crowd got feral, people were going
Starting point is 00:23:34 why don't you use a microphone? People were losing their minds but it was quite chaotic fun, but it was so dumb Fran Lebowitz is saying to you the way don't you god use your microphone huh was it a question about david bowie oh my god but like americans sometimes don't understand posh english accents like the most
Starting point is 00:24:02 clear sounding yeah exactly but when she could understand a question uh yeah she was very good she'd nail it yeah all off the top all off the dome very funny very good um i do recommend that netflix series pretended to city it's very good i need to read some of her collected uh works there were there were some very big fran fans in um whenever you go to one of these events you realize oh i am a very casual fan of this person there was a guy in front um there's a guy in front of san franomimo sister and he had like a copy of the fran lebowitz Reader, you know, the collection of essays, very ostentatiously placed on his lap. And every time Fran made a joke or made a good point, he would clap the most, like, sonorous, resonant clap with his hands.
Starting point is 00:24:57 Ka-pow, pow, pow, pow. You know how some people, they clap like they have... They slightly cup their hands and it's like thunder yeah yeah yeah really making a show of his fandom what would you need the reader for the book
Starting point is 00:25:17 what would you need that for just to correct her actually I'm imagining this reader with loads of little neon highlighter Actually. I'm imagining this reader with loads of little neon highlighter stickums poking out. Yeah, I think he did actually have all these stickers in it for segments that he wanted to bring up. But he never asked a question. One lady behind us, and we are in the balcony we're far away Fran would go
Starting point is 00:25:50 any questions and this lady behind us would go me like that and Fran wouldn't hear her and she'd point to someone two rows in front of her obviously and then she'd answer that question and she'd go okay who's next and this lady behind us just went me and and then she'd answer that question and she'd go okay who's next and this lady behind
Starting point is 00:26:05 is just going me and again she'd pick someone five rows away and then she'd go again okay who's next me and eventually this lady just gave up and Fran pointed to someone like near her and
Starting point is 00:26:21 she just bowled over Fran like that and she was she had kind of like an eastern European her and she just bowled over fran like that and she was she had kind of like an eastern european accent and she was like it is my dream that you would have a debate with jordan peterson uh why what do you will you ever do it and how do you think it would go and friend is like what did she say and and everyone's kind of going oh jesus jordan peterson there's something about eastern europeans and jordan peterson have you noticed this yes yes yes definitely that is a thing i don't know if they're just because they're so especially
Starting point is 00:27:06 no like no nonsense uh no bullshit um over there that they really like this guy but but eventually the name john peterson i love joe rogan yeah yeah eventually the name john peterson was passed up to fran liebers on stage and she's like i don't know who that is. And at first I was surprised, but then she doesn't have a phone and she doesn't have a laptop and she isn't on the internet really. And I realized, oh yeah, that's why she doesn't know him because you would only know him if you're very online.
Starting point is 00:27:39 Yeah, yeah. Most people have no idea really. And most people who do know who he is seem to have found him through Rogan, yeah. It'd be very funny if Fran was a big Joe Rogan listener. But I don't really understand. It's my one digital vice. It's kind of like a boring thing
Starting point is 00:27:59 that these people always are put to the public figures they like, or the public speakers they like. Would you debate with Jordan Peterson? Even though every Jordan Peterson debate that has been hyped up has always been not good. And he's mad now. Well, yeah, he ate nothing
Starting point is 00:28:18 but beef and went into a Serbian coma. He's full of... The man's full of beef. He's full of beef. And there's always an air when you ever get a question like that of like you're my hero will you fight my enemy right but i think she was also i think she was a fan of of um john pearson oh so she was like oh who of my two heroes will best each other exactly exactly exactly that was very much the vibe oh okay that's interesting um yeah i i mean it's sort of like
Starting point is 00:28:53 well what would they even debate about to be fair i don't know enough about fran liebowitz's i guess well i mean peterson's started saying even more and more insane things about like birth control being the decline of civilization and things so yeah that's a pretty easy debate yeah exactly yeah i don't think it would be particularly interesting especially knowing that he he would cry at some point that is absolutely certain um for those interested i i for me his sort of reign really ended with his gq interview with helen lewis i'm a yeah i'm a big helen lewis stan and she just she's so calm about it and he comes off so mad and unreasonable um i thought that's what this is pre-beef this is i think i think this is during what's the word
Starting point is 00:29:39 like pre and like post that is for during because i think we're mid mid beef mid beef yeah no it's very much mid beef a mid beef interview in inter beef intra beef intra beef yes this is intra beef intra beef yeah inter beef would be between beefs between separate beefs yeah where intra beef is within the one beef yeah so within the one enormous long bit of beef that he ate i put him in a coma um intra beef yes quite well speaking of beef phil let's cut into the of correspondence delish who's got beef with us though i suppose he would say that. All right, so we've got to the point of the evening
Starting point is 00:30:32 where I'll be taking some of your questions from the audience. There'll be a couple of roving microphones. So just put your hands up and someone will come to you. Yes, over there. Yes, just wait for and someone will come to you. Yes, over there. Yes, just wait for the microphone to come to you. Thank you. Thank you for your talk. I was just wondering, do you think I'm nice?
Starting point is 00:30:58 What? Do I think you're nice? Yeah. Do you think I'm nice? Well, I don't really know you, but yes? Oh, brilliant. Okay, another question, please. Yes, the gentleman over there.
Starting point is 00:31:17 Um, where do we go when we die? Yes or no? Yes or no? What are you talking... Look, sorry, can everyone just try and think about the questions before they ask them? Yes, you, sir. Yes, more of a comment
Starting point is 00:31:36 than a question, really. Right, okay. Thank you. Can we find someone a little more normal? Yes, someone from the back. Why is no one willing to take responsibility for their own questions these days? Asking for a friend. You over there.
Starting point is 00:31:59 Yes, please have something that would be worthwhile asking. Yes, I was just wondering, if you're up there and I'm over here, who's flying the theatre? Right. Excuse me, I'd like to know, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if they were properly funded for once by this bloody government?
Starting point is 00:32:23 Why are you applauding? What does that even mean? Look, one more time. Look, I've to have one last question. Please, please make it worthwhile. Yes, you, sir. Are we living in a simulation? And is that simulation
Starting point is 00:32:42 Microsoft Flight Simulator 1998? What is wrong with you people I don't know how to end the sketch as women our life stages come with unique risk factors like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause causing the risk of heart disease to go up
Starting point is 00:33:00 know your risks visit heartandstroke.ca. Letters, emails, phone calligraphies, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister,
Starting point is 00:33:16 your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your sister, your correspondence. Aaron gets in touch. Aaron, how how you fairing That's good I like that a lot So this I've teased it I think on this Or maybe the Patreon Aaron is a Patreon pod bud
Starting point is 00:33:35 A bonus pod bud bud bud bud As well That is a special term we have for the Patreon Pod buds The pod bud bud bud bud Because they get extra patreon and you have to blow your nose afterwards it's quite a thing to say so aaron gets in touch uh so she says here we go hi boys greetings from a lockdown sydney
Starting point is 00:34:03 this is from the still still in Sydney they were locking down when this was sent. Although knowing Australia and New Zealand, Pierre, that could be yesterday. Gotta burn a hole. Greetings from a lockdown Sydney and thank you for keeping me company during this bastard of a year. I'm not sure how you feel
Starting point is 00:34:21 about this, but I consider Budpod to be a feminist text. Yes, this is what we want to hear Yes This is what we want I consider this our free pass now to say anything And whoever complains will say I don't think you understand
Starting point is 00:34:39 One woman said I was good One woman at a different time said I was good. One woman at a different time said I was good before I said the things I've said since. So if you could retract this. So I consider Bud Pod to be a feminist text. Hear me out. Women, their bowel motions and their associated smells have long been considered shameful and while i am a feminist through and through i've always found myself incredibly embarrassed to talk about such things especially around men yeah yeah yeah it's true this seems
Starting point is 00:35:18 ridiculous in this day and age but such talk or demonstration by a woman is usually followed by disgust and shaming as opposed to being funny when men talk about it exactly it's one of the the remaining taboos the tapu is the tapu is the remaining tapu it's a remaining tapu uh bud pot has exposed me to explosive tales of the fecal kind over the last two and a bit years i guess you could call this Expugia therapy. Very nice. Very good. Anyway, while initially uncomfortable and embarrassed listening to these stories, I now thoroughly enjoy and even look forward to my
Starting point is 00:35:53 weekly dose of poo chat. We have created a monster. A poopy monster. We got you hooked and you're coming back for more. We should have like a you know those uh before uh meth and after meth photo comparisons we should do before bud pod and after bud pod in the second photo they're just like stinky and gross in the second photo they're like wrinkling their nose like there's a bad smell but smiling yeah delighted But smiling. Yeah. Delighted.
Starting point is 00:36:27 God. The fact that you don't discriminate based on the gender of the misadventurous poor has shifted something in my mind. Ah. Ah. And I now feel considerably... Yes, we've made you poop out those bad prejudices from your brain bum.
Starting point is 00:36:43 Yeah. A brain bum is a good description for a mouth, I think. A brain bum. Yeah. Oh, hang on. I just can't leave the house yet. I've got to brush my brain bum. Got to clean my...
Starting point is 00:36:58 Rinse out my brain bum. Has shifted something in my mind, and I now feel considerably less embarrassed about the topic so from one more confident female poor thank you for furthering the cause yes great good great our pleasure um yes absolutely i mean when piazza and i started this podcast we started it with the sole ambition of liberating our sisters from their pooping cage yeah
Starting point is 00:37:29 coming out of your cages and you've been pooping just fine we are Puth Bader Ginsburg oh my god we're Jermaine Peer we're Jermaine Peer Oh my god Would you main peer? Would you main peer? Who else is there? Shatlin Moran Oh very good
Starting point is 00:37:55 What's the lady from the 70s With the glasses Gloria Gloria Gloria Gloria Gloria Gloria Gloria Gloria with the glasses a glorious gloria stybum glorious stybum glorious stybum or shy bum maybe um yes describe the world before gloria yes yes yes lamentably shy bum yeah well i mean i do remember i do remember god it must have been like 13 14 years ago when i think it's fair to say 13 or 14 years ago that was when the the the increase in in female uh comedy and and female sketch groups started i would say 2010 say and i did notice how many
Starting point is 00:38:43 of the sketches were poopy and initially i was like well hang on that's we're not supposed to do poop jokes are we and then i thought no wait i remember sort of going oh actually it is transgressive in context yes exactly it's such a good lesson in contextual transgressiveness because if it had been three like a mega lads doing it you would have just been like okay whereas um because it was often sort of three quite sort of which you might call nice young girls just doing some sort of harrowing sketch about just chitting their guts out that becomes transgressive for the very reason yes yes yes yeah i mean the the speaker is part of the message yeah and that was a good a good
Starting point is 00:39:23 little lesson there good little example um erin also says also just wondering if you're aware of the puma that has been circulating in australia that are that our current prime minister out of date now uh no longer the prime minister in australia our current prime minister shat his pants in a suburban mcdonald's in 1997 yes yes yes yes this was um you wouldn't know wondered when I was in Melbourne this year. It was still hot, hot goss. Oh, really? Yeah, and apparently someone has made a plaque on the bin outside this McDonald's saying
Starting point is 00:39:53 on this day in 1997 Prime Minister Scott Morrison shat himself in a McDonald's bathroom. I like the news. It says, the unabridged tale of ScoMo shitting himself for Engadine Maccas. Incredibly Australian.
Starting point is 00:40:14 Engadine, yeah. Engadine, yeah. I think I'm pronouncing it right. It's definitely spelled Engadine. Engadine. I'd be surprised if it's Angerdine. Ah, the Macadangerdine, yes. Let's see, what is the story? It was after a sports match of some kind.
Starting point is 00:40:38 Yes. They sit round a table at Engadine Macca's. Cronulla Sharks and Brisbane Broncos had been playing. Cronulla Sharks. Brisbane Broncos had been playing. Cronulla Sharks. That's such an Australian phrase. The Cronulla Sharks. He must have been drinking, right? Did he poop out
Starting point is 00:40:56 of celebration or out of protest? No, his team lost apparently so maybe out of fury. Yeah, fury poo. I wonder if this is Engadine Maccas I wonder if this is true But how did he It must have been a booze thing right
Starting point is 00:41:13 Surely There's some great graffiti of it though What does the graffiti say Oh it's just It's just Scott Morrison's face with Engadine Maccas over the front. It's good stuff. It's good stuff.
Starting point is 00:41:32 As if it's his slogan for life. Let's see. Go back to the email. Come on, Gmail. Be better. I thought it might be up your alley, pun intended. Someone even erected a plaque outside, said McDonald's. There you go, yeah. I genuinely hope this rumor is true he's certainly done some
Starting point is 00:41:47 shitty things in his time like screwing up the vaccine rollout and sending us into long-term lockdown in sydney so i figure it's time he pays his dues or doodles thoroughly the stupidest thing i think i'm aware of any western country doing during the whole pandemic and i include the uk in that was only buying astrazeneca and then telling everyone it was dangerous amazing truly sensational diplomacy good stuff scomo as an aside have you noticed how americans say do do do do do diligence it sounds like do do diligence and it never fails to remind me of Bud Pod. You gotta do-do diligence. I've got really
Starting point is 00:42:30 regular shitting. I work on my do-do diligence. Eat more fiber. I've attached an article about the Prime Minister's faux poo for your poo-rusel. Koji, Aaron. P.S. I've pre-ordered. Pre-ordered, she says. A copy of Phil's book is a birthday present for myself
Starting point is 00:42:45 And I can't wait to read some side-splitting tales Oh great Hopefully he's really done it all Good stuff Hopefully you're mid-order at this point Or post-order Post-order? Yes it must be Post-order
Starting point is 00:42:59 Must be Bacon White That's in my head now because i just saw that email again bacon why oh i love you um i hope people enjoyed the bacon white song was a bacon white song in last week's it was in the vip area so maybe yes another teaser guys i i know i'm biased guys but i honestly think it's worth four quid just to hear the Bacon White song because Phil's really crooning out some good stuff. Yeah, the bonus part has some good shit in it,
Starting point is 00:43:33 quite literally, and I recommend it. I've already got a spicy convo in the chamber for this week's. Ooh. Yeah. Inspired by a... Philip. Convo in the chamber for this week's Oh! Inspired by a inspired by an art exhibit I went to on the weekend
Starting point is 00:43:51 Oh shit, okay, so it's cultured as well It is! Well, that's our MO That's true, I think that's fair Spicy poopy Spicy poopy culture Highbrow, lowbrow That's fair. Spicy poopy culture. High brow, low brow. That's what we do and we know how.
Starting point is 00:44:13 Okay, so Ellie gets in touch. Ellie. I'm sure I've done smelly Ellie before. Hope you're welly, Ellie. Yeah, that's good. That's nice. Hope you're welly, Ellie. Hope you're welly, Hope you're welly Ellie
Starting point is 00:44:25 So Ellie says Dear P and Poo Nice Classic Good stuff She says I love the podcast Honestly I've listened to it an ungodly amount I think even one episode of this podcast
Starting point is 00:44:42 Is an ungodly amount Yes While being trapped in student halls I think even one episode of this podcast is an ungodly amount yes while being trapped in student halls you boys have provided endless smelly entertainment I reckon I've listened to every episode at least four times wow wow wow hope the degree didn't suffer too badly
Starting point is 00:44:57 physicians do not recommend podcast listeners hate her this one lady podcast listeners hate her This one lady Podcast listeners hate this one lady For her weird trick Of listening to four times Budpod One weird trick
Starting point is 00:45:17 Making me a strong contender as one of your most Defecated Pistorians Very good Marvellous I've been meaning to write in for a while now, and then the other day, I shit myself. It wasn't devastating enough for this podcast,
Starting point is 00:45:34 but I knew it was a sign to finally send you an email. I'd love to know the moment Ellie decided, no, this is bad but it's not bad enough Yeah, but also like Oh, this isn't bad enough, but I will email them Thanks, bum
Starting point is 00:45:52 Very humble Some people may think that Budpod is just two comedic chaps recounting poopy tales and laughing at politicians but this podcast is spreading awareness about poop-related problems That's true a seriously underrepresented topic in the media here's how phil's experience has helped me and my family oh i'm listening i like that sentence it's like from a something where you're running for office yeah i. I'm Phil Lang, and I approve this message.
Starting point is 00:46:28 So she says, deep in the middle of lockdown, my elderly and disabled granddad was required to give a stool sample for testing. As he could not get a sample on his own, my mom had to do it. She was dreading the experience and had no idea how to obtain the poo without getting too personal with her father-in-law. Yeah, it's a tough one. Oh, it's a rough one. Oh, it's a rough one. Oh, it's a rough one, I tell ya. Aha, I thought.
Starting point is 00:46:49 I told her of the infamous Bud Poo episode and Phil's use of a poo hammock to catch the plop. Yes, of course. Well, the kit should have come with it. Well, this is the thing. I sound like... I don't know. I sound like I'm a train spotter for poop tests. This should have been a catching hammock with the set.
Starting point is 00:47:13 You should write to the manufacturer, because I think... Yeah. So she knew what must be done. She bought some cling film and fashioned a hammock over the toilet. The specimen lay comfortably on the sheet, and my mum remained blessedly distant from any old man bums oh fantastic oh i'm i'm genuinely chuffed to hear that that is good so a big thank you from my mum and i hope this serves as proof that the podcast is educational educational and a feminist text fill in one day gosh maybe we're
Starting point is 00:47:41 getting ahead of ourselves has has Bud Pod become too intellectual? Has Bud Pod become too woke? This is, yeah, the latest in this week's Atlantic. Has Bud Pod become too woke? Bud Pod has become woke to attract younger listeners. It's a good thing, but have they gone too far? Quillette. has become woke to attract younger listeners.
Starting point is 00:48:04 It's a good thing, but have they gone too far? Quillette. The preview of this article is available on Unheard, but sign up to my sub stack for the full analysis. I will continue to enjoy telling people weird facts I've learned from Bud Pod, even if they're not 100% fact. I can't wait to tell someone about London bus drivers' phantom vibrations in their butt. Oh, great.
Starting point is 00:48:30 I'd forgotten about that. Keep Spreading the Turd. Very nice. About bowel ailments and toilet adventures. Very good. Keep Spreading the Turd. Ardently Jacking It. Very nice. Ardently jacking it.
Starting point is 00:48:46 Ellie. P.S. I'm a total Pierre girl. It's those melodic tones, bebe. Oh, wow. Yes. Hooray. Hey, enjoy it. Enjoy it. They are melodic, mellifluous tones. Mellifluous tones. Poop-wise. Well, now it's time
Starting point is 00:49:02 for me to take my poopy tones over to the scat club that is the vip patreon yes yes do come in do subscribe to the patron for some spicy meter balls delish and of course thank you very much for listening yeah yeah extra sketch yep yep correcto uh but see you in the bonus pod, or see you next week. See you next week. Bye. Bye.

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