BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 181 - Royalty Chat!

Episode Date: September 14, 2022

The lads talk about The Event Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....

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Starting point is 00:00:00 As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors, like high blood pressure developed during pregnancy, which can put us two times more at risk of heart disease or stroke. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca. It's BudPod 181. 181 Staycation Fun. 181 Staycation Fun Pierre and I are currently on holiday in Cornwall at the tip of this country
Starting point is 00:00:31 this beautiful country of ours the Celtic fringe or centre if you're Celtic and although we are on holiday with a bunch of great guys and gals Budpod doesn't go on holiday nope, very rarely anyway we brought Budpod on holiday with us.
Starting point is 00:00:46 Yeah. It begged to come as we were leaving the house. It said, no, take me, take me. Travel size Budpod. Yeah, this is travel size Budpod. You can get them at WH Smith. Yeah, yeah. It's a pocket size bum that opens up and...
Starting point is 00:01:02 Three magnetic plastic poops. Yeah, so you don't lose them and they don't slide off the board when there's turbulence or the ship lists to one side very handy to have with you at all times has anything happened recently
Starting point is 00:01:22 they've changed the meaning of the word staycation apparently people are annoyed Has anything happened recently? They've changed the meaning of the word staycation, apparently. People are annoyed. Oh, yeah? Apparently it's supposed to mean staying in your house. Oh, right. But I'd never heard that version of it until... Yes, but in a globalized world, one's house is... Yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:41 The meaning of a house has become bigger, right? Do you know who has a big house? President of the United States? Yeah, pretty big house White House. Yeah. Oh, and the queen, the queen, the queen died. Yeah. It finally happened. Oh, yeah, I it's Yeah, it Yeah yeah i can't believe it finally happened and so quickly it makes me i always think of this hemingway how him what hemingway said about going bankrupt he died quickly little sorry he died quickly yeah but he said of you know he said of going
Starting point is 00:02:18 bankrupt happened little by little and then all at once and god the queen she went in a day in the end and did you have this feeling when when the news started coming in i i was like my feeling was oh no i'm too busy for the queen to die today oh like like it was um like no no another thing to think about yeah yeah yeah i always assume these things will happen when we've all got a bit of time yeah i i watched the initial um coverage switching from who knows what's going on like they were talking really slowly yeah and then i watched the switch over to confirmation and then like the pre-arranged video and then i was sort of satisfied because i knew that for the
Starting point is 00:03:11 rest of the day it would just be montages montages and people who don't know anything guessing and that's fine whereas i thought i'd be good it's good to watch the moment where the switch over where you go oh you know i i saw it you could say yeah because otherwise it is just people on the bbc telling you what a queen is yeah or just incredibly slowly uh just you know describing gates yeah very splendid gates yeah i mean i don't envy them that job, but it is silly that they... I suppose they can't look away, can they? Because they don't want to be caught in between. Squirrels learn to play the piano in Buckinghamshire,
Starting point is 00:03:54 where Her Majesty has passed. You don't want to be doing any handbrake turns on a day like that. Yeah, you really can't. And so you just have to keep looking at some gates going of course the queen is a monarch female monarch um she became the queen when her father died the father the king of course father the king a male monarch it was male so when when when the is male, they're called the king.
Starting point is 00:04:29 And when they're female, there's quite Trumpian, I see. When they're male, they're called the king. When they're female, they're called the queen. I don't know who decided on that. Yeah, rolling. This is what they do. Rolling gibberish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Someone whose brain is just constantly just going like, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Starting point is 00:04:43 Just like a lawnmower someone's left on just constant yeah I was honestly surprised by the lack of insane hysteria yes you're almost disappointed
Starting point is 00:04:59 yeah well there's some dog shit poetry being shared some unhinged people going to Buckingham Palace when she was not. When Windsor. And Windsor. People travelling half an hour just to stand outside a building that she's not in to sort of look at it. A very, as I said to you, 14th century mindset. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:22 Of like, well, this is where the proclamation will be read out by the liveried man and you're like well i mean you're not wrong but you have a phone yeah like you have a news channel on a television in your house i'm always amazed by i always wonder who these people are the ones who turn up at um buckingham palace during a royal event or or um fucking uh tower bridge on new year's eve yeah or and you go wait are these extras are these are these extras of life because you can't imagine them living individual lives they only exist to me as crowds because they go to things that should have a crowd but you as an individual would never want to be a part of that crowd and you would know that there will be a crowd because that's what it's they're famous for yeah it's
Starting point is 00:06:08 being a really crowded event like tower bridge on new year's eve but i and i can imagine the crowds going but i can't imagine individuals deciding to go i can't imagine someone booking time off work to loiter outside a royal event dressed like that yeah and getting there early enough to get to the front like i always think this you know that when when the royals turn up uh a buckingham palace if something's happened like this time with charles king charles um uh he turned up and he's shaking the hands of all these people who are at the gates, these barriers reaching over. But of course, those people are the most insane
Starting point is 00:06:51 because they turned up earliest to make sure they were at the barrier so that they could shake Charles III's hand. Yes. So I always think, does the royal family think all people are fucking insane because they've only met the ones
Starting point is 00:07:07 who turn up early enough to get to the barriers and not only are they the ones who are nuts enough to turn up at all but they're the ones nuts enough to turn up early enough to get to the front do you think that that
Starting point is 00:07:19 and these are the only people the royals meet do you think that that is the ultimate security protection for them is that they're like yeah isis are dedicated but they're not as dedicated as these fucking weirdos and these weirdos form a kind of fanatically loyal flesh barrier between us and the actual public slash terrorists yeah all these terrorists like around the perimeter turning up like Excuse me Excuse me Could I Can I just squeeze past
Starting point is 00:07:47 Yeah with a big rucksack No Never get to the front That must Yeah they must Do you think I often think this You know there's that old joke
Starting point is 00:07:59 Where like everywhere the queen went Smelt like fresh paint Oh yeah And I sort of think Well You know she does the royal family do do enough grubby things that that's not true like sweaty island visiting prince andrew sorry not sweaty yeah i mean he was in the army for a bit and like i imagine that even if you're a prince other people in like army barracks kind of give
Starting point is 00:08:23 you a bit of a kicking yeah you know or a bit rough around you or if you go like if you're a prince, other people in army barracks kind of give you a bit of a kicking. Yeah. You know, or a bit rough around you. Or if you're like a young prince at a boarding school, I'm pretty sure someone's going to try and slap you over the back of the head pretty hard, right? Imagine if you could bully
Starting point is 00:08:39 a prince, basically is what I'm saying. Like, sure, come on. Yeah, you take the opportunity. It has to have happened. So they must have experienced things that aren't that were not perfectly curated but then are those are those do they just go like um like if they're at a traffic light and someone beeps them is that so like they've experienced it but is it like how what an incredibly rude crazy person like do they still think it's much more rare than it is um yeah i reckon so because i reckon things like um you know their army training and getting sort of bullied a bit in the barracks it must feel it must be the equivalent of one of us say
Starting point is 00:09:18 going to the london dungeons and someone goes yeah i'm yeah i'm! And you go, this is fun, isn't it? Imagine if this was all the time. Imagine if I really was executed by a witch. Yeah, imagine it's the equivalent to that, right? Yeah. A simulation of normal life that makes you more grateful for your royal life
Starting point is 00:09:48 yeah so when something rude happens outside of that context where they'd expect a little rough treatment i was still i would think that's still a shock yeah yeah because i because it would be insane statistically to think they'd never experienced it but I think it makes more sense to me that they would be like 90% more put out as in like shocked and see it as unusual that man told me to hurry up
Starting point is 00:10:15 what a rude man that kind of thing I reckon some royals are more like that than others Andrew definitely gives me that vibe yeah spoiled spoiled evil king i mean yeah and you can see it in emily maitlis interview yeah where he's so clueless yeah by the real world that he you know he he he puts him he he he basically Basically, he gives himself the worst performance, the worst defense of his case imaginable.
Starting point is 00:10:53 Yes, yeah. And afterwards, reportedly, thinks it had gone well. Yeah, I mean... And I think you have to be sort of Disney villain level Clueless He has powerful Joffrey energy Yes Joffrey Exactly He's got very powerful
Starting point is 00:11:15 But mummy said I could And you know who she is That kind of vibe Whereas Charles seems to get it a little more Yeah He seems to get it a little more yeah he seems to have uh maybe if you're the actual air you suffer a bit more because people are constantly going you can't do that yeah watch out yeah we have a we have a king now yeah i was i was saying last night how fucked up it sounds in my head, saying, send him victorious.
Starting point is 00:11:48 Yeah, on the drive over here, we listened to... Happy and glorious. We listened to a rendition of God Save the King on Radio 4, and it was odd. That's so weird. Yeah. I feel like I'm in a graphic novel when someone says God Save the King. And we're in an Alan Moore universe now. Yeah, it's very V for Vendetta here in God Save the King. Yeah, God save the king. And we're in an Alan Moore universe now.
Starting point is 00:12:05 Yeah, it's a very V for Vendetta here in God save the king. Yeah, God save the king. Send him victorious, happy and glorious. Is it gay to wish another man to be happy and glorious? To be sent happy and glorious. Well, there's a new line now.
Starting point is 00:12:23 After send him victorious, we all have to sing no homo. Yeah. Send him victorious, no homo. Happy and glorious, bro. Long to reign over us, God save the king. Is it a sign of a kind of remaining innate sexism that it feels more grovelly to sing it about a man? I was just about to say it feels a lot more toxic.
Starting point is 00:12:49 God Save the King sounds so much more toxic. Yeah. God Save the Queen, although there was always something inherently obsequious about it, about saying God Save the Queen, at least it was a lady. So there's some element of... She's probably
Starting point is 00:13:07 nice. Yes, and also look at us, proclaiming our loyalty to a woman at the head of the state. But now that it's a man, it's just full-on groveling. You're right. It feels sort of Central Asian, like
Starting point is 00:13:22 who was the guy in charge of uh i guess the the turkmen turkmenibashi he changed his name you're on your own like master of all the turkmen turkmenistan right right he built a revolving gold statue of himself so it was always looking at the sun it's a bit like that it feels a bit sat on a lazy susan yeah yeah if someone wanted his attention they had to reach out and turn him around. Oh, and right. As someone else was reaching for him and they go,
Starting point is 00:13:48 no, no, you, you, you go, you talk to him. And he just has a neutral face spinning around. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:56 Like an efficiency thing. That's some sort of Silicon Valley guy would install in his office. It's a busy Susan. Busy Susan. Busy Susan susan it revolves really quickly busy susan um yeah long long to reign over us yeah that sounds bad now yeah please daddy reign over us it's kinky god save the king is kinky god save the god save god save the king so a little k in at the end there Any schoolboys listening? Bit of a laugh there for you
Starting point is 00:14:27 What do you mean? They can just say God save the kink Oh yeah yeah yeah King Just at the end Can't do that with Queen Yeah yeah Queen
Starting point is 00:14:38 I guess I'm getting used to Yeah it's pretty strange But I was disappointed by the lack of hysteria I think I was expecting captain tom levels of national madness but i think um a lot of that was lockdown i think a lot of that was that people had been stuck in their houses going like cabin fever stir crazy for months can you imagine if she died during lockdown. Can you imagine the madness that would have emanated from the British public? The memes. It would have been insane.
Starting point is 00:15:10 The papier-mâché heads. No, no. Maybe, actually, it's also her status. Like the level of like, show some respect, you know, that there is. Yeah. Which stops people from making a papier-mâché version of her head and walking slowly with some sticks. Yes. Because with Captain Tom,
Starting point is 00:15:27 it became incredibly distasteful and over-familiar and offensive. Maybe also an element of the Captain Tom thing was because his legacy was raising all this money for the NHS, which was donated by the British public. So there's an element of sort of self-congratulation. Yes, and also it was two religions at once. Maybe three. So it was NHS religion.
Starting point is 00:15:47 Yeah. It was World War II religion. Yeah. And just like old people raising money for charity religion. Yeah. A lovely old people religion. Yeah. So that's three.
Starting point is 00:15:55 Yeah. Whereas the Queen is just the Queen. And kind of a bit World War II, but not the same way as Captain Tom. No, no, no. Yeah, she's more history generally. History brackets general. Yeah. Star footnote at the bottom. Also, World War II.
Starting point is 00:16:13 Yeah, and I guess she's more associated with the Empire than Captain Tom was. Yeah, but in an official capacity, I suppose, anyway. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so people feel a little more feel a little more complicated about that whereas because tom was just world war ii people that's more simple thing although i would say that the people who tend to go full ape on these things are not the kind of people who feel uncomfortable about the empire no but i mean but i think quite the opposite yeah yeah yeah but i think where that means like it's more official and it's more to do with the establishment it's more to establish power that's for sure because captain tom is like a plucky pensioner
Starting point is 00:16:55 yeah it's very britain's got talent finalist also the other thing is people have left less time to uh gush we're out of lockdown people have less time to gush and also we have less time to see the gushing yeah that's true so because we were on the internet ourselves all the time yeah captain tom's after captain tom's death we were seeing everything it's yeah it's it's that and just yeah if you put everyone under house arrest for six months and then feed them lovely heartwarming stories about someone and then kill them off. They lose their fucking minds. The writing on this season of the UK, Pierre,
Starting point is 00:17:29 has been wild. We got tagged in a few of those. I can't believe they killed off a main character. Is this the season finale of the UK? It's so gross. Oh, God. The crown has gotten a bit strange at Netflix. I just react like a werewolf touching silver by accident to those things.
Starting point is 00:18:04 I just hate them so much. A lot of bad takes around. Oh, roughly bad takes. I love a world event that activates the bad takes. A lot of people seem to think that the Queen had a personal hand in the Northern Irish troubles. I've seen a bit of that. Yeah, or that she personally waged every war of the last
Starting point is 00:18:28 70 years. As if she wasn't the monarch that basically reigned over the last remnants of the empire, dismantling themselves. Yeah. And just sort of went, well, good luck, and went back to bed. I'm sure she would rather have kept it yeah but nevertheless but she
Starting point is 00:18:48 literally can't do anything about it no um no she can't the the i'm not one of these people who thinks the monarchy has no power i'm not naive uh but i think their power is entirely um diplomatic uh economic and sort of internal so they have power abroad in the sense that they can probably get sweetheart deals and all kinds of investment things or you know trade deals and stuff it's good to send them to talk to the saudis or whoever that's power and they're powerful in the sense that they can literally exempt themselves from laws that get passed oh really yes queen's consent i'm sure i've sent you the articles about this well i've not read them so um parliamentary assent uh and like queens like the the royal
Starting point is 00:19:35 assent is when parliament passes a law and the queen says yes that's a law and signs it so everyone's like oh she could never say no though she could never say no there's a different thing that's royal assent there's a different thing called queen's consent which now will be king's consent which is that laws that might affect the royal household yep are sent to the royal family in advance before parliament gets to the point of debating them right and they can fiddle them right so there's loads of really strict laws in Scotland about green regulations about farmland and sort of drainage pipes and stuff.
Starting point is 00:20:11 And royal land is completely exempt. Yeah. Well, you've got to give them a little something something. They've got more somethings than enough. Yeah, but give them some more. No. Give them. No, no.
Starting point is 00:20:23 Give them. So that's what people don't realise is that it goes, now King's consent, Queen's consent, then Parliament, then Royal Assent. So everyone's like,
Starting point is 00:20:33 oh, but the Royal Family has to agree to pass the laws. And it's like, yeah, I'd agree to pass a law I'd already crossed out the bit where it says Pierre pays taxes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Obviously I'd pass that law.
Starting point is 00:20:43 But is there any limit to this can they say can they just cross out the bit that says they can't kill anybody it is only um things that i think will affect royal estates or the royal household so a lot of it is like rural stuff or property stuff or so it's more about like royal family inc the business side yeah i mean to be honest if one of them did murder someone it would be pretty it'd be a brave judge it'd be a brave yeah i'm employed by the queen and i sentenced you hang on a minute that's my boss yeah yeah it would cause a constitutional crisis yeah um but yeah so they they have a lot of power in that sense but they don't have any a lot of the sort
Starting point is 00:21:24 of tanky weirdos who pop up on twitter here and then seem to think they have a lot of power in that sense, but they don't have any... A lot of the sort of tanky weirdos who pop up on Twitter here and then seem to think they have some kind of indirect military power, like it's the 1700s. As opposed to just having the power to say, not me, like, tag, tag, you're it, not me,
Starting point is 00:21:40 when it comes to just various fees, levies, responsibilities. Yeah. And they're immune to inheritance tax. Ah. But they've got so much inheritance. And yet. Yes, yeah. So that naughtiness will keep going.
Starting point is 00:21:53 Also, a lot of the stuff only came out, and Prince Charles was a big fiddler of laws and ministers and things. The spider letters, if you look them up, spider letters, Prince Charles. And all that came out because, for a little window of time, the royal family, to an extent, were subject to the Freedom of Information Act. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:22:12 And then all this stuff came out, and everyone went, and changed it so they're not now. When was that? What was the stuff that came out? The spider letters. The spider letters? Yeah, because of his handwriting is all spidery.
Starting point is 00:22:23 That was their nickname. It's Prince Charles writing to ministers saying do this or don't do this or I heartily recommend you do this. Yeah, in spider language. Prince Charles would be found in the upper corner of one of their bedrooms
Starting point is 00:22:38 the ministers, in a royal web. He would stick his head out out of the web and go and if you wouldn't mind not texting my land and they go ah and then he'd go please tell us away out the window and you remember when there was that minister in parliament who um he stood up to speak and then his chest exploded and hundreds of little spiders burst out of his chest
Starting point is 00:23:08 with Prince Charles' face? That was the spider-let. Oh, that's what that was. That was part of it. I thought that was weird. I thought that was weird when I saw it. And everyone had to applaud because technically the little spiders were royal.
Starting point is 00:23:19 Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone had to go. Yeah, they don't have to pay web tags. They don't have to pay web tags. They don't have to pay web tax. And they can lay their eggs in an oak once a year. It's another little privilege that they get. Yeah, it's... The idea, though, as we say a lot of the bad takes,
Starting point is 00:23:38 like, did you know while Queen Elizabeth was in charge that the SAS shot these guys in Gibraltar. And you go, she's not a mob boss. Like, if anything, the version of the royal family you're describing is absolutely to the tastes of like Nigel Farage or whatever. That's what they wish it was. You both have that in common. You both wish it was more like this.
Starting point is 00:24:01 Yeah, you both got the same fantasy. You're just on different sides of the same fantasy. Yeah, whereas what it really is, is just some fairly dull people every now and then lifting a finger to make sure that things stay nice and easy.
Starting point is 00:24:15 Nice and smooth. And that's why Queen Elizabeth's catchphrase was, keep it easy. Raise a finger. I always loved how she did that. Keep it easy. Keep it easy raise a finger i always loved how she did that she raised one finger keep it easy and she got that growl that's a vocal fry keep it easy keep it easy and she would um she would do that and raise a finger and very slowly press the finger onto the lips of whoever was talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:24:48 Yeah. Like that crazy guy who broke into Buckingham Palace. That's how she kept him calm. Yeah. Keep it easy. Hang on to his face. And he did. Yeah. A lot of her power was her ability to just say, keep it easy,
Starting point is 00:25:01 and place a finger on the man's lips. Keep it easy. That's what she did to Tony Blair yeah as he was resigning did you feel yourself going crazy at any point were you about to go go out and buy a load of flowers and jam them into the gates of Buckingham Palace
Starting point is 00:25:24 no no go out and buy a load of flowers and jam them into the gates of Buckingham Palace? No. No. No, because I don't take part in spectacles of any kind. You're famously anti-spectacle. I'm anti-spectacle, unless they're on my face. Oh. Unless they help me see. You'll take part in a couple of them couple of pairs
Starting point is 00:25:45 those spectacles I like but no I I was I was sad but in that kind of in the kind of sadness of like you knew this was coming
Starting point is 00:26:01 and yeah you know I'm probably well, you knew this was coming. I'm probably more along the royalist... I'm closer to royalist than you are. I'm not royalist, but I'm closer than you are. And I think losing that constant feels sad. Losing a constant in a very unstable world, it feels sad. And that made me feel sad yeah losing a constant in a very unstable world it's feel sad and that made me feel sad i'm i'm becoming more royalist not intellectually or philosophically but through exhaustion oh yeah grinding you down wearing you down grinding me down and my total lack of faith
Starting point is 00:26:41 in the british public's ability to choose a sane alternative yes where it's like if you if we get rid of this then i can just picture all the same weirdos just going well mega queen and just like a double sized version of the craziness that came before yeah i do think that if you gave a lot of the population the chance they would just vote to have like an even more powerful version yes i. I also think that the royal family's part, and maybe this is nonsense, but I think it's part of the reason we're able to be so secular,
Starting point is 00:27:15 is we sort of transferred the religious fervor that we'd otherwise have to the royal family. And the state religion. Yes, yes, yeah. And I think that's why people, like you say, go to buildings where she isn't. Because it's a religious impulse they have. Yeah, so that's the other thing,
Starting point is 00:27:35 is through the exhaustion of accepting that these urges exist in people, and that it's quite useful to decant them into a kind of side barrel. Like a carbon sink. It has to go somewhere. Yeah. And it might as well go somewhere relatively harmless.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Yes. We've moved the Wetherspoons of Imperial Nostalgia to that side of the street. They're all over there now. Exactly. Drinking it in. It's like when someone goes, Oh no, the horrible pub is gone.
Starting point is 00:28:03 Oh yeah, the horrible pub is gone. I'm like, no, no, that was good. That's where the dickheads were. Yeah, the horrible pub now, its denizens will be dispersed. Through all the nice pubs. Exactly. Or just the road. If every All Bar One was gone tomorrow, every other pub would get measurably worse.
Starting point is 00:28:21 That's actually, yeah. Maybe I do like them in a kind of patronizing patronizing flypaper sort of way. Yeah, exactly. Maybe that's a safe place for all those nutters who would otherwise be like the people who sit and do oil
Starting point is 00:28:38 paintings of Donald Trump descending from heaven. Do you think if we abolished the royal family, church attendance would go up because people would suddenly be craving a bit more sort of robes a bit of gold a bit of gold and just and just like a figurehead just a sort of slightly mythical mystical figurehead something very old something that that connects us to our past well you know i mean if we abolish the royal family's governmental role,
Starting point is 00:29:08 they kind of still would be head of Church of England if Church of England wanted it. And then they would become this kind of like, it'd be like the Aga Khan. Very slow to warm up. The Aga Khan. The Aga Khan, yeah. Once you get to know him. Oh, he's hot.
Starting point is 00:29:32 Yeah. Yeah. But he's like the head of a particular is it i think shia shia branch of islam right he's their like religious head but he doesn't have like a domain anymore or he did so he's this kind of almost like freelance royal and religious figure digital nomad he's the original digital nomad yeah so maybe that's the queen would just become this the king rather now prince charles would be this kind of like roaming harvest festival guy king charles king charles yeah yeah but he would just be like going up and down the country like doing c of e stuff bake sales yeah um and i do like look i like i like tradition and i like stability it's just i get annoyed when i see someone like prince andrew benefiting from it yeah that's the bit i don't like yeah
Starting point is 00:30:13 you have to take every system has its scrounges yeah that's true yeah and uh yeah yeah i mean i mean people you know people say that charles might sort of shrink the family little might sort of they've always said he wants to jettison off yeah the the minor royals which i think would be a good yeah i think there are too many royals there there's two like the duke and duchess of like kent and stuff where you just go who uh yeah and you go yeah you go yeah just hive them off you know we don't need these hangers-on. Beatrice and Eugenie. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:30:47 Eugene, Eugenie. A streamline. Streamline, streamline, streamline. Yeah, they don't need... I mean, I guess they have security. I don't know. Do people even know who they are? It took me ages to figure out who's who.
Starting point is 00:30:59 Oh, yeah, I still don't know. Prince Edward. No one ever talks about Prince Edward. Yeah. No idea. He tried to be one ever talks about Prince Edward. Yeah. No idea. He tried to be a TV producer, I think. Oh. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:12 Maybe we could get him to... We'll pitch the TV version of Bud Pod to him. Yeah. Now that he's going to get cut out. Were you sad at all about the Queen? Did any of your Commonwealth instincts kick in? Yeah, I was more more i was sort of vaguely sad and patriotic sadder than you expected to be maybe yeah maybe only just i think it all
Starting point is 00:31:35 it's all been that's what's been surprising me is that it's all kind of been on the level of what i would have guessed right it's all been more muted than you'd expect Yeah, it wouldn't have been muted, just like predictable But you said that the hysteria is less than you expected it to be Yeah, what do I mean by predictable? I mean more like Moderate? Yeah, just everything happening in the kind of way that it's supposed to Everyone will be sad, then we'll do this, then we'll do this
Starting point is 00:32:02 Bing, bing, bing On schedule almost Yeah, yeah, yeah, i think that's right yeah it all feels surprising on schedule yeah yeah um yeah i was i mean it feels sort of like everyone knows what to do yeah and and as you say the commonwealth instinct is to is often to be more protective of these institutions because we've seen what life's like without stable institutions um yeah and the other thing always that pushes you to be more royalist is the kind of like sixth form anarchist takes that you see yeah yeah i'm glad she's dead or whatever and these are the same people who are like not often but not always but often the same people who are like uh i refuse to glory in the cadet
Starting point is 00:32:43 the death of muammar gaddafi yeah yeah you go okay well yeah well it's kind of like when you said back when when europe was poo-pooing gastrozenica vaccine and you're like it basically turned you into nigel farage whenever they did that yeah whenever they went on this vaccine who even knows if it works and i would just suddenly suddenly like my my trousers going like tweed or be like anamorphs but very simple yeah transition the ridges of corduroy popping on your clothes yeah i look down i've got a cigarette and a pint no no just into his horrible frog voice yeah yeah that's it exactly where like the opposition
Starting point is 00:33:24 to something is annoying or illogically put then you just immediately go well then you're dumb but then equally i don't follow on social media or regularly look at mad fucking royalist takes yeah i got pushed back towards republicanism in the british sense american listeners um by reading all the incredibly saccharine bad poems about the queen so you know who knows where this could end up phil maybe i should just make a decision based on principle and stick with it instead of being buffeted by the winds of other people's stupid opinions yeah yeah but we are we are other people we i like the idea of the life's extras, though. Life's extras, yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:06 People who are just pretty naturally attracted to areas that are supposed to be crowded. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll go there. Yeah, literally the audience members in Street Fighter. They exist in real life, and they just turn up at these events going... And if you watch one long enough on the TV,
Starting point is 00:34:24 you'll see they start repeating the routine Yeah Oh it's scripted Sip of tea Waving small union jack flag Union flag And she turns and says something to her friend And her friend shrugs
Starting point is 00:34:40 They're both scripted Would you have a full fucking mental breakdown If you did see that if you started seeing it you'd be pretty worried i yeah i'd be like oh no this is a simulation and it's not that good it's not that good it's got glitches we need a patch on our on the universe we need a flavor patch uh a little download where it's like new animations have been added for the background characters the community really responded well to that
Starting point is 00:35:10 how soon how many glitches would you have to see before you sought psychological help I think it would be just something that I bring up in therapy later on and I'd be like I mean for example I think it would be just something that I bring up in therapy later on. And I'd be like, yeah, so I just... I mean, for example... I mean, this is going to sound weird.
Starting point is 00:35:31 Like, for example, the other day I was watching the news and... People started repeating their movements. And the therapist is just like, oh, yeah. And then starts scribbling. She hasn't written anything down for a while and suddenly she's scribbling quite a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you realize that she's going, oh yeah, and just scribbling it.
Starting point is 00:35:50 Oh yeah. Then she's looping. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That would be the horror. No, no, no, no, no. No. Glitch! She's pointing at her.
Starting point is 00:35:59 Glitch! Pointing into her face. You're a glitch. And then her head goes like, and she's like, hi, Phil. Welcome out to today's session. I broke it. Witness one Phil Wang.
Starting point is 00:36:14 Yeah, that's real Twilight Zone stuff. Or she suddenly blinks and starts raising her arms like a Street Fighter person. She's cheering you on. Oh, no. The extras are glitching. The program's emerging. Yeah. It'd be very funny to have to explain what you think a glitch is to a therapist. Yeah, how soon would they be like, oh, we all...
Starting point is 00:36:35 This is beyond talking. Yeah. Terrifying. I'd wait a couple of days. Before you said anything. Before I said anything. For the first couple of days, you'd be like, I'm imagining. I'd be like couple of days before you said anything before I said anything for the first yeah a couple of days you'd be like
Starting point is 00:36:47 I'm imagining I'd be like I'm tired I'm I'm overtired I'll but then I would I would keep watching
Starting point is 00:36:54 like the news or anything with crowd shots Wimbledon just like yeah rewinding doing the Leonardo Leonardo DiCaprio
Starting point is 00:37:02 once upon a time in Hollywood meme of like you're seeing something on TV and go pointing yeah exactly in terror yeah that that would be terrifying yeah to watch someone in the but i like this idea life's extras they just go let's go to time square yeah yeah new york let's go there Let's go to the Eiffel Tower.
Starting point is 00:37:25 Yes. Who's going? Who's going to these places? Places where they have no instinctive understanding that it is the place everyone wants to go and therefore will be full of like tat shops and pickpockets. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:38 I had this feeling in Leicester Square. I went so... Yeah, Leicester Square. Another great example. I found out the Queen had died right after coming out of top gun maverick so you were ready to be patriotic yeah yeah i was able to transfer that american patriotism
Starting point is 00:37:57 onto the british patriotism quite readily but i came out i was worried it's going to happen while i was watching the topic on maverick yeah and i came out and I was worried it was going to happen while I was watching Topic on Maverick. Yeah. And I came out and I looked at my phone. No update. It was like, ah. And then literally then it went, ba-dum, the queen is dead. And I came out into the Leicester Square and it felt actually quite a fitting place to be. Because then I just got to walk around and look at life's extras. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:23 And seeing how they reacted. Because were they all on their phones everyone was like just from time to time you see someone look down at the phone and then sort of stop for a bit and just look quite sort of serious and pensive and then move on a lot a lot a lot of them were like tourists a lot of spanish tourists walking around not completely clueless they don't even know if they'd care really yeah um street performers i mean people weren't weren't really reacting vocally in any way i could pick up one girl walk as i was leaving the square one girl walked past me and i just had to go
Starting point is 00:38:55 she's just such a great lady oh yeah that felt very like simulation oh god save her majesty And then I saw one lady Walking and then looked down at her phone And just stopped in her tracks And then I looked over at her phone And she was looking at Google Maps She just got lost It was just pornography
Starting point is 00:39:20 It was just hardcore porn But then I just took a little walk around the center of London. And it was interesting. I was, you know, it felt quite lucky actually to be there when it happened. Because watching the small changes in London happen, as people find out the Queen had died. I walked past Liberty, that shop right by Oxford Circus. You know, a big old shop made out of an old ship liberty all these ancient wooden beams and panels and i as i walked past it a guy so i saw a guy taking a photo of something above our heads and looked up and they they were taking down the union
Starting point is 00:40:01 flags at a half mast half mast. And just tying them off. And, yeah, and that felt, we were just, last night we were just talking about this new thing that Gen Zers are saying, main character energy.
Starting point is 00:40:18 Yeah. Where you feel like you're the main character in the movie of life. Yeah. And that had real main character energy about it. I thought, you know, walking around,
Starting point is 00:40:24 watching London change in reaction to the news the news yeah and hearing people say things like such a great lady yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um yeah and and um the real mix in in seriousness of institution that was putting things at half mast putting flags at half mast because you yeah it's a funny time to find out what buildings have flags yeah just suddenly go like that pret has a flag very stressful day to be the flag guy yeah yeah we've been training for this i saw a video of um of you know dean street in soho there's like um like soho house i think has flags right and then like quo vardis one of those restaurants has got those union jacks
Starting point is 00:41:12 yeah union flags rather um and apparently like it there was like a race almost where like someone suddenly noticed that one of the two had already done it and the other one was like fuck the flags and i was like quick like shit like how do i imagine the guy's not in yeah the fly guy's not in i don't know flags it's very easy to forget you have a flag it's easy to forget you have a flag yeah and it's very hard to imagine from an outside perspective what strings lead to the desired outcome yeah it's like when you pull down a blind. Which one? Is it the one near me or the one away? Oh, God, I'm making it more fluttery.
Starting point is 00:41:50 Shit, that looks like we're happy. Yeah. No. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Someone turns the flag upside down. Oh, no, no, no. It just catches fire. You pull too hard and suddenly it's the ISIS flag.
Starting point is 00:42:02 What? No. Why would we even have that string? Stop making pictures, please! He's so stressed. Yeah. And then the BT Tower, there was a little thing in the sort of LED display that rotates around the top.
Starting point is 00:42:23 Yeah, and which is normally stock prices? Right is it yeah it became am i making that up is it a stock ticker or is it like temperature and time of day like i've never looked at it until when i looked up and it was a queen's face and the years of her life had like an eight bit queen yeah it was like like a game boy queen game boy queen yeah playable character and then original zelda very low res queen but i like a little gif also all the signs changed all the bus ads changed all these billboards you never noticed before suddenly they had all these pre um preset um images of the queen and then 1926 to 2022. Eh? 19... What year?
Starting point is 00:43:07 I think 26. Yeah. Born in? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I think so. 1926 to 1922. I was like, wow, they really... Gosh, these really have all been in the chamber
Starting point is 00:43:17 for a long time. Yeah. These billboards. Yeah. I mean, they must update them, what do you think, every year? Hmm. New photo or same photo for at least 10 years at a time yeah because if the photo is too old you look like you're trying to
Starting point is 00:43:31 you know but she goes on a diet or gets hench or something then they've got to change the if she gets an eye patch or a mustache yeah they go okay gonna have to update these billboards or hope for a lot of graffiti yeah also we Also, we drove out westwards out of London and a lot of the ads were just blank. Yeah. The ones they couldn't put the Queen's face on, they just... They hadn't thought about it.
Starting point is 00:43:54 Yeah. A very stressful flag moment for them. Yeah. Do we have any patriotic ads? British beef? Fuck! But then the adsler weren't changed. They were the ones that were just stuck on.
Starting point is 00:44:08 Yes, of course. Paper still is. It was just like, the queen has died. And then, forest rave. Garage rave. Zippo's circus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Mourns the loss of her majesty.
Starting point is 00:44:31 Yeah, all the crazy like those rave signs everywhere are really odd to me nothing's ever looked more like a trap to me yeah absolutely just go who's there it's like something from a from a warner brothers cartoon live sexers that's what life's that sign said there'd be a rave i'll go there these are the people we're talking about. What a revelation. I really love this term. Oh, life extras. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They feel like a group of people I'm very spiritually separate from.
Starting point is 00:44:55 Yes, absolutely. I'm one of life's extras in the scenes of movies where there's just a guy on the couch going, What? Yeah, so can you think of a time you've looked around and gone, Oh, no. I'm a life extra. I'm one of of life's extras i'm one of life's extras right now um when i walked past uh some people fighting on the tube right like two kids push shoving each other and having like a fight like in a tube station you feel like one of life's extras yeah because i'm walking past going oh oh right Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just getting my train. I'm not intervening.
Starting point is 00:45:27 Like, hey, guys, I am Tom Cruise trying to, like, fucking keep the peace. Yes. I'm an extra there because they're the ones fighting and I'm the one going, gracious, and, like, not even stopping. Yeah. Well, if you've ever stopped for a street performer, instant life extra. Instant one of life's extras. You feel like a whore?
Starting point is 00:45:41 Someone's beatboxing and you go, oh. And you've joined that sort of crescent of people You stand there Like when you hide in Assassin's Creed You blend in Threat goes down Or you go oh Clamp
Starting point is 00:45:56 Fire juggling Yeah Any cinema? Going to the cinema You feel a bit like that? If it's very full. If it's very full, you go, yeah, the busy cinema crowd. That's what I'm in now.
Starting point is 00:46:13 I feel a bit like that. The couple of times I've been to Glastonbury and gone to one of the stages. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, any festival. Any festival. Really. I did Hogmanay in Edinburgh one year for New Year's.
Starting point is 00:46:28 And that felt a bit life extra-y. Oh, the gym? Oh, yes, that's a good one. Gyms full of extras, you're an extra in the gym. Yeah, if you're one of a few people running on a treadmill. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that feels very much like an extra. If you're on your own on the treadmill, then you're a main character. Yeah, absolutely.
Starting point is 00:46:44 Like, no one else is even in the gym and here they train then you're rocky for their mission yeah yeah whereas especially in the weights room of my gym there's these three guys i can't believe i've never brought them up before they come in and they're like mates they're all like uh constantly being mates with each other at the gym yeah genuinely it's very um well they only ever come in as a three yeah the trio i call them and they're not young um oh they're not like pensioners but they're like 40s 50s 40 yeah like the youngest looking one is is 35 at youngest yeah and the oldest looking one is maybe 45 to 50 like there's actually
Starting point is 00:47:26 quite an one's a bit older and two are more of the same age and they're like very very like muscly in a kind of bouncer slash drug dealer sense yeah they're not balanced yeah you know and they do like very like a noisy pull-ups like slapping each other on the back like laughing too loudly no it's very much like they're the main characters from like cobra kai or whatever yeah they're from like the evil karate club they make all the rest of us uncomfortable with their loud noises yeah and just going like shut up you know but then I'm the extra going definitely gym clothes are all like black and red and your gym clothes are white and blue
Starting point is 00:48:11 yeah with like a little gold belt and they're very evil yeah, that's it, then I'm definitely an extra then I can't believe I've never mentioned those guys I find the dynamic really odd and it's during the day when I'm free
Starting point is 00:48:25 Because my job is evening What the fuck are they doing there And I think they might be criminals of some kind Because they're always using very cheap looking phones Oh interesting Sometimes they take phone calls in the weights room Where there's like It's like not a quiet room
Starting point is 00:48:42 There's music and groaning But they're still like On the phone They're very disruptive presence These guys sound like a nightmare It's like not a quiet room There's music and groaning But they're still like Yeah yeah yeah Like on the phone Fucking hell Yeah they're very disruptive presents These guys sound like a nightmare No I don't like it when the trio is in
Starting point is 00:48:51 They're in there for a long time They're in there when I arrive And they're in there when I leave Bloody hell Anyway Well that's all our time Oh gosh It's all our time
Starting point is 00:49:01 Flown by Royal commemorative edition It's been a historic episode god save the king i guess and if god has time the rest of us yeah god save the king um and and god save the rest of us no worries if not god worries if not god no worries if not if not obviously of course no worries if not god if even for a second adding us to that makes you want to do it less yeah or distracts from any of the time you spend saving the king. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:27 Don't do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We really mean that. And if by next week God hasn't saved the rest of us, I'm just going to send a little prayer saying, Hi, just checking you've seen this. Just saw the king got saved, so it's good that that's done. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:49:41 Now that that's done, is there any spare? Just let me know. I'll come pick it up myself. You don't have to worry. I won't put you out. I'd be fine if not, obviously. I'd be fine. You're busy.
Starting point is 00:49:54 Yeah. I understand that now that the king has ascended to heaven immediately in a shaft of light, there now has to be a new king and we have to save him. Yeah. So, look, I've got an entree too, buddy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:07 I get it. God, yeah. But God dang save that king. God save that king. Oh, God. And God save these two kings. Yeah. The Bud Pod kings. Yeah. oh god god save um these two kings yeah the bud pod kings yeah well um we we will we will be away next week we should say yes we are away filming together abroad which is very exciting filming
Starting point is 00:50:35 together abroad we have to get on a plane to go to do some filming we're leaving on a jet plane We do know when we'll be back again They sent a schedule Wait, we won't miss two Bud Pods, will we? Oh. I'm getting worried. Oh, no, I don't think so. No, we won't. We won't.
Starting point is 00:51:01 We won't. Phew. But it's very exciting. We can't say just yet what it is for, but I think you will enjoy. you'll like it a lot um if you like us being together bad news if you hate seeing us though because it is filmed yeah yeah that's true actually yeah i wonder if there are people for whom it'll be the first oh no there's our own picture on the on the podcast. There was that devastating message, though,
Starting point is 00:51:28 where someone said they imagined me wearing a hat. Easily the hardest I've ever been slammed in my life. It depends somewhat on the hat, but overall not a great assumption. There's such a small window of light there. Best case scenario, which hat? Like a beanie. Best case scenario like a beanie best case scenario a beanie that's a bad best case yeah the the little window of light is like uh you know in that prison bane is in like it's so
Starting point is 00:51:56 distant and high hat prison very few hats that you go oh great maybe a trucker cap like that's podcasters seem to wear those yeah but i don't like the idea that i i don't think i sound or seem like someone who would have anything to do with that but then that's our self images are always a lie well you do know who does have a new hat king charles god save him and god save him hopes he wears that hat nice good luck with the hat and good luck to all of you under the new regime
Starting point is 00:52:29 yes what does he say in V for Veneta Britain will prevail what does he say yeah I think it is is it Britain prevail Britain will prevail
Starting point is 00:52:40 yeah I think so okay yeah well Britain will prevail fingers crossed no repressions yes goodbye bye

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