BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 181 - Royalty Chat!
Episode Date: September 14, 2022The lads talk about The Event Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information....
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It's BudPod 181.
181 Staycation Fun.
181 Staycation Fun Pierre and I are currently on holiday
in Cornwall
at the tip of this country
this beautiful country of ours
the Celtic fringe or centre
if you're Celtic
and although we are on holiday
with a bunch of great guys and gals
Budpod doesn't go on holiday
nope, very rarely anyway
we brought Budpod on holiday with us.
Yeah.
It begged to come as we were leaving the house.
It said, no, take me, take me.
Travel size Budpod.
Yeah, this is travel size Budpod.
You can get them at WH Smith.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a pocket size bum that opens up and...
Three magnetic plastic poops.
Yeah, so you don't lose them
and they don't slide off the board when there's
turbulence or the ship lists
to one side
very handy to have with
you at all times
has anything happened recently
they've changed the meaning of the word staycation apparently people are annoyed Has anything happened recently?
They've changed the meaning of the word staycation, apparently.
People are annoyed.
Oh, yeah?
Apparently it's supposed to mean staying in your house.
Oh, right.
But I'd never heard that version of it until... Yes, but in a globalized world, one's house is...
Yeah.
The meaning of a house has become bigger, right?
Do you know who has a big house?
President of the United States? Yeah, pretty big house White
House. Yeah. Oh, and the queen, the queen, the queen died. Yeah.
It finally happened. Oh,
yeah, I it's Yeah, it Yeah yeah i can't believe it finally happened and so quickly it makes me
i always think of this hemingway how him what hemingway said about going bankrupt
he died quickly little sorry he died quickly yeah but he said of you know he said of going
bankrupt happened little by little and then all at once and god the queen she went in a day in the
end and did you have this feeling when when
the news started coming in i i was like my feeling was oh no i'm too busy for the queen to die today
oh like like it was um like no no another thing to think about yeah yeah yeah i always
assume these things will happen when we've all got a bit of time yeah i
i watched the initial um coverage switching from who knows what's going on like they were talking
really slowly yeah and then i watched the switch over to confirmation
and then like the pre-arranged video and then i was sort of satisfied because i knew that for the
rest of the day it would just be montages montages and people who don't know anything
guessing and that's fine whereas i thought i'd be good it's good to watch the moment where the
switch over where you go oh you know i i saw it you could say yeah because otherwise it is just people on the bbc telling you what a queen is
yeah or just incredibly slowly uh just you know describing gates yeah very splendid gates yeah
i mean i don't envy them that job, but it is silly that they...
I suppose they can't look away, can they?
Because they don't want to be caught in between.
Squirrels learn to play the piano in Buckinghamshire,
where Her Majesty has passed.
You don't want to be doing any handbrake turns
on a day like that.
Yeah, you really can't.
And so you just have to keep looking at some
gates going of course the queen is a monarch female monarch um she became the queen when
her father died the father the king of course father the king a male monarch
it was male so when when when the is male, they're called the king.
And when they're female, there's quite Trumpian, I see.
When they're male, they're called the king.
When they're female, they're called the queen.
I don't know who decided on that.
Yeah, rolling. This is what they do.
Rolling gibberish.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Someone whose brain is just constantly just going like, nah, nah, nah, nah.
Just like a lawnmower
someone's left on
just constant
yeah I was
honestly
surprised by the lack of
insane hysteria
yes you're almost disappointed
yeah well there's some dog shit poetry
being shared
some unhinged people going to Buckingham Palace when she was not.
When Windsor.
And Windsor.
People travelling half an hour just to stand outside a building that she's not in to sort of look at it.
A very, as I said to you, 14th century mindset.
Yeah.
Of like, well, this is where the proclamation will be
read out by the liveried man and you're like well i mean you're not wrong but you have a phone yeah
like you have a news channel on a television in your house i'm always amazed by i always wonder
who these people are the ones who turn up at um buckingham palace during a royal event or or um fucking uh tower bridge on new year's eve yeah or and you go
wait are these extras are these are these extras of life because you can't imagine them living
individual lives they only exist to me as crowds because they go to things that
should have a crowd but you as an individual would never want to be a part of that crowd
and you would know that there will be a crowd because that's what it's they're famous for yeah it's
being a really crowded event like tower bridge on new year's eve but i and i can imagine the
crowds going but i can't imagine individuals deciding to go i can't imagine someone booking
time off work to loiter outside a royal event dressed like that yeah and getting there early enough to get to the front
like i always think this you know that when when the royals turn up uh a buckingham palace if
something's happened like this time with charles king charles um uh he turned up and he's shaking
the hands of all these people who are at the gates,
these barriers reaching over.
But of course, those people are the most insane
because they turned up earliest
to make sure they were at the barrier
so that they could shake Charles III's hand.
Yes.
So I always think,
does the royal family think
all people are fucking insane
because they've only met the ones
who turn up early enough
to get to the barriers
and not only are they the ones
who are nuts enough to turn up at all
but they're the ones nuts enough
to turn up early enough
to get to the front
do you think that that
and these are the only people
the royals meet
do you think that that is the ultimate
security protection for them is that
they're like yeah isis are dedicated but they're not as dedicated as these fucking weirdos and
these weirdos form a kind of fanatically loyal flesh barrier between us and the actual public
slash terrorists yeah all these terrorists like around the perimeter turning up like Excuse me Excuse me Could I
Can I just squeeze past
Yeah with a big rucksack
No
Never get to the front
That must
Yeah they must
Do you think
I often think this
You know there's that old joke
Where like everywhere the queen went
Smelt like fresh paint
Oh yeah
And I sort of think
Well You know she does
the royal family do do enough grubby things that that's not true like
sweaty island visiting prince andrew sorry not sweaty yeah i mean he was in the army for a bit
and like i imagine that even if you're a prince other people in like army barracks kind of give
you a bit of a kicking yeah you know or a bit rough around you or if you go like if you're a prince, other people in army barracks kind of give you a bit of a kicking. Yeah. You know, or a bit
rough around you.
Or if you're like a young prince
at a boarding school,
I'm pretty sure someone's going to try and
slap you over the back
of the head pretty hard, right?
Imagine if you could bully
a prince, basically is what I'm saying.
Like, sure, come on.
Yeah, you take the opportunity.
It has to have happened. So they must have experienced things that aren't that were not perfectly curated but then are those are those do they just go like um like if they're at a
traffic light and someone beeps them is that so like they've experienced it but is it like
how what an incredibly rude crazy person like do they still think it's much more rare than
it is um yeah i reckon so because i reckon things like um you know their army training and getting
sort of bullied a bit in the barracks it must feel it must be the equivalent of one of us say
going to the london dungeons and someone goes yeah i'm yeah i'm! And you go, this is fun, isn't it?
Imagine if this was all the time.
Imagine if I really was executed
by a witch.
Yeah, imagine it's the equivalent
to that, right?
Yeah.
A simulation of normal life that makes you more grateful for your royal life
yeah so when something rude happens outside of that context where they'd expect a little
rough treatment i was still i would think that's still a shock yeah yeah because i because it would
be insane statistically to think they'd never experienced it but I think it makes more sense to me that they would be like
90% more put out
as in like
shocked and see it as unusual
that man told me
to hurry up
what a rude man
that kind of thing
I reckon some royals are more like that than others
Andrew definitely gives me that vibe
yeah spoiled spoiled
evil king i mean yeah and you can see it in emily maitlis interview yeah where he's so
clueless yeah by the real world that he you know he he he puts him he he he basically Basically, he gives himself the worst performance,
the worst defense of his case imaginable.
Yes, yeah.
And afterwards, reportedly, thinks it had gone well.
Yeah, I mean...
And I think you have to be sort of Disney villain level Clueless
He has powerful Joffrey energy
Yes Joffrey
Exactly
He's got very powerful
But mummy said I could
And you know who she is
That kind of vibe
Whereas Charles seems to get it a little more
Yeah He seems to get it a little more yeah
he seems to have uh maybe if you're the actual air you suffer a bit more because people are
constantly going you can't do that yeah watch out yeah we have a we have a king now yeah
i was i was saying last night how fucked up it sounds in my head, saying, send him victorious.
Yeah, on the drive over here, we listened to... Happy and glorious.
We listened to a rendition of God Save the King on Radio 4,
and it was odd.
That's so weird.
Yeah.
I feel like I'm in a graphic novel
when someone says God Save the King.
And we're in an Alan Moore universe now. Yeah, it's very V for Vendetta here in God Save the King. Yeah, God save the king. And we're in an Alan Moore universe now.
Yeah, it's a very V for Vendetta
here in God save the king.
Yeah, God save the king.
Send him victorious, happy and glorious.
Is it gay to wish another man
to be happy and glorious?
To be sent happy and glorious.
Well, there's a new line now.
After send him victorious, we all have to sing no homo.
Yeah.
Send him victorious, no homo.
Happy and glorious, bro.
Long to reign over us, God save the king.
Is it a sign of a kind of remaining innate sexism
that it feels more grovelly to sing it about a man?
I was just about to say it feels a lot more toxic.
God Save the King sounds so much more toxic.
Yeah.
God Save the Queen,
although there was always something inherently obsequious about it,
about saying God Save the Queen,
at least it was a lady.
So there's some element
of... She's probably
nice. Yes, and also
look at us,
proclaiming our loyalty to a woman
at the head of the state.
But now that it's a man, it's just full-on
groveling. You're right.
It feels sort of
Central Asian, like
who was the guy in charge of uh i guess the
the turkmen turkmenibashi he changed his name you're on your own like master of all the turkmen
turkmenistan right right he built a revolving gold statue of himself so it was always looking
at the sun it's a bit like that it feels a bit sat on a lazy susan yeah yeah if someone wanted
his attention they had to reach out and turn him around.
Oh,
and right.
As someone else was reaching for him and they go,
no,
no,
you,
you,
you go,
you talk to him.
And he just has a neutral face spinning around.
Yeah.
Like an efficiency thing.
That's some sort of Silicon Valley guy would install in his office.
It's a busy Susan.
Busy Susan. Busy Susan susan it revolves really quickly busy
susan um yeah long long to reign over us yeah that sounds bad now yeah please daddy reign over us
it's kinky god save the king is kinky god save the god save god save the king
so a little k in at the end there Any schoolboys listening?
Bit of a laugh there for you
What do you mean?
They can just say God save the kink
Oh yeah yeah yeah
King
Just at the end
Can't do that with Queen
Yeah yeah
Queen
I guess I'm getting used to
Yeah it's pretty strange
But I was disappointed by the lack of hysteria
I think I was expecting captain tom levels of national madness but i think um a lot of that was lockdown
i think a lot of that was that people had been stuck in their houses going like cabin fever
stir crazy for months can you imagine if she died during lockdown. Can you imagine the madness that would have emanated from the British public?
The memes.
It would have been insane.
The papier-mâché heads.
No, no.
Maybe, actually, it's also her status.
Like the level of like, show some respect, you know, that there is.
Yeah.
Which stops people from making a papier-mâché version of her head and walking slowly with some sticks.
Yes.
Because with Captain Tom,
it became incredibly distasteful and over-familiar and offensive.
Maybe also an element of the Captain Tom thing
was because his legacy was raising all this money for the NHS,
which was donated by the British public.
So there's an element of sort of self-congratulation.
Yes, and also it was two religions at once.
Maybe three.
So it was NHS religion.
Yeah.
It was World War II religion.
Yeah.
And just like old people raising money for charity religion.
Yeah.
A lovely old people religion.
Yeah.
So that's three.
Yeah.
Whereas the Queen is just the Queen.
And kind of a bit World War II,
but not the same way as Captain Tom.
No, no, no. Yeah, she's more history generally.
History brackets general.
Yeah. Star footnote at the bottom.
Also, World War II.
Yeah, and I guess she's more associated with the Empire than Captain Tom was.
Yeah, but in an official capacity, I suppose, anyway.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And so people feel a little more feel a little more complicated about
that whereas because tom was just world war ii people that's more simple thing although i would
say that the people who tend to go full ape on these things are not the kind of people who feel
uncomfortable about the empire no but i mean but i think quite the opposite yeah yeah yeah but i think where that means like it's more official and it's more to do with the establishment it's
more to establish power that's for sure because captain tom is like a plucky pensioner
yeah it's very britain's got talent finalist also the other thing is people have left less time to
uh gush we're out of lockdown people have less time to gush and also we have
less time to see the gushing yeah that's true so because we were on the internet ourselves all the
time yeah captain tom's after captain tom's death we were seeing everything it's yeah it's it's that
and just yeah if you put everyone under house arrest for six months and then feed them lovely
heartwarming stories about someone and then kill them off. They lose their fucking minds.
The writing on this season of
the UK, Pierre,
has been wild.
We got tagged in a few of those.
I can't believe they killed off a main character.
Is this the season finale of the UK?
It's so gross.
Oh, God.
The crown has gotten a bit strange at Netflix.
I just react like a werewolf touching silver by accident to those things.
I just hate them so much.
A lot of bad takes around.
Oh, roughly bad takes.
I love a world event that activates the bad takes.
A lot of people seem to think that the Queen had a personal hand
in the Northern Irish troubles.
I've seen a bit of that.
Yeah, or that she personally waged every war of the last
70 years.
As if she wasn't the monarch that
basically
reigned over the last
remnants of the empire, dismantling themselves.
Yeah. And just sort of went,
well, good luck, and went back to bed.
I'm sure she would rather have kept it yeah but nevertheless but she
literally can't do anything about it no um no she can't the the i'm not one of these people who
thinks the monarchy has no power i'm not naive uh but i think their power is entirely um diplomatic
uh economic and sort of internal so they have power abroad in the sense
that they can probably get sweetheart deals and all kinds of investment things or you know trade
deals and stuff it's good to send them to talk to the saudis or whoever that's power and they're
powerful in the sense that they can literally exempt themselves from laws that get passed
oh really yes queen's consent i'm sure i've sent you the articles about
this well i've not read them so um parliamentary assent uh and like queens like the the royal
assent is when parliament passes a law and the queen says yes that's a law and signs it
so everyone's like oh she could never say no though she could never say no there's a different
thing that's royal assent there's a different thing called queen's consent which now will be
king's consent which is that laws that might affect the royal household yep are sent to the
royal family in advance before parliament gets to the point of debating them right and they can
fiddle them right so there's loads of really strict laws in Scotland
about green regulations about farmland
and sort of drainage pipes and stuff.
And royal land is completely exempt.
Yeah.
Well, you've got to give them a little something something.
They've got more somethings than enough.
Yeah, but give them some more.
No.
Give them.
No, no.
Give them.
So that's what people don't realise
is that it goes,
now King's consent,
Queen's consent,
then Parliament,
then Royal Assent.
So everyone's like,
oh, but the Royal Family
has to agree to pass the laws.
And it's like,
yeah, I'd agree to pass a law
I'd already crossed out the bit
where it says Pierre pays taxes.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Obviously I'd pass that law.
But is there any limit to this can they say
can they just cross out the bit that says they can't kill anybody it is only um things that
i think will affect royal estates or the royal household so a lot of it is like rural stuff or
property stuff or so it's more about like royal family inc the business side yeah i mean to be
honest if one of them did murder someone it would
be pretty it'd be a brave judge it'd be a brave yeah i'm employed by the queen and i sentenced
you hang on a minute that's my boss yeah yeah it would cause a constitutional crisis yeah um but
yeah so they they have a lot of power in that sense but they don't have any a lot of the sort
of tanky weirdos who pop up on twitter here and then seem to think they have a lot of power in that sense, but they don't have any... A lot of the sort of tanky weirdos
who pop up on Twitter here
and then seem to think
they have some kind of indirect military power,
like it's the 1700s.
As opposed to just having the power to say,
not me, like,
tag, tag, you're it, not me,
when it comes to just various fees, levies, responsibilities.
Yeah.
And they're immune to inheritance tax.
Ah.
But they've got so much inheritance.
And yet.
Yes, yeah.
So that naughtiness will keep going.
Also, a lot of the stuff only came out,
and Prince Charles was a big fiddler of laws and ministers and things.
The spider letters, if you look them up,
spider letters, Prince Charles.
And all that came out because, for a little window of time,
the royal family, to an extent,
were subject to the Freedom of Information Act.
Oh, yeah.
And then all this stuff came out,
and everyone went,
and changed it so they're not now.
When was that?
What was the stuff that came out?
The spider letters.
The spider letters?
Yeah, because of his handwriting is all spidery.
That was their nickname.
It's Prince Charles writing to ministers
saying do this or don't do this or I heartily
recommend you do this.
Yeah, in spider
language.
Prince Charles would be
found in the upper corner of one of their bedrooms
the ministers, in a royal
web.
He would stick his head out
out of the web and go and if you wouldn't mind
not texting my land and they go ah and then he'd go please tell us away out the window
and you remember when there was that minister in parliament who um
he stood up to speak and then his chest exploded
and hundreds of little spiders burst out of his chest
with Prince Charles' face?
That was the spider-let.
Oh, that's what that was.
That was part of it.
I thought that was weird.
I thought that was weird when I saw it.
And everyone had to applaud
because technically the little spiders were royal.
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everyone had to go.
Yeah, they don't have to pay web tags.
They don't have to pay web tags. They don't have to pay web tax.
And they can lay their eggs in an oak once a year.
It's another little privilege that they get.
Yeah, it's...
The idea, though, as we say a lot of the bad takes,
like, did you know while Queen Elizabeth was in charge
that the SAS shot these guys in Gibraltar.
And you go, she's not a mob boss.
Like, if anything, the version of the royal family you're describing
is absolutely to the tastes of like Nigel Farage or whatever.
That's what they wish it was.
You both have that in common.
You both wish it was more like this.
Yeah, you both got the same fantasy.
You're just on different sides of the same fantasy.
Yeah, whereas what it
really is, is just
some fairly dull people
every now and then lifting
a finger to make sure that things stay
nice and easy.
Nice and smooth.
And that's why Queen Elizabeth's catchphrase
was, keep it
easy.
Raise a finger. I always loved how she did that. Keep it easy. Keep it easy raise a finger i always loved how she did that she raised one finger
keep it easy and she got that growl that's a vocal fry keep it easy keep it easy and she would um
she would do that and raise a finger and very slowly press the finger onto the lips of whoever was talking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Like that crazy guy who broke into Buckingham Palace.
That's how she kept him calm.
Yeah.
Keep it easy.
Hang on to his face.
And he did. Yeah.
A lot of her power was her ability to just say, keep it easy,
and place a finger on the man's lips.
Keep it easy. That's what she did to Tony Blair
yeah
as he was resigning
did you feel yourself going crazy at any point
were you about to go
go out and buy a load of flowers
and jam them into the gates of Buckingham Palace
no no go out and buy a load of flowers and jam them into the gates of Buckingham Palace?
No.
No. No, because I don't take part in spectacles of any kind.
You're famously anti-spectacle.
I'm anti-spectacle, unless they're on my face.
Oh.
Unless they help me see.
You'll take part in a couple of them couple of pairs
those spectacles I
like
but no I
I was
I was sad
but in that kind of
in the kind of sadness of like
you knew this was coming
and
yeah you know I'm probably well, you knew this was coming.
I'm probably more along the royalist... I'm closer to royalist than you are.
I'm not royalist, but I'm closer than you are.
And I think losing that constant feels sad.
Losing a constant in a very unstable world, it feels sad. And that made me feel sad yeah losing a constant in a very unstable world it's feel sad and that made
me feel sad i'm i'm becoming more royalist not intellectually or philosophically but through
exhaustion oh yeah grinding you down wearing you down grinding me down and my total lack of faith
in the british public's ability to choose a sane alternative yes where
it's like if you if we get rid of this then i can just picture all the same weirdos just going well
mega queen and just like a double sized version of the craziness that came before
yeah i do think that if you gave a lot of the population the chance they would just vote
to have like an even more powerful version yes i. I also think that the royal family's part,
and maybe this is nonsense,
but I think it's part of the reason
we're able to be so secular,
is we sort of transferred the religious fervor
that we'd otherwise have to the royal family.
And the state religion.
Yes, yes, yeah.
And I think that's why people, like you say,
go to buildings where she isn't.
Because it's a religious impulse they have.
Yeah, so that's the other thing,
is through the exhaustion of accepting
that these urges exist in people,
and that it's quite useful to decant them
into a kind of side barrel.
Like a carbon sink.
It has to go somewhere.
Yeah.
And it might as well go somewhere relatively harmless.
Yes.
We've moved the Wetherspoons of Imperial Nostalgia
to that side of the street.
They're all over there now.
Exactly.
Drinking it in.
It's like when someone goes,
Oh no, the horrible pub is gone.
Oh yeah, the horrible pub is gone.
I'm like, no, no, that was good.
That's where the dickheads were.
Yeah, the horrible pub now, its denizens will be dispersed.
Through all the nice pubs.
Exactly.
Or just the road.
If every All Bar One was gone tomorrow, every other pub would get measurably worse.
That's actually, yeah. Maybe I do like them in a kind of patronizing
patronizing
flypaper
sort of way.
Yeah, exactly.
Maybe that's a safe place for all those nutters
who would otherwise be like
the people who sit and do oil
paintings of Donald Trump descending
from heaven.
Do you think if we abolished the
royal family, church attendance would go up because people would suddenly be craving a bit more sort of
robes a bit of gold a bit of gold and just and just like a figurehead just a sort of slightly
mythical mystical figurehead something very old something that that connects us to our past well
you know i mean if we abolish the
royal family's governmental role,
they kind of still would be head of Church of England
if Church of England wanted it. And then they would become this
kind of like, it'd be like the
Aga Khan.
Very slow to warm up.
The Aga Khan. The Aga Khan, yeah.
Once you get to know him.
Oh, he's hot.
Yeah. Yeah. But he's like the head of a particular is it i think shia shia branch of islam right he's their like religious head but he doesn't have like a domain anymore or he did
so he's this kind of almost like freelance royal and religious figure digital nomad he's the
original digital nomad yeah
so maybe that's the queen would just become this the king rather now prince charles would be this
kind of like roaming harvest festival guy king charles king charles yeah yeah but he would just
be like going up and down the country like doing c of e stuff bake sales yeah um and i do like look
i like i like tradition and i like stability it's just i get annoyed when
i see someone like prince andrew benefiting from it yeah that's the bit i don't like yeah
you have to take every system has its scrounges yeah that's true yeah and uh
yeah yeah i mean i mean people you know people say that charles might sort of shrink the family
little might sort of they've always said he wants to jettison off yeah the the minor royals which i
think would be a good yeah i think there are too many royals there there's two like the duke and
duchess of like kent and stuff where you just go who uh yeah and you go yeah you go yeah just
hive them off you know we don't need these hangers-on.
Beatrice and Eugenie.
Mm-hmm.
Eugene, Eugenie.
A streamline.
Streamline, streamline, streamline.
Yeah, they don't need...
I mean, I guess they have security.
I don't know.
Do people even know who they are?
It took me ages to figure out who's who.
Oh, yeah, I still don't know.
Prince Edward.
No one ever talks about Prince Edward.
Yeah. No idea. He tried to be one ever talks about Prince Edward. Yeah.
No idea.
He tried to be a TV producer, I think.
Oh.
Yeah.
Maybe we could get him to...
We'll pitch the TV version of Bud Pod to him.
Yeah.
Now that he's going to get cut out.
Were you sad at all about the Queen?
Did any of your Commonwealth instincts kick in?
Yeah, I was more more i was sort of
vaguely sad and patriotic sadder than you expected to be maybe yeah maybe only just i think it all
it's all been that's what's been surprising me is that it's all kind of been on the level of what i
would have guessed right it's all been more muted than you'd expect Yeah, it wouldn't have been muted, just like predictable
But you said that the hysteria is less than you expected it to be
Yeah, what do I mean by predictable?
I mean more like
Moderate?
Yeah, just everything happening in the kind of way that it's supposed to
Everyone will be sad, then we'll do this, then we'll do this
Bing, bing, bing
On schedule almost Yeah, yeah, yeah, i think that's right yeah it all feels surprising
on schedule yeah yeah um yeah i was i mean it feels sort of like everyone knows what to do
yeah and and as you say the commonwealth instinct is to is often to be more protective of these
institutions because we've seen what life's like without stable institutions um yeah and the other thing
always that pushes you to be more royalist is the kind of like sixth form anarchist takes that you
see yeah yeah i'm glad she's dead or whatever and these are the same people who are like
not often but not always but often the same people who are like uh i refuse to glory in the cadet
the death of muammar gaddafi yeah yeah you
go okay well yeah well it's kind of like when you said back when when europe was poo-pooing
gastrozenica vaccine and you're like it basically turned you into nigel farage whenever they did
that yeah whenever they went on this vaccine who even knows if it works and i would just suddenly
suddenly like my my trousers going
like tweed or be like anamorphs but very simple yeah transition the ridges of corduroy popping
on your clothes yeah i look down i've got a cigarette and a pint no no
just into his horrible frog voice yeah yeah that's it exactly where like the opposition
to something is annoying or illogically put then you just immediately go well then you're dumb but then equally i don't
follow on social media or regularly look at mad fucking royalist takes yeah i got pushed back
towards republicanism in the british sense american listeners um by reading all the incredibly
saccharine bad poems about the queen
so you know who knows where this could end up phil maybe i should just make a decision based
on principle and stick with it instead of being buffeted by the winds of other people's stupid
opinions yeah yeah but we are we are other people we i like the idea of the life's extras, though.
Life's extras, yeah.
People who are just pretty naturally attracted to areas
that are supposed to be crowded.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll go there.
Yeah, literally the audience members in Street Fighter.
They exist in real life,
and they just turn up at these events going...
And if you watch one long enough on the TV,
you'll see they start repeating the routine
Yeah
Oh it's scripted
Sip of tea
Waving small union jack flag
Union flag
And she turns and says something to her friend
And her friend shrugs
They're both scripted
Would you have a full fucking mental breakdown
If you did see that
if you started seeing it you'd be pretty worried i yeah i'd be like oh no this is a simulation
and it's not that good it's not that good it's got glitches we need a patch on our on the universe
we need a flavor patch uh a little download where it's like new animations have been added
for the background characters
the community really responded well to that
how soon
how many glitches would you
have to see before you sought psychological help
I think it would be just something that
I bring up in therapy later on
and I'd be like I mean for example I think it would be just something that I bring up in therapy later on.
And I'd be like, yeah, so I just... I mean, for example...
I mean, this is going to sound weird.
Like, for example, the other day I was watching the news and...
People started repeating their movements.
And the therapist is just like, oh, yeah.
And then starts scribbling.
She hasn't written anything down for a while and suddenly she's scribbling quite a lot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you realize that she's going,
oh yeah, and just scribbling it.
Oh yeah.
Then she's looping.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
That would be the horror.
No, no, no, no, no.
No.
Glitch!
She's pointing at her.
Glitch!
Pointing into her face.
You're a glitch.
And then her head goes like,
and she's like, hi, Phil. Welcome out to today's session.
I broke it.
Witness one Phil
Wang.
Yeah, that's real Twilight Zone stuff.
Or she suddenly blinks and starts raising her arms
like a Street Fighter person.
She's cheering you on.
Oh, no.
The extras are glitching. The program's emerging.
Yeah. It'd be very funny to have to explain what you think a glitch is to a therapist.
Yeah, how soon would they be like, oh, we all...
This is beyond talking.
Yeah.
Terrifying.
I'd wait a couple of days.
Before you said anything.
Before I said anything. For the first couple of days, you'd be like, I'm imagining. I'd be like couple of days before you said anything before I said anything for the first
yeah a couple of days
you'd be like
I'm imagining
I'd be like
I'm tired
I'm
I'm overtired
I'll
but then I would
I would keep watching
like the news
or anything with crowd shots
Wimbledon
just like
yeah
rewinding
doing the Leonardo
Leonardo DiCaprio
once upon a time
in Hollywood meme
of like
you're seeing something
on TV
and go pointing yeah exactly in terror yeah that that would be terrifying yeah
to watch someone in the but i like this idea life's extras they just go let's go to time square
yeah yeah new york let's go there Let's go to the Eiffel Tower.
Yes.
Who's going?
Who's going to these places?
Places where they have no instinctive understanding that it is the place everyone wants to go
and therefore will be full of like
tat shops and pickpockets.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I had this feeling in Leicester Square.
I went so...
Yeah, Leicester Square.
Another great example.
I found out
the Queen had died
right after coming out of top gun maverick
so you were ready to be patriotic yeah yeah i was able to transfer that american patriotism
onto the british patriotism quite readily but i came out i was worried it's going to happen
while i was watching the topic on maverick yeah and i came out and I was worried it was going to happen while I was watching Topic on Maverick. Yeah. And I came out and I looked at my phone.
No update.
It was like, ah.
And then literally then it went, ba-dum, the queen is dead.
And I came out into the Leicester Square and it felt actually quite a fitting place to be.
Because then I just got to walk around and look at life's extras.
Yeah.
And seeing how they reacted.
Because were they
all on their phones everyone was like just from time to time you see someone look down at the
phone and then sort of stop for a bit and just look quite sort of serious and pensive and then
move on a lot a lot a lot of them were like tourists a lot of spanish tourists walking around
not completely clueless they don't even know if they'd care really yeah um street performers
i mean people weren't weren't really reacting vocally in any way i could pick up one girl
walk as i was leaving the square one girl walked past me and i just had to go
she's just such a great lady oh yeah that felt very like simulation
oh god save her majesty And then I saw one lady
Walking and then looked down at her phone
And just stopped in her tracks
And then I looked over at her phone
And she was looking at Google Maps
She just got lost
It was just pornography
It was just hardcore porn
But then I just took a little walk around the center of London.
And it was interesting.
I was, you know, it felt quite lucky actually to be there when it happened.
Because watching the small changes in London happen, as people find out the Queen had died.
I walked past Liberty, that shop right by Oxford Circus.
You know, a big old shop made out of an old ship liberty all these ancient wooden beams and panels and i as i walked past it a guy so i saw a guy
taking a photo of something above our heads and looked up and they they were taking down the union
flags at a half mast half mast. And just tying them off.
And,
yeah,
and that felt,
we were just,
last night we were just talking about
this new thing that Gen Zers are saying,
main character energy.
Yeah.
Where you feel like you're the main character
in the movie of life.
Yeah.
And that had real main character energy about it.
I thought,
you know,
walking around,
watching London change in reaction to the news the news yeah and hearing people say things
like such a great lady yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah um yeah and and um the real mix in in
seriousness of institution that was putting things at half mast putting flags at half
mast because you yeah it's a
funny time to find out what buildings have flags yeah just suddenly go like that pret has a flag
very stressful day to be the flag guy yeah yeah we've been training for this i saw a video of um
of you know dean street in soho there's like um like soho house i think has flags
right and then like quo vardis one of those restaurants has got those union jacks
yeah union flags rather um and apparently like it there was like a race almost where like someone
suddenly noticed that one of the two had already done it and the other one was like fuck the flags and i was like quick like shit like how do i imagine the guy's not in yeah the fly guy's not
in i don't know flags it's very easy to forget you have a flag it's easy to forget you have a flag
yeah and it's very hard to imagine from an outside perspective what strings lead to the desired
outcome yeah it's like when you pull down a blind.
Which one?
Is it the one near me or the one away?
Oh, God, I'm making it more fluttery.
Shit, that looks like we're happy.
Yeah.
No.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Someone turns the flag upside down.
Oh, no, no, no.
It just catches fire.
You pull too hard and suddenly it's the ISIS flag.
What?
No.
Why would we even have that string?
Stop making pictures, please!
He's so stressed.
Yeah.
And then the BT Tower, there was a little thing in the sort of LED display
that rotates around the top.
Yeah, and which is normally stock prices? Right is it yeah it became am i making that up is it a stock ticker or is it
like temperature and time of day like i've never looked at it until when i looked up and it was a
queen's face and the years of her life had like an eight bit queen yeah it was like like a game boy
queen game boy queen yeah playable character and then original zelda
very low res queen but i like a little gif also all the signs changed all the bus ads changed
all these billboards you never noticed before suddenly they had all these pre um preset um
images of the queen and then 1926 to 2022. Eh?
19... What year?
I think 26.
Yeah.
Born in?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think so.
1926 to 1922.
I was like, wow, they really...
Gosh, these really have all been in the chamber
for a long time.
Yeah.
These billboards.
Yeah.
I mean, they must update them,
what do you think, every year?
Hmm.
New photo or same photo for at least 10 years at a time yeah because if the photo is too old you look like you're trying to
you know but she goes on a diet or gets hench or something then they've got to change the
if she gets an eye patch or a mustache yeah they go okay gonna have to update these billboards or
hope for a lot of graffiti yeah also we Also, we drove out westwards out of London
and a lot of the ads were just blank.
Yeah.
The ones they couldn't put the Queen's face on,
they just...
They hadn't thought about it.
Yeah.
A very stressful flag moment for them.
Yeah.
Do we have any patriotic ads?
British beef?
Fuck!
But then the adsler weren't changed.
They were the ones that were just stuck on.
Yes, of course.
Paper still is.
It was just like, the queen has died.
And then, forest rave.
Garage rave.
Zippo's circus.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Mourns the loss of her majesty.
Yeah, all the crazy like those rave signs everywhere are really odd to me nothing's ever looked more like a trap to me yeah absolutely just go who's there it's like something from a
from a warner brothers cartoon live sexers that's what life's that sign said there'd be a rave
i'll go there these are the people we're talking about.
What a revelation.
I really love this term.
Oh, life extras.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They feel like a group of people I'm very spiritually separate from.
Yes, absolutely.
I'm one of life's extras in the scenes of movies where there's just a guy on the couch going,
What?
Yeah, so can you think of a time you've looked around and gone,
Oh, no. I'm a life extra. I'm one of of life's extras i'm one of life's extras right now um when i walked past uh some people fighting on the tube right like two kids push shoving each
other and having like a fight like in a tube station you feel like one of life's extras
yeah because i'm walking past going oh oh right Oh, right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just getting my train.
I'm not intervening.
Like, hey, guys, I am Tom Cruise trying to, like, fucking keep the peace.
Yes.
I'm an extra there because they're the ones fighting and I'm the one going, gracious,
and, like, not even stopping.
Yeah.
Well, if you've ever stopped for a street performer, instant life extra.
Instant one of life's extras.
You feel like a whore?
Someone's beatboxing and you go, oh.
And you've joined that sort of crescent of people
You stand there
Like when you hide in Assassin's Creed
You blend in
Threat goes down
Or you go oh
Clamp
Fire juggling
Yeah
Any cinema?
Going to the cinema
You feel a bit like that?
If it's very full.
If it's very full, you go, yeah, the busy cinema crowd.
That's what I'm in now.
I feel a bit like that.
The couple of times I've been to Glastonbury
and gone to one of the stages.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, any festival.
Any festival.
Really.
I did Hogmanay in Edinburgh one year for New Year's.
And that felt a bit life extra-y.
Oh, the gym?
Oh, yes, that's a good one. Gyms full of extras, you're an extra in the gym.
Yeah, if you're one of a few people running on a treadmill.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that feels very much like an extra.
If you're on your own on the treadmill, then you're a main character.
Yeah, absolutely.
Like, no one else is even in the gym and here they train then you're rocky for their
mission yeah yeah whereas especially in the weights room of my gym there's these three guys
i can't believe i've never brought them up before they come in and they're like mates
they're all like uh constantly being mates with each other at the gym
yeah genuinely it's very um well they only ever
come in as a three yeah the trio i call them and they're not young um oh they're not like
pensioners but they're like 40s 50s 40 yeah like the youngest looking one is is 35 at youngest
yeah and the oldest looking one is maybe 45 to 50 like there's actually
quite an one's a bit older and two are more of the same age and they're like very very like
muscly in a kind of bouncer slash drug dealer sense yeah they're not balanced yeah you know
and they do like very like a noisy pull-ups like slapping each other on the back like laughing too loudly no it's very much like they're
the main characters from like cobra kai or whatever yeah they're from like the evil karate club
they make all the rest of us uncomfortable with their loud noises yeah and just going like shut
up you know but then I'm the extra going definitely
gym clothes are all like black and red
and your gym clothes are white and blue
yeah
with like a little gold belt
and they're very evil
yeah, that's it, then I'm definitely an extra
then
I can't believe I've never mentioned those guys
I find the dynamic really odd
and it's during the day when I'm free
Because my job is evening
What the fuck are they doing there
And I think they might be criminals of some kind
Because they're always using very cheap looking phones
Oh interesting
Sometimes they take phone calls in the weights room
Where there's like
It's like not a quiet room
There's music and groaning
But they're still like
On the phone They're very disruptive presence These guys sound like a nightmare It's like not a quiet room There's music and groaning But they're still like Yeah yeah yeah
Like on the phone
Fucking hell
Yeah they're very disruptive presents
These guys sound like a nightmare
No I don't like it when the trio is in
They're in there for a long time
They're in there when I arrive
And they're in there when I leave
Bloody hell
Anyway
Well that's all our time
Oh gosh
It's all our time
Flown by
Royal commemorative edition
It's been a historic
episode god save the king i guess and if god has time the rest of us yeah god save the king um and
and god save the rest of us no worries if not god worries if not god no worries if not if not
obviously of course no worries if not god if even for a second adding us to that makes you want to
do it less yeah or distracts from any of the time you spend saving the king.
Yeah.
Don't do it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We really mean that.
And if by next week God hasn't saved the rest of us,
I'm just going to send a little prayer saying,
Hi, just checking you've seen this.
Just saw the king got saved, so it's good that that's done.
Yeah, yeah.
Now that that's done, is there any spare?
Just let me know.
I'll come pick it up myself.
You don't have to worry.
I won't put you out.
I'd be fine if not, obviously.
I'd be fine.
You're busy.
Yeah.
I understand that now that the king has ascended to heaven
immediately in a shaft of light,
there now has to be a new king
and we have to save him.
Yeah.
So, look, I've got an entree too, buddy.
Yeah.
I get it.
God, yeah.
But God dang save that king.
God save that king.
Oh, God.
And God save these two kings.
Yeah. The Bud Pod kings. Yeah. oh god god save um these two kings yeah the bud pod kings yeah well um we we will we will be away
next week we should say yes we are away filming together abroad which is very exciting filming
together abroad we have to get on a plane to go to do some filming we're leaving on a jet plane We do know when we'll be back again
They sent a schedule
Wait, we won't miss two Bud Pods, will we?
Oh.
I'm getting worried.
Oh, no, I don't think so.
No, we won't.
We won't.
We won't.
Phew.
But it's very exciting.
We can't say just yet what it is for,
but I think you will enjoy. you'll like it a lot um if you like us being together bad news if you hate seeing us though because it is filmed yeah yeah that's true actually yeah
i wonder if there are people for whom it'll be the first oh no there's our own picture on the
on the podcast.
There was that devastating message, though,
where someone said they imagined me wearing a hat.
Easily the hardest I've ever been slammed in my life.
It depends somewhat on the hat,
but overall not a great assumption.
There's such a small window of light there.
Best case scenario, which hat?
Like a beanie. Best case scenario like a beanie best case scenario a beanie that's a bad best case yeah
the the little window of light is like uh you know in that prison bane is in like it's so
distant and high hat prison very few hats that you go oh great maybe a trucker cap like that's podcasters seem to wear those
yeah but i don't like the idea that i i don't think i sound or seem like someone who would
have anything to do with that but then that's our self images are always a lie well you do
know who does have a new hat king charles god save him and god save him hopes he wears that hat nice
good luck
with the hat
and good luck to all of you
under the new regime
yes
what does he say
in V for Veneta
Britain will prevail
what does he say
yeah I think it is
is it Britain prevail
Britain will prevail
yeah I think so
okay yeah
well Britain will prevail
fingers crossed
no repressions
yes
goodbye
bye