BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 185 - Burn that baby!
Episode Date: October 19, 2022The lads chat Truss, international principle's office, Demeter, doing the maths, Pierre is on at SOHO here! https://sohotheatre.com/shows/pierre-novellie-why-cant-i-just-enjoy-things/ Corre...spondence from Kim regarding Phil's AI robot bio Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
It's Budpod 185.
185, uh...
Um, hmm.
185 trusts still alive, somehow.
Yes, yes, the cheese idiot clings on.
Cheese pork markets lady is still in...
Still in power. I saw a tweet to Andrew Daw ladies, still in power.
I saw a tweet, Andrew Dawson, the comedy writer,
the excellent comedy writer,
pointed out that pigs have been at the centre
of British political disaster and controversy for years now.
There was Ed Milib Ben's bacon sandwich.
Oh yeah.
Dave, David Cameron fucking a pig's head, a pig's head.
Um, pepper pig world with Boris.
Yes.
And now the pork markets lady is likely to be the most disastrous prime minister in British history.
That's interesting.
And then also, of course, in black black mirror the prime minister and the pig oh yeah i mean that was just weird
especially when that came out especially when that came out before the the pig fucking just
to be clear i was i was making a noise of disgust at you sipping that hot audibly hot drink as
opposed to the idea of fucking a pig i'd'd rather I'd heard you fucking a pig.
Well, the listener won't hear it
because I'm nice enough to do it away from the microphone,
but not away from the headphones I talk to you with.
Yes, you're living that cyberpunk 2077 life
where you've got magic headphones.
Yeah, so it's all for you
it means I get to hear
every wet
bubble
there I just did it without slurping
and burnt my lips in the process so you're welcome
all I want is for you
to toughen up them lips
that's all I want
just stick on the rubber lips
this big like rubber lips yeah like
those sweets yeah that's all i want is for you to have sort of terrifying cartoon plastic lips just
for drinking hot drinks but yeah i've been glued to the news it's i'm covered'm covered in news gloop, yeah? I'm covered in news gloop.
All I do all day
is listen to news podcasts
about Liz Truss
and the economic disaster.
And I love it.
Yeah.
This has really got to you, hasn't it?
I've watched you just
just chowing down
on hour after hour of
news analysis content.
I think I just find
it so fascinating and
so
satisfying because this is
the clearest
and most inescapable
collision with the reality
that the Brexit wing of the Tory party have experienced.
Yeah, well you and I both saw that the deputy editor of the Telegraph
wrote a column about how this whole thing shows you that Brexit was silly
and not a good idea, broadly.
Yeah, fundamentally there's no such thing as pure sovereignty
sovereignty in an interconnected world and this has proved that i recommend by the way
finding his tweet where he tweets like my latest column you know and then the link
click on quote tweets and just enjoy this
well hate scroll doom scroll this avalanche of people who have like charles the
second as their as their you know profile picture just going oh convenient establishment forgets the
sabotage of the ramona just this like tidal wave of gibberish just mad yeah true brexit has never been tried
stalin-esque madness oh yeah i mean this is where it's going to end up like in in my more
naive moments i think ah this is the wake-up moment for the brexit voters and brexiteers
they'll finally realize that this whole fantasy was a scam and was never going to work but they're
just going to go down the true brexit hasn't been tried route aren't they i think so i think so i
think the only reason they could ever deceive themselves was the idea that they they hated
europe so much and had this weird cultural antipathy towards europeans generally so much
and regulation that they just sort of thought well i presume that somewhere
out there are some benevolent group of wealthy foreigners who will give us money and even if
that was true and it's not that mindset is like pre us remembering that china is horrible pre us
remembering that russia is horrible pre us remembering that america will bully you in a
trade deal if it can because it can can. Blah, blah, blah.
I mean, yeah.
The fact that some of the Brexit people were like,
look at all this profitable trade we used to do with Kenya up until something happened in the 50s.
Who can say what it was?
Yep.
At this point, I'm actually, and maybe I'm exposing my naivety again here.
But at this point, I wouldn't be surprised if we're back in the customs union within a decade.
Do you think?
I think, yeah.
I mean, it's just,
it just, this is such,
this feels like such a wake-up call.
Maybe I'm over-egging it a little
and maybe this is wishful thinking.
But especially if,
especially if the Kirsten Dahmer government
is the next one in 2025,
which seems pretty likely.
Yes, it does seem likely.
It is funny to see all the polls
that say that the Tories
would end up with fucking 11 mps or something yeah yeah but i mean this is almost
certainly wishful thinking for me but i feel like we're heading to risk you know either
re-entering the customs union and calling it something else or you're trying to you know
because this just can't go on like this maybe they would maybe they would well phil speaking
of future trade opportunities um listeners uh especially if you are in or near london you will
soon have the opportunity to trade uh some money with a venue in order to see my comedy show.
This sounds like one of my opening stories for the bonus part.
That's the kind of level of struggle
was like me doing an opening story for the bonus part.
That sort of stilted metaphor construction.
Yes, that's right, Phil.
Soho Theatre run of my edinburgh fringe show why
can't i just enjoy things is gonna be announced not today because we're recording on tuesday the
18th of october but on the day of release the day you're hearing this listeners wednesday
the 19th it's going on sale and it is from the 30th of january next year all the way to the
4th of February if that's the Saturday
he said looking at his diary
excellent
it is 30th of
January 2023 to the
4th of February 2023
Soho Theatre
7.30pm be there
or be not there
in the deep
late winter
in the bleak
midwinter
that's right
that's exactly it
laughing at Pierre
laughing at Pierre
laughing at Pierre
laughing at Pierre
laughing at Pierre
his
his
blazer of deepest crimson chin covered in hair
there we go uh that's gonna be yes yes the vibe people cut in huge coats bent double under the
weight of inflation and cost of living crisis shuffling into Soho Theatre basement
for an hour of
hashtag laughs
yeah wearing
sort of grey coats and flat caps
yeah that's
the toes poking out of the shoes
yeah a Soviet bread queue
or a
what's the guy who does the
northern guy who does the paintings
Lowry painting
thank you
Lowry painting yes yes yes yes
I'm not sure
if you can't make it or if the tickets are too expensive
and they might well be to be more serious about cost of living I suppose
it will be online at some point.
That is the plan.
We're sorting that out.
It might go on a tour.
But if you can afford it, it doesn't get better than life.
It's great to be in that room.
You got to be in that room feeling them hot, hot laughter breaths on your neck.
You know?
Absolutely.
I'm just seeing if I can find...
Yes, okay.
Depending on what day of the week you go, the tickets
are sort of on average 15 quid,
which isn't too crazy at all.
That's fine.
I think that's very reasonable.
I think it's reasonable.
It's hard, isn't it, to know what to chargeil that's this is the thing that john robbins was speaking about very well on
the rahalist of her podcast the other day um oh yeah what did you say well just the fact that um
you know especially at the fringe as part of the kind of big arms race comedians are charging less
and less and less whereas you know comedians fees haven't really risen since the 2004 so in reality a lot
of shows out there that are costing a fiver should cost a tenner and that they're costing a tenner
should cost 70 and so on and so forth um yeah i believe i believe it's called a race to the bottom
which is not as sexy as it sounds but yeah i mean that's you know inflation is universal things cost more the petrol in the car
costs more to get to the gig the food at the service station on the way back from the gig
costs more red noses big honky noses you know know, those aren't free. Squirting flowers. Of course, Ukraine may produce 60% of novelty spinning bow ties in the world.
I like the idea of, you know how in the Soviet Union they had towns that just did one thing?
Ah, yeah.
So they'd have like an entire city somewhere in the middle of nowhere in russia that
just made tires um yeah i like the idea of one of those but for like and it'd be called like
cravat grad or something like that it's called uh or the bow tie one yeah tai grad yeah or like or like chelnyabinsk cravat works yeah yeah yeah and it would everyone in the
town would work at the cravat works or or yeah or join the army or be sent to do a phd in sort
of chemistry somewhere somewhere in the in the ussr yeah well this is it so phil you've been
what's what's leapt out of you you've across this thing. Trust and and the economics as bad as at least as much as I've been obsessively across Ukraine like a like a maniac. So what's the what's the big headline? Did you find anything that made you go? Oh, my God. Was there anything like that sort of dinner party trivia?
trivia well i mean dinner party trivia i'm probably not across it as much as you are across ukraine just because you are across ukraine so uh so much yes to the detriment of everything else
yeah well i mean just the the sort of the mad confidence of presenting a budget without
passing it by the
Office for Budget Responsibility, which always
who basically are the
mathematicians who type it up and see
if it makes sense mathematically.
You know, quasi-quoting
and Liz Rush just went, nah, we won't
do that. We trust our
own maths.
And they presented it and the entire market went,
you haven't done your maths!
And everything became expensive.
I mean, that's...
What's so interesting to me is how much two morons can cost everyone.
I mean, they've cost...
Even now with the appointment of Jeremy Hunt,
and markets have stabilized a bit, and interest rates have gone down a bit,
they're still higher than before.
Yeah.
The mini budget.
And that will cost people, millions of people, thousands of pounds a year.
And it's completely avoidable.
I mean, it's Brexit in a nutshell.
A completely avoidable kick in your own balls.
It's just, it defies defies logic and also i
didn't realize just how much of what things cost based on how much markets and traders trust the
uk as a country and as an institution because they now know the uk is a place where something
mad like this can happen.
It's going to cost more to borrow money because we're just a less trustworthy country.
Yeah.
And it's fascinating to me that to be untrustworthy is expensive.
Yeah, that sounds like that's a good, that's a good, it's expensive to be untrustworthy.
That's a nice little phrase yeah and we've cost our we've
this trust in quasi-carting have cost us all thousands of pounds by being thick yeah and
the traders so traders in in london are calling the the difference now between
between um the difference in cost of borrowing now between now and since before the mini budget
the city is already calling it the moron premium really yeah they're calling it the moron
phil unless your name is arthur moron you don't want anything named that after your
behavior or ideas yeah that is amazing yeah yeah it's a it's sort of um
there's a there's a thing called the the great man theory of history which is sort of semi
discredited now or it's not fashionable anymore um and that idea was that like
crazy great charismatic individuals are what drive history e.g napoleon hitler etc um sure
whereas now it's more like charlemagne yeah yeah whereas now it's more about like factors and like
weather and like looking at things in a much more holistic way events events context trends both
long and short term but in terms of suddenly shitting an enormous bed full points to to to the big to the
great man of history theory for trust and quieting it like you say two really stupid people at crucial
positions could just go and just fucking throw throw a tray of glasses on the floor, just completely...
Yeah, totally.
I'm so impressed by the vandalism of it.
Yeah, the vandalism,
and they were allowed to do it,
or able to do this.
And the other extraordinary thing is,
the conservative party just went,
okay, we have to
get jeremy hunt to do this because he's the only adult who can handle this and as i has pointed
out that it's essentially the move of a technocracy to go who is the person who can actually do this
okay you're gonna have to do it even though you haven't been you know you don't actually have you
don't have a mandate but you have to go and do it because you're the only one you can do this quasi-quantum and list trust is
so shit they've turned britain into a technocracy by necessity yeah they everyone's had to everyone's
finally had to ring dad yeah and yeah and oh yeah that's the other thing jeremy hunt was you know
was meant to announce the U-turn
at the House of Commons yesterday.
But they were so nervous about Britain's financial state
that he had to call Lindsay Hoyle
and ask him if he could break the rules
and announce it that morning.
Because even a few more hours
of not announcing the U-turn
could have, you know, destroyed everyone's pensions.
Oh my God.
They had to bring it back like four hours early.
Yeah.
It's mad.
It's really,
really,
really mad.
And it's completely unprecedented.
You know,
it's just pretty wild stuff.
I just can't get,
love it.
I just can't get the image out of my head of someone just being handed a vase and immediately
yeeting it into the floor.
That's just all I can picture.
Just, okay. Now you hold this oh thanks smashed without even thinking just amazing to do it in two weeks two or three weeks yeah just just oh you know there's a level
of like vandalism and and idiocy that is kind of breathtaking and impressive.
It almost becomes art.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Almost, yeah.
Yeah, I mean, like, terrorists could not have done a more damaging job.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, maybe it's all a heist.
It's like the taking of Pelham 123,
and it's all kind of connected with the stock market and stuff.
It just looks like mad vandalism, but actually there's some kind of...
At this point, I wish Liz Truss was smart enough to be behind something like that.
Maybe... That's the other thing, astonishing thing.
I don't think Liz Truss is a bad person.
I think she's fucking thick.
I think she genuinely thought it was going to help.
That's the most tragic thing about this.
Well, no, it's not the most tragic thing,
but it's an extraordinary thing.
It's like Kwasi Kwarteng's apparently very good book
on the history of the British Empire and stuff
and all his qualifications, but still he just walked in and just went and just pressed the big button
immediately yeah he just yeah maybe it's a case for well you you make a good point of they've
only ever been in power quasi-quarting in this dress so they don't think they needed to pass it
pass their ideas past anyone yeah untouchable and they're both quite seem to be quite sort of smug people if you look at the the insane way that they deliver
speeches um do you think then there'll be like a kind of usual suspects moment where like trust
walks away after having been kicked out of being prime minister and slowly sort of stops rambling
about pork and this cheese mac it's a disgrace and suddenly it's just like this really sort of stops rambling about pork and this cheese mac it's a disgrace and suddenly it's just like
this really sort of crisply spoken really kind of like she's lost all the alertness in her eyes
she's got she's very much like a shell of a person now and fair enough if you shit the bed that
dramatically um yeah yeah i mean gosh what the hell is she going to do after this?
Because she can't even... Who's even going to have her do after-dinner speeches?
Who the fuck is going to ask her to do it?
She can't speak, and she has no good stories,
and she's just embarrassing.
To be fair...
You know what I mean?
To be fair, I would definitely charge £90 a head or whatever
at some massive ballroom,
turned into a dining room, just to hear the story of how she fucked it all up and what it was like yeah i guess that'd be quite fun and especially
if it's at like the um the wiltshire cheese awards that'd be fun yeah they get they get
the cheese lady to almost like a meme like for the banter
they they get the cheese lady to come to a speech at the cheese awards yeah yeah yeah
yeah exactly the cheese awards or like there's some kind of pig judging contest and then
or what if like i mean who she benefits she's crashed everybody's pensions, so I guess she's benefited, you know,
people who repossess houses and old folks' homes.
Yeah.
So they might love her.
Well, maybe she'd become an unlikely hero of a first-time buyer
if she crashes house prices.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, she's doing, like, freshers' weeks and stuff.
Everyone's like, whoo!
Just delighted with her.
Because she basically just went and destroyed the wealth of anyone over 65.
Oh, man.
Here's a question.
Because you and I were hanging out when we saw that Kwasi Kwarteng had to leave an IMF meeting in America early.
He was being told off and he had to
leave his own telling off early to get fired.
And everyone was tracking his
flight.
Like he'd been called to the principal's office.
Yeah, exactly. The international principal's
office. The IPO.
That's what an ipo is the international principal's office and then you get international detention at the hague
but then i mean yesterday listraslick actually been called the principal's office did you see
penny mordant had to had to take kirsten's emergency questions at the house of
commons yes yes yes yes splashes had to had to step up and splash she did the diving show the
reality show splash and she no yeah yeah did she yeah she's was that the one where celebrities have
to go down like go diving yeah and sort and Tom Daley or someone sort of goes,
oh, good dive, but do more somersaults next time.
I don't know.
I don't really know how diving works.
No way.
Here she is.
Yeah, yeah.
Oh, my Lord.
What?
Yeah.
Why?
Why would you do this?
Very strange.
I think it was after Nadine Dorries broke the law to go beyond I'm a celebrity.
That's correct.
Because what a dumb idea. Why would you
do this? Very dumb. Very strange.
Oh my god, here she is in like
a one piece, like
about to dive off a diving board
with wet hair
and then next to
official parliament photos of
her looking serious in a suit.
Yeah, it's very circusy. She was good though.
I mean, when she, you know, listening to her speak instead of list trust like oh wow okay this oh yeah i forgot this
how politicians are meant to speak and she's quite quick and she's quite witty yeah and she's she's
more socially liberal than the conservatives because i believe her brother is gay and then
that was like some issue early on or she had to retract something i don't know anyway she's not like full
on re-smog evil is the point in at least not no background and i was thinking if she if she becomes
a pm it's you'll make things a little harder for for later it'll be a problem yeah it'll be a
problem yeah um but okay so here's my question phil you're on a you're on a transatlantic flight
which is what? Eight hours?
To New York, yeah. It's about eight hours.
Let's say, eight-hour flight.
You're flying home from a telling-off to an even bigger telling-off.
Who's telling him off in New York?
IMF.
The IMF are talking to him
like he's fucking Zimbabwe's foreign minister
or something.
Yeah, very embarrassing. the IMF are talking to him like he's fucking Zimbabwe's foreign minister or something. Jesus.
Yeah, very embarrassing.
Yeah.
So, here's the deal, Phil.
You're on a flight, eight hours.
You're flying from one telling off to a much, much worse telling off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What do you do on the flight?
Pray that there isn't in-flight Wi-Fi.
Pray that you can't connect.
That's what I'd want.
But you know that there are people, like with Kwasi Kwarteng,
tracking your flight, tracking your telling off.
I'd probably read a book.
What book could you possibly focus on in these terrible circumstances
the subtle art of not giving a fuck
because I suppose you'd need to
it would have to be one of those
airpod books where there's
an asterisked out fuck in it
you know
yeah yeah yeah yeah, yeah.
Maybe that's his retirement gig is writing.
I mean, he's already a published writer.
Yeah.
Maybe that's his gig is he writes a book where it's like,
what would the angle be?
The angle would be,
I tried to do proper Reaganomics
and look who stopped me.
Like that would be the angle.
It only didn't work because you didn't do
what I said. You all just panicked.
That's how I would sell it.
I wonder if you would bring up
the... You know what would be
a good Greek myth to bring up would
be... I can never remember the name
of the person.
She's a goddess in disguise
as a maid or a nanny
in this rich person's house
and
she really
comes to love the baby son that
she's been tasked to look after
and when the parents are away
one day she places
the baby in a magic fire
that she's built to make the baby
immortal
but in the middle of the process the mother
bursts in and goes what the hell are you doing and grabs the baby pulls the baby out of the fire
and the god in disguise as a maid is like you fool he would have been immortal he would have
been a god amongst men and you've cost him that and then she punishes the mother. And the story of the myth is,
if a maid has put your baby in a fire,
just see what happens, I guess.
But I reckon...
I mean, it's an unreasonable lesson.
It's a completely useless and unreasonable story.
It really is.
And I think I've remembered it because even as a kid,
I was like, that's unreasonable.
That's really unreasonable.
Like the kid's going to be like, oh, mom, look what you've done.
I could have been in a fire.
But I reckon Quasi Cotton can bring up that myth.
He placed the British economy in a fire
that would have made it stronger,
but the markets burst in and said,
what are you doing?
And it cost Britain immortality and strength.
That's what I would do if I were him.
Because Greek myths are in right now.
Greek myths are in right now.
That's true there's
a lot of sort of what what troy can teach us about um about pensions or whatever
greek myth baby fire i need to know that's literally what i'm typing in
oh dimitar dimitar dimitar dimitar yeah Demeter. Demeter. Demeter, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, it wasn't the mother.
It was the maid who was looking after the child.
Every night Demeter burned the child over the fire,
stripping him of his mortal flesh to make him immortal.
Yeah.
It's good stuff. Okay, so they sort of toughened him up with with fire yeah i mean what's the most generous reading of that myth what is what is a real useful life lesson you can take from that
that no pain no gain i guess essentially that's what that's what it is right I guess um if you see someone
putting a baby in a fire just vibe it out yeah you might not have the whole story
just yeah just stop and go but what is the reason for the baby in the fire maybe there's a reason. Maybe it's like a meta lesson,
which is that very powerful beings
have absolutely no empathy
for how fucking insane they seem.
Yeah, that's good.
That's good.
The gods are unreasonable.
That seems to be the macro lesson
of every one of these myths.
Maybe the lesson is
that intention is not always more important than execution.
Maybe it is that intention is not enough on its own.
Maybe that's it.
Yes, that's good.
The lesson is always get the parent's permission.
Always get a signed permission slip before you put a child in a fire.
Yeah.
This is just the Greek version of make sure to get the consent of the bill payer in your home before you enter this contest.
We should read some correspondence.
We should correspond.
We should dip the correspondence in fire
and see if that makes it even stronger.
Read them out on the podcast,
thus making them immortal.
Yes, that's true.
Not bad.
Do you think podcasts will be of interest to future archaeologists
absolutely i reckon they will use bud pod to piece together the history of the 21st century
more than books or newspapers yeah i think you're right and also our kind of
our kind of semi-thorough summary of current affairs
will be sort of good for social history.
Yes, exactly.
Semi-thorough is, I think, a very apt description of at least my research process.
Of what we're up to.
Yeah, yeah.
To letters, emails, phone calls, to your desk, your sister, Letters. Emails. Phone. Toilets. Your sister.
Keep a straight eye.
To keep a straight eye.
Letters.
Correspondence.
Um, let's see.
I'm trying to remember the last one I read.
What was the last one I read?
Uh, Kim.
Kim gets in touch. Kim kim reading your correspondence on a whim
so kim says hello buddies hello uh kim says while listening to phil on the how to fail podcast i
googled him to follow up some interesting tidbit he'd thrown out. Oh, yeah. Yeah, do listen to that with Elizabeth Day.
Excellent podcast.
How to fail.
How do I fail, Phil?
I wasn't very much help, actually, Pierre, because I've never failed.
So I had...
No, that's kidding.
I'm kidding.
I had three failures to lay out, and we spoke about them all in excruciating detail
to do this
I imagine it'll be the podcast
for Liz Truss and Quasi-Quoting
I think
they'll be the first guests to require
a full series
just to themselves
I stumbled
so Kim's trying to google some tidbit about you Phil
and she stumbled across
a mad bio of Phil
on a website that surely must have been written by a robot
it's like a mad algorithmic experiment in journalism
okay
this is what will happen to everything
if we don't donate to Wikipedia
interesting
like an AI
because there are I think there's a website that makes to Wikipedia. Interesting. Like an AI...
I think there's a website that makes these weird AI
bios of celebs, quote unquote.
Yes, well,
one of them's been done to you,
Phil, and I've got it here. Do you want to hear some information
about you? Okay.
I'm nervous. The website is
Hollywood's Magazine
Okay
That sounds so fake
Okay so here's the deal
When a letter that doesn't need to be capitalized
Is capitalized
I will pronounce it in a more formal way
Okay
So
Very few people knows about comedian celebrity Phil Wang Oh come on Not very few people knows about comedian celebrity phil wang oh come on not very few
come on what i how can i be on hollywood's hollywoods.com what's it called hollywood's
magazine how can i be in holly the hollywood's magazine and not many people know about me. Surely if I'm in the Hollywood's Magazine,
then I am famous Hollywood's man.
I can't believe you're getting negged by a robot.
I can't believe this.
I'm getting owned by AI.
I knew it would happen, but not like this.
Yeah, yeah.
Very few people knows about comedian celebrity, Phil Wang.
Come on.
That's the headline. How can I be a celebrity then? Well, this is it. Very few people knows about comedian celebrity Phil Wang. Come on.
That's the headline.
How can I be a celebrity then?
Well, this is it.
So it says, Phil Wang is of London heritage.
Not strictly true.
No.
Well, not true at all.
But he's also of Malaysian descent.
That's pretty accurate. Okay.
Yeah.
Comedian stand-up who is best known as a member of the British comedy sketch show Daphne.
Right. You're a comedian stand-up. I'm a comedian stand-up who is best known as a member of the British comedy sketch show Daphne. Right.
You're a comedian stand-up.
I'm a comedian stand-up.
According to Phil Wang Wiki,
we'll just go look at that then.
According to Phil Wang Wiki,
he received both the 2010 Trottle Student Comedian of the Year Award
and the 2011 Funniest Student Award by Comedy Central.
Correct.
I was an incredibly funny student.
Of all the students, you were the funniest.
I was the funniest student in the country two years running.
And the amazing thing was, if you knew me at the time,
that would have been a shock.
It's because you saved it all for the stage.
Yeah.
I was the funniest student in the UK for two years.
I forget that sometimes.
Yeah.
You could go to any university in the UK
and you would not be able to find a single student.
Not even funnier than me, but as funny as me.
You could scout the campuses. Yep. To your heart's content, day and funny as me. You can scout the campuses.
Yep.
To your heart's content, day and night,
you wouldn't find anyone.
This is it.
And it says, next thing, he is not a billionaire.
Another lie.
It says, he is not a billionaire,
but Phil Wang net worth is not less than one million. Phil Wang net worth is not less than one million.
Phil Wang net worth is not less than one million.
Yeah, so they're playing a little game there where they're going, well, he's not a billionaire, but he can't not be a millionaire.
That's their guess.
For once, I find myself wishing what was in the Hollywood magazine was true.
Yeah.
what was in the Hollywood's magazine was true.
Yeah.
A lot of this is actually...
A lot of this might have been improved since Kim sent us the email.
I think it's been copy and pasted from...
Yes, it's been copy and pasted
from stuff that is actually good.
Okay.
In places like the Rob Brydon show,
comedy up late in Have I Got News For You
and About Tonight,
he also appeared.
Those, I mean, aside from Have I Got News For You,
those are some pretty obscure credits.
The couple of shows I'm like, what?
Oh yeah, I guess.
Oh yeah.
Phil is one of the famous and trendy face that is popular in other parts of the world that's true that's very correct
and that's the kind of quality reporting that i've come to expect from hollywood's magazine
yeah well you've always been one of the famous and trendy face in my opinion thank you
as it says is popular in other parts of the
world as well as being a comedian not in the uk that's right sometimes i am not in the uk which
makes me a comedian not in the uk so they've nicked some more quotes for you from other stuff so here's a funny thing phil wang the the subtitles throughout the like like little
under titles throughout the article whatever you call them subs perfect career at age 30 there you
go perfect career at age 30 i think these are journey are these related articles no no these
are like you know like bigger titles spread throughout the text.
Oh, I see, I see, I see, I see.
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
Phil Wang Journey, 2017 to 2020.
What an utterly bizarre website and article.
It's really odd.
And there's lots of incredibly strange little adverts.
I wonder if it's like an AI sort of experiment.
Well, it's just to harvest ad revenue views
by just kind of like you create a bot
that kind of kidnaps bits of text from other websites.
By the way, have you seen this new like AI
kind of Photoshop essentially?
Yes, yes.
You just rub out what you want to replace and you type in
a description of what to replace it with like you rub out a butterfly and you and then you replace
it with bee eating some pollen and then the ai will just replace it with a bee eating some pollen
in the same style as as a butterfly that was there and it will just look like it's mad oh that's insane
it's fucking crackers that is insane um well phil here this is the most um important thing here how
much is he earning and what is the phil wang net worth the phil wang net worth yeah so that's the subheading that's the word i was looking for
subheading so it opens with wang is not like other asian tech hunts asian tech hunts okay
it's true i'm not like them at all no wang is not it goes on wang is not like other
asian tech hunts who earns a lot of money and keep on earning more and more like gold digger
well isn't the whole thing that gold diggers don't earn their money
yeah this is unfair to gold diggers and asian tech hunts maybe they mean a literal gold digger
someone who digs for gold they do keep earning a lot of money if they find it on the floor
wang is not like other asian tech hunts who earns a lot of money and keep on earning more and more
like gold digger not like that he brought up himself as a famous face in stand-up comedy
as we already read from phil wang wiki that's true i did bring up myself yeah he brought up
himself and it does say as we already read from phil wang wiki something which i regularly do
at dinner parties bring up myself you like to tap on the glass with a knife don't you ding ding ding and say
i'm not like other asian tech hunts if i can just bring up myself for a little while here
i'm not like other asian tech hunts you may have noticed not that not the ones who earns lots of
money over more and more like gold digger or on the dinner, people are shaking their heads quietly like, yeah, he's right. Yeah, it's not like that.
He was famous in UK for the first few months, but the popularity increases.
He went on Rise and signed different shows.
The first few months of when?
Which first few months?
Of life.
He was famous in UK for the first few months,
but the popularity increases. He went on Rise and signed different shows.
But the popularity increases.
This is so funny.
Phil Wang net worth is not on millions,
but somehow maintains the double digit
I make
That's true
I make tens of pounds
Yes
So the full sentence is
Phil Wang net worth is not on millions
But somehow maintains the double digit
From his successful career at UK
That's where you work successful career at UK.
That's where you work. I work at
UK.
I work at the UK.
We
can say, as per today,
right?
Oh yeah, big reveal.
We can say,
as per today,
he has maintained a luxury house, branded vehicles, and also walked to several tours.
No, it doesn't say that.
I've walked to several tours.
As in my own tours.
I've walked my tours of the UK.
Yeah, like some sort of Eddie Izzard stunt.
Yeah, I don't...
I like my branded cars, but I don't drive them.
I walk to my tours.
I just like to look at the branded cars.
What is a branded car?
All cars have a brand.
No one's buying a blank, a plain car, please.
Well, you know, sometimes you go to Tesco's
and you just get the own brand car
that doesn't have any...
Oh, Tesco value car?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sainsbury's Basics car.
That's true.
We can say,
as per today,
he has maintained a luxury house,
branded vehicles,
and also walked to several tours.
he has maintained a luxury house branded vehicles and also walked to several tours wang must earned at least two million dollars as we can see on his instagram post i thought
it was double digits and what instagram post i don't post i've never posted saying i've earned
at least two million dollars what an insane thing to post please post that that would be such a weird
funny thing to post just a video of'd be such a weird funny thing to post
just a video of you saying i've earned at least two million dollars and that's the whole video
that would be the most honest instagram post in the world um i like how now they're trying to
talk about like um talk about you in a kind of like uh way, we love him. You know, that kind of tone.
Yeah, yeah.
So the end of this is there. So it goes,
whatever the Phil Wang net worth is,
he till loves to play video games.
Hey, that's kind of correct.
I do till.
I do till like video games.
And then it says, he finds
some better thing to do on his ideal
time.
Sometimes.
And, you know,
they talk about your material.
Phil never focused on stupid issues
which could distract anyone's mind into anger.
He never did that.
I like that.
That is such a nice description of offense what is offense
it's it's to distract someone's mind into anger yeah that's nice isn't it i quite like that so
yeah phil never focused on stupid issues which could distract anyone's mind into anger
he just keep on going what is better for his career?
No stupid issues at mind. That's basically the end of the article.
That's amazing.
If you scroll down, it's just,
a doctor from London shared how to remove a hanging belly.
Pour salt down your drain at night.
Here's why.
These two vegetables will kill your belly and arm fat overnight.
These adverts love the word belly.
These sound like dangerous vegetables.
In one night?
Also, the implication there is if you're a fan of Phil Wang,
you've got some belly fat to shed.
And arm.
And arm.
And arm fat.
And your drains are fucked.
Yeah, they're full of not salt,
which is the last thing you want, according to this ad.
It's full of tasteless pipe muck.
There's nothing tasty in that water at all.
Add some flavour to it.
Add some mould and... Tasteless pipe muck is very funny.
He doesn't speak about tasteless pipe muck on the stage.
Phil Wang has several walking tours
and his net worth is on the million.
That was very good.
I like that a lot.
What's the name of the pod voter who sent that in?
Kim.
Kim.
Well, that's right.
Thanks, Kim.
A win from Kim.
Really appreciate that.
A win from Kim.
Thank you very much, Kim.
That was very funny.
If you want to know how
to eat vegetables that destroy hanging belly just come see me at the soho theater in january
yes do go see pierre at the soho theater in january it's such a stupendous show
i love it love it love it i'll probably see you there
he doesn't talk about any stupid issues at
all throughout the show no and not once did i feel distracted into anger not exactly yeah exactly
thank you um um but uh we'll see you next week or if you're a patron we'll see you again this
friday because the bonus pod now comes out on the friday to really
spread out the mirth see you on that see you when you're having that hashtag friday feeling or
whatever it is yes yes and best of luck to everyone i hope everyone increases their net worth this
week into the double good luck with your net worth yeah yes onto the double digits
everyone with the net worth good luck good luck bye bye