BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 228 - BonusPod 227 Stop Gap!
Episode Date: August 23, 2023The lads are working abroad so here is BonusPod 227 as a stop gap! KOJI!Description:Intro is huge toilet stockroom, dyson sex, buying clothes, MUJI vibes, pleats, mattress dips, climate crisis and fli...ght opinions, Conor's sister's friend's poo techniques Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's sort of Budpod 228. Not really, though. Hello from the Fringe.
Excuse me. Phil is in Egypt. He's hanging out with some pharaohs.
He's teaching some mummies to say koji and some daddies.
He's away. I'm at the Fr fringe. It's all chaos, basically.
So what we're going to do is we're going to release bonus pod 227, last week's bonus pod, to you lucky muggles who don't get it.
If you're not on the Patreon.
I'll cook up something a little more special for the Patreons.
It's a sign of gratitude.
for the patreons as a sign of gratitude and speaking of gratitude um just personally i want to say thank you to all of the pod buds who have come to see my show in edinburgh
it has been incredible to see how many kojis i've been getting as people go out past me and my
spooky little bucket um shows have been going very well but i think a big part of the reason they've been going well is because you guys have come out in force and vastly improved the quality
of of the crowd with your wit and your poop um highlights of the fringe so far lots of kojis
going to an industry party,
and instead of networking or doing something cool like bowling,
spending the entire three hours on a gun simulator,
see Instagram for details.
Very on brand for me,
in a way that I think I'm just going to stop fighting.
And just a very good time and a good show lots of fun this show for clarity is not the show i'm
going on tour with this autumn because of covid things are a bit out of whack so i'm going on tour
with last year's fringe show the one i've been doing in London. So 2022 Fringe
London this year.
That show is going around
the country in Dublin.
The show from the Fringe
this one
I'll have to tour it
put it on in London
next year somehow. We'll see.
Just for
excuse me, avoidance
of doubt and confusion.
I don't want you to be
confused.
Yes, okay. So
I'm on tour
in the autumn. Thank you for coming to the Fringe
Koji guys. I really do appreciate it.
It warms the
cockles of my heart to the point where they're
too hot to even touch these cockles
Phil will be on tour
in the autumn, look at our websites
for information, bloop-de-blah-de-bloop
if you are in London and you missed
the old show
I will be doing Leicester Square Theatre on the
27th of November, I believe
go to Leicester Square Theatre's
website to see.
That's the last chance it'll be on in London.
Ever again.
So check it out if you wish.
Beyond that...
Oh, I have a mailing list now.
It's 2009, for goodness sake.
We should all have mailing lists.
If you go onto my website, pianovelli.com,
the mailing list sign-up option will pop up.
I do sign up because I will be sending out little updates,
little things, bits and pieces.
Not often. I won't burden you.
But I'm tempted to turn it into a sort of fun little essay thing.
Just a couple of funny paragraphs about something or other
to sweeten the bitter pill of raw information um and uh there will be
a big announcement first on the mailing list and and and patreons in late nove, early December.
Pretty big announcement anyway.
And then hopefully, definitely big announcement sort of February, March next year.
So there you go.
I've baited the hook and now I wait.
Thank you very much for listening, guys.
We're going to get back to normal
operations ASAP as possible
when Phil is back from
raiding the tombs of the
pharaohs and I'm back from
cavorting
in Scotland and doing
my little dance.
Sweating in my
velvet jacket. Okay.
Thank you very much for listening
and enjoy Bonus Pod 227.
It's Bonus Pod 227.
You enter the big,
the big toilet bathroom stocking warehouse this is where they
keep the soaps and the stockings and the paper towels and the hand dryer parts that you need when you go around and and you maintain the bathrooms
and toilets and restrooms of various institutions you've just started this job and this is your
first time restocking the boss told you to get back to the warehouse and pick us up some stuff
and so you go around and you grab yourself a shopping
trolley to put all the stuff in you don't actually have to buy it they just use shopping trolleys
because it's more convenient and you know you laugh at yourself you go because you think
oh this stuff is all to go in toilets and yet this is the cleanest smelling place i've ever been
because it's all soap and towel
and toilet
and paper
and you go
I thought you did a little
to yourself
and you're rolling along
and you're throwing some
hand towel
some hand
some hand towel papers in there
push
and some soap
off the shelf there
oh great
you're throwing a couple of hand dryers
a couple of the Dysons and you stick your head into the Dyson you are great you throw in a couple of hand dryers a couple of the dysons
and you put you stick your head into the dyson on you stick your your hand in there you stick your
feet you're having a great time putting your hand and feet into the the dyson dryer and then
and then and then the thought crosses your mind your The expression of your face changes and you look from side to side and you go,
you think, could I?
I've always wanted to.
This is the only opportunity I'll have
to have a Dyson Airblade
and no one else is around.
I'm alone with a Dyson Airblade.
I've always wanted to do this.
And you look around, you check around and you pick up the Dyson Airblade I've always wanted to do this and you look around, you check around
and you pick up the Dyson Airblade
and you run over to a dark corner
of the warehouse
and you look around again
and you
drill the Dyson Airblade
into the wall
so it's sticking out of the wall there
with the insertion bit sort of
perpendicular to you as it were
and you look around again and then you're under your trousers look you unzip your zip
and just as you lower your underpants someone goes
your dick's wet is it and you. What? And there's no one there.
And you hear from above you.
Because you should only really be doing that if you've just washed your dick in the sink and it's all wet.
And you go, what?
And you look up.
And again, no one's there.
And you go, who are you?
I wasn't going to do it.
I wasn't.
I was just curious. I've just always to, I wasn't going to do it. I wasn't, I was just, I was just curious.
I've just always wondered what it would be like to,
to,
and then before you finish your sentence,
Phil emerges from one of the shelves.
His head comes out of the shelf
and he goes,
to fucker.
And you go,
huh?
And then Pierre
rappels down from the ceiling
and he unclips his belt and he goes, you've always wondered And you go, huh? And then Pierre repels down from the ceiling.
And he unclips his belt.
And he goes, you've always wondered what it's like to fuck air.
And you thought the only chance you'll get to have sex with a Dyson Airblade with its twin blade technology that would give you the ideal version
of having sex with air.
You thought you'd do it now, didn't you?
And Podbud, you go, no, I wasn't.
I swear, I just wanted to.
And then Phil says, well, I'm afraid you can't.
And I'm afraid.
I thought you're going to jail.
And you go, what for?
And Phil goes, just kidding.
You're not going to jail.
But you can't.
You can't do it.
It's not allowed.
And you're all sad and you're embarrassed.
And you go, oh, yes, sorry. And then Pierre goes, you can't because Dyson have just released an Airblade just for that.
And he pulls out a new Dyson device that says the Dyson dot, dot, dot.
Well, you know.
Welcome to bonus part I think it'd be nice to have sex
with a Dyson thingy
it'd be very gentle
yeah but
how does a lady do it because
one thing
with sexy lady time
is that you don't want the process to be drying.
That's true.
Maybe it could have a humidifying element to it.
There are humidifiers.
The Dyson spritzer.
Yeah, it would look like one of those mysterious steaming things
you see in the window at Muji.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
To steam the kind of tiny linen pants they sell.
Yeah, yeah.
But instead...
Muji is the place I can shop the least.
I love Muji!
I have a little set of Muji pyjamas
and they're short sleeve
and they're dark blue
with little white sailor buttons down the middle and I swish about in them and they're dark blue with little sailor white sailor buttons down
the middle and i swish about in them and they've got a funny little texture they've got the texture
of like ken watanabe in the last samurai like it's a bit bumpy how do you how can you find stuff at
muji to fit you and i can't with the large fits me no yeah no really yeah i i'm i'm in there like uh i'm in there like a fucking ent trying on the notepads
yeah yeah shoving a little a salad bowl when you're trying to put your legs through a salad
bowl this stuff just doesn't fit no trousers and clothes, things that fit me, are going to be delicate and efficiently charming enough
to be a Muji product, I think.
Yeah, I suppose delicate is probably the word.
Everything in Muji, all the clothes in Muji,
are made specifically for a Japanese person
who lives in a modern house in the woods.
Yeah, and they've got some sort of weird job that means that
they they they have time to just sort of slowly put on nice things and swoosh about yeah and put
all their pencils into a little pigeonhole yeah i you know what it is you buy everything from there
if you're an architect that's it it is very much architect vibes it's very much
work from home vibes it's very much lo-fi hip-hop yeah yeah yeah it's where the girl in the lo-fi
hip-hop video buys all her stuff is absolutely i'm a distinguished working from home architect
who likes lo-fi hip-hop and i shop at muji big time big time kind of um i'm a kind of giant hairy lumpy man
yeah where's your shop which country which country would your equivalent of muji come from if not
japan i mean maybe south africa yeah i was just thinking it'd have to be South Africa. Or like the center or south of the US.
Right, right, right.
Like a store called like Bert's Dry Goods.
And Fish and Tackle.
Fish and Tackle.
But they sell like hard wearing clothes.
Yeah, that's right.
Or the kind of suit place that does suits for the really big villains in shows.
Ah, wherever Kingpin gets his suits from
totally me and Kingpin
have the same guy
in some of those shows where it's like
this giant fucking guy or the rock
like we said on the main pod and he's got
this nice like pretty nicely
cut suit given how insane his body shape
is you just think where have you got that
I think they're all
tailored. They're all custom. They have
to be custom. They have to be custom. But what
we're after is something where you
can get off the shelf. I mean, what
was the plus size man clothes shop
called? Giacomo? Was that it?
Well, Giacomo, that's where we
got one of the jazz names, I think.
It might not be on the poster. It might be
Giacomo Coffins was one of the jazz names, I think, it might not be on the poster, it might be, is Giacomo Coffins was one of the...
I think I ripped the idea of a coffin for a really big fat bloke called Giacomo Coffins.
And he was a jazz guy.
Yeah, Giacomo was online only.
Was it now? Interesting.
However, you could go to High and Mighty in person, and I did.
High and Mighty. And and I did High and Mighty
and Big and Tall generally I think online
but it's all online now there's no physical
retail space
we want a physical shop
a South African equivalent of Muji
called
what would it be called
Bry
it would be called
Bry Thighs Bry Th thighs but then what people think
it's a bra shop because it's got bra right at the beginning well south africans wouldn't
yeah but you want to be opening it up to but i guess muji is a japanese word presumably yeah
yeah i just i actually bought some swimming shorts from a i literally googled rugby thighs
swimming shorts oh yeah and i found a website set up by like a rugby player wow great for to get
like little swimming shorts for your holidays for people with tremendous thighs that are not
in proportion with their waist crucial caveat this guy proves be the change you want to see in the world.
Yeah.
I'm hoping that pleated trousers get back in fashion.
Because I'm going to have to.
Maybe because of Oppenheimer.
1940s sort of pleated trousers.
Oh.
I need them pleats boy.
You're a pleat head now.
You're a pleat fever.
I have to have pleats. So I'm going to have a big floppy waist. Which bit of the trousers are the pleats boy you want your your pleat head now well i have to i have to have pleats so i'm
gonna have a big floppy waist which bit which bit of the trousers are the pleats
the pleats are the the sort of fold bits emanating from the belt line
the fold bits emanating from the belt line It would be faster to just Google image search pleats. What are pleats?
Please, pleats.
Pleats, tell me.
Yeah, Google.
It means that you can have a smaller waist
and the trousers sort of go outwards.
Gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
Yes, I understand now.
Have you seen them?
Yeah.
Have you seen the pleats?
Did you see them?
Did you see the pleats?
It's basically, yeah, the folding by which the fabric expands from the waist outwards.
Yes.
Correcto.
Lovely.
Yeah, I get you.
I need some pleats.
Yeah.
Because of my thighs. Well, maybe that's what I need some pleats. Yeah. Because of my thighs.
Well, maybe that's what the shop's called, Pleats.
Pleats, please.
Pleats, please.
Yeah.
And they sell...
I think I'm going to have to get a new mattress.
Why?
I'm too heavy for my mattress.
Does it just give way?
Well, over time, I wake up in a divot.
My bumps created this dip.
My central body mass has dipped it.
Wow.
Yeah, I'm very heavy.
Are you sleeping on your back?
Your badunkadunk is creating a big old hole in this mattress.
No, but even when I'm on my side,
that's still the central point of the fold of your body, isn't it?
Your hips.
Yeah.
It's your hinge. Yeah. it's where all the mass is
it's true mattresses it's too soft i like it when i go to a hotel and it's just like a
almost like flat wood fucking spring mattress just so sturdy for long-term use by customers
wood fucking spring mattress just so sturdy for long-term use by customers well that is because they have is it divans no it's not called the divan what is it called it's like i have a divan
that's like the box support yeah i've got that i'm not sleeping on slats boy i destroy slats
with this ass god damn you're on the slats with my badonk well then i have nothing to offer you Well Get out
Get out of this bed shop
Yeah I need to sort it out man
I need to sort it out
Because I don't know
I say I need to sort it out
I also can't be fucking bothered to sort it out at all
There's so many problems
I just don't have the energy to fix
So I just sit in a dip
Preach I am the sultan of this many problems that i just don't have the energy to fix so i just sit in i sit in a dip oh preach
i am the the sultan of this of having so many things to sort out the sultan of dip sitting
well and their equivalents yes i've always got some fucking thing i need to buy some
fucking shopping i need to do some tidying i need to do some fixing some enough enough i say enough
there's always a little job just a little oh you remember that solution well it's given birth to a
bouncing baby problem
so annoying congratulations
it's an issue
yeah exactly
yes
do you have any spice?
we're recording these well in advance
we forgot to clarify on the main one
yeah
but we are
oh man spice spice up my life Yeah. But we are. But we are. Oh, man. Spice.
Spice up my life.
It's hard to think of spice that isn't quite topical.
And that wouldn't sound a bit odd.
Oh, this is the thought I had.
We know the terrible heat waves in Greece and southern France.
I think that Greeks and the Spanish are going to start holidaying in the UK for summer.
Oh, like to have relief.
Yeah, what do you think? Well well there's always a lot of spanish
there's a lot of spanish teenagers wandering around london being astonishingly rude
so rude and they just stand in the they're always standing in the way it's such a rude country
by virtue of who they send us yeah yeah the kids their kids seem to be the rudest the french kids
are less rude the italian kids are louder but less rude german kids i don't notice
i notice them they're quite eerie but they're not
yeah yeah interesting yeah maybe i think yeah Yeah. Yeah. Interesting. Yeah, maybe. I think, yeah.
Maybe.
Or is this Mother Nature's way of making us fly less,
of just making the destination so unappealing and literally on fire that the flights have to stop?
Yeah, yeah.
And you have to get a train to the fire.
Yeah.
Mother Nature's like, I tried to warn you.
You're still going.
Fine.
Guess I'll have to set the destination on fire for you to stop flying and now no one can go on holiday as you sort of
pour petrol all over the villa yeah exactly yeah yeah yeah like a terrible divorce yeah
and this this this is another well this is probably a spicier element of this take is maybe budget airlines
shouldn't exist.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now this is obviously got quite a heavy class element to it and you can be,
you can quite justifiably be said again.
Well,
it's all right for you,
Phil,
to which I respond.
Yeah, I guess. I guess it yeah i guess i guess more trains more
trains more trains and make the make try and make the eurostar not five thousand pounds per trip
yeah yeah put all the airline petrol subsidies into eurostar subsidies there we go yeah i think
i think there should be like a minimum price on plane tickets.
I don't think like you should be able to fly to Spain for 40 quid.
My elitist view similarly along these lines is I don't think...
I'm irritated when people mess...
There's lots of things that irritate me a bit about Alistair Campbell and Rory Stewart
and their podcast.
Yeah.
But the main thing that i
will defend them on is that they fly all the time they're always flying to places right so the joke
is that like rory stewart is always in like jordan or california or switzerland or japan or australia
because he's going to very important conferences at high levels right yeah similar with alistair campbell and people are like well you two go on about green
but always flying and i think there's one point they should just say yeah because we're more
important than you and your holiday yeah i know that is we are more accomplished people than you
we have done more with our lives we're very very important we're very very knowledgeable
and we're in high demand and there's some stuff
that we have to do in person like flying to Rwanda and checking in on our charity on the ground you
know the charity that we run that we started that we're experts in whereas you are talking about
going to Naples and ignoring all of the local culture and sitting on the beach so maybe maybe
not actually maybe this is fine for us because we
have something on i'm sure some of those flights could have been zoom meetings but it's not
equivalent it's like when people get annoyed that the prime minister sometimes uses a private jet
like yeah i hope he does yes yes yes yes no i hope he does i i think i think on some level
yeah people are will admit to that that not all journeys are created equal yeah yeah
the ryanair flight to bulgaria with the full of stag do's is not the same no as flying an expert
to a situation it's just not well that's my spicy take take. My aviation spicy take for the week.
That's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
Well, so let's do some Vipka.
Oh, do you not have a spicy take?
That was mine.
That was mine.
Oh.
Their flights are fine and yours aren't.
Okay.
Fair enough.
To the people complaining on that podcast.
Yes.
Also, I think Rory Stewart is very smart,
but he's by self-definition not smart about politics
in a way that Alistair Campbell is.
Because Alistair Campbell was head of some of the most successful
political communications campaigns in British history.
And Rory Stewart has always lost all of his big fights in politics.
Yes, yes. He's a lot more idealistic i think i think campbell very much understands the reality the nitty-gritty of politics and the real politic of it all yeah whereas rory has nice ideas like
planting a big forest around london and you go oh great that's not going to happen and it's also a
bad idea for various reasons but it does sound nice and it involves trees, which I like as well. So, you know, great, but also
no, and it's not going to happen.
Anyway. Okay.
Okay, VIP correspondence. Connor has
got a touch. Connor!
Don't be
a loner, which is
another pronunciation of loner.
Speak to us.
Kona. Don't be a loner Kona. Don't be a loner, Kona.
Don't be a loner, Kona. Kona the barbarian.
Mmm.
Well, Kona says
good evening, ploppers.
Good evening. Oh, he wrote this in the evening.
Evening.
Evening. A long-term
sufferer of IBS here, the Ibs.
Ah.
Ah.
A regular
log, one that Gillian McKeith would approve
of, is a scarce event in my life.
Gosh. Imagine.
Sorry to hear it.
How the other half lives. And by other
half, I mean the bottom half. The bum.
And it takes
little more than a stiff breeze to set
me off, Despite this,
my Herculean sphincter has served me well all these years.
Good old sphincter.
Yeah.
Whilst backpacking,
uh,
in Australia this year,
I was talking to my sister who introduced me to Budpod about if she had any stories to submit.
She told me of a time she was at a party,
a party. A party. She was at a party.
And went to the bathroom
with her fellow female friend,
her FFF.
As women do. Without warning.
Without prior warning.
What are they doing in there, Pierre?
What are they doing?
What are they doing?
What are they doing?
Having some sort of mating?
You and I go to the bathroom together.
Yeah.
Hundreds of times.
Why?
Yeah.
I mean, women go to the bathroom together,
but men do piss openly standing next to each other.
That's true.
That's true.
We don't need to arrange to do it
because we already know we're going to see each other in there. we're in there see you in there yeah we're not women are let's go in
men are see you in there i will see you in there sir meet you there meet you there at the pisser
so she goes in the bathroom with a female friend as women do but without prior warning her friend began to shit oh okay and they're in like a toilet together yeah at a party so it's like oh classic party
scene like the girls on the loo and her friend standing there chatting to her that shows
obviously this person is expecting a sociable piss but suddenly logs are coming out of her friend
oh boy and in that moment you have to choose between maintaining a straight face and
just going sorry are you shitting why is it so much worse why is it i mean i know it is but
what is it that explains that leap in seriousness
i think it's because you have to be pretty dehydrated to do a piss that I can smell from across the room.
Right.
So it's a smell aspect.
I think a smell is so invasive and so linked with memory.
But I think it's also a solidity aspect.
I think there's something more serious about you pushing something solid
out of you. And being in the presence
of someone who's having something solid
leave their body.
Cavity. It's much more visceral.
And also the pee could
be hitting the side of the bowl
and be almost silent, whereas there's like
heaving these fucking logs out of yourself.
And you're like going
whatever, like horrible
noises it's too it's too much it's yeah yeah it's gross too much so this lady just starts
shitting but being an honorable friend connor's sister stayed with her in the loo that's yeah
that's pretty wild so there wasn't anything particularly noteworthy about the deposit itself.
Her technique, however, was most peculiar.
We've heard this before, but there's more detail than ever before.
She had wrapped many layers of tissue around her hand and had positioned it underneath her anus to catch the matter
in a 12-ply hand
hammock. We've heard of this.
Men do a lot of weird
stuff, but this must be the most mentally
ill thing that women do. This takes a biscuit.
Catching turds. It's for the
sound, right? Well, let's
I'll get on to that. Okay.
Spending your life
catching turds
in a shit mitt.
It's just...
It's behavior
that I would expect to see
in one flew over
the cuckoo's nest.
Not as standard
in like one out of
every five women
or whatever it is.
It's so weird.
Anyway.
So,
there's detail, Phil.
There's detail.
Yeah. It's so weird Anyway So there's detail Phil After questioning
She told my sister
That her mother taught her to do it
As a child to make less of a mess
No
No
Mothers don't let your babies
Grow up to Po poop in their hands
that's wild what kind of parenting is that they fuck you up your mom and dad they don't mean to
but they do they teach you to make a fist of paper to catch it when you do a poo nice that's
me and philip larkin working together there yeah they fuck your mom and dad
they don't mean to but they do teach you to make a tissue pad to lay upon your poopy poo
yeah so i it continues i know i don't know what kind of messes she'd made as a child to
necessitate this or if they simply had no of messes she'd made as a child to necessitate this,
or if they simply had no toilet brush in the house,
but teaching your child to shit in their hand
and having them continue this into their 20s,
I mean, heaven help us.
So does Connor say, does she poop into her hand
and then lay it into the toilet bowl,
or does she take it elsewhere?
Like a sleeping kitten.
Yeah. Like laying Moses among the reeds
Yeah
Later this year I told my Welsh friend
Of this story
Let's call her Gwynedd
Gwynedd
Lovely Welsh name
It is a special TH sound
That we used to have in English
Which was a D with a curvy top
With a cross through called a thorn
Oh well the cross is called a thorn
No no the whole letter is called thorn
The symbol rather
And the TH sound
Is the TH of within
Not with
Ah
So it's between a TH and a D
Within
Yeah so it's not quite a and a D Within Gwynedd Gwynedd
Gwynedd
Yeah so it's not quite a D
It's a little softer than that
Yeah
It's a limp
It's a limp D
Gwynedd
Cut to a couple of weeks afterwards
And Gwynedd is staying in an Airbnb
In the Melbourne city centre
With a group of girls she met backpacking.
Beautiful city. Beautiful.
They have
been instructed that only one of the
toilets is for shitting as the other can't
handle it.
This is traumatising. Beautiful city for shitting.
Beautiful. Now,
only one of these toilets is for shitting
and the other one only tells lies.
It's up to you to figure out which one's really for shitting.
Because they'll both say they are.
But one can't handle it.
There's an answer to that riddle.
Yes, there is.
Because logically you ask the one that lies about the other one or something yeah like you
ask the one that lies can they tell a lie or something like this yeah there's some paradox
that that gets at it yeah yeah so they've been told that however the fully functioning toilet
is an en suite with nothing but half a curtain separating the room okay so it's not really an en suite it's a toilet in a bedroom
oh no this is such classic airbnb shit yeah b&b sucks man yeah it's really declined there's lots
of articles about how it's a part of shit now and everyone hates it and people are going back
to hotels and it needs a hard reset yeah oh yeah it's like hey it it's as expensive as a hotel but you have to clean up after yourself.
Oh well no then.
Have you got some like parakeets outside or something?
Yeah there are many birds in my news.
Many rooms in my father's house.
What is that from?
Many rooms in my father's house.
Christianity.
Oh.
Poor Gwyneth is also a victim of ibs and was currently at defcon 2 oh dear but the lucky resident of the ensuite room had taken
a lover for the night and things had most likely a lover and things had most likely and things had most likely
taken a turn for the French
ah I like that
I like that a lot
inspired by my sister's story she
deployed the hammock technique
in the now only available toilet
the non-pooing one and deposited
her droppings in the bathroom bin
oh
that's so much worse.
Although not very far off from
what you have to do in Greece,
as I've covered on this podcast.
Yes.
You wipe your ass and you have to put it in the bin
because the drains can't handle tissue.
After meekly returning to the living room,
the other girls could see on her face
what she had done.
Oh, no.
You did what Connor's sister's friend did, didn't you?
Ha ha ha.
Oh no.
You did what Connor's sister
did. Did you shit on your hand?
You made a hammock for your poo.
Gwyneth nodded before being shamed
into taking her human poo bag to the bins
out in the street like a dog walker.
Oh my god.
Gross.
P.S. I just remember the time my sister blocked our cousin's toilet in Boston
and used a novelty Boston Red Sox baseball cap shaped ice cream cup
to scoop the shitty water out of the first floor window.
Horrible.
Oh my gosh.
Poor Gwyneth.
She has previous.
Ah, Gwyneth. Oh Poor Gwynedd. She has previous. Yeah, Gwynedd.
Oh, Gwynedd.
I look forward to taking my mother to Pierre's show in Norwich in October.
As a fellow war boy, may I suggest you stop by the Arboretum
for an average cocktail with the atmosphere of an Anderson shelter.
Philip, until next time, keep on jacking it, gentlemen.
I know you will.
Oh, we will.
Don't you worry about us will don't you worry about us
don't you worry about us
nice to hear from a war boy though
yes war boys we must stick together
we really must stick together
and patrons
and pod buds we must also stick together
as this
episode's over but we must stick together
for next time
yes
this should be coming out on the
poopoolala
18th of August I think
wow
well no this is a bonus pod
yeah yeah yeah
I was looking at July
you were looking at July
so I'll be bang smack in the middle
of losing my entire sense of self at the
Fringe. Oh yeah. And Phil will be
on Hollybobs. I'll
actually be away filming.
Abroad!
Can you
give us a clue what it is?
Um, hmm.
It's gonna be hot.
It's gonna be very hot and
ancient. Ancient? Hot and ancient. Ooh, that's how to be hot. It's going to be very hot and ancient.
Ancient?
Hot and ancient.
Oh, that's how I like them.
That's how I like them.
That's how I like them.
They don't make them like they used to.
But until after that, much love and bye-bye.
Okay, guys.
Bye-bye.
Bye.