BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 265 - Beef Hangover
Episode Date: May 8, 2024Go see Pierre at the Bloomsbury! https://www.ucl.ac.uk/event-ticketing/app/?ev=24039Pre-order Pierre's book! https://geni.us/pierrenovelliebookThe lads discuss beef, hangovers, gigs, books, eating pla...nts, we HIGHLY RECOMMEND CIVIL WAR, and correspondence from Mark who is spreading the word of the BudGospel, feat. Curb 33AD Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's Bud Pod 265.
265.
Too sick to be alive.
That's me right now, because I'm hanging, baby.
I'm hanging over, son.
I'm so hungover.
I had a nice dinner party.
I had a nice dinner party in my house yesterday night.
And I don't know if I've mentioned this on the podcast, but our friend and manager Julian,
very kind, very kind good man for a gift got me a steak subscription.
Yes, he's been sending you animal parts through the post in the kindest
possible way. Honestly, subscription culture has gone too far. You know that wasn't rule rule 44
of the internet rule 45, which is like if you can imagine it, there is porn of it. Yeah, rule rule
34. 34. yeah, rule 34.
If you can imagine it, there's porn of it on the internet.
I will now want to posit, I don't know what we're at, rule 218.
If you can imagine it, there's a subscription service for it.
Ah, yes, yes, yes, that's good.
It's a kind of gift. But once a month I get a not insubstantial amount of beef delivered to my home.
My girlfriend is vegetarian and the portion of this latest shipment, which I already have.
I had the last one is still in the freezer and then this one arrived.
I couldn't get the last one in time. So I was two down. I was two beefs down and I had
to start catching abs. And this shipment, Pierre, came with a recipe and this is how
much beef you get sent every month. The recipe was for serves 10. No. Serves 10.
The recipe they give you to cook the beef,
it's all measures for 10.
For cooking all of it at once.
And I'm thinking, is this subscription
for a person or a restaurant?
Is this a gift subscription for a restaurant?
It's a subscription for a baron.
You have to feast your squires or something.
It's subscription for Karl Drogo or something. It's a lot of beef. And so once a month now,
I need to get people around to eat beef with me, to cleanse me of the beef, to save me from my beef. And last night was one of those nights.
And it was good.
It was beefmas Eve.
Well, I guess I was beefmas.
Yeah, it was beefmas.
Today is a cow boxing day.
I don't know what beef boxing day.
Yeah, yeah.
And this thing, I marinated it overnight in a crazy mix of garlic and rosemary and thyme
and lemon juice and honey and Dijon mustard and so much.
And we drank lots of wine and I had some whiskey and today, it was a lovely night, but today
I'm hanging.
Not really the headache kind of hanging, but just like the, ugh.
I didn't even act that burp.
Was that a real burp?
That was real.
That's the hang of it.
I thought that was the kind of acting that got you into wonky.
That was great.
I was like so impressed.
No, that was real.
That was real in the moment method belch.
Yeah, yeah.
It's just like-
Daniel Day vomit over here.
And of course, I remember as I got into bed last night, I fucking too or whatever.
Oh yeah, I've got a personal training session tomorrow morning.
No.
So this morning I had to go and see-
You went, you actually went.
I went because it's too late to cancel. And
these sessions are not cheap. That's true. And you hate waste. You hate wasting money.
You hate wasting money so much that you'd go to a PT session hungover. Yeah. And I don't
care if I in effect end up wasting the session anyway, because I'm like, at least I made the effort to go over.
And we, I just, we did this like body weight training stuff.
We did a shorter session today and it was just like squats and pushups and
sit ups and pull ups with sort of breaks in between for me to go,
sorry, just, just a second.
But you didn't feel like you were going to be sick, right? A couple of times. Like I was in the push-up position. It's like, just give me a sec.
Because the push-up position is literally vomiting position and your body's like,
oh, I guess we're going for it. Yeah, that's true. You're essentially planking at a sort of action angle.
And the sit-ups is like, hmm, what's the last thing I want to do right now?
I don't know, squeeze my belly again and again.
I want to do like a cartoon accordion motion on my big vomit bag that I have here.
I'm going to smush the vomit bag and hopefully no vomit comes out.
Oh gosh, but good old, my present trainer is Philip,
a lovely Czech man called Philip, also Philip,
but with an F.
And he was patient with me.
How much, Phil, how much, like, when you're hungover,
did you have that special sweat
that kind of just sits on your skin, like condensation?
Yeah, like the wax of an apple all over your body.
You got like, you know?
Yes.
Yes, the sheen.
Yeah, is this oil?
Is this grease?
Is this sweat, water? What is it?
That's, yeah.
And it's so high in salinity that it doesn't feel like water. It feels, yeah,
textural in a way that...
It's a film.
Have I been varnished? Did someone varnish me as a prank?
I've woken up all lacquered here.
I, yeah, I've got the warm head and I've got the hunger.
I've got, when I'm on a hangover, my body just goes, Chinese takeaway, now!
And I had to order wonton soup and a whole big thing of chicken chow mein and dim sum.
Dim sum is the best hangover food. Don't at me. Yeah. Yeah, it is. I don't
know why. I think it's sort of, it's sort of, it's, it's meaty and greasy, but also
like comforting and sort of warm and steamy. And I, I, this is probably quite a personal thing.
I imagine for most people,
the last thing they want on a hangover is like a bunch of steamed prawn,
but it works for me. And I went to the corner shop,
lovely Julian, different Julian.
Julian's a guy called Julian runs a shop near me and I,
uh, I go went over and said hi to Julian and bought a couple of cokes and
This guy is so chatty this guy Julian. He's a bit of a neighborhood
Institution
I don't know. I can't tell if he actually remembers me from all the previous times
I've been or if he's just a kind of person who talks to you as if you are there every day
Okay, so you can't tell if it's real or sort of
NPC I don't think he's being under politeness. I think he really does want to talk. He's just a really chatty
guy. To the point where I think that's what he... I think he doesn't actually have interest
in selling things. He just wanted a place where people could come and he could talk
to them. Like a chat trap. Yeah, it's very enough. But I mean, I was, I was there
30 seconds and I know he's going to Cyprus next week to fix up his
flat because he has a flat there. No one really stays in it. And,
you know, you can't just leave a flat unattended. You got to go
back and otherwise it falls apart. So I now know he has a
flat in Cyprus is going next week and I was there 10 seconds.
And you know, his philosophy regarding overseas property. Yeah, it's almost like with every customer, he has a flat in Cyprus, he's going next week. And I was there 10 seconds. And you know his philosophy regarding overseas property.
Yeah, yeah.
It's almost like with every customer,
he sets himself a challenge of how much information
can I impart in the smallest amount of time
to a complete stranger.
Yeah.
But I-
He's the chat version of for sale baby shoes never worn.
It's like the lowest number of words,
highest number of, highest amount of information in part.
And he, well, I went to get some full fat cokes because my body was just like, I need
a full fat coke. Yeah.
And it really helped just just demolishing a Chinese takeaway
and burping down a Coke.
It just does a world of good.
I've got hangover envy now.
I'm not hungover and hearing this,
I kind of wish I was, this sounds great.
There is something kind of pleasurable about a hangover
because it's a bit like being jet lagged
because you kind of write the day off
and anything you achieve is sort of a bonus.
I read once somewhere that,
I can't remember if it was someone talking about themselves
or talking about someone they knew,
but that part of the way that they were an alcoholic
was that they were addicted to the hangover.
What?
Yeah, because it's like a special day
where every tiny thing is an achievement
and you get to feel sorry for yourself
and do whatever you want to do guilt-free
because, hey, I'm hungover, uh-oh.
Man, that's...
It was like a Munchausen syndrome thing.
I'm ill, be nice to me.
I didn't think we could come up
with an even more depressing version of alcoholism.
But I think that is new most depressing version of alcoholism just dropped, Pierre.
Because that is horrible.
Yeah, and because this is someone who was obviously very hard on themselves at all other
times.
But when they were hungover, they felt they had an excuse to be like, I'm going to lie
on the couch and watch a movie. I can enjoy a hangover a day, but I would
never wish it upon myself. No, no. Yeah, I think, uh, I think that's it. But it's an
interesting idea to be addicted to not to the main show as it were, but to the after
party. Yeah.
It's not something I would say because I guess it's a particular kind of hangover.
It's the kind of one that you're having right now, which is bad enough to be indulged, but
not so bad that it means that actually you really are just extremely unwell.
Yeah.
And no headache today, which is...
Oh, nice.
Yeah, that's nice. Yeah. Yeah, and no headache today, which is... Oh, nice! Yeah, that's no... yeah.
Yeah, man.
But my hangover's like, I feel a bit alright in the morning, and then I feel a bit...
And then by the evening I'm just so tired.
I'm just so sleepy!
Because I didn't sleep proper!
I didn't sleep proper, guvna!
You're the most tired guy I know.
Already, and just in normal situations I'm the most tired guy you know. Already, just in normal situations, I'm the most tired guy you know.
Yeah, I'm so fascinated by-
I'm like the Hulk, but instead of,
you know when he goes,
when Iron Man's like, watch a secret or whatever,
and he goes, I'm always angry.
Me is like, I'm always tired.
I have in my head whenever I'm tired, the song you did about being sleepy in nightclubs
in like Bud Pods 14 or whatever.
I still remember that.
Yeah, you singing, I'm so sleepy.
I'm so tired.
Yeah.
And it's like a, it's a song about how whenever you go clubbing, you just on the dance floor
and you suddenly get exhausted.
You're really tired, but you're like fighting through it.
I can't remember what episode that is,
but it's out there somewhere.
Ah, so sleepy.
Yeah, that's in my head.
You singing that in this kind of fake disco voice.
Yeah, that sounds like me.
Yeah.
Oof, I'm a tired, tired boy.
Yeah, I'm so fascinated by your tiredness I have the same attitude to your tiredness as I do with like
orangutans you're learning how to use tools I have no idea how it happens but
I'm desperate to know how and why because I can't figure out the pattern
of your tiredness I don't really have much stamina. Again, this when
I'm working out as well, like first couple of reps, I'm like, Oh, look at this. Yes.
Pow pow. And then instantly my body's like, ah, yeah, I just get tired real quick. I'm
fatigue. I'm fatigue, man. That's my superpower. Fatigue. Fatigue.
So what, what, how are you going to recover?
We're recording this just after lunch.
Yeah. So I just had a huge Chinese takeaway. I've got a cup of tea.
I've had a Coke and I've had a coffee in the morning. Um,
which for you is a lot of caffeine.
It's a lot of caffeine. After this,
I'm going to have another coffee and a bit of leftover pastry with some
sugars. Sure. And I've got that dinner party washing
up to do, Pierre. No. You know when you have a dinner party and every single piece of crockery
in your whole house is dirty? Everything is dirty. I don't even remember using that glass.
Tiny, tiny bowls. Tiny little bowls have got some sort of sauce in them.
Yep.
There's splodges everywhere.
So I'm going to have to do that.
And then I need to record a self tape audition today.
Is it for burping man?
Yeah. Fortunately the part is vomiting
asshole
The character is called vomiting asshole
and so
I'm perfectly positioned for that. I think I think I'm gonna get it. Yeah, basically. I think I'm gonna get it
Yeah, I think so. Do you have to do any accents? I would not
That's the accent I have to do. That's good you're fluent in that now. You wouldn't know he wasn't born there. I do have to do an American accent so I gotta
practice that I guess that that that that I gotta practice that. By it. By it. I wish
I wish I wish auditions for American accents were specific to a particular region, because then you could just go really hard.
But the hardest is general American for an English person, because you go...
Because for the most... Like 80% of the time you're fine, but then one thing will go just whoop!
The whole wrong direction one way or another.
You'll suddenly sound too English, or you'll sound like you're in Any Get Your Gun.
English or you sound like you're in any get your gun and yeah I even have that with um I can hear sometimes when I'm sounding particularly British and then I'll say
um yes and then the thing is is that he just switched the light off yes yeah and that office
office South African and I'll have to sort of go yes and then he switched the light
off. He switched the light. I just can't make my mouth do it. But even good professional actors
still mess up like their accents. I was watching a little Little Lies. It has that Nicole Kidman
in it. And she's great. But from time to time she sounds a bit Australian. So I'm like,
if at that level you can slip up from time to time, then surely I'm allowed.
Yeah, I think that's why you should be really... That's the real superpower being famous is
that you can kind of half do an accent and everyone's like, well, you're still Nicole Kidman.
Yeah. Yeah.
So you're forgiven for this. You're Leonardo DiCaprio in Blood Diamond where your accent goes missing whenever you whisper.
I liked his accent in Blood Diamond. I liked it.
It was pretty good.
Yeah.
There's a bit where he whispers and he just goes right back to being American.
He's like, oh, what?
Why are you so American when you're being quiet?
Blood diamond, blood, blood, blood diamond.
Diamond.
Diamond.
Leo, Leonardo,
DiCaprio, DiCaprio,E-O. Yeah, yeah.
Ha ha ha ha ha.
Oh man, I, oh I should say Koji to any Bud Pod.
There's a couple of Bud Pod fans
who've seen me opening for Frank.
All I've been doing lately,
Phil, while you've been entertaining
the great and the good of London
at your fabulous soirees.
Yeah, at my, at my beef festivals, at my beef orgies.
Well, you've been having beef orgies with the liberal metropolitan elite, Phil.
Some of us have been out busting our humps for the good working people of England. Like me opening
for Frank's Skin is what I'm talking about. And there's a couple of Bud Pod fans have
seen me do it. I got some messages from people saying they didn't want to shout Koji. And
fair enough. I guess it's not a Koji scenario.
It's Frank's show.
So you want to shout Koji out.
Yes, yes.
Not particularly Koji friendly environment, I suppose.
No, no, no.
But not Koji appropriate.
No, exactly.
But thank you guys for that.
And I'm gonna put it right in here instead of at the end.
22nd of June.
So in about a month, 22nd of June,
that's my extra show at the Bloomsbury Theatre in London.
I did the Soho Theatre run, lots of you guys came,
Koji and thank you.
If you liked it, if you liked it, share,
tell people to come and see the Bloomsbury Theatre show
22nd of June.
It's probably the last time I'll do it in London.
There are no other times scheduled.
So if you want to see Why Are You Laughing,
then come, come, come, come.
My girlfriend was at her friend's house
for lunch with other friends and maybe friends of friends.
And a bunch of gals were going, in June,
we're going to see this comedian.
No way.
Yeah.
And she's like, who?
Oh, he's great. He's on Frank Skinner's radio show. He's really funny
Yeah, no value. We're gonna see Pierre Navelli in June. No way. Yeah. Yeah, but you young bunch of young cool girls. Oh
Man, what a world. What a world. What a world. What a world
And so and your girlfriend was like, well you better not go see it. I saw it at SoHo.
And it was outrageous.
He slandered the queen's good name.
Did she try and put them off?
That's great.
I'm so glad to hear that.
That's always like, it might sound strange to anyone
listening who thinks that when you're a comedian
and you do stuff like be on the radio, be on TV,
be on Netflix, whatever,
that you should be psychologically used to the idea that someone who doesn't know you
will recommend you to someone else
without you asking them or having gone to school with them.
But it still blows my mind every time I hear about it.
It blows my mind still to hear that someone is coming.
Like when I'm at the show,
when I'm at the show, when I'm at the show
and there's people in the audience, I'm like, yeah, this makes sense. But then if I haven't
counted any of the stages before that where they're like, yeah, me and a few people have
bought tickets to go and see you and I'm like, what really? That's crazy to me. Because you
know what I mean? Yeah. Because the context, when you perform stand up in a room in front of hundreds of people,
in order not to go insane, your mind goes, these people are part of the building and
they kind of grew out of the seeds.
They're like the pirates in Pirates of the Caribbean that are welded into the ship's
hull from coral and stuff.
Because your mind won't let you perceive the preparation, the babysitters, the planning,
the transport, the dinner beforehand, the drinks after, the schedules.
The WhatsApp groups.
The WhatsApp groups, the chats.
Because once you think about that, you realize how crazy what you're doing actually is.
Yeah.
And how much pressure there is on you.
How much cumulative pressure there is.
You've promised, you've promised to hundreds of people, please do all of that.
Please do all of that for me.
Book the babysitter, start a WhatsApp group with a funny name, arrange a train time, meet
at a pub, do all of that for me.
I will be very funny for an hour on my own with no help or a projector or music or just
I will only talk.
There will be no costumes.
There will be no sounds.
But also what I'm doing is subjective
So you might not like it actually
After all of that
There's a chance someone you bring will resent you forever
Cuz you and they'll be angry that you liked
Yeah, they'll be ready to come
Do come and see this thing. It's psychotic. Yeah, it is. It is. And so you mustn't let yourself really think about the fundamentals of what is happening.
No, because you're promising something that sounds like a lie.
All I will have to do is talk, just blah, blah, blah, blah, blahabla with my mouth and everyone in the room will laugh
It sounds like a con. Yeah, it sounds like something Caesar would say before he gets taken out
Or like a mad prophet or something you think well you can't be possible
Sometimes when I'm opening for Frank he did this in 2019 when I was on tour with him
He'd do this thing which always made me laugh where he would stand next to me right before I was about to introduce myself and walk on as the opening act. And he'd
stand next to me in the wings. And these are theaters with, you know, between one and two
or three thousand people in, like it's a lot of people. And there'd be all the noise,
all the hubbub. Coming from behind, well I guess coming from in front of the curtain, Hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi,
hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi,
hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi,
hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi,
hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi,
hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, hi, In this really sincere expression of like, you're fucking mental.
There, in front of everyone.
You're going to go out there and talk to all of those people.
Horrible.
Last thing you want to...
Yeah.
You cannot let yourself be aware of that.
It's insane.
Yeah.
It's like Wile E. Coyote.
He only falls when he looks down.
Yes, exactly, exactly. Yeah.
And my other piece of tedious promo is that
I would love you to pre-order my book.
I've got some information.
Bud Pod listeners in Australia, New Zealand,
or North America.
Where is my information?
The colonies.
Everyone in the Commonwealth, listen up.
I'm only going to tell you this once.
What is it?
Okay. Alan and Unwin Australia will be publishing the physical edition of the book
in Australia and New Zealand.
Currently, the publication date for that is the 22nd of October.
So that's quite a long way.
But it's Alan and Unwin, whoever they are.
Those two guys, you go up to Jerry Allen and Books Unwin and you ask them for it, apparently.
If you're in Australia and New Zealand, audio will be available earlier, so direct them
to that if they're champing at the bit.
Bloop-de-Bloo. We are unsure about the US at this moment.
Aren't we all, Pierre? Aren't we all?
If only it was rare to express those sentiments, Philip, these days.
I've been reading Pierre's book and it's fantastic. I love it. I love it. It's it's lucid. It's funny. It's
interesting. It's well researched. It's it's educational. I'm learning a lot. I'm laughing
a lot. I love it. It's just very, very clear writing, which I think is pretty when you
read really good clear writing, you go, Ah, yeah, this is nice. I thought most writing
was clear and good. But actually thought most writing was clear and good but actually most
writing is unclear and bad yes thank you I will accept those compliments purely because they reflect
the fact that long after people were telling me I could stop going through the draft I kept going
through the draft Phil that's good fiddling and changing little things and trying to read it as
if I'd never read anything before in my life. Honestly, a book cannot be too clearly written.
You can't... Yeah?
Yeah. It's always worth making clear. Always.
Yeah.
BMN is a really great book.
Thanks, man.
And everyone should pre-order it. It's excellent.
I'll stick links to these two pieces of Pathetic Soft Promo in the episode description.
Click the episode description click the episode description
And there will be some juicy ass links for you to click on for your pleasure
For your pleasure
Boy what what are you do you have any can you recommend any hangover cures I've had
shower tea
Coca-Cola big Chinese takeaway exercise as well, which is meant to be good. I've done I
Think I think now I just need sleep. I just have to get I just have to survive until tonight. I think
Not always but a few times in my life something that's made me feel amazing when I'm hungover
Especially if it's a slightly humid day, like it feels like
today's quite humid. It is yeah, very wet. Is a really like a
nice and fairly chilled salad. What? I know it sounds crazy.
And I don't mean a boring salad. I mean like a nice one.
Okay. But I don't think I've had a salad on a hangover once in
my life. Now think about it. I know, I know. I don't think I've had a salad and a hangover once in my life. Now think about it.
I know. I tried it once by accident, but it had stuff like, you know,
feta in it and things. It was nice. I don't like feta. I don't like feta.
No, no. Sorry. Okay. Imagine something else nice. I don't know. Walnuts and blue cheese,
whatever. But it was something about, it felt like my body was reacting so well to just nutrition,
just fucking vegetables,
and like fresh and crunchy and like, ah, that is nice. Now, now we are healing. It felt like
I was bandaging something. You ever have like, you ever not to have vegetables for a stretch,
and then you have some like fresh cucumber or something and you can if you can feel your body go
like that just like it's catching up with
And oh i'm like, oh yeah, actually, yeah the body does need fresh vegetables. I forgot
That's it. We need to constantly eat leaves and terrible little uh things we've dug out of the floor
We do. You've got to indulge your inner herbivore dinosaur. As many different plants as possible in a week.
They've sort of abandoned the whole five a day thing,
but as many different plants as possible in a week.
I think you want to hit like 30 different plants
in a week or something.
But that- You've got to be plant maxing.
But that includes like ground pepper, you know, it's about getting plants in you basically. Oh
Really? Well, yeah, just plants different. Well, I don't know about pepper. I made that up. But yeah, just get different papers. Oh
Speaking of capers. Yeah, I recently watched the movie
Civil War. Have you seen Civil War about? Oh, yes,, I was going to ask you if you've seen Civil War yet?
Yeah, you've seen it.
What did you think?
I really liked it.
I liked it.
I, yes, I think that's the best, I think that's the most accurate appraisal that you can have for it.
I liked it. I thought it was really well done, I thought it was exciting.
really well done. I thought it was exciting. I, it's main thrust, which it delivered on was imagine if a war, the kind of war we're
used to seeing happen in war torn parts of the world. Imagine
that's happening in like America. And you go, yeah, that's
actually quite riveting.
You've not seen it before.
And they really commit to it.
Yeah, and because it's American culture, it's got things that you notice that you wouldn't
see in one of the places we're used to seeing it, like the fact that scene with a sniper,
no spoilers, but he had like multi-colored glittery nail varnish on.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He had like rainbow colored hair and, uh. And you go, oh yeah, because like, oh,
if there was some sort of civil war, there would be a bunch of like little hipsters involved. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Got it. And yeah, of course. Everyone sort of millennial and gen Z and,
yeah. And of course, and and Jesse Jesse Plemons turns up
in what is I think everyone agrees the best scene oh yeah he's fantastic he's
just so good at being just a fucking scary guy he's so good at being a normal
looking guy who's fucking terrifying like he's not he looks he's not big he
doesn't look strong but he's so scary like in Like in Breaking Bad, he's just so fucking scary.
And in this, he's just so scary.
The way he talks, the way he's like,
you just never, you don't know what he's thinking,
what he's gonna do.
And you can-
He's aggressively normal, but completely blank.
And that's very unsettling.
Yeah.
And he's- He's really-
He seems very judging of everything,
and there's something going on in his head at all times.
Oh, he gives me absolute creeps in this movie,
but he's so good.
Apparently, he brought those glasses.
Oh, really?
Oh, that's fun.
I think that really was so great.
Yeah, those glasses are such a great touch.
They're mental. They're such a mental object to be wearing
Yeah, I think that Civil War
It would have a lot more amazing reviews if it wasn't let down by
Its marketing and it's difficult if you make a movie like that
You have to talk to a production, you know
studio and the studio has financiers and the financiers
they have marketing concerns and
Everyone will have sat around a table and gone look
Every fucker and his mother will come and watch this movie if they think it's about culture war Trump versus Biden woke anti-woke bullshit
Mm-hmm if we heavily imply that and it's it's there's
Incredibly, I'd say there's an atom of
that in the film.
I can't even think of what it might be in the film. Yeah, you're right. But yeah, it
doesn't happen really.
It's like saying there's a sex scene in a movie where a lady really drags on a cigarette
fully closed. It's that subtle. And the marketing makes it seem like scene
one is going to be Donald Trump being lynched by drag queens. And so, or, and the marketing
is quite cleverly ambiguous, or scene one is Donald Trump lynching a drag queen. Either
way, that's what it implies. Everyone's going to get a slice of the porn they've been craving.
Both sides are going to get their share of... Yeah, both sides are going to be jacking off at different points in this horrible culture war
movie. And it's not, it's a movie about photojournalism. It's about photojournalism and
sort of, and really the fog of war. And it actually goes and the media and it goes at lengths
actually to obscure the reasons why this war is actually happening.
And I think the whole point is, you know, I think the observation is that by a certain
point in a long drawn out conflict, does it even matter why you started?
Do people even remember why you started?
The whole reason for fighting the war changes.
And by the end of it, a lot of time you're fighting a war because you're fighting a war
and you have your objectives and you have to try and achieve them.
And so I thought that was quite clever.
By the same time, I think that's the reason it hasn't had rave reviews because I think
people were looking for some political insight or stance or observation, but the observation is that by the end of it, it doesn't
actually matter, which I think is a good observation.
People want to be preached to.
Yes.
And the observation is more about the the the internality, if that's a word, the internal
lives and and souls or whatever of the kind of people who cover
this stuff as journalists.
And they're sort of, they're nice people, they're clever people, they're brave people,
but at a certain point they can become heartless pornographers.
And their job is to take the photo of the dying kid.
Their job is to take the photo of the guy who's been shot.
Their job is to get in there, be nice to horrible people,
photograph their execution of someone else,
and then leave and make money from that photo.
And that's what it is.
And that's important, but it doesn't mean it's nice.
Yeah.
And you have to, it's too easy to forget that
when you watch the footage or see the photos from somewhere like Vietnam or Somalia or wherever else.
Yeah, it's mad and it did make me realize, you know, there's a scene where one of the main characters takes a photo of someone who's just been shot and...
Yeah.
And when you watch them taking the photo, you're like, oh, that's a bit gross.
And then you see the photo and you realize you've seen that photo so many times in your
life.
And you never once thought, oh, that's a bit gross.
You just thought, whoa, look at that guy's been shot.
You don't, yeah.
And so it's interesting actually being confronted with watching a photo journalist take a photo
of someone in a real war getting killed.
Yeah, because they do that great thing where they do a freeze frame of the photo in black
and white.
And you go, oh yeah, every textbook, every, you know, the fucking the economist, whatever.
And then you have to see the body falling down.
And you go, because the photos never show you the bit afterwards where the body actually
falls down.
And someone has to drag it by its fucking legs to a big ditch or whatever.
You go, oh, God, yeah, fuck,
the before and after of this snapshot.
Yeah, yeah, exactly.
Yeah, I thought I was very good with that.
So as long as you can put the culture war porn aspect
out of your minds, I highly recommend it.
Approach the movie as something that is about photojournalism
in the same way that parts of Full Metal Jacket
were about getting the big story.
I could have done with more world building. You know me, I love a bit of world building in a post-apocalyptic society.
There's a couple of nods to it and a couple of... There's a sort of joke about what's
happened to the American economy quite early on in the film that was a really nice little
touch.
Yeah.
But I could have done with more.
I love that kind of thing in a movie. Yes was very subtle they really were careful because every extra detail
of world building they put in could tip the scale left wing or right wing yes
yes very careful it also is my kind of favorite kind of movie which is like a
road trip across America after society's broken down it was very it was very the
road it was giving the road for a down. It was very the road. It was giving
the road for a lot of it.
Yeah, very zombie film.
Yeah. But yes, Bud Pod recommends.
Yeah, thumbs up from the only anti-murder podcast, Pro Nuclear Bud Pod. We recommend
Civil War. If only for that, if only for
yeah, well, all of it. I liked and beautiful, like, like
striking scenes, like physically. Oh, yeah, really,
beautifully shot. And look, I have to say as a as a weirdo
who actually likes, you know, guns and has shotguns, really,
really good work on the like, what watch it in a cinema if you
can, because it's like being down range. It's so so loud I went in my girlfriend went to cover our ears for a
lot of it yeah yeah every gunshot it's like Jesus that's that's real it's not
like a cartoon gunshot that's that's exactly the sound that a yeah a rifle or
whatever makes when you're not wearing ear defenders near it yeah was, it's fantastic. It's so kinetic.
Good word. Yeah. Good word. Kinetic. Like Mad Max was kinetic because it was real stuff.
Objects. Hitting objects. New Furosu movie coming out this month.
I cannot wait. Yeah. I hope they've kept the objects. Smashing
the other objects. Crunchy, crunchy objects. It'd be insane.
Imagine if this New Feroz movie is all CG.
It would be insane.
Oh man, that would be such a betrayal.
Well speaking of people desperately fighting over the scraps of barren pointless wasteland,
let's read some correspondence. Yes.
Letters, emails, phone numbers, 20-deck emails, your sister will match with our field. To who?
Letters, correspondence.
We've got a message from Mark.
Mark, you knock. You message from Mark. Mark, you narc.
You narc.
What are you gonna narc?
You're gonna rat on us.
Oh yeah, you're gonna narc on old Bud Pod to the cups.
Saying these boys are talking about boo without a license.
What would we get narc'd on for?
Being pro-nuclear?
I don't know.
No, it's not legal being anti-murder was
staunchly anti-murder as I presume the police we know you you're why you hope
you hope so you'd hope they'd be our allies in that at the very least yeah
mark says dear st. Peter and the Philippians. Ah, the Philippians. That's one of the people that in the Bible, people always writing letters to.
Constant letters.
Yeah, to be a mark, mark to the Philippians, a Luke to the Philippians. Why was one guy always writing a letter to 1000 people? What kind of society was this? Was this a group chat? Was this the equivalent of a broadcast on WhatsApp? I don't know about the Philippians, but I did look up who the Ephesians
were because St. Paul was always writing to the Ephesians, I think. Yeah. And I had the same thing
where I went, hang on, what, what, what's this? What's this about? Is this like a Stan from Eminem
thing? Is he a big fan? Big fan of the Ephesians.
And was he just writing to all the Ephesians?
Did the letter turn up in Ephesia
and someone just went,
whoever wants to read this,
this is just addressed to any of us.
Or was it read out in a square?
Yeah.
I don't understand.
So, it was when they decided that Christianity
could include Hellenistic peoples, or they
would convert Hellenistic Jews as well.
When you could include Gentiles.
So they started a bunch of early churches in the Greek-speaking Hellenistic parts of
say Turkey or whatever.
I think Ephesians, I think that's Ephesus in southern Turkey.
And so the churches would be trying to figure out how to do Christianity and they would be written letters by these
people advising them on things or telling them stuff on how to be good at it. That is
my five-year-old summary of my understanding of this.
That's a good summary.
I think that's what it was.
It's certainly what I half remember it being about for the Ephesians. So Mark's Letters
to the Budpodians says... Yes. Yes. Mark's Letters to the Budpodians, chapter one, verse
one. Dear St. Peter and the Philippians, It feels disrespectful, almost sacrilegious to correspond
on a subject other than poo or tat, but I had a dream about Bud Pod, so I'm forced
to forgo convention.
No, you must tell us.
The dream was set about 2000 years ago.
Wow, this is precisely the time we were talking about.
Well so.
So, Philip.
I was listening to Bud Podd, presumably one of the earlier episodes.
Yes.
Episode 1 from 3380.
And you were discussing some random tidbits you'd plucked from the news.
And this is what I recall of the conversation with some embellishment.
So this is me and you chatting on Budpod
from 2000 years ago.
Oh, great.
In Mark's dream.
Yes, great.
So Pierre, did you hear about those people
who wrote a New Testament?
Phil, no, a New Testament.
Pierre, yeah, there was a group of guys
and one of them died, a crucifixion, I think.
Phil, ugh, I hate crucifixion.
That's gotta be one of the worst ways to die, horrible.
This guy's dream has us down.
Down, this is like, he's asked chat GPT to write an episode of Bud Pods set in Sumeria,
whatever it was, in 0 AD.
Yeah, so I say, oh yeah, anyway,
apparently he was the son of God.
Phil, the son of God, how did he get crucified?
If I was the son of God, I'd be like,
do you know who my dad is?
And I laugh and say, that's right.
And then you say, so what happened, Pierre?
Well, he died, came back to life a few days later,
and then just ascended to heaven.
And so his mates have written a biography of him
and called it the New Testament. Phil, I don't understand why we need a new
one. What's wrong with a good old testament we've been using for thousands of years? Yeah,
I guess it's quite outdated. It's a bit problematic. There's some nasty stuff in there. Phil, I
suppose. Well, I guess I'll read it, but it just seems a bit unnecessary. And that's where
the dream ended.
That's awesome. I love that. That's great. Well remembered. I'm always very envious of
people who can remember their dreams in so much detail.
Sometimes I can practically draw like a map of the building the dream was in. And sometimes
it is just like you wake up and you just think turtles and then it's gone
just gibberish also where's the last dream you remember oh they're like smoke when i wake up
they just waft away the last dream i remember it's probably about spider-man i've been playing
spider-man too so sometimes that gets in there
A lot of the time it's like oh like I'll have dreams about wrestling have been watching a lot of wrestling clips on our Instagram
Yeah, it's easy stuff like that
That's a funny sentence to say that's probably about spider-man
Like I never remember them and they're very rarely like cogent that they make sense and they're just kind of bitty and mishmash and unpleasant. Yeah.
A bit feverish.
I don't think I've had a nice dream since the pandemic, since lockdown.
I think lockdown ruined my dreams.
Oh, is it like not that you were having really nice ones in lockdown?
No, no.
Yeah.
I think lockdown made my dreams bad and they've never recovered.
Yeah, well we got praise from a few people saying that they felt less insane about their dreams when they heard us discussing our mad fucking dreams during the pandemic. Yeah, oh good,
yeah, yeah. I hope mine recover. They were crazy, I'd forgotten that. Yeah. Mark says,
that's where the dream ended. Apologies to anyone offended by the blasphemous nature of this dream,
but I'm just reporting the facts and can't be held responsible for the dreams content
I don't think that blasphemous is kind of if it sounds like something out of a Mel Brooks movie or something a New Testament
What's wrong with the old one why we got to throw it all away cuz some guy yeah, that's good
This could be in the Seinfeld diner. It's quite life of Brian really isn't it? Yeah?
Yeah, and also like you know we have it on record that there were This could be in the Seinfeld diner. It's quite life of Brian really, isn't it? Yeah. Exactly.
Yeah.
And also like, you know, we have it on record that there were...
Why Phil St. Thomas himself doubted.
It's very Kirby enthusiasm as well.
Why do we need a New Testament?
They crucified...
Jeez, they crucified him.
Oh, well, I don't know why we need it though.
Yeah, it's a That's terrible, but it doesn't mean that he was right. I'm just saying it doesn't mean that he was right.
That's what he'd get in trouble for.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What are you, got a heart made of stone, Larry? You fucking ass?
No, I'm agreeing, it's bad.
But then I'm saying, all I'm saying is I get crucified and then suddenly everything I said was right?
Is that what I... Is that the rule? Is that how this works?
Do I need to get crucified and then I win this argument we're having right now
Get out of here bald fuck
Personally I was appalled by the way you casually dismissed the word of our Lord, but I won't hold it against you
It's funny keep on jacking it to the name of the Father Son and Holy Ghost. Amen. Sincerely Mark
It's funny. Keep on jacking it in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Amen. Sincerely, Mark.
P.S. I hope the above script doesn't add fuel to the fire for those Bud Pod is a scripted conspiracy. Oh, of course. I forgot about this conspiracy the Bud Pod is scripted.
I mean-
We certainly don't have a team of 50 writers drawn from all the most elite schools in the US.
No, we certainly don't have that. We would never have that. That's a great dream,
though. And yeah, honestly, so lucid and cogent, the version of us in there. What is that? What's
the name of that age? The biblical age? The biblical age, I guess. It'd be the biblical age.
Yes. The biblical period. Early Christianity, late, late, um, late, uh, uh, uh, well, what's it called?
Late Classical?
I thought Classical, I thought, I thought Jesus was the end of the Classical era.
What is it called?
Names of eras.
Uh, Classical eras. 500 BC to 500 AD.
Oh, fair enough. I didn't know it went that late.
I guess that's right. Well, I mean, the Roman Empire only collapsed in the 400s, so...
And then the Eastern Roman Empire continued for another thousand years.
It sure did. It sure did.
But that is for another podcast.
Now it's time, Phil, to go to the VIP
era of early Christianity discussion letter writing club.
Okay, I'll try and figure that out. I'm trying to figure that out.
Yeah. Yeah.
It's not like I have a hangover or anything, Pierre, but...
No, no, no. you're firing on all cylinders
All right. Well look out for that patrons
Hope you enjoy me hearing me struggle through that on Friday and everyone else
Go see Pierre Bloomsbury order his book. Yes, please
Give me a little wave if you see me I guess.
Love you lots, talk to you again soon. Bye bye!