BudPod with Phil Wang & Pierre Novellie - Episode 95 - Kamehamehappy new year!
Episode Date: December 30, 2020It's a great episode to see out the year! The boys discuss Hawaiian kings, Japanese words and Chinese words, chicken lollipops, sweetbreads, fake or not fake commemorative t-shirts, the year 1995, vet...eran forum posters and what happened to them, the squid and the chicken nursery rhyme, chess terms and our possible status as Catalonian heroes. Get bonus BudPod on Patreon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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It's Budpod 95. Is 95 something?
95, fine and alive. Finey five.
Finey five.
Ninety...
Ninety five.
It's quite a nice number.
Again, we're into the golden era of the 90s here. 95.
That feels like one of the good years it was one of the
years that things get named after yeah yeah 95 was one of those years where you look back and
you think yeah you'd be pretty you'd feel pretty good about stuff if you were alive then a lot of
good stuff was happening
pretty much everywhere except the balkans that's right sorry balkans but uh everyone else was
having a pretty good time 95 is in a lot of uh old commemorative t-shirts that people still have
yes that's a good point yeah the random little the random little t-shirts that people still have. Yes, that's a good point.
Yeah, the random little t-shirts you can get from like TK Maxx.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
What is the deal behind those?
When you see one where it's like,
Spotswood Young Men's Athletic Association,
Indiana 98, go Bulldogs.
And you're like, what the, is this real?
And so we know you've made, you made this to sell here in the UK.
So have you made a boating club up?
Or is this a real one?
Yeah.
Am I expected to have heard of the boating club?
Were they famous for their polo shirts and and and was so sick they branched out and selling just polo shirts to people who weren't even members is that how this brand started i don't
understand i don't understand was there a year when we when everyone was into like you boating
was there a year when boating was widespread and everyone did it?
I don't understand how those shirts get made,
and I don't understand how TK Maxx gets a hold of one of them.
Yeah, TK Maxx is...
It's like someone turned a junk shop into a chain yeah it's like a rag and bone man
became a millionaire and made and created an empire of rag and bone shops
the across the country tk maxx doesn't sell more than one of any item and you have to just be lucky
that like i remember when we were at uni i went to tk max and i bought a pair of d black diesel
boots slash trainers and i've not i didn't see another pair in the shop of any size and
i've not seen a sink that shoe ever again since i think that part of the reason
it works as a chain is exactly that sort of semi semi real semi-artificial scarcity
because the high you get from being like i did it i got the one felt bowl in in t i got it the last bowl made completely a felt
i got it it was the only one in the tk max cambridge and i got it i got the last
heavy woolen dark blue blazer with a lotus flower pattern
lining
in the world.
Possibly the only one ever made.
Possibly the only one ever made.
Is it cut for someone with a huge beer belly?
Yeah!
It's such a weird...
Weird shot.
And you know what I don't understand about retail
yeah which is something i have to confront every day of my goddamn life
um one of the many things i don't understand about retail is what makes one shop fail
while a seemingly identical or similar shop doesn't.
Like, why has Debenhams failed, but TK Maxx has held on?
It doesn't make any sense to me.
Yeah, I don't get that either.
Because as you say, Debenhams is this huge chain in the UK
and has this long history behind it.
And everyone has sort of vaguely affectionate things to say about it.
Whereas TK Maxx sells random shoes and stuff by the counter,
like Himalayan sea salt.
That seems to always be by the counter.
That's right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like WHS became a teenager.
So it's not like sweets at the counter,
but like tattoos and piercings.
Yeah, that's it.
Do you know how old...
I pulled this fact up
when I was on Have I Got News For You recently.
But Debenhams,
when the first...
The same year the first Debenhams shop
was opened in London,
Captain Cook, was it James Cook, Captain Cook,
was it James Cook,
landed on Hawaii.
Whoa.
So the first,
it was the first Debenhams was opened
the same time
the first ever European
landed on Hawaii.
The first time Hawaii became
like part of the Western consciousness,
Debenhams opened their shop.
Do you think they managed to get the announcement out to Captain Cook?
The Debenhams was open.
Yeah, that's the only reason he left Hawaii.
That's the only reason he left.
Why, beautiful people, as many coconuts as I want,
the most beautiful vistas the world has to offer, why, beautiful people As many coconuts as I want The most beautiful vistas
The world has to offer
Why would I ever leave?
Captain, they've just opened
A huge shop in London
Where you can buy jumpers and folders
And
And make-up
And that's kind of it, actually
And he went, bye
Jove
I'll have to go Sorry, Umhataway And that's kind of it, actually. And he went, bye, Jove.
I'll have to go.
Sorry, Umhataway.
But my country calls. He turned to King, I think it's Kamehame, isn't it?
Kamehame or Kamehameha?
Yeah, it's the street fighter move.
Yeah, he turned to him and he said,
do you have an in-store burger chain?
And the guy, he said some stuff in Hawaiian,
and Captain Cook just waved his hand and went,
I'm out of here.
You guys carry on the colonizing and murdering without me.
Yeah.
There aren't nearly enough shirts here
that are simultaneously fun and adult
i can't get a i can't get a light pink pinstripe here
for god's sake yeah i forgot it's called kamehameha kamehameha yeah i i do remember
I forgot it's called Kamehameha.
Yeah.
I do remember reading that somewhere and thinking,
what made someone find that out and think,
that sounds like some kind of shooting force out of your hands.
Was it named directly after him?
Well, I mean, what are the odds they just made that up and it sounds exactly like him?
I would say high.
Really?
I would say there's a high probability that if you just came up with
a bunch of uh syllables someone in the past has been called that that's true and to be fair
kamehameha is all very sort of like ah it's all very like attack soundy isn't it
that's right it's like a war cry yeah whereas if you picked random syllables for
something that shoots like a beam of pure energy out of your hands you wouldn't choose floopy
floopy floop oh wait kamehameha is from dragon ball not street fighter yeah yeah yeah but they
do say it in street fighter don't they as well oh do they, do they? I'm just getting Goku here. Oh, no, that's because I've searched
Kamehameha Goku.
Street Fighter.
It's definitely in...
Yeah, it is also Kamehameha, yeah. Oh, no, Hadouken,
that's it. Street Fighter is Hadouken.
Hadouken.
When is Kamehameha?
What? Yeah, this is... Oh, now,
where has this article been my whole
life? From 2009. So, what came first? Hadouken or Kamehameha? Yeah, this is... Oh, now, where has this article been my whole life? From 2009.
So what came first?
Hadouken or Kamehameha?
Oh, hold on to your hats, folks.
Oh, it's not an article.
It's like a chat room, obviously.
It's just a bunch of people misspelling words and using way too many old-school message board emotes
when they're being rude to each other
No, it's just one of these nerdy
ones where everyone's just very genuine
and just trying to answer the question
and actually trying to be helpful
Do you know what, sometimes
I find these kind of message
board posts from the dying days
of message boards
and you'll see that like someone's posted
the query that i'm asking you know something about photoshop or or oh this thing doesn't work or
whatever and then one of the replies will be from a guy who's like a sort of legend legendary figure
on the message board yeah he's got like the equivalent of like generals medals yes yes
for
like wire fixer
dot
org
and he's got like five stars
and like trusted
contributor or something
and if it's like a fun forum
it'll be like legendary member and he's got like
emerald diamond like pixel gifs all over his thing and like yeah you expect him to have like
one eye that's completely whited out and with like a scar going across it and he walks with a cane
yeah and then on his profile like under his picture, it'll be like 82 million upvotes or posts.
And you're just like, Jesus Christ.
This guy knows.
Is this all you do?
This is all.
And then, yeah, and his little message board post signature will have a kind of ruby border or something.
Sparkling.
And my question, whenever I see those guys posting and their little profiles is what happened to you
because they're always like that no one uses message boards anymore or at least not to the
same extent they did and i always look at those guys profiles and think this was clearly your life. It was. It was. And I'm so glad they did
because now it's like unearthing
ancient dwarven textbooks or something.
It's like all these questions I have about my computer.
I look up and someone in 2007
answered a question on a forum somewhere
and who knows where they are now
if they're alive, what they're doing
but I'm glad they wrote
this down
It's funny isn't it, what will happen if in
like 2050 everyone's like
look we can't keep storing the whole
internet, we have to at least delete the porn
at least the porn from pre-2030
we can't, it's too much
okay so here i'm on an anime uh forum and it seems wash your hands
what wash your hands why i'm just implying it's full of dirty masturbators oh right right oh no
i'm clearing my history straight after this um just in case it's
it's like medusa don't look too closely at any of the anime phil or you'll become a weeb
um and it looks like i was right it is a complete coincidence
really in yes in japanese kamehameha means turtle destruction wave.
I don't know why turtle.
Beg your pardon?
Turtle destruction wave.
Isn't that just how Shera Cole would say total destruction wave?
It's a turtle destruction wave pit.
I mean, turtle destruction wave.
Where is Geordie Dragon Ball
where is it
I want it now
I'll
read man
how way that's
freezer
wait wait wait
Dragon Ball Vita Zane pet
there's something there
oh wait wait wait
oh okay actually
I think I know the name
it was Kame
right so actually you're actually a bit right.
So the Kame is the...
Right, right, right.
So Kame is the attack,
the type of attack that the Kamehameha is.
And the creator of Dragon Ball,
who I think is Akira Toriyama,
asked his wife, who came up with the the name she told akira that it would be
easy to remember the name of the attack if he uses the name of a cultural hawaiian king named
and in hawaiian it means the very lonely one or the one set apart oh yeah poor what a sad name
for a king yeah that's not a name for a king that's a that's
a name for a kind of um that's the name for an album by uh some very boyish young men with
eyeliner and floppy hair that got released in about 2006 the very lonely one yeah yeah Or it's like a superhero from an Alan Moore Book
Yeah
Yeah
So depressing
Even Alan Moore was like
I've got to delete this
People can't cope
So in the most
Satisfactory of all outcomes
It seems Pierre we are both a bit right
Yes
It does mean some kind
of destruction wave in japanese and also the name of hawaiian king i imagine that's where turtle
comes from in the japanese translation and that's just an unfortunate random bit of translating
the hawaiian king name kamehameha it's amazing isn't it that even when japanese is in japanese
it still has baffling sections of randomness to it.
Do you think...
I guess that's what happens with Japanese a lot, right?
Because if you have a syllabic language,
there are only so many consonants and vowels.
That's true, but... I mean, it's certainly more the case for mandarin because in in japanese you can
you can link syllables together to create a word which is broadly similar to english yeah
but in chinese it's very strictly one word is one syllable
and there are only so many to go around.
Oh yeah.
Mandarin is a bit more like German in that sense
in that you just have a set number of
words and you have to link words
together if there's something new has come about
that you don't have the word for.
That's how in Chinese you end up with words like business goose for penguin.
Is that true, though?
I thought that wasn't true.
It's like I looked up the definition as like enterprise goose.
It's something of that ilk.
That explains why every now and then, in the before time, when things were allowed,
you and I would go to a Chinese eatery,
and I would ask you to dredge up some of your long-lost Mandarin alphabet knowledge
for parts of the menu.
But then it was always so interesting to me
that every now and then there'd be something
where you could read what the thing was,
but you still had no way of discerning what it was.
Well, I'd probably be able to read three of the words
and it'd be like,
fried stones pot.
What's fried stones?
They've definitely not fried some stones.
So is there
some sort of
crustacean in there that looks like a stone?
Yeah, it would always be something
like green reversed beef.
We'd sit there and be like, reverse beef?
But it's beef in reverse.
Feeb.
Speaking of reverse beef, how was your Christmas Day lunch?
So some delicious feeb
feeb roast it was fine it was fine I had
already I had already before we were put
into tier 4 I'd already evacuated whoa
that's how afraid I was of coronavirus
I'd already evacuated so I was I was
managed to be with some family at
least yeah there's a funny thing but um your friend and mine uh george four acres uh the
comedian and actor uh was in uh tier two which then became tier three which then became tier
four all within like a week or something and he felt he said a curious guilt even though he'd done nothing wrong because he was already there and
i know what he means you do feel like uh you've slipped under the the thing indiana jones style
you know yeah it's a kind of survivor's guilt quickly quickly grabbing your mask instead of like Indiana Jones. Yeah.
Yeah.
How about you?
Yeah, it was nice.
Just me and my sister at home.
We just had some... We had some roast duck legs,
which was really delish.
Just really simple meal.
Like, the first time I can...
The first Christmas lunch i can ever remember where
there were no leftovers like we made exactly the amount that we needed for that day and there was
nothing left over there's like a couple of beans left but there isn't a mountain of turkey or
mountain of brussels sprouts or anything we just made what we needed and there was a yeah there was a a real satisfaction to that um especially when like
i got sent photos of like friends who like had an entire turkey between three people it's like well
what do you need to do that for i i went down to the uh i went to the butchers on uh was it
christmas eve like early in the morning on christ Eve. Just to see if we could get,
or maybe even the 23rd,
to see if we could get a full duck.
Because I thought,
ah, that's about a responsible size of bird
to have between two.
And I got there,
and the cue out of this butcher was,
I'd never seen anything like it, man.
Really?
Oh, it just went,
it snaked and snaked and went around,
went down the street and then curled around
and came back up it and went off a side road um and i just i just took a video sent it
back to my sisters like we'll just have the legs and i just walked home a friend of mine
what was more committed she went early in the morning like early in the morning to her butchers
and even then she was in the queue for two and a half hours.
Two and a half hours?
Two and a half hours queuing outside.
And at the end, she got a chicken.
She got a chicken.
A chicken?
Yeah.
Presumably that's not what she had dreamt of.
I can't bring myself to press her on that i presume it wasn't but i have to be supportive and say well well done good i mean to be fair to
even like we couldn't see we can see chickens in our in our supermarket either like a full chicken they were gone yeah i mean it's it's a funny thing of like
how can they it doesn't the shortages thing just seems insane because
were there really that many chickens on those lorries you know
actually i guess it's kind of like that every year everyone does just go fucking ape shit don't they
that's true it's usually hard to People usually have to book your turkeys.
But I think what's happened in London because of the timing of the new restrictions is that...
I don't think London usually stocks for that many Christmas birds because so many people leave London for that.
Ah, yes.
Whereas suddenly this year...
And then countrywide, it was the case that people assumed Christmas was going ahead late enough
that all these families bought a full Christmas dinner and then found out that they couldn't.
So then the people left over in London bought, as it were, a second round of Christmas supplies.
A Christmas dinner for the road.
And so, you know, but we got out of it fine that's true yes i i often wonder
about that i because in my head the only way the shortages make sense if there's some mental family
out there where someone's just gone well we'll need a turkey for for most of the days right each
every day a new turkey yeah every day a new beast is unveiled.
How did the turkey end up being... Because that's an America bird.
That's an American bird, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think it's another one of the sort of late Victorian things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, because he gets a turkey in A Christmas Carol, right?
Or is it a goose?
If it's a turkey or a goose, but they definitely...
I think it's because turkeys fatten up
so nicely and are so big and
breasty.
So I think they were sort of well known
as these giant, ludicrously
easy to fatten up birds.
Even in the Victorian era, people were just like,
bloody hell.
Yeah.
God, can you imagine how lucky you felt when
you when you when you just discovered america well discovered in inverted commas but discovered
america and you're like hmm i hope this place can sustain me and just balls of meat are wandering
around the forest and they're incredibly easy to kill they're really
dumb and they're slow and they're easy to hit and they're full of meat yeah um yeah well that's
well they the settlers originally ate so much corn that they didn't have any uh some chemical
that you need dextrin or something,
that you can't get if you just eat corn.
You have strokes and dementia and you go mad.
Ooh.
The early settlers didn't know how to
cultivate stuff in their terrain.
They had some weirdly...
Which to me is weird because it's like,
well, aren't you already fucking farmers?
What's the...
Were they farmers or were're just religious nutcases i had to like
pick up farming skills as they went yeah but in those days in my in my head it's like well
what were you if not a farmer you're not a you're not a graphic designer
like maybe this maybe society had reached enough an advanced enough stage
of specialization that
you could just be a churner
Like you just churned
butter, but
further up the chain
you were useless
Well, if anyone needs me to
wank them off, I have the skills, but otherwise
Handouts of corn
I'm trying to look this up
the story of Jamestown is horrific
Jamestown?
yeah the first sort of major settlement
in the north
where we'd call the United States
like 1601
or something maybe earlier
well they went nuts because they
just ate too much corn well they had this weird corn thing happening and they also
oh god yeah they dismembered and cannibalized a 14 year old girl they've just found they found
a grave with that on oh yeah i'm just saying that they're starving and under siege and freezing cold and yeah yeah it's the same reason i'd never get
the new playstation straight away it's like let other people figure out the kinks
in in this new world and then i'll come in when things are smoothed over i would have had i think
the same approach to america if you well you know they're
like oh phil wow you know they discovered this new place it's bigger than anything we've ever
known and it's just full of balls of meat that are easy to kill you should come and i'll be like um
i'm gonna wait it out and then jamestown happened which is sort of like their cyberpunk 2077 and i can't see i was
right because there's obviously some things here that need to be fixed some bugs yeah well this is
it so i'm just coming back when they when they released the america slim yeah yeah yeah yeah the bug fix for America I think that's probably the next
stage of
turn America off and on again
yeah
is there a patch
due on America soon?
let's start that
I was just thinking exactly that
can't wait for the
developers to put a fix in for this one.
This newer version of America's got a lot of bugs in it.
Looking out for the update.
Could the devs nerf the power of racism in America, please?
Could we nerf the power of racism in america please could we nerf that you know currently white supremacists are a bit overpowered um it's actually not very balanced game could we nerf them
and maybe buff democracy yeah what's nerf nerf is when you like let's say that you're you've got, like, Call of Duty or whatever.
If a gun is too powerful, they release a patch that nerfs it, so it makes it more like a nerf gun.
Ah.
So it reduces the power, and buffing is increasing.
Right, right, right, right, right.
That's the irony, Phil.
I make these jokes, and I know exactly what the terms mean.
Yes, but yeah, but you're a professional gamer.
That makes sense.
They say you're not a professional gamer
until you either have diabetes or RSI on the wrist.
Speaking of online gaming,
I've been really getting into my chess
Yes
I want to give a shout out to
Podbud Gabriel
Who's been giving me a lot of
Chess tips
And been helping me improve
My technique
So thanks Gabriel
Nice
He's been real great
Been teaching me some of the basics
Show me the ropes
What's the most mind bending
Thing
That he's taught you
The most mind bending
Thing
Uh
Like
The value of damaging your opponent's pawn structure
and also preserving your own pawn structure.
Yeah.
So, for instance, and I'm reticent to be saying this to you, Pierre,
as we're always playing a game.
So, say you think about swapping a
bishop for a bishop it's worth it if if if by doing so your opponent has to like move a pawn
in front of another of his other pawns because you want to avoid double pawns because they get
in each other's way double pawns being when there's one pawn directly in front of another
instead of next to it yeah you don't want you don't want um double double pawns being when there's one pawn directly in front of another instead of next to it.
Yeah, you don't want double pawns is too much pawns.
It's too much pawns.
You're getting addicted to pawns.
You're not going to be able to enjoy real life if you're so obsessed with pawns.
Yeah, I've been spending too much time recently on online pawnns. I've been looking at online porns a lot recently.
Yeah, and that's not a lie.
A lot of online porns.
Look, the main thing that you've got to teach
your kids when they look at porns is that that's not
what real people look like.
If you show them two pawns, you know, a pawn takes a bishop.
That's not how it works.
You know what I've always wondered and would love to know
is the history of the imagery in chess pieces.
Like, only the knight looks anything like what it's supposed to be.
He looks like a horse.
And the queen and the king, I guess you could say those are crowns on top.
Okay, I guess all I'm...
And actually the rook looks like a...
I guess all I'm asking is why does a bishop look like a circumcised penis?
looks like a car i guess all i'm asking is why does a bishop look like a circumcised penis well i mean the the whole game comes from uh like india slash the persian empire right so
it must have been like some other thing and we just went some medieval guy just went oh that's
a bishop i reckon right right right who else would be next to a king? Because they're famous for their combat prowess.
Yeah, very few, although very few, but not none,
not no bishops throughout history known for their combat prowess,
but very few.
Yeah, how cool to be a battle bishop.
A war bishop.
A warbish.
Yes, a warbish. The bishop pieces look like a big pope hat at the top. That looks a bit, a warbish.
I guess the bishop pieces look like a big pope hat at the top.
That looks a bit like a pope hat.
It definitely resembles a kind of mitre of some kind.
Yeah, a little popey bishop hat.
That's right, that's right.
Yeah, it's interesting that...
I looked up where checkmate comes from
okay
it's because chess was originally Australian
yes
it was invented by an Australian
and he had to send it around the world because
every time
he tried to explain how to play chess
to one of his friends when they were out
they got the bill and left.
That's what their friends would say every time he'd go, this new board game I'm working on.
And they'd go, checkmate.
And then they'd just leave.
They'd pay.
And they'd flee.
um but apparently so uh it's a corruption of sheikh mart and sheikh as in the king and mart apparently in in farsi or i don't know persian whatever the language was i can't remember
is dead so sheikh mart it means the king is dead oh sheikh mart and do you think
is there some sort of
um
Indo
what's that
main language
of families
that basically
comes out of
the middle of Eurasia
Indo-Aryan?
hmm
can't say Aryan
anymore Pierre
on podcast
I'm afraid
um
but do you think
that Maat has anything
to do with mort
oh now you're telling me now you're telling me some interesting things let's see shake mart
i like that shake mart so the king's dead check let's see etymology
uh oh yeah okay so an alteration of the Persian phrase shah mat,
which is the king is helpless.
I like that.
That's a lot more dramatic.
The king is helpless.
The king is helpless.
Others maintain that the king is dead
because it came through Arabic and mata means died or dead.
The lonely king is helpless.
The lonely, soulless king is helpless. The lonely
king is helpless and dead.
Sorry, you were saying?
It's all, there's all
sorts of tedious debates.
Sheikh Maat.
Yes, there's a debate as to whether it's the Arabic
version or the Persian version, but it's the same thing.
Right.
In modern Arabic, the word mat or mate depicts a person who has died open-mouthed, staring, or confused or unresponsive.
The word stupefied or stunned bear close correlation.
That's a very specific definition for such a short word.
Yeah.
Mat.
Mat.
Definition for such a short word Yeah
Mat
So a possible alternative would be to interpret
Mate or mat as unable to respond
A king is mate or sheikh mate
When the king is
Unable to respond
Okay that makes sense
It makes sense from every goddamn angle
Yes
Yes
Much like a helpless king
it is
being attacked from many different angles at once
it's um
before about 1600
chess could also be won by capturing all of the
opponent's pieces leaving a bare king
this style of play is now called annihilation
or rubado
I like that rubado
okay rubado rubado annihilation chess
rubado would be a very fun thing to yell as you punch someone who's not looking in the side of
the head rubado as you just sucker punch someone who's not looking at you they're busy doing Roboto!
As you just sucker punch someone who's not looking at you
They're busy doing something else
There are some really great terms in chess
Vienchetto
What?
That sounds delicious sounding
Vienchetto is when you get
It's when you get one of your bishops on the longest diagonal
So the one that goes across the entire half of the board.
Ooh, I had a Vienchetto on Christmas Day.
Yes.
That's the one that comes in three flavors, right?
Yes, yeah.
There's a lot.
There's a, yeah, I've been getting,
I've been going full Queen's Gambit into it.
I think the most disgusting term from chess is a Dutch opening.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I haven't had a Dutch opening like that since the 80s.
I saw a thing on the shelf in tesco today that i've seen before but it it
sort of reminded me i i was freshly disgusted with it it was as if i'd never seen it before
freshly right right right okay as if as if it was the first time you'd seen this. Yeah, I was disgusted anew.
And I would love to have a serious conversation with whoever named this product,
but you can buy, to heat up in your oven and serve as a sort of snack at a party from Tesco,
something called chicken lollipops.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've heard of lamb lollipops, but those are
natural. That's because of the shape of the bone,
right?
Yeah, I think that's a
sort of tender, roundy little bit.
But a chicken lollipop, that's a satay,
isn't it? That's chicken satay.
No, these are like
little breadcrumbed and stuff.
It's like oven food.
But it's on a stick.
Yeah.
Just call it chicken on a stick.
The thing about lollipop makes it sound like you're supposed to cook it and then suck on it and lick it and be flirty with it.
I also don't like it because it implies to me that the chicken is sort of raw or yeah i have to sort of lick it i have to erode the chicken
slowly yeah raw and cold and glassy chicken lollipops i mean it's a disgusting combination
of words it's a really terrible bit of naming.
It's really terrible.
Even just like chicken pops or something would be better.
Chicken pops is a bit better.
Yeah, and you're supposed to get chicken pops when you're young.
And if you don't, you have to get much worse chicken when you're older.
You're in danger of getting much worse chicken when you're older.
Yeah, and that's why people have those chicken pops parties.
But yeah, chicken lollipop is disgusting i was trying to think of other like meat dessert combos uh that that exists no just like i was trying to think can anything be more disgusting than this
lamb trifle. Oh.
Yeah.
Oh, no.
Thank you.
Ham pudding.
Ham pudding sounds like what the Victorians would call like a pig's brain.
Right.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. A hell of ham pudding for breakfast.
You know what is the worst name for a bit of meat
slash offal?
It's sweet bread.
Yeah. It's a double lie, isn't it?
It's not bread.
And it's not sweet.
It's like a gangly
bit of a lamb's throat.
The whole name is a prank.
You like some sweet bread? Sure.
Here's your sweet bread.
Is that a neck?
Horrible.
I thought you were getting some brioche
and then there's a fucking cow's neck
on your plate.
Have you eaten much brain? Have you eaten much brain
have you eaten much brain
have I eaten
have I eaten much brain
have you ever eaten brain
no
I've had
I've had
it's called brawn
I had um
fried lamb
I think lamb brawn
at a restaurant
yeah
how was that
yeah
nah
doesn't really taste
of anything special that's the thing all these things we think are gross in the no it doesn't really taste of anything special that's
the thing all these things we think are gross in the end they don't really taste of anything
i mean if they were really delicious we'd all still eat them and would have been raised not
to find them horrifying no exactly it yeah i mean i don't know if i said on this before but
i ate crocodile and yeah you said it tasted nothing. Tasted nothing.
And he's like, oh, right, yeah.
Do you now... It's like a combination, it's like if
squid married chicken.
That's a nursery rhyme, isn't it?
Yeah, the squid and the chicken.
The squid and the chicken.
The squid and the chicken went to sea in a
diving bell made of ham.
I'm pretty sure that was it.
The squid and the chicken went to sea in a diving bell made of ham.
One asked the other to marry his brother, and the other to marry his ma'am.
There you go.
his mam.
There you go.
In that story,
Chicken Pops was just the chicken's father who the squid had to ask
the chicken's hand
for, from.
Oh, God.
Do you now have, after eating
lamb brawn,
the memories and knowledge of the lamb?
Yeah.
My gambling skills have gone through the roof.
Yeah, you're a gambling addict.
Yes.
Gamble responsibly, everyone.
When the fun stops, stop Jumping around a field in spring
Well that's what they say about you Phil
Is that you're as strong as a lamb
He's as cunning as a lamb.
No, not very much.
He's got that real lamb-like cunning.
Sort of man who you'd want to have your back when it comes to a gambling debt.
So did you say gambling debt?
No, no.
You heard me.
You heard me right.
I was very clear.
I don't think I would eat brain.
Is there another meat where we specifically eat the babies?
Or is it just lamb?
I do know that a lot of pork is actually from pigs that are also very, very young.
It's just that pigs grow and age
differently so we don't think of them as young
but in terms of number of months
they're certainly very young
good good
good fresh yes
yes
young pigs
young little pigs
speaking of I made a
did I mention this last week
that I made Young little pigs. Speaking of, did I mention this last week?
That I made a pork broth.
I can't remember what I said last week.
I don't think you did.
We were definitely discussing the broth you've been making on our WhatsApp group.
Okay.
Well, let's bring our WhatsApp group into the real world. Because I made me a pork
broth from scratch. Just from bones
and some garlic and some salt.
And my word, it's delish.
And you were saying you couldn't
hammer the bones.
I couldn't get into them. But
boiling them for long enough, they just kind of
fell apart
anyway. So it got to
all them little tasty
nooks and crannies.
They got in there.
And you know you've made a
proper stock when it turns into
jelly in the fridge, and now it's just one single
block of jelly. Nice.
Have it on toast.
Ugh!
They say the sweetest part of a pig is the nook Crannies are a delicacy here actually
The local people they boil their crannies for flavour
They should have cranny for breakfast here.
They think it gives them a good start to the day.
Put a couple of crannies in them.
Please, you are the honoured guest.
It is tradition for you to suck the juice out of the cranny.
Oh, no, no, I couldn't.
I really, I couldn't, no. i couldn't i really i couldn't no i couldn't have another i couldn't have another
cranny my nooks are stuffed with crannies and my crannies are stuffed with nooks
how are you gonna uh see in the new year the worst evening of the whole year?
The worst evening in the worst year.
Yeah.
Hmm.
I'm yet to find out.
I have no idea.
The only appropriate...
Is there any parties going on?
Yeah.
The only appropriate tribute would be if everyone,
as the year ended at midnight,
just shat themselves
a brown farewell everyone just stood up saluted and filled their pants
um the dutch opening that's how the dutch start their new year it's called the dutch opening to
the year well that is how the dutch do it but they're blacked up when they do it
Well, that is how the Dutch do it, but they're blacked up when they do it.
Yeah, there have been a few campaigns over recent years to end it,
but most Dutch people just don't see what the big problem is.
Look, Dutch people really love svartpoep.
Oh, actually.
Yeah?
And I'm looking at it now. Is it in Catalonia?
In Spain?
They have the Christmas figurine of someone pooping.
We got...
Oh, it's like a long time ago.
Bud Pod, like in the teens, maybe.
Someone said it should be our mascot.
That's right.
I've got a Batman one.
A Kaganer.
Is that what it's called? Yeah. K's right. I've got a Batman one. A Cagana. Is that what it's called?
Yeah. Caganer.
Spanish
Christmas pooing.
A little poopy man.
A little poopy man who wants independence from Spain.
The strangest Catalan Christmas traditions.
Yeah, it is Catalan.
Why do Catalan Christmas traditions
involve poo?
Put another log on the fire.
It's Catalan Christmas.
Is there an answer?
Why do they involve poo?
I've not found it.
Maybe we should promote the podcast in Catalonia.
Yeah, they're obviously our audience.
Our gente.
Apparently in Catalonia they have another one that's like a log, an actual log.
A shit log.
It's a huge dump.
Yeah, it's a bunch of logs.
They're shit obsessed there in Catalonia.
It would be great if Budpod became so popular in Catalonia. It would be great if Budpod became so popular in Catalonia
that we were asked to become
sort of British supporters
of their independence drive.
We'd start to see our faces
being carried on signs and things.
I was just thinking that. Imagine being
so proud of your Christmas poop tradition
that you demand separation
from the rest of Spain.
They're just lifting our faces up and down,
chanting,
La podcast de mierda.
Yeah.
Libertad para Catalonia.
Escutar el Budpod.
They make figurines of us pooping.
Yeah.
And like this huge papier-mâché floats.
Yes, yes. And it's just us, like these huge figurines of us just smiling, going through these crowds.
Yeah, walking in that kind of
horrible mascot way
Koji
Koji
Koji
Koji
Koji
Koji
keep on yacking it
what would that even be hasn't someone sent us that Keep on yacking it.
What would that even be?
Hasn't someone sent us that Continuar al...
Al... Jacar?
I can't remember.
Should keep a spreadsheet of all the different ways of saying it.
And all the...
I've only just remembered all the different ways that bread sound like farts.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm still very proud of that. ways that bread sound like farts. Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm still very proud of that.
That's a classic.
That's a classic.
Pam.
Brot is the best one.
It's still my favorite.
Brot.
I still really like.
Nah.
Nah.
Man.
oh boy well a very farty new year to you all
listeners
yes hope you have a nice new year farty
yes have a good new year's farty
make sure it's a covid safe farty
what do you think you're going to do
I can't wait to see you end 2020
bye bye 2020
bye bye 2020 don't let the door
hit your ass on the way out
I'm not a big New Year's
fan so I'll probably just
sit around I mean
it's not very good
is it
even in normal mean it's not very good is it no it's even in normal times it's um
it's no good it just yeah it just it's also a lot of stress it's a lot of stress
and it forces you to reflect on the year in an arbitrary 365 day long chunk.
There's so much pressure. There's more pressure to have a good time on New Year's Eve than
on your own fucking birthday.
Multiplied by everyone.
Yeah. It's everyone's
birthday and it's chaos.
Everyone
desperate to have a better time than on their
birthday on the same night
it's like one of those ways
that they make hell sound initially appealing
and then ruin it
in hell every day is your birthday
but so is everyone else's
yeah
as the old saying goes
hell is other birthdays
hell is other birthdays and having to come to terms
with that
you're going to have to spend the month of January
living like a monk to undo what you've
done to yourself
which is my plan I'm going to live like fucking Rasputin what you've done to yourself.
Which is my plan.
I'm going to live like fucking Rasputin.
I'm just going to eat poison cakes and swim in frozen rivers.
Oh, I've just found that
Hell is Other People
is also a Korean psychological thriller
on Netflix.
That sounds good.
That's your evening sorted?
It sure is.
Jean-Paul Sartre, apparently,
said Hell is other people.
Although this says hell is other people, dot, dot, dot, misquoting philosophers. It says one of these, is it?
That's not actually.
Oh.
It's a well actually.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I can't be arsed with a well actually right now.
It's still a good phrase.
It doesn't mean the phrase doesn't make sense.
That's true.
That's true.
Right.
Well, I guess, listeners, we will see you in 2021.
Yeah.
When all this will finally be over.
Yep.
There'll be no more problems at all.
Because this was a 2020 thing.
Bye, 2020. more problems at all. Because this was a 2020 thing. Bye 2020!
It is a shame though, 2020 was amazing for
the New Year's Eve glasses
industry.
Because it had two...
When are we going to have two holes like that again?
Well, 2030.
That was going to be ages away.
When?
Yeah, those guys who sell those glasses
They play a long game
They do
We need to get some scientists onto this
When are we going to have another two zeros
In the year
Yeah I wouldn't have wanted to be responsible
For the party glasses in the year
1111.
What a fucking nightmare.
An 8888 will be spoiled for choice.
Oh my...
Forget about it.
Can you believe...
Yeah.
An 8888, a spider could wear a pair.
Gosh.
I wonder if there will be an 8888.
As in one, you know, recorded by human beings.
Yeah, I mean... Yeah, we've done all right so far,
but I don't know.
But our existence has been
but a blink of the eye
in the grand scheme of time.
That's it.
Like all those things where they go,
if the whole world was a day,
humans would be,
dinosaurs would have died at 11 o'clock
and that whole thing.
Yeah.
Yeah. And. Yeah.
And it's just,
it's another one of those things that initially impresses you.
And then it just condenses everything to the point of meaninglessness.
Yeah.
At the end,
you just go,
Oh,
well then what's the point of anything?
What's the point of anything,
including this fact?
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you knew this fact,
you shouldn't have told me this fact.
Yeah. If you knew this fact, you shouldn't have told me this fact. Yeah.
But it is comforting to think that 2020 was merely a blink within a blink.
Maybe that's what people talk about in those terms.
Yes, everyone have a great New Year's party
and a safe New Year's Eve
and much love and prosperity.
Crappy poo smears.
Crappy poo smear.
How could I forget?
Crappy poo smear.
Crappy poo smear.
Crappy poo smear for everyone
and to all a poo fight.
A pooed fight.
A food... I don't know.
Yes, Cody everyone, bye!
Bye!