Canadian True Crime - Q&A
Episode Date: September 15, 2020Hi everyone! It's been 2.5 years since I did a Q&A, and I know you have questions, so I thought I'd answer them. Enjoy! New podcast recommendationOne Strange ThingThanks for supporting my spo...nsors!See the special offer codes hereAccess the Extended Q&AAlso get ad-free episodes, Chats with Kristi after show, bonus episodes, and more Learn more APPROXIMATE IMESTAMPS:2:00 – How did I get into true crime and why5:00 – Decision to start a podcast13:00 – Things I’ve learned from podcasting14:30 – Best part about podcasting16:45 – Hardest part about podcasting17:30 – Where will CTC be in 5 years?19:20 – Covid-1922:30 – True crime documentaries24:30 – Cases I really want to cover but haven’t had a chance to yetAD BREAK30:00 – Cases I’ll NEVER cover33:00 – Lingering questions from cases I’ve covered36:00 – Most shocking and infuriating cases37:00 – Do I contact families of victims in my episodes?43:30 – Why I moved to Canada49:00 – Strangest thing about Canada53:30 – Favourite part about Canada56:00 – How did I decide what part of Canada to live in?57:00 – Mental health / depression / anxiety update – what’s been helping me?See you soon! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Transcript
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Hi there, I hope you're well.
It's been over two and a half years since I last did a Q&A and lots of questions have
been asked so I thought it might be time to do another one in the lead up to when I come
back with my next episode on October the 1st.
In this Q&A I cover topics like how I got into true crime, a whole bunch of podcasting
questions including the best parts and the hardest parts and my future plans, favourite
true crime documentaries, a whole bunch of questions about cases and a whole lot more.
To see the full list of questions, along with approximate time stamps for each one, give
or take a few minutes, check the show notes.
And just before I get started, if you're looking for an intriguing and unique new podcast
to listen to, my friend Laura from the full line has just released the first episode of
One Strange Thing.
It's amazing.
Here's a quick promo and then we'll get straight into the Q&A.
We all enjoy a little mystery.
And on the new podcast One Strange Thing, that's just what you'll get.
Every other week, One Strange Thing presents forgotten stories from America's news archives.
They all have something in common, a single element that can't quite be explained.
I'm Laura Norton, join me on One Strange Thing and you'll hear about bizarre events
that unfolded in our country's local newspapers, but never made it much further than that.
No matter the place or the people, One Strange Thing brings you stories that are very real
and just a little otherworldly.
Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen.
The first question comes from Anne and she says,
What case or incident started you on your path of loving true crime?
I discovered true crime kind of by accident.
I was 21 and I randomly discovered the website crimelibrary.com.
Lots of people will remember it from the late 90s and the early 2000s when it was in its
heyday, but basically it's a series of long form essays or was a series, should I say,
on various murders.
So most commonly the big name serial killers like Ted Bundy, Jeffrey Dahmer, Dennis Nielsen,
Ted Kemper, etc.
But also it had some super shocking stories there too and it was there that I learnt first
about the three cases that really, really stuck with me.
One was Paul Bernardo and Carla Hamalka obviously.
I just couldn't believe that case.
It was just out of this world that she would do that to her own sister and don't even
get me started on him.
I just couldn't fathom it really and two others that I couldn't really fathom was
the murder of Anita Cobby in Australia and this case was covered expertly by case files.
So go and check that one out if you haven't.
And the other one was the murder of James Bolger in the UK that the little toddler that
was taken off by the two teenagers.
I could never listen to a podcast on that so I can't tell you where you can go to listen
to an episode about that.
It's such a horrendous case especially if you're a parent.
It affected me back when I was in my early 20s and I wasn't even a parent then so there
is no way I can't even fathom what those kids were thinking.
And since then I've kind of been obsessed with learning all about the whys like why
do people do things like this because I can't fathom it.
I guess that's what started my interest in true crime.
Not a particular case but just discovering this website which is no longer online.
Alistair asks, I often wonder what draws you and others to true crime stories.
It is fascinating of course but do you have any other thoughts?
Is it a longing to understand the human condition?
Yes absolutely and this is why I prefer to cover solved cases to unsolved ones.
I like to know the whys, the who's, the backgrounds, the motives, just about all the different kinds
of people in this world and what signs and behavioural traits we might be able to recognise
in people in our lives and also in the lives of our loved ones.
So I just want to know why people do the things they do and sometimes there is no reason but
it does serve us well to know that there are these kinds of people out there and to be
able to recognise the signs and the symptoms of these kinds of people.
So that is why I'm interested in true crime because I want to know what things I should
be looking out for and what things I should tell my children to look out for.
Next question.
David asks, what drew you to become a podcaster?
Well as many of you know I started out as a podcast listener.
A rabid podcast listener after a work friend of mine told me I had to listen to this podcast
serial and I'm like eh whatever and then she literally grabbed my phone and downloaded
the Stitcher podcast app and then I'm like fine if she feels this strongly about it then
I'll just give it a go.
So that afternoon on the train home I listened to my first episode of Serial and then I was
hooked.
But that was in 2015 when there weren't anywhere near as many true crime podcasts as there
are now.
So for the next 18 months or so I just kind of consumed all of the true crime content
that I could find and I joined all the Facebook groups that were discussing true crime podcasts.
There was a lot of marketing and promotion going on, both of listeners recommending
other podcasts, new podcasters recommending their episodes and it was there that I soon
found this amazing community of podcasters and listeners.
After a while I noticed that there were podcasts covering a lot of crimes from Australia and
the US and the UK but very little from Canada.
There was someone know something and that was a long form covering an unsolved case
per season and not always a Canadian case.
And then of course there was my pal from Nighttime who covers weird Canadian stories but only
some of them are actual crime stories.
But nobody I saw was covering exclusively Canadian cases in an anthology style like case by case
and I just started noticing that listeners on Facebook were asking for other podcasts
to start covering Canadian cases.
So I guess that kind of planted a seed in the back of my mind that there was a market
for this.
Now I'm just going to be a little bit honest here.
At the time I was feeling a little bit dissatisfied with my life.
I had just returned back to work after having my second child and I was kind of going through
a transition period I guess where I was trying to figure out who I was as the mother of two
young kids.
It's kind of a little bit hard to explain but those of you who are mothers will know
how I feel.
I felt like I'd kind of been absorbed into the kids and then when I went back to work
I felt really lost like I didn't know who I was anymore like I lost my identity I guess.
And I've always loved to watch TV and when I went back to work I'd been watching a lot
of TV at night obviously once the kids were in bed but after a couple of months of that
I was kind of starting to get a little bit bored and despite commuting to Toronto during
the day for work getting home at 5.30 and then go go go go go till the kids were in
bed.
I felt like I wasn't being productive with the two whole hours that I had to myself each
night but what to do about it.
I was happy in my full time job in marketing and communication so finding another job wasn't
the answer but then an idea kind of started brewing in my head.
I'd been listening to a lot of case file, they walk among us and fell in true crime.
There are all shows that have one narrator, no banter, feeling neutral, no nonsense, retelling
of crime stories with some ambient background music, kind of an immersive experience and
those are the podcasts that I really really liked and I kind of thought to myself what
if I did one of those just like that but for Canadian cases but I'm not really the kind
of person that is impulsive and takes action until I've like really seriously thought it
out so I kind of sat on the idea for like 4 months before I actually decided to do something
about it and when I did I didn't make a decision right I'm going to start a podcast, I'm pretty,
I'm not going to say lazy because I'm kind of a workaholic but I guess when it comes
to executing ideas and that kind of entrepreneurial spirit I've never had that so I kind of decided
that well instead of trying to make a podcast I'm going to just figure out what steps I
need to go through to create an episode and if I ever get there then we'll see what happens
and I seriously doubted that I would actually get there so I just kind of started by deciding
that the first part of the whole process would be writing a script and that I knew I could
do because I have 20 years of experience in marketing and communication so writing is
a big part of my full-time job so I kind of thought to myself let's see if we can do that.
I researched and wrote the Paul and Carla part one script and there's so many things
that I would change about that now if I could go back but all of a sudden I just kind of
felt like this fire inside of me and I got so much satisfaction out of researching and
writing this kind of not so much a deep dive because there's several books that are a deep
dive but just kind of a roundup of the case. I loved the writing and I loved the research
but what I realized most of all was that I loved the challenge of trying to decide how
to structure the story so when I'd finished writing and researching the script I kind of
thought well okay so I've completed that step what would the next step be in making a podcast
and obviously it was to record it and this I had absolutely no idea what I was doing no
experience in broadcasting or audio or anything I basically had to learn everything from the
get-go so my husband had an old laptop lying around here's an IT don't ask there's computer
shit everywhere. We downloaded this free editing software called Audacity and I decided that
the only place that I could record would be my closet because there I could sneak away
from my kids so that was my reason but as it turns out recording in the closet has great
properties for reducing echo like the clothes hanging in the closet really dampen the sound
so it really was fortuitous and worked out very well. At the beginning I kind of got
a cheap microphone it's called a blue snowball it was about $50 and I balanced it on the
laundry basket while I sat with my legs crossed in front of me in the closet and believe me
it was just as uncomfortable as it sounds so I recorded the episode and I didn't tell
anyone except my husband and a few close friends in fact I didn't even know if I would end
up with the actual podcast at the end of it but my goal was to go through the process
of researching writing recording editing and producing a complete podcast episode just
to say that I'd figured it out and I could do it and working in marketing and communications
I think a podcasting skill set especially in kind of this day and age would be a valuable
skill set to have so I thought you know it's a win-win there and so step by step I just
did it. I finished the episode the Bernardo and Hamulka one that fire was lit inside me
and I just wanted to keep doing more so what I really found is that it's not just a passion
for true crime it evolved into a passion for the process of creating a podcast episode
so I'm really happy to have found that. Zoe asks what has been one or some of your
favorite things you've learned while creating and growing your own podcast? So I'd have
to say I didn't expect to find a community. I did everything myself when I was creating
the first episodes and I didn't reach out to anyone for advice or help and I'm not
at all saying that's a bad thing but it's just the way I work. I'm independent and
I like to figure things out for myself but after I released the first episode I kind
of felt welcomed into a community of other new true crime podcasters and then we all
just kind of promoted each other's shows and I have to say that this is vital when it
comes to independent podcasts like mine who don't have the backing of a network or a
host to either bring celebrity or an established audience so for those of us that start off
with absolutely nothing being in a community with others who are in the same boat is essential
and us independents do not view each other as competition at all. I always use the phrase
a rising tide lifts all boats which basically means that as the podcast space continues
to grow and more and more listeners discover podcasts we can all help each other out with
exposure because it's kind of naive to think that someone will only want to listen to your
podcast at all times and even if they did I could not produce enough episodes to keep
them listening to my podcast so why not promote other podcasts and we all promote each other.
Caitlyn asks what is the best part of being a podcaster? Well at the start I really enjoyed
the process of creating each episode but over time like I said that's kind of developed
into a real interest in the podcasting industry as a whole so even though the tasks required
to be a podcaster aren't all strawberries and rainbows I do feel that this is where my passion
lies and it's kind of something that I've never thought that I'd have. I mean don't get me wrong
I've had some amazing jobs and I've worked for some amazing companies over the years
including the one that I just left but I can't say that any of my daily tasks kind of fulfilled
a burning passion if you know what I mean and the thing that I like right now about podcasting
is that for the first time in my life I'm the boss and I don't mean being the boss of actual
people I just mean being the boss of how I spend my day and how I spend my time
and how I prioritize the work that I have to do so I don't have to do anything unless it's vital
to the podcast. Caitlyn also asks what's the hardest part of being a podcaster more specifically
type of podcast you do? Well in general dealing with the criticism can be tough regardless of
whether it's justified or just at an advanced level of nitpickiness or personal opinion or just plain
mean. People often say that you develop a thick skin and that it gets easier but I haven't really
found that. What I have found is that the less I check my reviews the less upset I get about reading
the bad ones and another thing is I've had to accept that not everyone will like me or my voice
or my style and not everyone will like my podcast. I have actually made concerted efforts in the past
to join please everyone but I finally realized that it's literally not possible so there is
some kind of peace in accepting that no matter what I do there will always be people that don't
like it or don't like me. So I just accept that as a fact and then I move on and honestly
and honestly this has been really helpful not only in podcasting but also in the real world
as well and the rest of the question is about the hardest part of podcasting specifically about
being in the true crime genre. Now I'm not going to say that it's difficult covering the subject
matter I've been into crime stories for a long time and I'm kind of desensitized now and it also
sounds kind of silly to say that it's hard to cover these cases when people had to live through
them so I would say that the area of podcasting that is the hardest is just dealing with with the
criticism I guess even even if it's warranted it's still hard to hear. Nancy says where do you see
yourself and the podcast in say five years what is the big plan or the things that you can let us
in on anyway. So with my podcast in five years that is so so hard as you know I quit my day job
earlier this year right when COVID-19 quarantine started here in Canada great timing but before
that I spoke to a couple of my other friends in true crime podcasting who had been able to quit
their jobs and I asked them what their plans were for the future because it's really hard to
leave a stable job with benefits and a pension plan for what is basically the unknown. When it
comes to whether Canadian true crime will still be here the way it is now in five years who knows
I would love to say yes but it's really really hard to know what's going to happen I do know
that I will likely still be in the podcasting industry because I have such a passion for this
industry and I keep a list of ideas for new projects and things that I want to do in podcasting
outside of Canadian true crime but I need the time and the space and obviously the mental clarity
to be able to explore these kinds of ideas and right now in the middle of a pandemic while my
kids are at home that is not happening but fingers crossed for next year or maybe the year after oh god
so David asks how are you and your family going with COVID yes that is a very timely question
we are a family of introvert homebodies so being at home isn't something that really
affects us in a negative way so that part of things has been okay and the kids have actually
been pretty happy during COVID-19 bored yes and online school was a bit of a disaster but they
are happy or I should say they're happier than they were when they were going to school before
but I think the reason for that is that our life before this was crazy you know I said before the
kids and I were out of the house by 7am and I didn't get home from work until 5 30 and then it was
just crazy time until the kids went to bed so they have been much much happier since that rigid
routine was taken away but me and my husband not so much as you know we're here in Canada my husband
is Australian too and all of our family is in Australia and New Zealand and obviously we knew
that we wouldn't have access to any kind of support when we chose to move to Canada and contribute
to the population now I knew that we would both be working and would rely on paid child care when
the kids were young and before and after school care when they're the age that they need to be
to go to school that was going to be our village of paid professionals but it's a different proposition
to have your kids with you 24 seven for an extended period of time it's something that nobody could
ever have planned for and it's been hard with no help and no support so it's now been five almost
six months with more to come and we're not in a bubble with other people that's kind of sad
but what makes it even sadder is that this year was our trip home to Australia which we try to do
every two to three years and in fact we were supposed to be there in August but obviously
that was cancelled and the last time we were able to get home was in 2017 so three years ago
and I don't even know if we'll be able to reschedule for next year so that's really really hard
so I guess what I'm trying to say is when your village consists of paid professionals
and the entire thing was whipped out from under you and you'll find yourself trying to be a full
time parent and a full-time worker while also dealing with a global pandemic and an uncertain
short-term and long-term future and a number of social justice uprisings and political issues that
keep you constantly worrying and assessing your situation and your future when all of that is
happening it's kind of hard to focus on the day today so that was a bit of a long conversation
about how we're going with COVID the short answer is that we are surviving but I would not say that
we're over the moon about this situation but who is nobody is we're all in the same boat here
Lyman asks okay hopefully you haven't been asked this before or at least not recently
would you list a few of your favorite true crime documentaries in the visual form so TV,
movie, streaming series definitely haven't been asked this question recently so these days I don't
consume a lot of true crime documentaries I just find that when it's time to watch TV so rare these
days I really just need escapism so I actually switched to crime shows with fictional story
lines and characters and I love the British ones Broadchurch and Scott and Bailey I also
love The Sinner with Bill Pullman and also Unbelievable with Tony Collette and Merritt Weaver
when it comes to true crime documentaries there is one YouTube channel where I never ever miss
a single video that they upload and it's called JCS criminal psychology or it used to be called
Jim Can't Swim or JCS I don't know it's hard but they don't just tell a crime story it's what I
believe to be a small group of psychologists and they put together like an analysis of the case
including interrogation videos and pointing out techniques and nuances and responses and what
kind of psychology factors might be at play and that kind of thing so they analyze the interrogation
videos of Russell Williams and Michael Rafferty who murdered Tory Stafford along with Terry Lynn
McClintic and lots lots lots more you'll find them under Jim Can't Swim or JCS criminal psychology
on YouTube it's really really really good stuff and that's really it I think the last true crime
documentary I watched was abducted in plain sight which was quite a while ago I haven't even watched
Tiger King I don't even know who this Carol Baskin woman is and quite frankly I'm not sure
that I want to so Zoe asks what are some major cases that have been on your list for a long time
but you haven't had the chance to cover them yet for whatever reason especially crimes that you
know would be a multi-parter Zoe I fell seen so I wanted to tell you a bit about my process
before I answer this so listeners submit cases via my form at canadiantruecrime.ca
slash submit and from there I make a short list of different cases with different motives from
different timelines and from different areas of Canada and I use researchers for most of the
cases that I do now so that I can focus on the things that I really enjoy like the story structure
and the kind of fine writing and I never assign a case to a particular researcher I go through my
cases I see what I have and then I give them five or so to choose from and I think it's easier to
research a case that really peaks your interest rather than one that you were assigned and might
not be as interested in so a lot of what ends up being episodes is what the researchers have chosen
from the short list that I give them that said there are a few exceptions I do want to cover
Bruce MacArthur the Toronto serial killer one day but I just haven't been ready yet and I know that
it's going to be intense it's going to be complex and it is definitely going to be a multi-parter
and I just haven't had the mental fortitude to cover it yet and also I just found out that
the journalist Justin Ling is about to release a book on the case now if you don't know Justin
covered this case as the host of Uncover two cbc podcasts uncover in the series called The Village
and his book is called Missing from the Village the story of serial killer Bruce MacArthur the
search for justice and the system that failed Toronto's queer community it's being published
by Penguin Random House Canada so definitely look out for that book but yeah with that book coming
out I think I'll use it as an excuse to wait even longer to cover Bruce MacArthur I don't want to
step on anybody's toes with that case so you might also be asking why did I cover cases like Richard
Oland and Ezekiel Stefan both three parters this year well the simple truth is that I didn't know
that they would be so involved and so confusing until I dug in so far that there was no turning
back so sadly I've never been able to catch up on my work to a point where I don't get into these
situations it's sad but it's true I've just had to prioritize flying by the seat of my pants to
trying it takes a long time to figure out exactly what the intricacies of the case are until you
really spend some time diving into the details but at least with the Bruce MacArthur case I know
what I'm up against so yeah I can be prepared there are also a lot of Toronto cases that I have on
my list because I followed closely because I live in the area but I have to kind of put them all back
because I can't cover Toronto cases so closely together so some examples of those are the crossbow
killer the webcam murder and the Mississauga bathtub murders sorry about all the ridiculous names but
these are what these cases are known as hopefully I'll do them one day but I'll have to space them
out sorry guys I need to take a quick break to keep the lights on after the break I'll be telling
you more about cases I'll never cover cases that have shocked and infuriated me contacting the
families of the cases that I cover the best and worst parts of Canada and a mental health update
back in just a second thanks for your patience do you have a passion project that you're ready
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Elliot is asking what is one case you will never ever do no matter how many times people ask
so I have a form on my website for people to submit case suggestions at canadiantruecrime.ca
and I used to have a list of cases there that I won't ever cover now at the time I felt that
certain cases had been covered extremely well by other podcasts and I likely couldn't add anything
to that so I put a list of these on this page as cases that I will never cover one of these cases
is kimberley proctor from BC because at the time dark poutine covered this but now it's been at
least two years since that episode so I think I will end up covering this one although again no
one has started researching it yet another case like this is the Richardson family murders I
actually was going to cover this case early on but then I heard court junkies excellent coverage
and decided to leave that case be but I might change my mind on this one later on another case
is the monster of mirror machine Ellen Leger my pal Jordan the eclectic and well eccentric host
of night time covered this in a multi-part series but that was at least three years ago now and his
style is a bit different to me so I might add this one to my list later on who knows sorry Jordan
if you're listening originally I also said that I wouldn't cover Russell Williams because I'd
followed the case in the news at the time and as a massive case it had already been covered
by many other podcasts but then I realized that sometimes my niche is shining a light on the
victims of well-known killers so I became interested in their stories so that's why I changed my mind
on that one now there are two cases that are still on my will never cover list and I doubt very much
that I will change my mind on this the first one is Luca Magnotta which will surprise nobody who
has been listening to this show for a while I feel like everyone's heard my reason before but we
know that his motivation for that heinous crime that he committed was to get famous he had tried
on several reality shows before and he'd failed and so he tried to become infamous instead I really
really feel for the man that he murdered John Lynn but I just don't really like the thought of doing
something that might please Luca Magnotta if he ever found out about it now the other case is the
murder of Timothy McLean by Vincent Lee the Greyhound bus beheading case this case is shocking it's
so so heinous and because of that it's being covered by a lot of podcasts and I felt like there
was really nothing that I could contribute and arguably the definitive coverage of this case
was very recently on the crime beat podcast and Nancy Hicks included it as the third part of a
series on the Brentwood 5 massacre which is the Calgary massacre that I also covered now Nancy
Hicks obviously incorporated the story of the murder of Timothy McLean on the Greyhound bus
because both Vince Lee and Matthew DeGrood from the Calgary murders were both found not criminally
responsible so it's an excellent series if you haven't heard it yet Nancy is an investigative
journalist who covered the case when it happened so she's able to tell you the story in a much
more personal way than someone like me who goes mostly by court documents and trial reporting
and she tells the story with interviews with the family members so that's crime beat check it out
if you haven't already it's really good Elliot also asks what are some of your lingering questions
from cases that you've covered Allora Wells from the last case that I covered in Toronto the
transgender homeless woman whose body was found how did she die it just sucks that they weren't
able to figure that out through autopsy and I do believe that it is highly likely that she fell
off the bridge but why was her body moved there's just a couple of lingering questions there about
that case but I don't believe that there was foul play involved although that's just an opinion
the next case with lingering questions Ezekiel Stefan I mean I would love to know the truth
in their motives and do they secretly feel guilty but they are continuing to fight publicly because
that is what they have to do to keep themselves from going to jail I wonder again just my opinion
Richard Oland that's the case from New Brunswick you know the moosehead brewery case with Dennis
Oland the son why was there no blood spatter on Dennis's clothes other than those five tiny spots
of DNA like if Dennis had been responsible for the murder surely he would have had more blood on him
and if he was wearing something like a hazmat suit where did he put it he wasn't captured
carrying anything like that out and in fact he had no blood on his bag or his car or anything
his shoes it's a puzzling case and why did whoever murdered Richard take off with his phone
like what was on that phone if only those printing press guys had paid better attention to the time
we might have known for sure whether it was Dennis Oland or not and lastly I'm gonna say
Dylan Millard I would love to see some kind of psychological report on him I wonder if he has
been diagnosed with any personality disorders or negative cluster B or A personality traits like
narcissistic personality disorder that type of thing I find him to be a very interesting
and also terrifying personality so kind of similar in a way to Russell Williams you know
how are these people able to keep up a certain public face and then be so cold and calculating
and lacking in empathy behind it all it's just really fascinating to me
David asks I wonder what have been the cases that have shocked you the most thus far and why
so I'm just going to say one case and that is Jane Hirschman that was the two-part domestic
violence case and just so desperately sad and one of my researchers Hayley who researched that case
had to take several breaks as she was researching just because the details were too horrific to
even comprehend and many of them were really humiliating to the victim which I try and avoid if
I possibly can so the details that I chose to include in that story what I knew the tip of the
iceberg in that case it's all in the book on the case but that was very shocking that one
so Dala also asks which story made you the angriest and I have to say Alora Wells the
last one that I covered she was failed on so many different levels and again I was working with her
sister so hearing about things from the family side always kind of makes things that much more real
so Helen wants to know if or how I engage victims or families in my research she says do you always
contact them to let them know you're doing an episode and have you ever received a negative
response so this is a very good question and my answer has changed over the years so when I started
out in the closet I didn't contact families because basically I had incredible imposter syndrome
which is basically I thought what is someone who has no experience in podcasting and no
qualifications applicable to anything in the crime field doing approaching families who've
suffered such loss I felt like I had no place contacting them but then I chose a case at around
episode 10 and it was a domestic homicide case and I did all the research for it and I saw that the
media had focused more on the perpetrator rather than the victim and I didn't know much about the
victim and I saw her brother in the media raising awareness about domestic violence
so I thought if there's any time or any reason to reach out to the family members of a victim
this is it because I want to know more about her and I can see that the family is interested in
raising awareness for domestic violence and domestic homicide so the way that us amateur
true crime podcasters can try and track down family members of victims because we aren't
private investigators is through good old google and social media so I found the brother on facebook
and I sent him a message I told him that I was sorry for his sister's loss and I was going to
cover her murder for the podcast and I wanted to know if he'd be interested in telling me
a little bit more about her but unfortunately things had changed in the two years since I read
quotes from him in the media and when I contacted him now I won't go into details for his privacy
reasons because I did not end up covering this case but needless to say he told me that he didn't
want to participate and would prefer that I didn't cover the story at all and he said in a really
nice way that my contact had actually dredged everything up all over again for him so obviously
I felt terrible like already I felt like what am I doing contacting these people and finally I found
what I thought was a good reason and someone that had been in the media talking about it
it just did not work out so I kind of decided never to put someone in that position again
and my reasoning was that I'm not raising awareness for an unsolved case or a missing person
and I already know all the facts by the time I cover a case it's generally been through the court
system and I have the court documents I have trial reporting long-form journalism documentary
basically I already have the facts that I need to tell the story and at this point I had started
to get quite a following for the podcast things had started to snowball so I just kind of resolved
to keep the families of the victims in mind with everything I did and try to honor the victims that
I covered as much as I possibly could in the meantime I did hear back from people who were
either directly involved in cases or close to cases like for example Rodney Stafford Victoria
Stafford's father and luckily it was all good feedback so just looking at the cases that I've
covered the first case where I worked with a family was episode 38 that was Daniel Levec
who was the 20 year old musician from Victoria BC who was murdered by his so-called friend who was
in effect scamming him but I didn't actually contact the family myself they contacted me to
see if we could work together so that I guess was the reason why I started working with that family
and that gave me a lot of confidence so Jordan from night time and I as you remember we collaborated
on that together and it was through this that I realized that I can actually offer family something
I can help them to tell the story that they wanted to tell and I can include details about their loved
one that might not have made it to mainstream media so that in effect gave me a little confidence
and kind of helped my imposter syndrome a little bit although I definitely haven't
gone into a phase where I'm contacting everybody there is nuance to it so now I would say that I
do contact families if I can find their contact details online but there is some nuance to consider
when I'm making the decision so some considerations are has anyone been in the media talking about
the case so a family member a spokesperson they might be a good person to track down especially
if they've been trying to raise awareness for a certain issue often families will decline to speak
to the media and obviously in that case I would not contact them also if it's an older case and
there hasn't been any media reporting on it for quite a few years then I will not contact the family
because enough time has passed and I don't want to bother them there are other considerations
but overall the answer is yes I do contact the families of the victims that I cover if I feel
it's appropriate and I can find someone to contact the next question is from Dana or Dana sorry not
sure how it's pronounced what made you decide to move to Canada from Australia and did you find
that there was an adjustment period when you moved here so moving to Canada was my husband's idea it
had never been on my radar until I met my husband and it's always been a dream of his since he
discovered the NHL when he was a teenager so he quickly decided that the Australian sports of you
know football and swimming and whatever weren't for him and he wanted to one day move to Canada
because he's really into ice hockey so I met him at work and we were like the gym and pam of the
office and he told me that he wanted to move to Canada within five years so we got together like
eight or nine months after we started working together and I guess because I already knew that
he wanted to move to Canada I kind of adopted it as my plan too I don't ever remember sitting down
and thinking okay should I move to Canada or not I just kind of decided that I would go with him
so we got married in 2009 and then three months later we arrived in Toronto with nothing but two
suitcases one box and bright-eyed ambition so that's where we get to the adjustment period and yes
absolutely there was so it's funny I never stopped to think about what it would be like once we got
to Toronto because before then everything was so focused on packing up our lives in Brisbane
Australia and getting to Toronto so we never actually thought about what would happen like once
we got there other than like we need to look for a job and a place to live so it was a big culture
shock despite the fact that both countries are fairly similar on the surface everything works
so differently from like setting up bank accounts to buying a car or a house renting is different
renting a house getting a health care card visiting a doctor everything is different
and in the middle of that we were trying to look for jobs too so it wasn't because of financial
reasons like we came over with savings we'd been saving for about two years before we came
just so that we wouldn't completely stress out once we got there we could take our time
but this was 2009 so it was in the middle of the global financial crisis and we didn't realise
until we got to Toronto but the job market was pretty tough especially for people like me who
work in intermediate level marketing positions luckily my husband is in IT and was able to find
a job within two months but I had a lot of issues with recruiters and honestly it was awful they
would look at me with pity in their eyes and they told me that even though I had 10 years of
progressive work experience in that field in Australia and I was qualified I didn't have any
Canadian experience so they didn't trust me and my best bet would be to start from entry level
again or offer to work for free to prove my abilities and it wasn't just me that they were
saying this to I was on the networking trail with a bunch of other immigrants and most of them
were people of colour and they were all being told the same thing too and what I realised was that
it was kind of a catchall for Canadian recruiters who were just sick of immigrants coming over and
trying to get jobs and they would just use this you don't have Canadian experience thing as an
excuse so anyway months went by where I was at home during the day by myself with no purpose
other than looking for a job and getting constant rejections that I could not understand from these
recruiters so needless to say it took a major toll on my mental health and I was having like
a lot of anxiety attacks so as I was approaching the four month mark after we moved to Canada
I started thinking like I can't deal with this much longer this Canadian experience thing is
absolute bullshit and the job hunt and the continuous rejections and demeaning comments had
really kind of chipped away at my professional self-esteem and I knew that I had value in Australia
I mean I just come from working at one of Brisbane's largest universities so I told my husband
that if things were still like this in two months so after for full six months in Canada
I was ready to move back to Australia like I don't have to put up with this shit but then I found
two super nice recruiters who gave me a big confidence boost and they saw past the whole
Canadian experience thing and one of them ended up getting me my first job in Canada which I ended
up staying in for 10 years with that company that was the company that I just resigned from earlier
this year and I have to tell you there is no difference between working in an Australian
office and working in a Canadian office and the thing that I love the most about my company is
that they did employ a lot of new immigrants to Canada who hadn't gotten a job here yet
and I have to tell you I worked with so many people of colour from different cultures and
people assimilate just fine there is nothing about Canadian culture that's so prestigious that
recruiters should be using that as an excuse like I said that was 10 years ago I sure as hell hope
that they're not doing that anymore but I wouldn't be surprised if they still are it's sad so all this
to say yes it was an adjustment and I'm so so so glad to be here and my husband and I are so happy
to be Canadian citizens we got Canadian kids a Canadian dog we've kind of made a success out of
this move but I'm not sure I could go through all of that again I have no plans to move country
again it's just so hard so unless something unforeseen happens we plan on staying here forever
Caitlyn asks what is the strangest thing about Canada that you still can't get over all this time
later I mean there's a few things the first one is milk bags I used to think that milk bags were
a Canadian thing but I found out that Ontario the province that I live in is one of the main
provinces or territories in Canada that uses milk bags and for those of you that don't understand
what I'm talking about we buy milk in bags here so you buy a big plastic bag and inside it are
three smaller bags that are full of milk so each of the smaller bags is about a litre I think so
you have to open the big bag and then you have to pull out one of the little bags and then you
know it kind of slips and slides all over the place and then like jimmy it into a jug a plastic
jug and then like cut the end and then you kind of pour it out so there's a plastic bag of milk
sitting in a plastic jug and then you pour it and hope that the milk doesn't go everywhere and I know
that they have two litre cartons of milk here in Ontario but they're pretty expensive and
so we just keep buying these milk bags and I still hate them 11 years later I'm like why the hell is
milk being sold in plastic bags it's the weirdest thing and I would love to know the story behind
it so if anyone knows feel free to reach out the second thing that is strange about Canada
that I can't get over is why do Canadians always have to put the maple leaf on everything
even on brands that originate from other countries like McDonald's Canada has to put a tiny maple
leaf in the middle of the giant M it's like we get it we're in Canada at McDonald's I just it's
not like Australia puts like a little kangaroo in the M of the McDonald's or like New Zealand puts
a kiwi I don't understand I think it's the only country that has some kind of addition to the logo
and yeah you come here and all you see is just maple leaves everywhere like walls have maple
leaves like so many businesses have incorporated a maple leaf into their logo including me so
yeah I don't really have any excuse about that but I've I've found businesses that really have
nothing to do with Canada incorporating the maple leaf into their logo like a fencing company you
know it's it's just so strange and the last thing is the national Canadian drink which is called the
Caesar and like people who are not from Canada are just going to be like what the hell is this
thing so it's basically it looks like tomato juice but it's clamato juice which I believe is like a
cross between tomato juice and clam juice so it's like a fishy tomato drink and then you drink it with
like celery sticking out and spicy salt on the rim of the glass and then they put like
some kind of alcohol in it I mean yeah no I just don't get it I think it's like the equivalent of
Vegemite to Canadians is what a Caesar would be like to me. Caitlyn also asks what's your favorite
part about Canada well obviously it's Tim Horns I'm just kidding look I know it's a Canadian
institution and the place is serviceable the dark roast is acceptable at least when you're in desperate
need of a morning coffee and the donuts are good and cheap I had one at the bottom of my work building
in Toronto and I swear I was down there every single day and if we're talking about my favorite
part of Canadian culture it's kind of weird because it's now been 11 years since we moved here and I'm
finding that my knowledge of Australian culture is becoming outdated now if we're talking about
kind of a comparison but one thing that is my favorite thing about Canada when compared to
Australia is the way that the changing of the seasons here in Canada impacts our culture and the
look of things the decor and the things that we do so as a comparison between Brisbane Australia
where I'm from and here in the Greater Toronto area of Canada where we live there was a massive
difference I don't ever remember much change between the seasons in Brisbane other than it was
hot in summer and cold in winter but here like when it's spring everyone's planting new flowers in
their gardens all the trees are blossoming it's nice and warm and then it's summer which is my
least favorite season but we're getting out and about and enjoying the weather and the greenery
because we know that it's not going to last and we're enjoying not having to shovel our driveways
when it snows and then it comes fall or autumn and the leaves on the trees start changing to the
most beautiful shades of red and orange and that's when culturally we all get our pumpkins out
we go to pumpkin farms and then we can start wearing boots and cardigans and trench coats and
then all of a sudden it's Halloween and Halloween wasn't a big deal when we left Australia in fact
I think I got one fake trick or treat but that's it but I think things are starting to change because
Australia has always followed American culture so from what I see on Facebook from my old friends
it seems like kids are going trick or treating and getting dressed up now so here in Canada that's a
big thing unfortunately I don't think we'll be trick or treating this year I don't know what's
going to happen with that but after that there's winter and here in Canada that inspires both dread
and wonder so the dread is obviously the shoveling of the driveway and the snow storms which happen
when you have to go somewhere and then there's the old yucky snow by the side of the road that
ends up all black with cigarette butts and garbage which I like to call the dark side of snow but
the amazing part is when the snow has just come down and I'm watching my dog Bruce rolling around
in the fresh soft snow and I'm seeing the kids throwing the snow at each other it's just four
completely separate seasons with different activities and it's really great and we've loved going
hiking since COVID-19 happened and quite honestly we can go to the same trail four times a year in
the middle of each season and the trail will look completely different every single time so to me that
is pretty amazing. Athena asks how did you decide which part of Canada to live in so it was either
Vancouver or Toronto and the year before that we actually moved here so 2008 we traveled over here
to kind of check the place out because my husband had never been to Canada so he wanted to move to
a place that he had never been to just based on a feeling so we decided to go there and check it out
and we turned it into kind of a holiday Australians love to do these holidays where they take off for
like six weeks and they do like America and Canada and Europe and you get all this time off work it's
what we have to do because Australia is an island and to go anywhere you're looking at at least two
days of travel and transit time so you really got to make the most of it so we decided that
while the scenery in Vancouver was far superior to Toronto sorry Toronto we decided that we would
rather deal with the snow in Toronto than the rain in Vancouver and we live on the west of Toronto
which is about 45 minutes to drive into the city and it's only about an hour to Niagara Falls the
other way so it's very very convenient Julie how's your mental health I received quite a few
comments after my last intro thank you all so much I mentioned my mental health struggles right now
and I wanted to spread the message that if you're feeling the same you're not alone and I wanted to
encourage everyone to consider getting help and taking care of ourselves a bit better so many
of you reached out to me and said that the intro resonated with you and I'm so glad to hear that
so to update as I said in the last intro I've been seeing a therapist and I've now had a
few one-hour sessions with my online therapist and she's confirmed that many people are feeling
the same way right now I am telling you guys this mental health situation is going to be big
and it's not going away anytime soon so I guess what I realized was that in order to move forward
and to be highly productive again because I was feeling very bogged down I needed to accept that
this is the way that life is now and try and make the best of it now I've never had therapy before
in my life I've always just kind of relied on medication to help and it always has but sometimes
it's not just a chemical imbalance that needs to be corrected it's an actual pandemic this is
a pandemic and if you're not feeling anxious or a bit depressed then you're one of the lucky ones I
guess but my counselor has been super helpful and one of the ways that she has helped has been with
motivation so I've been really stressed about what's going on in the world not just with COVID but
with everything else and it's been hard to kind of harness my thoughts and to focus and to concentrate
my brain was basically all over the place so she gave me a couple of strategies to help with
motivation that I thought might be helpful for those of you who might be feeling the same
so she told me that it's a myth that you just need to wait for motivation to hit you you actually
have to activate it so what she said to me was you just have to like acknowledge that yep I'm
feeling unmotivated and flat but I'm going to write a list of things that I have to do today and even
though I'm not feeling it I'm just going to do it and then set aside one to three hours to focus
and then she told me to set up your work environment like set yourself up for success in every way
possible so get a tea or a coffee make sure there's water I am recording out of the basement
still but I'm doing the writing and researching part in my bedroom which is usually dark because
I'm pretty lazy with making beds or opening the blinds so now I'm making sure that those blinds
are open and I've always got headphones on obviously so my counselor said instead of trying to find
the right playlist to listen to try out white noise yeah like you put on for your baby so it
could be like the sound of a fan or rain on the rooftops and they have all kinds of white noise
tracks on Spotify or YouTube just look up white noise right now what is really helping me to focus
is listening to the sounds of nature so like creeks rivers and forests it really helps me focus
and just kind of get into the moment of a task and then the next thing is to log out of all my
social medias so there's no distractions and make sure that the current tab I'm working on is full
screen so I'm not tempted by the 40 or 50 other tabs that I inevitably always have open in fact it
could be more than that don't judge and of course silence my phone mine isn't even in the room with
me don't check your emails and if you work outside of the home office situation I'm sorry I can't
give you specific examples there because I just don't know but it's the same sort of thing you
have to consciously set up your work environment for success so yeah the advice I'm giving you is
basically just the Nike slogan just do it it's not groundbreaking and it just sounds like common
sense I know but honestly I've been needing to do something anything that might have a positive
effect on my mental health and get me working again and being productive and I thought there's no harm
here I'm open to anything so if you've been lacking in motivation may as well give this a go the steps
are write a list of your tasks and set aside a few hours to focus and set up your work environment
lighting water snacks white noise whatever you need log out of socials full screen your tab
get rid of your phone for a while just can't hurt to give it a try
Sarah asks I'm just wondering if you found a way to lower your anxiety so the depression
and the lack of motivation is one thing but the anxiety is another and at the moment it's always
there because I'm finding every week sometimes every day there is something new some new development
that keeps me up at night from the pandemic to all the protests to right now it's all about back
to school issues so what I do find gives me a temporary boost to my mood is being out in nature
and this is quite a thing for me to say because I've always been an indoor girl I don't like being
in the sun much I burn very easily and I've never tanned and extended exposure to direct sunlight
really gives me a headache so traditionally I have not been drawn to outside activities unless
it was something that I had to do for the kids so what me and my family have been doing is going on
weekly hikes to these conservation areas here in Holton where we live and we've been hiking through
forests and around lakes and up to lookouts and it's been amazing to just get out of all the bullshit
and appreciate all that nature has to offer you know calming creeks gorgeous waterfalls and then
being in a forest the trees provide the right amount of shade while also letting some sunlight in
which gives me that boost of vitamin d which also helps mental health I've also been doing yoga
which is not only great for physical health but it also kind of incorporates meditation and
visualization at the end so that really helps to get you in a good mindset but a big issue for me
and I'm sure for many of you is lack of sleep whether it be like me where it's taking hours
to get to sleep or those of you who wake up and can't get back to sleep this is a huge issue right
now with everything we have going on and all of the things that are on our minds so I did find
this is so stupid I cut off caffeine from about 5 p.m and that made a big difference so no more
after dinner coffee or strong tea it's just herbal teas at night and that's really kind of helped
well that's about it guys if you're a patron or a subscriber there's an extended version of this
Q&A where I answer every single one of your questions for those interested you can visit
canadiantruecrime.ca slash support to see the options so as promised I'll be back on October
the 1st with the first episode of the next season and it's a doozy thank you all so much for your
support and your patience I'll see you in a few weeks