Castle Super Beast - CSB 002: RANDY NO (Allegedly)
Episode Date: January 15, 2019Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Don't spill your seed on the groud unless it's gonna sprout into a beautiful okami flower. If you unequip auto-breath, you'll have room for be...tter chips. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: JOJO Part 5 OST vol.1 - il vento d'oro Player uncovers Fallout 76 developer room with tons of goodies and an actual NPC Resident Evil 2 demo reveals the new look of Hunk and Tofu Bowsette originator receives trophy from Pixiv and NicoNico Wild lawsuit against Gearbox CEO Randy Pitchford alleges wrongful $12M bonus and 'underage' pornography Atlus/Sega talk about possibilities of further PC releases Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice will be 'on the higher end of spectrum of freedom' compared to previous From efforts Dx2 Shin Megami Tensei: Liberation x Bayonetta collaboration announced Mech action game War Tech Fighters coming to PS4, Xbox One, and Switch in Q2 2019 JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure: Last Survivor first location test Devil May Cry 5 is 15 to 16 hours long
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Yo, yo, yo, hello.
Hey man, what up?
Not much, not much.
You know what? You know what's the best?
What's the best?
The one day of my life now that I actually have to be up at a certain time and get a decent amount of sleep.
Yeah.
Can't sleep.
Can't sleep.
Set like a baby every night this week.
What?
Except for last night.
Because?
Where, because fuck it.
Yeah.
When I was three, I fell asleep at seven.
Yeah.
Four hours just staring at my ceiling and being like, I should be asleep right now.
Fair.
Um, it's a bunch of bull shit.
I mean, that happens, but usually I'm like, and I can't feel that bad when I'm sitting there and it's 2.30,
and I'm like listening to a podcast and I'm playing on my switch and I'm like, okay, but you're being an asshole.
Oh, you know what I mean?
So you can't, like that's, I'm like, I can't even fucking complain.
Oh, that's, you did that.
Yeah.
That's you that did that.
Being an asshole.
You know, but I wasn't doing that.
I was just like, oh, so good.
Cause the worst, I think the worst part about not being able to fall asleep for me anyway is that it always starts the same way.
There's like, oh, I'm pretty tired.
I, I, I'm going to go to bed and it's going to be so sweet.
And I get in a bed and it's like, oh man, it's so comfy.
Oh man.
Oh, this is great.
Oh, I got into my perfect position.
Oh, everything is perfect.
This is great.
And then,
Hmm.
Well, okay.
It's getting a little warm.
I guess I'll just move over to the, I'll just turn over.
And then shit.
This hits me like, oh, I should be asleep by now.
Have you, have you attempted sleep aids of any kind?
Uh, if it's desperate, I'll actually take like, uh, I've tried.
Melatonin.
Melatonin.
Melatonin.
That's it.
Yeah.
Doesn't do shit for me.
That's, uh, that's unfortunate, man.
Cause that shit is really helpful, but like you, if it doesn't work on you, then like,
you have to only go heavy and hard.
Yeah.
So the, the in between on that is actually Benadryl.
Okay.
For me.
The allergy medication.
Yeah.
Which has drowsiness.
Yeah.
Cause you know how it says like may cause drowsiness.
Yeah.
That's bullshit cause it will cause fucking drowsiness.
It makes me drowsy as shit.
So that helps.
But then you, I wait, then I have a lot of trouble coming out of being asleep.
Like I wake up and I feel like locked in for a good half hour where I'm just extra zombie.
I don't like it.
For to fall asleep naturally, man.
Says the man who wears his sleep apnea CPAP mask.
I was going to say the, you look like a half a mecha pilot in your fucking bed.
Listen.
And you're talking about falling asleep naturally.
If I, if I don't wear that thing now, I can't fall asleep.
I have fully crossed over to that point of it where like, if I'm lying on my back, I'm
like, oh, I'm sleepy, but I can't fall asleep.
Cause like, huh, breathing seems harder than normal because my stupid throat flaps don't
know how to open.
Huh.
So you've now gotten completely used to.
Oh yeah.
Absolutely.
And you've now completely embraced.
I'm bad at not breathing manually.
Like I'll just be sitting around, you know, you're breathing automatically.
Not breathing manually.
Yeah.
Breathing automatically.
I'm bad at it.
Okay.
Like I'll be sitting around and be sitting there playing a video game, just chilling,
watching a TV.
Hey, just be like, what's wrong?
I'm like, what do you mean what's wrong?
It's like, you just stopped breathing and then went, and it's like, oh no.
I just forget to breathe sometimes.
That was a skill that I did not fully learn.
Um, you don't learn it.
It's equipped automatically at person, man.
It's I clearly decided at birth on my character sheet to go for some debuffs for some extra
points.
I don't know where I put those points.
Like if you, but it's the only thing that makes sense.
If you unequip auto breathing, you're pretty much looking at like three warning messages
going, are you really sure you want to take this off extra difficult with this option
turn on?
Are you, are you certain?
And then yes and no are inverted so that the cursor is always on no.
And yes, takes like five seconds before it pops up.
Yeah.
I'm really certain that you can't unequipped auto breathe.
Well, I did.
And I'm going to live with that decision for a bit.
Well, I mean, the fun part about unequipping it is that that slot is now free.
Yeah.
For what?
You can put something skills.
Have I learned in my life auto auto breathing is a chip that takes up at least 20 at least
it's a pretty 15 to 20 slots.
There's at least 15 to 20 slots now free for other shit.
I'm sitting here talking on a video game podcast about the video games that I played.
Is that the slot I unlocked being able to remember that EGM article from the year 2000.
Again, you want chip efficiency.
So if you unequip auto breathe, you probably you you likely have equipped auto don't shit
your pants.
No.
Hold on.
Well, maybe it's expensive.
It's is it.
It is.
And we can do better because I'm still at zero.
I'm still at zero.
Oh, you know what?
I saw somebody ask in a comment last week on one of my one of my archives and it was a different
conversation from the one we had on the podcast.
It was just why is Pat so terrified of shitting his pants?
Why is it such a real fear?
And the answer is the same reason that I'm so terrified of bees.
I've never make sense.
I've never shit my pants.
I've never been stung by a bee.
Therefore, my whole life, I've spent being afraid of, oh, man, I bet it's really bad
to get stung by a bee and shit your pants.
Oh, so I bet it's the worst thing that could ever happen to a person.
So wait, are you one of those people where, like, if you flip a coin and it ends up being
heads 19 times, you assume that the 20th time it's going to be, like, double tails?
I might have been at one time, but that specific example I learned out of my system because
I know that odds don't work that way.
Yes.
So you assume but you assume that every day that you're not stung by a bee or shitting
your pants means tomorrow it's double as likely.
Not in terms of likeliness.
It's in terms of I don't know what it's like, so I don't know how to prepare for how bad
it would be.
For how bad it would be.
So the anticipatory doom in the future makes it extra scary every time I get close to a
bee and almost shit my pants.
See, now there are people that were born stung by bees shitting their pants at the same time.
That's right.
That can tell you that it's really, you can, you move on.
Well, it reminds me of people that.
You do learn to live with it.
And I have like a real example of this like you ever know somebody who somehow, somehow
they hit the age of 25 and they never got into one physical altercation.
Yes.
Yes.
Actually, I do.
Those people are terrified of a punch to the face to their face.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because they like it, they feel like it will kill them.
Right.
Yeah.
If you were like 10 and you got in a schoolyard scrap with boys.
Yeah.
You'll remember, okay, it sucks, but it's not the end of the world.
But the anticipation.
The unknowing.
Yeah.
Unknowing.
Yeah.
Okay.
I see that.
I mean, see, I got into lots of fights when I was a little kid in high school, but I managed
to run fast enough away from all bees to a bathroom where I would be safe from both terrors.
Yes.
As someone who's experienced all of the above.
You've been stung by bees and you shit your pants in a schoolyard brawl.
All of the above.
I can tell you that life moves on.
Life moves on.
It gets better.
It gets better.
It gets better.
And you go, oh, okay.
And then it goes from the list of fears you have to the list of experiences that you've
encountered.
And possibly occasionally a funny story.
Yeah.
Depending on its circumstance.
And then you've got some lore and then you've got the, hey, if you walk across a kid on
the street that's shit in his pants because he's been stung by bees after a fight.
That's right.
You can go, hey kid, cheer up.
It gets better.
See, you know what's really interesting about your thought process on that?
Sure.
You look at a situation like that and you look at the person, you go, hey man, it'll be better
from now on.
And my identical piece of advice framed in the opposite is it's never going to get worse
than how it is right now.
Right, right, right.
Did you, I don't, you never read the wanted comic, but there's a character in it that
is the old man that sits on Wesley's doorstep and every time he has a shitty day as he's
going through his, his garbage life before he becomes a supervillain, the old man always
sees him and goes, hey Wesley, cheer up.
It might never happen, kiddo.
And he hears that every day that he walks into his apartment and it's the most depressing
piece of old man advice you can give somebody because it's not even a like, oh, bright skies
are coming, you know, just put on a happy face.
It's, hey man, your life might never get better than it is now.
It might never happen.
That big break you're looking for might never come.
So just be happy.
And it's like the most, like, it's not even cynical, it's just defeatist.
There's a variant of that that I got from older relatives and I'm sure there are some
listeners at home that are of the age that they will appreciate this.
Do you remember being told by old people that high school is the best time in your life
and that it'll never get better than it is in high school?
Yes.
A lot of people.
Or they are either that or just like, oh man, I miss those days.
What I wouldn't give to go back.
Oh man, it was the greatest time of my life.
You enjoy it because it's the greatest time.
And I remember like thinking at the time, oh.
Right, right, right.
This is, huh.
Yeah.
That was bullshit.
It's not a universal, that's for sure.
Hell no.
But I mean, again, at least you're not in a situation where you're doing six days of school
and then cram school during the summer.
Yeah.
Where, yeah, those are the days of yours that we wish to remember.
Well, I mean, if you're in a society or a culture or a location or a family situation
in which that is the norm, it's quite likely that you're going to go into a profession
in which there is very little actual change from that system.
Probably.
So the distinction is somewhat immaterial in the first place.
Because it's kind of training wheels for the crushing that's about to occur.
Just like how our school system out here in Canada and in the United States and all that
is just fucking industrial revolution training the kids to go work in the factories.
Yeah.
But then, you know, we stopped doing that.
But it doesn't change the fact that like, I feel like almost universally, there's a real
strong desire for a story setting to be set in a fictional high school where it looks
kind of like the one you remember.
Lockers lining the hallways and the school bells ringing and everyone just kind of having
infinite potential.
And it's great.
Yeah.
That.
Wow.
And I mean, you dated every girl.
What?
That's crazy.
Okay.
But like, even if you take it at like, we're super duper steeped.
We're oversteeped in Japan.
Yes.
So we have the visual novel fucking like at the tip of our tongues ready to go.
But take it back to like Western style high school stories and you get your freaks and
geeks and you're like, hey, dweeb, you know, like nerd getting slammed against a locker.
You're saved by the bell shit.
Yeah.
And you're captain of the football team jocks.
Yeah.
And all that jazz.
And it's like, yeah, that's exactly saved by the bell in a boy meets world or whatever.
And it's still like, people still want to go back to those high school times, even when
it wasn't super smooth and great and you weren't dating everybody with your high school harem.
It reminds me of, it reminds me of some old God.
It was a cracked after hours video, which those are great.
I remember they're great, right?
Yeah.
But they're talking about 80s movie villains and how in your high school show, your high
school movie rather, right?
You're Biff, right?
Biff Tannen.
Yep.
Biff's trying to kill you.
Yeah.
Murder.
Like.
End your life.
Guys are trying to kill you.
Yes.
Usually, usually by trying to run you over with their car.
If they succeed, not manslaughter.
Oh, it's all.
Murder one.
I'm not going to be, oh, my shit's ruined for the prom, all that evil villain or he's
going to get me kicked out of my club.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like, no, I'll die.
Yeah.
I mean, I mean.
And those are the good old days for some people.
I'm thinking of Stranger Things when they're at that cliffside.
Yeah.
They're like, children, you're about to commit murder one.
Yeah.
Those kids are really young in that bit, actually.
They're like 10.
Like the first year of high school.
Yeah.
Right?
It's like, are you seriously about to like throw this child off a cliff and like fucking
ruin the rest of your life?
Like, okay.
Not if they don't find the child at the bottom of the cliff.
Yeah.
But he's a snot nose dwee.
He deserves to die.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
I'm glad they kept that from that era where bullies are murderers.
The car running you over or almost running you off the road on your bike.
Shit.
Yeah.
And then they'll drive by and go, it's like, that's such a stupid lame thing to say after
the vehicular manslaughter you just attempted.
And then if a teacher catches you, it's just like, now, now, both of you.
Both of you.
You're both in trouble.
All right.
It's time to start.
You hit that button, which is, what's the deal with teachers sending both of you to
the office?
I swear to God, they weren't there to make the call.
They can't play arbiter of morality, even though their job is to be the arbiter of morality
to the children, but as they can't hit the instant replay button.
So the easy, lazy thing to do is to just-
You fought back to defend yourself to the office with you.
Not even you fought back.
No.
It's quite simply you were involved.
You were in the altercation.
You were involved.
Yeah.
Like when round one fight was announced, you were on screen.
And that's that.
It's quite, it's just, it's simpler, it's easier, and no one wants to have to fucking actually
figure out what happened.
That was the memory going through the Persona 5 team when they came up with the idea of
shitty adults of just like, oh, like it's tough being a young person and dealing with
just absurd on its face blanket injustices from people who are only in some cases like
eight years older than you.
But they're like, you remember the new teachers?
How young?
They were like 22.
No, no, no, no.
It was the teachers assistants slash the student teachers who are like 20.
The people who came in at like 1920, doing their year of college or Sagep, where they
would be teaching a real class for the first time for two years or so.
Yeah.
Like my sister is older than you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
And I'm taking this shit from you like you're supposed to be the king of the, fuck you.
Yeah.
That was a weird one.
And whenever scandalous things occurred, at least at my school, it was always with those
people because the age gap was so incredibly slim.
Yeah, it didn't have, to my knowledge, didn't have any of those shenanigans going on at
my school.
But you never know.
You never know.
And quite frankly, it did.
You just didn't know about it.
You know what?
I guarantee you it did.
You know what?
It happens a lot.
It's just often gotten away with.
It's often gotten away with.
I know.
I'm thinking back of like, there was that one teacher that had the really strict dress
code against skirts for some reason.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The one guy.
Yeah.
He's like, you can't wear those in the clat.
I'm like, why?
If I can come.
Yeah.
Oh.
I mean, well, that's the thing is like, so I know some kids went to schools without
uniforms at all.
Yeah.
And I don't know what that's like.
Oh, my school had no uniform.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
Because we had a fucking dress code and elementary and then a full on uniform in high school.
Yeah.
I just dodged it where like a couple of years after I got out the Institute of it.
Can I give, you know what?
Let's give, I want to give a shout out, a shout out to the supreme scumbag companies
that found a way to lay in the cut and create a fortune based on forcing kids in certain
high schools to use their products.
Shout outs to top marks for forcing their uniforms on people and to Justin's photos
for forcing their yearbook photos on people and no other company is allowed to come in
and compete.
Scholastic as well, where you have to go through them or you don't get your books.
It was fucked up.
I remember how they market directly to schools and they pay to be there, but then they make
it like it's educational and like they're not making a profit where they're making huge
ton mega profits.
Well, I mean, that's the same thing as the fucking, you remember, you're going to say
Jeff and just like, you need to buy these books, they're $85,000 has to be the newest
edition.
It uses a code for the online thing that we will never use once in this class.
And then you get the one cool professor is like, yeah, Jimmy, take this, photocopy it,
give photocopies out to the rest of the class.
Hard cut, hard cut to meeting the copy doctor on the bench right next to Concordia because
that's where he or she would sit and meet and slide money later.
You want to pay $135 for this textbook or literally known as the copy doctor.
I don't know.
It was years ago.
I don't know if it's still around today, but that was amazing because it was like you
sit on a bench outside the school and a nondescript person will walk up and hand you the goods.
Because yeah, absolutely.
Fuck you.
We're running this like mob style.
You know what about the uniforms again?
I remember because I had just gotten out of high school and then they were talking about
instituting the uniform at my old high school, right?
And the argument that I heard it's like, well, some kids are fucking poor and other kids
make fun of them because they're fucking poor.
So let's dress them all the same so that the richer kids who can have nice, super nice
clothes and the kid who wears the same thing every day doesn't get made fun of.
And I'm like, that makes sense.
And then apparently it just offloaded that poor shaming to your bag or your watch or
your hair.
Oh, yeah.
Well, people find a way, right?
Like people find a fucking way when when when when Jimmy and Costas and fucking Peter walk
in with the thick heavy chain, which is a showing underneath the white because they
everyone's got to take their style and make the uniform fit to their custom style.
Right. Right.
So whether it's in the same way that a ban show is still a student uniform, technically,
but you're wearing it like a badass because that's the thing you do as a delinquent.
Yeah.
So we would have the dudes that would wear wife, Peter underneath open button and then
show some kind of chain, you know, or roll up the sleeves.
Everyone had a little custom style to it and you find a way to make your individuality
show that you're still flossing.
So what you're telling me is that the kids will always find a way to be shitheads.
I mean, in their eyes, they're not being shitheads.
They're kind of just trying to find out what these new feelings and smells are.
And and they're trying to use them to impress the girls who are also confused
about these new feelings and smells.
So I think it's more so kind of trying to figure themselves out.
But also, yes, I got to really ask as somebody who is smelling deficient, what
the fuck are you talking about?
Puberty, what smells?
Puberty. Yeah.
Yeah. Did you not catch the part where a part of puberty is perspiration?
There you go.
All right.
OK, what do you think happens?
I don't know what the fuck you were talking about.
You grow hair in places that you did not and things start to smell differently
and perspiration is a part of it.
See, I don't even puberty was so long ago that I don't.
I don't even I forgot that sweating was associated with puberty.
OK, well, if you paid attention to your textbook.
No, we didn't have a textbook.
We had a weird creepy video that had a music video called Changes
that was nightmare. Oh, God, why doesn't I feel like?
Did I did I watch something like that?
I am so happy that I I I talked to my parents first,
because like the the fucking sex ed I got was like, watch the video.
All right, anyone want some questions?
All right, no questions.
Great math. OK, like the teachers couldn't get away from it fast enough.
Complete opposite.
Parents were the ones that were like, oh, OK.
You don't need to know that because of the Lord.
Yeah. So you know how this works, right?
No. Yeah, you do.
But no, I really don't. OK.
Well, the Lord.
Yeah, Adam and Eve.
Yes. And and OK.
Leaves not great contraceptives.
Yeah, what marriage do not spill your seed on the ground as
that is a sin against God.
As somebody who has not read the Bible in many ever,
whenever I heard the phrase, make sure not to spill your seed on the ground.
My brain went to find someone to put it in so that don't hit the floor.
Basically, is that what that is?
Kind of getting at that.
Yeah, because I think that's the opposite lesson than they want what they want.
No, that would be acceptable back then.
Just find somewhere to put it that is not the ground.
And as and, hey, as long as it's for the purpose of creating life, then you're all good.
OK, well, what if I could throw it on the ground and would create life on the ground?
Oh, well, then you're fucking Okami.
Then you're Amaterasu and you're special.
And you can do whatever the fuck you need to do.
One of them goddamn pagan assholes.
Oh, no. Like this dude can fucking.
Can shoot the ground and flowers are grown out of that shit.
Like, but only every, you know, every once in a while.
And that second flower is really shitty looking cute.
Okami music. Oh, that's bad.
I like it.
It's gross. How was your week?
I was pretty good, very lazy.
I did pretty much one thing, most of it.
And then a second thing, most of it, shocker, they were video game related.
I'll start with the thing that I did the last least of, which is
I went and saw that Hitman 2 was on sale.
Yep. And I went.
God, I used to love those old Hitman games and by old Hitman games,
I mean every Hitman game except for contracts and absolution.
Yeah. And went, I actually own Hitman one.
Remember, we did the video of it, but never touched it.
And then I saw, hey, did you know that if you own everything for Hitman one,
they ported all the levels into Hitman 2
as a as a bonus and you get to use all the Hitman 2 features
and little technical things as well.
So Hitman 2 added like picture and picture
like you'd see in a David Cage game when they find a body.
Somebody finds something.
And now that's in the old.
So I played through that.
Well, no, I didn't play through that.
I played the first two missions and I bounced off that real hard
because I was stupid and could not.
You remember that now that I was in a situation
in which I could give it a little more patience.
Boy, that's a great fucking like, holy shit.
And they did so much to help that Hitman formula actually work
whereas back in the day, like back in Hitman one and two,
it's like, get your guide out, look at the guide.
The guide will tell you when so and so is going to stand in a certain location.
So and you will look at your guide
so that you don't crawl through the level for an hour to find that out.
The most the most ridiculous thing to me was when I played the first Hitman
and learned bad.
Well, it was when the keyboard controls for walking were not W.
A. S. D. But were, in fact, a square radial.
So let me I can't even tell you because I feel like I have to look at the keyboard
to remember. But what I do recall, if I look at this keyboard here is that
like, I feel like there was like I feel like it was like there was a square.
So it was almost like W. E. R. S. D. F. X. C. V.
You know, and like then like there's an outer circle of like walking slow
and then walking fast. Yeah.
And then they basically tried to create analog via key buttons. Yeah.
And it was too much. Hitman one.
Is mediocre.
There are some really out unbelievably bad missions in that game.
But it's fucking cool as a concept for the first time you're ever seeing it.
You're sold on it.
And that means you're going to go through the problems and not really know their
problems because you're like, I get to be a hitman. Yeah.
Wow, I choked that guy with some wire fucking sick.
And the hitman, too, was great.
Hitman, too, you're like, OK, I already know what it's like to be a hitman.
Now I just want to streamline the experience.
But like the bigger things that they added that I mean, I'm obviously
late to the party on this, right? But they added the what are they called?
Mission stories. Yeah.
Which are you click on a mission story and it's like deliver the vodka.
I'm like, huh? So what it is is it will put a little waypoint on it.
Did you play the new hitman games?
I played, I mean, obviously, I worked at the fucking company
that that I mean, I mean, the two new new ones. No, I only
touched a little bit of the first one when it was in an extremely early state.
And then with the video that we did,
because the biggest thing about these mission stories is like, OK,
deliver the body, it'll put a little waypoint that says get a soldier disguise
and then it'll give you a waypoint on the vodka and then you deliver the vodka.
And that is to show you this is one of the scripted interactions
that you can cause to make things happen in the level.
It's not going to then tell you now poison the motherfucker or whatever,
but it they will walk you through like this is how you get the guy in the plane.
This is how you get the guy in the radio room, etc.
So with that knowledge, once you've completed that,
then you can tackle the challenges, which are one line of dialogue,
one one line of text and one screenshot,
which is usually a hint of some condition to do in the level.
Some get the guy with a spotlight, get him with the booze,
drown him in a toilet, you know, whatever.
And there's a shit ton of them.
And that level of just point me at something so that I don't just walk
into a room and silence to shoot him in the face and then leave the mission
and be done with the mission is great.
And the fact that you fill up those you fill up those challenges
and those mission stories, you gain mastery,
which lets you do stuff like starting a different location
or smuggling a sniper rifle or all these things.
How much of the last one did you play?
The last one being Hitman one.
No, well, of the first reboot of the first reboot,
I played the tutorial and the 40 minutes we played on video.
OK, prior to that, absolution, I got what I want to say.
Halfway through and was like, I hate this.
OK, hate it so much.
Blood money, I put a lot of time.
Yes, exactly, as as you should have to.
I put a lot of time into.
Did you do the sniper challenge?
I did not do the sniper challenge.
OK, or or play the the mobile.
OK, I have hit mango on my phone.
Never loaded it up.
The reason why I ask is because as a franchise and I mean,
no, I didn't I felt this, but you don't feel it more.
You know, you'll never feel it as much as you do
when you're looking at like the build and test. Right.
That game absolutely suffers from sameness
and franchise fatigue if you play too much of it.
Oh, yeah.
Missions can only be so different.
And yeah, there's only so many ways that you can take out enemies.
And even the creative level specific ones are a lot of the times
they're like you're doing them to see the thing,
but they're not the best way to do it slash they're not.
There's a lot of situations where you're like
I'm like it's like playing the Assassin's Creed games
back to back to back to back to back.
Or it's like watching the Bourne movies back to back to back
where you're like those franchise movies are hilarious.
If you watch which I did exactly.
It's hilarious. It's a joke.
The music is the exact same and then he starts talking
and then everything starts picking up in the exact same way.
And you're like, oh, my God, did I not just watch this exact scene?
The franchise needs space.
And if you didn't play those last two games to completion,
or at least to the point of like getting tired of them
and then stopping halfway through or whatever, then.
Yeah, you're going to be fine with.
Yeah, there's there's only a couple of things
you can actually do in those hitman games.
You can murder a target directly with either a melee weapon
or a gun or you can accident them
with a level specific item or environmental thing.
You can cause them to get killed by an environmental trigger
that you have caused by damaging a generator
and then having someone go talk to it.
Or you can crisis that the only three create conflict
between multiple NPCs.
And then the fourth one, I was going to say,
it's like you can move them to a location with one of these factors
and then kill like drown them in a toilet
or you know, some environmental killer.
Yes, and then hide in this or that.
I remember in blood money,
the funniest one was if somebody was standing near a railing,
you would just tap them on the shoulder and they'd ragged all off the edge.
Right. And it was just like, oh, well, accident.
I don't know how to pronounce it because I've never,
I don't think I've said it out loud
even in the product in the process of QA.
But Garot. Garot. Garot.
Garot. Yeah. Like, all right.
Oh, you know what? I think you're right.
Garot like Garot.
Garot. Garoting wire, I think.
Garot or Garot wire. Yeah.
Well, anyway, you're fucking good fellowism.
Yeah. And that would often just become
the way to just speed through a level.
Would just be like, find the right corner.
You fucking good fellows wire and then
and then dump in the nearest hiding spot and then keep moving.
So like the the new games have,
like, in addition to showing you where all the cool little things are,
giving you dozens of challenges to complete, to actually finish a level.
Like, I mean, not to beat the level and continue with the story,
but to like master a level helps with that
because I remember the first time I played Hitman to.
Oh, God, the first time I played Hitman
to Silent Assassin for the PlayStation 2.
This is really confusing.
OK, this is about as bad as a cat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The games are actually called Hitman and yeah, man, too.
I took my silence pistol, snuck into a room,
shot the guy in the face, left silent assassin.
Woo, the best way.
I did it the best way, right?
And I blew through that game fast.
What are you? What are you getting?
You getting? Oh, oh, he's pulled.
Oh, my God.
He's Oh, God, that's confusing.
Well, he has gone to his shelf.
I wanted to look at the packaging for the Hitman trilogy
to see if the examples on the back of it.
No, it just shows you the boxes because I wanted to see if the missions
on the back of it or if I could point out they're like a same fucking thing.
Yeah. In the in the missions.
But yes. But yeah.
So now it's like, OK, get a soldier's outfit and shoot.
The guy with an assault rifle.
OK, I don't think there's going to be a way to do that silently.
So that's definitely a different way to solve the mission.
And the best thing about the challenges, though,
is say a challenge is like blow the guy up with an explosive, right?
Yeah, you don't actually have to beat the mission to clear the challenge.
You just have to do it. Right.
So on like because like, yeah, no, there's no way I'm going to be able
to shoot the guy with an assault rifle in the middle of the hangar
with in front of a hundred guards and not get caught.
Well, good. Yeah, the challenge got ticked.
Yeah, just complete it regardless as to what else goes on.
Yeah. Blow the fucking mission and get the get all your achievements in one bad run.
But yeah, game so far is great.
I'm loving it.
I the little tweaks of the formula have made a big difference.
So I mean, the reboot was an attempt to it's a soft reboot.
Soft soft the soft reboot was an attempt to just go back to the purity
of what everyone was like looking for with all the tightness and new features and so on.
Now, here's the thing.
That's a franchise that has a dedicated hardcore.
Yeah. Right.
In the same way that thief had a dedicated hardcore.
And I'm not the person to be saying, hey, you know what this thing needs
because I'm not in that dedicated hardcore group.
But what would get me interested as someone who has touched a couple of the
hitman games and whatnot would be a completely refreshing way to play.
Maybe in the style of a different character, especially, I mean,
they set up a second character in Absolution.
But, you know, I don't think I don't think a lot of people I don't think that goes anywhere.
But they set up a little Leon, the professional style.
Oh, yeah.
You've got a little sidekick and that girl can become the new thing.
That's hitman has a really weird relationship to its main character
in that 47 is about as blank a fucking slate as has ever existed.
He's a bald white man with a barcode on his back who wears a suit.
And his backstory is that he's even more generic.
Yeah, his backstory is he's the 47 clone.
He's even more generic than your first assumptions.
He's a non entity.
Yeah.
However, if you gave us a different character, they would almost be too much
of a character automatically for that series.
I don't know.
It's weird.
It just like the first thing that comes to mind is right in gameplay.
Fucking gun vaults.
Second, you know what I mean?
Zero, you're looking at me weird.
But I'm all I'm trying to say is a second playable character.
Oh, I thought you meant no, give me right in gameplay.
No, I'm saying, OK, give me give me a different secondary main character
that does things a little that it does things a little differently
and allows the same environment to feel a little refreshing
because they can handle things in a different way.
You know, I think they'd rather focus on new interesting ways to murder people.
I guess seems to be their focus.
Yeah, probably, probably, you know, I mean, maybe it's a terrible idea.
But I feel like that would be the first thing that would be like,
oh, I want to know more about how this new character can handle
getting out of assassination situations in a completely different way.
Maybe they have dialogue trees because, you know, maybe they have other ways
of getting out of things besides tucking your hat down and walking a little bit.
That's don't.
That is the one game that did that.
And that was very bad.
And no one liked it.
No one, no one liked that part.
Yeah.
You know what, we are the professional.
I don't know if that's going to happen,
because I think back and you describe the dedicated following.
This is a game series that had four games in a row that were all exactly the same
and people love them and they sold well.
Yes.
And then they went, hey, man, let's shake it up.
Let's make it modern.
Yeah.
And it was a fucking critical and commercial train wreck.
Yeah.
And then they were like, let's make it just like the old games.
And it was a critical and commercial success.
Yeah.
You know, the funny thing, too, is what I'm describing
is soft.
What happened in in the F look, but.
They the version that got out that the version that was released
was a gimped ass version of it, where.
Whereas the original that had this, there was an actually a protégé
character, there was a protégé character in the F. Have you played?
Not played.
Touched in you.
OK, the F for the I'm sorry.
It's the four, but we call it the F.
It's been a minute, so the people might be wondering what the fuck that is.
There's a protégé girl that's kind of like an up and coming thief
that is under Garrett and.
Basically ends up being like central to the main plot,
but ultimately not at all being anything interesting by the time
the whole thing wraps up and like just becomes a weird MacGuffin.
Oh, wonderful.
And originally there was talks about like having her playable
and having it be, you know, a bigger deal in a different way.
And and yeah, and I think that a lot of the time
what's cool about introducing a new character that's playable
alongside the old traditional one is that you can try out wild new ideas
and no one's going to necessarily, you know, be like, well, you're taking away.
No, because if 47 is still there like Dante,
then why not fuck with Nero?
You should play dishonored, right?
The son or two are describing exactly what they did with dishonored.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And that's it.
I'm like, you give us a Nero and you and you do some crazy, wild new ideas.
Then Dante's still there and people are like, yeah, that's not a, you know,
now it's like, give us Nero and Dante.
Oh, but you're going to give us our crazy new idea.
OK, here's V. Yeah, yeah.
So 47 being present and and still being 47.
Is necessary.
He's the bedrock.
But I think if you had something else to somebody with hair, someone with hair.
Oh, wow, to mess around with it might actually probably the weirdest part
of the whole playing hitman experience is that you do the training mission
when he's like trying to sign up for the evil organization or whatever.
Yeah.
And you take the first disguise in the tutorial and your British handler lady
goes, oh, wow, stealing is close.
No one's ever tried that before.
And it's like, one, that's ridiculous.
Two, are you the same character?
Diane, I know, but are what?
Because in three, that was very conclusive.
Three, this is our Diana single most hitman thing ever.
Why would you even pretend that it's new?
Yeah.
Did they just get another British?
Yes. Oh, boy.
Yes, they did boy.
It's like Bond.
No one cares as long as there's a letter and an accent.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess I don't know.
Like now that we're sitting and talking about it, I feel like I'm like,
there's a lot of different things that a 47 doesn't do or is not really good.
It doesn't do anything that doesn't involve preparing and then murdering.
Social ability.
He has zero.
Yeah.
Hacking.
He doesn't really he puts a USB.
He puts a little stick in a thing, right?
He doesn't really go bbbb.
Clickety-clackety-clack.
You know, I'm sure if you want to blend in.
Yeah, he can blend in, but I don't know.
What if you need to?
I don't know.
Like I'm sure you can sit down and workshop it a little bit and we're not going to.
Yes, we're radar powers in his mind.
Yeah.
But you know, it's like, how do you how do you give him a devil bringer, you know?
How do you give him an assassin devil bringer, so to speak?
I don't know.
How do you take his abilities as an assassin and and give someone?
Well, the easiest way to do that would to be give a character heightened
movement abilities, but lack the ability to give to use disguises or defend themselves.
Right. Yeah.
And then I think about that.
I think that that might be the most boring possible way to play Hitman ever.
Spider Manning it.
Yeah, because like the the fun in Hitman is disguising yourself
to cause all sorts of goofy interactions in the level.
Could be, you know, perhaps a unique way to like, you know,
perhaps a unique way to to to walk past people and I don't fucking syringe them.
See, it's people like you that now we're back to the good shit.
And all you can think about is how to change that.
Yeah, ruining the dark souls, the easy mode, motherfuckers ruining the franchise.
Well, I guess that's why I put the disclaimer up top and said,
I'm not the person.
But my brain just like, yeah, your main thing is that you just you worked on
and then grew a love of blood money, right?
Yeah. Yeah.
Because blood money is great.
But I also I but I came into before I tested blood money.
I did play Hitman one back in the day.
But and you went didn't touch.
And once fucked up didn't play to I remember my brother playing it
and I just kind of watched or whatever and then came on blood money
and fucking hit man really, really loved blood money.
And one must have like the worst mission ever in the series
where it's like you're just crawling through a factory with guards
and it's a linear path.
Yeah, to just shoot a guy with a rifle at the end.
Going from that to fucking Ave Maria, spin those sticks, get out of the fucking coffin.
I got you. Come on.
That was so good.
Fantastic.
Or or or the cello scene on the balcony.
What a good game anyway.
Yeah, OK.
And then the other thing that I spent most of my time with was replaying
that Resident Evil 2 demo over and over and over and over with the use of one
a dozen fake PSN accounts.
I see the screenshot.
And then to the trainer that you can get from an unscrupulous piracy website.
Wait, Chinese website. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Hold on a second.
Trader as in like side executable. Super.
Yes, suspicious exe file on your PS4.
No, on your PC.
OK, there's a PC demo. OK, OK, OK.
You want infinite ammo and super speed?
No, I just want to reset the demo's timer.
Yeah, OK. Yeah.
That demo led to Resident Evil 2 becoming
Steam's global top seller
like the day after came out and it's
very clear why.
So I have I will obviously have difficulty separating my ridiculous fanboy
adoration for this series and this game in particular from it objectively.
But from a complete like whatever did the good.
It did the very good.
But from a complete like whatever, I don't know nothing about Resident Evil
as a as a shooty horror game.
Wow, the sound design is really impressive.
It's visually gorgeous.
It controls extremely well.
Did you did you fucking calibrate your surround system?
And no, I did not. I did not have a surround.
Were you playing with headphones?
I was not playing with headphones. OK.
Because.
But it does use Benora audio.
Sick, which if you want to use headphones, you should put that game
with headphones and Benora audio, yeah, because it will be very spooky.
Senua sacrifice as well has binaural audio.
And yeah, you want to get that that absolute weird creepy left right.
But as a as a pure although,
although do you want your game to be able to ASMR you at will?
That's not ASMR.
No, but it has it can create that tingle.
No, if they if a sound goes from one channel to the other in a way that not necessarily.
Don't don't tell me what ASMR is.
Don't you sit there and you fucking ASMR newbie.
Do you want over there?
Do you want your game to be able to create that tingle on the back of your neck at will?
Yeah, if it's like a fucking indie happy wind game like grease or something like that,
but a fucking horror game with screeching horrible zombie noises is not going to do that.
Now, if you could get me a binaural audio recording of a man
mortaring a stone fence in front of his house.
Now, that'll give you the tingle.
But this video, no, that's ridiculous.
That's absurd.
I when I when I hear sounds that like slide from left to right.
Oh, is that is that?
Is it just the sound moving?
The sound sliding from left to right in my ear creates a tingle
right as it hits the middle point.
Oh, that's so weird for me. Wow.
I thought that was universal.
No, see the whole thing.
OK, here we go. Fuck.
I know what ASMR is, though.
But ASMR, no, no, no, no, no, I dozens of different triggers at this point.
At this point, it's been so like so many people have been like, what the fuck is it?
And it's comes, I know, yes, I get that.
Yeah, but the people at home may not know.
But the whole point is that, like, that may work for you,
but it won't necessarily work for somebody else.
Fair enough.
Right. And ASMR is not creepy sex shit.
Stop it. Stop it.
ASMR is pure. It's pure.
It's watching, watching people chew and whisper and make noises.
I mean, it gets weird, man.
Prop. Well, it gets really weird.
The weirdest ones is the is the activities that are so banal,
like shaking a matchbox.
OK, but like whenever we remember when we first heard about muckbang
and everyone laughed at it and went, that's crazy.
OK, this picture now of you listening to your ASMR video
and watching the footage of it.
That's right. This is the version.
This is the five seconds you need to clip and show to your ancestors,
right, where they're going, what the fuck is the future?
You know, well, this is the segment where we're now there.
No, like we're now there.
There's multiple absurd moments that you can have of technology
coming into a complete what the fuck, a perfect storm.
And then I would tell that I would confusion.
Tell my ancestor you ever felt kind of relaxed just sitting around
watching people build something and they go, yeah, like they're done.
Thumbs up.
I mean, I've talked pleasantly about the sound of lawnmowers
in the distance on a Sunday morning.
Yeah, they have to be a certain distance.
They can't be right near.
They've got to be far away.
It has to be like two doors.
No, it's got to be like in the nearby church
that's like a block down, but you can hear them going.
Yeah, absolutely.
Way in the distance.
Next to you, you need to it needs.
It's got to be trees rustling, perhaps a bird chirp or two.
But behind that layer, you need the lawnmowers going.
So. Oh, right.
So resident able to the demo is alternatively
incredibly short or quite long, depending how long you want to spend
in particular areas, also depending on what I would call your level of fear.
Because the slow like you can you.
I think the world record right now is like three minutes, twenty five second.
Like you could all ask for it through that demo last sprint.
But there are a lot of particular things that are super impressive.
Like for audio, visual presentation, I don't think I have to explain that
to anybody, anybody who's seen a video of the RE2 remake.
It's fucking unbelievably gorgeous.
It's so good looking.
It's using RE7's engine, but it's doing way more
and having a character on the screen, I feel really helps.
Like it's voice acting is real now.
Yeah, Marvin, the the cop, you know, the guy who talks to them.
His voice acting is amazing.
It's really, really great as well as his facial animation.
The the changes to this was such a stupid thing.
But like the controls are slightly different from the original
because of course they are, duh.
And I was originally.
No, but no, like it took one second to get used to them.
Oh, OK, these controls are good.
So where does the crazy kick in?
The crazy for like what was not well, I'm trying.
I'm trying to I'm trying to go for positive, positive, fine.
Overall, because it's nearly universally positive.
The most interesting thing about this game
is the way that they have handled the resource aspect of it.
So survival horror games are like, hey, you have trouble finding all the ammo
and the weapons, and then there's lots and lots of enemies everywhere.
And you have to conserve your health and ammunition.
Yeah, you got it, right?
Demo gives you a lot of ammo.
Demo gives you a very significant amount of ammo, gives you enough
to kill everything in every room in the demo.
Anyway, definitely probably not in the full game, at least not when you find it
the first time through. But yeah, you can get everything. OK.
The difference is, is that the zombie animation
and the zombie behavior is so good that
it has changed the way you think about ammo.
Guns. So in the original game, you'd shoot a zombie
after three to five bullets, they'd stagger or fall over.
If their head exploded or they got a really specific, like
really big blood effect on their chest that would persist,
you would know they were dead and then they would fall over
and then the blood would come out from underneath the body.
If blood didn't come out from underneath the body, they were still alive.
So be careful.
And zombies are maybe 85 percent of all enemies you'll fight in the game.
In this game, one, they have a super, super, super detailed
damage model that actually works like Soldier of Fortune did.
You remember that shit? How they had a I didn't play it.
Soldier of Fortune one back when it came out like fucking 15 years ago.
The way that it did its damage modeling is it had points of articulation
and every point of articulation was a sever point for the model.
OK. And underneath the model, there was like like 300 for the PSP.
Oh, wow. Got it.
And underneath the model, there was a second texture that was the
flesh texture that you would blow off the top texture.
And then it would switch out for the the lower one.
So you'd shoot a guy and oh, no, his guts are exposed.
And all that is like fellow.
So all right, two does that with, you know, the very it's, you know what?
That game is astonishingly violent.
It is the goriest thing I have ever seen in a game.
So we saw in the trailer how wounds look like real wounds.
Yeah, there's what you we all saw in the trailer or the demos,
the Leon looking at the guy with the slashed face.
It's even grosser in the game because because it's direct feed.
You get like the extra sparkles on the guts. OK.
It's outrageous.
But on top of that, you can blow zombies heads into little confetti.
Their arms off their legs off their guts out and then cut them in half.
So the meat is meaty. Yeah, yeah.
And the arm one in particular is extra like vicious ragu.
Because when you shoot them in the arm, what happens is their
their arm elbow down will begin to ragdoll.
Oh, and then and then on the next animation loop that the zombie moves,
the arm, it will pop off.
That's sick.
Which includes which includes animations such as them reaching for you
and their arm just goes and just hits the floor.
That's pretty fucking advanced.
So you're shooting zombies and it's very gory and there's a lot of blood.
There's even blood splatter back on your character.
Do so.
Does that happen with like legs as well?
Yes, you can have that moment of they take the step.
No. And then the collapses on them.
If you pop them in the in the legs to the point where their leg fall off,
they they immediately drop and then they crawl forward in the OK, OK, OK.
So you're shooting zombies is blood everywhere, yada, yada.
OK, I put thought.
Oh, here's the weirdest part.
There is no significant difference.
And I've I've tested this about over 20 zombies.
There is no significant difference between shots to the head, the chest,
the arms, the legs in terms of the enemy's total health pool.
OK, so say the zombie has a hundred hit points,
doesn't seem like headshots actually do any more damage.
What headshots do do is stagger them every single time you shoot them
and have a like one in 20 chance to pop the head, which would end them for real.
But say, oh, I put five shots into the zombie and it's down.
Not only is it down, it's ragdolled on the way down
and I can move over and walk my character back and forth through it
and ragdoll it and its legs are moving around.
OK, but that doesn't actually mean that it's dead
because you can come back and it will get up or you can knife it.
And what it does is they will ragdoll into the position that they naturally fall in.
And then when they either decide to get up or you hit them again,
they will then reset to either an A pose if they're on their back
or an H pose if they're on there like this, like an H pose on their front.
On their front, yeah, they'll just they'll snap into that
and then do their animation to get up.
Aside from hitting them once they're down,
I can determine no way to ever tell
if a zombie is dead, if their head is still on their body.
Ever. I and some zombies will get up
multiple times after apparent deaths.
And you're talking you're not talking like waiting,
you're talking running back and forth through the area.
Yes. OK. I timed it.
And I so it appears to trigger on area transition
within a certain distance from it or like multiple minutes
like watching them get up and they appear to all be randomized.
Some will get right back up like immediately.
Some I I watched one not get back up for two minutes.
So unless their head is destroyed to always destroy the head or well,
because you don't really actually have that option,
because even if you shoot them nine times in the head,
the head might not necessarily explode, right?
Hmm. And nifing is nifing is a solution.
So every zombie that you want to make sure is dead, dead, dead, dead.
Knife on the ground after it's down.
Yeah, OK. But knives have durability.
So so and and there's this.
And so if if you never got grabbed by a zombie
and you just checked them every time with the knife,
you'd have more than enough knife durability. Easy.
What about just legging everyone so and then running by them?
I found people talking that in an old interview,
they talked about how they don't want guns to be the solution that they used to be.
So the fact that, OK, I popped everybody in the chest and they all fell down, right?
And now the area is cleared.
And then you come back and most of them are now still walking around.
Yeah. The thought then becomes,
well, what if I just popped three to three bullets into everyone's fucking feet?
Yeah.
But then you have the issue of now I have entire areas
coated with zombie floor, zombie floor.
Yeah. And they will touch you and grab you. Right.
In addition, I like I went into like bigger rooms
and just like kited zombies around for five, 10 minutes like, OK,
there is a lot of work that's gone into this enemy behavior.
Some some zombies track well.
Other zombies track badly.
So some zombies beeline straight towards you every time they have
like you are essentially like a homing beacon for the enemy's animation.
Other zombies will only go within a approximate direction.
So you will see zombies looking at you because they have head tracking,
but walking into furniture and slowly turning to face you in a roundabout way.
And that also appears to be random.
OK. Their speeds are not consistent.
And they also have a lunge within a certain radius of you
that your dash is faster than.
So if they lunge at you and you dash in the complete opposite direction,
they'll miss.
And if you're dashing and zombies grab you
from a 90 degree angle from your left or right sides,
there is a specific non damaging animation where they do get the grab
and your character manages to keep rushing and like football, push them off them.
OK, there is so much detail in this one enemy type.
It is so awesome.
And it sounds like I mean, seeing saying that it's eighty five percent of what you face nearly.
They've they want it to be a persistent nuisance as opposed to a grunt.
Yeah, that's that you're cutting.
There are also zombies that are on.
There are also zombies on the floor that you can shoot and that will wake them up.
And there are zombies on the floor that you shoot and they're part of the environment
because they are triggered to wake up later.
Right. So there's a there's a the very first zombie you meet in the demo.
It's the cop banging down the door after the guy gets caught in half.
You can see that zombies model in the room prior.
Right. You can what you walk past it, right?
And then it attacks you and then you see it move from its spot.
You can hit it as much as you want.
It takes zero damage.
It's only going to get up when the time is only going to get up when it's time.
So there's no there's no easy way out.
Right. There's some zombies that will get up when it's time
and you can trigger them early, but there's others that won't.
So I'm looking at this and I'm looking.
OK, here's a locked door with a chain.
Here's a locked door with a key.
So I'm going to have to go through this hallway at least four times.
And there are enough enemies in here that don't get up.
There are enough enemies in here that if I put them down, but don't really put them down that.
Even let's say the the entire RPD has 50 zombies.
They will be a nuisance for the entire time you are there
because it is unlikely that you will ever manage to make an area actually clean.
Like that's a big part of the old games is decide, hey,
I'm going to use this first floor staircase room a lot.
It's right next to a save point.
It goes to all these areas.
I'm going to kill everything in here
so that I don't have to deal with it.
Spend your spend your durability, spend your weapon.
They have taken the so.
But with the improved shooting, like, oh, that's going to be really easy, right?
Well, the improved shooting doesn't make it easier to kill them
because they still take just as much damage no matter where you shoot them.
And they have now made it so that keeping areas
actually enemy clear is very difficult.
In addition, zombies can follow you from room to room.
Like there are transition points that they can't get through
like they can't climb through windows.
They can't break down certain doors,
but they have free slow wandering within a certain very difficult or impossible
because like if you destroy all of your certain to clear out a certain areas
are actually impossible because they've undead.
Like there's a library at the very end of the demo.
It's the last room.
There are three zombies in there that attack you
and there are two cop zombies on the floor that can't be damaged.
Yeah.
So it's like, OK, well, those two will wake up later
and there's not much I can do about I can kill these three
and I can pound them into dirt and turn them into goo and they're done.
Are there are there any other enemy types in the demo?
None in the demo.
You see a liquor for one second as it crawls by a window,
just like in the old game, but they changed the location.
Is there a chance that the other enemies have this much insanity put into them?
Or is it not necessary?
There is. They're much more.
So I have decided to go down the insane path
of reading up on all the leaked achievements and all of the data miners.
OK. And so in R.E.
to zombies or most enemies, then liquor is your second most common enemy.
And then you have your dogs, then you have your plant monsters,
your spiders and your bosses like that.
It's actually relatively low and your naked zombies,
which count as a different enemy type because of their speed.
Naked zombies can almost run at you.
They're very fast. Oh, are crimson heads in this?
Crimson heads are not because crimson heads are actually liquors.
OK. And they have also they've they taken the idea of the crimson head
of like, what if that zombie gets up back later and turned it into that
long scale mechanic of just enemies just don't die? OK.
Um, liquors have there's an achievement in the game for
for blinding a liquor by damaging their sense of sound.
Because liquors are blind and they.
So I imagine that is throw a flashbang at a liquor
and it will completely screw them the fuck up.
But I don't have enough footage of them.
I know that liquors have the ability to crawl on any surface
and also jump all over the place.
I don't know if spiders are still in the game.
That would be depressing,
but it would make a lot of sense that zombies got all this extra attention.
It's crazy detailed.
Like it makes the molded in Ari seven look lazy by comparison because
well, the molded are not a good enemy. They're bad,
especially since they're the only enemy type in Ari seven.
And that's pretty dull.
Wondering about the dogs. Dogs.
I mean, you know what?
There's also an achievement for shooting a dog out of the air.
Which is something you used to do a lot.
Yeah, when they do the lunch.
They likely do not have the level of damage
articulation that the zombies have,
because they wouldn't be able to walk on like three legs, probably.
I've seen dogs walking on three legs.
Yeah, I've seen dogs walking on two legs.
Yeah, fuck that.
But these are zombie dogs.
They're not very smart or coordinated.
I wonder if the plant monsters are still there. I hope so.
So you have all of that mechanics, right?
All of those.
And though it's not in the demo,
you will for periods of time be being chased constantly by Mr.
X, the big ass tyrant in the green trench coat.
And it makes me think of like, OK,
we have a situation in which you have to be running through areas,
but you can't be sure that enemies that you killed are still dead.
While being so like it creates a really nice situation
in which areas that should be safe are not actually safe.
Right. And but you have to go there because a guy is behind you.
OK, well, it gives me great faith for this demo.
Do you have?
Sorry, this game.
So you said you said you had the dash and stuff.
Do you have the same level of crazy manoeuvrability
that mercenaries introduced?
Which mercenaries are E5 mercenaries?
OK, so the movement in the game is
well, I mean, it's obviously unique because
like in R E5, you still had left, right
movement and then run forward.
But like later on, you I've seen literally
like on the ground prone shooting.
Oh, that's R E6. That's R E6.
OK, rolling fucking back. Absolutely not.
OK, you have a walk.
You have a jog.
I wouldn't even call it a sprint and I shouldn't have called it a dash.
It is a jog.
It is a leisurely jog.
OK, and the biggest difference is that it's the only R E game ever
that you can spin the left analog stick and your character will run in a circle
where left and right are not tied to your camera.
There's no tank controls.
Tank controls are completely gone.
Yeah, this game is going to be great.
Also, in diving in the data mining stuff,
there's a true ending.
People have found scenario data, which means the zapping system might be there.
Yay.
But actually, much more interesting than that, there is
there is a system that is in there somewhere called the rogue system,
which supposedly stands for rogue like,
which has which has points, levels, checkpoints, warp gates,
different playable characters, weapon loadouts and a DLC menu.
Chalice dungeons.
So.
And there's also achievements in the game for a hardcore mode.
So the PC version of RE2 that came out in 2006
has a mode called hardcore mode, and all it does is randomize the item placement.
And enemy placement, I believe, maybe, and I'm not sure about that one for the PC.
OK, but OK, all they have to do to make this game
just the fucking best for ever is you hit a button and random items,
randomized automatically, enemies, randomized to a degree.
Yeah, holy shit, dude.
That's it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're done.
Because the biggest problem, like, look at look at the bullshit
people do to Dark Souls to make it replayable.
Right? Why? Because they can't get that same feeling again.
With survival horror, every item is in the same place.
If you know where all the ammunition is,
you know that you can kill everything in the game or not.
Yeah. And you know, OK, I need this many bullets for this room.
I need this many bullets for this room and it becomes a formula.
Yeah, no, this that creates the infinite replay
where your skills are not based on your memorization,
but they're based on your actual problem solving and adaptability, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they also said that I'd be a really good and tofu.
They showed the hunk and tofu in the trailer.
And that's on the docket, right?
Yeah. And.
There was one more thing.
That I am now. Oh, right.
In the in the demo, they've data mined the phrase.
I'm done after this.
They've data mined the phrase, classic, classic camera mode.
Which I am going to assume.
Are you taking a piss? What's going on here?
Oh, he's going to the fridge, which I am going to assume is the big unlockable.
That they're so in the interviews,
they've said that we have a big unlockable plan for everyone after you beat the game.
It's quite possible that the game will have a fixed camera mode like the old games.
Aka the number one thing, the number one thing that that people like me still wanted.
And I remember thinking, wait, how the fuck is that going to work with the new shooting?
And then I died in the demo.
And when you die in the demo, they offer you assist mode and assist mode has the most
aggressive auto lock on aim assist I have ever seen in a game.
Oh, you aim at a zombie and it just points right at their head.
And if you and if you hold down on the analog stick, it goes to their chest.
And if you hold down on the analog stick, it goes to their legs.
And it essentially works the same way that it used to back in the day.
And I bet that's in there so that you can play it with your fucking classic camera.
And you don't have to think about the literally all you do is you would aim at an enemy
and then you would you could ballpark from the view.
Yeah, where? What part you're aiming?
Yeah, yeah, OK.
And that's all that we would take.
And if that's in there and all of this other shit, that's like five games, man.
Well, here's the other part.
When you go through the effort of making all of this anyway,
and like it seems trivial to add a basic like put the camera here,
put these limitations on your controller.
Now you've got a new mode.
So it seems trivial to add that.
So you would think.
But the classic camera stuff is a lot more work than you would expect
because it becomes it becomes about directing.
So take, for example, what's the best example?
The first liquor scene in Resident Evil 2 in the original.
You see the liquor run by the window, right?
You go, oh, scary.
You go through the door and then the next shot from your fixed perspective
is an upper view of something looking in the window at you at the doorway.
And you're like, oh, and that that camera angle never repeats.
It's only there to make you look like you're being watched.
You then run forward and you see that there's a corpse and there's an L.
But you can't see what's on the other side of the L.
You examine it.
You hear dripping.
You walk forward.
You see blood coming from the ceiling, but you can't see what's on the.
Like it becomes the scene is directed.
Yeah, it becomes about directed.
There's a lot to direct.
And since so many of the areas are different, you can't just use the old.
Camera angles, you also have to work in the fact it's like you have to be able
to see your character and you have to be able to see enemies.
OK, regardless of the directorial choice that you made.
So it's from a technical perspective.
No, I don't see it being a lot of work from a design perspective.
Yeah, I would totally be a lot of work, but I hope they did it to put it in there.
OK, now what isms made your inner fucking little nostalgia baby go?
The only.
There's only two.
One is I know that the game right after the demo, the game will open up
and allow you to explore the RPD more freely.
I'm not a big fan of how scripted the first hour of that game is going to be
where you have to go through the right side of the RPD, then you have to go
through the left side of the RPD, you know, now, granted, it used to be more open
than that used to be able to just pick any unlocked or cap, right?
Now, granted, it the the the path that they chose
mimics the best way to do it in the old game.
And there are tons of locks and things that you can't unlock.
So you will have to backtrack, but it's a it's a little linear.
And I don't particularly care for it.
The other thing and here's a really fucking nitpicky thing
that I think they're actually going to change is that the way that you walk
into the RPD in this version of the game is a way that neither of them walked in
like they just walk in through the front door through the front gate.
And in scenario A, you actually got in through a side entrance
and then came under this weird alley and then exited out to loop around to the front door.
And then the other character comes in through the back, through the parking lot.
There's a hold on.
There's a reason why this matters.
And the reason why it matters is because the creepy little alley that you used
to run through is where you encountered an Easter egg character that would unlock
your costumes. And if he's not there, then that's a bummer.
So I actually know the area you're talking about based on Umbrella Chronicles.
Yeah. So yes. Right.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
The truest experience for Resident Evil fans. Pure.
Pure. You know, that game had a fucking tofu mode
where you could replace everybody with tofu. That's fucking great, isn't it?
Brilliant. But yeah, I know this game looks hot and there's probably
it feels like Capcom knows it's a slam dunk.
So they're they're confident in keeping a bunch of features hidden
until release, which I always think is really cool.
Yeah. And also they they know what this is.
Yeah. It's RE2.
Like they know it's dog game.
They get it. You get to do this once.
It's also probably like to all be able to tell you the day
that game comes out, I'll be able to tell you if remake threes in production.
Right. Because.
Because you know how you enter in from the front in the current stuff.
That's where Jill comes in through RE3.
And it's like, did they model the area from RE3 outside the door?
Because if they did, they're going to make.
Right. Right. Right.
Because why else change it so that you'd walk in the front door?
Yeah. No, this is their FF7.
Like they they get it.
Well, actually, Capcom's FF7 is like Street Fighter 2.
Yeah. You know, boy, they they spent their time remaking that a dozen times.
You they could, you know, they could still make a game called Street Fighter 2
and just make it like they did HD remakes.
And then they still put out Super Street Fighter 2 Turbo, the final challengers.
Yeah. And then they could still do it again.
But they could. But what I mean is like new stages, 3D model, like just take.
Yeah, they could just do it.
Just make a thing and call it Street Fighter 2. Yeah, they could.
Yeah. Yeah. My final thought is like, I see no reason not to just get really,
really, really excited for this game being everything that everyone expects it to be.
Which I think is about as high praise as you could say.
Game is going to be good.
I wonder what happens if we fast forward a couple of years
and we have an RE3 remake and then we're on the cusp of a four.
No, then you'd be then you would be on the cusp of a remake,
which they have already talked about.
Three make. No, of re remake of the remaking the first game again.
Oh, why?
Because because this game is so different from that.
That it would be a different game.
But that was good.
It was. And so is RE2.
Would you actually want?
Think about this for a second.
We are now so like a dream.
We are now so much.
We are like twice, if not three times as far from the original remake
as it was from very first.
Yeah, that first one.
So but here's my question is having played a fun and good remake of RE1.
Do you actually want or need this in your life?
No, I would prefer if they kept going with some of the weirder games
that were not good the first time to make them good, like Code Veronica.
Yeah, OK, right. Yeah, or zero.
Fix the shit that needs fixing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
But what so you want to know what I really, really want?
I want them to do to and for it to blow up.
I want them to do three and I wanted to blow up
and then I want them to do eight in this exact style.
Because this style is the best of all worlds
in terms of the tone and mechanics of the older games,
but the control and the look of the later games.
See, the problem is that four carries a weight and a gravity with it.
That don't don't don't don't do this to four.
Four is great. Four is perfect.
Don't do it.
That would be baffling.
What would they even change?
What do I know? Yeah.
That's pretty much it for me. OK, OK.
Oh, also, Raccoon City is Montreal.
Did you see that? No.
Wait, yes. Did you see that?
Yeah, but what's that screenshot from?
That screenshot is from the lookout point infested with raccoons.
That's crazy. That's crazy.
That's literally a screenshot of Montreal.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's interesting.
But it's the it's the lookout point infested with raccoons, man.
But why raccoons?
I know, I know, I know.
That's an inside one for people who don't know, who don't who live here,
where that point that they're standing at to see that view
is the place where the literal raccoons are all around your feet.
And they don't hungry and they don't care.
But but what I mean is is like,
is there any part of this production
that is related to the city in any way, no, form?
Then why would they just grab?
They just grabbed a skyline from one of the one of the team's vacation photos.
And it happened to be here.
And the wildest thing about that skyline by far is that
if raccoon city is Montreal,
if you look at the title screen of Resident Evil 2,
the fucking you can see the building
that had the grocery store I used to work in.
Oh, no, Willie. Oh, God.
Why did you do that?
Go ahead.
But one of those skyscrapers had the grocery store that I used to work in.
You can literally see so I can literally see that cursed old grocery store
in raccoon city. I hope they all got eaten.
Yeah, that's no that is Montreal.
It has never felt more in my life
that something that was obviously not made for me
is being actually literally made made around you.
This like that part makes it feel like fate,
like they know, but they can't know, right?
That'd be ridiculous.
That'd be silly.
Just wait, wait for the third game to have the room that is your house.
At which point that gets really uncomfortable and strange.
But hey, yeah.
Yeah, how'd they get that information?
That's, you know what?
Yeah. OK, that's fine.
That's it for me.
What do you what do you do with your number one fan?
Well, for one thing,
I finally got around to watching Into the Spider-Verse.
Yeah. And that's a great film.
What a good movie.
What is what is this tone?
It was really it's the tone of like
this is one of those things that would have been straight to DVD
that people would be talking about going like, oh, man,
you got to go watch this animated movie or exactly, except they just said,
fuck it, let's throw it in the theater.
And then they threw a ton of money behind it.
And it was a good job.
And they did a good job.
And that was the right move to make.
But I just I really I feel like this is something that would have been
ignored and forgotten.
And otherwise just like, oh, yeah,
alone, the DVD to your friend, the Blu-ray to your friend sometime.
You know, the animation is so expensive.
Like, I don't think you would have seen a version of this,
but it wouldn't look the same.
It's super expensive, yet it's not 60 frames per second.
No, it's very intentionally not.
Yeah.
Kind of like a CG anime as well, where you're like,
but just render more frames, though, just render more.
It's crazy expensive.
Now do you see what I was talking about where the the backstory
moments are the absolute best parts of that movie?
Yeah. And and and into the spider verse does
what like the man, the fact that I looked at that premise and went,
oh, that's the most comic bookiest thing ever.
And we're finally we're definitely ready for that
because we've seen enough comic book movies.
But this is unapologetic about I can tell just by this on the trailer.
It's unapologetic about being nonsense.
Some goopy every possible way fucking comic book shit happens.
Yeah, it is.
It is. It does not give a fuck about being complete nonsense at times.
And it's perfectly fine.
And you're supposed to feel like you're watching
the Incredibles or something like a like a cartoon
that you're you're fucking into.
You know what I mean?
Like you're not trying to make these leaps and logic about
like how that machine works or how expensive it was a big science machine.
Shut up or like what what Wilson Fisk's skeleton looks like.
Like who carries very much don't think of that.
I love how it's exaggerated.
He looks it's fantastic cartooning.
And it looks like a Looney Tunes character for years.
I've been fucking whining like a baby.
Yeah, for Miles Morales to get some love.
And he's getting a bunch of love lately boy to see.
Well, but it's all but like in I mean, in the PS4 game,
it was like side, side love, side love.
This is main love, big love.
And it was like super direct and super fun.
And it was really, really nice because
after going like I went to go see it with Steph and after I had
talked about this character for so long after
literally was like after every Spider-Man appearance on the big theater
on the big screen over the last like decade, I'd be like, OK,
so here's what this character is.
Where's Miles, though? OK.
And there's did you see Donald Glover? Right.
So he plays he they thought he was going to be, you know,
and then you do the whole thing and you walk through the whole deal.
And it's like, OK, cool.
And then now like you get to just sit back and watch and go, oh, fuck.
Yeah. Now I see what you're talking about.
He's cool.
And he fits into the good young clone
new version group, as opposed to the shitty fucking garbage ones.
Yeah.
I love him and him and X-23, him and Laura are like, yeah, they escaped.
Yeah, the clone ghetto.
You guys are great.
You guys are great.
You're doing it. You're the new kids.
We love you. Yeah.
You know, and then everyone else is fuck.
Yeah, the clone ghetto is awful.
Riddled with there's a lot of Spider-Man in there.
Riddled with daikens and fucking just awful trash.
You know, but how many Wolverines are in that?
Yeah, at least one.
Yeah.
But they got away and multiple writers over the years
helped make them fucking work.
I think Spider versus Uncle Ben.
Twice, actually.
Yeah, Miles gets to Uncle Ben's essentially are the best.
So, yeah, I guess I mean, this isn't going to be this isn't a spoiler cast,
but it is definitely a
this is an acknowledgement that like you can throw these movies up in the theaters
and they're not going to disrupt anything.
People will go see them.
People will understand and or if the movie itself
takes the comic bookness of it like as lightly as the audience wants to,
then it's going to work out great.
Yeah, the movie glosses the fuck over
the origin story in the most hand wavy way possible.
Yeah, I got bit by a spider anyway, because nobody like at this
like Homecoming already did that.
Right. And like at this point, that origin and Batman's
are the number one most tired.
It reminds me, we were talking about a fucking
God, what was it, Batman v Superman?
Yeah. And so like, do we really need to see Martha Wayne get shot again?
It really do again.
I might have seen that 15 fucking times now.
It's the most tired it's ever been.
And with Spider-Man, it's also it's like
Uncle Ben in fucking specifically in Spider-Man one, the rainy one.
That's as good as it's ever going to get.
That like that is like hopelessly tragic.
And I have the little fight beforehand.
Yeah, that feels like a really real fight that I probably had with my dad at one
point and it's like, oh, God, damn it.
Awkward feel bad.
But so don't try and do it again and then mess it up.
There's a side there's a side aspect to it, too, that I am not.
I didn't realize that it was an issue until we got to this point.
But over the years, there were there were there used to be the three, right?
You don't bring back Uncle Ben.
You don't bring back Bucky.
You don't bring back when Stacy.
Yeah. Well, right. Well, right.
Now, the thing about the three as well was the fact that
and then of course, there's Martha Wayne and such, you know,
there's there's there's the fucking the Waynes.
But the thing about all these dead origin story
like relatives and people is that they were like because they were the catalyst
for the most popular heroes, they became like idolized
Christ like boss like figures, you know, in a way that
diminishes from similar things happening to other people.
Yeah. So when then you when you find out about the fucking like Tim Drake
and the shittiest things that happened with his family, you're like, OK, well,
yeah, that sucks, I guess.
But it's not fucking the Wayne family or the Grayson's.
Yeah, you know.
And and and like, you don't get any of that stuff exactly, right?
So you so there's a buildup that happens over time where you're like
this tragedy is so far beyond other people's tragedies,
which you shouldn't do because it takes it away from when they screwed up
all that shit with Gwen Stacy 10 different ways back with the fucking
the fucking clones and the kids and so when you get Mormons.
But when you get into into spider into the spider verse where
it's like, hey, we all had that.
We had that moment.
And it's like, yeah, for me, it was that for this is with that.
But that but you know, and you're like, they don't go into Noir's
because Noir's is too dark to show in that movie.
Yeah, they just kind of they play up his darkness.
But Noir, Noir, the funny part about Noir is like, I was laughing because I was
like, oh, this is a hilarious take on this character, because anyone who goes
and grabs that comic is going to go, yeah.
Like for context, Noir's Uncle Ben is like cannibalized by the vulture
and like his torso is ripped open and all his organs get eaten like it's vicious.
Like they play that up for the punch line.
But any but when you go back and read Noir, it's brutal.
Yeah. So anyway, all that to say that like I like keeping these tragedies
like sort of localized and understandable.
And when you you you can create the same emotion, but it doesn't build up
this fucking, you know, this this Peter's parents or you know what I mean?
It doesn't build up this insane thing where you're like these figures are Christ like
Peter's parents are the worst thing about those the amazing awful.
And there's a lot of abysmal shit in that movie.
Pretty awful.
But him deciding to care more about his parents than about the fact that
like he could have caused Uncle Ben to not to die screws that character up.
So obviously the flavor of the story through Miles being like more musical
and stylistic and whatnot and just fucking black is awesome.
And I love it.
And it's great.
I'm tired, man.
It's a choice.
And that's fun.
I enjoyed the the flavoring.
I enjoyed the man.
My cool uncle, so cool.
I enjoyed the the thought boxes and the way they played around with that stuff.
And what's super sick, too, is so like for there's a couple of people
that might know, but like Hello Danger or What's Up Danger,
the the main theme that plays when he's fucking having his moment is a song by
a group called Black Caviar and like the guy behind it was this.
He's a staffer at like the old opiate Anthony like days from on the radio.
And he's currently still working with them.
And it's a dude who's just working on the radio doing the shit in the background,
got the main song in this big movie that blew the fuck up and is now like killing it.
And it's really awesome to see that like, like, oh, my God,
that guy from fucking years of me listening to his voice in the background.
Choi Kwan fuck is getting his shit blown up.
And he's getting super popular now with this like awesome song
that kills it at the peak point of the movie, which is fucking great.
So have you seen a Twitter account called from Scripts to Screen?
No.
So what they do is they'll play clips of a movie and then have the script
scrolling underneath it.
And one of the things about Spider-Verse that I did not notice at the time,
but I guess it caused me to feel an emotion is when Miles takes his big jump
as Spider-Man, yeah, the camera inverts, yeah, because he's rising.
And that's in the script.
It's like the camera's inverted so he's falling, but to the viewer, he is rising
and like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's so good.
I didn't notice it.
What's it called from Scripts to Screen?
Yeah, OK, because the script definitely writes things in that you're
supposed to just notice, but you might not.
Yeah, fantastic.
That's fucking good.
That's fucking good.
Strong.
C'est fort, sir.
Yeah, so that's great, of course.
And not to mention, too, that like they do a good job as well, establishing
like a lot in very little time with I mean, like, yeah.
So like you look at him and like, oh, yeah, that's his dad.
His dad's the copy's black guy, whatever.
His mom's speaking Spanish most of the time.
Yep, she has less English lines in English total.
So you're establishing that part of it as well.
Yeah.
Gwen's in and like doing her thing and like.
Yeah, I guess it's just like the one question I had was like, where's
Miguel and yes, you just kind of get like you get answers to everything
you're looking for.
You get an answer to that question and it's way better than I thought it was going to be.
So, so good job, Sony.
Good job on creating a world here where you can
fucking just revisit and do whatever you want outside of MCU stuff, if you want.
And be as comic booky as you want.
You know, you know what I really liked about that movie?
It's OK, this is a very protagonist centered film character wise because you
have one big protagonist and then five other side protagonists.
But there are just as many villains who get zero play into who cares what
Scorpion's deal is.
Tombstone does three things, right?
Like Goblin is there and the only reason you'd know was Goblin other
than big monster is because Spidey calls him Norman once.
He calls him Norman.
Yeah, yeah, right?
Like who cares?
It's not about them.
Yeah, and well, I mean, fucking.
Well, yeah, there's the doc gets one.
The ones that get the ones that get play are like the ones that should get play.
So it's it's fine.
Fucking excuse me, excellent.
And yeah, I would love I would love to see these otherwise straight to DVD type
situations happen theatrically.
They are talking about doing a TV show.
We brought it up last week.
Exactly. So that'd be fun.
There'd be a lot of places to go.
The credits shows you a lot of little nods and jokes and a lot of references.
Also, they got every meme in.
They got every single meme.
They got the one that really mattered in.
Well, what depends the desk or the dot or the point?
They got they got that didn't they get both?
They got both.
Yeah, I'm like they got both because the point is the harder one to do.
But they got the desk in really early so fast that a lot of people probably didn't even notice.
It was very but then it's clean.
It's clearly happening.
Yeah, so, dude, I love that we live in the world now that all these people
that are making these things are like, man, you remember that?
Stupid. Yeah, it was so dumb.
They're hyper aware because they're literally just our age.
But now they're working on that shit instead, you know, like exactly.
Fucking great, man.
I would love to see this as well with other things that are not Spiderman.
If you wanted to go tell any any good run on a call.
I mean, this is original, but like any good run on any comic
that's like worth telling in its own isolated way could make for an interesting
animated standalone feature, you know, and I like that this proves that.
So fuck, yeah, it's into the spider verse.
Can we get an end of the spider verse again?
But it's a it's five new different completely different.
I can think of a couple that I would really I'd love to see Japanese Spiderman.
Ben Riley.
Come on, Spiderman.
Come on, fucking the spiders.
Sure. Spiders, man.
Spiders, man. Spiders, man.
Oh, man, you can do that.
You can absolutely do that pain in the ass he'd be to animate.
You could fucking Leopard on.
Yeah, go go full on full on Supaidamon.
Yeah, you can get in the area of hell, man.
You know, you could get and fucking throw in spider
cider doppelganger just for the fuck of it, you know, sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Uh, Aunt May was great.
Yeah, I appreciated that Aunt May.
That was a fun one.
They have a one line throw away that implies a huge back story
that they never go into.
Did you catch that?
That she says, yeah.
So this is the minorest of spoilers.
But Doc Ock says my enemies call me Doc Ock.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then when they bust in the house after a big fight, she goes, hey, live.
Yes, absolutely.
And I'm like, wait, what is that mean?
Yeah, what was going on here before this story started?
Totally, totally, totally.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, that was great.
What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
True, true, true, true.
So that happened.
Also, I played a little couple of things this weekend, streamed a couple of things.
And one of them was Icaruga.
I saw or should I say Icaruga?
Did you beat Icaruga?
I beat Icaruga.
Good for you.
That's tough.
Well, I did.
It was illegitimate.
What do you mean it was illegitimate?
I use continues.
Oh, fuck off.
Did you beat it?
Yeah. Yeah, you beat it.
Yeah, good.
OK.
But that's all that matters.
But that but the real purpose was to share the lore.
Oh, man, because I really wanted because it's a beautiful game
and it's been re-released for so long, but I really wanted to get into the lore
and explain part of what's happening with the Buddhist themes in the game
alongside the, you know, the basic sci-fi themes.
And yeah, if you want to check out a little like Icaruga lore one out one
I popped a video or a solidist popped a video up of the highlights.
But like that game has like actual
it has multiplicative themes of Buddhism reincarnation
and in general, the path to enlightenment.
OK, or what I feel are what the game is actually about with it,
which is, hey, shoot the opposite color.
Yes. And and sometimes you got to act.
Sometimes you got to be sometimes you got to be black.
Sometimes you got to be white.
That reminds me of one last thing I want to talk about before we go to news.
The black bullets only hit you when you're white.
The white bullets only hit you when you're black.
Otherwise, they make you more powerful.
So the same color makes you stronger, powerful and destroy the other color.
That's exactly right.
But then the other color when you destroy it will fight back against you.
With its own explosion.
It's yin and yang.
Sure, it is.
And yeah.
And then the I mean, and then inside of that, like there's actual again,
there's literally a story with characters that do things and stuff.
So that's always fun to explore.
Shmooping is just the hardest shit, but it's so fun and so rewarding.
It's just so bad.
But it's the rawest form of video game, you know, outside of like platforming.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
It's so raw inside of irritating stick.
Irritating stick is the truth.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's it's it's just a pure experience.
And in that and that shmup in particular, because it has no power ups.
You're not really collecting.
Like I'm not a big shmup guy, but Icaruga is the the one.
That's the throne.
Yeah, it's the. Yeah, it's the throne.
And right now.
There there's a contender to the throne that I'm being told about.
And I've started it, but I haven't beaten it yet.
And that game is zero ranger.
OK, I'm being told that zero ranger is a contender to the throne.
I'm sure, like, OK, it's not an absurd claim
because I don't know anything about zero ranger.
But whenever people say that, I go, hmm,
well, like whatever it happens to be when somebody goes, you know,
this game is even better than RE4.
I couldn't you just say it was really good?
And then I would have made that distinction on my own later.
I'm starting to get an inkling as to why, but I'm not fully there yet.
But it seems like the reasons why is because it's a celebration of all shmups.
OK, right. OK, I got that.
And there's another awesome game being worked on called Devil Engine
that's really rad that needs you guys show some love to that, too.
But as far as until until I know for certain, until I can confirm it,
Icaruga has and is the throne.
Yeah.
And then, of course, you know, you can go you can go back to Radiant Silver
Gun as well, but it's consistent with whatever one's ever told me.
It's fucking treasure. And it's just it's like the fact
that every time it gets ported and it always gets ported to every generation.
Everybody goes, yeah.
One, it's all it's a guaranteed port to you don't need to touch it
because visually it holds up forever.
Yeah, maybe maybe up its resolution or something.
But yeah, other than that, everything still looks as great as it ever did.
Music is still like you don't need to rearrange anything.
Nothing changes come out in 2001. OK, that's fine.
That was one we got to the good part of 3D graphics.
It was fantastic.
So I had a really great time getting getting back into that
and kind of kicked off a little, a little, you know,
schmup vibe where afterwards I went on my own and was playing
through some Gradius and Gradius. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. And yep.
Yep. I remember playing that a long time ago and like crawling to progress.
Yeah. And crawling and crawling until you you really just memorize.
OK, this is this. I need this option.
Yeah. And I need or you need like and the thing about Gradius
is that you have to mash to like keep your consistent shot rate up
because if you hold the button, you're shooting at a lower rate.
So like your hands are really butchered by the end of that.
So I decided to because I was using the NES switch.
What you call it library and I decided to like, you know what?
Let's just fuck it with it.
And let's just use a save state and just go as hard as we can.
Uh-huh. And then I went all the way through with a save state.
Uh-huh. And I realized something about Gradius that I didn't know
was that when you don't die, the game amps its difficulty up.
It had an adaptive difficulty back then way back where like literally
it lightens up on you every time you die and restart an area your quarters.
But if you keep going without dying,
more bullets, more frequently faster, I mean that there's a potential for like
the best way to get through the game is to die here and then die here
and spend a dollar twenty five instead of like, Christ,
to sit to the strategically placed deaths there.
But I don't know if you caught any of the speed runs over a GDQ
over the past week, but like the level of goofy bullshit
that goes into certain speed runs to cheese shit out blows my mind.
Once we got to the level of pausing and getting a fucking random
code injected into the level at based on when and how you pause the game.
Like, I'm like, all right, we're just to me,
the funniest thing is like, we're going to be playing this game in Italian
because this one cut scene loads four seconds faster in Italian.
So we're going to play the whole speed run in Italian.
OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, that that level, that level, absolutely.
And like, again, like there's times when people
like they make comments like,
like, oh, this game wasn't QA or like, man, the QA team sucks shit
if they didn't catch the fact that Italian had this load.
Like really, really like you you have no,
especially when a database if you could see a screenshot of a database
by the end of a project where you're like, you don't understand.
It's not that we could not find this one bug.
It's that we were finding so many that we did not even get to this one.
Prioritized, you know what I mean?
But yeah, if you want a really fun time in terms of speed runs,
this has nothing to do with AGDQ, just piqued my interest.
Go check out a Skyrim speedrun, the world record.
It's like 20 minutes.
It's one of the funniest things like falling out of the world makes me giggle.
OK, because the way that you're able to get those times in Skyrim
is by a bug called horse tilting, where you grab a horse.
I love these terms. You grab a horse.
Yeah, no, that's always the most fun.
It's like we're going to use a bug called shot clocking or whatever.
But you get a horse and you put the horse on an incline
because the horse's boots are magnet magnetized to certain surfaces.
So you aim the horse of the horse is staring straight down
and you clip like the horse's face into the world.
Then you dismount.
This will launch you at about a thousand miles a second.
Then you then you load a save game
went like immediately because in for some reason in Skyrim,
your velocity is consistent overloads.
Oh, so you so you load the save game
and you are just slingshotting yourself as hard as possible across the map.
It's hilarious. Oh my God.
It's it's one of the funniest things ever.
Holy, and you just do that a dozen times to get to every location
that you need to get. That's art.
That is just art, man.
It's it's the best.
Dude, fuck.
Um, well, anyway, I decided to compete with a G.D.Q.
Did yeah, by streaming a Ahegawa Academy.
Yeah, I did something similar.
I was like, why are my views down?
Oh, because I'm competing.
It's the biggest show of the year.
Well, then smart.
Yeah, smart.
Hey, schedules, you know, you make one, you stick to it.
And and so, yeah, we we streamed the the best friends dating sim.
I see. And that was a good time.
Or rather, I saw.
Yeah, there you go.
That was a good time.
Staff played, actually, and that makes more sense.
Ultimately, yeah, we get a little too incestuous otherwise, you know, got a little.
Yeah. But hey, you know what, man?
Like they did it.
Like the jokes landed.
They they fucking I was like, yeah, OK, no, this is legit.
Like this is actually pretty funny.
And like a lot.
There are more than a couple moments where like art imitates life
where like they made a punchline and it's like, oh, fuck, that's real.
That happens, you know, or something occurs where I'm I roll my eyes super hard.
And it's like, oh, no, the game also just rolled its eyes.
And like it's totally in there.
So they know they know us better.
I exactly.
I feel I feel like I'm being read.
I feel like I'm being downloaded.
Oh, you're not actually a complex human being.
You're actually a much simpler person than you think you are.
And that feeling sucks.
Yeah. What are you going to?
I mean, look, literally being downloaded through this MP3 file.
But the fact that it worked out in that way and it was just it was really fun.
And we're going back in for sure.
And yeah, just in shoutouts to just all these little all these little
in jokes at nods, posters in the background, tons of little
there's so much to catch, you know,
a bunch of little discord cameos and stuff.
So yeah, man.
Ahegawa Academy do it.
We couldn't be in Asegawa Academy.
So they made that would make any sense.
They made their own for us.
And it's cool.
I'm glad it's fun.
There's also jokes that I don't get from LPs.
They might not be yours. Exactly.
And stuff. Is there one in particular that jumps out at you?
Is like, yes. What is that?
So there is this alien snail girl
got a green thing with an afro
and named like let Tisha Noid
and apparently just speaks in the most
racist ass old school mammy accent.
OK. And apparently it's a nod to Deus Ex.
It has to be from LaTisha. LaTisha has to be.
I don't remember. Well, well, no, I mean, you remember that character, right?
No, OK. It's that character.
LaTisha is the the black lady looking for hot dogs
in the trash that you ask for advice. OK, right?
When you walk out of the station and she she is like a hilarious
black racist caricature. OK, her voice is like, she cap it.
It's like it might as well.
It was it's outrageous. Bad.
So I guess we made a joke about how she's like a space alien or something like that.
But either way.
And so they were just like like it came up and then like
it's like we're just looking at the line like, yo, who's going to read that?
You know what? Well, you know, I guess it has to be me.
That's probably my fault.
So I'll take that. I'll take that one on.
Woof, you know, woof, woof, bow, wow, wow, yippee, yo, yippee, yay.
But hey.
And then a couple of the things where it's just like a fucking
the main character from Disaster, Dave crisis popped up really.
And I was like, oh, look, it's gladiolas, right?
Oh, yeah, you kind of yeah.
And like just whoop right overhead.
So I'm like, you know what?
That's fine.
When we hit a bunch of jokes about Paragon, Paragon, Paragon.
Yeah, I'm not supposed to get your brain off on that one.
I'm not supposed to get those.
And if fluvial grime and such, that's OK.
That's OK.
Um, so, yeah, that was that was basically me before we tag out.
I do want to mention one last thing, but it's from a design perspective.
Yeah. So the FF 14 patch came out and there's this new story element.
And because what happened was is that the villains are the empire of the Garleans,
right, the expansionist Roman style empire.
The problem is in the early game back in 2.0 and all that,
they gave a character this amazing speech about why he thinks the
empire is in the right to be expansionist.
And the problem is, is the lot of what he says is dead on and accurate
and smarter than the characters in your party.
And it caused a lot of the player base to go, you know, these these
Garleans ain't so bad, you know, and like it was this long, ongoing problem
that the primary enemy force in the game is one that tons of people sympathize with.
That's a weird problem to have in your final fantasy game,
because they're an evil empire, right?
That's awesome.
And that is the best kind of villain, right?
But that villain later becomes a hero on your team.
And they're OK.
So now everyone on the team is is evil.
All right. How do we make them?
Oh, people still like them because they're too cool.
Yeah. Right.
They all have really cool design.
OK, how do we make people not like them?
Let's let's add a bunch of demons to their team.
Yeah, didn't work.
OK, let's evil human experiments.
Oh, but the things that came out of those were cool.
Didn't work.
Zeon, snazzy dressers, man.
So this patch, they finally did it in the most blunt way possible.
Oh, do they feast on babies?
No, we have a conversation with the leader of the enemy faction,
and he's charismatic and he's smart and he's cool.
And I'm already feeling like, oh, man, they super screwed this up.
They said the next expansion is about taking it to the empire.
What the fuck are they going to do?
And the guys like, you know, why we're fighting those war
to make sure that there's one pure race, the ultimate race.
There you go. This is a race war.
There you go.
And everyone at the table goes, what?
Yeah, OK.
And it's like we had to go to the had to go to race war.
Yeah, because now your cool charismatic perfectionism is.
Oh, oh, that's because you see yourself as and he's like getting off
in his pantaloons when he's he's like, oh, no, it'll be great.
Yeah, we won't have all the weaknesses of them.
And it's like, all right, yeah, all right.
So the race war started years ago.
Yeah, but you only found out about it now.
Yeah, OK, got it.
And it's like, oh, OK, it was a hidden race war.
Cool. And it's like, it's I remember I was playing the patch on stream
and everyone in my chat was getting, oh, the part is coming.
And I'm like, why is everyone getting so excited?
We're just saying, oh, oh, so they fixed it.
Yeah, they fixed it. Good job.
So now they got to go. Yeah. Now they got to go.
I mean, so like, you know, we like the the conversation has been had many times.
But the best villains are those whose motivations are hard to argue with.
That's the villain you want.
The one whose side is actually pretty convincing,
but it's still going through with it because to them, that's the best part about that.
Shoutouts to Steel Ball.
Is the fake reason the fake reason that the villain gives you before the real one
is really good. OK.
And it's literally we used to live in these countries.
And two, three hundred years ago, you guys invaded us and kicked us out
because we were a weak nation. Now we're a strong military nation.
So we're taking it back.
Yeah, in your lifetime, it was always your land.
Yeah. But you took it from us like one hundred and fifty two hundred years ago.
So fuck off. Exactly. Exactly.
And you're like and like every one of the table has a legitimately difficult time
arguing that point. Yeah.
Because the only thing that's different is the time scales. Yeah.
And then you go, but what really though?
And he goes, OK, listen.
So I love that and.
It to fight like I just to display how much I love that as a point.
I'm going to like like later this week, I'm going to be putting out
another one. We will figure it out where we talk about like literally
an old comic idea that I had that basically works.
Oh, that one. Yeah.
Premise. Yeah. Totally. I guess.
Because I am so in love with that moment of
like like protagonist raises a finger and goes.
I'm still going to fight you.
I'm still going to fight you, but but I'm going to stop arguing.
This is a lot simpler if I can just punch you.
Yeah, you know, and bad guys like do what you got to do.
My point of view, the Jedi are evil.
Oh, God. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Fantastic.
OK.
The news.
That's not even close to that's not what I don't want to do now.
The news.
This week is the fall of 76 stuff in there.
Oh, oh, it sure is.
And that's exactly where we're going.
It's but you should tell people what you're streaming this week.
Hey, you know what I'm going to stream this week?
Stuff.
Well, OK, on Friday, I'll stream Ace Combat 7
because that's coming out because Ace Combat's the shit.
And we're going back to the strange, real nonsense timeline
with the Balkans and all that shit that'll be on Friday.
The rest of the week right now, I don't know, I might stream remake,
but I'll honestly probably just end up streaming like three, four days
in New Vegas because I love it so much.
And that's over at twitch.tv slash angry's pet.
I usually start at 8 p.m. Eastern and check me out there.
What about you, Wolves? What's versus you versus
Catamari Dameshi reroll with Billy, with Min versus
Zone of the Enders, Mars Zone of the Enders, too.
Zone of the Enders, the second runner, so it's not called to is.
It's not actually called to, you know, is Zoe won the easiest game
to skip in a franchise as the first one ever as someone who skipped it?
I say yes. Yeah.
Specifically because I also made sure to load up the original PS2 disc
and watch that fucking previous story because there's a 10 minute summary
for people and that's all you need. And they know they're aware.
And you get a sample of what the gameplay is like in a later mission of Zoe,
too, when you're saving the people and doing it sucks.
And you're like, Oh, do you want more of that?
It's the shittiest mission in the game.
Debatable. There's another really unfun escort mission in the right,
really, in the early in the beginning. Left.
Now, hold on.
There, move forward.
Stop. Right.
No, I'm talking about fucking dragging what's his face around.
Oh, yeah. And in the in the in the in the factory.
When you find Otacon and then you got to grab him and fucking
and drop him on the ground and take out every the raptors
and then pick him back up and fly through the factory. Yeah.
Yeah. So I really need to play through Mars
because apparently the the fight now just runs locked the whole time.
And it's like, I don't even know.
I that's like, I'm thinking that's probably super hard now because
I'm going to I'm going to fucking pop on some VR goggles
to try that shit out to see where that goes.
So yeah, that's happening right now.
Wait, no, Katamari with Reggie.
Sorry, Zoe, you're getting you're getting people confused.
Zoe with men and Jojo's Bizarre Adventure,
the seventh stand user has commenced with Volta base.
What is that on?
It is a PC RPG maker game from 2014 in the style of Pokemon.
All right. And it is the best Jojo game.
That makes sense. Yeah.
It is apparently the best Jojo game fucking Star Platinum.
I might choose you get out there. I mean, hey, that's yeah.
OK, that makes perfect sense.
And and you are the seventh stand user.
So yeah, that's happening over on on Willy versus alongside.
Well, you'll figure it out.
And on Tuesday, I'm going to be doing the preliminary.
Like if everything goes correct, preliminary fight night.
Not finished with like full production intros and cool stuff.
But yeah, I think we can do a little fight night thing happening on Tuesday.
And they're going to be the day six beta.
Oh, that's coming out, isn't it?
I don't know. It's out. Oh, yeah.
I think it might be when I don't know.
I don't know. I'll decide.
Let me see if that's even possible.
I will decide.
But there's it might might or might not be.
We'll see.
And then Saturday is going to be some more
other video games. So we'll see.
Yeah. But that's happening. Cool.
So step one.
Leave a developer room in your game.
And accessible and let and then let put it somewhere on the map.
Step two, like physically on the map.
It's not a code that you teleport.
You just walk to it
or get there via like in game means without injecting things.
Step two, leave all the items and developer powers in that room accessible,
allowing you to find and use whatever you need, having a lineup of power
suits, lineup of items, lineup of food, lineup of guns, unreleased item,
literally everything planned for the video game.
Step three, ban people that have been to that room.
And then say you'll unban them if you tell them how you got in.
And step four, leave them banned if they don't provide sufficient explanation
as to how and why they got there.
So the fact that Bethesda can't figure out
exactly how people are getting into that dev room is the funniest thing in the world to me.
Because it's either a guy teleported me in.
OK, what guy was it, right?
Or I walked through this wall for an hour and I just clipped me through.
Fallout 76 has a dev room that has an actual NPC and a bunch of everything.
A cousin of yours named Wooby, and you can go grab it.
You just got to walk in and grab it, but they're not too happy about that.
There are unreleased cash shop items in that dev room that you can just leave with.
Yeah, I don't understand the mechanics
of how the dev room is has the items lying around that you can take.
Like that, that's the part that blows me away.
Well, because in testing, that's the kind of thing that simplifies QA massively.
But wouldn't that not be in the game's map?
Wouldn't that be a separate load?
So different devs have different habits for how they do this.
A lot of the time, yeah, the smart thing to do would be have a menu that you don't access.
That's a fake thing or a completely basically what amounts to a separate mode
or a separate place, and then you load in into the map with what you want.
Near Automata obviously had that little test room that you unlock yourself even.
But yeah, in this case, it's just a place on the map.
And that's a bad not for a big online experience.
Not a week goes by that I don't hear about Fallout 76.
Or Wooby. Wooby's life is infinite suffering
because he's the only NPC in Fallout 76, which is hilarious in its own right.
But he appears to be there for damage testing.
So it appears that he exists to die.
Yeah, very sad.
Um, I mean, again, you'd think dev only server or
because the thing is that like in a single player game, you can go,
oh, yeah, beat the game, get this thing, whatever repairs, whatever online multiplayer.
No, don't do that.
And also every every server, every map had like, like, take for example,
Final Fantasy 14 is an online game with a large map, right?
As all disconnected zones, but still it has a developer room that you can access.
There's a difference, though.
The way you access it is by being a toxic fuck and the GM places you in there
because it's actually a jail and people have figured out where it exists on the map.
It's like underneath a zone.
But there's nothing in it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because why would there be something still there?
I think it's time to officially start the clock that we can reset it.
Weeks. It's been X days.
Weeks without a Fallout 76 story.
Yeah, it's been because it's been at least a solid month, if not more.
I believe it's every single week since release.
Every single week for maybe Christmas week.
And make no mistake, right?
We are, I fully acknowledge that the hate train is rolling
and people are looking for things.
But there's so much to find.
But if it wasn't of note, it's like, why even bring it up?
But these have all been like things of like, God, really?
That bad?
Hey, we banned you write a letter telling us why mods are bad.
Hey, we banned you write us a letter telling us why we banned you.
Has anyone ever has anyone ever done anything like that
when it comes to like an online game in any way?
Yeah, Fallout 76 prior to this moment.
Oh, no.
Where never the banning was conditional upon apology letter.
Well, I was going to say a fucking appeal right on the board.
A hundred times, I will not use Russian hacks to clip into the dev room.
Man, yeah, they broke new ground, man.
I feel like that's probably because there's a way like they want to hear
from you that you just walked into this corner and then fell into it.
Yeah, what they don't want to hear is that.
Yeah, so I tore your game up and used a program that I invented
that I sell to people now to walk through walls in your game
and you can't figure it out.
Good job.
Yikers.
So my favorite part about this.
I was talking to some people about this and I'm taking it on their word.
So apologies if it's mistaken.
But the basic deal is that they are banning anybody who walks into the room.
Yes, and grabs items.
Right. The problem is that the people who are walking into the room
to grab items are doing so with accounts they made specifically
to walk into the room to grab items.
OK, they are then taking those items and selling them on eBay.
Well, of course, like, what else did you do not sell them?
But then they get to keep their real accounts that didn't do that.
And to their credit, apparently Bethesda is not banning people who buy those items.
Merely people who are managing to find their way into the room.
Right. Right.
But fucking still, man, like reset the clock.
Reset it.
That's new.
But hey, if you own Fallout 76 on Bethesda Launcher,
you can get Fallout one, two and tactics for free.
You know, those games are worth $12.
What I would love to hear, I'd love to hear that somebody writes in an explanation
and then they go, oh, OK, cool.
And they unbanned them.
And then that person pastes that on a forum somewhere.
And then it's like, hey, guys, just control fucking the this into an email.
And that's why wouldn't it work?
Right. And then everybody can just do that.
And then great. Now we have the canon explanation.
You haven't a hard time over there.
I haven't a hard time. OK.
I hit my lamp.
It's a weird, weird magnet.
It's a weird magnet light. It's OK on on coasters.
Yeah. It's there. I fixed it.
There you go. Smart.
Yeah. Just noticed you're watching the Outer Worlds trailer on this page.
Well, no, it's the end of the footage.
So that they threw it in.
It's really funny.
They threw it in at the end.
Oh, man.
Oh, man, that's really funny.
Can you explain why?
Because that's the game being made with a new engine by Obsidian.
OK. And it's being poised as the sequel to fall out New Vegas.
Yes. Right.
In space, the complete other game that we saw announced on the right.
And that's and every time fallout 76 comes up, people go,
yo, Outer Worlds, how about this game?
Yo, yeah, yeah.
So they exactly that's literally baked into the video.
That's hilarious. At the end.
Oh, man. Yeah.
Oh, anyway.
And they don't stop coming and stop coming and stop coming
and they don't that kind of run around.
Yeah. So, you know, no surprise, really.
But Hunk in Tofu.
Hunk in Tofu.
Tofu, I'm surprised.
Because because because giant 3D Tofu in this environment.
Tofu is like the weirdest they ever got ever.
Tofu is so fucking goofy.
Well, it was just a hit box, wasn't it?
I believe it is the testing hit box.
It was the testing hit box.
Then they just went, yeah, fuck it.
Make a make a mode out of it.
And I never beat the Tofu mode in the original
is able to because it's knife only knife only in the knife.
And that game is worthless.
So the only reason you use the knife is to tag enemies that they move.
What is Hunk in terms of the differences in gameplay?
Hunk's story is a like a battle challenge.
And it's like get from get from the bottom of the map
to the top of the RPD and they have just thrown a shit zillion enemies
in every room and he starts with a limited amount of ammo and health.
And that's all you get.
And it's literally get from point A to point B, dude, do it.
And it's insanely hard.
The most interesting thing about this trailer and not the trailer, rather,
but the screenshots they put out with the official announcement
is you see Hunk in Tofu on the street, which they were never able to do before.
So it's possible that their their missions
have been like much expanded. OK.
Or like random mode has character select.
Random mode will surely have character select,
but Hunk and Tofu would still have their own modes.
Data Miners found the label for the fourth survivor,
which is Hunk's thing. Tofu survivor, which is Tofu's thing.
And another mode called A to the Spy,
which is probably an Ada version of this kind of thing,
like separate ways in RE4.
Yeah, there's going to be so much in this fucking game content.
Dude, if they that goddamn randomizer is built in,
I'm going to play so much Resident Evil 2, man.
Very many times for the rest of your life.
Yeah, I mean, there's no real difference
between that and how it is now, because I replay it every year or two, maybe, but still.
So this was just a bit of a tag on to last year's last week's story,
but fun nonetheless.
The Bowser, Bowser, artist, creator,
the original creator of Bowser,
received a fucking trophy from Pixiv and Nico Nico
for outstanding achievement, despite Nintendo's best efforts.
You can't stop the creepy artists, Nintendo.
They'll give each other awards over it.
Yeah, I want to think that Nintendo was trying to intercept the mail.
It's too late.
Like, no, no,
Soften, everybody go flaccid.
No, I refuse.
Yeah.
Yeah, there's a picture posted of
a Hanawa that where there's the trophy
and then there's Bowser being like, oh, yeah,
and fucking Tonya in the background is super pissed off
because her moment is gone.
Her sign got fucking stolen.
Literally shine blocked and she'll never get it back.
Never.
And Bowser continues to be the champion of Japan.
And the world.
There you go.
Every game that doesn't feature
Bowsette is a coward game from now on.
From here on out, it's been established.
Yeah, the list of list of coward Nintendo games.
I want I want Bowsette to be that question
that Nintendo employees hate every time they get in front of a microphone.
You know, that.
Oh, so so even though they they they put in the Luigi joke
and they're basically ending it, fans won't let it happen.
No, you remember every time a Square Enix rep
got in front of a microphone for and fans could talk to them.
They'd be like, so you guys remaking FF seven.
Yeah, for like decades.
Yeah, I want it to be that.
Right. So every time Reggie gets anywhere, we're fans.
Oh, Bowsette, where's that, though?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And just get to see the look on their face.
It's like, hmm, actually, Japan's leading the charge on that one.
Anything there, they've taken like a ductal water on that shit.
So yeah, that would be hilarious and amazing
if this is not the end of the story.
And if Nintendo is assuredly forced to confront it again and again and again.
Until you guys couldn't make it happen for a lot while Luigi.
But let's see if we can get it going for Bowsette, though.
There is a legitimate concern where we're like because it's become so popular.
Now it's like, OK, but do you have to credit this guy?
Do you own it?
Obviously, you need to.
But you get you should credit them.
But you because it's it's character.
They own Bowser and they own.
Yeah, yeah.
But you know what I mean?
Like that's the problem.
If I was that guy, I wouldn't mind if they just put a little ball.
I doubt I doubt he does.
But regardless, it becomes a question of like if you it's the same thing.
When when when you go up to a creator and you go, I've got a great idea
for a story that is in your world.
And then they say, shut up.
Don't tell us because then we can't use it.
Exactly, because you get to sue them later if they do use it.
So it might be one of those concepts as well, where it's like, yeah,
that's cool, but guess what?
We can't use it because it's not.
I mean, we were planning a really hot Bowser game and now we can't.
You guys, you ruined it by creating it first.
Damn, I made that X-Men fighting game in my mind.
Children of the atom ripped off 10 year old Pat.
We've been over this.
Yeah, who else could have thought of an X-Men fighting game?
Who else could? No one.
Who else could have thought of Marvel versus Capcom to starring a pirate girl?
Yeah, that one's way more specific.
That one's really weird, genuinely.
Yeah.
And in Liam's case, Memento as well.
So that was a funny one.
Yeah, yeah.
But again, she was a buccaneer.
She wasn't a captain.
The legal, I just think.
Uh, OK.
Speaking of legal.
All right. Speaking of distinct.
Uh-huh.
We got a wild one.
All right. And we're going there.
It sounds like I don't know what you're talking about.
Oh, you know what we're talking about.
Oh, I know what you're talking about.
Oh, yeah. All right, let's see it.
The amount of preface I'm giving this should tell you.
OK. In what you need to know about it.
Uh-huh.
Randy.
Randy.
Randy.
Randy, what are you doing?
Randy, no.
Randy.
Stop.
No.
Randy.
Stop.
Randy, stop.
Sir.
Sir.
Sir, I think I found your USB stick.
Sir, I believe this block.
Sir, you need to stop watching that here in the medieval times.
Sir, you need to take this USB and leave.
Sir.
So let's preface this with a bit of trivia.
No.
Let's preface this with this is alleged and we don't know at all
whether or not this is true or confirmed because we are,
we are reading what people are reporting on.
Yeah.
We have no idea.
Lawsuit allegations, et cetera.
And we are in no way insinuating.
We got to talk around and careful because, you know, lawsuits.
But so the part I'm going to describe is not alleged because it's something
that Randy put on his Twitter completely opposite of this a few
weeks, uh, like over a month ago, I think.
Let's preface it.
Do you know what Randy Pitchford's game of the year for 2018 is?
No.
Sea of Thieves.
Why?
Yeah.
Okay.
Right.
I just thought that was funny.
So.
Right.
There is a lawsuit against Mr. Randy Pitchford, CEO of Gearbox and noted
possible thief, alleged possible thief of Sega dollars alleging that he also
stole $12 million of company money for himself.
Not that bad, not the worst part of the headline and that he also carries
around a personal USB stick filled with the underage, the child pornography.
Now when again, when you steal, when you allegedly steal $12 million and that
is not the worst part of the headline, there's only a couple of places you can
go after.
Oh man, this destructoid article is fucking.
I am subheader is hilarious.
I am deflating.
You read the title and then the subheader is strapping.
All right.
Um, so I've been keeping up on this.
I feel fairly confident that I can sum this up.
You please do because it's a long story.
The long and short of it is he's being sued by a former employee that he's a
that he's a thief and that he's a pedo.
These are allegations.
He's not being sued that he's being a pedo.
It's just one.
It's a it's like a one line thing in the document.
Right.
It's a little twist of the knife.
Um, except this stems from a incident in which Randy Pitchford left a USB key at
a medieval times, uh, that contain both sensitive corporate documents that
involved sequels and game design ideas as well as business shenanigans.
The usual documents.
You probably don't want people looking at as well as let's call it dubious
pornography.
Right.
Um, Randy then on December 22nd went on a podcast.
To explain what the nature of the dubious pornography was and that it wasn't under
age.
It was a video of a cam lady that he purchased from a barely 18 website in which he
described her as not an actress, but a magician over the amount of fluid she was able to
produce.
Okay.
I did not get this.
I told you I've been following it.
It's hilarious.
Shit.
Now this, this podcast that he was on was weeks ago, but nobody caught it until recently
and it goes into the spot of Randy.
You're in a lot of trouble with this kind of lawsuit.
Do you have a lawyer?
Cause your lawyer would tell you to shut your fucking mouth.
That's generally the first thing they tell you.
That's usually what a good lawyer says right away.
Not to go on a podcast and explain, no, no, she's not under age.
She just looks creepily young.
Hmm.
Um, that being said, the brunt of this is the theft allegation, which is not the first
or even second, I believe threat theft allegation that Randy has received.
You see, now I think the first place a lot of people went was to that old.
Hey guys.
Whoa.
How about this fucking?
Did you see this sub reddit with the fucking battle born porn?
And, and just recontextualized that in their brains a little bit.
Uh, I know that's what I did.
Randy's also been very active on Twitter.
Has he?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Putting out a spiel about how I would, this is the stew dubious accusations using, uh,
there's, there's a really bizarre phrase in one of his statements that describes that
the plaintiff is using lawyer language and lies to obfuscate the issue with lawyer language
to turn the public against him.
And the phrase lawyer language doesn't seem like the phrase that a PR person or a lawyer would say.
Yeah.
It sounds like Randy's not taking anyone's advice.
It sounds like.
And just going, fuck you guys, which is not what he should be doing.
Uh, no, generally that's considered regrettable when things, uh, go escalate.
He's also doing that thing where he'll retweet and like, and like thank every single person
that goes to his Twitter to be like, I'm with you, Randy wins Borderlands.
Right.
And it's like.
Jonah Hill GIF.
Just interested to see the outcome of this lawsuit and, and other issues that would result
from it.
Um, so when, okay, so there's certain characters and I'll call them characters because at this
point, at this point in the video game industry, but like, you know what I mean, in the industry,
people that follow it like us and stuff, like there are characters like Reggie is a character.
Yes.
And, and.
Reg is not a real person.
The person that Reggie appears to be when he talks in a fucking interview is not Reggie
Fesame.
Yeah.
That is Reggie's character.
You know, exactly.
And, and, and, uh, Bobby Kotick is a character and, and like, you know, uh, uh, all of these
people that across the industry that we, you know, uh, there's all, there's sometimes
there's, there's escalations in their stories.
Yeah.
And, uh, escalations, escalations.
Um, Cliffy B has had escalations.
And now he's de-escalated to nowhere.
Uh, this is ripping it out of the world of character and making it uncomfortable because
that's like, oh, oh, no, the, the, the CEO, funny, slimy magician man is slimy or than expected.
The, the, the laws that we had at Randy's previous antics, uh, I, I, these are now not
antics anymore.
And it's funny.
It's funny.
You know what I, it's just because of the accusation of the specific pornography because if that
was not here, you would just go, well, Randy allegedly appeared to steal a shit ton of money
from Sega.
Why wouldn't he lift it from his own company?
You know, like, oh, that makes sense.
Right.
But then you add this little wrinkle and it's like, oh, ah, oh, spicy.
Yeah.
Um, allegedly spicy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And get characters, characters, you know, and, and Dennis Diacke and, and, uh, what happened
with everything on that team?
Yeah.
Very similar story.
It goes that project.
You know.
Yeah.
Like, ah, ha, ha.
Oh, you guys like samurai swords and harassing the secretary?
No, bro.
Just the samurai sword.
Anyway, um, please look forward to more borderlands.
Borderlands, if you would.
Border is that this is the borderlands.
Shut up.
Shut the fuck up.
Shut your fucking mouth.
Is the border shut?
God.
Where are we talking about the border between stop it?
Is it?
Is it a time frame fucking shut up?
Hmm.
Hmm.
It's an alleged border.
Hey, hey, hey, Catherine just came out on PC class, clav, the, the, the, the, the,
the Catherine just came out on PC, Catherine classic, and that labeled Catherine classic.
Isn't that weird?
Yeah, very.
Um, and that means possibly good things for Atlas in general.
Yeah.
In terms of acknowledging PC, hey, look, that engine go on the PC, it work.
We put it and it work.
Can we please, please?
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't think Sony.
I don't think.
Because like an easily modded Persona 5 could give us some high janks.
I think Sony enjoys its exclusivity.
Yeah, well, uh, Atlas Sega, talk about the possibilities of further PC releases.
Virtua Fight.
So, um, recently, uh, after the release of Catherine, people were like, yo guys, so you're
going to do this with other shit because there's a lot of other shit we would love
to see.
There's tons of Sega games I'd love to see on the PC and, uh, yeah, they said they
wanted to give the PC audience an opportunity to bring a couple over randomly, like, uh,
Vanquish.
Vanquish.
I was, I was about to say Vanquish.
Yeah.
No, I never expected those games to come to PC.
But like Sega, and that's Sega in general, but like the Atlas part of it though is the
one where you're like, uh, well, like they never fucking bother.
So, um, yeah, they're just, they did.
All they said was, what was the exact quote?
Let's see here.
Uh, it was like the possibility is in the future is, is open like, uh, where's the
exact fucking quote?
God damn it.
Woolly has to get over the look at the thing.
We hope to have exciting news to share in the future regarding publishing on PC.
I also hope that there's exciting news in the future.
Oh, I got bad hiccups, man.
That's it.
That's all.
They hope for exciting news.
I also hope for, we in all hope for, wait, I fuck you company.
You hope for exciting news.
You make the news PR person wrote this statement saying they hope to be told about news from
higher ups that is exciting in the future.
I would love it if PR people were just like, fuck off.
It's not going to stop bothering.
Like, like it would be so refreshing.
Um, again, and then that, the moment that happens, that PR person becomes a character.
Yeah.
Remember Perry?
I'm a zany person.
Remember Perrin Kaplan?
Nope.
She was a Nintendo Jedi.
Literally back in the days of IGN 64 completely forget with Matt Casimasina.
They would do interviews.
Oh, I never knew the IGN people.
And, uh, Perrin Kaplan, the Nintendo Jedi would just wave her hands and indirectly
answer questions in the vaguest fucking way.
Like you learn less than you did coming into the conversation type of thing.
Um, that's a power.
Yeah.
That's why she was paid.
That's why she got paid the big bucks.
Uh, so it's a little tidbit, a little, little, uh, detail was dropped.
But, um, Sekiro, apparently, uh, will be on the higher end spectrum of freedom compared
to previous FromSoft games.
Cool.
Um, in particular, this is referring to, uh, the hub and the world and the fact that
when, when you break it down, there is now, there's idols that replace bonfires more or
less.
Yeah.
Um, and, uh, they're kind of describing how this is.
Yeah.
This is basically going to be the largest fucking hub area, uh, any game has seen, and
it's also going to have a level up lady.
Cool.
Uh, called, was it, was something really cool.
It's like the forger, I believe.
Sculptor.
The Sculptor.
Yeah.
Um, uh, it makes sense.
And also, I remember somewhere, I remember reading it where, uh, they were thinking about
Tenshu and then they're like, now let's make something new.
But like, you can see the Tenshu in there, like the grappling hook alone.
The fact that it's not Tenshu is still surprising.
Uh, Tenshu is relatively narrow in its application.
Well, there's that.
And also, I imagine that if they did make this a new Tenshu, I feel, well, no, I feel
like making it a new thing probably helps brand wise as opposed to like people coming
in and going, Oh, where do I start?
And like, if you don't, if people have to ask that question, like, then it's kind of
like, eh, but Red Dead fucking redemption, right?
Well, where do I start with Red Dead too?
Cause it's the first one.
Because, but you know what I mean?
Like, but I feel like, I feel like the, where do I start question?
Like no one comes into Red Dead going, like, should I get revolver?
Like no, no, no one does that.
Capcom forgot that game exists.
That's why they sold it.
So, um, yeah, this not being a Tenshu probably for the best in the end, I guess.
But yeah, uh, higher end of freedom.
The freest game they ever made was Demon's Souls.
The second freest is Dark Souls one.
So something in between those two would be radical.
Did it clamp down and release order and get more restrictive as time went on?
Yes.
Two.
Bloodborne three.
Yeah.
Hmm.
Three does have one big ass alternate path you can go on.
But, uh, yeah, it mostly actually got more linear over time.
Cause I'm trying to think of, yeah, cause I feel like two,
Two had-
When you pick which one of the three places to go in the beginning,
they still lead to hallways that loop back.
Whereas demons, you literally pick a fucking Mega Man door.
Yeah.
So, uh, the way that I, uh, fucking described it to any particular person was that
Demon's Souls is, uh, like a star.
Like you go to the end of the point, right?
And then you go back to the middle.
Dark Souls one is a tower in that you travel up and down the tower.
It's mostly to your freedom, but it is a very vertical thing.
Uh, Dark Souls two is spokes on a wheel in that you start from the middle and get all the way to the end.
And then you can move in some cases from left and right from the end to one of the other ones.
Uh, Bloodborne's a line.
Bloodborne is a line.
And then Dark Souls three is a tree with branches.
Where you go forward and then it branches and then that might branch one or two others,
but it's still like a big, there's still the, the, the, the mass of the tree going through it.
But you're not jumping from branch to branch at that point.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And this is going to be a ninja game.
A spirograph.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Um, yeah.
Uh, minor detail, not, not that, not much else.
Activision is publishing that.
Yay.
That's exciting.
What are you going to, what are you going to, you know what's weird is that they're a publisher themselves and from soft,
I guess could, but that's taking a hit.
Oh.
I just gave you the biggest softball ever.
Oh.
The underhanded big old softball.
Oh, whatever that is, it's not on the.
Okay.
It's not on the.
You know what Activision isn't publishing?
What?
Destiny anymore.
Oh shit.
That's true.
Uh, forgot to throw that on there.
Um, introduce it.
I'll grab it quick.
So basic deal is that Bungie and Activision have announced that they are splitting, that they are, that Activision will no longer be having publishing rights for Bungie's games.
And most interestingly, Bungie managed to keep the Destiny IP, which makes me think that they made a really good deal seven or eight years ago when they signed that contract with Activision.
That stipulated they should keep the IPs that they made while they were there.
Destiny's 10 year plan is now done as far as Activision is concerned.
And they've gone their separate ways.
This is really interesting because Activision has done nothing but complain about Destiny every time it ever comes up in fucking shareholder shit for investors.
Go on.
Destiny's not making the money we wanted it to make.
What if we monetized it more?
What was the quote that it's still rife with potential for monetization?
That's a good word.
Which is, which led to Eververse, which is the loot box stuff and all that stuff.
And there was obvious back and forth friction between Bungie and Activision over that.
Very clear.
Bungie would have taken, uh, like Microsoft basically let Bungie get away with murder development wise.
Like they were allowed to take as long as they wanted and whatever.
Activision does not give a shit about that.
And it's like this game is going to come out on this fucking day and we don't care what you need to do to make it.
Bungie does not seem to make games very efficiently.
They restart development quite often on their games.
And it feels that maybe Destiny 2 would have come out as a much, much better game if they were given, I don't know, an extra year.
Rule of thumb is, um, when, uh, rule of thumb is if a publisher is working with a developer, they're fighting.
This is always happening.
Yeah.
100% of the time without anything.
Spend less money.
Give us more money.
This is how this goes, right?
Uh, when that starts to be visible publicly, it's infinitely worse behind the scenes.
Yeah.
So anything that you peek at that you're like, what?
So let's take, let's take a random example.
I'm just gonna make one up.
Let's just assume that, uh, back when Dead Space 1 came out, Visceral was fighting with EA.
Sure.
Did you see it?
No.
Not a bit.
I'm sure they argued all the time over money, over time, over advertising, whatever.
But it wasn't so bad that you and I could see it.
With Dead Space 2, you saw the just the tarniest little crack of it.
Little crack.
And then with Dead Space 3, it was like overt and everyone could see it.
And then that company died.
Like it might be, it might come in the form of an interview, you know, it might come in
the form of a little sarcastic tweet or jab somewhere.
But like if you see the cracks, it's a raging storm.
It's bursting.
It's the cracks are bursting from a, yeah, there's no room left in the secret, you know,
space to like, to not let you see it.
So it's a light glowing.
Yeah.
Um, yeah, so that, that fucking happened.
And, um, I am now fascinated with the ongoing development of Destiny.
Well, every one of these stories is always bookended with the evil is defeated gift.
Yeah.
You know, uh, and it's again that weird thing where, uh, last time we were talking about
Ubisoft where you're just like, yeah, yeah, little guy, the little guy wins from being
absorbed by fucking the little guy Ubisoft, you know, and you're like, fight back for
your independence.
You can do it.
Little Mac, you know, and you're just like, what the fuck is this planet?
But yeah, I know this makes me super interested in seeing like, so here's a couple of situations
that can happen, right?
Bungie can not have enough money to keep making sequels to this game and just supports it
long term.
And maybe that's fine.
Maybe they decide to go for a big budget sequel, Destiny 3 with a new publisher and it's the
same problems again.
And then it's like, well, guess we know where all the problems were coming from, right?
Maybe we blamed Activision too hard.
Or this is the beginning of a Cinderella story for Destiny and everything worked out great
for everyone.
Shackles freed.
Now we can...
I'm finally free.
Time to conquer Earth, said Rita Vlunjolsa.
I mean, fuck.
And well, Destiny being in the position it's in, especially with people like you coming
off of it, like, and firmly picking up your entire house, a basement and all, and landing
it in Warframe.
Destiny 2 is no shit the best thing that could have ever happened to Warframe.
That's all these sci-fi loot shooter fans that were disappointed.
And then Warframe has like doubled in popularity since Destiny 2 came out.
And Anthem is still...
Apparently it's like in three weeks.
The corner.
It's around the corner.
I have spoken to people who have been on that game's beta.
It is apparently much better than people are giving it credit, which I almost expected
that doesn't change the just taste of cynicism on that game.
No.
It is so cynical.
Yes.
And I remember the not too long ago where I was like, wait, what happened?
What did I miss?
Have I been away?
Have I been under this rock?
Whoa.
Oh boy, Anthem.
Anthem represents to me the death of Bioware.
I've said that before.
It's like, if Anthem does really well, guess what?
Bioware is an Anthem company now.
If it doesn't do well, say goodbye to Bioware.
They're done.
They're done, yeah.
Like, it's lose-lose.
We'll see what happens when it enters the races.
It would be interesting if it did the cliffy-bee thing and became the place where people that
are not playing Destiny but also not Warframe would go.
Well, hey, for EA, Anthem is now in a nice little spot.
Who are they competing with?
Destiny?
Not really.
Who are they competing with?
Fallout 70s?
Warframe?
OK, yeah, but that's a free-to-play weirdo game.
Right?
That's not a real video game.
There's a place that it might sit in for people that want that, but we don't know what this
does.
But, Ben, you got to play it on the PC through the Origin.
Yeah.
Which, uh-uh.
Maybe we'll just have to look at this as a healthy competition between Bungie and, uh,
fucking...
Whatever.
Yeah, and then that'll mean that the players win.
Because...
Well, this is assuredly going to be better for the consumer, even if it's in a small way.
Right?
It might just be like, eh.
Yeah, OK.
Has Origin gotten any sort of overhaul?
No.
Or, like, any...
Not even like...
I'm going to assume...
I just...
I'm going to assume that it is slightly better, at least, from when we played Titanfall 2.
Because that's the last time I've looked at it.
But I have never had a more miserable time trying to play games with friends than with
Titanfall 2.
And I say this fully appreciative of the fact that they put our Mirror's Edge playthrough
on the front page.
Yeah.
Dude, I remember trying to play...
That was awesome.
Thank you.
My friend Jim, and Origin said he wasn't online in the fucking top end UI.
And he's like, I'm playing the game right now.
I'm in a multiplayer match.
I'm like, I can't invite you because you're not online.
And we were never able to get into a match.
Like, just...
Yeah.
Like...
And then it would just crash when you blow the game.
Like, the whole launcher would crash when you'd open it.
I've always...
I feel so defeated on things like that in Uplay and all these other proprietories.
Uplay is fine.
But that's what I'm saying.
I used to be in the place where I'm just like, fuck you.
Just use the format that everybody can work with.
Yeah.
Stop being difficult.
And now I'm defeated as well.
I'm like, okay, fine.
I'll use Uplay.
As long as it works.
I'll use the Epic Games Store.
I'll use the GOG Launcher.
Just make it work.
And then...
Okay.
I have not used the Epic Games Store, so I can't say it.
Uplay will launch my games.
I have no problems running for honor on it.
Or Rainbow Six, right?
Steam launches my games.
Origin occasionally would not be able to play for no reason.
Yeah.
Like, it's the only one that failed its number one basic task.
BattleNet.
That one that works?
Fine.
No problem.
BIN BattleNet.
Just as long as it functions.
It's not even about the like...
It's the simplest thing.
Like, they managed to hit a bar lower than Uplay.
Amazing.
Like, the most annoying thing about Uplay is the first time you have to get it.
Oh, yeah.
It's really bad.
Log in again.
But that's exactly it.
Like, we're now at a place where...
And then it disappears after every subsequent thing.
We're now at a place where it's just downtime.
Like, will it work, you know?
Anyway.
And for the answer to be no sometimes is just hilarious.
You know what?
I just realized, Origin, congrats.
You're not the worst anymore.
We forgot about the Bethesda Launcher.
You know the one that leaks your personal details?
And lets people, like, respond to your support tickets?
That one?
Oh.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, that's a bad...
Well, here's a...
Well, it's a question mark, because I don't know what the fuck this game actually is,
to be perfectly honest.
All right.
That's a good start.
It's a good start.
DX2 Shin Megami Tensei.
That's the mobile game.
Gatsbeyaneta.
Yep.
Which means, for those of you at home who've been keeping track of your Grand Unified
Theory...
It means Dante and Bayonetta aren't just fan cannon by Kamiya anymore.
They do exist in the same universe, connected by the Amala Network.
They can be pulled out as demons.
Therefore, Sparta, Ava, and the Umbren witches and the Lumen sages all exist.
In SMT.
Confirmed, hard confirmed, can't stop it, won't stop it.
Yep.
100%.
That means Jesus Christ exists in Devil May Cry.
That's correct.
That means every single piece of every fictional belief ever.
And considering Sparta woke up to justice 2,000 years ago, it's quite possible our Lord
and Savior, Jesus Christ, told Sparta to wake up to justice.
Very big fan of the fact that waking up to justice is now getting a lot of play.
It's been used a lot recently.
You know what it reminds me of?
It reminds me of 20-O-X in Mega Man 1.
And it's like, uh-oh.
It's the first one.
You can't get away from it.
It's always going to be there.
He will always wake up to justice.
There was that comic where you saw Ava and Sparta.
And, God, what the fuck was wrong with me?
Bayo's Mom.
Bayo's Mom?
She has her name.
She has her name.
She has her name.
I forget it.
But Bayo's Mom are all literally in the same comic and they're hanging out and they're
talking about sigil summons and like, oh man, I like that idea.
Oh yeah.
It's Madama Butterfly's Big Arm comes out.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like, Sparta's like, tiny little fist comes out.
I was like, what the fuck's wrong with you?
It's like, oh, the females are so much bigger.
Yeah.
It's like, oh.
So anyway, there you go.
Bayo's a demon, summonable.
She's going to be fucking shooting Jack Frost and grinding up on-
Bayo, if you think you're such fucking hot shit, then crush this rock with your bare hands.
You ever see that?
No.
This is a list of compiled quotes from Jack Frost from various SMT games.
They are the best.
They include, if you think you're such hot shit, then crush a rock with your bare hands.
Buy something or I'll kill myself.
And all sorts of other crazy shit.
That's great.
That's awesome.
Like Jack Frost is a fucking piece of shit.
Yeah.
And he's the logo.
It's funny to see Madame a butterfly step on Mara.
Yep.
Yep.
Just putting that out there.
It's money.
You think?
It's money right there.
It's $5 donation every time you do it.
For every stomp.
Every time.
Every stomp.
It's a button in the menu.
Every stomp is $5.
Look at it.
Mash it.
Yeah.
Oh.
Yep.
Dodge offset this.
It's always stomp.
Have you seen Belfagore?
Yeah.
Do you remember Belfagore?
Yeah.
Isn't that the big mouth?
No.
Belfagore is the imp-looking guy sitting on a toilet.
Oh yes.
Yeah.
Toilet demon.
That one's just as weird to me as Mara.
Yeah.
Sure.
Sure.
Yeah.
And then there's an incubus.
It's just like, all right.
There it is.
It's cute.
There it is.
He's got a little spike.
Hey.
What up?
There's a mecha action game that is not Senkonorunde, but yet still is called Wartek.
All right.
So I looked at that headline and got confused.
Yes.
So I'm actually pretty glad you said not Senkonorunde.
Because it's called Wartek Fighters and it's not at all the same thing, but it's been announced.
And guess what, robots?
You know, as our knowledge of video games grow and the amount of titles available that are
actually unique decreases, this is going to become more common as we are more confused
by if something is a thing or not.
Yeah.
Well, again, if you're using the first two words of another brand and not getting in
trouble for it, is the word storm in the title of your game.
Anyway, so Blowfish Studios, who I don't know, but when I look their name up, it seems like
they're responsible for Storm Boy.
I'm looking at a trailer that Wally's playing and this fucking looks like Omega Boost.
And Jack Quest.
These guys are making a mecha game that, yes, it is looking like Omega Boost.
And it has little shades of armor chorisms.
You know what I would really love for Polyphony Digital to make another Omega Boost.
You're never going to see Omega Boost again.
That game is so much more interesting to me than the cars.
You're never going to see it again.
You're right.
Um, no, no, well, I mean, yes, but also I fucking love cars.
That's a different drive.
No, I know, but that feeling remains.
I want to fuck this car.
No one wants to fuck the robot feeling between game developers and dinosaurs.
See, and that's bullshit.
Everyone wants to fuck the robot, but nobody knows about the fact that we all want to fuck
the robot.
Children want to be the robot.
Men want the robot to be their girlfriends.
In Zone of the Enders, you live in the robot's penis.
There you go.
There you go.
Did you ever see the interview where the mech designer explained why you ride in the robot's penis?
Yes, I want a literal cockpit.
Yoji Shinkawa wants a literal cockpit.
Like that's it.
And then that becomes the fucking, uh, the front of the ship and it thrusts in that direction.
But War Tech Fighters is a mecha game where you have different types of designs and things
and you fight and you do the 3D.
April of this year.
And it seems like it's all right.
So, hey, take a look.
If that is your style, I think it's mine.
Oh my God, I actually just saw the Xbox One logo and thought, did they actually write
X-Bone?
Like my eyes changed it to more.
Has it been so long since you've seen an Xbox logo?
A little bit.
I don't see them that often.
That's unfortunate.
Is it?
Is your life actually affected in any way, shape, or form?
Well, here's one way in which it was affected.
Damn.
Devil May Cry 5.
That's right.
I didn't get to play that demo.
But you were able to find out that it's about 15 hours long.
And that there are secret weapons in the game.
So, some people were kind of like, why so short?
And I'm like, that's the perfect life for that.
Come on.
Come on.
There's three characters you can play in almost any mission.
That's 15 linear.
Yeah.
Not 15 original.
With one character.
And here, let me do a little math if you want to go into some of these...
Yeah, math it up.
...things that they...
Because it was a little Itsuno interview.
Mini-math.
Mini-interview.
I love math.
I was just going to HLTB the other games.
Yeah.
Oh, you know what?
You keep talking.
I can do that really fast on my phone.
Okay, well...
How long to beat DMC3, which is the longest one?
Yeah.
Because that's where we start.
And then you just work it back.
How long is Dante's Awakening Special Edition to beat?
It is 12 and a half hours.
Because we just did them.
Main plus extras is 19.
And then completionists is 48 because it includes all the blue orbs and the double characters.
How long was four?
Which I feel is the shortest.
Yeah.
I want to say nine.
That's my guess.
How long to beat DMC4?
Not DMX4.
Not DMX4.
Not the fourth one.
Yeah.
The fourth dog.
The fourth dog.
11 and main plus extras is 14.
And we all walked out of four going a little short.
Yeah.
And then they added three characters to it.
Three...
I still feel is like long, but I think...
I think some of that is based on area traversal and the spread of it.
If you tightened up three, if you went back to three and tightened it up in some ways,
it would be 15 to 16 anyway.
That's exactly what I'm getting at.
But this one has three characters.
But you know what's better than three characters?
More characters.
Yeah.
Which they say they're open to depending on if people really want them.
I wonder if people really want them.
I wonder if people...
Fucking give us more!
Okay, let's be real.
I want more now!
There are quite possibly four characters in that game.
It's possible.
But even if there are only three, that's still way more than we've ever gotten in the first
version.
And the real...
And the full potential is six.
That's the full potential.
I don't think we'll get six.
I think five is the upper limit.
It would be a lot of work.
Because six is the special edition.
Six would be absurd.
Six is what you get after the game's been out for a while and then you go back to it
and then you add them back in.
Yeah.
You know?
You add Lucia, you add Lady, you add Trish.
There you go.
And no Virgil in that entire game.
Hell no.
Why would you?
Don't need them.
Get out of here.
Yeah.
Did you see one of them?
And then Curie.
Did you see...
Somebody asked its Sonosan's translator if Lucia was in the game.
And his response was to ignore the question and just go on to say it will be revealed
why the game is set after DMC2 when you play the game.
Yes.
Yes.
And it's like, okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Now, here's the thing.
We're so far past the rest of the franchise at this point.
We're 10 years from fucking DMC4.
It's all had a chance to settle in.
So why wouldn't you acknowledge everything that you could with that?
Even that weird thing.
Yeah.
And you know what?
Lucia should wear a stylin' pair of jeans.
For that scene.
Yeah.
Sure.
Sure.
Sure.
At least her weapons, you know, if you want.
She's too cool to be left in the dirt in the past.
Like she is the best thing about that game.
But yeah, the idea of more playable characters.
It's like.
Give me more.
Now.
I mean, okay.
Let's, you want, should we just do it?
The exhaustive potential list at barring brand new stupid shit.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's Dante, Nero, V.
Obviously they're all in the game.
Virgil, Lady Trish.
Lady Trish.
Lucia.
Lucia.
And then.
Original moveset, Sparta.
You would have to go original moveset, Sparta.
And then you would start to go back in time to characters that shouldn't even be there
like fucking Arkham or Jester.
You know, but like.
It'd be madness.
But like original moveset, Sparta is the absolute farthest they could possibly push it.
Push it.
And I don't think they would ever do that.
No.
He'll be a costume.
Yes.
Original moveset, Sparta with original model, Sparta.
No.
Hit the nut button.
No.
Just fucking mash it.
Stop it.
No.
Stop it.
No.
Stop it.
No.
I don't like this.
It's a weird bug, Jesus.
He's weird looking.
Oh my God.
Take the money.
All of it.
But not the jacket money.
That's stupid.
No, that's stupid.
That's stupid.
You can't have my jacket.
No.
You can have my other jacket.
I don't want your jacket.
No.
That's dumb.
And, man, last but not least, what?
I was just talking to people the other day.
I'm like, oh man, Capcom is really coming back.
Like, yeah, it's weird because Capcom used to be great.
And then it was crap.
And then it was great.
And I'm like, let's all sit and think and just think about how many of Capcom not being
great for that period.
You could blame on Anifune in your heart.
And you're like, oh, a lot.
Like a bunch.
Mega Man, Western Remakes.
Yeah.
Like that whole period.
But not every Western remake.
Yeah.
But you could blame it all on him.
And then he left and now everything's back to great.
But I'm still happy for Rearmed and Strider.
Yes.
You should be.
They're good.
Especially Rearmed.
But what did we lose?
What was the sacrifice?
We lost for sure Devil May Cry 5 like three, four years ago.
For sure.
That would have happened.
And we'd be on six now.
We'd be on six.
Was it for the best?
Maybe.
Because they're desperate to exceed our expectations.
And maybe that dip for five, for DMC reboot, needed to create the gap, the space.
Because remember, the only reason why three is so good is because they were so embarrassed by two.
Exactly.
That's exactly what I'm saying.
Right?
If you expose your balls, then you got to come back harder.
Yeah.
And show everyone how smooth and big they are.
Not to mention the fact that in that same interview I just closed, they literally,
the person working for early web said,
what is the future of the DMC Devil May Cry franchise?
And Itsuno was just like, I don't know, man.
I don't know.
What?
What do you want it to be?
You tell me.
There's an Easter egg in DMC five for DMC Devil May Cry, where there's books and files in Nico's van that describe the years that the games came out in.
And for DMC one, it's like Malay Island.
And for DMC two, it's like, I forget the setting.
And for the years that DMC Devil May Cry came out, it's labeled other stuff or something like that.
Interesting.
I mean, again, it's, they acknowledged it.
Yeah.
But I think it's, you know, is it a place where it's like on the record, he's like, yeah, I enjoyed these things.
And we inspired, we were inspired by these things and whatnot.
But he also knows that it's like the real thing is back and true fans.
Yeah, he's got to dance a line.
He doesn't want to seem rude, but everyone wants him to say it.
No, so.
So instead he just dances.
He's on the line and he's doing the left, right, left, right, left, right.
And that's the dance.
I think R2 and DMC five releasing so close to one another is like the best Capcom has looked in like five, 10 years, you know, like, like just hold.
Oh, by the way, Onamusha comes out this week.
Onamusha comes out this week.
Hold on.
No, because we were talking about this with the Cap God discussion last time.
And RE seven going forward was looking strong, but then the fighting game problems.
Yeah.
Well, the fighting game problems are over now that Mr. Monster Hunter will fix it yet to be proven.
We'll see.
But so but also like what I mean is this is this is Capcom's year because you have R2, which is going to be a slam dunk and putting my reputation on that.
And it's a CEO's kid, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he's also a Monster Hunter man.
Yeah.
But it's fucking Monster Hunter.
Right.
Right.
But but also also you got RE two, you got DMC five and also the Monster Hunter expansion is coming out this year.
Like there's a lot to be grateful for coming from Capcom.
Not saying that it's hard to fuck up Monster Hunter, but it's easy to fuck up Monster Hunter.
Yeah.
But like it's in fucking Monster Hunter.
It's in such good graces that I feel like world like, I don't know.
I don't know where I'm going.
I'm going to I'm going to be very polite here.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You're right.
You're right.
I don't know.
But anyway, Monster Hunter has been taken care of with class and dignity, except for that one thing.
The CEO's kid seems to be doing all right so far.
Let's see if he can save Street Fighter.
Let's see if he can.
That'd be cool.
Marvel versus Capcom or better yet.
I feel like Marvel don't save Marvel versus.
I think versus I think versus and save needs to be saved more than Street Fighter.
Exactly.
Street Fighter five has its problems, but it's a good game.
Yeah.
No, no, no, save versus and it doesn't matter what the versus is put a game out called versus Capcom.
God damn it.
Just do it.
Capcom versus Capcom.
No, just versus Capcom.
Just do it.
If they could get away with it, I think they should just call it versus, but they can't
because that game came out on the PS one.
Yeah, it sucks.
No, I do think that I think everyone would enjoy and love the joke of Capcom versus Capcom.
Oh, yeah.
And I also do think like it would allow them to just unchain and grab all of all the weirdest
grab all the best all of it and just lean in as hard as possible.
It makes no sense why they haven't done it yet.
And then they then we wouldn't have to worry about the game going away after a couple of
years.
And then Max and me can shut the fuck up.
Because like how long aren't the only one?
A lot of people want a game.
How long, you know?
Anyway, you just took the Capcom rosters just from two and three and infinite.
Wow.
That's great.
Even yeah.
Wow.
Take take all those strikers that you put into the fucking part one and just it's there.
It's all it's a good list.
We don't need the replace Chris with Leon.
It's never been more appropriate than now.
Never ever.
Um.
Jojo's bizarre adventure last survivor got announced last year and we never got into
it.
It is the arcade game.
More importantly, it is the Jojo Royale.
I hate this game.
You don't think I hate it that Jojo was was ready and full of potential for battle.
I don't even care if it's good.
I just I hate that it's called less survivor.
I can't deal with the fact that it's not called last and I like it's so this is the biggest
missed opportunity ever.
I didn't hear that one.
I did not hear that one.
Holy shit.
This game sucks.
Holy shit.
Wow.
Wow.
Way to unmake every wow.
Yeah.
Jojo's bizarre adventure last stand.
Holy shit.
Like it sucks.
That's crazy.
That's fucking crazy.
You ruined it.
You completely ruined it.
Regardless of whether whatever it was going to be.
No, but seriously, it could be really good and I still hate it.
Yeah.
No, that's insane.
That's it's unplayable.
Literally unplayable.
Oh, wow.
Wow.
That's yeah.
Okay.
What do you think about that?
And no one will ever be able to not.
Is this the Japanese name?
Maybe there's a chance.
Yeah, right.
They never change that.
Maybe there's a chance.
Right.
Because you know why?
You know why it's like this called last survivor because the last game was called Jojo All-Star
Battle.
Yeah.
And that's too close to Battle Royale.
Oh my God.
It's it's.
Yeah.
But anyway, also the idea of like using the eyes of heaven.
Like engine to do Battle Royale seems like shit.
So I don't know if that's actually what's happening though.
Well, because I don't know that the eyes of heaven people.
I don't think cyber connect is necessarily.
Oh yeah.
Let me confirm very quickly.
But also Battle Royale.
What are you?
How is it going to be?
Because there's a difference between Battle Royale and Last Man Standing, right?
Yeah, there is.
And the difference is the number of people.
Yeah.
So the trailer has no cyber connect logo or anything like that.
So and the game visually looks like different models from those other.
Yeah, I can see that it looks different.
But like how many people are going to be on a map?
Five.
So 20.
20 is okay.
20 is high.
That's good.
That's what they're saying.
The idea is that 20 players battle it out in Moriocho.
Oh, it's always Morio.
I guess different areas of Morio.
And there's also NPC characters called Darby assassins.
Okay.
Minimum of 21 players and a maximum of 40 can participate in a game.
So there's going to be a bunch of whatever.
But I foresee problems with this because I feel like there's two ways you could build
this, right?
You could make it.
All the characters be unique.
But they necessarily have to have similar movesets because they have to punch and kick
each other, right?
Or have a number of classes, like long range stands and close range stands and so on and
so forth.
But I think would be actually more interesting, like the people like...
Battle Royale with Melee and character selection sounds cool to me.
But like say Endul would fill a sniper role because of course he would.
Yes.
Right?
That sounds really cool if you can actually pick a character that represents like whatever
class and such and handle it in different ways.
I don't know.
Like I worry that in a system in which all the characters are like different fighting
game characters that some will be bad and some will be good.
So don't play the bad ones.
Okay.
So in my head, whole horse is just snake with a Nikita.
Sure.
How do you beat that?
I don't know.
What makes the Battle Royale genre work is that all of your powers, all of the things
you use to kill the enemy are on the map and you have to acquire them by luck, you know?
Whereas here it's like what, you're going to find Star Platinum Koichi?
No, so that's the thing is whoever has like anyone who's using fucking Star Platinum or
Dio or like up close brawler types will just run up to you and beat your ass unless you
can get the time, unless you can find your spot or whatever.
You know?
Like that's the thing.
But assuming they can balance for that, then it could be interesting.
But yeah, I feel like whole horse would be unstoppable if given this type of game.
This type of game.
Exactly.
In duel as well.
All the long range stance actually would gain the advantages that they should have
because they're long range dance.
In this type of situation, yeah, absolutely.
It also allows for, like if you try to get some wacko choices in there, some fun stuff
could be interesting where you're not just combat types, but like non-combat types.
I'm playing a Steely Dan, fucking Rohan, right?
The rules of having Rohan as playable in this might be really fun.
He'll punch you.
Justice.
You know?
Highway star.
Yeah.
Like there's a lot.
Are you a fun?
I bet we're thinking it over, I bet we're overthinking it a lot and it'll be much simpler than
we expect.
I bet you five of the 20 characters will be Dio's.
Yes.
Like there will be three Jotaro's and five Dio's and that'll be most of the game.
Every match.
Also, people are only going to pick Dio and Jotaro.
I would love for this game to have a big enough roster so that it's shut up.
You cannot pick a duplicate.
Oh yeah.
But it would have to have like a roster of like 60.
It would need to go into League of Legends.
But I like not being able to pick duplicates in a game like this because otherwise you
end up with 10 Jotaro's on the map.
I mean, as long as the hard counter is obvious to like a super strong pick, then like, yeah,
absolutely.
But what if there are no hard counters?
Well, like it's only soft counters.
Well, again, like and they're real soft because if you pick Kira, you know, you get like everything
up until Kosaku with Stray Cat and fucking Bites the Dust and all of it.
You know what I mean?
Like you can, so you can, you can split that across if you wanted to.
But yeah, like imagine having a Koichi that could do Echo Zach 3 that can fucking weigh
you down, you know, and then like you can't like move and you're kind of caught out in
the open and then you can get your ass beat real hard or like meeting certain characters
where it's like, if you team up with me together, we can go really far.
Like if if someone plays Oingo, you know, and then you get to fucking team up with
the whole horse and then you can, I don't know, anyway, it's going to be a brawler.
It's going to be, yeah.
Every single character is going to be a brawler, but the idea, you know, and all the cool stand
things that we're thinking of are going to be cutscenes like as finishers.
It's going to be rush forward and land the super and then it's going to be, yeah, see
at least it's no jump force because stands as loadouts.
Yeah.
It's cool.
So cool.
Cool idea.
Do you want to come in with star finger or diamond breaker punches, Emerald splash from
a distance or tripwires?
Yeah, it's cool, but someone would have to think of all the variations fuck vanilla
ice.
Vanilla ice would be a genuinely horrible way to play the game jumping into the nether
world, running around and then reappearing and then eating a chunk out of the map or
killing anybody that you land on.
Vanilla ice would be a terrible character to play as because if you were smart, you
would just never come out of it and then you would just have a black screen the whole
time.
Well, then you'd a one, you'd have to have a huge disadvantage such as like a cool down
that's massive or an open point.
Second, if you could just jump into the other map and know where you're going fully and
like there'd have to be some, you know what I mean?
Like you could you can nerf it in a lot of ways, but the trade off of course is if I
land on top of you, then you get fucking exploded in that one shot.
Yeah.
There's a lot of interesting things you could do.
Pet shop would be the real fucking problem.
Yeah.
Anyway, we'll see what happens.
But that's Jojo's last not fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, you almost said the wrong thing.
Didn't you?
Jojo's bizarre adventure last survivor.
What a bummer.
Can't believe you ruined it.
I ruined that whole game.
The game no longer has any value to the human race.
Let's take some letters.
Hey, if you want to send a letter in, send them to Castle Superbeast Mail at gmail.com.
That's Castle Superbeast Mail at gmail.com.
And your letter might sound something like this as read by one woolly.
William says to the Eldra Tours currently inhabiting Castle Superbeast.
Got it.
I wanted to start off by wishing you all the best going forward on the new podcast and
your solo works.
Thanks, man.
Played nearly all the DMC games minus DMC.
Yeah.
And I never explored the deep mechanics of style and I never counted myself as a DMC
fan.
Yeah.
And my question to you is, have you ever played a game franchise where you played nearly
every game in the series but never felt as though you dove deep enough or felt devoted
enough to call yourself a fan?
I would say that's the case for like Call of Duty.
I played like one, two, four, five, you know, I played a shit ton of them.
Yeah.
And it was like, I like Call of Duty, but I would not call myself a Call of Duty fan.
Right.
So I don't have that with, I don't have that with games, but I have that with shows.
Oh yeah.
I watched the whole thing.
Yeah, it's okay.
I liked it.
I feel like, and you've heard it over the years, but I feel like two franchises that
have been super gatecapped from me have been my Gundam and Kamen Rider in a lot of ways
until I used to care a lot more.
I don't care anymore now about it because it was, it was dumb to feel that way.
But watching the entirety of UC, but still not knowing, like not being, you know what
I mean?
It's one of those things where I'm like, I thought I watched almost all of it.
No, you watched nothing.
And I definitely like there's, yeah, with up to a point because when they started making
a unicorn and stuff going forward, I didn't catch up at that point.
But there was a whole lot of Gundam under my belt, but I never felt like I was in a place
where I could say like, yeah, I can talk authoritatively, authoritatively about this, you know.
And I still don't because there's still infinitely more Gundam that I don't know than there is
that I do.
But I know that I've seen like the mainline stuff and I've seen a lot of the UC stuff
as well.
And I like a lot of it to just be like, that's my favorite and I enjoyed that part.
But yeah, fake fan forever though.
And the other one is, well, yeah, with Kamen Rider is one of those ones where it's like,
man.
I love Kamen Rider Kabuto.
That's a life dedication.
But I'm like, it never stops and you do have to really, you have to dedicate a chunk of
your fandom and life to following Sentai if you want to and Toku if you want to.
If you want to follow Ranger stuff or if you want to follow Garo or if you want to follow
Kamen Rider in every iteration.
But having said that, I'm like, but I have a bunch of those shows completed.
Yeah.
I've definitely gone through, I think I've watched five of them.
I think the count is at about five or so.
And each one's like 52 episodes and you're like, yeah, I put a lot of time in there.
But definitely don't feel any way that I can be like, yeah, I can call myself like a fan
in that way because I'm just like, yeah, I feel like in order to say that, it's like
you probably need to have watched 80% of them or more or some sort of imaginary number.
I don't know.
But you need to have watched everything going back from the first one.
I would say I'm a Quentin Tarantino fan, even though I haven't seen like a third of his
movies and don't like a couple of the ones I have seen.
But the ones that I love, I fucking love and I love the Tarantino of it.
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's that's what I feel.
I feel like with shows where there's so much to consume and you've consumed what you
consider a lot, but like by virtue of how much is unconsumed, you haven't scraped the
surface or people that have gone that far in are just like, oh, you haven't seen the
good shit or whatever.
It kind of feels like, man, I'll never be there.
You'll never be a monster.
I'll never be there.
Never be a monster.
You're not allowed.
No.
I'm not allowed.
But I killed a great Jagras.
Did you?
Did you see what the quest they're putting out for the anniversary of Monster Hunter
World is?
No.
It's called The Greatest Jagras.
And it's because Jagras is the most killed enemy.
They're putting out like a super, super gigantic, arch-tempered, tough Jagras for people to
fight.
Cool.
That's good.
It's mostly interesting just because of the title of The Greatest Jagras.
Yeah.
Thanks, William.
Thanks.
Well, appreciate it.
We got one coming in from Tim.
He says.
More power.
Hello, House Sub-Park Critter.
Most people use steak as a way of gauging how good a restaurant establishment is.
I love French fries, however.
That's my personal measure of quality.
What food do you use to gauge how good a restaurant or food establishment is?
Mashed potatoes.
Poutine.
If your poutine is solid.
That's a really specific.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Exactly.
If you got your poutine right, then you've got the restaurant.
I know, but I mean, there's a lot of places that don't have poutine.
Well, yeah, but I mean, what do I care?
If I don't live there.
Because for me, it's mashed potatoes, particularly at a steak place because mashed potatoes are,
it's like the simplest thing that's going to hit your plate.
If you fucked it up, I don't trust anything else on your menu because they're fucking
mashed potatoes.
Yeah.
You mash potatoes, you put butter in them.
You mash them more, maybe you put some salt or, you know, like, no, I feel like if you
fuck up the cheese curds and gravy and you don't do it with the right thing, then it's
like, what do you feel about places that wanted to do what's in, but that they couldn't?
So they made cheese fries.
Crazy fries.
Crazy fries.
Crazy fries.
I mean, look, the fact that I learned later on that curds are hard to get in America,
they're very hard to get opened up a little bit of forgiveness, a little bit, just a
food item that's not actually readily available, though we take for granted, but the only reason
they're really readily available here is because everyone makes puts in with them.
Yeah.
No, I still say fuck you, but I shake my fist a little less, you know?
But I get it.
I remember when we were in fucking Atlanta and they had fucking, Georgia puts in on
the fucking menu and I looked at it and it was like, yeah, the, no, again, it's like
a proper fucking foreign hipster.
It's the Toronto people that take photos of their plate of fries with the grated cheese
and fucking.
Oh, shut up.
You guys know better.
Grated cheese and St. Hubert's sauce poured on it and I'm like, what are we doing here?
So they get an anti free pass because they should know better.
Yeah.
Dude, it's hilarious.
It's only like a six hour drive.
So they know.
So on the bullet list of things that the podcast will always fall into, puts in elitism is
absolutely one that pops up every 10 episodes.
Elitism will occasionally arise as well.
It's totally going to happen.
But I do use, I literally do use it as a measure.
Your neck of the woods will always have a food that you will laugh at anyone from anywhere
else trying to make because it's silly in defense of Yukiko's S link.
Dear bestest Willie and shortest Pat, we're never getting away from this one, huh?
I mean, been on a persona kick and found myself remembering how much Pat hated Yukiko's social
link, calling something along the lines of pointless.
It's pointless.
That's the exact word I used because ultimately she goes back to working for and devoting herself
to the end while Yukiko isn't my favorite character.
She is best girl.
I found myself understanding Yukiko's experience in her social link.
I would say that it's an Asian perspective, but I think having it, I think it's more universal.
It's the idea of having choice versus being forced to do something and now sometimes young
people need to explicitly be told, hey, you don't have to run the family business following
my footsteps if you don't want to.
Yukiko throughout her social link and dungeon felt like she was being forced and trapped
in her family's in, but once the burden of guilt was gone, she realized she actually
enjoyed doing it and understood the responsibilities.
Anyway, what are the Sun and the Moon general misunderstandings and popular when people
miss the force of the trees?
And it's like, yeah, I know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
no, here's my problem is the problem with that S-link is you are correct.
Everything that he said was absolutely correct and I understand it.
The problem is, is that no one comes up to Yukiko and tells her you don't have to run
the family business if you don't want to.
That thing never happens.
She just kind of goes from desperate to wanting to get away to going, you know what, maybe
being forced to run the family business is what would make me the happiest.
You know what, marriages don't have to be about love.
That's why it's so pointless.
We can have a marriage of convenience and business and then fall in love.
That happens later.
Yeah.
No, it, and the other thing too is, I think that point is real and what he said makes
makes sense, but I think it's also when you put it alongside other minor versions of that
happening throughout persona in general, where changes aren't real changes because you don't
want too much social unrest as a result of your rebellion, you know, or as a result of
stirring the pot too much.
Listen, I'm not gay.
I'm just unconfident with girls.
Listen, I'm not trans.
I'm just unconfident with men.
Listen, I don't really have confidence problems.
I just have confidence.
Wait, what?
That one's a little weird.
The GA one, but yeah, just like, hey, it's not about it's not about guys or girls.
It's kanji.
It's about guys.
Guy kanji kanji kanji.
It's about guys.
Come on.
No, it's I'm just unconfident.
Yeah.
And the fact that that naotos could be interpreted in such a way where it was like as a result
of well, here's the thing.
It could be interpreted such a way as that when you go into a manga later on two years
down the line, she's got her big flowing hair.
And she's wearing a push up bra.
Embraced my femininity.
And it's like, you are not.
You're oh, man.
It's like, oh, it's OK.
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like there's there's a big old Western way of confronting problems.
That's just the the fucking.
Remember, remember, remember, that is not going to happen in persona.
I was in Sejep and we went and I went to one of my site classes and the basic one
of the explanations of there's a very clear difference between Eastern and Western psychology.
And Western psychology is about helping you change the world around you to fit the person
that you are so that you feel better.
And Eastern psychology tends to be how you can change yourself.
The problem was within the world that you live in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you see this in persona and it's like like everyone's problems is is and it's a theme
of persona about accepting who you are.
But it's also about accepting the world as it is with all of its flaws and you're just
going to have to learn to live with it, which is kind of its own.
Yeah.
Like reasonable solution.
But some of the ones they go to is Yuki Ko just gives up on her dream of doing anything
but because she's kind of aimless.
All she knows is that she doesn't want to run the in.
But then she goes, you know, running the in isn't so bad and I do have happiness here.
So I'm just going to ignore all the work that I've done to self actualize myself as
a different person and just run the family business and it's disappointing.
And five is that happens on a macro level where it's literally the entire planet or
at least all of Japan rather has to be on board with your form of rebellion so that
we can bring you back to the fold.
And I know I remember because people definitely came at that point when I made it the first
time and said there's a lot of counter arguments to be made here.
What I feel though is if you want to talk about the example that the viewer just said
missing the forest for the trees, I think when you take all of these stories and look
at the repeating theme of how that happens at the end of all of them, there's a level
of harmony that must be maintained and you don't want a T boat.
Don't rock that boat.
Don't rock the boat.
Don't rock that boat.
There's a level of not rocking the boat that happens in every one of these social links
that I think you can use to sort of feel that they don't want to go too far with it.
So there's one.
And personally, as someone that grew up in Canada, I like when someone's coming of age
tail is about like rocking the boat.
So there's one in particular in P5 that damages the game because it is so legitimately distressing.
And it's Futaba's S-Link.
So there are minor spoilers for Persona 5 incoming about Futaba's S-Link.
On S-Link number six or seven, Futaba describes an old friend that she had back in elementary
school that she lost touch with.
And the reason why she lost touch with her friend is because her parents were horribly
abusive and it is dark abuse.
It implies that they are either renting the girl out or forcing her to perform like web
shows for people as like a 10 year old.
It is as dark as it can possibly get.
And the solution that Futaba suggests to you is to go and steal her parents' hearts
so that her parents aren't evil anymore and thus the family can go back to being a normal
loving family and you do that and everything is fine now and the girl gets back with her
parents and they're all happy after that.
And it is fucked.
It is so fucked because everyone looks at it as a happy ending and Futaba and the girl
are friends again now and she's starting to get over it and the parents are nice now
and it is fucked.
It is super screwed up.
I didn't finish her fucking confidence.
Yeah.
Are you serious?
Go check that out.
Go check that out.
That's one of the ones I got up to like a low level and didn't follow through on.
It is so misguided.
I don't know what they're trying to even tell you.
I think they're trying to tell you that as long as the parents...
Okay.
You know what it is?
The villain feels bad.
So you must forgive them, right?
The villain had a change of heart and regrets their earlier actions and they're gonna try
and make a man.
So you must forgive them because harmony.
Cue sadness and sorrow from Naruto.
Yeah.
Sad childhood.
Yeah, that's fucked.
That's pretty bad.
I didn't realize that.
Because that's one of those ones where you're like, or you can steal their hearts or the
cops and the jail, but instead you literally just leave her...
You fix the family.
You fix the family and you just...
And now the family's great.
And now it's great.
Yeah.
Okay.
And it's like...
Yeah.
So that's exactly it, right?
Now take that as a microcosm and apply that to all these different stories and you get
this.
But if you choose to ignore that, because it's not that it's not a great game and it's
not that it's not a great story, but if you choose to ignore that, I think you're being
willfully ignorant of a large feeling that is not, I guess, compatible with the way we
live our lives, I guess.
So the most interesting thing is the Persona 3 does this very well because the theme of
Persona 3 is accepting the inevitability of death, right?
So everyone's S-Link is about something terrible in their lives that they are just going to
have to learn to live with.
They can't change it and they can't fix it because it's stuff like my parents are getting
divorced, I have terminal cancer, I have a career-ending sports injury, right?
You're not going to fix these.
They're not fixable.
So you're going to have to integrate that into your new personality and learn to live
with it.
So in that case, it's totally appropriate and nearly all of those stories are appropriate
because they're about the fact that you can't change it.
You have to live with it.
But the other ones are about change.
They're about changing yourself or changing society.
And then the end of it is don't change yourself, don't change society.
It's interesting because the conclusions they come to are the same as the ones I think
we would want them to have, where it's like, yeah, you have to learn to accept this and
live with it and not feel shame or not-
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
You're not getting divorced, right?
Right?
Learn to...
But the roundabout way that you get there is by ignoring some really, really fucked
up truths that the game is not forcing you to actually call out or acknowledge and that's
the problem.
Yeah, totally, totally, totally.
So that's Yukiko.
Hey, this cult leader is abusing your fortune teller friend because he's in a cult.
Get him in trouble?
No, you just made him good again.
So now all the problems are solved.
Change the heart.
I got kicked out of the medical profession at a local hospital because of corrupt business
practices and the fact that nobody gave a shit and people died.
Don't worry.
I fixed it.
You can go back to your hospital job now.
Everything is fine.
It's like, no, no, no.
That's not the problem.
Yeah.
That's also super fucked.
And like that footabish it, especially considering like Kamishita as like your, your intro to
the game amazing, like, oh, that's dark and bad and I'm fucking like, and the game was
hard real early.
Yeah.
But he gets a comeuppance.
Yeah.
And then to have side stories that are the same or worse.
Wow.
Okay.
Well, yeah, there you go.
There you go.
I hope we were able to answer your question.
Yeah.
And I mean, and I feel bad because like I remember the last time with the rebellion thing, like
some people got really upset, but I'm like, dude, you're rebelling against society in
order to protect society the way it is.
Like what?
Whoa.
Like as long as you can change their minds to join you in your rebellion because the
heart, you know, like, it's like, it's like you're not, you're being dishonest if you
don't acknowledge the part of this that is in every individual S-link over both of those
games.
Yeah.
You know, it tells you the thesis statement over and over again.
But anyway, um, you know, it's funny, I never, this kind of thing never would have occurred
to me back when I was younger.
Like, I didn't notice this playing for, I only noticed it later, thinking about it.
And I was like, wait a second, that we had a whole storyline about a character coming
out of the closet, only to end with, I'm not actually going to worry about it.
I'm straight.
I'm super straight.
And or the Naruto version.
Right.
Yeah.
The trans thing's not really exact.
You think it is.
You know what?
But it's not actually what it is.
It was the interview that I read where they were like, no, Conchie's not gay.
That's ridiculous.
Why would you think that?
From one of the developers.
And I'm like, and I'm like, what?
He's gay.
The day is long.
What are you talking about?
This is the most interesting thing about the character.
Like, like it's it's ridiculous.
Yeah.
We have we like we literally have like gay and trans friends that are like super interested
in those characters only to get fucking kneecapped by the death by that idea.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.
So you know, these things you identified with in these characters, J.K.
Big mistake.
Didn't mean it.
So it was an accident of the translation.
And and and ridiculous.
And again, and ultimately it but it's still there in a way where you like I can.
The author's intent is not everything.
Whether or not that's the intent, you cannot possibly tell me in for in its own
vacuum that Conchie is not gay.
It's more it's absurd.
It's more like it's almost like it's open ended where the language isn't fully definitive.
Not so the boat is not rocked.
But if you felt that if you felt that solidarity on the journey through their S link,
then you should be able to not only is it ridiculous that Conchie is not gay.
If he's not gay, that doesn't just make like Yosuke a homophobic teenager idiot.
It also makes him objectively dumb, like stupid.
Because what is he even worried about?
Right. Yosuke.
I you remember Yosuke in fucking high school, freaking out, right?
Where he's freaking out. You don't talk about it because he's uncomfortable
and he's a home and it's like he'll grow out of that, hopefully.
Right. Hey, man, those voice lines were recorded.
They were. They absolutely were.
And you know what?
That makes that context a lot more interesting.
It does. Right.
But if Conchie's not actually even gay, then what the fuck is Yosuke even talking about?
Is he just that stupid? Maybe.
You know what?
I just realized the best friend character they give you in three, four and five
all have massive flaws.
They all have massive flaws, like because they can't be you.
They can't be good like you.
Junpei is stupid and jealous, like to a to a.
And when you play as the Femme C, it's he's stupid, jealous and really sexist.
Like, OK, like he's straight up like, how could a girl leave the party?
This is ridiculous. Like, it's bad, right?
And Yosuke has his problems with Conchie and he's just kind of a creep.
He's like, he's got Warren vibes, right?
Yeah, he's got Warren.
Hangar on. He's like, hey, I bought you girls bikinis.
You know, he's like, he's hard-warring.
It's like, calm it down, bro.
Calm it down. And then and then you're usually just stupid.
Yeah, really, he's just a dumb and traditional, traditional stupid.
So like you usually shut up in public about the Phantom Thieves.
Boy, it sure is great being a Phantom Thieves like you just shut up.
Now, like, I like Ryuji a lot, but it's like
shut your fucking mouth.
You know, who doesn't fucking let you down?
God damn, Koromaru.
Nope.
Fucking dog with wings.
Project whatever you want on to him.
All the weirdo animal, all the weirdo animal
characters are the most reliable. Good boy.
Fucking Koromaru,
Teddy, Mona, like all the weirdo
animals. Well, Mona, you know, Mona's good.
Mona's fine.
But, you know, Mona has some moments.
Fucking Mysterious Fox.
It's the shit. Yeah.
No, but but fucking best boy, best boy,
pupper never fucks around, never disappoints.
Anyway, got good skills.
Good reasons to keep him on the party. Yeah.
Anyway, yeah, that's that's fine.
We can we can we can we can begin the exit strategy.
So with that being said,
I mean, whatever, we can just recap.
OK, hey.
What are we recapping?
You know, that's what we do.
Click the button. OK.
Which one?
The the angriest pets.
Oh, that one. OK, yeah.
Hey, go to twitch.tv slash angriest pet.
You catch me like four or five days a week, stream some bullshit.
Usually at 8 p.m.
That's usually Tuesday to Friday, but I might fuck it up
because our two comes out on a fucking Friday.
So fuck my weekend.
Oh, my God. What?
Nanako is the Koro Maru of four.
She totally is.
Holy shit. Yeah.
She's flawless. Yeah.
She's flawless.
She's a pristine.
Holy fuck.
Anyway, man, dojima is great.
He's so good.
See, don't you know what?
Dojima's S link is fantastic
because it's, dude, you're not going to catch him.
They're gone.
This is pointless.
You have to live your life.
So that's a really good example of too bad.
Live with it, right?
But the kids that doesn't make any sense.
They have their whole lives ahead of them.
See, learn to live with it as a thesis statement is is good.
Yeah.
Learn to live with it when bad people are doing the wrong thing
to you is fucked up.
Yeah, that's all it comes down to.
Right. If the thing that is happening to you is not your fault
and bad people are responsible, learn to live with it is an unacceptable answer.
Yeah.
That's that's all it comes down to.
Or in some cases, like everyone at the hospital is now not evil.
Sure, that kid is still dead.
But.
Right. Oh, man.
Yeah, that was a deep cut.
I forgot about that one.
Yeah, sure, that child still died
because this guy was worried about his career.
Yeah, but, you know, things will things will move on.
Yeah, anyway.
Let me fuck.
Yes. So this week, you know,
continuing with those three games over on Willie versus as previously mentioned,
that's a YouTube channel and a Twitch channel.
Yes, streams, games, all kinds of fun stuff.
And I yeah, I finished slapping together the next Willie will figure it out.
Sorry, plague.
I know I'm really dragging my feet on.
Oh, he's mad at everybody.
So the next episode with myself and my friend, Josh,
talking to plague, exposing our our our deepest, darkest,
dankest stories and holding them up so that the gripes may consume them.
So tune into that a little bit later in the week when it goes up.
And one last piece of advice for our listeners at home.
If you're at a medieval times and you see a person who may or may not
allegedly be Randy Pitchford, maybe don't sit next to him.
Maybe don't get your fingerprints on his USB key.
Definitely.
Don't allegedly get your fingerprints on their USB key.
Randy. Randy, no.
His name is Randy, too.
Like, oh, man, like, can you really?