Castle Super Beast - CSB 004: Panic Attacks In Paradise
Episode Date: January 29, 2019Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Pat gets stomped by X, Now Broly is Woolie best friend, and Metroid Prime 4 delays are fantastic news. RESET THE CLOCK. You can watch us reco...rd the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: アニメ「刻刻」OP 主題歌「Flashback MIYAVI vs KenKen」TVver. Metroid Prime 4 development restarted at Retro Studios Jiren, Videl, Gogeta Blue, and canon Broly revealed early for Dragon Ball FighterZ Season 2 Project Z Announcement Trailer From Software president Hidetaka Miyazaki on the possibility of a Demon’s Souls remaster Acclaimed modder Durante opens his own PC port studio Nintendo president says Switch successor / price cut not currently being considered https://www.vg247.com/2019/01/28/fallout-76-leather-jacket-gets-torn-apart-on-twitter/ https://www.vg247.com/2019/01/27/fallout-76-is-getting-pve-content-in-march-alongside-pvp-survival-mode/
Transcript
Discussion (0)
BGM
Just gotta make sure all the buttons
You gotta hit all the buttons
Gotta hit all the buttons, there's various buttons that need to be hit
Listen, bro
And
I know a thing or two about hitting buttons
Let me tell you
And
I know a thing or two about pushing buttons
I know a thing or two about hitting buttons
Okay
Okay, buttons, buttons
Do the buttons that you put on the thing, do they make me sound on the internet?
Yeah, sound is on the internet
Buttons were hit
Uh-huh
And
Audio is being converted into
A wave file or everything
Into a format
Oh, that's super
That is compressing
You know what's
And being injected into people's ears
Oh, that's good
You know what that makes me think of?
Because you started to do the buttons
You started
Buttons
You started to tip it to tap it
Buttons
And you weren't looking at me, you were looking at the thing
And you muttered this vague, personless dialogue
Which may not even be on the recording
Which was, okay, hold on
Hold on
A second
And it reminds me of a clip somebody sent me
From a recent stream that you did
In which you described that the person who came up with the hold on emote
Is a genius
Because that is something that everybody can relate to on Twitch
Did you ever follow up on that statement even a little?
It's your fucking emote
Of course it's my emote
All right, all right
Of course it's my emote
Wow
Do you know where that came from?
I did a fucking stream where I did 90 minutes
Of tech support on my own stream
Because I couldn't get something to fucking work
And you kept saying, hold on
And then people were like, you should make that an emote
And I think my buddy Stride made it
Yeah
Okay
Fair
Fair
No, I had a fun moment where I'm browsing the subreddit
And it's just this clip from what?
Will he call Pat a genius?
Okay, wait, this must be a joke
And sure enough, it's you just absolutely
Wow, whoever came up with that is so smart
So smart
Yeah
And I was like
I was like just nipple rubbing just
Oh, can't wait to bring this up
I hope there is absolutely no follow up to this at all
Because I would be like if I had started that spiel
And you did anything but look at me
With a kind of vacant look
Oh, it's like oh, we all see it coming
It's gonna be a moment
But no, of course, ha
Yeah, it's got legs
That's an emote with legs
It's perfect for many situations
That's what you're looking for generally
The attributes of a good emote
Are the attributes that you lack in real life
And you know
You know what?
I'm sorry, I had trouble hearing you
Over the loud crunch of me opening up
My delicious sugar-free red bowl
Hidden behind the microphone, no less
And if you're trying to hit the visual on this audio podcast
Yeah, well, that's why I opened it so closely
To the microphone
Slurp
So delicious that the sugar-free raises my risk of stroke
Significantly
Mmm
Yum energy drink
Delicious
All right
Good for you
Well
For giving you wings
Yes
Then they had to take that out because
People were like, it lets me fly
And they're like, no
And then advertising agencies were like
Or regulatory bodies were like
You really can't tell people that this thing will make them fly
Because people is fucking dumb
Well, either way
Get into fighting games
Off to a
A rollicking good start
With the
The waves
The waves, the social media waves coming off of that
So
Good times
Good times
Yeah
I'm trying to
Like has there ever been a channel that has just changed its name to
RB Castle Super Beast
Has there been a full on rebrand where the name of the channel itself
Is sponsored
If I had like a joke like shirt or Red Bull hat
That somebody I would absolutely be wearing it right now
Yeah, well that's
For the full effect
The honest truth is like right when that whole
There's a hilarious Twitter war involving Red Bull
That happened earlier this week
I told Red Bull that I love them
And Red Bull did not reciprocate my love
They just said to, you know, keep on
Well the fun part was finding out that like
All this was happening as you were live
So each version of the updated story was greeted with a live
Footage
Reaction
Of you screaming no
Listen
So over the weekend
Red Bull paid attention to Woolly
But not to me
And I was very upset by this
Well, that's cause great minds think alike
And
You know
Legally distinctly alike
Yeah
And
You know
Brands that meme together
Dream together
Fuck off
That's where we're going
Having said the original point that you made
Which was
Sometimes you have to take the L so you can get a win later
I feel is a significant addendum to just straight up play to win
Yes it is
And that was the point
Is play to win is not the first step
You gotta play to learn first
Cause play to win can also be self-defeating
Like Pat that child doesn't know how to play the game
Play to win
Yeah
It helps no one
It was necessary
And it was necessary at a time when
People were coming off of
Arcade culture
With a feeling that like there are certain things that are cheap
And there are certain things you just should not do
It was
It was
It was necessary in a world in which scrub quotes were not relegated
To that one guy's really funny twitter account
Exactly
They were in front of you
Physically accosting you
Yes
Every single time you'd go out to an arcade or play locally with somebody
And you know
At some point
In the mid-2000s
I read an issue
I read a chapter of Vagabond where
Miyamoto Musashi in a bid to
Not get fucking killed
Grab some dirt and throw it in a guy's eye
And just fucking hightails it out of his sword range
And everyone's like
What the fuck
What a scumbag
What is your honor
And he's like
Each shit I'm trying not to die
I'm alive now
You know
And I was like
Oh
Reminds me of this
So over on Quora Gaming
Oh god
What video was this
I forget what it was
It was one of the recent ones
But he interviews an old Korean Tekken player
And describes how
You know
Back in the day
Low kicks
Just
You know
The old guy
They'd really look down on you
If you'd use those low kicks
And I can tell even now
The pro guys who are from that era
They still don't like it
But they're just quiet
They just don't talk about it
So like they're going to tournaments
They're placing top 8 in tournaments
And they're just going like
He's fucking
I can't believe everyone's doing these cheap ass low kicks
I mean
The hilarious thing with like throws
In particular early on
Was that there was no Tekking
Yeah
So throwing was just
Now let's do a history lesson for a second
Massive chunk of your life
In Street Fighter 2
Throws are a crime
Throws are supers
Throws are supers in Street Fighter 2
What is it
The fifth of your life part
A full like sometimes quarter
Depends on the character
There's no Tek
There's like
There's no way to get out of it
The range is extraordinarily ambiguous
And I mean
When they eventually did add Tekking
They only added Tekking
To throws that were like
Physical actual throws
They didn't add Tekking to shit like
Fucking Balrog's headbutt
Which is the real problem
Getting grabs
Ended up being things that were like
No Tek on this
You just gotta mash to get out faster
You're gonna eat damage either way
It was insane
It was insane
Um
Like you remember the guy
Whoever the fucking first guy was
Who figured out
It's like I can do the throw
And then I just walk a little bit
And then do a punch
And then do the throw
And then
And then the situation around the cabinet
Would often escalate
The fight takes to real life
Is what would happen
Particularly for anyone
That's younger than us
Like we're at that point
Where we now have to
Because arcades have been gone for
Longer than some of people
Listening to this have been alive
Right?
It's like
You're taking that man's money
That man put money
It's a little
It's a tiny piece of money
It's a quarter
But I took it away from you
Yeah
Yeah
It became 50 cents very quickly
To be perfectly honest
But yeah
Yeah
That's exactly it
And then you didn't have an understanding
Of like
Why throws need to exist
Right?
There was no thinking about the game
On a level where
You go
Where you think that there's a rock
A paper and a scissors
That needs to occur
You kind of just thought
There was a seven
There was attacking
And there was blocking
And I mean even the kids
That were older than that
There was kids that were teenagers
That still didn't really just
You're just like
You're like no
Why block
And you just do shit
How could you know that
It was the dawn of fighting games
Exactly
Exactly
So what was amazing
Is that the fucking
Akira Nishitani knew that
Yeah
You know
And Capcom knew that
And they understood right away
When they were making the game
That they're like
Oh, just blocking
Is a problem
We need to have a reason
For people to not just do that
For the whole round
You know
And then they came up with throws
But yes
That was absolutely a way
To fucking escalate the situation
And all this led to
A code of like
Nobility that existed in a way
Where
You'd also offer up second rounds
If you won the first one
To guarantee that we can get to play more
That I understand
That was a
Hyper popular house rule
Yes
That I completely understand
Because that was one where
At the end of the day
We both put money into this
And we're not going to get to play it
Anywhere else
And we need training time
So round two was the lab
You were allowed to lab in round two
Because there was no other time
You were going to get to train
So whoever wins the first round
Especially in matches
Where it's like that first round was easy
Basically
But of course
The one thing is like
If you
You had to kind of know
The person you were playing with
Because if you're both just strangers
And you give them a round two
Then it's like
Well now
If they're going to win that second one
Then you lose your quarter
So that was kind of the thing
Is you're allowed to be like
I'd rather keep my quarter
You know
But in general
That round two was the only time
You're going to get to really test shit out
Do stupid bullshit
You see some things that someone else
On another cabinet did
And you want to figure out
What the fuck happened
Or someone told you
Some fucking lie
And you wanted to see if you could do it
Because it sounded crazy
Oh it was a fucking lie
If you pause the frame
When Chun-Li does her fireball
You can see her butt
You totally
Totally can see her butt
Yeah
Or Giles handcuffs
What the fuck
What kind of garbage is that
Yo man
I played a version of the game
That had scorpion in it
And he threw the spear at Ryu
And his head came off
It was crazy
No for real
I played it
I played it out in Buffalo
You didn't
Yo I was
On vacation
With my folks
With Niagara Falls
No I saw a version of the game
Yo
Someone was changing
Mid fight
Into different characters
And in the beginning
They floated up into the air
And then you could do
Air Hadokens
It was fucking crazy
Mike
Why are you such a liar Dylan
Why are you fucking lying
You know what
Bringing all these lies
To class again
I'm thinking back
It's like
That was a wild era
Where it was
At best
Proto internet
Well word of mouth
Was what the game
Of first had
As special moves were hidden
Yeah
You know
You had the cabs
With the fucking things
On the
Whatchamacallit
Yeah but those were almost
Never the whole
Or you'd see some other dirty
Cab that was just
The game was translated into
And you wouldn't get it moved
So people had to go word of mouth
To figure out specials
So you were already
Listening to rumors
And then you get
For Street Fighter
Then you get Jimmy
And Jimmy's just like
I'm just gonna fucking lie
About some bullshit
And I'm thinking about
How that never
I always lamented
That the era
Of the huge
Obviously fake lie
Yeah
That the guy
Seems to believe
Themself
They're so adamant
It was gone
Yeah
But then I realized
It's not gone
Yeah
It just changed
It changed into
Fabricated falsity
So
Hey dude
If you do
Blah blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
And then you can fight
Fucking
Sapphire weapon
You can get
Eris back to life
Whoa
Right
Yeah
You remember that guy
I remember that guy
So that used to
Just be like
I'm full of shit
Blah blah blah
But you had no way
To confirm it
Cause there was always
It was always like
Some ridiculous process
Right
This has now turned into
Hey you do this
Blah blah blah
And you're like
Yeah you're full of shit
Up comes
Here's a video
Of me doing it
Right
That I
Hacked together
With cheat engine
And model rips
Wow that looks
Super real
Right
I mean
Once upon a time
There was
When
My cousin
Marlin came home
And was like
I just got back
From the arcade
Down at
Spot Bowlin
And I seen
Street Fighter
With a new version
And there's
This new girl in it
And she's British
And then there's this
This crazy
Big Native American guy
And then there's a
Jamaican in the game
And I was like
You're just lying
Stop it
Why are you full of shit
And that's my
Why are you full of shit
And he's like
Naw
Because the whole thing
Was our family
And Jamaican
Representing something like
They put Jamaican in the game
Just a stage and everything
And I'm just like
You are
You're just the fucking worst
You're gonna come
And you're gonna lie to me
On the Sabbath
You're gonna lie to me
On the Sabbath Marlin
For real
And he's like
No
And he does like
He goes like
Max out
And he does the whole thing
And he's getting really
Hyped for it
And he's like
You're the worst
You're the oldest
And you're literally fucking coming
To bringing this bullshit
Back to the house
Oh my god
And just lying at all of us
How dare you
On the Sabbath
How
I can think of very few more
Like
Either depressing
Or just like
Angry moments of like
I'm telling you the truth
Just being met with like
Flat out like
Why are you lying
Why are you lying
Like zero fucking shit
Dude there is free
Ice cream
Just talk to that guy
He will give you free ice cream
Right
Trying to trick me
To talk to that weird man
Cause he's giving free ice cream
Like
Bruce Lee is in the game
What shut up
That's a lie
Like a big
Another grappler is in the game
And they put a Jamaican in it
And we're just like
And there's no way to prove this
I can't leave the house
Wait just take a picture
With your phone
Oh no
Zero
There was
I just sat in the house
And went
You lied
And that's the end of it
I'm not even going to attempt to
Look at
And you're like
And he can only give me
Whatever details
Based on the rounds
He you know
Peaked and saw a little bit
So for sure
I didn't see
It was just
Yeah
That remained
In the hard
Lie case
For a while
Until I want to say like
The game pro came out
Where they were on the fucking cover
With the new challengers
Did he grab it
On your face
No I just
I think when we actually saw it
We just kind of were like
Oh shit
Oh fuck
Oh and like
I mean whatever
He wasn't around
Do you apologize to this man
I don't think we ever
Apologize
Whatever
You asshole
Oh he deserved it
Oh yeah
He fucking
He did dirt
What oh sure
Of course
He fucked with us anyway
So he deserved it
But regardless
You know
He fucking
Ah fuck him
Yeah
And then you saw the words
Maximum
The side you're playing on
And then you saw his
Big ass smile
And you're like
Yeah
It's fine
Turns out he wasn't that great
But hey
Hey Jamaica got represented
So
Even though the stage
Kind of looks like Cuba
And the music is a little like Cuba
It really looks a little bit
Like
Like Central America
But it's okay
More than the islands
They tried
They could have done worse
Yeah
We know this
We actually hard confirmed
That they could have done worse
Anyway
So all that to say
That playing to win
Yeah
Is
Is the mentality that needed
To come into existence
So that
People would realize
That throwing is not cheap
Low kicks are not cheap
Low punches are not cheap
Follow up attacks in virtual
Fighter
Are not cheap
Doing the
Jumping off the stage
To chase someone in smash
Is not cheap
Ring outs and soul caliber
Oh
You want to talk
Man
It was like traveling back in time
To fucking 94
When fucking
VF
And soul coward
Ahead in the day
With fucking ring outs
Holy shit
You know what
I'm
I'm still
I'm like
I'm still kind of
Not fully convinced
On the ring outs
You get like
It'll never be gone
Like it'll always be
It'll always be
Hey yeah nice
Good ring out
But in the bat
Initial reactions
You motherfucker
You motherfucker
How dare you
How many times
Have you been ringed out
By a Jackie player
Doing that
Fucking summer soul
And you just go
The whole match
Didn't matter at all
It was just this one
Every decision
It was just him
Holding up back
In that fucking kick
A move that has only
Gotten stronger
Over the decades
Like
I don't
I might be wrong
But I feel
I don't think the first
Guilty Gear ever came to arcades
I'm not sure
No I think it was a PS1 game
I think it was just PS1
It could be wrong obviously
And I want to say
That like
That was probably
A brilliant decision
Because the idea
Of hitting someone
With an unblockable
Not unblockable
With an instant kill
And losing the match
In round one
Is like
Holy shit
You're getting stabbed
Doesn't matter
How bad the move is
Like people are going
To get hit with it
Because it's like
This is not a time frame
When people are thinking
Oh I should probably
Just block when I see you
Activate
Come out
Like 97
Yeah
Early enough
Someone's doing their
Instant kill
And you're going to
Get hit with it
Because you're jumping around
Pressing buttons
Like an idiot
And now you die
And you don't get a second
Round
For bullshit
No way
You're getting out of there
Without a knife in your body
Was Axel in
Guilty Gear original
Axel Rose
Axel Lowe
Axel Lowe rather
I don't think so
I think he was GGX
Okay
Yeah
Because like you take Axel
Maybe yeah
You take Axel
Because remember
His IK is the whole floor
Yeah yeah yeah
That's the one
That's the one
To pick to get stabbed
I mean there's
Yeah he was
He was in the first game
He was in the first game
Yeah
But just
Definitely like
Definitely a good decision
Not putting that
In a place where
Money was on the line
Immediately
That's for sure
When did Marvel 2
Come out?
Like 2001
2001 was
CVS
Okay
Marvel 2
Couldn't have been too far
Because Marvel 2
Was still
It's still needed
Play to win
Because Marvel 2
Is cheap
It is
Fucked up
But so was X-Men vs Street Fighter
When it first came out
Yeah
Anything as fucked up
As fucking Marvel 2
I mean like Marvel 2
Like it all
Like there's
There's infinites
And all kinds of garbage
In those games
But Marvel 2
Just kind of said
Fuck it and threw it all
To the wind
And said
Figure it out on your own
Which they did
Very very very efficiently
But yeah
You had to have
A mentality out there
That was like
Listen
What you're trying to do here
Is win the match
And anything that the game
That the devs put in the game
Is a tool that you're meant to use
If you can
So don't feel like
You should be
Don't think that extraneous
Things should like
Badger you out of trying
To win the game
If you can
Do whatever it takes
Especially in an era
In which like
The devs only had one
Shot to put this in
Because there's no patching
Or you know
You get arcade revisions
But that was a whole fucking thing
Yeah
Right?
It's like
They didn't put it in there
Unless they were pretty sure
You know what
I think the most ridiculous one
I ever encountered was
Was a guy
Who tried to convince me
That running
In ultimate
Mortal Kombat 3
Was cheap
Or MK3 was cheap
Wow
It's like
It's a dedicated
Fucking button
On the board
That's interesting
That's fucking good
That's like
Because in MK2
You can't run
So it's cheap
Like
If you get hit
By Paul's unblockable punch
That was cheap
That's cheap
Unblockables are cheap
Just back back
And fucking Yoshi Mitsu stab
Some in suffering
Ivy's some in suffering
Look how much damage that did
That's cheap as fuck
Yeah
Let's ignore the fact
That that thing has
The most asinine
Overcomplex input ever
For no reason
So
Left to our own devices
We are feeble creatures
That will come up with
Some bullshit reasons
Why
We didn't win
And Johns
Johns are a natural evolution
Right
Johns are a part of humanity
We all have
John inside
And John comes out
I
Play to win
Exists
To fight John
Yeah
Right
And
What a horrible legacy
What's John up to now?
No
Probably not still
Playing Smash Bros
One would imagine
He got out of the game
One would imagine
He made the switch
To Bloodstorm
But
But eventually then
You know
You have to have
Then once fighting games
Stop becoming
Like
I guess what
Once the fighting game
Community is no longer
At the bottom of Blighttown
Yes
Right
We're clothed
We're bathed
We can see
Once we can see
That the arcade cabinets
Are not way down in the pits
No
And you've got to get past
The mask man
Blowing the dart situ
To get down there
And play the games
Then you go
Okay
I actually want to learn
How to play this
Maybe
Maybe I should give this
This cleared out
Blighttown a risk
You know
And you still have to walk
Through the empty Blighttown
That it's not
It's better lit
The framerate is
A little bit better
It's still a pretty sketchy place
Sliding down those ladders
And you're like
Let's go walk down
To those arcades
They're right down there
And
You eventually do that
And it's like
Hey we're more and more
Inviting now
We put up a sign
They'll sign this
Blighttown is crossed out
And it says like
Casuals welcome
New players welcome
And so you're kind of
Fucking edging your way down
Through the muck
And you're like
I'm not poisoned
It's okay
And
I feel like
That's when you need
To have someone tell you
Hey hey hey hey
It's okay
Don't play to win
Play to learn
Because
You're not going to win
Those first couple rounds
Why?
Because you're ankle deep
In toxic
So
That's going to kill you
No matter what
So don't worry about
The losses for now
I'm just thinking back
You remember everybody
Making fun of 0-9ers
By the way
To those of you who don't know
0-9ers are people who
Got into fighting games
In 0-9 with Street Fighter 4
And people making fun of them
Was like
Ah these kids
Ah whatever
So I think that might
Have been the fucking
Most positive thing
To happen to fighting games
In like
Over a decade
Because that
That having to deal
With the 0-9ers
Using big ass air quotes
Is what led to
Casuals welcome
Yeah
It led
Because
Prior
Like 0-8
And prior
Bearing stain bears
That was
No girls allowed
Fucking locked in
Gated community
Of toxic mother fuckers
Oh no
We're staring over
No girls allowed
Bearing stain bears
We're looking down
Through the sign
Like
Mmm
No homers club
So you want to play
At the man says
As he sharpens the knife
Yeah
Eat
Come
You know
Like
It was the kind of place
Where
Hey man
That guy looks new
Okay
Fucking rush him
So that he
Fucking quits the game
Like
Like beat him so bad
He never comes back
Was like
The up
Revealing mentality
And 1 out of 30
Might
And then you crush them again
And then they
Yeah
But then
1 out of
50 of those
That come back
A second time
Come back a third time
Yeah
And then you go
Alright
Maybe
But first
Keep crushing him
For a while
And if he's got money
Then you're like
Alright yeah
Only those
With the spirits
That can endure
This weird
Ritualistic
Fighting game
Based hazing
Can play
In this arena
Although
Also eventually
The rich kid
Who had it on
At home
That knew everything
Coming out of the fucking
Womped your ass
And just had
Because he had a lab
He had a lab
Before anyone else
And then it was like
Oh fuck
Oh shit
The game has changed
Q fucking
Tron uprising
Soundtrack
Like that
That got
Way different
When people would come up
With their actual lab time
And then you have to
Then you have to fight against
Like actual
Legit console players
Man
Fuck
Fuck
Oh man
I remember
I remember
So
God
Which one was it
It was one of the Tekken games
Let you
Five
Plug in a control
Five
Right
That's so wild
In the slot
Right
That was so wild
Except
I have never
Seen
A Tekken 5 cabinet
That didn't have those things
Ruined
Exactly
Because
And I always
In the back of my mind
Was like
Arcade players
Making sure
Are they making
Sure
Insurance
That console players
Aren't coming down
To their arcade
Maybe
That's not even
That's the first time
I've actually had that theory
To get there
Not once
Did I see a working
Controller port on those things
Yeah
They were always destroyed
With gum or peanut butter
Or some shit
And gum
I could understand
Right
Oh I'm chewing gum
Peanut butter
That's so wild
Peanut butter with arcade
No again
You're pulling it out of your lunch bag
Because you were that much of a child
I definitely
Yeah
Oh that's okay
You're pulling it out of your lunch bag
That's what's happening
But
The fact that it was fucking
Yeah
It could have been
Deliver it
I never considered that angle of it
What's funny is nowadays
If I were to go back
Like
Now
I've played so much more Tekken on pad
That I would
Absolutely plug a pad in
100% be a pad warrior
And that
It would be super weird
But
Tekken's weird for me
And that I'm right on the middle
It's like
I don't know which
I'd rather play
Because Tekken maps
It's buttons
Perfectly well
To a controller
And you don't have to do
Like your inputs on the stick
Are not so
Over the top
That like
You have to really really worry
But if you're doing Korean
Backdashing
And shit like that
Then like
You fucking
Gotta be on point with it
You know
But yeah
That's
That's possibly why that happened
But all that to say
That
O'Niner's
Play to learn
That whole thing
There are O'Niner's that have won Evo
Absolutely
So
The second best player
In Montreal
For a very long time
Was an O'Niner
Yeah
And that was
That was a very clear
Hey everybody
Shut the fuck up
About your elitism
Like here's a dude
That was like
Brand new
First game he ever
First fighting game he ever played
Was Street Fighter 4
And he's crushing
All of you at it
You were all
You know
Week before his
Tiny might
It was
It was incredible
Shoutouts to Snafu
Dude fucking
Absolutely
Put
Like
Ripped a tear through
The
The local community
With like
Four being his first fighting game
And in fact
It was the one of the first dudes
We ever fought in Bracket
Back at the Dawson tournament
Oh wow
Hey look
I'm getting upset in my chest
It's irrational
It's irrational
But I'm getting
Like
Fucking upset
Right
And the people who couldn't
Move past that feeling
Yeah of course
They'd be like
Fucking mad
Cuz
Man I've been playing this
Shit forever
I can't believe this
Young new upstart
I was
All state back in
Football
You ready for it?
You ready for it?
That was ten years ago
That was
A fucking thank you
In just a couple weeks
Yeah
That was
A fucking thank you
In just a couple weeks
Yeah
That was ten years ago
Ten fucking years
That's wild
Beyond wild
I don't even know
How to like
Yeah
That's beyond setting in
That's just
Just bathed me in it
Cuz my mind
Like oh nine was like
I don't know
Like a couple weeks ago
Yeah
Yeah
Well it's because
And I think it's just because
Like we're the exact age where
Like
Like
Everything before that
Like school years are
Longer
And much more
Like life is so
Your life
You had lived so little life
That every year
Was that
Was a considerable percentage
Of your life
That is actually
The exact specific reason
Why
A year seemed to go faster
Really
Yeah
Because they represent a smaller
Percentage of your overall
Span of memory
When you turn ten
That last year of your life
One ten
Well
More like one sixth of your life
Of memory
Right
If you're considering
Yeah chop the first three off
Yeah they're not
Maybe four tops
So then you turn
You know what I mean
So every year after that
Is like
A huge percentage
Of your entire existence
So when we hit
You know
Whatever fifteen
You're still just like
Fuck like
That's huge
That's a huge part of my existence
You know what
You know what
That reminds me
Oh god
You remember
I don't know
This is everybody
But back when games
You'd be opening up EGM
You'd be opening up EGM 97
Oh hey
Game has been delayed
From this holiday season
To summer
Right
Mm-hmm
Fuck
Oh my god
I have to wait till the end
To the fucking school
Are you
Oh my god
That's
Now it gets delayed
Two years
Oh yeah that's fine
Don't worry man
Right
Right
Yeah
Like
I'm gonna be in grade nine by then
I won't even
Care about Street Fighter then
A new system's gonna be out
Yeah
That was always the one too
It was just the thought
That like
Oh no
What if a new system comes out
Because
That's
Well we
We've talked about the whole
Like
You just
You get the Christmas gift
And that's what's happening
But like
Or not
Positioning
Open negotiations
On the possibility
Of a consideration
Like
Of getting
A different console
You say
You say kids
Or young people aren't smart
I remember
Setting up the groundwork
To get
Consoles
Like
18 months ahead of time
Wow
Right
Just like
Just like
As soon as I knew
The new one would be
Like the PS2
It's like
Man
This
Bull
I mean
Your games look great
Pat
Nothing looks better
You're crazy
I don't know
They're running
They're not making games
For it anymore
It's just like
Trying to get that
And then
Then you go on this
Like
Oh wow dad
Look at that
I remember
The game was Final Fantasy 10
That was the game
That got me at PlayStation 2
I was like
Holy shit
Remember that
Other one
Oh man
That looks crazy
Oh wow
Hey you know
I have like
Two
I saved up like
200 bucks
And it's like
You gotta
Thread that needle of annoyance
Of just like
Okay
The parents already
Been annoyed for a year
About this
Yeah
Are they willing to be annoyed
About it
For another year
No they're not
Can we get a pool dad
Can we get a pool dad
Can we get a pool
I think he gets the picture
Yeah
Yeah
It
In particular
In my case
I definitely remember the
Like
Okay so
What you need to do
Is maximize
The
What I want to call
The shop
Shoppers network
Countdown timer
Okay
Right
Apply that to real life
So
Oh fuck
Oh shit
Gavin's selling his Dreamcast
Gavin's selling his Dreamcast
Okay
And he's selling it
With a controller of VMU
And like
Four of his games
And he's selling it for like
150 bucks
But it's now
It's gotta be right now
You don't understand
No no no no
Like
This is the deal of a century
Troy is already talking to him
Right now
I got
Like I can't
Hmm
Right
And on top of that
And here's the thing
Mom
Like
He also figured out a way
So that he's got these burns
Of other games
So it's like
We're not even gonna have to spend
On the other shit
Because he's got these
These burned games
And like that's already a hookup
Yeah
So it's practically
A fucking thousand dollar deal
Right now
But we gotta get it immediately
Yeah it's like
Okay cool
That's happening right
And it's like
Okay but
But I want
And there'd always be a sort of like
Okay but your next report card
Needs to be like
Yeah
But
So it'll be like
Okay how about that
And it'll be like
That's
That's the months away
Yeah I don't have to think about that right now
Okay
Get it now
Yeah
And then if I fail
Or it's not below
Then you can
You take the console
Take it away
Yeah
And if you mind you're thinking
Well that's one
That's future wooly
Who gives a shit
Of course
Of course
But two
Even if that gets taken away
I still have it now
It's in the house
And it's in the house
I can just earn it back
I remember
Being able to convince my dad
To get
Upgrades for the PC
Because
You know
If we got upgrades for the PC
Made it faster
And got a CD burner
I wouldn't have to buy any playstation games
Anymore at all
Right
And it's like
Bam done deal
Yeah
Big one investment
Now the thing with that
Of course is like
So that goes down
The report card is
Is in
A fucking
Whatever it's in future land
Who cares
But we got it now
And the things are all set up
But only one controller
And it's like
Well hey now
Look
Listen
I mean we got one
And that's cool and all
But
We can go all cane and able
In the household
Quite frankly
Or
Or you know what I mean
So let's just
Shut up a little bit
Pony up a little bit
And we can fucking
Take care of this right now
Right here
Yeah
How about we head out in the back
No contracts
No deals
I don't have to ring this up
On the register
And
Bada bing bada boom
We're taking care of
Yup
There's a day
And then let me head down
To the microplane on the street
Plus another controller
Maybe another VMU
Who knows
Who knows
Two VMUs
Extra storage space
I mean look
You hear the first one
It's beeping all the time
It's out of batteries
That's the problem
That's the problem is
It starts beeping after a while
Right
You can't stop the beeping
What about you
You can't stop the beeping
So we gotta get a new one
So let's get
You get me that
You get me the controller
We get that extra VMU
We're good
We're good
There's four slots there
I mean
Don't worry
Yeah
You don't need that
And then you
Then you get
You set it all up
And that was
Like
Jockeying
Jockeying on the situation
And of course like
Gavin was like
Yeah dude I'll hold it for you
Whatever it is again
Okay fucking just
Not too loud
And now
Not too loud on the phone
And now we live in this
Fucked up universe
In which
The average
Child
That's like
Oh yeah no
My older brother
Or my older sister
Or my mom
Just gave me
Their old
PlayStation 3
Yeah
Or what
And it's like
Oh
That world
Oh your parents are into it
Yeah
So you didn't have to
Hustle it
Cause your parents
Didn't have to
Hustle themselves
Yeah
They just got it
And it's like
Now here's the
Here's the real hustle though
Here's the real fucking
Set up right
Were you able to
Work it in such a way
That
The handhelds
Existed on their
New budget
And timeline
Because that's the
Real tricky shit
If you can follow
The handheld timeline
Separate from the console budget
So
You're fucking living big
I might have been
Able to do that
Cause that's hard
I might have been
Able to do that
I had a thing
Set up
Where it's like
Long term
Christmas
Would have been consoles
Right
Every four
Five Christmases
Bam new console
Right
Birthdays
Cause the trick was
That
I had
My brother and sister
My brother
Played games
Just as much as me
My sister a little bit
So it's like
Oh it could be a gift for all
You know that kind of shit
Yeah yeah yeah yeah
Handhelds didn't have that
Thing because
They're handhelds
They're necessarily
More
You know personal
Right
And I might have
Been able to get that going
Except the first handheld
I aimed at
Was the game gear
Things sucked
Barely played it
Right
Any other attempt
After that was like
But you never played
That other one
Yeah yeah yeah
Ages ago
Fuck this
Yeah yeah
No that's like
If I got
If I aimed at a game boy
Or a game boy color
Fucking whatever
Fucking no problem
But
I missed
See cause that
That's the thing is
Like once
Once it got set up right
Once it got established
With that original
And then
I don't even know
What happened to it
But I didn't have that original for
I had it for a while
And I got it
I went through all those games
And whatnot
But once
Once you had that established
That you're like
Okay
There's
It's a different toy
Yeah
It's not the same as
The Nintendo
No it's very different
This is a different toy
It's
This is coming on the road
In the car
See
Right
I'm quiet
Look at me
Be quiet
Exactly
And that green
That green one right there
That was like
A mischief or whatever
Bullshit
Cause look
This is a pacifier
This is
There you go
You know what I mean
Like no problem
And you basically set it up
To be that kind of thing
And then in addition to that
Of course
Like
You have the fact that
Like
You
If you're willing to go
And like
Buy a game for it
With your own money
That you've gotten
For your birthday
Or whatever
And your brother spends
His money on his own thing
It very clearly makes it
Like this is not
The family Nintendo
This is mine
You know
Like
You know
Like
You know
Like
Come on
What are you doing here
Exactly
What are you talking about
So yeah
You create a very clear
Gap in the two
So that you can piggyback
Fucking expenses
And they don't feel like
You're spending on the same
Thing
Very important
Crucial
Listen
Listen
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We can sit here, we can play our games, or we can go outside to the arcade and play some games, or we can go to the comic book shop.
And look at the magazines about games.
And then in the back they had the TVs running where we then play some games.
Alternatively we could go to the store, look at the games, talk about what games we want to buy or rent later.
Or I can head over to fucking Kingsley's house and play some fucking games.
Like, what do you want?
Or, or, or, I can go to a street corner and shoot meth.
Is that what you want, mom?
Yeah, you know, it actually kind of, actually meth didn't exist at that point in time so I just kind of screwed up.
But, but it actually kind of helped that there was a literal gang roving the streets of our neighborhood,
literally like within the block we were on.
So it was like, yeah, you can go outside and play in the streets, but do you really want that considering the history we've had?
I think the biggest mistake my mother ever made was letting me overhear the words she said to my dad was like,
well, at least he's not hanging out on some street corner with some, some bad kids or something.
When they were like, dad was complaining, all the kids do was staying and playing games.
And I overheard that and that got rolled into it's like, listen, I could go, I mean, we could go hang out and I don't know when I'll be back.
Or we could go to the blockbuster and get a rental for this fucking game.
Oh man.
Well, because once upon a time, like, because here's the thing, like, especially when you live out in the, in the super suburb areas,
there's like, there's the roving bike pack, right?
And that's like in their head, what it was was the kids from Stranger Things,
just doing their laps around town on their bikes.
Having adventures.
Right.
And but then eventually that updated to, oh no, that's a roving pack of gang.
That is a roving murder of crows.
So I grew up.
You can tell because they have the fucking bandana colors on their handlebars.
Yeah, I grew up nearly explicitly in the suburbs.
And like the idealized version that I think my parents thought would exist was, oh, the kids would go ride the bikes and,
and all have fun adventures like the Stranger Things, right?
It's like, you know what that is?
That's a bunch of bored kids.
Yeah.
That for whatever reason can't be at home and they're bored and they're going to get up to something.
They might be, I don't know, huff and paint at your local playground or whatever, but they're bored.
Like I'm still, if I see like a bunch of kids riding bikes and they look bored, that makes me like, I don't like it.
Yes, because the deal was like the same kids that jumped my fucking brother,
the same kids that fucking ended up stabbing a dude near the metro where we lived,
were the same guys that also rode their bikes to chase another dude through the park that was across from us
and like fucking like jumped them at the end of it.
But it's like the bike thing is not the Innocent Stranger Kids thing anymore.
That's gone now.
So outside is now actually like a random battle zone.
And, you know, you still need to let us travel and learn how to fucking wander the overworld because you got to get those skills.
The only reason anyone would ever be outside is because it's too fucked up to stay at home.
So think about what those people are like.
Yeah.
No, it definitely, parents needed, they pushed off that update, the PVP update.
There was a PVP update to the world and they were like, now I'll install it later.
I'll install it later.
It's like, nah, it's happening now though.
Like, I still go out and hang out with friends of mine at elementary school, like at the local park,
and you know, whatever, just hang out and be stupid kids.
But it's like, every time we were not at home playing video games and we were playing outside,
we were doing some stupid shit.
Like, stupid, stupid fucking shit that I'm shocked.
Like, no one got, like, killed.
You know, just like, hey, let's see if we can jump off this thing.
Why?
Because we're stupid kids and we're bored because our parents all kicked us out of the house on Saturday
because they don't want us playing video games or possibly other reasons.
But like, hey, you know what my favorite one was?
Hey, let's get the big, let's get Daniel.
He's big, right?
Let's get Eric and tell him to hug the center of the fucking merry-go-round.
Yeah.
And let's see if we can all fucking spin it so hard that he flies out.
Yeah.
Guess what?
You totally can.
Even children can spin that shit real hard.
Death trap, death trap fucking playground also being a thing.
The one in particular, and I never fucking got over it, but it's just like,
yeah, you see those as monkey bars designed for kids to swing off of
and occasionally fall and break their shoulder at worst.
Yeah.
What you don't see is that as the jump on top and run on the bars while we're playing tag.
Ooh.
And that's what we-
Nobody was doing that or-
Oh, that's what we were doing.
That's fool.
We'll all see.
It was fucking like, yeah, it got super fucking dicey.
Running on the bars, like that level of bullshit.
I'm like, you're gonna die if you fucking fall off of that high.
Like you hit your neck and you're done, you know?
But no one fucking saw that in the design.
They didn't think that would happen, but it totally did.
We found ways to play super dangerous on the quote unquote safe shit.
I'm sure I've told both of these versions at some point somewhere,
but it's ages old and this is appropriate.
There were two games in my local neighborhood.
One was specific to my elementary school.
I later found out that I look back on and go, oh, these were fatality machines
that somehow never caused fatalities.
Must be some natural effect of kids being bouncy or some shit.
One was this was not unique Sandman.
Okay.
Which was Marco Polo on the sand playground.
Right?
Okay.
So, you know, you have the playground thing that has like the corridors and the jungle gym
and the slide.
It's all connected in a shit.
Yeah.
So you're playing Marco Polo with three or four kids and with the Sandman.
And it's under Marco Polo rules.
He says, Sandman, when you're on the sand, you're out.
Right?
But just like Marco Polo, that kid's got to close their fucking eyes.
But you're running around this playground.
Oh my God.
Blinds.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
You're climbing on top of shit to try and catch the kids.
Yeah.
Remember the domed plastic ones that were like pyramids?
Yes.
They were super hard to get on top of.
Yes.
People are standing straight up on top of that.
Eyes closed.
Right?
Okay.
Well, no, they can, they can have their, but you're trying to climb on top of it with
your eyes closed.
It's like, Sandman, God fucking forbid you fall.
But like just running around, just clip your own head or something.
Right?
That's bad.
But nothing.
I've never even heard of this being played elsewhere.
So it might have been my elementary school was fucked up.
We called it King of the Hill or King of the Man.
I forget what the fuck it was.
But you ever see those monkey bars that are just big arches?
It's like just a single parabolic arch.
Yeah.
Up and then down.
Yeah.
Right.
It's like, and then, you know, there's tall ones and there's shorter ones.
So this one was, I don't know, it was a taller one.
And I was like, I don't know, like it seemed like a million feet tall when I was a kid.
It's probably only like eight feet tall total, right?
To the point where you could hang from the top.
A million feet tall.
You could drop.
It's like three or four feet, right?
So the game that we would play is all the kids would line up on one side or the other.
And it wasn't teams.
It was just whoever could stay until the end of recess.
And you would hang at the absolute top.
Two kids would hang and face each other.
And the goal was to kick the other kid in the face.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Until he fell off.
Yeah.
You remember that?
Well, we did that, but it wasn't kicked the other kid in the face.
Like American Gladiators style, wrap around and like use your weight to yank them off the
bars.
So that's what it started as, right?
When I first started to go to that school, but then God, who then the meta gets formed.
And then you realize kicking for the, for the wrist is a better, a better.
Yeah.
So then I figured out a kid kicked another kid in the face and that kid dropped like a
sack of potato.
And everyone, oh, he won.
He won.
That's the new meta.
And then, and then it became like, are you kicking him in the face?
Are you trying to smash their fingers?
Play to win.
I would usually go for the fingers.
Since I was so short, I was really short.
It was so much more easy for me to get my legs up high and just crush those kids' fingers.
Like, what are you, what are we doing here?
We wasting time trying to do the wraps?
Yeah.
Yeah, for sure.
I mean, if you felt like fucking going all in, you could just Donkey Kong it and like
completely wrap and then put your whole body on it.
And now you're both going to fall because he's not holding up both bodies.
And then whoever touches the ground first loses.
And then I remember fucking, I always mentioned this one kid at my elementary school,
Daniel, he was so much bigger than the other.
He was, he was like a foot taller than everyone else.
He created the ultimate meta because it was only for him.
And him is, he's strong enough to hold himself by one arm.
Oh, and then just take his hand and unclass your hands.
Yeah, you can't.
There's no coming back from that.
And what are you supposed to do?
Yeah, there's no coming back from that.
Fuck you.
Oh, yeah.
He's a really nice kid too.
He's just so much bigger than everybody else.
It was like, yeah, no, he wins.
You win.
That's, that's, that's the grappler.
100%.
Um, yeah, no QA, no QA on the playground.
On playgrounds.
On playgrounds.
Nope.
Nope, nope.
That playground's where I lost a bunch of my teeth.
Oh God.
How many times did I fucking twist my ankle jumping way too high off the swing?
You know, you do, you stand up on the, you do the normal swing and then you stand up
and then you stand up and you do the thing where you pull back the chain and your feet
like bend so that you get that extra swing.
And you're going, you hit and then the parabolic arc that you're swinging on is one where
you're now hitting back at the, what is it?
You're doing 180 degrees.
Yeah, you're at the nine o'clock.
Yeah.
You're at the nine o'clock.
And you're going all the way to three o'clock.
And your stomach is lurching because you're now completely at zero.
There's a really horrible feeling when you hit like straight horizontal.
Yes.
Where the, the, it's right before the downswing.
Yeah.
Where you're no longer being pushed back into the seat by the force and you're actually
falling.
Yeah.
And if you don't hold on tight with your arms.
You're straight down.
You will just fall straight down.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Gravity like there's, there's, there's the fall and then there's the chain correcting
that, but you have your feet are loose on the, on the actual swing itself.
And like, unless you're fucking really, really tight in there, which people have absolutely
fucked themselves up on.
And then of course, once you get that high, you could, if you fucking, yeah, you can start
like dusting your feet on the bottom, like a huge pussy.
Yeah.
Or you fucking go to for that jump or you can do neither and instead you can screw up
and wait too long to go for the jump in which case you kind of go straight up.
But then you just immediately drop down and fall on your face like an ass.
Very like a video game where you're swinging on a fucking Donkey Kong rope.
You have to do it during the forward momentum, not the upwards momentum.
You know, and, and if you get the forward one going, then you can land in the bushes.
So, you know what?
It's pretty fucking safe.
I remember like, I love the swing.
The swing is one of my favorite pieces of playground equipment.
But hey, Pat, let, let other people have the swing.
But once you hit a certain speed, they can't make you get off the swing.
Oh yeah.
Because you're just a fucking projectile.
And your feet are decapitation machines at that point.
Like what are you going to do?
Are you going to walk near me to try and stop me?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're just like, no, you're not, no one's going home until somebody does the fucking
twister on it where you got to sit and spin and spin and spin and spin and spin
and see how high you can get that chain to go.
And the answer is pretty high.
Pretty fucking high.
And then based on it being that high, how fast are they going to spin on the way down?
Pretty fast.
But can you hold on as you spin?
As you spin death, death spins.
Can you hold on?
And if you decide to lean back, are you leaning back so hard that your head's going to hit
the metal bar that is actually holding the swing up to begin with?
I think the worst part about it is that if they tightened it, if you got really high,
the spin wasn't the problem.
The problem is that thick chain does not wind equally.
Even so you would drop.
So you would be spinning as fast as possible.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then you would bounce because the chain would be snapping.
Yes, yes.
And it's like, fuck, this is the...
Bad idea.
Let's do it again.
Absolutely.
What else are you going to do with it?
The swing has two functions.
I felt...
I feel that as I got older, my body became dramatically more fragile.
Well, yeah.
And that sucks.
That's...
I don't appreciate that.
Durability go down.
I remember being a child and falling all the way down the stairs.
Like a full flight of stairs.
Yeah, whatever.
I'm terrified of falling down the stairs now.
I'd probably die.
I mean, I used to slide down the stairs like face and back.
Yeah, whatever.
But it doesn't even hurt.
But at the same time, those were cushioned.
Those were not curtained.
A fucking...
What's it called?
The carpet.
Carpeted.
Those were carpeted stairs.
It was never a big deal to begin with.
But no, if you fell downstairs now, that is the end of you.
Something that used to be a bouncy platform is now spikes.
Well, it's because I think back to...
Hey, uh-oh.
You mentioned twisting your ankle, right?
I landed wrong off some ridiculous jump, right?
Twisted my ankle.
Ah, whatever.
I'll walk it off.
It'll be fixed by an X period.
Right?
Right, right, right, right.
I fucking walk and put my foot on the sidewalk, a little goofy, and my ankle goes...
And I'm like, oh!
Oh no!
Oh, did I just fucking break my ankle?
Oh, shit!
I can't afford that!
I need my ankle!
Ah, ah, ah.
And of course, it's fine.
I have not broken my ankle ever.
But still, it's like, no!
I'm terrified!
That doesn't work anymore.
That's what that's supposed to do.
Yup, that happens.
You're at that time.
Durability does not re-fucking...
You don't re-up that shit.
That number stays low now.
I drank so much milk as a child.
I drank milk as my primary liquid intake because someone told me that it builds strong bones
and that'll help me grow.
Do you remember when...
I had like...
I'm pretty fucking short as an adult male,
but I was even shorter by comparison when I was younger to other kids.
Do you remember when it came out that milk was bad for you?
That too much milk was actually awful?
And everyone just fucking lost their minds?
Because it's like, what the fuck have I been doing?
So that came after I had to stop drinking milk for almost a year
because I went on the Accutane.
And if you drink milk while you're on the Accutane, you can just spontaneously die.
Oh wow, okay.
Wow.
So you have to cut it back down to 1%.
And if you're drinking 1%, then why even bother?
Shoutouts to Lewis Black and his milk good for you, Bitt.
Nobody fucking knows.
Are eggs good for you?
I saw an article five, six years ago that was like,
oranges may cause cancer and I almost threw myself out a window
because we're oranges?
Oranges!
The most inoffensive fruit ever made!
Turns out everything causes cancer to some degree
in the sense that it can kickstart cancer cells.
You know what's really funny to me?
When you get some keyboard or mouse or fucking whatever
that is being explicitly sold in California or whatever
and on the label it says this item contains carcinogenic materials
because California has some advertising law
that if there's any chemical at all
You have to look at it.
And it's like, yeah, I'm not going to eat this mouse.
Yeah, right, right, right.
State of California.
I don't know what you guys are doing down there on the west coast.
Don't know how to do shit.
Oh, why don't you tell us what you were doing?
Boy, that was a long fucking nonsensical rambling interlude.
This week? That's good podcasted right there.
You know what?
That's good podcasted.
That's what you call it fucking.
That's doing it.
All of this reminiscing about my youth has me thinking.
Reminiscing about my youth.
Reminiscing about like tricking parents into buying you video games.
I remember being 11 years old
and holy shit that brand new game, brand new.
Holy crap.
It's like 50 bucks.
Crazy is sitting right here in this micro play used for $30.
Now, mom, I know it's really violent, like outrageously outright,
but I'm mature.
I'm a good kid.
I don't get into fights like my brother, right?
So can I play, you know, I'll buy it.
It's cool, right?
And that's how I got Resident Evil 2.
You talked her into it.
Yes.
You didn't, you didn't play one.
I played one later on Christ.
I want to say I actually played one later on the Saturn first.
That's why you never talk about it because you literally started with two.
Well, that and Resident Evil 1 on the PlayStation 1 is a significantly worse game.
Of course it is, but it's still the beginning of the franchise.
So I always would assume that, okay, I always just assumed it was like this is a Sonic 2, Mega Man 2 situation.
It is.
It is.
As well.
Okay.
But, but like you still started it.
It is.
It is very much a Mega Man situation.
Okay.
Where Mega Man is the shit, but it's like, oh, it's kind of bad, but it's the shit.
And then Mega Man 2 comes out and it's like everybody shut up, get on this.
Okay.
Give me a number this week.
This week?
Yeah.
And I'm going to go get my, my next drink.
17, 18 hours.
Wow.
All right.
Um, I've beaten it four times since Thursday night.
Each configuration?
No.
So, and here's the fun part.
Capcom was kind enough.
Thank you, Capcom.
Everybody at Capcom.
You guys are great.
Thanks, Yuri from Monster Hunter.
Thanks, Kellen from Resident Evil.
And thanks, uh, the, what's it, 47 productions or whatever the PR company they use.
You guys are very nice.
Got back to me on time pretty much every time.
Very kind.
So they gave me a code so I could play it Thursday night, like eight o'clock prior to release,
which was great.
Right.
However, Capcom, when they send you a preview code, they send you just a fucking retail beta
testing code.
Okay.
Right.
So if you already own the game on Steam, it won't go through.
So you have your set, you have your second account.
Okay.
So in order to play through it on that.
Okay.
So in order to play it early, I had to play it on my second account.
And because Resident Evil has cloud saves, you can't transfer the saves from one account
to the other.
So I streamed myself doing, uh, Claire and then Leon.
And then I was like, I'm very tired.
I've streamed like 17 hours.
Oh wait, no.
17 hours is just what it is.
Just what I streamed.
I then beat the game twice more to catch up my main account to the account I had streamed
on.
So it's probably closer to like 25 or 30.
So you had to replay on your main.
Yeah.
To have it on your main.
Claire and then Leon, which I got an S rank on one of them.
No, I got an A rank on one of them, which made me very happy.
And, uh, are, and then did you do like the honking tofu stuff?
So, uh, I, I have not streamed it since Friday night.
So I'm going to do honk on stream and tofu on stream, if I can beat honk, because you
have to beat honk to get tofu.
And I'm also going to do the other two variations as well over the coming week.
Um, there's a lot to talk about that game.
So I'm going to try and keep it concise.
I like the part where the old line where it's like, Oh, there's, this must be her boyfriend.
And then you look at the update and it's just a fucking doggie.
They changed it to a dog.
That's super great.
Because they don't want reasonable characters to ever, ever, ever be romantically involved
with anyone.
Anyone, including each other.
Resident Evil is one of the most bizarre sexless universes ever.
There is zero sex, right?
There is zero sex.
There's zero romance.
It is baffling.
Even though it is very clear that Ada Wong is extremely not a virgin.
Yeah.
And into Leon and he's into her, but the best you get is watching that awful, awful, awful
piece of shit, uh, CG movie damnation in which she offhandedly references a night they spent
in some country when they weren't trying to kill each other.
Okay.
Right.
As a evil spy and government agent.
So there was a reference to.
There was a reference to.
A-sexing.
But like Claire, Chris, Jill, these people, they are married to taking down umbrella
and or bio weapons.
I'm ovulating right now.
No way, dude.
Um, that is.
Oh God, Leon.
Just like fucking slam me, Leon.
No way.
I only want to go after women that don't want me.
All right.
It's your thing.
So.
Resident Evil 2, if anybody is aware of me at all in any context, I have a strong affinity
to that game.
It is a one of them formative video games that I played in my youth, but also that original
game is fantastic and it's fantastic now.
And I've been excited for this remake for a long time, but also a little nervous because
you're whenever you retouch something like this, you're kind of playing with fire, right?
It could be the best thing ever or it could be disastrous or they could make changes that
you get, but you're like, I'm not happy with that.
Right?
It's been a long time.
Like, oh, what if they kind of has to be what if they make it too modern or they change
that part because that part's weird, but I like that.
But you know that kind of stuff.
So the greatest praise that I can possibly offer this game and it is high praise.
Indeed.
There's a clip of me out there saying it is that when I was playing through it, it felt
it gave me the same feeling that the original gave me back when I played it in 98.
The same type of tension, the same type of anxiety, the same type of fun, the same type
of excitement, like because it took away what you memorized it.
No, not because of that.
Like that is a factor, of course, but that factor immediately passed as I beat in the
game.
Now it that the feeling remained even on the replay.
And that is they were how to put this, you can you can remake something in which you are
slavish in your devotion to its original design, or you can remake something in which you are
slavish in devotion to its original intent, right?
That second one ends up being the case here.
And I think it was the right decision.
They do things like how about this, the very first liquor that you meet in the game, right?
You've talked about this a couple of times, right?
And it's repositioning.
They've repositioned it later.
And how they make the moment work despite the camera not doing the thing.
They reposition it back to where it used to be later in the game to fuck with you, things
like that.
But so for example, let's take Mr. X because I'm sure everyone's Twitter has been blowing
up with Mr. X meme.
Yes.
Because he is, he, I assume there's great moments with him now.
Scrub quotes.
There's now Mr. Scrub quotes X, which is my favorite rebranding ever.
I mean, he's what he was before, right?
He's the guy that comes in fucking, chases you down and fucks you up, right?
He is the best example I could possibly give to what this remake is about and why it works.
In the original, Mr. X, which is not actually his name, that is a fan name.
Really?
That was never canon?
That showed up first on the toy.
It was never in the games ever.
It was only on the toy.
Even the Resident Evil Archive books don't mention Mr. X.
It was then taken from the toy into the novelization by S.D. Perry.
But then people started to call him that just like people, just like how every, okay, think
about it this way.
What's the emperor's name in Star Wars?
Palpatine.
How do you know that?
Because episode one.
No, because it was on the toy back in the 70s as Emperor Palpatine.
Okay.
It's not in Star Wars.
The word Palpatine is on it.
But everybody knows that and then they later canonized it, right?
In this, he's just tyrant.
That's just his name is tyrant.
It was always tyrant.
But fuck it.
What he calls a Mr. X is Mr. X.
So Mr. X in the original, he only showed up on the second playthrough.
And he showed up seven or eight times depending on the character that you play.
He would just appear in a room.
The room was always the same.
But because it was, it was changed from the first playthrough, you could never be certain
when he'd be around and we'd scare the shit out of you, right?
You'd walk out of the press room and bam, he comes through the wall.
Holy fucking shit.
What are the characters in the game referred to him as?
Ah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Yeah.
That fucking thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Usually they refer to him as not you again.
In game, in RE2, he has a model designation, which is the T103 or OO, depending.
One's that one's his type and one's his model.
So in the original game, there were seven or eight rooms that he would appear in and
they were scripted cool events.
There's one in particular where you're like kind of a factory area and you look on a,
you look on a video screen and you see him walking up to security camera and then he
punches it.
But that is the security camera that is like 10 feet away from you.
Okay.
So you turn around and bam, he's there, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Now the problem with Mr. X in the original was that he showed up in seven or eight rooms
as scripted events every single time and he couldn't leave those rooms.
So you very quickly realized, oh, just run by him.
He'll give you a little tap and then hit the door and he has disappeared, right?
But to the player playing in 1998 without use of a guide or the internet, it felt like
he was following you around because he would appear randomly and he'd fuck you up and screw
up your plans, right?
So they take that feeling, not the design of just putting him in scripted locations
and then they transferred over to this one where that he shows up in the exact same spot,
the same hallway.
You see him, you turn that hallway and there he is.
But now he is actually following you around.
Oh.
And he is coming through doors and you can get really far away from him, but he's always
in the RPD.
And you can run back.
And you can turn a corner and oh shit, there he is.
Oh, okay, okay, okay.
And it's about chasing the feeling, not about chasing any specific mechanic or layout.
Teleport to the other scripted locations?
There is three or four scripted locations, but those scripted locations are where he
shows up.
Like basically when Mr. X appears, he shows up and he is your problem until you advance
far enough into the game in which he is no longer your problem until he shows up later,
right?
In the sequences, after he's shown up, he is a roaming entity until you figure out what
the fuck you have to do.
You get to another section.
Yeah.
Yeah, okay.
Or you finally solve a puzzle and that was the sequence that he was done in, right?
He also, and I can't confirm this because I don't have the debt, but it appears that
if you get so far away from him that it will take him minutes to find you, they will teleport
him closer to you because like the police station is relatively large.
So I would lose him in like the first floor on the east end of the police station and
they get all the way across to the second or third floor on the west end.
And it's like, okay, it will take him minutes.
Just to walk over here, okay, he's right there, shit.
And it's fascinating because it takes a game in which like survival horror is all math.
It's all like I have this, this many resources and there are this many enemies and I can
avoid them or I can use those resources, whatever.
And enemies can be dealt with eventually with total mastery.
Walk by liquors, they won't attack you because they're blind.
Zombies can be juked, right?
Or even snuck past.
But not when you hear, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, right?
The best part about him is that he shoves enemies out of his way to get at you.
He will like, he'll walk by and like backhand a zombie just to move them out of his path.
Is there an actual, like, can you, I don't know, like use a weapon to slow him down?
So the game does, so in the original you could down him.
You could down him.
He doesn't like grab a zombie and chuck it at you or anything.
No, okay, okay.
But in the original you could down him and he would drop ammo.
And the idea would be that he would give you back the ammo that you probably spent on him.
In this you can still technically down him for 30 seconds.
And then he will, he, you down him and he takes a knee and he'll have his, a breather
and then he will get the fuck back up.
And that's it.
That's all you get.
They, they do a lot to show off how invincible he is in like with visual touches.
If you hit him with a handgun bullet, it visibly ricochets off his coat.
Okay.
So it's like, oh, okay, that, that, it, it does technically damage him.
It very little, but it does, but it becomes very clear in any kind of like attempt to
get him.
You are wasting ammo.
This is a complete waste of ammo.
Yeah.
Just run.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's awesome.
Just all these little, like he only shows up, you know, three or four sections and the
section depends on what, if, like, if you're, you know where you want to do, what you want
to do, there may be 20 to 40 minutes, right?
But they vary up those sequences because in the original you went through the RPD, you
killed everything.
You went to the basement and you came back to the RPD and now the RPD is now filled with
liquors instead of zombies mostly, but you didn't spend much time here.
It's a similar progression, but with Mr. X chasing you around, it complicates things.
Okay.
I have the route planned.
I have this room, this room, this room, and they are clear.
Everything is dead.
This is my safe path to these five rooms, except there are narrow hallways and Mr. X is right
there.
Shit.
Plan fucked.
Your plan is now fucked.
So now you have to either think, do I want to try and get past him or do I want to brave
the more dangerous areas that I left to fate earlier?
Now you said in previous games he would knock you down and then you could just run past him.
Yeah, he'd give you a little pop with his left and you'd run past him.
This time around?
He gives you a significantly stronger hit than a little pop.
Okay.
He winds back and floors you, which the damage isn't the problem.
The problem is that you go into a falling state and it knocks you back like four or five feet
as you fall to the ground and then get up and then by the time you get up, he's walking
back towards you again.
So just running past him for the little tag is not worth it.
The game feels unbelievable.
It plays extraordinarily well.
Aiming and shooting is genius, in particular having to hold your reticle for long periods
to simulate stopping and shooting like the old games.
Please take a shit ton of damage, just tons and tons of damage, which makes you think
about leaving them alone in general visually.
I'm sure you've seen this, Wolves.
The game is immaculate.
It's so gorgeous.
It looks so good.
And a detail that I only figured out, well I didn't figure it out.
I just noticed it, is that Resident Evil games don't have huds like the good ones, they have
pause screens.
They have a menu screen and they have a pause screen.
That has all your HUD.
But when you're playing them, they don't actually have huds.
Yeah, wasn't that part of the whole making a movie feel?
I don't know.
I thought it was.
I really don't, but that was an element that I didn't fully appreciate back in the old
days and I sure as fuck appreciate it now because you have this amazing super high def
thing and the only time a HUD shows up is when you point your gun at something or go
in your menu and when you take damage, if you didn't actually decrease your health, you'll
just see damage on your character.
If you did decrease your health, you'll see the little fine or caution or whatever show
up at the bottom of the screen and it'll just show up for a second, just to show, hey man,
you took some damage, you're careful.
And in addition, you will clearly be like limping afterwards so, but yeah.
Yeah, well when they redesigned the series with 4 and up, that's when like you got your
HUD showed up because it's more action game HUD.
You need more.
The game's pacing is fantastic.
Probably the weirdest thing that I didn't expect is they took the sewers, which were
like three rooms in the original game.
It's like a third of the game now.
It's enormous.
It's a whole section of the game and the game is much better for it and this is really weird.
They took a boss out of the game to make it a regular enemy and it's way, way better as
a regular enemy than as a boss.
Is it Yon?
No.
Yon's the first one.
Is it the spider?
No, the spiders aren't in.
Spiders got taken out.
Spiders and the crows got.
Completely gone.
Got taken out.
Yeah.
Replaced?
Nope, they're gone.
Just less enemies.
Yeah, so here's the thing.
Some people were, there was some wailing and gnashing of teeth over the removal of the
spiders, over the removal of the crows, and over the wholesale complete rework of the
plant enemies.
The spiders are in two rooms in Resident Evil 2 and one of those rooms is exclusive to
Leon.
They have never successfully attacked anyone and you never, ever, ever got poisoned by them.
They were literally just there to be there because they were an RE1.
I'm like DMC1 spiders, actually, if you think about it.
The spiders, sorry, the crows are in one room in Resident Evil 2 and they're not even there
in that room on the B scenario.
Losing those enemies means nothing.
Like it is, it is a, like I was actually way more worried about the rework of the plant
enemies because the plant enemies, their big plant monster, IVs that shoot poison, they've
been completely changed into a new enemy that is way, way better because they're regenerators
now.
Okay.
Like they are, be pinpoint accurate, you have to burn them, like they're fucking great.
Uh, doggos?
They're absolutely there.
And due to the new way the game works, they are way more dangerous than they used to be
because hitting them is tough.
Yeah.
So we talked last time about like the theory of what they might be like considering how
all the work that went into the regular zombie.
Yeah.
They're not durable, but it is very difficult to hit them with like handgun bullets and they're
fast.
Wait for midair dive?
No, they're diving is way too fast now.
Just try and just shoot them.
Okay.
Just shoot all of them.
Okay.
Probably the only thing I dislike about the entire game is they, so ha ha, zapping system
and scenario system, right?
So you had Leon a, Claire B, and vice versa.
That is still miraculously in the game.
It's, it's, um, shout outs to incomplete reviews.
Yeah.
It's, oh my God, dude, that IGN though, why I'm fucking like, you, it's like, you could
have telegraphed it coming because you're like, this is a game where is this game going
to blow your ass out if you didn't do it properly?
Then you're going to have this problem.
So I want to point out when you beat the game, the game gives you a big splash screen that
says, Hey, try second of run to see the ending near, near everything.
Yeah.
So we, like when now we can firmly say now that it's, that this is still happening that
it's like, look, safe to say that until the game blows your ass out for not doing this
properly, expect that every game is being played this way and everything's being reviewed
this way because you would never know in the meantime, you know, and then, and then occasionally
once every four, three, two, once a year, a game will come out where like, if you didn't
actually do the thing, then you get your ass blown out and everyone makes fun of it.
And then you go, oh shit, and you got to revisit it, but assume that the next game being reviewed
is going right back to the same old.
Oh, absolutely.
Well, you know, the, the, the IGN reviewer that did this is the guy who reviewed that
shooter last year, the, the shmup and was complained that there was no real final boss
and no ending.
And the developer was like, that only happens if you play it on the easiest difficult.
Same person.
Yep.
Fantastic.
So yeah, just right back to it.
We're not, we're not.
Don't miss a beat.
Great.
So that, that thing is still here.
There's still like a scenario where you start as one plays the other and the second one
gets the true final boss kind of thing.
It's weird cause events.
So they talked about how they wanted to like simplify the scenario so that you'd have a
canon, like a clear view of what happened, right?
Cause in the original game, there's a, there's a storyline where Sherry doesn't get infected.
There is a Sherry.
There's a storyline where she does arcade bullshit, right?
Yeah.
And here you have the weird problem where it's like Claire fought that boss and knocked
it off the thing with the crane.
Then Leon came by 10 minutes later and the area was magically undistroyed and fought
the same boss and knocked it off of the crane.
What does this mean?
The other character got horribly injured and then died, but then got back up to run over
to help this character.
Like events are very logically inconsistent and it's even weirder because in the second
playthrough, the other character leaves you notes to say, Hey, I went on ahead, come follow
me.
But how am I following you in the train that you took to get there that stayed here?
What the fuck?
Like it's actually really confusing.
In Mbison story mode, getting his ass beat by every single street fighter.
Yeah.
Except, except there's, there's one part that's really, really weird.
And it is a character dies halfway through the game.
And that character's never seen again for that character's playthrough, but they continue
to show up in the other character's story.
Right.
Even though it's moving forward and they die, they get fucking killed.
And it's like, wait, what?
Did they die here and then magically survive and then run after Leon in the light?
What the time has convoluted?
So that's the weirdest part for all the painstaking effort and recreation of all these great things.
And they, they cherry picked all the, all like, there's clearly the people on the team
went, we like this event from this part and this event from, so it's this amalgamation
of all the best like moments in RA2.
And then they decided to do the second scenario, but it's like, I get it.
Bosses are harder to design now and they're more expensive design now than before.
So you don't want to just give each character half the boss fights that would be lame.
You want each character to fight both, all the bosses, right?
But like some of the, it's so fucking weird.
It's so weird.
I mean, look, Nero spanks them and embarrasses them and they run away and then Dante comes
back and cleans them up and kills them.
There is a, there is a understandable like version one and two of each fight.
Did they, they did not, I thought you were going to build up to this time around.
They fixed it and made a canon series of events that you can follow.
They just don't care.
So there are some events that are obviously that's the canon version, like in, you know,
this character falls off a cliff instead of like getting punched to death, right?
But on the other hand, it's like, wait, which character fought the boss?
Like which one of these characters is the person who killed the boss?
Right, right.
No, really.
It's kind of important because what they actually went through is a thing later.
Okay.
Right.
It's like Sherry gets infected by the G virus.
That's confirmed.
That always happened.
And we knew that because in six, she has all that weird healing shit as a result of it.
Right.
But like it's, it's weird.
Like the way that those stories interact are genuinely bizarre.
Does it hurt the game?
No.
It's, it's a, it's a, it's something to bother people like me who care about this.
Which that's your fault for doing.
But when the sequels come around, do they act as if they all occurred and the characters
have been through all of it?
So yes.
So Otacon and Merrill are around and I've got this bandana on.
Yes.
It's, oh yeah.
Okay.
Now that will actually be relatively easy because there's no big events that are actually
in conflict.
It's mainly around the bosses.
It's mainly like, no, wait, which of you fought that thing with the crane?
And the other weird thing is that Sherry and Ada both get trapped in the same room at
the same time, but don't see each other.
Okay.
That one's really, really weird.
Okay.
They both get trapped in the exact same room for the exact same period of time and are both
rescued at the same time.
Like, I don't know.
Yeah.
It's, I mean, again, for, in every game purposes, it's like, it's the easiest thing to do is
it's not a problem until you make a sequel.
And then in the sequel, just say it all happened and somehow simultaneously the characters
have memories of all versions.
It's really baffling though.
The thing that's crazy is like it is now less clear than it used to be.
And it used to be unclear, right, like, and they talked about how they wanted to clarify
it.
But yeah, I cannot praise the game enough.
It's exactly what I wanted.
It's exactly what I thought it was going to be.
And it was worth all the whining to get it.
I would recommend it to everyone.
In particular, I want to give a shout out to Max because that game has a hardcore difficulty
mode.
It is outrageously difficult.
And he played through it first on those modes, much to his own like, like suffering.
It is crazy how tough that hard that hard mode is.
Like enemies take twice as much damage and there's half as much ammo.
I heard that Mr. X fucking comes and visits you in the save rooms on hard.
He visits you in the save rooms because hello, what's going on here in this thread?
What's you doing?
You saving?
So in knock, knock, no, no, he won't visit designated safe rooms and he won't walk into
any.
He won't walk into any room that it is.
It would be impossible for you to run past him.
Okay.
Like any room that has like a hallway that is actually too small for you to get past
him, he won't walk into.
Okay.
But the main reason that is because at one point, an area that used to be a safe room
becomes unsafe and zombies can come in and so can X and that's like, that breaks the
rules.
They're not allowed to do that.
Then I heard lies.
Yeah.
All right.
Oh, game's fucking great.
Honk is just as difficult as it used to be, but it's a lot fairer now that you have a,
because the honk scenario was like this big action set piece in the original, but like
that game's controls could barely deal with its own regular game, let alone an action
set piece.
It's much, much fairer this time around.
And one of the more interesting things is that the main game does not have auto aim
unless you play on easy fourth survivor does have auto aim and you can't turn it off because
you're playing as honk and honk has that because honk is the shit.
Yeah.
Okay.
Because honk doesn't miss.
Yeah.
Okay.
And he's got better times.
That's awesome.
Or he's got more ammo and he's got.
Yeah.
I think the main thing is because like you don't have time to aim the same way that you would
in the base game, but it's still like a radical little thing of like, no, honk comes with
auto aim.
Right.
And then tofu, I haven't unlocked because I haven't beat honk, but tofu is run honk scenario,
but you're carrying 30 knives instead.
I saw some art.
And it's like, I saw some art with like the knives all like, like on him, kind of like
fucking and tofu has a bunch of dialogue now.
What?
Yeah.
Okay.
So it's the same dialogue that honk gets like the hunks, the helicopter pilot is calling
in and tofu is responding in a shrill voice modulated Japanese because it's, it's, it's
I heard a high pitched little thing because it's fucking stupid.
Yeah.
And it's a tofu.
Okay.
And he animates like his, he has jiggle on him now.
That's tofu texture.
And when he takes damage, he flakes apart because it's tofu tofu.
I should mention to anybody who is, there's going to be a lot of people that play this
that are like, why a fucking block like what the actual fuck, right?
And it's because in the original, it was the hit box model.
Yeah.
For the game that they tested.
And then they were like, now fuck it.
Now I think when you're playing a remake of something, you, you, you just kind of a see
something you don't get and go, yeah, probably, it must have been there for some reason.
Probably a reference.
So that, that's all fantastic.
The last thing I want to talk about, I only touched a little bit was the music.
The music in the base game is fine.
There's not a whole lot of music.
It's very tense, very quiet.
If you bought the deluxe edition or pre-order it or whatever the fuck it is, you can have
a classic music option, which plays the old tracks as you navigate the game and changes
all the sound effects.
It's surprising how much it changes the tone of the game.
It's genuinely well implemented and feels great.
Doesn't it feel, it doesn't feel goofy.
No, it feels totally at home.
That soundtrack is amazing.
The RE2 soundtrack is phenomenal.
Not dated?
No.
Okay.
It's really shocking how good it sounds and how well it fits even the new visuals to the
point where I'm like, I'm torn over the audio decisions they made in this game.
Most of the game is very quiet.
Mr. X has a theme and some areas will save rooms have a very muted theme and some areas
will have music when you first go into them, but most of the game is quiet, right?
It's very realistic, very tense.
The original game had a track playing in every single fucking room and a lot of them were
really unique and memorable and it makes me think like, I'm torn as to whether or not
they should have just made really high end remixed instrumentations for the new stuff.
I guess just when usually a game is that old, I would expect that playing a new version
of the game with the old OST turns it into like more of a retro feel than it does like
actually hold up.
I mean, it obviously does do that because like, you know, all the nostalgia for like
the main hall theme and stuff like that, but like, no, it sounds really good.
It sounds great.
And on top of that, no clowns farting in this one, right?
So, oh man, somebody sent me a fucking link to this wild discovery about the clowns farting.
Clown farts.
So anybody knows about clown farts?
There's a track in the Resident Evil 1 director's cut that is like the worst track ever made
by humans called Mansion Basement.
Go look it up.
It's mythical in how awful it is.
They suspect that it was recorded with the wrong instruments and they made a version
using all the same notes.
Well, it's MIDI, right?
No.
Isn't it just MIDI and then they put the wrong fucking note chart over it?
No, it's horns.
Okay.
But no, but I mean, like when something is programmed in MIDI, you can change the
instruments.
The notes are just there and you can change like your sound back.
You can basically change it to horns or vocals or whatever you want it to be.
And if you put the wrong ones, then you get something that sounds terrible.
Like clown farts.
But you can change it.
It's like fucking like Mario.
Anyway, yes, you can dress it up to be whatever you want.
Send me a YouTube video of them redoing the composition with different instruments and
it sounds fairly creepy and fine.
It's like, oh, of course the guy couldn't know that they had fucked it up.
One, he was a hack in the thief, but he was deaf.
So he must have just assumed that they did it right.
Oops.
It's a kazoo.
Yeah.
Oops.
I'm very excited to keep playing that game and hopefully fucking continue to actually
beat the difficulties.
And they're coming out with a bunch of free DLC for it on the on the 15th.
We're going to get fucking.
Yeah.
Do you see those costumes?
No.
But yeah.
Like I was looking at these.
I was like, yeah.
These are anyway.
Yeah.
They're putting out retro costumes that are the PlayStation one models of Leon and Claire
to play in the game.
I love that shit.
Yeah.
MGS4 did it.
And it was like, it's super cool.
I love that.
It looks so fucking out of place.
It's amazing.
I love it.
That's on the 15th.
And also on the 15th of February is their ghost survivors mode, which is three little
side stories that apparently have randomized like rogue like elements in it, which man,
they said it was volume one, which feels crazy to me.
Well, I mean, safe to assume this is going to get a DLC tale kind of like seven did.
Yeah.
But seven was all overpriced.
This is all free.
Sure.
But I just mean there's going to be things coming out for a minute.
Well, good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cool.
And then they had a random itemization mode to the main game.
That would be the biggest deal, man.
That would be the best.
Oh, man.
I'm wondering like, anyway, we talked about it a bit last time too, but it's like, how
much can you randomize without breaking it completely?
Well, you put rules in place.
Zombie placement is another.
Well, honestly, all you really need to do is randomize the items because enemies that
are non threats become threats when you don't have the items to deal with them.
Right.
But there is a randomizer mod for reasonable remake on the PC that like, all you got to
do is put rules in place that say, don't make the game logically impossible to complete.
Yeah.
Right.
And I know that the dev team did play that and think was cool.
So hopefully that's coming.
I also played something else and I'll talk about it a little more shortly, which is
appropriate.
Played Donut County.
Yeah.
I sure have.
Do you beat it?
No, I didn't beat it.
But how?
I played a bunch of it, but I just didn't.
How far did you get?
I don't know.
A number of levels in, I suppose.
Well, like five, six levels.
Yeah.
Maybe five, six levels.
Right.
So you're about 70% through the game.
Okay.
It's that short, huh?
I beat it in 88 minutes.
Wow.
I stopped right before.
Like the, the fucking, when you go to the Trash King's Raccoon Palace, that's like the last
level.
Okay.
And I was having fun with it.
Yeah.
I was like, this honestly feels like an inverse Katamari.
Yeah.
And I thought it was really cool and very charming.
Yeah.
And I don't want to call it, I want to call it furry hipster as the new like night in the
woods style.
Yeah.
The world was fun.
Text messages.
Yeah.
You know, that kind of thing.
I have, well, besides the length, I didn't know about that.
I have one like issue so far.
I wanted to, I was going to bring it up once I, once I went back to it and beat it, but
you have, so I guess you, let me know.
What I wanted was not these, I mean, levels in the way that we play through them is fine,
I guess.
But what I actually wanted in, when you say like Katamari is I wanted to like go through
that map.
I wanted a big map that I could donut things into.
Yeah.
I thought that was going to continue and continue and continue so that at the very least after
a couple of tutorial levels, you'd get the ability to like really go through town and
like start fucking donating shit.
So that's the most depressing thing about the game is not that it's really short, but
that I felt like when it ended, it had just gotten started.
Yeah.
If that may, if that distinction makes any difference.
Yeah.
So you do a couple of missions and you're like, Oh, you learn how to shoot things out of the
hole and you learn how to use fire to create a water.
Yes.
You know, you learn a mechanic here, mechanic there, filling the hole and then using that
they start to get more complex.
Not just swallowing.
Not, not really complex, but slightly more.
And then you do you, oh, we're going to do a boss fight and they said, and there's a
couple of levels before that and you're starting to use mechanics and tandem and I'm like, okay.
Yeah.
The game's hitting us.
It's stride.
And then it ended.
Yeah.
It never expanded in any way or got anything more than, like it didn't take me more than
five seconds to think of the solution to any particular thing.
It was just this really pleasant, happy, like, Oh, cool.
I made the thing fall in the hole.
Yeah.
And that's the weird animals are blaming this raccoon because he's a dickhead.
Yeah.
And then it was over.
And I was like, Oh, I thought that was the tutorial.
I thought I had beaten the tutorial and was like getting ready to go out and choose my
levels or like the hole would get really big or, you know, what have you.
So it was just over.
So that's the thing is catamari has a great way of taking a simple mechanic and putting
it into these different areas and then feeding that back to you where you get a time limit,
you know, to like do your best and you can never get it all, right?
So you never end up feeling like, Oh, I've just completely done, done it like to the
maximum and you kind of want to go back in and try, right?
There's a feeling in those individual tutorial levels of I want to go back and play those
tutorials again, right?
Even to do better.
And then, but it still takes you through this mini, mini world progression, mini map progression.
And then it finally frees you at the last couple where you get a nice 16 minute roll
and then a full on half an hour roll.
And that's like, all right, rolling in the world, you know, and, and, um, I was hoping
to hear up the fucking planet here.
Yeah.
And I was, I was hoping to hear that donut was going to build towards that.
I mean, yes, it's been done in the catamari way, but that's the funnest use of this mechanic
is seeing it in full glory on a large scale.
And I guess what you're saying is it never gets there.
Yeah, like, damn, I can think of very, very fun though.
It's really enjoyable.
Very, very few games that have given me this feeling, but like, I think it's the first
one to actually make me go like, wait, what?
Hmm.
Like I, I thought the game was going to go 10 levels in a boss fight, 10 levels in a
boss fight, 10 levels in a boss fight, and each one would ramp up in complexity.
And I beat the boss like, yeah, cool, I can't wait to play the next level credits.
Hmm.
Like it left, it left us a sour feeling.
It left such a bitter taste in my mouth that I went to the store page to find out how much
I had paid for it.
Wow.
And it is $15, which for the feeling of I can't believe the game's already over feels
like way too much.
Okay.
Like way too much.
And we can argue about the length of a game versus its value and all that stuff.
But the game left, even if the game was two bucks, I would have still felt that it ended
too soon.
Well, what I love, I like, I like games that have something where mechanically it seems
really, really basic because it's like, it's a time waster.
Right.
Like slide the whole around things, ooh, you know, like not that much of a challenge or
whatever.
But then you build off of that to create stuff.
And yeah, yeah, if what you're saying is the case, then I guess it never.
You know what's funny?
What?
Like, oh, it looks simple, but then it becomes more complex.
Like, I absolutely love that.
And that's the reason why I hate Fez so much.
Like Fez is one of my most hated games in the past like decade.
Right.
And it's because the Fez idea of fucking around with 2D, 3D space is one of those is one of
the most compelling ideas ever to me because I love that weird geometry shit.
Yeah.
And that stops being that game within like an hour.
And it becomes this fucking Rosetta Stone block pushing shit.
All right.
I was so fucking bummed.
I remember the rent.
I do.
Fucking pretentious bullshit yet at the same time.
Fuck yeah.
The witness is rad.
Everybody fucking completely different developer.
Everybody get in.
Yeah, I know.
But but I'm saying based on the concept of something simple becoming something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, the witness is how you do it.
Like, like draw these lines.
That's not so hard.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
Shit.
Nervous fucking was that triangle mean was that mean sitting in the most peaceful idyllic
location ever and you're having panic attacks.
You're having panic attacks in paradise.
Like that's exactly what's happening.
Don't understand.
Okay.
That was me.
All right.
Yeah.
Fair enough.
I was by the way, you know, you've joked forever about like, haha, I don't need to play the
old game.
I can just play the new one.
Yeah.
You're actually right on this one.
Oh, yeah.
For the first time.
If you go and play resident evil two, yeah, right now, you will get well, you can't travel
back in time and make yourself 10 or 11 years old.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
It's time and feel what it must have felt like to be an adult at that era when RE2 came
out because it nails it.
It is absolutely the equivalent of itself.
Yeah.
Back in the day.
No, folks, folks have aggressively begun petitioning for me to take a crack at RE2.
You should really do something with that game.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something.
Like, but like, I would be fucking fascinated to see that shit.
You want to see me futzen and butzen?
Yeah.
Butzen and butzen, try to aim at something and not knowing anything about how to save
my ammo or what to slice that.
Dude, the most entertaining thing in the world is watching somebody lose all their fucking
gear and go, I don't know how to solve this problem, but I'm going to have to solve it.
I mean, I have some semblance.
That's survival horror.
I have some semblance based on four and five, but those are different games, you know?
I will give you the as you go into this ever for any survival horror, I will give you the
one biggest tip.
Figure out what areas you'll need to come back to.
Do I need to come back here?
Kill everything.
Do I not need to come back here?
Whatever.
No, I mean, to be honest, like considering how much of our following like is super down
and into survival horror, I wish I was in more.
I wish I was in more than I am, but you know, but I do have the outsider's curiosity on
it that much is sure, you know, this is probably the best place you could possibly, yeah.
But I also feel like fuck, I haven't even touched seven yet, and I hear how great that
is too.
So, you know, Resident Evil seven is also a great place to start.
Those games are ironically now very similar, yeah, and are it to shows like no, the third
person is best for survival horror.
First person is best for horror, right?
Third person is best for survival horror.
Would you say that seven is a genre switch?
No, seven is a third, seven is the first.
First person survival.
Yeah.
Not first person horror.
Yeah.
Okay.
The distinction that I make there and I think I would make, there's like tied to a fucking
chair not moving is horror.
There's a shit ton of fucking like, like designations, but I would take the genre designation of can
you defend yourself at all?
At all, yeah.
If the answer is yes, is that defense of yourself resource based?
If the answer is that is yes, then it's survival horror.
Is the primary goal of the game do you scare the shit out of you and you have no defense?
That's just fucking horror.
Is it jump scare, laden, fucking run your ass off?
I would call that panic horror.
So like PT is like, or war, to the max.
If the only mechanic is run and get jump scared, that's just about causing terror.
Fair enough.
Third person is best.
I generally agree overall.
In fact, I would make that a hard, fast rule at all times with few exceptions.
You know what the goofiest thing is in RE7, most of the enemies are those molded.
They're not all that interesting to look at.
In RE2, the zombies are insanely detailed and being in first person, you would actually
get a really good look at how detailed they are.
Like, I don't know, I don't care for RE7's perspective.
I love that game and I think it's great, but the perspective, yeah.
I would very much like to see an RE8 continue in the mold of the RE2 they just made.
I think this is the best version of the formula Capcom has ever created and that they could
fucking just make more of those.
Is it, is it?
So like you do then want to see this go backwards and forwards and basically do the re-re-remake
and do the-
I'd be good with RE8.
And then you said Code Veronica, right?
Is the one that needs the most.
Yeah, so I'm in this place of like, I think RE3 is fine and holds up better than RE2 because
the control stuff and the backgrounds are higher quality, but like, I feel like if you're
going to remake anything, remake Code Veronica because Code Veronica is bad.
So that one needs it more.
But I would honestly just prefer to see them go ahead with RE8 with the third person and
like this style.
Okay.
Okay.
Just not on another boat.
I don't know if you know this, but like, there's so many fucking Resident Evil games
on cruise liners and boats and shits.
I feel like this sensible thing to do would be to branch the first person VR experience
into a different series, right?
I think that VR experience was like a PlayStation thing, like deal, because that VR never came
to anything else.
Just the PlayStation version.
But I just, I guess, I mean, if the first person experience that they created was successful
and it's like, oh shit, we can do more of this, then it would be interesting to see
the franchise because you know, they were mercenaries and not mercenaries.
What was the fucking second series called again for a while?
The second mainline series?
Revelation.
Revelations, right?
So you had this parallel multi-game RE series going on.
So it was like, yeah, you can now just go mainline numbers and then first person games.
Well, that would be a very clear distinction.
To my knowledge, the reason why that happened is because Resident Evil has been worked on
by so many people in Capcom.
There are like five different teams that all purport to know what the real heart of Resident
Evil is.
And they're all wildly different, which is how you got shit that changed as far as Resident
Evil is about co-op with Revelations, to Resident Evil is about hardcore action shooting, which
is about Operation Racoon City, or like, you know, like, yeah, it's goofy.
But this is the way.
Do them like this.
This is a good way.
Okay.
Excuse me for a second.
Let me just confirm that we should, in fact, take a word from our sponsors.
Oh, yeah.
Let's take a word from our sponsors.
Indeed, we should.
Because this week, the podcast is sponsored by Casper.
Hey, Casper, what up?
That's that sleep brand.
Well, I could use some sleep.
Oh, yeah.
Resident Evil screwed my sleep up real bad.
Well, you know, these guys are revolutionizing a line of products that create exceptionally
comfortable sleep experiences one night at a time.
So no matter how much Resident Evil you play, until you drop fucking dead, I'm getting angry
in my heart at you for talking about how great sleep is right now, because I'm gonna, I feel
like I could sleep on the floor right now.
I don't want to.
You don't have to, because right over there, right over there, just off camera.
You're not sleeping in your bed.
No, you're not.
But I'm just letting you know that right over there is a comfortable Casper mattress.
And of course, you have three designs to choose from the original Casper, the Wave, the Essential.
They're all perfectly designed to soothe and cradle your natural geometry like mine does
right over there.
Why are you challenging me?
It's right there.
With this, like, comfortable bed.
If you would look over there, you would see breathable design that helps you sleep cool
and it regulates your body temperature throughout the night, just like it did to me last night.
And it was delivered right to my door in a small, how do they do that, box?
Free shipping and returns to the U.S. and Canada.
And of course, if you don't know and you want to try it out, you've got that hundred night
risk-free sleep-on-it trial, which I took, and guess what?
After a hundred nights, I wanted it.
So I kept it.
I still think that's like a ridiculously long period, like a hundred days.
It's not so.
That's crazy.
That's crazy eddy time.
You know what?
How would you not know?
You know, crazy eddies deals?
Yeah.
That's one of those crazy eddy deals.
How would you still be undecided after 99?
Yeah.
Like, oh man, crazy Casper, given the craziest deals, hundred nights to try it out.
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Why not be comfortable?
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That needs to be updated.
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Well, they didn't do that.
They need to get the word to update that.
That's casper.com slash friendcast offer code friendcast.
You've got to set an email out and email will be sent out.
But for now, that's what it is for $50 off your mattress purchase terms and conditions
apply.
So thank you, Casper.
Emails going to be sending them.
Yeah.
All right.
With that.
So yeah, that's the end of what I've been doing with my week.
Not sleeping.
That's for damn sure.
If you want to find out more about what I'm doing with my week, hey man, I stream Tuesdays
to Fridays.
That's crazy.
I do that over at the twitch.tv slash angriestpad.
That's wild.
And what you're going to be, oh, what do you fucking think?
Yeah.
I don't know.
Maybe you'd want to hook up some doughnut county.
It's not a whole stream.
I'll do Resident Evil and maybe something else.
I don't know.
Do you know it'd be hilarious if you just did Old Ari?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I did that a few months ago.
Oh, well, fair enough to remind myself because it's been a couple of years.
So yeah, I had a week in it.
I did a couple of things.
First off, I guess I will talk about Darkest Dungeon because I went back to that after a
long time.
Yeah, so you were playing that.
And I was like, well, he loves Darkest Dungeon.
Man, I love that game.
And there's so much about it that I don't know.
Really?
Still?
Yeah.
Because I sometimes, you know, not, you know, I did the same thing I did with Hollow Knight,
which, you know, turned out to be, I guess, a mistake in retrospect because of how much
people let me know I was like, oh, dude, you missed so much and whatnot.
But like, I do still enjoy the version of things where I'm like, there's so many games
out there where you just you immediately play it as a community experience, right?
And that's that's the average game now.
Once upon a time, there would be some games or community experience games like Souls games.
But other things are still you're doing it on your own and then you just experience it
cold and that's all there is to it.
Now, most games involve the Internet in some way chiming in saying things, pointing out
what's up or where to go and what to do.
I should mention that you and I got a hyper version of this.
Yes.
And I think that perhaps I, in a normal scenario, otherwise would have probably not had this
feeling accelerated as quickly as it did for me.
But because it did accelerate to the point where like, I feel like so many things are
like that, it gives me an increased desire to just click the install button, click play
and just play it and not this one's for Wally.
And then if I figure out things on the way and I put time in and I see how it goes, I'll
eventually figure I'll figure out my own stuff, you know what I mean?
And this is a game where there's so many ways to play it right.
There's so many ways to play it wrong.
There's so many little things you can do to optimize and there's so many little mistakes
you can make.
Huh.
Little do you know there's actually only one way to play it right.
You just haven't figured it out.
But I managed to get pretty far like on a method of play that I got used to.
And then I kind of realized upon popping the stream on, like I'm like, oh shit, besides
that first time we took a look at it a while ago.
Age, as I go back before when I was early access.
I've learned so much, but I've also not learned a lot and I've enjoyed that process.
So now that I'm going to be like exposing that save file for everybody, it's like, alright,
here we go.
Let me see what I didn't know.
And yeah, of course there was a lot, but ultimately it was a really fun night and I had other
plans for that night, but I ended up just playing Darkest Dungeon for seven hours.
Yep.
I was like, I was like, I had guys, we're going to play a bunch.
And then you're like, okay, we're going to switch.
And then everyone starts screaming, you fuck you, don't you switch, you bastard.
It's like, alright, okay.
I really just, I wanted to stay in.
And yeah, it was just a ton of fun streaming that over on Wally versus, of course, where
I managed to do a warm up run, do an attempt at a boss, crack it and get fucking bodied.
Didn't lose anybody in the process, however, it was alright.
Just a lot of heart attacks, no big deal.
And then took a run at the Darkest Dungeon and actually beat it for the first attempt.
So that was super cool to get that done live on stream.
Considering I went in with no confidence in that happening.
I had my, I had my like maxed out crew, but I really did not think that was going to happen.
And it came down to the wire with like one party member fucking dead.
The other two on death's door and one sitting alright against that final boss.
And then a sweet ass repost just ended it all and it was fucking good.
We had, like I was naming party members after stream people.
So you know, we had everybody kind of chiming in and answering some trivia to get in there.
It was a fun time.
Yeah, that's what I did that with my XCOM thing way back in the day.
And it creates this bizarre situation where you start screaming at your character for
fucking up.
And someone at home was like, oh no, that's me.
The worst thing happened though, because at first it was naming them, but then they could
choose to name it other people.
So then people started naming things after whatever they wanted.
And we eventually had Tarkas the Crusader leading the charge who then runs up against
a hundred stress and becomes a fucking coward.
Oh no.
Tarkas the coward.
And I'm like, this is lore destroying.
Oh no.
This sucks.
The meme is ruined.
It was huge fucking sad when that happened.
But then we also had characters that were like going through like their ninth heart attack
and hanging in there.
And I'm like, this is that dad that just refuses to stop eating red meat.
You had, you know what I mean?
Like when someone goes through that eighth heart attack and they're like, I'm okay.
Just heal me.
I'm back.
I'm still there.
You're just like, I'm good.
It's fine.
Don't worry about it.
It's just that dad that's just like, I'm too old for this shit.
You know, if you ate red meat, if you stopped eating red meat, you'd probably, I'm too old
for that.
Just, you know, you could just stop smoking, right?
Yeah.
I likes me some red meat.
Just defibrillate my shit when the time comes.
Just put the defibrillator in the meat.
That's and I'm good.
You know, and you're just like, he's fucking just held on the whole way through and that
was awesome.
But yeah, really had a blast going back to that.
Always a game that I forget how addicted I am to it and how I just, I'm like, yeah,
that's an easy seven hours, cool.
So where am I?
That's going back in to the hard rotation, even though there's no time for it.
I've been thinking about it a lot again and I feel there's always time for the game that
you truly love.
And there's all this, there's all this cool DLC that everyone has been telling me about
that I still don't think I've touched really because I just had my old save file from back
in the day.
And they put out two DLCs and there's so much content in that game that you can play a lot
without ever really scraping up against it.
One's about vampires and the other's about Lovecraft, which seems both of them super
appropriate.
So they've been heavily revising the difficulties as well so that you can play like a more streamlined,
not easier, but faster experience.
What?
Apparently there's a version of the game where you can...
Not easier, just faster.
Yeah, you can get through it faster, but it's not necessarily easier and then in a super
brutal mode and stuff like that.
So darkest fucking dungeon back in.
Absolutely.
The other thing I did was play some Twinbee.
I went back to Twinbee, the old shmup, just to see what was what.
And that game has...
Press off your Icaruga win.
And then Gradius.
So Twinbee's super fucking cool.
There's definitely some fun ideas in that game.
It's dated at shit and there's a really...
The sense of progression, it just loops at a certain point.
You just kind of go through a bunch of levels and then they just kind of loop and it runs
out of tile sets nice and fast.
But it's got one really strong mechanic, which is shooting bells that bounce.
So it's a horizontal shmup and there's these...
Your power-ups are these bells that you shoot out of the clouds and they basically are trying
to fall off the screen and you have to shoot to bounce them back.
And the more you shoot them, the more they change color and they become different power-ups.
And as the screen fills with bullshit, it gets harder and harder to play that juggling
game while you're trying to survive.
But you know that the best power-ups are behind that game.
So you can try to survive and just shoot everything and not care.
Or if you want to get really cool shit and rewards, then you should play that game of
trying to get the bell, which adds sufficient difficulty to everything.
So yeah, it was fun.
It was fun to kind of go see that.
And I haven't seen a ton of games use that type of mechanic since.
So I liked how that was there and I should probably go through that line of games.
I know that the Perodius and Twin Bees are pretty popular shit gets made.
Fuckin' Perodius.
Yeah.
I can't fucking believe Perodius.
That shit exists.
Shmups need fun too.
Shmups are allowed to be fun.
No.
They have to be about the anime vampire girl who does the...
I don't know what Toho is, man.
Toho is a bunch of shrine maidens that are, I believe, they're immortal.
Saying the word Toho made me so much more tired.
That was a mistake.
That's fine.
I want to say a bunch of immortal shrine maidens and they all have a habit of butchering the
English language.
They love it.
It's their favorite thing to do.
And if I'm wrong, good.
Apparently the music is high quality.
Uh, yeah.
God, what the fuck, like, incantation of iridescent flowers.
Toho versus Kingdom Hearts.
Who has the shittier titles?
Go.
Oof.
At least Toho has consistency.
I will give Toho the win on that because there's a consistency to it, right?
There's a certain way that titles can create a trend.
You know how you hear a James Bond title and you know what it is right away?
That's correct.
So that when someone makes a parody, like, no one lives forever, you immediately go,
oh yeah.
Yeah.
Totally, right?
Absolutely.
Or I expect you to die, like, that stuff or whatever, which is actually a line straight
from it.
But so that's fine.
Podcast titles have become a known thing.
There's a language to them.
There's a tense, you know?
There's a whole pattern that can be recreated in such a way.
And Toho titles kind of at least have that consistency to them, whereas Kingdom Hearts
titles have nothing to do with each other.
They're just letters and numbers and all kinds of random wacky shit.
The worst one.
With the exception of communication in the acronym.
I think it's like Kingdom Hearts 2.8, Birth by Sleep, Final Chapter Prologue, .2, a fragmentary
passage is the worst thing ever made in words.
If your gibberish can be like, if there's a feeling that comes from your gibberish eventually,
then I'm going to give that the win.
I'm okay with that.
Jim Sterling put out a really fantastic video out today.
Did you see the title?
What?
It was, it's called Kingdom Hearts is Stupid Gibberish.
Nice.
And it, it is just, dude, I should be, I feel exactly the same way as Jim in that video.
I should be so excited for Kingdom Hearts 3 coming out tomorrow because I love Kingdom
Hearts 1 and 2.
I am bored to tears by it.
Well, you weren't the right age when it came out.
I was the right age.
No, you were too old.
You needed Kingdom Hearts 1.
Dude, that came out in 2001.
No, it didn't.
That's impossible.
Does that make any sense?
No, it couldn't have come out in 2001.
It's a PlayStation 1 game.
It had to have come out like.
PlayStation 2 game, rather.
PlayStation 2 game, 2002?
No, it had to be later.
2002, 2002.
2002.
2002.
Okay.
Now, you needed to be.
That was 17 years ago.
Yeah.
So, you needed to be way younger than that because you were still in your late teens.
You needed to be formative early teen years.
Like you needed to be from, I want to say, 8 to 12.
No, but you don't get it.
I love Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2.
I know.
We got a decade of shitty spinoffs, but they're all really important.
But you need Kingdom Hearts to be your Sonic.
That's where it has to be.
It has to be in the slot of Sonic for you.
Right.
Sonic isn't even my Sonic.
Okay, but you know what I mean?
People that are like, I was 10 when that happened, those are the people that are like,
Yeah, Kingdom Hearts 3.
Because they were the right age.
For that magic.
I totally disagree.
I think there's a large percentage of people out there that are wildly insistentory for
that game.
That are older?
Yeah.
Definitely.
And they kept up with all the stupid bullshit.
But I'm just saying that I feel that the vast majority is going to be of the fervors.
Do you think the vast majority of people that are yay are the parking lot gang?
My brain just turned the word parking lot into Kingdom Hearts.
Yeah, that's correct.
Yeah.
It's people that had that during that time.
When it was you were just young enough that Sora and Riku and Kairi were the coolest motherfuckers
ever.
That was never the case for anyone.
And you wanted big open parachute pants and you wanted keychains hanging off your shit.
Ever.
That was never the case.
And you spoke in loose platitudes and you wanted to look inside the warm house.
Did you see the fucking breakdown of how many times the word darkness is said in Kingdom
Hearts?
No.
It's like 490 something.
Hmm.
Yeah.
I played a bunch of those games.
I don't remember the darkness ever being explained once.
But you know what the darkness means.
No, you don't know what the darkness means.
But as a kid you do.
No, you don't.
No, you do though.
It's so poorly defined.
Which is the point by not getting specific and by being vague and believing in friendship.
But you're building this highly specific interpersonal dimensional war story off of nothing is ever
concrete in that shit ever.
But the more details and the more human attributes you give these avatars the less relatable
they are to specific people on the mass whole.
So you know, as a kid that is 10, I don't think Riku is relatable to anyone.
That motherfucker is the biggest nobody of them all.
As a kid who is 10, you need a big old adventure boy that you can put on his shoes in the
same way that you can put on the shoe.
No, no.
Okay, you're you're talking like you know, but you don't.
I have no idea.
Okay.
I have no idea.
Like, okay, let me bring.
Okay, so Clems is doing a Kingdom Hearts like retrospective kind of thing, just like he
did for the near series, right, or Dragon Guard, right?
Okay.
So he brings up a really fantastic point because the fact that these things are poorly defined
doesn't just hurt the problem.
The problem is that even things that are straight up told to you and are specific are
lies.
Okay.
Characters that are nobody's have no emotions.
Except for these 10 cutscenes in which they are crying, screaming in anger or pleading
for their life out of terror, right?
Like it like nothing makes any fucking sense.
I remember when I saw that cutscene where I was like, Oh my God, they have parents.
And then I'm like that reframed the entire thing of what I thought Kingdom Hearts was.
Oh yeah.
And then everyone fucking parents are dead within an hour of starting the game.
Well, not that I saw.
Yeah, you did.
Okay.
Well, anyway, not that I saw.
Yes, you did.
Well, but I didn't.
No, but you did.
But you weren't paying attention then.
Okay.
Well, and dude, there was a cutscene.
Did you get to Traverse Town?
Yes.
Then you saw his parents die.
Okay.
But obviously I didn't.
It was what I'm saying.
Yeah, you did.
Oh my God.
The star went out.
That means his planet is gone.
What is that?
What is that random piece of information mean to someone with no context, dude?
Like what I'm saying is I'm literally just going like, oh, wow, I had no idea this even
happened in this world.
I always thought these were just orphan kids from the get go.
And then immediately people were like, yeah, well, they might as well be because that never
comes up again.
That's dead.
Okay.
Well, not as far as I know, but regardless, the point enough people said that you don't
actually see or hear anything from them again anyway.
So it doesn't even matter.
That's actually really weird and creepy.
And I'm like, what?
These kids adventuring have parents and they never touch it again.
They never talk to them ever.
That's so weird to me.
Why would you call home?
So that was, that was one of the biggest fucking weird things I noticed about the whole thing.
You know, but I was like, okay, that as a, I don't know, I just figure like as a kid
that is like throwing all of my time and effort and love into this game that, yeah, I feel
like the people that are very excited for Kingdom Hearts three right now are the people
that have like they, they are the DeviantArt Kingdom Hearts fucking accounts.
They're the, the, the people that have been waiting a lifetime for this shit.
And it's actually, and it's in that slot.
It's in that number one slot in their heart.
You know, maybe not Sonic, maybe, maybe FF seven or Xeno gears for you.
Not the Sonic slot.
But I don't think I have anything that I feel that that way towards where my judgment gets
fucking warped and put the book, like, cause even if I did love something that much, like
I really loved Sonic a lot when I was a kid and then a shit ton of bad Sonic games came
out and I stopped liking Sonic and I didn't, I didn't double down and start like having
sex with, with like my pictures of Sonic and it's interesting to see how many people are
like, I agree and so many people are like, no, that's not the case at all.
And I'm just speculating as a huge outsider.
I have no idea because I'm just saying what it feels like from the outside.
The big bummer was that Kingdom Hearts one came out and was a great game.
And then Kingdom Hearts two came out like a year or two later, like relatively soon.
It was great.
And there was a bunch of stuff in there that you kind of didn't understand because you
didn't play the GBA game, but that was fine.
And he had 10 years of fucking weird side bullshit.
Now you have to watch a primer on YouTube to fucking get up to date.
And it's not because it's weird, obscure, alternate universe shit like it is for
Dragon Guard, it's like, no, you got to know about the Keyblade War.
You got to know about the Keyblade War.
If you want to play, it's like, is it really so much to ask to be able to play
the numbered games in a series and be able to like follow it at all?
I mean, they did release that collection.
Collections missing like four or five games.
Couldn't you play everything on the collection and be more or less?
No, damn.
There's like a mobile or like flash game that's called Chi.
If there's a flash game that's not cover.
If there's a what's the back cover one?
If there's a flash game that no longer exists, that has canon details,
everyone can fuck off because that's awful.
I hope that's that's what happened to fucking dirt fucking Final Fantasy 7
compilation.
OK, so before crisis is not playable by English speakers ever.
Not that I heard that there's super crucial information in that,
but that was a whole chapter that you couldn't play.
Yeah.
The similar thing that comes to mind is do you want to know the best
official source for Kirby outside of the pause screen?
What's that?
The fucking me verse posts that no longer exist.
That sucks.
They had a ton of information on me verse posts that are deleted now.
And like that was where you could get some lore and thank God,
some people like copy pasted some shit because that was a time locked
piece of lore and like I hope you get an art book someday that might
decide to transcribe Kirby's story, you know, that otherwise you're
not getting anything.
What?
One's Kirby Historia.
One's Kirby Historia.
I'm working on it.
All right.
Anyway, so that was what I did.
But besides, so there's excited for Kingdom Hearts.
Just jump right in at three.
I'm going to be late to the party like everything, you know, I.
Hey, if you're, hey, my Twitter is at angry as Pat.
If you're a person that has never played a Kingdom Hearts
and doesn't know nothing about no Kingdom Hearts, but you're playing
Kingdom Hearts three completely raw, I would like to hear what your
experience is like.
That sounds like a fucking crazy person that would jump right into three.
Do you remember when Bioware came out and said Mass Effect 3 is the
perfect time to start playing Mass Effect?
And everyone on the earth was like you are a bit like what's it
plague say, bitch, are you for real?
I feel like I feel like there's definitely people that are caught up
on a hype train that are willing to just be like it's the new thing.
Everyone's on it.
Let's play the thing with everybody, even though I have no idea what's going on.
And I think that's a mistake.
Who is that?
Well, that guy's actually 10 people.
It's just step step aside.
Let the hype like don't get on.
Let the hype train pass.
It's not for you.
You don't have a ticket.
It's OK. It's OK to know I want to be in the thing.
Everybody's happy, you know, it's it's fucking you're just setting yourself
up for confusion and then you're going to look around and be like, yeah,
this is so great. What the fuck is going on?
Set the stage for confusion.
Stop. It's OK, guys.
Nobody is waiting.
What if that game once it exists will continue to exist in the future?
What if Kingdom Hearts 3 is actually really simply and well told and ignores
most of the stupid shit that you would know about or explains it
in the moment that you would need to know about it?
And it's easy to understand.
You get to do one, two, three pop pop.
Oh, that'd be cool. That's not happening.
But no, you think they've started doing that?
I have eight games ago.
I have become.
Just I have grown a distaste for Nimura over time.
That's a shame.
I dislike what he does.
I haven't tasted him enough to grow a distaste.
You know what? That's, you know, I I.
Yeah, OK. Sticky fingers.
Put a zipper where there was none.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
You're super right. You're super right.
Shit.
Anyway, I was going to say I was going to say what I did do this week
besides play those games was, oh, yeah.
Well, one my favorite fucking
my my favorite JoJo punch shout went down this week.
That's your favorite. That's my favorite.
I mean, sound effect for that one.
I can't quite tell.
So you got the, you got the
Oh, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo.
You've got do- 스 kind o-
All right, with and version A and version B.
But my favorite?
You got it this week in the form of Bruna with his
Leja de c.
It is sick, big fan, big fan of a very dealers.
Is Bruna the main character of part five?
Because it feels like Joe, no, it's just there.
It's up for debate.
He hasn't done anything in like 12 episodes.
It is up for debate.
The answer is he should be.
Why?
The answer is no, but then asterisk.
Yes.
Like, it's not, you know what I mean?
It's a little, it's a little like you can go back very clearly and be like,
yo, Zeppeli is rad.
And then another part later, you can be like, yo, Zeppeli is rad.
You know, and then after that, you can be like, yo, fucking take your pick
at which all these guys are rad, you know, and so on and so forth.
But here are here part five.
No, he's not the main character brackets.
Yes, but he's on the screen more and talks more and all the characters know him.
And he's the leader of the bunch.
You know him well, and he's a fucking couple.
It's so weird.
Yes, like I kind of forgot.
Jordan was there over the past three or four episodes.
Well, you won't forget because he has a dream.
OK, yeah, that's pretty good.
But that's pretty. Don't forget that he has a dream.
But like, like I fucking forgot.
Jordan was there and then he was like, bitch, I made a snake out of a brick.
And I'm like, oh, right, you do stuff.
You're here. Yeah.
No, Bruno, Bruno is a character with
equal with he has better motivations
to do what he does than the main character does,
making him feel more like the Joe star of the park.
Yeah. And since people are playing out,
we'll I'll revisit this once we're through with part five.
Which will be a while, I think.
But I have I also have big feelings on like Bruno and his role in the story
and where the camera is at times.
And yes, the answer to that question is a complicated one person farthest
from the camera when they're all walking away is Bruno, not Jordan.
Yeah. Yeah, like Bruno,
Jordan is standing next to him like like he's Bruno's right hand in the story.
It's really weird. It's really, really weird.
Yeah, but the camera is looking at me because I came from Dio's balls.
That is true.
You know, that is true.
Dio's balls are the main character.
That's correct. Of the entire franchise.
Let's just be real.
Oh, wait. What? Yeah.
Everyone who matters came from Dio's balls.
Wait, hold on.
And that's Jonathan's balls.
I was about to say they're Jonathan's balls.
Well, it's half and half.
We talked about this in the play.
No, it's all Jonathan's balls.
Watch the seven stand user play through.
Volta and I got to the bottom of this.
What? One ball is Jonathan's.
One ball is Dio's.
Jonathan's balls.
They have Dio's influence on them.
No, we're we're doing it half and half.
No, that's not how that works.
It took him a while to become dead.
There's a transition period.
He had to get used to it, right?
And it depends on when Dio was was stumping, right?
If he got if he if he if Dio was laying some pipe down
while he was not quite used to the body yet,
then he was definitely more Jonathan.
Yeah. But then there's a certain point
where he gets the lipstick on and he gets really into it.
Yeah, but he never quite gets.
He doesn't get the chance to really go all in at that point
because that's like a few moments
before he fucking unfortunately, you know.
But maybe unfortunately, he's an asshole.
Yeah, I know. But yeah, he's terrible.
But was he used to it with Pucci or what?
No, I'm just saying. Yeah.
But but all I'm saying all I'm saying is is that
the the camera is firmly locked on Dio's balls
as the main character Jonathan's balls.
Well, same thing.
No, same thing.
I refuse this cannon, this head cannon.
So it's like, you know, when you are you like,
so sometimes the story kind of wanders, right?
And it does its own thing.
And then you kind of follow another Joestar for a while.
But when you hold the Z button to Z to like Z target,
it just locks right back on to Dio's balls
and no matter where or when you are in the cannon,
including alternate realities, including alternate realities.
Somehow you hold the Z button and it goes
and it makes a little fucking Ocarina of Time.
No, you're right now.
Part nine, Dio's going to be back again.
And then a big yellow Ocarina of Time cursor
is just spiraling around those balls
because they're really important, really, really important.
Is that where the green baby came from?
No, but they call it steel ball run for a reason.
Oh, boo.
Just saying, boo, just saying.
All right, boo and you.
I watched an anime.
Oh, yeah.
Besides JoJo and that was I went to go see
the fucking Dragon Ball Broly movie.
Oh, yeah, I heard that.
It was good.
Went to go see the Broly.
How was Broly just in time for Broly to get announced
for Dragon Ball Z fighters again?
Mm hmm.
So how was Broly Broly?
Broly was Broly was cool.
Was he big? Broly was big.
Broly was strong.
Was he overwhelmingly strong?
Yeah, OK.
Now, Broly was cool.
Broly was cool.
OK, now think about old Broly.
Got it.
OK, now ask me how Broly was again.
New Broly, how was new Broly?
Fucking amazing.
OK, super radical, awesome, best fucking gap.
Yeah, super good.
Was he really strong?
He was really strong and he yelled really loud
and then he glowed green.
Yeah, and he had big energy.
Did he do the weird green ball shit that he did?
Okay, ball shit.
And then he just he was so strong and his number.
How big was his number was so big?
Could he have beat a Jiren?
It was so big.
I need to know if he could have beat a Jiren.
For sure.
What about Shaggy?
Oh, let's not fucking talk crazy.
Let's not crazy, you know, because I mean, let's face it.
If the guy that did beat Jiren was not enough to take on this guy,
then that guy's number wasn't big enough.
So if that guy had to face this guy,
I'm gonna say this guy would have beat that guy.
Oh, man, because that guy's number was way smaller compared to this guy's.
Do you know if the director of the original Broly movie
had anything to do with this?
No, I don't know because like the funniest thing in the universe
is that the director for the original Broly movie is like a huge mark for Broly.
Yeah.
And when people were talking about DBZ Super,
he was like, oh, yeah, Broly kicked Jiren's ass in like two seconds.
OK.
Like, I mean, no, for real, totally.
You can, yeah, based on the extreme lengths that are required to fight Broly,
one would say that, yes, it's easy to infer that Jiren
would not be able to handle this number.
Oh, man, you know, now we'll now I'm back in.
So here's the ball.
So here's the thing.
Now there's a bigger number, right?
Right. So here's the thing, right?
So in addition to the bigger number and the big green,
and then he's got the Cool Barbarians pelt.
It's a million times better design than his original Roman style.
And he's got the fucking Ava unit one colors, which.
Oh, oh, look, it's my color scheme.
That's cool. Yeah.
So in addition to all that horseshit, you get some you get some actual,
like a planet, planet, Vegeta lore.
OK. You know, you get some revisiting of Planet Vegeta.
You get some Planet Vegeta politics.
OK. And you get some big old Saiyan girls.
Someone up in the cannon, which, again, I haven't watched Super,
so I know that I'm missing a lot of possible Eli's make this.
I would almost think he did.
Oh, wow. There are Russian Saiyans on Planet Vegeta.
That's me. There are Russian scientists.
Girls was hanging out doing science on Planet Vegeta.
OK, I'll be real.
I didn't really expect the Saiyan warrior race to have scientists.
They have scientists working on their two babies.
OK, because, you know, the two baby.
Yeah, they're mostly all two babies.
Yes. So that whole deal had become they spent some scenes kind of going into that.
Yeah. Right.
And they basically take what was baby Broly going.
You mean the shittiest origin story of all time?
Yes. They revisit that.
OK. And make it better.
Oh, that by simply making it exist.
It's not even that it's a remarkable story in any way.
It's not particularly well written, but it's a story.
Instead of baby Goku cried a lot.
And that's all there is to it.
Oh, I'm so mad. Right.
How could I even remember those events as a tube baby?
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
And then they wrote him a good reason for being over there for the events of everything.
Yeah. And then suddenly he's not over there anymore.
Do they write a good reason as to why his number is just so weird?
He's just so big.
But tell me why he's so big.
It's just big.
Just that he's so big.
Whispers say that he might be the legendary Super Saiyan.
He's got the.
So anyway, like they do, they, you know, like motivations are shifted
and obviously corrected and more looked more of the politics of the Frieza force
and the Saiyans are explored in a way.
So you get to just see a lot more of that.
That's fine.
And again, maybe you see more in Super.
I don't know. I'm just going off of me being a z-watcher and this.
And so Broly's motivations and such are they're better
because they're so like fucked with over the course of the story in a way.
So it's like he's a big angry man, for sure.
But like for better, different reasons.
And he's more of a victim of circumstance.
OK, but he's still cool, big guy.
Yeah. And.
Yeah. And then they have some then they make some interesting choices, I guess,
without, you know, the big cool fight happens.
But without going into, I suppose, like the what few what little plot there is
because there is very little plot in a Dragon Ball movie.
But what little plot there is has some surprising results. OK.
Goku's a fucking moron and that continues to be the case. Wow.
He's hilariously dumb and that I'm shocked.
Frieza is hilariously petty.
Yeah, like he's a fucking.
I have. Have you ever seen like?
Yes, you have. We have seen Hitler as a punchline,
but they've turned Frieza into punchline Hitler.
He's he's been space Hitler from the word go.
But now he's space Hitler with a boom behind him when he talks and does thing.
Yeah, he's always been that it's no, it's mostly no like he is.
But maybe you're just your maybe I'm seeing the weak version
and you're seeing the strong version.
No, Hitler, space Hitler has always been pretty hateable
and despisable in his motivations.
And this time around, he continues to be extraordinarily evil.
Yeah, but like the camera and the moment again has a fucking.
It has a beat and a timing to it where then you hear the symbols go off
and he fucking he gets a little slide whistle, like as he's committing
genocide, you know, or doing horrible things.
What?
It's Frieza with jokes is the weirdest.
But that's that's where we're at now.
And I guess some stuff happened in the course of super that helped solidify that
because I know that he was brought back and he helped do good guy things temporarily.
So yes, Frieza is technically somewhat
responsible for saving the universe or something like that.
Yes.
So it's really weird to me to see him hanging around being like clown shoes.
I should mention.
But then again, it's also weird to me to see the God of Destruction Beerus being
clown shoes as well. He was always clown.
But I didn't know that because the introduction to him was this evil
cat man God is showing up to kill everything.
Well, no.
And then at some point, this evil cat man God is showing up to kill everybody.
But food and then at some point, he turns out to be a friend.
So it's a little put a cat.
Oh, I mean, I saw how like we've seen the origin story of him basically
doing the same as Vegeta hanging out on a planet and being a God on the planet.
And then he's like, I'm tired of this planet.
And then he blows it up and you go, wow, you're evil.
And you're like, yeah, but you're cool now.
But anyway, Vegeta is like.
Vegeta was so evil for multiple different points.
Yeah. And so this is really weird because
I've seen I saw a page where Vegeta was like there was like this this random
monster was about to eat this little Namekian and he fucking Vegeta goes out
of his way and is like, oh, fuck no, right?
And the guy was like, what's the big deal?
And he's like, I've had a trouble passed with these Namekians.
And because of the way things went down, I can't allow a single one to be killed.
And he's super like noble about it now.
And it's like, oh, shit, that's a cool.
Do you feel bad because you got their planet blown up?
But here's the thing.
OK, we get full flashback in this movie and we get to watch literally not baby.
But like toddler Vegeta and toddler
Raditz hanging out and then they go, oh, fuck, our home planet was destroyed.
And toddler Raditz and Vegeta are like meh.
That's all shit from the Bardock backstory.
Yeah. So then you're like, well, he's sure got way more pissed about that later on.
Right. Considering how they give so little much, they get very few fucks.
Yeah. The second it happens.
And they're like four years old.
Yeah. And then you cut to when they're when when Frieza's around in the future.
And you're like, oh, he he's way mad more about it now.
I'm a planet.
But I guess it's the maybe it's just because it's like.
No, no, no, no, maybe it's the reveal that it wasn't an accidental asteroid.
Oh, it was. Yeah, it was you. Turned out it was you.
You want to hear something really wild?
What? I was told this so I might be wrong.
But you know, they wished Namek back and all that shit with the dragon balls and all
that crap. OK, so they wish back everybody that Frieza killed, right?
OK, but Vegeta killed like a whole village of people on that planet.
That's not included in their not included in the wish.
No, no fucking whoops.
Yeah, you got to be hyper specific with it.
You have to maybe name a time frame as opposed to the results of an action.
You know, but yeah.
So what I was going to say is on on on another level entirely in terms of just
like production and fucking budget.
Oh, holy shit.
I saw the trailer.
They have money, cash, money, billionaire boys.
It was popular. That's man.
OK, so you literally see
there's the budget go up, right?
In the same way that it did with Gurren Lagann,
yeah, you see the money kick in and that 40 percent of the budget kicks in towards
the end, yeah, you literally see the moment when the screen goes from 1080p to 4k
and the frames get crisp and cripsy, as my grandmother would say.
Yeah, and shit starts going and that's when Broly's numbers get really, really.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all big numbers.
And then the bouncy, stretchy Goku of Sakuga visits your timeline for good luck.
Yeah, that starts becoming every moment of the movie.
Yeah, right.
And the parts where you'd expect blur to obscure the action,
you can actually see the details for what for like one of the first times I can
remember is the high octane high speed action that you get from those insane
Naruto fights or those really high budget OVA scenes.
Now you can actually see it super crisp and clear.
So it's like you got the shoring and sure.
And a couple of really cool moves,
really cool ideas where you're like using key in in different ways besides like,
you know, like, OK, when they're fighting in the air, they're dog fighting.
OK, like, like, oh, cool.
You're top gunning it.
You're your ace combating fighting, right?
And then at one point, a character charges up fireballs,
but just keeps them as melee weapons and uses them as melee weapons.
OK.
Why in fist to attack and do cool things with it's like when Hulk got the thing
with the cars and then
what I think is probably the single coolest sequence they've ever put money into.
There is a solid maybe one minute of first person dragon ball fighting.
OK. At high budget.
OK.
And you get to experience fighting Goku.
And you see Broly's point of view.
OK. Fighting Goku first person.
Oh, no, through a mountain up through the air, dodging shit,
sliding to the side, counter fire, like it really goes fucking ham.
Is first person the only way to truly appreciate how big the number is?
I mean, you can literally see them looking through the new
scouters to see the number go up.
Oh, wow, there's new scouters that go that high.
And you can see that you're gibberish digits, but the digits increase.
Oh, fuck.
So, you know, anyway, that's crazy new waifus for everybody.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
New waifus all over.
You got Saiyan waifus.
You got alien waifus.
You got green Chiyei.
You got all kinds of folks hanging out.
Wait, you said green Chiyei?
You heard me.
Chiyei is green.
And you got, no, you got actually green Chiyei.
OK, all right.
And and all in all, yeah, man,
I go go go fucking watch Cool High Budget Dragon Ball.
All right, let me ask you is
is there a part where they both look at each other and they both do like a really,
really big energy attack?
And then one of them is like,
oh, man, this guy's number is so big.
This is crazy.
I can't believe how big this number is.
I got to get an even bigger number than him.
Yeah.
Also.
The fun of, you know, you know, the fun of the speed wagon slash smokey slash
Krillin standing on the side, watching the fight and calling it and doing the thing.
Yeah, this time around.
That's Frieza.
OK, yeah, no, that makes sense.
And then they fucking and then they do some fun stuff with that,
with the idea of Frieza and on this in the stands, watching the fight unfold.
So, yeah, Frieza, Frieza,
like I'll be really honest, like for some reason, the phrase,
the word number in this context, like makes me a giggle every time I hear it.
And all I can think of right now is Frieza going, oh, man,
their numbers are so higher than my number.
Like because that's a Frieza thing to think.
So so original Broly was not a one dimensional character.
He was zero dimensions.
Yeah, he is zero dimension.
It might as well have been a big glowing fist.
Yes.
You know, you can say that by the end of bio Broly, maybe he's zero point five
dimensions, I'd say negative one if you need.
Broly is the actual worst.
If you need to.
New Dragon Ball Super Broly is one dimensional.
OK, but he's probably now my favorite Dragon Ball.
I like him.
Is that because his colors are the colors that you like?
His colors are cool and there's something that I hope.
OK, potential, potentially.
I'm hoping for something that might be cool.
Yeah. Yeah.
Um, because I like me, Vigito a whole lot based on a lot of factors.
Vigito is cool.
I like a lot of factors about Vigito.
I like his personality way more than Gojito's.
But but I want to say that the Dragon Ball Super Broly is I like him.
And in his big dumb simplicity, there's some there's there's like ability and
there's some stuff and I hope because it seems almost like,
um, you know, I'm getting a vibe that they can they're going to they said
they confirm more Dragon Ball Super is going to be happening or whatever
because it made big money.
I'm fucking shocked.
Like Broly might be our Green Ranger.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Oh, we don't know.
Oh, wow. Broly might Broly might be our Green Ranger.
Broly might grow.
Broly. Fuck, man.
Yeah, it's hitting me real bad.
There you go.
So no, go watch podcasting right there.
Go watch it. Go watch. Go watch Broly.
And then once you bully once you watch it, you can enjoy him as he is now hard
confirmed, though he's like dead last, right?
Like he's going to be very much later.
No, there's more.
Dead last is the mystery slots we don't we don't know about yet.
But hard confirmed for Dragon Ball fighters.
We got old Broly and now we get new Broly.
Fuck that. Get out of my way.
Old Broly. I mean, new Broly.
It's time for Jiren.
Now wait, I'm joking.
Fuck that. Get out of my way, Jiren.
It's time for Videl.
So this is the first time I heard Jiren talk.
Even his voice is boring.
Dude, he's the most boring thing I couldn't believe it.
I was like, Jiren.
Jiren is is the actual worst and the most interesting thing he got in his
entire story was becoming more boring.
And now that's a bit odd to say.
But it's like, I don't know how to put this.
It's like the fact that he is so boring is realized by some of the cast.
Oh, they acknowledge it because they're like, oh, he is pure strength.
You know, like that shit is nothing to it.
Yeah.
So last night, Dragon Ball World Finals went down.
Shocking, excuse me, shockingly,
Goichi and Sonic Fox did not win, but they both placed top eight, of course.
And of course, Shenron was summoned.
So shout outs to that.
However, alongside that was the announcement of a new season, a new season
of Dragon Ball Fighters and first things first.
Of course, they announced Mr.
Strongman, the strongest thing Red Ranger alien boy ever been the strongest.
Oh, my God, he's so strong and like he's so strong.
And here's the thing.
It's like, in addition to him being like bland, it's like his design is also
bland, so it's almost like like I get the Sentai vibe of what he's got going on.
I do see that part.
But it's like he could have been designed so much more interesting.
Like I find hate to be like it's a slam dunk.
A slam dunk of simplicity.
And this is the opposite of that, you know?
This is exactly that.
Like him and Topo are like massive shit losers.
And then they once they kind of actually take a couple of hits and their uniform
gets kind of fucked up, their designs change significantly and they become much
better looking like Jiren's designed by the end of Super.
It's literally just the top is torn and it's down.
And that's it.
Right.
And that's all it looks and he looks much better.
Yeah.
But that's it.
He is the fucking strong.
The strongest ever.
So that's happening.
And then alongside the Jiren announcement.
Yeah.
Videl finally and combined with Videl is great.
Say a man together and he's basically doing all the work.
This is perfect.
Great.
So Videl joins the fight and she does all of the normals.
But then fucking Gohan jumps in and does the special.
And and it's very much a 17 and 18 type situation.
It's just great.
Very cool.
And you know what?
Considering I love both of these characters as like I would have liked them
individually, but I am I am down for them together and I like them enough to just
be like I now I get both people I like on my team.
Great Samans in the game as well in a significant way.
And I think this is easily like I think Videl with Saman as an assist is way
more interesting than just great Samans.
It's awesome.
It's super fun.
And it's like it's like now I get two things I love together for one for the price
of one.
Yeah.
And Videl gets to talk trash while Gohan the fucking Saiyan does all the work.
Right.
So that gets announced.
The canonically strongest and canonically weakest members on the roster are announced
simultaneously.
But don't worry about it.
He's got shades on.
Who's that mysterious man?
He does. They do a double Inazuma kick, by the way.
Yeah, of course they do.
So that's always fun.
And notice that I'm not even trying to do silhouettes on this who could it be
thing because they've discovered that silhouettes get fucking found out.
They sure do.
Especially DBZ characters.
Shoutouts to Gunbuster and everything that continues to reference that fucking kick.
So you get Videl and Jiren and then six slots in total.
That's two out of the four.
And immediately it zooms out to the last two on the on the question marks.
And you just cuts the footage of the Broly movie.
Yeah.
So you immediately go, oh, OK, it's Gojita.
SSJ, go Jita.
And then yeah, it's blue go Jita and it's Broly from Dragon Ball Super.
So that's what the movie is about.
And that's where it goes.
And you immediately know, oh, OK.
So that's the last two there.
So now it's like who is the middle to the middle or the two in the middle.
It is. Yeah.
If it's Dabura, I'm going to shit because he sucks.
Yeah, fuck you, Dabura fans.
It's one of them is going to be Kid Goku and the other one's going to be something.
You know what?
Fuck it, just do baby Vegeta.
Just do baby Vegeta. Fuck it.
Yajarobi, I want my Yajarobi.
It's not going to happen, but I want it fucking baby Vegeta and fucking Super 17.
Who gives a shit? Broly gets two slots now.
Yeah, anyway, if it's not Kefla, they're stupid.
Yeah, that's what I'm Broly gets three slots now.
Yes, exactly.
And that's fine.
But that's the age of Broly.
Don't fuck it up, guys.
Give us Kefla, please.
Don't fuck it up.
Anyway.
Videl alone.
Massive, massive hype insurgents.
Very, very, very.
They're probably surrounded like we got to get another chick on this rock.
We really need one.
It's really weird, even though this one is backed by her boyfriend.
Yes, she's still cool.
We need we need Kailan Kallifla.
We need it.
It's weird without it.
It's weird.
Yeah.
We got one that's a robot and the other ones
are made up waifu, but there's cannon girls we can put in there.
Wait, which one's the robot?
I mean, if you can't tell the difference, then no, no, no.
I'm asking because like
because they're not androids, which is the worst part.
Android 18 is not an Android.
I mean, well, she she gave birth.
So yeah, she's a cyborg.
Yeah.
Well, in French, they're called cyborgs.
Yeah.
And I think in Japanese, they might actually be called cyborgs.
Like the English translation called them androids,
but the books we read here in French, they bleed for fuck's sake, the France things.
They called them.
Yes, cyborg 17 and cyborg.
That's like, why did you Android has such a remarkably specific meaning?
And honestly, like for the longest while,
cyborg 18 was what the character was to me.
And there was a point where the English had to sort of change that.
Like the internet, seeing it enough on the internet changed my brain to be like,
oh, that's what they're called.
But what they call it is wrong.
Yeah, it's straight up super wrong.
It was also around the time that Seiya Jin was the thing to write.
And, you know, I don't know where that went.
Shut up.
But shut up and out of the hall.
Yeah.
That's what that's what fuck.
Fuck, I'm getting mad about it again.
Fucking Gatsu Seiya Jin right here.
So that's cool.
I'm happy about that.
I hope they continue to make the right move.
Watch them bring it.
So what was that?
God, which is the huge loser?
Is it 19?
The fucking.
Well, there's Garot himself.
And then there's the fat.
Yeah, the fat loser that Vegeta tears his arms off.
Yeah, I guess so.
But that loser in there.
I mean, there's even there's even like if you want,
you can get the lower number of losers too, though, like the Red Ribbon fucking.
There's some there's some big old black face, mother fuckers.
You can go back to that guy.
You know, like two guys fucking.
Yeah, there's the big army.
Yeah, there's the big gray one.
And then there's the big old black face.
No, no, no.
We're just like, why?
What are you?
No, he just looks like that.
Jiro, what are you doing?
Jiro, Jiro, why?
What about that blue motherfucker?
What's he is he 15?
Um, the blue one with the red hair.
He punches Goku in the dick super hard.
Maybe there's a 20.
Maybe eight.
I don't fucking know.
All right, load and load.
Android shit got super crazy.
Yeah, we got metal cooler in here.
13. What about super 17?
I mentioned that earlier.
He did. He's terrible.
He's got no eyebrows.
His when you fuse with yourself, you'd lose your eyebrows.
Fucking backstory is like so stupid and opens up the potential for just like all
the dumbest shit ever.
Garo makes a real Android version of 18 in hell.
Sorry, 17 in hell.
And he confused with himself.
Why is that process not then infinitely repeatable in order to destroy God?
Yeah, there should be.
There should be a character whose power is basically Shikimaru's,
who then more or less travels around forcing fusions and then using the forced
fusions to fusion again and again and again until they become the biggest number.
Like.
That should happen.
That's what I say.
If you can do it, why can't why can't anybody anybody can do it to get their
number really big?
So alongside this announcement was actual footage of Project Z.
Kind of.
It's like actual footage of a bunch of the cut scenes and like Goku walks around
for like a second.
So this looks like Cyber Connect doing their,
you know, good, their nice cell shading.
Yeah.
And it's yeah, it looks pretty.
And it's basically a cut scene showing us what looks like the stories or
starting point being the Piccolo fight, which unfortunately is not as early as I
would like things to start, but whatever.
We're just retelling the Z saga, right?
Piccolo fight is this the demon Piccolo fight like the early on because he looks
wrong. It's not the first Piccolo.
It's Piccolo Junior fight.
Right.
Because like that demon like that.
That's that's preasy because that one's fucking wild.
Like he snaps Goku's legs and shit.
He kicks the fuck out of him.
Yeah, we're not going back there.
That's awesome.
I know, but we're not that fight is great.
I really wish we'd start at Dragon Ball, but we're not.
But anyway, so when I did point out, I was like, oh, man,
the girl is blowing up again.
When I did point out that I was like, oh, man,
there's so much warm world building.
Like someone like sent me a tweet that was like, dude, you're an idiot.
The original Dragon Ball did not have world building.
Half of that shit was just tournament.
And the other half of it was like,
like little moment monster of the week adventures or whatever.
Yeah. And I was like, I guess it was.
But I think the reason why it felt like it was world building is
because they had to go to different locations on planet Earth.
Yeah. So we got to see a zone.
Boy's planet Earth poorly defined in Dragon Ball.
And it feels and I guess I got a feeling of locations.
Whereas Z has Namek and the desert we fight in.
And that city, West City, that city.
Yeah. And that's it. Yeah. Right.
And so like I'm like, maybe I was wrong,
but I certainly know there's a feeling of locations
that everybody gets from the original Dragon Ball.
So I think you got my sentiment at the moment.
Is that one desert they fight in?
And there's that slightly different desert that they fight in.
Yeah. And then there's that grassy area they fight sell at.
Yeah. And then there's the Kame House.
Yeah. But anyway,
so this is an RPG and it's going to be redoing the Z stuff.
And it looks pretty and Cyber Connect is probably going to be totally fine.
But I think it might play like trash.
Yeah. But whatever it plays like,
I mean, I feel like Cyber Connect can handle an RPG.
Yeah. One would hope.
Also, Dragon Ball fans are used to playing
super trash games and telling themselves that they're good.
I look at it using a verse.
I hope that there is.
Like, I don't know, man.
Like, I just I hope that there'd be like maybe DLC of a little Dragon Ball or
something. No, it's not going to happen.
Because I think the only real problem here is like it's like the game looks pretty.
It's just shit we've all seen.
Yeah. How many times so we're going to watch Krillin Pop?
A lot more.
We've seen him pop so many times.
Well, you're completely right.
It doesn't matter.
No one cares.
No one cares about Dragon Ball.
In Toei's eyes.
It's all about that DBZ.
Well, anyway, yeah, I want to play a fucking thing that starts at the beginning
and I have a goddamn half hour thing where I argue with that fucking rabbit
and tell him to give him the power pole and dump him on the fucking moon.
He's turning everybody into carrots.
That stuff's rad.
It's not going to happen.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Grandpa Gohan, you know.
That those days.
And Young Bulma and the Capsule Corp.
It's it's just when you don't teleport everywhere, the Capsule Corp own the Earth.
They might as well.
It's confusing, right?
It's the Speedwagon Foundation.
No, it's not because the Speedwagon doesn't own the Earth.
Capsule Corp.
I want to say they don't own the Earth, but I want to say they're like
bajillionaires because if you think about that technology,
it is the single most useful thing that half the skyscrapers in the cities have
Capsule Corp labels on them and they look like capsule buildings.
But think about that tech in real life.
Yeah, I know it's why would you might it's beyond mass effect level busted.
Like it's it's the most ridiculous bullshit ever.
And it has it even like even in the in the movie that in the fucking Broly
movie, it has its place and it's time and it's so handy.
They made a time machine.
Yeah.
They made a fucking time machine.
Ed Boone's meme in there with his man.
I feel like shaggy tweets.
I feel like Future Trunks got the
Rost and of every deal that has ever existed.
Wasn't there an arc where he he got a good.
Yeah, no, it was the Black Goku Black arc, but the whole point.
Well, I'm trying to make and like, by the way,
Plague of Grypes is a fantastic video on how bad time travel is in Dragon Ball.
But the only point that I want to make is that Trunks went back in time to save
his future only to come back and find that he can't change his future.
Because his future is always fucked.
He can only go back and change and create a new different future.
But when he goes back to his timeline, everyone's still fucking dead.
And he kills the androids and sell.
But they're dead.
There, the name of the move is not changed.
My future, it's changed.
The yeah, whatever, he gets nothing.
He gets nothing.
He gets nothing.
He gets to be the messenger.
He gets to be, you know, that's it.
Yeah, your world is too late.
You get to let us know.
Thanks for the heads up, brah.
And then and then later,
Goku Black shows up to like double ruin his future.
It's not changed.
It's not changed my future.
It's changed the future.
How did you feel about the Romero inspired new R2 commercial?
Solus compared to the originals.
Even though it was like 30 seconds.
Yep, you see the originals?
I watched it now.
There's more than one.
No, no, I watched one 30 second commercial directed by Romero.
So there are so there they've made
reasonable to Romero kind of TV spot style commercials for the new release.
They are a reference to the Japanese ads,
which were in 98 directed by George Romero.
Yeah, those ones are awesome.
These ones are weird and sterile.
OK.
Yeah, they're not good.
The originals are the originals are better for this game even.
OK.
Do you want to get into it?
No, like 30 seconds.
Just go watch them.
Well, yeah.
So in this one, there's Leon doing the thing in the RPD.
And then Claire sees a zombie under the shutter runs away.
And then they fucking meet up.
They meet up and then they do the thing.
So they're trying to go for a more realistic tone, but Leon closes the door
and then the door immediately just opens and then that he shoots a zombie.
And then Claire just zooms up next to him with a bad ass look on her face for no
reason, and it looks weird.
Whereas at least the original was kind of campy.
Well, the reason because it's meant to do this,
because when I went to go watch it, I was like, oh,
they both kind of end on the same note, which is look at your main characters.
But I mean, I'm curious to know what you watch right now.
Yeah, I literally have both.
So it's way better.
So we have the old one that we just played and then they do the thing.
The new one in 30 seconds just pretty much has a lot less time.
Leon looks way goofy.
Well, yeah, because it's fucking 98.
But anyway, so establishing shot.
He runs past the shot of him running zombies in jail.
He looks he has a very fine ammo and then sees a door.
Who's behind the door?
It's Claire and she's got her own gun.
Tosses her shot gun and then the Zambos like that.
We're doing it together.
I like that much better.
It's also more representative of the game.
OK, I like the part where he's like, oh, fuck, I have no ammo
because that's like a resonant evil game.
OK, see.
It's like poach rhymes.
OK, I was weirded out that they did live action ones
because they put the look the game has.
I feel like you could show cutscenes of that in an ad and it'd be.
Yeah, but I mean, clearly they wanted to pay homage.
Yeah, they did.
They did.
See, the problem is they needed to get the 1998's
George Romero to shoot that commercial.
Well, I mean, good luck with that.
Yeah, well.
Yeah, busy with the call.
There's a there's a zombie in this game
that looks just like Bob from Day of the Dead.
Like anywhere's like a overalls, it looks.
I'm like, is that a day of the dead thing?
Probably.
I'm surprised they didn't get.
Fucking you're doing it, Michael Bay.
No.
That guy that did that other one, I know the guy, too.
It did the other dawn of the dead.
Zack Snyder.
There it is.
You get it.
You can get a Snyder up in there.
No, but I was actually trying to think of walking dead.
You were thinking of fucking Frank Darabont, not Darabont, but.
Anyway, it's fine.
Yes, now I actually need to know who you're talking about,
because Frank Darabont is walking dead, man.
Yes. So who the fuck are you talking about?
Showrunner that left Frank Darabont.
Excuse me, then.
Never mind.
I thought anyway, Kirkman.
That's the author.
Robert Kirkman.
That's the author of the books.
Yes.
You've wanted the author of the Walking Dead comments to direct the.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, anyway, that's the name.
The name I was thinking of was Kirkman.
Yeah, that's what that's you were asking what I was thinking of.
That is the. That's good.
I like that. Use it.
Use it.
Well, I would like that commercial shot in the style of Shawshank Redemption, please.
OK.
See, it's a little Frank Darabont joke there.
I'm just a little Frank Darabont joke there for you.
I'm just the directed Shawshank Redemption.
I'm just going to stop saying things.
You get it.
I'm going to stop saying things.
That's good. That's fine.
What do I know about zombies?
I don't shoot him in the fucking face.
I don't have opinions.
Well, the problem is that you have valid opinions on zombies,
but I'm completely obsessed with that literature.
So it's like I'm like a dick about it.
I'll try to be less of a dick.
You're thinking of Frank Darabont.
That's so I thought the name, but then I was like, no, I'm going to get it wrong
if I say that.
You got shit.
Can't do was Darabont.
That's a whole fucking Kirkman train wreck of what happened to him on that show.
A whole bunch of a whole bunch of a little blue that show is toxic.
Hey, not just because of the Zambos.
Hey, so fuck this podcast.
Speaking of speaking of.
That.
Yeah.
Speaking of the undead got it, did it, nailed it.
Metroid Prime four.
Oh, man, is this weird, killed and resurrected.
So it was weird, right?
This was the number one story of the week.
Actually, we could have gotten to it sooner, but I had a nice Jiren.
Yeah, that's totally fine.
Metroid Prime, this was weird, but the the subsequent details that followed
made it make more sense.
This is as the story has gotten updated.
Bizarrely forthright of Nintendo.
Imran Khan, the only the only thing I want to say about that.
I kind of disagree with the way Nintendo handled it is it's very Japanese way of doing it.
But like the the they had a head of development.
I think it was a talk to us in the Nintendo Direct.
Who was it?
There was a gentleman.
But he's development.
Yeah, he's a completely Takahashi, completely white room.
Talking about how Metroid Prime four is delayed
because they restarted development on it, right?
Yeah.
But like this guy's really, really nitpicky.
The I feel like he's in the quietest room ever.
Like it's the Nintendo Direct.
Yeah, but forget room noise.
Like I feel like the the candor of his talking is so like soft and close
that I feel like I can hear his clothes rustling.
And it leads it to the it leads it to this very uncomfortable.
I felt very uncomfortable listening to this.
I felt like I was in a doctor's office.
What the fuck are you talking about, man?
Like it's it's too real.
OK, too close, man.
You're being really weird.
Well, anyway, there's an announcement.
I like I can't be the only one who you're talking about details
that I have no idea where you're coming from.
The guy is just standing there telling you.
Oh, I felt like he's standing too close.
The poor man is standing there trying to tell us all
that we've got to delay Metroid Prime four
because we're scrapping what we had and we're restarting development.
And effectively, you know, the reason why you haven't seen anything
is because we weren't happy with the quality of it so far.
So that's really honest and straight up and that's cool.
And it's it's rare that anyone would admit to it.
Yeah, but it's also great.
It also explains why you're going to continue to see radio silence.
I can only think of one game ever
that the devs came out and went shit sucked.
We canned it. We're starting over.
And it's ironically enough, already to where they got to 70 percent completion
and then said we threw the entire game out and we started over.
And it was delayed for like a year.
And this is shocking that because that's a lot of work
that they probably tanked. Yes.
So I mean, it's been about a year and a year and change a year and change
a year and change since probably.
But here's the thing about it, though, right?
So cue the awesome tweet that men put out of just a bunch of thumbnails
of people grabbing their heads going canceled and tilting the Metroid logo
all over the version of that game was absolutely canceled.
Yeah. And everyone's like or delay. Oh, my God.
And it's like, guess what?
This is the best news you could have heard of outside of a trailer for the fucking thing.
That's correct. Because this is we want it to be good.
It doesn't need to just be good.
Also, it needs to be like fantastic.
Yes. So like in the like Metroid,
this can't just be a little bit better than Metroid Prime one, two and three.
Yeah, it has to be in fucking credible, right?
And it needs to make up for other M as well.
This has to be a breath of the wild and Mario Odyssey.
Oh, that's. Oh, geez.
That's I didn't even think of that context.
That's a big fucking plate to understand.
It has to be that to Metroid.
Yes, it's a lot. It is a lot.
So when you think about it from that point of view of like new era,
switched Nintendo entries to their games, where this game takes over
the industry and it's all people are talking about for a couple of months.
Yeah.
Everyone has to be talking about Metroid Prime four for a couple of months
when it comes out, if anyone and then when the DLC happens,
if anyone from Retro listens to this podcast,
can you guys write in to the email and tell us if me and Moto came in
to yell at you guys again about the heads?
Because that'd be really funny.
Just it'd be funny if he came in to do it and then went,
he's like, I'm going to remember, remember.
And then they're all like, no, those people don't work here anymore.
Those people all died.
We don't know anything about what you're talking about.
And that's actually doesn't know what they're saying.
So that's the part of the story that's actually that's really funny.
So the story is that Metroid Prime four has gotten canceled
and and and they're going to or not canceled scrapped and they're restarting work
and they're handing it to retro studios, the people who made Metroid Prime
one, two and three instead of who they had working on it before.
And that's that. So then my first question goes,
well, they never really said who they had working on it.
Yeah, they just kind of said, we're making it.
So you're like, Nintendo is making it.
But what does that actually mean?
It could mean a lot of things.
They have a shit ton of people that work in it.
Exactly. So you're not sure exactly the punch out people for.
So you do a little bit of digging.
And it seems like despite never really formally announcing it,
what was happening was it was being developed by Bandai Namco, Singapore.
Yeah, that's so they confirmed that in 2018 early on your game.
I was able to confirm that.
But that's the studio that was working on it, right?
So that was not really put out there publicly.
But that's where the all I can think of is why not have retro make it?
Well, because retro no longer had the former Metroid Prime team.
Yeah, those people all left, right?
So the interest again, the story when you dig a little bit is interesting
because it's like, Retro still gets it back, which you kind of go.
So wait, if the original team is gone, is this just a PR move?
No, no, they're capable of doing it.
But people that worked with the people who were there
and who got taught and trained by those people are still, you know, so it.
Well, it turns out that like, like even though they are the same studio,
but they don't have any of the former people that were involved,
they met, Retro made a pitch and showed it to Nintendo and Nintendo went,
OK, yeah, you guys like, yeah, yeah, that's hot.
So they basically so Retro made a pitch with the new team to show.
No, no, no, we can still do it.
Yeah. And then they and then they got it.
Our good pal Eli, OK, plague of gripes made a fantastic point on Twitter.
It was about Anthem that applies to this.
And he suggested that when a certain part of your key development
staff leaves the company, you should be legally mandated to put quotes
around the name of your company on the game box.
He was refer referencing Bioware presents Anthem, right?
But people also pointed out that this would very much apply to Blizzard or now Retro.
Retro would get maybe a single pair of air quotes, right?
But Bioware, they're up to like five or six and Blizzard,
I don't even know who the fuck even works there anymore.
Valve, you know, just like it's by Blizzard with your big old air quotes.
Would you prefer that game studios were like movie studios where the name
usually implies that there's one part like Koji Pro is the is here.
And we see the name Koji Pro and that means Kojima is involved.
I don't know. It's or games are fucking weird when you see trouble maker studios.
You know, that's Robert Rodriguez.
It's it's really, really fucking weird because with the movie studio, you get
here's the studio that's putting it. It's legendary, you know, and then the individual
credits are individual. Then you get the director and sometimes you get the writer.
Yeah. And you have the actors and you can
feasibly ballpark it just from that, right?
In Game Dev, you get the company and if you're lucky, you get the team
and the team will tell you everything you need to know.
Who what did they work on?
What did that team make when it when Metal Gear was coming out?
You knew exactly what the it was the team that makes Metal Gear.
That's that's what the fight when fighting games in Capcom come out.
It's like, well, is it the Marvel guys or the Street Fighter guys?
Or is it, you know, who's doing it?
When you see the name Square Enix, what the fuck does that mean?
Yeah. Is it is it the Final Fantasy team?
What is the Final Fantasy team?
Because Sakaguchi has been gone for a decade plus.
They move people around from project to project, depending on who needs.
Well, in video games, it basically means we are the license holder.
Yeah. OK. Yeah.
At that point, you know, you're so broad scope.
But it's one of those things that I actually like.
I feel like Netherrealm fans are very lucky because, you know,
who makes more combat, more combat.
Ed Boon and the Ed Boon crew.
Well, it was Midway and then it became Netherrealm.
Yeah. But I mean, the people who like make more combat.
Yes. The fucking like, look at Rare.
Yeah. Does anyone know that name?
Who you think?
Who you think?
The name doesn't mean that name does.
Yeah. Not like.
Yeah, that's that's a weird thing that only happens in games.
And if it does happen in film, it doesn't happen big enough or often enough
that I that we know about it.
Like, think of a thing of fucking industrial light and magic.
Yeah, you know industrial light and magic is.
Wait, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
But these people come in to do specific jobs, though, right?
That's kind of like, like the equivalent of I.L.M.
or Weta would be unreal, you know what I mean?
Yeah, be epic or it's not necessarily or that fucking that port company
that people try and get to pretend doesn't exist.
Uh, there's that Japanese company that's secret
that makes all those license games and said and they slap the Namco name on it.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know who you're talking about.
They made some Capcom games and said, yeah, Capcom totally made it.
Yes, yes, yes, yes. No, I know who you're talking about.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like, think of Street Fighter.
Who's making it?
Capcom, no, Dimps is making it.
Yeah. Is that fine?
I don't know.
Yeah. Absolutely.
Turns out it was totally fine.
It was fine.
But right at the time.
Yeah, Blue Point.
There you go. Yeah.
And, and, you know, there was a what was there?
There was like, uh, yeah, there's other examples
and we'll get into fucking porting companies because of some good news on that.
But then you'll get weird shit in video game industry.
It's like, hey, it's the director of this with a completely new team.
And you're like, wait, that feels like produced by Quentin Tarantino.
Right.
What I'm wondering is like if games because here's the things that like
film is a big enough industry that like, you know, things are like
the money you're dealing with in movies is not the same as the money you're
dealing with in games.
And you're in a lot of cases like spending in video games is is hugely
inflated for returns because of the technology costs and whatnot.
It's mandatory to have a team that understands
like the tech and that's capable going forward and whatnot.
But if you were to kind of have things become
like this writer is freelance because this is happening.
They're like, not every not every company has this, but it's happening more often
now where what's her name that that wrote
Mirror's Edge and Thief.
And I forgot her name, but she's been writing a lot of different stuff.
It's like the writer, Rhianna Pratchett, Rhianna Pratchett's coming in.
She's doing the script and she is a not a part of this company or studio or whatever.
She's uniquely writing this thing.
And then a unique director is coming in or whatever the case is.
Hey, we got Chris Avalon now come in and write a couple of characters for us.
It is it is it is happening sometimes now, but it's still for the most part.
The studio will give you the writer.
The studio will give you the director.
The studio will give you the artist, the art director, the art team and so on and so forth.
And you just work within its boundaries.
It would be interesting if they kind of started doing things differently,
where it was like a name in each of these positions coming together
so that you could get these insane.
Well, hey, listen, you don't want to have that happen,
because then you can't just lay people off whenever the fuck you want.
Not if they have actual brand or name power.
But also directors have a team of people they like working with.
Like, yes, they do, you know,
Suda's got Grasshopper and his boys.
You know, this is the people I like.
This is my team. We know what we're doing.
What we do like we're good or for ill. Yeah.
I don't know that game director is like, even if Kojima like could be like,
I'm an individual, hire me for you to work on whatever game.
And I'll do my Kojima touch with your team or whatever.
It would be like, what about the rest of Koji Pro?
Yeah, it would be a little bit odd.
And so you have to imagine that, like, when Jerry Bruckheimer gets involved
with the production, you know, he's like, I'm bringing my boys.
We got these people we've been working with for a long time.
They're all trusted.
And then we've got our, you know, your crew
that is more or less part of Lint of fucking Capcom, part of the reason.
Part of the reason why the movie industry is the way it is
versus the game industry is that almost everybody who works in the movie
industry is Union.
So they have job security and they have a name to attach to themselves.
Whereas the team, like the biggest lament that I have, like about.
How do I put this?
You know, when a game comes out and it's great and then you find out
that the sequel is made by a weird pseudo team that has some members
of the original and new and it's like, oh, why?
Oh, it's because some of those people got let go and then people got rehired.
That sucks.
It would have been much nicer had they stayed on, but because layoffs
are so common that like it just fucking happens.
You know that amazingly trashy guitar hero, a rock band story
with Bobby Coddick that we always talk about?
Hell, yeah. How I'm going to run this into the ground.
How a guitar hero marketed itself as the original franchise,
despite the fact that harmonics no longer had the name.
Oh, man. And then Bobby Coddick did interviews where he's like,
yeah, some other ripoff companies trying to imitate our brand, right?
And guess and any investors on the outside that don't care to look
in more like, oh, yeah, how about that?
Right. Who are these other guys coming up here?
Should we be worried?
And they're like, no, they're just some ripoffs.
Right. That could never happen in movies. No.
And that, I think, is kind of where my brain is kind of trying to go
because I'm like, I'm trying to formulate this point
and I'm having a hard time putting words to it.
But the idea of a studio change, but of a brand being handed off
to a different studio and then competing against it in this particular way
feels like that's a game exclusive, a game industry exclusive problem.
Let me give you an example here, the reverse example.
Three of them, in fact.
The last story.
That's more of a Final Fantasy game than some Final Fantasy games.
Right.
Regardless of its brand association.
Because of the people on it.
Because the people who fucking made Final Fantasy, at least a couple of them,
yeah, made that game.
Right. Evil Within is a shitty Resident Evil game.
And Evil Within, too, is a really good Resident Evil game.
And those are more Resident Evil games than Resident Evil Gaiden is,
or fucking gun survivor, despite the fact that they're not actually
Resident Evil games because they're made by a bunch of the people who made the thing.
And you can fucking feel it. Yeah.
Right. That's fucking weird.
Yeah. Right. Yeah.
That doesn't happen in movies.
You don't see a fucking director lose the license to the Jason franchise and go,
it's what was it, Basin Borges.
Right. Slasher again. Yacht Club.
Right. Right.
Just burst out of way forward.
Yeah, we're doing our own thing in this, in this, in this particular way.
Like, you don't, you don't see that happen in the same way.
Because oftentimes it's individuals and then they have, you know,
like they get the billing and then they bring a crew with them, I suppose.
But like, take, for example, Dark Souls, right?
Yeah. From Software is making a new Dark Souls game.
Shut up. I don't care who's making it.
From Software. No. Who's making it.
Yeah. What team?
Yeah. There are like a couple you guys have.
OK. Who's the.
You remember how they're all weird and shit about who was making which ones?
And then after Dark Souls two, they were like, Miyazaki's guys,
it's the Miyazaki team they're making it is Miyazaki.
You know, he's the president, but he's also making the Dark Souls.
You know what it is? It's a simple, it's the same question.
Right. You go, they have announced a new movie in the blank franchise.
And you go, cool, who's directing it?
And then you have an answer and you go, Ridley Scott.
And you go, OK. Right.
There you go. They're making a new Souls game.
Who's directing it?
And you can say Miyazaki, but there's a level of obfuscation
that is the name from Soft in between that piece of information
that will oftentimes be where the question stops.
Who's making Smash Brothers Bandai Namco?
Right. What? Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
So there's a lot. But is it?
But it's Sakurai, right?
Yes. What?
There's a layer of noise in video games
where the who's making it question.
There's a fake answer, which is the studio.
And then there's a real answer,
which is the name of the people that are actually on.
Yeah, it's it's like that's what it is.
Like, depending on the size of the team, a group of 10 to 50 people.
Yeah, despite how big the team is, the key members, who's really, you know,
and it is not to demean any particular programmer
or any particular artist or any particular designer,
but the people who hold the key positions
are obviously going to have more influence.
The head artist is going to have more influence
than any other artist underneath them.
It would not have been inaccurate a couple of years back
to come in to to work and be like, Capcom is making a new Devil May Cry.
Yes. And it's like, yes, that is.
It says Capcom on that. That's what's happening.
That is what's occurring here.
And you know, so anyway.
Well, shit, think out confusing.
It gets when I mean the story started on Nintendo.
Sony is making a game.
That could mean fucking anything.
Yeah, yeah.
So then you go, what, which Sony?
And then they go, Sony Santa Monica.
And you go, oh, I know that one.
But like, you know, so we got to get a move on.
But we had a bunch of segue points.
I'm going to branch off of the latter, the latter.
I'll just hit it, whatever.
And say that speaking of Miyazaki.
Yeah. Oh, man.
He did a little interview and it was it was just basically him talking about
what he would be, what he would think of a Demon's Souls remaster.
That'd be cool, right?
And, you know, he kind of says, yeah,
it's it's kind of embarrassing to look back at your old work.
And ultimately, he doesn't like doing that.
He says that he's not close to the idea of remastering Demon's Souls,
but he wouldn't want to do it himself.
He would want it to be done by an amazing studio.
Honestly, I think pretty much everybody would be happy
to just deport to modern consoles.
But he wouldn't.
Oh, yeah. You know, he's embarrassed by it, looking back at it.
I don't know, that game's fucked up and weird and I like it.
So, yeah, it is a weird it is a weird case of like,
I don't want to touch this.
I don't want to do it.
I've got weird hang ups about where this game is at,
despite everyone's fond memories of it.
Yeah, that I would I would understand the From Software gang
like looking back on any shipped project they've made
and being like having weird because like those games are shipped
like unbelievably unfinished in terms of the stuff
that was planned to be in them.
They are way overly ambitious.
Like think of the cut Bloodborne bosses that people have found, right?
If I was working on that, I look at it like,
oh, we never got that fucking snake ball guy working.
So, yeah, he is as long as they hand it to a capable studio.
He's he'll be on board, but he would not want it to just be an up port.
Well, HD, the problem is that we have this issue
in which Blue Point can only employ so many people at once
and everyone wants them.
Hmm. What are they working on now?
I don't know. I probably want it.
Well,
someone with tons of experience
in that realm, yeah, has decided to throw his hat in the ring.
What's that?
Oh, yes, specifically the Dark Souls modding realm.
Mr. fucking Durante himself has opened up his own PC port studio.
Now, Durante is responsible for the ultra famous
DS fix that fixed the original prepare to die port of Dark Souls.
He should not only be known for that.
He also fixed deadly premonition on the PC
and then went on to do stuff for Trails of Cold Steel.
Yep. So the man knows his stuff.
He's quite talented at doing this thing.
So he's like, why don't I make a fucking business out of it?
Reminds me of a Christian Whitehead type situation.
Yeah. You know, well,
he's already doing the work.
I'm doing it for fun on a professional level.
So, you know, like, I feel like a lot of
particularly now a lot of people are going to be like,
especially the remastered version.
So DS fix is kind of falling out of importance.
Sorry. Sorry, microphone.
But like it can't be overstated how insane it was that DS fix came out
the day of the PC ports release because he had done like weeks of prep,
assuming it was going to be bad.
That's amazing. That's amazing.
What a fucking cool champ.
Wow. Holy shit.
That's really impressive.
Yes, this person should in anticipation.
Yes, it was out the day of, man.
Holy shit. Yeah.
So, yeah, Peter Durante.
People didn't have time to get off like that's how fast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was already out.
It was already out.
What a beast.
He's been fixing a lot of PC ports for various people in games,
all for the funsies, but now for the monies.
Yes.
His studio is called PH3 and he's basically said,
we just got through the bureaucratic IDs and blah, blah, blah.
So it's now a business official and
they're going to be doing ports.
So if you want the DX, the DS fix treatment for your game
and if you want to not just do an embarrassing shoddy last minute
afterthought port, just get Durante on the case.
Yep, and he can do it.
I am.
OK, this is how fascinating I find this man's work.
I'm probably going to buy the next game that his studio puts out
or like that his studio ports, no matter what it is,
because I want to see what he does.
Yeah, like I want to see how it feels and what options are like that.
Like that's how fascinated I am with this person's work in this field.
PC is interesting because there's always
the options menu will never be the same over the course of years.
All right, like like PC games are like, you know, back in the day,
options menus on an old console game would be audio, stereo or manual.
Subtitles, if you're lucky.
And then difficulty and then controls controls.
And that might be just a look at them.
And then we're gone, we're done, you know.
And yeah, PC games obviously have like come fucking from all the way there
to pages upon pages like there are so many things you can do in a PC port
that would make it like good or bad.
Resident Evil 2 has something really awesome
where it shows you exactly how it shows you graphics load
and memory load and processor load as you turn each option on or off.
It shows you how much juice it's using.
And it will tell you you're probably using too much juice.
Yeah. In addition, it has a picture on the screen
that shows you what the fuck the option you're turning on does.
Turn off volumetric lighting.
It'll show you a scene from the game without volumetric light.
But that's the top shelf.
Most games don't have that.
So I liken it to probably being like a car
where you can just go, how much of the hood do you want access to?
You know, and that is up to the developer.
Do you want to be able to adjust your carburetor yourself?
Do you know what I'm saying to you?
You know, if the answer is no, that's fine.
Right. We'll hide this in the advanced options.
Don't worry about it, right?
You can deal with the dashboard and drive that recommended button, right?
And then there's the no, I want to open up the hood and go in there.
I want to replace, right?
And then there's the going under the under the hood isn't good enough.
Get this motherfucker up on a jack boot.
I'm going underneath.
I'm sliding underneath the fucker.
And that's another level in like, yeah, you know, so in this analogy,
I would say the engine is the advanced options config and any graphics.
And the the fucking jack it up and go underneath is like,
where does this game hide its config file?
It's it's I and I's. Yeah, where is this fucking?
Yeah, where's Skyrim Prefs dot any?
When you're scrolling, when you're fucking right, clicking on I and I files,
you're going into my documents and you're like, where is this shit?
Drag that shit into a note plaid plus plus that I can force this thing
to fucking do max LOD at all ranges.
Start changing ones to zeros or vice versa.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you.
I hear you.
Uh, fucking Durante, good gaming is fucking stupid.
Just like you load it up and it looks great.
And you're like, oh, but that thing.
Oh, I bet I could. No, that's you.
No, that's hold on. No, hold on.
No, that is not unique to me.
Hold on. That is not unique to me.
Yes, I am crazy, but there are many of us out there.
Oh, God, you know what it comes from, right?
Mm hmm.
I didn't spend two thousand dollars on this video card for this,
you know, for this to look for this to happen.
Anything less than perfect.
Right, right, right, right, right, right.
Yeah, OK, it's a it's a it's a combination of like
neuroticism and buyer's remorse.
I get that.
I get that the fucking the price is high.
I didn't spend five times the cost of a console for this
to look like a fucking console game.
Right, right.
Yeah, OK.
Well, with that, we did Durante.
We did that.
We did from soft.
You got anthem in there.
No, I know the demo came out and I know that there's
apparently what there's there's codes.
So no, the thing about anthem is that it got servers were full.
So the servers were full.
It's a pretty common issue with an online game that the game comes out.
Oh, it's fucky. Yeah, right.
Shit's all broken.
Shit's crashing. Yes.
What was fascinating is that then origin went down entirely.
And that killed a eSports tournament,
I think that was based off FIFA that was happening at the time.
And it was then discovered people thought
origin was fucking up, thus bringing down anthem.
Turns out it was the opposite.
So when anthem fails to connect to the server,
it floods the server with login attempts
is essentially causing a one man DDoS.
So every person trying to log in ended up DDoSing origin.
Because Anthem's net code is built to DDoS itself.
What?
Well, I don't.
OK, that's not an I didn't catch that at all.
Holy shit. Yeah, that sucks.
It's a guy doing packet sniffing and I found out like
when you try and log in and it can't log in,
it just tries to log in over and over and over and over and over and over
in like a second. Oh, my God.
And then your spams and everyone's and that also attaches to the origin.
Log in. Oh, yeah.
And like they brought origin down with that.
And everyone in the world is like,
this is an online game similar to Destiny or Warframe.
This is dire.
The online infrastructure of your online game
is something that is very important.
And this seems like the kind of mistake
that would have shown up like on the page or on design,
let alone within scale tasks.
I literally was the person responsible for running
room wide tests where everyone was on that login screen
and then you hit the button.
Yeah, the whole thing down and see what happens.
This should have shown up.
That's wacky that that didn't happen.
And here's the thing.
Extensive network testing makes the number go high.
Oh, yeah. I talked about this before.
The money goes fucking high.
Oh, yeah, you got to get a lot of people.
You got to get them to a lot of places at the same time.
And then you got to get the network guy hanging in there,
doing various versions of ups and downs.
Yeah, it takes a lot.
However, when you don't do it,
the cost is nightmarish on the back end.
If you fuck up, yeah, do it, do it, do it now.
Pay now or pay later or do it twice as big later.
Pay now or pay later.
Yeah, you know, how much you want to pay the cost of making your online game.
So so that is really, really wacky that this happened.
But it seems like it would have been an opportunity to cut corners
and possibly save some money and that didn't happen.
So now you got to pay more.
So this is the bummer, right?
Yikes. Anthem looks fine.
Like people are playing it.
It doesn't look bad at all.
It looks promising even, right?
And they've talked.
It's not they're not going to have any all the maps
and expansion stuff is all going to be free.
And you're going to buy cosmetics.
It's basically going on Warframe's business model, except you buy you buy the desk.
So I wasn't crazy for thinking, yeah, I want to Iron Man a little bit.
No, you weren't. Turns out, well, that trailer they showed up
was absolutely the fakest shit in the world, for sure.
But it looks fine.
But I felt so attacked last time it came up.
I didn't even know what to fucking do.
Well, it was mainly because it was like the thing they had shown was fake.
OK. And like looking at it now, it's even more clear that it was fake.
But like if like you've used origin,
do you remember trying to get into Titanfall 2
and origin would sometimes just tell you no for no reason?
Yeah. This game neat, like.
You the online infrastructure is like the actual most important thing.
It's the whole thing. Yeah.
Right. And if it if it if it don't work, then the no game,
it's dire to have this problem.
That's bad to have.
Um, yeah.
I I I haven't again, like I think.
How long is the is the VIP demo access?
It's done. It's got. Yeah.
It was yesterday. Oh, it was the weekend.
Damn, because I think someone was like,
you know, I got a code if you want to look at it. Yeah.
And I didn't because I was busy, but I wanted to.
OK, well, whatever, we'll wait.
There's going to be a public demo.
On the first week of February, which is days away.
Yeah, it's I think it's February 3rd.
OK. I think probably that weekend.
Well, that's a weird one.
So, yeah, that happened.
And that's Yikes always test your network
shit on a network based centered game, guys.
But that's, you know, who am I?
I don't know. QA. What?
Anyways, I'm sure someone internally told them.
I'm so, you know, what's even crazier to me?
Bioware, regardless, the fact that it is not Bioware Austin,
but Bioware, regardless, within that parent company,
they have a studio that made an MMO.
So there should be people that worked on that MMO.
They could tap for that, right?
Mm-hmm.
And be like, hey, can you come in for a week and look at it
to see if it suck?
Mm-hmm.
And they didn't or maybe they did.
And I don't know.
You have the people somewhere.
You have access to people who know how to run an MMO.
Yeah. That works.
I've never heard anything horrific about like Star Wars.
That's the other thing, though, is when you have
you also have outsourcing where you literally have
third-party QA companies that do this for you.
Well.
You send them your code and they go, here's a build.
How many people can you do a network test
on how much stress can you get on the system?
And back when I said I did testing for like a dirt,
for example, like the Codemaster stuff, it was like, yeah,
that was like a very brief period of a massive network test
where we get like 100 people in a room
and just fucking go for it.
Yeah. And that's what we are.
We're a room full of people coming in at six in the morning
to try out the net to try break this fucking network.
Break this fucking network code.
Yeah. Break, you know, so.
Hey, look, it broke.
We didn't even have to do anything.
Speaking of broken.
You want to reset that clock for me?
Can you reach over and can you reach over and reset it?
I reset it. Thanks.
So what news is it this week?
Oh, yeah, this thing.
Fallout 76 is getting PvE content in March
alongside PVP survival mode.
So they talked about the survival mode and what it entails.
And everyone and their mom discovered
that there are massive design issues with it
that make it sound like an actual nightmare.
The number one design problem with their PVP mode
is that it's survival.
So, you know, it's like kind of like permadeath.
Yep. But when you get killed,
you'll respawn at Vault 76 to start again.
And everyone went, you're going to respawn
every dead player in the map in the same location,
a location that other players can reach.
Are you actually for real?
And there has been no comment on that.
That like what?
You can't do that.
It will be a nightmare.
It will be a slaughtering pen, especially it's a vault.
That's a doorway to walk out of.
So it seems like they've been jumping on Reddit
to try and talk down the storm a little bit.
And apparently there is going to be
this March content drop that is
going to address some concerns, but.
Details are still being worked on.
I think it's I think I can't think of many times
when a company is like, we're going to release a content thing.
And the universal response is that sounds fucking dumb.
But this game is a unique game
in which even the people who play it kind of look to dog on it.
Yeah, well, we're now hitting.
We're definitely like I said, I said it right before we started,
but we're now hitting the point where like everyone is like
everyone's like a sneezing or coughing and be like, did the clock reset?
You know what I mean?
Like, like did someone fart somewhere and did that fart
wind blow into a gust that reset the clock?
Did that fart cost two hundred and seventy six dollars?
Well, I.
Boy, we got a two for we got a two for, I suppose.
But two hundred and seventy six dollars
is the cost of the fallout seventy six leather jacket
that has been apparently.
It looks bad, dude.
Not getting the greatest reviews.
It looks bad, dude.
Not getting the greatest reviews on the tweet.
It looks like those IKEA bags made out of tarp.
I mean, like it's like.
Like there's one thing where like the bag was like, you saw one thing.
You got another. Yeah.
In this case, you saw what you got.
It ain't fantastic.
Is that a clock reset?
I don't know.
See, normally this wouldn't be like that big of a deal,
except the price is set so high specifically as like a tie into the game
to have the same number.
There's a three hundred dollar fucking leather jacket that looks like dog shit.
I mean, it looks like the new rum shit again.
Right. Or they just like, hey, look, those those rums are like 80 bucks, man.
Yeah, dog shit. They're terrible.
So there are tweets that we're coming at where people were literally showing
pictures of blue tarp and plastic bags and plastic bags.
And it was like, oh, dear. Oh, no.
It's also ugly as shit.
But is it not that?
Is that not the shade of blue that is accurate?
I don't think they should have made a fucking fallout leather jacket.
Like you would have to to make it look not that bright and garish.
You'd have to make it like dark blue.
It's supposed to be a fucking dick ass jumpsuit.
Yeah. So you have to make it like an idiot.
You'd have to make it like a dark blue that is not accurate
in order to make it like something people would want to let's.
Hey, let's be clear.
Bethesda is very concerned with the accuracy of the fallout franchise
when it comes to merchandise.
Fair, very concerned point.
Um, yeah, I also saw an isolated case
of one of the fucking collector's additions, like the brother of brother
of brotherhood of steel helmet gave this girlfriend bought it for a boyfriend
like, hey, and she tried it on as a goof.
And it had some kind of horrible allergic reaction to the plastic.
Yikes.
Now, that's a one off case and may in fact just be a freak allergic reaction.
But it's still like, I hope she feels much better now,
but it's still like darkly humorous because I'm waiting for the fallout
seventy six item that poisons people.
Again, we're not there yet, but this clock has a reset button.
And I legitimately think that there will be a fallout.
Seventy six piece of news that will have human injury involved in it.
What I'm actually waiting for is the week that we read the story
and then we are interrupted mid story with the new story.
That can actually happen.
That is a. Oh, I. Oh, that is feasible.
A a long time watcher of the show got in contact with me in Australia,
in fact, about who had worked in the games business, who had worked in.
I think he worked at the E.B. Games and could describe like what was going on
with the recall of the fallout seventy six things.
It doesn't mean the games going free to play.
It means the game is being returned too often.
Oh, to be sold at a profit.
So then send them back.
Huh. So like if the game is returned.
Yeah. And because if you return a game, you can sell it used.
Right. Yes, but we can't sell it.
If the used copies don't sell either, exactly.
Then then it's actually worthless because we're we're spending money.
Yeah, because margins on new games are really low.
Like even no matter how low it is, you can always end up burning through money,
buying it. So send them back.
OK, got it. Got it. Got it.
Which is its own kind of sad little that's that's you know what?
That's an interesting fucking downside to your resell
business model. Oh, yeah. That can happen is you can have a game
that can bomb twice in your store. Yeah.
But at that point, usually they just go,
we're not buying copies of this game anymore.
Yeah, except it's a big ass game.
So they probably bought a shit ton.
Right. It's like like a like a Madden game or something
where they go, no, fuck no sports games.
Yeah, like this is one they actually didn't expect that to happen.
And this may, in fact, lead to a Fallout 76 landfill in the bush.
And in a bunker, perhaps.
Listen, if you if you drive a truck and somebody tells you to dump
a bunch of Fallout 76 copies in the middle of the Australian bush,
you you write us because I want to see pictures of that fucking death trap.
Let's take some emails, some emails, some emails.
Hey, if you want to send some memes to Castle Superbeast,
you can send those to at woolly wools on Twitter.
I believe that's at woolly versus as well.
So what's your Twitter? Send him memes.
He loves them. It's what he loves them so much.
But if you want to send some questions or comments, possibly corrections
to this podcast, you can send that to Castle Superbeast Mail at gmail.com.
That's Castle Superbeast Mail at gmail.com.
After you send me your memes,
be sure to send your angry persona rants over to Pat.
That's fine. That's angry as Pat on Twitter, woolly,
like you need to tell them.
Let's angry as Pat on Twitter, like you need to tell them.
Yeah, very, very crucial.
That's where those go.
Yeah, we got a couple.
Oh, by the way, I'm just joking. Send me the memes.
I love them.
We got one coming in from
Kyle, he says, their woolly Kennedy and Pat Redfield.
After playing that remake, I was surprised to see several references
to the outbreak series, including the Bullhorn announcement to evacuate the station.
Leonon Claire here while driving through the city.
So a several mentions of Officer Rita Phillips.
Yep, I was wondering if there were any more interesting Easter eggs,
you guys, specifically Pat being resident evil guy.
Notice while playing the game, if that's to narrow a question,
what's a shout out a game has given to what you would consider
an obscure or lesser known piece of media that you would like to give attention to?
Thanks for reading and all the best, Kyle.
The number one connection to outbreak
is the fact that the new hidden passage
underneath the main lobby statue that leads to the parking lot
is the one from outbreak that Rita Phillips calls into to get a truck
so you guys can escape in that outbreak scenario.
It was a cool addition to the police station, and I'm glad they included it.
OK, I want to give a very specific shout out to Strider 2014.
All right, because in Strider 2014, there are collectibles.
Did that game actually come out five fucking years ago?
I guess so. Jesus Christ.
Strider 2014 had collectibles that are fallen striders.
OK, there are 11 fallen striders that were sent in to defeat Grand Master Mayo.
That's cool before you. Yeah.
And they all failed. Yeah.
You find their gear and their equipment as you go through the game.
Each time you find them, it's a different color scheme
of their Strider outfit as well. OK.
And all 11, which are named characters
besides obvious ones like Strider Hien,
who was literally a character that you fought in Strider to.
All the others are references to Capcom Ninjas.
Awesome. Just great.
The color configurations that you pick up
include all kinds of fun stuff.
And if you go back over them, you can see like Strider.
Yeah, I actually pulled up a list here like Strider.
Hoenn is the elf from Dungeons and Dragons on the Capcom games.
Roga is Hayato from Star Gladiator.
Ibuki from Street Fighter.
Kenji from Red Earth. Guy from Final Fight.
Like there's one for for Rad Spencer.
There's one for not a ninja.
He's not a ninja now.
There's one for for Lin Kurosawa.
There's and there's one for like Classic Hero U as well.
So like a lot of those costumes are just like references to
a bunch of the the like other Capcom Ninjas and characters.
And that's genuinely pretty cool.
So that's super rad.
And they also have like tons of like fun little lore implications.
So I like that one.
And that's obscure diggin.
That's obscure shit in an already obscure thing.
Being double obscure.
I think the the most obscure shout out I can think of is actually
also Resident Evil related is in
Ari Seven, you can find a news article in a magazine
written about the Raccoon City outbreak written by I forget her name right now.
I remember if I saw it, but the journalist character from Ari outbreak,
which means that at least one character from Ari outbreak survived
after the story.
OK, yeah, which is weird because canonically only the four people got out
of Raccoon City plus Carlos and Jill, but whatever the outbreak survivors got out to.
Alissa, that was her name.
We got one coming in from NEP war.
He says, dear Super Beast, Super Beast, all the way up northeast.
Yo, I remembered how Ubisoft fucked up Tetris on PS4.
And I thought to ask, how could you fuck up?
How could you fuck up when I look at a piece of media like that?
I really wonder how could you fuck this up?
Is there any others that you guys think of that are like, I guess, in that vein?
Slam dunks. How do you fuck it up?
Hyper fighting was fucked up when it came out.
Hyper fighting was great.
You mean super?
No, I mean, I mean, hyper fighting.
I love hyper fighting.
No, when it came out on Xbox Live.
Oh, OK, it was fucked up.
Original like they had the sound effects that were so off
that even people who were not fighting game fans were like, this feels wrong.
One that comes to mind for me is Turtles in Time, three sixty.
Oh, yeah.
It was such a slam.
Like, how do you fuck that up?
You know, you even traced over the fucking original game
and with the with the that I remember that trailer literally
switching back and forth between the two and somehow it was just wonk and awful.
That was a really bad one.
Sparkster. I was just thinking.
I was just thinking of the new fucking Rocket Knights.
Yeah, Sparkster. Yeah.
Of like the instant mean I think we saw the trailer to E3.
The instant we saw it, we both went, oh, like you can tell right away.
Yeah, that it was garbage.
Fucking DMC, too.
I guess. Well, I'm not to be honest, they didn't know what they had.
It was the second time out.
They didn't know where they were going with it.
I'm willing to take that.
I it's not I'm not that surprised by that.
I'm not that surprised because they didn't know what they had.
It was great until it was after the fact.
You want to sort of fall out several districts?
I'm going to begrudgingly say, Nidhogg really.
But it's not. But it is.
But it's not. Yeah, I know, I know.
It's just one thing.
And it's like, I know.
But that one thing was enough for people to suddenly stop talking about it
and playing. Oh, man.
You know what game?
It was like, how you fuck this up so bad?
FF seven for the PC back in like 96.
Oh, yeah, I heard about that.
That thing was the fucking worst.
That was back when you could return PC games, by the way.
And I had never even heard of a game that got returned more.
Nobody's computer could run it.
That port sucked.
That was supposed to be the big in on like Japanese games on the PC.
Wrestler X says their Lord's Assault after Pat talking about the Empire.
You know, at 14, you know, and the devs making a drastic
story change measures for everyone to be to hate them.
It made me wonder, do you have any bad guys in video games
or others, mediums that you've thought I wish I could be on their side instead?
For me, Sele was right.
Human instrumentality is the best thing for humanity.
All right. Well, you sound like a psycho.
That's enjoy, enjoy your goop.
I don't I very rarely sympathize with the villains
motivations enough to the point where I'm like, yeah, I want to join their team.
But there are a couple villains where I have this feeling where it's like,
you're not wrong, like I'm obviously opposed to you.
Yeah. But I can you have real you have a really good reason
to the point where I would not even attempt to argue with the person.
Yeah. That's that's I put.
I put millions, knives in that category if he had more time to talk in the show.
Of course, in both cases, he ends up being more or less psycho.
But the core motivator is like, I get it.
I understand.
Million, you know, Vash's brother is like, yeah, he's got his reasons.
And the core of it is like, yeah, I think a lot of people in that situation
would kind of hate the same the same thing.
So there's that, like, obviously, you can fucking you can for if you want
to get memes out, you can go XCOM walls, but like you think about it, it's like.
Solidest snake.
Is so evil, but he was also actually correct about the problem.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, like his methods are so outrageous.
Yes, but he's dealing with a problem that you don't even know about.
Yes. And oh, wow, it's actually a big fucking problem.
George Sears is like, I was holding them back.
Yeah, a little bit.
Yes. Yes, true.
And it's like there are millions and millions of lives lost as a result
of everything to do with the Patriots.
Yeah.
And so, yes, George, you are a complete psychopath and love child soldiers
and all that shit.
You should not be running this country.
However, but I do see now that you were trying to do a thing.
You as the last human being.
Yeah, that is the president versus whatever the fuck that is.
Yeah, fair enough.
I think there's probably a couple others out there, but he's he's pretty solid.
I always like talking about I always like talking about about funny Valentine.
Yeah, because that's fun stuff.
But yeah, there you go.
That's that's what I would say.
If I I will keep that question in mind.
And if I run into one in the near future, I will try and make it known
because that is a very interesting thing in fiction.
It is.
It is.
And it doesn't happen often.
But when it does, it is rad.
Like I there was a shit.
This sucks because there was a there was a character in a game that I played
with in the past couple months in which I remember feeling is this person even bad?
Mm hmm.
Mm hmm.
Like is this?
Oh, I have one, which are two.
Okay.
The primary antagonist of which are two.
You hit a point in which you go, do I even disagree with this person at all?
Mm hmm.
And you can decide to not have the final boss fight
and instead have a sit down conversation for about 10 minutes
and then just leave.
Oh, cool.
Okay.
Like the character sitting there going so we can have a boss fight
and you go, you know what, I'm not feeling it.
Cool.
And you just leave.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Char.
No, Char's nuts.
Hmm.
No.
Earth is the problem.
Hmm.
Hmm.
I don't want to hear that.
Okay.
Uh, Char up.
Char's dad was nuts too, buddy.
Char up until a point.
Yeah, exactly.
See?
That's the problem.
Char up until a point.
Yeah.
He was totally like, you had me and then in your counter attack,
you went a little too far.
You went a little too far.
Well, it's like, I want to, I want to make a distinction
because there are two types of opposing force in a hero's journey.
There's the antagonist and there's the villain.
And they're not necessarily the same person.
Hmm.
Antagonist just means that it is the person who changes the status quo
that causes the vents or the person who's in opposition to the hero.
Hmm.
The villain's the fucking dirtbag that's got to go.
So oftentimes you have the villain and your antagonist is like the number two.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
And in many cases, the antagonists will die doing something to help you
or something along those lines before.
Like, you know, Golbez is your antagonist and you think he's the villain.
But no, it turns out it was Zeromis, the whatever monster.
Um, Zant.
Yeah.
You know.
Yeah.
Man, Zant really dropped the ball, huh?
That helmet was cool.
It was really cool.
That helmet was super cool.
Boy, that character was really cool.
Man, right up until that fucking second.
Super cool helmet.
They might as well have dubbed in a fucking record scratch.
What a rad helmet.
Boy.
Loving that helmet.
Very evil.
Uh, good threats.
We got one coming in.
Jason says, DJ Mothman and Professor Bigfoot, don't worry about it.
It's a reference.
Jason here wanted to ask y'all what's your favorite creative threat from a story
to give you an example.
Here's my pick from Power Rangers SPD.
Okay.
Uh, one of the show, one of the side characters is a show that's an alien
and called Piggy.
He's a garbage gremlin who runs a restaurant that serves trash.
The Rangers, uh, sometimes use him as an informant and a source of off-world technology.
And, uh, there's one episode where they're looking for an escaped criminal.
They want to know if there's anything about him in the grapevine.
Uh, so they go to Piggy's restaurant.
He climbs up and he says he ain't telling them anything.
So Blue leans in real close and says, okay, then he, I'm going to ask,
then he asks for a round of drinks and some appetizers because they're all going to sit
at the big corner table and try to work on the case.
And then they don't make any progress.
They'll come back for dinner and they end up loving the restaurant so much
they'll bring the whole station in and have Rangers in every seat.
Yeah.
So faced with the prospect of them turning the place into a cop bar, Piggy caves
and pretty much tells them everything as soon as Blue's done talking.
And he tells them to check the docks.
So it's a threat, but it's a good threat.
I like, it's not a threat to a character, it's a threat about a character
from, uh, Alan Rickman in Robin Hood.
He says, ooh, that Robin Hood, I'll carve his heart out with a spoon.
And his fucking stupid number two guy goes, why would you use a spoon?
Would you use a knife?
He goes, cause it would hurt more, idiot.
That's the point.
Right.
He's with a spoon.
I just love Alan Rickman's fucking delivery honestly.
He's so annoyed that his, his sick burn to no one went unrewarded.
And last but not least, Benoit says, hey, Super Beast,
something has been trotting in my head for a bit.
When does passion turn into cringe?
When does that Undertale fan theory turn into an Undertale universe fanfic?
When does the cosplay masquerade turn into Kingdom Hearts parking lot?
When does video analysis on a game turn into filming yourself doing skits?
Why exactly do smutty VN fans want you guys to like fate so much?
Is the source of cringe just wanting to show off your passion so much
that you're willing to look like a weirdo?
Stay cool under those 50 feet of snow.
So that is the exact moment.
It's the lack of self perspective.
Right.
It's the instant that your appreciation for something goes beyond your appreciable
and understandable level of societal self-respect.
Perhaps when you are lacking in, like, yeah, there's a feeling sometimes of like
when you're, you're pushing something and then how the person's being receptive to it, right?
And if someone is either clueless, but curious, somewhat enthused
or very, very inviting to be like, yeah, I want to know more, then that's a cue for you to press on.
When they're not and you continue to press on regardless of the cues you're getting,
it means that you don't, you're not noticing that the person might not necessarily be interested in the subject matter,
but that doesn't matter to you because getting it out of your system is the most important thing.
So let's take, for example, Kingdom Hearts parking lot as it is.
I'm going to assume everyone listening to this podcast is familiar.
If not, go right ahead and you go on and YouTube Kingdom Hearts parking lot.
So, man, friend of mine showed me a video of her showing that to someone for the first time recently.
Oh, man.
Who's a big Kingdom Hearts fan that never knew.
Oh, man.
Like you can hear the pain.
Oh, that's so good.
It's great. It's great.
So take this video, right?
Everybody in that very, very seriously in the Kingdom Hearts, right?
Yeah.
To the point where they would say, hey, you know, people are laughing at you about this, right?
And they go, I don't care.
I love Kingdom Hearts so much.
One, maybe you should care just a little, just a little.
Don't change your perspective or the way you act in the world,
but be aware that people can see you right now, right?
And two, the context of that entire thing would completely change.
It would not be famous as it were.
If right at the end, they went, did you get that?
And he went, yeah, I got that.
And they started chuckling because they had been silly.
Yes.
Right?
Yes.
Yes.
So it's not just a lack of perspective.
But that requires an awareness that you can't pop.
But that's my point.
That's the perspective, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
If you were acting like a silly jackass, that's fine.
But when you don't know that you're acting like a silly jackass,
and in fact, take a front to the idea that people seeing you know
that you're being a silly jackass, that's the line, right?
I stew and say stupid, embarrassing shit every day
because I think it's funny to laugh at me.
Right.
I would not offer myself up for a punch line
if I did not get a crack out of it.
So even if something I do is really embarrassing,
it can only be so genuinely cringe, right?
I think there's an age where you just don't have the ability to avoid cringe.
You're going to do it.
And whatever your thing is, whether it's Kingdom Hearts,
or Foam Adventure, or Undertale, or The Puppet Show.
That's the worst one.
I've never gotten more than like a minute through Foam Adventure.
For Frodo at your test exams, like you're going to have...
Oh!
Oh, you watched so many.
Well, I mean, I recognize a little bit of what you're saying.
But like you have them all locked in.
You have...
You don't...
It's going to happen to you, especially if you're the kind of person that is...
You are...
There's a level of...
I don't want to say disconnect.
But you have to not be someone who has had much value in reading the room.
Right?
In your life.
If you're someone that has basically been like...
I don't...
I've not been in a ton of situations where people kind of feeling like weirdly about what I'm saying or doing,
or me like raising my voice and quoting something that nobody else is going to get right now.
Like, if you've been in a lot of situations where that doesn't matter,
then you're just a ticking time bomb.
There's a...
There is both a talent and a skill to reading the room.
It's learned...
Some people have it more naturally.
Other people learn it, right?
Like one of the things that I like to do when I meet a big group of new people,
I immediately do something bad.
Sure.
This pushes the button a little.
Sure.
And then I get to see how everyone around takes it.
And if everyone around takes it bad,
I'm going to fucking dial it back.
But if everyone takes it well,
let's just push the nudge it a little more.
Let's just nudge it a little more.
Are you telling me that's deliberate?
Of course it is.
Oh my god.
Of course it's deliberate.
I didn't know that was a deliberate button push.
Of course.
Well, that explains a lot.
It explains tons of things.
Okay.
Interesting.
Because I immediately have the reaction.
Okay.
Well, there you go.
No.
So you meet somebody and you talk to them for a couple of minutes
and you get a reading on their base.
And then you go,
what if I nudge it a little?
And if you nudge it a little and it's like,
uh-uh, you retreat back to,
hello Mrs. Madden, how are you?
Yeah.
You know, most people just don't even want to play with that fire.
Let's just stay in the nice zone.
But it's fun.
Sure.
It's fun.
Sure.
Um, yeah.
Turns out Mrs. Madden's a dirtbag.
Who knew, right?
Oh no.
But no.
The idea ultimately being though, that like, um,
yeah, you don't have the capability of,
you just don't,
if you don't have room read as a skill on your fucking,
your bound to fly into that sun.
You're gonna hit it, right?
And the other problem is that if you,
it's possible to over equip room read because,
Yes, it is.
Like then you get so paranoid that you just don't want to say
or do anything and then you turn and you,
you over magnify people being normal.
I talked about Kingdom Hearts to my friend.
I think that person over there saw me.
Oh crap.
Yeah.
Right.
You over magnify the smallest details as something of someone going like,
oh my God, what is wrong with you?
And it's like, no,
they just had something in their eye.
Yeah.
You know?
The room read thing is a very balanced,
They had something like teeth they were trying to get out
and that's why they gave you the stink eye.
It's hard.
It's hard.
And when you're,
and early on it's hard to get the balance where you're like,
no, they're not, no one,
because what you need to conclude ultimately is you first you have,
I can't read the room at all.
And then you do something super embarrassing and everyone goes,
what the fuck?
And you go, huh?
And then that becomes the comic we talked about
where you sleep late at night.
Yeah.
And then you have that moment waking up
and what about that thing you said that one time?
And then you read the basis for all your future social shame.
Now you build off of that and you retreat
and you go the other way
where you go,
oh my God, everyone's looking and thinking about me
and they're thinking about what I just said.
I just said something really stupid.
Oh fuck, oh fuck.
And no one gave a shit.
No one gave a shit.
Now you have to swing back the other way
and have someone go,
hey asshole,
no one cares about you.
You're not that important.
You're not important enough.
You think you're the main character of this story,
of this room.
You're not the protagonist of your own life, Jackass.
Everyone gives a shit what you just said or did.
Everyone's too busy living their own life
and you go, oh fuck.
But then you go to that college party
and it's that photo of all those people looking at you.
Yes.
But the point is that after these two extremes
you now establish the low end
and then you establish the high end
and then you realize how to float in the middle.
But until you establish both ends of that thermometer,
you don't know of that slider rather,
you don't know how to balance it.
That's the thing, right?
You need both.
What you're describing is
events will cause this.
However,
most of the biggest cringe happens
the older a person is.
Right?
So
fucking ventriloquist
act at open mic
that makes you want to gouge your fucking eyes out.
At school.
Right?
In the assembly.
Oh, it was at school?
It was at school.
I was able to watch very much of it.
Right?
But that, she was, well, 16, 17-ish.
Was she older?
Must have been 16, 17.
Now, here's the thing.
Imagine that same scenario.
I'm freaking out.
I'm freaking out.
I'm freaking out.
I'm freaking out.
Eight years old, right?
That's not so bad.
That's kind of adorable.
Right?
Like, me and my friend John,
when we were in fucking fourth grade,
used to fucking act out bits from Final Fantasy 6,
just like those fucking Kingdom Hearts kids.
Yeah.
But we'd be like,
ha ha, because we were fucking children.
Yes.
I was, my parking lot, Kingdom Hearts,
was Power Rangers in grade three.
You know?
Yes.
You were children running around making child noises.
And you know why that stopped?
Because I got real embarrassed around then.
And I learned that the human condition
is about mitigating public shame.
You had to murder your inner child publicly.
Yes.
And then keep that body buried.
Yes.
It never decomposes and it never rots away,
but you have to keep it buried.
That's correct.
Every once in a while, an arm flops out.
And you giggle at something like a child.
But then you shove it back in the dirt.
Yeah.
You got to have both.
You got to have both extreme experiences.
And that's why you know how to cringe,
because you've been there,
or you've experienced some version of it in your life.
It's why the cringiest things are the ones
that are most relatable.
It's why stuff like Watamote kills people.
Yes.
Because you can see some of yourself there.
And you know what?
You know what?
If you haven't been there,
you're probably not very interested.
Oh, no.
Call the call out.
I don't know how to say that the person was always cool.
Yeah.
You just always said the cool,
and then you hit the jukebox,
and it played the right song.
It happens.
There are people like that.
Yeah.
You just always said what everyone wanted,
and everyone was like,
man, you're the fucking best.
Yeah, guess what?
The person who tells you that story,
that's their cringe moment right now,
because they're remembering a fake thing
that never happened, right?
There's the cringe moment on the person.
There's the guy we went to fucking college with,
where his cringe was just lying about how awesome
his upbringing was, and his childhood was.
Man.
And talking about how fucking sick
his high school experience was,
and how everyone loved him,
and looked at him up.
Have I drove a race car?
And he fucking drifted that race car.
Did you ever tell that story at home?
He drive-sure I did.
Oh, man.
He drifted that fucking Hachiroku.
Oh, they gave me the race car to drive today.
It was a white Honda,
just like fucking Takumi.
I did the initial deed.
I took a photo.
I'm gonna be on the cover of the magazine next week.
Photoshop.
Don't worry about the crossed out the face
of the person driving the car.
That's me, though.
Legal reasons.
Oh, boy.
Anyway.
Oh, my God.
That is literally not knowing when you hit the cringe bar
and digging further,
so that you know how Sephiroth's life bar
goes off the screen?
Yeah.
Your cringe bar goes off the screen now.
I can't even see it anymore.
It's gone.
We don't know.
You've dug to a whole new layer, but anyway.
Oh, my God.
You remember that fucking...
Oh, my God.
I remember that guy posted, like, a picture of his girlfriend.
Toyotas.
Excuse me.
Whatever.
Like, playing, like, we in our underwear or something.
It was like, yeah,
she's pretty hot-ass my girlfriend.
Oh, you mean that famous photo of this girl with a fat ass,
like, sitting, playing a game?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's my girlfriend.
Oh, is it?
Yeah.
Then why can I Google Image Search this photo
and see it everywhere on Google?
Yeah, well, because it's famous
because she's gray as my girlfriend.
Cool.
Got it.
Perfect.
Nailed it.
Oh, my God.
Anyway.
Yeah.
I think it was more screwed up that he was telling us
that was the girlfriend that we had already met.
Yes.
That was the weirdest part.
I'm like, the proportions of that didn't exist?
That doesn't look like your girlfriend.
No, no, it's her.
Hmm.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
Well, anyway.
Yeah, if you haven't experienced, you know, like, you know,
you know those games where it's like the golf games or so,
you hit the button, and the first is to set the top of the bar.
That's right.
And then the second is to swing it back down.
You've got to get both ends of it,
and if you didn't experience both ends, I don't know your problem.
Then your center's going to be off.
It's going to be off.
You probably don't know.
If the most embarrassing thing you've ever done
is worn the wrong tie to school, guess what?
There's so much worse it can go, brother.
You didn't.
You didn't do that one thing that one time at that party
that made everyone stop and silently look at you
and wonder what the fuck just happened.
What the fuck did you say, dude?
Oh, did you do that once?
We talked about this last week.
What was it?
We talked about this.
No, we didn't get into specifics.
Oh, okay.
We just talked about the details,
and we all talked about how we slowly die.
We slowly die because when you go,
what about that one thing I said that one time?
Oh, okay.
And everyone has that moment,
and I go straight back to there right then
that led to a pregnant pause in the room
where about 20 people went,
and I'm like,
I've never had that dialogue-wise.
I'm lucky.
Because I remember a guy we knew that happened to.
I happened to him harder than I've ever heard it happen to anybody.
Oh, boy.
I needed to be bathed in it, bro.
You don't grow an appreciation for cringe
unless you fucking,
unless you're baptized in it, you know?
Anyway.
Do you ever have that moment where you're like,
I need some cringe,
and then you hit the cringe,
and you're like, this is way stronger
than I thought it was going to be?
It's just genuinely really uncomfortable.
Because the thing is that like,
I mean, to be honest,
there's stuff, and the stuff that is cringe
that I have out there where I'm like,
oh, God, I have a fucking cringe metal gear
fan film I made that's back out there.
That's not that bad.
And it's like, yeah, you know what,
that wasn't even that bad.
And I've got this-
But also, that was like 15 years ago.
Right, and I got this,
and then there's a fucking, you know,
Mecham thing that I just talked about
and Willie will figure it out,
or it's like, yeah, that's actually,
it's not that bad, it's all right.
I mean, there's-
No.
To me, like trying to eat a Dorito from last week,
and I screwed up,
it falls all over my chest and dick.
And I'm just like, there's Doritos everywhere,
and I was like, uh, that's like last week.
That's plenty embarrassing.
No, I'm talking about the real, real shit.
That good shit.
That good shit.
That good shit.
Mmm.
From the top shelf.
It's been aging back there for a while.
Oh, I don't like it.
And you can fucking, you can smell the cork.
I hate this.
You're like, oh, that's-
See, this is pretty cringe right now.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's fucking whatever.
It's 80 proof.
Death cringe.
So yes, what crosses that line,
it's a total lack of self-awareness.
Mm-hmm.
If you're doing cringe,
but you know in your heart that it's cringy,
good on you.
You're doing it.
I don't-
Here's the one thing,
as much as I was down and into the whole cringe gauntlets,
I haven't seen the 2019 version.
Oh, yeah.
So there's probably been some shit
in five years that'll ruin me
that I haven't seen yet.
So I don't know if my,
like I have,
I have like a fucking carapace
built for 2008.
Did you stop?
Oh yeah, I remembered that.
There was one day
that you and I were talking
about watching shit on the internet
that made us want to die.
And we both came to the conclusion
that we need to stop
because we're like,
ruining our souls.
Yeah.
That we were like horribly damaged.
Yeah.
And that was 10 years ago.
Yeah.
A lot of things have happened in the last decade.
Yeah, a lot of weird shit has happened.
A lot of new things have happened.
So.
And some of our old armor
must have fallen off.
Half of it happens in fucking VR chat.
I went and hung out.
That went away, huh?
I went out.
That thing sure disappeared.
And hung out in VR chat for a while.
It was pretty weird,
but I didn't see anything like
scandalous.
Caught some bad VR chat cringe for a while.
Everybody trying to be funny.
Nobody's laughing.
That's dude.
Everybody trying to be funny
and nobody's laughing
might be my favorite cringe.
Because it's, hey, heckler,
here's the microphone, right?
Yeah.
Drunk heckler.
Here's the microphone.
Here's the microphone.
Or this usually works on 4chan.
Why is it not working in real life?
Or whatever this is.
All right.
Oh, boy.
Oh, man.
All right.
Oh, it makes me feel good.
What's going on?
What's going on?
I'm going to be streaming Tuesday and Friday.
Probably resident able to.
Maybe something else.
That's over it.
Twitch.tv slash angry as pet.
Over on woolly versus I've got
catamari drawing to a near close.
I've got zone of the enders also
ramping up to its climax and
new new experiences, big fun times
and cool shit happening with that.
And JoJo's seven seven stand user
continues on as well.
Plus tomorrow on woolly versus on
Twitch, get into fighting games.
Gonna be sitting down with one posh P
who's a known anime player.
Awesome.
He plays anime.
He plays some good anime.
He competes very good in the guilty gears.
He competes very good in the blaze blues.
And he's also working on his own little
fun mini game called foozies, which is
all about teaching footsies.
So we're going to be looking at that stuff,
particularly blaze blue tomorrow in
depth with a pro blaze blue player.
Oh my goodness.
On the stream.
So tune in for me and Reggie and
and our boy.
And we're going to be doing that
tomorrow.
That sounds cool.
Yeah.
And I think I think I'm probably going
to put out another woolly.
We'll figure it out this week as well.
Oh, cool.
That's a podcast.
That's a podcast.
Yeah.
That's woolly versus pretty much for
all that info.
Cool.
This is a long one.
Is it?
Yeah.
We we we bantered about the memories
much of today.
Oh, we this is one of those old school
high high length fucking potters.
Give me that high length.
We did a high high length potter this
week.
Yeah.
I mean, if we if we banter for
another exactly four minutes,
we're going to hit that 430 mark.
Oh, I like that 430.
You like that 430 man.
430 was a good time when I was a child.
What was 430?
430 was I'm home from school because
school lets out at 330 and I'm done
with all my bullshit.
430 was Gargoyles just finished and
Ronan Warriors is about to start.
Yeah.
I remember getting home for four and
like fucking Gargoyles.
That was 430.
That was 430.
Oh, man.
430 was ABC 22 with the bullet with
the our garbage resolution.
Like we are channel 22 was always
super fuzzy for us.
ABC was always super duper fuzzy.
So those cartoons were always fuzzy
as well.
And the audio sound like it was
coming through a fucking tin can.
Yeah.
But it has a feeling associated with
that 430 was time to go downstairs
and start playing a game with not
enough time to get to a save point
before dinner happens at 515 to 530
leading to the always appropriate.
No, you can't say I can't.
Yeah.
Come you won't save.
Yeah.
It's no.
I know you don't care, but I just
leave it on.
No, I can't.
It doesn't work.
Turn off the TV and leave it on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how we did it.
I remember borrowing my friends
play PS2 to play Namco X Capcom
with no memory card getting to 50
fucking missions into that gigantic
long game not having the ability
to save.
So I just left the goddamn thing
on for a weekend.
It was brutal.
That's an Iron Man run.
It was rough.
It was fucking dope.
That game doesn't end.
430.
430.
You know what that is?
It's 10 more than 420.
Fuck all you people.
430 was the last show I was going
to get to watch without conflict
because around five o'clock was
Power Rangers and we would want to
watch Power Rangers, but then
my cousins would want to watch RAP
City and we would have to fight
between switching between RAP City
and Power Rangers.
That sounds awful.
Switching between the two sounds
like the worst of all worlds
for everyone.
Exactly.
Because we would basically catch
the middle break.
So we'd see, we'd skip the intro
set up.
We'd see who the monster of the
day was after they started fighting
Angel Grove.
And then we'd see the beginning
of the fight, but then the megazord
shit would all be at the end
and then we'd miss it because RAP
City.
What the fuck is RAP City?
It's literally, it's exactly what
it was like.
It's a city based on RAP?
I mean now it's a restaurant that
sells RAPs.
Okay.
But back then it was on Much Music
which is Canadian MTV.
Yeah.
And Canadian MTV would be music
television.
Yeah.
And they'd be all about RAP.
It'd be about RAP.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then it's like, if only there
was some sort of picture in picture.
If only.
If only it could show us both things
at the same time.
Yeah, that would never have been good enough
for anyone.
Back then it seemed like a fucking
miracle feature.
Yeah.
Now I have two monitors for that shit.
Do I need to watch my stupid
animes while I grind this crap?
Yes I do.
It feels like wars would have ended
if we had picture in picture in my
house full of screaming teenagers
back in the day.
But alas we did not.
And when it finally came along I was,
I didn't really appreciate it.
You had successfully eaten the remainder
of your competitors.
I do remember playing Wind Waker
picture in picture while my brother
was playing something else though.
I think.
So that was cool.
That's fucking crazy.
Yeah, we were playing video games
picture in picture for a while.
It was fun.
That sounds like the fucking worst.
It was either that or fight.
And that's how we fucking hashed it out.
Did we trade off or what?
No, no.
It was, it was, we figured it out.
And there we go.
430.
We did it.
Yeah.
We added to the length.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dash back.