Castle Super Beast - CSB 004: Panic Attacks In Paradise

Episode Date: January 29, 2019

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Pat gets stomped by X, Now Broly is Woolie best friend, and Metroid Prime 4 delays are fantastic news. RESET THE CLOCK. You can watch us reco...rd the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: アニメ「刻刻」OP 主題歌「Flashback MIYAVI vs KenKen」TVver. Metroid Prime 4 development restarted at Retro Studios Jiren, Videl, Gogeta Blue, and canon Broly revealed early for Dragon Ball FighterZ Season 2 Project Z Announcement Trailer From Software president Hidetaka Miyazaki on the possibility of a Demon’s Souls remaster Acclaimed modder Durante opens his own PC port studio Nintendo president says Switch successor / price cut not currently being considered https://www.vg247.com/2019/01/28/fallout-76-leather-jacket-gets-torn-apart-on-twitter/ https://www.vg247.com/2019/01/27/fallout-76-is-getting-pve-content-in-march-alongside-pvp-survival-mode/

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 BGM Just gotta make sure all the buttons You gotta hit all the buttons Gotta hit all the buttons, there's various buttons that need to be hit Listen, bro And I know a thing or two about hitting buttons Let me tell you
Starting point is 00:00:45 And I know a thing or two about pushing buttons I know a thing or two about hitting buttons Okay Okay, buttons, buttons Do the buttons that you put on the thing, do they make me sound on the internet? Yeah, sound is on the internet Buttons were hit
Starting point is 00:01:03 Uh-huh And Audio is being converted into A wave file or everything Into a format Oh, that's super That is compressing You know what's
Starting point is 00:01:14 And being injected into people's ears Oh, that's good You know what that makes me think of? Because you started to do the buttons You started Buttons You started to tip it to tap it Buttons
Starting point is 00:01:26 And you weren't looking at me, you were looking at the thing And you muttered this vague, personless dialogue Which may not even be on the recording Which was, okay, hold on Hold on A second And it reminds me of a clip somebody sent me From a recent stream that you did
Starting point is 00:01:49 In which you described that the person who came up with the hold on emote Is a genius Because that is something that everybody can relate to on Twitch Did you ever follow up on that statement even a little? It's your fucking emote Of course it's my emote All right, all right Of course it's my emote
Starting point is 00:02:17 Wow Do you know where that came from? I did a fucking stream where I did 90 minutes Of tech support on my own stream Because I couldn't get something to fucking work And you kept saying, hold on And then people were like, you should make that an emote And I think my buddy Stride made it
Starting point is 00:02:37 Yeah Okay Fair Fair No, I had a fun moment where I'm browsing the subreddit And it's just this clip from what? Will he call Pat a genius? Okay, wait, this must be a joke
Starting point is 00:02:52 And sure enough, it's you just absolutely Wow, whoever came up with that is so smart So smart Yeah And I was like I was like just nipple rubbing just Oh, can't wait to bring this up I hope there is absolutely no follow up to this at all
Starting point is 00:03:15 Because I would be like if I had started that spiel And you did anything but look at me With a kind of vacant look Oh, it's like oh, we all see it coming It's gonna be a moment But no, of course, ha Yeah, it's got legs That's an emote with legs
Starting point is 00:03:34 It's perfect for many situations That's what you're looking for generally The attributes of a good emote Are the attributes that you lack in real life And you know You know what? I'm sorry, I had trouble hearing you Over the loud crunch of me opening up
Starting point is 00:03:52 My delicious sugar-free red bowl Hidden behind the microphone, no less And if you're trying to hit the visual on this audio podcast Yeah, well, that's why I opened it so closely To the microphone Slurp So delicious that the sugar-free raises my risk of stroke Significantly
Starting point is 00:04:15 Mmm Yum energy drink Delicious All right Good for you Well For giving you wings Yes
Starting point is 00:04:25 Then they had to take that out because People were like, it lets me fly And they're like, no And then advertising agencies were like Or regulatory bodies were like You really can't tell people that this thing will make them fly Because people is fucking dumb Well, either way
Starting point is 00:04:44 Get into fighting games Off to a A rollicking good start With the The waves The waves, the social media waves coming off of that So Good times
Starting point is 00:04:58 Good times Yeah I'm trying to Like has there ever been a channel that has just changed its name to RB Castle Super Beast Has there been a full on rebrand where the name of the channel itself Is sponsored If I had like a joke like shirt or Red Bull hat
Starting point is 00:05:22 That somebody I would absolutely be wearing it right now Yeah, well that's For the full effect The honest truth is like right when that whole There's a hilarious Twitter war involving Red Bull That happened earlier this week I told Red Bull that I love them And Red Bull did not reciprocate my love
Starting point is 00:05:39 They just said to, you know, keep on Well the fun part was finding out that like All this was happening as you were live So each version of the updated story was greeted with a live Footage Reaction Of you screaming no Listen
Starting point is 00:05:55 So over the weekend Red Bull paid attention to Woolly But not to me And I was very upset by this Well, that's cause great minds think alike And You know Legally distinctly alike
Starting point is 00:06:09 Yeah And You know Brands that meme together Dream together Fuck off That's where we're going Having said the original point that you made
Starting point is 00:06:22 Which was Sometimes you have to take the L so you can get a win later I feel is a significant addendum to just straight up play to win Yes it is And that was the point Is play to win is not the first step You gotta play to learn first Cause play to win can also be self-defeating
Starting point is 00:06:39 Like Pat that child doesn't know how to play the game Play to win Yeah It helps no one It was necessary And it was necessary at a time when People were coming off of Arcade culture
Starting point is 00:06:55 With a feeling that like there are certain things that are cheap And there are certain things you just should not do It was It was It was necessary in a world in which scrub quotes were not relegated To that one guy's really funny twitter account Exactly They were in front of you
Starting point is 00:07:13 Physically accosting you Yes Every single time you'd go out to an arcade or play locally with somebody And you know At some point In the mid-2000s I read an issue I read a chapter of Vagabond where
Starting point is 00:07:32 Miyamoto Musashi in a bid to Not get fucking killed Grab some dirt and throw it in a guy's eye And just fucking hightails it out of his sword range And everyone's like What the fuck What a scumbag What is your honor
Starting point is 00:07:47 And he's like Each shit I'm trying not to die I'm alive now You know And I was like Oh Reminds me of this So over on Quora Gaming
Starting point is 00:08:00 Oh god What video was this I forget what it was It was one of the recent ones But he interviews an old Korean Tekken player And describes how You know Back in the day
Starting point is 00:08:14 Low kicks Just You know The old guy They'd really look down on you If you'd use those low kicks And I can tell even now The pro guys who are from that era
Starting point is 00:08:26 They still don't like it But they're just quiet They just don't talk about it So like they're going to tournaments They're placing top 8 in tournaments And they're just going like He's fucking I can't believe everyone's doing these cheap ass low kicks
Starting point is 00:08:38 I mean The hilarious thing with like throws In particular early on Was that there was no Tekking Yeah So throwing was just Now let's do a history lesson for a second Massive chunk of your life
Starting point is 00:08:49 In Street Fighter 2 Throws are a crime Throws are supers Throws are supers in Street Fighter 2 What is it The fifth of your life part A full like sometimes quarter Depends on the character
Starting point is 00:09:01 There's no Tek There's like There's no way to get out of it The range is extraordinarily ambiguous And I mean When they eventually did add Tekking They only added Tekking To throws that were like
Starting point is 00:09:16 Physical actual throws They didn't add Tekking to shit like Fucking Balrog's headbutt Which is the real problem Getting grabs Ended up being things that were like No Tek on this You just gotta mash to get out faster
Starting point is 00:09:29 You're gonna eat damage either way It was insane It was insane Um Like you remember the guy Whoever the fucking first guy was Who figured out It's like I can do the throw
Starting point is 00:09:38 And then I just walk a little bit And then do a punch And then do the throw And then And then the situation around the cabinet Would often escalate The fight takes to real life Is what would happen
Starting point is 00:09:53 Particularly for anyone That's younger than us Like we're at that point Where we now have to Because arcades have been gone for Longer than some of people Listening to this have been alive Right?
Starting point is 00:10:05 It's like You're taking that man's money That man put money It's a little It's a tiny piece of money It's a quarter But I took it away from you Yeah
Starting point is 00:10:16 Yeah It became 50 cents very quickly To be perfectly honest But yeah Yeah That's exactly it And then you didn't have an understanding Of like
Starting point is 00:10:27 Why throws need to exist Right? There was no thinking about the game On a level where You go Where you think that there's a rock A paper and a scissors That needs to occur
Starting point is 00:10:37 You kind of just thought There was a seven There was attacking And there was blocking And I mean even the kids That were older than that There was kids that were teenagers That still didn't really just
Starting point is 00:10:48 You're just like You're like no Why block And you just do shit How could you know that It was the dawn of fighting games Exactly Exactly
Starting point is 00:10:56 So what was amazing Is that the fucking Akira Nishitani knew that Yeah You know And Capcom knew that And they understood right away When they were making the game
Starting point is 00:11:06 That they're like Oh, just blocking Is a problem We need to have a reason For people to not just do that For the whole round You know And then they came up with throws
Starting point is 00:11:16 But yes That was absolutely a way To fucking escalate the situation And all this led to A code of like Nobility that existed in a way Where You'd also offer up second rounds
Starting point is 00:11:29 If you won the first one To guarantee that we can get to play more That I understand That was a Hyper popular house rule Yes That I completely understand Because that was one where
Starting point is 00:11:42 At the end of the day We both put money into this And we're not going to get to play it Anywhere else And we need training time So round two was the lab You were allowed to lab in round two Because there was no other time
Starting point is 00:11:55 You were going to get to train So whoever wins the first round Especially in matches Where it's like that first round was easy Basically But of course The one thing is like If you
Starting point is 00:12:07 You had to kind of know The person you were playing with Because if you're both just strangers And you give them a round two Then it's like Well now If they're going to win that second one Then you lose your quarter
Starting point is 00:12:17 So that was kind of the thing Is you're allowed to be like I'd rather keep my quarter You know But in general That round two was the only time You're going to get to really test shit out Do stupid bullshit
Starting point is 00:12:28 You see some things that someone else On another cabinet did And you want to figure out What the fuck happened Or someone told you Some fucking lie And you wanted to see if you could do it Because it sounded crazy
Starting point is 00:12:40 Oh it was a fucking lie If you pause the frame When Chun-Li does her fireball You can see her butt You totally Totally can see her butt Yeah Or Giles handcuffs
Starting point is 00:12:52 What the fuck What kind of garbage is that Yo man I played a version of the game That had scorpion in it And he threw the spear at Ryu And his head came off It was crazy
Starting point is 00:13:01 No for real I played it I played it out in Buffalo You didn't Yo I was On vacation With my folks With Niagara Falls
Starting point is 00:13:11 No I saw a version of the game Yo Someone was changing Mid fight Into different characters And in the beginning They floated up into the air And then you could do
Starting point is 00:13:20 Air Hadokens It was fucking crazy Mike Why are you such a liar Dylan Why are you fucking lying You know what Bringing all these lies To class again
Starting point is 00:13:29 I'm thinking back It's like That was a wild era Where it was At best Proto internet Well word of mouth Was what the game
Starting point is 00:13:37 Of first had As special moves were hidden Yeah You know You had the cabs With the fucking things On the Whatchamacallit
Starting point is 00:13:47 Yeah but those were almost Never the whole Or you'd see some other dirty Cab that was just The game was translated into And you wouldn't get it moved So people had to go word of mouth To figure out specials
Starting point is 00:13:55 So you were already Listening to rumors And then you get For Street Fighter Then you get Jimmy And Jimmy's just like I'm just gonna fucking lie About some bullshit
Starting point is 00:14:03 And I'm thinking about How that never I always lamented That the era Of the huge Obviously fake lie Yeah That the guy
Starting point is 00:14:15 Seems to believe Themself They're so adamant It was gone Yeah But then I realized It's not gone Yeah
Starting point is 00:14:23 It just changed It changed into Fabricated falsity So Hey dude If you do Blah blah blah blah Blah blah blah
Starting point is 00:14:33 And then you can fight Fucking Sapphire weapon You can get Eris back to life Whoa Right Yeah
Starting point is 00:14:41 You remember that guy I remember that guy So that used to Just be like I'm full of shit Blah blah blah But you had no way To confirm it
Starting point is 00:14:49 Cause there was always It was always like Some ridiculous process Right This has now turned into Hey you do this Blah blah blah And you're like
Starting point is 00:14:57 Yeah you're full of shit Up comes Here's a video Of me doing it Right That I Hacked together With cheat engine
Starting point is 00:15:05 And model rips Wow that looks Super real Right I mean Once upon a time There was When
Starting point is 00:15:13 My cousin Marlin came home And was like I just got back From the arcade Down at Spot Bowlin And I seen
Starting point is 00:15:21 Street Fighter With a new version And there's This new girl in it And she's British And then there's this This crazy Big Native American guy
Starting point is 00:15:32 And then there's a Jamaican in the game And I was like You're just lying Stop it Why are you full of shit And that's my Why are you full of shit
Starting point is 00:15:40 And he's like Naw Because the whole thing Was our family And Jamaican Representing something like They put Jamaican in the game Just a stage and everything
Starting point is 00:15:48 And I'm just like You are You're just the fucking worst You're gonna come And you're gonna lie to me On the Sabbath You're gonna lie to me On the Sabbath Marlin
Starting point is 00:15:56 For real And he's like No And he does like He goes like Max out And he does the whole thing And he's getting really
Starting point is 00:16:04 Hyped for it And he's like You're the worst You're the oldest And you're literally fucking coming To bringing this bullshit Back to the house Oh my god
Starting point is 00:16:13 And just lying at all of us How dare you On the Sabbath How I can think of very few more Like Either depressing Or just like
Starting point is 00:16:22 Angry moments of like I'm telling you the truth Just being met with like Flat out like Why are you lying Why are you lying Like zero fucking shit Dude there is free
Starting point is 00:16:35 Ice cream Just talk to that guy He will give you free ice cream Right Trying to trick me To talk to that weird man Cause he's giving free ice cream Like
Starting point is 00:16:45 Bruce Lee is in the game What shut up That's a lie Like a big Another grappler is in the game And they put a Jamaican in it And we're just like And there's no way to prove this
Starting point is 00:16:58 I can't leave the house Wait just take a picture With your phone Oh no Zero There was I just sat in the house And went
Starting point is 00:17:07 You lied And that's the end of it I'm not even going to attempt to Look at And you're like And he can only give me Whatever details Based on the rounds
Starting point is 00:17:16 He you know Peaked and saw a little bit So for sure I didn't see It was just Yeah That remained In the hard
Starting point is 00:17:24 Lie case For a while Until I want to say like The game pro came out Where they were on the fucking cover With the new challengers Did he grab it On your face
Starting point is 00:17:34 No I just I think when we actually saw it We just kind of were like Oh shit Oh fuck Oh and like I mean whatever He wasn't around
Starting point is 00:17:42 Do you apologize to this man I don't think we ever Apologize Whatever You asshole Oh he deserved it Oh yeah He fucking
Starting point is 00:17:50 He did dirt What oh sure Of course He fucked with us anyway So he deserved it But regardless You know He fucking
Starting point is 00:17:58 Ah fuck him Yeah And then you saw the words Maximum The side you're playing on And then you saw his Big ass smile And you're like
Starting point is 00:18:06 Yeah It's fine Turns out he wasn't that great But hey Hey Jamaica got represented So Even though the stage Kind of looks like Cuba
Starting point is 00:18:17 And the music is a little like Cuba It really looks a little bit Like Like Central America But it's okay More than the islands They tried They could have done worse
Starting point is 00:18:30 Yeah We know this We actually hard confirmed That they could have done worse Anyway So all that to say That playing to win Yeah
Starting point is 00:18:43 Is Is the mentality that needed To come into existence So that People would realize That throwing is not cheap Low kicks are not cheap Low punches are not cheap
Starting point is 00:18:54 Follow up attacks in virtual Fighter Are not cheap Doing the Jumping off the stage To chase someone in smash Is not cheap Ring outs and soul caliber
Starting point is 00:19:06 Oh You want to talk Man It was like traveling back in time To fucking 94 When fucking VF And soul coward
Starting point is 00:19:15 Ahead in the day With fucking ring outs Holy shit You know what I'm I'm still I'm like I'm still kind of
Starting point is 00:19:25 Not fully convinced On the ring outs You get like It'll never be gone Like it'll always be It'll always be Hey yeah nice Good ring out
Starting point is 00:19:34 But in the bat Initial reactions You motherfucker You motherfucker How dare you How many times Have you been ringed out By a Jackie player
Starting point is 00:19:43 Doing that Fucking summer soul And you just go The whole match Didn't matter at all It was just this one Every decision It was just him
Starting point is 00:19:53 Holding up back In that fucking kick A move that has only Gotten stronger Over the decades Like I don't I might be wrong
Starting point is 00:20:05 But I feel I don't think the first Guilty Gear ever came to arcades I'm not sure No I think it was a PS1 game I think it was just PS1 It could be wrong obviously And I want to say
Starting point is 00:20:14 That like That was probably A brilliant decision Because the idea Of hitting someone With an unblockable Not unblockable With an instant kill
Starting point is 00:20:22 And losing the match In round one Is like Holy shit You're getting stabbed Doesn't matter How bad the move is Like people are going
Starting point is 00:20:32 To get hit with it Because it's like This is not a time frame When people are thinking Oh I should probably Just block when I see you Activate Come out
Starting point is 00:20:40 Like 97 Yeah Early enough Someone's doing their Instant kill And you're going to Get hit with it Because you're jumping around
Starting point is 00:20:48 Pressing buttons Like an idiot And now you die And you don't get a second Round For bullshit No way You're getting out of there
Starting point is 00:20:56 Without a knife in your body Was Axel in Guilty Gear original Axel Rose Axel Lowe Axel Lowe rather I don't think so I think he was GGX
Starting point is 00:21:06 Okay Yeah Because like you take Axel Maybe yeah You take Axel Because remember His IK is the whole floor Yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:21:16 That's the one That's the one To pick to get stabbed I mean there's Yeah he was He was in the first game He was in the first game Yeah
Starting point is 00:21:26 But just Definitely like Definitely a good decision Not putting that In a place where Money was on the line Immediately That's for sure
Starting point is 00:21:35 When did Marvel 2 Come out? Like 2001 2001 was CVS Okay Marvel 2 Couldn't have been too far
Starting point is 00:21:46 Because Marvel 2 Was still It's still needed Play to win Because Marvel 2 Is cheap It is Fucked up
Starting point is 00:21:56 But so was X-Men vs Street Fighter When it first came out Yeah Anything as fucked up As fucking Marvel 2 I mean like Marvel 2 Like it all Like there's
Starting point is 00:22:05 There's infinites And all kinds of garbage In those games But Marvel 2 Just kind of said Fuck it and threw it all To the wind And said
Starting point is 00:22:13 Figure it out on your own Which they did Very very very efficiently But yeah You had to have A mentality out there That was like Listen
Starting point is 00:22:22 What you're trying to do here Is win the match And anything that the game That the devs put in the game Is a tool that you're meant to use If you can So don't feel like You should be
Starting point is 00:22:33 Don't think that extraneous Things should like Badger you out of trying To win the game If you can Do whatever it takes Especially in an era In which like
Starting point is 00:22:42 The devs only had one Shot to put this in Because there's no patching Or you know You get arcade revisions But that was a whole fucking thing Yeah Right?
Starting point is 00:22:51 It's like They didn't put it in there Unless they were pretty sure You know what I think the most ridiculous one I ever encountered was Was a guy Who tried to convince me
Starting point is 00:23:01 That running In ultimate Mortal Kombat 3 Was cheap Or MK3 was cheap Wow It's like It's a dedicated
Starting point is 00:23:10 Fucking button On the board That's interesting That's fucking good That's like Because in MK2 You can't run So it's cheap
Starting point is 00:23:19 Like If you get hit By Paul's unblockable punch That was cheap That's cheap Unblockables are cheap Just back back And fucking Yoshi Mitsu stab
Starting point is 00:23:28 Some in suffering Ivy's some in suffering Look how much damage that did That's cheap as fuck Yeah Let's ignore the fact That that thing has The most asinine
Starting point is 00:23:37 Overcomplex input ever For no reason So Left to our own devices We are feeble creatures That will come up with Some bullshit reasons Why
Starting point is 00:23:48 We didn't win And Johns Johns are a natural evolution Right Johns are a part of humanity We all have John inside And John comes out
Starting point is 00:23:57 I Play to win Exists To fight John Yeah Right And What a horrible legacy
Starting point is 00:24:05 What's John up to now? No Probably not still Playing Smash Bros One would imagine He got out of the game One would imagine He made the switch
Starting point is 00:24:15 To Bloodstorm But But eventually then You know You have to have Then once fighting games Stop becoming Like
Starting point is 00:24:25 I guess what Once the fighting game Community is no longer At the bottom of Blighttown Yes Right We're clothed We're bathed
Starting point is 00:24:36 We can see Once we can see That the arcade cabinets Are not way down in the pits No And you've got to get past The mask man Blowing the dart situ
Starting point is 00:24:44 To get down there And play the games Then you go Okay I actually want to learn How to play this Maybe Maybe I should give this
Starting point is 00:24:52 This cleared out Blighttown a risk You know And you still have to walk Through the empty Blighttown That it's not It's better lit The framerate is
Starting point is 00:25:00 A little bit better It's still a pretty sketchy place Sliding down those ladders And you're like Let's go walk down To those arcades They're right down there And
Starting point is 00:25:08 You eventually do that And it's like Hey we're more and more Inviting now We put up a sign They'll sign this Blighttown is crossed out And it says like
Starting point is 00:25:16 Casuals welcome New players welcome And so you're kind of Fucking edging your way down Through the muck And you're like I'm not poisoned It's okay
Starting point is 00:25:26 And I feel like That's when you need To have someone tell you Hey hey hey hey It's okay Don't play to win Play to learn
Starting point is 00:25:34 Because You're not going to win Those first couple rounds Why? Because you're ankle deep In toxic So That's going to kill you
Starting point is 00:25:43 No matter what So don't worry about The losses for now I'm just thinking back You remember everybody Making fun of 0-9ers By the way To those of you who don't know
Starting point is 00:25:52 0-9ers are people who Got into fighting games In 0-9 with Street Fighter 4 And people making fun of them Was like Ah these kids Ah whatever So I think that might
Starting point is 00:26:01 Have been the fucking Most positive thing To happen to fighting games In like Over a decade Because that That having to deal With the 0-9ers
Starting point is 00:26:10 Using big ass air quotes Is what led to Casuals welcome Yeah It led Because Prior Like 0-8
Starting point is 00:26:18 And prior Bearing stain bears That was No girls allowed Fucking locked in Gated community Of toxic mother fuckers Oh no
Starting point is 00:26:26 We're staring over No girls allowed Bearing stain bears We're looking down Through the sign Like Mmm No homers club
Starting point is 00:26:34 So you want to play At the man says As he sharpens the knife Yeah Eat Come You know Like
Starting point is 00:26:43 It was the kind of place Where Hey man That guy looks new Okay Fucking rush him So that he Fucking quits the game
Starting point is 00:26:52 Like Like beat him so bad He never comes back Was like The up Revealing mentality And 1 out of 30 Might
Starting point is 00:27:01 And then you crush them again And then they Yeah But then 1 out of 50 of those That come back A second time
Starting point is 00:27:10 Come back a third time Yeah And then you go Alright Maybe But first Keep crushing him For a while
Starting point is 00:27:19 And if he's got money Then you're like Alright yeah Only those With the spirits That can endure This weird Ritualistic
Starting point is 00:27:27 Fighting game Based hazing Can play In this arena Although Also eventually The rich kid Who had it on
Starting point is 00:27:37 At home That knew everything Coming out of the fucking Womped your ass And just had Because he had a lab He had a lab Before anyone else
Starting point is 00:27:45 And then it was like Oh fuck Oh shit The game has changed Q fucking Tron uprising Soundtrack Like that
Starting point is 00:27:54 That got Way different When people would come up With their actual lab time And then you have to Then you have to fight against Like actual Legit console players
Starting point is 00:28:03 Man Fuck Fuck Oh man I remember I remember So God
Starting point is 00:28:12 Which one was it It was one of the Tekken games Let you Five Plug in a control Five Right That's so wild
Starting point is 00:28:20 In the slot Right That was so wild Except I have never Seen A Tekken 5 cabinet That didn't have those things
Starting point is 00:28:28 Ruined Exactly Because And I always In the back of my mind Was like Arcade players Making sure
Starting point is 00:28:38 Are they making Sure Insurance That console players Aren't coming down To their arcade Maybe That's not even
Starting point is 00:28:47 That's the first time I've actually had that theory To get there Not once Did I see a working Controller port on those things Yeah They were always destroyed
Starting point is 00:28:55 With gum or peanut butter Or some shit And gum I could understand Right Oh I'm chewing gum Peanut butter That's so wild
Starting point is 00:29:03 Peanut butter with arcade No again You're pulling it out of your lunch bag Because you were that much of a child I definitely Yeah Oh that's okay You're pulling it out of your lunch bag
Starting point is 00:29:11 That's what's happening But The fact that it was fucking Yeah It could have been Deliver it I never considered that angle of it What's funny is nowadays
Starting point is 00:29:21 If I were to go back Like Now I've played so much more Tekken on pad That I would Absolutely plug a pad in 100% be a pad warrior And that
Starting point is 00:29:32 It would be super weird But Tekken's weird for me And that I'm right on the middle It's like I don't know which I'd rather play Because Tekken maps
Starting point is 00:29:40 It's buttons Perfectly well To a controller And you don't have to do Like your inputs on the stick Are not so Over the top That like
Starting point is 00:29:51 You have to really really worry But if you're doing Korean Backdashing And shit like that Then like You fucking Gotta be on point with it You know
Starting point is 00:29:59 But yeah That's That's possibly why that happened But all that to say That O'Niner's Play to learn That whole thing
Starting point is 00:30:07 There are O'Niner's that have won Evo Absolutely So The second best player In Montreal For a very long time Was an O'Niner Yeah
Starting point is 00:30:16 And that was That was a very clear Hey everybody Shut the fuck up About your elitism Like here's a dude That was like Brand new
Starting point is 00:30:24 First game he ever First fighting game he ever played Was Street Fighter 4 And he's crushing All of you at it You were all You know Week before his
Starting point is 00:30:32 Tiny might It was It was incredible Shoutouts to Snafu Dude fucking Absolutely Put Like
Starting point is 00:30:40 Ripped a tear through The The local community With like Four being his first fighting game And in fact It was the one of the first dudes We ever fought in Bracket
Starting point is 00:30:49 Back at the Dawson tournament Oh wow Hey look I'm getting upset in my chest It's irrational It's irrational But I'm getting Like
Starting point is 00:30:58 Fucking upset Right And the people who couldn't Move past that feeling Yeah of course They'd be like Fucking mad Cuz
Starting point is 00:31:07 Man I've been playing this Shit forever I can't believe this Young new upstart I was All state back in Football You ready for it?
Starting point is 00:31:15 You ready for it? That was ten years ago That was A fucking thank you In just a couple weeks Yeah That was A fucking thank you
Starting point is 00:31:25 In just a couple weeks Yeah That was ten years ago Ten fucking years That's wild Beyond wild I don't even know How to like
Starting point is 00:31:37 Yeah That's beyond setting in That's just Just bathed me in it Cuz my mind Like oh nine was like I don't know Like a couple weeks ago
Starting point is 00:31:47 Yeah Yeah Well it's because And I think it's just because Like we're the exact age where Like Like Everything before that
Starting point is 00:31:58 Like school years are Longer And much more Like life is so Your life You had lived so little life That every year Was that
Starting point is 00:32:08 Was a considerable percentage Of your life That is actually The exact specific reason Why A year seemed to go faster Really Yeah
Starting point is 00:32:17 Because they represent a smaller Percentage of your overall Span of memory When you turn ten That last year of your life One ten Well More like one sixth of your life
Starting point is 00:32:27 Of memory Right If you're considering Yeah chop the first three off Yeah they're not Maybe four tops So then you turn You know what I mean
Starting point is 00:32:35 So every year after that Is like A huge percentage Of your entire existence So when we hit You know Whatever fifteen You're still just like
Starting point is 00:32:45 Fuck like That's huge That's a huge part of my existence You know what You know what That reminds me Oh god You remember
Starting point is 00:32:53 I don't know This is everybody But back when games You'd be opening up EGM You'd be opening up EGM 97 Oh hey Game has been delayed From this holiday season
Starting point is 00:33:05 To summer Right Mm-hmm Fuck Oh my god I have to wait till the end To the fucking school Are you
Starting point is 00:33:14 Oh my god That's Now it gets delayed Two years Oh yeah that's fine Don't worry man Right Right
Starting point is 00:33:23 Yeah Like I'm gonna be in grade nine by then I won't even Care about Street Fighter then A new system's gonna be out Yeah That was always the one too
Starting point is 00:33:36 It was just the thought That like Oh no What if a new system comes out Because That's Well we We've talked about the whole
Starting point is 00:33:44 Like You just You get the Christmas gift And that's what's happening But like Or not Positioning Open negotiations
Starting point is 00:33:53 On the possibility Of a consideration Like Of getting A different console You say You say kids Or young people aren't smart
Starting point is 00:34:03 I remember Setting up the groundwork To get Consoles Like 18 months ahead of time Wow Right
Starting point is 00:34:12 Just like Just like As soon as I knew The new one would be Like the PS2 It's like Man This
Starting point is 00:34:20 Bull I mean Your games look great Pat Nothing looks better You're crazy I don't know They're running
Starting point is 00:34:29 They're not making games For it anymore It's just like Trying to get that And then Then you go on this Like Oh wow dad
Starting point is 00:34:37 Look at that I remember The game was Final Fantasy 10 That was the game That got me at PlayStation 2 I was like Holy shit Remember that
Starting point is 00:34:46 Other one Oh man That looks crazy Oh wow Hey you know I have like Two I saved up like
Starting point is 00:34:54 200 bucks And it's like You gotta Thread that needle of annoyance Of just like Okay The parents already Been annoyed for a year
Starting point is 00:35:05 About this Yeah Are they willing to be annoyed About it For another year No they're not Can we get a pool dad Can we get a pool dad
Starting point is 00:35:14 Can we get a pool I think he gets the picture Yeah Yeah It In particular In my case I definitely remember the
Starting point is 00:35:22 Like Okay so What you need to do Is maximize The What I want to call The shop Shoppers network
Starting point is 00:35:33 Countdown timer Okay Right Apply that to real life So Oh fuck Oh shit Gavin's selling his Dreamcast
Starting point is 00:35:43 Gavin's selling his Dreamcast Okay And he's selling it With a controller of VMU And like Four of his games And he's selling it for like 150 bucks
Starting point is 00:35:53 But it's now It's gotta be right now You don't understand No no no no Like This is the deal of a century Troy is already talking to him Right now
Starting point is 00:36:03 I got Like I can't Hmm Right And on top of that And here's the thing Mom Like
Starting point is 00:36:12 He also figured out a way So that he's got these burns Of other games So it's like We're not even gonna have to spend On the other shit Because he's got these These burned games
Starting point is 00:36:22 And like that's already a hookup Yeah So it's practically A fucking thousand dollar deal Right now But we gotta get it immediately Yeah it's like Okay cool
Starting point is 00:36:31 That's happening right And it's like Okay but But I want And there'd always be a sort of like Okay but your next report card Needs to be like Yeah
Starting point is 00:36:40 But So it'll be like Okay how about that And it'll be like That's That's the months away Yeah I don't have to think about that right now Okay
Starting point is 00:36:48 Get it now Yeah And then if I fail Or it's not below Then you can You take the console Take it away Yeah
Starting point is 00:36:56 And if you mind you're thinking Well that's one That's future wooly Who gives a shit Of course Of course But two Even if that gets taken away
Starting point is 00:37:04 I still have it now It's in the house And it's in the house I can just earn it back I remember Being able to convince my dad To get Upgrades for the PC
Starting point is 00:37:13 Because You know If we got upgrades for the PC Made it faster And got a CD burner I wouldn't have to buy any playstation games Anymore at all Right
Starting point is 00:37:24 And it's like Bam done deal Yeah Big one investment Now the thing with that Of course is like So that goes down The report card is
Starting point is 00:37:32 Is in A fucking Whatever it's in future land Who cares But we got it now And the things are all set up But only one controller And it's like
Starting point is 00:37:41 Well hey now Look Listen I mean we got one And that's cool and all But We can go all cane and able In the household
Starting point is 00:37:49 Quite frankly Or Or you know what I mean So let's just Shut up a little bit Pony up a little bit And we can fucking Take care of this right now
Starting point is 00:37:57 Right here Yeah How about we head out in the back No contracts No deals I don't have to ring this up On the register And
Starting point is 00:38:05 Bada bing bada boom We're taking care of Yup There's a day And then let me head down To the microplane on the street Plus another controller Maybe another VMU
Starting point is 00:38:13 Who knows Who knows Two VMUs Extra storage space I mean look You hear the first one It's beeping all the time It's out of batteries
Starting point is 00:38:21 That's the problem That's the problem is It starts beeping after a while Right You can't stop the beeping What about you You can't stop the beeping So we gotta get a new one
Starting point is 00:38:29 So let's get You get me that You get me the controller We get that extra VMU We're good We're good There's four slots there I mean
Starting point is 00:38:37 Don't worry Yeah You don't need that And then you Then you get You set it all up And that was Like
Starting point is 00:38:45 Jockeying Jockeying on the situation And of course like Gavin was like Yeah dude I'll hold it for you Whatever it is again Okay fucking just Not too loud
Starting point is 00:38:54 And now Not too loud on the phone And now we live in this Fucked up universe In which The average Child That's like
Starting point is 00:39:04 Oh yeah no My older brother Or my older sister Or my mom Just gave me Their old PlayStation 3 Yeah
Starting point is 00:39:12 Or what And it's like Oh That world Oh your parents are into it Yeah So you didn't have to Hustle it
Starting point is 00:39:20 Cause your parents Didn't have to Hustle themselves Yeah They just got it And it's like Now here's the Here's the real hustle though
Starting point is 00:39:28 Here's the real fucking Set up right Were you able to Work it in such a way That The handhelds Existed on their New budget
Starting point is 00:39:38 And timeline Because that's the Real tricky shit If you can follow The handheld timeline Separate from the console budget So You're fucking living big
Starting point is 00:39:50 I might have been Able to do that Cause that's hard I might have been Able to do that I had a thing Set up Where it's like
Starting point is 00:39:58 Long term Christmas Would have been consoles Right Every four Five Christmases Bam new console Right
Starting point is 00:40:06 Birthdays Cause the trick was That I had My brother and sister My brother Played games Just as much as me
Starting point is 00:40:15 My sister a little bit So it's like Oh it could be a gift for all You know that kind of shit Yeah yeah yeah yeah Handhelds didn't have that Thing because They're handhelds
Starting point is 00:40:23 They're necessarily More You know personal Right And I might have Been able to get that going Except the first handheld I aimed at
Starting point is 00:40:31 Was the game gear Things sucked Barely played it Right Any other attempt After that was like But you never played That other one
Starting point is 00:40:40 Yeah yeah yeah Ages ago Fuck this Yeah yeah No that's like If I got If I aimed at a game boy Or a game boy color
Starting point is 00:40:48 Fucking whatever Fucking no problem But I missed See cause that That's the thing is Like once Once it got set up right
Starting point is 00:40:59 Once it got established With that original And then I don't even know What happened to it But I didn't have that original for I had it for a while And I got it
Starting point is 00:41:08 I went through all those games And whatnot But once Once you had that established That you're like Okay There's It's a different toy
Starting point is 00:41:16 Yeah It's not the same as The Nintendo No it's very different This is a different toy It's This is coming on the road In the car
Starting point is 00:41:24 See Right I'm quiet Look at me Be quiet Exactly And that green That green one right there
Starting point is 00:41:32 That was like A mischief or whatever Bullshit Cause look This is a pacifier This is There you go You know what I mean
Starting point is 00:41:40 Like no problem And you basically set it up To be that kind of thing And then in addition to that Of course Like You have the fact that Like
Starting point is 00:41:48 You If you're willing to go And like Buy a game for it With your own money That you've gotten For your birthday Or whatever
Starting point is 00:41:56 And your brother spends His money on his own thing It very clearly makes it Like this is not The family Nintendo This is mine You know Like
Starting point is 00:42:04 You know Like You know Like Come on What are you doing here Exactly What are you talking about
Starting point is 00:42:12 So yeah You create a very clear Gap in the two So that you can piggyback Fucking expenses And they don't feel like You're spending on the same Thing
Starting point is 00:42:20 Very important Crucial Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen
Starting point is 00:42:28 Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen
Starting point is 00:42:36 Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen
Starting point is 00:42:44 Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen
Starting point is 00:42:54 Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen
Starting point is 00:43:02 Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen
Starting point is 00:43:11 Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen Listen
Starting point is 00:43:27 Listen We can sit here, we can play our games, or we can go outside to the arcade and play some games, or we can go to the comic book shop. And look at the magazines about games. And then in the back they had the TVs running where we then play some games. Alternatively we could go to the store, look at the games, talk about what games we want to buy or rent later. Or I can head over to fucking Kingsley's house and play some fucking games. Like, what do you want? Or, or, or, I can go to a street corner and shoot meth.
Starting point is 00:43:59 Is that what you want, mom? Yeah, you know, it actually kind of, actually meth didn't exist at that point in time so I just kind of screwed up. But, but it actually kind of helped that there was a literal gang roving the streets of our neighborhood, literally like within the block we were on. So it was like, yeah, you can go outside and play in the streets, but do you really want that considering the history we've had? I think the biggest mistake my mother ever made was letting me overhear the words she said to my dad was like, well, at least he's not hanging out on some street corner with some, some bad kids or something. When they were like, dad was complaining, all the kids do was staying and playing games.
Starting point is 00:44:43 And I overheard that and that got rolled into it's like, listen, I could go, I mean, we could go hang out and I don't know when I'll be back. Or we could go to the blockbuster and get a rental for this fucking game. Oh man. Well, because once upon a time, like, because here's the thing, like, especially when you live out in the, in the super suburb areas, there's like, there's the roving bike pack, right? And that's like in their head, what it was was the kids from Stranger Things, just doing their laps around town on their bikes. Having adventures.
Starting point is 00:45:19 Right. And but then eventually that updated to, oh no, that's a roving pack of gang. That is a roving murder of crows. So I grew up. You can tell because they have the fucking bandana colors on their handlebars. Yeah, I grew up nearly explicitly in the suburbs. And like the idealized version that I think my parents thought would exist was, oh, the kids would go ride the bikes and, and all have fun adventures like the Stranger Things, right?
Starting point is 00:45:46 It's like, you know what that is? That's a bunch of bored kids. Yeah. That for whatever reason can't be at home and they're bored and they're going to get up to something. They might be, I don't know, huff and paint at your local playground or whatever, but they're bored. Like I'm still, if I see like a bunch of kids riding bikes and they look bored, that makes me like, I don't like it. Yes, because the deal was like the same kids that jumped my fucking brother, the same kids that fucking ended up stabbing a dude near the metro where we lived,
Starting point is 00:46:28 were the same guys that also rode their bikes to chase another dude through the park that was across from us and like fucking like jumped them at the end of it. But it's like the bike thing is not the Innocent Stranger Kids thing anymore. That's gone now. So outside is now actually like a random battle zone. And, you know, you still need to let us travel and learn how to fucking wander the overworld because you got to get those skills. The only reason anyone would ever be outside is because it's too fucked up to stay at home. So think about what those people are like.
Starting point is 00:47:05 Yeah. No, it definitely, parents needed, they pushed off that update, the PVP update. There was a PVP update to the world and they were like, now I'll install it later. I'll install it later. It's like, nah, it's happening now though. Like, I still go out and hang out with friends of mine at elementary school, like at the local park, and you know, whatever, just hang out and be stupid kids. But it's like, every time we were not at home playing video games and we were playing outside,
Starting point is 00:47:36 we were doing some stupid shit. Like, stupid, stupid fucking shit that I'm shocked. Like, no one got, like, killed. You know, just like, hey, let's see if we can jump off this thing. Why? Because we're stupid kids and we're bored because our parents all kicked us out of the house on Saturday because they don't want us playing video games or possibly other reasons. But like, hey, you know what my favorite one was?
Starting point is 00:48:05 Hey, let's get the big, let's get Daniel. He's big, right? Let's get Eric and tell him to hug the center of the fucking merry-go-round. Yeah. And let's see if we can all fucking spin it so hard that he flies out. Yeah. Guess what? You totally can.
Starting point is 00:48:23 Even children can spin that shit real hard. Death trap, death trap fucking playground also being a thing. The one in particular, and I never fucking got over it, but it's just like, yeah, you see those as monkey bars designed for kids to swing off of and occasionally fall and break their shoulder at worst. Yeah. What you don't see is that as the jump on top and run on the bars while we're playing tag. Ooh.
Starting point is 00:48:56 And that's what we- Nobody was doing that or- Oh, that's what we were doing. That's fool. We'll all see. It was fucking like, yeah, it got super fucking dicey. Running on the bars, like that level of bullshit. I'm like, you're gonna die if you fucking fall off of that high.
Starting point is 00:49:14 Like you hit your neck and you're done, you know? But no one fucking saw that in the design. They didn't think that would happen, but it totally did. We found ways to play super dangerous on the quote unquote safe shit. I'm sure I've told both of these versions at some point somewhere, but it's ages old and this is appropriate. There were two games in my local neighborhood. One was specific to my elementary school.
Starting point is 00:49:43 I later found out that I look back on and go, oh, these were fatality machines that somehow never caused fatalities. Must be some natural effect of kids being bouncy or some shit. One was this was not unique Sandman. Okay. Which was Marco Polo on the sand playground. Right? Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:06 So, you know, you have the playground thing that has like the corridors and the jungle gym and the slide. It's all connected in a shit. Yeah. So you're playing Marco Polo with three or four kids and with the Sandman. And it's under Marco Polo rules. He says, Sandman, when you're on the sand, you're out. Right?
Starting point is 00:50:23 But just like Marco Polo, that kid's got to close their fucking eyes. But you're running around this playground. Oh my God. Blinds. Oh my God. Okay. Okay. Okay.
Starting point is 00:50:37 You're climbing on top of shit to try and catch the kids. Yeah. Remember the domed plastic ones that were like pyramids? Yes. They were super hard to get on top of. Yes. People are standing straight up on top of that. Eyes closed.
Starting point is 00:50:50 Right? Okay. Well, no, they can, they can have their, but you're trying to climb on top of it with your eyes closed. It's like, Sandman, God fucking forbid you fall. But like just running around, just clip your own head or something. Right? That's bad.
Starting point is 00:51:06 But nothing. I've never even heard of this being played elsewhere. So it might have been my elementary school was fucked up. We called it King of the Hill or King of the Man. I forget what the fuck it was. But you ever see those monkey bars that are just big arches? It's like just a single parabolic arch. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Up and then down. Yeah. Right. It's like, and then, you know, there's tall ones and there's shorter ones. So this one was, I don't know, it was a taller one. And I was like, I don't know, like it seemed like a million feet tall when I was a kid. It's probably only like eight feet tall total, right? To the point where you could hang from the top.
Starting point is 00:51:38 A million feet tall. You could drop. It's like three or four feet, right? So the game that we would play is all the kids would line up on one side or the other. And it wasn't teams. It was just whoever could stay until the end of recess. And you would hang at the absolute top. Two kids would hang and face each other.
Starting point is 00:51:55 And the goal was to kick the other kid in the face. Oh yeah. Yeah. Until he fell off. Yeah. You remember that? Well, we did that, but it wasn't kicked the other kid in the face. Like American Gladiators style, wrap around and like use your weight to yank them off the
Starting point is 00:52:10 bars. So that's what it started as, right? When I first started to go to that school, but then God, who then the meta gets formed. And then you realize kicking for the, for the wrist is a better, a better. Yeah. So then I figured out a kid kicked another kid in the face and that kid dropped like a sack of potato. And everyone, oh, he won.
Starting point is 00:52:31 He won. That's the new meta. And then, and then it became like, are you kicking him in the face? Are you trying to smash their fingers? Play to win. I would usually go for the fingers. Since I was so short, I was really short. It was so much more easy for me to get my legs up high and just crush those kids' fingers.
Starting point is 00:52:50 Like, what are you, what are we doing here? We wasting time trying to do the wraps? Yeah. Yeah, for sure. I mean, if you felt like fucking going all in, you could just Donkey Kong it and like completely wrap and then put your whole body on it. And now you're both going to fall because he's not holding up both bodies. And then whoever touches the ground first loses.
Starting point is 00:53:08 And then I remember fucking, I always mentioned this one kid at my elementary school, Daniel, he was so much bigger than the other. He was, he was like a foot taller than everyone else. He created the ultimate meta because it was only for him. And him is, he's strong enough to hold himself by one arm. Oh, and then just take his hand and unclass your hands. Yeah, you can't. There's no coming back from that.
Starting point is 00:53:32 And what are you supposed to do? Yeah, there's no coming back from that. Fuck you. Oh, yeah. He's a really nice kid too. He's just so much bigger than everybody else. It was like, yeah, no, he wins. You win.
Starting point is 00:53:42 That's, that's, that's the grappler. 100%. Um, yeah, no QA, no QA on the playground. On playgrounds. On playgrounds. Nope. Nope, nope. That playground's where I lost a bunch of my teeth.
Starting point is 00:53:56 Oh God. How many times did I fucking twist my ankle jumping way too high off the swing? You know, you do, you stand up on the, you do the normal swing and then you stand up and then you stand up and you do the thing where you pull back the chain and your feet like bend so that you get that extra swing. And you're going, you hit and then the parabolic arc that you're swinging on is one where you're now hitting back at the, what is it? You're doing 180 degrees.
Starting point is 00:54:21 Yeah, you're at the nine o'clock. Yeah. You're at the nine o'clock. And you're going all the way to three o'clock. And your stomach is lurching because you're now completely at zero. There's a really horrible feeling when you hit like straight horizontal. Yes. Where the, the, it's right before the downswing.
Starting point is 00:54:37 Yeah. Where you're no longer being pushed back into the seat by the force and you're actually falling. Yeah. And if you don't hold on tight with your arms. You're straight down. You will just fall straight down. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:49 Yeah. Gravity like there's, there's, there's the fall and then there's the chain correcting that, but you have your feet are loose on the, on the actual swing itself. And like, unless you're fucking really, really tight in there, which people have absolutely fucked themselves up on. And then of course, once you get that high, you could, if you fucking, yeah, you can start like dusting your feet on the bottom, like a huge pussy. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:14 Or you fucking go to for that jump or you can do neither and instead you can screw up and wait too long to go for the jump in which case you kind of go straight up. But then you just immediately drop down and fall on your face like an ass. Very like a video game where you're swinging on a fucking Donkey Kong rope. You have to do it during the forward momentum, not the upwards momentum. You know, and, and if you get the forward one going, then you can land in the bushes. So, you know what? It's pretty fucking safe.
Starting point is 00:55:49 I remember like, I love the swing. The swing is one of my favorite pieces of playground equipment. But hey, Pat, let, let other people have the swing. But once you hit a certain speed, they can't make you get off the swing. Oh yeah. Because you're just a fucking projectile. And your feet are decapitation machines at that point. Like what are you going to do?
Starting point is 00:56:11 Are you going to walk near me to try and stop me? Yeah. Yeah. You're just like, no, you're not, no one's going home until somebody does the fucking twister on it where you got to sit and spin and spin and spin and spin and spin and see how high you can get that chain to go. And the answer is pretty high. Pretty fucking high.
Starting point is 00:56:32 And then based on it being that high, how fast are they going to spin on the way down? Pretty fast. But can you hold on as you spin? As you spin death, death spins. Can you hold on? And if you decide to lean back, are you leaning back so hard that your head's going to hit the metal bar that is actually holding the swing up to begin with? I think the worst part about it is that if they tightened it, if you got really high,
Starting point is 00:57:01 the spin wasn't the problem. The problem is that thick chain does not wind equally. Even so you would drop. So you would be spinning as fast as possible. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then you would bounce because the chain would be snapping. Yes, yes. And it's like, fuck, this is the...
Starting point is 00:57:18 Bad idea. Let's do it again. Absolutely. What else are you going to do with it? The swing has two functions. I felt... I feel that as I got older, my body became dramatically more fragile. Well, yeah.
Starting point is 00:57:33 And that sucks. That's... I don't appreciate that. Durability go down. I remember being a child and falling all the way down the stairs. Like a full flight of stairs. Yeah, whatever. I'm terrified of falling down the stairs now.
Starting point is 00:57:49 I'd probably die. I mean, I used to slide down the stairs like face and back. Yeah, whatever. But it doesn't even hurt. But at the same time, those were cushioned. Those were not curtained. A fucking... What's it called?
Starting point is 00:58:11 The carpet. Carpeted. Those were carpeted stairs. It was never a big deal to begin with. But no, if you fell downstairs now, that is the end of you. Something that used to be a bouncy platform is now spikes. Well, it's because I think back to... Hey, uh-oh.
Starting point is 00:58:28 You mentioned twisting your ankle, right? I landed wrong off some ridiculous jump, right? Twisted my ankle. Ah, whatever. I'll walk it off. It'll be fixed by an X period. Right? Right, right, right, right.
Starting point is 00:58:41 I fucking walk and put my foot on the sidewalk, a little goofy, and my ankle goes... And I'm like, oh! Oh no! Oh, did I just fucking break my ankle? Oh, shit! I can't afford that! I need my ankle! Ah, ah, ah.
Starting point is 00:59:04 And of course, it's fine. I have not broken my ankle ever. But still, it's like, no! I'm terrified! That doesn't work anymore. That's what that's supposed to do. Yup, that happens. You're at that time.
Starting point is 00:59:20 Durability does not re-fucking... You don't re-up that shit. That number stays low now. I drank so much milk as a child. I drank milk as my primary liquid intake because someone told me that it builds strong bones and that'll help me grow. Do you remember when... I had like...
Starting point is 00:59:49 I'm pretty fucking short as an adult male, but I was even shorter by comparison when I was younger to other kids. Do you remember when it came out that milk was bad for you? That too much milk was actually awful? And everyone just fucking lost their minds? Because it's like, what the fuck have I been doing? So that came after I had to stop drinking milk for almost a year because I went on the Accutane.
Starting point is 01:00:20 And if you drink milk while you're on the Accutane, you can just spontaneously die. Oh wow, okay. Wow. So you have to cut it back down to 1%. And if you're drinking 1%, then why even bother? Shoutouts to Lewis Black and his milk good for you, Bitt. Nobody fucking knows. Are eggs good for you?
Starting point is 01:00:45 I saw an article five, six years ago that was like, oranges may cause cancer and I almost threw myself out a window because we're oranges? Oranges! The most inoffensive fruit ever made! Turns out everything causes cancer to some degree in the sense that it can kickstart cancer cells. You know what's really funny to me?
Starting point is 01:01:12 When you get some keyboard or mouse or fucking whatever that is being explicitly sold in California or whatever and on the label it says this item contains carcinogenic materials because California has some advertising law that if there's any chemical at all You have to look at it. And it's like, yeah, I'm not going to eat this mouse. Yeah, right, right, right.
Starting point is 01:01:37 State of California. I don't know what you guys are doing down there on the west coast. Don't know how to do shit. Oh, why don't you tell us what you were doing? Boy, that was a long fucking nonsensical rambling interlude. This week? That's good podcasted right there. You know what? That's good podcasted.
Starting point is 01:01:55 That's what you call it fucking. That's doing it. All of this reminiscing about my youth has me thinking. Reminiscing about my youth. Reminiscing about like tricking parents into buying you video games. I remember being 11 years old and holy shit that brand new game, brand new. Holy crap.
Starting point is 01:02:26 It's like 50 bucks. Crazy is sitting right here in this micro play used for $30. Now, mom, I know it's really violent, like outrageously outright, but I'm mature. I'm a good kid. I don't get into fights like my brother, right? So can I play, you know, I'll buy it. It's cool, right?
Starting point is 01:02:50 And that's how I got Resident Evil 2. You talked her into it. Yes. You didn't, you didn't play one. I played one later on Christ. I want to say I actually played one later on the Saturn first. That's why you never talk about it because you literally started with two. Well, that and Resident Evil 1 on the PlayStation 1 is a significantly worse game.
Starting point is 01:03:16 Of course it is, but it's still the beginning of the franchise. So I always would assume that, okay, I always just assumed it was like this is a Sonic 2, Mega Man 2 situation. It is. It is. As well. Okay. But, but like you still started it. It is.
Starting point is 01:03:31 It is very much a Mega Man situation. Okay. Where Mega Man is the shit, but it's like, oh, it's kind of bad, but it's the shit. And then Mega Man 2 comes out and it's like everybody shut up, get on this. Okay. Give me a number this week. This week? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:49 And I'm going to go get my, my next drink. 17, 18 hours. Wow. All right. Um, I've beaten it four times since Thursday night. Each configuration? No. So, and here's the fun part.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Capcom was kind enough. Thank you, Capcom. Everybody at Capcom. You guys are great. Thanks, Yuri from Monster Hunter. Thanks, Kellen from Resident Evil. And thanks, uh, the, what's it, 47 productions or whatever the PR company they use. You guys are very nice.
Starting point is 01:04:21 Got back to me on time pretty much every time. Very kind. So they gave me a code so I could play it Thursday night, like eight o'clock prior to release, which was great. Right. However, Capcom, when they send you a preview code, they send you just a fucking retail beta testing code. Okay.
Starting point is 01:04:40 Right. So if you already own the game on Steam, it won't go through. So you have your set, you have your second account. Okay. So in order to play through it on that. Okay. So in order to play it early, I had to play it on my second account. And because Resident Evil has cloud saves, you can't transfer the saves from one account
Starting point is 01:05:00 to the other. So I streamed myself doing, uh, Claire and then Leon. And then I was like, I'm very tired. I've streamed like 17 hours. Oh wait, no. 17 hours is just what it is. Just what I streamed. I then beat the game twice more to catch up my main account to the account I had streamed
Starting point is 01:05:26 on. So it's probably closer to like 25 or 30. So you had to replay on your main. Yeah. To have it on your main. Claire and then Leon, which I got an S rank on one of them. No, I got an A rank on one of them, which made me very happy. And, uh, are, and then did you do like the honking tofu stuff?
Starting point is 01:05:44 So, uh, I, I have not streamed it since Friday night. So I'm going to do honk on stream and tofu on stream, if I can beat honk, because you have to beat honk to get tofu. And I'm also going to do the other two variations as well over the coming week. Um, there's a lot to talk about that game. So I'm going to try and keep it concise. I like the part where the old line where it's like, Oh, there's, this must be her boyfriend. And then you look at the update and it's just a fucking doggie.
Starting point is 01:06:14 They changed it to a dog. That's super great. Because they don't want reasonable characters to ever, ever, ever be romantically involved with anyone. Anyone, including each other. Resident Evil is one of the most bizarre sexless universes ever. There is zero sex, right? There is zero sex.
Starting point is 01:06:28 There's zero romance. It is baffling. Even though it is very clear that Ada Wong is extremely not a virgin. Yeah. And into Leon and he's into her, but the best you get is watching that awful, awful, awful piece of shit, uh, CG movie damnation in which she offhandedly references a night they spent in some country when they weren't trying to kill each other. Okay.
Starting point is 01:06:56 Right. As a evil spy and government agent. So there was a reference to. There was a reference to. A-sexing. But like Claire, Chris, Jill, these people, they are married to taking down umbrella and or bio weapons. I'm ovulating right now.
Starting point is 01:07:14 No way, dude. Um, that is. Oh God, Leon. Just like fucking slam me, Leon. No way. I only want to go after women that don't want me. All right. It's your thing.
Starting point is 01:07:34 So. Resident Evil 2, if anybody is aware of me at all in any context, I have a strong affinity to that game. It is a one of them formative video games that I played in my youth, but also that original game is fantastic and it's fantastic now. And I've been excited for this remake for a long time, but also a little nervous because you're whenever you retouch something like this, you're kind of playing with fire, right? It could be the best thing ever or it could be disastrous or they could make changes that
Starting point is 01:08:08 you get, but you're like, I'm not happy with that. Right? It's been a long time. Like, oh, what if they kind of has to be what if they make it too modern or they change that part because that part's weird, but I like that. But you know that kind of stuff. So the greatest praise that I can possibly offer this game and it is high praise. Indeed.
Starting point is 01:08:29 There's a clip of me out there saying it is that when I was playing through it, it felt it gave me the same feeling that the original gave me back when I played it in 98. The same type of tension, the same type of anxiety, the same type of fun, the same type of excitement, like because it took away what you memorized it. No, not because of that. Like that is a factor, of course, but that factor immediately passed as I beat in the game. Now it that the feeling remained even on the replay.
Starting point is 01:09:08 And that is they were how to put this, you can you can remake something in which you are slavish in your devotion to its original design, or you can remake something in which you are slavish in devotion to its original intent, right? That second one ends up being the case here. And I think it was the right decision. They do things like how about this, the very first liquor that you meet in the game, right? You've talked about this a couple of times, right? And it's repositioning.
Starting point is 01:09:43 They've repositioned it later. And how they make the moment work despite the camera not doing the thing. They reposition it back to where it used to be later in the game to fuck with you, things like that. But so for example, let's take Mr. X because I'm sure everyone's Twitter has been blowing up with Mr. X meme. Yes. Because he is, he, I assume there's great moments with him now.
Starting point is 01:10:09 Scrub quotes. There's now Mr. Scrub quotes X, which is my favorite rebranding ever. I mean, he's what he was before, right? He's the guy that comes in fucking, chases you down and fucks you up, right? He is the best example I could possibly give to what this remake is about and why it works. In the original, Mr. X, which is not actually his name, that is a fan name. Really? That was never canon?
Starting point is 01:10:39 That showed up first on the toy. It was never in the games ever. It was only on the toy. Even the Resident Evil Archive books don't mention Mr. X. It was then taken from the toy into the novelization by S.D. Perry. But then people started to call him that just like people, just like how every, okay, think about it this way. What's the emperor's name in Star Wars?
Starting point is 01:11:09 Palpatine. How do you know that? Because episode one. No, because it was on the toy back in the 70s as Emperor Palpatine. Okay. It's not in Star Wars. The word Palpatine is on it. But everybody knows that and then they later canonized it, right?
Starting point is 01:11:26 In this, he's just tyrant. That's just his name is tyrant. It was always tyrant. But fuck it. What he calls a Mr. X is Mr. X. So Mr. X in the original, he only showed up on the second playthrough. And he showed up seven or eight times depending on the character that you play. He would just appear in a room.
Starting point is 01:11:48 The room was always the same. But because it was, it was changed from the first playthrough, you could never be certain when he'd be around and we'd scare the shit out of you, right? You'd walk out of the press room and bam, he comes through the wall. Holy fucking shit. What are the characters in the game referred to him as? Ah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:12:07 Yeah. Yeah. All right. Yeah. That fucking thing. Yeah. Okay. Usually they refer to him as not you again.
Starting point is 01:12:16 In game, in RE2, he has a model designation, which is the T103 or OO, depending. One's that one's his type and one's his model. So in the original game, there were seven or eight rooms that he would appear in and they were scripted cool events. There's one in particular where you're like kind of a factory area and you look on a, you look on a video screen and you see him walking up to security camera and then he punches it. But that is the security camera that is like 10 feet away from you.
Starting point is 01:12:45 Okay. So you turn around and bam, he's there, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now the problem with Mr. X in the original was that he showed up in seven or eight rooms as scripted events every single time and he couldn't leave those rooms. So you very quickly realized, oh, just run by him. He'll give you a little tap and then hit the door and he has disappeared, right? But to the player playing in 1998 without use of a guide or the internet, it felt like
Starting point is 01:13:18 he was following you around because he would appear randomly and he'd fuck you up and screw up your plans, right? So they take that feeling, not the design of just putting him in scripted locations and then they transferred over to this one where that he shows up in the exact same spot, the same hallway. You see him, you turn that hallway and there he is. But now he is actually following you around. Oh.
Starting point is 01:13:47 And he is coming through doors and you can get really far away from him, but he's always in the RPD. And you can run back. And you can turn a corner and oh shit, there he is. Oh, okay, okay, okay. And it's about chasing the feeling, not about chasing any specific mechanic or layout. Teleport to the other scripted locations? There is three or four scripted locations, but those scripted locations are where he
Starting point is 01:14:19 shows up. Like basically when Mr. X appears, he shows up and he is your problem until you advance far enough into the game in which he is no longer your problem until he shows up later, right? In the sequences, after he's shown up, he is a roaming entity until you figure out what the fuck you have to do. You get to another section. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:14:44 Yeah, okay. Or you finally solve a puzzle and that was the sequence that he was done in, right? He also, and I can't confirm this because I don't have the debt, but it appears that if you get so far away from him that it will take him minutes to find you, they will teleport him closer to you because like the police station is relatively large. So I would lose him in like the first floor on the east end of the police station and they get all the way across to the second or third floor on the west end. And it's like, okay, it will take him minutes.
Starting point is 01:15:18 Just to walk over here, okay, he's right there, shit. And it's fascinating because it takes a game in which like survival horror is all math. It's all like I have this, this many resources and there are this many enemies and I can avoid them or I can use those resources, whatever. And enemies can be dealt with eventually with total mastery. Walk by liquors, they won't attack you because they're blind. Zombies can be juked, right? Or even snuck past.
Starting point is 01:15:49 But not when you hear, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, right? The best part about him is that he shoves enemies out of his way to get at you. He will like, he'll walk by and like backhand a zombie just to move them out of his path. Is there an actual, like, can you, I don't know, like use a weapon to slow him down? So the game does, so in the original you could down him. You could down him. He doesn't like grab a zombie and chuck it at you or anything. No, okay, okay.
Starting point is 01:16:24 But in the original you could down him and he would drop ammo. And the idea would be that he would give you back the ammo that you probably spent on him. In this you can still technically down him for 30 seconds. And then he will, he, you down him and he takes a knee and he'll have his, a breather and then he will get the fuck back up. And that's it. That's all you get. They, they do a lot to show off how invincible he is in like with visual touches.
Starting point is 01:17:00 If you hit him with a handgun bullet, it visibly ricochets off his coat. Okay. So it's like, oh, okay, that, that, it, it does technically damage him. It very little, but it does, but it becomes very clear in any kind of like attempt to get him. You are wasting ammo. This is a complete waste of ammo. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:23 Just run. Yeah. Yeah. And it's awesome. Just all these little, like he only shows up, you know, three or four sections and the section depends on what, if, like, if you're, you know where you want to do, what you want to do, there may be 20 to 40 minutes, right? But they vary up those sequences because in the original you went through the RPD, you
Starting point is 01:17:48 killed everything. You went to the basement and you came back to the RPD and now the RPD is now filled with liquors instead of zombies mostly, but you didn't spend much time here. It's a similar progression, but with Mr. X chasing you around, it complicates things. Okay. I have the route planned. I have this room, this room, this room, and they are clear. Everything is dead.
Starting point is 01:18:10 This is my safe path to these five rooms, except there are narrow hallways and Mr. X is right there. Shit. Plan fucked. Your plan is now fucked. So now you have to either think, do I want to try and get past him or do I want to brave the more dangerous areas that I left to fate earlier? Now you said in previous games he would knock you down and then you could just run past him.
Starting point is 01:18:32 Yeah, he'd give you a little pop with his left and you'd run past him. This time around? He gives you a significantly stronger hit than a little pop. Okay. He winds back and floors you, which the damage isn't the problem. The problem is that you go into a falling state and it knocks you back like four or five feet as you fall to the ground and then get up and then by the time you get up, he's walking back towards you again.
Starting point is 01:19:00 So just running past him for the little tag is not worth it. The game feels unbelievable. It plays extraordinarily well. Aiming and shooting is genius, in particular having to hold your reticle for long periods to simulate stopping and shooting like the old games. Please take a shit ton of damage, just tons and tons of damage, which makes you think about leaving them alone in general visually. I'm sure you've seen this, Wolves.
Starting point is 01:19:32 The game is immaculate. It's so gorgeous. It looks so good. And a detail that I only figured out, well I didn't figure it out. I just noticed it, is that Resident Evil games don't have huds like the good ones, they have pause screens. They have a menu screen and they have a pause screen. That has all your HUD.
Starting point is 01:19:54 But when you're playing them, they don't actually have huds. Yeah, wasn't that part of the whole making a movie feel? I don't know. I thought it was. I really don't, but that was an element that I didn't fully appreciate back in the old days and I sure as fuck appreciate it now because you have this amazing super high def thing and the only time a HUD shows up is when you point your gun at something or go in your menu and when you take damage, if you didn't actually decrease your health, you'll
Starting point is 01:20:24 just see damage on your character. If you did decrease your health, you'll see the little fine or caution or whatever show up at the bottom of the screen and it'll just show up for a second, just to show, hey man, you took some damage, you're careful. And in addition, you will clearly be like limping afterwards so, but yeah. Yeah, well when they redesigned the series with 4 and up, that's when like you got your HUD showed up because it's more action game HUD. You need more.
Starting point is 01:20:51 The game's pacing is fantastic. Probably the weirdest thing that I didn't expect is they took the sewers, which were like three rooms in the original game. It's like a third of the game now. It's enormous. It's a whole section of the game and the game is much better for it and this is really weird. They took a boss out of the game to make it a regular enemy and it's way, way better as a regular enemy than as a boss.
Starting point is 01:21:20 Is it Yon? No. Yon's the first one. Is it the spider? No, the spiders aren't in. Spiders got taken out. Spiders and the crows got. Completely gone.
Starting point is 01:21:31 Got taken out. Yeah. Replaced? Nope, they're gone. Just less enemies. Yeah, so here's the thing. Some people were, there was some wailing and gnashing of teeth over the removal of the spiders, over the removal of the crows, and over the wholesale complete rework of the
Starting point is 01:21:48 plant enemies. The spiders are in two rooms in Resident Evil 2 and one of those rooms is exclusive to Leon. They have never successfully attacked anyone and you never, ever, ever got poisoned by them. They were literally just there to be there because they were an RE1. I'm like DMC1 spiders, actually, if you think about it. The spiders, sorry, the crows are in one room in Resident Evil 2 and they're not even there in that room on the B scenario.
Starting point is 01:22:20 Losing those enemies means nothing. Like it is, it is a, like I was actually way more worried about the rework of the plant enemies because the plant enemies, their big plant monster, IVs that shoot poison, they've been completely changed into a new enemy that is way, way better because they're regenerators now. Okay. Like they are, be pinpoint accurate, you have to burn them, like they're fucking great. Uh, doggos?
Starting point is 01:22:50 They're absolutely there. And due to the new way the game works, they are way more dangerous than they used to be because hitting them is tough. Yeah. So we talked last time about like the theory of what they might be like considering how all the work that went into the regular zombie. Yeah. They're not durable, but it is very difficult to hit them with like handgun bullets and they're
Starting point is 01:23:12 fast. Wait for midair dive? No, they're diving is way too fast now. Just try and just shoot them. Okay. Just shoot all of them. Okay. Probably the only thing I dislike about the entire game is they, so ha ha, zapping system
Starting point is 01:23:32 and scenario system, right? So you had Leon a, Claire B, and vice versa. That is still miraculously in the game. It's, it's, um, shout outs to incomplete reviews. Yeah. It's, oh my God, dude, that IGN though, why I'm fucking like, you, it's like, you could have telegraphed it coming because you're like, this is a game where is this game going to blow your ass out if you didn't do it properly?
Starting point is 01:23:56 Then you're going to have this problem. So I want to point out when you beat the game, the game gives you a big splash screen that says, Hey, try second of run to see the ending near, near everything. Yeah. So we, like when now we can firmly say now that it's, that this is still happening that it's like, look, safe to say that until the game blows your ass out for not doing this properly, expect that every game is being played this way and everything's being reviewed this way because you would never know in the meantime, you know, and then, and then occasionally
Starting point is 01:24:22 once every four, three, two, once a year, a game will come out where like, if you didn't actually do the thing, then you get your ass blown out and everyone makes fun of it. And then you go, oh shit, and you got to revisit it, but assume that the next game being reviewed is going right back to the same old. Oh, absolutely. Well, you know, the, the, the IGN reviewer that did this is the guy who reviewed that shooter last year, the, the shmup and was complained that there was no real final boss and no ending.
Starting point is 01:24:48 And the developer was like, that only happens if you play it on the easiest difficult. Same person. Yep. Fantastic. So yeah, just right back to it. We're not, we're not. Don't miss a beat. Great.
Starting point is 01:24:58 So that, that thing is still here. There's still like a scenario where you start as one plays the other and the second one gets the true final boss kind of thing. It's weird cause events. So they talked about how they wanted to like simplify the scenario so that you'd have a canon, like a clear view of what happened, right? Cause in the original game, there's a, there's a storyline where Sherry doesn't get infected. There is a Sherry.
Starting point is 01:25:26 There's a storyline where she does arcade bullshit, right? Yeah. And here you have the weird problem where it's like Claire fought that boss and knocked it off the thing with the crane. Then Leon came by 10 minutes later and the area was magically undistroyed and fought the same boss and knocked it off of the crane. What does this mean? The other character got horribly injured and then died, but then got back up to run over
Starting point is 01:25:50 to help this character. Like events are very logically inconsistent and it's even weirder because in the second playthrough, the other character leaves you notes to say, Hey, I went on ahead, come follow me. But how am I following you in the train that you took to get there that stayed here? What the fuck? Like it's actually really confusing. In Mbison story mode, getting his ass beat by every single street fighter.
Starting point is 01:26:18 Yeah. Except, except there's, there's one part that's really, really weird. And it is a character dies halfway through the game. And that character's never seen again for that character's playthrough, but they continue to show up in the other character's story. Right. Even though it's moving forward and they die, they get fucking killed. And it's like, wait, what?
Starting point is 01:26:50 Did they die here and then magically survive and then run after Leon in the light? What the time has convoluted? So that's the weirdest part for all the painstaking effort and recreation of all these great things. And they, they cherry picked all the, all like, there's clearly the people on the team went, we like this event from this part and this event from, so it's this amalgamation of all the best like moments in RA2. And then they decided to do the second scenario, but it's like, I get it. Bosses are harder to design now and they're more expensive design now than before.
Starting point is 01:27:29 So you don't want to just give each character half the boss fights that would be lame. You want each character to fight both, all the bosses, right? But like some of the, it's so fucking weird. It's so weird. I mean, look, Nero spanks them and embarrasses them and they run away and then Dante comes back and cleans them up and kills them. There is a, there is a understandable like version one and two of each fight. Did they, they did not, I thought you were going to build up to this time around.
Starting point is 01:27:57 They fixed it and made a canon series of events that you can follow. They just don't care. So there are some events that are obviously that's the canon version, like in, you know, this character falls off a cliff instead of like getting punched to death, right? But on the other hand, it's like, wait, which character fought the boss? Like which one of these characters is the person who killed the boss? Right, right. No, really.
Starting point is 01:28:27 It's kind of important because what they actually went through is a thing later. Okay. Right. It's like Sherry gets infected by the G virus. That's confirmed. That always happened. And we knew that because in six, she has all that weird healing shit as a result of it. Right.
Starting point is 01:28:46 But like it's, it's weird. Like the way that those stories interact are genuinely bizarre. Does it hurt the game? No. It's, it's a, it's a, it's something to bother people like me who care about this. Which that's your fault for doing. But when the sequels come around, do they act as if they all occurred and the characters have been through all of it?
Starting point is 01:29:10 So yes. So Otacon and Merrill are around and I've got this bandana on. Yes. It's, oh yeah. Okay. Now that will actually be relatively easy because there's no big events that are actually in conflict. It's mainly around the bosses.
Starting point is 01:29:25 It's mainly like, no, wait, which of you fought that thing with the crane? And the other weird thing is that Sherry and Ada both get trapped in the same room at the same time, but don't see each other. Okay. That one's really, really weird. Okay. They both get trapped in the exact same room for the exact same period of time and are both rescued at the same time.
Starting point is 01:29:54 Like, I don't know. Yeah. It's, I mean, again, for, in every game purposes, it's like, it's the easiest thing to do is it's not a problem until you make a sequel. And then in the sequel, just say it all happened and somehow simultaneously the characters have memories of all versions. It's really baffling though. The thing that's crazy is like it is now less clear than it used to be.
Starting point is 01:30:19 And it used to be unclear, right, like, and they talked about how they wanted to clarify it. But yeah, I cannot praise the game enough. It's exactly what I wanted. It's exactly what I thought it was going to be. And it was worth all the whining to get it. I would recommend it to everyone. In particular, I want to give a shout out to Max because that game has a hardcore difficulty
Starting point is 01:30:53 mode. It is outrageously difficult. And he played through it first on those modes, much to his own like, like suffering. It is crazy how tough that hard that hard mode is. Like enemies take twice as much damage and there's half as much ammo. I heard that Mr. X fucking comes and visits you in the save rooms on hard. He visits you in the save rooms because hello, what's going on here in this thread? What's you doing?
Starting point is 01:31:24 You saving? So in knock, knock, no, no, he won't visit designated safe rooms and he won't walk into any. He won't walk into any room that it is. It would be impossible for you to run past him. Okay. Like any room that has like a hallway that is actually too small for you to get past him, he won't walk into.
Starting point is 01:31:45 Okay. But the main reason that is because at one point, an area that used to be a safe room becomes unsafe and zombies can come in and so can X and that's like, that breaks the rules. They're not allowed to do that. Then I heard lies. Yeah. All right.
Starting point is 01:32:03 Oh, game's fucking great. Honk is just as difficult as it used to be, but it's a lot fairer now that you have a, because the honk scenario was like this big action set piece in the original, but like that game's controls could barely deal with its own regular game, let alone an action set piece. It's much, much fairer this time around. And one of the more interesting things is that the main game does not have auto aim unless you play on easy fourth survivor does have auto aim and you can't turn it off because
Starting point is 01:32:38 you're playing as honk and honk has that because honk is the shit. Yeah. Okay. Because honk doesn't miss. Yeah. Okay. And he's got better times. That's awesome.
Starting point is 01:32:49 Or he's got more ammo and he's got. Yeah. I think the main thing is because like you don't have time to aim the same way that you would in the base game, but it's still like a radical little thing of like, no, honk comes with auto aim. Right. And then tofu, I haven't unlocked because I haven't beat honk, but tofu is run honk scenario, but you're carrying 30 knives instead.
Starting point is 01:33:11 I saw some art. And it's like, I saw some art with like the knives all like, like on him, kind of like fucking and tofu has a bunch of dialogue now. What? Yeah. Okay. So it's the same dialogue that honk gets like the hunks, the helicopter pilot is calling in and tofu is responding in a shrill voice modulated Japanese because it's, it's, it's
Starting point is 01:33:40 I heard a high pitched little thing because it's fucking stupid. Yeah. And it's a tofu. Okay. And he animates like his, he has jiggle on him now. That's tofu texture. And when he takes damage, he flakes apart because it's tofu tofu. I should mention to anybody who is, there's going to be a lot of people that play this
Starting point is 01:34:01 that are like, why a fucking block like what the actual fuck, right? And it's because in the original, it was the hit box model. Yeah. For the game that they tested. And then they were like, now fuck it. Now I think when you're playing a remake of something, you, you, you just kind of a see something you don't get and go, yeah, probably, it must have been there for some reason. Probably a reference.
Starting point is 01:34:23 So that, that's all fantastic. The last thing I want to talk about, I only touched a little bit was the music. The music in the base game is fine. There's not a whole lot of music. It's very tense, very quiet. If you bought the deluxe edition or pre-order it or whatever the fuck it is, you can have a classic music option, which plays the old tracks as you navigate the game and changes all the sound effects.
Starting point is 01:34:48 It's surprising how much it changes the tone of the game. It's genuinely well implemented and feels great. Doesn't it feel, it doesn't feel goofy. No, it feels totally at home. That soundtrack is amazing. The RE2 soundtrack is phenomenal. Not dated? No.
Starting point is 01:35:06 Okay. It's really shocking how good it sounds and how well it fits even the new visuals to the point where I'm like, I'm torn over the audio decisions they made in this game. Most of the game is very quiet. Mr. X has a theme and some areas will save rooms have a very muted theme and some areas will have music when you first go into them, but most of the game is quiet, right? It's very realistic, very tense. The original game had a track playing in every single fucking room and a lot of them were
Starting point is 01:35:38 really unique and memorable and it makes me think like, I'm torn as to whether or not they should have just made really high end remixed instrumentations for the new stuff. I guess just when usually a game is that old, I would expect that playing a new version of the game with the old OST turns it into like more of a retro feel than it does like actually hold up. I mean, it obviously does do that because like, you know, all the nostalgia for like the main hall theme and stuff like that, but like, no, it sounds really good. It sounds great.
Starting point is 01:36:13 And on top of that, no clowns farting in this one, right? So, oh man, somebody sent me a fucking link to this wild discovery about the clowns farting. Clown farts. So anybody knows about clown farts? There's a track in the Resident Evil 1 director's cut that is like the worst track ever made by humans called Mansion Basement. Go look it up. It's mythical in how awful it is.
Starting point is 01:36:37 They suspect that it was recorded with the wrong instruments and they made a version using all the same notes. Well, it's MIDI, right? No. Isn't it just MIDI and then they put the wrong fucking note chart over it? No, it's horns. Okay. But no, but I mean, like when something is programmed in MIDI, you can change the
Starting point is 01:37:00 instruments. The notes are just there and you can change like your sound back. You can basically change it to horns or vocals or whatever you want it to be. And if you put the wrong ones, then you get something that sounds terrible. Like clown farts. But you can change it. It's like fucking like Mario. Anyway, yes, you can dress it up to be whatever you want.
Starting point is 01:37:20 Send me a YouTube video of them redoing the composition with different instruments and it sounds fairly creepy and fine. It's like, oh, of course the guy couldn't know that they had fucked it up. One, he was a hack in the thief, but he was deaf. So he must have just assumed that they did it right. Oops. It's a kazoo. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:37:44 Oops. I'm very excited to keep playing that game and hopefully fucking continue to actually beat the difficulties. And they're coming out with a bunch of free DLC for it on the on the 15th. We're going to get fucking. Yeah. Do you see those costumes? No.
Starting point is 01:38:01 But yeah. Like I was looking at these. I was like, yeah. These are anyway. Yeah. They're putting out retro costumes that are the PlayStation one models of Leon and Claire to play in the game. I love that shit.
Starting point is 01:38:13 Yeah. MGS4 did it. And it was like, it's super cool. I love that. It looks so fucking out of place. It's amazing. I love it. That's on the 15th.
Starting point is 01:38:21 And also on the 15th of February is their ghost survivors mode, which is three little side stories that apparently have randomized like rogue like elements in it, which man, they said it was volume one, which feels crazy to me. Well, I mean, safe to assume this is going to get a DLC tale kind of like seven did. Yeah. But seven was all overpriced. This is all free. Sure.
Starting point is 01:38:49 But I just mean there's going to be things coming out for a minute. Well, good. Yeah. Yeah. Cool. And then they had a random itemization mode to the main game. That would be the biggest deal, man. That would be the best.
Starting point is 01:39:04 Oh, man. I'm wondering like, anyway, we talked about it a bit last time too, but it's like, how much can you randomize without breaking it completely? Well, you put rules in place. Zombie placement is another. Well, honestly, all you really need to do is randomize the items because enemies that are non threats become threats when you don't have the items to deal with them. Right.
Starting point is 01:39:27 But there is a randomizer mod for reasonable remake on the PC that like, all you got to do is put rules in place that say, don't make the game logically impossible to complete. Yeah. Right. And I know that the dev team did play that and think was cool. So hopefully that's coming. I also played something else and I'll talk about it a little more shortly, which is appropriate.
Starting point is 01:39:49 Played Donut County. Yeah. I sure have. Do you beat it? No, I didn't beat it. But how? I played a bunch of it, but I just didn't. How far did you get?
Starting point is 01:40:06 I don't know. A number of levels in, I suppose. Well, like five, six levels. Yeah. Maybe five, six levels. Right. So you're about 70% through the game. Okay.
Starting point is 01:40:16 It's that short, huh? I beat it in 88 minutes. Wow. I stopped right before. Like the, the fucking, when you go to the Trash King's Raccoon Palace, that's like the last level. Okay. And I was having fun with it.
Starting point is 01:40:29 Yeah. I was like, this honestly feels like an inverse Katamari. Yeah. And I thought it was really cool and very charming. Yeah. And I don't want to call it, I want to call it furry hipster as the new like night in the woods style. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:40:44 The world was fun. Text messages. Yeah. You know, that kind of thing. I have, well, besides the length, I didn't know about that. I have one like issue so far. I wanted to, I was going to bring it up once I, once I went back to it and beat it, but you have, so I guess you, let me know.
Starting point is 01:41:00 What I wanted was not these, I mean, levels in the way that we play through them is fine, I guess. But what I actually wanted in, when you say like Katamari is I wanted to like go through that map. I wanted a big map that I could donut things into. Yeah. I thought that was going to continue and continue and continue so that at the very least after a couple of tutorial levels, you'd get the ability to like really go through town and
Starting point is 01:41:25 like start fucking donating shit. So that's the most depressing thing about the game is not that it's really short, but that I felt like when it ended, it had just gotten started. Yeah. If that may, if that distinction makes any difference. Yeah. So you do a couple of missions and you're like, Oh, you learn how to shoot things out of the hole and you learn how to use fire to create a water.
Starting point is 01:41:47 Yes. You know, you learn a mechanic here, mechanic there, filling the hole and then using that they start to get more complex. Not just swallowing. Not, not really complex, but slightly more. And then you do you, oh, we're going to do a boss fight and they said, and there's a couple of levels before that and you're starting to use mechanics and tandem and I'm like, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:42:06 The game's hitting us. It's stride. And then it ended. Yeah. It never expanded in any way or got anything more than, like it didn't take me more than five seconds to think of the solution to any particular thing. It was just this really pleasant, happy, like, Oh, cool. I made the thing fall in the hole.
Starting point is 01:42:29 Yeah. And that's the weird animals are blaming this raccoon because he's a dickhead. Yeah. And then it was over. And I was like, Oh, I thought that was the tutorial. I thought I had beaten the tutorial and was like getting ready to go out and choose my levels or like the hole would get really big or, you know, what have you. So it was just over.
Starting point is 01:42:50 So that's the thing is catamari has a great way of taking a simple mechanic and putting it into these different areas and then feeding that back to you where you get a time limit, you know, to like do your best and you can never get it all, right? So you never end up feeling like, Oh, I've just completely done, done it like to the maximum and you kind of want to go back in and try, right? There's a feeling in those individual tutorial levels of I want to go back and play those tutorials again, right? Even to do better.
Starting point is 01:43:23 And then, but it still takes you through this mini, mini world progression, mini map progression. And then it finally frees you at the last couple where you get a nice 16 minute roll and then a full on half an hour roll. And that's like, all right, rolling in the world, you know, and, and, um, I was hoping to hear up the fucking planet here. Yeah. And I was, I was hoping to hear that donut was going to build towards that. I mean, yes, it's been done in the catamari way, but that's the funnest use of this mechanic
Starting point is 01:43:53 is seeing it in full glory on a large scale. And I guess what you're saying is it never gets there. Yeah, like, damn, I can think of very, very fun though. It's really enjoyable. Very, very few games that have given me this feeling, but like, I think it's the first one to actually make me go like, wait, what? Hmm. Like I, I thought the game was going to go 10 levels in a boss fight, 10 levels in a
Starting point is 01:44:18 boss fight, 10 levels in a boss fight, and each one would ramp up in complexity. And I beat the boss like, yeah, cool, I can't wait to play the next level credits. Hmm. Like it left, it left us a sour feeling. It left such a bitter taste in my mouth that I went to the store page to find out how much I had paid for it. Wow. And it is $15, which for the feeling of I can't believe the game's already over feels
Starting point is 01:44:46 like way too much. Okay. Like way too much. And we can argue about the length of a game versus its value and all that stuff. But the game left, even if the game was two bucks, I would have still felt that it ended too soon. Well, what I love, I like, I like games that have something where mechanically it seems really, really basic because it's like, it's a time waster.
Starting point is 01:45:11 Right. Like slide the whole around things, ooh, you know, like not that much of a challenge or whatever. But then you build off of that to create stuff. And yeah, yeah, if what you're saying is the case, then I guess it never. You know what's funny? What? Like, oh, it looks simple, but then it becomes more complex.
Starting point is 01:45:29 Like, I absolutely love that. And that's the reason why I hate Fez so much. Like Fez is one of my most hated games in the past like decade. Right. And it's because the Fez idea of fucking around with 2D, 3D space is one of those is one of the most compelling ideas ever to me because I love that weird geometry shit. Yeah. And that stops being that game within like an hour.
Starting point is 01:45:55 And it becomes this fucking Rosetta Stone block pushing shit. All right. I was so fucking bummed. I remember the rent. I do. Fucking pretentious bullshit yet at the same time. Fuck yeah. The witness is rad.
Starting point is 01:46:13 Everybody fucking completely different developer. Everybody get in. Yeah, I know. But but I'm saying based on the concept of something simple becoming something. Yeah. Yeah. No, the witness is how you do it. Like, like draw these lines.
Starting point is 01:46:24 That's not so hard. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Shit. Nervous fucking was that triangle mean was that mean sitting in the most peaceful idyllic location ever and you're having panic attacks. You're having panic attacks in paradise. Like that's exactly what's happening.
Starting point is 01:46:45 Don't understand. Okay. That was me. All right. Yeah. Fair enough. I was by the way, you know, you've joked forever about like, haha, I don't need to play the old game.
Starting point is 01:46:58 I can just play the new one. Yeah. You're actually right on this one. Oh, yeah. For the first time. If you go and play resident evil two, yeah, right now, you will get well, you can't travel back in time and make yourself 10 or 11 years old. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:47:13 Right. Yeah. It's time and feel what it must have felt like to be an adult at that era when RE2 came out because it nails it. It is absolutely the equivalent of itself. Yeah. Back in the day. No, folks, folks have aggressively begun petitioning for me to take a crack at RE2.
Starting point is 01:47:39 You should really do something with that game. Yeah. Yeah. Something. Like, but like, I would be fucking fascinated to see that shit. You want to see me futzen and butzen? Yeah. Butzen and butzen, try to aim at something and not knowing anything about how to save
Starting point is 01:47:59 my ammo or what to slice that. Dude, the most entertaining thing in the world is watching somebody lose all their fucking gear and go, I don't know how to solve this problem, but I'm going to have to solve it. I mean, I have some semblance. That's survival horror. I have some semblance based on four and five, but those are different games, you know? I will give you the as you go into this ever for any survival horror, I will give you the one biggest tip.
Starting point is 01:48:27 Figure out what areas you'll need to come back to. Do I need to come back here? Kill everything. Do I not need to come back here? Whatever. No, I mean, to be honest, like considering how much of our following like is super down and into survival horror, I wish I was in more. I wish I was in more than I am, but you know, but I do have the outsider's curiosity on
Starting point is 01:49:00 it that much is sure, you know, this is probably the best place you could possibly, yeah. But I also feel like fuck, I haven't even touched seven yet, and I hear how great that is too. So, you know, Resident Evil seven is also a great place to start. Those games are ironically now very similar, yeah, and are it to shows like no, the third person is best for survival horror. First person is best for horror, right? Third person is best for survival horror.
Starting point is 01:49:38 Would you say that seven is a genre switch? No, seven is a third, seven is the first. First person survival. Yeah. Not first person horror. Yeah. Okay. The distinction that I make there and I think I would make, there's like tied to a fucking
Starting point is 01:49:55 chair not moving is horror. There's a shit ton of fucking like, like designations, but I would take the genre designation of can you defend yourself at all? At all, yeah. If the answer is yes, is that defense of yourself resource based? If the answer is that is yes, then it's survival horror. Is the primary goal of the game do you scare the shit out of you and you have no defense? That's just fucking horror.
Starting point is 01:50:28 Is it jump scare, laden, fucking run your ass off? I would call that panic horror. So like PT is like, or war, to the max. If the only mechanic is run and get jump scared, that's just about causing terror. Fair enough. Third person is best. I generally agree overall. In fact, I would make that a hard, fast rule at all times with few exceptions.
Starting point is 01:51:03 You know what the goofiest thing is in RE7, most of the enemies are those molded. They're not all that interesting to look at. In RE2, the zombies are insanely detailed and being in first person, you would actually get a really good look at how detailed they are. Like, I don't know, I don't care for RE7's perspective. I love that game and I think it's great, but the perspective, yeah. I would very much like to see an RE8 continue in the mold of the RE2 they just made. I think this is the best version of the formula Capcom has ever created and that they could
Starting point is 01:51:41 fucking just make more of those. Is it, is it? So like you do then want to see this go backwards and forwards and basically do the re-re-remake and do the- I'd be good with RE8. And then you said Code Veronica, right? Is the one that needs the most. Yeah, so I'm in this place of like, I think RE3 is fine and holds up better than RE2 because
Starting point is 01:52:04 the control stuff and the backgrounds are higher quality, but like, I feel like if you're going to remake anything, remake Code Veronica because Code Veronica is bad. So that one needs it more. But I would honestly just prefer to see them go ahead with RE8 with the third person and like this style. Okay. Okay. Just not on another boat.
Starting point is 01:52:28 I don't know if you know this, but like, there's so many fucking Resident Evil games on cruise liners and boats and shits. I feel like this sensible thing to do would be to branch the first person VR experience into a different series, right? I think that VR experience was like a PlayStation thing, like deal, because that VR never came to anything else. Just the PlayStation version. But I just, I guess, I mean, if the first person experience that they created was successful
Starting point is 01:53:00 and it's like, oh shit, we can do more of this, then it would be interesting to see the franchise because you know, they were mercenaries and not mercenaries. What was the fucking second series called again for a while? The second mainline series? Revelation. Revelations, right? So you had this parallel multi-game RE series going on. So it was like, yeah, you can now just go mainline numbers and then first person games.
Starting point is 01:53:24 Well, that would be a very clear distinction. To my knowledge, the reason why that happened is because Resident Evil has been worked on by so many people in Capcom. There are like five different teams that all purport to know what the real heart of Resident Evil is. And they're all wildly different, which is how you got shit that changed as far as Resident Evil is about co-op with Revelations, to Resident Evil is about hardcore action shooting, which is about Operation Racoon City, or like, you know, like, yeah, it's goofy.
Starting point is 01:54:03 But this is the way. Do them like this. This is a good way. Okay. Excuse me for a second. Let me just confirm that we should, in fact, take a word from our sponsors. Oh, yeah. Let's take a word from our sponsors.
Starting point is 01:54:22 Indeed, we should. Because this week, the podcast is sponsored by Casper. Hey, Casper, what up? That's that sleep brand. Well, I could use some sleep. Oh, yeah. Resident Evil screwed my sleep up real bad. Well, you know, these guys are revolutionizing a line of products that create exceptionally
Starting point is 01:54:44 comfortable sleep experiences one night at a time. So no matter how much Resident Evil you play, until you drop fucking dead, I'm getting angry in my heart at you for talking about how great sleep is right now, because I'm gonna, I feel like I could sleep on the floor right now. I don't want to. You don't have to, because right over there, right over there, just off camera. You're not sleeping in your bed. No, you're not.
Starting point is 01:55:08 But I'm just letting you know that right over there is a comfortable Casper mattress. And of course, you have three designs to choose from the original Casper, the Wave, the Essential. They're all perfectly designed to soothe and cradle your natural geometry like mine does right over there. Why are you challenging me? It's right there. With this, like, comfortable bed. If you would look over there, you would see breathable design that helps you sleep cool
Starting point is 01:55:33 and it regulates your body temperature throughout the night, just like it did to me last night. And it was delivered right to my door in a small, how do they do that, box? Free shipping and returns to the U.S. and Canada. And of course, if you don't know and you want to try it out, you've got that hundred night risk-free sleep-on-it trial, which I took, and guess what? After a hundred nights, I wanted it. So I kept it. I still think that's like a ridiculously long period, like a hundred days.
Starting point is 01:56:05 It's not so. That's crazy. That's crazy eddy time. You know what? How would you not know? You know, crazy eddies deals? Yeah. That's one of those crazy eddy deals.
Starting point is 01:56:13 How would you still be undecided after 99? Yeah. Like, oh man, crazy Casper, given the craziest deals, hundred nights to try it out. You spend a third of your life sleeping. Why not be comfortable? Tell you what, I still use mine as the most comfortable mattress I've ever owned and I'm super-duper happy with it. So if you want to get $50 towards select mattresses, you can visit casper.com slash friendcast
Starting point is 01:56:46 and use friendcast at checkout. That needs to be updated. Yeah. Well, they didn't do that. They need to get the word to update that. That's casper.com slash friendcast offer code friendcast. You've got to set an email out and email will be sent out. But for now, that's what it is for $50 off your mattress purchase terms and conditions
Starting point is 01:57:07 apply. So thank you, Casper. Emails going to be sending them. Yeah. All right. With that. So yeah, that's the end of what I've been doing with my week. Not sleeping.
Starting point is 01:57:27 That's for damn sure. If you want to find out more about what I'm doing with my week, hey man, I stream Tuesdays to Fridays. That's crazy. I do that over at the twitch.tv slash angriestpad. That's wild. And what you're going to be, oh, what do you fucking think? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:57:45 I don't know. Maybe you'd want to hook up some doughnut county. It's not a whole stream. I'll do Resident Evil and maybe something else. I don't know. Do you know it'd be hilarious if you just did Old Ari? Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:58:01 I did that a few months ago. Oh, well, fair enough to remind myself because it's been a couple of years. So yeah, I had a week in it. I did a couple of things. First off, I guess I will talk about Darkest Dungeon because I went back to that after a long time. Yeah, so you were playing that. And I was like, well, he loves Darkest Dungeon.
Starting point is 01:58:25 Man, I love that game. And there's so much about it that I don't know. Really? Still? Yeah. Because I sometimes, you know, not, you know, I did the same thing I did with Hollow Knight, which, you know, turned out to be, I guess, a mistake in retrospect because of how much people let me know I was like, oh, dude, you missed so much and whatnot.
Starting point is 01:58:48 But like, I do still enjoy the version of things where I'm like, there's so many games out there where you just you immediately play it as a community experience, right? And that's that's the average game now. Once upon a time, there would be some games or community experience games like Souls games. But other things are still you're doing it on your own and then you just experience it cold and that's all there is to it. Now, most games involve the Internet in some way chiming in saying things, pointing out what's up or where to go and what to do.
Starting point is 01:59:20 I should mention that you and I got a hyper version of this. Yes. And I think that perhaps I, in a normal scenario, otherwise would have probably not had this feeling accelerated as quickly as it did for me. But because it did accelerate to the point where like, I feel like so many things are like that, it gives me an increased desire to just click the install button, click play and just play it and not this one's for Wally. And then if I figure out things on the way and I put time in and I see how it goes, I'll
Starting point is 01:59:54 eventually figure I'll figure out my own stuff, you know what I mean? And this is a game where there's so many ways to play it right. There's so many ways to play it wrong. There's so many little things you can do to optimize and there's so many little mistakes you can make. Huh. Little do you know there's actually only one way to play it right. You just haven't figured it out.
Starting point is 02:00:15 But I managed to get pretty far like on a method of play that I got used to. And then I kind of realized upon popping the stream on, like I'm like, oh shit, besides that first time we took a look at it a while ago. Age, as I go back before when I was early access. I've learned so much, but I've also not learned a lot and I've enjoyed that process. So now that I'm going to be like exposing that save file for everybody, it's like, alright, here we go. Let me see what I didn't know.
Starting point is 02:00:43 And yeah, of course there was a lot, but ultimately it was a really fun night and I had other plans for that night, but I ended up just playing Darkest Dungeon for seven hours. Yep. I was like, I was like, I had guys, we're going to play a bunch. And then you're like, okay, we're going to switch. And then everyone starts screaming, you fuck you, don't you switch, you bastard. It's like, alright, okay. I really just, I wanted to stay in.
Starting point is 02:01:10 And yeah, it was just a ton of fun streaming that over on Wally versus, of course, where I managed to do a warm up run, do an attempt at a boss, crack it and get fucking bodied. Didn't lose anybody in the process, however, it was alright. Just a lot of heart attacks, no big deal. And then took a run at the Darkest Dungeon and actually beat it for the first attempt. So that was super cool to get that done live on stream. Considering I went in with no confidence in that happening. I had my, I had my like maxed out crew, but I really did not think that was going to happen.
Starting point is 02:01:58 And it came down to the wire with like one party member fucking dead. The other two on death's door and one sitting alright against that final boss. And then a sweet ass repost just ended it all and it was fucking good. We had, like I was naming party members after stream people. So you know, we had everybody kind of chiming in and answering some trivia to get in there. It was a fun time. Yeah, that's what I did that with my XCOM thing way back in the day. And it creates this bizarre situation where you start screaming at your character for
Starting point is 02:02:36 fucking up. And someone at home was like, oh no, that's me. The worst thing happened though, because at first it was naming them, but then they could choose to name it other people. So then people started naming things after whatever they wanted. And we eventually had Tarkas the Crusader leading the charge who then runs up against a hundred stress and becomes a fucking coward. Oh no.
Starting point is 02:02:59 Tarkas the coward. And I'm like, this is lore destroying. Oh no. This sucks. The meme is ruined. It was huge fucking sad when that happened. But then we also had characters that were like going through like their ninth heart attack and hanging in there.
Starting point is 02:03:15 And I'm like, this is that dad that just refuses to stop eating red meat. You had, you know what I mean? Like when someone goes through that eighth heart attack and they're like, I'm okay. Just heal me. I'm back. I'm still there. You're just like, I'm good. It's fine.
Starting point is 02:03:30 Don't worry about it. It's just that dad that's just like, I'm too old for this shit. You know, if you ate red meat, if you stopped eating red meat, you'd probably, I'm too old for that. Just, you know, you could just stop smoking, right? Yeah. I likes me some red meat. Just defibrillate my shit when the time comes.
Starting point is 02:03:43 Just put the defibrillator in the meat. That's and I'm good. You know, and you're just like, he's fucking just held on the whole way through and that was awesome. But yeah, really had a blast going back to that. Always a game that I forget how addicted I am to it and how I just, I'm like, yeah, that's an easy seven hours, cool. So where am I?
Starting point is 02:04:04 That's going back in to the hard rotation, even though there's no time for it. I've been thinking about it a lot again and I feel there's always time for the game that you truly love. And there's all this, there's all this cool DLC that everyone has been telling me about that I still don't think I've touched really because I just had my old save file from back in the day. And they put out two DLCs and there's so much content in that game that you can play a lot without ever really scraping up against it.
Starting point is 02:04:32 One's about vampires and the other's about Lovecraft, which seems both of them super appropriate. So they've been heavily revising the difficulties as well so that you can play like a more streamlined, not easier, but faster experience. What? Apparently there's a version of the game where you can... Not easier, just faster. Yeah, you can get through it faster, but it's not necessarily easier and then in a super
Starting point is 02:04:57 brutal mode and stuff like that. So darkest fucking dungeon back in. Absolutely. The other thing I did was play some Twinbee. I went back to Twinbee, the old shmup, just to see what was what. And that game has... Press off your Icaruga win. And then Gradius.
Starting point is 02:05:23 So Twinbee's super fucking cool. There's definitely some fun ideas in that game. It's dated at shit and there's a really... The sense of progression, it just loops at a certain point. You just kind of go through a bunch of levels and then they just kind of loop and it runs out of tile sets nice and fast. But it's got one really strong mechanic, which is shooting bells that bounce. So it's a horizontal shmup and there's these...
Starting point is 02:06:04 Your power-ups are these bells that you shoot out of the clouds and they basically are trying to fall off the screen and you have to shoot to bounce them back. And the more you shoot them, the more they change color and they become different power-ups. And as the screen fills with bullshit, it gets harder and harder to play that juggling game while you're trying to survive. But you know that the best power-ups are behind that game. So you can try to survive and just shoot everything and not care. Or if you want to get really cool shit and rewards, then you should play that game of
Starting point is 02:06:37 trying to get the bell, which adds sufficient difficulty to everything. So yeah, it was fun. It was fun to kind of go see that. And I haven't seen a ton of games use that type of mechanic since. So I liked how that was there and I should probably go through that line of games. I know that the Perodius and Twin Bees are pretty popular shit gets made. Fuckin' Perodius. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:07:02 I can't fucking believe Perodius. That shit exists. Shmups need fun too. Shmups are allowed to be fun. No. They have to be about the anime vampire girl who does the... I don't know what Toho is, man. Toho is a bunch of shrine maidens that are, I believe, they're immortal.
Starting point is 02:07:24 Saying the word Toho made me so much more tired. That was a mistake. That's fine. I want to say a bunch of immortal shrine maidens and they all have a habit of butchering the English language. They love it. It's their favorite thing to do. And if I'm wrong, good.
Starting point is 02:07:42 Apparently the music is high quality. Uh, yeah. God, what the fuck, like, incantation of iridescent flowers. Toho versus Kingdom Hearts. Who has the shittier titles? Go. Oof. At least Toho has consistency.
Starting point is 02:08:06 I will give Toho the win on that because there's a consistency to it, right? There's a certain way that titles can create a trend. You know how you hear a James Bond title and you know what it is right away? That's correct. So that when someone makes a parody, like, no one lives forever, you immediately go, oh yeah. Yeah. Totally, right?
Starting point is 02:08:28 Absolutely. Or I expect you to die, like, that stuff or whatever, which is actually a line straight from it. But so that's fine. Podcast titles have become a known thing. There's a language to them. There's a tense, you know? There's a whole pattern that can be recreated in such a way.
Starting point is 02:08:48 And Toho titles kind of at least have that consistency to them, whereas Kingdom Hearts titles have nothing to do with each other. They're just letters and numbers and all kinds of random wacky shit. The worst one. With the exception of communication in the acronym. I think it's like Kingdom Hearts 2.8, Birth by Sleep, Final Chapter Prologue, .2, a fragmentary passage is the worst thing ever made in words. If your gibberish can be like, if there's a feeling that comes from your gibberish eventually,
Starting point is 02:09:30 then I'm going to give that the win. I'm okay with that. Jim Sterling put out a really fantastic video out today. Did you see the title? What? It was, it's called Kingdom Hearts is Stupid Gibberish. Nice. And it, it is just, dude, I should be, I feel exactly the same way as Jim in that video.
Starting point is 02:09:52 I should be so excited for Kingdom Hearts 3 coming out tomorrow because I love Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2. I am bored to tears by it. Well, you weren't the right age when it came out. I was the right age. No, you were too old. You needed Kingdom Hearts 1. Dude, that came out in 2001.
Starting point is 02:10:14 No, it didn't. That's impossible. Does that make any sense? No, it couldn't have come out in 2001. It's a PlayStation 1 game. It had to have come out like. PlayStation 2 game, rather. PlayStation 2 game, 2002?
Starting point is 02:10:27 No, it had to be later. 2002, 2002. 2002. 2002. Okay. Now, you needed to be. That was 17 years ago. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:10:39 So, you needed to be way younger than that because you were still in your late teens. You needed to be formative early teen years. Like you needed to be from, I want to say, 8 to 12. No, but you don't get it. I love Kingdom Hearts 1 and 2. I know. We got a decade of shitty spinoffs, but they're all really important. But you need Kingdom Hearts to be your Sonic.
Starting point is 02:11:07 That's where it has to be. It has to be in the slot of Sonic for you. Right. Sonic isn't even my Sonic. Okay, but you know what I mean? People that are like, I was 10 when that happened, those are the people that are like, Yeah, Kingdom Hearts 3. Because they were the right age.
Starting point is 02:11:24 For that magic. I totally disagree. I think there's a large percentage of people out there that are wildly insistentory for that game. That are older? Yeah. Definitely. And they kept up with all the stupid bullshit.
Starting point is 02:11:36 But I'm just saying that I feel that the vast majority is going to be of the fervors. Do you think the vast majority of people that are yay are the parking lot gang? My brain just turned the word parking lot into Kingdom Hearts. Yeah, that's correct. Yeah. It's people that had that during that time. When it was you were just young enough that Sora and Riku and Kairi were the coolest motherfuckers ever.
Starting point is 02:12:08 That was never the case for anyone. And you wanted big open parachute pants and you wanted keychains hanging off your shit. Ever. That was never the case. And you spoke in loose platitudes and you wanted to look inside the warm house. Did you see the fucking breakdown of how many times the word darkness is said in Kingdom Hearts? No.
Starting point is 02:12:31 It's like 490 something. Hmm. Yeah. I played a bunch of those games. I don't remember the darkness ever being explained once. But you know what the darkness means. No, you don't know what the darkness means. But as a kid you do.
Starting point is 02:12:49 No, you don't. No, you do though. It's so poorly defined. Which is the point by not getting specific and by being vague and believing in friendship. But you're building this highly specific interpersonal dimensional war story off of nothing is ever concrete in that shit ever. But the more details and the more human attributes you give these avatars the less relatable they are to specific people on the mass whole.
Starting point is 02:13:24 So you know, as a kid that is 10, I don't think Riku is relatable to anyone. That motherfucker is the biggest nobody of them all. As a kid who is 10, you need a big old adventure boy that you can put on his shoes in the same way that you can put on the shoe. No, no. Okay, you're you're talking like you know, but you don't. I have no idea. Okay.
Starting point is 02:13:49 I have no idea. Like, okay, let me bring. Okay, so Clems is doing a Kingdom Hearts like retrospective kind of thing, just like he did for the near series, right, or Dragon Guard, right? Okay. So he brings up a really fantastic point because the fact that these things are poorly defined doesn't just hurt the problem. The problem is that even things that are straight up told to you and are specific are
Starting point is 02:14:09 lies. Okay. Characters that are nobody's have no emotions. Except for these 10 cutscenes in which they are crying, screaming in anger or pleading for their life out of terror, right? Like it like nothing makes any fucking sense. I remember when I saw that cutscene where I was like, Oh my God, they have parents. And then I'm like that reframed the entire thing of what I thought Kingdom Hearts was.
Starting point is 02:14:35 Oh yeah. And then everyone fucking parents are dead within an hour of starting the game. Well, not that I saw. Yeah, you did. Okay. Well, anyway, not that I saw. Yes, you did. Well, but I didn't.
Starting point is 02:14:46 No, but you did. But you weren't paying attention then. Okay. Well, and dude, there was a cutscene. Did you get to Traverse Town? Yes. Then you saw his parents die. Okay.
Starting point is 02:14:57 But obviously I didn't. It was what I'm saying. Yeah, you did. Oh my God. The star went out. That means his planet is gone. What is that? What is that random piece of information mean to someone with no context, dude?
Starting point is 02:15:08 Like what I'm saying is I'm literally just going like, oh, wow, I had no idea this even happened in this world. I always thought these were just orphan kids from the get go. And then immediately people were like, yeah, well, they might as well be because that never comes up again. That's dead. Okay. Well, not as far as I know, but regardless, the point enough people said that you don't
Starting point is 02:15:29 actually see or hear anything from them again anyway. So it doesn't even matter. That's actually really weird and creepy. And I'm like, what? These kids adventuring have parents and they never touch it again. They never talk to them ever. That's so weird to me. Why would you call home?
Starting point is 02:15:43 So that was, that was one of the biggest fucking weird things I noticed about the whole thing. You know, but I was like, okay, that as a, I don't know, I just figure like as a kid that is like throwing all of my time and effort and love into this game that, yeah, I feel like the people that are very excited for Kingdom Hearts three right now are the people that have like they, they are the DeviantArt Kingdom Hearts fucking accounts. They're the, the, the people that have been waiting a lifetime for this shit. And it's actually, and it's in that slot. It's in that number one slot in their heart.
Starting point is 02:16:21 You know, maybe not Sonic, maybe, maybe FF seven or Xeno gears for you. Not the Sonic slot. But I don't think I have anything that I feel that that way towards where my judgment gets fucking warped and put the book, like, cause even if I did love something that much, like I really loved Sonic a lot when I was a kid and then a shit ton of bad Sonic games came out and I stopped liking Sonic and I didn't, I didn't double down and start like having sex with, with like my pictures of Sonic and it's interesting to see how many people are like, I agree and so many people are like, no, that's not the case at all.
Starting point is 02:16:58 And I'm just speculating as a huge outsider. I have no idea because I'm just saying what it feels like from the outside. The big bummer was that Kingdom Hearts one came out and was a great game. And then Kingdom Hearts two came out like a year or two later, like relatively soon. It was great. And there was a bunch of stuff in there that you kind of didn't understand because you didn't play the GBA game, but that was fine. And he had 10 years of fucking weird side bullshit.
Starting point is 02:17:23 Now you have to watch a primer on YouTube to fucking get up to date. And it's not because it's weird, obscure, alternate universe shit like it is for Dragon Guard, it's like, no, you got to know about the Keyblade War. You got to know about the Keyblade War. If you want to play, it's like, is it really so much to ask to be able to play the numbered games in a series and be able to like follow it at all? I mean, they did release that collection. Collections missing like four or five games.
Starting point is 02:17:54 Couldn't you play everything on the collection and be more or less? No, damn. There's like a mobile or like flash game that's called Chi. If there's a flash game that's not cover. If there's a what's the back cover one? If there's a flash game that no longer exists, that has canon details, everyone can fuck off because that's awful. I hope that's that's what happened to fucking dirt fucking Final Fantasy 7
Starting point is 02:18:21 compilation. OK, so before crisis is not playable by English speakers ever. Not that I heard that there's super crucial information in that, but that was a whole chapter that you couldn't play. Yeah. The similar thing that comes to mind is do you want to know the best official source for Kirby outside of the pause screen? What's that?
Starting point is 02:18:44 The fucking me verse posts that no longer exist. That sucks. They had a ton of information on me verse posts that are deleted now. And like that was where you could get some lore and thank God, some people like copy pasted some shit because that was a time locked piece of lore and like I hope you get an art book someday that might decide to transcribe Kirby's story, you know, that otherwise you're not getting anything.
Starting point is 02:19:15 What? One's Kirby Historia. One's Kirby Historia. I'm working on it. All right. Anyway, so that was what I did. But besides, so there's excited for Kingdom Hearts. Just jump right in at three.
Starting point is 02:19:33 I'm going to be late to the party like everything, you know, I. Hey, if you're, hey, my Twitter is at angry as Pat. If you're a person that has never played a Kingdom Hearts and doesn't know nothing about no Kingdom Hearts, but you're playing Kingdom Hearts three completely raw, I would like to hear what your experience is like. That sounds like a fucking crazy person that would jump right into three. Do you remember when Bioware came out and said Mass Effect 3 is the
Starting point is 02:20:06 perfect time to start playing Mass Effect? And everyone on the earth was like you are a bit like what's it plague say, bitch, are you for real? I feel like I feel like there's definitely people that are caught up on a hype train that are willing to just be like it's the new thing. Everyone's on it. Let's play the thing with everybody, even though I have no idea what's going on. And I think that's a mistake.
Starting point is 02:20:33 Who is that? Well, that guy's actually 10 people. It's just step step aside. Let the hype like don't get on. Let the hype train pass. It's not for you. You don't have a ticket. It's OK. It's OK to know I want to be in the thing.
Starting point is 02:20:46 Everybody's happy, you know, it's it's fucking you're just setting yourself up for confusion and then you're going to look around and be like, yeah, this is so great. What the fuck is going on? Set the stage for confusion. Stop. It's OK, guys. Nobody is waiting. What if that game once it exists will continue to exist in the future? What if Kingdom Hearts 3 is actually really simply and well told and ignores
Starting point is 02:21:11 most of the stupid shit that you would know about or explains it in the moment that you would need to know about it? And it's easy to understand. You get to do one, two, three pop pop. Oh, that'd be cool. That's not happening. But no, you think they've started doing that? I have eight games ago. I have become.
Starting point is 02:21:32 Just I have grown a distaste for Nimura over time. That's a shame. I dislike what he does. I haven't tasted him enough to grow a distaste. You know what? That's, you know, I I. Yeah, OK. Sticky fingers. Put a zipper where there was none. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Starting point is 02:22:02 You're super right. You're super right. Shit. Anyway, I was going to say I was going to say what I did do this week besides play those games was, oh, yeah. Well, one my favorite fucking my my favorite JoJo punch shout went down this week. That's your favorite. That's my favorite. I mean, sound effect for that one.
Starting point is 02:22:30 I can't quite tell. So you got the, you got the Oh, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo, boo. You've got do- 스 kind o- All right, with and version A and version B. But my favorite? You got it this week in the form of Bruna with his Leja de c.
Starting point is 02:22:53 It is sick, big fan, big fan of a very dealers. Is Bruna the main character of part five? Because it feels like Joe, no, it's just there. It's up for debate. He hasn't done anything in like 12 episodes. It is up for debate. The answer is he should be. Why?
Starting point is 02:23:30 The answer is no, but then asterisk. Yes. Like, it's not, you know what I mean? It's a little, it's a little like you can go back very clearly and be like, yo, Zeppeli is rad. And then another part later, you can be like, yo, Zeppeli is rad. You know, and then after that, you can be like, yo, fucking take your pick at which all these guys are rad, you know, and so on and so forth.
Starting point is 02:23:56 But here are here part five. No, he's not the main character brackets. Yes, but he's on the screen more and talks more and all the characters know him. And he's the leader of the bunch. You know him well, and he's a fucking couple. It's so weird. Yes, like I kind of forgot. Jordan was there over the past three or four episodes.
Starting point is 02:24:23 Well, you won't forget because he has a dream. OK, yeah, that's pretty good. But that's pretty. Don't forget that he has a dream. But like, like I fucking forgot. Jordan was there and then he was like, bitch, I made a snake out of a brick. And I'm like, oh, right, you do stuff. You're here. Yeah. No, Bruno, Bruno is a character with
Starting point is 02:24:51 equal with he has better motivations to do what he does than the main character does, making him feel more like the Joe star of the park. Yeah. And since people are playing out, we'll I'll revisit this once we're through with part five. Which will be a while, I think. But I have I also have big feelings on like Bruno and his role in the story and where the camera is at times.
Starting point is 02:25:22 And yes, the answer to that question is a complicated one person farthest from the camera when they're all walking away is Bruno, not Jordan. Yeah. Yeah, like Bruno, Jordan is standing next to him like like he's Bruno's right hand in the story. It's really weird. It's really, really weird. Yeah, but the camera is looking at me because I came from Dio's balls. That is true. You know, that is true.
Starting point is 02:25:48 Dio's balls are the main character. That's correct. Of the entire franchise. Let's just be real. Oh, wait. What? Yeah. Everyone who matters came from Dio's balls. Wait, hold on. And that's Jonathan's balls. I was about to say they're Jonathan's balls.
Starting point is 02:26:04 Well, it's half and half. We talked about this in the play. No, it's all Jonathan's balls. Watch the seven stand user play through. Volta and I got to the bottom of this. What? One ball is Jonathan's. One ball is Dio's. Jonathan's balls.
Starting point is 02:26:17 They have Dio's influence on them. No, we're we're doing it half and half. No, that's not how that works. It took him a while to become dead. There's a transition period. He had to get used to it, right? And it depends on when Dio was was stumping, right? If he got if he if he if Dio was laying some pipe down
Starting point is 02:26:35 while he was not quite used to the body yet, then he was definitely more Jonathan. Yeah. But then there's a certain point where he gets the lipstick on and he gets really into it. Yeah, but he never quite gets. He doesn't get the chance to really go all in at that point because that's like a few moments before he fucking unfortunately, you know.
Starting point is 02:26:49 But maybe unfortunately, he's an asshole. Yeah, I know. But yeah, he's terrible. But was he used to it with Pucci or what? No, I'm just saying. Yeah. But but all I'm saying all I'm saying is is that the the camera is firmly locked on Dio's balls as the main character Jonathan's balls. Well, same thing.
Starting point is 02:27:09 No, same thing. I refuse this cannon, this head cannon. So it's like, you know, when you are you like, so sometimes the story kind of wanders, right? And it does its own thing. And then you kind of follow another Joestar for a while. But when you hold the Z button to Z to like Z target, it just locks right back on to Dio's balls
Starting point is 02:27:28 and no matter where or when you are in the cannon, including alternate realities, including alternate realities. Somehow you hold the Z button and it goes and it makes a little fucking Ocarina of Time. No, you're right now. Part nine, Dio's going to be back again. And then a big yellow Ocarina of Time cursor is just spiraling around those balls
Starting point is 02:27:48 because they're really important, really, really important. Is that where the green baby came from? No, but they call it steel ball run for a reason. Oh, boo. Just saying, boo, just saying. All right, boo and you. I watched an anime. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 02:28:10 Besides JoJo and that was I went to go see the fucking Dragon Ball Broly movie. Oh, yeah, I heard that. It was good. Went to go see the Broly. How was Broly just in time for Broly to get announced for Dragon Ball Z fighters again? Mm hmm.
Starting point is 02:28:27 So how was Broly Broly? Broly was Broly was cool. Was he big? Broly was big. Broly was strong. Was he overwhelmingly strong? Yeah, OK. Now, Broly was cool. Broly was cool.
Starting point is 02:28:39 OK, now think about old Broly. Got it. OK, now ask me how Broly was again. New Broly, how was new Broly? Fucking amazing. OK, super radical, awesome, best fucking gap. Yeah, super good. Was he really strong?
Starting point is 02:28:52 He was really strong and he yelled really loud and then he glowed green. Yeah, and he had big energy. Did he do the weird green ball shit that he did? Okay, ball shit. And then he just he was so strong and his number. How big was his number was so big? Could he have beat a Jiren?
Starting point is 02:29:10 It was so big. I need to know if he could have beat a Jiren. For sure. What about Shaggy? Oh, let's not fucking talk crazy. Let's not crazy, you know, because I mean, let's face it. If the guy that did beat Jiren was not enough to take on this guy, then that guy's number wasn't big enough.
Starting point is 02:29:31 So if that guy had to face this guy, I'm gonna say this guy would have beat that guy. Oh, man, because that guy's number was way smaller compared to this guy's. Do you know if the director of the original Broly movie had anything to do with this? No, I don't know because like the funniest thing in the universe is that the director for the original Broly movie is like a huge mark for Broly. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:29:54 And when people were talking about DBZ Super, he was like, oh, yeah, Broly kicked Jiren's ass in like two seconds. OK. Like, I mean, no, for real, totally. You can, yeah, based on the extreme lengths that are required to fight Broly, one would say that, yes, it's easy to infer that Jiren would not be able to handle this number. Oh, man, you know, now we'll now I'm back in.
Starting point is 02:30:19 So here's the ball. So here's the thing. Now there's a bigger number, right? Right. So here's the thing, right? So in addition to the bigger number and the big green, and then he's got the Cool Barbarians pelt. It's a million times better design than his original Roman style. And he's got the fucking Ava unit one colors, which.
Starting point is 02:30:38 Oh, oh, look, it's my color scheme. That's cool. Yeah. So in addition to all that horseshit, you get some you get some actual, like a planet, planet, Vegeta lore. OK. You know, you get some revisiting of Planet Vegeta. You get some Planet Vegeta politics. OK. And you get some big old Saiyan girls. Someone up in the cannon, which, again, I haven't watched Super,
Starting point is 02:31:00 so I know that I'm missing a lot of possible Eli's make this. I would almost think he did. Oh, wow. There are Russian Saiyans on Planet Vegeta. That's me. There are Russian scientists. Girls was hanging out doing science on Planet Vegeta. OK, I'll be real. I didn't really expect the Saiyan warrior race to have scientists. They have scientists working on their two babies.
Starting point is 02:31:26 OK, because, you know, the two baby. Yeah, they're mostly all two babies. Yes. So that whole deal had become they spent some scenes kind of going into that. Yeah. Right. And they basically take what was baby Broly going. You mean the shittiest origin story of all time? Yes. They revisit that. OK. And make it better.
Starting point is 02:31:45 Oh, that by simply making it exist. It's not even that it's a remarkable story in any way. It's not particularly well written, but it's a story. Instead of baby Goku cried a lot. And that's all there is to it. Oh, I'm so mad. Right. How could I even remember those events as a tube baby? Whatever, it doesn't matter.
Starting point is 02:32:07 And then they wrote him a good reason for being over there for the events of everything. Yeah. And then suddenly he's not over there anymore. Do they write a good reason as to why his number is just so weird? He's just so big. But tell me why he's so big. It's just big. Just that he's so big. Whispers say that he might be the legendary Super Saiyan.
Starting point is 02:32:29 He's got the. So anyway, like they do, they, you know, like motivations are shifted and obviously corrected and more looked more of the politics of the Frieza force and the Saiyans are explored in a way. So you get to just see a lot more of that. That's fine. And again, maybe you see more in Super. I don't know. I'm just going off of me being a z-watcher and this.
Starting point is 02:33:03 And so Broly's motivations and such are they're better because they're so like fucked with over the course of the story in a way. So it's like he's a big angry man, for sure. But like for better, different reasons. And he's more of a victim of circumstance. OK, but he's still cool, big guy. Yeah. And. Yeah. And then they have some then they make some interesting choices, I guess,
Starting point is 02:33:38 without, you know, the big cool fight happens. But without going into, I suppose, like the what few what little plot there is because there is very little plot in a Dragon Ball movie. But what little plot there is has some surprising results. OK. Goku's a fucking moron and that continues to be the case. Wow. He's hilariously dumb and that I'm shocked. Frieza is hilariously petty. Yeah, like he's a fucking.
Starting point is 02:34:11 I have. Have you ever seen like? Yes, you have. We have seen Hitler as a punchline, but they've turned Frieza into punchline Hitler. He's he's been space Hitler from the word go. But now he's space Hitler with a boom behind him when he talks and does thing. Yeah, he's always been that it's no, it's mostly no like he is. But maybe you're just your maybe I'm seeing the weak version and you're seeing the strong version.
Starting point is 02:34:45 No, Hitler, space Hitler has always been pretty hateable and despisable in his motivations. And this time around, he continues to be extraordinarily evil. Yeah, but like the camera and the moment again has a fucking. It has a beat and a timing to it where then you hear the symbols go off and he fucking he gets a little slide whistle, like as he's committing genocide, you know, or doing horrible things. What?
Starting point is 02:35:18 It's Frieza with jokes is the weirdest. But that's that's where we're at now. And I guess some stuff happened in the course of super that helped solidify that because I know that he was brought back and he helped do good guy things temporarily. So yes, Frieza is technically somewhat responsible for saving the universe or something like that. Yes. So it's really weird to me to see him hanging around being like clown shoes.
Starting point is 02:35:49 I should mention. But then again, it's also weird to me to see the God of Destruction Beerus being clown shoes as well. He was always clown. But I didn't know that because the introduction to him was this evil cat man God is showing up to kill everything. Well, no. And then at some point, this evil cat man God is showing up to kill everybody. But food and then at some point, he turns out to be a friend.
Starting point is 02:36:08 So it's a little put a cat. Oh, I mean, I saw how like we've seen the origin story of him basically doing the same as Vegeta hanging out on a planet and being a God on the planet. And then he's like, I'm tired of this planet. And then he blows it up and you go, wow, you're evil. And you're like, yeah, but you're cool now. But anyway, Vegeta is like. Vegeta was so evil for multiple different points.
Starting point is 02:36:35 Yeah. And so this is really weird because I've seen I saw a page where Vegeta was like there was like this this random monster was about to eat this little Namekian and he fucking Vegeta goes out of his way and is like, oh, fuck no, right? And the guy was like, what's the big deal? And he's like, I've had a trouble passed with these Namekians. And because of the way things went down, I can't allow a single one to be killed. And he's super like noble about it now.
Starting point is 02:37:02 And it's like, oh, shit, that's a cool. Do you feel bad because you got their planet blown up? But here's the thing. OK, we get full flashback in this movie and we get to watch literally not baby. But like toddler Vegeta and toddler Raditz hanging out and then they go, oh, fuck, our home planet was destroyed. And toddler Raditz and Vegeta are like meh. That's all shit from the Bardock backstory.
Starting point is 02:37:34 Yeah. So then you're like, well, he's sure got way more pissed about that later on. Right. Considering how they give so little much, they get very few fucks. Yeah. The second it happens. And they're like four years old. Yeah. And then you cut to when they're when when Frieza's around in the future. And you're like, oh, he he's way mad more about it now. I'm a planet. But I guess it's the maybe it's just because it's like.
Starting point is 02:38:01 No, no, no, no, maybe it's the reveal that it wasn't an accidental asteroid. Oh, it was. Yeah, it was you. Turned out it was you. You want to hear something really wild? What? I was told this so I might be wrong. But you know, they wished Namek back and all that shit with the dragon balls and all that crap. OK, so they wish back everybody that Frieza killed, right? OK, but Vegeta killed like a whole village of people on that planet. That's not included in their not included in the wish.
Starting point is 02:38:28 No, no fucking whoops. Yeah, you got to be hyper specific with it. You have to maybe name a time frame as opposed to the results of an action. You know, but yeah. So what I was going to say is on on on another level entirely in terms of just like production and fucking budget. Oh, holy shit. I saw the trailer.
Starting point is 02:38:55 They have money, cash, money, billionaire boys. It was popular. That's man. OK, so you literally see there's the budget go up, right? In the same way that it did with Gurren Lagann, yeah, you see the money kick in and that 40 percent of the budget kicks in towards the end, yeah, you literally see the moment when the screen goes from 1080p to 4k and the frames get crisp and cripsy, as my grandmother would say.
Starting point is 02:39:26 Yeah, and shit starts going and that's when Broly's numbers get really, really. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all big numbers. And then the bouncy, stretchy Goku of Sakuga visits your timeline for good luck. Yeah, that starts becoming every moment of the movie. Yeah, right. And the parts where you'd expect blur to obscure the action, you can actually see the details for what for like one of the first times I can remember is the high octane high speed action that you get from those insane
Starting point is 02:40:00 Naruto fights or those really high budget OVA scenes. Now you can actually see it super crisp and clear. So it's like you got the shoring and sure. And a couple of really cool moves, really cool ideas where you're like using key in in different ways besides like, you know, like, OK, when they're fighting in the air, they're dog fighting. OK, like, like, oh, cool. You're top gunning it.
Starting point is 02:40:29 You're your ace combating fighting, right? And then at one point, a character charges up fireballs, but just keeps them as melee weapons and uses them as melee weapons. OK. Why in fist to attack and do cool things with it's like when Hulk got the thing with the cars and then what I think is probably the single coolest sequence they've ever put money into. There is a solid maybe one minute of first person dragon ball fighting.
Starting point is 02:41:09 OK. At high budget. OK. And you get to experience fighting Goku. And you see Broly's point of view. OK. Fighting Goku first person. Oh, no, through a mountain up through the air, dodging shit, sliding to the side, counter fire, like it really goes fucking ham. Is first person the only way to truly appreciate how big the number is?
Starting point is 02:41:37 I mean, you can literally see them looking through the new scouters to see the number go up. Oh, wow, there's new scouters that go that high. And you can see that you're gibberish digits, but the digits increase. Oh, fuck. So, you know, anyway, that's crazy new waifus for everybody. Oh, yeah, you're right. New waifus all over.
Starting point is 02:42:00 You got Saiyan waifus. You got alien waifus. You got green Chiyei. You got all kinds of folks hanging out. Wait, you said green Chiyei? You heard me. Chiyei is green. And you got, no, you got actually green Chiyei.
Starting point is 02:42:13 OK, all right. And and all in all, yeah, man, I go go go fucking watch Cool High Budget Dragon Ball. All right, let me ask you is is there a part where they both look at each other and they both do like a really, really big energy attack? And then one of them is like, oh, man, this guy's number is so big.
Starting point is 02:42:39 This is crazy. I can't believe how big this number is. I got to get an even bigger number than him. Yeah. Also. The fun of, you know, you know, the fun of the speed wagon slash smokey slash Krillin standing on the side, watching the fight and calling it and doing the thing. Yeah, this time around.
Starting point is 02:43:08 That's Frieza. OK, yeah, no, that makes sense. And then they fucking and then they do some fun stuff with that, with the idea of Frieza and on this in the stands, watching the fight unfold. So, yeah, Frieza, Frieza, like I'll be really honest, like for some reason, the phrase, the word number in this context, like makes me a giggle every time I hear it. And all I can think of right now is Frieza going, oh, man,
Starting point is 02:43:36 their numbers are so higher than my number. Like because that's a Frieza thing to think. So so original Broly was not a one dimensional character. He was zero dimensions. Yeah, he is zero dimension. It might as well have been a big glowing fist. Yes. You know, you can say that by the end of bio Broly, maybe he's zero point five
Starting point is 02:44:00 dimensions, I'd say negative one if you need. Broly is the actual worst. If you need to. New Dragon Ball Super Broly is one dimensional. OK, but he's probably now my favorite Dragon Ball. I like him. Is that because his colors are the colors that you like? His colors are cool and there's something that I hope.
Starting point is 02:44:25 OK, potential, potentially. I'm hoping for something that might be cool. Yeah. Yeah. Um, because I like me, Vigito a whole lot based on a lot of factors. Vigito is cool. I like a lot of factors about Vigito. I like his personality way more than Gojito's. But but I want to say that the Dragon Ball Super Broly is I like him.
Starting point is 02:44:53 And in his big dumb simplicity, there's some there's there's like ability and there's some stuff and I hope because it seems almost like, um, you know, I'm getting a vibe that they can they're going to they said they confirm more Dragon Ball Super is going to be happening or whatever because it made big money. I'm fucking shocked. Like Broly might be our Green Ranger. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:45:20 Oh, we don't know. Oh, wow. Broly might Broly might be our Green Ranger. Broly might grow. Broly. Fuck, man. Yeah, it's hitting me real bad. There you go. So no, go watch podcasting right there. Go watch it. Go watch. Go watch Broly.
Starting point is 02:45:35 And then once you bully once you watch it, you can enjoy him as he is now hard confirmed, though he's like dead last, right? Like he's going to be very much later. No, there's more. Dead last is the mystery slots we don't we don't know about yet. But hard confirmed for Dragon Ball fighters. We got old Broly and now we get new Broly. Fuck that. Get out of my way.
Starting point is 02:46:01 Old Broly. I mean, new Broly. It's time for Jiren. Now wait, I'm joking. Fuck that. Get out of my way, Jiren. It's time for Videl. So this is the first time I heard Jiren talk. Even his voice is boring. Dude, he's the most boring thing I couldn't believe it.
Starting point is 02:46:20 I was like, Jiren. Jiren is is the actual worst and the most interesting thing he got in his entire story was becoming more boring. And now that's a bit odd to say. But it's like, I don't know how to put this. It's like the fact that he is so boring is realized by some of the cast. Oh, they acknowledge it because they're like, oh, he is pure strength. You know, like that shit is nothing to it.
Starting point is 02:46:50 Yeah. So last night, Dragon Ball World Finals went down. Shocking, excuse me, shockingly, Goichi and Sonic Fox did not win, but they both placed top eight, of course. And of course, Shenron was summoned. So shout outs to that. However, alongside that was the announcement of a new season, a new season of Dragon Ball Fighters and first things first.
Starting point is 02:47:20 Of course, they announced Mr. Strongman, the strongest thing Red Ranger alien boy ever been the strongest. Oh, my God, he's so strong and like he's so strong. And here's the thing. It's like, in addition to him being like bland, it's like his design is also bland, so it's almost like like I get the Sentai vibe of what he's got going on. I do see that part. But it's like he could have been designed so much more interesting.
Starting point is 02:47:46 Like I find hate to be like it's a slam dunk. A slam dunk of simplicity. And this is the opposite of that, you know? This is exactly that. Like him and Topo are like massive shit losers. And then they once they kind of actually take a couple of hits and their uniform gets kind of fucked up, their designs change significantly and they become much better looking like Jiren's designed by the end of Super.
Starting point is 02:48:11 It's literally just the top is torn and it's down. And that's it. Right. And that's all it looks and he looks much better. Yeah. But that's it. He is the fucking strong. The strongest ever.
Starting point is 02:48:23 So that's happening. And then alongside the Jiren announcement. Yeah. Videl finally and combined with Videl is great. Say a man together and he's basically doing all the work. This is perfect. Great. So Videl joins the fight and she does all of the normals.
Starting point is 02:48:44 But then fucking Gohan jumps in and does the special. And and it's very much a 17 and 18 type situation. It's just great. Very cool. And you know what? Considering I love both of these characters as like I would have liked them individually, but I am I am down for them together and I like them enough to just be like I now I get both people I like on my team.
Starting point is 02:49:10 Great Samans in the game as well in a significant way. And I think this is easily like I think Videl with Saman as an assist is way more interesting than just great Samans. It's awesome. It's super fun. And it's like it's like now I get two things I love together for one for the price of one. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:49:27 And Videl gets to talk trash while Gohan the fucking Saiyan does all the work. Right. So that gets announced. The canonically strongest and canonically weakest members on the roster are announced simultaneously. But don't worry about it. He's got shades on. Who's that mysterious man?
Starting point is 02:49:46 He does. They do a double Inazuma kick, by the way. Yeah, of course they do. So that's always fun. And notice that I'm not even trying to do silhouettes on this who could it be thing because they've discovered that silhouettes get fucking found out. They sure do. Especially DBZ characters. Shoutouts to Gunbuster and everything that continues to reference that fucking kick.
Starting point is 02:50:10 So you get Videl and Jiren and then six slots in total. That's two out of the four. And immediately it zooms out to the last two on the on the question marks. And you just cuts the footage of the Broly movie. Yeah. So you immediately go, oh, OK, it's Gojita. SSJ, go Jita. And then yeah, it's blue go Jita and it's Broly from Dragon Ball Super.
Starting point is 02:50:38 So that's what the movie is about. And that's where it goes. And you immediately know, oh, OK. So that's the last two there. So now it's like who is the middle to the middle or the two in the middle. It is. Yeah. If it's Dabura, I'm going to shit because he sucks. Yeah, fuck you, Dabura fans.
Starting point is 02:50:57 It's one of them is going to be Kid Goku and the other one's going to be something. You know what? Fuck it, just do baby Vegeta. Just do baby Vegeta. Fuck it. Yajarobi, I want my Yajarobi. It's not going to happen, but I want it fucking baby Vegeta and fucking Super 17. Who gives a shit? Broly gets two slots now. Yeah, anyway, if it's not Kefla, they're stupid.
Starting point is 02:51:23 Yeah, that's what I'm Broly gets three slots now. Yes, exactly. And that's fine. But that's the age of Broly. Don't fuck it up, guys. Give us Kefla, please. Don't fuck it up. Anyway.
Starting point is 02:51:38 Videl alone. Massive, massive hype insurgents. Very, very, very. They're probably surrounded like we got to get another chick on this rock. We really need one. It's really weird, even though this one is backed by her boyfriend. Yes, she's still cool. We need we need Kailan Kallifla.
Starting point is 02:51:56 We need it. It's weird without it. It's weird. Yeah. We got one that's a robot and the other ones are made up waifu, but there's cannon girls we can put in there. Wait, which one's the robot? I mean, if you can't tell the difference, then no, no, no.
Starting point is 02:52:17 I'm asking because like because they're not androids, which is the worst part. Android 18 is not an Android. I mean, well, she she gave birth. So yeah, she's a cyborg. Yeah. Well, in French, they're called cyborgs. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:52:32 And I think in Japanese, they might actually be called cyborgs. Like the English translation called them androids, but the books we read here in French, they bleed for fuck's sake, the France things. They called them. Yes, cyborg 17 and cyborg. That's like, why did you Android has such a remarkably specific meaning? And honestly, like for the longest while, cyborg 18 was what the character was to me.
Starting point is 02:52:58 And there was a point where the English had to sort of change that. Like the internet, seeing it enough on the internet changed my brain to be like, oh, that's what they're called. But what they call it is wrong. Yeah, it's straight up super wrong. It was also around the time that Seiya Jin was the thing to write. And, you know, I don't know where that went. Shut up.
Starting point is 02:53:18 But shut up and out of the hall. Yeah. That's what that's what fuck. Fuck, I'm getting mad about it again. Fucking Gatsu Seiya Jin right here. So that's cool. I'm happy about that. I hope they continue to make the right move.
Starting point is 02:53:36 Watch them bring it. So what was that? God, which is the huge loser? Is it 19? The fucking. Well, there's Garot himself. And then there's the fat. Yeah, the fat loser that Vegeta tears his arms off.
Starting point is 02:53:51 Yeah, I guess so. But that loser in there. I mean, there's even there's even like if you want, you can get the lower number of losers too, though, like the Red Ribbon fucking. There's some there's some big old black face, mother fuckers. You can go back to that guy. You know, like two guys fucking. Yeah, there's the big army.
Starting point is 02:54:08 Yeah, there's the big gray one. And then there's the big old black face. No, no, no. We're just like, why? What are you? No, he just looks like that. Jiro, what are you doing? Jiro, Jiro, why?
Starting point is 02:54:19 What about that blue motherfucker? What's he is he 15? Um, the blue one with the red hair. He punches Goku in the dick super hard. Maybe there's a 20. Maybe eight. I don't fucking know. All right, load and load.
Starting point is 02:54:32 Android shit got super crazy. Yeah, we got metal cooler in here. 13. What about super 17? I mentioned that earlier. He did. He's terrible. He's got no eyebrows. His when you fuse with yourself, you'd lose your eyebrows. Fucking backstory is like so stupid and opens up the potential for just like all
Starting point is 02:54:51 the dumbest shit ever. Garo makes a real Android version of 18 in hell. Sorry, 17 in hell. And he confused with himself. Why is that process not then infinitely repeatable in order to destroy God? Yeah, there should be. There should be a character whose power is basically Shikimaru's, who then more or less travels around forcing fusions and then using the forced
Starting point is 02:55:22 fusions to fusion again and again and again until they become the biggest number. Like. That should happen. That's what I say. If you can do it, why can't why can't anybody anybody can do it to get their number really big? So alongside this announcement was actual footage of Project Z. Kind of.
Starting point is 02:55:48 It's like actual footage of a bunch of the cut scenes and like Goku walks around for like a second. So this looks like Cyber Connect doing their, you know, good, their nice cell shading. Yeah. And it's yeah, it looks pretty. And it's basically a cut scene showing us what looks like the stories or starting point being the Piccolo fight, which unfortunately is not as early as I
Starting point is 02:56:16 would like things to start, but whatever. We're just retelling the Z saga, right? Piccolo fight is this the demon Piccolo fight like the early on because he looks wrong. It's not the first Piccolo. It's Piccolo Junior fight. Right. Because like that demon like that. That's that's preasy because that one's fucking wild.
Starting point is 02:56:35 Like he snaps Goku's legs and shit. He kicks the fuck out of him. Yeah, we're not going back there. That's awesome. I know, but we're not that fight is great. I really wish we'd start at Dragon Ball, but we're not. But anyway, so when I did point out, I was like, oh, man, the girl is blowing up again.
Starting point is 02:56:51 When I did point out that I was like, oh, man, there's so much warm world building. Like someone like sent me a tweet that was like, dude, you're an idiot. The original Dragon Ball did not have world building. Half of that shit was just tournament. And the other half of it was like, like little moment monster of the week adventures or whatever. Yeah. And I was like, I guess it was.
Starting point is 02:57:09 But I think the reason why it felt like it was world building is because they had to go to different locations on planet Earth. Yeah. So we got to see a zone. Boy's planet Earth poorly defined in Dragon Ball. And it feels and I guess I got a feeling of locations. Whereas Z has Namek and the desert we fight in. And that city, West City, that city. Yeah. And that's it. Yeah. Right.
Starting point is 02:57:36 And so like I'm like, maybe I was wrong, but I certainly know there's a feeling of locations that everybody gets from the original Dragon Ball. So I think you got my sentiment at the moment. Is that one desert they fight in? And there's that slightly different desert that they fight in. Yeah. And then there's that grassy area they fight sell at. Yeah. And then there's the Kame House.
Starting point is 02:57:59 Yeah. But anyway, so this is an RPG and it's going to be redoing the Z stuff. And it looks pretty and Cyber Connect is probably going to be totally fine. But I think it might play like trash. Yeah. But whatever it plays like, I mean, I feel like Cyber Connect can handle an RPG. Yeah. One would hope. Also, Dragon Ball fans are used to playing
Starting point is 02:58:23 super trash games and telling themselves that they're good. I look at it using a verse. I hope that there is. Like, I don't know, man. Like, I just I hope that there'd be like maybe DLC of a little Dragon Ball or something. No, it's not going to happen. Because I think the only real problem here is like it's like the game looks pretty. It's just shit we've all seen.
Starting point is 02:58:50 Yeah. How many times so we're going to watch Krillin Pop? A lot more. We've seen him pop so many times. Well, you're completely right. It doesn't matter. No one cares. No one cares about Dragon Ball. In Toei's eyes.
Starting point is 02:59:09 It's all about that DBZ. Well, anyway, yeah, I want to play a fucking thing that starts at the beginning and I have a goddamn half hour thing where I argue with that fucking rabbit and tell him to give him the power pole and dump him on the fucking moon. He's turning everybody into carrots. That stuff's rad. It's not going to happen. Yeah.
Starting point is 02:59:29 Yeah. Grandpa Gohan, you know. That those days. And Young Bulma and the Capsule Corp. It's it's just when you don't teleport everywhere, the Capsule Corp own the Earth. They might as well. It's confusing, right? It's the Speedwagon Foundation.
Starting point is 02:59:51 No, it's not because the Speedwagon doesn't own the Earth. Capsule Corp. I want to say they don't own the Earth, but I want to say they're like bajillionaires because if you think about that technology, it is the single most useful thing that half the skyscrapers in the cities have Capsule Corp labels on them and they look like capsule buildings. But think about that tech in real life. Yeah, I know it's why would you might it's beyond mass effect level busted.
Starting point is 03:00:18 Like it's it's the most ridiculous bullshit ever. And it has it even like even in the in the movie that in the fucking Broly movie, it has its place and it's time and it's so handy. They made a time machine. Yeah. They made a fucking time machine. Ed Boone's meme in there with his man. I feel like shaggy tweets.
Starting point is 03:00:40 I feel like Future Trunks got the Rost and of every deal that has ever existed. Wasn't there an arc where he he got a good. Yeah, no, it was the Black Goku Black arc, but the whole point. Well, I'm trying to make and like, by the way, Plague of Grypes is a fantastic video on how bad time travel is in Dragon Ball. But the only point that I want to make is that Trunks went back in time to save his future only to come back and find that he can't change his future.
Starting point is 03:01:08 Because his future is always fucked. He can only go back and change and create a new different future. But when he goes back to his timeline, everyone's still fucking dead. And he kills the androids and sell. But they're dead. There, the name of the move is not changed. My future, it's changed. The yeah, whatever, he gets nothing.
Starting point is 03:01:31 He gets nothing. He gets nothing. He gets to be the messenger. He gets to be, you know, that's it. Yeah, your world is too late. You get to let us know. Thanks for the heads up, brah. And then and then later,
Starting point is 03:01:45 Goku Black shows up to like double ruin his future. It's not changed. It's not changed my future. It's changed the future. How did you feel about the Romero inspired new R2 commercial? Solus compared to the originals. Even though it was like 30 seconds. Yep, you see the originals?
Starting point is 03:02:04 I watched it now. There's more than one. No, no, I watched one 30 second commercial directed by Romero. So there are so there they've made reasonable to Romero kind of TV spot style commercials for the new release. They are a reference to the Japanese ads, which were in 98 directed by George Romero. Yeah, those ones are awesome.
Starting point is 03:02:29 These ones are weird and sterile. OK. Yeah, they're not good. The originals are the originals are better for this game even. OK. Do you want to get into it? No, like 30 seconds. Just go watch them.
Starting point is 03:02:48 Well, yeah. So in this one, there's Leon doing the thing in the RPD. And then Claire sees a zombie under the shutter runs away. And then they fucking meet up. They meet up and then they do the thing. So they're trying to go for a more realistic tone, but Leon closes the door and then the door immediately just opens and then that he shoots a zombie. And then Claire just zooms up next to him with a bad ass look on her face for no
Starting point is 03:03:14 reason, and it looks weird. Whereas at least the original was kind of campy. Well, the reason because it's meant to do this, because when I went to go watch it, I was like, oh, they both kind of end on the same note, which is look at your main characters. But I mean, I'm curious to know what you watch right now. Yeah, I literally have both. So it's way better.
Starting point is 03:03:37 So we have the old one that we just played and then they do the thing. The new one in 30 seconds just pretty much has a lot less time. Leon looks way goofy. Well, yeah, because it's fucking 98. But anyway, so establishing shot. He runs past the shot of him running zombies in jail. He looks he has a very fine ammo and then sees a door. Who's behind the door?
Starting point is 03:03:58 It's Claire and she's got her own gun. Tosses her shot gun and then the Zambos like that. We're doing it together. I like that much better. It's also more representative of the game. OK, I like the part where he's like, oh, fuck, I have no ammo because that's like a resonant evil game. OK, see.
Starting point is 03:04:17 It's like poach rhymes. OK, I was weirded out that they did live action ones because they put the look the game has. I feel like you could show cutscenes of that in an ad and it'd be. Yeah, but I mean, clearly they wanted to pay homage. Yeah, they did. They did. See, the problem is they needed to get the 1998's
Starting point is 03:04:44 George Romero to shoot that commercial. Well, I mean, good luck with that. Yeah, well. Yeah, busy with the call. There's a there's a zombie in this game that looks just like Bob from Day of the Dead. Like anywhere's like a overalls, it looks. I'm like, is that a day of the dead thing?
Starting point is 03:05:07 Probably. I'm surprised they didn't get. Fucking you're doing it, Michael Bay. No. That guy that did that other one, I know the guy, too. It did the other dawn of the dead. Zack Snyder. There it is.
Starting point is 03:05:26 You get it. You can get a Snyder up in there. No, but I was actually trying to think of walking dead. You were thinking of fucking Frank Darabont, not Darabont, but. Anyway, it's fine. Yes, now I actually need to know who you're talking about, because Frank Darabont is walking dead, man. Yes. So who the fuck are you talking about?
Starting point is 03:05:43 Showrunner that left Frank Darabont. Excuse me, then. Never mind. I thought anyway, Kirkman. That's the author. Robert Kirkman. That's the author of the books. Yes.
Starting point is 03:05:58 You've wanted the author of the Walking Dead comments to direct the. Yeah, yeah. Well, anyway, that's the name. The name I was thinking of was Kirkman. Yeah, that's what that's you were asking what I was thinking of. That is the. That's good. I like that. Use it. Use it.
Starting point is 03:06:16 Well, I would like that commercial shot in the style of Shawshank Redemption, please. OK. See, it's a little Frank Darabont joke there. I'm just a little Frank Darabont joke there for you. I'm just the directed Shawshank Redemption. I'm just going to stop saying things. You get it. I'm going to stop saying things.
Starting point is 03:06:33 That's good. That's fine. What do I know about zombies? I don't shoot him in the fucking face. I don't have opinions. Well, the problem is that you have valid opinions on zombies, but I'm completely obsessed with that literature. So it's like I'm like a dick about it. I'll try to be less of a dick.
Starting point is 03:06:54 You're thinking of Frank Darabont. That's so I thought the name, but then I was like, no, I'm going to get it wrong if I say that. You got shit. Can't do was Darabont. That's a whole fucking Kirkman train wreck of what happened to him on that show. A whole bunch of a whole bunch of a little blue that show is toxic. Hey, not just because of the Zambos.
Starting point is 03:07:16 Hey, so fuck this podcast. Speaking of speaking of. That. Yeah. Speaking of the undead got it, did it, nailed it. Metroid Prime four. Oh, man, is this weird, killed and resurrected. So it was weird, right?
Starting point is 03:07:48 This was the number one story of the week. Actually, we could have gotten to it sooner, but I had a nice Jiren. Yeah, that's totally fine. Metroid Prime, this was weird, but the the subsequent details that followed made it make more sense. This is as the story has gotten updated. Bizarrely forthright of Nintendo. Imran Khan, the only the only thing I want to say about that.
Starting point is 03:08:12 I kind of disagree with the way Nintendo handled it is it's very Japanese way of doing it. But like the the they had a head of development. I think it was a talk to us in the Nintendo Direct. Who was it? There was a gentleman. But he's development. Yeah, he's a completely Takahashi, completely white room. Talking about how Metroid Prime four is delayed
Starting point is 03:08:39 because they restarted development on it, right? Yeah. But like this guy's really, really nitpicky. The I feel like he's in the quietest room ever. Like it's the Nintendo Direct. Yeah, but forget room noise. Like I feel like the the candor of his talking is so like soft and close that I feel like I can hear his clothes rustling.
Starting point is 03:09:08 And it leads it to the it leads it to this very uncomfortable. I felt very uncomfortable listening to this. I felt like I was in a doctor's office. What the fuck are you talking about, man? Like it's it's too real. OK, too close, man. You're being really weird. Well, anyway, there's an announcement.
Starting point is 03:09:26 I like I can't be the only one who you're talking about details that I have no idea where you're coming from. The guy is just standing there telling you. Oh, I felt like he's standing too close. The poor man is standing there trying to tell us all that we've got to delay Metroid Prime four because we're scrapping what we had and we're restarting development. And effectively, you know, the reason why you haven't seen anything
Starting point is 03:09:51 is because we weren't happy with the quality of it so far. So that's really honest and straight up and that's cool. And it's it's rare that anyone would admit to it. Yeah, but it's also great. It also explains why you're going to continue to see radio silence. I can only think of one game ever that the devs came out and went shit sucked. We canned it. We're starting over.
Starting point is 03:10:15 And it's ironically enough, already to where they got to 70 percent completion and then said we threw the entire game out and we started over. And it was delayed for like a year. And this is shocking that because that's a lot of work that they probably tanked. Yes. So I mean, it's been about a year and a year and change a year and change a year and change since probably. But here's the thing about it, though, right?
Starting point is 03:10:47 So cue the awesome tweet that men put out of just a bunch of thumbnails of people grabbing their heads going canceled and tilting the Metroid logo all over the version of that game was absolutely canceled. Yeah. And everyone's like or delay. Oh, my God. And it's like, guess what? This is the best news you could have heard of outside of a trailer for the fucking thing. That's correct. Because this is we want it to be good. It doesn't need to just be good.
Starting point is 03:11:16 Also, it needs to be like fantastic. Yes. So like in the like Metroid, this can't just be a little bit better than Metroid Prime one, two and three. Yeah, it has to be in fucking credible, right? And it needs to make up for other M as well. This has to be a breath of the wild and Mario Odyssey. Oh, that's. Oh, geez. That's I didn't even think of that context.
Starting point is 03:11:42 That's a big fucking plate to understand. It has to be that to Metroid. Yes, it's a lot. It is a lot. So when you think about it from that point of view of like new era, switched Nintendo entries to their games, where this game takes over the industry and it's all people are talking about for a couple of months. Yeah. Everyone has to be talking about Metroid Prime four for a couple of months
Starting point is 03:12:08 when it comes out, if anyone and then when the DLC happens, if anyone from Retro listens to this podcast, can you guys write in to the email and tell us if me and Moto came in to yell at you guys again about the heads? Because that'd be really funny. Just it'd be funny if he came in to do it and then went, he's like, I'm going to remember, remember. And then they're all like, no, those people don't work here anymore.
Starting point is 03:12:35 Those people all died. We don't know anything about what you're talking about. And that's actually doesn't know what they're saying. So that's the part of the story that's actually that's really funny. So the story is that Metroid Prime four has gotten canceled and and and they're going to or not canceled scrapped and they're restarting work and they're handing it to retro studios, the people who made Metroid Prime one, two and three instead of who they had working on it before.
Starting point is 03:13:00 And that's that. So then my first question goes, well, they never really said who they had working on it. Yeah, they just kind of said, we're making it. So you're like, Nintendo is making it. But what does that actually mean? It could mean a lot of things. They have a shit ton of people that work in it. Exactly. So you're not sure exactly the punch out people for.
Starting point is 03:13:16 So you do a little bit of digging. And it seems like despite never really formally announcing it, what was happening was it was being developed by Bandai Namco, Singapore. Yeah, that's so they confirmed that in 2018 early on your game. I was able to confirm that. But that's the studio that was working on it, right? So that was not really put out there publicly. But that's where the all I can think of is why not have retro make it?
Starting point is 03:13:52 Well, because retro no longer had the former Metroid Prime team. Yeah, those people all left, right? So the interest again, the story when you dig a little bit is interesting because it's like, Retro still gets it back, which you kind of go. So wait, if the original team is gone, is this just a PR move? No, no, they're capable of doing it. But people that worked with the people who were there and who got taught and trained by those people are still, you know, so it.
Starting point is 03:14:18 Well, it turns out that like, like even though they are the same studio, but they don't have any of the former people that were involved, they met, Retro made a pitch and showed it to Nintendo and Nintendo went, OK, yeah, you guys like, yeah, yeah, that's hot. So they basically so Retro made a pitch with the new team to show. No, no, no, we can still do it. Yeah. And then they and then they got it. Our good pal Eli, OK, plague of gripes made a fantastic point on Twitter.
Starting point is 03:14:53 It was about Anthem that applies to this. And he suggested that when a certain part of your key development staff leaves the company, you should be legally mandated to put quotes around the name of your company on the game box. He was refer referencing Bioware presents Anthem, right? But people also pointed out that this would very much apply to Blizzard or now Retro. Retro would get maybe a single pair of air quotes, right? But Bioware, they're up to like five or six and Blizzard,
Starting point is 03:15:33 I don't even know who the fuck even works there anymore. Valve, you know, just like it's by Blizzard with your big old air quotes. Would you prefer that game studios were like movie studios where the name usually implies that there's one part like Koji Pro is the is here. And we see the name Koji Pro and that means Kojima is involved. I don't know. It's or games are fucking weird when you see trouble maker studios. You know, that's Robert Rodriguez. It's it's really, really fucking weird because with the movie studio, you get
Starting point is 03:16:08 here's the studio that's putting it. It's legendary, you know, and then the individual credits are individual. Then you get the director and sometimes you get the writer. Yeah. And you have the actors and you can feasibly ballpark it just from that, right? In Game Dev, you get the company and if you're lucky, you get the team and the team will tell you everything you need to know. Who what did they work on? What did that team make when it when Metal Gear was coming out?
Starting point is 03:16:37 You knew exactly what the it was the team that makes Metal Gear. That's that's what the fight when fighting games in Capcom come out. It's like, well, is it the Marvel guys or the Street Fighter guys? Or is it, you know, who's doing it? When you see the name Square Enix, what the fuck does that mean? Yeah. Is it is it the Final Fantasy team? What is the Final Fantasy team? Because Sakaguchi has been gone for a decade plus.
Starting point is 03:16:56 They move people around from project to project, depending on who needs. Well, in video games, it basically means we are the license holder. Yeah. OK. Yeah. At that point, you know, you're so broad scope. But it's one of those things that I actually like. I feel like Netherrealm fans are very lucky because, you know, who makes more combat, more combat. Ed Boon and the Ed Boon crew.
Starting point is 03:17:21 Well, it was Midway and then it became Netherrealm. Yeah. But I mean, the people who like make more combat. Yes. The fucking like, look at Rare. Yeah. Does anyone know that name? Who you think? Who you think? The name doesn't mean that name does. Yeah. Not like.
Starting point is 03:17:35 Yeah, that's that's a weird thing that only happens in games. And if it does happen in film, it doesn't happen big enough or often enough that I that we know about it. Like, think of a thing of fucking industrial light and magic. Yeah, you know industrial light and magic is. Wait, yeah. Yeah, yeah. But these people come in to do specific jobs, though, right? That's kind of like, like the equivalent of I.L.M.
Starting point is 03:17:57 or Weta would be unreal, you know what I mean? Yeah, be epic or it's not necessarily or that fucking that port company that people try and get to pretend doesn't exist. Uh, there's that Japanese company that's secret that makes all those license games and said and they slap the Namco name on it. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know who you're talking about. They made some Capcom games and said, yeah, Capcom totally made it.
Starting point is 03:18:24 Yes, yes, yes, yes. No, I know who you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, think of Street Fighter. Who's making it? Capcom, no, Dimps is making it. Yeah. Is that fine? I don't know. Yeah. Absolutely.
Starting point is 03:18:35 Turns out it was totally fine. It was fine. But right at the time. Yeah, Blue Point. There you go. Yeah. And, and, you know, there was a what was there? There was like, uh, yeah, there's other examples and we'll get into fucking porting companies because of some good news on that.
Starting point is 03:18:50 But then you'll get weird shit in video game industry. It's like, hey, it's the director of this with a completely new team. And you're like, wait, that feels like produced by Quentin Tarantino. Right. What I'm wondering is like if games because here's the things that like film is a big enough industry that like, you know, things are like the money you're dealing with in movies is not the same as the money you're dealing with in games.
Starting point is 03:19:14 And you're in a lot of cases like spending in video games is is hugely inflated for returns because of the technology costs and whatnot. It's mandatory to have a team that understands like the tech and that's capable going forward and whatnot. But if you were to kind of have things become like this writer is freelance because this is happening. They're like, not every not every company has this, but it's happening more often now where what's her name that that wrote
Starting point is 03:19:48 Mirror's Edge and Thief. And I forgot her name, but she's been writing a lot of different stuff. It's like the writer, Rhianna Pratchett, Rhianna Pratchett's coming in. She's doing the script and she is a not a part of this company or studio or whatever. She's uniquely writing this thing. And then a unique director is coming in or whatever the case is. Hey, we got Chris Avalon now come in and write a couple of characters for us. It is it is it is happening sometimes now, but it's still for the most part.
Starting point is 03:20:18 The studio will give you the writer. The studio will give you the director. The studio will give you the artist, the art director, the art team and so on and so forth. And you just work within its boundaries. It would be interesting if they kind of started doing things differently, where it was like a name in each of these positions coming together so that you could get these insane. Well, hey, listen, you don't want to have that happen,
Starting point is 03:20:41 because then you can't just lay people off whenever the fuck you want. Not if they have actual brand or name power. But also directors have a team of people they like working with. Like, yes, they do, you know, Suda's got Grasshopper and his boys. You know, this is the people I like. This is my team. We know what we're doing. What we do like we're good or for ill. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:21:05 I don't know that game director is like, even if Kojima like could be like, I'm an individual, hire me for you to work on whatever game. And I'll do my Kojima touch with your team or whatever. It would be like, what about the rest of Koji Pro? Yeah, it would be a little bit odd. And so you have to imagine that, like, when Jerry Bruckheimer gets involved with the production, you know, he's like, I'm bringing my boys. We got these people we've been working with for a long time.
Starting point is 03:21:31 They're all trusted. And then we've got our, you know, your crew that is more or less part of Lint of fucking Capcom, part of the reason. Part of the reason why the movie industry is the way it is versus the game industry is that almost everybody who works in the movie industry is Union. So they have job security and they have a name to attach to themselves. Whereas the team, like the biggest lament that I have, like about.
Starting point is 03:22:01 How do I put this? You know, when a game comes out and it's great and then you find out that the sequel is made by a weird pseudo team that has some members of the original and new and it's like, oh, why? Oh, it's because some of those people got let go and then people got rehired. That sucks. It would have been much nicer had they stayed on, but because layoffs are so common that like it just fucking happens.
Starting point is 03:22:28 You know that amazingly trashy guitar hero, a rock band story with Bobby Coddick that we always talk about? Hell, yeah. How I'm going to run this into the ground. How a guitar hero marketed itself as the original franchise, despite the fact that harmonics no longer had the name. Oh, man. And then Bobby Coddick did interviews where he's like, yeah, some other ripoff companies trying to imitate our brand, right? And guess and any investors on the outside that don't care to look
Starting point is 03:22:56 in more like, oh, yeah, how about that? Right. Who are these other guys coming up here? Should we be worried? And they're like, no, they're just some ripoffs. Right. That could never happen in movies. No. And that, I think, is kind of where my brain is kind of trying to go because I'm like, I'm trying to formulate this point and I'm having a hard time putting words to it.
Starting point is 03:23:17 But the idea of a studio change, but of a brand being handed off to a different studio and then competing against it in this particular way feels like that's a game exclusive, a game industry exclusive problem. Let me give you an example here, the reverse example. Three of them, in fact. The last story. That's more of a Final Fantasy game than some Final Fantasy games. Right.
Starting point is 03:23:43 Regardless of its brand association. Because of the people on it. Because the people who fucking made Final Fantasy, at least a couple of them, yeah, made that game. Right. Evil Within is a shitty Resident Evil game. And Evil Within, too, is a really good Resident Evil game. And those are more Resident Evil games than Resident Evil Gaiden is, or fucking gun survivor, despite the fact that they're not actually
Starting point is 03:24:05 Resident Evil games because they're made by a bunch of the people who made the thing. And you can fucking feel it. Yeah. Right. That's fucking weird. Yeah. Right. Yeah. That doesn't happen in movies. You don't see a fucking director lose the license to the Jason franchise and go, it's what was it, Basin Borges. Right. Slasher again. Yacht Club.
Starting point is 03:24:28 Right. Right. Just burst out of way forward. Yeah, we're doing our own thing in this, in this, in this particular way. Like, you don't, you don't see that happen in the same way. Because oftentimes it's individuals and then they have, you know, like they get the billing and then they bring a crew with them, I suppose. But like, take, for example, Dark Souls, right? Yeah. From Software is making a new Dark Souls game.
Starting point is 03:24:52 Shut up. I don't care who's making it. From Software. No. Who's making it. Yeah. What team? Yeah. There are like a couple you guys have. OK. Who's the. You remember how they're all weird and shit about who was making which ones? And then after Dark Souls two, they were like, Miyazaki's guys, it's the Miyazaki team they're making it is Miyazaki.
Starting point is 03:25:15 You know, he's the president, but he's also making the Dark Souls. You know what it is? It's a simple, it's the same question. Right. You go, they have announced a new movie in the blank franchise. And you go, cool, who's directing it? And then you have an answer and you go, Ridley Scott. And you go, OK. Right. There you go. They're making a new Souls game. Who's directing it?
Starting point is 03:25:36 And you can say Miyazaki, but there's a level of obfuscation that is the name from Soft in between that piece of information that will oftentimes be where the question stops. Who's making Smash Brothers Bandai Namco? Right. What? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. So there's a lot. But is it? But it's Sakurai, right?
Starting point is 03:25:57 Yes. What? There's a layer of noise in video games where the who's making it question. There's a fake answer, which is the studio. And then there's a real answer, which is the name of the people that are actually on. Yeah, it's it's like that's what it is. Like, depending on the size of the team, a group of 10 to 50 people.
Starting point is 03:26:17 Yeah, despite how big the team is, the key members, who's really, you know, and it is not to demean any particular programmer or any particular artist or any particular designer, but the people who hold the key positions are obviously going to have more influence. The head artist is going to have more influence than any other artist underneath them. It would not have been inaccurate a couple of years back
Starting point is 03:26:40 to come in to to work and be like, Capcom is making a new Devil May Cry. Yes. And it's like, yes, that is. It says Capcom on that. That's what's happening. That is what's occurring here. And you know, so anyway. Well, shit, think out confusing. It gets when I mean the story started on Nintendo. Sony is making a game.
Starting point is 03:27:03 That could mean fucking anything. Yeah, yeah. So then you go, what, which Sony? And then they go, Sony Santa Monica. And you go, oh, I know that one. But like, you know, so we got to get a move on. But we had a bunch of segue points. I'm going to branch off of the latter, the latter.
Starting point is 03:27:24 I'll just hit it, whatever. And say that speaking of Miyazaki. Yeah. Oh, man. He did a little interview and it was it was just basically him talking about what he would be, what he would think of a Demon's Souls remaster. That'd be cool, right? And, you know, he kind of says, yeah, it's it's kind of embarrassing to look back at your old work.
Starting point is 03:27:49 And ultimately, he doesn't like doing that. He says that he's not close to the idea of remastering Demon's Souls, but he wouldn't want to do it himself. He would want it to be done by an amazing studio. Honestly, I think pretty much everybody would be happy to just deport to modern consoles. But he wouldn't. Oh, yeah. You know, he's embarrassed by it, looking back at it.
Starting point is 03:28:11 I don't know, that game's fucked up and weird and I like it. So, yeah, it is a weird it is a weird case of like, I don't want to touch this. I don't want to do it. I've got weird hang ups about where this game is at, despite everyone's fond memories of it. Yeah, that I would I would understand the From Software gang like looking back on any shipped project they've made
Starting point is 03:28:38 and being like having weird because like those games are shipped like unbelievably unfinished in terms of the stuff that was planned to be in them. They are way overly ambitious. Like think of the cut Bloodborne bosses that people have found, right? If I was working on that, I look at it like, oh, we never got that fucking snake ball guy working. So, yeah, he is as long as they hand it to a capable studio.
Starting point is 03:29:06 He's he'll be on board, but he would not want it to just be an up port. Well, HD, the problem is that we have this issue in which Blue Point can only employ so many people at once and everyone wants them. Hmm. What are they working on now? I don't know. I probably want it. Well, someone with tons of experience
Starting point is 03:29:34 in that realm, yeah, has decided to throw his hat in the ring. What's that? Oh, yes, specifically the Dark Souls modding realm. Mr. fucking Durante himself has opened up his own PC port studio. Now, Durante is responsible for the ultra famous DS fix that fixed the original prepare to die port of Dark Souls. He should not only be known for that. He also fixed deadly premonition on the PC
Starting point is 03:30:03 and then went on to do stuff for Trails of Cold Steel. Yep. So the man knows his stuff. He's quite talented at doing this thing. So he's like, why don't I make a fucking business out of it? Reminds me of a Christian Whitehead type situation. Yeah. You know, well, he's already doing the work. I'm doing it for fun on a professional level.
Starting point is 03:30:27 So, you know, like, I feel like a lot of particularly now a lot of people are going to be like, especially the remastered version. So DS fix is kind of falling out of importance. Sorry. Sorry, microphone. But like it can't be overstated how insane it was that DS fix came out the day of the PC ports release because he had done like weeks of prep, assuming it was going to be bad.
Starting point is 03:30:51 That's amazing. That's amazing. What a fucking cool champ. Wow. Holy shit. That's really impressive. Yes, this person should in anticipation. Yes, it was out the day of, man. Holy shit. Yeah. So, yeah, Peter Durante.
Starting point is 03:31:12 People didn't have time to get off like that's how fast. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was already out. It was already out. What a beast. He's been fixing a lot of PC ports for various people in games, all for the funsies, but now for the monies. Yes. His studio is called PH3 and he's basically said,
Starting point is 03:31:36 we just got through the bureaucratic IDs and blah, blah, blah. So it's now a business official and they're going to be doing ports. So if you want the DX, the DS fix treatment for your game and if you want to not just do an embarrassing shoddy last minute afterthought port, just get Durante on the case. Yep, and he can do it. I am.
Starting point is 03:32:02 OK, this is how fascinating I find this man's work. I'm probably going to buy the next game that his studio puts out or like that his studio ports, no matter what it is, because I want to see what he does. Yeah, like I want to see how it feels and what options are like that. Like that's how fascinated I am with this person's work in this field. PC is interesting because there's always the options menu will never be the same over the course of years.
Starting point is 03:32:35 All right, like like PC games are like, you know, back in the day, options menus on an old console game would be audio, stereo or manual. Subtitles, if you're lucky. And then difficulty and then controls controls. And that might be just a look at them. And then we're gone, we're done, you know. And yeah, PC games obviously have like come fucking from all the way there to pages upon pages like there are so many things you can do in a PC port
Starting point is 03:33:10 that would make it like good or bad. Resident Evil 2 has something really awesome where it shows you exactly how it shows you graphics load and memory load and processor load as you turn each option on or off. It shows you how much juice it's using. And it will tell you you're probably using too much juice. Yeah. In addition, it has a picture on the screen that shows you what the fuck the option you're turning on does.
Starting point is 03:33:39 Turn off volumetric lighting. It'll show you a scene from the game without volumetric light. But that's the top shelf. Most games don't have that. So I liken it to probably being like a car where you can just go, how much of the hood do you want access to? You know, and that is up to the developer. Do you want to be able to adjust your carburetor yourself?
Starting point is 03:34:01 Do you know what I'm saying to you? You know, if the answer is no, that's fine. Right. We'll hide this in the advanced options. Don't worry about it, right? You can deal with the dashboard and drive that recommended button, right? And then there's the no, I want to open up the hood and go in there. I want to replace, right? And then there's the going under the under the hood isn't good enough.
Starting point is 03:34:24 Get this motherfucker up on a jack boot. I'm going underneath. I'm sliding underneath the fucker. And that's another level in like, yeah, you know, so in this analogy, I would say the engine is the advanced options config and any graphics. And the the fucking jack it up and go underneath is like, where does this game hide its config file? It's it's I and I's. Yeah, where is this fucking?
Starting point is 03:34:48 Yeah, where's Skyrim Prefs dot any? When you're scrolling, when you're fucking right, clicking on I and I files, you're going into my documents and you're like, where is this shit? Drag that shit into a note plaid plus plus that I can force this thing to fucking do max LOD at all ranges. Start changing ones to zeros or vice versa. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I hear you. I hear you.
Starting point is 03:35:14 Uh, fucking Durante, good gaming is fucking stupid. Just like you load it up and it looks great. And you're like, oh, but that thing. Oh, I bet I could. No, that's you. No, that's hold on. No, hold on. No, that is not unique to me. Hold on. That is not unique to me. Yes, I am crazy, but there are many of us out there.
Starting point is 03:35:37 Oh, God, you know what it comes from, right? Mm hmm. I didn't spend two thousand dollars on this video card for this, you know, for this to look for this to happen. Anything less than perfect. Right, right, right, right, right, right. Yeah, OK, it's a it's a it's a combination of like neuroticism and buyer's remorse.
Starting point is 03:35:57 I get that. I get that the fucking the price is high. I didn't spend five times the cost of a console for this to look like a fucking console game. Right, right. Yeah, OK. Well, with that, we did Durante. We did that.
Starting point is 03:36:21 We did from soft. You got anthem in there. No, I know the demo came out and I know that there's apparently what there's there's codes. So no, the thing about anthem is that it got servers were full. So the servers were full. It's a pretty common issue with an online game that the game comes out. Oh, it's fucky. Yeah, right.
Starting point is 03:36:43 Shit's all broken. Shit's crashing. Yes. What was fascinating is that then origin went down entirely. And that killed a eSports tournament, I think that was based off FIFA that was happening at the time. And it was then discovered people thought origin was fucking up, thus bringing down anthem. Turns out it was the opposite.
Starting point is 03:37:06 So when anthem fails to connect to the server, it floods the server with login attempts is essentially causing a one man DDoS. So every person trying to log in ended up DDoSing origin. Because Anthem's net code is built to DDoS itself. What? Well, I don't. OK, that's not an I didn't catch that at all.
Starting point is 03:37:36 Holy shit. Yeah, that sucks. It's a guy doing packet sniffing and I found out like when you try and log in and it can't log in, it just tries to log in over and over and over and over and over and over in like a second. Oh, my God. And then your spams and everyone's and that also attaches to the origin. Log in. Oh, yeah. And like they brought origin down with that.
Starting point is 03:38:00 And everyone in the world is like, this is an online game similar to Destiny or Warframe. This is dire. The online infrastructure of your online game is something that is very important. And this seems like the kind of mistake that would have shown up like on the page or on design, let alone within scale tasks.
Starting point is 03:38:24 I literally was the person responsible for running room wide tests where everyone was on that login screen and then you hit the button. Yeah, the whole thing down and see what happens. This should have shown up. That's wacky that that didn't happen. And here's the thing. Extensive network testing makes the number go high.
Starting point is 03:38:48 Oh, yeah. I talked about this before. The money goes fucking high. Oh, yeah, you got to get a lot of people. You got to get them to a lot of places at the same time. And then you got to get the network guy hanging in there, doing various versions of ups and downs. Yeah, it takes a lot. However, when you don't do it,
Starting point is 03:39:05 the cost is nightmarish on the back end. If you fuck up, yeah, do it, do it, do it now. Pay now or pay later or do it twice as big later. Pay now or pay later. Yeah, you know, how much you want to pay the cost of making your online game. So so that is really, really wacky that this happened. But it seems like it would have been an opportunity to cut corners and possibly save some money and that didn't happen.
Starting point is 03:39:30 So now you got to pay more. So this is the bummer, right? Yikes. Anthem looks fine. Like people are playing it. It doesn't look bad at all. It looks promising even, right? And they've talked. It's not they're not going to have any all the maps
Starting point is 03:39:46 and expansion stuff is all going to be free. And you're going to buy cosmetics. It's basically going on Warframe's business model, except you buy you buy the desk. So I wasn't crazy for thinking, yeah, I want to Iron Man a little bit. No, you weren't. Turns out, well, that trailer they showed up was absolutely the fakest shit in the world, for sure. But it looks fine. But I felt so attacked last time it came up.
Starting point is 03:40:08 I didn't even know what to fucking do. Well, it was mainly because it was like the thing they had shown was fake. OK. And like looking at it now, it's even more clear that it was fake. But like if like you've used origin, do you remember trying to get into Titanfall 2 and origin would sometimes just tell you no for no reason? Yeah. This game neat, like. You the online infrastructure is like the actual most important thing.
Starting point is 03:40:36 It's the whole thing. Yeah. Right. And if it if it if it don't work, then the no game, it's dire to have this problem. That's bad to have. Um, yeah. I I I haven't again, like I think. How long is the is the VIP demo access? It's done. It's got. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:41:03 It was yesterday. Oh, it was the weekend. Damn, because I think someone was like, you know, I got a code if you want to look at it. Yeah. And I didn't because I was busy, but I wanted to. OK, well, whatever, we'll wait. There's going to be a public demo. On the first week of February, which is days away. Yeah, it's I think it's February 3rd.
Starting point is 03:41:26 OK. I think probably that weekend. Well, that's a weird one. So, yeah, that happened. And that's Yikes always test your network shit on a network based centered game, guys. But that's, you know, who am I? I don't know. QA. What? Anyways, I'm sure someone internally told them.
Starting point is 03:41:53 I'm so, you know, what's even crazier to me? Bioware, regardless, the fact that it is not Bioware Austin, but Bioware, regardless, within that parent company, they have a studio that made an MMO. So there should be people that worked on that MMO. They could tap for that, right? Mm-hmm. And be like, hey, can you come in for a week and look at it
Starting point is 03:42:17 to see if it suck? Mm-hmm. And they didn't or maybe they did. And I don't know. You have the people somewhere. You have access to people who know how to run an MMO. Yeah. That works. I've never heard anything horrific about like Star Wars.
Starting point is 03:42:31 That's the other thing, though, is when you have you also have outsourcing where you literally have third-party QA companies that do this for you. Well. You send them your code and they go, here's a build. How many people can you do a network test on how much stress can you get on the system? And back when I said I did testing for like a dirt,
Starting point is 03:42:54 for example, like the Codemaster stuff, it was like, yeah, that was like a very brief period of a massive network test where we get like 100 people in a room and just fucking go for it. Yeah. And that's what we are. We're a room full of people coming in at six in the morning to try out the net to try break this fucking network. Break this fucking network code.
Starting point is 03:43:13 Yeah. Break, you know, so. Hey, look, it broke. We didn't even have to do anything. Speaking of broken. You want to reset that clock for me? Can you reach over and can you reach over and reset it? I reset it. Thanks. So what news is it this week?
Starting point is 03:43:30 Oh, yeah, this thing. Fallout 76 is getting PvE content in March alongside PVP survival mode. So they talked about the survival mode and what it entails. And everyone and their mom discovered that there are massive design issues with it that make it sound like an actual nightmare. The number one design problem with their PVP mode
Starting point is 03:43:54 is that it's survival. So, you know, it's like kind of like permadeath. Yep. But when you get killed, you'll respawn at Vault 76 to start again. And everyone went, you're going to respawn every dead player in the map in the same location, a location that other players can reach. Are you actually for real?
Starting point is 03:44:19 And there has been no comment on that. That like what? You can't do that. It will be a nightmare. It will be a slaughtering pen, especially it's a vault. That's a doorway to walk out of. So it seems like they've been jumping on Reddit to try and talk down the storm a little bit.
Starting point is 03:44:46 And apparently there is going to be this March content drop that is going to address some concerns, but. Details are still being worked on. I think it's I think I can't think of many times when a company is like, we're going to release a content thing. And the universal response is that sounds fucking dumb. But this game is a unique game
Starting point is 03:45:16 in which even the people who play it kind of look to dog on it. Yeah, well, we're now hitting. We're definitely like I said, I said it right before we started, but we're now hitting the point where like everyone is like everyone's like a sneezing or coughing and be like, did the clock reset? You know what I mean? Like, like did someone fart somewhere and did that fart wind blow into a gust that reset the clock?
Starting point is 03:45:37 Did that fart cost two hundred and seventy six dollars? Well, I. Boy, we got a two for we got a two for, I suppose. But two hundred and seventy six dollars is the cost of the fallout seventy six leather jacket that has been apparently. It looks bad, dude. Not getting the greatest reviews.
Starting point is 03:46:04 It looks bad, dude. Not getting the greatest reviews on the tweet. It looks like those IKEA bags made out of tarp. I mean, like it's like. Like there's one thing where like the bag was like, you saw one thing. You got another. Yeah. In this case, you saw what you got. It ain't fantastic.
Starting point is 03:46:29 Is that a clock reset? I don't know. See, normally this wouldn't be like that big of a deal, except the price is set so high specifically as like a tie into the game to have the same number. There's a three hundred dollar fucking leather jacket that looks like dog shit. I mean, it looks like the new rum shit again. Right. Or they just like, hey, look, those those rums are like 80 bucks, man.
Starting point is 03:46:58 Yeah, dog shit. They're terrible. So there are tweets that we're coming at where people were literally showing pictures of blue tarp and plastic bags and plastic bags. And it was like, oh, dear. Oh, no. It's also ugly as shit. But is it not that? Is that not the shade of blue that is accurate? I don't think they should have made a fucking fallout leather jacket.
Starting point is 03:47:23 Like you would have to to make it look not that bright and garish. You'd have to make it like dark blue. It's supposed to be a fucking dick ass jumpsuit. Yeah. So you have to make it like an idiot. You'd have to make it like a dark blue that is not accurate in order to make it like something people would want to let's. Hey, let's be clear. Bethesda is very concerned with the accuracy of the fallout franchise
Starting point is 03:47:47 when it comes to merchandise. Fair, very concerned point. Um, yeah, I also saw an isolated case of one of the fucking collector's additions, like the brother of brother of brotherhood of steel helmet gave this girlfriend bought it for a boyfriend like, hey, and she tried it on as a goof. And it had some kind of horrible allergic reaction to the plastic. Yikes.
Starting point is 03:48:17 Now, that's a one off case and may in fact just be a freak allergic reaction. But it's still like, I hope she feels much better now, but it's still like darkly humorous because I'm waiting for the fallout seventy six item that poisons people. Again, we're not there yet, but this clock has a reset button. And I legitimately think that there will be a fallout. Seventy six piece of news that will have human injury involved in it. What I'm actually waiting for is the week that we read the story
Starting point is 03:48:50 and then we are interrupted mid story with the new story. That can actually happen. That is a. Oh, I. Oh, that is feasible. A a long time watcher of the show got in contact with me in Australia, in fact, about who had worked in the games business, who had worked in. I think he worked at the E.B. Games and could describe like what was going on with the recall of the fallout seventy six things. It doesn't mean the games going free to play.
Starting point is 03:49:20 It means the game is being returned too often. Oh, to be sold at a profit. So then send them back. Huh. So like if the game is returned. Yeah. And because if you return a game, you can sell it used. Right. Yes, but we can't sell it. If the used copies don't sell either, exactly. Then then it's actually worthless because we're we're spending money.
Starting point is 03:49:47 Yeah, because margins on new games are really low. Like even no matter how low it is, you can always end up burning through money, buying it. So send them back. OK, got it. Got it. Got it. Which is its own kind of sad little that's that's you know what? That's an interesting fucking downside to your resell business model. Oh, yeah. That can happen is you can have a game that can bomb twice in your store. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:50:12 But at that point, usually they just go, we're not buying copies of this game anymore. Yeah, except it's a big ass game. So they probably bought a shit ton. Right. It's like like a like a Madden game or something where they go, no, fuck no sports games. Yeah, like this is one they actually didn't expect that to happen. And this may, in fact, lead to a Fallout 76 landfill in the bush.
Starting point is 03:50:34 And in a bunker, perhaps. Listen, if you if you drive a truck and somebody tells you to dump a bunch of Fallout 76 copies in the middle of the Australian bush, you you write us because I want to see pictures of that fucking death trap. Let's take some emails, some emails, some emails. Hey, if you want to send some memes to Castle Superbeast, you can send those to at woolly wools on Twitter. I believe that's at woolly versus as well.
Starting point is 03:51:08 So what's your Twitter? Send him memes. He loves them. It's what he loves them so much. But if you want to send some questions or comments, possibly corrections to this podcast, you can send that to Castle Superbeast Mail at gmail.com. That's Castle Superbeast Mail at gmail.com. After you send me your memes, be sure to send your angry persona rants over to Pat. That's fine. That's angry as Pat on Twitter, woolly,
Starting point is 03:51:37 like you need to tell them. Let's angry as Pat on Twitter, like you need to tell them. Yeah, very, very crucial. That's where those go. Yeah, we got a couple. Oh, by the way, I'm just joking. Send me the memes. I love them. We got one coming in from
Starting point is 03:51:59 Kyle, he says, their woolly Kennedy and Pat Redfield. After playing that remake, I was surprised to see several references to the outbreak series, including the Bullhorn announcement to evacuate the station. Leonon Claire here while driving through the city. So a several mentions of Officer Rita Phillips. Yep, I was wondering if there were any more interesting Easter eggs, you guys, specifically Pat being resident evil guy. Notice while playing the game, if that's to narrow a question,
Starting point is 03:52:26 what's a shout out a game has given to what you would consider an obscure or lesser known piece of media that you would like to give attention to? Thanks for reading and all the best, Kyle. The number one connection to outbreak is the fact that the new hidden passage underneath the main lobby statue that leads to the parking lot is the one from outbreak that Rita Phillips calls into to get a truck so you guys can escape in that outbreak scenario.
Starting point is 03:52:54 It was a cool addition to the police station, and I'm glad they included it. OK, I want to give a very specific shout out to Strider 2014. All right, because in Strider 2014, there are collectibles. Did that game actually come out five fucking years ago? I guess so. Jesus Christ. Strider 2014 had collectibles that are fallen striders. OK, there are 11 fallen striders that were sent in to defeat Grand Master Mayo. That's cool before you. Yeah.
Starting point is 03:53:29 And they all failed. Yeah. You find their gear and their equipment as you go through the game. Each time you find them, it's a different color scheme of their Strider outfit as well. OK. And all 11, which are named characters besides obvious ones like Strider Hien, who was literally a character that you fought in Strider to. All the others are references to Capcom Ninjas.
Starting point is 03:53:59 Awesome. Just great. The color configurations that you pick up include all kinds of fun stuff. And if you go back over them, you can see like Strider. Yeah, I actually pulled up a list here like Strider. Hoenn is the elf from Dungeons and Dragons on the Capcom games. Roga is Hayato from Star Gladiator. Ibuki from Street Fighter.
Starting point is 03:54:23 Kenji from Red Earth. Guy from Final Fight. Like there's one for for Rad Spencer. There's one for not a ninja. He's not a ninja now. There's one for for Lin Kurosawa. There's and there's one for like Classic Hero U as well. So like a lot of those costumes are just like references to a bunch of the the like other Capcom Ninjas and characters.
Starting point is 03:54:50 And that's genuinely pretty cool. So that's super rad. And they also have like tons of like fun little lore implications. So I like that one. And that's obscure diggin. That's obscure shit in an already obscure thing. Being double obscure. I think the the most obscure shout out I can think of is actually
Starting point is 03:55:06 also Resident Evil related is in Ari Seven, you can find a news article in a magazine written about the Raccoon City outbreak written by I forget her name right now. I remember if I saw it, but the journalist character from Ari outbreak, which means that at least one character from Ari outbreak survived after the story. OK, yeah, which is weird because canonically only the four people got out of Raccoon City plus Carlos and Jill, but whatever the outbreak survivors got out to.
Starting point is 03:55:47 Alissa, that was her name. We got one coming in from NEP war. He says, dear Super Beast, Super Beast, all the way up northeast. Yo, I remembered how Ubisoft fucked up Tetris on PS4. And I thought to ask, how could you fuck up? How could you fuck up when I look at a piece of media like that? I really wonder how could you fuck this up? Is there any others that you guys think of that are like, I guess, in that vein?
Starting point is 03:56:17 Slam dunks. How do you fuck it up? Hyper fighting was fucked up when it came out. Hyper fighting was great. You mean super? No, I mean, I mean, hyper fighting. I love hyper fighting. No, when it came out on Xbox Live. Oh, OK, it was fucked up.
Starting point is 03:56:34 Original like they had the sound effects that were so off that even people who were not fighting game fans were like, this feels wrong. One that comes to mind for me is Turtles in Time, three sixty. Oh, yeah. It was such a slam. Like, how do you fuck that up? You know, you even traced over the fucking original game and with the with the that I remember that trailer literally
Starting point is 03:57:01 switching back and forth between the two and somehow it was just wonk and awful. That was a really bad one. Sparkster. I was just thinking. I was just thinking of the new fucking Rocket Knights. Yeah, Sparkster. Yeah. Of like the instant mean I think we saw the trailer to E3. The instant we saw it, we both went, oh, like you can tell right away. Yeah, that it was garbage.
Starting point is 03:57:28 Fucking DMC, too. I guess. Well, I'm not to be honest, they didn't know what they had. It was the second time out. They didn't know where they were going with it. I'm willing to take that. I it's not I'm not that surprised by that. I'm not that surprised because they didn't know what they had. It was great until it was after the fact.
Starting point is 03:57:45 You want to sort of fall out several districts? I'm going to begrudgingly say, Nidhogg really. But it's not. But it is. But it's not. Yeah, I know, I know. It's just one thing. And it's like, I know. But that one thing was enough for people to suddenly stop talking about it and playing. Oh, man.
Starting point is 03:58:05 You know what game? It was like, how you fuck this up so bad? FF seven for the PC back in like 96. Oh, yeah, I heard about that. That thing was the fucking worst. That was back when you could return PC games, by the way. And I had never even heard of a game that got returned more. Nobody's computer could run it.
Starting point is 03:58:29 That port sucked. That was supposed to be the big in on like Japanese games on the PC. Wrestler X says their Lord's Assault after Pat talking about the Empire. You know, at 14, you know, and the devs making a drastic story change measures for everyone to be to hate them. It made me wonder, do you have any bad guys in video games or others, mediums that you've thought I wish I could be on their side instead? For me, Sele was right.
Starting point is 03:58:59 Human instrumentality is the best thing for humanity. All right. Well, you sound like a psycho. That's enjoy, enjoy your goop. I don't I very rarely sympathize with the villains motivations enough to the point where I'm like, yeah, I want to join their team. But there are a couple villains where I have this feeling where it's like, you're not wrong, like I'm obviously opposed to you. Yeah. But I can you have real you have a really good reason
Starting point is 03:59:29 to the point where I would not even attempt to argue with the person. Yeah. That's that's I put. I put millions, knives in that category if he had more time to talk in the show. Of course, in both cases, he ends up being more or less psycho. But the core motivator is like, I get it. I understand. Million, you know, Vash's brother is like, yeah, he's got his reasons. And the core of it is like, yeah, I think a lot of people in that situation
Starting point is 04:00:00 would kind of hate the same the same thing. So there's that, like, obviously, you can fucking you can for if you want to get memes out, you can go XCOM walls, but like you think about it, it's like. Solidest snake. Is so evil, but he was also actually correct about the problem. Yes, yes, yes, yes, like his methods are so outrageous. Yes, but he's dealing with a problem that you don't even know about. Yes. And oh, wow, it's actually a big fucking problem.
Starting point is 04:00:43 George Sears is like, I was holding them back. Yeah, a little bit. Yes. Yes, true. And it's like there are millions and millions of lives lost as a result of everything to do with the Patriots. Yeah. And so, yes, George, you are a complete psychopath and love child soldiers and all that shit.
Starting point is 04:01:01 You should not be running this country. However, but I do see now that you were trying to do a thing. You as the last human being. Yeah, that is the president versus whatever the fuck that is. Yeah, fair enough. I think there's probably a couple others out there, but he's he's pretty solid. I always like talking about I always like talking about about funny Valentine. Yeah, because that's fun stuff.
Starting point is 04:01:33 But yeah, there you go. That's that's what I would say. If I I will keep that question in mind. And if I run into one in the near future, I will try and make it known because that is a very interesting thing in fiction. It is. It is. And it doesn't happen often.
Starting point is 04:01:52 But when it does, it is rad. Like I there was a shit. This sucks because there was a there was a character in a game that I played with in the past couple months in which I remember feeling is this person even bad? Mm hmm. Mm hmm. Like is this? Oh, I have one, which are two.
Starting point is 04:02:12 Okay. The primary antagonist of which are two. You hit a point in which you go, do I even disagree with this person at all? Mm hmm. And you can decide to not have the final boss fight and instead have a sit down conversation for about 10 minutes and then just leave. Oh, cool.
Starting point is 04:02:31 Okay. Like the character sitting there going so we can have a boss fight and you go, you know what, I'm not feeling it. Cool. And you just leave. Yeah. Yeah. Char.
Starting point is 04:02:41 No, Char's nuts. Hmm. No. Earth is the problem. Hmm. Hmm. I don't want to hear that. Okay.
Starting point is 04:02:52 Uh, Char up. Char's dad was nuts too, buddy. Char up until a point. Yeah, exactly. See? That's the problem. Char up until a point. Yeah.
Starting point is 04:03:04 He was totally like, you had me and then in your counter attack, you went a little too far. You went a little too far. Well, it's like, I want to, I want to make a distinction because there are two types of opposing force in a hero's journey. There's the antagonist and there's the villain. And they're not necessarily the same person. Hmm.
Starting point is 04:03:26 Antagonist just means that it is the person who changes the status quo that causes the vents or the person who's in opposition to the hero. Hmm. The villain's the fucking dirtbag that's got to go. So oftentimes you have the villain and your antagonist is like the number two. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Starting point is 04:03:43 And in many cases, the antagonists will die doing something to help you or something along those lines before. Like, you know, Golbez is your antagonist and you think he's the villain. But no, it turns out it was Zeromis, the whatever monster. Um, Zant. Yeah. You know. Yeah.
Starting point is 04:04:03 Man, Zant really dropped the ball, huh? That helmet was cool. It was really cool. That helmet was super cool. Boy, that character was really cool. Man, right up until that fucking second. Super cool helmet. They might as well have dubbed in a fucking record scratch.
Starting point is 04:04:18 What a rad helmet. Boy. Loving that helmet. Very evil. Uh, good threats. We got one coming in. Jason says, DJ Mothman and Professor Bigfoot, don't worry about it. It's a reference.
Starting point is 04:04:31 Jason here wanted to ask y'all what's your favorite creative threat from a story to give you an example. Here's my pick from Power Rangers SPD. Okay. Uh, one of the show, one of the side characters is a show that's an alien and called Piggy. He's a garbage gremlin who runs a restaurant that serves trash. The Rangers, uh, sometimes use him as an informant and a source of off-world technology.
Starting point is 04:04:54 And, uh, there's one episode where they're looking for an escaped criminal. They want to know if there's anything about him in the grapevine. Uh, so they go to Piggy's restaurant. He climbs up and he says he ain't telling them anything. So Blue leans in real close and says, okay, then he, I'm going to ask, then he asks for a round of drinks and some appetizers because they're all going to sit at the big corner table and try to work on the case. And then they don't make any progress.
Starting point is 04:05:16 They'll come back for dinner and they end up loving the restaurant so much they'll bring the whole station in and have Rangers in every seat. Yeah. So faced with the prospect of them turning the place into a cop bar, Piggy caves and pretty much tells them everything as soon as Blue's done talking. And he tells them to check the docks. So it's a threat, but it's a good threat. I like, it's not a threat to a character, it's a threat about a character
Starting point is 04:05:39 from, uh, Alan Rickman in Robin Hood. He says, ooh, that Robin Hood, I'll carve his heart out with a spoon. And his fucking stupid number two guy goes, why would you use a spoon? Would you use a knife? He goes, cause it would hurt more, idiot. That's the point. Right. He's with a spoon.
Starting point is 04:06:06 I just love Alan Rickman's fucking delivery honestly. He's so annoyed that his, his sick burn to no one went unrewarded. And last but not least, Benoit says, hey, Super Beast, something has been trotting in my head for a bit. When does passion turn into cringe? When does that Undertale fan theory turn into an Undertale universe fanfic? When does the cosplay masquerade turn into Kingdom Hearts parking lot? When does video analysis on a game turn into filming yourself doing skits?
Starting point is 04:06:42 Why exactly do smutty VN fans want you guys to like fate so much? Is the source of cringe just wanting to show off your passion so much that you're willing to look like a weirdo? Stay cool under those 50 feet of snow. So that is the exact moment. It's the lack of self perspective. Right. It's the instant that your appreciation for something goes beyond your appreciable
Starting point is 04:07:07 and understandable level of societal self-respect. Perhaps when you are lacking in, like, yeah, there's a feeling sometimes of like when you're, you're pushing something and then how the person's being receptive to it, right? And if someone is either clueless, but curious, somewhat enthused or very, very inviting to be like, yeah, I want to know more, then that's a cue for you to press on. When they're not and you continue to press on regardless of the cues you're getting, it means that you don't, you're not noticing that the person might not necessarily be interested in the subject matter, but that doesn't matter to you because getting it out of your system is the most important thing.
Starting point is 04:07:50 So let's take, for example, Kingdom Hearts parking lot as it is. I'm going to assume everyone listening to this podcast is familiar. If not, go right ahead and you go on and YouTube Kingdom Hearts parking lot. So, man, friend of mine showed me a video of her showing that to someone for the first time recently. Oh, man. Who's a big Kingdom Hearts fan that never knew. Oh, man. Like you can hear the pain.
Starting point is 04:08:12 Oh, that's so good. It's great. It's great. So take this video, right? Everybody in that very, very seriously in the Kingdom Hearts, right? Yeah. To the point where they would say, hey, you know, people are laughing at you about this, right? And they go, I don't care. I love Kingdom Hearts so much.
Starting point is 04:08:28 One, maybe you should care just a little, just a little. Don't change your perspective or the way you act in the world, but be aware that people can see you right now, right? And two, the context of that entire thing would completely change. It would not be famous as it were. If right at the end, they went, did you get that? And he went, yeah, I got that. And they started chuckling because they had been silly.
Starting point is 04:08:55 Yes. Right? Yes. Yes. So it's not just a lack of perspective. But that requires an awareness that you can't pop. But that's my point. That's the perspective, right?
Starting point is 04:09:05 Yeah. Yeah. If you were acting like a silly jackass, that's fine. But when you don't know that you're acting like a silly jackass, and in fact, take a front to the idea that people seeing you know that you're being a silly jackass, that's the line, right? I stew and say stupid, embarrassing shit every day because I think it's funny to laugh at me.
Starting point is 04:09:38 Right. I would not offer myself up for a punch line if I did not get a crack out of it. So even if something I do is really embarrassing, it can only be so genuinely cringe, right? I think there's an age where you just don't have the ability to avoid cringe. You're going to do it. And whatever your thing is, whether it's Kingdom Hearts,
Starting point is 04:10:02 or Foam Adventure, or Undertale, or The Puppet Show. That's the worst one. I've never gotten more than like a minute through Foam Adventure. For Frodo at your test exams, like you're going to have... Oh! Oh, you watched so many. Well, I mean, I recognize a little bit of what you're saying. But like you have them all locked in.
Starting point is 04:10:26 You have... You don't... It's going to happen to you, especially if you're the kind of person that is... You are... There's a level of... I don't want to say disconnect. But you have to not be someone who has had much value in reading the room. Right?
Starting point is 04:10:48 In your life. If you're someone that has basically been like... I don't... I've not been in a ton of situations where people kind of feeling like weirdly about what I'm saying or doing, or me like raising my voice and quoting something that nobody else is going to get right now. Like, if you've been in a lot of situations where that doesn't matter, then you're just a ticking time bomb. There's a...
Starting point is 04:11:11 There is both a talent and a skill to reading the room. It's learned... Some people have it more naturally. Other people learn it, right? Like one of the things that I like to do when I meet a big group of new people, I immediately do something bad. Sure. This pushes the button a little.
Starting point is 04:11:26 Sure. And then I get to see how everyone around takes it. And if everyone around takes it bad, I'm going to fucking dial it back. But if everyone takes it well, let's just push the nudge it a little more. Let's just nudge it a little more. Are you telling me that's deliberate?
Starting point is 04:11:42 Of course it is. Oh my god. Of course it's deliberate. I didn't know that was a deliberate button push. Of course. Well, that explains a lot. It explains tons of things. Okay.
Starting point is 04:11:51 Interesting. Because I immediately have the reaction. Okay. Well, there you go. No. So you meet somebody and you talk to them for a couple of minutes and you get a reading on their base. And then you go,
Starting point is 04:12:07 what if I nudge it a little? And if you nudge it a little and it's like, uh-uh, you retreat back to, hello Mrs. Madden, how are you? Yeah. You know, most people just don't even want to play with that fire. Let's just stay in the nice zone. But it's fun.
Starting point is 04:12:23 Sure. It's fun. Sure. Um, yeah. Turns out Mrs. Madden's a dirtbag. Who knew, right? Oh no. But no.
Starting point is 04:12:31 The idea ultimately being though, that like, um, yeah, you don't have the capability of, you just don't, if you don't have room read as a skill on your fucking, your bound to fly into that sun. You're gonna hit it, right? And the other problem is that if you, it's possible to over equip room read because,
Starting point is 04:12:51 Yes, it is. Like then you get so paranoid that you just don't want to say or do anything and then you turn and you, you over magnify people being normal. I talked about Kingdom Hearts to my friend. I think that person over there saw me. Oh crap. Yeah.
Starting point is 04:13:05 Right. You over magnify the smallest details as something of someone going like, oh my God, what is wrong with you? And it's like, no, they just had something in their eye. Yeah. You know? The room read thing is a very balanced,
Starting point is 04:13:17 They had something like teeth they were trying to get out and that's why they gave you the stink eye. It's hard. It's hard. And when you're, and early on it's hard to get the balance where you're like, no, they're not, no one, because what you need to conclude ultimately is you first you have,
Starting point is 04:13:30 I can't read the room at all. And then you do something super embarrassing and everyone goes, what the fuck? And you go, huh? And then that becomes the comic we talked about where you sleep late at night. Yeah. And then you have that moment waking up
Starting point is 04:13:42 and what about that thing you said that one time? And then you read the basis for all your future social shame. Now you build off of that and you retreat and you go the other way where you go, oh my God, everyone's looking and thinking about me and they're thinking about what I just said. I just said something really stupid.
Starting point is 04:13:58 Oh fuck, oh fuck. And no one gave a shit. No one gave a shit. Now you have to swing back the other way and have someone go, hey asshole, no one cares about you. You're not that important.
Starting point is 04:14:07 You're not important enough. You think you're the main character of this story, of this room. You're not the protagonist of your own life, Jackass. Everyone gives a shit what you just said or did. Everyone's too busy living their own life and you go, oh fuck. But then you go to that college party
Starting point is 04:14:21 and it's that photo of all those people looking at you. Yes. But the point is that after these two extremes you now establish the low end and then you establish the high end and then you realize how to float in the middle. But until you establish both ends of that thermometer, you don't know of that slider rather,
Starting point is 04:14:40 you don't know how to balance it. That's the thing, right? You need both. What you're describing is events will cause this. However, most of the biggest cringe happens the older a person is.
Starting point is 04:14:53 Right? So fucking ventriloquist act at open mic that makes you want to gouge your fucking eyes out. At school. Right? In the assembly.
Starting point is 04:15:06 Oh, it was at school? It was at school. I was able to watch very much of it. Right? But that, she was, well, 16, 17-ish. Was she older? Must have been 16, 17. Now, here's the thing.
Starting point is 04:15:19 Imagine that same scenario. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. I'm freaking out. Eight years old, right? That's not so bad. That's kind of adorable.
Starting point is 04:15:27 Right? Like, me and my friend John, when we were in fucking fourth grade, used to fucking act out bits from Final Fantasy 6, just like those fucking Kingdom Hearts kids. Yeah. But we'd be like, ha ha, because we were fucking children.
Starting point is 04:15:43 Yes. I was, my parking lot, Kingdom Hearts, was Power Rangers in grade three. You know? Yes. You were children running around making child noises. And you know why that stopped? Because I got real embarrassed around then.
Starting point is 04:16:00 And I learned that the human condition is about mitigating public shame. You had to murder your inner child publicly. Yes. And then keep that body buried. Yes. It never decomposes and it never rots away, but you have to keep it buried.
Starting point is 04:16:21 That's correct. Every once in a while, an arm flops out. And you giggle at something like a child. But then you shove it back in the dirt. Yeah. You got to have both. You got to have both extreme experiences. And that's why you know how to cringe,
Starting point is 04:16:36 because you've been there, or you've experienced some version of it in your life. It's why the cringiest things are the ones that are most relatable. It's why stuff like Watamote kills people. Yes. Because you can see some of yourself there. And you know what?
Starting point is 04:16:50 You know what? If you haven't been there, you're probably not very interested. Oh, no. Call the call out. I don't know how to say that the person was always cool. Yeah. You just always said the cool,
Starting point is 04:17:03 and then you hit the jukebox, and it played the right song. It happens. There are people like that. Yeah. You just always said what everyone wanted, and everyone was like, man, you're the fucking best.
Starting point is 04:17:13 Yeah, guess what? The person who tells you that story, that's their cringe moment right now, because they're remembering a fake thing that never happened, right? There's the cringe moment on the person. There's the guy we went to fucking college with, where his cringe was just lying about how awesome
Starting point is 04:17:29 his upbringing was, and his childhood was. Man. And talking about how fucking sick his high school experience was, and how everyone loved him, and looked at him up. Have I drove a race car? And he fucking drifted that race car.
Starting point is 04:17:41 Did you ever tell that story at home? He drive-sure I did. Oh, man. He drifted that fucking Hachiroku. Oh, they gave me the race car to drive today. It was a white Honda, just like fucking Takumi. I did the initial deed.
Starting point is 04:18:00 I took a photo. I'm gonna be on the cover of the magazine next week. Photoshop. Don't worry about the crossed out the face of the person driving the car. That's me, though. Legal reasons. Oh, boy.
Starting point is 04:18:12 Anyway. Oh, my God. That is literally not knowing when you hit the cringe bar and digging further, so that you know how Sephiroth's life bar goes off the screen? Yeah. Your cringe bar goes off the screen now.
Starting point is 04:18:24 I can't even see it anymore. It's gone. We don't know. You've dug to a whole new layer, but anyway. Oh, my God. You remember that fucking... Oh, my God. I remember that guy posted, like, a picture of his girlfriend.
Starting point is 04:18:35 Toyotas. Excuse me. Whatever. Like, playing, like, we in our underwear or something. It was like, yeah, she's pretty hot-ass my girlfriend. Oh, you mean that famous photo of this girl with a fat ass, like, sitting, playing a game?
Starting point is 04:18:46 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's my girlfriend. Oh, is it? Yeah. Then why can I Google Image Search this photo and see it everywhere on Google? Yeah, well, because it's famous
Starting point is 04:18:55 because she's gray as my girlfriend. Cool. Got it. Perfect. Nailed it. Oh, my God. Anyway. Yeah.
Starting point is 04:19:04 I think it was more screwed up that he was telling us that was the girlfriend that we had already met. Yes. That was the weirdest part. I'm like, the proportions of that didn't exist? That doesn't look like your girlfriend. No, no, it's her. Hmm.
Starting point is 04:19:20 Yeah. Uh-huh. Well, anyway. Yeah, if you haven't experienced, you know, like, you know, you know those games where it's like the golf games or so, you hit the button, and the first is to set the top of the bar. That's right. And then the second is to swing it back down.
Starting point is 04:19:38 You've got to get both ends of it, and if you didn't experience both ends, I don't know your problem. Then your center's going to be off. It's going to be off. You probably don't know. If the most embarrassing thing you've ever done is worn the wrong tie to school, guess what? There's so much worse it can go, brother.
Starting point is 04:19:53 You didn't. You didn't do that one thing that one time at that party that made everyone stop and silently look at you and wonder what the fuck just happened. What the fuck did you say, dude? Oh, did you do that once? We talked about this last week. What was it?
Starting point is 04:20:17 We talked about this. No, we didn't get into specifics. Oh, okay. We just talked about the details, and we all talked about how we slowly die. We slowly die because when you go, what about that one thing I said that one time? Oh, okay.
Starting point is 04:20:30 And everyone has that moment, and I go straight back to there right then that led to a pregnant pause in the room where about 20 people went, and I'm like, I've never had that dialogue-wise. I'm lucky. Because I remember a guy we knew that happened to.
Starting point is 04:20:50 I happened to him harder than I've ever heard it happen to anybody. Oh, boy. I needed to be bathed in it, bro. You don't grow an appreciation for cringe unless you fucking, unless you're baptized in it, you know? Anyway. Do you ever have that moment where you're like,
Starting point is 04:21:06 I need some cringe, and then you hit the cringe, and you're like, this is way stronger than I thought it was going to be? It's just genuinely really uncomfortable. Because the thing is that like, I mean, to be honest, there's stuff, and the stuff that is cringe
Starting point is 04:21:20 that I have out there where I'm like, oh, God, I have a fucking cringe metal gear fan film I made that's back out there. That's not that bad. And it's like, yeah, you know what, that wasn't even that bad. And I've got this- But also, that was like 15 years ago.
Starting point is 04:21:31 Right, and I got this, and then there's a fucking, you know, Mecham thing that I just talked about and Willie will figure it out, or it's like, yeah, that's actually, it's not that bad, it's all right. I mean, there's- No.
Starting point is 04:21:41 To me, like trying to eat a Dorito from last week, and I screwed up, it falls all over my chest and dick. And I'm just like, there's Doritos everywhere, and I was like, uh, that's like last week. That's plenty embarrassing. No, I'm talking about the real, real shit. That good shit.
Starting point is 04:21:56 That good shit. That good shit. Mmm. From the top shelf. It's been aging back there for a while. Oh, I don't like it. And you can fucking, you can smell the cork. I hate this.
Starting point is 04:22:08 You're like, oh, that's- See, this is pretty cringe right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's fucking whatever. It's 80 proof. Death cringe. So yes, what crosses that line, it's a total lack of self-awareness.
Starting point is 04:22:25 Mm-hmm. If you're doing cringe, but you know in your heart that it's cringy, good on you. You're doing it. I don't- Here's the one thing, as much as I was down and into the whole cringe gauntlets,
Starting point is 04:22:37 I haven't seen the 2019 version. Oh, yeah. So there's probably been some shit in five years that'll ruin me that I haven't seen yet. So I don't know if my, like I have, I have like a fucking carapace
Starting point is 04:22:51 built for 2008. Did you stop? Oh yeah, I remembered that. There was one day that you and I were talking about watching shit on the internet that made us want to die. And we both came to the conclusion
Starting point is 04:23:06 that we need to stop because we're like, ruining our souls. Yeah. That we were like horribly damaged. Yeah. And that was 10 years ago. Yeah.
Starting point is 04:23:17 A lot of things have happened in the last decade. Yeah, a lot of weird shit has happened. A lot of new things have happened. So. And some of our old armor must have fallen off. Half of it happens in fucking VR chat. I went and hung out.
Starting point is 04:23:31 That went away, huh? I went out. That thing sure disappeared. And hung out in VR chat for a while. It was pretty weird, but I didn't see anything like scandalous. Caught some bad VR chat cringe for a while.
Starting point is 04:23:45 Everybody trying to be funny. Nobody's laughing. That's dude. Everybody trying to be funny and nobody's laughing might be my favorite cringe. Because it's, hey, heckler, here's the microphone, right?
Starting point is 04:24:01 Yeah. Drunk heckler. Here's the microphone. Here's the microphone. Or this usually works on 4chan. Why is it not working in real life? Or whatever this is. All right.
Starting point is 04:24:13 Oh, boy. Oh, man. All right. Oh, it makes me feel good. What's going on? What's going on? I'm going to be streaming Tuesday and Friday. Probably resident able to.
Starting point is 04:24:22 Maybe something else. That's over it. Twitch.tv slash angry as pet. Over on woolly versus I've got catamari drawing to a near close. I've got zone of the enders also ramping up to its climax and new new experiences, big fun times
Starting point is 04:24:45 and cool shit happening with that. And JoJo's seven seven stand user continues on as well. Plus tomorrow on woolly versus on Twitch, get into fighting games. Gonna be sitting down with one posh P who's a known anime player. Awesome.
Starting point is 04:25:08 He plays anime. He plays some good anime. He competes very good in the guilty gears. He competes very good in the blaze blues. And he's also working on his own little fun mini game called foozies, which is all about teaching footsies. So we're going to be looking at that stuff,
Starting point is 04:25:27 particularly blaze blue tomorrow in depth with a pro blaze blue player. Oh my goodness. On the stream. So tune in for me and Reggie and and our boy. And we're going to be doing that tomorrow.
Starting point is 04:25:43 That sounds cool. Yeah. And I think I think I'm probably going to put out another woolly. We'll figure it out this week as well. Oh, cool. That's a podcast. That's a podcast.
Starting point is 04:25:51 Yeah. That's woolly versus pretty much for all that info. Cool. This is a long one. Is it? Yeah. We we we bantered about the memories
Starting point is 04:26:02 much of today. Oh, we this is one of those old school high high length fucking potters. Give me that high length. We did a high high length potter this week. Yeah. I mean, if we if we banter for
Starting point is 04:26:16 another exactly four minutes, we're going to hit that 430 mark. Oh, I like that 430. You like that 430 man. 430 was a good time when I was a child. What was 430? 430 was I'm home from school because school lets out at 330 and I'm done
Starting point is 04:26:34 with all my bullshit. 430 was Gargoyles just finished and Ronan Warriors is about to start. Yeah. I remember getting home for four and like fucking Gargoyles. That was 430. That was 430.
Starting point is 04:26:45 Oh, man. 430 was ABC 22 with the bullet with the our garbage resolution. Like we are channel 22 was always super fuzzy for us. ABC was always super duper fuzzy. So those cartoons were always fuzzy as well.
Starting point is 04:26:59 And the audio sound like it was coming through a fucking tin can. Yeah. But it has a feeling associated with that 430 was time to go downstairs and start playing a game with not enough time to get to a save point before dinner happens at 515 to 530
Starting point is 04:27:13 leading to the always appropriate. No, you can't say I can't. Yeah. Come you won't save. Yeah. It's no. I know you don't care, but I just leave it on.
Starting point is 04:27:26 No, I can't. It doesn't work. Turn off the TV and leave it on. Yeah. Yeah. That's how we did it. I remember borrowing my friends play PS2 to play Namco X Capcom
Starting point is 04:27:39 with no memory card getting to 50 fucking missions into that gigantic long game not having the ability to save. So I just left the goddamn thing on for a weekend. It was brutal. That's an Iron Man run.
Starting point is 04:27:51 It was rough. It was fucking dope. That game doesn't end. 430. 430. You know what that is? It's 10 more than 420. Fuck all you people.
Starting point is 04:28:03 430 was the last show I was going to get to watch without conflict because around five o'clock was Power Rangers and we would want to watch Power Rangers, but then my cousins would want to watch RAP City and we would have to fight between switching between RAP City
Starting point is 04:28:20 and Power Rangers. That sounds awful. Switching between the two sounds like the worst of all worlds for everyone. Exactly. Because we would basically catch the middle break.
Starting point is 04:28:28 So we'd see, we'd skip the intro set up. We'd see who the monster of the day was after they started fighting Angel Grove. And then we'd see the beginning of the fight, but then the megazord shit would all be at the end
Starting point is 04:28:40 and then we'd miss it because RAP City. What the fuck is RAP City? It's literally, it's exactly what it was like. It's a city based on RAP? I mean now it's a restaurant that sells RAPs.
Starting point is 04:28:54 Okay. But back then it was on Much Music which is Canadian MTV. Yeah. And Canadian MTV would be music television. Yeah. And they'd be all about RAP.
Starting point is 04:29:06 It'd be about RAP. Yeah. Yeah. But then it's like, if only there was some sort of picture in picture. If only. If only it could show us both things at the same time.
Starting point is 04:29:19 Yeah, that would never have been good enough for anyone. Back then it seemed like a fucking miracle feature. Yeah. Now I have two monitors for that shit. Do I need to watch my stupid animes while I grind this crap?
Starting point is 04:29:32 Yes I do. It feels like wars would have ended if we had picture in picture in my house full of screaming teenagers back in the day. But alas we did not. And when it finally came along I was, I didn't really appreciate it.
Starting point is 04:29:45 You had successfully eaten the remainder of your competitors. I do remember playing Wind Waker picture in picture while my brother was playing something else though. I think. So that was cool. That's fucking crazy.
Starting point is 04:29:57 Yeah, we were playing video games picture in picture for a while. It was fun. That sounds like the fucking worst. It was either that or fight. And that's how we fucking hashed it out. Did we trade off or what? No, no.
Starting point is 04:30:10 It was, it was, we figured it out. And there we go. 430. We did it. Yeah. We added to the length. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 04:31:14 Yeah. Dash back.

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