Castle Super Beast - CSB 017: Omnishambles: Push Rope To Save The City
Episode Date: May 14, 2019Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Big Game of Thrones Season 8 talk, not spoilercast, but roundabout discussion. Some Final Fantasy 7 scenes have aged POORLY. You can watch u...s record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: The Black Mages - J.E.N.O.V.A. xbox-game-of-thrones-giveaway Game Boy theme for Tetris 99's next online Grand Prix event Final Fantasy VII Remake State of Play trailer, screenshots Granblue Fantasy: Versus closed beta test set for May 31 to June 1 Code Vein PS4 and Xbox One closed network test set for later in May Medieval remake trailer What It's Like To Work On Ultra-Violent Games Like Mortal Kombat 11 Predator: Hunting Grounds - Reveal Trailer | PS4 Starbreeze Currently Lacks the Funds to Continue Operating for Another Year Monster Hunter World: Iceborne expansion launches September 6 Ghostbusters: The Video Game Remastered rated for Xbox One in Taiwan
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Okay. Alright. Alright. So, yeah. Right? I know. I know. And I know what you're looking
for. Yeah. And I know what you expect. Uh-huh. And I know what you want to see. And, uh,
quite frankly, I think this is where, I don't know, maybe I'll just take, maybe it's just
the difference between you and I as human beings on this planet Earth. Yeah. But even
in the midst of my feelings being at the 11. Yeah, that's right. That you might not necessarily
see me coming at this with that volume. Sure, totally. Uh, I always take what I consider
to be, I hope, a measured approach in most cases, but there's a breaking point. Yeah.
There's a breaking point. And, uh... I felt that breaking point was actually last week.
I mean, and here's the thing, right? Sometimes it can be hard to maintain that level when
the audience, when the arenas yells for blood are so definitely loud, it becomes increasingly
hard. However, uh, that doesn't change the fact that, um, you don't want to ever in retrospect
just be like the absolute, like, I don't, you don't want to look back on anything and
go like, did you, did you earnestly think that through? You know, did you earnestly really
actually think it through? Now, I don't have the energy, certainly. Uh, and to say that
I've like, I'm coming, how many hours off of it? I'm coming one night, maybe 12 hours
off of the counting sleep hours. I mean, I got a couple because for me, I like to only
count waking hours. So let's say like, six, seven? So off of Game of Thrones, episode
five of season eight. And, um, well, fair's the thing, first thing, right? One, mainly
because again, you haven't seen it. And two, I've heard it's really good. And two, everyone
seems really excited. There's a lot of energy in the air. So I'm not even coming into this
with a like full on spoiler break, you know what I mean? Uh, it would take so long. Oh
yeah. To even go into all of that. So I'm coming into this with, um, detail free. Yeah.
Like talk motion based vagaries, right? And, uh, if you build up your rant for three weeks
from now, well, I mean, when it's done, it's when it's done, you know, and then you can
just sit here and be miserable. But the point remains is just that like, uh, yeah, if you're
if you're not interested in even hearing that much about like how I feel about how things
went about what happened, then yeah, you're going to want to tune out. If you're still
interested, you're going to want to tune out. Um, anyone who's just like, I can't listen
to woolly, just be wrong and yell and scream about whatever you might want. I don't know
what to tell you. Never listen to this. I don't know what to tell you. Um, you know,
anyone who's kind of, uh, just going, there's a hate train and that's the end of it. Everyone
just is hating on what's popular. I know when I, I know what it's like to like be on both
sides of that feeling, right? Sometimes. And you know, you really do believe in what you
believe in. I would like to take that particular sentiment to task as somebody all the way
on the outside. Hate trains for popular things don't happen out of nowhere from the people
who were into them. Hate trains for popular things that are a proper hate train come from
outside. They come from people like me who go, I'm sick of having to listen about Game
of Thrones. I don't give a shit, but whatever, right? This is different. The, this is everyone
that I, I see go, man, I love Game of Thrones. So all that shit was so cool going. I want
to die. I am so sad. How can I like lost and Berserk and Game of Thrones? It's so easy
to, uh, when you feel positively about something that a lot of people are currently feeling
negative about, um, just group it all up into a single like thought. And I'm guilty of doing
that myself. Well, haters are going to hate apparently. And, uh, you know, that's like
you said, there's, there's times when it's like, OK, it's just fun to shit on this thing.
So that's what's going down. So look at World of Warcraft. It was fun to shit on wow for
like a decade before it even came shit. But, but to say that there isn't a core place where
at the very least someone who's not just, uh, uh, shooting out the, the vitriol, but
actually like can give you reasons for why something is, is upsetting or, you know, whatever
the case is, then you can, you can argue that maybe they shouldn't care as much as they
care. Right. You can, you can definitely say something about that. But we can't pretend
that I like, I'm not, you're saying, I'm, when I say this shit, the bed, I'm, I'm grabbing
you and I'm walking you over to each piece of feces and each splat splat spatter pattern
you're going inhale. And I'm saying, look, do you see that? Like I'm not just saying
you shit the bed. I'm, I'm showing you the poop, the evidence of the poop, each, each
piece there, right? That one's a little chunky. This one's saw liquidy. Like I'm, this one
looks suspiciously like a coffee cup. We are identifying them all individually. And I'm,
and it's really not just this hand wave. And of course Twitter's not the place to have
that kind of flow. I have my own comments on that. But boy, oh boy. Uh huh. Man. Oh man.
What? We got new terminology required to handle what is happening right now. Is it called
a brotherhood? Uh, I mean, you know, I, on Twitter, I was trying to find the words. There
will be a word. Uh, uh, I, what, what did I say? I say, like Omega flub. Yeah. Uh, turbo
botch. Honestly, depending on how people, how this turns out, I would be very on, on,
on board with saying that the piece of media or whatever got, got. Sure. Because that is
to the point. But like, easy to say. But when I say Omni shambles, you know, when I, when
I say, uh, uh, uh, what, like the ultra choke, uh, really what we're looking at is, is, yeah,
it's of course it's the, the, the prequel trilogy for a new generation. But yeah, you
also mentioned, we were talking about a little bit, you also said now inject the matrix. Inject
that with the matrix sequels, right? It's, it's bigger than ever. It's so much time invested
and, and what we're looking at is the most currently unsatisfying conclusion to something
that had such high quality writing and events occurring in its early episodes and characters
behaving in manners that were like realistic yet, uh, and like not, I don't want to say unpredictable
because predictability, we can debate the definition of that, but ultimately like characters
behaving in manners that were consisting and compelling and how, uh, it's like we jumped from
uh, seasons like, I don't know, like nine through, uh, 11 of the Simpsons straight to season 29.
Right into zombie form with no transition. You know, um, well, that's not true. Those,
some might say that after our season four, things started taking a second or
season nine is, is what is defined as the first season of zombie Simpsons.
Um, the tumble prime. Yeah. It's, it's, it really is the new, it really is like a new generation
of it. And, and you're going to definitely see, it's really interesting to watch how, um, like
everyone's got their different points, right? Where they tap out on it. And, uh, I saw after
the third episode, uh, a lot of people were like, man, that was still hype. I don't care. The action
was awesome and it was cinematography, the cinematography was cool when it wasn't impossible to
see. And, um, I keep hearing that complaint over and over and, and fuck the haters. Right.
And then the next episode comes out and the, the, the, the, the dominoes have to keep falling
in the directions that they're going. So the, the fallout of that initial bedshit becomes
like a continued leaking onto the floor stream of poop. So that has now more,
some people come back around seven days later and go, oh geez, look, hey, sorry. Uh, yeah.
I was, I was, I was kind of still on board, but man, this week got me, you know, no, it's like,
yeah, I, all right, you know, and then that, and then, but then there's people going like, man,
fuck you, you're still on the hate train or whatever. Right. And then this week again,
the third time in a row, even more people are like, oh geez, dude, like, yeah. Well,
it's because everyone has, everyone has their different breaking point, right?
They do. And from what I'm, uh, uh, from what I'm seeing from people's emotions,
which is mostly what I'm saying is that like they're being worn down and every week gives them
a new like gut punch. And it's like, can you take this one? Can you take, no, not this week.
And next week for the people still hanging on, there'll be another. And like, can you,
can you keep standing after this one? Huh? And part of the reason why it has gotten particularly
meaty this week is because this is also where people started releasing things such as
the compilation of actors talking about how disappointed they are with the current season.
Best season ever.
Like, dude, it, have you ever, could you imagine, um,
like red carpet interviews with Natalie Portman, Hayden Christensen and Ewan McGregor?
Yeah. Like the day after with them just going,
ooh, ironically enough, they were all really good at selling the crap. Like they were really good.
And you know what, I'll give Ewan McGregor props. I think he's still actually really good
in those movies, despite the terrible writing that he was given. I mean, dude, like we actually saw
what, uh, uh, we, you got a nice example of like how Hollywood treats fumbles.
And professionally, how you're supposed to treat a fumble is you just don't talk about it. And maybe
10 years later, someone cracks a joke in an interview and you just go, and then you, and then
you move on, right? Um, and that, so that clip with Amelia Clark, you're just going, best season
ever. Oh my God. Right. It's hilarious. And, and then you follow it up with like them doing
multiple interviews with everyone. So they cut to another dude, uh, Onion Knight,
who's just kind of making faces while they're saying, how did you think he'd goes? And he's
just like, you know what started this? You know, it was the first time that I saw this behavior,
like overt and like, it couldn't be ignored. It was sad Affleck. Okay. Okay. It was Affleck doing
those interviews, uh, for Batman v Superman in which he looks like he wants to melt into the
floor and he just couldn't hide it. Uh, and then there's, uh, what was there? There was, uh, the,
the dude who plays, uh, what's his name? Anyway, there's another character sitting down there
doing it, doing a thing. And they're like, they're like, yeah, so how do you, how do you feel about
the season or whatever? And he's kind of just like, yeah, you know, like, I mean, after that last
season, you know, like remember how that last season went with like, to character development
and then like the, and then the guy who plays gray room is just going like, oh my God, dude,
oh my God, like, wow, you're going in, you know, they're all, what we're seeing is all the actors
had an inside joke amongst themselves that they were, they were now living in schlock for a really
long time, right? And they've been cracking jokes and drinking and just going like, uh, to each other
for like a year now. And, and, and we're starting to see the light cracking, you know, from behind
the door on it. Here's the thing, right? A lot of them made their names on that show, but like,
it's not their fault that the show is doing what it's doing. So they're all scrambling to get out
and be like, yeah, it's because ever the consensus agrees with their internal, you know, jokes and
feelings. So they're like desperate to get out from under it and be like, I know, right, huh?
They gave me this piece of paper and said, read this shit. And, and, but at the same time, because
they've all become huge off of it, there's a level of clout that they do have now where they can't
say these things and more or less be fine. Like the Mark Hamill, what are you going to do? Fire
Luke Skywalker feeling replaced Daenerys? Yeah. So like, you know, fuck you, you're done. And so
you go down the list of everyone and, and, you know, everyone's got their different ways of
handling it. But like the one who fucking gives the least amount of shits clearly is Kit Harrington.
Yeah. Because in the making of like, I talked, I talked about what he was just like, how he was
like, he's like, or he basically went like, I fucking hated it. It's, I thought I was like,
I hated the fact that this event happened. And then he goes, ah, anyway, I don't know, whatever,
it'll be fine. Right. And then like, he, and then they literally cut to a completely different
location. And then the thing later on, he's got his hair cut, he's got the mustache way past it,
it's current. He looks like a completely different person now. And he's like, and he gets asked
in one word, how would you summarize the finale of Game of Thrones? What would you feel? Yeah.
And he takes like, I'm not going to say he doesn't miss a beat because he misses several beats
as he contemplates his career. Yeah. And then he leads into the mud and he leads forward and he
goes disappointing. And the interviewer goes, uh, uh, what? Wait, did you say what? And he goes,
I, uh, or Epic? I don't know. One of those, whatever.
And you see, he's one of those dudes where he's just like,
I don't give a fuck. I guess I do. I'm still trying to act. Reminds me of, I don't know.
Reminds me of, what is this Hollywood shit? God, what's his name? Uh, he's the guy who plays, um,
Edward in Robert Pattinson, Pattinson, Pattinson, Robert Pattinson. So like every time he gets
interviewed, he's like, I fucking hate Twilight. Twilight's the worst. Just like straight up,
like that shit is garbage. But now I regret being Edward in the role, but that's, that's,
there's distance at the very least now, right? Here we're getting it the day before the episode
Yeah. No, it's, it's not, the fucking show's not, there's three more, right? There's one more.
Oh no. There's only one more. There's one more. Oh no. One more. One more. And, and, and you're
getting all of this in the middle of it. Like you haven't left the theater and the actors are
telling you about how bad the prequel trilogy is. So you know what? I actually, I want to grab that
point because one of the things that I've been like, was really annoyed when I left the house
and I thought more about it as I came over here. And it's like, I went on a little mini rant last
week about like spoiler etiquette and how like, I have never seen so many people just stop giving
a fuck at all. At all. At all. At all. At all. At all. Yeah. I know exactly what happened last
night and I have been avoiding this shit for eight years, right? And all I can come up with is this
is people's way of dealing with the fact that they are so hurt and upset, but also it is a cosmic
warning to not give a fuck. Like this only happens when shit goes bad. And I was originally, I was
talking to Paige about this. I was like, I feel like in a 74 hour movie, as you described it last
week, that people like blowing out just open spoilers like the day before the finale about
like all the crazy shit is like, when you get to cloud city and empire strikes back and somebody
yells out, yo, Luke's is Luke's is right. Like that's weird. And now I think about it's like,
this is a warning to leave the theater before you get to it. This is people streaming out of it.
And you're like, oh, is it over? And you're like, no, don't go in there. We're we're
trying to check it. People streaming out. The yeah, like I compared it to I compared it to how
like when West World Season two dropped and I stopped giving a shit, how you just you don't
feel the you don't feel the need to protect you don't want to save anybody because at this point,
it's more important to warn the masses almost in a way. But form your own opinions. But I mean,
at the end of the day, like I'm still I'm still because of it's still fresh. And some people
still care. Some people are a week. Some people are watching it while eating dinner and like
drawing or doing something and it's out of the corner of their eye. And those people are still
enjoying it. So yeah, I will you know, so we're in a position of spoiler power, I guess you would
say. Yeah, exactly. So you know, and then they of course, is the part of it where I'm like,
yeah, these are these are undigested, you know what I mean? These are undigested opinions.
Some things I literally have turned twice on, right? Some characters have had like,
like I had a feeling about the way things were handled. And then I turned back on it. And then
I triple backed over onto how I felt about it. And to the point where I will even say that like
there's there are good points to some of the things they did. In particular, there's some
very strong cinematography in that last episode, you can see where a lot of that money was spent.
Have to ask a question. And I need to know if it's real. And I'll dance. But I was I saw people
complaining that Kit Harrington is not happy with the fact that he was told there was not enough
CG budget for a certain series of actions to happen with his character, followed by the most
expensive CG thing ever. The fact that how about this, I can add it, I like I don't think Kit
Harrington was told that I think that's barely yeah, yeah, yeah. All the good that all we needed
was the good boy to get a head pat. Yeah, that's all he needed. And we couldn't fucking get it.
It's too expensive. And in the meantime, we're watching fucking D&D talking about how HBO
wanted this to go longer. They had literally like put sign the number you want on the dotted line
budget. And they said, no, we want to end it and we want to keep it at this limit and this thing
and whatever. But they couldn't get the fucking head pat in I just anyway. Yeah, that was yeah,
that was before. Have you seen that Gintama clip that is now the most relevant clip that's ever been?
So it's I don't know. So I barely know anything about Gintama, but I do know that it is it takes
the piss quite a bit. And there's a clip in which the guy is explaining, well, here's what happens
to your favorite anime adaptation when you run out of manga. Well, there's a cut and it's two
colored lines. Yeah, which is why everyone is saying now like, you know, my face when Game of
Thrones fans are feeling the way anime fans have felt for years. Oh, yeah. It's like there's a
couple things that could happen. And he's describing, well, okay, well, either the the the show can
just stop and just wait. Or it can diverge in a different path. And it shows all the line going
on all these fucking goofy loop to loops, right, in order to save time for the book to come out.
Now, I feel like they would have tried to do that. If they actually had faith that another book would
come out. So there's a link, there's a multiple things that have been rumored and leaked and whatnot.
But something that happened that we've that was discovered like yesterday or so is that in an
interview with one of the actors that's no longer on the show, they said that apparently books six
and seven are done, and that George RR Martin actually completed them some time ago and struck
up a deal with DND, who are the creators of the show to wait until the show was done before
publishing the books. Okay. So wow. Then there's what happens when they go to re reintegrate,
right, your your your manga and your anime, and uh oh, there wasn't enough book. Now it's
got to go all over. Or what happens if they've become so different now that they can never meet
back up and all these different situations. I'm looking at it as like Game of Thrones is apparently
doing every single one of these problems. It's it's weird and interesting because on the one hand,
there's enough material of people are scouring through everything George RR Martin has ever said
yeah right now for answers and right and he makes references to things where on the one hand you
sounds like things can diverge heavily, especially if there's a huge backlash here. But on the other
hand, it's like no, he did give them sort of an idea of where things were going to go. We could
be looking at this as what he referred to in his interviews as a scouring of the shire, which is that
you know when they return after the the return of the king back to the shire and have to deal
with the final issue. But like there's also more than enough evidence here to support to support
yeah yeah yeah to support the fact that um what they were given what dnd were given as far as
material goes it looks like they chose to put it over here and decide they can do things better
right for TV people we could do TV and the best breakdown as to why and how
they decided to do that is based on a lot of people going back to what George RR Martin describes as
his the way his characters are are are the way his characters interact with the world is by being
they're like they're like they grow and they control themselves in a way right so that there's
a term uh i forgot what the exact term is but i think it's almost like they're planted and then
they kind of the plants just grow right and so you kind of create the world and watch where it
takes you and the characters for the majority of the story have been this way and that's why they
have always felt consistent and compelling right because they were going by the decisions that a
person in this position these are the things that they would conclude and therefore their actions
would happen in such a way you have two big ways to write a character you can the gardener versus
the architect this is where the character's gonna be i gotta figure out a way to get this character
from here which is farm boy and over here to old man jedi in a hermit right like i gotta i gotta
figure out the path alternatively if you're we're gonna write a long form thing and you're confident
you can say well this thing happens and just say well how would this person deal with this and just
put them wherever the fuck they would naturally go i would and just do that i went back i went back
to the wiki and just read the synopsis of every episode going through from the beginning just
just to refresh myself on like my feelings and the amount of density in those first two seasons
blows my mind yeah like the amount of places the camera was cutting to the amount of characters
they were tracking that were all up to their own things yeah and how they would intertwine
is fucking masterful right it is a intricate weaved web work of just it's a loom of of characters
motivations and interactions clashing and then coming together and uh yeah it's the idea of the
garden right where they're gonna go their ways now some people were were saying that like in fact
the problems with some of the books are the fact that by gardening it just becomes a forest
and he's having a hard time taming it to get where it needs to go right the plotter or the
architect is the one who says the structure of the story needs to be this this is where the story
is gonna end this where it's gonna begin and i'm gonna go and you just plan and you just put out
the lego blocks in the road and you pave it and you make the characters go down that road yeah
and that's where they're gonna go no matter what in the past has spurred them they have to go this
way and hopefully the road they're on doesn't go against what you've put them in you know what i mean
i'm not gonna say that either one of these styles is better but i will say that if you write a character
one way it's gonna be real difficult to make them be written the other way so when we get to this
final season or the final two seasons and dnd are deciding to handle things in their own way they
diverge yeah right they they hard break off of the the the books and then start going their own
way with it now you got to find a way to get this thing onto the landing strip you got to close it
out you got to end it seal the deal man and the only way they're and so they decide to end it by
plotting out the plot points the things that have to happen and there has to be a big battle
and has to be a character portrayal not even not even in that sense no i okay right because
yeah that that that of course there's there's you're you're blowing air horns for clagaine
bowl like i don't know like there's people aren't been you got to have those things but more importantly
you almost create a list of things that people need to see before the final credits roll okay
right are things that they think people need to see right these characters need to meet back up
once more they're yeah yeah right and you start going down that list and so they created clearly
what would be like a that what they thought and some of that includes fanfiction and some of that
includes uh we like this character so we're just gonna push them over the top right or people
want to see more of this and george actually refers to the fact that certain characters made
returns that didn't need to because of popularity so literally uh uh uh shonen jump character manga
polls are affecting appearances in the story based on popularity guys hard confirmed i didn't
really think that many people liked avdol everyone loves kakashi he's ranked number one
on the polls i didn't know time to go into his guy i actually really like this character so um
we have the complete shift in tone and what we're watching now are the characters that were growing
forced into these roads to go down these paths in order to get the landing where it needs to be
and you're literally throwing out any other major plot points that that were like
massive motivators you're just tossing them in the garbage to try and stick your landing um it is
uncomfortable it is brutal and it is painful to watch as like characters who were really richly
developed start making decisions that are completely against everything that they would have done
up until this point right and um and like you're you're really just kind of feeling like you're
looking at not the same character you're looking at the same actor but they're not doing the things
that they've been you know leading towards or whatever the case is you know um and in a lot
of cases there is foreshadowing for certain things but they the way they handle it is instead of like
looking at like uh uh uh what georgia or martin put down as like a major like not too subtle
hint as to where a character is supposed to go they will instead decide to go back to two lines
of dialogue from a random episode that fit with what they currently want to do like and then they'll
just go like oh yeah look we set it up see we had a moment here and now we can call back to that
you're like but you're ignoring this entire other very yeah that's what we meant the whole time
totally promise promise um so it it really was just like wacky to see so many characters going
through uh their their their final moments completely out of character right uh then I want to say
you have just the raw stupid factor yes riches this is me because like what I was just describing
is like failure of like I guess like subtext and and you know the structure yeah but then there's
just surface level stupid shit right characters just got dumb uh main characters and like anyone
who has a face on the box yeah gets to teleport wherever they need to be and always survive
until they face off with someone else who's on the box right so a motherfucker oh that's really
bad because that's the uh so I watched the first season game thrones that is the 100
percent opposite of the way that was written whether or not you were on the box really didn't
matter for fuck all like I had to I was trying to to explain to someone who was like what did you
mean by that whole ned thing like I still like I understand the rest of your points but I think
your Ned Stark would have been saved comment is stupid like I don't get it and I'm like no what
I'm saying is the moment that Ned dies and you don't expect that to happen represents the show going
hey tropes and what you would expect of a normal fantasy setting don't give a shit this main character
just got offed fuck you right we're gonna play with the results of that now most high profile
actor on the cast and you would never expect like the story to let a character like that die yeah
and they do and then they roll with it in this version of the zombies game of thrones we're
watching the the start work we're watching a place where not only would that character have survived
but they would have made their way like they would have had a triumphant escape until they and they
would continue to survive until they faced up with another major character yeah so literally a
motherfucker who's out in the ocean on a fucking boat that explodes just survives it and washes
up to shore just in time to have a final boss battle with another character that matters it's
funny because red letter media likes to use this terminology when they talk about movie plots and
i actually find it totally appropriate is when they say that like this is some video game shit
when it's like the plot line goes along the lines of this needs to be a final confrontation
this needs to be a big epic moment why because we need to have a big epic moment yes and so much
of the show because of the gardener effect has had these characters going in their own directions
away from each other that the process of bringing them back together has required fast travel
and sometimes multiple times per episode wait what sometimes okay even i know the distances
involved are like weeks of travel between every single major location dude it it is unclear how
fast a dragon flies man sometimes a dragon can make it from here to beyond the fucking wall
and back in time for lunch and other times it takes days it really doesn't who knows right
but uh and there's there's a bunch of fantastic gifts like that like you need to know how much
time is occurring in the story there's a bunch of fantastic gifts of things where like a character
is like oh you want to go home to winterfell don't you it's like yeah all right then go and
then it just a pause screen comes up and selects map would you like to fast travel to winterfell
a loading screen and then suddenly they walk in the gates like there's no problem um everyone
starts teleporting it took half the first season of game of thrones to make it to king's landing
right so like that's and it was it was there were multiple on the road episodes which meant it takes
forever do you like i went when i went back to also after doing the read through i went back to
watch uh clips of certain parts and things like sometimes you just want to go watch a fucking
uh uh uh a compilation of tywin just being tywin yeah that's right god and bobby b just
being bobby b robert brathian yeah the goat sometimes you just want to go back but yeah
there were episodes of people on the road right there were episodes of fucking the caravan going
down to king's landing or aria going uh on her on her fucking slave journey come to think of it in
that first season there is not a single episode in which a character is not on the road to a far
off location and the whole episode is them on that trip and you learn things about the character
and they learn things about the world either based on what's happening on the road either from winterfell
to king's landing or king's landing to the airy or the winterfell to the wall and they were all
in episode time they were all given enough like leeway to be like okay winterfells closer to the
wall than it is to king's landing and i know that because john anterian got there before
santa and aria and them got to king's landing via episode count now here's the problem it's very easy
to sit back and not think about where people are on the map at any given time yes in fact
i remember when the dvds came out one of the features was in the episode you can pause it and
it will give you a little fucking status screen of like a male that says who it's actually fucking
where that's fantastic right exactly uh it's very easy to ignore that and i think a lot of the people
who are still kind of like yeah just enjoy it it's fine are some of the people that are like not
thinking about that stuff for example slash just kind of accepting contrivances right and this is
this is touching on it's it's it's i'm going back to what i brought up last week where accepting
contrivances is like it's something we do more often than we think yeah you know and you don't
get forced to confront it until it fails if it lands if it sticks to landing you choose to ignore
you know so so that so the other example of that i mean besides the teleporting characters
and whatnot is uh what i what everyone describes is clagaine bowl um there is an awesome sword fight
that happens in a really cool location that i'm describing as basically a soul caliber battle
yeah um it's a boss fight i'm seeing people talk about it like it's a boss oh yeah yeah because
you're on a stairway and it's collapsing on both sides with fire and rubble yeah and one's wall
is like a hard wall that you can get comboed off of and the other wall is a drop into infinite
flames got it and beasts are flying above in the outside as i can actually as the sky is is
shining through there's actually a soul caliber five stages is actually somewhat similar to what
you're describing yeah all right so what a great set for a hype thing we wanted to see
and um in that thing even and as much as it was in it was enjoyable for various reasons and like
i i i could go into details i was like as to why i think a lot of it played out in a way that i'm
like yeah that was satisfying um they you still have to you could appreciate the scene but in
order to appreciate the scene you have to accept something like uh good guys always go for the
kill bad guys like to toy with their prey right right and even when a bad guy has no motivation
incentive reason or like hasn't been really shown to be the person that would do this you're going
gain right sure that guy doesn't do that even i know that right so so when you've been watching
a series of when you've been watching a series of people getting one-sided in the doesn't that guy
eat babies or something uh worse okay but like the first thing i ever saw that dude is get pissed
and cut a horse in half yeah he doesn't give a shit so he has he has one button and that's the
kill button and everything he does is a single hit that kills whether it's a punch that blows your
head up a grab that pops you or a horse cleave yeah things just die in one yeah right squash champ
so the idea squash champ he brock lesners he f5s right what's the guy's name uh matanza from
fucking lucha underground um so the idea or suplex city whatever yeah uh so the idea of him
like just like slamming you around for a while picking you up and tossing and tossing and then
eventually going for a choke is like that's not he that's not what he does and more importantly
and like even if you want to give it the the and then there's a couple other things there where
you're like also like just let people take damage you know let things happen in a way but all but
armor means nothing and you can just armor is clothing you can just stab right through it
we've discussed this armor as a somebody wrote in and basically described armor as a medieval
superpower your borderline invincible yeah um and it's like it's easy to just dismiss it as like oh
yeah well he this is something that the bad guy's enjoying a reveling in and it's just like the bad
guy's been stripped of all motivation so think about that before you put that out there um but
mate like it's debatable it's debatable because then there's like oh but there's a hint of maybe
there's a thing but i anyway it's hard to go further into the full thing but like but the
point remains is that like every time you see something good there's also a mess associated with
it but but the but the and i and i just i recognize that as a thing i've seen in in movies and other
things as well where like the bad guy toys and then loses because they're toying yeah the good guy
goes for the the kill shot right even as they die or whatever the case is right so um even
the book in season one made fun of that with the very first dual fight scene
in the airy where the good guy is all like giving a fucking speech in his fancy shit yes
and the bad guy just fucking gets him in a second yeah in fact the same characters we're
describing represent the opposite ends of that entire spectrum where toying with your pray
is a really dumb idea um and the person who upsets that is the same person who falls victim to
it oh great awesome so super uh anyway um but it's but i still liked a bunch about sure you like
because it was a cool solo caliber fight yeah so um now now now now the the problem there's a lot
of problems one thing that comes to mind really strongly that i don't want to forget about is that
i keep trying to figure out what these making of things are supposed to be because at first i
was like this is to capitalize on the hype moments they're looking to expect get them to keep watching
then you then you're like this and then you see the interview where they're like we're going to be
in a cabin in the woods away from all life and technology with wine when the finale airs
away from all of you because you can't make everybody happy and you're like oh they know
right so what is this this is just fucking soft in it at first i was like oh they're just
saying that like some people are gonna love it some people are gonna hate it and they just don't
want to deal with the flak right yeah but then you start seeing the cast laughing at everything
that's happening and it starts to paint a different picture of like oh they're kind of aware of what's
going down and are really trying to head it off at the pass and then i'm like maybe these making
ofs that we're cutting to at the end of the credits are actually them going okay so here's what the
fuck we were thinking yeah and what and the end result is there's this screenshot of goddamn
whether it's dan or david or david i don't know which one but it's just them sitting there in the
same background and i'm like every time i've seen this shot of you going well we were hoping that
the viewer would forget that this happened yeah and you just go i fucking hate this screenshot
this moment with you with your stupid fucking caller saying something that makes no sense and
betrays the fact that like your planning is ridiculous it just makes it worse and i don't
know if they wanted to hope that they are they could sit there and explain how to make it better
or why they tried to do what they did but what they do in the process of explaining why they made
these dumb decisions is they remove the benefit of the doubt where you could say maybe they're
doing something else yeah maybe they meant something else maybe there was a hidden implication here
you get you strip all that away because they raw tell you exactly why they did it and hard confirm
that it's just as dumb as you were afraid yeah uh we're not going to see one like this for a while
well you know why we're not going to see like one this for a while there's there's part of this
so Game of Thrones being the way it is and it's ending the way it is and everybody's so upset
is unique in one respect and that's it took a really long time to go from people enjoying it
to trash fire like this seems a very sudden reversal it seems like contained to within
this season there i've been seeing people say that it's been like a jump the shark for a while
but i feel it's pretty conclusive like at least from my perspective that like even if it jumped
the shark before like the shark came back with a gun and shot everyone at the beach
of this season right there are it was hiding behind the rocks there are
let's let's focus on who's really gonna deal with this like people are like well you're upset
you feel disappointed right it hurt you are we are we going into my tweet right no no no
right you're hurt you're disappointed because this thing this this this this show hurt you
and you're sad you wasted your time right there's tons of people like that there's people who bought
tons of merch there's people who got tattoos right that they probably wish they could take back
we are going into my tweet there are shoutouts to seven-year-old little girls eight now named
Daenerys slash Khaleesi shoutouts to everybody who named your fucking kids one of those two things
huh good job people and like you know what the and like john is an is the most common name
in north america probably job right good parents there's variants of john that right there's all
sort like ned uh like what a jamie i'm not like all like all the dudes have you notice this all the
dudes have bro names and and and rob and all this shit and all like except for tearing eggs and every
woman in that cast has a name that you all that's a fancy cool name what's name our kid like if you
named your kid john after john snow you can that kid can dodge that forever if you named your kid
Daenerys they can maybe dodge it if they say it's aw it's danny right or whatever the fuck but like
come on like um i'm gonna go ahead and say i'm gonna even just saw somebody in chat say
sweet baby griffith like like literally dude like here's the thing fucking i'm not even gonna call
out how dumb i think it is to make that mistake right i'm not like let's say you want to do the
story is done that's it let's say you still want to do it let's say you still want to do it wait for
the fucking credits to roll idiot wait for the smoke to clear you don't know what's gonna happen
you're committing in the moment okay and this is not a tattoo on your body it's a human being
you're fucking cursing with this name literally wait for the shit to fucking end and and here's
my favorite part that i just i realized i was just formulating that it's something that you can't
even explain to that kid for real until they're like 15 because the show's too fucked up for the
kids to watch now like the kid can't even like okay i need the fuck it well i'm gonna have a kid
i'm gonna name him stepher off right i can let an eight-year-old play f seven they can find out
how stupid i am you name your kid tirion guess what hey do you want to see it seen with tirion
in it can't his dicks out and he's fucking a bunch of whores you'll have to wait till you're older
um again i'm gonna double benefit of the doubt right one wait for the shit to end right i'm not
even gonna tell you don't do it just don't do it yet right do it later um two name your second child
virginal two you can never you can never predict the future so let's say someone decided to name
their baby anakin somebody in the chat just said dumbledore which i think is dead on as well yes
but here's the thing though with that with dumbledore let's say you decided to name your baby anakin
after the first trilogy okay okay oh right oh you're fine that's not your fault that kid will be
25 before it becomes bad when the revisit occurs and retroactively fucks your name up
people can kind of go ah not your fault man okay you know even though the original is not your fault
either but okay no if you named your kid anakin after the first trilogy that would have been 82
ish like let's let's give it a leeway right sure that's four years older than me you would have been
in your 20s when the prequel shit came out fine by whatever so if they if they if they closed out
game of thrones on a great note and then they come back to it and then it's ass later then yeah sure
um fuck like who like the name the name sucks now or whatever yeah but it's at least a separate
thing that you can say oh they fucked it up later you like the thing that you're currently
in the moment of you can't be so stupid and impulsive as to like possibly like give your
fucking child a harsh life because you couldn't fucking think with a little bit of foresight um
i'm hard calling starland vocal band i'm hard calling that the end credits are gonna drop
and that they're gonna drop a logo tease maybe not even footage because who knows if it's even filmed
yet but they're gonna do at least minimum of a logo tease for the fucking uh uh what you call it
game of thrones uh before the storm because the prequel show was confirmed and you know what they're
gonna do after game of thrones before the storm they're gonna do game of thrones brotherhood
game of thrones too no they're gonna so you were talking about jrr earlier yeah and sorry g r r
grim grim grim grim oh wow um and i had this this this little thought in the back of my mind is like
yeah what if the books are done and what if that seventh book is being rewritten right now yeah
based on everything happening that's what i said to fix yeah what yeah because like say you're
say you're a big author and you get this this movie this this movie deal whatever this this show deal
and you're like oh i get to see what people are going to think of my ending years in advance
of having to actually write it i can fix it before it happens but i also really need to emphasize
as i because i brought that up before but you really need to also be aware of how different the two
are there are important characters that are alive yeah sure but what i mean is is that you can you
can read the room you have the ability to read the room yes you do and see what people need or
want or like or whatever yes but the brain that grew the plants in the garden in such a way
probably probably can understand how to make the motivations continue to be consistent yeah as we
move through that as opposed to trying to hard can put the peg of the the the three-hole whatever
the triangle into the square hole you know like um yeah they're gonna they're gonna like an hbo
fucking knows of course they're just they're gonna lean heavy into this prequel thing and it's
gonna be your it's gonna be there um fear the walking dead you know what i mean it's gonna be
there's their side show because game of thrones is the biggest shit ever it'd be crazy because
everybody knows it it's a safe new brand name now everyone knows the brand gotta revisit it gotta
do what you're gonna do with it um hey well do you have a do you have a your phone handy sure
i want to text you something sure um yeah wild wild wild wild uh the the the final i guess thing
before we fucking steer way out of this is just i just have something to tell you has nothing to
do what we're talking about okay that's fine just check texts okay all right
okay so um
anyway uh
hmm okay uh well yeah so what i was going to say was that uh
just if the the the on the we talked about the why the the subtext and shit was stupid and why
things weren't working and then the surface level shit's not working and then the problem with
the people behind it and what's going on and then the actual actors involved being like i don't
know what you're doing here and and then it's not just one person being like i want my character
to be important it's the entire cast well yeah um you know because like there's been a big break
a lot of yeah there's there was rumored there's rumors about like uh danny over the years getting
a little bit more like i want my character to be this and to be that and they're kind of like
what we want to do but okay but uh that's the great thing about writing is that words on a page
don't argue back with you but this season is not only with last night not it's not just
shitting on and arguing with and going completely contradictory to every season prior to it
it's literally fighting with itself yeah the last episode and this one are fighting with
themselves because god how much how can i even
the things that were introduced to deal with the single most op aspect of the story the story
come out of nowhere yeah and nullify them they have their nerfed remember we talked about the
yeah big nerf the nerfification nerf
i expected um something along the way they previewed this the way this is going to happen
i expected literal armor to show up on these these these op things okay to solve the problems
sure not only did i not get literal armor i got something way better way thicker and way more
impenetrable plot armor no when the character puts themselves in the exact same situation
that failed twice before and the plan the plan when they go back and decide what they're gonna do
to address the fucking issues of their weakness is to not address the issues and try again right
yeah it's the i got knocked to the ground get back up and run back in there Naruto just keep
running in there and keep getting knocked down and as long as you keep getting back up you do it
literally no plan no thought no idea of how to deal with the situation just try again and hope
you get lucky and this time you get fucking lucky how satisfying right your enemy has a gun and is
shooting at you from 20 yards away your friend just got shot and died on the ground next to you
but i'm gonna keep running in and hope that i can dodge the bullets though in the back of
your mind you're like yeah 21 foot rule yeah 21 foot rule i can do it serpentine serpentine yeah
right unpredictable and then the story rewards you and says good job you did think of the right
solution you got super in their face and you dodged all the bullets good job good job buddy
dodged every bullet holy fuck dude um every time someone draws up maps of these things
and shows you like the placement of where things are and like how it just it's one of those like
you can like do a madden football drawing of the nonsense um people have been editing things
people have been editing things in ways where they're like let's take this piece of shit
and make it less shitty by just reorganizing the shots to make more sense and that's where it's brutal
because you're like oh it's still a fail but it becomes but it's like this is the worst version
of the worst decision you weren't you weren't even doing the best variant of your bad choices you
were doing the worst one because someone rearranged your your your shots to make them better you know
what that reminds me of my most hated superhero movie ending and of course everyone is unsurprised
that i'm going to start talking about fucking superman because in superman returns we spend the
entire movie going oh my god kryptonite man holy shit that shit'll fuck you up superman
i can't you got stabbed by the kryptonite just a little oh my god you're almost dead
superman how are you gonna deal with this big fucking island of kryptonite i'm gonna push on
it really hard because i'm superman i know there's a lot of kryptonite but it's big but i'm so strong
it's gonna push it i'm gonna push it into space i'm superman and i remember being just like
holy shit what the fuck is the point of the movie if you can just do this how the fuck is kryptonite
even a fucking problem like jeez it's just gotta be motivating enough like it sounds it's so bad
you just gotta feel it in your kokoro you just gotta feel the movie is rendered totally pointless
you just gotta you just gotta feel it you're you just have to get get motivated and then you can
yeah that defeats everything so it's the same thing and i know i know it's placebo i know it's not
it's just a green rock i know the real weakness is inside all along i know that like people are
gonna laugh because i'm gonna use Naruto but like every plague did amazing video on this about like
Naruto the self-made hypocrite but it's like you go through episode after episode of episode
of like Naruto's trying really hard man he's trying oh he's so he's he's stupid but he's
trying really hard in this way and he's losing because he's an idiot and he's actually bad
and he's really bad and he's in comedy he's bad but don't worry we'll just give him the wind
because magic because he's he's on the front of the fucking shonen jump he's got to win just
give him the magic he can win and the only time he loses is when the other guy got given a bigger
magic off screen the big magic like you just look at the way things unfolded like even
fucking Daenerys like you just look at the way things went and you're like you know there was
enough to make that make sense there was but the specifics of what she does are just the worst
possible version of how you could make those events play out it it really it's oh it just
comes sorry it just keeps coming back to me in waves as i stopped to think about it so here's
my question willy and i need to ask you this and this is you as a person are you strong enough in
your soul to turn all these emotions into excitement for this sunday
right like there's a corner to turn here it's been turned okay it's been turned and it's like
and it turned i'll tell you exactly i'll tell you exactly when it turned is it turned uh at the end
of the third episode when suddenly without anyone acknowledging it or saying it our silence's golden
rule in the house got broken yeah right we never talked about the fact that we just we watched it
in silence yeah we enjoy when you're enjoying it whatever because you were both in john and
suddenly we just started talking over it and then the next episode and then we were watching
and then a couple something about five minutes in we just started having a conversation and it's
like hey i got to go to the bathroom yeah don't pause it yeah yeah yeah and then you go oh that's
so oh here we are so for me if i'm watching don't pause it if i'm watching a movie with somebody
and they need to go to the bathroom and they tell me not to pause it i want to stop watching that
like i'm done yeah yeah that without discussion it just got there the don't pause it and the
fucking we're just gonna talk right over yeah you know uh like if you were having sex and you left
the room for some reason good whatever it's like yeah i don't keep going without me you know just
do you you know if you if you're done by the time i get back that's fine i don't care
that's when it happens so so it really just became like oh now we're popcorning it like oh
where we do it where are we going now and and what helps is is knowing that like the actors are
right there beside you going like this season ever that's gonna live on in fucking infamy man
oh boy yep all right okay dokes you want to talk about something happy we did with our weeks
because we can segue off that real positive um yeah how hey how positive hey you know what's
really positive and makes me feel really happy even though it might be the most shallow thing in the
world oh my god woolly catching them all it's Pikachu look at him he's so cute he's so cute he's
wearing a little hat he's doing it he sounds like Ryan Reynolds he's doing the thing he's dancing
it's Pikachu shout outs to uh that movie completely sidestepping the sonic problem oh yeah 100
bite and bite and and taking something that you know you're looking at these little cute animals
that could have probably been horrific some cases are i saw people talking about how the the pokemon
company came out and said we're pretty unhappy with the way lick a tongue was portrayed yeah and
jigglypuff is super creepy yeah mr mime is super creepy super super super creepy a lot of these
things are really really creepy like sure you can see a torus and your brain just says bull and you
can see if a fucking uh uh uh what should we call it um pidgey and pidgey oh no it's burn it's
burn but then when you see the weird shit right the fucking uh the blue speaker things i don't
even know what those are and you like it starts to get really like oh but but it actually like
works you believe you're like yeah i can buy that yeah yeah but i think the detective Pikachu was fun
it was um you know it was funny it was simple it was basic it was it's a kids movie it was cute
for kids uh the plot people that were kids who played pokemon at one point in their life the plot
didn't make a lick a sense it made a little sense it made no sense no there was a part that made
sense none of it made any sense okay let's talk about what really matters uh because the plot is fine
for the children and let's be really real it's just an excuse for you to go oh my god it's Pikachu
and you know what that's fine yeah because Pikachu was really cute and Ryland Reynolds
carried that shit on his back like the Hulk sure and uh it's also clear that it's like oh and besides
everyone going oh my god it's Pikachu then then the people that don't want their cool shit are like
yo it's new too though yeah and like yeah super cool yeah fuck yeah and Greninja's super cool well
that's where i was gonna go next it's now we hard confirmed that according to the pokemon company
Greninja is the second coolest is the cool is they're really cool they're really happy with
Greninja um well we knew that one thing he got in Pokemon when he got thrown in smash yeah they
fucking love the ninjas but like i want to talk about that movie having one big ass blemish
one well i'm gonna knock like if i were to give that movie i'd give it at like an eight or whatever
but i'm knocking a whole point off due to one thing and that's a person that is a person and
that's their acting me so woolly i went to see it with Paige and woolly would see it with Stephen
a friend who and he just happened to sit right in front of us yeah we didn't plan it and but more
importantly as we walked out we all turned to each other and went what the fuck is up with that
reporters acting yeah she is the worst actress i have ever seen i think she is so bad i think
she was told to act like a like a film noir uh uh kind of like old school trouble dame you know
and uh i think she maybe didn't quite know what that was and so decided to just Nickelodeon it
Nickelodeon acting is a good way to put it you you you uh i think i said that or Paige said that
and then you went it's a disney actor yeah she's a disney channel actor someone from disney xd
just showed up holy shit yeah she is so bad and every scene that she's in feels like you're in
the twilight zone because ryan reynolds and i don't know the kid the the main kid what his
name is the the main actor the good man whatever right he's fine he's not the best but he's fine
right and those two they're acting they're in a movie they're being in a movie they're being actors
and then it's just like i gotta get to the bottom of the truth justice and holy fucking shit it's
and like i feel like the movie even knows that because there's a part where ryan and the kid have
to have like an investigative like important scene and they leave her behind in a different room
yeah so that they can have it yeah so that she doesn't fuck it and oh my god she's so fucking bad
yeah uh yeah that was maybe maybe a wrong cast pick there i don't know or maybe just
different direction on how to handle it but it was it was yikes it was pretty bad um but beyond
that yeah fine i really liked it when uh pikachu was walking down the street and he did that thing
i really enjoyed that um that room was sick yeah that was this is the coolest there is a room
there's somebody's office that is like the coolest location it's a really really really sick that's a
dope room it's a root it's like you're i mean it's like what you'd expect it's like you see the
gameboy versions of these things and giovanni's tower or whatever and you're seeing the real life
when you're like oh man that's great and this movie does more than anything else it it absolutely
hard cements the fact that nintendo needs to get on the pokemon game where you can look up at the
trees yeah the game where you're in the real forest i've been saying it for a while now and
i'm beating a dead horse i know but this makes you really fucking skyrim witcher pokemon game
it makes you really feel the need for a game where you're cutting through the brush well because
they do this uh was it prosy do you i forget this it showed up on my timeline it's this perfect
sentiment it's like the movie's just an excuse to give you a window into a planet in which pokemon
are real and honestly if the movie had no plot at all and was just like the daily lives of people
walking through the city being around pokemon and that'd be weird yeah i'd watch that i'd watch
that a second that like who cares yeah like i'd watch a fucking like 12 episode mini series about
a day in the life and it's literally just like i'm a mailman i'm going to and then and just like
oh i'm an office where it's like but but pokemon like i don't care it's so interesting for whatever
reason also um considering that there's been direct pokemon anime movies you know uh it's
like i like the fact that they went for like a weird particular type of live action flavor pick
they went for the weirdest side story concept they went for the weirdest combination of inclusion
i've ever seen because this film hard canon cements that one the pokemon anime films are real
and happened and to the tv show aired in the universe that the movies took place in
which makes you go back okay you know when poke ash the movie they're remaking ash and
mutu and all that yeah right that movie happened yeah but there's also a tv show about ash adaptation
yeah which is the weirdest thing i can imagine they took the real story and turned it into an anime
that's what happened it's so weird inspired by the by the the true stories uh yeah it was it was
go do it and um really really nintendo just take all the money take all the money make that make
that triple a game go for it you're not you're not gonna regret it um so you were not in the monster
hunter before world no so you didn't have to fight with people every time it came up i had a bunch of
twitter spats and before that i had forum spats and before that i had fucking what the arguments
and people and mmo's and shit like that monster hunter is so big in japan because it's on handhelds
and they're never gonna make a big budget one because it'll cost too much and it's not gonna
make its money back and it's never gonna happen and not only it can't happen because if they do a big
budget one it's not gonna sell in the west you don't know what you're talking about and then
they're gonna it's gonna fail and you're gonna kill monster hunter stop asking for a big budget on a
console you're trying to kill monster hunter why do you hate monster hunter okay you can just hot
swap the word pokemon into that sentence it is exactly the same the problem is nintendo's saying
at this time you're not arguing with joe blow or joe bin or whoever the fuck on on some forum
nintendo is telling you that or they've tried internally and hated the results and keep failing
but i'm gonna go they're actually going the opposite direction the director for fucking
uh pokemon uh go is like we need to make games simpler for the young people who don't know how
to play video games on their phones yeah and and and you know game freak you know if they want they
would have up to this point like i don't know like somewhere there must exist a concept video for
you know well they fucking like people have made them themselves themselves and we've seen like
the ad for like like uh when they first launched the the niantic one you know pokemon go and stuff
like that like it's such a slam dunk it's just like it's just baffling that they haven't actually
tried it in terms of like money and popularity pikachu beat endgame day one ticket sales worldwide
because pikachu is there but that but like yeah like alone yeah which you know pokemon is the
biggest thing ever two weeks later and then on the first day and whatnot like endgame is
still top of forever no but what i mean is it's like the fact that just putting pikachu on that
fucking movie marquee yeah is not absolutely and it's like you're telling me that what it won't sell
because it's on x but like or a fucking yeah it doesn't it doesn't have fucking like fuck
fucking shit um yeah so and also we're talking about a company that intentionally releases all
their games like four years behind a technology curve chat's calling it out and saying it's wrong
but i did see that it beat it i beat endgame on the same day yeah i saw that i did see that come
out but it's like yeah it's endgame's like third week or whatever so that doesn't that makes sense
it's not confusing but yes uh anyway i think uh you that partially correct i see in chat i'll live
with that i think you should go see that um it's fun what what what else did you do uh i played a lot
of dead by daylight not a whole lot you know honestly game wise watching shit wise the most
interesting thing that i did this week was c detect pikachu okay uh playing a lot of dead by daylight
that games the shit can't wait for fucking they fucked up and said that ghost phase is gonna be
coming dead by daylight has this really unfortunate development process where they're like i wonder
who the next killer could be and then they put out a patch and the killer is just selectable
and they go no shit fuck this wrong version shit and pull it down um that's happened like
i want to say like three times in the past year how fast uh do they do they release characters
uh every couple months they have a they have a update schedule that's like every three or four
months they put out a new killer a new survivor a new map and then you have your mid chapter update
which is quality of life shit uh server stuff you know stuff like that so i'd say like three killers
a year maybe four um and like over the past year like they like they fucked up and just like
they put out an update and ash from evil dead was just there on the character select screen
and then that shit got pulled down and then the next day here's the announcement from bruce camp
and it's like come on right and that happened with the killer before that and now happens with
ghost from ghost face from scream just keeps happening over and over and over whoever does
version control at that office seems to not be paying much attention to what they're doing
and it's hilarious the name ghost makes me sad now why because he was a good boy oh so i had a
moment when i saw people saying ghost face is the new killer in dead by daylight yeah my brain
auto completed back yeah are you for real ghost face killer is no no no that yeah that'd be the
oh my god that would be the best can we get a shout out to butang boulevard that has recently
been uh christened in new york that was awesome there's a real that's real oh man shout out to
is it even east coast i don't even know who tang's new york they're new york okay well then that
makes sense oh but yeah no i saw detective peak two and i played some video game right on this
week is a much better week for video games they got that rat game coming out uh plagues tail
and rage to hey woolly did you know that rage two comes out this week uh apparently rage two comes
out this week so i made it so two things happened over the past week and they're not news but i
guess i made a tweak i'm you know i'm looking for games to stream and i'm like huh rage two comes
out on tuesday what and i went all right let's find out if i'm an idiot and i'm just not paying
attention so put on a tweet hey did you guys know rage two comes out on on tuesday and i ratioed the
fuck out of myself i think i have four likes hundreds of comments going huh what rage two comes out
i thought that game got canceled or fucking like whatever all i know is i saw some tweet where
some guy gave it like a bad review and then the official rage account was like who are you so
some guy i forget his name he's a i think he's a either a forbes contributor or a somewhat small
youtuber or whatever goes and the article was that he wrote uh that rage twos marketing is
doing the game's no favor because nobody knows that it's coming out and rage twos twitter count
goes yeah who are you even and it's like i didn't know the game was coming out until i saw him say
that um ratioed means when you have more comments than likes or retweets yeah okay because it means
that people don't like what you said what you said is fucking stupid okay and everyone's arguing
with you instead of liking your shit yeah okay got it yeah i always thought that but i never
confirmed it yeah it also means that if you ratio somebody else it means your snide shitty
response to what they posted blows up way harder than theirs okay okay so they're like i ratioed
mr blizinski for example so it's the effective version of a dislike yeah got it okay um and it's
just like what that i guess that game's coming out i guess sure fine that's unfortunate um what i did
do uh besides those two things yeah is i played a bit more seki roe yeah and how's that going uh
yeah man i'm i'm i'm i'm i really really like uh i i i liked virgil two a lot i liked virgil
two a whole lot that was cool i think that's like so the final boss is the best thing in the game
virgil two is the second best thing in the game um and i was lucky enough to get like
the rad lightning mechanic thing they tutorial you tutorial you with i i managed to pull it off
it's pretty sick isn't it i just wish you had more i wish i had more chance to really like
use it a couple times because it's because i was like damn it was only i only got like one you know
so remember that for later all right that shit in mind the tutorial reminds you like four times
how to use it so cool um you'll you may want to remember how to do that later for when you will
really really want to know how to do it yeah cool sick uh i forgot that game existed yep
that shit is cool and i'm still enjoying it for the first time um hilarious hilarious uh
fucking hidden cave next to fire link shrine that leads to the top of anor Londo lies lies
that is the worst ever which almost makes me think why could we not have simply opened this door
because it would infect the boy so if you push on it earlier in the game he goes to nudge on it and
goes and stuck so there's like a plank of dark souls rubble blocking it dark souls rubble and it's
like it's it's like it is such a lie it is such a big fucking lie unbelievable it it is it is so
crazy the audacity the audacity of this bitch it's it's crazy isn't it um i remember i did it and i
got out of the thing like what this but so um there was a big tunnel underground that you didn't
see Sekiro run along for multiple minutes that's the only explanation it's locked Sekiro here's
the thing yeah um after i finished that last session kind of thought about it
i gotta i gotta say every time the kid opens his mouth i i kind of don't give a fuck okay um
um ishons of badass and was cool like the sculptor the plot is just kind of there right
yeah that's right yeah and the boy represents just being kind of there the boy is a macguffin
so like yeah that so as he goes on about the you know the like the just the he he is a macguffin
but he keeps talking about the extra macguffins so the bath mode adds to the dragon tears of the
fart of the dragon needs to be captured in the bottle so that the gas of the dragon fart can be
used to sever the ties by the way by the way i will have to and banish the ghost i will have to
send you a list of things because there's a bunch of optional bosses and shit sure that you can
miss out on permanently if you don't do a bunch of stupid conditions yeah um in particular there's
one boss that i know you will curse yourself if you miss okay it's just it's getting really heavy
in the introduction of new macguffins yeah while the core conflict is kind of just this floating
oh they told you you need the second macguffin now and and um you know vergele's doing his thing
and he's rad and i like that he exists but i'm still waiting for the plot to do something yeah
well you're gonna wait a long time such as forever yeah that's right okay yeah you're gonna meet new
children with new macguffins and you're gonna be just as unsatisfied this is the point at which
shit should have started to pop off in terms of story but uh that game has okay that game has a
dark soul story told more simply yeah and it turns out that isn't actually more interesting people
said that's what they wanted forever turns out not a whole lot happens in these stories so it's
much better for them to be obscure also the wolf is basically japanese solid snake yeah ancient
japan solid snake he's kind of just he's what muff he's kind of just muffing his way through
every conversation yeah and and uh just in this role of forever uninformed yeah and uh not really
contributing a ton safer one decision so far yeah so but we'll see we'll see um game fucking cool
and fights cool yeah uh holy shit uh at the uh iato style or iato style uh fucking yukio type
dude that does the double slash aka the swallow cut oh you mean the mini boss that looks impossible
and then when you do beat him you beat him in like four seconds that's exactly what happened to me
i was literally going about it the hard way you get blown up blown up blown up and i found
i found a way to brute force it too oh yeah i found a way to brute force it by always side
stepping left yeah and taking a swing kunai follow-up and then backing off but then you just go well i
see the little flash what if i wait half a second and pop up oh he's dead he died yeah yeah so they
really woolly yeah remember that for later oh yes i'm i'm actually after seeing how that went down
i'm excited to see him return so the big problem with that game is what is
how to put this they've replaced builds with player skill you learn to do what to block that
that unsheath slash right you learn how to deal with the lightning shit you're not building for
it you're not making a character that has arrows or a big big sword right that's super awesome
right up until you hit that new game plus button and you realize like there's nowhere
more for the game to go and it that game is a 10 out of 10 until you finish it and now i have
forgotten that game i'm serious i've literally forgotten that game exists and the bummer that
i see with that is like bloodborne is not quite as good in the moment but i'll go play bloodborne
right now and you pick the fucking cane or or whatever and that's the problem is that like the
thing that would have been that variety should have been or i guess would be the prosthetic tools
right now i'm really limited i'm right now i'm still in it but uh uh yeah it feels very like
they have they serve a function and they're not exactly competing for your attention because
there's some clear winners and clear losers what's your color winner right now um fireworks is rad
it's really shuriken is rad because it allows it it lets me stinger in yep until i saw that i
could get a stinger yeah but right um and uh i love the second blade as a concept yeah with the
poison and whatnot um i don't know how long i don't know if i'm gonna keep it but it's a cool idea
but function-wise fireworks and shuriken are fucking doing it the axe also puts in a lot of work
and the shield i don't know if you got it is like a hard counter to certain types of stuff
and that's also disappointing because the the weapons are not weapons they're solutions to
problems and you sometimes need all of them depending on who you're dealing with so shield guys
while you can technically yeah beat them normal if you have the axe you just they're done exactly
exactly there's other guys it's like well you could just blah or you could just use the shield
and just ignore that mechanic just pull out the pokemon type counter yeah and that makes them feel
really really really limited yeah um and you know like things where you can go like oh the
follow-up will like ignite your blade on fire but i'm like i still have no reason to keep this
fire equipped until i encounter someone who hates fire yeah uh and like even the fireworks you're
describing are actually a hard counter to beast enemies yes but specifically but they stagger
people too yeah so what i mean is that like when when you run into beast enemies why would you use
anything other than the fireworks because they they actually damage the beast's poise yeah unlike
every other weapon that you have yeah it's you know so they have a set function for a set time
and place and then otherwise you're like you know it's it's a game of hard counters instead of a
game with soft counters uh here's the other thing i really dislike uh is i'm start i i didn't fully
grasp until last session uh just how um the upgrade tree works in but in both upgrade trees yes i don't
like either of them i don't like either of them either the upgrade tree for your prosthetics
seems to categorize things in a way that you at first you would assume is logical and then you
find out as you get more items this is actually wildly illogical completely nonsense so in order
to upgrade my dagger i need to upgrade the shield i don't care about the shield what the fuck do
you know like buff your axe to upgrade your dodge then buff your dodge to upgrade your shuriken
and i'm like what but i if i'm trying to build and i guess the game just wants you to generally
be like they don't want you to to to glass cannon any of the prosthetics yeah they want to force you
to have the all of them growing in a in a in a in a balanced way but then don't even put the choices
out like it's funny that you mentioned that because they actually changed the way spirit
emblems worked in a patch that came out a few weeks ago i heard they toned down the amount of
spirit emblems are required by a lot so you can use the prosthetics way more i heard they balanced
because when you were playing through the game right away it's like you got like four uses of that
axe before you were out and it's like and i'm not going to use the axe unless it's a hard counter
and i just got something that uses spirit emblems for something else entirely yeah right ninjutsu
yeah so i'm like i have a i have a second reason to the waste resources in certain situations spirit
emblems are even more valuable than ever now fuck i'm not gonna waste the upgrades the upgrades spirit
emblems make me laugh i hate it you start with 10 and your items take three two three or four
and then ninjutsu's take like seven right you get you spent you get six was mine you get multiple
levels you get that upgrade for spirit emblem congrats you can now carry 11 spirit emblems and
it's like that's not even a functional difference exactly i'm actually i actually can't even use
this thing i'm using one more time because it's it's split the difference like what the fuck yeah
so um so the upgrade tree for the the items for the prosthetics is is nonsense in the way they
placed it uh their intentions are clear what from what they wanted but it's probably just one of the
worst ways you could done that i think the other thing about it and then the upgrade tree for the
abilities is weird because um it looks like a path you can choose to get to the result you want
but it actually isn't because you have to fill out the whole path on one side to get to the end
so like you have to yeah well basically but but the end is locked behind two paths because it
because it like it's like a tree that expands and you go i just want to be aligned to this
move on the way to the final move and then you get there and it goes no you need to have all
the connecting nodes to unlock this fucking so you actually have to be aligned two things
including possibly buying some spirit emblems you don't want to buy but like the skill tree
has a way bigger problem than that the skill tree has and it's a problem of the control scheme
the the problem is is that there are two types of uh there are three types of abilities you can
get on your skill tree there are passive buffs you take less posture damage you uh give more
posture damage there's a there's a type of trees like you get more money from enemies yeah just
totally passive buffs great those are fine then you have attacks then you have increased your
stats in some way uh more health or more spirit emblems or whatever right that's fine i guess even
though they're pretty weak and you have your third one which is active skills and you go okay well i
got a i got an active skill which is like it's an elbow strike double itchy mungy or it's a double
itchy mungy which by the way is the best move in the entire game fucking easy rules yeah here's the
problem rules here's the problem you get it almost immediately nothing will ever be better than it
i heard that the stinger is pretty good it's good for stinging but against bosses you definitely
want that itchy mungy double but here's the thing half of the moves on your tree are active moves
and you can only have one at a time so it doesn't matter how many of them you buy how often are you
hit start go in your menu change the move do the move go okay now i'm far away from the guy okay
hit start change into the stinger do the move you do that three four times against the boss
you are now out of spirit emblems you're now doing the garbage version of each move like
it is it is so it is like if you picked if you're playing don't make cry and i know these are
different genres and you bought every move for for the sword but you can only use one at a time
exactly it's like well i was i don't know what the fuck they were supposed to do well i was going
to say that like this seems to take a system it seems to take like a thing where you have a move
list for a weapon in like a souls game but then they also wanted that move list to be the weapons
yeah you know you equip a weapon to get a move list right and in this case we're chopping up the
move list into single equips it's like i that all serve different functions i feel like they should
have combined the two skill trees and been like you unlock a new move for the prosthetic instead of
like like any new moves you let you get way less new moves over the game for your character but you
always get to do them and then you unlock a new move to for the prosthetic and you do unlock
new moves for the prosthetics and they're all terrible they're all awful okay well yeah these
advanced sword techniques it's like yeah the the switch between when you're kind of like
i mean i can understand it being overpowered if you had access to all of them in that way
but the way i don't know how you'd control it either they're neat but there's there's a happy
medium between having access to all and having access to one by the end of the game i had where
you can simply pause and switch it when you by the end of the game i had access to double
the shimonji the elbow strike the fucking the kicks the the the unsheath attack the move you get
from the final boss you can only use a new game plus the like and like four others here's the other
thing and i could only use one and there was one that was better for most situations so those other
moves might as well not fucking exist now you're also cycling through prosthetics based on the
three you equip but if you ever want to you can simply pause and put the other one on what's the
point of even having that system at all so you're really just looking at a like it's a it's a like
sanity limiter yeah right so that you don't feel like um dmc five dante after you unlock
switch between all weapons mode yeah right but i really yeah it kind of is nonsense when you
think about the fact that you're like i could play this in a more annoying way to get what i wanted
by pausing in the middle of fights all it would feel like shit you don't want that to happen
but if i want access to these tools because the game has an amazing flow when you're in it when
you're in it and you're fighting a bunch of dudes so yeah so if i don't have to run back to a bonfire
to equip anything or something just just let me do it just let me cycle through all of them you
know and i mean here and here's there's here's the counterpoint right what about in souls when
people pause and go and switch weapons and armor like super quickly in the middle of their fight
right yeah that sucks to do yeah uh i don't know if like the best way would be you know what you
know what i was about to say like cycle but it was like weapon wheel yeah why not active weapon
wheel right um replace just just give a take a button and make it so that when you hold it down
you just do the radio i'm really glad that you just said that because i have a question for you
yeah and if depending on your answer i have a big advice for you because i there is something
they changed in sekiro to focus on certain mechanics that i believe is a straight up mistake
and i have not heard anyone who disagreed with this have you changed your controls at all i have
not there's one change you should make because it makes the game appreciably more fun to play
and easier because the game is so aggressive would that happen to be the square button uh
square is what collect money no okay not that one okay so you notice that in dark souls
if you wanted to change your spell you'd hit up on the d pet and you'd hit triangle to
so i know you hit square to sip your estus right mm-hmm well in this game squares like a money
pick up whatever up is to use the pop is to use the item triangle try to switch your
your spell your static whatever guess what there's a lot of really hyper aggressive boss fights
that taking your fucking thumb off that left stick to hit up on that d pad will kill you yeah
but how often really are you like having to fucking hard quick switch multiple times in a
fight to change your prosthetic is the answer fucking never yeah because it is switch those two
because i'd rather switch it with uh square with money whatever fuck it put the put the
potion button on the button but the problem is that the money button is also the hang from
ledge button sure fuck it that's why i just say switch up and triangle because like
there are boss fights coming up on which like i was getting wrecked and then i switched it
and then all of a sudden no problem what i end up doing in in those situations is is kind of
similar to what i had to do before i optimized my my weird hybrid layout yeah where i'd have to
let go of the right side of the controller and hit the d pad and then re grab it that's stupid
yeah it is that's really stupid but when movement is more important than attacking i keep running
and then i press it with my right hand i'm not saying you're stupid i'm saying that stupid but
also in securo gotta hold that circle button down to sprint yeah so like it dude it's there there's
like the last optional boss fight the last boss and a two-phase boss fight that you're coming up on
are like really bad with the default controls and i see why they did it because they wanted to tell
you that switching your prosthetics is super important but it's not it's really not i i actually uh
i ran into a problem each time i came back to the game after a while uh where i was
clicking uh l3 accidentally yeah thinking i'm gonna i'm gonna sprint and then end up crouching
instead in a situation where you get backed into a corner yeah and the boss lock-on breaks
because that happens a lot yeah so like for example fighting virgil 2 i had to every time he
backed up he backs up huge he jumps half the screen away yeah right and every time he does that he
backs up into a wall i had to refuse to fight him until he moved forward yeah until into the center
because the moment you try to fight anyone off the wall you can't lock on anymore yeah um so if
anything i i wish i'd want to deal with the the sprinting on on circle over to uh l uh r3 or l3
rather because that accidentally crouching is super death and i i'm sure there are people
well name names who are like the default controls are fine you're just bad yeah it's like
motherfucker i beat the final boss in sub half hour and like five tries go fuck yourself yeah and i
mean a lot of people didn't have any problems it is a better way to play the game a lot of people
didn't have any problems with it and uh you know i understand that i've played up to this point
without switching it at all i played and i could continue um but you're right i hit about 60 70
percent and then i changed it and then about 10 minutes later i was like this is just this is
better so i'd advice you to try it out yeah because my problem right now is that i've already
formed habits yeah well you know you'll you'll i got used to nero yeah i you got used to nero's
gun on trigger it's fine right still great game though yeah i i want to see big changes to
mechanic to the the skill shit is actually my biggest gripe by far is you i have all these
cool skills you unlock a bunch of cool shit when you beat the game and i'm like uh so one of the
other changes they did is they made the moves that you do with your with your l1r1 cost way
less spirit emblems because the really big ones cost a shit ton and it's like oh great i can use
like this i can use one prosthetic and three cool unsheath attacks before i'm out and then i'm
gonna hit pause and switch to a move that doesn't require spirit um it sucks it sucks um i'm kind
of not bummed but something i would have loved because i thought i was gonna get it and i guess
it didn't happen was remember the member the boss fight with the bull not the bull with the uh the
rider yeah first dude uh fuck out of my yard yeah i was hoping that there would be a perhaps at the
cost of spirit emblems uh shinobi grapple what you're locked onto right sure uh not even not even
snatch but yeah uh pull me to you yeah so the one for grabbing big guys type of thing i like i
as a mechanic that exists on every boss above a certain size yes that forces you to back off
i would have loved to have it on anything except at the cost of yeah emblems so that it's not great
that would have been cool right because that feeling of grabbing on and jumping through the air to come
in because you get attacks out of the shinobi grapple right so just give me those opportunities
to use it that would have been so cool yeah one of the upgrades is like you can attack when grappling
to a ledge and it's like i think i use that for how many enemies are standing right on the ledge
like very few yeah yeah exactly very few and then the boss that calls for it it's like well there's
one and maybe another but yeah um all right well well hey if somebody wanted to check out your
Sekiro shit and your other shit where would they go woolly woolly versus on twitch and woolly versus
on youtube and you would have to type out the word versus yeah but either way it's not vs it's
vs us and it's wo li but i'm not very hard to find what about you sir oh if you wanted to see me
be bad at video games or whatever uh i stream uh almost week uh almost every week night except
for mondays and sometimes on the weekend over at twitch.tv slash angriest pet yeah i sometimes
guest star over at uh on the twitch.tv pizza live stream as well mm-hmm and you know what else we
should do officially announce that we're gonna be at rtx oh yes hey we're gonna be at rtx if you're
at rtx you can come say hi yeah so uh and then i'll wave to you down in the texas down in the west
texas officially announced that town of el paso uh we mentioned it here and there but like we didn't
do the heart confirm yeah okay somebody asked me if i was gonna be there i was like yeah i'll totally
be there i didn't think anything you know i'm saying it yeah yeah so as we are partnered with uh
rooster teeth we are definitely gonna be hanging out down there uh and that is happening on the uh
fourth uh sixth and seventh of july yes july yes so uh come on down come see us come hang out
we'll be chilling at uh the rooster teeth yeah
our cockadoodle do they told us we had to say that we said they said you had to make chicken noises
rooster beast i could see that in fact seco has rooster beasts it does i stabbed the
shit out of those fucks no explanation at all like the game doesn't even i thought they would be the
noise and lenders i thought they'd be the things that just attack me and then they just don't do
anything yeah so that's cool uh let's go into the news hey before we do that uh is it safe to take
a righteous piss in your bathroom uh you can take a righteous piss as long as i go through that way
not this way yeah you have to go through that way in that way yeah okay i'll be right back because i
got a i got a i got a righteous piss yeah you know what i mean the one that's like you're emptying out
a bucket a piss that has been blessed yeah man the priest touched your balls you know and he
blessed the insides the contents because that's where the pee is stored we all know this um
yeah well all right while he does that i mean shit dog what am i what am i to do here keep
going on the the fucking i mean i said my piece about game of thrones and uh you know what i'm
definitely going to be uh going into a further discussion with like the actual spoiler things
and full on full on talk is going to happen uh over on my channel once the show is done
um i think i'm done i'm think i'm gonna sit down with punch mom and we're just gonna go over it
because there's too many like intricate details of like all the seasons we're gonna have to kind of
formulate the thoughts and put it all together but uh it would make way make way more sense to
have that discussion in in a different way and and and literally go through this full
spoiler cast so because it does yeah it doesn't really work here i'm just what am i gonna do just
kind of rant and go on to myself come on doesn't fucking you know but yeah look forward to that
look forward to that further uh i'm going to eventually do a game of thrones like full on
feelings about the whole thing when it's done um probably gonna do that with punch mom um at some
point after those credits roll because uh you know like there's a lot there's a lot of emotion
there's a well there's a lot of of of um excrement ah yeah to wade through uh to get to the old
garden you know oh i forgot uh also this week you can find me talking uh uh some uh bollocks
over on the level clear podcast once again uh nick went ahead and invited me and went on there
and talked with him and salty and tough and we had a grand old time in which i found out that rat
game coming out tomorrow or today actually looks really cool it's a plagues tale you seen that
shit uh i don't think it's about a little girl in france who needs to escape from the rats it's
got rat physics you know world war z yeah with that with the zombie shit yeah rats with that
shit with rats vermin tie no no no no like actual rats like like like squeak squeak i'm a rat
okay there's the big rat that makes all of the rules okay i can't get that song out of my head
guys i really can't have you seen that shit what the fucking that weird cg abomination with the rats
no they're singing no there's the big rat that makes all of the rules uh no oh i can't get out of my
head oh you know what i actually i started i'm i'm about halfway through the the office actually
what i actually i started to sit and watch the u.s office because i've always just been one of those
jerks that everyone hates that goes on the u of the uk the england yeah because i legitimately do
like loved it and uh i'm watching this one and um yeah it's it's a very easy easy press next
binger yeah it's very much like 30 rock and it's very much like um parks and rec and yeah hey
fucking breaking news right holy shit the office is an easy to watch program yeah still many people
still for the original though still for the original but i feel like british comedy is better
suited to that like pathetic shit it depends on what type of you want yeah it depends on how
what you want to be like pathetic miserable shit because like steve correll is he's less cringe
and more just stupid whereas yeah i've seen gervais in the original office and it's like i want to
fucking die watching yeah it makes it so uncomfortable david brent is uncomfortable
and and and michael scott is a buffoon yeah you know um very very particular feel to the
very very particular type of cringe you know um but yeah british love to make unpopular opinion
i know the british seems to just love to make comedy in which they feel bad about themselves
yeah yeah what's up with that uh yeah uh it the deep page self-hatred and loathing yeah for
the monarchy and i don't know the history of um the conquering imperialism world conquer i don't
know who knows you know it's just paper mm-hmm uh yeah so let's talk the news but
fuck it i don't even know what i was going for well the news the news everything that's fit to
print not no no we're never gonna get this news printed news doesn't even get printed anymore
did you guys hear this is a game of thrones xbox
game of thrones x box perfect timing wow look at it there's a there's a xbox that's coming out
this game of thrones branded and one of them has the the targaryen logo on it and the other one
has like the iron thorns swords on it and then the other one is like ice themed but it's like
it doesn't even matter because that part of the story is irrelevant xbox who cares where that one
went wait what what seriously huh all right a song of fire and sursey is this a leak or is this an
announcement this is a this is an official xbox website pit photo oh wow look at that that's crazy
yeah bam sure do love my game of thrones on xbox xbox yeah look at those swords there's
swords on the xbox uh actually it's a it's an xbox one s what a great time to announce this deal
xbox one s ad digital edition sure hope there's no more xbox deals xbox one sad x bone sad x bone
sad um yeah is that today that gonna uh like yesterday i mean um yeah you know it's simultaneous
sometime this weekend i suppose somebody watched game of thrones and it was like yeah this is the
time to hit hit publish on that cms gotta get that hot news out there i mean look you know what'll
show your love of game of thrones on xbox yeah like i feel bad for anyone trying to get on that
business train now where they're like the hottest new thing and they're like let's go game of thrones
the world loves it it's a phenomenon they couldn't have possibly imagined i'm sure it was gonna be
the way it did i would imagine that there is a year or two old business deal about game of thrones
that we have yet to see that somebody made back when game of thrones was the most surefire bet
that ever was and it hasn't been revealed yet and there are people going oh fuck because god damn it
because you know what sometimes when you strike while the irons hot it's too hot that iron is
gonna cool down way faster than you thought it would that iron is about to turn to ice oh no
and i'm stuck in the ice i can't get out oh shit there goes the flesh yeah that sucks man
um so yeah uh that's happening that's hilarious uh other fun things happening
include one fucking awesome announcement that i'm extremely happy to hear because
i've always wondered why this hasn't appeared more frequently and uh neo was the first time i
think i saw it acknowledged but motherfucking yasuke aka the real afro samurai the actual
original black samurai is going to be a film and Chadwick bozeman is Chadwick bozeman going to be
the black man like the icon uh because he's black panther yes and now he's going to be
the black samurai well it depends on uh whether or not he has to battle uh Mahershala Ali for the
roles because he's also the black man yeah and he's the guy that is on the oscar stage multiple
times a year oh yeah so that's the they should be in a movie together maybe but Chadwick is
definitely getting it he's getting his work in there but yes he's the weeb choice he's the wee
yes Chad a Chadwick Chadwick is the weeb choice absolutely all right he's doing it for every
fucking comic book geek in every super week what come on michael b jordan what are you doing yeah
this is your shit yeah play vegeta in something he's trying but he's he's not you know he's also
he's yeah i think that Chadwick bozeman's been around longer and michael b jordan should have
been reversed in black panther uh uh michael b jordan has been around longer and and you know
he got fucking fantastic ford he did he got he got fan four sticked yeah and he's also
fucking creed right so yeah oh he is he totally is right he has his own thing yeah he has his own
thing but this is cool can't wait for more and uh the interpretation of yasuke from neo is rad i
can't wait to see how he's in neo i didn't know that oh yeah man um let me see if i can pull up
i didn't know he was in neo he's so fucking cool because you know how everyone's got their spirit
animal yeah uh yasuke in neo has a fucking bear so that's dope and uh he's got his giant axe oh he's
an axe fighter that's awesome he just fucking hangs out uh and he does this thing if you if you
google yasuke neo that's so cool he's got a bear stand and an axe on his shoulder and he is the first
and true black samurai and that shit's rad and it's super real because there really was a do
you think i should be in that movie no he did his thing no check out the real photo of actual
black samurai yasuke oh i thought you were gonna click a photo and it was gonna be him standing
next to a bear and be like yeah no that was real well anyway so you can google that to see what
we're talking about uh folks who are playing at home uh i just saw that photo of the xbox with
the the swords on it and i fucking started to crack up again because it's because it's i like the
swords well i like that one i actually that's the coolest of the three it's just like you know it's
like it's just like here's your playstation branded with um darling in the francs here's your
you know it'd be awesome if the ice themed one was like extra powerful like it had like more hard
drive space yeah and it had like better processing power yeah and it was actually like a halfway
next-gen console and then uh it has like a really long boot up time though yeah and then before it
boots up it just bricks yeah yeah that would suck that would suck only that model though only that
one yeah yeah and then you got to take it back to the store and then they replaced it
with the with the thrones one uh the swords one they don't refund you no no you got to pay for it
yeah well anyway that was highly specific
uh you want to share with the class or are we good you're good yeah okay um
let's just let's just elephant in the room all right so what i saw was here's your pro jared
branded switch okay that's a terrible idea it's a bad idea i don't think that's a good idea i don't
think you should buy that nope it's not doing hey whoever said that comment in the chat that's funny
let's not do that don't do that oh don't do that i think that's the i think that's the takeaway
from that story hey don't do that
trying to yeah you're trying to put the piece together trying to click yeah
oh there's something there's there is something to be said one of these joycons doesn't fit on one
side of the screen but this other one over here fits all right all right uh there's something to
be said in the new world in which we live yeah in which people in our profession have put out so
much fucking footage and voice clips out there yeah that when this shit hits boy it's fucking meme
central like never was it really is and you know um i guess the reason why i bring a brother
fella in the room is because everyone is pretty much i think and it's like this people like i hate
this shit because it's people's personal lives yeah it's it's ugly and it's shitty and it's
fucking just it's messy it's messy um and clearly like what the fuck were you thinking awful um but
like this is not you know what i mean how much you really want to sit here and go like get into
that dirt i'm not i'm not fucking drama alert you know what i mean we're not we're not trying to
keep starting on video game tmz we're not trying to do that so so hey everyone at home sorry to
hear that news it really does be kind to each other don't be shitty don't be shitty and do your
best we would like to just move on yeah you know um i think uh there was definitely some big fucking
big drops in terms of uh what sony's showing because hey we gotta we've got a hot look
at what's going on in the state of play final fantasy seven still a multi-part game still
multi-part game do not think it is a single game maybe the fact that they didn't show anything
outside of the first hour of the game in that trailer should have tipped you off first game's
gonna be uh midgar midgar whole game you're gonna hit that you're gonna you're gonna the final thing
in that game hit the map is gonna be the boss fight after the fucking uh motorcycle race now here's
the question how long will midgar be uh in the original game it was like five to ten hours i'm
gonna call 20 plus replay so what i'm gonna say is this is gonna be crisis core there's gonna be
like the main shit and that's gonna be eight but then there's gonna be all sorts of side missions
you could take in in shit and you know like whatever i think i think there's gonna be 20
plus replay yeah um you know maybe 15 so if you beeline it i uh i'll do my best here but i'm
definitely not max max has an eye for this shit yeah but no one has especially for ff7 yeah um
but i looked at this trailer quite a bit shout outs to gospel barrett and yeah right isn't that
nice and the lord said for real i'm here to carry you so i we all knew they were gonna change
what barrett was like because they can't just do mr t that'd be fucking nonsense and then it'd be
goofy at the very least and then and then they go yeah boisterous gossipy like i'm my shoulders
here to carry the look like great fine awesome still the same spirit of like big tough scary black
man with a gun arm mm-hmm and but it's like just play the play the fucking gospel choir in the
background yeah i like jesus i think jesus hallelujah and it even works because why why are we doing this
barrett let's go cloud barrett why do we gotta blow that up mm-hmm why do we gotta blow it up barrett
for the planet we gotta save the planet and god it's like that righteousness behind yeah okay that
works uh i fucking eco terrorist i i eagerly await fucking 30 year old like 30 year old sorry
25 year old hot takes in the making you play as a fucking ecological terrorist in this game yeah we
know yeah it came out in 97 yeah you're blowing up corporate offices to save the environment
the themes in this game are actually pretty out there so we know all the reasons or rather we
know a lot of the reasons about how and why they've wanted to wait so long to make it because they
want it to be perfect and such right do you think they will have the balls to potentially change
or retcon motivations or characters um i think that would be a massive mistake by adding too much
or over elaborating where they don't need to so and possibly making people hate or turn the corner
on events i think that or do you play it safe so did you play crisis core uh yes but uh and i
know about the ending but i didn't play it through the whole thing okay so this is their shot because
ff7 compilation did what you're describing it added a lot of motivations and it went back and it added
things and those turned out to be universal mistakes yeah everything they ever added to this
game story outside of that game yeah was disastrous in one case in terms of the stuff in crisis core
and the very post credit scene in um dirge of cerberus were so bad that planned expansions of
that universe got killed gacked gacked killed gack the compilation of final fantasy so i think
they're gonna i think they need to and i think what they're showing us here is playing it safe on
purpose yeah every single line of dialogue or camera shot is a scene that is burnt into my child
mind even jesse hopping the turn style like that these minuscule little moments i suspect that uh
as far as main events and story and whatnot as far as that goes i think they are definitely going
to stick to the exact script yeah well the rewritten better sounding script sure sure then
the original which was like notorious for its poor translation uh but there will probably be
side quests yeah with unrelated new characters sure and unrelated otherwise uh you know connected
events yeah where new things happen so um i looked at this trailer a lot and then i went back and i
looked at the old trailer and i can i feel very confident but these are not knowledges these
aren't even me going i wonder and shrugging and then winking at you guys kind of thing these are
pure speculatory um i look at the models from the last gameplay trailer in this one i look at the
lighting i look at the movement i look at the camera every single thing cyber connect to did on
this game got thrown in the garbage this is a complete start over um it looks it very much
looks like that original one was based off the 15 shit and they were told like cyber connect was
like making it work like 15 this while at first glance when you watch it does share obvious like
camera placement and stuff with 15 you played 15 the biggest problem with 15's combat engine is
that when i hit square i want noxus to swing his goddamn arm i don't want to just hold a button
down and then noxus sorry noctis noctis will just choose when he decides to swing it's deciding
whether it wants to be an rpg or an action game right and it felt really bad with a bunch of the
different weapons particularly the slow ones because you'd you'd hit it and it would it would
play like monster hunter or something you look at cloud cloud is swinging the sword like it's a
fucking action game right now it may not be the best action game in fact it probably won't but
there are people who work at that company that worked on kingdom hearts 3 and that game at
very least plays well so there's potential there it could play well right it could be fine
as long as it doesn't feel like 15 that's fine crisis core actually played relatively well
it had that stupid shit with the slot machine which was really bad i don't know if you remember
that i do but like when you when you hit x on zax attack button he swings he swung the fucking
sword yeah so it was fine yeah and that's really that's that's a low bar man but but that is the
difference between what's like square is in the now is in the place where squares identity is kind
of tied to that four item that that attack item spell run kind of menu you know what i mean and
they have to choose at any given point which they want people to feel yeah and the choice to do one
or the other as well the auto attack versus uh pressing x to swing is also a difficulty thing
for people i think that the the the the most promising thing you see in that footage is you
see you see cloud block an attack with the sword right because i mean you you played some kingdom
hearts that you are in a move that's a block and you have an attack and that's really all you need
yeah but like that's you need a defensive option a movement option an attack and you can make a
decent game out of just that also you've got a party to play within this game so did you ever play
15 after the update they made that you can choose party members no switching between them was awful
it you had to like essentially pause the game and switch over oh it wasn't like a button no wow
and all the other characters are way stronger than noxus especially gladiolas because they were built
for their own dlcs with their own combat mechanics that often didn't get ported back into the game
so like gladiolas is fucking nuts okay when you play that thing like let me hit left on the d-pad
and have the camera swing over to bear it yeah let me hit left on the d-pad have the camera swing
over to eris yeah eris that's what i've been saying for years yeah i know it's erith i know i know
somebody so yeah it was always supposed to be erisu right and then somebody pointed out that pat
you or actually point out to plague you being like yeah it's eris because of this and the th
doesn't exist is the same people who are like no it's gatsu and grifesu asshole and i'm like all
right i'm not going to be that person i'm not going to fight that but isn't this a super solvable
thing you can go by just tapping a dude on the shoulder and saying hey which did you mean you
would think and then they and then they go erisu and then you go no but like uh well there's a
couple problems with that whose shoulder did you tap yeah you tap namuras or hiner nobusaka guchi
the person who doesn't work there and hasn't worked there for like a decade plus um and then do you
explain the the letter problem or yeah so anyway it's not even that important it's it's really not
i'll live just call her eri yeah hey you know what's really important and i agree with my boy my rat
boy clumps our our our friend of the show rat man clumps having a fucking tiddy based meltdown on
twitter tiddy based meltdown where's teeth in that trailer where's she at she's on the character
select you can see her in the party where teeth at is she in the uh the fucking intro run intro run
when you jump oh you get her before eris man no of course what i mean i'm not trying to remember
if in the in the um the the fucking the manco reactor the intro it's you and barrett you and barrett
and then you go back to the bar and then she joins your party well no no it's you and barrett and it's
uh uh biggs and wedge yeah and and uh and jesse's there yeah so so yeah i mean she's not on that
mission no but you meet her later yeah you go back to the bar yeah and then you guys talk on the
playground and then you do all that bullshit and you go this and then you fall through the
yeah the fucking shit all we saw here was reactor yeah and then some sephora but eris is there true
she's in the party yeah so where's teeth at yeah where's she at or well hmm because eris is selling
flowers in the area she's she's not in the party until but she's not post root second reactor yeah
so already that's and also extra shit this is like a like a goofy little detail that i like
that they they put in they show like eris in the party and you're hitting cross slash which is about
when you would earn that that limit right well that means that there would then we already know
that there's changes if she's showing up in no no it's just they just didn't show teeth when you
look at the party list she's in the party they just don't pan the camera over to see her oh there she
is yeah right there right right right okay and it's like well where's she at is sony afraid to
show her we haven't seen it yet yeah is tifa banned on sony platform i mean i i'm wondering if we're
gonna get uh like more or less advent children versions of of like the characters in terms of
like the way they talk i'm not like that i wonder if they're gonna keep that stuff i am terrified
of getting advent children cloud this game if that's advent children cloud in this game this game
is dog shit because the version of cloud that we played in ff7 is a weird asshole who loves money
and talks shit and makes bad jokes and all sorts of stupid shit and is and the people in the party
make fun of him for not being cool enough to say cool shit when the stuff goes down
like he's was that how he was he's a fucking dork man hmm i don't yeah i'm struggling to remember
i don't i don't really remember his life is standing out like edge lord dork ass because i was paying
attention to it when i was playing persona i was paying attention to the parent the personality
of the main character is but uh back then i did i definitely just kind of internalized it as
yeah i and i guess he's just that that that main character quiet guy and then um the further like
and then there were the advent children and all the further stuff came out and they really made
him like this silent cool guy and then kingdom hearts made him a silent cool guy every single
thing that ever came out not quite squall but still just stoic stoic sad anime protagonist yes
when it's like no the slunk slunk uh sunken shoulders the whole point of cloud is that he is a
poser trying to be cool when he's actually a huge loser and then and zack is the real deal it does
kind of make sense that in the storylines after that he shows himself to be the total loser that he is
and mopes but in seven he thinks he's cool okay but he's really not because i'm saying both
describe both versions of cloud you're describing are the opposite of zack yeah right um clouds of
fucking uh i'd call him a like a ganky protagonist he's fucking cheerful and upbeat he's doing the
squats he's do he's fucking yeah let's do it i'm the hero but that actually is like wild man zack
yeah who's boisterously laughing and being fucking yeah direct and yeah straightforward
about what he wants and so on so yeah i don't know like like how do i put this like you know in a
situation in in ff7 advent children cloud like if somebody asks him hey do you want to do the job
he's like i guess i guess i'll have to i'll get you know and he'd mope about it yeah he would say
the same thing in ff7 but he would strike up like a weird pose and like look off into the distance
is like i guess i'll have like he's he's fucking posing yeah uh here's why i don't think you're
gonna get what you're asking for because the identity of cloud has been firmly solidified
as what advent children and uh the every remake thing has shown us so every kingdom hearts uh
every appearance in anything has been cloud the mope yeah so i doubt they're gonna switch that up
so the next trailer that they put out to this they're like here's the thing right there are like
three or four like really simple interactions that he has in midgar that you could just show
and you would know which one they're doing they they very intentionally do the one with
erith giving him the flower and that's spot on that's totally how he acts he's like but show him
talking to marlene show him talking a lot show him that next trailer i demand cloud and drag
mm-hmm and they and that's the one thing that's the one thing that gives me hope because namura
was interviewed about it and he's like we know there's a lot of goofy shit in that game and we
really think that it would be like dishonest almost to take a lot of those fun zany moments
out of the game so to fit later versions or whatever i i i was gonna say it earlier and
i forgot but like a perfect example of things scenes that will last way longer than they
originally did yeah with extra content oh yeah is going to be cloud in the dress there's gonna be
a shot there's gonna there should be a scene of tifa and erith like fussing over like his makeup
you know and just like dressing him up like a doll and he's embarrassed and Barrett's giving
him shit and all that like tea you know um yeah so and then someone will poke and then someone
will port it into that that animation studio and then everyone will be happy there's no and there's
no everyone will not be happy there is no way this game will ever come out and make everyone happy
i have a feeling that this game is gonna get delayed and get delayed and get delayed and get
delayed because like Game of Thrones is the big it's the omega what would you call omni shambles
omni shambles was one right uh yeah omega flub can't fuck this up nope can't fuck this up but
episodic means you get to steer correct you get to air correct no you dude medgar is the most
memorable part of that game this is the one they need nothing major nothing major not i'm not saying
remodel areas yeah but i'm saying like there can be moments or slight directional cues or little
things that they can steer to correct based on the reaction to chapter one so you know what else
is gonna happen right one this is coming out on the playstation five 100 yeah sure it might have
a playstation four base sure right but it's gonna be um and one one the three episodes come out or
whatever there's gonna be collection of final fantasy seven and they i bet you anything they're
gonna go and stitch them and and take whatever mechanical shit they do in the last one and roll
it back stitch them as in one continuous play experience i doubt it no i think you're just
gonna like go back to the main menu and load your save up i like i doubt that but no you know
they should do right they should say insert disc two yeah yeah the thing is though is that like the
this this if this if this does get that this would be the gigabotch right if it if it failed
you waited 20 years to do it and then you fucked it up oh my god but it only applies to the world
of video games yeah right there's a limiter on that yeah that does not apply to the world of
mass fucking media but as far as the world of video games go oh boy you get no bigger i cannot
think of a single thing to be more terrified of fucking up uh sonic 2 remake uh mario no no no no
man no it's it's not a mario game this is the one don't fuck this up this is the one and there's so
many things they have to get right think of the granularity in which we're discussing the temperament
of a character mm-hmm and then every individual character has to have that same faithfulness
including characters that weren't really well-defined and then you have to decide whether you want to
make uh uh kate sith have that weird hick voice or not yeah hey you know what let me ask you a
question in terms of or was it or was it said i forget who guy i said sit swears like a motherfucker
but they but the subtitles are we're fucking stupid you're supposed to have a consign accent
yeah so they had to turn a middle country boy yeah sure so let me ask you a question uh people at
home who remember ff7 there's a scene that's so we're talking pop-eye figures we're talking
pre-reader backgrounds the characters in any particular scene range from like an inch tall
to the whole screen depending there's a scene in which a young woman erith is afraid that she might
get horribly fucked by a horrible tiger monster and the fact that the it and all we need to show
is a tiger monster in a cage with her what the fuck are they gonna do with that shit
it was as a scene yeah yeah because i can't think of anything for that it's gonna be more
awkward to fucking animate completely forgot about that yeah right remember that thing remember that
thing in your rpg for the children were they implied that your female party member was gonna
get super fucked by a tiger monster hmm i just i just want to see the weapons to scale
that's all i want show me ruby weapons yeah no you know how they do it they
hojo show me omega weapon hojo says the shit they drop nanaki in the fucking tube erith looks at
him and he's scary and he growls and then he immediately talks in like a second like immediately
right there's no there's like right away like he tells her i'll just calm down yeah and then
they bust out just get get get away from that as fast as you fucking can there dude there is all
sorts of crazy shit people forget about you remember the bumblebee in
remember cloud with those buff dudes no there's a scene where cloud goes into a fucking buff dude
sauna and it blacks out and then he wakes up surrounded by a shit ton of buff dudes and they
go that was great wasn't it and there was a bunch of sound effects when it was blacked out
and there's cut content that people have found on the disc from that shit
uh remember when tifa and cloud fucked like rabbits underneath the airship out in a field
that happened yeah totally damn what are you gonna do with that like they're dude there's
so much that you don't have to show because you have pop-eye characters and pre-rendered
backgrounds yeah uh hey no for real i remember that scene i don't remember that scene i don't
remember much remember when i get i thought i did cloud goes nuts and he goes full on mma on erith
uh and just beats her up where in the temple of the ancients when he loses he knocks her down
to the floor and the pop-eye arms are swinging and left right left right left right until somebody
pulls him off they're gonna include that shit i can't even imagine i bet they're not even talking
about that because that's this too for sure pat you are presenting some very difficult problems
and they're not very comfortable and i think everyone at square would appreciate if you stopped
there is crazy shit i don't what do you do you are a girlfriend beating eco terrorist amnesiac
final fantasy seven what do you do and that's and that scene has to happen because that's how
sephroth gets the mcguffin you you you you make it so that like like you said where you see starts
talk red 13 starts talking right away yeah you give it the same moment yeah but you you stop it
before there's just one backhand you stop it before it goes to goes too far right but the
but the spirit is there go back and watch some of this shit i'm talking about and then pretend
a fucking lavishly created cg movie out of that shit you'll blow your fucking mind or she dodges
and then it goes oh yeah and yeah yeah you kind of wow i don't i completely forget a lot of that
much shit in that game dude damn i'm just like i remember when he turned around and walked into
the fire yeah yeah yeah that happened are we gonna see the the burnt charred corpses in that
scene oh yeah yeah you are for sure is his mom's legs gonna snap from the flames has she turtles
through the front door i mean it might not be attack on titan but we're gonna get it's gonna
be bad oh yeah for sure and and you know what you know what man and the the vincent basement
but there's the vincent basement god i think this this is a a fucking deep memory so i might be
wrong but i'm pretty sure after all that shit in midgard you get to coast of del sol and hojo
is chilling on the beach in his lab coat and you go up to him and he's like so despite all that
shit that like did that happen is that a is that a fake memory
okay that did happen he totally does yeah yeah he's yeah like
well maybe this is what took them so long arguing about how to actually handle how hard
should cloud beat his girlfriend i don't know she fights she can defend and dodge and use great
gospel yeah to heal herself yeah the the okay maybe this is out of my ass but like vincent
and yufi there's no way you're getting through that game without them being a mandatory they're
not going to do what they did the last time oh optional characters optional characters
fuck off you're going to make a character like yufi and vincent vincent especially
and be like oh yeah it's a bonus i think i think so no i think they'll make a hard hint
like a super hard hint about like because i can see it being a problem people were like yeah
i want to play like i did without them let me do that i think it'll be like you have to choose no
to turn them down i don't think so because like think of every group conversation but you didn't
pick up vincent oh jeez yeah think about that oh fuck wow yeah okay also vincent is more important
than almost anybody on the team um i mean there's already the whole like party conversation for the
people you're active with yeah and then there's the everyone standing around yeah um a pps yeah
whatever pph no something anyway yeah shit oh man that's hard okay well anyway um this game is
going to piss you off but you're still going to probably love some other parts of it but there's
no way it can do what your brain wants it to be because people had unique experiences that weren't
the same thing it can't do that but it can be pretty good yeah and as long as it's not if you're
willing to give it some breath i'll tie this back in the game of thrones as long as it is faithful
to the spirit of the original characters you can change it all day but don't make them into
the people that they're not right barrett's a good example or don't don't betray what they are
barrett's not mr t anymore that's fine the most important thing about barrett is that he's a bad
ass he loves ecoterrorism and he loves his daughter the most important thing about barrett is marlene
yeah right yeah and and i and i want i use those three in that example because those are the three
things you find about barrett in that order he's a bad ass he loves ecoterrorism loves ecoterrorism
but it's really about his daughter right as long as you nail those three things fine tifa
got big old titties that's number one slot machine dolphin kick wore that cowboy hat for that flashback
she has the the the trainer what's his name the the the martial arts guy sure that she gets with
because like she learns the shit from because clouds of pussy and didn't save shit second slot for the
titties um and uh you need the two and yeah flashbacker memories on the childhood uh playground
thing but hey she does that spin and flip and she jump remember she jumps off the wall remember
that shot remember she flips and that was so cool remember she hit the wall and she looks up it's
like oh and the flowers explode off the thing i remember that uh boy i actually uh think they
need to sell midgard as hard as possible um when the time comes to break the walls down
i think i think uh like the the horror of what goes down do you remember that dolphin jumping
shit outside of junon with the little girl where you learn how to ride the dolphins into the into
the fucking junon shit it's a whole mini game you remember that stupid shit no oh man oh fucking
defending condor tower we gotta protect the eggs from the souls oh man everything in that game is
fucking stupid what's the casino called again the golden saucer man is the sign gonna still
say get win yeah as it goes around in a circle uh what about the turks there i love the turks of
the turks are ever my actual turds are the absolute my actual favorites actual favorites and
they're their jobbers yeah but they wear suits so they're cool yeah also rufus is cool for that
reason as well he's dressed quite sharply is palmer gonna be are we gonna get a shot you know okay
you know you know when all the shin you're in the vents and you see the shinware executives doing
their evil bullshit right before palmer gonna be like eating a stick of butter and like he should be
and when he gets got how bad is it gonna be well he gets hit by a truck and gets flown off screen
oh i thought he got sephirated no palmer gets it by a truck it looks okay it looks like he's
gonna get indiana jones planed because the and then he dodges under it and then a truck hits him
okay and then he's dead because you never see him again ever motorcycle will probably be dope cool
yeah yeah totally looking forward to that motorcycle shit maybe we'll finally get to do
the big exploding flippy slash motorcycle thing from the the the movie that didn't exist from the
shot that wasn't in the movie that didn't exist oh man oh boy all right well anyway final fantasy
seven that's eagerly await that's a big one every potential piece of news ever about the
more will be at e3 yeah and um i would really like for them to have a person on a stage
with a controller in their hand and do like a eight minute little hey this is cloud you guys might
know him and walk around a room and hit an enemy this thing's gonna pull people that are in their
forties back you know my uh you know my buddy evan with this whole video game thing you know my
buddy evan yeah you know how he barely plays video games yep he's a total normal guy yep
fucking called fucking's up the other day saying hey um how much is a playstation for yeah exactly
cuz this found its way to him somehow yeah people with families that are out of the game literally
are gonna be moving units on this fucking game uh and showing their kids people are going to be
coming back from you know normal people who left this video game baby shit behind to go have real
lives and careers yeah they're hearing about it and going oh wow and showing their kids yeah
all that fun stuff you just described yeah that they assuredly don't remember i don't know what i
played that game a lot so i remember probably a lot more than the average person who played it 25
years ago but uh there's more that i'm forgetting there's lots more well um god bless uh final fantasy
and god bless medieval for trying to follow the act that is ff7 they really shouldn't have done it
in that order because how are you maybe possibly like going to uh really follow up ff7 now i'm
i'm gonna talk about this this is an exciting thing that then that that we knew was coming
but sir dan just doesn't have just doesn't write the same way the the the the rank he doesn't pull
rank like cloud does also i gotta say um i'm gonna point this out probably every time i ever see it
so apologies if you get annoying annoying guys i think it's really disconcerting when we see a
gameplay trailer that runs like shit i think it's really worrying when you're watching the hype
trailer and you're looking at the stage like fall apart in front of you and jump oh ff7
close the show my mistake oh i did okay good thank god but you know what i'm talking about right
when you're looking at it and they do the pan or they run through level and it's like a 15 frames
a second for that one shot you're like what is this game even ready for a trailer you know like
it's weird well um this is the complete opposite of the ff7 trailer in terms of lead up how much
gameplay you're seeing all gameplay because that's what medieval is really that's coming soon ish this
year and then he'll be in smash and then sony will just give up don't taste fucking coming to
smash don't taste coming to smash is that even a news item no because they it's not a news item
it's a feeling it's not on the docket devil's it's in the air devil may cry one comes to the switch
nothing else what that comic of like the doors oh yeah don't they can't be in smash because he's
got realistic guns blood on the fucking ground don't they can't be in smash because he's an
amrated game and don't they're about to walk into the door that says don't they can't be in smash
because there's nothing no dmc's on switch yeah it would it would i would mark out if it was dmc
one don't i and they went and got drew combs that would be bullshit that would be so upsetting
that would fucking oh my god could you imagine could you imagine the the oh oh god yeah no
that'd be awesome how you gonna do my boy like that that'd be great how you gonna do my boy like
that rooven would throw a shit fit dude that's wild the aliens took my role that's wild um
okay so yeah there's a couple of things as well uh we had medieval trailer uh then we got some more
details on iceborn coming out september 6th the monster hunter world expansion you uh moose monster
there you go so how you feeling about iceborn i feel good they uh so i mean some of this would
have flown over your head because you're not like i mean they put a teaser at the so they did this
trailer and then later they did a demonstration which i'm gonna talk more about that actually
because they showed off a lot more uh we got a moose monster we got uh what is essentially an
ice plesios or an ice uh lavia sawth or whatever uh we got the new flagship was a ice elder dragon
so uh woolly you're familiar with shalador it's the wind asshole the wind elder dragon the guy's all
metal there there's there's taeo which is the fire bitch there's narik gante yeah right and then
there's the metal dragon that wind right okay he used to be ice okay and everyone's like how come he
not ice anymore how come he's just wind because this is the new ice guy he's the new elder dragon
who's an ice guy monster hunter canada and then they uh they went and showed off the uh the the
demo and narka kuga's back he's great he's a classic he's the flagship for uh was it looks like a
colossus uh what does the face of this ice thing oh yeah the moose guy we're looking at the ice
bambaru i think his name is ice born trailer uh and then at the very end of their demonstration
there was a monster scream and it is a teagrex which is the other big big big fan favorite
is a very angry boy who yells and he like there's a bunch of how do i put this
you know when street fighter five yeah well we talked about it when it first came out about
how the list was slow and it didn't have a lot of the fan favorites and sagot wasn't in street
fighter five yeah and then the compilation game had all the fan favorites right teagrex is sagot
in that like that is the one-to-one in my mind and it's like oh good teagrex is here i remember
well i remember when that wasn't the case because it sounded like you were upset about nosen ogre
sonogre is also so for the longest while that was your complaint
no uh maybe maybe that's what i said but like teagrex is just he's the shit he needs to be there
okay he's a big deal it was i remember being a like what the fuck are you doing how could it not
be and it's also there's also a thing of like when you look at this it's like the types of gear
that they're associated with sonogre's another lightning guy but teagrex has a weapon
type that is missing from the game that needs to be in the game so so the inclusion of it includes
a new weapon yeah also when you when uh so the the other thing that you can speculate if you're
if you're a big fucking nerd is uh the way monsters get added to these games is based on their skeletons
does their skeleton exist you've just unlocked an entire type to be in the game right
uh so this is an ice expansion and narga kuga and teagrex the skeletons are going to be in the
game that means there's going to be a guy called barioff who's like a sabre tooth tiger wyvern
basically um but more than that they show the big toothy fucker called again well there's a lot
of big toothy fuckers sorry the the one who looks like he has a tooth on his head the the
name that's like what you just said that barioff sounds like sergeos no never mind forget it forget
it monoblos forget it forget it forget it give me a color baroff barath barath barath's in the
game yeah so what did you say before what did you bury off okay yeah i know i know dude we're talking
a hundred plus different monsters and they're all got weird japanese names what do you what do you
want from me something that's not one letter away from the other one i can't help you i that's not
me that decides that but what they also did is they showed off that the every single weapon is
going to get a new move and most of those new moves have to do with your launcher your stinger
uh not your slinger the the little uh what do you call it slingshot thing on your arm uh they
showed off the greatsword one which is you can dump the entire catalog of ammo like in between
your swings to guarantee a flinch on a monster in case they're going to interrupt you in between
swings so you do a big greatsword swing yeah and then he puts the the slinger out and dumps the
entire thing out in one shot before you swing again okay and then that's and that's gonna it's
very close range it's like five feet or something but it's gonna flinch the monster yeah and that
lets you get ready for that big second swing so you're gonna hit it they showed off uh with the
longsword uh snatch sorry no not snatch but this thing you wanted in sekiro where you latch on
and go to it and do a jump attack yeah that's coming to a bunch of different weapon types
hey uh stuff like that uh there's also new palico abilities and the one they showed is
your palico's ability to revive you from death um that's what that goop thing was yeah so it's just
like okay cost the cart though i'm sure no it will it will revive you from death before the
cart counts ah which which and that's the vigor wasp one oh okay so every one of assumed it was
like cart where you don't have to run back yeah no so every one of those abilities is gonna get
some kind of super ability this is more than you would usually get for an expansion an expansion
and i'm feeling that we're gonna get 10 monsters that's just in my heart that's pure speculation
because they need to put more fucking monsters into this game as fast as they possibly can
without making it monster hunter world too without making monster hunter world too yeah
so i think they're showing off and teasing every new month you know what i'm gonna say 15
because i think they're showing off and teasing every new monster that is new that is like a
like a new mod like a new model a new type and then the remainder which is is going to be
a subspecies which is hey if you remember from the base campaign rathien here's a pink one it's
different hey barith he's usually brown but this one's green because he's the ice one you know
stuff like that hold on a second is this free no it's 40 dollars okay so you want it's 40 dollars
so when they put out the version that they're putting out called iceborn plus monster hunter
world the complete collection the price of that game goes right back up to 60 dollars right okay
okay for a second there i thought i was like hell no yeah that sounds nonsense because someone
in the chat said it's free and i was like no it's that's that's that's not stupid so i'm just so
scouring the article that'd be and this will include if it's not called g-rank whatever the
equivalent of g-rank is this isn't team cherry no no no no no on all this looks really really
promising um and they're hoping to get the pc version out sooner this time which is also promising
but it's like the one big disappointment i have with monster hunter world is there just
aren't enough monsters in that game this one's gonna add a this expansion is gonna add a bunch
when we get monster hunter world two or whatever the fuck it's called you're gonna see another 20
right you want to get that number up at 50 or higher because that's a shit ton of monsters to
fight especially if you have three difficulties and then you can just lose your whole life on it
um yeah although i i would imagine that that becomes increasingly difficult to manage if you
have unless you give unless you do that meant the whole story thing unless you just kind of really
just give up like after the couple hour mark and just put it just new things have joined the list no
yeah uh in the old games you had to do key quests and then you had to do a story quest to advance
a star here that's the same thing but their story quest so it's actually a lot easier to manage
if you start iceborn the complete whatever from day one you will go through all of it
until you get to this shit and it's always been that way but i'm saying like you think so like
they would have a like 50 monsters with narrative like path to go through no the way that it usually
worked back say like i'll take for you because for you has like 87 fucking monsters it has a
shit zillion right you have your four key quests that you need to do and then you have your big
quest against uh usually a rathalos and then a diabolos and like you know the big heavy hitters
right if you just do your key quests and you just do the the the advancement one you actually won't
even see 60 of the monsters because they're all just optional right monster hunter world made you
with a hundred percent certainty see every monster throughout the campaign because there were like
30 and that was their way to make it last okay okay okay but when we get monster hunter world
two and the numbers 55 whatever they're gonna be like okay fight rathalos fight and you know
you're gonna have to fight the ones that matter but they'll be optional ones that you just won't
deal with if you don't want ice armor or whatever you should kill them all because they're bad and
they need to go but you know um but yeah so that's that's september sixth uh oh fuck you people who
want rajang you you mother fuck you know who rajang is willy i do not he's the third invader
so so pull up a photo of him if you want uh so there's there's um what's his name basil fuck
there's basil he's new right there's devil joe who is the older one and then there's rajang
and rajang is small and he is a super sand if you look if you are looking at a photo of rajang
right now he is a monkey with big fucking arms that punches and when he gets pissed his fur goes gold
because he is a super sand and his tail is his weak point okay looks like what does that look like
looks like a lot of things looks like um a bit like the behemoth monster from dnd looks a bit like
yeah yeah sure ozaru yeah yeah all right i don't want to see him he's i don't think he's fun to fight
he's like kirin all those lightning assholes and they just they just come in and fuck shit up
yeah okay uh the the good part though about monster hunter world two or whatever
is that you're gonna i can guarantee you you're gonna keep everything from this and iceborn going
forward like uh like every game in the y1234 all the same file progress they didn't keep everybody
but they only started cutting people once they got over like 65
i think i think for you has like 87 and there's oh wait you're talking about the monster i'm talking
about the monsters sorry okay and there's a couple losers that got cut and every now and then they
bring back a loser and you're like oh my god i can't believe this motherfucker got in and it's kind
of like fighting games honestly in reverse but but then but fighting games well specific street
fighters specifically once they scraped everyone and they only left saddam on the table you kind of
started going like all right let's start let's start completing this list then get or where's
or what's remi doing well you know luckily enough there are so many of these things and some of
them are gone like some of them will never come back because they suck like you fought uh zora
magros yeah every version of that boss fight is terrible zora magros is the least terrible of them
all and until they make a good one of the stage bosses they're not gonna come back yeah yeah
they're terrible speaking of stage bosses how pointless was that stage boss in pikachu
that didn't do anything that went nowhere i just remember how just reminded me about how
nothing happened all right anyway uh so anyone who's been keeping up with tetris 99 might be happy
to find out that one it's getting an offline mode cool so you can play against 98 computers to
practice which is fun that's cool and two uh the next online grand prix actually has a prize that's
instead of 99 points that are whatever hard locked to uh and anywhere not cobec fuck you nintendo
they're uh giving away a theme for the game that turns it into the retro style gameboy
green colors if you get over 100 points so um that's not too hard to do play a couple games
one one or two uh you can make it up there and uh that's going on so hey tetris 99 getting
updates getting content getting stuff and i think as well i heard that uh they're making a 10 dollar
optional purchase that gives you that mode i was describing and some other stuff but basically
it's free to just play online against other people but they're finally gonna start monetizing it
which i fully support because fuck yeah tetris 99 i was wondering how this thing was going to
make money yeah there it is and it's surprising that they roll it out later instead of like at the
initial height launch hype because certainly people have dropped off yeah so tetris yeah
but it's kind of like if you want to maximize uh then you want to have this available in that
window you know so strange that they went about it this way but cool i'm glad they're supporting it
um i'd like to have a newsflash from our correspondent mr uh plague of gripes sure
in response to shit that you forgot about in the ff7 um i listen hey hey hey i hey
when when when we don't need to talk about anybody taking any knots thanks
oh no just because it's from plague doesn't mean it's about that okay um two things one an image i
sent to your phone and two you know when cloud and tifa were making it uh everyone on the airship
was like had their face pressed to the glass watching them the whole time
the whole time they were all getting a show
thanks elie wait wait what hold on a second i am so confused
back on the airship yeah okay so you know
oh so one's the image i just sent to your phone yes yes yes it if yeah yeah right and two is when
cloud and tifa are doing it under the airship yeah everybody's looking out the window and watching
them yeah and then you go back to the airship and they're like what you were watching what the
fuck and they're like yeah looks like tifa's been hanging out with gohan that's good i like that
like that um i don't have sevens a crazy game it was a crazy game uh
here's one that's kind of nothing but hey at least we know it exists um it sounds like
they're basically making uh something i kind of hoped for which is a new predator game
called predator hunting grounds who's making this which is described as
uh what is who is making this that's a good question i don't know
uh but but but it's described as a uh what the fuck is the thing that says yeah online
competitive multiplayer experience where you can play as the fire team hunting the predator
or as the predator so evolve except the predator a predator yeah is what i wanted and
there it seems like this is what that game is this game's gonna suck possibly i don't know
who's making it the fact we don't know that already if it's evolved with predator that sounds great
but we don't know oh 20th century fox and illogic great yeah this game's gonna be dog
shit and asymmetric gameplay is fucking or ill fork ill for ill phonic who's ill phonic let's
look at that up who the fuck don't know who ill phonic is but asymmetric gameplay hell yeah super
too proud for that oh it's the guys who make the friday the 13th game asymmetrical so maybe it will
be good asymmetrical fun game i wish this was just predator getting added to dead by daylight
that's my personal bias but uh that's a good that's a good pedigree yeah probably the only team that
aside from the dvd team that i'd be like yeah okay that's a chance no i'm i'm evolve is battley i'm
saying the idea of a team fighting against a powered up character that can punch you is a fun
concept left for dead did it obviously everybody like love come on guys come on yeah count so get
with it let's yeah and then friday 13th was fun i i did enjoy playing that for a little bit um
obviously if that like in those games you're just running to survive you can't really fight back in
this game your soldiers yeah so but you're fighting a really really powerful so it's
gotta be like bullshit what you can do but yeah um and don't just make it like giant health bar
like it's gotta be like more about about like abilities and traps and well in the traditional
like avp multiplayer which i guess the only real thing we can use predators didn't even have that
big of a health bar they had a bigger health bar than the alien of the human that's for sure
but the reason why they were good is because they had the vision modes they had the invisibility
and they had really powerful weapons right do you think your level three special is going to be mud
yeah yeah just fucking like literally just you spend all game getting kills and end or like
doing amazing things and building it all up to just put some fucking mud on you that'd be good
done uh remember star breeze yes they're having some trouble
they made uh uh that's yosa farris's old company with um brothers at illa two sons
and they made those riddick games and they also acquired their rights to um system shock three
oh well uh they currently lack the funds to continue operating another year
and basically they're gonna be um switching up ceo's and do they also make payday payday
possible in chess and payday ultimate ready mud that's good um yeah i'm not sure i'm not sure
i'm gonna take a look while you do but what i did uh go to look up was i was like hey there's
payday guys and i saw i was like yo yosa farris though uh what then who i was gonna say like who
made um way out and it seems like uh i think star haze or something like that i might be
fucking that up but uh no no it's not star haze it's it's a haze light studios or something
like that where it's like it's a different studio and it's like he just i guess was on his own
doing it so they're not uh the same as uh that's not so yeah the a way out is not the same as um
brothers in terms of uh developers but yosuf is the because i know i know payday too gotten a lot
of hot water over some microtransaction bullshit a while ago um so yeah seems like they have a
year to turn it around but otherwise it looks bad and system shock seems like a fucking cursed ip
system shock threes license got revert returned um so they don't have that anymore system shock
remake is fucking all sorts of fucked up over kills the walking dead yeah the thing is um this is
a bit it's weird to hear this before it actually happens usually yeah usually the company just
goes right under it just goes under you don't announce it a year out yeah so so this is like
give us money please i'm possibly angel investors holla holla holla maybe holler at me man i have
money uh so there's that there's a couple of quick little weird ones the fucking the ghostbusters
remaster game what just got rated for xbox one in taiwan sure so they might be bringing this thing
back okay which i remember people saying good things about i didn't touch it but i heard it was
alright the we one was actually the best version oh were they're all like uh kind of like cartoony
yeah and it was like because the motion controls were cool for you know right proton packs right
but yeah no i heard that i heard the uh ghostbusters game wasn't not wasn't bad
and it was gears of war engine right or like it felt like years of war or something like that
we're like ghosts of bust thanks everyone thank you um yeah there's some sort of gears of war
connection um i forget what it was because it was like 10 years ago but yeah people people did
say good things about it what's up i was laughing at my terrible joke okay that's it well while you
do that uh let's talk about the some closed betas if you guys want to try out code vain uh that's
going to have a closed beta that you can sign up for uh later uh in may that game came out of back
out of nowhere i thought it was dead well yeah because they're basically wrapping up for more
you know information and stuff right so um silence and development does not mean dead
apparently they gave her one tiny hat but anime had dark souls um yeah he's gonna be doing an open
beta so yeah you can sign up for that uh and i believe uh what's the dates on that exactly
where'd it go
shit registration here we go had uh it's sometime this month anyway whatever code
vain if you're looking i'm interested i want to know more about the fucking there's always
the possibility that one of these games is going to be the one that's actually pretty decent clone
anime souls hasn't really happened yet you said you said good things about diesel souls
the surge when i played it for a while and then i got to the third level and i was like
i thought you beat it no you get to that no so you get that fourth level and enemies have
flamethrowers and all of a sudden the game becomes anti-fun that's sad that's very sad it is sad
it's always been in the back of my brain um and then the other closed beta is for grand blue fantasy
versus aka new arksis hotness uh again new arksis hotness yeah may 31st of june 1st and you can
sign up for this one as well to get in there and uh this is a fucking arksis fighting game man
what do you want me to do i'm gonna be pretty good and it's got all that side money behind it so
yeah side money shit this thing is going to be fucking huge whether anyone likes it or not it
you want to talk about shit buying its way onto the evo main stage this thing bought its existence
like guaranteed yeah guaranteed no question gonna bump street fighter out of the way um
so yeah sign ups for that as well if you want to get in there and and and see what it feels like
on may 31st of june 1st
there's oh by the way is the other arksis fighting game news in our docket today it certainly isn't
okay so xbox big fucked up and announced the last fighter for dragon ball z fighters
you want a hazard to guess if you haven't seen
uh so we just got kid goku uh
we know that um the broly characters are coming as the final two but you're talking about the one
before them no i think it was the final final character to get announced there was another one
no because they had the whole set and broly and and super saying uh gojita are at the end of the
list and the leak list was gonna say was saying uh kefla yeah it's jenemba what confirmed yeah so
they they leaked it out and then people are like what and they're like you know we we said it's cool
it's gonna be jenemba whoa which like i didn't expect that i'm super happy about that's cool
him and broly are the two movie characters that are cooler too wish it was the same girls
yeah well they're not getting in the dream is dead for what reasons
because jenemba was in dbz movie 13 made such an impact it did the fact that people still talk
about jenemba the fact that he was in one thing one fucking movie oh my god like like coolers in the
game cooler was mentioned once he was in uh twice well metal cooler yeah that's a different is that
a different uh uh yeah and um same thing for i mean broly gets three but also jenemba has
like the coolest moveset movies hard confirmed for not real but good enough to steal characters from
them so it's like vedelle gets in and they're like that's enough that's enough of that
that's enough and only cuz siri man is there she's chaperone yeah she has don't let her out
here by herself we don't know oh man god damn it fuck it's like what you got under there is that a
is that a goku get him in here yeah that's another goku get him in here how many goku's do we need
apparently every goku seriously is there even a goku that's not in that game
i'm asking that for real because i can't think of one i mean until they add bardox left ball sack
oh that's a different goku that's the only one side of there yeah but he is if you count kid goku
turning into him does he yep are you serious dead straight on god level three turns from kid goku
into four and then does the uh the shenron punch so there you go bardox ball sack the origin of all
goku's confirmed for smash the true final boss all the power in the world uh yeah so there you go
dbz more like dbz's nuts thank you thank you everyone bardox bardox nuts
then um lastly there was uh an interesting problem that you never this is definitely like as we move
forward in technology and as we move forward in like what like how video games evolve here's a
new interesting thing that got written about oh yeah i saw this um apparently some people working
artists specifically working on Mortal Kombat 11 that were designing like some of the fatalities
and the more gory things are straight up getting ptsd yeah they're taking psych damage and constantly
working on hyperviolet and it's like you know there's hyperviolet stuff in in movies and there's
hyperviolence in in in moments in games and whatnot obviously Mortal Kombat is one of those
that goes way over the top you know pushes the envelope because that's what it's known to do
and uh what's really happening here because at first i was like oh i need to i want to know
more about this right and so the artists that are talking under condition of an anonymity
are kind of describing that um they're having dreams and kind of these yeah real bad bad real
bad stuff and it's not even so much the like the work on the game itself it's the combination of
like because like at a certain point it just kind of comes down to like you like one of the one guy
was saying it comes down to the beats of the actions like you're treating it like an animation
and you're not you're kind of looking at it in a very technical way but it's the reference material
that you have to look at so people get an anatomy photos and people that are new artists and new
people on the team are joining and like the first thing you're doing is watching cow guts bleed out
and paying attention to how the viscera moves and watching all kinds of super gory dark fucked up
stuff that is supposed to give you the accurate way to display it for the fatalities yeah and
that is fucking people up that makes a lot more sense yeah you have to watch really that's actually
obvious that's like now that i think about it it's not the thing it's not the con it's not the game
it's not the work it's i mean it is to a degree no it's it's not the animation it's the it's the
reference material and and um the a lot of the people there's such a new problem that no one
really considered or thought of and like so they're these like so the the team was kind of like
having these moments were like what the fuck and this one dude was like yeah like i look at my dog
and i just see the organs moving like i don't you know and he's having these weird like like things
so i like that yeah bad big bad and so there's obviously nothing in place to really kind of be
like hey um boss i kind of feel you rotate somebody in on this you know yeah there was nothing in
really in place for to to kind of like bring that up and there wasn't so much a thought that you would
even need to do that because they're kind of just thinking to themselves ah just tough it out like
you're this project you know so a lot in a lot of cases they kind of ended up toughing it out when
they probably shouldn't have yeah and are now kind of feeling really queasy as a result of just being
exposed to like a lot of fucked up i guess the end of the day we have to ask like is is our video
game toys really worth this and the answer is yes of course it is uh can i try taking this
another direction let's uh put in that was sarcasm by the way forever went home that didn't get that
let's put uh a uh system in place or at least introduce an idea where when you have a moment
where you need to probably step off or step away that you can do so without feeling weird about it
and bring up the idea just in case it hasn't crossed anyone's mind that hey if you're not feeling
super great like if you want to switch material want to switch teams rotate out do whatever give
people that option you know uh to not necessarily like force themselves to like learn to to grit
through like war images well listen woolly here's the thing i mean i'm not telling you what you
need to do with your time here at the company but i'm just saying that you can either you know do
your nine to five work on the animated guts or you can go down to qa and work 14 hour days yeah
you know if you really want to put the effort in to make the game better i remember that that's a
that's the problem that i actually see is that like nobody gives a shit the uh well we don't know
we have to see because there's no there's no discussion about the actual reaction ed boon
is standing behind them cracking a whip and throwing guts on the floor we we actually like again the
one of the things they brought up again one of the things they brought up is uh that like
you know it's bad when like the new people are like just browsing through their like uh fucking
like not know what's the um like snuff footage shit almost and just not even batting an eyelash
anymore where you're like yeah you're like two weeks in and you've already gotten used to it
because you're just walking around the office and everyone's desk is fucking full of horrible
shit well we've talked about that time in our life when we were young people and we look at horrible
shit to tell ourselves that our dicks were big and then the light goes out and then we had the
moment where we're like oh soul's dead gotta walk away from this lifestyle so my soul can grow back
now what if instead of just you know a self-dare that was your income that was your job it's a
little harder to step away from that and that's that that puts you in a very awkward position
mm-hmm so yeah that's a brand new unique 2019 problem uh and congrats we've discovered a new
form of human suffering but remember no titties though no titty no nipple you know what i want
to see we want photorealistic dog guts on that nipple you know what i want to see but no nipple
i would like to see an interview with the gang working at the animation tam the animation team
over at debtor alive and or those weird creepy anime games and i want to see yeah i've been working
on these titties for eight months to get the jiggle just right i look around all i see is titties
that chairs a titty right yeah my arms a titty um you don't want your fucking team getting PTSD
guys that sucks man so you know um i was just randomly reminded in my brain that an earlier
point i wanted to make came with thrones because i'm still washing i've been i've been dragging
this f of seven shit in from nowhere you do the game throw shit i just remember i just remember
that at some point i thought and realized to myself that um the the world could have been
saved by a boner if a dude could just chub up all he had to do was chub up all right wait what and
the world would have been saved or at least disaster could have been averted uh crisis
could have been dodged by one man's boner pat wow one boner it's a powerful boner
and i want everybody who knows to think about that could you could you chuff it up to save
oh the context is here could you chuff it up to save uh to save countless i don't think you're
using the word chuffed correctly or fluff it up no no that's i'm definitely sure you're not using
that one correctly could you uh could you could you get yourself you pork on could you pork up a
bit where you have to get it going squeeze the helmet a bit i need context here man but i don't
want it the world of thrones crisis you know what i'm gonna say no i don't know what you're
talking about i'm gonna say no one man's boner it's all he had to do no matter how gross you feel
just commit to save lives
lives
really and and that's that's real talk that's real talk okay i mean fuck dude like even if you
couldn't just push rope push rope for the love push rope for the sake of the fucking innocence
for the children for posterity sake i'm getting real confused about what character motivations are
in this story push rope to save lives that's what i'm trying to say
god damn it all right all right all right going over to emails now we're going over to email if
you want to send in an email send it to castle super beast mail at gmail.com that's castle super
beast mail at gmail.com if you do it might sound a little something like this uh westley says
yo pat and woolly yo what i'm an old ass fan over things life over here i got time and i want to
ask you you ever truly think about your reach in terms of what people are doing while they're
listening to you guys yeah what's the best situation you can imagine um pushing rope
maybe maybe not i need to listen to woolly and pat argue about this shit to help my rope get
pushed hey there you know what hey if you turn us on in the background while you get uh your groove
then god bless i i'm glad i could be used as a facilitator i'm glad that this this voice right
here yeah this voice right here gets you going i'm happy i think the i think the one that freaked
me out the most was i think it was on page's stream where they saw the way we had the laptop set up
in front of us for like stream labs and shit like that and the person said oh cool we saw that and
gave us an idea for work so now we have a laptop and a camera and stuff like that set up for work
when we do uh surgery and we were like oh wow that i mean the setup we have isn't even really
all that special we just put a laptop in front of us wow or a monitor or you know that's wow that's
like oh there's more reach than we expected for sure wait because surgeons are smart people right
yeah what are they doing watching any of our shit i questioned i assumed all of you were dumb i
maybe maybe i mean check back into see if he's still a surgeon i don't know
just last week i spent nine hours strapped down to a chair getting stabbed approximately
three thousand times that's a tattoo in the head while listening to docile tones of you
two chuckle fucks i had a hair transplant oh that's that's apparently very painful
yeah i imagine and you two smoothed it out the ride big time so thanks much love cheers
sounds like a tattoo because sounds like a awful idea to listen to us while getting that done
actually because the number one rule that i've heard for many many years is hey don't go to the
gym and listen to a podcast that might make you laugh right because you could die and if people
are stabbing you with a tattoo needle or a hair transplant the last thing you want to do is bob your
head around problem is that like i can say first uh i can say like uh first why am i blanking
why are you liking um you're right i can say from first hand experience i forgot the word first
hand for some reason yeah i know that uh when doing tattoos uh i brought along my switch and
that was a joke that's a stupid joke that you're not you you can't fucking you you're not don't
move yeah no no moving is not the problem yeah oh you can't pay attention you're not concentrating
on that you can't uh oh you listen to an album or something reading of any kind like you whatever
you do can't be active it has to be past has to be passive so it just became podcasts does that even
include um like chatting with the with the tattoo artist exactly so we we talk and then we plan a
podcast is playing in the background and that's the only thing you can do because it's passive
you know um so that's not a funny podcast right i've been listening to some funny ones but like
you know i know i can i can laugh and not move like i can i can contain that um okay use
or just or just use podcasts that are funny but not that oh yeah humorous humorous yeah uh um so
there's that we got one over here uh drink moxie says yo moxie what up dear black knight and court
jester from castle super beast why is it that people get excited for a remake of a game but when
a movie remake comes out or gets announced everyone freaks the fuck out negatively that's a pretty
good question also thank you for sending me down to chernobyl hole after last week's podcast that's
a very good question it's a super cool for one chernobyl hole super cool yeah it's a fascinating
event so that question is really good is interesting yeah and i think it's like you feel it right away
because video games are an interactive medium yep uh you can flat out improve the interactive
portion like objectively yes right reasonable one reasonable remake one same system better
to play feel look at okay better film and like high res uh modern movie making digital and such
is a direct upgrade right however cg versus practical practical effects still being debated
also like depends on how you do it let's take let's take a good example a remake in movies you
have remakes that in just like in games you do occasionally have the remake that invalidates
the original john carpenters the thing makes the thing from outer space look like a fucking joke
that movie doesn't exist anymore in most people's minds there's only john carpenters the thing
right i don't know anybody who went back to the original scarface or who went back to the original
house of cards right but so it happens sometimes if you were to say make a remake of john carpenters
the thing or a spiritual whatever like they did well one john carpenters not directing it
to kurt russell's not there and the i mean voice act i'm not going to sit here and say that voice
or performance capture actors are not a big part of video games but when you have a character-driven
film there is little more important than the actor that is going to be on the screen so when you
turn that into a different person and not just a different voice not just different you know
like it's a big fucking deal i'm gonna use resident evil again how much of the acting in
resident evil is even in the game it's like it's like five percent of the total game
and also resident evil ones voice acting is a legend for how awful it is but that didn't
stop it from being a great game now film on the other hand is like in a lot of cases old classic
films like literally stand up and hold up and don't need revisiting and you look at it you know
this is just as good as it was they continue they continue to be excellent yeah right the
like shots cinematography script writing planning acting delivery all these things
are there's no replacing these required because they're still top notch like i i appreciate good
fellas it's not a movie i would watch again but it's a great movie i obviously recognize that
the winner in good fellas with the fucking walking through the club and all that yeah yeah
that wasn't a new idea then yeah and it's not a new idea now it's still one of the greatest
shots in film history yeah single shots in film history you you honestly like that's the thing is
and games do risk the losing things in the in the update as well but games it's much more obvious
and clear how much there is to be gained yes by the upgrade to gameplay by the upgrade to
just mistakes that like mechanical things that were that failed in some cases just
literally the the if you're talking about 3d games so in some cases it's like literally the
model just looked like shit so let's take for example because you're talking about the nature
of technology right let's take a movie made in 1968 random fucking movie right the film is not
going to be as high quality as this is a great film on now it's gonna be grainier right the lighting
probably some techniques got invented but at the end of the day if you look at a good movie shot
in the 60s of two people talking in a room it's going to be appreciable to a good movie shot now
about two people talking in a room it's gonna look stylistically different it's gonna you know
people are gonna have different hairstyles on that shit but the core of it which is the acting and
the the shot composition doesn't matter when it was made there's gonna be trends and styles and
all sorts of shit and sometimes technology will inform those like bullet time is a really good
example that's a type of shot that couldn't exist right but in games it's so easy for this question
because it I mean it just came out right you have fucking dog shit ps1 models who are their arms
are flailing all over the place because the characters can't fucking talk with their mouths
in a best case scenario the game itself is great and really doesn't need revisiting but it was on
a console where the controller sucked and the loading time was awful yeah so just that alone
means you're like well going back to experience this means fucking around with a bunch of shitty
loading times and and or discs swapping every game that came out that was in 3d before camera
control got fucking figured out oh god you could re-release all of those games now yeah yeah with
a second analog stick as they are and they would just be better right they should be better out of
Dreamcast stuff so it really so like that's the thing is is you know games just lend themselves
naturally to being revisited because there's so much obvious things to improve for fuck's sake
look at Monster Hunter World we were just talking about it you know what Monster Hunter World is
it's a remake of Monster Hunter 4 and that's a remake of Monster Hunter 3 and that's a remake of
Monster Hunter 2 and that's a remake of Monster Hunter 1 now go back and play Monster Hunter 1
guess what that game is garbage it is shocking that a series came out of that do you know you
attack with the analog stick in that fucking piece of shit it is terrible meanwhile when you
reshoot refilm recast and remake the movie you're probably what are you dropping in the process
the performance of the amazing actors that were probably in the original yeah in many
cases swapping them out for new performances that might not be as good might not be as good
um dropping them for or for or losing even if they're good losing nuance in the performance
that really made certain scenes work better than others uh in some cases losing um
music that if you decide to not go for a similar score in in some cases they would literally just
change the tone of something yeah um adding weirdness like uh uh uh uh adding the possibility
of like making a a a not a trend but like a stylistic choice that doesn't necessarily belong
or doesn't or clashes a little or doesn't work did you see did you see uh perfect timing actually
this week there's a long project that's been in the works for a while and it finally was finished
and it's a uh remake of the moment that obi-wan walks up to Darth Vader in A New Hope a remake
what okay so like a fan fan made all right what's changed it's now shot in a modern Star Wars
lightsaber fight context okay so the fight that looked kind of slow and weird because the it was
an old man and a man in a suit that couldn't see what he was doing uh yes and neither of them knew
how to fight with swords is now updated to have um like dramatic music uh spins out of attack of
the clones uh you know and a return of the revenge of the sith spins yeah crazy wall force pushes
and uh at least two or three times actual lens flares yeah that's terrible that's awful
what you just described so that just came out right and it's funny because watching it you're
seeing parts where you're like okay well that's cool well the choreography of the two guys swinging
their swords is pretty cool right is is better it's better yeah of course it is of course it is
because we've gotten better at choreography yeah choreography used to be shit yes unless you were
watching a hong kong movie from china so if you were to simply take that choreography and replace
the uh the old movies with that and leave it there yeah you're looking at an upgrade sure
but what did we lose in the process well you lost alakiness sure you lost uh a bunch like
basically you add a lot of stuff that is like it is current for the time it is not gonna age well
when you zoom in on Darth Vader's face as the red is burning behind him and the lens flare off the
lightsaber is shining and it really is like oh this is a in-the-moment fight and also i mean this
is a point that our our the the rlms mr mike stoklausa made which is the fight doesn't fucking
matter like the the fact that they're fighting doesn't mean a goddamn fucking thing it's the
characters and it's the characters arguing yes that's what matters yes yes right and yeah in a
video game yeah better fighting yeah it's better right i'm reminded of um i'm reminded of a interview
with the guys behind mark of the ninja uh clay the clay guys right and mark of the ninja in its
prototype phase had a fairly in-depth combat system for fighting enemies and they would give it to
people and the people would fuck up the stealth part and then fight their way through the stage
and they go well no that's the stuff the game is about the game is about being a sneaky ninja
yeah so they took out some of the fight moves yeah and then they took out more of the fight moves
and then people kept doing and they're like okay then they took out every single combat
mechanic that wasn't sneaking around and murdering people and that's what the game is about just
adding things isn't necessarily better right or or are you diluting your message yeah yeah
like what is this actually about yeah is this about the fact that these two have an ideological
difference and they're arguing and obi-wan's like hey darth you're a fucking asshole or is it about
the fact that obi-wan is cooler with oh my god he's such a cool fighter it is yeah like the and
like it's mike points out our own points out this like the most important part of the fight is when
obi-wan turns the fucking lightsaber off it's the only part of the fight that matters is when he
gives up and says fuck you it doesn't even matter if you kill me so all that to say that the things
lost in film remake and the risks you take by having to recreate performances replace special
effects with cg effects that might not even be better in some cases replace score with you know
like it's you're really doing a lot of questionable moves that are rolling the dice on whether
they're going to actually be better and if the end result is better in some ways but worse than
others then we end up feeling like well was this even necessary yeah uh and you know you get your
robocop where we go man that part of robocop is cool and that part was cool and the rest of that
was pointless and why does this exist so like and also like bluntly film remakes i mean the game
industry is some soul of shit right the film industry never like like forgot what the idea
of a fucking soul is at this point like a film when when you got to see robocop one of the
all-time greatest 80s r-rated action movies get announced for a remake you immediately knew it
would be bad and you were right because it was being made because people know what the word robocop
is that's the only reason why right when you heard recall what's that total recall yeah yeah that
thing it happened to a bunch of them right when you heard that resident evil two one of the all-time
greatest late 90s horror violent action games getting remade you went oh cool that'll probably play
better and be more violent and cool looking and although they'll do these scenes and in these
cool new ways that they couldn't do at the time even though they wanted to because games up until
30 years from now yeah still have types of things they want to do that they just can't and here's
the other part too the subtlety of performance right that i was describing happens so rarely in
games yes very very very that like the only and the biggest the most recent example we can bring
up is literally you talking about the cloud you want the versus the cloud you're probably gonna get
how many other games can you even have that discussion about you know that's not all the only
reason we even have that discussion is because there were versions of that character that existed
later in higher fidelity with different directorial choices and all that shit and it's weird it just it's
a very it's a very different thing like a lot of the time um you're just losing too much from
that original and then the other thing of course is the movies that can like take the original and
fucking make Han Solo step on Jabba's tail or put the fucking you know what i mean or like and just
like slice it up and do all these weird things but but like at the at the like i'm thinking like
what's the simplest like dumbest answer to this question yeah and it's like most movie remakes
are terrible most game remakes are at least mechanically improved okay so just the simple
like just straight up appeal appeal to history the the track record just look at what's out is yeah
okay one pretty good track record the other near exclusive disaster fair enough so yeah on the
closing point then even if you disagree with the reasons and and breakdown of what there are so many
bad you can just look at the numbers of it yeah that's fair look capcom they remade re1
fucking amazing one of the best games ever they remade re2 amazing one of the best games ever
that capcom could say they're remaking any game right now and even if it's not as good as the last
one or it's totally different you'd go oh that this dino crisis games probably gonna be pretty good
yeah and then there's the bad ones you know yeah there's occasionally you get some bad
remakes out there nobody talks about rocket night but like in rocket night adventure for
the genesis right that's correct that's a great game fantastic sparkster is also apparently
pretty good as well it is a very good game what are you talking about point made i am
but with film it just happens around every corner you know and the machine the production machine
seems to like thrive on grabbing old name and how many bad rob zombie remakes of existing
properties do we need jeez i i i mean i actually heard that the evil dead one wasn't awful i heard
it was just different yes sure but i didn't watch it i don't know did have bruce cambell in it no
then i don't give a shit and that's a thing that only movies have by the way nobody says that
shit about games yeah um not to mention yeah well no not dmc dmc is a reboot that's not a
reboot that's not the same as a reboot reboots and reimaginings are not the same as as remakes
you know but yeah that's a really good question though good job i like bruce cambell he's a cool
guy uh i got a couple others here real quick yeah i'm through uh david says i just watched
district nine again and i was reminded of the mech designs in that movie they're cool the mech warrior
style bipedal tanks uh to get in you pilot the machine but it has to drill into your forehead
and into two sides of your chin uh at least an inch yeah would you pilot a mech in real life if
this was the only way you will have visible scars that's it fuck off that's insane like
that is the least worth it thing ever and the idea that you couldn't make a version of this that
didn't require that is stupid the technology for that brain i will not already exist i will not
be participating in your stupid technology until you make it better that's wild that's like anything
any dream piece of technology that i that i have where your requirements are stupid and seem like
the setup to a horrible plot you know what let me let me i'm not interested let me even simplify that
the setup to your cool new technology involves a bunch of shit that i saw my dad's garage
fuck that yeah sure sure um i hold right there fuck off fuck off you could get your deus x bionic
arm of the future all you gotta do is sacrifice a loved one to make it compatible yeah sounds good
i got some loved ones i love a little soul stone um come on district nine fuck off with that yeah
we're not doing that the bug people though well it's like wait 10 years and then they'll fix it
anyone who has those scars knows like an idiot no scars on this shit
not to mention single malfunction of any kind and guess what you're fucking let's ask some dumb
motherfucker that implanted their ipod nano into their abdomen what they think of this you're just
fucking dead any little problem during that type of process and you're fucking like why anyway yeah
no um we got one in defense of og full metal alchemist dear castle super beast influencers
this is from jozai in texas i love this talk of stories dropping the ball to finish line and
i feel it's a bit different in the case of original fma so for those who don't know the situation
since pat keeps bringing it up but not explaining it for story discussions the original run of fma
in the early 2000s caught up with the manga way too quickly was very popular and wanted to keep
going rather than doing an adaptation of what the author uh hiromi uh rakawa wanted to uh told
the show runners the ending would be some of these um rather than doing an adaptation of what the
author told the show runners would be like some of these other examples in your discussions included
she stayed with the project to purposely take it in a different direction giving a completely
different ending thankfully because they had uh the author the ending was completely consistent
in terms of tone and themes certain characters got good enjoyable resolutions and the place that
the characters end up is a perfect uh if bitter bittersweet the actual story material got pretty
weird near the end and the parallel real world stuff and so on i remember that uh but the show
was always more focused on the main characters and giving them a satisfying ending was well worth it
the material covers the manga uh was much better than the original than the same material in brotherhood
um sorry it goes on a little bit
uh right the problem is that uh after that happened fans complained about the ending because they
didn't understand the major themes of the show so they created a new ending movie the conqueror
of shamballa which completely blows gives the show much more sappy and basic everyone is happy no
consequences or sacrifices on the journey kind of ending i was worried that the ending of brotherhood
would not be able to capture that bittersweet feeling as the original uh but the thematic ending
for uh brotherhood is as perfect as it gets sorry for the long email fma is one of my favorite
fiction works ever no fma original sucks bro all right no that just sucks that shit is stupid
good email though i forget a lot forget a lot but sure uh getting bored halfway through games
oh man it's a real problem yeah john says dare out ultra temple demon uh till a few weeks ago
i've been playing p3 played through five and i loved it and wanted to play the other games was
having a blast but when i got to summer vacation i got bored had no idea why uh struggling to even
get to the main menu now ever happened to you before i always tell everyone they can't if you
want to play any game that says smt on it you have to go from the farthest back in time point and
move forward you cannot go backwards there are series you cannot go backwards yeah there are
too many things that they fix and they add and they tweak and they polish and then you go back
you go what the fuck do you mean i cannot choose my skills what do you mean mitzvah won't listen to
me and we'll just do maren karen until i am dead see but in the case of like uh stef i had to go
backwards because i had to i was like let's even see if you like this with the best version of it
or is this just a waste of time yeah and then if so then like okay proof of concept all right now
you can check out the others and you're a bit more ready for the difficulty that comes with the obtuse
this um i uh hit a lull in dangin rampa and have yet to come back to it and i'm trying to find
i have angle i'm trying to find i'm trying to find a way but i i really just don't feel it a lot
and i i want to but it's like i hit a point where i was like eh you know i i need to ask you a really
straightforward question yeah the other day i loaded up dangin rampa one yeah and i'm i'm i'm
reading through the intro yeah and it's like there's this guy's the most powerful manga artist and
this this lady's the most powerful fashionista yeah and they're showing other and like i'm just
overpowered like this is fucking stupid this is fucking stupid and like ended up like alt f4
boring before i got to control a character it like do i have a shot at liking those games
at all slim slim but i would say play to the end of the first case all right like a phoenix
right type situation yeah play it to the end of the first case and decide how you feel all right
but it sounds like you're probably gonna hate it because like when i played ace attorney i pressed
start and within like 10 seconds like and i played 999 and i pressed start i was like oh wow cool
the tone here is super different and like the tone here the tone in dangin rampa is is very
different and i'd start dangin rampa and i'm just like yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and then i hit like
yeah dangin rampa is is uh it does um
the tone in dangin rampa is slapstick violent so it's like characters and their designs and
the things they do are full-on slapstick but then serious violence happens okay and it mixes between
i guess i'll give it a shot it shoots back and forth between the two because i've heard
people have been telling me to check it out for so long and i've heard such good things
uh play to play through the first case all right that's it you know and if you really don't feel it
by that point you're yeah you're safe to eject because what you get up to that point will thoroughly
be a like a microcosm of an appetizer for what you're getting all right you know so um but yeah
i had some i had some some law i have a law currently with v3 that i need to get back around
to so um and you will save this one for next time so there's a nice this is a big juicy one
here it's a beaver there make a big big beaver yeah one though the mono the mono beaver big
beaver could have saved westeros i don't really care how spoiler radius i'm gonna ask you what the
fuck you're talking about after the podcast
boy um all right so you know check us out check us out at those places we said thing rtx
dude 72 hours man and omni shambles i i definitely want to use that that's a great way and and like
the like believe you me the world you're watching for the wreck you're what you're like at this
point just ride it out so is this the kind of situation where it's like the car hit a bump
and then it it fished out a little and then it hit a bigger bump and now it's in the air
and it's spinning and the like the children have been flown out out the windows and all
you're waiting for here is to see whether or not it's gonna land on the old man or his dog
i like it's mid-flight and you're just like oh man which is oh it landed on both of them wow
just like i really like there's analogies but really like it there's there won't be for a long time
there won't be anything that this many people care about that is this that turns this bad like
there's just no you know the gauntlet's been laid down writers of the future
and you know for those who said an even worse than westworld i'm like westworld had the
fucking grace to exit my life with less than a year also on the clock really important about westworld
the way that first season is great but you can pretend that it ends self-contained you can pretend
you can absolutely that's obviously not real but you can just imagine you can 100 close it right
there if you want it to um this is not that this is like the you know and uh yeah like even even if
you were like even if you were to like count for inflation in a way the the impact of it
yeah the hours spent on game of thrones blows star wars out of the star trek out of star wars
out of the water yeah right um blows the matrix out of the water the amount of eyeballs interested
yeah blows it all out of the water you know and and um the last thing i'll say about the naming
thing is i saw there's an interesting thing on reddit where they took a look at a chart of baby
names over over the years and you can see the history of how oh my god America chose its names
it's so bad and how every state what popular name was where at what point from the 60s moving
forward and one thing that was described and broken down because you basically see
mary mary mary mary gets more popular and then suddenly jennifer jennifer jennifer jennifer
the david years Jessica Jessica Jessica yeah oh man it's men is michael all the way through
men from 1960 to like the mid aughts is michael and then suddenly switches to jacob
okay and that's it but um there was a jessica period and there i remember i remember a jennifer
period and then then gives away to ashley yeah and then ashley gives away and then at one point
there's a bit of an emma phase that was short um and then that and then gives way to isabella
oh and then like it just goes and goes and goes right and then in the discussion underneath
you're like what's up with this yeah right prompted these what are these phases literally the most
popular names in the on in in america in every state the whole thing about babies being named
denaris and khalisi and then before that babies being named after fucking twilight characters
is literally the history of names every single explosion that happens suddenly from one year
to another is based on a movie coming out that affects everyone's uh uh baby names yo that sucks
everything that was ever a popular name came from pop culture the girls only so like a movie
called love story came out in the 60s that changed everyone to want to name them after the main
character in that uh you move forward and then another movie comes out and then rewrites it and
everyone goes for that and then the baby in friends uh uh em emily emily was the ma no emily um emma
emma yeah was the baby in friends yeah and suddenly emma's everywhere yo that sucks this
sucks then isabella is the fucking twilight name oh bell ah and then it becomes all about bella
and we literally never had a period when's the tifa period are we coming up on the tifa period
yeah or the are the kingdom hearts kids yeah yeah oh oh that did happen yeah kairi did happen
it did it was smaller but it did yes so if for a second all that sucks if for a second you think
that like oh man it's so stupid that we're people are doing this to like these days it has always
been the case yo that sucks from the 60s like it's literally been tv movie oh name kid name baby
after thing people are fucking dumb what happened to naming your kids after like a great cousin or a
grandpa or some shit i mean that still exists in the not the number one name i know but like
but the number one name is always the hive mind that always oh that sucks fucking enjoy that shit
we'll see you next we'll see you next time
that's awful
oh
so
you