Castle Super Beast - CSB 019: CTE: Canine Tournament Extreme
Episode Date: May 28, 2019Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Randy retweets catsnuff, and we're not quite sure what to do about it. Games as a Service, vs Service as a Game. You can watch us record the ...podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Metal Gear Solid - The Best is Yet to Come Get $5 off their first order of $15 or more when you download the DoorDash app and enter promo code: SUPERBEAST For $20 off a suitcase, visit http://awaytravel.com/beast and use promo code beast during checkout! 'Death Stranding' details are coming on May 29th Nioh 2 closed alpha test set for May 24 to June 2, gameplay trailer George R.R. Martin: “I’ve consulted on a video game out of Japan” Sonic the Hedgehog live-action movie delayed to February 14, 2020 Lethal League Blaze for PS4 and Switch launches digitally in July in Japan, physically in September Dead Cells sales top two million, ‘Rise of the Giant’ update now available for PS4 and Switch The Surge 2 PC closed beta applications opened PC Rune: Ragnarok re-titled Rune II, launches this summer
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Discussion (0)
Hang on.
So, I'm going to go ahead and start this off saying that you have a free pass.
I have a free pass with all of the people.
Well, all of the people don't have physical access to me, so right now this is relevant
to you.
All right.
If you ever catch me retweeting cat snuff on my Twitter, you get a free pass to go right
up side my head.
Oh, uh.
Okay.
Are you familiar with that?
That's back in the day when you put your hand on someone's back and you'd run it upwards
like what?
I remember going up side someone's head what I'm confused about.
Yeah.
If you ever catch me retweeting cat snuff, I'm a little baffled even if it's followed
by an inquisitive follow up of your, your, my curiosity or some sort of weird word nonsense
mumbo jumbo talk, uh, you can go right upside my head.
Okay.
Uh huh.
All right.
What?
Randy.
No.
Are you serious?
Why?
I don't fucking know magic.
I don't fucking know.
There's nothing magic about it.
It's a video of a cat and a fucking crab and the crab kills the cat and they're getting
and they're put into a, I didn't see the video.
I saw a screenshot and it's a fucking crab versus cat fight thing and some shitty Twitter
was like, ha ha.
Well, this cat gets murdered and then Randy's like for your consideration and then I think
this you're like, you're familiar with the term horny on main.
This is, this is a different, but I know, no, he wouldn't have an altar cat, but that's
the thing, right?
That's the, and that's sort of the problem in some ways where you think about like, so
when someone has an alt where they're like, I'm going to switch to my alt because I want
to, this is what I used to shitpost.
I used to shitpost.
I want to get toxic.
Yeah.
I want to flame.
I want to get political.
I want to do whatever the fuck, creepy section, the jam room.
I want to do things that no one really wants to hear because they pretty much follow me
because of my other stuff, right?
At what point are you like retweeting fucking animal murder as a good idea, even on your
alt?
So what's up with that?
I mean, you don't have to go to school for psychology to know that callousness towards
adorable animal death is like marker number one for sociopathy.
I mean, yeah, you can qualify it with adorable, you know, ultimately it's like anything that's
not an insect because you know what I mean, but even then depends on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
First sign, first sign always, always and forever.
It's like, huh?
You don't care?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, remember that time, remember when we talked about people reacting really weirdly
to the walking dead's dog scene and people are being like, so you were cool blowing through
all the human zombies.
As over as over over much as as as overblown, some of that is, hey, that's a good sign that
you're like a human being.
Well, it's like it like the overreaction is is is dumb, right?
And all of it is in this place of like, okay, you don't want I can, but you but but you
understand where it comes from and empathize with that is I've seen a hundred million people
get shot to death in in games and stuff, but dogs are perfect.
Yeah.
They built a franchise around it.
It's called John Wick.
Yeah, they did.
They did.
That entire film franchise would not work and be on its third film out this week, by
the way.
I bet dude, I bet if it was the wife, it wouldn't hit as hard.
No, because that's just like some other shitty old action movie that we've already seen.
Yeah.
Or like Taken was taken, you know, my kids, but like at the end of the day, like really
the like John Wick was that that capitalized on the audience's fucking like puppy test
fear, you know, and a hundred percent does everything that Iraqi exploits.
Oh, so bad is what John Wick is built on.
It's the foundation.
As you don't know, well, he's referring to Eric, the author of Jojo's Bazaar Adventure
kills dogs a lot in his manga because he says or cats or cats.
He says, you know, it's a good way to show that the bad guy is really bad.
Just have him kill an animal for no reason.
Yeah.
Bam, done.
Yeah.
So you think maybe if Liam Neeson went back in, it was his little woofer that got taken.
Then he would use this particular set of skills.
I don't think much of the plot of that movie would make any sense.
They would be very confusing.
You've taken my dog.
That first one's pretty good, but they turned to shit.
I'm going to hunt you down, you black bastard.
You hear about that?
Oh, he went.
He told a story.
Oh, no.
I didn't hear about that.
I wasn't looking for a black bastard.
I remember hearing about that and assuming it was fake.
I just assumed it was fake until I came upon it later in the day again, uh, that was just
something about the old school, the old world's phrasing.
There's something about, to me, the most shocking thing is like this is an event that
occurred 20, 30 years ago or whatever, right?
And he's like, I want to tell the story so that everyone can understand that, you know,
we can, like he's doing it from that place.
It's like, you know, everybody has these feelings and I'm like, no, Liam Neeson.
They're not.
Not a common feeling.
You're coming from a place that is unfortunately not going to be received the way you think
it is.
This is not going to go over well.
You know, when a friend of yours gets really badly hurt and you just start going out to
murder people of a certain race, when you start, no, Mr. Neeson, I don't, I am not familiar
with that emotion.
When you go looking for a black bastard.
And the way he tells the story, he expects everyone to be like, yeah, you know what,
I have felt that way.
I have felt about one pint away from kicking off the race war.
And I do have a particular set of skills.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
I think, and I think any, any, any film where, you know, they do the test and you see like,
oh, there originally was like an exploding puppy in that scene, but we decided to cut
that because the audience has got really upset.
Yeah.
Like John Wick proves that you can show that to an audience as long as the rest of the film
is dedicated to the burning vengeance and the, and the fucking name of that fucking
dog does it is just like the smarmiest fucking just I'm, I'm, yeah, I'm on Greyjoy, I think,
or whatever.
And he gets it in the most, not even the hardest way possible, the most dismissive way possible.
Now you're done.
We're going to move on.
That's the thing about, that's the thing about that, that vengeance moment too is it's
not the big hard kill, the big fat kill, excuse me, um, from city, throw it off a building
and we'll thresh her.
Yeah.
And you didn't get ripped apart by four dinosaurs like that fucking poor lady that just did nothing
to deserve it.
That movie, I feel like it has a weird message to say about family that's like super dark.
Like you would think that she were the villain behind the whole thing, the way she got it.
She let them out willingly to see what they would do to the babies.
Oh yeah.
We got the baby farm over on the side.
We want to see how infants versus velociraptors put the trail of blood right from the straight
up after cage to the baby cage.
No, he doesn't get it like that.
He just gets it in the most dismissive way, which is even worse.
It's just like pop, pop.
He just walks away.
He walks up to him and the, and he starts, he starts to go into his plead and he doesn't
even get a couple of words out before he just blows them away and walks on.
It's just the most like you don't get anything special.
Eat a bullet.
You're done.
It's super cold.
I got to see that third movie.
It's probably pretty fresh, fresh hot off the presses right out there now.
Go see it.
Don't fucking don't do that.
Don't do don't don't fuck with a dude's dog.
So all that to say that if you're a video game developer and or a face of a company of
any kind and your general existence on social media, he is the CEO of that company, which
means you call the shots ultimately.
And if you're, if you're, but if you're in a sort of a public facing scenario where
you're part personality, part like, you know, you know, yeah, it just don't maybe assume
that people want to check out catsnuff.
Randy seems like the kind of guy who knows he's going to go to jail, which I don't know
if any's counting the days down.
I don't know if there's anything specific on the docket about it, but Randy seems like
the kind of guy who's eventually going to go to jail or has been or is because every
single story that comes out from former employees is like, yeah, Randy is a criminal asshole
who steals money from the company and punches people.
There's also just the weird non sequitur like this, allegedly.
Are you saying basically that like Randy is fucking creed from the office?
He's the old man that just says weird shit.
You're like, why are you in here?
What is up with that?
Are you, are you, are you growing damp monk monk beans in your, I think, I think there's
probably a lot of very talented people at Gearbox who work really hard and then just
just count the days since the amount of time it's been since Randy had to actually talk
to them specifically, and they try and keep their head down because that man is crazy.
God allegedly.
Yeah, well, anyway, that happened and that was really just what, why, what, also, I can't
believe that didn't find its way to me that nobody told me.
It also was double confusing on the level of like the, the account he quoted was an
account that was just like, law animals or something like that, and it was just a stupid
retweet farm of like crying emojis and cute animals.
Yeah, like I got all a bunch of cute animal Twitter.
Yeah, basically, and it was just one of those, and they were like, ha, ha, yeah.
But I guess this was one of those ones where like, you don't know where they're from or
what it's, what's up, and then in these moments where they go, ha, ha, look at the fight and
then the cat dies, you're like, oh, this might be like a Russian one or you know what I mean?
Like, you don't quite know, you don't, you, it's all emoji talk, so you don't quite know.
And then suddenly you go, oh, this is from somewhere where life is cheap and fast.
Yes.
And, and you didn't quite realize that your audience was not looking for this type of
animal video.
Correctly scraped the internet for cat videos to steal, and then it found this one and no
one double checked it before it got uploaded.
Yeah.
Um, um, god.
Like, like, what the fuck is it called, like, like, uh, corgis now or whatever it is?
Yeah.
Are she, shebes, right?
I thought there's shebes every day, and I follow cute animals, uh, round animals.
Yeah, yeah.
So just.
Round animals on good Twitter.
And cute animal vids, right?
A trustworthy source for your daily Instagram videos of dopamine hits.
Found out why Serbian film is so fucked up.
Are you familiar with, you're familiar with Serbian?
I'm familiar intimately with Serbian film, you watched it on a thematic level, on a literal,
on a subtext metaphorical, so you're and the message that the director was going.
So yeah, the message director was apparently gone for is that Serbia has no ratings board
of any kind, and he made the most fucked up movie ever so that he could go look like
a kid could just walk in with theater and see this is fucking stupid.
I mean, there's more than one reason why that's one of them.
The others being that the message is ultimately that life in Serbia after the war is such
dog shit that the people that are effectively supposed to be running your country are willing
and able and aggressively out to fuck you from the moment you're born till the moment
you die.
And then they keep on fucking you after you die little, little bit literal on that.
Yes.
This is exactly this is quite literally two thumbs up from woolly on Serbian film on
a subtext level.
Absolutely.
All right.
Gets this point across on a enjoyable movie level.
Hey.
No.
Okay.
It's kind of like annihilation.
You know, on a subtext level.
Yeah, you're doing it.
You're getting your point across on a literal level.
Yikes.
Yeah.
Now that's what I call fucking yikes.
Randy.
Yikes.
Randy.
Why fucking tweet a retweet of the entirety of Serbian film accepted for your consideration.
Hey, check out this cool thing I found on the Internet.
So right upside the head, starting at the bottom, pat on the back, right, right under
the neck.
You know what, man?
Whap.
I think we're good.
I don't think this is a necessary allowance, but you know what, thanks.
I would also like to extend the same allowance to you.
Don't think you'll have to actually think about this ever again, but hey, free pass.
Because like the days that I come from, right, the days of Internet that I come from, yes,
back in the many of you Internet children don't understand what the Internet used to
Internet are the days of holy fuck.
Have you seen this video of this woman?
She's now being called the cat crusher.
I remember her and didn't she get disappeared?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
So, oh, cool.
You put a video out of you in stilettos destroying a kitten for like fetish purposes.
Yeah.
Nice.
What's that bridge you're standing on?
Yeah.
Cool.
What's that skyscraper in the background?
Uh-huh.
Okay, cool.
Yeah.
See you in five.
I believe she did get in fact disappeared.
Well, it was it was disappeared in the sense that it was voluntarily disappeared because
effectively she was tracked to her job, then to her house, and then to her parents place.
And it was very much a time to pick up and leave and create a new life thing, which harassing
people is not great.
Don't do that.
Don't do that.
That's horrible.
That's fucking shitty and terrible.
And doxing is awful.
And it's just it's not a great thing.
I'm not at all saying this is encouraged.
However, however, you're what you are saying is that when bad things happen to bad people,
it's hard to feel sympathy for them.
It's way harder to feel sympathy and it's sympathy and providing that, you know, she
didn't meet the same fate in that way.
The idea of like, well, at least on a level of you can no longer be the person that does
this type of thing anymore, because also jail wasn't a thing.
Yeah, I don't know what it was, right?
There was no actual repercussion for what she did.
So then it was like, all right, mob justice time and mob justice sucks awful, but there's
something.
It is the way is what I'm hearing.
The mob knows what it's doing sometimes.
Sometimes you just you don't join the mob.
Yeah.
But you grab a seat.
Yeah, you grab a seat and you and you and you kind of just you kind of take in what's
going on.
Yeah.
Sometimes.
Sometimes.
Hey, take it from Willie, guys.
Sometimes the mob has it right and you just got to take a seat.
Okay, well, anyway, that's the era that I recall, you know, you know, she didn't go
back to playing for the NFL after that.
Oh, man.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Hey, man, hey, he did his time.
He paid his debt to society.
Look at those touchdowns.
I don't.
I think the saddest thing about what you're talking about, I'm not 100 percent sure what
player you're talking about and not because I don't follow football, but because there
are being a professional athlete is essentially a free pass to commit certain crimes.
Yeah.
And if I were talking about the crime of Galactica phantoming your wife and or girlfriend and
or baby mama, then we would run out the time on this, but I'm I'm specifically talking
about the dog fighting cross tag dog battle in which place you only go one way.
And and the fact that he returned to a very, very good numbered career leads to people
then defending and or being like, Hey, man, come on, all right, we're getting so we're
getting so political today with the football.
Is it really political that that you're a shitty person if you I have been told animal
murderers are shitty people?
Is that political?
I have been told.
Are we drawing a line?
Apparently that includes me laughing at now.
I'm going to go even further out to the sports, to the college sports, to laughing at the
idiots who are like, put paterno statue back up.
He's a hero.
Sure.
Like is is somehow political.
It's like, come on, man, bury the statue in the ocean, you dumb college fucks.
Like, ultimately, there's a there's an argument to be made that that guy Dempsey rolling his
girlfriend is al is like got some serious CTE.
Hey, man, you know what that means?
That means they're aggressive on the field, right?
There's some because there's some fucking worst cases that went down that everybody knows of,
you know, that don't end nice.
Yeah.
But I kind of feel like if you're doing the the the king of iron dog tournaments in your
backyard, that's not that's not that's not impulsive.
No, you had a plan.
You had to you had to buy some boards and to call some guys to get an announcer in there.
You have to create like a fucking a tournament ladder bracket.
You know, you have to get some portraits, get to get some towels, get to get an announcer.
Yeah, right.
Call together friends.
You had to call Jimmy at the very minimum.
You're running a running a racket at the very minimum.
You have to come with some cash and like fucking bookie bookies ready to take the bets.
And you know, you just there's some planning involved.
That's not an impulsive thing where you're like, I'm normal.
I'm normal.
I'm in an argument.
I'm violent.
I'm back to normal, which is what CTE is kind of like.
This is a very like that's not the same thing.
No, no, no.
So unless that CTE episode happens to last for multiple days, it's a brand new calm planning.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Unless CTE stands for Canine Tournament Extreme.
Listen, I took a couple of knocks to the head.
I had to see the dogs.
Michael Big has CTE Canine Tournament.
It's deep in there, bro.
I can't get it out.
Hey, hey, no one specified says right here on the paper.
CTE didn't do that.
It's an acronym.
You could be in it.
It could be anything.
No one's stopping.
He's all sorts of shit.
Let's just free pass free pass.
Free pass.
All right, caught all the way to the end zone.
Here's a list of things that we know not to do according to the Beast cast.
Sorry, the Castle Super Beast cast still screwing that up.
One, don't hit your significant other.
Two, don't organize dog fighting rings.
Don't spend meter three on it.
Don't get the blue trail.
Don't don't do it.
We don't need buttery.
We don't need buttery versions.
Three, don't don't retweet weird animal snuff or you know what snuff shit.
How about this?
How about this?
An animal getting hurt?
Yeah, I here's dude, like I saw a video.
I saw like three videos of what looked like the same dog.
I don't think it is, but it's the same type of dog.
It's like a like a husky looking like like woofer getting fucking tricked out
of thinking it was picking the right thing where it's like, I got I got like
five treats in this hand and I got one treat in this hand and whoa, slide ahead,
pick one and it picks the five and it gets nothing.
Yeah, or like two big bowls of food, but this one has one hot dog on it and this
one has a whole bunch of other meats on it and then it picks the one with the other
meats and then it's you slide it forward and the other meats are just like a
sticker and you peel it off and it's just a normal bowl and the dog gives you
that. Are you fucking kidding me?
Look, I know, you know what?
That's hilarious tricking your animal or being like, haha, you're stupid and then
petting them and then giving them the food or they or they toss they toss it a
little treat and it comes in the room.
They toss it a treat and it bites it and then like kind of walks away and then
they all pull out like a giant gourmet tray and put it on the table and they're
like, okay, we were hiding the food correctly and then they look back over
and the dog's just looking in the room like you motherfuckers.
Like that shit, that feels bad enough.
No, that's hilarious.
I'm sad that feels that that feels like you're tricking something that couldn't
possibly get the better of it.
Dude, that's hilarious.
You ever trick a dumb person?
But they never do it.
But they never end the video where they get the boat.
They get both anyway.
They never end the video.
That dog stares at the cupcakes and he never gets all that all that poor dog
with the cupcakes.
You never find out if he gets those cupcakes or not.
He doesn't get the cupcakes.
Well, that's what I'm saying.
Not allowed to get the cupcakes.
Of course not.
Can't feed dogs cupcakes.
But that's so that's what you know what I mean.
And you're just like, that's just mean.
So that's already skirting a line for me, much less getting into actual pain,
much less getting into fucking clip, clip, snip, you know?
Come on.
I don't know.
What about that blanket shit that where you put the blanket up and you disappear
and the dog goes nuts?
Yeah, that's hilarious.
Because they're like, oh, you disappeared.
Oh, yeah, that's that's fine.
Yeah, that's great.
That's great.
And you're not, I mean, ultimately, it's like, that's just a moment of confusion
is fine, a complete bamboozling of treats.
Oh, man, or denial of pets.
Fucking give us like a relatively obscure video on the internet, which is smart
wiener dog versus dumb wiener dog.
It is a tiny perimeter made out of what appears to be coke cans, just coke cans.
Like, I don't know, six inches tall, whatever.
You put the dumb wiener dog in, trapped forever, forever, can't just can't.
Oh my God, they have to open up a little path and then it will waddle out smart
wiener dog, pop that thing down.
It just jumps out in one second.
Yeah.
Instantly.
Yeah.
Animals have wildly varying intelligence.
See, but then here's the other problem.
Okay.
Uh, that video.
So like, then you see a video of this dog that has to walk backwards through doors.
Oh, yeah, because it's smashed into a fucking glass and it's now just terrified of that.
And I've seen that's a saran wrap, like pranks or whatever.
But like that kind of thing, it just takes one experience of like what the fuck just
happened to me.
Life is not what I thought it is to reprogram everything.
Yeah.
Dogs that, that won't go through open doors because the frame is there is goofy to me.
So, you know, I don't want to poop their head on the glass, but there's no glass.
Doggo.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it just, that's, that's the, I just, you know, that's it.
I just, I remember that era where someone would have the fucking balls or
sociopathy to think that other people were in and thought this would be cool too.
Look how fun it is that I'm doing this is that some people are in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Clearly when a bunch of the soldiers are out in whatever country going hurrah and then
grabbing a puppy and tossing it off a bridge and you're like, Hey, well, you're
going all greatest hits today because they're coming to mind because these are the
ones that made an impact and had a big deal.
That's really old.
That's like 10 years ago.
That's the era.
Yeah.
And then you go, who the fuck were those guys?
Okay.
Well, not anymore.
You know, and that's the kind of like feelings that people had whenever these things
would happen.
Um, cause it's, it's just like, it was not to do.
And it was also, maybe it was before people think, maybe it was before the
algorithms figured out that like outrage clicks were a thing because those things
would spread like fucking wildfire.
Cause it's like, do you want to feel super upset and, and like mad today and
direct it at a clear and obvious target with no possible justifiable explanation
whatsoever.
Here you go.
You know, and, uh,
there's no complicated moral dilemma here.
No, you just get to go bad person, bad done.
End of story.
There's, there's no two, three, four, five, six.
There's nothing else to say, especially when you bring it up to the laughter with
the sound effects or whatever, whatever the fuck you get out of it, you know, so.
Seems like Randy did a really good job making everyone really happy.
Are there any cute animals in Borderlands?
There's claptrap, which is kind of a cute animal.
It's a robot.
Yeah, but there's no like, he's been revoiced and Randy allegedly attacked his
former voice actor.
Yeah.
But there's no, there's no like, uh, uh, fucking like, there's no animal mascot.
The animal mascot is the robot.
Okay.
There's no pet shop or, or Iggy or no.
Okay.
Well, it's a bunch of monsters.
Fair enough.
Uh, yeah.
What, uh, what did you do this week?
All right.
So my week's been really boring.
I started watching band of brothers again for funsies and I just find out, I
guess it's Memorial Day.
So I guess that's appropriate.
That's a great TV show.
And of note upon rewatching it again, I have to say,
did you get your DVD boxes out?
I have my DVD boxes, but I, uh, I got better versions somehow.
Um, for convenience.
Um, yeah, I don't, I don't know where that DVD set is.
Uh, but what's the guy's name who plays the Ross and the friends?
Uh, David Schwimmer, David Schwimmer, man.
He is a great actor.
You ever seen band of brothers?
I've seen episodes.
He plays the most loathsome, contemptible fuck CEO, just annoying, smarmy,
smug ass, prick motherfucker in the world.
He swims it up.
Yeah.
And it's just like just roiling vicious hatred for this asshole.
And there's part of it that I think of, and it's like, this is accounts
based on real stories, whether or not this person is a direct man, like person,
uh, David Sobel, or whether or not he is an amalgamation of various people of like,
this behavior is real and did happen.
Oh my God.
He's such an asshole.
So he's Ross.
Yes.
Okay.
What if Ross was in the military?
Okay.
And not a pussy and a commanding officer.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, so awful.
The rest of the week playing a bunch of games that you I've already talked about.
Plague Tale continues to be fucking awesome.
Amazing.
Great.
Uh, you should play that.
Everybody should play that.
Great.
Into success.
I'm going to take a peek just to see.
I thought it was a new game from a brand new company.
It is not.
It is by the guys who made fuel.
Fuel.
Yes.
The racing game.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Uh, played more hat in time.
I don't have much to say other than that game is adorable.
And I think cute mascot.
I think it controls better than Mario Odyssey.
Like, I think I like the feel of it better than Mario Odyssey.
Well, it looks more like a rare than it does a Nintendo.
It's just a little looser.
Like there's a little more, a little less inertia and I like it.
But by far the most interesting thing that I did this week, which unfortunately
parts of it will bore you to tears.
Wolves as I watched that Final Fantasy 14 live letter.
Yoshi P I streamed, which ended up being like six hours long.
Yoshi P Yoshi P.
Yes.
Yeah.
You familiar with Yoshi P?
He's the guy.
Have you seen the screenshots of him dying in the fucking stream?
I heard and clawing his face.
I heard lots of people basically going back poor Yoshi P.
So here's why poor Yoshi P.
So stream starts up half hour early, right?
Okay.
They're in San Francisco.
They're doing an immediate tour to show off the new expansion.
All right.
Start off a half hour early.
They usually do this.
So that, okay, we're going to test the sound.
Can you hear my microphone?
Everyone in chat goes, yeah, you hear your microphone?
Uh, can you hear the game?
No.
Okay.
Half hour passes.
It is now time to start the stream.
Uh, the translator lady and Yoshi P sit down as well.
Can you, can you hear the, no.
And this is where the fun starts at about the 40 minute mark.
You can hear, uh, I think it's what's this, people call them Tony.
The intern is like running in front of the camera to start clicking things on
the computer they have in front of them and testing the windows noise.
And then they're going to a break screen and you can hear cables being unplugged.
You can hear like that, that pop noise of, of inputs being reinserted.
And then every now and then you tune back in and it is a max volume windows tone
looped at like ear blasting volume or screaming static or just the
worst and then every time they come, they come back and go, okay, guys,
we, we restart everything.
Can you hear the game?
No.
No, you can't.
Did you notice if there were people in the chat using hold on big hold on?
Uh, there were 70,000 people watching this.
So I did not see that, but that was the joke hitting me on Twitter is
that my technical issues infected them.
Um, it got so bad that the solution they used for the first like two hours was
they figured out how to play the sound through the TV they were looking at.
And we're just letting their lapel mics pick it up.
And then they're like, okay, guys, we know what you've all been waiting for.
We're going to show you the job actions trailer, which is all the new fancy moves.
Every single class is going to get it's a 15 minute long trailer.
It's amazingly edited.
It has great transitions.
It has three or four great pieces of music in it.
It's so slick and they hit that play button and there's no God damn sound in
the fucking video feed either to which they were supposed to take an
intermission, they come back, Oh guys, we're so sorry.
Hey, we're working on it.
It took about two and a half hours for them to be live fixing this, to actually
get it working in which they finally did, which leaves to probably my favorite
explanation from a live development studio, like during a live stream.
Yoshi P is sitting there like hands over his face or clawing at his face or just
looking into, into the distance, right?
He's, he's sick at this point.
Like he's ill at the, at the event.
He's working on the game at the event.
He's doing 21 interviews and whatnot.
And he sits down for this four hour chunk and he's now an hour and a half in
and nothing's happened.
And the translator and the other guy, forget his name, Fox, something.
Say, Oh, don't worry guys.
Yoshi P is not angry.
It's just his face always looks like that.
He's not angry at all.
No one in the world believes that shit.
He's sit and they were, they were calling it out on stream.
Yes.
They were telling you, don't worry guys.
He's, he's not, he's not mad.
He's, he's, you know, he's just tired.
And it's like, that's bullshit.
You're looking at his face and you're looking at the, the stare in his eyes.
And it's that feeling.
You remember what Miyamoto's face looked like?
He's very upset when the Skyward Sword demo just fucking fell apart on, on stage.
That fucking, I'm sma, I'm like, haha, I'm going to kill someone.
Professionalism, especially as an icon in many cases for like a Japanese icon
means that like you can at worst hit a five.
Yeah.
You cannot go below a five.
So he was very, very far below a five.
Glass shattering.
And this is on top of the last thing that they did, which was the Japanese
fan fest when he went on stage that everyone was miked up wrong.
Like it's every time you, you tune into a Final Fantasy stream of some kind now,
it's shit.
It's falling apart.
It's falling the fuck apart.
After all that shit got solved, though, everything they showed was everything.
So how, let me put it this way.
There were leaks that came out beforehand with some, hey, this job's going to get this,
this job's going to get this.
Most people didn't believe them because they were literally too cool to be true.
They were like, they, I don't know what the, uh, it's, it reminds me of when there were
rumors like, Hey man, were you's going to get the fucking Shinshoryuken in super.
Right.
And you're like, Oh, I wish, but he's probably not because that would be too cool.
Right.
It's that, right.
So I like right off the bat, the only thing I'm going to talk about of specific
mechanical thing here, because I don't want to pour poor,
we'll lead to tears is that my class, the dark night gets to summon a stand.
I'm dead serious.
You summon a fucking shadow clone of yourself that you fight to all.
You just don't, you, uh, man, I'm just, I'm just checking.
Oh man.
I'm just checking.
Oh man.
Uh, but yeah, no, everybody gets everything that they wanted.
Summoners get a phoenix summon.
Uh, he white man just finally have something to do with that.
Lily, everyone is happy.
Everything is great, but more interesting than that is, uh, this is reinvigorated.
My desire to play the game.
So I've been leveling up new characters and the servers have cues now.
There are so many people coming back to the game or starting up the game that
the servers have login cues again prior to the expansion.
And more than that is that, uh, when you're a new player in that game under a
hundred hours, something, you get a little green sprout next to your name to show
that you're a newbie everywhere, everywhere, almost every single time I run anything.
I get a notification says, Hey, there's somebody who's never done this dungeon before.
So the update brought in new players.
The update is bringing in a shit ton of new players.
In fact, they just announced, Hey, we're up to 16 million registered accounts.
Why is that?
Like who's going out and like purchasing FF 14 for the first time right now?
People who saw that trailer and went, Oh, wow, that's really cool.
So for example, um, let me give you a really good example here.
For whatever reason, artists are weak to this as a Mothman, Fabracchini, AO guard,
all them, all messaged me and we're like, so yeah, I got it.
And this is what I got in because I saw you flipping your shit on the live letter.
And now I'm playing it.
It seems pretty fun.
It's about the basically how to put this is a is a genre that needs evangelizers.
Fighting games are kind of the same way where no one sees a fighting game unless it's part
of a big franchise like Dragon Ball and goes, yeah, now's the time to get into fighting
games. No, they know that guy, the guy who's always into fighting games and they
see them particularly going nuts about this one.
But isn't, isn't MMOs more so like about pulling someone away from wow?
No, because isn't it like, if you're into MMOs, then you're a long time.
If you're into MMOs, then you're into like the big one and or the crazy Eve one.
And then it's about if you're into fighting games, you're into Street Fighter or
anime is basically what you're saying.
And that's why no new people get in.
OK, the, the, the, the, the people that are interested in MMOs overall is actually
a lot higher than you would think, but they either bounce off or play wow, don't
like it or and what's happening right now.
They're what is called wow refugees, which there are a lot of which is checking
this full of Street Fighter refugees.
What's the most popular MMORPG right now is while still.
OK, second place, second place would be 14.
OK, it's really frustrating because I think you remember back, I don't know,
eight, nine years ago when every MMO would say this is our concurrent player
number, this is our number of live accounts.
And that pretty much stopped when World Warcraft said, Hey, we have 11 million
subs right now because no one's ever going to beat that.
And then they changed to the metric of this is how many players have played the game.
So FF 14 says there's 14, sorry, 16 million players.
Ha ha.
It's like how many are playing though?
And the answer is somewhere around probably 600,000.
Yeah, the word active is the real.
Yeah.
That.
Uh, but just seeing just this massive explosion in regards to that train wreck.
Of a fucking live letter is encouraging.
I feel like someone that I, there's someone I speak to online that that like is like in
and out and it feels like every now and then one of these things pops up and then it's
like, OK, come back and then you fade out.
So the largest thing they ever did with 14 is that the way they've decided it with the
patch cycle is you have your expansion, then every three to five months you have a patch
which includes new shit and every, every even numbered patch is new stuff to like vertical
progression and every odd number patch is for catching up.
Like it becomes trivial to catch up to that one.
The way that they, and like when you roll over on the even number patch, it'd be like
the old stuff, the old good shit becomes the new bad shit and it goes up a level is they've
just straight up designed it and go, OK, we know you're going to quit your sub.
You're going to lapse for six months.
You're going to lapse for a year.
Then you'll come back and you'll catch up and, and that's fine.
Like they even, they've even said that out loud on the dev stream, which is wild to me
that an MMO developer would go, yeah, we understand if you just leave the game for
six months because that's money out of their pocket, right?
But it leads to a lot of people like the player count explodes when the expansion comes out.
And then six hours to now it'll be much, much lower.
But this is the, this is the biggest I've ever seen it explode before the expansion even comes out.
This is people going, I want to get a character up there so I can see this cool ass shit as soon
as it fucking May, I'm sorry, June 28th rolls around.
If you stop subbing, is there a countdown before your shit gets wiped?
No, never.
Never. Oh my God, people will go nuts.
I imagine.
Yeah, you need to keep that shit forever so that people wouldn't feel the need to resub.
OK. Did you play Guild Wars two?
I did. OK.
That was the game I explained to you, the buy to play concept.
Yes, where it's a completely separate version of this, where you actually purchased the game once.
Yes. You buy it and you play it.
Right. So now that we're this far out, I think they would sell expansions too, right?
They'd sell expansions.
But like, how do they make money without that sub model now that we're so far out?
Is it just through selling in game?
So you have your two models, which is your traditional sub MMO, right?
Sorry, three models.
You have your traditional sub MMO, right?
You have, hey, Final Fantasy and WoW, pay us $13 to $16 a month USD.
If you get a discount on it, if you buy a year or whatever, right?
Then you have your buy to play, sorry, four models, Christ,
which is then supplemented by your cash shop with your mini buys.
Then you have your straight up free to play, which is all mini buys.
Right. And then you have, I don't even know what to call it.
I guess subscription optional, which is it is buy to play, but you can subscribe
for 15 a month and you'll get a bunch of mini buy currency and bonuses, which
Star Trek Online and Elder Scrolls Online do that, where, hey, man, it's totally
free to play.
Cotor does that as well, but do you actually want infinite bag space or all
these perks, right?
And you're going to kick in that sub.
So you can like basically warframe it or like, yeah, I'd give two tiers of players
type of thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
And then there's Warframe, which is, is the pure free to play with the, with the
mini buys.
And I guess it counts because it's a weird, I don't know what the fuck that game
is anymore.
That's a weird fucking game.
But yes, everybody excited for FF 14, a shocking amount of people that I didn't
know were into it suddenly became into it.
And we're like, yeah, hey, I'm having a good time.
Yeah.
It was a really fun time to see Mothman streaming it and then realize that he's
on my server so that I could go stand next to him, but like directly behind
him, like two inches from his back of his head and do stupid, stupid shit in the
background of his stream.
I saw him say that he pretty much subs for the story.
That's fine.
A lot of people do.
That's why the patch, the, the patch months or the months with the highest player
count.
It's got a really good story.
Uh,
Dark Knights get stands.
Oh, speaking of stands, actually, I know you saw it.
I didn't, you didn't.
No, I have, I've had a busy week.
Uh, where I had, did not get to watch this week's JoJo.
It's, uh, I heard it's 30 seconds.
It's 32 seconds.
Good.
Good.
That's about seven pages, except not.
And seven pages is our 12 pages should definitely be, uh, a lot, uh, longer than that.
But so three pages for Steely Dan was 14 seconds and, uh, double that, which would
be 28 plus a little, so you know what, uh, according to the anime rules, it's pretty,
it's pretty on point.
Um, once again, hilariously, uh, language is genetic and big kudos to, uh,
Jordan was voice actor for doing a really hard job with that performance.
Cool.
Okay.
There are some real long takes in that thing that I definitely know.
I don't have the lung capacity or vocal skill to do.
Uh, awesome.
I have high hopes because it's the coolest part of part five.
Yeah.
It's, it's literally the one highlight thing that I, so we're telling me because I
can't read Japanese, so I'll have to take their word for it.
Yeah.
That in the credits, oh my God, do I watch it with my girl?
When we have, when she has time, we'll watch it together.
Yeah.
That's why I have like it's, it's not just my schedule that in the credits, it is
shown that it was in fact a completely different animation team called the Muda
team.
Oh, that's awesome.
That's really cool.
That's wild because you look at it and just about as much money went into this 32
second clip.
Then the rest of the whole rest of the episode.
Okay.
It's the, it's what the, it's the part.
It's the thing.
It's the, it's the part five thing.
Yeah.
And I have no problem telling anybody that quite for, it is downhill from here.
Yeah.
If you're, if you don't know what happens in the future of JoJo and this is all
new to you while you're watching the show week to week, this is the highlight.
And then you're just going to ride it out from here.
That dude's a jerk.
Yeah.
He's a jerk.
Established.
Yeah, I'll get to it when we get a chance.
Well, that's pretty much it for me.
If you want to check out my stuff that I do during the week, I'll be doing a Yakuza
plague tail and hat in time this week.
That's over at the twitch.tv slash angry as pet.
No, it's not.
No, I don't think, I think it's the coolest thing in part five.
I, you can disagree with me.
That's fine.
I don't think anything that happens after this point surpasses that point.
I think there's two other really awesome things that have that occur, but I don't
think they actually surpassed that of the punch fest.
I'll debate that.
I don't care.
You can disagree.
I think most of the people going, what the hell?
I think you're talking about JoJo in general, not just part five.
Oh, well, then they're just not listening properly.
I know that's how it is.
That is how it is.
People don't listen.
So, oh, hey, play FF 14.
It's a good game.
You can ask me for tips on Twitter.
It's at angry as pet as well.
Yeah, I, I, I feel like I've repeated till I'm blue in the face that
steel ball run is the greatest thing you have.
So what?
Anyway, a lot of people, hey, speaking of things, let's take a quick word from our sponsors.
Let's do that.
Haven't said that in a minute.
Yeah, I haven't said that in a minute.
What sponsors do we have this week?
This week, Castle Super Beast is sponsored by Door Dash.
Door Dash?
Door Dash.
They, they give you food.
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And away we go.
Ha, back to the weeks.
Hey, man, what up?
Hey, so, hey, I had, uh, it's weird to say like I had a busy week, but an uneventful
week.
Yeah, I know, right?
Because I had a week of doing a lot of shit that involved not watching or playing
things.
So really anything of interest.
It's like, oh, you know, I fixed the trash thing and then I went into the Canadian
tire and got that new garbage can.
Hey, you know, and it's awesome.
People did some brunches, whatever, ultimately.
But, um, in terms of stuff that I did do, I started the third birthday I saw the
third birthday.
How's that shit?
Well, no one told me.
I mean, a lot of people said a lot of things, but at no point was I
made aware that this game is not parasite Eve three, the third birthday, or even
parasite Eve, the third birthday.
No, it's this game is the third birthday.
That's right.
And it shows Parasite Eve, I guess, not even, not even because so far the word
mitochondria has not been uttered, not even a fart in the wind.
This is basically legally distinct and almost feels like another game got skinned
out, um, dinosaur planet style to have a abrasion on it.
Brankowski is is gone.
And what we have now is my clothes are getting all ripped off.
Eh, like straight up.
It's the worst.
It's so.
Let me let me take you back in time to being a square fan or square in it,
whatever.
This was a disaster.
Maybe ten years after two made people very upset.
This was what made people afeard of Final Fantasy 13.
Yeah, and the descriptions of I love lightning.
Yeah.
Because this is Toriyama over at square going to went to look at the credits on
this shit, and it was absolutely the new age FF team, the running the whole
13 running the whole show.
And it's like, mm, mm, mm, no.
It's just like when you take, you remember that kerfuffle with Tomb Raider
where some jackass getting interviewed was like, we made it so that you really
want to protect Lara.
And that came off like kind of creepy, but like I got, I kind of get it, I guess.
This, that whole era of square was just like, we want you to love the woman
like it.
She is a person and she will marry you.
Yeah.
And, and oh no, her clothes fell off.
So the, the vibe that it gives off is very, yeah, it's very much like we want
you to play the character and do the video gaming, but it shouldn't feel
like you're playing her as much as you're protecting her with her own hands.
Yes.
You know, you are guiding invisible spirit, protecting her.
It feels like while she is possessing other people and she jumping into soldiers
bodies and shit, it's fucking weird, dude.
And boy, does it like it, like I killed that fucking franchise.
Absolutely.
And, and, you know, but the, the, the, the, the funny and sad part is that because
of its name and because it was a car, a portable spinoff, this dirge of
Cerberus type thing could have easily just been ignored for a game that came
out called Parasite Eve three.
Yeah.
It would have been so super simple.
It's just like there is a Dino Crisis three, but it's in fucking space and it
came out on the Xbox original.
So I bet you they, we just all ignore all that shit and just do a Dino
Crisis who gives a shit.
And it feels like part of this as well, it's not too clear, but at least up to
this point in playing it might have something to do with the original
author not being involved at all.
No.
With this third game.
I don't believe they were involved the second one, but they were still working
off of the ideas from the first.
So with his non-involvement, there's possibly like legal ramifications for the
name.
It's they own the character.
It's weird because like, like, I'll like final, sorry.
Parasite Eve was made by the same people who made Final Fantasy seven.
Same director, like Nomura is on that cast.
Sakaguchi is on that cast.
He designed, he designed boyfriend FF reject Kyle Madigan.
Parasite Eve two was originally not supposed to star.
Aabria was supposed to be Kyle Madigan story, which he then got repurposed
into the side character role.
He looks like such a fucking FF protag.
Yeah.
Cause he's designed by Tetsuya Nomura.
Yeah.
No, wait, he's designed by a different guy and then they brought
into Tetsuya Nomura later.
Well, he got credit for everything I get wrong.
Just go check out sphere hunters video.
But, uh, yeah, but the novel was, this is one of those things where it's like the
game's source material was tied to another non square owned property.
It's fascinating because it's like every game gets further from the source material
and involves different people making it.
I mean, Aya herself, right?
Versus the original, uh, uh, novel story about the, about Eve and the twins.
And I believe the only character that actually transfers over is Myda.
So he's a character in the books.
Yeah.
So it always was straying, but like at this point, it feels like
they completely just went, nah, why, oh, yeah.
Um, so we're going to see where that goes.
But like writing alongside men on that as, uh, does he really like that game?
Yeah.
It was his favorite.
And like he's got his reasons and we are supposed to say no judgments here.
Big judgments.
We talk about exactly all of that, you know, in particular, the gameplay,
the genre shift into a, again, a game that feels like it was skinned to
become this after it was originally just a soldier siphon filter thing.
Um, it, it feels very, very clear, but like he likes the behind the
shoulder, more run and gun action thing.
A lot of the spells are gone.
You don't have any casting anymore.
You just have these, uh, prox, you know, which are, and just combat
modifiers, great, as opposed to like actual like FF style spells that were
kind of cool, man, it's, it fucking bums me out because parasite Eve and
vagrant story are the only two games I'm aware of that use that battle
system at all.
And that battle system kicks ass.
Well, you hit the button in the grid, you know, this, this year comes up back
then, you know, it's the shit anymore.
You would probably, you would probably like hybrid heaven.
But I don't know for sure.
I'm not, I've heard of it, but I'm not super.
Hybrid heaven is a game where when you get into combat in 3D, almost
like a chess board of like squares appear.
And you can step onto each of them and you can walk, step away, step forward,
whatever.
And, uh, you can basically initiate moves within a certain range of squares.
Okay.
And then once you're within a certain range of squares, you can, sounds like
a strategy or a PG, uh, but it's not.
It's not turn based, right?
Oh, okay.
It's active.
That's odd.
And then you, and you pause in the moment that you're going to do a move and
then select your, that's very odd group.
Yeah.
So the game, so you're in within grab range and you go to pick grab and then
you take an attempt and you pick what you want from the list.
Yeah.
It's quite wild, but I really enjoyed, uh, what the head going on.
And like, there's even a multiplayer setup for it.
So it's, it's pretty interesting.
Um, but yeah, this just kind of goes full on run and gun.
And there's definitely something.
I mean, of all the things lost in the third birthday, one of the ones that you
don't really, it's not at the forefront of your mind, but the feeling of running
into a hallway in one or two, and you're like, fuck, there's these two big
shitty monsters right there.
And I know they're there.
They're going to take a lot of ammo to deal with, but once they're dealt with,
they're gone and the color on the map changes and I can now use this room at my
leisure, um, and you were afraid to run into them.
And then you'd run back sometimes.
And then the camera would be like, Oh, now it's a tighter shot.
It's scarier because I'm at I is back.
Um, now you're in a room and just monsters are spawning out of the air out of a portal.
And just attacking you until, until the, the, the, the, the, uh, what should
we call it?
The, the, the face, um, the wave is done, you know, basically.
And it's like a wave of, and then they dropped down, you shoot a bunch and then
they dropped dead and disappear.
And you're like, well, I don't care about these monsters.
Not that I cared about the other months.
Exactly what you mean.
Yeah.
Right.
You'd, in parasite Eve one, you watch the rat fucking morph and pop and turn
into this big gross thing.
And then you were dealing with those gross things later on.
And then like almost each of these things would have like an introduction and
then a placement as a hurdle in an area on the map that you needed to deal with.
They were given special consideration and significance.
Uh, we've encountered maybe five or six types of monsters and I don't even,
I can barely tell what their patterns are or what they do or what they look like.
Are they evil?
Well, some of them will have legs and they jump at you and other ones float and
shoot at you.
And then there's others that do both.
Sounds so good.
And you're just fucking shooting them and it doesn't even matter what they do.
You know, and, and, uh, the bosses are more involved, certainly, but it just
genera sizes fucking everything, dude.
And then this whole soldier body switch thing, I don't know what's going on with
it.
This is wild mitochondria.
This is wild.
And holy shit.
Do I feel bad for people that were waiting as long as they did to hear about
this, to get this, and then effectively like to hear as well, that it was originally
a mobile only game that they decided to up port to Vita, uh, this is supposed
to be like a before crisis.
That shit's crazy.
Like you can see and feel the simplicity of the gameplay now, like after the fact,
but like thinking that this would be an acceptable way direction to go in for
people that liked those first two is just, that's really, I remember writing the
game off when I heard about the fucking battle damage mechanic.
It's like a primary mechanic and was like, and was like, you spend BP to heal
your clothes or to buy new upgrades in X for your experience and your, and your
casts and like so far there's no advantage or does nothing you gain from
re from healing your battle damage.
It doesn't do anything.
Well, I guess you just got to get all torn up then.
You just end up, you just, you just stare at ass cheeks.
That's, I guess you just got to do it.
You know, and the most optimum way to play the game.
It is wild that you can walk into a shower from minute one, but you, there's
no, there's not yet been a shower cut scene.
There's just been a shower on and ready to go.
And we know where it is, they're saving it, but it has not gone down yet.
Um, and everyone has voice acting now and they're talking and doing what they
can and Aya is a Pokemon that speaks in he may grunts in damsel barks.
I have such a great character in P one.
I feel like back in the LP, I even said exactly as much and she's on his date
with his loser, right?
And everyone bursts into flames and she pulls her piece and the guy starts
going nuts and she yells at him, get the fuck out of here.
And she fucking shoulder checks him off the out of his chair without putting
her gun down in, in like the evening gown dress.
It's like, that's the character done.
She's a cop.
It's really simple.
And she can class it up, but she'll still pull her piece and it keeps coming back
to that in each of these moments.
Like literally, and like, it's not like I started, I'll just spoil that.
Like I start a counter at some point.
Oh no, I start a fucking like a counter.
And the numbers rarely, rarely stay single digit in each cut scene.
And to the point where it's like lying in a bed and getting out of bed requires
an end you're just like, don't you want to protect that shit?
Don't you want to mammary with this is the fucking cop on the force that was
well, and maybe in our own head can and talking shit with peers and, and all the
people at the station, she was slightly more hesitant and vulnerable than the
character we created.
Admittedly.
Right.
She still fought a flying monster demon on a fucking horse carriage with on fire
horses in Central Park.
That happened.
She was still buddy copping.
So you know, when I look back, she's kind of like Samus, honestly, basically
the way that like her, her, well, real Sam, you know, whatever, like, but
she's also NYPD is cool and like at the end of the day, Samus is Samus.
But what if Sam is joined the NYPD?
Yeah, there would be a layer of a fuck you buddy.
You know, get on the fucking ground that you just can't, you can't shake.
That's a layer that's in there.
No matter how much of a of a fucking he may you want.
And maybe there's a better word for it.
There's a lot of there's a lot of memory needing he mays out in the NYPD.
So then you have to go, OK, well, I guess the experiences of the
care, the character went through, changed them.
Well, that's the other bit.
And then I'm like, yeah, really, we're fucking going to
Daenerys Targaryen on me right now.
Like we're seriously going into that level of assassination.
OK, in reverse, sure.
You know, and then my, my, my, my, like full on and night Shyamalan twist theory
start coming out about where this is going and what we're actually looking
at, of which I have a couple, but regardless, regardless.
Tom right now, that is, I feel bad for the people that cared.
It sucked.
It sucked real because I don't actually care that much.
So it, it, it, I played that parasite Eve one on release, like within a week
of it coming out and instant classic.
Well, it's one of my favorite games ever, right?
P two.
I, I, I played it, didn't really care for it because it's, it's very different.
Right.
But like hearing, hey, they're making a new parasite Eve game.
It's going to be PSP game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then just like, it wasn't so much that the game was the way it was.
It was that I got to look at it as like, well, that one game sure is good
because this shit is dead now.
It is dead as hell.
And we're never going to get another one ever.
See, I don't, I, I, I'm talking about a PSP game right now.
I know, but I don't, I don't think that's the case in the sense that you can
know it's not that it's likely.
It's just that it's not impossible that someone would come along years later
and go, Hey, that third game sucked.
We can do better.
Let's go back to it and DMC five it and just make a new entry.
Talk to the guy who wrote the original books, get a new series.
Like, and that's the kind of story, the way that the, the way those games were
put together, we're like, the story is wacky and old, but also aiming really high.
That first one is aiming for some high concept sci-fi and it ends up kind of
stumbling around a bunch.
Oh, a lot of that's because of translation at the time at square was not the best.
But in the current day, in the modern era, we could probably do that story a lot
of justice modern era is ready for mitochondria because it is the powerhouse of
the cell and I think like modern science as well as a massive background element
to everything about like this cop story would be a really interesting thing to
see today.
And you don't even have to like, I feel like square would be uncomfortable with
going back to that genre.
So they would want it to be like on that, that new FF 15, FF seven remake thing,
actiony thing, and they would just want, they'd want it to be that because
that's the modern game.
And you know what, sure.
Right.
That could be fine as well.
Like the switch of the camera is not the problem.
It really could just be a lot of that.
But like, I feel like Parasite three could be done justice.
I honestly, at this point, all I want is a PC port of the original game because
have you seen the magic people did with the fan made FF seven remaster?
Have you seen this fucking thing?
No, you know that AI shit that people throw textures into and good textures
come back out.
Yeah, they did that to all of FF seven.
And when you run it in the PC version and you have, you know, the resolution
highs of them, the models look good.
It is a HD remaster.
Yeah, but the backgrounds are still renders, hard.
No, Willie, they're, they're, they're throwing the, the pre-rendered backgrounds
into the AI machine and getting four K quality versions of those scenes.
Oh, the backgrounds all the way across the board.
Not the shitty SNK ones.
No, no, they're, they look fucking great.
Okay.
They look like, like the renders and the 3D itself.
And the 3D, well, that gets cleaned up naturally by just cranking the resolution.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's like, I've seen model replacement.
Yeah.
The models and stuff's really goofy because then you have realistic sized cloud
and Barrett and Popeye, everyone else.
Well, what was actually interesting, one of the earliest mods I remember was in a
boy's battle cloud on the overworld, which is like, it's a much higher
quality model, obviously, but the rest of the world doesn't fucking matter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just do that.
Just, just, just use that AI shit.
Give me good pre-rendered backgrounds and I'll be happy.
Yeah.
But at the same time, why so much noise is made about Parasite even now?
Cause it's just one of those, it's like Dino crisis, as you say, it's just one
of those like classics from back in the day, relic of the past.
And you know what?
You might get her in appearing somewhere in a, in a compilation game.
Yeah.
She might throw a show up for fun in theater rhythm or Dissidia.
Dude, I knew you were going to say the word Dissidia and they keep adding
really cool shit to that Dissidia NT game.
There's only one problem that games fucking terrible.
It is awful.
Yeah.
And they keep adding these cool costumes and care.
Oh, wow.
It's fucking awful.
Yeah.
It's the, there's, there's, there's a new feeling of sadness when the
celebration game of the thing you love is actually just not a very good game.
You see all might and jump force.
Ah, yes.
It looks great.
Yeah.
Yeah, but he's in fucking jump force.
Jojo.
We've been through it.
Oh man.
You know, we went through it twice, twice, three times.
Technically really was the third of the seven sand user for you or no, no, no.
I mean, I mean the, the take, the retake, and then the sequel.
I still think the best ones fucking fight for the future heritage for the future
heritage for the future.
Yep.
Fight for the future street fighter.
Capcom.
Yeah.
This is a good fighting game.
Yeah.
It's a good fighting game.
Yep.
Except when people pick pet shop.
Yep.
It's just if you could just get cyber connect to be good visual people.
Yeah.
And then get another company to do everything else.
Like literally every single other part of it.
Other other celebration games that are filled with content that are just otherwise
disappointing, but you're so happy to see stuff.
Period.
I mean, I'm sure like one of those common writer games that has like fucking
everyone from all areas.
Well, they're Musso's.
So Musso's very wildly in quality.
You have high rewards on one end and you have like Berserk on the other.
Does make me sad that some of those fun or picks in MVCI are probably never
coming back like monster hunter who's like, if God, just do Capcom versus if
they do Capcom versus we can everyone can come back.
Monster Hunter in MVCI like had an effect on me.
Yeah.
Like that's one of those characters that I'm going to think about down the line.
Yeah.
When I'm not thinking about anything else one time this one character existed in
this one thing so uniquely fun in everything about how she played that.
I'm just going to miss.
I'm going to sorely miss everything about that.
Um, yeah, MVCI is a good example of that for sure.
Hyrule Warriors.
Hyrule Warriors is a good game.
No, no, no.
Yeah, the Hyrule Warriors gameplay wasn't bad bad in a way where I was like,
Oh, this is a shame.
I just got bored of it.
Yeah, because there's too much, you know, or that, but I also suspect I'd be the
kind of person that would get bored with most Musso's.
Yeah, which is why I don't play them.
Um, but there we are.
Anyway, so, um, that's fucking happy birthdays, uh, going on, uh, with me and
men also, um, it continued going through Sekiro.
And I'm definitely taking my time at that because I'm doing it at stream pace.
Yeah.
You know, so weird bursts of five or so hours at a time.
Yeah.
Um, you iced.
So, I mean, we're branching, but, uh, I'm at the Meaboo Village on one.
And, uh, I'm at the, um, the monks on the mountain side.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Um, going that way.
And then I want to say that like, Oh, the last, the last thing I, I, uh, the
last thing I beat was, uh, a bridge night, man.
That is one of the best encounters in the game.
That was fucking incredible.
So I had the lowest low into the highest high.
Yeah.
Because do you remember what's right next to that dude?
You got a little shortcut that leads you into the cave with the first headless.
Oh yeah.
And I never actually took the shot because I was like, I don't want to do my
consumables, right?
At the time I had, uh, five, no seven, I had seven papers and then I had enough
money to go back and buy the anti-terror flask.
Yeah.
So I'm like, great.
That's about, that's vital.
Yeah.
So I have a re, um, spawning.
I have a re, uh, a refilling flask for anti-terror.
So that's fine.
Now it just comes down to how much fucking, uh, paper I've got.
Well, you need about two papers per honest shot.
Yeah.
And basically after failing the first couple of times, and then I went, then I
went back in and fought and tried to learn it with like, um, with no spending, no
paper, which like, uh, which I did and it was like, okay.
And then eventually men was like, yeah, man, I think you're ready.
It would have been dead by now.
Like, cool.
Use the paper.
Totally fucking died.
Yeah.
And that was the end of that.
It is, it is the shittiest mechanic.
It is so awful.
Yep.
And I basically like, I have no problem saying that like, not only did I get
salted in that, but it was not salt at losing to the hard boss because you play
a fucking hard game.
It's salt that you can't attempt the hard.
I am not allowed to learn.
You're punishing me for learning.
I got so mad at that stupid aspect of what is now the worst part of this game to
me, that I don't even care to get, I don't care for the reward.
I don't care about the headless.
That entire part of the game can go fuck off on that game.
It can go fuck off forever.
I don't even give a shit.
And if at some point later on, I'm going to be able to farm for those items.
Maybe I'll feel better and go do it.
But at this point it's, it's, yeah, it's a stain, you know, and the stain of
like the, the spirit of the game being hard is based on the idea.
I mean, I don't know.
I can, I mean, you can do it.
It's not that you can do it.
It's that like, like you can cower it out from certain things and be like, um,
it's just too hard.
I don't, I'm too scared or whatever.
But if you have the attitude of like, I'm going to attempt the challenge and no
matter how much it's kicking your ass, you will eventually persevere.
If you try and try and try again, re-attempting the challenge.
Yeah.
Well, this thing means you're not allowed to retry the challenge.
Absolutely terrible.
It means no, you're, you just be, be perfect, do it.
Like whatever the stupid idea behind it is.
On replay, it's no problem, but like who cares on replay?
Yeah.
It's, it's easily the worst part of the game so far.
And I got so mad at that part of it.
I know I know what the fuck they were thinking because like the, they have had
that, that type of encounter in every single one of their games like this.
And none of them act this way.
And I started, I remember like, and, and of course the advice comes in and says,
just do this, just jump less.
Just, I'm like, yeah, just do a lot of things that I want to try to learn to
then master and then crush it.
What I ended up doing is getting all the way to the end of the game and then
getting the, uh, the, the fucking, uh, be the ability by the confetti.
Yeah.
And then like, I'm talking like 95th percentile through the game and went back
and just iced all of them in like two seconds because I could now.
Yeah.
So my stats were higher and like, and I got a bunch of shitty rewards.
It didn't mean fuck.
Yeah.
It's like, Oh, awesome.
What a fantastic experience.
Yeah.
I, I don't even care.
It is, it is like taking me out on a mechanical level and I'm able to just
progress and not give a fuck about any of those challenges.
So, uh, I was real vexed at the game at that point.
And then I was like, fuck this, I'm crossing the bridge.
And then you got that fight.
And then I got one of the best fucking boss fights I've encountered so far.
It's great.
And I did it in one.
Yeah.
And I got lucky on my positioning that the second time I downed him,
he was right by the edge.
I got the exact same thing.
I think I got him in one and was like, why is everybody going nuts?
That's like, Oh, cause like I didn't, I didn't even understand that he
doesn't get killed by the same, same.
I, so I may have to knock him right the fuck off.
Yeah.
And I, so I doubted him.
He got back up and I was like, Oh, I guess he has two points.
Right.
I didn't see them, but I guess they're there.
Yeah.
And then, and then I could knock them off the second time.
And it was like, yeah, actually he just keeps getting back up forever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
When I fought him the second time on new game plus, I actually had a much
harder time because I just didn't put him in the right spot.
Right.
And satisfyingly, it was also one of those fights that I spent all of my
prosthetic, not all my prosthetic, I used all my prosthetics on him.
Yeah.
So like I switched from his own firecrackers or his son's firecrackers.
Oh, to the Sabi Maru to the shuriken, you know, like, and like got a nice,
and I'm like, God damn it.
Why do you build me up buttercup?
Just to let me down.
Yeah.
Well, you know, coming off the lowest low to the fucking highest high.
And, and it really was just a weird moment of like, I feel like I just
experienced like the, yeah, literally the lowest thing in the game.
The worst by far to what has been a peak.
Like the whole game is like a seven at worst for at most part, usually a eight
or nine and like, I would say the, the certain boss fights are 10s.
Like, have you fought the eight yet?
No, he's a 10.
The final boss sequence is a 10.
Genichiro, the mid boss is a 10, right?
The, the fucking headless is like a one.
It's, it's, it's objectively awful.
It makes, it makes you feel bad, makes you feel stupid.
It frustrates you and the rewards suck, by the way.
The rewards are not good either.
So there's, there's one later on the game where you have to fight two underwater.
Wow.
Yeah.
Wow.
Hey, chat spoilers.
Fantastic.
Well, anyway, I don't worry about it.
Yeah.
I, it's something I assumed or was hoping would be the case and yeah.
Ah, fuck.
Damn it.
Stop it, guys.
You guys are bad.
That sucks.
Well, anyway.
Um, so yeah, that's what you get for not beating games the day they come out.
Yeah, it happens.
Yeah.
I fortunately, the story is garbage.
Yes.
So it doesn't even matter.
I can, you know, do you know what I meant now when I said, Hey, everyone's been asking
for a from software story told more clearly and now we got one and it shows off.
No, go back to being vague.
Yeah.
Go back to being vague and mysterious.
Yeah.
Because who cares?
Um, no, no.
Paths of the same that Pat spoiled it.
No, no, I knew about the monkey.
I, the monkeys in one of the trailers, I'm aware of the monkey.
I know about that.
That's not, that's not the spoilers.
Someone else dropped something else in there saying it was an 11 and I'm just
like, that wasn't necessary.
But anyway, uh, so, uh, that continues as well.
And if you want to check out of this footage as well as, uh, taking a peek at
Dragon marked for death, what the fuck is that?
That is the new Inti creates game, uh, done in the style of, you know,
Mega Man zeros at X, ZX, A, um, Advent.
It's so crazy to me that we're so far away from ZX Advent that that is an
inspiration now.
Yeah.
And the art style is clear.
Yeah.
And, uh, it's, uh, but it's multiplayer and it's a fantasy setting and you pick
one of four classes and it's has a really weird way of selling itself.
It has a, um, it has a retail where you buy the game as normal.
Yeah.
As you buy to play, you buy for 40 bucks and it's got, you know, you're,
you're, you're, uh, whatever your caster, you're heavy, you're ninja,
you're adventurer, whatever.
Um, and then some DLC and then on the digital Eve shop, it has two versions of
the game that are 20 bucks each and they have two characters.
Okay.
And then you buy the DLC for the other two.
And so it seems like what their goal was, was to have the shelf version sit
next to other games of an equal price and then have the e shop become sitting
next to games of an equal price.
Smart.
Yeah.
It's weird, but I get it.
I get it.
I get it.
Uh, I'd love to see and find out if that works or not.
You know, where it's like something's price is based on what's next to it.
Well, I mean, that's the reality in a lot of places.
That's why I raced to the bottom in the mobile market.
You know, I mean, the idea of there being like a $20 game, all that you buy off
the shelf and then you take it home and then there's $20 DLC.
It's like, I can imagine a lot of people just being like, fuck that.
But then you're also going to have to pick which two of these physical for two
characters, you know what I mean?
It's going to be too expensive to print out these two versions.
And I go, yeah, some people might get lucky and they only care about two
characters or one even.
Um, so, uh, took a look at that and a little bit repetitive.
Unfortunately, um, not super duper like, uh, uh, nothing super fresh in
terms of just the platforming and the way you take out enemies as a group.
It's, there's some fun co-op stuff that you do together, but it seems pretty basic.
And, uh, I think it would be a lot cooler if the promise of the way the, the
later ZX games feel like, um, the Mega Man Zero games, the way you feel at the
end, where you have a lot of different weapons, a lot of things you can do.
If you have your characters able to do the same thing in these games, then
it's going to be fucking sick.
But early game felt pretty like, yeah, you know, um, but yeah, that's it.
I know a little bit of, a little bit of MK 11, just to, just to warm myself up on
this, to wet the pallet.
Yep.
Yeah.
But that's about it.
I mean, it's a big fighting game weekend.
Combo breaker went down, you know, and, uh, there's some fun stuff happening.
Uh, but yeah, if you want to check out the third birthday, uh, complete
with a super awkward wooly intro that makes people feel uncomfortable.
Yeah, it does.
You can head on over to wooly versus on Twitch or on, um, YouTube.
Uh, and you can also check out, of course, the Sekiro stream that I'm doing
and get into fighting games, which, uh, I want to confirm, no, I want to wait
till I confirm it, but tomorrow we should have a pretty cool episode, uh, with
a pretty fun guest that's going to be, uh, yeah.
Anyway, I don't want to sell whatever, something good should be happening tomorrow.
We're going to polish off for the evil too as well.
Yep.
Uh, you're like, uh, like an hour and a half from the end.
Yeah.
Tops.
Yeah.
We'll, we'll, we'll schedule that after this, see what we can do it.
Um, fortunately after replaying that back up to where I did last time, I
still feel warmed.
Well, I mean, the difference in time right now is enormous.
It was, it was months in between that's those two bits.
Yep.
So that's, that's definitely going to go down as well.
Uh, and then, and then, uh, the week, uh, the first week of June is going to be really fun.
Uh, you're going to see some, some, some wild content, some wipeouts, some big, big, big
battles going down, big rivals are going to be confronted, uh, on the week of the
first, I'm just going to tease that for now.
Yeah.
I have my, I have my own idea for something similar.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
Settle some things.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Cliff, Cliff top battles.
Yeah.
Cliff top battles are going down.
We should talk about that after the stream.
See what we're going to do.
Yep.
Pointing at the WrestleMania stand right now.
Mm hmm.
Uh, but that's over at Wally versus.
So take a peek.
Take a click, maybe even sub or don't, but just watch the video.
Yeah.
Um, the whole video and go click away halfway.
Uh, uh, and I'll also, uh, take the moment to, uh, pimp some upcoming traveling because,
like the concept of travel.
Well, I mean, the concept of travel is pretty fun.
Yeah, do it.
It's the destination, the destination.
So, uh, the first weekend of June or second, I should say the June 7th, 8th and 9th.
I'm going to be, no, the first weekend is actually the first.
So that's why I'm saying it's technically the second.
It's a, it's a five weekend month.
It's one of those weird five weekend months.
Uh, you don't like it.
June 7th, 8th and 9th.
I'm going to be down at combo, uh, not combo breaker at combo.
Con combo con combo con out in Michigan.
And, um, going to be down there with Lil V mills and Cura Buckland and HD max is
putting on a good show as usual.
I can't wait to come on down, have some fun.
Um, there's some, some events being planned that are going to be a good time.
Definitely know how to put on a good show.
And, uh, yeah, if you are in that area and you want to come chill, I will be around
for, uh, that whole weekend.
Then I want to say, uh, there is not going to announce that yet.
That's still pending.
There's obviously RTX in the first week of July, RTX.
We've got July 6th and 7th, uh, 5th, 5th, 6th and 7th.
Uh, yeah, in early July, exactly where we're going to be, uh, doing a castle
super beast panel, you want to just like fucking wing it.
Yeah, just record.
Yeah, just do a live episode.
Yeah, just fucking wing it.
Just do a live episode.
That's it.
Hey, fuckers.
I don't know.
We'll figure it out.
You showed up, punked you.
You shit.
Yeah.
Um, I don't think we have enough time for a live episode.
I don't think they're going to give us a five hour block.
But we tend to be a slightly long winded.
Yeah.
Uh, but that is going down in the Texas.
So if you want to come to the rooster teeth, uh, you can come see us.
I should get a big hat.
Oh, like a 10, 10 gallon drum.
I, you know, I usually look like a jackass.
I bet I'd look like a big, big, stupid fucking jackass walking around Austin
with like a big old cowboy hat.
I mean, yeah, but you also know, because you basically just turned into Gideon.
From, from, uh, fucking Gravity Falls.
I don't remember who the fuck that is.
The villain, the little kid villain.
The, with the, with the, like shit's gone.
Memory to leave it.
He was obsessed with Mabel on it.
Chubby kid with the, with the drawl.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now y'all see here.
Right.
And he's gotten, he's got the giant fucking cowboy hat.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You can get a cowboy hat that's the size of you.
Yeah.
I'm going to do it.
And it would probably work.
I'm a cowboy hat.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm going to do it.
And I could do the black guy cowboy hat thing.
That's fine.
It, it, it now it is.
Um,
and, uh, we'll figure out blazing saddles bits on stage.
Jesus Christ.
All right.
Stirrups and spurs and fucking leather coats and bandanas hanging off the sides
and where the white women at.
Yeah.
All of it.
All of it.
Lasso.
I don't know how to hog type people.
Heard that clip now.
No, it's a funny.
That's a good one.
R Kelly freaking out, losing his mind.
I've seen, I've seen that a fight for my life right now.
Why are you fighting for your life?
Our Kelly, I don't know how to talk to people.
What are you talking about?
Our Kelly Kelly.
Why are you so upset?
Uh, cause he's been accused of hog tying people.
Yeah.
Well, so, you know, um, yeah, so that's going down.
Uh, and then, uh, there is con bravo, July 26, 27, 28.
You're going to be hanging out with some friends there.
It's con season, con season.
Of course, Evo's coming up.
I'm going to be attending.
Uh, that's the August, uh, uh, second, third and fourth.
You hear that, everyone?
Wally is going to win Evo this year.
I'm going to be sitting in the chair of a player, but if things go
well, maybe more.
Oh, hey, that'd be cool.
Maybe more attempts are being made.
We'll see what happens.
You make those attempts.
Yeah.
I'm, I'm applying for a job, y'all.
Yeah, that's good.
Trying to get some work, man.
Yeah, man.
It's been pretty rough.
They even pay those people.
No.
Okay.
It's an honor job.
Exposure bucks.
Exposure bucks.
FGC love dollars.
FGC love dollars sound like they're grimy.
They're grimy dollars.
Maybe now our cap will accept me.
No, no, no, it's okay.
Hey, man.
Event hubs ran that fighter pedia story.
I appreciated it.
Yeah.
You know, um, a bare minimum, it's a fun hang with Max and the boys.
But, uh, evil going down and we'll see what I'm down there doing.
And then after that, yeah, it's pretty much all clear.
Uh, except for my eventual late summer return to glorious Nippon.
Oh, hey.
Mm-hmm.
We'll have to organize some podcast shenanigans then, I suppose.
We'll have to figure it out because I'm not, I'm not sitting in here in
your house by myself.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
No, that's not okay.
I'm not going to do that, but the return, the return happens.
Japan part two.
Eurek, chick, boogeroo.
Why did you do this?
I didn't want to do it.
Why?
You didn't want to do it.
It just happened.
Yeah, shut up.
Okay, news shut up.
You asked.
I didn't want to say it just came out of my mouth.
I had a heated gamer moment.
Hey, you know what's booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo booboo news.
What's better than what's better than not, what's better than not news, fake news?
What's better than fake news?
Uh, announcement countdowns to the announcements.
More Death Stranding on Wednesday.
The announcement has been made that we will find out in the future.
More Death Stranding on Wednesday.
The announcement has been made that we will find out more about Death Stranding in an announcement.
I gotta say though.
On May 29th.
Is the tagline not count the rope?
Yeah.
That made me giggle like a dumb bitch when I read that.
Was it count the rope or was it pull the rope, cut the rope?
What was it?
Something the rope.
Cut the rope, create rope, create the rope, create the rope, create the rope, create the
rope.
It's stupid sounding.
It sounds like they're talking about wieners.
You have to create the rope before you push it.
Anyway, that trailer, that little video they showed showed nothing.
Yeah.
It was a hand.
Hopefully we see a something on May 29th.
I recently had a conversation about this with somebody somewhere.
About comropes?
No, not that one.
Yeah.
This was something else where I forget the nature of it, but it was basically just that
like you want to talk about being a feared, getting a feared.
Really?
A little bit.
There's a possibility that the cutscenes in this game will be the most brilliant high
concept things ever.
There's a possibility that the actual game will offer no explanations to all the things
we've been wondering about.
And there's an actual possibility that the backpacking across empty landscapes will not
be very fun.
Well, there's two ways I can look at this.
One is the way that I would usually say it's like it is somewhat worrying at how little
of the game they have shown off for so long.
Usually that's a kind of a danger sign, right?
It's like, well, what is it?
You know, you know when a game comes out and the first question people have is, but what
do you do?
Yeah.
That's not good.
Right?
Yeah.
On the other hand, I look at this and I go, this is a somewhat unique situation where
Kajima Productions has been given carte blanche to use as much money as they want and appear
to have no responsibilities to the game whatsoever in its marketing or production.
Well, maybe carte blanche was really just Andrew House's personal credit card.
But what I mean is that maybe this is how Kajima would have wanted to fucking sell games
if Konami wasn't like make a fucking E3 trailer.
You know?
Yeah.
Could be.
Could be.
I don't want this to be...
I'm firmly neutral, which is not where I want to be with a new Kajima game.
I want to be walking down the street with you from Burger Joint, arguing for like three
hours about whether or not Liquid Snake's ghost arm is going to figure into the boss's
backstory based on the trailer.
The... yeah.
The thing... and I'm remembering the announcement hype was as high as it could get.
Yeah.
Because it was like, he got kicked out, he got his own new studio coming in.
I'm going to do this weird shit.
Ludens was a badass from day one.
Yeah.
Right?
And then finally, when they revealed those trailers, they were wildly exciting because
of how fucking crazy they were.
They're so weird.
They're so interesting.
But they're cool.
Visual, cool, and weird.
And you're like, yes, yes, yes, yes, but that only goes so far.
And at some point you're like, okay, but what's the video game though?
How do I shoot the gun?
And now we have these like, there might be no gun.
No, they're going to be gun though.
There might be no gun.
They're going to be gun.
There might be no...
You know they're going to be gun.
There might be nothing.
They're going to be gun though.
I mean, at some point...
Mads Nicholson had a gun.
Well, think about the complexity of Phantom Pain, right?
What if the baby was the gun?
Think about the complexity of Phantom Pain, where how much of that development was Kojima
kind of creating this insane experience where Big Boss was standing in a desert doing anything
he wanted to do.
Right?
And then I almost feel like that was the majority of it.
And then at some point they went, okay, now let's start putting a few buildings and people
around and kind of spread them out here.
You know?
And that's not...
Those areas are empty.
And that's not what Kojima's strong points are.
So Death Stranding already not being a narrative experience, you know what, is really already
worrying because Kojima's strengths are super...
Just wait till Wednesday, bro.
You'll know.
You'll probably know one way or the other.
Like if there's anybody who I want to make Crash Bandicoot fucking hallway FF13 games,
it's this guy.
Yeah, you're right.
We want him doing those types of games more than anybody.
I want a cutscene hallway and then a boss fight and then a cutscene hallway about Muff.
I'd never say that about any other fucking director, but for him, 100%.
100% that.
We don't know yet though.
We do not know yet.
I want another...
This is all just worrying.
I want a character to talk about memes in that game and for a different character to
tell them, shut up about the memes, okay?
Basically.
And then I go, aha, it's the thing with the memes.
So that's what we're going to find out in two days' time.
Speaking of actually, a bit of a side tangent, a lot of MGS2's dialogue is now fucking hilarious,
by the way.
When it came out, meme had not fully reached dumb image macro level knowledge.
It was closer to its original actual word of, it's the cultural equivalent of a gene.
But now when you go back, remember how funny it was in Revengeance when Monsoon tells
you that memes are the DNA of the soul and that that was the funniest thing in the fucking
world?
And now it's just completely ruined.
MGS2 is nonsense now because it's like, yeah, Lolcat is the fucking spirit that we pass
on to the young.
A game where the key word gets repeated literally hundreds of times in the script.
And the word now means jokes.
Like, yeah, if Mitochondria became slang for some kind of butt thing, some kind of weird
butt play.
Yeah.
Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
The games would be ruined effectively, retroactively, you know, so anyway, I'm really, I remain
cautiously optimistic.
But I hate announcements to the announcements.
It's the worst.
You know what I do like?
What do you like?
The complete opposite of this?
Yeah, which is it's out at the, or at the very least, yo, we're in alpha.
Here's a key.
Go try it.
There are so many keys for Neo to going around.
I had like 10 different people go, I'm not going to use my key.
You want it?
So I got a key.
Yeah.
That's what?
It's Neo.
It's more Neo.
It's Neo.
You turn into a demon now.
So this is a fucking sequel.
This is in the truest sense of the word.
But because they worked so hard on the last game, if they if they jump off or the last
game ended, that's a pretty good start.
Well, what I was going to say is if you ended up if you ended up stopping Neo early on in
its life cycle last time, you're going to see a whole bunch of quality of life improvements
that you missed out on because they kept making this fucking game.
I keep wanting to go back to Neo.
I just need to figure out the stat and armor stuff is so complex and I don't want it to
be there.
You know, I love it because it allows glam glamour.
No, the glamour shit is is great.
Like I was just talking to fucking Eogard where like they're not even a level cap at
the favorite thing they do in 14 is fucking glam their doll, right?
Dressing your dolls up in your video game is for everyone.
It's where Warframe makes like almost all of its fucking money is is is making your
doll pretty and extending that feature to more games is paramount.
I just mean the stats on the gear.
There's a lot like even for a guy like me, there's a lot of fucking weird stats and the
stats that you do have don't follow like the what I would call I guess the D&D classics,
which is strength, dex, etc.
They're weird amalgams and it's unclear if I want that.
So you pick up like this weird sword that's terrible in every way, but it's got amazing
luck like purple luck and you're like, do I is this good?
Hold on to this.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Neo continues to be like, like, even if I'm not giving it the time of day, I will admire
it from afar.
Yeah.
I go back and bounce off that game like once every three or four months because it's doing
the most combat wise.
Yeah.
Right.
It's all the souls likes.
It's the one that is doing like it gives you multiple buttons and stances.
I will say that as a product, Neo one is probably a much better game than Sekiro.
There's way.
I have no problem with that sentence way, way more shit in there.
I have no problem.
It is good and impressive.
Oh yeah.
No, Team Ninja did a better samurai souls than from softed.
Absolutely.
Which I thought is a hilarious compared to how I look.
I'm not done yet.
Yeah.
But right.
Opinion pending.
Yeah.
But I feel like so far just on a combat level, I definitely feel that way more to it.
Yeah.
Sekiro, you know, like in this genre of game, like you don't actually need more than like
you need.
You don't need more than one like a sword swing button in many cases and a lot of games
don't bother giving you that.
Yeah.
Right.
The combat doesn't need to get complex because damage and difficulty or learning the weapons
weapons variety will be enough.
But this going over and above and creating weapon variety and stance variety and what
and ability trees for each weapon thing is for this, right?
Is that wild?
I remember they they they would add that you came out with like five weapons total.
I think they're up to seven and it's like, oh, we added one weapon.
And I'm like, oh, that's pretty lame.
And then I get a hold of it.
And like, oh, every weapon is actually three weapons.
And every one of those three stances has a complicated move set that has its own skill
tree.
Wow.
And you compare that to a Sekiro, which has one weapon with one move set.
Like you remember when we talked about Sekiro, our number one complaint is that you get
all these moves, but you can't actually use them.
Yeah.
It's Neo.
It's the opposite.
You're fucking drowning in a move set Sekiro, you get you get prosthetics and Sekiro and
prosthetics are basically Mega Man upgrades.
You're not running through a stage with fucking a gust using it as your main thing the whole
time.
You pull it out and then you put it away.
Yeah.
You know, Neo.
Yeah.
You're absolutely surrounded and overwhelmed in like, like what how you want it, what style
you want to use.
And then you have the branches with each one.
You have the specific move upgrades and then you get the one thing I will say is that like
Sekiro does a really fun thing by having parry button and pasta fucking nuts.
Parry and posture are wild and really, really fun.
But the problem with me anyway is that's the game's like big trick.
And then when you beat the game, when you beat all the bosses and you've beaten the
game, that trick is done because you now you just you just know, right?
And I mean, in terms of like, like there's so much more going on with like how much Neo
gives you and how much you can do and then the multiplayer aspects and whatnot as well.
Like that.
So one of the things about the Neo 2 Alpha that really shocked me was that I did not know
that you were going to be a creative character, right?
And you'd be a guy or a lady now, which is a feature they added in Neo 2, sorry, in
Neo original at the end, at the end.
But the craziest thing and it made me say something kind of stupid on Discord.
But I clicked the fourth character creator is like, oh my God, there's a real black
guy as a character selector in this, right?
And my friends on Discord went with the foot, what?
Because they weren't playing like, no, you know, in Japanese games, even from soft games
where the old you were the one who taught me about this, where the only way to get a
darker skin tone is just drag it down to like a negative value.
And then you get like a fucking weird charcoal monster, purple, purple, because they don't
give a shit about the way skin tones work.
Yeah.
It's like, they put work into that.
Those characters actually really fantastic.
And you get an animal buddy and you can switch them up.
Yeah.
Though they don't actually stay out as buddies.
They just kind of possession.
There's kind of spirits.
Yeah.
I'm really between this and third birthday, though, I got to say, like, I'm like, what
is the link between this and third birthday?
Third birthday has liberation.
Uh huh.
Right.
Remember liberation in Parasite Eve one and two?
Yeah.
It was the angel form.
Yeah.
Liberation now makes her glow a bit and do Jill style teleport dashes.
Great.
And that's about it.
Awesome.
And I'm really just like, I have it out for games where you go like, you were you pop
a devil trigger?
Yeah.
And it's just you, but you're glowing now.
Oh, it sucks.
I'm, I'm like, I know I was done with that since Devil May Cry 4.
Yeah.
I now hate it.
Like if your game does that, I now hate that your game does a mode.
Make me look cool.
Please.
Um, this lazy ass drop an omni on the character's chest and call it a day method of super.
Yeah.
Especially when you have to build a big bar up to its total ass fuck off, you know, or
like, it's supposed to be a big triumphant moment for your character.
Yeah.
And if you, and if you, if you're too lazy to do that, then do something where the world
turns black and white or make it creative in some way, but holy shit, man, you know,
what's interesting to me about the, the, the, uh, the only form in this is that it has the
most Ninja Gaiden move in the entire game where you hold the button for your charge
attack and it absorbs the currency to boost it.
Just like it did back in, uh, the Ninja Gaiden games.
Cool.
It's like, listen, this game's hard.
Burn this currency right now to kill these fuckers.
Yeah.
Uh, no, I'm really happy that Neo continues to be a successful thing that exists and we're
looking at like them continuing this and it's full on like just, yeah, it's doing its
own samurai souls, you know, um, also the way that this game series is developed is the
most like forthright and positive and feel good way.
I have almost ever seen a Japanese game developed where they put out an alpha for free to tons
of people.
Shit ton of people are playing this going, Hey guys, here's what we got.
Tell us what you think.
And then the next time they're going to put out a demo or a beta and it will have every
suggestion that was sent to them improved.
And I go, okay, what about this?
Okay.
What about this?
Neo had like three of those.
And then they kept doing it for the entire length of that game's existence.
Yeah.
The whole time, every fucking six months, they'd be like, Hey, so we added a new weapon and
we added a hard difficulty that is a whole new new game plus game and you can change
into a girl now and then you, the blacksmith can all speak girl.
And here's a loot sorting option that didn't exist in the thing where you can sort the
loot.
And here's this.
Oh, here's the expansion.
It comes with this stuff and this new type of stuff as like the whole, like two years,
the crafting menu and items and that entire thing is like the best and simplest and easiest
and most understandable and clear it's ever been.
Like it really, like when you're dealing, like it really just, it feels like you can
quality of life yourself from a six to a nine.
Yeah.
You know, if your game is best as is a six ultimately at the core and you, it feels like
with a couple of features, clean stuff up, make things feel good and, and put some shit
on the back end.
It cannot be overstated how much polish can help a game.
It's wild.
It really is.
But like, yeah, I say you can go from a six to a fucking nine with quality of life.
And you can go from a nine to a six without quality of life.
If you're one of those companies that is too busy doing things your way, which has been
the way forever and you refuse to learn from what others have clearly established as the
way to do it.
So it's, it's funny because the first thing that pops into my mind when you say that is
fighting games and the first thing, this game's great.
Why is the online so terrible?
Why does only the first player get to choose whether or not we rematch or character select?
Why can't I plug in my legacy?
Why don't my character cost a costume save between sessions?
Why doesn't it pause when I, when I, what does it pause when I tap it and not hold it?
Why does the game not pause when I unplug the fucking controller?
Why can't I tap to set my buttons?
But like, why are there no lobbies?
Why are there no, why are there shit lobbies?
Why are there no open rooms where people can meet up, uh, Arch's style and like very create
their own groups?
Why is there no good, uh, latency selection via quick search?
Why is there no story mode?
Why is there no, uh, good, uh, record feature in the training mode?
Why does the training mode not have, uh, some basic details that like would help with people
trying to get better with certain, with these moves?
Why is there no ability to put the, the move list on screen and have it cycle downwards
as you complete every move?
You have the frame data already displaying in a debug menu.
Why not let the player see it?
Why can't you just turn the visual hit boxes on for literally every fighting game ever?
Why not have an instant rematch button at the end of a versus game?
Why not?
Why make you go back to character select every single time?
Now imagine a game that had every feature we just described and a game that had zero
of the features we just described, but they're the same game.
It makes a big fucking difference.
That's like a four to a nine.
Yeah.
Even though the game's great, you remember that horrible period that we are just, just
getting over now of this fighting game's great.
The online's terrible.
So most of its audience will never be able to enjoy it ever.
Yeah.
Right?
Like just period.
I remember persona for arena was the first one that I got to go, look at this, this game's
fucking awesome.
Everyone should play it and the online's great and it blew up.
So there's a feature that I have never seen since metal warriors on the Super Nintendo.
And I understand that it's just for fun.
So it's not something that I'm hard recommend that I'm hard requesting.
But God damn it.
Did I love the ability to do rematch rematch with a different stage scramble?
At the very least, it's quite rare, but there are a couple fighters I've played and I'm
sure you have to, or if you pick random select and you hit rematch, the stage is random,
is random select.
Yeah, it actually randoms though.
And it's like, that is the biggest fucking, if I pick random, I want a fucking random
stage.
Exactly.
I don't want to fucking do the same stage over.
Because then you do the things like rematch, rematch, it's like, we just want to play a
different stage.
It's like a character select.
Yeah.
So that's it.
15 seconds out of your life.
It's not a big deal.
Yeah.
Just rematch, change stage or random stage.
Unless you're playing Tekken 5.
And then scramble is random stage or random characters, which is just, it's a wild button.
But if you're having a super casual time, you can just do that.
Oh crap, I got 12.
You know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It really, and these are all things, these are all good ideas that exist.
They're out there.
The design implementation has been solved on any number of levels.
You can just look at your competitors and look at how they did it.
And anyone who is sitting down and designing a doc or designing, you know, from the first
stages up at this point in time, probably is a fan or at the very least has a bunch
of references to games that have done this before.
And it just doesn't, it just comes down, it comes down to like, why would you not include
all of these possibilities unless you're just like, we have one.
We have one programmer.
We have 12 months.
Yeah.
Skullgirls is a really good example.
And the, for a number of reasons, but the one that I want to bring up, and yes, I know
it is a technical concern.
It is difficult to do.
And even the Skullgirls implementation isn't perfect, but Skullgirls is rotating, always
fighting lobby is the coolest online lobby.
And I have never seen it anywhere else.
And I doubt we'll ever see it again.
Where everybody in the lobby gets to fight.
Yeah.
Well, there should be four matches going on.
Yeah.
You'll wait a couple minutes as other people finish and then they'll rotate around.
But what?
Yeah.
Why should it be seven people, six people watching to just have to have the people in
the room?
You can turn winter stays on if you want, but everyone wants to play.
Yeah.
Yeah.
There you go.
It just, there's just an overwhelming amount and every genre has this stuff.
Right.
Now we pay attention to fighting games.
So we pulled fucking 20 to 30 of those off.
I could go for an hour over MMO ones.
I like, I feel like, I mean, I feel like we just demonstrated like, yeah, you pick a
genre and if you know enough about slash play enough of that genre, what's one of the ones
that's actually really wild that like that I never even thought of.
And then I'm sure a lot of people.
So you know, in an RPG, you sort your items.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So at one point, a couple patches ago added unsort, yeah, because some people keep their
items in really specific grids and you want to put it back and then you sort them and
great.
Oh, fucking shit.
Fantastic.
Okay.
Unsort it.
Go back to how it was.
Yeah.
Now, if you're someone out there that's listening to this and you're either thinking or typing
in the chat, Oh yeah, X game does this.
Oh yeah.
MVC does that.
Or Guilty Gear did.
Yeah.
That's the problem.
Yeah.
They should all do it.
They know that these individual games do it, they should all do it a hundred percent.
You know, quality of fucking life, priceless, man.
Neo is a godsend in that regard, you know, and here's the other thing about it.
When you you know that when you invest in Neo, right by purchasing the video game, purchasing
the video game, Neo, you know that months, if not a year out or two, you are going to
consistently get changes and you're talking about Neo too now.
Yes.
Yeah.
Like, you know that buying into this, no matter will be supported, whatever your experience
is at first, it will continue to improve as you as you play the game.
That used to be the valve model.
How early are we talking?
Half life.
Yeah.
Okay.
There's going to be stuff coming out for half life.
There's going to be stuff coming out for Counter Strike.
There's going to be stuff coming out in a multiplayer context.
Yeah.
All sorts of context.
But now, you know what I like?
Games that you buy as a product, but get treated like a service over time, giving you, yeah,
that's the backwards economic model though, treating it like a service, right?
So service as a game, service as a game, there it is, because like, I mean, it's not
in the news, but I'm going to bring up Anthem.
Do you know it's been over a month since there's been a single developer statement?
Yeah.
From Anthem?
Yeah.
That game is functionally dead.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oops.
Right?
That, that's a game that was sold as a service that the service no longer exists.
That's straight up something to take to the fucking end.
Apparently they're going to talk about Anthem at E3, and all I can think of is a straight
up complete fucking redo, because if they don't, then no one will ever buy this type
of thing from EA ever again.
You have to eat this kind of thing.
Yeah.
Like think of Final Fantasy, if they had never done two point, like A Realm Reborn, if they
had just let FF14 just die the way it was.
If you just take a second to think about language, right?
Yeah, let's just think about language.
An MMO is a service.
That's great.
It is, the MMO was and is the game as a service, therefore.
That game will fucking go away in the future.
So in that sense, like an MMO is effectively service as a service.
Yes.
Which people are fine with because you know what you're getting.
I'm going to pay my $15 a month.
You're giving me a service as a service because I'm requesting it and you're giving it to
me.
Thank you.
Otherwise, I want a game as a game.
Yeah.
So for example, if your MMO goes down, uh-oh, DDoS attacks, here's two free weeks, because
those weeks were fucked up, right?
Okay, great.
Game does that.
You're like, this shit doesn't work.
Okay.
You also want your money back.
A lot of copy of this game, it was 50 bucks and I'm moving to Siberia and I'm living in
a cabin and I'm plugging in my console and I want all my content here.
Good.
Great.
Done.
Game as a game.
Bayonetta.
No.
Right?
Yeah.
So at the very basic level, the thing as the same thing is what you're willing to purchase
because you know what you're getting.
That's right.
The idea of swapping one for the other means you think you're getting this but you're actually
getting that.
Yeah.
And when you say something or when I say something like service as a game, you're like, oh wow,
I thought I was just getting a game.
Turns out there was a persistent improvement experience coming alongside it.
That I'm also not paying for.
Hollow Knight.
Thank you.
Wow.
That's very, no one asked you for this, but thanks, right?
People who didn't back Shovel Knight like just, hey, here's more.
Yeah.
I bought a burger.
Turns out you gave me a trio.
I'll take that.
And you brought it.
You're making me want to go to fucking Wendy so bad, dude.
I'm going to go to that fucking Wendy's after this.
Can't stop you.
And you brought it to my table.
Yeah.
You didn't.
Isn't that weird when a fast food person brings food to your table?
It is.
Some places do it.
I don't like it.
Some places do it to simplify the line system.
I want them to call me up and I'll go get it.
If they take a number, find me.
That's fine.
You know, but, but that's the thing, right?
Ultimately, you expect to get what you have paid for.
Yeah.
And if you swap one for the other and you, and it goes down, why would people accept
that?
There are some games that get to bend the rules.
Warframe bends the rules.
Warframe is weird.
The way that money, it's weird, right?
We're also in this really bizarre state, which I feel like the MMO talk is perfect because
games as a service are in a really weird place, right?
Destiny one is a is a pseudo game as a service, right?
There was never a sub cost, but they, they would make expansions and stuff like that.
But that game's not really supported anymore, right?
Uh, then we had all those MMOs who died.
Did the astronauts call?
That's dead.
Matrix online.
That's dead.
Etc.
Right?
City Arrows, which is apparently very beloved.
They killed Morpheus.
Dead, right?
As dead as you might think, if you look in the right corners of the internet, wooly private
servers or anything.
Uh, and then you get really weird stuff.
Like you, you see how popular while classic is?
You told me how people are going absolutely out of their mind for while classic because
that game doesn't exist anymore, but now it will.
And the weird thing is, is because well, wow is fucking 14 and a half years old.
So MMOs used to have a shelf life and it was like seven years tops.
And then they would die because no one would give a shit anymore, right?
Mm hmm.
Wow.
11 and, uh, runescape, they're still here.
Eleven has no business still being around 11.
By the way, so 11 is done.
It's finished.
Yeah.
I mean, it has a direct replacement.
No, it doesn't.
Oh boy.
They're very different.
Okay.
They're very, very different.
Okay.
All right.
I don't know.
11 is an old style MMO where do you want to walk outside of a town, you have a party
or you will die.
Yeah.
I did have this conversation back in college with somebody arguing that they preferred
this.
And as the player base went down, they invented a system in which you can have AI partners
fill your party up and that game is done now.
Like hit level 99 and everything is there and it's not being, like it's still being
run and bug fixed, but it's new stuff isn't coming out, right?
It's been like that for like three years, four years.
And it still has a respectable sub count.
So it's getting a phone port, you know that, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it's so weird because you sign up for a game like this and you're like, I'm going
to enjoy my time with it and it's just going to go away one day.
And I'm sure Square was like, it will.
And then they're like, people are still paying.
But does it have to?
Because it doesn't really have to.
Well, how much are we spending on servers this?
How much are we getting in from subs this will just keep it up and we don't have to
just keep it up, change your.
So now we're in this thing of like, if you're an MMO and you make it, right, you are free
to play game and you make it like league or, you know, Dota stuff.
As long as you don't kill the game, you're, you can kind of run it forever or a direct
replacement comes out.
If you run it long enough that no one expects more to happen inside of it, then you can,
you're allowed to just let it float.
As long as you don't kill it, right?
Now they're like, wow, had the biggest mountain ever of subs.
It's no, it's never going to happen again for a subscription MMO.
And every expansion since Wrath, which was like 10 years ago has knocked like a couple
million people off that number.
Like it has been bleeding for years and years and years and years.
And now the only thing I ever hear about World of Warcraft is how shitty World of Warcraft
is and how upset people are.
And every couple of weeks there's somebody that I, that I see gone, I, I stayed with
while this whole time and then this last new thing they put it just ruined it for me and
I can't.
But there's always a natural bleed, of course, yeah, but each expansion is apparently just
awful.
Okay.
And people, the sub count bumps up because expansion and it goes boom and it deflates
because people don't like it and it's fascinating.
But yeah, as long as you don't kill it, hell, even if you release like Shadowbringers, right?
And Shadowbringers was the end and there was an ending to the FF 14 like MMO in there.
You could probably just run it like that for like five years, as long as you didn't ruin
it.
It's fucking wild.
All that to say that anyone who bought Neo One got way more than they expected.
Yes, absolutely.
You got a good deal.
And anyone who was on since the Neo Alpha, that was submitting ideas and then actually
getting listened to.
Yeah, isn't that crazy?
You know?
And this is a fucking, like we have these examples of these games where we go, okay,
Neo, Hollow Knight, Skullgirls, yeah, like you there's I'm going to look at the chat
and see if there are others that pop up.
You know what?
You know what?
Because I'll probably I'll even give it give it to the fucking new No Man's Sky.
Right?
Yeah, they did keep working on it.
Give it to them.
They did that, right?
They did do it.
But you have like you're counting on one hand or the gungeon just came up a lot of those
roguelikes.
You're counting single entries in like games that actually went as far as they could to
bring a better experience to the player over time for free.
Dying Light had a lot of stuff added to it.
Yeah.
Monster Hunter is actually a pretty good example.
Kirby Star Allies, they they kept going.
They kept going.
Isn't that nuts?
Isn't that nuts?
Yeah.
Killing Floor.
I am a big fan of Killing Floor.
I never got into the second one, but that shit just endless new shit.
They added to it.
Mm hmm.
It'd be fucking.
Oh, man, I got it.
I should play Killing Floor too.
Splatoon 2.
That's a good one.
Isn't it nice?
And then that makes you way more likely when that sequel comes out to go.
I'm going to have a good time with this for many time and big value.
Big value.
The tail end is long.
Yeah.
Um, and it keeps them from playing other games.
So Neo, we salute you.
Good job, Neo.
Can we take a two minute break?
I'm going to piss myself.
You can do that.
Okay.
So do you want me to go to the bathroom?
Let me just do it here.
You can not do it here.
Okay.
You should go to the bathroom.
I'll be right back in the meantime.
I'll just fill.
I'll just fill for time.
I'll fill by, um, by talking about, um, I don't know.
We can talk about the facial reactions that everyone had.
I haven't watched that two hour Game of Thrones documentary yet.
I haven't, but I know that it came out yesterday and we've been too busy.
But boy, am I excited because I'm seeing thick pictures of Kit Harrington reading about what
happens for the first time and completely breaking down and then like just going through
all.
And I know I read, I read before that about how like, um, various actors like all read
the script.
Sansa read it first.
He didn't, he waited until the table read.
So then he saw it all for the first time there as the actors were doing it.
And then just Emilia Clarke making the most like cringy face of just like, she's not
being cringy.
She's making a face of cringe like, it's that best season ever type of face, but like
even more exaggerated and dialed up and it is wild.
That is such a good fucking reaction.
Poor Varys, right?
Basically throwing the script down in front of him as he says his, his lines and, and
then like leaning back in the chair, visibly distraught, poor fucking Jamie, looking really
unhappy about things.
And of course now a bunch of this, you're talking about a Game of Thrones shurram.
Oh, of course, of course, a bunch of the faces and your things you're seeing are people
who've been playing these characters for over 10 years reacting as you would to the
events in the story as a story, right?
So you can't mischaracterize the whole thing as they are.
This is full on reaction to like the quality because it's also reacting to the journey.
I don't know.
When you look at Emilia Clarke's face and she's like, yes, oh yeah, that's 100%.
But I'm saying they can definitely, you can give benefit of the doubt and they can certainly
take benefit of the doubt when they want to say, I reacted that way because what happened
was so powerful, you know, gonna do that though, none of them are going to do that.
We'll see.
I mean, we've, they've already, there's already been like walk backs at gunpoint, right?
Like fucking loaded gun off camera as they, you know, they kind of come out to say things
like, it's funny, like we got one rebuttal from, I think it was Emilia who said people
who are upset about the turn are, we're not paying attention and basically defended that,
right?
And it's something where you're like, yeah, you know, 100%.
No one's actually, no one who's paying attention here is complaining.
I'll say, you know what some people are, but there's no problem with the decision to make
that happen.
It's a problem with the how you got there.
So I'm, I don't mean to dive too much into it because now we're just skating for time.
But I do have one thing to say.
I remind, you know, I always talk about the Twin Peaks episode and I remind when you were
talking about the, the finale of Game of Thrones about like spending time walking places instead
of resolving things.
Yeah.
Somebody sent me and I'm sure they sent you as well.
Yep.
120 minutes is a super cut.
An hour and 20 minutes is the full running time of the 80 minute episode, 57 and a half
minutes of which is establishing shot or walking shot or transition shot or landscape
shot or just there in a 80 minute episode that is a serious finale of a 10 year long
thing.
They are using more than half of the run time for not story.
I am the last person on this planet that would come out complaining about tone.
Yeah.
Right.
I am very much about taking your time to deliver the right tone.
I think things that like, I'm not impatient.
Yeah.
You know, when you want us, when you want to let a moment linger for powerful effect.
Holy shit, you have things to do, get a move on.
So I think, are you arranging chairs, dude?
I think, I think this is best summed up by a phrase that I just invented in my head,
which is that season's rushed, right?
Like the, the, the, the HBO one and extra season and everybody feels that it's rushed.
Well, if you're going to rush it, then rush it, right?
Yeah.
If you're going to, if you're going to rush to the end, right, then fucking rush and get
there.
Do it.
Yeah.
Pack every single fucking minute with shit popping off and fucking do it.
Right.
Don't make it feel like wasted smash slots on characters.
Don't have like, we're rushing, but we, but we, we, we take it here.
Yeah.
It makes no sense.
We rushed to the scene where they walk slowly.
It was really, really strange.
It was a very strange decision.
Anyway.
Um, yeah, I got to go sit down and get through that, but, but, but yeah, that's where the
real enjoyment is.
I, so reading, reading like sort of some of like the, the actors like re-interviews
after the negative where they come back and sat down and went, Hey, hold on, wait, wait,
hold on.
Hey, hey.
Right.
And it's like, all right.
Yeah.
HBO didn't fucking make a call.
They told you to say some shit.
No, no.
They're saying what they want to.
I'm sure.
I'm certain.
But all, but the things that I've been seeing in terms of the, now hold on, let me, let
me set the record straight, right?
Are all things where it's like, yeah, no, like that was.
That was a good thing decision.
They're doing what they can by focusing on the things they can say that are positive
and true.
Yes.
Right.
Because there are other, like the biggest guffaws are not being addressed.
Of course not.
Never.
Because they remain.
Present.
Don't know.
You know, but it makes it seem as if there's like, I want, I want somebody to walk up to
me and the Clark and be like, Hey, how come you did this fucking thing instead of this
other thing?
And for her to go, I don't remember.
Yeah.
I don't recall.
Yeah.
It really, it's, you know, it, or it's just, it's like, it's like when you rise up to say
like, Hey, now, you know, now, before you, before this gets out of hand, right?
Like when people are like, you'll pass a fucking dirty littering asshole.
Hey, what the fuck?
And I'm like, Hey, now, to be clear, I only do it when people are around to see it.
So because it makes them upset.
So I'm less of a litter bug and more of an asshole or like that's too related.
I'd be like, Hey, there's, he, he owns a cat.
I do own a cat and cats are cute.
They are cute.
So I think everybody needs to just think about that and calm down.
He's throwing, he's dumping out a garbage bin onto the road.
I said what I said, but it's pretty cute.
And then Twitter moments, there's just like, like the actors defend anyway.
Um, yeah.
So that's fun.
Someone had a painting of all the facial reactions.
I saw it.
It's, it's beautiful.
This is legendary.
This is going to go down and I can see that like they, they did their like hostage interviews
back in the, before the negative reaction.
And now they're like, if I was an actor on that, I'd kind of want to try and save it
a little because this is a lot of their legacies, right?
Peter Dinklage is going to be Tyrion to a lot of people forever.
Speaking of hostages, uh, what George R. R. Martin?
Hey, I was pretty happy about this shit.
I was pretty happy about this yet.
Let me tell you last week on this here podcast, the cast of super beast podcast, Patrick
Boivé said, Hey, I think they should lock fucking George in a room until he finishes
those books.
I was met with the relatively reasonable assertion, Pat, that's ridiculous.
He can't just lock people in the rooms and then have them make the art that you want
or the books that you want.
And I said, you know what?
That's fine.
And we had a really interesting conversation about what the author owes the audience.
Yada, yada, yada, fast forward to the next fucking day.
When George R. R. Martin is talking to what is it world con with the fuck is this New
Zealand shit?
Well, who's he talking to?
Some shit and he goes, you know what New Zealand, if I don't get off that plane into
New Zealand in 2020, you have my permission to lock me into a cabin over some fucking
Salt Lake or some shit out in the middle of nowhere, looking at the ocean, isolated until
I finished that book.
You have my written consent to imprison me until I finished that book.
And I went, OK, George, this is a step in the right direction.
Thank you for justifying my completely irrational desire.
He said it himself.
He demanded literally said imprison me.
In fact, he specifically requested that you personally fly over.
You lock the chains around the door, get the whip and stay on the watch and every once
in a while just for good measure.
Yeah.
Just crack it.
Yeah.
There was a there was a reply somewhere to the podcast either on the I think it maybe
was the image that I forget the guy's name, but he makes the worst moment of the of the
podcast he draws it.
Yeah, I believe it's Mr. Shupps.
Yeah.
What was Mr. I believe it's Mr. Shupps.
Mr. Shupps.
He does great work.
You're doing a good job.
And somebody made the comment that I wish I had thought of, which is at a certain point
over time, being reasonable just doesn't seem worth it anymore.
It just you get tired and reasonableness never got you anywhere.
So you know what?
Let's just imprison all the writers until they make the thing we like.
Yeah.
I mean, like fuck them for having the talent to even get into this game and do something
so far and above above what anyone else is, you know, what will anyone recognizes it to
begin with?
You know what?
That's right.
Yeah.
Fuck them.
Yeah.
If you if you're cursed with being talented to stand up and make something that recognizes
recognized above the crowd, then you are now fucking locked in.
You now owe society.
Yep.
Your talent.
If you're a good fighter, you owe society to go fight in that pit for the entertainment
of the masses.
I mean, that's basically how Cuba does it.
Cuba has fight pits.
They have like like the Olympic schools and or like places where if you're as if you as
a kid are basically the most talented, then you go to like a place where you're going
to learn to be an MMA dude and you're competing with everyone else that's an MMA person and
you pretty much like the person who's the best of that class gets big rewards and other
people sometimes donate and you are a fascinating system.
Yeah.
And then you want to know how and why like the best of the best come out of that.
It's because not only are they like fighting for comfort in their life, but not getting
that comfort.
There's a living impoverished.
There's a equivalent to that.
A lot of Asian friends of ours have told us that their parents' pressures on them are
what did you get?
Number one?
No.
Yeah.
How come you didn't get number one?
Yeah.
But I got number two.
Why didn't you get number one?
Yeah.
Oh, you mean you got first loser?
Oh, second place.
Second place.
Yeah.
Great.
Meanwhile, my parents were like, as long as you tried your best, honey, don't you worry.
You can't be the best in everything.
Yeah.
Full on evolve or die situations going on there.
And if you'd like more details about that and you think I'm full of shit, go listen
to the life story of Yoel Romero, a godlike MMA fighter that like fucking just created
by his nation.
So that's and that and like that's what they do.
You go, oh, you're good for this.
This is where you go now.
Oh, your country, a debt to like be the most talented Cuban fighter and he fucking ran
the fuck out of there.
Yeah.
Like the first chance he got.
Now, listen, we can go all big and all that shit and try and broadcast that and make the
point seem ridiculous.
Martin wants to be locked in a room to finish his fucking he's requesting it.
So you know what now, I don't want the book to come out, right?
I want it.
I want fucking him to touch down and for the authorities, like somebody in the New Zealand
government to take it seriously and be like, you told us he's like, no, no, it was a joke.
It was a funny joke for the Internet and they're like, no, no jokes here, George shackles into
the shack with you.
Here's your fucking DOS computer.
Yeah, I hope I hope I hope the manuscript of the book burns down.
Hey, man, the Winds of Winter already has chapters on that he's already previewed it
for people, which shows to me like a knowledge that it's going to be a while.
And that like the desperation of people who think like me is actually getting to him because
releasing book chapters of a book like that is kind of weird.
You know, it's a shame that he wasn't like Mura and like obsessed with something like
World of Warcraft because then whenever people could ask what he's working on, he could just
have been working on while and they can just go like, OK, cool.
He's at it. Yeah, and that'd be it.
I think you're still the worst, honestly, out of this type of thing.
I think you're still the worst.
I want to give a shout out to that that that comic I saw of the God.
What was it?
It was.
Fuck, I'm fucking this up because I barely remember what it was.
But it was like three cartoon things dragging.
I forgot what the thing is.
They're dragging Game of Thrones into the distance.
And like Game of Thrones is being dragged away by lost how I met your mother.
And PSG, maybe.
No, Dexter Dexter.
Yes, Dexter lost and how I met your mother are dragging Game of Thrones into the distance.
And it's like Tom and Jerry, Tom and Jerry.
It's just like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I didn't.
I've never ever been into how I met your mother.
I I've I watched like clips.
I've seen clips of it.
It's super cringe worthy.
Three of those shows.
I had friends that we have mutual friends that aggressively tried to push it into.
And it was like, how do we like the same comedians and comedy?
But you're into this type of fucking bullshit.
And then sitcom.
I don't understand.
How's this funny? All three of them, all three of them.
I we got to that final season and we started to hear like discontent.
Yeah, let's call it.
And then came the endings and they were like,
I wish I never watched this fucking show.
I don't understand how something called how I met your mother
ends up having a shitty ending because it seems really straightforward.
Yeah, in terms of what you got to do with it.
Yeah, I suppose at the point where it gets too popular
and decides not to end, you have a problem.
Yeah, but I don't get how something with that title can get fucked up
because it really seems like you have a solid out.
Any time you need it.
And that's how I met her.
Am I like, it's wild how that is getting raked over the coals over.
I'm like, I want to know how you fuck that up.
I really do. I'm legit curious.
Anyway, man.
Softball of a fucking title.
So the story is is that George R.
Martin, a.k.a. Grim has been talking.
And in addition to that Windsor-Winter story about him going to New Zealand,
there's the all set you how you fuck it up on your phone.
Spoilers about how the ending of.
Wow, this shows garbage.
How I met your mother sucks.
Whoa, that's so stupid.
What a terrible show.
Oh, my God, what is wrong with anyone that likes this thing?
What a piece of shit. Yeah, I know.
That's. Wow.
Wow, that's bad.
That's. Wow.
OK, I didn't.
Well, I didn't know.
It's really bad, huh?
All right. OK.
How about nine seasons?
Eight, nine, 13 a lot.
Anyway, so.
The news is that George R.
Martin talked about how he.
People are dying for it.
No, don't do it. Come on. All right.
I'm walking up to find out.
Yeah, there have been documentaries made on how bad at the ending was.
Really? No. OK.
But there have been while YouTube documentaries. OK.
All right, YouTube documentary on your fucking left, not at this point.
It is the standout.
There's a blog post that George R.
Martin made where he's talking about how busy he was and what he was up to.
Yeah. And I remember reading this in which he said,
I consulted on a game out of Japan.
Was the was the exact phrase?
I remember that. Yes.
So the story goes, George R.
Martin consulted on a game developed in Japan back in March,
a YouTube channel, Spawn Wave, published a video discussing a rumor
spreading about the next project from Dark Souls and Bloodborne developer
from software, which is stated to be an open world title title,
which grim is one of the lead writers with various kingdoms to visit
and an ability to obtain from killing the leaders of those kingdoms.
Supposedly, the name is Great Rune.
A person familiar with the ongoings of from soft has told
Gimatsu that the project said to be known internally as Great Rune
or G.R., you got it?
Get it, you fucks.
I don't know about I.
Well, this is this just refers to G.R.
I don't know about the the other wording.
I've seen the I've seen the name Great Rune floating around.
I don't know where it came from, though. OK.
It's been in development for three years,
and it's supposedly an open world title with horse riding in collaboration
between Miyazaki and George R.R., published by Bandai Namco
to be officially announced at E3 2019.
You know, that'd be dope.
We have not been able to confirm or verify this information,
but we've shared what we've heard in light of his blog.
You know, it'd be great if from software made an open world game
in which one of the kingdoms was the horse dudes.
Dothraki. Yeah. No.
The the both Raku.
Yeah. Sure.
I mean, yeah, you know, what would be a great console
to play this video game on?
What's that? Your Game of Thrones Xbox.
Yeah, I would.
When I branded with the logos and everything as as we.
Saw, laughed and outlasted. No, two weeks.
Two weeks ago. So. Yeah.
Mm. Mm. Game of Souls.
Yeah. Oh, that'd be that.
No, they're not.
It's not going to be named anything like Game of Thrones.
No, I'm no, I'm saying it as in the derivative sense.
I hope they I hope they go back to the naming convention
of having souls in the title.
I actually really like it.
I directly pointed to the fight in the final season
that was a Dark Souls boss fight.
Yeah, it happened.
It was there. Mm hmm.
You know, you do it.
It's kind of nuts to to think that like a studio and a team
and a director inspired by Berserk are now swinging all the way around
into it's really working with someone like George R R Martin.
Now, that being said,
Miyazaki's grandest inspiration for the Souls series
was his childhood reading English fantasy novels
that he couldn't quite understand.
So they left gaps in his understanding
of what the story was actually about,
which is why the Dark Souls series is so vague.
What better writer to team up with
than one whose story has big mother fucking gaps in it
because it's not done.
George R R Martin can write the best gap filled story.
He's been writing one for decades.
A Song of Souls.
There you go.
You did it.
You did it.
I sure did.
We need to get a fucking Berserk game.
I don't care.
Mm hmm.
Just do it.
Just do it.
Say it takes place between the take.
Say it takes place on a boat chapter that we just didn't see.
And that's the whole cast is there.
And he's got the armor and they took a pit stop on an island.
Done. It's done.
OK.
The clear winner is a Song of Souls,
but I got to give it up to the runner up.
Souls of Ice and Fire.
It's not as good, but it's pretty all right.
No, Song of Souls is the winner.
You don't need to keep trying.
Yeah, it was done.
What other news we got?
You know, what else isn't is speaking of not done.
Gah, oh, not even sure what sound effect that was.
Sonic the Hedgehog live action movie
delayed to February 14th, Valentine's Day 2020.
I can only thank the reason that this was actually delayed
is they got back from the VFX team.
And it's like, no matter how hard we crunch,
we are not going to be able to do what you guys want by this time.
But but but the tweet from the director said,
thank you for your support and criticism.
The message is loud and clear.
You aren't happy with the design and it won't and you want change.
It's going to happen.
Everyone at Paramount and Sega fully committed to that.
Taking a little more time to make Sonic just right.
And then you got a picture with the new date and a glove on the hand.
Important to note, glove.
Glove is now on the sonic end.
Glove confirmed and a little asterisk at the bottom,
saying no VFX artists were harmed in the making of this movie.
Yes. So they specifically were saying that no crunch and no Karoshi.
No Karoshi and no Karoshi.
There is a follow up little piece to this story.
So people were looking at the at the glove and the arm.
And they were also looking at the art of a man named Tyson Hesse.
I believe he's an American comic artist.
Who that he is the creator of Diesel from Boom Comics.
Oh, my God. Yeah.
OK, he's the director of Sonic Mania Avengers.
OK, et cetera.
Well, if you went to his Twitter,
you would notice that he retweeted the sonic announcement and people
noticed similarities between the arm on that and prior
sonic movie art, he had drawn himself going, hey, look,
I think it should look like this.
And when people started going, are you fucking working on this now?
He posted this fucking image of Tony Stark at the ending of Iron Man One.
Right before he says, I am Iron Man. Yeah.
So it looks like they brought this bro on as.
Yeah, here's the painting I'm describing of the the sonic movie from a while ago.
Looks like they brought in Tyson as some kind of consultant
or possible visual effects.
What? Oh, what?
Where? Let me see.
I'm looking at looking at his Twitter now.
And look at the photo of Robert Downey, Jr.
Yeah. But where's the where's the sonic related stuff that he?
Oh, that was from a while back, like the art.
And then people started going, hey, are you working on this?
And in comes the I am Iron Man shot from Iron Man One.
I propose nothing.
So he was brought in.
It's save.
It seems like he was brought in to save the visual identity of this movie.
Why? And that and if they're going to lengths of that,
that's top to bottom redesign.
Yeah, they're knocking it.
You can't do that by the time the shit needs to come out.
So we're now in this weird state of like, they're going to save the sonic movie
by making Sonic look like Sonic, but the movie's still going to be fucking awful.
It's still going to be terrible.
Oh, I have a good looking sonic in it.
I mean, that that goes without saying.
Of course, I know.
And it's like, you can't escape fringe with a makeover.
But now I'm like, I kind of wanted to be more cringe.
You're going to get all the cringe you can eat.
It really? Are you sure?
I can eat some cringe.
You see fucking James Marsden.
I did sitting in that chair.
I did just like he did years prior with a similar rabbit movie or whatever the fuck.
It's like, I think it's called it's just locked in.
I see it.
I've seen it.
Well, anyway.
So that is Valentine's Day 2020.
Coming, I know how I'll be spending that Valentine's Day at the sonic movie.
Not even joking.
Yeah. If I if I suggest any other plans, I will get shot down for sure.
Or just shot. Yeah, possibly.
And as we all remember, Pat hates getting shot.
Now, you don't have to wait for Valentine's Day,
however, to get your hands on Lethal League Blaze
because it's coming to the PS4 and the Switch.
Oh, good. That's a good game in September.
And yeah.
I mean, for after we've been we've been kind of
looking at that PC version for a minute.
It's good. Yes.
But finally getting ported for players,
extra characters, all the stuff that basically was in development over time.
Because when we took a look at it, all the characters were not out yet.
Yeah. Yeah.
And this is going to be coming fresh with all of that shit.
And a bunch of what sounds like possibly new things.
Good. Being added to it.
So fuck. Yeah.
Just wanted to push and pump Lethal League Blaze.
Once again, for those who managed to somehow dodge this on Steam,
grab it for consoles because it's rad.
Its styles are awesome.
And of course, Team Reptile and Hideki Naganuma.
Just two fucking stylish.
Two great styles that taste great together.
Doing the thing. Nailed it.
Ain't nothing like a funky beat.
That's it. Music in that game is so fucking good.
Yeah.
I.
You.
Found it kind of interesting, actually.
That so in addition to the so like that's coming to the switch in PS4.
Also coming to switch in PS4.
Dead Cells with a new update after.
What's the date on that?
A big new update from Motion Twin, Rise of the Giant.
Adding 10, you adding 10 new weapons.
This Rise of the Giant.
Yeah, that came out months ago.
Well, I guess this is the console update.
Yeah. No, Rise of the Giant came out a long time ago.
Then I then I kind of, I guess, wasn't paying as close attention
because it mentions a bunch of new weapons and items.
And yeah, no, no such. OK.
Well, it's not that new.
Yeah, when I streamed Dead Cells a couple of months ago,
it was right after the Rise of the Giant update came out.
Gotcha. OK.
Well, I guess good news for console people that are behind them.
Yeah. And the slow zone idiots.
For losers. All right.
Well, search to anybody.
Hopefully.
Closed beta applications open.
Only 50 users will be accepted. What?
Only 50. That's closed.
Will be accepted.
That's closed as fuck. Yeah.
So the search to is happening.
They've been working on it for a while now and they reached the stage
which they'd like to gather some feedback.
So only 50 players.
I don't think that's a good idea.
I did. What if all 50 are dumb assholes?
Well, you can apply and they will choose the only the dumbest assholes.
You know, submit an IQ test.
Yeah. And then they go to the bottom of that list.
That's wild.
I mean, shit, like that's a very easy group of people
to have zero effective testers on.
But I guess that's I guess they I guess, though,
they're looking for just the shit's up.
They're looking for playtesting as opposed to like what boss
does everybody get stuck on? Yeah.
You know, they just want to a really quick sort of playtest experience.
Yeah, kind of nuts.
But I guess they they're saying that that is going to be out
at some point this year. Cool.
So this is still this is dated for 2019.
And how much feedback can they possibly implement?
That's a good question.
Like, oh, focus home interactive.
We don't know.
We don't know. Well, or rather, deck 13 interactive.
You said first one's pretty good for a while, but you never you never beat it.
Right. You get to about halfway through
and the enemy designs change and become very unfun to fight.
Well, what I want to know about it more than anything is what does end games?
I have no idea. Build look like. Absolutely.
You know, like how much look like a transformer, I think.
Do you do you go from like diesel diesel soles,
fucking like broken garage parts to
still broken garage parts, but like a full suit that does crazy shit.
But I'm not certain.
You know, that's that's the only question I have.
Like, what is the full set, the full set look like in this game?
And how much can you do?
Are you ever just whooping out a gun? No. OK.
This fucking blast from the past, remember, Rune.
So I can game. Yeah. OK.
Made on the. I can't believe I do.
I do.
Or was it unreal?
I forget. It was one of those two.
Dude, I remember the box art has a Viking with an ax on it.
And that's pretty much the extent of my memory.
It was really fun. Was it? Yes. OK.
Played a bunch of multiplayer with my brother of fucking Rune
back in the day.
I remember because it was like, oh, it's like a shooter.
It's like it's like everyone was playing first
with the shooters at the time.
And I'm like, I want that, but I want third person in melee.
And that's what Rune was. I'm like, awesome.
You should play chivalry or.
I know. Oh, yeah. I did.
I know chivalry. Yeah.
Chivalry is this fucking shit.
I love it. It was really. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So but at the time I was like, give me this with
where I can see my body and where it's not guns.
And eventually we got Rune.
And they've been working on Rune, Ragnarok.
Really? But now it's called Rune, too. OK.
And this summer, apparently, that shit's coming out. Cool.
From human head.
So what?
Human head still exists. Yeah, I know.
That's up. But that's to kill.
Yeah, I don't I don't know.
I don't know how or why, but it might just be a zombie human head.
It might be. Which would be appropriate.
But either way, it's an epic game and it's an epic game store thing.
Oh, of course. So what are you going to what?
But yeah, this was this was.
OK, here we go.
It was originally
an early access on Steam in September, 2018.
Then it got canceled to secure additional funding,
which came from the Epic Games Store.
And now it's getting released there as Rune, too.
Yeah, Rune was the shit, man, I got to say, like.
This coming back after all this time, like I'm curious to see if it's at all.
What it used to be.
It was it was one of it basically was like
is the kind of stuff that bid for power got me excited for,
you know, like the speed of Quaken Unreal, but just
in in the fucking in an arena setting, you know, and like having, again,
the chivalry style, like different blocks when you get a run up to somebody,
different types of parries, different stand things,
can't black different ways to engage Melee was very fun.
And yeah, I just I didn't know how popular it was.
Slash, I didn't know if anyone else really cared about it, though.
I feel like my brother and I kind of just bent them some time with it,
but we didn't really up until this moment.
I had never known a single person who had played it. OK.
I'm then I'm surprised you even know what I'm talking about, to be honest.
I saw the box on a shelf once.
Dude, I've talked about die by the sword.
Like, you should know what kind of PC games I was looking for.
But just by putting the two and two together there, you know.
And and that other dragon game with the with the Red Head Girl, I forget.
But anyway, rune to.
I guess we're out of news that anyone gives a shit about.
All right, then letters.
Hey, if you want to send a letter first of all, type it into an email,
then send it to Castle Superbeast Mail at Gmail dot com.
That's Castle Superbeast Mail at Gmail dot com.
And your letter may be read on the air
and answered either seriously or sarcastically.
No promises, no promises to any of that shit.
We'll take our first one to talk about
something that could have been a new story, but might as well be an email.
Fuck it.
What do we got?
Hitboxes and the FGC.
OK, you heard a little bit about this.
I hear some things, but I want to be clear before I say anything.
I mean, the short of it is Daigo has been practicing on a hitbox.
Right.
And he's been practicing on a Gaffer box.
I'm not familiar with that.
So it's a different product, OK, and it has a different
it's like it's got a different PCB inside of it.
Sure. And it handles handles things
that the button placement and size a little bit differently.
All right.
So.
Great. We got this coming in from some guy in North Carolina
says, greetings, Superbeast cast.
Had some thoughts about the FGC related happenings.
And I just wanted to write in and share a perspective
from someone who's loved fighting games over a decade, but always struggled to get good.
I bought an MVC three mad cat stick on release
and have tried various other sticks since none worked out due to my wrist being terrible.
However, a year or two ago, I found something that finally worked for me, a hitbox.
Once I started thinking of it like a keyboard and a space with a space bar for movement,
it immediately clicked.
Practicing now had visible results and I even started to enjoy it.
I challenged myself to do 100 Tiger knee Yozan sends
a day and managed to clear all of Bikin's combo missions, except for number 10.
Lately, I've been thinking about how to track down my local FGC scene
and getting more involved.
However, the controversy around Combo Breaker and Capcom banning Digo's custom hitbox.
There have been a lot of hate surfacing towards hitboxes in general.
And now going to my local scene with a quote unquote cheat box kicks my anxiety into overdrive
and has left me pretty discouraged.
What are your thoughts on hitboxes?
Do you have any general advice for new faces looking to get involved in a local scene?
So I didn't know that Capcom banned Digo's box from Combo Breaker.
They made a ruling where they basically decided that.
Yeah, he is his that the gaffer box gaffer box was banned.
Is it that type or is it that it's custom?
So the thing is that from what I understand, right?
A gaffer box is like, I mean, at the end of the day, hitbox,
like it's there's a company selling it to you, right?
But it still is pretty much something that a group of people are kind of putting together.
And, you know, the offering.
The gaffer box, the main difference, and this is a very it gets pretty complicated
in terms of inputs, the main thing we've always been concerned about.
And I remember we were yelling about this a while ago was like some of the earlier ones
you could hold two directions at the same time.
Hitbox would always deny that would always make sure that was impossible.
Yeah, right.
And you could you could fuck with it and that the game would never actually
detect or react to like holding left and right simultaneously in this way.
The way the gaffer box works is it's not actually inputting
both directions simultaneously into the game.
It overrides the last input with the with the second to last input
with the last input.
Oh, sure. That makes sense.
So if you're holding the back button and then you press forward,
it's you start. You're not exactly.
And the moment you let go of forward, you reverse the back.
OK, right.
That would be really good for charge characters.
Yeah, it does. It's really good for Gile, for example, really, really good.
Who Diago uses.
So all this to say that that's effectively the difference,
whereas a hitbox, when you press left and right at the same time,
it creates it just goes neutral.
The other difference between the two is the hitbox uses 30 millimeter buttons.
Yeah. And the gaffer box uses sorry, other way around.
Gaffer box uses 30 millimeters and the hitbox uses 24s.
Except for the diameter.
Yeah, it's the two it's the two button sizes, basically.
So but, you know, for the most part, these these exist.
And I would want it to direct like there's there's the news story
and then there's this guy's letter.
So to you, sir, I feel that you should not feel discouraged by that at all.
Absolutely not.
You should take your hitbox and bring it out and do whatever.
And I mean, unless someone actually unless a to comes up to you
and is shitty and tells you you can't use that here,
which I severely, strongly doubt you're going to see that happen.
Just participate and play with it.
And don't worry about that because this recent sort of thing
talked to everyone's talking about like that has nothing to do with the fact
that hitboxes are have existed for years now
and are acceptable peripherals that people use.
I have friends that literally use them
because their wrists were taking damage.
Yes. And they had to switch to a hitbox
because an arcade stick was no longer viable.
Smashbox got created.
It was a buffer over those getting banned.
We had Pedro on our on our show.
He for getting to fighting games.
He had to switch to a hitbox after a while because he had wrist pain.
And a lot of people use it as an alternative,
not just because of like button preference,
but because it's also like a wrist thing.
Now, there is one thing.
There's nothing wrong with taking your hitbox out to your locals
and you should not feel bad or have anyone make you feel bad for doing that.
This one, though, the Gaffo Gaffo Gaffo box, Gaffo.
The way that you describe those inputs
does sound like a genuine advantage.
Now, I the thing is, is I honestly don't have enough full of like enough info
of the specifics of exactly how.
Well, what I mean, but that's what I read in the short Japanese translation.
Some of it, like the whole idea behind regulation, anything in a sport
or competition is that nobody has an undue advantage over somebody else.
Right. Hitbox was kind of murky,
but everyone kind of wants the hitbox, the company itself made sure
that the boxes were legit. Everyone kind of settled.
But you can make your own custom stick.
Right. But the the the the input type that you're describing
sounds like it's a way to ignore the time period
that you would otherwise have to move a finger or a hand or whatever.
Yeah. To make something instantaneous.
Like actually instant.
Yeah. And it makes pianoing.
It makes pianoing pretty good, too, as well.
That seems like a genuine advantage.
And if that is the case, I can absolutely understand banning that specific type.
Mixed boxes exist as well.
That's the one I have over there with the keyboard on it.
Yeah, that's that's for crazy.
But some people actually like and want that type of thing. Right. Oh, that reminds me.
There was a Final Fantasy 14 keyboard thing
that got announced that you might actually want.
Yeah, I saw it.
See, I have a lot of people.
Every time any type of hand peripheral comes out, everyone sends it to me and says,
this is you. Yeah. No, it's not.
OK.
Um, there's an underlying part of every time I talk about my my configuration.
That's right. That gets lost, right?
And it's the part where I'm showing you the completed final working product.
Yeah. Right.
You're you're we're not seeing the the the dozen.
I'm not asking you for help.
I'm not asking for your suggestions.
I don't need to see the Hori half and half
that actually does the opposite effect of putting the mouse over here
and putting the hand control like literally.
I'm showing you the thing that I have that works, but everyone's like, no,
but here's it. No, no, no, I'm good.
So when I put the little thing that says, please don't send me the other peripherals,
I know they exist. I'm not interested.
Here's the problem.
Yes, you're not good.
OK.
It's upsetting to watch you use that abomination.
I am sorted out.
Now, as somebody who has learned to live with it, sorted, I will tell you,
it is straight up upsetting to look at.
Sorted. I don't like it.
Proper, proper sorted.
And when the UI start go nuts, it's very upsetting.
Done.
Set it.
The UI doesn't go nuts.
They fix those game lets you lock it in one or the other.
Good. That's good.
They should all do that on sorted.
Now, that being said, I, yeah, I feel like this is one of those situations where
it calls for a specific type of ruling.
And what we need here is what we have here is a giant gray area.
It's all very gray because anyone can make their own stick.
I've made my own stick and brought it to competitions.
I literally like you could have done all sorts of bullshit inside there.
Well, it's, it's like turning the joystick inputs into buttons is the easiest thing in the world.
It's as simple as like taking the wire from the stick and plugging it into the button.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Like it's just like it activates the same thing on your, on your PCB.
So like, uh, ultimately, when you want to make a ruling on this, I guess,
you just, you have to get into the nitty gritty that you were originally ignoring
and make a call on what types of functionality are banned, if any, or because you can't ban
layout.
You can't ban button size.
Fuck that.
You can't ban, you know what I mean?
Like things like that.
You have to ban functionality.
You have to ban functionality.
What comes built into this thing?
Like, hey, this thing has turbo on and you have it on.
Turn it the fuck off.
Yes.
At the same time, what, but like, what if the stick had like two buttons for like forward
so that you can just roll off with them to do a dash?
That's weird actually.
Repetition buttons.
What if there's a macro button, but it's not a macro.
It's the same input.
What if there is?
Yeah.
Right.
So that's what I'm saying is you need to make a ruling on what specifics are okay and
not okay.
Yeah.
Especially in a thing where historically people have made their own controllers entirely.
And I would make my own hit box.
Like I could, again, it's really easy to do.
This is super, super.
It needs to be laid down.
Unsorted.
So the people who are showing up to play for money need to know whether or not they're
able to use their controlled method of traveling to places and so on.
Right.
Right.
Alternatively, if you do, if you want to make it strict, provide equipment at the thing
and if people complain, tell them to get fucked.
But I think the important part of this, because Daigo has done some streams, there's a couple
that went big were him talking about, he's like, I can dream again because he's doing
things that he didn't pick up with Gile.
And then there's another one where him and Fudor are just discussing Capcom talking about
it.
And at the end of the day, you just like, it's not black and white.
And if you are saying it's black and white, like, I think you're either, hey, listen,
I think you're missing a lot of information on the nature of how sticks function.
I think you're possibly just riding the wave of your feelings, which is fun, but not actually
going to be something you can write rules based on.
Listen, I'm the kind of guy who sees many issues in black and white, or maybe I shouldn't.
This is complicated and weird and has a nitty gritty that most people don't even think or
know about or care about.
But at some level, the technical specifications of a button input are important.
If we're talking about, you know, cash prizes, something I want to add is it's only tangential.
We talked last week about Psygames and the fucking Grand Blue shit, how much money could
they possibly kick in.
People will link me to like a giveaway they had over the summer.
Crazy money.
Million yen a day for Grand Blue for random people.
Yeah, exactly.
All sorts of, like, fucking shit.
Psygames was rolling in.
And apparently for, I think, League or Dota, there was a prize pool that hit like a million
and like it changed the scene overnight.
Just because I don't want to let it slide without, without at least pointing something
out, the whole thing about the inputs that I mentioned were like reverts back to one.
Certain controllers have advantages with certain types of inputs, no matter what.
This has always been the case.
Hey, I play, I play, I like to play charge characters.
I'm going to use a fucking square gate.
Certainly.
Right.
A tradition.
Actually, funny enough.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
A square game.
I want to put that fucking stick and down back and let it live there.
If your game requires middles or neutrals, however, you're going to have a little bit of a hard
time.
Yeah.
Now, or a hard dirt time.
Not if you practice enough.
So hit boxes, nor like traditional hit boxes make three sixties easier.
They like, they, they do, there is less like wrist movement required.
There's less overall input required.
You just roll off of it and it works, right?
A thumbstick on a PS4 controller will do a three sixties easier than or 720 easier than
you would with a traditional JLF.
It's trivial.
So like different inputs, having advantages and disadvantages is common.
It's normal.
Right.
You can't guys has that controller that some, some student team built for him.
It looks like shit, but apparently he likes it quite a bit and a pad player can't piano.
Or if they do, they do it.
It's awkward.
It's weird.
If they do, they're doing it in a less efficient way than just the actual role.
So, so the idea of the left, right thing that we brought up earlier sounding like it
sounds to you, it's like, yeah, but there's other examples of that.
Oh, totally.
You know, but they all have to be taken into account.
Yep.
And if some things were decided are okay in the past, you have to compare them to the
things that you want to say are or aren't okay now.
Yeah.
And it's really complicated.
And I hope that Capcom and other developers have somebody sit the fuck down and actually
really go through this and they won't.
I'm going to create a pretzel stick that makes it really easy to do pretzel motions and not
impossible to do anything else.
Hey, what did you make?
What do you make a stick out of a pizza box, but the pizza's still in it?
Oh, is that that and oh fuck.
You got a tasty treat between rounds?
Yeah.
Insulate that shit.
Is that coaching?
You got room to open it up because you can open up your sticks now.
It's not hard.
Yeah.
You just got to make a little extra room.
It's doable.
Easily.
Easily doable.
For sure.
It's a good shit.
Pizza advantage.
Hell yeah.
Nah, man.
This is a weird one.
This is a weird one.
And yeah.
It's really complicated.
It is.
And you know, I hope that they take everything into account when making a ruling on this
because I would absolutely hate to see some sort of stupid, short-sighted ruling where
it's kind of like anything that is not made by this tier of company is banned.
Yeah.
Anything that doesn't have a Capcom logo on it.
You know what I mean?
Or whatever.
Like peripherals.
Like your peripheral.
Because just like the entirety of Hitbox is now a known name because they started as
a random group of people putting together the thing they wanted.
And then it became a company that started selling it after that.
But like getting shut down if you're not Hori, Capcom, or Madcats off the bat is like.
Or Canva or whatever.
Yeah.
You can't or you know, you can't fucking make rules officially on that.
That would suck.
You can do what you want.
You can add specs that things need to confer to.
But if you said no hitboxes, well, good job.
You just killed that company for nothing.
And I'm sure I'm sure there's rulings on what type of mouse and keyboard are allowed
in.
Yeah, probably.
You know, FPS and RTS competitions.
I think for RTS ones, you just show up and your shit's there and it's standard, depending
on like, you know, if it's Starcraft and whatnot, but like, I don't know how much, how much
macroing are you allowed to keyboard?
You know, probably none.
That's why their APMs are so high, right?
Yeah, I suppose so.
Because like advanced, like, like, like keyboard macro buttons are like full gesture.
Oh, yeah, they're full gesture to do the 360 so I can snipe them.
Hmm.
CS go allows zero macros.
Okay.
There you get caught doing a macro.
And you got a Mac go.
I fucked that up.
That's terrible.
If you get next email, come on, if you got caught doing a macro, then you're going to
go back row.
That's better, but it's still pretty bad.
James says, dare castle super least, oh man, with E3 going closer.
Who even gives a shit?
I made a quick quiz you might like for the five questions of past E3 moments and the
answers are at the bottom.
So we can try to I can do this.
What game was set to have battles that actually happened in Japanese history?
G2.
All right.
There were options.
It's a multi choice.
But yeah, that's correct.
What did Bill Tritton ask when skyward sword controls were messed up?
Was it a that someone changed the batteries be that someone moved the sensor bar or C
is someone out there using wireless wireless?
I'm going to say C as well.
Was the wireless?
We'll find that after.
What console do people boo?
Did people boo when Sony said, and the provider will be Verizon I meaning AT&T?
Okay.
That's a, yeah, the only time it ever happened.
How many troops were said to show up in 99 nights to one Mirion?
That's that's C.
That's correct.
Okay.
That's for one, by the way.
Okay.
All right.
So I got mine in earlier.
You got yours in now.
Yeah.
Even.
No, that is literally what he said.
Yes, it is.
That's correct.
He repeats it over and over.
And lastly, what word was Todd Howard praised for saying it last year's conference?
Was it ass?
Was it fuck or shit?
I think it was fuck.
I think it's I think it's fuck.
Yeah.
I think so.
All right.
Well, the answers were B, Genji to shocker, C is someone out there using wireless.
There it is.
A Vita C one Mirion and is it written one Mirion?
No.
It's a number.
Okay.
And B fuck.
Yeah.
Perfect.
I've watched a lot of E3 coverage.
Here's a bonus one for you.
What?
You know what?
That's too vague.
I was just going to ask, like, what famous actor went to the Ubisoft show sloshed only
to realize that has happened like three or four times.
I mean, Jamie Kennedy was the one that did it really bad.
And then later it was the guy, the community guy.
I mean, Aisha Tyler was around when she sloshed, though, or she just Aisha Tyler, she might
as well have been.
Yeah.
And I just want to bring up Joel McHale.
Joel McHale.
That's who I'm talking about.
That's him.
Yeah.
Hey, do you remember the name of the guy who went like this?
Do do do do do do do.
Do you remember that?
On the transitions?
Mr. Mr. It was Mr. something.
Mr. Showtime Mr.
I forget it was Mr.
Caffe.
Mr. Caffe, Mr. Caffe, you notice that all the really embarrassing ones are almost all
Ubisoft almost.
And then there's the Konami one, the greatest of all.
But then there's just the, but then there's the, the like, like hardware manufacturer
ones that are all just like people just barfing gross words out.
So do you know what show I'm actually looking forward to the most this year?
Because it's going to be a mess.
The PC gaming show.
Probably sponsored by Epic as opposed to Devolver or it's going to be a mess.
How old is Mr. Caffe now?
What year was that?
That's five years ago.
No.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Mr. Caffe E3.
What the fuck were they thinking?
2011, dude.
Oh.
Okay.
That was bad.
Some listeners were six years old.
Damn.
When Mr. Caffeine was a thing.
Go check that shit out.
Go look up Mr. Caffeine on YouTube.
It's fucking nuts.
It's fucking nuts that that happened.
I was on, on, on the, on my stream, I was talking about how I remember when YTV had a commercial
or had a run for like naming the Toronto Raptors because I remember when they had a special
or it was like.
Oh my God.
I do remember that.
Call in to vote on which name you want this thing to be and there's all these like dinosaur
names and like Scorpions was like one of the others I think and then afterwards like
Steph and my friend fucking just came over and we're just like, oh my God, you fucking
ancient dinosaur of a human being.
You remember the Raptors being named and I'm like, it was the mid 90s.
What's the fuck?
20 years old.
Yeah.
It was like, there was totally the mid 90s, but it was just one of those moments of like
saying you were around at the, at the beginning of a sports franchise sounds crazy old compared
to anything else.
Yeah.
Because they are, they're all from like the city having a fucking baseball team.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Uh, correction.
Oz.
One take books do exist.
Dear Woolly, Pat said there was no person with a manuscript or a story in their head.
Stories cannot be written in one take.
I call bullshit to that as Harlan Ellison proves it can be done.
Please read the background section of this link.
This better not be.
I have no mouth and Ellison showed the first six pages of I have no mouth and I'm a scream
to Frederick poll who paid him in advance to finish it.
He finished us writing the story in a single night in 1966 without making any changes from
the first draft.
So this guy sent this or probably this guy sent this into me on my stream last Tuesday
to which I replied, you're aware that I have no mouth and I'm a screen is a 13 page short
story totaling less than 10,000 words.
Saying that if I had the talent, like I will eat you went to say Jeff, you bang 13 pages
out an hour.
Yeah.
Full of shit.
I also read the book in about an hour.
Yeah.
It's not even a book.
Well, the story.
Right.
It's like whatever.
Now, if you want to fucking hit me, apparently Kubla Khan is like Khan is an entire novel
written after a single dream.
Okay.
So everyone because a bunch of these came in and unfinished because the guy got interrupted
while writing.
Yep.
That was the dream.
So they all reached you that totally.
Okay.
But like everyone went, well, I have no mouth and I'm a scream was written in a day.
So yeah, it only took like a couple hours to write.
It's super short.
It's super short.
That bugs me because that's people who didn't read it.
Right.
Telling me who did read it.
How long it is like you fell from my trap.
All masses.
Non-urgent message from Ed.
Hey, Ed, what up, man?
It's non-urgent.
Dirtuary and fuckface.
Yo, what's up?
Whatever you do.
Don't get into the fate series.
Hold on.
We already have enough filthy secondaries shitting up the place and rather my favorite
two canucks weren't among them, especially after that now toe and kanji fiasco.
Love.
Ed.
P.S.
Wesker doesn't teleport.
He just runs fast.
Well, I guess I got to get in the fate now.
Ed.
Congratulations.
Gate successfully kept.
You've held the moat and you filled it with boiling lava.
You've lowered and then you've you've pulled up the drawbridge and locked down the gate.
The biggest thing.
No one will ever get in.
The biggest thing.
Good job.
The biggest thing to get into fate is the people that tell me to get into fate.
They seem like awful bad people.
No, the biggest thing from getting from you.
Yes, you.
The biggest thing from getting from me getting into fate is that I've been through Tsukihime.
I don't know what that is.
That's the thing they made before.
Okay.
So I'm just, I had my fill.
I know what the vibe is and to those of you thinking when I said yes, you that I was talking
about that other person and not you.
Fate fan.
No, it was you.
You specifically.
And if you're saying, oh, woolly, do you mean multi blood?
The fighting game?
No.
No, no, no.
Tsukihime, as in the original story, multi blood was based on.
So, you know, cheers.
Let's take a last one from whatever 1000th random random asshole, juice, Joseph.
Okay.
See, sometimes I see the, I see the name of the person emailing from their account.
And then you try and figure out what the name you actually want to call them is.
Because the name they sometimes want to use is not the name that their account gives.
So I don't want to be rude to somebody who's hiding their identity.
Yeah, you want to say Joe Jam Jams is not Joey Bobloy.
Until you read it.
And then it's some nonsense like this one was, but let's, let's read this nonsense.
Okay.
Dear walking cardiologist nightmares, got it.
I imagine woolly might have done this on his own already, but first here's on the slim
chance you didn't.
Here's the X act and max act sound effects for you to use.
Oh, cool.
I've been using them as my text messages, mainly X act, because it's not realistic
for me to hear at max act multiple times.
That's pretty good.
Anyways, maybe in return, I can get you to read some stuff in Spanish badly.
No, I won't give you the translations.
I'll just let other people tell you what they said.
I'm not doing that.
Not doing it.
I promise no dead memes on woolly's part.
No, no, not fuck that.
Read things out.
You don't understand.
What could go wrong?
I think we have enough of an understanding of Latin to know Latin based languages on
the news, buddy.
Okay.
Well, my section says...
No giving up midways because it's too hard and we don't speak the language and it sounds
bad.
Anyway, that's why it's entertaining for us native speakers.
Be a good sport and do it with farts from juice.
Joseph.
Sorry, juice.
Not going to do it.
All right.
Well, with that, we should wrap it up because apparently my balls are too heavy and big
for this podcast to continue.
Your section was there and at a glance.
Whatever, man.
You can have your heated Spanish gamer moment.
Okay.
Highlight reels.
Fuck.
Damn.
Like front page of the newspaper in various countries the next day.
Man, Declare's war on.
He said what?
Yeah.
I was going out for tacos later, too.
What?
Tacos?
I say taco.
Taco.
Is it taco?
It is.
I talk.
I thought it was taco.
T-A-W-C-O.
Yeah.
Should I be saying taco?
Yeah, taco.
Because I've always said that.
Having said that, I should not.
Taco.
I should not joke on someone's pronunciation considering the fucking word cell that comes
out of my face.
I have a friend named Paco.
We call him Paco.
You know, so I think taco.
Paco.
You going out with Paco to get some tacos?
I don't say Paco, so I wouldn't necessarily say taco.
I don't know.
What about Thaco?
Thaco.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I don't say taco.
But Min corrected me on it as well yesterday when he's like, why'd you say taco?
I was like, because it's T-A-C-O.
Taco.
No?
I don't know.
I have been a prolific language-based asshole forever.
Crazy taco.
Where I get so mad when words don't follow what I interpret to be the correct pronunciation.
Yeah.
But we're also Canadian.
So like in France.
Like J in Spanish being like a ya, right?
Yeah.
Or a ha.
Yeah.
Right?
Makes me nuts.
Cause I'm like, just put H there.
Just know how to spell.
Yeah.
And then people are like, you're an idiot.
I'm like, okay, maybe.
But it makes me feel dumb cause you, you, this is how self centered it is in my mind.
Why'd you mix the letters around to make me look stupid when I said it?
Yeah.
Right.
Right.
Um, God, was anyone in the stream around when, uh, yesterday when Min mispronounced the
word?
Because he mispronounced a really obvious word.
And like, it's funny cause I talked about how I'm like, I'm playing like all these games
with people with huge French accents.
It cracks me the fuck up that everyone on your fucking channel has this super thick
accent.
So everyone who expect, who like gives us shit about our English, like occasional missteps
man, I show you Mr. Volta base.
Yeah.
Like, yeah.
And pour the fucking molasses and try to listen to, you know, but, um, there was a word
he said, uh, that like, I was like, why would you say it that way?
And like it made perfect sense in the, where it was like, it was the, it was one of those
exceptions where, um, oh yeah, margarine.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah, of course.
Right.
And I was like, Min, why the fuck would you say margarine?
Then the real answer is why the fuck would we say margarine?
And he's like, wait, why is it margarine?
I'm like, because that's how it's always been said.
It's the soft G. He's like, why is it not a hard G?
And I'm like, I don't know.
And he's like, why is English is stupid.
That's why.
Because I'm like, he's like, and he's like, name me one other word in English where G follows
and a G, uh, a follows a G where it's, uh, not a hard G and I can't think of fucking
one.
There is.
There is it.
I don't think, I think, I literally don't think there's a single letter as a single word
where you use a G followed by an A and it's a soft G except for margarine.
English is like the almost defact, uh, de facto Langua Franca now of the world.
It becomes the second language that most people learn, but there's something about English
that everyone needs to know.
Yeah.
It's fucking stupid.
Yeah.
And it's phonetics are total garbage.
There is no link between how things are spelled in English and how they're actually pronounced.
It's really weird.
And then we started getting into the difficulties of like, yeah, but at least we don't have gendered
tables and chairs.
Fair enough.
So that should get really dumb.
That shit is super weird and confusing.
Yeah.
Um, it's, it's a, it's a pie product of English absorbing a dozen other languages into itself.
Chat bless your heart.
I understand that it's hard to listen sometimes, but I said a G and then an A after the G not
before and lasagna doesn't count because that's an Italian word.
Yeah.
I'm not going to count that.
It's not even a, and that is a hard G.
It's not lasanga.
It's like the G is silent.
It's a soft G. It's yeah, which is, oh, it's actually, it is.
It's not a, you're right.
It's a silent G. Yeah.
It's not a soft G N, which is, you know, yeah, yeah, there you go.
Take that.
All G, all G, all G, all G, all G, oh, that's real.
All G's right.
That's right.
That's right.
Hey, you know what?
Stupid words.
Yeah.
We should all just talk telepathically.
All gate.
That's what it looks like anyway.
Got him.
You did.
There you go.
That's true.
It's true.
Oh, shit.
Um, yeah.
All right.
Well, anyway, I think, did you just say magnets motherfucker?
Yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
Like, yeah, there's no rhyme or reason to most of English.
You just got to kind of learn it by here, which sucks.
And, um, God, like fucking help anyone out there who has a becherel and knows what it's
for, because if you think other languages don't fucking have becherel, it's, it's wild
that like, like these, these poor fucking saps don't even understand what it means to
have to turn to a passe-composé page and learn the differences between that and imperative.
Listen gang.
It pass par fait.
You got your, you got your, in your French class, you got your French dictionary.
Of course.
Got your English French dictionary.
Of course.
This is pretty standard for any language, right?
Sure.
But then you have your becherel.
The becherel is the verb book only for verbs.
Why?
Cause verbs in French are fucking bullshit.
What is it?
16 fucking tenses.
Do you have a fucking becherel around here?
Are you going to get a becherel?
I believe.
I believe.
Show me this becherel.
I believe I have one.
Oh my goodness.
This podcast is going crazy.
We're here in the academic.
I'm going to give it one look.
Spanish has it?
Nah, it doesn't count.
It's not a becherel.
No, I have a mini-a-hole bag though.
Oh, okay.
That's fine.
Remember the mini-a-hole bag?
I don't.
I don't think I had one.
Wally, your dreads are getting into my cans.
It's okay.
It's okay.
That's your house.
Yeah.
I got a mini-a-hole bag.
This is not quite the becherel, unfortunately.
However, it is la langue française et non propre.
And it's got, yeah, it's basically a proper noun dictionary because you can't just have
a normal dictionary.
No.
You have to have a separate dictionary just for proper nouns.
And the becherel is just for conjugation.
And that's literally it.
It's a dictionary for conjugation of tenses.
Yeah.
And so a person like me, who's the primarily English speaker, I use pas de composite et
un parfait.
And yeah, I know the other ones I'm using are wrong, but I don't care.
I'm just going to bullshit it.
Pas de parfait.
Imperatif.
Shut up.
Shut up with the plouc de parfait.
Shit.
I don't want to hear about it.
I hate that.
I hate that.
I don't even know what it meant.
More than perfect.
You know, you have the past, you have the perfect past.
Perfect tense.
The more than perfect past.
Future.
Right.
And then you have the imperfect.
Imperfect.
And then more than perfect.
Yeah.
It's like these verb tenses sound like video game subtitles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Future imperfect.
That's totally fucking video game.
Subjonctif.
Oh, get out of here.
Holy fuck, dude.
Yeah.
Perfect cell.
Exactly.
More than perfect cell.
This, like you have to understand that you guys have it easy with English.
It has a lot of dumb moments and a lot of inconsistent things.
And anytime a teacher tells you I before E except after C, you tell that teacher to
go fuck themselves.
That is a bullshit.
But like learning French is the real fucking struggle.
How do I know this?
Because everybody that I know who's French language native speaks way better English
than I do speak French.
There you go.
Conditionale simple.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then you take something as simple as a, as a je suis tu as il est long, I knew
some is whatever, you know.
You're six pronouns.
Yeah.
And then you just start throwing in all these other versions and you modify them and they
modify and they modify, but then they just completely morph and throw out all the rules.
And now you have to say every sentence as if it was one long word, which is my, which
is the problem page has listening to people or she knows a little bit of French, but she
knows them as words in a sentence, not like the one word fucking bullshit.
What gender is that chair?
Starshize.
So it would be a little chair or Lachaze.
Lachaze.
Who decided that?
Some bitch.
Like what?
Yeah.
Shares are girls and tits are men.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
That's true.
Yet somehow, uh, German has a neutral as well.
Yeah.
To complicate things further.
Really?
Yes.
The three.
German has three.
Yeah.
Uh, just before we wrap it up.
I just like to look down and go, they're doing it again.
It's ours.
It's literally surrounding us every day of our lives in the French majority, uh, city
and, and province.
Yeah.
It's a fascinating little island of English out here.
Let's close out on some breaking news, breaking news.
Good old games has removed all telltale games.
That's gone.
Yeah.
What's up with that?
Telltale's pulling stock.
They're making the deal with the epic shit and they're pulling it from everywhere else.
Is epic actually just pulling in?
No.
Telltale is, is pulling it as a result of the deal.
Shit's already gone from steam.
You know, it's actually much more interesting breaking news.
Did you see, did we talk about good old galaxy, good old games, galaxy two ever?
No.
You know what galaxy two is?
No.
It's an Uber launcher for all of your platforms.
Whoa.
How does that light work from a licensing?
It doesn't.
You import your shit as apps and it will categorize them and update them as it would.
And it just takes over?
It should.
Yeah.
Are they allowed?
Yes.
There's all those already exist in numerous forms.
Okay.
But the good old games are going to give it a shot.
So hopefully they do a good shot because that would be very nice.
That would be amazing.
And that's smart because that gets everybody on the galaxy store.
We're good old game sells thing.
And now I can get the galaxy.
Oh, wow.
That's smart.
Really smart.
That's really smart.
So Telltale's games are just dropping off of stores.
Yeah.
You want to buy them?
Go buy them on the fucking epic store or physically.
Yikes.
It can't stop physical.
Oh, fuck.
Okay.
So actually I need to go buy, come to think of it.
I probably need to go buy Guardians.
I didn't buy that one.
You're fine.
I might take.
I want to take a look.
I want to know.
I want to know.
All right.
Yeah.
Let's let's call it there.
Okay.
Let's call it there.
Goodbye.
Check out Willie.
Willie versus check out me.
Okay.
Bye everybody.
See you.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.