Castle Super Beast - CSB 058: Syrinjizz: Writers Are Just Failed Artists
Episode Date: March 3, 2020Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps PEAK KAMIYA, Vanquish, Boardgames, The High Republic, Valorant. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro...: Meta Knight's Revenge Go to http://bombas.com/superbeast today and get 20% of your first purchase! Riot Games' Project A is called Valorant Final Fantasy 7 Remake demo out now Platinum Games Project G.G. teaser trailer, director message The director of the original Resident Evil 2 asked the remake director for 'cute zombies DLC' Death Stranding for PC launches June 2, includes Half-Life content Nioh 2 ‘Last Chance Trial’ demo set for February 28 to March 1 'Monster Hunter' Movie Poster Warframe's Lotus joins Super Smash Bros. Ultimate as a spirit Star Wars' big new story era announced, without attached video game
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BGM
BGM
Hello.
Oh, we're doing a fade in now?
That's, it's always been a fade in.
Well, my ears suck ass.
They do.
But fuck that.
It's always been a fade in.
Who cares? My senses are weak.
My sense of smell is terrible.
My eyesight's not the best.
My hearing is only okay.
So what do you, how do you live?
Live, slow, die whenever, man.
Your sense of smell is weak.
My sense of smell is weak to the point of being almost non-existent.
Yeah.
Which means your sense of taste is weak.
Yeah.
Which explains the sugar of fixation.
Your eyes are, your eyesight's bad.
My eyesight and my right eye is okay.
My eyesight, my left eye is terrible.
But you don't wear glasses.
I don't wear glasses because glasses are for dorks.
But you could get a prescription if you.
I could.
If I need be.
You, but you.
The solution was to get bigger and bigger TVs.
And how's your hearing?
My hearings, I guess.
I thought it was fine up until just now, but I guess that's attention.
Less, less hearing.
Same thing in nature.
I wonder if I can still hear that noise that makes teenagers die.
Like in nature, if you're distracted and not paying attention,
or if your hearing is just bad, either way, the tiger's going to get you.
I don't want to get eaten by a tiger.
So it doesn't matter whether it's like your attention or your bad hearing.
No, Bill.
No.
Yeah.
So little, little Beastars humor there for you.
You're not making it.
Oh, well.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Camilla's gone crazy.
Camilla's back in the spotlight.
Camilla has lost his mind and blocked his own company.
Yeah.
Because they caught him asleep as fuck.
Yeah.
Asleep as fuck to do what?
Perch salt shakers and shit on his bald head.
It, it does work out when the blocking goes so far and so extreme that it has no meaning
anymore.
Yeah.
It's now just a spiritual, it's a vibe.
Essentially.
Yeah.
It's a thing you can earn off of a Kickstarter.
It's gone from, don't ask me any question I've already answered, which was already like
an insane request.
There's a tweet log though.
Always search the tweet log.
To don't do that in English ever.
Yeah.
To don't talk to me about games I'm not working on or haven't worked on.
Yeah.
To don't exist.
Don't talk to me.
Don't talk to me.
Don't talk to me.
Just don't talk to me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, it is, it is kind of funny in the sense that it's like at the end of the day, he must
have a very particular use for Twitter.
I followed him on Twitter for a while and I had to stop because he's constantly, he tweets
all the time.
I don't know how he gets any work done.
I still follow him.
It's in there.
But like, I feel like he uses it for a very particular thing.
It has, it's a single serving use and everything extra is just completely optional.
It's like, it's like he wants it to be like a LinkedIn or something.
Maybe.
Or you need, or he needs, he does, you do need it to keep abreast of like what's happening
with games and trailers and shit, you know, but it's, it's, it's hit the point of parody.
So the point where it's just like, yeah, fuck Platinum games blocked.
Well, also the plan is to unblock everyone possibly, which I can't, his, his phone is
going to be a mess the day that that happened.
Yeah.
It would, it would, it would immediately then be like, well, I did it, but now I'm starting
again.
Yes.
And I think he must like have like, there's also the possibility that he just like gets
joy out of every time he hits that probably does he gains in power, even though it's rude
to do.
Do you think there's anyone on the internet with more blocks than Kimia?
Yes.
Because there's people that use auto blockers.
Yeah.
Sure.
That's sure.
Either way, it's nice to see, oh man, it's nice to see them all healthy and happy and
in the public eye and crashing mega 64 panels.
I just thought of what if Kimia, like he's like, oh, the intern is going to have to spend
three weeks unblocking people on his phone.
But what if as the interns doing that, Kimia goes and sets up a block list of everyone.
He's already blocked and then the day after he they unblock everyone, he just turns the
block list on and you're all blocked again.
Easy automatic.
Oh man.
Fuck yeah.
Oh, that's super good.
He did it.
He held up his end of the bargain.
He didn't do it.
You all got one tweet out or like he's like, okay, you're all unblocked.
I've deleted my Twitter account.
Here's my new Twitter account straight up just I've abandoned it.
My new Twitter account, which is private and has no posts, is only for DMs and I'm only
following that one cosplayer girl.
Yeah.
That's it.
Anyway, yeah, apparently they had a pretty good PAX East.
That's cool.
The one of the only groups that has actually flown out to PAX East.
PAX East was like functionally half canceled in terms of exhibitor booths.
GDC is full canceled.
GDC is postponed.
What you like is full canceled GDC is postponed in a really bizarre way because they said
we're postponing it in fear of the Corona out of a coronavirus outbreak, which is currently
scaring the shit out of everyone.
But like even even even by best estimates of like it'll it'll probably odd will disappear
like the flu in April or whatever.
That's April, man.
That's like two months from now.
Yeah.
That's way too late for GDC.
Also, that's a that's a completely nonsense bullshit lie.
I don't want to get into it.
Yeah, I just don't touch people and I wash my hands.
Wash your hands, everybody.
What about the food they have to bring to you?
The outside world has to exist.
Stalking up on cans.
Yeah.
There you go.
So I don't know if you saw that that beam that got posted, but it's basically it's
like, hey, so it's talking about the Akira movie.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Perfect.
Isn't that thing isn't that thing awesome?
Well, do you know what I'm playing right now on my Twitch channel?
I'm playing Resident Evil 6.
Do you know what happens in the rest of the evil six whole lot of outbreak?
Where do you think the outbreak takes place?
Tokyo.
No, America.
No.
Well, yes, but mostly China.
Oh, really?
What do you think the name of the virus in Resident Evil 6 is?
Is this a sea virus?
It is the fucking sea virus.
Hey, so so here's what's going on, right?
Resident Evil 5 for Black History Month and then Resident Evil 6 for this shit.
Akira is a 1988 movie about an apocalyptic event taking place months before the Tokyo
2020 Olympics, showing the who, otherwise the World Health Organization, advising
Japan to postpone the Olympics because of a pandemic risk, realizing that Tokyo is
hosting the Olympics in 2020.
Months before the Olympics begin, coronavirus appears, who is advising Japan to postpone
the Olympics because of a pandemic risk in the screenshot of Akira 147 days till the
Tokyo Olympics.
That 147 days from the Tokyo 2020 Olympics is July is exactly yesterday, February 29th.
Everybody panic.
No, man.
Well, I mean, eventually in enough media that is like only 10, 15 years in the future,
you're going to get some get some ring dingers.
Just go find that poor girl that's hanging out with Tetsuo and make sure she doesn't
get gooped.
Yeah.
And then get Tetsuo and just beat him down with pipes.
I mean, well, there's that.
But that's going to make it happen faster.
It's huge.
Not if you beat him down hard enough with pipes.
No, you see, I think that's the problem.
I think the prevention attempt is what actually causes it.
You find the Tetsuo out there and then you actually just start beating the shit out
of him preemptively, thereby causing the whole thing to go down.
Yeah.
Not like that when they hit him with the wrinkly baby juice.
Okay.
Well, let's wait for the patented like laser rifle to be announced in the next 30 days
and fully equipped on the ready to go and you know, and then once and then we'll be
able to assess the situation from there.
But yeah, stay away from stadiums.
You know, what's a great thing to do while you're terrified of the outside world?
Stay in and listen to a podcast or watch a stream or a YouTube video, play some video
games.
Hey, you know what, maybe even maybe we get to a point where we set up little disinfectants
outside our front doors that go as soon as someone comes to deliver our food or or parcels
and packages and we just hit like Kojima once again.
He did it again.
Oh my God.
He just called it.
How?
Oh, man.
Genius Kojumbo.
But instead of BT's, it's just people.
How does how does a man it's just people coughing.
This is wild guesses and this is just packs of coffers hanging out throughout the city.
How does a man who can foresee the future of the Internet in MGS to also foresee that
the S in strand stands for strand?
Well, did you know that the reason why GAC was involved with MGS to that did not even
know that was because in a TV commercial for MGS to a TV CM, as they say, oh, yes, gacked
was Kojima tweeted out that they got a gacked song because, as you know, G A C T are the
letters that are associated with DNA, which is the message behind the memes, the original
memes, as told with gene meme scene, the message of MGS and I hate it as building towards the
DNA gene to meme delivery, G A C T, right?
But hold on a minute because the recording artist has a can there.
So what does that mean?
What is the case stand for?
What is the fucking case stand for?
I don't know.
Is the case stand for no gacked, yeah, plus K. Yeah, the case stands for Kojima, and that's
why he chose gacked to do a TV commercial for MGS to Kojima is like every terrible indie
filmmaker combined into one person.
But because he came up in video games, we all love him.
And I do love his fucking games.
I love everything.
But at the same time, this has become so insufferable.
It is.
It is painful.
If only because of how much I love Hideo Kojima.
To the to the death, I should have died.
I should have seen it coming, and we all should have seen it coming when we loaded
up poops and we saw a hot, cold man.
It's the kind that was the start.
It's the kind of insanity, though.
It's the kind of insanity that you know is directly responsible for the quality of
the games you've played.
Yeah.
So you cannot for a second stop to go, ah, right.
It's like every time, every time Tracy Morgan would be in the news
for doing something fucked or doing some dumb shit or just do whatever.
And you're like, yeah, but but that's why he's Tracy Morgan, though.
Yeah.
You know, and it would always just be the same thing where you're like, God damn it.
That's that's kind of what it is.
You know, it's the same.
It's the same one.
I'd like to be corrected that that was Peace Walker, not poops.
But also Peace Walker sucks.
Oh, sure.
Anyway, fuck Peace Walker.
Um.
You know, that's that's what it is, man.
It's the same part of the brain that makes ODB a lyrical genius, a master of
delivery.
I remember that also has to pull up to the fucking welfare office and give his
kids all those food stamps and a limo.
It's just it's it's the same genius.
I remember being 16 and playing MGS to and there was a guy named Fat Man who
loved bombs.
He did.
And I later was like, oh my God, dude, Fat Man was the name of one of the bombs
that dropped in the Japan.
That's crazy.
And there was supposed to be a different boss, but there wasn't.
But it was also named.
That's so deep.
Nope.
Didn't happen.
That's so deep.
Laugh and grow fat.
And then later I was like, wait, wait, wait a second.
That's not deep at all.
Also how'd Stelman hide a fake leg?
There was a real leg for like a decade.
Pat shut the fuck up vampires.
Okay, they call him vamp.
Why do they call him vamp?
It's because he's an obvious vampire.
No, man, just hits on both teams.
A nickname that I have never heard referred to in that context before or after.
Fuck it.
I I can only imagine the night spent like viciously flipping through a
dictionary to find out if there's other words like revamp or or anything
close that you can fit those letters into that man's the source away from him.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, God bless Godspeed.
You know what, though?
2020 Olympics gets canceled.
Yeah, first thing I want to see.
What's that tweet from Kojima?
Yeah, I'm okay.
That was legitimately unbelievable.
That's what that's what we need.
Well, that was during the tsunami or the earthquake.
One of them where all the studios were like, Hey, everybody be careful out there.
Like, you know, everybody here is safe.
Don't worry about it.
Just outcomes genius.
Kojumbo blasting it out.
I'm okay to be fair.
Imagine how like I imagine he turned his Twitter on and had a couple hundred
messages going, Are you okay?
And then he went, I'm okay.
Yeah, but it's not how it is.
Read the room, man.
It's not how it is.
Read the room.
Yeah, you know, um, so, so, so, um, I feel like the idea of him unrestricted
creating films is something that needs to happen once.
Yeah, I need I need to go to a theater.
Yeah, Hideo Kojima production and and never again.
And yeah, everyone needs to catch what's happening.
You know, everyone needs to see where and how this is a mistake.
They need to feel what we felt.
And then and then immediately we back down to video games back back.
You go like shriveled up, shriveled up.
You know, you know what I'm excited for?
The diehards who will oppose that whatever movie that is, that it is the
best movie ever until the day they die.
It will have many, many hidden meaning.
Oh, big discussion.
You're right.
It will have many hidden meaning, big discussion.
Yes, it will.
And that will mean deep good.
Deep good hidden meaning discussion.
That, you know what?
You just figured it.
You just you just all the all the pieces locked in a place from what you were
talking about.
That's why Kojima stuff isn't actually deep.
It means things, but there's nothing to discuss.
There's no actual back and forth.
What is the bonds between people important?
Yes.
Yes.
Did you catch the pun that implied that?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes.
Are nuclear weapons bad?
Yes.
Well, according to nukes are bad, man.
And whatever his storyline tends up ends up being.
When I was a child, a nuke stole my mother's purse.
But the but you see the thing about it though, right?
That is always again is that is fascinating is it's when the thing that
happens in the thing is like in the it it's when it's ahead of its time
where it's when it's calling out where the future goes.
Yeah.
That's the impressive part.
Yeah.
That's the impressive part is calling out the state of the internet.
Yeah.
Social media and where we're going to end up.
Mm hmm.
You know, and and yeah, man, you know, like that's crazy.
It's it's like, wow, you called it.
Didn't know about discord.
But here we are.
Here we are.
But anyways, I just I feel like the thing with that movie too is that it'll
have a ridiculous budget.
It'll kill secure funding.
He will secure actors.
He will secure actors and all of the budget will go towards them.
Yes.
And there will be some CG a little bit.
And the coolest thing about the movie will be the Yogi Shinkawa poster that is
not used in America.
Yeah.
And that will be that will be what it is.
That'll be the coolest thing ever.
There'll be a Yogi poster that is not used in theaters in America and everyone's
going to fucking love that thing.
And then we just we just move on and pretend it didn't happen.
You know what's going to be great because I mean, I don't know as much about
film development.
In fact, I know precious little compared to game development in which I know a
little.
But let's look at the Star Wars movies, right?
The prequels particularly.
It is my impression that in a game development studio in which there are many,
many, many moving parts, somewhere real film, the history of it is even though
you have a tour or like a director that's like, yeah, there's a lot of people
going, dude, that sucks.
And like fighting you on it.
Just being like, no, it should be like this, you know, competing visions or this doesn't
work or this level doesn't work or this character doesn't.
Right.
But the director of a film.
It's their vision being put down onto onto fucking real.
Right.
So whereas Death Stranding was unhinged Kojima.
Could we get a film that's even more?
Well, no, because I think that like in both cases, there's going to be people talking.
But if if you are a like known name that has got clout and a body of work that people
trust, that you're going to always get to steamroll the conversation.
Yeah.
So you're never going to get yelled into like, I made MGS to God damn it.
Don't you tell me what to do?
You know.
That's always going to be the case.
And then you get Prometheus.
Then you get.
Is Ridley Scott like the most hitter mitts director ever?
There's probably more.
Because his hits are hits.
There's probably more out there.
Misses are fucking bad.
You know, there's probably more because I I get it.
You go back to the Kingdom of Heaven one and you go like, well, that was the cut.
That's the cut.
And that's the studio, you know.
But in terms of like the hates being harder hits.
Yeah, I get it's hard to find whoever you find with that's more divisive will not have
harder hits than Ridley Scott.
So yeah, it's fucking crazy.
Maybe, maybe.
Anyway.
Back to back to reality.
Away from movies.
Get out of here movies.
Well, except for because you mentioned Star Wars.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Oh, they're releasing DLC packs for the for the episode nine.
The tweets.
They're dropping tweets.
Those are from books.
It's great.
Those books are DLC packs.
Super sorry.
Hey, did you know that there was a massive cult on that planet?
Then they're the ones who got indoctrinated and built all those Star Destroyers?
No.
No.
How would I know that says Frodo?
It's not in the movie.
Yeah.
Hey, did you know that he totally was a clone?
Totally a clone.
It's totally a clone.
Did you know that?
So.
No.
How would I have known that?
It's not in the movie.
Maybe there's a jar of the other clones though.
And you know, he blew up in the blue smoke.
So that have to be a clone.
Besides, didn't you read Dark Empire?
Hell no, I didn't.
Well, you know, same shit.
Reading books is for nerds with glasses that can read them.
Which I think we'll have been reminded of which is like, yeah, that's the shit I always talk
about where that I read.
It was Dark Empire back in the day.
And I was like, oh yeah, that brought the whole clone thing up way back when fucking 1994
was it?
So, you know, I think the weakest thing that could ever be said about a piece of work ever
is, hey, this part sucks.
Oh, don't worry.
It's in the supplemental material.
Well, that's like this is what happens with games, right?
All the log files.
And currently we are getting the log files in tweet form for movies for fucking episodes
nine.
And this is a baffling, crazy way to go about it because this never happened for seven or
eight.
This is a way to disseminate details out into the public consciousness so that the fucking
Blu-ray sales get better.
So that people just go, oh yeah, he's a clone and they don't remember where.
Could you imagine, could you imagine if like after the release of nine, the Twitter account
officially just became time to answer questions and potholes.
And it's just, and it's just dedicated to arguing down things that people didn't understand
or like.
All right, I'm going to say something dramatic and crazy.
You know what they should do.
And you know what they should do?
They should put these things in the movie.
But that's not the dramatic and crazy part.
I just needed to follow up on, you know, what they should do.
Does everybody remember episode one where Qui-Gon Jinn takes a little blood sample, a
little baby, and he goes, oh, you got all these metaclorians, right?
And he explains, he looks at the camera and ruins the force.
That's the exact same thing, but put into the movie.
Imagine a different past where he took a blood sample of the kid and said, wow, he's got lots
of blood on him and then just walked out of the scene, right?
And then people would go, hey, how come the blood test and then the Twitter account said,
oh, well, metaclorians are in the blood, blah, blah, blah.
And everyone would have gone, that's stupid.
And we could have ignored it forever because it was bad.
But knowing that this guy's a clone and that's why he's disintegrating at the end for no reason.
That seems like it would have been important.
I'll see you and I'll raise you.
Oh, yes.
1977, you walk out of the theater.
Yes.
You just hit the credits on A New Hope.
That's right.
And then you pull out your cell phone.
Yes.
And you log on to Twitter.
Twitter.com 1977.
And you go to George Lucas' account.
That's right.
And he has.
Did you know that the force is actually controlled by small microscopic beings called the wills?
And and you went and they are the ones that are actually causing things to happen.
And then you would unfollow George Lucas and probably not go see the next Star Wars movie.
Like you understand supplemental material.
And we gotten it back in the fucking day from the horse's mouth itself.
We would have already been in this predicament.
Too much detail.
The lack of explanation saved us.
If it's not in the movie, it doesn't count.
I think that's a really, really, really clear and like easy to follow rule.
Say what you will.
But you walk out of that Chamber of Secrets.
Yeah.
And J.K. is standing right there.
Right there.
You hand her your 3D glasses.
And she puts them in the thing.
Did you know that off camera or sometimes even on the camera, but you couldn't see it
because of the ropes that they were shitting and pissing themselves.
And as you're walking over to the escalator and down back towards the subway,
she follows you all the way to the subway.
Not now, J.K.
Stops at the turnstiles and then goes back up to find someone else.
Did you know that Snape only wanted to help Harry because he saw his mother's fuck eyes?
We got it.
Got it.
Thank you.
Did you know?
You're not.
This is not making it better.
Yeah.
I know Harry's dad once took 10 cocks at once.
No, J.K.
J.K.
Stop it.
It's not improving the story.
Well, so there you go.
If you want to call it what it is, you've got to remember the wills.
I feel like I'm the only one who keeps trying to bring it up.
Yeah.
For me.
And I won't like the Harry Potter.
I won't let you run.
The Harry Potter stuff always sticks around because it's always so stupid,
but like Will's is just it's so.
You know, it's really weird.
It's I'm going to tie this back.
So Will's is kind of a Will's of like, I always think Will the Wisps.
Yeah.
Right.
Like the floating ball fairies.
Yeah.
And then I think about the fucking bizarre ass musical that George Lucas made called
Strange Magic that someone forced me to watch.
That was about grasshoppers and fairies live and learn and live together.
How about that?
And it's the it's one of the weirdest musicals ever.
You know, when you watch a musical or musical movie like specifically, you're like, oh,
cool.
I can't wait for the song.
Yeah.
Except every song in it is a pop song cover.
Yep.
And none of them are unique.
And it's like, but and so the the the Marquis song is Strange Magic.
And it's like.
George Lucas sucks.
I mean, let's George Lucas sucks ass.
If there was an opportunity and you have to you got it, you got to think you got to
play this out to the end, right?
But if you were able to get in his ear back in the 70s and go listen before you cut to
the credits.
Yeah.
After the fucking Death Star.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You need.
Yeah.
To just you zoom in on the happy celebration.
And then you zoom in again.
You zoom in on Luke and just you zoom in and you zoom and you zoom and you zoom until
you get to the cell.
You see the cells and then within the cells, there's little you see a little group of characters
and they're like little ghosts and they're all like having their little life and then
it just says to be continued so that you can't escape it.
You cannot escape it.
So then when Empire comes out, you have to acknowledge it.
What was that?
You zoom in to cells at work to fucking Osmosis Jones.
I'm gonna look something up.
Go ahead, George, because I'm familiar or I'm not familiar.
I recently learned that George Lucas's wife, whose name I cannot remember, had a large
effect on those early Star Wars films.
Black Lady.
Particularly in terms of the fact that she was responsible for a lot of the editing
in the original stuff.
But what was her name?
Her spouse is Marcia Griffin.
Oh, no, not the Black Lady.
Someone before that.
No, Marcia Lou Griffin.
Okay.
Here we go.
Divorced in 1983.
Okay.
So post Star Wars original series, she was long gone.
So she wasn't around to go, George, that's fucking stupid.
There's a ton of versions of that because the version I heard of that was also Spielberg
was hanging around basically picking up the slack on two and three.
On rather five and six and kind of going, hey, let me fucking help you with this.
And you should probably do that.
And apparently Stephen was helping him out.
And there are a lot of other people involved in those movies.
So there's a ton of these little stories and we don't know what the full effect of them
was, but apparently there's like, okay, he got a lot of help.
You know what?
As a way of explaining what's up.
Kojima needs a wife or husband.
But I'm just assuming here who goes and says genius Kojumbo.
My, my dear, that is fucking stupid.
Stop that.
And he goes, yes, dear.
And he tones it down.
You think you think the team that he works with is not doesn't have this.
I don't think anybody in that studio walks up to him and goes genius Kojumbo.
Fucking stupid.
I don't think there's enough.
I don't think you can, you can do it.
I don't think it's possible.
I don't think it's possible.
I don't know.
Like, I'm sure there's a lot of like constructive and like collaborative criticism, right?
Where it's like, hey, man, I don't think, but you know, like, I need, I'm talking to somebody
who goes like, hey, that's fucking dumb.
How come you're dumb?
Do you put that in?
So I don't want to always go back to it, but it's so apt.
He has a wife and son.
They need to fucking roll up their sleeves and start punching.
It's apt in this comparison that we talked about how David Cage got reigned in.
Right.
He has the other guy that owns Quantic Dream that's getting in the other people in the
like David, the writers to to sandwich around his his shit.
So that decision has to come from whoever hands him the money next.
Right.
Because now that Andrew House size is not in the situation anymore, the money is going
to be the lashes are going to have to bat.
And we're going to have to find that, you know, I can't.
I can't.
I can't see Kojima working well with like Hollywood producer doesn't.
But it doesn't matter.
The point is that like whatever the project is, right?
If they get a if they get like someone to fund it, then that person would essentially
go, all right, we're getting all this money, but we're also going to have a couple people
be like, hey, man, what's that about?
And then maybe, I don't know, you know, but that's bad also because then those people
can be like, put the toys in here.
Yeah, man.
Make that fucking sponsor thing and get that can closer to a screen.
Hey, genius Gojumbo, does your character like the Olive Garden?
Yeah, well, you know, yeah, actually, that would be no problem.
That would absolutely be no problem.
Or better yet, like Demolition Man, where you have a different scene for the store.
That's like legitimately genius.
It's the way that that pan out.
Multiple fucking endorsements.
Because I've watched Demolition Man and for me it was Taco Bell.
Was it Taco Bell for you?
I think I saw Pizza Hut.
Yeah, you saw Pizza Hut.
I've seen other people say like McDonald's and Burger King.
I don't even remember.
Yeah.
But yeah, that's crazy.
Next level.
Also, Demolition Man kicks ass.
Really bizarre casting as Dennis Leary.
Is that one character?
Because it's just Dennis Leary.
And he's talking about how I want to drive a car and eat a big burger.
And you're like, this is the song that you sang, isn't it?
Like, it's weird.
Sure.
Yeah, I just remember the blonde hair on Wesley.
Like, oh shit, you can do that.
I remember 1980s Sandra Bullock.
Sandra.
And also 1980s Rob Schneider.
Why do I feel like I'm like it's, I know it's not true.
But I feel like the first time I ever heard of her was the net.
I mean, that totally, that that totally possible.
You know, but it couldn't have been because I saw Demolition Man.
Yeah.
Maybe she was a big star at the time.
I'm not familiar.
I don't know.
We're talking about old movie stars now.
I guess the kids don't know.
I guess.
Yeah.
I guess if you're talking about fucking speed era, the kids don't know about
that movie that had Nicole Kidman in it and Sandra Bullock, but there were
witches.
I don't remember the name of it.
I think that Midler was their mom or maybe I'm mixing that up with
something else.
This is this is Boomer talk now.
Yeah.
Talking about fucking Demolition Man and speed and Sandra Bullock is Boomer
talk.
Yo, speed kicks ass.
I don't care what year it is.
Crazy.
It's crazy.
I know you.
How are you going to walk up to a dude and be like, Oh yeah, I got my papers
right here as you shake the papers and then there's a knife underneath it.
Like who's not going to see the knife?
It's the most.
It's the stupidest thing in the world, the paranoid world that we live in.
He fucking, he leans over and he pulls out his papers.
Oh yeah, I got my guy and he's shaking the papers and then there's a big, shiny
fucking knife underneath it.
And then it goes clean into the guy and you're like, how do you, you didn't see
that?
Yeah, pay attention, man.
It's crazy.
It's ridiculous.
Remember that part where the old lady is like, I got to get off this bus.
Yeah, I do.
And it's meant to be like, Oh no.
Oh man, you remember that part in die hard?
Like holy shit, idiot.
That's what you get.
Remember that time in die hard three where Bruce Willis gets attacked by those mobsters
in the elevator and he shoots one and the blood goes on his face.
He walks out and Sam Jackson is like, Oh my God, are you all right?
He goes, it's not my blood.
You're like, Oh my God, it's so cool.
Got to get those dump trucks, man.
Yeah.
No, I'm going back to the old lady.
All right.
All right.
We're going back to that because old lady was like, I got off this bus and they're
like, no, don't do it.
And like, don't you understand the situation is you're going to die if you try to get
off the bus.
She's like, and then she fucking then boom.
Yeah.
And there she goes.
No, no, she's gone.
Oh yeah.
She blows out and goes flying out the fucking bus and everyone's like, Oh, I can't believe
it.
There was a backup thing for blowing up the one person and it was trying to get off the
bus.
Yeah.
And it was a full on like stakes raised moment type of thing, but like it doesn't work
because you're like, you're an idiot and you got it.
You deserve it.
So that moment is supposed to be like a stakes raised tragic moment, but instead it's just
a huge wipe out.
Hey, and you know, and that's the difference, right?
It like when it's a huge wipe out, you cheer on the wipe out.
You're like, Oh, she got it.
Hey man, I don't know about you, but I need to fucking turn in my cans at the grocery
store, but I don't have a grocery cart or some other like trolley.
I'll use my baby carriage and just and and pull the pram hood up so it looks like I'm
shielding the baby's face from the from the sun and fill it with cans.
So when a bus runs it over, they get to all go fucking crazy.
Oh my God.
I just ran over a fucking day.
No, it's just kids.
Just kids.
It's okay.
It's just kids.
You know what?
You could make a fucking half second edit to make speed the like way darker and it's
don't show the react like the shot of the other part of the part of the car.
Don't do that.
They'll do that.
And just and just can't read like you see him look back and then he just says it was
it was just cans.
It was just can one version of the script.
Was it fully actually a baby?
And then at some point they just pulled a I see the parachutes.
They're okay.
Yeah.
Right.
At what was it after everyone walked out of the test screening and was like all they
talked about is I can't believe they ran over.
I can't believe counter eaves murdered a baby.
What is what?
Like and then they went back and they did some ADR.
Yeah.
And then they did.
They shot the new scene that had the cans fly out of the pram.
And then they were like, oh, it's just begins.
Because like, yeah, everybody knows like the trolley problem of like you pull the lever
and you kill the people or you don't.
I'm sure that bus has like 25 people on it.
Yeah.
But it's a it's a baby.
It's a baby.
A baby.
Right.
Yep.
You could go like one of every person on this bus just happens to be a complete piece
of shit.
Yeah.
You don't know.
Yeah.
But baby's probably not a total piece of what if there's a baby on the bus?
What?
Oh my God.
There should have been a baby on the bus.
There should have been a baby on the bus.
You know, so that's the problem.
And then I never saw it.
Right.
I never saw it.
You never saw it cruise control but deep, deep down in my heart the idea of the same
people being stuck on a boat in the exact same situation.
It's my favorite thing about Hollywood and the entire movie industry.
Yeah, that that was ongoing for a long time.
I never want to know how and why Sandra and Keanu wound up on a boat with a fucking bomb
situation in the exact same way but the stakes are raised.
Die Hard was fucking awesome.
Die Hard was really smart about it because Die Hard 1 happens and it's happenstance, right?
It's dumb luck.
Then Die Hard 2, they play into it like, I can't fucking believe it's the day that I'm at the airport this happens.
Me, John McClain.
And Die Hard 3, they're like, okay, this is, it's too much.
It completely defies belief.
There's no way John McClain would get involved unless the villain explicitly says,
you have to have John McClain do this and get involved because ha ha ha and it turns out it's a revenge thing, whatever.
Because otherwise it would just be like, oh fuck, fucking give me a break.
Something that the later movies just said fucking it, John happens to be right next to the Apple guy in this one scene.
Apparently Keanu did not come back for speed 2 cruise control.
What?
So it was just Sandra then.
And a different guy.
And then, oh, we're on the boat.
Now the boat's got to dry up on land and, and, and, and fuck you.
Ah, yeah, that's good.
It's good, it's good, it's good.
Yeah, of course Die Hard 3 is better than Die Hard 2.
Die Hard 2 is the shitty Die Hard.
Well, before the later Die Hards happen.
So watch one, then two, then three and realize the two is not as good because none of the plot makes sense because that the people who wrote the script don't know how planes work.
But okay.
Those planes are circling the JFK airport for like five, six hours.
You can refill planes in the sky.
You can also divert to a lot of places in the U.S.
Yeah.
If you have five or six hours.
You can go to LaGuardia.
LaGuardia was full in the movie.
Okay.
But with the time period that we're dealing with in that movie, they could have gone to like Vermont and they could have gone to Maine.
They could have gone to a lot of places.
Boomer movies.
Boomer movies.
Boomer movies.
Boomer movies.
Boomies.
Boomies.
There we go.
Boomies.
And the boomy, the boomy calendar ticks forward by a year, every year.
What is the stop?
What is the cutoff for the boomy?
How many years ago?
And the boomy this year goes to speed again.
Yeah.
No.
Because speed's awesome.
It kicks forward, but it doesn't, though, because it's always the 80s.
The 80s will always be 20 years ago.
That's not true.
That's only to you and me.
That's only.
But that's what I'm saying, though.
I'm saying the 80s is forever 20 years ago to us.
So that will always therefore be that era.
There are a lot of people right now.
Very confused by what you're talking about.
But don't worry, guys.
It'll happen to you.
The 80s is always 20 years ago.
That's right.
It's a feeling in your heart that'll never change, right?
The present day is just pushing the real present.
Now, for those of you.
Into fake time.
Who are super cool teenagers and listen to this podcast at the age of 16.
It won't be the 80s.
No.
It'll be the late 90s or the aughts.
Or the aughts.
Right?
Sure.
But it'll happen.
You'll see.
There'll be a point where you're like time has stopped moving forward.
Like it's moving.
In memory form.
Yeah.
It's moving forward, but it's not real.
It's just it's just present.
Coming after the year 2000 is just a really long present.
But from 1999 and back, it's the actual.
I'll be quite honest.
I'm having a form of temporal disassociation this year as it's 2020.
Yeah.
But it's not.
Yeah.
But here's the other thing.
It's not.
Here's the other thing.
Like 80s was 20 years ago, but 2005 was a million years ago.
It sure was.
It was a fucking lifetime ago.
And I remember growing up and my parents and TV shows of the era and the parents on the
TV shows would talk about the 80s and the 70s and the 60s.
Right.
And it was always like the 60s were great and the 70s were not quite as great and then
the 80s were fucking dope and now the 90s kind of suck.
The 90s did kind of suck, but the aughts, the aughts were trash.
The aughts were the trashest decade of all, but the 90s retroactively were awesome.
Yeah.
But we're at 2020 and the aughts are still trash.
Yeah.
The aughts are trash.
So they're done.
Fuck them.
The aughts were just trying to do 90s with more money and bad.
And it was great.
Yeah.
No.
90s bro was still new shit because I can think of like, I can think of like 90s music.
Yeah.
I can think of identity.
It's the identity problem.
I can think of 10s music.
I guess we're calling it 10s.
I don't know.
I just said that, which would be the past music of but aughts.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Well, the the identity is weaker.
It really is.
And like the 10s definitely brought about a certain look, a certain sound.
There's a couple of things that are distinctive that you go like, yeah, OK, that was from
this era, certainly.
But there really is that 2000 to 2010 era of like stuff.
Yeah.
I guess the internet was happening as I became an adult, the world was shitty.
The decade that the internet like solidified itself.
Yeah.
Was also the least.
Yeah, because it was all about meme flux.
And and the dot com boom.
So I stopped.
I talked to Page about this on on stream and we lamented it.
But well, do you remember the 30 to 50 feral hogs meme?
I remember.
How long did that last and on what time scale?
30 to 50 feral hogs did not have a lifetime more than three months.
I feel like it was actually like a day.
I think it was like I feel like it was two to three months.
OK, that that's generous, but it was it was short, right?
It was extremely short.
Do you remember how long that boy lasted?
That boy was a couple months.
That boy was absolutely a while.
All right.
Do you remember how long all your base lasted?
All your base was the entire fucking beginning of that decade.
Do you remember how long those Indian Fanta Shokata commercials last?
Fanta Shokata.
Fanta Shokata.
With the commercial generator.
Yeah, that was in there for years.
That was that was a couple of years.
Right.
That was years.
That was years.
The meme half life.
Yes.
Has shortened dramatically.
Yes, because they're not they're not leaving the same impact anymore.
Back in my day, when you saw a fire meme, you were going to see that meme get remixed.
It was the meme of the year.
You're the man now, dog.
You're the man now, dog was around for like 10 years.
It became a domain to catch memes.
And it did.
It caught many.
It caught many memes.
You need they need to weigh in Stain Mother to kill their Babies.
Oh, man.
I still remember that whole thing.
Babies can't fix back.
It was on the new this morning.
A mother and are who kill her three kids.
They are taking the baby to lady to rest.
Truly.
I'm sorry for your lots.
May pray with the father or some shit like that.
But yeah.
But now look at this.
That's a fidget spinner.
This is a fidget spinner.
Wow.
Is this already old?
Okay.
Now you now here's the problem.
You just you just you just ruined it because this proves that you prepped this
conversation.
No.
And you brought this out.
You I've had this.
Prop out.
I've had this for 10 days.
And I keep forgetting to bring it to the podcast.
I actually planned to start doing this on my stream as an old boomer man to fuck with
people.
But instead I was reaching into my pocket just because I do that.
And I was like a fidget spinner.
No.
This looks this looks fucking this looks set up and staged and I don't like it.
And I don't like it.
I don't like this staging.
But the point remains.
I just happen to have a fidget spinner.
You just happen to have a pointer.
But the point remains.
Cisco being the leader of the gangster crew that lasted.
There was length to that.
And I made a friend of many years.
Many, many years now by playing FF 14 and saying like I'm a gangster.
I'm a straight up G the gangster life is a life for me.
Yes.
And then in chat.
Yeah.
Someone shooting people by day selling drugs by night being gangsters held up.
I'm like you're cool.
Yeah.
Let's talk.
You know what lasts longer than the funny memes?
The horrible ones.
That's right.
The big the ones that I'm even like don't even want to say because it will cause the
children to look them up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Before the term not safe for life existed.
There was there was the challenges.
The challenges.
The pains.
The pains.
The horrors.
Whatever you want to call it.
Do you have.
Do you have the the gumption to click on it and learn about how to fuck a dolphin.
So.
Justin Wang has like an exhaustive breakdown of everything on that website.
Yeah.
Did you know that if you were to suck a dolphin's dick and it were to ejaculate
you would die because it shoots at like 14 meters a second.
Sure.
Snap your neck right off.
Don't very very.
Don't do it.
Very detailed website.
Yeah man.
It was actually a time when you would never had jokes and laughs like this.
They were being invented for the first time.
Thus their staying power was massive.
Right.
But it's the exact same effect and comedy works that way.
But it's the exact same effect as why as to why George Carlin prior Eddie Murphy you
know all like last they've last forever.
Nobody's told jokes like this before.
Holy shit.
Yeah.
It just it creates a new a new.
Carlin's a fucking bit on the seven words you can't say on television fucking blue
people's goddamn minds.
It's it's all like when it when it quote unquote breaks new ground.
Yes.
You might it then that new ground stays exposed to that thing until someone else put something
on top.
I had never seen a bunch of Milwaukee drunks fucking complain about movies while tripping
over themselves and being sad.
But now I've seen it and I love it.
It's a new experience.
Yeah.
No man.
There is no current there is there is no current meme staying power.
The only thing that happens that is comparable is when the lexicon moves forward when a meme
gets pulled in as a part of like the language.
Do you want to hear the worst thing in the world that I have a friend of mine and this
friend's brother is currently in college.
No he's in high school.
And whenever anyone tells a funny joke of you know how man the brother goes oh man that's
a good meme.
And the word like joke is gone is replaced is gone.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's just mean.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's fucking.
Mm hmm.
Yeah.
So bad.
I hate it.
Yeah.
I mean we've talked about people that like well anyway yeah that's fucking throw up in
your fucking mouth you know but the things that have the staying power then are yeah
it's the language stuff right.
So F to pay respects is not going anywhere any time that that that's here forever.
I I've seen like legitimate actual death announcements been met with legitimate sincere
F's but I don't think it's going to spread further than it has.
I think it's it video people that play games know what it is people that pay attention
to games know what it is.
I remember and then and then to some degree internet people that are kind of just like
on the peripherals like if you're like an anime kid and you don't really play much games
but you know about that stuff it's tangentially close enough.
I remember there was a if anybody can hit me with the name of the streamer but there was
a Japanese streamer that I remember was talking about death or a character died and their
chat exploded in F and they were fucking completely baffled and had no context for what it was
and thought that people were like trolling them or just fucking with them.
It's just like yeah it's fucking nonsense.
Yeah.
That's that's going to stick around you know because it's a part of the language right
and it's like unlike a random thing where you'd be like hey the punchline is the same
beam from five years ago but it's still funny because we all still think it's hilarious.
Like this is fine is lasting just fine.
Yeah that's true the burn dog.
Yeah.
Yeah because there's been variations there has been and I think it helps a meme when
the creator comes out and says I hate it.
Yeah.
Because then people meme it up.
There's also fully animated ones you know the flesh melting slowly but then there's
the the updated ones were like a big firefighter.
That's from back draft is pulling the fucking it's from fucking out of the fire and it's
like yeah so it is evolving.
It is growing aware.
Is feels good man still appropriate.
I mean Peppy's is taken on all new context new lives.
I refuse to allow feels good man to be associated with this because I for real ask use it in
its original context.
Yeah.
Where Page will ask me Pat why why are you pissing with your pants all the way down your
ankles with the door open and I will look at her and I will say it feels good man.
But here's the thing Peppy's not going to last.
Because Peppy is probably the current version of a fucking meme face original meme face
guy.
Oh God.
You know at meme face reddit meme reddit meme face guy challenge except oh my God.
That was bad right away.
Yao Ming Yao Ming face like you know whatever all that shit or like whatever the fuck you
call that thing or it's just like talk to a girl and it's like she's got like a bow
and it's the same face or it's like I look kind of goofy but I got a bow like that.
I want to say like Buzz not BuzzFeed God.
What was that stupid troll face you're thinking of the troll face series troll rage comics
but there was a there was a website that just fucking well at some point it literally became
like like rage face generator dot com nine gag nine gag nine gag nine gag nine gag the
nine the nine gag faces yes 100% me goose the all that shit yeah that thing is if you
see one of those now you get like you get you get irrationally upset right you get so
mad when you see one you know what I could go for you know what I could go for I could
go for if you guys want to hit up my Twitter at at Pat stairs at with some dank old old
type means I could go for a new I could go for a new insanity wolf I could go for a new
self conscious penguin two color spiral yeah the two of the advice animal advice advice
animal yeah that's fine I can ask cheeseburgers fucking ruined that's gone forever you know
Paige didn't know what that was correctly she thought it was I can has cheeseburger and
everyone stared at her and it was very awkward well either a law cats that shit's gone you
know like that in fact I would say I would say law I wouldn't say law cats are gone I
would say it just purified cats are just cats it just purified into just post cat just post
dog just you don't need you don't need to qualify it with anything just post a picture
of the thing and it's like yeah that's fine that's good post cat and dog follow your follow
your cute animal Twitter of choice and then watch as they forget to change accounts and
start liking a bunch of porn Twitters yeah and you're like okay but that's that's where
Peppy's going Peppy's going the way of the nine gag faces Peppy's going the way of really
how a philosopher Raptor Oh really yeah really yeah really no way I don't remember there
was the oh really yeah really no way get out there's a bunch of owls with their mouths open
fuck off yeah it's fucking it's gone it's gone and you see it now and you get mad because
you know that someone's auntie posted it and then sent it to everybody like it's no longer
true that meme dies when it hits the news because that's not enough like memes are dying almost
as fast as they become popular sad yeah yeah well anyway I think things like like so the
twitch shit right kappa for example like it's associated with the platform yeah so that exists
alongside the platform yeah it's a part of the language in that way I don't understand
part of the language poggers what is poggers it appears to be gootex's fucking face yeah
it but it's just it's just a shock face right okay pog champ it's pog champ you just you're just
like whoa holy shit right laughing this is the new this is what's interesting if you want to get
like current right because the language evolves right now laughing has completely changed into
that guy going like this right whenever something's funny it's it's it's what is what is the fucking
thing called it is low LUL oh it's it's a it's total biscuit it's total biscuit okay so the total
biscuit lap the total biscuit is now forever which is now double immortalized after forever yeah
right and that is like locked in yeah permanently that that that that's what laughter is on twitch
right and that doesn't go anywhere being sad is Isaac's face as an example as I'm looking down
exactly exactly right so that's locked that that's it's locked in permanently but um I think that
like outside of like chat language purposes where it's like it's associated with twitch yeah there's
gonna be like I said like things like all the like peppy related faces will probably a couple years
down the line be like all right well that was the face then but that's gone now you know what
it's technically a meme but I always found it fascinating because it's actually like a proper
academic meme is different language is uh approach to laughing like literally the the the I'm typing
that I jed jed jed jed jed jed jed so it gets into the situation where if you get into your
counter strike match and you see or you can just fucking quit out right right now just get the
double-double double double double what do you want or VVV there be like yeah
but you gotta get the fuck away wait it's gotta get away yeah yeah just get the f**k out it's
language laughing language laughing and tells you a lot tells you a lot um
anyway it is it is it is it is it is truly a society
of evolving we all live in a society of evolving language but I think I think it when it's associated
with the platform that people are currently using that's the life's benefit what's the mixer laugh
what
there that yeah that was it
the sound of one hand clapping yeah that's good I actually had a recent experience with mixer
if we can segue into our weeks if that's a good time sure I started playing a game that was free
this weekend it might still be on monday it's half off it's called deep rock galactic have you
ever heard of this nope probably pops up on steam every now and then and you go I don't even s**t
about that and you click off it's uh you know how payday works uh I know it's a game with
clowns that that robs stuff yeah so you you get in it's kind of clowns right yeah it's heat it's
just heat heat clowns yeah uh you get in you get the materials you find off the cops you run away
so it's kind of that combined with left for dead combined with like a vermin type thing and it is
your space dwarves you dive in you got your your heavy your guy with the grappling hook the guy with
the you know the flamethrower you know the the different classes think of evolve and you're going
into mine rocks and bugs don't want you to mine the rocks and it is very simply described as like a
left for dead payday experience co-op kind of shooter but with space mining instead of bank
robbery and it's really good it's just really really really f**king good it's not what's that
what's it called again deep rock galactic okay it's really it's been in early access for like
two years apparently it's going like full release in like two months uh I was playing out this weekend
had a lot of fun with people but the reason why I bring it up in regards to mixer is there's a really
hilarious mistake on their options menu because on their options menu you scroll down and in the
general options it says mixer integration and it has a button that says mixer integration right
and you think like the vermin tide integration or the you know the you know the the the dead cells
integration where the chat can type things and things happen yada yada and then you mouse over
the mixer button that says log in with your mixer and the pop-up descriptive text is enabling
twitch integration will allow your viewers to influence your game and join in and it's like
you guys forgot to to f**king change it when you made whatever deal you made
you forgot to change the tooltip text from twitch to mix f**king oops yeah that's gonna happen
that's gonna happen you know sure like it was the it was one of the first things I saw in the game
and it just made me giggle of just like and and and the bar you know it's like it has like a
like uh that you have on the left side it's the integration and it's the the title of the feature
and has a long bar all the way around it and the mixer integration takes the far most right button
and it really looks like there would be space yeah for two other buttons there yeah I don't like
maybe twitching you too but it's like it's like whoever has to make the phone call to be like hey
guys um I don't know if you noticed but you kind of there's something here that looks you guys need
to you know and then whoever's on the other line ended the line on that that finds out about the bug
it's like how's your response going to be anything besides oops hey man you know what this is you
know like hey yeah we'll change it you know what this is all right let's not pretend none of us
don't know what this is that's yeah all right it's you're right it should be it should be we should
have changed the word should have been the end but we're just gonna change it back later we were
just trying to save time hey man look like that's that's the response what do you
fucking want from us you know what do you fucking expect are we gonna are we gonna pretend that we
don't know oh yeah we're gonna pretend we're gonna act that's the deal you're gonna pretend this is
not what it is you know what this is we gave you the money you're gonna pretend we're all pretending
out here can we just hey you know you just have to have an earnest word man an earnest wordless
conversation I want to get into this as somebody who's now primarily a twitch streamer every time
somebody stands up and goes man and they have the pr video and they're like man
I can't wait to try and grow my future and really expand and try and do crazy new things
and that's why I am taking my stuff to Facebook gaming and you're like
no no no no no yeah don't look at my shiny new car at house don't don't look at it
the prospect the prospect of being off of the major platform is always one of immense riches
yeah so it's gonna be the hardest the hardest thing in the world you know I forget I forget her name
but somebody showed me there was a lady streamer who didn't do it as hard she was just like hey we're
gonna be doing new things and going to mix her and then like in a separate different post she's
was like I'm so happy to buy my mom a house and you're like fucking good for you yeah buy your
mom a house sick yeah I mean like you heard about um what is it there's that there's a podcast version
of it almost yeah luminous is that uh who's is that I don't know who owns it there was title
there for a bit no no it's that that was like that was the jz spotify yeah um luminary luminary
was the one where it's like okay it's like you you it's it's uh podcast behind the paywall
right and then upfront there'll be like here is a gajillion yeah and because your numbers are
gonna tank and this is this is what you do to like fucking make up for that and so there's a
couple of like gigantic podcasts that just went like yeah we're taking that you know and at the end
of the day yeah the numbers get tanked and it's like okay this is the only podcast might as well not
exist anymore right but the people that but the like the the the podcast might as well not exist
anymore but they're now millionaires for a fucking sake like what do you who you like uh you know how
Raid Shadow Legends exists I've still not been able to get the number off of anybody because
everybody's the number is big the number is what do you mean you didn't take the Raid Shadow
Legends money what are you fucking stupid what are you fucking dumb
huh yeah yep yep hey if anybody watching this so works on Raid Shadow Legends hit me up that's
at Pat stairs at on twitter you hit me in the DMs I love Raid Shadow Legends you could hey
hey in there yeah in there
I mean I would love Raid Shadow Legends end of episode nine
hey what's your name Raid Raid what Raid Shadow Legends yeah yeah yeah well anyway um
um no there's definitely there's definitely a point and a place and a certainly there can
be a number slid across the table at which point you go so our viewers our listeners will drop down
to four yes I forgot but here is your life now so I forgot it I forget his name people in the chat
will remember and if you remember the streamer's name please let me know in the chat so I can
get it correctly for the audio listeners who aren't listening to this live but there was a guy
that when make when you go to mixer they give you a bunch of cash to do the promo video right you
remember ninja and shroud did these fucking if you're if you're head hunted over high production
value promo videos sure this guy went nah and made a tweet saying yeah I'm gonna I'm gonna mix her
and then gave all the money to charity okay and it's like yeah okay great good good job
hmm yeah it's still I mean there's you know every every um every packs every one of these like
sort of uh uh uh trade shows and stuff there's always like you know the mixer mixer and there's
a bunch of people in there that are like you know like going like all right well this is how you
saying it's a person named toast okay toast for Facebook oh not mixer yeah okay you know mixer's
trying I can't believe Facebook is trying well yeah I mean they've got the bankroll to try and
again the payoff if it even cracks like one if it gets one person uh if they get one person who
people follow aggressively yeah over there it's still worth it yeah I don't think so
the the numbers coming out of uh the numbers coming out of mixer that I was checking out
where that ever since ninja moved over which is the the biggest that's the crazy one is that people
have watched about twice as much mixer but that has come from about 10 to 20 less viewers
hmm so less people are watching but they're watching for longer
which seems terrible for a platform it it growth is one metric watch time is another
yeah yeah whatever I don't know but um all this to say that that doesn't change the fact that
that phone call is gonna be what it is which is hey man yeah and that's that yeah okay so deep
rock galactic's really good if you like uh co-op shooty heisty left for deadie kind of experiences
go check that out I might stream it like next week or whatever you know we say heat but I mean
it's also really just the intro to to dark night rises or dark night rather yeah but like heat
existed decades earlier which it certainly did I guess the clown masks is what works its way in
there yeah but yeah cool cool oh and also if you want to check out uh the crap that I do
which is stream video games you can check that out at twitch.tv slash pat stairs edition of the
usual schedule normally I don't stream Monday nights what genre of game is payday payday cooperative
is it heister no no but where is where is the camera it's a shooter it's an fps yeah same thing
with d it with deep rock okay okay horde shooter co-op shooter stuff like that okay uh so I'm I don't
usually stream on Mondays because I do this here podcast but today because that motherfucking ff7
demo came out I'll be streaming that ff7 demo at 7 p.m. eastern over twitch.tv slash pat stairs at
tomorrow I'll be doing a sponsored stream by a game by focus at home interactive uh called curse of
the dead gods it's like a bash genie like roguelike looking thing sometimes those are good words it looks
it looks like a katulu hades like instead of greek methods katulu uh and then the rest of the week
will be re6 which is a oh my god it's so bad it's so bad it's so bad
you ever hey well you you you've gone back and played old games how many times are you like
remembering a game you're like yeah it was kind of bad and then you go back and it's actually
way worse than you remember it being like way worse and you're like oh I kind of gave it a free pass
because it was new or something when was the last time that happened boy I don't know it was a dmc2
like when we when we threw it in for that 10 minutes it might that currently that's yeah that's
probably it that's probably it um I haven't been down in the chitter first quite some time yeah um
it's it's markedly worse than I remember
it's one of those games where every five to ten minutes you're going huh what but shouldn't
but why it's terrible don't play it come watch me play it ah ah that's it for me really I just
played drg and played f of 14 okay what about you man uh okay well I had a week of a couple
of different things going on in terms of what I played uh the I guess the most notable is just
went back through vanquish uh took you about an hour I mean it wasn't that long obviously you know
but um so the the LP going through uh is like I said it's min playing it for the first time
and I was just kind of like you know playing alongside on my own whatever afternoon no problem
yeah you can bang that shit out it totally um and there's again I talked about like all the things
attack you don't want to overwhelm all that jazz and whatnot there's definitely something to it where
uh if you do the if you do the thing what that min does which is the uh the min maxing as we call
it right where you get you grind out all your weapons you grind out all your things yeah you
get your you get everything up to like like max level yeah the big metal um boy does that game
become a joke yeah um at least on normal right because like there's moments where like I mean
besides damage and everything being really strong you're more people down but also like any real
crazy challenging uh bosses or moments you've got eight EMPs to drop bam so you're like you're
used to three and then deal with it and now it's like oh man that unknown is just you just fucking
drop it you know um and it kind of is interesting in the sense that I'm like oh wow I like that's
something I didn't really know in the sense that I was like yeah you really do just kind of fly
through normal I would like that um but there's a bit of a moment where and like for better and for
worse as a result of that when your limiters come off you might not even really get to fully
appreciate the moment because of how hard things are melting I I love Anquish but I really dislike
its weapon upgrade system its weapon upgrade system is super flawed it's super like hey do you love
this weapon don't ever use it it's that that's bad right um and and I feel that like while it does
it does serve the purpose of like making that final moment feel really good you really like the
handcuffs on you that is the AR meter yeah there is there are times you're like
you overheat after one melee just can I just get a little bit more juice out of this thing
you know and that's that's kind of the deal right you're like ah if only right or or
like a mode you would unlock that would be limitless juicier AR mode but there would never
wise there never was there never was a like a limiter released like mode to play the game I will
say that vanquish is one of the games that used the achievement system to its fullest with one
achievement which was the achievement that you got for absolutely red lining your AR on a dash
to the final pixel and then letting it go but not letting it overheat and just like yeah yeah do that
you and this is teaching you what to do a little achievement thing came up was like do that 100%
right or like hey distract like 10 guards with the cigarette at the same time yeah like oh that's
what that's for right but um you absolutely do like kind of get the singer like man like after
you beat a devil may cry game if you feel like just stomping and having fun and you certainly can
right and just practicing combos you can just fucking pick sd t and and and not sd t rather
super super daunte yeah you gotta unlock those but that's after you already like there's nothing
left for you in the game you've already stopped it yeah but you can pick super daunte super
corrupt virginal whatever you want to do and just fucking stomp through it with infinite
dt and then you know like it's a joke but in the process of just stomping through it you can practice
things and dumb shit you wouldn't be able to do otherwise it's a training mode but you before
train you know like I remember using uh super daunte and dmc3 to do some of the secret missions
yeah because like I just couldn't do them for whatever reason then you do them a super secret
super daunte and you're like okay y'all got it no problem nailed it yeah so that's it right and uh
I I don't know why vanquish doesn't do that you know definitely should um because shinji makami
doesn't believe in that shit yeah even though he totally does because the reasonable games had
rocket launchers I don't know I don't know like it feels like it feels like uh you know it wouldn't
have been the worst thing in the world with the secondary release or third secondary release
to kind of go by the way we added in this little thing you know there's a lot of things I would
have actually appreciated about that weapon upgrade system if it just changed a little bit
what if they stayed and you get new game plus it but then the difficulties were made assuming that
you already had you were coming in with we'd be stuffed up totally because then you could get to
a point where like yeah I'm gonna play it on god hard and it's really hard but it's not
really stupid stupid hard because I'm coming in with my at least my machine gun is completely
upgraded yeah whatever yeah or just just you know be like like either give upgrade boxes more often
or just make it so that like you don't have to be full ammo to get an upgrade up honestly I would
have preferred that game if I had no upgrade system whatsoever that's fine um alternatively you could
have had a uh you always have all the gun types on you you just don't always have ammo for them
sure you know so you could switch around and play with that yeah a weapon wheel it's these
things where you have this these games that are immaculate but there's just a one look that one
thing yeah so in Resident Evil 2 the remake yeah I don't know if you did the B scenario but when
you do the B scenario you um or second run it's called in that version you get a different handgun
at the very start and the different handgun uses different bullets yeah but the problem is and all
the all the bullet pickups are replaced with the new type of bullets but the powder the gun powder
that you make still makes the old bullets so now you're juggling between two handguns extra
inventory space it's annoying as fuck it's not even the inventory space it's just that it's annoying
as fuck okay so download a little mod that just replaces all the pickups with the old ammo and
you just throw that new gun on the garbage and just use the regular handgun and it plays a lot
better on pc yeah yeah yeah uh I think um if I were to look at it right especially now having
having a re-completed it uh I think what I would say is like especially considering how you throw
the come throw the story in the garbage just don't even talk about that what are you talking about
it's so deep it blew up san francisco it's a series it's a it's a series of missions on a menu
I think I'm simple uh what you want to think about right in the case of vanquish is
what would the optimal sickest version of sam b and what would the funnest thing you could do
for the player b right within what the framework of this game is and two things come to mind one
uh like I said the um uh limited released version right but you might even run into you
know you know the speed you fucking boost that yeah you might even run into draw distance issues on
some levels there's only one room in the game they give it to you and it's a sealed room it's a it's
a box right so there might even be like oh god we can't get the assets in fast enough might be real
right who knows but um it's then again it's like it's from two gens ago so yeah if you if you
one you give the player that and two weapon switching for maximum style yeah those two
things combined would allow fucking sun high legend would be able to just yeah go to town like
there it would be the most stylish beautiful thing right and I feel like uh you then would be able
to balance god hard against that ability set and create super god hard yeah right but that's not
what they did and it might have been lack of budget might have been lack of time but you know
it doesn't even it it's one of those things where you're like yeah it didn't even need to be a
vanquished too it just needed to have a little bit more consideration put towards like how much fun
the player is going to have using this suit to its to its maximum and the reward for going through
everything you know a weapon wheel and unlocking that extra bar not even unlimited just extra bar
obviously would be like the definitive vanquished experience I think but dear god it's still one
of the most stylish super cool shooters ever made it's still like an amazing platinum game that was
slept on and it's still like a macamie banger and still being slept on today yes um but for what
it's worth like the ideas in that thing I don't know if there are any other shooters that come close to
touching any of them I feel like stylish rolling and shooting that's a pretty rare
junk happens sometimes but not often it never involves crazy boost tech no you know it never
involves flips and create and melee and all that shit you know like it it just doesn't exist
so vanquished continues to be the only kind the only of its kind you know um good old vanquished
but yeah all that to say that we we went through and had a good time with it I saw I mean yeah
to be fair when people were trying to show me the coolest shit in warframe yeah there were moments
there were moments warframe has I mean the the problem of warframe is really simple there's
nothing that threatens you yeah when when all of that cool shit is going on yeah it's the problem
that dmc has at the high level it's like there's nothing that will stop you absolutely nothing
warframes at high enough level are putting out are either functionally invincible or are putting
out so much damage that nothing can get within a radius of them okay and it's pve balanced yes
and it's not yeah it's just not balanced at all meanwhile guns the duel another stylish shooter
similar issue although it's like it's it's it's PVP balanced you know and uh also rife with cheaters
and I'm being informed that self damage in warframe is gone okay and that they are rebalancing the
armor scaling okay which was the single biggest problem with enemy scaling in the game interesting
what you had a problem was you had enemies that were their health scaled enemies were their shield
scaled and enemies were their armor scaled and armor is just you know functional hit points
but the curve on the armor raised so much faster than the other two that every what you every build
is how well is your character strip armor because the other two you'll be able to prove force with
numbers but not this shit we're talking like millions and millions of hps and if they fix that
then maybe they will be able to create things that can hurt you that would be nice warframe's
kind of a fuck right now well um that's cool but that's still certainly not like I said that's
certainly not the exact itch we're talking about scratching though yeah you know um so it's like
I it's sad to think that like vanquish will all be the only vanquish in history I can't even
but that's a quantum theory yeah come on come on yeah there's a lot of stop and pop games but
cover shooters or cover shooters a lot of stop and pop games don't have a lot in between the
stop and or pop yeah or yeah exactly right and it's like like this is the like I said vanquish
is the game where like the action takes place in between the check govern the cover change
right the road you run from one to the other or the tactical roll from one to the other
this is where you do a crazy ass fucking you know what I can think of one I can think of one called
control control there's I mean it's not that type it's not speed action but there's you're doing
shit you're doing cool ass stuff the glimpses of end game control were pretty nutty that's true
yeah you you become that becomes a very different you're a Jedi you're a Jedi yeah
yes you you're a Jedi yeah you could also fly yeah
well anyway um vanquish good vanquish good vanquish good control good also vanquish suit
can't believe Sam and that suit never showed up anywhere drives me crazy sickest design
it's a great design sickest design and and more frustrating than that and I've complained about
it every single time vanquish is mentioned and I will never stop you only get to see what it looks
like to other people once in one cutscene and he doesn't do the crazy stuff he just slides yeah
I want to see what Sam looks like in a fight to the people on the outside yeah it's like I want
to see like you know like we want to see what what is the outside observer's perspective of Dio or
the flash or any anybody who moves quickly it's like it's the power armor version of Jehuti
yeah in terms of just like dear god that design is like beyond the scope of the world it's in
it's so strong you know but at anyway anyway anyway um played some board games I played
uh a couple different things this week we had a table lords uh where we sat down I think is
murderous as doke upon nothing is murderous as doke upon um this time we went with uh channel a
which is a card game where you draw like you take turns being the producer and someone is
basically okay okay okay gonna draw uh two words that are gonna be a concept for a show they want
pitched all right and then you the the the pitch person pitch man has to make an elevator pitch
for an anime that does not exist and then uh do your best in the fucking 30 seconds sell it sell it
right and the words are all anime is fuck yeah and they're great really fun game did is there a word
isekai in that deck um there's probably there probably is and if not isekai it would be like
world or virtual world to another world whatever yeah so um for example if I were to
reach into this deck and draw out cards at random this is easily the best way to demonstrate this
I love this this this type of type of explanation I drew four cards yes and they are and I'm gonna
arrange them in a coherent order uh pseudo coherent order coherent that's not the word
coherent here we go show title is perfect yeah cosmic yeah love yeah rocket perfect cosmic love
rocket that's a space dandy that's the name of the show just space that's the name of the show yeah
and like you just that's it you know and the whole deck is just all kinds of shit like that
and the words that have been used by like multiple shows that's about your dick right in space um
there are there are great ones that like reminds me there are great ones that are like uh uh punch
lines we've used in the past like 120 percent is absolutely in there you know um so we went
through and played it and had a really fun time coming up with some shows where I think the goal
is reached when we finish the round and everybody votes on the winner and then we all kind of go
fuck me I want to watch yeah I want to watch that I would fucking watch that happened at least four
or five times and like I'm like okay mission accomplished the game the game did what it needs
to do like space patrol ludico is almost on that exact naming convention there there are no cop
for well oh by the way rest in peace inferno cop sorry buddy yes um those words are in there you
can create real titles by the way great you can accidentally create real titles and you
just have to figure it out I space and patrol are 100% cards yeah in there um yeah I'm just like
full metal muscle penguin you know there's just there's all there's there's things that are just
like v in there the word v it's great or a depending how you hold the car jay is in there yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah um I want to say like like some of the some there's some really cool titles I want to
say uh punch mom having no anime background whatsoever was able to pull out some pretty
impressive stuff had a cool show name I think it was uh Sakura blue flash okay I'm like oh
I'd watch that that's a cool name that's just sonic in high school that's just song high school
whatever the case may be um the difficulty is fitting the premises together yeah and then
we also did some audiences the producer and we have to pitch to the audience oh yeah exactly
oh you but the audience is kind of a bunch of dumb asses right but uh it was it was good it was
good so uh we got to that on table lords uh we also got to play a hanabi and hanabi is essentially
imagine group go fish solitaire okay except you can't see your cards
so we I had okay the goal of the game is to have five suits go from one to five next to each other
right like solitaire okay okay and we can only play a higher number than the one on the table
uh huh right so red one red two red three red four red five all right one two three four five
green yellow yeah um but we all when we dish out when we get our hands of four cards a piece
you hold your cards backwards and you cannot see your own cards oh everyone else can see your
cards that's weird and you have to basically take turns going around and you're you're trying
it's cooperative because the goal is to together to try and complete as many of those rows as possible
but holy fuck does it become brutally competitive because everyone's an asshole when they don't
remember the information you gave them right oh man so every turn you're allowed to either
give a piece of information attempt to play a card or discard one right and replace it
with something else it seems like a solitaire version of that game where you're trying to
guess what's on your forehead it's a little bit of that and the problem is when somebody
doesn't remember some information you fucking gave them and they go oh what do i do and you're
like you asshole you're gonna ruin everything yeah that's the game you asshole you're gonna ruin
everything right it's cool i feel like a lot of board games actually break down to that premise
it's it's what we were talking about where it's like what's worse an incompetent partner or
getting stomped on in in a competitive way competent partners and this is this is always
so this is where we're at right it's always the worst so yeah we had a couple of games with that
and man does it get fucking hard uh that was a good time and then lastly uh we tried out
million dollars but which is one of those games we got from roosterteeth yeah which was their uh
kind of like match to uh apples to apples style game okay so you just kind of go million dollars
but something horrible yes as always and then you have to pick which one you would not do
for the million oh and you get to see where everybody's personal line is exactly i don't
know a million dollars a million dollars exactly so how bad can it get and there's some bad ones
you know that you know that one where it's like hey if you hit this button you'll get a million
dollars but somebody out there you will die yeah i feel like that is a like a logic puzzle failure
because it's somebody you don't know a lot of people would hit that button a lot of people
would hit like no hesitation oh yeah this is like 50 50 whether or not they're like a bad person
so yeah you could it could just be win-win i mean statistically like anyone capable of
committing murder for less would yeah press that button for free that's right you're right
so then take those numbers and then add the like you know the incentive of
whatever situation yeah for sure for sure but anyway in this case
the cards involve things such as like um what do you got okay well million dollars but uh
every time you enter or exit a building there is a 10 chance that your next shower is diarrhea
oh that's awful yeah that's not great i would not take that no you wouldn't and that's where we
did and that's where we're at i would not be able to do that and that card then that person would win
right um i'm sad now yeah yeah and some of them are more just psychological some of them are more
just like uh million dollars but uh every time you hear a baby cry everyone in the world will
have a secret that they'll never tell you wait every time every time you hear a baby cry the world
will get together and have a secret that only you are not allowed to know better i have kids or else
like yeah the some totality of human knowledge will quickly yeah i'll pace you yeah so so that's
the weird stuff right so where so that's where you get into places of like okay so a diarrhea shower
at 10 percent 10 percent is really high it's a pretty high percentage chance right really high
very very high right and you don't know like because you could have the shower and hit with the poo
and then you go to shower off the poo and get hit with the poo again and then what if you walk into
a building and forget something and walk out then it stacks oh it stacks right then you got to think
about you got two showers queued up right now what right so there's all kinds of shit like in
there right and of course there's possibly yeah sure you can come up with solutions such as i don't
know uh never take a shower again but only to switch entirely to baths only baths yeah uh but
either way you know like you get that or you get the the the horror of what does everyone know that
they're not telling me and you know that they know something yeah and you don't know what it is they
might even it might probably be it's probably about you you can get a million dollars but
there is a one in ten thousand chance every day that somebody will stab you it with a syringe
filled with their own semen right in the butt right in the butt which is real and did happen
and i am not crazy i like the fact that like i like i don't like i like let's use our words
carefully here i like learning yes through footage what the type of person who does that
behaves like immediately after doing well what was that right like it's really interesting
that you're so fucking gone that you you you know what's up so you have to hide fully shape do it
without shame and hide it yeah do it with shame and hide it and be like oh i just got you right
and then look around and go i don't know what's what happened and then just kind of wander out
and it's one of those bits where you're like it's almost better that you just be
brash out loud haha did it full on nutty homeless version of that yeah because the version where
you still have shame and you're like and is that are you just gonna go then like jack off to the
memory like what it was it was kind of uplifting to see that once people could actually see the fear
there was an explosion of oh yeah that's at all that is that is a nightmare that's a night
that is a real real nightmare that's a nightmare because if somebody shoots you or stabs you
you know what that means but if somebody stabs you with the mystery syringe yeah that could be
anything including nothing which is one of the worst because air is bad in your body it's it's so
baffling to think that like that's gonna do it for you you know it's extra crazy that the guy's
name is steamins which is a an anagram of stab and semen mm-hmm and again you do this weird thing
create a weird interaction that's completely like it's again it's like it's only the memory that I
suppose you're gonna enjoy this shatters every societal law yeah but would you do it for a million
dollars though no and here's what's fun is as time goes on a million dollars means less and less
that's right invest it so now that starts to become really not a million dollars now is not
the million dollars that we thought of when we were kids when we were kids right it's actually
like less than half as much or whatever probably you know and compared to our parents generation
where it was like well you're double super set for life yeah I don't want to I don't know how much
it would be now but it's like a million dollars felt like you're good forever you're done at one
point during our lives it totally was nowadays I don't know what that number would be but it's not
that yeah so if you want if you want a million dollars right now if anybody whatever just fucking
go buy a really nice house in a good neighborhood land land is good it's the only thing they don't
make anymore also we're talking million after taxes yes so the taxes you know always with the taxes
well yeah that's what you got to do it's that season taxation is the
all right they're around paul what's up it's funny libertarians are hilarious you want to
talk about uh auditing the fed I don't know what that is you got to audit the fed how does that
even work what does that mean because the fed the federal reserve is full of shit and they they've
been they've been they've been they've been bullshitting people for years and they need to
be audited themselves well yeah they're fucking everybody in the government's a thief so but they
still build roads and shit they get to audit you why don't we get to audit them we're paying them
because they have the backing of like the armed forces and the fucking FBI and the rcmp and the
police apparently like yeah um also because we live in a society
we do though we do live in a society well anyway the market will sort itself out the market
will provide um thoughts and stuff and things thoughts and stuff and things yeah million
dollars but yeah so you would probably have a very difficult time obviously you know
I'd probably lose that game readily yeah yeah uh but it's also I imagine it's also a situation
in which you somebody with less overt neuroses gets to discover new awful things about yourself
you do confront the girth and gait of new horrors where you're like oh I didn't ever think of this
once in my whole life yeah and now I realize I'm afraid of it oh yeah yeah you you absolutely
you absolutely confront confront that um the the and then of course there's there's the there's the
full-on uh uh backfiring that is uh someone like men who's like yeah I have no problem with all of
it I'll just do it I'll just do it I don't care you don't even have to pay me yeah I'll do it you
know it's like oh god okay this is what are we breaking down yeah yeah and then you have your
middle of the roads right so you on the one hand you got the 10% diarrhea proc that's right on the
other hand you got the the big secrets oh hey hold on a minute woolly has a knock at the door who could
it be hey hey we're back what's up with that well where'd it even go where'd it let's go
would I throw it would you throw that fucking tossed my shit okay that's good pop filters are
different yeah we changed our pop filters amazon just delivered them right now hey what's up with
the delivery people in your home having a moral compunction against doorbells oh yeah I don't know
it's really weird it's kind of like hey I don't know why you don't want to press the doorbell
there it is I recently had an experience in which a guy tried to open my door into my home
after knocking and giving me five seconds and then when I ran up there I pointed at my doorbell
and said hey dude mm-hmm ring the doorbell there's a button and he said I did I rang it twice
and I looked at him and went no you didn't yeah my phone goes off when you press it
that means that no matter where I am I'll hear it so you should probably press the fucking button
well anyway um yeah there we go now we uh this this this is there's new tech and it's
slightly more professional uh and it's less face blocky so oh yes people can see the big old
fucking soup catcher our good old meme faces that we create got your soup catcher there there you go
exactly now now there's a million more possible emotes to be created without that annoying pesky
big pop filter more like meme motes right look at that
anyways board games table lords all of that good happy horse shit uh was a lot of fun this week
and if you uh would like to see uh that shenanigans also of course some more things like koto or two
and uh doom continuing check out woolly versus on youtube uh there's also woolly versus on twitch
woolly wolls on twitter uh man just keeping it brief but koto or two dialogue boss battles
isn't incredible i fucking adore so now you're getting hit with obsidian yeah obsidian yeah
like i was like for the like after that session i was like riding high the rest of the day like
holy fuck that was so good do you now understand what i meant when i'm like i think koto or two
is literally the best thing that ever happened to star wars but i but again i'm just i'm just i'm
starting to touch it i'm just starting to touch it you know so really really good um yeah all of
that coming soon on uh on woolly versus and uh but uh since since vanquish is done um that means
that it's about time to crack open a new lp oh so uh this week probably gonna take a look at something
new is it a surprise yeah all right it's fun to surprise people yes people like surprises
i have a segue from surprises what's that because there's something i forgot to talk about during
my week go ahead i'm a little behind but i did watch episode seven of our our our ever popular
show in our species reviewers now in the past we've had ish we've had episodes in which they
fuck a bunch of mushroom chicks or willow wisps or build their own chick at a golem thing or
turn into chicks and get fucked by hyena women and you're like all right this is all pretty weird
well one's it gonna how are they gonna keep this going for a full 12 episodes
and then you hit episode seven you're like oh that's how they're gonna keep it going
by getting into the stuff that's weird even for its own setting where we find out hey
you know how a lady in the in the in the real world will have an ovulate and they'll have their
their time of the month but what if it was a bird person or a lizard person or a fish person
would you go to a waterworld style exhibit and sit in the stands and watch bird people and snake
people give birth to eggs live on stage
for money but that's not that's not you're going to see a show but where's you're going to see a show
where's the sexy part of that you're going to see well the show does a really good job of having
the normal human or human-ish characters be like i don't get this this is fucked yeah i don't get it
but there are also characters that are alamias and stink men and merman
and why would they because they want to eat the eggs fresh because it's delicious right out right
out the cloaca because it's food because it's food but that's food that's not sex isn't it so it's
isn't it doesn't work and then we cut to a shot of oh man the merman got so excited
they came in their tank and you got merman trying to run from the other merman's tank juice no no
like i understand that that the simple the simple choice here is to nope out because
ooh gross but i i refuse you refuse to do i stand yes i stand and i question
because essentially as much as it's like you know what you just the brain the brain begs yeah
to uh eject from the conversation yeah but i reject your hypothesis my hypothesis my hypothesis
i reject your hypothesis you have now done congrats woolly you successfully framed this as my point
of view what you are putting for what i am putting forward is that when the egg is birthed yes that
there is an attraction from people who would find that egg to be delicious yes i guess combined
with also ovulation some sort of arousal ovulation is an inherently sexual act but
if one were to fry bacon that's right and waft it towards you that would just make you go um i'm
hungry yeah you don't get hard over bacon that's true but some people do get excited
over eating male reproductive products which is also technically food
see because and that is the argument put forth against your exact line of thinking in the episode
when someone brings it up because the delicious food button in your brain
is not the same as the like oof and sexy discussion occurs
they thought of it all and the answer is some people like eating dicks some people just like
eating dicks but that doesn't i'm telling you that's a head i'm telling you that if human women
dropped eggs that you could see there would be a whole industry around it i don't disagree with that
however that's also like not an egg you're gonna want to eat you don't know that because now we're
just cannibals woolly because now and now we're just vor yes they didn't give it a very good review
okay and it was probably an obscure except for the snake guy i'm not gave it a very good review
something is someone is into anything so there's always going to be so here's the thing right
because the show it can't be commonplace the show started out with hey man cat girls
gna right uh cowgirls move with the titties yeah and then they blew through all of that
shit super fast and it has like we're seven out of 12 now and it has it has jumped to
somebody's into it yeah and so like the you you can chart it and now i'm like afraid yeah of like
the 10th 11th and 12th episodes because the idea the somebody's into it is like uh oh that doesn't
go anywhere good this could go anywhere so it's a lot but like if the conclusion they draw at the
end is an overwhelming majority of people are not into this but there are some that are some that
think it's rad we just finished talking about jizz syringe man yes we did we did talk about that
syringes man yeah it's kind of like a bot's master name they call me syringes i use my sword
and how it's in g but like but that's that's that is that is not going to ever be a commonplace
understanding so as long as i guess they come to that conclusion then i suppose that makes sense
but dear fucking god that means the limiters are off yes we've hit the episode where most of the cast
is trying to ditch where could it go from here i don't know the answer is syringes no i'm going
to assume that's where it can go i'm going to assume there will be an episode in which they take
like uh shortening potions that make them tiny people so that they may be ingested in some form
i i would put money down that there will be a four episode of interspecies reviewers
go grab uh whatever the least go go to go to go to your your your go to your favorite website
at arrange by popularity and then go to the bottom and click twice
arrange by popularity and then click twice and then and then you then you know where you're going
like it's it's a really cool idea that they're using this this what is essentially a hentai anime
that preys on audience titillation and it is now turning against the audience
it's fucking it would be it's fucking something else it would be awesome if it were a slow
if it because 12 is not a lot but it also is a lot if they're always half an hour so there
is a lot to cover they usually do two an episode they do two an episode yeah okay they're not always
but okay so most of them if the goal is to get you is if the goal is to get everyone
like to jump off ship okay so at some point well the episode one was elves human beings and
cat girls yeah so like the most upfront okay then you move on to to minotaur cow ladies
stretching it but here we are then it's like a salamander lady that looks like a like something
you'd see in somebody's art page or like uh now it's mushroom people now it's uh like like uh
a fucking uh disguise looking demon chicks sure now no wait now it's now it's gender swapping
so that's why now it's robots see but that's but that's why that's the difficulty with the size
stuff because if the size stuff is still involving someone that you're ultimately like
attracted to yeah then no you're wait what are you saying i'm saying that a lot more people
if you're trying to get everyone to jump off yeah you have to make it size combined with
oh they also they don't know like they already did the size thing oh but in reverse with the
fairies that are like that are like tinkerbell right right right right but then they're gonna do the
opposite okay they're gonna do the the tiny jam now now we now we show the spelunking we shrink
yeah just jam them in there yeah but but what i'm saying is like you need people to jump off
you're trying to get them to to abandon ship yeah before it hits the end yeah and so it's not enough
to just shrink the size and also go but here's a gigantic uh woman that you're otherwise attracted
to you gotta you gotta go hard on it you gotta swerve somewhere on somewhere more than just it's
it's not just a human what if it's a resort insider pussy wow that you can hang out okay okay
and then there's the the water slide and there's the not at all where i was going with that i just
meant change the race change it to a to a fucking medusa half the holder weird thing okay you can't
look that's that's it that's all i meant you gotta watch the show because you're not hitting weird
enough okay we can't put that one as the podcast title can we absolutely not happening because
it has a swear word in it i mean not just that but like i'm just i'm not oh yeah i'm gonna keep
that you know yeah you don't get to say that after you fucking changed it the other week
well listen man deep nut miracle deep nut wheelchair miracle that's a super abbreviated
version did you see the guy who got in trouble at work sure did that's awesome retweeted that
show what are you what are you downloading on the wi-fi at work yep sir see the problem is when
you go into rick and morty rules yeah and then you you get and then you're like you're at how small
are you are you so small that you can be like oh this is the beach of the resort okay this sand
is yeast yeah no i got it finale of interspecies reviewers get really tiny really tiny right
and then you go hang out at the resort on the in one of the one of the internal flaps
and then the the girl entertains another regular size client and you get the the birds eye view
of the whale entering the cavern and then everybody has to put on their their raincoats
we're gonna take a quick word from our sponsors
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i guess there was some news so what do you think about a girl that was just a foot
like her whole body is a foot where's the girl it's got lipstick on it
and and fake lashes doesn't do it for me but i'm sure reggie's in it clamps what about a girl
that's just a foot you see those those fucking is there a wig on the foot yeah okay you see those
fucking fake vaginas that are foot no you fuck the the middle of the no like daedara
yeah no yeah it's like it's like a foot it's like a silicone foot but then at the bottom
there's a hole for your dick and you fuck the foot you put it in the foot
so you at a certain point you're not
no you fuck the foot because you're talking species and then when you when you leave the
word species is a foot a species is a fantasy creature no no it's not you don't know that
okay here's a question we're trying to get everybody to jump off ship you're right you're
trying to get you off ship oh yeah but that's going to bring in a different audience they're
going to get right back on the ship have they touched on zombies uh they're dead last in the
rankings that has come up in fact i mentioned it to you when i first brought up they show the opinion
polls and zombies are no zombies are number two all undead are number two on the ranking
just just above uh demon girls because misfortune in skull girls can have her head come off
yeah and then she can hit it around she sure can for combos so she's dead yeah yeah but she's also
a cat person yeah so she's an undead cat well yeah that's fine she has a thing that her that keeps
her alive yeah yeah yeah i'm sure there's tons of people to be into that so this is where i'm saying
if you're trying to get you're trying to push it well now we're going into like
you know the real yeah gross stuff but with happy zombies that are all like hey
you didn't punch my head right off doesn't i don't feel it yeah that's cool man you know yeah
then it gets weird yeah there's a lot of places that goes it's not great
so does that they go in there i don't think they're gonna go there see because that's what i'm
saying how far you want to get everybody off to jump off the ship i think they're gonna go
that is are instead of offensive okay well
because zombies equals body parts man yeah i know man
it's a crazy world out there
and you know it world in that show seems very laid back
doesn't seem to be a whole lot of drama going on but the problem is like
that's like okay so no one's gonna overreact and be all uppity about anything but what about
the part where you just barf in your mouth at what you're looking at you know oh i
thought you meant go somewhere where they barf in your mouth no i mean like what if you are like
hey listen we live in this world it's all about just being laid back but then you but then you
see something and you're like they have they have straight up had bits in which there are care like
there's a there's a halfling guy who's like a little tiny potato guy and like there's a off-hand
comment that goes lie from the human dude who's like yeah the halfling chicks freak me out because
they look like kids so no thanks and the show definitely sidesteps that shit as you do because
again if the world is like ah it's no big deal like no i'm throwing up all over all of you
if i have to do this review you know or if i have to sit here and watch you do this review
we're just you're just gonna get it i mean the mushroom thing was actually pretty close on that
okay well so all that to say that um you know sure world is all laid back and chill yeah but
if you fucking i don't want to see an egg man yeah you do no come on you're gonna watch the show now
i definitely don't want to see that i'm not i don't want to see that could be in a pussy and
watch it i've watched worse i know you've watched i have watched worse yeah come on
that gator she can she can pop those out man it's a gator well it's a lot it's a lot of
weird shit uh because they go they want to see a hot bird lady do it and they show up and it's
like a penguin and a gator and a sea an enemy and some regular ass salamanders and it's like
just nothing you want to see do the people that are super duper into it like sit under a glass
table it do you remember the waterworld exhibit so that they can look up do you know the what you
remember the waterworld exhibit at usj uh like the semi-circle you ever been in the sea world
yes yes yes yes it's that okay okay not the glass table no okay
shamu's gonna do a trick for you everybody
it could be worse all right so what was up in the news
what what's up in the news
i like how you sandwiched that yeah i like how you deliberately sandwiched that yeah
there's no escape and by like i mean i don't like yeah i know well i mean you you hit me with
colostomy bag is a weak point and uh the which like made me so uncomfortable i always had to leave
so you know we're we're all we're all doing our part here just go with you yeah you remember
the what the email you read about the fucking guy pulling the the syringe out and coming at you
every day every day well now you have footage yeah
and the crazy part is that it's not even like one of those ones that you would have
like an application for because you don't need a full prick needle point for that it can just
be one of those like loose wide plastic ended ones but like a pipette like if you like like
like a baster like a baster like uh what's that movie with the dog yeah yeah yeah yeah okay the
dog didn't have a baster no no no don't breathe don't breathe don't breathe sure but instead
you got to go the way where it's like no this needs to pierce flesh yeah how else will it get
through the clothing how could a baster of semen possibly pierce flesh
one man we'll find that answer
summer 2020 all right
Valorant Valorant what's Valorant it's the story of the man with the story no no
riot games project a is called Valorant oh what is it which one is this this is the one that is
over strike but it's counter strike wait the shooter overwatch but it's counter strike so it's over
strike wasn't that a game also over strike over strike come on that's not it was but it
got changed into fuse oh its name was over strike yeah damn okay all right honestly i feel as if um
from looking at that little like trailer that kind of first there was a leak yeah and then there was
like rob fuck it from rob i don't sign nda's brezzelow from slasher uh and then now they're
just like all right look here it's out they already had they had the um they had the twitter
and it was pre um verified when you look at it like the the the silence of it the the maps
the way the guns look all of it the tactical nature it's all very cs valorant game i'm gonna
take a look at this while uh yeah yeah i'll talk no exactly and it's it's interesting because um
like has there that's counter strike have there ever been like within one second have
there been any counter strike uh likes that also introduced like the magics and the spells and
heroes but i'm looking at this footage and the way the map looks but even the one that makes you go
oh it's counter strike yeah is the upper right kill cam yeah is like name then then gun icon then
name it's it wow this looks like dust like the map they're playing on looks like dust but
over strike over strike over strike okay so uh rainbow six has like heroes right yeah champions it
does and it does have the champions and they and they do have abilities they're not magic but they're
tactical they're like i have a slight hammer to kick down doors and i can seal up windows right so
and and and rainbow six plays more like cs than like a crazy hero rainbow six actually plays like
on the other side of cs it's like it's rainbow six like you fucking hyper hyper hyper simulator yeah
right so would you say that that's the closest no i would say this is i think your your description
of over strike over strike is dead on it is it that this is emulating counter strike about as
closely as i could and then adding it like the art flare you can see it's a little more rounded
did that make sense uh but yeah this is this is over strike and you correctly named this game
yeah heroes are our casting spells yeah and it literally says your alt is ready yeah you know
um so yeah i mean i would be interested to play this it's interesting in the sense that it's like
well like if it hasn't been done then i suppose there's an audience that wants to know what it's
like to play cs go with you know this kind of crazy magic shit it's really it's really interesting
because riot's in this place where they're really evil right the company's very bad
but league is so successful and makes so much money that you look at this game and like say this
game came out and was garbage right they will work on it until it's not period say the fighting game
comes out and is trash they will make it not just keep it just keep it going until it's
dot yeah the resources and time available are functionally infinite yeah
uh i i believe that i feel like um
i feel like we edge ever closer to a world of like every main popular genre needs to
have a fusion with another that equals an existing title sure um and if there isn't
already one in the works then at the very least there's somewhere that one has been games are now
multi-genre experiences um yeah so anyone who knows those types of shooters that's into them is
going to fucking be right there and i remember when there was those tweets saying like oh man
played it love it super good super fun they're all pretty much guaranteed to be free there's that so
why not i would imagine that like the the casual life of a game like this
lives, breathes and dies on the strength of its character design the strength of its world
and overall brand appeal the model like the specific rotating model yeah yeah because like
you know the tactical gun with the box man yes or next to the to the crate
um is like that shit's fucking rad for the for the people that are down that road yeah
but it's not necessarily gonna pull overwatch players away that are into it for like super
like i like mercy reasons well i mean they gotta make a bunch of hot characters they gotta make
a bunch of yeah they gotta do that and they gotta make a bunch of characters you want to
fuck well they need to be sfm models ready to go or blender now has the thing apparently
oh just put it right to like put the assets out all outside the game yeah
oh yeah just straight up why why why what are we doing we're fucking around or you know what
no don't do that don't do that because that's probably uh opens you up to like copyright stuff
but what you do is you have the models stored all in like one folder ah and it's labeled models
and they're like easily importable and there's there's a lot of python or my oh inside inside
each folder there's like exported to all the different possible engines yeah they're just
sitting there yep like oh we forgot we forgot there it is not important that we patch this up
there it is right there yep no time to fuck around put it on the knees they're all rigged
very ready to go insertion rigging that's really weird that's crazy that's that must be for like a
feature that how did you cut what's up with okay well hey please look at that that's weird
oh these these dataminers oh man i got us again they they mined the zip file that was sitting next
to the exe yeah it was labeled it was labeled do not open in the installation folder it was right
there this miscellaneous zip file ah i got us again oh what do you do these kids nowadays with
their computers that's crazy oh fuck like in like what if you're a console player like when you open
up the physical and there's a usb stick in there oh that's great oh no we accidentally shipped out
four million usb sticks branded with valorant on it give us send those back please those that was a
mistake absolutely not supposed to happen oh you you bought a digital here's a here's a url
what no what that was that was that was a mistake there's a fire at that pr guy good job pr guy bug
huge bug everyone don't go to that url our twitter was hacked by dataminers and and sent
you all to a a website where you could download the models for free
but do you like that please give the game a free trial
yeah yeah yeah some of these interesting some of these model layers make some of the closing
the clothing go away but not all of it that's really weird strange strange i guess it's just
you know incomplete textures yeah it must be incomplete textures uh there's also uh i think
riot talked about how they're gonna what their server support for this game is going to be
which is what i came in here uh or before podcast yes so what's so what's happening with that so
they're getting there they've said that they're going to use 124 tick servers um the long and short
of it is that the tick rate of a server is how often the server is able to ping the player and
the player to ping back and the higher the tick rate on the server the more responsive your latency
experience is going to be for example csgo uses 60 tick rate server right uh battlefield uses a
30 tick rate server and boy can you fucking feel the difference well you know when you ran around
that corner and you're like cool the guy only started shooting after i ran around that corner
and then you fucking die and you're like that's bullshit not really but i get it it's because in
that one tick they were shooting at you and it did hit you and it just didn't line up so the higher
the tick rate the more responsive 124 is pretty high doesn't it also make a difference if you're
playing with hitscan weapons it it makes a big difference with hitscan weapons which this game
uses so cs is all hitscan all hitscan all hitscan yeah it's everything made and stuff like that yeah
yeah okay 128 oh whatever fuck all um but yeah no so they so anything realism is gonna always be that
right yeah yeah because bullets bullets they're fucking bullets man what are you doing um so this
doesn't really directly apply to the fighting game which me and you are obviously a little more
interested in but what it does say is that riot is very interested in spending the time and the
money to make the online experience of their games the best it can be
now putting servers or tick rate servers into say a fighting game wouldn't really do anything
but it's about the intention and it's about being able to say battlefield and call of duty
and cs go man they don't they don't care enough to have really responsive net play come over to
Valorant Valorant whatever the Valorant Valerie come over out come over to Valerie's house where she
ticks all day anti Valor yeah yeah apparently there are uh oh there are shooters that that um
that have geometry based uh realistic shooting cool interesting uh like what yeah i don't know
because i i feel as if um a battlefield has projectiles uh interesting that'll be on projectiles
and bad tick rate that sounds awful because you would think right like i guess how you think that
it's just like at the when you come when it comes to simulating a bullet oh yeah you're right battlefield
does have projectiles because if you're sniping you have to adjust for height and it and the bullet
takes a bit to actually reach it's only it's super long distances um do you so you actually have to
snipe in the way that like you kind of do in real life where you gotta aim way above and and you
gotta compensate for drag yeah okay okay also i guess when you think of like well hmm you know
when you see footage of like anti aircraft fire i do and it looks like you can trace the line yeah
like is that an optical illusion no it's they've put trace arounds okay they put trace arounds the
fireway slower but trace the line so the people firing it can trace the line oh cool okay interesting
i didn't know that because anti aircraft are putting out way more shots it's insane yeah and
and you whenever you see the footage of it it's like there is like your seat it's almost like a
helicopter blade right it's like one-tenth of what you're actually yeah yeah no it's actually
they have they put trace around so there's a okay yeah that's that's a cool okay yeah trace the fire
at the same same speed cool so then um i don't know what i'm talking about so then in some cases uh
it wouldn't you wouldn't necessarily go for head scan got it gotcha yeah if you fire enough bullets
fast enough it basically becomes a laser sword yeah well that's the thing is that i've and i've seen
the i've seen footage of or just like i'm like i don't know what i'm looking at but the sound
is telling you more than the visuals yeah sounds cool the sound is telling you more you can hear
the sound of how many are going out so there's no uh there's no like projected release on this sound
and then they say it's number 2020 is it there yeah they said summer 2020 well that's sooner than
well the fact that this is leaking now it seems late doesn't it well yeah by by you standard
standards but if we're going by apex legends that's true that is true drop it hot
drop it hot then um it's gotta be in and ready to go you want to hey since you're saying drop it
hot my brain just went to drop it like it's hot you ever have something completely utterly ruined
for you i recently heard a remix of gourmet race the Kirby track right with drop it like it's hot
you know yeah but it was a different remix of gourmet race yeah and it wasn't drop it it was
not dropped like it's hot and that was the all i could think of is why did somebody the phrase
that came out of my mouth was why did somebody remix bark it like it's hot like this because my
brain went the Kirby remix of gourmet race is is the snoop dog is the official one yeah and i
don't remember the name all the time yeah and my brain says it's bark it like it's hot
it was very confused yeah that's dumb half of that is your brain's problem
but we did just talk about this like i want to say last week where tables turn over yeah
by botanic sage is the official now it's the real 101 song yeah it's just it's like this slam for
everybody's jams is now the real version of battle for everyone's souls um yeah
so i've been seeing i've been seeing the uh the the uh the comparisons and people are
throwing in yeah overwatch cs go and then siege again is being also compared in that makes sense
it's hot um
steed siege does have the champions yeah but that's also what the modes of like breaking
walls and getting the hostage and shit right so well anyway we'll have to see what this turns
out to be but anyway this unexpected uh oh shit we didn't expect to have to announce it so soon
but here we do the thing is out there i would love for that to happen on the fighting game
and 5v5 10 characters at launch um there's a buy system that is like cs go cs buy system which
is apparently a big deal yeah buy system very much changes the round around the rich get richer
and the poor get poorer is that like um mobus yes right where you as you go you buy as you go
and do better you buy better yep okay
that's why the early rounds are so important
sounds like a like a key component to toxicity it does doesn't it
guy died the first guy who dies quit out in all of these is the one who lost the match
lost he killed us yeah ruined it i can't believe it got it okay well that's valorant
summer 2020
just leak the fighting game now please i really wish it went the other way and i really do but
you know it is what it is uh so yeah we talked about it but you know the f of 7
remake demos out this is now you can you can now um now you can speaking of remixes that
replace the original themes and this is not quite on that level but it's pretty high up there
you know clouds time is now it's pretty good yeah and uh i kind of hear those lyrics at least
distantly a little bit when i hear the f of 7 battle theme
really i don't think i've ever heard that version oh you need to hear it yeah okay send that send
that to me later John Cena yeah i know i'm it's not i don't i don't have the brain to do this
it's good okay i can't you can't do it okay it does it it does it they slam together it's pretty
good i can't do it i'm sorry well anyway uh brain no music goes it dropped it's there eight gigs
demo live i woke up and i was like oh that was that was my reaction that was a reenactment
of this morning i hope you all enjoyed it
not much to say besides it's out not much to say besides it's out people played it they're all
like yay it's good thank god thank god could you imagine man if it was just like people got hands
on like the general public and we're like oh no but i think we talked about like everything
they showed off so far though being like yeah well looked immaculate yeah like i'd be really
surprised if this didn't work out people they're describing it feeling like a a better kingdom
hearts look it looks fucking great which is what ff 15 should have played it looks looks
fucking great like i you know i'd be really shocked if it somehow wasn't for some reason
you know uh anyway so other fun stuff going on this week uh
apparently even though even though there was a bit of a uh a negative implication when
there when jp kellams responded to me telling people on no no it was a video we recorded
where i said hey remember how wonderful 101 was announced and it was like look at this
it's almost like it should it could be called beautiful world yeah i remember and i was like
it feels like it's almost out of the same world and then i thought i want to say someone like
tweeted that at him and he went aw guys come on don't do this despite that and i remember being
like oh well they're now referring wonderful 101 and beautiful joe as part of the same hero series
as the this is and the third game in the hero trilogy from kamiya is project gg but that doesn't
really tell you what you need to know here's what you need to know japan loves superheroes
beautiful joe loves common rider that's why he goes henshin and does the pose and has the scarf
wonderful 101 loves super sentai that's why you have the people who transform into a big thing
and they're all color coded and then this thing a fucking loves ultra man this is this is the
ultra man a regular guy turns into a much bigger guy protects the dog yes he does trailer
has a platinum logo drops their their their drops their slogan platinum maintains its
luster forever and then what is nature's revenge everyone is running a big ass kaiju
fucking stumbles into the streets wrath of the gods and then you see a building collapse and a dog
is stuck oh no with its leash under the rubble and it's a cute dog too who could save that dog
it's a fucking shiba inu which is the every dog it's the cutest dog yeah you're gonna fucking
stomp on a shiba inu that monster would and then the building's gonna fall on the dog
but then the hero arrives and he's got a helmet and he does a pose and he does a pose
and he becomes really big yes and then you see the kaiju and the hero run to face each other
you know it's kind of interesting because like when the man grows big to go face the kaiju
and then like the dog is protected but then it's like there's still rubble falling and that dog is
super not out of danger and the ultraman has a tendency to fuck up the city's fighting an angle
so that dog is totally not necessarily saved but hey hey hero of steel stand tall project gg
please save the dog project gg a go-go yeah
yeah
yeah hanshin is a cool word that i like
i like when the hero transforms into a better hero please be
please be a game where you obviously fight third person against the kaijus and have big
sick crazy boss battles uh-huh but when you're human-sized you can still have human-sized
boss battles yeah please be that and also i want like a movement rider thing going on
or like you're using your bicycle to like get around to do shit yeah and it's like save the
kitty from the tree fight the kaiju from space right help this old lady across the street
yeah defeat the eighth slumbering evil yeah that's right totally i want to say um
you know that you can almost think about like say scale bound where you had the big dragon
and then you had the on foot and you fought together like let there be two scales of battle
you know scales of battle i see what you did there that'd be safe do you see what kimia
said when he was being interviewed about what games he'd like to make after this so uh he had
a statement with this actual announcement where essentially he talks about the importance of this
project so i wanted to get it to that very important um they've been pretty much hinting at it for a
long time now but this is what they were talking about when they said we want to make our own ips
because platinum has made a ton of classic games that are beloved and amongst the best
action games in history and they own none of them and they own none of them every time someone says
make a sequel he's like we can't ask the people ask sega or tendo or ask whoever paid us to make
this thing yeah and yeah they've got fingers in all the pies right they're there they've got
their fucking metal gear franchise they've got their square enix franchise but no pie for themselves
they've got none of the things where they can control it infinite space maybe fuck that game
maybe that one anyway so the importance of project gg is that it is self-published and
developed so they can control and make it with full non-interference and it will be their grandest
failure yet economically oh my god it'll hurt the most because it's fully coming out of their
coffers well you know and ten cents coffee yeah you're gonna have to bring it up every time
we're gonna have to be yeah it's because it's it's that's what it is you know dreams are built
there's gonna be a podcast where we talk about 15 different games in the news and at the end
we're gonna realize that every single one of them is owned by ten cent or someone equally deplorable
yeah like ten penny
yeah can't do worse than that yeah like what if huawei just straight up starts making games
that didn't click in my head I did it's not it's not ringing bells by the way they make the
cell phones oh yeah they're evil they're the ones that are making the phones and they're also the
ones that are just like hey guys we sent a couple of business people to meet with other business
people around the world and while you're out there you fucking grab anything you can pieces of paper
give you a bonus usb sticks that grab data give you a fucking huge bonus the more you steal the more
you get I mean that's yeah that's admirable grab everything you can grab stuff it in your jacket
if you have to so you can manage to get back here with an honest to god employee you'll get promoted
smash and grab yeah hey see that new bendy flown see that phone that fucking bends on itself prototype
see the prototype that samsung phone put it in your ass you get to put it in your ass
hey guys check it out we got a bendy phone it fucking bends that's crazy you ever seen this
ship before yeah we started you ever seen this fucking shit yeah I did I have seen it yeah yeah
big corporate crimes seen it and that's not even getting into like by the way we're like
hyper spying on you yeah well it's it's a fucking oh don't worry about it don't worry about it
don't worry about it it's classified as a as a fucking security risk you're not allowed to own
the product if you work for the US government because it's literally might just be like hey
where are you going don't talk that camera on don't talk about your undercover operations
around the furby sir don't do it so you know that furby shit was hilarious you remember that
was some FBI agent because of the microphone had the was talking in their home about furbies and
the furby started fucking talking in public company about shit the furby wasn't supposed to know
anyway project gg I'm trying to say the word dildos around my phone a lot to see if it'll
if I get targeted dildo yes I mean so like it's been proven a couple times with diapers yeah
for me I've noticed it I've noticed it with um
what was it
there was something something a couple years back there was a there was a thing where
amazon or some grocery stores were like for a long time account holders they were like
recommending them like diapers and pregnancy products and they're like I'm not pregnant and
then it turns out they were pregnant and they're buying habits had changed to the point where the
algorithm kicked in and said they're probably pregnant fucking terrifying and it's like wow
yeah that's crazy yeah I mean some of that thanks Jeff Bezos I didn't know I was I was
packing heat well it's like it's much more it's it's much more uh it's not it's less scary what
it's just like hey did you click on this amazon link well now you're going to see that pop it
off did you click on pickles and peanut butter 35 times in the past day sure probably pregnant
yeah but the listening phone is the is the real scary you know if that's actually a thing you know
what I've started to do which there's been things disproving it which I you know you know what's
you know it's a fun thing to do though it takes a really long time mute every ad you see on twitter
if you mute every single ad you see on twitter the algorithm starts to break and they don't know
what to recommend to you anymore and it gets weirder and weirder and less of like applicable to you
and well I just turned off targeted that's shit anyway I don't know how to do that how do
there's a button that says like don't don't customize for me oh I should just do that yeah
but I want to get to the part where I'm getting like Turkish ads for like
like like hairspray yeah I've talked about it before but it's like the targeted ad thing
it's like it's fucking trash absolutely everywhere except for instagram and the targeted ads on
instagram get me every fucking time because dear god do they know me well there's one other place
that I know that our targeted ads work really well and that's the castle super beast podcast
hey because we know that all of you guys love all of our sponsors oh sure do
yeah it it's gotten me man pants I'm wearing right now we're fucking targeted
oh don't do that it is don't do that it is don't do that it happens that's bad
yeah gg good guy good games but anyway so alongside that came some other stuff and Kimia
was talking and doing interviews he's talking some crazy shit and uh he had some other things to say
so you had a one I had a I had another one what was what was the part people were like hey what
kind of games do you like to make would you like to make like a devil may cry game or whatever
and he's like I would love to make a devil may cry game I would love to make devil may cry zero
story of sparta which he said he just said devil may cry zero your brain did that shut up but what
he did shut up what he did say don't like though was Dante versus bayonetta Dante versus bayonetta
and then told everybody you hey go bug capcom send them emails and I was like
oh I was like
yeah there's something about that that like I don't know what that would be I know exactly what
that would be it would be a character action game where you played as one or the other and
they would use their own system and they would deal with the other characters enemy forces yeah
and the final boss would be the other character it would have to but no no it would know it would
have to start that way and then be cooperative as they as no final boss is the other character
you know how it goes dude it's the only thing that yaiba did right no it's not that at all
they're both good guys therefore it wouldn't it doesn't have to start that way but it would build
to that moment but then the true enemy is the cooperative thing they defeat together fuck that
you build that's where it goes if Dante versus bail happens there's one thing that needs to happen
it's following the rules of fucking jerk off fanfiction okay here's my jerk off fan fiction
you ready bayonetta needs to see Dante and she needs to hound on him like a creepy sex pervert
and he has to be freaked the fuck out and like ah would you like a pizza and run away
but he doesn't freak out and run away he actually goes haha you got spunk lady
because that's what they would do oh and he's just like an oblivious moron and he'd be like whoo
and she'd be like oh you're kind of whatever and then they'd do the thing but then they'd fight to
a stalemate yeah you know and she but it would not be a real stalemate it'd be like a laughing
stalemate yeah and then there'd be a real problem for them to solve yeah and then the the hijinks
ensue and then they realize their cousins well anyway um that's how that gets played out dude
you can't pretend it's gonna be anything not that you know but also
he also wanted to make scale bound still which is sad
like are there games that i want to see more than a brand new dmc cross bayonetta game
there actually are not many there actually are i guess like
i don't know i'm weird i cross overs used to be a very magical cool thing and then you
played namco x capcom well smash still exists it does right but like the cross overs were so rare
that it was like holy fuck yeah they're right and now with the existence of smash and kingdom hearts
and most certainly in amco x capcom there's a bit of a like yeah you know and there's also like
indie games that are pulling them all in there's fighting games that are grabbing guests you know
soul caliber is pulling in a bunch of folks like it really it's it's not as crazy holy
it's more of a like a oh fuck yeah that's cool we got 2b in in soul caliber that's awesome um
so to dedicate the full game to it i'm kind of like i want that sparta game more okay but but no
no but think about this and marvel is marvel but the crossover is still strong and think about this
right what if bao fought you know the demons and then dante fought the angels and you know
they swapped there but what if it's sunosan did the bao section and kimia san did the dante
section it's gonna be immaculate it doesn't it doesn't matter it's not it's not my point
it's gonna be immaculate if it exists and then virgil and john are like oh man they're so stupid
yeah and then they're sipping tea together yeah watching the stupid oh my god they totally be
sipping tea together oh my god they have they did they'd be sitting at a cafe he'd be reading his book
and she'd be like look at these idiots and he'd be like of course but that's not nearly be upset
that he got stuck with enzo yeah yeah yeah no whatever but like you know what i mean and like
and like like you can you can go through this exercise every time you grab two franchises
that like could blend together like when we did the star fox metroid thought process you know
that was weird and yeah that was really weird yeah and we're in the middle of the animal crossing
doom phase can we get something official please the twitter the twitter's are co-habitating
they're there it's going you know you have to wonder if nintendo is reaching out
duck bowser do do the thing do the thing down because like one collectible in doom and one
piece of furniture in animal crossing would do it yeah but maybe it's just me but it's like the
nature of the common crossover is not as elusive anymore yeah you're right so there is a bit of a
like yeah we just wrote the game you know what i mean like we just did it um and here's the other
bit let's say it never happens a fucking fan will make one and just throw it out there anyway
but shut the fuck up there will be there will be like a fan made version of that at some point
to answer all your questions right there's a little bit of um yeah we just we have a lot of
access to stuff now right like sure think about how awesome it's gonna be when dear god you
fuckers release playable virginal in dmc 5 but you know you can just go mod your pc copy well i
want i want to play with my toys and i want a new toy that is them and then i take them and they
kiss okay but do you want to play with psychokirby and sonic dot exe yeah as we eventually gather
together with captain america to defeat palpatine yeah yeah you know i do yeah i don't know what i'm
describing but it's certainly not like a lack of wanting to see that stuff exist it's just more of a
like new stuff is new stuff and or like what do i want to see more right the promise of something
new and rad um a place that we didn't go in a storyline that we love or a dedicated crossover
and it's like man crossover storylines are almost always terrible but the idea of it is cool
but then they kiss and then the interactions are cool yeah that's that's what we love we love the
interactions between the characters we love i really just want a tv show that's like capcom real
world like spend burn down the entire thing but keep um rocket raccoon liking ebony and ivory
in that moment yeah where dante tosses the guns over and he just knows what they are and he's like
these are cool guns i like them that you that's it that's all you're looking for really you're looking
for that moment that's like do you have to build a game around that moment yes you don't have to
but i want it but you know what i mean but i want it there is no nuance to this discussion because
it's literally i could go for something new and then people going but i want it though you're right
you're right i hope i hope i'm making some sense oh you totally are but it's like the the point of
view that you're putting out is reasonable and it's going against the lizard brain of but my
toys kiss because i feel like if there if there was one fight one cut scene with all the things
we described and then like one co-op jackpot moment you don't need a game you just need those three
things what what a bit but what about what about when when bao's fighting dante and she pulls out
the phantom summon and then dante laughs and just stingers it to death in one shot and he's like oh
yeah that's part of the fight it's part of the it's part of the fight all the pops it's yeah it's
an unlike death battle like in this case no one dies but then they come back because there's
already a death battle of that i know i saw i agree with this result
you know so uh you get to make don't have dante make british people jokes
because british people are hilarious because they talk stupid
yeah i said it what are you gonna do cheerios at me
see the real trouble is is what red grave means because uh is there not
yeah tante's lucas sorry dante is lucas dad because tony red grave is a fucking thing
red grave is a thing in both worlds yeah he's like actually son i i i lived and i'm just a dead
beat like my brother your girlfriend seems weird she seems a little too old for you
and it became the name of a city and then it became the name that he used to cover when he
ran into hiding anyway and then joker's there joker or joker joker and he's like hey mom joker
from persona joker yeah yeah okay he's like hey mom and she's like you run off to your
old persona schools but then why wouldn't joker also be there yeah why not but and you and now we
go you know and now he's like don't we live in a society and he's doing the dance on the staircase
see this see this is why people write fanfiction because the emotion that i'm feeling right now
hits them and they literally can't contain it they're like i have to make it happen
but all you want is that exact moment hey i just thought of something why isn't that fan fiction
is so fucking lame but a picture of the only moment you want in the fan fiction is cool well
if the art is nice then it's nice i think it's because it's art i think it's because art has
value and writing words is stupid what yeah well it's uh can i can argue that art has value and
writing words is stupid can't fight it there you there it is hard facts
that is exactly what i thought all writers are just mad that they're not better at drawing
that's right our writers are writers are artists like dentists are to doctors you're just
if you're a writer you're just a failed artist that's right you wish you could draw your ideas
but you can you have to tell people what they are there you go yeah that's the take
that's the use your own imagination because i'm too bad at drawing to show you
oh my god oh oh i feel it in my intestines holy shit
okay well
all right what else we got in the news nuclear takes i don't know i don't know that seems very
nuclear where's the lie where's the lie where's the lie why are you booing me i'm right uh so
so of course amongst all the things he was saying he did say that about the uh what do you
want to make and he's like i want to make all the things let but this one first let the companies
make me make the things and then he would make them this is the answer uh however the other thing he
said was uh and this is more direct to uh gg no not not at all he had something to say about
resident evil too what really yeah i was just a little goofy comment what was it wasn't big
they asked him hey you're the guy that directed resident evil too he did how do you feel about
the new one yeah and um he said there's some videos of me playing it somewhere but you have to know
that the director of re2's remake is a friend of mine we were co-workers we used to go out drinking
after work so before the game was announced he let me know who's intention to remake it
he asked if i had any recommendations or advice and i told him you're the designer it's up to you
that was smart i like that that was the last time we talked about it before it was released
after it was released he said holy shit this is really scary the next time i see him i'm
gonna ask him can you make some dlc that's a little less scary and maybe some cute zombies or
something so please make cute zombie dlc that's not gonna happen it's not the worst idea
yeah they did make misty in the original there's also that girl in the jail cell
that zombie in the basement i remember yeah i know that was weird maybe you're the one who
needs to go on interspecies reviewer fuck a zombie see once you tell me the goal yeah
i will i i can i again if the goal is to crash this ship to dry into dry land
and kill anyone who's left on board uh-huh and convince everyone to jump off before we hit the
credits yeah you can do that i don't think you can do that you can do that i don't think it is
possible to actually get everyone off the ship there's always one left there will always be one
person left steering okay well if you're if you get it down to one okay then that's a victory
that's acceptable yeah yeah then you can do it you can push everyone off until there's only one
person and that person will be really happy to still be on that ship they will they will they'll
be like wow but it can be done i didn't think this vacation would be so fulfilling i didn't think
anyone else wanted to go here or even knew about this location i didn't think anyone else wanted to
run aground but here we are yeah all right well anyway um death stranding's coming out for the
pc in june right uh yes on the second and too long afterwards good and uh as you can imagine
all that horizon zero dawn shit is fucking out of there yeah it is but instead they've replaced it
with half life okay so now you can get headcrabs on sam and a bunch of other half life shit
okay that's what's going on with death stranding on pc remember when anyone cared about half life
does it have no does it have no staying power no it had the game hasn't come out and
fucking forever fuck but what about the what about alex i said fuck him alex i said fuck him
they just announced a new one i don't care
i'm sad now when it comes back fuck you go to hell yeah when it comes back i don't
fucking i got no horse in this race when it comes back i'll hit you with my cane i got no dog in this
fight well anyway that's the one it goes to
also
there's that picture that kojima tweeted out of him sitting at a desk and everyone's
fucking trying to not trying to breathe yeah and getting their inhalers yeah hoping to god
that the secret messages are not implying that he's about to work on silent hill again
because i don't know if anyone is ready to go through that again
but i think the reason why they think it might be that is because
on his pencil there's a word that says pyramid yeah and then
he the word hills or silent was in the tweet so and then everyone starts reaching and it's like
oh god i no longer want silent hills i don't think after just stranding i don't think anyone does
because i think you were the one who phrased it that kojima is at war with the concept of subtlety
silent hill full frontal confrontation silent hill is it has like a subtlety to quality ratio
and it's a line
that being said i'll take it over anything else could konami would ever do with it
so i'll still be happy you know because pt was very spooky it's true let him make it and then
take the ending two three hours slice them off and just find a way for the last fight
to make sense when you when you stitch it back together did you know
that the s in hills stands for silent
well anyway
we talked about the f7 demo you can go grab that while you're at it you can also grab
immediately by the way you have 24 hours to try out the last chance trial for neo2
which people are putting in the time and it's got a full character creator guess what what's that
neo2 is fucking good yep it's neo2 i'll pick that up and then get mad at the inventory again and
then put it down it's quality of life the video game that's correct nothing but praise where the
fuck is elden ring this next gen that's the answer to that question that's not happening
yeah it's just cushioned tightly underneath georgia r martin's butt cheeks did you imagine
if an interview came out with me at zhakin he's like yeah we we've been ready to ship it the whole
time but martin just won't finish the story we've in fact finished the game we just haven't put any
text in yeah it's really bizarre he just won't do it
yep he's got to sit on it for a while
god damn it martin it's like from soft is like why does the script smell like farts
because he's trying to ovulate it and percolate the script he's trying to lay out a script
but it's poo there's some high-brow shit we're doing here on this podcast the castle super beast
podcast item descriptions are not going to be enough no i think i'm a dumb child because when
my brain goes but it poo though like i literally like it's funny it's funny speaking of not enough
all right you see these monster hunter movie posters yeah i've seen it i didn't know tony
jah was in it yeah i was like what's he up to he's in monster hunter apparently yeah i would
recommend people not go see this movie for a couple reasons um one of which is the is probably
going to be a trash fire do you not want to see the resident's eviling of the monster hunter franchise
i would but it's going to happen also they horribly fucked over one of the stunt ladies working on it
they did not have the proper safety precautions didn't someone die she did not die but she was
horribly injured and lost one of her arms and due to a fine print where they fucked her over they
essentially paid her nothing for her insurance so she's like broke oh was that the aftermath of that
yes so it was a it was a rig in which they were there it was a motorcycle scene where they were
driving towards the camera and they did not have the proper precautions to lift the camera up fast
enough and she like went right into it and one of her arms got cut off and then they fucked her
on the on the the deal with the insurance so yeah that movie is like bad like immoral bad
yeah well don't worry there will always be monster hunter two through seven
as paul w.s. anderson continues to imply his wife imply sorry employ but hey she's she's got the sword
it's no monster in that trip get the fucking will smith where are the monsters
where the monsters at uh the answer is rendering
because that was resident evil okay fine whatever it's the same fucking production
company and director and actors oh wait that was a resident evil story that was a resident evil
movie oh well fuck off you've already gone to see all of those no i haven't you were telling me about
the wesker fight yeah from the clip i saw during the rlm watch through
forgive me for assuming that you didn't i watched that you first three and then i was out oh excuse
me excuse me only the first three there's like eight
yeah
only the the initial trilogy don't don't use that word the initial
my bad you barely scratched the surface
ah my mistake how could i how could i be so foolish well then anyway uh monster hunter
in theater september fourth aka resident evil 11 yeah yeah it's a big biohazard you know that
movie's an isekai do you know that
i don't have any cash on me yeah but i would hold it up and hand it to you yeah and say go see this
movie or whatever the no no i would hand it to you and say
if this movie does not find a way to connect itself to resident evil the franchise by paul w s
anderson yeah in some way shape or form if not through there'll be a poster on the wall for the
umbrella if not through the idea of the umbrella corp yeah if not through the idea of time distance
yeah if not through the idea of this is fiction within the world
it'll be somewhere connected in some layer shape or form whether it's up down sideways
or four-dimensional uh give me my money back so i'm gonna i'm gonna go on a wild guess here
on a wild ass guess this is going to be a prequel the resident evil movies because the enemy monster
in this is going to be gormagala by the way the footage and script sheet leaked out a million
years ago the enemy monster is going to be called is gormagala it was the the the evil dragon looking
one from four the one that's purple and the hero monster that will help the heroes fight it will
be rathalos the gormagala does something where it infects people with a frenzy virus which makes
them extra crazy and i bet a character at the end of the movie will pick up a gormagala scale
and they'll have a little lab coat on and it'll slowly zoom in and they'll have a little umbrella
tag and they'll be like i bet we could do something with this
some kind of virus you're not no you're not you're not you're not making it work because it's
still in the same setting in world in the sense that the umbrella corp would have would exist in
this time frame that's what i'm saying no no no this would have to be what you're describing
would have to be the other way around this is the end of the resident evil world oh it goes
when resident evil the movie franchise goes post apocalyptic into the far flung future you know
they rolled that back right what are you talking about what back they rolled the post apocalypse
back there's a post apocalypse yes i don't do i don't know anything about that shit they destroyed
the whole world okay and then they then the alice woke up and multiple movies were just a dream
yeah i don't know what that means okay but here's what i'm saying like i didn't even know they
already went there that's crazy they did that all right well here's what we're here's what we're
doing now this poster with them standing on an empty fucking thing is the dead future of the no
that's not what that that's the monster hunting universe yeah they travel to through a portal
you know whatever it's everyone in humanity doesn't even know where they are anymore it's
that farf but the remnants of no i'm not exaggerating that is a different world they
travel to through a portal in the movie yes okay it is an isekai okay the main character is a human
guy who's like i am i'm descended from a race of hunters from the other world okay and rathalos
and monsters come through to the city okay through a fucking portal okay so the portal is there for
connected to resident evil world 100 percent yeah it's the modern day and monster hunter world okay
and in the modern day world there will be a guy with an umbrella left there will be yeah okay yep
yep there okay see that's what i thought you were saying in this dinosaur armor world no no someone
has an umbrella corp logo and i'm like what are you smoking that's why like the end of the game in
the end of the movie at the the destroyed skitties cityscape modern i'll pick up a scale and be like
oh i bet this will help us with the research on the two wires yeah i will i will put and i'll be
wesker cash fucking money on the connection and then you're like cool monster hunter and then it
zooms out and above it it says resident evil 12 i think like a way better reference is one that
susie found in the re3 footage where there's a poster that's a it's a robotic seminar and it's
like well robots take over in the future and it's no names but it's clearly dr light and
dr wiley going to speak at the seminar no no no that's like good good no no no no no no
so they solve this problem and then the franchise wraps up and then we hit let's say no three comes
out and everyone goes all right fuck off we're done with these and then four has to come but they
can't put a number on it because it's embarrassing right and the third one was already called monster
hunter try so so then the fourth movie drops and they're like well what are we what's what's
going on and then it's just another same generic thing but this time the portal gets closed and
it was too late though some dinosaurs did get through yeah and then a little a little person
a little girl with a gun goes my name is regina and i got to stop these dinosaurs
it's a crisis it's a crisis and then the fucking stinger hits and we roll out
and we roll out all right and paul w.s. anderson gets a scrooge mcduck of money
listen tube into his house i hate to break it to you but as somebody who is intimately familiar
with these properties resident evil and monster hunter rate dino crisis does not no but he wants
to keep it going nobody knows about dino crisis you keep it going when you combo one franchise
into another and capcom keeps making money on your movies they don't give a fuck they don't give a fuck
they absolutely let it happen
i mean it's either that or a man in a red coat walks on the frame and you don't want to go there
you're right i don't want to go so then you take what i'm gonna imagine a dmc movie in which
daunte is there and he he's about to kill a demon and like alice comes through and kills it first
and she gets the cool hero moment you ever see the second res evil movie i fucking it's like go
out of here go check out clips every time jill is about to do something cool alice will literally
run in front of her in the frame and do it for her all i know is she breaks through the church
glass window and everyone cheered you know it is what it is man and it's like oh shit the trailer
says my wife is back i mean there was an old interview milia's back for the third res evil
movie that i think i read an insight magazine insight yeah um way back uh and it was with paul
w s anderson and he was like do you guys remember that time in res evil apocalypse where uh alice
jumped through the church window on her motorcycle and killed the liquor and everyone in the theater
cheered and i went no because that's not real paul that didn't happen ever anywhere maybe in your
theater because you told them they had to or else you wouldn't get laid see the other problem is
whoever you cast if it's not ruben ruben is going to be really fucking pissed it would have to be
ruben it would have to be ruben but then it's not i don't i don't agree with this but this is the
problem i don't agree with this so that's why regina picks up the gun and goes it's a crisis
and then only i can stop it i know i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate why do you why do
you take such joy in this uh and you know what what she's played by millie and she's
got a wig on so the hair is different and she's like i gotta stop this crisis
this
man well anyway
and dino crisis three is what's that some clones of alice survived god damn
yeah there's it's a interesting dually it is that it like it it it's so it's very dumb
is what i'm telling you okay okay um well anyway beyond that there's two other things one very
poorly directed real quick yay congrats warframe you got into smash brothers in the form of a spirit
cover up those titties though it's lotus oh is that supposed to be lotus has a very low cut top
big old buxom yeah let me get a photo for you oh yeah they draped the tatters up they they they
they covered them up with a covert scarf
shit i grabbed a photo of this shit who's lotus anyway rebecca ford that's that's the spaceman
yeah she plays a character i don't understand i don't know anything about oh okay so i you're
not joking okay i don't know anything about warframe
yeah okay wow big old chest parter yeah that explains the jojo okay so back when back when
warframe that's a bruno hole back when um warframe was getting made uh they were
fucking broke so they had rebecca to the for the community manager do the voice of the main
mentor character the lotus oh wow i i know this is the warframe's spaceman oh so she's a character
in the game yep i thought she was just community community manager that she is also a character
in the game and does most of the mission dialogue voiceover well that would explain
also led to a very awkward moment where there's an ongoing thing in the storyline where rebecca
was at tenno con where she's like you guys want to save lotus or kill lotus and it was like 95
percent kill lotus okay and she's like fuck okay okay gotcha gotcha oh wow interesting huh so she's
like super the face of this game oh absolutely because she's in it she she runs their their
community uh she runs prime time which is the the talk yeah yeah i just thought it was like
yo good community manager that everyone knows because yeah so this this isn't lotus isn't
smashed this is rebecca for she got in a person wow smash that's cool yeah that's cool i didn't
know that okay and you covered up the tatters cut you gotta cover up fair enough do what you gotta do
okay that's a that's a jojo hole in that original version right there straight up um and last but
not least you know i mean this can we can drone on about it but what are you what are you gonna
what let's talk about the high republic keep talking the high republic was announced the
high republic is the new story era of star wars that has been um introduced and the first thing
they showed was a room full of writers and people and all these star wars folks sitting in the same
room going and then this and then that and then that and you're like okay that's a better way to
write a story than to just break it up and go you do this and you're locked in a room and you
don't know what's going on you don't talk to anybody and then they go you go to the next guy
and we go and you go you we don't know what that guy wrote yet but figure it out when he does make
it work so puzzle the pieces and jigsaw later and it's like oh no but hey um so the high republic
what is it it is an era that takes place ah what did they say 200 years before the the
older public stuff there's a word for this do you know what the word is uh andromeda
ah yeah okay we fucked it up okay let's go there's nowhere to go let's go back even earlier
we'll go forward or backward okay or sideways yeah so when when when ben drops that line saying hey
thousand years of the jedi guess what you have a lot of ground to cover actually wanted he says a
thousand generations yeah you're right but then in the prequel trilogy they say a thousand years
yeah okay okay generation is 40 years by the way yeah so that's great that's a big difference isn't
it humongous difference my brain always said thousand years yeah but it's not it's not a millennia
generation it's a thousand generations of the jedi well that is still infinite places to go
um and if you pick a spot in time and go brah this one here they're talking about it as a
frontier it's so stupid because star wars is such a gigantic setting it's a whole galaxy
and we've seen like what 18 planets it's not even that it's not even that right it's like
when do we get the wild departure from even the concept of a lightsaber right but when you go with
two when you go too far away from that it's not even fucking star wars anymore then like how you
get to sell that right because there still needs to be some semblance of the thing that people
signed up for for them to like if you don't have a laser sword i ain't getting on board it would be
hyper interesting to go psychotically different right with still keeping the ideas of planets in
the force but you'd never beg you should really continue this conversation after you finish cotor
two okay i'll do that because that goes the weirdest places of any star wars thing i'm
familiar with yeah yeah but like the ideas of like all the lost civilizations and technology
that look nothing like anything we've seen before no it's all blasters did in the realm of 40 000
years at least like a thousand years gives you a lot of time to play with it does if you take
it to 40k you go from warhammer to warhammer 40k yeah literally literally right so i've already
seen some pictures of like the original sith hanging out looking like space romans also the
original sith are like weird lizard people uh they're these red people that got they had there
there's some shit went wrong and stuff right and you know and i'm and i'm seeing all these things
of like yo check out the darth mall race before they fucking turned into that they used to look
like this and then there was a split you're like okay can we get a jellyfish with a lightsaber
can we do that can we get a hen are you but it's just like fucking just go keep just keep going
to do anything keep going so far back that you don't even recognize what you're looking at anymore
you know that being said like i like i couldn't have less faith in this
we'll see i guess we will i think the idea of the new frontier sounds interesting
depends on what they do with it depends on how it's handled what's it like being a Jedi it's a
bunch of frontier yeah it's a bunch of books this guy has tits on his head it's a bunch of books he
does have tits on his head also one of those books has like i think the book was like the light of the
Jedi and you're like you look at the book and you're like this smells like farts it does it smells
like pure righteous absolute like high holier than thou farts and the Jedi are peace the Jedi are
the way but you know i hope it explores things and goes places the night then the the the Nile i
believe they're called the villains of the frontier you can't take it all with you but we can take
it from you all right sure um anyway high prior public higher public that's where i'll take a
space marine over a jedi any day of the week space marine would fuck a jedi the fuck up
what is what is what does the force look like when introduced to like cultures that don't even know
what the fuck a light side or a dark side is it looks like moving rocks you know
what do you do with that how do you play that out explore it go places no the world has magic
woolly fuck off do you know how fucking like groundbreaking they thought putting a fucking
25 year old video game force power into the movie was that was fucking breaking new ground holy
shit force healing wow space magic without space religion what does it look like looks like a bunch
of dnd spells can we get tensors floating discs as a force power please so yeah hate bombs are a
thing yeah the higher public all right let's take one or two and let's take an email that was sent
in to castle super pieced mail at gmail.com that's castle super pieced mail at gmail.com
your email may be read on the air it might not be
it's probably won't be i'll be really honest it's all up to you
let's say this one from kyle says they're woolly rogan and pat Diaz i don't know who my
i don't know who i'm being referred to he's uh he's he's um he's making he's he's calling you
i think i'd imagine either nate or nick one of the one of the um one of them
them fighter man's that he that he hangs out with it's uh you know
all right so what's the question joey Diaz i'm an idiot i'm an idiot joey Diaz greatest
storyteller of all fucking time oh cool i tell a good story not as good as joey Diaz oh joey Diaz
is one of the greatest is he older than me he's an older man that i have time and he's like Joe
rogan you don't understand back in the day i was doing meth i fucking broke into this house
i was looking around that's not his chick she was hot she's like joey what the fuck you doing in my
house i was like ah shit so we banged all night and then i smoked up and i fucking went home
and then my mom beat my ass because what i was wow wait what what wait wait when is this story
taking place in the verses exactly that's what i'm saying right and you're like what are you doing
there's a guy i went down and we played the numbers i played the numbers for santeria you
know they just tell it is his story he's the greatest he's so good joey diaz is a fucking legend
so yeah that's that's who they that's who that man of course people are saying that impression is spot
on so good job i'll take that compliment thank you email writer monday morning cock suckers
you tell the world you someone's gonna suck my dick today
uh anyway um so here we go
dear woolly rogan and pat diaz uh been having this argument for with my friends for a couple
of couple of years now when any new game comes out and immediately um whenever whenever new
game comes out he immediately looks up exploits for god builds and follows youtube walkthroughs
and rushes through to the end i try to play blind as possible and build towards and gravitate
to whatever um his reasoning boils down to achievements and being god mode means he can
steamroll through to the end mine is i just like a personalized experience and learning on my own
wondering what your thoughts are in different playthroughs so we talked about this min likes
to min max he likes to crush it and then steamroll um by any means necessary i know you like to
find the optimal build as pre-determined so me just me determining an optimal build is not about
me getting the strongest character it's about taking the stress of making a bad character off
the back of my mind so that i can enjoy the game right so to me that's not so stressful at all i don't
care um but if there are things that can make the thing that i like cooler or better yeah then i'll
swerve them into the direction i'm heading anyway um you know with the with the i keep going back
to the example but it like it really is a standout of just like i'm like listen man i get that you
made this big bioshock 2 game but i just want to play as a big daddy i don't want to do anything
else in this game but be a big daddy now somebody like me might think that must have been the most
boring playthrough ever because you just used one move the whole game i was rineheart okay i had
so much fun i enjoyed it and i buffed myself around that so um you would have been a uh
wrench player in bioshock one if there's places for me to go but i played i played bioshock one
yeah and it was normal i just okay because the wrench you could do the same thing it's you just
wouldn't charge no my biggest bummer with bioshock one besides the fucking last part of that was the
part where they're like you're you're you know fucking spoiler for bioshock one you you become a
big daddy but nothing changes and it sucks and it sucks absolutely nothing changes and i was like
this is the worst i can't believe you'd let me down like this after fucking implying something nice
so anyway um god it sucks so much ass that last sequence uh now the problem and the difference
here is that the way i go about this type of thing is now different for me because of the
fact that i do lps yeah so the fact that there are uh there's an audience the fact that there's
people there's the fact that there's expectations and time matters and people also uh hate watching
things that like miss things and things like that there's um there's a there's a what i would call
a smoothness factor you want to hit you have to hit yeah and um like you know some people
definitely are like oh no i enjoy the mess but those people are unfortunately in the minority
in that way i get the i get what they're coming from they're also very nice they're also very nice
but you generally want to keep a smoothness factor going so that thing is something that
does not exist naturally within me when i'm playing and if i were to continue playing
a certain game for myself that was on an lp or something like that i would just
wing it fucking i'm gonna do it till it works and i would just play the game and stumble across the
world because i like that feeling and then when i encounter something that is like way up my alley
then i start leaning towards that right if there's a huge thing where someone's like oh dude you
missed a fucking world where they had all the cool shit you like and i'll be like all right well
going back gotta go do that yeah but for the most part i have no problem finding my way to the ending
and then like slight error corrections according to like what i find out on the way yeah you know
so a little bit of guidance here and there a little bit of like oh there's this or there's that
but i have i'm okay if i make it through and miss some amazing things that let's say i never
would have used or just you know i think a lot of this depends on the kinds of experiences you've
had in the games that you grew up with so two games that are really good examples of the opposite
ends of this are Fallout New Vegas and Baldur's Gate right they're both rpgs and they're both made
by mostly the same people in Fallout New Vegas you're mainly leveling up skills be it medicine
lockpicking sneaking yada yada and Baldur's Gate it is a a dnd 2.0 the difference between these is
the way that you play games willy is exactly the way i played new vegas when i started like i want
to be talky and i want to be sneaky and i like sniper rifles so i just happen to do those right
and it's fine and Baldur's Gate it is laughably trivially easy to make a really really bad character
not a suboptimal character like a fucking terrible character which will give you a hard time beating
the game like a really hard time beating the game okay right so like think of it's dnd imagine if you
would put it maybe imagine you didn't know shit and you put lots of strength onto your wizard yeah
right stuff like that so anybody who would play Baldur's Gate one or two which i do recommend
especially with the third one coming out go to game facts go read how to make a character
in dnd 2.0 because that shit is ancient and nobody knows innately how to do that
and i played a lot of games like that i played a lot of games where you could fuck yourself
but i played but but the difference is are you do you literally hit a point at which you cannot
beat the game or is it just this is if you if you roll your if you make a shitty enough character
it's probable it's pretty possible that you would be unable to beat Baldur's Gate's tutorial okay
because like wizards level one you get one to four hp and if you just rolled like shit
and put it all wrong you're not going to be able to kill an enemy before they hit you here's the
thought process though if a game introduces a concept to you that it says this is the basic
idea of what your character is going to be and then you do a tutorial that tells you about what
your goals are depending on your archetype for the most part if the game allows you to then
kind of like pick what you want blindly within the framework of the what it introduced to you
and then you hit income walls of like you cannot progress any further because you just
did not do the perfect thing that's like that's a failing design yes it is so that's why the
pillars games fight against that exact design idea by making stats that aren't so important
that you can't ruin your character outright so to me most of the games i've played like
have been games where like i can still enjoy that journey and as long as i kind of feel like
i'm building a character that's cool that i you know can i like i'm having fun playing as
then like i'm content to overcome whatever unexpected difficulties arise from having
that build providing that the game doesn't stop a good example what had been had you kept going
into the post game and iceborn with monster hunter the attitude of just doing whatever would
have stopped you eventually it would have it would have been like you're literally using no
skills on your armor and you're not putting it out oh yeah it would have stopped you at some
point remember teppen i didn't get to i couldn't get to champion with the deck of characters i
liked i needed to get to champion with a deck of characters that work characters that work yeah i
understand that i definitely get that part um but it's just to say that you know in direct
answering of this question when i pop in a new game and i'm not playing with anybody watching me
and time doesn't matter my enjoyment is just wandering through for me it depends on a lot
of factors because i've played games like that and i've played games not like that and it and it
depends a lot on like the game's first impression like when you create a character character creation
that's very in depth in terms of like stats and abilities tends to give me like a hard freeze if
if i just start a game and i'm playing and then like later you unlock the ability to earn skills
or whatever i'll just do whatever and i'll all ballpark it but the expectation of creating a
character correctly right out the gate fucks me up so uh here's the sad part about the world we
live in now um remember the discussion you and i had about snake eater with the end
that'll never happen again because that for me i had three different friends that all had
different out different ways that they got through that and that moment is kind of gone
why why what does that have to do with this i kind of think that like um
that was a moment where none of us knew how much variety there was to taking care of that part of
the game yeah and that too much information could have ruined it and i think that like now
it's pretty unlikely that you're gonna not know unless you do less unless you're playing through
it right on release yeah oh and you're not and you're and you're shutting out the outside world
right i've had that happen to me a couple not that but i've had some genuine unexpectedness
because i'm generally streaming games on release release and if there's something i'm really excited
for i try and burn through them as fast as possible so like re3 i'm expecting stuff like that because
i'm gonna i'm gonna hit that real hard but if you got an upgrade point and you didn't know
that a super shotgun was right around the corner and you spent that upgrade point
you'd feel pretty annoying usually what i usually what i do in that and in a game that
has something like that i wait for like a half hour and like have i not encountered anything
naturally it's probably far away oh interesting and then what if 32 minutes later then i go off
and then i then i mentally make note of how far apart those things were
and wait like five minutes longer later interesting okay yeah i i i'm i'm i'm okay you know i'm okay
like with the bumble um and then the eventual you know like we find our way you know you have
your way going through it but in some cases as we found as we find that like what i'm okay with
might be immensely annoying for people to watch so that kind of feeling i haven't had that in a
really long time because this version of playing games is now playing it live is a different piece
and this is now what i do most of the time so this has replaced my old way it reminds me of
when we were talking about percent of uh scramble yeah and it's like well it's not going in the
work schedule does it fit into the leisure schedule you know it probably doesn't so that's
where we're at that's where we're at yep all right that's a pod all right you see the you see the
the the brains that you can fuck it's not a foot it's like a brain we're going back here yeah we're
going back here as you fidget spin i'm fidget spinning i'll be honest i had this i had this
ready for the end of the podcast you walked in here with it in your pocket if you say that this
no no i'm talking about the brain thing when we're talking about fucking the fake feet i also
remembered a video i saw of brains that you could put your penis in all right well then fucking take
us out all right this fidget spinner is pretty fun dab there we go you all have a good night
we'll see you around next week at castlesuprise podcast
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so
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