Castle Super Beast - CSB 061: GameStop is a Sovereign Citizen
Episode Date: March 24, 2020Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Stop Game Stop. CBT to deal with your CBT. #PrayForReggie. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: Sco...tt Pilgrim VS. The World_ The Game - 01 - Scott Pilgrim Anthem Get Honey for FREE at http://joinhoney.com/superbeast.  Get 15% off your order at http://buyraycon.com/superbeast.  Become a member today by going to http://feals.com/superbeast and get 50% off your first order with free shipping! Fuck Gamestop Fuck Keywords Shinya Kumazaki, Eldritch Horror Artist F1 Is Cancelled, So Drivers Will Race Each Other In The Official Video Game Samurai Shodown PC news! ...It’s going to the Epic Game Store. So Kishimoto’s newest series, Samurai 8, ended today at only 43 chapters S.T.A.L.K.E.R. 2 first screenshot Guilty Gear: Strive adds Millia Rage, Zato-1 Sega launches 60th anniversary website, Segata Sanshiro-related announcement teased for March 25
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We need to hear a little of the playing part.
There is nothing like, damn, oh jeez, I was hiding a sneeze in my mustache the whole
time the intro was playing.
You suppressed it, good job.
Apparently there's a graphic displaying the different ways of containing sneezes and coughs
and it shows that, as suspected, the elbow dab containment is pretty effective, it drops
it straight down as opposed to shotgun spreading it.
I always felt that I understood the physical aspects of the containment, but going into
your shirt to be like nightmarish, I don't think I've ever done that once.
I've gone into my shirt many times, never for a Flemie one though, I go into my shirt
for a cough, I go into my shirt for a light sneeze, but you can tell when you got a big
bad one, in which case you got to figure something else out.
The idea of just like essentially wetting your nips with your sneeze is just gross.
But you know what, every other place it could go outside of a tissue paper is grosser, right?
That's the problem in some ways.
You don't want to start snarting up your chest, that's not a good time.
Don't snart your chest.
But coughing's fine.
And if you have to, if you get, if you feel the big sneeze coming, you know, yeah, you
can elbow it.
But anyway, the point remains is that if you put your hands in front of your face and just
try to just hand contain it, and nonsense, all you do is you turn it into a sawed off
shotgun.
Oh no.
Yeah.
You just, you take the concentrated, you know, buckshot and you just, you just spread
it.
You just spread it.
You also like blast your hands.
There's that too.
You deep fry it.
Essentially.
Yes.
And then your hand continues to be your interfacing tool with the world.
So there's that.
Yes.
You know.
Anyway, everyone's learning a lot.
The whole hand washing thing, did you see that video where it's like, you know how you've
been taught to wash your hands as a kid?
Yeah, that's right.
So all those little extra gestures that you do and state like that, all of that is really
actually it has a purpose.
And basically it was demonstrated by a dude with some gloves.
He puts a little bit of charcoal on it and then he does a normal, just basic two second
hand wash and shows you up.
That's just the palms, right?
So then he does the in between the finger shit and you're like, there gets the rest
and each time there's another step of that things you learned, the thing you learned
as a kid.
You see how it like it actually adds to completing the coverage of your entire hand.
So you have to do like each step to get each part of it.
Like the number one that the video showed off is like your thumbs somehow dodge almost
everything until you specifically hit your thumb.
Yeah.
So it's a nice little reminder of the thing that everyone already learned.
It just kind of explains visually that it's like, hey, you can see everywhere that goes
untouched by not doing the right moves.
So everyone learn your net and your Naruto 11 hand seals to avoid, you know, missing
any coverage when you do everything.
And it should be okay as long as you get all the steps in.
I want to say there's 11.
Right.
There you go.
I don't remember all of them.
I just do it until I probably do it for like a minute and try every single fucking thing
I can think of.
I don't remember any specific list.
Kakashi was trying to save you the whole time.
You got your individual fingers.
You got the upside down, upside on top of class.
I'll try to describe it properly.
Right.
So you have the first, which is the lather, the in between where your hands are in a
praying motion, right?
Then you've got the double hooks.
So you've got like the both of your hands are basically curving and interlocking with
each other.
Yeah.
Yes, but this contains exactly.
Then you've got the interlock with your palms facing each other.
Then you've got interlock with your palms facing away, interlock with your other palm
facing away.
Then you've got nails twisting.
So as if you're like, imagine there's a, like something in the palm center of your
palm that you're twisting a screw into a hole.
My favorite one is you make your fingers all into a little bunch and then you scrape your
palm and your nails with it.
That's exactly what I'm describing.
That's that's hard.
I'm on the audio delay.
It's tough.
It's okay.
And then you got the thumb twist, as you mentioned, and then you got the wrist twist, you know,
and you do all that twisting and then you yell, and you slam it into the wall and then
you see the skin start to peel and then you approach your brother in an angry fashion and
then you rip up the wall while you're doing it so that you look really cool.
And then he grabs you by the neck and he slams you against the wall and then memes happen.
I can't.
So anyway, it's so early in the morning.
It's not early in the morning at all, but it's really not.
I'll tell you one thing.
It's one of those days, man.
It's one of those days.
I swear to God.
It's one of those lives.
It's one of those lives.
Not every generation, not every life has the privilege of going through a pandemic.
And there's nothing like a pandemic to show you the true colors of some corporate faces.
That's right.
CBT is coming to guilty gear because that way, no, that's a different thing.
We're doing a different thing here.
There is really nothing.
There's really nothing quite like it.
Um, it's like, you know, it's one of those bits where like you kind of because we catch
these stories early in the week, you're able to yell at your phone loudly and like actually
type in angry like monitor and then you get and then you get a good night's sleep or two
and then you get to come talk about it a few days later.
So like, oh, yeah, it's kind of, you know, you so and so is really bad.
The initial reaction gets to like have a little bit of time on it.
You know, yeah, um, that the real, you know, I mean, whatever.
I've been I've been hot tweeting all week, but I saw one yesterday.
There's a couple.
There's a couple, you know, but really what it what it comes down to before we,
you know, crack into the individual stories of it is that, um, everyone has a little bit
of a deer and headlights effect, right?
You can't know, but you can't blame, um, people for not knowing what's going on, panicking
and making bad decisions or just completely underestimating what this was on the way in.
Right.
There's a whole lot of you can.
But the point remains is that it's a very human error to make to air is human, right?
So, um, it is a sympathetic mistake to make even if it's a stupid one.
All right.
When you are instructing others to go ahead as if it's no big deal or ultimately just
not caring or using a phrase like, Hey, it's day by day.
We'll take it day by day.
When you're using that kind of terminology, but you yourself are isolated in quarantines
because you know the risks.
It's not like you're stupidly leading your team into the to their damnation.
It's in fact, ordering those to run forward while you cower it out behind knowing what's
up.
It sounds like you've been playing doom eternal.
You are you are describing a real life bit that is actually hilariously on point for
the satirical company of the Union Aerospace Corporation Union Aerospace.
Yeah, that's right.
That's the UAC.
They open up.
They open up portals on Mars and shit.
They don't have the UAC now.
Now here's the bit, right?
The UAC at the end of the day, it ends up like at first you're like, what is this corporate
health scape?
And then you're like, well, it turns out that they're like, no, no, no bow to your devil
overlords.
You know, it's totally OK.
Don't don't fight them.
I mean, we got to get your body's got to keep like OK enough for study.
Make sure to turn your equipment off before you damage anything before that power drill
could fall down and damage other different equipment.
So that's really important shit, you know, that's that's like, yeah, there's too good
because there's all I'm trying to say is there's two flavors of it.
There's the completely stupid ignorance, right?
It's then it's the same thing with like, you know, all the people that are out there that
are getting yelled at by their by Italian mayors.
It's a great.
Oh, man.
What a great.
I saw that.
What a great stuff.
Oh, beautiful.
So beautiful.
There's all that, right?
But then there's those who are no and are being super duper evil, right?
And there you get to go, all right, history will remember history will remember that like
you didn't panic and do something stupid.
You calculated and did something fucking subhuman, you know, um, and yeah, you bet your ass that
GameStop is at the top of that list, right?
It is a staggering week of, uh, it's a crazy Newsweek and I completely agree with everything
that you're saying because there's a wild difference.
I didn't know what you were going for with like, we can't quite blame people for their
dumb mistakes, but I get it.
There's a difference between Italian guys playing ping pong by themselves on the beach
getting yelled at by a mayor yelling at them, go the fucking doors you morons and they're
like, Hey, I'm Italian.
I don't need, uh, right?
Because they're just dumbasses.
There's a difference between that and let's say, I don't know, lie to the cops and tell
them that you're essential and that when the cops try and arrest you, tell you, no,
people need these video games to live.
We've provided you with a piece of paper to tell you what to say when the cops show up.
Hello, law enforcement officer.
I see you have entered our GameStop.
Can I interest you in a Funko Pop?
No?
Okay.
Well, corporate here has a message for you.
We are sovereign citizens and we are not driving.
We are traveling and as sovereign citizens, we do not consent to any sort of arrests or
okay.
Wait, hold on.
What else does it say?
Um, uh, first your badge number, it's, it's, your badge number needs to be presented, sir,
sir.
Oh God.
Okay.
What is it?
Uh, hmm.
Um, well, I'm aware you have a dramatically increased legal powers during the event of
a global health emergency.
Just give me a second to get through my little speech, just flipping through the notes.
Uh, uh, oh God, jeez, oh man, I do not, I do not participate in the laws of this land.
I am merely, you're about to participate in them.
There's a GameStop is a sovereign citizen.
There's a, there's a real, there's a real perfect example of this on the individual
level, right?
Yeah.
And that's, uh, that lady that got arrested because she tested positive and went, fuck
you.
You can't make me not go out and the police went, the hell yes we can.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Someone's got, she got arrested, right?
Yeah.
So, so she got arrested, um, for being like, I'm not staying inside.
I heard about that.
Um, and you know, you have to imagine that it likely won't be like, oh, it depends on
where you are and where you live and how they handle things.
Some places are like, we're going to lock you the fuck up for the quarantine and maybe
not press charges.
Um, I heard, uh, or I either, I saw an infographic that displayed that in South Korea, a page
apparently the way they handle it is if you are, uh, tested positive, they then have you,
you know, you go into a quarantine area that's like the hospitals and it's, it's isolated,
right?
But they take your phone and then they actually use the, um, tower ping data to see where
you've been and anyone that's been in those areas is then alerted on their phones that
they were near somebody that had it and then those people are to quarantine and then they
also use that same ping, uh, tower ping data to, uh, if, to see that if you leave and go
out, then they will know that you're one of the people that they message that's supposed
to stay in and you're now moving around and now you're getting fined for $8,000.
Right.
Now let's, let's, let's all, you know, crazy that we're essentially all carrying around
little ankle bracelets in our pockets for fun, um, essentially, but, uh, for memes.
Uh, I'm, I'm a, I'm a big, uh, fan of the, I don't know if you saw, there's a province
in India that has gone with a distinctly old fashion approach to this, which is big fuck
stamp on your hand, uh, in permanent ass ink that says should not be outside until such
and such a date, which has led to big, big success as dudes are just found all over the
place, walking around with the essential do not open by definitely not right now at the
fuck are you doing outside asshole?
The brand will eventually come off, right?
Yeah.
After a certain amount of time, but it'll take, it'll take like longer than the court
longer than two weeks.
Well, here's the, there's a thing, right?
So that, that, that does a, that does something, right?
Cause some, there's assholes out there, um, but get out, unfortunately, that's one of
those things where by the time you see it, it's too late.
If you're already reading this, it's too late, right?
Yeah.
So you get to find out who's asked to beat upon seeing a very long stick with a very
long stick and like your most far, your furthest reaching normals.
But, uh, but I don't know, you know, but unfortunately that, that, that only shows you when
it's already up in your face and it's not quite the, he's moving, he's on the move.
Lock it down, lock it down, lock it down, you know.
So yeah, man, of course, there's the entire discussion about, you know, the difference
between, uh, um, rolling in the fucking tanks for, um, for martial law or, um, keeping it
voluntary and, you know, how this is technically like a pop culture podcast.
And I just had this moment of like, you guys just keep talking about, yeah, this is pop
culture now.
Get ready for the defining event of pop culture for the next, uh, 40 years.
And about that, what you're saying about the, the pretense to state of emergency, martial
law, yada, yada, yada, this is going to get a whole lot, this is going to get a whole
lot worse before it gets any better.
This is going to, this is going to go way worse.
Yeah.
No, we know that.
We know that.
Um, and, you know, the, the, the, the, one of the most useful things to know, two, two useful
things to know is one, like you can pretty much look to the, um, places that were ahead
of wherever you are to see the, the rates they're moving at to kind of tell what the
future is going to hold, you know?
So like China is like obviously flattening the curve with their aggressive China, China,
China's results, uh, reported by their national government always need to come with that big
fat asterisk.
Yes, they do on it.
Yes, they do is China numbers.
Yes, they do, but, um, that's, that's, that's, there's that, you know, and then
the, the other one, and, uh, those, uh, basically this, this thing that Steph showed
me where, um, it was kind of like the moment of confirmation on a report can be
misleading mentally because you assume that that's the moment your brain tends to
think that the moment you see that on the chart on a given date, that's the moment
that that data began to exist, but that's not, that's not the way to read it.
Right.
When you see the first death on something, that means that 20 days prior, that person
got it and wherever they got it, they also represent the one to 5% of another 99 to 95,
you know, just whenever they're like, uh, what were we at?
We're up to like 1200 or some shit in Canada.
Just assume that somewhere between 20 and 50,000 just fuck it.
Yeah.
So, which in a country of 37 million people is not currently nightmarish, but everyone
should be indoors listening to this podcast right now.
But yeah, you know, so that, that, that's how that escalates.
But that, but, uh, we'll get to, we'll get to, um, the funds, the funsies.
We'll get to the, the righteous furies, uh, whatever could you be upset about in a second?
Well, for now, we can just talk about our weeks.
Oh man.
So how's the, um, how's the ass imprinting underneath you right now?
I mean, we'd like to, we'd like to, to joke about, uh, like, oh man, we're staying so
much, a dude outside of, uh, Paige and I, mainly Paige cooking more often and she's talented
and, uh, not getting as much fresh air as I probably should.
There has been precious little change to my overall lifestyle.
That is the sad part, isn't it?
Yeah.
Um, I don't find that to be sad at all.
Well, it's, it's funny.
I think I was ahead of the curve for global disaster.
It's funny because, uh, same for me, right?
Very little change to any lifestyle.
Ultimately things more or less continue in the same sense that they, they did.
Um, but it is interesting seeing how, um, like punch mom, for example, is like, it's like,
hey, okay, uh, time for an online yoga class, time for, hey, look, there's a little kind
of group of people having a little concert over here and oh God, what, uh, you know,
the coop, the coop, the coop is starting to kick in.
There's a real, like, like sealing off, uh, the, the doors boarding up the windows, yada, yada,
uh, bunkering down, digging a deeper sub-basement into my basement, uh, is actually very relaxing
to me, but that's because I'm probably one of the most intense introverts I've ever met.
You, you, you go back and forth.
You extrovert and you introvert.
You can, you can.
Ambiverted, no problem.
Ambiverted.
And generally, generally by default, uh, because there's qualifiers, right?
Uh, I would, I would say I'm, I'm a not shy introvert most of the times,
but I can ambivert exactly.
Um, I would describe punched mom as a shy extrovert.
Okay.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Right.
You can actually, you can be one while still having the other there.
We're in this, uh, we're in this world.
We're in this world right now where it has been for, for, for what I would call the true
blue introvert, which is I just don't want to go outside and see other people at all.
Right.
I like just, just that's an unpleasant experience most of the time and other people
make me tired, right?
Which is about, I don't know, like a third to half of people.
It's been very difficult to explain to our extrovert extroverted, busy body, hyperactive
productivity focused people.
You know, the ones is like, well, I gotta hit the, the gym and then I, maybe I can squeeze
five minutes in for that cooking class and go down to the thing and the, you know, just every,
ah, do it, do it all, right?
And watching as I'm just like, do, do, do maternal, right?
And you go on the social media and you see people that are like, okay, oh, day four
of, uh, of being inside.
Yeah.
I'm, uh, I'm now performing skits with myself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
A bunch of dish rags.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Yes.
It, yeah, there is a, there is an absolute cabin fever.
Effect in place and it really does kind of, you know, that's why I'm saying it's funny
because you're looking back and I'm just like, yeah, man, uh, uh, this, my quarantine started
in, uh, 2019, like early.
Yeah.
So, yeah, it's, it, but it's like it got cold.
So it was cold outside.
Yeah.
But they're figuring it out.
They're figuring it out.
They're, they're going to eventually, you know, learn the ways of the, the, the, the indoor,
but there's a lot of that going on and there's also a lot of like, you know, um, just like
fucking, uh, emotional talk of kind of like, Hey, I know it's really hard, but take this time for
yourself and think about a lot of things that you otherwise wouldn't have.
And it's, it's such a weird thing to not be outside, but you know, you can use this time to,
to do you.
And it's just kind of like, yeah, just like it's not like, yeah, just get, you know, you'll,
you'll get used to it.
It seems ridiculous if you, if you don't spend time inside, but maybe just chill out, bro.
It'll, it'll be okay.
It'll be okay.
Yeah.
But woolly, what if being forced to stay indoors actually showcases to me that they're all my
business and pretenses of productivity.
I actually don't really have anything hobby or personality based in my entire life that
I define myself by my job or my productivity based activities or yada, yada.
Oh God.
Now, given a room and infinite time, I discovered that I have no brain in my head.
Yep.
Uh-oh.
Yep.
It's like, it's like looking into a 3D mirror.
It is, it is, it is a, a, you know, like everywhere you are, everywhere you go, there
you are in your house and as the, the, the precious minutes take away, you're, you're
super aware of all of that, you know.
And if there's like, I don't know anyone that you don't particularly enjoy being around
and you're kind of forced to be around them or things where you're like, hey, I didn't,
I didn't know this about my relationship.
Damn, we're learning shit today.
I have a friend of a friend who broke up with their boyfriend like five days before
they, this kicked off.
Damn.
And then like they were about to move, they were about to move out and they did not move
out in time together.
Oh, wow.
Oh, that's fuck.
Because it's, because it's like, well, finding a new place to live right now would be a real
fun endeavor, wouldn't it?
Yo, that's a fucking wake up.
That's some perspective.
So you just met, you just, you just grunt, you just dig down and bear it.
And you just, you know, this is not a dangerous situation.
It's just kind of a boring and shitty one.
So, um, but they don't, but they don't treat it like, well, we're just roommates.
They actually get back together.
No, it'd be too awkward otherwise.
Oh, wow.
That's crazy, man.
Mine, the whole thing reminds me of, uh, this, uh, you know, there, there's some folks out
there that are fairly lonely and are like, ah, darn, you guys with the fiance's and your GFs
and your BFs and all that and the quarantine, that must sound amazing.
And then you smash cut to like an old Italian couple, like murdering each other on a porch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cause you're just like unable to escape each other.
Garbage.
She's playing the recorder and it's terrible and he throws a bucket at her.
Yeah.
And it's just like, uh, you could do worse than be by yourself in these trying times.
That's not my heart will go on.
Um, yeah, no, the, the, of course.
And then there's the, the, the other side of the coin, which, uh, more or less consists
of, Hey, how comfortable are you spending time with yourself?
I hope the answer is very, I hope the answer is very.
Cause for those who the answer is not very, then like, yeah, that's another form of like,
uh, that's another trial that is unlocked.
So wait a second.
Am I boring?
No, perish the thought.
It's impossible.
I always have so much fun with my pals out on the town when we are drinking.
There is a problem, which is that like, um, due to not just like, yeah, of course, the, the,
the, like quarantining, but also due to like trying to stay up to date on what's going on,
screen time is through the fucking roof.
Yeah.
Screen time is, uh, cutting down on its service.
The bit rates are down.
Screen time is, is, is really way up there.
That's not what I was referring to.
I meant like, I meant eyeballs on your phone time.
Oh, yes.
And like iPhones tell you how long you've been staring.
They kind of give you, yeah, they give you a little report, uh, every week, I think.
And it's just like, hey, you spent X amount of hours and then here, here's the curve.
Oh God.
And it's, it's, it's a little bit like, um, yeah, I could probably look at other screens
besides this one, like you instead of thinking like, let me go sit and read a book.
It's like, no, no, let's just switch over to the other bigger screen.
Here we go.
Report 90% of waking hours spent staring at glowing rectangles by one of the onion.com.
Yeah.
That's a good new report finds it confusing that the vast majority of people spend most
of their time staring at glowing rectangles of various sizes.
Yep.
I feel called out by you.
Onion article from 2009.
Yeah.
Sometimes when I get too tight, when I get tired of my small rectangle, I switch over
to the big one, but then when I get tired of the big one, I switch over to the medium one.
That's a little bit further away.
I think I think the most absolute, absolute damning version of this behavior.
Absolute damning version of this behavior has occurred right here where I'm sitting.
Yeah.
I have a television in front of me, a little bit offset to my left.
I have a secondary monitor to my right, a little bit offset from the center.
And I have my telephone.
I have engaged in a process of I will be watching a TV show or anime or some
shit on my big TV, but I'll get bored for a second and I will pause it.
Then I will move the Twitter tab into my second monitor and shitpost on Twitter for a few
moments, at which point I go, oh, I need to take a break from shitposting.
All right, I'll pull out my phone and watch something on YouTube.
And I'm like, wait, why am I passing the baton between the fucking...
Continuing the sessions.
Yeah.
Like what am I doing?
Pat, I have eight glowing rectangles within my immediate vicinity.
One, two, three, four.
Okay, I got the computers.
I got the TV and I got the cell phone.
Okay.
What the hell are the other four?
One screen on my phone.
Two, laptop streaming.
Three, secondary screen set up for extended podcast purposes.
Four, audio laptop over to the side.
Five, wooly versus stream laptop sitting in front of the fucking couch.
Oh, that's a different thing.
Different thing entirely.
Laptop for the podcast is not laptop for the stream.
Six, television itself.
Seven, switch.
Switch is its own rectangle.
And eight.
I'm at four right now.
And eight, the fucking arcade cabinet right there.
Oh, yeah, that's not a screen.
It's curved.
Screens can't be curved.
You're crazy.
It's not curved.
It's a flat screen.
Oh, it is.
It's an LCD screen.
Yeah.
Why don't you blow up my bit?
Eight.
I had a bit going and you blew it up.
I'm the fucking, I'm serial experiments lane right over here.
All the rectangles.
I'm the beast from the anime X.
And do you want to get a curved screen?
I don't.
But did you see how you saw that phone?
You saw those phones where they have.
It's like, it's like, so we have the curved bendy ones that were like,
you know, trying to stolen and then we had the whole like Samsung version, right?
It's made out of a polymer or some shit.
And then there was the one where it bends so that it bends so that the screen is not
bending on itself in a sandwich.
But the other way so that the screen bends around it.
And it's like, everyone's like, oh, that's a cooler way to bend it.
That's a smarter thing to do.
And then now there's the one where you grab the screen and just stretch it out.
I don't understand that.
I don't understand it either because you don't see the I know.
I mean, I've never seen it.
So I have difficulty even understanding what you're telling the photo doesn't.
The video doesn't make a ton of sense because I think they edit the seams out.
But it looks like there's a screen hidden behind another screen.
And it looks like they're sliding one out from behind the other
to make a long extended screen stretch phone.
I don't.
Right.
I'm looking at a photo and I legitimately don't understand.
So you watch the video of it and it's like a scroll.
It's like you unroll a scroll, but it's so fucking weird.
And it looks like it's it's hard to get.
Like what what is actually occurring there?
You know, it's like, is it like I'm looking at the patents information
and it makes no sense.
Yeah, you got to you have to see the video of it.
It's very confusing.
Very.
I want to look at that video right now.
Black magic fuckery, I believe is LG's.
It's called the LG stretch.
LG stretch.
Yeah, I think that's the let me confirm if that's the one that I'm thinking of.
Wait, that's also a fucking.
That's also a TV.
I would like a stretch phone, please.
Show me a stretch of phone, Internet.
Let me see.
Oh, my God.
But I typed that into YouTube and I got a bunch of Fortnite results here.
I'm looking at the results for for LG stretch phone.
Don't in fact look like what I'm talking.
Curse curse you fucking Internet.
Anyway, it's it's something it's something
and it and you fucking you see the guys hands grab it and pull it out and it's just like
what is this future?
What are we looking at here?
That's not even like how is it doing that?
Anyway, whatever is my flying car?
God damn it.
You don't want that because then people will fly their cars into your house.
Stupid idiot moron drivers that don't know what they're doing can't handle a Z axis.
I mean, they can barely handle a fucking X axis.
Not only that, if they're not flying their cars into your house,
they're at least parking on your roof and possibly even blowing the sound of the
noise of the engine right outside your window.
You think car crashes are bad now?
Well, yeah, fucking imagine you add the Z axis to the situation.
I saw Harry Potter.
It doesn't seem that bad.
Ron was a child and they didn't die in that car wreck.
I guess technically it would be the Y axis.
Technically, that is true.
Anyway, um, bad.
Oh, yeah, because Z is you're always using Z when you drive or move bad bad.
You don't want it.
Okay, let's get the robot cars first.
Sure.
And then once we've sure once we switched over entirely to robot cars,
we can we can get the flying cars.
You don't do you don't want to walk into your fucking fourth story,
walk up apartment and see someone crashed through your living room,
trying to figure out what happened.
I was texting.
Don't die.
I was I was texting.
That's that sounds like that sounds like the start of a zany adventure.
The flying car, the flying car was fucking ruined for me.
So I have no problems passing that shit on to everybody else.
The notion is kind of horrifying when you think about it.
Anyway, I feel like we've kind of we hit that one before.
Well, we didn't remember ever complaining about fucking flying cars, but okay.
Yeah, we I feel like I was on a podcast that we talked about like the dangers of where that would
go and how bad it would get because you're putting even more complexity in the hands
of people that cannot like a not look at their phones and get distracted,
be in some cases not fucking drive drunk or see not be able to control their rage
when something bad happens and good old good old air rage.
Yeah, that's what we need.
Yeah.
So what happens with air rage now?
Do you want to get into an air fight?
No, you can't do that.
Well, you can't.
So then what comes next?
Can't talk about potentially serious future nonsense and then call it like,
oh, you want to get into an air fight?
Like I do now.
Well, no, what I'm saying, but like that the person sounds awesome.
The person that would otherwise want to get out of their car, stand on their feet and like
start swinging a crowbar at your at your vehicle and then at you now can no longer do that.
So they're forced to convert that air rage meter into dog fighting because there's nothing else
to do but dog fight in their flying car.
And when the dog fighting goes bad, right, when they start ramming up against you and
it doesn't work out, then I guess it's just time to fucking kamikaze.
See, you're selling it.
You're selling it too hard.
It's it's it's too cool the way you're saying it.
You're essentially talking about the sky future of air piracy.
So it's like so that's too good.
The cars are built with an interlocking function that allows two flying cars to lock together
and fly at the same speed and then both drivers can stand on top of their cars and do get out
and fight on top of the car and oh wow.
You know and it doesn't it goes without saying what happens to the loser.
It's a long way down these but the Victor these two these two cars are totally smooth.
I feel like it could battle you here all day.
I know right but the victor now has two flying cars and they've got tied together.
I'll just send just send the loser car towards the sun.
I'm sure that'll be fine.
This is the flying car future we've built.
If you and then and then the the champion of your block the neighborhood fucking
the neighborhood fucking warlord will have multiple flying cars all like attached together
like a flying stage or platform and he will have his own he will have his own battalion.
And if you do this shit if those who wish terrible those who do not get out of the way
there is a man standing on a flying boss stage that are multiple cars attached together
with his hands out going come all challengers.
Bring me your best.
You're like I hate this we can't have flying cars it was ruined and then you proceed to
describe the coolest potential use for flying cars and now I now I want flying cars one dude
the boss standing on top of his flying stage made of all the cars of those he's vanquished
and yours will join.
Oh wow that guy's got a lot of cars and if you defeat him turns out there were there
were all cars that he stole from old people they should have got out of the way it's impressive
they should have got out of the way you know like you just build a sky carrier
out of that shit anyway anyway that's that's what that's the that's the future we're
heading for if we don't be careful we got to be real careful.
Wait we have to be careful to avoid that?
No we got to be careful to make sure that's where we end up we got to swerve it.
Okay I've convinced myself in my own conversation that we need to get here.
Oh crap.
All right so I'm looking at this full squishy phone video that I found and I still don't get it.
I'm looking at a video of the fucking thing.
I told you it makes no sense.
I legitimately still don't understand it.
Yeah it's very confusing.
I feel super stupid.
It's very confusing.
Hey do you think for your learner's permit you're going to have to fight on the back of a
normal car on the ground and like if you get you know before you get you before you sky fight
before sky battles you got to start with ground battles so you got to fight someone
on the top of a couple of cars that are driving next to each other.
Does that mean like by default only 40% of applicants are going to be able to like get to
ascend to sky battle status?
That's how you become the elite.
That's a pretty fucking gigantic call right on stage one.
All the more delicious the rewards if you surpass all those who dare challenge you.
Stare away to heaven bro.
My brain is fried dude.
Like that the me saying nice was the best thing I could come up with.
I got like two hours this is stupid.
That's fine that's fine.
Now whenever you say 30 this morning and I was like oh well fuck.
Whenever you feel like taking on uh I don't know Omega weapon uh there is a trucker out there
who's got the equivalent of a dreadnought under his feet.
As they say he was born in his cab.
He was born in the sky.
Yes they delivered him on the way to the hospital in a flying car.
The truckers the truckers are a whole other world.
This truckers never put his foot on the earth.
He knows not its sweet delights.
He only knows sky battle.
Yeah no okay all right I changed my mind.
We need to ensure this future.
We need to lock it in and confirm it.
I'll talk to a friend and ask him how the robot cars are going.
And then then then we can get to the the fucking sky cars.
You know what the bad hey think about it man.
The the best one of the best parts is like the disease can only live
lower to the ground.
The higher altitude you get the better off things are.
So you can just elevate.
Elevate above the to a certain altitude.
And and become new types.
What is this some fucking coronavirus fucking knock off a water world.
Called Sky World.
It's not it's not the worst idea.
Do you remember 12,000 AD?
Uh no.
Chrono trigger.
There we go.
Wait a second.
That place went to shit.
Well you know listen zeal was it was pretty cool until it went to shit.
And on premise.
Zeal was also an absolute monarchy.
So I'm just like oh yeah but yeah it's floating in the sky.
It's floating in the sky bro.
You can't trust anybody as king or like divine king or queen.
Unless it's me.
I got you guys.
So if you just want to write in a little pamphlet.
Corona trigger.
Oh dear.
Oh well anyway.
I gotta tell you man.
It's been it's been real awkward because like I feel like every game that I play.
I'm like the games are like mocking me with pandemic language.
But they were all made right before this.
So like starting off that RE3 demo which came out.
Yep.
It's like the very very first line is like the infected are everywhere in the city.
Could I possibly make it out.
And it's like it's it's not that bad yet Jill.
Yeah someone dropped an RE3 reference on the except they changed the words to covid.
And I was like I don't like I could tell something was being referenced.
But I didn't know what it was.
And it was a very like why do you do this to me.
Oh it's a what it's it's it's it's I have nothing for you.
It's Jill's opening RE3 monologue.
It's supposed to be like the monsters have overtaken the city.
But somehow I'm still alive.
And you change like two words in there.
And you're like oh Jesus fuck.
Yeah but no it's like if I started dropping fucking galactic heroes
like quotes and trivia on you it's like what are you what are you supposed to do with that.
You know so I don't know it was like it was very it was like what.
And that but anyway I've seen some gifts.
I've seen some gifts of the the tyrant.
No nemesis nemesis tyrants Mr. X nemesis.
Okay so let okay we're going to go through we're going to go through.
We don't have to we don't have to.
It's it'll take it'll take 10 seconds.
Okay okay tyrant is the monster type.
Yep right it's also the name of the first one.
Yep after that individuals get specific names.
Yes okay so Mr. X is a fan name for a tyrant 103.
Or 103 nemesis is a code name for a special tyrant etc.
Okay so so when people but when people when something for example when I'm playing Marvel 2
and the tyrant shows up right yeah that's referring to the first one.
That's referring to the first one which was just tyrant.
Yes okay and then he became so it's not just it's not just a type it also refers to that one.
Yeah he well he's the T002.
Okay but that's the clarifier is that it's it is a yeah and Birkin it is a class
but it is also referring to a specific one.
Yeah Birkin also depending on where you like what figure you're looking at can
be referred to as like the G tyrant.
For fuck's sake woolly how do you not know things about the game you've never played.
You did play RE2 though.
Not three.
Yeah I don't know I don't know what I don't know anything about the nemesis.
There's two tyrants in RE2.
Yeah there's the there's the there's the Birkin one right and then there's the Mr. X.
That's right.
All right.
Hand on the head emotes.
How does he not know he's never played it why wouldn't he know.
Guys so so I saw the video of wait a second nemesis was in Marvel 3.
Nemesis was in Marvel 3 yes.
So how the fuck did you not remember the name of that character.
Well I don't know which one is in RE3.
I was just throwing out I'm like one of the names I've heard over the years.
So wait wait wait when you were playing Marvel 3 you were like nemesis from one of the RE games
one two or three.
Oh okay okay see that's really bizarre because the name of Resident Evil 3 is literally Resident
Evil 3 nemesis and that means you somehow dodged that for like 20 years.
No I knew that I just forgot it right now because I it's not like I don't you know it's like yeah
now that you say that RE3 nemesis I'm like yeah true that is the subtitle.
I've seen that a million times but it's not it's not a piece of it's not a piece of information
in fucking Japan it's last escape.
Yeah it's not a piece of information I've committed because I didn't play it but now
that you say that I'm like oh yeah that's true like Devil May Cry 3 is Dante's Awakening that's
right yes true but you know.
No the official subtitle Special Edition.
Special Edition true there you go yes.
You know it'd be awesome.
What's up.
If Devil May Cry 6 came out and they just called it Devil May Cry 6 Special Edition day one.
Day one that would be pretty yeah that would be pretty funny it'd be nice it'd be nice.
You'd leave no room for the actual SE but hey you know as long as a.
Super Special Edition if it had the features that you would expect of a Special Edition
I would not even I wouldn't bat an eye at that.
So I would I would love for yeah you know the way that works is if the game lies to you
and it's like let's say if it's Devil May Cry 5 and it came Devil May Cry 5 Special Edition came
out and it was day one and it's like you unlock the ability to play as Lady and Trish you're like
oh my god that's crazy and then the game literally says in big text you have unlocked all the
characters and then you beat it on DMD and you unlock Virgil and it goes nah man just kidding
you also unlocked Virgil we lied it was a lie for fun.
Yeah yeah so I remember the I remember Nemesis in Marvel 3 as we're describing it now and he's got
the the BDSM looking leathery outfit and he's got the yeah he's covered in like a leather strap
thing going on and has the mouth all exposed in the rocket launcher whereas and the tentacles
yep whereas in Marvel 2 it was just a big old fucking big shoulder claw thing with no clothes
on it was a it was a big shoulder it was a big man and he had a one big hand yes and he had exposed
heart yes and that's yeah that's what I recall you know also there was some there so there was
definitely a there's some all of that was covered in dark side and and dark side chronicles and
umbrella chronicles but I don't fucking remember there's also two hours of my life ten years ago
that you never got to see because it was only in the original RE2 which one which oh shit
oh excuse me that's what I get for petting the cat right before starting so you remember
you remember obviously mr. x from the Resident Evil I do right in the limit I'm gonna send you a
photo here in original RE2 when it when he gets all fucked up by flame instead of just getting
all mangled and getting one claw that that's that doesn't work hold on let me let me get a
decent screenshot for you he becomes the super tyrant here's a screenshot for you and gets like
way bigger and two claw let me see if I can take a look at this
send it to you in discord yeah I assume so oh oh okay and it's a whole other boss fight
yeah so he has like a like he lifts like he puts his hand down and does a dash
which is a lot faster in the old games than the new ones okay yeah I wouldn't have been able to
tell the difference between this and the other one well the one shoulder is not as big and he
does have the face right as opposed to the other the face where the anyway anyway whatever um that's
uh was it a cool fight did the did I miss out on that yeah it was really cool okay the reason the
reason why uh he looks so different in two where he's just got the one mangled big arm is to make
him look way more like the guy from one uh because we're likely not gonna see this treatment given
to one right hmm I feel like three was like almost a foregone conclusion when two was successful
but one is you don't need to my primary um introduction to or my primary feelings about a
lot of resident evil content are currently attached to their tepid cards
this is just what you know what that's probably fine yep this is this is what's happening so I saw
the video of two things I saw one a carnival area where um Nemesis just drops in and starts booking
it at Jill oh you got to see the run uh I don't know it was just it was just a fucking like people
are posting shit you know so I saw that no no I mean like his his dad yeah yeah he just he just
at the the person and I was like oh shit that's going like twice your run speed yeah um it's it's
pretty impossible to not see tons of stuff when something new comes out it is what it is you
know but um so I saw that and then I saw uh Dongry posted uh like a perfect roll kind of
sit thing where they use point blank with the swings and rolled and then slowed down time
like a witch time dodge that's right and basically it was overlaid with bayonetta music
and like can't touch me and and then opening fire so so what we're what we're talking about
for those of you who kind of zoned out or didn't quite pick it up the resident evil three demo came
out Nemesis is very aggressive but more importantly than that there is so the original game had a dodge
right and the problem with the dodge is that it sucks shit and it was a hundred percent
unreliable because it didn't have a dedicated button it was uh aim right when something's
about to hit you and 99 percent of the time you would just aim and you would get fucking hit
but then other times you would dodge and you would always dodge in like a random direction
and you would dodge into a worse problem that's so weird that it would be overlapped on the same
button considering there was a there was a free button on the re2 remake that that uh well in the
original re3 there were like there were no free buttons everything was it was needed yeah okay
but uh the free button so they they have changed the big the big big change here is that our one
is dodge and if you hit dodge somewhere around i don't know 10 to 20 frames of a damage incoming
you will do a roll there will be a white flash on the screen and if you happen to aim you will
lock on to an enemy's weak point for multiple seconds and and be able to just black and if
you're if you're too early you just do a normal dodge you do a normal dodge which has zero invincibility
of any kind is it a swift movement oh absolutely it's still useful but like you you can you can
perfect dodge into things like towards zombies and you'll do a little roll past them but if you were
to try and just regular dodge into a zombie they'll just bite you no iframes yeah okay yeah it's
fascinating because like re3 back in 99 added the dodge uh you can you were able to mash out
to take less damage from attacks and uh those are both here now and in fact in uh remake and
re2 make you had the defensive items like jama grenade in a zombie space that mechanic is gone
now oh you don't have a push off uh sacrifice item because you shouldn't be getting grabbed in the
first place okay but if you do get grabbed perfect permanent dodge but if you do get grabbed you
can mash and it reduces damage yeah hmm i like sacrificing an item i like that that that feels
like a like a steep punishment for fucking up just uh just just perfectly dodge man come on no no
i'm talking about if you fuck up right oh yeah mashing versus uh sacrificing something i kind of
on paper i prefer the former but then again how much is the mashing actually uh like help
a little a little um yeah i think well i was i think it's a better punishment to lose something
i don't know because it's it's like having defensive items and the dodge would have been
busted right right right right after a couple runs through that demo like it's it's really
interesting because they keep the same gameplay system right it's the same over the shoulder it's
the same you know shoot the zombie move the same movement's the same but the addition of that job
that uh that dodge means that your character is just laughably more capable against any number
of zombies yeah then leon or claire were here's the other thing i'm thinking about um i don't know
what the areas of this game look like but if they were the same as let's say the police station
that dodge is not going to help you in really close hallways uh it's it's weird because re3 was
in this weird it was in one of those cultural nightmare amalgams in which they were like this
is a small midwestern american city and you're like no it's not this is a japanese alleyway
city with american signs painted onto shit right like the layout in the original re3 is like
absolutely like osaka but it's america though right so there's some open spaces and some tight
spaces yeah whereas here now they've they've gone for like a they've they've changed a lot more in
three than they have in two and it kind of looks like a like a neon uptown seattle that makes any
sense and but there are like much wider areas like it's it's much much much more common that
you'll be on like a regular two lane street with wreckage here or there and like five dudes wandering
around um and one of the other things that i remember is you have your dodge but you also have
you remember aiming and waiting for the reticle to close in yes with leon and claire jill because
she's a fucking super cop that reticle closes super fast no matter what guy by comparison yeah okay and
if you get a laser sight it basically closes almost instantly okay and i got a laser sight and the
close time for the handgun becomes one second like just one okay it's it's perfect and i was looking
at it and go you know what i get it i understand if they were to do for there's a progression here
there's the rookies who take forever to shoot and can't dodge there's the stars members who are
super cops that shoot quickly accurately and can dodge and then if you were to move a little bit
forward in time you would have the professional who can has a perfect laser sight can dodge easily
and can suplex priests with the push of a button like there's a there's a really obvious
like trend so you can okay okay okay by fitting it into the canon so so leon the veteran becomes
like the professional god or or i or okay but wait though what about uh i mean what about
chris the veteran and cheva the the newbie cheva's not a newbie that that was one of the weirdest
things they did with her character is like she's brand new and then you're talking to her and she's
like bio weapons killed my parents i've actually been in multiple africa get based reasonable games
you never saw chris oh oh it's like a single it's like a single throwaway line
where she goes i was actually in resident evil 2.5 and 3.5 african town okay
but that now is not the time to talk about it maybe yeah same thing with josh maybe some other
day she says as she looks at the camera yeah and the answer is no no other day ever no please
fill out the cheva the cheva um popularity poll let us know cheva's great she's fantastic
but it's like is she spin off into her own game fantastic uh maybe i'd be down i have no complaints
well hey you want to hear you want to hear something awful resident evil is the long time
series of oh man that character's great are they gonna get their own game no of course not
rebecca got one and now we're never gonna get one ever again after that well why not uh why not
a collection of short stories about all those characters well they did that with revelations
but then gave us like 80 percent of the cast is who a jackass this guy's name is jackass
all right wait revelations is is not mostly new people revelations is uh jill and chris
as well as uh jackass and christ i forget the other guy's name i legit forget the other guy's name
okay uh and rachel and uh the the the fucking the bitch with the hair so new people
everyone besides the first two are new people uh what has there ever has have
this is a it seems it seems pretty obvious here but um
have claire and chris ever been together yeah that's what cvx is okay so okay you started you've
you've opened up the fucking folder now so the brother and sister actually do like are in the
same game at the same time once all right so this this is going to segue perfectly
and then we can we can do a circle back to re3 all right resident evil one is jill and chris
with uh barry and rebecca as assists and wesker's evil all right r2 is leon and claire re3 is jill
and carlos is there too i guess and barry shows up in the ending re4 is leon okay these this and
nobody else shows up and actually right yeah but i mean playable cvx is uh chris and uh claire
and it's like finally they found each other yeah and there's a single line in cvx that makes
like games later on super stupid uh and makes cvx super stupid so claire is like
i can't find my brother and she gets like super arrested and gone super umbrella jail and cvx
he says what she says i have to find my brother okay um i think i got the pronunciation on that
no no your voice cut out right as you as you said f so i i just heard i can't my brother
and i was like what hey man keep keep the redfields pure anyway um so all right so then we get
fucking uh revelations oh sorry in cvx there's a weird throwaway line of dialogue where uh claire
stuck on the island and after not being able to find chris for like a year now she just goes
hey i'll send leon an email and he can call chris to come to the island and then chris just shows
up the island and it's like wait what what yeah it's so weird the reason she got arrested going
in an umbrella facility or whatever is she couldn't find chris but then when you're on the on the
island she'll just be like oh i'll just email leon and he'll tell chris and it's like but you
the fucking this game is trash anyway okay you got zero with rebecca and billy which as far as
i'm concerned died they both died in that game uh the team doesn't like rebecca or at least uh
shunji mikami never did and billy is like pure side character that character was built to die
like he's too cool he's got the handcuff on his hand he's got the blue wife beater
uh uh but and here's where it gets really done in re six you have that huge cast whatever sherry's
there is playable which is great uh she grew up uh and chris and leon meet for the first time
and you i don't know if you remember but in the trailers that they get in a little they get a
little punchy kicky fight and it's literally the first time we've ever seen leon and chris
the two leading men ever interact and they talk for about five minutes and um never ever interact
ever again and the the thing you saw in the trailer was it that was the whole thing and
and like they act like they've already hung out but they haven't oh no it's the dragon ball problem
and like audience time is not character time and then like there's all there's all sorts of
really bizarre shit where characters are talking about each other like like sherry will talk like
oh claire or whatever or oh and it's like has sherry like like they run into like does sherry
know who chris even is are the cg movies canon uh yes with a noise yes they unfortunately are
they're they're they're no they're canon okay they are they're soft canon they're canon until
until somebody stops them essentially so there's there's canon and there's
yeah now i'm gonna be real as somebody who spent a lot of time with a lot of resident evil games
resident evil has the worst long-running story ever
every thread that ever came up except for one went nowhere like almost every single game goes
oh man it was really so and so but oh man oh jeez right i assumed and it's always dropped i assumed
that it they just that they all lazily led back to wesker who was the deal of this world who was
fucking spending every day in five places laying down plot mines for the future no
i assumed that much it is it is so that's what because you played five and that's what five tells
you five literally tells you wesker was behind it all and it's like no he wasn't so like wesker
becoming like a like a fucking x-man villain is is the most baffling change to a character ever
in re1 wesker is so stupid that most of the cast laughs at him when he unveils his plan
in original re1 chris is like like he's like crying laughing at wesker's stupid plan not
bad voice acting and wesker is like stop it stop laughing at me like he's super lame
and then he gets killed like a super lame bitch i see like he like he goes oh the tyrant's so
amazing and the tyrant just stabs him and it's like well that was it for wesker like he was he
was nobody but then he fell down the thing and then he took the stuff and then he became real big
well okay so actually this is like a million it's like a million cases well actually level
five x factor he planned to uh get stabbed like that because it would unlock the virus that he
had been taking for a long time yes there you go but actually it's because he was a superhuman
raised from birth in a secret project yes and there were actually 13 weskers what
yes wait what
yeah uh-huh
oh my god okay so in re5 near the end there's a there's a fucking there's a list of names
and and and it is like albert wesker alex wesker albert wesker joe wesker sammy wesker
and they were all part of the superhuman squad so i was gonna make a joke earlier about wesker
becoming cars on the volcano uh-huh and then he just became cars uh-huh wow and so the one thread
they never dropped is in re5 you get a little thing where uh they go uh spencer who's the original
big bad goes uh alex will handle it right and then alex wesker uh is a wesker sister and is
the primary antagonist of revelations too and apparently all the other ones died but um there
was there was a there was a in cvx there was a thread where uh fucking uh weskers like ah who
cares about umbrella i'm working for a new company now and you flash forward to re4 which is like six
months later and he's like i have to get the plagus to resurrect umbrella and it's like what the
fucking what are you guys talking about the fucking you all talking about and then in six
do you know who you know what the you want to fucking run a wild guess about who the evil
evil fucking terror group in fucking six is called the sons of wesker fanboy club it's neo umbrella
the resident evil is stupid a concept that is never explained once in the 45 hours you play
re6 in this shit is dumb oh don't forget about re7's blue umbrella
no you want to hear the dumb you know how you like jake i do like jake if you beat all four
of resident evil six's campaigns you get a super secret double super secret ending
and it's jake in the middle east being a cool guy and like like literally like
daunting into the distance as the new main character for resident evil going forward
and it's like i mean listen at the end of the day people like shooting zombies and
you can make a whole lot of money if every couple years you make a new shoot the zombies game
that's right but what happens behind the shooting of the zombies doesn't have to
be that complicated i remember i remember in like a million years ago it was either an interview
with makami or it was a um like a design diary thing and they're like re4 starts and his umbrella's
done right gone right and it like invalidates stuff that had just happened in in other games
and it's like what's up with that and i think the answer from makami was who gives a shit
okay like who who fucking cares you know why the story exists here so that i can make a cool new monster
man that's it shut up the sons of sparta being umbrella babies
like it's a long way away i want to point well i want to point out sons of sparta being
umbrella babies is is what that thread is what i was just talking about with west right
that's where it went yeah it it went there instead yeah yeah yeah
oh man well you know okay that's uh hey hey video games are hard and hey you don't have to
worry about adding that shit because re3 is before any of that shit got super stupid
you know the other dude now this looks so great you know the other problem is that um
franchises tend to in many often cases have a problem where the first villain is the most
influential and leaves the greatest impact on everybody and then you can never really get
out of their shadow yeah and uh those that do i mean fucking kudos and and and good for those
franchises but like you know any game where it's like yeah but it always leads back to ganondorf
though you know exactly yeah you know what it is bowser i i think i think resignable has the worst
of both worlds because they did get away from wesker right but then they they got stuck in a
thing where every villain has to be all of the prior villains so wesker was the schemer yeah right
and then berkin was the mutant right berkin was the the scientist that turned himself into a monster
and then you got mr x who's also into who's like the pursuer right
and that's all resin evils got like they they mix and match yeah here and there no one ever really
dies i mean you get every game like and so you get you get you get to re5 and onwards in which
you get characters that like they're the schemer until they get caught and then they turn into
the flesh beast i remember that guy and then they're like ha ha i'm a gooping bag of flesh this was
my plan all along it was oh man it's gonna be so good is that what you wanted yeah okay well uh in
aries it are in re6 is is the worst it's ever been on every level um but the the main antagonist
like everything about i don't even know where to start everything about re6 is garbage i finally
beat all of it i beat a this campaign which is by far the worst campaign but before i had never
beaten it back in the day uh if i could just put bookmark there for one second before i forget
one of the weirdest things for me as uh an outsider is to know about um final fantasy one
and the garland first boss last boss like oh shit reveal and then like now later hearing about
games where the country of garlandia or the garlandian people or something like that garlamald
and garlian yeah yeah yeah and you're like wait like so that that villain set became a thing that
was a became a peep a race in a nation no no no no no no no no no it is it is purely a naming
convention reference it's not actually that they're the descendants of garland
no man i didn't i have no idea i mean isn't a a sequel to final fantasy one but that's why i'm
like when i saw i saw that name thing i was like wait there's there's like connections really are you
are you losing your mind since when have final fancies aside from some horrible exceptions well
that's why i ever that's why the premise of what i'm saying is that i was confused
mm-hmm because i uh uh you know ivelis is a cont is a continuity ivelis is shared by a
couple of different games now yeah but there's two different evilies well the uh wait tactics
and 14 and or uh 12 no what anyway the judges show up right the games with the judges are
they're the same judges right isn't that it no no okay i fall fancy just builds up stuff and
if it gets really popular they just use that stuff again damn i i really don't know but
all i'm saying is i saw garland garland garland rated related names and i was like is there a
are they going off the first boss thing is that what that is didn't you play ff9 there was a garland
in that game too oh okay so um yeah man there's garland's all over okay so it's just a name
reference yeah okay because this guy from ff1 that guy was evil right but it's not actually
direct reference in any way okay no like like the the judge design is based like all the judges
they're the the core judge design is based off of garland from one's look okay of like armored
man with like a evil helmet and all that shit like so it's kind of like a sid showing up in every
game yeah right the only thing the only one that's different is gilgamesh who is the fourth wall
character oh who is like he's he shows up in five and then he literally falls through a portal
into nine and then jumps through a portal into eight and then goes and hangs out and is called
greg in 14 yeah no dude seriously he held the brand just is like he's like hey i'm gilgamesh
oh no gilgamesh gregg he literally goes my my name is g i mean greg greg oh that is i hate that
that is aw cool greg's a cool guy wow okay okay um now why are people saying ff7 and ff10 are in
the same universe because they are google are ff7 and ff10 in the same universe uh so okay here's
okay you want you want a deep dive on final fantasy no this is a misconception among the fan base
in an ultimania kazushige nojima the scenario designer for seven and ten toyed with the idea
of the two being connected however he later yeah this is a guy named uh separate interview that this
was never meant to be taken seriously yeah um so in in final fantasy canon like for real ass canon
it is a multiverse uh it is like a like a like every every fucking uh game happens in the same
large scale universe but they're all planets they're all they're all far off far away planets
a long time ago a friend of mine told me that the crystals are the shared element
in every game i mean that's a shared thematic element
uh desidia is canon yeah i see you guys talking yeah and also uh in almost every game shinryu
is a space dragon like it is a it is it is a dragon that came from a different planet
also anything that happens in the live stream stays in the live stream well the live stream is a
seven specific thing yeah but it leads to other fucking worlds and universes so you can just
nah man that's the that's the infinite what's it called i still haven't seen season three of
castlevania but uh apparently there is a a fucking catch all thing in there called the infinite
corridor okay yeah which uh is going to probably going to be their their crossover anime location
um that honestly it's a brilliant marketing move to have your protagonist fall into some sort of
rift for a moment and then fall back out just so that you create an area for all uh crossovers
to become canon all your soul caliber cameos can become canon in that one moment oh man
i totally fell into the live stream and and now i'm playing desidia which one the good one do a
desim not the new one and then when cloud came out he forgot about all the friends he made in
different universes well you know as part of the part of the deal they made with saura in order to
safeguard their hearts the point is is that more more franchises than you think
have the worst long-running stories um i know i'm one of those idiots who who dived super
deep on resident evil early before it became ridiculously bad and it went from like unironically
enjoying to ironically enjoying at some point yeah like you go from like i know the model
number of the net tune yay to why did they even have sharks in that in that testing facility
where did the sharks live before they broke out of containment
what yeah no you gotta you gotta you gotta respect these these um these connected universe
hustles i think i've i've mentioned it before but uh one of my favorite being uh turn a Gundam
where there is literally an attempt to connect all of Gundam together in the form that seems
terrible and it's a i love i love turn a i really do um and like you know that seems
terrible but they are straight up like these little things they drop there's a there's an
attempt that's made in the show right but beyond that attempt also there's the fact that you know
you've heard about like um uc and like ac and stuff like that like universe oh yeah universal
century and the other ones right exactly right so everyone's got there every every series has their
own uh timeline convention and you can kind of track what's what by that the timeline convention
in turn a is cc for correct century shut up yeah fuck off this is the correct century
it's that's terrible so sick it's the best it's the fucking best man anyway um you were saying
about where six goes six is so you know you beat all three of the campaigns and
after going through all of them in a row every campaign every campaign is worse than the last one
like if you go down the the the the order that they want you to which is leon chris jake aida
every campaign is is like way worse than the last oh there's an order you got to do it in
no that you can go into any order but i'm talking like on the title screen it's literally one two
three leon at the top and chris and then jake and then you unlock aida okay um and like i don't
want to go too deep into details on any old ones but the aida campaign i never did back in the day
because i played it for about a minute you know 10 minutes it was like fuck it i'm out i don't care
and then i looked up what the ending was and i was like i'm glad i did not play that and aida is the
only character in that game that can play by themselves like just aida no partner no whatever
and as a result almost every mechanic in the game starts to just fly to pieces because you'll get
downed but no one and no one's there to pick you up so you just crawl around for 40 seconds
oh they didn't change it for her no why would they change it she doesn't like stab herself
with a stim no oh that's really just crawl around on the floor that's really dumb wow okay and then
eventually you'll get it and then you get up on your own eventually and then a time an invisible
timer starts to run down or if you don't heal yourself within a certain amount of time you just
die so what ends up happening because because your partner is supposed to come over and give
you the stim to get you one pimp of health right so what happens is you're fighting and you get down
and you're like well i don't have any health and i'm gonna boss arena so what's gonna happen
is either the boss is gonna otg me and kill me instantly or i'm gonna
just crawl around for 45 seconds then get up and then bleed out 30 seconds later and there's
nothing so you get hit and you're like oh i'm gonna die and the only difference is whether
or not i'm gonna die now or in a minute and a half hmm and there's like it's you can't oh
can you it's so bad you could pot no you can't pause and heal you can't pause ever even though
this is the one campaign that's solo you can't pause no uh so like mechanically it's it's by far
the worst and the levels are all the shittiest like there's a mechanic where you have to defend
yourself against an infinite horde of of enemies but you also have to keep running to a keypad to
talk into it and if you hit the button to talk at it when you're far too far away the thing will go
oh voice not loud enough come closer and it's a horrible mess um but on top of that it is it is the
worst you know you know in the blanket reviews of like episode one he describes like it's hard
to watch a movie or take a story seriously when every single thing a character does you go huh
what why the big secret in re6 i'm gonna spoil it for you this game came out many years ago
is that the evil aida and the good aida are different people and that the entire game is
actually a lover's quarrel slash love triangle and that the main villain Simmons used stupid
biotech to forcibly change his girlfriend into a clone of aida because he loves aida so much
so much and then when you're in the final boss fight with him as aida that you can only get
he's like he's like yelling at her and he's like i made you you have to do what i tell you why won't
you love me and it is it is the worst ever but that's not even the good part that's not even
the good part because evil aida starts a bioterror attack on the whole planet everyone's like oh
aida's evil she's a bad lady right well aida is out there to be like oh no that wasn't me i'm
gonna help stop this bioterror outbreak or whatever and at the 90 percent mark when almost
everything is done and china like a major chinese city that i think it's supposed to be shanghai
or hong kong is like completely leveled and dead and a city of like a million people in the states
is nuked and all this stuff aida goes okay now to clean up and delete all evidence that my identity
was ever stolen and you go wait wait why would you go to the lab and the ending of her story is
her destroying the lab and burning it down why would you destroy all evidence that it was a clone
of you who committed millions of deaths instead of clearing your name like the like the final the
final like story objective is make sure the world blames you forever instead of karla who is the
real villain who you killed as a big goo monster make sure karla's okay and she doesn't get you
know smeared and it's like like why congratulations i am never playing re6 you should i am i am at
best going to just play the jake campaign just to find out more and then i'm the jake campaign
is terrible i i but at this i just want the mechanics of it i want to know the functions
and then i'm out and then i'm at willy i you know what hold on a second i want to i want to learn
the function solution for you and then i'm fucking out i have a solution for you okay i want to see
the gun katas and the cool moves and the may lays and then we're good uh where is it where is it
where is it where is it where is it wow that is looking for resing aggressively stupid it's it's
so bad dude holy shit that's terrible it's it's it's the worst and here's here's one of those other
threads you know how jake being the new hero didn't go anywhere yeah sure that's at some point during
the campaign simmons the the the evil mustache twirling kentucky man goes uh oh no i've been
injected with a virus i'm becoming a flesh beast and a dude in a suit in a helicopter
looks at him shakes his head and flies away and he goes no my family and family is capitalized
and then later when adis says we're up against the real people who rule this world the family
and it's like oh this was supposed to be the long-running future non umbrella illuminati threat
guess what no no nope no uh not huh i uh but if you download the re6 demo willy you can try
one half level from each character's campaign and get to feel how shit it is
i it's a little bit and jake has all his moves in it
i can't think of a single time um where the plot twist was clones and it wasn't a complete
dog shit train wreck haha it was me i was a clone
like i can't think of it's just the most like you you just copied people that's the twist
that's the twist i'm actually oh wait they're talking about metal gear in the chat but metal gear
uh but think about think about the times in metal gear where it was like we like the difference
between i suppose like where these weird fucking experiment kids right but i mean i'm talking about
like when the wool is pulled over your eyes because what you thought person a was actually person b
at no point do you think oh my god liquid and at a no point do you think liquid is you
but you definitely think solidus is big boss you do you definitely think venom is big boss
and guess what not great you know is a clone or a meme clone yeah yeah like if clones being
an element to the story is not is not what i'm talking about i'm saying when the surprise
that the person you thought was not was who they were is because of a clone that's when you go oh
my god right if the story is about clones of clones exist in your story as just a a a a piece
of content to the thing that there are clones around that's close clones around that's not
that's not at all what i'm talking about i mean specifically when it's the thing you didn't see
coming in the moment of whoa it wasn't that it was the clone oh my god well here's the in re6
is extra bad because like you'll have sequences in which um chris and pierce are like chasing evil
aida all to be here here after known as aida wrong um and she'll be like haha i'm evil and she's in
a blue dress with a red scarf and she'll run through a door and they'll follow her and then
they'll look a little far away and raida raida jesus aida is there with a like red shirt and leather
pants and this is like a difference of like 10 seconds and they're like it's aida shoot her and
it's like that that was obviously different people that that was like this keeps happening over
and over and over and over so mystery spy lady goes on to become the focal point
oh yeah hello aida aida wong is like the the the fucking hitler of resident evil
and she makes sure that she stays hitler
she makes sure well okay so with all that did you play arisa i mean i guess i thought like
like the impression i got was um that she was a bit of the racer x slash zero
you know that is what she is supposed to be actually that's the that's what i got um
and was this just a result of like the the the cap the popularity and untied loose ends or like
what the i don't understand did i talk to you about the design document on aida about why
they made her look the way she does in six last week no or the week before because i have i have
i have like a developer insight that will solve this conundrum for you uh that is uh leon is
like two years younger than aida right she is a little older than he is right leon is looking like
late era mission impossible tom cruise yes where he's like an older guy and he's got the
wrinkles and he's a little he's a little scroungy but he's still like a hot dude wait six eight is
like 45 yeah and six eight is like 45 and six um and if you go back in some design document or
some fucking uh you know the interview uh the the designer was like well aida wong should be about
45 uh pretty much the same age as leon and leon obviously looks older uh we thought about
making her look 45 but then we decided to make her pretty instead chenli yeah and it's like
okay yeah yeah there it is there it is in that same interview i think he goes on to talk about
like we made sure that sherry's berkin's hips were really wide and it's like all right calm down
guys everybody relax okay she's just putting on more makeup don't worry oh that you know what
actually i was wrong here's the here's the how why aida becomes so popular in aida sequences
sequences there is a weirdly disproportionate amount of uh areas where you have to crawl through
vents in a slow crawl motion something that you have to do for like an hour total in her
campaign that the other characters almost never have to do and the camera just zooms
right in there you go on that leather pan there you go hey man black don't crack but asian don't
crazen that's terrible do you did you come up with that now please tell me you come up with that
just now it is terrible okay because if you had that stock piled up i'd worry
i'd very worry because that's terrible that's just awful
oh boy well so all that being said hey man have you seen all the things nemesis can do
i saw the drop the run and i saw the bullet time dodge and uh that's that's about it okay so here
here's a here's a bunch of things nemesis can do he can grapple straight up into the sky away
like batman oh i did see people yelling grapple away yeah he can he can land in front of doorways
from a totally empty sky out of nowhere okay if i'm going on hold on hold on hold on hold on
i know his marvel 3 move list all right so maybe that can inform some guesses
all right hit me so uh he's got a big haymaker
um he a wall bounces uh he's got a big super jump that that stomps on top of you
yep uh he's got the tentacles that shoot out
mm-hmm and then he's got rocket launchers yep he's got all that grab mm-hmm yep
so here's here's some of the newer things right um he's able to there's one of the things where
basically he does this thing where if you get far enough away from him remember when you would lose
mr. x and you'd hear him stomp away in the background nemesis doesn't do that uh it appears
that once you get a certain distance away from him he disappears off the map like he teleports away
and then like two doors away from wherever you're going he will either jump down from the sky or like
spider man onto a wall and slide down with one hand like he's x uh and will always just
block your path like he will just show up and just be right in front of you
um on top of that he has a monster hunter roar but is it he literally roars at you and
it stuns you is he supposed to be a persistent encounter or is he supposed to be something
you deal with uh so it so the big difference in the original is that in re2 mr x was a rock
basically right he was a he was a moving wall right uh in it was like either run past him and
take one hit of damage or um what you can do is you can shoot him and hopefully you'll get the ammo
back from shooting him right in resident will remake two they pretty much did the same thing
except he also just kind of follows you around more right in the original re3 nemesis would show up
very similarly he'd show up for like discrete boss fights but there were a bunch of different
variations so it felt like he was chasing you more than mr x did and if you killed him
he would drop like super super fancy weapon upgrades instead of ammo like he would drop
like a better pistol and he would drop like parts for a better shotgun stuff like that
in re3 remake uh i played the demo like 10 times now so with mr x it was never shoot him ever
there's no point in shooting mr x ever just get around him if he's in your way go the other way
uh oh cat right in three make nemesis chases after you at like twice your speed so if he's in the
area you're in and you turn your back to him you're probably gonna get punched in the spine
and if you do lose him he will show up in front of you so it's supposed to be this thing of like
whereas uh for x it's avoid him with nemesis it like you cannot avoid fighting him ever
like you will fight him and he will still drop little supply well if you don't succeed your
waste if you fight and run then you're fucking wasting your your resources yeah he's also got
two different stuns he's got one where he takes a knee and then he's got one where he um where he uh
like he reaches for the sky and goes and then takes a bigger knee i guess you would call it and uh
when i was fucking around with it i found out that the regular like just down him a little bit
if you turn around and he leaves your camera he can break out of that instantly and tell
him to clue you to the floor as soon as you turn around or he can uh if you get like a couple feet
he can dash past you and end up in front of you okay like everything about the way they design
this thing is so that yeah you're gonna have to fight him but if you're sick on your dodges
you're gonna be fine yeah so i i got really lucky because i'm super good um and in the
first fight with nemesis on the demo um i figured out the timing on his punches and was able to
like perfect dodge perfect dodge perfect dodge perfect dodge and if you get them in you can kick
the shit out of him you can absolutely beat his ass up and down the street and it's awesome
and to counteract that they gave him another new mechanic which makes me think they're making
a risen evil 4 remake where when nemesis shows up zombies in the area will have been tentacalized
or whatever and they will have big gross mouth alien heads with super long tentacles that go
up and will swing at you if you're far one away from them and they look just like las plagas
and the those zombies i can't i they appear to do no damage like i i've got i've got bit by a
bunch on purpose they don't seem to do any damage what they do have is a really really really long
bite animation that gives time for nemesis to run up and punch you right okay so you get primed yeah
yeah like and he can punch you out of it too like he can punch you out of the other enemies bite
animation so when does the game actually drop uh april's third okay
it's great well it no i don't know that for sure yet but for all intents and purposes
it looks like it's gonna be i had a question it's gonna be great a while ago i was here
just uh are zombies the exact same but it behaviorally uh yes and in fact most of the
models are the same as well okay so uh you just have they'll have added a couple but yeah there's
zombies okay so with better um with the dodge button now like you do have the ability to style
on them yeah so it's uh same zombies have her wider opener areas and way way more of them
okay way more of them uh the average zombie per room in the re3 demo is like three or four
huh yeah that's a lot and the the the the street areas which are like have like 10 yeah that's a lot
okay you remember the you're at the very beginning of receivable to uh when you like the the cars
burning and you have to run yeah i'm in there everywhere it's that but play it for real okay
don't just ignore it yeah it's like it's a lot
oh that game's gonna be so good i'm always still scarce
no okay because uh re3 was the one that invented the gunpowder mechanic
um so uh at least in the demo you get a shit ton of ammo i i foresee getting a ton of ammo
in re3 uh remake where like like basically how do i put this the amount of ammunition you get
in a reasonable game even though survival horror is usually dependent on the total amount of enemies
right there is always enough ammo to kill every single enemy plus about 20 percent
because no one most people don't find all of it and most people waste a bunch of it right so since
re3 has like twice as many enemies it'll probably have about twice as much ammo
um okay interesting that game's gonna be great you play any animal crossing
i'm trying not to play animal crossing right now
because everybody get mad at me when i when i play video games on the podcast but i want to
i want to go down and and fucking tend to my orchard down in blivania
you can tend to your orchard when we're done
you've been playing any any animal crossing i have not been playing animal crossing but
i did i did uh get um i got new leaf for uh for punch mom on her uh 2ds so she's been playing
the other one the older one um but no i i did not uh i didn't i've bounced off of all of them so
so i you know i'm i'm someone that's uh i i i i i definitely i get the gist i get the deal and uh
uh i um it's i'm enjoying the her having fun with it but it's definitely something i'm
pissed off of on every attempt so probably the weirdest thing is that i never played
animal crossing and i never got it like i genuinely just didn't understand and every time i asked
people so what's the deal with animal crossing they would go oh it's like a fun relaxing game
like the explanations were all really kind of vague and ephemeral and not very convincing
and i was like this must be one of those stupid games for babies uh and now that i've been playing
it um i can confirm that it is a stupid game for babies however i am a big baby yes and find
animal crossing very relaxing yeah so the the thing that the thing that um is often i guess like
absent in the uh please explain this to me conversation is the living clock
right the living clock is a really important aspect that is often you know lost over but
it's the checking in in real time to see what the town is up to in parallel with the real time outside
whether it be day or night and the activities being you know time um locked to certain things
like that's a big part of like why you know it's a it's a little check-in see what's happening and
check out kind of games so i definitely get that stuff um but yeah like for example my museum opened
at five am this morning and i was super stoked to check out the woolly mammoth and austral
politicus bones that i had discovered like and that museum is really nice you get your
actually getting your bells yeah man i got some bells right just tom i paid off my house loan
in a single day it's good and then i ended up with a bigger house loan i was gonna say tom nook's not
around the corner peeking at your not tom's really cool man windows i don't know what i've
problem is i think i i think that's why you're running the why you're running isabel why you're
running i think the memory around tom nook as the evil landlord is kind of hilarious yeah
because i think it's basically defined by how old you are when you encounter him
um if you encounter him as a young person it's like he's like oh you want a bigger house all
right give me lots of money ha ha ha ha ha right you're like damn you tom nook but as an adult
he's like hey man i'll give you a 200 grand interest free loan that you can pay back whenever
zero interest it's cool yeah yeah yeah yeah totally and and as an adult you're like damn dude
that's fucking lit that's super great i wish my mortgage was zero i guess my mortgage is zero
right now but but so yeah tom's great as he slams the cell phone on the ground and breaks his
skateboard i um i do i do definitely appreciate the you know the the the the memes of the week
coming out of animal crossing in general i think my favorite one so far is a guy jumping over a river
and he has painted guile on the other side of the river wow in a in a crouching down back
and the tweet is be careful where you jump on my island there's a what of uh someone's just like so
i went to go visit my boyfriend's island and it's just a plane landing and then like right before
it hits the airport you just see the character holding up a sign that just says horror
like yeah that's great that's great um and of course man of course all the uh all the doom
overlap overlap there you go it's not an overlap it's an overlap that's terrible it's great your
words are bad it's great so animal crossing is great hey hey you want to talk about doom animals
okay woolly you beat doom 2016 right how would you like that a whole lot
how would you like that with air dashing and more character action uh that sounds like it's
straight up crack drugs to my veins it is crack drugs it is so then why are there so many uh
threads and or tweets that are like i have some thoughts about doom eternal as opposed to just
yo this shit is fucking rad there's a whole lot of and i haven't clicked on any of them
because i'm properly trying to dodge right because i'll get around to it but there's i'm seeing
divisiveness and i guess some what i have to interpret are possibly mixed feelings because
uh i'm seeing a lot of happiness and praise but there's a not insignificant number of
i have some feelings i don't know all right i can i can break this down for you and i think it's
probably the best way to go through it because did you like doom 2016 unless you fall unless you
fall into the categories that i am about to tell you you'll love doom eternal okay uh stage one
let's call it the the elie problem the plague problem doom eternal adds a new mechanic to its
repertoire and that is platforming um a lot of platform there was a little bit of platform
and work 16 no i'm talking you are double jumping onto swing rails which will launch you forward
and then you will double dash towards a climbable wall and then you will jump off the climbable wall
to double jump onto a higher platform okay because hell was a whole lot of platforming in 16 okay
let me let me sum it up to you in a single image there are floating orbs that recharge your dash
that you have to dash yep okay so like that kind of platforming gotcha and there's a lot
there's a lot of it um if you hate that shit that sucks i don't hate that shit because there's
a lot i love that shit yeah i also love that shit right the other thing is that celeste in doom 2016
i would say the doom 2016 was a really actiony shooter but it was still at its core a first
person shooter right yes it was the main thing was that it would the glory kills was like run
towards enemies instead of away from them right um with doom eternal adding a uh air dash that can go
twice in a row in any direction um they have made a situation where there are enemies that are fast
or will lock on to you with missiles or stuff and it's like uh like what you know the revenant this
yeah the skeletons with the with the rocket launchers they will lock on you when they fire
and if you don't double jump a double dump fuck if you don't double jump or uh dash take it the
missiles will not break the lock yes yes so you have to keep moving also the ammunition for your
guns is almost nothing but the chainsaw recharges on its own oh so it's like oh shit so chainsaw
is on x right yeah that's where reload yeah so chainsaw is just a fancy reload well no reload is on
r1 i'm what isn't r1 reload and what doom no no no no no never mind the sorry what do you mean
when you say reload in in uh your average first person in your average first person shooter
that's where the button goes okay yeah sorry sorry sorry square no no no sorry i got confused
right never mind um right uh so here it's a chainsaw and you chainsaw imps or grunts to get your ammo
back because when you start the game vanquish only holds like 12 shots vanquish brain oh you're
thinking of vanquish don't worry like your shotgun only holds like 12 shots like your your assault
rifle only holds 60 bullets so you're like out so it's this thing where you're double jumping
you're double dashing around your shooting a grunt just enough that it goes to the glory state
then you heal up then you'll light a guy behind you on fire and chainsaw him to get health and armor
and um enemies do a ton of damage like a lot of damage you can die super fast but you're able
to heal yourself and get your ammo back really quickly so this one is a character action game
it's just in first person the beautiful fucking beautiful it's just in first person and it's more
about a slinger than it is free yeah if you survive long enough and you can just fucking uh
gas all the way up but like do you have enough pips of gas to deal with anything there are three
pips the fur it's deus x rules where the first pip will regen on its own it takes one pip to to
fucking chainsaw grunts grunts zombies and it is three pips to kill anything above that
okay so the chainsaw on big boys is very rare okay but um uh i saw people were talking about
like the difference between uh hurt me plenty and ultra violence is difficulty and the damage
doesn't change all that much and the enemy aggressiveness doesn't change all that much
the biggest change is that on the harder difficulties there are less grunts
because grunts are health and ammo and armor pickups uh that's good there are health ammo and
armor pickups around right right right but most of your recharge is inside the baby enemies
so um so you said like you don't yeah oh sorry after you no no it was it was a completely
different thing go ahead okay like you know how in most uh games you would uh go and say i'm
gonna get all the small fry first then all the second guys and then i'll focus on the big guy
right yeah uh and you could even do that in doom 2016 here you can't do that if you kill
like first of all the grunts will often respawn infinitely uh but they're not very dangerous at
all whereas the higher level demons like a caca demon or an arachnotron or cyber demon or whatever
they'll kill you in like a second and you're basically double jumping and air dashing and
sprinting around so fast that none of the little guys could ever touch you so you need to kill the
big one now or you'll never live through it now you casually just said a word earlier
and i just want to underline it did you say wall jump yeah it's it's not the wall jump you're
thinking of it's uh you you it's climbable walls like you you like magnet onto a wall and you
can climb and then you can turn around and jump off of that oh okay it's not an uh like a mechanic
to jump off of walls no okay fuck me because that would that would probably work like shit in
first unless it instant 180 to you yeah but the game's already moving so fucking fast or you do
a mirror's edge where you have a 180 button but yeah and you uh what the fuck what are we doing
yeah the the game uh the other thing that they did is that uh there's hard counters on the weapons
now so uh you know how the shotgun has a grenade launcher in doom 2016 in eternal if you are a
launcher at a sorry go ahead go ahead yeah it has a grenade launcher or the auto shotgun um
in uh eternal if you fire a grenade uh lob at a caca demon it will eat it and instantly
take enough damage to uh be glory kill okay okay if you use the sniper attachment on the
assault rifle you can shoot off the uh guns off of a revenant and then just becomes a skeleton
whoa okay so specific encounter like uh like enemies have hard counters yeah yeah there's
matchups there's like one like the the rail gun equivalent does more damage to enemies that are
flying okay like stuff like that okay um and as a result you like in doom 2016 i hit this point
where i'm like i got my super shotgun i got my rockets and i got my uh chain gun
don't need the rest of you like you know i just but i just don't need a little bit right gouse bouse
yeah that one was good too but you know what i mean like you you you you settled into like a
into a groove here it's like okay well there's a caca demon right there so i'm just gonna launch
a grenade at it and then i'm gonna switch to arbalest to uh one shot the pain elemental and
then i'm gonna switch to the sniper to shoot off the enact arachnotron's gun um and then i'm gonna
switch to the rocket launcher so that i can lock on to the imps that teleport and then i'm gonna switch
to the super shotgun to fight the marauder because it's easiest to counter him with that and so on
and so forth pat i don't think you understand use a lot more of your arsenal a lot more often yeah
no so switching up is is is lots of fun when you're in a room with tons of different enemies so that
i love that that's encouraged that sounds pretty fucking sick uh i i it's important to note that
you can kill anything with anything yes yeah it's just like certain weapons will do it but like i
lived in siege mode you know like i fucking i i built a house and and and raised it to the ground
all in siege mode it was it was a blast so so siege so there is an entire class of enemies so the
hellbearans the hell knights the dread knights right the the bigger big dudes uh and they will
sprint at you non-stop and the number one use of the chaingun is that it hits them so many times
a second that it will stagger them and they cannot chase right right right right right and you know
so on and so forth it's it's it's great it's just great so like what i'm the feeling i'm getting here
and i guess i want to know is like how close to titanfall are we talking with this mobility
as close as you're gonna get for a long time but like not surely not faster
the because you're not wall running oh yeah no it's it's no it's as fast or faster than titanfall
uh you're you're you're you're doing a lot in the in those battles very very quickly
okay okay um and the the game structure has like it's almost laughably obviously inspired
by devil may cry when you hit select and see the mat um there are rooms that have big like
crossed swords on them in red and it goes that's a battle room okay and the doors will seal off
and you will fight a battle because i'm hearing lots of dmc comparisons i i haven't heard any
titanfall comparisons there there are secret missions in eternal yeah well i mean there were
in 16 too yeah but they're like do this weird task in 30 seconds level of secret missions like
they're oh yeah straight up just dmc you might be forgetting some of the challenges were like
the clock has eight seconds on it every kill adds one more oh yeah no yeah no you're right i forgot
the ruin challenges yeah there they were totally had those but um yeah uh but i just i think of like
first person shooter where you live in the air you know and um that and i am definitely thinking
of tf2 um so the the gameplay is great it runs incredibly well like you know it runs crazy well
mcgordon soundtrack is incredible did you hear the choir i hey yeah i did okay um and i got far
enough into it that i can talk a little bit about the story don't worry everybody no spoilers
and here's the fun part there are totally spoilers for this game
like there are parts of the game story that are crazy i saw piece of artwork legitimately that i was
like you saw yeah i saw i saw weapon spoilers on the artwork so here's here's so um
there is a hidden daisy the rabbit in every level that you can see not just on the cover this time
uh yeah there's a gigantic painting in doom guy's little home office
of him holding the rabbit wow wow um there is
okay do you remember when you played doom 2016 and things some things about the story were a little
unclear as to like wait where did doom guy come from in this one sure and what's the deal with
hell and who are these argent knights and all that shit um all of those get laughably definitively
answered wonderful you you've you stopped listing people i was listing the types of people that might
not have that that now would have divisive thoughts about doom because the the question was
why am i seeing uh posts of people that are people that are saying okay right you're right
sorry i this game the game's so fucking good platforming is there's a lot of it um the missions
are insanely long the missions are crazy crazy fucking long um when you um so the game's got
13 levels yeah i would put if you if you're trying to get all the secrets i would put every level at
about an hour and a half to three hours oh my god oh no oh i don't like they are under that they are
insanely i don't like that i liked how fast and concise i felt those missions were in the original
um uh the maps are way bigger hit the ah really wow okay
i would i i i like the idea of that same length being cut into uh chunks
well i mean you're checkpointed constantly uh so i mean you can put it into chunks
it's just when you'll do one half of the ice level and then the other half of the ice level
but to people who are like i'm gonna beat this level tonight before i go to bed right
um yeah um i got into a situation where i was streaming it i'm like okay guys i'll do one more
level and that one more level was like two and a half that's exactly what i'm talking about
that's exactly it you know when you're when you really want a nice like half an hour
chunk you're like yeah okay we can just get that one more chunk in there and it's like actually
you're you're locked in for three that that's a that's a that's a now granted three is the
absolute upper limit of do everything in the level find every secret but that's a death stranding
problem that's a persona problem that's a um that's a fucking astral chain problem and um
is is it a problem personally personally i like more i like more division yes to me it is
i do like more division um i was doing a thing where i ran through the first couple levels
last night on without because once you get the secrets they're gone um and the levels
if you don't look for anything are like 30 minutes long
because i mean so so for you i don't know like i get if it's for you if it's if you've
never had this issue then i then i get it right like besides the what you just described which is
oh let's do one more and then it ends up being way over what you expected right like well see here
here's the thing if i'm streaming it so when i say one more people want to see the whole level
now that they don't want to see me stop yeah now obviously that's just exclusively to us who are
dealing with broadcasting and whatnot but i but i it's not that's not the only reason why i prefer
it it broken up it's also because like um when i'm you know for myself like playing games i also
have times when i'm like all right it's fucking three in the morning and i'm in the mood for exactly
a little bit more here and you can definitely just pause and stop and resume wherever you want to
it's no big deal but like it is like preferred if i can get like you know like i said like a similar
length to what we got in the previous game where it was a bit more it was it was a lot
shorter than that and i have a logical stopping point for when i'm playing it myself too you know
so it's funny because i actually took longer in the doom 2016 levels because the secrets in them
were way more obtuse interesting okay the secrets in this one you hit select and you see a big
fucking fat question mark on your map and then you go okay i figured out how to get that
yeah um i'm a lot of folks are are uh saying there's there's there's fast travel and that
sounds great um yeah so when you get to the 95th percentile of a mission uh it'll unlock fast
travel for you and the fast travel lets you go back to any point in the level if you want to get
any question marks that you fantastic yeah um i want to say there was like one level of um the
facilities the uac facilities in in in 2016 where not only are you like really far away from that
secret you missed in the beginning but you've dropped through like five doors that are exit only
impassable so do the mission over
mm-hmm uh so the third thing as to why people might not like it as much the game is significantly
harder is significantly it's harder okay it's much harder expected considering people have
gotten good at the last one right there's always that like sequel has to raise it up a little bit
for people who have mastered the previous system yeah so you all the new tricks the the
lighting needs on fire to get armor or if you glory kill two guys you get a blood punch which is
a super melee that'll like give almost anything uh or the air dashes that's a blood punch
so get so get this willy not not only are you using the grunts for you know ammo and health and
all that but when you glory kill two grunts you'll stock up on a blood punch and it's like this massive
punch shockwave in front of you that gives anything below a certain threshold and we'll do
like most of almost anything else's life that's so good all right yep it's the punch you do when
you're in berserker mode uh no the punch you do in berserker mode is like you it's an auto glory
kill okay this one is just like it's a it's a left hook that will just kill everything that's directly
in front of you within a couple feet um so the thing is is that if you don't use all of those
things including the new grenades and the and the uh freeze bomb um you'll die is the deep use them
is the decoy still there no because i was gonna say like does anyone use the decoy because
you had that was the other ordinance besides uh gravitan no in um in this you have the flame
belch which will light enemies on fire and enemies that take damage while they're on fire give you
armor you have the glory kill you have the frag grenade you have the ice grenade which will slow
down the fast ones uh you have your roster of regular weapons and you have the chainsaw and
you have another weapon that i've yet to get uh another like mechanical upgrade that you have
yet to get there's freeze as well as the double so freeze replaces uh the gravitan thing yeah the
the main thing with freeze is that they're they're like a new enemy type called whip lashes they're
like snake people uh and there's other like really really fast ones that it's like dude
stop just stop moving for you know just stop moving for a second okay got it blitz
yeah something like that um yeah the game's incredible games incredible um
the uh the other the last thing that people might not like is that while the story does go
somewhere really really super crazy like somewhere i didn't think it was gonna go that is like
legitimately fantastic the beginning of the game is fucking confusing because um
you you you press start and it it it is just like earth's on fire and doom guy floats up in
the castle the fortress of doom and you gotta go kill hell priests and that's level one and you're
like what i'm sorry did you say earth yeah okay this is essentially doom two again and earth is
fucked okay you get back to you get back to earth in your space cast yeah i'm like that's not what
i expected okay uh and your space castle has like all of doom guy skateboards and guitars and books
i i expected i expected um press start and you're fucking on the that bench
and motherfuckers walking away from you you know what i mean yeah that's kind of uh it is it is
level eight or nine in the game before the words samuel hidden are uttered god damn and and like you
and like the whole ah the whole first five or six levels i'm like um you just get a sit there
and feather my dick you just get up and it's like listen there's no time for that we have to go kill
the hell pants okay okay and the hell priests are constantly saying weird cryptic shit to you
all right like i'll use that time to repent you're like what are you i've been um i've been dodging
trailers uh pretty hard like i remember that and i saw something really early on i saw something
before i played doom 2016 and then after i played doom 2016 i've dodged all all um trailers and
footage so i i i'm definitely cool to go in and just see whatever they set up so like there's a
good like i'd say like 40 percent of the game where the game is telling you a story and you're
like i don't know what you are talking about okay and it feels like there was a a book in between
the two games you know uh you didn't read me right now i'm about exactly halfway maybe one level
past halfway okay um the game has two virgals i've i've heard lots of lots of people have also
directed me at the fact that there are virgals in the game yeah but there are i heard that there's
a virgil and then i heard that there's a a team of virgals yeah so it's it's bananas i uh i hope
we don't enter a reality where that term becomes diluted it needs it i hope not well let me put
it to you this way one is the the big super beast okay you know what no there aren't two
virgals in doom eternal there's a nemesis and there's a virgin fantastic there's the big super
monster that has a million things and then there's the guy that looks like you and he comes out of
a portal and he slowly walks towards you yeah no the big the big monster in the way is not a
virgil that that's that's that's that's different yeah that's different yeah okay uh game good
good game
there's a there's a really unfortunate bug in the pc version right now where you can unlock
you can unlock doom one and two in the game like fully playable the whole the whole game
game but
they're broken right now like if you if you try to play them the game crashes so the whole
so there's like a oh it was fixed today there's an easter egg that has the full old games in them
yep you go up to uh do doom guy has an office he's got a home office
um in his little house and uh when you go into his home office he has a um like a 94
apple it's right like the computers you used to play the other uh uh easter eggs yeah yeah okay
and uh the you can um play doom one if you uh find every cheat code in the level because the
cheat codes are on floppy disks so you are installing doom by getting the floppy disks
throughout the game and the uh way to play doom two is that you have to type in a secret password
and it just unlocks doom two and um the secret password is the best
because i should have tried it right away i should have walked into it and tried that
password immediately because i know enough about doom guy to do it but instead it took a little
while before i figured out what it was there's no like notes that you find that's like this is the
hint to the password or whatever it's just like look how many letters there are and figure it out
okay uh and so people in the chat are asking the password is like 17 18 characters it's not like
you know uh five characters like the old doom codes which is what i tried first like okay well
that's a lot of that's a lot of good that's a lot of good stuff um i almost i don't want to hear
anymore really uh i it's fine to you're fine to fucking stop right there and let me enjoy the rest
of that yeah cool very very good game yes good cool that's pretty much it about doom eternal
and animal crossing and reasonable three demo may a lot of video games this week good week for
video games good week for video games thanks thanks video games what uh where can people check that out
they can check out more doom eternal over at twitch.tv slash pat stairs at on weeknights
probably just gonna do doom probably just gonna do doom eternal this week
um i could probably bang it out in four nights probably depends how long those that back half
of missions are cool okay um oh i also played exit the gungeon for like 45 minutes it's fine
on what let's enter the gungeon for phones
it's fine that's it for phones and and for stadia i believe yes wonderful wonderful stadia
so if i can post about that someone's a stadia fan personally emailing a bunch of developers
about about 75 of them to invite them to develop for the stadia and it's just like
yeah and they were like fuck you pay me yeah you people exist they're out there there's always
there's always gonna be some people someone you know doesn't matter what it is someone out there
will become that person anyway um i don't think i ever saw an engage fan though but
i guarantee you someone yelled at someone in the name of the engage at some point in history
it's not a taco they might have even swung every console every console had somebody
that like attached their identity to it at some point you know what i'm thinking of dare i say
every thinking of every person that i i knew yeah game gear i fought someone over the game
gear game gear was sick had color in fact i fought you over it like last year there you go i think
there you go i had color
i fought you over the game boy
uh i didn't have a game boy oh fucking sick bandai namco just fucking retweeted my jpeg dog
shit just now again fuck yeah thanks bandai namco national puppy day what the fuck apparently so
apparently it's national puppy day i guess so
okay um well
let's take a quick word from our sponsors let's do it
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okay would you say that if you had anything from that last sponsor that it would feels
good man it sure would feels good i swear to god my brain has been just scorched and burnt out by
memes hit me right in the feels like i the whole the whole time i'm just thinking of like when you
said join the feels community all i could think of was like the feels meme face which is a different
thing and i just can't i can't i can't i can't this world this world has ruined my brain catching
feels oh it's ruined my brain brain is ruined um during this doom animal week i had a very different
week you had a very different week than the doom animals and or the eternal crossings uh for one
thing we um punch bomb never saw the truman show so we we sat down and watched that and i love that
movie uh i'm happy to say that it holds up i'm happy to say that uh you know it's one of those
things that is a it is a often discussed like cultural thing because it was the fictional
precursor to reality tv in a way um yeah absolutely just it envisioned a lot of the
shit that we take for granted now and uh the only difference is obviously consent so um yeah just
going through it again um in a modern context knowing what we know now about how uh reality tv
works and especially having the context of describing um things like the big brother people
being unaware of what's going on in the outside world and then the news where they're like
and breaking the news to them will be televised right oh and you're like what the fuck so um
yeah it was a nice it was a nice uh truman show has my favorite jim carrey acting moment ever
which one and it's uh it's where the wife is doing the coffee at yeah yeah and he he starts to lose
his fucking mind and who are you talking to what the fuck you what the fuck you talking to yeah yeah
who are you talking to and he's just he i want is the best like depiction of total
fucking confusion and disbelief i can think of in a film it is um honestly it i i look at it now
and i'm like this movie could have had an alternate title it could have simply have been called gas
lighting like the whole movie for the dude's entire life all you're looking at is fucking gas
lighting it is the largest most expensive gas lighting project that has ever happened and um
that's what they want you to think well yeah it's it's it's great it's great and you know
like every little moment where like there's even little there's little things that you kind of like
you know you you you see where like you know like uh it starts with the this the studio light
falling from the sky you know and he come and like you it's interesting it's interesting to see
how like depending on how big or how weird the moment is he kind of just auto deletes it
he you know in some cases is like oh that's weird whatever but then you eventually can't
really confront it you know and like we start to see like some of the more extreme ones um
including like the radio glitch that leads to everybody getting feedback in their ear
and they all stop and turn to look at him you know uh or running into the wrong building being
unpredictable getting to the elevator and uh seeing what looks what is clearly a fucking
craft's table behind the elevator and everyone fucking panics you know just I'm like oh man Truman
show is uh that's a classic uh really really good see here's the thing you you said it's the biggest
most expensive gas light ever except you know they're just doing all this COVID shit to change the
batteries in the birds man oh that's why because the birds aren't real it's to get Oprah
you know I had a a good friend of mine tell me that he got a chain letter from his aunt
last night or the night before that was like hey I'm only sending this to my close friends and
family I just need to warn all of you it's very important tomorrow night uh the the Canadian
government will be sending helicopters over Montreal and they will be spraying the cure
from the helicopters down now to everyone so everyone on Sunday night make sure to to
stand outside and it's just like oh you guys are really losing panic makes people revert
to early internet nonsense it turns everyone back into your auntie who's learning about email
chains for the first time and if you retweet this or excuse me if you reply uh with this email to
everyone you know Bill Gates will send you a thousand dollars yep it is oh well it is it is
aggressively stupid to see um it was aggressively stupid to see that's that behavior 25 years ago
right the first two years we spent on the internet we immediately got used to that stupid
shit and called it out all the time and now um it's like with a lifetime with two decades under
our belts that someone's sending around a stupid ass chain email or facebook post or tweet saying
about I have a friend who knows somebody that works for the government and they told me that
and it's just like you fucking moron how have we not gotten over this listen is it because my uncle
who works for nintendo yeah he told me that the coronavirus was invented to sell more copies
of animal crossing so you you the misconception I suppose is that like um we as a we as a collective
all learned that that shit was stupid and then just kind of moved past it but it's not the case
it was just uh the internet people that like you know are like whatever us millennials I suppose
or anybody that you know is regularly using social media and shit just encounters so much
like of that shit that you're kind of going like well yeah I think you have given far too much
credits to the average the end of my sentence was going to be that your auntie that didn't know
how to do the dial up back in 97 that was sending those chains out to your hotmail in 2007 that's
right is now the same one who in 2017 was posting wake up sheeple on facebook and in times like this
that type of person has never learned to stop with the bullshit it's just so bear it sure sure
because the other problem is like the people who are sending this shit out if you know them in real
life you know how to parse that information out because you would hear the type of person they
are you would hear the you would hear the nonsense immediately be like oh you're one of those people
right um oh the jesus or worse yet right worse is when you think that the person is putting
any actual thought into what's being said there and going like I'm sharing this because I believe
it it might just be someone who doesn't pay attention to anything in life who doesn't care
who's just like hey man I'm late for my energy Reiki appointment and I don't know what's going
on I don't know I gotta tweet here oh yeah something about oh yeah some dangerous shit's
going on on Sunday night oh you guys I'm gonna send this to all my friends okay also Bill Gates
thousand dollars oh I'm gonna reach out to all my friends okay anyway I got my fucking I got my
appointment I'm gonna go see my friends I'm gonna go my hair dead listen you're just like it's just
the person I'm gonna be fine because I got one of the magnet bracelets I saw on the pbs you know
natural healing energy so you take the you take the the you take the option of like
around not the option you look at it like there might be the person that is like you're thinking
of like yourself where you go oh you're paying attention and believing this heavily and you're
just a fucking moron but it's also totally the person who doesn't pay attention to anything
just spams it all out there and keeps moving and if you go hey you know this is bullshit right
they go oh yeah okay whatever anyway and they just keep moving with their life and it doesn't
that's fine it doesn't mean anything you know nothing nothing none of this means anything
they just click the button and do what it says because whatever it's a couple buttons couple
thumb presses that shit happens and now in a lockdown you're seeing it return and rear its
ugly head and you have to just take a moment to remind all of these dumb relatives stop
fucking stop everyone yeah I don't know man collection of all of these and we can probably
put together a nice big quilt of quotes from people who have a friend who works for the government
who set a secret that the people are not supposed to know
I will say one thing I don't think this is uh uh limited to our older relatives
the young are also stupid certainly very certain but not immune at all
motherfuckers are looking toilet seats bro
anyway
I forgot what well how we even went down that road
birds uh bird batteries changed
got changed the batteries in the birds yeah anyway whatever there are some some some some
there but I had a very different week I didn't I didn't play the current the current hotness
I was uh looking to uh some other shit so the Truman show right uh good ass movie go watch that
if you've never gotten around to it and I'm sure you've heard references made to it it's one of
those things where uh it's worth you know you might be someone who was born after it came out
for example um go check it out you get to see what Jim Carrey used to be in that era
and he was Jim Carreying it up and that role was that his first serious role but it's it's
weird because it's not a serious role it's not actually it ends up being a role that other
people could have played like that could have been handed to someone to play dramatically
and it is a serious movie but he has these really Jim Carrey goofy moments that he plays up and it
ends up making those moments funny because of who he is right so he's it's it's a it's a script that
didn't have to be that way but like because he he plays it that way and it works out this is uh
this is pre Emma Stone Jim Carrey I suppose so yes exactly the pre-crisis pre-crisis Jim um you
know like things where he's like and if I don't see you good afternoon good evening and good night
and then he does a little head turn and goes and they do the like the super corny smile
you know he leans into the uh the super perfect pleasantville creepiness of the whole situation
yeah really great uh shot too I remember is uh when he's going into work and uh they the camera hits
the um the uh the fucking rode the the rotating door and then just spins all the way back out
and I remember just like oh yeah that was a really good shot I like that you know um yeah so that's
that that's fun that's a fun revisit for anyone who hasn't checked it out that's a movie I saw when
I was a little like a smaller version of myself and I remember thinking it was cool but really
weird and I didn't fully appreciate it and then as I got older I was like oh yeah that movie was great
wasn't it it was
like I said it didn't it didn't it didn't age poorly it uh it's good
and at some point in our lives I feel like it'll become relevant
I mean I feel like I'm living in the fucking Truman show right now well a lot of people bring
that up but at some point we're gonna have to talk about the question of again the
the unconsenting uh uh uh celebrity also with modern context uh one thing is for sure
is that a person like that can absolutely become the biggest most powerful influencer
the planet has ever seen for free yeah they should they should uh that that job exists
Truman show to influencer yeah that job exists now straight up anyway um so I also took a look
at world of horror yeah more specifically punch mom took a look at world of horror I I I sit in
that back seat and uh we went through oh that's a good game yeah we went through um two uh two cases
or we did the intro and then we did uh took an attempt at like a real a real one three actually
we did three and that's a good game that's a very good game um which mysteries you get well the first
one with the um the school and the okay the lady the creepy lady mm-hmm yeah spine chilling story
of school scissors yep uh then we did the uh uh what was it it was uh there was an eldritch god
but uh we did there's a couple with eldritch gods you're probably gonna have to be more specific
I think it was oh it was the um the the paralyzed the comas with the with the the oh uh what's that
called suspicious cases of a sleeping sickness something like that our contagious comas
I think I think it was contagious something contagious coma oh curious case of contagious
comas yeah uh and then and then abnormal account of arms and then we did um we did the one where
yeah there was like the super long limb weird shit going on in the vents yeah I love that one
so we did we did those three so hey by the way if you use if you do abnormal accounts of arms first
and get the tiny key from his mouth and then do spine chilling story of school scissors
you can use that tiny key to open up that locked locker in the locker room the school
and get a sport rifle oh get a rifle that's where the because I remember yeah because I remember
when we switched to the girl character and uh we saw bullets and it was just like what oh
fuck that's a thing all this character rules yeah bullets and every and then like some you can uh
you can get a rifle you can get a shotgun now and as of the last update and you can get uh you can
steal all dead cops go yeah because some people were like dude it's like woolly it's japan what are
you talking about and I'm like fuck off there's a bullet uh stat right there you know there absolutely
yeah uh that was cool um really really cool really nice with the with the aesthetic options I like
the little color of play I like the fact that you can randomize uh even the visuals you know even the
eight-bit style little bits and pieces like that are great uh the the the the lovecraftian references
and all in all the fact that it's kind of uh yeah it's like a roguelike horror pretty much I'm like
I don't think I've ever seen a game like that you know it's really unique it's it's totally unique
a new update came out just a few days ago and just cleaned up a bunch of stuff changed the title
screen um yeah games it's unfortunate that the um the friends you can make in the game are just items
yeah well you know it would have been cooler if that you could have a bit more of a connection
with them but then again by being randomized stories it's a bit hard to make that meaningful
or significant I mean sometimes it's useful to grab one of those shitty people even the ones that
negative negatively affect your stats just so you can use them for the fucking combat boost
that distracts the enemy yeah yeah yeah so here's the other thing and if they die they die fuck
something that I something that's really interesting to me and I love uh this because when I'm looking
at game design um and or or breaking it down games like this where uh punch mom is the one playing
it I get to see what is inherent quote unquote gamer knowledge from previous experiences versus
what new eyes interpret things as you know yeah there's a there's a good video series on this
uh from a youtuber called raz buton who uh has uh like it was like hey my wife is going to play
Breath of the Wild let's see where a person that doesn't know about video games bounces the
fuck off this shit it's super fascinating to see that happen right and I maintain that like I would
never go out on a limb and say that every game that doesn't uh uh cater in this way or feature
something uh for for people that are unfamiliar with a genre is doing it poorly because some games
are just made for people who are familiar and veterans of a genre right in some cases the appeal
of a given game is that it's a twist on your expectations because you've played so many of
these games before but I will also in the same breath say that when a game does feature explanations
that can surpass expectation or previous knowledge required that's really good that's really really
good you know I like it yeah there's a the language is there's a weird thing going on in world of
horror where it is going for the game is going for a hyper specific series of references
hey do you love lovecraft but specifically junji ito hey do you like um pre vga 1991 or two adventure
game and also like manga like it's so specific but it it it just it it goes past it it actually
has a really good tutorialization it uh and the first time player explanations are very clear
well so that's where uh i'm gonna interject because it actually has a couple of issues with that that
um i mean fuck even i had right off the right off the jump right um one of the ones in particular
was the presentation of the layout of the game has so many oh it's weird and it's so weird little
buttons and so many things that it is an overload and you actually don't always know what you can
or cannot click on right yep and the language of of what you can interact with is is blurred in with
things that are not interactable you know so there's some screens where you're looking at a background
and there are some interactable objects on that certainly um and then like it'll layer over that
background like a case file and then you have some tabs on the side and then a couple of other things
but um it definitely was on a ton of a ton of things coming at you for someone like punch mom
who doesn't usually who doesn't play games that often you know so it was kind of interesting
to see like the overload right and then the tutorial though does say hey it is kind of
overloading you and that's sort of on purpose you know but here's what you here's what you
could look at and here's it's supposed to give you a feel of overwhelming stress because that's
kind of what the game's all about yeah yeah it calls attention to the fact that like it is a
cluttered hut you know and the and and when you're looking at um extra menus it gets like
extra cluttered in some cases you know uh there's moments where um again though even even i was like
trying to figure out what each button was so like in the combat system for example i was like okay
yeah so each one of these little sub buttons leads to a different set of actions on the right
some of those will change depending on you know what what you have like like what you get access to
and stuff um but there's there's definitely little things where i was like oh that's interesting
right like um that was there this is a game where uh we went to the store with the dog and that was
a good boy good woofer right and um like went to like we saw the items listed and then went to
click on one right just to like see what's up with it and then it was a purchase first click
that's right but then after leveling up there's a list of perks but there you're kind of like
waiting to highlight but and then if you single if you click on it there it's not a click it's
not a confirm right away there's a set there's a second thing right so there's little moments of
like okay here this is a single click confirmation here you can actually safely click on it to get
more details but at the time we didn't know that there were going to be extra details so we were
like hesitating on try on clicking on it because you're trying to figure out what the wording of
the the i had a similar thing go but you can't you can't exit that screen until you click on it
so it's like right um also did you boop the dog we sure booped it was good boop um also there was
the uh the fact that instead leveling up screen right um some games you level up and then when
you hit the experience threshold you automatically get brought to the what do you want to do right
in other games here you go in other games you got to go do it right uh cotor obviously you know
and uh this yeah you gotta you gotta go click that so um the so the visual language of like
so it was flashing you know and in in many cases on a HUD a flashing thing is like yo pay attention
to this yes please click on this in this clutter it was very easy as we were trying to get our
bear at bearings it was very easy to not notice that flashing top left top right corner um to level
up as we were trying to continue on the adventure you know so um and again like some people you
know like i'm not i'm not i'm definitely not gonna uh uh say that i you know i i i'm not making
excuses for for like missing things and clicking on the wrong things and making mistakes you know
at one point um when we concluded a case there was a button that led to an ending and then
there was a button that led to uh continue right and yeah the the the little play button
instead of and i didn't we didn't click the play buttons right so missed that ending and you know
that led to a lot of stress and duress um but at the i was kind of like shit we clicked the
wrong of the two buttons and i made and i made the mistakes so um yeah so no i you know i'm
not i'm not observant i'm a dumb person i make tons of mistakes that uh other people are clearly
able to note and see more obviously um and you know lp tax aside it's just it's a constant mistake
um and of course so the two of us together are trying to figure this out uh led to some moments
of like wait what the fuck are we looking for here you know um and we kind of had some like
oh shit like uh what what where where what do we what's the next step type of moment right um
but uh i still do but i but i do think that you know as the game is in early access there are
things like what i just described about like the knowing it's safe to click or knowing it's not
safe to click that would be improved if they made that consistent the the game has seen some very
significant upgrades even in its short time in early access i uh i foresee like a lot of these
complaints eventually being fixed like uh at some point in the last update they changed the bullet
indicator like they changed where that was to make it more clear whether or not you actually have
bullets or not right um and in some cases there was definitely things where it's like
oh veteran like veteran or not like i don't like you well no that's not true that's not true
but there's like for example that fight with the coma monster where there's the option there's
the special option to unplug the the the corpse right and i was like oh that is a very missable
button in in combat you know there's a there's a fight in one of them where you all of your
buttons say you cannot possibly attack this monster it is too large and horrific wow and
you're like what the you're like what the fuck do i do and next to attack there's a tiny little
button that's like kill your friend to distract the monster and run away oh shit okay so and it's
an it's in moments like that when i want to um you know when that came up where i was like oh
if i was playing this without an audience i definitely was supposed to die here and then
the next time i came back to this thing try to figure out a different way right till you find
that secret button and then you go oh fuck yeah there is a thing right there it definitely is
a lot going on oh uh first time through you know uh there's the as you go through and try and click
on everything you learn like tons of little tips and tricks like hey every day at the start of a run
take a warm bath so you get that five percent xp then go into uh go into your room and click on
the tiny little robot on your shelf because you hide a dollar in there and you'll get an extra
fun to start your run with uh there's there's orders of encounters like abnormal account of
arms is always better to do before spine chilling story of school risers okay um there are certain
cases in which you can't leave uh the location like you'll go to a different village and you're
you can't use the regular map you know stuff like that and yeah all of that is acquired knowledge
as you bumble through it the first time and die horribly uh bumble through it the second time
and get the ropes a little bit you know a little bit and then after that you start to be a little
bit more cautious you start to be a little bit more uh observant and you maybe go oh i've seen
this encounter before okay let's play it this way this time and you know you kind of get your
bearings and then before you know it you're like yeah i got it we're moving you know um yeah so you
get into this situation it's like oh i'm gonna do the ramen quest first i don't know if i want to
do the ramen quest first because i'm uh my character is uh you know low he doesn't have anything to
fight and you always have to fight the apartment stalker halfway through that quest right and the
apartment stalker does a lot of stamina damage and always gives you a concussion yada yada yada a big
case in point is the fucking doom meter which is a goddamn awesome meter in a video game
everything you do right sometimes you can do something really beneficial but it's going
to cost you doom and you're like okay that sounds bad obviously and it's slowly filling up and
clearly it's in my best interest to keep this down right that takes no no common sense to
fucking figure out right but when you're looking at it like well that only costs three and like at
you know what's going to be the difference between being at 20 percent or 36 percent right as i move
forward nothing so this but you have no idea right i don't know if there's a 30 trigger point that
something starts happening in the world or if the only results come from 100 percent
there are two results there's zero to 99 percent and then there's an instant fail at 100 yes yes so
by the end of the of looking at the game i was able to understand that the doom meter carries
over between cases and that's why it's such a difficult to manage things because yeah because
you can rest at home and heal up considerably but the doom here so here's a couple exactly right
what's what's really crazy is that you'll run into situations in which there are enemies that don't
do health damage or reason damage they do doom damage per right okay interesting so every turn
they'll hit you with another two percent or so then i imagine situations where you make it through
the case you get to the fourth of five and your doom is way too fucking high to continue
yeah so you got to figure out how do i how do i mitigate the and that's all stuff that you're
not going to grab on your first run you know so it was really it was really kind of interesting
seeing a lot of that um and i i loved that i had a lot of fun with what they did um i think
like i said there's some improvements that could be made to the things that i mentioned
and as just just from an outside quick look perspective and um and i can say that uh as well
it would have been uh world of horrors the kind of game where uh if i had like gotten a lot of that
learned and then went all right let's take all right punch mom let's go and then we sat down
and did it uh it would have it would have like smoothed over a lot of that like i don't know
for oh yeah lack of a better term watchability i suppose um because yeah we all know the the
thing where it's like you know where the key is but they don't and you're like it's right there
oh man i really hope you figure out the keys right there but the first time you're like i
don't even know that this room has a corner that leads to a hallway or another thing in that like
shelf you know and so you kind of are just like you're kind of stumbling in the dark type of feeling
um it definitely is a game that would have benefited from me doing a little recon so to
speak um so yeah but but there's always cases where in the case of doing recon you kind of like
you know preemptively like oh like ah shit i wish i i wish i was was was doing that or discovering
this moment on stream or something like that you know so it's a little bit of a balance um
i think i'm going to uh take into account like especially when you're looking at a trailer for
a game like that i'm going to take into account the possibility that's like hey you should probably
not boot this up first time outside of setting the screen and just and hit the button and go live
you should probably do a little bit of recon that's i've been i've been toying on a game per
game basis on that for a while of like there's games where it's like this looks complicated
do i want the fumbling on cambera or do i want like a certain level of expertise
of like you know know how to play a video game uh for world of horror i think there's
so one the last update added mod support and there is a batch of community mods that have
already been included um there's a lot of potential for that because just like reuse a couple generic
images and write whatever text you want and all it is is like a stat roll and then a and a fucking
item or uh you know like they're easy to put together and they could make thousands of those
fucking events uh but the only thing that i would really want as a feature right now is once you get
to a point where you're you're like killing it and you know how to play and you know like how
the dodge works or you know how you want to brace for impact or if you want to use the thing where
i'll i'll i'll make this the next attack more accurate or make this special attack guaranteed
you get to the point in near the third or fourth case where you're like okay
my moves have 90 accuracy so what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna do prep attack attack prep attack
that's that's i figured i figured every turn figured out um and it would be nice if there was a
button that was repeat last yeah yeah because uh when you're fighting tougher enemies you're just
moving the mouse and click click click click click over and over and over and you're not actually
changing up your your fucking you know mechanics moment to moment usually um yeah you're totally
right in fact that that's another thing that would come in tons of handy uh that was so the
combat was one of the things where by the end i was uh i was fully taken over over the combat
while punch bomb was taken care of the like adventuring and storing um and you kind of yeah
there's at a certain point you kind of go like hey defending sucks swing you're gonna die if you
don't swing you don't have a lot of life you're not very strong yeah and there there's a whole
there's a whole meta there where uh you know enemies have a power level like it goes from like seven
or like to i don't know uh the 30 or 80 in some cases the higher their power the less likely you
are to be able to dodge them so against enemies that are like seven power yeah hit dodge every
time they'll never what are the three numbers there's eight there's life there's power and was the third
one uh there's their life there's their damage and there's their power damage okay uh the damage is
do they do stamina damage do they do doom damage do they do reason damage or do they do all damage
which is uh not actually all damage it's actually just stamina and reason do
but like the higher the power level an enemy has the more likely you want to burn them down
yeah yeah no our world of horror is fucking sick so that'll be coming out as a quick look
shortly you should uh if you play it again either on stream or off stream and you see the um
um uh fucking case called eerie case involving eels uh do that one it's the best case in the game
hmm it's it's super good
you would say just go right for it instead of trying to uh it's also it's also the best one
to do really interesting okay good all right cool cool yeah because it gets you like a huge upgrade
what uh when it comes to to recon how how much do you usually do
what do you mean recon in a situation like this where it's like i'll get the feel for what this
game is going to be like what what it's about uh uh depends it really depends on my familiarity
with the genre i feel like for and then i'll do a dice roll whether or not i think people
want to see me fumble with the genre i think for me um especially as i'm going into unfamiliar
territory so frequently these days i think the right amount is like do the tutorial do the
tutorial perhaps i i would say that's that's appropriate um what instead of searching for
yeah it also depends on how hard the game's open is right right when you press start in doom
it dumps you into a room and there's zombies attacking you very similar to the first game and
i kind of and yeah i don't like when um i really don't like when you know obviously you boot up
a game on steam for the first time and it's like hello here's a unique message you will never see
again you're like ah god damn it here's a cutscene that only plays the first time you
boot the game yeah wow thanks thanks zero ranger i love you you're a great game but son of a bitch
um unique boot sequences anyway world of horror was great um and yeah that is a
one-person game yeah oh one person made it wow yep fucking cool fucking cool right on from poland
a polish lady or dude i can't tell their their their their their profile on twitter doesn't
really say a lot but one polish made world of horror the inspirations are worn on their sleeves so um
i dig it i uh played an attempt was made to uh run uh sonic shuffle
sonic shuffle which is the fuck is that basically sega's answer to mario party
oh back in the days before sonic adventure two existed sonic adventure one came out and
then was immediately followed with sonic shuffle and it was a board game for players do the mini games
land on the squares collect the rings and try to get the precious stones as you you know hey hey
yeah shit all right all right all right we got um we got cat shenanigans
i uh i almost had to drink the water because he's an asshole well okay hey did you drink your water
again cat's doing cat things um not really sure what to make of the situation but this is our lives now
this is what we've got to deal with
i mean this has been my life for quite some time you just didn't see all of it
well now it's my life
i'm sorry what was that this stupid cat interrupted you can you throw him some nip
he's busted enough right now well uh i think what i was saying was that sonic shuffle sucks
it's not a good party game uh-huh they fail in uh a lot of the places where mario party succeeds
and i think um does mario party succeed absolutely it's super fun it's an excellent salt generator
it's wonderful it's a great board game that's full of bullshit and at no point do you ever
feel like you're truly in control uh i think the problem with um the with sonic shuffle is uh you
know so that we're gonna take a look at that you'll see how it goes and you know it ends up being
whatever it's a board game it is what it is but the problem with it is that it's a it's a
rival game that sega created and all of its identity is made through what mario party isn't
so okay so it's uh it's sonic all-stars battle royale it's defining itself by hey instead of
dice we have cards fuck off yeah already terrible right instead of uh duels uh uh when you land on
the share space of like this type of mini game for for for 1v1s it's a uh it's a specific one that
always shows up that's the same thing or like some of the maps have um little moments like hey
underwater you got you better like breathe or get to the bubble otherwise you're gonna drown and
that's cool that's a sonic identity thing right but there's a there's some parts of it where it's
like uh instead of uh everyone being on a uh being a part of a mini game at the end of everyone's
role everyone's turn we're gonna make it so that there's a unique battle that other people have
to get into that's just a 1v pve moment for that character and you only get into a full
floor player mini game when you land on a square that allows it so as a result everyone
sits back and has to watch a whole lot of not mini games for a while sounds like it's a really
bad idea you know and it and it really just was like you actually could have copied the formula
harder but you copied it and then started changing out the parts that made it fun so you were left
yeah this playstation all-star battle royale absolutely you know you were left with a game
that there's a board and there's red and blue tiles to land on that'll increase or decrease your
rings and there's mini games and there's stars to collect but all of what was fun was just replaced
with something different in the hopes that you know you would be seen as unique but you just you
just fucked it up uh the one thing that that was like interesting but even then mario party did this
too was like moments where it was like a big word accident flies on screen and then the stage
transitions yeah a big big word that goes accident and then it's like a giant tidal wave is washing
over the board and you guys have to surf all the way to another area you know and in the middle
of that it's a mini game where you collect rings and shit but it just you know it was but it didn't
take very long to see like oh man this this completely fucking failed you know and uh
it didn't they just didn't know what they were doing this was the year 2000 this was right after sa1
but either way um that is so we took a look at that that's gonna be dropping and then of course
the palette was cleansed and uh the salt party was saved because we decided to commence
our full LP of duke upon kingdom oh god we are doing it oh god well you're not even married
yet you can't get divorced so we've decided that the way this is going to be done is basically
it's it's not committing a um it's not committing a full-on schedule uh uh uh during the week to it
but it is going to be when we do our salt parties at the end of the salt party night we'll we'll
play one or two salt party games and then get a couple weeks in on duke upon and see what happens
we'll see what happens so we'll just you know we're gonna sprinkle in a little of that bullshit
and uh yeah and we'll see where it takes us you know no commitment
good times
well you're gonna you're gonna die you're gonna oh yeah that much is clear you're gonna kill that
it's it's clear it's become immead immediately clear that that's what's gonna happen so please
look forward to uh the duke upon kingdom LP joining the rotation as we go forward into the future
that's a bad idea but again it's like it'll be it'll be recorded uh once uh you know once or
twice like every every couple Saturdays that we do we do a salt party we'll just get another
session in there and you'll see it when you see it that game is uh a master work it's the complete
opposite of sonic shuffle in that it is mario party better than mario party
but also yeah when you described it it sounded a lot more but but but the main thing about that
is that it's it's it's not mini games at no point were we playing any multiplayer for four way mini
games you are having a single player rpg experience with other motherfuckers on your map
this is what makes it so good right you're just doing your own rpg at the same time as three other
people and you have to you know be so you have to suffice with the fact that like it only turns
into something if you guys get in each other's way when you inevitably do because there's lots of
incentive to do so you know um so yeah that's good times that's good times is it is it good times is
that the phrase we're using it's times yeah there are times times were had times happened
um yeah you know and that's uh that's pretty much what i did i also finally took a look at teppen
on stream as well so there's gonna be a um oh yeah so you beat the tutorial in teppen and then you're
able to i know yeah sure exactly uh we no i took i did some i did some ranked matches on teppen
and then i took on all challengers i opened up a nice lobby and motherfuckers came in and uh i fought
some strong ones i i i bought some fools i had a good time people got to see some of my my play
style they got to see my my my gimmick decks i told you about the dalamadur situation the
snacky boy snacky boy coming in and uh ruining every wednesday there's a it was it was it was
it was i kind of described it was basically a gimmick deck where dalamadur comes in and if
you level them up everything on the board dies so that's all right if you have the if you have
the right cards you can guarantee a dalamadur to show up by you know sending it to your graveyard
and then resurrecting it and then using nero's super to make it grow right away and kill everything
and there's very little the other person can do about it but if you get the wrong rng you won't
get the cards in order and then you'll your your strategy doesn't work so it's very much a fuck you
or fuck me run either i get the right order of cards and it works out or it doesn't i guess what
what yugioh had uh exodia was that it right where you get the body parts oh it had all
sorts of stupid you get the five body parts and then you win and that's it i think that was how
it worked that or at least i heard well anyway it's a little a little something like that where
you know hopefully you get the cards in the right order and hopefully you get the cards in an order
that you can actually play anything because sometimes you get five cards and none of them
can be played on the board and then you just lose right away so it's bullshit it's bullshit
um but yeah that was pretty i'm not seeing a distinct lack of b stars mentions
yeah yeah that's correct there's no b stars to mention
folks at home won't be able to see this if you're listening to the audio podcast
but i'm doing a hands out shrug congratulations on this on the subject becoming more relevant to
b stars than uh many other forums out there i did not do that i'm gonna blame uh page and elie for
that it's ranked seventh on the uh relevance chart
so hey that's cool i'll get to it i'll get to it but i didn't get to it this week um
i spent this week uh watching some other stuff that i'll eventually talk about but not right now
so oh is it you know sometimes i watch shit for me too and it's just for me is what it is
no sunday night is oops i didn't watch anything for the podcast night
actually that's a lie you watch nothing is for me anymore but some things are for me until i decide
to bring them up you know see there you go so there we go uh what i did not do is watch westworld
decidedly so every every one what why no it's it's based in the real world now man season three
new things it's different it's like the wire remember how the wire had a bad second season
but it wasn't that bad but then in the end they turned it all around it's like that
why didn't have a bad second season second season the worst it's the worst of the five
but it is still pretty no the dox is where a lot of people check out season a lot of people check
out on the dox season five is the worst of the five it by expectations the serial killer storyline
is like stupid looking back on it i love the dox but at the time it definitely was wait what the
fuck is the story doing well season two was a wild departure because it was about like season one
of the wire is about drugs and black people and then season two is about not drugs and the least
black people ever exactly exactly so it got very very confusing but in the end when you look at
the grand picture it all makes sense right the idea of we're looking at every aspect of this of this
life you know man ziggie sucks dude season two oh my god he makes ziggie is the worst season two
he saves it ziggie is the worst person that everyone knows if they're like no ziggie no wire
no ziggie no wire i'm calling it i'm calling it oh he's so awful
i can't think of a single situation in a show that i'm like screaming at a character to not do
that you fucking idiot where i was yelling as loud as i was when ziggie went back into that
fucking warehouse i forget you said you haven't watched the sopranos right i have not watched
the sopranos season two has ghosts of sopranos feelings associated yeah i get that well because
season two is about the union and you know what the union is it's the mob it's basically exactly
exactly it's just the mob but drunker and more polish and irish if you want if you want that that
that more of that type of shenanigan uh uh sopranos is fucking fantastic uh anyway
that was pretty much me so uh if you'd like to check out some of that action you can
check out woolly versus on youtube and woolly versus on twitch and um yeah you know as as as
stated uh besides the the the current shit we've we've been looking at um there's a nice healthy
mix of things going on you know some days uh i just grab some random shit and take a look at it
otherwise if the guys are around you know we have some we got sonic roboblast going up we got vanquish
coming out uh cotor two is uh i think where it's at yeah we're gonna have to wait and see when we
can get more sessions of that done i'll let you guys know hades currently going on that beautiful
fucking game get into fighting games um we got some fun episodes scheduled as well we we popped
in the dreamcast so we went back to take a look at some of the love that was put into old dreamcast
fighting games and uh yeah we had some we had a fucking blast man just running through memory
lane and enjoying project justice and cvs one you know um so yeah man just lots of really
fun stuff coming out so take a look at woolly versus on on youtube and on twitch if you want
more of that action cool woolly there's no time for that shit have you signed up for your your
cbt yet there's no time for that shit he says at three hours and 32 minutes into the podcast
have you signed up for your goddamn cbt yet
technically no but i'm fine okay it's fine hey is that the first story you want to jump into
because i just i just wanted to i've been thinking about that for a while it's hilarious
the guilty gear trailer coming out and at the end just all caps giant screen feeling cbt and like
oh my god sign up now but now that i've taught you what that means you'll never unsee it
you don't have to teach me what that meant because that that's the thing is you know otherwise
you're like yeah closed beta tests all day yeah it means cognitive behavioral therapy
can't unlearn it you're gonna need you're gonna need to use cbt to deal with your cbt
man that sentence literally goes in both directions that's that's incredible
that's that's great oh boy well anyway yeah there was a guilty gear strive trailer
and in it um they announced uh milia rage and zato one
they look fantastic zato one looks the exactly has got a new coat milia's got a new coat
she already looked great that's fine love the coat i like the i like the uh the collar
but uh zato one or zato ichi
is pretty much unchanged i'll i'll be honest i can't think of a single thing to do the zato's
design to change him for the better other than what they did which is give a lot more detail and
heft to well i was gonna say i was if anything i would have loved to see a sort of character switch
where like eddie took over for because you know how he coats him like a symbiote
coats him for that one that one win pose i was hoping for a little bit of that i was hoping for
some of that yeah yeah eddie looks a lot more detailed and has a lot more like gross monster
stuff going on with him looks great um yeah i i i do hope that we see um more design changes
though you know though because yeah zato one's been the same pretty much the entire time
he's a little more muscly i guess just give him a trench coat call him liquid
whatever um if we got venom back i'd like to see venom get a redesign
venom with a redesign would be hot yeah yeah yeah it just i guess it all depends on like in
lore is does this seem like the kind of person that would change their clothes you know no smelly
forever and remember venom's face cloth is actually hair yep that he died a specific pattern on his
bangs i hope that bang stays perfectly in place and it will this is time for testament to come
back i say i say it's time for testament to come back i say it's time for justice to come back
i say it's time for abba to come back i say hey how would you feel about justice coming back but
you know she's busted right but just make her fair um no i mean like design wise to get that across
it is a busted down piece of shit justice that's like falling to pieces
but is still better than almost every character on the roster pat that's the single hottest idea
i've ever heard like like that is the fucking that the only thing better than justice coming back
is justice coming back in a fucking busted mecha suit it'd be amazing yeah it's like you know her
arm is one arm dangles and is permanently broken and the the fucking uh her her shoulder cannon
only fires one side see the problem is that like the story the plot is kind of getting at the idea
that uh justice technically is kind of coming back in the form of the valentines right and that's not
the same thing i love the valentine sisters i think they're pretty cool that's not the same thing i want
i'm gonna look at a picture of justice right now justice i want my giant mecha mommy boner
oh my god that design is so good hot dude it is fucking sick and it's and like for it to not come
back it would be a shame so aria please please please please the shoulders are so big um i love it
you know i i asked i asked uh dieskate directly but that man that man showing up would be wonderful
um what's his fucking name we actually know his name
joe no it's not joe joe that man
uh no nothing
dot dot dot give it a second he totally has a name
we learned it
asca asca our cruise asca our cruise yeah that's what it was um there you go thank you
you know i mean hey uh raven was it was was that raven was the background shadow and then he showed
up and now we know anyway so uh yeah it would be nice uh it would be nice to see some unexpected
bullshit show up in in actual canonized form uh i wouldn't mind if we somehow got like
like fucking a leopold on like thing but revised a reference not leopold on itself
but a reference to leopold on you know what i mean i wouldn't mind if we got a reference to
uh judgment and most importantly to me at least one of the hottest fucking things we never got
was young cliff young cliff with the big sword and the crazy ass hair would be
fucking so hot so sick uh he would he would probably just look like uh is there a sign of
him out there cliff has a wind pose where he turns into young cliff if you've never seen it you need
to look this up immediately yeah yeah yeah right now young cliff underzin
now that's his theme don't care about that uh he now that's still old oh i see yeah i okay
his he his he elongates his hair gets long right the clothing ends up looking
immorally like his pants look like shorts as a result mm-hmm but yeah young cliff with the
giant sword i i feel like that character became sin no no cliff is the old teacher he's it's not
that's not sin no i mean like that type of character design and instead of the big sword
they went for the flag sin is no so young cliff is kind of a wild boy you know what i mean it's
not quite it's not the same it's not the same um young cliff is fucking he's banging and uh
i'd like to see it i'd like to see it come back there's a lot of places that guilty gear can go
for for for fun you know to to to reference the lore a little bit more and of course we
still need to find out anything about masked black samurai boy
it's crazy how far away like i forgot that character existed because he has not been seen
in one shazillion years not a single detail yet not even a name
yeah it's a little bit wild bridget i don't know what you do to that character design
i imagine uh i imagine it just becomes like level two none or you just go full um what's it called
you go full
battle fantasia with it and you turn him into a mini pope
battle fantasia has a mini pope it does yeah
i don't even have to mention bichen anymore everybody knows
who's bichen
kenshin oh okay i got it pink kenshin
okay so yes guilty gear happened certainly that's cool
you know what's not cool what's that
well did you forget about the other guilty gear announcement
i kind of really want to get to the scumfuck companies i'm sorry it's nice it's it's it's
it's i talked about it on stream when it happened so i forgot that we didn't discuss it ourselves
because i've because i talked to with i talked to reggie about this on uh on woolly versus
they have announced that rollback is coming to the final version of guilty gear strive yay
it is not uh on the demo that's coming however the the closed beta test will have delay base net
code but they're saying that the last version will uh the release version will have it rollback
is coming it is not ggpo yay it is their own they'll do their own thing hopefully it's good
because hey remember the last time capcom tried their own thing it was bad so you know you're not
out of the woods just because you're doing rollback you have to make it good rollback
but we are that much closer to a a a brave new future um now hopefully they also like you know
nail that gameplay based on a lot of the people's trepidations and a lot of what they're talking
about if those two things come together and they actually do have good ass rollback and not bad
rollback then yes fucking fantastic because as you know as rightfully pointed out yeah marvel
infinite fixed they nailed it but then they refucked it up with street fighter five so
oh we know did they we know that they they they did it right and then they did it wrong
which makes it like shit like why would you go and fuck it up after that so yeah
hopefully they do it right i'd love to hear that they're actually running ggpo but look you know
it's it's a bit much to expect a japanese company to um reach out and grab things that are not
internally developed you know that's still still feels like baby steps we didn't make it here so
it doesn't count just count shut up what's ggpo is it stupid it's stupid get out of my face yeah
so rollback cbt not gonna happen and it's probably for the best because you can't rollback
you just have to make sure that uh you you never lost your extra to begin with
uh see because if you got snipped as a baby then there's nothing to roll back
but if you didn't get snipped then you can roll back that cbt all the way and you don't have to
worry about any any disconnects or lag or desyncs you know yeah there you go
okay
well that's all big old rollbacks
i hope you i hope you clean the frames that you're that you're rolling all right come on
all right let's get mad at your old job holy let's do the thing you want to do not even my old job
not even my old job game spot yeah oh the other one okay that's the most
ridiculous thing it's it's all right well you know at this point at this point right there's no
real way to fucking you know what are we gonna do build it up listen game stop is a bunch of scum
fuck assholes and they more or less were okay with the idea of their workers going in and continue
to spread and possibly continuing to spread if not becoming a hotspot for covid-19 and uh
every part of this story has been a stomach churning nightmare of we don't care about
your health and your loved ones health in the wake of us losing money and yo animal crossing sales
though man this is all just like you know um it's shit that you expect but also don't really
like when it comes down to it i know that you can just go yeah we know what else right
but it's like yeah but here we are in a world where like actually though we're cool with you like
getting sick and possibly fucking dying and giving it to other people we're cool with
creating a public health hazard um as long as we stay in business like that should yeah okay well
them being cool with that should obviously not go uncontested right it's one it's one thing to just
go yeah we assume it's all super evil it's another to be like and then nothing happens as a result
so you know i i think that um sandbagging the indignation of the situation is kind of like
yeah okay that's one way oh no no no no no no no no this is not the sandbagging of the
indignation trust me i have plenty of indignation it's more like i don't put this
of course they don't care if they kill you they don't give a shit about anything it's the nature
of a company with stocks and yada yada however uh do not uh do not think that i was not filled with
glee when i saw that pennsylvania took the first step good job state of pennsylvania we want to
create a timeline for everybody if we want to create a timeline right uh and and i mean
we can go back as far as needed but we can start the timeline at reggie joins the company
yeah uh reggie joins the company global pandemic hits
shit's bad uh the first news i heard about game stop when everything was closing was that uh they
were the first thing then that we got from them was they announced that their plans
were to split across uh thursday and friday the animal crossing and doom release dates
so that if you had to come in you'd at least split the crowd so that it would be somehow
less effective because hey you know um spreading it to people
what over the course of two days as opposed to one sure that's going to help the situation
slight improvement i guess uh so they said yeah come in on thursday to get your doom and
come in on friday to get your animal crossing is what they said all of this was while things were
like deep shut down and everyone was like uh you're announcing this but it's kind of crazy
that you're not closing um but here we are yeah there was a great uh there was a great
thread on reddit where a guy who worked at game stop provided a bunch of details about how they're
like don't worry everybody the employees are cleaning the stores and the employees are like
with what are we cleaning the stores the the second piece of information sorry that we got
was when they announced uh uh that hey if the to the all their store managers uh or i guess uh um um
i forgot the term but anyway they're to all their employees associates to all their associates
if the police show up and say you need to close this store this mall is shutting down and or
this is a public health hazard due to the pandemic uh we have printed you out a piece of paper that
you are to read to the officer explaining to them that uh game stop is allowed to stay open as an
essential service and that uh essential services are are allowed to to to uh ignore the law here
and that uh if they have any questions they should call the corporate branch and then provide the
cop with the phone number and then the cops went go to hell everyone went okay you're doing what
all right the third piece of news that came out was then a few days later because you know
that the thing about these days is that uh life moves fast and updates come in quick and
must have been like a day or two later uh we saw a leaked conversation that was recorded
by one give credit where credit is due i retweeted him but i don't remember uh
camelot 331 on youtube you got another conference call camelot 331 on youtube got onto a conference
call and was able to record the entirety of game stops corporate offices explaining to all of their
branch managers and it sounded like canada because they used the word province a lot um explaining
to them essentially why they should keep working and how it was okay to do so despite every other
store in the malls being closed because they were meeting on a day to day basis and it were
they were having day to day assessments and hey i know that you are crying on the phone right now
explaining that you're scared about the situation and that uh you don't want to be in the crossfire of
like what is essentially a hot spot for disease since every other store not to mention a corporate
versus police dick measuring contest because as every other store in the mall closes and people
that are idiots drive in looking for an open store the only one they see the lights on is
game stop so they all crowd in so they're saying a lot of people are gathering in these days due
to having nowhere else to go and it's extra dangerous people are on the phone fucking terrified
and uh the corporate managers on the line are just like well it's a day to day basis you know
we don't want to put you guys in any bad situation so that's why we're having day to day conversations
and it's like at no point are you answering what the fuck are we still doing open uh when it comes
to them asking uh where are the can we get cleaning supplies to make sure that things that like
whenever we get the chance we can keep everything safe and sanitized for everybody and they're like
yeah those are very hard to get right now we're working on it we should maybe see some coming
to you guys by next week but for now hey uh you know if you want you feel free to go ahead and get
your own um and we'll uh we'll you know you can expense but otherwise you know we'll we'll we're
trying our best but uh who knows you know we'll we'll see if we can get them next week it's a cool
cool i'll make sure to tell the the fucking virus to hang out for a week before it comes through
and then uh once we have the supplies it'll be great oh yeah you know what game stop i'll just head
down to my local walmart and pick up a big old jug of hand sanitizer and expense it i'm sure that
won't be in it shouldn't be too tough so that call also consisted of uh people going like have you
seen the fire on your facebook posts and your social media as people are wondering why you're
staying open and they're like yep we'll get someone to put out some sort of statement it'll be fine
and then they're like no no no like are you actually going to ever start considering
people over profit here and they're like well you know it's a day-to-day conversation and it's
dude it's a half an hour phone call and it is like the most infuriating shit to listen to
because again you can literally hear the manager's going what if someone actually gets it in our
store what do we do right and then someone goes there was someone that's sick and did go home
right will they be getting paid leave and they're like ah we know we know maybe it's a difficult
time and you know uh we'll have to look into it we'll have to see um i want to kind of say
go fuck yourself but but that's not going to play too nicely so i'll just say we'll look into it but
i i don't think that um we can expect people to get paid if they choose not to come in
if you remember the phrasing there um if they choose not to work excuse me right so cool
you got the virus you chose not to work awesome awesome fucking good good shit right uh you get
you get them going hey what happens if the store shuts down and what happens if someone comes in
and has it and the store gets infected and we confirm that and they're like well um you know
you guys can close out the shift and then we'll send in a crew we'll clean the store down and
probably close for a day clean everything off wipe every surface and then open again
it's like will you cool got it got it um and as you get through all of this we finally get to
a nice part on the call where someone goes hey by the way i've been trying to uh get through to you
guys over the last couple days and um the office answering machine has been going through and um
says that you guys are just uh only taking emails um is there is anyone there or yeah we're all uh
everyone's working everyone's working we're all uh we're you know we're we're all here and we'll
be corresponding by emails you know because of uh the time it's a little bit like i don't think
correspondence might take a little bit longer it might be a little bit uh you know delayed
but uh we're all still here and we're also checking our emails
so you're isolated and working from home then as you are decreeing that everyone else go out
onto the front lines and fucking die cool that's correct cool cool so that's that's the that's what
you more or less get right i just summarized the phone call for you wonderful um
beyond incredible beyond incredible uh uh how are we supposed to deal with the lines that are coming
in as we're now busier and people are coming in for those games to get their doom and their
animal crossing um i'll don't worry man you'll it'll well what you guys can do is you can regulate
how people enter the store of course but uh for the mall you want to talk to your mall manager
you guys want to make sure you're in constant communication with the given mall managers
to figure out you know how to handle the line situation at every given mall
you know um but we can't can we not have this thing where people all come in and no no we're
gonna you know day-to-day conversation conversation day-to-day today it says we stay open uh tomorrow
it says we stay open but we'll but we'll who knows you know so they're literally just like yeah get
together crowd up do what you gotta do and the whole time you kind of wonder if you're you have
to be looking at this like is it possible that uh they're going so hard on this to the point of
fighting the police which is absurd right but is it possible that they're like if we don't get
this animal do money we are done like is it possible that they're on such their last legs
because we thought they've been dying for years now but every time we think they rearrange it they
put a few more funko pops in front and uh pull a few more stickers off of boxes and then they
stay alive the question now is is is is this desperation the actual death throws of a company
because i can't imagine fighting this hard against what is very clearly the most negative press you
have ever taken on ever nothing they've ever done has been this insane and the idea that you're still
gonna try to maybe stay open oh just put the money though right it's so like you don't understand
how this pr it's not a pr nightmare right it is this like this is pr extinction there is no coming
back from there is no coming back from this but but no the thinking that you might still be able to
and not seeing the doom for what it is is so utterly insane that i can only think that this
is a company that if it doesn't do this thing if it doesn't gasp for air then it perishes
is that a crazy thought uh i uh so uh the one thing that you did miss in that is that uh
pennsylvania went hard on it that was decided to go no you're you're going down now you're
the this will close you no longer have a business license right you're done so after the phone call
eventually the mayor of pa just went your business license has been revoked go fuck yourselves and
and then they put a sticker on the door and i saw a photo of the sticker that basically says
this is no longer a business this is shut this is nothing and no one is allowed to enter here
without the proper authority and covered protection so literally it is straight up like
um it is straight up like um there is possibility of contamination you know on that on that that
that that's the thing they put on the fucking you know governor excuse me governor to answer your
earlier question uh i seriously doubt uh the the vast majority if any of those stores will ever
open again i hope deep within i hope and i was praying that that action was going to be a trend
center where it was like okay you fucking pieces of dog shit if you don't want to close you're no
longer a store right that would have been lovely unfortunately it seems like it was just pennsylvania
but either way guess what it worked and at some point someone woke up and went hey
this is psychotic we're gonna close and we're gonna like actually offer a paid leave to some of our
employees oh hey seems like eventually word caught around although not before many attempts
were made to take down and delete references to the call that i that was mentioned uh the leaked
call you know attempts to fucking yeah they were hitting them with false dmca claims i think so
um so it really really is like mark this down in history right never forget that this garbage
ass fucking remnant of a store that continues to exist to offer physical that's been a problem
for such a long time now and has had these issues right this fucking place where where you know
there's there's been all kinds of scumfuck behavior from them uh going into your copies of of of
deus x and pulling out the fucking uh cd keys that you got you know um to to make sure that nobody
got a digital incentive of any kind right well all of that now comes to a head where you're like
that's just like annoying in a video gaming context that's just an annoying thing to do
to people that are that buy video games um this is like morally and ethically deplorable to the
umpteenth maximum and so like you like apparently apparently all stores are closed yeah right now
yeah that's what they announced that's that's what i said the the the attempt to save face was
we're closed um we're gonna we're gonna close right after all stores yes right after you sell
all your copies of doom eternal and animal crossing you know so uh we'll see we'll see
and uh and that's that's that's the attempt that's the attempt now reggie joining of course
i described it i believe last week as him parachute a diving halo jumping into the
burning ship filling up his sacks with gold and diving out before it hits the ground
and now might be an actual decent time to just grandpa simpson the situation
you know what maybe i don't need to help you guys maybe you guys got this all by themselves
all right i'm about to head out says spongebob as he gets up off the couch
just it's not the worst craziest situation for a dude like that to jump in look right give it the
nice um um community the apartment's on fire and donnell glover is like oh dear god i just went
for pizza what happened and then you know as long as reggie doesn't say anything because he hasn't
even started his job yet then he can just 180 put the hat back on and just fucking
deuces teleport out moonwalk whatever you gotta do and just peace out and not action i would like
to say goodbye to everyone right now it was great to work here now reggie reggie is you know possibly
bored in retirement and might actually be the type that's like i love a challenge maybe maybe he
wants to take on hard mode you guys but if we want to continue thinking about reggie in a positive
manner and i think he's not an idiot you kind of have to read the situation and get the fuck out
this is at the forefront of the most toxic fucking companies right now based on this type of behavior
and if he doesn't want to go down with the ship he's got a you know like while the while the uh
while the quartet is playing and saying gentlemen it's been a pleasure reggie needs to
fucking load up that that that that jetpack and just blast the fuck off and land on the iceberg
it's about as bad as it gets yeah it really is just about as bad as the fucking gets um yeah so
that's that's the state of of game stop now of course appropriately named it took a little while to
hey just one last job oh no damn it reggie now now of course you know the fun doesn't stop there
because uh i'm you know i'm sitting in an and what comes across the desk well it turns out
turns out that there's many companies that are acting a fool these days there's many
companies that are not taking shit seriously and looking at it and going ah but what if we keep it
going though i hear you i hear you man you finish well what if money though and uh boy was i shocked
and odd to see that one keywords which is the company that purchased my old company
babel qa oh yeah way uh outsourcing extraordinaire uh they basically had there's an article that was
written up and again i get credits to let me get the name properly over here because
it was yeah this this came from rank and file dot ca were effectively game workers employed at
keyword studio the largest quality assurance studio in montreal say they are pressured to work on site
through the covet 19 pandemic while senior staff and management are allowed to work from home
crazy but i don't understand woolly why not let everyone work from home because wet naps bro
fucking wet naps for those of you who might have missed it i told the story at least twice
before where we used to work in an office where you have to sit at a test station
at a workstation use test kits share controllers share builds share desks share seats you don't
know you might sit here today you might be there tomorrow it is a place that there is very little
division a couple of different secure offices but for the most part if anyone gets sick in
any way shape or form everyone's fucking catching it because controllers dude it's gross enough
that you just don't want to deal with people's fucking sweat and cooties you know but this is all
way back in the day and me and the guy i'm working with are sitting there and we're looking because
the policy for the longest while in this company as it was growing to be you know what started small
and it got bigger the company was always the policy was always here is the bag of wet naps that you
can pull up and at the end of your shift you wipe your shit down you wipe your controllers down your
station your keyboard you wipe everything down in the area you're in because you don't know where
you're going to sit tomorrow very simple basic right let's play it safe well it turns out
that the what the 1399 the 1499 at pharma pre was too much on the expenses and eventually
they had to cut back they had to cut back on the 20 the less than 20 bucks a week
to to provide everyone with wet naps for the day because um yeah you know it's way we gotta save
we gotta we gotta save where we can we can't be wasting funds look at this we can turn it around
and we can show you the number of how much money we saved so the big old bucket that used to be
filled up eventually just stayed dry and empty hey guys we're the wet naps this week oh we didn't
get any you know hey where are they next week oh we didn't we're yeah you know what i think from
now on we're just not going to be doing that anymore might be um we're not going to be doing
that anymore cool cool and then me and my friend that we're sitting we're sitting there and we're
we've it's been so long so i like the details escaped me but we just sat there counted the
testers on the floor did an approximate fucking number breakdown on it and and and went like this
is how many wet naps you would need this is how many are in a package this is what how much
would it cost to date etc right it was a fucking pittance it was your lunch times it was nothing
and the company was like nah fuck that we got to save that much in exchange for the health
of everyone on the floor because literally one person is all it takes and yeah we're just like
no fuck that we don't want to do that anymore get some get some cold get some flu on this controller
on that keyboard can we maybe replace it with sanitizer squeezes at the doors or something
no cool cool so just nothing then just the dirty kits you yeah that's that that's
finished you log out at the end of the day you wipe your balls with the controller
hawk a loogie on it and toss it back at the table don't sounds good um
eventually the level of absurdity hits such a point that anytime anything happened where it was
like the most simple competence could have solved this problem but management refused to be competent
management man we just looked at each other and just went hey man
wet naps wet naps bro you know end of the day what happened over there
oh you know wet naps what do you think happened it it was it was it was incredible it was incredible
so now we fast forward to this company the same place turns out that when people are
fucking getting sick and a pandemic is literally ravaging the planet they're like yeah but come
in and do those tests though we're gonna be at home because we know how serious it is but you
guys come in and do those tests keep it going and hey i'm gonna say something controversial here
i think if some video games get hit with some delays will all be fine
listen it is more than likely that we're hitting we're currently there's currently a recession
it is more than likely that there will be a depression after this it is more than likely
right it is not going to be a good time for a fuck ton of people out there it's just common sense
right we know the deal you can see this coming
the idea in the process that um these companies are going to do
do whatever it takes to minimize their impact is again it's not it's not unpredictable but
it's when you see it's it's just it's that little twist of the managers themselves being at home
that sends me over the edge you know it's because it's just it's that little extra detail
that makes it unforgivable fucking scum um now and and and you know shout outs to our friend
james small who um gave a nice big reply with some context uh on the tweet that i i put out last
night more or less describing that the outsourcing qa situation is so desperate and so fucked because
of how the companies have been undercutting each other over the years that there is a permanent
alertness and fear that if for any reason they did not deliver or show up to give the qa hours
they promised they would lose all their contracts and someone would just come in sick because
they're already playing a game of like we are hanging on by a thread to this company we might
just as easily tomorrow switch to that one and it's such a fucking like it's a hostile
buyer's market already so like what do the lives of your testers matter or or their families
i mean you don't have to pay people when they're dead
you don't because they died
that's like free labor people deserve to generally have an idea whether or not the company that
they're trying to work for is willing to let them die so that business would continue
i mean they are once upon a time there were coal mines and people that were like ah you're fine
if the canary drops you then get out but you're fine right once upon a time there were
insert insanely high risk not safe dangerous job here where preventable injury and death could have
been you know it could have happened but didn't right whatever the case may be a lot of that
you don't really encounter these moments in like i guess north america as much as you know in
general you kind of hear about fucked up shit in other places and it's it's it's fucking awful
right but this is just a nice moment where it's laid bare you know you get to strip the skin off
and see the monster underneath and kind of go like i don't know man i i would get ill with
every year at that grocery store and every single time i tried to call in sick she would accuse me
of faking it and yell at me to come in anyway like i feel if i had said hey julie i have the
covid she'd be like i don't believe you come in anyway and she was just the manager she wasn't
even the fucking owner hmm like i i assume that the vast vast majority of stores and businesses
if they were in the process of going bankrupt like game stop is would have acted just as poorly
wow also i am i am no no no i'm being educated right now before you even speak up we are canadian
boys we are canadian boys sitting in canadia um everyone no no don't include me in this you
haven't worked retail in a long time has been very clear uh in their in in their in their statement
that this shit happens all the time in america this is the norm it is super common to see this
this it's fucked it's yeah it's fucked so we gotta burn it all down man
gotta burn it all down i mean well metaphorically well those are my thoughts on the matter
delivered into the microphone for this podcast
i wish i could live in the world that you lived in two weeks ago that you got to be surprised by
this shit it's different it's not like i don't think i it's not a it's not that i thought about
it's not that i thought game spot game stop was benevolent to their employees and that there
was this this you know sense of camaraderie and family and corporate bullshit it's not that any
of that was the case two weeks ago it's that when it comes down to it and it's happening live in
front of your face and you get to hear the voices on the phone of the people who are like actually
just okaying spreading disease like when it comes down to staring raw at it
it's going to ignite something way fucking stronger than the dismissive this is late stage
capitalism this is a boring dystopia what i mean of course that's that cynicism is always there
but it's just when you see that moment right you go cool can we screenshot this can we frame it
and then make sure to point to it in the near future that that's see here here here's the part
that like what i say like i wish i could live in the world that you lived in two weeks ago
when i first started working at the store they told me anyone who goes down to the basement
for the grocery store has to wear steel-toed boots because there's people they're moving
pallets around and stuff like that it's easy to break your foot that's a very common injury
and if you break your foot down there they'll be pissed off at you because you might get fired if
your seniority isn't enough if you take time off workers come yeah you got it right and i went okay
fine where do i get my steel-toed boots and they said i'll go down to a hardware store
handyman store and get one and i'm like pardon
they're like yeah go get your steel-toed boots
and i was like oh you you're just yelling at me to not get hurt on the job that you're telling
me to do and to fix it myself when i was told that by my boss i immediately knew like oh he
doesn't care if i get hurt or even die down to the basement with all that machinery he's just
trying to fucking get away from my goddamn like a potential lawsuit yeah um i just i don't i don't
want your your framing of this on me to be like oh woolly you're some sort of naive summer child
that doesn't understand the ways of the world here because like it is not remotely surprising to me
that you know every time you see uh i don't know for example it's like you see a fucking hey you
know you know what's going to help uh you know what someone's health care program looks like in
america in the money cases it's a go fund me and you go like that's fucking disgusting right but
that's how that normally goes and you're like yeah that's that's how it is i you know about that
that's expected right that's that's fucking trash but hey yep that's what it is right but um
there's a difference between encountering that on the regular and then reading the story about
the lady who uh donated her kidney to save her boss's life and then said boss uh laid off that
kidney donor for needing more time to recover and not being able to work in the meantime yeah
like when that story hits you go oh okay i mean i know that this is the environment that
breeds this type of situation but when the situation comes and you read and you see that happen and
especially if you're on the fucking call hearing it you're gonna get fucking disgusted by it most
certainly you know so that's that's it well no but well i mean woolly we're just gonna go in
another circle it's like yeah there's only so many of those that can be shocking uh like i've been
i've been hearing and seeing and experiencing that for like 20 years and so of you to a degree
i'd like you to take a take a look where does the newfound shock come from take a look at the amount
of shock at the people who didn't know about that story hearing it in the chat right now
none of that you're not seeing people go oh yeah that's like everyone that just didn't know about
that person that got fired for donating a kidney to the boss that slice was saved was like what the
fuck just now and that's what i'm describing so do you do you remember a long time ago uh there
was that story that i told about how i tricked that guy into selling me street street fighter for
early uh and everybody got mad at me because i was like i don't care what happens to him fuck
him it's an adversarial customer yada yada right like us i always assume literally that your boss
will kill you for a nickel is what i learned working in retail they will literally slit your
throat and dance in your blood for five cents obviously a pat take but is it you just talked
about a story where a guy fired a lady for giving her kidney but then the world is like
yeah no no no dead dead dead intense slit your throat and dance in your blood for a nickel
is the is the exact visual here
like that's the that's the exact like that's my point like i'll have i'll say crazy shit like that
and it sounds crazy and people like that's insane and then they get to be shocked it's like
when when this when the covid stuff started happening all i can remember wondering is like
i wonder what company's gonna stay super open regardless of being told not to right and it's
just that it's just the corporate version of those dumbasses playing ping pong on a beach in
italy when the mayor is like screaming at them to go home and they're like ah the ping pong ah the
pizza but right but instead it's a guy like oh we gotta get the stock but it's not the same we said
at the early beginning of the podcast the difference is those guys are stupid and don't care about what
they're doing or otherwise are underestimating it versus those who are like oh no this is serious
and dangerous no no no no do you know what they are they're willfully being ignorant for their own
gain and their own game in that temporary moment is they get to play ping pong outside for game
stops executives the temporary gain is the stock price the difference is their own their own selves
on the line versus the lives of your employees yeah that's it it is it is that's a large yeah this
could hurt people but i don't care that's a distinctive factor to me um of course the nature
of a pandemic is that your own endangerment is also the endangerment of everyone else
mm-hmm
yeah they'll kill you they'll they'll drink your blood they'll dance in your blood
they'll be they'll be glad to do it they'll be like oh this motherfucker always took a sick day when
he was sick what a bitch where the fuck do you think you're going you step on the streets i'll show
up to your house with a flamethrower i once went to work sick and sneezed on my boss sudo on purpose
because fuck her and she went into a rage
and saying how could i have come to work sick and risk us of risk her getting sick
and it was like because you scream at me when i call in sick and threaten to dock my hours you bitch
like that is why that's pretty fucked up
well then sneeze on our own purpose i could have averted but i decided not to
i could have gone for the elbow
but i was like
i should mention this is like 12 years ago guys
well you said bitch though i did not i did not say that i'm sorry
sorry i did not say bitch though
well that manager was so reviled oh my god everyone everyone hated her i just like i remember
like hey let's all go out after you know it's christmas we'll go to we'll go to a bar right
and she's like can i come and everyone just goes and then when we got to the bar everyone
angled the chairs so that she was like facing the back of a circle
like just the the most aggressive you go away now you horrible person wow
wow
oh horrible
i did not say bitch though i said
like like uh like a couple months before i quit because best friends was going well
she got pregnant and and took her maternity leave which is
is bonus fucked up considering how much shit she gave other people for getting pregnant and taking
their maternity like textbook you know what will you know what your problem is what's what some of
your bosses were nice to you problem some of your bosses were nice to you i remember meeting one
of your bosses that you used to work under and he was like a pretty cool guy some of my bosses
were and that's weird some of my some of that's super weird my bosses were good people some of
my bosses were pieces of garbage like the world yeah that's true
all right so uh the the takeaway from game stop is uh they are probably going to burn down and
no one will notice i'll notice and i'll fucking like i will cheer you'll light a cigarette on
the i will i will which doesn't technically work but i'll do it nonetheless i will seawalk on the
grave but let it let never forget in these moments that you don't you are not like yeah i'm so happy
that all these people don't have a job anymore right because to begin with i know i know but
you have to you have to qualify that statement yeah i i don't think you do i don't think anyone's
out there going yeah i love it when people lose their jobs but you can't use the fact that companies
employ people as a defense for the fact that they're scum if if game stop if it came out today
that not only are they gutting your you your new games for used games um and they're they're uh
possibly infecting people with the covid but also that uh every every new copy of a game
is sanctified with dead baby eyes that they killed for this purpose you can't go oh man but if you
shut that place down the baby scooper loses job or the guy who delivers the baby scoops the guy who
delivers doesn't even know what's in those boxes it's not his fault pretty obvious but i say it
because there's always that handful that are like are you celebrating the fact that these people and
it's like obviously not obviously no of course not this is to preemptively stop that person
mid-tweet now i'm sure some of the people of minority hopefully who lose their jobs when
game stop dies deserve to lose their jobs because they're scum but most will just be regular regular
average joseph james the people who are scared that will be like oh the people who were fucking
terrified on that phone call who are who are who are like literally worried about what would
happen next and about where where their fucking lives were going you know all of those people
that have to deal with the this fucking anyway uh yeah yeah so you know that's that's
reggie's looking real delicious right about now pr extinction pr extinction
there's no coming back
okay um
you know he used to work at pizza hut right oh yeah i bet he's super tasty
i'm sure he has no shortage of connections if he wants to do things uh in his retirement
because he's bored okay well anyway um so uh that happened and then there's a couple of other
things right so there's some we talked about the guilty gear strive announcement uh there's some
weird shit the other hot topic at the moment is with the new spring 2020 update to the epic
game store it was revealed that oh yeah amongst the new games joining the epic game store is samurai
showdown and for those of you who remember the last time we talked about uh the pc version of
samurai showdown this might be a real head scratcher because you're like but hold on a minute samurai
showdown epic game store didn't that come in as a story where epic tried to get the exclusivity and
then uh the producer said nah fuck that though i have confident in my product yes i do remember
to the epic game store i suppose the difference this time versus last time is that it's not exclusive
anymore because it's also out for the switch and for ps4 but the pc version that many people
have been waiting on seems like they still took the deal to drop that on the epic game store instead
of on steam so it's pretty dumb it's pretty dumb it's gonna hurt the user base there was
so many more people that were interested but waiting to is the online for that trash it's
fucking you know it's standard shit man standard shit yeah but there's standard shit and there's
standard shit that also sucks no standard shit like that's the biggest problem with it isn't
the connections the delay connection stability it's the ranking system and and how it makes no
sense yeah really when you finish when you when you fight our when you fight a ranked match you
can rematch indefinitely oh well that's i mean it's cool for getting matches i guess but um it's
on the it's on the lower end of functional you know when we want to have done online tournaments for
it most matches end up okay but there's always the bad ones it's not great it's it's you know
it's the fucking yeah um but anyway uh so it was a baffling ass move where you go why not steam
where everyone that didn't buy your game yet was waiting uh a lot of people like a lot of people
i know were like i'm gonna wait for the for the steam version um and yeah now you just you swap
stores on it and it's like yeah that sucks man um i think it probably amount amounts to well
they're they're getting paid handsomely to do so you know so at that point it's the same
choice as last time except you get way bigger payment for an exclusive deal this time after the
game is already out and available on more than one other platform uh it's probably nowhere near as
much but it's you know whatever guaranteed money they decided to take uh over the possibility of
steam sales that's the choice they went with you know i gave a i gave geog galaxy a shot the new
one that integrates your all your all your bullshit it's actually fairly impressive the
way it integrates yeah you mentioned it last time uh to any yeah it uh wait last really
you talked to i know you talked about the fact that it was an all-in-one pc launcher along oh
right right right um yeah that version's out now and uh you sign in through their their
shit and it imports imports all your shit and you have like a geog epic origin xbox you play list
uh and you click on it and it launches it's actually fairly comprehensive the only thing
i don't know is what happens when you uh have games on multiple platforms yeah that's a good question
i might switch to that um but at the moment i only ever have to i only rarely don't use steam
you know uh i only it's like really like hades or like you know like some random
shit every now and then but for the most part my stuff's all hooked up on steam so um yeah i'm not
booting up overwatch i haven't you know the fuck uh yeah so that's that's a weird one and i guess um
you know in in in line with the conversation we just had about um companies and profit
it's it's probable if not likely that you know they just kind of looked at it and said like okay so
we're gonna get this much money and we're estimating our pc sales will not be higher than the
amount epic is going to give us up front bummer just kind of sucks man well everything we also
know that epic sometimes makes offers that you'd be stupid to refuse that's true i have a bunch of
games on there just because i bought got them for free so every week they're like hey free game
and like i'll download that i own them on steam but i mean i think you have to pay the fucking
developer if i download it so get fucked so maybe that's the kind of offer they got you know who
knows but that's where it's at and it's otherwise pretty uh disheartening when uh the story prior
to that was yeah we told them to fuck off because we had confidence in our game and then it was like
wow we caught it on the back end though you know anyway um we'll see where that goes
the other announcement uh that dropped was pertaining to oh yeah we got a first screenshot
of stalker two yeah really yeah holy shit i didn't see that apparently it's coming out uh 2021
but the first screenshot in game has been revealed it's a fuck can you send it to me on uh yeah
it's a fucking shitty ass dilapidated russian countryside
who the fuck is making that um who's making the game
yeah
because there's a bunch of weird nonsense with who owned stalker and the guys who originally
made stalker went and made the metro series according to this sound like genuinely confused
stalker2.com
okay well i mean yeah stalker2.com would be a good place to stop
csc gsc game world
oh that is the old developer i just must be missing a bunch of staff weird
big weird
yeah i can't send it to you because of the way the the the fucking podcast layout is
going right now but it's you can just okay google it
okay um
um
there is a
kind of goofy oh you know i've almost forgot because i was gonna say like um
we were talking about all the companies and all the shit that's been going on right and and you
know those those who have a fucking gross uh and one of those big old gross ones that like was
happening as of like hot news live as we were we were podcasting right now last night into this
morning was uh the fucking olympics commission if you've heard about that for the longest while
there have been like should we cancel the money though and um they've been doing the same dance
and it's nonsense and the olympics been bullshit for for fucking ages we've all known about the
or maybe we don't have it but uh those of you who do know know that like there's stories of
corruption and absolute garbage and fucking oh yeah the olympics commission is the most
fucking super evil roving band of fucking assholes that they show up and they take everything
and they ruin your shit and they say thank me for the privilege you know um and so we pretty much
have been watching them uh flop and flounder and kind of look for every possible reason to not cancel
the olympics right because you you know the average person who's who who's not heard about this
shit is just going oh yeah it's the big old sports celebration that's a good time everything's
elaborate international yay but when you do hear about the fucking uh disgusting behavior that yeah
FIFA as well same kind of like disgusting shit um when you hear about all of that noise uh where
they're looking at it now and they're like well if we cancel all the money though but what do
and it's like hey do you think maybe that the international competition where people come
from every country around the world and stand next to each other and then go back to their
respective countries is a bad idea during an easily transmissible and and they all screw
and they all fucking the olympic village do you think it might be a bad idea
no wait wait maybe it depends i gotta look over at how many zeros are over here how many zeros
was that again okay it might be a bad idea but there's a lot of zeros right here are there a
lot of zeros i don't you know shit and then shinzo abe in japan is like hey um there might be a
thing that gets postponed or not we don't know frankly and we're just going to leave it in the
air they'll decide because you know of course um who knows like maybe it's like if you piss them off
now then the next time around the olympic commission in 12 years it was like no japan we won't go to
your fucking country i don't know who knows but they're playing this insane game of we don't know
what we're gonna do about the situation with the whole thing and eventually i think it was yesterday
they kind of they tweeted out something that said because it would not affect the situation in any
way cancellation is not an option and everyone of course went are you fucking high and then he
clarified and said no cancellation is not the same as postponing and it's like okay sure asshole
the point is you can't fucking run it and they're like oh well no statements for now we'll see we'll
see and then um they're just playing this insane game you know where it's such an obvious move but
the greed is showing itself and here's a here's a thing here's an option right you know what you're
talking about when you're like hey it's obvious that companies are fucking full of shit and
they'll bathe in your blood okay that's correct a lot of people probably don't know that the
olympics is fucking horseshit as well but oh i think everybody knows i mean but now you now you
get to see it right they're like should we risk the world getting fucking uh in a worse state
so that we can get paid maybe and then thankfully last night uh while this was going on canada's
olympic team just said hey it doesn't matter whether you postpone it or not we're not fucking going
we ain't going thank god right we're the number one quitters
gold we took the gold we got gold for quit best it's the fucking best proud proud to be a quitter
i love it so uh canada's like yeah it doesn't matter whether you fucking whatever whatever you
decide fuck this we're not going and then that's the entire that's that's the entirety of that
and one can only hope that other countries that feel the same would then be like yeah we're out
to fuck that um but it seems that that didn't have to happen because as of today they've announced
they're postponing it to 2021 oh really so that's good again good we're saved from the
olympics on television for at least another year you know again it's a moment of like
but and you and you have to fucking smack it and go hey hey hey and you smack the olympics and go hey
and they go okay fine but and then you go and then they go okay all right 2021
and they're like come on you're like no bad just you know that it literally takes
like everyone screaming and canada going go fuck yourselves for them to go okay okay fine
but we needed the money yeah yeah here's the thing though right and this is where um
this is where that whole greed thing falls apart for me right this is where i don't understand
because let's pretend that i'm like a fucking money-grubbing scumbag that is willing to risk the
world to get paid and i want to run my electives yeah if i were to say nah fuck it we're going to
keep it on in a couple months time from now and just pretend nothing happened right that's right
i'd like to say let's say canada drops out let's say eventually america follows suit and
australia apparently already backed out wonderful they canceled so like two or three major countries
back out at the minimum a lot more at most whatever right so you have these compromised
olympics where some countries are missing from the situation right you run it anyway
what musical acts are you gonna book for the opening ceremony that would agree to show up
and a endanger everyone and b completely fucking ruin their careers by associating with you
musical acts what people what like like you know the opening ceremonies
they they hire a bunch of like musical acts to come in and perform
but although it's summer here's what i'm saying right
great i'll do it like who's going to fly to japan to be in the stands to do all this in a situation
where everyone is scared right if they were here's the thing you're thinking about this
sorry okay i was i was talking in an orderly thing but the point of the bottom line i was
trying to get to there is if i was a stupid greedy man and i ran it anyway that would make no sense
because people are not going to show up because the situation is one where they don't feel safe to
and you would probably lose money running the event to scale anyways some people would show up
some countries would show up but a whole lot of people would not and it would be the most
hated story happening every single day in the news that the olympics event this ran and that ran
and the entire world will be like everyone go fuck yourselves for the entire duration of those
olympics it would be so negative in terms of pr it would be such a shit show and then financially
no one's going out to fucking watch these events it would make no sense to do it anyway so even if
you were greedy all right situation is spoiled by the by like the static by the current by the
moment by the fucking pandemic the fear is already there all right well okay so i got i got i can
break it down for you because uh i feel like my global cynicism is is bearing some serious fruit
okay one you expect too much intelligence out of those who are just purely greedy okay just you
expect too much from them two the the money grubbing for the olympics the politicians that
are like ah the olympics so we got to do the olympics they don't get cash when people show up
they gave their friends contracts for providing or managing or building the olympics
that money's done it's already it's it it like it's it's essentially already spent
so the only thing that can happen is for no one to show up and then the people who
maybe got some favors done to get those contracts or nothing or some people show up because they're
morons and they do get something
like those deals are done those bribes were paid off already but at a certain point there's the
cost of just running the live event at a certain point there's just like the idea that this like
running the running going forward with it well they've postponed now right but the possibility
that they weren't going to do so it would have been so crippled and nonsense in the wake of like
how many people would not want to show up
i'll see here's the lucky thing is that the olympics are hosted by local governments
so that's all just tax money i guess all i'm saying is that it feels like it's not a choice
it feels like they don't have a choice they're they're hemming and hawing over whether or not to
delay or they were but you don't yeah get to choose that not because it's the right or wrong
thing to do but because if you're doing it in the middle of a time when people are scared to be in
crowds you can't expect this to like do anywhere near as well as you need it to you know and there
will be totally people there i'm not saying no one's gonna show up a bunch of idiots are gonna go
yeah but then but i'm just saying compared to how much it would have been under normal
circumstances it's a fucking ridiculously low percentage you know yeah
so like everybody it's this weird thing where there are a lot of there are a lot of people that
are like oh we're gonna have to cancel whatever right and someone goes okay so we're gonna cancel
it right and then someone yells out no no no don't cancel it maybe maybe it won't be as bad later
and we won't have to cancel it if it starts getting better
tomorrow and they do that every day until somebody just snaps and says dude we gotta cancel it
so the one thing that i think of when we're talking about the olympics let's talk about
something that is more near and dear to our hearts and those of our viewers is evo
evo is still technically on yeah we haven't heard any news right we don't know uh what's going on
right now i mean it's safe to assume it is not but there has been no statement well here's the
thing the last thing that was said was i think by canon a couple weeks ago last week or the week
before it was like currently no plans to cancel uh evo we're gonna wait and see uh and now vegas
is dark yeah and there's no lights and you're not allowed to go into hotel and you know and it's like
and it's like yeah i don't think it might not even be their choice but they're
even even though it's obvious evo's not gonna happen they still haven't cancelled it because
someone is going well maybe it'll turn around so let's wait a second to cancel it now ultra
had a really good stream talking about just like you know the nature of how this is going to
affect the fgc from now on and uh there is in fact going to be a um there's in fact going to be a
whatchamacallit um a huge change to the to the a huge change to the fgc from now on because some
some events won't um won't be able to recover from this by the way pat we have about five minutes left
so um yeah good i know good just so that motherfuckers don't come where to start dancing in their
hey uh uh shout outs to all your favorite melee players uh they will assuredly not deal with the
the current event well uh let's all wish them a speedy recovery um so anyway uh if we want to
touch on something else real quick uh miss ashi kishimoto's new series samurai eight you might
have heard about it it's the thing he made after naruto ended this week uh after 43 chapters apparently
shit was trash yeah i saw some people talking about apparently it got a bit better towards the end
but it took too long to get good so no good that's a shame um lightning did not strike twice rip
apparently uh shinya kumasaki the mysterious director of the of the kirby franchise at the
moment uh was a is a painter and those of us who did not know uh there's not many there's not a
whole there's a lot of mystery right there's a whole lot that's not known about uh him right now
it's always been a like you know not a ton of interviews not a ton known about the kumasaki
kind of guy so now some paintings that he used to that he painted have been found and as shown in
the tweet uh that was put out there um by one credits two uh ricksor 14 their eldritch horror
paintings yeah they're they're all nine eyeballs cracking through the the vagina of reality a small
metanite like circular winged creature with no face and other horrors and it's like oh
why yes of course it all makes perfect sense anyone who's been paying attention oh right yeah
that's why that's why oh right imagine if you were if you were playing a game that was secretly
directed by junji ito but it looked like animal crossing imagine right fantastic fantastic that'd
be great that'd be great um let's also uh just let the people know that uh apparently in a couple
days time there will be some sort of sega tassan shiro related announcement on march 25th uh some
folks were thinking it might have to do with virtual fighter uh don't get your fucking hopes up but
those people are morons everybody flooded my timeline i was like oh my god second it's
sorry it's virtual i'm like no it's the 60th anniversary and also and around the center usually
a sega an an a sega announcement event that hasn't been scheduled yet so it might be around it might
be just that but either way that's a picture of what is clearly sega tassan shiro in a fucking
maybe being resurrected and i dear god hope it really is because uh they need him we need him
now more than ever last but not least and i thought this was pretty fun you hear about f1
i did hear about f1 is canceled so all the all the drivers are going to be racing in the f1
video game by code masters and they're just doing an online online circuit there's going to be some
people that are um they're going to be some people that are uh uh not you not game players and they'll
be given fucking blue shells and power-ups and feathers you know but uh apparently the f1 is
doing an e-sports race and uh that sounds like a great time is this the death of real sports you
can't go outside what the fuck are you supposed to do real sports are super canceled dude e-sports
the the future is e-sports from your from your now everyone has no choice all those people that go
man fuck this street fighter on my espn actually this game is kind of good i'd like to know more
about this kind of game now they have no choice e-sports force down your throat it's either
that or marbles bro dude the marble shit so always been on orange i always been on orange
i don't buy the orange man okay well anyway uh if you want to see more of us and thank you very
much for tuning in you can check out woolly versus on twitch and youtube or
uh you can check out twitch.tv slash pat stairs at on uh on the twitch and just just go get
pat stairs at on twitter and there's a youtube channel i mean check it out guys hey you've got time
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