Castle Super Beast - CSB 065: All Teachers Get One Until It Is Done
Episode Date: April 21, 2020Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Cancel all struggles, the Plight of Karen has arrived. FF7R Second Impressions spoilercast at the end. You can watch us record the podcast l...ive on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: FF7 REMAKE - CORNEO COLOSSEUM (Pre-Battle) Enable two-factor authentication for your Switch account now Kirby devs want the next series installment to be the "pinnacle of Kirby games," also interested in a non-action spin-off and more Tanuki Sunset - This Synthwave Raccoon Skateboarding Game Original Resident Evil 2 Leon Kennedy Voice Actor Paul Haddad Has Died Ninjala open beta set for April 28th, 2020 Danganronpa 'Anniversary Editions' headed to mobile platforms Burnout Paradise Remastered is out on June 19, according to the Switch eShop (Update) The Cooking Mama drama continues, as its developer alleges that the game was unlawfully released early Darts Competition Moves Online, Players Withdraw Because Their Internet Sucks Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
...
Hello. Good afternoon. Well, good afternoon everyone at home. How are you all today?
Well, they can't answer, but I can. Doing okay. That's cool. So I've said a lot of stupid shit in
my life and on this podcast and out there. And a lot of people told me that I should not say
something or that it was bad to say. And I've been told that to not say racist things and to not
use the hard R, but I swear to God, Karen, you will not stop me from saying Karen. Now the question
is how does one not use a hard R with Karen? I don't. Cowan. Cowan. Cowan is the is the one for
Oh, no, Cowan. Did you get a bad batch of eggs at the grocery store? Cowan is the way. Yeah,
that's how you do it. Indeed. Full-throated Karen. Full-throated hard R Karen. That's right.
Full-throated hard R Karen is the new OK boomer. Yes. There's really something about these people.
The boomers. Anyone over 40 really. Just these minor passive aggressive little jokes. Marry
fucking Karen. Yeah, losing their fucking mind. Just after I feel like it's been 15 years of Time
Magazine saying that millennials are destroying the planet or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Yeah,
like like giant splash page of like some asshole behind a computer gone. I can't believe these
millennials in their avocado toasts are killing all the babies or whatever the fuck. Millennials
are standing in the Shinra building looking out as they destroy the planet and suck all the life
from it. But saying but saying like, OK, Karen, you boomer. It's like that's a hate crime. Yeah.
Well, I can't believe it. Well, two important things. One, you're looking at you're looking at
people who, you know, when you ever see the the reaction in the the old kids cartoon of the
super rich kid getting smacked for the first time or getting beat and just having an absolute
hissy fit because they've never experienced this feeling before. You hit me. Joffrey gets smacked
in season one. There's many other examples throughout, you know, whether it's the fucking
Richie Rich movie or whatever else where you see the the spoiled child going, I what is this? My
reality. It's a little bit of that. But it may not you're not allowed to hit me. But that's
happening. They're always this tiny little British Ponce that that's happening later in life for
these people. The second thing. And that's important is that if we're going off of the specific
thing that I retweeted, which is the post notification to millennials to stop using the
K word. That is a single a single tweet account. And the level that the troll level is got here.
It's through the roof because it is clearly a fake account. And it is to care and it is
taking it is taking a real angry word and a real angry concept that has been flying around.
Because we've seen the origins of this idea coming from real angry Karen's online that don't
like the idea of being put into a box because their ideas suck and they're out of shit.
I will say one thing and I do feel genuinely bad for people whose first names become terms of
derision. Yes. Because you can't escape that and you may have nothing to do with it. That
sucks. Perhaps. But at the same time, there is a bit there's something a little bit magical
about the discovery that like, OK, so fuck you, Karen. Originally, she's taken the kids. She's
she's taken half my money. She's gone complaining at Walmart. She's the worst, right? Fine. That's
your little box over here, right? And then you have another thing that you have like
a choosing beggars where it's like, you must give me your Xbox for free because I am a mother
and my child deserves it. And you must also give me the four hundred dollars that you are asking for
because you don't know what it's like swimming story so much. It's the best. It's the best thing
in the world, right? It's a level of entitlement that makes me so giddy because the person's
reality is so like it's such a farce. And so what we get there, right, is this this level of
choosing beggars, right? And then occasionally you get you get wrapped up into there's like the
red. It's like nice guys and nice girls where there's these awful people that are just like
completely just undatable garbage in their attitudes. And what happens is you finally
realize that some of these things are actually just different parts of the same Voltron.
These are different zords connecting into a giant mega zord. And you go, oh my God, holy
shit, the whole time we've been peeking at a choosing beggar, not realizing it's the same
bitch that took the kids, not realizing, you know, that asking for the manager is also that same
super horrible, undatable person. And all of this just fits into a great, perfect package that is,
oh, you're Karen. You're Karen. Well, I have a, I have a, I have a good idea. I have a good idea
for the stream for the podcast for both of our streams. What if we embodied the Karen lifestyle,
got some good knee socks up here, up to our knees, right? And we just say we're not going to start
the podcast until we hit that sub donation amount. What do you even hear watching the podcast if you
don't have $5 to sub? What are you doing? Shouldn't you be working? I have what are you wasting your
time for? What like a blight on society? I've got some socks that go a pretty high up my feet
right now. I got some real big cosies. They're coming up at least to the thighs, at least they're
big and they're thick and they're warm. So I'm halfway there. But you know what my favorite part
about that shit is? Yeah. Is that I am talking about that chick that got in trouble recently.
But you don't even know what you're saying, because what you're saying also literally is just low
tier God. That's exactly what I was getting to. And I see people in the chat going like, oh, no,
that's low tier God. I'm like, I know that you started saying that. And it's like, oh, no,
that's just the that's the other thing, you know, but yeah, yeah, that that was a gem of a clip
where, hey, man, it really what's a sub, right? And then low tier God says to the universe,
I'm not going to go to Evo or CEO unless you guys pay my way. And then Evo and CEO go hold on,
bro, we got you. Yeah, we got you. Don't worry about those donation goals. You're never going
ever again. Well, you know, that clip with the with the with the that's that's like
Karen in the making type ideals. That's not you. That's because you're not quite there yet,
you know, the Karen O Karen, the proto Karen. Absolutely. The there's a there.
There's one that I saw earlier today, which was like a follow up from a different person
that was somebody saying, guys, I've had things on this Amazon wishlist for like a month.
I still don't have them. Hold on. That took a second.
Yeah. What's going on guys? I put these things on there like weeks ago.
Hello. Come on. What's going on? Man. I'd like to take this moment to say thank you to everybody
who listens to this podcast, whether or not you do anything other than listen to the podcast. Boy.
Wow. Yeah. So here's the thing, right? It's it's that like
there's nothing to stop you. Like reality doesn't rush up to hit you in the face
as often as one would hope in these situations because a lot of these people are able to make
it really far into their lives, right? They're able to get pretty far into the quest,
you know, and never, ever, ever realize how badly they've specced out.
I remember it's kind of crazy people in my mid 20s that were still coasting on
just superficial good looks and literally nothing else. Yeah. And all I could think of is
and I'm talking guys and gals as well, but there's no preference here. And all I could think of is
like you better get a meal ticket fast because if you get to a certain point, hey, bro, hey, bro,
who's got who's cool with your shirt off and, you know, and it's like, oh, man, the hair and all
that, there's going to be a point where your bachelor lifestyle starts to fucking fold in on
itself. Johnny die. Yeah, Johnny Johnny with the open shirt and the chiseled abs. Yeah. I mean,
hey, it is what it is. Yeah. If you don't lock it down at a certain point, all that shit that's
cool is going to be profoundly uncool. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm fucking old, man. Well, yeah,
it is. It is definitely such that, like, you know, that is a likelihood, but there's also a very
distinct and clear possibility of one, you know, you just got to land on your sugar daddy slash
sugar mama, right, to do the full on hookups, at least until, you know, they're tired of that.
The other thing, of course, is just that, like, you can actually, obviously, as we know, we bring
this up, I feel like pretty often, but if you are just like shitty enough to most people who are
attempting to be decent in life, you can get pretty far as well, right? It's crazy. Asking for the
manager, there's a reason why that's the that's the go to response, right? It's because up until
that point in time, it has worked. One might assume they have gotten what they wanted out of doing
that. And in many cases, an employee that, well, let's say this was before the time of, like,
having a cell phone recording of some shit, an employee would be like, this is not worth it,
right? And here's the other thing, the old school manager coming out is probably of her
generation and is probably going to chew me out for whatever the fuck she's angry at. And then
she'll just have her way because the customer is always right. So as somebody who had to deal with
many, many, many, many Karen's asking for the manager, there's there's a there's a little
sub piece of that. And that is that it has a cool down on its effectiveness. No matter how open and,
you know, carrying your fucking manager is or whatever to like, oh, the customer is always
right. You do that every week. A month, then they're going to ask you to never come back.
Ever. Because there's only so many free pieces of shit you can give away before the person
becomes a total net loss. Well, it also becomes clear that you you're angling and how you're
angling, you know, like if someone comes in looking for a fight that no one is going to give them,
then I distinctly remember it's a lot harder to get that that fucking con going.
This old bitch came in and was doing her fucking birdseed racket. And like the instance, like
you want to okay, fun, we're going to get the manager. And my manager Lorraine comes out and
she looks at her and she's just like, get out. Yeah. Yeah. Like not not even hello. Yeah. Not
even what's the problem. Just leave. So that's that's the bit right. And so enough time has passed
that like the the, you know, the new employee that is about that is a the Karen is attempting to
steamroll. In many cases, that person has had a chance to possibly become the manager. So there
is still a massive age gap between these people. And that person being being like, yeah, hold on
a second. Yeah, that's me. What's up? What do you want? You know, or worse going in and being like,
hey, yo, Rob, some lady out here wants to talk to you. And Rob comes out and goes, Hey, what's up?
And it's like, uh-oh, this is not going to work. Rob and the person I'm yelling at right now are
pretty much on the exact same page. It ain't going to work out, you know, but, but up until then it
must have at the very least worked out a couple times for it to be cemented in the playbook.
And also the power trip must be like cocaine. It must be like a high in that moment when you're
like, yes, subservience to me. So as somebody who's seen it a million times, you would think
but they don't have the power trip. They that I think that's part of the problem
is that they're like, they win and then they're just as mad that they won because they're like
outraged that people would like Dane to like confront them about it in the first place.
And they carry the indignity of that out the store and it reinforces it like sets up how
annoyed they're going to be at the beginning of the next interaction. It's awful. It's a
fucking lose, lose for everyone, even Karen loses. And thus it makes sense that, you know,
that level of indignation at, you know, the world not crumpling at their feet
leads to the ultimate indignation, which is like everyone is now marginalizing me
by calling me a Karen and saying that this is what I am and whatever. And it's like literally
just like you are embodying it now, right? This this is one final rage against the dying
of the light as there's been a joke that has been put on your head because you're a fucking asshole
and and it's hitting you real a little too real because you know deep down that it's true.
It's it's funny because this used to be Karen just used to be soccer mom.
Yeah, fucking term. Yeah, it did. But soccer mom never got him bad.
And I wonder if that is because the new batch of Karen's are slightly more social
media. They're on social media instead of literally not. Yeah. So there's an archive
of your insanity. And there's there's there's a history of your your complete bullshit and nonsense.
And it's very like, you're not going to fade into an anonymity as much as easily, I suppose,
you know, so. And at the end of the day, it's the same as OK, boomer, where it's just like it's
just a look at this idiot, you know. But yeah, that's kind of the problem. That's kind of the
problem. You are an archetype. It turns out there's a lot of people that are just as indignant as you
and you think that your world is the only one that matters. Your children are the only ones that
matter. And everyone who has like been putting up with your shit for years now is fucking sick of
it. So we're calling you out. That's about it. It's always it's always my favorite thing. So
I follow scrub quotes. I follow. God bless. Struggle tweets. I follow, you know, all these,
all the I follow a significant amount of accounts that are we're going to blur out the person's
name. We're going to put a little clown over their avatar. We're just going to put their tweet up.
Public shame. Anonymously. So it's an anonymous shame. Public shame. Everyone can have a laugh.
But it we're not telling anybody to go and every now and then somebody goes or, you know,
you see people do this like in person. I was like, oh, I knew this guy or a guy in my mentions,
right? And one out of 10 times, somebody shows up and goes, you motherfucker, I can't believe you
fucking put up my fucking tweet. And it's like you do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Like you were so safe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You were so good and and free. And that's what I see for
Karen because I see as a as a white mother, I feel like this Karen thing is like you are
announcing to the world that this stereotype offends you because you're an asshole.
Like the like it is it is built in like a carol and racist. I did not know what's like I didn't
know about struggle tweets. This is this is fucking. Oh, struggle tweets is a nightmare.
Oh, this is why it's nightmare every day. Oh, I'm in there. I'm in there immediately. This is why
how do you not know about the struggle down that shit? I didn't know about this cry. I didn't know
about this. Oh, okay. Today's is really bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't.
I didn't know about this. Okay. It's about the struggle, man. Wow. Okay. Well, yeah, that's in
there. We'll eat you after this podcast. You just go ahead and you scroll. I mean, I've been there's
there's Reddit cringe cringe cringe forums that, you know, you can dive down, but there's some
there's some pretty good ones there. I didn't whoo. If I knew that the last time I had sex was
going to be the last time I had sex forever, I would have gone a little harder. I think
it's so sad. Well, anyway, yeah, there really is something about that that that type of account,
but here's the other thing too, right? And if I'm not mistaken, there was I forgot where,
but I was listening to a podcast where there's someone was describing that like,
our brains are hardwired to like the public shaming kind of like a phenomenon, right? Because
it's in the same way that people watched fucking lions get Christians get fed to the lions
in the same way that like the blood sports of South America would go down and sacrifices
would happen and all these crazy things where like the group will come in and watch like someone
who did something wrong be punished for it and everyone's like, good, fuck that person because
we're all like, it's just a feeling of like, you know, like, ah, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta get you
for doing the bad and for, for, um, you know, like that could have been me. I could have,
you could have taken from me or something like that. And shame is an extraordinarily powerful
motivator. Yes. Yes, it is. And it's also an even more powerful demotivator or deterrent. Yes,
exactly. The mob mentality, the mob justice is deep, deep, deep rooted in us. Reminds me of a,
of a bit in ironically enough, World War Z in which they're talking about like, okay, plants fucked,
we don't have time for jail. There's no time for jail, but we're not going to start shooting people
for stealing food. What do we do? Put them in the stocks for a day with a sign that says, I stole
my neighbor's food. Problem solved. Now, of course, this superpowers people would have no shame.
Yes, there's that, I suppose. And it also gives into mass ignorance and fear and panic can lead
to the worst things in the world. See the bad angry mob of any story, you know, see the beauty in
the beast, see literally anyone, anyone where there's pitchforks being held up while fire is
burning in the background. Hey, man, scarlet letters like 200 years old, that shit's on point forever.
Whereas devil man crybaby is like one or two, three, maybe tops, I don't know. But either way,
that's the bad. Don't don't don't don't mob that way. But anyway, I want to say that the
the accounts that like, tap into that are giving you there, they're giving you the
methadone version of it. You know what I mean? They're giving you the little mmm. Here's someone
here's someone that deserves this, and we're going to spare their name. But just look at this.
Look at this complete ridiculous mother fucker. Look at this. Look at this ridiculous thought
right here. Can you believe someone had this thought and then type it out and then press the
button? They read it back to themselves. It's why one of my favorite memes ever is I forget
the guy's name. I'm very sorry, sir. But it's the audio of one of his videos. And it's look at this
dude. Look at the top of his head. And he just starts like wheeze screaming laughing. And you
just you just put it over any photo of anyone you don't like. And it just kills you because it's
like, look at this motherfucker. Look, look, just look at him. Yeah. Yeah. Look at any shame this
person. Yeah. So you know, um, yeah, fuck off with that, Karen. Fuck off with that. That's
ridiculous. Fuck off, Karen. Go to hell. Karen's are probably losing their minds because they
got to stay inside. They don't have anybody to yell at at the Walmart. Oh, they have all that more
yelling to do online, though. There is there is infinite audience available at all times.
Yeah. But that audience doesn't want to hear it. No, certainly not. And they're not required to
stand there and smile. Yeah. Um, you know, and then there's there's there's the all the variants
of again, the same Voltron, as I described, occasionally will get a a power up in the form
of dragon Megazord. You know what I mean? Where you're like, oh, shit, I didn't realize this
combines to it comes flying out of the sky and then like transforms and lands on top of the
Megazord. And you're like, hold on a minute. Leopards ate my face is another one where it's
just kind of like, it's just the idea of, um, uh, it came from the source of, uh, I can't believe
believe leopards are eating my face. Uh, says woman who voted for the leopards ate my face party.
I see. And the idea basically being just like, I can't believe that karma is coming back around
to bite me in the ass this hard. And I'm currently the person who is, uh, yelling about, you know,
something that I specifically was all for. And now it's, it sucks that it's happening to me type
of. I'm waiting, I'm waiting for the, um, too dark to laugh at version of people screaming about how
we need to reopen malls and shit going out and inevitably getting sick. Well, one of the, well,
dude, the one of the leopard face eating was a lady that was like basically yelling that this is all
a, um, this is all a create a lab creation that, uh, is not real. And we need to get,
we need to stop worrying about the lockdown and get out to church and we need to pray
and just all this and all this stuff and calling people idiots. Just this like ridiculously
aggressive and usual. And it's like, yeah, that lady caught it and fucking died. Yeah. You know,
and you're just like, what are you going to, it's, it's a lot less funny when it ends and people
die. No, it's, it's, but that's the hit. You know, shot chaser. But it does this thing where it's
like, I don't know. I've had this long standing thing where you hear about like local man dies
after shooting gas tank and what he thought would be a prank, right? Um, and you like,
you, and you just, you look at it and you don't, you kind of smirk a little and you just shrug
and you're like, am I, how bad am I supposed to feel? How bad can I possibly feel? What are you
going to do? Stab me says stabbing victim. Okay. See, that's great. That's the best ever. I assume
that guy lived, but, uh, fuck that alligator. Last words of man jumping into alligator.
Fuck those alligators. I don't give a shit. And he gets torn apart, dives into the alligator pit.
You know, I mean, there's only, there's only so much sympathy you could possibly give. There really
is who have, uh, uh, what I would not say a lack of common sense. I would say that their
personality is built on attacking the concept of common sense. Well, that's the problem. At a
certain point I go that it, for me, it goes from a lack of common sense to like, it's a miracle
you've made it this far. And if this wasn't the scenario, it was going to be the next one.
So the one that always comes to mind and I feel like it is the, the best ever in terms of
some people were like, Oh my God, what a tragedy. And I'm just like, man, I don't care and you're
dumb for caring too. It was those three stupid teenagers at the fucking San Diego zoo who threw,
who were spent, who skipped school to spend their day throwing rocks at tigers and the
tiger enclosure. Oh, and then it's super jumps out of the thing. And then the tiger, uh, discovered
that down totally leap like 16 feet in the air off of a little tree. Yeah. It turns out,
turns out that tiger had been short hopping for pressure the whole time, like KOF style.
And all he really needed to do was tap down up and then like the little lines would come off the
back and you know, and, and, and those kids got eaten and fucked up. I think they all died. I'm
not sure, but, and people went, Oh my God, what a tragedy it was. You know the camera pans upwards
and the tigers in the air and you're out of the screen, but there's a little arrow saying where
you are. That's what it was. And then the arrow was like the kids over here and the kid was like,
wait, what? I thought, I thought we're playing, uh, uh, I thought we're playing a like street
fighter too. And it turns out this was Marvel. They're super jumping apparently. You're all aware
that is essentially a monster built to kill you, right? I think everyone's currently aware.
Yeah. Like it's, it's like, what are you?
Yeah. If, if, if the answer to the question, what are you fucking stupid is no, I'm dead. Yeah.
There's only, there's only so bad you can feel. There's a really rough one.
Um, there's a really rough one where this, these kids are playing with a poisonous snake
or sick and they're saying, or like, they're saying the thing that is like supposed to be
the mnemonic to say this one's poisonous and this one's not, but they know exactly what it is.
It's a coral snake and it's, uh, red on black. You're okay, Jack. Red on yellow. You're a
dead fellow. Yeah. And, but they were doing it wrong. Something about the way they were doing
it was just super not right. And they're fucking with this thing and then it bites the kid and
then he immediately starts panicking and going, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. And I'm just like,
Oh my God, this is the worst. You fool. And you're like, and like, and then like in the end,
it seems the kid was fine, right? But like it's these moments where you're just like,
why would you even put yourself in this situation? You know, like, and obviously being younger,
you're an idiot. You know what I mean? But like, dear God, like the moment you realize I created
this world, I came in and I laid the bricks and the mortar and I put the fucking, you know,
I put it all together and I sat in the house and then I was like, Oh, this is the house I built.
Of course, this would happen here. As somebody who is related to somebody who can't think more
than 10 seconds in advance, there is an entire genre of people that cannot see 10 seconds into
the future. Genre. Genre of people. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Let's just, uh-huh. It's a flavor.
Found lack of foresight. Profound. The genre of people is most easily seen in the bully.
The bully who attempts to fight someone loses and their response is how dare you.
Right. How dare you kick my ass, you son of a bitch. I'm going to come back with my buddies
and get you. And it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's actually no progression of events. It is
entirely based on the internal, uh, internal feelings. Yeah. The fight, the fight videos
where the bully gets fucking moped and then, you know, has to then reclaim some dignity
and just kind of acts like, like, I can't believe you've done this afterwards kind of thing.
In some cases, if this shit, like in some cases, the bully's friend is like filming it
and the bully's friend goes, ah, you fool. You thought you could, but you didn't,
which adds a little layer onto it in the end. But like, yeah, there's more than a couple of those,
you know? I want to respond to a comment that I just saw, which I'm sure a lot of the audio
listeners will appreciate either. Last week, I said the tigers are just big cats. And this week,
I said the tigers are dangerous murder animals built to kill you. There is no contradiction here as
I'm holding a house cat right now. This is a tiny animal built to kill you,
but it is too small to do so. But he would. The tiger is the same. It is just bigger.
If they had had the ability, it would. Yes. I mean, shit, my hands are covered in slashes.
There you go. He is too small. I am too big. He cannot beat me.
And that's what's scary, I suppose, is the fact that it's like, that's still in there,
you know, and then sometimes it's love. Oh, it's totally still in there.
And then sometimes it's not, but whatever, you know, and at the end of the day, life goes on.
But what you got in terms of these these types of videos, too, is I remember there's a great one
of like, I think it's a dude on a motor on a bicycle or a skateboard. I forget the circumstances,
but like some dude in a car like is yelling at him, some old man in a car is yelling at him.
And then eventually the guy gets out of the car and starts running after the dude,
but he clearly can't catch up. And the dude is filming as he's running away and the dude and
the old guy just trips and fucking each shit on the sidewalk. And it's just like,
why were you chasing someone violently? You idiot, like, you know, you get to see like,
like that's the bully being corrected by the earth as opposed to, you know,
the person getting picked on in that scenario. I'm a big, a big fan of car clips in which people
try and tailgate people or cut people off and and in so doing, crash their cars.
Hmm. Just like, haha, I was going to cut you off and I beat the red. Oh, I flipped my SUV.
Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Get fucked, asshole. No, it really is.
Anyway, there's some there's really that thing of like, it's the same energy of like, when the
thief gets caught, you know, or like any other version of like, I clearly did the bad thing.
And then I have no escape where the person just doesn't even know what kind of energy
to put out anymore, because it's like, there's no like playbook for this. There's no playbook
for getting out of this situation. And they're definitely not going to back down the escalation.
So it's just a whole lot of yelling and anger and a whole lot of just you got to, you know,
there's a whole lot of energy that's got to come out, but it's not going to lead to winning any
harder. So, you know, here you get to rage and scream on the ground is like three people pin
you down or as like, again, you got your ass beat, but you couldn't like, you're clearly not going to
come back in for seconds after you realize it's not going to work. So this conversation has just
awakened a thought in my mind in which I want to say I want to give a big shout out in case
they happen to be listening. They're probably too old to understand a computer to many of my
professors and teachers and that I went through school with because I just had a thought which is
you ever see a video of kids fighting and one kid's clearly the bully and he's been a little
shit, right? Like 10 year olds. I think back and I'm like, at least one teacher that I knew in my
life saw that going on and thought to themselves as I am thinking right now, yo, that kid's pretty
small. I could just punch them so hard in the face. If I just fucking punch this kid in the face
super hard, they would, I would ruin them. They would bully no one ever again. Oh, the winner.
You mean not the winner, just like the antagonist, like the bully, like all the way up to like,
14 or 15, like, you know, just some shit kid. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the teachers watching
they go, okay, kids, let's split it up. Let's come on. It's not good. But I bet a couple of them
were like, I could just fucking throw this kid out a window and just stomp them. It'd be so easy.
And they didn't because you can't. But but what if you did though?
Oh, that kid would bully no one ever.
Um, I mean, bam, right in the face, break the stupid little kid's nose. He grows up with like a,
like a nasally voice now.
Yeah, like, it's got to be not unlike, I don't know, let's say a large football player in the
NFL looking at a PE league and just like it in their hands. Oh man, if I could get out on that field,
they'd see what's what William Perry look William Perry looking at a fucking at a fucking a PE
league. Just being like, just put me in for one play. I'll teach these kids what's what AKA the
refrigerator. What's his name? That's an incredibly specific. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Uh, yeah, definitely, definitely. You know, but the other problem too. And of course,
this is where like, you know, the, um, the after school special goes to show you that like, hey,
man, that bully, let's go follow him home and find out why he's a bully. You know, where did that come
from? And it's like, Oh, did it come from like shitty, shitty upbringing? Did it come from like
the same thing being done to him? So that's how he interfaces.
Maybe, you know, I feel like I have a fairly unique perspective on this as I am somebody
who, uh, I have a degree in psychology, you could think it or not. I'm a well educated person.
And I was also horribly relentlessly bullied. And I can look back in time and I look at
Corey and Matthew and Ryan and I go, Oh yeah, those kids had it fucked up at home. You could tell.
Like, you know, you look back at the signs in the past and you're like, Oh yeah, Matthew's dad was
like a fucking asshole and probably didn't love him at all. And I'm pretty sure Corey's dad hit him
or whatever. Yep. And, uh, and I don't care. Right. I don't care. I don't think anything could ever
make me care. Right. Ever. No one cares. No one at the fuck those kids at the end of the day,
at the end of the day, you make your decisions. At the end of the day, you, you choose what you do
and you live by them one way or the other. Pretty much, you know, but, uh, but there definitely,
there definitely is like in many cases that, that sort of like, okay, well, this is how the
dominoes fell into this place. And, and, and guess what? In every horrible person's case,
you can see how those dominoes fell into place. But oh, usually at some point you, you know,
you, you pick a left, you had a fork in the road. So I gotta say the, the after school
special that you're talking about of like, you know, and it was very common. Stranger things even
does that. Yeah. It's like, you know, the bully is actually, you know, his dad beats him or his,
you know, his mom doesn't love him or whatever the fuck. Um, those don't actually have as much
basis in reality as you would expect. Uh, some studies came out a little while ago that shows
that bullies, contrary to the folk wisdom, usually have tons of confidence and a positive
self image. And that allows them to feel that they're better than people and just pick on kids.
Like a bunch of, uh, like the majority of bullies are just assholes in training.
For sure. I, I never would have assumed that, uh, they would have,
they would be missing those things. I, if anything, I would assume that like,
they realize that like this is how you get what you want is by having them.
And then then they grow up to assholes who trade, uh, you know, physical violence for
economic intimidation or, you know, workplace gossip or, you know, whatever the fuck it happens
to be. What I'm saying is that if a, if a teacher catches a bully, they should have the right in
their career. Every teacher gets one, they get one, just one for free. And then we'll see how
society shakes out a couple of years. Okay. But, but we'll just, we'll just see how it goes.
But how much damage is it allowed to do though? What kind of numbers are we talking?
You get one, you get one. But to what degree? That's the end of the policy.
That there's the one what you get one. Cause one can be like, you know, your best shot
on a Monday and one can be I'm sitting in my vehicle. Okay. Okay. What is one? You get one
non item based bodily action. Okay. Whatever that happens to be.
It can be a push, a punch, a kick, a throw, a nudge, a trip. Now here we go. Let's hit that.
Let's hit that, that, that fine print. Uh, a submission hold has no predetermined time.
It does. A submission hold can be held. It has a predetermined end. It does.
If you want there to be an end, the submission hold is so that you will submit. But if the person
who's performing the hold does not care about your, I can't hear it. I can't hear it. I get what?
What? The person really loud about the room. It's really loud. You understand? Yeah. It's so loud.
It's what, what I, oh, oops.
Oops.
You get, you get, you get one and then the teacher presses all four buttons and goes into instant
kill mode. Now what? Now are you sure you want to give them one? Uh-oh.
Just have somebody walk up to the kid and tell them to block his tension gauge changed.
Uh, boy. Yeah. How was your week?
Yeah, I was all right. Uh, pretty, in terms of podcast shit, fairly dull. I played a lot of
Persona 5 Royal, which is good. I played a lot of FF7 Remake, which is good. I, uh,
watched some Will and Grace with Paige. Paige maintains being an incredible cook.
I thought about going back in time as my current self and just punching out a bunch of children.
Speak well. Someone just said, someone just said like, oh, yeah, like, yeah, what about them glory
kills? And it's just like the child is flashing orange and is all staggered. The bully is like,
oh, it's like, uh-oh. If the teacher clicks the button, what happens right now?
The teacher uses their right leg to kick the kids feet out from under them. And as they fall,
they use their left arm to punch them down into the dirt. It's not going to be good.
It's the best, it's the best glory killer from Doom 2016.
Until it's done. Until it's done. Until it's done. Until it's done. Until it's done. It's over.
Just, just, uh, keep this system up until society improves.
You know what? You know what? You know how there's always a teacher shortage?
You know, people don't pay teachers enough. Bet you there won't be no teacher shortage if we institute
this new rule. Yeah, people going through their career 20 years, going, oh, I'm just, I'm, you know,
I'm saving it. You know, Billy Jimmy back a couple years ago, oh, he was a real fuck. Oh, he could
have been, oh, yeah, oh, no, but this one, oh, this little piece of shit. I'm just waiting. I'm just
waiting. And you know what? Having the kids live in fear because, hey, you're going to,
you're going to go to Mr. Johnson's class. You know Mr. Johnson hasn't cashed his in yet, right?
Class, we have a substitute teacher today. You better behave. Everyone say hi to Mr. Gracie.
Hello, Mr. Gracie. Oh God. Hey, it's my, it's my first day of substitute teaching.
Um, I hold on. I need you all to be witnesses. I'm going to sign the, the wrongful death disclaimer.
Okay, here we go. Done. All right. Let's learn about some math fuckers.
Only one until it's done until it's done.
Oh man.
Kids are awful. A lot of kids are great, but the bad kids are worse than even the most
like unbelievable adult. Like you look at, you look at bad children and you go, oh,
you would kill everyone in here if you could get a candy for it. You have no morals.
That you, you are, you are an amoral psycho little gremlin fucker. Yeah. The fake rules of
the world have, have not been installed yet. Yes. Basically the fake rules of the world
are the only things that are supposed to keep those people from doing that. And, uh,
they're still in the process right now. So there's all the process of having that drilled it.
So in the meantime, you're just getting it raw, unfiltered, you know.
So yeah, played persona, played FF seven. Hey, go guess what? Those games are great.
Watched along Grace's page. New seasons are good. Thank God that show left for like a million
years and came back and it's just as good. It's like it never, it's like a, it's like a Naruto-esque
time skip. It's really bizarre. I can't think of any sitcoms that did that.
We'll talk about more FF seven at the end. We'll give a little spoiler cast part two.
I don't even really have all that much to say other than it's good and that the,
the track do recompense is incredible. I had that is
it's the song that plays in the passage when you fight the goons. Beck's Badasses.
Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay.
That one, but it's been remixed and it would like a dance. Oh my God. It's
Oh, it's fucking incredible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, there's, there's any, I have a couple of thoughts we could throw at the end a little
bit. Yeah. Anything else? No, really didn't have a whole lot going on. I'm going to be beaten.
FF seven this week for sure. So, and I assume you will too. Cause we're both the exact same place.
Yeah. Give or take about a minute. I was getting really worried because
after a stream, not the last one, but the one before I scrolled down and it's like a,
you know, woolly wolves is playing FF seven and we'll earn these achievements and they were
hitting achievements and I'm like, shit. Okay. Fuck. You're doing cleanup.
It's like, I then I, yeah, I, the game is clean. Yeah. The game's clean. So the game is clean right
now. Okay. Um, well, uh, yeah. So we'll, we'll, I have a couple of thoughts. So we'll talk about
that at the end a little bit. It'll be a bit shorter, but it'll be a midway through the game
spoiler cast. There's one thing actually come to think that, yeah, there's a very,
there's a very clear one that I think is worth discussing and then there's a couple of small
ones. But, um, right now this is, um, end of chapter 14 beginning of chapter 15 cast. So that
will be at the end of the episode today. Um, all right. To jump back to bullies for a second,
because everybody loves that topic. Something that came to mind is, um, a great story, uh, by, um,
one, uh, Troy Kwan, who is, uh, one half of the members member, uh, what up danger?
The, uh, the song from spider man. Um, no, from the, from spider verse. It's the song that plays
when, uh, Miles is rising. No. Okay. Well, when Miles has his big moment, there's a really cool
song that plays and, uh, black caviar is the group behind it. And, uh, one half of that group,
is this dude who told a story about, uh, in his childhood, he basically, um,
he used to get, uh, picked on and beat up like constantly, like to, to like bloody nose levels
by, by this billion whatnot. And like his point of like, uh, fuck this. I can't take it anymore
was just exploding and like launching himself onto the kid and, uh, doing a ground and pound,
right? But doing it with such panic and fear that he was snotty and crying as he was punching.
And, and it went, and he went so hard that while he was on top of the guy crying, he shit his pants.
Yeah, I would never, I would never want to pick on that kid. He shit his pants while
grounded, pounding the, the bully and, and, and, and crying and snotting up with extreme,
just absolute, like everything's coming out. Everything's coming out of all sides.
Don't pick on that kid. You don't know what's going to happen.
That was the end of that. You can't, it's too, you can't, you can't return to that fight.
That is that, that you completely de-aggro that situation, right? The limit break that is,
I'm going to attack you, swing and cry and scream and shit my pants on top of you
as I punch you in anger and rage. And you just, you don't want to go down that road anymore.
And that was the end of his, his, uh, his bullying. You know, I'm, I'm coming to think of it back in
the day, back in grade nine is when it started to taper off, which fuck, that was a while.
But the reason why it started to taper off is somebody like trashed all my shit in a classroom,
like they stole my books from underneath my desk and like destroyed all of them.
And I was, I just like really calmly picked all of them up and just was like, yeah, no,
it's no, no, no, you know, that kind of attitude. Um, and then people became like afraid that I
was going to come to school and stab someone because I wasn't like crying or getting angry.
Right. And, uh, that worked out. Just, just kept, I'm like, oh, if anything bad happens,
just act like detached and apart and people will be afraid that, uh, you know, you'll stab them
and then they'll stop bugging you and it totally worked.
That's, yeah, I did not stab anyone. That's not the question. It's more so it's
like, were they incorrect to assume this possibility? You know, yeah, it's, it's,
it's definitely a, an instant reaction in, in like, oh, that's not what I expected to happen.
What the fuck does that mean? You know, that's, that's a good, that's a good trick.
That's a good trick. That'll, that'll, that'll end. Um, anyway, so, uh, that being said,
uh, Ralph, Ralph level three, a super desperation moves aside with shit with, with shit involved.
Yes. Um, for me again, yeah, mostly FF seven. So, you know, uh, that, that talk comes at the end,
but, uh, all right. Well, if, if you want to see me finish FF seven and play some P five R and
maybe XCOM Chimera squad this week, check out twitch.tv slash Pat stairs it. I hear they're
leaning into the snack. Yeah. Did you see the interaction friend of the podcast, Plague of
Grypes Eli had with like the designer of the characters in XCOM too? I did not. I'm just
seeing memes that are saying, Hey, it looks like, uh, you don't have to sell out humanity for that
jet pack because humanity joined, uh, the other side and they're doing it for snack strip bars.
The, the guy who designed the snack in XCOM too, went up on the Twitter and was like,
you know, when I designed the snack, I had no idea that there were people who are out there
into snack women. What a world. And our, our pal Eli just goes, uh-huh. Which leads to, yeah,
no one believes this dude. And he had a, he had a follow up tweet. It's like, listen, I'm not
saying anything. I'm just saying I didn't know. And everyone's like, no, you did. When I designed
Minerva mink. Yeah. I, you know, I was just like, what's a good color? What's a good color offset
for a white mink blonde, right? Okay. Minks are smooth. Right. I got it. All right. I had no idea.
Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people don't know what Minerva mink is. It's a tiny tunes character that
really like, whereas, uh, what do you call it? Whereas fucking, uh, Robin Hood lit the flame.
This was like some gasoline on the fire. Uh, and, and, and lest we forget
Animaniacs. Oh, whatever. It's the same shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then the last we forget, uh,
Osamu Tezuka and his secret drawer of sexy mice that he drew for himself. He drew himself some
sexy furry mice, but only for him though. No one else must see them. You see that fucking,
you see that fucking stupid meme of, uh, I want to fuck a rabbit through time. No. And it, and it
goes, um, it goes Jessica rabbit. Then it goes Lola bunny. Then it goes that chick from Zootopia.
And it's just like, what the fuck happened? It's like, you know what happened. You know what happened.
Yeah. So. Yep. Um, so what I was going to say is, uh, so all that went down this week and, uh,
besides the, besides, uh, FF7 remake, uh, Guilty Gear Strive, CBT. Big CBT. I,
I got into that CBT, uh, and then I looked online and saw people, uh, screaming that the
lobby was so terrible they had been trying for hours to get a match and then decided not to
even bother. So it turns out there's a trick to getting a match. That's, yeah. That's stupid,
what you just said. You're not stupid for saying it, but it's stupid that you did.
Fuck. Um, it sucks, man, that like the fucking, it sucks that like we're getting, we're currently,
well here's that we're in a, in a world where like the lobby system we have in this game is
completely failing and the ones that we had before this was fine. It worked fine. Just sitting at the
cabinets in excerpt. I've used a lot of, uh, lobbies in Arc System work games and they're all
too much, but most of them work pretty well. So you could, there's menu searching, right? At the
end of the day, you can still, um, use the menus to, uh, find a match and then just hit join or
search or whatever. And it's just a list of names, but like for, uh, for everything else, if you want
to, there is the lobby system where you walk up to a cabinet, sit at it and then someone else approaches
and then it's very clear that you're about to engage in a game. Uh, you're, you just have to
wait to ready up and the cabinet system was then brought into, uh, Grand Blue. So it works there
as well. And, uh, in Dragon Ball Fighters, they did this, uh, ring thing where a person has to
walk to a random area of, um, the lobby and create a ring and then you walk into it and then that
kind of becomes a lobby, but it just didn't, it didn't, it's not as clear and as concise as like
sitting at a cabinet, you know, and even like the visual information of showing like, Hey,
this is who I'm going to be matched up with is, um, lost when you take it to this ring system,
right? A little bit. Yeah. Now you take it to, uh, what Strive has and what Strive has is, uh,
two sidescrolling piece of shit, maniac mansion style, um, little, uh, you know, sprites that it's
like you can dress them up and the idea of visually, sure that it's cute. You can do that
style. There's nothing, you know, there's nothing wrong with that, but taking away, uh, the cabinets
was a bad idea because now you have to hold, you have to pull your sword out to show that
you're readied up to fight and then you have to walk to someone else who has their sword out
and then you have to kind of stand at a distance from each other and like let it automatically
start trying to match make you. But while you do that, other people walking by might start
matchmaking as well. And then you're not sure who you're matching with and in a whole bunch of cases
you end up searching for and then failing to connect to many people that are all standing in
a crowd because you can't tell who you're trying to face. It is like you took a vision.
What's, what's wrong with setting up a list of lobbies and then clicking on the lobby
and then going in the lobby and then readying up in the lobby? Absolutely nothing. It worked in
excerpt. What is wrong with that? I'm talking about like street fighter fucking four or any
of that type of lobby where it's literally just a list of, hey, how many people are in this fucking
room? Six? Okay, I'll join all these seven. I'll wait for my turn. Like it's so stupid. I'm not,
I'm not gonna, I'm not hating on the visual lobby idea. I think that can work fine because we've seen
it work, right? Like the idea of just having a little cute avatar walk around, you know,
blaze blue and cross tag they have it. Like it's like, it's the same thing where you just like,
yeah, you, you know, you have a little virtual world to do little cute interactions and dress
up your guy and stuff like that. That's fine. That's fine. I have no problem with that. I like
that. I think that that should stick. That should stay. You know, it's just when it comes down to
the core mechanic of the matchmaking, you can't let this design make it harder to get into a match.
It has to be as easy as it always was, if not easier, while also introducing this fun
little like extra. Hey, I'm going to hold up my keyboard to the microphone.
And I want to use an example here. Here's how easy it should be to get into a fighting game match.
That was me slapping the spacebar. Quick, quick fight. That's it. Yeah, quick match. That's it.
Should be, should be. So all this to say that like that didn't work. And all this is, you know,
I think going hand in hand with the, the, the stuff we heard about rollback will exist in
the final version, but this was the delay based code that they initially had for this demo. So,
you know, I think, I think we're going to probably see at least in terms of game, you know, the
matches were like, we're in for better, a better online experience, but in general, this design
idea needs to change. They need to, they like, it's not working out. That was a mess. It turns
out the trick to getting a match is to sheath your sword, walk up to someone who's already
have the, has their sword out and then directly challenge them. This is so stupid. So you have
to walk up to a person, press a button to pull up their profile menu and then issue a challenge
that way. And if you do it, if you issue a challenge that way, you have a much more consistent rate
of, of getting a match in there. They, they, I don't know what's going on with excerpt because
the game looks incredible, but everything about its interface and like menu system is,
do you mean strive trash fire? You mean strive? I do mean strive. I do mean strive. So the,
the UI, I don't know what's going on. So the UI and the menus have changed.
Not enough. They've changed. Total overall needs a total read.
It really, it's like, we are so close. Like the game is gorgeous in action. It is like,
you know, it stopped you in your tracks beautiful, but it's just right now, like packaged in this
idea that is failing community to communicate points. And I mean, like, it's got a bad life bar
for fuck's sake. It's got a bad life bar. It's got a bad everything. Everything about the UI is
just not succeeding, you know, and the change up like, you know, when we were kind of told that
it was like, Hey, this is all a temp. It's all a bit of a work in progress. The hope was that we
would see if I saw here's if I saw a change that was drastically different, but also bad,
I would be like, well, they're, they're willing to go from A to fucking Q. You know what I mean?
So okay, they're willing to shoot in a bunch of different directions and see how this lands,
but they didn't change it that much from what it was the first time we took a look at it,
which means that they're kind of, it feels like they're kind of sticking with it for now. And I,
and I really, really don't think I don't, I, I don't get it. This is the same company
that put out persona for arena ultimax that has the coolest, sickest hide most consistent fighting
game interface that's ever existed. Did they fucking forget? Not, you know, and also like the
weirdness of like, you know, I mean, not having a rematch button when the system itself was like
not working that great. It's like, fuck, that could have alleviated a lot of pain. But like,
Oh, did they not have a rematch button? No, no, there's no rematch button. So what is going on?
So, you know, like, like this online feature, I don't know how quickly it was put together.
I don't know how fast this, this online system was built. But yeah, it's just a,
it's a bad system. The coolest thing it has going for it is that the tower of skill that you make
your way through has a bunch of album has a bunch of album names as the song and album names as the
different floors, you know, but this beyond making your way through this giant Tartarus of skill,
it's like, yeah, man, that's not that's failing. And then the game itself has this menu system
that's still too bright, too clean, not enough grit, not enough gear, not enough deals to be
filthy, not enough rock and roll, not enough metal, not enough anything that should be, you know,
a part of what this, this, this game is about and what part of why we love it. So like, I,
I really hope that we see really drastic changes after this, but it feels like the changes we've
seen based on the feedback have been minor for this build, you know, and people want like a full
180 in some cases. That being said, you know, you get to the gameplay and I'm still having a ton
of fun with it, still really enjoying what's going down. Damage is still an issue that needs to be
addressed. There's some ridiculous, ridiculous tweets that you can go watch of people getting
like almost touch a death or touch, like that just needs to like that. That's, that's, that's
ridiculous. The Potemkin breakdown video is hilarious.
Watching Potemkin do a potbuster and then reset it to a chip and then resetting him into a, into a
heavenly and you're like, Oh yeah. Well, you made too bad guesses. That's the end of you.
Everyone, you're playing Makoto third strike every match.
Um, but there's, there's some really, really cool shit happening with like Faust now is just
this zombie that goes cool and has like the, the, the creepiness on his bag face is like,
the bag itself is giving off an ominous energy because it has like some weird markings beneath
the eye. He's got like an evil red eye coming in. Yeah. And he doesn't speak. He just creaks and
cracks and pulls shit out of his face and vores you. I wonder what happened to Faust.
Dr. Baldhead. He's a bad guy. Dr. Baldhead is fucking dead, man. He's gone. Yeah. Dr.
Baldhead's dead and then Dr. Baldhead pretending to be Faust is also gone and and now Faust is dead
and now who the fuck like, what is this? He's got a really fun move in the form of the afro.
Now you, now when he gives you an afro, it makes a giant one that you can actually use
to hurt, to hit the character easier. So you can do afro specific combos on characters or
light the afro on fire. The afro state extends your hitbox to be chunky and in fighting games,
when you have a bigger character or like a bigger hitbox, it means that there's certain
combos and certain things that will be much easier to do to you than it would be to like a small
character. Fucking goofball, man. It's great. Really fun stuff with that. Just, just everything
outside of that, you know, everything outside of what's happening in the game and the damage
that's happening in the game as well. You know, we just, we just need to put it back in the oven,
guys. Please, please, please, please. It's so close to being like the fucking sickest shit
ever. Well, luckily, there has never been a better time to delay everything than right now.
So yeah, but you know, there are cats and squirrels going fucking crazy outside my fucking window.
Huh. They, they also did fixed, they fixed the, the issue with the Drift RC, where you
couldn't do it without the button dash before. Now you can tap forward, forward, Roman cancel,
and then you will move in the direction of forward or whatever direction you tap before
you hit the button, you can do it on the stick now. So that's like, okay, it's now it's in there,
you don't have to map this extra button. So that's great. Basically, the problem with the early
version of the game I was describing has, there was a new system in place where if you look at any
guilt of your strive footage, you'll see some moments where the screen goes dark and it looks
like the character is kind of like, they're canceling or whatever move. And there's, you see
that like an after image, like a ghost image behind them and they're sliding in a direction,
right? So you'll see like, soul will start to do like a, an uppercut and then he'll like
slide forward with like a ghost after image and then close the distance and keep doing a
different combo. It's a cool new system that looks really, really fancy. And like in order to do it
in the past, you had to map an extra button onto your controls because it required you to input
that extra button plus your normal like cancel input. And so now they fixed that so that you
don't have to use that extra button. That's, that's basically the, the layman's explanation of what's
happening there. And yeah. And so that, that's, that's good that that got fixed. But you know,
there's still a couple of other things we need to, we need to address with this game.
Music is fucking rad. We got a new song. Of course it is. Of course we got a new song. We got the
most positive thing that I've seen out of the beta is people ripping the soundtrack going, oh my
god. Fausts has a stage that's awesome. It's a bunch of flying Buddha ships. Just statues are like
these, whatever the fuck you want to call it. It's, it's like take a kuma stage in, in, you know,
in four or like any of those like temple stages in a fighting game. But imagine the giant Buddha
statues are like flying in the sky. It's, it's crazy. It's awesome. It's beautiful.
You know, and, and I'm still, I'm still always in on mankind knew that they cannot change society.
You know, like that thing is just hitting so hard every time. One of the best is
Sol versus Faust in that is like, you got the whole, so they blame the beasts bit.
And then Faust drags himself up, creaks his hand and just points at Sol and Sol just goes,
that's heavy. Round one, you know, like having a hell duel. Yeah, let's rock. It's just like
fucking sick. I'm like, yeah, that, that, that all works out. Like everything on that level of
the game is, is, is firing. And I just love those characters. Amazingly. They're great. They really
are. They really are. I, I, I really, really hope they, they, they, you know, they swerve
on this because there's so much cool shit happening and it would be such a shame for these
easy, easy, the hard part is making the game look that good. The easy part is making a life bar
that doesn't suck. It would be such a shame to fucking trip over that or the online. Here's hoping
they keep striving forward. Strive for CBT. There we go. Get the cage out.
You know about the cage. I don't wait. No, I do. Yep. There you go.
There you go. No, I'm good. You thought you were good. Nope. Don't knock it till you tried it.
Hey, Willie, did you play any, uh, like online games where you'd have a team with you lightly?
Not lately. No. Um, I've been, I haven't played any online games really, uh, in a while.
The reason I ask is because I was talking with some friends of mine who play 14 and they also
play some League of Legends and stuff like that. And they have, uh, described a new term going around
invented by a friend of mine, uh, which is, uh, the quarantine boomer.
Hmm. Um, if you run Duty Finder in 14, people are shit right now. Oh, situations bad.
People are trash right now. Okay. Okay. Apparently it's the best time to ever get into League of
Legends because everyone is terrible because everyone who doesn't actually play these games
regularly is fucking bored and playing them. Yep. Um, like it is so, so much worse than usual.
I am finding a lot of, like in that I can relate to that because I am finding a lot of steamroll
matches in Tepin right now. Yeah, I bet. I fucking bet. Tepin matches are complete jokes
until they're not. Um, because I'm, because, uh, my current ranking is a 928. So I'm for the most
part being matched with, you know, uh, um, like pretty fucking serious contenders,
but every once in a while when it's like, Hey, there's no one else around. You're
going to fight someone in like B one or something. And it's just like, Oh boy,
you, you don't know what's going on in this game yet. You know, you're, you're, it's, yeah.
It is this, like it's, it's one of two things. This is mass influx of new people like never
before. And in games like an MMO where, I mean, you have to be a certain level, it's people who
got to cap, dropped it, dropped it for like a year. At this, right? Yeah. At the same time.
And then it's like, well, what, I'll re-sup. I'm gonna go, whatever. At the same time, um,
it's also bringing out like the worst in like, uh, games that are not rollback. For example,
Grandblue has become a fucking wifi fest for a lot of people and, uh, it fucking sucks. Reggie,
who got a copy is like, dude, I tried playing. I couldn't get any decent matches going. And like,
at some point I tried connecting to my friend who was also in Montreal and we couldn't get a decent
match going. Like it's, it's just the worst, you know, like in it, like it's, it's a bad system
and it has now bad people connecting to a bad system. Have you seen the tweet that I retweeted
a little while ago that was, Wi-Fi players are absolutely the people in that zombie movie who
would hide the fact that they have a zombie bite and it is this increasing thing of people running
these fucking, it's usually online tournaments where online tournaments when you have a problem
running your set, you're allowed to request a, um, integrity check. You're allowed to request
an integrity check so that, um, the person, uh, you fought against, you can prove that they're
not on a fucking Wi-Fi connection or some shit, right? And then it's like time after time, it's
both dudes going, yo, this guy, this guy, it's got, I mean, I have a wired connection, right?
I'm single problem. It's, it's, it's, it's the, it's the, uh, you know, we talked about the,
the fucking ref, uh, the ref camera button in the NFL where it's like, you can call it,
spend a time out, make the ref go review the footage, you give that power to the player. So now
someone is like, if I can use this to not, to not, if I can lie and not get the fuck, uh,
not lose, then I'll do it. So both players are like, I'm requesting a picture from that guy set
up to make sure that, uh, you know, he's on a Wi-Fi cause the connection was terrible and,
and it, it always breaks down to the turning point. And the turning point is the TO whoever
it is to say, well, there's only one way to solve this. You take your phone and take a
fucking photo of your ethernet adapter or whatever with like your username next to it.
So you can't just go get some generic photo and send it to me right now.
Always, always, always breaks down. It's like, okay, well I lied. I, yeah, I'm using Wi-Fi,
but I haven't had a single problem. I haven't had a problem until now.
It's, it's that guy's fault. And then the other guy is like, yeah, okay. So I kind of,
well, you know, I kind of made up that shit earlier about my own connection, but his thing
was, it was shitty. And you're like, they both lied to say that they had a wired connection
when they were both on Wi-Fi and they both requested an integrity check of each other.
And now they're both disqualified.
If you're going to, so, uh, hey, a little piece of advice for somebody who's never
TO'd anything in their life. If you're going to run an online tournament, which there's
plenty of time to do that now, part of the signup process is take a fucking photo of your
ethernet connection. Maintain the integrity of the fucking.
Yeah. But also don't just say username in the photo with, uh, with a picture. Also,
tell them to go get an orange or tell them to go get, you know what I mean? Or something.
You need a unique, like a toilet brush. You need a unique, you know, you need a unique
qualify, a unique, uh, aspect so that it's not a, a, yeah, like a faked or whatever preset photo.
Peace sign in the thing, you know, whatever. Literally, like, how about this? Like, and if
you like, or just show your controller with you holding down the square button, you know,
like whatever the fuck or your pat, your stick, some weird shit, but just something to make it
clearly you. And then you go, Oh yeah, there you go. There it is. You're wired in, you know,
it's extra bad, uh, was smashed, but that's because like the ethernet adapter is separate.
It's a separate purchase, which sucks. But I, I guess I understand with the switch because
it's got the, I mean, I don't even know where the ethernet cable will go. Once again, I'm going to
take the opportunity to tell people about a power line adapter, which is a, uh, uh, something you
can buy, uh, which, uh, you know what mine, it's whatever to have one over there, but it's literally
a, uh, you plug your, uh, modems, you have your modem in the wall and you go from your modem to
your router or both, if it's the same device, whatever, uh, ethernet into the power line adapter,
power down adapter plugs into your outlet of your wall and then, uh, somewhere else in your house,
uh, it, it has a receiver. I have no idea how that works. That seems nonsensical to me. It uses,
it uses the circuit. It just, it uses, I know, but I don't know how, I don't know how power works.
Well, the same, the same things that are being sent through the wire, it's just temporarily turning
them into your house's electricity circuit and then it's switching it back to another net cable
that goes into your console and, and, uh, gives you better than wifi. Hey, I got a, I got a, um,
what looks like a very reasonable compromise from the chat, uh, which is unfortunate because it's
not. Uh, somebody asks, what about just requesting a speed test? Speed tests often don't account for
packet loss or line jitter, which is the problem with wifi. The problem with wifi isn't the speed,
it's the reliability and a speed test is often not going to show you that. Um, and to ask, uh,
to clarify for those who missed the first time we talked about power line adapters,
uh, a couple podcasts ago, uh, does it work well? It works better than wifi significantly.
Does it work better than a direct plug? No. A direct ethernet plug into your console is the
best connection you can get. Um, and it's not going to be better than that, but it will be
leaps and bounds better than just going on your wifi. So the bummer with wifi, right, is because
like an optimal conditions, yeah, it should be totally reliable. However, optimal conditions
assumes that it's an area with no walls or ceilings and it's the only wifi signal within
a hundred feet, right? I have, I think 10 wifi signals inside me right now from my neighbors,
from people leaving across the street, right? Like, and if you live in an apartment building,
you remember my old place? I could get 40 wifis in my apartment. If you walked more than a couple
feet away from that fucking router, gone. Jenny's wifi is inside of you right now.
Hey Jenny, what up? It's done 2.4 gig gigahertz. I want that five. You need that five.
Yeah. Well, in any case, um, yeah, so that's, that's, that's, that's your solution right there.
And, and the, the most important part, of course, is that yes, it is, um, more consistent. So you're
not going to get packet drops in the way that you do when you're fucking wifi is in and out and in
and out and in and out. You know, it's a consistency of, of packet delivery. So look into that shit.
You should be able to grab one easily. Um, but anyway, yeah, so that's happening right now.
There's a lot of low quality, low quality players online in games. Um, and I suppose I'll, I'll,
I'll, uh, find out shortly because the end of next week, well, in a couple days, they're putting
out the Ninjala, uh, uh, online, uh, demo. So I'm going to, going to take a peek at that. I'll
talk about that in a second though. It's great for versus games. It's terrible for co-op ones.
Yeah. No, I'm really, really dodging all of those. I'm dodging every, every co-op experience
right now, uh, that, uh, I would have had a buddy of mine who was running like a duty roulette,
which is like a, you know, daily in 14, like had to abandon the duty after like 45 minutes twice,
tried to run it twice during the day because people couldn't beat like the regular story
required version of a boss that came out like a year ago. And it's like that boss wasn't
hard the day it came out. How are you feeling at it now? Oh, it's cause people who were playing
a year ago on the expansion launched, they're the people who like to play the game. That's
why they're playing it on expansion launch. Well, if you want a silver lining it, uh, play
com- to those who want to know is, uh, titanium. If you want the silver lining here, play competitive
games right now and watch your fucking stonks go up. You want to rank up huge stonks. You want to
rank up play competitive games right now, right now. Also league is probably going to, I should,
I should dive back into league just a little bit because like league is both of these things.
You know, it's like, Oh my God, my team is so bad, but the other team is also so bad. You
know what's rad to is, uh, the nature of, like the nature, excuse me, of, of, uh, life right now
is such that killer instinct skull girls. Oh yeah. Dems fighting herds. These games are absolutely
getting tons of play right now because they fucking work. That's great. It's like when push comes to
shove, if you didn't want to listen, if you didn't want to do the work, then fine, don't do it. People
that are trying to play the games that fucking refuse to run with rollback are now hitting that
wall and going, fuck this, this sucks. I can't, I can't deal with this shit. I can't. And they're
jumping online and going, I plead, what, what is everyone playing right now? Cause these games
don't fucking work. And people are like, you'll jump on that K I bro. And everyone's like, Oh word
and now K I has a resurgence because it works. It fucking works. It just works. You know,
skull girls. It's like, yeah, you can play online now. No problems. And it's just the situation has,
has been, you know, like it just, it thins the herd out where you're like, at the end of the day,
what do you need here? You need a game that'll fucking work, man. And when it's not a luxury,
when it's not a luxury, but a necessity, when you can't go to locals anymore,
you're, you got to face facts. It's like, this is, this is also what we need.
Very, it's very depressing because it shows just how many people buy fighting games, play them a
little bit online and immediately go, this is too terrible. I'm not going to play it online. And
essentially never play it again. Because the shit's so bad. Right? Like, let's say, I don't know,
pull the numbers out of my ass. So a million people bought DBFZ, right? How many people actually
play that fucking game online? Like 50 K? Probably. How many tried to play it online? Was it half of
all players more? And I mean, that's generous too. Right. But like, you know, like, it's like,
how many, how many people just had three or four matches and they were trash? Yeah. Or they took
like 10 minutes to get a single match. And then it was lagging all over. And we're just like, yeah,
I'm not playing this, I'm going to go, I'm going to play different someone else.
It's, it, it just, it's a fun killer. It's a, an excitement killer. You just, you know,
you're like, fuck this, I don't want to deal with this struggle. When it, when you get one match
per 10 minutes, you know, it's like that you really want to sit there and fucking, you know,
fight. And then, and, and, and it just like, yeah, it's a situation like now that just,
it forces that these problems to the forefront and it, and every developer that
refused to go with rollback for the last 10 years is now confronted with the fact that they
didn't do so, you know, and the few games that do are like able to fucking flourish because
people are like, these are the few that work, you know, it's, um, yeah, it, it is a blessing
and an immense point of frustration because like the idea of, it's just the idea, like, like me
and Reggie were just having, we just had like a fucking, uh, we just had this exhausting like
the first thing the game needs to do is just work, man. And when you, when you treat this as the
afterthought, you know, it, um, yeah, people will, man, this is a beautiful car, drives great, but
it occasionally stalls if you go over a 55 kilometers an hour. If someone goes, I'm returning
this, I'm getting my money back. I'm like, yeah, I can't remotely, I can't even start, begin to blame
you. I can't even begin to blame you if you're like, fuck this experience, you know, especially
if you're doing your part and your setup is good and you have a wired connection, you know, and,
and you still are just getting garbage. Like I have nothing to say, except yeah, it sucks that
they're not thinking about this in the way that they do because the game itself is still good,
but they have these fucking problems. I'm at a really weird spot in which I have the fastest
internet you can like get as a consumer in my country, which is gigabit fiber, which is
good. It's really good. Right. I live in a central metropolitan hub, which is the largest city in
my province is closely, uh, close geographically to Toronto and New York, both other hubs. Uh, so
if I hop on and your fucking shit runs like shit, how the fuck is anyone else going to play it?
You know, anybody with Wi-Fi or anybody out in the country or anybody out in fucking
boys, Idaho or whatever the fuck, you know, no, no people live, but people tell you they live there.
Boise? Boise? Is it Boise? I don't fucking know. That's not real. That's another place. But
it's not real. There's a place called Boise. You know, like how the, how the, how the fuck is
Big Jim down in Louisiana on the houseboat? How the fuck is he going to fucking play fighting games?
Get into fighting games if they will allow you to.
Pretty much.
I'll mess with Big Jim if I want. Fuck you people.
Oh, dude, fighting games suck ass. No, dude, fighting games are terrible. No.
I love fighting games. They're online is trash.
They're, I feel bad all the time that I think about fighting games online is trash. I'm not
going to give you, I'm not going to, I'm not, because you, I'm not going to give you the thing
you, you look for every time, which is the reason to be like, fuck these, because you haven't touched
them. I'm not going to give you that. No, no, no. No, that's because I'm trash and I'm not. I know,
because you keep, because you keep looking for the justifier of like, I have, I'm out. I'm out,
and I need a reason, I need a reason to feel good about being out. I'm not going to give you that
satisfaction. Yeah, I know. But like we don't, like what I'm saying is like, we don't talk about this
about RPGs. Like how, how come every RPG comes out doesn't have the ability to save your game?
Of course. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's fucking. Yeah, you know.
And hey, why is this one? Now here's, now here's, I would love to find out what, if any other
hyper specific genres and their followings are just like running into these quality of life issues
that are not, that are not quality of life, but like actually fucking red line mandatory.
What is the problem? I would love to hear from like the train simulator.
What's happening with rhythm games right now? Why, what, what's happening with rhythm games?
And what is the, what is the one thing that the, an amazing game did that no other rhythm
game is doing? And you're like, what the fuck? Why aren't you doing that? You know? Is it, is it
like, like, like not having a, a screen lag compensator, you know, and not having a
calibrator because I remember guitar hero had a calibrator because back then there were still
like DLP TVs, but then crypto the necker dancer has a calibrator as well. You know? So it's like,
what is that? Is that what it is? What's the feature? What's the thing? What's going on with
flight simulators where they're like, I can't fucking believe they haven't updated the track IR
servers for any of these, sorry, drivers for these things in like 12 years. I'm, I'm, I'm
still having to use busted old track IR servers. Like, oh, drivers, fuck, that's servers. What,
you know, like, whatever, our, our digital card games using really low resolution JPEGs.
You know what, you know what I do know? It's, it's shooters that come out and it's like,
why do I have to go into the any file to turn off fucking mass acceleration? Sure. Sure. Like, why?
Fucking why? Is there anything, is there anything worse than a game that like just doesn't have
enough options? It's so frustrating when you go to the options and it's like sound volume, save
load controls. Yeah, there was a game I played. I want to say in the past couple of months where
I went to options and it was like the sound and that was it. That was it. And I was like, what,
what? Meanwhile, you, you load up, um, like doom, you load up sonic robo blast and two,
and you see more options than you ever need. Like down to the animal crossing. Yeah.
That's what it is. The options menu is, do you want to connect to your online account? Yes or no?
That's it. It's literally the only option. Man, like there's a, like, like options are not,
like if you're, if you have a design philosophy that's like keep things simple so that we don't
overwhelm the user, giving people the choice to like minimize game volume or voice volume or sound
effects or master is not an overwhelming thing. It allows you to customize your experience to
your comfort. Options are not optional. Options are not optional. I like that. Options should not be
optional. Absolutely. The more the more it's, it's, it has been a near universal thing or the more,
and like when I start a game and I go into the options, and if I see like multiple pages more
than I expected, to me, that gives an incredibly good first impression and makes me go, oh, the
people who made this, they care, they care, and, and they really care about their game being really
high quality. That's, thank you. Yes. That's what it is. You get a feeling that the people actually
thought about all of these little things and they exist anyway. These are little toggles that the
developers have and they're giving you the ability to turn them on or off or change them to what you
will because they care about these little things. You know, in, in world of horror, like the little
color filters, 2D and 3D. Oh man, there's so many. You know what I mean? And then, what is it? Like
8-bit and whatever, like the, I forget what the. One bit and two bit. One bit and two bit. Like,
it's just a sign that it's like, yeah, man, we care about these little things. You know, we put
the work in, we love it this, this much, and we hope that you notice and care about these little
details too. And it doesn't, like, and I'm not even talking, I know you are, are, are by default
going into like PC advanced settings, you know, you're to talk about a lot of that stuff. I'm,
you get a world of that shit. And I'm like, I'm not even going there. Like, that is, that is,
definitely has to be there for computers because there's so many different variables.
Have you, have you seen like the graphics options in the Resident Evil 2 games,
Resident Evil 2 and 3? The graphics options, when you go into them, they have every single
graphics option and there are a lot that you could toggle. They have a screenshot next to the
toggle that shows you what it changes and it tells you how much video RAM on, on a bar,
it's using when you turn it up. Bam. Okay. So when you go down to shadow quality and you go from
low to medium to high, there's a screenshot that shows you what the shadows are going to look like
zoomed in on low, medium and high. And as you click it up, the little bar of your total video memory
goes up. Wow. It's incredible. Wow. That's sick. That's really sick. Yo, how about the subtitle
option in FF7R that's like, Hey, do you want to know who is saying that subtitle right now or
that closed caption? We can turn off the name of the person who's speaking just in case the name
itself gives something a way that you don't want. Just in case, just in case you don't want to see.
Though they do use question marks or just whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Or do you want, yeah,
do you want, do you want closed captioning or do you want subtitles on in Black Mesa as well,
where it's like, you can fucking, you know, literally specify, do you want the sound effects
described to you or not? Amazing. Amazing. Anyway. Yeah, that is, that is, that is a point where
it really begs the question of like, did you, do you, do you just care this little or did you
just look at this and say, you know what, not enough time, doesn't matter. Just play the game,
we want you to play it. We want you to have one experience with it. And we hope that this is all
you get. If your PC game doesn't allow borderless full screen, why? Why do I have to go open up
a third party program to turn that on? Now granted, in, in some cases, it's because Vulkan is a way
better API and it works better in full screen. So I get it, whatever. But for anything that uses
not that, I don't want full screen. I don't want non-portalist window to even exist.
Load the game up in full screen, have my monitors go fucking crazy. Resolution,
refreshes, and then all everything breaks. Everything breaks on the refresh, bro. Every time.
Sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, I will never forget that, like,
even when it comes to consoles, the fact that Xbox doesn't do resolution refreshes
and PlayStation does just made recording that much easier. You can turn on an Xbox
and start recording immediately and you don't have to worry about it ever. Every time the PS3
goes from the main menu to any game that has different resolution, it completely breaks
the recording every single time. Fucking trash, man. Anyway, yeah, so annoying.
Every single fucking time. All right. Well, anyway, let's take a quick word from our sponsors and
then let's talk about what's going on this week. Be right back. I'm going to get some orange juice.
While you do that, I'll let the people know that this week the podcast is sponsored by Honey.
So speaking of sweet things like orange juice, yeah, what is Honey? Honey is basically a free
online shopping tool that saves you money online. It finds promo codes and applies them to your cart.
And it makes it really easy to save money on a number of favorite sites, like the sites like
Target, Best Buy, Sephora, Macy's, eBay, Etsy, Walmart, et cetera. It's simple. You don't have
to deal with all the trouble that comes with finding coupon codes that actually work. Honey
will just grab them for you. So when you're at, when you have to check out of multiple sites that
you're shopping at, the little drop down box has a little button that says apply coupons.
It scans every promo code available and you watch the prices drop right before you buy
whatever you're looking to grab. It's just that simple. They've got over 18 million members,
over $2 billion in savings have been doled out so far. It supports over 30,000 stores online
and they're adding more every day. And it's got over 100,005 star rating reviews on the Google
Chrome Store. So it's just that simple. Not using Honey is literally passing up free money.
It's free to use. It installs in just two clicks. You can get Honey for free at joinhoney.com
slash super beast. That's joinhoney.com slash super beast. There you go. Thanks, honey. Thanks,
honey. Sounds weirdly intimate when you put it that way. Oh, yes.
Or not weirdly.
And this week, Castle Super Beast is sponsored by Raycon. Hey, Raycon, what's up? Well,
I'll tell you what's up. The Raycon earbuds, you know, we've already talked about them,
already let the people know that they are the premium wireless earbuds that are half the price
of the more expensive ones out there. They sound just as amazing as other top audio brands that
you know. And Raycon's got their newest model, the everyday E25 earbuds are the best ones yet.
Six hours of playtime, seamless Bluetooth pairing, more bass, more compact design,
gives you a nice noise isolating fit. And they're comfortable, perfect for conference calls,
binging podcasts, whatever you want to do. Personally, I'm going to tell you right now that
pretty much the entire quarantine has been spent with my lady rocking the Raycons, listening to
podcasts, taking calls and doing, you know, day to day business and like even like going to sleep
with them, listening to a podcast or just something soothing and whatnot. And it's rare that I can
go like, hey, and like not have her go like, hold on a minute and then tap the little pause button
and be like, Hey, what's up? So I know that she's making much use out of them and thoroughly enjoying
the snug fit. So yeah, they're stylish and discreet, no dangling wires, no stems to distract anyone
during video calls. You got, you got no wires to worry about. If you're still worrying with
wires in your life, stop it. We've moved beyond that technology has passed you.
Wires are stupid. Wires are the past.
Hate wires. Except if you're trying to play online fighting games.
That's the only time wires are good. You don't have to wear those.
You don't have to wear them. That's true. But wearing, wearing wires is terrible. We're past
that. You heard me talk about how the company was co-founded by celebrities like Snoop Dogg and Ray
J and such. So, you know, these are the names behind it. You can pick a pair up and see what
the hype's all about. Now's the time to get the latest and greatest from Raycon. Get 15% off your
order at buyraycon.com slash superbeast. That's buyraycon.com slash superbeast for 15% off
Raycon wireless earbuds. B-U-Y-R-A-Y-C-O-N.com slash superbeast. Thanks, Raycon.
Thanks, Raycon. Very appreciate it.
Okay. So. And a happy 420 to you all.
Exhale. I mean, you got the smoke to get smoked hat right behind you. So, you know. Oh, I also have
one here. Last count, you were at like three of those on your own, but now with the page count,
you have like 12. Oh, no, we bought a whole box of them from Etsy. We don't know where the
fuck they are. Oh, shit. We got one on the skeleton. We got one over there on the backup
microphone. We got one that we put on top of the camera so that our balls don't fall out when
we're just hanging out. Okay. There's one upstairs. I think we lost one out in like Washington or
some shit. Well, if there ever was a day to get them all out and put them on you like armor,
today would be that day. It would be that. You could even like take two of them and like put
them on your chest to be like little chest armor plates. So everyone who enjoys your reefer
do so responsibly. Don't eat everything in your house, etc. Well, you can do it legally here. So,
you know, that's what's up. Also, don't get high and go outside. That's actually a really bad idea.
Get high and stay in. That's the worst that could happen. You eat your food. Yeah, pretty much.
Well, anyway, some stuff's happening. I just sent you a stuff unless if it wasn't on your list
already. I will talk about that stuff in a very short. Real quick though, just because I didn't
do it earlier, get the plugs in. Oh, you didn't get the plugs. I didn't get the plugs in. Right now
on the channel. Dokopan Kingdom is fucking blasting off. What's the blood pool up to the blood pool
right now? What's it up to? I saw some numbers and I want confirmation 2315.
That's what I thought. Blood pool is at 2315. Peace pool is at 580.
Shit. I've given my recommendation on Twitter, approval, etc. I'll do so here. I am personally
rooting for Reggie. I too. I wish him the best of luck. I too am rooting for Reggie. I am on team
Reggie. Yeah, I don't believe you. No, I told him. We discussed this. I'm absolutely on his side.
All right. I don't believe you and he shouldn't believe you either. That's okay.
That's you're allowed. But I do believe. No one should believe you.
I do believe that you have been referred to as African American.
You know, I think I've been called that more times in my life than you have.
It's weird. Interesting. It's weird.
Probably not with some of the because because there's a handful of people
in public like by different people as opposed to the same because there's a hat. Okay, you know,
there's there's a handful of people that shoot that count up on their own. Yeah.
Okay. Okay. You understand? Yeah. Yeah. It's a rich tapestry. Very, very.
So that was pretty funny. What was really funny though is people being like, oh,
to the reaction of Reggie calling me the n-word. But then he put up that fucking pole that scared
everyone that made every like it was like, should black should black folk use that word?
It was yes. You're not going to trick me. You're not going to trick me on this podcast.
Shout outs to the meme. Shout outs to the meme of Jim from the office pointing to the board that
just says everyone can use the n-word results may vary. Oh God. I mean, that's technically
accurate. Everyone can use it. He puts up the pole and is like, should black folk use
that word? It's like, yes, I'm black and no, I'm black. Yes, I'm not black and no, I'm not black.
And the first reply that killed me was like, I am not brave enough to vote on this.
Or as I gave it option five, Mitch Digger. I don't like that. I don't like that.
That clip from that TV show that's going around, you know, so say it, Dan. I'll say it with you. Come
on. Yeah, good times. It's good times. Yeah, I believe Reggie's wording was much more to the point.
It was significantly more to the point.
Okay. However, you're not going to trick me not on this live podcast.
You know, I see it last week and there was a, when the podcast came out and people were like,
is racism like the most exciting thing that could happen in Woolie's life? Like it seems like
nothing makes you happier than discovering new racisms. I kind of love it.
You get a gleam in your eye and you're like, oh, yay. It just, it does a little something,
you know? It just, it lights a little like, like, oh, here it comes. Oh, here we go. Oh, what's
happening? Oh, yay. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's the same feeling of when somebody says
something remote, like the fucking mind numbingly stupid. Yeah. And your heart just wants to go,
go on. It's, you know, just like, tell us more, especially when it comes from a place
that was so buried and it was like, you know, it was like, they thought it was like 20 feet deep,
but it turns out it was just underneath the sand. They just kind of kicked some sand over it and
they're like, yeah, no, that's a beach. That's not a bunker over there. You can run through that.
Oh, it was there. It was right there. You know, there's no bunker under it. What are you talking
about? You know, and then it just comes blasting out. You're like, ah, there it is. There it is.
You know, you have to understand. Here it comes. The inside of my mind. There's a fucking Apollo
13 control room going. Yeah. I feel like every time I feel like I feel like you're sitting at
a fancy restaurant. Well, and behind you, a man is talking to his wife and you can overhear him
and he says, I'm not racist, but and then you Chris Pratt turned towards the camera
with your grin smile. I will just like just getting so excited. What can it be? I will.
I will put my hand over punch mom's mouth to lean in to fucking grab a glass and just
what? Wait, wait, wait, no, wait, what? Like I need it. I need it.
Oh, it gives me power. It gives me fuel energy, man. God.
It's like it's I've I have never seen someone so excited to encounter racism in my life.
It's a special thing you got going. It's like Captain Pollution, you know,
when the when the when the reverse planeteers unite with the power of smog, greed and and and
all the awful things and they buy your powers combined. I am Captain Pollution and he just
powers up. Oh, love it. Love it. It's it's great. So see, this is why this is why I'm never going
to trust you when you when the when the camera turns off or fuck it when the camera is on,
you go, hey, Pat, you know, I've been really thinking about it. It's time to give you your
it's time to give you your past. Your your your your a okay. Trust me. I'm like, fuck you. I'm
going to trust you. That passes a lie. You're full of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because what am I
going to do? Fucking get hurt by it? What am I going to get insulted by someone throwing that
shit my way? Like, like, I think, you know what I mean? Like, oh, no, the oh, but the left the
fuck that this is great. This is the real you. You're in a persona dungeon right now.
And I get to watch it's the best. It's the fucking midnight channel and we're the real world, dude.
Not going to fucking get hurt by that. It rules. Oh my god. It's the real you came out to say hi.
Hi. Hello. Oh, man, love it. Love it. All right. What's new in the world this week? Well,
um, anyway, Dukapan's great. Um, uh, Kotor two is great, but it's on hold. Uh, gotta see
how little beef house we do it. I think I think he's okay. I think he's okay. Um,
gotta, gotta get details, gotta find out what's up. But unfortunately, uh, there is a thing where
it's like, Hey, you know, you can't really just waltz in and be like, Hey, test please, because
if you're not essential, then that's that tests are only for essential people. So supposedly,
but don't they have the actual walk in? Yeah. But like, like in the middle of plastic, they
have a drive in at the middle of plastic is our where you don't even have to get out of your car.
But right though, but those places turned into essential only.
Okay. So, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna play that nice and safe.
For a long time, I would recommend and we're gonna see what's up.
Um, but yes, uh, so Dukapan is going and half life. I just beat Black Mesa.
Hey, Zen's great. Zen's great news. That's great news. I watched old footage of old Zen,
old Zen. It's fucking like now I seen it.
Fucking unbelievable ridiculous, ridiculously trash.
Because that game's incredible. And then you get to the end, you're like, wow, this sucks.
I will say this, I will say this, like the lack of beauty and completely frustrating
platforming and nonsense puzzles and drabness are a flavor unto themselves that is alien.
If you want a gray, brown, shitty alien desolate world, that is what old Zen does.
But boy, is that not, um, not that fun. So new Zen is great.
And, uh, the final area of new Zen is the best part of the game. There is a sequence that is
the sequence that they put you on right before the last fight is this unbelievable elevator
sequence. That is, to me, the best part of the game. Incredible work to that team, to crowbar
collective. That's crazy because that shit, it's like it's the design just coming through in such
strength. What they essentially do is, um, you start going through these areas where, um, you know,
the, um, the Zarya gun is what I call it. Gauss gun. It's the, it's the, it's the, it's the
Zarya beam. It's the plasma beam gun. You hold it with two hands and it's got no alt fire.
Right. Yeah. So, uh, that thing of the glue on gun. Thank you. So that thing, uh, basically,
is, is, it's incredible, but the whole time you're, you know, limited ammo on that shit.
What are you going to do? You basically get through, get to some areas where there is a
type of crystal that refills that ammo. And so you just get to beast. You get to beast and it's
satisfying. I wonder where they took that from. That gimmick sounds very familiar. Okay. And
awesome. Very, very, very, very, very cool sequence. Um, you go through this kind of
like final area of the Zen factory and then you get to, you know, all your stuff. Um,
then you get your final boss fight and then you get hired. Oh yeah. And, uh, that was certainly
a moment of like, what the shit that, that game, like end ending ends like fucking so weird and so
much weirder than the rest of, I couldn't imagine what that must have been like back in the day.
It feels like back in the day that it must have been an ending where they were like,
let's just, we have no plan for what this even means. Let's just do something wild. You know?
Yep. I feel like you improvise, they yes, and did the way that Half-Life 1 ends, because you're,
you're so drawn into what the fuck that could possibly be. And from what I understand, answers
are still, still being waited on. Hey, Willie, since you're diving in, like really diving in,
you will within the year understand why I'm always so pissed off about Half-Life whenever
Half-Life comes in. Right. Um, that being said, the first like 90 seconds of Half-Life 2 are,
is probably my favorite thing that ever happened in Half-Life, because it's just G-Man talking.
Yeah. I started Half-Life 2. And G-Man talking. Not now, but years ago. Yeah, exactly. And I remember,
you saw like G-Man just talking to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw, I remember you're just,
to you, just talking to you about stuff. It's, it's, it's a specific line of dialogue, which is
like the right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. And it's like,
oh man, that's just the best line. And it's the best read. And it's not so good. He's a weird lynch
character. Yeah, absolutely. And he, he introduces himself by pausing time and reality and walking
towards you and introducing himself. And you're like, okay, I was, we're on, this is a whole
different thing. I was most certainly prepared for, because of course I've heard about G-Man,
so I was most certainly prepared for this guy to show up and be some kind of ridiculous. Yeah,
he thought he was going to be what, like a government scum bag that was like, who knows?
Like the smoking man or some shit. Maybe smoking man, maybe, right? Because he's like, oh, we're
quiet conversations. We don't know what's going on over here or whatever. Exactly. Maybe more
like smoking man, you know? And then it's like, no, I am a God walking through time right now.
He's cute from Star Trek. And also I have employers. And so they go status hired. And the first question
is like, by who? And everyone's like, yeah. Yeah. I don't know, lol. So Half-Life, how about that?
Damn, the wait for Half-Life 2 is brutal because of that. Tell you what, man, but we got opposing
force and blue shift in those, in our mirrors. You know, something, something, there's something
to be said where it's like a lazy last minute cliffhanger that like, let's say a cartoon does to
try to stay on the air is always really transparent. You can see it coming a mile away. You can see
when there's like, we are now going to kind of wrap up the story. And then in the last 10 minutes,
make an escalation of problems that are unrealistically extreme and then go, you better
fucking resign us on for a third season to find out what's happening. And then it's a bit of a
fucking game of chicken in which the show usually ends up getting rolled over by the train that is
the network. In this case, I feel like they kind of made that gamble, but like it was so
out there that like it fucking worked because you got because you're like, this is not
something that was, um, the game didn't, didn't, didn't play with these kinds of concepts.
Oh yeah, it comes, it's total left field. It's, it's nonsense, but it also allows them to start
Half-Life 2 at a completely different location and time and go like, yeah, we don't have to show you
the, the continuation of events to get to this new setting. You're just at the new setting now.
Sure. Cause why wouldn't you be? Look at this. Look at what we've seen here. Look at what this,
what this man is. So yeah, that's, that's, that's really curious and interesting. Um,
you know, uh, uh, yeah, I want to know what happens now. And I want to know if the gamble
is like, I want to know if like they're able to live up to the mystery in a way. No, because
that's always the problem is you create a really strong mystery and then you now have to follow
through with it and your follow through was terrible. Well, I'm going to, I'm going to tell you
right now, and I don't think anybody is going to begrudge me. I don't think Half-Life has given a
single answer to one question ever, ever.
Well, that sucks.
There is no answer. That sucks.
There's a bunch of cool ass shit that happens.
Bunch of cool ass shit, but nothing.
So now the version of in your head that auto completes is the hypothetical cool thing.
But they don't actually get even played portal one and two, right?
You remember the little black Mesa jokes in there?
That's about as much answer as you get. Okay. Okay.
You know, um, yeah, it's, it's, it's really, that's, that's a bummer. That's a bummer because
this is that that then reminds me of all of the death game stories I talk about where
you had no plan, you know, you didn't know where to go with it. And, and also why Attack on Titan is
great because they had a very clear plan and they went good places with it, you know, uh, which is
super, super unexpected.
It should be, it should be like told to you that the Half-Life series is a graphical showpiece series
first and foremost. And then after that, it's encounter and shooter design. And after that
is narrative. Right. Right. Valve is so much more
interested in like facial technology and VR shits and, you know, new shaders than they are with anything else.
Yeah. And then there's that bit and then there's the other stuff. Right. Right. Right.
Oh boy. That is not what, uh, you'd want of a flagship series, unfortunately. Um, but or, or like
if you're going to put these burning questions out there, like what, don't you understand how
frustrating it is to not answer them? The longer that goes on, the more annoyed you get with the
franchise, I suppose. What if Half-Life 3 that everyone's waiting on doesn't answer any of those
questions? It won't. Okay. Well, even the, um, the, the plan for Half-Life 3 that, that Mark
Laidlaw talked about, even that ended in another nonsensical cliffhanger.
Well, all right. Um, anyway, so that, that, that's, that's where that's at. Uh, but I enjoyed that.
I had a good time with BlackBesa. I think it's a good game and I'd like to know more about
it's great for you, man. And yes, I did watch a, a bit of, um, Half-Life, but the VR, Half-Life,
but Half-Life VR, but the AI is self-aware. And, uh, I saw that. That shit is bananas. I saw some of
that. That shit is hilarious. I found a rope, Gordon. No. Well, anyway, um, you can check all
that out and more at, uh, wooly versus on Twitch, wooly versus on YouTube. And, uh, yeah, for those
of you who are interested in, in, in the, uh, following Dukapon, which there is an increasing
amount of, of, of, of interest. The other week there was some fucked up Twitch shit, right? You
had to replay some FF7. Oh, I, I lost, uh, I lost two hours FF7. Yeah. And that shit sponsored. So
no, you didn't. Yeah. And, uh, and it was the, uh, it was the hours of the single most important
part of the game. And so I, I went and re-recorded it, which you better appreciate it, fuckers,
but I mean, it's, it's cool. You know, so since I'm recording, uh, in two different formats,
then I still do have the lost footage, uh, which will be releasing to the anime.
Uh, so, you know, everybody can catch up, but I also did explain, uh, on the next session
what, what was lost in the, in the, in the footage. And it was just a Twitch wide fuckup,
unfortunately. So, um, there, there should be not, there should be minimal problems for, for,
for, uh, those who are following the story loyally either way, but I just would like
to remind folks that as, uh, the manga continues to increase in its, its views and, and build up
on those pods that, uh, the anime, the anime helps us out. So, uh, if you get a chance to
check out out on YouTube, that'll, that'll, please support the official release, check out, by all
means, read the cancellations, by all means, read the cancellations. They're out there and, uh,
they, they get you guys excited for what comes next, uh, but supporting the official release,
uh, directly helps. And, uh, yeah, because there's, there's, there's, there's definitely a point
where your list like, ooh, okay. This VOD number is extremely comparable to this YouTube number.
Yeah, sure is. And that would have worked really well going the opposite way. So, you know, um,
please, uh, please, please, please check it out on YouTube too as well. Cause, uh, the VODs are,
you know, just kind of sitting there. So,
you know, man, I know you talked about it briefly last week, but now that you've finally
beat Black Mesa, I fucking love that you have this context of why this dorky looking dude with
thick rim glasses and this ugly looking orange and gray suit is, is like people like greatest,
greatest hero ever, right up there with Lincoln, master chief and doom guy. And you're like,
what has a crowbar? That crowbar cannot be defeated. That crowbar has the highest DPS I've ever seen.
The highest DPS I've ever seen. Like if, if I, it's like that nerd from MIT is making it work.
I honestly would have thought that was a bug. If you showed me footage, I would have thought like,
oh yeah, someone sped this up and like he's got like quad damage on and he's got like, uh,
an accelerant that's speeding him up, but just like, like, wow, you know.
Yeah. Folks have pointed out that VODs do have ads that run on them, but, uh, from what I understand,
that is a, uh, later YouTube, that is a later Twitch edition that is, uh, nowhere, still nowhere,
nowhere near as beneficial as, uh, on YouTube, not even close. So VOD ads aren't the same thing.
Aren't the same thing at all, uh, folks. So thank you. All right.
Onto the news. Uh, I know you sent me.
I know you sent me one, but, uh, I think the, I think it's important to start with, uh,
a, a PSA for everybody. It's the same one I gave you as soon as we jumped on. Oh, yes.
Folks, if you have a Nintendo switch online, uh, count, you need to go to the Nintendo.com website,
log in and immediately give yourself two factor authentication or two step authentication,
whatever you prefer to call it, two step verification, whatever. But the point is, is go on,
hit that, turn on your, your, your, uh, extra step of using your phone to log into your device,
because, uh, Nintendo's gotten hacked and people are currently using switch accounts to use
their PayPal associated accounts as well. So, yeah, uh, two weeks ago, I want to say
we first started to see some tweets going around where it's like, there were some hacks that went
through and apparently some people were seeing unauthorized usage on their switch accounts.
And, um, and yeah, that shit sucks. I remember, yeah, it's always Fortnite V bucks. Yeah, seriously.
I remember, uh, like fucking God, like close to 10 years ago, one time when I saw, uh, my PayPal
shit, uh, got, got hacked and it was to buy Minecraft shit. It was to buy Minecraft garbage.
And I was like, I get what? You know, like this is the, this is what you're doing with it. Like,
okay, anyway, this is what it's for, right? Anyway, do you want EA, uh, what was it called? My team
passes or whatever the fuck that is? Just you go through all this trouble for this garbage,
you know, this is, this is the interests of the trash that, that does this to your account.
You get to see something about their personality almost, but, uh, anyway, so one, um, make sure
you go onto the site and you can, you can't do it through the switch, which is stupid.
Very stupid. It's really dumb, but if you only use the switch to make your account,
you cannot put two factor on. You can only do it on the security page of Nintendo's account
website. So, uh, go do that. And then secondly is, uh, there's recommendations that you
disassociate your PayPal and saved information with your account just to be extra secure.
So it's going to be a pain in the ass to, to put it back on every time.
I don't even know how to do that.
Uh, that you can do from the switch.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yes, you can. I've done it. No, I've done it.
I tried to pull a credit card off of it earlier and I did.
I've got a switch right here.
I can tell you exactly how to do it in a couple of steps because, uh, I have done it.
You pretty much do it.
Uh, on the switch itself, you go to the online, you go to the, um, the eShop page,
then you go to your profile page in the top right.
Then you should scroll down and you should see your credit card and or your PayPal
and an unlink button.
I see.
And then once you do that, uh, yeah, it'll just be like, okay, well, you can fill that
information out every time you want to use it.
Um, but yeah, two factors, a great security step as well.
And it never hurts to change your passwords too.
You know, yeah, can't hurt.
So, uh, these are all things that you want to do to avoid getting your shit checked, uh,
hacked, but if you could, if you also, uh, uh, want to, you can definitely check your
login history on the site too.
And you can see in the last 30 days who is connected to your account and where you've
connected from.
And if you, um, generally connect, see if a connection comes in from a new source,
you should have gotten an email about it saying, Hey, a new device is trying to connect
to your Nintendo account and you can go back and see when that happened and what location
they were, uh, trying to connect to you from.
Yeah.
I'm looking at my sign in history and it's like, it's my windows PC and my Samsung phone.
Yeah.
And that's it.
So exactly.
So yeah, my, my, my mind checked out fine too, but, uh, you can go there and just see
anything weird or anything unexpected and you can, and that means that, uh, you might
have been compromised.
Um, but yeah, that's, that's pretty much it.
That's all you do.
You just connect on your, you go to your profile and you on like your shit.
Um, and of course, uh, none of this guarantees that like, you know, they didn't already get
your shit, but it's the extra steps that, uh, will come in handy if they have that device
information and they have like, let's say any passwords they grabbed from that that
apply to other things on your email than those are at risk too.
So you got to be careful out there folks.
Don't get robbed.
That's my advice of the day.
Fortnite idiots and Minecraft idiots are out there taking your shit.
Pushing their beds together with your money.
So jackasses.
The two step verification uses the Google authenticator, um, which I prefer SMS, but
you know, whatever, it's still an extra level of security.
So that's what that's what's going on.
Okay.
So there's that.
Now then onto darts.
On to darts.
What's going on with darts, wolves?
Dark competition moves online.
Players withdraw because their internet sucks.
So what happened was, is that these dart people down in the UK were like, okay,
so we can just play darts because darts, you know, you only use the one dart board.
So what you do is you put a video camera at the dart board and you play darts.
I just inhaled so much spit.
Why did I do this?
You go, guess what?
Do what you got to do.
Careful.
I inhaled like a whole...
Careful.
Careful, man.
Oh man.
Get some water.
That's going to be what kills me one day.
Wrong hole.
Yeah, I inhaled a whole spit down my blowpipe.
Ah.
Please do not die of wrong hole.
I wouldn't be the first.
Oh god.
That was so awful.
Oh my god.
Drink.
Ah.
Just right.
Oh jeez.
Anyway, dart people.
There you go.
They have bad internet.
So they can't play darts online because they are red bars.
Something about that delivery.
That's the story.
Kind of lost the punch there.
Yeah, a little bit.
A little bit of a punch.
Apparently loads of athletes are keeping busy playing video games and this article says
what the professional darts corporation home tour is being broadcast in England involves
pro dart players going up against each other online and they simply record themselves playing
at home and upload footage.
Gary Anderson however says I had to withdraw.
I was up for it but when I did the test with my wi-fi it's just not reliable enough.
Doesn't surprise me.
I started to play bills online in my house.
It's really frustrating and he shows an internet test where he's got 4.6 down and 0.9 up.
That guy apparently lives like in rural England or some shit.
So 17ms latency.
That's no good.
Makes sense though because as an older guy who just plays darts all day,
I get why he doesn't need the hardest super fast internet.
I play fucking darts so that I don't need internet.
Look at you kids with your digital crap.
I got darts.
Darts don't need internet.
His decision drew some criticism because people didn't believe him
leading to his management coming to his defense saying that he lives in a rural area.
And yeah they had to put out a statement basically going like
you know it's not just him.
World Grand Prix champion Darryl Gurney also withdrew for the same reason his internet wi-fi sucks.
Take that red bars.
It's affecting sports now too.
Hey I beat wedges score so I'm pretty good at darts.
Yeah I beat wedges score too wedges a bitch.
He's not even that good at darts.
Where the fuck?
There was another point in the game where I saw a dart board and I remember that
I ran up to it and it wasn't a real dart board.
Yeah and it was really inappropriate timing.
The timing was bad but I kind of was wondering I'm like
can I maybe get in a little game before we know?
It was uh it's in wall market it's in the bar in wall market.
What was?
You run up and you're uh darts and you're like oh
Can't.
Yeah.
Darn.
Or like when you're like hey I'm Tifa right now can I
Can I uh no no no no no not that one it's when it's it's uh can I play darts as Eryth?
It's like nah.
Can't.
No.
Oh well.
Anyway.
The red bars go home they are home.
And they are home.
Everyone's in northern London.
Oh how fuck.
I'm sorry for sucking down that spit the wrong way guys.
My apologies for scaring y'all.
Wrong hole.
Yeah man the air one.
He you need that hole to breathe.
Not the food one I'm not a dolphin.
Like dolphins don't eat through the blow holes.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Anyway uh we got uh just a little little little nice story here but uh makes me happy I like I like knowing that they sat down they did a little interview with the Kirby devs and the Kirby devs had some fun things to say uh kumazaki who's been a mystery.
Uh was involved actually and they basically just said uh hey the next game we want to work on we want it to be the pinnacle of Kirby games which is like.
Considering they've been on a fucking hot streak uh I believe that to be extraordinarily possible with this team of people uh and they also want to work on uh non-action spin offs for Kirby.
The Kirby franchise is quietly.
One of extreme quality and.
An.
Me pretty much perfect track record uh it just kind of exists over there and uh if you if you venture in you're going to enjoy it so more Kirby.
More Kirby is good.
More Kirby has never been bad.
Kirby RPG Kirby air ride.
All of it Kirby golf.
Kirby golf Kirby cart.
Kirby doing his taxes.
Puyo may cry.
Yeah.
All of it.
All of it.
Kirby stupid you're stupid.
Thank you you're welcome.
I'm glad we had this talk.
You ever.
Feel that gurgling automatic reaction and realize I'm adding nothing new to this and decide maybe I can take it a different way but then just go now let's just go back to the basics.
No never cool just check it.
Wait are you talking about Kirby or me or you I can't I actually kind of lost the thread on it's gone.
And you know what else is gone unfortunately.
The original Leon Kennedy has passed away.
Yeah Paul had dad recently passed away from the original Leon Kennedy.
That's a bummer.
Fucking lame.
So apparently he was going to be or is is involved with Daymare 1998.
As well.
Yeah.
Apparently he was going to or might have done.
I don't know if they if he is involved or not or if they got their work done or not but they're the ones that kind of put it out there.
So it seems like Daymare 1998 was being was let people know because Paul had had worked with them as well.
And yeah he wasn't the voice of Leon in 2019's are you to mind you.
No he hasn't been it's quite some time.
But the the old the old Leon and I guess the the the voice actors of the the the memes and the legacy you know lines are all it worked and all that great coming from that from that group so rest in peace.
Ah dude come on pretty young looking guy too sorry my cat was scratching at 56 Jesus it's pretty young.
Damn.
So I talked a little bit about the Ninjala open beta test that's going to be coming.
You mentioned it so that's going down on excuse me October April 28.
So yeah in about a week it's coming out and it is going to be going down the 28th and the 29th.
There's a couple of there's a range of hours that they have on the official website with it.
And they put out a couple of different promo things to kind of introduce Ninjala.
So there is the like one there's like a 10 minute little short animation that's kind of introducing the world and the characters and like why things are what they are in a way.
It's a bit like those almost like when Overwatch kind of had those little introduction things you know.
And in it you get to see that like that people are actually proportioned much more like normal Pixar sized people in this world.
And the technology ends up de-aging them to look like the little kids we see in this in the inkling kind of proportions.
That's fucking it's very weird like a lot of things in the game.
It's like yeah they're actually like they're more they're more normal sized but then like they become like inkling of fine.
That's like the the arms thing where it's like they have normal arms until they put on the arms gene on locker and then they get the spring arms.
You're like what's the power of the ninja gum man.
Did that really need an explanation?
Sure did.
So ninjas have been ninjas forever and then in the future ninja ninja genes exist in some people.
And if you chew ninja gum then it unlocks those powers and it lets you do crazy shit with the ninja gum.
That's stupid.
That's where we're at.
End result.
I guess an end result is Ninjala.
Game looks great.
So what we got is a we got definitely not Splatoon definitely not pay no mind to the fact that the ninja mask even has the fucking black outline around it.
That looks similar to the the Splatoon style so don't worry about it.
Don't worry anyway.
So yeah you know one one pricey little FMV introduction later.
They had some developer diaries come out to kind of introduce the gameplay and to show off how the melee works and how powers work and stuff.
And you know it is what you expect.
It's like there's there's you have abilities you have cooldowns you have the ninja you have like blowing up the bubble.
And then from that you can convert the bubble into like you know better weapons or better better better better tech or.
You know other other buffs but inflating the bubble also acts as a shield if someone comes to melee you it'll like kind of block them from from doing that.
But if your shield breaks and the gun pops on you and then you're disabled.
So there's that.
That's terrible.
If you attack somebody at the same time there's a parry system where you enter a what is essentially.
The soul caliber fives.
What is it called soul whatever.
Oh my god I don't remember the name of the rock paper scissors.
That's a long time ago.
So you enter that where you clash and then you have to choose between what they call.
The word used in the video is a trilemma.
Which I did not know was a thing.
And I'm going to use Google to look and find out if it's a thing reversal edge.
Thank you very much.
It's end up it ends up being like a reversal edge.
Trilemma is the is the word used in the video.
I mean it's it's root word is a difficult choice from three options is a trilemma.
Yeah yeah that's a real word.
That's a real fucking word.
Does that mean you can have a quad lemma.
If it's if it mathematically works out I don't I don't see why not.
Quad dilemma.
Yeah probably quaint lemma.
Oh man that's crazy quadrilemma quadrilemma.
That would probably be it.
A quadrilemma is four difficult choices.
Yeah that's real.
Sexy lemma.
Septilema octilema.
Yeah probably.
We don't have enough trapezoids in our daily lives.
I'm just thinking about that because we're using all these number terms.
I'm just thinking about man I love a good old trapezoid.
Pentilema.
Tetris.
Anyway I want to say that basically you end up clashing and then you have to pick a high
side or low attack and then you you know you call you do it a couple times and then the victor
gets you know to knock the other away and the usual and then there's like you can get kills
but then you can also get like ipon which is like kills that were like harder than normal kills
like if you got killed with an ability or if you got killed while you were staggered
or something like that then that whatever you know so yeah it looks like it's gonna be fun
looks like it's gonna be cool so you can check those out and you can get a better look at the
system if you go check out the the dev diaries on Ninjala right now but yeah jump on on the test
on the 28th which is going to be next Tuesday.
Might as well because very few games coming out in the next six months
and hey very few online is trash right now people suck why not dunk on them
even if it's your first time touching it alongside everybody else
uh okay so another cool thing going on is uh tanuki sunset
the synth wave raccoon skateboarding game
really look up i'm gonna take a look at the trailer for tanuki sunset and when you get the
it's got that fucking vapor wave sun in it again and the sun is bouncing to the beat
and uh when you get into the gameplay be sure to make sure you check out the music
because uh whereas tony hawk has set an expectation of what kind of music
we want to hear when we're skateboarding i was very pleasantly surprised to hear low-fi hip hop
as the soundtrack to tanuki sunset oh this game is beautiful it's gorgeous it's gorgeous so
no pretending to be superman actually we're going low-fi hip hop on this we're going new jebess
oh that looks great oh they're knocking over the little vlc cones
all right yeah check it out it's cute it's cute and the the raccoon is trying really hard
to skate down uh what looks like a treacherous ass highway created in the death stranding world
because it's floating over an abyss um and it's not it's not and the raccoon he's on a longboard
yeah he's not on a on a standard deck he's on a longboard so
you know longboards always remind me of surfboards two things the uh one asshole that i knew that
had a longboard and was a total asshole about the fact it's a longboard dude it's not a skateboard
and the onion article from many years ago which is uh young man tragically is not uh
involved in an accident while riding his longboard to his digital media job say that again
young man is tragically not involved in an accident while writing his longboard to his
digital media job i see tragically not involved yes gotcha yep yep longboards uh i remember
i had a friend of mine who made one out of his his broken uh he made one out of his broken
snowboard actually they're they're just you know they're just cozy riding if you're not looking
to do tricks if you're not looking to grind and and uh do any fucking christ errors anytime soon
then you just grab a longboard and uh you just roll on it that's all that's all you do and some
people do do some kind of tricks with it but a lot of them are more just kind of it's a skateboard
for pretentious people that don't know how to do skate tricks sometimes you can do some fancy manual
stuff on um on a longboard you can you can do some fancy stuff but like way way more limited
i have intensely associated longboard with with with fucking assholes like what like oh my god
look at this motherfucker in his longboard it's a bit like look at this look at this piece of
shit so it's a bit like like how there's there's different types of motorcycles you know there's
a dirt bike there's a there's a fucking kawasaki ninja and then there's a harley and then there's
a touring cycle you know and all of those people have stereotypes associated they all they serve
their different functions um yeah so longboard is more of a mode of transportation than it is
a thing to do the tricks with you know it's almost like one of those yoyos that doesn't sleep
it's like well i guess it's just a just it's not an old classic yoyo and it's not even a new type
yoyo it's just one of them non-sleeping yoyos like i'm looking up photos of people on longboards
and i want to throw up hey what if they're just getting from point a to point b what's the problem
what's the problem then they can use a bicycle a bus a metro or their fucking feet or a longboard
it's nothing wrong with it it's fine
it makes me excited to see people on longboards with no protective equipment because if they
fall they'll really hurt themselves okay boomer
no not on longboards
if it was cyclists yeah i'd give you that one but the longboards are horrible
does a piece of wood with four wheels and ball bearings attached offend you
no only if it's a certain length obviously come on man got it what about the mini boards
the super tiny ones i mean like hand-sized or like oh no no not even no okay yeah so there's
finger not like no not a tech deck no there's the suit there's the super tiny decks that are like
literally you just roll on these things and you don't do much with them
so the smaller the better like smaller the better smaller the skateboard or like what what
would that even penny board penny board what the fuck is a penny board i don't see it it's
uh it's like a it's like a skateboard but it's really small sep sep for kids or yeah or our man
children why a penny board over a skateboard wouldn't that be more difficult to ride or what
probably easier to to like carry and put away i suppose if you're using it to if you're not gonna
you know be in a place where you can actually put it away but it's a very tiny skateboard
and you can still you can still ride it around that's fucking stupid you have
fucking 22 or 27 inches you got you got some small boards
so what size what size is uh what's the length that that you hit just get a skateboard just go
to the skateboard shop get a skateboard fall down break your elbow never skateboard again
this is the path that everyone should take i mean personally i i don't disagree with that i
say get a skateboard because you can do the most with a skateboard you can use it to get around
and you can do tricks and that's fun but when i did use my friend's longboard i did definitely
appreciate the smoother ride that came from the longer board and the bigger wheels i was like oh
this rides a lot smoother of course you're like what's the deal of longboards you've rid a long
board you're a longboarder i don't own a longboard you're you're a longboard enthusiast i have only
ridden a longboard once and it felt more comfortable because uh here's one thing that happens the
smaller the deck the more you're gonna feel the bumps of the road and the sidewalk and the
the little shit that you did you hit on the street if a if a street is badly paved
you're gonna feel it way more on a smaller skateboard than you would on a on a longer a
bigger one and it uh it ends up being like ah the street sucks i hate this paving it's annoying
good great reason to get off your skateboard
all right well all right all right do you want to know where this comes from
hurt you who hurt you all right all right here's where it comes from everybody get ready it's
going to be really disappointing everybody that i ever knew that rode a skateboard i'd be like all
cool skateboard like tony hawk and they're like yeah i'm like can you do a kickflip and they'd be like
no and that's the whole story you don't know anybody that can do a kickflip if you write
i did not know one kid that could ever do a kickflip some tried and they always ate
shit and that was in way better than had they been able to nail it um but i'm like yeah unless you
can do a trick get off your skateboard you've wasted your time pat i believe this is what the
kids refer to as malding i think you're malding right now how would i spell that
it's exactly what it sounds like mad and bald no
no malding friend
sorry i regret to inform you wouldn't that be malding i regret to inform you that you're
malding which would probably be a really great brand of skateboard like if you went to like
you know you went you went to the shop you got element you got dark star you got girl and then
you got malding and it has like different crazy ass drawings by different famous artists of malding
people uh i would buy that unfortunately i discovered that uh twitch screen twitch streamer
explains why he trademarked the word malding the fuck filed a trademark application in the
united states for the world awesome sounds like a cool guy great so yeah he filed the
trademark as a joke according right clearly he went through the process out of everything too
yeah i went through the process and the lawyer of filing a trademark big jokes for everyone knows
that the funniest jokes involve real lawyers yeah this hilarious hilarious lawyers are the
ultimate punch up to a bit no lawyers are known funny people and not subhuman lizards oh
shit it's great i have a i have a good friend of mine a really good friend of mine that i've
known for 15 years who became a pretty good lawyer and there's a really really insanely
clear distinction of when he is my buddy from college and when he's being a lawyer i can see
the second set of eyelids start to twitch he kind of stiffens up he talks in different cadence it's
fucking weird it's so weird i have legally i'm legally required to inform you on behalf of my
client that it's just a prank bro just james funny jokes ha ha ha so tenuki sunset
the music is awesome but hey raccoons are cute so they can ride skateboard yeah i want bulldogs
too what about tenukes bulldogs can ride skateboards all day tenukes are just raccoons with giant
giant balls that can be used to trick humans all right oh yeah they can ride skateboards too
just be careful about the droop in fact there are ancient scrolls that show tenukes gathering up
their nutsack flesh and attaching them together to form like little like shields to like bounce
humans away and to protect themselves and to travel with and to sail with
what the fuck dude tenuki balls are literally just like they're they're omni tools
what the fuck to ask japan
there's gonads and strife indeed there's pictures of them using them as weapons to knock humans away
there you go um so yeah tenuki sunset all right
uh we gotta you know kind of little little tiny one but uh it's it's it's out there
it's out there there is a uh dang and rampa is getting ported to mobile platforms which
you know right for the type of game it is why not makes perfect sense why not
same thing as phoenix right kicking over makes perfect it's just it's it's a visual novel and um
you know argument mini games that are basically just like you know um word selection and puzzle
selection based occasionally there's a little bit of like reaction required like there's a logic
surfing one where you have to do like a little like um um kind of mini like surf track you know
to get to like to get to a logic point but like for the most part you're kind of just like playing
these little mini games and then otherwise doing visual novel control so it'd be very easy to adapt
to touch controls for that so yeah dang and rampa um and i believe they said uh what are they calling
it anniversary editions of uh one two and three uh are coming out what's that actually going to
entail so it seems it entails overhauled user interface remapped controls for touchscreen
support new gallery modes and uh that's about all we know so far no other details at the moment
so and that's one two and three and none of the spin-offs so you're you're in the clear
every hooray a okay you're good to go um that's that's nice other things
coming out again blasts from the past burnout paradise is getting fucking ported to the switch
remastered yeah really june that's great this game's great in uh in june on the june 19th
burnout paradise remastered is hitting the switch and uh
it's been pretty quiet about what's going down with that yeah so no secret mario cars we've
heard about so far who knows but yeah that's fucking rad that's an unexpected just like
cool okay sure i wish more burnout games existed
those games are so good
it sucks though is that it's like 50 bucks on switch but it's like 20 bucks on the other
platforms oh no because it came out so much later so that hasn't had time to drop the price i think
but it's still like what the fuck that sucks did you see the switch trailer for uh was it jump
force they showed the switch trailer for jump force is hilarious because they give no fucks about
how bad the framerate is it is it is dying i gotta find this the game is dying in the fucking trailer
and they don't care like it's just showing you like a border that is the the console itself
and then like the i'm looking at it right now just like cut jump into the middle of it somewhere
it stutters to a fucking halt at points and they're like yeah that's that's it that's
how it runs what you want this oh wow oh wow what what it's going like sub 10 in some of these
shots real choppy it gets real choppy jump force switch
variable framerate up to 30 fps oh my god
everything in that game is terrible and probably the weirdest thing is like uh you know totoroki
got announced for it um his burn looks painted on because they're like walking back the hyper
realistic art style but instead he just looks like shit compared to the others because a real burn
would probably not look like a cool scar it would be horrible yeah god damn awful commit to the
fucking realism assholes show us the bubbling of the flesh show us the the the the muscle and
sinew underneath show us how awful a real burn would look not a cool anime burn commit you want
it real you want them fighting in fucking time square show us the burn show us the ooze
he had to wipe the bus by the way that thing pussed up for a while assuredly oh yeah
and think about jump force whenever you see i mean you you made fun of them a couple weeks ago
where it's like oh what if zelda was made an unreal engine right
nintendo hired this man it would look like fucking jump force one of the ugliest games
i've ever seen in my life yeah well
i don't get it those games are fan service games so why the fuck they make everyone look like
i'm trying to think of other things like totoroki where if you converted it to real life it would
immediately fall apart slash not convey the coolness you know
oh zuko it has the same thing in avatar and they fucking botch that
if you he's got like a little scar it looks pretty burnt though it has different layers of
coloring on it no i'm talking about in the live action okay okay did you like he's just got a
little scar you want it you watch that i watched the theaters i watched the theaters because
everyone's telling you swerving to the camera x right right right um and then and then i was like
well i gotta go watch this show because that did you go see dragon ball evolution i did in theaters
yeah okay so you you catch all of them so yeah here here's a fucking i send you a screenshot of
zuko's horrible scar in the live action movie wow isn't that crazy it's like it's like he's got like
a little scar these fucking little part these fucking actors i tell you oh boy anyway i just
like zuko's eye is supposed to be nearly permanently shut due to scar tissue on his eye you know like
okay well hollywood actors man they don't want to yeah don't want to cover which is that's why
it's like infinite like that's why every time you have a moment like um uh dread where
dudes like nah fuck it mask who cares i'm dread face doesn't matter man does say you're like thank god
man you know when you when you give the character it's due by not giving into the fucking like no
you have to see me perform you know i mean listen i didn't i kind of i did not want it to happen
in um i didn't want it to happen in the mandalorian
you know in the end uh it's like ah well whatever you know but like i do appreciate when somebody
is like no i'm taking this role this role involves the mask and this is this is it
you don't need to see my face it's okay the role is more important
what's that kid's name from that 70s show uh tofer grace
tofer grace is the worst one ever as venom
he i don't think he speaks as venom more than once i do dude like i don't remember
a single scene except for the one where they're falling and and fighting in the midair i don't
yeah and he takes i he takes the mask off for every single every time he talks yeah i don't
fucking recall anything outside of that falling shot it's completely deleted
that's fine that's fine yeah all right well anyway um
jump force uh switch trailer is good times it's good times at least they're showing you what
you're getting we're talking about at least they're we were talking about options yeah earlier
so once you have the game you can tell how good the game is from like the options
but before the game comes out nothing screams quality like a reveal trailer with like where
the trailer drops to like 15 frames a second at least they're being honest about their products
and they're saying this is what we have on sale i sell oranges if you want an orange i got oranges
right here and if you don't care about the bruising or the smell then buy one and if someone watches
that trailer and says that looks great then they are welcome to purchase it
right you want it you got it yeah if someone watches that trailer and goes cool then buy all
things thank you for your money here is your goods
i don't know man why don't you just make the game run better because it's on the switch
why don't you turn it down a little bit or optimize it have you seen xenoblade chronicles
because naruto's in time square bro
hire this man nintendo sega i saw hire this man nintendo sega that's right do it
hey will you want hey you want to have a funny little retweet here here i got i'm sending you a
twitter thing that is a comparison shot of two games on the switch
xenoblade chronicles remastered and the other i can't believe xenoblade in pokemon sword and
shield are on the same console one looks like a breathtaking masterpiece the other one looks like
an early ps3 game hurts man i just retweeted it for everybody wants to see it it's like
the fucking get it together fuckers get it together
you know something funny about um ff7 remake is because of how gorgeous it is you notice
its flaws way more oh boy do you every time a light is shining through a surface that it
should not shine through you're like you know man that zoom in on it
the the ultimate is you'll have uh cloud and arith talking and they are the most immaculate
3d models ever and the light is going through their hair and landing on their bodies impeccably
and then arith will turn and it'll zoom in on this flower on the ground and the flower is like a
fucking jpeg from 1994 and it's so blurred and blocky that i mean it's it's not a jpeg it's three
dimensional but it's just blurred the fuck out of like six polygons and it's blurred the oh my god
the flat that flower moment happens like four or five times and it's hilarious every single time
i will that game seems to have like a texture i will say that like when talking to rando NPCs
and then you get a closer look at them they definitely have the problem of not looking
anywhere as much as as like the main characters look like people they you know they have they have
that they they have we are from another world issue kind of thing like we come from a different
game but they still have like freckles and weird little noses and some of them have like and yeah
they have facial features where you go okay you look like a person you know like i can appreciate
the level that of of person that you are even though you clearly look like you're from a different
game uh right and i think the only other thing i was gonna talk that's a slow week this weekend
not much but the only other thing i was gonna talk about is just uh the ongoing twists and turns
that is cooking mama cook star more twists more twists and turns what's the last you heard of the
story uh the last i heard is that uh the game got fucking delisted okay so got killed so it started
as a story about a game that might be using your switch to mine for cryptocurrency but it wasn't
but it wasn't it was actually just an argument between rights holders and the developers
yada yada and then uh they the the developer came uh excuse me the the license holder came out
first and put out their big statement basically saying look here is the bottom line uh we did not
approve the quality of the game that they created we felt that this was not um
up to par with cooking mama standards and when we got the game we saw it and said this is this
is not approved for release so don't release it don't that's don't release our call to make
and we did and we did not uh agree to it the developer then counter retorted with uh a letter
saying an excuse me a prescott whatever it was you know announcement saying we signed a contract
based on a game design with the license holders for a specific type of game with specific features
and all these design elements the game we delivered is exactly to the specifications of that contract
thus we are not legally uh breaching anything by releasing this game as is because we have
delivered upon the exact features as specified by that contract so this is great they are saying
that we have done our end of the deal and we are releasing what they agreed we would release
and uh the license holder saying no but the game is shit though and then they're saying
we're looking into legal action but who knows
i'm glad this is good i love this it's an issue of quality control and if their contract did
specify that they get a final approval on release then there's nothing else to say get fucked but
if it didn't but if it didn't then they should have gotten better bottom bottom is is it says you
don't gotta check then too bad you know now i mean it'd be really weird if they did not put in
something saying that hey we have to approve of the game you're putting out there because if we
people make mistakes on all sorts of no shit certainly if they delivered a game that is
exactly as specified by the contract however the first thing you are greeted with is a large
hairy penis screenshot upon pressing the start button you are sent you are sent a dick pic
and it is burnt into your monitor into your it's your switch screen you know what i call this
you know what i call this i call this um it's not breaching contract
i call this airbud legalese
it's nothing in the rules says dog can't play basketball
nothing in the rules saying i can't force a dick pic at the at the player on the press start
there you go cooking mama cook star here's a dick which mode do you want to play too late
you've seen it would you like a tutorial is this your first time playing cook star
at the bottom at the like if you like at the bottom of the menu underneath at the last option
is make the dick bigger yeah man it's it all comes down to the fine the fine print
that all comes down to the fine print and you know what that's for them to sort out
not the not the not the consumer so pretty much
i would i would love to see them make a horrible mistake and be like oh crap we didn't tell them
we need a final approval and then they go crazy and then they can make any fucking cooking mama game
they want as long as you know it doesn't defy nintendo compliance which unfortunately
need the dicks to defy nintendo compliance what if it's like a hidden yeah like it what if it's like
um uh like like game there with the big sausage on it there's there's that game where um it's the
big 360 game and there's a girl eating a giant sausage and it's like steamy oh man i don't know
it's like a big steamy sausage with like fucking sweat and veins on it
sweat and veins on the sausage you're saying to me there's a game on the 360 it's a big box
what game is that i don't remember but um min had a steamy sausage man had a copy of it
and uh james small was pushing it for a while and it was a let i think it was a limited edition
and it was like anime girls and it was just full-on fucking they weren't even pretending
yeah that's great yep on the 360 i don't remember the name of the game but uh record of agarist war
thank you very much folks wait really record of agarist that record of agarist war i'm looking
to box 360 i don't see a girl eating a big old way
is that on the fancy box it is on the limited edition box
i don't see a saw oh there it is i see it if you look at the big special edition box
you got a zoom in on the side and you see she's bite she's got the big old sausage
big old sausage right underneath this is a girl who's bending over and you're looking over and
looking up your skirt as you are really imagined it and put it on google here it is
i'm literally looking at it right now
so yeah uh it's that sausage has got the grid marks it's got the sweat it's got the lighting
the sausage has higher texture integrity than the anime girl who's putting it in her mouth
and she's sweating well we gotta really focus on what's i'm sweating trying to fit it in her
mouth by the way that's tough sometimes it's tough so like i said it's kind of like that
shout outs to anybody who didn't know about record of agarist war
isn't that like a strategy game i mean you look at the normal covers of the game and there's a
like big anime night generic anime yeah a bunch of waifus and whatever
i don't get it yeah that's a turn-based grid-based strategy game
the fuck this shit all right this is dicks
doesn't say you couldn't have dicks in it should have worked it out with the license holder
i guess well anyway um let's take some letters
hey can you give me a five minutes i'm gonna use the washroom before we hit the light
all right i'll be back in a momentary okay
hey man what's the deal with emails well uh if you have one you can send it into castle
super beast mail at gmail.com wow and uh i could officially give a full-on uh congratulations to
uh any of you uh fucking shitasses who used the email for whatever stupid sign-up purposes for
bullshit because now the spam has literally made it like like there's so much spam coming in that
it's all it's starting to rival the number of messages coming in making it a nightmare to pull
emails in so fucking sick yeah so yeah that's great it was always a problem you know ever
since the old days that was a thing but all it takes any uh any public-facing email really
yeah but just like if don't be that jerk that's just like i have to put in an email and i don't
have one i don't know i'll just grab this like fill in a fake one of whatever don't use this one
like don't be a shit man it's just it just makes it annoying for no reason it doesn't it literally
does nothing but it's like all right well i mean if you had read my email you know so like yeah
it's now it's now becoming like burdensome to have to fucking filter out all this trash because
it's just it's just at that level and usually there's like one or two and you're like not one
or two there's always been a ton but it's never been to the point where it's rivaling the amount
of actual questions and it's making me hard it's making it harder to get the actual questions
so people are bored they're trying to get their their thrills somehow well you know
as it gets harder and more annoying to grab these questions like i don't know what to tell you like
i'm i'm i'm gonna parse through it and dig but like it's just it's a stupid thing that that you
know y'all can y'all y'all can be can cannot do that so um yes okay uh
uh before that
let me just verify something
let's just deal with emails
yes we're aware that mick gordon did not mix the doom eternal soundtrack and then in fact it is
mixed into garbage we are aware yeah this is what i'm this is what i'm looking at right now
mick gordon use mick gordon disapproves of doom eternal's ost release but yeah they they they
crushed it and mixed it terribly bethesda has ruined the epic metal doom's eternal soundtrack
they fucked it up so ironically enough like the rips from the game are likely going to be
higher quality than the official soundtrack well that's stupid that's an easy sure is that's an
easily avoidable problem don't let somebody who is not the guy who made the music handle the the mix
pretty much or have like a dedicated professional very good mixer you know work with the guy who
made the music okay so uh shoutouts to high quality rips for now being the way to listen to the doom
eternal soundtrack uh rip and tear until it's done man silva gunner holding it down
all right so anyways emails
email time this is the sound of you re writing an email
no was sent what good email do we have today hello x soldier woolly and phantom thief pat
i'm august i'll live with this jrpgs are very hot right now played a lot of them in my days
including some lesser known series such as shadow hearts wild arms romancing syga and many others
do you have an underappreciated or unknown jrpg game or series that you like stay safe and healthy
i mean you just mentioned a bunch of them which i wouldn't call those obscure because i feel like
i've hung out with people that uh mentioned them a lot no they're obscure you just hang out with
people yeah i guess i guess i guess and this kind of you know what you know what to be perfectly
honest so this brings to mind a recent uh tweet that uh die roquetto shoutouts to die roquetto and
and mr feels wild ride out there holding it down with quality tweets but uh die roquetto put out a
tweet that was just basically something to the effect of hey yo guys what are some old
uh so what are some old rpgs SNES and ps1 era i just want to make a list and i was like yeah
okay and then you just saw the list and i'm like oh yeah that's all the shit that like everyone
that i hung out with used to talk about all the time and it's just like okay here we go wild arms one
and two star ocean two grandia thousand arms lunar silver star story and eternal blue complete
guardians crusade legend of legia legend of manna saga frontier one and two brave
fencer musashi alundra vanguard bandits robo trek bahamut lagoon breath of fire one to four
luffy a two retranslation patch front mission three sweet code and two vagrant story vandal
hearts live alive terra nigma god growth or growth or devolution heed the call to awaken
treasure of roe dress legend of jagoon illusion of gaia valkyrie profile romancing saga uh
grand stream saga thousand arms tactics ogre shin megami tense one and two i never in my life
thought that i would ever hear you say the phrase grand stream saga as far as i can tell i'm the
only person that's ever played that game um i'm gonna add one that's a ds game so it's a little
later and you can emulate the 3ds version with perfect compatibility uh i'm a big fan of radiant
historia that game's great cool and saga frontier one sucks by the way just saying
should i suck should i say the thing what do you want to say the thing which is the thing
lost odyssey oh yeah totally yeah that game's great yeah
reset the clock lost lost that game's trapped on the 360 why is there no nothing version come on
give me something i want to say it's because mist walker
walked walked into the mist still exists it's because mist walker walked into the mist
it's sad i also noticed blue dragon was not on that list and it should not be
hmm well that's also not a playstation one or snes era but yeah eternal sonata was in the
office i remember watching that get tested for a while true yep end of eternity it was pretty
but the plot was so fucking stupid show pay oh it's show pay's death bed oh so none of the games
matter it's just a dream like all right last remnant yeah that thing had a cool cover
lucia 2 i liked lucia 2's ability to select that the monsters are on the map i like that
you can see the monsters so part of lucia 2 that's just aggressively broken there's like a
single map in the game that's just glitched out to fuck because it was coded bad i just remember
that feeling of like oh the battles aren't random i can see them coming you can't avoid them yes
but i i do enjoy that you know
hmm um well anyway
here we got one coming in from um shan says dear woolly and mine goblins started playing
vermin tied to with some friends and our session wrapped up i visited the subreddit only to be
met with the sentiment that if you're not playing on the hardest difficulty you're not playing the
real game i was already bummed by this thought process by payday 2 where unless you play on one
down death wish then why bother what's your opinion on anything below the top tier being
thought of as the tutorial there are the dozens of hours i spend playing and enjoying the game
on normal wasted time should i just suck it up you're truly shan the people who hang out on
that subreddit are playing that game as their online game of choice every single day so to them
those modes are boring as piss because they have they have wrung out every possible iota of enjoyment
out of everything other than the most bleeding edge super difficult content you see it in mmo's
constantly where there there's an entire genre of person who raid savage or like ultimate or
whatever and they're just like man is these fucking care bear cash i can't believe it oh i'm
doing my dailies i call that a sub genre yeah uh it's it's uh fuck them
they're awful yeah no um difficulty elitism is stupid at the same time um a an intended and
when uh when a when a developer creates an intended experience that is uh like very very
uh highly highly detailed and has a lot of attention to detail there's something to be
said about like i love that you know we love that in devil may cry you start easy and you work your
way up right you practice if that game started on dmd that like that those no one would care about
those at all you know like you have to work your way up it's you got to practice your combos and
then you get better and better and then as you do you are met with you want something to rise up to
yeah so i think that's totally that's totally fine you know um if the game um and you know
the and then there's the there's the things where like sometimes the naming conventions are different
like like remember god hands right where like normal is hard and and hard is god and all that
shit gets modeled around but at the end of the day you really just like if you're playing especially
if it's a game that's like pve you know or whatever it's like you're just you're playing for yourself
man like if you're enjoying it and that's how you want to play it then like yeah don't let people
like shit on you about that um and i guess there's no way to talk about this with about without
immediately going into soul's discussion right i actually have a slightly more uh interesting
and less overused discussion which is pathologic to pathologic to shift with no difficulty
selection whatsoever it was then later patched in to have slightly easier difficulties however
when you go to the slider it literally says don't use this the game is meant to be brutal
and stressful and upsetting and it's like um okay like it's it's super bizarre like it is
is the equivalent of if the game starts on dmd never forget and it literally allows you to turn
it back to hard never forget alien soldier there are two settings super easy and super hard yeah
and that's it that is all uh yes so some games do that you know some games don't have difficulty
settings they're just built the way they are and that's on the dev dev can do that dev can make the
game however they want you don't have to force them to make it a certain way but if there are
options and they are available then you should not feel shame or bad if you want to play on them
yeah like like everyone says dark souls needs an easy mode the fact that that game has a leveling
system of any kind means that it has a built-in easy mode you just have to work a little bit to
unlock it the only reason why um roses are red violets are delectable you're not worthy as my
opponent easy now is now selectable is a big burn on on us on you and i these games 10 times we
should never have to see that so for for uh we play a lot of devil may cry so that's like lol
ha ha you loser you fucking oops you know you know better like well i haven't i haven't played dmc
three in like nine years so it's like difficulty john's the f1 racer double parks his car lol
you know uh so yeah it's just it's just that but like for whatever purpose if you're playing
something and you know you pick the the appropriate difficulty then that's fine in fact i we talked
about options earlier uh one of the coolest games when it comes to difficulty is um way of the pacifist
because way of the pacifist has two settings one changes uh how the enemies react to you one changes
like enemy behavior and the other changes your uh ability to make mistakes and they're separate
settings from each other you know and like you can you can uh uh make it so that like the the you
could you you you still make the same number of mistakes but the enemy rhythm doesn't change it
stays where it's at and you can still get the challenge from that or not or whatever so and
it lets you move both of those things around to create the perfect custom difficulty you like
it was pretty cool um that you can tweak all those individual things and also even if you
don't let the the the if you don't let the player tweak things like that which you know it's awesome
when you do but if you don't do that then it's nice when you tell people what each setting changes
yeah it's nice when you tell them uh you know hey enemies hit harder uh you can't heal as much
saves are one and done or not at all i think one of the better uh difficulty modes i've ever
encountered was actually in a really old game and i think it's silent hill two onwards in which
there's action difficulty and puzzle difficulty and there are five different sets of every puzzle
in the game that have different amounts of clues different solutions etc and the highest level ones
are fucking impossible i don't know how anyone is supposed to actually complete them
they give you shit all for hints and it's like fucking i hope you know your shakespeare
and for one of them in the bookstore that i remember and it's like it's totally absurd it's
totally absurd uh but hey it's there for you if you want super super super hard boss uh puzzles
and piss easy action you know uh have you seen the classic mode of ff7 remake
yeah what's that like it's fucking hilarious because it sounds from the description as it
sounds like it's like the fight the bottom the battles are automatic you just wait for atb
so what it is is that um you have easy mode which is just much easier which i put on to
grind some shit out and then for and didn't realize that's a system level setting and
was playing a little bit of my stream on easy mode and thought i was doing really well until
somebody asked me to check it and i was like ah boo i'm dumb but uh classic is easy mode system
levels like so what happened is because i had to re-record the shit yeah all right i loaded up
and re-recorded it on easy so i could go through super fast and then later i loaded up my later
save but the the difficulty selector is not in the save game it's a system save
oh so when i loaded my later save it reset to that yeah yeah yeah okay gotcha and i was like i
was genuinely confused when i encountered that but classic is easy mode so like much much more
damage for you much less damage for them uh but your character your the character that you play as
their ai is turned on okay as if you weren't controlling it yes and if you want to run around
and still do stuff you can but that's the main difference so you kind of run out of the way of
certain attacks if they're charging up yeah and then otherwise yeah your character does the thing
where they walk forward blocking a lot will they cast spells on their own at all no okay you have
to do all the atbs no nobody uses an atb ever on their own okay okay okay it sounds hey dude you
hear about hard mode uh no ff7 has a unlockable hard mode really and it is lit it is super good
really uh the game the game has a static level so it assumes you're going in at the cap
and everything else to a core no there's no scale it's just everything is the cap but i but i mean
but every enemy gets set to a certain point pretty much they all get set to level 50 and then the
game and then you just run with that yeah and oh interesting you cannot and items are turned off
entirely and and you don't regenerate mp at benches
and persona and enemies get new attacks and there are more encounters that's rad that's rad
that's super rad they did that work that's super rad that's cool okay mp regeneration
is that that's that's one of those bits and persona that fucking i'm like oh my god i hate this
spells are nerfed spells are nerfed as a problem solver okay so you got to rely mostly on abilities
huh yeah can't exploit hope you have chakra and pray oh man
hmm and there are super bosses that are only available in hard mode okay but you can still
run around and slash boxes open and get your mp back yeah but that's pretty much the only way
you can get the jesus or grind that and in battle regeneration grind for ethers out of out of battle
no willy items are off in battle all items are always off no matter what god damn okay yes
okay okay items are god not just in not just in game okay yeah i thought it was in battle
yeah yeah people people were like no items might as well not exist whoa
i so level up that revive materia yeah that doesn't really uh i'm just thinking there's
no there's the there's you can play the game without ever using them so yeah that makes sense
that's really hard that's really hard excited to go through it again i'm super excited that's
very that sounds very difficult um some enemies are gonna be fucks anyway yeah oh yeah uh i was
gonna just say that um i was talking about way of the pacifist earlier it's four different sliders
that the game gives you for difficulty setting the first one is enemy strength the second one
is encounters the third one is combo mastery and the fourth one is resourcefulness so you can tweak
all four of these to customize the type of experience you want to get you know um that's cool
man rad really really really good yeah so anyway uh
all right let's take this one here
oh and yeah the follow-up was uh what do you feel how do you feel about games where they
name the real game hard whereas normal is like a fake difficulty of easy or something like that
i think that uh i think that halo did the best of any game ever and that is it's
what was it something what are the first two i fucking forget but the third one is heroic and
the fourth one is legendary and when you mouse over heroic it goes this is the intended difficulty
from the development team this is the best way to play halo that's it it doesn't matter what words
you call it whether you say give me a story or give me deus x uh as long as you give a descriptor
of it and you tell people what's happening in it then if it says fucking nonsense gibberish
and it says this is the intended experience then you go cool that's what i'm going for so uh like
doom uh it's fairly obvious that normal is a little too easy yeah and that ultraviolence is
probably what they wanted you to go for in some cases the design or like the changes like actually
fuck up the um the the design uh one of the best ones i can think of is ikaruga has a hard mode
but the hard mode fucks up the game's design because it has it's just too much it sends back
bullets of the opposite color whenever you destroy something and there are sequences of this game
that are like musical in their design of how you swap colors and absorb things and like it just it
fucks up that flow so much that no one who plays for points really considers that you know like
they're like no the intent like all the design shows itself in the normal mode and then this
kind of just adds a random factor that is like you know way less way less interesting because
it's a lot less like not just less fun but it's like you can see where it's like they didn't
mean for that bullet to be there in this sequence you know so um yeah yeah there there are a lot of
games in which um there's a lot of games in which the higher difficulty mode is probably a lot to
ask of people who are not familiar but it is a more enjoyable way to play the game and maybe on
like replay right so evil within is an interesting one where uh like reasonable to hardcore mode is
a genuinely more enjoyable way to play that game because enemies just don't they're not as easy to
stun basically so you have to actually deal with them a little more often um whereas evil within
two uh i tried it on the heart of dickbilties and it just felt like enemies could see you for much
further away and uh playing well was more about cheesing the system than actually playing it
and i felt like miserable playing through it
um and they changed between one and two the yeah that's i i feel like uh one of the
weird ones that comes to mind is i'm trying to remember the details of it but uh you ever play
mega man zero yeah mega man zero had a fucked continue system and difficulty don't remember
it was like it was some bullshit where usually mega man you got your lives got your attempts and
that's all there is to it and yeah that makes sense and mega man had like z mega man zero was like
you had the overworld and you had like three continues or something and then like when those
are gone like that's that's it like your whole it was something super brutal about it i it's been so
long um wait really like for the whole game it was it was like yeah you get three retries on a save
file and then reset to the start yeah get the yeah yeah it was crazy it was really stupid with that
you get a game over and then you're fucking just done um in that and uh furthermore you get these
cyber elves which were like your little like your little temporary buffs and power ups and abilities
but they were one use only for the entire game so you have like these consumables it's the ultimate
info you want to talk mind goblins right cyber elves and mega man zero literally created a little
like um little like there's a little tetris almost like puzzle on your pause screen of all the little
options you can get all these little elves that do things and as soon as you use them they're gone
forever so they're one and done and then they die and then that thing gets grayed out forever so as
you collect these abilities if you don't it's all the all the the downsides of like using consumables
on a dark souls run yeah except you only have one try one consumable once and you cannot get it back
that's awful there's no way to get it back on that save you're done restart the game so that's just
under what circumstance is it ever the correct time to use any of these unless it's the last fight of
the game never it was the worst dude it was the absolute worst i fucking hated it yeah yeah yeah
yeah and on top of that like i said if they they literally gray out on your on your select screen
you know i feel like mega man x3 like when you switch to zero it was similarly like you know
like if he dies then he's gone so you get like so don't use him you can use him but just don't die
with him yeah but you know it's the first time i'm playing the game so i'm gonna die well
well
yeah so you know mega man zero one like just fucking went it went insane with that
shit um and i feel like there's another aspect to the difficulty that i'm forgetting to that was
extra a little like go fuck yourself but uh yeah so the mega man zero collection adds a save assist
feature to fix here we go here we go i found a post sorry sorry uh what were you gonna say
i was just gonna say like i feel like it was gonna be a little in depth so you go ahead and
hit the services first okay uh yeah no mission redo right right so the big issue with the old
zero games is they're stupidly hard to the point where live system will actively annoy you or sabotage
you in zero one ranks are heavily affected by deaths to the point where getting a good rank
after a death is basically impossible uh basically basically these are now effectively gone with the
save assistant to the games uh which they added um right there's a ranking system that gets fucked
over if you have to retry and you don't one shot a mission and oh my god and come on and uh um
in and then you try missions and then you get locked out of them like you tried and failed
fuck you that mission's failed forever oh my god it was so crazy it was like what are you doing with
this system you know they really wanted to make um like a new game in a new world and just feel
completely different and obviously they succeeded in making like a whole you know like like you're
running around a zero but like the world itself is like all connected you can just walk all the way
over to the the boss area you know if you want they're all a part of a giant 2d map but um
using character cyber elves hurts your rankings as well you will miss mechanics if you suck
there's some shit where you have to grind out doing certain attacks a certain amount of times to
level up the weapons too but some weapons are obviously better than others so you're just gonna
want to use the better weapons and level those up and not use the shittier weapons so it sounds
like shit so then you gotta take a shittier weapon and go out to the area and just farm using that
same thing killing things with the shitty weapon to level like they tried so hard to make it so
different and it just ended up with all these dumb little things when you're like couldn't you just
make me pick a boss and go to a stage and fight the boss no shut up it's different
you gotta grind but don't fail to speed run on every level then s rank everything never die ever
so there's a if you don't speed right your score is gonna drop there's a part of difficulty
that we barely touched on because it's somewhat rare but i look at games like xcom which offer the
iron man mode yes and i think iron man is super cool but then i think back to every game i've
ever played that has an iron man mode i have had characters get fucking killed by bugs
every single game like a pillars of eternity uh pillars of eternity to
fucking xcom xcom 2 etc i've had i have had characters like get shot through items they
shouldn't get shot or spells hit in the wrong place and shit like that and just like
ate shit to a grow it's like can't can't deal with it
yeah i mean but that's what you turn the turn that's why you press the button right that's why
you turn it on after all like people are people are saying like bugs in quotation marks and it's
like i vividly remember a fantastic clip that you and me and we're part of of our character's gun
through a sectoid's face yep and they turn it away to miss and it's like
and that was because of a bug that was because they were we were not correctly getting a flanking
bonus because of something to do with the corner
yeah no there's these turns when you play into the breach on hard there's these turns where you're
like okay i'm using the ice mech team and one of these things freezes itself every time it uses
its ability right and because we're on hard uh there are now like four vex spawn points and
like five bugs on the field but you have to somehow make sure that none of the buildings get hurt
or none of your fucking mechs get hurt and one of your things is frozen and you're like come on hard
mode like how is that even possible i have two units not three i have two units to stop five bugs
and four spawn points go how is it even possible it is not is the answer it is not you know hope
that your building protection percentage is high or take the damage on your mechs but uh yeah that
that game has these moments where you're like this is this turn cannot be done you know and if
every once in a while it'll have a moment almost where it like it realizes where it's set up too
much bullshit because it's like you only get like three units and then it'll have like four start to
attack and the fifth one will just be like i'm not attacking this turn no i'm good i'm just gonna
yeah and you never know which one it'll happen with you know but every once in a while it'll
just be like okay yeah there's four on the field i'll just not attack you know but you just you see
these things set up and you just let you're like this is this this is done this is out one bad turn
and we're fucked god forbid you're trying to um uh complete an objective like protect the train
you know or stop the power plant from blowing up god forbid
all right uh quick one here from
let's see josh says hey bunk madden and patrick mcnulty
i used my quarantine i'll take it to finally binge the wire i now hey
fucking love the wire talk more about the wire
ps found out that michael b jordan played wallace after recently watching creed too
there you go the wire is amazing that was his start wasn't it the wire is amazing
wires great you should all you all have time to binge the wire it's a very big i know you
all have time this is this is this is the time to go binge the wire or the sopranos
you can go you can go get one of those shows under your belt and not regret it
you will not regret it let's get shit wire is great i like the wire yeah yeah where's wallace
man he's instigating a race war in black panther he's also he's also the human human torch
he's also apollo creed's son
uh dear man who dresses like his mom's kitchen wallpaper and spheroid cube herald as pat said
earlier half life has been a first and foremost game series that serves as a technical showcase
however there's quite a few series like that crisis star fox and so on
how would you say that the various tech benchmark games hold up against each other
thanks from the the drake hey drake i think crisis i would one holds up like shit well
apples and oranges in the sense that i'm not i don't want to compare them against each other
and because like you know um like the fuck they're different things entirely i feel like every
mario game is uh or every major mario release you can tell the ones that are the big ones
are like they're supposed to be the nintendo benchmarks um
um yeah the reason why they won't make star fox is because they have nothing to show off
right they don't want to just make one for the sake of the franchise which is like really stupid
because it's awesome uh crisis one holds up like shit because it's cpu shit is poorly optimized
have those what about those super settings remember the super settings for the future
yeah did that ever work i don't know warhead apparently fixes that shit but
as a result of not being able to play crisis one that gave me a bad taste i was like ah fuck crisis
don't care star fox out of out of the tech games i'd probably see the half-life games
probably hold up the best
because the tech was great but the games are also incredible
pre-source engine um how was the physics stuff
what physics there was none right so none so every time there was like wires unplugging
from a wall and plugging it into there weren't okay that mechanic didn't exist was it just a
button on a wall sure was press the button okay yeah so half-life like it half-life is so old
that it's claimed to fame was it was the first pc game that used scripting a lot
so the fact that events occurred at all was like mind blowing as you walk past a threshold
like it is it is difficult to even properly understand how fucking primitive games were
right before half-life one came out were grenades still bullshit
yeah okay he thinks sure we're fucking bullshit yeah the worst grenades ever
or best depending on what you're looking for if you like a grenade that has an explosion
and then a hurt box that extends five times beyond that explosion well here's the problem
that's how grenades work i know i know i know it's not the fucking boom it's the shrapnel
yeah i know i totally know but from a visual perspective a video game perspective the fire
is the hurt and if the fire doesn't touch then no hurt super duper true it's it's it's totally
exactly it yeah blast radius all right well apparently air pushing up against your body
does weird stuff to your inner goo hmm no fire no hurt
that's how it feels anyway if you step on a landmine and then you jump really fast so that
the fire doesn't touch you you'll be good you'll be fine you're good that is not real advice don't
don't don't don't okay well well i hear you but also that correction implies that someone within
listening uh of this is capable of stepping on a landmine in their immediate area every time
i think about landmines you don't want to think about end of bad boys too don't remember oh you
don't remember yeah they shoot the bad guy and he falls backward and lands on a landmine and he
gets exploded and his like torso lands between them okay and then they realize that oh man there's
landmines everywhere uh every time i think of landmines i think of uh front towards enemy
then frank castle i'm doing fucking punisher max shit front like like
insanely dangerous things that have like completely like instructions for babies on them is terrifying
to me like aim away from person aim towards enemy it like fuck if you're listening to this podcast
and there are active landmines within a one mile radius of you let me know
i'm i'm curious to know if there is an active minefield somewhere near you i literally saw
somebody in this chat go there are mines in my area man oh god fuck i live in detroit what
wait what well you know how you know how it is wait hold on wait like at what point don't
you remember when did that happen a couple years ago i know when they didn't talk too much about
when the when it when when the law pulled out did landmines start coming in yeah because that's a
whole other like street landmines i didn't think we were there yet oh yeah no no the
detroit landmines been there for a bit yeah that's real i was not aware it's it's not real
okay detroit detroit's not even a real place okay and last one here coming in from tim says yo
uh excuse me yo wool guy and patsabella uh gust horn blend here i often bounce back forth back
and forth between final fantasy 14 and world of warcraft from time to time both with their big
pros and bigger cons to my delight wow appears to finally have started stealing quality quality
of life features from ff 14 like the auction house ui long enough level sinking main scenario
quest adventure structure shadow land bringers etc uh while i feel which i feel have drastically
improved the game do you have any competing game series that you wish would really just steal more
from each other i think yes so okay i it is a little bit obvious because we just spent
the beginning of this podcast talking about something i always talk about which is fighting
it's the obvious answer you've heard us say it for years so obviously that that is you know duh
so let's go for the non obvious answer there um i think that uh i think character action
games can learn from each other i would love uh bayonetta to uh adopt the proud souls system
oh yeah that's a good system from dmc4 i think that'd be great i would love for uh bayonetta
to adopt the uh the try button in bayo 3 you know to see exactly what a move is before you
commit to it because you know most of us are going to try to get all moves before the end of the lp
or or uh you know whatever but i want to make sure that you can know what you're going to like
first what you should prioritize you know uh proud souls lets you refund the what a proud
sold is in dmc4 specifically is lets you buy a move and if you don't like the move you can refund
it and spend it on a different move to try it out i like that i like being able to see what moves i
like and what abilities i like and what i don't like and know for sure try to come up with something
and i'm having trouble i'll be honest i wish more honestly it's kind of redundant but i wish more
games had more options commiserate with stuff that i see in like reasonable and doom eternal
like just shit tons doom is doom eternal is like the gold standard there are like
10 different colorblind options oh yeah incredible yeah apex had some great colorblind options
yeah they had like five or four now i'm not colorblind despite what many of you may think
but for those of you who are colorblind as shit i assume you all appreciate that
uh i think every character action game should steal the void i think yeah the void's good
practice room is absolutely awesome and perfect and should exist
mm-hmm i like a fast forward on any rpg that has random battles
like once one of the one of the best things fast forward or earthbound level stomp on the
overworld one of the best things the gold uh not golden christ i keep doing that royal added
is uh rgy's old uh move that would just instant delete battles when you ambush people if you're
high enough level uh that has been changed to give you the experience and persona and money out of it
yeah and it's like good i'm high enough level that this shit's a joke why do i even need to
to do it show me your true form dead fuck off um yeah yeah stomping on the overworld and over
brand in earthbound is is is cool um that's a nice one uh and then the the fast forward feature
if you do end up in the fight of course yep that's quality of life that's good yeah totally
totally totally and i don't know if there's any like you just left field genre ones um
if i look at my steam list i bet you know what
reminds me of pillars of attorney one came out and only the really important mainline
story dialogue in that game was voiced and then they were like when i asked about it they're like
dude that's so expensive and ridiculous to do that that's dumb come on what do you what do you take
us for and then divinity original sin two came out which has way more dialogue and every single
line of dialogue is voiced and they were like yeah we just did it and then pillars two came out
and every single line of dialogue is voiced and it's just like mm-hmm uh-huh yes i brought it up
last week and it's relevant in this question so i'll say it again the timer that pauses in ff7 r
yeah that's a good one is the top of the list top of the list i recently saw that for the first time
i was like very impressed so good oh i have one every single game that has uh gear progression
and stats needs to have some kind of glamour transmog item make it look like a different item
monster hunter their next uh their next update comes with a couple monsters is going to finally
for the first time ever have the official ability to change the look of your weapon to a different
weapon yeah people which is like the biggest deal that's because that's the one thing i was
fucking piss babying about you know uh back i mean that's going to be end game so you're
still gonna piss baby but i just think the game would be really cool if you can do that that'd
be great that'd be great uh you know it's like come on uh nobody wants to look like the best
best hunter in the world but they're a slapdash bunch of shit um
okay okay how about this would you like to buy the demon's edge yes do you want to sell
your katana yes would you like to equip the demon's edge yes done thanks appreciate it very very
helpful simple just do it right here we're in the shop you know i'm gonna do this you know i'm
just gonna sell it instantly you know this is what's happening you know what i want my money to do
i'm replacing the thing i'm holding take what i'm holding in dokapon kingdom it even shows you the
discount yeah it goes that's cool okay we're gonna sell you this and we're gonna subtract the cost of
the thing you're holding because you don't even have a you don't have to switch between them you have
the you you wear one you know so it's like yeah do you want to sell it yeah of course you do you
want to put this on right now fuck yeah done okay yeah that's a good one that's a good one
make shopping make shopping easier minimize minimize that time and you know sorting options is always
nice and putting little highlights next to items that you've not you've haven't examined yet and
things like that you know we that all of that all of that all right so uh that'll do it and we're
gonna have that'll do it for them their emails there so uh hey once again you want to check our
stuff out check out woolly versus twitch and youtube woolly wills on twitter you might like what's
going on um we got a new lp starting this week to uh switch off between dokapon sessions with so
we're going to be basically alternating between new lp and dokapon uh for the time being so look
forward to that starting on tuesday all right yeah you come on down to twitch.tv slash pat stairs
at you can check out some ff7 some pp5 royal and also me and me and peach is the live old bicker
while this adorable baby cat is right here beep beep beep beep beep good baby uh we still got some
ff7 shit to talk about right yes we do so we're going to talk about that in the spoiler cast part
two this is uh up to chapter 14 ending slash beginning of chapter 15 that's correct and that
spoiler cast starts in five four three two one time to close chat i can't see you guys anymore get
the fuck out of my face ah so um games great i love it uh a minor point that i want to point out
which is um clouds dealing with tifa finding him in drag is better than i could have ever imagined
going yes i know nailed it moving on wow he knows he's killing it he knows he does yes like like
so you were wondering as you were always you were wondering i was wondering how are they going to
handle that scene and they clasped it up they clasped it up you know they andrea is a is a
significant improvement over bubby right um and they just turned the whole thing into a single
moment as opposed to a multi-part quest of getting the dress getting the wig getting all the parts
of it the entire well actually wolves it is a multi-part quest it's just hidden from you there
sure sure but uh it is entirely done in the form of like one moment on stage in a very uh
ruPaul's drag race kind of where where did where did cloud learn how to dance
so at first in the practice run when he's using his fighting to figure it out i'm like yeah that
makes sense he's swinging the sword around and he's like i can sword to the rhythm because that's
me but then later on he just adapts the moves and starts dancing like a fucking member of uh
of uh bts i've trooper whatever bts and i'm like all right there it is now you're doing what your
hair says you should be able to do pretty much yeah so that's a that would that was a a great
little improvement it's like it's like you know reno can dance look at reno yeah the thing we
really got to talk about was the bullet point that i walked away from my stream with the other day
which was going up to that plate and seeing ghosts just physically attacking people to make sure that
they die and then failing to kill good old wedge flat out wedge eats shit the same way
so yeah i don't know if you remember what it looked like in the original yeah i do but he eats
shit from the top top of the tower splats to the bottom gets a few words out dunski right like he
is dead man he is dead this time around grappling hook manages to soften the blow cuts the fall into
two falls basically and then he is then later able to fucking be okay because they pick him up right
and he's like he's he's unconscious but he's all right then later it's like nah you're going to
to get your cats or whatever get the fuck back in you're not allowed to live says the retcon goes
and i'm like oh no he's gonna he's gonna get it final destination is like no wedge you're supposed
to die but then you go underground magically clears a path and the cats must have dragged him down
there or some shit and you're like oh and it's the underground research lab that was mentioned
earlier in the game and was vaguely hinted at in some compilation of ff7 stuff in which you
fight some maco reactor soldier reject freakazoids and you see some bodies and some vials and i'm
like i know exactly what this location is called this location is called deep ground are you familiar
with deep ground no deep ground is a shinra occupation force made out of soldiers and soldier rejects
that was intended to come up post cataclysmic disaster to like re acquire shinra's hold on
the planet deep ground are the antagonists of one final fantasy seven dirge of cerberus
and then right when you're about to walk into the tubes where the people that you fight in deep
ground are yeah the retcon gross go no no no no no no no no you can't be here that sequel
shit okay so that room with the tubes was straight up dirge of cerberus is where like the the named
antagonists characters from deep ground would be in dirge of cerberus yeah okay in the back okay
okay and it's like okay that's not supposed to happen that's wrong it also canonizes that
well i don't know how much you've been paying attention but there's a lot of stuff that gets
tanninized in that game there's there's ads for a bonora white apples in the reactor right
the which are the dumb apples from the crisis corp the crisis core ads yeah um when you look
at the description of the buster sword it says that it's a legendary sword that has inherited
the will of those who fight yes which implies something if you're cloud but if you know the
deal you're like oh no that it's actually about ngl exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah so uh yeah no that
there's there's a lot going on like just under the surface and one of the things that i'm noticing
is i'm going through the games is like we discover in the fight against them with jesse is that the
ghosts are tangible to some degree when they want to be you you can hit them with stuff when they
want if they basically if they want you to if they want to stop you they have to be pseudo
tangible it seems they they they become corporeal for those moments and then otherwise they just
swarm you're you're getting the the crew that we're all familiar with is actually considerably
more capable than i remember them being like they're doing really well overall at beating up the bad
dudes and what happens is you're heading to the plate and it appears that you've made it to the
plate early right and the ghosts attempt to stop you and they fail because you beat them up you do
it and in fact i the second fight was way easier than the first one yeah but and you get to the
top of the tower and all that shit's happening and the plates falling and the ghosts go ham
to stop you from stopping the plate but as a result wedge and tons of people that should die
make it out so two things that are really cool uh one when um jesse is talking you see them start
to pile up behind her on her last line and they and yeah and it's like you don't even they don't
even have to do anything they're just in the shot and you're like okay that's a nice touch
but that's what i was going to ask you is how do you feel about the fact
that there was an evacuation it's crazy like thing like that so they even talk about it briefly
it's like shinra is very disappointed because it was supposed to be like it was supposed to be
hyper tragedy but and it's so many people like the 9-11 of uh of mid-gaunt yeah and as a result
it's like yeah it's a it's a disaster okay now guess what but like tons of people get out now are
you now here's the problem i'm shinra yeah because i'm like that's the moment that like
makes you go holy fuck these people right and you're supposed to like have that moment be
a paradigm shift that to be honest never quite goes away until the even when the credits roll
on the game by the time you beat the game there's nothing quite still on the level of like
they pan caked an entire city of people don't even don't don't don't forget the people who live
on the plate plate as it's not just the the the the disgusting rats that live below it's everyone
in the normal suburbs above as well it's psychotically evil right part of that is is the
ongoing attempt to connect the dots for why uh cloud and the gang would not just try and murder
rino and rude the instant they ever see them ever again mm because um i don't know how well you
remember the first one but rino in the original was all about dropping so that's what's crazy
i he did not give a shit so that's the thing right and i'm like i there's the bit now right
i fucking love the turks that they're super cool guys but you have to totally acknowledge
that rino jumps off that helicopter and goes i'm smacking this button fuck yeah let's go right
and it's and it's like they they make a deal out of it it's like they don't like the mission
they don't want to be there the only reason rino gets fired up is because he has a personal
ready with cloud with cloud and then rude does not get fired up no but he joins and you get an
early reward in the form of fighting both of them instead of just one of them you know which in the
original you fought rino and lose yeah and he gets the fuck out here you you dramatically stop them
and also you get that fucking the co-op moment right explosion glasses hand on the shoulder
i like how they've integrated rude's secret crush on tifa into cutscenes as well as gameplay
rude will never attack tifa ever ever really and i didn't notice that yes that's always been a thing
even in the original he does not attack him and here you see him like in cutscenes like
actively sabotaging the mission when rino goes to shoot her oh yeah yeah yeah yeah right right
it's cool and then he goes what was that about yeah and if you attack rude with tifa he like
dodges behind her and like claps the back of her neck like yes i did see that did happen to me and
then he then he switches targets yes okay right um also when you when you switch to um
isn't there a point where uh you you switch to erith and rino is like get out of here girl
you know what are you doing yeah it's it's a lot more
like chill he's just like listen get get out of the way you know what i mean he kind of just a
super dismissive um uh this the the plate is when stuff starts to really fly off the rails
because i don't know if you remember erith takes marlene home all the way home in the original
then and then gets grabbed by saying at the house and then they show up on the helicopter
during the plate scene and sang talks to you from the helicopter and tells you about all the
shit and then she tries to warn you all marlene's at the house and then saying like backhands are
back into the into the helicopter yes exactly right here she's like nah we'll make a deal and
it's a lot more friendly also like that backhand is a very clear oh my god go get her this is bad
whereas in this case you have to like plead with uh her mom el myra to be like hey can we go get her
because you know so here's the weird thing about that too is i know this is accurate to the to the
the flow of events right but it was weird for me how like the place fall you walk through town
everyone's fucked up barrett is like emotionally scarred and he's like oh my god what's going on
and then he's like oh wait there's a chance she's alive please do give me something to hold on to
right and then you get there and like there's everything like there's just a bit of a feeling
where i was just like everyone should be freaking the fuck out not just the npcs everyone should be
talking about nothing but how many people just died this is insane yeah it's because the craziest
thing like the sky literally the sky fell right and like i'm like there's almost like and thank god
they still give it that they give it those moments a little bit after their house right you have that
scene with tifa going like holy shit and everything and there's um there's really just this kind of
like oh god what do we do now but in the moment of the tragedy i'm looking for like like what the
like like a complete breaking of what's what of your understanding right and there's a couple of
characters that like kind of don't behave in a way i would expect them to behave given that the sky
just fell uh one of them is you run by andrea on the andreus on the at the market and he's like
i will be preparing a show in these times it is more than is needed more than ever uh uh you're
welcome to join me if you like on the stage awaits awaiting you you know and i'm like you should
like like i'm like that's a ridiculous like that's what he would say but it's also like
dude like it's seconds ago it happened seconds ago right it's the craziest thing that is literally
ever in your entire life secondly running back to marlita to erith's house and then you have a
discussion about the ancients it's like the dust is still on your faces you know what i mean the
dust is still on your faces that run back gives me something that i was i was wanting an answer to
the whole game so far which is clad starts tripping his balls right and sef starts taunting him as he
likes to do yes and we get a good reaction shot from tifa where she turns around and clad is just
freaking out nothing nothing yes and that that great and so but you like okay so uh if i'm not
mistaken that moment in the original he ends up on the floor he has a flashback he has a moment and
then um i am i am all but certain that that moment does not actually occur in the original uh there's
there's a you sephroth do you run into no no no no not sephroth not sephroth it's a it's a it's a
it's a uh a zakback right or rather an ancient voice uh a voice of the ancients talking to him
in this moment where we're like uh basically like he gets live stream in him and then he
drops to the ground and then they kind of go dude are you okay and they wake him back up off i
i i i don't know what you're talking okay well i went i went back to look at it right
but there's a scene in the original where cloud literally falls to the ground and blacks out
and they pick him back up and then you start running through the uh the underground passage
you know okay um um uh there's a lot of little details that come through so
one is we find out that those yellow flowers that erith always keeps symbolize reunion
and you're like uh of course they do but earlier in the game when she gives it to you she says
that these are for parted lovers reuniting and she gives it to cloud who actually gives it to tifa
and it's like oh that's a nice little ah cute but uh fuck all that
my erith gets to the bar leans down gives marlina hug and we get what i thought was clouds flashback
filter except it's not clouds flashback filter it's a generic vision filter and and the kid
literally looks at her and goes oh you what and erith gives a little like a fucking wink and a nod
to you and goes to the camera hey hey marlene now that you know shut the fuck up okay then
then later on that's when i went from marlene is like oh that lady uh never mind yeah and that's
when i went from oh some funky stuff is going on or like maybe there are some scattered pieces
right to no there is an explicit foreknowledge of events a hundred percent of a lot of events
uh i build do you remember the line where she's like um we can still save as many people as we as
uh we can still save as many people as possible and then tifa says something to the effect of
you sound like it already happened yeah or is something uh the other thing she says something
is at the beginning of the she says something to the effect of like she kind of just acknowledges
you you're not going to stop the plate from falling right and and like it's in the middle of trying
to stop it and then and eris is kind of like erith is kind of like uh let's make sure to save
everybody yeah let's do what we can you know and she's like what the fuck we're trying to stop it
you know there's two more of of that i mentioned it last week but it didn't really hit me until
now and it's like when when they get to erith's house she's been so familiar with him that cloud
snaps at her and says stop acting like you know me and the second one is that when tifa turns to
when the plate's getting all you know they're at the foot of the plate and wedge is like being
tended by cloud um tifa's like i gotta get up there erith will you please and then erith
finishes her sentence and says get marlene at the bar right exactly exactly exactly and the only
way she could have known that was when she's in when you guys are in the in the train graveyard
and then um uh tifa has a little tifa has a little uh it's a vision she has a vision of a child
that's marlene in the ghost house right but you're like so if you wanted to do if you wanted to you
could be like oh yeah sure erith is just listening to um the live stream and it's telling her about
this but it's like nah no she knew exactly what to do and where to get it right and secondly
she literally when she runs into uh there's a line i want to say where she goes um oh your dad or
something like that and she goes oh you mean barrett and she refers to barrett like knowing
exactly about his she drops his name when his name has never been dropped to her
i believe so yeah um i would have to go back through the footage but i'll probably do it on
hard mode or somebody will confirm that at some point down the line don't confirm to me near
future guys but you remember when the very first cutscene cloud can't see the the beings at all
and erith is being attacked by them yes they're invisible like when you meet her and then he touches
the instant she touches him then they become visible he can see so the instant she touches you
know marlene she knows things as well you notice that jessie and bigs can't see them
no they can't like there is there is a hard distinction on people who can see them and who
can't and he actually asks about them how you guys have you ever fought invisible enemies
and and they go no i'm right i bet if you went through the cutscenes you would be able to find
like oh no the because jessie touches cloud i bet there is like a a touch transference thing
well your team is fighting literally run into erith at some point your well here's what i don't
know it might just be direct with her if that is a thing but your team is fighting them as a group
right when they come around the second time oh that's right jessie and bigs and they can see them
so does that mean reenown rude can see them i don't because they didn't act like they did they
they ran right through them um you definitely you definitely uh again you you definitely have
the crew fighting them as avalanche so it's like yeah it might not be a like what the the
touch transference thing or whatever who knows it might just be you know um based on cloud entirely
but but either way you know um that's what we're getting there there's a suspicious
shit happening in this remake and i am fascinated to see because like wedge being alive is wrong
i don't mean like it's bad you know i mean like it's incorrect and you finding deep ground
and busting into deep ground like a decade before it turns on is also wrong
um so they're fighting fate dude yeah but fighting fate what is like you know what that means
it means gacked
it means gacked will appear is he the ghosts was the go no oh god that that would be really bad
no no the ghost yeah i i'm going to uh i think i think the very first guess i had i'm gonna stick
with it which was these are timeline equivalents of weapon which is like stop it no really stop it
it's your it's it's uh it's a chord it's it's g-band yeah it's it's the it's the beats from beyond
yeah i really wonder and this is this is this is like like put my my fucking crazy tinfoil hat on
if it has anything to do with the way that the original game ends
hmm do you remember the last last thing you see in the original ff seven thousands of years in the
future red 13 no no no no not that that's the post ending i'm talking about the ending where meteor
hits holy the last thing you see is arith in the slums looking at that pipe
uh okay so you think it's you think it's the the start of that
like is this like a two-year-long groundhog day yeah yeah because that would be no it would be
it would be very weird if that's what was happening but all signs point to this clearly being
not the first time through these events so the only question is yes under what circumstances
are they being replayed you know um yeah so then you get the uh the other bits that are just like
excuse me elaborations of of of these moments um yeah current corneos mansion wall mar uh
wall market like oh it's all good it's all great fantastic uh corneos huge piece of shit
you know i love how he got away
leslie sucks dude here's the thing actually leslie is like i don't i don't i don't i leslie's
okay but the problem is that even though they throw him this kind of like here's his motivation
moment you're like yeah but you fucking you sat there at the door and you sold girls in
you took you tried to talk him away for six months afterwards so you you you totally were an
accomplice bro like i get it you have a tragic backstory but you are 100 hands red guilty and
yeah and before you forget before you give this pretty boy with a cool haircut the benefit of the
doubt you mean off brand noctis don't forget that he also grabs tifa and erith and he walks into the uh
the thug room and he goes here you go boys courtesy of the dawn don't say he never does
nothing for you and he later comes back with their gear because andreas tells him to that's
that's a coin toss man and that's like that he hands them over and then he comes back and goes
by the way check it out here's your buster sword and shit and it's like i'm sure people
play oh he knew they'd be fine and i'm like i didn't know they'd be fine yeah yeah yeah um
but uh so uh him and curie a aka marie 2.0 oh my god um so uh our book characters are they
they pre-exist yes okay they are from a ff7 official novella called the kids aren't all right
because i had a whole i i have a thing here where i want to talk about the new characters
there are not as many actually new characters as you think okay i want madame m choco sam
and andre are definitely yes but here's the thing um of the list of characters that weren't in the
original game i'll say that much right um most of them are great yeah most of them are great like
even though leslie sucks i enjoy his presence in the game and and and you know oats is you're not
an annoying kid i like the way oats talks he talks like you're actually a weirdly capable he talks
like a capable child he has a moment where he tells barrett to fuck off but oats is like yeah
you're all right kid you know like you're you're taking that moogle kids insane moogle kids what
moogle kids nuts but oats takes care of him as you would the lost boys you know uh uh you know what
i see when i look at uh poochie 2.0 first i want to get there i want to get there i want uh because
okay sorry okay no you know what fine no no no let's go let's go because what i'm astonished
at how similar the design is to marie that is an incredibly specific style it's so close it's so
crazy blue hat black and white stock gloves the she pins on the hat she's pooch she's pure poochie
it's it's wild poochie time um but you know what she actually is awful and annoying and the worst
she's yufi doesn't fit in this part of the game why would yufi be here you think yufi's not gonna
be that annoying is she yufi yufi was the dumb kid who just stole from you okay okay okay okay okay
the the shitty thief part of it right yes but the part where she starts out being like
fuck avalanche they're full of shit it's literally just a hustle and then she's like pay me my gill
and i'm like oh this girl is the worst it's it's literally just a hustle of course it is yufi is
is totally gonna be just she's extreme uh kirie i almost said marie kirie is extraordinarily
hateable i despise her but she's got a cute hat and she's standing near the flowers and i
bet you anyone that's an arithmark is like how dare you stand near those flowers yeah that would
that was a weird decision to put her in there how dare you um man andrea dude dude andrea is the
shit yeah he's great he's the best uh did you get those pull-ups it's uh i got him and apparently
that is the hardest thing to do in the game yes yes because it took me a couple tries it took me a
while it took me a couple tries um that dude's a pull-up monster yeah i got i i read a single
piece of advice that was that that helped a lot which was every time your muscles get stuck
press the button exactly five times and that that changed it for me um okay but yeah yeah
fucking wild uh so so of the new characters right so here's the thing now i talk so i already
talked i talked about uh fucking poochie's awful i hate her um yeah uh rush is a dweeb
fuck him dude he's never coming back i feel it he was added to he was added to fill out that sequence
yeah i'm so sure oh my god he might he might never come back it's true they're gonna no no no
he's gonna show up in some form he's gonna show up in some form he's gonna he's gonna rear his
dumb head in one way or another and get something uh anticlimactic um like the right place to put him
would be in the in the bike chase out i was good yes exactly that's that's prop that's where you
actually bring it to a close right i was going to say yo so this johnny character and then
oh you're dumb me he was super there i know i know and i saw it and i went oh shit this fucking red
beard guy that's like i'm a ghost take it out of my own yeah they just fleshed him out
a lot a lot he's got time but i was gonna say he wasn't a character before he was a named npc right
with like like does he have anything besides that no he he shows up in walmart and that's about it
i think later yeah so so so like i gotta stretch it gotta stretch it dude go like fucking going
off going off the memory i definitely am like who the fuck is this and it's like oh my god there he
is he totally wasn't the original that's crazy uh his dad is a fucking sleaze he's going after him
great here's what's here's what's fucked right you run into him and he's all like oh yeah my tifa
whatever and he's like okay i gotta i got my wallet stolen thanks for getting my wallet back i'm
gonna get out of here i'm gonna go do stuff and i'm like didn't your mom just die
no she's fine and then and then because there was a weird moment where i didn't realize how many
people survived and they didn't say that line yet so the plate drops it's tons the plate drops
people get out and you and i assume that like 10 percent of the people made it out right
no it's it's it's really way more exactly it's like most of the but that line that says that there's
a point in time where you where you don't know that and i'm like these people standing at the park
are it and the people in the fucking tunnel are it and outside of the survivors in the rubble
everyone's fucking flattened and then it's like no so here's not enough for it to be a tragedy
so when you now that it's a full game you actually see the entirety of the sector seven slums
there's maybe 200 people that live there right game scale and game scale in in the sure but in
the cutscenes that you see a ton of people running out droves like hundreds and you're and you're
walking by some people that are like huh what's going on where's everybody going and even people
that you would have assumed to have been pancaked you run into you run into betty and it's it it's
very clear that like the vast majority of people got out so that feels almost like you're robbing
an emotional spike from the original game in the form of like this is supposed to make you
want to burn shinra to the ground harder than ever before well here's the thing though they
still attempted yes they still did i know whether or not i totally did the same way that avalanche
still had thought they did it even though they did it right and okay so we need to okay if we're
going to talk about the plate falling nothing else matters other than what i'm going to bring up
so namura said that new players it would be very good to start on the remake as your first experience
with ff7 okay we now know that to be a total lie yeah yeah fuck that but absolutely but
never before was it more obvious about how much of a lie that was in that the most tragic
like city destructive loss of life thing that could ever happen in this game is happening
and the city and all the nine elevens are falling on each other and they're burning
and we cut to shinra hq oh god and and shinra man is like getting a boner and he's like all
those people are dead and then we pan down to a one and a half foot tall robotic stuffed cat with
a crown run out and go oh and then it cuts back to tifa barrett and cloud swinging on the on the
wire people who don't know are going to be so fucking confused this sad cat why is sad cat sad
it's so fucking weird it makes no sense okay now and i was talking a page about it and she put
together something that i didn't realize and her assumption is that that is like 10 minutes after
k kai shi kai shi kate sith or whatever has been completed and he was on his way to stop the plate
but was like a half hour too late now if i'm not just why he's like running out and he sees it
burning and is like oh fuck it's terrible now if i'm not mistaken is he not controlling it to
make it look sad and fall over and do that yes that is a like a vr robot a robot is falling over
and going no no yeah exactly exactly now and also i mean you all talk about characters showing up
early dude kate sith shows up at the very first time after you like fall into the desert underneath
the gold saucer yeah it's like crazy he was way way out there so that's a wild cut that's like that
is not for any and it's not a big one but it's not for anybody that uh it's it's so weird you know
it's so baffling that being said though there is absolutely going to be a ton of people playing
this as their first time touching ff7 so there's you just no way to avoid that and i'm going to assume
hitting the ending and going what so whatever we'll see you know um okay what i wanted to talk about
though well not like as we're going that through them i'm like so oats is great miss folia is great
she's all right caught her in the wall market
what what did you catch her in wall market i did okay uh she got a dance for the orphans
little bit of becky going on there a little bit yeah mirai cool
which one's the mirai um kirie's grandma the uh angel of the slums oh the angel of the slums
rat old lady the worst kept secret in the universe yeah from the jump the moment the quest started
and a random lady with a character design was like oh they say the angel of the slow all right yeah
that's that's how long is it how many hours is this going to take 35 okay a long time a long time
actually wow yeah that is like so i heard about how uh ff ff7 wow ff ff7 ff13 takes 20 hours to open up
technically this game takes 35 hours to open up technically that's right um anyway so you know
yeah madame m m dray's chocobo sam all cool you know what moral awesome landlady
nice little reference i like these new characters i think they're all fucking yeah they're they're
solid i think uh there's obvious there's an incredibly obvious distinction between um what
i'm going to call real content which is remade shit expanded content which i'm going to say
johnny marl chocobo sam etc and filler yep which is the most of the side content which is like
almost laughable russian curie howl go into the fuck these kids pile yeah and then there's just
question mark question mark question mark chadley yet again dude chadley is like a weird mutant
from another game did you transplanted it please tell me you talked to him while the plates were
falling i don't remember if you find chadley while the plates are falling right when you get back to
sector five and you're like hey bro what do you have to say and chadley's just standing there
as usual on the street corner like some kind of hussy and chadley's just like in these trying times
i sure do hope that our materia quest can come to fruition so i can age you to take
down shenra i look forward to your battle research investigations i'm like you fucking weirdo why are
you so weird there's there's there's so much about him that's baffling like even with the way he says
that like i've discovered a new materia it's like it you're channeling recipe and the recipe
shit but like but it's not quite as boys no you because i want it's not quite that it's not quite
the same it's because it's like there's love coming into that recipe whereas i discovered a new
materia is robotic did you talk to him in the dress yes what are these emotions i am feeling
i am processing a strange emotion yeah he's yeah he's he's a weirdo dude
what can i say hey let me ask you who did you get for your affinity scene
well yeah who did you get for your affinity scene affinity scene
so in the original ff7 there's a secret like tally between erith tifa and barrett and cloud
isn't that that's for the date right that determines the day here
that determines who you uh sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to talk to
in the flower field oh that's variable i didn't know that so there was they they did that
early in this game yeah interesting i didn't know that okay uh yeah well you bet your ass it was
tifa because yes okay but guess what though you want to know what the most obvious point tally
system there was everybody falls which of them do you pick up first off the floor
two bodies on the ground unconscious who you're gonna check on first no hesitation absolutely
and now we're gonna talk mad shit about the one that's unconscious together oh man she's such a
dumb broad oh my god i can't believe it yeah instantly you go talk you instantly go pick up
tifa on that no question you know so yeah she i thought that was dedicated so wait that scene plays
out uh how uh i don't know what are the i mean your alternative is barrett i was or erith
isn't she gone at the time yes so the the answer of i don't know is pointed i don't know weird
okay i mean there's also the small questioning moments of like you know do you answer these
questions with answer a or b yeah uh what when you uh when you went to walmart yeah what quests
did you do to get the dress uh i mean all of the green all i mean all no no what what were they
okay was the clothes maker getting the magazine back
and healing people from the pharmacy oh my god so the reason i asked because you know how choco
choco sam asks you to flip a coin yes i did that it if you choose heads or tails you lose
and you get a certain set of quests and if you choose no deal you get a difference i chose no
deal okay so did your dress have a tiara i don't remember because there's a bunch of i didn't yeah
i cannot get for all the okay i didn't know that no i i i i chose no deal um and then
when it was to go talk to the big three i only went to i was about to go into one and i realized
that one of them had johnny outside and i was like oh wait let me go find johnny and do the one where
he's outside there's like he he stands near a certain one of them and then i because they can
all wear different dress oh interesting based on how you do the quests and uh the what the
arith's dress is based on uh how many of the sector five quests you complete uh what about the
pigtails can you get the pigtails uh i feel like i had i didn't have pigtails i just had the let me
go back and check i had like the look like a cloud mullet cloud mullet it was long in the long hair
going in the back but cloud hair up front and i was i was going to be tough because i was expecting
the you know spiky hair up front and then pigtails kind of look from the original but i i did i
just ended up being long i don't know if there's multiple styles to that i'm i'm trying to find
in my footage this is going to take okay well anyway i wow i'm surprised to hear there's that
level of uh variability anyways yeah so when you play it on hard mode you can fucking go and do
different what kind of hand massage did you get i totally got a little little pigtails on either
side of cloud really i have i can even yeah i can i fucking i'll send you the fucking i did not get
pigtails at all that's interesting yeah yeah hold on i i got a timestamp i can send to you
you can just yeah i'll take a fucking screenshot take a fucking what kind of massage did you get
i got a cheap one and an expensive are you reloaded i reloaded what's the difference here
here's your screen here's a screenshot of the cloud that i got okay
oh
that's completely different this is a completely different cloud from the one i got
that's crazy my cloud is wearing a completely different dress and a completely different hairstyle
and i don't have a thing on my hair yeah yeah yeah mine was mine was a top to bottom not the same at
all cool how'd you do on the rhythm game uh i did i did i took the practice three four times
till i got a perfect because you get a music track out of it um and then i did uh i think i got like
mostly perfects with like two bads in the in the final i got i got all perfects except for one
great in the final and i got the music track yeah that was good um i was gonna ask about the uh
shit it was right before that
the boss
no all right fuck it you can't remember hey how about turning the weirdest enemies
that ff7 ever had into giant set piece boss fights fuck that how so that's rad and i love when
you're down hell house man so thank you so like you you were talking about oh my god i i the hell
house better show up hell house better show up and like it's a boss not only does hell house show up
they give it the most fucking fanfare you've ever imagined you get a bunch of people going what it's
a it's a house they build up hell house so crazy it's it's so fucking sick yeah yeah yeah like it
and like it has modes that you have to worry like there's a whole thing to it it's one it's one of
the most complex bosses i fought in the whole for sure and then you and then you fucking take it out
with this big fancy kill and then the whole crowd goes but it's like okay yeah oh i i am i am i'm
excited to fight the ghost ship and like the triceratops at the wheels if they're gonna treat
hell house this um uh uh battle coliseum music banger track oh dude the music's all incredible
right there's like like when you're just hanging out in the in the in the fucking
back room wait there's so many remixes of the battle theme yes that was so satisfying you're
gonna hear this for hours you might as well go through a couple versions of it you go into that
basement and then like you hear loud yelling from far away and it's like hey what's up behemoth
how you doing so um you can't you're a proto weirdo behemoth so you can't do ecliptic meteor
like you're supposed to but it can do totally do a counter spell but you can do a counter
spell and you can also shake the rocks from the ceiling and try and crushes with the kind of pro
like you know babies proto meteor those fights feel great those are the fights that feel like oh
we're doing it this is like those fights where you're fighting like behemoth or where you're fighting
abzu um these it feels it's almost like this is how it looked you know and there's a couple of
moments where like you pull up the atb meter and like tifa is mid fucking roundhouse kick in mid air
and i'm just like oh yes so let me ask you and i kind of want to finish on this because i gotta
get it i'm starving dude but how much of a feeling do you get that the next one's gonna be a lot
sooner than this one took out because there is so much like prep work being made for features
that are barely used here's a fast travel system that can only bring you to like six locations
here's enemy skill in which there are four four enemy skills in the game and i only i picked up
one by mistake and i missed the other one because i didn't realize you have to actively be controlling
the character that's using enemy skill there are more materia that you then you can actually
fucking use to to kit yourself out right going through this game like when are you gonna use
fucking bio like who's doing that you know uh bio actually works on pretty much everybody so
i've been just doing elemental resistances you know well that's that works too but like there's
and you only get 12 magic materia total in the whole game uh and it's just like
the level cap is 50 it's and it's just like this a lot of this feels like set up like there
there are these groundwork is well developed mechanics that are used like how about this
how about this how many limit breaks do the characters get
so far cloud has two you know two they get two and guess what some of them are their old
final limits um barrett gets catastrophe is his level two okay so have you grabbed those already
yeah oh i guess i didn't grab them yet you'd go to the go to the the go to the fucking battle arena
when the solo okay okay okay uh and also eriths is only available in the when you leave the arena
for the first time you have to immediately turn back around and go back in with her oh you have
to do it in post you don't get to do it okay yeah because she's never in your party in that area
again so so so all that to say that all you you basically like uh you're seeing that you get these
two and you're just like yeah so all the rest are the rest of the journey you know the the
groundwork has been laid here why would you be walking out of midgar with seven limit breaks
so you know what i really really really like about the level cap being 50
50 is the exact level of power that flashback sephroth had oh yeah okay sephroth is level 50
with maxed out fire lightning and ice okay which is what my cloud pretty much looks like right now
now and it's also way stronger than how you left midgar in the first game well yeah i sure as fuck
wasn't in my level 30s when i left med midgar back in the day maybe i was i can't remember
anyway yeah that game's good i'm very excited to talk to you about it next week
mm-hmm which i would feel is an understatement um
last thing i'm gonna say is uh you cannot say that they do not know exactly what they're doing
the deliberateness of the subtitle that appears the first time uh fucking um what's his name
a little green little green fucker comes out with the knife tonberry comes out is this the face of
mercy like i think the subtitle is like oh you're really in for it now or something where it's just
like oh this is made for me is you you frame the shot of him walking with the knife forward
and them saying something like that for the internet this is made for twitter top tonberry is an
incredible incredible enemy i love tonberries and this game totally did it justice because
it could barely move and then it just taps you and your character dies fight with caution it hits
you it i think it hits you for more health than you can even yeah yeah you know if not for the
laws of this land i would have slaughtered you yeah it's the it's the starter pack with Kirby
with the knife all right yeah tonberry is a shit all right ff7 good seven great and uh more final
thoughts later and yeah definitely a couple there's a couple of other things that that you know i
touched on the art that i wanted to touch on but yeah well we'll talk about that all that later it
yeah we'll have a bigger part bigger part of next week be ff7 feels weird seeing the energy of of
tragedy be deflected you know be like the deflected and read but to be fair you got a
lot of that early you got that tragedy earlier in the game because the the the maco reactor explosion
is way more damaging this is true this is true but you're supposed to feel that robbed from you
when you see a sword in that fuckers back yeah well luckily enough i i don't since i had to
rerecord that part that is the most depressing part of like most games that i played in a long time
because you get jesse and big's dead you assume that wedge is dead then you go get almyra uh sorry
you get arith captured then sefra taunts you then you go get to talk to almyra and she recounts to
you about arith's mom and her husband dead and it's within like 45 minutes it's so depressing
people hate wutai oh i'm damn wutai's all right i gotta get out okay see you guys
y'all have a good uh whatever
so
so
so
so
so