Castle Super Beast - CSB 065: All Teachers Get One Until It Is Done

Episode Date: April 21, 2020

Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Cancel all struggles, the Plight of Karen has arrived. FF7R Second Impressions spoilercast at the end. You can watch us record the podcast l...ive on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: FF7 REMAKE - CORNEO COLOSSEUM (Pre-Battle) Enable two-factor authentication for your Switch account now Kirby devs want the next series installment to be the "pinnacle of Kirby games," also interested in a non-action spin-off and more Tanuki Sunset - This Synthwave Raccoon Skateboarding Game Original Resident Evil 2 Leon Kennedy Voice Actor Paul Haddad Has Died Ninjala open beta set for April 28th, 2020 Danganronpa 'Anniversary Editions' headed to mobile platforms Burnout Paradise Remastered is out on June 19, according to the Switch eShop (Update) The Cooking Mama drama continues, as its developer alleges that the game was unlawfully released early Darts Competition Moves Online, Players Withdraw Because Their Internet Sucks  

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Starting point is 00:00:00 ... Hello. Good afternoon. Well, good afternoon everyone at home. How are you all today? Well, they can't answer, but I can. Doing okay. That's cool. So I've said a lot of stupid shit in my life and on this podcast and out there. And a lot of people told me that I should not say something or that it was bad to say. And I've been told that to not say racist things and to not use the hard R, but I swear to God, Karen, you will not stop me from saying Karen. Now the question is how does one not use a hard R with Karen? I don't. Cowan. Cowan. Cowan is the is the one for Oh, no, Cowan. Did you get a bad batch of eggs at the grocery store? Cowan is the way. Yeah,
Starting point is 00:01:39 that's how you do it. Indeed. Full-throated Karen. Full-throated hard R Karen. That's right. Full-throated hard R Karen is the new OK boomer. Yes. There's really something about these people. The boomers. Anyone over 40 really. Just these minor passive aggressive little jokes. Marry fucking Karen. Yeah, losing their fucking mind. Just after I feel like it's been 15 years of Time Magazine saying that millennials are destroying the planet or whatever the fuck. Yeah. Yeah, like like giant splash page of like some asshole behind a computer gone. I can't believe these millennials in their avocado toasts are killing all the babies or whatever the fuck. Millennials are standing in the Shinra building looking out as they destroy the planet and suck all the life
Starting point is 00:02:46 from it. But saying but saying like, OK, Karen, you boomer. It's like that's a hate crime. Yeah. Well, I can't believe it. Well, two important things. One, you're looking at you're looking at people who, you know, when you ever see the the reaction in the the old kids cartoon of the super rich kid getting smacked for the first time or getting beat and just having an absolute hissy fit because they've never experienced this feeling before. You hit me. Joffrey gets smacked in season one. There's many other examples throughout, you know, whether it's the fucking Richie Rich movie or whatever else where you see the the spoiled child going, I what is this? My reality. It's a little bit of that. But it may not you're not allowed to hit me. But that's
Starting point is 00:03:39 happening. They're always this tiny little British Ponce that that's happening later in life for these people. The second thing. And that's important is that if we're going off of the specific thing that I retweeted, which is the post notification to millennials to stop using the K word. That is a single a single tweet account. And the level that the troll level is got here. It's through the roof because it is clearly a fake account. And it is to care and it is taking it is taking a real angry word and a real angry concept that has been flying around. Because we've seen the origins of this idea coming from real angry Karen's online that don't like the idea of being put into a box because their ideas suck and they're out of shit.
Starting point is 00:04:34 I will say one thing and I do feel genuinely bad for people whose first names become terms of derision. Yes. Because you can't escape that and you may have nothing to do with it. That sucks. Perhaps. But at the same time, there is a bit there's something a little bit magical about the discovery that like, OK, so fuck you, Karen. Originally, she's taken the kids. She's she's taken half my money. She's gone complaining at Walmart. She's the worst, right? Fine. That's your little box over here, right? And then you have another thing that you have like a choosing beggars where it's like, you must give me your Xbox for free because I am a mother and my child deserves it. And you must also give me the four hundred dollars that you are asking for
Starting point is 00:05:32 because you don't know what it's like swimming story so much. It's the best. It's the best thing in the world, right? It's a level of entitlement that makes me so giddy because the person's reality is so like it's such a farce. And so what we get there, right, is this this level of choosing beggars, right? And then occasionally you get you get wrapped up into there's like the red. It's like nice guys and nice girls where there's these awful people that are just like completely just undatable garbage in their attitudes. And what happens is you finally realize that some of these things are actually just different parts of the same Voltron. These are different zords connecting into a giant mega zord. And you go, oh my God, holy
Starting point is 00:06:21 shit, the whole time we've been peeking at a choosing beggar, not realizing it's the same bitch that took the kids, not realizing, you know, that asking for the manager is also that same super horrible, undatable person. And all of this just fits into a great, perfect package that is, oh, you're Karen. You're Karen. Well, I have a, I have a, I have a good idea. I have a good idea for the stream for the podcast for both of our streams. What if we embodied the Karen lifestyle, got some good knee socks up here, up to our knees, right? And we just say we're not going to start the podcast until we hit that sub donation amount. What do you even hear watching the podcast if you don't have $5 to sub? What are you doing? Shouldn't you be working? I have what are you wasting your
Starting point is 00:07:20 time for? What like a blight on society? I've got some socks that go a pretty high up my feet right now. I got some real big cosies. They're coming up at least to the thighs, at least they're big and they're thick and they're warm. So I'm halfway there. But you know what my favorite part about that shit is? Yeah. Is that I am talking about that chick that got in trouble recently. But you don't even know what you're saying, because what you're saying also literally is just low tier God. That's exactly what I was getting to. And I see people in the chat going like, oh, no, that's low tier God. I'm like, I know that you started saying that. And it's like, oh, no, that's just the that's the other thing, you know, but yeah, yeah, that that was a gem of a clip
Starting point is 00:08:04 where, hey, man, it really what's a sub, right? And then low tier God says to the universe, I'm not going to go to Evo or CEO unless you guys pay my way. And then Evo and CEO go hold on, bro, we got you. Yeah, we got you. Don't worry about those donation goals. You're never going ever again. Well, you know, that clip with the with the with the that's that's like Karen in the making type ideals. That's not you. That's because you're not quite there yet, you know, the Karen O Karen, the proto Karen. Absolutely. The there's a there. There's one that I saw earlier today, which was like a follow up from a different person that was somebody saying, guys, I've had things on this Amazon wishlist for like a month.
Starting point is 00:08:59 I still don't have them. Hold on. That took a second. Yeah. What's going on guys? I put these things on there like weeks ago. Hello. Come on. What's going on? Man. I'd like to take this moment to say thank you to everybody who listens to this podcast, whether or not you do anything other than listen to the podcast. Boy. Wow. Yeah. So here's the thing, right? It's it's that like there's nothing to stop you. Like reality doesn't rush up to hit you in the face as often as one would hope in these situations because a lot of these people are able to make it really far into their lives, right? They're able to get pretty far into the quest,
Starting point is 00:09:53 you know, and never, ever, ever realize how badly they've specced out. I remember it's kind of crazy people in my mid 20s that were still coasting on just superficial good looks and literally nothing else. Yeah. And all I could think of is and I'm talking guys and gals as well, but there's no preference here. And all I could think of is like you better get a meal ticket fast because if you get to a certain point, hey, bro, hey, bro, who's got who's cool with your shirt off and, you know, and it's like, oh, man, the hair and all that, there's going to be a point where your bachelor lifestyle starts to fucking fold in on itself. Johnny die. Yeah, Johnny Johnny with the open shirt and the chiseled abs. Yeah. I mean,
Starting point is 00:10:57 hey, it is what it is. Yeah. If you don't lock it down at a certain point, all that shit that's cool is going to be profoundly uncool. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm fucking old, man. Well, yeah, it is. It is definitely such that, like, you know, that is a likelihood, but there's also a very distinct and clear possibility of one, you know, you just got to land on your sugar daddy slash sugar mama, right, to do the full on hookups, at least until, you know, they're tired of that. The other thing, of course, is just that, like, you can actually, obviously, as we know, we bring this up, I feel like pretty often, but if you are just like shitty enough to most people who are attempting to be decent in life, you can get pretty far as well, right? It's crazy. Asking for the
Starting point is 00:12:00 manager, there's a reason why that's the that's the go to response, right? It's because up until that point in time, it has worked. One might assume they have gotten what they wanted out of doing that. And in many cases, an employee that, well, let's say this was before the time of, like, having a cell phone recording of some shit, an employee would be like, this is not worth it, right? And here's the other thing, the old school manager coming out is probably of her generation and is probably going to chew me out for whatever the fuck she's angry at. And then she'll just have her way because the customer is always right. So as somebody who had to deal with many, many, many, many Karen's asking for the manager, there's there's a there's a little
Starting point is 00:12:45 sub piece of that. And that is that it has a cool down on its effectiveness. No matter how open and, you know, carrying your fucking manager is or whatever to like, oh, the customer is always right. You do that every week. A month, then they're going to ask you to never come back. Ever. Because there's only so many free pieces of shit you can give away before the person becomes a total net loss. Well, it also becomes clear that you you're angling and how you're angling, you know, like if someone comes in looking for a fight that no one is going to give them, then I distinctly remember it's a lot harder to get that that fucking con going. This old bitch came in and was doing her fucking birdseed racket. And like the instance, like
Starting point is 00:13:33 you want to okay, fun, we're going to get the manager. And my manager Lorraine comes out and she looks at her and she's just like, get out. Yeah. Yeah. Like not not even hello. Yeah. Not even what's the problem. Just leave. So that's that's the bit right. And so enough time has passed that like the the, you know, the new employee that is about that is a the Karen is attempting to steamroll. In many cases, that person has had a chance to possibly become the manager. So there is still a massive age gap between these people. And that person being being like, yeah, hold on a second. Yeah, that's me. What's up? What do you want? You know, or worse going in and being like, hey, yo, Rob, some lady out here wants to talk to you. And Rob comes out and goes, Hey, what's up?
Starting point is 00:14:22 And it's like, uh-oh, this is not going to work. Rob and the person I'm yelling at right now are pretty much on the exact same page. It ain't going to work out, you know, but, but up until then it must have at the very least worked out a couple times for it to be cemented in the playbook. And also the power trip must be like cocaine. It must be like a high in that moment when you're like, yes, subservience to me. So as somebody who's seen it a million times, you would think but they don't have the power trip. They that I think that's part of the problem is that they're like, they win and then they're just as mad that they won because they're like outraged that people would like Dane to like confront them about it in the first place.
Starting point is 00:15:24 And they carry the indignity of that out the store and it reinforces it like sets up how annoyed they're going to be at the beginning of the next interaction. It's awful. It's a fucking lose, lose for everyone, even Karen loses. And thus it makes sense that, you know, that level of indignation at, you know, the world not crumpling at their feet leads to the ultimate indignation, which is like everyone is now marginalizing me by calling me a Karen and saying that this is what I am and whatever. And it's like literally just like you are embodying it now, right? This this is one final rage against the dying of the light as there's been a joke that has been put on your head because you're a fucking asshole
Starting point is 00:16:22 and and it's hitting you real a little too real because you know deep down that it's true. It's it's funny because this used to be Karen just used to be soccer mom. Yeah, fucking term. Yeah, it did. But soccer mom never got him bad. And I wonder if that is because the new batch of Karen's are slightly more social media. They're on social media instead of literally not. Yeah. So there's an archive of your insanity. And there's there's there's a history of your your complete bullshit and nonsense. And it's very like, you're not going to fade into an anonymity as much as easily, I suppose, you know, so. And at the end of the day, it's the same as OK, boomer, where it's just like it's
Starting point is 00:17:06 just a look at this idiot, you know. But yeah, that's kind of the problem. That's kind of the problem. You are an archetype. It turns out there's a lot of people that are just as indignant as you and you think that your world is the only one that matters. Your children are the only ones that matter. And everyone who has like been putting up with your shit for years now is fucking sick of it. So we're calling you out. That's about it. It's always it's always my favorite thing. So I follow scrub quotes. I follow. God bless. Struggle tweets. I follow, you know, all these, all the I follow a significant amount of accounts that are we're going to blur out the person's name. We're going to put a little clown over their avatar. We're just going to put their tweet up.
Starting point is 00:17:52 Public shame. Anonymously. So it's an anonymous shame. Public shame. Everyone can have a laugh. But it we're not telling anybody to go and every now and then somebody goes or, you know, you see people do this like in person. I was like, oh, I knew this guy or a guy in my mentions, right? And one out of 10 times, somebody shows up and goes, you motherfucker, I can't believe you fucking put up my fucking tweet. And it's like you do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like you were so safe. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You were so good and and free. And that's what I see for Karen because I see as a as a white mother, I feel like this Karen thing is like you are announcing to the world that this stereotype offends you because you're an asshole.
Starting point is 00:18:49 Like the like it is it is built in like a carol and racist. I did not know what's like I didn't know about struggle tweets. This is this is fucking. Oh, struggle tweets is a nightmare. Oh, this is why it's nightmare every day. Oh, I'm in there. I'm in there immediately. This is why how do you not know about the struggle down that shit? I didn't know about this cry. I didn't know about this. Oh, okay. Today's is really bad. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't. I didn't know about this. Okay. It's about the struggle, man. Wow. Okay. Well, yeah, that's in there. We'll eat you after this podcast. You just go ahead and you scroll. I mean, I've been there's there's Reddit cringe cringe cringe forums that, you know, you can dive down, but there's some
Starting point is 00:19:43 there's some pretty good ones there. I didn't whoo. If I knew that the last time I had sex was going to be the last time I had sex forever, I would have gone a little harder. I think it's so sad. Well, anyway, yeah, there really is something about that that that type of account, but here's the other thing too, right? And if I'm not mistaken, there was I forgot where, but I was listening to a podcast where there's someone was describing that like, our brains are hardwired to like the public shaming kind of like a phenomenon, right? Because it's in the same way that people watched fucking lions get Christians get fed to the lions in the same way that like the blood sports of South America would go down and sacrifices
Starting point is 00:20:44 would happen and all these crazy things where like the group will come in and watch like someone who did something wrong be punished for it and everyone's like, good, fuck that person because we're all like, it's just a feeling of like, you know, like, ah, gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta get you for doing the bad and for, for, um, you know, like that could have been me. I could have, you could have taken from me or something like that. And shame is an extraordinarily powerful motivator. Yes. Yes, it is. And it's also an even more powerful demotivator or deterrent. Yes, exactly. The mob mentality, the mob justice is deep, deep, deep rooted in us. Reminds me of a, of a bit in ironically enough, World War Z in which they're talking about like, okay, plants fucked,
Starting point is 00:21:33 we don't have time for jail. There's no time for jail, but we're not going to start shooting people for stealing food. What do we do? Put them in the stocks for a day with a sign that says, I stole my neighbor's food. Problem solved. Now, of course, this superpowers people would have no shame. Yes, there's that, I suppose. And it also gives into mass ignorance and fear and panic can lead to the worst things in the world. See the bad angry mob of any story, you know, see the beauty in the beast, see literally anyone, anyone where there's pitchforks being held up while fire is burning in the background. Hey, man, scarlet letters like 200 years old, that shit's on point forever. Whereas devil man crybaby is like one or two, three, maybe tops, I don't know. But either way,
Starting point is 00:22:32 that's the bad. Don't don't don't don't mob that way. But anyway, I want to say that the the accounts that like, tap into that are giving you there, they're giving you the methadone version of it. You know what I mean? They're giving you the little mmm. Here's someone here's someone that deserves this, and we're going to spare their name. But just look at this. Look at this complete ridiculous mother fucker. Look at this. Look at this ridiculous thought right here. Can you believe someone had this thought and then type it out and then press the button? They read it back to themselves. It's why one of my favorite memes ever is I forget the guy's name. I'm very sorry, sir. But it's the audio of one of his videos. And it's look at this
Starting point is 00:23:21 dude. Look at the top of his head. And he just starts like wheeze screaming laughing. And you just you just put it over any photo of anyone you don't like. And it just kills you because it's like, look at this motherfucker. Look, look, just look at him. Yeah. Yeah. Look at any shame this person. Yeah. So you know, um, yeah, fuck off with that, Karen. Fuck off with that. That's ridiculous. Fuck off, Karen. Go to hell. Karen's are probably losing their minds because they got to stay inside. They don't have anybody to yell at at the Walmart. Oh, they have all that more yelling to do online, though. There is there is infinite audience available at all times. Yeah. But that audience doesn't want to hear it. No, certainly not. And they're not required to
Starting point is 00:24:18 stand there and smile. Yeah. Um, you know, and then there's there's there's the all the variants of again, the same Voltron, as I described, occasionally will get a a power up in the form of dragon Megazord. You know what I mean? Where you're like, oh, shit, I didn't realize this combines to it comes flying out of the sky and then like transforms and lands on top of the Megazord. And you're like, hold on a minute. Leopards ate my face is another one where it's just kind of like, it's just the idea of, um, uh, it came from the source of, uh, I can't believe believe leopards are eating my face. Uh, says woman who voted for the leopards ate my face party. I see. And the idea basically being just like, I can't believe that karma is coming back around
Starting point is 00:25:06 to bite me in the ass this hard. And I'm currently the person who is, uh, yelling about, you know, something that I specifically was all for. And now it's, it sucks that it's happening to me type of. I'm waiting, I'm waiting for the, um, too dark to laugh at version of people screaming about how we need to reopen malls and shit going out and inevitably getting sick. Well, one of the, well, dude, the one of the leopard face eating was a lady that was like basically yelling that this is all a, um, this is all a create a lab creation that, uh, is not real. And we need to get, we need to stop worrying about the lockdown and get out to church and we need to pray and just all this and all this stuff and calling people idiots. Just this like ridiculously
Starting point is 00:26:04 aggressive and usual. And it's like, yeah, that lady caught it and fucking died. Yeah. You know, and you're just like, what are you going to, it's, it's a lot less funny when it ends and people die. No, it's, it's, but that's the hit. You know, shot chaser. But it does this thing where it's like, I don't know. I've had this long standing thing where you hear about like local man dies after shooting gas tank and what he thought would be a prank, right? Um, and you like, you, and you just, you look at it and you don't, you kind of smirk a little and you just shrug and you're like, am I, how bad am I supposed to feel? How bad can I possibly feel? What are you going to do? Stab me says stabbing victim. Okay. See, that's great. That's the best ever. I assume
Starting point is 00:26:50 that guy lived, but, uh, fuck that alligator. Last words of man jumping into alligator. Fuck those alligators. I don't give a shit. And he gets torn apart, dives into the alligator pit. You know, I mean, there's only, there's only so much sympathy you could possibly give. There really is who have, uh, uh, what I would not say a lack of common sense. I would say that their personality is built on attacking the concept of common sense. Well, that's the problem. At a certain point I go that it, for me, it goes from a lack of common sense to like, it's a miracle you've made it this far. And if this wasn't the scenario, it was going to be the next one. So the one that always comes to mind and I feel like it is the, the best ever in terms of
Starting point is 00:27:46 some people were like, Oh my God, what a tragedy. And I'm just like, man, I don't care and you're dumb for caring too. It was those three stupid teenagers at the fucking San Diego zoo who threw, who were spent, who skipped school to spend their day throwing rocks at tigers and the tiger enclosure. Oh, and then it's super jumps out of the thing. And then the tiger, uh, discovered that down totally leap like 16 feet in the air off of a little tree. Yeah. It turns out, turns out that tiger had been short hopping for pressure the whole time, like KOF style. And all he really needed to do was tap down up and then like the little lines would come off the back and you know, and, and, and those kids got eaten and fucked up. I think they all died. I'm
Starting point is 00:28:31 not sure, but, and people went, Oh my God, what a tragedy it was. You know the camera pans upwards and the tigers in the air and you're out of the screen, but there's a little arrow saying where you are. That's what it was. And then the arrow was like the kids over here and the kid was like, wait, what? I thought, I thought we're playing, uh, uh, I thought we're playing a like street fighter too. And it turns out this was Marvel. They're super jumping apparently. You're all aware that is essentially a monster built to kill you, right? I think everyone's currently aware. Yeah. Like it's, it's like, what are you? Yeah. If, if, if the answer to the question, what are you fucking stupid is no, I'm dead. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:29:22 There's only, there's only so bad you can feel. There's a really rough one. Um, there's a really rough one where this, these kids are playing with a poisonous snake or sick and they're saying, or like, they're saying the thing that is like supposed to be the mnemonic to say this one's poisonous and this one's not, but they know exactly what it is. It's a coral snake and it's, uh, red on black. You're okay, Jack. Red on yellow. You're a dead fellow. Yeah. And, but they were doing it wrong. Something about the way they were doing it was just super not right. And they're fucking with this thing and then it bites the kid and then he immediately starts panicking and going, I'm so scared. I'm so scared. And I'm just like,
Starting point is 00:30:08 Oh my God, this is the worst. You fool. And you're like, and like, and then like in the end, it seems the kid was fine, right? But like it's these moments where you're just like, why would you even put yourself in this situation? You know, like, and obviously being younger, you're an idiot. You know what I mean? But like, dear God, like the moment you realize I created this world, I came in and I laid the bricks and the mortar and I put the fucking, you know, I put it all together and I sat in the house and then I was like, Oh, this is the house I built. Of course, this would happen here. As somebody who is related to somebody who can't think more than 10 seconds in advance, there is an entire genre of people that cannot see 10 seconds into
Starting point is 00:31:00 the future. Genre. Genre of people. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Let's just, uh-huh. It's a flavor. Found lack of foresight. Profound. The genre of people is most easily seen in the bully. The bully who attempts to fight someone loses and their response is how dare you. Right. How dare you kick my ass, you son of a bitch. I'm going to come back with my buddies and get you. And it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's actually no progression of events. It is entirely based on the internal, uh, internal feelings. Yeah. The fight, the fight videos where the bully gets fucking moped and then, you know, has to then reclaim some dignity and just kind of acts like, like, I can't believe you've done this afterwards kind of thing.
Starting point is 00:32:01 In some cases, if this shit, like in some cases, the bully's friend is like filming it and the bully's friend goes, ah, you fool. You thought you could, but you didn't, which adds a little layer onto it in the end. But like, yeah, there's more than a couple of those, you know? I want to respond to a comment that I just saw, which I'm sure a lot of the audio listeners will appreciate either. Last week, I said the tigers are just big cats. And this week, I said the tigers are dangerous murder animals built to kill you. There is no contradiction here as I'm holding a house cat right now. This is a tiny animal built to kill you, but it is too small to do so. But he would. The tiger is the same. It is just bigger.
Starting point is 00:32:52 If they had had the ability, it would. Yes. I mean, shit, my hands are covered in slashes. There you go. He is too small. I am too big. He cannot beat me. And that's what's scary, I suppose, is the fact that it's like, that's still in there, you know, and then sometimes it's love. Oh, it's totally still in there. And then sometimes it's not, but whatever, you know, and at the end of the day, life goes on. But what you got in terms of these these types of videos, too, is I remember there's a great one of like, I think it's a dude on a motor on a bicycle or a skateboard. I forget the circumstances, but like some dude in a car like is yelling at him, some old man in a car is yelling at him.
Starting point is 00:33:41 And then eventually the guy gets out of the car and starts running after the dude, but he clearly can't catch up. And the dude is filming as he's running away and the dude and the old guy just trips and fucking each shit on the sidewalk. And it's just like, why were you chasing someone violently? You idiot, like, you know, you get to see like, like that's the bully being corrected by the earth as opposed to, you know, the person getting picked on in that scenario. I'm a big, a big fan of car clips in which people try and tailgate people or cut people off and and in so doing, crash their cars. Hmm. Just like, haha, I was going to cut you off and I beat the red. Oh, I flipped my SUV.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Get fucked, asshole. No, it really is. Anyway, there's some there's really that thing of like, it's the same energy of like, when the thief gets caught, you know, or like any other version of like, I clearly did the bad thing. And then I have no escape where the person just doesn't even know what kind of energy to put out anymore, because it's like, there's no like playbook for this. There's no playbook for getting out of this situation. And they're definitely not going to back down the escalation. So it's just a whole lot of yelling and anger and a whole lot of just you got to, you know, there's a whole lot of energy that's got to come out, but it's not going to lead to winning any
Starting point is 00:35:10 harder. So, you know, here you get to rage and scream on the ground is like three people pin you down or as like, again, you got your ass beat, but you couldn't like, you're clearly not going to come back in for seconds after you realize it's not going to work. So this conversation has just awakened a thought in my mind in which I want to say I want to give a big shout out in case they happen to be listening. They're probably too old to understand a computer to many of my professors and teachers and that I went through school with because I just had a thought which is you ever see a video of kids fighting and one kid's clearly the bully and he's been a little shit, right? Like 10 year olds. I think back and I'm like, at least one teacher that I knew in my
Starting point is 00:36:05 life saw that going on and thought to themselves as I am thinking right now, yo, that kid's pretty small. I could just punch them so hard in the face. If I just fucking punch this kid in the face super hard, they would, I would ruin them. They would bully no one ever again. Oh, the winner. You mean not the winner, just like the antagonist, like the bully, like all the way up to like, 14 or 15, like, you know, just some shit kid. Oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. It's like the teachers watching they go, okay, kids, let's split it up. Let's come on. It's not good. But I bet a couple of them were like, I could just fucking throw this kid out a window and just stomp them. It'd be so easy. And they didn't because you can't. But but what if you did though?
Starting point is 00:36:56 Oh, that kid would bully no one ever. Um, I mean, bam, right in the face, break the stupid little kid's nose. He grows up with like a, like a nasally voice now. Yeah, like, it's got to be not unlike, I don't know, let's say a large football player in the NFL looking at a PE league and just like it in their hands. Oh man, if I could get out on that field, they'd see what's what William Perry look William Perry looking at a fucking at a fucking a PE league. Just being like, just put me in for one play. I'll teach these kids what's what AKA the refrigerator. What's his name? That's an incredibly specific. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:55 Uh, yeah, definitely, definitely. You know, but the other problem too. And of course, this is where like, you know, the, um, the after school special goes to show you that like, hey, man, that bully, let's go follow him home and find out why he's a bully. You know, where did that come from? And it's like, Oh, did it come from like shitty, shitty upbringing? Did it come from like the same thing being done to him? So that's how he interfaces. Maybe, you know, I feel like I have a fairly unique perspective on this as I am somebody who, uh, I have a degree in psychology, you could think it or not. I'm a well educated person. And I was also horribly relentlessly bullied. And I can look back in time and I look at
Starting point is 00:38:45 Corey and Matthew and Ryan and I go, Oh yeah, those kids had it fucked up at home. You could tell. Like, you know, you look back at the signs in the past and you're like, Oh yeah, Matthew's dad was like a fucking asshole and probably didn't love him at all. And I'm pretty sure Corey's dad hit him or whatever. Yep. And, uh, and I don't care. Right. I don't care. I don't think anything could ever make me care. Right. Ever. No one cares. No one at the fuck those kids at the end of the day, at the end of the day, you make your decisions. At the end of the day, you, you choose what you do and you live by them one way or the other. Pretty much, you know, but, uh, but there definitely, there definitely is like in many cases that, that sort of like, okay, well, this is how the
Starting point is 00:39:47 dominoes fell into this place. And, and, and guess what? In every horrible person's case, you can see how those dominoes fell into place. But oh, usually at some point you, you know, you, you pick a left, you had a fork in the road. So I gotta say the, the after school special that you're talking about of like, you know, and it was very common. Stranger things even does that. Yeah. It's like, you know, the bully is actually, you know, his dad beats him or his, you know, his mom doesn't love him or whatever the fuck. Um, those don't actually have as much basis in reality as you would expect. Uh, some studies came out a little while ago that shows that bullies, contrary to the folk wisdom, usually have tons of confidence and a positive
Starting point is 00:40:33 self image. And that allows them to feel that they're better than people and just pick on kids. Like a bunch of, uh, like the majority of bullies are just assholes in training. For sure. I, I never would have assumed that, uh, they would have, they would be missing those things. I, if anything, I would assume that like, they realize that like this is how you get what you want is by having them. And then then they grow up to assholes who trade, uh, you know, physical violence for economic intimidation or, you know, workplace gossip or, you know, whatever the fuck it happens to be. What I'm saying is that if a, if a teacher catches a bully, they should have the right in
Starting point is 00:41:26 their career. Every teacher gets one, they get one, just one for free. And then we'll see how society shakes out a couple of years. Okay. But, but we'll just, we'll just see how it goes. But how much damage is it allowed to do though? What kind of numbers are we talking? You get one, you get one. But to what degree? That's the end of the policy. That there's the one what you get one. Cause one can be like, you know, your best shot on a Monday and one can be I'm sitting in my vehicle. Okay. Okay. What is one? You get one non item based bodily action. Okay. Whatever that happens to be. It can be a push, a punch, a kick, a throw, a nudge, a trip. Now here we go. Let's hit that.
Starting point is 00:42:25 Let's hit that, that, that fine print. Uh, a submission hold has no predetermined time. It does. A submission hold can be held. It has a predetermined end. It does. If you want there to be an end, the submission hold is so that you will submit. But if the person who's performing the hold does not care about your, I can't hear it. I can't hear it. I get what? What? The person really loud about the room. It's really loud. You understand? Yeah. It's so loud. It's what, what I, oh, oops. Oops. You get, you get, you get one and then the teacher presses all four buttons and goes into instant
Starting point is 00:43:17 kill mode. Now what? Now are you sure you want to give them one? Uh-oh. Just have somebody walk up to the kid and tell them to block his tension gauge changed. Uh, boy. Yeah. How was your week? Yeah, I was all right. Uh, pretty, in terms of podcast shit, fairly dull. I played a lot of Persona 5 Royal, which is good. I played a lot of FF7 Remake, which is good. I, uh, watched some Will and Grace with Paige. Paige maintains being an incredible cook. I thought about going back in time as my current self and just punching out a bunch of children. Speak well. Someone just said, someone just said like, oh, yeah, like, yeah, what about them glory
Starting point is 00:44:08 kills? And it's just like the child is flashing orange and is all staggered. The bully is like, oh, it's like, uh-oh. If the teacher clicks the button, what happens right now? The teacher uses their right leg to kick the kids feet out from under them. And as they fall, they use their left arm to punch them down into the dirt. It's not going to be good. It's the best, it's the best glory killer from Doom 2016. Until it's done. Until it's done. Until it's done. Until it's done. Until it's done. It's over. Just, just, uh, keep this system up until society improves. You know what? You know what? You know how there's always a teacher shortage?
Starting point is 00:44:57 You know, people don't pay teachers enough. Bet you there won't be no teacher shortage if we institute this new rule. Yeah, people going through their career 20 years, going, oh, I'm just, I'm, you know, I'm saving it. You know, Billy Jimmy back a couple years ago, oh, he was a real fuck. Oh, he could have been, oh, yeah, oh, no, but this one, oh, this little piece of shit. I'm just waiting. I'm just waiting. And you know what? Having the kids live in fear because, hey, you're going to, you're going to go to Mr. Johnson's class. You know Mr. Johnson hasn't cashed his in yet, right? Class, we have a substitute teacher today. You better behave. Everyone say hi to Mr. Gracie. Hello, Mr. Gracie. Oh God. Hey, it's my, it's my first day of substitute teaching.
Starting point is 00:45:44 Um, I hold on. I need you all to be witnesses. I'm going to sign the, the wrongful death disclaimer. Okay, here we go. Done. All right. Let's learn about some math fuckers. Only one until it's done until it's done. Oh man. Kids are awful. A lot of kids are great, but the bad kids are worse than even the most like unbelievable adult. Like you look at, you look at bad children and you go, oh, you would kill everyone in here if you could get a candy for it. You have no morals. That you, you are, you are an amoral psycho little gremlin fucker. Yeah. The fake rules of
Starting point is 00:46:36 the world have, have not been installed yet. Yes. Basically the fake rules of the world are the only things that are supposed to keep those people from doing that. And, uh, they're still in the process right now. So there's all the process of having that drilled it. So in the meantime, you're just getting it raw, unfiltered, you know. So yeah, played persona, played FF seven. Hey, go guess what? Those games are great. Watched along Grace's page. New seasons are good. Thank God that show left for like a million years and came back and it's just as good. It's like it never, it's like a, it's like a Naruto-esque time skip. It's really bizarre. I can't think of any sitcoms that did that.
Starting point is 00:47:19 We'll talk about more FF seven at the end. We'll give a little spoiler cast part two. I don't even really have all that much to say other than it's good and that the, the track do recompense is incredible. I had that is it's the song that plays in the passage when you fight the goons. Beck's Badasses. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. That one, but it's been remixed and it would like a dance. Oh my God. It's Oh, it's fucking incredible. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's, there's any, I have a couple of thoughts we could throw at the end a little
Starting point is 00:47:55 bit. Yeah. Anything else? No, really didn't have a whole lot going on. I'm going to be beaten. FF seven this week for sure. So, and I assume you will too. Cause we're both the exact same place. Yeah. Give or take about a minute. I was getting really worried because after a stream, not the last one, but the one before I scrolled down and it's like a, you know, woolly wolves is playing FF seven and we'll earn these achievements and they were hitting achievements and I'm like, shit. Okay. Fuck. You're doing cleanup. It's like, I then I, yeah, I, the game is clean. Yeah. The game's clean. So the game is clean right now. Okay. Um, well, uh, yeah. So we'll, we'll, I have a couple of thoughts. So we'll talk about
Starting point is 00:48:45 that at the end a little bit. It'll be a bit shorter, but it'll be a midway through the game spoiler cast. There's one thing actually come to think that, yeah, there's a very, there's a very clear one that I think is worth discussing and then there's a couple of small ones. But, um, right now this is, um, end of chapter 14 beginning of chapter 15 cast. So that will be at the end of the episode today. Um, all right. To jump back to bullies for a second, because everybody loves that topic. Something that came to mind is, um, a great story, uh, by, um, one, uh, Troy Kwan, who is, uh, one half of the members member, uh, what up danger? The, uh, the song from spider man. Um, no, from the, from spider verse. It's the song that plays
Starting point is 00:49:32 when, uh, Miles is rising. No. Okay. Well, when Miles has his big moment, there's a really cool song that plays and, uh, black caviar is the group behind it. And, uh, one half of that group, is this dude who told a story about, uh, in his childhood, he basically, um, he used to get, uh, picked on and beat up like constantly, like to, to like bloody nose levels by, by this billion whatnot. And like his point of like, uh, fuck this. I can't take it anymore was just exploding and like launching himself onto the kid and, uh, doing a ground and pound, right? But doing it with such panic and fear that he was snotty and crying as he was punching. And, and it went, and he went so hard that while he was on top of the guy crying, he shit his pants.
Starting point is 00:50:34 Yeah, I would never, I would never want to pick on that kid. He shit his pants while grounded, pounding the, the bully and, and, and, and crying and snotting up with extreme, just absolute, like everything's coming out. Everything's coming out of all sides. Don't pick on that kid. You don't know what's going to happen. That was the end of that. You can't, it's too, you can't, you can't return to that fight. That is that, that you completely de-aggro that situation, right? The limit break that is, I'm going to attack you, swing and cry and scream and shit my pants on top of you as I punch you in anger and rage. And you just, you don't want to go down that road anymore.
Starting point is 00:51:18 And that was the end of his, his, uh, his bullying. You know, I'm, I'm coming to think of it back in the day, back in grade nine is when it started to taper off, which fuck, that was a while. But the reason why it started to taper off is somebody like trashed all my shit in a classroom, like they stole my books from underneath my desk and like destroyed all of them. And I was, I just like really calmly picked all of them up and just was like, yeah, no, it's no, no, no, you know, that kind of attitude. Um, and then people became like afraid that I was going to come to school and stab someone because I wasn't like crying or getting angry. Right. And, uh, that worked out. Just, just kept, I'm like, oh, if anything bad happens,
Starting point is 00:52:06 just act like detached and apart and people will be afraid that, uh, you know, you'll stab them and then they'll stop bugging you and it totally worked. That's, yeah, I did not stab anyone. That's not the question. It's more so it's like, were they incorrect to assume this possibility? You know, yeah, it's, it's, it's definitely a, an instant reaction in, in like, oh, that's not what I expected to happen. What the fuck does that mean? You know, that's, that's a good, that's a good trick. That's a good trick. That'll, that'll, that'll end. Um, anyway, so, uh, that being said, uh, Ralph, Ralph level three, a super desperation moves aside with shit with, with shit involved.
Starting point is 00:53:05 Yes. Um, for me again, yeah, mostly FF seven. So, you know, uh, that, that talk comes at the end, but, uh, all right. Well, if, if you want to see me finish FF seven and play some P five R and maybe XCOM Chimera squad this week, check out twitch.tv slash Pat stairs it. I hear they're leaning into the snack. Yeah. Did you see the interaction friend of the podcast, Plague of Grypes Eli had with like the designer of the characters in XCOM too? I did not. I'm just seeing memes that are saying, Hey, it looks like, uh, you don't have to sell out humanity for that jet pack because humanity joined, uh, the other side and they're doing it for snack strip bars. The, the guy who designed the snack in XCOM too, went up on the Twitter and was like,
Starting point is 00:53:52 you know, when I designed the snack, I had no idea that there were people who are out there into snack women. What a world. And our, our pal Eli just goes, uh-huh. Which leads to, yeah, no one believes this dude. And he had a, he had a follow up tweet. It's like, listen, I'm not saying anything. I'm just saying I didn't know. And everyone's like, no, you did. When I designed Minerva mink. Yeah. I, you know, I was just like, what's a good color? What's a good color offset for a white mink blonde, right? Okay. Minks are smooth. Right. I got it. All right. I had no idea. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people don't know what Minerva mink is. It's a tiny tunes character that really like, whereas, uh, what do you call it? Whereas fucking, uh, Robin Hood lit the flame.
Starting point is 00:54:50 This was like some gasoline on the fire. Uh, and, and, and lest we forget Animaniacs. Oh, whatever. It's the same shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then the last we forget, uh, Osamu Tezuka and his secret drawer of sexy mice that he drew for himself. He drew himself some sexy furry mice, but only for him though. No one else must see them. You see that fucking, you see that fucking stupid meme of, uh, I want to fuck a rabbit through time. No. And it, and it goes, um, it goes Jessica rabbit. Then it goes Lola bunny. Then it goes that chick from Zootopia. And it's just like, what the fuck happened? It's like, you know what happened. You know what happened. Yeah. So. Yep. Um, so what I was going to say is, uh, so all that went down this week and, uh,
Starting point is 00:55:52 besides the, besides, uh, FF7 remake, uh, Guilty Gear Strive, CBT. Big CBT. I, I got into that CBT, uh, and then I looked online and saw people, uh, screaming that the lobby was so terrible they had been trying for hours to get a match and then decided not to even bother. So it turns out there's a trick to getting a match. That's, yeah. That's stupid, what you just said. You're not stupid for saying it, but it's stupid that you did. Fuck. Um, it sucks, man, that like the fucking, it sucks that like we're getting, we're currently, well here's that we're in a, in a world where like the lobby system we have in this game is completely failing and the ones that we had before this was fine. It worked fine. Just sitting at the
Starting point is 00:56:50 cabinets in excerpt. I've used a lot of, uh, lobbies in Arc System work games and they're all too much, but most of them work pretty well. So you could, there's menu searching, right? At the end of the day, you can still, um, use the menus to, uh, find a match and then just hit join or search or whatever. And it's just a list of names, but like for, uh, for everything else, if you want to, there is the lobby system where you walk up to a cabinet, sit at it and then someone else approaches and then it's very clear that you're about to engage in a game. Uh, you're, you just have to wait to ready up and the cabinet system was then brought into, uh, Grand Blue. So it works there as well. And, uh, in Dragon Ball Fighters, they did this, uh, ring thing where a person has to
Starting point is 00:57:39 walk to a random area of, um, the lobby and create a ring and then you walk into it and then that kind of becomes a lobby, but it just didn't, it didn't, it's not as clear and as concise as like sitting at a cabinet, you know, and even like the visual information of showing like, Hey, this is who I'm going to be matched up with is, um, lost when you take it to this ring system, right? A little bit. Yeah. Now you take it to, uh, what Strive has and what Strive has is, uh, two sidescrolling piece of shit, maniac mansion style, um, little, uh, you know, sprites that it's like you can dress them up and the idea of visually, sure that it's cute. You can do that style. There's nothing, you know, there's nothing wrong with that, but taking away, uh, the cabinets
Starting point is 00:58:26 was a bad idea because now you have to hold, you have to pull your sword out to show that you're readied up to fight and then you have to walk to someone else who has their sword out and then you have to kind of stand at a distance from each other and like let it automatically start trying to match make you. But while you do that, other people walking by might start matchmaking as well. And then you're not sure who you're matching with and in a whole bunch of cases you end up searching for and then failing to connect to many people that are all standing in a crowd because you can't tell who you're trying to face. It is like you took a vision. What's, what's wrong with setting up a list of lobbies and then clicking on the lobby
Starting point is 00:59:09 and then going in the lobby and then readying up in the lobby? Absolutely nothing. It worked in excerpt. What is wrong with that? I'm talking about like street fighter fucking four or any of that type of lobby where it's literally just a list of, hey, how many people are in this fucking room? Six? Okay, I'll join all these seven. I'll wait for my turn. Like it's so stupid. I'm not, I'm not gonna, I'm not hating on the visual lobby idea. I think that can work fine because we've seen it work, right? Like the idea of just having a little cute avatar walk around, you know, blaze blue and cross tag they have it. Like it's like, it's the same thing where you just like, yeah, you, you know, you have a little virtual world to do little cute interactions and dress
Starting point is 00:59:55 up your guy and stuff like that. That's fine. That's fine. I have no problem with that. I like that. I think that that should stick. That should stay. You know, it's just when it comes down to the core mechanic of the matchmaking, you can't let this design make it harder to get into a match. It has to be as easy as it always was, if not easier, while also introducing this fun little like extra. Hey, I'm going to hold up my keyboard to the microphone. And I want to use an example here. Here's how easy it should be to get into a fighting game match. That was me slapping the spacebar. Quick, quick fight. That's it. Yeah, quick match. That's it. Should be, should be. So all this to say that like that didn't work. And all this is, you know,
Starting point is 01:00:44 I think going hand in hand with the, the, the stuff we heard about rollback will exist in the final version, but this was the delay based code that they initially had for this demo. So, you know, I think, I think we're going to probably see at least in terms of game, you know, the matches were like, we're in for better, a better online experience, but in general, this design idea needs to change. They need to, they like, it's not working out. That was a mess. It turns out the trick to getting a match is to sheath your sword, walk up to someone who's already have the, has their sword out and then directly challenge them. This is so stupid. So you have to walk up to a person, press a button to pull up their profile menu and then issue a challenge
Starting point is 01:01:30 that way. And if you do it, if you issue a challenge that way, you have a much more consistent rate of, of getting a match in there. They, they, I don't know what's going on with excerpt because the game looks incredible, but everything about its interface and like menu system is, do you mean strive trash fire? You mean strive? I do mean strive. I do mean strive. So the, the UI, I don't know what's going on. So the UI and the menus have changed. Not enough. They've changed. Total overall needs a total read. It really, it's like, we are so close. Like the game is gorgeous in action. It is like, you know, it stopped you in your tracks beautiful, but it's just right now, like packaged in this
Starting point is 01:02:15 idea that is failing community to communicate points. And I mean, like, it's got a bad life bar for fuck's sake. It's got a bad life bar. It's got a bad everything. Everything about the UI is just not succeeding, you know, and the change up like, you know, when we were kind of told that it was like, Hey, this is all a temp. It's all a bit of a work in progress. The hope was that we would see if I saw here's if I saw a change that was drastically different, but also bad, I would be like, well, they're, they're willing to go from A to fucking Q. You know what I mean? So okay, they're willing to shoot in a bunch of different directions and see how this lands, but they didn't change it that much from what it was the first time we took a look at it,
Starting point is 01:03:04 which means that they're kind of, it feels like they're kind of sticking with it for now. And I, and I really, really don't think I don't, I, I don't get it. This is the same company that put out persona for arena ultimax that has the coolest, sickest hide most consistent fighting game interface that's ever existed. Did they fucking forget? Not, you know, and also like the weirdness of like, you know, I mean, not having a rematch button when the system itself was like not working that great. It's like, fuck, that could have alleviated a lot of pain. But like, Oh, did they not have a rematch button? No, no, there's no rematch button. So what is going on? So, you know, like, like this online feature, I don't know how quickly it was put together.
Starting point is 01:03:50 I don't know how fast this, this online system was built. But yeah, it's just a, it's a bad system. The coolest thing it has going for it is that the tower of skill that you make your way through has a bunch of album has a bunch of album names as the song and album names as the different floors, you know, but this beyond making your way through this giant Tartarus of skill, it's like, yeah, man, that's not that's failing. And then the game itself has this menu system that's still too bright, too clean, not enough grit, not enough gear, not enough deals to be filthy, not enough rock and roll, not enough metal, not enough anything that should be, you know, a part of what this, this, this game is about and what part of why we love it. So like, I,
Starting point is 01:04:39 I really hope that we see really drastic changes after this, but it feels like the changes we've seen based on the feedback have been minor for this build, you know, and people want like a full 180 in some cases. That being said, you know, you get to the gameplay and I'm still having a ton of fun with it, still really enjoying what's going down. Damage is still an issue that needs to be addressed. There's some ridiculous, ridiculous tweets that you can go watch of people getting like almost touch a death or touch, like that just needs to like that. That's, that's, that's ridiculous. The Potemkin breakdown video is hilarious. Watching Potemkin do a potbuster and then reset it to a chip and then resetting him into a, into a
Starting point is 01:05:38 heavenly and you're like, Oh yeah. Well, you made too bad guesses. That's the end of you. Everyone, you're playing Makoto third strike every match. Um, but there's, there's some really, really cool shit happening with like Faust now is just this zombie that goes cool and has like the, the, the creepiness on his bag face is like, the bag itself is giving off an ominous energy because it has like some weird markings beneath the eye. He's got like an evil red eye coming in. Yeah. And he doesn't speak. He just creaks and cracks and pulls shit out of his face and vores you. I wonder what happened to Faust. Dr. Baldhead. He's a bad guy. Dr. Baldhead is fucking dead, man. He's gone. Yeah. Dr.
Starting point is 01:06:27 Baldhead's dead and then Dr. Baldhead pretending to be Faust is also gone and and now Faust is dead and now who the fuck like, what is this? He's got a really fun move in the form of the afro. Now you, now when he gives you an afro, it makes a giant one that you can actually use to hurt, to hit the character easier. So you can do afro specific combos on characters or light the afro on fire. The afro state extends your hitbox to be chunky and in fighting games, when you have a bigger character or like a bigger hitbox, it means that there's certain combos and certain things that will be much easier to do to you than it would be to like a small character. Fucking goofball, man. It's great. Really fun stuff with that. Just, just everything
Starting point is 01:07:20 outside of that, you know, everything outside of what's happening in the game and the damage that's happening in the game as well. You know, we just, we just need to put it back in the oven, guys. Please, please, please, please. It's so close to being like the fucking sickest shit ever. Well, luckily, there has never been a better time to delay everything than right now. So yeah, but you know, there are cats and squirrels going fucking crazy outside my fucking window. Huh. They, they also did fixed, they fixed the, the issue with the Drift RC, where you couldn't do it without the button dash before. Now you can tap forward, forward, Roman cancel, and then you will move in the direction of forward or whatever direction you tap before
Starting point is 01:08:14 you hit the button, you can do it on the stick now. So that's like, okay, it's now it's in there, you don't have to map this extra button. So that's great. Basically, the problem with the early version of the game I was describing has, there was a new system in place where if you look at any guilt of your strive footage, you'll see some moments where the screen goes dark and it looks like the character is kind of like, they're canceling or whatever move. And there's, you see that like an after image, like a ghost image behind them and they're sliding in a direction, right? So you'll see like, soul will start to do like a, an uppercut and then he'll like slide forward with like a ghost after image and then close the distance and keep doing a
Starting point is 01:08:57 different combo. It's a cool new system that looks really, really fancy. And like in order to do it in the past, you had to map an extra button onto your controls because it required you to input that extra button plus your normal like cancel input. And so now they fixed that so that you don't have to use that extra button. That's, that's basically the, the layman's explanation of what's happening there. And yeah. And so that, that's, that's good that that got fixed. But you know, there's still a couple of other things we need to, we need to address with this game. Music is fucking rad. We got a new song. Of course it is. Of course we got a new song. We got the most positive thing that I've seen out of the beta is people ripping the soundtrack going, oh my
Starting point is 01:09:44 god. Fausts has a stage that's awesome. It's a bunch of flying Buddha ships. Just statues are like these, whatever the fuck you want to call it. It's, it's like take a kuma stage in, in, you know, in four or like any of those like temple stages in a fighting game. But imagine the giant Buddha statues are like flying in the sky. It's, it's crazy. It's awesome. It's beautiful. You know, and, and I'm still, I'm still always in on mankind knew that they cannot change society. You know, like that thing is just hitting so hard every time. One of the best is Sol versus Faust in that is like, you got the whole, so they blame the beasts bit. And then Faust drags himself up, creaks his hand and just points at Sol and Sol just goes,
Starting point is 01:10:40 that's heavy. Round one, you know, like having a hell duel. Yeah, let's rock. It's just like fucking sick. I'm like, yeah, that, that, that all works out. Like everything on that level of the game is, is, is firing. And I just love those characters. Amazingly. They're great. They really are. They really are. I, I, I really, really hope they, they, they, you know, they swerve on this because there's so much cool shit happening and it would be such a shame for these easy, easy, the hard part is making the game look that good. The easy part is making a life bar that doesn't suck. It would be such a shame to fucking trip over that or the online. Here's hoping they keep striving forward. Strive for CBT. There we go. Get the cage out.
Starting point is 01:11:35 You know about the cage. I don't wait. No, I do. Yep. There you go. There you go. No, I'm good. You thought you were good. Nope. Don't knock it till you tried it. Hey, Willie, did you play any, uh, like online games where you'd have a team with you lightly? Not lately. No. Um, I've been, I haven't played any online games really, uh, in a while. The reason I ask is because I was talking with some friends of mine who play 14 and they also play some League of Legends and stuff like that. And they have, uh, described a new term going around invented by a friend of mine, uh, which is, uh, the quarantine boomer. Hmm. Um, if you run Duty Finder in 14, people are shit right now. Oh, situations bad.
Starting point is 01:12:47 People are trash right now. Okay. Okay. Apparently it's the best time to ever get into League of Legends because everyone is terrible because everyone who doesn't actually play these games regularly is fucking bored and playing them. Yep. Um, like it is so, so much worse than usual. I am finding a lot of, like in that I can relate to that because I am finding a lot of steamroll matches in Tepin right now. Yeah, I bet. I fucking bet. Tepin matches are complete jokes until they're not. Um, because I'm, because, uh, my current ranking is a 928. So I'm for the most part being matched with, you know, uh, um, like pretty fucking serious contenders, but every once in a while when it's like, Hey, there's no one else around. You're
Starting point is 01:13:46 going to fight someone in like B one or something. And it's just like, Oh boy, you, you don't know what's going on in this game yet. You know, you're, you're, it's, yeah. It is this, like it's, it's one of two things. This is mass influx of new people like never before. And in games like an MMO where, I mean, you have to be a certain level, it's people who got to cap, dropped it, dropped it for like a year. At this, right? Yeah. At the same time. And then it's like, well, what, I'll re-sup. I'm gonna go, whatever. At the same time, um, it's also bringing out like the worst in like, uh, games that are not rollback. For example, Grandblue has become a fucking wifi fest for a lot of people and, uh, it fucking sucks. Reggie,
Starting point is 01:14:38 who got a copy is like, dude, I tried playing. I couldn't get any decent matches going. And like, at some point I tried connecting to my friend who was also in Montreal and we couldn't get a decent match going. Like it's, it's just the worst, you know, like in it, like it's, it's a bad system and it has now bad people connecting to a bad system. Have you seen the tweet that I retweeted a little while ago that was, Wi-Fi players are absolutely the people in that zombie movie who would hide the fact that they have a zombie bite and it is this increasing thing of people running these fucking, it's usually online tournaments where online tournaments when you have a problem running your set, you're allowed to request a, um, integrity check. You're allowed to request
Starting point is 01:15:31 an integrity check so that, um, the person, uh, you fought against, you can prove that they're not on a fucking Wi-Fi connection or some shit, right? And then it's like time after time, it's both dudes going, yo, this guy, this guy, it's got, I mean, I have a wired connection, right? I'm single problem. It's, it's, it's, it's the, it's the, uh, you know, we talked about the, the fucking ref, uh, the ref camera button in the NFL where it's like, you can call it, spend a time out, make the ref go review the footage, you give that power to the player. So now someone is like, if I can use this to not, to not, if I can lie and not get the fuck, uh, not lose, then I'll do it. So both players are like, I'm requesting a picture from that guy set
Starting point is 01:16:20 up to make sure that, uh, you know, he's on a Wi-Fi cause the connection was terrible and, and it, it always breaks down to the turning point. And the turning point is the TO whoever it is to say, well, there's only one way to solve this. You take your phone and take a fucking photo of your ethernet adapter or whatever with like your username next to it. So you can't just go get some generic photo and send it to me right now. Always, always, always breaks down. It's like, okay, well I lied. I, yeah, I'm using Wi-Fi, but I haven't had a single problem. I haven't had a problem until now. It's, it's that guy's fault. And then the other guy is like, yeah, okay. So I kind of,
Starting point is 01:17:00 well, you know, I kind of made up that shit earlier about my own connection, but his thing was, it was shitty. And you're like, they both lied to say that they had a wired connection when they were both on Wi-Fi and they both requested an integrity check of each other. And now they're both disqualified. If you're going to, so, uh, hey, a little piece of advice for somebody who's never TO'd anything in their life. If you're going to run an online tournament, which there's plenty of time to do that now, part of the signup process is take a fucking photo of your ethernet connection. Maintain the integrity of the fucking.
Starting point is 01:17:38 Yeah. But also don't just say username in the photo with, uh, with a picture. Also, tell them to go get an orange or tell them to go get, you know what I mean? Or something. You need a unique, like a toilet brush. You need a unique, you know, you need a unique qualify, a unique, uh, aspect so that it's not a, a, yeah, like a faked or whatever preset photo. Peace sign in the thing, you know, whatever. Literally, like, how about this? Like, and if you like, or just show your controller with you holding down the square button, you know, like whatever the fuck or your pat, your stick, some weird shit, but just something to make it clearly you. And then you go, Oh yeah, there you go. There it is. You're wired in, you know,
Starting point is 01:18:19 it's extra bad, uh, was smashed, but that's because like the ethernet adapter is separate. It's a separate purchase, which sucks. But I, I guess I understand with the switch because it's got the, I mean, I don't even know where the ethernet cable will go. Once again, I'm going to take the opportunity to tell people about a power line adapter, which is a, uh, uh, something you can buy, uh, which, uh, you know what mine, it's whatever to have one over there, but it's literally a, uh, you plug your, uh, modems, you have your modem in the wall and you go from your modem to your router or both, if it's the same device, whatever, uh, ethernet into the power line adapter, power down adapter plugs into your outlet of your wall and then, uh, somewhere else in your house,
Starting point is 01:19:04 uh, it, it has a receiver. I have no idea how that works. That seems nonsensical to me. It uses, it uses the circuit. It just, it uses, I know, but I don't know how, I don't know how power works. Well, the same, the same things that are being sent through the wire, it's just temporarily turning them into your house's electricity circuit and then it's switching it back to another net cable that goes into your console and, and, uh, gives you better than wifi. Hey, I got a, I got a, um, what looks like a very reasonable compromise from the chat, uh, which is unfortunate because it's not. Uh, somebody asks, what about just requesting a speed test? Speed tests often don't account for packet loss or line jitter, which is the problem with wifi. The problem with wifi isn't the speed,
Starting point is 01:19:59 it's the reliability and a speed test is often not going to show you that. Um, and to ask, uh, to clarify for those who missed the first time we talked about power line adapters, uh, a couple podcasts ago, uh, does it work well? It works better than wifi significantly. Does it work better than a direct plug? No. A direct ethernet plug into your console is the best connection you can get. Um, and it's not going to be better than that, but it will be leaps and bounds better than just going on your wifi. So the bummer with wifi, right, is because like an optimal conditions, yeah, it should be totally reliable. However, optimal conditions assumes that it's an area with no walls or ceilings and it's the only wifi signal within
Starting point is 01:20:43 a hundred feet, right? I have, I think 10 wifi signals inside me right now from my neighbors, from people leaving across the street, right? Like, and if you live in an apartment building, you remember my old place? I could get 40 wifis in my apartment. If you walked more than a couple feet away from that fucking router, gone. Jenny's wifi is inside of you right now. Hey Jenny, what up? It's done 2.4 gig gigahertz. I want that five. You need that five. Yeah. Well, in any case, um, yeah, so that's, that's, that's, that's your solution right there. And, and the, the most important part, of course, is that yes, it is, um, more consistent. So you're not going to get packet drops in the way that you do when you're fucking wifi is in and out and in
Starting point is 01:21:40 and out and in and out. You know, it's a consistency of, of packet delivery. So look into that shit. You should be able to grab one easily. Um, but anyway, yeah, so that's happening right now. There's a lot of low quality, low quality players online in games. Um, and I suppose I'll, I'll, I'll, uh, find out shortly because the end of next week, well, in a couple days, they're putting out the Ninjala, uh, uh, online, uh, demo. So I'm going to, going to take a peek at that. I'll talk about that in a second though. It's great for versus games. It's terrible for co-op ones. Yeah. No, I'm really, really dodging all of those. I'm dodging every, every co-op experience right now, uh, that, uh, I would have had a buddy of mine who was running like a duty roulette,
Starting point is 01:22:41 which is like a, you know, daily in 14, like had to abandon the duty after like 45 minutes twice, tried to run it twice during the day because people couldn't beat like the regular story required version of a boss that came out like a year ago. And it's like that boss wasn't hard the day it came out. How are you feeling at it now? Oh, it's cause people who were playing a year ago on the expansion launched, they're the people who like to play the game. That's why they're playing it on expansion launch. Well, if you want a silver lining it, uh, play com- to those who want to know is, uh, titanium. If you want the silver lining here, play competitive games right now and watch your fucking stonks go up. You want to rank up huge stonks. You want to
Starting point is 01:23:30 rank up play competitive games right now, right now. Also league is probably going to, I should, I should dive back into league just a little bit because like league is both of these things. You know, it's like, Oh my God, my team is so bad, but the other team is also so bad. You know what's rad to is, uh, the nature of, like the nature, excuse me, of, of, uh, life right now is such that killer instinct skull girls. Oh yeah. Dems fighting herds. These games are absolutely getting tons of play right now because they fucking work. That's great. It's like when push comes to shove, if you didn't want to listen, if you didn't want to do the work, then fine, don't do it. People that are trying to play the games that fucking refuse to run with rollback are now hitting that
Starting point is 01:24:33 wall and going, fuck this, this sucks. I can't, I can't deal with this shit. I can't. And they're jumping online and going, I plead, what, what is everyone playing right now? Cause these games don't fucking work. And people are like, you'll jump on that K I bro. And everyone's like, Oh word and now K I has a resurgence because it works. It fucking works. It just works. You know, skull girls. It's like, yeah, you can play online now. No problems. And it's just the situation has, has been, you know, like it just, it thins the herd out where you're like, at the end of the day, what do you need here? You need a game that'll fucking work, man. And when it's not a luxury, when it's not a luxury, but a necessity, when you can't go to locals anymore,
Starting point is 01:25:16 you're, you got to face facts. It's like, this is, this is also what we need. Very, it's very depressing because it shows just how many people buy fighting games, play them a little bit online and immediately go, this is too terrible. I'm not going to play it online. And essentially never play it again. Because the shit's so bad. Right? Like, let's say, I don't know, pull the numbers out of my ass. So a million people bought DBFZ, right? How many people actually play that fucking game online? Like 50 K? Probably. How many tried to play it online? Was it half of all players more? And I mean, that's generous too. Right. But like, you know, like, it's like, how many, how many people just had three or four matches and they were trash? Yeah. Or they took
Starting point is 01:26:02 like 10 minutes to get a single match. And then it was lagging all over. And we're just like, yeah, I'm not playing this, I'm going to go, I'm going to play different someone else. It's, it, it just, it's a fun killer. It's a, an excitement killer. You just, you know, you're like, fuck this, I don't want to deal with this struggle. When it, when you get one match per 10 minutes, you know, it's like that you really want to sit there and fucking, you know, fight. And then, and, and, and it just like, yeah, it's a situation like now that just, it forces that these problems to the forefront and it, and every developer that refused to go with rollback for the last 10 years is now confronted with the fact that they
Starting point is 01:26:46 didn't do so, you know, and the few games that do are like able to fucking flourish because people are like, these are the few that work, you know, it's, um, yeah, it, it is a blessing and an immense point of frustration because like the idea of, it's just the idea, like, like me and Reggie were just having, we just had like a fucking, uh, we just had this exhausting like the first thing the game needs to do is just work, man. And when you, when you treat this as the afterthought, you know, it, um, yeah, people will, man, this is a beautiful car, drives great, but it occasionally stalls if you go over a 55 kilometers an hour. If someone goes, I'm returning this, I'm getting my money back. I'm like, yeah, I can't remotely, I can't even start, begin to blame
Starting point is 01:27:45 you. I can't even begin to blame you if you're like, fuck this experience, you know, especially if you're doing your part and your setup is good and you have a wired connection, you know, and, and you still are just getting garbage. Like I have nothing to say, except yeah, it sucks that they're not thinking about this in the way that they do because the game itself is still good, but they have these fucking problems. I'm at a really weird spot in which I have the fastest internet you can like get as a consumer in my country, which is gigabit fiber, which is good. It's really good. Right. I live in a central metropolitan hub, which is the largest city in my province is closely, uh, close geographically to Toronto and New York, both other hubs. Uh, so
Starting point is 01:28:28 if I hop on and your fucking shit runs like shit, how the fuck is anyone else going to play it? You know, anybody with Wi-Fi or anybody out in the country or anybody out in fucking boys, Idaho or whatever the fuck, you know, no, no people live, but people tell you they live there. Boise? Boise? Is it Boise? I don't fucking know. That's not real. That's another place. But it's not real. There's a place called Boise. You know, like how the, how the, how the fuck is Big Jim down in Louisiana on the houseboat? How the fuck is he going to fucking play fighting games? Get into fighting games if they will allow you to. Pretty much.
Starting point is 01:29:24 I'll mess with Big Jim if I want. Fuck you people. Oh, dude, fighting games suck ass. No, dude, fighting games are terrible. No. I love fighting games. They're online is trash. They're, I feel bad all the time that I think about fighting games online is trash. I'm not going to give you, I'm not going to, I'm not, because you, I'm not going to give you the thing you, you look for every time, which is the reason to be like, fuck these, because you haven't touched them. I'm not going to give you that. No, no, no. No, that's because I'm trash and I'm not. I know, because you keep, because you keep looking for the justifier of like, I have, I'm out. I'm out,
Starting point is 01:30:12 and I need a reason, I need a reason to feel good about being out. I'm not going to give you that satisfaction. Yeah, I know. But like we don't, like what I'm saying is like, we don't talk about this about RPGs. Like how, how come every RPG comes out doesn't have the ability to save your game? Of course. It's ridiculous. It's ridiculous. It's fucking. Yeah, you know. And hey, why is this one? Now here's, now here's, I would love to find out what, if any other hyper specific genres and their followings are just like running into these quality of life issues that are not, that are not quality of life, but like actually fucking red line mandatory. What is the problem? I would love to hear from like the train simulator.
Starting point is 01:30:54 What's happening with rhythm games right now? Why, what, what's happening with rhythm games? And what is the, what is the one thing that the, an amazing game did that no other rhythm game is doing? And you're like, what the fuck? Why aren't you doing that? You know? Is it, is it like, like, like not having a, a screen lag compensator, you know, and not having a calibrator because I remember guitar hero had a calibrator because back then there were still like DLP TVs, but then crypto the necker dancer has a calibrator as well. You know? So it's like, what is that? Is that what it is? What's the feature? What's the thing? What's going on with flight simulators where they're like, I can't fucking believe they haven't updated the track IR
Starting point is 01:31:43 servers for any of these, sorry, drivers for these things in like 12 years. I'm, I'm, I'm still having to use busted old track IR servers. Like, oh, drivers, fuck, that's servers. What, you know, like, whatever, our, our digital card games using really low resolution JPEGs. You know what, you know what I do know? It's, it's shooters that come out and it's like, why do I have to go into the any file to turn off fucking mass acceleration? Sure. Sure. Like, why? Fucking why? Is there anything, is there anything worse than a game that like just doesn't have enough options? It's so frustrating when you go to the options and it's like sound volume, save load controls. Yeah, there was a game I played. I want to say in the past couple of months where
Starting point is 01:32:33 I went to options and it was like the sound and that was it. That was it. And I was like, what, what? Meanwhile, you, you load up, um, like doom, you load up sonic robo blast and two, and you see more options than you ever need. Like down to the animal crossing. Yeah. That's what it is. The options menu is, do you want to connect to your online account? Yes or no? That's it. It's literally the only option. Man, like there's a, like, like options are not, like if you're, if you have a design philosophy that's like keep things simple so that we don't overwhelm the user, giving people the choice to like minimize game volume or voice volume or sound effects or master is not an overwhelming thing. It allows you to customize your experience to
Starting point is 01:33:35 your comfort. Options are not optional. Options are not optional. I like that. Options should not be optional. Absolutely. The more the more it's, it's, it has been a near universal thing or the more, and like when I start a game and I go into the options, and if I see like multiple pages more than I expected, to me, that gives an incredibly good first impression and makes me go, oh, the people who made this, they care, they care, and, and they really care about their game being really high quality. That's, thank you. Yes. That's what it is. You get a feeling that the people actually thought about all of these little things and they exist anyway. These are little toggles that the developers have and they're giving you the ability to turn them on or off or change them to what you
Starting point is 01:34:30 will because they care about these little things. You know, in, in world of horror, like the little color filters, 2D and 3D. Oh man, there's so many. You know what I mean? And then, what is it? Like 8-bit and whatever, like the, I forget what the. One bit and two bit. One bit and two bit. Like, it's just a sign that it's like, yeah, man, we care about these little things. You know, we put the work in, we love it this, this much, and we hope that you notice and care about these little details too. And it doesn't, like, and I'm not even talking, I know you are, are, are by default going into like PC advanced settings, you know, you're to talk about a lot of that stuff. I'm, you get a world of that shit. And I'm like, I'm not even going there. Like, that is, that is,
Starting point is 01:35:19 definitely has to be there for computers because there's so many different variables. Have you, have you seen like the graphics options in the Resident Evil 2 games, Resident Evil 2 and 3? The graphics options, when you go into them, they have every single graphics option and there are a lot that you could toggle. They have a screenshot next to the toggle that shows you what it changes and it tells you how much video RAM on, on a bar, it's using when you turn it up. Bam. Okay. So when you go down to shadow quality and you go from low to medium to high, there's a screenshot that shows you what the shadows are going to look like zoomed in on low, medium and high. And as you click it up, the little bar of your total video memory
Starting point is 01:35:59 goes up. Wow. It's incredible. Wow. That's sick. That's really sick. Yo, how about the subtitle option in FF7R that's like, Hey, do you want to know who is saying that subtitle right now or that closed caption? We can turn off the name of the person who's speaking just in case the name itself gives something a way that you don't want. Just in case, just in case you don't want to see. Though they do use question marks or just whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Or do you want, yeah, do you want, do you want closed captioning or do you want subtitles on in Black Mesa as well, where it's like, you can fucking, you know, literally specify, do you want the sound effects described to you or not? Amazing. Amazing. Anyway. Yeah, that is, that is, that is a point where
Starting point is 01:36:51 it really begs the question of like, did you, do you, do you just care this little or did you just look at this and say, you know what, not enough time, doesn't matter. Just play the game, we want you to play it. We want you to have one experience with it. And we hope that this is all you get. If your PC game doesn't allow borderless full screen, why? Why do I have to go open up a third party program to turn that on? Now granted, in, in some cases, it's because Vulkan is a way better API and it works better in full screen. So I get it, whatever. But for anything that uses not that, I don't want full screen. I don't want non-portalist window to even exist. Load the game up in full screen, have my monitors go fucking crazy. Resolution,
Starting point is 01:37:42 refreshes, and then all everything breaks. Everything breaks on the refresh, bro. Every time. Sucks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, listen, I will never forget that, like, even when it comes to consoles, the fact that Xbox doesn't do resolution refreshes and PlayStation does just made recording that much easier. You can turn on an Xbox and start recording immediately and you don't have to worry about it ever. Every time the PS3 goes from the main menu to any game that has different resolution, it completely breaks the recording every single time. Fucking trash, man. Anyway, yeah, so annoying. Every single fucking time. All right. Well, anyway, let's take a quick word from our sponsors and
Starting point is 01:38:34 then let's talk about what's going on this week. Be right back. I'm going to get some orange juice. While you do that, I'll let the people know that this week the podcast is sponsored by Honey. So speaking of sweet things like orange juice, yeah, what is Honey? Honey is basically a free online shopping tool that saves you money online. It finds promo codes and applies them to your cart. And it makes it really easy to save money on a number of favorite sites, like the sites like Target, Best Buy, Sephora, Macy's, eBay, Etsy, Walmart, et cetera. It's simple. You don't have to deal with all the trouble that comes with finding coupon codes that actually work. Honey will just grab them for you. So when you're at, when you have to check out of multiple sites that
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Starting point is 01:40:29 honey. Sounds weirdly intimate when you put it that way. Oh, yes. Or not weirdly. And this week, Castle Super Beast is sponsored by Raycon. Hey, Raycon, what's up? Well, I'll tell you what's up. The Raycon earbuds, you know, we've already talked about them, already let the people know that they are the premium wireless earbuds that are half the price of the more expensive ones out there. They sound just as amazing as other top audio brands that you know. And Raycon's got their newest model, the everyday E25 earbuds are the best ones yet. Six hours of playtime, seamless Bluetooth pairing, more bass, more compact design,
Starting point is 01:41:25 gives you a nice noise isolating fit. And they're comfortable, perfect for conference calls, binging podcasts, whatever you want to do. Personally, I'm going to tell you right now that pretty much the entire quarantine has been spent with my lady rocking the Raycons, listening to podcasts, taking calls and doing, you know, day to day business and like even like going to sleep with them, listening to a podcast or just something soothing and whatnot. And it's rare that I can go like, hey, and like not have her go like, hold on a minute and then tap the little pause button and be like, Hey, what's up? So I know that she's making much use out of them and thoroughly enjoying the snug fit. So yeah, they're stylish and discreet, no dangling wires, no stems to distract anyone
Starting point is 01:42:25 during video calls. You got, you got no wires to worry about. If you're still worrying with wires in your life, stop it. We've moved beyond that technology has passed you. Wires are stupid. Wires are the past. Hate wires. Except if you're trying to play online fighting games. That's the only time wires are good. You don't have to wear those. You don't have to wear them. That's true. But wearing, wearing wires is terrible. We're past that. You heard me talk about how the company was co-founded by celebrities like Snoop Dogg and Ray J and such. So, you know, these are the names behind it. You can pick a pair up and see what
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Starting point is 01:44:03 fuck they are. Oh, shit. We got one on the skeleton. We got one over there on the backup microphone. We got one that we put on top of the camera so that our balls don't fall out when we're just hanging out. Okay. There's one upstairs. I think we lost one out in like Washington or some shit. Well, if there ever was a day to get them all out and put them on you like armor, today would be that day. It would be that. You could even like take two of them and like put them on your chest to be like little chest armor plates. So everyone who enjoys your reefer do so responsibly. Don't eat everything in your house, etc. Well, you can do it legally here. So, you know, that's what's up. Also, don't get high and go outside. That's actually a really bad idea.
Starting point is 01:44:59 Get high and stay in. That's the worst that could happen. You eat your food. Yeah, pretty much. Well, anyway, some stuff's happening. I just sent you a stuff unless if it wasn't on your list already. I will talk about that stuff in a very short. Real quick though, just because I didn't do it earlier, get the plugs in. Oh, you didn't get the plugs. I didn't get the plugs in. Right now on the channel. Dokopan Kingdom is fucking blasting off. What's the blood pool up to the blood pool right now? What's it up to? I saw some numbers and I want confirmation 2315. That's what I thought. Blood pool is at 2315. Peace pool is at 580. Shit. I've given my recommendation on Twitter, approval, etc. I'll do so here. I am personally
Starting point is 01:46:15 rooting for Reggie. I too. I wish him the best of luck. I too am rooting for Reggie. I am on team Reggie. Yeah, I don't believe you. No, I told him. We discussed this. I'm absolutely on his side. All right. I don't believe you and he shouldn't believe you either. That's okay. That's you're allowed. But I do believe. No one should believe you. I do believe that you have been referred to as African American. You know, I think I've been called that more times in my life than you have. It's weird. Interesting. It's weird. Probably not with some of the because because there's a handful of people
Starting point is 01:47:14 in public like by different people as opposed to the same because there's a hat. Okay, you know, there's there's a handful of people that shoot that count up on their own. Yeah. Okay. Okay. You understand? Yeah. Yeah. It's a rich tapestry. Very, very. So that was pretty funny. What was really funny though is people being like, oh, to the reaction of Reggie calling me the n-word. But then he put up that fucking pole that scared everyone that made every like it was like, should black should black folk use that word? It was yes. You're not going to trick me. You're not going to trick me on this podcast. Shout outs to the meme. Shout outs to the meme of Jim from the office pointing to the board that
Starting point is 01:48:11 just says everyone can use the n-word results may vary. Oh God. I mean, that's technically accurate. Everyone can use it. He puts up the pole and is like, should black folk use that word? It's like, yes, I'm black and no, I'm black. Yes, I'm not black and no, I'm not black. And the first reply that killed me was like, I am not brave enough to vote on this. Or as I gave it option five, Mitch Digger. I don't like that. I don't like that. That clip from that TV show that's going around, you know, so say it, Dan. I'll say it with you. Come on. Yeah, good times. It's good times. Yeah, I believe Reggie's wording was much more to the point. It was significantly more to the point.
Starting point is 01:49:11 Okay. However, you're not going to trick me not on this live podcast. You know, I see it last week and there was a, when the podcast came out and people were like, is racism like the most exciting thing that could happen in Woolie's life? Like it seems like nothing makes you happier than discovering new racisms. I kind of love it. You get a gleam in your eye and you're like, oh, yay. It just, it does a little something, you know? It just, it lights a little like, like, oh, here it comes. Oh, here we go. Oh, what's happening? Oh, yay. It's so fun. It's so fun. It's the same feeling of when somebody says something remote, like the fucking mind numbingly stupid. Yeah. And your heart just wants to go,
Starting point is 01:50:12 go on. It's, you know, just like, tell us more, especially when it comes from a place that was so buried and it was like, you know, it was like, they thought it was like 20 feet deep, but it turns out it was just underneath the sand. They just kind of kicked some sand over it and they're like, yeah, no, that's a beach. That's not a bunker over there. You can run through that. Oh, it was there. It was right there. You know, there's no bunker under it. What are you talking about? You know, and then it just comes blasting out. You're like, ah, there it is. There it is. You know, you have to understand. Here it comes. The inside of my mind. There's a fucking Apollo 13 control room going. Yeah. I feel like every time I feel like I feel like you're sitting at
Starting point is 01:51:06 a fancy restaurant. Well, and behind you, a man is talking to his wife and you can overhear him and he says, I'm not racist, but and then you Chris Pratt turned towards the camera with your grin smile. I will just like just getting so excited. What can it be? I will. I will put my hand over punch mom's mouth to lean in to fucking grab a glass and just what? Wait, wait, wait, no, wait, what? Like I need it. I need it. Oh, it gives me power. It gives me fuel energy, man. God. It's like it's I've I have never seen someone so excited to encounter racism in my life. It's a special thing you got going. It's like Captain Pollution, you know,
Starting point is 01:52:12 when the when the when the reverse planeteers unite with the power of smog, greed and and and all the awful things and they buy your powers combined. I am Captain Pollution and he just powers up. Oh, love it. Love it. It's it's great. So see, this is why this is why I'm never going to trust you when you when the when the camera turns off or fuck it when the camera is on, you go, hey, Pat, you know, I've been really thinking about it. It's time to give you your it's time to give you your past. Your your your your a okay. Trust me. I'm like, fuck you. I'm going to trust you. That passes a lie. You're full of shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because what am I going to do? Fucking get hurt by it? What am I going to get insulted by someone throwing that
Starting point is 01:53:09 shit my way? Like, like, I think, you know what I mean? Like, oh, no, the oh, but the left the fuck that this is great. This is the real you. You're in a persona dungeon right now. And I get to watch it's the best. It's the fucking midnight channel and we're the real world, dude. Not going to fucking get hurt by that. It rules. Oh my god. It's the real you came out to say hi. Hi. Hello. Oh, man, love it. Love it. All right. What's new in the world this week? Well, um, anyway, Dukapan's great. Um, uh, Kotor two is great, but it's on hold. Uh, gotta see how little beef house we do it. I think I think he's okay. I think he's okay. Um, gotta, gotta get details, gotta find out what's up. But unfortunately, uh, there is a thing where
Starting point is 01:54:20 it's like, Hey, you know, you can't really just waltz in and be like, Hey, test please, because if you're not essential, then that's that tests are only for essential people. So supposedly, but don't they have the actual walk in? Yeah. But like, like in the middle of plastic, they have a drive in at the middle of plastic is our where you don't even have to get out of your car. But right though, but those places turned into essential only. Okay. So, you know, we're gonna, we're gonna play that nice and safe. For a long time, I would recommend and we're gonna see what's up. Um, but yes, uh, so Dukapan is going and half life. I just beat Black Mesa.
Starting point is 01:55:10 Hey, Zen's great. Zen's great news. That's great news. I watched old footage of old Zen, old Zen. It's fucking like now I seen it. Fucking unbelievable ridiculous, ridiculously trash. Because that game's incredible. And then you get to the end, you're like, wow, this sucks. I will say this, I will say this, like the lack of beauty and completely frustrating platforming and nonsense puzzles and drabness are a flavor unto themselves that is alien. If you want a gray, brown, shitty alien desolate world, that is what old Zen does. But boy, is that not, um, not that fun. So new Zen is great.
Starting point is 01:56:06 And, uh, the final area of new Zen is the best part of the game. There is a sequence that is the sequence that they put you on right before the last fight is this unbelievable elevator sequence. That is, to me, the best part of the game. Incredible work to that team, to crowbar collective. That's crazy because that shit, it's like it's the design just coming through in such strength. What they essentially do is, um, you start going through these areas where, um, you know, the, um, the Zarya gun is what I call it. Gauss gun. It's the, it's the, it's the, it's the Zarya beam. It's the plasma beam gun. You hold it with two hands and it's got no alt fire. Right. Yeah. So, uh, that thing of the glue on gun. Thank you. So that thing, uh, basically,
Starting point is 01:57:12 is, is, it's incredible, but the whole time you're, you know, limited ammo on that shit. What are you going to do? You basically get through, get to some areas where there is a type of crystal that refills that ammo. And so you just get to beast. You get to beast and it's satisfying. I wonder where they took that from. That gimmick sounds very familiar. Okay. And awesome. Very, very, very, very, very cool sequence. Um, you go through this kind of like final area of the Zen factory and then you get to, you know, all your stuff. Um, then you get your final boss fight and then you get hired. Oh yeah. And, uh, that was certainly a moment of like, what the shit that, that game, like end ending ends like fucking so weird and so
Starting point is 01:58:19 much weirder than the rest of, I couldn't imagine what that must have been like back in the day. It feels like back in the day that it must have been an ending where they were like, let's just, we have no plan for what this even means. Let's just do something wild. You know? Yep. I feel like you improvise, they yes, and did the way that Half-Life 1 ends, because you're, you're so drawn into what the fuck that could possibly be. And from what I understand, answers are still, still being waited on. Hey, Willie, since you're diving in, like really diving in, you will within the year understand why I'm always so pissed off about Half-Life whenever Half-Life comes in. Right. Um, that being said, the first like 90 seconds of Half-Life 2 are,
Starting point is 01:59:15 is probably my favorite thing that ever happened in Half-Life, because it's just G-Man talking. Yeah. I started Half-Life 2. And G-Man talking. Not now, but years ago. Yeah, exactly. And I remember, you saw like G-Man just talking to you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I saw, I remember you're just, to you, just talking to you about stuff. It's, it's, it's a specific line of dialogue, which is like the right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. And it's like, oh man, that's just the best line. And it's the best read. And it's not so good. He's a weird lynch character. Yeah, absolutely. And he, he introduces himself by pausing time and reality and walking towards you and introducing himself. And you're like, okay, I was, we're on, this is a whole
Starting point is 02:00:06 different thing. I was most certainly prepared for, because of course I've heard about G-Man, so I was most certainly prepared for this guy to show up and be some kind of ridiculous. Yeah, he thought he was going to be what, like a government scum bag that was like, who knows? Like the smoking man or some shit. Maybe smoking man, maybe, right? Because he's like, oh, we're quiet conversations. We don't know what's going on over here or whatever. Exactly. Maybe more like smoking man, you know? And then it's like, no, I am a God walking through time right now. He's cute from Star Trek. And also I have employers. And so they go status hired. And the first question is like, by who? And everyone's like, yeah. Yeah. I don't know, lol. So Half-Life, how about that?
Starting point is 02:01:01 Damn, the wait for Half-Life 2 is brutal because of that. Tell you what, man, but we got opposing force and blue shift in those, in our mirrors. You know, something, something, there's something to be said where it's like a lazy last minute cliffhanger that like, let's say a cartoon does to try to stay on the air is always really transparent. You can see it coming a mile away. You can see when there's like, we are now going to kind of wrap up the story. And then in the last 10 minutes, make an escalation of problems that are unrealistically extreme and then go, you better fucking resign us on for a third season to find out what's happening. And then it's a bit of a fucking game of chicken in which the show usually ends up getting rolled over by the train that is
Starting point is 02:01:49 the network. In this case, I feel like they kind of made that gamble, but like it was so out there that like it fucking worked because you got because you're like, this is not something that was, um, the game didn't, didn't, didn't play with these kinds of concepts. Oh yeah, it comes, it's total left field. It's, it's nonsense, but it also allows them to start Half-Life 2 at a completely different location and time and go like, yeah, we don't have to show you the, the continuation of events to get to this new setting. You're just at the new setting now. Sure. Cause why wouldn't you be? Look at this. Look at what we've seen here. Look at what this, what this man is. So yeah, that's, that's, that's really curious and interesting. Um,
Starting point is 02:02:46 you know, uh, uh, yeah, I want to know what happens now. And I want to know if the gamble is like, I want to know if like they're able to live up to the mystery in a way. No, because that's always the problem is you create a really strong mystery and then you now have to follow through with it and your follow through was terrible. Well, I'm going to, I'm going to tell you right now, and I don't think anybody is going to begrudge me. I don't think Half-Life has given a single answer to one question ever, ever. Well, that sucks. There is no answer. That sucks.
Starting point is 02:03:33 There's a bunch of cool ass shit that happens. Bunch of cool ass shit, but nothing. So now the version of in your head that auto completes is the hypothetical cool thing. But they don't actually get even played portal one and two, right? You remember the little black Mesa jokes in there? That's about as much answer as you get. Okay. Okay. You know, um, yeah, it's, it's, it's really, that's, that's a bummer. That's a bummer because this is that that then reminds me of all of the death game stories I talk about where
Starting point is 02:04:19 you had no plan, you know, you didn't know where to go with it. And, and also why Attack on Titan is great because they had a very clear plan and they went good places with it, you know, uh, which is super, super unexpected. It should be, it should be like told to you that the Half-Life series is a graphical showpiece series first and foremost. And then after that, it's encounter and shooter design. And after that is narrative. Right. Right. Valve is so much more interested in like facial technology and VR shits and, you know, new shaders than they are with anything else. Yeah. And then there's that bit and then there's the other stuff. Right. Right. Right.
Starting point is 02:05:08 Oh boy. That is not what, uh, you'd want of a flagship series, unfortunately. Um, but or, or like if you're going to put these burning questions out there, like what, don't you understand how frustrating it is to not answer them? The longer that goes on, the more annoyed you get with the franchise, I suppose. What if Half-Life 3 that everyone's waiting on doesn't answer any of those questions? It won't. Okay. Well, even the, um, the, the plan for Half-Life 3 that, that Mark Laidlaw talked about, even that ended in another nonsensical cliffhanger. Well, all right. Um, anyway, so that, that, that's, that's where that's at. Uh, but I enjoyed that. I had a good time with BlackBesa. I think it's a good game and I'd like to know more about
Starting point is 02:06:20 it's great for you, man. And yes, I did watch a, a bit of, um, Half-Life, but the VR, Half-Life, but Half-Life VR, but the AI is self-aware. And, uh, I saw that. That shit is bananas. I saw some of that. That shit is hilarious. I found a rope, Gordon. No. Well, anyway, um, you can check all that out and more at, uh, wooly versus on Twitch, wooly versus on YouTube. And, uh, yeah, for those of you who are interested in, in, in the, uh, following Dukapon, which there is an increasing amount of, of, of, of interest. The other week there was some fucked up Twitch shit, right? You had to replay some FF7. Oh, I, I lost, uh, I lost two hours FF7. Yeah. And that shit sponsored. So no, you didn't. Yeah. And, uh, and it was the, uh, it was the hours of the single most important
Starting point is 02:07:22 part of the game. And so I, I went and re-recorded it, which you better appreciate it, fuckers, but I mean, it's, it's cool. You know, so since I'm recording, uh, in two different formats, then I still do have the lost footage, uh, which will be releasing to the anime. Uh, so, you know, everybody can catch up, but I also did explain, uh, on the next session what, what was lost in the, in the, in the footage. And it was just a Twitch wide fuckup, unfortunately. So, um, there, there should be not, there should be minimal problems for, for, for, uh, those who are following the story loyally either way, but I just would like to remind folks that as, uh, the manga continues to increase in its, its views and, and build up
Starting point is 02:08:05 on those pods that, uh, the anime, the anime helps us out. So, uh, if you get a chance to check out out on YouTube, that'll, that'll, please support the official release, check out, by all means, read the cancellations, by all means, read the cancellations. They're out there and, uh, they, they get you guys excited for what comes next, uh, but supporting the official release, uh, directly helps. And, uh, yeah, because there's, there's, there's, there's definitely a point where your list like, ooh, okay. This VOD number is extremely comparable to this YouTube number. Yeah, sure is. And that would have worked really well going the opposite way. So, you know, um, please, uh, please, please, please check it out on YouTube too as well. Cause, uh, the VODs are,
Starting point is 02:08:56 you know, just kind of sitting there. So, you know, man, I know you talked about it briefly last week, but now that you've finally beat Black Mesa, I fucking love that you have this context of why this dorky looking dude with thick rim glasses and this ugly looking orange and gray suit is, is like people like greatest, greatest hero ever, right up there with Lincoln, master chief and doom guy. And you're like, what has a crowbar? That crowbar cannot be defeated. That crowbar has the highest DPS I've ever seen. The highest DPS I've ever seen. Like if, if I, it's like that nerd from MIT is making it work. I honestly would have thought that was a bug. If you showed me footage, I would have thought like,
Starting point is 02:09:44 oh yeah, someone sped this up and like he's got like quad damage on and he's got like, uh, an accelerant that's speeding him up, but just like, like, wow, you know. Yeah. Folks have pointed out that VODs do have ads that run on them, but, uh, from what I understand, that is a, uh, later YouTube, that is a later Twitch edition that is, uh, nowhere, still nowhere, nowhere near as beneficial as, uh, on YouTube, not even close. So VOD ads aren't the same thing. Aren't the same thing at all, uh, folks. So thank you. All right. Onto the news. Uh, I know you sent me. I know you sent me one, but, uh, I think the, I think it's important to start with, uh,
Starting point is 02:10:32 a, a PSA for everybody. It's the same one I gave you as soon as we jumped on. Oh, yes. Folks, if you have a Nintendo switch online, uh, count, you need to go to the Nintendo.com website, log in and immediately give yourself two factor authentication or two step authentication, whatever you prefer to call it, two step verification, whatever. But the point is, is go on, hit that, turn on your, your, your, uh, extra step of using your phone to log into your device, because, uh, Nintendo's gotten hacked and people are currently using switch accounts to use their PayPal associated accounts as well. So, yeah, uh, two weeks ago, I want to say we first started to see some tweets going around where it's like, there were some hacks that went
Starting point is 02:11:27 through and apparently some people were seeing unauthorized usage on their switch accounts. And, um, and yeah, that shit sucks. I remember, yeah, it's always Fortnite V bucks. Yeah, seriously. I remember, uh, like fucking God, like close to 10 years ago, one time when I saw, uh, my PayPal shit, uh, got, got hacked and it was to buy Minecraft shit. It was to buy Minecraft garbage. And I was like, I get what? You know, like this is the, this is what you're doing with it. Like, okay, anyway, this is what it's for, right? Anyway, do you want EA, uh, what was it called? My team passes or whatever the fuck that is? Just you go through all this trouble for this garbage, you know, this is, this is the interests of the trash that, that does this to your account.
Starting point is 02:12:18 You get to see something about their personality almost, but, uh, anyway, so one, um, make sure you go onto the site and you can, you can't do it through the switch, which is stupid. Very stupid. It's really dumb, but if you only use the switch to make your account, you cannot put two factor on. You can only do it on the security page of Nintendo's account website. So, uh, go do that. And then secondly is, uh, there's recommendations that you disassociate your PayPal and saved information with your account just to be extra secure. So it's going to be a pain in the ass to, to put it back on every time. I don't even know how to do that.
Starting point is 02:13:00 Uh, that you can do from the switch. Yeah, I don't know. Yes, you can. I've done it. No, I've done it. I tried to pull a credit card off of it earlier and I did. I've got a switch right here. I can tell you exactly how to do it in a couple of steps because, uh, I have done it. You pretty much do it. Uh, on the switch itself, you go to the online, you go to the, um, the eShop page,
Starting point is 02:13:27 then you go to your profile page in the top right. Then you should scroll down and you should see your credit card and or your PayPal and an unlink button. I see. And then once you do that, uh, yeah, it'll just be like, okay, well, you can fill that information out every time you want to use it. Um, but yeah, two factors, a great security step as well. And it never hurts to change your passwords too.
Starting point is 02:13:56 You know, yeah, can't hurt. So, uh, these are all things that you want to do to avoid getting your shit checked, uh, hacked, but if you could, if you also, uh, uh, want to, you can definitely check your login history on the site too. And you can see in the last 30 days who is connected to your account and where you've connected from. And if you, um, generally connect, see if a connection comes in from a new source, you should have gotten an email about it saying, Hey, a new device is trying to connect
Starting point is 02:14:29 to your Nintendo account and you can go back and see when that happened and what location they were, uh, trying to connect to you from. Yeah. I'm looking at my sign in history and it's like, it's my windows PC and my Samsung phone. Yeah. And that's it. So exactly. So yeah, my, my, my mind checked out fine too, but, uh, you can go there and just see
Starting point is 02:14:48 anything weird or anything unexpected and you can, and that means that, uh, you might have been compromised. Um, but yeah, that's, that's pretty much it. That's all you do. You just connect on your, you go to your profile and you on like your shit. Um, and of course, uh, none of this guarantees that like, you know, they didn't already get your shit, but it's the extra steps that, uh, will come in handy if they have that device information and they have like, let's say any passwords they grabbed from that that
Starting point is 02:15:20 apply to other things on your email than those are at risk too. So you got to be careful out there folks. Don't get robbed. That's my advice of the day. Fortnite idiots and Minecraft idiots are out there taking your shit. Pushing their beds together with your money. So jackasses. The two step verification uses the Google authenticator, um, which I prefer SMS, but
Starting point is 02:15:58 you know, whatever, it's still an extra level of security. So that's what that's what's going on. Okay. So there's that. Now then onto darts. On to darts. What's going on with darts, wolves? Dark competition moves online.
Starting point is 02:16:21 Players withdraw because their internet sucks. So what happened was, is that these dart people down in the UK were like, okay, so we can just play darts because darts, you know, you only use the one dart board. So what you do is you put a video camera at the dart board and you play darts. I just inhaled so much spit. Why did I do this? You go, guess what? Do what you got to do.
Starting point is 02:17:00 Careful. I inhaled like a whole... Careful. Careful, man. Oh man. Get some water. That's going to be what kills me one day. Wrong hole.
Starting point is 02:17:17 Yeah, I inhaled a whole spit down my blowpipe. Ah. Please do not die of wrong hole. I wouldn't be the first. Oh god. That was so awful. Oh my god. Drink.
Starting point is 02:17:54 Ah. Just right. Oh jeez. Anyway, dart people. There you go. They have bad internet. So they can't play darts online because they are red bars. Something about that delivery.
Starting point is 02:18:17 That's the story. Kind of lost the punch there. Yeah, a little bit. A little bit of a punch. Apparently loads of athletes are keeping busy playing video games and this article says what the professional darts corporation home tour is being broadcast in England involves pro dart players going up against each other online and they simply record themselves playing at home and upload footage.
Starting point is 02:18:46 Gary Anderson however says I had to withdraw. I was up for it but when I did the test with my wi-fi it's just not reliable enough. Doesn't surprise me. I started to play bills online in my house. It's really frustrating and he shows an internet test where he's got 4.6 down and 0.9 up. That guy apparently lives like in rural England or some shit. So 17ms latency. That's no good.
Starting point is 02:19:15 Makes sense though because as an older guy who just plays darts all day, I get why he doesn't need the hardest super fast internet. I play fucking darts so that I don't need internet. Look at you kids with your digital crap. I got darts. Darts don't need internet. His decision drew some criticism because people didn't believe him leading to his management coming to his defense saying that he lives in a rural area.
Starting point is 02:19:48 And yeah they had to put out a statement basically going like you know it's not just him. World Grand Prix champion Darryl Gurney also withdrew for the same reason his internet wi-fi sucks. Take that red bars. It's affecting sports now too. Hey I beat wedges score so I'm pretty good at darts. Yeah I beat wedges score too wedges a bitch. He's not even that good at darts.
Starting point is 02:20:28 Where the fuck? There was another point in the game where I saw a dart board and I remember that I ran up to it and it wasn't a real dart board. Yeah and it was really inappropriate timing. The timing was bad but I kind of was wondering I'm like can I maybe get in a little game before we know? It was uh it's in wall market it's in the bar in wall market. What was?
Starting point is 02:20:56 You run up and you're uh darts and you're like oh Can't. Yeah. Darn. Or like when you're like hey I'm Tifa right now can I Can I uh no no no no no not that one it's when it's it's uh can I play darts as Eryth? It's like nah. Can't.
Starting point is 02:21:17 No. Oh well. Anyway. The red bars go home they are home. And they are home. Everyone's in northern London. Oh how fuck. I'm sorry for sucking down that spit the wrong way guys.
Starting point is 02:21:45 My apologies for scaring y'all. Wrong hole. Yeah man the air one. He you need that hole to breathe. Not the food one I'm not a dolphin. Like dolphins don't eat through the blow holes. What the fuck are you talking about? Anyway uh we got uh just a little little little nice story here but uh makes me happy I like I like knowing that they sat down they did a little interview with the Kirby devs and the Kirby devs had some fun things to say uh kumazaki who's been a mystery.
Starting point is 02:22:35 Uh was involved actually and they basically just said uh hey the next game we want to work on we want it to be the pinnacle of Kirby games which is like. Considering they've been on a fucking hot streak uh I believe that to be extraordinarily possible with this team of people uh and they also want to work on uh non-action spin offs for Kirby. The Kirby franchise is quietly. One of extreme quality and. An. Me pretty much perfect track record uh it just kind of exists over there and uh if you if you venture in you're going to enjoy it so more Kirby. More Kirby is good. More Kirby has never been bad.
Starting point is 02:23:25 Kirby RPG Kirby air ride. All of it Kirby golf. Kirby golf Kirby cart. Kirby doing his taxes. Puyo may cry. Yeah. All of it. All of it.
Starting point is 02:23:48 Kirby stupid you're stupid. Thank you you're welcome. I'm glad we had this talk. You ever. Feel that gurgling automatic reaction and realize I'm adding nothing new to this and decide maybe I can take it a different way but then just go now let's just go back to the basics. No never cool just check it. Wait are you talking about Kirby or me or you I can't I actually kind of lost the thread on it's gone. And you know what else is gone unfortunately.
Starting point is 02:24:43 The original Leon Kennedy has passed away. Yeah Paul had dad recently passed away from the original Leon Kennedy. That's a bummer. Fucking lame. So apparently he was going to be or is is involved with Daymare 1998. As well. Yeah. Apparently he was going to or might have done.
Starting point is 02:25:13 I don't know if they if he is involved or not or if they got their work done or not but they're the ones that kind of put it out there. So it seems like Daymare 1998 was being was let people know because Paul had had worked with them as well. And yeah he wasn't the voice of Leon in 2019's are you to mind you. No he hasn't been it's quite some time. But the the old the old Leon and I guess the the the voice actors of the the the memes and the legacy you know lines are all it worked and all that great coming from that from that group so rest in peace. Ah dude come on pretty young looking guy too sorry my cat was scratching at 56 Jesus it's pretty young. Damn. So I talked a little bit about the Ninjala open beta test that's going to be coming.
Starting point is 02:26:24 You mentioned it so that's going down on excuse me October April 28. So yeah in about a week it's coming out and it is going to be going down the 28th and the 29th. There's a couple of there's a range of hours that they have on the official website with it. And they put out a couple of different promo things to kind of introduce Ninjala. So there is the like one there's like a 10 minute little short animation that's kind of introducing the world and the characters and like why things are what they are in a way. It's a bit like those almost like when Overwatch kind of had those little introduction things you know. And in it you get to see that like that people are actually proportioned much more like normal Pixar sized people in this world. And the technology ends up de-aging them to look like the little kids we see in this in the inkling kind of proportions.
Starting point is 02:27:30 That's fucking it's very weird like a lot of things in the game. It's like yeah they're actually like they're more they're more normal sized but then like they become like inkling of fine. That's like the the arms thing where it's like they have normal arms until they put on the arms gene on locker and then they get the spring arms. You're like what's the power of the ninja gum man. Did that really need an explanation? Sure did. So ninjas have been ninjas forever and then in the future ninja ninja genes exist in some people. And if you chew ninja gum then it unlocks those powers and it lets you do crazy shit with the ninja gum.
Starting point is 02:28:09 That's stupid. That's where we're at. End result. I guess an end result is Ninjala. Game looks great. So what we got is a we got definitely not Splatoon definitely not pay no mind to the fact that the ninja mask even has the fucking black outline around it. That looks similar to the the Splatoon style so don't worry about it. Don't worry anyway.
Starting point is 02:28:41 So yeah you know one one pricey little FMV introduction later. They had some developer diaries come out to kind of introduce the gameplay and to show off how the melee works and how powers work and stuff. And you know it is what you expect. It's like there's there's you have abilities you have cooldowns you have the ninja you have like blowing up the bubble. And then from that you can convert the bubble into like you know better weapons or better better better better tech or. You know other other buffs but inflating the bubble also acts as a shield if someone comes to melee you it'll like kind of block them from from doing that. But if your shield breaks and the gun pops on you and then you're disabled. So there's that.
Starting point is 02:29:30 That's terrible. If you attack somebody at the same time there's a parry system where you enter a what is essentially. The soul caliber fives. What is it called soul whatever. Oh my god I don't remember the name of the rock paper scissors. That's a long time ago. So you enter that where you clash and then you have to choose between what they call. The word used in the video is a trilemma.
Starting point is 02:30:04 Which I did not know was a thing. And I'm going to use Google to look and find out if it's a thing reversal edge. Thank you very much. It's end up it ends up being like a reversal edge. Trilemma is the is the word used in the video. I mean it's it's root word is a difficult choice from three options is a trilemma. Yeah yeah that's a real word. That's a real fucking word.
Starting point is 02:30:35 Does that mean you can have a quad lemma. If it's if it mathematically works out I don't I don't see why not. Quad dilemma. Yeah probably quaint lemma. Oh man that's crazy quadrilemma quadrilemma. That would probably be it. A quadrilemma is four difficult choices. Yeah that's real.
Starting point is 02:31:14 Sexy lemma. Septilema octilema. Yeah probably. We don't have enough trapezoids in our daily lives. I'm just thinking about that because we're using all these number terms. I'm just thinking about man I love a good old trapezoid. Pentilema. Tetris.
Starting point is 02:31:31 Anyway I want to say that basically you end up clashing and then you have to pick a high side or low attack and then you you know you call you do it a couple times and then the victor gets you know to knock the other away and the usual and then there's like you can get kills but then you can also get like ipon which is like kills that were like harder than normal kills like if you got killed with an ability or if you got killed while you were staggered or something like that then that whatever you know so yeah it looks like it's gonna be fun looks like it's gonna be cool so you can check those out and you can get a better look at the system if you go check out the the dev diaries on Ninjala right now but yeah jump on on the test
Starting point is 02:32:17 on the 28th which is going to be next Tuesday. Might as well because very few games coming out in the next six months and hey very few online is trash right now people suck why not dunk on them even if it's your first time touching it alongside everybody else uh okay so another cool thing going on is uh tanuki sunset the synth wave raccoon skateboarding game really look up i'm gonna take a look at the trailer for tanuki sunset and when you get the it's got that fucking vapor wave sun in it again and the sun is bouncing to the beat
Starting point is 02:33:17 and uh when you get into the gameplay be sure to make sure you check out the music because uh whereas tony hawk has set an expectation of what kind of music we want to hear when we're skateboarding i was very pleasantly surprised to hear low-fi hip hop as the soundtrack to tanuki sunset oh this game is beautiful it's gorgeous it's gorgeous so no pretending to be superman actually we're going low-fi hip hop on this we're going new jebess oh that looks great oh they're knocking over the little vlc cones all right yeah check it out it's cute it's cute and the the raccoon is trying really hard to skate down uh what looks like a treacherous ass highway created in the death stranding world
Starting point is 02:34:20 because it's floating over an abyss um and it's not it's not and the raccoon he's on a longboard yeah he's not on a on a standard deck he's on a longboard so you know longboards always remind me of surfboards two things the uh one asshole that i knew that had a longboard and was a total asshole about the fact it's a longboard dude it's not a skateboard and the onion article from many years ago which is uh young man tragically is not uh involved in an accident while riding his longboard to his digital media job say that again young man is tragically not involved in an accident while writing his longboard to his digital media job i see tragically not involved yes gotcha yep yep longboards uh i remember
Starting point is 02:35:21 i had a friend of mine who made one out of his his broken uh he made one out of his broken snowboard actually they're they're just you know they're just cozy riding if you're not looking to do tricks if you're not looking to grind and and uh do any fucking christ errors anytime soon then you just grab a longboard and uh you just roll on it that's all that's all you do and some people do do some kind of tricks with it but a lot of them are more just kind of it's a skateboard for pretentious people that don't know how to do skate tricks sometimes you can do some fancy manual stuff on um on a longboard you can you can do some fancy stuff but like way way more limited i have intensely associated longboard with with with fucking assholes like what like oh my god
Starting point is 02:36:11 look at this motherfucker in his longboard it's a bit like look at this look at this piece of shit so it's a bit like like how there's there's different types of motorcycles you know there's a dirt bike there's a there's a fucking kawasaki ninja and then there's a harley and then there's a touring cycle you know and all of those people have stereotypes associated they all they serve their different functions um yeah so longboard is more of a mode of transportation than it is a thing to do the tricks with you know it's almost like one of those yoyos that doesn't sleep it's like well i guess it's just a just it's not an old classic yoyo and it's not even a new type yoyo it's just one of them non-sleeping yoyos like i'm looking up photos of people on longboards
Starting point is 02:37:01 and i want to throw up hey what if they're just getting from point a to point b what's the problem what's the problem then they can use a bicycle a bus a metro or their fucking feet or a longboard it's nothing wrong with it it's fine it makes me excited to see people on longboards with no protective equipment because if they fall they'll really hurt themselves okay boomer no not on longboards if it was cyclists yeah i'd give you that one but the longboards are horrible does a piece of wood with four wheels and ball bearings attached offend you
Starting point is 02:37:55 no only if it's a certain length obviously come on man got it what about the mini boards the super tiny ones i mean like hand-sized or like oh no no not even no okay yeah so there's finger not like no not a tech deck no there's the suit there's the super tiny decks that are like literally you just roll on these things and you don't do much with them so the smaller the better like smaller the better smaller the skateboard or like what what would that even penny board penny board what the fuck is a penny board i don't see it it's uh it's like a it's like a skateboard but it's really small sep sep for kids or yeah or our man children why a penny board over a skateboard wouldn't that be more difficult to ride or what
Starting point is 02:38:46 probably easier to to like carry and put away i suppose if you're using it to if you're not gonna you know be in a place where you can actually put it away but it's a very tiny skateboard and you can still you can still ride it around that's fucking stupid you have fucking 22 or 27 inches you got you got some small boards so what size what size is uh what's the length that that you hit just get a skateboard just go to the skateboard shop get a skateboard fall down break your elbow never skateboard again this is the path that everyone should take i mean personally i i don't disagree with that i say get a skateboard because you can do the most with a skateboard you can use it to get around
Starting point is 02:39:37 and you can do tricks and that's fun but when i did use my friend's longboard i did definitely appreciate the smoother ride that came from the longer board and the bigger wheels i was like oh this rides a lot smoother of course you're like what's the deal of longboards you've rid a long board you're a longboarder i don't own a longboard you're you're a longboard enthusiast i have only ridden a longboard once and it felt more comfortable because uh here's one thing that happens the smaller the deck the more you're gonna feel the bumps of the road and the sidewalk and the the little shit that you did you hit on the street if a if a street is badly paved you're gonna feel it way more on a smaller skateboard than you would on a on a longer a
Starting point is 02:40:24 bigger one and it uh it ends up being like ah the street sucks i hate this paving it's annoying good great reason to get off your skateboard all right well all right all right do you want to know where this comes from hurt you who hurt you all right all right here's where it comes from everybody get ready it's going to be really disappointing everybody that i ever knew that rode a skateboard i'd be like all cool skateboard like tony hawk and they're like yeah i'm like can you do a kickflip and they'd be like no and that's the whole story you don't know anybody that can do a kickflip if you write i did not know one kid that could ever do a kickflip some tried and they always ate
Starting point is 02:41:11 shit and that was in way better than had they been able to nail it um but i'm like yeah unless you can do a trick get off your skateboard you've wasted your time pat i believe this is what the kids refer to as malding i think you're malding right now how would i spell that it's exactly what it sounds like mad and bald no no malding friend sorry i regret to inform you wouldn't that be malding i regret to inform you that you're malding which would probably be a really great brand of skateboard like if you went to like you know you went you went to the shop you got element you got dark star you got girl and then
Starting point is 02:42:13 you got malding and it has like different crazy ass drawings by different famous artists of malding people uh i would buy that unfortunately i discovered that uh twitch screen twitch streamer explains why he trademarked the word malding the fuck filed a trademark application in the united states for the world awesome sounds like a cool guy great so yeah he filed the trademark as a joke according right clearly he went through the process out of everything too yeah i went through the process and the lawyer of filing a trademark big jokes for everyone knows that the funniest jokes involve real lawyers yeah this hilarious hilarious lawyers are the ultimate punch up to a bit no lawyers are known funny people and not subhuman lizards oh
Starting point is 02:43:15 shit it's great i have a i have a good friend of mine a really good friend of mine that i've known for 15 years who became a pretty good lawyer and there's a really really insanely clear distinction of when he is my buddy from college and when he's being a lawyer i can see the second set of eyelids start to twitch he kind of stiffens up he talks in different cadence it's fucking weird it's so weird i have legally i'm legally required to inform you on behalf of my client that it's just a prank bro just james funny jokes ha ha ha so tenuki sunset the music is awesome but hey raccoons are cute so they can ride skateboard yeah i want bulldogs too what about tenukes bulldogs can ride skateboards all day tenukes are just raccoons with giant
Starting point is 02:44:22 giant balls that can be used to trick humans all right oh yeah they can ride skateboards too just be careful about the droop in fact there are ancient scrolls that show tenukes gathering up their nutsack flesh and attaching them together to form like little like shields to like bounce humans away and to protect themselves and to travel with and to sail with what the fuck dude tenuki balls are literally just like they're they're omni tools what the fuck to ask japan there's gonads and strife indeed there's pictures of them using them as weapons to knock humans away there you go um so yeah tenuki sunset all right
Starting point is 02:45:23 uh we gotta you know kind of little little tiny one but uh it's it's it's out there it's out there there is a uh dang and rampa is getting ported to mobile platforms which you know right for the type of game it is why not makes perfect sense why not same thing as phoenix right kicking over makes perfect it's just it's it's a visual novel and um you know argument mini games that are basically just like you know um word selection and puzzle selection based occasionally there's a little bit of like reaction required like there's a logic surfing one where you have to do like a little like um um kind of mini like surf track you know to get to like to get to a logic point but like for the most part you're kind of just like playing
Starting point is 02:46:20 these little mini games and then otherwise doing visual novel control so it'd be very easy to adapt to touch controls for that so yeah dang and rampa um and i believe they said uh what are they calling it anniversary editions of uh one two and three uh are coming out what's that actually going to entail so it seems it entails overhauled user interface remapped controls for touchscreen support new gallery modes and uh that's about all we know so far no other details at the moment so and that's one two and three and none of the spin-offs so you're you're in the clear every hooray a okay you're good to go um that's that's nice other things coming out again blasts from the past burnout paradise is getting fucking ported to the switch
Starting point is 02:47:25 remastered yeah really june that's great this game's great in uh in june on the june 19th burnout paradise remastered is hitting the switch and uh it's been pretty quiet about what's going down with that yeah so no secret mario cars we've heard about so far who knows but yeah that's fucking rad that's an unexpected just like cool okay sure i wish more burnout games existed those games are so good it sucks though is that it's like 50 bucks on switch but it's like 20 bucks on the other platforms oh no because it came out so much later so that hasn't had time to drop the price i think
Starting point is 02:48:21 but it's still like what the fuck that sucks did you see the switch trailer for uh was it jump force they showed the switch trailer for jump force is hilarious because they give no fucks about how bad the framerate is it is it is dying i gotta find this the game is dying in the fucking trailer and they don't care like it's just showing you like a border that is the the console itself and then like the i'm looking at it right now just like cut jump into the middle of it somewhere it stutters to a fucking halt at points and they're like yeah that's that's it that's how it runs what you want this oh wow oh wow what what it's going like sub 10 in some of these shots real choppy it gets real choppy jump force switch
Starting point is 02:49:27 variable framerate up to 30 fps oh my god everything in that game is terrible and probably the weirdest thing is like uh you know totoroki got announced for it um his burn looks painted on because they're like walking back the hyper realistic art style but instead he just looks like shit compared to the others because a real burn would probably not look like a cool scar it would be horrible yeah god damn awful commit to the fucking realism assholes show us the bubbling of the flesh show us the the the the muscle and sinew underneath show us how awful a real burn would look not a cool anime burn commit you want it real you want them fighting in fucking time square show us the burn show us the ooze
Starting point is 02:50:32 he had to wipe the bus by the way that thing pussed up for a while assuredly oh yeah and think about jump force whenever you see i mean you you made fun of them a couple weeks ago where it's like oh what if zelda was made an unreal engine right nintendo hired this man it would look like fucking jump force one of the ugliest games i've ever seen in my life yeah well i don't get it those games are fan service games so why the fuck they make everyone look like i'm trying to think of other things like totoroki where if you converted it to real life it would immediately fall apart slash not convey the coolness you know
Starting point is 02:51:24 oh zuko it has the same thing in avatar and they fucking botch that if you he's got like a little scar it looks pretty burnt though it has different layers of coloring on it no i'm talking about in the live action okay okay did you like he's just got a little scar you want it you watch that i watched the theaters i watched the theaters because everyone's telling you swerving to the camera x right right right um and then and then i was like well i gotta go watch this show because that did you go see dragon ball evolution i did in theaters yeah okay so you you catch all of them so yeah here here's a fucking i send you a screenshot of zuko's horrible scar in the live action movie wow isn't that crazy it's like it's like he's got like
Starting point is 02:52:24 a little scar these fucking little part these fucking actors i tell you oh boy anyway i just like zuko's eye is supposed to be nearly permanently shut due to scar tissue on his eye you know like okay well hollywood actors man they don't want to yeah don't want to cover which is that's why it's like infinite like that's why every time you have a moment like um uh dread where dudes like nah fuck it mask who cares i'm dread face doesn't matter man does say you're like thank god man you know when you when you give the character it's due by not giving into the fucking like no you have to see me perform you know i mean listen i didn't i kind of i did not want it to happen in um i didn't want it to happen in the mandalorian
Starting point is 02:53:30 you know in the end uh it's like ah well whatever you know but like i do appreciate when somebody is like no i'm taking this role this role involves the mask and this is this is it you don't need to see my face it's okay the role is more important what's that kid's name from that 70s show uh tofer grace tofer grace is the worst one ever as venom he i don't think he speaks as venom more than once i do dude like i don't remember a single scene except for the one where they're falling and and fighting in the midair i don't yeah and he takes i he takes the mask off for every single every time he talks yeah i don't
Starting point is 02:54:22 fucking recall anything outside of that falling shot it's completely deleted that's fine that's fine yeah all right well anyway um jump force uh switch trailer is good times it's good times at least they're showing you what you're getting we're talking about at least they're we were talking about options yeah earlier so once you have the game you can tell how good the game is from like the options but before the game comes out nothing screams quality like a reveal trailer with like where the trailer drops to like 15 frames a second at least they're being honest about their products and they're saying this is what we have on sale i sell oranges if you want an orange i got oranges
Starting point is 02:55:22 right here and if you don't care about the bruising or the smell then buy one and if someone watches that trailer and says that looks great then they are welcome to purchase it right you want it you got it yeah if someone watches that trailer and goes cool then buy all things thank you for your money here is your goods i don't know man why don't you just make the game run better because it's on the switch why don't you turn it down a little bit or optimize it have you seen xenoblade chronicles because naruto's in time square bro hire this man nintendo sega i saw hire this man nintendo sega that's right do it
Starting point is 02:56:32 hey will you want hey you want to have a funny little retweet here here i got i'm sending you a twitter thing that is a comparison shot of two games on the switch xenoblade chronicles remastered and the other i can't believe xenoblade in pokemon sword and shield are on the same console one looks like a breathtaking masterpiece the other one looks like an early ps3 game hurts man i just retweeted it for everybody wants to see it it's like the fucking get it together fuckers get it together you know something funny about um ff7 remake is because of how gorgeous it is you notice its flaws way more oh boy do you every time a light is shining through a surface that it
Starting point is 02:57:24 should not shine through you're like you know man that zoom in on it the the ultimate is you'll have uh cloud and arith talking and they are the most immaculate 3d models ever and the light is going through their hair and landing on their bodies impeccably and then arith will turn and it'll zoom in on this flower on the ground and the flower is like a fucking jpeg from 1994 and it's so blurred and blocky that i mean it's it's not a jpeg it's three dimensional but it's just blurred the fuck out of like six polygons and it's blurred the oh my god the flat that flower moment happens like four or five times and it's hilarious every single time i will that game seems to have like a texture i will say that like when talking to rando NPCs
Starting point is 02:58:19 and then you get a closer look at them they definitely have the problem of not looking anywhere as much as as like the main characters look like people they you know they have they have that they they have we are from another world issue kind of thing like we come from a different game but they still have like freckles and weird little noses and some of them have like and yeah they have facial features where you go okay you look like a person you know like i can appreciate the level that of of person that you are even though you clearly look like you're from a different game uh right and i think the only other thing i was gonna talk that's a slow week this weekend not much but the only other thing i was gonna talk about is just uh the ongoing twists and turns
Starting point is 02:59:14 that is cooking mama cook star more twists more twists and turns what's the last you heard of the story uh the last i heard is that uh the game got fucking delisted okay so got killed so it started as a story about a game that might be using your switch to mine for cryptocurrency but it wasn't but it wasn't it was actually just an argument between rights holders and the developers yada yada and then uh they the the developer came uh excuse me the the license holder came out first and put out their big statement basically saying look here is the bottom line uh we did not approve the quality of the game that they created we felt that this was not um up to par with cooking mama standards and when we got the game we saw it and said this is this
Starting point is 03:00:19 is not approved for release so don't release it don't that's don't release our call to make and we did and we did not uh agree to it the developer then counter retorted with uh a letter saying an excuse me a prescott whatever it was you know announcement saying we signed a contract based on a game design with the license holders for a specific type of game with specific features and all these design elements the game we delivered is exactly to the specifications of that contract thus we are not legally uh breaching anything by releasing this game as is because we have delivered upon the exact features as specified by that contract so this is great they are saying that we have done our end of the deal and we are releasing what they agreed we would release
Starting point is 03:01:20 and uh the license holder saying no but the game is shit though and then they're saying we're looking into legal action but who knows i'm glad this is good i love this it's an issue of quality control and if their contract did specify that they get a final approval on release then there's nothing else to say get fucked but if it didn't but if it didn't then they should have gotten better bottom bottom is is it says you don't gotta check then too bad you know now i mean it'd be really weird if they did not put in something saying that hey we have to approve of the game you're putting out there because if we people make mistakes on all sorts of no shit certainly if they delivered a game that is
Starting point is 03:02:18 exactly as specified by the contract however the first thing you are greeted with is a large hairy penis screenshot upon pressing the start button you are sent you are sent a dick pic and it is burnt into your monitor into your it's your switch screen you know what i call this you know what i call this i call this um it's not breaching contract i call this airbud legalese it's nothing in the rules says dog can't play basketball nothing in the rules saying i can't force a dick pic at the at the player on the press start there you go cooking mama cook star here's a dick which mode do you want to play too late
Starting point is 03:03:18 you've seen it would you like a tutorial is this your first time playing cook star at the bottom at the like if you like at the bottom of the menu underneath at the last option is make the dick bigger yeah man it's it all comes down to the fine the fine print that all comes down to the fine print and you know what that's for them to sort out not the not the not the consumer so pretty much i would i would love to see them make a horrible mistake and be like oh crap we didn't tell them we need a final approval and then they go crazy and then they can make any fucking cooking mama game they want as long as you know it doesn't defy nintendo compliance which unfortunately
Starting point is 03:04:11 need the dicks to defy nintendo compliance what if it's like a hidden yeah like it what if it's like um uh like like game there with the big sausage on it there's there's that game where um it's the big 360 game and there's a girl eating a giant sausage and it's like steamy oh man i don't know it's like a big steamy sausage with like fucking sweat and veins on it sweat and veins on the sausage you're saying to me there's a game on the 360 it's a big box what game is that i don't remember but um min had a steamy sausage man had a copy of it and uh james small was pushing it for a while and it was a let i think it was a limited edition and it was like anime girls and it was just full-on fucking they weren't even pretending
Starting point is 03:05:05 yeah that's great yep on the 360 i don't remember the name of the game but uh record of agarist war thank you very much folks wait really record of agarist that record of agarist war i'm looking to box 360 i don't see a girl eating a big old way is that on the fancy box it is on the limited edition box i don't see a saw oh there it is i see it if you look at the big special edition box you got a zoom in on the side and you see she's bite she's got the big old sausage big old sausage right underneath this is a girl who's bending over and you're looking over and looking up your skirt as you are really imagined it and put it on google here it is
Starting point is 03:06:09 i'm literally looking at it right now so yeah uh it's that sausage has got the grid marks it's got the sweat it's got the lighting the sausage has higher texture integrity than the anime girl who's putting it in her mouth and she's sweating well we gotta really focus on what's i'm sweating trying to fit it in her mouth by the way that's tough sometimes it's tough so like i said it's kind of like that shout outs to anybody who didn't know about record of agarist war isn't that like a strategy game i mean you look at the normal covers of the game and there's a like big anime night generic anime yeah a bunch of waifus and whatever
Starting point is 03:07:10 i don't get it yeah that's a turn-based grid-based strategy game the fuck this shit all right this is dicks doesn't say you couldn't have dicks in it should have worked it out with the license holder i guess well anyway um let's take some letters hey can you give me a five minutes i'm gonna use the washroom before we hit the light all right i'll be back in a momentary okay hey man what's the deal with emails well uh if you have one you can send it into castle super beast mail at gmail.com wow and uh i could officially give a full-on uh congratulations to
Starting point is 03:08:09 uh any of you uh fucking shitasses who used the email for whatever stupid sign-up purposes for bullshit because now the spam has literally made it like like there's so much spam coming in that it's all it's starting to rival the number of messages coming in making it a nightmare to pull emails in so fucking sick yeah so yeah that's great it was always a problem you know ever since the old days that was a thing but all it takes any uh any public-facing email really yeah but just like if don't be that jerk that's just like i have to put in an email and i don't have one i don't know i'll just grab this like fill in a fake one of whatever don't use this one like don't be a shit man it's just it just makes it annoying for no reason it doesn't it literally
Starting point is 03:09:02 does nothing but it's like all right well i mean if you had read my email you know so like yeah it's now it's now becoming like burdensome to have to fucking filter out all this trash because it's just it's just at that level and usually there's like one or two and you're like not one or two there's always been a ton but it's never been to the point where it's rivaling the amount of actual questions and it's making me hard it's making it harder to get the actual questions so people are bored they're trying to get their their thrills somehow well you know as it gets harder and more annoying to grab these questions like i don't know what to tell you like i'm i'm i'm gonna parse through it and dig but like it's just it's a stupid thing that that you
Starting point is 03:09:44 know y'all can y'all y'all can be can cannot do that so um yes okay uh uh before that let me just verify something let's just deal with emails yes we're aware that mick gordon did not mix the doom eternal soundtrack and then in fact it is mixed into garbage we are aware yeah this is what i'm this is what i'm looking at right now mick gordon use mick gordon disapproves of doom eternal's ost release but yeah they they they crushed it and mixed it terribly bethesda has ruined the epic metal doom's eternal soundtrack
Starting point is 03:10:39 they fucked it up so ironically enough like the rips from the game are likely going to be higher quality than the official soundtrack well that's stupid that's an easy sure is that's an easily avoidable problem don't let somebody who is not the guy who made the music handle the the mix pretty much or have like a dedicated professional very good mixer you know work with the guy who made the music okay so uh shoutouts to high quality rips for now being the way to listen to the doom eternal soundtrack uh rip and tear until it's done man silva gunner holding it down all right so anyways emails email time this is the sound of you re writing an email
Starting point is 03:11:45 no was sent what good email do we have today hello x soldier woolly and phantom thief pat i'm august i'll live with this jrpgs are very hot right now played a lot of them in my days including some lesser known series such as shadow hearts wild arms romancing syga and many others do you have an underappreciated or unknown jrpg game or series that you like stay safe and healthy i mean you just mentioned a bunch of them which i wouldn't call those obscure because i feel like i've hung out with people that uh mentioned them a lot no they're obscure you just hang out with people yeah i guess i guess i guess and this kind of you know what you know what to be perfectly honest so this brings to mind a recent uh tweet that uh die roquetto shoutouts to die roquetto and
Starting point is 03:12:41 and mr feels wild ride out there holding it down with quality tweets but uh die roquetto put out a tweet that was just basically something to the effect of hey yo guys what are some old uh so what are some old rpgs SNES and ps1 era i just want to make a list and i was like yeah okay and then you just saw the list and i'm like oh yeah that's all the shit that like everyone that i hung out with used to talk about all the time and it's just like okay here we go wild arms one and two star ocean two grandia thousand arms lunar silver star story and eternal blue complete guardians crusade legend of legia legend of manna saga frontier one and two brave fencer musashi alundra vanguard bandits robo trek bahamut lagoon breath of fire one to four
Starting point is 03:13:30 luffy a two retranslation patch front mission three sweet code and two vagrant story vandal hearts live alive terra nigma god growth or growth or devolution heed the call to awaken treasure of roe dress legend of jagoon illusion of gaia valkyrie profile romancing saga uh grand stream saga thousand arms tactics ogre shin megami tense one and two i never in my life thought that i would ever hear you say the phrase grand stream saga as far as i can tell i'm the only person that's ever played that game um i'm gonna add one that's a ds game so it's a little later and you can emulate the 3ds version with perfect compatibility uh i'm a big fan of radiant historia that game's great cool and saga frontier one sucks by the way just saying
Starting point is 03:14:35 should i suck should i say the thing what do you want to say the thing which is the thing lost odyssey oh yeah totally yeah that game's great yeah reset the clock lost lost that game's trapped on the 360 why is there no nothing version come on give me something i want to say it's because mist walker walked walked into the mist still exists it's because mist walker walked into the mist it's sad i also noticed blue dragon was not on that list and it should not be hmm well that's also not a playstation one or snes era but yeah eternal sonata was in the office i remember watching that get tested for a while true yep end of eternity it was pretty
Starting point is 03:15:40 but the plot was so fucking stupid show pay oh it's show pay's death bed oh so none of the games matter it's just a dream like all right last remnant yeah that thing had a cool cover lucia 2 i liked lucia 2's ability to select that the monsters are on the map i like that you can see the monsters so part of lucia 2 that's just aggressively broken there's like a single map in the game that's just glitched out to fuck because it was coded bad i just remember that feeling of like oh the battles aren't random i can see them coming you can't avoid them yes but i i do enjoy that you know hmm um well anyway
Starting point is 03:16:30 here we got one coming in from um shan says dear woolly and mine goblins started playing vermin tied to with some friends and our session wrapped up i visited the subreddit only to be met with the sentiment that if you're not playing on the hardest difficulty you're not playing the real game i was already bummed by this thought process by payday 2 where unless you play on one down death wish then why bother what's your opinion on anything below the top tier being thought of as the tutorial there are the dozens of hours i spend playing and enjoying the game on normal wasted time should i just suck it up you're truly shan the people who hang out on that subreddit are playing that game as their online game of choice every single day so to them
Starting point is 03:17:14 those modes are boring as piss because they have they have wrung out every possible iota of enjoyment out of everything other than the most bleeding edge super difficult content you see it in mmo's constantly where there there's an entire genre of person who raid savage or like ultimate or whatever and they're just like man is these fucking care bear cash i can't believe it oh i'm doing my dailies i call that a sub genre yeah uh it's it's uh fuck them they're awful yeah no um difficulty elitism is stupid at the same time um a an intended and when uh when a when a developer creates an intended experience that is uh like very very uh highly highly detailed and has a lot of attention to detail there's something to be
Starting point is 03:18:12 said about like i love that you know we love that in devil may cry you start easy and you work your way up right you practice if that game started on dmd that like that those no one would care about those at all you know like you have to work your way up it's you got to practice your combos and then you get better and better and then as you do you are met with you want something to rise up to yeah so i think that's totally that's totally fine you know um if the game um and you know the and then there's the there's the things where like sometimes the naming conventions are different like like remember god hands right where like normal is hard and and hard is god and all that shit gets modeled around but at the end of the day you really just like if you're playing especially
Starting point is 03:18:58 if it's a game that's like pve you know or whatever it's like you're just you're playing for yourself man like if you're enjoying it and that's how you want to play it then like yeah don't let people like shit on you about that um and i guess there's no way to talk about this with about without immediately going into soul's discussion right i actually have a slightly more uh interesting and less overused discussion which is pathologic to pathologic to shift with no difficulty selection whatsoever it was then later patched in to have slightly easier difficulties however when you go to the slider it literally says don't use this the game is meant to be brutal and stressful and upsetting and it's like um okay like it's it's super bizarre like it is
Starting point is 03:19:57 is the equivalent of if the game starts on dmd never forget and it literally allows you to turn it back to hard never forget alien soldier there are two settings super easy and super hard yeah and that's it that is all uh yes so some games do that you know some games don't have difficulty settings they're just built the way they are and that's on the dev dev can do that dev can make the game however they want you don't have to force them to make it a certain way but if there are options and they are available then you should not feel shame or bad if you want to play on them yeah like like everyone says dark souls needs an easy mode the fact that that game has a leveling system of any kind means that it has a built-in easy mode you just have to work a little bit to
Starting point is 03:20:54 unlock it the only reason why um roses are red violets are delectable you're not worthy as my opponent easy now is now selectable is a big burn on on us on you and i these games 10 times we should never have to see that so for for uh we play a lot of devil may cry so that's like lol ha ha you loser you fucking oops you know you know better like well i haven't i haven't played dmc three in like nine years so it's like difficulty john's the f1 racer double parks his car lol you know uh so yeah it's just it's just that but like for whatever purpose if you're playing something and you know you pick the the appropriate difficulty then that's fine in fact i we talked about options earlier uh one of the coolest games when it comes to difficulty is um way of the pacifist
Starting point is 03:21:59 because way of the pacifist has two settings one changes uh how the enemies react to you one changes like enemy behavior and the other changes your uh ability to make mistakes and they're separate settings from each other you know and like you can you can uh uh make it so that like the the you could you you you still make the same number of mistakes but the enemy rhythm doesn't change it stays where it's at and you can still get the challenge from that or not or whatever so and it lets you move both of those things around to create the perfect custom difficulty you like it was pretty cool um that you can tweak all those individual things and also even if you don't let the the the if you don't let the player tweak things like that which you know it's awesome
Starting point is 03:22:53 when you do but if you don't do that then it's nice when you tell people what each setting changes yeah it's nice when you tell them uh you know hey enemies hit harder uh you can't heal as much saves are one and done or not at all i think one of the better uh difficulty modes i've ever encountered was actually in a really old game and i think it's silent hill two onwards in which there's action difficulty and puzzle difficulty and there are five different sets of every puzzle in the game that have different amounts of clues different solutions etc and the highest level ones are fucking impossible i don't know how anyone is supposed to actually complete them they give you shit all for hints and it's like fucking i hope you know your shakespeare
Starting point is 03:23:52 and for one of them in the bookstore that i remember and it's like it's totally absurd it's totally absurd uh but hey it's there for you if you want super super super hard boss uh puzzles and piss easy action you know uh have you seen the classic mode of ff7 remake yeah what's that like it's fucking hilarious because it sounds from the description as it sounds like it's like the fight the bottom the battles are automatic you just wait for atb so what it is is that um you have easy mode which is just much easier which i put on to grind some shit out and then for and didn't realize that's a system level setting and was playing a little bit of my stream on easy mode and thought i was doing really well until
Starting point is 03:24:41 somebody asked me to check it and i was like ah boo i'm dumb but uh classic is easy mode system levels like so what happened is because i had to re-record the shit yeah all right i loaded up and re-recorded it on easy so i could go through super fast and then later i loaded up my later save but the the difficulty selector is not in the save game it's a system save oh so when i loaded my later save it reset to that yeah yeah yeah okay gotcha and i was like i was genuinely confused when i encountered that but classic is easy mode so like much much more damage for you much less damage for them uh but your character your the character that you play as their ai is turned on okay as if you weren't controlling it yes and if you want to run around
Starting point is 03:25:33 and still do stuff you can but that's the main difference so you kind of run out of the way of certain attacks if they're charging up yeah and then otherwise yeah your character does the thing where they walk forward blocking a lot will they cast spells on their own at all no okay you have to do all the atbs no nobody uses an atb ever on their own okay okay okay it sounds hey dude you hear about hard mode uh no ff7 has a unlockable hard mode really and it is lit it is super good really uh the game the game has a static level so it assumes you're going in at the cap and everything else to a core no there's no scale it's just everything is the cap but i but i mean but every enemy gets set to a certain point pretty much they all get set to level 50 and then the
Starting point is 03:26:30 game and then you just run with that yeah and oh interesting you cannot and items are turned off entirely and and you don't regenerate mp at benches and persona and enemies get new attacks and there are more encounters that's rad that's rad that's super rad they did that work that's super rad that's cool okay mp regeneration is that that's that's one of those bits and persona that fucking i'm like oh my god i hate this spells are nerfed spells are nerfed as a problem solver okay so you got to rely mostly on abilities huh yeah can't exploit hope you have chakra and pray oh man hmm and there are super bosses that are only available in hard mode okay but you can still
Starting point is 03:27:34 run around and slash boxes open and get your mp back yeah but that's pretty much the only way you can get the jesus or grind that and in battle regeneration grind for ethers out of out of battle no willy items are off in battle all items are always off no matter what god damn okay yes okay okay items are god not just in not just in game okay yeah i thought it was in battle yeah yeah people people were like no items might as well not exist whoa i so level up that revive materia yeah that doesn't really uh i'm just thinking there's no there's the there's you can play the game without ever using them so yeah that makes sense that's really hard that's really hard excited to go through it again i'm super excited that's
Starting point is 03:28:28 very that sounds very difficult um some enemies are gonna be fucks anyway yeah oh yeah uh i was gonna just say that um i was talking about way of the pacifist earlier it's four different sliders that the game gives you for difficulty setting the first one is enemy strength the second one is encounters the third one is combo mastery and the fourth one is resourcefulness so you can tweak all four of these to customize the type of experience you want to get you know um that's cool man rad really really really good yeah so anyway uh all right let's take this one here oh and yeah the follow-up was uh what do you feel how do you feel about games where they
Starting point is 03:29:28 name the real game hard whereas normal is like a fake difficulty of easy or something like that i think that uh i think that halo did the best of any game ever and that is it's what was it something what are the first two i fucking forget but the third one is heroic and the fourth one is legendary and when you mouse over heroic it goes this is the intended difficulty from the development team this is the best way to play halo that's it it doesn't matter what words you call it whether you say give me a story or give me deus x uh as long as you give a descriptor of it and you tell people what's happening in it then if it says fucking nonsense gibberish and it says this is the intended experience then you go cool that's what i'm going for so uh like
Starting point is 03:30:17 doom uh it's fairly obvious that normal is a little too easy yeah and that ultraviolence is probably what they wanted you to go for in some cases the design or like the changes like actually fuck up the um the the design uh one of the best ones i can think of is ikaruga has a hard mode but the hard mode fucks up the game's design because it has it's just too much it sends back bullets of the opposite color whenever you destroy something and there are sequences of this game that are like musical in their design of how you swap colors and absorb things and like it just it fucks up that flow so much that no one who plays for points really considers that you know like they're like no the intent like all the design shows itself in the normal mode and then this
Starting point is 03:31:18 kind of just adds a random factor that is like you know way less way less interesting because it's a lot less like not just less fun but it's like you can see where it's like they didn't mean for that bullet to be there in this sequence you know so um yeah yeah there there are a lot of games in which um there's a lot of games in which the higher difficulty mode is probably a lot to ask of people who are not familiar but it is a more enjoyable way to play the game and maybe on like replay right so evil within is an interesting one where uh like reasonable to hardcore mode is a genuinely more enjoyable way to play that game because enemies just don't they're not as easy to stun basically so you have to actually deal with them a little more often um whereas evil within
Starting point is 03:32:18 two uh i tried it on the heart of dickbilties and it just felt like enemies could see you for much further away and uh playing well was more about cheesing the system than actually playing it and i felt like miserable playing through it um and they changed between one and two the yeah that's i i feel like uh one of the weird ones that comes to mind is i'm trying to remember the details of it but uh you ever play mega man zero yeah mega man zero had a fucked continue system and difficulty don't remember it was like it was some bullshit where usually mega man you got your lives got your attempts and that's all there is to it and yeah that makes sense and mega man had like z mega man zero was like
Starting point is 03:33:15 you had the overworld and you had like three continues or something and then like when those are gone like that's that's it like your whole it was something super brutal about it i it's been so long um wait really like for the whole game it was it was like yeah you get three retries on a save file and then reset to the start yeah get the yeah yeah it was crazy it was really stupid with that you get a game over and then you're fucking just done um in that and uh furthermore you get these cyber elves which were like your little like your little temporary buffs and power ups and abilities but they were one use only for the entire game so you have like these consumables it's the ultimate info you want to talk mind goblins right cyber elves and mega man zero literally created a little
Starting point is 03:34:20 like um little like there's a little tetris almost like puzzle on your pause screen of all the little options you can get all these little elves that do things and as soon as you use them they're gone forever so they're one and done and then they die and then that thing gets grayed out forever so as you collect these abilities if you don't it's all the all the the downsides of like using consumables on a dark souls run yeah except you only have one try one consumable once and you cannot get it back that's awful there's no way to get it back on that save you're done restart the game so that's just under what circumstance is it ever the correct time to use any of these unless it's the last fight of the game never it was the worst dude it was the absolute worst i fucking hated it yeah yeah yeah
Starting point is 03:35:16 yeah and on top of that like i said if they they literally gray out on your on your select screen you know i feel like mega man x3 like when you switch to zero it was similarly like you know like if he dies then he's gone so you get like so don't use him you can use him but just don't die with him yeah but you know it's the first time i'm playing the game so i'm gonna die well well yeah so you know mega man zero one like just fucking went it went insane with that shit um and i feel like there's another aspect to the difficulty that i'm forgetting to that was extra a little like go fuck yourself but uh yeah so the mega man zero collection adds a save assist
Starting point is 03:36:03 feature to fix here we go here we go i found a post sorry sorry uh what were you gonna say i was just gonna say like i feel like it was gonna be a little in depth so you go ahead and hit the services first okay uh yeah no mission redo right right so the big issue with the old zero games is they're stupidly hard to the point where live system will actively annoy you or sabotage you in zero one ranks are heavily affected by deaths to the point where getting a good rank after a death is basically impossible uh basically basically these are now effectively gone with the save assistant to the games uh which they added um right there's a ranking system that gets fucked over if you have to retry and you don't one shot a mission and oh my god and come on and uh um
Starting point is 03:36:48 in and then you try missions and then you get locked out of them like you tried and failed fuck you that mission's failed forever oh my god it was so crazy it was like what are you doing with this system you know they really wanted to make um like a new game in a new world and just feel completely different and obviously they succeeded in making like a whole you know like like you're running around a zero but like the world itself is like all connected you can just walk all the way over to the the boss area you know if you want they're all a part of a giant 2d map but um using character cyber elves hurts your rankings as well you will miss mechanics if you suck there's some shit where you have to grind out doing certain attacks a certain amount of times to
Starting point is 03:37:34 level up the weapons too but some weapons are obviously better than others so you're just gonna want to use the better weapons and level those up and not use the shittier weapons so it sounds like shit so then you gotta take a shittier weapon and go out to the area and just farm using that same thing killing things with the shitty weapon to level like they tried so hard to make it so different and it just ended up with all these dumb little things when you're like couldn't you just make me pick a boss and go to a stage and fight the boss no shut up it's different you gotta grind but don't fail to speed run on every level then s rank everything never die ever so there's a if you don't speed right your score is gonna drop there's a part of difficulty
Starting point is 03:38:21 that we barely touched on because it's somewhat rare but i look at games like xcom which offer the iron man mode yes and i think iron man is super cool but then i think back to every game i've ever played that has an iron man mode i have had characters get fucking killed by bugs every single game like a pillars of eternity uh pillars of eternity to fucking xcom xcom 2 etc i've had i have had characters like get shot through items they shouldn't get shot or spells hit in the wrong place and shit like that and just like ate shit to a grow it's like can't can't deal with it yeah i mean but that's what you turn the turn that's why you press the button right that's why
Starting point is 03:39:18 you turn it on after all like people are people are saying like bugs in quotation marks and it's like i vividly remember a fantastic clip that you and me and we're part of of our character's gun through a sectoid's face yep and they turn it away to miss and it's like and that was because of a bug that was because they were we were not correctly getting a flanking bonus because of something to do with the corner yeah no there's these turns when you play into the breach on hard there's these turns where you're like okay i'm using the ice mech team and one of these things freezes itself every time it uses its ability right and because we're on hard uh there are now like four vex spawn points and
Starting point is 03:40:22 like five bugs on the field but you have to somehow make sure that none of the buildings get hurt or none of your fucking mechs get hurt and one of your things is frozen and you're like come on hard mode like how is that even possible i have two units not three i have two units to stop five bugs and four spawn points go how is it even possible it is not is the answer it is not you know hope that your building protection percentage is high or take the damage on your mechs but uh yeah that that game has these moments where you're like this is this turn cannot be done you know and if every once in a while it'll have a moment almost where it like it realizes where it's set up too much bullshit because it's like you only get like three units and then it'll have like four start to
Starting point is 03:41:20 attack and the fifth one will just be like i'm not attacking this turn no i'm good i'm just gonna yeah and you never know which one it'll happen with you know but every once in a while it'll just be like okay yeah there's four on the field i'll just not attack you know but you just you see these things set up and you just let you're like this is this this is done this is out one bad turn and we're fucked god forbid you're trying to um uh complete an objective like protect the train you know or stop the power plant from blowing up god forbid all right uh quick one here from let's see josh says hey bunk madden and patrick mcnulty
Starting point is 03:42:10 i used my quarantine i'll take it to finally binge the wire i now hey fucking love the wire talk more about the wire ps found out that michael b jordan played wallace after recently watching creed too there you go the wire is amazing that was his start wasn't it the wire is amazing wires great you should all you all have time to binge the wire it's a very big i know you all have time this is this is this is the time to go binge the wire or the sopranos you can go you can go get one of those shows under your belt and not regret it you will not regret it let's get shit wire is great i like the wire yeah yeah where's wallace
Starting point is 03:42:51 man he's instigating a race war in black panther he's also he's also the human human torch he's also apollo creed's son uh dear man who dresses like his mom's kitchen wallpaper and spheroid cube herald as pat said earlier half life has been a first and foremost game series that serves as a technical showcase however there's quite a few series like that crisis star fox and so on how would you say that the various tech benchmark games hold up against each other thanks from the the drake hey drake i think crisis i would one holds up like shit well apples and oranges in the sense that i'm not i don't want to compare them against each other
Starting point is 03:43:36 and because like you know um like the fuck they're different things entirely i feel like every mario game is uh or every major mario release you can tell the ones that are the big ones are like they're supposed to be the nintendo benchmarks um um yeah the reason why they won't make star fox is because they have nothing to show off right they don't want to just make one for the sake of the franchise which is like really stupid because it's awesome uh crisis one holds up like shit because it's cpu shit is poorly optimized have those what about those super settings remember the super settings for the future yeah did that ever work i don't know warhead apparently fixes that shit but
Starting point is 03:44:21 as a result of not being able to play crisis one that gave me a bad taste i was like ah fuck crisis don't care star fox out of out of the tech games i'd probably see the half-life games probably hold up the best because the tech was great but the games are also incredible pre-source engine um how was the physics stuff what physics there was none right so none so every time there was like wires unplugging from a wall and plugging it into there weren't okay that mechanic didn't exist was it just a button on a wall sure was press the button okay yeah so half-life like it half-life is so old
Starting point is 03:45:10 that it's claimed to fame was it was the first pc game that used scripting a lot so the fact that events occurred at all was like mind blowing as you walk past a threshold like it is it is difficult to even properly understand how fucking primitive games were right before half-life one came out were grenades still bullshit yeah okay he thinks sure we're fucking bullshit yeah the worst grenades ever or best depending on what you're looking for if you like a grenade that has an explosion and then a hurt box that extends five times beyond that explosion well here's the problem that's how grenades work i know i know i know it's not the fucking boom it's the shrapnel
Starting point is 03:46:02 yeah i know i totally know but from a visual perspective a video game perspective the fire is the hurt and if the fire doesn't touch then no hurt super duper true it's it's it's totally exactly it yeah blast radius all right well apparently air pushing up against your body does weird stuff to your inner goo hmm no fire no hurt that's how it feels anyway if you step on a landmine and then you jump really fast so that the fire doesn't touch you you'll be good you'll be fine you're good that is not real advice don't don't don't don't okay well well i hear you but also that correction implies that someone within listening uh of this is capable of stepping on a landmine in their immediate area every time
Starting point is 03:47:07 i think about landmines you don't want to think about end of bad boys too don't remember oh you don't remember yeah they shoot the bad guy and he falls backward and lands on a landmine and he gets exploded and his like torso lands between them okay and then they realize that oh man there's landmines everywhere uh every time i think of landmines i think of uh front towards enemy then frank castle i'm doing fucking punisher max shit front like like insanely dangerous things that have like completely like instructions for babies on them is terrifying to me like aim away from person aim towards enemy it like fuck if you're listening to this podcast and there are active landmines within a one mile radius of you let me know
Starting point is 03:48:08 i'm i'm curious to know if there is an active minefield somewhere near you i literally saw somebody in this chat go there are mines in my area man oh god fuck i live in detroit what wait what well you know how you know how it is wait hold on wait like at what point don't you remember when did that happen a couple years ago i know when they didn't talk too much about when the when it when when the law pulled out did landmines start coming in yeah because that's a whole other like street landmines i didn't think we were there yet oh yeah no no the detroit landmines been there for a bit yeah that's real i was not aware it's it's not real okay detroit detroit's not even a real place okay and last one here coming in from tim says yo
Starting point is 03:49:12 uh excuse me yo wool guy and patsabella uh gust horn blend here i often bounce back forth back and forth between final fantasy 14 and world of warcraft from time to time both with their big pros and bigger cons to my delight wow appears to finally have started stealing quality quality of life features from ff 14 like the auction house ui long enough level sinking main scenario quest adventure structure shadow land bringers etc uh while i feel which i feel have drastically improved the game do you have any competing game series that you wish would really just steal more from each other i think yes so okay i it is a little bit obvious because we just spent the beginning of this podcast talking about something i always talk about which is fighting
Starting point is 03:50:06 it's the obvious answer you've heard us say it for years so obviously that that is you know duh so let's go for the non obvious answer there um i think that uh i think character action games can learn from each other i would love uh bayonetta to uh adopt the proud souls system oh yeah that's a good system from dmc4 i think that'd be great i would love for uh bayonetta to adopt the uh the try button in bayo 3 you know to see exactly what a move is before you commit to it because you know most of us are going to try to get all moves before the end of the lp or or uh you know whatever but i want to make sure that you can know what you're going to like first what you should prioritize you know uh proud souls lets you refund the what a proud
Starting point is 03:51:07 sold is in dmc4 specifically is lets you buy a move and if you don't like the move you can refund it and spend it on a different move to try it out i like that i like being able to see what moves i like and what abilities i like and what i don't like and know for sure try to come up with something and i'm having trouble i'll be honest i wish more honestly it's kind of redundant but i wish more games had more options commiserate with stuff that i see in like reasonable and doom eternal like just shit tons doom is doom eternal is like the gold standard there are like 10 different colorblind options oh yeah incredible yeah apex had some great colorblind options yeah they had like five or four now i'm not colorblind despite what many of you may think
Starting point is 03:52:03 but for those of you who are colorblind as shit i assume you all appreciate that uh i think every character action game should steal the void i think yeah the void's good practice room is absolutely awesome and perfect and should exist mm-hmm i like a fast forward on any rpg that has random battles like once one of the one of the best things fast forward or earthbound level stomp on the overworld one of the best things the gold uh not golden christ i keep doing that royal added is uh rgy's old uh move that would just instant delete battles when you ambush people if you're high enough level uh that has been changed to give you the experience and persona and money out of it
Starting point is 03:52:57 yeah and it's like good i'm high enough level that this shit's a joke why do i even need to to do it show me your true form dead fuck off um yeah yeah stomping on the overworld and over brand in earthbound is is is cool um that's a nice one uh and then the the fast forward feature if you do end up in the fight of course yep that's quality of life that's good yeah totally totally totally and i don't know if there's any like you just left field genre ones um if i look at my steam list i bet you know what reminds me of pillars of attorney one came out and only the really important mainline story dialogue in that game was voiced and then they were like when i asked about it they're like
Starting point is 03:53:50 dude that's so expensive and ridiculous to do that that's dumb come on what do you what do you take us for and then divinity original sin two came out which has way more dialogue and every single line of dialogue is voiced and they were like yeah we just did it and then pillars two came out and every single line of dialogue is voiced and it's just like mm-hmm uh-huh yes i brought it up last week and it's relevant in this question so i'll say it again the timer that pauses in ff7 r yeah that's a good one is the top of the list top of the list i recently saw that for the first time i was like very impressed so good oh i have one every single game that has uh gear progression and stats needs to have some kind of glamour transmog item make it look like a different item
Starting point is 03:54:57 monster hunter their next uh their next update comes with a couple monsters is going to finally for the first time ever have the official ability to change the look of your weapon to a different weapon yeah people which is like the biggest deal that's because that's the one thing i was fucking piss babying about you know uh back i mean that's going to be end game so you're still gonna piss baby but i just think the game would be really cool if you can do that that'd be great that'd be great uh you know it's like come on uh nobody wants to look like the best best hunter in the world but they're a slapdash bunch of shit um okay okay how about this would you like to buy the demon's edge yes do you want to sell
Starting point is 03:55:56 your katana yes would you like to equip the demon's edge yes done thanks appreciate it very very helpful simple just do it right here we're in the shop you know i'm gonna do this you know i'm just gonna sell it instantly you know this is what's happening you know what i want my money to do i'm replacing the thing i'm holding take what i'm holding in dokapon kingdom it even shows you the discount yeah it goes that's cool okay we're gonna sell you this and we're gonna subtract the cost of the thing you're holding because you don't even have a you don't have to switch between them you have the you you wear one you know so it's like yeah do you want to sell it yeah of course you do you want to put this on right now fuck yeah done okay yeah that's a good one that's a good one
Starting point is 03:56:51 make shopping make shopping easier minimize minimize that time and you know sorting options is always nice and putting little highlights next to items that you've not you've haven't examined yet and things like that you know we that all of that all of that all right so uh that'll do it and we're gonna have that'll do it for them their emails there so uh hey once again you want to check our stuff out check out woolly versus twitch and youtube woolly wills on twitter you might like what's going on um we got a new lp starting this week to uh switch off between dokapon sessions with so we're going to be basically alternating between new lp and dokapon uh for the time being so look forward to that starting on tuesday all right yeah you come on down to twitch.tv slash pat stairs
Starting point is 03:57:48 at you can check out some ff7 some pp5 royal and also me and me and peach is the live old bicker while this adorable baby cat is right here beep beep beep beep beep good baby uh we still got some ff7 shit to talk about right yes we do so we're going to talk about that in the spoiler cast part two this is uh up to chapter 14 ending slash beginning of chapter 15 that's correct and that spoiler cast starts in five four three two one time to close chat i can't see you guys anymore get the fuck out of my face ah so um games great i love it uh a minor point that i want to point out which is um clouds dealing with tifa finding him in drag is better than i could have ever imagined going yes i know nailed it moving on wow he knows he's killing it he knows he does yes like like
Starting point is 03:58:57 so you were wondering as you were always you were wondering i was wondering how are they going to handle that scene and they clasped it up they clasped it up you know they andrea is a is a significant improvement over bubby right um and they just turned the whole thing into a single moment as opposed to a multi-part quest of getting the dress getting the wig getting all the parts of it the entire well actually wolves it is a multi-part quest it's just hidden from you there sure sure but uh it is entirely done in the form of like one moment on stage in a very uh ruPaul's drag race kind of where where did where did cloud learn how to dance so at first in the practice run when he's using his fighting to figure it out i'm like yeah that
Starting point is 03:59:49 makes sense he's swinging the sword around and he's like i can sword to the rhythm because that's me but then later on he just adapts the moves and starts dancing like a fucking member of uh of uh bts i've trooper whatever bts and i'm like all right there it is now you're doing what your hair says you should be able to do pretty much yeah so that's a that would that was a a great little improvement it's like it's like you know reno can dance look at reno yeah the thing we really got to talk about was the bullet point that i walked away from my stream with the other day which was going up to that plate and seeing ghosts just physically attacking people to make sure that they die and then failing to kill good old wedge flat out wedge eats shit the same way
Starting point is 04:00:50 so yeah i don't know if you remember what it looked like in the original yeah i do but he eats shit from the top top of the tower splats to the bottom gets a few words out dunski right like he is dead man he is dead this time around grappling hook manages to soften the blow cuts the fall into two falls basically and then he is then later able to fucking be okay because they pick him up right and he's like he's he's unconscious but he's all right then later it's like nah you're going to to get your cats or whatever get the fuck back in you're not allowed to live says the retcon goes and i'm like oh no he's gonna he's gonna get it final destination is like no wedge you're supposed to die but then you go underground magically clears a path and the cats must have dragged him down
Starting point is 04:01:48 there or some shit and you're like oh and it's the underground research lab that was mentioned earlier in the game and was vaguely hinted at in some compilation of ff7 stuff in which you fight some maco reactor soldier reject freakazoids and you see some bodies and some vials and i'm like i know exactly what this location is called this location is called deep ground are you familiar with deep ground no deep ground is a shinra occupation force made out of soldiers and soldier rejects that was intended to come up post cataclysmic disaster to like re acquire shinra's hold on the planet deep ground are the antagonists of one final fantasy seven dirge of cerberus and then right when you're about to walk into the tubes where the people that you fight in deep
Starting point is 04:02:53 ground are yeah the retcon gross go no no no no no no no no you can't be here that sequel shit okay so that room with the tubes was straight up dirge of cerberus is where like the the named antagonists characters from deep ground would be in dirge of cerberus yeah okay in the back okay okay and it's like okay that's not supposed to happen that's wrong it also canonizes that well i don't know how much you've been paying attention but there's a lot of stuff that gets tanninized in that game there's there's ads for a bonora white apples in the reactor right the which are the dumb apples from the crisis corp the crisis core ads yeah um when you look at the description of the buster sword it says that it's a legendary sword that has inherited
Starting point is 04:03:48 the will of those who fight yes which implies something if you're cloud but if you know the deal you're like oh no that it's actually about ngl exactly yeah yeah yeah yeah so uh yeah no that there's there's a lot going on like just under the surface and one of the things that i'm noticing is i'm going through the games is like we discover in the fight against them with jesse is that the ghosts are tangible to some degree when they want to be you you can hit them with stuff when they want if they basically if they want you to if they want to stop you they have to be pseudo tangible it seems they they they become corporeal for those moments and then otherwise they just swarm you're you're getting the the crew that we're all familiar with is actually considerably
Starting point is 04:04:38 more capable than i remember them being like they're doing really well overall at beating up the bad dudes and what happens is you're heading to the plate and it appears that you've made it to the plate early right and the ghosts attempt to stop you and they fail because you beat them up you do it and in fact i the second fight was way easier than the first one yeah but and you get to the top of the tower and all that shit's happening and the plates falling and the ghosts go ham to stop you from stopping the plate but as a result wedge and tons of people that should die make it out so two things that are really cool uh one when um jesse is talking you see them start to pile up behind her on her last line and they and yeah and it's like you don't even they don't
Starting point is 04:05:35 even have to do anything they're just in the shot and you're like okay that's a nice touch but that's what i was going to ask you is how do you feel about the fact that there was an evacuation it's crazy like thing like that so they even talk about it briefly it's like shinra is very disappointed because it was supposed to be like it was supposed to be hyper tragedy but and it's so many people like the 9-11 of uh of mid-gaunt yeah and as a result it's like yeah it's a it's a disaster okay now guess what but like tons of people get out now are you now here's the problem i'm shinra yeah because i'm like that's the moment that like makes you go holy fuck these people right and you're supposed to like have that moment be
Starting point is 04:06:26 a paradigm shift that to be honest never quite goes away until the even when the credits roll on the game by the time you beat the game there's nothing quite still on the level of like they pan caked an entire city of people don't even don't don't don't forget the people who live on the plate plate as it's not just the the the the disgusting rats that live below it's everyone in the normal suburbs above as well it's psychotically evil right part of that is is the ongoing attempt to connect the dots for why uh cloud and the gang would not just try and murder rino and rude the instant they ever see them ever again mm because um i don't know how well you remember the first one but rino in the original was all about dropping so that's what's crazy
Starting point is 04:07:21 i he did not give a shit so that's the thing right and i'm like i there's the bit now right i fucking love the turks that they're super cool guys but you have to totally acknowledge that rino jumps off that helicopter and goes i'm smacking this button fuck yeah let's go right and it's and it's like they they make a deal out of it it's like they don't like the mission they don't want to be there the only reason rino gets fired up is because he has a personal ready with cloud with cloud and then rude does not get fired up no but he joins and you get an early reward in the form of fighting both of them instead of just one of them you know which in the original you fought rino and lose yeah and he gets the fuck out here you you dramatically stop them
Starting point is 04:08:16 and also you get that fucking the co-op moment right explosion glasses hand on the shoulder i like how they've integrated rude's secret crush on tifa into cutscenes as well as gameplay rude will never attack tifa ever ever really and i didn't notice that yes that's always been a thing even in the original he does not attack him and here you see him like in cutscenes like actively sabotaging the mission when rino goes to shoot her oh yeah yeah yeah yeah right right it's cool and then he goes what was that about yeah and if you attack rude with tifa he like dodges behind her and like claps the back of her neck like yes i did see that did happen to me and then he then he switches targets yes okay right um also when you when you switch to um
Starting point is 04:09:10 isn't there a point where uh you you switch to erith and rino is like get out of here girl you know what are you doing yeah it's it's a lot more like chill he's just like listen get get out of the way you know what i mean he kind of just a super dismissive um uh this the the plate is when stuff starts to really fly off the rails because i don't know if you remember erith takes marlene home all the way home in the original then and then gets grabbed by saying at the house and then they show up on the helicopter during the plate scene and sang talks to you from the helicopter and tells you about all the shit and then she tries to warn you all marlene's at the house and then saying like backhands are
Starting point is 04:09:56 back into the into the helicopter yes exactly right here she's like nah we'll make a deal and it's a lot more friendly also like that backhand is a very clear oh my god go get her this is bad whereas in this case you have to like plead with uh her mom el myra to be like hey can we go get her because you know so here's the weird thing about that too is i know this is accurate to the to the the flow of events right but it was weird for me how like the place fall you walk through town everyone's fucked up barrett is like emotionally scarred and he's like oh my god what's going on and then he's like oh wait there's a chance she's alive please do give me something to hold on to right and then you get there and like there's everything like there's just a bit of a feeling
Starting point is 04:10:44 where i was just like everyone should be freaking the fuck out not just the npcs everyone should be talking about nothing but how many people just died this is insane yeah it's because the craziest thing like the sky literally the sky fell right and like i'm like there's almost like and thank god they still give it that they give it those moments a little bit after their house right you have that scene with tifa going like holy shit and everything and there's um there's really just this kind of like oh god what do we do now but in the moment of the tragedy i'm looking for like like what the like like a complete breaking of what's what of your understanding right and there's a couple of characters that like kind of don't behave in a way i would expect them to behave given that the sky
Starting point is 04:11:32 just fell uh one of them is you run by andrea on the andreus on the at the market and he's like i will be preparing a show in these times it is more than is needed more than ever uh uh you're welcome to join me if you like on the stage awaits awaiting you you know and i'm like you should like like i'm like that's a ridiculous like that's what he would say but it's also like dude like it's seconds ago it happened seconds ago right it's the craziest thing that is literally ever in your entire life secondly running back to marlita to erith's house and then you have a discussion about the ancients it's like the dust is still on your faces you know what i mean the dust is still on your faces that run back gives me something that i was i was wanting an answer to
Starting point is 04:12:22 the whole game so far which is clad starts tripping his balls right and sef starts taunting him as he likes to do yes and we get a good reaction shot from tifa where she turns around and clad is just freaking out nothing nothing yes and that that great and so but you like okay so uh if i'm not mistaken that moment in the original he ends up on the floor he has a flashback he has a moment and then um i am i am all but certain that that moment does not actually occur in the original uh there's there's a you sephroth do you run into no no no no not sephroth not sephroth it's a it's a it's a it's a uh a zakback right or rather an ancient voice uh a voice of the ancients talking to him in this moment where we're like uh basically like he gets live stream in him and then he
Starting point is 04:13:17 drops to the ground and then they kind of go dude are you okay and they wake him back up off i i i i don't know what you're talking okay well i went i went back to look at it right but there's a scene in the original where cloud literally falls to the ground and blacks out and they pick him back up and then you start running through the uh the underground passage you know okay um um uh there's a lot of little details that come through so one is we find out that those yellow flowers that erith always keeps symbolize reunion and you're like uh of course they do but earlier in the game when she gives it to you she says that these are for parted lovers reuniting and she gives it to cloud who actually gives it to tifa
Starting point is 04:14:11 and it's like oh that's a nice little ah cute but uh fuck all that my erith gets to the bar leans down gives marlina hug and we get what i thought was clouds flashback filter except it's not clouds flashback filter it's a generic vision filter and and the kid literally looks at her and goes oh you what and erith gives a little like a fucking wink and a nod to you and goes to the camera hey hey marlene now that you know shut the fuck up okay then then later on that's when i went from marlene is like oh that lady uh never mind yeah and that's when i went from oh some funky stuff is going on or like maybe there are some scattered pieces right to no there is an explicit foreknowledge of events a hundred percent of a lot of events
Starting point is 04:15:13 uh i build do you remember the line where she's like um we can still save as many people as we as uh we can still save as many people as possible and then tifa says something to the effect of you sound like it already happened yeah or is something uh the other thing she says something is at the beginning of the she says something to the effect of like she kind of just acknowledges you you're not going to stop the plate from falling right and and like it's in the middle of trying to stop it and then and eris is kind of like erith is kind of like uh let's make sure to save everybody yeah let's do what we can you know and she's like what the fuck we're trying to stop it you know there's two more of of that i mentioned it last week but it didn't really hit me until
Starting point is 04:16:00 now and it's like when when they get to erith's house she's been so familiar with him that cloud snaps at her and says stop acting like you know me and the second one is that when tifa turns to when the plate's getting all you know they're at the foot of the plate and wedge is like being tended by cloud um tifa's like i gotta get up there erith will you please and then erith finishes her sentence and says get marlene at the bar right exactly exactly exactly and the only way she could have known that was when she's in when you guys are in the in the train graveyard and then um uh tifa has a little tifa has a little uh it's a vision she has a vision of a child that's marlene in the ghost house right but you're like so if you wanted to do if you wanted to you
Starting point is 04:16:48 could be like oh yeah sure erith is just listening to um the live stream and it's telling her about this but it's like nah no she knew exactly what to do and where to get it right and secondly she literally when she runs into uh there's a line i want to say where she goes um oh your dad or something like that and she goes oh you mean barrett and she refers to barrett like knowing exactly about his she drops his name when his name has never been dropped to her i believe so yeah um i would have to go back through the footage but i'll probably do it on hard mode or somebody will confirm that at some point down the line don't confirm to me near future guys but you remember when the very first cutscene cloud can't see the the beings at all
Starting point is 04:17:39 and erith is being attacked by them yes they're invisible like when you meet her and then he touches the instant she touches him then they become visible he can see so the instant she touches you know marlene she knows things as well you notice that jessie and bigs can't see them no they can't like there is there is a hard distinction on people who can see them and who can't and he actually asks about them how you guys have you ever fought invisible enemies and and they go no i'm right i bet if you went through the cutscenes you would be able to find like oh no the because jessie touches cloud i bet there is like a a touch transference thing well your team is fighting literally run into erith at some point your well here's what i don't
Starting point is 04:18:28 know it might just be direct with her if that is a thing but your team is fighting them as a group right when they come around the second time oh that's right jessie and bigs and they can see them so does that mean reenown rude can see them i don't because they didn't act like they did they they ran right through them um you definitely you definitely uh again you you definitely have the crew fighting them as avalanche so it's like yeah it might not be a like what the the touch transference thing or whatever who knows it might just be you know um based on cloud entirely but but either way you know um that's what we're getting there there's a suspicious shit happening in this remake and i am fascinated to see because like wedge being alive is wrong
Starting point is 04:19:24 i don't mean like it's bad you know i mean like it's incorrect and you finding deep ground and busting into deep ground like a decade before it turns on is also wrong um so they're fighting fate dude yeah but fighting fate what is like you know what that means it means gacked it means gacked will appear is he the ghosts was the go no oh god that that would be really bad no no the ghost yeah i i'm going to uh i think i think the very first guess i had i'm gonna stick with it which was these are timeline equivalents of weapon which is like stop it no really stop it it's your it's it's uh it's a chord it's it's g-band yeah it's it's the it's the beats from beyond
Starting point is 04:20:25 yeah i really wonder and this is this is this is like like put my my fucking crazy tinfoil hat on if it has anything to do with the way that the original game ends hmm do you remember the last last thing you see in the original ff seven thousands of years in the future red 13 no no no no not that that's the post ending i'm talking about the ending where meteor hits holy the last thing you see is arith in the slums looking at that pipe uh okay so you think it's you think it's the the start of that like is this like a two-year-long groundhog day yeah yeah because that would be no it would be it would be very weird if that's what was happening but all signs point to this clearly being
Starting point is 04:21:25 not the first time through these events so the only question is yes under what circumstances are they being replayed you know um yeah so then you get the uh the other bits that are just like excuse me elaborations of of of these moments um yeah current corneos mansion wall mar uh wall market like oh it's all good it's all great fantastic uh corneos huge piece of shit you know i love how he got away leslie sucks dude here's the thing actually leslie is like i don't i don't i don't i leslie's okay but the problem is that even though they throw him this kind of like here's his motivation moment you're like yeah but you fucking you sat there at the door and you sold girls in
Starting point is 04:22:20 you took you tried to talk him away for six months afterwards so you you you totally were an accomplice bro like i get it you have a tragic backstory but you are 100 hands red guilty and yeah and before you forget before you give this pretty boy with a cool haircut the benefit of the doubt you mean off brand noctis don't forget that he also grabs tifa and erith and he walks into the uh the thug room and he goes here you go boys courtesy of the dawn don't say he never does nothing for you and he later comes back with their gear because andreas tells him to that's that's a coin toss man and that's like that he hands them over and then he comes back and goes by the way check it out here's your buster sword and shit and it's like i'm sure people
Starting point is 04:23:14 play oh he knew they'd be fine and i'm like i didn't know they'd be fine yeah yeah yeah um but uh so uh him and curie a aka marie 2.0 oh my god um so uh our book characters are they they pre-exist yes okay they are from a ff7 official novella called the kids aren't all right because i had a whole i i have a thing here where i want to talk about the new characters there are not as many actually new characters as you think okay i want madame m choco sam and andre are definitely yes but here's the thing um of the list of characters that weren't in the original game i'll say that much right um most of them are great yeah most of them are great like even though leslie sucks i enjoy his presence in the game and and and you know oats is you're not
Starting point is 04:24:22 an annoying kid i like the way oats talks he talks like you're actually a weirdly capable he talks like a capable child he has a moment where he tells barrett to fuck off but oats is like yeah you're all right kid you know like you're you're taking that moogle kids insane moogle kids what moogle kids nuts but oats takes care of him as you would the lost boys you know uh uh you know what i see when i look at uh poochie 2.0 first i want to get there i want to get there i want uh because okay sorry okay no you know what fine no no no let's go let's go because what i'm astonished at how similar the design is to marie that is an incredibly specific style it's so close it's so crazy blue hat black and white stock gloves the she pins on the hat she's pooch she's pure poochie
Starting point is 04:25:16 it's it's wild poochie time um but you know what she actually is awful and annoying and the worst she's yufi doesn't fit in this part of the game why would yufi be here you think yufi's not gonna be that annoying is she yufi yufi was the dumb kid who just stole from you okay okay okay okay okay the the shitty thief part of it right yes but the part where she starts out being like fuck avalanche they're full of shit it's literally just a hustle and then she's like pay me my gill and i'm like oh this girl is the worst it's it's literally just a hustle of course it is yufi is is totally gonna be just she's extreme uh kirie i almost said marie kirie is extraordinarily hateable i despise her but she's got a cute hat and she's standing near the flowers and i
Starting point is 04:26:18 bet you anyone that's an arithmark is like how dare you stand near those flowers yeah that would that was a weird decision to put her in there how dare you um man andrea dude dude andrea is the shit yeah he's great he's the best uh did you get those pull-ups it's uh i got him and apparently that is the hardest thing to do in the game yes yes because it took me a couple tries it took me a while it took me a couple tries um that dude's a pull-up monster yeah i got i i read a single piece of advice that was that that helped a lot which was every time your muscles get stuck press the button exactly five times and that that changed it for me um okay but yeah yeah fucking wild uh so so of the new characters right so here's the thing now i talk so i already
Starting point is 04:27:12 talked i talked about uh fucking poochie's awful i hate her um yeah uh rush is a dweeb fuck him dude he's never coming back i feel it he was added to he was added to fill out that sequence yeah i'm so sure oh my god he might he might never come back it's true they're gonna no no no he's gonna show up in some form he's gonna show up in some form he's gonna he's gonna rear his dumb head in one way or another and get something uh anticlimactic um like the right place to put him would be in the in the bike chase out i was good yes exactly that's that's prop that's where you actually bring it to a close right i was going to say yo so this johnny character and then oh you're dumb me he was super there i know i know and i saw it and i went oh shit this fucking red
Starting point is 04:28:09 beard guy that's like i'm a ghost take it out of my own yeah they just fleshed him out a lot a lot he's got time but i was gonna say he wasn't a character before he was a named npc right with like like does he have anything besides that no he he shows up in walmart and that's about it i think later yeah so so so like i gotta stretch it gotta stretch it dude go like fucking going off going off the memory i definitely am like who the fuck is this and it's like oh my god there he is he totally wasn't the original that's crazy uh his dad is a fucking sleaze he's going after him great here's what's here's what's fucked right you run into him and he's all like oh yeah my tifa whatever and he's like okay i gotta i got my wallet stolen thanks for getting my wallet back i'm
Starting point is 04:28:58 gonna get out of here i'm gonna go do stuff and i'm like didn't your mom just die no she's fine and then and then because there was a weird moment where i didn't realize how many people survived and they didn't say that line yet so the plate drops it's tons the plate drops people get out and you and i assume that like 10 percent of the people made it out right no it's it's it's really way more exactly it's like most of the but that line that says that there's a point in time where you where you don't know that and i'm like these people standing at the park are it and the people in the fucking tunnel are it and outside of the survivors in the rubble everyone's fucking flattened and then it's like no so here's not enough for it to be a tragedy
Starting point is 04:29:50 so when you now that it's a full game you actually see the entirety of the sector seven slums there's maybe 200 people that live there right game scale and game scale in in the sure but in the cutscenes that you see a ton of people running out droves like hundreds and you're and you're walking by some people that are like huh what's going on where's everybody going and even people that you would have assumed to have been pancaked you run into you run into betty and it's it it's very clear that like the vast majority of people got out so that feels almost like you're robbing an emotional spike from the original game in the form of like this is supposed to make you want to burn shinra to the ground harder than ever before well here's the thing though they
Starting point is 04:30:46 still attempted yes they still did i know whether or not i totally did the same way that avalanche still had thought they did it even though they did it right and okay so we need to okay if we're going to talk about the plate falling nothing else matters other than what i'm going to bring up so namura said that new players it would be very good to start on the remake as your first experience with ff7 okay we now know that to be a total lie yeah yeah fuck that but absolutely but never before was it more obvious about how much of a lie that was in that the most tragic like city destructive loss of life thing that could ever happen in this game is happening and the city and all the nine elevens are falling on each other and they're burning
Starting point is 04:31:37 and we cut to shinra hq oh god and and shinra man is like getting a boner and he's like all those people are dead and then we pan down to a one and a half foot tall robotic stuffed cat with a crown run out and go oh and then it cuts back to tifa barrett and cloud swinging on the on the wire people who don't know are going to be so fucking confused this sad cat why is sad cat sad it's so fucking weird it makes no sense okay now and i was talking a page about it and she put together something that i didn't realize and her assumption is that that is like 10 minutes after k kai shi kai shi kate sith or whatever has been completed and he was on his way to stop the plate but was like a half hour too late now if i'm not just why he's like running out and he sees it
Starting point is 04:32:43 burning and is like oh fuck it's terrible now if i'm not mistaken is he not controlling it to make it look sad and fall over and do that yes that is a like a vr robot a robot is falling over and going no no yeah exactly exactly now and also i mean you all talk about characters showing up early dude kate sith shows up at the very first time after you like fall into the desert underneath the gold saucer yeah it's like crazy he was way way out there so that's a wild cut that's like that is not for any and it's not a big one but it's not for anybody that uh it's it's so weird you know it's so baffling that being said though there is absolutely going to be a ton of people playing this as their first time touching ff7 so there's you just no way to avoid that and i'm going to assume
Starting point is 04:33:34 hitting the ending and going what so whatever we'll see you know um okay what i wanted to talk about though well not like as we're going that through them i'm like so oats is great miss folia is great she's all right caught her in the wall market what what did you catch her in wall market i did okay uh she got a dance for the orphans little bit of becky going on there a little bit yeah mirai cool which one's the mirai um kirie's grandma the uh angel of the slums oh the angel of the slums rat old lady the worst kept secret in the universe yeah from the jump the moment the quest started and a random lady with a character design was like oh they say the angel of the slow all right yeah
Starting point is 04:34:30 that's that's how long is it how many hours is this going to take 35 okay a long time a long time actually wow yeah that is like so i heard about how uh ff ff7 wow ff ff7 ff13 takes 20 hours to open up technically this game takes 35 hours to open up technically that's right um anyway so you know yeah madame m m dray's chocobo sam all cool you know what moral awesome landlady nice little reference i like these new characters i think they're all fucking yeah they're they're solid i think uh there's obvious there's an incredibly obvious distinction between um what i'm going to call real content which is remade shit expanded content which i'm going to say johnny marl chocobo sam etc and filler yep which is the most of the side content which is like
Starting point is 04:35:30 almost laughable russian curie howl go into the fuck these kids pile yeah and then there's just question mark question mark question mark chadley yet again dude chadley is like a weird mutant from another game did you transplanted it please tell me you talked to him while the plates were falling i don't remember if you find chadley while the plates are falling right when you get back to sector five and you're like hey bro what do you have to say and chadley's just standing there as usual on the street corner like some kind of hussy and chadley's just like in these trying times i sure do hope that our materia quest can come to fruition so i can age you to take down shenra i look forward to your battle research investigations i'm like you fucking weirdo why are
Starting point is 04:36:30 you so weird there's there's there's so much about him that's baffling like even with the way he says that like i've discovered a new materia it's like it you're channeling recipe and the recipe shit but like but it's not quite as boys no you because i want it's not quite that it's not quite the same it's because it's like there's love coming into that recipe whereas i discovered a new materia is robotic did you talk to him in the dress yes what are these emotions i am feeling i am processing a strange emotion yeah he's yeah he's he's a weirdo dude what can i say hey let me ask you who did you get for your affinity scene well yeah who did you get for your affinity scene affinity scene
Starting point is 04:37:33 so in the original ff7 there's a secret like tally between erith tifa and barrett and cloud isn't that that's for the date right that determines the day here that determines who you uh sneak out of the house in the middle of the night to talk to in the flower field oh that's variable i didn't know that so there was they they did that early in this game yeah interesting i didn't know that okay uh yeah well you bet your ass it was tifa because yes okay but guess what though you want to know what the most obvious point tally system there was everybody falls which of them do you pick up first off the floor two bodies on the ground unconscious who you're gonna check on first no hesitation absolutely
Starting point is 04:38:24 and now we're gonna talk mad shit about the one that's unconscious together oh man she's such a dumb broad oh my god i can't believe it yeah instantly you go talk you instantly go pick up tifa on that no question you know so yeah she i thought that was dedicated so wait that scene plays out uh how uh i don't know what are the i mean your alternative is barrett i was or erith isn't she gone at the time yes so the the answer of i don't know is pointed i don't know weird okay i mean there's also the small questioning moments of like you know do you answer these questions with answer a or b yeah uh what when you uh when you went to walmart yeah what quests did you do to get the dress uh i mean all of the green all i mean all no no what what were they
Starting point is 04:39:26 okay was the clothes maker getting the magazine back and healing people from the pharmacy oh my god so the reason i asked because you know how choco choco sam asks you to flip a coin yes i did that it if you choose heads or tails you lose and you get a certain set of quests and if you choose no deal you get a difference i chose no deal okay so did your dress have a tiara i don't remember because there's a bunch of i didn't yeah i cannot get for all the okay i didn't know that no i i i i chose no deal um and then when it was to go talk to the big three i only went to i was about to go into one and i realized that one of them had johnny outside and i was like oh wait let me go find johnny and do the one where
Starting point is 04:40:22 he's outside there's like he he stands near a certain one of them and then i because they can all wear different dress oh interesting based on how you do the quests and uh the what the arith's dress is based on uh how many of the sector five quests you complete uh what about the pigtails can you get the pigtails uh i feel like i had i didn't have pigtails i just had the let me go back and check i had like the look like a cloud mullet cloud mullet it was long in the long hair going in the back but cloud hair up front and i was i was going to be tough because i was expecting the you know spiky hair up front and then pigtails kind of look from the original but i i did i just ended up being long i don't know if there's multiple styles to that i'm i'm trying to find
Starting point is 04:41:14 in my footage this is going to take okay well anyway i wow i'm surprised to hear there's that level of uh variability anyways yeah so when you play it on hard mode you can fucking go and do different what kind of hand massage did you get i totally got a little little pigtails on either side of cloud really i have i can even yeah i can i fucking i'll send you the fucking i did not get pigtails at all that's interesting yeah yeah hold on i i got a timestamp i can send to you you can just yeah i'll take a fucking screenshot take a fucking what kind of massage did you get i got a cheap one and an expensive are you reloaded i reloaded what's the difference here here's your screen here's a screenshot of the cloud that i got okay
Starting point is 04:42:06 oh that's completely different this is a completely different cloud from the one i got that's crazy my cloud is wearing a completely different dress and a completely different hairstyle and i don't have a thing on my hair yeah yeah yeah mine was mine was a top to bottom not the same at all cool how'd you do on the rhythm game uh i did i did i took the practice three four times till i got a perfect because you get a music track out of it um and then i did uh i think i got like mostly perfects with like two bads in the in the final i got i got all perfects except for one great in the final and i got the music track yeah that was good um i was gonna ask about the uh
Starting point is 04:43:02 shit it was right before that the boss no all right fuck it you can't remember hey how about turning the weirdest enemies that ff7 ever had into giant set piece boss fights fuck that how so that's rad and i love when you're down hell house man so thank you so like you you were talking about oh my god i i the hell house better show up hell house better show up and like it's a boss not only does hell house show up they give it the most fucking fanfare you've ever imagined you get a bunch of people going what it's a it's a house they build up hell house so crazy it's it's so fucking sick yeah yeah yeah like it
Starting point is 04:43:55 and like it has modes that you have to worry like there's a whole thing to it it's one it's one of the most complex bosses i fought in the whole for sure and then you and then you fucking take it out with this big fancy kill and then the whole crowd goes but it's like okay yeah oh i i am i am i'm excited to fight the ghost ship and like the triceratops at the wheels if they're gonna treat hell house this um uh uh battle coliseum music banger track oh dude the music's all incredible right there's like like when you're just hanging out in the in the in the fucking back room wait there's so many remixes of the battle theme yes that was so satisfying you're gonna hear this for hours you might as well go through a couple versions of it you go into that
Starting point is 04:44:48 basement and then like you hear loud yelling from far away and it's like hey what's up behemoth how you doing so um you can't you're a proto weirdo behemoth so you can't do ecliptic meteor like you're supposed to but it can do totally do a counter spell but you can do a counter spell and you can also shake the rocks from the ceiling and try and crushes with the kind of pro like you know babies proto meteor those fights feel great those are the fights that feel like oh we're doing it this is like those fights where you're fighting like behemoth or where you're fighting abzu um these it feels it's almost like this is how it looked you know and there's a couple of moments where like you pull up the atb meter and like tifa is mid fucking roundhouse kick in mid air
Starting point is 04:45:40 and i'm just like oh yes so let me ask you and i kind of want to finish on this because i gotta get it i'm starving dude but how much of a feeling do you get that the next one's gonna be a lot sooner than this one took out because there is so much like prep work being made for features that are barely used here's a fast travel system that can only bring you to like six locations here's enemy skill in which there are four four enemy skills in the game and i only i picked up one by mistake and i missed the other one because i didn't realize you have to actively be controlling the character that's using enemy skill there are more materia that you then you can actually fucking use to to kit yourself out right going through this game like when are you gonna use
Starting point is 04:46:32 fucking bio like who's doing that you know uh bio actually works on pretty much everybody so i've been just doing elemental resistances you know well that's that works too but like there's and you only get 12 magic materia total in the whole game uh and it's just like the level cap is 50 it's and it's just like this a lot of this feels like set up like there there are these groundwork is well developed mechanics that are used like how about this how about this how many limit breaks do the characters get so far cloud has two you know two they get two and guess what some of them are their old final limits um barrett gets catastrophe is his level two okay so have you grabbed those already
Starting point is 04:47:30 yeah oh i guess i didn't grab them yet you'd go to the go to the the go to the fucking battle arena when the solo okay okay okay uh and also eriths is only available in the when you leave the arena for the first time you have to immediately turn back around and go back in with her oh you have to do it in post you don't get to do it okay yeah because she's never in your party in that area again so so so all that to say that all you you basically like uh you're seeing that you get these two and you're just like yeah so all the rest are the rest of the journey you know the the groundwork has been laid here why would you be walking out of midgar with seven limit breaks so you know what i really really really like about the level cap being 50
Starting point is 04:48:17 50 is the exact level of power that flashback sephroth had oh yeah okay sephroth is level 50 with maxed out fire lightning and ice okay which is what my cloud pretty much looks like right now now and it's also way stronger than how you left midgar in the first game well yeah i sure as fuck wasn't in my level 30s when i left med midgar back in the day maybe i was i can't remember anyway yeah that game's good i'm very excited to talk to you about it next week mm-hmm which i would feel is an understatement um last thing i'm gonna say is uh you cannot say that they do not know exactly what they're doing the deliberateness of the subtitle that appears the first time uh fucking um what's his name
Starting point is 04:49:16 a little green little green fucker comes out with the knife tonberry comes out is this the face of mercy like i think the subtitle is like oh you're really in for it now or something where it's just like oh this is made for me is you you frame the shot of him walking with the knife forward and them saying something like that for the internet this is made for twitter top tonberry is an incredible incredible enemy i love tonberries and this game totally did it justice because it could barely move and then it just taps you and your character dies fight with caution it hits you it i think it hits you for more health than you can even yeah yeah you know if not for the laws of this land i would have slaughtered you yeah it's the it's the starter pack with Kirby
Starting point is 04:50:07 with the knife all right yeah tonberry is a shit all right ff7 good seven great and uh more final thoughts later and yeah definitely a couple there's a couple of other things that that you know i touched on the art that i wanted to touch on but yeah well we'll talk about that all that later it yeah we'll have a bigger part bigger part of next week be ff7 feels weird seeing the energy of of tragedy be deflected you know be like the deflected and read but to be fair you got a lot of that early you got that tragedy earlier in the game because the the the maco reactor explosion is way more damaging this is true this is true but you're supposed to feel that robbed from you when you see a sword in that fuckers back yeah well luckily enough i i don't since i had to
Starting point is 04:50:54 rerecord that part that is the most depressing part of like most games that i played in a long time because you get jesse and big's dead you assume that wedge is dead then you go get almyra uh sorry you get arith captured then sefra taunts you then you go get to talk to almyra and she recounts to you about arith's mom and her husband dead and it's within like 45 minutes it's so depressing people hate wutai oh i'm damn wutai's all right i gotta get out okay see you guys y'all have a good uh whatever so so
Starting point is 04:52:54 so so so

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