Castle Super Beast - CSB 067: Upgrade to N-Pass Premium Today
Episode Date: May 5, 2020Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Don't miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Outro: FF7 REMA...KE Operation Save Aerith Fallout 76 Bug Is Making NPCs Steal Dead Players’ Weapons CALL OF DUTY: WARZONE IS MAKING SUSPECTED CHEATERS PLAY TOGETHER Deadly Premonition 2: A Blessing in Disguise launches July 10 Assassin’s Creed Valhalla launches this holiday for PS5, Xbox Series X, PS4, Xbox One, PC, and Stadia Massive Nintendo Leak Reveals Wii Code, N64 Demos, and Early Pokemon Designs Evo 2020 has been canceled, replaced with an online event that certainly won't be considered official Final Fantasy 7 Remake director says that the new Remake is the fifth installment of the VII Compilation Final Fantasy VII Remake's second part is 'in the current stages of planning' it's a rhythm fps game where you have to fire your weapon in time with the beat called Gun Jam it's a rhythm fps game where you have to fire your weapon in time with the beat called BPM: BULLETS PER MINUTE It’s an fps game with a style meter and retro graphics called ULTRAKILL Â
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Hi there. How much of our lives have we lost due to Windows changing audio settings on me
for no reason and on you for no reason? Ah, I'd put it in the realm of hours,
certainly. I swear to God. It's so when we set up this bullshit and I sat down,
will you describe my audio as crispy, yes? Crispy. As my grandma would say. I stand up and I go
fucking shit because I have a dumb furry animal cat over there that loves to step on and lie down
on my mixer. So I walk over and sure enough, there's some knobs, the equalizers a little pushed
around, right? Oh man, what am I going to do? I'll just set all these back to normal. Nothing.
And sure enough, it's the same fucking thing it always is. Windows changed something for no reason.
Yep. Yep. Every single fucking time. Yep. That update fucks with your shit.
It didn't even fucking update, which is why I'm so confused.
Hmm. Extra weird then. It just decided to fucking change. I bet. I bet anything that me
fucking around with the RTX shit caused Windows to reset to some fucking default shit like last night.
Could be. I mean, automatically, if you switch the noise levels around,
they tend to be shared by most programs. So that's always a thing. If you fuck with it in one and
then close it and then go over to another, it'll maintain that same level. So there's a lot of
ways it can, it can. I hate it. It can work up. Just always stay the same. Yes. Just always stay
the same, please. Yeah, no, pretty much. There were computers back at the day, back at the labs
downstairs in the the mech tech area in college. And I remember like we would go to our labs down
there and like those computers were all running deep freeze, which is just you can do whatever you
want. When this computer power cycles, it will be back to a set state. You can install anything.
You can fuck with anything. It doesn't matter. Deep freeze will never break. And it was like,
it was magical. It was magical because like you could take over that computer for an entire weekend,
if need be, go home, come back, you know, set up your projects, render, do whatever you need to.
But you power cycle and it it's a perfectly clean slate every single time.
Those are those are the good days. Yeah. And whatever settings, whatever software is on it,
it's a clean, clean, clean slate. Just drives me crazy. We even had a fun thing where you sent
me a fucking screenshot of like, Pat, you check this one, this one always is the problem. Yeah.
And that function that those fucking things don't even exist in my current version of Windows. Yeah.
They removed some of the ones that would fuck us up in the past only to
change different shit for some reason. Speaking of speaking of clean slates.
Some people have, you know, wrote in to let me know that there's some unsatisfactory customers
that are not pleased with the integrity of the passes they've been provided over the last week.
And I just wanted to bookend that and let everybody know that, listen, I understand that,
you know, there may have been some issues. I feel like I feel like I was kind of forced to address
that there was a lot of unhappy people with with what they were provided with the
product they were given. And I suppose that's that's on me. But I just want to before we,
you know, before we zip it up and pass it along and, you know, put the topic away,
I just want to let people know that I can I hear your problems and I have a perfect solution for
you. Yes. For those of you who are listening right now, I would like to introduce and pass
plus and end pass premium, a service which you can subscribe to for a low monthly fee
in which you will be provided with not only all the benefits of owning your end pass, but
you will actually have a monthly refresher so that every 30 days you are guaranteed a brand new,
like it is an updating, you know, QR code. It can be scanned to make sure that your pass is valid.
It is double checked against the database and everyone scans it and goes, beep,
hey, green light, you're good to go. So it's kind of like walking through the airport
and swinging around your boarding pass and they're like, hey, there it is. He's got the updated one.
Right. That's what you got going on and pass plus pretty, pretty handy service. You get it all
together on a monthly basis and pass premium. However, this is where the big, the big, the
big Johns comes in because you bring in, you bring in your end plus plus services plus you get access
to the unique. We're calling it your face service. It is your face. You can determine what you would
like your face to look like with any form, any form of, any form of, of modification, whether that be,
you know, color or simply any, you know, usually colors where we stick with it, your face coming
soon to end pass premium. And we're currently looking at the, we're not, we're not working on it.
We're working on it. No promises yet, but we're currently working on possibly expanding end
pass to include other alphabet passes. So we will let you know about the passes for the rest of the
alphabet that might be included in the end pass premium service coming soon. So please stay tuned
and thank you for your kind and loyal patronage. So
that's all good. And well, what's the cost?
Well, we're currently working that out at the moment. In terms of dollar value, we're not 100%
certain, but a pound of flesh is what we're operating with at the moment.
All right. Let's do
that. All right. What's the modern day? Can we do some quick
So I have some definitions for you, Willie. Yeah, if we can do, if we can do some quick
market value estimations on the approximate value of 40 acres and the market costs for one mule.
If we can figure out that exact current day value, I think we can start operating with a number.
All right. So I have, I got, I got three problems for you. One is market and two are legal.
Okay. Number one is if you're, if your definitive cost is one pound of flesh,
you probably get that for like fucking 390 down at the grocery store because you didn't specify
a pound of what flesh and consume considering it's illegal to sell human flesh.
Right. I assume you meant flesh in general. Two is there, I was looking up some legal terms
while you were doing this. Okay. You're definitely guilty of one. You're probably guilty
of the second. First of all, the issue with the original batch of passes and any subsequent passes
in the face of legal or community opposition. You're basically engaging in planned obsolescence.
Okay. Okay. Okay. In industrial design and economics, it's a policy of planning or designing
a product that has an artificially limited useful life. These things are not worth the paper they're
printed on. Okay. You're giving them out and knowing that they will expire. And
on top of that, I suspect that you knew that that first batch of passes would not go through well,
which makes you guilty of racketeering because racketeering, according to the balance.com,
what is racketeering from September 25, 2019 is a criminal activity in which a person or
organization engages in a racket. A racket is when a criminal creates a problem for others
for the explicit purpose of solving that problem for money. So what you're saying is you invented
a fake pass specifically that's no, you could extort people when it became obsolete. Now,
hold on. That's not what I'm hearing. What I'm hearing is especially with the first definition,
it's not that these passes are invalid. It is that they were valid give or take 100 or 200 years
ago and that they're currently no longer valid. But there was a range of time in which their
validity did exist. However, that time, that's not true. That's the fine print. You are the one
signing those passes and you were born in the 80s. That is past the ostensible validity of
these passes, meaning there was never a point in time in which they were valid. So if a customer
chooses to ignore the expiration date on the past, if the customer does not check the expiration
date on the passes and does not read the fine print and does not read all of the legalese,
they are liable for their own outcomes, which may vary. Putting something in fine print or putting
something in a EULA is not a legally actionable defense, which is why it's not only on the EULA,
it is not only on the EULA, which you must scroll down and mash X to get through, but it is also
printed on the pass itself. There is an expiration date and that expiration date dates back some
400 years ago. But if the user of the pass does not pay attention to the fact that the expiration
date is currently no longer valid, there is nothing that we here at this humble mom and
pop shop can do about that. You can't sell items like this isn't even planned obsolescence.
This is innate obsolescence. You can't sell a fucking carton of milk and say this is milk,
right? And the expiry date on date of sale is two years ago. That's illegal, that's fraud.
You're selling fraudulent passes and then you're trying to hit people with a racket
in order to re-up their fraudulent passes. Hey now listen, the digital collectors edition
we're describing here is one that includes no physical objects to begin with. So quite frankly,
you can say all you want about the nature of the pass being a fraudulent, but if we say that,
like, hey, this digital pass right here is pending. It's pending. There's a QR code on it and it's
like, maybe- You can't really sell digital passes that would only be good prior to the invention
of electricity. What are you doing?
You're setting yourself up for a class action lawsuit.
That's right. You sold a lot of passes over the last week and they are bullshit.
People need to get their money back.
Acres and mules. We deal with acres and mules over here.
I don't- Nobody's got mules, dude. Well, that's why we do-
Some people have acres, but mules are like, who even has a mule? Like, does plague even have a
fucking mule? Probably not. It's got some kind of-
Hey, you know, this is an old-timey stupid question. It's more about real estate than
racism. Isn't 40 acres way more valuable than a single mule?
Oh, fucking crazy. Like, wild. Yeah, 40 acres is insane.
Like, 40 acres is a fucking chunk of land.
It's a humongous chunk of land. It is more than enough to have multiple fields that you can till
and plow. So I'm not super familiar with acres and hectares and all that.
But people owned like hundreds of acres, you know what I mean?
So 40 acres is 0.15 square kilometers. Can I get a photo of this?
What is it in football fields? In football fields?
I mean, back when we had a giant empty fucking frontier, then it was like you can just-
40 acres is a football field. No.
No. No, a football field is one acre.
Okay. So it's 40 football fields.
Is that correct? I don't know about that.
Yeah, I'm looking at like 10 different diagrams. One acre is about the size of a football field.
Give or take like five yards. An acre is not a football field.
An acre is not a football field. That's not it.
I'm going to send you a fucking photo of a football stadium is a fucking acre.
You piece of shit lying, fraudulent asshole.
Hey, man. There's a whole article here.
Don't be hating on entrepreneurship.
Entrepreneurship. You're not even selling anything.
I am selling an experience.
You're selling an experience for yourself.
I'm selling an experience.
You're selling it to yourself.
I'm selling it.
I am selling it to those who would pay to have this experience
before you call it to question my character as a simple,
humble entrepreneur, one who is trying to just make its way onto Shark Tank
so I can get in front of the sharks and say, who wants in on this?
All right. I'm just trying to get in front of the sharks and let them know.
But before you call that into question, I ask you to call into question.
The values of my customers, my cherished dear.
You're right, Woolly.
Obviously, it is the people buying your product on a goof,
not the person who has commodified transactional racism.
If people want to purchase their end pass, end pass plus,
or end pass premium, which now includes the your face service.
Who am I to stop them?
Who are you to stop them?
There is more than enough fine print.
There is an expiration date.
There is a clear cost supply and demand.
Supply and demand.
If there are family members of yours that are lawyers,
you have buddies that are lawyers.
Sure.
Just putting fine print on things doesn't make it legal.
You know that, right?
You understand that.
You can't just find.
You cannot create a commodity that will sell to people
and not acknowledge that if it's sold, it's because there was a demand.
You didn't even create a commodity.
It's a non-valid commodity.
It's an experience.
You're like selling people like wishes or like unicorn tears.
It's snake oil.
It is a cultural understanding.
It's a movement.
End word pass premium is a movement.
You don't get it.
You just don't get it.
You're not up to it.
You don't understand the way things are moving.
You know, this is a digital world.
How are they moving?
This is a digital world.
This is a world of constantly changing.
There's apps.
There's fucking, you know, like the old dot com boomer days are behind us.
We got new shit going on.
And that's why we're working on an app.
We're working on an app.
What does the app even do?
That's only for investors.
That's only for investors.
We were not going to talk about that publicly just yet.
Who the fuck's going to invest in this shit?
Oh, well, you know, there's some people out there.
This de facto fraudulent bullshit.
There's some people out there that are looking to buy some shares.
I'm just saying.
I'm just saying.
There's some shares that people are trying to grab, you know.
You're going to go to jail over this shit.
This is so obviously fraudulent.
Quite frankly, I'm thinking of taking N word past premium.
I'm thinking of taking it private at 420.
You met public.
You met public funding secured.
You met at good.
I'm thinking I'm thinking of taking it public funding secured.
Quite frankly, this quite frankly, the stocks are too high right now.
The N word past premium stocks are way too high right now.
So I would say, you know, careful saying that shit.
You could you could wipe out some value.
All right.
Funding fucking secured.
We're getting in there.
You need to you need to understand that there is a there is a.
All right.
So let me ask you then.
What's the fine print?
Say I say I buy today you're selling the new and improved.
Oh, well, hey, I'm not the I'm not the legal department here.
I can't recite that off the top of my head.
There's a lot of there's a lot of words.
There's a lot of technicalities just arguing legalese with me.
You cannot now go say that you're not the legal department.
There's a lot.
There's a lot of technicalities out there that need to be worked out.
I can have it always when you want and then not when you don't.
There's there is a lot to to to, you know, and let's be real, it would take a long
also it's a company of you.
So yes, you are the legal department.
There are people right now that are working very hard to put food on their tables with
what they are paid from the end pass plus premium service.
And you name one are denying those people name one name one name one.
Name one salaried employee at end pass productions.
That is not you.
Min.
Who do you want to throw under the bus on this one?
Min.
Give me give me a single employee.
Min a.k.a.
He does it for free.
You can't count.
I'm not here to divulge the personal lives of our employees and and and the places that
this company is going.
It's not about whether it's about whether you're on board or are not because we're going high.
We're going places with this.
This business is blowing up right now.
And quite frankly, if you're not if you're not on, then I get it.
That's fine.
You're off.
You're left in the dust.
That's OK.
But to those out there who understand the nature of business, the nature of supply,
the nature of demand, and of course, who understand that there is a clientele that is
very, very adamantly looking around for their passes every time they go to a concert.
Every time it's about every time that they hit the hit.
Any concert.
Yeah, a lot of concert like usually hip hop concerts.
You know, you hit the you hit you hit the the the the banger for the night and not going
down to Phil Collins.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
But you hit up you hit up your favorite concert and then you're just like, oh,
fuck, where was it?
And then you're checking your pockets and it's nowhere to be found.
And this is where you pull out the app.
You flash that QR code, right?
The screen automatically brightens.
Someone walks over goes beep and goes, hey, look at that.
It's valid.
OK, Willie.
You're now able to enjoy your music.
I have a couple questions.
All right.
I might not have answers one.
Have you settled on a price for the the the new and past premium?
Approximate market value 40 acres and one meal.
OK, so that is.
Approximate land value 40 acres, Montreal, Quebec lots and lands for sale on
Duproprio.
We're looking at fucking.
A million dollars.
Oh, well, hey, there's a lot of influencers and plus mule.
There's a lot of not a million dollars.
There's there's a lot of tiktok kids that are that are really that can that can dump
that easily.
There's a lot.
There's a lot of hold on fire, fire festival folks that could that could.
You know.
Anyone who posted an orange photo.
An orange photo.
Yeah, they those are the influencers who all like pushed the fire festival campaign.
They all posted a picture, just an orange screen.
On their on their, you know, anyway, that's fine.
It doesn't matter.
All right.
So I'm taking a look and ironically enough, Canadian fraud laws don't.
I don't see why.
Why do we have to don't have dollar amounts associated with them?
So it's a blanket.
It's not the amount of fraud.
It's just fraud.
And you're looking at 14 years.
Listen held that deprivation is satisfied on proof of detriment, prejudice or risk of
prejudice.
I don't see why not even essential.
There is actual loss.
Why you got to bring this negative energy in my sphere?
Why you got to bring this energy in my space like this?
You know, I don't.
I don't understand why you can't just step aside or step on why you got to walk into the
space and bring it down like this.
I don't.
I don't appreciate it.
I don't know how many people do how many people do you think can even afford like a
million dollar pass?
Well, that's why we have different price charts coming out.
But we're right now.
We're talking about right now.
Right now we're discussing right now.
We're discussing the 40 acre and a mule value, you know, but we can we can we can we can work
out monthly payments.
We can work out, you know, yearlies.
We can figure it out based on your your own individual situation.
I'd like to thank Plague of Gripes for helping us out on some of the numbers here.
He went and did some land research and he puts the USDA average acreage in America at $3,200
an acre.
OK.
So the end pass plus for the US on average would cost $130,000.
However, the nature of your acreage business plan means that the poorest areas are able to
afford more passes.
If you live in San Fran, I don't think anybody could afford that pass.
If you live in shithole, Kentucky.
Passes for all.
So what you're saying is we have a sliding economic sale scale system that,
you know, that that that changes from state to state.
Well, actually, I mean, if you're talking acreage, I mean, you got to set some kind of
distance from their home, OK, like state to state would probably work.
Hmm.
But like, would it go city to city or like a county to county?
Well, you know, now we're getting now we're getting into into real estate, quite frankly.
And at that rate, I think what I would have to do is take it back to the board and take
a look and see, you know, OK, if this area has this has this type of, you know,
has this type of value, then we only have this many passes for that area.
But if this area has this kind of value, then we have a lot more passes for this area.
Because population is higher.
What you're saying, Willie, is that
Joe Exotic gets a discount and pass plus.
But Jeff Bezos is not.
He's a premium member.
He's a premium member.
We, you know, he's a he's in there.
Don't don't you, you know, listen, listen, listen.
We don't we don't we don't disclose.
Somebody asked in the in the in the chat.
That's a really good question.
Are the passes region locked?
Are they region locked?
How far are you able to travel from the date and from the place of purchase for your pass?
Is it a national pass?
Is it a county pass?
Do you need to do you need to pay an extra fee when you go across state lines?
OK, well, as far as we're talking right now, we are serving the continental
United States, Canada and Mexico.
OK, so no Hawaii.
Go fuck yourself.
We are working with partners for with that are going to work out their coverage zones.
And you know how when you fly from here to like the states and then your phone service switches.
And it's like, hey, our partner, you're going to be going from Rogers to the regional and pass plus
provider.
Exactly.
So, you know, if you're different, if you fly to Japan,
you've got to get docomo to like work with your phone services.
Yeah, you've got to work it through with those individual regions.
You know, they have our partners that we're currently working with.
You know, ideal ideal situation is we grow the business.
We work it.
We get international, but we're not international just yet.
So right now we're working with partners who will handle the passes in your own respective regions.
Seeing as all right.
So let me ask you because there's the results
and re in regions will change.
Results change drastically from region to region.
Did you contact the anime girl VTuber database now and give that whole industry a free pass
while playing GTA five and watching the Lamar cutscene?
Now it has come to our attention that the anime VTuber realm has been in violation of not purchasing
a pass and quite frankly, we're looking into it.
It sounds possible that they did not know what they were doing,
but ignorance as you would know.
I'm sure it's open in a browser in front of you is no excuse when it comes to the law.
So the exact phrasing in English law is usually ignorance is no defense of the law.
Exactly.
So when we're looking at this, the situation right now with the VTubers,
again, we're not finished investigating it, but it seems that the local Japanese
pass handlers will need our partners over in Asia will need to locate and at least contact
you know, perhaps with a seasoned assist to let these VTubers know that they have not
acquired a pass and to direct them to where they can do so or seesaw criminal activity.
No criminal activity.
You don't have the legal authority.
No, you certainly don't.
But hey, remember, remember, remember when a company stepped up and said,
hey, we are the legal eSports authority in Japan.
And then Japan was like, what?
And then they're like, yeah, no, you got to you got to pay us to get eSports money.
And then all the players were like, no, you don't.
And then all the companies that make the games were like,
yeah, no, that's cool.
And the players like, please don't make these people real.
And they're like, no, they're real now.
So then they became the authority.
Yeah, it's kind of like that.
I'm the authority on who can.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
I'm saying if if I'm in like, if some if you're the no, no, no, no, I was,
I was quotation.
I was saying, I was making it out of his mouth.
You're backtrack.
You're not letting me finish the statement, right?
Like I'm saying like, I'm the authority says random company that appears.
No one in Asia, in Japan, right?
No one contests it.
We are now the authority.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm reciting the, the precedent established by the JESU.
Right.
And it is established that, you know, we, we saw it happen with eSports.
I see no reason it can't happen with VTubers.
Well, I mean, it, I mean, you're going to be selling this, this pass to the U.S.
I assume, right?
I mean, that's, that's my target audience.
There's another, again, we work with our partners, you know,
I have bad news for you.
Uh, you can't sell the rights to language in the United States.
Oh, that's not what we're selling.
Again, and what are, what are you selling exactly?
An experience.
What does the pass contain?
It's a movement.
Is it the experience of literally like holding the pass in your hands or like?
It's a vibe.
Okay.
You're selling a vibe.
Could you be slightly more?
Could you be slightly more specific?
And soon when our view, when our VTuber friends get access to N pass.
Perhaps, you know, they will be able to play all the Grand Theft Auto they want without,
will they, your, your, your product is becoming increasingly unclear.
And in fact, I think you can sell the right to use certain language.
Like I remember Adobe was getting all ass holy about Photoshop.
As unclear as the usage of the word in question.
I think the only solution to this going forward to save yourself from racketeering trouble
is that you will have to personally.
That's woolly Madden must trademark and copyright the N word.
I don't think despite what others have attempted to do.
I don't think we have been able to cross that boundary just yet.
Oh, you have trouble at the patent office.
Well, it seemed I've heard that attempts to trademark your fired did not work.
But at the same time, the successful trademarking of let's get ready to rumble
in the context of starting a competitive activity is valid.
You understand?
So context appears to matter.
And I suppose I gotta say, every time I ask you a question, your pass gets shittier and shittier.
Well, well, it doesn't seem to be worth a million.
Well, here's what I'm saying.
An attempt to trademark your fired did not work in general, right?
But an attempt to trademark, like it, let's get ready to rumble,
did work in the context of an opening of a competitive sport.
Therefore, I don't know if we can work through the possibility of owning the word itself,
but we can definitely use it and own it in context.
And in the same way that you have it in context of a competitive match starting,
the context of at a concert, the context of, you know,
when what do you can you can you can contextually, perhaps, what is your response to the claims
that you do not have the authority to issue such passes, especially for money?
Well, what at the end of the day, what what who determines what the authority is?
I'm going to say not you.
Okay. Okay. Okay. That's fun. That's fair.
Ideally, but there there does not appear there would be a form of governing.
But there appears to be no governing body that can actually determine
what is what in this scenario.
Therefore, he who takes the napkin first determines the pace.
Are you upset that I'm taking the napkin?
Are you upset that I'm determining the pace?
No, I'm not.
All my actions are those of justice.
I am unclouded in my conviction.
You have to understand.
Let's see. Let's see.
Wooly, I you might in fact be guilty of a crime right now.
By trying to sell these passes in Canada.
Section 319 one of the Canadian Criminal Code states that publicly inciting hatred
is a criminal offense.
It is an offense to communicate statements in a public place which will incite hatred against
any identifiable group where it is like you're breaking up.
I can't hear you. Pat, you're breaking up.
I can't hear you.
Uh, you're I can't.
Your mic's not working anymore.
Crab prosecutor can proceed by either.
It seems like your mic's not working anymore.
Something's wrong.
Maximum penalty is I don't know if the mic issues you had earlier today
are coming back to haunt you, but I don't know if you worked it out completely.
It seems like you might have.
It seems it seems like you might have some issues, folks.
We're working it out right now.
We're working it out.
Let's see.
Hello, are you there?
Yeah, I'm there.
Hey, what's up?
Oh, hey, what's up?
We had some issues.
Hey, I was able to post the Wikipedia documentation of the hate crime statute
you're violating right now in the chat.
If you want to take a look at that, I don't.
We don't hate crime statute.
What do you even, how am I in violation of anything?
What do you, what do you even get on about?
What is that?
Where does that law apply?
That law applies because you're communicating statements in a public space,
which incite hatred against identifiable groups.
That is dumbasses dumb enough to buy your pass.
Yes.
Okay, okay.
Also, IE non-black folks.
How do you know, hey, who said what black?
Who the fuck is talking about?
No one said anything about black, anything.
What do you even, what does this have to do with any of that?
At no point.
This is some new.
At no point did I say the word black
anywhere.
You just said that for the first time in this conversation.
What does black have to do with it?
Yes, I'm black and what?
So you're saying, you're saying, I don't even understand how that's wrong.
Black has nothing to do with it.
I would be able to start up my own and pass plus.
Secondly, your, secondly, you're talking about laws that apply.
How do you know I'm not in the Cayman Islands right now?
How do you know, I can see you in your apartment right now.
Well, you don't know if that's the same fucking background
that was put off, put somewhere else.
You don't know if I moved my shit.
Main screening to Dodd's local law.
Do I own a green screen?
You do.
So what do you know?
You don't know anything.
Also, who knows whose name is on the ownership.
Also, regardless of that, well, you are broadcasting to the internet,
which means you would be in violation of any particular law
if you were to ever come back to that country.
Again, you don't know.
You don't know whose name is on the LLCs.
And the LLC means limited liability literally promoting it with your voice.
Listen, you said, I can see you.
You said, I can literally see you right now.
You said something, something, something black.
And I'm like, what?
I don't know what just anyways.
Listen, and plus and past plus and past premium you face.
It's a vibe.
It's an experience.
It's a movement.
Those who know understand.
They get it.
What do you get with you face?
Like literally, like, what do you get?
It's, it's, I mean, you face, you know,
um, you, you face is a way of, of, of interfacing with reality in,
in ways that you might not have ever experienced.
It's, it's a way of changing the way you experience the world
while the world also changes.
Like it's a pair of glasses.
The world changes the way that it sees you.
So you face is.
You face, you face is a simple, you know, it's, it's, it's, I mean, yeah, there's.
Are there terms and conditions to you face?
I mean, well, okay.
Like there, there might be a product.
There might be some instructions.
There might be.
Okay.
You know, um, again, it all sort of depends.
But, but you face is about, uh, uh, uh, trying, you know, it's, it's, we have some experts
that have figured out, um, some really cool ways to change the way you perceive reality
and to change the way reality is perceived.
Well, no one's going to buy it based off this big, vague bullshit.
No, that, I mean, you'd be surprised.
What a nice infomercial running at, uh, for, for hours after 4am would do.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
You know, you know, and, and, and that's it, man.
You know, but what do you get with it?
You get how specific is it?
You get, you get it.
I can't give away trade secrets.
You know, what?
You literally have to define a product for people to buy it around those false advertising.
It's not what do you get with the you face?
I'm, I'm, I think I can sell, um, ideas and implications.
And I think that people can grasp what they want to grasp from these ideas and implications.
And, uh, they might like what they think.
And if they like what they think, then they'll get the pass.
If you are selling ideas and implications, you need a fine print on that.
That's pretty explicit.
So let me ask you, what does the you face pass not come with?
All right.
So at this point in the commercial, you'd see an old couple fishing.
Yeah.
You'd see a family riding their bike, you know, riding with their helmets.
And, uh, you'd see, uh, a cute kid playing with a puppy.
And, um, you know, and then you'd, you'd see, um, you'd have a really good, uh,
person doing a voiceover speaking really, really fast about, um, side effects,
terms and conditions, things that, you know, may or may not apply and all the, all the,
all the, you know, everything involved.
But, um, you know, at the end of the day, we'll then cut back to these people.
And at the end of their wholesome activities, that family lays out a blanket, uh, in a park.
And then we see that the old couple fishing is actually right next to
the family on their, on their picnic with their bikes,
which is also right next to the kid with his puppy with the Frisbee.
And then it's going to be, they're all going to turn to the camera and be like,
you face my life is better with it.
That's, but that's, it's not, you didn't even say anything.
Well, what do you, what do you get?
You got to, people are going to buy a, a nothing.
You have to actually say what the fuck you're like, okay.
Why are you so, if you're proud of your product,
why are you so reticent to describe it in any way?
Talk to your end pass provider about you face.
That's all we're saying.
You are my end pass provider.
You got it.
You got it.
To my knowledge, you're literally the only end pass provider around.
There is, there is, there is, there is, uh, uh, um,
confidentiality privileges between the providers and their customers.
And we don't really want to, you know, it's like,
you know, you can advertise beer by having people hold it,
but you can't have them drink it.
I do.
Yes.
It's kind of like that.
Well, like we don't, you don't need,
that's because that's a controlled substance.
Yeah.
So in this case,
are you saying that the federal government of Canada has recognized your
end word pass as a controlled substance?
I'm saying that, uh, you, you should, that,
possibly addicted.
I'm saying that,
what we're going to need to let people know the most we can let them know right now
is that they should, um, talk to their end pass providers about you face and
to see if it's right for them.
All right, Willie, I will buy you a pizza.
That makes you my end pass provider.
I waive my confidentiality rights.
What do you get with you face?
I don't, that's not, we have not worked out the details.
Do you not have confidence describing your product to your possible buying audience?
Well, I, we do, but again, we're working out the legal.
We don't want to say anything that would get us in trouble.
You know, you literally said you're selling it this week.
That shit has to be done already.
No, we sold the old passes last week.
We are introducing the new services and the new services.
Do you get a refund or do you have to go up for the new?
Oh yeah, you can totally get a refund.
Okay.
So anyone who wants a refund on a pass that Willie sold them,
feel free to ask for it.
Yeah, um, yeah, refunds, refunds are, you know, that's, come on now.
You just got to, of course, show the receipt of purchase.
We, and you obviously sold these with receipts.
Otherwise you'd be in violation of tax law.
You got to have receipts, folks.
You got to have an invoice.
You know, if there happens to be any blood on that invoice, I don't know.
That might be a little bit icky.
So I don't know about that, but in general.
Well, actually, no, then you would, then you might run the risk of being liable for damages
as a result of your faulty product, which you started the podcast saying that the passes didn't take.
Now, now, now that is not liability.
That's on the record.
That is not liability.
If, if someone, hey, there has never not been a very clear statement about the varying of results
and that results may vary.
And when those results come to fruition, uh, uh, there is no liability on behalf of
and past plus and past premium or you face physical damages in a recall that doesn't count.
We'll see what the judge has to say about that.
You know, that's what I say.
I would love to see you talk to a judge about this.
That would be the best transcript ever.
That would be so great.
Our customers are entitled to what they deserve.
A great experience.
That's a good, that's a good line.
How do you, how do you feel about the, the, the statement, um, uh, that you are, uh,
uh, if fanning the flames of, uh, of, uh, what am I, let's be careful with our words here.
How do you fanning the flames, um, implication that you may be in fact
a race war profiteering fanning the flames of wood that might be stuck into the ground
in a certain recognizable formation, perhaps a religious one fanning those flames.
I actually don't.
I'm not, I'm not religious.
Oh, there it is.
There it is.
Okay.
Yep.
Took a second lag.
All right.
All right.
Fanning, fanning, fanning.
Well, we'll, fanning those flames.
I, I look forward to Pat, if I am fanning those flames, then perhaps we should grab.
Oh, I don't know.
Uh, a water hose with a lot of pressure, plug it right into the fire hydrant
and extinguish that fire because that's what fire hydrants are for.
Okay.
Fire hydrants are there to, to, to blast water really hard
and to spray so we can out all those fires.
You know.
Well, Willie, I, uh, think your business model is terrible.
I think we can grab some dogs that'll help us find survivors.
If there's any left in the, in the.
Don't think you're actually going to have much success with your, your current,
your current business plan.
We got some dogs ready to find anybody.
You know.
And I look forward to your ongoing attempts to monetize digital shoe polish.
Thank you.
I, hey, listen, I, I, uh, appreciate that.
Is that some sort of metaphor?
I'm not sure.
I don't know.
I mean, it is not a metaphor.
It is a direct statement.
I don't understand what the metaphor is, but I appreciate your support.
I appreciate, uh, your, uh, vote of confidence.
And I don't believe you.
I appreciate your patronage.
So after all you offered to, you know, you, you did literally, I offered you a piece.
You literally offered, you literally offered to participate.
So I, I appreciate, are you telling me that you cut the fucking price down from 40 acres
to that of a pizza?
I'm saying that if anyone were to look through our books to see the record of customers,
we have, uh, one Pat Boyven on the record at the very least, he might owe us a little
bit more that he hasn't paid yet, but he's on the list of customers.
He's on the list, you know?
I mean, again, we have people that signed up, started their deferred payment plans that
haven't paid us yet.
They're still on the list, even though they haven't paid us yet.
A pizza is part of the cost.
It's not the full cost, but you're still on the list of customers.
And with that information, you know, uh, if we ever were to, I don't know,
get hacked or something and have all that information get leaked out or whatever.
I don't know how that would, I don't know how that would happen.
I don't know what would happen.
That's crazy.
Right.
It would be ridiculous.
We have secure servers and we have a fucking, uh, we have, uh, you know, two, two, two factor.
But if anything were to leak out a list of customers, your name would be on it.
So thank you for your patronage.
I'm just explaining that that sentence has a meaning.
You say that when I offered you a pizza, that's a legally binding contract.
I'm saying that you didn't follow up on your end of the deal.
I'm saying that you offered to participate in the program.
We, uh, can, we can work out the rest of the payment details later,
but as far as we're concerned, uh, you know, you're on, you're on board.
Wait, wait, hold on.
People are customers.
If they walk into your office and leave without buying anything,
what kind of fucking mentality is that?
If you start your down payment, if you're, if you are, if you pay, you know,
are you eating a pizza right now?
I am not.
But if you start your payment process, then, you know, the process has started.
We got to gather your information to make your file.
Once we make your file, it's in there and it just says you owe us a lot more.
Your business seems really shady, dude.
A lot of things are shady.
A lot of things are shady.
It's a vibe, it's an experience.
It's a movement.
Our customers get what they deserve.
And pass plus and past premium.
You face coming soon.
There's got to be some kind of severe ass fine print on you face,
because I know you're not selling the full.
Let's leave it there.
I know you're not selling the full you face package.
Tell us about your week and then later, when you receive the product and implement it into
your life, we'll have a nice before and after to compare your life before and pass and you face
and your life after.
So how is your week this week?
That was all right.
All right. Well, honestly, considering how much time we waste on that is for the best,
because like I played, I played, I didn't watch anything for shit.
And I really only played one thing, even though it's old, going on the ongoing trend of
Joseph Anderson or Mandalore or somebody or internet historian or whoever puts out a
big fucking gigantic video about a game that I had usually owned, but not putting the time
into that I should have.
Mandalore put out a fucking hour and 20 minute long video on Total Warhammer two,
which is not actually the name of that game.
The name is Total War Warhammer two.
But the devs have basically complained that the lawyers won't let them call it Total Warhammer
two. It is a what the fuck?
How would I?
It is an awful name, by the way.
Total War Warhammer two.
Yes.
Yeah, it's terrible.
Any name that has the word, the same word in it twice is a bad title.
It's it's because like on the like the if there were a box, the two brands have to be separate
because games workshop and Sega and what have you.
But it is a four X game in which you play the Warhammer factions
and have Total War Style battles with, you know, your little army units and whatnot.
It's great.
And boy, they have added a lot to it since the last time I looked at it.
The Total Faction Count is absurd.
At this point, it's God, it's the elves, the humans, the dwarves, the dark elves,
the green skins, chaos, wood elves, the Bretonia, carcassarone,
like the vampires, the fucking pirate vampires.
That's a lot.
Scaven like almost everybody.
And they've talked about how for the they are working on Total Warhammer three.
Moth says three flavors of dead.
Yes, there's crazy.
You got your zombies.
You got your tomb kings, which are skeletons and you got your your fucking undead pirates.
But they've talked about how they basically want to get everybody in by the third game.
OK, and then they'll be done, I guess, because they'll have done it.
I had a lot of fascinating, like more fascinating than the game.
Like people know what Total War is.
You know, it's it's a forex game where you command like little armies of units and like little blocks.
What does forex game mean?
Forex is expand, exploit, exterminate and
I forget the fourth one.
What does that come from?
So OK.
Yeah.
Thanks, Civ.
Explore, expand, exploit, exterminate.
OK, there we go.
Thank you.
Sounds like a marketing word.
Well, I mean, Sid Meier invented it back in like 91.
Yeah, I don't know what to tell you.
But it is Civ ish.
It's just that it is obviously fantasy flavored and it is a lot is it a lot more focused
on building and maintaining armies and having big RTS battles with like a shit zillion units.
I'm sure you've seen it at some point with like fucking Rome and Total War back in the day or whatever the fuck.
It is so much more interesting to me because it is Warhammer,
because let me go down the fucking list of Total War games just like a quick list, right?
There's two Rome games.
There's like four revolutionary war ones.
There's three kingdoms medieval, Napoleon, Fall of the Samurai, Shogun, etc.
They're almost exclusively historical, right?
The Warhammer ones are the the crazy weirdo fantasy one.
Rome has always been like known because that box with the the century and yelling.
This is the most recognizable thing.
And I was talking to Mothman noted big Warhammer huge, huge fucking nerd.
And he basically confirmed to me what I had suspected,
which is the history fans are super, super, super mad at how successful the Warhammer versions have been.
Because it has stolen all the thunder because you put the flavor on it.
Because it's like, OK, listen, you got like historical Napoleonic France
and the Prussian Empire and whatever.
You're going to have muskets.
You're going to have cannons.
You're going to have whatever, right?
Yeah.
You're not going to have a faction of undead vampire pirates that don't have towns.
They just roll around on pirate ships and raise the dead.
You know, like the unit diversity is enormous in the fantasy one,
as opposed to your realistic one.
And I kind of feel bad.
But at the same time, I don't care because all that shit's super boring.
I'd rather see like orcs hit a skeleton than the Prussian army fight the Napoleonic army.
I'm getting flashbacks to watching someone play this.
And I don't remember who.
It couldn't have been my brother because this was this came out in the aughts.
So it couldn't have been him.
Damn.
I've watched this game being played.
Yeah.
I've watched I've watched a Roman particular because this game wasn't out in the aughts.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Rome Rome was Rome.
Yeah, because because I remember specifically the like the crazy ass.
Like every time you saw a screenshot of this, it was like there is infinite units.
Clash slamming into each other and they're all like pretty detailed for the time.
Yeah.
And it was it was like a full it was like 3D battlefield.
But it was just like the idea that you had something that looks a bit more like.
I guess a real a realistic quote unquote like battlefield with the number of units out there
compared to most other games at the time.
Yeah.
And it's a good fit for Warhammer because Warhammer is about like your little battalions of dudes.
It looks like the game that mobile games want you to believe they are.
Oh, man, that's fucked up.
You're super right.
Probably.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
It's laughably complicated.
Doing the tutorial for like the elves took me like four hours.
And it's the kind of thing where you learn how to do something and it goes.
You hit and turn and it goes.
Hey, do you want to learn the tech tree and it shows you the tech tree and you go.
Okay.
Right.
You pick the tech tree.
And then on the next term, it's like, do you want to learn how to fucking enact provincial edicts?
I'm like, okay.
All right.
Next turn, it's like, do you want to know who you want to influence at court and sign a non
aggression pact?
Yeah.
Okay.
How about the six different types of unit movement on the world map?
How about the 35 hotkeys that you need to organize your formation?
Except like it's fucking infinity.
Don't you love that?
It's very intimidating to get into, but I've won it.
I have bounced off this game like five times.
Because I get in and I fucking get into the first couple of tutorial battles.
And they're tutorial battles.
So they're supposed to be like baby steps and I barely won any of them.
And I took like massive losses and it's like, that's not good.
So I ended up watching a video series called, this is why you suck a total war,
which is specific to the war hammer series.
And it teaches you like, okay, no, here's how you actually put your guys in formation.
Here's how you, here's how a battle is supposed to work.
Don't just throw your bullshit at the other guy's bullshit.
But you enjoy drowning in options.
I do enjoy drowning with options as long as I have the ability to actually learn what those
options are and eventually like pair them down to the 15 that matter.
Yeah, which are what units do you have?
What did you spec your Lord into, et cetera.
Probably the weirdest thing is the way they have released this game.
So total war hammer, it's a God, it's the fucking, the fucking logo is so hideous.
Well, I'm going to send you a fucking screenshot of the logo.
It is so awful.
Take a look at that shit.
It's so stupid.
So total war hammer, total war war hammer came out.
And logo's red.
What are you talking about?
Look at the, like it's total war war.
Like it's, I mean, the words are dumb, but I, the graphics or the graphic design is nice.
Okay.
Well, that's what I mean.
I mean, the words, the graphic design is nice.
The typography is solid.
I don't, I don't hate it at all.
I think it's a good logo.
I think it's fine.
I disagree, but mainly because of the words.
Regardless, I want to talk about the first game came out and the first game was like,
okay, humans, humans, dwarves, orcs, and vampires.
I think it was, right?
Now is the first game.
And then they put out some DLC and the DLC is like a fuck.
It was chaos and it was like some, some, some beast man and shit like that, right?
Then the second game comes out and none of those are playable at all.
At all.
Including like the de facto starter human.
And they've been replaced.
Both elves, lizards and rats.
And you go, okay.
And then like, I want to say a couple months after release,
they put out a new campaign map, which is both of the game's maps combined into one super map.
And all races playable.
And you're like, that's cool.
That's crazy.
That's, that sounds awesome.
And then you get to the part where you're like, oh cool.
How do I play humans?
And the answer is by Total War, Warhammer one.
And it's super weird because the first game retroactively became DLC.
Weird.
Oh, I've, I can't think of a single game that has ever turned the old one into DLC.
Though if I ever played a game where all these individual maps I was familiar with
got logically connected together into a super map, I'd probably mark out at that.
Well, it's, it's easy for this shit because the, the old fantasy Warhammer map is fake earth.
Like with North America, South America, Africa, Europe, et cetera.
So the current one is about two thirds.
It's North and South, North and South America, most of Europe and the top of,
yeah, the top of Africa, like Egypt and above Saharan.
And so the next one I'm going to assume is going to add like Australia and Asia.
Yes, there's a doughnut everyone, calm down about the doughnuts, basically Atlantis.
But it's this weird thing where when the third game comes out, they will have, I don't know,
who the fuck is even left, like a couple of chaos factions and what have you.
And that'll be all that's playable.
And then they'll put out the final map, which is planet earth and goes,
anything that you already own, here you go, all of it, just put it right in.
And it becomes like a $550 game at that point.
But it is way better than that sounds, because you don't need to own anything to play against them.
Oh, that's so say, say like, for example, right now, the orcs are kind of bad, right?
And say you don't care about orcs, right?
It's it's the it's the character, character catalog thing almost of just like,
I can fight against you, but I don't own you.
Yeah. So once once the the green skins and all that got combined,
they'll be on the map. They'll they'll live where the orcs are supposed to live and they'll
they'll be your opponents. But if you don't want to play as them, you don't have to play as them.
Right. But if you definitely want to know the game inside out and get really good at it,
you're going to need to learn all the races and everything that's in the game.
Well, I this is this is one of those things where my initial assumption may be dead wrong.
The game does have multiplayer.
I bet most players don't give a shit.
Because multiplayer is it's it's army matches.
I assume the vast majority of people are going to be playing the campaign against the AI on
various difficults. If there's a multiplayer mode, there's going to be a scene out there
that is like, yeah, you know, figuring it out and getting into a meta of some sort, for sure.
Well, the the meta is is I mean, there's oh my god, because you have because there's a part of
because there's a part of this that I left out, which is will they say you're going to play
the your who's well, you might like lizard people, right? Lizard people are cool.
They're like dinosaurs, they got dinosaur units, right? So you pick your lizard people. Well,
who do you want to run the lizard army? And then you pick from I think they have six different
what are you implying all heroes? The dinosaurs are radical. Okay.
They're they're they're the Aztec nation, but they're not you're calling me a lizard person.
Go on. No.
Oh, he's blink.
God damn it. This N past plus business has you see in enemies everywhere, Willie.
Anyway,
about that, seeing enemies everywhere. All right, go on, go on.
What the fuck are you talking about? Nothing. I'm trying to talk about my lizard dinosaur.
I just I just I just the lizard. It's they sound dinosaurs are cool.
They're very cool. Fuck you. Tell me. Okay. Anyway, fine, you'll play the fucking Bretonians,
the French faction.
They have five different army leaders and all of those are completely unique. And those are I
was going to make a joke about being parentally raised to be like there are enemies everywhere
and you must be twice as good as all of them. That's all. Anyway,
it's fine. Anyway, any of the lords that you pick are all going to completely define the armed forces.
So it's not just like the I don't even know how many 11, 12, 13 different racial armies. You also
have four or five unique army play styles per section. So you have the meta for what combinations
of armies, then you have the meta for what combination of armies with what leaders and
earlier you said zombie pirates. That sounds pretty rad. I did. They are the latest DLC faction.
Does that imply naval warfare? That implies naval warfare. It implies colossuses made out of
undead ships. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, they're red. Okay. If I remember correctly, they don't like
they're mainly a slow ranged faction. Okay. Oh, do you mean like boat to boat combat? No,
that is not in there. I believe that auto resolves if you actually try. What did you
think I meant by naval warfare? Stomachs? I thought you meant a boat walking on land shooting cannons.
Oh, well, no. No. But that sounds like a cool, a cool race. Yeah, it's it's really although less
of a race, more of a job. But you know, like I'll have to actually I'll just ask Mothman right now
and I'll get back to it. Who the fuck is left to add? Because I literally don't know. I'm not as
familiar with a fantasy Warhammer as I am with Warhammer 40k. Like I could list those races off
a lot better. I could say, oh, they're missing the tower. Oh, this is the one where the Necron
show back up or whatever. But yeah, it's like, it's nice to be able to play a total war game that
has units that I give a shit about. Aren't there literally hundreds of races in the in the lore?
No, there are there are hundreds of sub factions. Oh, and the sub factions is usually what you get
at the Lord. So like say you pick the rat guys, you'll you have like the warrior cast of rats and
then the plague cast of rats. And so they're little sub armies. Okay, okay, that makes more sense.
Because like every time I so there are because people people are because yeah, every time I hear
I hear anything in reference to it, there's always like the whatever are so cool. And it's like,
yeah, I'm like, is I just kind of like, is that a race? There's so many of these things. Okay,
sub factions, that makes more sense. Clans. Yeah, so you have you usually have your race
distinction, which is rat people, skeletons, etc. And then you have your subdivision of like,
this is the rat people that somehow figured out how the atomic bomb works. Or this is the rat
people that love creating under warrens to create the vermin tide. Right. I hope kind of like how
there's a billion clients of space marines. We got Mothman back to answer me. We have the Oh my
God, we have chaos dwarves, not to be so the bad dwarves, ogres, chaos demons.
Russians. He says he says Kizlev, which is the Russians with bear cavalry. And then 12 remaining
small sub factions. So, so I bet that next game is going to be very chaos centric.
So canines, dogs, Dalmatians.
Something like that. Yeah. Okay. I was doing some research on it. And it's like, okay, well,
you know, is total Warhammer three in development? Yes, it totally is. It's it's deep in development,
apparently. And I found an interview in which people are like, what are you guys going to call
the final campaign? They said internally, it's called a very big campaign. That's it. Okay.
It doesn't have a cool name, like mortal empires or whatever. It's just like, it's really big.
It's going to be a really big one. Lots of clans and lots of races means lots of art. So
I'll do the art in the games. Well, that's one thing that like as an outsider as an outsider
to Warhammer and as an outsider to 40 K, you know, both of those things have always been like
just what I'm seeing is a collection of fucking gorgeous artwork for like tons and tons of
different groups and and stories and factions and races and things like that. And it's,
yeah, it feels like it like there's there's more than enough to like go on officially
that like you don't even need to have like the fan art be this, you know, you know, like fan art
for things is like a flooded community in many cases. In this case, like it's officially flooded.
The fan art can still come, but it's like they got you covered.
The the in game stuff as well, like the units are very detailed. Like they they all animate really
well. All there's the maps are all unique maps with like all these details. The world map is
incredible. It's great. There's only one problem with it. And I assume that is a problem that all
a problem that all the Total War games have. You're throwing
like 8000 good looking units at each other. Dude, this game runs like shit.
This game runs like shit. Are the models detailed? They're really good. And you can turn it down.
You can absolutely turn it down. But like if you want it to look like really good,
it is going to choke. Like I am throwing a beefy PC at it. And I had to turn it significantly down
to get it to playable. And because like, I mean, Warhammer 3 1 is going to have like the same
engine. So I assume it's just this is just going to pass into the, you know, this problem is going
to go away, right? As as Warhammer 3 will probably be a game that people play for like 10 years kind
of thing. But it cracks me up because Warhammer is expensive. Warhammer figures and Pewter figures
and the books and all that is expensive. And I'm really glad that they were able to fucking take
that experience onto the PC or actually really getting to play it for real is also expensive.
Right, right, right. If you're, I mean, dude, like if anything, they understood that this
is a fan base that is willing to spend money. Therefore, we will not deny them their wishes,
you know, looking at screenshots where, yeah, I, well, I guess one thing is I was expecting that
because I've seen total, I've seen Rome Total War, but when I'm looking at the Warhammer ones,
I guess I was wondering if like, did they make it so that you can get like quadruple the amount
of units on screen by modern standards? So one of the craziest things that I discovered is one
of the biggest performance hogs is a setting called unit size. And it's literally how many
units are in a formation, right? And the crazy thing about that is that it affects the way the
game actually plays balance wise. Because the game is balanced for the large unit size. If you go
ultra, you have like 40% more fucking individuals like enemies on screen, which means shit like
magic is less effective because the size of spells doesn't decrease. Oh, that fucks with
balance entirely. Yeah, if you want to play like if your PC sucks ass, and you you're running on
like minimum unit size, a army unit that has is supposed to have like, you know, 130 guys in it
has 20. Okay, okay. And that affects how far you can literally spread them apart.
PVE only I'm assuming though, you know, yeah, okay.
So one of those things like what's it balanced on guys? And the answer is large. So even if you
run it at max, max, max, max settings, turn that one down to large, I guess.
It makes me like I have blown how much have I played it in the past couple days?
I want to say like 10 hours, and I've gotten nowhere, like nowhere. Like I've just been I've
been just been trying out like the tutorials of a couple of the reason that's a surface scraper
because it's because it's so fucking complicated. That's also the part I didn't even mention.
The part that I didn't even mention. So you have your army mechanics, and you know,
all the different units and all that shit. You ever play Civ Wolves? I played Civ.
Okay, so in Civ, Civ five, or Civ six, I forget what we're up to now even. I remember there was
shit like, okay, everybody has the unified tech tree, and you play as Rome, so you get free roads,
or you play as the Vikings, and you can you don't need to research, you know, Navy, you can just
embark, right? The difference between your factions here are like they have different
buttons on their UI, because those mechanics just don't exist for the other factions.
Okay, they're just so different. Okay, they're there. So the fucking political shit for elves,
it's only for them. The slavery mechanic for dark elves, it's only for them.
The corruption mechanic that blights the fucking land and screws a public order,
that's only for the fucking chaos and rat people. And the one that really blew me away is like,
okay, the rat guys can attack a settlement, fail, and then build under the settlement
in a hidden underwear, and build a structure tech tree underneath, and it's invisible to other
players. That's fucking sick. That's really cool. Man, yeah. And there's a whole tech tree just for
that. It's unique race, like abilities and unique HUD and unique UI. And then I'm looking it up,
and I was like, well, what's the final ability on that tech tree? And it's a bomb. Of course. And
it just blows the city up. Yeah. That's like, okay, that's crazy. And they're all like that.
I look forward to you popping that shit on stream, and having every movement of your
mouse cursor be criticized. Like you move the mouse over here. What the fuck are you doing?
I literally said on Twitter yesterday, I'm like, hey, gosh, should I stream Total War? But it would
be next week. It would not be this week, it would be next week after I've already played it for 20,
or whatever, right? And one, I got like almost ratioed by comments of people just talking at me
in terms of like, you play the rats do it. And then out of nowhere, I haven't talked to them in
a while. It's like my phone just starts to explode. It's like, okay, there's Commander Claw, there's
Mothman, there's like all the fucking Warhammer people just smell it. And go, oh, dude. Yeah, one of
us, one of us, like it's okay, but you have to understand, you like, when it comes to like,
you've got the speed of light, then you've got tachyons, then you've got the speed of one of
us to fuck you, you're doing it wrong. From what the speed of one of us into fuck you, you're doing
it wrong is first. And then comes the speed of light in distant third, like do it. So
game's great. I highly suggest checking out Mandalore's video on it. It's an hour and 20
minutes long. He goes through every faction and how the game works. Big thanks to Mothman and Claw
for talking to me about how sieges work and shit like that. I'll probably talk about this for a
couple weeks. There's there's a there's a lot here. Wait for a fucking steam sale. It's really
pricey. If you want to buy more than like the baseline entry. And the games don't go down in
price because they become DLC retroactively. They have never gone down in price. And you
didn't have to go down to games workshop. I sure didn't. God, I didn't want to go down there before
all this, let alone now. There is one last detail that I'd like to say, which is something that
cracked me the fuck up last night, which was looking into videos about Total Warhammer 2,
right? How do you control units? What's the history of this faction? And if you click on a video
that says Warhammer in it, there is a 99.9% chance that you will be hit with a British voice.
And that is hilarious. Moth explain, explain this shit. Let me know. It is so,
so much more popular out in the UK than it is here.
That I believe it. I believe it instantly. Well, it is a UK franchise. It is from and creative
assembly are in England. Okay. But like, it is, it is so much more popular. It's crazy.
Cracks me up every single time. It's Oida Gavne. He's how you control the old key boys.
It's like, all right, this is a good video.
That's pretty much it for me. I'm going to be playing a persona this week. I'm also going to
be guesting over at on Peach's channel. We're going to be doing some Dark Souls 2. You check me
out over at twitch.tv slash Pat stairs that you check out Peach over at twitch.tv slash
peach saliva. If you're listening to this live, she's probably going to be streaming Phoenix
right tonight as well. Oh my God, the fucking cat has is sleeping with his eyes open and is
twitching at me. Jesus Christ. Apparently they're in top 100 UK companies. So it's a massive deal
over there. No shit. Okay. Okay. The orcs, man. The orky boys play a game of great spot the spot
the FC merch and any of those videos can see which which soccer team they they're supporting.
Is that why blood bowl happened?
Was blood bowl like a fucking attempt to make like people in the UK give a shit about American
football? Hmm. It's not an implausible theory. It could definitely be something like that.
A lot of people are thinking so. Could be. Oh my God, you look at I just went to blood bowl to
every single fucking DLC is you want to place your chaos dwarf team. Do you want to play as
Nurgle? You want to play as the necromancers, the undead, the north lizard man, wood elves,
Amazon, Elven Union, goblins, halflings, ogre, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera or real Madrid
or United FC. Yeah. Okay. Maybe I when I first heard about blood bowl, I thought it was more
American football, but I don't I don't know anything about it outside of that.
There was that Kickstarter the other day. All right. Well, what's up with you, man? What
have you been doing this week aside from going to jail? Well,
from back in to back out. I am. Oh, I heard. I am. Are you now afflicted with the curse of hate?
I am now just about done with Naruto in the literal sense of the word and in the end in the
metaphorical sense, because we've pretty much hit we've hit credits on nuns for. And so with that
has come a clear picture of what this full story entails. And I am now up to speed on most of
the details. Of course, there's a lot of fine details that I was not privy to. And that was
my that was my my decision was to catch up via CyberConnect because I was not going to sit and
go through all of the. And then people could sprinkle you with the importance. Yeah. I was
not going to go through the years of footage. And, you know, it was a mistake to do that final
session all in one day, because boy, was I absolutely destroyed by the end of it. It was
a double day of streaming. And yeah, we ended up cancelling, getting the fighting games over it.
But I also didn't know how short the game was. It is ridiculously short compared to
previous entries. But that's also probably because it really is one a map with a series of it's a
timeline with a series of timeline battles to go through no running around in an overworld.
And it really is like the last two arcs, so to speak, are just back to back in Naruto. So
I didn't yeah, I didn't realize how how little there was to get through in this final game.
Because again, the previous entries were much bigger, longer journeys, you know.
So did you read about the plan? I read about the plan and so much more. So here's what's up.
A lot of people, as you said, sent me what they felt was the important details. And there was a lot
of pausing to understand what the fuck was happening. And there was and to be quite honest,
there was too much. There was just too much. And at the moment, I need distance on Naruto,
because I'm fucking just done. I'm done. And I can't those all these extra shit to go to go
scrape and figure out that I just don't have the energy for right now. I'm going to need some time
for it. But yes, we when it comes to specifically the plan, the the the Huga, you you just as real
ninjas, we went through, we went through that entire like meme. And it was pretty good. That's
one of the best things to come out of the fucking the lore, the memes and the fandom. That's really
that was really strong. If you had if you had to pick one thing about the finality of the Naruto,
and the way that the story turned out, that was your favorite. What would it be?
Actually? No. Oh, not like your favorite. Well, because I can tell you what mine is.
They just let him go. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. Yep. So we'll get there. We'll get there.
Right. They just they just let him go. Here's here's how I here's how I want to kind of frame it.
Right. Here's how I want to frame it because it's very important to understand.
It's not very important. It's the least important thing in the world. There's the way Woolly thinks
about Naruto is the most unimportant thing ever. But but the way I got out of this thing is
is there was a portion of cool shit and it was always being enveloped in garbage. Right.
That dude kicks that other guy really kicks him really hard. Hold on to that bullet point.
Hold on to the bullet point of he kicked him really hard, though. He kicks him super because
that bullet point is exactly it. It's there is a thing here. There is a reason why all these years
later I kept wondering what happened to these characters and where it went and what what happened
because the cool shit was always there and it was it was always a fun impressive dumb shonen thing
to to to get hype over, especially early on in. And then when cool shit happens, it's super cool.
And when not cool shit happens, it's awful. And when and like and then there's a whole bunch
of shit that's not awful, but just completely bland and uninteresting. And so what ends up
happening is the overwhelming majority of Naruto ends up being either neutral bland or just really
bad. And the highlights of cool shit are far and few in between. So eventually I just tap
out because I'm like, I'm not dealing with this anymore, right? Even and and and like this is
like there's first is the filler in the anime that make it awful. But then I tapped out of the manga
as well because I was like, this is just getting I'm I'm well, the manga became filler after a point.
Like, you know, I saw the people holding up the volumes of like, this is pretty time skip Naruto.
This is post time skip Naruto. And here's how much of it is the ninja war.
Almost like a generic shounen, perhaps, perhaps, but whatever it was.
You know, I did I jumped out out of it were as there were other shounens that I didn't jump out
of. But I was there was always a ratio and the way we've ended in this world, the ratio of good
to shit is the exact same. So like, I feel like I've ended up in the exact same place with the
exact same energy I had when I started, where like, by the end, if I didn't hit credits,
I would have tapped out there. I would have just quit. There's a fact. In fact, there's a point
in which in the final arc, where if that was not the final arc, I would have quit again.
And the fact and the only thing at that point where I'm like, well, you got to see it through
is because you know, the credits are coming soon after this. The final arc with Kaguya,
the moon princess just coming down, waltzing in and just aliens and literal aliens show up in
the story. And then you get the backstory of the aliens. And they're just Naruto and Sasuke again.
And I'm like, this is garbage. Like, this dude has nothing. He has no ideas. And and like,
I at that point was just on this full on like, Oh, man, how wrong and how abusive are these
relationships that these characters have with each other. And, you know, you kind of are just
like looking at it with this like, this is a horrible, emotionally manipulative situation
these main characters are in. And no one seems to care about about the your bad actions. And
there's no sense of real punishment or at the very least like gravity or weight to evil.
The story goes to like some weird, immoral places in which in the Naruto universe,
like evil is genetic. So there's okay. So there's behavior is okay. So from your parents.
And the crazy thing is, is that in any other story, that point would be a hyper like,
focal insane thing to talk about, where you're like, the Uchiha are born with the curse of hatred,
they are genetically predisposed to being fuckwads, because when they lose something precious,
their brain activates a special unique circumstance that and the chakra unlocks in them and makes them
emotional and kind of crazy on a genetic level. Right. That is a psychotic detail to add to your
story. But it's not even because it's the only way you can justify, well, they all had to go. No,
really, no, really, no, really. But it's such a hand, they all had to go. But it's such a hand
wavable thing in the grand scheme of it all. Except for the fact that the second Hokage,
who basically endorsed the cleansing of the Uchiha, is a very hard to argue with,
stance. It had a very hard to argue with stance where he's like, he's fucking each Uchiha.
And then it's like, yeah, no, you weren't even wrong. In the end, deep down genetically,
that was that they were they were a problem. Right. But never mind that, never mind that.
The part that I was focusing on so much and the part that bothered me so much is that
the core of the story is the relationship between Naruto, Sasuke and Sakura to some degree. And
this whole thing, like the idea of it's like it's like poetry at rhymes, like that's that's
it stops being funny. It just becomes sad. Because by the time you see the eighth spiky haired kid
yelling at a serious long haired individual that is that is grumpy and evil. And and you just like
you completely die. You just fall out of your chair and die because like they've drawn
no fewer than like eight or nine different Naruto's in the past, present and future.
And then then they act, then they go in to say that, oh, no, there is a repeating history element
here where these are reincarnations of Yin and Yang. But then. Oh, so it's pointless. It's pointless.
But then there are still Yin and Yangs that are not part of this reincarnation line
that still look like them because I don't know. I don't know what else to draw.
I don't know what else to design. It's it's so ridiculously upsetting. And the fact that villains
are never made to really pay for what they do or live up to their own fucking crimes
is beyond infuriating, right? This they just let them go because if you talk someone into feeling
sorry, that's good enough. And you have to understand you. What if they're not sorry at all?
So starting with and like we're going full spoilers here, whatever, I don't care. If you
don't want a spoiler, you don't want spoilers for Naruto to stop listening, obviously at this point.
But like from the moment the Akatsuki is introduced into the story, right? And by the way, that reminds
me, you can tell that like I get a vibe here that it's like the way the story is written is
they show you a shadowy figure and then he says we're going to get there and then figure it out.
So they go shadowy figures and robes Akatsuki. Who are they? We get there, we figure it out.
And then the moment we figure it out, here's a shadowy figure. It's the sage of the six
paths and then who knows, right? Shadowy figure. And then eventually when we get to the sage of
the six paths and he's there, they go, okay, here's another shadowy figure. It's the fucking mom,
you know, and they literally just jump from one to the other and try to figure it out as they go.
So from the moment the Akatsuki are introduced as these these big fucking isis collective of
villains, the you go through this thing about how how fucking evil they are and how they're
killing everybody and how they don't care and whatever. And you go through each one of them
and each one of them has their own personal sob story because of course they do, right?
Yeah, I have to.
You know, with like, okay, you know what, maybe I'm generalizing, perhaps there's some
exceptions in there. But for the most part, a lot of them end up getting these things of like,
no, no, no, okay, about half of them get these moments of like, we're going to show you why
these these people are, you know, sad sitting on the swing. The QB literally becomes a friendly,
good guy hanging out with Naruto, right? But when you go past all these evil Akatsuki members or
whatever, they get let off the hook at their origin point because they were being manipulated
by Madara, right? And Madara is the true evil that was manipulating them. And then
Madara Uchiha. Yes, exactly. Right. So you go, okay. So Naruto talks and it turns out these people
were not evil. They were just manipulated by Madara. Okay, cool. And then you go into the Madara story
and then you find out that, hey, you know, that's not even really Madara. That's Obito. And Obito
is the one literally responsible for murdering everyone that night with the QB, murdering
Naruto's parents, threatening to stab the child. He fucking literally like he does everything bad
in the story from Naruto's birth point forward. It's ridiculous, you know? And
he is just another kid who had a sad past who we feel sorry for. But really, he was also being
manipulated by the real Madara so he can get let off the hook, right? And there's a panel
that and the fact that he's the coolest guy. There's a giant collection of all the fucking
things that he did, including a panel that describes that 40,000 ninja out of an 80,000
ninja force died on the battlefield fighting against Obito and Madara. And hey, in the end,
Toknojitsu got through to him. So now when he gets double crossed by Madara in the final moments,
because he decides to switch sides, Naruto goes, no, he's the coolest guy and is totally just
hand waving all of the sins of the past because it's okay. Like dead as far as the I can see.
It's all okay now. He's cool now. He's good. He's a friend. We're all good. Never mind the fact
that he was doing it because he just never got over his crush when he was a child, which apparently
I've been informed by that it's possible that he would be unable to enter the infinite Tsukiyomi
that he created. So technically he was being selfless about that, but I need to see a source
on that. I don't know how valid that is. That might just sound like wishful thinking. But nonetheless,
as far as it goes, his entire motivation appears to be I didn't get my dick wet when I was a child
and that upset me. So now I'm going to make everybody suffer. Right? Great. Cool. This fucking guy
then gets the complete hand wave for all his sins and it wasn't his fault, man. He was being
manipulated. So now we go face Madara and Madara Uchiha. Let me get it straight. Don't get it twisted.
Madara Uchiha, who by this point in the story has taken the meaning of stacks on stacks on stacks
to such an extreme by even shown in standards that I wouldn't even know where to begin comparing
anyone to him. I've seen the meme of like the most overpowered stupid bullshit ever.
The dumbest thing about all of this that frustrates me so much is that
characters just get like Sasuke and Naruto just get shit launched at them because they're main
characters. They just get powers dropped on top of them so that new action figures can be made
practically. It's almost like that idea where you're just looking at like suddenly he's got this
new ability and suddenly the Sharon Gan can let you do that. Right? So when we cut to the final
battles where they're piloting skeleton Gundams and fighting against meteors in the sky, you're
like, yeah, sure. Why not? The eyeball lets him do that. Why not? And Madara is the kind of character
where he's doing the all for one type of idea. So sure, he's building this up. He's building up a
I'm taking all these powers for myself. But then you do the exact same thing for Naruto and for
Sasuke. So Madara Uchiha and shout outs to
Button Zohulhan, HB, Janzo Zhuandu for this because it's a post that he didn't hear us from
watching our thing. Is there an anime character stronger than Madara Uchiha? Yeah, I'd say yeah.
I'm referring to the Rene Tensei Madara Uchiha with the eternal man Gekyo Sharon Gan and the Rene
Gan Dojitsu's with the Ritiko path's ability equipped with his gun by and control of the Jubey
and the Gedo Manzo a complete Susano with Hashirama Senju's DNA implanted into his chest
so that he can perform Mokton Keke Genkai and Yin Yang release Ninjutsu as well as being extremely
skilled in Taijitsu and Bukijutsu. Fuck this character. This is the most stupid shit ever.
This is uninteresting. This is trash, right? You create a character that is literally unbeatable
so unbeatable that apparently Kishimoto himself says I don't know how to end this. I literally
don't know how to beat this guy so then they don't beat him. A new MacGuffin shows up out of the sky,
Kaguya the fucking moon mommy and then she just kills him instantly free and goes I'm the real
big bad and you're like that's the most not like he like not only is that the most unsatisfying thing
ever but it's like you literally wrote yourself into a corner you couldn't get out of with this
god form dude floating over and doing all this shit then she just shows up and goes and you're
like this is where we go then right and then all right I have a stupid question because I'm not
super familiar with the ninja details if she's able to kill the unkillable big bad in a second
how are the heroes able to kill her well because they're the chosen ones
why couldn't the chosen ones kill that other girl well we that he was too he had too much
he was too strong so that gets to so I mean there's so many branching paths to go with it but it's
like in the in the sake of fucking having a some sort of like like okay so the the chosen one thing
to put a put another thing in the in the in the fucking a pin in the board okay um he has like
resistances to all types of jutsu ninjutsu and all kinds of genjutsu oh yeah so why not yeah right
the only thing that works against him is uh sage jutsu sage energy which is a special kind of energy
from the original source and of course good old punching and kicking
so we grab that pin from earlier where you say he kicks the guy really hard and we put it on the
table they're in the end game battle they're having crazy fights and uh kakashi and obito
are teaming up and the fourth kaiju shit the fourth hokage is running around with naruto and
they're both fighting i'm sorry the fourth hokage is running around with naruto and they're both
fighting but he also has a qb inside of it and when he died he learned how to use its maximum
power so that when he got reincarnated he knew how to do it exactly as good as naruto knew how to do
it so the zombie fourth hokage is just as skilled in his qb uh training because even though he died
seconds before it was put into him and then he pops out knowing how to do everything all right
so wait so there's two cubies or cubie gets cut in half actually at birth that's what happens there's
he's two of them yeah so whatever so then when all that is happening and gara is a good boy gara
is great gara is the like exemplary like leader that actually knows how to care about his people
and motivate and be a really good guy gara is great um they're all fighting again in this pocket
little uh fucking crater area and then mito guy shows up who you remember as rock lee's teacher
yeah so i don't know how much you remember about naruto but when you're looking at the running time
in the movie and there is like barely half an hour left and they're fighting the final crazy god
level entities and mites guy shows up there's only oh i know exactly there's only one reason why
that guy shows up right what is that you open up the fucking gates so what happens finally
can see well what what happens when you do all eight so he shows up and i'm like yes this is this is
it like we know you we know we're about to get out of here we know that the fucking you know we're
about to fucking wrap it up show us what happens guy gets in and they're like yeah all of this magic
doesn't work the only thing that'll work besides this crazy sage bullshit is the people who kick the
tree really hard they can kick the dude really hard how's this gonna work kick the fuck out of him
he walks in he opens up the fucking death gate he pops that fuck he pops it it's it's as hype
as it's supposed to be it turns into a dragon ball character it's as overwhelmingly insane
as it's supposed to be and he beats the shit out of this god in such a fat in such a fashion
that the dude is like this is amazing you're the strongest dude ever i'm having fun fighting you
this is hilarious like madara's reaction to guy being that strong is so fun and interesting
it's probably the it's the most interesting thing about madara to me it's the funnest thing it's the
moment where i actually like him because he's like oh my god i'm untouchable but you're touching me
this is great this fight is so much fun and then guy is like exploding right literally boil
blood boiling out of his body oh i've seen it and then he does his final attack night guy
which is just the ultimate super atomic dynamic entry it's a dynamic entry that like is basically
a fucking stratospheric giga drill breaker and he blasts half of madara's body off of him
in a like terminator-esque uh t-1000 wreckage moment and um because he's unbeatable he sits
but he gets back up and goes oh man you almost killed me that was fucking rad dude and that was
his final energy and really and truly well you know um tune into woolly versus for the adventures
where uh i give what i think should be the real ending of of naruto uh by the way which uh i think
was universally received as an upgrade to the story but that that aside uh he goes oh fuck you
almost got me bro that was great and then uh gets up and just goes back to the story being whatever
trash it is and my guy is you know cooked um so you have like this moment where you're like
that's cool right you're like yeah that's the stuff that i liked before there's that nugget of good
shit and then someone sent me the statue that they made of him which is apparently this crazy
five hundred dollar statue of him with the eighth gate open and it looks ridiculously cool like it
is high quality insane shit and i'm like i never in a million years thought i would half consider
looking at a naruto statue but i'm looking at that thing going i'm of the opinion that like
like i'm sure yours was a little more detailed but if guy had just kicked him and he would have
just died and it would have rendered like all the other characters stupid story lines and
upgrades pointless that would have been way better that would have been way better spoiler alert
how now my how Naruto should have ended yeah there you go uh i want to take that statue and
just put a little plaque at the bottom of it that says the end but regardless it's like guy didn't
and it's like all these story lines about eugenics and the tree powers and hard never
stop kicking the tree they cut to a flashback of guy and his dad training and then they walk by
kakashi and his dad and then kakashi's like oh man who's that kid oh that's the loser that
didn't make it into the exams he failed he's not great at all and then kakashi's dad goes
nah dude look at him his arms and legs are busted up as fuck he's training way harder than you
and if you don't get up to that level he's going to be way better than you and kakashi's like oh
man i bet i bet elie's video about uh Naruto the self-made hypocrite is like extra funny now
with this new hilarious because apparently right and this is the thing that actually it took a
second when people were yelling it out and i didn't quite understand everyone yelled
neji was right and i'm like right about what and it's like back in the fucking chunin exams
when they oh my god you're super when neji says destiny is preordained you cannot
break it you cannot defy it what you are is is given to you from the start you have the cards
you're dealt you you play with those cards and naruto says no right rock lee shows you work hard
rock lee shows you that hard work can overcome anything and an underdog can can doesn't have to
stay an underdog and he's like i can do it with just my belief and my ninja way right and and then
he beats neji and then neji's like oh man my philosophy i don't know whatever but except naruto
was preordained to win because he had a million powers that he didn't including the most important
one in that he is literally the reincarnation of the moon god's son and sasuke is the other
reincarnation of the moon god's son and the war that they fought against each other is an endless
cycle of hatred that has been repeated over and over and they're just the latest so that when
they die and get their fucking asses blasted before they die the literal architect by of the story
the white the man in the white suit sitting in the chair who says hey neo what's up right
steps in to go hey naruto what's up hey sasuke what's up here's your god powers go do the thing
and then they go yeah we're chosen one big heroes preordained by destiny and neji who
fucking sacrificed himself to save naruto is spinning in his grave because holy fuck
it was destiny the whole time the whole message was nonsense so i mean obviously there's a million
pieces of shit writing everywhere right but in terms of my own personal experience and of things
that have gotten popular and in part due to plague's excellent video i can't think of a single work
of fiction that literally tells you what it's about and then spends a decade shitting all over
it's a sensible message naruto literally looks at you reading the page and goes hard work is all
that matters and then you read a story for a decade in which everyone is genetically predisposed to
win and it's all faked and no one's hard work accomplishes shit it shits all over itself but
not before um aiming the ass sky high and blooming so that it gets everywhere including
onto uh the ass of origin uh you have to understand so you get that moment right then you get the uh
he was the coolest guy the coolest guy the coolest guy right dead bodies everywhere and then you get
the third factor and uh definitely won one in a very incredibly satisfying way which is um
sasuke just going yeah sorry because when we get to the final final final moment right and it's
all said and done and they use their newfound god power to defeat the moon mommy and like there's
a weird moment you have where um a person that naruto does not know is talking to him about
their problems and then uh someone else that's a villain is talking to a black zetsu is talking
shit to naruto about like hawaii what he's doing is uh is pointless or whatever and how useless uh
the this whole effort is and he and naruto goes wait but why would that old man do that or why
would he have lied about something he's has a moment where he literally just yells at someone he
doesn't know about someone he just met and um and i got hit with a fucking shotgun blast of this is
a filler when naruto takes a boat to the tea country meets some random kid and he goes oh man my
village is so poor and we're we're hard starving but i don't know whatever the fuck help me on my
my my quest because there's a evil man here and naruto goes oh that's a horrible injustice i need
to help save you right and then he gets in there and then the villain says some bullshit and goes
ah this shitty kid was garbage from day one and then naruto goes i don't know any of you guys
but i feel bad because that reminds me of when people said i was shit so i'm gonna help you
filler uh a filler country and i'm gonna save everybody even though i barely remember what
your names are right that he has one of those moments where he's yelling at the god and none of
these people were known to him but five minutes before and you go this is canon filler this is
completely like him in any filler episode except it's the real ending of the story they they kill
the god who cares it doesn't matter um and then like naruto never actually matures past i was lonely
as a kid fuck you ever it eventually becomes but i had you though and now you've turned away
and i'm never gonna give up on you even if i have to kill myself i'll never let you go
and sasuke's like get the fuck away from lee leave me leave me alone and naruto's like no
i will not leave you alone i will change you i will fix you or i will die trying i'll kill
us both i don't care it's the most abusive fucked up thing in the world dude it's psychotic
it's psychotic right and then when all is said and done the infinite sukiyomi has begun the world
is already in this fucking genjutsu uh uh paradise and they beat the big bad and everyone is still
locked up and then sasuke and naruto are standing there and they're like well we need a reason to do
uh their final rival battle but they don't have any then sasuke just goes yeah you know what i've
decided right because earlier on he had a moment where he's like oh because they team up at the
end right because he's like i want to become the hokage and everyone's like what the fuck get the
fuck out of here asshole right you never cared about that and then you have sakura who had her
moment of being like um hey naruto turns out i really loved you ha ha ha and he's like you're
full of shit you belong to the streets you know and so now when it all comes back around um this
other girl uh uh karin who was on sasuke's team uh who by the way is literally he he's she's a hostage
and he shoots through her to get to the bad guy and she has a moment of oh my god what
and everyone goes holy shit what and he does a shoot the hostage moment right the actual kaiser
sose the actual kaiser sose the i don't give a fuck about my peoples and it cuts to his face
being super fucking lost and evil and that girl uh gets saved and then sees him and goes oh my god
no but he's so cute though i still i i oh i'm still worried about him and like it's again you want
to talk about abusive insane shit the attempted murder doesn't matter because evil actions plus
hotness morally great so uh at the end sasuke's like i need a reason to fight fuck it revolution
i don't know what i'm gonna create a revolution i'm gonna burn the world down for no reason i'm
gonna become the whole kage and i'm gonna kill all the other kages and villages because i don't
know i he doesn't know he doesn't actually understand or have any real motivating point
but he just goes ah i'm going to do it and then naruto's like i gotta stop you genetically evil
brain and then sasuke asakura sakura is like i love you please don't and then he goes oh you're
so annoying and then he turns around and he fucking uh like flash step falcon punches her
by the way and this is the point right before there's like this is leading not too long like
10 minutes later they're gonna be there's gonna be a setup for them to become a couple he falcon
step flash punches her in the fucking gut and knocks her the fuck out just straight up right
and goes you're annoying and walks away from his future wife and then naruto goes to fight him
and then they fight and i'm like okay listen so this is gonna be a big old crazy flashback
moment budget fight and i'm sure on a level of like straight up technical it's gonna be cool
and it was it was that 133 shit right it was the new it was 133 shit redone and then they keep
cutting back and forth to it and all that stuff where they clash and then it creates like another
reality weird sphere thing but they're fighting for no reason but they're fighting for no reason
and so i'm doing it but i'm paying attention i'm like what are the words you're gonna have
for each other at this point right because i will accept nothing outside of complete and utter exhaustion
or even like again i rewrote it in the moment myself i think i said something to the effect of
like if they both agreed that they're like hey man look at the end of the day we had our differences
you want to be hokage i want to be hokage i don't think i can trust it to you
so we got to prove it with battle i would have said fine but instead it had to go to this
insane non-fucking uh uh uh threat and and and so they're fighting and naruto and sasuke are
saying literally the exact same thing they've said the entire show there's nothing new to be said
there's no new perspectives it's just i'm your friend idiot i'm gonna save you and he's like
don't care about me shut up leave me alone i hate you so much i'm gonna kill you and by the way
by the way if either of them dies no one can be freed from the infinite tsukiyomi they both
are halves of the hero and they have to put a seal together for everyone to be freed so
they literally are fighting and like now i'll fight till i die or till i kill you and he's like
i'm gonna kill you they're endangering the and they don't care that if either of them dies
that would be the literal end of the world by the way so at one point naruto gets uh gets uh
beat and drops in the water and sasuke thinks he killed him and goes yeah ha i did it and you're
like you just ruined the world and he doesn't really give that much of a fuck and then naruto
has memories of all of his friends his friends such as uh the the kubi and uh obito
right and i i'm i bet you if you freeze fraymit orochimaru is in there somewhere
picking him up all those words and pushing him out of the water and then they fucking have their
big final clash and then they they do their their their uh resengan excuse me um chidori versus um
resengan and they blow their arms off i didn't know they blew their arms off i'm like oh that's
cool good for you idiots right and then eventually sasuke is like oh god fine fine i lost and then
everyone's like yay and then they hard cut to a conversation where kakashi the kokage is like hey so
you know how old you did all those crimes and you were a big old i'll cut ninja al-qaeda member
and how the moment you go missing you're supposed to be executed on site but actually uh we're gonna
let all that slide because you helped us in the final battle at the end so it's all good it's all
good bro uh no problem and then he winks at sakura and that's that and then like and then and sakura
is free to you know get pregnant with the person who beats her and yes love her yes absolutely
abuse wins abuse wins um not to mention of course that earlier in the story uh orochi maru who comes
back um uh right after um the itachi fight with him because by the way itachi's a fucking he's the
only solid dude and he's and he's dying words are sasuke could you stop being a dick be chill
his dying words are sasuke chill the fuck out dude i love you i'm out of here chill and and like
and sasuke he's like takes that and goes i will have no chill and then orichimaru gets ripped he
he brings orichimaru back and orichimaru is basically like i have no way to win any of these
fights so i'm just along for the ride i'm here to watch and uh kabuto gets back it comes back and
kabuto at that point is as just as bad as evil as orichimaru because um he uses all of orichimaru's
powers to literally create the zombie army that they they fight by the way he he was the one
resurrecting everybody so he too has a body count of thousands on his hands but hey uh he got caught
inside uh the isanagi isanami counter and he was then forced to see the error of his ways and he
has a tragic past where his glasses came from a nun when he was an orphan and uh after acknowledging
his tragic past uh he found himself he was freed from the um from the you are stuck in this imagine
if you got hit with gold experience requiem like diavolo but if you changed your way of thinking
you would be free so eventually guess what he changes his ways of thinking and he becomes free
and so he's hanging out and then you're like yeah okay well you know uh tons of bodies on your on
your hands tons of blood on your hands but uh you know whatever it's cool i'll actually have a problem
with having to go to purgatory and having like your evil burned off like that and having like a
genuine change if being in that is like horrible well i'm gonna assume that it was real bad perhaps
but i mean we don't know how but like the time frame in which we were we were given was that he
was gonna be stuck in there for what feels like an eternity and then he shows back up i don't know
maybe like a week later where we're so you know less than a week probably a couple days
wasn't that bad whatever the time it took for sasuke to join the battlefield and then and then
capital to show up later you know i i don't know but it was it wasn't it was yeah hours it wasn't
even a day hours he was in the loop for hours and then he comes back so there you go oh wow he had
a couple hours to go oops my b you know so we just we let it rock you guys and and and and it all
leads to a point where i'm just like in conclusion here um kishimoto i need i have to i'm like you
you know that thought where you're just like who hurt you who was the friend that left you when you
were a child that never ever acknowledged you never called you and you have so many words for them
and they've left you on red and they didn't block you but you can see that they've read your big
messages and they're not acknowledging your existence in any other way and you're just like
god damn it let me get my final word in and they won't let you and you're like i'll forgive
anything you know if you just talk he was obsessed with someone at some point because the level of
obsession that comes from Naruto's persistence is so insanely unhealthy and it leads to i see what
people are saying i see what people are saying i'm gonna get i'm i'm looking it up right now
at so you it leads to Sasuke having a moment where he's lying on the ground with his arm blown
off where it looks like he's reading from a script that says Naruto in the end i was wrong
you were right i should have listened to you the whole time you were there by my side you cared
for me the whole time i don't know why i didn't see it earlier but it really was always about you
and for that i am sorry i accept your friendship right like a like like literally a the kind of
message you read with the energy of there are dudes with with there are dudes standing behind you
ready to cut your head off read this message fucking insane and and and and he just like yep
okay this is the words i'm gonna speak in Sasuke's mouth apparently through the words of his brother
is what i'm seeing here apparently him and his brother had a falling out his twin brother who
was also a manga artist six six six satan i do remember that he is his his older twin brother
yep that he had a manga that he that he tried to get off the ground and it didn't really go
anywhere but i do remember when the other kishimoto showed up so whatever the relationship
was if that if that's what it was then so be it but it really just screams i will not let go
of someone who doesn't want anything to do with me and then this manga is a way of forcing that person
to say i am sorry it was you you were right i was wrong and so that you can sleep at night
and it's crazy it's so unhealthy and and and do you get the glimpse of the future where hey man
boruto is hanging out and serata is hanging out and orochimaru's kid is hanging out and you're
like oh yeah okay no he's fine you mean it's whatever it is all of his all of his all of his
his fucking shit doesn't matter we don't care because the puppet master had a puppet master
and that puppet master had a puppet master and that puppet master had the real puppet master
and the real puppet master was not even really a person so much as she was an entity kagui is not
even a she's not even a person she's just this weird alien thing that barely taught like she talks
but they don't even treat her like they treat her like a force almost because she gets to take all
the blame on her if anything but it then it turns out that she was literally running from other
aliens in space and when they landed on the moon oh when they landed on the moon uh they created a
whole colony there that led to of course uh the the the the biakugan and that everyone who has eyeballs
that are special in this world is literally descended from an alien but you know that's neither her nor
there so i have a i have a question that i'm pretty sure i know the answer to but i want confirmation
because you've been digging everyone had a puppet master and that's why they get off right and no one
is allowed to take responsibility for their actions they have to have a source of why they
did the wrong that then absolves them of the wrong and puts the blame on the other person
uh as uh going up an infinite chain so what is a rochimaru's tragic backstory puppet thing
i don't know apparently is it because there isn't one i don't think there is i don't know
all i know is he was a shitty kid he had involved he he was involved with danzo at some point
but we never got to see anything that shows you a rochimaru's tragic swing story people are saying
alternatively his parents died or nothing he was just evil um he's just evil all right i have a
follow-up question well you can answer this and i'm also like danzo also does he even apologize
once uh so again going off of what i've seen on camera he has a fight where he's fighting alongside
um he's fighting alongside sarutobi right and i don't recall ever seeing an apology i don't
recall ever seeing an apology but the closest thing you get to one is in a fight where he's
he's side to side with uh with the third and then he goes and basically he's going it's
interesting to see how this will all play out i am glad that i'm still alive that i can see
how this will play out and then sarutobi is like oh you know even though my student got lost it sure
is nice to fight alongside him once again and that's it the end of his sentiment is well i want to see
how this goes and that's the closest thing to an i'm sorry you get and they just let them go
he's good to go um he is from my knowledge and i've i've i've dabbled in this shit right
um as far as i'm concerned he's actually like the worst out of all the villains because his his
goals are so transparent it's like i want to live forever and i'll do whatever i need to do to do
well that almost makes him the simplest yeah but like he does he does
like they're so you he's he's so he's oh yeah oh yeah danzo is danzo is really
fucking garbage though um danzo is the straight up like just gets away danzo is the like how
quickly can we murder these babies right it's not enough that we get that we get it done we
need to get it done efficiently because we need to get as many baby murders in on before the clock
is is punched but but but but like he's he's the worst one and his goal is obvious and he never
apologizes and they let him go for for what appears to be no reason and in boruto he's still doing it
and everyone's just cool with it sure there's a really interesting moment by the way in the story
where because they never really acknowledged that while the end of the world is happening
literal ninja ragnarok is going on the moon has turned into the infinite sukiyomi we are all
at its behest they never really acknowledged what's happening to you know the rest of the
countries including the fire country because ninjas are all hidden in the leaves are hidden in the
rocks are hidden in the sand are hidden in the mist they're just little small parts of these larger
countries that have their own economies leaders worlds and samurais which uh sasuke and they're
real real countries which sasuke uh murdered a whole bunch of cops by the way a whole bunch of
samurai cops just like that for no reason so he's got a body count um there's one moment where they
meet the leader of a country who's just this apathetic meh i don't know who cares i'm bored
like pull full on like um um you know uh fucking bureaucratic uh autocrat right bureaucrat slash
autocrat and like they just kind of have a moment of like yeah these people are like they don't care
about what's happening here but the stakes they're fighting for are like they're summoning meteors
to crash into the planet like it is becoming jenova it is becoming the fucking absolute end of the
world and it's like yeah the ninjas are having their little scrap over there who knows they never
really acknowledge what the hell what the hell was happening outside of if any of this this realm
you know dude there's so many fucked up things about this story the forgiveness angle is one
that i'm like i don't i always get yelled at whenever i i misattribute chalking something
up to like cultural differences but i can only think of cultural differences being a part of
why forgiveness is such a problem in Naruto i think there's something about like well that
had personal history that's i have no other idea what to peg it on because it just seems like the
willingness to forgive horrible atrocity is something that uh they that might be a cultural
thing that is okay that you know i guess kishimoto's cool with kishimoto sounds like the kind of guy
who would deny like japanese war atrocities right up until the point where someone shows him a video
and then he's like but they realized that they felt bad about it on their deathbeds when they were
85 years old yeah that's basically the direct analogy we have to forgive that's basically
the direct analogy i drew when i was going through that a moment discussing it in the thing it's just
like there's something here about people doing horrible things and then getting the complete
slap on the wrist at worst or absolutely no acknowledgement of their crimes as a standard
and we just moved past it especially if it's a character that people you know like
it was really interesting you look at a story like attack on titan which uses a lot of like
world war two uh like germanic even sudo nazi imagery and is just gluttonous with atrocity right
and the characters involved are all staring at a mirror going oh we're all becoming tainted garbage
like whenever this conflict is over we kind of all have to die because we're all horrible
like even the characters in the universe are like oh we're not coming back from this
in in what in attack yes yes yes yes exactly like the characters are doing all
crazy shit but none of them even attempt to justify their actions so i they're just yeah no
and there's there's literal there's literal moments here that are uh you can draw parallels with uh
fucking op like i think i said operation paperclip and unit 731 are like these yeah yeah these
moments in history where you're like hey man you did a lot of awful shit really horrible things
did you write down the results of your experiments sure did can i have those results
are you gonna prosecute me for my crimes not if you hand over those results here you go
clean record thanks a road tomorrow
um yeah man it is it is exhausting it is exhausting but you still get those nuggets of
cool i still like the fourth hokage i still think the fourth hokage is the shit he's rad his
abilities are great and you get to see him using them in fun ways even though his power-ups make no
sense you find out that as they were dying they said to the third host to sarutobi please take
care of our son and he says i will hard cut to naruto on the streets being picked on and treated
like garbage while the third is in his big house with his big family ignoring the child in the streets
he's like checking up on him in the crystal ball ah he's fine and he literally said he literally
said he would take care of he said he'd take care of the kid to the dying mother and then
tosses him in a fucking dumpster and goes on about his life because he's got azuma and he's got
konoha maru and they're the real things that matter um yeah yeah in the end uh the only pure
relationship is shikamaru and tamari and shikamaru continues to be the best he's got pure legend of
the galactic heroes energy and i love him it's like how i tricked you moron i didn't realize
until i saw that post that that legend of the galactic heroes is a big old space opera starring
shikamaru and that's why it's my favorite thing ever the guy in charge is that
tired brilliant and overall like pretty light-hearted doesn't want to be there easy going
light-hearted sarcastic but military genius yang wen li is shikamaru it's the best shit ever
it's the best so take him out of the context of this show and put him in a series where the world
is actually smart and good and you get my favorite anime anyway um yes and i've seen i've seen little
clips here and there and i'll dial i'll delve in to fucking round out when i'm not sick of tired of
this shit but at one point um i saw a clip of someone where like maruto walks home and he's
got a little pot and in the pot is the the one tails the shukaku remember the thing remember
that beast with gara and then he shows it to his daughter and his daughter goes it's so cute oh my
god i love it and the shukaku is like hey put me down ha ha lolololol and he's got these cute
little legs and he's got these cute little arms and he's got his cute little head sticking out of
the pot and he's a buddy right because all the tailbeats are buddies now right they all became
they all had their tragic past and they all they're all friends now so the the the one tail
shukaku is in the pot and he's like like getting hugged as a little mascot like meowth by naruto's
daughter right and it doesn't take a minute for it to fucking kick in that this is the same monster
that threatened to murder everyone gara knows and loves if he ever falls asleep
so gara has to stay awake forever because the shukaku will take right to the point where his
eyes are blackened like mascara but it's not mascara it's just bags because he doesn't sleep
because if he sleeps the evil monster will take control and kill everyone this is the cute mascot
that naruto's letting his daughter play with
lest we forget i would so this is the kind of thing where naruto's been running for a while
and you get the feeling that kishimoto just literally forgot that that was a thing
i don't think it's that he forgot i think it's that he doesn't weigh sins
he doesn't think the past matters naruto chasing down sasuke no matter what evils and
horrible shit he did no matter how trashy was is that is showing you that naruto has
a goldfish memory and he's really just going forward on his feelings and he refuses to accept
reality and the bad guy by the way obito is literally trying to change reality because his
girlfriend died and his girlfriend fuck off she didn't even like him uh the girl he had a crush
on that didn't like him because she you know uh she fucking she like yo kakashi is the real man
right um she died and he wants to change reality so that like it's like she never died then and we
can we can all pretend it didn't happen and in the meantime your main character is refusing to
accept the reality that his friend wants nothing to do with him is no longer his friend and has
become an awful person and in the end that persistence works out as long as you're a chosen one the
chosen one is the most tired fucking trope of all time i'm so fucking sick of it and we can move on
so naruto is really good and you should read it it's goddamn fantastic
okay um i think i i think i got that nicely summed up uh please look forward to the conclusion
of woolly versus naruto ultimate ninja storm 4 otherwise known as back out
yep uh that's coming up that's continuing on woolly versus as well as dokapan kingdom go
we don't even need to fucking get into it it's it it's the most stressful thing is everyone still
we're all alive we're all stressing harder than ever like winning or losing we're all having these
but well really mostly me and reggie but min is he's not showing it he's good at not showing it
but we're all having panic attacks it's horrible um that's what's happening and apparently some
people have started streaming dokapan on on on twitch as well so hey uh not only have i affected
the the price of the used game but uh people are getting in there so that's fun that's fun um
congrats you've ruined society we'll see we'll see uh that continues over on woolly versus and um
we'll also be starting a new lp as of uh monday uh excuse me as of tuesday which is tomorrow
because uh you know like i said we finished up on naruto so we'll be starting something new
uh and um we have checked in and i and i and it looks like it is all clear and safe to resume
cotor to so we will be resuming cotor to this wednesday as well uh we have uh given it uh well
well well past um any sort of uh clearance time you're supposed to give it in terms of uh recovery
and and such um at ultimately it looks like uh there is it even confirmed what v was he did
not have any he did not have any fever he did not have any sort of uh direct symptoms he only had
flu like symptoms and those were basically the the the cdc recommendation is that you give it 72
hours without symptoms and we gave it three fucking weeks um so uh at the end of the day we're looking
yeah looks like we are we are with the all clear so that will be continuing as well
and um you know all the usual all the good stuff over on uh woolly versus so you can check that out
over there twitch twitter etc hey before we get in the news do you mind if i take a bathroom break
because i need to splash some water on my face because that should just kind of suck my no problem
that did take a while that naruto shit it's just just yes and you know they just let them
as hey i have a question i have a follow-up question before i walk to go to take a pee like a year ago
when you started to get back into naruto i think i said dude they just let them get away and you're
like i have an inkling yep did you think i was talking about fucking orochimaru yes
because but did you think they would just let them get away for no i mean it it it's it's psychotic
but at that point they're chasing down sasuke still and trying to forgive him so you know what
i mean like nothing's outside the realm of plausibility to me that like that i mean you
just talked to me for like an hour about yeah but like nothing i have heard can top like they just
let them just let them go yeah no swing no swing no swing music no sadness and sorrow and and you
know and and like that what that did take a while but you have to understand this was a very long
journey for me very long journey if i'm not mistaken i'll be back started fucking three
four years ago so all right brp i gotta empty my problem i'll see you guys in a second how do i
do this where's the oh there it is okay
hello hey woolly let me ask you a question as we get into news which i'm gonna go
news right you're doing a telecom character like noise right like
be bad but i but i but i but it's more it's melded into trash right
over time like the news jingle yeah okay what's up yeah so
there's there's a big news story this week there's a couple there's a couple of talkables
uh i just have to ask
why is it that in the company of justin wong
ultra david broley legs in vane ricky ortiz seo perfect legend
meister ace king offsuit apology man big bird jeff the hero harada young ptk and maximillion dude
am i being included as part of the fgc and you're not because i had no take on it when that
happened why did you have a take on it oh it's fine
you know whatever i fgc i'll rank you now there you go now that's your first thing what are you
doing talking about that's your first event hub story i've been on event homes many times
did you not know that i'm sure you were buddy well i got my late take my late take yeah was
it that shrine that you tweeted because that was pretty funny power line adapters baby
there's what you got did you build that is that yours or not i bought these you found no i bought
these oh man yeah you got the candles on yeah i did oh that's good yeah i did that that was a
that was a setup yeah i saw it and i yeah and uh uh you know since it's pretty hard to get
materials these days i had to look around the house to see what type of decorative items i could use
and uh the little um flowers and and wheat uh were you know they're the only ones in the house
those were the ones that stef preserved from the the field where i proposed so uh you know i'm like
hey let me just make sure to keep these away from the candles and not burn them down for the meme
let's not burn away burn your house down for me let's not burn away the house and the and the the
uh the sentimental value of these flowers let's not roast them down for the dankest memes uh i
didn't i didn't but uh it's a pretty dank meme yeah so uh in any case that's you know that's uh
that's yeah the evo online news is it's time it's popping off it's happening it's i feel like you
and i have been prepping for this news story for like three years i mean you've been complaining
about fighting game online forever and now oh my god now everyone has to live it so you know the way
that uh this is gonna be uh going down of course is going to be not considered official right so
the first thing to the first thing you gotta realize is no one's gonna take this as a official
evo even though it's got the name on it they're gonna do everything even though it's the most
official even though it's the most official it's ever been it's it is this is going to be put out
there as a fun replacement event don't take it too seriously folks why bullshit no it's it's it's
you know and and it's the real it's the first evo this is it's all been in preparation this is
the real one evo starts now listen evo the spirit of evo is an open tournament this is an open
worldwide tournament evo begins at quarantine yes okay the uh we've been waiting for the shoot
of a drop on this one for a while because they've waited really long into this yeah really to announce
that evo was being um cancelled and i guess they wanted to confirm the online component but
but evo was announced to uh be cancelled for 2020 and it will be replaced with uh an unofficial
online event so this is definitely going to be here's it's a fucking blow up no matter what
happens because you gotta call so because you gotta call it unofficial because um the genre
has not lived up to a quality that supports an online official event there are there have
been online official events but most games cannot do these some games can so most games can't i'd
like to drill down with slightly more specificity on your statement the genre in specific cases
has lived up to the promises of an online tournament however none of those games yep yep
are the ones that are being played in evo this year you're right you're right you're right including
one mvc two yep which is unbiable currently
the genre has solved these problems they have been solved you're super right the
flagships and the banners that represent the most popular games in the genre
are the ones that are failing and that exposure has never been more real has never been more hard
it's a you want to talk about you would uh uh uh a punctuation at the end of the rollback sentence
that has been the news stories growing in power this year we've been covering for 12 months now
this is the fucking exclamation mark right now now you want your fucking now you can't leave
right now you now you can't play offline you're stuck in here with now you're stuck in here
right we told you to leave you didn't want to leave now you can't leave right now there is no
offline now you gotta play online did you do your due diligence right this is a judgment day
of your games netcode and it's coming for us all and it'll be very clear because we don't have to
pretend very we don't have to pretend we don't know what's up it'll be very clear that like most
of the most popular games are going to be absolute shit shows of events anything on that main list
is going to be in trouble with the exception of those who have a done their fucking homework like uh
i mean again mk has good online it works they built a system that god mk 11 is gonna be there
well and as i was talking to reggie about on stream the resurgence of uh killer instinct skull girls
and thems fighting herds which is now out of early access and full launch that's 1.0 good job
they made it congrats to thems fighting herds main six did it good guys um the games where the net
code works suddenly have all the relevance in the world and suddenly all the endless annoying
chatter that would come from your your say jams and your ultra davids and you know i mean like i
feel like we yelled about it for quite a bit and like anyone who understands in your keats and your
and your um best of bonds and you know what i mean like uh mike z you would usually say all of these
voices kind of situation puts it under a microscope or a um magnifying glass you know right that's the
expression you would usually use this is the Hubble space telescope exactly pointed at this problem
and now all of these individuals max standing loudly with the fucking blaring speaker going
holy shit we have an answer we have an answer z put out a goddamn like treaties on fucking
wi-fi just a like beautiful a week ago it was super ghetto filmed in his room low light but he
explained exactly why why wireless is always bad it doesn't matter how fast your connection is it
matters that it doesn't even matter what you're using it for it's that it drops its consistency
not speed a huge huge thing that people still don't understand and you know when i see those threads
of like explain it like i'm five it's like yeah like people really need to have this broken down
because you know they don't always share and get around the word doesn't get around i mean that
that keats video traveled it traveled pretty far but not far enough apparently you know so um all of
this comes to a head now where you cannot ignore its girth nor its gate you cannot ignore that you
made a game you didn't give a fuck or you just ignored it or you just did things the way you
always did your online sucked you made no attempt to address the complaints people have been making
for months to years about your game and now when evo needs to work online it's going to make your
game look like shit and it was all your fault this is incredible catharsis because we've been
complaining about this for a long time i've been complaining about it since i had to play third strike
on the 360 emulation like forever right it's so stupid but the problem was always first of all
not a single one of these games is from anywhere but japan this year at evo and japanese devs go
ah it's fine they shrug and they go that's fine right and i i feel the decision makers the decision
makers but i the other decision makers i feel that the reason why it's so easy to shrug and
say it's fine is because it's not visible people complain right people get mad maybe even sales
go down but it's not like everyone sees it pat you remember sorry go ahead finish your point
because i have they're gonna see it now it's that's all i had one more sense this is unavoidable to
watch you have it will be very very visible uh you see that clip where uh they're the official
nintendo smash tournament has some fucking lag in the middle of the match and they cut away to the
announcer is going oh looks like we're having a little bit of an issue here but uh don't worry
this is uh only happening on the um the stream side of things that's just our production uh the
players will are still playing with no interruptions whatsoever so don't worry about it and they
literally just lied to you pretending that the players weren't lagging in game saying that the
players are experiencing for every game for every match uh it's it's psychotic um like the top three
games at evo this year are sf5 tecan and smash bros right it is astonishing to me because all three
of them are going to fall apart in different ways sf5 has the netcode rollback shit done badly
where many many matches in top eight are going to be teleporting shitfests unwatchable garbage
tecan seven their top eight has people from fucking the west coast of the u.s korea japan and
pakistan with delay base netcode you're gonna see earth wind godfists come out and you're gonna
wait for five seconds to see if the fucking guy dodged it before it happened not unless you and
then smash fucking smash if the connection is bad enough it'll fucking drop you and replace you with
a fucking bot and that bot could win that bot could win evo not if you not if you pray and retweet
my holy tweet not if you retweet my holy tweet then you're covered no internet in the world no netcode
in the world no fucking connection is gonna make tecan seven from mother fucking pakistan to san
francisco work i want to give uh i want to give a hearty shout out to the kill sage uh fgc god
who said on april 26 today in skull girls i played some people from canada europe
saudi arabia and brazil the netcode patch is excellent join us i am shaking with excitement
i don't know if you heard my hands are trembling i don't know if you heard but they found a way
to make the netcode in skull girls better i don't know if you heard but they literally went
actually i literally didn't they went oh shit yo we could make this rollback even better
and they ficking and they fucking patched it and they made it even better dude you know what the
like part it's it's insane about good netplay is for skull girls and fucking killer instinct in
particular those games in the fgc like mentality or zeitgeist or whatever they're old and they might
as well be dead right i bet you a hundred fucking dollars if i loaded up skull girls right now i
would be able to get into a good match in less time than it would take you take me to get into
a match in street fighter five yes that's the nature of good netcode is it doesn't just mean
the matches you play have a better consistency and quality to them it means you can match up with
more people by making the matches more consistent you can open up the amount of people you're allowed
to connect to um which means a community can survive on what 2000 world much less than usual
you know 50 dedicated motherfuckers that want to hold a game on their back but can't connect
to each other can't forever can't do anything yeah so when you talk about visibility and and and
you know the nature of uh how you can uh out of sight out of mind a problem in development
it really is interesting because like it's almost a little bit of like remember when
we'd hear about like um garbage news from like uh atlas treat and their treatment of the uk
okay yep forever and there's a recent guy on twitter complaining about the sega just forgetting
that nordic countries exist yeah exactly right like all of those issues are these perfect things
of just like yeah like fuck that region right it's not whatever we're dealing with this and
we're dealing with some of that and whatever you know it's hey i'm gonna do an impression
are you guys ready for my impression here's me pretending to be every single video game developer
that's not cd project for the past 20 years all right here he goes hey poland suck it
that was my impression thank you everyone damn damn you know polish was a list on the
on the nordic languages localization qa that we would do it was there they did have it
e figs d ppsk you know um but anyway the uh so you have these little things where they just like
out of sight out of mind these areas and for the longest while they would have um
for the longest while that you'd have these fucking uh uh devs that were just like yeah this
is our way or the highway this is the way we've always done it you know the deal we're repeating
the same information at this point seth kylian came out and told us guys they just don't really
want to play along they don't care they have a way of doing things that's rigid and you can't
really penetrate it it takes a while to convince them of anything what do you want me to fight for
you know and so um what and then when it came to just people stuck in their way stuck in their
ways stuck in their ways decision makers you know that force others who you know can try their best
to convince but they won't get their words across and look when it came down to arxis we
literally found out that they were they were arguing with each other they were arguing with
each other the people making decisions had more sway and were basically saying no we're going to
do the net code we do which is delay based we're going to stick with it it's fine they saw no
problem with the way things have been done in all previous games they saw no issue with any
of the other games at the moment they're the decision makers and they're like yeah we're
doing what we've always done and like internally fights were happening you know and you made a
tweet to the effect of like oh to be a fly on the wall you know when yeah it might tweet that that
was to be a fly on the wall when people who said it's fine watch their games literally fall to
pieces on the biggest stage they could ever be on you know i would love to hear like the energy
that the few that are fighting for net uh for for fucking rollback are assuredly some people
at capcom at arxis that are like like you think you think we're getting excited yeah
to be exactly exactly imagine that's what i'm saying being the guy get in a meeting screaming
at someone in japanese the annoying guy that they're so sick of that is trying to get the right
thing done so that the game is better and they're not listening to you and now this happens right
it is totally your day it is absolutely your victory to have when this all falls apart
hey guess what that guy whoever the fuck it was whatever group of people it was it couldn't
have been one person right at arxis they won their battle but it wasn't guaranteed to go forward right
this evo with fucking dragon ball and grand blue just falling to shit they're good they
they're locked in so their decision will have borne fruit the one guy was probably not one guy it
was likely a group and that group five ten people that group of people at arxis were able to take
the sheer numbers of surveys filled out at arc revo and after the beta
and coat themselves in an armor of it and go into those meetings they built a fucking
power armor out of the amount of survey results they got because that shit stacked to the ceiling
everyone everyone made sure to say rollback matters netcode matters right and uh let's let's
not you know let's not get it twisted uh the people responsible for making this survey
certainly had questions laid out yeah in such a way oh yeah that these points could be made easy
do you understand sometimes when you want to ask an audience something and make it very clear to
a negative uh authority what your point is you want to i don't know maybe lead maybe lead the
witness a little bit and you kind of lead the audience a little bit by going hey here's a nice
big old question for you how important is netcode to you you know what i mean i like your phrasing
as coding themselves in armor right there's a there's a old there's an old phrase uh in in like
an old legal phrase that is the law is a shield it's not a weapon right uh those surveys and that
feedback those were shields right that so that they could get in to that meeting and not get
dismissed out of hand and you know and actually get their point look how many people care about
the videos of grand blue fantasy versus top 16 that's a sword that's the ability to walk in
and start losing your mind and start going i told you you mother fuckers i fucking told you
i mean reggie came on and talked about how his copy of grand blue he tried to play with a dude
in fucking moray al-nad and couldn't get a decent match going because it was not
fucking it just didn't work and it's like dude i was gonna pick it up just to fuck around with it
and realized i probably would never have been able to get a good match and just like it's so stupid
this is this isn't even the the like oh i want a game to get back into fighting games it's like no
i was literally gonna be like i would have picked it up for like an afternoon right and be like oh
cool and i'm like oh i'm not gonna get that afternoon i'm not even gonna get like fuck
i mean you know it's we say it every time so you know god bless if you if you're sick of hearing
it but it's 13 years old it's a solution that's 13 years old and we're still here so yeah so here
we go this is the punctuation and hopefully hopefully i am rooting for catastrophe i'm rooting
well i'm rooting for like that so i want the ashes i want commentary i want i'm rooting for
catastrophe so that from the ashes is born a new understanding that we need that to stop
we need evo 2020 to go as poorly as possible netcode wise for games that are still on
fucking delay based to make the point clear and i bet i'm not the only one and i bet there are
players out there that who knows what they might do when when streamed on a live match
maybe maybe make a point of some kind anything is possible okay get your legs switches out
so there were there were a lot of amazing takes from the evo 2020 but i think what might be the
best one is i forget who was saying it but it was like i hope the guy who made tiny re you with
infinite meter yes yes yes yes yes yes like eight inch tall re you with infinite meter tool
assisted for grand finals tool assisted for fucking grand finals absolutely i you know what i want to
see i want to see fucking jay wong and whoever the fuck else and i want to see someone pull a
cord and have the match go whoops uh no winner there was a there was another fight i don't
know who they've got to do a do over there's another tweet i saw were just like can't wait
for grand finals featuring uh low tier god and seroblast on alternate accounts
you know who knows who knows how the fuck are they going to police multiple entries well hey buddy
notice notice i said unofficial yeah there you can't it's done it's unofficial it's funzies
oh my god it's funzies all right that's what i'm getting at how you you can't pull so i'd like to
announce by the way i'm gonna enter evo this year what i'm saying you can't you can't dude like
there's no anyone that's like no it's gonna be official it's like how are you gonna make it
how are you gonna prove that somebody didn't pass the fucking stick between rounds
you know look you're gonna have a video of that every person and that you upload to slow down the
connection further what do you put more do you just can't let you know what i mean like it's done
it's done it's done dude there's those those those hot potato videos of people playing in marvel
where like they tag out and tag characters and then like literally swap you know one character
yeah that's cool you get you literally are gonna have that shit you can't fucking stop that it's
this is this is fun this is funzies it's nonsense dude it can't be possibly official because people
competing from their couch cannot be regulated in any way shape or form there's only one thing
that takes the wind out of my sail on this because this is i will be very honest this is
legitimately the most excited i have ever been for anything ever relating to fighting games
sounds like it ever like there's no quite like it this is the this is the most awesome hilarious
shit ever the only thing that could make it better is if one of those nine games was skull
girls or killer instinct so that you get the contrast so that you could see it yep yep so
everything would be falling to pieces and it'd be a nightmare shit show and the clear and they cut
to the camera showing the ki tournament and it's fine yep the clear answer is there in the games
that work yep totally totally and it's fine and there's commentators and they're just chatting
and it's normal you know i just it's it's a world that like you're allowed to be a smug as possible
if you made those games because you're just like yeah i don't know what the rest of you guys are
doing you know there there are there are tiers of smugness here right we're on tier two no we're
on tier three tier one is uh mike z and the skull girls gang the ki gang and the mk 11 gang the power
rangers battle for the grid people the cannons etc right people who fucking did it and it's done
then you have the arc system people who were like fucking do it do it you pussies
and then at tier three is the people who've been beaten the drum outside the business for
however long i mean if you want to give it a tier four it's the like the fucking the cannons that
invented it you know what i mean well no no i put cannons in tier one yeah okay because they
what tier four would be somebody who owns the uh uh red bars go home t-shirt right
but that's that it's it's psychotic because it's like literally it's like the cannons the people
the the evo makers are also the people that made the solution and you know what no they're zero
get ignored because they made it and they're running the tournament in which they're forcing
people to look at how right they were that's what it's it's it's crazy it's crazy right now
they made the answer and now they're staring at the results of like just stubbornness where it's
like yeah yeah no um you could have used our fix you could have used it you know do you think um
do you think um they're gonna be smug enough to come out and be like
you know what would be the dunkest dunk ever
invitational or closed beta for the fucking league fighting game alongside evo broadcast
probably too soon for that but it would be a pretty slam dunk that would be like yeah a
way to go knife in the ribs anything any honestly any game that would get high profile
coverage that has rollback would stand apart that's it any game that that you know okay so what
do we got we got mk 11 got skull girls we got ki we got uh uh power rangers battle for the grid
we have that fucking wacky animal fighting meme game i mean so mk we got dems fighting her mk is
a weird one because it like it is it they're not rollback but they but it works nonetheless
but it's good um you want to talk about get last play two in there last play two got in there
mark of the wolves got in there mvci got in there um more infinite nax is beating that drum real
yeah fight of animals all of them they got in there yep yep yep uh sam show five got it
updated as well a lot of retro games got it in there you could just run it you could just run it
man it's the best it's the best outcome oh i'm stupid i i was wrong about mk 11 it is rollback
for the longest while i completely misunderstood that start sorry okay so yeah you just get them
all lined up and you just show off like good evo online evo could have been evo online it works
edition yeah yeah yeah and and and it and it really it really really really is like it says it's
strange how hard that line is drawn between the west and japan western games and japanese games
having just it's like it's different industries it's like there's no there's no overlap in
fucking a chasm you know um yeah so that's what's up we'll see we will see
all right well let's get through a couple other stories going on right now
what's up what's up i'm glad you're glad i'm glad you're having a fucking blast with this
of may 8th 2019 the new update is here on steam some godrector's adjustment and we changed our
netcode from delay base to rollback that is from the fight of the gods twitter
yeah fight of the gods the guys they you know fight of animals oh that's the same same people
oh wow same team they retroactively they put fight of fight of animals works uh roll with rollback
and then they went back to fight of gods and they put it in wow i mean if shit the thanks for rolling
back jesus first version of it didn't have any netcode so yeah totally incredible totally
hearing good things about that battle for the grid update i'm hearing good things about it i'm hearing
uh power rangers is getting fucking sick apparently the game is is looking mad nice right now so
well thank you darl appreciate it so anyway um i think i think that point has been made
and it's very clear i really do want this to be the um
what the fuck was it called in uh in um in view for vendetta the man from
um the root from whatever room i don't know sorry i didn't see it the man from room five
i want the man from room five to happen where the whole thing burns down the lab burns down
and the fighting games all roast and then out of the ashes a rollback
back based game just rises up and goes
i got it i'm good i'm all right just burning burning make it happen
uh right that scene is so fucking intense dude okay look so we got some other news let's
roll with it real quick um all right let's do it step one this happened uh actually uh
last week but have you heard about wastelanders
wastelanders is the new update to fallout 76 oh that that is the new update that fixes
thousands of bugs uh as far as i'm to understand and introduces a bunch of new content millions
yeah well hey we don't talk about the database we just say lots of bugs fixed
however unfortunately alongside that major update came a clock reset because
a new major bug was found according to reports from some players some npc companions from
wastelanders are stealing weapons and ammo off of dead players and you can't get them back
if a player is unfortunate enough to be killed next to an npc there is a chance the npc will
steal the dead player's equipment and use it for themselves without the option to take it back
this can be seen as a major inconvenience if players were to lose rare or powerful weapons
it's not exactly care what causes this to happen uh they're looking into it
clock oh clock reset good
you know it's funny because uh friend of mine quiet shy recently did a video on wastelanders
i don't think she ever did one back in the day she does a lot more for him stuff but she also
dive in a garbage and watch a break and uh as the video starts one of her co-conspirators dk
points out that um there's no way for shy to communicate with anyone in that game because
it only has voice chat there's no way to type anything in that game at all it's mic only
wow mic only wow that's fucking that's so if you happen to be mute or otherwise unable
to speak for whatever reason go fuck yourself um if this bug were happening and enemies were robbing
your corpses after killing you that would and you could get them back that would be a really
interesting almost intended feature yeah it'd be cool it'd be a cool feature to look at if that
was what was happening but in this case it is friendly NPCs ganking your shit yeah and too bad
for you um by the way i have a bonus follow-up for uh that uh that audio thing uh it i don't
think the bug is still there but there was a bug that joseph anderson and mandalore described in
uh joseph anderson's video on fallout 76 way back that uh killed any potential chance of me ever
streaming it even as a goof which was the game the server crashed on them and then the game
crashed on them and the um the the fucking program was dead like it was gone right but voice chat was
still on wait the game crashed but they were still crash was dead able to chat dead and there's no
push to talk so it was global and so there was a background chat program that was completely
separately fuck oh that's terrifying that's so bad oh that's really really bad wow that's
fucking terrifying dude and there's no push to talk so chats on all the time and like no one
what if no one told you holy shit say you you had headphones plugged in so that it's not coming
through your speakers but your mic is just going game crashes all right fuck that i'm going to bed
wake up the next day chat chat chat oops oh my god what the fuck i think it happened to uh uh uh
co carnage as well in which uh there's a clip of him playing the game and i think the game i think
he closes the game and like a girl starts talking to him oh my god and he's like what the fuck
no not okay not not okay not okay fuck that that that is more than enough for me to be like i am
never installing that if even if i wanted to oh yeah like that isn't i thought i might stream it for
just like no no that's that's psychotic like under no circumstances is just to be trusted
holy shit okay um i just spilled water other old other other uh week old story um that um
hit the desk that you know a lot of people a lot of people saw i think there's a lot of new folks
that were not around back when um we were talking about uh things in relation to this story call of
duty war zone is making suspected cheaters play together yay infinity ward put out a tweet where
they were talking about their new measures uh being introduced into call of duty war zone
players in war zone and modern warfare who report suspected cheaters
will receive in game confirmation when a player is banned and there's additional security updates
and things to match uh and updated matchmaking to match cheaters together so those who fuck around
continue to play with other people who are fucking around and they go to cheater jail
and that's awesome uh huge fan of that not the first time this has come up uh those who
remember i did something exactly those who remember four years ago we talked about killer
instincts and it's uh rage quit jail when you rage quit too many times in k i and it detects
that you have incomplete matches you go to jail and jail stops you from entering the uh the killer
bracket it stops you from going to the the the peak of the um the leaderboards where um the you
know you have your your your top 32 people fighting and it forces you to play against other people
as well so congratulations this is how you want to have fun you can have fun in the special mode
you've unlocked by being a piece of shit with other pieces of shit have fun together may you never
win or lose i would even go as far as to say why not even just have a cheater mode on where people
can just enter cheater mode and they can cheat as yeah cheater just have a little separate like
lobby and have you know and just go hey you want to play the game you want to cheat right over here
have fun here you go and then you go in there and then you play a couple matches and then uh you go
back to regular mode and then you start doing your bullshit and then suddenly regular mode goes away
and now only cheater mode is available oh crap so you know right off the bat oh this is where i am
i'm not allowed in here i can go play the other room hey man you can still get to play your game
no problem enjoy it with others who think exactly like you face yourself the true self your shadow
i would definitely love to hear what people who cheat would think about that
i have an idea but i would look i have an idea i would like i would like to hear like you know
people got you know when you we you know the the fucking deliciousness that is the salty
forum posts of banned cheaters and and rage quitters and such whenever we get to read those it would uh
i would love to know if they see being matched up with other cheaters as any different from being
kicked off of a game is there a difference is there a difference in perception where for example
instead of being angry at the company for making them no longer i'll be able to play the game because
i have a busy life i don't have enough time i just wanted to enjoy winning god fuck you for
for for making me my game no longer work for example it's it's it's i bet i imagine the
statement would literally i didn't buy this game or i don't play this game so i could play
and not win right sure sure right it's it's my right to win so if someone else were to
encounter that exact person that says i agree i too play this game to win and i am against you
so i'm going to win what does that person then respond hopefully it escalates to like a fist
fight and they both fall off a cliff it's you know i'm i'm i'm one of those people that is like
so fascinated with following the illusion until it's forced to face reality or break
so i want to know what the internal logic becomes you know if we shut our island these people
we shut our island them we take them through every single step along the way and we go all
right you've cheated you know you're cheating you want us to let you cheat all right don't ban
you from playing the game let's keep you in the game all right we're going to let you play
well you you dramatically overestimate people's like reasonable no i don't i don't it's the
opposite it's the opposite i know how unreasonable they are and i know that it's so stupid it's not
even worth delving into but i would like to know at what level this type of person i would love to
know this the nuances where there would appear to be none do you know what i mean there are no
nuances i can tell you right now because you can just look at the non-cheating version of this
which is fuck you bitch you trash guy who lost like i want to see i bet you there's only two
flavors i bet you there's only two flavors i suspect for most people you're gonna either get
absolute anger and rage or lol fuck this game anyway right because yeah it's either
absolute frustration at not being able to win or absolute apathy where you don't care about
anyone else's experience in the game right so like rage posting and or lol are the two valid outcomes
here i would love to see i would love to see just like like is there any degree of variability
in this at all and if not then there isn't you know but i would be satisfied either way
okay fuck it let him suffer let him suffer in different ways yeah start by or we just send
them to regular jail start by putting them in netcode jail and then start making their weapons
a lot weaker start making it just but slow very slow very slow you start making their hurt box
bigger oh my god no no this no willy this is the no no no fuck it don't make them play with cheaters
let them play with everybody else and just like slowly weaken them and make it weaken them until the
to like offset the cheats and then more like so that it's you can't tell you can't tell it you have
to the guy has to be playing in the same way that like you're artificially boosted in years of war
when you go online in the same way you need to slowly make those bullets do more less damage
slowly make those shields and or health like like like you know take bigger hits or regen slower
slowly make the hurt box on you bigger so that if you somebody in the chat suggested artificial
yes yes where you're lagging out but everyone can just shoot you get it like getting shot
rounding corners before you've rounded the corner absolutely just more and more little little
bullshit moments um if they detect the cheat and you become within like because you know those
cheats that they they they they they aim button they lock on so if they if they detect that you're
cheating with that if you become within the line of sight of another player you just die at level
and then it then it fakes a kill that they okay killed you know you see where I was gonna go with
is at level four you will take damage from a random direction when no one is around you at some point
oh no one you will just you an invisible bullet will come from a random direction and hit you
and and not kill you but just get you like looking around going what the fuck right put you on alert
you will take some damage from behind and you'll just be and that's it and like no one's around
no one's nearby nothing has changed on the map eventually the map starts lying to you
you eventually the map is no longer real the dots are completely in the wrong place
your own team members are the wrong color truck you go up to a truck and open the door and then
your character falls through what is wrong with gas lighting these people what is wrong why just
kick them out or stick them in jail why not have fun like imagine imagine if pub g like it took
like five six minutes to get into a match and then you got into like that test feature and
then like it's the frame rate started to die and the game would crash and that would happen over
and over and you're like oh this game sucks it's like dude at level seven the countdown to start
the game for you is slower than other players the literal countdown is fucking slower do you
there's actually a couple instances of this occurring not multiplayer games were you aware
of it was Arkham Arkham Asylum when Arkham Asylum came out on pc were you aware of what
was going on no so the devs put up a pirate version of the game and if you downloaded it
the game was missing grapple points oh i think i heard about this yeah it was like wildly
yeah yeah yeah yeah okay like like areas were impassable yes like the game was garbage yes yes
and you saw people on the forums just what the fuck i can't believe this shit is so stupid
i can't grapple it yep yep yep and then the devs are just like
you got that uh there's the series series of serious sam or if it's a pirate version of the
game like an unkillable yeah enemy spawns in every level to kill you dude it is the ultimate
godam there is no reason we can't play with our food and the concept has now been christened gas
lagging gas lagging gas lagging that's it did you invent that or did you see that no no that
was pure audience that was the universe good job gas lagging you guys you guys did it that's incredible
people people need to start with jail and then we go from there jail was just the beginning
we let you out of cheater jail jail let you out everything's gonna be jail was just the beginning
beautiful it's oh oh
oh i got a i got a uh non scientific anecdotal test for my skullgirls example
uh god twitter ran a spot test for skullgirls versus sf5 uh skullgirls was set to any region
and sf5 was set to only four or five bars skullgirls took 25 seconds to get to character
select and sf5 took 50 there you go
straight up i hope you enjoyed my anecdotal completely non scientific example thank you
calder appreciate it deadly premonition to a blessing in disguise launches on july 10th
fucking sick there's a good game to play maybe probably will it is that it'll be fun though
is that the truth or did you just lie i lie this may be an untruth
hugely lied direct sequel to deadly premonition one takes place in present day boston
but it's also a prequel venture back in time to look at it do you uh do you remember that it
takes place in the apartment from d4 it's it's it's it's the fucking dude's apartment from
d4 that they're hanging out in in boston so this is likely a sequel to d4 as well
hey in the game how do they say how do they pronounce that
pronounce what square
the square le carré
yeah probably
i don't know
le carré i assume it would be le carré yeah le carrio no i'm just reading the it says deadly
premonition a blessing in disguise as a sequel to deadly premonition takes place in present day
boston through unique storytelling venture back in time to le carré and uncover the mysteries
buried deep within the once peaceful town serving as both a sequel and a prequel to the
original dp follow agent davis and jones as they begin a new investigation into the le carré
serial murders through the memories of former fbi agents go back in time to le carré and stop
into the role of special agent york to begin unraveling the mystery
le carré i hope that game's great and also bad it will yes
yes you see that trailer sassans creed valhalla yeah man as creed val cool yeah skyrim gets another
release listen dude i have to say right there is melancholy that this timeline of
setting jumps was not what we got immediately after at ceo
yeah i wish we jumped immediately to egypt and then to to uh greece and then to fucking valhalla
because that would live up to the promise that we kind of thought they were going excuse me going
for and it would have kept you know something something going perhaps yeah fatigue would
have kicked in anyway but it really just sucks man that like now they're they're doing it the last
three games have been drastically different settings from each other but you know the this is the era
where sassans creed takes two years to come out and the games are much better for it so i'm glad
that the games they really worked on like and gave the time to uh are the ones that have the
setting shifts could you like if they if it was a sat if it was ac1 to black flag and then
fucking uh uh um odyssey what a fucking franchise that'd be cool what a franchise yeah that'd be cool
you know but then again we thought america would be cool and that game sucked ass
it's more about the game than the setting so i mean odyssey and origin were really good
didn't even come close to finishing them they're too long but
they're really good i feel like they are like a couple control tweaks away from making that
game play really well so i'm glad that the next shot is in a cool setting so uh the little big
old cg trailer that they played you know um to show you to introduce the world of vikings into
assassin's creed and they have um like a nice proper up his own ass holy war uh uh fucking um
templar talking about the barbarians and and all that shit uh as we see you know them
going to war and then um like i the the parts of me that liked the promise of assassin's creed
this is this is what fucking sucks because it's almost like Naruto right the parts of me that
likes the original the original little mmm the little gacha when the battle is happening did you
watch it the trailer yeah when the battle is happening and the dude gets up and looks over
and he sees a hooded figure and then a fucking like who is that and then a bird flies away and he
goes odin is with us and i was like oh oh the fucking of course robed assassin not an eagle but
if you go with the raven you can totally think they'd be like it's odin yeah yeah odin assassin
yeah and then i was like ah you know that's good you're good nice tyin nice tyin bird bird odin
assassins you you fit stab stabbing you figured something out there and then whatever you know
and then it's like so i i have to say something about assassin's creed which i think is hilarious
i saw that bit i had a very similar reaction and then we have a bit where uh our hero yeah viking
man is fighting the the centurion big british dude or whatever and assassins creed has become so far
away from what it used to be that i was standing there i was watching it i'm like oh man how's he
gonna get out of this and then he stabbed him in the face with the hidden blade and i didn't know
what it was for a second it it literally took me a second unrecognizable to realize like oh right
assassins creed so do you know that moment happened for me way earlier in the trailer
for me that happened when i was watching it and i was you see the vikings on the boat and they're
sailing and then like they're building up and doing their thing and the music is just kind of like
instrumental it's swelling up and then i think it might have been maybe 15 20 seconds in you get the
breathy female vocals going hey and i'm like oh god we're doing western trailer thing we're doing
e3 fucking trailer thing right and i'm like you couldn't have just not done that please we couldn't
just just make music that fits the setting and call it a day we're so done with the breathy female
vocals and it kicks in almost immediately and i went assassins creed here we go i uh i really like
how they announced this game i think it was a really neat way to announce it did you did you
catch the stream they know it was like i think was the lead artist for the game went on to youtube
and streamed himself painting the the poster for eight hours oh wow that's cool that's pretty cool
like okay guys here's the new assassin's creed that's a fun way to do it and just starts drawing
the box art slash poster nice and it's like oh cool um yeah it was boss logic oh damn it i'm stupid
hey i hate being so boss logic rules whatever i have a i have a cat to think he uh he fucking came
from doing those uh uh uh what was it called
not it was a shallon show not not shallon showdown it was these these tournaments
these three fighter tournaments there's something showdown i that slips my mind right now
he did the posters for them and then he did like a bunch of street fighter art and then just became
this fucking dude that was making official posters for marvel and and for uh ufc and it was like it
was crazy and i was just like man this dude like this fgc artist almost just shadow lu showdown
thank you shadow lu showdown just kind of built up his fucking rep from there and now he's like
god damn pro it's it's it's awesome um yeah man uh the other thing in the trailer was uh you know
you see them like walking by and it's like they slaughter the innocent and they have no discretion
and you see like a mother and child are running away from the village and the viking's like go on
get out of here hurry i'm like yeah well i i'm i'm really interested to see what it's a viking
like hyper specific five-year period they're gonna use to like dance around what a bunch of scumbags
all remember when the vikings went to the woman and children and said get out of here hurry quick
we're only here to burn the village and the men like uh i forget like they're they're basically
they're going to be dealing with a uh a british monarch of the time who i forget his name but
he has like the great as his subtitle because he was like friend to the commoners and like
like a grand noble king and he's being like alfred the great and he's like evil here
because he's fighting your characters who are in pillaging england like what what what fucking
like game of historical jenga are they gonna have to pull i don't think we're going to see it
but if we see a black viking i will give you this 20 in my hand i will give you 20 if a
black viking appears at any point in this game even if it's like the side quest guy
and even if they have a really good explanation even if they have a yasuke style explanation
for why he is there i will give you 20 dollars
that is a one-sided bet why do you have an american 20 uh it was it was it was nearby
i keep because you know how you when you go when you like i don't want to keep changing come back
with this worthless and then it's like you're like do i have to fucking change it back and you're
like no i'm gonna keep it i'm gonna just i'll just save it for next time because that annoying
dude at the airport is always really shitty about the currency exchange so you know yeah
i don't know dude anyway we'll see where it go we'll see where it go but the idea of the
kid get out of here kids get out of here right right uh just you know mercy and pillaging i believe
it was called that's what the vikings did it was all a yes it was all a a a a Templar a Templar
fucking propaganda piece how man those Templars
jerks well anyway um not much to this one but it's kind of crazy that it happened biggest
leak in nintendo history um massive dump of documents that uh basically show everything
from the wee era source code uh block diagram data sheets for every uh console uh going back
to the creation of the wee and 3ds era dsi as well um documents planning implementations apis the
full sdk um ios um implementation as well basically every official document that we had
doing our jobs back in 2004 to 2006 was dumped online and um alongside that came um
um like some wild ass shit like uh a space world 99 demos you know um um debug builds of of pokemon
blue and yellow source code builds uh gold and silver source code internal lists of everything
nintendo uh had up until that that era um 3ds document it's crazy crazy basically
everything from mid aughts and before nintendo has has been dropped online and and and it's
fucking that is a wild security leak i'd say it's one of two things but probably both things
one you know people's home computers are not as secure as the work computers that they usually
work about that especially when they're having to do work from home stuff i was talking to a friend
of mine who uh everything runs like shit when he's working from home because the company is
very serious about their security so when you send anything to a co-worker it has to go back to
the server at the office and then back out the other side to somebody at home so like it's secure
but it runs like shit right people who are not doing that yeah and i say the second thing is
that now that people's um shit is not nearly as secure as it used to be it's a great excuse to
just fucking throw all that shit up there and be like oh yeah man work from home it's crazy
it's oh man
whoa must have hacked it from somebody i don't know whoa i mean
there are well yeah it's like you eat what you're either have no idea how that shit got out that's
well there's there's multiple there's different ways to do remote uh to do work from home you're
either working on you know uh something that is remotely attached to the server or your intranet
or you can just do screen share and uh remote desktop viewing but in either case there are
absolutely security risks there's um earthbound 64 footage dude like crazy whoa that crazy shit
things that were like teased on kiosks you know that were only ever little demos like earthbound
64 like there was just like that fucking a couple screenshots and that one weird old trailer
from i think like a space world or something like it unbelievable you know um in any case uh i can
say that like with most like with fucking i'd say like 80 to 90 certainty here that this is the
type of leak that calls for an a massive restructuring of everything security wise at nintendo
or
open open book open book just tell everybody everything well i mean shit like the only
saving grace here is that this is not current but it's still you know i don't get it man like
i i know some friends of mine who are like oh it's a bummer all this leak stuff it's you know
everything's getting leaked and all i could think of is like fucking sick leak everything
i want to know about games that are going to get canceled for sure
i but are still technically in development okay uh allow me to take the boring healthy middle here
that is measured woolly measured woolly take i wish there was more transparency i think there is a
gulf of appropriate ground we can land on in between showing off old shit transparently
and not putting out source code i think source code leaking for a game is extremely wild and
extremely not good for that company i'm gonna shrug and be like okay some fucking 14-year-old
pokemon games got their source code leaked who could like yeah yeah what no i know i get it and
it was apparently it was through the iq system uh it would be but but i i get i get dude what if
scale-bound exactly fucking playable demos for scale-bound exactly right something that'll never
happen otherwise fuck it why not it's it's over anyway sure please do um and people are gonna
reverse engineer those old games to get to hack them to turn them into whatever the fuck they want
anyway you know i mean look at fucking mario 64 or mario odyssey 64 someone made mario odyssey
inside of mario 64 it's crazy but um yeah yeah i i i definitely think that it would be cool to
have more transparency about cancelled projects you know even if you don't want to talk about like
why we decided to cancel it or if you even if it's embarrassing to say that we spent money on a thing
and then it wasn't very good so we cancelled it it's not you know that's not something that like
sounds good to say but like yeah just be you know it'd be cool it'd be cool but
you know how many fucking capcom prototypes hit garbage cans
i want to play all i i wish i really wish when it comes to when it comes to cancelled
shit that we're never gonna see i'm all about it but like please please let us get the whiff
let us know i want to touch all of it i want dude i would fucking kill for
like half an hour on capcom fighting all stars just give me 30 minutes on that game man
i feel like capcom cancelled like a total of like 50 percent of all the games they fucking
started work on in that era like the ps2 era it's it was so ridiculous yeah i think there are five
reasonable fours two of them came out yeah um it's it's it's kind of wild of course you know
again the nature of leaks is that they always have
different sources and or backstories behind it in this particular case
again it seems like it came through iq so i don't know what that is that's smarty pants
the home video game console that was manufactured by iq a joint venture between nintendo and chinese
american scientist weiyan after china had made uh claims of banning video games okay it was the um
the n64 for china oh wow how the how the fuck does that link up to all this i think it's because
they shared information because it was basically it was basically like a unique console that was made
for that gen and they shared with them like dev information in games and things that would come
out uh in 2003 era whoopsie doodle that would make sense mistakes were mistakes were made
anyway so there's all that um a couple of quick things here to just touch on
so we talked about how those ultimania books were being translated last time the moment
the the exact moment that we were recording and um they have now had about a week to translate a
lot of the ultimania ff7 stuff so to uh basically confirmed everything that max there's a lot of
that uh there's a breakdown of um there's a breakdown of the visions that cloud has throughout the game
and and the exact nature of those visions i'll say that including the guest appearances and uh
there's two things one uh a confirmation that this game is uh was in fact the end of the
compilation of ff7 so told y'all told y'all last took a long time to get here but this is this is
absolutely what was supposed to be the end of that original compilation as well as a um
another confirmation that the second part of this game is in the current stages of planning so uh
they're not it'll be a bit they're they're not sitting on it immediately yeah it'll be a bit
it'll be quite a bit if they if it comes out could you imagine could you imagine it being
announced for next year like wouldn't that just well there's a weird wouldn't that be the scary
interview in there where they're like if we make the next part really small we might be able to get
it out in two years well that's what and everyone's like no one believes you please stop it that's
such an obvious lie why would you yeah so the like if i saw something like 2021 i would just
immediately be like fuck off with this like nobody wants this please let it stay in the oven for
more than i'll believe three but only if the like the fucking scope is like toned down well look
you just finished telling us all about resident evil three and how that was a remake of the third
game built on something that was they established already but it's a short ass not as fulfilling
they cut just a budget and that's not good that's not fun at all so take the time man you know
like we can sail past fort condor that one sucks but i mean the rest of it
i want to know what the beach is going to look like i want to know what it looks like to stand
and have a casual conversation with hojo and his girls just fucking sitting in the sun casually
oh man you know there's a lot of fucking goofy shit in ff7 that like after playing ff7
are that one stands out like a fucking brick to the like it's so weird or the you know because
he's just chilling on a beach with girls and you walk up to him and you guys all like oh
i hate the part where you tried to get my friend raped by a dog monster oh okay by the way
her mom's dead and he goes oh what wait crazy died you're like what
wait you're hunting down this girl and going through the whole thing of you know oh her
her dna and all that shit and you didn't even know that her mom would like what anyway wacky
wacky i'm expecting there to be some sort of like um you're walking through like a fucking
skywalk and you look down at the sand and he's there and you guys go what the more and then you
get there and he's gone i like put some guards and uh like have uh have arith like guards guards
is not enough you'd you'd fucking push you cut through those have it in a way that it's like dude
no come on if you if you go down there they'll catch us something so it's just something that i
honestly it would know but like guards is not enough of a disincentive when have roe sitting on
the fucking patio next to him fuck it why not but it can't just chill it can't just be we're not
going to go over here guys the guards are saying no because you will combo the shit out of them
in a heartbeat to get to him it needs to be him in the distance and when you get there they're gone
he needs to be ridiculous in that way i will not accept anything else you know or yes
just put a small small fence in between them play yeah exactly right a little bit of dark souls
rubble uh no man here's what is roche roche is like there you need those two are chilling with
their girls on their arm and roche sees you and he waves hey man yeah or or or uh you don't even
really see it you just you go through the area and like you see um like on a tv screen you know
here's some footage of our like loyal customers that love it and you see like hojo there in the
background being like what don't get the camera out of here you know nah man he mugs for the camera
he's like this is my favorite place to get data on vacation you know whatever the fuck and that's
it it's just like hojo was here once upon a time not right now though because that would be stupid
all right and uh lastly we got uh we get a a two piece and a biscuit here got a little combo going
first we have a rhythm first person shooter where you have to fire your weapon in time with the beat
it's called BP it's called gunjam what that was called BP it's called gunjam
what are you talking about
huh no it's a bit that would have been really really funny but unfortunately i know what happened
there are two games announced at the exact same time they're the same concept one of them is called
bpm bull it's permitted looking at the video and the other game is called gunjam
they were literally announced on the same day the exact same type of game on the same day
a first person shooter it's crazy it's crazy
gunjam is one bpm bullets per minute is the other
yeah check them out that's check them out justine trailers for both right now
it's it like like this is this we we talk about the whole like oh um weird similarities like with
uh uh they look so similar yeah yeah yeah i think i think personally i think bpm looks like it's
hitting it a little bit harder yeah me too but jesus christ this it's yeah definitely give more
attention to either of these than you would otherwise to offset their terrible terrible luck
yep very unfortunate with that it's a little bit of that that infamous versus prototype problem
but infamous and prototype were similar ish once you actually played them you realize they were
very different these look at these are conceptually identical it's oh my god i think that's so fucking
nuts personally i think bpm looks a little cooler uh just on a trailer level i like what's going on
there a bit more feels like they've uh you know figured it out a little bit on a reload to the
beat level shoot to the beat level everything that's pretty fucking sick player vet picker valkyrie
yes um similar in synopsis it's wild it's wild and it's it's unfortunate it's but that's how it
happened you know hey do you think fgc dad listens to the podcast i doubt it but god bless fgc dad
because he just put up a fucking official lineup mock-up of evo 2020 i fucking love fgc dad is
fighting herds fight of animals skull girls and go row kill it ki power rangers rival of ather and
marvel versus yes satsui no dato great minds think a rival's of ather baby fan of the podcast
rivals of ather good shit you know fgc dad rules give him a follow if you haven't life advice and
fighting game metaphors um or fighting game advice in life advice there's that too so yeah we got
gun jam we got bpm and i really do wish if i could edit reality that we oh we both only heard about
the opposite ones and had to play a little bit of who's on first and i had like a moment of like
genuine can who's on first yeah but um but instead we get to move on to the third of the of the combo
the biscuit an fps game called ultra kill it's retro style take a look at the trailer um you will
notice two things about this game one it's retro a little bit of that uh uh dusk uh kind of vibe
oh my god it's ps1 retro but there's something very important happening in the right hand corner
of the screen when the gameplay starts i'm watching gameplay right now i'm watching 31 minutes
of the of the game well the trailer i saw showed off the game starts ultra kill title kicks in
gameplay style meter pops in oh that's good fps with a style meter i think i think what might be
the wildest thing this is the first game i can think of ever to simulate the playstation ones
inability to fucking place textures on the zx because it's got that weird ripple alongside
all the lines that ps1 games have it's fucking goof i would like to see i'm sure there are others
but it's the first one that i can think of the concept of a style meter in a first person
shooter is something that like i think we brought up at i brought up at some point
jokingly mid lp i want to see what s rank looks like and then i will i will cement
my belief i need to see what s rank looks like because i have what it looks like in my head
and it looks a lot like what doom slayer does in a room but uh i want it i want to make sure
that that's what they see it as as well yeah i'm watching it right now it looks like a ps1
version of of what doom slayers up to crazy ass trick you have a tiny little punch arm nice
um yeah so that's what's up so um you know just in case people missed it those last
couple games we talked about announcements wise were gun jam bullets per minute and ultra kill
okay let's take some letters why would you emulate the way ps1 games do textures that
is the weirdest graphical because that too is an era of nostalgia we can tap into
it's so it's an era we can tap into dude we talked about n64 3d like there is a look to that
you know there is a specific look to that and it's it's not quite the same as ff7 old blocky arm
look it's a little bit different people are made of triangles you know it's it's a certain era man
i get it i get it all right
yes if you have a letter all right hey if you want to send in an email to castle super beast
mail at gmail.com that's where you would send it indeed also since we're in emails that means the
podcast will end in exactly 30 minutes or less because i am so goddamn hungry woolly all right
let's get to it first one comes in uh our list says currently listening to your podcast for a few
weeks ago and we were talking about a theoretical shame button i would just like to share with you
that burnout paradise in 2008 built in a shaming feature in an online race when you do a takedown
to another player who has a camera it would take a picture of the player who you took down at the
moment you took them down so you could see their pissed off face in game of course i'm sure there
was there's a reason why that feature uh did not gain more popularity of course i'm sure there's a
way to prevent someone from aiming there there's no way to prevent someone from aiming the camera
at their balls but the whole concept was pretty neat especially for its time that's literally uh
why uh the idea of playing of with randoms uh that and uno killed that idea forever
because there was no way to control what would show up on your screen the g i'm i'd love to see the
gdd description the game design doc has a paragraph where it's the most wholesome fun like ha get your
friends photos as they're like what oh my god i can't believe you you took me down
the burnout implementation was like extra stupid because it was people that would in many cases
be pissed off that you took them down and it would take a second or two for the photo to
actually get right so you had plenty of time to set it out get taken out and then jump up and
pull your dick out yeah takes a little bit more effort to get the the full 180 to but whole
but unless you were ready but if you were ready if you were ready you could do it easy
yeah so you know um good idea on paper no not a good idea on paper
disagree i no no failed failed in concept failed an execution uh boy um it's always it always blows
my mind when stuff like that happens because you always think that somebody is like dude come on
right like no one in the room and then i think about it a little bit more and i think well no
what actually happened was just pretend you don't know about it when you submit it to microsoft
and it'll be cool i mean that that was a long time ago before the idea of the sanitized game
experience was fully integrated i suppose uh i mean a lot i imagine somebody in there had that
idea and either brought it up as something cool or was realized that if they brought it up that it
would maybe get taken out and so was quiet it's just a little bit extra quiet there's always
someone on the qa team that knows always if there's anything i want you guys to learn from me talking
about those days it's that whatever you think uh you know was like a discovery was something that
was in a database that just didn't get fixed yeah we got one coming in from lily saying hey
fist lords ever since the arms full demo it's been my complete uh favorite fighting game
among other reasons like 3d positioning and the aesthetic um i like that it doesn't have
combos like other fighters watching evo matches especially dbfz with such long combos it seems
counterintuitive what does learning long strings of hard to do combos have to do with the mind games
i love the other mechanics in these games like cross-ups and parries and the like and i even
like the inputs it's just the combos that ruin the fun for me at least in smash i have a good
combo game but there aren't typically that long and they're easier to pull off what do you think
of combos and do you think a game could be as popular and hype like big names without lengthy
combos love and thanks from lily all right well i'm looking at a combo mechanics video for arms
right now so the game totally does it does yeah they're high level and they're very short but
they do exist and you can do them we went into them when we looked at arms on our episode of
getting into fighting games so uh the answer to this is really simple uh the big combos are there
to reward the the correct guessing or correct neutral game and the difficulty associated with
them means that it's not free essentially um another way you know of looking at it of sorts is that
they're like our games that are designed with no combos in mind uh samurai showdown is a great
example of a game where if you want no combos and you just want the reward of your decisions
and or the punishment of your bad decisions that's a game you're gonna like a lot um it gets
right to the meat of it the combos for a lot of people are a fun challenge in addition to the
layers of mind games happening and they almost do act in most cases as a single player component
to fighting games there's a yeah a lot of people like the the creative expression exactly right so
for the reasons that we find devil may cry really really fun because we're just beating up on enemies
that have tricks to learn but once you get past those tricks you can do a lot of really fun things
and by juggling them around and stuff that those games are are are fun because of that doing
combos on a training dummy can be really fun for a lot of people so um yeah like there's a there's
a lot of streets of rage four videos coming out right now which i played by the way that's good
i forgot it's it's just good but um there's like touch of death combos and streets right for on
certain losses so um so the core of the idea here uh lily is that combos getting done to you
is not as fun because you're not able to play the game in those moments and i can understand
where that feeling comes from uh but for a lot of people uh the the performing of the combo is
is a really fun thing to do and especially if you've practiced it and you've created one that
like pat said it expresses what you like personally about your character you find a unique flavoring
that's your style you put a lot of work into it and like you can you know stylishly basically you
can add a layer of style to your gameplay that layer of style means a lot to people because
remember functions versus functions is not something that is actually going to be commercially
viable in many cases like the style the way a game looks the aesthetic the feeling a lot of that
matters and so the combos are a same part of that not essential but still aesthetic based
content to the game that people enjoy yeah and that could be it can be uh flashy as
shit or it could be brain dead and the two that i can think of is like i like there are there are
combos in some of the hyper games or anime games in which you are pulling a character from the top
of the screen to the bottom and then all the way to the left like you are beating them all the way
around and that's really cool and then there are others where like magneto got you in a corner
in marvel 2 and is just doing his launch launch launch launch i mean that's an assist yeah associated
with going hey hey yeah to your assists exactly right um personally i mean there's some shit you
see like marlin pie do you know or like i saw i saw a combo guy you know i forget the player's name
but someone posted a dragon ball combo video where using gohan they they combo the the the
opponent in such a way where they literally end up behind them at points and they end up hitting
them from the left and the right just by using their move aerial movement to get around it's
insane it's so high skilled and crazy that i'm like it's the one of the most flashy stylus things
ever to see um another thing is uh x23 and marvel 3 has something called the 300 percent
it's this really really sick setup that lets you kill the first character and then have enough bar
to do her dirt nap level 3 on the two incoming characters afterwards it's it's wild i'm getting
into the weeds with this discussion but the point is is that um every time we go look at
the twitter account uh sunhigh legend he has these really stylish videos you see of like
combos in like devil may cry 5 and like that's something that feels good to do for players
right so it is something that while i saw someone say like but that's selfish right it's the same
idea of a wi-fi player that says i want to have fun at the expense of the other player no because
that ruins the entire game whereas here this is a momentary reward for doing the right decision
for making the right setup and reaping its benefit um you can remove them but it's something that most
players do enjoy and that's why it is there there are games without it though there are games like
samurai showdown where it just comes down to you know the the the few strong decisions that matter
um but for the most part uh yeah you're looking at a reward you know for for that so
uh and it's and it's mostly it's mostly a style and aesthetic based with the exception of killer
instinct where in killer instinct while you're being comboed you actively have to pay attention
to the game because that game has an entire subsystem of combo breakers which mean you can
interrupt what's being done to you counter breakers which mean you can predict someone
interrupting you and lock them in harder or um uh uh shadow counters which again play into
the exact same setup where you're having a little bit of a rock paper scissors game
while you're getting to to know your opponent and how they choose to like read and break and
extend their combos in a way so you actually pay attention while you're playing k.i you know because
that's an active part of the game so i have a video example that i put up on my twitter
at 5 57 p.m on a monday eastern time uh i put it up and it is a twitch clip to the person who
wanted to know why combos can be fun on the podcast it is a twitch clip of a dude playing online
against big band oh there you go only to get caught with a happy birthday
have him be comboed into oblivion while big band literally plays happy birthday exactly
exactly nothing is cooler than that um you know i got invited to join the band when i played skull
girls last by getting comboed by big band and then his last move pulls out the trumpet and goes
bada bada bada bada bada and then aura aura is me tuba tuba tuba tuba is me into oblivion
and i'm like i can't possibly hate that that was the most swag fucking deal i've ever gotten
it was wild you know that type of shit is so cool it's why we love these games
it's the it's it's expressive things in a fun and creative way and i'm like yeah i couldn't
interrupt that but that was that was great right um when you're playing uh so i talked about
combo breakers and kill in ki which are they're pretty simple that you just hit two lights two
mediums or two heavies if you think that's the strength of the button you're being hit with um
but if you're playing um uh guilty gear or uh blaze blue a lot of anime games there's a burst
mechanic where while you're being comboed you can hit a button to explode and pop out of that combo
but you don't get to do it often you only get one maybe two per game and you have to very carefully
choose where to use them if you don't want to take the damage you're currently taking so again
combos become an active part of gameplay when you're waiting to see uh uh when to use that burst
because people who know you're gonna burst can then stop the combo let you do the burst
and then it fails and then as they're in midair trying to get out of it you either resume your
combo or better yet you grab them as they're bursting and you do what's called stealing a soul
yes i have a follow-up that makes that happy birthday clip the most applicable clip ever
that happy birthday like the style on from big band you know what that's from you get into fighting
games it's from it is from no no no no no the original the original okay what what it is from
something called the kanopian brawl which is an online skull girl how about that that was a that
was an online match with netcode solid enough to play happy birthday on beautiful beautiful
so yeah i hope that answers your question in a long winded way but um i hope you kind of get the
point there but i understand where you're coming from uh and i would say yeah there's there's games
where combos are more exciting and engaging but if you absolutely just despise them check out samurai
showdown you might enjoy it but hey online and if you like some retro shit maybe play bushido blade
yeah there are no combos in that fucking game combos are not allowed
all right um real quickly here uh jeff says they're castle super bork i was thinking about
games and shows that end where uh it could be self-contained but it also could be a cliffhanger
you mentioned how last of us one ended in a way that didn't really require a sequel i agree
i just don't know why same thing for stuff like the first season of stranger things
where um we get the this yeah that little moment at the sink so uh it certainly implies mystery and
there isn't a super clean victorious ending but it doesn't require a sequel either could you guys
help me think of a name for this and define it as some universal characteristic type of thing
throw in more examples if you'd like it um i would go ahead and say that if you're like
it's not a real cliffhanger it's it's a false cliffhanger one might say it's a it's a hillhanger
you know no i just call it an open book ending open like the book is open for more to happen
but it it doesn't leave you hanging it's it's like the but it's i guess but the open book ending
hmm the open like i i i guess it depends because the open book ending doesn't always have to be
like i feel like the open book ending in my brain is more like well the world is ours we've entered
the we've entered the the new setting and we can do anything right that to me feels like it works
there as opposed to like hard cut to a new threat hard cut to a new threat feels a little bit more
targeted well yeah that's a cliffhanger it is it's just when it's like not really built up and it's
just that last second yeah like exactly begging for another season forcing people to forcing the
the the the the the production studio or the um the network forcing the network to to get people
frothed up from another season of something cliff baiting is pretty good plague cliff baiting is
pretty good i like that that works out cliff baiting works out because it's not it's not you
didn't set it up you know you didn't set it up it was an afterthought you filmed it in post
and it literally uh could be removed in take those five seconds out of stranger things
and you got nothing to go on
yeah i wish stranger things ended after i do too i i didn't even finish the second i wish stranger
things uh changed settings was an anthology and characters completely yeah i know everyone did
it's like a universal takeaway from it it's the best thing about it is the setting
not the specifics of the of the place and people um
sorry that came out confusing the best thing about it is the themes
not the specifics of the place and people
yeah like fargo um okay and
uh and last one here uh this is a this is one that came in um
recently well it was supposed to make it to us uh a while ago actually but the they messed up
the email address but this comes from uh an anonymous game stop store manager
i see uh dear super beasties i apologize for the length
um and i'm gonna have to self edit out some of this stuff here just to be safe here but
i catching up on the cast so i know it's a few weeks old i also forgot what the gmail was so
um sorry if i went to the wrong email address wanted to share my story with you as a store
leader at game stop in this weird-ass time i'm going to block out locations and things and
yeah yeah yeah okay um before i start the uh okay so there were stores that were shut down based on
outbreaks within them um and on doomable week let me start by saying that the area manager
on vacation the area manager was on vacation for a week at the point that the doom animal crossing
thing happened of course they were of course they were promised care package never arrived
they were told to just get their own supplies of course it didn't uh when it was prime toilet paper
hoarding uh season everyone was sold out by monday it was already obvious that uh covid was a thing
there's no restrictions on anything anywhere uh trades masks number of people in stores etc
everything except uh my store was closed in my county uh censored
had to close the day before expecting all non essentials would be closed as well
me staring blankly at a pile of weeds being traded in didn't feel like it was a closed county
so there being 120 plus pre-orders between doom and animal crossing i called my acting DM and said
hey i'm not comfortable doing this release and neither is my team so i'm just going to release
it on friday i was told that because uh it mandated or whatever bs excuse from corporate um
and it was not my usual manager so i tempered my emotions but they're also the messenger
but then uh my manager still on paid time off calls uh and says we had realigned districts
not two weeks earlier says i'm checking in i heard some concerns about launches
i explained how it's it's not how it's encouraging a crowd it's unsafe
not requiring gloves and the usual things he listened and then tried to tell me
how much safer it was because you can control the line i get that i'm still encouraging a crowd
and this being a lower income area people are very dumb and inconsiderate i started getting
a little emotional when i was met with what i felt like um go fuck your concerns uh i yeah just do it
i said if everything is closed why am i still open uh he asked if i wanted to close i said
i care about the business but at the same time my safety and that of my team is 100 percent my
priority uh we're non-essential and the county is closed um and the response was relax the county
is not closed let's not exaggerate what else is closed it's not everything i responded with do you
want me to walk out of my door and rattle off a list of closed businesses all um because i will
and at this point uh regular in the store is basically hearing me scream over the phone
it ends with me apparently having to do the launch no matter what um and uh after being
cancelled spending uh the launch had finally been cancelled by thursday after spending the
week denying trades and encouraging online orders despite uh that i was told to get
on a call at 9 30 um i'm already at home drinking because i'm losing my mind the store will be
closing uh if i want to be paid i have to either uh burn through my pay time off or go on unemployment
luckily i have over half a month saved up but everyone under me doesn't qualify for pay time off
or they're new and they don't have any so to make this so i have to make this bittersweet call to
everybody i pride myself in building a small tight team around me that cares about each other by
setting the simple rule if you're honest with me i'll be honest with you which makes it a little
easier but still hurts basically knowing uh everyone here is not going to be paid for two
plus months go in the next day for an hour a few people yada yada yada revoked censored revoked um
and uh yeah ignoring those details basically uh everyone ends up getting fucked in the store
no care packages ever arrive for those that did not um when they the main distribution center had
multiple confirmed cases they didn't do much we talked about the care packages with the rubbing
alcohol already in the sand hand sanitizer yeah um yeah they're they're they're evil piece of
shit assholes um and eventually i get a call to open my store uh i'm at a cross road where it is
risk my life to get a paycheck and i'm out of pay time uh pay time off unemployment may have been a
better option so um yeah uh now my store is doing online orders only with or without a blessing i
turn customers away for not wearing a mask this is still mandated and um my door doesn't unlock for
anyone they have to call service and this is how i'm working for the foreseeable future uh it only
opens with uh and i slowly bleed product out i'm the only key holder so uh i will not reprimand
anybody that chooses to stay safe the situation is fucked yeah uh i can't a game stop can't go bank
or fast enough never buy anything from game spot so this is this is the story of this is the story
of people being exactly held at fucking you know employment gunpoint um that's a little human touch
to what we already knew was fucking awful sorry about that it's garbage it's fucking garbage i
not only hope like i hope that god it's like i hope a speedy ability to to get out of that
situation and into better employment it becomes available you know it's it's not always possible
because you never know what the circumstances are you know what i mean but dear god does that company
need to stop existing and and do these people need to find jobs where people aren't being
told to put their fucking lives on the line you know so yeah this story was meant to come in a
little bit earlier ago uh when the situation was was hot but as we saw it play out the exact way
this is just again like you said a personal touch on the matter and um you know um redacted
details intact uh thanks for this for sharing that trash fucking trash
um i i do say that like i i've i've heard people uh pretty much confirm they're like yeah in my head
i was kind of you know uh done with this place but like that's the nail in the coffin and i'm like
good like this is this is this and this is a exactly this is a a a very you like no one's
gonna forget this no one's gonna forget this this entire company was our oh people are totally
gonna well okay i'm not gonna forget it uh this entire people have already the entire company
has been trash for years but like this is one of those bits where you're like you've you've you've
litten that you've lit the dumpster on fire you know you're wafting the winds so enjoy enjoy
um yes so with that we'll leave it there
all right well this has been a fun podcast you know what make sure to check out woolly over at
what sir no go ahead i was gonna say make it make sure to check out woolly over at woolly versus
on twitch and twitter make sure to check out me at pat stairs at on twitch and twitter oh woolly's
also got a youtube channel there you go watch the anime maybe if you like check out what maybe check
out peach saliva over her twitch and twitter also to our american pals well actually to everyone
stay safe be careful and to our american slash washington state pals uh fucking uh if you see a
bee fucking start running carriers y'all have a good night um uh oh no the fucking murder bees
dude jesus christ okay well anyway um i appreciate hey trust has been you can tell her that trust has
been regained with wholesome curbie content that does not feature well hold on let me pass that on
trust has been regained with wholesome curbie that does not feature scrotums
that does not feature scrotums and um um what was i gonna say oh yeah i that's a mistake i'm
telling you that right now that's a huge mistake well anyway i thought this was a pretty good
episode yeah i thought it's all right we'll leave it there tune in next week for woolly going to
jail for n word fraud tune in next week for a bad episode oh yes that too
uh
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