Castle Super Beast - CSB 135: The Big Down: Type 2 Bad News
Episode Date: October 5, 2021Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Melty Blood Can't Escape Ratio Cowards Outer Wilds DLCequel Wonder Years vs Wonder Years Feral Hogs vs Shakira The Big Down The Best B...latant Lies in Videogames You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Get 25% off and zero delivery fees on their first order of $15 or more, when you download the DoorDash app and enter code CASTLE2021. -- Go to http://buyraycon.com/superbeast to get 15% off your Raycon order! Developers Are Making Games for a Nintendo 4K Console That Doesn’t Exist Newly published Nintendo patents show plans for DLSS-style AI upscaling Shakira: Singer attacked by a pair of wild boars Rumor: Metal Gear Solid 3 remake in development at an external Chinese studio, early in development Time looping FPS Lemnis Gate is out now Square Enix trademarks Valkyrie Elysium River City Girls 2 debut trailer Metroid Prime 3 developer reveals scrapped open world plans. Concept dropped after Wii specs revealed. One more day until the last DLC fighter for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is announced.
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THE END
We live, it's this thing on. It is on, we are live. What's up? So I just woke up and did a,
did a like fasting blood test and I saw a, I saw a number that was a little higher than
expected. I was like, huh, okay. So I feel as if like the, the physical and mental honeymoon
is over because it's like, okay, dude, while I've been avoiding sugar for a long time now,
I kind of stopped paying strict attention for at least the, you know, the, the trip. And like,
then I woke up and I was like, eh, I don't like that number. So before that turns into anything,
it's like, all right, time to for real, real, real, real, real. Just stop fucking around.
How do you take a fasting blood test? Oh, so you have, you can get a little thing that like is a
prick on your finger. And then there's a machine that you drop the blood onto. Now I got a prick on
my finger. There you go. To those of you not watching the audio vision. He's pointing. I'm poking
my own head with my finger. He touched it. So then you, you, uh, you drop it. No, I know how to
get it. I just want to make that joke. So yeah, you prick your finger and you put the blood on
the tab and then the tab tells you you're going to die. And the tab literally has a frowny face on
it. I swear to God, I swear to God, it's always had a happy face. And then I looked at it this
time, but it had a frowny face on it. And I was like, Oh boy, they're not messing around. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's not that. I mean, it's probably wasn't hilarious in
the moment, but like from a, from a sub top level view, totally detached. Yeah. Well, it's, it's
dominating my thoughts, you know, at the moment, cause like I definitely didn't wake up and expect
to see that. But, um, you know, I mean, it all, my body is so fucking weird at times. I feel as
if it's too tall, too big. Well, there's that. But I feel as if I thought I create every time I
think I create some leeway, I really, really don't. And I think age is just the multiplier on that,
perhaps, because when I was doing, when I was doing okay, and I was like, you know, in the, in the
boxing and in the running and doing all of it at max health mode, I, I, I thought I created some
like durability, you know, and I might have because my back only exploded towards the end of this,
uh, this isolation time, you know, and, uh, towards the end of the isolation time implies that you
didn't just go right back into isolation as well. Exactly. Right. So that's the problem. I did, but
I'm sorry. I hit the microphone. But then, um, that was your, that's my first thing. And then like
the second thing is even though I was like slacking, um, in terms of just like, you know, working out
and, and, um, such, I was still always, I was still keeping my low sugar thing up until we went on
the honey mode, you know? So that's when I said, all right, let me just, let's enjoy, you know,
whatever we're going to have while we're out here and stuff. Um, you know, you want to be able to
like fucking taste your cake, right? So, um, I did toss caution to the wind there. And then
now, uh, I'm like, well, that was three weeks approximately of caution to the wind. And my
body is already giving me signs that, uh, you're a fucking idiot that shouldn't have done that.
I'm just thinking, is it possible,
is it possible that the real source of this incoming sweetness
is somehow related to an internalized chemical process
that is a result of flying kites? Oh man. Oh dude, the only cure is to kill
your newfound hobby in the fucking crib. The only, the only way darker metaphor that I was expecting
to go, well, it brings me joy. It brings me joy right now. And if it's related to that, that would
be terrible. But no, I would assume that is going to be a good thing because it'll get me outside
and moving around, if anything. Um, yeah, I don't know, man, but you obviously, you don't want to
get the bad news that doesn't goes away, you know, like the bad news type two, you know?
So, um. You need to grow fucking thicker mustache. You need to get the brimley going on.
Preemptively? Yeah, you need to cover the whole upper lip so that when you, when you say
it just really, just really bursts out from the bristles. Okay, well, that'll happen
if that gets confirmed, but, um, if it, if it doesn't, then I don't need to grow it out yet.
Oh, okay. The problem is though, when I let it rock and I don't trim and it starts to grow
over the lip, then you just look really hobo unkempt, like, yeah, in the bad ways. I mean,
that's true, but at the same time, you know, do you ever have a moment? No, you wouldn't, but do
you have, oh no, you got to finish that question. Come on. Do you ever have a moment when you ever
have a moment where you just look at your reflection at a moment in time and what you see
shocks you into never, uh, looking that way again? Yeah, I actually had that moment, uh,
10 weeks ago or whatever. Okay. Like, I think, I think I had finished up the disco Elysium
and I went to brush my teeth and I looked in the mirror and I'm like, oh, this is,
this is too similar. I gotta, I gotta go to a fucking barber and get this, because I had the whole
insanity thing going on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm like, I can't, oh, I can't become mad
scientist Pat anymore. I'm a, I'm a professional. I'm making deals. I'm a ambassador for good taste.
I can't be looking like I crawled out of a bottle. You're, you're a big shot.
There it is. There it is. I had a lot of fun last night, uh, last week,
just sneaking in a bunch of Delta Rune quotes that you couldn't possibly have known about
into the podcast. So he's strong. He's strong. Uh, so for me, what had happened was, um,
way back when, uh, when I lived like two places ago at the old spot, um,
which you might remember, like downtown, uh, which is fucking all boarded up and shut down now,
weirdly. I don't look cool. Looks like a haunted house for some reason. Anyway,
really fucked that place up. Left it in fucking flames. No, I was just basically,
there was back then I had, um, there's a time when I was wearing this, uh, green, long kind of
like military ish looking jacket. Uh, I see it. You remember that thing? Yeah. And I had, it had
the Rock Howard, uh, wings on the back, the, um, his jacket star and wing thing, his logo. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. So I used to wear that for a bit. Um, and that was like a fun look. And then, uh,
there was a time when I, I started also just randomly, you know, I'd, I'd, I'd wear these kind
of like, uh, military green kind of pants, you know, like kind of like military looking pants as
well. Um, and I'd never really wear them together, right? Except for like one time when I combined
them, I combined the matching green pants, military green pants, and then that jacket. And
I also had just, I don't know, like my, my, my facial hair was in a particularly ratty state.
And I was leaving the mall and I looked at my reflection of like that full outfit outfit.
And I just saw pure hobo and it shook me. You saw, look, you got to use spare a dollar for
a chopper pot was in nom. I did. I did. And it shook me and it fucking made me go like,
okay, dude, you have to, you have to figure this out and balance it. Right. So like the look,
the hair, the piercings, the whole thing, all of that. And then you got to balance it with like
clothes that doesn't also look like your fucking homeless, you know, and it was just a really
like, okay, dude, like, yeah, get, get some pants, get a shirt, do something, balance it out, you
know, which is why I'm a huge fan of like having this kind of like head and putting a suit underneath
it. But that's the whole thing is just like that reflection was a fucking shock.
I'm just, I'm just thinking
that the most intense
like version of this that I've ever had was the one day in my life ever that I went just mustache.
Oh, oh, that turns you into middle school teacher.
It was not good. No, and I'm never going to do it again. No.
No, that turns you into, hey kids, did you do your homework? Stay after class.
Okay, Mr. Boy. It had real it had very much Paul Blart Mall cop.
Like face going on. Just don't care for it. Pocket protector. I'm not doing not doing that again.
Pan sticking out. Yeah.
Yeah. But anyway, so that's kind of how I stopped wearing that thing.
Is it just yeah, no, it was a it was a moment, you know.
So aside from sad frowny face type two homosity, what up? That's good. That's not too bad.
I got a crick in my neck. I did a couple things.
For one, I spent some time with that Melty Blood. Oh, Yoshinori Ono's Melty Blood.
Oh, Yoshinori Ono's very.
I see.
I had to, man, I saw that tweet. I had to keep moving. I couldn't stop on it.
I didn't fully understand what was like the gross and or awful part of that quite at first
until I realized like he just went over there.
Not to French bread, to the to the producer, to the production company.
And the phrasing which some people said might be a translation issue where Ono said,
you know, Melty Blood's doing great. Number one on number one selling game on Steam.
Thanks to everybody who got it. You know, I'm very happy with the success as I've just started
my new job at my as I've just started my new job at my company or something along those lines,
which is just a serious, just a weird tweet that sounded like it was taking credit
for what French bread did and it didn't rub anyone the right way.
Hey, you know what, as somebody who has been
following Yoshinori Ono's career
as closely as anyone probably could, I don't think you should give him the
benefit of the doubt on that. I think he really meant, haha, Melty Blood, good for me,
my company. We owe no time. I think that's what he was really feeling in his heart when he said that.
It's we're gonna need you guys know that I saved Street Fighter the same way I'm saving
Melty Blood. Wait for the probably a quote. Wait for the new, the new toy to hold up in the photos.
You know, and he's gonna, he's gonna ask everyone to hold up their box cutters.
And rip their glasses off and he'll yell something about burning your magic
circuit while he takes a photo of Neko Arc. Yeah, that's the one.
I think that the thing that threw me real bad was the the the trifecta of Ono, but also it's
like I thought people were were mad because it was like what like my my internalized reading
of this is that the world is a toilet now if Melty Blood is the number one selling game on steam
like like we're all in the bathroom now. And then I had this moment in my head where I didn't
fully connect it where he says Melty Blood is the number one game on steam and I'm like no it's
fucking not. Well there's that too. That's a that's a lie. That's just a straight up lie.
Maybe in Japan there's a type of person who I've met a few times that joins a team
and then immediately starts taking credit for the things that existed when he joined.
Or things that had been created and died before like before and after he let like.
God man it's just yeah well that oh you know what that guy's name is?
Bethesda the inventor of the first person shooter. What's the story?
So when Doom I want to say Eternal came out or was coming out fucking Pete and not Pete
Hines who the fuck was it was it Pete Hines? Somebody from Bethesda went up on fucking stage
and was like we here at Bethesda are proud to be you know the creators of the first person
shooter with Doom because they had bought id software. Okay. And they had retroactively become
the the creators of the first person shooter genre. The probably most garbage thing about
people like that is that it often works because that's how you clout surf until and you say it
enough until people believe it. And then they name their kids after jet engines. Or whatever the fuck.
Whatever the fuck's going on with that. Yeah man well look I you know that's the type of tweet
that we everyone will look at here and go like that's what that's silly but someone who makes
decisions that has some power somewhere might look at that and go oh oh that ono character he
he made a good game there that's doing well. So those who don't know what the jet engine joke was
about it was making fun of the rich person Elon Musk for naming his kids some abomination of x8
12 X ash X ash a 12.
I you know what I rarely would comment on this I'm so glad those two are splitting up because
now we get to see a headline that says who will get custody of baby X.
Which is hilarious to me. I like it's the baby.
My my honest hope is that the child is able to just get away with being called ash
and have a normal life. Oh they're super rich. They'll never have a normal life. Well I suppose
but you know to the detriment of you and I.
But where the fuck was I oh no no melty melty right actually playing the game melty blood type
lumina I've heard this game has an auto combo button like an arxist game but on every button.
Um yeah but you know I mean so does dragon ball sort of well no dragon ball has it on a and b
in this case it's on a b and c but you know it's it's yeah it's auto combos on on on whatever button
after you get the initial hit out. That is yeah it's that's not a big deal in my opinion I mean
I expect to see that going forward into most things because it'll allow people to just jump on
and kind of do a thing and then you know feel good about it. So that's a feature that's probably
here to stay in a lot of games going forward. Not all of them but certainly some but yeah
the I tweeted out yesterday but like one of the first things that I was just realizing playing
it was um it feels really cool to move around before round start. You get a little bit of movement
in like Marvel where you can just kind of walk forward and backwards slowly.
Right and there's something intimidating about like I'm up in your face I'm up in your face
like what what what you know but like in this case it's full dashes full movement full jumps
whatever you want and that is really like fun and interesting. You know you can kind of do things
that like you can you can have a cross-up started as soon as go active as stated you know you can
have like a mix pre-installed in the middle of happening. You can also feel when all some people
will have like rounds one and two of the first they'll play the first game and they just won't
move they'll just be like yeah I'll just play whatever but then when you beat them and then
you play a rematch now they're just that we're dashing at you like fuck this guy you know
they're just wave dashing into the dirt a million times a second. So there's that aspect of it
and yeah it just reminded me how much I really like that I think that's a pretty fun thing
that I like in more fighters in general. I mean again the standing still thing is also
it's a way of just like you have to guess what's going to come first what are your
interactions going to be. Yeah I'm going to assert dominance by pretending I'm not actually at the
computer. I'm just going to stand there and then they're going to hit me once and they're going
to be like oh cool he's not there and then when I when I suddenly wake up with 30% of my health
remaining that's going to scare them to the point where I could kill them. I've had I've had I've had
some weird matches like that but yeah so that's there I'm having some fun just playing this game
that is like where you just you you that whole thing about like open your magic circuit turn
your magic circuit burn your magic circuit is real like there's so much meter coming and going
um in a lot of cases for me right now it's going faster than it's coming and you you need it because
it's like you know imagine if yeah like you had it's like literally you have a you have three
buttons and the you know old Melty like worked this way too but it's just like the strong version
of every one of your attacks is like a metered EX it's like a super basically you know a mini super
in a way um and the the the subsystem that is getting the most discussion I'd say is the shield
and I don't know if you've seen anything about this but I've seen shit all I don't even know what
this game looks like aside from there being a character that seems mostly red that you can fit
13 or 14 of her sprite inside the hitbox for her super okay yes the only thing that is literally
the only thing I've seen of MeltyBlood so there's there is there is her um and she does like
tetsuzankos and stuff uh yeah Miyako um the system that they have going is that there's a
light medium heavy attack and then the fourth button is shield and shield will absorb a hit
and then you can press a button to follow up and uh if you press like light or heavy
it'll do like a launcher so it'll just follow up with a launcher that lets you do an air combo
or if you press medium you'll teleport behind them like Dante style you know and then you'll
and then you'll do a little aerial hit um so what the thing about it is is that after I
shield your attack and then do swing at you there's another thing I can do which is like an
instant dash across the across your body that's just very fast um that attacks you so I get those
options uh after you attack me and your attack gets shielded by me you can then hit shield
so that we clash again and then I can hit shield and then clash again so you have a bunch of moments
that are like pa pa pa pa pa teleport pa pa pa we're just a bunch of flashy nonsense is going on
and you're playing a quick game of rock paper scissors and uh it looks shiny but it's kind of
insane um I think I've seen I think I actually have scroll past that like people doing that in the
air they clash and then they're behind each other and then they clash and they look like
some anime shit it does so dragon ball had a reflect system that lets you just push away the
opponent and you could use it in a similar fashion but what would happen is after you do you did it
in dragon ball you both would get spaced out and then you'd have to like re you know engage in this
case it keeps the whole thing go the whole sequence going until someone gets hit or you
both fucking whiff on some wild shit you know um and they clearly wanted this to be in the system
of the game and they wanted this to be what people saw because like it's very easy to do it happens
unintentionally if you're just like you know you're just if you just kind of panic you can
you swing and then hit that shield button afterwards you can end up with a pretty long
sequence of that going on um and then the final big super anime attacks that you can do
one of the ways to trigger them is by entering what they call blood heat
and then shielding anything right and then it auto triggers so this is an intentional little
like rps system in the game and like yeah I feel like it's kind of fucking batshit crazy
and it's rps-y but it does do the job of making peace spectators go whoa holy shit anime fighting
is going on well I mean rock paper scissors is fair so there's no danger there of like
you know in ruining the game how often in a match are you doing this low level percentage of a
match I mean I low level I when I first started I feel like the beginners were throwing it out
there the thing is that it's not you don't have infinite shield you have a it drains after you
using a little moon meter oh well there you go so there is a regulator in place for it right
but um I feel like low level I see a lot of people attempting to use it unsuccessfully
and then approaching mid which is like kind of where I'm at I'm seeing it get used like
like less randomly much more frequently and tightly but when it does get used like
you have to play the game you know it's almost like when you it's like the wager system in
injustice or something like that where it's like okay or the reversal edge you know in
a soul caliber five right but what if I don't want to play melty blood then can't I just do
this shield thing all day uh no because you're gonna get your shit wrecked and it's gonna be
spent and over you could also play without it and try to rely on you know normal blocking and
movement and reversals fashion loser blocking yeah that that works too you know and it that's
that's fine but um there is a there is a a mix of like yeah there's high low to it you can get
grabbed there's a couple ways to deal with it but it's a it's a very aggressive system that's put in
on one button that allows you to like just yeah create these insane spectacle moments you know
imagine third strike had a parry button but it was like you could hold it for a period of time
you know and it would drain like I don't know let's say you're you're um uh an extra meter so
you had a couple seconds of it you know and then after anything yeah yeah it's so it's a very it's a
very um aggressive use of it that it used to exist in the previous games but this is this is like
dialed it up quite a bit but I'm having fun with the game um right now I feel like uh
uh so uh it is rollback I've had some clean matches I've had some bad matches though and
I started having a bunch of matches that were getting really rough so I um I had to put the
I had to restrict you know my games to like having people with at least over a bar for now um
that helped but uh does moving around in the pre-fight actually change anything yeah oh yeah
no I mean uh netcode wise oh I don't know I don't know um but I I can I can definitely
say that people like people I'm seeing it don't skip the intro on pc because it screws up the
fucking uh sink that's been a thing for a while in arxist games I've always been told by like
people who play yeah let the intros rock specifically for but to allow it to connect and
sink better uh I'm not playing on pc I'm playing on console because I heard there was other there
I heard there was other issues on pc um that's I still fucking hate this thing of like new fighting
game drops where we go and is it decided is there a consensus what are we playing you know um well
I mean that's the natural result of of these games being available on more platforms
like back in the day the answer is where are we going the only console it's releasing on
is where we're going and then it would also be like hey uh ideal world crossplay doesn't matter
go where you want yeah but uh sadly that ain't the case so for now I'm playing on console um
but yeah my observations have been I've had some bad matches where I'm just like get me the fuck out
of here and I've had some good matches and I'm I'm starting to restrict them um so I don't know um
I have to get some more games in but like um I feel as if well and then I went to player
match for a while too out of ranked and there I've been seeing a lot more zero barred rooms
than um then strong connection rooms and it's weird but like their decision to split things up
online was ranked will queue you up with one person whereas um the player match forces a lobby
so even if fine yeah it just but it does slow the process down a bit um it would be nice if you
could just queue up for a player match you know on its own but in any case um that's kind of how
it feels online right now um I'm you know being a diligent about like who I'm connecting to and
stuff but the other thing that I noticed is a uh it's an interesting discussion that popped up
right I believe um Giuna was saying like hey I think it's time we got to get rid of like
win percentages and like stats because remember how it's complaining about how I couldn't see
my exact stats in um um what should we call it uh strive right yeah so in this game you can see
matches played and matches won against from who or whatever your opponent has and I've experienced
a little bit of it and like I'm I'm hearing that some people are experiencing a lot of people
who are seeing you seeing your number and kind of just going fuck this and disconnecting
um they can see it during the the load up pre connection pre match you can cancel
so you can choose oh you shouldn't be able to see that in ranked you shouldn't right no that's
ridiculous exactly so in ranked matches you connect to somebody and the thing is is usually
like you but you do want to see how their connection strength is right so and on the one hand
you want to be able to connect to somebody see the strength of the connection and go like oh
that's horrible get me out of there that ping is through the moot to the you know through the roof
but on the other hand when you see the the the ratio of their wins you see some people are like
like you know fuck that I'm getting out of here and then they don't fight you so their only ranked
matches are by you know whatever they opt into select right um this then leads to some people who
have uh particularly high win ratios based on that selection method and these people are almost
guaranteed to rage quit if you beat them on round one you know because they're like I don't
want my win percentage to go down you know right so like so the the the discussion was like
showing the stat creates something that people can't handle they can't handle their
percentage being low it if it hurts the ego too much and it makes them quit and if you hide that
then they're not going to do that you know it's interesting because like I'm thinking back to
certain shooters I want to say Overwatch did this but I'm not a hundred percent uncertain
where your kill death ratio was actually obfuscated because the amount of points you would get
through like team activities and assists also counted as kills for stuff like that and that was
an intention to um you know get people to fucking relax about that shit I think back to
god I want to go back to like battlefield two back in the aughts where when they started doing that
squad stuff and the big thing was like no taking out vehicles and you know playing to your your
class's strength will get you more points for your squad and you know more you know progression
whatever the fuck then your kd ratio but what would people see but the kd ratio was still on
the screen that yeah there you go people would people would fucking camp out in the most annoying
places and ignore their squad completely and lose the match but go yeah but my kd was like 2.2 to 1
it is an it is really an interesting discussion around the psychology of like you know I mean you
we can call it cowardice but it's like it's really like it's a bad feeling thing that a player comes
in and sees and goes like oh I feel bad I have to protect that number and I'm gonna do whatever it
takes and now my priority isn't having fun or trying to get better it's protecting that number
at all costs you know and that is immediately a like poisoning of where your intentions should be
and the kind of you know and what's fun about playing the game right it's it's some bullshit and
I mean if you have that mentality like you know these people often it feels like they'll be in
some cases they'll just be scrub quotes but in other cases they'll be I've seen people who are
like no I admit it it's it's my habits I but I just I it bothers me seeing that number go down
and I'm just gonna do whatever it takes because it feels bad right so it's it's interesting to me
because I I mean I've been very public I suffer from excessive compulsive disorder which is like
tied directly into this kind of numerical mind shenanigans but I played a lot of shooters
they used to do a lot of different point systems and it's been my experience that if there is any
way to hit tab or select or anything to obfuscate any form of kill death ratio it doesn't matter
what numbers you give any other action it doesn't matter what kind of shiny fucking lights you
attach to getting the flag or capturing the point or whatever you will still have people like
like furious that the guy who didn't get that many kills but who got the flag six times was the
person who was MVP in the game because well they're kd it's like it is like such an intensely
vital like overpowering number and in fighting games all there is is your kill death ratio yes
that is and you're by yourself url exactly it's it's that's all it is so the interesting so the
thing is how you could fix it other than actually yeah just removing it entirely so the discussion
goes in a couple places because now you look at how guilty your strive decided to address it
by just completely removing that number and then putting you on floors and letting you
stay at the floor that you're comfortable with right and also picking the opponents you want
so in a sense they created a it's not really true ranked because you're not facing the world
you're facing whatever you choose to let through your filter um so there's that but you can stay
at the place you feel comfortable with and you know obfuscating that number hide some of that
feeling so that you're still people rage quitting but maybe there's an argument where someone some
could say people would rage quit more if that number were shown forcefully every single time
you know and so I personally am someone who obviously would love to have that number and even
if it's hidden give me a place I can go behind five menus to get to it if you have to do that
whatever just show it to me so that I can learn and decide like you know my own like I could keep
track of my progress um it's funny because we just like I want to say like two months ago we were
like laughing ourselves stupid about like the idea of a system that would surface your win-loss
ratio against like specific players yeah yeah even matchups upon starting the match to shame you
um only think of now after you know it's no longer funny jokes like yeah no that stuff
probably makes a shittier experience because people will just quit so they'll just bail
so it turns out that like one of the possible solutions to this was solved by virtual fighter
in that virtual fighter is it making uh an online uh fighting game that no one can adequately
play online so that this problem doesn't exist correct online doesn't matter because it doesn't
fucking work so then everybody just shuts up and stops and goes home uh so uh virtual fighter uh
allowed you to choose what information you want to display so you could hide the number that you're
embarrassed by thus not caring about it thus potentially playing like less of a douche
you ever played ten or four online no i don't think so you know what happens when you lose
five or ten matches in that game you get a zero point achievement uh that calls you a loser
uh and and can't come off your account just burnt in yep yeah it's the most toxic fucking thing
i've ever seen uh a game due to your your fucking profile it's astonishing yeah um that's you know
some people are gonna laugh and smile at that and others are gonna sieve into a pile you know
but um i think that somewhere along the lines because as we've established being able to accept
or deny a ranked match based on connection quality is fair and important uh but denying it
based on the skill you see is then like defeating the purpose of ranked in my opinion so that
shouldn't be the case so i think really yeah i mean i i don't i don't mean to sound like a
shit here but what you just said was so naive i cannot believe you even said the point of ranked
matches in a fighting game is so that i can win and feel good yes like this competition shit you're
talking about or whatever what planet are you from the point of me sitting down on saturday night
and fucking bloating up guilty gear or fucking dbz and hitting that rank button is that i can beat on
some fucking idiots and win and feel good about myself and if i need to fucking make a new account
in league of legends and smurf people in bronze then god damn it i'm gonna do it who's who's gonna do it
me that's right he got it like no like combating combating that mentality is is much more difficult
than the rest it is because what i'm trying to get to sorry i remember when we talked about the
cheater people the people who were like interviewed about buying cheats yes and they're like i don't
like they they just don't care yes and they're like it's my game i don't i don't give a fuck i
would just want to play it and have fun yeah it's remarkably straightforward so there's always going
to be those people and there's nothing and there's very little you can do about that except for keep
track of if possible you know their disconnection rates and then show you that dragon ball would
show you a color that said hey this person disconnects very often right i really like that
that was one of my favorite implementations fantastic that's great so what i what i'm getting
out of here is that we have another case of if um excuse me if we all looked at each other's homework
and started grabbing the best of all these different implementations for online you can get
something that minimizes that behavior because it makes those people they're not going to have as
much fun and the people who do stick around and act that way will still be there but it'll turn
off some of that inherent toxic toxicity and bullshit especially if it's someone who doesn't
think they're going to be that way but then suddenly feels that way in the middle of a match
and you're like i didn't know i was a rage quitter until i rage quit you know like if you're one of
those people that just like i don't have the control it's just it just happened fuck those people
but i've been i've been and take away that incentive like make it so that the stat you
don't see it right away that number that that defeats you that burns in that makes you suddenly
start being a shit fine hide that number right don't make it completely utterly out of the game
but take it away from the default matchup screen and just show the connection strength
and how often the person disconnects you know i remember being in high school and playing fighting
games against other of the local kids and the the children that would go on to be rage quitting
adults i can look back and i can see them i can see a kid named james who bragged about how he
could beat anyone in rival schools for like a week and a half and kept dodging kids is like oh let's
go to your house and play it then he's like no i'm busy and then like me and some other kids went
there and like everyone could beat him and i perfected him when like i literally just used
shoma and like popped him up in the air and did the textbook combo and and and like midway through
the second round he like smashed his fucking controller and like stormed out of his own
room and told us all to leave his house and it's like oh there it is there he is there it is there's
the personality type yeah grows up to do this hundred hundred hundred percent uh brother was
so embarrassed his brother was like a much nicer kid and he was just like oh fucking well you're
in his house when he i rl rage quitted so now you have to find your way out
you know oh man and unlike an uh a rage quit nowadays which fucks up you know like 30 seconds
of your time that possibly fucked up your afternoon you know so yeah uh that baby you know what
i know i if i'm 35 i feel like i've finally hit that age where i can start doing that
and what i'm about to do rage quitting do you know who's rage quitting's fault is really at the core
the parents because because when okay little billy fucking lost his shit at six years old
and spiked his xbox controller into the dirt and it shattered into a million pieces they bought him
another one he was rewarded for it or at the very least not inconvenienced yeah yeah there was no
coping mechanism put in place to deal with not getting your way and thus you entered adulthood
assuming and continuing to think that that's how you deal with displeasure yeah also do you remember
like being in hella high school or even younger and playing fighting games against like kids that
would like get like like their eyes popping out of their fucking heads screaming angry yeah think
about like do their fucking parents not see them losing their fucking minds at home over shit like
this of course but that's not fun that but that's not that's not fighting games that's been people
screaming at their mouse and keyboard while their parents are going what the fuck is wrong with you
for years now you know and the sounds of monitors getting thrown off the table it's a thing you
know like that is just yeah you're seeing anger issues that are coming from people that weren't
taught how to handle those moments you know I remember you can get pretty far in life without
needing to learn that I knew a kid named Eric and he had two younger brothers and he was Eric was
like okay I guess but the two younger brothers were the most violent aggressive stupid shitheads
I've ever seen in my life and I remember going over there and thinking like wow I don't know like
how the fuck that these kids end up this fucked up and then the two start rough housing and then
the mother just appears to scream louder than I've ever heard a human being yell just fuck it stop
and then like on the way out like I see the dad who looks like one drink from suicide hiding in
the garage working on like a boat or something and I'm like oh that's how that happens you got the
portrait that you got the family portrait wow I just I just got to see the cause and effect in every
possible fucking line connecting in like a five minute span and that person is dodging the second
round in melty blood because they have word they have larger problems yes this is this is true
this is true you know um but it is it is it is definitely clearly something that uh
the there's some you'd think there'd be some obvious solutions like just go well make a disconnect
count as a loss but then that creates a whole new problem where people can jump online with their
friends and then lose on purpose and then just artificially spam their way up the rankings
you know especially if you can deny your matches until you get your friend you know yeah that
shit's that it's it's really funny that phenomenon has become so bad that in games that have like
uh I'm gonna say well maintained rank systems it's led to the situation where if like your
friends and your friend and not you are are too far apart in rank you're just not allowed to play
together just not allowed because that shit you're either gonna boost or you're gonna boost down
for nefarious fucking purposes um I mean to extrapolate back at that level where you're
talking about like age and the parents and going into that's like scope on things I would even I
would keep if to keep it at that zoom level I would say another statement here is um I think
it's important to get or be into some form of hobby or game of whatever your choice is at some
point in your life it's important to be into something that caused where you have to lose
regularly right so I've seen people talk about this with martial arts and I've heard people
describe like getting into jujitsu for example as one of the most humbling things ever because the
process of learning is getting your ass beat over and over and over again until you have no ego
about being a cool strong guy that's gonna win you get fucking humbled instantly constantly
and immediately and it changes the way you think you know yeah I remember my parents always told me
I mean pat you're pretty smart but you're never gonna be the smartest yeah you might even be the
smartest kid in your class right now but eventually you're gonna go out into the world and you're not
gonna be the smartest you're not gonna be the best at anything and blah blah blah we know that kind
of speech but it never really fucking took until I was like 14 or 15 I did like a martial arts class
with what ended up being my french teacher after school and I would get my ass kicked by adults
like once a week for maybe 18 months and only to realize like oh yeah I'm learning cool moves
I can do it and it's like okay we're gonna pair you with the 45 year old dude who came in to learn
this new one because he has a second dan in karate mm-hmm and he's gonna spar with you
and dude just flips me like a fucking doll and like my cool moves then and oh man yeah there's a whole
world out there plenty of strong guys I think it I think people who get into zero some games
at some point in life are like you learn something it teaches you how to deal with losing and how to
deal with like self-improvement and how to focus on the right things you know um there you know I
I quote it from time to time but I remember that study about um being told your um when you do when
you're when you're do really well in your class being told you're very smart versus being told you
work very hard and the effect that has on kids and you know what the effect is I'll tell you right
now I was told oh wow Patrick you're so smart wow you're the smartest kid in this class and that
led to the situation that I went to I flew through all the way to the end of stage and got to
university and discovered I did not know how to study there you go at all there you go right
but you're so smart you know oh yeah oh man that natural shit stopped carrying me about four
classes in the university when they're pointing me at a fucking uh sodium fucking gate for your
goddamn brain neurons and I'm like I don't know what the fuck this is god damn it shit so the result
of that study was the class of of of students there was two of them one one group of students
were told and praised for how smart they were and the others were praised for how hard they worked
and the students that uh in both classes were given harder and harder problems until eventually
they were given problems way beyond their their possible understanding at a university level
and the students in the class that were praised for how smart they were gave up instantly and just
quit and like like you know in some cases crying oh well the worst the worst feelings like you know
tears and just anger and rage and they all gave up and the the hard workers kept at it despite
not even having you know the the answers but like stayed in longer essentially before they went hey
guys you don't know the answers here you know let me get this straight we're delvin in a child
psychology on this is real interesting what you're saying is that the optimal way to stop this is to
repeatedly place the child in complete no-win situations in which they can't possibly win
and this will break down their ego as they learn that success is random and mutable
but continuously praise them for never giving up yeah this this this is tough because this is
actually like sixty seventy percent of the way that you accidentally induced what's called learned
helplessness in which perfect for your if you perfect for your fucking factory job working on the
line pissing in your bottles you know if you if you subject people to circumstances that will
negatively affect them and create a situation in which it does not appear that their efforts
make any conceivable this difference you create learned helplessness and then the dog doesn't
even try and jump off the electrified plate anymore they just whimper yeah oops it's complicated
you know what this is a great example to bring up something that i've been trying to figure out
how to bring up on the on the podcast for a while because what the whole discussion we're talking about
is things that happen inside game studios right you got a bunch of people sitting around going
oh man how do we make the player do this and how do we make the player do that because uh you know uh
you know the player behavior will tend towards this if we do this and yada yada yada yada yada
and one guy says hey i took psychology 101 and cognitive behavior 102 at my local community
college and then a different guy says ooh i have a book on operant conditioning and they go did you
hear about a skinner box where you give the rat the the cocaine and then you can oh you zap it or
the pavlov dog rat park pavlov dog you can make stanford prisoners do anything all you gotta do is
operately condition them and press the pain button with um with doc a good deal about
where it's you have all these armchair game developers psychologists who read like two books
on operant conditioning and they go ah we can gamify and operant condition the shit out of our
players so they do this and do that and buy this and then they created gacha yeah but there's a problem
here there's the piece of the research that they don't look at when you pavlov dog pavlov's dogs
you know the salivary gland thing the operant conditioning do you know what happens to those
dogs they bite their handlers oh do you know what happens to monkeys that you operately condition
they become anxious and violent yeah they get violent they get real violent hey if you if you do
if you do sorry i'm mixing up classical and operant here but when you psychologically manipulate
people to do what they want to do what you want using little dirty tricks they become upset and toxic
and isn't it a little like you know these there are certain genres that are just like the toxic
beacons of like uh like league of ledger like mobas are just like the the most toxic shit ever
or the genshin impact community is like the worst thing ever it's like do you think maybe the design
isn't just making players act badly in game you're actually making them stressed out and
angry and upset and that little jimmy who throws his controller because he can't handle losing in
a fighting game is now being acted on by these psychological pressures that have been tuned
to his psyche to make him spend money and now he's an asshole that can't stop dropping hard ours
so what you're saying is in melty every time someone disconnects their characters should
get weaker by about five percent every time they disconnect everything their character does
drops by about five percent and you just don't tell them it's just a secret number yeah it's hidden
secret number you know that you know that'd be a great version of loser jail which is like
like every time every disconnect on a character leads to a like one percent loss in stats across
the god so like if somebody's rage quit like 50 times like their character is literally doing
half the damage and taking twice the damage see the problem the problem is that like these types
of things require a battle planner and a game director that is willing to sit down in an interview
with ign or whoever and have and look them dead in the face and go yeah no that's correct we did
that fuck those people oh so yoko taro's fighting game essentially you know or look them in the face
and go i have no idea what you're talking about what are you talking about as they wear a mask on
rage quitter account that we made for this it's it's doing half the damage like oh that's weird
huh huh pass that along to qa we'll get that over to the to the team yeah
oh man so you know um the the the nothing new under the sun the world goes on
and uh type lumina has uh has this this initial vibe but it's um it's it's a fun game and i'm enjoying
the the the the stuff it's doing i'm playing um cl who like i played in the old games and
yeah that's that's all cool so i'm gonna take a look at that how's it how's it stack up to the old
multi-blood uh i mean it's prettier um i feel like i can like and maybe it's just because i i didn't
put the time in but i kind of do feel like i can do more with um the different types of
metered abilities you can you've gotten the game now because you've got like regular specials and
you've got the exes and then you've got the the moon specials which have different properties
that require no meter but they use moon meter and you can combo with those
and then you can use those to cancel into other things including like your final
like your final attacks your final like like arc drive you know type thing
so it's there's a lot there's a lot of stuff happening with the system and the types of
moves you're using so by spending a little bit of this and saving a little bit of that
you can combine them later to do some some pretty cool shit and again i don't know
actress again enough to say like exactly what you could have or couldn't have done back then
although i do know that like the heat and blood heat were a thing but in this game it feels like
i'm in the lab messing around and i've found quite a few ways to like do some long cool shit but
the damage is not like out of this world in the way that it is with strife and all these other
games recently that we've gotten used to so you do big crazy shit and the game goes cool you took
off 33 percent i hope you're okay with that and you're like yeah you know what i am that's fine
damage is kind of back to normal in this game after seeing oh yeah exploding strife videos
and you do wild shit that ends in a big old level three in this game and then it's like cool
you did like 4 000 damage so it's not a touch of death game there's some you know there's some
really crazy shit and i don't want to say no because i'm sure someone out there is going to
find something but for now it feels like you're doing big shit into a big finish and you're and
you're getting uh yeah kind of like 40 percent if you you know going 50 sometimes if you're if you're
like using your uh your level four no level four goes past that level four is huge damage
level four is definitely an insane thing but um the others are kind of um yeah back to normal
you know um so that's melty blood and just laughing i'm just giggling at like you confusedly saying
you don't it doesn't use meter but it uses moon meter and like fighting games yeah yeah like so
absurd the funny thing about the moon meter is that it's also it's similar it's it serves simultaneously
as an easy input button because it's like smash brothers style specials on um a quick input you
know but it is so you have right so let's say you have a hadoken and then you've got a you know
ex hadoken that spends a bar um you've got like forward plus uh b and c to do moon meter hadoken
which is like no had no quarter circle required and it just it has its own properties you know
but you only have a couple of them so little only use the moon so much until it until it goes down
or turns red what it turns maybe says it's silly yeah it's it's fine um
um another thing besides that yeah finished off delta rune the first play through i guess the
the normal pacifist run and uh boy i'm very i said it before but i'm very excited for the
continuing ventures of everyone in this town as they go into the delta rune world and get cool
powered up forms um shout out yeah spampton is is super great that those are really fun a plus
that was a fun super boss um i i hope that collecting all those super boss pieces will
lead to some cool shit so they actually uh to be patched uh delta rune a few days ago
and one of the changes was if on your save file you have beaten jevil it dumps an item in your
inventory so besides the one he gives you yeah okay that will combine do something something
yeah um i just fucking adore susie and uh is she great i would love
to see her it just yeah like i i in smash brothers tomorrow yes that's what i was about to say
okay not that that's gonna happen but what if could you imagine some real toby representation
you know that'd be cool now i will talk about that in a minute but uh i i have i have a and i
i think something's gonna happen with that um i think uh i think we're gonna get not just a
final character but but some kind of twist or like two and one or three and one or some kind of
thing you know well there's a new fireball game that's coming out well there there is i suppose
there is um and there's also a whole lot of pokemon that haven't been you know used so it's
blaziken as your final smash bros character i mean the level of anyways the the number of like
delusional hashtags for smash i've seen flying around twitter have been um hilarious yeah i fully
inverted on it and now i'm like i'm i'm like hoping for like mega disappointment like as
like as as cruel as it can get like uh uh fucking uh it's gonna be uh waddle d waddle d
you know fucking i love bandana d and i'm not even gonna be saying fucking yeah yeah but you
didn't like it'd be like no it's gonna be chris pratt yeah i think it's i think it's gonna be some
sort of like twist announcement in some way um but it'd be cool if susie got to be like a statue
or a fucking assist trophy or something i'm gonna guess next time around you know um especially
now that uh or how about this how about just a slight modification to falco on his costume
to make him look a little a little more birdly you know now that you've beaten the delta rune
i'm sitting here and do you know that fucking clip that's been dubbed over from batman beyond
where i think it's golem says with the glass ceiling shattered all the oppressed groups will
rise up including the most oppressed group of all gamers as he like floats out of the
yeah like that clips going around for like five ten years i it feels like birdly is is designed
off of that emotion it it certainly is but it's also the fact that if toby is good enough to beat
sakurai at smash toby knows a thing or two about that scene so he's close enough to be familiar with
the energy you know which um dear god man when it's like that one you just get that fucking line about
like sorry birdly i only play mobile games power i love it anyway um so that was that was fantastic
and um one other thing is um the wonder years do you remember the wonder yeah you just you described
going back to that yeah so fred savage fred savage and did you know uh the voice of the narrator
you know who that is i thought it was opi no it was member member uh home alone
yeah not joe peshy oh the other guy yeah marv oh yeah yeah that guy is uh is the voice of the
narrator good for him yeah remember when he got electrocuted so hard he turned into a skeleton
for like 15 frames in real life yes yeah i remember that that happened uh so we um yeah so we got that
that uh the that uh there's a new wonder years too i mentioned which is uh it just launched in
in this case it's don cheedle narrating over a black family around the same time period in the 60s
in alabama i believe although they never quite tell you where the original takes place so it you
know at first i heard was the other side of town and then i heard like oh no it's it's specifically
here i'm like i don't know and they may or may not play it in but it's definitely around the same
or similar time period and it was interesting um because i watched that um and then i just
started watching the old show and i i mentioned before that well the wonder years the old show
used to be my favorite thing on television like i as a kid was it was my favorite thing
it was my favorite show i was obsessed i loved it so much yeah um i it's like the feeling of like
oh yay that i get hearing the the intro you know uh of it and then the like everything
about that i would just fucking always tune in it was really just you know struggles of a fucking
dumb kid in the suburbs and and and winnie cooper you know uh so i wanted to and i think
i saw two episodes of wonder years and was like this shit is fucking lame and then never watched
again i just as a kid i fucking loved it man you know and eventually you know i don't know reboot
came along and it was what it was but but uh yeah you know that that shit dropped and as i it came
out in 1988 i'm born in 85 and it just yeah dumb kid trying to figure it out and older brother that
beats on his ass and you know like i don't know do we like each other with this girl do we not
what what's what do we i don't know we're kids all of that stuff it just it was just it was something
i i was i was entertained by and resonated with so you know um i always wanted to go back to it
but i never knew i'm like would this hold up or would it just be corny as shit and the answer
is absolutely both right it is corny as shit but i still feel great watching it and not just for
nostalgia purposes because there's a there's a bunch of episodes i don't remember there's a bunch
of stuff that happens especially later on that i don't remember like the the later seasons are a
blur in my head but i'm i'm going back to it and enjoying it like thoroughly and like for what it is
you know so um well i mean the 60s in general were cringe so there's no way around it sure
and and it's gonna be cringe and for anyone who's unfamiliar i guess i the the comparison is kind
of like you know Malcolm in the middle which is also super dated as a reference right now like
this is so Malcolm in the middle is parodying like the wonder years except it's being like punk rock
in alternative about it you know but the idea was kind of the same with uh wonder years being the
more sincere version of that kind of story from the 80s right uh so um watching the new one and
then going back to the old one was a really interesting whiplash because i could directly
compare the two and i can say that this like the story of um though the original has always been
like the smallest scale dumb hijinks ever for kids at an age where nothing you do matters
and there's always going to be and there's always going to be a point in the episode
where the narrator goes and that's the day that i learned that some things never go back to the
way they were you know and whether it's about like the brother or the best friend who is not
Marilyn Manson despite that weird rumor and uh all that other stuff and or or Winnie Cooper um
it is uh uh it's one of those shows where it's like you learned for the first time
that da da da da da da and so you have small scale shit and then while that's happening for
the most part the show also has like and the era of the times the 60s is happening and civil rights
things happen and um there's things relating to like you know uh uh like red scare and all kinds
of any the hippie movements and you know all that shit all the shit that was going down in America
in the 60s and into the 70s so you have all of that as the backdrop but it kind of peaks in
and then it gets filtered into the lens of a child who doesn't get it you know so that's sort of what
the old show has been about the new show also is doing that and it's focusing on yeah mainly of
course it's a black family at the time so the civil rights part of it and you know uh uh the the
segregation of it and you know remnants of like Jim Crow things and and and all that while the kids
are having their basic little high uh uh uh going to high school life and trying to get a kiss for
the first time and doing all that stuff um all that stupid hygiene shit yeah the main thing i'd say
though is that like i've only only one episode came out so far well i think two as of this as of
today but so at the time the only only the pilot launched i would say that it gets the culture
and the times and the events of the era right and in the same way that the original show does because
you know um a first episode of the original show um kid on the street goes off to vietnam never comes
back you know yeah so because he's dead yeah and that's that so like in the same way this in this
case first episode of the show like hijinks is going on stuff's going down and then uh none of that
matters it's all interrupted because dr king just got shot right yeah so it's doing that kind of
thing and and uh that is is present and you know executed as as fine as you'd imagine um the part
though where you're going into the lens in the kids lives and how shit doesn't matter and the
dicking around and whatever all that stuff i feel like it's lacking in the new one you know and what
i don't know if it's based on the actors and their delivery or if it's just the shit that's happening
to them but it feels as if they're being strung along by those events and they're not quite
establishing just their own dumb bullshit child world yet whereas uh in the original
you kind of felt like almost there was two worlds and then the real world would like interrupt
the childhood you know so we'll see how it how it shapes up and i mean you know maybe there's a
statement to say that like you know the the when you're growing up black in this type of situation
you never really do get to escape it and you know there is that but um i i'm hoping that you can
like deliver a similar feeling of like the kids don't know or care that much about what's going on
until it crashes into them you know and then they're forced to kind of grow up in these moments and
yeah i think that's exactly what i mean i haven't watched one or years for shit but that i remember
it was like painted almost i very idealized idealistically if you're describing it taking
place in an era of like social upheaval and like the mlk uh assassination all that like i i can't
help but think that you're correct in saying that like you can't just have your idealized
stupid low stakes kids life with all this shit course not going on yeah and you know the the
i mean the original wonder year's pilot like around like the i think it's like yeah the end
of the first of the second episode the narrator is like um you know there's some people who look
down on the suburbs and you know think of it as just a series of grids you know with like no soul
in them or whatever but there's people who live in those grids and they have stories and lives that
matter and it's kind of like saying like yeah we're in this we're in this fucking box but there's
there's there's people here that matter and we're gonna like look into those things and talk about
them in a way um and i guess like in the new one we'll have to see where it goes right but like
i i feel like something of something will be lost if it focuses just on the times and like
not as much on that again that kids world as i'm describing it you know so i'm i'm i'm i'm hoping
i'm hoping that uh we do get a bit more of that um because it's yeah a different style of family but
same style of like dorky kid trying to figure it out you know in both cases but either way
i then went on to watch like a bunch of the original and man yeah i just fucking i love that show
and the intro and outro of get by with a little help from my friends is just one of the coziest
things ever and uh yeah i don't know it's i'm glad to say that um it it it does hold up in my
opinion it does kind of hold up as long as you are you're aware of that 1988-ness of it and it's
still it's still okay it's still okay i don't know man i remember being like a six-year-old and thinking
that it didn't hold up then well you're tuning into some cheese but that's that's what you're
tuning into you know um yeah i like it i like it anyway um that's pretty much me
well if they want to see more of pretty much you where would they go willy uh over on willy
versus where we shall be continuing uh smt devil summoner raito one and i'll also be jumping on to
take a look uh at melty blood later this week as well as i believe the new ios version of footsies
just came out which is the little mini fighting game by high fight a really cool twitter channel
twitter account that posts highlights of fighting game stuff so we're going to take a
look at those games a little later on in this week um over on willy versus twitch on twitter
we just had a new episode of gone in 60 seconds drop um uh and new episode of willy will figure it
out and uh yeah i'm going to post the schedule i still have to figure some stuff out for this week
but post the schedule i think we're going to get through some at least like two raito sessions
and then some melty uh for melty blood we're going to be on ps5 if you want to come play with us
by the way on saturday so yeah that's nice hey willy you didn't catch any squid game did you
no but everyone's talking about it so i thought that squid game
was people talking about splatoon i hoped so
but the first thing i saw was a meme of some people with playstation buttons on their helmets
so that it immediately was clear that wasn't the case really confused when i saw that
so squid game is not the netflix version of splatoon
squid game is a korean death game drama
you get a couple hundred people in a room and we're gonna play child games and if you lose the
child game you get shot but you win some money right but yeah you'll win some money and much like
many popular korean uh dramas that have been exported this way the underlying thesis statement
is boy it sucks ass to be poor is it a voluntary game i'm not even gonna answer that question
okay because i know how you is about spoilers is it good um it's very good it's excellent it's like
very well paced it's very well shot it's very weird and it like it like it's it's it's acted and
directed and etc good enough that it it elevates itself past what you my original thought was like
oh it's another it's a dangin rampa isn't it well they imported it and marketed it the way they did
for a reason right like yeah i'm sure the thought was like hey parasite was amazing we can probably
do some more of that but yeah as i don't want to talk about too much because i don't want to spoil
anything for you and also i'm not done so anybody trying to talk to me about squid game shut your
fucking mouth uh yeah it's really good you should check it out uh how many seasons and where you at
it is one seasons uh it's possibly like one total seasons it's unclear it's does that
netflix thing where it's a season one but i don't know if that means that it's you know one off
uh and i'm three in okay enough to get like the like a taste they're 59 and a half minute long
episodes okay which is a weird watch time it's not a movie and it's not a star trek or a long
order episode hmm it's but it's clear it's a clean hour yeah that is i mean if there is one season
regardless of how this ends intentional or not there will not be one season for long
yes because this is the type of yeah this is the kind of success that's like get on that immediately
i don't care how it ended the only the only thing i like dislike about it and uh as i'm not somebody
who grew up in korea uh and i'm not korean i can't tell if this is like what this is culturally
but like the literal like first scene of the show is the kids describing the shitheaded
playground game called the squid game which includes like running around a circle on one leg and
stuff like that and i don't know if that's a real game or not uh because the rules as described
make no fucking sense and i don't get it at all and i was watching with page and we both like
kind of paused after like the first three minutes of the show going i don't know what the fuck that is
is that a real thing is that a real game it is a real game okay weird i don't get it i feel like
you know yeah it's i would imagine that's one of those things that is a name that resonates the
people who have played it as a kid and they the twist is that it's the innocent thing mixed with
the deadly you know conclusion so they should play versions of the games that i played as a kid
like sandman where you can run around on the playground playing tag but you're throwing
fists and you got to keep your eyes closed if you're the tagger so you just have a kid with his
eyes closed run around on the playground throwing fists yeah sure trying to dodge him like that's
that game ruled well i mean that that that that horror movie effect is you know like it's not the
first time we've seen it i'm sure you can make a movie ring around the rosy where it's a bunch of
people forced to play it in a minefield i bet you that game exists you know ring around the rosy
ring around the rosy 2006 there you go you know yeah so whatever
they all fall dead is the is the is the tagline of course they do of course well you just proved
your point pretty exemplarily we've been doing this i have something else i want to talk about
that i can't talk about too much because it's the outer wilds dlc came out okay now willy before i
continue just for the purposes of clarity you played outer wilds to some degree how much
outer wilds did you play enough for the game's premise to reveal itself and enough to start walking
around and you know solving a couple of the first puzzles all right did you
uh did you solve the mystery of the moon
no okay you didn't you didn't if that if that outer wilds is the kind of it's a it's a mystery game
right and it's in terms of intuiting and solving and learning information about figuring out how
to traverse it i met stuff on the moon but i guess i didn't solve it no it would be it would be like
like light bulb unequivocally yes yeah okay yeah the the whole game was like that if like if you
serve if you i could ask you did you solve the mystery of the tornadoes on giant's deep and if
the answer is i don't know the answer is no okay right um so uh outer wilds was a really bizarre
game to get dlc because it presents you with a clockwork universe sorry clockwork solar system
right and there are a lot of little mini planets and by the end of the outer wilds i had explored
every single inch of every single one of those planets except for like the little lava moon
around brittle hollow like and i know other people had explored everything
and there's nothing left to find uh i first off getting the dlc they did a great job
figuring out a new place to put an actual
exploreable location where the most of the dlc takes place
and the second thing is that it is a sequel oh yeah okay um it is approximately 75 percent
of the length of the base game and it has more mechanics in it than the whole rest of the game
and the
like the eureka moment of understanding the mechanics of the new area are
are about two to three times more mind-blowing than solving the moon's mystery which is the
biggest like light bulb of your head mystery in the original uh it is absolutely a plus super
fantastic incredible and i cannot highly recommend it enough to anybody it's same thing with outer
wilds in general like that that game is is a plus plus um did anyone know how what this was going
to be up before it dropped they called they said it was echoes of the eye which if you had beaten
the the the full game it would have given like a little hint but like really not all that much
and the dlc starts it says there is a new museum exhibit in that first museum area
that you get to that points you to a radio station that's that is a new added area on the
starting planet and you go to the radio station and then there's some photos of the solar system
on the wall and that's what you have to go on so it's silk song
no silk song was a dlc they kept talking about and then they said it was going to be a real game
like uh there was not a single screenshot of any of the new content and any of the lead up to the
stuff the only thing that was known is like the title okay that's it surprise sequel yeah and
i get in there and it does a really fantasy so it's it takes primarily in one area the idea
the idea was that because like silk song was like fat piece of dlc that no one thought was
going to be a fucking full-on sequel and then it's like oh shit this is it's this is a full-on
sequel it's closer to the frog factions cool hat dlc okay okay okay okay um because the the the the
it takes place in like one core area and then you discover that there is more to that core area
than you originally thought which was pretty common in most of the other zones in the game
and then you discover that there's more to that area than you thought and then there's a more even
more to that area that you thought so like the area just keeps growing in size more and more and more
and more and more but traversal time is super super low like getting from the your ship at the beginning
to the start of the new area in terms of like time is like 30 seconds like you can once you know
where to go and fucking get there in a second it's incredible it's absolutely amazing
have you gone through all of it i will not talk about i got through all of it and it changes the
ending too which was its own problem because beating the dlc changes the ending so i'm like okay
well i'll just beat it again well i haven't played it out of wilds's main campaign in 18 months
and figuring out or rediscovering how to correctly navigate the series of steps to get to the credits
which is ostensibly a 12 minute process took me an hour and 12 minutes
dozens of failures so this is still very frustrating this is still the least talk about a
playable good game that's come out yeah there is one thing that you can talk about
which is they added more explicit horror sections in this dlc and it's generally
spookier okay and uh there's enemies that will you know walk around and grab you and uh those
sections are terrible and uh because it's not clear where the enemies are looking
it's not clear how fast they're moving etc so there's an option in the menu that says
lesser frights and when you turn it on the enemies can't run anymore
interesting okay so they become they go from like genuinely difficult antagonists where you're
just trying to read shit on the walls to slow moving minds well the concept of any opposition
beyond like my own ability to pilot is already like surprising to hear
so yeah but games great i cannot highly recommend outer wilds and its dlc more to anyone
that enjoys learning and mysterying about shit unless you have a crippling fear of space
so i was talking to page about it and then as i got into my spaceship and then like whipped
around the sun and you know did a cool orbit to land on a planet like she was like putting her
face in her hands like fucking freaked out because of space and shit like that so if you're terrified
of space somewhat like being terrified of the deep ocean yeah this game's gonna make you vomit every
day but for everybody else probably one of the best games ever played in my life
okay uh what's the dlc campaign called uh echoes of the eye though now they're selling uh the game
as i think it's called the archaeologist edition the whole thing together just includes it probably
the best thing about the dlc is that i can easily imagine if you were a person who because most people
who playing it now beat the outer wilds and then got to the dlc so they know what would be new or
right the dlc is very strongly hidden for players that don't already have a good grasp
on the solar system and i can imagine a situation in which the average player going through various
areas and going oh this must be the dlc oh no this one you have to find it yeah okay and it's like
no no it's not okay you'll know you'll know a hundred percent
is there a title screen yeah that's great pardon is there a title screen that pops up to let you
know you've entered it you know like no yeah but it's okay it's overt
it's very overt okay if if you once once you're at the location you could not possibly
into it anything other than this is the dlc area because it's just gigantic in scope compared to
the average planet like in like in terms of pure landmass the new area is like the combination
of like four of the other planets oh shit okay like it's it's enormous
yeah i have i have other questions but i clearly it's not right i can't ask i mean you can ask but
i'll probably give you some some side talking bullshit yeah does it does it add to the story in
an essential way a hundred percent okay it legitimately answers one of the only outstanding
like plot questions okay has in a very direct manner
and so if someone were to like it's then it's it's an essential piece of this whole experience now
like a hundred percent yeah okay and the time you spend on that compared to the time you spend on
the original base game is what 60 40 okay okay maybe maybe 70 30 like i could actually check
because i did out of wild streams and i beat the whole thing so i just like how many streams
did i spend on the base game versus how many streams did i spend on the dlc
okay so it's about i spent four streams i think on outer wilds i spent two streams on the dlc
okay yeah all right fair enough so it's it's it's it's call it half 12 to 15 versus eight
sick and that's that's pretty much for shit to talk about this week okay if you want to check out
more i would like to announce that i've decided that after many tantrums i will be tackling my
brain head on and i'm doing a new series where i play games that are in explicitly intended to
trigger ocd tantrums so i'm going to be playing dishonored tomorrow what and then metroid comes
out the end of the week what is your do you have a plan of attack yeah a clench and and and muddle
through it okay when that clenching eventually fails should everyone bring rain jackets like a
gallagher show yeah a little bit okay but so like one of the one of the one of the best pieces of
advice i ever got from one of my professors when i was in school was about uh exposure therapy and
dealing with uh shit like that and it's like everyone's different and there's obviously certain
things like pdsd that cannot be dealt with in this way yeah punch moms talk to me about it
but ritualization and bad habits and shit like that
fucking do it pussy is is like the actual end of the road on a lot of that shit
okay like build up to it but you're just gonna have to fucking do it
it but how do i just do it this was a professor that was not teaching any class about therapeutic
this is a forensic scientist now admittedly that if you just also said nah fuck you you can't make
me i'm a runaway forever just now it would have also have been correct so yeah that's also either
version of whatever you just said what it would have worked there so
okay well i gotta say i was kind of hoping that there was i was hoping for one more story from
you but uh i i guess not yet i was hoping for possibly um impressions of chaos and the killing of
chaos and oh i mean the the new demo is the same as the old demo it just has extra stuff on it
is it not like a completely separate new thing no it's it's the it's the same demo but with more
stuff it's just like the neo ones and uh it runs like shit because all i'm worse than the last demo
because all i'm catching are memes here and it's just like yeah highly memed is that is it garland
is that it is it just garland and he's an asshole the trailer i mean the original one no the new
trailer no at the end of the trailer he says my name is jack jack garland oh okay oh yeah okay no i
didn't know i didn't know that but i was like and is the reason why he's such an asshole that he's
just a bad guy does it yeah okay he's the bad guy all right no no that's not it he's not a bad guy
hates chaos okay rather all you see some so he's some jack ass who has an iphone and air pods and
shit this is bullshit i think there was a interview with um numera i want to say it was numera but
it doesn't really matter who it was where they described that um initially the uh marketing
was going to be like what's the deal with the character who who could it be what's happening
and then after the very first you know demo and trailer and all that uh specifically western fans
figured it out like immediately like oh that's garland that's gonna be garland and it's gonna be
the time loop from ff1 it's gonna be the events that cause the time loop in ff1 so they straight up
changed the all the marketing from what's going on to how does this guy become garland why would he
do that and stuff like that okay which is a great way of dealing with it compared to what if we just
rewrote the ending to the game so it was worse so that so then you just start with some asshole
that's yeah man that appears to just be an asshole and there's nothing else going on he's from
he's from the real world and he hates chaos all right well stranger of paradise i forget who
was i want to say it was j i'm not super sure described as like a these a 36 year old gas
station owner who listens to music that was popular when he was a teenager exclusively
that happens to be transported to isekai style to the final fantasy universe and that i mean that's
it okay he's the bad guy i mean if samus talked more she would probably sound like this guy i
no i say that with dread coming out no we're gonna have to kill the metroid no we're gonna hear
we're gonna hear more of her logs and this is post fusion so she's gonna have to figure out how to
deal with this organic suits hey i gotta say uh there was one thing because i'm not a big
like a long-standing 2d metroid fan i'm not up to date but there was something in a recent trailer
for metroid dread that had me burst out laughing because it was so stupid
which was samus travels to this new planet to find out if the x parasite it in fact survived
yeah yeah i did it's gonna survive it's gonna you can it's in the you can see it in the footage
they're using to talk about it right now in the game's engine well it's i was actually i was actually
warned to dodge the new trailer uh so i did yeah yeah because i hear that they're getting really
aggressive with with stuff so i'm just gonna wait that new suits like organic right um yeah so you
had a go fusion has a like the new new thing i i didn't see the full breakdown but i think it's like
a synthesized version of like they fused the state she was in at the end of fusion with like
her original various suit to create a hybrid that's that's part partly yeah something like that
she found a way to make it work because okay fusion she had a new the new thing and it was all
organic and now it's like semi because it's half and half because she got to get the cool shoulder
pads back oh did the fusion suit not have the the big orby shoulder pads they were much smaller
yeah oh that no yeah well yeah no they're bad they're they're they're but no don't care for that
they're they're dope yeah that's it for me so if you want to check out more of my crap you go
twitch.tv slash pat stairs at there it is i'm gonna do uh let's see i'm gonna do
dishonored probably throw a little little baby tantrum i'm gonna do a devotion the taiwanese
horror game that got fucking super cancelled by oh that thing yeah yeah i'm gonna do metroid and i'm
gonna try and finish off mass effect this week uh i had a moment that was just like so frustrating
where i put up the schedule and it says mass effect finale it's got a big fat question mark on it
only to get like five people that are like you'll never beat it on tuesday on wednesday it's it's
much too much it's impossible it's like that's why there's a question mark on it because it's not
certain because it's possible that it's not the finale you'll never ever do it i'll never i'll never
finish it on on once it's impossible it's impossible okay quick bathroom break and then we will be
right back see you in a bit what what what what is so woolly's a little bit out of the loop uh
facebook is gone wait what do you mean i mean it's gone go to facebook now whoa wait wait what is
going on
when did this happen this happened over the past like 90 minutes um facebook is down
and it's so so down that nothing connected to facebook works so what's app is dead uh
fuck instagram is dead facebook is dead the internal email servers are dead oculus if
restarted none of your games can be authenticated so your oculus rift is dead
anything that would use facebook for any reason is dead so um including all the way down to the
locks in the facebook offices use id cards that tag the server so they're all locked
outside of the building or within corridors employees yeah whoa oh my god well that would
explain because yeah well this morning i was trying said is uh well we're experiencing
technical difficulties just wait a little bit uh and people are digging around in the internet
guts and i have um someone at benjamin enfield the academy who uh is going through the routing
data and apparently there's like a massive dns failure okay nothing's pointing to the right spots
but uh the routing isn't just failing it appears to have been deleted so it means that facebook
might be like like gone i mean are there helicopters and feds storming the building
like the fact that the doors are locked is a whole other level fun fact that you mentioned that so
on the geo political news scale last night was the release of the pandora papers yes which was
12 million documents that exposes where all sorts of rich people's money is secretly hidden correct
i don't know if those two things are related okay huh because yeah i this morning um i was trying
to yeah i was trying to message my family and like i saw it was just like yeah it instantly
is over is connecting connecting and then i just checked and i saw that it's like oh yeah the um
so whoa okay and that means so that wouldn't that mean also um uh yeah like instant yeah you
said instagram and all their all their partner things instagram whatsapp oculus and no word about
what the fuck it actually is technical difficulties like if it was hackers or some kind of attack
it wouldn't affect the physical location you know
damn i don't know about i don't personally know enough about the guts of the internet
to be able to tell you with certainty what i do know is that people who do know more about the
guts of the internet are saying that this isn't just disastrous it's potentially calamitous
for the site's infrastructure could it be papers have things bad things kill it clear out traces of
the bad things before we go back on it's funny because like facebook is like a net evil in our
society so like if it just died and didn't come back up that'd be good some people would be free
mentally there'd be some peace to be found but no that would be good but i'm definitely like what
the shit causes the employees to be locked out you know is that a thing that's people
that a long time fan in the chat saying it's a bgp config error it's also an ip wipe as well
i mean that might be the case but i don't know what those words mean
at all i've never heard them in my life
oh we have people who work for oculus in our chat it's been going on since early this morning
we're all dead in the water no no internal tools are working at all okay so they're at the office
the tools are just not working people are not locked out of the building
no some people at the facebook offices in general are in fact locked out of the building because
because the id cards are server red okay and the server's dead so the id card doesn't open
it's this wonderful idea of like maybe you shouldn't um maybe you shouldn't tie every single part of
everything to a unified central technical device maybe something like a key like old fashioned key
well i mean the timing couldn't be more impeccable considering the uh the nature of that that
article that popped up uh yesterday that was called give amazon and facebook a seat at the united
nations have you seen this given the scope of their ambitions and our dependence on them
behemoth brands should be treated and held to account for what they really are commercial super
powers and it's like like internet what like we've got what got a redoing
fucking stop network technician in the chat if the bgp is dead and the routing table is gone
you've basically got brand new equipment they'll have to rebuild the entirety of the facebook
backend now i'm not an expert but that sounds hard and deliberate time consuming and deliberate
it could be accidental but that sounds extraordinarily deliberate for the site to not
lead to a thing saying sorry we're down but to lead to a no one owns this website domain style
nothing
fucking some dumb kid from your school could like feels like he could go buy the the url the domain
name you know um wow okay well uh that is some wild fucking unexpected news um
but give him a seat at the united nations it'd be nice if if the if the zuck just had a heart
attack and died from the stress because they're doing that thing that corporations do where the money
in their stock uh in their stock machine the magic stock machine that gives them the money
it's go down now it's go it's go down it's go very down very down right now very down okay well i
mean this is actually the kind of situation that it would be completely appropriate for the stock
price of of something to go down if the fucking thing that has to work 100 of the time every day
doesn't and you didn't tell anybody what happened that's not good to including the people who put
the money for go up then yeah money money go down that that tracks oh so yeah facebook go down
now if this ends up being called the big down that'd be really cool
that would make me happy the big the big down will be uh in about eight or nine years
when the entire internet goes down no i want the big down now no um that'll be the big down
no that'll no that could just be the bigger down no yes
we do you know i work on the internet literally every single day and i don't know how this shit works
i hit this button and i go hey everybody and then uh money happens would you like would
you like me to explain how it works because i have i have no i have a really is it tubes
is it information tubes i have a really clear explanation let's hear it this week the podcast
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because they had good pizza but they didn't have shitty pizza and he more often than not wants
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of the internet works yeah yeah yeah good i thought you were gearing up for a vibrator ad
like i genuinely thought that last one was going to be a vibrator ad
uh not yet we haven't been so lucky but i promise you that um if the door opens in that direction
we're going full steam ahead i'll i'll i'll do sex freak product ads in a second hell yeah see
i've i've been i've been asked about and very much not down for a couple of flavors of things
you know i'm like look let's be real here how many of you guys out there listening to this
want to want to hear about half feet how many of you guys out there how are are are interested
in brands of chewing tobacco dip what kind of dip do you do you spit oh like they keep asking us
about you know are we gonna reach out to the gamer crowd and see if you guys are interested in
tobacco dip no okay well you know i kind of i i i didn't think so so perhaps that's not the best
fit you know um how about some uh throw your fucking life away gambling would you be down
would you be down for some ridiculous horseshit gambling i think what's what's fascinating to me
is that one of the only times i ever had like a pushy marketer in my business email stop contacting
me was one of the casino people and i was like i'm in canada i'm pretty sure i can get arrested
for advertising your product i see okay so so so the feeling i'm getting here is sports gambling
no but waifu gambling yes i mean yeah i got a fucking oh let me check my god damn message
required i got a fucking banger in here uh do you want to uh oh god what is this
inquiring about promotions and rates uh we love to give a fresh and trustworthy perspective on
new age pharmaceuticals specializing in mental health and sexual wellness by selling many psychedelic
infused products that went like four different directions i like from the start of the sentence
yeah i'm like what's the rates for advertising on your page so like should i even write back to this
because i should just write back like ten thousand dollars a day just just keep in mind okay that it's
like every time you hear a wreck every time you hear a little spot to go check out titans
on the fucking cw what you're not hearing is tobacco dip and big old gamble debt sports
gamble okay yeah all right let's let's get one thing straight i will gladly threaten to shave your
balls any day of the week and they sent me this big pdf instead of going that other route oh dude
watch the dumb show i'll shave your balls holy check this chart out they sent me i'm gonna send
it to a discord check this chart wow that's growth wait that chart goes to 2028
that fucking chart is like a fucking curve up to the top and like the end date on it is projected
2028 future doesn't say projected but it is it is in fact going into the future
natural supplement growth it's good it's good folks all right oh you understand what i'm saying
so just order the fucking food and get the goddamn headphones come on it's real simple folks
you can do both eat the food and listen to the headphones this can go a lot of different ways
um what's going on this week okay yeah there's gonna be a new smash character announced tomorrow
oh yeah you know say what you will right the the the last big hurrah uh sakurai even tweeted out
in english to tell you to tune in and i think it's because he knows that it's like there is no way
to meet expectations on this so you're probably gonna have to subvert them somehow it's the final
smash dlc character so obviously it's going to be the coolest and most important one or anything
less would be a huge disappointment but here's here's the method to my madness right what if it's
three disappointments
oh man right oh like oh come on so good that's fucking solid
i think that's pretty solid
oh but wait there's more another disappointment and then another one because we came at it
hard you know yeah the other absolute ultimate would be like it's gino waluigi and dr luigi
voiced by uh charlie day yeah so i mean that that's it's it's it's gonna be uh it's gonna be fort
night man it's gonna be uh jonesy or maybe even a feature that like a consolation prize which is
like more aggressive reskins of existing characters to get to get a bunch of like clones
clone costumes in there it's silver yeah the hedgehog yeah you know a lot more just to get
more of those in ride in even though he's doing all the snakes moves whatever you get it
all right what else what else we got um so there's a the first story that i saw was
twofold because uh there was an initial report that a number of developers according to a rumor
at least 11 companies had dev tools from nintendo for making switch games run at 4k
yeah and uh apparently this was just a dev kit thing and i i i that's something i can
believe there's shit like that that exists that you you know it's like this is here but that
doesn't mean you can actually use it on a retail build of anything um but the idea is that it exists
and possibly then it'll be future proof for if that becomes a possibility however it clearly isn't
but the second new story alongside this is that uh a newly published patent shows that nintendo
has plans for dlss style ai upscaling and uh it mentions upscaling to 4k
wow so um it's not exactly outputting clean 4k but they're looking into something that can use
a neural network to convert the images to a higher resolution so i assume the shit we've
been seeing on on youtube with like some of those amvs and some of the other uh ai learning
machine learning based upscale videos now i don't assume that any of this will have any actual
ramifications with what they put out until it's another piece of hardware but i kind of feel
like it's another example of nintendo has the ability to do these things but either a they just
said fuck it we're not spending the money on that but we but we put the possibility in there
you know kind of like we just got bluetooth um or they want to posture as if they can keep
up with this generation when it's been clear from like five or six of them ago that nintendo has said
look we give up on tech we're just gonna offer games here's what i think
that no one will get what they want out of this situation like all i want is a version of uh
higher warriors or whatever the new one is that runs with five extra frames a second
that's all i literally just want that and then they will look at me and they will take their
plans for the new nintendo switch and they will throw it in the garbage okay nintendo
denies reports of 4k switch dev kits being sent to developers nintendo has officially denied reports
that 4k switch dev kits uh have been sent out they were false and they do not to have plans to
release any model other than the oled so to create understanding like a for real new switch i mean
they do got the oled coming out like they they would they don't want anybody to know about
whatever but um i i endured um like what i wanted to say like was six years of the we hd is totally
coming out dude and then many years of dude the we you without the game pad is totally
gonna come out dude and now we're at the switch that doesn't run like shit is totally gonna come out
dude you know what would have helped me a long time ago if back during the nintendo 64 era i would say
right then if nintendo basically came out and said look guys from here on out we are not
gonna be doing anything impressive in terms of hardware but oh the gamecube was but it was
wasn't it still like under cutting edge compared to uh uh ps2 at the time no or am i or cube it's
much stronger than the ps2 okay where like where was the exact drop off that i'm thinking of then
it was the way was it specifically the way because i feel and they said that they did
literally say that they said we're never gonna chase the bleeding edge of technology okay ever
again did they say did they actually say that yes they literally said that okay saying that for like
10 years okay because i know that they've always said like we're gonna focus on innovation but i
feel as if there is a feeling of like but will it at least do this but will it at least support that
and you each time it's just been like nope but here's the new thing and in many cases it was a
cool new thing to to control or try out but you always kind of were like man this psp screen is
so big and shiny damn you know why can't i why can't this be the the way it goes from now on
and it's like well because like that's how they're gonna they're gonna they're gonna save money on
everything they're putting out from here on out because i've i had a long period of time
they even said shit like that with the fucking 3ds we're like we're not too worried about you know
big graphics we think the innovation that the 3d provides will be more important for the
the now i mean it's it's entirely possible that around the time that these console were started
heating the fuck up that like if nintendo went and tried to stay cutting edge with everything
that like they could have crashed and fucking burned super hard oh yeah instead they made
shit zillions of dollars it was a smart move but you know but um but i just i would like the
the ability to peek into a world where like the nintendo console was the was still like
one of the main choices for most of the shit coming out and not just the like i'm grabbing it for the
for the first party chef uh in a set and serving a separate function i mean that that literally
hasn't been true since the super nintendo but that's what i mean i'd be i'd be curious to see a
reality where that that did continue you know and where they made they made a shit ton of money
off of the shit would suck ass off of what i suppose would have been the the uh well no the
disc it would have been a disc version of ff7 you know no that that that universe fucking sucks
because then the nintendo console that has the first party stuff and all the third party stuff is
also saddled with the absolute worst online and feature set of any console to ever release ever
this is so you're like well i have it because i bought mario on it but now there's no fucking
voice chat and call of duty because fucking nintendo and i'll just sit like see and then the online
problem isn't a um money and expense issue as much as it is a philosophy issue so they might they
would likely still be saddled with that that's a good point that's fair
if it was cash that could solve all the other issues of like you know making your hardware the
one that most people want to put their shit out on um they if and they still even if the hardware
was the same dealing with nintendo sucks compared to dealing with the other console manufacturers
like well so here you are you know you remember you remember listening to indies talk about like
can we fucking please get like an like a mention in like your fucking direct thing and nintendo
would come back and go no lol no you won't even have a splash page for you in the store
e-shop goes down so does everything on it forever and um
um all that delicious important curbie lore lost because the billboard the bulletin boards
have were never backed up or archived like you're you're describing a situation and unironically
most games would have had uh cut down or toned down content wise versions because nintendo
would step in tends tends to push for for lower violence and lower sex on the creative angle in
general and you would have like the call of duty that like had no blood or whatever and i know that
hasn't been the case for a while but that's because nintendo hasn't had the ability to push that for
a while back in the day when they were top of the fucking roost they'd censor shit all over the
fucking place take that cross out of casylvania bayo two did come out but that was well after they
had they no longer had that lead yeah um well anyway so a bunch of weird nintendo 4k things
but it turns out it's not true and something something about upscaling but um don't don't
fucking don't believe it till i see it don't don't bet on it also think about how think about how
awful like double awful streaming and recording video games would be if nintendo was the dominant
console manufacturer with their policies yeah like transplant current day policies
over it sucks but transplant the policies of top of the industry nintendo over like it
it'd be fucking because then you'd have like oh cool nintendo ported everything you know it has a
port of everything on it cool that means nintendo is going to claim every single game regardless
of what platform i play it on and say well listen nintendo you can't play at all but you pay us it
has the anti-share button press it to report that you have a video that we should monetize
for ourselves as soon as you finish making the clip like nintendo makes great games but
their company is fucking dumb about video games yeah that no it is it is true that the dinosaur
power was only weakened by the competition stepping in and running the show uh after the fourth generation
but um i just i just i can't i just every time i look at one of these stories about like
some piece of hardware that other people have figured out that that sony and microsoft figured
out that nintendo is just getting around to it just feels like uh like you know it just it's not
there there was a point at which they were like look we're not going to be bleeding edge but then
that kind of feels like it fell back towards bare minimum as time went on i mean to be blunt
especially with the online shit the infrastructure over nintendo has been more or less the same
for like 40 years
like it's actually the same dinosaurs they're all along okay now you've convinced me that reality
would suck that's fine like i i suspect and i hope it's not in the near future because miyamoto
seems like a nice enough guy but when miyamoto eventually passes away i imagine there will be a
significant shift inside that company
hmm in whatever direction like i don't know how but like
hmm that dude has his ideas of how games can and should be made and they have been definitive
i wonder the company for a long time i wonder if it comes with a shift or if it comes with
you know people are currently in positions that also buy into and agree with these philosophies
you know like there could be to say man there could be an encircling of like lots of people
currently who are you know at on the board of directors that are also majorly fans of this
type of philosophy so i mean it's it's it's interesting because you got some companies
in the game business that are staffed and run by primarily dinosaur human hybrids
um they might be too young to be pure dinosaurs but they have the dinosaur dna within them
okay and that's just the that's just the the way things are done okay and it's built into it
now you have other companies um that are run by mostly humans and um uh they have the occasional
um uh vicious self-serving dinosaur um that causes shit tons of problems for them
that they can eventually eject and free themselves of the dinosaur energy okay and
that dinosaur will be leaving falling into a pit yelling oh no but they will finally be ejected
so that the the humans can continue to evolve but first we have to grow but first we have to go
through the bloody roar beastarizer era where the half the half types right those who turn into a
dinosaur and then back into a human must rule first the animorphs age must be a part of nintendo
before we get the humans in control again yeah okay and then you have other places
in which uh you have um mostly normal humans at the lower ends of the company but they are ruled
by dinosaurs at the top who happen to hang out together like a bunch of sex perverts
and worship the grand dinosaur cosbo violence for violence is the rule of beasts yeah
i feel like we've completely lost the metaphor here but it was fun to do no i i i'm following along
in fact i would describe the situation you're describing with with the lead turbo dinosaur at
the top as a some kind of crisis yeah it's a crisis of sorts
some kind of cosbo crisis
and then you go you ask the biggest oldest dinosaur what he was doing on
there on the most evil dinosaurs playing of all why was your name on there codosaur
the plane going to dinosaur island i'm out okay all right we've pushed this too far i'm getting
a glass of water dinosaur island is island safe from the meteors
we're not the first people to come up with dinosaur islands
maybe maybe that's the true dynautopia
you you get on the plane so that it lands in dynautopia and now you're in a perfect world
of happiness and you can fly on your skybacks where there's no meteors to threaten you nothing
to threaten you just a weird old church don't think too hard about it fun dinosaurs
and there's president dinosaur
hollywood dinosaur hollywood dinosaur hollywood dinosaur prince dinosaur damn wow
the kevin hard of sore is there that's crazy didn't even think he was a dinosaur
i think we've kind of mixed the messaging on this i'm not saying anything this horrible about me
a moto we're we're we're losing it but it's okay yeah um you know what'll bring it back
Shakira all right Shakira was in the news this week because she was attacked by a pair of
wild boars oh yeah that happens and uh you gotta understand that listen from time to time
your favorite celebrities might be attacked by feral hogs in this case true they they stole her bag
and retreated into the woods apparently australia's got a hog problem as of right now australia um
in this case it seems like uh she was in columbia uh in barcelona uh rather um and uh yeah hogs are
you gotta is that why you need your um your big guns to protect your children from the 30 to 50
wild boars that rush in the area yard when you're not looking feral hogs almost took Shakira
yeah that guy got like she needed to be strapped a lot less silly once simultaneous news of many
worldwide boar attacks occurred yeah hey by the way if you live in an area in which you may encounter
feral hogs uh don't fuck with them no they will kill you it turns out um that like pigs and like
boars and hogs and all that shit are just the same animal adapted to different environments
yeah that's probably the wildest thing uh if you take a pig and let the gate open
and let the pig just run into the wilderness it will turn into a boar that's a mate that's crazy
that's the most pokemon shit of the entire it's in the world it's it's the like it's not like oh
its kids will become feral and they'll adapt quickly like no the kid the pig will transform
into a boar the horns will grow the fur will grow its color will change the darkening and it's like
and i remember it started with the idea of like uh warning to all um you know pet owners like uh the
mini pigs are a scam there is no such thing as a mini pig it is just a pig but it is small
and when it eats enough it will become a real pig like the the the whole thing is just like oh
that's such a cute little thing and that's you're holding a baby charmander you know reminds me of uh
i don't know if you ever heard of this there's a channel you know i'm gonna bet willy that you
have not heard about this there's a channel called ester the wonder pig no i have not was the these
these two guys they got they got a they got a baby pig and they were oh cool raise a little baby pig
as a pet and then ester was not a not a mini pig nope ester is a fucking horse yeah so they said
ah oh well they moved out into the fucking country with ester and then they got a fucking
they got some turkeys and shit and they're living that farm life now they got a youtube channel where
they just hang out with cornelius the turkey and ester the wonder pig oh so stories and so they
figured it out that's cool yeah okay because i think um ariana grande and uh pete davidson
you know where they had to figure it out because they had one they had a quote unquote mini pig
it's piggy smalls and it was cute you know it was a fun little idea but then you learn that
with enough time and food this will just be a hog so the name piggy smalls is unironically
completely perfect for this situation yeah as you thought it was piggy but no it was biggie
and then it then it eventually became notorious pig you know like it just it happened um yeah i i uh
that's the fucking that's the most pokemon shit nature has ever had to offer in my opinion
is the adaptability pig i have they're nice yeah but you also have to remember while you're
petting it that these things will eat human remains and till there's nothing left yeah so the
cool thing about the cool thing about pigs is that they're sweet and they're very smart and
you want to hug them um but they will eat you if they have the chance like you know that joke of
like a cow would eat you and your whole family no a pig will eat you it'll kill you and eat you
um so you get to not feel that bad and if there's a bunch of the hog the bunch of them
and they're particularly hungry like they might try to knock you down you know so anyway
good luck to secure a fake pig in my house
oh yes good luck to secure yes do you
yeah i got a fake pig it's my pig dog
well it's nice we made it through a conversation uh about pigs and we didn't mention
their half hour orgasms
learned about that one
in the course of the story no actually at the is that because of Shakira no no learned about
that one in um in the world's phallus museum of iceland
well you didn't know that i heard it before that was a plague fact but then i read but then i
relearned it it was originally a plague fact but then i relearned it upon visiting the phallus
museum in iceland yeah you know it's one of those things where like i hear you hear it and you're
like yeah and then you like halfway between the the the a and the h of your yeah you're like no wait no
well um we got another hot rumor
because that's what we're becoming we're becoming rumor mongers yeah hot rumor show
konami is set to revive metal gear castlevania and silent hill speaking specifically about a remake
of snake eater and apparently these projects since konami hasn't put out anything um i think
it was again the last castlevania game was lords of shadow um uh to the portable one there
and um apparently a lot of the rumors are specifying that this game uh these projects
are going to be headed up by uh what was the studio called
um
shit excuse me i just lost it the guys that worked on dark souls remastered
virtuos yeah um dark souls remastered outer worlds bioshot collection
um and some some content uh some side development for battlefield one untrarted four and horizon
zero dawn you're right willy the konami the the company that was prior to a few years ago releasing
the critically acclaimed pes soccer series as one of their only remaining old franchises that they
kept going only to release what may be the shittiest soccer game ever released those screenshots are
pretty funny football 2022 those screenshots are pretty good they're gonna gear up after losing the
entirety of the metal gear staff to everywhere else well i'm a jump on into a snake eater remake
i'm not right it's whoever this rumor person is is telling these stories um this is uh yeah
apparently someone who is saying that the restructure from earlier this year is trying to
focus on bringing the brands that they have back and um it went on to mention that yeah what will
happen so uh working with virtuos is gonna be the way that they're gonna bring back metal gear
salad hill and castlevania um you know i've been listening to this video game news shit
for much of my life and there's this type of rumor that comes out that i would classify in
man they should do that they're doing it in that it's not real but it's something that somebody
thinks they should do so people will just believe any fucking rumor about it whatsoever i remember i
was on a podcast they very much liked called the kajima frequency a little while ago and a significant
amount of that was in dealing with metal gear solid one remake rumors and they were going through
each of these rumors to come out and i just kept saying over and over like that's not gonna happen
there's no reason for real to actually believe that would happen they just tossed everyone
involved with metal gear out a window like a year or two ago why would any but there's there's no
no and it always runs back to the genuine underneath thing of like but i want it so they
should do it though but pat don't forget that it can always happen incompetently that's true
that's very true this continues to be a reality where that can occur
so um
new silent hill game made by bloober team would be about as bad as it could possibly get
i mean metal gear metal gear went out on survive in 2018 and castlevania went out
on lords of shadow 2 in 2014 so
incompetence go ahead i just literally scrolled past a rumor going around right now
post blue point getting eaten up by sony which was like i heard blue points going to yarn them
next and it's like did you hear that or did you think that was cool if it happened
so you set it out yeah no that's recess talk that's recess passing the ball around going yeah no but
yeah i think it would be cool they should do it the source of most rumors
uh well um so there you go then keeping up that recess talk
here's a little a little nothing into something uh square enix trademarks valkyrie elysium
possibly something to do with valkyrie profile however it will absolutely be something to do
with valkyrie profile the latest thing they put out was valkyrie anatomia which was an
android ios mobile game um from a couple years ago hey guess what
yeah valkyrie mobile it's gonna be one of those it might be valkyrie mobile it's the valkyrie
profile gotcha game get ready but um as of as of this this whatever announcement it's just the
name valkyrie elysium so we'll whatever that means have you seen i i gotta i gotta say out of all
the complaints i have against mobile games or whatever and all that crap the number one problem
that i actually have in my day-to-day life is how they've ruined the experience of finding out about
new games because certain companies and certain things it's like what could this be and like the
default background thought of like it's oh it's probably some fucking mobile gambling garbage
mm-hmm until you're happily pleased to find out that it's not um i wonder if and when
we're gonna see the trademark like patent process as a calculated step in the beginning of a
marketing plan patent shit that don't exist exactly start fucking with people see what the
responses and then and then gauge the temperature from there uh have you seen lemnis gate yes i
played it oh okay because yeah it's out and uh this is something that looks pretty fucking
interesting it's the other loop time fps thing that's not about death looping but death looping in
the other way in fact this sounds like this is the game that should be called death loop but
anyway um i i feel um like i remember seeing the premise for this and immediately it was like that
sounds super fucking cool but also has potential to fall apart completely if it isn't exactly what
it promises to be yeah so uh what is it like have you like having if you touched it so imagine
you're playing Overwatch mentally put yourself there you're playing Overwatch got it okay it's
first person shooter you there's 10 characters that got powers and shit and they got a gun okay cool
there's objectives it's like capture the flag or like shoot this thing or you know what have you
so uh what happens is you're gonna load in and the other guy's gonna load in and you're both gonna
have 25 seconds to do whatever with your characters okay you're gonna you did it okay cool the point
the the time is over cool 25 seconds done right now you're gonna pick the next character and the
events that took place with the last pair of characters will still keep going and if you
want to kill that other guy so that he doesn't kill your second guy you can but be careful because
he might have shot that guy and if you get killed during your run if you kill the guy you that killed
you on the next one your ghost actions will persist and so far and so on the best explanation
that I saw for how it plays was in one of the user reviews which was it's like playing Overwatch
but you play every single person on the teams that you don't have to deal with shitty teammates
interns yeah that's sick yeah so um and that makes me think of like Gradius 7 or sorry Gradius
5 rather um yeah at at certain points but uh what happens if you get killed on a run and then the
next run over you stop that person from killing you what happens to that ghost the ghost actions
will continue so an ai will take over so let's let's say no let's say it's turn one right
and I am shooting the point to power up the generator or whatever right and the other team
his turn the first thing he does is snipe me in the head and I die right mm-hmm well and that happens
at 10 seconds in the timeline mm-hmm right when you die you still maintain control of your character
it just tell you get an animation it tells you you're dead oh that I was missing that okay that
makes sense shooting the point got you got you got you and then on turn two okay second four
I snipe his sniper yes which deletes his kill shot from the timeline got it which means that my
original guy keeps shooting the point okay the crucial piece of information I was missing
is that after you got head shotted you kept playing yeah you get to keep playing that's
what makes it make sense got it okay you fill out the timeline no matter what uh I I I played a
little bit of it and uh it's really cool and the the fucking mechanic is super solid I feel but
it's really great and then I played a couple matches and I was like wow this game is great
and then I went and took a shower because I was covered in brain sweat and then I uninstalled it but
did not refund it because they deserve the money but like okay okay okay okay like sweating it was
too much yeah okay good no that's good like it's it's very mentally intense it's successfully
doing what it promised and that was too much okay yeah
baba is it's probably the closest experience to actually playing 5d chess that there currently is
well there's actually a game called 5d chess you can buy oh did serlan make it no it's uh
it's a game where you play chess across multiple timelines okay it's pretty it's pretty complicated
I bought it I was very confused oh yeah yeah um okay yeah I love this gate so that I picked that up
and I was gonna be to take a peep at it and be like oh maybe this would be fun to take a quick
look at so might do that because the time fuckery sounds interesting and like and I kind of wonder
I'm like at a certain point like is each turn just gonna be like fuck you I'll kill you first
in a in a like preemptive kind of um Mexican standoff kind of like I shot you so you shot him so
you shot him or should you just gun to the goal you know like how do you play the mental game
or do you run out and snipe in a direction where he potentially might be and then turn
around and keep going to the goal even though he hasn't played that turn yet you know that's the
stuff that I get excited about I like the idea of that like you're probably gonna go to this
sniper's perch so I'm gonna shoot here a couple times at this point to make you think it's dangerous
even though I don't know if you're gonna go there yet I have a new piece of news
let me just double check it before I
say it out loud
okay it's breaking news
dead by daylight's newest collaboration will be for honor
okay
the warden is getting out there making friends
what sure
it's not a chapter release it's some kind of halloween event
so who's the monster no it's not chapter release that means it's not gonna be a monster it could
be a costume for an existing monster or like I don't know
hmm
so that's weird doesn't that mean that that confirms that
biken is now in the same universe as resident evil
yeah and thus guilty gear
yeah
well we've long established the omniverse
no I know I'm just
okay
for honor all right
that that to me shows that not like it like at first you see sam shown you go that's a weird
possibly one-off little guesting thing but here it's like no no no they're trying ubs trying to push
for honor as a user guestables in your game kind of thing kind of like shovel night gets out there
you know yeah some games push their characters to show up in others like
probably as a as a a regular thing that that that that feels like you're gonna see a lot more of this
okay sure
um so we had those and then uh not much but just there was the little arxist event
where um a lot of streamers expected strive news asses got blown out as they only talked about
ancient kunio and river city girls too
so the weirdest thing about that reasonable sorry reasonable uh river city girls too trailers
they don't show off the new characters in it at all they yeah they just show off the the new
shit that the old characters are doing um no they show um now they don't show the hoodie girl but
they show um what's the what's her name the other girl i think with the ponytail they show they
they show one of them um i forget her name but anyway it uh it it looks fucking impeccable
and it looks like they've they've built on off of the juggle system to create even more
juggle freedom that none of us will know how to do properly i won't i won't know how to do it
but the combo video tweets will be dope that'll be good and i'll be like wow that looks cool
i'm gonna try it oh i can't do it and just go listen to the music yeah
i mean i you know i don't mean to i don't mean to laugh at the at the poor man's suffering but
just seeing buttons losing his mind over the fact that kunio is still sprites
just what do you mean because like they announced the new kunio game and it was like kunio but it's
the past and he's got armor and it's you know whatever ancient uh uh sword warrior style
and he's just like it's like of course fucking kunio just an all caps rage tweet because like the
franchise can't move past it you know and it's at the same time as like something like river city
shows you how cool hot new shit can look and uh he's just yeah it was just a it was just a funny
moment of realization and defeat i suppose because you know sprites are good those sprites
they're not not just that they hold legacy especially in japan and uh there's there's people
that you know uh want to see those sprites continue to live on it's the anti morrigan
spright fiasco people cheer and celebrate those sprites every year look he's got the same little
like i'm ordering one one one meal please but now he's got the the old armor on
barf yeah you hit the kids they say barf
anyway uh river city two fucking sick and lastly just uh uh uh more of a old news update
is um one of the devs over at retro uh former staffer uh brian walker who is senior producer
on metroid prime two and three um those games are good said that metroid prime three originally
was conceptually supposed to be an ambitious open world game they wanted the ship to be a huge part
of uh an open world traversal system that would have samus going around um tons of locations
way less linear leave that and um it was really really big they didn't they weren't able to prototype
it but they did have uh some details that they were planning and then uh they got
and then when they got to see the specs for the we they realized none of this would be possible
and so they then had to completely change the the idea to what we got that's great
um they were looking at the 360 and they're looking at the ps3 and seeing what was possible there
and kind of envisioning what they were going to do but then um reality set in as they got
handed those specs oh i guess you could aim and give people wrist pain
that's a that's a good use of yeah the quote is you know it's weird we were all a little concerned
sorry i feel like i'm the only person who got horrible wrist playing pain after playing metroid
it it was i didn't find it that bad but it it yeah there's like the three again we talked about
the worst ones like fucking kittacris and shit um but anything that required like holding up the
the remote in that way that you couldn't just casually rest on your lap for a while uh would be
annoying but uh yeah the quote was we were a little concerned to be blunt when they wrote but
then they rolled out the we remote and then in unison the team went ah okay and so they just
changed it all around all they changed the whole thing to focus around that with a much more linear
story so well i mean in the end you know they did they did what they could and they made that work
but it does kind of make me like again just like earlier feel like you know here we have an example
of like what a really fucking good team unable to make what they wanted to because nintendo was
just like yeah you're getting like fucking half of what you thought you were owned
anyway let's take a letter and let's take one letter maybe two letter
depends on how long the letter is and if they're good letters if they're good letters we could
take one but if they're shit letters it's all up to you people send it into castle super beast
mail gmail.com there you go only the good ones stop sending in bad ones
that'll that'll work that'll you that'll tell them not ones that you think are good like actually good
ones all right so justin case says hello dogborn from woolly dogborn woolly and wine drowned pat
last week you sort of implied that doc decoy octopus was among other things uh another black guy who
dies first my brother and i were talking about this and we came to the conclusion that decoy
was in fact a guy in blackface that dies first thoughts absolutely correct we were wrong decoy
octopus in blackface than anyone's ever been decoy octopus is not the black guy who dies first
doddle anderson fills that trope in but technically decoy is the white guy from mexico
in blackface who dies first artwork from koji yoji excuse me confirms it that the true deep
the true uh decoy octopus is a is a white dude
correct
yeah no he's he's
the first just in a shame really the first instance of blackface in the kojima universe
recorded right there mgs one that's the fucking game that needs a remake really well
you fucking idiot
you just played yourself
got one coming in from
calib says hey fly kite man and drink wine man been thinking about tetsuya nomura flat out
declaring that kingdom hearts three is to be the end of the zina hort saga before immediately
following up with two additional zina hort zina nort zina nort whatever the fuck uh games
i'm sure it's gonna be some sort of nomura technicality but it still gives a good laugh
for me to think about uh what are your favorite outright lies in video games there's only one
that i always think of every single time mr micami is there any chance that this game
resident evil 4 will not be a game cube exclusive do you think it could come out on the playstation
2 quote i will cut my own head off with a chainsaw if resident evil 4 comes out on
the playstation 2 end quote that's and like the wildest thing about that is that the game was
being developed for the ps2 before he said that so like it's not like it wasn't a lie at the time
and then it's like situation changed like that was like nine months before it came out on ps2 it was
already occur like yeah okay i didn't know that part that's fucking great um
a part of my heart always goes towards uh hideo trying to imply that he's quitting
the mgs games as far back as snake heater yeah well mgs quit him like the level of stupid fucking
who's gonna be the director not me excuse me i'm out of here i'm tired of directing this franchise
only to do they're fucking it up all they're fucking it up they're stupid but like you were on
the before the halfway point of that franchise when you were saying i'm leaving fuck this you know
no place for hideo that's so that's uh that's always a funny one um my number one for the
mount rushmore because yeah that's another the chainsaw is a good one my number one is quite
simply the screenshot of the back of a ps3 circa 2006 when they showed off what it was supposed to be
around the same time as the banana controller you got to see uh it had a power plug and the switch
and eight or nine ports it had three ethernet ports it had two usbs two hdmi's
uh fucking like hdmi's was always the absolute wildest because the explanation was you could get
two tv's and plug the ps3 into both and have it be extra widescreen it was the biggest craziest lie ever
date the implications of the back of a ps3 and if you haven't seen it um there's a great
screenshot on an old site called the uk resistance and they have the before and after where all the
before ports are labeled with the word lie lie lie lie oh that's good pointing out each one
and it's just like the thing you got didn't even remotely approach what you promised much
less the shit that was in the front the extra ports and the flash drives and the fucking
it was insane here i'm sending you the link oh ps3 lie watch oh i love it oh the lies
the lies yeah so that's that's my favorite lie do you remember the ps3 like showcase where
they showed off a bunch of games that were coming to the ps3 and like literally every single game
they showed was a lie was it was that the uh resistance here that i don't know about that but
like killzone rather no it wasn't that year but it was like they showed off games that were coming
out and like every single game shown was like a fake cg teaser back when they thought they could
get away with it but when they did though because my friends would then get hype you know and come
to work or school and be like oh yeah no it looks so fucking sick you just yeah i can't wait for
agent for ps3 by rock star this is just a render
yeah it's fucking it's not real um that's that's that's the best lie there cool
uh yeah those are i'd say those are two good ones i'm satisfied with that they were all right
all right everybody we'll leave it there consider the podcast defeated you have a good one
have a good night or day or whatever fuck it bye