Castle Super Beast - CSB 143: To Reach Bad 3D Horses We Must Go Through Florida
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Let's go!
Hey, what's up? How's it going? Hey! Good afternoon, Willie. How are you today?
Good, good. Things are okay. Not too bad. Not too bad. We're managing.
Okay, fantastic. I'm a little late on this. I'm about two weeks late on this, but I just
saw the news today, and I want to give a big shout out to everybody out there,
everybody listening to this, everybody worldwide, and particularly those of us
who, or those of us, those who live in the British Isles or the former British
Empire. I want to thank you for your hard work. Enough damage has been done to the
Queen of England. She is entering a new phase. We've broken through and moved to
a new phase on the Queen. We're almost there. Okay, okay. What phase is that?
I'm gonna assume you didn't see those articles. Have the vocals start kicking
in on the boss fight? It is. It is the most baffling series of articles I've
ever seen about the Royal Family, in which they all say the Queen has retreated
to the palace and has entered a new phase. You can literally look up Queen of
England new phase, and you'll find these fucking weirdo articles. New phase. Okay.
Yeah. And people are wondering if she is pupating possibly. We may not see her for a
while. Okay, I see. I just know she's gonna step down off a chariot and take
her coat off. No, this is this is the rules of nature. Like the boss fight
vocals are kicking in towards the end, you know, as you're doing hype shit and
popping off. This is when it all this in all seriousness. No, though, it's
because she's fucking old. Okay. It's not because she's decided to pull out the
moonlight greatsword and went, Ah, you were by my side all along. What's
likely is in fact that she is in poor health and is old and is not going to
be making purple. Sorry, purple public appearances because passerby's notice. Hey,
why are the Queen's body parts purple and dead? And she was in the hospital
yesterday and was whisked from the from the palace to the hospital back to the
palace. My guiding moonlight, which means everybody out there with your negative
thoughts. I want you to stop that. I want you to stop. Take a break. You've earned
it. Take a full day of rest and tomorrow you start those negative thoughts
again as hard as you ever had right there, right there.
You know, I feel like we're headed for a weird era where like the center of it, I
feel like the center of attention when I was a kid would shift. Maybe it's just
because it was my perception, but in terms of like, you know, global attention, it
feels like it would always shift backwards towards a like, what's up? I just saw
so many in the chat yell out the Queen 1% and rage. Okay. And sure, sure. More. You
or more dots, more dots, more dots, more dots and range, and then you got to start
over.
The floor pattern is wild. Call in the tank. You have to take this hit.
Yeah, I can't. I can't. I can only follow so many steps into this joke into this
very into the job. Yeah, I know that's fine. That's fine. Um, but, uh, no, the The
I was just, anyway, I was just going to say that, like, I feel like the center, the
center of attention is going to be on a whole bunch of like young people getting
older and it's going to stay on the old people for a while. Yeah, that's that's
how it go. Yeah. And, but like, I think it might be a little bit like more focused
on the old, like with, because it feels like, I don't know. Um, it hasn't been as
gradual. It hasn't been as gradually moving towards the young as fast as I
thought. Yeah. You know, we're going to be hearing about Bezos's new blood
treatment and shit and so on and so forth. Yeah, like 60 years and we're all
going to have to fucking put up with Musk's fucking stupid bullshit until he
blows up in orbit and the, the, the shallow maze and, and Zendaya's and, and
Holland's of the world will continue to be the, the, the young faces, but like it's
not going to be as much about them as it is going to be about like whatever else
Leo is doing, what's his latest movie and, or, you know, I don't know. Um, just
yeah, everyone that we've been watching for our entire lives going forward into
their gray, you know, so here's a fun, including idea. Have you noticed that, uh,
as time has gone on over our lifetimes, movie studios, let's use movie studios
have become increasingly desperate to monetize anything that the public
already knows. So sequels, remakes, remakes of sequels, sequels of remakes
of mental real estate is the highest value. That applies to people too. Yes. Why,
why, why would the paparazzo follow around this new star when they can just
hang out at Leonardo DiCaprio's house and watch the school bus pull up? Absolutely.
Absolutely. It's going to be there every day. And, you know, we've, and the, the
the torch passing has been going on for a while now with, you know, the, uh,
the, the, when the, when the kids have said people also go straight into stardom.
Um, you know, and sometimes it's certainly it's, it's well deserved, like, uh,
Colin Hanks, um, that is, uh, that is a generous use of the word deserved.
I didn't say Chet Hayes. God damn it. I said, I can't get them very big
celebrities should not be allowed to have more than one child. Okay. Well, anyways,
you clearly mix them up. No, Colin Hanks is great. He's really good at acting.
He's fantastic. Um, you know, earned his, his, his, his roles and, you know, and
then there's exactly, then there's the other cases out there. Um, yeah. Anyway,
um, sure. New, new phase for the queen. Die, queen. Wonderful. That's, that's
my, that's my stance on the topic. If anybody was unclear. Um, so I mean, I
mean, get better soon. So I suppose, uh, I should probably elaborate on a couple of
things and, and, and, uh, basically describe, uh, how a couple days ago, um, I
was, uh, in the middle of playing some SMT five. Yes, you were. Yes. And, uh, I
had recently acquired some cheez-its because, uh, and, and, you know, before
there's any, uh, snack judges out there, I realize, and I do agree that cheez-its
are not the best tasting snack. However, they are pretty, they were there.
They're keto friendly. They're, they're not as carby as, uh, because they're
mostly cheese. I mean, I'd have a cheese. Yeah. They're mostly cheese. Therefore,
they're not as carby as like a big, real chip, for example, of potato varieties.
So, uh, that's why I was eating some cheez-its, you know, and, uh, they, they're,
they're pretty tiny. And so I was holding a couple in my fingers and then, um, I
had, uh, I, I got a message from Min about something with the, the transfer of, uh,
the LPs and stuff. So I had to go grab the SD card with the micro SD card
specifically. Oh, the little tiny baby ones. Yes. Because recently I had to switch
to a different reader. The old reader broke. So now I'm using a micro SD. So
I'm holding the tiny, tiny ones exactly. So I have both of these in my hand and
I'm snacking and, um, and I'm walking over to change the SD and then, um, my
headphone, like, I think the battery starts to die. So, yeah, like I basically
I'm like, Oh, let me go over and just do that while I'm walking. And, uh, yeah,
as I'm walking over, it just, it, it, I'm holding them with the micro SD card,
but I'm looking at where the headphones are and I'm absent-minded and I raise the
SD card to my mouth and stop before I release the SD card. See your original
tweet was unclear because this could have gone three ways. Yes. And I was going
for this could have, this could have been this obviously, right? What actually
happened? You could have destroyed it with a bike and that's the end of it. Or
you could be like, well, I am the footage now as it floats around in your torso.
Yeah, no, micro SD cards in particular are just going down in one. And that would
have been, I would have, I would have eight at least two weeks or so worth a
footage. It's real easy. Um, but I did stop myself. However, the tweet I was
going for refusing to big, like describe situation refuses to explain, does not
elaborate. Yeah. So, um, I did in fact pump the brakes as it was at my mouth,
but like that observation was quite dangerous to which I realize, you know,
the cheese at size is about twice the size of a micro SD, but it's a little
too comparable. So I ask and I recommend you would have had to pass that if you
ate that's small enough to go all the way. Oh, no, I'm not trying to get that
back out. If that went down, I'm just that we're just riding with it.
Oh, you wouldn't try and induce vomiting to get it. No, that's done. It's too
small. Fuck it. Like, okay, if I ate the data, I ate the data. I feel as if, you
know, if it were like, if it were like the size of an act, a normal SD card, it
would be too annoying in my throat, you know, um, but micro, it's like, it's
half a chew. Like you, it's gone. You know, you can swallow that with water,
like a pill. I've literally swallowed larger pills. Yeah, I've, I've swallowed
some big pills. Yeah. So though you get to have that realization as it passes
through your throat and it hits like the tiny piece of like your palate or
something. And it's a completely hard plastic object. You know, uh, what? Yeah.
And I feel like wait a second, the body would not enjoy the plastics and metals.
But like, I don't imagine the amount would be like anything that would cause
major damage. You just have to know it would cause discomfort at the end. Yes.
And that would be it. At which point, if the footage then reappeared on, on
YouTube, you could all, you could all imagine how we got it.
No, I, I, Hey man, it happens. Everybody makes mistakes. Yes. Things like this
just happened and you, you dodged the mistake. I dodged the mistake. And I
think that's important. Um, because not everyone is as fortunate as to dodge the
mistake. It's not like you were doing laundry. No, almost knocked yourself on
the ass by just in huffing bleach.
Just huffing it. Like I understand the instincts of like, what's in here? But
the, the, there's very few things that can be in your house that you're not
supposed to sniff. And at the top of that list would be the bleach in, in the
laundry room. That's the top of the list. Yeah. Why, you know, the thing that's
poison, that's correct. Just a hard poison. Yeah. So, um, sometimes you just
got to figure out what's going on and what better way than to ingest it.
You know, like, what if you would eat in that micro SD card and then you could
tell what the footage was? Like, what if you were looking under the sink and
like, you're like, was this the rat poison or was this or the orange candy?
You know, and then you just like, just touch it to your tongue just to go like,
is that, which one, which one is that? You know, yeah. Oh, it's a good one.
Yeah. Anyways, so, um, word to the wise, don't get distracted by a third thing.
Don't get distracted when you're dealing with inedible objects of any kind.
That being said, I'm sure as we live in a world of SD cards, USBs and all kinds
of super tiny micro devices, like how many children have just gotten into a,
like the computer room and just shoved SD cards and swallowed a bunch of shit
that, you know, they then had to like, the parents have to fucking go get help.
Yeah. Well, I'm just thinking of like the pre-dating that like quite a bit was
when I was a child, my dad, like even a young child, my dad would very,
very strongly point out, do you see that blue shit that looks like Kool-Aid?
Don't drink that. You will fucking die because it will taste like Kool-Aid.
Don't drink it. It's antifreeze. You will die.
And then at some point in my growing up, they finally added bitterance to antifreeze
to cut down on the amount of pet and child fatalities.
Did it actually taste like, has a shit ton of glucose?
Yeah. Sugar? Yeah. Wow.
Yeah. It's very sugary. Okay.
Fuck. So like dogs and young children will eat like, like mouth holes.
Tons of it. Was it kept within reach?
Yeah. Cause antifreeze containers are heavy.
Yeah. Cause antifreeze containers are heavy.
They'd be at like the bottom of the, of like your garage.
Jesus. Okay.
And it would look like a big fucking jug of Kool-Aid.
Yeah. Of course.
Don't know what the fuck they were thinking with that.
I don't know why it took them like decades to add bitterance to it.
No. And you got to hide the color.
You got to put, you can't make it a big transparent juice bottle looking thing.
Yeah. With this, with a logo of like a polar bear on it.
See, Nintendo knew right away and decided to make the Switch games bitter.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
So that a bunch of idiots with YouTube channels would taste them and go,
EWITZGROZE!
Now, um, I can confidently say that probably one of the dumbest things I did when I was really young,
and I still remember doing it, is playing with my Lego.
And I took the Lego man and I thought it was interesting how I could put it in my mouth,
not swallow and lean my head back and have it go and like stop at the swallow point,
but not actually go down and then go like, ah, and now it's back out.
And I was like, oh, there must be some sort of like platform that it sits on
or something that like stops it, you know?
And I was like, huh, what is that?
And I was just, I just remember trying to visually think of like what my,
the inside of my throat looked like.
And I was like, there must be like a table or a flat thing
at the bottom, like right behind my, my, my throat in the esophagus.
How are you in this story?
Like six, five, you know, like that's too old.
For this story, I mean, I was definitely, I was definitely like,
I knew about the dangers of things, but yeah, no, no.
Five, six people are still fucking around and doing dumb things like, you know,
but I remember doing that just being like, huh, why doesn't it go down?
That's, that's curious.
And then, you know, obviously stop doing that.
And I also like dived in a pool by myself when no one was looking
like at like three or four or so, to which a brother had to like,
I mean, a lot of people did dive in and save me.
So, you know, uh, did a couple of when I, when I was three years old,
I dived in a pool when nobody was looking and by nobody was looking.
I mean, my neighbor Corey was looking and by nobody was looking except for Corey.
I mean, Corey pushed me into the pool and held me under Jesus Christ.
Cause Corey was an asshole.
Okay.
No, that's, uh, I was, I just thought I would jump in after everyone had gotten
out and had dried off and was like done with the pool for the day.
I wanted to go in.
So I just did and no one noticed, uh, for a bit, but they heard a splash.
And then like, yeah, my brother had to just run in and or step brother to
run in and dive in and pull me out and shit and be like, what are you doing, man?
Yeah.
Um, anyway, anyway, don't, uh, by the way, the end of that story is that we no
longer ever went to Corey's house.
Is that okay?
Was it his pool?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
Okay.
He was five.
All right.
The pushing in the pool stories that happened at my cousin's place, uh, came
to an abrupt end, I believe, I wasn't there, but I think they're cause
like just shoving people into pools was a thing you could do cause people didn't
have cell phones back then.
Right.
The last time I shoved somebody into a pool was about 12 years ago.
And the fun immediately soured when it was like my fucking phone.
God damn it.
Okay.
Then you did that.
Just, yeah, we pushed, we pushed, uh, you remember, Nick?
Yeah.
We pushed him into a pool and then he comes up and his glasses are all fucked
up and he goes and he just starts swearing at the top of his lungs in French
and pulls out his admittedly destroyed 12 years ago is way too recent, dude.
The pool push died.
You had to stop doing that.
At least 15 to 20 ago.
Uh, because yeah, that's exactly we were wasted to be fair.
Even before the cell phone age, like the possibility of a pager, you know, there
were a couple of things like that that could have, that could have happened.
Um, and at, and at the very least there, the transitional period of like stop it
guys, stop it, stop it.
Okay.
Okay.
Let me just hear, wait, let me just take my shit out first.
Right.
Just take my wallet and phone and phone or whatever.
Okay.
Fine.
Yeah.
Accepting it.
There was that period, but now, yeah, that's over.
But, um, over at my cousins where, uh, getting tossed in the pool, uh, was a
constant when I, we weren't there one time.
I heard that like that happened, um, after some time of like neglect or I don't
know what happened, but they, I guess they just didn't maintain the pool or did
it, they didn't do something they needed to and, uh, I know exactly what they
didn't do and the fucking walls of the pool just split apart and all that
chlorine water just raced out all over the lawn, all over, uh, Henry Barassa and
all over the neighbor's prized garden, of course, of course it did.
Of course it did.
And that soured, I mean, that used to be a friendly neighbor and that stopped
being a friendly neighbor above ground pool, right?
Yep.
Hey, I used to help my dad take care of the pool back at one of my, one of the
places I lived as a kid.
Hey, if those of you don't know, there's only two things you need to do to
maintain your pool outside of like putting it away for winter and draining
it and stuff like that.
One, check the pH every week and then dump the requisite amount of chlorine,
make sure your pool isn't poison.
Two, every time you're having fun in the pool, have an adult yell at you not
to kick off the sides to go really fast.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, because that's the structure.
Number two, yeah, is what caused your problem.
Okay.
Okay, that would explain it.
Yeah, we, everybody kicked the fuck off the sides, man.
Yeah, no, that every single time you do that, you make that the total pool just
a little bit weaker.
Oh boy.
And I guess they can't make them that much more sturdy.
Otherwise you can't set the things up, but anyway, above ground pools.
Yeah, that's a fucking liability.
Um, I mean, I don't, I don't think, like, I think it just hit the highway, but
I like, there's a lot of cars, there's like a highway nearby.
And I don't think any cars were touched, but like the main thing we heard
about was just like the neighbor behind losing his fucking mind.
And I don't know if like the charges were pressed, but I heard there was talk of it.
I don't know, man.
Pool water is like hyper talks.
Oh yeah.
Life, like that shit's done.
It's gone.
And I don't know about even replanting without a complete soil redo, you know.
Hey, shout out to the guy who says above ground pools are so trashy.
Sorry, I was poor asshole.
At the time it was above ground or nothing.
Like there's no one I knew had fucking in ground.
You know, that's, that's a, that's a modern, affordable convention.
The only people I knew that had an in ground pool in my entire life was the
family that I described my pal, Eric, who had the two brothers that were always
fighting and the dad who just hid in the garage looking like he was one step away
from suicide.
You may remember me describing that family.
Jesus.
They had an in ground pool.
Okay.
Yeah, it became more common later on, but like in the 90s, fucking everyone had an
above ground pool or nothing.
That was it.
Um, and yeah, everyone took a trip down to a club piece in.
Oh man, this is shit, man, piss in pool.
It's fine.
Walking around a pool store is cool.
It has a nice smell.
Smells like pools.
Oh, you like that?
I don't, I'm not.
Pool smell is an overtly clean smell.
Yeah, but it's, it's like the chlorine at a high intensity is chlorine.
Smells like clean.
It's just burning.
Yeah.
Okay.
Clean.
You'd like smelling salts.
Well, woolly, I grew up in a household in which one parent had OCD and the other
was a working man who would rinse paint off his hands by dipping them into the
fucking bucket of turpentine.
So then you like the janitor.
I was like, I was set up to adore hardcore cleaning products.
You like the janitor fumes that come off the school ground when he just.
I'll be really honest.
My favorite of the bad chemical smells is man, gasoline.
Wow.
Wow.
Gasoline fucking rules.
Pat.
I know not to huff it, but I'm just saying if I accidentally get a whiff.
That's, that's a smile.
Pat the gas huffer over up in shats.
Huff and gas with the boys and shats.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So not only did I not know to, sorry, not only did I know not to huff gas because
my parents correctly advised me not to do it.
I knew a kid who did occasionally huff gas.
And I did not want to be like Adam.
That's good.
That's, that's good.
The admin Greg would hang out and play with gasoline and styrofoam and try and
jury rig jury rig napalm and fuck around with spare shell casings.
Their uncles gave them.
Like the question is, is like, for, at least for me, I didn't exactly have
access to gas to begin with.
I like, I wasn't going to siphon it from the car.
They didn't keep spare gas containers lying around.
And I'm not going to the fucking gas station.
So like, I'm more like, where are you getting the gas from anyway?
Lawnmower.
Oh, yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, fair enough.
Jesus fucking best part about more on the lawn is getting, getting just a
little tertiary whiff of the forbidden scent.
Okay.
Well, I don't have any deep and then it mixes with fresh cut grass and you're
like, yeah, that's, that's a good, I don't, I don't have any deep affection for
chemical smells.
I don't know.
Maybe it's just me.
Uh, all right.
Did a couple of things this week.
Tell me about the couple of things that you did this week.
Um, and there's a lot, there's a, a lot of things to touch on.
So let's just roll pretty quickly.
Uh, yeah, let's roll it.
Uh, watch the first episode of arcane and it was very good.
How is it?
It was very good.
Yeah.
Um, yep, it was, it was, would you agree with me when I said that like, you'd
probably still watch it even if it was boring, just cause it looks so pretty.
Yes.
Um, what I found particularly impressive, which is, you know, uh, notable is the
infinite budget and the absolute lack of a, of, of a non-money frame anywhere in
the entire series.
Uh, yeah, the absolute ridiculous amount of money spent on every frame is what I
found to be pretty interesting.
You know, um, in particular, the scene and the first episode where the mentor is
talking to the shop keep, um, and then like the cops walk in is one where the
light on their faces and the detail of the animation of their lips and all those
little things, just from a 3d perspective is unbelievable, but it looks like a
freeze frame of the, all the artwork I've seen of League of Legends painted and
put into the game, every frame, a painting as, as, as they say, um, that not
only looks incredible, but matches the style of the artwork.
So infinite budget, shout outs to infinite budget.
It's pretty incredible.
Well, it's weird because like the, the design of like a lot of the characters
is different from the design in league and the design of these characters is
way better than their league designs like Echo Jinx, Caitlin, et cetera, have
like very variations on their original designs that are a hundred times better
than their current real designs.
So I'm, I assume every single character I see is a like prequel or pre timeline
version of a playable character later on.
I think the weirdest one by far was that I, I was like, yes, except excuse me, mom
and dad, I'm working, uh, except for the character of Jace, who is just some guy,
some scientist man.
And then I loaded up Runeterra and it was like new card, Jace from Arcane.
Okay.
And I was like, yeah, okay.
Because I'm just looking like there's so many playable characters in this shit
that like even the dumb like bum kid that like follows them and gets into the fight.
I'm like, even, I'm like, I bet you he's somebody.
I bet you everybody somebody.
Okay.
But yeah, so it's, it's definitely a very weird situation watching a hyper like,
I don't know, a far flung prequel in which you're like, guaranteed not to die.
Right.
Guaranteed not to die, et cetera.
Um, I got a couple episodes in and, uh, yeah, that quality kept going.
All I really have to say is that there's a character that fucking sucks, but you're
like, maybe they don't suck so bad.
Oh no, they, they, they suck hard.
They're the worst.
Good job on correctly demonstrating that through the narrative that they're totally
the worst.
Now, to those of you who are saying, Jace has been a champion for years, I hear you,
but he wasn't a card until a couple of weeks ago.
And as we all know, the card game is the main game.
Yes.
That everything else sprang from now, to be fair, despite the fact that like all the
marketing I've seen mentions that this is the world of Runeterra in art, when the show
starts up underneath it, it says League of Legends, right?
Yeah.
So they, they, at the end of the day, they back down and kind of went like, it's,
it's LOL, you know, no matter how much they want to talk about the, the Runeterra
universe.
Um, so that was, that was nice.
That was nice.
It was good that they, that they had the infinite budget.
Um, uh, the other thing, uh, that I very much enjoyed were the, uh, the breathy
female vocals that kick in, you know, imagine dragons kicking in.
That's that, that's all fine.
That was doing its thing.
Um, and then at some point there's definitely that, that vibe of the welcome to your life.
I mean, I also don't even remember that.
No, there was, there was at some point in the middle of the first episode, we do
that, the, the modern movie trailer thing, you know, um, where you just got to get,
you got to get, it's that same.
Anyway, it's like that.
It's that movie clip movies are all right or aren't all right.
Where everything has that same sounding like, like it's, uh, you know, um, post,
uh, um, Amy Winehouse, but not as good, light, vocally welcome to your life.
And then it fades into like, and then someone makes a quip and then someone
raises an eyebrow at the camera, you know.
Uh, anyway, there's a little bit of that, that music happening.
And I was like, ah, there it is.
You know, the whisper song, the whisper songs that happen in all the trailers these
days.
No, you haven't seen any of that.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Oh wow.
No idea what you're talking about.
Okay.
What are you talking about?
Okay.
So there's, uh, a trend that happens a lot.
And it's the, no, no, I know the trend.
I know, but what are you talking about in regards to the show?
There's a song in the middle of the first episode that's like that.
It's a whisper song.
Okay.
I did not realize.
All right.
I watched that like two weeks ago.
Okay.
So there's the Imagine Dragon song in the, in the intro.
And then there is halfway through when they hit the switch to go down to the
underworld for the first time.
Oh, right.
And as they're going down to the underworld for the first time and they're
looking and showing you all the underworld life, there's playing one, a
whisper song.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's all, you know, that thing.
Uh, welcome to the playground.
Yeah.
So, so anyway, that, that, that part is, it was funny.
Uh, but yeah, no, definitely.
I'm like, that's, that's some quality shit.
And, um, some of the, like, yeah, just con, conversationally, like some of the
best, like just close up lip syncing and facial expression stuff that, uh, I've
seen, I mean, I like a lot of facial expression stuff, you know, like the,
the Pixar movies have gotten, you know, um, praised for that.
And then at a certain point, the, like the overdoing it gets noticed.
Um, but, uh, I, I, but I think it's, it's, it, it comes through pretty well in
the, in, in a lot of moments here.
Um, that there's that, like, I think a moment in the beginning where like, uh,
Vi is telling one of her partners to shut up and kind of just does like a, like,
shut the fuck up kind of face.
And it's like, oh yeah, that's, that's good animation.
I appreciate that.
You know, so, um, anyway, gonna keep watching that.
It's probably the, and none of that I'm thinking about it.
It's probably the only thing I've ever watched on Netflix in which I got
annoyed by macro blocking, um, do streaming.
Like every now and then there'll be a scene transition with colors and you get
to see like a little bit of streaming artifact or something like that.
Oh, did you get it?
I didn't, I didn't have any of that.
Uh, the reason it's nothing, it's, it's, it's par for the course and I'm,
I'm on a above average Lee, big TV, but it, it, it specifically annoyed me
because it reminded me of when, uh, Blizzard would compress their fucking
CG animation.
The Warcraft three intro with the fucking bird.
And I'm like, with the Raven, it's like, I know that you rendered this at a
goddamn higher bit rate.
Watching that, I watched that a bunch of times because that thing in particular
was not only was, was the compression in full effect there, but, um, it was used
as a, an example of like how good 3d studio max is because they used that
to, to render it.
Um, and that bird, that Raven, uh, picking at the body and then the orcs
and out marching and all that shit.
Like, yeah, I know exactly the era and type of, uh, type of compression
you're talking about.
It used to happen.
Um, that was cool.
Uh, how far in are you?
I'm three episodes in and they, they were released in three episode chunks.
Okay.
So I guess I'm at the end of act one.
And it definitely feels like the end of the first act.
Stuff has happened.
I, I then like, I showed, uh, punch mom the designs for, uh, for
Jynx and Vi later on, and it's just like, whoa, what the fuck?
And it's just like, yeah.
So this is a dialed down, like pre-story, you know, like, like, uh, or so.
Cause like they certainly, like you can imagine them growing up and
becoming those characters, but like it also is like, it's still a video game.
So it's full of ridiculous over the top, like shit happening at the same time.
So yeah, they just, they, they, they go, they become like basically
like, uh, uh, Batman characters is the, you know, the way I described it.
I think the most like goofy version of that is that you have Echo who becomes
like very chrono punk looking in whatever design he ends up with later on, but
his child design is like absurdly simple.
He's got the bleached hair.
He's got a white shirt on.
That's pretty much it.
And so in order to get the requisite amount of design elements onto
his character, like cause Vi and powder keep their hair and their general
clothing look, they fucking have him fixing a clock and the fucking
scene that he appears in.
Oh, okay.
That's the guy with the, um, that little kid is the, the, the time dilation
dude with the blue sword.
And so they, oh, look, he's fixing a clock.
Ah, okay.
Ah, do you get it?
Yeah, I did.
He's going to be the time kid.
I didn't, I didn't, uh, I, but, uh, when you see a design like that, though,
and you're like, for sure, this is somebody.
So, yeah.
Um, so there's also the, you may.
Imagine the designs echoes are probably a really good example cause you
look at Echo and Caitlin.
If you look at their designs in league and then you look at what their
designs are either in this or in project L it's fucking night and day.
It's, it's, it's a, it's a dramatic upgrade.
And I can only wonder if the people who are actually making arcane made
the new design, which is way better than the shit riot came up with.
Oh, does he look different?
Are they just in the fighting game from, hmm, okay.
Yeah, he does.
I'm, I'm just, I'm Googling.
Yeah, I'm looking at it now.
Oh, okay.
Uh, the absolute, like the, the one that is like the, the wildest change is
Caitlin's stupid top hat shit.
It is like just the goddamn worst.
Oh, let me see, like, hold on.
Let me send this to you.
Like this is what the original Caitlin crap.
Uh, I don't know who that is.
She doesn't show up at the first.
Oh, you know, she, oh, she doesn't.
Does she?
No.
Uh, but that is like that character is supposed to be one of the cops that
you were seeing.
Okay.
And so every part of that design got thrown away and replaced with what is
now the cop uniform that you see.
Okay.
Uh, right.
So what, uh, yeah, why are you guys talking about spoilers?
Her card came out over a year ago or no, six, seven months ago.
Anyway, I, I didn't see.
Uh, or whatever.
Um, so arcane money go, uh, I watched, uh, the first episode of, uh, what
we do in the shadows and, um, I'm, I'm hearing a lot of good things about that.
It was pretty funny.
I'm glad that that is a series.
I just, I kind of want to know what happened to the original spinoff idea for,
uh, we are wolves, we apostrophe.
I didn't hear about that.
So what was that supposed to be?
So you remember the werewolves from what we do in the shadows?
Sure.
Okay.
Did you see the movie?
No.
Okay.
Well, then nevermind my experience with, uh, with what we do in the shadows is
exclusively other people telling me, uh, tons and tons of shit about what we do in
the shadows.
Gotcha.
Okay.
So me going, that sounds cool.
I'm not going to watch it.
You know, Flight of the Concords.
I've been told that that exists.
Okay.
All right.
By you.
Right.
Okay.
So because it's from New Zealand.
Yes.
Funny show, funny, funny stuff.
Uh, same creators make a vampire movie.
Then they make a vampire TV show that continues that.
Yeah.
No, this is the, this is the same thing we've gone through every single time you
talk about what we do in the shadows is a bunch of loser vampire nerds and then the
werewolves swear.
Yeah.
It was very, it was very funny because they're swear wolves or some shit.
Okay.
So, um, anyway, first episode of that was pretty funny, pretty good.
A lot of the same, uh, or similar beats is like what was funny about the, uh, the
movie.
And yeah, I hear that like it's going strong three seasons in.
Glad to hear that.
Uh, I'm, I'm for based on the first episode.
I'm, I feel like I'm pretty locked in.
I just, I was, I was in the mood for some easy dumb watching.
And, uh, so far it, it, it, it very funny.
It very.
Hey, I have a stupid question.
Is Flight of the Concords also a band?
Yes.
Okay.
That explains the confusion.
Tenacious D.
What about Tenacious D?
They're a band and they're all, but they're also like a funny, like stage show, goofy duo.
Right.
And they work on Flight of the Concords?
No, but I just mean it's similar to how there's the band for real and then there's
the show they put on.
Okay.
Or, um, Spinal Tap.
Wait, Spinal Tap was a real band.
They did really tour.
I thought it was a completely fake.
It was, but then they did a real tour.
Oh, like kiss.
Well, kiss is a real band.
Are they?
Yes.
Are you sure?
I'm totally sure.
Gene.
Have you seen them?
Gene Simmons is a real person.
He's who sets a real dumb shit.
Are you sure?
Are you sure Gene Simmons is a real person?
And his son totally drew a bleach comic.
It happened for real, real.
Yeah, that did happen.
Yeah.
And, and Paul Stanley and the cat man and the star man and the God of Lightning.
So what you're saying is that Brendan Small is to Flight of the Concords as
death clock is to Flight of the Concords.
100% metalocalypse as a awesome CD you can listen to.
And a funny TV show is exactly like this.
Yes.
But they have a silly little accent because they're from Kiwi Lane.
They sure are.
Although this show is not exactly that because it takes place on Staten Island.
So they're vampires.
Is that a real place or a fictional place?
Staten Island is a fictional place, fortunately.
Okay.
So we don't have to worry about it.
I'm glad we, I'm glad we could really nail that one down.
We, we, you know, God forbid it was real.
So that was good.
And then, yeah, just a couple of, a couple of quick things.
Just played some games, one going heavy on SMT five and I got to basically like
the end of, I guess, the second like arc or like area.
Like big dungeon open world.
Exactly.
And then I was like, oh, let's go check out that, that DLC stuff.
So yeah, I went and I grabbed the, the DLC pack and.
I just kind of quickly looked at like the different things I saw in this, like,
okay, there's a series of boss fights and then there's the, the full like
nocturne thing and I just, I just grabbed the whole thing and then started it up
and went in to try and see like where the new stuff would appear.
And fortunately, it was very easy to locate, you know, where all the new content was.
That door shows up standing in front of the first safe.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it was like, I was like, okay, like, what's, I booted the game.
I load back into my save and there's giant pillars of light going into the sky
and it's like, I guess that's where the new content is then.
And then also, I wasn't really, I guess I wasn't, I just wasn't paying attention,
but I noticed I was like, oh, it must be my lucky fucking day.
Holy shit.
Look at these Magatamas and Niggatamas floating around.
Yeah, the Mita, the Mita, let me go get my glory and my XP.
And it's like, yeah, no, that's part of the pack too.
And that's a thing you can turn on.
Oh, you bought the Cheetel Sea?
It was a part, like I just got everything.
And then it was like, oh, no, that's not what I wanted at all.
Because I'm like, and I took a second.
I'm like, wait, what?
Why? And then it's like, oh, it's an option.
And then you fucking, yeah, it's basically a like as much resources you want to negate
the difficulty, but then it's kind of like, why not?
Just put the easy difficulty on at that point.
Because you want to show everyone how big your gamertick is by beating it on hard mode.
Because no one can see the while still putting it on when you when you're putting
the video up of you beating it on the hardest difficulty.
Yeah, OK.
So anyway, that was I just I'm like, OK, well, fucking turn that shit off
because like, no, because whenever I get one, it'd be like, oh, fuck,
yeah, let's get this glory and let's do it.
So thankfully, thankfully, that is an option that that can be turned off.
But I was very confused initially by what was happening.
But I guess that's what I get for just grabbing all of it and not really
thinking too hard about it.
The the the stuff with the fiends is.
Wow, that whole video game session was a bunch of uncritical consumption
for you, wasn't it kind of was because on every level.
Because I honestly, I just kind of I remember you like, you know, you guys are like,
you know, yo, this stuff is the DLC is really good.
You should get it.
And I was just like, OK.
And then I was like, I know that I, you know, not knowing Nocturne,
I'm not going to recognize just about anything.
So I just grabbed that.
And then I wasn't sure if like the other boss fights are also related or not.
Or if they're specific to five.
And it seems like they're specific to five.
It seems like the fiend stuff is just anyway.
I saw people talking about fighting Demi fiend.
And apparently he's so over tuned that the only videos online of people
beating him are on like the easiest difficulty.
I think the game literally says like fight him on New Game Plus.
I think so, right?
So anyway, so yeah.
But I just like I'm like, whatever, they say the DLC is good.
Get it all and then load it up and throw it in there.
And yeah.
And then I just, you know, went around and gotten some of that.
And like, yeah, I can definitely see now there's a line between the pillars
that you go fight the fiends in and then the shit like Cleopatra's
just hanging out by this bus and let's fight her.
Oh God, she's level 75.
You're not ready, you know, so.
OK, bye, Cleo.
Yeah, so just more stuff to put on the back burner.
But the the the fiends, though, pretty cool, you know, I guess they're
I can I can guess the context of what's going on.
But I've I've beaten I think the first three or so.
Those are some dope.
And I was wondering, too, like, I'm like, yeah, where the hell is Hellbiker?
And, you know, like those cool demons.
He's deep in there.
It's like, oh, well, you know, there he is.
You have to you have to unlock him.
And that's why he wasn't a part of the the normal fusions.
That that stuff is dope.
And those are big glory rewards for beating them.
Oh, yeah. So that makes sense.
Yeah. So you beat them.
You get a fuck ton of glory.
And then it's like the scraping tools I was kind of putting together.
I'm like, do I want this or that or whatever?
It's like, OK, now I can finally start
kidding out my Nabohino to the way I want him to feel.
You mean that you're naho being a wait?
Nah, nah, I don't know.
I don't know.
I know I'll never get it right.
It's like Zendaya or Zedanya.
I'll never get it right.
It's naho, naho, you know, Nabo Bino.
No, naho, naho, Bino, right?
Nabo. Nabo Bino.
Nabo. Nabo, Bobob, Bino, the boba knobs.
This is a gobble.
My Nabonob.
I kid it out, my Nabonob, and now he's doing cool stuff.
Anyway.
Yeah, no.
You know, it's so weird, because we have dealt with so much Japanese language fucking
traces and words over our career and our media enjoyment over the decades.
And for whatever reason, this particular word trips me up like almost nothing else.
It's just, it's the company, it's bees.
B is just an awkward letter in a lot of cases, you know, and it's not like the cool
sounding letters or the S's and the Z's, you know, and then the B, B's just.
You'd have to be some kind of fucking loser idiot to have a B in your name.
Yeah.
Or a J.
I don't have a J.
Safe.
Safe on J.
Wait, do you have a J?
I certainly don't.
OK.
But like, you know, H, B, and J are awkward weirdo letters for sounds and S and Z are
cool. This has been established by hip hop forever now, you know.
So anyway, yeah, game goes hard, game goes fucking good.
And I really like how they don't like they there's no mincing like words about the
creation myth and like throwing it on its head.
They just straight up like it's not even like wait till like you're near the end of
the game to start hearing about our crazy Bible theory or whatever.
We're just throwing it at you and telling you straight up what happened and like what
the real version of all of this creation myth was, according to, you know, this world.
And like, yeah, it's absolutely just tossing it at you faster than you can hold
on to it. Super fun.
And that being said, some of the again, the concept for the areas and the designs
has a hard time keeping up with the limitations of the switch.
And I guess I encountered the worst one.
So you go to an area towards the end of the second zone that is a
complete color palette change.
So it goes into a like sort of cool foresty area and that's nice.
And you get a moment where you're looking around for a save point and you find
the first one and then you're playing.
And I literally could not find the second save because I ran past it like five
times because the blue of the fog of the area and the save blue glow are fucking
camouflaged inside each other.
Excellent.
And it's like the save points in SMT five are made to grab your attention
from super far away like an item in Dark Souls.
They're made to be these giant blue pillars of light.
But the draw distance and the struggle of the switch and the atmospheric
perspective and the fog and all the effects of the blue in that area made it
so that you couldn't fucking find it, you know, I think one of the one of the
things that is genuinely the most frustrating about the switch in general as
a platform is that developers pick a handheld resolution and whatnot.
And then they pick the TV resolution and you get into situations with this
game with Age of Calamity, with, you know, some of the other ones where you're
like, wow, this game runs like shit, but only when you play it on your television.
I never pulled it off and did it handheld.
So apparently it performs much better in handheld because they drop the resolution.
How does that make any sense?
Like I get you just said it, but like you would because it's on the TV, they're
going to kick it up to 900 or 1080, but on the handheld, they'll do the same exact
thing at 720. Yeah.
So, I mean, just based on the, obviously, the advertisements that plugging it in
gives you a better experience.
You'd think it would be the other way around.
Breath of the Wild runs better in handheld mode.
Crazy. That's a good example.
Crazy. Anyway, it's like, how about you just give me the option to run it at the
shitty looking res the fucking handheld mode has on my TV.
But the thing with this game that like keeps surprising me is how like they're
pushing it regardless in a very like, like from soft or
pseudo-esque way where they're like, no, we don't care that it's chugging.
Do more, make it fight more, right?
Because like that, that, you know, so like, yeah, some people, you know,
didn't have the same experience.
Yeah, we're all different, like, but like, you know, that was once that's a
that's one save that was just like weirdly camouflaged in.
But then you enter an area where a giant like battle with many, many
units attacking each other is happening.
And you're watching it in the cutscene and I'm just like, there's the game can't.
There's no way once gameplay starts, you can handle this.
Like, why are you pretending that you can?
You have you played Age of Calamity?
No, no.
Okay, so Age of Calamity, when you're playing it on the on the dock, right?
I loaded it up and burst out laughing because it loads you in the Hyrule field
with a bunch of fighting going on in the distance.
And like it does that thing where it loads in at like three frames where it
goes to load in and then it stabilizes at like 15.
And then then it's like, go play.
There's a big battle and it's it's it's it's unbelievable.
So yeah.
And in co-op, it's just it's it just splits it so into like as far down as
like six or seven.
So imagine like you walk into this area and you get like this crazy fucking
tons of shit going on, the battles popping off and everywhere you look,
it's it's supposed to be nuts.
And you know, the skies are just fucking blotted out.
And then the gameplay resumes and it is basically like when you're looking
up at the old one in Demon Souls and a bunch of stale floating birds
are just kind of like just grazing across the sky.
You're like, what?
Like, wait, what?
You know, and it's so much thinner.
And I'm like, there's like five or six little dots just statically
floating across the sky.
And you're like, why did you think to show off what you wanted this to be?
And then just switch over to this, you know, it's genuinely baffling when.
So when you have like, let's say Persona 5 came to the switch, right?
You could understand that maybe the framerate didn't hold up as well
because that's a PS4 game, right?
Mm hmm.
Or what have you?
It's it's super baffling to me when you have games that are completely
exclusive to a platform also just completely run like total garbage.
It tells a story of the developers, develop a process and their ambition
and then being kneecapped by the hardware and the dev kits.
And I bet you there's a vertical slice that's incredible.
And then they realized over the course of optimization that, uh-oh,
we can't go this hard, you know?
I mean, like, like, like they're doing the they're doing the, you know,
the baseline vertical stuff for SMT five.
And they're like, well, the tech guys say they can clean this area up
and get the framerate running about five, 10 higher.
And then development continues and it continues and continues.
And then the tech guys go, yeah, nope, can't do it.
This is what you got.
This is how it's going to run.
It's not. No, we we increased performance by about four percent.
That took us six months.
This is what you're going to get now.
Brutal, brutal.
But the but the but they don't compromise the the the art design
or the the the the vision of like their concept too late, you know,
all the shit already it's already made.
It kind of reminds me of when like a TV show like it doesn't have the budget
for a war battle scene, but it's it sets one up by having a bunch of people marching.
I think I think my favorite version of that ever, ever
is when I I had read the first book of Game of Thrones
and I was watching season one of Game of Thrones
and they're going to the battle and Tyrion's got his armor on and I'm like,
oh, man, this is going to have that scene where he head butts and kills a horse.
Oh, sick.
And then like the he he shows up and then it fades out.
And he's like, what happened?
You blacked out during the fight, it's over.
And I'm like, give me a fuck.
No, he gets knocked out if someone marching by him.
They hit him in the head and he fucking falls.
All right.
But like he wakes up.
It's like, what happened?
The battle's over. I missed it.
Go to hell. Yeah.
No, that's supposed to have like a World War One spike helmet
and a tall guy and his horse was supposed to talk shit.
And then he head butts the horse to death and then the horse falls on the guy.
So the coolest Tyrion moment I know of.
It's cut it.
Small comeuppance.
You know, I'm well aware of the realities of game development
and that obviously, obviously,
performance optimization can only come in at the last second
once everything's already there.
Yeah. Right.
But I feel like maybe
the people who are working on that end of, you know,
clean code or whatever.
Should be able to see ahead in time
and try and avoid building up too much
programming debt.
Or if anybody doesn't know what the term programming debt is,
it's very simple.
It's, hey, this level needs to work.
You can either do it right now and do a bunch of inefficient
bullshit that'll make it turn on, or you can take the time
to make a clean actual written piece of code
that will work properly and probably not cause any problems
for anybody down the line.
And if you need to just constantly
spaghetti your shit, technical debt, technical debt,
you get to the end of the process and somebody goes,
hey, how do we fix this?
And 10 guys go, I don't know.
Yeah, it'll take like a year.
The stuff that looks like, you know, hey, intern,
use the same assets we already have to make a brand new area.
Go.
I have a non game version from a friend of mine.
Who works in a like Silicon Valley technical sector
in which he was the guy sounding the alarm bell going,
we got to go back and fix this shit.
We're building on sandcastles here, guys.
We have to go back and fix this until it came the day
where they made a new build and put it into the hardware
and the hardware went no.
And refused to boot entirely.
And management is like, why won't it turn on?
And the answer came back.
It's like, there are so many compounding bugs
that we have fixed the symptoms of, but not the root causes
that the hardware we are trying to produce and build the software for
no longer works at all.
It will take us up to a year to fix this stuff.
And there's no we can't just fix the symptom
because we don't know what's causing it.
Hitch.jpeg, just you just that guy can now grab all those emails
and just a simple bump.
Going back as far as the warnings have been coming out,
you know, like, hey, tried to tell you didn't want to.
OK, here we are.
So you're I mean, when we're talking about like shows
that just like don't have the budget for it.
And you mentioned Game of Thrones, but the Game of Thrones went that way
because they learned how to do it from Rome.
Which came before them, which was, you know, you're telling the story
of fucking Caesar, you're going to have a couple of battles
you'd think depicted and they're like, no, we don't.
We don't have that kind of money and fuck you.
And they would just they wouldn't have a little like
Tyrion getting knocked out like device for you to avoid the battle.
They just showed the armies marching
and then they faded into the sky and then faded back down
to crows picking at the dead.
Oh, cool. And you're like, like, who would want who would want to see a battle?
The most deflating fucking way to just be like, yeah, sorry, guys.
We don't have it. We just don't have it.
You know, and that was already one of the most expensive.
It was HBO's most expensive show
prior to Game of Thrones starting, mind you.
It's it's interesting because there's a reason why
there's still the meme of like, can doom run on this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Do run on my calculator.
Can doom run on my home pregnancy test?
Yeah.
And the reason for that is because John Karmak is like a complete nightmare
prodigy and doom is optimized to the point of absurdity.
It's probably as well optimized as anything's ever going to get.
So it's just as SMT five goes on,
it's getting laughable because the performance issues
are getting more and more noticeable, but the the ambition of the game
is getting higher, you know, it's it's wild.
When sweet, you know, we complain about performance issues,
but we'll be real.
There's some genres that it doesn't matter.
SMT five is a turn based JRPG.
And the performance is so bad that it mad.
It's like it's like outside of a visual novel.
I don't think there's much genres that are safer from performance
complaints than the JRPG.
And it's so bad that it's like, God damn it.
And so you have it on a regular basis, doing all this shit we're talking about.
Right. So then you go fight one of the map bosses, which are these like areas
that are infected and like there's a big thing you run into and kill it.
And then it clears out the the muck.
Oh, the abscesses abscesses exactly.
And the moment you enter its sphere of influence, the sky turns red,
the screen goes, you know, all dark and crimsony.
And then it starts spawning like 10 times the amount of map enemies in
all tons and tons and they'll and they start running at you faster than normal.
So it's a perfect example of like on paper,
you've created the perfect scenario to take a machine that's already chugging.
And you just like you're like, multiply how many things it has to show you,
make them move faster and rush you down.
And you just watch the frame rate shit.
It just dumps ass in those moments bad because dodging those enemies
to get to just fighting the yes boss is totally vital.
Yes, you have because they they're going to keep coming at you.
But the game, the fucking console can't handle the fact that the game is asking
it to like it's I know you've been holding all this weight, but Atlas,
we're going to put another planet on top of you for the next five minutes.
You know, it's it's crazy that this is the design.
So God bless, you know, having having a great time, nonetheless.
Anyway, SMT five, good shit.
And then just a couple of quick looks we took over and get into fighting games.
I don't know if if you ever I know you've heard of,
but I don't know if you ever really thought about you ever thought about cyberbots,
full metal madness? When's the last time you thought about cyberbots?
OK, yeah, when's the last time you thought about Jin from Marvel vs. Capcom one
with the with the big Mecca that helps him fight?
No, all right. Well, well, do you remember that guy?
And then like yet exploding clothes six years ago.
When whenever we did the video on Marvel infinite.
OK.
And one of us said, I wish Jin was here from Marvel to
is the last time I thought about Jin.
Whatever, man. Yeah.
Well, it's cool because he's like that.
That's that's that's a character that shows up that is like,
here's the perfect example of how Capcom's amazing roster can just reach in
to a game you didn't play.
Can just reach in to a game you didn't play and pull out a dude you didn't know
about and make you go, oh, fuck, he's badass.
I want more of him. Yeah.
Marvel vs. Capcom one was the big like introduction of, yeah,
Jin, the guy whose clothing explodes and comes back onto his body
and he rubs himself with the towel and shit.
And then he does the blo dia punch and blo dia Vulcan.
And he's got like a mech that just is in the background,
ostensibly watching the battle and an occasionally jumping in to help him out.
So I'm like, let's go back to the source on that and play the game that came from.
And I kind of I put to I figured out why that game was always so weird
because I remember the first time I played it.
I was like, this is like a robot fighting game.
But like it feels so different from everything else.
Capcom was doing at the time.
And why is that?
And it's because it's a spin off of a beat them up
that they made called Armored Warriors, which is a three player game
that allows you and two other people to combine
and fucking form up like Voltron and do a combined robot fighting beat them up thing.
Really cool individual power up, boom, boom, punch, punch, kick, kick.
And so they basically just kind of went and made a fighting game
based on that already existing system they had in place, you know.
So we played that for a bit and it was it was fun.
It had some some limitations.
But that was also the game that introduced
not cyber Akuma, but zero Akuma.
The Akuma cyber Akuma, the Akuma robot,
you know, the giant Mac version of him was in that game.
And and then you're looking at some of the designs
that like Nishimura was doing at the time.
And there's like dudes that are just one hundred percent JoJo references.
There's there's like Jin's dad, who is literally a Kamen Rider.
Like right.
And you're just like, obviously, yeah.
And I'm just like, I miss the era of like when Capcom's artists
could just doodle in their sketchbooks and someone would come along and be like,
hey, you want to make this a game?
How much money you want?
Grab some of the boys over there.
Grab the team and let's just make a fucking game.
And they would just, unfortunately,
will a video games cost dollars now?
They sure do.
Um, but like it was it was nuts.
Back in those days when like some sketch doodles would just turn into a thing
and they would take a chance on it and like admittedly, you know,
there was a very different industry from it is now.
But it led to this like moment of like looking at it.
And it was like, OK, the release date on this thing said 1995.
And I was like, holy fucking shit, what was Capcom doing?
How much were they doing in 94, 95 and 96?
Like it feels like a lot.
Everything was happening.
It feels like they mean, well, it's it's it's just the reality of it, right?
You back in the day, you could pay a couple guys,
you know, a year's salary and they could bang out this thing
with all these cool designs and all this this rad shit.
And you take a risk on it.
Whereas now you have to pay, you know, a couple artists,
a few 3D modelers, you know, the the QA people for months and months
and months and you end up with fucking Luke.
I like Luke, so what a what a what a fucking whatever.
Wild ass, cool design.
I'm sure one of those cool artists had him just doodling in their sketchbook
like, I hope I can make a character as cool as no, you know what I think.
You know, oh, man, you know, I think Luke is I feel like it.
I'm just just totally a guess, but the new producer
that like the guys that are that are introducing the characters now
in the in the latest season, I feel like it's his aesthetic,
especially in the latest introduction, where he's like got a shaved head
and he looks kind of like he looks kind of like a, you know,
a bit of a street guy.
He looks like he might be a little more edge to put it a certain way.
And he's got, yeah, I mean, and then you see the Luke
concept art where he had a shaved head and you're and I'm like, oh,
I see similar energy here, you know, so I'm wondering if Luke's design
is coming from the new the new team in charge of Street Fighter.
Yeah, I'm sure the new producer came in and said Street Fighter has always
delved in the like various regional representations and like there's a little
cartoony and a little exaggerated.
So let's just make the most grounded, boring piece of shit we can to really
to really distance ourselves from that heritage and really show, hey, we're here
and we're new and we're going to show off just how boring we can make this character.
You're telling me he started off with a shaved head, the shit like the fuck
like a seventh gen fucking protagonist showing up with his boxing gloves,
his shaved head and his I'm Commander Shepherd.
Not my favorite deals, not the shepherd on the Citadel, not the shepherd shaved head.
The like the punk, the the specifically the Japanese punk
kind of shaved head where you can see the the growth a little bit more.
But oh, wow. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
But it was definitely how wild it was definitely not as good
as the final that they they they got going.
Hey, look, this guy could be the end of a Yakuza side quest character.
Wow. Absolutely. Could be. Excellent.
For sure. Love it.
So I'll tell you one thing as with Luke is I will definitely not only do I like it,
but I'll take it over Shun A any day.
I'll take it over the the the the Kof energy we got with the the fucking the pant leg and shit.
But where was I going with that?
Oh, yeah, no, before all of that, it was the era of just Capcom green lighting.
I disagree. That's cool.
It was it was the era of Capcom green lighting a fuck ton of projects.
And I feel as if like they. Oh, yeah, they do anything back then.
And and fucking and I'm like, how many teams did they have?
Because now it's resident evil team and or teams.
Monster Hunter, they're there and then miscellaneous other, including Street Fighter.
There are at least two.
There might be three resident evil teams and they're huge.
OK. The Monster Hunter team is one team.
Is it? Yeah. OK.
DMC is a team now or was it sooner?
The it's sooner gang. Yeah. Yeah.
I guess we're going to call whatever they're up to.
That's true. The devil may cry.
You know, what what could they be up to?
But like but like back in the the days of like, you know, like again, these 94, 95, 96 specifically.
And I just I was like, let's go fucking digging for a bit,
because I also wanted to get some lore behind Cyberbots as well.
Because I'm like, who are these bad asses?
Some of these characters are so cool and I want to know more about them,
including this guy that his name Santana has long hair, looks dope.
And when you see his full character, man, that's that's really Santana.
Wow, they just think of his shit all his name is Santana.
He has long hair. OK.
And his pose is him pointing down at the ground, practically going, yes, I am.
You know, all right.
That's fine.
But you're like, fuck it. It's cool. We'll take it.
Um, so like, yeah, I went to the Capcom wiki and just like, I'm like,
let's let's take a look at what they were doing and how much
how many teams they could have possibly had developing.
By the way, here's a little picture of Cyberbots Santana.
I think I think the most defining aspect of Capcom in that period
was they had so much shit going on that they ended up making final fight
like by accident. Yeah.
Without intending to they did the final fight is a a straight up game
that is a 100 percent mistake that got all the way to final product.
Go make that street fighting game again.
Yes, street fighting and then from prototype to finished
with characters fighting on the streets.
And they're like, no, we met that other one, you know,
street fighter and they're like, oh, yeah, OK, fuck it.
And I guess and the thing is, too, is the era of arcade machines
also meant like you never know what's going to hit.
So let's just, you know, throw shit out there, see what sticks to the wall.
But like 94 was when they had like AVP, which is a really good beat them up.
Both Saturday night, Saturday Night Slam Masters and Ring of Destruction,
the sequel like same year and Darkstalkers and Children of the Atom
in the span of 12 months, not to mention Mega Man X and X2 games come in there.
Are they in that era? I feel like they are. Which?
The Shadows of Mistara and Tower of Doom.
So that's the next year, right? OK.
Oh, yeah, one full year.
So then you get into a fucking
Oh, no, wait, no, wait, was it night? Was it the night?
No, I think it was 96. Sorry. Yeah. OK.
No, 95. Cyberbots comes out.
Night Warriors, Final Fight 3, Alpha Street Fighter 2, the movie, the game.
Oh, good. Excellent.
Marvel superheroes and the power battle and then X3 and then Mega Man 7.
And you're just like just fucking throwing it all out there, right?
Like each of these things happening in the span of 12 months.
I think like this, this is obviously something that's happened industry wide.
And I feel like there is no greater poster child for this this phenomenon than Final Fantasy.
Final Fantasy is the chart of how willing is the publisher
willing to bankroll a new one of these and what does it have to do
and what does it have to perform? Yeah, because you go from Final Fantasy games
every 15 months to every 18 months to every two years up until like 2005.
And then all of a sudden, five years, right, right, seven years.
It's the that is the tale of the industry.
You can follow it for sure.
Because like, yeah, and then because you go into 96, then you get shadow over
Mistara and then you get RE1 and then you get Red Earth and then you get Star
Gladiator and then you get Street Fighter EX, you know, and then Marvel
superheroes and X and X men versus Street Fighter, right?
Yeah, it's almost like they put out like eight to 10 games over two year period
because one of them will be a hit.
But like the and the idea of like all it's not just like the sequels,
but it's also like the brand new tech because Red Earth getting introduced
a year later means CPS three, which means Street Fighter three.
Yeah, like was, you know what I mean?
Like they were working on that shit 12 months later, as well as playing around
with 3D, getting into the EX game, getting into Star Gladiator and so on.
Unbelievable, ridiculous time with development and these turnarounds.
So on the one hand, you look and you take a game like
and you take the 14 months that Kotor two had and for the type of game
and the size of game they were asked to make and you go like, that's fucking insane.
But then you also kind of come back to all these like this era of Capcom
and just like, I what kind, what did it look like in the studio?
You know, I wish there was like a documentary or just footage probably hectic.
Insane, insane.
And these are all really good games, too.
Um, reminds me, it reminds me of my favorite story in what it was and what
it used to be like getting a game green light in the PlayStation one era.
Compared to now, compared to now, you need your GDD, you need your, your full
documentation, you need your, your prep, you need your, your plans for your
monetization, you need all this shit, right?
My favorite story ever is that Sony says we are looking for people to head
up a completely new project.
We want it, we're just throwing it out there and this is in like 95 or 96.
What is your pitch for the game that you want to make?
And it was like company-wide on the Japanese branch.
It was like anybody who worked in game devs could come up and, and, and apply for it.
And the winner, and I forget their name, apologies, but they, they're, they've
been developing for decades now, but I don't really play their games, uh, was
the person whose entire pitch was, I want to drive my car on my television.
And then went, okay, here's the money.
What do you want to call it?
And he says Gran Turismo and that's how Gran Turismo and that's it.
It's a single line pitch.
I want to drive my car on my television and then went, okay, fuck it, go for it.
Fent, unbelievable.
Um, yeah, yeah, uh, it's, it's an era that, you know, it'll never really happen
again, but these were small to mid-sized games coming out, you know, that, uh, I
miss, uh, well, now it's an indie.
And now Gran Turismo is so big.
I don't know when the last one came out or is coming out when I don't know they
take like 10 years to make now.
Yeah, I feel like that was the era of like Nintendo hire this man, except like
the person who's saying that is like the higher upset Nintendo to the guy who walks
in and goes, yeah, I don't know.
What if we made the zapper again, but you put it on your shoulder like a bazooka
this time, yeah, Nintendo had a variation of that, which is like we have like maybe
a hundred to 200 employees that are between 20 and 25 who are going to fucking
quit if all they have to look forward to for their entire career is to make assets
for Zelda games.
Do you guys want to make a shooter octopuses?
Yeah.
Okay, whatever.
Fuck it.
You do whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Anyway, just wild era of Capcom.
So we played that this week and took a look at cyberbots full metal madness.
Fun game, fun game.
Don't it's not a game.
I would say I want it to come back.
I do want to see the characters brought back in any way, shape or form, including
Capcom versus Capcom as a hypothetical.
But yeah, that was great.
I, man, I bet if I could get a hold of somebody at current Capcom and be like,
dude, just do Capcom versus Capcom, they're going to just look at you dead in the eye
and go like the reason why people buy that is because this is Marvel on it.
We've done the research.
If it doesn't say Marvel on it, it would not.
Which is more depressing, that answer or the answer of we did internally three
times and canceled it?
Oh, oh, yeah, that answer.
Wow, what a fantasy that answer would be that that that that would be really depressing.
That one would be way worse.
I mean, shit, you can go take a look at the footage of Capcom fighting all stars
before fighting jam.
You know, and then evolution, which is yeah, Alex kept this code on the came out.
Oh, God, normal unhyper strider.
That's weird.
That's genuinely really bizarre.
Well, it's like, what if we wanted to put strides, you know, Zeku's and like,
what if we just wanted to put strider into the into the world?
And, you know, like, you got to I got to admit that the fact that they're like,
hey, guys, we're not going to give Final Fight a new game because we don't think
any of you will buy it, but it will live on.
Aggressively in the Street Fighter universe part of street.
Yeah, and I'm like, yeah, I'll take that.
I'm down with that, you know, you know, talking about all these characters.
It just makes me think that, like, I'm really excited for the next Street Fighter
character. He's going to be named Joey.
Yeah. And he's just going to be six foot tall, shaved head, white guy from Long Island.
From from and Joey, yeah, he'll be wearing like a north face.
Yeah, he'll be wearing like a north face jacket and that's pretty much it.
And he's going to be Luke's rival and there's he's going to be like,
I don't like you, Luke.
And he's like, I can't believe you took my Gabagool, Joey, and it'll be,
it'll be a pink jacket, too.
No, that's too interesting.
And then, you know, everyone would be like, we see what you did there.
He's he's Long Island Joey.
I like, OK, I before we move off of this, I do.
There is one thing I actually want to say about Luke that is not like a shit post.
I hate Luke's design a lot, but obviously, and in he, you said that he's
like the future of what SF six is going to be about.
He's the new protagonist. Right.
I genuinely think that if he is the guy that looks like that as the staple normal
normie, I guess that's fine.
But if if Luke ends up being like the the the the the the canvas for
what SF six is painted on in terms of visual design and like you have a cast
of eight to twelve normal humans, that that will be a fucking disaster.
Yeah, I don't know.
Well, we'll just have to see what direction they go in.
I mean, if the last season is not an indicator of what we're getting,
if it's really just on him, then who the fuck knows more?
Like, honestly, all of that stuff, aesthetically, I am less concerned about
as as much as I want to know what design and like, I guess, release
and like plans do you have to make Street Fighter huge?
You know, like, would you consider
a free to play like just route that, you know, and that could get a lot
of people on board that were like, eh, I'm interested.
But I don't know, really, you know, already have the free to play structure
for Street Fighter existing right now with the amount of costumes
that they sell and the cost of those costumes.
Literally, all they have to do is just hit the switch, the base game,
not cost any money.
That's literally the only change they would have to make.
And I guess fight money would change as well, right?
Like, because you earn as you plan to buy costumes and cosmetics.
So yeah, hit the switch, make the game free, sell the cosmetic, you know.
But like, that's what I'm way more interested in that part of it.
I really every single time a costume comes out.
Chun-Li gets another costume one to one, one to one.
I mean, hell, there's a lead character that that is just the case as
well. I mean, at that point, Ari, that's it.
You know, like, like at that point, you just, you release a costume for everybody,
but Chun-Li specifically gets a dress up mode.
And it's only for her.
You can customize her clothing and everyone else you leave alone.
They're stuck in there with, with what you get, you know.
That'd be incredible.
I want my Chunners to have the police uniform, but to have the, uh, the long
down here from her Street Fighter 2 ending.
Mm-hmm.
Um, so then, uh, yeah.
Anyway, Capcom, that was, that was free.
Have fun.
Do you like Capcom?
Is, is the, the, the name of this podcast segment.
Well, he likes Capcom.
Hey, Cyberbots is cool.
Jin's cool.
Those days are gone.
Here comes Luke.
I don't mind Luke either.
We'll, we'll, we'll, we'll, we'll investigate cause he's out.
So we'll check that out, uh, a little later.
You know what?
I will say one thing in the defense of Luke, but not in the defense of the
developers, um, I saw the Luke trailer and again, you have a situation where the
default costume is not the best costume.
Like him wearing the hoodie is like a hundred times better.
I don't know why that's not his default.
So the other thing that's, that's happening in the game too is everyone has
a track suit outfit, which is like, look, if you just want to dress him down in
some sportswear, you can just go to the track suit outfit too.
And that's a universal thing that every single character has.
Um, and I'm like, you know, I, I kind of dig it.
I like the track suit, uh, for a lot of characters when, when you're just like,
yeah, fuck some of these costumes.
I don't like them.
You can just, you can always go that route.
Um, anyways, uh, last little thing.
I just wanted to point out and shout out, uh, shout out to, uh, Jetset Radio
Festival took a look at this inside of VR chat.
There is a recreation of Jetset Radio.
Oh yeah.
You mentioned this.
Um, so, uh, we basically booted it up and I loaded in my woolly Vtuber avatar
and skated around in the world of Jetset Radio.
And then we played sounds of Tokyo to future to mellows new album, which is
fucking fire and just had a blast appreciating the world of Jetset.
Uh, and as, as much love as there is to, you know, the original soundtrack
and good old DJ skank funk, I feel like, uh, yeah, no, if you haven't heard
the new two mellow album, it's, it's unbelievable.
And, uh, that was just a fun celebration of those games.
And of course, if you're going to enjoy and celebrate Jetset Radio and
chat, it's the lack of those, the creator of that world in VR chat, which
you can go and play with like, you know, however many people you can fit
inside of VR chat room, you can all skate and grind in the, uh, Shibuya
terminal at the same time.
It's incredible.
And it just leaves you with this feeling of like, why can't we?
All right, Sega.
Okay.
Hey, when's bomb rush cyber funk coming out soon?
Thanks team reptile.
You know, and like you're like, well, that's Jetset Radio future.
Please look forward to a completely new franchise by a completely
different team who said, fuck it, we'll do it ourselves.
The love for Jetset Radio has always been fascinating to me because
like the style and the music is what everybody talks about and remembers.
But I've watched footage of it.
It, it's definitely more than the sum of its parts.
It seems.
Oh yeah.
No, the, the, the skating is like, the
skating is jank.
Like it does not seem like a game I actually want to play.
And until they added the camera control in the, when they ported it, uh, the
original, it was rough with some of the like positioning of your cameras and
shit like that.
It doesn't feel as smooth as like a Tony Hawk game would that comes later on.
Um, no, no, if the gameplay of Jetset Radio is pretty jank a lot of the time.
Um, but it's, it's just so charming and, and, and unique at the time, especially
that you just love it, you know, but more than the sum of its parts is totally
accurate.
I 100% concur with that.
I feel like, um, I'd like, if it had, I feel like it would almost have been
better served by just like an album with a couple of music videos.
Well, no, it would have been better served with a third game somewhere
down the line to like improve all of that, you know, because like the things
that like we get used to now that we're used to now, like just proper camera
control and you know, like a responsive feeling, like ability to rotate and like
get the camera locked onto certain directions would do wonders for this
style of game.
And, uh, as, as it feels good in Tony Hawk, but like at the time they were just
going with old school set angles for some cases.
Some in some screens, they need you to be fixed angle, like a old RE games, you
know, tank control style things.
Um, and, and that leads to like the controls getting really weird and tricky.
So a modern game would have just fixed a lot of it, you know, but anyway, bomb
rush cyberfunk, please look forward in the meantime, as I sip my water from my
jet set radio, fucking sippy.
And no worries.
Anyways, um, check that out.
Yeah, that's going to be dropping on Willy versus over on YouTube real soon on
the channel and, uh, we're going to continue, of course, Del Capone and
Dark Souls this week, uh, not to mention on Saturday, we're going to take a look
at Luke since he's now out.
Um, I played darkest dungeon on the channel as well.
We got a spot.
We got those coming out, uh, just a show off of like some of the new systems
and two and like what my team, um, configuration is.
So, uh, quick, quick look at darkest dungeon two coming to Willy versus as well.
And, uh, there's a fun short game I want to do, but I don't know if next week
is the time for it.
Uh, but, um, I will announce that I'm, I know I'm an idiot, never mind.
Scratch that.
I talked about checking out Luke and that would make sense next Saturday,
except it doesn't because that's my birthday.
And we're going to, so I'm going to do a birthday stream.
Oh, you, you don't want to have Luke.
I'm not going to do Luke on my birthday.
No, no, I won't.
What I am going to do on my birthday stream is I'm going to play, uh, the hot
new release, uh, get into kiting games from Remerai, who just put out a kite.
Wholesome adventure.
And, um, it, it seems just like, like I was basically, I was like, holy fuck.
And, uh, and, uh, punch bomb was like, you should play that on your birthday.
And I was like, yeah, let's do that.
So next Saturday, actually birthday stream, and we're going to play the kite game
and some other stuff.
We're going to have some fun.
I don't know.
I'll figure it out.
We'll do whatever.
Come hang out.
Yeah, that's me.
All right.
Now it's my turn to talk about stuff.
Okay.
Hey, I'm Pat, everyone.
So to everyone who's been complaining that I haven't been talking about this,
now that I've beaten it, I'm going to talk about it.
I played unmetal.
Have you seen this ever, Willie?
Even a single screenshot.
I can't say I have.
Let's go ahead and look that up while I'm talking because it will help the visual.
Unmetal is a Metal Gear one tribute game.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's that's with that.
Yeah, I see it with a bunch of voice acting and a humorous tone.
Like it's very jokey.
It's takes place as your main character, Jesse Fox is being interrogated
and telling the story of how he ended up piloting a helicopter across state lines.
Essentially, at least the same sprites as Metal Gear Solid.
No, no, Metal Gear one.
It is absolute.
Okay.
It is completely unique.
Um, it it's a lot of fun.
It plays really well.
It is absolutely like a full size Metal Gear adventure type thing with,
uh, you know, just the progression and the way you get items and stuff like that.
It plays really well.
It's really funny.
Like it's genuinely really funny and it's kind of fantastic.
Like I can't it's like to anybody that has any love in their heart for those
old types of games.
It's really great.
Available now for your PS Vita.
Yep.
It was originally a Vita game way back in the day.
Jesus Christ.
And then it has taken many journeys to come to, you know, real platforms.
Okay.
And it's great.
It's just great.
And it, and it's a, it seems, yeah, the screenshots look goofy.
He's getting slapped and he's fighting someone called grenade guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a really good case.
Like genuine pistachio, I don't have anything more detailed to say other
than it's really funny and it's really great.
Okay.
Uh, all right.
Moving on.
Uh, I was invited by one Mia bite to play some back for blood, uh, PVP, which we
had, you know, we'd all dabbled in the co-op of it, but hadn't done the PVP.
So me, Mia, shy, Clems, plague, blaze page.
Is that seven?
Who am I forgetting?
And Roz all hopped in and played, uh, a couple of rounds of back for blood
multiplayer, 4v4, the, the PVP.
Yeah, the 4v4, um, start of that was about a half hour period of struggling to
figure out how to actually get into the same lobby, like genuine confusion.
The obvious comparison is left for dead or left for dead too, in which you just
invite your friends to the lobby and it sets up eight people in the lobby.
What you have to do, uh, in back for blood is you have to make two teams of four.
Then you have to make a private server and send the private server code to the
other team so they can match make with the private server code and then it will
just kick you into an active game.
So you can't play by like publicly giving a thing to people and then letting them
just, no, it's, it's, it's a process.
Jesus.
And on top of that, it means that, uh, and also at the end of, uh, your three rounds,
uh, it kicks you back out to the four person lobby and you have to do the, the
private server thing again.
Oh my God.
Um, and on top of that, it sucks.
Huh.
Uh, they couldn't, they could not figure out a way to balance their much longer
levels with that, the old style left for dead kind of multiplayer.
So they give you big map levels that, uh, are just like a horde mode, but players
control four of the enemy zombies and it sucks.
Oh, you're not for humans versus for humans.
It, no, it's for, it's for humans versus for infected, but it's on like a
survival map instead of like you going through a campaign level while they try
and get you.
That would be too big though, wouldn't it?
What's that?
Wouldn't that be too big?
With the what?
The, the horde level or the campaign level?
Yeah, the campaign one would be way too big.
The, the campaign levels in, uh, back for blood are huge compared to left for dead.
Um, and it sucks.
It fucking sucks ass.
And so we're sitting there and we're just like, uh, and we're about to do the
party shit to load up.
And despite plague of my internet is bad gripes being part of the party, the
suggestion comes out and goes, do you guys just want to download left for dead?
And so we downloaded left for dead too.
And about an hour later, we played like three full campaigns of left for dead
twos multiplayer, which is still just as good as the day came out and had a blast.
Damn.
And was, I was just left with like, man, I liked back for blood when it came out.
I had some fun with the campaign, but going back to left for dead is like back
for blood is an invalidated game.
It is totally the left for dead is to is literally better and more content rich
and more fun to play and better set up and runs on anything and looks better visually.
Then back for blood.
It is invalid.
Like the game doesn't need to exist.
The spiritual successor can't be fucking inferior, man.
Damn, it's, it's not that it's like a terrible game, right back for blood.
When I played it, I had some fun when I streamed it.
It's not that it's a terrible game is that it is about one or two points out of
10 worse than the old game in every department.
There is nothing about back for blood that I find better than left for dead to in any way.
Even the fucking graphics, like there's no point to it and it's made by the same people.
But is it that they had less budget because it's them self-publishing this time?
So, no, huh, then why?
And how many years apart are those games many left for that was a fucking while ago.
Ten years.
Weird.
Yeah, it's just like, yeah, it's a bummer.
It's a, it's a total bummer.
Sucks for them.
Like, and also left for dead to cost like 90 cents now.
Like, I don't know anyone who doesn't own left for dead to.
In fact, I'm pretty sure despite you not being a shooter guy, if you looked on your steam library,
you would have left for dead to I had left for dead one on 360.
I might have to on a console.
I don't think I bought it on PC.
OK, they gave it away for free a couple of times.
OK, thanks.
So like what?
Yeah, well, because I don't know the story in person to the person who says that the
graphics part is a straight up lie unless they used mods.
No, when I say that the graphics are better in the older game compared to the new game,
let me be clear, I find the old game to be much more visually appealing and clearer to
read in a gameplay sense than the new game.
The new game does in fact have more polygons and textures are higher quality,
but left for dead to looks better, is clearer to play, has better art.
It's cleaner.
It runs better.
The areas are more interesting.
It is a more appealing visual for my eyes.
So, um, is there a story behind like Turtle Rock, like leaving,
start not working with Valve and working with WB or to my to my knowledge,
there is no official one.
So instead, you can just go on.
They probably got frustrated that Valve doesn't want to make video games anymore.
Which is the story you hear out of pretty much everybody who stops working for Valve.
Okay.
Cause, you know, it's just, yeah, like, I guess I'm just like, what, what would be the reason?
Wait, are you serious?
I got somebody in the saying that they made a new Steam account during the course of this
conversation and TF2 and L left for dead to are in your library by default.
Oh, well, then I guess I do have Uno.
If that, if that's the truth, then man, back for blood is double pointless.
Like, come on.
So moving off from that, uh, what a bummer.
I also, uh, I also played more Halo of note.
I only want to make that, um, the events that they're having that they touted,
Hey, we're going to have it, uh, you know, a free event to get cool armor is, I think Forbes put
out an article that says Halo Infinite might be running the worst live event of all time right now.
And what's that?
It's called Fracture Tenri.
It's basically, uh, it's a game mode called Fiesta, which is just team death match, but weapons
are randomized, which is a fun mode.
That's a fun mode in pretty much every first person shooter, right?
The issue of which is that they, they showed off the trailer where they go, look, you can
earn this samurai armor and then they show off all these cool armor things.
And then, well, the way you get that is not by playing in the event.
The way you get that is by doing event challenges alongside the existing terrible event challenge
system that they're using for the rest of the battle pass.
So nobody's playing to win and the, oh, oh, get ready.
There's way more.
The event challenges, there's going to be six weeks in which this event runs from now until
like the end of March.
You can, there's only seven challenges per week and there's 30 levels on the event pass.
So you have to play and max out these events for five of those six weeks over the next
six months in order to get to the end of it.
And also, yes, it's true.
You can get the armor.
However, every color for that armor is only obtainable in the shop for like eight to
$10 and all the stuff they show in the event trailer is actually just stuff you would have
to buy off the store.
And so the stuff that you would get out of the actual event is garbage.
And the way that they've, they've made the timing on it, stupid little details like one
shoulder pad is earned over one month apart from the same shoulder pad on the other arm.
Like it's, it's the worst, but that's not even the end of it.
That's not even the end of it because the way that the Halo Infinite challenges work is
you have four that are active and then you have a bunch in reserve.
And when you do your, one of your actives, you get the reward and then it puts one of
your reserve ones in.
People were starting up the, the fracture event immediately doing the fracture challenge
and getting, oh, I got level one in the, in the event pass, right?
And then a generic challenge loads in and you go, wait, do I have to do four or five of
this weekly's generic challenges before it lets me attempt the event challenge?
Cause you have to clear them out.
Yes.
Oh my.
Yes.
You have to clear them out.
So people are running in the situation where they do one of the event things and then they
have remaining generic ones, like get 10 kills with this weapon, get 15, get 10, get
three wins in this game mode that you can't pick and so on and so forth.
And they go, I, it's going to take me like days to clear out these ones, let alone get
to the event ones.
Yeah.
So I feel like Halo is going to be a case study for game design and fucking up incentives
because I was having a conversation with punch mom about this, about how like it's so
interesting how you can make a game and put all the pieces and have everything there and
just fuck up something as simple as intrinsic and extrinsic value towards rewards and the
motivation to do them that'll break the entire game if more than half of the people playing
in multiplayer just refuse to play because they have no choice or because it's not rewarding
enough.
The other thing is, is a baffling you go back to 343 has a bad habit of promising explicit
specific things and interviews like those video documentary kind of things and they're
like their number one gameplay design for the free multiplayer is no FOMO.
Yeah, yeah.
And everyone's like, you created the one free event, which means that people.
So by the way, this week in the States is Thanksgiving and it created a situation in
which people were having fucking Thanksgiving dinner with their fucking family going, God
damn it, I have to actually consider when I fucking play Halo this week alone so that
in fucking March, I can get the final items.
What I like, I think like, I'm thinking like, again, like the stuff that you would teach
in classes about what not to do.
I feel like the For Honor loot progression system was like top of the list with how trash
that was.
And wasn't there something about Fallout 76 with like garbage legendary things on Fallout
76 or something like you just get a garbage loot system or something like that of just
like why bother playing?
What's the incentive to even play?
It's fascinating because like it's the thing that I said last week where I was like it
would be a better game if like literally no cosmetics of any kind whatsoever and you're
forced in red versus blue.
That got way worse this week.
Like everyone was complaining and like, well, at least the event will be free and the event
is like extra worse and is like the amount of the amount of games that you're playing.
I had a guy drop the oddball at 98 and just leave it on the ground to try and go get some
more kills because the final challenge to get the final thing this week for this event
is you have to get five killing sprees, which are five kills without dying.
What a great reason to not play the objective.
Um, didn't cheaters also start cheating as well?
Yes, of course they are.
Oh, man, like there's always the incentive to cheat because people don't like to lose.
But here there's another incentive to cheat, which is I want to get that thing.
The weekly ultimate visual reward is only available if you do every week's all the
challenges so people are likely coming in with aimbots with fucking weapons they don't
like to go like got to get 15 Ravager kills.
This is incredible.
It's like because and it's funny because like once upon a time challenges are for framed
as like extra things to do while enjoying the game, you know, and now it's it just seems
to be the primary thing and everyone's fucking hates it and doesn't want to play by default.
And then you load into a match and you find that there is one type of player that is absolutely
always playing to win and there's no problem and they're great.
And it's the people who already have the flaming shoulders on their Spartan because they paid
for 95 level ups at $2 each to just max out the battle pass the first day it came out.
And I'm like, well, that's why yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm seeing here that the Fracture 10 Rai event ends on Tuesday and ends in a couple hours.
Hope you got it.
And then it's gone till January.
Yeah. And if you didn't play this week, you will have to max out every other week.
It's ever available to get all the rewards in the free thing, which doesn't include a single color.
Not even red or blue red and blue were on the store this week for $10 each.
So I think it's safe to say that like, like, we can just go back to the old battle pass systems of not
lasting forever and actually giving you things.
Well, the funniest thing is that the fortnight fortnight like prior invented and popularized
the battle pass system, it's still the best one by a huge margin.
The best part, the best idea that fortnight ever did to their battle pass was that if you
finish the battle pass, it gives you enough cash to just buy the next battle pass.
Right, right, right.
So people who play fortnight like a hobby game, you can keep up pay for the first battle pass
once back in the day.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, that's fair.
And that's a better implementation.
If you're trying to, if the idea is supposed to be no FOMO, let's let it last forever for people
that want to play, then yeah, if you play enough, then you can just refresh it, right, as
opposed to I got to say one and it gives you nothing.
You could solve this in like three things like genuinely one, have every default color
available, have fancy colors for sale, fine, whatever, have every default color available for
everything, red, blue, green, orange, etc.
Right.
Number two, just have all challenges active at the same time.
You have to do like 20, 25 of them to clear out your week.
But you get shit like win three games of oddball and then you clear it and it goes kill a guy
three times with the oddball.
Yeah, you mentioned.
And it's like, no, have them all fucking active.
Is there a, is there any kind of like duplicate currency for specifically buying a skin that
you want besides real money?
It's called money.
Well, besides real money.
Oh, it's halo credits or whatever the fuck it's called.
Okay.
So there is a spend enough like I didn't duplicate whatever in game currency.
Yeah.
All right.
And number three, let people choose the game mode they want to play.
Well, of course.
Yeah.
The actual playlist.
If I, if I like, so there's a, there's a mode called, I don't know, power, power seed, reach,
reach what the, I don't know what the, somebody in the chat, I'll mention the name of the
mode where you have to, you have to power up a generator.
I didn't know that mode existed until yesterday.
It never popped up in the playlist.
Once.
And I have 30 stockpile.
I have 38 hours in halo infinite and I saw the mode once yesterday.
So what determines what's popping up next?
A dice.
Oh, okay.
Like, like it's, it's, it's fucked.
It's, it's super fucked.
It's like, it's damaging the game.
Yeah.
For real.
No, this is like, like I said, it sounds like a case study.
It's fascinating.
And then you get people that like, they think bitch to each other.
Like I had nine oddball games in a row last week and then I look over and I see somebody
who goes, I've gotten to play oddball twice in 15 hours.
It reminds me.
It's random.
It reminds me about like, it reminds me kind of of like destiny where at first when destiny
came out, all the anticipation and excitement I heard about was based on like lore reasons.
Like, oh, what is the traveler?
What is the setting?
What's it going to be like?
And then when it initially dropped, people were talking about like, oh, special guns and
cool supers and that stuff.
And then, and then a certain point and all the way through the sequel up till now, it's
all complaints about the meta.
And that's the entirety of what I hear about destiny is as a whole as a game.
And that they they're stealing my shit.
Just nothing about the content and of the actual, you know, or the whatever the game's
doing or the or any progression or cool or whatever.
It's just all about how unfun and how annoying the meta part of it is.
It's interesting because and this is not just for me to do like a puff piece on FF 14.
I have talked mad shit about fall fantasy 14, my my live service game of choice, the MMO
that I play.
But that's always tinged with like next week, I'm going to gush about it for two hours and
you're going to sit there and go, aha, aha, and I'm going to be like, it's my favorite
thing.
He's leaving the room.
Great, whatever.
But when the overall tone and discussion of a game that has this kind of long die hard
audience, you can you can get a feeling of just how it's built.
Destiny is built along some kinds of fear of missing out and exclusivity and all sorts
of stuff.
So every single goddamn thing I see anyone talking about destiny ever is people bitching
and complaining.
I can't remember the last time I saw anyone on any of my social media going, oh man, the
new destiny thing is so cool ever, ever, at all, ever.
It has been once years of just what the fuck are they doing over there?
That's all it's been.
And the entirety like, you know what it was?
No, I'll take it.
I remember it was the DLC of one, the King, something Tyrant King or something taking King
taking King.
Yeah, taking King.
Yeah.
That's the last time I heard about like, oh shit, people are like, wow, really good talking
about the content.
And do you know what?
You know what's specifically good about taking King Willie in this analogy for destiny?
Taking King was the last thing they made for Destiny one and they knew it was going to
be the last thing for Destiny one.
So taking King was the last thing they ever made for Destiny that was planned the last.
They built it so that people would like it over a long period of time.
It was not a stepping stone right to the next thing.
Right.
Okay.
Yeah, that that's the last point of content like that I've heard about that people were
like, yeah, everything else has just been like the fuck is rise of iron.
I don't even know what that is.
Did that come out afterwards?
Well, okay, then I'm wrong.
Regardless, taking King was the last time I ever saw anyone saying anything nice about
it.
Yeah, exactly.
Like for all my bitching about FF 14, like what's my timeline filled of its people posting
pictures of their characters getting excited for and Walker posting memes, fucking doing
the copy pasta about the free trial.
Right.
When usually when I saw people talk about Halo, it would be like, check out this grenade.
Fucking Halo memes, you know, like, like stupid shit that would happen to multiplayer.
Now talking about Halo has become bitching about this fucking battle pass, right?
Like what what what is the discussion of League of Legends?
It's complaining about the player base, right?
And it's like, yes, there's obviously things of value in these games, but it really says
a lot about like, what is the total non player?
What is the megaphone that's managing to reach you?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Is it is it like miserable complaints?
Maybe you're designing your game bad.
Is there a single player that people have played with a story?
In what?
In Halo.
In Halo.
No, that's coming out December 8th.
Oh, this is the multiplayer first, right?
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Which like the way they put this out seems like a mistake because apparently the campaign
is really good and would definitely take the edge off of how angry people are at the
multiplayer.
Yeah, that's and then and then co-op is not out until May.
So this is when you see the math being fucked on your your like microtransaction plans,
you have to obviously get a board meeting going and then go what were we planning to
do, pump the brakes?
How do we hard steer this away from whatever direction it was going in?
I think my favorite version of that conversation is the apex legends conversation where they
were actually quite blunt about it, where people were like, your skins are too expensive
and they suck because apex skins are like $20 and they said, well, we did sales and
it didn't increase.
We did like, like, you know, percent off sales and didn't increase people buying the skin.
So they're going to say it as they are, except the sales for those $20 skins was to kick
them down to like $11 to $15.
Right.
Right.
So like, yeah, no, it's still it's not you fucking idiot, like, yeah, but I, you know,
with these with these rollouts, it's like, how long is it going to take them to fucking
steer around the iceberg?
You know, it might be months, a while.
It will be at least five and a half more months because the first of the first season or whatever
they're calling it, like the of the first battle pass, everything is, everything is
so locked in that every week people are able to data mine events from two months from now
out of the system.
Like it's bordering on automated.
Also there's a point where if people can spend money to get to bypass this shit, they spend
that money and then they actually fix the system so that it's not garbage for anyone
who didn't, then those people are, yeah, gotta do, you know, like, or you don't do refunds
and take that backlash.
So I want to point out something to you, Willie, because there's a lot of parts of this that
are just like absurd, but the one that really got me because there's all the past stuff
in the progression crap and all that shit, right?
But then there's their actual store, right?
The the just the store is bad.
It is a bad store for microtransactions for cosmetics.
I'm going to send you the microtransaction that I took as the good example.
This is a little sword that you can put on your waist.
All right.
It is only available for that armor set, which has to be unlocked through the event that
I've been complaining about for 20 minutes.
And it costs almost $20 Canadian.
The buy comparison, buying Master Chief in Fortnite with a bunch of custom shit and a
glider and all that stuff cost me about the same $15 even by the standards of ripoff free
to play microtransactions.
It's the worst I've ever seen.
The little knife.
Yeah, yeah, that's fucking buy it.
This is this.
I could buy a whole Master Chief in a different game for the cost of that little sword.
I mean, I remember when I was playing Master Chief Collection and I saw all the progression
unlockable armors and I was like, oh, yeah, there's some cool ones in there.
I'd like to customize my my my ODS team in.
I tell you what, that comparison is not good for them right now.
Because the challenge system they're using right now is just a shittier version of the
Master Chief's Halo Reach system in which all those fucking challenges were available
at all.
Do stuff, unlock things and then dress up.
Yeah, like you can't tell me that you didn't know better because you knew better because
you did it.
You did it a couple of years ago.
This is that but worse on purpose.
I I'm foreseeing a when they get back from Thanksgiving, you know, break, they're going
to have a meeting internally and then next week or maybe the week after they're going
to post we're listening and here's the road map for changes that have no specific dates
on them.
And ultimately price point adjustments could fix a whole lot of this.
But I get who wants to deal with explaining that to people who've already spent their
money.
You know, yeah, except there's another problem with that genuinely the they had what they
called test flights where they had like beta playtesting sessions.
And the last test flight was maybe a month before this came out.
And one of the biggest changes was from the last test flight to this, they doubled the
amount of experience you need to level up in the battle pass from 500 to 1000.
So even in their own beta, they had it even in their own beta.
It was way better.
How about that?
Like like a month ago.
Interesting.
Interesting.
Someone looked at it and went someone we can do that.
We can do that.
Double it.
Yeah.
Fucking producer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Straight up.
Straight up.
Yeah.
So and here here's the bummer, right?
I've really been enjoying playing a Halo Infinite.
I've been playing so much Halo Infinite that I actually have earned the maximum amount
of things I could possibly be here.
Wow.
I earned the unique color that is only available to people who did every challenge this week.
And it's a nice color.
It's the only way to get white on your character without paying $20.
And that's the end of that because on fucking Friday, 14's expansion is coming out.
And if you think I have fucking time to run Halo challenges while the game I really care
about is out, you're all fucking crazy.
So I have to, I was going to say that like, I feel like there's a background through line
to this story, which is clearly you're enjoying it to some degree by putting this many hours
in talking about how stupid some of this stuff is.
But there's a part of this that you're enjoying the Halo because you're playing this much
of it.
Well, I had a point, I had a point on Saturday where I had one challenge to go before getting
the killing spree one.
And it was like kill three guys with the oddball, pick up the objective item and smack dudes
to death.
And it led to me loading into a game because I can't pick my game and leaving if it's not
oddball.
And I had to do that like five times, which meant there were five games in which people
got bots that lose the match for you in them.
And I didn't care because it can, it like people have gone forever against this, like
it like gone like long stretches without getting the game mode they need.
And when you get a game mode you're looking for and it's at the end of the day, you're
not having fun because you're like, well, I have to get this challenge because it's
Saturday.
Oh God.
Damn it, dude.
It sucks.
Yeah, it fucking sucks.
Yeah.
And it's like, but it's not because I guess what I'm getting at is that it's not enough
to make you be like, fuck this.
Because you're like, fuck this.
I have to get this dumb challenge.
I have to get this dumb challenge.
I have to get this dumb challenge.
I have to get this dumb challenge.
Because you're like, fuck this.
I have to get this dumb challenge, but not fuck this.
I'm not even going to.
I'm not like, I would expect a, either I'm not interested it or a, I'll wait till they
fix it.
Then I'll come look at it again.
Well, it definitely is enough to say, fuck this.
I'm never spending any money on this fucking thing ever.
Okay.
Right.
Like.
Like, I think one of the things that stood out to me is that if every single thing on
the, on the store right now cost one fifth of what it did, I know tons of people that
will have bought all of it.
Like color, if the colors were 90 cents to $2 instead of 10, yeah, people would be buying
them left and right.
Well, I imagine like at a reasonable price, you'd look at the one thing that you'd like
or the two or three and just be like, okay, I'll get these and that'll be that.
Yeah.
And that'd be fair.
Nope.
And here's, here's the thing.
It's not just the money.
It's like, yes, I'm very much enjoying Halo, but because of this, when N walker comes out,
I'm going to drop Halo completely.
I'm not going to, I'm not going to pick away at it.
You know, for funsies, I'm just going to drop it completely because I have this other game
that respects my time more.
Speaking of which, this is another thing I did this week and I'm going to move off of
it.
Everybody take your belts off, put them in your fucking inventory.
Go max out on poetics, go finish a wondrous tales and don't turn it in.
Finish your job quests before Wednesday night.
Well, my friends and I are engaging in the MMO tradition of expansions coming out on
Friday.
So we got to clean up our fucking inventory.
That makes space of garbage, that mess of trash that you've had just sitting in there,
completely full for like 18 months.
That's got to go because there needs to be, there's, you're going to be picking up tons
of shit.
Demi crystals to vendor sell 25 poetics for 500 guilt.
That's right.
Most reliable option for making some money.
Max out your poetics.
You probably max out your revelation.
You probably have that already.
And last but not least, I played Guardians of the Galaxy.
Ah, I hear it's pretty good.
So before I continue, the time that I spent with Guardians of the Galaxy, at least on
stream, was sponsored by Square Enix, Eidos and the third party company game site in
which they paid me some money to play the game on stream in which, shout out to game
site for the fastest sponsorship payment I have ever received.
I sent them an invoice and I got it within 20 minutes.
Wow.
Amazing.
Legitimately.
Guardians of the Galaxy.
It's a lot better than Avengers.
Yeah.
One of the things that cracked me up was that in the, in the little thing of the talking
points, they're like, make sure to spend about half an hour getting used to the game
before you actually stream it.
And I loaded it up and figured out what the real reason for that was, which was because
when I loaded up the game on the main menu, by the time I was able to get to the audio
section, I had heard both about one minute of everybody wants to rule the world by tears
for fears.
Oh boy.
And about, about 15 seconds of the final countdown before I was able to get to the audio section
and do the DMCA mode on.
Okay.
It is the only game I have ever seen in which when you turn the streaming mode on actually
puts a permanent text box at the top of the screen that says streamer mode on at all times
in all cut scenes in all gameplay.
And the reason for that is, is because streaming that game is a dramatically different experience
than playing that game because of all the music use.
There was a section in which a monster was chasing the gang and we got into the ship to run and
Peter goes, oh man, this is crazy.
Somebody put that, put that, put some music on.
And then Drax goes, yeah, put the music on.
And then Peter goes, yeah, I love this one to dead silence.
Oh, it's dead.
They don't replace it.
They replace the battle tracks with an in game custom album called the Star Lord album.
Yeah.
But a huge variety of cut scene music and event music is replaced by fucking nothing.
Oh man, at least get some fucking, you know, creative commons, open source attribution.
No.
And like, you know.
Aside from that, man, I want to give a shout out to Paul marketing over at Eidos who may
in fact actually be the Paul marketing that we are referring to in these jokes.
Don't worry about it.
I don't know if Paul still works there.
Let's not get too precise.
Anyway, but the stage shows the demos that were that showed this game off.
Did a really bad job of showing this game off.
This game is actually very enjoyable and fun to play.
It is basically a slightly more linear mass effect.
What I did not expect is that when I started the game up, I would spend about half an hour
walking around the ship talking to crew members like it's goddamn mass effect.
Okay.
And the not being able to switch to the other party members thing, not that, not that bad.
It's fine.
Yeah.
Okay.
No, it's fine.
It's once you're actually in it and they they're essentially power ups.
It works well.
It's well written.
It's funny.
There's at least one dialogue prompt that had me like it got me good.
Like like burst out like knee slapper.
Like you did it.
If anyone knows the one that I'm referring to, I'm talking about doing the math.
But yeah, it's a really good time.
Okay.
It's a lot of fun.
It's a pretty good game.
And that was just after a two hour period.
I'm going to check back in next week.
Once I redo that same section from the start with the music on and I bet.
I bet it will be a full like two points on the scale up because the fighting has like
dynamic music apparently and all the scenes have music selected for this purpose.
Okay.
Okay.
And it's like, wow.
I mean, there's just no, why does all be playing it muted?
There's no way around like this problem.
But I figure like a half point between dead silence and fucking getting struck would be
just replacement music.
You know, they do replace some of the music.
I think I think you would, I think it would be good to do all of it, but it just to make
it not that seems infeasible.
Yeah.
Probably the new Life is Strange game takes the just cuts literally all music out of the
game entirely.
Damn.
And so you'll have like long form dramatic scenes in complete silence.
What if you got the, what if you got all the, all the actors to do shitty acapella covers
with kazoos and then play.
That'd be pretty good actually.
That probably still gets sued actually because I know covers are also not okay.
Yeah.
Or DCMA, but.
No, it's, it was, it was really enjoyable.
I felt, I felt very happy with my time in it.
Obviously take this with a grain of salt because this, this opinion, the attention I gave it
is at least paid partially, but it was, it's such a weird situation because like I'm being
paid to show this game off and I'm like, dude, I am showing off a obviously inferior version
of this.
Like a genuinely inferior version is the only one that I can do.
That was the only question I had when they sent the email in was, can I turn the DMCA
mode on?
Because otherwise I'm not touching this.
I'm like, absolutely.
You can absolutely use the DMCA mode.
There's no problem.
And I'm like, man, that must have been the question every single person asked them.
Yeah.
Just for a game where the music is such an important part of the identity.
And also like that, that, after the film, like, yeah, no, the music, like 80s tracks
synced up to the, the, the beat and the action and the, the moments is totally part of the
Guardians identity.
And yeah, like without it just doesn't hit the same way.
I'm very much looking forward to playing that on my own time, not on stream.
Yeah.
I mean, so before this, I think I saw, there was like a gameplay, like 10 minutes video
or something like that.
And it seemed like it was pretty solid, looked like it was pretty good.
And then I think, yeah, Max took a look and also was enjoying that.
Cool.
Okay.
Yeah.
Anything to do better than the Avengers situation.
Completely.
Well, that game's just bad.
So that game's just straight up bad.
So, you know, good job.
Yeah.
Did I do anything else now?
The rest of this week is end Walker prep, maxing out poetics, putting my belts away, maxing
out the amount of seals that I have, et cetera, getting to the right spot so that I don't have
login problems, et cetera.
This week, I'm not streaming shit.
The only thing I'm streaming this entire week is on Thursday night, I'm going to be doing
a stream in which I go through every single trailer for every patch 14 ever released.
And I'm going to be ranking those patches based off of their quality and my personal
experience with them.
That's going to be Thursday night.
And then Friday at noon, we're going to be starting and Walker until and Walker is over.
So I can't provide a day to day schedule for that other than, yeah, going to be streaming
a lot of that video game.
That's going to be over twitch.tv slash pastures.
Okay.
So this is where we switch over.
Oh, you know what?
Hold on.
I do have one last thing for people that are going to be playing Final Fantasy 14 on Friday.
The single most important thing that you can do for your personal enjoyment is to go into
your chat log settings in your character menu.
Turn off the ability to receive private tells, turn off party chat, turn off Alliance chat,
turn off say chat, turn off character titles, turn off minion names.
Spoilers.
Yep.
I say people can just people will shout out like literally shout in areas.
Hey, does anyone want to go do this fight?
Which is right.
There have been times where people have titles that can appear above their heads, which are
this dude died spoilers unironically.
I think I mentioned it to you before, but there's a title in the game that when it came out was
blanks final witness.
There are also minion names that are like the true final form of X, right?
And don't use party finder.
Turn off every ability for anyone to talk to you.
So crazy that it's such a mat.
It's such an online experience, but the story is also very linear and spoilable.
Therefore, you have to go through the precautions that the game itself.
There's only one chat.
There's only one in game form of communication that I allow to get through and it's my guild
slash free company.
That's how most people are going to play it through.
Okay, your friends or people you trust will be able to talk to you.
Has there ever been like someone just walking around wearing a helmet?
That's a spoiler.
There was one for heaven's word where there was a mount that was a big spoiler, but you
wouldn't know it until you got there.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, that's fine.
But yeah, no, just don't just just be careful gang.
Don't you don't want to you don't want to fumble at the finish line.
Right?
That's the worst one.
Stormblood was the worst for that because you when everybody got stuck at the very beginning
because of the server issue with their instant servers.
So you had about 1% of the game's population that managed to get through and we're getting
all the way to the end while most of the game's population was stuck at the very beginning.
Okay.
So and people could people could go back to where people were stuck and literally like
dive bomb them with spoilers.
So like walking out of the movie theater while you're in line to go in next.
Yeah.
God can't believe they killed Thanos at the end of the movie.
Wow.
Holy.
Yeah.
Okay.
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Okay.
In the news...
Well, I gotta take five, I gotta piss myself.
Alright, go piss, go piss, go piss.
I'm going to piss myself,
not I gotta piss myself.
That's different.
Go piss, go piss, go piss, go piss.
I will go piss now.
Excuse me.
Breaking news!
Everyone shut up!
Heads up to...
Thanks, ScreenRant,
for putting us number two
in the list of best video game podcasts
directly underneath the Giant Bomb Cast.
Oh yeah, I just retweeted that.
That's cool.
That's dope, we're raunchy.
We say raunchy things
and then we have video game takes.
Sometimes I talk about my infernal fear
of shitting my own pants.
Sometimes I talk about fighting games.
I would say you talk about fighting games
more often than I talk about the fear
of shitting my own pants.
I would challenge that!
I would challenge that
with smart money.
And sometimes we talk about the news.
Like this.
Actually, so this was fun.
I really want to talk about this story.
They revealed, and I think we might have touched on,
Dragon Ball the Breakers.
Yeah!
And I saw it, and I was...
Dragon Ball by daylight!
And I was looking at it, and I was like,
Yeah, like...
Some of this seems kind of silly.
And like, what the fuck?
You're gonna pull a gun out to defeat Cellar?
Whatever.
And I was looking and I'm like,
Okay, this is so weird.
What are you going for here, right?
And then...
I just, I had a thought.
And it was honestly like,
I had a bit of a change of heart in a way.
And it was this.
Like, a Dragon Ball game,
where it's asymmetrical, admittedly,
you know, dead by daylight, and it's such,
have proven the path and established a genre
that you can then follow your IP in the steps of.
So it's not completely novel.
But I realized that, you know,
a game where you're like,
what if there was a super strong villain
and you had to like get away from them
in the Dragon Ball world on foot,
is the kind of thing I would muse about randomly
in a conversation going like,
what would be an interesting thing
that we haven't seen already in Dragon Ball
or in whatever franchise that we know
where we get the same shit over and over and over again?
I mean this unironically and without cynicism,
this is probably the most interesting
Dragon Ball game to ever be revealed.
So I honestly, I had to pump the brakes on my own brain
and take, because I was like,
this is literally what I would go,
why don't they try something like that, you know?
And I have also talked about like,
I'd like more acknowledgement
of old, original, classic Dragon Ball.
Oolong there is definitely that,
as well as Young Bulma.
But yeah, I just, I had to like just go,
stop the cynical take for a second, hold on.
Experimenting and trying shit out with a franchise
that we know they can just make another Xenoverse out of
is what I would like to see.
Why could they?
You know?
And you know, even to like,
even when it's as poorly executed
as that JoJo Battle Royale game,
where it's like, man, you could have done
so many more interesting things
with the idea of stand battles
than what you chose to go for here.
But you picked a genre that was getting popular
and you went, let's just throw our shit into that.
This is ostensibly doing the same thing,
but like, watching the breakdown on the mechanics
and how it's going down,
it's more interesting than anything else.
They've been putting out.
And one of the things I was wondering was like,
instead of a gun, why don't you just like call in a hero
that's a main character that can fight?
And it's like, yeah, so you can't do that,
but you can sort of become them using a limited power up.
So for just a second,
you can do a thing that makes you buff up for a bit
and fight for a minute.
And if you level it all the way to the maximum,
you completely become a ghost or a mimic of that character.
And you fight as Goku or as Vegeta or whatever.
And the level four version is that you become a Goku
for like one minute.
Yeah.
So that's my thing is I'm like, you know,
this is an interesting idea.
And I actually want to say like more of this type of thing.
We'll see how it plays.
Let's see if it's good.
I don't know like what the standard it would have to reach is
in terms of balance compared to say dead by daylight.
Yeah.
But that shouldn't be too hard.
But the breakdown of how it works was it looked like
there's a lot of ways to escape individually
or by potentially working together.
And it seems as if the villain is going to have the ability
to kind of just destroy parts of the entire map,
which I don't think is a thing in like those asymmetrical things
or in Friday the 13th and stuff.
Yeah.
The overall scale of this game is much larger
than its contemporaries.
It's a much wider area because you're dealing with characters
that have just crazy movement.
Yeah.
So it feels like what they're doing is putting an asymmetrical
dead by daylight type game on a map that's Battle Royale-esque.
And instead of a shrinking wall, it's the character,
the boss destroying zones so that you can no longer stand out.
You're totally right.
That's absolutely what that is.
Yeah.
And they can't constantly destroy areas,
but they reduce the map until it's eventually down to like,
you know, the smallest place if you can survive it.
And then by that point, you should have gotten together
the time traveling ships to escape
or whatever you have to do to get off the planet.
Or somebody has the ability to gokoo it up for a minute
or what have you.
Yeah.
So just on a design level, I'm like, yeah, this is interesting.
And then if what we see in terms of the characters,
items and gameplay continues to like homage and reference shit
that's, you know, from the Red Ribbon Army era,
Red Ribbon Army era, or, you know, again, the Oolong,
the young Bulma, the little capsule corpse that you see
all in the pre-Dragon Ball Z stuff.
I'm like, yeah, let's see this.
I hope this is legitimately fun and good.
I hope that the other villains that they implement are like
interestingly implemented into this level up system because
sell is like sell is the obviously the poster chop because
it makes perfect sense.
Grab you eat you power up, right?
He starts weak.
He gets stronger.
He's got a lot of forms to go through.
Frieza going to final Frieza form because he got a kill on a
rando doesn't quite make as much sense.
But I'm sure, you know, they're still going to be able to
implement him and the boo and the various types and such.
So I want to see how that works as well.
And then, of course, we get some of the villains that are not
just the main three or like some of the losers.
I mean, how cool or interesting would it be if one of them was
just like an Uzaru?
Yeah, why not?
You're just a rampaging fucking monkey and you do all the
use all the attacks and you blow up the map and you do all the
things, you know.
But like you have room for that to be something viable in this
game, you know, what if the final character you can unlock on
the on the Raider side?
I think they're called is Goku and Piccolo on their driving test
on their cars with the hat backwards.
They're just they're just like driving around going.
Oh, no.
While they crash into the player characters with panicked on
their faces.
Yeah.
You could take Nappa or Raditz and make them viable threats.
Yeah, totally.
100 percent.
Raditz can be a real villain with actual like, you know, time
and you can be a threat because you're fighting against fucking
normal people, you know.
Yeah.
It is.
I'm a bit disappointed that we have Oolong and Bulma and six
other fucking whoever's.
Yeah.
But my hope fingers crossed is that you're going to have like a
bunch of NPCs and then occasional recognizable NPCs, you
know.
It could have been all background characters from, you know,
the actual war.
But, you know, maybe there's a there's a like a customization
aspect or something like that, you know, but totally, totally
like little fucking normal humans doing their best to escape
seems fun.
Seems like a cool idea.
Yeah.
That's really cool.
So, so yeah, that's it.
I'm I'm I'm one 80ing my initial like, you know, dubiousness
on this because it's the exact kind of creative risk I'd like to
see taken, especially with a brand where we've already done
every other version of every other kind of game.
And also.
DBZ is like like games are the most creatively bankrupt
licensed game.
Exactly.
And I think that if this delivers exactly what we see from
the breakdown of the mechanics, this will hold the record for
being the Dragon Ball game with the least amount of Goku in it.
Yes.
Of all time.
Like as an example, the last game that was the most interesting
Dragon Ball game was the one where they took the normal Dragon
Ball game and said, what if we had the camera on the side and
it was good?
That was Dragon Ball fighters.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like I like an actual game where you are allowed to see Goku for
one minute tops and then he's gone forever is an exciting
prospect, you know, seeing as we just got Kakarot.
So that's cool.
That's cool.
Check out the mechanics breakdown to see some of the some of the
ways that they they're planning to do this.
But sure, let's have fun with the world of Dragon Ball.
What a crazy idea.
Hey, before we move on, hey, Willie, I'd like to apologize, but
I do have to take a quick break and take care of some pooch
duties.
I will be right back.
Dog, you are gross.
He is globbing and he's sliming.
I'll tell you why.
It's because I have this treat in my hand.
Big slivers.
Yeah.
So all my clothes just look like a man came to me and just came
all over me because he slimes me by the dog.
Dog is melting.
The salivation for treat is like a five second to slime process.
Yeah.
Holy fuck.
Hey, come here.
Come here.
He ran away.
He got his treat and he's done.
Where'd that go?
Yeah.
I was going to say.
It's not on me.
It's on the.
Okay.
So by the way, you ever wonder why we got this this blanket on
the couch at all times now?
Yeah.
No, I don't wonder.
We got a slime dog.
Yeah.
Skeet protection.
Yeah.
Also that also that time that he was just decided to skeet.
You want to hear something really awful?
The dogs got no balls, but I'll be waking up at noon or whatever and
I look over and the dog sitting next to me on the couch looking cute.
And I'll hear him like grunting like a weirdo and I look over and
he's masturbating with no balls.
Yeah.
He's sitting straight up like this and using his paw to just slap
his dick and going and foaming at the mouth.
I guess you still feel something.
Yeah, clearly.
Yeah, it's called for bulldogs.
Bulldogs do it a lot for some reason.
They call playing the banjo.
But the banjo is their penis.
Yeah.
Poor T Rex's.
The fuck did they do, you know?
All right.
Lizards, right?
Yeah.
Pards or whatever.
All right.
Well, uh, where to go?
Okay.
Well, how about this?
Uh, and this is perfect for talking to, uh, to geef over here.
Hey, have you heard that there's rumors that a chronocross remake
could be in development?
I heard those rumors in their fucking bullshit.
So, um, this started not too long ago and, uh, you know,
shout outs to anybody out there who, uh, appreciates a little bit
of chronocross, but it started with, um, oh, you're blurred.
Don't worry about it.
You're back.
It started with, um, a singer who, uh, claims to have worked on
the soundtrack of a PlayStation game remake some long, some time ago
on an Irish radio station.
Uh, Ava McMahon did an interview and she said that, uh, yeah,
she recently had to do, you know, um, she was specially called in
to do some, some work on a remake.
Didn't specify which obviously.
And, um, she said she'd be able to talk more about it at Christmas.
So people started going and were like, oh, I wonder what that
could be.
But it's gonna be a collaboration for some mobile game.
Then, um, there was a, what was the second thing?
So she recorded that.
And then the second thing was, uh, there was a G-Force, um, leak that
the G-Force now, that G-Force now leaks, um, included a couple of titles
that were unannounced.
She recorded Legacy of Thieves collection, a bunch of PlayStation
PC port announcements were in there, and Chrono Cross was on that list.
So, brr, there's a second thing that happens there.
Third thing that happens is, um, it's less set in stone, but forever
entertainment, the people who made the Panzer Dragoon remake
announced, and the House of Dead remake, uh, announced that they were
working with Squeenix on a bunch of, uh, remakes of various
Squeenix titles.
So they might be literally the studio involved in this process.
And then, uh, as of, uh, today, there is also now a mobile game, um,
called Another Eden, which people have kind of datamined and seen
that a collaboration event is happening with Chrono Cross.
I knew it!
So, it's always some mobile bullshit.
But the fact that the other people involved in this mentioned a remake
implies more that the, the, the, this crossover is promotion
for the actual game that's probably gonna drop, um, in about a month or so,
or announcement that'll drop in about a month or so.
It seems like there's a remake happening and that, that mobile game
accidentally kind of revealed that they're doing a cross-promotional thing
is, uh, the vibes I'm getting.
I don't know, I genuinely feel like it's a more, a bunch of clueless
people working on that collaboration and thinking it's a remake.
Could be, could be, um, but the fact that there's a studio name
that's attached as well, potentially, like, if it was just one thing,
like, oh, the, the, the actor or the, the musician kind of spoiled it,
that's one type of thing.
But there's like four different vectors coming in here.
And there's a potential studio that's supposedly involved to come in
and do a bunch of remakes.
And if that's what they're, like, literally announcing, um,
and they've done remakes in the past, like, we have a place
and a, and, and a studio that would not make the mistake
between thinking a collaboration is an actual full game.
You know?
So, start.
Chrono cross is weird to me because, like, a lot of people adore that game,
but I was always under the impression that there was always some legal shenanigans
that prevented them from touching the chrono name in any significant form.
And maybe remaking cross would be a way around that,
but it still seems like a wild pull,
especially considering they're full seam ahead on the FF7 remake stuff.
Yeah, um, it, it's, the chrono cross in and of itself appears to represent
a legal, um, fucking tango of tiptoeing and avoiding getting, you know,
wires crossed with any, any lawsuits involving Chrono Trigger.
But who, after time, re-releases still occur,
which means that there's still a, like, whatever, whatever is up with Chrono Trigger,
there is still some kind of relationship in place to allow a,
a re-release of the same thing for, in theory, the same split or whatever,
you know, is happening.
Um, if this is a remake, it could either signify that, uh,
it's a fully integrated, uh, part of the chrono franchise,
or it could work to distance itself even further.
I don't know.
Or it could just keep it the exact same.
You think it's possible at all that it's like a re-release on, like, all platforms
and that by remake it's just gonna be, like, cleaned up and had, like,
you know, some of the edges moved off?
Absolutely.
I think it's a steam port with some pretty, um,
upright textures and, um, some new tracks and some new, you know,
fancy features here and there.
But, um, not quite a remaster, not quite a remake,
just, you know, a pretty port.
I mean, have, if it's, if it's a simple port,
then maybe they can actually go back and work with CyberConnect on it,
because that's their speciality is making things look nice.
If they don't touch the guts,
I don't know if they're looking to spend CyberConnect kind of money, though, right?
I mean, CyberConnect was originally doing FF7 remake
before that didn't work out.
Um, but yeah, uh, this, this studio,
uh, with House of the Dead and with, uh, Panzer,
you know, seems like they're, they're,
I get, you know, like, blue point, it's like, you're, you're,
our thing is remakes, this is what we do.
We come along and we take something that you need ported
and, uh, we can remake or remaster.
Re, I don't see Chrono Cross having
so much love that it can get a complete from scratch
rebuild, you know, it's just, it's not FF7.
It's not.
And honestly, nothing is FF7 in that, in that context.
That's not a fair comparison.
And as much as I give, I give Chrono Cross its leeway,
I don't think it deserves that kind of budget.
Like it, well, you know, for all the, for all the,
the mess I'm going to talk about Chrono Cross,
uh, on Twitter in about an hour and a half.
Um, the one thing that I, that, that jumps into my mind,
like very strongly in terms of like making a full scale
top-down remake is that one of that game's big selling
points was that it had like a Suicoden level
of playable characters.
Insane amounts.
Party, which is like, you're not going to get
like high-end, next-gen models of Poshu and Glenn.
May, actually, maybe Glenn, but not Poshu.
The dog.
You remember the pink and white dog?
Like, that's not going to happen.
Yeah.
No, you're getting, you're getting kid and surgeon,
you know, call it a day.
Mm-hmm.
Um, interesting though.
Interesting.
Oh, also, there was another piece of potential evidence
with, uh, Yasunori Mitsuda posting a picture on Twitter,
um, with him and, uh, Michael McGlynn, uh, who,
Who is that?
Uh, I think is also, um, a, uh, the, a composer,
as well, that, uh, for music, you know.
So it seems like he was someone that worked on it as well
and that them being together because he was, um,
the person who contracted, uh, that, uh, Ava McMahon.
Mm-hmm.
So the fact that, you know, you're seeing, like,
the guy who composed Chrono Cross working with the guy,
another, take a picture with a guy and then that guy hired
this lady who, like, literally said on the radio,
she's doing a, it's, it's just, you know,
it all parts work with me here.
Another game that Mitsuda worked on, which is way better
called Xenogears could be the one that they're cleaning up
and working on because that game needs it.
What?
Okay.
All, all taste aside and all personal preferences aside.
Xenogears needs it way more than CC does.
Xenogears is like blatantly unfinished.
It absolutely does.
Um, Chrono Cross has like a real ending at least.
God damn it.
They did say that the, um, this is the multiple
PlayStation remakes, right?
So who knows?
Uh...
Okay.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna throw all this shit in the trash.
Uh, if you're gonna touch any of those games from that era,
can we undo some of the third birthday stink
and get a good Parasite Eve game again?
Oh man.
That one's the, like, I'm just gonna fight me.
No one?
How about this?
How about this?
They re-release just Xenogears disc two.
Like they, like they clean it.
They burn it onto the actual black disc.
Like just disc two.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's how you put it out there.
Go to your original, grab that shit, pop this in there.
Call it a day.
Um, so yeah, a little bit, a little bit of that going on.
Have you seen the opening to Stone Ocean?
I have.
It's great.
Girls doing crime.
Girls doing jail times.
Crimes into jail times, my friend.
Uh, yeah.
There's a lot of compact discs in that intro for some reason.
What are those, say, all the children who see the, the,
the live, the real life save icons on their dad's desks.
Yeah.
I think my favorite, this is an aside, but I think my favorite was seeing,
I don't know what dev it was, but talking about how they had to change
the save icon in their game, because their company had used
the floppy disk icon for like a decade, only to have playtesters come in
and just go, what the fuck is that?
What am I looking at?
What is a floppy disk?
Why would that mean saving the game?
I don't understand.
I mean, the version of that I heard was kids seeing a floppy disk
and going, hey, it's a real life save icon.
You know?
Ah!
Oh, you, that's what I was referencing.
I was referencing the, the, like that kids literally didn't know
what to make of it.
Yeah.
Um, yo, let's go fucking white snake.
So excited.
Uh, intro's incredible, intro, um, song's dope, visual's dope.
One step closer to badly animated 3D horses!
First, we gotta go through Florida.
You can't get to badly animated horses till you go through Florida.
Oh man, let's, let's just cross that bridge when we come to it.
And, uh, if you are, if you're in the, if you're anticipating
and you haven't yet seen, uh, Stone Ocean and you're wondering,
does Florida man?
Yes, the answer is Florida man does.
Florida man does.
Kudos to, like, in part three, they, they're kind of globetrotting,
right?
And they're going to different places and Ericie's like,
ah, I went to, I went to Taiwan or I went to so and so, right?
Or we went to the Middle East and had some chai or what have you.
Um, and, uh, but, and you know, then in part four, you're in a small town
and small town things and part five is in Italy.
And I feel like they didn't really sell the Italy so much in part five.
Like it was less of an important thing of how Italian it was compared to
the amount of influence Florida has on part six.
Fine.
Yes.
Yes.
Okay.
Fine.
Cause there's a whole lot of Italy going on in, in, you know, past five.
Florida is, is vital to many of the shenanigans that the part six
crew in, in, engage in.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Uh, something that's also really cool is that, um, the voice of Pucci has
been announced as Seiki Tomokazu and not Dan Castellana.
That is, uh, well, I mean, we're in Japan, I would assume.
Uh, that joke went right over your head.
No, I didn't get it.
Um, Homer Simpson's voice actor.
Okay.
I mean, not Chris Pratt almost would have been the, the contemporary there.
No, because Pucci, oh Jesus Christ.
Okay.
You know what?
You know what?
That was, that was a double.
That was four.
Yeah.
That was 40.
Yeah.
All right.
That was advanced.
You set that one up.
All right.
Okay.
Thank you.
Thank you Tomokazu, which is pretty great because, um, basically, um, if Takahiro
Koyasu, who is Dio is one of the most prolific voice actors in anime, like he, if he's the
Nolan North, right?
Um, Seiki Tomokazu was like also insanely prolific and they've, they've worked, uh,
uh, on a ton of things and I don't know if I recognize that name.
So he's Doman Kashu and G Gundam.
He's Toji from Ava.
He's that Von from Florida.
Um, he's just fucking those some hits.
He's everybody.
Um, and he's been around again, just like, um, um, uh, uh, you know, like they've, they've
been around together for a while.
So, uh, and they've, they've played off of each other in all kinds of like funny wild
ways and like different shows.
Um, so it makes, and Gilgamesh, there you go.
Exactly.
You know Seiki Tomokazu.
He's one of the most popular.
Gilgamesh from that Garugamesh video.
Uh, I don't, I think they're thinking of, uh, the fate possibly.
I'm gonna, I'm gonna go ahead, but, um, the porno game.
Yeah.
All over the place.
Gilgamesh and fate stay night.
Beautiful fucking Joe.
Um, he's Sagara Sosuke in full metal panic.
I mean, it's just, it, it goes on forever.
Um, so, uh, what better point, what better pick for someone to work along size, what
better pick to go alongside, you know, um, Dio's voice actor than, than this.
It's, it's, it's fucking perfect.
It's so great because of the story.
I'll have to take your word for it.
I'm not as familiar with this dude.
Um, yeah, in terms of, in terms of like how prolific you, you don't, you don't really
go and get any further.
He is.
Shame you're not going to hear him because you'll be listening to the dub though.
Uh, uh, no, but no, but really he's the Troy Baker to, um, Dio's Nolan North.
That's, that's basically the deal.
If that makes any sense.
It does.
Uh, okay.
Fuck yeah, JoJo, coming soon.
And now everybody, yeah, no.
What is that showing up actually?
Uh, word on the street is early December.
Yeah.
That's in two days.
Mm-hmm.
Coming real soon.
Um, and for any, for anyone who's still going through the list, you can scroll forever.
You're going to see your faves.
Kanji, like, uh, you know, just, just scroll until you find the character you love.
He's done it.
Can't wait for JoLin to be announced for multiverses.
Oh, you open up that door.
No, because then you have to get through the fucking, uh, the shown and jump complications
and they don't, they don't play nice.
It's going to, it's going to be a lot less.
It's going to be a lot less weird in approximately 16 to 21 episodes from now when other multiverses
characters start showing up in part six.
We will see how they handle all of that.
Um, anyway.
So, uh, JoJo looks dope.
They announced a port of 13 Sentinels to the switch.
Hell yeah.
Please, please, please.
Get that on everything, please.
Love for the game.
And they're adding some new shit.
Um.
What?
Really?
Yes.
Very minor.
It's not story content.
Just, there's now, um, a second, um, mech for every character that they can deploy out
into with different abilities.
So in destruction mode, in destruction mode, battle outfits.
So in destruction mode, you're going to have, uh, alternate battle outfits to be used.
Um, so I guess like separate configurations for the, for the, um, or, I don't know if it's
just cosmetic or if it's actually gameplay, but the, the, the translation is very rough
on the trailer that says each character gets a new battle outfit in destruction mode and
it shows a picture.
That might just be a costume.
It might be a costume, but the picture it shows is next to the mech.
So I'm not sure.
But, uh, yeah.
Can we get a, can we get a PC version of this so I can gift it to people?
So this is what comes next.
And this is what I was about to say is this is great news.
I'm happy to see that anything that gets more eyeballs on the game, um, is happening.
But holy fuck, a lot of people need this on PC because they're not going to play it on
anything else or they don't have anything else.
And it's super deserving.
PC, well, the PC port would last for a, past a console generation so that you'd be able
to go, Hey, you should check out 13 sentinels.
Oh, it's an old game.
Kind of do I have what I have?
You have a computer?
Why don't you be able to?
It's on sale.
Grab it now.
You know, whatever.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Um, so it just, and it, and it makes it so much easier to recommend to people, you know,
or to just be like here, check it out.
Yeah.
Grab a gift or do whatever the case you need to.
The thing about vanilla wear games, it's always so frustrating.
They very rarely get ported on more than any, but they never rarely, if ever get ported
to anything.
And if they do get ported, it's always to another console.
That's a couple of years old.
And then after a little bit you go, Oh, fuck.
Can I play Dragon's Crown?
And like, thankfully for Dragon's Crown, they ported it forward.
But they're making it committed to the PSP.
You know what I mean?
Like, like, do you want to play a forum or a massa?
Yeah.
Like break out the Vita or the fucking we.
That's it.
That's all you got.
Yeah.
No, vanilla wear doesn't seem to like like PC or they're just like Sony funded to the
degree that Sony is not interested in them porting it off, even though they're starting
to look at it now.
But the way that Sony's handling ports on PC for their big titles is as advertisement
for the sequels, right?
Yeah.
And God of War dropping on PC right as sequels for both of those games is about to drop on
PS5 is the most deliberate shit ever.
You know, it's good.
Good idea.
Smart.
Um, so yeah, 13 Sentinels needs needs all the love deserves all the love.
Um, you have a switch and you're interested in 13 Sentinels, even a tiny, tiny, tiny,
tiny thing that you should go and get it.
And you know what?
It's a 2D game with some sprites.
It'll probably run fine except for missile rain.
But they're so basic.
It's such, you know, they're not my PS5 could barely handle some of that stuff.
Maybe missile raid will cause problems.
Maybe.
I would like to think that these untextured little drops and sphere pops can be handled.
You know, look Mario 128, it can handle it.
How far past that are we now?
I don't know.
But you know what?
It's the kind of cool.
It's the slowdown that you like though.
It'd be cool.
Yeah.
You want it to kind of chug right there and only there like when Mega Man X when you're
hitting that ramp and Armored Armoredillo.
Yeah.
So yeah, 13 Sentinels, check that out.
The people behind DC Universe are working on a Marvel MMO?
Wow.
So, and this gets, this is kind of like when the Matrix Online got announced.
You go like, okay, so convert this franchise into an MMO setting that makes sense.
With the Matrix, it works perfectly because the whole story about people waking up.
You would think, huh?
You would think, right?
Just besides execution of the game, just the setting for why there'd be a ton of people
with a bunch of powers in that.
Hey man, you want a really good, feel good moment about the Matrix Online?
Lawrence Fishburne's not in the goddamn new movie because he got killed in the in-canon MMO event.
Yep.
Morpheus died.
What a great use of that license.
But look at the guy that looks like young Morpheus.
Did you see him?
I saw him.
He looks like young Morpheus.
Fifo-5-4-Fius.
Oh yeah, in case anyone didn't know that, Morpheus canonically in Matrix Lord dies in the MMO.
Yeah.
And that's, you have to live with it.
The weirdo slime man just crawls out of event and shoots him like five times and then he's dead.
It's kind of like Palpatine in Fortnite.
It's hard canon that must be acknowledged from here on out forever.
Man, you know that?
That was terrible day one and that's only going to age like rotten milk every day in the future.
When people go, hey, I want to get into Star Wars and then they go to that movie and they're like, what, when?
And then somebody has to go, well, you know that game that shut down a couple years ago?
Yeah, he came in years ago.
I'm waiting for the game like 30 years from now where they go back and reference the time that Palpatine sent a broadcast signal to some weird system, to some specific system.
And they're like, where was it?
They're like, we don't know, but it was received and displayed somewhere and maybe they have to locate it on a star chart.
You know, but then you can go and look at the lore and go Fortnite lives right here in the undiscovered space.
I can't believe, I can't believe there were people who actually thought that that third Star Wars movie was going to be anything other than garbage after the most important thing to ever happen in Star Wars was a live service ad in some video game.
Like, like, I can't think of a movie that had less artistic integrity and I know, yeah, it's big budget Hollywood garbage, but like, holy shit.
The moment you get to the end of Last Jedi and they don't do the thing, just play the sound of a deflating balloon and have it last for the entirety of the third movie until the credits roll.
Just for straight for hours until and then that's it.
That's what you need.
All right.
So how does Marvel create an MMO where lots of people have superpowers and they and it makes sense in the world?
Well, you go ahead and grab the people who made city heroes and you just make city heroes too.
So that's that's my first thought is you just go that route.
The other thought is like you try to make it so that like you're still in a populated city with lots of normal people or that there's a sense of you still being one out of X number of people, you know.
And then the other thing is if you give people the ability to, you know, I guess dress up as all their favorites and mix and match costume pieces and stuff.
Like, do you just play the game and thousands of people cosplay as Wolverine?
Or is it about being original?
That was City of Heroes' biggest problem in that in order to fucking not get stomped into the dirt by DC and Marvel, they had to be like daily like stop making fucking Batman.
And you can get around character can't be Batman.
The character creator will let you make your Batman's but you just have to fucking police it and be like nope.
Uh-uh no drizzed.
So what do you do?
We're just the fucking Scourge of the Earth with that shit.
How many Zs?
Yeah.
The X's.
So as Marvel, this is the official game now, so you can, you know, absolutely encourage everyone to get their own Spider-Man mask.
But, like, do you go for an angle that says make your own superhero and here's a bunch of unique parts?
Or do you just play dress up like a Super Skrull with a bunch of limbs belonging to different characters?
No, you have classes and the classes will correlate to different superpowers.
And the way that they're going to get around people playing as Mr. Fantastic instead of Stretchy Man is that Mr. Fantastic will be your job trainer.
Sure.
So you'll be the apprentice ship to Wolverine or Mr. Fantastic or Iron Man.
So wall crawler will just be a class then?
That one's tough.
Because people...
Come on!
For real though, like being what do you call it?
How do I put it?
Wanting to be the character is not even the biggest problem for a superhero MMO.
I don't know how they fix it in DC Universe Online, but the number one design issue is the movement.
Because superheroes can fly by default all the time.
And that's what you want to do?
It's fun.
Swinging and super jumping around the level like Hulk is the point.
Like what is the DC Universe Online solution?
I don't know. I don't know anything about DC Universe.
Out there. I'm now going to just somehow get the answer.
Does everyone just fly and do all their powers everywhere?
Good question.
There are movement power sets in DC Universe Online.
Okay.
If you flash it.
Three types of movement.
Can you...
Super speed, flight, or acrobatics?
Okay.
There you go.
Teleporting?
Smart. That's a smart solution.
So what if you just like...
So if you get like shadow cat powers, do you just no-clip?
You wouldn't...
Like it's one of the things that when you're having like a superhero MMO, one of the biggest problems is that the only way to make like a series of like classes
or anything approaching that is that you have to boil down a...
You have to boil down a fiction that is functionally infinite in what people can do to like six different powers.
Yes.
Being speed, super straight.
Exactly.
Boil them down to like, are you the techno man with a robot suit?
Are you the strong flyy man with the laser beams?
Are you the right...
This is my most...
This is the most curious I'll be about this game is how do you pair an entire world of powers down and do it justice, you know?
While delivering what people want.
I can fucking answer that.
So if you're going to be a superman type, you know, or in this case...
I can answer your question.
Sure.
You have the tank rolls be fire, ice, earth, rage and atomic.
You have the crowd control gang be gadgets, mental, light, quantum and munitions.
And you have the healers be sorcery, nature, electricity, celestial and water.
So that's how they're doing it?
You really have three classes with five variations therein.
So be a soldier, super soldier guy, or be a magician person.
But you can't specifically have a unique superhero identity with your own like things that...
Yeah.
Alright.
Okay.
You gotta make sacrifices, I suppose.
Hmm.
It's just, it's this weird thing where it's like it's whereas...
Whereas pretty much anything that has a historical basis on Dungeons and Dragons, which is almost everything.
It's way easier.
Because there's so many archetypes that just slot right in.
A monk.
A monk is a monk in 300 different games.
Yeah.
Everybody knows what that is.
With superhero stuff, you end up usually taking those same roles and then naming them something different and then changing what the effects actually are.
But when you know that the universe has like, okay, you're a monk, but what are you representing?
Are you representing, you know...
Marshalists.
I mean, so if you can pick different sources of power essentially, you know, do you then get to...
Because yeah, you have the goal that is give people the ability to essentially cosplay their favorite Marvel characters and do similar things.
Or you have like, unique but limited, you know?
Anyway, alright, well, I imagine it's gonna be like what you said, where you just limit it.
What I think of, or what I enjoy the idea of is something that's a little less practical than that.
So if I want to do my night crawling teleports, I'd like to be able to design a character that can do that.
But that's not practical in any way, shape or form for a system like this.
You know, the wildest thing about this is, is the business aspect of it.
So the single smartest thing Clifford Blazinski ever said in his entire career, is that there's room for two.
The market leader that's totally dominant and number two.
And Marvel is looking at the current MMO space and seeing number two crawl up into number one spot and number two wracked with problems.
And go out, I bet we can get number two.
Wow's up for fucking grabs.
That's, it certainly is, they're not wrong.
You know, they ain't wrong about that.
If they can find ways to basically, in theory, learn from the mistakes and follow the lead of 14.
As long as it's competent, launches well, and there isn't a news article every single week going, the people who made this game are rapists.
I think they might be able to steal second base.
Seems possible.
I just, I guess we'll just have to wait to see the trailer that shows you exactly those six classes and how limited that's all going to be.
Where it's like, whatever Marvel hero you want to, it's gun.
You're a gun, you're a gun guy.
You're just, you're walking around and you shoot.
That's your special, you know, or, or you're, you're a healer.
You do the, you do the Scarlet Witch, but it's really just the healing.
And that's it.
Like, oh, okay.
All right.
Can I wear an X-Men uniform?
Yes.
Yes, you can.
You can faction up with that.
Okay.
I should mention, um, I don't know what they're thinking.
I hope they don't spend too much money on this because it is known that Riot is working on an MMO.
Which is, yes, that's the, that's the, that's the, that's the most hidden of their projects.
Oh my God.
And people are starting to make MMOs again.
They're trying.
Considering, considering the history and the staff, it might as well just be the sequel to World of Warcraft.
Huh.
Dude, everyone gave up on that genre.
14 took it, WoW stood in place, and everyone said, fuck this, we're out.
It took a long time for 14 to crawl up there.
Yeah.
But you know, resilience and rebooting the game and basically it's a sequel.
Let's be real.
Yeah.
But they just stopped trying.
We're back to the phase of people making MMOs again.
Giving it a shot.
Well, Riot is, Riot is doing the thing where, hey, do you know one of the, you remember one of the reasons why World of Warcraft was so popular right out the gate?
Because people love Warcraft and Starcraft.
Yes.
Yes.
Absolutely.
In fact, do you know what people love right now?
Runeterra and Arcane.
Sure.
League of Legends.
Yeah, no.
For sure.
For sure.
And you know, every hypothetical of World of Starcraft just never happened.
Right?
Yeah, that just fucking nowhere.
Okay.
So that's coming.
Every single project about Starcraft that wasn't Starcraft got canceled.
Except for Starcraft 2.
Yeah.
Which I consider to be more Starcraft.
But technically the first version of that probably did get canceled.
Yeah.
Oh, absolutely.
Like they canceled like fucking two action games and prep work on MMO.
The most cutting room floor content of any IP.
Shame they couldn't apply that to some of their staff.
All right, speaking of 14 and MMOs, there was, I didn't know about this, but apparently
some people caught that Babylon's fall had a bunch of gear in it that people are like,
is this just FF 14 gear?
And the answer is yes, it absolutely is.
And then there was some screenshots of like literally armor being just asset dumped right
in.
And apparently this got a response from Squeenix specifically coming out to say that Yoshida
offered his help with existing gear and emote assets in Babylon's fall.
And essentially he offered to help them to give them stuff that they could use in Babylon's
fall and they said yes please.
And the reason why it seemed like all of the, or the majority of the gear is all just straight
up lifted from FF 14 is because a lot of it is starting gear.
And the demo that people played didn't have, people weren't going to see the mid-range
gear, which is where the original stuff comes in.
So the closed beta showed off most of the asset borrowed stuff.
Like anybody thought that it was stolen or that non-official because Squeenix is the publisher.
No, but it is just a question mark of like why is it just literally the same shit?
This is a good way to segue into it.
I know some people who played Babylon's fall, the beta period, or the play test, I don't
know what the fuck it was called.
CBT.
That game sounds terrible.
Oh no.
I don't know if you remember when they showed it off for the second time.
Yes.
Yes.
And it looked like garbage.
Apparently it plays like garbage.
The second time they showed it off, they showed off more combat and more air comboing things.
And it seemed like they were improving the combat at the very least over what they first
showed off.
Like Platinum opened up a studio specifically to make live service games and this is their
first attempt is dire.
What they showed off in June looked better than what they showed off until 2019.
Well, I'm telling you the very first thing I saw was people going, wow, I love an action
game from Platinum where I just smash on an enemy that doesn't look like it's taking any
damage.
Oh my kryptonite.
Yeah.
Okay.
That'll kill me.
I can't handle that.
I can't handle doing wild shit on something that stands there and has a number popping
out of it.
It looks like complete garbage.
It looks like trash.
Like this might kill Platinum outright.
Oh man.
Not before the hero game.
They made a whole studio for this fucking thing.
Hold up.
Hold up.
What about the hero trilogy?
Also, I need to really point out very strongly, I'm highly familiar with the gear that we're
talking about that got sent over.
It's a bad sign.
FF 14 is a game running on spaghetti.
Do you remember what I was talking about technical debt earlier?
They have been astonishingly forward in the FF 14 development that they are dealing with
mountains of technical debt in FF 14.
It's a miracle that game runs at all.
Right?
All the gear that is in FF 14 that they kicked over down to Babylon's fall looks way, way
shittier in Babylon's fall, which is ostensibly a new game.
I didn't even check.
It looks like crap.
Is there other, is there a...
Yeah, there's photos.
I was going to say, are there streams of the CBT?
I did not see any streams.
I don't think you were allowed to do it.
Oh, okay, okay.
Oh, wait.
Hold on.
Me, I played it?
Oh, apparently, hold on.
I'm seeing...
Oh, here we go.
12 minutes of closed beta gameplay.
Yeah, okay.
No, there's a couple of...
And this is from about two weeks ago.
So there's...
She did a...
Can I get a VOD?
How far back was that?
That was probably a while ago, right?
Oh, and Giga Boots also covered it?
Okay, so there's people...
Yeah, there's a couple of...
There's a couple of videos here I can see.
So yeah, if you want to go check out footage of Babylon's fall,
you can check out Giga Boots and Meabite.
And apparently that looks like trash.
I'm just going to keep scrolling until I find something.
I can't find anything, fuck.
God damn it.
All right.
Giga Boots did an hour's long stream and they melted.
Yeah, they love playing garbage for long periods.
I don't know what's wrong with them.
Oh, Platinum.
Okay.
You know, Platinum games felt really good.
And then the...
Well, time and money are things.
Yeah.
That's it.
There's a sentence.
Like, you know...
Dash will change was pretty good.
I liked Dash will change.
Dash will change was pretty good.
Bayonetta 3's probably going to be pretty good.
But I will say there's definitely some Platinum games that have lost their luster.
I will still say that there's fun parts to Transformers and Korra.
I think Transformers is way better than Korra.
Yeah.
We don't talk about Ninja Turtles, but, you know,
I will say that there's stuff to see in those two.
Okay.
All right.
Damn.
Don't worry, guys.
Platinum's here to save us from the live service disaster that is Outriders.
You know, as somebody who plays Square Enix's biggest and most successful live service game,
watching them constantly go,
but what if we had another live service game and dumping millions and millions of dollars into them,
only for them to completely crash and burn is pretty frustrating.
I think we've talked about this.
And I think I've said it.
But I was there when the moment happened where the emails went out and the discussions occurred
that were essentially like gas, baby, all pedal to the metal.
We're going full gas.
And the idea of like burning through a franchise in the quest for a successful gas game,
whether it's sleeping dogs, whether it's sleeping dogs, whether it's Nosgoth,
because that's what we're going to call it,
whether it's Tomb Raider, whatever the case might be,
the proposition of the money you can make on that is so high that they're not going to stop.
Even if they have one, there's always another one in the works,
because it's too profitable.
Yeah, that's Nosgoth, Outriders, and probably Avalon's Fall are totally going to make so much profit.
Avengers too.
Look at all that profit they're making.
Absolutely.
It's Gambler's Fallacy practically.
Just looking at the potential gains is too addictive.
They can't stop.
And I remember seeing what essentially felt like we're grabbing the steering wheel
and swerving violently off the fucking egg to the exit ramp.
If you've seen that with the car that serves towards gas, man,
everything that's not gas needs to implement gas or think about how we can start using gas mentality
in games that were not originally designed with gas at the core.
It's interesting because the very last interview that YoshiP did,
he talked about now that the company has acknowledged FF14's success,
like we have all the resources we need, something like that, right?
And it's fascinating because the game's been out for eight years now,
and there were definitely periods in which they would say,
yes, we are aware, but we don't have the staff or resources to take care of that feature.
We're very sorry.
And then Square Enix would put out a fucking earnings report
that shows off that FF14 literally paid for five games to crash and burn.
Of course. FF14 will continue to pay for all this wild shit.
And it's like, why don't you just put some money back into that?
They've clearly put some money back into that,
and Walker has a lot more going on than usual.
Yeah.
And also, but hold on, like FF7 Remake will drop,
and people will be like, fuck yeah, here, buy this, you know?
Yeah.
But no, FF14 will continue to pay for these fucking Blackjack gambles
on a live service game because holy shit,
we stand to make so much if the fan base that loves Legacy of Kane
is down to pay money on a regular basis for Legacy of Kane related content.
That might have been the actual stupidest one I've ever seen from any company
on like a misread of what like a group of people actually want.
They want this franchise back.
They're willing to pay for it on a monthly basis.
Let's fucking, let's get them.
Like they could have literally gone and spoken to five random people
and would have all got completely universal answers of like,
I am not interested in that.
You liked Sleeping Dogs.
I did.
You liked Wei Shen, motherfucker, who are you?
I did, that's true.
So then you will be willing to pay.
No.
For the Chinatown Wars.
No.
On a monthly basis for more Sleeping Dogs content.
No, that's not true.
And if we take every potential purchase of Sleeping Dogs
and say this, that number of people on a weekly, on a monthly basis as income,
like, yeah, it's, it's all, it's a bunch of producers trying to justify their existence.
I was just reading up on a thread that was like Mel Brooks.
Stories about Mel Brooks are coming out.
I think he's got a book coming out.
But Mel Brooks' biggest piece of advice with dealing with the studio,
which is totally appropriate, is him talking to the studio people about blazing saddles
and how the head of the studio tells him, I don't like Gene Wilder.
Get rid of him.
I don't want him in the movie.
I don't think he's a good pick.
And you know what Mel Brooks' solution to that is to that?
He goes, absolutely great, he's gone.
And then he just leaves and doesn't do anything.
Like every single time he would show a cut of blazing saddles,
they would tell him all this shit to cut.
He's like, absolutely, I'm writing it down.
We're going to cut that.
That's going to be gone.
Throw the piece of paper out on the way out of the fucking room.
That's one way.
They would fucking forget because these types of fucking idiots just see something
and they go, what if I made this?
Or what if I changed this?
The only time I can ever think of that working in my life
is when they showed Anthem to John Riccatello
and he said, that flying shit's pretty good.
You should focus on that.
And he was right because that was the only thing anyone liked about Anthem.
Million percent.
Or was it Patrick Soderland?
Whatever, it doesn't matter.
But like the one EA guy who said, yeah, that flying shit seems cool.
So the method, that's like, I used to like, that's brilliant because like,
here I'm looking at the South Park method where they get around sensors
by putting in jokes that are way too far,
clearly obviously going to get cut.
And then they take the bite and the bait and say, you got to get that out.
And they're like, okay, cool, so that the regular shit is left alone
because the contrast is so insane.
You remember Battle Chest back in the early 90s?
Yeah, okay.
So Battle Chest was a game, was just a chess game,
but it had fancy animations with the pieces killing.
Lightning strikes and shit.
It was really simple.
It was a lot of fun.
People liked it.
Yeah.
The people working on that knew that their producer was the kind of guy
who every single fucking time they showed him anything,
something had to change so that he would, you know, have a job.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Was they put a duck that just flew around the queen's head,
20 foot, like the whole time.
It looked like shit.
And they showed him the fucking gold, the gold master.
It was like, yeah, it looks great.
Just cut the duck.
And sure enough, there's their game.
Yep.
You got to hand him something to change.
Got to get the stamp of approval, right?
Writer punch ups.
These fucking run scripts.
You got to punch it up.
The script is fine.
It doesn't need a punch up.
But if I don't change something, they won't hire me and pay me again
for more punch ups.
I got to change.
Because I didn't do anything.
I got to get a credit here.
Time to punch it up, even though it doesn't need one.
It's how a bunch of movies get fucked up.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Two, three, four punch ups.
You get, you get a movie, you get an animated show.
And in some cases you get a game that has voice talent.
And the number one like fuck up.
I saw some voice actors complaining about this the other day where
the fucking projects will go.
Everything's a go.
Some, something happens to the project, right?
Like, you know, there's money problems or whatever.
Gets kicked over, gets delayed, gets kicked down the street to a new producer.
Or like a slightly different top executive team.
First thing, well we want to hire our own people.
Everybody's casting, it's throwing the dirt.
Completely rehire every single fucking role.
For no reason.
For nothing at all.
Yeah.
For no gain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's just, it's just the fucking, the worst.
Shout outs to the Austin Powers coffee diarrhea scene.
Because the existence of that scene where he drinks a cup of what he thinks is coffee.
But it turns out it's poop.
Yeah.
The implication of that allows everyone who gets censored in a movie to go,
you allowed Austin Powers to sip shit.
So our joke is not as far as that.
And everyone's got to go, well fuck, that's true.
Now, this is just something I was reading up on a Twitter thread earlier today.
So take it with a grand assault.
But supposedly the Orson, not Orson.
Alfred Hitchcock was sending in fucking Psycho to the MPAA for ratings and films.
And they were like, fucking no, this is the most violent movie ever.
Like get the fuck out of here.
And he just kept sending in the same cut over and over and over until they got used to the amount of violence and let it through.
Then that's those stories, dude.
Yeah.
I've said it before.
The Walking Dead, the comic, right?
Not even before the show when it was just the comic.
Walking Dead, it's like, OK, so I got a pitch, right?
I think it was like IDW or whatever.
And it's like, yeah, OK, so it's a zombie story, post-apocalyptic.
We're going to tell stories about these characters, and it's going to be interesting.
And they're like, and?
And he's like, and that's the pitch.
And they're like, yeah, no.
And he's like, and then you find out that the zombies are actually, it's aliens that are behind the whole thing.
And at first we start out with like a hint of it, but you don't know where it comes from.
And then the threat of it being zombies becomes a preparation for a whole, all out invasion war.
And, you know, multiple books and we build up to it and you never even realize it was sci-fi the whole time.
You thought it was just a zombie story and they're like, apps are fucking loopy green like that shit.
Five books in.
Hey, when are we going to get to the?
Yeah, no, that was a real I lied.
I lied to you.
Yeah, I'm a liar.
We're an idiot.
We're never getting to the aliens, are we?
Nope.
Nope, we're not.
OK, well, it's selling, so thank you.
I think producers that somehow like nepotism their way into this shit without knowing a single goddamn thing about anything are like literally the curse of every entertainment industry.
Like they're the absolute goddamn worst.
They're like, you could point to a single reason why everything sucks shit.
It's like this type of person that happens to always be around.
But I think the best one ever and it's much too long of a story to tell here.
It's Kevin Smith describing his fucking Superman pitch and how the fucking producer that he had to go to his house to talk to him for some reason
just kept becoming obsessed with a giant mechanical spider being the ending of the Superman movie.
Only for Smith to back off on it.
And just a few years later, see that Wild Wild West is coming out under the same producer and fucking sure enough, there's a giant mechanical spider at the end of the year.
The doors swing open.
Because this guy is just like every single fucking movie anyone talked to him about.
I was like, what if there was a big mechanical spider at the end?
So it's become a whole like thing now with multiple talks and takes and podcasts and such.
But the original first evening with Kevin Smith, I think is where that story was told.
And yeah, it's unbelievable.
It is just an absolute walk into the uselessness of these of these producer roles and then the just wanting to get their name stamped on the thing
so they can walk around the cocktail party going, hey, you know, that bit right there?
Yeah.
That was this guy, you know, and just doing whatever the fuck they can.
It's awful.
And it's also the reason why great scripts are almost destined to die even when they get greenlit, you know, in most cases.
Anyway, so that was a big, long ways to go.
But I don't know what we were talking about.
Babylon's fall.
That's why Babylon's fall has FF 14 gear in it.
All right.
Other things I haven't before we leave off on that.
Actually, I just want to make one final comment.
FF 14 went from being a complete disaster to being a gigantic success in every sense of the word and a not insignificant amount can be laid at the direct feet of one really good producer.
Instead of as the opposite of the stories we've been telling when the person who actually gets to make the decisions knows what they're doing.
Yeah, you can turn garbage into something valuable.
The key and the most important part, especially when you know you're dealing with one of these assholes.
Just lie.
Just lie.
Just lie to them.
Just lie.
Yeah, sure, dude.
That's why of all these stories, like they're all fun because there's like two steps of obfuscation that are hilarious.
But the Mel Berks one is like it's there is nothing else.
There's yeah, there was no plan.
No point on nothing.
There was no second plan.
No, I would just I would just lie to them every single time it came up.
I would just tell them absolutely boss.
Yeah, because that's all they want.
They want people to capitulate to them.
There you go.
Just lie.
Mel Berks is a goddamn legend.
So just a couple other little things.
One apparently epic just bought harmonics.
Oh, cool.
I have not been paying attention to what harmonics has been doing since I guess drop mix.
But seems like they've tried a bunch of stuff.
I just.
Yeah, I unfortunately didn't keep up.
But there's some cool music stuff that harmonics does and done done.
But epic want it.
Epic want it.
Epic got it.
In their continuing quest to make sure there's no monopolies.
I mean, I have to assume that harmonics was in a situation where they they they needed
the money because we haven't heard from them in a minute.
Yep.
That's it.
Also, rumors of Mass Effect adaptation are happening with Amazon Prime TV deal or some
such, and or some kind of adaptation.
And Henry Cavill actually teased a picture of him reading a script that was actually
just a printout of a Mass Effect three wiki page.
Yeah, so.
Number one.
Wow, this is late.
Like, wow.
Two.
Yeah, that's a totally great fit as long as you do anything but adapt the games.
There's a ton of books and Lauren shit to go on.
Yeah.
Literally anything other than just telling the story of the games.
So apparently the reason why so late or why all this noise about Mass Effect now is because
Wheel of Time that just dropped has been a huge success.
And like it literally came out 10 days ago.
Yeah, I was talking.
Me and Paige were hanging out and talking with Amanda the Jedi and she had just gone to see
that.
Apparently it's quite good.
So yeah, like.
Turns out you can adapt Robert Jordan shit fucking you're doing just did its thing.
Right.
So not just that but.
But yeah, Wheel of Time basically dropped and did really well for them.
So they've tripled down on all their adaptation discussions in the works.
Yeah.
And Mass Effect was one of the ones they've been one of the deals they've been working
on.
That is why noise of Mass Effect now.
Hey, I do have one thing to say about Wheel of Time despite the fact that I haven't seen
it.
You know how we were just getting annoyed by Game of Thrones cutting cool ass big shit.
Right.
I can't think of a book series that would be improved more than by cutting hundreds of
pages in a row.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like.
Fucking there are such long stretches of the Wheel of Time of people talking in a room
about political bullshit that it's like, man, you got to just go in the bad way because
they can do it because you can do that in a good way.
If you do that legend of the galactic heroes, then you're doing that the good way.
No, man.
No, you cut it.
You just cut it.
It's fine.
I'm telling you right now.
You don't need.
You don't need to cut to people who actually have read the books at least somewhat.
You don't need to cut to a lightsaber reaction shot of Ni'naev or however you pronounce her
name tugging on her fucking braid in every goddamn seed.
Okay.
Jordan was a verbose man.
You don't need it.
We got through token.
We can we can do this.
What you better not fucking cut is I hope Henry doesn't cower it out from some big old alien
sex.
I hope they fucking go in and I hope they film it in such a way where like you have to
kind of you have to you have to think about how the mechanics work of you know when the
SR are doing their shit.
Hey, what?
Hey, guess what?
What is you?
You could show me one screenshot of a set pick for the new Mass Effect show with Henry
Cavill and I would immediately go.
Okay.
Yeah, no, they're going to they're going to nail it.
And that's Henry Cavill playing anyone but a human being.
If he's playing a Turian or a Krogan or a Solarian fucking nailed it.
Great.
Good.
Excellent.
You know they're casting him for Shepard, dude.
You know they do if he has leading man jaw.
You don't cast a leading man jaw to not be Shepard.
That's what they're doing.
If the word so this is the opposite of that.
If the word Shepard is said aloud in that first trailer.
Oh, that thing's going to be complete garbage.
Oh, you bet.
You're fucking ass.
You're getting it alongside all your fucking and seven merch and it's good.
Like no and seven isn't specific to Shepard.
You can do anything.
Yeah, but you're getting not only Shepard but the characters that you know specifically
and care about.
That's a huge mistake in adaptation.
They would never do the do the cool guy move of making a story that takes place within
this universe.
The only character that I want to fucking see in this Mass Effect TV show that is an existing
character from the books is Blasto.
It's the only one.
See, I think the problem is that you need to take into consideration that Amazon wants
to get the thing that people know and the thing they know is the Shepard.
It's not about like, oh, let's push forward the best like a stab the best lore that'll
expand this world in an interesting way.
It's really did you not watch Mandalorian?
How long was it before a bunch of established Star Wars characters started showing up on
screen?
Well, that's but that's the difference I suppose between like with them doing it themselves
versus here where they're they're they're banging for a deal with Amazon Prime TV, right?
Hopefully, hopefully they do that.
But I'm not going to.
I certainly would set my expectations to fucking low that you're not going to just see people
doing the exact plot of Mass Effect One and two and such going into TV.
No, if they know if they here's my fucking pitch for a Mass Effect show, you ready for
a first contact war 70 years before the game takes place.
It's about the Turians and the first contact with the sounds awesome.
Sounds super cool.
It just seems extremely unlikely based on, you know, Shepard recognition money.
Yeah.
So there you go.
That's it.
We did it.
They should put me in charge of all these things.
Oh, I'm smart.
Now we're talking.
Lol Lamau is not an appropriate answer to when we ask you died at the end of the first episode
when we ask you what the hell is happening on set?
That's that's not going to work for the board.
I forget who I was talking to recently, but I'm like, man, the most frustrating thing
about being in this profession and dealing with all this media is that I have an excellent
ability to tell you that something sucks shit and why, but I have no replacement idea for you
ever.
I have nothing to give you.
I can tell you that you suck and that you should do something different.
And then when they go like what I go, I don't know, I'm not a writer.
I'm gone.
Welcome to the concept of fandom.
101.
All right.
That's it for us this week.
Let's take some letters.
Yeah.
If you want to send in a letter about how what sucks, but have no ideas of what to change,
send it to castle super beast at gmail.com.
No, castle super beast mail at gmail.com.
That's castle super beast mail at gmail.com.
Thank you very much.
Good catch.
This one's coming in from Mike and Mike says, dear salt master, woolly and orb man, Pat,
during your talk about darkest dungeon two, you mentioned how super popular mods can show
the problems with game design decisions.
Got me thinking about what games I would never recommend people play without mods because
the stock user experience has flaws that make it suck ass.
There are plenty of games where I recommend mods, but there's one where it's absolutely
miserable without modding it first.
Brain schemes, battle tech should never, ever, ever be played without mods, especially
if you have any kind of anxiety.
The game has one, no way to change difficulty without mods.
Two, an invisible 18% hard cap on the value of anything you sell.
Three, going from star system to star system costs time and money, a 45 minute long mission,
45 minute long missions where eight enemies will be on the field versus your set group
before.
Every mission will cause some damage to you and your unit's ability for your mech pilots
to be injured.
Mission payout, salvage, don't make up for the damage incurred.
Lots of dice rolls, some with modifiers that are not exposed to the player's stock UI,
grinding out the ass to get parts.
DLC locked behind completing the campaign in the stock version.
Melee centric units that suck ass because they're too close to the tabletop version
and it doesn't support proper implementation into the systems.
It just goes on and on and on.
And mission difficulty indicators that straight up lie are based on absurd bullshit, no way
to skip intro videos or anything for no reason.
Now people in our chat are disagreeing with this letter very strongly.
I hope you never play this game from my own goblins.
I have two games that are going to have no one arguing with me on them, totally uncontroversial.
Number one, Vampire of the Masquerade Bloodlines is an unplayable piece of shit without mods.
It is legitimately completely broken, top to bottom, even when I did play it with mods.
It was still goofy.
But it's a pretty good game with the mod fix.
And number two, if you start any game made by Bethesda, or on a Bethesda engine,
the first thing you're going to do is you hit that fucking tilde and you do player.addwait
or whatever the fuck it is to make your carry weight functionally infinite.
My answer is simply Kotor 2, because it's the difference between being worth your time to play and not.
Yep.
It's the difference between one of the best stories in this universe and nothing.
And just a real busted game.
Yep.
Alright, let's take it.
Player.modavcarryweight5000, that's what it is.
Thank you.
Meek says, hey Pat and Willie, someone reminded me about the MK11 ending where Jax goes back in time and solves slavery.
Seems weird that nobody else in MK did that.
I want to ask, what's your favorite non-canon or alternative ending?
That's pretty good.
That's a pretty good one.
Jax did solve slavery.
I'm going to go with the ones that happen, but the credits don't roll right afterwards,
because the people in charge were too scared to actually commit to their decisions.
So instead they just, what if you in the middle of the story?
We just talked about it, but Last Jedi, literally going in the middle of Last Jedi,
just going like, what is a really cool good ending?
Nope.
We just didn't do it.
No backing the fuck out of the climax of Last Jedi.
And you know what has exactly that same energy of like, okay, here's the thing,
but also no, we're not doing this.
And in this case it's also because they just wanted to fucking change what the franchise was.
Assassin's Creed III.
The ending of Assassin's Creed III where you get to the end of Desmond's story
is so fucking wild, because it shows you what they intended
or what they had an idea of what the story should be or become.
And then they go,
And then they just go,
No!
Nope.
And then nothing.
And then they just fart their way out of the room and hotbox you and lock the door.
And just like you're like,
You had enough fucking gall to show off what you thought you wanted to,
you were gonna like commit to,
but then you didn't have the balls to commit to it.
So then instead you said,
What if we committed to it? Wouldn't that be interesting?
Anyway, we're not doing that.
Just fucking around.
Grabbing by the dick.
Catch you later.
Got your nose.
Whoa.
I think piece the fuck out.
I think my favorite one of these.
Same shit.
Like pseudo alternates or what if endings is the Silent Hill joke endings dog,
because silent, silent.
No, specifically the UFO ones,
because the Silent Hill one, two and three UFO endings are canon within themselves.
Like connect to each other.
UFO ending is a sequel to the Silent Hill one UFO ending.
And the Silent Hill three UFO ending has Cheryl,
Heather meeting up with Harry and fucking James after they get abducted by UFOs.
And then the UFOs sing a fucking song.
That is great.
It's great.
And last one here from Peter.
Greetings, Patroclus and Patroclus the Coward and Willie Maximus.
Got a question that stems from something you said in an earlier episode.
You talked about the Book of Boba Fett.
You said it looked kind of cool, but you felt odd going from the Mandalorian where the helmet
was almost always odd to Book of Boba where even in the trailer the helmet is barely on half the time.
I get how it would be weird in a sense, but I had no problem with it for a specific reason.
Crazed Maori warrior death eyes.
I love the look of Berserk Fury and Temuera Morrison's eyes when he's beaten down some poor bastard.
Question is, have you ever had someone level a valid criticism but you tilt your head and go,
I get that, but this though.
That's a pretty good reason I'll take that.
All the time.
He's got the Pucana eyes and you know that energy I see it.
I can think of one.
Well, you go ahead because I can think of one and.
Oh, I can't think of shit, but I know that I do that all the time.
Like this sucks, but I go, yeah, but that that part's really cool.
That one thing though, right?
And here's what it is.
In a pre Metroid Dread World in a time when Samus was limited to the great games that we knew.
Team Ninja in other M added some combat backflips and evasion techniques that I thought were really cool that I wanted to see.
I like I like the little the little sprinkle of action mobility into that Metroid style system.
So I liked that you could do that stuff in combat in other M, despite the fact that the story is abysmal and everything else was just fucking terrible.
And I still say, yeah, but check out the backflip around the character counter hits, though.
I think there's a part where in other M, I think the part that sold you was like Samus does like a running bulldog to a lizard and shoots it in the face when it hits the ground.
That's exactly what she does.
That's like, man, that's really cool.
Like she running bulldogs it and goes, bam.
Like, damn it.
That fucking combat is sick.
Ah, so there you go.
Other M combat apologist.
Anyways, it's going to take a long time to get the stink of other M off you.
It's taken like 10 years to get the story off of you.
It'll be on my grave.
All right.
Hey, before we let you go, everybody, if you're watching this live on Monday, me page and play good to watch Star Trek later.
Okay.
So come on, come on down to that.
Um, piccardo.tv slash plague.
I think Reggie wants to watch the game awards this week, so we might do that.
Oh, fuck, is that this fucking week?
I think so.
And, uh, well, no, he kind of brought it up, but I want to throw him under the bus anyway.
So we might do that.
They're going to announce Bloodborne or some shit.
I don't know.
I don't usually like, as you know, doing these, but I might, we might do it.
So keep...
I think that was December 10th.
Is it not this week?
Is it, is it?
Yeah, I think it's next week.
Oh, okay.
All right.
Then we're too early on that.
All right.
Well, in that case, you know, birthday stream.
Take care, guys.
Bye.