Castle Super Beast - CSB 157: Stadian's End: Rise Of The LUNAtics
Episode Date: March 8, 2022Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Elden Speedrun Madness Begins Horizon UX Throwing Shade Stadiafan Wellness Check Gamer Hands You can watch us record the podcast live on tw...itch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://expressvpn.com/superbeast to get an extra 3 months FREE! -- Go to http://buyraycon.com/superbeast to get 15% off your order! -- Get 25% off and zero delivery fees on their first order of $15 or more, when you download the DoorDash app and enter code CASTLE. -- Go to http://hellofresh.com/superbeast16 and use code superbeast16 for up to 16 free meals and 3 free gifts! STAR WARS: ECLIPSE is reportedly now expected to release in 2027 or 2028 following difficulties hiring staff for the project Horzion devs are throwing shade at Elden Ring Amazon Luna has launched The House of the Dead: Remake launches April 7 Classic 3D platformer Glover coming to Steam on April 20 https://twitter.com/StoodUpOtomo/status/1500859499833270275 Sifu full Mandarin voice-over update now available Forspoken delayed to October 11 from May 24 Kirby and the Forgotten Land demo now available https://twitter.com/shinimomi/status/1500408619908546561
Transcript
Discussion (0)
decreasing
gap
on
th
what's going on
hey what's hey hey good afternoon woolly how you doing
what's up with Elden Ring am I right
it's it's everything it's everything what's up what's up with it yeah I'm
having a very weird experience because of how our are I'm playing through it and
like what's what I'm doing with the offline online stuff or should I say
live and and off stream I have wanted to talk to you about that for a while
okay I am fascinated by that whole fucking thing hold up a second just
gonna apparently when you turned me down prior to the thing I'm now very low so
you were too loud in my headphones for the for the thing the system so I'm
gonna turn you up in the actual stream and that'll be the counterbalance so
should be fine yeah usually what happens when I turn people down in
discord and all that I have to turn down my own headphones so unfortunately
again like something happened with the the discord update that just reset and
changed a bunch of call settings isn't that wonderful always a fan of that so
it wasn't Windows this time no it wasn't you're off the hook today Windows all
right there that should be better cool yes so basically there's a there's a no
win scenario in terms of like the length and the amount of time going into
this and like what we can expect the LP to be I know that I'm it's been made
well aware to me that I've been made well aware of the fact that it's like it's
super crazy long hyper turbo long game and the way that I play is it yeah so I
know that and I know the way that I play things as well is not gonna be
conducive to getting through it as quickly as possible and also there's the
fact that I'm you know doing it with Reggie and all kinds of other little
factors so the discussion the discussion eventually led to one where I was
like okay what I'll do is I'll just play offline and I'll avoid what are what I
think are obvious markers of like progress and then I'll just record locally
whatever I'm doing and then keep note whatever something cool happens
precisely and so that's what I've been doing and you know I've so far like for
example since the first time I did it it was like one day apart from the second
session so there was just a couple like maybe like two hours of just like
scrubbing through and being like here I saw this I did that right but now right
since the last time it was Thursday it's been quite a few days so that time
builds up so what I've been doing is it's still capturing and cropping it into
little moments but yeah there's a lot of like I found a cave I'll light the grace
at the entrance and not go in right and mark down that that is what you did
there's no comp so like your standard open world game would put a check mark or
like cross it out precisely so what I'm doing is I'm adding it to the favorites
list on the on the the map and then I now have a list of like here's a couple
caves I found but didn't enter and in the meantime on the way to the cave here's
what I found and I picked up an ash over here or I found a shop over there you
know and then a couple of them then there's like points of interest of just
like I saw this thing I don't know what it is but I've made a note of it and then
yeah that'll just be a little quick recap every time we sit down to play there's
there's so much though there is and I don't like it this is the this and I
think this is the most reasonable compromise for something that that has
no other solution outside of like you will it's either that or I'll just have
or like parts of the LPR missing right all right so I want to talk I want to
I want to get so I want to ask you a series of questions to figure out what
we're talking about okay here I just want to put forward that the explanation
about how about how this is working out though is currently fine yeah it's not
an issue so like as it is I think this is okay I'm not bringing this up in a
oh god it's what oh how do I fix this it's I think this what I'm doing works so
with that being said yeah so what is the absolute furthest point of let's say
excursion that you have made so far getting teleported I don't know what
you would consider like for this point okay basically you start in Limgrave and
your east is the ultimate shithole that is Caleb okay so here's a so I can tell
you the extremities I can tell you the extremities give me the give me an
extremity of borders yeah I have the borders and then I have the teleports so
there's there's there's the two teleports there's the two teleports one
teleport was into the the eastern forest right yeah that then I then took an
elevator down to another yes you did right right I walked was the other planet
yes and I walked forward in another world for a little bit I got out of that
first zone and then I got into a second zone and then I saw a dead carer booth
and I was like damn right yeah and then a bunch of a bunch of big like fucking
Zod the immortal motherfucker style horn dudes came at me and then I got zapped and
that was that right you you hung out in the under dark for a while I peaked I
peaked into that and to the under dark yeah sure what what may or may not be the
eternal city the eternal city okay no craw on the eternal city or something
like that then I went all right I've peaked so let me come back here I went
back and then get teleported again to the from the I got to the church of
America and then right I took the teleporter because when you're when
you're playing you're not you found that fucking thing not only did I find it when
you're playing a thing in LP format you're not allowed to deny content right
you know yeah no I'll come back to that teleporter later no you're not allowed
there isn't a there's a there's a couple thousand hands pushing you that say
no you must go so I took it and then while wound up in Brazil yeah so it's
funny that you mentioned that because you and Paige both found that thing on
your own I did not and that teleporter specifically it's really tucked away in
a little corner to the point where you get an NPC quest line and it is the
only NPC quest line that I have currently found in from soft history in
which the guy says I will mark it on your map okay and a red check mark for
its location appears on your map it gives me the feeling that things like that
exist tucked away for people who are gonna be new game-plusing this and
knowing exactly where they want to go immediately oh oh I can talk to you
about that in a few minutes I get the end of today I get the vibe I get the
vibe that like upon your second outing you're like get me straight to fucking
Antarctica and yeah they're also there and you're gonna serve as your double
Mario 3 whistle in particular that guy that teleport also serves to the NPC
that tells you how to get there you find him once you get an item that you would
trade in to the guy where you end up okay okay so it's like here's how you get
to essentially this merchant yeah so um so I went to Brazil and then I went all
right get me out of here and then and then this place is horrible right and
then I got to the round table and then as far as so I'm like all right back to
Lindgrave this is crazy and then as far as the actual Limgrave map goes I am
currently I peeked into the red sky zone up in the northeast that is Caleb yeah I
I saw the the first like church there I walked up to it an invader showed up and
I was like okay I'll let the grace and then that's as far as the northeast I've
gone on the western side I'm I didn't enter the gates right yeah okay and then
also there I found the bridge going across to storm something storm hell and
then and then it was guarded by the pumpkin head and so I lit the first
grace there and then yeah south same thing bridge to a zone that was guarded
by the I guess the trebuchet yeah it's guarded by like a bunch of dudes on that
bridge took out the bridge lit the first grace there so that's that's it
basically I have first grace in on each of these extremities and then but
Limgrave is as a whole like a chunk that's there so I have to say like there
are more of those teleporters around there's at least two in your immediate
vicinity that that will kick you to later parts of the game for either speed
run or terror purposes and they absolutely do feel like hey man you want
to get you want to just skip the trip all the way out here go ahead and go
ahead and do it they're great replacing mimics with I've teleported you far away
yeah is incredible I think I found another one and I just straight up dodged
it I think I think I what yeah yeah I opened up with one of that I opened up
a chest and some some gas came out and I just walked away from it I went no which
I thought you just said I thought you just said that you can't deny people
content this was not on stream ah wasn't where where was that in the in the
lake in the lake you definitely want to take that okay well either way I didn't
take it off stream but I know where it is and I made note of it so that we can
come back and visit so so like I'm I'm so I've been scraping and a couple things
to note one is I've never played a game where no matter hard I scrape I can't
scrape hard enough like I was looking up I was like you know I never got the the
cookbook that helps me make the item that cures this poison effect never got
it and I'm I'm done with the area in which I have to worry about that's that's
as effects that I'm like that's weird let me look up where it was oh it's right
there next to a grace yeah in seo for river it is 10 feet away yeah from the
grace in seo for river I literally just didn't look to the left I just I just
picked up a cookbook with some anti poison shit that I was looking for yeah
exactly yeah that's probably that's probably the one I'm talking about I
went and got it five minutes ago for me starting well one thing that I'm finding
to be like and like the first thing that I started caring about is okay so I'm
giving it I guess since this is being recorded the day before we actually like
sit down and recap all the stuff I've done off stream I'm like I guess I'm
giving a preview of what we're gonna be covering tomorrow but like off stream I
also prioritize like before walking into unknown places I prioritize cleaning up
things we've seen but left alone right right makes sense so one of those things
included taking that I'm just gonna call it a fucking pharaoh's lockstone because
that's what it is the gargoyle keys yeah yeah stabbing that into the area at the
beginning of the game and that's a fun zone that's a pretty fun spot right there
are a there's a lot of good stuff down there now there's a willing to do it
there's also some bullshit including a bug that I have captured on camera twice
where yeah when you run down past the little bladed machine by the way anyway
you run past down by the little bladed machine and then the little ambush
guys are appearing on the in the alcoves you kick one down and he teleports back
up onto the alcove with you and it's not an intended like magic teleport it is a
bug he just suddenly reappears up there no those guys teleport all over no no
no no no no no no not a teleport with sound and appearing that's what I'm
saying I know they teleport not that kind a bug style there is no graphic or
animation he just appears that's what I'm like that happened twice off on camera
now misses you right so there's the teleporting that's the intended game
he's spawning with the visual and sound effect and then there's this fucked up
like oh he just clipped like appears through the wall and here he is you know
did you did you get to the bottom of that place sure did found both fun
things okay cuz like the the the the biggest fun thing that I found down
there was like this game has a so it's it uses its open space incredibly well it
has the best like I don't want to do this right now I'll come back to it later
of any game I've ever played in my life uh-huh and its map is also incredible at
that because if you zoom in on the map and see any notary notable geometric
anything on the map you can look at and go I bet there's something there and
they're almost invariably always is mm-hmm but it also has the situation in
which I got to that thing within my first day of streaming okay so I went down
there starting like no but I once I right I looked at it I'm like okay I need
two of these when I have two of them I'll come back and I'll go do it so I went
all the way to the bottom ran all the way to the bottom oh Shrine of Marica cool
I'll be able to respawn in this spot past this boss door and then the game has
a really excellent way to tell you whether or not you should be there at
all and that is when you hit the boss so first of all does the boss instantly
kill you in one strike mm-hmm if the boss instantly kills you in one strike
okay maybe consider chill consider chill right yeah but the second of that is when
you hit the boss does the damage you do create a visible piece of yellow on the
boss see the damage you've done yeah because if you can yeah then you can and
I blew I want to say 90 minutes learning how to do that mm-hmm and was amply rewarded with
something I used for most of my playthrough uh-huh so was ooh it's good
so walked down there saw that and I'm taking that statue of Marica right
outside the spot the boss gate as a sign of difficulty indicator right it's a
good it's the game there's there's a couple there's the Shrine of Marica
symbol under your help and then there's the the little summon tombstone yeah like
this is these are the clues for what you're about to do you know it's like
alright got it walked in and as we had in you know on stream like a walked in
and what okay this is just a bit of a wall right now and I can see based on
what I'm swinging and how it's going that like it's a bit much but it's not
it's not unaccomplishable because on my best tries of which there were like two
I got it down to like half right yeah and I'm like and then it does its second
phase and then I was like oh okay exactly right and also shout outs to the
return of the from soft I cannot tell what the animation of this creature is
doing the the writhing and the things that make no sense because it's not a
person or even really it's just a it's a thing doesn't have four legs yeah it
doesn't it's just hard to read maybe 30 to 40 attempts to be able to be like
he's doing that he's doing that so off-camera which we'll which will we'll
be visiting next stream I went back down there about 90 minutes we do yeah
right oh it's it's but it's definitely not intended to be tackled in and but
comparison to its own region but here's the fucked up thing I had a literally a
run that was basically final pixel double ko esque and completely I didn't get it
I did I swung and got hit right and I was like okay but that shows me that
everything up to that point was the right attitude in the right approach and
then kept at it for another set and the one that counted was so fucked because
you know the so this I mean whatever we're just talking openly about this so
this is that this is the yeah what's it called don't worry dude the game no no
I know I'm trying to remember the name it's it's also rated also rated tree
spirit thank you so when the also rated tree spirit starts to activate its its
AOE and you're like well fuck me here we go the room is so small yep yep it
starts activating it and I'm like in the middle of what I feel to be is a
confident poise crush and I keep swinging and I actually get a crumple so it
starts the AOE interrupts it with the crumple and then I do the riposte and while
that is happening the AOE goes off anyway and something breaks so it it's
the it might it might have just been the wrong moment but the AOE was about to
pop off and then I he crumples out of it goes into the animation but the ground
says yeah the spell is already started so then it starts doing the fucking
whatever the ground electricity shit explosions anyway and then he rips a
rip he rips out of it and then the AI just snaps and the boss just stands there
yeah that's a win are you kidding me just that's a win complete unbelievable
fucking bullshit so oh anyway you'll see you'll see tomorrow but like it was like
I'm like I earned this I got him down there earned it absolutely I got him down there I
don't care but it was wildly like okay there are some there are some issues here and there are
some moments where the game doesn't like it if you interrupt you know and then yes the reward
for that is what appears to be a very nice ash that I don't have the mind for so I've now been
building my mind out so I used Oleg for six of the nine streams that I've done okay and he
carried me to wins that I did not deserve damn okay and I'm building I'm building for them
for that you have to commit though because the bill that the 20 mine for him you you
went with what class again I went with confessor so I've been going faith and strong arms what mine
did you start with I started with like 10 11 okay because yeah I started starting with 12
and I'm looking at it go up each time and I'm like oh boy it's gonna take a minute
you know so let's let's use this let's use this as a stop a jump off point to talk about
summons right because this is one of the game's big value ads and it's what I'm seeing a lot of
people talk about in the game both for and against I think the summoning thing that they
have added to this game might be the game's singular best feature after its open world and scale
it has completely completely replaced human beings with with boss attempts for me and that's
what if that's what summons are for you is like an agro draw then yes you completely have that that
summons replace it and furthermore also npc story quest summons right now yeah they're also still
there yeah but but these but these like personalized ones are yeah they they're a replacement for this
for the multiplayer I could I feel so I saw somebody completely nail it in chat they said
summons are not balanced at all and that's great and I will I will echo that statement summons
look like they were added into the game and literally never received one balance pass at all
okay huh the reason I say this is because the summons that you are summoning are not a unique
or designed thing they are existing enemy types that are just having their targets switched
to agro enemy instead of agro player right that's it either move section yeah no they are just
you are spawning in an enemy an enemy okay it just happens to be on your side every every every
single um summon that you get is an existing enemy somewhere okay right and you might not
have gotten to this point but you unlock an ability to upgrade them yeah you mentioned last time
they had their own upgrade path all the way to plus 10 and at plus 10 they in some cases are
stronger than you I have a I have a two summons right now that to those of you who have been
watching my streams are aware it's summons that you get from the Ronnie quest line and they can
absolutely kill bosses by themselves Jesus but they require significant investment the summon
that I'm using right now requires 162 fp to summon wow can you can you use items to like
buff your fp there are a couple but you pretty much want to if you're going to be a caster you
might as well build you right um you and the thing that I have with 162 fp I've had it fight
enemies and fight bosses by itself wow and win and on that is in addition to that you upgrade them
but in addition to that if you have buffs that affect you like I'm going faith so there's stuff
like sacred vow and it's like buffs allies all summons are allies okay yeah summons are allies
like here's a 10 here's a 10 percent damage buff wow and it's it's not balanced at all and I don't
care because call Tarkus whenever you want parts of the game are also not balanced at all against you
hmm so it's it's fine it's fine it's a word about it yeah I mean yeah anytime I'm wandering
is incredible anytime I'm wandering the overworld and I see that stat the the fucking summon sigil
pop up I'm like okay I'm fucking tiptoeing I'm tiptoeing because I don't know what's coming here
you know that being said though can I just point out um that multiple times I've had unnecessary
clenches whenever uh specifically like fighting that tree where like a big old attack will pop off
and I'll roll the correct way do the correct dodge but I'll hear the sound of one of my wolves dying
and I'll be like yeah and it's totally fine that that death sound has gotten me a couple times
yeah no it's the same thing with the horse when the horse gets blasted and dies there's it plays
the death sound effect um but yeah uh I I have gone I've gone real deep on this uh so the area
past uh godric is called liarnia it's the area we saw in the the previews that has the big castle
with the lake um I don't think I remember the area the area to the east of limb grave is called
caled and the area that you were in that you refer to as brazil is above caled yeah the the grace I
touched to drop that yeah cleared all of that 100 right and I am just now starting on the area of the
game north of liarnia and I have found I have found what might be the this is easily the most
non-linear game of its genre ever made um I have found
four different ways to get to the zone where the capital is
including one that just teleports you straight there and skips like two zones entirely
um it just just you just go you just go if you want to just go you just go go you just go
I'm um something I'm I I guess I don't fully understand yet is um the torrent life bar
right there are consumables that you can craft to feed to ignore those if he dies he'll just use
a crimson tear that's what I was thinking that's what I was thinking and my that when I read the
description of that I was like why wouldn't I just use a flask um uh but uh there was then I
read some some the comments about like uh like this you're missing out on something I'm misunderstanding
something about that and that it's a really good thing to feed torrent or something but I just I
was like I just use an estus flask and we'll be fine right yeah but anyway okay I just want to
confirm that because there are some times where you you don't get touched you get clipped but the
horse takes all the damage you know yeah and weird that's a hitbox thing it is it is weird um
but uh yeah and then also exactly like if you take a sip like the horse also heals up a little bit
so anyway all right just just I was just wondering so let me ask you oh okay I was gonna say when
we're talking about um about looking for things or whatever for me uh one thing that was uh the when
I started I started actually paying attention to my crafting when I needed to start doing um uh um
whatever flame paper right yeah and and flame grease it's called a grease grease yes true
and so I built a couple and then I was like okay great I have enough and then of course
on the runs where it matters basically I kind of created a system where I was like if I can get
the the boss into its first repost I'll then light the fire up you know yeah and then you then
smash them to pieces and go go to go to town with it so then I was like great I used a bunch of my
fire uh on that where let's go find some more and it says okay you can find resin root at the base
of trees and I'm like cool and I'm running past the base of every tree off screen for hours now
and I'm only picking up rona fruit and I'm like what the fuck do you mean it's at the base of trees
I literally have not picked up a single one so I'm like okay these descriptions of where to find them
are gonna they leave a little bit to be desired you know yeah I then and then and then what you do
is you type in uh elden ring yeah yeah yeah resin yeah and you find out that the area that is farming
for that is further away than you're you're actually able to go so yeah um but I did go to
like an urge tree and I walked around or the minor urge tree and I walked around it in the forest
and there was none there either and I was like okay well no no no more crafting for me then
this is this is like so the wiki actually I just checked it says can be found in limb grave
not very helpful fuck off so what you what you would do is you would load up your social media
or you would contact somebody who you know is farther in the game yeah and be like bro I can't
find root resin where do I find root resin so I I was trying to dodge like again videos and things
I was and but I when I did a quick a cheeky little google did show that it's like there's an
area that is past the storm gate so I was like all right well fuck it then if it's past the gate
I'll just I'll ignore for now basically there's the reason why you have the little herb symbol
that you can slap down on your map is so that like there's an area in storm hill where there's
like a little fireplace next to a great grace that has like 10 smoldering butterflies just hanging
out oh and and they'll just pop every time you sit down there okay so if you want to take like
literally 120 seconds you can get like 40 or 50 of them and then just sit on that so that's
you were that's where you drop that icon yeah there's also an area to the very south of mistwood
where you can get a lot of blood roses which is where you would get the bleed uh craftable item
okay yeah I haven't fucked with that yet so the reason I mentioned I'm glad I was able to figure
out a way to mention bleed have you fucked with bleed in this game at all I'm using the um the
sword that um uh the hound from the Everett Darrow Darrow Hill's uh bloodhound sword yes I'm
using a bloodhound blade and it is pretty nice so this is easily as somebody who's gone through a
lot of the game uh and seen a lot of what it has to offer in terms of like stuff like miracles and
sorceries and these things they finally totally nailed status effects for you in your favor this
time bleed bleed the reason why bleed does so much damage is that it's percentile
mm-hmm uh it it does somewhere between 18 to 25 percent of anything's health no matter how high
that health is yes um and I've noticed that uh there's a fantastic combo that I'm getting
because basically uh now that I have that blade I popped I popped my my on my decks up a bit
and then I put my um staff in the other hand and I got my I found the sorcery trainer
so now I've got a glint blade in one hand and the blood blade in the other and we're
just we're having fun we're flipping around and uh what's happening um is a combo is being stacked
up where uh I get a crumple and then repost and then come right back in with a couple of hits
and then the bleed pops as well so explode so there's a like the fight is the first half of
their life bar and then the second half is like and now you cash out yeah it's so awesome all of the
statuses you can inflict on enemies are good poisons a little bit weaker a little bit on the
lower side uh but frost is excellent frost is absolutely excellent it slows them and you they
also take more damage when they're frosted okay in addition to have a burst I only I only encountered
one frost status so far and that was jumping over the balcony at the round table yeah uh and then
that fucker came in and was frosting me up and I was like oh that's uh that's an interesting status
yeah so um and it was both there's that plus bleed I think at the same time um yeah it's uh so so
there and I'm assuming that there's gonna be you know of course some some consumables to like put
that on whatever as well um yeah you can you you can find a a art of war that just lets you put frost
on your shit and so there and here's the other thing I lit my my bleed which my blade which has
a bleed status on it I lit it on fire so you're getting both so now like those things don't have
restrictions like they used to you could put anything on anything no uh the the rule is if your weapon
does one damage type you can add a second oh okay okay up to two so what so I'm going faith so a lot
of my weapons already deal with holy holy damage yeah I can't buff those gotcha but let me tell you
a secret about your bleed weapon did you know that you can take your bleed weapon and put blood
grease on it to do double the bleed I was about to say so when you're mentioning these roses I'm
thinking yeah stack that shit up right yeah okay fire you're bleeding dudes in like two hits sick
that is really sick now bleed does have diminishing returns every time you bleed something it takes
longer to bleed the next time to build it up but like it's it's it's good I'm seeing the benefits
I saw the benefits on that tree and I saw the benefits on those um land octopus uh you know
like I like you just you get that that nice crunch on the back half of their life bar yeah
it's a crunch mm-hmm that the hemorrhage pop feels like a crunch it's a crunch um so because
you're going faith um yep did you grab those fucking protoss slashers the the uh the the
cipher patas literally zealot blades uh so those things the the the wolverine for Jesus weapons
they require really high faith investments this one's for you god they are they are a great slower
backup weapon they're legitimately very good and the weapon art which is just like a a stab mm-hmm
it being completely unblockable and very fast makes it extremely helpful to kill other people with
that picking that up and two-handing it was the first thing that made me go
faith huh yeah oh they they did faith real nice in this one how about now granted that's the first
weapon I have sorcery has an absolutely stupid amount of spells a lot of them are bad a lot
of them are incredible throwing meteors at people there is what I can only describe as a command
oh I've seen that's what I'm that's what I want I've seen that's what actually made me
like that's the that's the thing that I saw the enchanted knight do and I was like okay yeah put
me there's the the glint stone sorcery the sorry the glint blade sorceries are all really cool
but uh just faith actually got a lot of good stuff and arcane also got a lot of good stuff
so arcane is like was originally very poorly understood when the game came out
because what would happen is you would put like you find the ability to put blood as a status on
your weapon instead of quality or sacred it would be blood but as you put your arcane up
the damage would not increase so people thought what's up with this what it does is as your arcane
goes up the status build up increases instead so you take a long sword that starts with 50 blood
build up and you pump arcane to 45 and now it's doing like 95 blood build up per swing okay
right um I'm already I'm already uh wavering and probably like now that now that there's
no weapon durability I think decks might yield me some results that I wanted the previous games
to have because oh there's like I my thing has always been these decks weapons are cool but
fuck this durability you know so um intelligence decks has like
eight weapons that are built for it very specifically okay that are all excellent
yeah I'm thinking I'm thinking that I'm about that route and in particular you get into these
great situations where let's look at moon veil right moon veil is the the meme katana you've been
seeing around it lets you do judgment cuts and dimension slashes it is an intelligence katana
I don't think I've seen it in action but I do I did see a meme I sent you a clip oh yeah okay okay
okay and I did see a meme of a bunch of gray faces all going so I specced into me into moon veil
it's pretty awesome so it's like okay everybody's using it as the enchanted great curved sword
but the other thing that's great is that the rapiers and uh and uchis that are for dex int
also have just a native background bleed proc on them okay it's 50 so you're gonna get one
at some point so is it it's excellent so I guess then because again remember the um demon souls
adjudicator shields uh uh enchanted yeah and then curved sword right magic whatever
yeah so the the you had the enchanted sword but then you switched to the sacred long sword which
also healed you okay and it's just like this is this is what a demon souls character looks like
so I've seen a couple folks running around and I was like oh yeah I guess since that awesome
blood blade is nice and early a bunch of people get it quick so I've seen a couple ghosts with it
and um after seeing that meme I guess this moon veil thing is the yeah it's currently the go to
intelligence meme weapon it's the go to okay okay um so there's all that and then I was really
genuinely surprised to see so you you did you kill a dragon at any point no okay so when you kill a
dragon you'll get a heart right and the heart is your shop currency for dragon spells yeah they're
completely mentioned last time that's how you got the spell yeah they're they're they're their own
tree and they require a little bit of faith and a little bit of arcane um they are absolutely
fucking stupid incredible and in particular one of them lets you put a uh I'm gonna call it toxic
because I don't think you've encountered the actual name of it in game instead of poison yeah no I um
shit there was something well it's listed as a part of um remember the folder names right
like there's like of the resistances the first one is a category that includes toxic uh plot
or includes poison plus something else and it's like a it would be it would be it would be called
rot rot yes I yes exactly rot I have gotten rot resistant stuff so uh scarlet rot is what I'm
gonna label as toxic I think there might be an actual toxic status but for all intents and purposes
it's super poison um and you can cast that on bosses and it works it works on every boss I have
fought except for two and it will put a 50 damage per tick poison effect that lasts for like three
and a half minutes on any boss you want to put on it I mean I'm assuming that all of these bosses
of the fucking you know dozens and dozens are each outfitted with proper weaknesses towards
specific things and resistance yeah here's the here's the weaknesses uh everything that you could
consider alive at all is weak to bleed and rot things that made look like they're entirely out of
rocks they're not gonna be weak maybe they won't bleed maybe they won't rot but that only thought
that only factors into like three or four or five bosses that I fought in total um and the
combination of those two status effects has led to the ability to kill shit way above your fucking
pay grade interesting there is a there is a boss that I fought down in the pit of some tower
that I would hit it with my sword and I got just the barest tinge of damage just the tiniest
tinge and I beat it by putting rot on it and running from it and throwing lightning bolts when I
was across the room as the lightning and the the damage ticks just brought it all the way down to
zero okay what's the intel on parrying bosses it's uh so what how's how's what what weapon you got
in your hand right now it's it's it's a bloodhound bloodhound in my right um I got my my staff in
my left and I switched to um a decent shield I forget the one so parrying bosses uh does work
um on a lot of them but it's not worth it because it's so dangerous okay it's a possibility it is
there is in in yeah like you've seen market you can parry market right so certain attacks on
certain things not but but certainly not like a universal yeah okay um but uh it's usually a
hell a lot more cost effective that instead of parrying them just jump attack them oh yeah no
I just for the sake of feeling cool yeah for the flex I just want to know that it's a thing that
can happen you know yeah um how how's your experience been in posture breaking bosses
well literally I remember um so the moment that I truly discovered jump bar two was against that
the dude in the um the the invader in the in the round table right that you jump the balcony
he doesn't know he doesn't know how to at all and I was like oh this is the this is the way um
that's what really cemented in just how effective that is because it's at the bare minimum on him
a guaranteed stagger a guaranteed interrupt of whatever he's doing as long as you time it properly
and if you and that and the and the enemy both are in the air and you anti air them
they drop to the ground oh yeah so you get a full knock down and you can set up some wake up you
know so if you fought any of those trolls those really big ugly guys the gray ones with the
lack of guts um I was fucking around with this and I noticed that like enemies always have a
lot of sweeps in these games right a lot of full let's say 270 degree sweeps around their character
body a lot of them in this game tend to be really really low to the ground yep secular like
suspiciously low to the ground absolute secular and you could absolutely hop them you can hop
ground pounds you can hop sweeps the uh the tree um the big tail swipe that's how I was oh yeah
yeah yeah save your stamina get right over that thing you know I feel like
so like there's the map which is the most intense map I've ever seen especially because of how it
lies to you now that you've been playing for a while you now understand the the power of the maps
size increasing as you explore instead of most games that just show you the whole map right away
in this one you teleport somewhere and then the map just doubles in size horizontally yeah so I
have to confess like I do I did kind of expect given what I hear and looking at the size of the
map when you pull it up I expected that x y axis expansion the z axis is what fucked me up
it'll get you that's the damage that's the real damage as somebody who I I believe I have explored
all of the underground there is so much more underground than it even appears
there's a lot of underground underground yeah I just there's in particular there's one moment
of the underground I remember in which I hit one of those big elevators and I'm like oh finally
and it started to go down yeah yeah like like the and it the and it's like a fucking three
minute ride it feels like I mean just like the lazy way that games would do that well it's not
lazy but it's the rather the asset conserving way is to walk into the shadow realm you know
and it's like no how about just more and it's different and it's just over very different
and it ain't the same thing you're like fuck off yeah fine you know I just like every part there
are some obvious minor complaints it still has the occasional lock-on problems I've run into a couple
bosses that have been reused but honestly it doesn't really bother me there's a couple weapons
that are bugged there's a couple armor pieces that are so bugged they show an invisible chest
when you put them on oh boy like little little minor things but all in all like
I have like I've been so thrilled to look at the map and go huh what's that and go over there and
there was a thing there what also over and over and over and over and over what's been encouraging to
from the the vibe I've been getting is like don't worry about making a bad build numerically
you're gonna get time to steer wherever you want to go you you would have to because of the ash
of war system right if you're using a normal weapon that you can upgrade with normal shit
and put an ash of war on right even if you botch it you'll be able to switch it to a different
damage type to get past the thing that you're dealing and then you'll eventually just unlock
respect that's really exactly and then between that and the ability to get respect that's very
um I'm very happy to hear that because like it also you know cuts down on like that massive regret
you might get from realizing something's wrong with the builder and you're locked in it's a certain
point or you know even I'd say to some degree the amount of back seating you're gonna get about like
how your your your number placement is going like I'm oh the back seating on this one is
is it's really funny it's depending on your audience right it's strength weapons are broken
dex weapons are broken spells are broken faith is broken arcane builds are broken bleed is broken
rod is broken having too much health is broken etc whatever you manage to make work is broken
deprived parry oh uh buckler only it's broken uh it kind of it and to a degree honestly it kind
of is like it it kind of feels like this is the marvel of from soft games in which you can just
you could do so much we threw it all together stupid shit
like the blood slash move costs like 10 hp to cast and it does like
five or six swings worth of damage and it's this giant like mortal blade arc
like it's super good but because you want these cool things to like the temptation to ignore my my
fucking hp and not build it up at all is high because i want to do cool things more than i want
to be less squishy my vigor is gonna fucking sit there man i spent out of eight streams i want to
say i spent five and a half at 15 health and i got to a point around the end of stream too where
every boss would kill me every time in one hit uh health gives you a lot of health per point in this
game okay it gives you a lot it's just like you want like don't make me like you're making me
choose between doing cool things and taking more damage it's like i'm always gonna want to lean
towards the so woolly i will send you but i know i know and i know that i need to worry about that
and i am concerned i will send you a document i highly suggest that you bookmark this this is an
exhaustive tested faq about where the stat breakpoints actually are oh that's nice okay because
and here's the other thing um and you know pretty good idea here shout outs to plague um he popped
a he made a thread on twitter that was like hey people that are in the end game um what are your
spoiler free build regrets right and i did see uh some people going yeah didn't give myself enough
life and then paid for it later it's the number one easy so i'm like right on i will keep that in
mind also i'll give you a tip uh if you find the skill barricade for shields think strongly about
using a shield because barricade increases like the the guard reduction like how much stamina health
you take on a hit it increases it by like four or five hundred percent so all of a sudden a medium
shield can take like an entire boss combo no problem that's fucking sick on great shields
it makes the stamina loss on block zero damn zero okay i mean look um shielding because of the
fucking counter mechanic already is i'm enticed to always have one on me um so it's i'm just my
end thing is just gonna be mixing and matching whatever is fun you know for some enemies i'm
gonna be going for that for others i'm gonna be just you know spell sorting and i'll just i'll
just you know i want to make sure i have uh i have the equip load to just switch to something fun
i've uh respect five times i still i'm still sitting on seven respect items damn there's
there's a ton of them there's there's there there looks like there's 15 or such in the game
sick like it's it's it's no problem um and one of the most exciting things to me
is that the optimization process has started
um the optimization process has been enabled by the bleed effect
um and the current thing that you can manage is you can start your game and then rush your
ass to torrent get torrent go get what's called a gold pickled foul foot which is the get more
souls item i've gotten a couple of those yeah go get a bleed weapon any bleed weapon will do
then get your ass to brazil as you called it and find a big enemy there that you just happened to
be able to beat on without being able to turn around
just you can't turn around to hit you so just beat on its asshole for
10 minutes get 94 000 runes jesus immediately level up to uh level 34 run to the merchant that
sells you upgrade materials because there's nothing that stops you there's nothing that stops you
get a unique weapon to plus five kill market in 28 seconds i put up a twitter video of it
run through get godric use an npc quest line that only activates after killing godric to teleport
to an end game area then use a bow trick to knock a high level enemy off of platform and he gives
you 13 000 souls per 10 seconds and then you get five million runes an hour
you can level your character up to 120 what are we doing here why what is this
then you use the secret teleport to get past the second thing and go to the end so
look man if you're doing this to create to if you're doing this because your goal is to create
a fast forward pvp build and then you just want a pvp with your boys or whatever yeah then fine
what the fuck else is going on i don't know but like jesus man that is so the the so there's two
parts to this right the first part is the part that i said at the beginning use the bleed weapon
to get yourself to level 34 right away there's a really straight up reason for that a lot of the
cool ass weapons that people want to use for their playthrough like let's take moon veil right moon
veil is a really good example nobody has the stats to start using that at start of game it requires
12 strength 18 decks and 23 intelligence nobody has the stats to do it right but if you do this
you get just enough to put it on and start using it right in hour one okay and that's why that's why
that trick has become so popular at the very beginning to get to level 35 because it makes it so
i want to use the tree knight halberd i want to use the moon veil katana i want to use this blood
you know whatever but i can't because it's minimum requirements are too high okay the other one
is i want to break this shit super hard or in a position where i'm at where i'm level i started
at a level 115 and i'm killing and i'm killing bosses that give me one tenth of a level up
because i explored everywhere and i'm like but i want to get faith up to 45 i want to get this
up to the so then you do that and now i now my character is done i can go beat the second half
of the game with a what i'm going to refer to as a complete character uh when you use weapon arts
that are like a projectile for example like the one that say it like holy drive right yeah there's
a lot of really good projectile weapon arts yeah so those things when you're on your last swing
of your fp it goes away but if you're doing stuff that is like a particular attack let's say the
backflip with the blood blade um yeah it still does it yeah it'll lose it's it'll lose its special
properties okay so that's what i was going to say right so the the the flip that you're you're
dealing with with the the bloodhound sword it has special properties i think it has like
fancy invincibility and extra bleed on it that goes away uh that that goes away but the actual
movement retains okay just want to confirm because i'm like yeah i would imagine you lose something
right so i'm at i'm about uh 88 hours in and i'm at 80 hours on stream ish
and i feel confident that i have hit the halfway mark
and with scraping yeah and then i but i still miss stuff i was talking to somebody the other day
and i'm like oh they're like man freeze is so busted like that's weird i never found anything
that did freeze and they're like what are you talking about this lake right next to this building
that you were in all the time there's a little scarab that drops a freeze move called whore frost
stomp that can go on any weapon and just does gigantic freeze procs that you can use to cheese
all sorts of bullshit so i also i'm getting the vibe that um like ashes are the uh the fucking
assassins creed two feathers of this game right they're everywhere everywhere a lot of them are
really good like just nonsense things you encounter footsteps on the beach you know footsteps on the
beach uh uh the scarabs unique enemies yeah just wildly just they're they're littered throughout
the fucking game it feels like so far um those are your those are your those are your collectibles if
you would uh but uh it's one of those things where i'm like okay test looks cool probably going back
to the one i like though you know yeah there's a there's a there's a lot of good weapons
in the game like it has it has the most amount of oh dude i want to use that in a different run
weapons of any of these games i've ever played have you been using the i'm gonna call it while
rising attacks because that's what they are like tech ed while rising light while rising heavy from
crouch um those attacks were not properly balanced so uh i had a great sword for a while that i was
using he was using a big faith great sword and uh you probably realized that what you can do is
click in on the left stick and immediately hit r1 and you will do uh the while rising attack yeah
yeah um and on ultra great swords that's a stab to the absolute maximum length of the weapon
and it's really fast and because you're using an ultra great sword it does stagger so on certain
human type enemies i was able to for 40 seconds just completely stun lock stun lock by just poking
them in the in the in the dick over and over and over okay okay um there's a just whatever you're
doing yeah yeah there's a way to do it really good i mean i just the fact that i put on two daggers
and two i put on two of the of weapon types and i'm just like oh right power dancing is free
it's just yeah just have to have two and they're yours and now do a jumping or or running yeah jumping
l1 double slow yeah l1 double slash you're like damn hey man you want you want to do some shit
put a second bleed weapon on your left hand just i thought i thought a guy i thought a guy in pvp
that um had double reduvias the fucking the blood dagger i was gonna say the blood dagger
that i got yeah yeah yeah um and i went near him and i swung and i just exploded
uh shit i just blew up and i can you hold on a second can you like i ran double scythe
i ran double holy scythe for 10 hours and it was awesome it works really well
can you coat uh with while you're dual wielding like by just like pulling up your quick venue
will that work uh yeah 100 yeah i guess you put it on your quick item bar yeah okay the other game
also uh you know the you know the faith spells that would like my lightning my weapons lightning
now my weapons blood now yeah it's fire now uh those require like shit for investment you need
12 faith to do those and i think that you you said you were using the magic one what do you need
like 12 intelligence uh the uh wait wait to do to mad to do magic sword basically oh yes it was
like no i think it was like it's 14 or so like it's like nothing yeah and which means that if you're
running like even a strength build yeah put just a little little tiny point to get the fucking buff
and here's what's fucking sick right swing swing swing all my stamina is gone
fp swing costs no stamina so on it depends depends okay so the one i'm using that i got from the
sorcery trainer every time you do the the the glit blade it doesn't have a stamina cost okay
that's good so every when i'm depleted you just go more like back the fuck up extra damage in
if you want to edge it out you know that is awesome you want to hear something really good
okay so summon swords is in the game what used to be homing crystal soul mass is now
some of the floating swords yeah there's two versions there's the spell version which is kind
of bad and then there's the one you can put on your weapon oh the weapon becomes the focus and
that thing is so busted because it does each of the swords does like as much posture damage
as like an r2 okay okay so i used the unupgraded version of it and i went and tested out on the
trolls and two casts knocks the trolls on their face damn okay but then but then you use the item
you use the item that decreases the amount of fp your weapon arts takes
25 percent okay then you get the item that gives you fp back on crit so then you toss out
summon swords and it puts somebody into a posture break and then you stab them and then you get it
back yeah okay okay yeah honestly i i it's really fun that like there's alternate versions of
spells essentially like you can do the non-int requiring version of an ability if you if you
have ashes like that's a really fun way to play through the game if you don't oh yes you know if
you're not playing in cast tons of cool shit that's really dope um you you've i've also found
like you get what's called a a wet blade i think you get one at the very beginning that lets you
put ashes of war on but you start to get you start to get more of those and so you get to the point
where uh you you put on an ash and you get to choose i want keen heavy quality sacred blood poison
fire lightning ice etc so even within the same move you can pick depending and what i found is
that like i rose i was fighting something i forget what it was but uh oh it's the ulcerated tree spirit
and my weapon did holy damage which sucks because that's the native power of the ulcerated tree
spirit which is why switch to bleed but every now and then you'll run into like oh this one's
really strong against frost that's fine just move it to fucking fire like that put it back in
and change it yeah okay and then afterwards put it back to freeze um like it's it's so
like there's a couple things i'd like to see buffed and maybe one or two things i'd like to
see nerfed like there's a there's a there's a build right now out there that you do petrification
status on people by being physically close to them okay and so you literally just roll at them
and they explode and die that could use a nerf yeah i also saw like i might just become darth mal for
a minute um picked up a twin blade video picked up a twin blade and then like i'm spinning it around
and then yeah there's a little thing of like oh by the way you can just make that a lightsaber
like oh shit yeah maybe you do that yeah yeah yeah so no fun options fun options are are possible um
yeah yeah i'm it's you know i don't know if you saw on the social media but uh there was this
thread that people have been passing around where the user experience designer of battlefield
and the quest designer for horizon well that was on the docket but sure okay but they're getting real
salty yeah about all this being success it's really embarrassing and unprofessional and it
here's the thing like it's not their fault that horizons timing was terrible and that the twice
the studio fucks them over or rather the publishers fucking them over with this horrible
release timing it's not their fault but this is the wrong reaction yeah and especially like let's
take the quest designer in particular it's like the biggest problem here is that horizon came out
twice now immediately followed by games that went the open world formula is really stale
and it's a checklist and it's boring what if they're what if the open world part of it
was actually just go do fucking whatever man hmm what if it was that and turns out people like that
now they they there wasn't uh a giant like multi-part thread where they broke down the
the grievances but but it was just a bit of a bit of a snipe from the side you know and it's like
it will take your word for it but not really because we probably know what's going on between
the relationship of these two games and furthermore of course is your ubi presents elden ring screenshot
where there's a bunch of other shit in there um which you know to be fair uh uh some people
have said like it hasn't been like this in a long time you know um except if you look at a photo of
horizon actually looks just like that is that what's going on okay yeah that that's that's one of the
reason that that popped up and it's like the the comparison between horizon and uh elden ring in
particular is really interesting because it's a focus of where like resources went so i don't
i don't know if i brought this example up to you or i was talking to page but if stop me if you've
heard it before in horizon i thought it was genuinely interesting that when i went and
did a side quest i got a side quest from a guy and it was uniquely voice acted the part where she
reminds herself what to do afterwards you go near a cave and she reminds you hey oh that's the cave
and then you go back to town like oh i should turn that thing in yeah and that's from like a
far away perspective that's cool i like i like that but just don't keep don't keep playing it over
and over and over it like but at the same time it's like i'm so sick of characters that won't shut
their fucking mouth right right right i understand you got a professional voice actor and you you
spent all this time on all these cutscenes for every single fucking thing in the whole game
and that's cool but i'm just letting you know that i don't actually give a fucking shit about any
of that stuff now as someone who hasn't played uncharted i missed out on what seems to be
the largest examples of this is what i oh boy did you yeah well you played last of us one right
yeah okay imagine if ellie didn't exist but there was still the same amount of dialogue right just
to yourself yeah exactly right that that's the average open world characters uh thing and it's
like i would rather like two extra dungeons with the amount of time that you you spent talking to
look at monster hunter look how look how stupid and pointless the story in monster hunter is
and how little anyone gives a goddamn shit and what a waste of time it is do you know what i need
monster hunter i need a text crawl that says that i'm gonna go kill a teagrex because it's keeping
some dude's wife up at night when it's screaming two towns over and that's why the dude needs its
skull i need the barest minimum context possible to go fight a teagrex
yeah hey man why am i why are you gonna go into that nightmare poison pit fucking swamp
shithole i don't know maybe there's something cool in it that's good enough i do feel that this war
of like eastern and western game design philosophies has been always and it's been in the background
for at least three generations now um and like admittedly uh some in-office conversations with
like dabs programmers and people that like do this stuff can get very fart sniffing they can get
very high and mighty oh please tell me more i mean just there is tell me what it smells like
basically like there are times when uh let's just say um me and or friends of mine
might have been playing certain japanese games at lunchtime and certain you know like
programmers devs and such would walk over and kind of openly criticize what they think is
some bad design decisions or like confusing implementation of things um but for some reason
we were all loving it and it was really cool and interesting and um and it's one of these
things where like in this particular case like the person then that was criticizing and like having
this this this talking shit about like the design was then later on on their own booting the game
up in the cafeteria to look more at what this game was doing and kind of figure it out and was
like oh okay and kind of like you know uh uh quote unquote got caught going back to look at it and
and and whatever but either way the the the main thing is that this this this this kind of little
philosophy war that happens between the the schools of thought is often decided when
you see how the games sell right like at the end of the day there's something that says like
there's well there's just a thing of like okay but something is clearly landing um with a game that
is telling you a little bit less here and people are still enjoying it and they're still willing
to go all in on this you know like maybe it's not as big of a deal as you think it is and it's not
to say that it like these features are not always helpful but to die on the hill that says you must
include these things and anything that doesn't include it is just doing a bad job of of yeah
communicating their game properly to their audience is like well um it it I don't think
the success of these games has proven that to be the case there's a there's two ways to look at this
the first way is um there was like a five-year period during the height of Japanese games are
just bad and from like the early tens that I kept seeing this fucking um this fucking design maxim
trotted out and it made me fucking bug-eyed where you'd see articles being written like
why does this game still have boss fights by boss fights are just old-fashioned bad design there's
no reason to have them in your game etc and just like bug-eyed like what are you talking about
oh it's because uncharted it has terrible boss fights like that that's literally what it is um
but the second one is I don't know if you saw Gene was talking about it on on twitter but he
made a fantastic point that'd be Gene Park from Wapo but he basically says to look at Elden Ring
as this is a misquote paraphrase so go check out his twitter he's cool anyway um but looking at
design as like the perfection of the ultimate perfect design formula is like a terrible idea
and to use he said that if Elden Ring had been shown off right now and the Souls series didn't
exist it would have been panned by every focus group you could throw it at it would be not picked
up just like Demon Souls was Demon Souls like Yoshida fucking was like this shit's trash we don't
want to publish it the fucking that owned from software was like fucking whatever Miyazaki just
do whatever with this crap sucks and it was only because a couple people over at Atlas were like
no no there's something here and then that year at one game spots game of the year but was still
widely reviled by everyone including me I fucking hated Demon Souls for like eight months because
it was fucking stupid and awful and had all this bullshit in it but underneath all that stupid shit
there was this unique thing that only it has and now we're all the way over here yeah like
so the game that was uh being shit on uh in the calf that one time just happened to be a little
something called vanquish yeah yeah I remember the story yeah you know what I mean oh vanquish
ah that game's trash uh whatever just so that's exactly it is yeah there's just a very easily
completely misunderstood thing you know and then that might lead to um some anger frustration or
just some lash outs that was when it's like why do people like this what is it that was I that
wasn't just your workplace story there was a lot of people that I saw be like this vanquish game is
is bad because this and it's like it feels the best of any shooter in like 15 years I mean so this
and it always just goes back to the god hand story right it always just goes back oh yeah no just
teleport back in time go read that fucking review and then go read my oh dude the god hand i g n
review being 3.0 and just lambasting the whole thing is one thing but then the editor's note
that describes how everyone in the office hated it and they all thought it was the worst game ever
and it's like that's just the cherry on top like oh no one in your whole office at the time had any
taste at all yeah so it just your it is true that like in a world that didn't have a build-up of
prior from soft recent titles to to prepare for Elden Ring and what it is it would have absolutely
been panned for these decisions um but I don't I just think that like if you're coming at your
designs and going and thinking that like every game should have these things and it's a must
it's like coming at film saying every film must include these types of devices the types of scores
this type of direction and editing it's like have you have you seen the state of film criticism
on social media because it's exactly like that it's and that's it's so ridiculous so awful it's
so awful every time I see people talking about a movie and then they say how it should be more
like some fucking Marvel movie I forgot I saw I want to fucking die so I just feel that like we're
we're just looking at the next fucking step in this dumb idea war you know of these design
philosophies and and in this particular case it's how to take a crack at an open world game
you know I think I think my favorite part of this whole thing is that because of Elden Ring's
super popularity right um there are people that have completely dodged the entirety of
From Software's output forever yes this is the first time for sure and just seeing those people
just hit it like a brick wall like why isn't this like a regular fucking video game
is fascinating to me I am though seeing to be to be fair like that like it's a it's a hilarious
thing whenever you get that response like like what the fuck am I even looking at and it's like
okay it's almost like that you know remember the guy that like looks at DMC five for the first time
where she's like yeah right got it hype train everyone's excited for this new thing you don't
know what it is let's jump in here I don't know what I'm looking at there now I hate it and the
rest is just is history um there is absolutely also people that are jumping in for the first time
that are going like I'm I haven't come up for air in 80 hours now right I didn't know what the
fuck this was but everyone was on it and I'm I can't put it down so it is going positively as well
for people who are hard jumping into their first from soft game and like fucking getting hyper
immersed in this one yeah it's it's it's just it's this fascinating thing where it's like there's
the there's the oh I can't believe this thing it's not fair which is you know it's fun to watch from
a distance but it's not what I'm talking about it's people who normal ass people that are playing it
and they'll talk to an NPC and the NPC will tell them to go they will there's a lot of
NPCs that will literally say the phrase like go find this person and that's it that's the whole
thing in some cases they'll mention like countries you haven't heard of and you just like what is
what do you mean where is it well how do I know that why where tell me anything no
so um another game that I haven't played but sounds like there's comparable elements here
and I'm curious to see because it's considered successful is um red dead right you you big open
world lots of side quests lots of main quests might be the that might be that might be the worst
comparison you have ever made in your entire life okay so I don't know enough about red dead
that's fine I don't know this is why I'm asking it right but I was because what made me think of it
is here's what made me think of it was like starting out the game I don't know how soon
you get a horse uh-huh in red dead you get a horse like in the introductory cutscene okay um so
does anything in that game have any moments kind of like what you described where you meet an NPC
and then they kind of tell you to go to a town or something like that and um you kind of have to
wander into it or is it really guided towards these things because again I'm asking I don't know I
haven't played it when you're when you're wandering around you can happen upon things in red dead but
the instant that a person or a human or anything occurs to you the game will point you towards it
mark it and then if you go there and try and do it in the way that the designer didn't design the
quest to happen you will autofill it interesting okay and red red dead is the most restrictive game
I have ever played and if you are cool with playing the part of Arthur Morgan as an actor
in this video game I can understand why people would love it okay but I was constantly
like incensed every time I would go to look around a corner in the wrong direction or maybe I can run
away from them here like the game would autofill like right away like so wandering playing the part
of an actor in red dead 2 okay because I'm thinking about hearing stories of people talking about
wandering through the brush and coming across some bandits who've put a woman on the train tracks
or whatever yeah I know that happens they have some randomized events that that will occur and
there's a good deal of them but they're just resembling other games open world like trigger
events that you wander into yeah but most of this is a hyperscripted linear thing it's it's
there's a there's a youtuber called nakey jakey that put out a video so he's a cool looking guy he
sits on a yoga ball uh he put out a great video where he just described him going through a sequence
of quests and how he uh hopped on a bunch of roofs and figured out a different way into an area and
got to a door and it wouldn't open because he what he had to do was go to the street and talk to a
guy and walk with them and talk with them and then they would open the door and it's like
you you you must do it in the exact way every time okay okay and it is it is one of the open
world games that like I quit in frustration because I felt like I wasn't getting to actually play the
game ever so that's still interesting to the comparison because like that's a huge popular
successful rock star game that oh absolutely is that was like a lot of people picked up and loved
um but the ability but the fact that it had those shackles on you was not really I guess
widely uh an issue to I would suppose a casual audience right well the it depends it depends
on what you're looking for and the weirdest thing is that uh because red dead comes from the gta
series right it's the same dna and red dead has two games in it the open world game in which you
ride around hunt things do do uh you know shoot cops uh fucking upgrade your character find stuff
out there have random events happen that's one game and that game is really cool and then there's
the other game where you talk to a character and it is a playable movie like that you know they
they want to make cinematic games well the way that they have done their cinematic game is that it
is a film that you play a part in okay okay and when somebody tells you to do something
you must do it or else it will fail interesting because that's that's just not the it's not
the way people talk about it you know and that and that just goes to show you how my perception
from the outside was that this was a similar sense of you can wander and discover things and that's
why people are enjoying it it I never took it to be as linear as you're describing that's that's
fascinating because like the reason why a lot of people are fine with that is because the story is
really interesting and it's it's like extremely well acted and the writing is pretty good it's a
cool cowboy story and when you're doing that stuff and you're synced into it it's a really cool cowboy
story but if you want to like it basically your your your enjoyment of that is going to
like hinge entirely on whether or not you want to go look over there in this particular moment
if you do you're going to hit a wall it might as well be an invisible wall right if you don't if
you are into playing the part oh it's going to be great the story is going to be great you're
going to have all these cool moments because you're following the developer intention um I constantly
constantly just put it into that wall almost every mission drove me crazy
drove me fucking nuts um and if red dead redemption two was a linear game with a series of missions
that you did in a linear area I would probably adore that game if if if red dead redemption two
was max pain I would love that game and I think the story is great and I think that the shooting
is just fine enough for what it's doing and it looks great etc but it's also combined with a
wide open world in which the devs say go anywhere do anything but you in fact don't and can't right
it's it's it's it's two games and I really like one of them and I really dislike the other
and I wish they were separate where when you look at uh when you look at um Elden Ring for example
it is also two games um it is an open world game that it feels a lot like Demon Souls or Dark Souls
and if you you haven't done these yet you haven't done Stormvale or Lucaria the legacy the legacy
dungeons when you go there it is not an open world game that feels like Dark Souls it just
becomes Dark Souls it is at like Stormvale and Lucaria that I've done so far and what I'm going
to assume is the capital are just big-ass Dark Souls levels and then it changes into that
yeah just leave if you want and whereas what you're describing also applies to the GTA format
right where there's the open world and yeah walking up to the next quest marker there's
so there's a yeah and there's a reason why a lot like for me uh the the Grand Theft Auto series
like best game is still San Andreas because uh you would get like it was still a little scripted
but it was like escape or kill the sky and you could just do whatever to actually do that
and then with GTA 4 when the graphics got really good they were like no no no uh get in the car
and then talk with Brucey and then uh you'll you'll drive to the spot and you wait there and then
the guy'll come out and you'll do a drive-by and it's like the hanging out with Brucey in GTA 4
if anybody even remembers that character fucking rules that guy is alpha but like I had way more
fun parking my car in GTA 3 and then hopping over a fence and skipping a level and shooting a boss
in the back of the head and just doing it yourself then I then I did going through these lavishly
produced uh fucking story missions okay okay interest yeah okay so and Elden Ring feels
like a whole game made out of that right like people a did you beat it yeah how'd you beat it
well I I I clipped my head through the wall and shot him in the ass for 40 times and he got poisoned
and then he died sick good job right excellent right which also reminds me of the of like almost
like Fallout 2 things that are stories that I hate type of shit I think the only I think the
only thing I've seen in Elden Ring right now in terms of a wins a win that actually needs to go
for real there's a boss near the end of the game that you can figure out how to climb into his arena
without going through the door and his AI just doesn't turn on he just doesn't turn on okay and
I'm like okay that might be a little much guys that's a bit extreme arrows through the fog gate
okay yeah you just walk up to him and he just stands there he just do anything
yeah no I I feel that um you know whatever the like what you're describing is as like a thing
that like uh whatever people are getting like a steady diet of I suppose you just get used to it
so if you're getting a steady diet of like you know these overdone old Ubi Ubi formula things
at a certain point I mean I know I got tired but like that it's not gonna hamper the success
of one of these games and I would go out so many of those and I would go as far as to say that like
like if horizon didn't have an elden ring in its way it would make a huge difference in in that
like success like like definitely like genuinely the of I have played almost all of those types
of games because I really like wandering around a big location I absolutely love wandering around
a big place and finding things and in that context to this day after going through almost all of them
the two best ones to come out that follow that formula since um Assassin's Creed one let's say
which was the the beginning of the towers is Assassin's Creed Brotherhood because it's the
first really genuinely super incredible Assassin's Creed game and then goes to Tsushima
all those years later because you pick a point on the map and the wind points you in the direction
so you don't have to check the fucking map again right like that one feature puts Tsushima over
the whole thing oh and Spider-Man because swinging by itself is incredible but yeah swinging is the
best yeah but like like out of all of them there've been like 40 that have come out
like movement feels really good you get to not have to look at the map so much
and then Zelda because you could do whatever and now there's this and it's like
god please god lord make it more fun to explore the actual location the climb the tower and
see the shit and go to the shit and play a fucking side quest that is a type of side quest
that will repeat itself it i'm fucking so tired i'm so tired of it and also once you stop moving
and you get to the location i mean in this case when you in Elden Ring you get to the location
and you stop and now you're you're still playing a souls game like it's the weapon choices to build
the combat everything you're doing is you got all that cool shit you know Breath of the Wild you
get to the location and you're playing Zelda you know like the thing needs to like the basis of
what you're doing as well and how you're fighting in the combat and all that it needs to be built on
ingredients that are fucking proven yeah we had Breath of the Wild five years ago five
i want to say but we had Breath of the Wild many years ago and it said no you don't have to make
games like this you can make them like this right and everyone went wow cool and then nobody changed
how they made games at all and now Elden Ring is the design sequel to Breath of the Wild it's the
only the first one and they went oh look you can make games like this and hopefully some games will
make their areas more interesting to move in or the way you move to get to them something
mm-hmm okay anything else of note the fucking no
woolly i i okay here's a really good example of the hold that Elden Ring has on my heart
when i was streaming on Friday night i this was day eight of streaming nine plus hours
and i got to about hour six and i started to do that thing where i was like hey i have go castle
bad bad poison and like brain up the brain brain was bad words no good
neurotransmitters used up mm-hmm right okay maybe don't stream saturday i gonna call like yeah get
coin exactly thank you bad buddy jones um all right and i like okay i need to turn this off
i need to stop streaming i need to relax you know it would be a really good way to relax i'm gonna
start up a samurai and see how fast i can break market in under two hours and the answer is pretty
hard and that was me that was the way to relax from streaming Elden Ring was to chill out and play
Elden Ring mm-hmm that's where it's at all right um pretty good game pretty good game there you go
that's another uh uh uh all-encompasser that's a that's a good game at this point honestly uh
like well we're gonna talk about it next week but all i want to hear is you tell me about the
shit that you found sure yeah that's that's all i want i i feel like this is gonna be a big week
uh because i've i've set up all of the like discovery zones and then now you can bang out
like 10 caves exactly that's what i'm excited to do is to just teleport to the start and just hit
them up one by one you know those caves get way better once you get out of limb grave okay
so in limb grave they pretty much usually have one floor and whether or not you go up and down a
staircase like there's still only one like horizontal plane the instant you leave limb grave
you're getting caves that are like four floors deep you're getting catacombs that
loop back on each itself or you have to do bullshit around their elevators to progress
like they become a lot more complex also hello kitty cat kitty cat i mean you just you know how
like that that um the the the tree uh the ulcerated tree is like you hit it and you go uh maybe but
nah let me come back in a little bit um the fucking double tutorial eight arms whatever
fang like that is the hardest nope i've encountered so far all right let me let me all right let me
tell you something let me tell you something about that room because i think i have a strat down
and that strat involves not just not even fighting them all right hold on hold on hold on
let me tell you something about that room okay because that room represented three hours of my
life off camera all right those are grafted scions okay they come down and they fucking
sandwich you in there and there's a cool item that got it yeah got it i'm just talking about the
kill so the only way i was able to fight it the only way was to uh drag them back into the fire
trap oh my god and the fire trap will do like maybe one fifth of their health oh my god wait wait
but wait not the whole thing no no no no no no no no no so you have to you have to clear out the
enemies then you have to drag just one of them back to the fire trap now you have to dodge all
their bullshit and wait for the fire trap to hit them four more times while also not yourself
getting in the way of the fire trap okay and then you do that to both of them and you will know what
you get you get nothing nothing you get nothing okay they are there to scare you and have you go
into the pit to get to a new area don't fight them don't bother okay they are worthless
you don't even get that many souls you get like two thousand oh man okay okay because
i was i put a i put some time in and i was getting it down to a point where it's like
all right if we dance around the wall and don't walk too close to the pit we won't aggro both
because if you aggro both it's over so you aggro one you key and you keep your back to the wall
and then you only swing after the slam and then maybe we'll get this done yeah no what you do
is you go down to the pit and then the pit leads you to an elevator which puts you to that that
outcropping halfway down the the slope christ right you fight an enemy there he gives you
an item and then you take a bow out and you actually look at the roof you look at the roof
of the path the chariot goes and there's magic pots and if you shoot the rope on the magic pot
with good timing the magic pot will fall and destroy the chariot and then the chariot will be
destroyed for the remainder of your runs this was like a whole afternoon of my life after i
fucking killed those guys okay so i got knocked down in the pit and died but i didn't actually
there's a there's a part of the pit i saw into i saw there was not yeah i saw there was oh and
you get a faith great bow for doing that but i'd never actually like jesus fucking christ man
that's the shortcut by the way the shortcut is falling down that pit and then destroying the
chariot so then you don't have to worry about the chariot and then turns out if you run all the way
down and don't take the the first right take the first right uh with the the archer in it you don't
take fall damage off that so you can just sprint down jump off sprint that's what that's my way down
oh yeah that's my way down is you're not taking the fall damage but then off the pit past the two
goblins oh my god oh Jesus christ fucking hell this game okay all right all right this is just one
hole in the ground at this tutorial level area yeah i think i think my favorite i think my favorite
what are you talking about is i was talking to page and she beat storm veil she beat it right she's
like i she got godric and she did it and i'm like oh you explored all of storm veil right she's like
yeah and i'm like did you find the giant face in the basement and she went no
and then i had to show her that there's a jumping puzzle in in one fucking area
to get to a fuck to the basement of storm veil
god all right uh bathroom yeah i'm looking at people in the chat going to what yeah yeah yeah
yeah no no exactly no clearly clearly uh well fucking a i thought i was done with that little hole
all right nothing huh fucking Jesus yeah i'm totally worthless
okay let's take a quick break i gotta i gotta use the washroom same
all right let's see in a sec
okay uh okay wait a second there's something else i need to tell you about elton ring
proceed did you know that enemies take different damage from spells depending on if it's raining
or if they're standing in water no lightning damage does more damage when it's raining but
fire damage just way less because it's raining i just i i heard about the the um the firefly
night when the earth trees glowing petals are around or whatever and that you get more more
souls yeah also if enemies are standing in water hitting them with lightning does an aoe on the
ground because the water yeah it's water yeah
does frost interact with water i don't know it should but they would they you know get more stiff
yeah i don't know i haven't used much frost i'm gonna i'm gonna say yes
i'm just gonna say yes
oh elton that's how you beat that fucking boss god damn it there's a there's a double boss
that you fight in a water arena that is just super strong and it's immune to bleed and it's immune
to poison and it's immune to rot and i'm like they're standing in water you freeze them you freeze them
there you go oh this is that i actually have a tip for you about the way uh like arts of war work
is really important if you have freeze on your weapon or you have fire on your weapon through
the weapon art the weapon damage on the art is not going to scale with your stats it's going to
scale with the weapon upgrade oh what so if you have yeah so if you have a claymore let's say
claymore regular claymore and you put the freeze move on it but you you you keep it like a regular
claymore and you don't have any points in intelligence which is the freeze stat as long as you upgrade
the god damn weapon it's still going to scale its freeze damage along with it so it means you
can get it means you can get like like 10 damage types to super high damage that are contradictory
to your existing build does that apply to um the base ability that it has and whatever ash you put
into it no it only applies to the move that the ash does okay like the scaling damage on the weapons
hits that will take your stats in an account but the move that it does so the blood move doesn't
check your arcane stat the lightning moves don't check your faith stat ice moves don't check it
checks how upgraded the weapon is yeah which means that you could be going faith like i am and put a
god damn ice thing on your sword and it will do crazy bullshit but the sword that you didn't put
an ash into that automatically has a special ability that will rely on the stat okay yeah
interesting uh okay well i mean shit yeah i will the clearly that can there's always another thing
um it's the colombo effect but one more thing just one just one more thing just one more thing
how did you know about the stab wound when the body was faced down just just it you know
just to get it off my my uh musta musta turned it over well you see that couldn't be possible
because the body was never moved over the quarter i love colombo i'm glad colombo is having a
resurgence i used to watch colombo when i was a kid with my dad i i love that's great i've i've uh i've
dubbed it because because in when i was finishing off uh everhood um every time a finale would happen
then another finale would start i would i'd call it the colombo effect because the game is literally
just going ah just just one more thing you know and like one on one felt that way mm-hmm
where that game has five endings and and it is interesting because like a lot of people did have
some very interesting crit uh uh discussions on the i'm going to say the everhood cast episode
that we did where is essentially just like the second to last episode of the LP where me and
Reggie just sat down and talked talked it all through a lot of people gave their like multi
paragraph takes on things and it was it was interesting to read through people's interpretations
but um the the thing with that that the colombo effect in this game is that like it was treating
characters as if you had fallen in love with them over the course of like five games
and this was your final goodbye when really it was kind of just that one guy who changes his name
every time you talk to him for laws you know you mean you mean like there there's something
like that going on in Elden Ring where the game actually wants you to seemingly care about millennia
and it's like i play for 88 hours i think i've talked to her twice
and i don't give a fuck about her the read on it is really weird when it's like it's you're having
really you know emotionally driven constant like you know finale after finale when you're like well
but i only spent x amount of time with you having two or three pretty meaningless npc conversations
you know um not millennia you got the thing wrong which therefore proves the point
right sorry proves the point not millennia listen i've i have tried my best to learn godwin godric
godfrey radon radovin rani rana ranala millennia michella mogwin uh all right you're
millennia innocent enough man jesus rodarica is in there
um rigatoni that's um
anyway yeah so so it had that weird feeling and like another person was guessing that it was like
after working on the game for so long it could just be like the creators saying their goodbyes to
these characters i don't know about that you know because it almost sounds like but it's not to see
how much blue dick to undertale skeleton pornography there is and they're like oh the people who
play these games are freaks they're gonna love these characters well it but it just if the person
if the if they were having the goodbye that they were feeling themselves after spending all this
time making it and such then that would explain why it was like so like drawn out in this way but
it just it's not it's another example of like well yeah but the player might not be
there with you so you shouldn't assume that they are you know um anyway anyway uh the colombo effect
is uh is i'm glad i'm glad that's on point i love you colombo um i did actually play a
couple other things though we played a little bit of ff6 got a little bit further um a train
was in fact suplexed yeah and apparently uh regi told me that when they first released it
they they fucked up and had it so that um the suplexing did not invert the enemy
and they had to patch it in it it has to dude like it's crazy sabin has been legendary for
decades because you suplex that whole train so good can't even imagine what he's actually
doing off camera to the train to flip it like that so uh that was pretty dope and then i got to the
belt and god damn what a fucking bagger uh that plays alongside your your hunting through the bush
and uh yeah i basically just spent the last little bit um trying to teach
gao those moves because um what a fucking interesting archetype in that i guess now i
understand like what the blue mage type is is like about you know because um beyond this i think my
only other experience with it would have been like kimari okay yeah but like the the entirely
enemy skill based character i'm an enemy skill materia and you don't control me at all yeah um
i mean vincent gives you a a tinge of that but it's not really the same because he has no that
that game system doesn't account for it but like yeah queena does it but i mean i don't think you
played nine no but um yeah what a what an interesting weird thing where it's just like okay pick what
enemy you want to have on the battlefield with you and then pick wisely and then you have no
control hope it works out you know um yeah but uh we're but like yeah it's fucking it's it's great
it's excellent and the discrepancy between the sprite art and getting a glimpse at a mono and what
his interpretation was is the wildest it's always pretty funny it's always really funny
yeah so um very cool i'm gonna i'm gonna go just take a quick peek at at the city to see
what they finalized in terms of like the interpretations on some of these things
but yeah it's really interesting because they go for the imano art on all the default costumes
and then the alternates are their alternate color schemes so like terra is is like blonde and mostly
red and pink but then you get like the the much darker red and the green hair the green hair
alternate okay or sorry i mean tina bradford
what that's her name
tara brandford is originally tina bradford what does originally mean in japan
in japan that character's name is tina
really yep
that's a really drastic change
yeah because in japan tina bradford sounds like
like like interesting and foreign but then wozzy sorry wozly how do i say it whatever the guy who
translated was like ah that's like a normal name
because terra is like earth implications yep get out of that box
wow okay
it did that did everybody get a name change i don't think so because she's she's the one that just
that jumps out at me super hard because reggie was also pointing out that um
cyan had a completely different thing going on where he wasn't listed as a samurai and
his moveset had a completely different um they all had different names as well
also you didn't pick them he just had one bar and you had to wait and time it out
wait what is it now you just pick which of the three abilities you want him to do
what that's crazy that's totally different
yeah you used to just click it and then you'd have to wait
but you know about barts right no okay the final fancy five main character barts
his name is butz
butz
what were they going for without knowing what were they actually intending there butz
okay because there's always there's always a thing that's like oh what they wanted
was a reference to this thing or the there was a movie or you know what i mean there's always
like something where like oh yeah someone heard a name in a movie somewhere and they were a fan
of this thing and so they were going for that you know no well you know guts his name is actually
gatsu yes but then the other thing but so step one is gatsu and then step two is here's this real
dude that existed whose name was uh got whatever gots got sue with the oh i think it was but like
the wikipedia article to some kind of old badass that had that that existed and like then that
becomes the new i mean well what do you want from me erith's original name is a fucking ploy on
earth spoken through a japanese exit yes exactly so what i'm so that's what i'm wondering is like
what was butz going for well okay i'll tell you i do know what the reason was so originally butz
was named after the aotans got it okay okay gotz von berlik berlikingen
yeah i don't know if there's any truth behind it but a bunch of people started
share that link around that's like i've i've seen a lot of stupid translations crap in my life
i still like giggle at the absolute fucking stupid shit show with the attack on aotans
and all that crap oh god the smugness oh i loved it it's so stupid yeah that's the dumbest
that's the worst one and then they're then the maga's like also this one is the attack titan
that's why the name of the thing is this it the exact that i love i love that i love it
that is my favorite thing that is absolutely my favorite thing the shingeki no kyojin um so
so a couple other things yes so ff6 is going good um and then uh yeah i just took a quick detour
and um played a little bit of lab coat 21 to see what was going on and that's that's a fun
character that's pretty cool that game is still cool uh sure hope it gets what it needs in the
form of a uh spec oh god a rollback edition that includes all of the the dlc lab coat 21
that was a game dragon ball fighters dragon ball i thought that was a game like because you you when
you you talk about fighting games there's so many fucking stupid stupid names that come up like lab
coat 21 what the fuck is that a bunch of scientists oh no it's the dragon ball okay yeah it's android
21 brackets lab coat is the name of the character so uh yes anyway so give it give it the game give
it its rollback edition that includes all the dlc in in a special package and then everyone can be
happy um and then uh yeah went and played the latest marvel mods which have been i guess i'd
pop in the fuck off marvel 3 the modding community just going to make going nuts with this thing right
now um i described it before but like actually putting a little bit of uh time into dmc 5
virginal is it causes damage with the full move set it actually like it was so hard to just
unlearn everything and then try to apply um this move set which in order to be faithful
to everything virginal can do in dmc 5 special edition that's a lot of stuff it needs to turn
every direction plus a button on the stick into a different thing you know uh and a lot of stuff
it's a lot it hurt it kind of hurt um but in exchange i guess they kind of made him like a
bit of a glass cannon because he's got so much shit that he just has to have less life uh and
it and like as i was uh popping it in dmc akuma yeah yeah exactly that makes sense honestly
and as i was popping it in um they updated it two hours prior so literally even more
shit was added to do better summon sword shit and um it it you can watch my brain melt live
on stream as i try that um with that episode coming a little bit later too much virginal
can be a thing but it was great and they also replaced his music with barry the light so
everything's just fucking awesome with the marvel mods excuse me monster hunters is in the game
she's swinging that big ass sword around and um she's making fun of you for not even being g-ranked
can we please just get another marvel game that just adds the characters that marvel infinite
had into marvel 3 that's what the fans are in the process of doing i know but can we get like a
i know yeah and also take out all the marvel characters and replace them with all the capcom
characters some of the other marvel games hey guess what the conversation quickly steered
towards capcom versus cap i will i'll say it every time every time um yeah so that stuff's
coming up check out the woolly versus uh youtube channel and on twitch where you can catch more
episodes of elden ring um which i'm putting up in one and a half to two hour parts and so far
it's keeping pace with our stream um i don't know if it's it i i'm i hope it's not too much but
it's the only way forward if you do think it's if it's fine let me know if it's too much let me know
but um yeah this is obviously just the most of a thing that we've anyway i'm like there there's
probably there's a there's such there could be such a thing as like too many hours of content coming
out for and people to reasonably keep up with but you know what can you do it's uh it's the nature
of the game how hard do you want that part number to get is the real question i don't i don't care if
it goes above 99 but i'm trying to avoid it being well so ridiculous the part numbers are the sorry
the parts are like how long right now one and a half to two hours per part okay you you you probably
won't hit 99 at that rate
but if you put it up in the regular chunks you would easily sail past it
combined with off-screen i think together it'll it'll we're going to get a normal part number
i think we're going to get a normal part number um because i'm like anyway this is the most like
aggressive um this is the most aggressive we've been with like part sizes combined with uh
the doing stuff doing homework you know hey look at that guys this is a this the last thing i'll say
about elden ring today which is by the way a lie uh i was just curious uploaded march 7th
anti-cheat toggler this will enable you to bypass the anti-cheat and bypass any game updates for
faulting the anti-cheat and just turn the game on without the anti-cheat cool this man that was
fast all right thomas the tank engine replacements can start today
i mean of all the games you don't want to be invaded and dropped a corrupt fail
save breaking item in so i should mention quote uh
uh using the old method blah blah blah it will launch the game using an old copy blah blah
blah blah this vert this will not allow you to play online with a modded client okay okay so
specifically the anti-cheat work around like forcibly disables the use of online like the
actual mod itself okay i'ma just chill on console let it you know it'd be a cool thing to check out
if somebody's willing to to download and test this thing while we're talking
whether or not the game's performance massively improves hmm that'd be interesting that'd be
interesting um yeah no i'ma just chill on console
i fucked around when i when i did the fucking around on a different character
on ps4 i did it on the ps4 version on ps5 yeah i'm gonna play that version until the pc
version is completely up enough that is a locked 60 in fact i wish you could just choose to play
that version on the ps5 as the ps5 game i wish i could transfer my save down yeah me too
fucking hell um all right so yeah uh this week on the on the schedule the plan is of course more
ff6 more elden ring um get to fighting games on saturday and i'm going to see if i can find a point
this week to check out the curbie demo because there's a curbie demo out and why the fuck really
yeah curbie and the forgotten land they put out a demo forgotten land yeah that's the one
so uh we'll we'll see we will see um let's take you're gonna get a good mouthful on it
i'm gonna get a good mouth
i mean i'm seeing all the mock-ups for like what may or may not be like like well i'm seeing
i saw stuff that was like is that official mouthful mode like packaging and or switch skin
or not i don't know but i don't want a switch skin that makes it look like my switch is
partially swallowed i don't i don't enjoy it
like i and it has changed anything that is like anything that used to just be like oh hey cute
it's curbie's face and a pink like wrapping paper on something and now you're forced to rethink
about what that is that's no longer just a curbie face on a cute thing right when i wear i have a
kigurumi that is curbie when i wear that that's no longer just a curbie themed kigu
it is my body has been swallowed by curbie like it sucks so what you're saying is that if you
like are struggling to get struggling to get the kigurumi on it's like you're being vored by
your own personal curbie i am in fact being vored just like oh help oh i can't get the
and you can see my body moving inside being horribly swallowed now the real there's only
one i don't know the answer i would assume so but the test is to find one of them and go hey
you know how this didn't excite you before does the idea of this suddenly change
because this kigu didn't do anything to you for you last time but now that mouthful mode has been
introduced and you've mentally recontextualized what you're looking at does that suddenly get
you a little more excited about what you're seeing because if so then the answer is yes pat
that's the last curbie got to be like this
blame kumasaki is that who i should blame that's who you should blame okay let's take a quick
word from our sponsors hey let's do that
this week the podcast is brought to you by
express vpn i had to actually use this last night because i was trying to watch a
video and youtube said no and i was like ha ha fuck you i'ma just press the button
and now i am good using the internet uh without express vpn it's like leaving your exposed
laptop at a coffee shop while you're rent to the bathroom it's probably fine most of the time but
what if one day you come out of the bathroom and your laptop is gone you know that'd be terrible
yeah what if some shitty 12 year old is sitting there and is and is using what has become insanely
easy uh hacking tools to jack your data financial information all that shit it sucks every time
you log on to an unencrypted network you're at risk with all of that the unfortunate reality is that
this since this isn't a metaphor you can't just run up and throttle this child because the child
is actually a hacker across the world literal script kitty now that being said um for me it's
just like i want to watch the video stop telling me i can't do it i'ma press the button so that i
can watch the video and that's good enough but also there's other shit like yeah that that child
can't get what he can't get what for you can't put all that creepy Kirby stuff on your computer
while you're not looking gigs and gigs of it damn that's upsetting it's like wait a minute you already
had a folder before they announced mouthful mode anyway express vpn will secure your online data
and uh yeah you can check it out today by visiting express vpn.com slash super beast that's ex pr es
vpn.com slash super beast and you can get an extra three months free express vpn.com
slash super beast thank you express vpn thanks express vpn
this week the podcast is also sponsored by ray cons which as we have many a time in the past told
you uh the age of wires is over and those who do not submit to the new wireless world
will be strung up with wires they will find metaphorically the wires will be their undoing
those who do not embrace the new wireless way will find a swift end because they're annoying
and untangling the wires in your pocket is terrible man i remember the last time a long time ago i
fucking untangled some wires it was the worst i didn't want that you know what i you know what i
won the last time i remember untangling my wires out of my pocket was
good tell me because i don't know there you go it was it was like a decade ago yeah it would be
horrible if you had to experience that again and you don't want you nor your loved ones nor anyone
close to you to experience uh the undoing that this horrible wired fate brings to them right
you care about you care about that family you care about your friends you care about those people so
embrace wirelessness all right wireless earbuds specifically can get you into the fucking future
raycon wireless earbuds they got the best audio coming to you no matter uh uh where you are you've
got awareness mode to help you listen to your surroundings they've got optimized perfect in
ear fits everyday earbuds that look sound and feel better than ever eight hours of play time 32
hour battery life and you know punch mom continues to you on a daily basis uh rocking rocking those
raycons doing doing a lot of work especially at night time when uh sometimes my snoozing might
get a little loud you could cancel all of that uh that noise out so you don't have to pay premium
prices for uh the the the quality that is just unaffordable you can get half the price of other
premium audio brands with all of the features i've described and you can embrace wirelessness
and then you don't have to worry about you know them finding you surrounded by wires
you don't want to be found caught up in wires no man so right now you can get 15 off your
raycon order at buyraycon.com slash superbeast that's buyraycon.com slash superbeast to save
15 off on raycons buyraycon.com slash superbeast thanks raycon thank you raycon wireless world order
it also by having no wires it removes the uh temptation to uh accidentally kill yourself
with autoerotic exfaciation the choke jerk is too good man it's yeah i i
like you ever like you see somebody die from it and you're like oh man could it maybe no
it must be it must be the greatest thing ever there's no way it can't be if you're going
through those lengths and then your family's got it it's like a 10 bump it's like what are you doing
and then the family's got to come in and say that the ninja's got you you know that's how good it is
damn i think i think i've like inverted on my feelings on this like originally i was like
that it was always the thing of like hey if i get if you find me in the closet and i'm like you
know choke jerked out and i'm dead can you just like take me out of the closet put me on the
floor make it look like a heart attack i don't know if i'm on to this now i think i might be
like no no no if i die of a heart attack i want you to put me in the closet oh and choke jerk me
up because that'd be funny there you go okay do lean into the bit that'd be funny the final bit
tell you what that would look like a murder it would the the tampering yeah the tampering would
be bad a murder yeah it wouldn't be good but it would be funny oh i said this before oh no
but either way you definitely have to consider the the the i'd like damn that that fucking
that choke jerk nut must be unstoppable if they're putting it all on the line every time
it's gotta be unstoppable i don't know why maybe it's just for special occasions
i can't imagine why you do it unless it was just life changing you know it's just for special occasions
thanks raycon what are we thank you we still doing the ad
fucking sewn out there for a moment
i can't believe people skip these ads they're like my favorite part of the podcast hey man listen
like you know you want to talk about the wire remember that barksdale he didn't even have to
get the the closet he just you can fucking get the get the door the door the door get created with
the door handle oh come on that's just ridiculous yeah but then you can you don't know you know the
cleanup is probably a lot easier you just you know you're right there and but and nobody can come in
accidentally i don't have the cleanups that easier because if you if you if you choke yourself
out with the door that means you're sitting down right yeah and that means that means that when they
go to push the door open because you've shit yourself when you died that means you're gonna
cause a smear oh for sure but yeah you're creating a if if choke jerk goes according to plan you're
creating a blockade which stops them from opening the door for a little bit for a little bit so that
you can again achieve those divine heights which must be unbelievable must be pretty good to put
it all on the line must be all right you know um so that's what i'm thinking is like you can get
creative even without the closet or the load bearing um the load bearing bar like like
clothing bar i bet it is yeah bear this couple of loads couple of loads did you see that fucking
kirby trailer that was literally titled take it all in i sure didn't god damn it the announcer's
like yeah kirby take it all it like sir i'm not joking i'm dead serious unironic
thanks rick hon no we're out of the ad no the ad is over don't send this part that's weird
this is the weird part we're out are we are we really um this week the podcast is also brought to
you it's not my fault all right i was trying to get there yeah okay yeah this week the podcast
is also brought to you by door dash um if you've got stuff to take care of that's time consuming
yeah uh you're gonna be pretty busy yeah you are yeah you can't get i mean you don't have the time to
deal with anything really that's that's not priority number one
and and priority number one might be the bit time consuming yeah so you're gonna work up an
appetite delicate yeah when you work up that appetite door dash is gonna get you food delivered
straight to your door the door outside your house not the door to your bedroom yeah that's right
and then like the usually door you mark like you know just drop it off then they drop off
their runway you didn't answer the door whatever because no one can see you perfect right and then
if you you know if someone's if you've got a roommate or you're living with somebody
they can even go get your food from the safe drop off and they can put that outside your bedroom door
and then whatever yeah and so now that's waiting for you right there yeah that means if you come out
of your bedroom the food will be right there right there ready to go yeah if you ever if you ever come
out if you if you come out of the bed it's it you know hopefully you come out and if you do come
out you'll be hungry if you do real appetite worked up big big appetite big hungry
so door dash is is especially out there they've got over 300 000 partners choices you got your local
go-tos your neighborhood favorites and your favorite chain restaurants as well all included
tons of partners joining each week you can you can you know if you're not making it down there
on a regular basis you can keep these places going by uh supporting them with door dash and
getting your food and i'm telling you man you know sometimes you just find like you're like hey
i didn't think my word where did all the time go you know i i i experienced lost time
it was five o'clock now it's eight o'clock what happened you know things take time things take
time it's kind of crazy it's almost like you you just you fucking black out sometimes you're
like i don't even know where you know but but whatever the point is everybody everybody's
wispy they look like ghosts weird the point is is um you know nothing says love like when someone
just can see you in the in the busiest state you could be in and go oh i'll just put your dinner
right here and they just rest the the the bag of your takeout food right next to you while you're busy
and that's what door dash can help you do so for a limited time our listeners can get 25
percent off and zero delivery fees on their first order of $15 or more when you download the door
dash app and enter the code castle that's 25 off up to a $10 value and zero delivery fees off your
first order when you download the door dash app in the app store and enter code castle one more time
code castle for 25 off your first order with door dash subject change terms apply thank you door
thanks door dash
and lastly this week the podcast is also brought to you by hello fresh
because again uh you know i like to think sometimes maybe that um i have the skills to
whip up a good meal but sometimes reality uh sets in and i'm like oh no i can't i can't do it that good
i don't know what i'm doing i need an expert to do do the work for me and to figure out the
proportions and the measurements and all the tasty ingredients to make a good meal so that i
can get back to doing the important things in life you know mm-hmm yeah
so it's always nice you know it's almost as if like let's say you're really really busy
and like you're like i don't know you're zoned out you're just you're you're like you're going
somewhere else right but then the smell of you know the person you live with is of them making some
some hello fresh it's might it might bring you back to reality it might grab you from
wherever you're going and be like oh shit oh there's a nice dinner on my way it's right there
i should i should i should wake up and eat you know i should stop doing this and i should go
get ready to eat yeah because i don't want them to come in here and be like hey food's ready oh no
you know yeah so you can get a ton of choices every week hello fresh is set up with
tons of different recipes they got fit and wholesome whatever types of diets you
prefer you can go through a huge list of customizable favorite dishes
whether you want to swap out protein or sides one for another
you've got all the options with the quick and easy 20 minute meals as well and
um you're on average saving uh over 65 bucks a month if you're dealing with
hello fresh getting 72 cheaper than a restaurant meal for a food of the same quality
so yeah the options are limitless and you can you're you're gonna need you're gonna
need the food taken care of because you're you're busy you got you got a lot going on
yeah you know absolutely so uh yeah check out uh you can you can go to hello fresh dot com
slash super beast 16 and use code super beast 16 for up to 16 free meals and three free gifts
that's hello fresh dot com slash super beast 16 and code super beast 16 for up to 16 free meals
and three free gifts that's america's number one meal kit hello fresh oh and i i also uh
they you get the little recipe card as well when they deliver the each meal so you can
have a little quick reference for like you know putting that together and and making it if you
order it again in the future because as as if something's tasty i know i enjoyed some of the
chicken i got which was a full of protein and and very very tasty so uh yeah that's good stuff
that's good stuff put the belt down pick up the knife and fork thanks hello fresh
thanks hello fresh
all right what's going on seafood patch seafood patch there is a seafood patch coming
and it adds a full mandarin voiceover to the game that's pretty cool if you want that is cool
uh if you want to get uh yeah the the a full mandarin dub of everything though i'm down to
check that out because that that uh you know the the the feel of some authenticity should be dope
there though i might be mistaken because um as you know i love to disclaim i don't know what the
fuck i'm talking about but if i'm i do believe that like old uh traditional hong kong kung fu
cinema was cantonese dubbed um and i think like you go back to like some of the classic bruce lee
movies and stuff and there were cantonese dubbed as well like hk cinema stuff so man i don't know
shit about that yeah so when i think i i think i associate that a bit more with the the whole
like martial arts vibe uh that style movie that you're kind of playing through um but uh yeah and
i think i think usually stuff that's a mandarin dubbed is more for the um mainland release
either way that's a fun update i'm uh i'm down to throw that on now listen adding the
the chinese voice support is really cool but at the same time who gives a fuck about that
shit they changed it so that your that your shrines save no matter what age you are yay
any balance updates to the bosses uh i'm seeing people in the chat say that they
unnerfed shon shon is back that's hilarious damn okay shon unleashed holy fuck have that
ever happened has they ever has there ever been a nerf into a nerf combo i don't know i mean
it's happened to re you but it took multiple seasons right re you got nerfed the shit and
then came back in season five um but the instant back down i can't think of any examples of that
yeah me either often there'll be an overcorrection followed by a compensator
you know i mean in in multiplayer games happens all the time right yeah like ah this this is
too good and then they nerf it into the fucking floor and then they're like okay maybe maybe
we go okay maybe we overdid it i guess the question is is it actually old shon or is it
like a new shon that compromises probably a new shon the between the two you know
interesting um what people are saying that they unnerfed the doom eternal dlc oh my god
damn oh no that shit was too much
that shit should have stayed nerfed
i like it i like the seafood balances that we're seeing i hope this continues to be a thing
that's fun uh yeah so good reasons to go back and fucking play more sifu
it's a good game you should play it take a take a take a one day break from elden ring and go beat
sifu um so that dropped uh also a couple other things were announced um are you keep are you
checking out this uh house of the dead remake no apparently a house of the dead remake april 7th
pre-orders available on whatever but man fuck that oh here you go
what am i looking what is the who gets it
switchy shop switchy shop huh wow as somebody who absolutely adores house the dead that's why i
bring it up i don't give a shit about this at all oh wow okay and there's one really simple reason
pointing with the we remote or any pointer is not the same as a light gun
it's completely different gyro is gyro aiming is not the same as light gun aiming for sure
completely different the only way to play a light gun game is standing at a light gun machine
although uh my experience well besides the arcade was then like with a mouse cursor
so that's real real that's cheat big time super powerful big big oh yeah but um
no there there's uh apparently yeah they announced that they're making uh there's a remake of it
and i would i would much rather play typing of the dead remake than well here's the question
right if you're gonna look at a franchise like this and arcades are no longer a thing
um is the move to then actually create like a light gun style peripheral but how do you
do the screen like like i remember um i don't okay you know what min is actually like an expert
on this because min loves light gun games and i know he has done what it takes to get them running
on modern tv's um and i think you have to like i forget what it involved but you have to jump
through quite a few hoops to get that working but it is like an ir setup but you can do it and um
i believe he did it before i went one of his uh one of his parties no uh it should be typing
in the dead then because typing the dead is way more fun at home than a not actually light gun
thing then they have to release a keyboard peripheral right oh right this is the switch
e-shot it's the switch typing of the dead overkill on pc that's easily the best version of this
what about vr would that work it's a lot closer it's a lot closer but it's still not the same
because it is gyro as well but you're having the perspective difference
um and you know people and there's a there's as far as i can tell like the first person stuff
uh they seems like they're figuring it out between half-life alex and um that other one
with the aim down the sights thing i forget what it's called but it looks like you're in space
yeah i don't know what that's called either okay but i'm just like i want a plastic gun and i want
double hand it with two tokens but if there's no easy answer to that based on the tech we have
then it can die yeah okay this is absolutely a i would rather have nothing situation a hundred percent
well um
um
you know what fair enough because i don't have that house of the dead attachment but like
let's say time crisis had to go through something similar i'd i'd fucking i'd feel it so yeah you
know i've played every time crisis game and they fucking never top two not even close which
you know it's fine fine because that that you can't make them anymore right too is just so good
and the gun would kick back because like time crisis is also it's not just the fact that light
guns are gone but the complexity of the co-op cabinet with different perspectives oh is not
going to be recreated at home do you remember the feeling of like any year past 2006 when you'd go up
to a time crisis two machine and you'd shoot the gun and you were like oh it's not completely
fucking broken it still works it still works like it's supposed to wow oh people don't even know
the time crisis two and onwards pistols were really heavy because they had a mechanism where
the slide would kick back per shot and it felt great do you remember when you'd walk up to the
area 51 machine at the truck stop and just not even walk right past it you because you
walk up past it that machine and the cruising us a machine that exists at every truck stop
and you don't dare touch it because it is just there is a film of std's all over them and it's
like it reaches out to you and you're like no no thank you no thank you no no quarter for you
god what was that aerosmith game oh revolution x revolution x oh that gave
such shit oh man that was the weirdest fucking thing in the world but that that popped up but
that was still usually amongst other like legit cabinets for some reason area 51 and cruising
us a would be everywhere and i think it's because they were like $50 i think they were the cabs must
have been cheap um anyway uh ever you ever get up to like a silent scope machine and then you
get a little too close to it and you actually have your eye touch the sniper scope and then you're like
now that means i haven't so the last silent scope i played though was bone eater in japan
in akihabara and that one was probably clean somewhat it was it was quite clean
yes so i didn't have that issue says a lot about it says a lot about japanese or some
american arcades where tech in five came out and had that incredible feature where if you wanted to
you could come in and plug your ps2 controller into the cabinet and japanese players loved it
and i never saw a single fucking cab in in north america ever actually use it because all the
fucking ports were fucked up with peanut butter or gum who who wants to break your ps2 controller
your favorite ps2 controller by having peanut butter get stuck inside the port slot yeah awesome
brilliant idea though i i mean fucking just you know you you you you believed you put faith
in humanity and humanity said no i always blew me away because when you saw gum you're like oh
there was a spur of the moment decision when you saw peanut butter in the cabinet like somebody
brought peanut butter to ruin this cabinet no someone didn't eat lunch at school had it in
their backpack went to the arcade after school and shoved the sandwich into the slot that's what
happened um that's the good old days damn good old days indeed speaking of the good old days
uh there was a trailer dropped because Glover the n64 3d platformer is coming to steam
um and i know you uh 3d n64 era platformers were uh not exactly catching your attention
i have not i have heard only like moderately positive things about Glover i've heard i've
heard uh so Glover's not one of the ones i played but uh i have uh heard good things as well the
people i know that no i know i know at least two people that love it like it Glover's not like
quest 64 we're like every single person i've ever talked to about quest 64 is like oh that fucking
thing um i know i know i know at least two people that are like fuck yeah Glover so there's
excitement around this um however uh it seems like there's i'm not i don't have the full
understanding of this but it seems like the company that's bringing it back is uh being
called out for some some bullshit because it seems like nft shit well one there there's that support
but uh also in addition there's the part where um it seems like they have a it's
pico interactive and it's and it sounds like according to like just some twitter threads
i'm looking at they have purchased the rights to unfinished games and then they changed those games
themselves and don't release like the original that was purchased for the with the rights
archivaly cool um and then have like had arguments online about like you know what the
merits are of like preserving things as is versus them making changes to it and then uh i believe
that also leads to like uh possibly i'm seeing hints at like them going after people as well who
are trying to preserve the original versions of some games so it seems like the Glover thing is
unfortunately marred with some some shit that i'm like right there i'm like three or four pieces
of bad news that i'm like do you know that game cartridge is made out of baby seal eyeballs and
i'm like yeah okay sure give me the xbox i'm like i'm like i'm like i'm like just like i'm getting
there man i'm fucking getting there yeah but they're they're they're um ethically harvested
baby seal eyeball um yeah no it's it's a bit of a weird one because i also don't again i'm
i'm bringing this up without knowing really the full history of of what is happening
with the the company but um at the very least i would say that uh i'm i'm doubt on just a basic
premise of re-releasing something classic um i think if you like re-release a classic and put
new features and or build on top of um like you know things with visual options and such that's
okay uh we've supported re-releases of things with new features in the past so that in and of itself
doesn't strike me as always bad but it does suck if you're aggressively stopping people from wanting
to preserve the uh the original versions from uh whenever they were released
game preservation is just so just it's so it's so like actively attacked
in a way that like film preservation isn't and i'll tell you why well there's a lot of reasons
why obviously money duh but beyond that but then but then there's the other part where it's like
because we're still in that like nascent period you know where it's like really the like video
games have been around for a couple decades now but it still feels like really it 90 91 is the
beginning of the the shit that people are gonna look back on with you know the post-itary crash
nintendo era and all of that is so close um that you're not thinking about it from like the point
of view of far down the line yeah we've seen the vast majority of it in our lifetime yes now the
importance of this preservation becomes way more evident as we go further into the future and when
you're looking at games that are 50 60 70 years old you know that you want to be able to show
anybody to to have a you know a museum of to look back at any of this stuff and see how games used
to be made what you know like and how like every aspect of them inside out um it just feels a lot
more like who gives a fuck when the game came out a couple years ago you know versus like long term
thinking and um people who can't think long term are the kinds that'll just dismiss this and hand
wave it and be like fuck that you never need to play it again pull the whole e shop down who cares
you know buy it later maybe or whatever i think the absolute height of the whole thing is
nintendo going uh if you pirate nintendo software will kill you and you go well could i buy it they're
like no stupid shut up perish like oh okay um i'm i'm gonna steal it then well now here comes
did you oh you opened up that rom zip file and here comes a hand with a gun just pointing at
like fucking jojo yeah and it's a zapper but it's got real bullets
shit and if you're installing i only remember yeah yeah and if it's an exe file you've already
fucked up mm-hmm you're already mining for crypto too late
it's like man like linked to the past is great but my hard drive won't stop screaming
that's weird huh was it always like this uh back on this nest was it was was
with this nest used to scream in agony um anyways uh a couple other things going on did you know
breaking news everybody shut up
amazon luna has launched
the luna has launched now available
are you serious dead serious it's out even i didn't even know it's out when is it when did that happen
it happened yesterday
oh my god now now there's been invite only early access since october 2020
so it's been happening in the background but um starting this month uh yeah luna is out and
here's what's going on and this actually is like this is what i expect to see so this is this is
not your google stadia this is your amazon luna this is so amazon luna means that if you're a prime
member you get free games dmc five right there dmc five top of the pile and that's if i hey listen
if i'm thinking about buying a new controller to play with my cloud gaming service let me tell you
the first game i want to play is the balls to the wall intense frame perfect action game devil may
cry five i was about to say i am so happy that such a perfect benchmark exists you need to see
games that you can immediately just here's what you do grab that someone who has the balls because
i don't grab that luna pop open dmc five and show me your perfectly timed judgment cuts
show me them let me see them and and i want to know how that feels hold on a second hold on a second
amazon.com slash luna prime gaming play free with prime play rotating selection of games for free
with your prime membership such as devil may cry five up to march 31st not available please
log in with a us-based customer account to continue business team and child accounts are not supported
well there you go us prime subscribers specifically dmc five observer fogs flashback
and immortals phoenix rising in what is absolutely wild the first stream that is being shown on the
amazon luna page for dmc five it's his hitchhiker modding virtual bullshit on pc right now
yeah hell yeah like don't show this on screens got my bookmarks but woolly this is what the
fucking luna page looks like it's how yeah hiker hell yeah like console prompt open
fuck do mod this virtual bullshit mod this shit out of that pc version showing off the
xbox controller god hell yeah good shit luna that's awesome for the world to see so that's
it um you know it blows my mind because i gotta talk to gene about this you remember gene was the
guy who made the destiny gif at the stadia thing where he just slapped this press bar hey just
press oh my god i gotta see if he's got any of these because oh fuck now now that being said um
i do like the fact that like you're gonna get uh so yeah the idea of prime membership giving you
things like that like here's a bunch of free games like a being a game pass kind of thing
rotating titles um every month or so uh that is one of those things that's like i can absolutely see
just like someone who's like try someone who's just like i want like let me just buy
something for my kid to play like here seven-year-old play these games you don't care what they are
after four weeks they'll you know what i mean just like a basically like ipad clickers type of
shit i can see that being here's a controller connect and play some stream games you don't
give a fuck about the the responsiveness or any of that shit and like that's the person who's
gonna be satisfied with this um i outside of that just show me the death note like timer on this
i'm gonna call it two years stadia lasted longer than we thought but i feel like stadia did this
weird thing where they actually killed it behind the scenes long before they let us know but does it
count if it exists as those who live in death yeah it does because like if stadia is amongst
those who live in death i don't know if i count that the the way that i feel about it is the
moment that it dies is when all the advertising just disappears and advertisements stop uh so yeah
and sorry and uh new announcements just completely stop and nothing ever gets announced again
because for stadia that was like a year ago that was a right so like luna is gonna
they're gonna push it and you're gonna see it on your on your twitch thing and the day
that i go to amazon or twitch and the little pop-up stops telling me to try amazon luna
is the day that that thing has been given up on internally
that's the actual lifecycle sure i i just i want us i want to see if there's a way to just gather
that data to be like how many of these sales are going towards like x stadians who just believe
who carry the torch you know i think there's gonna be a big a big venn diagram of x stadians
involved amongst the lunarians let's call them um and then the other half is going to be a
bunch of tired parents they're just like yeah okay who cares play some games leave me alone
here's a controller five bucks a month whatever
lunatics i mean it's right there right it's right lunatics yeah it's right there yeah all right
all right uh rest in peace stadians long live lunatics
damn this shit just it launched man oh my god
what an absolute
how they i don't i didn't even know when i typed in amazon luna i got a bunch of articles that
were like here's what the luna is going to come with in the future instead of the luna is out now
between the google shit and the amazon ones like i feel like at least as we said like if stadia
just existed as a a labs project google is the kind of company that has the ability to just
take these things and dissolve them into background research things and they they can be you know
repackaged for corporate use or whatever the fuck but like amazon's game commitments have
all just constantly gone nowhere and it's like you don't even get that salvage you know so i want
to tell a story that just happened i i scrambled to twitter while we were talking about this and
i asked gene park from wapo gene did you do you have hands on with the luna it just happened
and he responded with what did you find the elden ring secret ending i don't know who that is
and i had to clarify that i met amazon luna perfect that's where the luna is at
and you know what else i want i want to see right when when when it's all dead and buried
i want to see how many people subscribe to how many channels because if you've forgotten remember
that this is the streaming service that has the channel service scheme where you can buy
the basic best ofs of their main games or whatever for five bucks a month but then there's an ubi
games channel for five bucks a month or a capcom channel for five bucks a month and each company
has a subscription of its own the ubi games channel might be the single shittiest deal
i have ever seen in any subscription in my life here's what you get with it assassins creed valhalla
far cry six assassins creed odyssey ghost recon rainbow set like all the far cries and assassin
creeds and watched and all of them and i'm like you mean ubi soft the games that take like eight
shit hundred hours to play and are boring good use of a monthly fee show me how many people even
bother you know with more than one of these services um yeah i again though i think that
like keep an eye on this type of this template i should say because um you're not this is not
this is not just going to disappear completely you're going to see this type of template again um
if not with streaming then with things in the future down the line uh that are more
resembling of like game pass you know like i i do see a version of these types of
game like gas applied to the entire console consoles as a service um digital only monthly
membership but not streaming it'll be downloading it yourself whatever the case is but um we can
but the subscription models and such like we might end up seeing an industry that
leans in this direction um and finds some kind of market i think so
it's gonna it's like
i still remember what happened when i gave my nephew a fucking switch he said oh cool a real
video game and like i got listen i'm gonna give it the one of these a shot in this house at
some point with the fibrous internet of all yeah and it's gonna be fucked i've played
PlayStation now and there's like a full second of latency on every button press it's fucking
worthless and and i know that as as someone who um has reg who regularly uses parsec and and there
are people that organize parsec tournaments and things there's there's something here it's not
a complete wash there's something there but it needs to be perfect it needs to be completely
completely perfect um i still why which is why i don't think this is gonna go away completely
you know my favorite version of this by far is is Diablo three gotta be online also there
isn't a single server in the entirety of canada so you're connecting to new york at best
300 milliseconds of fucking lag on every single fucking action forever
just can't play it offline whoo yeah get the little taste of what it means to live in australia
oh yeah god bless fucking uh racist netcode god bless you know the prejudice blitz netcode um but
but uh uh parsec working means that there is something whether or not these services know
what to do or how to do it there is something and and um it'll come back around again you know the
but uh amazon and google might not be the ones to do it despite their uh investments you gotta
hold the controller at least once though just to just to know just to know anyways uh luna launched
and uh there you go did it
i need one of those little like party things they're like
yep how stadia fan doing anyone check in they're dead
anyone check in on stadia fan no they're dead uh what about what about reddit slash stadia
yeah well they found a belt and they heard about another way they could uh a new game
yeah a new a new a new game a new streaming game has just come yeah they heard they heard that if
they if they did it real good they could play in the clouds
damn that game must be amazing must be a really good game holy shit that game must be the best
shout outs to google the word stadia to googling the word stadians and the number one result is
still we might be in trouble stadians
and it's so it's so fucked up because all these cloud gaming things all they need to do
literally is be like this is i'm playing from here this is the server in such and such on consumer
grade cable and they hit the jump button and the character jumps and uh that gets confirmed by
an outside source to not be bullshit that's all they need to do that's all they need to do
shut up breaking news number one top post on the stadia subreddit markiplier is defending
stadia on his new distractible episode everybody's happy
all caps all right look we got we got a damn
damn dude they're alive they're alive and kicking kicking and coping at least a couple of them are
at least a few and not one post on this front page is is talking about the luna
that's crazy is there a different luna community that's actually like
fuck these guys no no hold on
the luna community is made up entirely of those fucking weirdos that listen to the
jeffrey bezos song on loop
there's no oh wait r slash luna cloud gaming
okay here we go
i don't not as active not as active oh yeah oh yeah they're in there dual shock four won't
work on mac luna uh account type not supported ps4 l1 and l2 seem to not work for me in dmc5
oh windows app not working
ps4 controller recognized but unresponsive dudes they're in here they're here they're talking
about it oh i found it that's oh you did it you found it you did it
was thinking about canceling my sub but now i think i'll keep it if they do 4k will the price
remain the same i mean like i feel like an archaeologist dude like it's it's it's here
how long before i get booted out of a game for inactivity
all right here come on let's podcast um oh back to podcasting hey the steam deck came out
steam deck came out gaben did the drops apparently it's good apparently people are very happy with
it all i care about is how it runs uh uh games when you plug in a stick and a monitor and leave it
on a desk probably pretty well and just treat it like a fucking box that'll you know be a portable
setup i hear that you can fucking pirate the shit out of nintendo games on this thing
how's the d-pad how's the stick uh the stick had drift issues but that was a bug not
actual issue with the yeah it was not a hardware issue was a bug
okay okay weird um because then the the other question is like is the d-pad made up of an
actual cross or is it uh i don't know for is it four buttons you know
because uh yeah that feel matters that feel matters um oh somebody going through that luna
thread says uh that uh somebody in that thread says they got kicked out of the game watching cut
scenes in yakuza because of course they would those things are fucking long i mean like man
immediately underneath that is xbox one controller issues oh yeah good good so you know i don't know
a little confused can someone explain to me how amazon has their name on two games that have
been released in the last six months but neither are on their gaming platform
because i mean they say stadia is dying which it probably is but amazon isn't even releasing
their own games on their platform shows how much they care both of those are mmo's which are already
a latency sensitive genre i cannot even imagine how much of a mess cloud streaming and mmo would be
someone in the chat asks what the fuck is luna literally don't worry about it
it'll go away in 18 months your life is currently better don't worry about it
also you know what there was there's a long time watcher of our stuff that contacted me
like a year ago and said they had their hands on a luna controller apparently it is like
the worst piece of shit ever that does ring a bell now because they do like i said they had
closed invite only closed invite only since 2020 yeah apparently it was like astonishingly bad like
worse than the uya which to me holds the top record of anything i've touched i have a 400
meg download speed 16 meg upload speed on a 5g network tried to play judgment but it was essentially
unplayable as it kept freezing every half second along with leaving a terrible frame rate
turned the video quality down to 720p and it was still bad any tips to improve connection stop
well anyway apparently oh no i just found out that apparently when the luna got announced
i did the exact same thing about the ubisoft bundle that i did just 10 minutes yeah you did you did
oh no oh i'm like a human skinner box input in output out
yeah we've actually talked about that too and about how it's it's all it's all predictable
um yeah half of this this luna reddit seems to be support oh good it's it's just half tech support
oh goody what a good sign
okay hold on today was my only day off all week so i got up bright and early at nine and started
playing odyssey which i've been playing for the first time and really enjoying i played
until about three four when the server crashed and i had gone from 26 to 34 and had done a
ton of fucking quests and now i'm on the grindy-ass part of the game where i'm trying to gear up
and level to 45 so i can kill medusa and the lion to get the artifacts after waiting all day finally
at midnight i'm finally able to log in and it gives me this message that says that the cloud
saves might be fucked up and lo and behold my last save is from level 26 despite numerous manuals
saves along the way
i want to cry has anyone else lost hours of saves and paid material
oh
the ten dollars worth of helix credits and gear and weapons i bought to
fucking just gone i'm livid fucking livid fuck amazon don't support their shitty company
their shitty gaming services you can get these ubi's on on nvidia g-forced and won't worry about
their shitty tiny catalog can't even world's richest company can't keep up with my fucking god
damasassel's crew save he purchased actual money and then probably like consumable items or
or like a look or for his character or do fancy horse or whatever the fuck and the cloud save blew
it up oh and that's gone that's a legal problem damn hold on a minute money out of your pocket
okay so the question then like i'm just thinking about this in a service uh uh uh uh approach
like if you do not have a button in your history somewhere to re redeem
something to make sure that it activates and if it's already activated then it would not repeat
itself but yeah but but the the the fucking uh uh let's say it's assassin's creosity right it doesn't
need that fucking button because those purchases are actually not in the game they get transplanted
out to the account level for sony uh microsoft steam whatever yes and those are rock solid
for this so the game doesn't have to worry about that but because it's being clouded out
yep and it's being attached to the save file instead of a central anything now the game itself is
running on this yeah yeah but the game doesn't have anything for because it was decided for the
other platforms where this isn't this is like a compliance failure for something that might not
have compliance well compliance only applies to the rules that the hardware manufacturer decide
themselves which if this got through this means that it there's no fucking compliance
because there's no standard
okay this is where we'd have a meeting and sit down and go okay guys how do we how do we tackle
this bug um but anything system service level like that oh yeah so so here's what it is here's
what it is now here's what it is man you have to have a history button kind of like with your 360
when you would go back to your list of purchases it has the same thing it's your library everything
in your library is just there and and you have to be able to re access it reprock it whatever it is
and if it's a one-time purchase that gives you 200 stupid fuck coins then um you need to make sure
that like if you lose a save that enabled that even if it was a one-time purchase that can be
repeated you don't let a corrupted cloud save fuck you over of microtransactions because exactly
that could be legal that could be an absolute legal issue if you if you're just taken away from you
what if you spent way more than that what if it's a huge thing you know um my god that's a huge issue
oh that's a wolf wolf you know what you know what i can see do you know what i can see right now i
could see a zoom call right between somebody it would be soft who would care about this
and the amazon luna person right that is assigned to be their liaison and i can see hey we need to
talk about uh license uh redemption and uh player history and the luna goes guy goes what was that
and then the the ubi guy pulls out a belt as i'll be right back if you'll excuse me
uh man
calm down it was a catastrophic outrage people lost real money people are gonna lose their jobs
it infrastructure isn't easy it's not beta early access at that oh if you're this triggered by an
outage like this maybe you're not really prepared to be part of an early access gaming platform
hey maybe ten bucks isn't a is a big deal to op he paid for something and he deserves what he paid
for
holy shit reddit luna let's go
stadiums out luna in oh damn dude i think there might be more overlap than we thought
oh man if you're this triggered by an outage maybe you're not prepared you're not ready man
oh fuck dude wow the state the state of it on day one lunacy absolute lunacy the luna thing is
just so it's right there it's right you don't have to you don't have to work at it you just
you just it's just right there
just get the get the gas mask on and just huff it man huff it
yeah so it was an aws shortage and then like everything affected by whatever amazon servers
go down is is possibly gonna include shit you've spent a bunch of money on if you're
buying a game with tons of micro in it man oh my god you know i just got reminded i was checking in
on something elton rings out and we're playing a lot of that but if if you want to do soul's
coverage fucking stranger of paradise is out next tuesday oh yeah
and it's the other side of the soul's fucking coin of like you want to fucking fight your ass off in
these levels okay well um i mean the only other thing i was gonna talk about um besides paying
the proper nod to um the new uh ducati ducati e-road bike oh yeah
yeah well yeah there's a new there's a new fancy bike from ducati
yeah really what's what's what's special about this new ducati bike well um let's just proper
shoutouts to to mom over on twitter so ends the age of fire long live the age of dark
the ebusy is dead long live the x bus there it goes the ebusy bus the ebusy van is gone
and now presenting the new ducati e-road bike the fuda high performance limited only 50 made
we're ready to go the long distance challenge climbs with you also introducing the fuda l e
for the most serious riders
like this i still think the ebusy is like will never be topped because
like it got announced and the fact that we're not even say e-busy which is what the things
actually clearly supposed to be your brain just auto targets the different pronunciation calls it
the ebusy
long live the age of dark
single google a single google search from anyone from anybody i mean you say that but i'm just like
nah someone in the office did what knew and was snickering to themselves
and they're like how far is this gonna go oh all the way huh okay
oh god ebusy we hardly knew ye and now the loathsome futa
all right well good times folks i don't know what it is with
strange european vehicles and they're completely absent minded naming conventions but i i'm i'm
fucking i'm living for it i'm a retweet that shit thanks mom
and then yes no the the the last thing i was gonna say was if you're looking forward to
star wars eclipse please look forward to the next five six who knows because the expected release
is 2027 possibly 2028 why is it so far off well it seems like there's difficulties hiring staff
for the project over a chronic dream uh back in december there was 60 positions open for new hires
to work on the game uh that has since gone up to 67 wait the amount of new hires demanded
has gone up that's correct so uh not only has there not seemingly been a single position filled
here but there's in fact seven more now i heard i heard just stuff about them like not being able
to get their engines to work right with the thing they wanted and how the game's supposed to have
multiplayer and like not a single person at the company knows how to do anything to do with multiplayer
i'm i've seen things and i again i don't know the the you know how verifiable this is but
that the the goal was that this was going to be a long-term project and that announcing it this
early was with the hopes of attracting new talent but that that seemingly backfired and is not working
because otherwise that's a really absurd time frame to announce something ahead of
um but again like uh who the fuck knows but it certainly doesn't help when your studio is in
the news over a bunch of lawsuits for treating your employees like shit wait are you talking
about the quantic dream that uh actually wanted to get bought after detroit but because of all
those lawsuits it hurt their pr so much that they couldn't find any buyers anymore yeah i'm talking
about the quantic dream that has been uh described as currently under years of sexual
harassment and toxic workplace culture mm-hmm so yeah just that game might as well be cancelled
right now i mean depending on what you mean by cancelled it might have already have been considering
that following the reports relief the the reported release delay hashtag blackout star wars eclipse
began trending on twitter so yeah um hey star wars they're not gonna make enough progress and then
sony's gonna pull the light that's not sony disney's gonna pull the license hey star wars
the someone else
trailer had some stuff in it that could be interesting someone else
that seven to eight years like like no not seven to eight years rather four five years
is like isn't that is that not at least like an entire new trilogy plus perhaps two or three shows
depends on the studio like the state of star wars five years from now is going to be a completely
different landscape from wherever it's at that's no they're they're gonna they're gonna completely
utterly fail milestone one and milestone one might fail so badly that they're like what do you
got for us and the answer is nothing and then so and then maybe they'll fail milestone two
if disney's that nice but then they're gonna pull it for sure milestone one what do you got
a shitting dick in balls with a lightsaber oh that's good that's good i like that
cool wall would love it yep is that it uh david that's it that's it cool uh keep
pass me that belt i'll be right back i'll see you guys in five no no no the mickey mouse one
yeah i i don't know what to tell you except for just like really like the trailer showed off some
star wars stuff that could be interesting it it really did it just please find another
receptacle listen for those ideas it says a lot that it is my opinion and i'll i'll ask you for
yours obviously woolly but you show off the cg trailer as a hope to get more people hired oh
that's the move yeah to me that is literally nothing exists of this game um in terms of builds
yeah perhaps yeah like they're like they're made that there's probably some pre-production
like asset work or something like that but like as well so it's it's a disney game right it's a
fucking star wars game that's a brand that like make like there's no way that there's not already
a giant script a giant gdd and tons of research into the characters and things that they're thinking
about using but in terms of like booting anything up and playing it pressing start yeah uh
fucking five years out i wouldn't expect it probably not even a gray box you know but
certainly showing off a trailer and that's basically like hey animators programmers star wars fans
if you want to be part of this project you know you know where to come look and everyone's like
eh i i i could i could i could deal with working somewhere where i'm not going to get uh this
kind of shit happening you know wait is it wait hold on you guys seem nice this is a good salary
is this uh is that guy over there the guy who got like who cried in court
is that him
that that too whooped him yeah him that it was isn't he that guy i read no no no no no no no no
no that's games for the for the homos no that's no no no the court crying no you're that's that's
caved it over there hey david yeah why i could say oh i think it is that guy no that's caved daige
nope it's not him
i um
i don't know how that guy's career could possibly go after the quote of like we don't make games for
women and slur for gay people like friends friends yeah like yeah wow well so here's the thing right
once um star wars pulls out if that happens i don't know how you bounce back from that
that might be that might be that's that's a couple years uh fucking getting annihilated in one
but that's wishful thinking at the same time i don't know if it's actually gonna hit that that
point but it's not looking good folks so uh please look forward to the continued updates as somebody
keeps an eye on the eclipse let's take some letters hey if you want to send in a letter
send it into castle super peace mail gmail.com that's castle super peace mail at gmail.com
david cage is the third d of dnd that's really funny that's really good
and those guys just ruined everything for themselves possible
what what are you what are you losing it well you i see you losing it what are you losing it for
because my brain is trying to think of the floating QTE button prompts around as the belt
is hooked up because you have to you have to balance staying conscious while keeping the rhythm up
so it's a it's a multi prompt challenge there's a lot going on you have to hold both triggers
and then hit triangle to choke and circle to jerk while balancing the controller
and the gyro must stay balanced otherwise you black out because so you need to keep you have
to keep that part steady it's rough but the vibration continues to increase in intensity
uh castle super beast mail at gmail.com
we got one coming in from remerai how you doing hey man what's up
oh dear woolly pat and bob the invisible monster when i was a wee lad my sisters and i
would play games on floppy disk on my dad's computer they're mostly forgettable distractions
and i remember this one isometric game where you searched a field of cubes for your friend
while big spiders or maybe ants were trying to kill you uh that's a vague description because
that's all i remembered uh no name no company no year just a simple game i thought i would never
see or play again much later i realized the game was ant attack released way before i was born
uh are there any games from your childhood that you can vaguely recall
or made doubt ever existed at all
ooh i feel like we answered something similar to this but maybe i'm just having fake deja vu
um but i have one because i i think i remember bringing this up on the podcast before and people
did have an answer for me but there was a game that i played back in those days where we had
the floppy disks and the installs and shit and there was that big old box of alone in the dark
with the 30 disks or whatever the fuck it was but one game that was already installed on the 386
that we got was wait was it a 386 no it was the pentium like there was a game that was already
installed on the pentium we got and it was a um alone in the dark style tech control game
but you were playing as a little girl and you had a little brother and you were stuck in rainy ass
gray london and or somewhere in europe i think it was london though and there were like
mean creepy adults out that we had to like run from and i think some monsters as well
but um i for the love can't remember what the fuck game that was
i don't know about
i don't know about games that like i can't remember well enough to think that i can't
you know might not exist but i can't think of one game that i adored and to this day have
never been able to find a human being in my personal life who has even heard of it and that is uh
uh god a little big adventure to twinsons odyssey a game that i spent tons of time with and is a
fucking classic and just like i i can look up videos like other people have played it but like
every time i've mentioned that game i just get completely blank fucking stares
huh and that game rules now i saw someone said city of lost children and i'm looking at it
um and this looks okay no so there's something more live-action-y that's called city of lost
children and that's not it but lost children 1990s wait no that is it okay never mind no the
promotional shit was all just live okay yes city of lost children 1997 yep that's the one
that's the one it was also a film that's why okay there we go
yeah little girl black hair red dress
there you go
i mean there were a couple of games like that but i did kind of like figure them out
working with you for so fucking later on exactly um laura bow you know one of the
point and clicks from back in the day when it was like with the back when like that was
installed in a bunch of police quest games leisure suit larry and shit any you kids remember the
fucking cg rpg game called lands of lore there's a bunch of cg trailers for that
fucking thing on a bunch of game discs played for five minutes christ
and then there's a bunch of like implanted memories i want to call them because it's like
not games that i've played but games that i saw tons of ads for in game pro magazine
mm-hmm or e gm i used to see ads for fucking critical and clay mates um and high seas havoc
man i so i have the beholder too is like one of my favorite childhood games i absolutely
am madly in love with that game and like it's obviously very old and it it makes me so fucking
upset because when i go to play it on gog it it doesn't just like fuck up my video settings
through dosbox it turns my television off oh my god so i don't know what the fuck it is doing
but it doesn't want to do it wow um thanks rem got another one here coming in from skriv
who says they're woolly and pat skrivner here slight correction on battle passes a
chunk of episodes ago pat mentioned on the podcast that fortnight had a great battle pass system
adding that it created it i just wanted to call in and correct that it was actually valve
specifically dota 2 that had the first battle pass system in 2013 fortnight adopted the system
years later along with many other gas games well fortnight adopting a system is this not
surprising so this got me wondering if there's any mechanics or systems that originated with a game
that you really like but the more but the more well known game um is often misattributed
to having created it um street fighter one invented special moves in fighting games but
good luck trying to tell somebody that because street fighter one fucking sucks ass
um yeah yeah and i and uh i i've never played it but i think the one that my brain goes to is
gears of war invented cover shooting and it's yeah no it was kill switch kill switch did
hey wow i can battle monsters to each against each other so glad that pokemon invented this
no no no says shin megami tense a one back in like fucking 89 dude i will always remember seeing
the first ads for pokemon and immediately thinking it was just a new branding for monster in my
pocket oh weird that's super bizarre but it's like pocket monsters yeah and there was an
established brand of toys called monster in my pocket and the idea of that thing was just
immediately like oh they're just it's a new thing that they're like they're re-releasing or rebranding
or whatever you know and then it turned out to fucking couldn't be further from the truth
but that's that's instantly what i thought i was reading you know um yeah
and let's take one over here
from temporal dingo who says uh dear insert meta reference here fun fact back in the 1940s
the u.s air force designed many cockpits based on the average height and weight of their pilots
they soon noticed the an increase in accidents at one point seeing 17 crashes occur in a single day
the air force then thought their planes were becoming too complex for the pilots
until an internal study of more than 4 000 pilots found that not a single one matched the dimensions
of the cockpits in their gear the air force is an example of lack of empathy and design
failed to take into consideration that the average design is not what you're looking for
when creating games and gear for people who require more tailored design
with that said are there any examples you can think of or a lack of empathy
in game design led to problems with software or hardware
to come to mind the number one thing that i can think of is um every single fucking game developer
that read psychology 101 and discovered what operant conditioning is and classical conditioning is
said hey i can make players do what i want if i condition to do this thing and then didn't read
like the second page of that shit where uh if you condition people to certain behaviors it
makes them anxious and it makes dogs bite their handlers it makes them fucking freak out and
it's like oh psychologically manipulating people makes them into fucking assholes i wonder why
like these games like league of legends create just the most toxic mother fucking assholes to
ever exist and yes i know i said this already but this is appropriate to the topic step one
get them to do what you want okay cool done never mind step two what or what happens
um i think uh lack of empathy in design shows up in hardware uh whenever the game forces you
to do the claw whenever a game requires you to continue to manipulate the stick while pressing
the d-pad while continuing to press buttons on the other side of the control as well that come
like the left analog stick use the d-pad and the stick at the same time as a crime it's just like
if i say as i use it constantly in elden ring exactly and it's fucking it's it's that is not
empathetic that is cruel and unusual don't require claw moments in your games use layering you know
i mean we talked about this when we were originally discussing some of the um the stuff that hitchhiker
was doing with like what when we were talking about how to layer um dmc uh styles over buttons and
have like a basically a um a toggle that creates a layer on the controller they're already kind of
doing it with the d-pad but the fact that you you have to have these moments of clawing sucks
and the furthest version of that damage comes into play when you go to games like kittick or
uprising where the game requires you to play the stick on your left hand and stylus on your right
hand that's damage any game requiring that plus like massive dexterous quick responsiveness
and you can only really clamp down the the the the 3ds with your trigger finger your r button
or your l button rather like fuck off that's hostile use your pinky to hold the weight of the
3ds yeah it's only 400 grams but guess what your pinky is not made for that also you're gonna need
a buff pinky with that with all the wrist damage you're gonna take from the stylus i just thought
of it talking about the 3ds well you listening you talk about the 3ds the number one least
empathetic design of all time hey woolly i've got my phone right here let's say i was playing
something on my phone what would i do i would put my index middle and ring fingers on the back
of the phone and cradle it with my pinky and kind of push in on the sides with my palm and thus i
would use my thumbs and maybe the index fingers to do that oh that's a good way to hold it unless
you're playing a game on the vita that has the use of that fucking stupid back touchpad
where they want you to curl your fucking fingers on the corner like a freak
and every time i fucking pick the thing up i hit a goddamn button i get it that like we're trying
to find a way to work more buttons onto the 14 button standard layout and i felt the exact same
when you get the elite with the back nubs remember that right you put in the back nubs and i'm like
fuck this i'm gonna accidentally hit these buttons forever i'm still currently struggling
with the crouch button dismounting me from torrent when i don't want it to happen oh yeah i use i use
the i use the the elite controller back buttons all time i love it i fucking i grip the controller
to you can take you can take them off right it's like it's fine you'd take exactly so the elite
became no problem because he took off those buttons uh i wish i could put fucking crouch on the
touchpad somewhere but unfortunately it doesn't have that level of just don't just don't mash the
button well it no but it i know but it the well the problem is that this is not the first game
this is a constant thing if for the in well it's been years now page does the same thing i i look at
her running around on torrent and she goes to move the camera or move the character and she clicks
on the stick and she dismounts her torrent i'm like just don't just don't do it well we all have
different hands man like my hands on your hand it's your brain it's honestly like it's a thing
that happens even when i'm not gripping that hard it's just pushing the stick in certain directions
it goes a bit more hard than others sometimes and perhaps you know i don't press the button
well i don't know what to tell you i mean it i don't want to tell you and it's just don't press
the button yeah okay look i'll pick up this controller right now look at this look i hi i got
my hand is of audio audio podcast most of you i'm spinning the control oh my god look i'm not clicking
wow oh great you know i should i should have tried that i didn't think of not doing it i should
have tried just not doing it this reminds me of an interaction between some guy and one of the doom
uh doom eternal developers when they added the lb button shoots the ice grenade in doom eternal
and somebody said hey can is there a way to disable this i don't want to use this and they
responded with you are in control of the britain buttons that you push
just don't just don't push it just don't do it mm-hmm yep okay
i feel like um
maybe somewhere in there like making sure that i could consistently get a guile
a super input out with the down back down forward down back up forward kind of thing
requires a level of precision accuracy and force you do it like this yeah but you're
going to find yourself dropping those more often if your inputs are not clean yeah well
sports doesn't make clean inputs uh well it it does it does help over the years i mean i've
been doing this for quite a while but regardless a consistent issue i have is um unintentional l
three clicks and um yeah okay cool so by the way too hard no problem no problem so your entire
series called mind goblins just stop every single one of those things just don't do them
okay two things one yes that is actually the point of the series
like unironically literally that is exactly what that series actually is
and two this isn't a mental trap this is just calm down don't hit the button
yeah i've tried i i legitimately would just i wish the touchpad for all the space it takes up
would um would allow for a more precise placement of like like it it reminds me back when page
was streaming bloodborne a couple years ago um and when she beat ludwig she gripped the controller
so hard she like fucked up her wrists for like three weeks okay well that and she's like what's
happening she's made out of paper remember you have to remember she's made out of paper so you
might have been gripping at the same intensity but your bombs didn't just fly apart right um
but like just instead of but it's not it's not the grip so much it's it's what's happening is like
the thumbstick is it's like when i'm pressing it in certain moments and i lean it back in one
direction or i switch back to another it's not like oh you're literally you're literally fighting
gaming it it's in that moment i'm switching directions to one to the other and it clicks in
when i switch directions yeah that's what's happening that's that is actually fighting game
like your your earlier thing about the guy all super yeah like that is legitimately you using
like your d-pad muscle memory on that you know i mean you you you definitely will result you'll
get more clean inputs uh well the the soft gesture um will help with certain kinds of inputs
but some inputs like i feel you're rewarded for the harder it like the the stuff like pretzel
motions and shit you kind of just need to slam it aggressively for the accuracy no matter how hard
i slammed it i was never able to do it twice in a row that fucking motion yeah whereas no
shit like that and shit like guile you need to kind of rely on the force of the edge of the
limit of the input so that you always trace it hey you want you want an absolute fucking
opposite version of this so i stopped streaming elden ring on friday and i was like oh i should
do my fucking ff 14 dailies okay cool so i start playing uh just do any ex roulette and i fucking
get to a boss like in in the first dungeon and i fucking start sprinting towards him because i
clicked r3 to lock onto him yeah yeah and then i went to jump and selected something because the
jump buttons are different
so you know um i i just i feel that like the the the touch surface is criminally
criminally underutilized and i'll even say this too as someone who has been getting used to playing
the dual sense on with fighting games um some games i play on sticks some games i play pad
when you're going to training mode and you're doing again sharp inputs on on a dime
the ability for your thumb to hit the dual shock for touch pad was
pretty low because it was you know smaller but now that dual sense my thumb by default is touching
it right and my thumbs are big enough that the tip of my thumb touches the pad automatically
normal so when i do a quick double quarter circle i accidentally reset the training
location you know so that the other thing i have to do is immediately turn the touch pad off
and make it so that something else is reset training so let me ask you when you're holding this
yeah for me it's the the crease of the first knuckle of the thumb that is on the edge of the
controller right for you where is it the the the joint of yeah okay the same spot but your thumb
is like twice as long as mine it's very long and it's also very hard and calloused from years of
fighting game playing input um so when i rest the the the the the joint on the rest it rest it in
like a little curve right you're in a little curve straight out yep and it's usually right in the
middle or just below of the d pad right and it's that that touch pad should actually seem to be
way worse than that yeah well because because because the thing is the beauty of that right
and this is somehow i've tried to teach people like how to get quarter circles out if they're
not playing on a stick if they're playing on a d pad for example is something like where you go
hold on a minute are you trying to do a quarter circle using the top of your thumb and then tracing
that out on the d pad that's why you're having a hard time yeah no you gotta use you gotta use the
joint the ball if you exactly use the joint and then you simply twitch from down to forward
and the input's completed right you know when you need to sorry when you need to do it quickly
that's the fastest way so that just becomes instinctual um but this touch pad increasing
to be right outside the d pad range means only in training mode because in regular matches that
it doesn't do anything but that's an option that needs to turn off right away so you're
i'm just thinking of like do you remember me coming over and playing xbox a third strike
and you looked at me like i was a freaking freak because i was playing with the analog stick
yeah yeah you know certain inputs are way easier with the analog stick on that 360
720s you know there are pad players that would there's a plant ruler named van geef who just
like dropped to the stick for that one move and then go back to the d pad yeah it's much easier
you know but that's it plus the controller itself also the the dual sense touch pad
is actually more sensitive than the dual shock for you know i've noticed that yeah it's made to
recognize like much lighter inputs as well so all of this leads to some unintended inputs
uh yeah there you go big old answer to the question all right all right time to get back
to Elden Ring that's four hours we're out