Castle Super Beast - CSB 168: I’m Starting To Morb
Episode Date: May 24, 2022Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps It's Morbin Time Multiversus Is Legit Dr Strange 2 Impressions (Very Light Spoilers) Coward Execs Want a Smaller She Hulk Diablo Immortal Ca...n Go To Hell You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://stitchfix.com/superbeast to get $20 off your first purchase. -- Go to http://shopify.com/superbeast to get a 14-day free trial. Final Fantasy IX animated series will be presented for the first time this week at Licensing Expo in Las Vegas At one point, Final Fantasy 15 was going to be made by Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy developer Electronic Arts was set to merge with NBC Universal but the deal fell apart last month. EA has also had talks with Disney, Apple and Amazon Norman Reedus on Death Stranding: “We just started the second one” Coward execs demand smaller She Hulk A new #Daredevil series is moving forward at Disney+ NFT Inafune predicted Battlefield 2042 Is Losing 128 Player Game Mode Breakthrough Shifting to 64 Players Due to Player Count On May 19
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Rio de Janeiro
Good afternoon, Willie. How are you doing today? Not too bad. Yourself?
How are you doing? I feel great, Willie. I feel great.
What makes you feel great? I've finally gotten to take a look at
Movie of the Century. Oh shit, hold on. Morbius check. How are we doing?
I am fully morbed out as of right now. Okay, okay. I didn't I didn't realize that.
So the check fails. The check fails. Damn. I late last sometime in the afternoon yesterday
I offhandedly mentioned that Morbius was the number one movie on Apple TV, which it is.
It is in fact number one. This is true. And Paige like sprinted out of the room to grab her iPad.
And like I was playing FF 14 and she's like it's downloaded. Okay, we're doing this.
Man. Yeah. That is definitely the Morbius movie I've ever
warmed. Has it? Is it in fact the Morbius of all? Hmm. Hmm. I I don't I don't I so to
predate this, I really need to say that in my whole past week of streams, I've had
moments where I lose 30 seconds, 90 seconds, five minutes here, because I
remember reading that chainsaw man edit, where denji and a girl go to a movie marathon, and all
the movies are boring, except for the last movie. And it cuts to like a black and white
Photoshopped, like vampire Jared Leto face with the text, I'm starting to morb. And then the two
characters from chainsaw man look at each other and they start crying. It's like, I'm gonna
remember that that moment in my whole life when you morbed out on all those guys. So like that,
that was like just burning hot in my mind. I mean, God bless and shout outs to the moments
where you just sit down and you kind of have a moment in life where it's like time to sit down
and just watch or experience a podcast segment. You know, yeah. But also, so Morbius is that is in
this bizarre state, where everyone's having so much fun with it, because no one's seen it and no
one actually even knows what happens in the movie. Like no one has a goddamn clue what happens in
the movie. I saw the poster and I saw the cave and I'm like, Okay, there's a cave and he morbs in
the caves. And then and then there's like the dancing British man. And then yeah, what's his
will grant? That's not his fucking name. The Doctor Who man Matt Smith. And then he's the only
one who's like facing you on the poster. While everyone else has their back turned. And then
his eyes are in the sky.
I I mean this without irony, without exaggeration, unironically. This is one of the shittiest
movies I've ever seen. I'm going to put it above the last airbender. In terms of like saw it in a
theater style movie. Okay. Like, like, we know we can go back to the jokes in a minute guys, but
we like there's there's there's fun to be had in the actual movie. Okay, okay. There were at least
there were like three times where we had to pause the movie and rewind it because we didn't
understand what was happening in the scene kind of like bad movie. Okay. Um, like the editing was
not like, like, like, there were two that I can think of right now in which we're sitting there
going like, wait, what? What happened? What? What was that? What? Why? Why? And we did a we did a
thing that we only we do this if we're watching like X files or if we were watching fucking, you
know, Seinfeld, for example, where the big the second act turn happens in San X files episode, and
you tap the screen to see exactly how much is left. And you're like, that's right, it's the 20
minute mark. Yeah, okay. Six minutes before the second batch of commercials. Right. And we were
doing that. And the one that got me is I'm like, Paige, how much time of watching this movie? And
the answer was 10 minutes. The answer was you did you did the tap. Yeah, like, we've been watching
it for 10 minutes, the status of a one hour and 45 minute runtime. Okay, okay. So that's a new one
because I guess you had to look at your watch back in the day but no one did. Yeah, but with
videos like the what the fuck just happened and where are we in this video file? That's good. So
yeah, okay. So like every every part of this screams like mismanagement. You've probably saw the
trailer for Morbius, which is him going to the Batcave and he puts his hand out and the bats are
there and he cuts his hand. Warping up. I'm gonna go through the first like 10 minutes of the movie,
because the first 10 ish minutes of the movie were so legitimately confusing that me and Paige had
to stop the movie and discuss what scenes had occurred in what order, which is not a great sign.
So the first scene in the movie, well actually before that even, you get to in association with
Marvel Pictures opening credit scene. By the way, we are now 10 minutes into the podcast. I know,
I know, I know. So in this time frame. Yeah, I don't know. Well, seven audio 10 stream anyway.
Okay, great. So to in association with more pictures and like I don't maybe it's psychosomatic,
but the in association with Marvel Pictures seems really big on the text. Yeah, yeah. Okay.
The first scene is the scene from the trailer with the bats. He's got busted legs and he's got his
canes and he goes down to the Batcave. And then he sees the bats and he goes, I'm a morb. Morb me up.
Blood on his hand and he's capturing bats. Okay. The next scene is him as a child. And it's him in a
hospital for for children with horrible blood diseases, of course. And he saves his other
friend's child life that has a blood disease by being a super genius and repairing a million dollar
dialysis machine with a pit with a piece of wire from his pen. And his his fake hospital dad says,
I took a team of scientists to build this fucking thing. And you fixed it with a ballpoint pen.
Michael Morbius, you're a genius. You need to go to New York and be a genius. And then he tells his,
his, his blood friend, he says, I'm going to go be a genius. Okay, dawn of the first morb. It then
that was the first one. That was the first one. That was the first morb. Yeah, it then smash cuts to
him at rejecting a Nobel Prize. And this is where it starts to get really confusing. Okay, because
the first thing out of the presenter's mouth is like Michael Morbius has his doctorate at 19. And for
the incredible work and here we're going to give him the prize and then he denies it. And the the
makeup they have on Leto to make him look sickly, like I can't tell how old he is. So I thought he
was like 19 or 20 in that shot. But then he goes back to the lab and he has the bats. And so that's
that's when me and Paige stopped the movie and I'm like, wait, we just had the start of the movie
and then a flashback to him as a child and then a flash forward to after the start of the movie.
But I thought it was I thought we were building up for like 30 minutes to him going to get the bats
because he's explaining his fucking vampire thing. So okay, so you're in teenage years, but the
teenage years flash back to the kid years so that you and then you go back to the teenage years.
I don't know. And this is where we start running into the problem where it feels like the room
where characters exist to walk on the camera and go, Michael Morbius, you're such a genius with
your synthetic blood. You saved my arm in the war. Thank you, Michael Morbius. I'm going to leave.
And there's a little sick kid that's in the scene in the movie for like six minutes to show you that
Michael Morbius is the most caring physician in the world. Just more than my job. Just more than
and and and here's where the money the movie broke for me and Paige. It's the 15 minute mark
in which his assistant Martin catches him in his lab experimenting on bats. And he's like,
I got to do the with the blood. I got to do a thing with the bats. It'll cure me, right.
And the the the sidekick lady just goes, but at what cost? And it's like,
do you know you're in a comic book? Was there anything to indicate that? Like I've created a
new cancer medication, but at what cost? Okay, was there any indication that there was any reason
to ask? Yeah. All right. And then cool. And this is this is where I'm going to stop talking about
the specifics of the movie because this is the moment where I was like, Oh no. And then
he Paige described in a tweet that it's like the worst pseudoscience I've ever seen in a film.
And I agree with her. He's like looking at bat DNA. And he's like, the bats can do the coagulants
and that can cure me, right. And he's talking about vampire bats, not the vampire bats of
the South American place that he was at, just vampire bats, right. And he goes, well, vampire
bats are the only creature on earth that have evolved exclusively to feed on blood.
And Paige and I just sit there go that. No, that's not true.
Uh, what is a mosquito? What is a leech?
Like, what? It's one of those things that's just so flat wrong. I'm like, no, that's wrong.
That's that's what's a tick.
See, what I was waiting for was for the movie to start and Morbius walks into the bat cave
and he holds his hand out and then the little text at the bottom says March 2020.
Yeah. And then and then the movie continues and they definitely want to remind you that every
newspaper everyone is reading is the Daily Bugle, of course, calling it out by name and putting it
dead center. He definitely wants the the the most uncharismatic FBI agents I've ever seen in a movie
go, wow, this is just like that thing in San Francisco.
You want you want.
Dude, we were we were 48 minutes into the movie and we're sitting there going, what is the plot?
What is what is the plot? What is what is it? Where is it going? And then the villain shows up and
then the whole rest of the movie is the villain is bad. I have to kill him.
Is his introduction getting dressed and dancing?
No, no, no, that's that he's he's he has just as much screen time as as a leto does.
Oh, wow. Okay. Okay.
He's he's he's Morbius's little blood friend from the blood orphanage.
And like, how do I put this?
There's just so there's so many like there's I it's it's so bad like every like every scene
you're sitting there going, why is this happening?
So do they do the thing to establish at any point that like he's a hero, but he's a dark hero.
He's not quite a villain. The first thing he does when he does the transformation is kill like
eight random people. Okay. So he's like, oh, it's a curse. I'm a monster. But like
the it's page reminded me that it's very common to vampire stories that vampires are
unnecessarily dramatic. And this movie has the absolute biggest problem with stakes I have
ever seen of anything and then doesn't address it. So the whole crux of Morbius is
a personal problem is that he has made artificial blood for the purposes of having a story.
And artificial blood keeps him from turning into a monster, right? But the artificial blood is
losing effectiveness. So eventually he'll have to drink red blood. And he won't do that because
he killed those people and he's a monster, right? However, he has like 30 pints of regular blood
in his lab freezer that he loses. And then later on in the movie steals a couple pints of transfusion
blood out of like a, out of like a paramedics bag. Spoil Morbius incoming. But he's like, but the,
but the artificial blood is going to run out and I'm going to turn into a monster and mean,
hey, just so just steal blood. So then, so then you steal the blood and then steal blood like,
like one, you know, those little blood bags you put up to an IV, the IV that keeps him good for
like a whole day. So just so there's what is, what is the drop? What is the problem?
Like, and then at the end of the movie, he just drives away and just forgets about it.
Like that dilemma with the blood is just gone. Does it just taste better when he bites it out?
Like, is it just, is it just cooler and edgier? Is there like a freshness to it?
It's stronger or whatever. Okay. And it also has, it also has, I don't know what to call it.
I'm going to call it a visual effects issue and a power issue. Okay, woolly spider man
in this universe even gets bit by a radioactive spider and it rewrites his DNA very similar to
Mr. Morbius, right? What does spider man get? He gets powers akin to the abilities of a spider.
He can crawl on walls with little things on his fingers. He's super strong. He's super fast. He's
agile, yada yada, right? That makes sense because he got his powers from cells and genes and whatnot,
right? I don't know what part of vampire DNA allows a man to fly unassisted like Superman
with flowing wisps of like, of VFX energy coming off of him.
And it's, it's not, and it's not a rewrite. It's just blood, right? It's just a human body with
better blood in it. It's just a human body with a little bit of vampire bat DNA. Okay.
Because like, it's not, it doesn't sound as if this is setting up the idea of like,
by the way, vampires exist and some of that is inside of him. It sounds like it's trying to do
a science vampire. It's definitely science vampire to the point where they even have a moment,
the one of the most confusing moments of the whole movie because the directing was bad.
Okay, they're sitting in a diner and his, his lady friend offers him a cup of coffee
and he goes, no, thank you. And she goes, it's decaf, you know, the caffeine and he goes to
reach for the coffee and he's like, ow, ow, no coffee. Right. And he goes, I'm not that kind of
vampire and me and Paige are sitting there going, what is the fucking relationship between a vampire
and caffeine? Like, like he doesn't need food. Food hurts him. What is happening? So we had to
we had to rewatch it twice in order to realize that she put the coffee in a sunbeam.
Okay, but, but here's why we didn't, we didn't understand because the past two scenes were him
riding a bus in broad daylight. He had a hoodie on. Yeah. But like, like they're talking in daylight
and walking around outside in daylight. So why would we now think that what the fuck it's go okay,
dude. Um, does like most of the movie just sitting there with your mouth open just like,
I don't know what's happening. Why is that why? Okay. So, so Spider-Man exists as graffiti on the
wall, right? No, that that was trailer only. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Okay. The part where the part where
Michael Keaton talks to Michael Morbius, that's trailer only. That's not in the movie.
What I will say, what I will say, and this, this, this is going to hit way harder for anybody that
watched Spider-Man No Way Home. There's a little tiny piece of the end of Spider-Man No Way Home
in the movie at the very end for like one second. The sky does a cool thing. And, and Paige was
like, what is that? And I'm like, oh, that's a thing from the Spider-Man movie. And I'm like,
okay, and she go, okay, right. And then the post credit scenes are written by somebody who didn't
know what the ending to No Way Home was. Like, like I'm watching it and I'm like,
that's wrong. That's just that makes no sense at all. And people are pointing out that the
post credit scene has since been cut to remove mentions of some characters, but not the one on
Apple TV. Oh, they fucked up the post credits and then removed it. It's wow. It is, it is nonsense.
It makes no sense. It makes no sense at all. Okay, when they wrote the post credit thing
for when they wrote the post credit thing for Morbius, like they did not know what the ending
to No Way Home was. So they just said, fuck it. And it makes it makes no sense. Okay, well, hold on
a second. Did you know my home? Yeah, I did. So tune out if you don't want to have that spoiled
for you if you haven't seen it yet. Okay, sure. We're going to spoil the post credits of Michael
Morbius right now. In five seconds. Okay, five, four, three, two, one. Michael Keaton as Adrian
Tombs shows up in the vulture outfit and goes, I don't know how I got here, but I think it has
something to do with Spider-Man. I'm thinking of getting a team together. And that seems interesting.
He's sinister sixing.
Yeah, yeah. Like Morbius doesn't know who Spider-Man is and also spent a whole movie
trying to be a good guy. So then like a minute later, why would culture from Marvel's go to
Sony for no reason? Why? Why? Oh, man. Oh, it doesn't have to make any fucking sense.
Like they literally didn't get what the end of the movie was and how that work.
Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Because of the Venom Stinger. Yeah. Okay. Okay. The Venom Stinger in No Way Home
makes sense. And the Stinger at the end of Venom makes sense. This one makes no sense. It makes no
sense. But shut up. We want to establish our sinister six and nothing's going to stop us.
I saw, I saw an interview, not an interview, I saw people talking about it's apparently,
apparently fucking Andrew Garfield like turned down the opportunity to be Spider-Man again in the
this next batch of movies. Like they wanted Garfield to come back for like Sony's fucking
Spidey Man's. And he's like, no, I don't want to. Yeah, I just like I saw a bunch of press about
that and about people going, oh man, yeah, back to the old's. And it's like,
way to just ruin what that was, you know, if your desire is like, cool, now we can just do them
all over again and keep them around. And you just completely ruin what that was. Way to just take
the wrong thing from that. The move, the movie is like astonishingly poor. Oh, man.
Like there's a, there's, there's some, you know, you ever had that feeling watching something and
you're like, I bet the director thought this was really smart. So, so like Morbius and Matt and
Matt Smith, it says name that the Doctor Who Morbius and Doctor Who are arguing and like they're
arguing in front of like a street light or like a like a sign and like no matter which way they
turn and no matter which way they're standing, the red of the street light is always on the Doctor
Who man's face. Of course. Because he's been eating people and yeah. And the white is always on
Morbius's face. That's what Zack Snyder feels every time he clicks play on an MP3 while they're
editing a movie. And you're like, yeah, okay, right. But then, but then Matt Smith goes to a club
and he's walking towards the club and the club has like a red door. And so he's walking into the
red and I'm like, oh yeah, because it's blood, right? But then it cuts to the inside and it's like
the entire wall and every single item in the frame is red except for Matt Smith. And he just stands
there waiting for an elevator for like two seconds. I'm like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, like I fucking, I
get he's a vampire. Like, fuck. Every time Superman T poses, you know, with the light of Christ
behind him. Yeah, it's that feeling. Like, yeah, it's it's just like I just couldn't get over it.
Like they're there. I swear to God, there are six conversations about I'm a monster. No, I can't the
artificial blood will wear off. I won't do that. And me and Pageson. So just drink real just drink
real blood. No, but the angst, though, the angst, like, like, like somebody gave you a blood pack
earlier in the movie and you drank it and you were fine for like a whole day. So we've established
that that's a solution. So what is what is the more like your fucking superpower, you can do
anything with the what the fuck? Oh my god. Yeah, no, that is Matt, Matt Smith, the Doctor Who man
easy winner out of this movie. The scene the scene in which he is dancing
and putting on his clothes and making scary vampire faces
unironically the best scene in the movie. Damn. Okay, not not because it's the only scene in the
movie which perfectly makes sense with what is happening in the movie. Okay, because he's like,
I love being a vampire now. This rules. I'm going to go down to the club and have sex with a lady
because I'm a cool vampire now and I'm no longer got leg blood problems. Now how's the Morb action?
Morb action. It's okay. Okay. I'm sure you've seen it. You've seen it in the trailers,
where like there's this wispy energy that comes off of the vampires. Sure. They kind of look
like Wraith like when Mr. Morbius is by himself and you know, fighting a goon or you know, whatever.
That's fine. It's got a cool look to him, you know, flowing around.
When it's the two vampire man's fighting and they're both doing it and Morbius is in black and Matt
Smith is always in white. It's a fucking mess. The final scene of the movie has or like the
big action sequence has like Michael fucking morphing out and a million bats and then Matt
Smith morphing out and like his sit and it's a fucking mess. So the fact that the Stinger
is not the only thing it should be, which is Wesley Snipes walking on camera
is a complete, I'm just confused as to how you don't nail that because it's the only thing you
could think of that you should be doing. This entire franchise should just be there to set up
Wesley Snipes basically walking in going, yeah, there were enough zeros. I took the check. Let's go.
Because that's what if you go back to fucking radioactive spider blood, if you go back to the
like it's blade and fucking Morbius and his mom and that's the thing.
It's and I regret to inform everyone that at no point in the movie does Michael Morbius struggle
against his Morb self and go, I'm starting to Morb. I'm morbbing out or it's gonna morb.
Yeah, that's the best. That's I'm starting to more is my favorite one.
That being said, like walking in with all this stupid meme shit, there are like moments in the
movie in which he is morphing out. Like, like when he gets really vampire-y and all the visual
effects go on and he starts to get super nuts like he might as well be yelling out it's morphing time.
Man, I yeah, I just like you take a trash fire like that and you just you reach out
to whatever companies in this now in this world of like crossover nonsense where the right paycheck
can solve all problems and you just promise the return of fucking blame and people will be like,
god damn it. Now I have to watch fucking Morbius to everyone will have to watch Morbius to if you
do that. I think I think it is absolutely fucking positively insane that a movie that costs $25 to
view on Apple is at the top of Apple's movie section right now purely purely due to people
like joking about the Morbius sweep and I'm starting to more pure meme value. Yeah, it's like
meme dollars. Me and Paige were talking about Morbius on Twitter and somebody hit me with a 31
second video in the in the in the tweets that was the movie the whole movie. And I saw people
getting talking about on discord how people were getting banned from discord because they're posting
the entirety of the Morbius movie in discord to watch amongst their morb friends.
Morbin meme dollars, man. Yeah, they're real. It's it's real. It's it's it's real currency.
Somebody in the chat just pointed out we're hitting B movie levels of meme. Absolutely 100%.
100%. That's absolutely what is happening.
Like it's I would I would actually say if you are the kind of person who loves to see like a just
really terrible film and like as like somebody who's like wow they made every part of this bad.
Like this is a great pick. This is a great pick because I mean it's kind of a relief to hear
that it's not middling I suppose. Oh no oh god that would be the worst right no like okay
I'm gonna use another example so there's the little girl and she's like I'm Morbius thanks
for helping me with my blood you think we'll ever get a cure is like oh I don't know they're
the little child I'm a great doctor and I'm like a Morbius I pushed myself too hard with the kids
but you know I'm a great doctor and then in in the later in the movie oh no her she's burning up
she's burning up oh no uh we gotta put her into a coma to save her oh there you go kid you're
just gonna take a nice nap you're gonna take a nice nap and then you never see that kid again
of course and I'm like what what was the point of the scene with her getting the fever in the
no it's not about her it's about was it about him was it I think it was to re-up on even though
Mr. Morbius is a monster now he's still a great doctor and a caring super Morbius
he's tortured and angsty but he saves the kids of course assuming there's one assuming that's
what happens to them who knows if it cuts away so like um all the dialogue is terrible and like
it's shit and it makes it's bad like I think the romance thing is like one of the worst ones I've
ever seen in which he just tells her to close her eyes and then walks forward and kisses her
like there's no cool line there's no he's like hey close your eyes and she's like why
he's like just do it more but um there is one there is one thing where I went okay that's
all right hey that's that's the one good one uh or he like horribly viciously beats a bunch of
counterfeiters which is one of the weirdest sets of goons I've ever seen in a film they're
counterfeiters they're counterfeiting American money in like a weird lab okay and he like viciously
hurts them to steal their lab it's very weird but when one guy's doing the very typical oh my
your monster who are you uh right uh leto gets his big monster face and goes I am Venom
and the guy runs away and I'm like ah okay all right all right that's okay that's that's cute
that's the cute thing for a person that knows that Venom is around to do
mm-hmm okay yeah no that movie sucks good good that that that movie is way way worse than I
thought it was gonna be like way worse it because it could have very easily have been a thing where
like it functions for what it's trying to do everyone besides Jared is doing fine it's structured
okay no it's just cringy Jared you know yeah no like it's like good good the script is the biggest
problem like there are long portions of the movie that make no sense like um in that when he turns
into Morbius more when Morbius turns into Morbius when he warms when he's when he warms for the
first time yeah he's on a he's on a ship with a bunch of hired goons that are there to protect
the girl that he's you know the his doctor friend um and he's like morping out in the background
and one of them comes to check in on them and she tells him to fuck off and leave
only for them to notice that Morbius has escaped confinement and is about to morb them all
and so he's killing all these random goons that he hired to be there to stop him if he warped out
like it's so fucking weird it's so goddamn weird that's that's what they want that's what
they signed up for that's a script you read oh good stuff good stuff okay so yeah i'm all i'm all
morb'd out the number one more number one movie in america um i woke up this morning and i asked
page like page what happened in that movie so i don't know i don't know
i was morbbing out so that's i don't want to i'm gonna go into my week later because i'm all
morb'd out right now okay well he what because you you're not morb'd out i'm not morb'd out
i'm not morb'd out you know what your experience with morbius is gonna be
just like five years of overtime seeing every scene in the movie out of order as people posted
on social media going can you fucking believe this shit a series of gifts yes over the over
years but like that will that will go up to the whole fucking film yeah like like i have not
watched the halo show but i think i've seen the majority of the halo tv show and can remark on
boy that thing looks like shit i think my favorite one like some guy posts some terrible
action scene it goes i mean we can all talk about the quality but we can all agree that this was
fucking crazy right and it's like it's it is unironically worse than haloids or red versus
blue or what like it is it is it is like a high budget shit death battle of mass it's terrible
consumption media consumption through osmosis basically is what i'm expecting um yeah hey can i
i just before we move on i just thought of something is there anything sadder than the person
who is like standing something and goes wow look at this and then the example that they choose is like
garbage as the highest is like is like is like terrible yeah yeah it's it's it's like there are
the two that the two that i've seen in the past like year and a half is a photo of ellie or a photo
of scarlet witch going like name somebody else who suffered more it's just terrible of course of
course yeah the equivalent of like tell me something i don't know posts you know yeah yeah it's but
the thing is too and like the important thing to realize i guess with all of those types of posts
or the ones where like that fight scene from boruto is literally the best animated fight
scene i have ever seen it is the best that has ever been made this is the peak there were
hard cuts between the faces like a dragon ball so and you're just like yeah and it's just like
like okay this is a child describing their relative experience on this planet you know
like we'll see that's that's fun because then you see in the profile picture it's them and they're
my age they're in their 30s and you're like
well what while you were morban i was i was morban while you were morban i was strange and out
i was getting some strange how's that i liked it i liked it and i managed to dodge
all the spoilers that you mentioned you you hit i'm pretty sure i've seen the whole movie
by now in gift form so it's a movie full of like big reveals of sorts and
yeah i thought it was pretty fun i liked it and i feel like the the reveals are like
so there's a thing i've been well i've been describing to punch mom every time we've gone
to see like these movies and stuff about how just like i kind of you're like over time you want to
just see them kind of like let go of the like tight um you want to see them let go of like the
the the mcu's um like uh uh kind of like babying you into like what comic book stories have been
style and content and you want also and and and even when you get referential to other things in
the universe or so um because comics don't give a fuck they just go like we're pulling with
grabbing things you know and so this movie feels like uh sam ramy basically got cart blanche to
do his thing while also going you know what you either get these references or you don't
fuck off and we're just going to throw them in there um there's going to be the obvious ones
that you're going to be like i know what that was and i recognize that but there's the stuff
where they're like yeah this is really you either know or you don't what they're going for on this
this moment this shot this reference this character and um the title of the movie kind of promises
that you're going to get shit that is going to be referential of course so um it's good that like
they don't have to kind of hold your hand through a bunch of that you know people walk on camera and
it's like yep that's that person yeah no whether you know it or not whatever we're doing it i will
say um it was very i didn't see the movie but i feel like i've seen the movie it was very shocking
to me to see a couple of the actors in that film reprise roles that i was sure were going to be
buried to time forever precisely one in particular yeah can't believe yeah they decided to go ahead
with that actor it's really interesting it's really interesting how they go about it um what is uh
honestly like i mean so yeah you know go like it's a it's a fun and mcu riot riot romp go see it you
know but um the the thing that i think i liked what i like the most about it is that like it's mcuing
right and it's oh yeah you know you're just it's doing what you expect of that um but
sam raimi gets to really inject his style and personality into it and make it horror when
he wants it to be and like his stuff is like um very very present his style is very present and
i like i like how much sam raimi you can see in it uh there was a there was a a a transitionary shot
of like a red sunset into like wong's face uh that's somewhere in the movie that i saw people
complaining like we're not in the aughts anymore raimi you don't do transitions like this and i'm
like that transition rules yeah yeah yeah yeah i know what you're talking about i know which one
you're talking about like it's so like fucking hard-headed dumb literally a circle wipe he does
a full-on circle wipe at one point you know um no it was it was fun to see that and um
like then there's it kind of feels as if like um it there's a battle between like mcu style and like
raimi horror you know kind of thing yeah and then like it and then he and then his horror desires
went out in the end you know um some of the stuff that that that goes down is very uh yeah just like
fun from from uh uh from his this sort of way and you know the evil dead vibes as well and
shit like that like it's i have a i from what i've seen raimi gets to have a lot of fun with it
with this is pg-13 right like that that that doesn't trip the r rating right
yeah um you know so that's a lot of fun as well um and it reminds me honestly it's very similar
to like civil war in that like um the moving parts can come together fairly quickly because
you're already familiar with all the pieces on the board you know so it kind of gets to just like
move along really quickly um and that was good too because like yeah it felt like a lot happened
as a result of like very minimal need for setup um and establishing in like you know the last
couple things where dr strange did stuff you know and his involvement in in you know no way home
and then the mcu in general has been like okay this is what you do this is what you're known for
um and this is how things can go wrong when you you you fuck up um it's been established that when
dr strange fucks up things are really bad massive yeah exactly you know so you can you can follow
along with that um i would say even if you've seen all the all the moments um it's still it's
still a fun series of events oh i'm sure it's just i'm in such a weird spot with that movie where
like i'm pretty sure i know what the plot is like beat for beat um i will say beat i'm gonna talk
around this real gingerly like because of its multiversal story hook they get to do all sorts of
stupid shit you wouldn't be able to do in a normal movie with this yes yes and have and have it not
matter at all yeah no user plans it was very fun to me because i remember reading um old marvel
what if comics and um they those what if comics were always like just yeah like all the crazy
shit like oh what would the like what would it be like if this happened or that happened and
there's some that a lot of a lot of the the wildest ones were in um involving characters
that are in this movie and you get to see a couple of sequences play out that are like oh oh that's
literally just doing that what if comic i read back when i was 10 like you're you're you know
because you once you once you jump into a yeah alternate realities and things you can kind of
just consequences will never whatever right yeah um i i i have a complaint about the movie despite
not seeing it um and i think it's a complaint that i've seen echoed everywhere um characters
making bad decisions matters more and more and more the more capable or competent that character
is supposed to be yes and um there's something i really there's something i really like here
that uh again i you know gotta what i'll say is this and i mean if you want it to be as cold
cold cold as possible then probably tune out so i'm not gonna um you know but um
um the conversation we had about like how goofy the end of Wanda vision was
is fixed by the events of this movie oh yeah oh yeah and i really am happy about that i saw a
really great super imposition of like the end of Wanda vision next to like a single still
from this movie i'm like oh yeah you still mean that every they'll know all those all those confusing
moments i had about where i was like what but that's and then this is like yeah exactly right so i'm
like okay fair fair you wait you gave us a little we have to wait and then it made it made perfect
sense in the end you know you know i'll tell you what the Morbius could have solved that problem
probably could have yeah like that yeah Morbid up wouldn't have had a chance um you know and i
and i do have to say uh at this point like i also like just podcast wise i'm aware that like it's
annoying when we try to have these conversations spoiler free i know that it's not the best but
like um if we both see it then we can do a spoiler cast type thing but it's just i don't you know
like i don't i don't particularly think there's a reason to just bust out like oh man it was crazy
when this happened in a movie that still like had just come out i i do understand it is kind of annoying
and and i that's that i'm just but i'm just saying like this is my impressions of it like from a like
hey if you haven't seen it yet here's what i thought was cool um and you should i think you should
check it out and then we can go into details if like we both see it and you know i i especially
think like like i get where you're coming from but at the same time i feel like we need to dance
harder than ever before yeah it's one of those movies because because uh theaters are still a
crapshoot and we're in between covid waves right now so who the fuck knows when anyone's ever
going to get to see anything yeah exactly um so uh yeah so that was that was that was part of it um
i was wow what a violently different yeah series of experiences um now besides that that was not
the only multiverse that i enjoyed this weekend okay good good so well i had this i had this moment
which it it doesn't happen didn't used to happen back when we were recording shit but now that
we're both streaming all the time i get to have this moment where i stream something now god damn it
oh i can't wait to talk about this on the podcast and then like i'm starting up and
then i'm like oh well he's already streaming yes he's already streaming the thing i wanted to
talk to him about on the podcast so multiversis uh had its closed alpha and i was um initially
planning to uh stream other games that weekend uh but same here um stuff came up the build uh
didn't come out and um you know and then and i was just like you know what here let me just
grab this code that uh that that that we i got sent and uh popped it in and you know i guess i
going into it was like all right well nicolodian came out um and that that was our appetizer that
was that was our our our expectation center mm-hmm um that and it it was all right but it had
some problems that were like clearly like a lot you know some budget and time constraints that it
couldn't really fulfill um you know lack of uh character voices makes an impact and a bunch of
stuff um some like wax stages unfortunately that you just couldn't really play on um so pop this in
and took a second to you know kind of warm up but um this game is really good man it's fun um i think
my like i'll just i'll just go through it i first of all i agree with you 100 let the but i'm
gonna hit you with the bullet points of like like getting hands on step one wow they just stole the
entire fortnight front end oh yeah that that was like that was like bullet point one of the main
menu on my wow so so so that's the thing is i pointed this out a bunch and people are like
and people are like woolly is uh uh uh confused by modern day games and it's like no it's that
with fighting games in particular when you take this approach it's a it's showing where your intent
is you know um yeah something similar came off of another fighting game we played a couple weeks
back where the front end is just doing that fortnight thing or also overwatch where it's like
here's a champion here's a battle pass here's a um a profile and then options and like the actual
like you know fight fight locally training mode stuff is like it's there but it's not as emphasized
as the single player battle pla pass online journey you know and and i'm looking at it and it's like
the font the size of the quest boxes the location the color scheming they have on the battle pass
the size of the pictures on the battle pass is like oh man they just they just stalled so that's
this wants to be terra front end fighting game yep yep it's it's clear what their intentions are
from that and like even wonder woman standing there click on her to get the line of dialogue is like
yeah that could just be mercy standing there you know exactly so then i click in through the
tutorial and i start moving around and i'm like okay you've passed the button check of it feels
good to move your character and then i start fucking around with it and i hear Matthew because
i'm playing as Matthew Lillard as shaggy and i realize oh i'm playing as Matthew Lillard as shaggy
they got the voices and then i go through training mode and i'm like that's Joe DiMaggio yep that's
uh fucking uh batman kevin conroy that's okay they got all cleared you've cleared the bar easy
like way up and above the voice lines here and there all over the place and then Tara Strong is
as fucking Harley but then i pick aria and i'm like is that actually mazy fucking williams
a real actor they they got the fucking crossover game which matters man um and then bug starts talking
shit to to fucking aria you know well the north remember that and just like all that i was like
that like bugs keeps going in on game of thrones like it's like what the fuck um it's so it is
absolutely fucking wild so here's the thing right this is the um clearly it's it's the
video game equivalent of like what space jam 2 essentially was doing as well as all the recent
movies that are all about the reference and stuff um you have no idea how right you are actually
i imagine i imagine i i hear whispers of things i hear whispers the whispers that in the full
roster there will be a lebron james i caught wind of that but i haven't seen the the the leak list
and in totality um but yeah i imagine that's the thing is of course the game you play of
we can go anywhere in the the entire wb verse it can literally be anything any movie that's ever
existed and to prove that we're gonna drop a game of thrones character into this roster
so that you know we're not just doing cartoons and we're not just doing like um warner brothers like
direct obvious properties you know yeah and that game of thrones character is gonna be the
games marth slash curbie analog right right right um the weirdest combination of play styles and
properties i have ever seen now the thing that matters the most of course is that all of this
like brand mashup stuff whatever it's like yeah you're doing your smash brothers and stuff but
the gameplay needs to be fun and i grabbed garnet and just started messing around and i was like
yeah i i like what's going on here it's fun and when you go to the move list and you see
like what each move is said and even the move list reads like the uh like a uh a moba or you
know like a 100 a team shooter like like there's lots debuffs there's all of these texts description
of their special abilities um and those things i was like oh that's interesting okay i see this
kit it makes sense and and like a lot of um you know fun details in that and then as you go over
the the move list i'm like oh this is interesting every character has extended design specifically
for team play every single fascinating everyone has like at least two moo like their neutral
B is a like this helps my partner in a major way um type of thing so the one that jumps to mind
right now is i've played a lot of finn the human boy and his neutral is a high five which is a nice
good smack with a big hitbox talk to the hand but if you're doing it in uh it's uh yeah it's a high
five and when you when you have a partner you'll lock on to and high five towards your partner
and then you'll both become projectile invincible yeah um like that's crazy it's huge nuts uh
raindog in the tutorial they show you raindog can neutral B to lasso you in and uh whereas wonder
woman just lassos you back raindog stays connected via a line and if you ever go jump offstage to
play aggressive they can yank you back before you die so the tutorial that starts the game out
encourages you to do offstage aggressive play like expert smash players because your partner can
yank you back instead of you having to worry about it you know um and then like garnet is interesting
because um yeah for her like one she has her neutral B which is literally just the um her
singing and dancing and the aura by default it's like a projectile stopper and then you can deflect
them but it also buffs anyone around in a lucio kind of way with a speed buff and as well as
armor breaking and that's like a dedicated that's like that's what we do is it helps you and your
partner together um but furthermore like she can throw out or she can drop a star on screen
which you can then like zip back to but your partner can grab that star and then they become the zip
point you know so like i've never seen they'll not just platform fighters that i've never seen
any fighting game put that much into co-op because like i mean you don't usually ever do co-op right
and so i was someone who i just want to finish the thought like as someone who like i i've grown
up and i know what i love one-on-one and duels that's my thing right this is exactly what i was
going to say i'm by default i'm like the kind of person that's like i don't want that noise give me
the 1v1 um but after seeing how much they thought it through and put work into it and designed the
characters around it i was like okay no wait i i'm i'm down for the 2v2 because you guys actually
put the work in um and designed it to like not just have it be an afterthought so then you go
and you play 2v2 which is again not my first pick i don't think it was your first pick and
you load into a smooth four player rollback smash clone of course that i had zero issues with at
all mm-hmm not a single hiccup a playing cross play the entire time we played not one you know
i mean rivals of aether you know got the four player rollback working slip you got it going of
course and like yep now we've got it happening uh here and not a single complaint about net play
it's fine so that so like combined with the fact that the game is free free 99 i mean this thing
has legs man it it's like i i was very very skeptical i i was like oh we're gonna like i
we just had the nicktoons thing i was just like oh great we're gonna have another one and like
the ui the the voices being there the good feel the good online and then i went i went through
their battle pass like i went through every single item on their battle pass to see what was in there
and i'm like there are there's good things in here like it's it's not like because it's a free to
play game right so this is one of those things that matters it's like a really bad one is terrible
halo and fucking apex are great examples of how to have just the shittiest battle pass is possible
that like just makes it a bummer whereas what's the what's the final thing you get in the multi
versus battle pass it's Jake's alternate costume cake the cat with voice it might as well be a new
character shagworth also has a completely different voice um yeah so i don't know if like the battle
pass is going to be like is it is going to if it's going to be like oh everyone gets the default one
and then you can buy a better one after uh or no no the way the way it works is very clear from that
is that you you level up normally and as you level up you get all the stuff in the free one but if
you want all the stuff from the bottom row okay you have to buy the battle pass so it's not just
like closed alpha people have an extra perk right an extra no in fact that battle pass is probably
not final they're probably going to change it okay um because nothing's going to carry over so then the
other thing that i was like i raised an eyebrow and i still kind of do but it's like as we go through
and i'm like okay perks what are perks it's like okay put your gems on drastically change your character
not just like a little touch here and there like no five to ten percent increase knockback a triple
jump skills have have weird effects on the massive huge changes like harley can aim one of her
abilities with one of the perks um with garnet it allows her to um like her rocket punch can
become a teleport star you know massive uh uh uh details there and it's like some of the minor ones
are are bigger if your teammate puts them on so there's one that gets you like a triple stacking
yes if if your teammate also has it you get like higher jumps as well so again i'm looking at this
and i'm like okay i don't like gems i don't like modifying the character right i you know but
i i can see here that it's like what you want is for people who are playing this especially
for the first time for free to enjoy a sense of progression and for them to enjoy their character
feeling like they're getting stronger right so i also want to have a situation where if i actually
shell out money to buy batman that i have different things that i can do with my one batman character
because that's the only character i'm gonna get to play for x time right so so it's like okay the
gems are in um i don't like and i don't like the idea of that but like how did how is it implemented
well it seems like by level like eight you get your first major like thing modifier to the character
and then by 10 you get the second one and essentially there's gonna be two big perks that work almost
i guess like grooves you know or you can just play without them um so but but i'm guessing it feels as
if what they're going for is the base character is a depowered version of what we intend the
competitive version of this game to look like and then once you get to those points it's almost as
if you're playing a character that they took away their super bar and then they said play up to you
know get to bronze and once you're in bronze you earn a super bar you know type of thing um it's
not what i'm used to certainly and like again i i always like try to i always think about balance
and stuff but for a new player to feel like progression is happening i can understand where
that's coming from especially it's a free game right um and at the point where people are at
like level 10 or so which i guess you get to in you know i i feel like you can get to that within
a night of playing it um i know i did um you then are you're picking between essentially two of those
grooves and then the small extra perks on the side are choosing to be you can either pick your own
lick like things or it's like i yeah i want like an art like when you respawn you don't automatically
become invincible like smash brothers unless you choose to put one of those on then it says like
you get five seconds or whatever or you can match with your partner so that you can both be in sync
with them and then stack them higher and such so they want that to be part of it as well um and
that lends itself definitely to mobas because mobas have those progression things as you go through
and then unlock more abilities each round right like um the character you play at the end of the
match is different from the character you start with right so i feel like that's their attempt in
in um capturing that feeling um yeah i mean there's other things like the the couple of
the characters were locked there was a batman superman aria and garnet were the were locked
and then you can take the points that you earned by playing and other go buy the character or
use your fight money use your fight money to buy the character to buy perks and then i'm going to
assume at some point possibly to buy uh cosmetics you know i mean it's fairly obvious that the
game's monetization is going to be a rotating series of free characters and then you buy more
characters and or costumes as you desire like it basically probably looks very similar to what
we're seeing on the screen right now um it's um it's the first of these like how do i put this
so one of the on on the on the subreddit right now there's a fucking
thread about like what's the funniest fucking blank killers you've ever seen
right and it it goes into the history of like every single game to ever ever be labeled a blank
killer has failed ever it has never succeeded ever and smartly the multiverses people are not
calling this a smash killer because i think that would probably hurt them but it is definitely
the first game that has ever tried to do smash's thing that got the money and the time
and the characters and the talent that it needed to do even reach the same height
this to me is not a smash killer it's a brawl holo killer oh well no that's a sure that's a
that's the direct thing it can it's coming for right yeah by being free to play and full
of recognizable brands which brawl hola has a bunch of robins they're getting guest characters
i see this as the action that's a brawl holo market taker like at some point during this
conversation i want to joke about the leak list which i have in front of me because warner brothers
is the like we can all uh correctly uh cry and freak out about the future of media being owned
by like two companies yep uh but in the in the narrow confines of the discussion of the roster
for this crossover fighting game uh warner brothers is probably the best pick outside of
disney you could possibly have because even the leak list of legitimately datamined names is a wide
ranging batch of weirdos and um i and the thing with this is when the game is free and then they
announced that something from a property you never would have imagined is dropping a bunch of those
fans will come check it out because why not right the same way it does how it works in fortnight
talking to uh to page about this on uh on the on stream and like the way that this works because
of light the way licensing is expensive the more obscure and who the fuck is that the character
the cheaper they are to get mm-hmm like so hey do you space ghost yeah right people who love space
ghost fucking love space ghost but space ghost isn't a million dollar ip to license for your fighting
game so we threw we threw this one out there uh but like i pretty much went like okay so john wick
joins the roster and when he spawns in a little puppy follows him like a pikmin yeah sure why not
james gandalf figure it out from there so prano sure any hbo characters grab them yeah like what
one of one of the most obvious picks that page was blown away is not in the game to the point
where i like it might be the boss is where the fuck are the animaniacs they're literally the
warner brothers and the warner sister dot yeah no the anime not be a perfect boss fight for the end
of that game the animaniacs as a trio pokemon um trainer style uh and then and then this show
the show hysteria the entire show itself where's larry david
hbo like like what like why not yeah yeah it's all it's all like even as long as the i have the
sorry go ahead go ahead i have the list in front of me i'm just let's just fly through it in two
seconds to get like the weirdos out of the way marvin from looney tunes sure lebron james wild
joker nubia raven gandalf and legolas harry potter and ron rick and morty cromulan fretland stone
of johnny bravo met max yep ben 10 king kong and godzilla neo scorpi scorpion sub zero yep of
gizmo of gremlins amit possibly from lego and or maybe back to the future either are owned by
warner brothers naruto wow yeah wreck it ralph or fix it felix and hulk the incredible hulk uh
these are all names the disney character hulk yes these are all names that have been datamined
out at some point so is hulk just again is that just a flex to say
yeah we can do disney characters too if we pay enough what the fuck
also i'm adding this personally as warner brothers owns the north american and european
distribution rights to jojo's bizarre adventure yeah sure sure
that being said i was going through garnet's moves and she has an aura around her that stops
projectiles as she sings and then she can hit those projectiles back out so garnet functionally
has the world and aura aura her tilt's attack is rapid fists yeah exactly so and then you can up
or down or neutral for her to do the full on the world uppercut or downward like it yeah so it's all
it's all you know um anyway so yeah the roster is obviously meant to be like yeah they can just do
anything and whenever they grab any of those characters it's gonna just be a massive like
publicity thing so it's got the ingredients certainly to hit like big mainstream fame
playing it online like playing with with cruise brings about all the toxicity and fun
possibilities you get those good emotions of having a match with someone else that either
is carrying their weight or not carrying their weight and then at the end you toast
which is the essentially the um it's a consumable item yeah well it's the overwatch
whatever kudos system there but like it you collect it as a consumable which then you convert
into gold to buy things yeah it's an interesting idea um i have to say like so there's two things
about this game that really show like i don't put this when a team really loves something
and they have the resources to do it it really shines through very strongly so one of which
is i don't know if you went into the audio section of the options willy uh did you see the mature
content filter yeah there was a yeah right right so it unlocks like voice lines i think that are
allowed to have swearing in them mm-hmm there's a streamer mode button there too as well
but more than that is player one is shaggy mm-hmm player like shaggy is the game's ryu and he
really is the game's ryu like he has all ryu stuff but more than that is that shaggy has his
neutral b i'm gonna call it's neutral triangle for me but whatever right is he powers up like a
super saiyan super saiyan and and the game has decided that in terms of character outlines
player one's default character outline is yellow saying yellow yes yes so that when you pick shaggy
in the tutorial and hit fucking neutral b shaggy is is is going even further beyond so like they
first thing in the game you do they make the joke in the movies and then lean into it because
that joke becomes a huge meme and then they have the board meetings where they go like they have
to explain and like someone on the other end is going so you're saying not scooby-doo but shaggy
right yeah it's like yes okay and now the second character also not scooby-doo
but velma what and it's just this is what the internet wants right um that's definitely what
the internet wants now here's the other thing that shows you uh in terms of the design as well
that's fun um and i'm seeing like again as someone who's not looking for 2v2 gameplay when i play a
um a smash clone or or a regular fighting game um when i see the incorporation of like how you
design it when i see that like you know it's it's an optimal way to play and you can do more and get
more out of your have more fun by doing things with a partner that you can't do otherwise um
that's encouraging right also one of the things we always uh have fun with is like when you see
a character come out like phoenix right in marvel 3 and you go look at a look at how fun that idea is
where you have to search for evidence and then go into turnabout mode and then use objections
to blow your opponent the fuck up right and then and then you start to play multiverses and you're
like look at that fun idea that they took from marvel 3 where you where you fight and use evidence
and yell objections and hit people with word bubbles and then call the cops and then they pull
the opponent's face off and it's old man chickens and they take him away like it it like they went
right away to the experimental fun fighting game character design on the default roster
which means they're willing to go there that's great i like that um she's a support character
that is better helping a main that's gonna get the most kills than she is getting kills on her own
you know she can heal you she can play as she's playing like a support she's playing a mercy
you know or an ad was i lost where was it where was it go no it's gone design oh got it uh it's also
as playing a closed alpha in the game that i think is supposed to be out in july because
the open beta is in june it is actually pretty refreshing to see taz and velma there with big
fat experimental stickers on them i.e these ones aren't done no we actually mean they're not done
and then you play as them and you're like oh yeah these characters are not done taz is insane
is though taz is insane and velma can't kill people she's terrible uh it feel like the moment i picked
taz i was like oh my god it's metanite if you just put it all into the whirlwind you know um
yeah i felt it right away soon and then like you then also we have a subsystem that involves
turning you into chicken and then that chicken will heal and take away your abilities like it's
a stack upon a stack upon a stack of ridiculous crazy stuff um the and then when you look at the
like let's do something that is um let's give people who are casual players especially like the
fun of items without actually putting items in the game right let's just kind of scratch that itch
it's like okay so there's items but they're character specific things that you have to
collect for your character and they're part of their moveset it's like peach's moveset exactly
right so instead of a pokeball on the ground it's like no part of um you know um um dafney
uh no dafney god dafney uh part of velma's kid is she's going to drop evidence that you have to
collect to build up to the cop car right uh part of yeah uh bug's bunny picks up random bullshit
off the ground because he's like a like a a teddy or like a fast character fins collecting coins and
then he goes shopping like shovel knight who was shovel knight in eight rivals of aether one of the
best uh uh designed guest characters ever mind you fins got a little shop mechanic like that where
you collect and and buy you know like it makes items a part of like that thing you're doing
with your character and so there's no reason to care about it from a like oh items are busted
kind of kind of sense um also and this is reggie uh taught what was pointing this out afterwards
when we were talking he was like oh yeah because he's a smash head he's a smasher and like he gets
in there right away and like he's like you could see the fucking the fire in the blood immediately
when he started playing um one uh the stages are immediately good there's no oh yeah that was really
obvious right away right you have a couple of training stages and then you have like the three
or four that are in that alpha and they're all sane balanced normal ass stages we didn't even talk
about it when we played because it was just background but it's like yeah no band stages
to worry about type of no poke floats going on you know it's just it's it's fine um and that default
wonder woman stage is like wow that's really just battlefield huh and the design change to uh which
also makes this very unique is like no edge guarding in the sense of grabbing onto a ledge but
megaman x wall climbing along the side which means that if you decide to play off stage and get
risky you can actually be safer because all you have to do is touch that wall and make your way
back up so you're it's not as it's not as scary to jump off to your death if you have that or a
partner to pull you back you know i think that's the very smart because i'm i'm terrible at smash
edge guarding i'm awful at it oh yeah it's it's scary everyone is and i'm terrible at going out
there and coming back right uh smash has its own flavor it takes a while to get at that i was like
i felt very confident jumping way out there because you have your two jumps your two dodges and
you're up and side b yes you're gonna get back so that feels good at the same time it's way
easier to get back to the stage because all you have to do is touch that tiny bit
but the core thing that i took away i'm like oh this makes it much more fun for me
is that spiking or meteoring people who are climbing up the side of the stage is way easier
yeah yeah because they can only go straight up and then they have to play a game of chicken with you
you know um so exactly you can you can come down after them or it makes moves like the safe drop
from bugs really good for cleaning up the anyone on the wall you know get off the wall die um and
so there's that there's the fact that you have extra air actions you can do two upbees two dodges
as you mentioned and uh your second jump third if you have the the perk on uh means like times of
air mobility um yeah they they have one of the earliest things is like three times just use up
all your air moves before hitting the ground i'm like you're up there forever forever yep
everyone plays like smash characters with the max mobility you know um and then the fact that dodge
is a face button right there emphasize it's the second thing you learn it's super important it's
right next to jump um it's also the right trigger if you're old-fashioned yep you can put in legacy
but like that's there to show you here's dodging here's what it does here's how you use it it
matters a lot because there's no blocking and no throwing so this is your defensive option
and then i'm like oh but there's no blocking to necessitate throwing and exactly there are
still characters that grab you it's just part of their kit um yeah so now you play the game of dodges
and then when you do dodge successfully you see a little thing pop up for it certainly and there's
a dodge meter so you can deplete that if you do it too much um the layout i switched back to legacy
so you can do it smash style where the score is at the bottom i prefer the new one i like it underneath
the character i think i think it's really nice and i really like it when a game that has nothing to
do with another game labels the all-time decisions of the old game as legacy i think a lot of shooters
do that with controls like uh there's you know shooter controls called like green thumb and it
changes it to the handle controls kind of thing and here it's like if you go in and change all the
UI shit to legacy it's like you have just turned it into smash brothers yeah like interface wise
like it's hilarious yeah um no man that stuff's that stuff's really fun um and uh yeah i just i
felt like i got good matches you know the whole time uh and then i went back in and i played more
you know uh yesterday um and and got to the point where you know like i said i unlocked those those
perks for um for garnet and then just you know spent a bit more time with it um and it just
it's it's gonna be a fucking beast i think this thing's gonna do numbers uh so this this is cross
play is not there's nothing like because cross play is there because the um the the the rollback
is there because it's fun to play and like the roster in and and all that is right roster
and the stages again are the stages are not insane all of that is there the there's no
god damn it guys do this right and like and i'm like it's and i'm totally okay with like
like that perk stuff and everything it's like it's not what i want but i get it it's a free to play
game definitely not a deal breaker it's not because it's a free to play game i totally get that
there's no real like oh god damn it if only it's like no no no those are all there
so the only thing is just like what characters are they gonna throw in and that's it there is only
literally one thing unknown remaining that they could do quite badly that would hurt the game
and that is uh here's shaggy and batman to start and every other character on the roster is 12
dollars yes yes yes if the thing that we got to try out for the alpha this weekend
is what people get when they download the game that's gonna be great um yeah even if the roster's
twice the size if you have that starting roster playable let's say 10 characters are always available
fine um here's my complaint going into it and this is like now that i've come out the other
side and i'm like oh this is really fun it's it's a it's a thought but like i really obviously
wish there was local it sucked that i couldn't me and reggie couldn't play directly we really wanted
that um that was a bummer so the test for alphas and betas that the test was emphasizing it and like
and like you know like again like i really wanted it and it was it was it was annoying that it wasn't
there um i i felt the same way about like dnf dual when they did their beta um but in the end
again the game feels good so i'm i'm i'm happy that it's it's going along that well it's very
pleasantly surprised i just uh i really really fucking hope that the final because they said
local is going to be there i hope that the final release of the game has local co-op online so
i'm sure it will you and a couch friend can go against others online that would be fucking amazing
i don't you know i think you and i could have a nice match i'm just thinking about like who
would our most obvious partners be i think reggie might have it in the bag over the life
i think that particular part may be a mismatch like honestly like the moment like two matches in
he starts talking shit in french and like we're having a conversation like i just got away from
that shit and he can't even hear me anymore because he's just in it and i'm like oh man the
smash blood has been unlocked you know the fire is there uh yeah um so he went in he went in
before we move off multiverses i it's really impressive like i'm very like i went in with
very low expectations and i and every single low expectation was invalidated if that makes it it
wasn't surpassed because that's not fair of course it was it was like oh no they they know they
understand um but the one that really got me very very very quite badly and i'm like i cannot
believe this is that i spent most of my stream on multiverses playing as god damn superman
really that is interesting easily the most fun and most interesting version of superman
in a video game ever combo into grabs i was really quite bad with him until i looked at his stats
and it's like oh soups gets to dodge up or diagonally up for free unlike almost any other
character in the game and i'm like how good can that really good that and the way his his side
be is like a teleport punch no i mean the dash with the hit oh yeah oh this feels like what it
should feel like playing superman to be superman you you can fly anywhere instantly and power through
things and i'm like oh yeah no this is a blast um i like a superman i try i just in the lab for
two seconds i just i jumped did the laser and then immediately into the side b grab and then it's like
oh and then you can follow up and it's like oh there's combos that are like set here you know i did
up a into the into the fucking uh up grab into the side grab yeah yeah all sorts of stupid
superman can basically be a grappler if you if you play him that way but then i'm like messing
around in my options and i'm like you know what superman loves that's right incest so let's throw on
the the house lannister kill effects yep yep exactly superman exactly so that every time i
KO somebody he's going yeah the incest lion always pay your debts um i mean it's let's not
pretend that house targaryen ain't all about the incest too you know game of thrones is sister wives
game of thrones like it's it's not two man two out of three of those banners are incest houses
so let's let's not miss words here but anyway um i think uh the the yeah this is this is it's
looking good feeling good and the because it's a closed alpha like a lot of people couldn't
try it obviously so there's i'm i'm lucky i'm an influencer so i didn't get a code but i just went
hey does anyone have a fucking and i got six codes right but what i saw is like as as stream
started to happen on on the saturday when you were streaming it i saw people start to get like
okay uh i didn't get a code does anyone have a code making red a threads like is there a
code and like it's like ooh good smart on the closed alpha because you're creating a frenzy yes
people wanted to get in once they started hearing about the game being really fun
right so it had a little effect of like oh shit streams are going live word on the street is this
is all right you watch people having fun with it and then they're like oh shit i want to get in
and it's like okay so they had that little knock-on effect of as well by doing it that way um i mean
i really hope that they run an open beta a sap so that everyone can can see what we're talking about
here um uh let's find out because uh open beta is going to be confirmed in july cool it's also
going to carry your progression over which to me says it's going to roll right into full release
so let's just say that the game comes out in july but open beta and full release are weird
distinctions when it's free mm-hmm open beta is just a way to release it and go it might be
fucky for a couple weeks um and yeah it's all last gen and current gen uh no switch though
the switch yeah and now the fact that the switch is not in there is a bummer to everyone who has
a switch and wants to play it there but it has smooth ass rollback and cross play on five systems
the switch had to go for that if if they could get switch in the mix that would be
huge that would encroach on smash territory to for some people um because quite frankly as if
you're a smash player um if just the fact that you're going to play a different game that's
going to give you better matches because you're now getting a to play with rollback and you're
are still out of fucking wi-fi but better online matches would be way more fun you know i can
genuinely imagine that they looked at the switch and they're like in order to make the game look
the way they want and also have the same kind of rollback that the others have the switch was just
not an option maybe maybe you know um or now they don't have to compete with smash brothers
directly right right right um or you make a switch as its own server thing or you know
that would be a bummer it would it wouldn't feel good um but like the people the overlap of people
that are like there's people with switches and kids that are like yeah i want like you know
that are looking for a free smash like game anything brawl hollows doing essentially
has a big audience there and i would like it would be really nice to be able to see an example of
like how rollback is working over people connecting to each other via wi-fi and see how much better
the matches look because there will be a significant improvement but it's still fucking wi-fi right
it ain't solving that problem but it would be great to to have the to to have a comparison for that
anyway um yeah man that's it just the game did what it it promised and uh everything it kind of
feels like right now providing they're not doing any wild changes between here and release like
this thing's going to be a beast i think it's got it it it is the exact fighting game that you
and i have been talking about like there's going to be one that gets to the free to play apple first
and i thought it was going to be project l no it will absolutely be this one i mean of course
project l is more of a traditional fighter this is a platform fighter the 2v2 thing you know it's
significant um but yeah and it has the the roster power behind it as well as the rest of it being
clean um so you know i also was as smart as a gimmick because it's very different from smash
and also it it enables the the what i'm gonna call the free to play uh guilt offload
system where well it wasn't me randomly selected teammate was garbage so no i i i feel like um
they were given the time and money probably to just make sure that you know every like all
water brothers needs to worry about is the roster because the rest of it is just doing what um
anything that's learning from smash should be doing um it's doing what really like all the
things nintendo were kind of refuses to do that should have been there by now it's it's got all
that covered um so shout outs to uh player first games yeah that's the studio real um this has
the possibility i'm gonna use the term copies even though it's you know it's it's it's you know
never mind this because of its freeness and the right roster and its quality definitely has the
chance to be the first game to make one more billion dollars that's the goal um and shit like
if if anyone's on the roster if you can even get into that disney world then you can even
confirm that i mean with a moral price has nothing to do with naruto and he has files in the game
which says that they are going outside of water brothers to just grab
fucking whatever man more content incoming um wouldn't it be the most fucked up thing in the
world if this game had the best version of naruto in a fighting game there have been so many narutos
in a fighting game and they have varied wildly in quality well that's the thing it's not just that
but like johnny bravo and like samurai jack you know these uh cartoon network characters have
showed up in a bunch of places and like i the version here might be the best thought out as
long as love is put into it shovel night showed up in a lot of places but it's never been as
done as as well done as rivals of aether you know uh the design of every other character here feels
as if you know what it's probably going to be their best versions i grabbed like i said like i
grabbed taz and i was like oh my god this is nuts this this is like that that that's a kit
that's really powerful um was cleaning up with him um and then even yeah people that i'm not using
where i was like okay um velma is not for me but i i like the ideas right of what she's about
that she's there i will never like to play as velma aria is kirby and like at the same time
you know and you're like okay and then you can do things with the tracking dagger that
the zips over like like really interesting interpretations you know yeah for fighting
game nerds the game has a whole separate layer of tom and jerry is the carl clover of this game
that's genius got to one that's fucking genius like it's it's it's it's it's got to one uh
a tom and jerry you know um yeah that's that's that's basically a jerry's eddy you know um you
you can you can see them their fighting is like they're just trying to get each other
but whatever they're doing just happens to hit you yeah it's one of the best like tom and jerry
in this game is probably one of the best fighting game designs for animations i've ever seen in
anything in that they are enacting their own tom and jerry cartoon outside of the context of the
fight now it's it's legitimately perfect so like it's like and if and if again if the the the far
reaching guests the tentacles can grab whatever they want imagine a world where itchy and scratchy
also show up imagine you know yeah and they're and they're their special super mechanic his watch
out itchy he's irish and they both pick up bats or go into the uh was it like the dutch version
maybe of the no it was the soviet block soviet so we're in parasite
yeah yeah so the moves right themselves oh yeah there you go it's it's really weird because like
i remember there was a there's a smash moment when like i forget what the the turn everyone i think
had a different moment where it's like oh it's anything like i think like when cloud showed up
or joker or something you know it's like oh it could be it could be anyone and with the with the
multiverses thing it's like it's now like it it's the same feeling of oh it could be anyone
but it's reaching back in time to smash and slapping in video games on the smash it could
be anyone because now i'm like is ian mckelyn gonna be my favorite fighting game character
okay i don't know maybe like tony soprano is not that far a stretch from the other irl picks you
could go with here it just might be a bit weird with the voice clips you know like um yeah and then
also just last note here uh you go to advanced tutorials and the game's like oh yeah here's
wave dashing here's dash jumping um here's uh um dash into attack cancels and then attack into
dash cancels uh we're gonna put mr me seeks at the absolute ass ends of every corner of the
stage and you're gonna use your aerial abilities to get to the top right top left top like the far
four quarters of the stage and kill mr me seeks to show off your aerial movement
wb has licensed the farmer in the dell because omar's coming you know yeah um michael jordan to
be in the game and i want michael jordan to cost five extra dollars over every other character
mm-hmm and his side b is he tosses an ipad um yeah but they put so there's advanced tech in for
smash players to be like oh yep movement options are there you know um and option in the training
mode that is like show me a standard juggle mm-hmm like it's it's all there and the the
character interactions have all been there's been a lot of lines that are between the two
you know a superman talking shit about shaggy sandwiches or uh uh you know like he's had bugs
and aria or like i dropped my controller when i was fucking around in training mode a shaggy
beating up batman i heard kevin conroy goes oh the rumors about his power level must be true
right right or are you serious or garnet uh attacking taz and just going like stop spinning
around you know like get back i remember i remember uh uh uh kayoing a player as garnet uh
who's playing garnet when i was playing superman and there's something weird about garnet just going
to yeah not too bad superman that i'm like this is fucking weird weird like imagine how much harder
smash would hit if any of those characters could fucking speak mm-hmm also for some reason
everyone's got there like ah fooie i guess i lost the match animations and garnet just die
explodes and dies it's horrifying just she's just she splits into the two gems you know
and then they crack and she's dead it's crazy yeah yeah yeah so uh cool cool i'm giving it
what a nice what a nice surprise which feels mean because like the game never looked bad ever
nope but like it's immediate contemporaries gave me the lower expected oh yeah no i mean
when we saw the announcement it's like okay they're doing there here comes another one
sure you know but um someone in the chat asked who's captain falcon shaggy
he's got the knee and his punch and the falcon punch he's got the knee yep it's it's shaggy
although superman side b kind of grabs you a bit like um like captain falcon superman's ganon
okay fair it's more than falcon yeah harder hits big charges yep it's it's mm-hmm yeah like
um batman's just shaking it up you know and in a couple of ways harley is snake oh yeah harley is
absolutely snake grenade like like like i like like reggie was called doing all the
voc the voc voice callouts for like the grenades and shit like that it's like yeah traps and bullshit
i had a weird moment playing as harley because i had run around the roster before picking her
and i was doing okay and then i grabbed harley and then i just kicked the shit out of the people
i was playing against aria's met aria's kirby um taz's met a knight shaggy's also like re you
with the with the fucking uppercut you know um and the kick but yeah uh the the vibes are there
for sure uh there's also the mario bite yeah jake the dog has um uh uh he's dolls him
yeah yeah so he's got some weird abilities but that's what jake would be right like jake
i had so much fun with jake because his side punch can be aimed in any direction degree arc and i was
like oh 180 up all the straight up to straight down oh my god fully i was like spiking people to
hell when they were trying to come back on the stage jake's great and he gets a he gets a the
kickflip combo where he skates you can do like a downbeat uh down like down tilt down tilt down
yeah and the little in the little score thing comes on good great awesome you know what you know
what i have one last thing to say about multiverses and it is in developer intent in smash brothers
every now and then it's possible you could be sanctioned for teaming up on a weaker player in
2v2 or taunting excessively or showing off bad manners or whatnot and in multiverses the first
loading screen tip i ever saw was this is the button to taunt do it at the start of your match
it's fun yeah yeah yeah if they taunt you and bm you but then toast you afterwards it's all fine
it's all good it's all good yep okay um i gotta use the bathroom so let me let's take it there
and then i'll also use the bathroom why not touch on some other stuff all right beer up back
okay okay so uh that aside wait there's more it's been brought to my attention that that
Warner Brothers technically owns roosterteeth which owns us which means we could be multiverses
characters oh my god i'm shocked and and i completely was not prepared for this please
pay no attention to this file i have which is all of my smash brothers kit pre-designed
and ready and waiting to go yeah yeah all right what else do you do with your week man
turns out word on the street was correct final fantasy six pretty good game
you you close it out got there that final sequence is fucking nuts i i have to say
um when i saw the final sprite of god kefka god emperor clown i had seen that before without
knowing what it was a million times i'm sure and i didn't know what it was i had never seen the build
up to it oh it's crazy it's awesome what i like i'm like 25 years later guess what fresh eyes that
shit ruled um that is a big sprite right furthermore that escalation alongside dancing mad holy
shit what a sequence yeah that was really cool pick your final order go in and then make it up
uh uh make it up fucking dantes inferno uh paradiso you know like all of it get get get
your way through the different layers of hell um what an absolute awesome closing sequence
it is decades out still one of the best everyone's going in
mm-hmm everybody's everybody yeah the whole all the warriors um and that obviously feels
fucking great right that's a really cool empowering moment um so like it's it's it's one of these
conversations to our own like okay i see where right people have the battle in of like yo six
versus seven six versus chrono trigger all of that you know i can see where those battles rage and and
how um i will say that uh no boss into final transformation has ever been as cool as that
one like sephiroth definitely has never a better final two hours i like sephiroth doesn't the final
form does not get anywhere near this one and we the less said about um lavos the better you know
with the final form even though the sequence itself of going through time is unbelievable
and world revolution is one of the greatest tracks ever um the actual like art of the
fucking final form and in this case it's not just kind of like remember in ten when um that
foppish dude uh um with the blue hair i forget his name seymour remember when he just turns into
a final fantasy boss yes right and you're like oh yes you are you are a final fantasy character
turning into a final fantasy boss sure right this is what happens okay um it it like you're looking
at you're like well yeah that's that's that's a big old that's a big old you know angelic design
and um you know certainly the one-winged angel is is a bit of that but in the context of what
kefka's doing and why and how where it's like this is a fucking narcissist insane like the
literal height of hubris you're staring at the literal height of hubris in in physical incarnation
so it's more than just i grew some wings it's like no it's all my ego manifest because this
is what i do with the power and like it has way more sense behind why it looks that way than just
like i'm really powerful and i'm a godly being and that's all there is to it you know yeah so like
his personality makes that makes sense why does sephiroth get a wing well because the designer
of sephiroth's final form thought it would be really cool if he was like a fucked up
seraphic looking being right does kefka get a wing because kefka thinks it would be fucking cool
to have wings yeah kefka sees himself that way it's not just this is how my full true form manifests
and i and it's whatever you know um that means a lot man because a lot of characters like when they
unleash their true form or whatever it's just kind of like well i guess the idea is you were born
this beautiful creature and then that's all the that that's what that's what it is you know um
his ego manifesting in that way and then the tower itself being just you know the the the
continent and all the garbage of everything that was slapped together from the world of balance
like it's all just yeah it's it's a it's a testament to uh his self um um worth you know his his
vision of what he is and it makes all the more like it makes so much sense when you finally ascend
to heaven and you take him on in that way and you guys are just you're doing it you know but um
that transformation sequence to me is is that's the top that's better than any of those other
final sequences i've i've seen in anything uh uh contemporary or by comparison like because it
has a meaning behind it um if i had to uh if i had to break because the argument with chrono trigger
and ff7 and ff6 has been going on for like 25 years or something like that because they all
came out like right next to each other and now that i hear you describe it it's like ff7 has
the best beginning and chrono trigger has the best middle portion and ff6 ends the strongest
and i feel like i feel like the way that reticentates with people is going to depend on how which one
they're gonna grab as their personal favorite so as i described it when i hit the moment i'm like
give me a second to like digest it you know and uh i think it reminds me of because again whatever
woolly limited range here i'm gonna here we go i'm gonna make a persona i'm gonna make a persona
comparison specifically in the way uh we compare three four and five where they each have strong
elements that are completely separate from each other uh right uh three has the strongest ending
the conclusion oh yeah that's not a question at all done and done super obvious four has the strongest
antagonist five has has the strongest crew um i would say so so these particular elements are
where they shine in in in my in my you know uh in my book and so yeah that's the thing is i
feel like when you're comparing those three you you have to give that ending to six you have to
it's great um and the fact that it's also like in your control as to how soon or how slow you
want it to go you know um and by the time i was rolling in many uh hours of of world of ruin later
i'm like oh this song is the song it's burnt in search for friends this is it this is the track
you know um it's it's as soon as you you you fucking like i went and i did all that grinding
and stuff and it was it took a goddamn long time but like that track was fucking burnt right in
and i'm like yeah years later this is what i'm gonna be thinking of you know um the the the
momentum behind that second act into the finale is uh it's killer it's it's it's so fucking good
um the bits and pieces of old game design how does it feel when you come up the ff6 came out
like what 96 yeah yeah okay so how does it feel guy who is coming up on this 25 year old game that
is like a golden pinnacle and you're like nearing the end and everyone's telling you how absolutely
incredible it is and you're like god damn it i hope this lives up to this shit because and then it
actually does like because it's really old right maybe it's just nostalgia and then you get there
and you're like yeah still yeah yeah yeah no i what i honestly felt was holy shit i could imagine if
if this was back in the mid 90s and you hit your fucking mind your brain's gone on that yeah yeah
yeah if i can feel it in its in its echoes this much later with the influences that it's it's you
know and things that have shaken out from it um in the in the moment the at the at the epicenter of
the explosion it must have been unbelievable which explains why it's the only thing a bunch of kids
i went to school with could talk about you know what i mean like it yeah it all kind of yeah it
makes a lot of sense um there's there's one that that kind of hurts me because you're never ever
ever going to be able to get across to somebody just how nuts it was at the time like more than
more than any technical thing ever is i don't know how to show to anyone that was born in like the year
95 or later how fucking insane it was that the entirety of Metal Gear Solid was voiced
exactly exactly like i don't know how to get it across yeah yeah that it had been literally decades
of beep boop at best and then i rent Jurassic Park 2 one day and lose my shit because the
intro happens to have voice acting as we speak yeah my men are on their way you know like wow
they put a SNES cartridge uh uh with they got voice acting on the SNES cartridge i didn't even know
you could do that you know they compressed it to shit but wow and then yeah the whole goddamn thing
and then live action footage and exactly that feeling um six uh where where the age really
shines through in the in this this late visit to it though is in all of the mechanics that
by now like what the way i describe it is like in when we bug test you something that is considered
user path zero means this is a really bad bug perhaps i don't know but no one is gonna find it
it's so obscure that the player will almost certainly not run into this user path one means
if you scrape you're gonna hit it but only if you're scraping you know and then it goes up from
there to for you know the average run three you can't miss etc um so stuff in this game being
so anti-current design where it's like people to this day still have not seen those limit breaks
right the desperation moves that exist in this game not what happened at any point during my
playthrough oh oh you squint because what do you even know what i'm talking about okay so there you
go there are limit breaks in this game that only happen when you're at low life and there is a
extremely small percentage of a chance of it happening probably like one on 255 if we're going
by um if we're going by the game's internal like fucking 255 register on everything else
there's a limit break that can pop off and uh you have very little to zero to no chance of
seeing it we didn't see one but it's a thing there are limit breaks in ff6 this is what i'm
talking about that's freaking the fuck out what am i looking at riot blade yeah yeah yeah here we go
what the fuck is this shit exactly exactly right all these years later i just i just saw
saw i just saw saiyan do subame gai shi with the fucking moon symbol and i'm like oh so that's the
move i've been hitting on samurai for four and a half years it already existed the references that
come along later these are all ff14 buttons okay so like every every single one of these that i am
seeing is a button in ff their shadow fang tiger break spinning edge even the same
isn't that insane
okay for me as late as the second button you get us a pound in ff14 i thought it was just a fucking
made for no one made for no one right like you're gonna there's so many people that are
gonna go through the entire game never seeing any of it i someone was like i saw one basically
it's crazy um and yeah everyone has that has that that those animations you can go look at
the compilations there people were going like i never saw that because every one of my characters
could heal themselves so if they hit a knee they instantly healed themselves their first turn
exactly and this is what i mean right games don't games that that's not a thing anymore where it's
like fucking a secret you'd never heard about 25 years later um you know and then uh the other
things that are like meant to be like end of the game secrets like there's shit that's just
if you played this there's no way not only would you almost likely never run into it but the one
kid in your school who did and went to school and went guys i was flying around and then suddenly
i got into a fight with a death gaze on the airship and everyone would be like you're a
fucking liar what are you talking about you know yeah and the only kid the only kid that actually
did fight that guy goes i didn't know that was supposed to be a boss i just cast vanish and then
x zone and it killed him instantly and everyone's like that's stupid you can't do that turns out
that you what you didn't have that experience yeah they fixed a bunch of stuff which apparently
there's a couple bosses in world of ruin that nobody knew how hard they were for like decades
because everyone just instant killed them i know real intangier also had some instant kill shit
that i did i i didn't have yeah yeah yeah um but uh that's exactly it like you have shit like that
where when the time came like between sessions reggie warned me don't fly around and i was like
yeah definitely no no no okay and then not only did nothing ever happen but when the time came to
look for it we had to fucking fly for like 20 minutes maybe it was it's a single pixel on the
overworld that you have to hit come into contact with it's it's nuts there's such a low chance of
hitting that um and then you know other things like certainly like the the uh some of the coliseum
shit is just completely out of your control and that's just wildly never going to go your way
unless you build up a like an exploit character so the cursed shield you know 255 matches a victories
with the shield on to get the transformation on that um i i mean and then if you want to go
collect everything on the belt uh good fucking luck man because the way that game picks what
shows up on the belt is by grabbing a folder of every dungeon area and then inside that folder
is a is a particular group formation of enemies but if you grab one folder the next time around
it's just going to rotate and then do another refresh so there's two there's a double randomizer
for you to get the thing you're looking for making it extra hard essentially
you know so i feel like by the way that i feel like they they probably changed death gaze on the
remaster because i had the opposite situation where if i was flying around at all death gaze
would just hit me every single fucking time and i'd have to run from it couldn't fucking find it at
all so that must have been changed then net like the idea of going to find it a second time because
it ran away is it just be it'd be like hours wasted it'd be crazy um then uh the chances of
stealing items the you have it was i think it was like you have a uh a seven on eight chance of getting
a common item one on eight of getting a rare and maybe it was explained to me wrong i've seen people
come in to say that there's different explanations for this and um someone was saying that in the
remaster it seems like it's four on 255 but whatever the case was um the odds of stealing a
celestriad uh was basically like it happened like three times over the course of three and a half
hours of coliseum and then each of those three times it never resulted in a win so it was it was
wild how much this game is willing to just old jrpgs don't give a fuck if you see it or not
you know um how many kids were called horrible liars you know and were fucking pushed for saying
no but it's real though and they just got shoved for lying that era directly led into the worst
era ever which is uh dude you can totally bring arith back it's like you just got to do this you
dude just dude this fuck bringing arith back you can bring leo back
yeah no that that was the original yeah you can get leo on the party this this and this uh
someone will jump in front of leo in that sequence and leo won't die and but why not if we got banning
on the party fucking brandon we got banning on the party drunken hobo he temporarily joins and
then leaves why not grab other temporary characters you know um yeah that that was uh uh just it's
unbelievable how just the product of the time was like an amazing game that gave that just
games back then really gave no shits whether or not you saw it all or ran into it at all or
anything they just they programmed limit breaks that evaded most of the listeners uh uh uh knowledge
for 25 years they gave no shits it's the fascinating thing about the way that the the the money that
goes into it and the time that goes into it i always i it's the first time i ever encountered
this style of thought was on gears of war two an artist had spent like weeks creating this giant
like gorgeous mushroom vista in a stage and then they play test it and they can't get players to
turn left to look at it and he's like are you are you fucking so and they instead apparently they
they made it so that the path curved in such a way that you had to look at it and that that sums up
a modern game like if i'm gonna make this you're gonna see it set piece design set pieces are
the answer to what i'm talking about by corridoring you into the moment where you can't possibly avoid
it you know um and and you have that cinematic experience uh but everyone has the exact same
one and as i've you know i this is the type of thing where i remember like yeah like talking
with james small about it and everything like over the years it's like the answer lies in between
the answer lies in you know what i what i call it i like i said in testing user path one i'm not a
fan of user path is user path zero um for massive crazy wild like omake almost you know the the
snakier secrets if you want it to be that silly then sure but like for stuff that's like you know
generally content in the game um i like it at user path one where it's like if you scrape yeah
you'll get that you'll find it you'll find it if you scrape and that's that's uh um and if you
don't scrape if you just journey through it then yeah you can miss it you know um reward the player
for their exploration on that i like that idea um but uh that stuff aside and then some really
wild bugs i mean boy this system just it falls apart when that combat gets um when they start
giving you like new options and abilities and introducing new types of states for the player
to to enter in combat like uh okay so let's just do a dragoon jump with mog and then teleport the
rest of the party out and then have them fucking exit the battle but mog is still in the air so then
the attack completes so the battle doesn't end and the rest of the party is gone but they can still
be attacked in their ghost location by the enemy like it the game just fucking starts to crack at
the seams don't worry about it don't worry about it and the ultimate one of course was uh getting
to the top of what i'm gonna call the dlc tower because the kafka cultist tower is it felt like
here's your here's your dlc you know almost like baked into the game because that's what it was back
ruin is yeah yeah yeah world of ruin is how much is that your challenge tower where it's all magic
only and i'm like mad magic this it's a fucking yeti each shit um and the last enemy dies when
does a suicide attack and then our party dies but it no without a re-raise it gives you the success
screen even though your whole party's dead and now you're walking around with your whole party
at zero life and when you save it their bodies are on the ground fucking dead and the moment you
start another random battle you get a game over sequence immediately it was it was don't worry
about it yeah yeah yeah so the remasters uh you know they got they caught a lot of that stuff and
they balanced a bunch of it but not everything and um as someone who also you know is not gonna be too
uppity about the like new uh changes to some of the details i felt like they were very tasteful with
the 3d um it was only used in the uh opera sequence and that's an entirely just it's a visual
thing it's not gameplay so you know you can take it or leave it if you're someone that
doesn't like any changes but for the most part it's doing that that uh octopath stuff and it's
doing it really well well more like a triangle strategy really um and and it looks fantastic
but they clearly didn't want to overdo it just in case it was like eh we don't want to fuck with the
memories we don't want people who like it the original way to get too upset by the the changes
here um really solid uh and then the gallery of course going through it like yeah that artwork
at the time was fantastic the only thing that makes no sense is the goddamn font choice
which you have to fix immediately upon installing it baffling it's like it's like a punch to the
face the instant you boot the game horrendous um but yeah good game i want to see a details
because i know it must exist a detailed like god kefka statue of the full thing like that must
be out there right there must be multiple interpretations of that at this point um i mean
shit the other thing that i i i uh caught my attention immediately let me see kefka tower
statue or yeah there's a bunch of them yep okay yeah yeah it's it's definitely been done he also
gets like uh he also gets like a in 14 he gets to be a raid boss and you get to fight your whole
way up the the massive model the same way um 3d and it looks incredible the other the other uh
boss that was fucking fantastic was the goddess of the war in triad oh sofia yeah so i find out
like in 14 she gets named sofia yeah they get names and descriptions about what they're like
like the fiend is the one that had that power man 5000 something so okay and uh wasn't wasn't
its name sephirot sephirot yeah yeah sephirot right like as in the original thing cabala
yeah okay i believe their names were originally there and they cut them because they were going
to use sephirot in the next one so that must be weird in japanese because like the th and the t
are not going to be distinguished you know enough but yeah in english uh it it is yeah sephirot
sofia and zervin the goddess design is is fucking awesome what a cool thing so when that comes back
and it's like oh yeah i can see the um you can see like just like they this is barely a like they
just took the art of the of the concept art and just like converted it like into the sprite
you know it wasn't even like they barely had to like change anything well it doesn't have to move
so just slap a nice picture on there yeah yeah yeah um amazing amazing really really cool
hey i have a question for you mm-hmm now that we're talking about uh japanese role playing
games that are comfortable letting you not see an absolutely huge proportion of their content
i saw on your youtube channel you uploaded a video at a grace that i recognized and that youtube
video was called the plot mm-hmm so you've been diving into knockron dive dove into knockron uh got
to the end of knockron uh rode rode a coffin up and then got to the end of uh that really annoying
milk urd milk area i'm gonna call it it's that area full of urd milk uh yeah so elden ring um
the area with that you ride up to is like the water is all milky
no oh you went to the other one
okay yes never mind okay um picked up a doll got some big lore yeah and then did that
are you thinking of something else i'm thinking i'm just thinking of other things okay all right
well in any case um that whole sequence was oh okay no wait you saw the lake
oh the people are telling me you saw the lake yes yes yes i i saw the lake and i fucking sat
and then got out of there i saw the lake and went god fucking damn it miyazaki and then left
yeah yeah yeah yeah you fucking stop pushing out you get across that lake there's cool
shit on the other side of that lake i know i know i know but there's there's cool shit in every
direction yeah there sure is yeah it's just when when you're following that hole in the ground
and you're like wow i had to go way out of my way to find this hole in the ground
i had to kill redon to find this hole in the ground but we're now at that place where it's
like yeah all direct like i'm not i can't i'm not going back to the lake now because i'm walking
through the fucking capital and if i turn back from the capital then eight people are gonna
fucking lose their minds have you have you you know into the capital yes i've walked into the
capital is that not the craziest like zone vista in a souls game ever uh i think i'm at the grace
before it it really starts i i just kind of walked in sat at the grace that they give you and then
you know we'll we'll see um but um oh you haven't you haven't gotten the the shot
of the the there's a there's a there's like a nice balcony you could see okay capital
then i guess i'll i'll be catching that next time um uh but uh yeah anyway um the the there's
cool shit in every direction and there's good payoffs in every direction it feels like as well
so you know can't go wrong whichever way i wander and and and it's it's it's a good time
i am like i know i'm just repeating the same thing again but it's like i'm having so much fun
just skating and punching dude it's so cool to like get up in the fucking guts you know just
like punch the bear shift shift pop pop pop pop pop pop i respect a bunch of times going through
and my takeaway is that this is easily in terms of all the from software games it is easily the one
that you have the the best and most painless time finding a way that you want to play it that is fun
for you mm-hmm feels like it there it there's a lore like the the ash of war system and the the
amount of unique weapons you get there's just this huge variety of like well what if i want to play
like this so what if i want to play like that so i fought that um uh full grown falling star beast
and then you get its jaw right and like and the moment i used its its ash of war its second
ability and i saw like what it did i'm like oh like the vision of an alternate playthrough
of that just comes all and rushes into my head i'm like i see it i see the whole play style
that is like i think like number two on intelligence weapons in terms of like
it's so good i believe it i believe it um you just you're fucking pick it up and you hear
i'm like really from this far away like yeah uh i saw the exact play style that that thing
could take you through for the rest of that game you know um some weapons you grab and and you go
oh there it is um so moon veil obviously you know but not just that you pick up um the the wing
it's like it's like a dex um wing that like uh it's it basically feels like a scimitar but it's
got an r2 that has like a projectile charge on it are you saying the like when you say a wing you
mean like a physical actual wing of a creature yes a wing of a creature like so the wing of estelle
i guess so yeah i guess that's what okay yeah that thing's fucking nuts yeah and you i
swing that around on test and i go oh oh i see the the playthrough that revolves around this
you know what if i wanted a moonlight greatsword that was a curved sword instead there you go it
really does like the moment you pick it up and take it for a test you go yeah yep this could work
you you'd adjust your play style but you'd find a way to just hammer through everything with it you
know you know it's interesting because i've seen a lot of folks because i'm i'm now in the post
discourse of people talking about the game on replay and rating it on that and i'm seeing a lot
of folks complain because like a lot of the the little caves and a lot of the little dungeons
they're not nearly as good as like the big gigantic dungeons and so folks are like well on replay you'll
never get that first thing again because you know that the past that huge vista there's you know
maybe a mediocre dungeon here or there and it doesn't have the thing that you want and it's like
when i go back to elden ring to fuck around with that now i get to lock in the play style that i
want within 90 minutes i get to like immediately just let's do what you know i want this kind of
gun it's i want this kind of weapon i want this kind of build i want a couple of these spells
and i'm gonna go and then i'm gonna do the content that i want to do now that i know where all that
shit is and i have the list of where every incantation is and i have a list of i am i am deeply
appreciating though every time a completely new type of like boss enemy shows up and is like
a whole new thing to a whole new challenge i'm very much appreciating it so like in that area in
the milk area for example uh wandered up that tree and who the fuck is it's saluria okay you know
and you're crucible but you're not a normal crucible no you're a different new
much scarier type doing stuff yeah and i like oh you're about an hour of my stream a few months
ago because fuck mm-hmm okay okay yeah uh i it was immediately like a couple less for me but like
i it was like i have to you have to respect it you must respect what you see you're getting
ringed the fuck out if you don't learn it you know um so that was like i'm i'm enjoying these like
yeah okay the new shit the fully fully new shit is still really nice over the remix
like the the complaint that the game reuses bosses too often is kind of weird because it does
there's actually like only like seven or eight totally unique fights in the whole game
right that don't get reused in any way yeah yeah right but it's like by the time i got to the end
i fought like fucking 90 to 100 totally unique bosses mm-hmm like uh some of them get reused too
much dragons yeah too many of the same type of dragon ulcerated tree spirits all dragons
ulcerated tree spirits are top of the list of like you use these too many times yeah but like
crucible knights are fucking fun to fight oh yeah yeah yeah yeah the moment i see a crucible god
damn one of them the moment i see a crucible it's like all right drop all fucking drop all
plans for the day we're going in on this crucible we're doing it right um yeah same thing like well
that everjails are the number one priority at all times like yeah i couldn't want the duel any harder
you know um so that's yeah that's a lot of fun and uh we're certainly getting there and uh the
plot is is escalating um so it this game actually unlike almost every dark souls game or demon souls
this game has what i'd call an appreciable plot so far it's been a really uh interesting because
i'm also doing a lot of like speculation and theory on everything we're coming across and in
some cases we're just wildly off in other cases we've pointed out things and noticed some details
that people were like oh shit i didn't notice that um because like things about like as usual enemy
placement uh body placement item yeah pickups and where they're found have implications for
what that was and why and what you know like when you see uh an enemy that is like you're
supposed to be over in that dungeon but you're way over here why there's often a possible reason you
could infer from that you know uh nearby where you can piece the two together and then when we
started getting to like the the meat of it by um hanging out with fia for a bit there um you know
this is where he tells you all sorts of shit yep we're up ranny and fia have lots of dumping of
the lore of the plot for you and then um this is where like it's incredible where like uh basically
as we're going through it um reggie does a rewatch and then like because like i'm titling every
episode and he doesn't rewatch and he he takes notes down um and then has those on a control f
document that's in his lap as we're watching so the moment a term is something we've heard before
it'll be like control f there yep someone's conversation 30 40 hours ago but it like we
someone mentioned this name right but in our case not only is it 30 40 hours ago it is a month and a
half ago yeah right so we were able to like for example catch inferences as to the conspiracy
of the night of black knives we were able to piece together a bunch of that shit
based on um the first conversations from when you enter the roundtable hold and then later
evidence that pops up in the moment you get it you're like wait i've seen that word before control
effort bam reggie pulls it up and we got it you know so uh it's that's a that's a whole different
experience it's a lot of fun too it's it's really interesting because it's obviously all still told
mostly through somebody telling you blah blah blah cryptic or the item descriptions
but i think one of the largest changes from their older games to this is like your primary
antagonists or your primary bosses are like active participants in the world that can
fucking speak and aren't insane or ruined or more of doubt you're yeah everyone that like i mean
usually you get introduction introduction to the lore uh bosses and then you're going to go
collect your mega man battles you know but the world had been established by some bigger figures
at some point before that and here they're around it seems like a lot of them are still around you
know and like fia's quests are like a really good example because like let's take like a dark souls
one quest line a dark souls one quest line is invariably a guy wants to come to lordran to get
a thing and either succeeds in getting the thing or not right so be it sunlight or a
bonfire keeper soul or a big hat with spells um the everything to do with fia and every character
involved in that quest line they are doing their own game over there yes yes yes right like the the
ronnie crew are up to shit when you're not there they're everyone has their own like full-on path
exactly um you know selen for example which resembles a normal which resembles very much like a dark
souls plot line for a character uh it plays out in a very similar way i feel like to to those games
is is has these little touches and interactions with some of the others and there again everyone's
up to their own thing to the point where like i mean for all the plotting that we're putting
together uh and clues we're catching on to very that are subtle ahead of time there's also some
moments of just like um like plot blindness where because there's so much shit going on
with each individual of like for example the r family and um like all the kids and then all the
parents they all have these these these these set things everything i learned about ronnie is her
and her friends and the path that she's walking everything i learned about um uh redon is about
what's going on over in in katelyn how he was the coolest guy how'd he get like this
i barely i only know a couple things about rye card but what's there is all about the
volcano manner and then and so on right he's uh he's uh he's big on family so so there's all
that he's big on doing things as a unit together right so there's all that going on and like each
of these each item you find relating to them or person you find relating to them is so like
enveloped in that whole thing that something as like straight up as these people are all considered
the carrians was something both reggie and i just didn't process because we're like no well ronnie
was head of the carrians but these other big characters are it wasn't mentioned they're
doing they're doing so much shit that you know what i mean yeah but they're de facto part of
the carrie in royal line it's just so honey was the one who was a good witch so she inherits it
and so that was the one of those bits where it's just like oh god right okay so this is
we're it is part of that lineage but simply not having the word float in any of her items or text
because it's chock full of all the other shit they're doing is a perfect moment of plot blindness
you know and then and then you think about okay ronnie and redon our brother and sister ronnie
clearly takes after her mom like clearly the red heads of that family are taking after radigan
and they're like musk like redon's fucking muscle freak like that dude's huge and so you know and
then i have the and then there's these moments too where um and i'm sure the new game plus is
gonna is full of these but like i went back to storm veil because um uh uh an item a hood appears
there like later on um so i want to go pick it up and uh walking into that room where the grafted
scion is and like you see a painting and you're like i know exactly what this painting is now i
know who that is there's a fucking beast on his shoulder yeah yeah you know and you're like oh
shit it was just a cool guy with a lion and that was all cool and whatever but now you've read the
description and you come back to it and you're like motherfucker this painting was here and i
could have you know so all that context for the revisit and the walkthroughs of some earlier areas
is gonna pay off as well you know um so that's always a lot of fun or walking through the the
looking at the paintings on the wall of the the the round table and i'm like well i've seen a bunch
of red heads there's only one red head i haven't seen and i don't know who the fuck that is so
i'm gonna put two and two together therefore yeah yeah you know uh the plot is really really
satisfying it is so far i enjoy that um grim was a good choice unironically it really on it really
actually helped and for everything that's like a a shot in the dark that doesn't um that doesn't
actually you know pay off or go anywhere then it's like well uh the the the mysteries unfold in
such a way that like with very few exceptions um it feels like they the answers come to you in time
and i know some of that stuff well i know now certainly that some of that stuff is like
hey go walk into this area and things will update you know but like for example nefeli's been sitting
in that basement for a long time now so like it's like okay i haven't hit the triggers you know
you have like the weirdest experience with nefeli because like you know what the answer to how to
update her quest used to be it's not done right right right right okay okay yeah um so you know
it but yeah that's there it's been it's been it's been cool it's been cool um i'm looking forward
to yeah once putting together all of those um moments that i now get from the trailer from
the cinematic trailer and piecing it all together once you realize like uh the the number one
like world state altar is did you put your fucking foot onto the altus plateau
like figuring out a lot of those quests gets a lot easier because like the game has this
meteoric fucking every quest updates simultaneously shift the instant your foot hits that fucking dirt
but lest we forget there's some bullshit out there for example uh once you find bach the first
time and they had to buff the your his findability by making his voice hit you from further away
uh the second time you find him you're gonna have to go to not just travel to that grace but
sit at it for him to appear which means you have a much lower chance of running into it if you're
just going by your graces and hoping he's gonna he's gonna be on on the plus side in my experience
i missed like fully like six out of eight steps of bach's quest line wow i got like the first two
and the last one and it still worked out just fine okay a lot a lot of the quests in elden ring
actually work that way where if you accidentally progress too fast in the world state it'll just
skip to the next step and be like yeah they figured it out without you so like if you don't go talk to
you know when you you went and hung out with blithe uh underground before the redawn festival
yeah you don't need to do that he'll he'll show up at the redawn festival regardless okay yeah
yeah um no and so that's that's been a thing of like uh you know go go catch this person if you
can while they're there i suppose yeah so and i'll be you know talking about that because i did find
some some new people where i was just like oh shit oh fuck where the fuck were you the whole time
um i was on uh i was doing a replay uh on on camera i was fucking around i'm like oh that's
where this npc disappeared to mm-hmm the dead ass middle of the lake in learnea never found them
motherfucker that's exactly who i'm talking about so wait you could you missed him the first time
uh like like two hundred hours into the game i had to thought i had to be told that his quest
line was finished now and i'm like he had a quest line at all that fucker i caught him
and i have it ready to show next time we sit down just that's where you went so apparently his
quest used to just do nothing it never went anywhere john snow he has he he's associated
with a new npc in the jar town and all this shit and it's just like okay fine fuck it i
guess he's a new guy now uh man yeah yeah yeah um it was it was fucking it would that was a wild
one you know um well he's in like one of the shittiest lowest visibility areas in the entire game
that the game actively teleports you past and like four spots yeah like so if you're for example
like and the thing is compare that to say the other people you meet up in the in the in the
round table and it's like okay you hit altis you're walking around you're gonna find corrin
you know and then like if you're curious by the road on every step yeah and if you're curious
you're gonna walk down that bridge and you'll be like oh there's your destination you know like
it's all gonna kind of come together because your curiosity pays off by going to points of interest
um that fucker was just practically hidden you know what i fucking love about elden ring
almost every but i'm gonna say most of the people in the chat right now have beaten elden ring or
like really really really fucking foreign elden ring and i just look over and somebody goes
what the fuck is jar town exactly exactly like yeah exactly i didn't find i didn't find that until
like my second last stream because somebody told me insane um yeah so anyway fucking that game is so
good i wonder oh god the dlc thank you the dlc is gonna be big isn't it so shout outs to zuli the
witch for that tweet which is just like a screenshot of all the other souls dlc and just saying like
so based on precedent the best part of elden ring is not even out yet and it's like god damn it it's
like yeah no the the the best part of every souls game is like it's final dlc by like a huge
margin like and you're just like oh my god like artorias and alarm and fume and slave knight
and fuck it like oh my god it's not even the old hunters yeah yep yep like yep best part hasn't
even dropped yeah cool shit so that continues i remember talking i remember talking about dlc
during one of what i was doing my lp of it my streams and i saw people going dlc is confirmed
i'm like what are you fucking stupid are you fucking dumb what if they not call see
him's on the map you can't get into what are you fucking crazy
yeah yeah yeah yeah um also here's the like are they gonna also continue this thing of like
it's not dlc it's a patch that adds a new character like is that gonna continue to be a thing you know
we're gonna populate the world as versions come in and and up and go you know um
um that's that's a i don't know weird in between so i i look forward to the press release that
explains how to access the dlc yeah if we're going by precedent on that and for elden ring
i'm like extra like i it's always a super interesting thing with the from software games
of like where in the game are they gonna put the dlc in in dark souls 3 they had one dlc you
could do halfway through the game and the other dlc that was absolutely mandatory the final
thing you could possibly do in the game right artorias you should probably be about 80 through
right good luck finding a fucking thing in a fucking place and then walking that thing back
from that you know kill the goal kill the the enemy you've already beaten to get the item to
take it back down to the lake walk behind the lake to where there was nothing before and now
there's gonna be a thing there and just and then when you get that walk back over there like what
are you doing guys that was that was ridiculous i still remember the day came out going on to game
facts and there's a thread after thread of the thread of like i bought the dlc why where is it
why did i spend my money on yeah so so i'm thinking i'm legit thinking like in the
fucking elden ring dlc it's like in the capital go to the new door and it's like the fucking capital
are you serious get that far or just like hey you know that building that didn't open go up to
that building or the other one there's two i can think of there's two structures that did nothing
you know that the the for the longest time since the game came out the assumption has
been that one of the dlc doors is going to be michella's hand which is which is like i'm kind of
shocked absolutely nuts i'm kind of shocked that like nothing happened when i walked up to it
you know to be perfectly honest i'm like wait you're not going to grab me
oh and and i'm not going to go into the blood world okay well
um anyways yeah so that's that's like this the speculation that's based off of nothing
is that you'll go into michella's memories so you'll get to hang out with a lot of these characters
before they were awful and i think that's genuine i think that's really just based off of people
want to talk to redon mm-hmm yeah yeah i mean i also like you know you're reading about the fucking
the badass battle with fortis axe and then you meet this and then you deal with the sister
and then you get to this whole place and then you go into the memories and then you're like oh
shit there it is and you do it and it's like yeah here's your item lore it's another depressing tale
of friendship and loyalty you know and you're like oh god damn it oh you thought you fought fortis axe
i sure did oh then i can tell you the the coolest weird little lore thing in the game that's not
mentioned at all so in the game's geography directly above that horrible pit mm-hmm all the
fucking crabs are mutating into freak freak shits
huh okay
in the in the on the top world yeah okay interesting interesting okay so before
well anyway let me just explain for clarity that uh i fought the uh lightning dragon on the altus plateau
that's up top and then i fought the one that was inside the memory with fia
yeah no that's the one i'm talking everyone in the chat going pet that's the wrong one like no you
guys are idiots okay really said fortis axe that's the one i fought lana sacks and fortis axe yes
yeah no for directly above the that pit with that freak shit attached to the tree yeah you all the
wildlife up there is directly above it is horribly freaking the fuck out that's interesting that's
cool and that's what all the that's what all the fucking uh uh live in death freak nightmares are
coming death root death roots just growing mm-hmm like when i when the game says death root i didn't
think it was going to be like unironically literally literal death root yeah sure enough
which you see when you die from it certainly um yeah and that's why i'm like so now i want to
and i have to go do it but i'm like when you go back down to the bottom of storm veil where you
first saw the bloodstain like yeah is that what you're looking at you know is that yeah you're
looking at a big ass death root that's growing out of the roots that far away underground no it's
like it's it's this interesting situation where you're learning about the night of black knives and
you know all that stuff and the plan and how this is all gonna work and then you go okay well there's
that's the leftover from that mm-hmm that's a problem mm-hmm like it's a big freak side effect
problem everywhere um lands between sucks that place is ruined and it it like it was it's so
fun too that like um this is not i haven't hard confirmed it but we're pretty sure we figured
out the deal with garank for example using context clues and then once you do like basically between
like once you do it's like oh now the placement of enemies and calid makes sense
you know like yeah it's like okay if this is garank and he's sitting here then the thing right
outside and then the tower over there and then like it all is like you know okay so so um that
is interesting i smiley face sure sure it's what it feels like certainly um i am uh and then the
other things too of like you see something and you're like wait where the fuck did i hear about
this i know that's a thing what was it and like without that control left to go back two months
it's like oh it wasn't even an npc it was a fucking finger crone who said some shit and you're like oh
my god finger crone conversations like so like one of the things that is like i feel bad for reggie
specifically doing this thing and i felt bad for vati specifically but you are doing you're
getting to dodge a lot of it because of the control f thing but the tendency of characters to like
overtly lie and give you a secondary name concept is out of control yeah like in some cases for no
reason ronnie tells you she's her mom the first time you meet her for some fucking reason
right she says i'm rena the witch like why it's yeah there's multiple instances of
word and name fuckery certainly and also title fuckery um some people have nicknames and some
people have like things that they are and that they've done and i know some of the anyway well
we'll have to just keep going i spent most of the game not understanding what destined death was
until a finger crone literally says the rune of death is also called destined death and then like
a bunch of people's dialogue suddenly made sense because they were actually talking about the same
thing the whole fucking time like fia what are you talking about are you talking about this you
talk about the other thing ah you know i want to chime in here but i think for my own sake i'm
gonna not um because that that is a whole other conversation of like we have a big theory craft
on on that side of events for sure oh i'm not gonna say anything but for my own personal
edification could you type it out to me i'm curious i'll just say it but just give me
give me a cold read and every you know but like basically we were we were put uh putting together
that um uh if um uh mckella stole not mckella sorry uh if malekith uh stole the uh sealed
malekit we're told that malekith sealed destined death's power away and then uh the and then had
the um uh and then had that stolen from him in order to you know commit the murder and first
for the night of black knives to happen so malekith kind of like um you know just took it but then
had it stolen from him and like um the idea of that and then malekith's servants are are the um
the the gargoyles with corpse wax with blackened corpse wax actually i should specify because
there's just different kinds um garank sitting there being pennant and sorry and in a and a
state where it's it it's just it's you know sorry for what it's done but it's so hungry and you have
to feed him death root it's like okay it seems as if garank is very likely destined death now
depowered uh craving death root and the guard that is serving malekith that is a gargoyle that you
kill is sitting out front guarding it from the previous decept disciples of death and death
who are the god-skin apostles who are just out of reach and can't fucking get past that thing
and and and uh they're over in the tower and that's why they're all in the dragon barrow
you know that's i'll have to be honest i think you've actually thought about this more conclusively
than i have wow okay so when you see like that exact lineup it's like the guard is there the
description on the guard says who they serve it makes sense that mal uh malekith fucked up garank
uh sealed the power took destined who was destined death took the power left him there
up in a in a sorry ass state and then put a guard out front and then the former worshipers can't
fucking get to uh uh him but garank is also at the highest point of kaylid at the top isolated in
what absolutely seems to be a place of worship for them you know so um that entire stretch from
where the tower is where the god-skin is the god-skin skins are it's like oh yeah they're in the same
area near what they used to who they used to serve but malekith fucked them up and
did not allow them to you know that's i don't i don't think i could give you a hot read okay okay
fair enough i don't think i know enough about that fair enough dude no that's what we're doing
we're looking at at multiple pieces and just grabbing him going like oh shit that makes sense
it might not be it might might might be off but right now some of that definitely makes sense
it operates it feels it operates correctly it feels right and he craves death root it's the
thing that used to be his own power it's the it right death root is is coming is what happens
when obviously earth tree gets corrupted things are fucked up but like what malekith uh what
destined death was it makes sense that he's gonna want that from you to to from his old self what
he used to be you know and and um then you go into other shit about how like not the finger
crone and then someone else mentions the uh the idea of like you know the the proper death that uh
uh uh godfrey was supposed to have um god godwin rather excuse me and anyway that's that's that
one bit one one of the most interesting things about elden ring story is is tied into what you're
talking about which is like i was like the amount of time that it takes for you to figure out
that america's golden order is an order without death at all
like suddenly slots in the majority of the game's world state into place i'm like oh yeah no shit
this civil war has been going on for 10 000 years people can't die and of course that's why these
beings that we read about in some cases are still around you know um yeah like even uh
and then there's some other interesting stuff too right well anyway i guess we'll get into it
you know as as as we go but like um the idea of like what fia's job is and what she's supposed
to do it's like you're the deathbed companion and this is what you you want to do and uh oh
you fucking can't you're tarnished the tree is not letting you do your job of course you're
fucking mad i have never in my life been so certain of a person that i've never met's decision
on whether or not they have a dnr order on them or to not be resuscitated if they have a cataclysmic
health thing uh-huh uh-huh we we are we are five or we are six games in about how immortality
is unnatural and will lead to ruin it is it is a every single fucking game is the same like
deep theme of living forever would suck actually so catch this if you want to go early on back
when you got to um limb grave um agheal lake right and you triggered agheal yeah were you
near the middle yeah okay did you notice anything in that uh with the npcs with the yeah they're
worshiping agheal they're worshiping agheal right and they're saying his name out loud and calling
him down or her i'm not whichever and that and then agheal fucking comes and crisps them right
and then you fight agheal um hours later you pick up something i don't remember what but i don't
think it was immediately it might have been like either the spell from the dragon communion church
or something that basically indicates that like they were praying not just worshiping agheal
they're praying for death they were specifically calling out to agheal to end it you know and
that moment you come across is them getting exactly what they wanted um yeah there's there's
there's a million little things like you know that magma dragon you fought uh to get moon veil
oh yeah yeah yeah yeah so you you eventually get one of their swords yeah and the sword's description
is like the magma dragon is what happens to freaks that go too hard too hard union yes right
and so sudden so i'm like oh that explains why it's holding a sword right but catch this motherfucker
what happens right before you kill it final phase of the magma dragon it stands up on its hind legs
and fights you like a man like the man that it used to be it's not crawling around like a beast
anymore before it dies it fights you upright with the sword it's like of course it used to be a man
you know did you did you fight both bosses in uh the lower form lower area of knock on i know you
i know you fought the ancient one i'll tell you i'll tell you what i fought i went down to knock
ron and i fought the mimic tear and then i fought the um i fought the um the gargoyle
and then i took the thing up i took the the coffin up and then i'm at your first your first
trip down to knock ron the first trip to knock ron see off river oh shuff oh shuffer river uh shuffer
river uh i know you fought the stag i've seen footage of you fighting the stag yeah shuffer
river fought the stag and i fought the dragon kin okay yeah the dragon kin is the other side of
people trying to do what if we live forever via dragons and it sucks it sucks it sucks it sucks
yep yep yep and dragon immortality is like oh yeah before the earth tree dragons were around
just like a certain other fucking franchise you know duh and they live forever and they so yeah
that's another route to the same shit and clear like yeah exactly yeah that's another one too um
no it's it is it is interesting you know um and i kind of uh well you know i hope we'll
see more about it but like you're reading about like fortus axe's sister alana sacks and like
forming the dragon cult and all that shit and it's like oh okay interesting and it's like oh yeah
like you she's right there like you can just she's hanging out she's still around you know um
and of course you know you have to imagine just the this uh the battle to a standstill
of two bad asses and then like you know well in one case the battle to a standstill is oh
shit you're pretty good so are you let's be bros right yeah and then the other battle to a stand
still is just like everything must rot hey hey you're pretty good i don't think i'm gonna be able
to beat you what if i just force feed you a thousand pounds of aids
can i ride my horse though yeah all right fair trade
so uh anyways it's it's a fun time it's a fun time
i like that game that's a good video game more we're gonna be talking about that
shit for like two years yeah yeah yeah no like let me wrap it up and we'll get to we'll get to go
over all of this but that's a little yeah but you're gonna you're gonna wrap it up and then
they're gonna announce the dlc like one podcast over perfect love it couldn't get any better
all right uh what else you do uh yeah it's no i mean that's that's good that's it you know
multi-versus multi-verse elden ring ff6 that's me so uh
yeah i don't really have anything of super grand note to add about it's not a big news
week anyway so that's fine somnium files is incredible and is fucking great oh yeah and um
i i had what i'm gonna call i don't know like you've played a good number of visual novels
that have branching paths yeah and and the the um zero escape stuff is cool you know the the first
path i picked was the one in which every single character is murdered jesus okay like i'm like oh
i'm trying to figure out the mystery and like people are getting fucking chopped up by saw blades
and shot and fucking just iced all over and i'm like i'm pretty sure i'm okay so that that game
also plays out like um the yeah it also has the branching route okay i don't i don't know what
fucking nonsensical pseudoscience magic contrivance they're gonna throw at me to explain why i can
jump between different timelines but it'll be there somewhere you know i really want to find out
for myself i suppose at some point why no one talks about zero time dilemma it's because it's not as
good as uh 999 yeah that's the reason yeah what went wrong i i also have not played it but i have
asked people quite bluntly and it's because it is it is much worse mm-hmm oh okay so i's good i's getting
good a game like that though oh god i got so fucking confused just now the somnium files yeah i oh god
i'm getting so mad at the naming dude like i'm like talking to a character named hitomi and somebody's
like did you know that hitomi is the japanese word for pupil and i'm like shut up shut up it can't be
everyone everything um i know for i know one thing that if this is like you know following
suit certainly then like um you're you're not gonna have a full like none of what you feel
right now matters until you hit the final ending on the final like yeah no the very the very very
very first question i had once i started hitting the branches was i want everyone to shut up
and i want a yes or no and it was can i get the correct path on my first try or do or must i hit
dead ends and the answer is you must hit multiple dead ends before you have what you need to get
the right path well it's um it still has the skip text until new shit right yeah it does perfect
yeah okay the the the way that it branches is pretty interesting you do like a little investigation
scenes and depending on what i think i told you this slide but depending on what information you
pull out of that you go on a different branch of the investigation cool hey if you want to see
more crap that i'm gonna do go down to twitch.tv slash pat stairs at this week
do all sorts of crap yep this week uh elden ring continues and of course now with ff6
completed it is time to get our own shepherd a shepherd to call our own uh mass effect one
is gonna be starting and um we are gonna drop that on wednesday so it'll be elden mass elden
i am so so interested in in this yeah no everyone is because it's time to see
how angry you'll get at the choices of who we like or hate you know i i already i already know
who you're not gonna like so i get to skip a huge proportion of that i've i've again as someone
who's played one i still i already have memories of like you know the the roster and feelings about
that but i also forget a large amount of it too that was like 15 years ago an extremely long time
ago so like it's gonna be kind of fresh as well at the same time i'm just gonna make sure to be like
you know i'll go try to make sure that uh reggie has what he needs to like not get lost in the
mechanics or anything but um yeah the feelings for who uh you choose to shack up with will be
the stuff of wars for for for years to come i will never i will never forget that the first
time i ever saw one of those fucking photos of a weirdo having dinner with a character's picture
on their monitor was garrus wasn't an anime character it was like a fancy dinner and a wine
glass in front of a photo of garrus eating dinner and i was like oh man oh people people got way
into this alien shit oh yeah dude well i mean look what you know when your choices are um um alien booty
or racist human booty hey man i just you know i just can't tell i'm having trouble telling the
difference between the animals and the aliens well anyway i you played mass effect one so
i feel comfortable saying this bro i couldn't believe how fucked you were in that situation
ashley is not just racist but into the lord just hitting all bullet points perfect time to remind
the world that the harkness test exists um the harkness test is your answer to uh should i fuck
that alien as uh as clarified by um uh fucking some pervert i think it's john harkness main
character of um the fucking spinoff from dr who there i forget what it's called but i watched it
and it was like yep that dude's gonna get some alien butt all i'm gonna say is i hope you personally
torch would torch would torch would have an extremely high tolerance for uh uh uh uh the
fucking what's it antonym uh uh uh prefix dash usi jokes oh yeah during your mass effect that
didn't exist back in my first journey oh yeah well it like it's bad normally nowadays we can't
go back to that era where but like now it's that mass spec shit was like unreadable and and uh now
reggie is unknowingly encouraging it with his tweets um oh yeah i've seen it you know so it's
like motherfucker do you know what you're doing and the answer is no uh he's gonna regret a lot
of decisions by the time we're out of here so i don't know if that's true at all i don't know
regret is an emotion that reggie feels when he'd shitpost like this uh i mean you need like he
often he will make a bold gamble and and follow it up with i'm sorry i'm sorry as he runs away
so uh we'll we'll see we'll see how this shapes up but that's happening on wednesday um and then
i'm taking the uh weekend off um in fact uh let me just confirm yeah uh so i'm gonna be uh gone for
the weekend a couple days and into early next week too actually um so so uh oh really yeah that
actually might make my plans a lot easier if we're moving the podcast yeah uh probably gonna
have to do so because um basically from friday to tuesday i'm gonna be out so podcast would be
wednesday then indeed um hey page the podcast is on wednesday that's sweet
yeah so we will pick up uh after that and yeah it's gonna be i'd say it's a little a little
unhyped to start a new game and then unfortunately have a gap on it but uh you know what are you
gonna do right life happens all right all you gotta do is that when you get to that office
and the game tells you to turn left you fucking turn right and go talk to a bunch of alien weirdos
for 40 minutes that's the mass effect experience okay let's uh take a quick word from our sponsors
uh you mind if i take a a a smidgen of a break i'm drinking water constantly for
hydration reasons but it makes me have to go to the little boys room and piss all over myself
brb and there we are um oh i forgot to mention as well um dropped another episode of woolly
will figure it out if you're interested i heard um indeed update the lore um my my my mom sat down
with me for about an hour and we had a little conversation and if that's uh something you're
interested in checking out uh yeah go check out the latest episode of woolly will figure it out
i have to say dude i i legitimately as a colleague uh i you have huge balls because like i would be
terrified to give my mom or dad a camera or like a microphone i'd like just every fucking avenue of
personal embarrassment attack conceivable is open there's no one stronger no uh that was uh
that was all considered going into it but um yeah i figured it would be the type of thing that would
be fun to have down the line so why not just uh why not just do it now so yeah that uh
uh that was a thing that was a thing a thing occurred uh and and you want to hear something
you you want to hear a thing that i did that was embarrassing i just contacted somebody
for a code and they're like dude i don't work there anymore oh boy oops fucking shit
woof
so embarrassed that literally just happened uh okay let's do our sponsors this week uh
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this week the podcast is also brought to you by Shopify who uh we've talked about before
but these are the folks that are helping you get your business and commerce platforms started
to help you grow if you're trying to run a business uh we talked about it because
from making a bunch of dumb internet video game videos eventually there came a time when it was
like oh people would like t-shirts people would like pins and random little trinkets and merch
things and it's like okay uh never did anything like that before don't know how to set that up
you never know where your business is going to take you and what you're going to need to offer
people when and when the time comes uh as you're growing uh this is what Shopify comes in handy
for they can help you set up your uh all of your your online sales needs and and handle the the
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expertise to uh quote unquote expertise to sit and play video games has nothing to do with uh asking
people to buy a shirt or knowing how to make a thing where they can even click on the thing to
buy the shirt it's a completely different form of influence don't know how to do it doesn't doesn't
doesn't carry over at all so um this is where you call in the experts and Shopify is uh the type
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thanks Shopify
okay what is going on uh well some breaking news I suppose uh while we were pissing uh
they were voting it's true and for the second time votes have tallied in favor of a union
for the Activision Blizzard employees they've won the vote there was an article I want to say
about a week ago about like some potential speed bumps that were getting in the way uh to stop
the Raven Software QA team from uh unionizing but it looks like it's going to be happening
based on today's 19 to 3 uh election so good shit good shit congratulations Raven Software
let's see how the upgraded busting deck is going to step in this time and and and
we are now about to witness whether or not that entire company will be completely dissolved
just the air buster lands in the middle of the office and splits you up into three sections
that you all have to fight individually let's see it um there there's no way this is this
goes down and then nothing else resistance wise comes out so you know um man I want
like I want the fucking games business to unionize so bad yeah that makes two
and uh it's trending towards it right that's that's two more than there have ever been
in god damn decades of this thing it's just like I know I know the
oh I just like somebody just dropped US Department of Labor finds Activision
illegally threatened staff on Bloomberg oh yeah no doubt no doubt um I don't even need to click on
that um but the thing that that always gets me is like people are worried like oh no but they'll
ask for more money and then the we'll get worse games games will take longer is the big one yeah
no if games are are managed more adequately due to fucking union practices we're actually gonna
get way better games because crunch is gonna go away by default yeah union I want games that look
worse with less budget and take longer to make and I want this unironically
yeah you know what you know what's interesting to me every time I I've posted that image
uh size someone in various like why do you want shittier games like that's not what I said
I said I wanted them to be shorter with worse graphics many people were paid better that doesn't
mean they're going to be worse games in many cases that means they'll actually be much better games
um yeah and you want the people who make it to enjoy what the fuck they're doing uh because
you know the part where the team enjoys what they're doing that's quantifiable you can you
can feel it in the final product let me ask you questions especially since this is your
particular nature of extreme expertise we're talking about a QA department right in the
article it says they're they're being on average working 14 hour days on poverty wages um you've
done a lot of testing you've had like boom bust periods where you yeah all hands on deck gotta go
how how effective is is qa if you crunch them super hard all the time um when we start doing the
double shift 16 hour days um you hit a point where the bug in you can literally watch as over
the day less bugs come in um there's there's there's what there's something that happens where
you know the longer a build is in test less bugs come in as well because people find all the
obvious ones but there's a pace you expect or so and like yeah as people get tired literally
less things come in um and then uh i i told the story many times but uh uh that one unfortunate
friend who took a triple shift as it was asked of him uh who literally did a full on full day of work
you know did the nine to five and then did the six to twelve and then stayed for the dead to do
one back to eight like by that third shift nothing he was doing made sense uh the database
just like the same bug was being opened and closed for aggression and then reopened again
and like he had to out a phone call an emergency phone call had to come through to be like what
is happening in the office and like someone goes over to him and like he's just he's he's asleep
with his eyes open and literally like tears leaking out because he's just not present after
doing a full day like and it was just like okay you can't do that to your testers right but that's
what was requested and he most people said no he said yes and did it and it was like that was uh
it's insane and also illegal so um i'm sure i could dig deep on to it uh if i if i want to on
crunch statistics but it's like how many hours of the day early in the morning are spent cleaning
up the terrible work that the guys last night did on hours 14 and 15 i bet it's a couple
yeah there's there's definitely time lost on that and uh i said just now like oh
you know people were asked many said no but uh he said yes and it's like yep that is something
that was chosen but you have to understand that part of being qa which is also part of
being disrespected comes with the uh the implication where you're you're you're running
under you're basically your office is being run under the dentist system uh because if you don't
decide to sign up for uh stupid hours the idea that uh they'll just be like okay fine um we'll
see how many hours you get next week then um hope you get them is always in the air
and they will straight up just be like if you're not one of the people that's signing up for enough
ot you're not going to get enough hours on the project next week uh the threat is always in the
air you know so it's a choice but the implication the open sea you know you're not a team player
it's dark it's cold we're out on the water
you want to get home uh it's fucking insane so yes you you really really really need
anything you can and uh if i step towards this can can affect shit like that because it's not
like over the years after i left i heard that things got better because that's not how that went
oh no it didn't get what it got it didn't get better um reggie was there for a long time
after i was gone and uh it just it the nightmares continued certainly you know so uh shout out to
raven uh all the best with that dude can you give me a sec i'm having some wildlife related issues
literally outside the door morb the bork i'd like to apologize there was a deer that
fucking wandered up to the house and then the dog scared it by barking
and then the deer freaked out and kicked over my fucking trash can and put the trash all over the
fucking ground outside oh dear okay okay they get that close huh yeah yeah they get they walk right
up to the front door they don't give a shit isn't there don't what isn't there like when you're in
an area where the um garbage can attract things isn't it safer to have some distance on that with
like a dumpster yeah i have i have a big old garbage can that has a brick on top of it so
that like raccoons and shit don't get into it but this thing got scared because the dog
and just fucking knocked it over
no car um
anyway uh we're we're we uh yeah in terms of stories so what's going on uh unionization
there was a um expo that is come there's an expo coming up an la and they've announced that the
uh final fantasy nine animated series will be premiered there this week
interesting oh that's gonna be great it certainly is the one that stands out as like
artistically you're going for a very specific thing um of all the post seven seven and seven
and beyond games it's like you know the most unique um so i feel like if you were gonna pick one
that kind of makes sense but um how did that how did that um how did that 15 anime work out
i didn't like it okay well 15 anime is extra bad because it's referencing a version of the game
that doesn't exist versus 13 no like it it's referencing character traits of noctis that
aren't in the game um like there's all that there's all these there's all this like cat um
like noctis acts like a cat stuff and that he's picky and he's lazy and he sleeps all the time
and he takes off all the vegetables in his burger and oh i saw that that picture yeah
none of that none of that get in the game well um we'll see but all i really got to say is like
if you were gonna pick one to like do something like this with
artistically nine seems like it makes sense because it's just its own you know its own
separate thing versus the others that are just kind of like um trying to achieve more or less
realism i think that final fantasy has a long history with television and movies and that the
diddle i'm sure it'll be really cool
i don't think that i think it will be bad on the other hand it'll probably
encourage a lot of people to just go pop in nine and play it which i hear is pretty good
you know it'd be really nice alongside um this announcement would be like it and it's coming
out alongside the ff9 remake remaster thing i mean it's not gonna be ff9 advent children i imagine
so i doubt that i doubt that big strongly
uh well we'll find out next week but they just dropped that info uh i don't know where
speaking of final fantasy uh here's an interesting story uh at one point final fantasy 15 was going
to be made by marvel's guardians of the galaxy developer uh idos montreal
according to this article here
is that in the news uh yeah so this is a story that i'm reading off of uragamer.net
and uh it's very interesting it says a new interview has revealed that one of the at one
point squary nix had handed the reins of final fantasy 15 over to idos montreal the developer
behind marvel's guardians of the galaxy um former director art director uh jonathan joc ballet
balthat excuse me aka jjb uh as he was known uh said that they had a project they were working on
that had a really cool final fantasy game in the works um and the quote is idos montreal
brought back deus x i was the art director on that the human revolution uh then i was executive
art director on mankind divided and we tried to do final fantasy well 15 um and then squary nix
decided to bring it back to japan which i think was a big mistake but it's still the truth ours
was really really cool uh sadly not any more info about what the vision for idos montreal's final
fantasy would have been uh but uh yeah that's uh that's an interesting story that just dropped
that's that is fascinating and what's very odd is that i'm seeing a lot of people in the in the
chat next to me say that that's unbelievable and they don't believe it and i don't know man
i find that highly believable it's a very believable story if anyone uh worked there i mean they might
look at that and think yeah i could believe that story that would be credible extremely credible
cromulant is a word that i've heard used sometimes it is highly cromulant it tracks it does track um
and the the comments about um it looking really cool and uh it being something that was pulled
back to japan um i see no reason not to believe those that seems like the exact kind of thing
that would be true if it were true that it would have looked really good yep and right up until
it got dragged back to japan um you know perhaps some some feelings were had and uh the decision was
made to uh return the project to japan in order to uh you know avoid an embarrassing outcome of
some kind you know uh i mean we could never know but it would have been if this was true it'd be
incredibly disappointing and sad if the cancellation was based off of emotional rather than practical
reasons or technical reasons certainly uh yeah yeah you know if anyone again if anyone worked at
idos montreal they might be able to corroborate that story it's possible i mean we'll we'll never
know but we'll never know we'll never know um did did did you know i see someone say like oh we
dodged a bullet did we dodge a bullet or did we or did or did the bullet go in the other direction
you know it's it's uh we'll never know we'll have to open up a multiverse jump to find out but um
that sure is a very interesting story
moving on
so
apparently ea was trying to get itself sold off to nbc but the deal fell apart
uh so gene had a perfect take on this which is when when activision blizzard got scooped up by
microsoft it was probably in response to hearing about this shit so you know not one to be left
out in the cold after uh active blizzard king got picked up uh ea was you know twirling batten
eyelashes putting on some makeup sticking a leg out and uh it seems like nbc was interested
um at one point it seems like uh amazon disney and apple were also interested so uh big acquisition
moves to create that two company future described uh when one big company sells itself like that
you got to imagine that the mirror side of it which have been activision in ea for years you know
is also going to be looking to keep up with that momentum
um and let's be clear that activision blizzard king deal is still not actually gone through
still hasn't actually gone through no it may also fall apart but uh but it what is interesting is
just the you know the description of like how the ceo was not able to make the deal happen
whereas uh you know so like as opposed to the other acquisitions that have been going on and
like it kind of just breaks down you know it's very short but um it's it the the language used
is just kind of a reminder in a way that like uh in a lot of cases like make no mistake like the
job of the ceo uh isn't merely like to to steer the ship but it's to come along uh create value
for the company's portfolio increase that value and then close a deal by selling it off to someone
who will acquire it uh that's very often what a ceo's job is when they come aboard unless the
ceo is like a founder you know and like this is their baby and their their their that's their
goal is to just have the thing be its own thing um in many cases it's the job to come on and then
uh close the deal before they leave taking a very nice package with them uh but uh yeah didn't
happen so uh with that being said just because it didn't happen now doesn't mean it ain't gonna happen
sooner or later so um nbc disney apple amazon uh massive companies like that on the table
someone might buy ea in the near future if the price is right and they're looking to be bought
um the carving up of the industry continues kind of shocked they weren't able to sell themselves
hmm okay well it's kind of wild to me here's the question right if if um if idos and uh
skewenix montreal represent a 300 million dollar value and if activision blizzard king
represents a 69 billion dollar value uh where does electronic arts fit on that based on their
current uh considering they have all the fucking sports licenses probably the same as active blizzard
higher it should it should track uh you're getting sports you're getting um sims which is its own
beast that we don't pay attention to but oh they don't have fifa anymore oh they lost soccer
oh that that's a fucking hit interesting that's a that's a fucking
no fifa um the sims is is uh unbelievably huge as its own thing or was i guess i should say
at at at uh at a time um yeah you get all the sports you got all them car games the needs for
speeds you get all the uh did those even come out anymore i'm sure one of them must have
i don't think i legit couldn't tell you when the last need for speed game came out
all the biowares oh yeah that's hot
and um well once upon a time it was star wars but uh you know disney is gonna decide what they who
they want to give that to really so that's not necessarily them hmm well i would i would imagine
the valuation to be uh somewhere in between 300 million and 69 billion somewhere somewhere in
between those two you know uh yeah
i mean quite frankly half of that evaluation should be just for the mirror's edge property alone
if you ask me that's that's not true
that's not true
um
you're doing a lie you know who you know who might not be doing a lie
who might not be doing a lie norman fucking read us shout outs to the best the best category
of leak of all time in the industry favorite every time it happens it's always the fucking best
you work with hollywood that are sometimes great sometimes not in this case norman's great
but also don't particularly know or care that much to treat the nda's like anything
and casually good unawares just drop the bomb and announce a game that is not supposed to be
announced sitting down for an interview norman read us just casually remarks as he's talking
about upcoming walking dead stuff uh oh yeah death stranding we just started the second one
it's it's so under the radar because it's it's like they're asking like oh yeah you know it was a lot
of work to took like two three years to do the mo cap you know it won all these awards it was you
know it was really great we just started the second one so yeah that's cool and it's just like it's
the most nonchalant casually dropped mm-hmm
what i think the most surprising thing is like man if there was gonna be a kajima game that
fucking never got a sequel because he wanted to do something totally different i would definitely
think it would be death stranding i don't know what the fuck that place has more of it's a pretty
complete story i'll say that um but yeah no the tom holland effect the i mean for me assassins creed
one you know oh man that's the best veronica maras just spoiled the whole fucking games plot
like it's really interesting it's like an you know it's like a visiting the past retro but it's
also like the matrix mixed with you know just goes into all this shit that was not discussed in the
marketing at all at that point uh boy boy did that one just spoil what that was gonna be immediately
um nah it uh it's the best kind of leak and in this case too like always remember the context
that norman views the lens that death stranding is viewed by him is one where um he got a call
from Guillermo del Toro one day who just said hey man listen you're gonna get a call from some guy
named Hideo Kojima you're not gonna understand a thing he's saying just accept and say yes
doesn't matter if you don't understand what he's saying just say yes the number means like it's gonna
be it's gonna be cool okay it's gonna be cool isn't it yeah he gets a call and he doesn't understand
what the fuck is going on and he's like he says yes and it's one of the best yeses ever we've we've
we've got we've got uh this we've got uh a fucking uh dan oh what's his full name the virtual man um
southworth it's down south worth just at a some power rangers convention just busting out like oh
yeah we're working are we not supposed to talk about that that motherfucker turned his facebook
profile photo into a dmc5 logo before if virtual was ever confirmed to exist in dmc5 in any way
shape or form we've got uh god i think one of my favorites is like we had guy see he on the podcast
yeah yeah yeah and he's taught and he's talking about how he's gonna play a character in this game
and i'm like looking it up and i'm like does he not know that they didn't fucking announce that yet
and then they announced it like the next day before the podcast came out amazing because he had already
told everyone yeah it's it's the best it's like actors are in their own you know world they're
doing their own thing and they're working on projects and they're excited to talk about them so
just you know no prying whatsoever whatever they'll they'll just tell you fucking whatever i still
remember i think mark hamill summed it up when he was talking all sorts of shit about disney crap
and he's like what are they gonna do to me hire somebody new to play with skywalker yeah yeah uh
and the answer is no they'll replace you with your deep fake ai
copy robot the robot will replace you mark
they sure did uh what else is going on so uh death ranting to coming at some time
did you see the photo kajima put up of him holding the weapon above norman that
yeah he's about to he's about to do a negan wow you're really selling like oh you guys are hanging
out like today like why are you why are you guys hanging out today like oh secret i have a strong
suspicion that uh uh uh jeffy's summer show i don't know what the fuck it's called anymore
um which one the fuck the noddy three jeffy k's the summer video game bonanza what the
fuck is it called oh oh jeff jeff's bizarre adventure yeah yeah sorry i didn't know what
you're talking about for a second yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't i don't know what to fucking call it
but yeah they're gonna announce the the death stranding there they probably should
sure because now everybody knows um i mean hey the the uh you mentioned it but it's like
i will take the the moment to reiterate that like yeah i i i'm down for a death stranding too
i'm way more down for a whole new thing um i kind of want to see all the pent up kojima
creative frustration from the years of metal gear that he couldn't escape
have a strong feeling that he is i have a strong feeling that death stranding allows him to do that
because he's just gonna say by the way we're gonna go south where there are no ghosts
it's a whole different thing yeah yeah yeah sure meanwhile over here a completely different
story sure sure right like or like over here plus or minus some time okay so okay okay so death
stranding had a lot of water imagery which we now know to be like natal imagery right and ocean
and birth and all that what do you think the over under is that our first shot of death stranding
too is him staring out over a desert and like rifling his hand through the sand and talking about
dna because i swear i swear i will shit i will freak out i mean listen it in a world where we're
about to talk about in a funes nfts oh man i think it's it's it's i'm gonna i'm gonna say 10 percent
i'm gonna put that at 10 percent like it's not gonna be happening it'll be something different
but like it couldn't it could also happen it's not totally impossible um it's it's a red check
it's very very low on the d20 but we can roll it we can roll it uh despite all odds so uh speaking
of predicting speaking of predicting the future and the world just exploded with the phrase did you
know that the s is trans stands for sand yes yes i did i like i want to say that's the line
that's the that's the joke that broke me the moment i said it because it was too true no no no i was
giggling too much no just the essence strand stand for sand fan okay okay yeah okay oh but yeah no
that's the one where you you inverted on yourself oh god damn it um anyway uh let's let's see what's
coming but uh yeah so uh in a fune listen listen i am i'm not saying that i think he's listening to
the podcast or someone is in his ear but you can probably convince me that energy of the title
was red ash the first nft like somewhere someone oh that was like two weeks ago oh yeah oh yeah
no when i that that happened like two maybe three weeks ago right that directly predated the first
rumblings of this news which is just enough time for a bot or an email uh fucking scam to reach out
and be like the word nft is automatically found and searched and what's it connected to and someone
to go can someone reach out to keiji like who can can we get can we get in the same room and then
just like do a zoom call and be like hey man give us some drawings we'll make you some money
end of story like the time frame of that title i'm not saying we did it but i'm saying it's not
impossible so long and short of it is is the in a fune is taken as the nfts they're like mega
man's but they're not mega man's but they're nfts and i think the funniest part was the announcement
was on a site and then it was immediately followed by a story where people were like hold on the site
it's not it's not confirmed this isn't true necessarily um there's no mention of him he's not he
hasn't mentioned it anywhere it's not official and then the site shut down and it was like oh looks
like someone was coming along to just use his name kind of like someone scammed the metabots thing
and created a whole fake metabots bit um and then the day after that the video came out where he's
like hey it's me we're doing it like so there's a lot to laugh about with all that shenanigans
but i think what might be the most perfect and poetic part of this entire fucking kerfuffle
is keiji nfune world's shittiest businessman announces nft collection one week after global
market crash correct um now hold on a minute uh what does that say about gamestop
who announced their wallet two weeks after the crash um yeah yeah it's it's uh it says
it says like some fucking suit four months ago what you gotta get on this fucking shit
and people were like okay and it takes them forever to implement and do this crap a big company like
gamestop it takes that long to implement it but a man like nfune give it two weeks podcast
drops someone reaches out you know anyway um but that's not you know how you can tell cryptos in
in a fucking bad place i stopped getting crypto fucking emails like emails about
fucking shilling for crypto games like 10 days ago they all they all just fucking evaporated
i think i think the that's gonna continue for quite a bit yet because you got the
you got to swirl at the end of the the drain pipe but um
that is of course uh not the only uh exact decisions that we can we can take a look at
because uh this week as well a couple things happened one of which is they showed off the
trailer for she hulk and uh she hulk attorney at law awesome premise fun character had a fun
run in the comics been looking forward to uh what that would look like in the form of a show
the cg is not finished uh we are probably hopefully looking at render work that is
in the middle of production and then it'll be finalized once the show actually releases i hope
but uh you know what is finished the state of that lady's big muscles and this is where
we get executive decisions because uh straight up uh the the the the the it seems to be the
the tweet is deleted but um cowered execs demand a smaller she hulk
once the trailer dropped and you can see how she is standing next to hulk especially
and listen listen it's fucking she hulk okay if any character gets to uh you know defy the
typical standard and be a muscly just the like just be for up it's gotta be she hulk and um someone
who worked at the vxx company um vfx company said apparently uh that uh yeah i was at the
company that did vfx on this uh she was bigger earlier on but notes kept saying make her smaller
make her smaller we always roll our eyes like we did on sonic but at the end of the day artists
gotta follow orders um it's funny because uh this is uh very similar to the story coming out of uh
incanto where yeah pitched battle every day to keep louisa in the movie as like yeah and then
disney did capitulate only to release like one louisa doll and like a million of the toys of
all the other characters which also like shit because all the kids just wanted the louisa doll
um it's honestly like it is like beyond cowardice it's fucking dog shit just like
for a character that is all about that it's not like you're trying to go um like it's not like
you're trying to go like oh here's uh uh like a heroine like you're going like oh it's a wonder
woman or something and you're you want you don't want to go too far into the muscular body type
or whatever the execs would be like oh that's disgusting there's too many muscles or whatever
it's it's she fucking hulk the buffest of all of them there's no reason for her not to be
as as ripped as you can make her realistically with the and it's cg at that you know you can
design whatever you want there and uh they just completely are like no no because straight up we
don't want to you know straight too far from the range of window that we're going to deem as attractive
here um it's kind of fucking nuts that when you look at the screenshots there are parts there are
some of those images of where she's at now where it's like she's a big lady but um natalie portman
in real life looks more jacked on the set of thor than she does and that's a real person
well the difference there is that natalie portman's been around the block for quite a while and is
bulking up specifically for that role and somebody some exec can walk on the thing like lose some
of your muscles and she just tell them to go fuck themselves exactly right cg lady is not a real
person she's voice acted by a real person but like so when someone if a real person goes and gets
into buff shape for the role that's what you're getting that's who they are but if uh the exec is
like oh i don't like the way this character looks in final then yeah they can just keep telling them
to modify um it's fucking stupid because like like you're literally about to put a movie out that
shows you a clearer example of that and it's a real person i just ah god fucking cowards it's the
dumbest shit ever but here we are anyway um they need the cg already needs to look better in general
so uh hopefully um people can fucking the thing is is that the marvel tv shows don't get the the
good cg money no no you know but i mean they're marketing it in a way where like they understand
the snoo snoo they understand what the what they're going for on that that trailer they understand
lady d they understand the dematrescu appeal of what was recently going on with re like this is not
lost on them it's it's we're in this we're in this tough situation where the everyone in the
executive class of hollywood is probably a pedophile and they're looking at this going ooh gross and
then the artists are trying to tell them like no people like this but then they look at the artists
and the artists are all freaks as well so like who can know it's impossible
it just it's so fucking weird that you would do this to like like you'd expect it for literally
any other character um that you can come up with and you know what's funny too when you google
like she hulk and you find all the fan made early photo shops and shit over the like because people
have been editing their own she hulk what if like thumbnails for a while because like all marvel
characters get this kind of thing before they get confirmed artists are freaks we we've established
this um so you can go look at like what people have been like trying to show off what an irl
she hulk would look and some of them are terrible photoshop some of them are better than others
some of them are a tiny head on top of a one trapezius and that's the entire the entire thing
but for the most part everyone can agree when you look at that and you look at the character in
the comics uh there is much more muscular tone on the body than what they're going with here you
know so uh fuck you cowards uh eat shit um and then a couple other things relating to like yeah
those announcements came out as well they confirmed that uh it looks like daredevil is coming back
as a disney plus thing um oh cool i guess hey you want to you want to have some stupid news
from playstation um the um the the um the the ps plus stuff yeah
uh sure um no i was i was gonna just mention that like you know the
they cast the charlie cox was great casting for him and they they uh fucking you know of
all the failures of the netflix marvel shit um matt murdoch wasn't one of them so um i'm
down to see more of that exist do you what's going on in playstation do you think the actor for
daredevil ever like introduces himself to somebody and like giggles a little bit because he's like
i'm mr cox uh after a childhood of teasing probably not
okay uh yeah uh depending on your region you're getting fucking pal ps1 games
oh uh yeah i saw i got a tweet about that um it was someone kind of saying that like
the pal games look better than emulation though ps1 classics are using 50 hertz instead of ntsc
um oh no no no no that was wrong that's a lie you're you're you're dropping you're not 50 hertz
you're going 60 hertz um yeah the tv they're playing it on is also showing the fucking the
skipped frames there yeah oh dude it's like stop stop god damn it england
your fucking terrible tv decisions haunt us now in the future so um when i was back in in college
when we were learning uh 3d animation and and um you know basic uh video editing and such
i remember my teacher there explained the different formats and and what they are and
and uh the reason why pal exists is because of a miscalculation of 59.999 uh when they were converting
it it was like the basically like in addition to there's the electricity the different plugs
of course but there's a whole other thing where there was literally an error in calculation that
resulted in uh uh and them having a different format entirely for all video stuff and by the time
anyone could do anything about it we were too committed and down the fucking line so uh it's
it's it's a fuck up that the world had to deal with until we got to the hd era now i mean there's
a lot of there's i mean is this is the fact that england fucked up the tv's that big of a deal
due to a rounding error i mean it's annoying uh i do once you mentioned the calculation fuck up
it does always make me think of that mars rover that just cratered itself right into the fucking dirt
right right right the fucking the i think it was lockheed martin i'm not sure but the nasa
company they subcontracted out to used metric but the fucking numbers that fucking nasa provided
were an imperial and so a couple of the pieces just didn't fucking fit for shit so that fucking
you remember that multi-million dollar mars rover just fucking cratered itself like bam
it's because of imperial metric didn't fucking use the same systems idiots nobody double check
their fucking numbers uh someone says the 59.94 wasn't an error it was about finding the frequencies
rgb can fit in a way that doesn't fuck up black and white tv that has a clear enough signal okay uh
i my teacher said otherwise but perhaps you know what you're talking about friend um but yeah uh
uh
oh there's one over here so this is interesting because i've kind of wondered about when you have
a game that has a huge mode uh that requires a lot of players what the fuck do you do over time
as people stop playing that game battlefield 2042 is losing its 128 player mode uh breakthrough
and it's switching over to a 64 player mode uh due to the player count i have to say as somebody
who's played and enjoyed a number of battlefield games over the years this is like unrepentantly
completely pathetic so when you design it like do you just have you either you have two choices
right it's like expect the numbers to drop and then perhaps can sit but like no at some point
the game just dies off and then you leave it alone and then that mode would never be played but in
this case it seems as if they're like this mode is this game this is too too new and this thing is
still uh people are unable to get 128 people in a room ever so yeah we have to completely change
it sort of this used to be add bots fill it with bots but bots are no longer popular because you
can't you know if you have bots in your game then the game has no reason to be turned off when you
feel like it and you can't blame player counts of course uh everything about 2042 is like a
complete fucking disaster and this is just like the the cherry on top that oh they it has bots then
what the fuck are they doing what the absolute fuck are they doing
hold on a second you can okay in breakthrough 128 player mode we feel the value and impact of an
individual player and squad is reduced due to the increasing intensity of camp blah blah blah
we've noted that 64 player represented a more tactical experience okay okay whatever that's
such that's just okay come on you're there just hold up right there that is the opposite of every
single idea battlefield has ever done the point of battlefield is not so that you and your squad
feel like you're making a big issue the point of battlefield is for you to stand on a map and shoot
a guy and be like i can't fucking believe how many guys are over there holy shit there's like
there's like 50 guys i mean like well there's no version of the world where they just come out
and go hey not enough people are playing that mode we're switching it over uh that that just
doesn't happen but um i can't think of a time where something like this has ever happened where they've
like changed the game mode entirely based on low popularity the closest thing would be that that
fucking that wasn't it that basketball achievement for a hundred thousand players online at the same
time fucking thing oh man yeah i legit can't think of almost anything that's like well not enough
people to fill the rooms fuck it usually they just say fuck it and the things dies but since it's
battlefield they have to try at least do something uh battlefield has sucked shit for a long time
like sucked shit bad company too was probably the last time it was like unironically great
and that was a fucking 360 game and man that was a good one too
man this is this is slightly off topic but i want to bring it up because i'll never have another
chance uh willy have you ever played a game in which it got a cool patch and the notes inside the
patch made you stop playing it the notes of the patch notes the patch notes that were improvements
it's actually sort of last week's like uh nerf buffs that nerf the game so uh war total warhammer
three got a patch this week and one of the things lots of balance changes stuff like that one of
the things was that it increased unit responsiveness which you would think would be important in a
fucking real-time strategy game and one of the things they're just going down the list it's like
made it so that archers can shoot things by turning around and then made it so that
units that you tell to run away won't run back and kill themselves by re-engaging into melee
and i had this moment of like oh that wasn't just me doing it badly those were bugs
mmm that that's why the game that's why the units like feel like shit to control sometimes
is because they're currently like bugged out fuck so then i went and loaded up total warhammer two
just to see and was like oh yeah the units in this rts game control way better in the game that
came out five years ago than this oh man okay oh i'm not playing total warhammer three for years
at this rate i've definitely i was sorry after you no i was just gonna say i felt the like i don't
feel like touching this until they fix this thing yeah you know but in this case the the patch notes
like awakened in the like oh wait these i'm not crazy it doesn't just control like shit
like it's it's broken it's wrong and then my favorite is i go into the reddit thread and
people go hey drag to con to put formations of your soldiers was broken by this patch
like literally the number one feature of your mouse in a total war game is to right click
and then drag to the right so that your formation lines up apparently that is now like broken and
delayed by a full second so then i i check in with i check in with people that would know better
and what i discover that what's happening is that the way total war games are developed
is the main team makes the game and then they turn it over to a dlc team who handles the game for
the entire rest of its life the upkeep team mm-hmm and the and the upkeep or dlc team for total
warhammer 2 fixed a lot of the movement issues they increased responsiveness of the units they
changed how a bunch of stuff worked they implemented it they improved it and not a single one of those
features carried over onto the team making the new game
because they were working in the quality of life was on the old uh yeah yeah it's like what happens
with from software the engine switch hey how yeah hey how come from software games have a feature
and then the feature disappears in the next game and then it's back one game over because those
games were built in parallel and they weren't talking to each other mm-hmm speaking of which of
course uh servers are still down for fucking dark souls um so i still can't run the game on my pc
properly i booted up to uh for a second i don't ring i mean oh yeah no i booted up to for a second
the other day and just like got hit with that log in message and it was just like man like that bug
that was the exploit was really bad but are you just not fixing it and then saying ah fuck it
elden rings out like is yeah kind of what you know um the the total warhammer thing is crazy
because every time they put out an update everyone like review bombs the game because
they put out like the dlc roadmap and the dlc roadmap was like almost a full year of fixes
like like do you remember how long ago total warhammer two came out as sorry three came out
came out like a month two months ago right before i moved and like the patch that came out like a
couple days ago was like sometimes your units won't kill themselves anymore
so like in terms of actual feature shit it's like super far down the road
all right like that is a bad situation just like being the up the maintenance team i get or
upkeep team you called it and just having a half baked one dropped on you and go here you go
oh yeah people are pointing out that's what happened to destiny 2 that's why destiny 2 launched
so shit because all the good stuff that at the end of one one expansions was a different team
that wasn't working on destiny stop doing that i mean it's a logistics like necessity in some cases
based on like trying to hit certain goals or whatever but like you can't launch a sequel that has
that's that feels worse than the end state of your first game it just it that matters so much
and like um if you have to take your time and do what neo fucking did then do it neo iterated
part one into part two before your very eyes and then released part two yeah it's actually first
they released the test one of neo two in which they're like do you guys like this one better than
neo one and people want yeah kind of you do this and this and they're like okay and then they released
neo three but they called it stranger of paradise right and they fucking fucked up all the hair and
fur in it um let's take some emails if you got one you can send it over to castle super beast
male at gmail.com it's castle super beast male wait is it i can't remember what it is that's it
castle super beast man yep you did it we got one over here coming in from jonesy saying
hey punchy cavalry woolly and spoiler apostle pat on a recent podcast you discussed problematic
dms and uh while not necessarily the same i've been having a recurring experience with an old
college friend me and three other friends have maintained a tight group since grad and uh during
the pandemic we played some games online did some dailies to maintain sanity started with monster
hunter circled over to phasmophobia fall guys tales of symphony even now we're playing valheim
problem is there's another friend who drops in at most twice a year and um in the same breath
is telling us how much he misses us and wants to hang out but then starts telling us what we're
doing wrong in every single game and suggesting how we should be doing it instead and then starts
suggesting that uh he starts suggesting another game he's been playing and offers to quote unquote
show us how to play just recently he dropped into valheim told us he was really happy but we're
still playing and then begged me for the opportunity to tear down my house so that he could rebuild it
he wanted to rebuild quote unquote a better one that is aesthetically pleasing uh it would require
me to provide him with materials and keep the server up for multiple hours we only play for an
hour and a half at most because we're over 30 and one of us has kids it's not a bad guy and
it's not like we're hiding from him we're just playing at the same time each night in the same
discord and he kind of frames it like we're excluding him deliberately but we've asked him
to calm down and the hints and he have not helped have you ever had uh someone who wanted to be
oh yeah oh yeah i think we have all encountered this person and it's definitely not limited to
games it's like anything um i mean i'm reminded for me of uh when i got together with a group
of friends and we decided to suffer the trouble to set up a functioning adventure in crystal
chronicles for the gamecube so i got four people four gameboy advances four connection wires full
batteries copy of the game and we sat and actually fucking did it um uh yeah yeah yeah okay i remember
you talking about and going through the trouble of setting this up and i remember thinking this
seems like it's not fucking worth it at all uh so if it was worth it uh it certainly wasn't
by the time we start playing and one person just decides to like the game is all about co-op and
one person bears the chalice and everyone has to walk together and defend and all that jazz and it's
essentially um a escort the point kind of mission you know that would later become a popular thing
in fps games and the one the one guy just decided to like run ahead and not ever give a fuck about
what was going on and coordinate and just complete complete misery the entire time where it's like
you're taking damage by rushing ahead and standing outside of the circle but too bad doesn't give a
fuck i'm the main character and i'm just gonna do what i want to do and uh just made it a miserable
experience of a game that was like this is too much work setting this up to fucking deal with this
shit um so uh that didn't last very long but we got we got we did we tried for a couple of weeks
you know uh before that fizzed but boy of all the games to like really feel it in that one
where you're like i remember trying to hunt down like the last gba gamecube converter wire in
montreal lee you know it was such fucking work and then just to have one dude fucking meh
lee roi jankins the whole thing you know it was uh it sucked i still like i have a situation in which
there is uh i have i have over the years had a couple of different friends who have had the
situation of like hey why don't we play uh here's the storm anymore or back when was
why don't we play overwatch anymore you know and it's like the answer is you actually
the person asking the question the the answer is the instant we start playing overwatch you
start back seating like every other person in the discord call and also are bad
the the the answer is when we're playing heroes of the storm and you would like run ahead and
like fucking kill yourself on the enemy team over and over and then complain where's my backup
like yep yep
um yeah if you if you break it down like as honestly as possible and the responses
they don't get it then like chat we'll go hey come on man let us in let's play monster hunter
together and i'm like i'm thinking back to every time i played monster hunter with a random
collection of chat and like one out of three times there's some fucking dipshit actively
ruining the hunt yeah no no uh let's see here uh we got one coming in from e p their east coast
and west coast uh last night i beat elden ring with final count of 120 hours spent the last 15
or so with a broken controller that my dog chewed and parts of the stick were falling off
anytime i held the controller the newly sharp corners jutted into my thumbs as i fought the
hardest bosses it was a bitch but i didn't want to buy a whole new controller just for that last
section of the game uh have you ever had to continue playing a game with a shitty or broken
controller for any reason uh no um i'm gonna say that like due to most of my things being multiplayer
every time i got a console i would always get at least two with it and we had the ghetto
controllers back in the day certainly but there was always something to cycle over to i kind of
you know ever going like going back to at least at least gamecube going forward
i i i feel like i always would just if one controller got bad we'd have i'd have another
one to cycle to if needed um um you had i also fresh boxes of multiple ones forever
me uh i'm nuts uh so i have the i have the ocd so once i got once i got to the point
where i was an adult and i could buy things with my own money uh i would literally always have a
backup for every single piece of equipment in my house that i could use uh the instant it went wrong
so for example
if i don't know something happened to my keyboard
yep yep yep yep
i just have an extra keyboard available but in my youth
in my youth i also had an older brother that i would play with my bullshit and all that
so there was always two controllers and so it was not about playing the game with
a broken one it was about fighting your sibling to get the good one
in which um i would lose and then i would threaten to nark on my brother for whatever
bullshit he was doing and then i would win uh because he was always doing something
by any means necessary yeah uh but also like uh i'm the type of person that um
like okay here's a really good example i'm holding up the playstation
five controller right now i was playing zone of the enders two uh two weeks ago
and my right trigger on the old controller is a white controller just fucking completely broke
just like snapped like i heard a snap and the elastic or whatever that caused the resistance
completely broke oh yeah my my my two actually i had one that the trigger yeah and like none of
the it like it technically worked but all the the pressure sensitive shit was like completely
ruined it didn't work anymore if i did not have a backup controller i would have been like sorry
guys goodnight because i would rather do nothing than play something with a broken controller
like i would rather like not because it drives me crazy no in conclusion um like you don't
got to go that far but at the same time i think uh you're kind of nuts for for playing 15 hours of
a game while your hand was fucking getting cut on the thumb by by playing it that's a bit wild
uh when i played the 3d0 and got my fucking blister for half an hour of play i never touched
that goddamn thing again so you know anyway uh and let's take one last one here um from
an anonymous employee
who says go on in light of the recent king diverse uh diversity debacle i thought you
might like to hear about another debacle that almost made it to public light but never did
diablo immortal was in the early stages of planning a new campaign whose focus was
x y z can go to hell uh active blizzard king employees were asked to suggest some quirky
lines for the ad lib once the results were announced there were a thousand replies in a
stack thread uh in the main business wide slack channel highlighting some of the more questionable
winners um there was a lot for example trump supporters can go to hell flat earthers can
go to hell racists can go to hell elon musk can go to hell crypto can go to hell um amongst a
further a few other god awful choices um luckily once the results came out all of the sane employees
came out in droves to call out to cancel the campaign immediately uh and through pure employee
backlash the campaign the campaign was entirely canceled god fucking imagine if that actually
went live that would have been so good dude that would have cost us a fucking shit store oh man
could you imagine oh i'm wasting it gone through the timeline we could live in
we're diablo immortal almost jumped on the fucking grenade and saved the culture war
by handing everyone a coke
oh oh man i don't think i could possibly sum it up better than what you just said
we almost had it dude we almost had it we were robbed we were fucking robbed of this timeline
um thank you anonymous thank you very much man diablo immortal is just like
built to die isn't it like every time i have ever heard that games fucking name
every time i'm like oh oh it's another people are mad again could you fucking imagine
just that like you're like the name of the game diablo immortal would just be instantly linked
oh shit right in the middle right in the middle you could have saved us if only if only they did
you know um yeah i i i wonder do i wonder if one of those was people who don't have phones
can go to hell the world you see this is it right it's the world of the almost the fly on the wall
that i always talk about wanting to be the shit that almost got through because they thought it was
a good idea until everyone screamed and then like someone flies into the room and goes what are you
fucking stupid what are you what are you a fucking moron don't do that
and you know given given the recent fucking thing like nothing like if you're dumb enough to go that
far what's off the table right like if if if the shit that came out last week is on the table
there's nothing off the table you know uh good shit that's you can't we're not gonna top that one
so uh fuck it we'll see you next week you can all go to hell you can all go to hell
you