Castle Super Beast - CSB 169: WINDOWS 11 GO DIE
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She Kills.
Hello, how are you today? Good, good. What's the Morbius check this week?
I don't know if I'm going to catch that one while the meme is still in season.
I don't know. It's really going. It's it's like it's ongoing.
I feel like I load it up yesterday in an FF 14 raid and like and like fucking six of the people
started asking other people in the fucking 24 man is everyone ready to morb?
Yeah, I feel like the those at the epicenter of the the morb drop are have now tired of it,
but I do feel that the wave is still reaching out and crossing the globe.
The the morb wave is still moving out outwards, but the epicenter has gotten quiet.
Yeah, more more check off for this week. No, no, man. But just no, not not not not too much.
Just a week of bit of a bit of week of bullshit to be perfectly honest. Oh, no, not a ton of
things. But like, for example, this Friday, last Friday, rather, my editing PC exploded.
And did that thing where it's like it's time. It's time for me to go now. It's time to die.
And you're like, cool. Well, I don't, you know, I don't go into into I don't dust off the old like
get in their gloves too often. But all right, let's set up shop. Let's open up the case. Let's
look at what's going on. Let's do a fucking diagnostic. And it's like, OK, this seems pretty
straightforward. You rip it open. Looks like the power supply probably looks like that died or so.
OK, cool. It's always the power supply with me. It's that's literally the same thing I've run into
like 10 times. And like, looks like I'm getting a light off of the motherboard. So we're, you know,
we're still seem to be OK on that. Go get new power supply. Install that, do all the wiring up,
put it back and still nothing. And it's like, what the fuck's going on?
On this take it apart, take a look again. Yeah. And OK, now the motherboard is fried. Well,
that sucks. The light was on a moment ago. So glad you glad it waited to determine that until
after you came back. Yeah. And so at that point, I'm just like, I don't I don't have time for this.
So that's where that's where I call in, call in someone that can come in and help get get things
going. Because the the the process needs to we need to have I need to have it able to get the
episodes out pretty quickly, because, you know, everything that I'm streaming has a very tight
turnaround from the from the day it streams to when it pops up live. So anyway, just computer
foibles and bullshit. That reminds me of the last time I had a very similar issue,
the power supply went and I delayed my shit by a couple days and a nice man drove to my house,
picked up my computer, went home, fixed it and came back and I paid him like 200 bucks or whatever
it was plus the part. And I just I was inundated with people going, you can just fix it yourself.
It's no problem. It's not hard. And it's like, I know enough about personal computer repair
that it's not hard until it is. And the difference between whether or not it's going to be a quick
fix or a serious problem is impossible to determine until as you discovered, you fucking
can put replaced a piece yourself and went, oh, it still doesn't work. Yeah. And also,
in our particular situations, if this thing dies, ain't no work happening. Yeah, ain't nothing.
I just asked you, is that the same person? Yeah, give me a second. It seems familiar.
Okay. Well, in any case, I yeah, I basically just had a point where I'm like, look,
I realize I'm like, I know I can pull this whole thing apart and and and do a full
peace check on everything. This guy. Yeah. Okay. So right on the same guy. Shout outs to
KSK computers. Friendly gentlemen came right over within that's that same day. His car. Yep.
And and and just kind of went, okay, here's here's what's up. I'm like, and basically just
want like, looks like you're gonna like is either wait to order old parts that are older to replace
it or just get new shit. And I was like, yeah, just get the new shit and transfer it over. And
so, you know, basically just managed to get the problem solved. And I have a new editing
PC up and running within and it was within 24 hours. So I really appreciated that. So
yeah, it was the same thing. I called those guys and he picked it up and he's like,
could take two, three days and then he calls me back four hours later. Yeah. And he's like,
yeah, it's done. I did it. Yeah. So that was that was very cool. And, you know, the the like,
anyway, yeah, when you're taking this apart, you're like, I can definitely I don't I don't
want to do this. I don't have the time to do this. But yes, I could sit here and just fucking,
you know, a fumble about these pieces. But like, yeah, I don't know those those were there was
what's upon it. I like, I was kind of describing it because like, um, punch mom was watching me do
it. You know, and it was kind of like, Oh, like, do just kind of like, do you kind of enjoy like
getting in there and stuff? And I'm like, I don't mind getting inside the computer and
been piecing it together and building it and stuff. But the main thing, right, because like
we're talking about it, like comparing it to like working under the hood of a car or whatever. And
it's like the thing with this is I am excited to open up a case and do stuff when I'm putting
something new in. Yeah, and I enjoy the upgrade process when something is putting some new ram
in a new card, clunk, clunk, you know, or whatever it is, whether if I'm going into a positive,
right? But if if it's something's broken, and I have to diagnose what it is and then fix it,
that sucks. That's not fun. I don't enjoy that process. Diagnostic, like troubleshooting is
miserable. You know, so that's that's the whole difference. The issue I always had with diagnostic
troubleshooting is that I would always hit a point doing it where it's like, well, I need duplicates
of multiple pieces in my PC to that I know work to remove these from the possible failure state.
But I don't have a duplicate motherboard CPU to shove in there to test whether or not it's the
motherboard CPU. Exactly, exactly. You know, which and I mean, admittedly, like the fact that I was
getting like, not even to the point of a bios boot where I get the beeps to figure out what's
going on, it was literally just like fucking straight dead. So I'm like, okay, that simplifies
the process. But, you know, anything that that that you can anything that that gets broken down
the chain reaction takes longer and longer to diagnose because there's more moving parts,
so to speak. You know, so anyway, that that's that's all fun and nice to deal with. But,
you know, problem solved. And ultimately, now it's like, okay, just got a new replacement
computer that's, you know, faster, better, stronger, can do the editing better. And that's
all nice. But pre installed Windows 11, please. Oh, you get to have the experience now. Man,
they are dedicated, dedicated to having a fucked up OS every second time around.
It's so disgusting. And it's been the same. I can't believe years later, like 20 years later,
it's the same shit, where you're like, yep, the first thing they put out is trash. And then there's
going to be some, like, outrage that leads to a fix or a reason a reasonable version that comes
a long way later. And then they put out another version that's garbage again. It's Scott, it's
fucking horrible. It's, it's wild that I have to make sure to click the right button every time
I restart my computer so that I don't accidentally poison my computer with Windows 11.
Yeah, they really just and like their philosophy has like not changed at all. It like the whole
the same company that thinks it's like a good idea to have these desperate like pleas for you to
not install Chrome. And like every time you come back to it, it gets more and more aggressive.
You know, and like there's just this all like eight steps along the way. Come on,
Cromes, I mean, Cromes good, man. But you know, Edge, Edge, Edge will suck your dick. Come on,
man. Come on. That please, please. It is so desperate. But anyway, Edge has one purpose
on your computer. And that purpose is when a website breaks in Chrome, you go and load it up
into Edge to see if it's a Chrome issue. Yeah, they they're they're really desperate. But anyway,
that the same place that thinks that that's a great idea also has all these design things where
they're like, okay, one, we're just going to like remix the start menu again to make it this time
just kind of copy Mac OS stuff. So every every like main point of interest on the shortcut bar is
now moved to the center like it has been for Mac OS is for like a long time, you know, and we're
just going to shift it over and then put where the old start menu was a widget box so that you can
get all these widget apps available. Once you sign into your Microsoft account, of course, which
really if you don't do so, you're not getting the full functionality of Windows 11. And
sounds like I'm good to just not do that. It's and like every other thing is like, hey,
yeah, this is a new thing. It's available here. Just just please sign in, please. You really
want to sign in. You know, I don't use any of Microsoft's built in programs ever. And and they
still are doing the thing where like, I remember, God, what was what version of it was? I think it
was like when they went from like seven to nine initially or so, like, there's always a thing
where like, for example, okay, here, when they introduced the Metro layout, right, and the Metro
is all over the place. And like, you want to edit, for example, your sound options, right, when you
plug in your mic, you want to set line in line out and turn off all that that bullshit that like
fucks up the sound and everything that you do when you plug in a mic. And there's always the initial
setting. But then when there's a new layout like Metro, it'll just obfuscate one of those things
with a top layer of bullshit. So there'll be like the Metro sound window that gives you less
options that it fits nicely into this box shit we're showing you, but you want to just go to
advanced and get back to the old one that has all the things you're looking for, right. And it's
always layered behind doors like a fucking geese goose geese Howard stage, right, where you're
just you're putting more obfuscation in front of the player in front of the player in front of the
user. And so now with Windows 11, they're doing that shit again, where they have like this app
layout thing that's basically like tablets and phones are all doing this. So we're just going
to do the tablet phone thing. And if you want to get to control panel, like that's buried behind
this new settings tab that is like, do you want any of these are none of the things are what you
want. They're all app settings and bullshit. And you have to go advanced and then find the original
control panel, which is not the original control panel. It's the new control panel from like,
I think it was like whatever, like maybe two or three versions ago. And then in that you can go
find your further setting. So they just like like to put instead of actually like addressing the core,
they just put a makeup on top of a top layer and obfuscate the options that you need to actually
adjust Windows and settings by putting something that is completely nonsensical on top of it and
making it feel like it's a new OS. You know, it's funny because I was actually talking a page about
this two days ago, in which we're talking about Apple layout. And I'm like, I can't I have never
been able to figure out how to use Apple's layout consistently, which is weird, because it's supposed
to be so user facing and user experience and like for anybody can use it. But the problem I always
ran into on an iPhone when I used it was I want to get to this setting. And I know this setting
exists. And I legitimately cannot figure out how to get past the baseline doesn't really fuck up
anything settings on the phone to get to the guts of it because I want the guts like I picked up the
phone and immediately wanted to mess with the guts. But it's like, no, no, no, no, don't do that.
Don't do that. You could fuck something up. We're going to hide it five layers deep underneath a
bunch of weird hippie language. Oh, ultimately, like, yeah, ultimately, the point of a lot of these,
the stuff is to hide the guts so that you can't so that grandma can't fuck it up, you know, and
yeah, 100%. That's that's been the move. And that's that's been the the other successful one by
making things kind of dummy proof. But it's just it's so it's always a fucking, like,
guffaw when like, you have to actually to change some sort of setting, for example,
to change to do things as things as simple as like, I want to I want to show the
unknown extensions, right? Because every time you have a new windows thing, it hides the
file extension types by default. And you always go, stop it, show me them, don't hide all the
like, I want to see I want to see my fucking folders, I want to see what's going on in them,
you know, whatever. And like that same thing, it's in the same place. It's always been it's
still in your folder options, right? Globally. And then same thing for file extension associations,
like, I want to put my own, you know, video player, I want to put my all that shit. And
it's in the same place. But like, you're literally pulling up the windows XP service pack three,
like, window that it's always been. But it's again, it's just you had to click more things to get to
that point. You know, because like the the let's it's not even let's save grandma, it's more just
like, we really want you to use this as a glorified phone tablet with your windows. Yeah. And
we don't want you to really browse the internet. We want you to browse the Microsoft Store for
everything you want. You know, if you're going to install any program, don't install that program,
go to the Microsoft Store and install the app version instead. Oh, you mean the app that's
going to like lock out a partition on my hard drive and I can't get it back? You know, or that
there's a fantasy star online to partition on my fucking SSD that I can't get rid of,
because it says I don't have fucking admin privileges and won't let me uninstall it.
Or that is is not sub or is treated separately from like everything else in your normal like
ant taskbar, you know, and where you can control its settings and its launch, you know, options
and such like it's yeah, it is an aggressively dumb practice that they just refuse to get rid of.
And I they seem to just like all these years later, it's still a good idea to just make it
like, you know, if we if we take away your options and or hide them in more obtuse places and put
the new thing in front of you, you'll eventually just get fed up and walk away from it and leave
it alone. You know, and so I kind of I kind of left off like putting some basics on and then
Min was going to take care of the rest. And like he was kind of like, Oh God, well, I guess,
you know, time to learn this thing. And within like minutes, he's just like, Okay, so
you can install your own video players and you can reset your file extension associations,
of course, but you can't get but some formats, it won't let you replace the default. For example,
MP4s are going to launch in Windows Movie Player and there's nothing you could fucking do about it.
Are you serious? And I'm like, hold on, hold on, stop, go to the registry level, edit it on a
registry level, like beyond everything else. He's like, Yeah, so that that that's how you used to
have to do it if it refused you beforehand. And now it's like, Nope, that doesn't work anymore.
You can't do a reg edit to get the association working. So it's going to take some other work
around their solution for the most basic playing an MP4 in the program of your choice. You know,
like they're making it more and more aggressive. And like, it's, yeah, it's stupid. But it's just
like, I fucking, I don't know. You always like you always kind of look and go like, Well, okay,
your alternatives are, I guess, yeah, go learn Mac OS, go learn Linux. There's always those options.
And, you know, you'll, you'll kind of have to deal with whatever programs are,
you know, running and supported on those things. But for the, for the basic, like just of like,
okay, well, we edit with these programs and use these codecs and do this shit, you're kind of,
we're kind of stuck with what we're doing. For the purposes of us in particular, it's like, Hey,
man, I want to play and stream PC games. I'm not going to fucking start doing that through wine
or boot camp. That's just fucking stupid. Yeah, I mean, fortunately, you know, this is like I
said, this is the editing setup and was not not the my main, but if it yeah, if it certainly gets
bad enough, reverting to Windows 10 is probably just going to be the move for it. But at the moment,
it was just about like a speedy solution so that we could get, you know, our shit out on time.
But anyway, Windows 10 is going to be in that situation where in a couple of years they're
going to be like, we're stopping putting PC updates out for Windows 10. If you continue to use
Windows 10, your PC will be unsafe to browser attacks, yada, yada, and like the vast majority
of people are going to go, Yeah, okay, fine. Yeah, don't care. And then you're going to see articles
about how like ransomware attacks because there's a 10 minute million unsecured fucking PCs is
like, Yeah, no, because no one no one cares. I'm not going to get fucking ransomware and I don't
download fucking stupid random shit. No, so the dumber this gets the more likely it's just like,
yes, revert to revert to old windows that being said, I can report to you all here today that
Windows 11 is ass and you should stay away from it. Oh, goody, I was wondering until until further
updates. I was not wondering, by the way, I knew in my heart. Yeah, I mean, shit, man, like, I remember
when I we've talked about this a couple of times, but like, literally, like when it came to like
Photoshop, different versions, people are just like, just give me seven, leave me alone. Right.
Okay, seven and then like, at a certain point, CS two, perhaps, and then leave me alone. You know,
my experience, people talking about Photoshop versions, they're like, which version of Photoshop
should I use and somebody pulls a USB stick out of their pocket and goes this one.
Mm hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. And then and then they go, what version is that and the person
with the USB stick goes, I don't care. The good one. Anyway, some of those foibles are always a good
time. And what else is going on? I took a yeah, I took a look at Kaiju Wars.
Yeah, yeah. What do you think of it? Yeah, I can see I see the into the breach
vibes. That stuff's fun. It's a completely different tone, though it couldn't be any more
like loose and goofy about it compared to into the breach. Yeah, when you start the game and they
ask you what you want to be called and like it's Marin, your excellency, etc. So and then like,
yeah, the characters are all goofy. And, you know, you're kind of just like, and you're flipping
through a comic book as you're going through the missions and everything. So it really is just
like this is all just a thing where we're fans of Kaiju. So this is an excuse to have a little
Kaiju, whatever, turn based RPG or strategy, whatever you'd call that genre.
I don't know what it when it's a small scale thing like that. That is a strategy strategy game
trial based strategy game if you want to be fancy about it. Yeah. So, you know, the tone is the tone
is super goofy, but it's fine. I like the, you know, some of the animation and detailing on the
Kaiju's they get, they get the most love and then you get your super units, of course. So
you start out with your tanks and planes and then eventually you start getting that fun animation.
Look, it's clearly the gun that Shinji used to fight the cube. Oh, look, it's a Gundam from 79.
Yeah, that's that's that's that's fun. I dig that aspect of it. I feel like I structurally,
like still much prefer into the breach because of the, I guess it's just kind of like the way
the the the information, perfect information as mentioned is used and
the and then the unit variety as well. Like, you know, I mean, I know, although for in this
case, I kind of only got through the beginning of it. So I know there's there's going to be better
stuff to unlock. But overall, the aspect of the Kaiju thing where there's a percentage chance of
going in either direction and stuff, it changes the vibe. It's not it's not worse. It's just
a different thing where it's less of a puzzle. And it's more of just like anticipating the
the best positioning each term. Me personally, I actually like into the breach a lot more. But
that is just the reality is that I don't like advance wars, which this game is very much taken
after. I'm not a big fan of creating units to send out to die. Yeah, turn base thing. Yeah.
I like that just fine in a real time strategy game, because it's like,
it's fast, super, super fast. Yeah. But in something like this, it just I yeah. So well,
that I think the game is really cool and awesome. And I'm just like, I don't think I really like
it all that much. Well, so that I was going to say that the yeah, the one other thing that
I initially was like, oh, yeah, these are really disposable units. And it's like, well,
they're disposable, but then it costs one point to repair them. And then you send them back out
from the deployment center. So it's like, okay, it's not that bad. But it still is. And I do
think too that like, I prefer as well into the breach where you have a team of three. And when
you play really smart, you survive and you take out all the threats with those three, you know,
you are outnumbered by the amount of monsters creates a different feeling from it's a Kaiju
and you have to send out as much as you can to stop it. And like the disposable aspect of your
units is to create that Kaiju movie feeling. Because if you were a super unit that took out
all the Kaiju, like that wouldn't be accurate to all the movies they show you on the front menu.
It's classic Godzilla versus Pacific Rim. Right. So that is an understandable decision.
But ultimately, yes, it does feel it does feel better to, you know, have your three units last
through a multiple waves of enemies coming through. And by positioning yourself smartly,
you can like stop them take a hit anticipate here and hold out, you know, while the while the plan
comes through, it's a much more like tense feeling than the like, send the monster away for a moment,
and then it'll pop back out and then kind of throw everything you have at it.
Um, but yeah, still pretty fun, pretty fun.
I did what they went with the art, like like fucking like garish neon yellows and fucking
pinks. Yeah, the dramatic coloring is really is really interesting. That's true too.
Like it really makes it fucking pop. But I think it's an interesting discussion because it kind of
it touches on something much more deep down in like my, I guess, fun enjoyment analysis centers,
which is I will always, I think, prefer unless I'm, I think I'll always prefer the type of game where
I am outnumbered as my most like at the most like what I enjoy, like overcoming the odds of
being outnumbered is something that is like, I find more, more enjoyable than swarm versus swarm,
or I am the swarm. But if I am the swarm, and it's kind of like creating a, if it's going for
like creating a cinematic vibe of some kind, for example, like a Kaiju situation, or if you're
like asymmetrically in charge of, you know, I don't know, like being the monster in or being
like not the monster, but being a threat at multiple points to like a series of survivors
or something like that, you know, like if you could, if you control the stage while people are
trying to get out, or you're trying to emulate something cinematic, then that's cool. But in a
like just isolated like design sense, I much prefer being the one that survives against the horde,
you know, sounds like you need to start playing edf. Oh, well, I mean, I have played a bit of edf,
and, you know, that's certainly part of it. I could go either way on that swarm thing for me,
it's, it's like, I've enjoyed pretty much all the way down the gamut of like,
many versus one or vice versa. But for me, it just comes back down to
um, disposability, I guess, like, and that's part of the game's core appeal is that you're
throwing like just disposable chunks of units to buy time. But like I, yeah, it doesn't do it for me.
edf requires you to be comfortable with like infinite bugs clipping into the screen at
that are bigger than the size of buildings, though, like you have to be down with that or
not. I'm not down with that. So that's going to bug me every time you want the frame rate to just
dive. I want, here's what I actually want is a permanent force field that keeps the bugs at
a certain distance as I kill them. I just, I don't need them in the camera all up in the
foot. It just, it gets too much. It's too much. Um, where's my comfort cage? Anyway,
that's numb. Your comfort cage is shoot the gun more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it, when it,
when, again, when the corpses are just overlapping on each other and your model is just inside of
the fuck. Yeah. There's just goo shooting out. It's, it's, it's, yeah. Um, anyway, so, uh, yeah,
Kaiju wars are not bad there. Um, and, uh, we did, uh, start mass effect one over on the, the, the
channel, uh, on YouTube, uh, the anime. Reggie has decided to go with red shepherd.
That's a good choice. Red shepherd's a good choice. That's, that's the name. And, uh, yeah,
it's, it's off to a pretty fun start. I'm, I'm, I'm enjoying like the, this is the kind of game
where unlike, say, like any soul's journey where it's like, Oh yeah, you're kind of, you can kind
of help Sherpa because the system has lots of numbers that are not going to be clear to someone
who's playing it for the first time. You're going to have to explain things like weapon scaling and,
you know, all that bullshit. Right. And, uh, in this game, that's a streamlined RPG.
So I get to just more or less sit back and just let it all happen.
And cheerlead. Yeah. I'm, I'm very, I'm very excited about that. That feels fun to do.
And, and, you know, it's mass effect. So everyone's got big, strong feelings about things. And, uh,
there have been like just an, there's an endless chorus of like, uh, can't wait to see Woolly
push Reggie towards X or Y. And I'm like, you couldn't be further from the truth. You do not
understand how much I want to sit back and let it all happen. So what's really, what's really
fascinating, particularly about red shepherd is that what red shepherd actually is in writing
terms, changes over the course of the game. So like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,
sorry. You are your con, I didn't mean red shepherd as in renegade shepherd. I meant he
literally named the character red. That's what I meant. The name is the first name of Reggie's
character is R. E. D. Shepherd as in, oh, that's, that's insanely confusing. Yes. That's, that's
about like, cause red and blue shepherd are like the, the, no, that's so weird. No, he went with the
name red shepherd. Yeah. Okay. Not, not card committing to, to, to, to. All right. Okay. All
right. All right. Well, the, the, the only piece of advice I'll give you about Mass Effect is that
the game is built on the assumption that you're going to go red or blue and that if you do anything,
but you will run into things that just break is what I warned about initially, right? There are
some things that I'm like, Oh, by the way, this game from what I recall has this or that to it.
And yes, the consistency of your decisions will pay off better for the types of options you'll have
down the line. But it's come to my attention that apparently a legendary edition has adjusted some
of that. So it, so apparently now because of some rebalancing with the points, it allows you to play
Renegon a little bit more, I guess, effectively. But I don't know how much so they, they, I know
for Mass Effect one, they tone down the points to have it easier to hit the max. Yes. If you go,
if you go from the news, the old system to the new system, you now cap out at level 30 instead
of 60. But Mass Effect two has like major, major story moments that require a completely maxed
out bar. And that's definitely not any different. And on top of that, the big rebalance for that
legendary thing was that they completely rebalanced how choices factor into the Mass Effect three
war readiness thing where more old choices factor it in so that you don't have to play
the multiplayer, which doesn't exist in the legendary edition. Okay. So yeah, I mean,
it's still going to be kept in mind. But like the some of those changes, hopefully, you know,
yeah, make the experience a bit easier. I know one of the ones that is
interesting is the, they've taken away the gun restrictions as well. So you can use guns that
are outside of your class, you just don't get the bonuses. Yeah, they change, they cleaned
up Mass Effect one a little bit, very little to the other two, but they didn't need nearly as much
as Mass Effect one where it was a little older, a little jankier. Though you're going to get real,
real, real, hey, wait, you played Mass Effect one. One. Reggie didn't. Yes. Okay. Man, you better
have that green, that red or blue high enough when you get to Vermeier, or you are going to have a
bad day at that fucking beach talking to that dinosaur. Look, man, like, and everyone is already
kind of like going, oh, this is, it's going to go this way. It's going to, and I'm kind of like,
I understand playing Dark Souls one and going, hey, by the way, if you tell Laurentus to walk
down to the swamp where he wants to go, you're going to lose your pyromancy trainer and he's
going to die, right? There's a thing to that in that style of game. In this case, whatever happens
can happen. Oh, I'm actually going to have to genuinely disagree on that. Like, because
Mass Effect three, like, okay, in Mass Effect two, you know, you can have the suicide mission
and anybody can die in that suicide mission. I don't like, I've only, the only things I know
about it are Mass Effect two and three and what you told me. Oh, okay. Well, the big, the big thing
about Mass Effect two is that you're, you're, you're building up to a suicide mission in which
every single party member can die, including Shepherd. Okay. Listen, listen, I, I, sorry,
go ahead, go ahead, go ahead, go ahead. And the point that I'm making here is that by the time
you get to Mass Effect three, okay, hold on, I'm going to take a second. Everyone is yelling at
me to shut up. That was literally the first trailer for Mass Effect two back in like 2008.
It was literally the first piece of information about the game 15 years ago. Shut up.
Second of all, yeah, the issue with that is that if you roll into ME three with X character
dead, Y character dead, they're replaced with generic stuff or literally nothing. I am not
I am not going to for sure roll forward with Reggie's character in two and three.
Ah, there you go. There's the, okay. So he can have a completely open experience that plays out
as it would for anyone playing these games and we'll see what happens and I'm okay with that. And
again, this is not a souls type situation. It's something else. It's its own game. It can be
that way. Right. So I get it and I understand that, you know, like folks are like, again,
like, Oh, will you push this or that? I'm like, no, let him play the game, man. Let him play
the game. I'm not going to, you know, the types of disaster mitigation that I think are fair to
present to someone who's playing it for the first time are things like, yeah, the game, unfortunately,
doesn't work out when it doesn't allow you to do as much as you want with your character.
If you spread your build apart and you don't focus on certain upgrades, right? Or if you,
yeah, it's, it's basically cotor to the nth degree of the game wanted you to just be lying down one
thing, like pick one thing and then just do it. Right. And similarly, picking a, so like basically,
like picking a, picking a point to upgrade to war, I think to our upgrade towards on a given bar
is, is always, you know, useful and not spreading out too thin for that purpose. And then similarly
with the Paragon and Renegade points, you know, so that you don't get locked out of those thresholds,
which, you know, again, conversationally, you'll see the options and whatever the case. But
that, that's the type of stuff where I think it's like, Oh yeah, this is useful to know as you go
forward, because it's just in terms of gameplay, plot aside, you're going to have these, these
hurdles, you'll probably want to overcome as you unlock these abilities. But I think that, like,
yeah, they're in terms of characters and conversations and the social aspects of everything
and who you like and who you don't like and who you have an affinity for and stuff.
Everyone here has played it and has their feelings about those characters, but I don't
think that I should be pushing him in any particular way if I can avoid that. I mean,
certainly I'm going to be talking about stuff with my feelings and we're going to be having fun and
laughing about make cracking jokes here and there. But letting him play the friend, whatever way he
wants to and have any whatever outcome he gets, I think is the sanest, fairest, normalist way to
go about this and not have like, Oh, this only happened because will he push this or this only
happened because will he stopped him from doing that or saved this situation or, you know, avoided
that situation? Why not just make it the genuine thing that it can be? I completely understand
everything you're talking about. And I to a degree, I get it. But at the same time,
if Rex dies, then have fun missing out on like six hours of the best content in two games
in the future. Oh, fair enough. If this, but that's, that's the carry. That's what the carry over,
right? I already kind of, I'm already kind of like, you know, thinking about how this is going to
play out or so, but I'm taking over as of two. And yeah, it might not necessarily be carrying
over Reggie Saifal. So you know, the more that I think about it, and I went through the series a
little while ago, and like mass effects trilogy is probably the best example of why Bioware having
like moral choices in their games is genuinely kind of awful. Because you get first of all,
you get into this fucking stupid discussion, which sucks. And like, I actually hate the thing that
I'm saying, which is when you should really be lying one way or the other, because, but like,
if you don't be lying one way or the other, it you lose out on rewards and those problems carry
forward. So like in Mass Effect two, Rex has a relatively muted role, because there was like
a certain percentage of people just didn't have Rex. And then you get to stuff in three that Rex
would be really important with, but can't be that important with, because it's not for sure that he's
alive. And so it runs into the issue of like in a choose your own adventure, if anyone has the
possibility of dying like in a telltale thing, even if they survive, they have to leave to go on a
different thing, because they could not be around. And how like frustrating that actually is.
Now, and I know that like, yeah, well, that and that's just based on that's just how they
designed it. I for the record in my original playthrough of the game, when I first touched it,
accidentally let Rex die. Oh, I did, you know, that happened organically in my playthrough.
That's not what I wanted, but that that did happen with me for what it's worth. But I do
kind of, I do get the idea of like, yeah, hey, there's good content here that it's,
you know, you should do probably want to see. So that makes a lot of sense as well.
I don't think there's any like real perfect solution to a game that's this it's the whole
game is personality and bias driven, the whole thing, right? And but at the same time, they only
really genuinely gave you two real choices, even in the game's own writing. It's an issue
because Nark Paragon Shepard and Total Psycho Renegade Shepard, if you play them off of each
other, Shep looks like the craziest motherfucker to ever exist. Like the writing styles don't mix.
It's weird. But but all but all things considered like, you know, I yeah, if if anyone's getting
gassed up on the idea of like me shoving him in certain directions, you're getting gassed up on
nothing because that's the last thing I want to do. I just want them to play it and have
his experience with it. And I think that's a pretty reasonable way to go about it,
considering the other option is to puppeteer him in some way, which I really don't like the idea
of doing, you know, the the other issue that they ran into, particularly with two going into three is
that this is anecdotal, but it's anecdotal of like everyone I ever knew who played Mass Effect 2
and everybody I spoke to in the chat who played Mass Effect 2, which is the question is not did
you play the game and have everybody survive? It's how many times did you replay the final sequence
so that you had the perfect save to the third game? Interesting. Okay. And they even they even put
out stats on that. Prior to the legendary edition is like 85 90 plus percent of people made it here
with everyone alive. And it's like, oh, okay, cool. I'm glad you made a situation where
it's not a choice. It's do you want more stuff? Yeah, no, what you're talking about objectively
replacing like interesting characters with generics is a matter of content versus no content. And that
does suck. So that like I understand. I do I do get the weight of that. That doesn't make sense to
that. That doesn't make sense to. Yeah, I'm thinking about Mass Effect 3. And I'm I'm I'm thinking
about like, I don't I don't know what that game would look like if the cast, like the whole cast
was dead. Like I genuinely like there are whole like planets that I'm like, is there just not a
mission there anymore? Now, the other thing too is that like, you know, by by essentially
saying outright that I plan to go through them. That means that like there's a long time to figure
this out as well. So we'll we'll I'm describing what I'm thinking of for now. And like as we get
around to it, we'll you know, ebb and flow and see how it goes. But yeah, I imagine
anyway, I imagine as we go like I'll learn more about, you know, what what types of things would
be like really shitty to not be in the LP or whatever the case is. And, you know, figure it out.
But so we got a lot of time. It's all I'm trying to say. We got a long time. Mass Effect 1
like makes more sense in the time that it came out because it came out after Kotor,
like relatively soon after Kotor. And so people went, oh, Sith or Jedi. And then you apply that
to space cop. But we're this far forward. And the Bioware style of like hyper binary character
choice has more or less disappeared for the, I don't know what to call it, just like play it as
you would per situation that like Jensen or Geralt would do. Like, I think like, which are three
one of its biggest strengths is that, like, even if all the variations of possible outcomes are
Geralt leaves, Geralt helps the children, Geralt kills the bad guy, Geralt exercises the ghost,
Geralt robs the whatever, right? All of those are written within the context of relative
appropriateness for the character you're playing as. Okay, where Mass Effect 1, like,
Nark Shepard doesn't really have this problem. Blue Shepard is like just a huge Nark. Like,
he narks out on people, he calls the cops constantly, he's a dumb ass law and order idiot,
right? In Mass Effect 1, Renegade Shepard is I'll do whatever it takes to get the job done,
right? If I have to cut corners, I'm going to do it. Mass Effect 2, Shepard, is I'm very upset
and I, I'm going to just kill people for fun. And Mass Effect 3, Shepard is evil.
Like, he's an evil person and he's doing things to be evil. Well, and it's like, that's not,
well, here's the thing. It's not consistent. The thing is, is that the way out, because again,
I don't know what to expect, but I do know that looking at Kotor, right, both of those stories
were crafted in a really precise way with fucking like, like needles and pins, like in terms of like
how delicate the story is, because you have to create a character that has plausible deniability
in going the Sith route, the Jedi route or neither, and still has to come around to
a conclusion that stops the galactic threat and then concludes in whatever way you choose, right?
So, and it has to, again, it has to narratively make sense that you, you know, are swinging this
lightsaber around one way or the other, but like the story can continue moving forward and the
end result of your decisions is not, and then the galaxy died, it's over, right? Yeah. Two,
has to come in and take the first spinning plates of what happened 10 years ago and then put more
spinning plates and keep it like, okay, and now you have to also have the ability to wiggle within
this framework, but there's still the outer limits of being the worst evilist Sith and the best
most ignorant Jedi and still getting to those credits in a way that, you know, the character
like Kreia would be able to sit and have a conversation with you going like, you fucking,
whatever, you're not even in control of your own decisions, right? Yeah. In order to then
mirror this very delicate thing in a brand new science fiction universe, I look at the creation
of the job of Spectre as the way to do that, right? Yeah, that's exactly what that is. Spectre is a
Jedi. Outlining the fact that the Spectre doesn't have to adhere to any given rules or whatever
the case is, is our complete, just like, okay, this excuses above the law, man. This excuses the
whatever path you go here and the, the furthest extent of its, its extremities on both sides
are still going to get you to the credits in a way that you can believe by the end of the story,
you know? Yeah. And then you look in the, like you go through the whole thing and, and like just
because you know, you know, the, the, how to put it, you know, the, the start point and then the,
the branches of trees of decisions that you get to make through one of these games,
and they have to kind of merge again before the next game because it has to have like a
somewhat unified start point. You get to see that, but you get to see like, you get to see like,
what I'm going to call like the cut branch problem that exists in evil playthroughs,
which is a problem in every Bioware game. Every Bioware game has this problem. The good
playthrough where you're a paragon of morality and a good Jedi and a nice space cop has you working
the problem out via dialogue and then going to solve a problem and having a longer quest line.
And the bad solution is I'm just going to stab you in the street and take your money. The one
that stands out the most to me is Tatooine in Couture 1, in which if you decide to be a Sith
dickhead, you just kill all of the sand people. Yep. And if you're a, a, if you're a nice Jedi,
you like spend like two hours talking to the sand people about their culture.
And Mass Effect has that problem times 10, because it relates to characters. Like, hey,
this, this gangster's a dickhead, but he's not, he didn't really murder anybody. What are you going
to do? Are you going to let him go so you can hang out with him in Mass Effect 2 and have a cool scene,
or are you just going to shoot him right here and have that scene be replaced with nothing?
And this is where previous knowledge of specifically the Bioware approach. And also,
I mean, I constantly fuck up, but not Couture 2, because that's the other dev whose name I forget.
But anyway, the thing that you learn from Couture is it's not about just going and being a good
guy, and it's not about just killing everyone immediately and taking all their stuff. Obsidian,
thank you. It's about pretending to be a good guy until the moment of betrayal. Yeah. And now you
get the most dialogue and content out of playing it against the person who like you're helping
until the last minute, you know? Yeah, 100%. So, so, you know, keeping that in mind, you're like,
okay, you get like killing everything is pointless and just doing everything good is, it's fine.
But the real way to get the most out of being evil is like wait for the last minute turn.
Yeah. Also, man, I have to like, I'm going to bring it up every time. Because after I went
through the legendary edition, it like, it like viciously hit me, especially playing Mass Effect
1, which is it's very important for everyone to understand when you're playing space game
Mass Effect 1 about a space cop not bound by the law, that this is a game that started development
right after 9 11 and was made in Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. Because you can it is like
pouring out of every every like it is it is bordering on post 9 11 space fantasy.
Like in terms of what's actually going on, it's it's wild. Have you have you become a specter yet
in that playthrough? No, no, no, just one session so far. Okay, but you remember that right? You
remember becoming a specter? Like they have a little ceremony? Yeah. Because like the part where
Shepard is standing there screaming at the space UN that Sarin has weapons of mass destruction.
He needs to go in there and get the weapons of mass destruction from from Sarin is so
on the nose. It's and that's why I need to be exempt from law and I can go down to the bar
and I can shoot anybody I want. Oh man, yeah, it's it's that stuff's fun. It's also fun like
one of the first descriptions is this is talking about the the the volus and how they take care
of the economy and stuff. And you know, Reggie's like, they still have taxes in the future. And
I'm like, oh, dude, oh, oh, you whatever space utopia you think you're walking into here is not it.
You know. Yeah, no, the like there is a there's an I think it takes I don't know how long it takes,
but I feel like it takes a minute before you kind of go from like taking it to be oh, yeah,
of course, the space government council is in charge of a lot of things. And this is the way
they maintain order and do their thing. And there's always the like, oh, they're ignorant, whatever.
But the idea of looking at it and realizing this is fucked up and super wrong that like,
oh, yeah, you are straight up it like, not allowing people to have races to be represented in.
Is so insane. You recently put up the part you put up the part called take a right turn
into the coolest room. Yeah, which is like, in my opinion, the core of the mass effect experience
and it kind of never goes beyond that fantasy of like, hey, what's over here? Oh, weirdo aliens.
I'm going to talk to them about their weirdo alien stuff. But what those guys are actually,
they're sitting in there, they're fucking bitching that they're they're alien races that have been
in galactic society for like thousands of years have no government representation. It is millennia
of taxation without representation. You've been you've been there for 40 and you have a way
bigger office and you don't have to share it like that's bullshit. Man, it's crazy. The Alcor
and the fucking Folis are getting fucked. Yeah. No, it is it is absolutely thousands of years
of space taxation without space representation. And like when I went when I went through that
you're told to accept when I streamed it, I'm sitting there going like, yeah, this is nonsense.
Humanity should be arguing for seat seven on the council being being a sorry Turian
Salarian, then then Volus, then Alcor, then Hanar and then humans. Now, in I don't know
enough Star Trek, but in Star Trek, like, do you ever get to see like the flaws of
the the the Academy and or the the governing bodies three times a season? Okay. Because I feel as if
like, you know, you're out there doing the Prime Directive stuff and then you you call back to you
know, to base and they give you a couple things. But I don't know if you ever get a really good
look at it being in fact in Star Trek TNG and in Star Trek Deep Space Nine, it is well established
that the greatest threat to humanity is Starfleet admirals. Okay. Because they tend to love to
power trip. And they tend to love to institute non federation ideals and shit like that. And yes,
no, Starfleet is definitely not perfect. Okay, okay. Starfleet. In fact, there's a really,
really great speech by Cisco in the fourth season, in which he is dealing with border
skirmishes. He's dealing with religious solitary. He's dealing with a group of people that don't
want to leave vacate. They don't want to vacate their their lands. They colonize because of a
treaty signature, yada, yada. And he goes on that the problem with the Federation is Earth,
because Earth is a paradise. And it's very easy to be an angel in paradise.
Interesting. Okay, because everyone who makes decisions in Star Trek lives on Earth, which
is a post society society in which it's perfect. And there's no crime, and there's no hunger,
and there's no money. Interesting. And they're making decisions for the fringes of space in
which, yeah, people still use cash, idiots. People are so soft trade has to exist. People
still starve. They're still war. Okay. So yeah, okay, even even Star Trek as well has has those
bits cool. All right. I don't know if. Is there ever a fucking space space council that doesn't
suck in any setting? You know, hmm. I mean, the Horatio from Endless Space Two
has a has a council of Horatio, because everyone in the Horatio race is a clone of
the best guy ever Horatio. Okay, okay. Fair.
Anyway, so yeah, that's that's that's going to be fun. But also just, you know, temper temper
expectations accordingly. And when let's just let's just see what Regie does, you know, so
mass effect is is is going down.
And yeah, Elden Ring continues.
Just what did I just do so finished the capital
and walked to the basement, and then yeah, finished the basement.
The whole basement. The basement and then the then there's the invisible wall and then there's
more basement. And yeah, I got to the bottom of that basement and stopped basically. Okay,
because there's there's a lot of basement. There's a lot of basement.
Is the capital not the moat like I feel like the capital and Elden Ring is the the
fulfilling of the promise of what and or and Orlando looked like all those years ago.
I literally said as we were walking down Main Street, look at how the fucking
look at how clean and pristine this all is. And the degradation is starting, but it's not here yet.
You know, I was noting that as you walk through it, it's like, Oh, this is a full huge giant
Golden City, right? Literally the Golden City on the hill. Yeah. And you're in it. And it still
feels like the problem is it just started. It's making its way in, but you can still see the
the you know, like the sidewalks are still cleaned or swept with some some leaves and a
couple cracks here and there. But for the most part, everything is still intact, you know.
Mm hmm. Definitely. It's it hits because getting to Dark Souls one and getting to
Anor Londo was this huge like wow moment. And then as you went through it and you completed
a couple times, you're like, Well, really the only part of Anor Londo that exists is a couple
rooms in that castle, the roof here and like this one path, right? But they fake you out by having
this massive cityscape underneath it that you can't go to and you got you get to that
vista shot in Lendell and you're looking at it and I'm like staring at it. I'm tilting the
camera and I'm like, God damn it. That's an item there and that on that roof sidewalk. That roof
has an item on it. You can go there. Absolutely. And I'm like, Oh, this is not a backdrop. No,
this is not a to scale model. This is actually probably the largest souls level ever. It
is it is the full zone and it is all legacy dungeon. And furthermore, it keeps going down
in into and keeps going up. I mean, unmapped fucking subterranean stomping grounds, you know,
like, yeah, crazy. So it's and then you get there and you get to have the T pose of revelation.
Yes, which is a great moment that I've been waiting on because I knew you would get to it.
That is as I've described it. It's like, OK, fuckers, you went in. Here's your payoff.
Yeah. And if you go and if you go fucking anything but well, luckily, there's a lot of
really cheap respects in the game. But even then, luckily, there's a lot of ways to boost your
intelligence for just a second for just a second. OK, so I actually did it on my faith character.
I just put enough shit on my God. Oh, all the sour seals and just barely kick over the edge.
OK, that's fun. That's that's cool. OK, so yeah, you can you can go full in for just a bit a minute.
That feels that feels interesting because it's like that means like not it feel it blah.
The feeling I've been having of missing out on the importance of the golden items and the golden
incantations and the golden weaponry and the golden armor, you know, is all like, yes, certainly,
you are feeling that way. But here's what you get if you went the other road and you and like
you you've solved the mystery of sorts, you know, because I get I don't know for sure.
But I feel as if if you don't do that, you can probably go really far in and like maybe, you
know, never find that out until the game decides it wants to tell. I don't know. I don't know.
I don't know. Don't even answer it. Find it out. Quite late.
Quite late. Yeah, that's so that's fine. Right. That's OK. Like the vibe I'm getting is exactly
that or like, yeah, you go, OK, you can you can just be in the dark on that one.
So that felt very wild and cool and satisfying, but also fucking insane.
Like we I think we just sit there and just like brain leaks out of the ears and then I try to
keep playing and then I just break again. Like I just you know, so that's very effective.
That did its job and it led to a very fun rewatch of the intro.
Oh, I was about to say, man, it's all there. You know, watch that original trailer, the first one
and it's there and total recontextualization. So that's a lot. That's a lot of fun for like
lore, lore piecing. Yeah, yeah. The it's the capital paid off in a completely different way
from expected. Good shit on that, certainly. And I'm trying. There it is. So, Willie, I have a
quick question for you because you you might have sailed past it. Did you find an incantation
in the deep roots near some ants? Called Elden Stars? Yes. And that's what was sent me. That's
what led to the final conversation about, oh, my God, I get it. Faith gets all the things that
the game is named after. I get it. That's the final one where I picked it up and I'm like,
I was like, listen, guys, I'm going to I'm going to give I'm giving up at this point. I'm never
I'm not going to mention it anymore. But the title of the game is on this thing that my build is not
allowed to use. And I don't even know if it's a good incantation or not. But it doesn't feel
it's not. It's very bad, actually. Okay, okay. But I'm like, I'm like, but please understand
that as someone who doesn't know, it doesn't feel special when you're not allowed to do
the thing that the title of the game is on. Just understand that feeling for a second. All right,
I'm done. Well, the main the main thing is that like the game, the game loves twos. And so as a
result, it has two twists, one of which is hidden in Elden Stars and the other of which is hidden
in the law of law of regression. Okay. And I'm like, and I'm just sitting there and I pick up
this incantation. And I'm like, I'm halfway between I knew it and halfway become they doing it again.
And then you go down into then you go in past the lake, which I saw you did. And you're like,
Oh, no, they're really doing it again. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's it's we got everything. When
people said it's like every from software game combined, there was one they tangentially left
out of their mind. No, no, that one's in there too. Oh yeah, plenty of that. Well, so I have been
getting that vibe hard from a lot of the other things, certainly. But yeah, you be the fucking
there's a solid ass. There's a solid ass. Like we're just I'm like, I'm like, we're we're really
just taking a fantasy setting and we're doing space again. Holy shit. We're just mashing the two
together. You know, it's like, Oh, the reason it's a fantasy setting is because of space.
So, yeah, they're not they're not taking they're not they're not pulling their punches on that.
Like, it's quick, it's quite clear that like all the descriptions and such are like, you put
you're trying to piece your timeline together. And I'm even you're looking at it like, yeah,
sure, there's even a phase of dragons and gray before the era of the Erd tree and all that
shit, you know, but so you're like, that sounds familiar. And then you're like, and then fucking
space, you know, there's enough there's enough in Elden Ring that I was talking to people about
it. And I was like, I bet there's going to be just enough thematic overlap that you're going
to be able to make a YouTube video based on how Elden Ring leads to or at the very least takes
place in the same universe as all of the others. And sure enough, there's just enough the way they
talk about the flame of madness, just like just enough overlap there that you could be like,
well, what if what if after Elden Ring? I mean, I don't even have to like look, but I'm just I'm
sure people can tell me it's like how many videos are there are out there going, hold on a minute,
is Solair the Dung Eater? Like, did he literally say, you know, no, actually, Dung Eater is closer
to like a Sekiro idea. But but as but into like, he's got the literal son on his chest and you
know, maybe, maybe fucking sans earthbound. I don't know. You're right. Maybe you're right.
Dung Eater is sans earthbound. Yeah, it's true. Anyways, anyways, so that's that's that's very
cool. When I made my way up to the mountain, and I saw a gold mask, I have never I have never
loved a character who's had nothing to say more than gold mask based on based on one item description.
There's one item description talking about his views on the fundamentalists and it's like,
what a fucking Chad? Like, oh my god, gold mask is the best says nothing does nothing puts his
thoughts down on one item description and you're like, fucking bars every time bars kills it.
He's he's he's great. He is actually envisioning like a actual good version of the golden order
because the gods kind of not not great. And of course, you know, you got the
the fun kids, the Blive, Ranny and an EG doing their narrative intros as children, you know,
what about what about Saluvus? Uh huh. Fuck that, dude. Man, you walk downstairs over back to that
shopkeep. And that quest gets dark. Oh yeah, sure does that got real dark real quick.
Yep. And that's where I'm like, oh, there's the grim. There's the grim, you know, you go visit
the media and and and and like George starts to starts to peek through a little bit.
What was the other you've met almost all the major players now? Yeah, well, it's it's rolling.
It's rolling. There's all there's only one guy I want to talk to you more about and I don't think
you've met him and it's good old Reichart. Yeah, no, not yet. Not yet. He's a he's a cool guy.
Um, I was going to say something. Oh yeah, right behind Goldbask and and and Corrin, who's, uh,
just I'm just like, I'm like, oh, I saw that clip of you and Reggie's like, no, I want to beat
no, the ever cut me. Anyway, right behind them. I picked up that star fist and I'm like,
and there it is. Right. The big dumb, like, OK, well, there's the actual Mokujin fists,
but these are the dumb ones with spikes on that turn you into a fucking cartoon character.
And oh, yeah, they're better than the spiked Cestus. But like, are you down to be a goofy
cartoon character? And the answer is yes. Yes. Yes. Yes, of course. So, um, yay, yay for the the punch
weapons being found. So what where are you where you you did you beat the boss of the Capitol?
Yeah, so I fought Godfrey and then I fought Morgan and had that cool little showdown. That was fun.
And then it's a great rematch. Really cool round three. Did you did you fight him? Yeah,
OK, I was about to say, did you fight him the second time? And it's like, wow, you just you
just won't stop, huh? I really love how he and and Godric have that combo sequence that has a
fucking stagger for the roll call out. Like, yeah, the way that that the combo comes together
and with just enough delay on it to catch you is really cool. Yeah, the round three on that was
really fun. And then what took a took a trip downstairs and fought a proper round one Mogue,
which was like, yeah, oh my god, really? Like, OK, you know, let's do this. And it's like, yeah,
you don't even there's no room in this little fucking enclosure for you to jump and start
flying around. So yeah, you know, that was that was supposed to be round one. It was it was really
interesting going at it backwards. I and certainly not what I expected of that encounter. I was
like, oh, there's anyway, I thought where there's going to be some sort of like, you know, other
Omen related thing. But it's just it's just Mogue again. And this time around, he's he's he's got
nothing to say. And he's got nothing to I think it's a different guy pop off about not a different
guy. No, it's like Blue Road. No, no, no, it's the same guy. He's just not the Lord of Blood at
that point, you know, or at least he's not popping off, you know. But I don't know, maybe maybe
there's something to him like, like getting beaten, then running away and then jumping inside of
Michaela's blood. And who knows, there there is that that sewer section is like,
I feel like that's the limit of confusing architecture that they can get away with in
these games, because it is a mess. Okay. Yeah, it is. It is a fucking when you enter the pipes,
and you realize that you're like, oh, you're sending me in a confusing labyrinth of pipes with
the only area in the game that's mapless, because it's in between the up and down,
you know, yeah, it is deliberately confusing. Then you're in the open area and you realize
that the pipes that you're walking on are the pipes you were inside earlier. Oh, yeah. No,
well, I realized right away, because I could hear the imps falling off of them, you know.
Yeah. So anyway, good times there. And we'll pick back up and see where it goes. Fun stuff. But
I'm really, really enjoying. I got to say the most delicious is whenever something happens where
like all people just eyeball the fuck out because they're like, what the shit is that I never saw
that shit I missed this completely when I went through it. And I'm like, go reinstall the game
fucker because Oh, dude, there's so much like let's let's break down Dung Eater, right? Well,
I'm not done with that either. I'm not done with Dung Eater. You're not? No. No, I'm still in the
middle of whatever his thing is about. Oh, because I saw your crab battle. Yes, but the second phase
of whatever is going on. It's fine because the stuff I'm going to talk about precedes that. Okay.
I never got to that note. I saw him and I'm like, you're you're going to go right now.
And I just iced him right right there. Okay, okay. Yeah, I talked about it a bit, but I was kind
of like the game allows you to play both sides a bit and then make a decision. You know, there's a
couple of moments where like you could get fucked over, specifically like the Saluvus poison bit
shit, but talking it through and then deciding later seems to be how they're playing it. So I'm
like, let's just see what step one is going to be of this, you know, because it's like if you
if you're in a yurt or like law trek style situation, you know, it's going to get bad real
quick. But I decided I'm like, okay, clearly he's telling me who he is in this world and in this
game. But the way it's played out so far with those those moments or even in the less nefarious
ones where you run into the Alos and then you're like, I'm also working for the guys you hate.
And then he's like, Oh, well, I'm here too. And you're like, Oh, yeah. So the game doesn't mind
you being on both sides, you know, even now. Yeah. One like the the the blind
finger maiden is like, Oh, hey, you led me down here. Cool. Thanks. And it's like
Milan is telling you don't do it, man. And I'm like, Okay, but the lady wouldn't be there if not for
my helping her get there to begin with. So it really is letting you do all of it, you know.
But what I'm what I'm talking about, there was like right next to the finger maiden down at the
that that area beneath the behind Mogue. There's a hidden wall. And then you've got the treasure
chest in it. And then the wall behind that opens up into some sort of fashion, you know,
just like the fucking branches and shackle that shit blew it all away. And people were like,
There's another wall. I'm like, Yeah. So love it. I don't think we talked about it. But you
discovered the shackle thing on your own. Or did somebody tell you that? Oh, I did the shackle
as a I was told that like it'll unveil doors, invisible walls in front of you. And that's it.
Right. Yeah. So it fires out like a massive radius of like phantom hits. I have now.
Exactly. I've been, I've been, you know, I've been speaking to some friends that have informed
about the full size of how that works. And what and the mechanics of it are insane. But all I
thought it was was a little short circle in front of you that pops any doors around, you know,
turns out it's a turns out it's gigantic, you know, and it'll blow up the chariots,
which is a weird, unintended physics effect. And that's when I realized the power of that
shit. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's an accident. Oh, whoops. Did you finish Ronnie's quest? Yes.
Well, I mean, is that is that not like a whole game? It's so it's the equivalent of the church in
disco in that it's like you can't call that a side quest. You can't call that a side quest. It's
too much. It's like 20% of the game. It's an all to main quest. It's crazy. And it's also really
impactful as well. You know, yeah. So for now, at least, I suppose, you know, I feel like I've
done it. And that also is interesting how you're like, Oh, there's a little bit of that Dark Souls
three in there. A little bit, you know. Yeah, I'm calling that an alt main, you know, more
than a side quest. You can't fucking put that in the same category. It's the bit when you go down
the city and then you go down the depths and then you go down the city again, and then you go to
the lake and you're past the lake. And you're like, how is there past the lake? And what's
interesting too is so with Blive, did you get did you visit him at the jail? Yeah. Okay, I missed
that. And when and in seeing how it plays out by missing it, you can see that it's actually
it's an extra scene because when you when you do it without that the scene that I missed,
you walk up to EG and EG just kind of goes, Oh, how did he escape? Oh, well, anyway, wait,
what happened now? And it's like, Oh, shit, I was wrong about my assumptions about him.
And it just jumps right to the conclusion on it. But there's that little window where it's
like, Oh, if you happen to go back there to the first fucking ever jail, you know, and then you
get this extra piece of context on what's going on, that feels very much like a new game plus thing
to be like, you don't need this for this whole story to make sense. But it's an extra little
detail of a scene that we put out there if you happen to go find him. So that's the Elden Ring
actually takes it really easy on you in terms of quest steps in which you can actually miss most
of them. And the characters will auto jump to their next locations and continue as if
and you just miss whatever you happen to miss. Yep. And they they don't care. You're gonna
miss it. And that's that too bad for you. You know, I missed a bunch of them. Like,
I missed the majority of Fia's quest, because I didn't talk to Roger and her before any of that
shit went down. Yeah. And yeah, of course, the, yes, the name of the jail mentions hound and you
kill the blood hound in there. So that could be a clue, but it's still a different guy. You're
you killed the dude in there. You're not going to instantly think, oh, I should go back and check
because it has the word hound in it. And the way that you do that is you go talk to EG and then
EG tells you that he put him in there. So you go there and take him out, which that which is much
more sensible. Yeah. No, the the bit with shit. What was it? Fuck. Damn, it is something you were
just talking about. Anyway, a lot of that. Yeah, a lot of that stuff is just like, it's missable.
Game big. It'll be what it is. It's stupid big.
And like, how do I put this? Like the the the souls method of hiding NPCs
got kind of outrageous when you give us a map like this. Oh, I remembered what I was trying to
think of. What is unintentional and and like what's bugged and and fucked and probably needs to be
fixed is the the the shit with I saw. I thought it was ridiculous when you had to sit at the right
bonfire to find Bach again, right? Where it's like, Bach has moved, but he has not appeared.
You must go to the right place and and sit there for him to appear there. Crazy, right? And that
then in its in its worst incarnation with Nefeli Liu and and Kenneth Haidt were like, unless you're
sitting at the fucking grace, you know, at the end of Stormvale, they just don't update, you know.
So in my game, they did not. That is a direct result of those being added after the game came
out wild super silly on that, you know, and the. Like that wasn't there when I beat the I had beaten
the game for that step existed. The idea that there can be an in between phase for these quest
lines where like the person doesn't move once you're done with them in the location that you are,
they move once you sit at a grace you've already been at before is a really bad way to design that,
you know, every other one when it works as intended in all the previous games. And in this
one, once you're done, you've exhausted the conversation and then you quit out and they've
moved, you know. Yeah. So anyway, like that one is just like, oh, fuck off, you're going to find that
in natural progression. That feels like a very obtuse piece of, you know, thing. And of course,
like with those quest lines, I mean, I know that like, Gostock is a part of it as well,
because like he's supposed to move into that room too. But yeah, like there's there's the
doing a little tour of like the area and such, and you're like, OK, so she's just kind of going to
whatever the point is, it's fixed. But the fact that they're adjusting and adding these things
and adding NPCs and whatnot, like, is there going to be a point where like you I guess you
you can resurrect anyone that you accidentally kill in order to do certain. Well, you're supposed
to be able to resurrect. So what I was told is you can resurrect Ranny if you do Saluvus's quest
line and like actually do the evil thing by and then go back to the church of vows and
with annulment, you can resurrect her and continue the quest line as normal. Like
apparently you can actually do shit like that and get both quests done.
I don't know about that. That seems iffy.
OK, well, I can only I wouldn't I wouldn't I wouldn't fuck with any of that. I can we're
already past it, but I can only relay what was told to me by the other people
that you can you can, you know, betray and then undo the betrayal with what the church of vows
and continue the quest or whatever. But OK, well, if that's not true, then
or some say you can't. OK, I don't know what I will. People say what I will say,
Wolves, is that you're probably going to be off to Volcano Manor next because it's the next,
like in terms of the progression. Well, what I'm actually doing is I've already been given
a heads up about like I'm not going to finish Volcano Manor till I finish all the the missions.
Oh, yeah. What I mean is you want to visit Volcano Manor. Yeah, OK.
Because once you walk outside that capital and go to the next spot, the game is telling you to go,
you're going to notice a like DLC level increase in difficulty.
Like it is wild. It is nuts. Like everything just triples all of its values.
Mm hmm. Looking forward to it.
So like I saw some comments on your shows like, oh, well, he's so overpowered.
I'm looking at your character and I'm like, he's not that overpowered,
especially not for what the fuck he's going to have to deal with next.
Yeah. Those folks are never going to give it a rest and that's OK.
I'm going to I'm going to be skating and punching and we'll see how I live.
But it's probably going to be it's probably going to be rough. Yeah.
Anyways, all of this is good times.
And yeah, tune in. Come check us out.
Elden Ring Mass Effect going down on the channel.
And this week as well, we're going to be doing
getting to fighting games. We're going to be playing Kamen Rider Super Climax Heroes.
Min's going to jump in. We're going to do some do some fun stuff with that.
And then we're going to go play some tournament level Shrek Super Slam HD Remastered.
So come hang out. Should be a good time.
Do you want to take a quick break? Sure. Right now?
Yeah. OK, cool. Here, babe. See you in a bit, people.
All right. Oh, something I was wondering of Elden Ring.
What is your favorite track post capital?
Or is it something pre capital of all the boss fight music?
It's it's the Ronnie Quest track is my favorite section of the game.
OK. Like that whole fucking dive deep into
Naukron and Seofra and all that music music music track music track.
Oh, I don't remember enough. Oh, no.
My favorite piece of music in Elden Ring is the final boss theme.
OK, perfect. Great. Excellent. Awesome. Hell, yeah.
I think I think it's I think it is easily the best track in the game.
OK, cool. Cool. Cool. Because right now I have I have one.
The fucking title track, the goddamn main menu.
The title track is my second favorite theme.
It's so good every single time.
And second for me is, well, Moog, Lord of Blood version, especially,
like the the the vocals kicking in on that.
I heard it long enough and it just burnt in,
but it's such an awesome fucking melody.
I really, really love the Moog theme.
OK, good. Good. Good. Good. Good. Excellent.
Let's take a quick word from our sponsors.
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All right.
What is going on with you?
Well, what's going on with me is also going on with you.
Today is Wednesday, June 1st.
And Woolly, you had weekend plans or Monday plans, so you delayed it until today.
Unbeknownst to you, however, you have delayed it to a very, very special day.
And if you pay attention in the background, you may have noticed that there are in fact
party hats on Skelmo and Buscemi's head.
And in fact, I have my own party hat right here.
And excuse me, Zangief.
Zangief, you hungry?
Come here, boy.
Thanks.
You get them in here.
Two.
We have, we have a little, he is two years old, but Woolly.
Two.
Before we, before we, Zangief, come on.
Before we give him his birthday meal and sing him his song,
I'm going to need you to put your party hat on.
Yes.
Where are you going?
It's right behind you.
Where are you going?
What?
Where are you going?
Your party hat's right there behind you on the bookcase.
Oh, I was going to get, well, I have, I got one anyway.
Oh, oh, well, we pre-prepped it for you.
Okay.
All right.
Well, I knew where to go get them anyway.
All right.
I got it.
I got it.
Okay.
Here we go.
Zangief, come here.
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Zangief.
Happy birthday to you, high five.
There you go, buddy.
Now, no candle for you, but here's your-
That song is no longer copyrighted.
It's a sausage.
We're allowed to sing it.
Here's the tune.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Did you get up to some shenanigans?
I already-
Behind the-
What?
Oh, yeah, there's, there are, there are two birthday hats in your vicinity.
No, there are multiple lying around, I see.
Okay.
Well, I just got up and got one from a brothel fridge because I know where they are.
So it's fine.
And, uh-
Oh, I have to-
Oh, I-
You have to keep that on, God damn you.
I have to keep it on.
Oh, I see.
Okay.
Well, you might be-
So-
This is a, this is a visual gag.
Yes, we-
The plan specifically, I asked your, your wonderful wife if she could put it on your bookcase
so that it would be visible the entire podcast behind you.
Which it is.
I see.
I see.
Yes, it is there.
It is true.
You, uh, uh, would be happy to know that thematically, uh, the hat I'm wearing is in fact
a Paw Patrol hat.
Yeah, Paw Patrol.
Yeah, I, I know.
So, yeah.
So it's my dog's birthday today.
Ironically enough, also actual literally Zangief's birthday today, the character.
Oh, shit.
June 1st, yeah.
And also-
Well, hold on a short-
With June 1st, uh, uh, happy, happy month, gays.
Enjoy your month.
Yeah.
Yep.
It's a good one.
June's a good one.
There you go.
All right.
All right.
Is he-
Yeah, of course he's enjoying.
He's a fucking pig.
All right.
So what's, what's going on with my fucking wheat?
Uh, let's see.
Let's see.
I got back in a fucking Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous, of which I have nothing to say other
than it's a good, uh, uh, computer role-playing game.
Good timing.
And that it has, it has my-
Yes, very good timing.
It has my favorite, uh, Steam, uh, stats on it of any game I have currently played,
uh, because that game is Respec Heavy and it's very character-building and whatnot.
So on Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous, if I find it in my Steam, I can get the correct-
There it is.
It is listed as 68.2 hours and one achievement.
Okay.
Wow.
Jesus.
I, I got to the start of the Crusade yesterday, which is like the first chapter in the game.
Wow.
That's, that's aggressive.
Yeah, well, that's what happens when you play a build heavy computer role-playing game with
the obsessive compulsive disorder.
Where you're like, well, what if I took a, what if I took a fucking level out of
fucking Mutation Warrior and put it into Dragon Disciple?
What would happen to my stats then?
Ah, also the last time I played the game and did this.
So that's actually about 30 hours split amongst two different attempts.
The last time I actually ran into a fairly, uh, insidious bug in which a key item that you pick
up locks to your inventory.
It even has like a little lock symbol and it goes into one of your weapon slots.
But when you respect, it takes all the items out of your inventory.
And then I sold that item to a guy who leaves the game.
Oh, and I was like, and I was like, oh, great.
Oh no.
So anybody playing Wrath of the Righteous, if you get the purple stone knife and respect,
it goes into your regular ass inventory, put it back into your weapon slot.
Man.
So that happens.
You know, I, I thought I was going to be, I thought I was going to be,
be clever by putting Baldicon's blessing in the, in the item box.
And it's like, no, go fuck yourself.
You cannot, the real, the good one you can though.
Yeah, the good one though.
And did you know that if you keep it on your, on your, on your mimic, it can use it?
Yeah.
Oh.
If you put it on your quick bar, that's actually pretty interesting.
And you put it on your quick, I, so I put it on my quick bar with some perfumes and it'll use both.
It's, it's, it's interesting.
That's weird.
The way the mimic functions is bizarre.
It's got all sorts of little goofballs.
I, I haven't, I haven't used it since our last conversation.
It's insane.
It's just insane.
Yeah.
And anyway, um, let's see, what else did I play?
Let's see, what else did I play?
I played a, uh, one of them, you know, well, you, you're, you're working in this business.
You ever see it where it's like, all of a sudden everybody's talking about the new hot shit and
you look at it and it's like, ah, you're going to build a fort with your friends.
It's literally always you're going to build a fort with your friends.
Yeah.
What was the one in the woods there with the swords and the, the, the Minecraft with the
swords and shields?
Valheim.
That's the one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was that.
Now it's time for V rising, which is basically blood omen, but also building
shit in the, in the woods with your friends.
It's like down, uh, very blood omen.
Um, I streamed it earlier in the wake, uh, and really, really liked it and then was
contacted.
What's, then it was contacted eight hours later asking if I wanted to do a sponsored
stream of it.
Okay.
And I was like, yeah, sure.
I did a sponsored stream of it.
Nice.
Um, uh, game's great.
It's, it's early access, but it's one of those early access games that comes out and
it's not broken at all.
It's actually very smooth.
It's just not feature complete.
Um, and it's, it's very simple.
It's go out, fight enemies with good combat, get materials, go home, build a little vampire
castle that will, uh, you know, fucking create, uh, various materials for you to build a
better castle and build better swords and armor so you can go fight more bosses.
It's really, really positive.
Uh, a lot of my friends and I fell off of it at the same point where you get to the
mid game and all of a sudden it gets way, way harder.
And all of a sudden it takes a lot longer to mine the materials you need.
Uh, but, uh, basically as soon as it gets controller support, I'll be going right back.
The game's great.
That game's absolutely excellent.
The rising.
It is.
It is my favorite of hanging out in a forest and build a thing with your friends games.
Okay.
By far.
Easy.
No question.
Uh, the other only thing of note honestly is that I played through and beat Bioshock one
last night.
Like I, you know, I've been streaming it for about a week and I beat Bioshock two.
Sorry.
Bet Bioshock one last night and, um, that game just completely like it's well known.
So I'm not saying anything.
Anybody doesn't know that game just completely falls apart in the last three levels.
It just absolutely completely falls to pieces.
So every single part of it, the story, the level design, the fucking gameplay.
It's, it just turns to shit.
Okay.
So yeah, this has been a, it's come up a couple of times, but now that I guess it's fresh in your
brain, um, you're, if you're saying it in the last three levels specifically, that's after the twist.
It, the twist is so, um, the, the level that contains the big twist is not great.
Right.
It's definitely not as good as the levels preceding it.
But everything in Bioshock one from twist forward is terrible.
Is, is legitimately awful.
Um, and the final boss fight is, is right there next to Arkham Joker in terms of like
that whole generation's boss fights were awful.
Yeah.
I, I think, um, like the, it's, well, it's one of those ones where forever it's been like
a situation we've talked about where you're like, you just, you pull the rug out and then
it's like, okay, and where is this going?
And then it kind of just, it, it, it, it peters out, but the, like the plot, the twist itself,
the plot, the twist itself, I feel like I could have, I could have accepted it if it worked
into, I guess, like a better actual conclusion, you know?
Oh yeah.
The ending is like hilarious, you know, uh, but, but then it's also one of these stories
where I'm like, I don't know what I would have done if it were me, you know.
So more than anything you get there and you can just feel the game getting ready to be over.
And then you meet Andrew Ryan and then the game keeps going and you're like,
this really feels like it didn't need to keep going.
It feels like that was going to be the end of the game, actually.
Cause then you go on to like do like a fucking annoying escort mission and a terrible boss fight
and just all the enemies have their health values double for some reason.
It's, and it's not harder.
It's just more tedious cause you have to shoot more than a full clip of ammunition
into them to kill them.
Yeah.
And I'm trying, I'm trying to think too, like, um, you kind of go because like Andrew at that
point, he's still like the most compelling, interesting character.
And then you have to kind of replace that with now, like, you know, twisted Atlas, which is
nowhere near as interesting.
Like, it's, it's really fascinating because like you're talking to Andrew Ryan the whole
time and he's like, man, the, the, the market's raw.
And he's like crazy, but he's like interesting.
And then you get to Fontaine and he's like, I'm evil.
I'm a gangster.
I want money.
I'm Achilles.
And it's like, oh, cool.
Like, that's not interesting at all.
Yeah, it was just, like, I forget, I forget a bunch, but I do, I do kind of recall.
There's just like, you know, you, you kill the, the, the villain who you were expecting
to have an interesting conversation or monologue perhaps with.
And, uh, now you've got a Snoke to deal with.
Yeah.
A hundred percent.
A hundred percent.
Easy.
Uh, and then I loaded up Bioshock two, like five, six, seven, eight, nine, nine,
five minutes after I stopped my strain to be like, well, I remember fought Bioshock
two, people didn't like it as much or, you know, and I loaded up and I'm like, oh, wow.
Everything about the way the game feels and plays is like 10 times better.
Like not having to switch hands for your fucking gun in your plasmid and the general
movement and the general aiming is much better.
Like it's a huge improvement.
And I feel like that didn't get enough credit back in the day.
Um, although, uh, it, it, from what I remember too, though, is like, it was, uh,
not including the multiplayer though, which was completely developed by someone else and
feels completely different.
One multiplayer.
There was Bioshock two multiplayer.
What, you sure?
You sound like those people that try and convince me that Dead Space two had multiplayer or
Mentor and Prime two had a multiplayer.
Okay.
Well, hey, hey, hey.
I will, I will metroid pride.
Yeah.
I knew that would get your goat.
I knew it.
It wasn't great, but it was there.
You know, it showed up.
It was present.
It was a multiplayer is easily the worst of the pick.
It was bad.
Oh, it was not good.
Yeah, that was such, but that was the era when devs were just like, we must release a
competitive FPS multiplayer game.
This is the hot thing right now.
And it doesn't matter if you have to get another studio to do it in five months.
Go do it.
Well, that, that wasn't even a thing.
It was the, we need to, we need to give people a reason to keep the game after they beat
it in a weekend.
And you know what, I look back on that era and particularly with the hindsight of the
seventh gen, right?
And how the seventh gen was awful.
And I'm like, the problem wasn't single player experiences are dying.
Something I have heard literally every year I have covered this industry.
It was the games you guys are releasing aren't good enough that people want to keep them and
play them again in the future.
Like with the Arkham Asylum is not a game that I saw a hundred used copies of at GameStop.
Because Arkham Asylum was like a fucking certified classic the day it came out.
There was also the issue too of the full price though,
a release for a lot of that with no proper like indie market or like half price market.
You know, like you couldn't really release things of smaller sizes up until more recent
generations, you know.
Last of us, one had gold multiplayer to the point where if that last of us to multiplayer
ever comes out, I would play it easy.
But the other thing about playing, sorry, after you.
No, I was just going to say that like when like in the 360, you know, era when you had
your or when you had your PSN games and shit like that, it was basically like to you had
your there was two sizes of game that you were allowed to make, you know, and anything that
would like be in between that should cost perhaps, you know, something that would be
like a 30 or $40 game just couldn't find a market.
And so instead you had to tack on fake value, you know, and all that shit.
So anyway, whatever.
The other thing about going through Bioshock one, which I want to say came out in 2007
was that you can look at a game like that and you can start to understand why people
got so crazy about Dark Souls a few years later, specifically the difficulty and obtuseness
of Dark Souls a few years later, because Bioshock one is a game that up until unironically,
the last five minutes of the game was still flashing helpful tips such as loot, death,
bodies for ammunition has a arrow at the top of the screen that tells you where every single
thing you need to do.
All items are screaming glowing gold if you need to pick them up.
Mm hmm.
Like just just nonstop like to the point where I had there was a point where I got
trapped in a series of menus because I was trying to look at the map.
But what it thought I wanted to do was hit the what's this button looking at a vending
machine in the last level of the game and go and I thought I wanted to know what the vending
machine was in the last level of the game.
It is Bioshock one is a theme park.
Like the levels look open, but they're not.
They're actually very linear.
It it's it's just it's a it's a fucking blast from the past in terms of like oh yeah,
they made game after game after game after game of like just hold your hands to the absolute
nth degree, which I think Call of Duty went to too far.
Well, which Call of Duty has the big fat fucking icon above a character's head that says follow.
Yeah, I still I think about it as the design that's born from the dude who's got his music
blasting behind him. The sound of the game is off and he's alt tabbing his way through
the single player adventure and whatever matches of modern warfare are up on on a second screen.
And there's a baby crying right over there in the next room.
That person needs the design of the follow follow arrow glowing item.
Get it. You know, that's that's what I'm imagining of that era.
There was there was a lot of in that time period of like people that are just like,
yeah, I don't play. I don't have the sound on in any game. I was just playing metal or just playing
my music or whatever. I'm playing my music and I always interpreted that in two ways.
One, there's a certain there's a certain percentage of people who no matter how much
they play games, they don't give a fuck about the game. The game is there to occupy their time
or be an excuse to hang out with their friends. And those people will never be helped, right?
There's nothing to be done. Well, the other one is like, right. And the other one was like, man,
you guys really aren't doing a great job with your fucking sound departments that like a certain
percentage of the people is just going, yeah, I just got to turn this completely off. I don't
give a shit about the music. Who needs it? Who fucking cares? Yeah. And so demons was probably
just a like vast and violent departure from a lot of that at the time. Yeah. And then word of
mouth spread. Like like one of the things that I remember playing Dark Souls one in 2009 was,
oh, cool. When I started a second character, you just walk past the messages on the floor
that tutorialize you and just don't have to do it. Right. You don't have to do like one to me,
the absolute worst thing that kills a replay for a game is a like 45 minute to an hour
introductory sequence before you're allowed to play the game for real. Or you can't press
start. Resident Evil. Resident Evil Village recently is the one that probably doesn't the worst.
Like it's like 40 minutes before you're able to actually play the game. And it's on replay,
it sucks. booting up Mass Effect. I just to just to check the settings and everything.
Like you cannot press start to skip that opening cutscene. It's you must watch it. You must sit
here and watch what we've done. Very important that you hear the three guys talk over the shot
of the earth. And then do do do do and you get the title crawl no matter how many times you're
trying to test it for the fucking stream or what your character looks like. We're going to character
creation. Yeah, yeah. Bioshock one is is good. But man, it is it is the seventh gen game.
And I also finding out that like parts of Bioshock one were like retro actively made worse by the
Bioshock infinite DLC sucks. I for me if I have to pick the quintessential for me it's Assassin's
Creed is the seventh gen game. Which one? One. No. No. No, it's three. It's it's it's it's brotherhood
brother. I mean like awkward horse mounting and the climbing where it's like we just took and
we updated the the the Prince of Persia system a bit. The tower system and the Ubi the Ubi the
default Ubi system wasn't completely streamlined at that point. Yeah. Two was kind of the point
where it like fully showed itself. Do you remember when do you remember when they got to the end of
making Assassin's Creed one and realized the game was like three hours long so they hid 400 flags
in the environments? Flags and feathers like it's got it's got so much content.
But that that level of like sneaking and detection and stealthing and just all of that was just like
oh this whole era is about this. This whole era becomes about this from now on.
The worst I know this is retreading old ground but you know what the worst thing about the
Ubisoft formula is is that it's a good formula. It's just it's not a good formula four times a year
for 10 15 years. Yeah. The the the the thing I always talk about with Assassin's Creed is it
that I like I didn't grow to hate them out of just like fuck these. I bounced off. I grew
exhausted of them. You know like I played them and cared about them and then got tired of what
they were doing. It was it was a slow burnout as opposed to a sudden you know rip. Yeah.
That's for as for my week. I'm trying to look back at this crap. I don't know that seems about it.
Fucking Somnium files is incredible.
That is all for Pat this week.
If you want to see more Pat this week you go down to twitch.tv slash Pat stairs at tomorrow
I'm covering that Sony thing and more I Somnium files and tonight I'll actually be covering
for two hours or something. I'm going to take a look at Card Shark that devolved her game about
cheating at cards. All right. So let's see what's going on. So yeah. Big news drop Wednesday
at least two news is well as as we were like getting started it was like a bunch of shit was
was going down this morning exactly eight this morning and from from 10 a.m. to 11 a.m. before
the podcast like three different news stories happen. So yeah first and foremost shout outs to
hard drive for having a pretty fun week. Oh yeah. Yeah so I think I think basically like the I was
watching it happen live and I think the summary article they put out is probably the best way to
put the narrative together but essentially hard drive put out an article that's called hard drive
apologizes to Elon Musk for dunking on him too hard and and the short more or less it just they
didn't exchange because this is not the first time there's been there's been other times before
where essentially one of their articles gets cropped and then like then their name gets cropped
out of it and it gets shared as a meme because people just do that whatever they steal the
and then he retweets it and no credit and so he's like hey can you can you credit us
before I remember was like the last time that happened and this time around
they came back in and said hey we'll give you a horse if you stop cropping our name out of our
articles as they as they posted the zodiac killer letter solved by opening it with vlc media player
linked to the actual article and then he came back and basically said like there's a selfless
anonymous meme creators is something to be admired and it's a six on ten meme whatever stepped down
from the high horse and then they released another article and said okay let me know what you think
about this one and it's Elon Musk admits he wants to travel to Mars because no one there hates him
yet one there hates him yet and then he said less funny than snl on a bad day could make a drunk
person sober try harder and then they replied you're the expert on snl's bad days with a
screenshot of him in the wario outfit from the snl episode and he deleted his original tweet and
started to pretend that the exchange never happened and that's the end of that it's nice to know that
no matter how rich you are and how famous you are how successful you are that people who are just
complete pussies are complete pussies and can't handle being made fun of i mean the exchange
the back and forth seems like it invites the antagonism and the willingness to like oh oh
okay salvo return salvo repost haha and then it gets it just it gets like then the tactical
nuke gets dropped essentially because it's like yeah you're you're you're fucking you're beefing
with like people who are funny for a living like how do you think this is gonna go and uh and then
yeah hard drive is trending on twitter as a result um so hey kudos kudos hard drive also
congrats to hard drive for correctly reporting uh earlier today that sega has announced that the
new sonic game will be one of the bad ones so other thing just uh uh uh this week this uh news
firm from today footage of sonic frontiers has released and uh firmly cemented this is the second
genre in the second entry in the hire this man uh art style trilogy we'll see what comes third uh
but i'm i'm calling this a hire this man game this is what i'm calling what was the first one
what was the first jump force oh my god oh my god oh all right good jump and now and uh uh
sonic frontiers is the is part of the hire this man category of games um 100 yeah so they've
showed up some footage and and and here's the thing like the world is the it's the beautiful
grass it's the beautiful lighting it's realistic and it's the unreal uh the default again the the
sega hire this man bit um looking at the footage which is like seven minutes uh initially the
honest truth is that like it is possible to make a game that is good and fun with this kind of
lighting absolutely um and i and i think that they could do that but the footage they showed off um
you it makes me wonder it's like does the realism has to come at the cost of
feeling kind of stiff and sterile and tech demo-ish you know because well you're kind of looking at
the way the the obstacles are implemented around the world and it has that kind of
that wooden feeling to it but it's like you don't have the way that like the the ziplines and the
the fucking uh the loop-to-loops are just hanging in midair yeah it's unsupported by anything other
than magic well and i think um a part of it too is like when you're you know when you're running
around the world that has like not any real enemies or characters or things happening in it as well
it it kind of it feels a bit like a sonic dropped into the witness kind of situation a little bit
and um yeah i and it's so it's like you don't the visual style here doesn't have to go hand in hand
with this kind of like tech demo we isolated vibe you know so it's it's a bit odd as a first look but
you know if you show off an area that has more life to it then perhaps you know this could be
interesting so there's a couple things that i'm feeling about this and both of those were pointed
out by others before i could get to so uh credit to those people who've surfaced this thought
one uh the game looks suspiciously like fantasy star online dude new genesis
like asset wise oh okay like like i would not be surprised if they're reusing some of that
and the second of which is that uh sonic team has this tendency to show off um like a sonic game
and i was like hey that looks like a cool idea that could be good needs a little bit of work but
you know it's shaping up and then the release date gets announced to be like five months away
and you're like oh that's basically done isn't it oh this isn't like the prototype this is what
this is it yeah um that's that could be the case because i mean that's exactly what i
thought looking at this was like okay so like hire this man sure but you can still make something
fun out of that you know like it's possible but if this is early and what we're seeing is early
then sure all right let's see what it what it gets with more time in the oven um but uh it's coming
out this year yeah i'm looking for a date it was just it was a no no specific date yet but it's
they said 2022 either november or december and of course the thing is going to be like all right
like will every environment be an open landscape or will there be like no that's the environment
will there be city will there be tunnel the environment the environment that you see
is the is that one is that's what's gonna be anyway it that's that's that's the the main thing
about it is is uh yeah just a kind of a weird sterility to it i'm sure in about 15 years we're
gonna have a bunch of people saying how it's absolutely underrated and incredible and and
how it holds up just as well as sonic adventure 2 it's entirely possible that they want to do
some sort of like again the witness or breath of the wild kind of bit where it's going to be
sonic in isolation solving ground puzzles um but i i i i doubt it you know like that could be the
point of the the story they're going for but i doubt it i kind of imagine it's just it's just
built without other life besides sonic running around running around it so far you know like
well it is a 3d sonic so i'm sure there will be some speed pads that people can jump on so that
sonic goes fast and then he does a loop to loop and they go look at the camera go and then some
people will be happy this the sonic will be the sonic wars will rage until like we're literally
dead in the ground like it's it's it's gonna just it'll it'll be a thing um and that's why
i'm very excited to bring up our next topic uh pokemon oh yes no no listen i actually i mean
there's a new trailer there's an i don't have there's not much to really say the the only thing to
say about it is um that i think is pretty cool is toby fox is working on the music uh for the
overworld team in this game and uh that shit is awesome because um i like when i told me box is
talented enough that you could just work on his own shit and continue to make good games and not
have to really collaborate with anybody or work on other projects but if he's going to export his
skills to other things um his writing and his music are the things that are awesome that i'd love to
see him work on other projects with so that's dope uh it we need to see more but if um this game
takes place more after arceus then like sword and shield then yeah this might be very interesting
though then making like feral hot lady side cut professor and giga chad professor
literal giga chad meme professor feels like they know what they're doing on this one yeah um
i mean i saw the first thing i saw was the the um the chubby guy talking too fast as the
whatever the virgin pokemon explainer versus the chad professor you know and it was it was
the exact meme it was just the exact meme of of giga chad versus the virgin and like i'm like it
this this could have been made by uh pokemon official you know account and put out there
because it feels like when you look at the kid the professor that that's exactly what they made him
for um and yes lechonk lechonk is there too is he's a fat pig he looks like my dog he's a chonker
by the way will it just uh for technical uh concerns right now uh is my audio crackling
for you because i'm seeing a lot of complaints about my specific audio uh it was like an hour ago
for a bit but it's fine currently i just you had there's a bit of a discord uh hiccup earlier but
oh okay okay that might be internet and not me apologies to anyone listening to this in the future
um well in the future it's fine because it's local recordings yeah the we'll see we'll see in the mp3
uh yeah so they released a little trailer for that and then they announced like five warhammer 40k
games and it was kind of um so i want to see who was it that i was watching there's a video essayist
uh that recently put out a video called they're jealous of warhead uh race vic it's race of it so
um where he is jealous of warhammer fans uh and the long and short of it is that his favorite thing
in the world is mass effect and if he wants to play something for mass effect he has mass effect
one two or three or a really bad uh tablet game right but if you're a warhammer fan and you want
to play something there is something in every single genre for warhammer if there is there's
like literally 20 rts's there's a there's a couple shooters there's tactical rpgs there's
fucking space games there's shit management games etc there's only one problem about 80 percent of them
are fucking terrible like a good four out of five are awful now that still makes them there's
actually a lot of really good ones but a bunch of them are trash that being said the games that
got announced today look really good yeah um so that will like of all the warhammer games i'm just
thinking of like the ones i actually hear people talk about and you know you hear about vermin
tide you hear about dawn of war you hear about i mean for a minute there was a bit of space marine
talk um but space marine's a great game it's it's just a really good action game but but yeah that
that trend of just continuing to release into every genre continues because uh straight up like
i'll fuck down a game so first alcat announced uh 40k rogue trader uh which is a crpg so like
two days ago this rumor going around going alcat's next game might not be pathfinder it might be
starfinder rumors about them doing a sci-fi computer role-playing game are coming out
and they came out they're like no man it's not starfinder promise and now today it's like it's 40k
it's the first computer role-playing game in the 40k universe have they done stuff like with
those animated cutscenes in that style before no that seems to be kind of new yeah so the the
cutscenes looking thing for 40k is just super high-end cg cutscenes mm-hmm but like that that
particular animated look uh you know like yeah pretty interesting i i bet that's not gonna be in the
game no i bet that's trailer only set up stuff i'm sure our cutscenes you know whatever but yeah
there's a bit of gameplay and it's you know you're you're you're looking at classic rpg view and and
stuff going down and you're gonna be you're gonna be dealing with the aldor and the fucking the
fucking necron and all those fucking weirdo aliens you doing pathfinder stuff pretty much
one-to-one i assume right so it's gonna be very interesting because like humans in 40k are so
unrepentantly awful and violent towards all non-humans that i'm gonna wonder how a
dialogue tree with like the aldor the orcs is gonna work out i mean i know that it's like
there's i know that 40k is a giant crazy developed world with tons of millions and
millions of different things to that stories and character types and genre and and things
is that you can focus in on but the shit that i always see in here is just the biggest most
fart sniffing pontificating about the emperor it seems to be like this is the soil we plant
everything on you're totally right a hundred and like yeah you're just you then that's the
shit you gotta fucking put up with so of course you're gonna be uh dealing with shitty humans
constantly if that's what the backdrop of the vibe of the whole thing is you know yeah for me
it's always been like any excuse to see the cool factions and it's why the trailer they put out
makes like a note that it shows off like multiple alien factions and it's going to be about exploring
uncharted space so you're probably gonna run into every notable 40k faction in some context
whatsoever you're gonna meet a chaos guy you're gonna meet the tau you're gonna meet the necron
you're gonna see some orcs etc um so that's coming to consoles and pc uh and right next to that was
uh the reveal of uh 40k bolt gun which dude i gotta say like i'm like where what is where
are you going with this trailer and it's basically someone pulling out their little their old fort
their little toys the little miniatures right all these memories from the past old things
there's a fucking element sticker from a skateboard like at one point on a you know a notebook and
then pulling out a floppy disk and having bolt gun sketched and doodled on it popping it in and
then it loads up what is essentially 40k doom and it's like yeah they're just making like their
own official 40k doom like quake maybe but like the boomer shooter 40k boomer shooters yeah like
the logo for bolt gun looks like they're doing the doom thing you know um yeah but yeah and it's
just like okay that's it they're just pretending that this was a game from back in the past that
that never came out and it looks like it and it looks cool it's like well it looks it looks better
than it looks better than it should be for a boomer shooter that's the thing it's it's uh again
it's cheating a little bit but it looks really looks dope looks dope um and uh i want to focus
entertainment exactly yeah so um probably gonna cover that then cool
uh let's see right now
12 2023 on both of them
so um i don't i don't know what they did besides a planks tail but um that's a that's a fun that's
a fun project um then they announced uh 40k shooters blood and teeth which is just orc boys
running and gonna see this one you didn't see no yeah here shooters blood and teeth um and teeth
with the teeth it's just it's just it's orc boys running around in a like scribble knots art style
yeah it's like scribble knots art style and just shoot DACA wow but with orcs change your guns
stupid put your shit but just just run and shoot and dumb and i love it and bar
i fucking love it it's great yeah yeah um
so orcs get their wrap oh there's a demo out for that right now
cute for cute 40k is kind of wild because like as you're watching the trailer you're like okay
you can imagine you can see the the the the the goofy orc like cartoonish art style and it's you
know cute cute and silly but then they're gonna start fighting against real like 40k stuff which is
like dead serious and not at all like you know made for this type of look so that's gonna get weird
real quick um but in any case that's a that's another fun one um and then they announced uh
dark tide rejects will rise which is uh yeah going uh underexed in the tide series
wait what dark tide rejects will rise yeah here is that is that dark tide what is that oh that's
just a text um yeah for warhammer 40k dark tide rejects will rise and then it was pretty much just
a cinematic of it but oh rejects will rise is the name of the trailer
oh that's weird um
it's just a dark tide trailer but it is for september 13th yeah there you go right so yeah
just a big old steam thank goodness a big old warhammer 40k the fucking announcement drop bomb
today want to play dark tide so bad dude like vermin tide is like such a legitimately fantastic
successor to the uh left for dead formula
um doesn't really have guns so is it is it uh so it's vermin tide vermin tide two and then this
yeah yeah okay uh yeah so that's that's what they announced um i think bolgun looks like i want to
i want to fucking see if that has any of the um like is it gonna play it completely faithful
or they're gonna have fun with it like in a duskish kind of way you know
uh bolgun i don't know because like it's already pretty silly due to its uh due to its
fucking its tone and its look i i respect the again the shovel knight style of keeping it
trying to keep the feel authentic i don't mind if you do that you know you can you can you can
go down that viable path as well um yeah so but that's pretty much it for the warhammer stuff
um i bet at least one of those games will be good
man every time i talk about warhammer games i'm sitting here and i'm thinking about like
like fucking donov war three is just bad and that's a bummer because donov war was like the
absolute gold standard for the warhammer games so um can you just from uh what i remember last
time you brought it up uh you said like back for blood is just not at all what left for
dead fans wanted so is this just the complete like this is where the entire fan base moves
i don't i don't quite know how to compare those two which is weird because they're
ostensibly in the same genre whereas vermin tide is kind of its own thing like it's obviously
cribbing off left for dead right but it has its own dedicated setting and it has uh it's very mission
based like you'll pick a mission go do it it has a special thing it has a special setting and all
that and is very well put together and it's a really good execution on a formula but you also
have unique characters that all have different skills like completely play differently they
have completely different moves and equipment uh so you're all mixing matching that and that it's
it works really well whereas uh it felt like left for dead combined smartly with warhammer
um whereas uh back for blood feels like left for dead combined with a bunch of
shooter concepts that i don't like over the past decade like we're going to modernize
left for dead with iron sights and perks and a card system and none of that makes the game
any better at all and also its issue is that its setting is just literally left for dead
but less charm so i was i was gonna say that like for whatever um is not the uh the same
as as left for dead if you're going over to a warhammer game you still get the setting of war
hammer which is way more interesting than whatever you're gonna fucking yeah but also
mechanically like ferventides more fun another good example is deep rock galactic the dwarf game
where it has a it's defending yourself against hordes of bugs but also like literally like
minecraft or red faction digging into an environment to get ore for various contracts and that game
also has a really fantastic setting it has the types of mechanics that you want which is i want
weird interesting weapons i don't want like back for blood has like 20 rifles and it has the rifle
that's single shot it has the rifle that's single shot with a scope it has the rifle that's that's
you know the single clip and but it's semi auto and so on and they're all modern guns and they all
function like a call of duty thing it's like yeah i don't care about that i want the guy that has a
shotgun and a drill i want the guy who has like a a hook shot and like a de facto submachine gun
and maybe he can get a fancy pistol that shoots flares
yeah um
like every every game that does a left for dead formula that followed after left for dead is
better than the one that told you it was the successor to left for dead
including the one by the same team yeah while some of the same team because there's no one at
valve working on back for blood uh so yeah 40k fans are feasting as they always are good for
good for them good for them because those people will spend 385 a hundred dollars on paint six and
a half inch piece of plastic and a single vial of paint so for warhammer has tons of cash to throw
at any project they want do like i shipped my friend uh my um uh my uh uh kingdom death
miniatures and just said here you go i understand it might take literally years just
here you go and let me just let me know how it's going every once in a while you know and i've been
getting updates on those and um it's it's coming it's coming looks cool it's it's interesting
because like i remember talking to uh for who was talking to somebody who was big in a 40k
and warhammer and i'm like you know the warhammer game the tabletop game is actually really cool
and it's a really rad strategy game it would be really great instead of like total warhammer which
is an rts with you know civ stuff in it if they just adapted the tabletop to a video game to which
i was told that will never happen and anyone who tries to make it happen will be disappeared
because all the money comes from those little tiny figures that whole got away yep is built off of
the crazy margins of paint and resin and fucking little plastic figurines or pewter figurines if
you take that away you're fucking you're you're shooting the cash cow uh why would you do that uh
i mean shit didn't so isn't there like a yugioh game that's like recent that like uh is like the
type of thing where now you can release it um in a way that's not gonna compete with yugioh since
yugioh cards are no longer a thing in real life really i don't know what i'm talking about of course
this full disclaimer i have no idea what i'm talking about but the impression i got us was that
yugioh the card game is something you remember from the past it's it's it's not going to be
stepping on any toes to put out a game that that that can you know do the same shit now and and
now you can go play it that way
fucking i'm just looking at like how expensive does it cost to start playing 40k okay two thousand
point army start with a fucking a thousand dollars okay yugioh not yugioh still going strong yugioh
still very popular um yugioh not as popular as went as it was back when we were in high school
so it's not being heard of as much then does that sound more um realistic i actually have uh i don't
know a piece of you i have a piece of yugioh information for you willy okay do you remember
two three weeks ago we covered the smell policy for the yugioh tournaments yes uh on the subreddit
somebody clarified why that rule was going into practice it was going into practice because people
were intentionally not showering and pissing all over themselves got you cause their their
opponents to forfeit got you didn't okay around or touch their opponent tactical move got it cool
it was it was tactical all right big wrong more popular than ever okay my my my bad yeah they
just came out with the yugioh didn't they uh the game or another thing i i i i don't i remember when
when basically the height of the cartoon and then the then then the show uh alongside the the stuff
that all the kids was buying and um maybe my life just separated from hearing about it that much so
i i didn't know that it needed to be very popular my area never got into yugioh was all pokemon
was all pokemon cards hmm i mean i have friends that basically like would detour from magic into
pokemon and yugioh but they kind of held down the magic thing and i still know um people that
are into magic and they don't really talk about yugioh so i guess that's kind of you know anyway
whatever um but yeah i think uh i i imagine i imagine that like if you if you just provide a
tabletop simulator uh officially sanctioned that is to say of of of warhammer you um you might step
on so you can totally play tabletop simulator 40 yeah you can you can just you can put it together
self of course yeah but i don't think it's officially sanctioned
um i mean same thing for kingdom death too actually
okay so hey nobody plays yugioh right like that shit's dead it died it's for dorks now
it's terrible sales like they announced they would stop printing it
uh right that's that's what happened right you you can double down on my behalf that's new
tech actually like you can jump rails onto something that i started and you can just carry
i i i i talked to my uncle my uncle works at the yugioh factory he said they were going to
burn all the cards because all the all the nerds stop playing it you trust me on this
they also announced that they're going to come to your house and take your cards away
how's that anime doing is this the anime is that still going there's an anime
was that like 20 years ago
okay uh what else is going on they announced uh
we're we're just we're moving we're moving we're we're we're there's a new yugioh anime
are you serious what do they do they play cards
is that the one with uh with the with joey and the the accent and the pegasus and he's like oh
this is great i like this you choose you choose to listen to this shit all right
listener you clicked on this and you chose this you clicked the play button before you get upset
at the stratospheric out of touch this you chose to click play
fuck off you you sat there and you said listen i'm gonna sit here and listen to these people
that don't know nothing about yugioh or fate and if i like those things as you as you get upset
stepping into what i know as you get upset just realize that it was your finger that pressed the
play button son of a bitch it's what you get all right all right let's move on what do we got
star wars jedi survivor it's it's uh that's that's cool the next fall in order bit it's just a cg
trailer so not much to sell oh man that character's blowing up i hope they put him in the obiwan
who gives a shit yeah it's um well because they're announcing a bunch of stuff they announced um
mandalorian season three and skeleton crew um jude law and then they announced the announced star
wars andor and i was like oh andor and they're like no no no andor and i was like uh it's like
remember the guy from rogue one that helps jinn urso or like not oh my god his name was andor like
i who the fuck remembered that like like jesus christ so i did i really have to say that um i
thought they misspelled andor for a second i was very confused when i clicked on that people people
who used to be in the star wars back when i was younger and who'd read all those nerd books and
tell me about that blue guy who was like a general and he was really cool like that was one thing
that was a sci-fi fantasy series that kind of went off the rails and had its own thing and that was
fine i guess um the modern star wars shenanigans with everything in the past like 10 years that is
just absolutely obsessed fanaticized about filling in every spare moment you didn't see in between
every motion picture is exhausting and uninteresting well here's i think you're thinking about it in
the wrong way because think about it from the point of view of you just spent billions of
dollars acquiring this franchise and you need to shove as much of it down the movie goers gullets
as possible and you've realized of course that after doing so for six straight years you fucked up
and there was too much right but all the canon and extended canon that you've cancelled leaves
a vacuum to fill out all those old books and things with new things that you are now in control of
and and and get to say what's canon and what's not or whatever so they're filling out all the
old space that they just deleted like let's take obiwan right they're doing an obiwan series that's
going to take place after obiwan loses or beats up the anakin larry before luke before luke meets him
in the a new hope and it's like there is literally nothing you can do in that story
that could possibly be more interesting than obiwan is depressed and just gives up and lives on some
shithole planet but every once in a while nothing but every once in a while he peeks through the
binoculars to see how young luke's doing and then that's and then he doesn't do anything again
that being said though this is without the context of whatever happens in
later clone wars and stuff which again i hear some cool shit which makes those characters
more interesting so full disclosure that there's more to that that uh i haven't seen yet that i've
got to also when you're when you're when you're filling in the gaps on a story like this you have
real real problems with stakes so we're watching mandalorian right in the season finale of mandalorian
season one every single person on the screen is some fucking weirdo you never heard of so okay
anything could happen you're watching the obiwan fucking shit and child leah is running away from
some goons and you're like oh i hope they don't catch her yeah yeah me too i hope they don't catch
and kill princess leah as a child i think the the momentum um they got by going into mandalorian
like season two and then some of the other stuff was like one where at first they were like let's
stay far away let's let's keep distance between us and the the the canon characters you can still
take place within the canon just far over there on that planet you know and then like the the
testing of the waters worked out so now they're more and more willing to go into it it's a relatively
unique problem that i can only think right now if not my head that star wars has in which like
when you do a prequel you're starting from anywhere but it has to end up where it is when
you're doing a sequel you're starting from the last point but you can go anywhere but like
these in-between shits it's like it has to start here and it has to end here and there's like no
wiggle room at all okay but hold on though little kid leah gets caught and then a bunch of reunion
ghosts start flying around oh yeah and then they get in the way and you're like no wait we have to
save her you did it and the reunion ghosts create a big wall and you're like but how he figured out
the secret listen man listen listen listen listen i don't want to ruin you i don't want to ruin your
excellent goof but i would like to point out to you that that has actually already happened
oh stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it stop it get to the end of the highway i think it's in
i think it's in clone wars or rebels there is a sequence in which darth vader confronts
asoka and he's gonna kill her and then they run away and they never see her again and then she's
never seen again i heard about the time they go to the first temple and they look through a
time and they just jump through and grab her and yank her out the portal and go you get to be in
star wars again uh luke is trying to fire the final shot into the into the death star and then the
ghosts just get in the way like oh no like like that happened and then he flies into a white void
and i man what i don't care what anyone tells me and somebody writes out that that was the plan
all along i can't see anything other than i decided to kill this character or put them in a bad
situation and unironically could not figure out a way to get them out of it other than fuck it just
drop them through a magic fucking portal because i decided that i wanted to keep using this character
like absolutely stump this is fucking stupid shout outs to the fan service portal it's
stumping the fan service portal is uh it takes balls it takes balls to go to out road with it
um and i and i and i when i first saw um the clone wars was like again in that first
like movie that was the first cg movie that was not very good and you know all the all
the stuff the improvement comes later but the introduction of isoka as a little kid you know
the the the little um uh whatever apprentice um that's kind of like the annoying kid i i remember
just kind of thinking like are you just introducing this child to anakin as his apprentice so that
he's going to murder the shit out of them when he becomes vader and starts going around like
is it is it just to set up the the horror of that moment yeah he's a bad man and uh and it seems
it was not it's not a good guy um but that's kind of what i thought was like oh you had a character
that followed him around that he was close with and we all know where this ends therefore
that must be pretty fucking nuts right and it's like well maybe not maybe not
anyways um that's what's happening and and the side the side part two is like when you
look at the announcement tweet uh that respawn put out it's just immediately everyone underneath
it is just like hey guys remember titanfall hey look at what's happening to apex servers
hey look at what's happening yeah that's that's never gonna go away you know and then um of course
people being like yo just just get the get the fucking get the fan the fan server going um anyway
woolly do you think the guy in the colto tank in the jedi
thing do you think that could be star killer
depends on how he holds his lightsaber i think i think that might be my favorite part of it is that
the the fandom of star wars is like so creatively bankrupt that the instant they see some random person
they go could that be already existing character instead of oh who's that
yet at the same time like that single piece of like revin helmet that showed up once in the ghost of a
fart somewhere like eight seasons in it was just like wait what you guys right you guys are right it
is gulp shidow you're right her glup shidow is that his name oh one peek at a fucking a slight hint
of a revin helmet and everyone freaks out though we're all back you got me you showed me a revin
helmet and i'ma losing my shit you know oh it's that guy glup shit is when revin actually
unironically showed up and spoke to people in a star wars game again it was just like
oh the old republic stuff yeah yeah yeah yeah like there's a problem here and the problem is
that you're locking revin into what revin looks like what revin acts like what revin likes would
be evil if he's good like right away there's a problem yeah yeah yeah it's the revenue revin is
the mask you know um anyway so there's that and then
well no revin is not the mask that's a reductive statement revin is a lot more but the mask represents
all the choices that your revin could have been is what i actually should elaborate to say um
they announced that uh oh yeah just uh put want to put an indie game on the radar but this shit
looks fucking hard um check out um blocky dungeon here i'll send you a little link to that i've i saw
that actually yeah i i retweeted just the the the imminent future that is basically me spending
forever on steam playing this game it is tetris but when you drop the block it becomes a part of a
dungeon and then you have a little adventurer who is moving through the dungeon and clearing the
monsters to clear the lines as you play tetris and the walls of the blocks create rooms for the
little uh night to progress upwards and it seems as if there's a score point and then perhaps like
an exit that'll be you know on the map towards the top or something like that i'm not i'm not 100
percent certain but it looks fucking cool and it's tetris with a super cool idea yeah tetris
with a little a little adventure happening in in in the middle of the blocks and i'm super interested
in where this goes um love me some tetris love tetris remix ideas tons of fun
um so yeah just uh i i retweeted that just another one of these like okay don't know when
it's coming out but throw it on the wish list and we'll see it when we see it yeah straight up listed
as when it's ready um and then this one's kind of this is funny because we've often uh seen stories
and talked about how the reason why copyright law in america exists the way it does uh especially for
things that are over 100 years old is because disney uh single-handedly is forcing and holding it back
by adjusting and updating the law to always specially allow them to continue to own mickey
mouse and all of the disney characters there's lifetime offers lifetime plus 20 authors lifetime
plus 40 after there's lifetime plus 75 they keep updating it so that things that are 100 years old
which are supposed to enter public domain don't necessarily do so eventually it got to a point
where it was also authors lifetime plus the time and um and they they can still maintain their
depictions of uh characters that have originated elsewhere but when you don't get full control
of the situation you get winnie the pooh blood and honey which is a horror themed winnie the pooh
slasher film coming out um and it was announced what was it what's currently uh june it the the
original winnie the pooh stories lapsed into public domain five months ago
and immediately let's fucking hop on this shit immediately they showed off that winnie the pooh
blood and honey the horror movie is coming which will involve winnie um and piglet uh going on a
rampage and it's all creepy five nights at freddy's mask shit going on and yeah like they they wasted
no time getting it on that a single time wasted um seems like they're they've also announced
alongside the screenshots that like they're hyper aware of the legal uh uh uh tightrope
they're walking oh and they've got their lawyers at the ready and essentially they're gonna be um
making sure that this only resembles the 1926 version of it uh and nothing from uh the copyright
that disney can claim they created with their version of winnie the pooh so they're they're
treading the fine line but uh they yeah they know exactly what they're doing here um and i think i
mean there's other things like this too like we've talked about how uh uh james bond is public domain
in canada yeah right so there's weird ones that are like specific to that only that only currently
works if you distribute it only in canada yes of course of course which is where it's really goofy
so you can totally write public domain james bond fan fiction officially make your own james bond
movies as long as you only release it in canada yeah if you've got the budget you can literally
shoot your own fucking 007 franchise up here and just keep and just keep it here yeah um
um yeah so more on winnie the pooh blood and honey as as it comes but like basically don't
don't put a fucking red shirt on him and you're probably good uh is he wearing a red shirt
let me see piglet just looks like an evil fucking pig um winnie can't really tell he's too much in
the dark but he's got this he's got the ears he's got the ears and the creepy the creepy eyes so
it's a plaid shirt it's a red plaid shirt as long as it's not a pure red shirt you're probably good
see now if you really want to commit to the bit though plaid shirt and nothing else going down
oh yeah that's that's the accurate horror uh so
looking forward to that you wear pants you're probably good
let's take some letters hey if you want to send in a letter explaining to woolly how popular
Yu-Gi-Oh is you can send it to castle super beast mail at gmail.com that's castle super
beast mail at gmail.com you can even put a funny joke in there like that he has activated your trap
card good one you did it
let's see
well you've activated the the the fucking you brought up the smell the smells again and then
that's gonna they're not gonna like that so you know
uh let's see if they here we go we got one coming in from uh zuzu says dear patent wools
i've been getting into pinball recently i've known for a while that modern pinball machines can
connect to the internet and download software updates for bug fixes scoring updates and stuff
even entire new modes can be added with these updates but it wasn't until recently that i found
out that some machines are treating these like early access games for some machines in the last
year there are features and modes that are listed on um on the graphics and the physical machine
that have not been coded into the software yet it's cool to see that these machines can get
large updates but it's also concerning that's something that's an eight thousand dollar plus
machine can be sold in a state where some people would call it unfinished what are some other
industry trends you could you could see or wouldn't want to see reaching their way into
other more niche industries wow that sucks by the way that does suck because the ultimate pinball
machine like like would be something that was a simple template that could rise blocks and obstacles
up according to like a downloaded map you know what i mean imagine a imagine a like the ball and
and the and the physics of the the the flippers are are real and the same but the actual obstacles
are based on like a pixel grid that could uniquely create different obstacles according to whatever
the fuck you download that'd be super cool right um but by adding uh this whole thing to to some to
sell features that don't literally exist in the game yet that shit sucks that's a lot of money
to spend on something that you're not actually getting a full featured game for um and it reminds
me aggressively actually of what the thing you're complaining about there's a whole subject of this
called the internet of things and um what i don't know if you're familiar with it but it's like the
concept of the internet of things is adding internet connectivity to objects and machines
that don't fucking need it right um and it's it's uh you know been going on for a while now and like
you can actually go to there's a twitter account called internet of shit and it archives examples
of internet of things uh falling apart where you literally have like one of the infamous ones is
a stove that requires you to connect and create an account on their website before you can use
the fucking thing you have to log into your stove for it to actually uh uh use its its features um
and it's a ge appliance i remember that was a big one that went around uh not too long ago um
and that's a pile of shit right there yeah there's literally a screenshot of like the smart oven
requires a wi-fi connection for the best experience connect to unlock the latest features and receive
important software update fucking you're an oven asshole um and the heat on a few oven eat they'll
eat hot the food and this it's a great account uh i i i read definitely recommended internet of shit
they also show you uh this toilet installation is connected to microsoft azure iot central
right
like literally you know a fucking uh uh data privacy potential breach on your toilet
and uh what was the oh yeah there's one there's like a mirror in a bathroom that says oops looks
like your mirror is not connected to a network and then it's showing you the phone to fucking log in
uh horrifying garbage shitty usage of the future what is a what is a fucking mirror even do
i don't just it's like it's it's all these features of like here there's this cool tech we can give
you in a in a basic appliance but now you have to mandatory uh create your account send us your
data all that shit so i don't think anything tops the integration of things that doesn't need to be
there like the wi-fi integration of pacemakers yep well that was i that that's number one
like my dad has a pacemaker in which uh his doctor can scan a thing over it
locally so they don't have to open him up but it doesn't connect to the internet it connects to
whatever device like it's basically like you know i don't know like for those bb things
but there are wi-fi pacemakers out there that were put out on the idea that your doctor could
monitor your heart health in real time only to have some of them be hacked well so this is where
there's no way to bring that story up without immediately thinking of the story of the guy
who was going to uh basically do a warning symposium on how you can hack and essentially
death note somebody via their pacemaker with wi-fi connectivity and then he died before he
could actually give that speech um oopsie doodle he had a little oopsie he had a little oopsie
getting into that that that that that sketchy territory out there but like yeah apparently
hackable pacemakers uh is a problem and instead of fixing the problem um let's
fix the problem we fixed it another infamous example of course is the juicero which i didn't
know about uh until i way too late actually but apparently a couple years ago there was a juice
press that uh raised like millions of dollars from investors and was just this red it's just a juicer
but it was just a a a a fucking wi-fi connected bullshit silicon valley jerk off machine um right
that let like promised all these features when it's just like motherfucker just juiced just juiced
the fucking fruit it ain't it's real simple um mash it and uh uh yeah it's it just squeezed a bag it
wasn't a juicer right yeah there you go a company which offered free sold packets of diced fruits
and vegetables and you just plugged into their 400 dollar machines there you go yeah are you
serious it was like a fucking kirk machine but for fruits and vegetables it doesn't even do the
juicing it just squeezes the bag there you go um and then uh yeah i got a juicer for this bag it's
called my fucking fist and there's a bunch of ads and and and and like all this tech shit showing
off the i mean it looks it looks like a high-end apple device when you see it like it it's it's pure
it's the it's the perfect example of just this internet of shit that we're talking about um
and then uh there's one other example too where i remember seeing meat in a in a container
like a steak cut locked behind a qr code scan nice you know that you had that once you bought the
meat with the you had to use the qr code to unlock the container to access it so um i mean it's it's
just it's a whole subject so what you're talking about with the with the with the with the pinball
is just yeah it's the internet of shit thank you hey it's it's it's crazy and it sucks
i think one of the worst things that we could have happen uh taking stupid industry stuff from
video games and bringing it into the quote-unquote real world is if we took like the gacha system
where you open up like a pack of something and some of them were were good and the others were
just trash and applied it to other stuff like i wanted to go to the store and buy like a figurine
and but most of the time it was like a shitty figurine but sometimes it could be the good one
or like maybe with cards um that would be awful if that if that happened what kind of cards
like playing cards like card game cards okay if like if you like opened it up and like
most of the cards in the pack were terrible but there was maybe one good card in there sometimes
hmm that'd be awful well i mean you could always buy them in bulk with your friends and pass the
packs around to ensure that everybody gets something yes decent that'd be a good idea well
hey by the way i'd like to write in an email because there's something i forgot to talk about
i'm gonna write in an email the cast okay mm-hmm hey woolly did you see that diablo immortal holy
fucking shit um oh my god oh my god i could shit that was that's fuck sorry yes that is on the
docket and i i completely uh looked over it because we went right into hard drive uh yeah so um
that's a fun one diablo immortal uh is out and speaking about the the the cards in the
lutes and such it seems that um part of the game's features here uh there's a little twitter thread
where steven titillo was playing uh with uh the multiplayer mode and the reward for completing
a dungeon was the access to purchase a mad king's breech beach trove breech trove excuse me uh which
is a special treasure chest loot box that includes tons of loot and gear and all that stuff which is
a nine hundred and seventy percent bigger value but it's only 99 cents and it's owned there's only
one available and you only have access to purchase it right now this one time one time offer upon
completing the dungeon and beating the mad king and the process of minimizing the game to post
this ridiculous shit on twitter made the offer go away so it is it is not only that completing
things in the game earns you the the the chance to spend more money but you cannot even get another
off you can't get it again it is one time ultimate fomo don't you dare look away if we detect you
looking away from your phone because we can do that now the offer will be rescinded so yeah
people are playing it and the beta was favorite favorably received in that it's a it's apparently a
fun game deep down but then the live version went up and it is the most aggressive predatory
microtransaction laden fucking nonsense in which you are getting like like Diablo is a loot game
you're getting like it's not cosmetic you're getting real ass rewards for your video game it is a
pay-to-win game and on top of that as a bonus i want it before i saw you this i wanted to check
it out this morning because it's ostensibly free to play so i started to download it and it's like
13 gigs oh yeah it's it's fucking stupid stupid stupid gigantic to the point where
all the separate downloads like it separates the downloads into like 10 different compartments
and if you manage to download the whole thing they give you a reward a monetary reward
they give you like 50 of their gold fun bucks yeah i mean okay so so it's a free to play game i
like i didn't even fully register that okay so free to play you get the you get the license to
be even more egregious about your shit um you've earned the right to pay us money is a hilarious
screen and you're only allowed to get this offer once don't think about it press the buy button or
it's gone it is it is the absolute worst thing you could possibly do to the diabolo formula
because the diabolo formula is let's go kill the orc the skeleton king who is the boss listed in
this screenshot is the one of the first bosses in diabolo always he's great he's a big skeleton man
you kill him maybe he'll drop his crown maybe he'll drop the mace maybe he'll drop a unique
maybe he'll drop just a good rare and instead you kill him and it goes hey motherfucker do you
want to buy a loot box and we've laughed at the concept of how this scummy you know the the scummy
loot box world and shit and micro mini buy world has always been very comparable to the used car
salesman but now you've upgraded that tech and you've introduced the used car salesman who
says now listen once i'm going to give you an offer on this baby and if you walk off this lot
i'm taking that offer back this civic the moment you turn around you don't have time to think i'm
going to give you an offer but if you leave right now that's it so you think long and hard about
whether you want to leave so i'd like to point out the path of exile is free and is a really great
game and on top of that i feel like one of the reasons i think that game has its own issues
but it feels like they wanted to get out in front of this because their last big update they made
it so that the cosmetic items you get out of their loot boxes no longer have the chance of dropping
duplicates okay so in in path of exile you used to be able to get duplicates but you would be able
to combine different duplicates together to make a shiny fancy thing okay they have recently updated
their loot boxes in order so that you can't get duplicates so there is an upper limit on your loot
box shenanigans in that game that again is only for cosmetics okay not actual fucking video game
game shits yeah okay so between last week and this week i get the feeling that diablo immortal
is fighting to work its way into the the crosshairs for you know there's a seat you can sit in
i'm uh that it becomes a you're you're going to be a weekly topic of discussion i don't know about
that but i mean they started off strong this week one it's a fucking predatory pile of shit
and two it did not release in belgium or the netherlands because it goes directly against
recently enacted gambling laws in those territories
yeah i imagine australia probably too then right they have they'll see the strict
current currently it is banned in the netherlands and belgium okay we will wait and see just how
much new legislation is made in places as a direct result of this game it's really weird
because legislation's starting to happen in places and the solution seems to have been for immortal
to hit it as hard as you can hit it before the hammer comes down in the places where you're
allowed to see because i feel like in the in some cases right the option is you you're you have to
for example you have to show the percentages right i think like uh china rolled that out
china mandates that right you have to show the percentages and i'm kind of wondering if like
are we gonna hit a point where like given the opportunity to just just to display the truth
of the percentages or not they're just gonna go fuck it we're just not releasing in that
territory we'd rather just hide it from you you know oh they that there are mobile games that
have done that in which they release a different version of the game in china there you go just
different enough there you go yeah percentages in china are only for china there you go uh yeah
anyway um like i said like anthem was in that seat for a while and fallout 76 was in that
seat for a while and uh we'll we'll see we'll see how how immortal shapes up but um it's good
it's good that's fun it's fun to hear about um yeah you know it gets overused but i i legitimately
you can't look at the way diablo immortal monetizes and call it anything but predatory
like and that's and you get leeway for being free to play i give i when you're when your whole thing
is we have to we're releasing it free to play and then we're gonna put uh we're gonna make our money
elsewhere i'm gonna give you a little bit of bandwidth for how you approach that you know
um a smidgen mm-hmm uh yeah anyway uh let's take one over here from uh
zulgum says uh dear commander red and staff officer black of the red ribbon army i am currently
playing warframe and it's still pretty new it's really new to the mechanics and stuff
and one time the other night i noticed that on the neck of my warframe character there's
suddenly a weird pink and black gross looking thing i looked it up and it turns out that i have a
cyst that's related to uh the infested which is basically like the flood and apparently it passes
from player to player so i had two options i could get it removed immediately with no penalty
though it never grows again in the same frame or i could let it grow and after a week or two
use it to craft a powerful kind of companion creature i removed it immediately without a
second thought because fucking gross get that space god aria shit off of me
what are some times when you gave up on something that could be potentially cool
or gameplay rewarding because of the visceral physical repulsion of how it looks sounds etc
that's pretty funny um i can think of i can think of actually recently um the some of the best
immunity so far in elden ring is the mushroom armor holy fuck get that shit away from me and
put it in the box it's gross i hate it reggie really fucking like freaked out too like we're
just like oh god this is horrible i absolutely i am not interested in that i don't care what
the immunity is in the box you go
never okay well there you go
um that my my thing is the the one thing that'll kill it for me is uh if something feels bad
so something is the best thing but i don't enjoy its feel it doesn't matter
so like like hey here's a strength weapon in dark souls that's the strongest strength
weapon by 40 percent it's the oh it's totally the best yeah i don't really like the way it swings
i don't like the animation that much oh yeah that's kind of the same thing in the reverse
right where it's like this is really good but yeah okay i mean i did i remember i picked up
a sword that i was told is like oh yo this is a really amazing inch sword
it was a lazuli glint stone sword where it shoots a little shoots a little and it's like yes
this stats are they reward you and the scaling is good and cool and then i swung it around i'm
like it's just a straight sword moveset i'm i'm already yawning it sure is i'm i'm good i'm
good i'm gonna go another way on it you know um but that's me uh yeah fuck fuck that that that
weird shit though okay um yeah i think we're good okay we did it good podcast willy and happy
birthday sleepy boy over there happy birthday geef i'll talk about he's a man now no longer a puppy
officially is that the scaling to h2 yeah because they because a lot of dogs will start to keep growing
into like 20 months so two is like adult so there's no more size change no he's done well if we if we
massively overfed him he would get larger sideways yeah but no but like in terms of a like he's not
gonna get he's not gonna get taller or longer or more in a pokemon evolutionary sense that's
that's the biggest his bone structure is going to be he's about uh he's about 75 pounds now
and so that's that's his max size unless he get real fat okay well there you go enjoy him enjoy
manhood thank you right on he's got no balls so he's he's not gonna enjoy that i well i mean like
that's the you think that would make him stop masturbating so much but hey i don't know take
him out to a fucking doggie strip club no i don't know he just no no without his balls all he wants
his food what are you gonna give him fancy yeah gave him cheese and apple and a sausage so he's
having he that's why he's dead over there he's asleep lovely all right have a good week everybody
you