Castle Super Beast - CSB 197: Nooo You Don't Understand, My Wi-Fi Is The Good Wi-Fi
Episode Date: December 13, 2022Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps Woolie Watched The Thing (1982) Witcher 3 HD Quality of Geralt Updates Patrick "Wifi-Warrior" Boivin SAN.D IS REAL (Death Stranding 2) New P...latinum Needs Writers (Cereza & The Lost Demon) You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://bombas.com/superbeast to get 20% off your first purchase. -- Go to http://hellofresh.com/superbeast18 and use code superbeast18 for 18 free meals plus free shipping! -- Go to http://joinhoney.com/superbeast to get PayPal Honey for free. Final Fantasy 16's Newest Trailer Reveals a June 2023 Release Date Ken Levine's Next Game, Judas, Finally Revealed Hideo Kojima Rewrote Death Stranding 2 After the COVID-19 Pandemic Idris Elba Joins Cyberpunk 2077: Phantom Liberty, New Gameplay Trailer Revealed New Star Wars: Jedi Survivor Trailer Confirms March Release Diablo 4 Arrives in June 2023 Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League Will Include Kevin Conroy, New Release Date Revealed The First Super Mario Bros. Movie Clip Reveals Mario's Introduction to Pipe Travel Horizon Forbidden West: Burning Shores DLC Announced Exclusively for PS5, Arrives in April Crash Team Rumble is a New 4v4 Multiplayer Game Coming in 2023 Warhammer 40,000: Space Marine 2 Gameplay Revealed Hellboy Is Getting a Stylish Video Game Adaptation Crime Boss: Rockay City Announced With Cast Including Chuck Norris, Danny Trejo, and Vanilla Ice The Lords of the Fallen: First Gameplay Revealed for Soulslike Reboot The Last of Us Part 1 PC Release Date Set for March Returnal Announced for PC Baldur's Gate 3 Release Window Announced Forspoken Demo Now Available on PlayStation Network Transformers: Reactivate is an Online Action Game Developed by Splash Damage Banishers: Ghosts of New Eden Announced Single-Player Magic First-Person Shooter Immortals of Aveum Revealed Gearbox Announces Remnant 2 for 2023 Blue Protocol Will Be Released in North America Courtesy of Amazon Games Surreal Platformer, After Us, Announced at The Game Awards Dead Cells: Return to Castlevania DLC Arriving Next Year Valiant Hearts: Coming Home Is Headed to Mobile Devices Soon Colossal Cave - Official Release Date Reveal Trailer Wild Hearts Gameplay Trailer Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 Raids Season 1 Reloaded Trailer Fire Emblem Engage DLC Trailer Dune: Awakening In-Engine Trailer Destiny 2 Lightfall Gameplay Trailer Among Us: Hide n' Seek Trailer Horizon: Call of the Mountain Gameplay Trailer The cancelled Michael Keaton Batman film was going to be ‘BATMAN BEYOND’. Yes, the ""Sex Update"" is finally here: UKButt is an official mod that adds http://buttplug.io support.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
merge
not
about
that
that
that
big fat news week
what was a much better news week
going to be a fat news week
uh...
gonna have to handle this with some responsibility as there are no fewer
than forty six things to talk about
but uh...
responsibility i'm sure we can put heavy weight on the things we care about
unless weight on the things we don't
there's going to be at least four
that you bring up and you're gonna be like this and i'll be like i don't
remember that
and you're gonna go i don't remember that either
okay on
all right uh... early candidate titles for
the episode reformed orthodox rabbi bill clinton a little too on the nose i'm
not doing that a little too on the nose uh... we gotta get a little more
clever than that
uh... there's no
there's no way to that right off the bat so
uh... let's dig and see what i said the thing yeah exactly that's what i'm
saying right
puts a good i got a good work but some work you gotta get you gotta get a
reach for it you know
uh...
so
uh... yeah there's uh... i mean at the end of the day like as far as a
a list of trailers to watch goes there certainly work quite a few of them
when it comes to the vgs but uh... that's gonna be the majority of what we
talk about so before we get to that
uh...
we should talk about the things
that are not that
i'm gonna i'm gonna just dive right into it hey i beat god of war
uh... here's my thoughts on god of war what excellence
nine out of ten
the triple a sony money prestige action game
sped eight hours too long
after the law you should you get the they get the cool thing
and then once the cool thing begins
uh... how's the ride off to the credits
great okay
uh... they should cut
eight hours from the first half of the game which is something i very very
rarely say
uh... they should cut
every section that has a trace except for like the
the first one or maybe the second one
and they need to cut like
like half of a planet out of somewhere if
so it's supposed to be two games okay
yeah and you can feel
that it is two games
because there's a part where they go here's a whole tests prototype
zone
feels like a deal c campaign
that just gets jammed into the side of the game
uh... they needed to get tarantino's editor
lady to to take to do what she does
uh... i believe her job is to come in and like
almost come to blows with him on every movie
and
like
at the end of it as violent and crazy as it might get like
they're like okay good job thank you i needed exactly that
and he's gonna cry and shit and piss
about things getting cut and she's like i don't give a fuck we're cutting it
and then they get to a final state that's like damn that's pretty good
so here's the really good example of why the game needs to have a little bit of
it one needs i mean it's not gonna right but it probably should have
uh... near the end of the game you unlock a completely
uh... a completely uh... optional area that feels like a full dlc campaign
is like a ten hour zone
and you don't have to go there and you don't have to do anything you can just
not walk into it and just beat the game completely fine
it's the best part of the entire game
and it is unlocked at the 95th percentile where you are
just about to give up on doing side shit entirely
okay
like that needed to it's it's super good
it's super super good and just you get there when you're just like
okay let's go get these apples
um yeah but uh someone that's not what
percentile means i don't care
regardless yeah good game high quality excellent
video game god of war it it's good value for the money
kratos is sad in it yeah he's good sad the christ judge does a good job as we
will see later when he wins the thing
um uh we see a lot that tray sections drag lots to see there
um the uh someone asked a question that was like hey if you had to
if a game had to have a bad section would you rather be the beginning middle
or end and for me i'm like definitely the
beginning for me i say the middle because like the
introduction the onboarding can if i have to pick
right the onboarding process being ruined is
like i'll just not care right that's so tough dude
i'll just not care if the beginning sucks i'll about anything
and if the ending sucks as we know it's like you feel like you wasted your time
right so the middle is also like the it hurts
it's a punch to the stomach because you're slogging but like
the idea of the other two makes it like almost like a
waist in a way whereas the middle is just like i have
i have trouble with that because the middle to me is if the middle is bad
that's the run killer that's i was real fade off and then
then it became terrible and now i just leave it and now i have like a half
completed thing and then you get the the worst version of all these
is oh yeah i dropped it man that i was in that
ice level it was awful and then somebody tells oh right after that
the best level in the game is right after it for sure gotta go back
no these are all losing these are all losing scenarios
it's just i'm thinking about personally
i can fight through a hump and then like
hit the the better side running again you know if things slow down and get
awful um when a tail end is really bad like the
closer we get and the more that fucking again the it gets pulled away from you
and you stop caring i start to resent the characters
right so in the beginning if i don't get introduced to them in a way
where it's where it's working and if everything sucks
i'm gonna hate i just i just won't care about them at all to even bother playing
and if the ending makes me start to hate them that also makes it not worth it
you know the middle sucking can avoid those two things for me
though it's still a business um yeah yeah yeah so i got i got a real
interesting experience because i was streaming and then i just had
people coming in be like dude woolly's in the desert part right now and he's
gonna shit dude oh man so i ultimately that was the part i
told you about last week yeah ultimately i was still
playing and enjoying a bayonetta game just kind of like laughing at some of
the the sillier things that were happening
but the desert actually becomes a bad level and then you do a really awful
level where you're controlling where you're doing
viola on her like quest for water and i'm like okay so we're doing just full-on
slapstick uh uh bash the stampede level hijinks of
you know like like our insert other character that's
like crying for water you know and it's like
one um like you got one character that's like
mastering the ability to rip her heart out and and
power up her demons to full strength and also summon a boat in the first
10 minutes of the game um like make a yacht no not a yacht a giant
sea cruiser disappear and reappear and the other character is like
dying to the elements where um some some quicksand and some
some uh fucking water oasis bullshit's going on and i'm like what is
happening why are we wasting so much time
and viola is being built up like like prior or like oh cool sword girl she's
punk but she's like treated like a joke character yeah yeah
and and like while you're doing this really annoying
set sort of section uh which doesn't get much better once bao gets involved
because again the quicksand sucks it's big it's wide it's open
and to get to all the secrets on the side you have to fucking waste your time
and it's just really blandly designed um you are
hearing the howl of the cool boss fight that you're true that you want
in the distance you know and i'm like ever since you even before that when
you're in the overworld area where it's all conjoining
um you're hearing the howl and you're like oh man okay
let's go Jean too let's go uh uh lumen sage too you know like we're getting
there and it's like they put this fucking awful dry ass horrible area in
front of you and then inside of that while you're
anticipating a cool fight to come hopefully any time now
you do the bad viola water you do the next level with with uh
bao and it's also really bad and then you do um
what inside of it it was the point where i got to the um
the muspelheim where you have to do um uh god which it was too there's two
terrible ones i forget which was which but there is like one where you're on
these platforms and you have to kill the flying things and this is really
like that's viola yeah yeah there's the viola one for that worst one
yeah that's the worst one in the whole game and then and then there was uh um
using her witch time to kill things and it's like that is the second worst one
these are not these these challenges are like
based on the fact that her kit sucks it's not based on the fact that it's like
oh this is hard to do but what you want from um a secret mission
or from an alfheim or muspelheim is for you to have
like a challenge but the thing is is like hey the thing with enemy step is
it's an actual thing you can do to a lot of enemies at any time
if you're really skilled and it's a challenge but like
the challenge is based on you having the ability to do something extra that's
cool right in this restrictive witch time kind of
challenge way with hers being so bad it just becomes like
a way worse way less fun version of the baos versions of those missions
and you're doing it in you're doing the worst like like side mission
inside of the worst main mission inside of an area that you're like i don't give
a fuck about this entire thing what is happening so i just had a mental
disconnect where i'm running through that area like
i'm supposed to be through the fucking roof i'm playing bayonetta 3 right now
what is happening you know where's the spectacle like like
bayonetta is a spectacle yeah it's got big bombastic moments and big
bombastic gameplay and i felt like the desert's the worst one by far
like the game has problems overall the desert is like by far the worst
unfortunately has the best designs in the whole game
well that's the thing is and i was like okay well fortunately you've got the
fucking amazing ass Jean and bao from that area
and then you've got the frog which has a really cool
mechanic you've got you know ball his or has a the rain stuff is fun
and then you get malphys back and that's sick too
and uh like i'm like okay like that leads to a
here's two demons and two weapons we're sorry
you know what i mean as you get out of there it's kind of like
what happened i know you have to do in a lot of video games the water area the
dry area the fire area but this one you're starting to see why i
said it's like you're playing a sonic game sure
sure you know like it feels like you're going through like the desert so
that's every video that dude that's every video game though that's that's
i know but like it's it's aggressively non-continuitous
like the tour the tour of the fucking you know the the elements
is just the most basic video game concept ever and and you know what to
expect with each one and like you know okay yeah lava's going to
present an issue and it didn't the past and water
creates a thing where you've got to use you know snake serpent within and stuff
and there's all these things but just the sad part of it is just like
my god man again like shitty floor like stuff that you know i guess i'm
becoming infamous for like complaining about it but like i really i really
don't like when the fun cage gets dropped on a video game
you know and i'm gonna say it every time because boy that that drained
the shit out of our excitement um reggie was trying his best to like like
be a professional and like hey oh look oh there's stuff over
and it was like dude it's okay it's okay i i i hear you you don't have to it's
this can suck and we can allow it to suck and at one point i felt like
um as we were getting closer to talking about like
oh what's happening with like uh luca and what's happening with the plot and
stuff like i started getting into how like
i felt luca was like you know kind of like you he's you get to you grow to
accept him and kind of hand wave it he's a good but he's just like the goofy
annoying slapstick on the side you know what i mean he's like he's not great
and then it's like meanwhile like characters like niko are awesome and all
that but like it goes into this thing where as
the world level is getting worse i'm just like ranting about like luca and
i'm like wait no this is not true like he's not
as bad as this rant is going for i just have nothing to talk about right now
right you know at the end of the day this is just like i'm like oh there's
nothing happening um so if if i had to take like one
complaint about bayo 3 it would not even be the story
like that's not the biggest thing it's like they have doubled down
on everything i ever had a problem with with the pacing of bayo one and two
like they can't just give you like a normal level
i was like a normal boss well they're no loud i'm looking forward to going back
to like a japan you know what i mean like i'm kind of like well you know
that was fine in the end i didn't think about any of that it was just like oh
cool familiar setting and then let's try the challenge new things showing up
like yeah that's all i'm that's all i'm really looking for is like i'm expecting
to be running through destroyed you know um um
cities and locations that are being affected by the plot the the the singularity
or whatever and you know um just like keep it tight
man um it felt like the desert was filler is the thing
it felt like i was watching anime filler
and you were spending time on thirsty viola because you had to time to kill
but i'm like there's no fucking hanshin tiger's baseball match that's gonna
delay this week's episode so that we have to fucking stuff
extra into next week there's no reason for recaps we can fucking go it's a
video game you know so you get your you know and i'm and i'm
you get fewer viola missions right and way fewer and way way fewer and already
like we're looking at this big one that's a filler
it's a waste and you're like with what little time we spend with her you're
wasting it on fucking on this desert you know so weird
in the section to come like the next viola level which is like fine i think i
can't remember it very well um but there starts to be an issue
where you get about i don't know three quarters through the game and bao has
like 95 different weapons and 22 demons and 800
moves each and viola has her base kit that she
starts with and that's god still yeah and like in that mission you
unlock her like her her fucking dt essentially yeah her dt isn't
it isn't a mode change into something cool it's a button
yeah so that's the thing is i saw it and i was like oh
here's the switch right here's the moment and
you know well okay let's see how this goes because
what you go for with obviously with nero is like
you have um he's a he had a simplified kit it got complex with the busters and
breakers and then now we get into a and now it's
too complex for you to handle good luck steering this fucking thing it's
moving too fast for you right and i'm like fantastic right it opens
though the the sky up um with hers i saw it and i was like okay
let's see what gameplay implications come from this and
it was cool to watch but ultimately i was like oh it is a
press button for screen clear right um and a jump that i didn't like as much
as the other jump i her getting the the the the extra is is helpful for for
you know clearance and and precision so i don't mind that i ended up switching
between the two but i prefer the feel of the of the swing
but uh oh can you switch off that in the you can you can
totally go into her skill okay turn it on her nice okay
so you know you kind of um you get that bit uh but
what i also kind of i'm thinking of is how like of
you know the the the three characters and in five
um v is the one whose kit kind of evolves the least
understandably because his role is kind of like the extra of the two
you know nero and ontair much more fleshed out crazy kits that then
go further his is meant to be like it's his is he is like let's
let's see how we can control ponds and dragon stogma too using the system sure
and uh as a result you know they don't they don't go as robust with it as
they probably could have but it may but it like given the nature of like
what role he's playing i guess that makes sense um
they still with viola i'm guess i'm i'm just looking at it like
even by comparison there you still gain a bunch of moves over time
with v in that like third fiddle context that that like
make his by the end the coordination you're you're setting up with
um um uh uh shadow and and uh um uh you know the
nightmare and shit is like it's there's there's still like
it's asking more of you by the final v missions
than the early v missions did right the when you get that full kit unlocked
and uh viola it doesn't feel like i'm it's it's asking much more of you and
it doesn't feel like there's a ton more to do
except i guess perhaps mastering the um unarmed skill
you know i feel like viola's design problems can be summed up really well
in that um so she tosses the sword out and cheshire is really strong
like cheshire out is really really strong but you lose access to every
defensive ability you have with shit so you end up equipping moon of man
moon of malacala on her so she has the ability to parry
uh while her her sword is out and it creates the situation of like i'm
playing a bayonetta game and i'm equipping accessories in order to
cover my character's glaring weakness yes yes that's
fucking weird yeah it's not something i should be having to think about
and in the challenge where you had to get the which time kills like
malacala parries where i was it was like harder to get
the just frame version that activates which time so
even if you do like an option select of like tapping forward plus r for
increased um uh buffer time you have a large window of parry but then
one of those frames is just the only one that matters for the which time so it
just makes it harder to do um i think no fighting no other enemy
encapsulates her problems more than the snail
because that's enemy sucks and the frequency at which it's
um doing the frost caught the frequency of its actions it has some cool normal
attacks that you're like okay this is good i like a
enemy that's like aggressive like that but like the freezes into the rolls into
the shit where you have to call out cheshire who's gonna hopefully ai do a
thing to get it broken um is is just kind of like you can
see how limited her kit fucking feels when you're like okay so uh if i do the
equivalent of prop shredder which is one of her best moves
then as soon as this thing stops caring and then goes into its next role
i've got no defense you know and it kind of feels like there could have been a
balance where you went okay let's say you've got a good
like parry block that's that's doing its job and you get the which time that's a
real which time from using that uh right and you we like we said earlier you
improve her by just fuck that entire dodge thing but when you disarm the sword
maybe then you get a dodge and and it maybe it's not as good as bad dodge
but it's not as good as bao's dodge right but then it but at least it's an
active way to get out of trouble so you can choose between the two
and you are like and you're gonna play a little more defensively because that's
what becomes of your dodge button you know as long as your sword is out and
then you have it on the same button and that is the defensive button you've
been practicing with and using for the entire series and you just alternate
between those two for what 14 years we've been hitting you know right trigger
to defend ourselves that would have been such a fucking
like great way to fix that issue and then you know
create something that that doesn't constantly just be like oh my god what
am i trying to do here you know um i think um there's a problem you haven't
encountered yet but you will shortly where strider
like it goes back and forth between the two for boss fights
right like bao fight vealified sure right and like the time you get to the
last fight with him as viola like the last time you fought him with bao
you were using like a million different things and you were just
which time and around and bringing the the demon out and doing a cool move and
then just what and whatever you want right and then you fight him again as
viola and you're like cool here's the second
exact same fight i did the last time because i didn't get anything new and
the character hasn't actually improved in any way and it's just the same fucking
fight yeah no um i mean i'm just thinking of like
what you could do to like but like like there's those defensive
reworks but like give it if you're not going to give her another weapon
if you're not going to give her the ability to have something besides
cheshire like maybe give the ability to like
input certain cheshire commands at certain points you know what i mean
like it's weird because she has way less of a
moveset than bao but also doesn't get to control
her her her stand out odd maybe if you did things like that you know if you
gave cheshire bao gets everything and viola gets
nothing less weapons and less demon control as opposed to exactly you could
and uh not a good um uh super mode either
um yeah so anyway we'll see where it continues to go but
that that desert at the very least was a slump and you know
each time i sit down pop that shit on all right let's uh
let's reset let's reassess let's give it another go
and hope for the best and i continued to hope for the best let me ask you
how do how successful do you feel is the what i'm going to call the desperate
attempt to make luca vibe like important to the story somehow
by by turning him into the best boss fight in the game
for seemingly no reason so that's where that's why i i i kind of like um
that's why i was like part what set off me going on
getting annoyed about him was the part where it's like
the he's a bit part he plays the role of the again the the ball to get squashed
and he's annoying and he's none of his jokes land none of his humor really
works it's just slapstick ship it you're like oh god fine whatever
you know kick him in the ass sure but then trying to make it significant in
some way is like oh god oh no you're committing to this
in a way that makes me think that you thought we were enjoying this the whole
time you know you guys loved all those luca
bits you were all like yeah and you're and it's so wild because
it's like i mean you know we again you kind of
look at enzo in a similar light we're just like okay the putz is going to be
here he's going to do the stuff and you know you get that like in the earlier
moment we described her just like oh my god that's such a horrible thing to do
for him but sure but like if you are going to start including
like plot significance and such to a supporting character
um i mean like am i crazy for thinking that
rodin is just the person that we actively love and think is awesome and
would be super down no to to no to see more of no right so he's gonna go hang
out at the bar and he'll do nothing so if you're if you're gonna do this right
you're gonna take the camera off and start focusing elsewhere on the
supporting cast for a bit like the guy who shows up for two
seconds to grab loki in two and then gets out of the way or and is just again
like he's just a slapstick side character whatever okay if you had him
infiltrating the doing this the genre stuff and you had genre as like a
character that you know if she didn't want if you don't want her to be just a
clone of bao but like worse then make her kit change make her you know do
things to her i think people would probably not be too like the the amount
that bao changes between the games and seeing how much she changes here i
don't think people would be too upset with genre getting all their drastic
changes as well for her to be a different character entirely
you wouldn't even need to do that you could there's so many weapons in the
game just give like three of them to give her the
different weapons yeah yeah just yeah there's
dude the fucking frog weapon comes from jen yeah yeah yeah yeah right so just
give it to her sure and have her swap out in the levels and then when you get
to the end of the game go hey bao and jen she's got to swap up exactly she's
got different demon contracts and and that's gonna be that you know
or even like you know how like mega man and zero can like fight the same boss
but get two skills from it you know that are completely separate whatever just
have fun with that exactly right but you do that
um and and like if you're going to like incorporate into gameplay like yes
some sort of thing it's like fucking rodin is just
awesome and like we barely get enough of him
and we're so down for more but instead we're going to fight luke who
no like nobody's like no one wants to take him seriously
why would you put that on the clown you know despite the fate of the entire
multiverse being at stake rodin is is is content to just
hang out in the bar and do nothing for the entire game
so that just this is weird you know um i put them they were all all of her her
all of bayonetta's beta orbiters
are often hurts just relegated to hanging around and just
you know sitting while she does shit and that's
that's their job but in this case you pick one to fucking emphasize
and it's the worst possible choice you could have made in terms of which one
anyway um again i i continue to uh to just uh we'll see where it goes man
we'll see where it goes you know um other things though
in fact other thing
hmm this weekend i watched john carpenter's the thing
you never watched the thing no i thought i thought for sure we discussed
we discussed it and when we did i said oh shit i yeah i haven't seen that yet
yeah that's uh that's a great god damn movie
it's more than a great god damn movie it's a fucking masterpiece dude
it is a masterpiece i am like late to the fucking party
guess what about 30 years that movie is near perfect it's kind of crazy
and yeah it's so like um just tight and and um
and it like i didn't know that it was i found that after the fact i mean i
this was one of the times this is one of the only times i can think of
where as i'm watching it i want to start the making of at the same time
i immediately want to see the making of because still some of the best practical
effects ever actually the best practical effects i've ever seen
like actually right that just there's i i'm not even going to pretend i've
seen anything holding a candle to some of that um holding up and not just
holding up but like properly being gross um and it
makes perfect sense that i'm like hold on a second
some of this shit some of these melted horrifying bodies and corpses
and and and just deformities i'm like motherfucker
uh robo cop of course you're the same guy right with the melting
dude right you know yeah just like of course you know so it's like okay yeah
this this makes perfect sense um it was a remake of an older
like 50s movie apparently way older yeah okay black and white and uh that
makes sense because the whole who done it nature of like
you know a bunch of i can see a bunch of dudes in in
fucking dick tracy outfits eye each other going who's the thing
you know so i can i can kind of i can see how that that gets adapted here
but what's kind of funny is every time you go back to an
an old classic and you get you get the the times when you go back to an old
movie and you you're like oh shit this is an all-star cast
but it's in reverse because this is probably where
they were starting and then they became
bigger beyond this you know so no uh wilfred bremley
kurt russell and uh keith david Keith david we're all like
established actors at the time to my knowledge especially kurt okay
yeah kurt for sure because i know they also went on to do the
um la and ny escape but it is kind of strange to see like
really young keith david yeah i didn't know the cast at all
stash wilfred bremley so like i was watching him as like in the group and
you know and shit and then he starts talking and i went
oh like i had that like oh fuck it's you
you know that was uh that was incredible um
it uh yeah it it it takes its time it does what it needs to do
it also is interesting in that like um you know when you're
you when you're watching like uh uh uh i guess like the more modern things that
you you can detect a formula in you can kind of feel
when it's like all right it's been about 20 minutes looks like the audience
needs to be woken up we need an action scene here
in this case like you'll you'll hit that point where you're like
right around now is when something should start happening again or so and
then it doesn't and it's like no no we're still just trying to
figure out what the fuck happened over there how you do how the swede's doing
not too great oh okay there are no weijans yeah yeah weijans take that
swede's the tensest the tensest shots
of a goddamn dog just standing there ever
there's never been more tension you know perhaps maybe kujo or something but
just i think just a nice little husky just looking around and you're like
ooh what what what that dog do what you up to
and i don't know how familiar you are with huskies but huskies are like
screaming and bundles of psycho energy so like the fact that you have this
husky just standing totally still yes looking at nothing for like 30 seconds
is like oh they don't do that they don't shut the
fuck up ever um yeah no that thing was was great
um the clown shoes fucking sniping from the helicopter in the beginning is
super goofy and like those are the like like like 1982
i mean there's a lot of things they're doing they're crushing it on practical
effects gunshot foley is still just like
you know insert like a wrong gun insert like
whatever into wave and it's the same gun for you know it's like that's our
that's old um and then of course i had to ask
the question you know so uh was there did they
did they do it did they do the remake and it's like of course they did the cg
remake in 2011 but it wasn't a remake
it's very it's a very weird movie oh i thought it was a
it was a remake of it so okay before we go on i just want to say
what stood out to me the most after all this time i rewatched the thing like a
year or two ago it has the best shot scenes of a group of like
10 people freaking the fuck out in one room
they're not they're kind of talking over each other but they're not like every
everyone's lines are distinct and you can tell what's happening
but they're losing their damn shit and their point fingers
it's great um the cg remake is what happened to the
norwegians oh it's a prequel okay and the saddest thing about that cg
remake is they filmed the entire film with the practical
effects and the practical effects looked incredible
but a producer came down and went the kids like the god you got to make it all
fucking damn it they painted over
oh they're the worst they're the worst cg
they're so worthless they're so unbelievably worthless
they actually did it the whole the people who are making this
understood that like yeah there's a rough cut of the movie somewhere
if we're gonna do it that is all practical do it practical like they
actually got as far as filming it and having it done
and then some fucking asshole oh my god they're the worst
like and you're like you're like like it's not content enough to ruin things
from the jump or before they're made you have to come along after the fact and
okay wow wow that's annoying that's so annoying
to hear that they even did it properly and then and then it was ruined well
anyway it's still totally pointless remake because it's like a shot for shot
recreation of the things it's like wow the same
events happened twice yeah yeah yeah yeah but you do
2011 you can show the kids um well i mean look the uh
yeah that's so vexing knowing how good this was uh the
um the the actual like so the again the practical effects are incredible
the dog split i've seen a million times referenced elsewhere so i'm like
there we go in parasite of course yeah that thing is is that that thing's
legendary um but when like as good as all of those were
for some reason the the uh cpr it um where the where the chest opens up
and then like the head falls off and then this head spider and the
like for some reason that head melt sequence into head spider
looks twice as good as the previous amazing practical effects
like that one in particular was just like
unbelievably good because like he was still breathing his head is still
moving the tongue was going and then the tentacle was coming
out of it you know and like pulling itself so it
wasn't just like the plastic or the rubber dummy
you know it was still parts of him and shit and then like
um and then the deep i think that's the most complicated shot in the whole
it's unbelievable man and as it's going down
you're seeing that it's like and it's then that is its own bit and each piece
is trying to survive in its own separate way which then
you know obviously becomes part of what they're discussing like
man like that scene is complicated on two levels one the head is a robot and
the robot was attached to the body by like putty
that could stretch and melt off and then controlled remotely
but before that and it's easier to see if you're watching a blu-ray cut of the
movie so when he gets when he does the CPR and
opens up in his arms get chopped off what they did was they used an actor who
had his arms amputated at the at the elbows and they made a
silicone mask of the doctor and had him wear it
oh okay and have him switch out for yeah for the the the 15 frames
which he's standing there going yeah and then they cut to the face shot
and then they start on the the animatic with the with the the fucking
the robot and then they start actually melting it so that it pulls off
god man it's unbelievable that sequence i was i was like
fucking pogging the whole time just at the tech you know
um while while watch that movie while immersed a dozen times i still can't
tell in every scene who is the thing and who isn't
and like the most the one that's the hardest is like
when they go see wilford dude i lost my shit noose i lost my shit
there's a noose there and he's like hey guys
hey let me out no no it's cool it's cool just i just want to come back in i
promise nothing's gonna happen i'm gonna be okay and you're just like
you got to the point of tying the noose and now your opinion has changed
completely like that's that i fucking i died at that um
so the only thing i guess is like i um one thing that lingers in my brain is
i'm like okay try without looking anything else up or reading any further
i and my headcanon i'm trying to piece together the idea
that this animal bestial shapeshifting thing that seems to thrive and survive
on just um it's not exactly shapeshifting right
it's absorption and rebirth almost um uh no it can it can it can shapeshift
it can do anything right right just chooses not to do so unless it's
threatened okay but like it can it's becoming
things around in its environment but it's also like like eating things and
then like yeah and then unlike or its own blood can like
go inside of yours and then it can take over from there like yeah
but it the whole thing that it's doing i'm just kind of like okay this is a
very like survival crazy you know um
animalistic thing and i'm like the picturing this piloting a spaceship
doesn't make a ton of sense because it's almost like
you a xenomorph is great as a i'm locked in the ship and it's trying to kill me
threat but a xenomorph at the cockpit doesn't make a ton of sense
that's why you got the the jockeys right that's why you've got
like the the zenos as a separate role from
the actual fucking idiots that the drank the sippy cup and melted themselves
because they suck um so in this case i'm looking at it and
i'm like i wonder if there was another alien in that
ship that was the actual pilot and the it was transporting the thing
and then the thing got it and that's what went totally yeah
you know that makes a ton of sense to me where it's like there was a container
and it was in it and it's like okay cool so that wasn't the actual thing that
was landing and then something went wrong or whatever
it was probable that like it got the thing that was there you know
the the actual alien you want to hear a john carpenter's
1982 the thing fact which will bum you the fuck out
is it confirmation of something that we don't need confirmation of no no no
it's that it was one of the worst reviewed movies john carpenter
ever made and bombed harder than anything in theaters
bombed so hard oh man there's two reasons for that one it came out in 82
yeah in which everyone was like this is just schlock
gore garbage for idiots and two was that it came out alongside
et the extra wow oh no so critics were like i want to
believe that aliens are our friends oh no
oh that's fucking it got it got call a duty
damn yeah so that's like jesus christ okay and like you
got and not only that you got fucking spielberg on the other end of your
your yeah good fucking luck um hey you want to take your
kids to the alien movie how about the one that's really
friendly and heartwarming yeah by steven yeah yeah or do you
want to take your kids to the fucked up nightmare movie where aliens just eat
your ass and turn into a dick like the one that
went on to become the logo of the company because it was so
successful god yeah that's hopeless um oh my god people
are pointing out that it is the horizon zero
uh i uh yeah i i mean obviously like it you know
that's fine because at the end of the day that's a drop in the ocean that is
john carpenter's career um but that's a fucking
that's yeah that sucks you know what but isn't this the story of anything good
almost you know what i mean yeah there isn't any
anything good just kind of destined to fucking not actually get what it
deserves uh there's a game adaptation that came
out afterwards that does like answer the question of the
ending uh oh but i didn't care i'm like that's a
perfect ending so like okay so for many i don't care years
people would go up to people on the thing like hey man
was was curt or was like keith like the thing in the ending and the answer was
always like who cares that's the the point you
what a stupid question we're done no the point is you don't know no no the
story is the story is over it's okay you know it was great and it's just like
you know uh hey even if we even if any of us has a surprise for each other i
don't think we're in much position to do much about it
i then i guess we'll just wait here and see what happens
and we're out and i'm like yeah that's great
that's not looking great for either of them if they're both okay
and if neither and if and if they aren't it's not much better you know like
that's it uh yeah the the the ending of the
sorry the beginning of the game starts out and it's like they were both totally
fine and giles dies and then curt russell's
character goes on to meet you okay but the thing also
lives through the events so that you so it's a sequel video game
yeah okay i mean cool mechanic that's executed incredibly badly you find a
bunch of people and like you don't know if they're the
fucking thing or not and they will attack you at random at bad moments if
you don't check their blood but the problem is is whether or
not they're the thing isn't decided when you get them it's decided
actually at random so you can like save the game and test them and they'll be
clean and then like reload the game and they're not nice nice nice nice
okay that's cool yeah i was waiting that's the thing i was
as we were getting to the point where it's like okay shit now we know
and like um you know wilford is kind of like he's early on the train of like
we don't know who to suspect um the once that's established
in my head i'm like okay so what's the replicant test
right how do we do this can we do it like is it gonna have to be physical or
can it be done verbally you know and i was kind of wondering if like
i'm like it clearly knows how to socialize it clearly knows how to
you know call people by name and talk and act like person in setting where
people are around um would it fail a question like hey who's
the president you know no because it copies them perfectly
so the the information in their heads is still there
yeah it is it is indistinguishable from the person it absorbed
other than the fact that it can turn into a dog monster if it wants to okay you
can't so then yeah you can't get out you can't do it without a physical test
okay damn uh yeah so that then it was like the one
they kind of you know um explain the bit where it's like okay so the thing is
trying to um keep itself alive in all of its components
and i found that really interesting because um it reminded me a lot of um
uh there's a book called the self-esteem um by
dockins and it kind of talks about how it invented the word meme
it and yeah and it goes on to it talks about you know the original replicator
and human beings and all the different things about you know how we came to be
in such and or theoretically memes and uh one of the things that's really
interesting about it is the idea that at some point
there were multicellular complex organisms
that must have um you know as we mutated to be the way we are
there must have been uh types that mutated to be
multiple organs multiple cells and multiple like clusters of like gut
biome and such and flora that were um keeping the same
connected organism alive but did not have
a sense of self and they're just a collection of organs
so if something went wrong like an arm falls off
the rest of the body is not really caring about that because they're just
trying to keep themselves going and the coalition between
uh an organism that is like oh it's it's it's an animal
but it has no sense of protection of no no sense of self
where it bodies towards body stops and starts would be
super completely um um quick to die in a Darwinian sense
you know because there's no self-preservation right
everything trying to preserve itself individually like if you're if you're
limbs if or if your body every time something got hurt
was like fuck that take all suck all the blood out of that stubbed toe
and make it fall off because we can't use it anymore
like you would never you'd never last you know
so um the idea of like the the the our our a sense of id and all that
shit coming from a really great trick into protecting all these pieces
it kind of comes to mind when you're like and so the thing now
each piece is out for itself you know and it's because each piece is out for
itself and it doesn't have that same sort of
sense of completion that needs to be my body's on fire
hey i'm the head i'm out of here i'm out of here right what's going on over there
i don't know a tentacles popping out of these ribs why because that thing's
trying to serve itself these arms are climbing up their jump
into the rafters goes that other thing and then the organs inside are birthing
and like all of the pieces that are like seeing the moment like fire happens
it's like oh no you're on fire skin and epidermis
everything inside is like time for me to go
and like that's such a cool idea where like the
it has no sense of like trying to protect itself
it's just whatever is left to its own body no loyalty to its own body
whatever is on the bus is like get the fuck off the bus the bus is
shut down you know and they're doing like and like on the way out
like uh uh you know some of them are like hey
uh fucking okay neck and head and jaw you guys are in
all right cool we're gonna go do our thing over here
you know and each piece is like okay well i guess us we're gonna you
yeah uh eye contact we good all right we're out
you know oh hey we don't have eyes okay pops them out cool
it's such an interesting concept for a monster and more than just the shape
shifting which is the only thing i knew about the movie
prior was that it involved shape shifts shape shifting and really great press
no it's a really very it's a very strange and unique form of shape shifting
mm-hmm what a great cool concept for that
a lot of contrary is the powerhouse of the cell yeah
um and then again your your classic uh your classic roster of of you know
near-dwells and nerds and fucking guy who only smokes blunts for the entire
movie you know and uh your your your old cop
with the gun needs a little too twitchy and then
you know like what's what's your deal is you is like why you why is like oh no
you're just you're just a twitchy old asshole
that's it you know um and a surprising amount of nonchalance towards
like like random norwegian like with guns
showing up and then shooting in their direction
you know like they kind of stood there and went what is happening
and he took his shots and then the guy and then they took him out and he goes
like oh you're shot in the leg you okay it's like i'm fine
you know and they're like it was the 80s man yeah and they're like well i guess
the idea is like look we're in the fucking Antarctica right like we're
not going to waste our time and resources
where we you know and anywhere we don't need to
um but yeah don't know what's going on over there let's go try to help them i
guess but you know if you don't want you don't want to go you want to go over
there all right fine let's go find out what happened
you know i think what's great is that uh had any of them spoken
even a little norwegian like the guys what he's screaming when he gets there
is actually fairly clear that's what let me guess that's not a dog
get away from that dog that dog is not a dog yeah
it will kill you get away from it great great great yeah yeah yeah cool
um and clearly that's the other thing too is like by that point
you're also going like okay it's learned that dogs are a thing dogs are around
and also it can hop up on you and act sympathetic
to gain points you know so um it picked up a whole lot of information
in just because like there wasn't like another base
beforehand you know or other humans beforehand
the norwegians were the first people it encountered
therefore it got that much info out of that one base
you know uh so when they go yeah estimate um however many hours and i did
some quick math and it's like three three years before
planet earth is fucking done oh dude you like it's
he has a little computer simulation right and he's like how long until
and you're like oh dude it would be like right away if you put that guy into
you put that thing into a city and it was just like yeah boop boop boop boop boop
like it'd be exponential now admittedly transportation
is not what it is today in the 80s it's it's you know what i mean but it would
it would take its time but it would still get there yeah they didn't have
planes back in the 80s it was it was it was it would certainly do that but i
mean like there's there's there's uh it would and the thing is
too of course is the word the word getting out is so much worse
as well you know because they're i mean they're radioing for help outside or
and trying to figure out and there's no contact it's like of course they're
isolated you know um but uh yeah no when you
kind of just think about like as well whatever it's absorbing
like i guess they all kind of maintain that knowledge too
right yeah so it gets everything it's an it's an
impossible thing to to fucking deal with um and then the fact that it's like oh
no the cold is good because it can preserve itself
you know um yeah i'll just wait till somebody comes to
check out what happened to us mm-hmm and then somebody will dig it up and go
what the fuck is this uh and then like and fire is going to
temporarily delay it but it's not really getting all of it because
you have to completely and utterly get all of it like till there's nothing left
you know it is it is to be assumed impossible when they burn that place
down they actually totally got all of it i mean for movie purposes you have to
take that and as as what we get what we got is what we saw
um but like logistically if the blood can
try to skirt away and save itself fuck man it's an impossible enemy yeah you
know also did wilfred brimley like shovel an
entire under shack base and create a giant escape ship
in a seven hour span well no the thing did
it was it was okay i fucked the kid i misunderstood that entire part then
okay so that's what i was talking about earlier it's
it's really unclear as to at what like during that conversation where he's
like i want to come back inside he's gone is he
is he the thing or is he mentally broken and the thing just comes in and gets
him later because the thing could pretend to be
giles or whatever and open the door and just eat him because the fact that
there was a noose there made me think oh wilfred brimley himself checked the
fuck out but before he had a chance to actually do
anything uh it got him and then it's making a UFO
in the basement yeah that of course that makes so much sense because that's
where it came from that's the transportation it'd be familiar with
motherfucker okay yeah yeah okay because i'm like how
what are you you shoveling underneath there to escape no of course it's what
it was doing and then and then you get to
argue about like how anyone got to the blood
and only after and every watch is you notice that when
when they find a palmer i think it is
um like you there's a there's a foley effect of keys hitting the floor
oh okay because because windows drops the keys
uh yeah yeah yeah blood and that's how contaminated the dock and
uh forget all their names what i was um the like and then of course there's a
couple of like real clear like oh you see um you see like
someone sneaking in the back on their own and you're like okay what are they up
to and with the exception of keith david is pretty much a red flag there as
well um what i wasn't sure about was the um when
they get kurt russell's jacket or when they find it rather
like was it it was just it was just um
one of them went up to his yeah i guess one of them went up to a shack i guess
and then just planned for that um probably maybe dog guy
or maybe kurt russell let you let's ignore the video game because fuck that
maybe kurt russell was part of the thing for the
vast majority of the movie uh no he maybe was the thing
after the fight with the thing or before the blood like there there's
so that's what you want to you want to pepe silvia
chart this shit you totally you can you can the thing with it though is that
like i don't think there was an instance of thing on thing
violence right i don't think there was an instance where
it was ever willing to which if it did it would be incredible
but it that we never had a moment where it was willing to
sell itself out completely it would create doubt it would sow seeds of of you
know uncertainty and like open doors closed doors kill the
the uh the lights and such but like and and um i forgot the one guy the one
guy who's like um um oh i don't want to be trusted
with the gun the kind of chubby dude he kind of goes like oh makes a noise
later um he is like calling them over when he
sees something happening outside so they they're willing to play along to
that degree but not actually like go as far as
like a thing taking out another thing you know
oh somebody in the chat points out that palmer as the thing
points out the spider head trying to escape
oh shit yeah yeah okay well so that um there's the head escaping
um and again like i said the other the the guy that i just mentioned
he points out something sus happening outside the bunker
uh while sus as while he's the thing as well
so there is yeah okay there's implication mm-hmm yeah because there's an
imposter among us um incredible are you excited to have seen the the
the prequel to the hit game omogas yeah yeah yeah yeah isolated base no help
and uh one by one we all we all go down windows you're being a real sussy
baka although you have to fucking you gotta stop and go okay so
the final bit where the only ones left besides keith david
are uh you know kurt russell uh old man
and um uh other black guy and like other black guy who's been
particularly panicked and cautious the entire time
is now gonna go investigate a dark quarter on his own
it's a horror movie it's a movie yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah all right
all right he's he's gonna do a classic guy because i also can't remember his
name because he's not keith david yep yep
um and he well he was blasting the music earlier so
you know he was being inconsiderate that's one of my favorite moments in the
whole movie where windows is screaming at him to turn it down the rollerblades
over to the radio and just goes to not touch it
absolutely and then roller and you know what he says can you turn that crap down
i just got shot very reasonable request
but uh but uh yeah no it was um it was just kind of funny because it's like
and now we go movie moment like down the quiet dark alley he goes
like you know and so you can yell at the camera or you can yell at the movie
you know and then uh you don't gotta you don't gotta finish the thought because
you get um doc just walking with the melted face
hand of the other dude like oh oh it's oh the melted face hand in the bot
connect and it's like now we're starting to connect to each other so the
partial absorption partial digestion shit uh fuck oh it's bad
god the thing yeah john carpenter was real worried about everything in the
80s because he does the thing and then he did they live
and they live is just pure like paranoia nightmare
it's also a fucking nonsense movie that doesn't go anywhere
and it's it's a fucking trip well but i but i can but i mean
what i know about that with the whole bit with the glasses and such is like
as opposed to uh an isolated uh horror situation this is a actually it's
everywhere and and it's it's already here you know
it's it's real like domestic terrorismy
mm it's real bad yeah yeah yeah so uh
fucking amazing on that and and and it got and of course it led to me just
showing off again the the other uh practical effects marvels including
like um the practical effects hulk that never got made
but they made a working robot that was going to be piloting
the hulk and then like it was a full exoskeleton and they had the arms and
the legs and all that shit and it's just like man
just for the just for the technical marvel and spectacle i wanted to see
what that would look like you know uh and of course you know the melting
kronenbergs right the the thing the fly and and such he got
you know super amazing work there as well but this is
easily easily the best yeah the 80s was a wild time it was like i want to make
something that'll make some key grip or or gopher on set
fucking puke their guts out while we're filming
mm-hmm i want real barf on set yeah i mean that that
honestly that dog split is probably the test of
whether or not people are going to walk out of the theater
and over into et i feel because by that point you're like one like like
these two movies horror schlock but it's not just horror schlock
it's horror schlock with a dog getting fucking split
and another one melting which mind you it doesn't do the asset attack
any to anyone else right um which uh people have since
paul marketing has confirmed audiences hate
nothing more than watching a dog die on film
it's the number one thing they hate the most this was what i was talking about
last week with uh devil and me and where that whole game just turns on a
dime into active resentment the instant they ask you to
like stab a dog in the throat with a broken bottle
everyone hates it so yeah you think fucking
et phone home was gonna do a much better job in the next room over
you know you think the family wasn't walking out right around the time the
the second dog got it while the third one was trying to
bite a fence open for its own life it's prying the fucking fence
you know it's one of those things it's it's tough to see the context nowadays
but if you think about it like this is 82 right
alien came out two three years earlier right with the chestburster scene
and those two are they're not just like gory and
and like fucked up by today's standards you have to go back to like
the late 70s early 80s it is impossible to to ascertain the gut
feeling of just how much more violently gory the
thing was than everything else in the theater
it was like a thousand times yeah more violent yeah everything else
i could imagine by content by by comparison at that point for sure man
um but god like in the same context as alien i just love a
closed environment what are the rules figure them out or die
like horror situation it those that exact
like i didn't know the thing was an isolated story like that i you know
which simplifies so much as well you know
but uh it it fucking it just works man and um
i can i can i can understand why you know of course like yeah you
fast forward all these years later and it's like that's that's how you
that's how a lot of fucking stories get told is just like okay so
outside communication cut that shit off the adiata
you know um but it gets it gets harder and harder to work in a world with
cell phones and satellites you know um like the thing the the the thing
can only take place in a pre-internet story of course
like it doesn't make any sense everybody taking public fucking
footage of it instantly on instagram like y'all look at this shit like
it just yeah you know oh my grandma grew a bunch of
tentacles yeah or or yeah or just like the fact
that you can like do like a fucking blood test fucking
prick in like two seconds just pop hop cool how's it going hey hold your hand
out oh no get him you know what i mean like
what's fun is that the thing um ends up inspiring like
deep space nines like best story arc where they have to deal with shapeshifters
and the Klingons are like hey man use shapeshifter
damn totally not a shapeshifter okay cut your hand let's look at the blood
oh this shapeshifters besides if the blood turns into goo as soon as it
leaves your body that means your shapeshifter uh shapeshifters besides uh
is it uh odo yeah it's a whole fucking thing don't
worry about that okay don't don't don't worry too much about that
okay uh but yeah no that it's not it's gonna turn to a monster it's just like
no you can't maintain your shapeshifting cohesion
once it leaves your body yeah um and then they start then they start doing
my favorite trick of like blood tests ever where they'll kill a guy and then
have a bunch of his blood just sitting in like a pocket
so that when they get the blood tests done they put the human blood into the
vial from their shapeshifter oh whoa
interesting okay which is why the Klingon switched to nah cut in the hand
oh wow okay fake this yeah yeah yeah uh that that's pretty that's pretty smart
um yeah masterpiece fucking masterpiece and uh that's all there is to it
um i i want to go look up all the like making of materials i can find because
it's just uh hey it's good stuff it's good stuff you get to see them like work
the dog puppet yeah it's like fucking it's wild
no the um the final form too as well was like it was so like
i'm like it was such a no it was such a like oh and here's the final boss like
it's just like it's like and now you will witness my true power and it pops
through the ground and it's like look it's another dog
and now you got the teeth and shit and you're like
okay i guess that teeth is kind of like some of its original form or
who knows you know maybe that's some of the alien knows man
or wherever it came from but it was like clearly like it was like when kurt
was the last one left it was like i'ma pop off just for you
you know and then uh kurt russell gets to carry his
uh emotional support dynamite yeah he was picking that shit up and hugging it
and just like it truly was um uh fantastic
okay i gotta use the bathroom let me do that be our big enjoy the bathroom
all right um so yeah i mean you know that that's pretty
much uh all of real note beyond uh talking about
bayo mass effect three continues as well
um all is going to uh continue over on woolly
versus um this week is gonna be a again another
short schedule because it's you know it's december
shit's going on um i'm gonna be going to uh visit some of the
in-laws in ontario for a couple days so we're gonna
have a uh shorter or a more more unusual uh week
than uh the regular schedule i'm gonna get in at
least two sessions so at least one of of mass effect one of
bayo um and then uh unfortunately as well the
fucking timing i'm gone for the weekend uh but the fucking
serious yeah uh you got fucking own yeah i'm gonna get
friday i'm here friday so at the very least there's that but
then the rest of stream at friday night i'm gonna try to see what i can do
yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna see if i can because like um other
because three five or six beta is going down this weekend and then
i'm gonna just like bring my fucking like
like system with me there and see what the world looks like and if i can
actually do it from ontario but um bad luck
you know what can you do um so it happens it happens you got you
got christmas family obligations and such so i am so far away from every
member of my family now that my plans for christmas are to do a big stream
yeah no like that like that's where i'm at like i'm gonna call my mom and dad
and i'm gonna call my sister and you know and then i'm gonna get right onto
that internet yeah no that that that were hey you
know that plan works for me too but what are you gonna do
what are you gonna do you know so anyways um yeah that's good i'll
post the schedule later once i'm able to confirm what i'm around and what's
happening guys but at the very least i'll be able to get uh you know
part of the first day and uh we'll get some sessions for mass effect as well
as uh bayo three meanwhile over on woolly versus the algorithm go check it
out we got some fun stuff dropping um the the uh the vga's reaction vid is up
um the armored core and the and the uh what would
a bunch of the a bunch of the good stuff is coming out everything everything
vga related is dropping over there and and some some other non vga related
hilarities uh as well so go check out the second channel you will not regret it
um bringing you daily sensible chuckles uh one minute or two minutes at a time
you know uh yeah anything else for you before we uh we get into the
actually yes i completely forgotten uh so the witcher three is getting
re-released um this week um and uh it's one of those next gen
upgrades it's essentially i'm sorry i'm sorry stop what the
fuck is that shirt what the fuck is that shirt what when did what what is
oh page got it for me
yeah yeah i but i see there's a headset with
microphones and it says can't hear you i'm gaming
yeah uh so page found uh somewhere where she can get just the cringest
video game shirts oh yeah those sites and it's gonna start loading me up
okay okay okay see i i uh i god i never fucking acted on the bit but i found
i started putting i put them in my loading screen but i wanted to do a
whole thing with um it's just basically there's a place that was
doing a combination of um uh so anime cringe right there's the the um
there's a place for me in hell it's called a throne
vegeta shirt sasuke shirt all that shit yeah the the the the fucking um uh the
ricky shirts man try the park boys like oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
black absolutely blue yellow shit but then also combined with um uh
don't fuck with gregs gregs are loyal they're good shots and you know they're
great dads this one goes out to all the gregs who
were born in the month of september
you know and shit like that so uh fuck damn
okay you're gaming
all right well anyway uh you were saying
uh so yeah witcher three is getting a release and it is uh
and for all it in intense and purposes uh it's the enhanced edition that they
usually put out you know a year or two after one of their releases
it's a lot longer afterwards uh and they sent me a code to you know fuck with
it and mess around with it um it does uh first of all
uh it's free for everybody that owns witcher three
so if you have any copy of witcher three anywhere
it will automatically upgrade to like a next gen version via xbox or play
station five or your pc version it'll just be a patch
and it's actually just in in the game itself it's just called patch four
um what it does is it dramatically improves the graphics
on current consoles i don't know the pc version didn't didn't get a code for
that one um it looks way better they've
integrated a bunch of graphics mods that were on the nexus
like uh increased draw distance for certain items
the certain texture replacements etc has ray tracing mode all that stuff now
nicer graphics right it also does some control stuff
that is really appreciated they used to have this thing where when you um
when you wanted to switch between your spells you had to go into like a
slowdown time radial menu and then like select the new one and
then cast it and now they just have it like kingdom hearts
genuinely where you just hold down the trigger and then each of the buttons
corresponds to one of them okay so it's way faster
um were there were there community mods for stuff like that
what's that were there mods uh for community mods for okay
um so one of the big ones that means the most
is you no longer have to hold a to sprint you can just click in the left
stick once that's pretty good quality of life
man it's like these tiny little things
that just makes like the biggest difference when you go pick
herbs and like materials off the ground that are free
there's no menu you just pick them up you just pick them up because why would
you ever not want to pick them up
um there's a couple others that i'm forgetting
they've given you the ability to have the mini map and your objective thing
finally fade away so that when you're riding your
horse you actually have like a clean thing you don't just have like a
like a giant fucking mini map nice nice um and there's also a i forget
the name of it hold on which are three nexus all
there's a combat mod that this is really strange
what after the game came out for witcher two and witcher three
developers on the game went i'm not super happy with the way the combat
ended up in the end so they put mods up that like
significantly overhauled the way that the the base game actually worked
uh i want to say it's called fz or f fc three with with witcher three
someone would who would know better than me would actually
know what the fuck it's called it's on the nexus in here somewhere
but it's it's basically a a rebalance
of a bunch of the way that armors work uh f cr three yeah the f cr three
gameplay mod has just now been integrated into the game it's like
no that was better what combat that's the way the game works now what what
combat style would you compare the uh original
two oh no it's not it's not that dramatic okay
it's still the same base level thing these are numerical tweaks
like the leveling system's been crunched a little bit and certain armor sets
are more focused in one direction or the other and and stuff like that
f cr three let me just pull that up immersion and gameplay tweaks uh from
one of the devs um buh buh buh buh buh buh what
changed uh you can see in the dark now
commoners react to being stolen from minimal height from which fall damage
starts to be calculated series immune to damage when
she's doing her teleport uh sped up animations of monsters flying
falling down from the sky you know stuff like that like a like a rebalance
but now it's included uh so it's this nice little
genuinely improved version of the game that also looks way nicer and is free
to everyone who already owns it that's a nice little care package
uh to drop um when again like after a game
goes through a long enough lifecycle that like there
can be uh community created mods that have quality improvement
by all means reintegrate that shit if you have a skeleton crew
take their time to just do that that'd be that's that's great especially for
people that are on consoles that usually don't get that kind of thing
uh it also it also fixed a bunch of the games bugs that were
still around um uh and i think i think if i saw it on steam
earlier today i think what's your three is on sale for like
three dollars somewhere right now i'm i bet you that's all
like i wouldn't be surprised that like some of this attention is the fact
that like hey the show's popping some people are coming back around to this
for the first time again with some of that going on
and there are items they added from the show there you go there you go right
it's it's actually a new spotlight on it so it makes sense to spend a little
money doing things to it um because otherwise we know cd
project is a little tight um considering the other bit where
they uh you know the the cyberpunk multiplayer
project was completely canceled uh in order to focus on fixing up the main
thing um so yeah and then all the witcher
announcements and all that stuff so yeah this is this is probably show related
attention for sure uh one of the other things uh when i was
going through the the the preview guide or what have you is they
described that they actually went out of their way to fix a lot of the clipping
with garyl's hair garyl has a lot of hairstyles in that game that you can
pick from and it would like go nuts on a bunch of the
different armors that you could get it's like apparently they went and spent
the time to clean it up so that it wouldn't just go
super super nuts through half of the games like clothes that you could wear
okay does that matter no does it mean something to me yes
absolutely oh one other thing uh there's performance mode and ray tracing
mode on the on the playstation 5 version that i have
um yeah don't even look at that fucking ray tracing mode
don't even don't even fucking turn that on it is the difference between like
90 frames and like 20 so i was doing that
on um tmc4 special edition on on xbox actually
and it's just like hilarious why would you ever like i just no
give me my performance please every time like yeah
like not even close to 30 like not not even and like unless you're looking
like water or like you know something with a lot of
reflections and refractions exactly you can't even fucking tell the difference
it matters when you run past run run past a window
and then it's otherwise this is you know
minor for the trade-off you have to take so oh
the last big change they made they have a new camera option
that is like way way closer to gerald it is like god of wars camera
like above the shoulders like no like like you
like the waist is the the furthest down the character you can see like he's
that close and he's he's like like taking up 30% of the
the screen and that also works for like combat and the camera tries to
uh like fit enemies inside because it's more immersive
it's terrible yeah no why it's terrible no
and and it is awful like if you're playing and i think it's resident evil
is a game where you're shooting things far away from you
and this i you're making you're doing mostly melee up close right
yeah yeah you kind of want fucking to see what the fucks are surrounding you
hmm yeah overall hey they they they really they really
they smoothed out a lot of the rough edges on the witcher three and they made
it a substantially better game which is nuts because that is
probably the it's no not probably that is easily the best game that
cd project has ever put out
yeah i
i love when i when i'm the one with the preview build of the game and i look
over to see somebody correct me like the camera is customizable yes i know
that's why i said it was the new default it starts as the new god of war
camera when you load the game up and then you can change it in the options
which i highly recommend that you do
okay
that's uh we got a whole lot going with the news this week so let's take a
quick word from our sponsors yes and then roll right through
this week the podcast is sponsored by bombis so these are the socks and you
know you get a regular you get a regular christmas gift from people
from time to time that you get some socks or some
underwear things like that the practicals but
um you don't often get good quality stuff
right no i'm wearing uh i'm wearing shitty socks right now and the only
reason i'm wearing them is to hide the sight of my own disgusting feet from
my eyes it's pretty terrible when you don't have
them on and you have to see that shit but if you're going to get people
something to hide their disgusting feet and or bodies with
why not do it with something that is high quality
feels good and gives back as well bombis has got the socks underwear t-shirts
that are you know they got no seams they got the softest materials
it's that pair that you look for when you open up your drawer and you're like
eh not this one not that one that i want the good one
it's that's the one you're going to be getting and for every pair you buy or
for every item you purchase bombis don't donates another to someone in need
so um yeah uh you got uh all types of uh the
regulars with the uh pima cotton and ultra soft
marina wools and such but they've also got the holidays
versions and festive colors and designs you can take a look at as well
family sets for matching so you can be uh super you can be that that corny
family with all the all the matching sets and
get that holiday spirit going um while you all hide your horrible horrible
feet and uh bodies with the comfy underwear
you know please cover it yep nothing says hide that shit
like bombis uh real cozy underwear and socks uh they've donated over 75 million
items of clothing that's a whole lot of comfort uh for people in need so uh
give the good this holiday season with bombis you can go to bombis.com
slash super beast and if you use the code super beast you'll get 20 off your
first purchase that's b o m b a s dot com slash
super beast code super beast uh for 20 off one more time bombis.com slash
super beast code super beast thanks bombis
thanks bombis
we're also sponsored this week by hello fresh oh man i'm hungry now get your
get your box of fresh delivered goods greens
meats proteins if you prefer pastas whatever
your flavors are coming to you cool chilled
um if you got fancy holiday dinners if you're entertaining uh you know family
and friends and things are going on and popping off
this season you got more going on than usual
then you want to get uh the the prep work out of the way and that's where
hello fresh is going to come in handy quick and easy options 20 minute
meals uh that taste like they took much longer to prepare
because they do all the hard work themselves and then they send you
the pieces to put together you know it's it it it feels
as if you're coming out of the kitchen presenting a big old holiday meal
but really all the all the prep work was done
by the experts so um yeah you got 35 recipes available to choose from each
week something for everyone you can get family friendly fit and wholesome
veggie or you can customize the sides you can customize your proteins you can
customize uh whatever you want about your
deliverables and there's the holiday inspired dinner
recipes as well three course offerings so you can you
can get what you need to feed the fam
in holiday style uh with their uh with their special with their
choices uh plus if you are traveling as well when
you got hello fresh plans set up you can uh
work around your schedule change your preferences move your delivery days around
even deliver to different addresses all in just a few clicks
so it's pretty easy to set up all you got to do is go to hello fresh dot com
slash super beast 18 and use code super beast 18 for 18 free meals
plus free shipping that's a crazy amount of meals and you know
last time we had them over here they were incredible
tasted really good if you want 18 really good meals
you can go to hello fresh dot com uh slash super beast 18 and uh you use the
code super beast 18 for the 18 free meals and
plus free shipping that's america's number one meal kit
thank you hello fresh thanks hello fresh i love you
should go eat some hello fresh right now well not right now but i kind of want
to uh i'd have to cook it right i might just
eat the ingredients like a savage it'd only take 20 minutes
it would this week a podcast is sponsored by honey and honey uh
PayPal honey that is to say that's uh that's the the proper name kind of honey
it's not the kind that you put on your your sweets and your food
it's the kind that no you put on your wallet because it saves you some money
um yeah if you're shopping on your computer if you're shopping on your
phone if you're doing holiday shopping uh you're definitely gonna be
looking at a number of sites that are gonna have a promo code box
that you're wondering how you can save on cash well
a lot of promo codes you know for sites that are like oh man a big old holiday
code right here would be great since you're shopping for a lot of people
honey can work exactly at that moment they'll manually search for all the
coupons for you so rather they'll automatically not
manually you don't have to do it manually um find
you what you're looking for and just like that you're
gonna get more affordable purchases as you buy your
grifts and such this season um yeah it's it's on all of your favorite
sites all you got to do is click the honey button that appears when you get
to the cart you click apply coupons and then
watch the prices drop and just like that you're good to go
um i know i was able to do it pretty easily
on new egg got me a pretty good new set of headphones
got me a little keypad and uh one two buckle your shoe
there you go um yeah so you can keep track of price
drops on your shopping list as well if there's
anything you're looking at uh on your holiday shopping list
it'll let you know once that's going down so it's not just finding you the
best coupons it's telling you when to get them as well so
if you don't already have honey you could be straight up missing out by
getting it you're doing yourself a solid support in the show
uh get paypal honey for free at joinhoney.com
slash super beast that's joinhoney.com slash
super beast thanks honey thank you honey all right
well before we get into news there's something i forgot to tell you it's
actually vital i was excited to play street fighter six this
weekend i'm actually really excited i love street fighter six i want to play
lots of street fighter six i got an arcade stick it's a
horror real arcade whatever the playstation five one it's good
that's not what i want to talk about start playing guilty gear again
because hey man if i'm gonna start playing a fighting game again to get
whatever why not play stride right strides good
hey guess what patemkin still patemkin still patemkin
especially at floor seven and eight not changes is where it put me
but what i will have to say is that i may have to admit something
um so uh as i'm in my office right and my office is a
separate building from the house and i have the internet coming into the
office right which means i don't have the internet
being wired out to my house which means that over the past
couple of days i've been playing guilty gear strive
online with the wi-fi across my yard
i had to take my headphones off because i didn't want to hear you say it
i didn't want to hear it but i saw your lips
and the shape you saw my lips i saw your lips and the shape they made
do you feel good about yourself yeah actually it was totally fine
you feel proud yeah you had good you had i don't think pride is the is the right
is the right phrase you're one of them now do you understand
i am one of them now but here's the difference though oh oh oh please
by all means i don't even have the energy is i don't even have the energy
is hold on why are you different why are you what what makes you
the red bar wi-fi warrior that that is so different
please well for one thing i'm not getting red bars okay
and in fact when i was playing uh no one could tell the difference
well well they see the thing is it's not about the bars it's about the drops
and consistency now isn't it no it is it absolutely is
um i got the special antenna required to do so for
long distance uh and i my router has a wi-fi 6 which i'm not
familiar with uh but it's a million times more
reliable than my existing experience with wi-fi
it's still going to come down to your jitter ping
so what you're looking at might seem stable but you don't know over the
course of unless you do a so here's the thing
i i've run multiple tests and i have the same jitter
wired in over here as i do wireless over there
i cannot i'm using speed test by ukla
i cannot find a difference between them despite multiple tests
download speeds etc
now you understand that that sounds like a lie
oh no absolutely no listen you understand that sounds like an untruth
i'm telling you the truth i am not noticing any difference in performance
okay with this particular setup okay the idea
x to x to doubt x to doubt a game a day by the way on friday i'm not streaming
during the evening page is gonna be streaming on friday night i knew you
would be wanting to play street fighter and that you
would work as an excellent test of the house's ability to play
street fighter and you're gonna be on wi-fi
yes okay and there's no uh alternative to
there's no other setup situation outside of tracing i'm not running a 100 foot
ethernet cable through the grass in my yard dude
this is this is oh boy so we've arrived
we've arrived here where um after what must have been a decade
of uh calling out the red bars calling out the wi-fi
warriors uh-huh um we've joined them
because um i guess setup is is is too difficult to
well so so the other the other question i get there's a lot
but um i mean modem is is located where
there uh is that a redoubler or is that a signal redoubler or is that the
actual that's the modem coming right out of the cable
the the fiber optic it's there
like literally i'm like it's like two feet past the end of my finger okay
but but you can't you can't get out directly to it
well i'm in my office right now is this the place where you play
no okay you this is the place that i stream
okay if i were to stream fighting games i would be here you'd be fine
it's when you're and i would be okay that was dude that was super confusing
because i like i'm like i thought you're playing games in the place where
you would prioritize having the the quality
thing but it's like you're talking about not not where you currently are
you're talking about i don't want to hide in my in my damn office
16 hours a day away from my wife and my dog and my cat
certainly but you should hide away from your wife and your dog and your cat
when you want to get quality matches this is clearly the sacrifice
should and must be made no no the sacrifice is the other person
dealing with my wi-fi uh yeah no you're you're one of them
you're fucking i love i love hanging out with my wife
more than that person loves packets you are you are fucking
taking what should be an easy decision
abandon your fucking life and get to the setup that has the best response
is clear as day this is the right choice to make
and you are choosing to walk the alternate path the path of darkness
no really again whenever i stream something then don't stream but sit in
the same chair no i'm gonna fucking chill in my
house on my couch in the chair where the quality is good
and don't click the button no here's the thing the quality is good
i got the fast wi-fi it's different
you're fucking you're done no for real i've been playing guilty gear
for uh all week and have had no problems at all
okay like no problems at all well i i mean
works fine for me is what they all say so guess what uh give me some blood so i
was gonna fucking play you on friday and then you could tell me what your
shit look like give me some blood and i'll get a hot wire and i'll
fucking stab it in the blood and i'll see how it looks because you're like oh
no dude it's fine i'm okay no problems over here
uh solidus in the chat trusted solidus
wi-fi 6 is a brand new band that does not have interference like 2.4 and 5g
do pat's correct oh no solidus
who side are you on fucker turning on you they're turning solid
oh they're they're they're turning on you until
until it is fucking known and clear and tested we need to fucking see
then test it what are you doing friday
yeah so we're probably gonna start not night we're probably gonna start early
because i have to fucking that's fine i'm i'm fucking free all day friday
so i'm not doing shit other than play the street fire five six beta yeah okay
so we're gonna i'm gonna do a friday stream to get in whatever time i can
before we leave so yeah um that's it
now the the uh and look woolly if i beat you again
then you have free john's just right there oh it's because my wi-fi so there
you go there you go exactly no by all means by all means
dude i i'm like it's one thing though like the the the part
where it's like okay so you you do have both setups and you have i
guess um i don't know if you have the console
setup right now as soon as god of war as soon as i finished recording god of
war i took the playstation and put it in the house
okay because i because well for two reasons one that's helpful but the
second thing is that i'm like hey man when's the next big exclusive
sony game that i'm gonna stream gonna come out i literally don't even know
so we can go live in the house i mean the the gag about about like
you know the gag about about you being out and
and uh admiring uh whatever fighting game stuff was
was interesting from a distance has been going on for a while
but embracing wi-fi in a situation where you have the choice
let me so here's the thing here's the thing no no listen to me listen to me
right right i got this place i'm very happy i'm thrilled living in bc it's
great and the way that i'm like oh cool i have a separate office
that means the dog's not going to run around in the background
cooking doesn't happen in the background right it's nice
sealed off everything that happened but that means that the part where the
internet has to be really good is right here with the stuff where the setup is
people at home where the setup is right that's much more important than my
personal enjoyment of of my fucking dick around time
or whatever right and so then i had this moment i'm like okay
i'm gonna talk to the internet man and the internet man says that because it's
two places it's two buildings that if i want
internet in the house i gotta get a second connection
account and i was willing to do that right but
before i did that i'm like i'm gonna see how this works
right because that's like bullshit a month
right and hey guess what it works completely fine
worse completely fine
i mean look if i'm being if i'm being if i'm being told to swallow a big
glass of like wi-fi is totally fine now uh you know the world works if you get
that good wi-fi that i have if you get the real good one right the one that
yeah yeah the special kind no my dorm my dorm has the good wi-fi don't worry
about it the matches are fine no no no woolly no you're not
listening no no i you're using you're using wi-fi
six different because it's my wife yes exactly my wi-fi is the good that's the
good one exactly it's totally you know and and at the end
of the day uh what you see is acceptable and
um fuck them anyways
uh yeah okay well i've done this i have done this
this podcast on wi-fi i know for funsies sure i switched it
you didn't even notice it that's not it's not the point you even notice my
podcast inputs going to rise that's not the point
but me fucking noticing anything is nothing i'm not
the game and i'm not the the the fucking the delay and i'm not the lag and i'm
not the the rollback you know so
just understand that um it's a choice and if it's
if your internet is superior to others and your internet is better and your
wi-fi is the real good wi-fi and everyone else is
is the problem uh sure man um but i was preparing to hear about a
scenario where this is the only way it could be because of the way you moved
but what it actually comes down to is what it is what it actually comes down
to is where you want to sit
so you know
you know i'm not gonna come out to a different building to play fighting
games at fucking 11 a.m yeah they're called locals
fucker i'm not running locals in my own
fucking yard
it's called your fucking local community bra
all right all right well well i suppose we'll learn more
about about wi-fi 6 then um yeah and and if i see any fucking
teleporting on friday then uh hold that fucking shit check your
internet uh-huh maybe it's your you know what yes
unplug and re-plug absolutely i don't i don't know what um
i don't know what wi-fi 6 is i should literally just run a bunch of
sets like after this and just be like in
strive and be like see it's fine i mean look rollback is gonna do the
heavy lifting no matter what you're on but
you know like in terms of just like
the the the there's i mean there's a couple of videos
breaking it down essentially but what they all have to say in common is that
like you can have connections that mirror wired
connections in terms of their best performance the problem is that they
will not mirror wired connections consistency
because of the nature of what wi-fi is there will always be
i i completely understand that you know what i am telling you is that i've
been playing strife on and off all week i've been playing
final fantasy on and off all week and you haven't and i've had no issues
whatsoever okay okay
damn man i barely recognize uh the man before me because he's
all uh delayed and fucking
pixelated so i can't make out the face anymore but
uh somewhere in there um i'll say this listen in the out in the ocean
when uh you are challenging randoms and randoms are challenging you and and
you know people are crossing paths if i crossed your path and i saw
the icon next to your name had three little little waves
little wavy symbol i would turn my head and keep walking
the expansion of device handling with wi-fi 6 is great news for gamers because
it means more stability and less spikes this is especially true for those who
share their network with others in the home
fuck blanca players it's not about that wi-fi players we don't talk to them
we don't shake their heads we don't look at them in the eye
and that's real because they're because they're we can't they're too far
they're lagged back you can't you can't they can't see what's happening they're
they got rolled back that didn't less spikes which is like i've had packet loss
over a cable your internet connection is not ideal at all times
oh yeah no some people are fucked like like plague is just there's nothing
you can do it doesn't matter what's happening see that fucking thing he
posted it doesn't matter what kind of 98
percent packet loss it's you know a wire ain't gonna save
you from the fucking swamp you know that's for sure
but uh yeah yep here we are
so i'm gonna ask one thing of you you should probably play a match of this
you should play some smash ultimate and uh and see see how much you enjoy that
um see how that goes i took a shower this morning okay well
because you know in a non rollback system you're gonna feel
reality more than you would why would i play those
excuse me why would i play those games that don't have the rollback
ever yeah well that's that i mean now that there are rollback games why would
i play non rollback games to see the true nature of what you're doing to the
world no but why would i i wouldn't i wasn't playing
them before like if you really want to know
then you go you go naked into the world of delay based
and find out how that's gonna no i don't want to you know
i was like you before that yeah no here's here's the one thing that i'm
gonna ask of you if we do get matches on friday
and i'm using my wifis i want an honest assessment of whether or not
you encountered issues or not sure absolutely um
that's that's that's what i'm and here's the thing uh
unfortunately like there is also new settings that they've implemented
where it's going to be um like i talked about last time
the delay is now going to be changed from what it was before and that it's
going to be variable to that round and it's going to take the
the lowest state and maintain it so we might be in an environment
that's not the most stable version of the game compared to last time right
there might be issues happening regardless of what your
connection strength is because of the the the network tests that they've
they've they've changed um but providing that it you know um
and again it would all be better if they solidified that delay but
providing that it uh it can be felt then uh yeah you know i guess we'll have to
see i guess we'll have to see uh but damn this
sounds crazy this is this is wild this is i think tonight i'm just
gonna hop on strife and just be like open up a
room and just like literally just ask people how it be
like that's it you certainly could um and i mean if there was a way to
i like if i don't know if you wanted to like get as as in depth as like opening
up um a network monitor and and like actively
looking at packet loss be honest i don't know how to do that okay i actually
there's a couple of there's a couple of like you know third party things you
could run that show you just straight up a like here's
you're up here's you're down here's your you know your your consistency and
it'll it'll show you the exact moments and such but um
no but it is my my experience that if wi-fi 6 works this well for everybody
then we can be free of the tyranny of the cable
like
i mean until you know i get in what environment like okay maybe it works
super fine in some cities in some neighborhoods what about in a building
where like 15 people are on it and uh they're all doing i see now that well
because there's a million you would always have to use a cable because the
interference but there's a million variables where
that sentence doesn't work for because it's like if you're the only thing
connected you still have a different thing from what a
fucking you know wi-fi can be so sporadic and
random if you're in a apartment building that means
looping the cables not a big problem but if the thing that you have
installed next to you is the same thing installed in the mcdonald's
down the street it doesn't mean you should be getting games and fucking mcdonald's
you know so like that does you should get those games in mcdonald's
so this is uh mcdonald's should install wi-fi 6 so that you could have
locals in your mcdonald's um a giant healthy big
blue x to doubt until proven otherwise on this
shit because holy fuck a wire will always be better
no of course woolly like of course a wire will always be better
of like of course you're going for i have not lost my fucking mind
what i expected to have a good enough signal let me let me
what i expected to happen was for me to load up
like you know final fantasy is one thing right that that has like
you know latency stuff it's not as important right i expected to be like
this will be fine for this and then i load it up strive and i'm like i bet
this will be a problem and i'll have to actually call the internet man and
fucking fight with them about this bullshit and get like a second
line installed or whatever and then i had like three four hours of
matches and forgot about it okay well to me a wire will always be
better is the is the beginning and end of the of the the thought
because then it's like that's then we're just gonna do the thing
that work that that will always be better it doesn't matter
what's going on with the like i have the good wi-fi and it usually works fine
but uh-oh um there's too many connections there's too many other
things going on uh-oh something that drove by is is
interfering with it using this for like weeks and haven't had a problem
my neighbor is is fucking stealing
dated shit out of the air you know like it's just it it just
takes all variability out of the equation so i'm just like yeah
we're gonna we're gonna just do the thing that is
you know always the superior one
um all right we'll see we'll see damn damn that's crazy
um yeah yeah i would like to see as well how uh how
this performs in like again like a dorm situation or a
well i'm not going to be able to show you that yeah you know or a or a busy house
with a lot of people fucking you know doing a ton of
shit like someone someone else while you're got
while you're playing matches you got someone else that's the
fucking instagram live-ing you know doing their live stream from their phone
or from a desktop somewhere that's taking that's hitting the up
as well as the down i mean uh the other night page was streaming darktide out
of here right out of this spot and i was playing
darktide with her in the house so she was using the upload
on this thing and both of our phones were going off
i've had situations where no issues yeah i've had situations where i'm
streaming um punch moms on a video call um
you know min's uploading like i've had situations where
you know the the pipe is getting full uh but
um
i would like to see the use cases on a on a wi-fi 6 uh in terms of just like
this being the like oh you know uh why like in terms of
accepting a reality where wired is always best
but wi-fi is getting to a point where sometimes it's okay for me to accept
the sometimes it's okay i need that use i need that that that test case
to be expansive and and cover a whole lot of people
i believe that is i believe that is what's happening
right now i feel like this is this is the step up that i need
to it being fine rather than the usual wi-fi experience which is this is
unplayable garbage
damn no red bars you said not a single one just three green bars of cope
yeah okay all right yeah all right what do you want what do you want me to tell
you that i had i had four hours of matches with no
problems at all i want a single drop i want you to tell me you're just
sitting that chair and fucking you know do it right but
all right all right fine um not fine let's go
all right what happened um street fighter six is far away
ah that's what i want to talk about no that's way
farther than i thought it was gonna be it's pretty far away but you know what
i'm pretty sure if you hit up amazon you can get a cable that's the length of that
distance that you could get the length of six months is what you
sense i mean now begins you understand that
now begins the era of uh hey pat check it out new deal on amazon
we got a hundred foot cables uh pretty affordable have you ever used a hundred
foot ethernet cable i have not used a hundred foot
ethernet cable it sucks actually yeah the signal
significantly degrades like there is there is a pre-canned response to
people who talk shit on their garbage connections that you can
the people reply with just here you go buddy no like no really i am actually
very serious like and you can look at the chat like a hundred foot ethernet
cable oh yeah actually sure sure sure i i'm i'm i'm
very inclined i very much would believe that like if you ran something i don't
know what the distance whatever the distance is you might notice
issues going from the house all the way to where your
your router is now uh that would be suboptimal
uh what more optimal would be the the the chair at the stream setup
you know um let me ask you if it's completely fine yeah
and you notice no problems at all then i guess you're good where does this
evolve into like i don't know where nowhere nowhere nowhere this is just
this is just years of all my like years of
wi-fi users are making everything worse for everyone
is what you is is what it is like there's no easy
and that's still true like these are the worst people that are shitting on the
floor where everyone has to walk um and it's just that's still
true yes and the most frustrating thing about this but you're saying you're
wearing a diaper so it's not it's not that bad
is that when street fighter six comes out if i'm
at the house playing street fighter six i will not be able
to deselect other wi-fi people from my matchmaking because all be on wi-fi
so you want a world where you can still see
wired or the people and wireless people and you want to
sort the other wire wi-fi players they're the bad
they're the bad wi-fies but you you deserve the connections to the wired
yes different no totally for sure man absolutely that makes perfect sense
that's great yeah absolutely you know when we filter out all other wi-fi users
you should be the exception you are the special just me
yes and you should filter out everyone else that is like other people with the
wi-fi six mm-hmm mm-hmm there should be a special
icon to say hey no no no don't worry guys this is the good one
isn't there already that
oh shit damn
there's a there's a a poll i just retweeted
the if you want to check that out just just being on a wi-fi connection
and getting a pop-up challenge from another wi-fi player and being like
ew disgusting ew gross
oh disgusting all right here we are
all right well anyways um
what's going on well um there's some some big announcements
we're gonna roll through again the ones we care about and then
we'll get to the rest because there's a whole lot of shit that got dropped
at the video game awards but um before the announcements to the things that we
know and love actually i want to put up first and foremost
what i thought was the absolute sickest thing we saw
um the trailer for replaced i knew you were gonna say that that was
totally the best you just hit your mute button oh you're good wait i did
oh okay you you muted out i didn't no okay
then the we couldn't hear you for a second there sorry well that's strange
replaced you're not you're not currently are you
no you're in the you're in the good currently what you're not currently on
wi-fi are you okay all right i think i noise gated a
little bit okay there might have been the gate
mm-hmm uh the fucking look of replaced is incredible
and finally finally we've seen what comes
after octopath traveler right it's not just triangle strategy
so you take um classic pixel art then you get your pixel nouveau which is your
you know your shovel knights and the the modern shit that kind of
tries to pay homage to the style but refines it and does stuff that's a
little less limited but um still embraces the
look and then octopath is like let's add lighting
let's add shadows let's add texture uh and then voxels gets you a 3d
evolution of that idea but replaced is actually still flat
but the environment is high res textures and if you were to on paper
have a meeting and describe this game to me i would tell you it sounds like an
awful idea like everything about the way
this uh uh the idea of a you know pixelized
like flat pixels 3d environment all that shit but the the difference in
quality between the textures uh and the pixels themselves would be so
high that it would probably look terrible but this looks
unbelievably good um a retro futuristic platformer
um it also helps that you know yeah the setting
is like uh showing you a bunch of like run down shitty areas that like benefit
from that the the grittier textures you know uh
fuck it looks good it looks great i want to play it
um i don't even i'm like i'm trying to remember i'm like was the genre like
just was it just like action like it was their turns i don't i don't even
think i i i parse i couldn't quite tell i really couldn't i couldn't parse what
the combat was exactly doing but it looked beautiful
um and uh let's see who's making that
replaced i don't i didn't recognize the people making it either coat sink
coming out next year uh coat sink has made shadow point
cloud gardens get packed no i don't know any of these
okay well uh not a list of things i recognize
but this thing looks unbelievable um so kudos to them on that
oh they they did a Jurassic park game and a transformers thing
okay uh visually at the very least let's even like
whatever the game ends up being our harvard ends up playing
even if it's trash it looks real nice this this game is important for
it represents what i see as a at the next step
you know in terms of uh how much can we masturbate with pixels
how far can we take it you know um glorious i fucking love it uh i don't
that i don't necessarily want to see uh uh uh you know chrono trigger
remade with that style of you know or whatever but like as far as you know
new things go that can can fully embrace and lean into it
uh hell yeah man really really cool visual style yeah replace was definitely
like the the biggest stand out what the fuck is this
yeah um i think it's and again like well anyway
we can some people are like they want to see chrono trigger like that
i you know i i mean when it comes to the remake shit like
i think the way like ff6 was doing it was just like
smart where they're like let's fuck around a little bit
but not too much so it's not the whole game
in 3d but the opera we're gonna we're gonna do some shit you know
let's fuck around with little bits and pieces but don't go too hard a tiny
smidgen yeah because you're also challenging you're
challenging nostalgia to some degree right uh anyway so yeah
check that shit out um okay and then uh of course
i mean actually factually sandy dna's i can't believe it a hideo kajima
joint believe it like say they actually showed off sandy
opening up the shot of the desert
started to scream like i'm like no man scream
um so uh uh first off i'm surprised that like i thought
okay when norman redis kind of came out and went oh yeah we just
finished doing the the second one and he kind of spoiled
that this existed yeah um i kind of thought that norman redis was being
an actor who doesn't fully know what's going on
and then he was actually making a completely different game and that he
was probably involved in some degree with uh what's the other one they just
announced uh the horror one that leaked i don't know uh overdose was it
i think maybe i think it was like overdose right
and i thought like he was like probably playing a
cameo role in that and he's like oh yeah we just finished doing
whatever yeah i didn't think it was actually just straight up but no
they're making a game a different game and then in addition to that they're
making straight up just starting to yeah um and it's in the
fucking desert and it's in the sand and it seems like
now you're playing as fragile and uh you
fuck you like you you're telling me that we're gonna take this setting
to a desert location where sand is everywhere
and this fucker is not gonna play with the concept of dna's
are you out of your mind of course it's going in this direction
furthermore d son sandi 3d like he can't help himself it's gonna happen
i think it might actually happen if there's a character whose name is sandi
i'm gonna just shit my pants right in this chair
sandy d son
like it's just uh you know because here's the thing is that net
is so wide with puns that like oh yeah he's gonna like
he's gonna do his best to pretend he does not see it
and then he's gonna just lose his mind and just gorge on the puns because he
can't help it right i still think we need to stop giving
kojima the benefit of the doubt with the puns
and his ability to hold off on the puns after soul
lie having me just scream as loud as i can at the fucking television
look i think quite frankly that's the worst one ever
i think that when we watch or when we read about how
he says i'm sorry i did not mean to predict the future
i have to change the way i write and he wrote a sequel
for death stranding back when the first game was uh still fresh
and he scrapped the entire thing after kovid uh yes he's trying to get as far
away from reality as possible for all we know his stand might still make it so
that reality warps its way into happening the way he wrote
but yeah because like i'm afraid he's gonna be like well this is the new thing
it's about aliens attacking and then aliens attack us
you like can you can you just do what what was the other one
what was the other future you could have given us whatever he
whatever he threw out and erased you bet your ass that when you took all the
ingredients of the of the script away he kept the puns
and then he rebuilt the entire framework for death stranding to
up from those puns draw bridges bridges but this time we're draw bridges
and you draw them but also a draw bridge can go up or it can go down
and that means that you can choose to close yourself off when you need to
or choose to open up right because sam is someone who learned how to open up to
others even though he still doesn't like being touched but a draw bridge
is a bridge that is not a forced connection it gives you the
option of choosing to connect to some people
i hate it
can't wait can't wait he looks great he's old i hate it
can't wait new weird new weird bb um
yeah fucking spoiler alert on our conversations right
new weird bb um new dry baker's character is somehow alive
um the red army with the masks looks awesome
and that looks good i hope that i'm not getting gassed up for
another like cool soldier unit that means nothing
you know because that happens a lot there's always a super cool soldier unit
that kojima is gonna fucking tease you with
um god dammit man i think the funniest thing about that whole trailer is like
when the ship rises out of the ground and i'm like that's just rex it's 1000
percent rex and you know what who go stop him
who's gonna take him away but it's like the ghosts of konami
no one can stop him from just putting rex in his new thing
and now that is rex created by kojima productions
piloted by ludens what just steal metal gear piece by piece
who's gonna who can do anything about it you know uh it's great i like i like it
i like it and um what i'm curious to know now is
so it seems like you're playing as fragile and it uh it seems like you know
time has passed and we're dealing with the whatever is going on in the setting
i didn't really want to revisit the same thing i kind of think that world is
interesting that you can jump around it but
who knows we're we're you know it also makes sense to that like
it's a big it's their big new studio hit like
sequel is money you know you're gonna you're gonna double down on the things
that people know and love are you gonna be like delivering packages as fragile
or is it going to be more about just the kind of an action thing you know
i don't know the whole thing actually the the big question for me is like
transport seems really easy when you have a flying ship
mm-hmm right mm-hmm so i'm i would be okay if the game was a little less uh of
trucking in that it's a little more narrative and it's focused on these
other characters doing like you know things that are much more like
world plot driven um because that you know the
trucking experience was it was fun i got into it
um i don't know that you know you got a super
do all that again and the world is an interesting and alive enough that you
could find other stories to tell that are not about i was wildly into the
trucking yeah it was it was good it was good
but it is such a it's an interesting living world that you can do more with
if you didn't return to that exact style of gameplay so
i would like more types of trucking okay so that i could truck to new
experiences
we'll have to see but i actually significantly disagree
i the trucking is vital hmm interesting i don't find it vital but it's
fun it's great uh i trust that you know
koji can fucking tell a story regardless mm-hmm
but i also you can tell a story yeah i i also um
i mean it depends on also like if the trucking
environments are you know are particularly good like
you got you got your mountain trucking and your mountain which is not really
trucking as much as it is like you know um
ziplining and and making an overpass eventually
but uh if you can find a way to like i don't know maybe like underwater like
maybe you got a truck underwater you can truck underwater yeah maybe you got a
submarine and like build a rapture piece by piece you know
you just won't play subnautica man subnautica is out there i do know about
that that is literally just subnautica yeah i don't know i don't know i mean
i'm just i'm curious to see like what what uh what the flow is gonna be you
know um but at the very least the trailer
showed off and this is what it's probably gonna be at least for the
introduction to the setting it's like they're not gonna like if there is a
lot of trucking they're gonna show you a bunch of characters cut scenes and
you know the things that are like plot related happening
um because that's what's going to carry you forward after now that you know
uh all of the events of the last game like that's going to carry you a bit
more forward um with your interests but
flying dropping packages off and just like fucking
uh high tailing it out of there uh you know maybe maybe we're dealing with a
setting where there's like the isolation is more like there's
towns now you know and you can just fly into town and
do a bunch of what is essentially like sub quests and
in one drop who knows looks cool though
um we will see if monster uh reconnects their deal
because i don't think so if monster opts out
or if they picked up like red bull or some other
uh sponsor that would be wild fucking 24 hour energy here that would be crazy
but there needs to be something there needs to be some form
of obnoxious product placement um in this game and uh they have not yet
shown it well we didn't get any of that till
the full release and then it came out and everyone's like what the
yo arizona ice tees
oh that'd be good that'd be good
fucking that's powerful if they teamed up with arizona
that would be so powerful yeah man get a half a half you know what it's vital
you know what the the problem is detail that
absolutely has to happen hey why'd we switch to this
well we're running low on budget and these are 99 cents a can
in the future in the future whatever the fuck yep yep
they're a don't they're only a dollar it's crazy still affordable
damn maybe maybe the crazy uh bandits can calm down
if you offer them a box full of Arnold Palmer's
you know and then everyone can take a break
enjoy their sips together and that's how you can clear a mission
but you got to have a buck but then you have to give up all your fucking drinks
sandy all right
um
fucking uh the Hades 2 from left field doing the thing that i guess
it's just like kojima productions right it is
like it is feasible that they're like you know what this is a big hit let's
just fucking make the next one supergiant makes unique stories every
time and they're great um i fully fuck that i want new
weapons yeah i i fully expected them to be like
time to keep this this you know keep the stories moving because they're
i love that about them but they're like nah man Hades is huge we're fucking
rolling in it keep it going and i mean look i'll tell you
one thing like as as much as i want to know uh as much as i
want to see the next concept you take one look at some of those gods
and you're just like god damn it yeah okay hey remember that really nice
shade of green that was used sometimes in Hades more more that's the primary
color this time god man just in case you didn't think
that these were the best character designs ever here's a whole new roster
and they are still the best character designs ever like
uh you know the kind the kinds that could never be done justice in 3d almost
you know um okay so here's nemesis here's what they need to do
all right you need to get to the part of Hades
2 where you beat the Hades 2 and you do whatever the fuck you need to do with
Chronos or whatever and it goes congratulations you may now play as
Zagreus and they just just do that shit where they
just roll the entirety of fucking Zag's moveset into it
you know and then Hades 1 becomes pointless
now that now that it's the sequel and like super giant has had adequate time
to discover how insanely horny the world is for their characters
i wonder if they're gonna like triple down on that
and like i think i think the funny push the social mechanics
on Hades 2 was like a fucking image of like
melano put a melanoe how i don't know how's mel whatever
pushing zag out of the way going move over bisexuals it's bisexuals time to
suck
yeah no um there has never been a roster the world has been
fucking no that's not true there's been lots of rosters overwatch continues to
dominate like porn not game porn just porn but
in terms of just like fucking like gremlin gamer lust
that the cast of Hades is is up there um i uh yeah more Hades is cool
i i hope as well that like the last thing i expected to see
yeah i never but i hope that like the success of Hades
has also fucking funded them to a degree where
um they can you know develop in a in a way that's not
like restricted i hope that you know the
because the way they did Hades was awesome slow and steady
um i would i don't know if they're gonna continue that with this but i hope
that the yeah i played Hades completely through like three
times one was right when it came out later was like halfway through its
development and then when it finally released
yeah i'd like to do that again we're gonna do and they're gonna do
at least the early access step is coming as as announced
um and i'm gonna warn everybody that uh you know
don't fall into the the trap that i did uh which is
early access when there's no ending or no beating it
um to the point of like wearing it down and then when the final
drops and you're and you just you you don't get get around to it
you know um yeah yeah don't do that
um sure you can you can i think the way for me to do it
is gonna be to dabble my toe while um waiting for the the big
drops you know did i talk about me running into that problem with
satisfactory yes a couple weeks ago you did and i
yes and same thing for um same thing for darkest dungeon two
same thing for balder skate same thing for uh dead cells um there's a bunch of
games that i don't get so deep into it yeah there's a bunch of games that i
kind of like i love it and i love it and i
early access it into the ground and then and then you go back to it and
still in early access and it's but there's twice as much stuff and you're
like yeah but am i gonna really go through it
again again hades i would because hades is like
hades but um but damn it if you like
hades is one too though like where like it takes a while to build up some of
those skills you know you got to do runs you got to put the work in
um and uh you get better as a player
certainly and that's going to make things go faster but like
lost progress in that game hurts you know uh so
anyway um yeah fuck yeah good shit on that
um
that sounds like a me problem sure um how about that armored core
fires of rubicon um so there's been more news that have come out of this
yeah people like is it gonna be like a soul no car confirms comes out goes no
bitches it's armored core missions you fight the robot it goes fast
hard confirm it's an armored core game shut up uh it's an armored core ass
armored core game um yeah notice the six
right it's it's it's it's not called it's not called something else it's called
armored core six so done hey guess what that means all
right get ready okay build the mech buy the parts it means
outfit the met spend 40 minutes distributing your weight
getting the right weapons testing it in the simulator play the mission
get fucking smoked in the mission come back
do that again it means hold the controller backwards
so that the buttons face away from you and you can properly press everything
that you need to to play this fucking game
oh can't wait can't wait to learn reverse control style
oh yeah no i right there i was watching it and i was just like
it was fucking just robot porn and it's mecha porn and um no it just
fucking i just kind of like i'm like what the
fucking you doing you stupid idiot just just fucking get into
like this has like like armored core is it's like the it's a franchise that
absolutely has the potential to own my life
you know like i could i know how deep that rabbit hole can go and i know
i have i have friends as well that are super in and i know i'm like yep
yep this is all the markings of a time vampire for yourself
um so like with that it's like just fucking
let it happen you know so i think i'm gonna i'm gonna see if i drown
um with this but it it just that they're so good the designs are so good
you know and they love the robots they look like robots
um uh yeah and and you know i i do like as well that it's not
necessarily armored souls you know like i like that it's like no we're
bringing it back it's been a million here it is
um nothing else to say but i wanted it to be armored souls which i kind of do
also i would want their new game to be called armored souls
and not armored core six if it's called armored core six
i want to go on a mission to get some fucking bullshit for some company that's
never going to be mentioned again in the story
and then lose to glint so if armored souls has to happen or is going to
happen which i could imagine a cool version of that existing
i would say i'm glad that this is what you're getting first
right do this first before you go there um
yeah and uh not much else except for what leaked beforehand which
you know um you can't some things you you know the lid is going to be kept
tied on but something like that probably not so uh fires of rubicon the rubicon
is uh that thing that sees are crossed you know
uh in this case it's uh about a planet kind of energy bullshit yeah it's a
planet with energy and uh it was supposed to
be humanity saving energy but then they started fighting each other over it
and now it's all a dangerous no-go zone because
the flaws of human always be wary of the flaws of human
whatever be wary of patches
um be wary of patches will be there i want to see a controller scheme option
menu where it's the buttons are actually instead of
going through type a b and c it's just showing you different ways to hold the
controller like yeah turn it backwards put the
triggers on your thumbs all right get your two
indexes wrap them around the two joysticks okay here you go
that's type b you know what i want i want type like
d to show like a non-human hand sure
like a like a gnarled ass werewolf hand with six fingers
um like that fingers fingers um okay um then they showed off the
latest ff 16 trailer holy fucking shit that game looks sick
hey that game's gonna pop that game looks really good
um yeah i i i saw a lot of the you know the earlier trailers
recovering the the titan spectacle fights which we know are going to be
awesome they're going to be these like set piece battles that are probably going
to change genres each time and such but when it comes to the you know moment
to moment on the ground uh combat how's it gonna be
that's like oh it's gonna be 15 it's gonna be double cry but better
so yeah cool um i have to say like the more i look at it i i want
i want to know like it looks so much like a reboot of like a single player ff
14 really like even the the even the summons that
they picked are all the a realm report summons okay
like it's i like the the music the the cast the the the general tone and like
i mean it really looks like there was a because there was an ff 11 single player
thing going around for a while they were going to redo ff 11 like a single
player game and then that disappeared and then the same rumor came around for
14 and then that disappeared and now we see this i'm like
could it be i don't know well regardless it looks great
um somebody in the chat says except for phoenix dude phoenix is totally in a
realm reborn summon i mean yeah i was i was gonna say like is it
because of yoshi p is it just like obviously we're just
we're gonna lean into the thing that's been popping off for this and keeping
the company afloat for the last decade you know um well it's not just him it's
also soaking it's also the writer of heaven's word
like it's a it's a bunch of those guys um
now kiyoshita
sure uh yeah very very very little to say beyond just like
this game the settings the ff everything we're seeing looks rad
and um the only thing more hype than summoning a summon
is deteeing into a ff summon done it looks like hey what if you know how
everyone liked all those moves that nero had where a arm would come out
and he had like a stand what did you had six of those
i mean i think like it's almost as if like for
for 16 games it's like the word summon has been holding us back because
it was an imperative at the same time as a name
you know but what if you just went wait they're not summons
then then the whole world opens up they're totally summons though
you're summoning them next to you it so that they will stay no no
so that they will stand by your side no they're icons
they're icons don't you fucking yeah um i have a spoiler for you woolly
do you know where the term icon comes from 14
yeah well there you go exact spelling and everything
there you go yeah um it makes sense that more of the thing that is the most
popular thing they've ever done will bleed into the other
things they do but well more than that not even the
popularity just like the people who made that or the people making this one
well sure but i mean whatever crossover promotional event is going to
happen between 14 in this game is going to be like
fucking like probably canon you know they're all canon but like
the canon canon they are all canon okay well
it's just when they go back to their old universe they forget they no one talks
about it anymore okay that's the rule no woolly
disidia established the rule set that once you hop back to your old
universe you forget all the stuff in the weird
interdimensional portal portals make you forget person who remembers is gilgamesh
oh shit the portals make you forget every time
okay except for greg
uh is that is that his name for short yeah like nice good
uh anyway uh we got to see some of that
uh and then yeah uh everybody got mad hype
at bayonetta origins cereza and the lost demon
look man look platinum said well they said a lot of things they all they said
they'd never lose their luster a lot of things they said a lot but platinum
said this they said they're trying to work on
their own ip's not being second fiddle to like the guns for hire
shit that they do and they want to build that out and
one of those the one of the premier ones for them is absolutely bayonetta so
it's time to start building out the franchise right okay
well you see the decisions these fucking nuts
you see the decisions going into three and you're like all right
and then you see this and it's like all right um
it appears to be a story driven game about
cereza going through what i thought was johnson forests but it's not johnson
forest it's another forest um
we don't show up for the story yeah i was about so i made this point when i
because i was booing it when it when it showed up i was like actively
yelling the word boo we don't show up for the not fighting
and then when i when people are like wow you're really mad about bayonetta three
i'm like no you don't understand platinum stories are terrible
awful like all of them like if platinum announced a
telltale style narrative game fucking run for the hills like oh god like that's
the crazy part right like i i during the the you know the previous
eras and during like 101 and shit because 101
is light and tone we've talked about why it works right we've talked about how
it's it's not taking itself too seriously
and kind of aware of when it's it's being
ridiculous um bayo is kind of self-aware but i think
i've posthumously ascribed more self-awareness than actually was present
to those games because i think in retrospect they really did take them
seriously and believed in those moments that were
fucking clown shoes i want to raise my hand for a second
there i gotta stop you because as soon as we started saying that
platinum stories are god awful people go what about metal gear rising you mean
the metal gear rising that was written by etsu tamari known for metal gear
solid five the phantom pain and metal gear solid piece walker
okay metal gear rising was written by konami people
like what about neer like neer was written by yoko
taro obviously these like that like that that's such a stupid
comment it might as well be straw man that's not a real person worth
acknowledging that's ridiculous the stories that platinum themselves make
hundred people the stories that platinum make not the
fucking clowns um
no the the stories that platinum makes are terrible not good
they're awful just you know um you you again you take
you take them for what they are as they're cased in between
amazing segments of of gameplay and and action like
it's it's it's what it is um and again like i said this whole recent
bao experience has really clarified just how much i actually enjoyed the devil
may cry stories and like yeah no actually i've
had that exact same experience like i think of them more fondly in
retrospect now because i'm like damn i think i shat on them way too hard for
what they were they're way more coherent than i thought
you know when you just put them up against this um
so when we gotta now do uh a game that appears to be maybe a puzzle
combat i'm not too sure uh it just like just way to play to all of their
weaknesses for real you know it's the story book so the you know
the narrative being in storybook style might be simplified and thus
like the pieces will be too sparse to really like
fuck up but um i can't see myself looking at that and going yeah i want to
pay full price for that
feels like a whole price a side thing that's 97
dollars canadian feels like a side thing uh
80 hold on no that's the no we're not there yet
price oh we are no no no no we're not in the 90s
what's it called sarayza and the lost whatever
the fuck's it called bayonetta origins play through his cheshire
bayonetta origins i have a fucking game stop dot c a
i bet it's not i bet it doesn't have a fucking uh 62 47
uh 79 99 so the conversion it gets to yeah okay 80 so we're still at 80 canada
dollars which means 79.99 times 1.14
is 91.18 cents
all right well there it is
fuck off 92 dollars like if you showed me that and said it came
with the like it came out with as a pre-order
bonus you know or it came out as a
oh that's the meanest thing you could say oh fuck
oh that's so fucking mean i don't know man
we gotta i what are you what can i what do but what does it look like it looks
like a fucking pretty it looks like a thing
it looks like a little bonus thing you know you know what it looks like it
looks like it looks like the other project they
were working on when they took the xan elevator action game and rolled it
into bayonetta 3 as this can't this can be a whole game
god scale bound fucked them up man scale bound scale bound like came into
their lives and twirled them and fucking took them on a date
and wind and dined and they were smitten and then she fucking left and they
don't know what to do platinum got left on red
and they're just like hey hey hi good morning
morning beautiful hey and just no response
they babelans fall don't don't forget about babelans fall
oh man
boy okay when you when you know that they like they talk about like
the idea of like it's go time we got to get real we got to get serious we can't
fuck around money's an issue you know we we we had some
projects get canceled that were really expensive our plans got fucked up we
have to focus on our own ip's build our own independent state
you're like okay all that makes sense cool and then
like you'd lean into the shit that you're not great at
so here's we can't spend too long on this no no no i know i know i know i know
yeah but i do want to say something so platinum is made of people who left
capcom because they were unhappy with the way capcom
held the purse strings on their independent projects that never made
any goddamn money and what we saw with platinum
is that they then went into work for hire and the issue that they've run into
is that they have no money and the most successful games they have made on
every metric have been worked for hires by companies that gave them a bunch of
money and time to actually make those games really
excellent near automata and metal gear rising are
easily easily the best games platinum has made
with like a close third being the first bayonetta
now which is one that sega gave them all the time in the world to make but i
guess how profitable were those projects for them compared to
the ones that they completely control they're more profitable than fucking
babelons for was uh yeah you know i that's the
thing is just like if they're looking at the numbers and going
yes these these guns for hire projects are
what we cut our teeth on and they're what we make our bread on but
we need to actually start doing our own shit and i guess the idea is also like
if one hits big and it hits good then we're we're gonna be
you know we can let that flagship us but god like
then you have to go like you have to if you want to do that as platinum
you have to acknowledge that you need outside writers to come in
and do your stories like for you you have to be like
we're gonna reach out to fucking george rr martin
because if he's not if he's if george is
running to japan to not work on winza winter then fucking
get him or get yoko or get get anybody that's not in your fucking company
the to start writing for you guys then and you'll start to fix those problems
because i i think platinum is is kind of screwed
without oversight because um bayonetta three is a game
like let's i'm gonna be really honest bayonetta three is not a bad game
it's just not a great game right it's mediocre to good
right it wasn't it was in dev in their own house
for five years right they definitely had time to work on it
they said in 2017 it is an active development
and when you get to it you're like not only is this not the best bayonetta
game which is weird it also has like elements
that were just like stolen from your direct competitor
that came out a couple years into dev like they need somebody at the top to be
like no stop it or start doing this or whatever
because just giving them enough time doesn't help
there was a point in the in the uh you know in in uh bayo three
where it stopped being homage and i think there's a point where
you know like dmc five is probably not being
flattered by the imitation you know what i mean the
sincerest form of flattery does it use the same subtitle
font if that's the case that's really funny
it's just like is it sueno looking at the at looking at uh
fucking not cavalier and going like hey cool
they did cavalier you know it's not as fun to use
um i really like it though i really like the the
yeah it's fun it's it's great it's it's one of my favorites right now
anyway i i just think i'm like it's gonna take
you know it's gonna take a real sobering
honest look at yourself to go all right what works what doesn't
and i think as well like you know i get whatever the fuck happens in the rest
of this i still gotta beat it but the fact that i know that
that kimia had to put out a an article going wait wait wait wait hold on hold
on andrewthegiant.gif
whoa whoa whoa whoa hook over you know then like i know that
they're definitely feeling that their their writing decisions are not being
uh fucking applauded at this point so if you gotta go talk to somebody that
wants to collaborate on something that is not square but is actually
just a a writer that is a talented known person that
has that bandwidth and is looking for someone that's really good at gameplay
make that happen you know it's gonna it's gonna take
uh collaboration um it's gonna cost money or it's gonna
you know make it so that like you know whatever like i said
grim gets his cut whatever his cut is you know on elden ring he gets that and
that's what he did but be honest about where you're
at with that stuff you know because the thing is too is unfortunately
like as cool as astral shane 2 and wonderful 102
um would be i i think that they're looking at those as like
bigger gambles than something like bayonetta 3 which is
a huge name a huge known bit a huge franchise it's their flagship
you know um so they're always going to lean hard on that more than they're
going to go to the other ones which wonderful 101 struggled
you know um nintendo is going to support them
certainly as long as they stick around but like
yeah this rough shape is going to fucking just make their situation worse
if they don't i don't know man you know i would really really really like to
see a
a game as good as astral chain come out again from them
project gg that'd be nice project gg they got to calm down with the pacing
now
um hopefully project gg is not like uh it doesn't feel like the uh
just slow kaiju battles for eight hours to
20 hours straight willy i don't want to i don't want to really
but there are some parts where those cool kaiju battles come in and you're like
i can't believe i have to do this cool kaiju battle before this other part of
the level okay and you're just like god damn it
just stop it just again the ones that feel like the punch out kind of like
you know uh duels is there those feel a bit more enjoyable than the ones where
you're just a full 3d lumbering slow kaiju you know um anyways yeah we do
have to move uh so with that we can uh talk about
um ken levin's next game judas oh you mean bio shock not bio shock by
the bio shock man who crunched his team to the point where the company dissolved
no shock no shock at all i was wondering if the word
shock was going to be in the title i was shocked that the word i was here like
that that's straight up while we while it was going like from the creators of
bio shock and i'm like okay so what's what shock are we doing here crunch shock
no so i want to i want to point out
um i want to point out uh this is a ken levin game
and it is a tone slash cg trailer and as such i need to point out that the last
game that ken levin put out was bio shock infinite in which
literally nothing in any of the trailers took place in the game itself
it was all even the gameplay demos it was all
completely fake this sentence gets crazier and crazier every time you say
it but but like yeah yes like
every single thing that was ever shown for bio shock infinite was not in the
game
uh a gun was a gun was super a gun was fired and a hook line was
ridden on at the end like like those those things happened
you know only the sequences those gameplay
reveal slash demos work don't aren't real they literally were made for the
demo they were not in the game so the problem
the things work in those things isn't in the game
so the the problem now that i have to uh introduce
reggie to the concept of is uh the tone trailer
because as he's getting excited at the cut scenes in the cut scenes and i'm
like hold hold on now right there was at
least one moment where it was like uh hey i forgot
what game it was but it's like hey yo what do you think of this game so far and
it's like oh wait it's been all cut scenes hasn't it and i'm like yes and
then the last thing they showed was a in cut scene fake
gameplay moment tone trailer yeah you know and it's like
okay um you you have to spot that shit you can't
fall sucker for it i still think the ultimate
version of the tone trailer is the fake playing with your friend's
ubi soft experience yeah yeah yeah excitement that's nothing's gonna top it
oh good shot hey hey guys hey uh you know i'm gonna i'm gonna search this
place you guys you guys cover me out out in the front
like okay yeah i got you brother you you go in there
oh no i'm picking up something on the radar like oh my god go fuck yourself
but they lie because it works dude like they lie because it works well yeah
no everyone lies because it works why would you lie
because it doesn't work yeah and the thing is of course is like when
it's a tone trailer um you can put not actual
gameplay in the corner for the first five seconds
and then later when you cut to the tone you don't have to have that anymore and
then continue to lie to everybody
lying is good actually anyway so we going around like
every fucking trailer is like you are the last cum priest be
be blessed are the cum priest sure yes yes what do you think of cum priest
reckoning yes yes um anyway that that aside like
setting looks cool we'll have to see what the game is like
but as far as you know rendered ass introductions to your world go
uh judas is what it's called narrative driven single player first person
shooters what they're describing it as um sure
let's see more um more than the nothing
like it is a it is a like the trailer like a trailer like that to me is like
a flip through a concept art book right it that's exactly what show me what
your art style is show me what your backgrounds look like show me what tone
you're going for this time it's okay it's it's it's a flip through a
concept art book and then you press play on some headphones
and listen to some music and some acting you know
um yeah um all right so then we got to take a look at street fighter six
june 2nd 2023 that's so much farther it's really far away it's read it leaked
it leaked you know uh and it's sure and not only did it leak but it leaked
alongside uh good old sneeze face luke
yeah the the terrible boxer i will say though because uh
go ahead you and i are probably going to be able to play the game a day early
because uh influence which does create a
interesting situation in which i will be able to stream
street fighter six very likely fingers crossed on
zangief's birthday oh shit both zangief and zangief's birthday that's
incredible cool for that i every time i see a
street fighter six trailer i start yelling at them to show me my own dog
and they won't um i don't even hate the box art from a
like perspective of like oh like why is it luke or whatever because it's the new
guy that's why luke or why is it a main character just doing a pose
yeah i know the issue of the pose and luke is ugly it's just it's just not
inspired is what it is and i mean you know like
five was ryu doing the crossfist and like it was
white background you know black and white image with the red and
you know it was just it was it wasn't the most exciting but it was more
interesting um uh four with the chun lee was not
particularly great either unfortunately i just don't i look at this and i go
they showed off better potential box art for six
that included kimberley and jamie why not put all three
on the front you know it would have been way better
to just show the whole new generation the new trio
and like use some of the other examples there's there's other pieces
that are fantastic that could work as box art um get jamie and kimberley in
there you know uh yeah no only luke okay
well you know and this is and again this is like this is coming from a non
a not lucator you know i i uh i don't mind him but that shot of luke is
actually pretty bad even considering my dislike of luke
i feel like um yeah they've they've they they got other options and they've
kind of committed to this one which if they if the logo the first logo was
anything to go on the feedback it forced them to change the logo
maybe they'll do something between now and and release for that here's helping
you know fingers crossed like enough people clowning
on on a on street fighter street fighter visuals has gotten results
let's see if that happens again dj's back uh that's cool he's got the sway the
rockaway mechanic fat joe you know and then you uh you
fucking you get your um your max out with two projectiles
instead of one by default seems pretty fucking wild
so he's gonna do keng uh keng uh king style
uh venom strikes uh he's got a fake fireball
so instead of having him be an exact clone of guile where like he kind of is
zoning in the exact same way you got the either like either two shots big
commitment big lockdown or fake and then you get a nice
anti-air that's pretty cool the maximum pants are gone but
they're gonna be there in the classic form so you know you'll have the maximum
pants um but like the maximum pants are still like such a
great idea because they you know they read perfectly
reading as long as you read them vertically there are palindromic
visuals that the letters can be mirrored player one and player two side
and uh yeah his new his new sway mechanic is pretty fun
and um you know the rhythm game they showed off for in his in his super
looks like it's gonna be kind of cool too you probably have to time it to the
beat and do all that stuff that the the leaks showed off with the
announcing yay for that uh jp looks like he's going to be
um you know besides being a big old zaddy
he is the the original master of psycho power or the inheritor okay that
right sure whichever um he's a psycho power man yeah bison's gone but
there's still a psycho power man and he's probably q and that's the thing is
like he's he's either the inheritor or the
originator of psycho power but whatever his role is
um he also is coming in with that q and and g energy where he might be
like like the thing that cues are all over the world
you know doing or whatever it straight up could be related to him and what he's
trying to do he's wearing cues hat and coat um there's
big energy coming off of him with that and we didn't get to see what happened
with g as well like because there was no real like full-on plot for him
besides just i want to be the president of the world that's it the weirdest man
ever but he's great too power to the earth
light it up you know like he's great but uh jp
letter names as well there's going to be some sort of fusing of
bison's as a as a boss and the perhaps g q
illuminati maybe even things you know so we'll we'll see where that goes
um and uh he's another zoner which zoning is now
fucking good in this game so uh get ready to get fucking mixed and
schmixed um so that's all fun i want to get schmixed
um then we saw uh manon
who was this is the weirdest grappler ever well i'm just glad i'm so i'm just
i'm glad she's not girl able right she's she's really really not girl able
i'm glad that she's not she's she's her own thing
and uh she's lady gaga switching into her or seah
switching into her battle clothes between uh the intro pointing her giant
freak feet at you they're so big also like
they're street fighter not apologizing for the cake uh yeah no it's really out
of control her and chun li are just like
like unlike fucking double triple decker's going on when you pause the
screen on that shit it's wild um but yeah
french good old french french um uh reggie simping because her name is
manno and i'm like i'm not familiar with the name manno i never met any
mannos but i i knew a couple manno yeah but it's a very very uh classic french
name um seems like yeah i think it's bjj mixed with dance
so she's tossing you around she's ballerina shit
about okay yeah there you go um cool but like she's a grappler whose normals
like pull you in to grab range um yeah so i think i think she's
like hybrid because i don't know if she's gonna have like
more than just the main one you know but she's got the kick moves of which we've
seen at least uh two there's the there's the
you know the whatever not a plie but the fucking the jumping
black swan kick you know and then uh she's got the one that looks like an
uppercut as well uh and then like yeah we see the regular
and ex versions of her tossing you around and her her level three looks
like it's a big grab as well you know so um fear the grab
i'm guessing as well that like since you know uh it's like gief is always
going to have the 360s i doubt they're going to change that
but like others have not over time you know t-hawk as well has gotten it but
like they've tried to make it so that like people who are not gief don't have
to do full 360s like that's been a trend right now i can see hers being a half
circle then we got marissa uh six big lady
six foot eight uh 200 and not enough pounds
uh introduction is her man handling a lion
i mean what what more do you want from me
uh marissa more i i want marissa to fulfill the um like the boxer archetype
in terms of the the boxer archetype um so she was people were speculating about
her being like you know girl sagat uh definitely not girl sagat in gameplay
but in no projectile yeah no but um seeing some of her moves she did stuff
that was weirdly abigale reminiscent with the with the
double hits and she did stuff that was uh illuminati reminiscent so
that big lunging kick which is the um the chariot kick
is straight up a urian and gill kick um and the uh
yeah i suppose you're right it's it really looks exactly like that you know
um she's got an armored counter armored counter
right which it looked like it countered a throw it looked like manon was going
for a grab i'm not sure if it was a button
but um if it is a grab uh breaker that would be really interesting because
luke originally had an armor uh a grab uh an auto tech right he had a back and
heavy punch was a move called suppressor which would uh basically he leans back
and sways in and if you try to throw him during that you get extra damage uh so
or like he gets extra damage on you that is to say if this is a better way to
tech that could be really interesting for the mind games
um and then you get her doing charged armored punches a lot of the audio
things that the leaked with the the lines from the commentary
show um mentioned that she had armor so
she's gonna absolutely Abigail her way through a bunch of shit as well
especially when you see her doing a charge and then the big punch
the wall bounce you know um and then she has a um the double swing which is like
an uppercut and then a second chop down um that second one is an overhead uh
that was mentioned in the leak files as well so we do have enough with her to
know that she's going to be armor based and just you know she'll tank her way
through things oh i just realized that overhead is a
fucking urians standing fucking fierce um she has she has a bunch of shit that
looks illuminati right now though of course it's it's like urian is is the
you know like um that illuminati story doesn't have a ton to do with like her
with the the the roman um coliseum and the greek
gladiators and such you know she's from italy but she's harkening back to
greek descent and she has greek spartan like style uh she has a set she has a
Corinthian helmet you know she's got like a lot of that
uh gladiator energy about her so i don't really see how that would directly
translate across to q and uh rather um gillian and
urian but the moves are reminiscent you know i think the most important thing
more than any of these details especially at this early
stage is like so far they are at a 100 ratio of these new guys
are winners yeah the yaps ever love them love them but he's not a new guy no
they're all no they're all they're winners i'm i'm gonna stand by that
first statement um yes her hair also is cut in the helmet
Corinthian shape but besides her hairstyle looking like the helmet
she also has a real Corinthian helmet that she slams on the ground
in her intro uh so uh i in a like like historically accurate
like roman coliseum with a bunch of romans behind like what the fuck is
is the time travel well so this is the problem right where it's like
they're either cosplayers at fucking uh uh you know um um that fantasy dragon
restaurant where they go like they're either
in between rounds of like real gladiator combat
via time travel or serving you spartan burgers and greek yogurt
yeah you aren't yeah that's the one that's the one you know
like if marissa is like i harken back to the ancient
the real the true greek warriors and the only modern day versions of that are
the guys hanging out serving up fucking
suvlakis and spanakopitas then i guess we're gonna go hang out over there
you know i have to say also the trailer they put out that was the pre-order
trailer that showed off more of world tour
yes uh yeah you're gonna be making a custom character that can do
moves from other characters like you suspected which is going to be a freak
an unplayable unfair freak uh and also they showed off a bunch of mini game
stuff yeah look like shawn's parry game is back
fucking cutting bottles with your hand eating food with hadokens
yeah yeah uh that shit's i wanted as wacky and as dumb as possible man
lean into it absolutely uh i'm surprised they showed off
like these three characters and like one returning
uh i wanted to see marissa the most of that leak list
and manon was also way up there so very cool that they went for that
uh what's um what's teahawk sister's name i forget it's his daughter and it's
lily hawk lily hawk i want to see lily hawk
now i want to see what a tiny grappler looks like
yeah um so your one of your best examples that you can go to is ryoko
from world heroes where uh she just grabs the
shit out of you and she's super tiny makoto energy
based on the same judoka um from uh uh ryoko tani i believe from japan
uh there's tiny grapplers out there uh but yes she looks great
uh i want to see all of them man i want to see rashid you know and i want to see
more comics of jury shitting on cammy for not getting in her announcement
trailer out yet and cammy getting depressed because lol
i can't believe it one of the fan favorites getting ignored forever
it's extra weird because like footage of cammy came out like right away it leaked
super hard yeah yeah yeah uh in the meantime start your fan
art engines um fucking get to simpin uh those six foot
eight abs aren't gonna lick themselves
what
uh she big anyways all right all right all right three five or six
um
i uh you know uh right after that we got um
right after that we got uh tecann eight we got to see
i guess what john is alive again yeah actually
so here's the really dumb but like whatever thing is like
technically john has not been seen since tecann two
yeah sure she showed up in the tag tournaments because they're non-canon
that's different that's not can their dream matches it's fine
and her update her look changed and she had the sweater and she looked cool but
no it hasn't been her and don't worry about unknown
don't worry about any of that um no she's that she's back and all it took
was heihachi dying for her to be like i bet you okay
i bet you anything heihachi will be in this game
um i'm curious to know what possible insane reason they'll have for her being
sealed away you know like either she was fighting
demons on the astral plane um you know alongside uh uh kizumi
or um no it needs it needs to be i just left
yeah i was tired of the bullshit uh jinn uh i decided to not raise you
because you know what uh kizuya tried to kill me
and i said fuck this i'm out and i just said i'm leaving this stupid
bloodline behind and now there's some kind of
audio thing going off right now uh i'm hearing it on my end
oh uh one second people in the chat are also
hearing it on their end brb uh ready i think we should be good
so pissed yeah so did i nice uh so i'm gonna go ahead and say that uh yeah
so jun decided to show back up uh after quote unquote heihachi's dead
but here's the thing if you're like she was off doing something very important
we have to know well because because the thing is is whatever the fuck
like it made her reappear now she slept through the annihilation of i want to
say i think it's like one third the population of the planet there's like
a world war yeah jinn which jinn started which is why it's so baffling
because like the energy they're trying to come back around with is like
you know you can't root for any of them they're all fucking bastards they're all
assholes they're all toxic yeah and kizuya is straight
villain and jinn is like playing the role of like we should not exist in this
world and um um what's his name um swedeman anime
hair is going like yeah jinn i believe you
but jinn as the hero as if he didn't start a world war
that killed a third of the population or whatever on that planet he had to kill
that ice dragon sure and and you now you got to
fucking accept that it's like nah dude uh so whatever the fuck
jinn is going to come back and say or do she ignored uh a global catastrophe in a
world war she just she didn't want to be tied down
so she went running else alone done and now she needs money so she's going to
do the tournament no she doesn't need money
fucking paul phoenix needs money paul always fucking needs money
yeah but this time he's really broke though for real real
like like he's been busted as the in the his biker form
but this time he really needs it um era of american hobo fighters is
it's loud and loud and clear ken and and paul
working on the same construction site
um as law you know looking ripped that's all fine jack
uh has a move where he summons in a fucking
not just a hammer of dawn but like a big old robot knife from the sky just
comes down on you perfect excellent like shits wild
you know so yeah sure whatever the fuck this game's gonna be
you know let's let's see it um but i just i really hope that this story
doesn't just hand wave over uh the fact that
the hero jinn probably has a higher body count
than kazooia the villain
sorry about that um yeah no i was just i was just pointing out that jinn
probably has a higher body count than kazooia the villain ostensibly
oh jinn's the like ogre killed like individual people for fuck's sake and
he was an unironic monster like he was a monster man
and he killed like what 10 people nine if you if jun's alive
it's goddamn akuma all over again you know it totally is you're super right
as time goes on one by one everyone akuma killed
did not die and then he actually killed no one
you know go tetsu probably just like was kind of tired
and then went to sleep afterwards fuck
um yeah tech at eight was ogre good after all no
no
uh are you hearing a crackle again sorry i did yes
shit okay it was when it's when you shifted in your seat
hmm maybe touching the wire okay fuck
all right must be your wi-fi
brb all right i'm gonna see if this works uh i had to move welcome back i had to
move the um when min came over that had to move
around some mic setup shit so like something might have
that's totally what did it bro likely so otherwise this you know why that is
right all those wires wean you down
mm-hmm oh yeah i know you you collect collect wi-fi
dubs and i will collect your wi-fi dubs and go to
sleep at night on that i can't wait till we get another
fucking raycon ad i can't fucking wait
listening to your music has nothing to do with having a good connection to your
opponent unless my opponent is the music well
um yeah i don't i don't know anyway uh i've been i've
been fighting the music via my punching thing so there's that
oh yeah you've literally been in that yo vampire survivors now available on
your fucking phone might be the best that might be
the best stealth drop of it's out now i've ever seen
okay did you try it i did not try it i tried it
how is it hey it's better on a controller
yeah of course it fucking is yeah it's better on it's way better on a
controller but it works and it's there and um
it's interesting because they've format it to
it's phone formatted so you're seeing the up and down more than the left and
right and it's they didn't like wait what
like it's like not widescreen like like it's it's a hold up your phone
vertically it's vertical it's vertical that's so weird they
changed the actual format of the game they didn't just say rotate your screen
stage it's like left to right entirely it's vertical dude
so like they made it change it people are saying you can change it
okay you rotate it okay oh well i yeah i just i gave it a
quick try for one stage basically and i noticed that like in but like you can
play in vertical orientation and it all
works can i import my settings also my safe
um and like and it's weird because you see again you visually can see more
up and uh you know horizontally or more vertically
uh than you see the other way around which yeah for the library stage would be
horrible for a bunch of weapons uh where like
they bounce off at the edge of the stage like
you probably are not going to be able to plan your fucking
you know positioning as well if you are trying to time it with the
wheelbarrow and shit um i think vampire survivors on your
phone is like the most slam dunk shit in the world
yep it was the most ideal game to play on your fucking phone
ever um and of course yes while you can rotate your
phone then to get it in normal orientation
designing it to work in both is crazy um most of the time when you boot a game
up on your phone it'll automatically just rotate and
then you know to hold it that way but the fact that it stayed vertical the
entire time was like oh okay they actually put the work in to make it
go either way um yeah feels better um feels better
on um on on on controller no matter what but at least now
of course everything does at least now it's where it should be i will say this
though like the based on the way it feels with your thumb
it's gonna be really hard when you're at the final high level like crazy shit
going on where you have to make like very split second
dodges you know uh it's gonna get really tricky with
your thumb to do a lot of that shit i think the only game that might play
better or might feel better
i'm trying to think of the way to phrase this like yeah of course it plays better
with a controller right i can only think of one game that would play
not like there's a better way to play it with the controller and that would be
the new ultra kill update but i'm not brave enough to try it
okay yeah yeah i sure have oh fuck sorry okay i realize what's
causing the pop it's uh my mute button so this yeah god damn it this one broke
two ah shit two of these broke that's not the
phrase i wanted to hear this one broke
two so um i had another mute button back
on the other setup and uh it yeah it took a tumble
and then i guess is once once it does uh when you press mute it does a little
pop there shit okay well that's what that's what the
problem is all right i'll have to not mute actually
no this isn't gonna work i do it subconsciously i do it when i'm not
even you just touched it yeah but no no i did you were saying that
while i was no i didn't did you hear something while i was saying oh yeah
we'll crackle then yeah okay well the mute button is fucking this whole thing
up all right here let me let me let me oh this is great let me stop this all
right this is super all right i think we're good this time for real
reels um well you saved us from the curse of wires thank you
um actually it's not the wire that's the at fault it's the mute button itself
so the same though the wires have been preserved the mute button has been
extracted and is trashed by mute button
um what are you gonna do cough right into the thing now i'll have to cough
right into everyone's face just yeah yeah
you know the way it sounded before we had mute buttons
uh there you go nice
what's up on a time we used to just lean away and be like
fart fart piss you know so
um
buh buh buh buh buh buh buh uh what the fuck were we talking about um
yeah vampire survivors we're talking about techin no no we moved on hey i guess
what it's gonna be a fighting game with techin we moved on we're talking about
vampire survivors but that's okay moving on real quick because there's a lot of
other stuff um so uh earth blade from the creator of
celeste gets a new trailer gets a first look it looks like
celeste crossed a weapon so you can fight now
and the interesting thing is while uh celeste is great
and i look forward to seeing what this does the moment you can attack enemies
it now enters a different category whereas celeste was just a firm super
meat boy n plus style um platformer this is a
like this is now being compared to the to platformers with combat like hollow
night you know yeah no instantly so that's rough
yeah so you're like okay now we have to judge like the moment you have a
character just do this with a sword there's now a combat system we have to
think about and judge you know um we are you
going to feel better than dead cells how are you going to feel like castlevania
how's it feel better than castlevania in dead cells
yeah you know like we have to judge your combat now
because one character stuck a sword out and it hit something
but it's still clearly about platforming uh did you notice the lack of
strawberries i i vividly notice the lack of not even one
not even a single one there you go that's for you thanks man
thanks um yeah and again shout outs to uh the studio
extremely okay games that's that's great
oh wow 2024 yeah that's that's far away
jesus they're gonna take their time why bother even announcing it
i guess just to let people know you know um but for something like that
if you're spending that much time on like polish and shit like you want it to be
like level tested in every possible way like they're they're
they're doing it um exploration is the genre
sure uh okay and then exploration um i mean just like i'd say in terms of
shit worth talking about uh the fucking spirit of marvel
has once again shown his ugly head this time possessing
some weird kid who got up and stood behind
uh the from soft team accepting their game of the year award
politely waited for them to finish and then leaned into the mic and started
talking some weird shit about uh his reformed
orthodox rabbi bill clinton and just nonsense word just total word salad
complete word salad and then you know then the security uh
got him and then he got arrested and whatnot the idea of course that like
this was uh allowed to happen slash they didn't catch it slash it could have
been so much worse that's the part i don't get right
because like the kid goes up there to shitpost
ha ha gets arrested for his trouble yada yada but like i i'm watching it live
and so did everyone watch it live right and most people had this moment of
like why is there a child on stage with the from
software dev team is that one of their sons translator maybe
something no he's in the background waiting what's going on
and they're making space for him but they're not looking him in the eye or
acknowledging his presence so maybe he's like how did that
how did that just play how did no one who's i think you can tell from you
can just look at him and be like i don't think he's on the
elden ring dev team yeah i think socially everyone just kind of assumed he
was supposed to be there because he blended in
with the four guys standing in the background as if he were supposed to be
there by the way for everyone at home if you want to sneak in anywhere just
pretend like you're supposed to be there that's it that's it that's literally
the entirety of social engineering like you pretend you're supposed to be there
most people are going to be like yeah probably like of course
yeah sure there's also there's also so there's also
like variations of that my personal favorite is if you're two guys and you
need to get into anything hold a ladder
just literally the two guys hold a ladder and and uh hi viz vests
yeah just walk vests plus a lot vest plus ladder
two people holding it you're you're clear through all security
there's a there's an old variation of this
uh back in the 60s it was the stanley milgram obedience experiments uh where
you would shock people uh at various degrees yeah the famous one
yeah all it is it's like you would not believe what people will do
if you wear a lab coat sure if you put on a fucking lab coat and hold a clipboard
people will damn near do anything you tell them to do
and you know you yeah like in the context of instructions are being given by
somebody that clearly knows better than me
yeah uh yeah it is it is wild so in this case
again everyone including from soft just went like yeah
i guess he's supposed to be here you know like they might have went like
maybe he's the next presenter and he's out of place
you know the security went maybe he's with from soft he's lost
child and and the end result is uh it could have been
anything way worse than what he did oh he could have said anything
or done anything yeah so um fucking the and and you know like
he could have done anything like pull out a controller and challenge them
to the true the true final boss match in marvel 3
chris g you may have won but you didn't win until you fight me
and my question was when they arrested him
did us did a spirit like a poltergeist escaped through his mouth
flow into the sky to find a new host to possess with the ghost of marvel
oh man damn man he lives he lives he did an am a apparently
i'm sure i don't i don't particularly care but yeah
i think i think it was like what the fuck why did you do that and i think all
of the answers were just like yeah lol i think it was lm
lol lmao i believe lmao was was part of it too
actually uh yeah so um all right idris elba joined
cyberpunk 2077 another celebrity i like idris elba
he's cool he's doing the capture he's in there
um and and um you know maybe
now keanu Reeves is thinking fuck i wish i got on second instead of first
after they tightened up the screws and shit i would like to see i think keanu
Reeves is playing in a pile of puppies right now
maybe i would like to see idris elba interacting
with uh edge runners characters
and i think they'll turn into that just just swerve
um and and also yes the i mentioned it earlier but they had a multiplayer
cyberpunk game that they can so that they could work on
fixing uh the yeah that's a good hey making two bad games is not nearly as
good of an idea as making one good one you know
uh q donnell glover good yeah i'm i'm gonna be going over but i'm
gonna try cyberpunk out i'm sure they'll make it a good game eventually
apparently it's a good game now but on the docket for improvements is a
complete rework of the entire melee system
so i'm gonna hold off until that same that's that's you mentioned that a while
ago and i'm like that's a big one that's what i need to see
speak literally 30 of any way you could interact with
any character in the game speaking of melee systems uh Jedi survivor
shows a trailer off coming out in March has a melee system where you hit a man
with your lightsaber and he goes fuck ow a lightsaber
ow no no no this time he goes ow two lightsabers
ow ow ow a big lightsaber out yeah that game looks good
yep apparently the the gentleman who does the acting for the main character
is a fan of the show so hey man oh cool turn lightsaber off when you're talking
the buzzing is too loud uh did he say it was going to be the
the best Star Wars game ever yes i believe he did i think he said that
and uh it's funny because yeah like it's not impossible everyone's like not a
high bar it's not like there's some good Star Wars games but
even the really really good ones are significantly flawed i mean look at the
end of the day i have to admit that like as much as i don't think you're gonna
beat crea you have to patch that into being good
dude even even with it all all fixed up that game has some
fucking holes man it just you know you gotta you gotta get the fucking
the band-aids and the masking tape out and then it becomes the greatest ever
but uh yeah no um sort this looks good looks cool
i liked what i saw uh fucking more of that and
um
yet another game respawn is making that i isn't Titanfall 3
sure um and you know it's always cool to to
i guess like jump in time and even though i don't know uh i haven't played
the original i know they they mentioned that like this is like five years later
and so that's what the hair is about and stuff so
cool um Diablo 4 it's Diablo 4 come in
Street Fighter week actually June 6th 2020
Suicide Squad killed the Justice League the one thing about that when they're
playing the trailer and i was like oh yeah right it's the uh that Suicide Squad
game and then Batman shows up and you're like god
fucking damn it Kevin Conroy shit yeah yeah so this is going to be his last
game yeah um you know and uh alongside that actually
was uh just a side note there was a story this week
there was a canceled Michael Keaton Batman film that we heard about
it was absolutely going to be called Batman Beyond
oh they were doing it they were doing it and they fucking
cowered it out or more likely they they killed it in the middle of
killing off all the other WB shit because they're trying to
bro that's save money they were fucking doing it dude
i don't like that worst timeline worst timeline
he was on board they were going it was happening
it it's just it's all right there man and i still think Pattinson would have
been perfect you know yeah i agree i still think
he would have been great as terry so fuck
um so blah to that uh but but but but but Mario footage
saw more of that looks fine god chris pratt is awful
everyone's working their best everyone's doing
doing their best and they're working hard so terrible
shout outs to the shout outs to the cast um
not you not you yeah but you know the thank you for not you
or not you doing a great job um terrible terrible uh
horizon forbidden west burning shores uh dlc announced i'm sure um we're gonna
find out so it's coming out 420 or 419
um uh i feel like this is uh them announcing that the
elden ring dlc will be coming out the following week
who knows perhaps um the burning shores i still think horizon zero awards is the
funniest thing in the world pretty good pretty good um
there was a point where we were struggling to get the names correct and
i believe uh the next step was horizon montreal north
but uh sure sure sure you know whatever that means um
and then chris judge can go up take the award and then everyone can have that
moment where they're like hey man let him talk you know he's worked hard and he
earned it uh okay uh-huh what
trickle down economics i think what is the funniest part
there's two things about that that were hilarious right as they start playing
the music to let him know to fucking stop
and he didn't stop of course my music is so loud yes
by the time he he gives like it's so loud it's it's threatening to overpower
him classic classic oscars and then the second
thing is like he's thinking the staff he's thinking the director he's
thinking sonny he's thinking his kids i'm so glad to be a father
and then he just doesn't thank his wife and
i was howling howling and did you see his tweet later
yeah i saw the tweet the tweets like of course i thank my wife
i think i watched they played me off before i could but they totally yeah
dude you talked for like 10 minutes yeah yeah yeah
that that big man getting the shit and it's funny because the whole thing with
like you know oscars and grammys and emmies is that like
you can have one of those moments especially if it's like a big the bigger
the category the more you get um in terms of goodwill
and you can have one of those moments where the where you go
no you ain't playing me off yet i got people to thank that we i worked hard
for this i worked hard for this you ain't gonna play me off like that and
everyone's like all right all right yeah you know and then you get one
and then when you double your time and lap yourself
and everyone's like oh my god dude now you're just an ass because other people
are now losing time on theirs yeah because then we got to like the halfway
through the night we're like devs we're like oh thanks really and like as soon
as they started to talk the music would come in because they were like
super super late on time a fucking you are now a jerk when you cut into
other people's shit you know i'm kratos
we need al Pacino to take 10 minutes to get what he's trying to say out
what the fuck are you doing you're gonna kill us over here
dunkechino struggling so yeah um they did it they they moved they caught up
shout out sonic frontier uh the frontier of
zero acknowledgement whatsoever um
and watching that shit where like he's talking about like oh after we cut out
all the bots yeah you know these are the awards or whatever
and i'm like i i it it's like all sonic fans
aside being like like wild it's it absolutely
fucking should have gotten something soundtrack related with that what they
were doing with uh frontiers there nomination um
you know wild on that um i wanted seafood to win best fighting game
unironically like i i i i did i wanted to it needed to happen to
underline how absurd this whole thing is um
crash team rumble for before multiplayer thing
sure um i was uh i was like yeah i guess i
crash team fortress or crash monday night combat whatever you want to do with
it um seems fine
uh it's a mober space marine too
yeah we knew about that mm-hmm more that new hellboy which as long as it's fine
yeah it looks no the art style looks cool because it actually resembles
the you know the comics um that was a cutscene which is a good start yeah
i'm just traumatized from uh uh fucking hours of qa
spent on the the psp and 360 versions of those original games
which were right to be so not fucking good
um crime boss the game that is not a rock star game
but looks so fucking fake it's why you see this the cast they're going with and
you're like okay 505 like what's the budget of the actual game
because um michael madsen danie glover kim basinger
danie trejo vanilla ice chuck norris michael madsen looked like someone told
him there was cocaine out on the stage
hollywood's having a rough go they're doing they're doing it they're trying
you know um and uh again kim basinger you know
she uh she hit the mcu so she's not you know we're not in the 90s anymore
but uh still no they're they're pulling a cast that's probably half the budget
if not 70 percent of it um i don't know who asked for lords of the
fallen too but hey uh it's not lords of the fallen too woolly
the name of the game is the lords of the fall excuse me excuse me the
predator the alien the yes worst the worst dude the wolverine
that that is that is that is yeah yeah the probably the best of the of the
the reboot conventions the
just forget about that first game because it was fine
it was it it was it was okay it was i asked i asked the universe if if it
was uh if it was better than mortal shell
and they said no it's not better than mortal shell
that's crazy because that game has problems it does
um anyway last of us what part one for pc
eternal announced for pc um last of us part one is is like just i don't know
how many times you release and re-release that fucking it's becoming
sony skyrim balder's gate release window yeah
august
yep uh first patch nine is coming out in a few days do you know what patch nine
they won't tell people what's in it it's gonna add 30 percent more to the
game's current file size nice good um they also
this is a bit inside but i'm sure you recognize minksk
do i that trailer do you not familiar with minksk
perhaps not okay so uh the guy crawling out of the mimic with the with the
purple face tattoo that it was like is that kratos
what is that no that's that's minksk from balder's gate one and two
he is the guy with the hamster boo who he yells at to go for the eyes he's
voiced by jim comings
um uh he is still alive by the way jim comings he
i hopefully it is still there um also there's another character called jahira
that is in that trailer which is another balder's gate two character
which balder's gate three was gonna be this like hey remember balder's gate
we're gonna make a new one but like nobody thought they were gonna
continue the actual characters and story of a
fucking game from fucking 98 so i was curious as to whether
and i'm like have mimics always been a big deal in balder's gate
no because like there was a whole lot of me yeah i guess
fucking it's a mimic um cool that's minksk rules man
he's a really excellent fighter and seeing him in the game
lands a lot of like that's good voice talent
like like there's there is a not insignificant possibility the
drizzed will be in this game
that's result yeah blades and fucking panthers
let's go because you hung out with him in
fucking two yeah i forget i forget that like it's
actually official dnd like canon show it's the forgotten realms
campaign setting in my brain i was just like oh it's that other setting but
yeah um okay for spoken got a demo that's
available now yeah it looks honestly dude like like
after we get past all the whoa that happened
then you kind of go yeah right agnese philosophy looked cool that looked
like it was going to be a fun game parkour plus magic sounds like a great
idea um just you also now have to do parkour
plus uh magic plus uh he's right behind me isn't he
yeah and i wish bayonetta would say it's right behind me isn't he
well uh transformers reactivate whatever some live
action trailer shit i don't know um whatever
banishers ghosts of new eden um i can't remember what that is
that was um that sounds fake that was the don't nod one with the with the the
viking looking people that was like oh don't nods
doing a thing that's not life is strange oh that was the
that was that was um that was uh a rise of the
come priest okay sure that's that's sure yeah that's that's
that one right right right and you know i mean look
man it like they made remember me they made life
is strange and then they fucking swerved into a completely different
direction uh vampire came and went and um you know
why not uh ghost hunting banishing 1695
uh then what did they show they showed um
uh immortals of aviam which was like there was one for one second it was
first person and then the hands cast like a blade
a blue blade spell on their on its fist and regi's like mass effect
for like yeah yes regi it's like yes it's mass effect for there's a
there's a glowing thing on someone's hand clearly
just i mean like you got it you've like you've never airballed harder like
burn like it's wild uh but god bless dude god bless
keep trying uh remnant two uh that game that first game was
way better than uh it felt like it should have been
so that's probably going to be excellent uh but do we have room for more
schluders yeah well that's that's dark souls with a gun
oh yeah okay yeah it is it's called a schluder
yeah well it's it's it's like play it and like yeah you get guns and they have
random stats but it's dark souls with a gun i mean
gearbox themselves called it a loot shooter you know gearbox calls
everything they fucking make a loot shooter
um blue protocol which i guess i'm like is this the answer to um scarlet nexus
i don't know but it's blue anime instead of red
um you mean not horny genshin impact made by amazon games correct yeah
oh man that amazon games logo came up and i'm like oh wow that's gonna die
this is not real kill that is this ever coming out i guess it's coming out
there's things coming out zero for ten at this point keep trying
like
yeah but just keep just keep paying me and then keep trying
um castlevania cross dead cells why not
yay no gameplay that's gonna work but yay i i'm assuming level textures and
weapons are just gonna be fucking whips and
you know crucifixes and music and such you know
just drop it in the way zelda dropped into necromancer
sure uh valiant hearts uh colossal cave uh wild hearts right
sure um sure there's the fire emblem dlc
uh call of duty modern warfare uh destiny to lightfall
sure uh dune the mmo uh survival mmo has said
sure all right well among us hide and seek not among us too wow not among us
too they're coming for you dead by daylight they're coming for you
again i i that among us two that was planned i bet you they fucking
deleted that shit right in the recycling bin and just bad idea yeah yeah just as
they started getting heat um horizon call of the mountain
sure and yes last but not least indeed the sex update was made to
ultra kill with butt plug dot i o support allowing you to play ultra kill
with a remote connected vibrator or butt plug
which vibrates alongside the action of the game now ultra kill can give you the
intense feeling of being a world famous chess champion who apparently is going
to be suing magnus carlson uh because he does it because uh the slander of of
that that story so we'll see where the story goes
uh in order for him to sue that he would have to prove that magnus carlson
knew he didn't have a butt plug in his ass when he there's a lot there's a lot
that would have to be proven and uh it would be the court case of the century uh with exhibits
so we'll see um
your honor i present the anal morse code chart
you like you got a fucking behavioral scientist in there to like examine his face
it's like you can see he's being sent the signals now
the average person has a vein uh pop on their forehead when they kegel hard enough
all right let's take some letters hey if you want to send in a letter send it to castle super
beast mail at gmail.com that's castle super beast mail at gmail.com
we got one coming in from uh no it says there willy and pat question what do you do
when you want desperately to enjoy a game but you can't grasp the intended play
and there's little to no online help uh our word core no answers i was so thrilled to see
armored core six's trailer that i decided to pick up where i left off on for answer
couldn't really remember why i fell off and it didn't take long before dozens of times
to test next with a cramp in my hand so that i remember that i literally can't play this game
i love the mechs i love the world the music and to a certain extent the controls but i'm physically
incapable of overcoming all but the most rudimentary of challenges i know you've bounced off of games
due to goblins community etc but what about just playing raw difficulty ever been a time when you
just it was just too damn hard to get into yeah i just don't play it um i was gonna ask like does
armored core have um control settings on easy that you know take away functionality and make it simpler
i have no idea absolutely no if it's if it's straight up a skill issue are there modes that
are like stylish easy operation you know uh tell me a story nothing it's a from soft game after all
yeah uh i'm not surprised to hear that from soft is you know they're not really they're not trying
to fucking ease your way into it unfortunately but um that's it that's all there is to it yeah i
just stop playing i play something else usually my exact emotional state after that frustration
is i go play follow fancy i would probably honestly if i really was those determined i would probably
look up like the different armored core games and see like which had the most control options
and see if like there was a an easing in methods brought it for answer if it yeah if would it be
yeah okay boy damn i don't know i don't know
um
Netflix has just nabbed the live action adaptation rights of the manca
my hero academia from legendary entertainment that's cool
let's see it let's see it in american high school
with powers you know what like i need to hear an announcement like that and then the second
sentence is we hired this famous youtube stunt team to make it and you're like okay cool oh yeah i
know the guys yeah just just i know those guys netflix has acquired the rights to thing and they've
handed it to youtube stunt team we got a guy with the backpack yeah exactly yeah backpack guy great
no problem kill it fuck just just just what just hand it hand it off please um yeah king vader
there we go fuck yeah good shit man um and then yeah the other question was like said about the
the bad beginning middle or end uh so uh let's take the last one over here uh from crank who says
dear lupin green and pat ren ugo
hustler scam karate bugman edition you read the subject line so here's the story
shun skei takasugi was a japanese actor having roles in gamera sequels and several detective
dramas but most is well known for but is mostly well known for both uh in japan and japan overseas
for playing the lead in kamen rider super one like most actors tied to toku he was pigeon
holed pretty quickly so the opportunities for work dried up over the decades uh as showa era turned
into the reign of heisei and then into the reign of neo heisei sometime in 2003 it was reported that
from takasugi that super ones henshin belt was taken by legitimate businessmen and that he needs
money to get it back for nine years fan sent him donations to try and do just that and by 2012 he'd
gotten about 50 million yen aka 450 000 us from all of that a year later the courts decided to
investigate his report on these legitimate businessmen as he called them uh and they called him to
appear in court of course he did not show up he had one more public appearance in 2014 and then
disappeared entirely in 2017 and hasn't been seen since hustler scam you fucking tell me
i think that's pretty easy i think that's pretty clear i think there's not much decision on that
one the the judges aren't out i think that dude died the way that story reads is that that dude
got disappeared due to bad debts uh uh like step one is turning to the fans and telling them to
send you money uh yeah that that's already leading towards scam now don't forget uh you can subscribe
to woolly versus and you can even donate if you click the button down below um so and you'll go get
your missing rider belt from legitimate businessmen legitimate quote unquote businessmen uh i mean
like like there's a part of me that like i wish there was a way to like like this dude
fucking he was a cabin rider and then he had nothing going on and then he's like i'm gonna
do what little i can with this this fandom because he was probably still going to conventions and
sitting at tables and signing shit you know so in the meantime just like circuit yeah so basically
so basically like a virgin of a virgin a version of him that's like virginal from wwe you know or
formerly uh that's just like setting up tables everywhere virginal superstar shaking you down
for money like i feel like there's something there's something kind of funny about that hustle
but uh when he actually made close to half a million dollars and then ghosted the fuck out
nah that's that's clearly a scam that is a scam that's that's the easiest one we've seen so far
yeah well i mean obviously cabin rider super one more like cabin rider ghost
all right you get a b for effort all right we're in an a yeah that's fun we'll call it there
all right have a good one everybody
you