Castle Super Beast - CSB 215: Threaten That Infant For Tick Throwing
Episode Date: April 18, 2023Download for Mobile | Podcast Preview | Full Timestamps New Death Metal Shirts! http://tinyurl.com/CSBshirts Jack In! GetWrecked.EXE! Strangers of Paradise: I Want Uniques, Not Rares Vampire Su...rvivors DLC: Bootleg Bayo Banner Must Never Be Replaced Ganon Rehydrated, Everyone Else Gets Thirsty Normal Parent? Or White Parent? Watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/castlesuperbeast Go to http://factormeals.com/castle50 and use code castle50 to get 50% off your first box. US Taxes Holds Back Xbox Fan From Claiming Lifetime Game Pass Subscription Prize ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ Spinoff Series ‘Knuckles’ at Paramount+ Sets Cast, Including Adam Pally, Tika Sumpter SEGA Is Buying Angry Birds Maker, Rovio The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom third trailer. "Do not look away. You witness a king’s revival…and the birth of his new world.” Donna Burke accidentally implied a Snake Eater remake Dead Space Demake Street Fighter 6 may support partitioned downloads for various modes Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League officially delayed to February 2024 An IGS collection of 8 of their PGM arcade games is coming to Switch tomorrow in Japan? Including online play?! Martial Masters
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Donkey Kong Game of Thrones
Hey, good afternoon, good evening. Good morning. Hello. What up?
Non-committal. Non-committal. Hello. Oh my god. I just saw. God damn it. I look so much older now
than I'm a dad. That is the worst comment I've ever seen. I look so old. It's my birthday this week.
I'm such an old man. There you go. Hey. Help. Yes, that's what's happening. Oh god. Happy, pre-lated.
Oh, I'm so old. See that new fucking... Twitter's turning into goddamn Facebook. It's like,
hey, what game came out when you were 18? You see people posting Devil May Cry 5 and you're like,
I should just die and turn into dust. I mean, yes, but also you're allowed to let it set in now.
No, I don't want to. I don't want to let it set in now. Okay, well, you can fight it. You know what?
I will. I will. I'm gonna get hair implants and lifts. Get that crisis going. Full speed. Full speed.
Oh, man. So what's up with you, man? Not much. Yeah, no, there was a proper week of stuff, I suppose.
The common denominator is going to... Well, hold on. I haven't seen Mario yet, so... I also haven't seen Mario yet.
Gotta find some time to get that done. Haven't done that yet. So that's out of the way. But congrats to
that for making all the money in the world, which... Wow, who'd have thought that the character more
popular and well-known worldwide than Mickey Mouse would make a shit-zillion dollars? So Mickey Mouse
is for the, like, tenth time supposed to lapse into the public domain in a couple years, but...
Oh, no, it's much sooner than that. It's within, like, eight months. But they fought it back
so consistently over the years that they managed to stop the law from applying to Disney. Disney
has been one of the single-handed, like, people, groups that have forced the 100-year public
domain law to push back its restrictions, and they've kept themselves in the gray for a while.
How are they not gonna just keep pushing it? It's gonna be very strange because
they fought it back our whole lives. Literally. Like, I remember being a child and them fighting back
on it. So it used to be, like, 50 years... The numbers are wrong, whatever I'm about to say,
but it used to be 50 years, and they used to be, like, 80, and then it had to be, like, 80 after,
like, the death of the author or some shit. But usually, when they would, like, get the copyright
shit pushed back, they would get it pushed back, like, five years ahead of time. They'd be like,
oh, it's coming up in a couple of years. Better, let's better push it back, right?
Now we're, like, literally one year away from the copyright on Mickey Mouse
falling off, and Winnie the Pooh already went. Winnie the Pooh went, and there's nothing they
could do about that, and that's why we got the horror movie. When you do a quick Wikipedia,
it says Mickey Mouse was invented in 1928, but that can't be right, because obviously,
we're not in 2028 now. Well, yeah, no, but it's... There's a death of the author functionality
as part of this now. So what year are they using? I think it's, like, counting since, like,
fucking Disney died. Okay. Or some shit. But I just... But I don't see how... If they've been
fighting it our entire lives, I don't see how they're going to stop fighting it and how they're
going to stop being successful unless people just kind of go like, okay, it's enough, we're fed up
with this. But I feel like enough money is changing hands that they're allowed to just keep fucking
buying their way into, you know, prolonging it. It's probably too late now to get it started on
Mickey, because like the length of time that, like, court shit takes. But the way that I'm, like,
interpreting it as a non-lawyer and just general jackass is that there's only so far you can push
it before, like, before bribing the judge becomes too obvious. You would think, right? You would
think, but I just... I'm reminded of how over a decade ago, I first heard about this story
and how they just kind of went... They just made it go away forever, you know? I don't know, man.
I feel like they might just, you know, drop the ultimate amount to make themselves immune entirely
or create some sort of loophole that only applies to them permanently as opposed to just a temporary,
you know, like, okay, you get a few more years on the clock. But at the same time, if there's a
judge that's getting paid to be corrupt in that way, they're going to want to make sure those checks
keep coming in. So it's interesting to say because, like, Mickey Mouse, well, it's only Steamboat
Willie, Mickey Mouse. Steamboat Willie, yes. Only that version. And for some reason, trademarks last
forever, but copyright doesn't. So you may not be able to say, hey, it's Mickey Mouse, but you
can pick him and use his voice and shit. But what's going to get really, really, really zany?
I was looking this up the other day because of the rolling, like, you know, copyright lockouts.
There's a lot of stuff that's really, really close to fucking, like, coming up,
like Batman and Superman and Spider-Man and, like, every, like, old, golden age comic book
character. Culture. They're all up for public domain in, like, 2031 to 2035.
A lot of that culture is from just about exactly 100 years ago. That is, that is coming back around.
Like, I think it was, is Captain America and Batman specifically are both, like, 2034?
And I'm just like, is that why? Is that why Marvel's going forward super hard with all the
B tier shit ass characters no one gives a fuck about? I mean, no, the other, the obvious reason
for that is because you get to create a bigger following where people had none. The Guardians
of the Galaxy are the biggest success story of no one cares to everyone cares. So keep making that
money. Yeah, I feel like you can just put that on James Gunn's shoulders because he did the same
thing with Peacemaker, who's, like, a Z tier loser. Yeah, that's, I mean, that's the, the, the,
back in the day, I should say, like the comic book runs, I remember, a lot of the time there'd be,
like, oh, a writer has a really fun idea for this one obscure ass character from the Silver Age,
and then there'd be, like, let's see if we could bring that back and do something interesting with
it. Doing that on a cinematic level now pays dividends for decades, you know, so it's just a
good gamble. And not to mention, of course, like, if someone, again, if Alan Moore says,
hey, I have an idea for Swamp Thing, you're gonna fucking give it to him, you know.
Is it that Swamp Thing is a disciple of a snake god?
He's Alan. No, but he kind of is a rival to a snake god.
Good enough. Oh wow, who could have thought, oh my goodness.
Yeah, no, and I know that in Canada, we have different copyright dates as well because
James Bond was made. James Bond, yeah, so. Legally free over here. Yeah, you could make
and sell James Bond novels as long as you took reasonable steps to, to make sure they were
only sold in Canada, which that was like two years ago, which was an absurd concept even then.
You can't, you can't. Lock it down to Canada only. You can't do that. Get out of town. Yeah.
Anyway, all this to say, I guess that was, what was that off of? Oh yeah, that was off of the
the Mario discussion. This week, Common Denominator, Mega Man Battle Network.
Mega Man Battle Network? Oh my goodness. Yes. We both had very interesting experiences with
Mega Man Battle Network. Quite a few. In fact, I mean, hey, look at that. A couple other people
played it online as well. Like it. What? That is a, yeah, we were, got a sponsored stream and that
was a collection of like all the games, one to six plus all the duplicant versions. Yeah.
So before we continue, I should mention I like to make the distinction because there's sponsored
streams and then there's sponsored streams. These were those types of streams where they hand you
a big bag of money as well as a bunch of talking points. So keep that in mind as we talk about
Mega Man Battle Network. Yeah. I decided upon the first time the word jacked in occurred,
I made a decision and I decided I'm going to play it straight. It hits. I'm going to play it
straight and that's what I did and it kept coming up and I just put the sandbag shield up and we
just went right through it. How'd that go for you? So bad, really bad. Like the very first thing,
the very first thing Mega Man said to me when I booted the game was, are you all ready to
jack in super hard or some weird shit and I lost it. You know, first impression.
First of all, hey, the fucking huge thumbs up for letting you turn off that filter.
Oh, yeah, of course. Yeah, you got the massive spray filter on or off. Good deal. You got the
pet voice on or off to navigate your main menu if you want to as well. Also, the insanity that is
like, hey, online play is now a thing. You can do it any time before you had to get your Game Boy
and plug it into your rivals and sit there and do the classic matchups. But now it's interesting
because it's pretending that you're meeting, like you go to the same option you would to play
somebody next to you, but it just kicks you into the online system. But now it's just like
fight anyone at any point during their adventure with whatever deck they have.
Yeah, apparently that's how it worked. Jesus Christ. Whatever's on your file.
So this is where we get into the conversations about balance and all that stuff because
what fucking balance? You make a decision early on where you go, there's two things we can do here.
We can try to make a game that is like viable in some way for a competitive thing or you make a
game where you take your fun little online deck and you go challenge other people and see what they
did and who the fuck cares, what's the balances. I watched the match you played of Battle Network
6 in which you chose your cards and then you were killed before getting control of your character.
Dead. I have never seen that. I've seen like the, you know, you've seen the equivalent of that,
like you play an old man in pool or like certain like magic or like Yu-Gi-Oh decks,
if they get like they could go into the start. I've never seen that in a video game where
you, correct me if I'm wrong, you did not get to control your character. I did not get control of
my character. The match started, the first card that the opponent played, well before the match,
he went into some devil trigger beast form and then immediately did a super that killed me
and there was never control of my character whatsoever. So if you want to play this shit
PvP, it is, it is as broken as you can make it, just go for it as hard as you can and it's kind
of hilarious. So I always, when I, when I, the comparison point that comes to mind despite what
something they say is obviously Pokemon because Pokemon is a game where you raise your little
monsters, you customize them. What are you talking about? How I can't, I can't see any similarity.
You know what? My bad, you're right. Anyway, so did, so did you play red or blue?
Do you play white? Did you play battle network 3 white? I played white. I did play white,
but between red and blue, yeah, I kind of skipped over that one. So yeah, I don't know.
Did you play Beast, Psybeast, Feral?
I don't know. I played Mega Man Battle Network 3.
Okay, I played exclusively for my stream. So no, the whole bit with like
Pokemon, I remember you would like, you know, you customize your monsters and you have your own
RPG character and then you can go and fight other people regardless of whatever strength or level
they're at. If you, because the playing against your buddy in front of you is like a novelty in
and of itself or was at the time, right? And when it got further along, there would be things like
I remember in Pokemon Stadium, that was the first time I saw they go, okay, every Pokemon is standardized
at level 50, right? Here's a couple moves and here's an attempt to make a balanced fight.
I remember when like I was in elementary school was I don't know, it was early high school and
kids were like playing Pokemon and like there are a couple kids that were like,
I'm going to make a team. Oh, these are my favorite Pokemon. And then there'd be like one kid that
like I fed my Charizard 80 rare candies. Yeah. And then they would just sweep the board. They just
fucking sweep them because even four times super effective would, it doesn't matter as a billion
HP. Of course. And it's been game and then again, IVs and EVs and you just game the whole thing to
bullshit. Yeah, there's and there's an acknowledgement there where even if you do have those modes
where you can, everyone gets a level, same level Pokemon or whatever,
the whole point of what, what are you trying to sell to the player? Is it the ability to
take their custom experience online? Then then you cannot balance things, right? And this go and
this is also where where souls games go with their multiplayer. It's like, yeah, in many cases, they
only they only edge off the most completely absurd use cases. Yeah. Soul memory is one way of creating
large folders that you fit into of power. But for the most part, you kind of go, if I'm adding PVP
to my game, is it so that people can have fun with their wild shit or so that they can have an
actual fair match in some ways? And then on top of that network has chosen option one option one
and it's also poker. Because even if you're playing with option A or B, there's still an
aspect of, well, I got a royal flush. So before we even start, I win period, no matter what you
bluff or don't bluff, you know, doesn't matter. I won. I got the I win hand. Yeah, built in.
It was quite hilarious. The PVP in battle network is hilarious. That's how I would describe it is
hilarious. Also, also, you lost. So I'm taking a card. Yeah, you fucking you pay the cost matches,
of course, but nobody was in that. So I have to play for real. So I loaded up battle network three
and overall they're fairly charming little RPGs with the card system. I think it's one of the
first of those to make the card like real time battle system kind of thing like it might predate
chain of memories. I don't know how that plays, but yeah, well, cards, but the actual gameplay
is real time. Yeah, let me let me see. Definitely one of the earlier ones. Network one is when
and fucking people and people in the chat are saying it predates chain of memories. Okay,
so it'd be the first one that cool. As a result, I was playing third one granted. It's the first
time I've ever understood that battle system. The the the you the real time rotate through cards.
Interesting. Okay. Yeah, you all you can always move and shoot, but your extra shit is all up to
the cards you pick. Yeah, like I understood it intuitively faster than I did like say the spire,
even though that's not real time. Yeah, interesting. Okay, of the idea of like, oh,
this keeps coming up. Maybe I'll like when you start in battle network three, you have a lot of
sword moves, but you don't have a lot of ways to actually get close. So I would swap them out for
any cannon moves that I got a hold of because like, oh, I'd like to see cannon more often.
And it was intuitive. Like I got it. And it wasn't fast. Like one step from Eden is a blitz.
Like it is that that is for people that have that have cracked out on the battle network
formula and need Marvel. Exactly 100%. That is that is battle network fans that want the ultimate
like next level of that and then in a PVP context with duelists from Eden as well.
Yeah. And and also that have been starved for battle network content for years.
You know, but this original thing, yeah, is just action game. And then here's a couple
actions on top of it. You've so you've never touched it prior then. No, never. I had never
seen it. Wow. Interesting. Okay. Never seen it. Okay. I had touched it a little bit, but like,
yeah, never really went much farther into the game than, you know, the intro or so.
I put a couple hours in really charming, cute little like small scale RPGs, like you have
your town and the of the network. And then the network is like, you know, fairly basic looking,
but it can go anywhere. Right. There's one thing that really, really dramatically stood out to me.
And it ranged from hilarious to baffling, which is I had heard these games did not have the best
translation. I can confirm that these games do not have the best translation,
okay, particularly for somebody who was like reading out dialogue. Okay. The games
abject refusal to correctly punctuate sentences. Like, you know, after a comma, you put a space
refusal. It refuses. So like, I'm reading it and I'm like, I'm all the dialogue coming
out of my mouth is sounding off and weird. Yeah, the punctuation is messing me up. Yeah,
we caught like three or so spelling mistakes, I think, but I didn't see any major punctuation
things, but there's definitely some misspellings loosely throughout the two, three games we looked
at. So it's it's really strange because as this awkward like mid 2000, like not very well translated
dialogue with like super HD text, updated HD text, and it's just it's just baffling. It feels like
a fan translation. Have you have you ever seen the anime?
No. Okay, because that was on TV for a while, specifically like Teletune up here, I want to
say, or maybe it was YTV, one of the two, but it was that that that aired at this like while the
while the game was out, so it kind of like amplified its popularity, I want to say.
And, you know, and so I'm like, you're talking about reading these lines out and I'm like,
I don't know what these characters actually are supposed to sound like according to their their
voices in the dub. But yeah, I'm pretty sure this little girl with the receding hairline
is supposed to sound like I can't see any other way of her talking.
Oh, you mean like Captain and Mega Man?
Captain and Mega Man crossed finger puppet.
It's gotta be the the eight head. Yes, exactly.
Yeah, but but you know, I definitely also was like one thing I do appreciate about
Battle Network, one, the cool name and convention in Japan, which is rockman.exe so sick.
Yeah, I wish they kept that for America, but whatever for the kids.
But also like I like yet another thing of us going, I wish Mega Man wasn't named Mega Man.
But I always liked how the designs were updated versions of the old robot masters
into a like kind of like, you know, more closer to like Mega Man Zero kind of aesthetic.
And then it would also slightly cross into the X world as well.
You know, so it was kind of like redesigns of all of the things into this one new kind of way.
It was it was a lot of the designs are sleek and fun. I like I like looking at like
an updated Gutsman, you know, updated Proto Man and stuff like that. And seeing where that got
by the end was like, oh, yeah, this is what peak mid aughts kid action figure designs were about.
Like just a spike beast with just spikes everywhere on it. Like that's a toy.
That's a sticker on the back of your fucking trapper keeper. That is everything a kid from
2007 wants. And I knew at the time as well, whereas like, yeah, Mega Man has always proclaimed to aim
for kids as like its target age group. But the difficulty of those games has never been for
kids. So you've been fucking lying forever. But now the Mega Man, it actually is the director
was on Twitter earlier today. He's playing through the first game, the first time in like 10, 15 years.
And he's like, whoa, what the fuck? Who balanced this? Oh, oh, it was me. Yeah. Yeah. I'm switching
off after fireman.exe. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. But but at least you can see the demographic
target on those games more than you could back in Mega Man two or three, where it was just suffer,
die suffer to Mega Man one feels like a trap. Because it's like, haha, look, it's a little robot,
man. Here you go, kids. And it's like Mega Man one is brutally, brutally fucking punishing.
They're so lucky. The music is so good that you can sit there for hours and listen to
it. Mega Man battle network. The music is so good. Great. It's great. So good. But just you
want to fight this dragon, you better learn how to jump on these fucking blocks and memorize the
pattern, idiot. What? You're too young to memorize the block pattern. Fuck off. Four years old.
Shut up, then. Oops. Time to go back to the start. I can, I can barely read. Did you write down
the password? Start over. What? No. I'm still working on my letters. I'm four years old.
Yeah, it just, and so I just, I remember the anniversary commercial of Mega Man, Mega Man,
Pew, Pew, Pew. And I was like, you, you children never, you never could have dreamed of completing
a single one of those games. How dare you? Yeah, it was a fun time. It was, it was cool. I also
appreciated that, at least so with six, well, with each one of the games, you could go into the,
the online, and there was like a download extra cards for bonus stuff, whatever, you know, like.
Yeah, it was download, because they had event cards like, like Pokemon. And there were 400
and 99, which I cannot explain to you how annoying I personally found reading that. Really, there
were 499 fucking event cards. Are you kidding me? But they just, for fucking real, they just let
you jump on a little HUD and like download whichever ones you wanted to, so that was cool for like,
hey, I just want to go online with more variety right off the bat. That was fun. Can you imagine?
Hey, here's a, here's a re-release of Pokemon Emerald. Go to this kiosk and download any event
Pokemon you fucking want. Just, yeah, right here. Want Darkrai? Fuck it, here you go.
As someone who wanted to taste a little bit of like, what customization would be like,
you know, right off the bat, I appreciated that. That was nice. And then you could also go like,
oh, no event cards on multiplayer, if you want. Although, then that's probably how that person
got so strong right after the game came out. They're probably using event cards. Yeah, they
stole some of mine, too. That's, you know, that's what it is. But the other thing, too, is each
of the game's features, ultra fucking one hit KO mega buster mode, which is just like, do you just
want to delete fights from the game entirely and like, blast through the story to unlock everything
as quickly as possible because you're focused on the multiplayer or getting your save back to
whatever it was or yetiata, then just turn on that mode. And it's like, tell me a story.
Because like in the, in the, in the little, you know, the talking points, they're like, hey,
make sure to turn on buster mode, show people how buster mode works. And like max buster mode,
that's what's called. Like, okay, so I turned it on and then I fought one fight and turned it
right the fuck back off because that is, that is a, Hey man, I'm having, I'm having some trouble
and I'm an adult. I don't have time to grind this shit out anymore. I just, can I, can I just shoot,
can I just shoot my way through? Yeah, there's 10 games in the collection. If I'm like, I played
these all back in the day and I just want to get to one thing, you, that's fine. You should be allowed
to be like, yeah, let me just get to the one thing I really fucking love. So let me just
blast right through to it. I get it. It's a skip button. You know, I, it's, it's, it's, you're
selling to people that, you know, have some nostalgic love in their hearts to the, for this
franchise. So absolutely, you know, it makes perfect sense to me. The games are definitely
charming enough and seems like good enough that even if you were not particularly, like if you
didn't know about them like me and if I had the time, yeah, I'd dive back into it. And, and it's,
it's, it's a, I did get to see like some of how complex that builds up over the course of the
series because you're seeing some boss fights in like the, yeah, three and beyond where the dodging
patterns starts becoming like a bullet hell ish, you know, like it's like, there is a perfect line
of safety at everything else's death and you've got to just be on that one in a way that is actually
very reminiscent of Everhood, right? And, and like, it's like, okay, yeah, they really made the later
games do some bullshit dodging and whatnot. So, you know, that that's, um, yeah, anyone who's like,
yeah, fuck this, let me just move on or, or, or whatever, get to the, get to the multiplayer
focus. I get it. So, but yeah, pretty, pretty, pretty cool collection. Um, seems like everything
that a battle network fan would want, except for network transmission, the Gamecube platformer
side scroller. Well, that's, that's a completely different, I mean, that's a Gamecube game. That
is not a GBA game like all the others. It was, but it was forgotten. Um, I don't know. Maybe
that's, maybe that's up next. Who knows? Probably not, but in any case, yeah, battle network
collection, one, two, three, four, five, six, all versions, yadda yadda. It's one, two, three,
three, four, four, five, five, six, six. I think. Right. Right. I think.
Um, yeah, not bad. Not bad. Hashtag sponsored. Hashtag ad. Hashtag sponsored. Hashtag ad. Hashtag
FTC, uh, uh, admission of regulation content. Hashtag. Capcom has sponsored a stream of mine
in the past. So has Square Enix. Hashtag go to go to nexus.gg slash woolly versus to buy a copy
and I'll get a kick back on that.
Uh, I don't, yeah, whatever, whatever. Um, uh, no. So there's that. And then, uh, for me at least,
I'll be about tetramaster. Yeah. So fucking
it's, I want to talk to you about tetramaster. It's kind of amazing. Right. So final fantasy nine.
We've learned, uh, I've learned, of course, triple triad love that game. Beautiful. Uh,
I don't think they've ever done a better thing at that company, uh, than triple triad. But,
you know, um, here's, I hear good things about 14 and maybe 16 is going to be cool. But as far as
I'm concerned, triple triad power gap, the final fantasy series, regardless. The worst thing about
triple triad is that you have to play fall fantasy eight to play it. I mean, just bars. Right. So
so now, uh, tetramaster, which comes right on the heels of triple triad. And I'm like,
what is this game? Is there like, yeah, man. Yeah. Oh, you pick up some cards and you see a
card that has arrows on it. So you're already like, Oh, okay. Diagonal attacks. I kind of
think I understand what's going on here. And so your introduction to it so far was like,
the first thing you, well, besides the little VV intro section, the first rule board is like,
Hey, um, we don't really know the rules, but I think the first number is an attack and I don't
know what the second ones are, but anyway, I don't know. And the game is like doing a thing
where in game, the rules are a mystery. Yeah. That's an odd choice, but okay. And you go in
and I'm like, all right, so fine. I've done this level of like, it's a bigger board. You got to
put cards down in a way that again, you compared to triple triad, but you can attack diagonals and
you build it. Yeah, sure. Fine. What's up? Okay, sure. And then it's a bigger board. That's the main
thing I can understand right now. And then stuff starts flipping. And then there's, there's blocks
that are like blocking certain positions on the board and yadda yadda. You're like, okay, I attack
that, that should flip. Sure. But then as soon as an attack occurs, invisible numbers show up.
Yeah. And you're like, where'd those numbers come from? And what, where, what do they mean? And
what, what was that? I'm watching, I'm watching it right now. And a number comes up between
two things is like 21 versus four. And like, where did the 21 come from? Where did the four,
they're listed as zero on all marks. And so there's a secret HP that the card has.
And they're like, oh, okay. So there's a little bit of memorization involved. Fine,
I'll have to memorize what my card's HP is to, when I put it into play. And then you play it
again, and then it changes. Oh yeah. And then the amount that it does against the thing that it's
facing off with changes. And you're like, wait, wait, what are these numbers? And then someone
explains the games like, I don't know, that actually what you're looking at are just dice rolls on
every battle from zero to 16 for certain tiers of cards, I suppose, and that you have no control
whatsoever over whether or not your play would be successful, even though the strategy of the play
was most of your input. Like you make the right call and putting this good card with this attack
and this coverage on this position. And then the game goes, yeah, that's cool,
but you both rolled bad dice. So fuck off too bad you lose. And then there's a fucking flip system for
when it's going to cause something else it's facing to cause a chain reaction,
which you strategically start going, I'm going to save up my good card to do to cause a flip over
there. And you play it and then you say, oh, but you lost the dice rolls. So and it's like,
you fucking took triple triad and said, okay, but no, we can't make it the same though, while
eight was being released or in development at the very least, because it had to be overlapping to
some degree. And you just added bullshit to it to try and make it slightly different.
I've beaten FF nine like three times. I have never been able to understand how to win a game of
of fucking tetra master. I can't like, I can only imagine that they went, let's start grabbing
arbitrary other rules to try and make it different. Right. And I think the, the battle where you put
down yours and I put that mine and then they, we roll is something like out of risk where dice
might determine what's going on. And you're kind of wondering, oh, okay, did they try to go for
risk based level of like tactical place, but it's like, no, but risk also has a giant thing. And
there's so much more to the game that having that little aspect to it, it makes, makes sense.
Because you're like, okay, if you, if you have more soldiers, you can roll more times, whatever.
But I'm like, are we supposed to just be crouching down in the back alley,
putting down tetra master cards and then blowing and rolling and then Ashie Larry shows up and we
shoot him below the belt because that's attempted. It's not, he avoids an attempted murder charge.
What are we doing? Like, why would you take a perfect game like triple triad and then add
shit to it and then try to just to distinguish. So triple triad is actually massively expanded
in FF 14. And everybody knows what the worst rule is in triple triad. The worst rule you can
ever get in triple triad is either random or chaos, aka the rule sets that remove your control
whatsoever to control what you're actually doing. Right. Tetra master looked at fucking
triple triad, a game that is like solvable because the rules are really simple in FF eight.
Right. And they went, what if we just fucking threw all sorts of bullshit in it and you never
know what's going to happen? I'm so fucking disappointed because not only do I love
tetra triple triad, but like a good parallel game to be played in alongside your adventures is so
much fun. Puzzak is the shit. It's kind of bullshit, but I learned to love and have fun with Puzzak.
Right. I'm super down. I'm sure I'd be way into Gwent in the, in the context of alongside the,
the, the regular adventures of, of Witcher. Gwent, Gwent doesn't have like in-game rewards,
but it has its alternate storyline. Interesting. Gwent storyline. There are Gwent tournaments
that are quests that your success in the quest is like, well, did you fucking win the Gwent
tournament or not? Interesting. Okay. Um, okay. Blitzball is kind of wack. I'm not going to pretend
it's not like kind of disagree with that, but that's a conversation for later on in this same
conversation. But it's ball actually secretly rules, but I just, if there was not the immediate
predecessor to tetra master to compare it to, to make it look so awful, it might have stood a chance,
but dear God, do I just not want to play it at all? So, but I want to play more to understand
how wild and dumb it is though. I want to lab it to know how stupid they made it.
Well, there's parts of tetra master that you don't even fully realize
are truly awful. Step one, you remember in Final Fantasy eight, you could turn cards into items
and you would lose the card, but you would get the item. Okay. So that could break the game,
because if you got certain really good cards, you could turn them into like 99 hero potion.
There's one card at the end of the game you can get turning into 99 hero potions, which is like
a minute of invincibility for your characters. And you just fucking roll the rest of the game once
and so like, Hey, look, playing triple triad made me stronger in the game. Cool. That's a nice little
bonus. Do you know what the reward for a tetra master is? It's nothing. It's nothing. There's no reward.
You get nothing for playing. No, nothing. You get to keep playing tetra master.
Okay. There's, there's no way to get your success in tetra master out into the game.
Um, and, uh, remember, well, do you remember when you were playing Final Fantasy eight,
you know, ages past, right? And you were like really enjoying tetra master, sorry,
triple triad. And you were like, you hit a point of the game where you're like,
well, they're forcing me to play triple triad to get through this part of the story.
But, you know, at least triple triad is good. Yeah, it's fun. It's a really fun game because
that didn't happen. I've tricked you. There's no point in Final Fantasy eight in which you are
mandatory forced to play triple triad. It's going to be, it's going to be the game that goes on to
exist outside of fucking eight in the app form in 14 and all that shit.
You're telling me though that nine forces you to play it at some point.
Mandatory. That's okay. Well, uh, one, I remember shit all. So there's that. But second,
is this going to be something that they gives you a reward in nine then? Because if you're
saying it gives you no reward. No, you don't get a reward.
Okay, to win either, but they force you to play it. So it's this weird. It feels like
somewhere point in the game. They're like, play testers aren't playing enough tetra master. So
let's, uh, let's make them. Well, tournament does give a reward. Oh, I would not know. I've never
won that tournament. Oh, okay. I'm so, I'm so confused, but all right. Well, all I'm going to
tell you is that if you start playing New Vegas and just stay away from caravan, that's all I'm
going to say. Just stay away from caravan. They force you to play this. They force you to play
Blitzball at a point. Yeah, you know, you can actually win that first Blitzball game.
Uh, the first one with the shittiest team ever with the crusader or ox, you can totally win it.
Okay. I, I do again, shit memory, but like is I, do you have to play the tournament at
the very minimum, right? Like you have to play. Yeah, no, in, in, in the very first games you play
in, in 10 or the tournament. Okay. Anyway, um, yeah. So, so tetra master easily could have avoided
this by simply just being triple triad at home with some sense of control over what you're doing.
Literally all they needed to do was like, you know what's one thing about tetra master? I do
like the four on four grid instead of the three on three grid. That's fine because it makes sense.
I'm like, okay, we're playing more cards. Sure. Like, okay. Like even, even at the base level of
just, we took, took triple triad. We added the, the full eight way attack and, you know, and then
the bullshit to the board and da, da, da, da, da. But the same premise plus a, let's say like a
single digit strength for all attack sides or something, you know, what the game appears to
be at a glance, it would have been like, yeah, this is inferior, but sure. I'm not, I'm not upset
at it, right? Um, it's, you know, you play, you kind of, anyway, whatever. It's just that one
little, that little extra level of it that is just, there's hidden numbers you have no control over,
which I'm just, I can't, I, when is that ever a good idea? I fucking hate that. Listen, man,
when it came time to add card games and board games to Final Fantasy 14 is extra content.
Triple triad was right there. Here we go. Triple triad and FF 14 and said,
hey guys, we're going to add another card slash board game to FF 14. That's right. Mahjong.
The words tetra master graced no one's mind. All right. Ever. Um, okay. So, hey, uh, devs,
future advice, a future advice, yes, advice back in time, uh, uh, to the, to the late nineties,
mid odds. If you are struggling to create a fun mini game, uh, and you don't know what the fuck
you're doing, just put fishing, just make it fishing, fishing mini games, simple, easy,
press the button, reel it in. It doesn't even have to be active. It can be as passive as fuck.
Look at, look at persona. Look at Yakuza. Want to hear, uh, you want to hear the, uh,
the crazy one? Apparently tetra master got the, was the one that got the play online version,
but not triple triad. Wait, what? No, there's a, there's a triple triad, um, app, uh, phone thing
on the square, whatever. Yeah, but not back in 2002. It wasn't. Oh, way back then you mean. Uh,
okay. Okay. Well, anyway, they had a service cost. What the fuck? It was discontinued in 2010.
Yeah. Um, that, that, that's a wild downgrade from what came before.
Oh, it, it was FF 11 players could play tetra master if you paid an extra dollar a month,
but you couldn't play it against other people in FF 11. It just gave you the ability to play it
in its own app. Fucking piece of shit. So yeah, I, what I have is the final fantasy portal app.
And yeah, no, that was many years later. That was, that was like 2015 or something in 2016.
Okay. Okay. And within that is where, where it's where you can play it. Okay.
It, it might be like the strongest mini game downgrade of anything I've ever seen in ever.
Turbo triad is universally beloved and tetra master is like, get out of my face.
Like, hello, human resources, please mini game downgrade. Hmm.
Hmm. I feel like there's someone like on the tip of, like, I'm like, Oh, totally sequels where
they fucked up the thing that was really fun for a really dumb reason.
In a mini game context.
Oh, I'm seeing some folks say that Blitzball from 10 to 10 to also meant the same fate.
Oh, I've never seen Blitzball in 10 to, I don't know what that's like to have Blitzball.
Really? Interesting. Yeah. See the, the, uh, yeah, I was wondering, like, didn't Sonic have anything?
Right? The chow garden, the chow garden, possibly the, the Mortal Kombat stuff,
that there's definitely, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. You know what's funny though? It's always
the same thing. It's always like we wanted to make it more in depth. But all you did was
make it more complicated. Mario Party got weird. I like, I played the first few a few times and
then like, was out for a long time and came back in with one of the later ones. And I was like,
what? Like, there's two, there's just too much happening. That was just too random. And I know
the whole point is the random, but like, it just, it kind of was, it like, I, I couldn't get invested
at any point. Mario Party has no basis in reality. Like the beginning ones, there were, there were
still bullshit and they still had bullshit stars. Uh, you know, but I'd play bumper balls and have
some fun. And then you'd like, just peel the skit off your, your fucking hand doing, yeah,
just right off the middle of your fucking palm. Um, but then you start seeing like just the later
games with the amount of bullshit going on on the track and the amount of rewards. And then the
stuff, like it was too much. It was just like, I was like, I don't know, man, play yourself game.
It just, it didn't feel fun. You know, it got way too in its own ass about, about the random reward
system. The times that I did play Mario Party, I got, I came to the end of games feeling like I
might as well have just rolled one dice at the very start of exactly. And it just told me if I
won or not. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. Uh, it was just too much, man. Anyway, um, like the illusion of
control is not even there. There were like, because I remember when like Bowser revolution was like
the wildest thing, you know, and then you won up that over the course of like five, six, seven, eight
entries. And I mean, to some degree that happened with Mario Kart as well. Um, I, I, you know,
but people seem to still really enjoy Mario Kart with the Mario Kart, you know, the new tracks and
the bikes and the yadda yadda and stuff. And some items are probably just complete nonsense,
bullshit, but whatever. Um, yeah, party just felt like it just, I, it became unplayable to me. I'm
like, I don't know. I don't, I don't want to do this anymore. Um, and the mini games not being as
fun as well as another thing too, right? The mini games need to be the stars of, of the, the, the
board game so that you're looking forward to them, not the board game being full of all these
fucking upside down twist turns, whatever. And then the mini games, when you finally do get to them,
they suck, you know? So I will say one thing because we started this off on Tetra Master.
Hey, at the very least, Tetra Master sucking a piece of shit doesn't hurt as bad because it means,
oh, I'll just get back to playing FF nine sick. Yeah. Um, like in, in, in, when I was playing
FF eight, I ran into the issue, like, I'm sure you remember this with the draw system and you're
like, Oh, I can only get weaker when I fight. Enemies are leveling with me and I can lose resources.
So I should just not fight anything. Oh, but I'll play triple triad. I'm not, I'm not, I can't go
down this draw junction road. And again, I'm not, no, but that's it. Right. But in file fancy nine,
Tetra Master's trash. What do I do? Oh, I'll just do some random battles and then Steiner and
Vivi will learn two or three new skills on their equipment. Nice. Um, yeah, I, uh, the game outside
of, outside of Tetra Master's, it's going, it's going all right. And, uh, I increased my, my steal
rate to be a guaranteed 100% and that has made battles much more fun. I did not know you could
do that. Uh, it's, it's an option up top on the Moguri mod. And, uh, yeah, why the fuck not?
You know, the game, the official re-release comes with cheats anyway, right? It actually
has like battle off mode or fast forward or skip, skip battles, whatever you want. So yeah,
just put that on great, spend a turn or two stealing. And then we don't have to play this
dumb game of percentages. I'm of the opinion that, uh, steal command in a game that is just
about getting an item and isn't about de-powering an enemy should be 100% every time. And the game
should be balanced around that. Uh, and then there's always the spend a turn to see what's in the
inventory to begin with. Uh, lots of fun doing that as well. Uh, yeah, no, it's one of those bits
where I'm like, I'm okay. I'm turning this on and unanimously everyone's like, good, correct.
Um, I think, I think the only like steal, I'm like, yeah, okay, it's percentage is something
like tactics where you're stealing the item off their person. Oh, okay. When you, when you steal,
and I like, when you steal a weapon off a character in tactics, they don't have it. You pulled it out
of their inventory. So they, they suck shit now. So you also like really hurt them like, okay,
I can understand why that would not be 100%. But everything else now, fuck it, steal it, steal it
now. Um, yeah. So that's, that's, uh, simplifies that problem entirely. Um, and, uh, yeah, you know,
not much to say until we, we get a little bit further, but game simple, game good. Seems,
it's, I just, I keep getting blown away by how beautiful like this mod is though, like,
my God, the backgrounds and the, the, it's, it just looks so great. And I hope that the,
um, Elgato capture is doing it justice because like on screen, it's, it's fucking glorious. It's
so, so nice. What's wild is that it's, it's like, it's just kind of recreating on your, on your
HD television, what your eyes would have done for you back in the day on your CRT television.
There's a great Twitter account that does that. They show you like, if you played Metal Gear Solid
one on, um, a modern's monitor for the first time and you didn't play it back on a CRT,
you missed out on what these portraits looked like, you know, what back in the day or even
well before that EMSX portraits as well on Metal Gear, Metal Gear two solid snake and stuff. Like,
there's a lot of, uh, uh, the blurriness and the little vasolining that going on back in the day
that like the artist would compensate for so that when it came and hit you, when it hit your eyes
off of the CRT, it looked better than if you perfectly emulate it. Yeah. The, uh, the, the,
I follow that Twitter accounts called CRT pixels. There you go. Um, and the best one they ever put
was like the portrait of Dracula from Symphony of the Night. His red eye is in actuality a single
red pixel. However, somehow the CRT smear causes it to be like this very detailed red eye.
Amazing. It's like, how? That don't make no fucking sense. Yeah. Like right off the bat,
the, the pinned tweet, I just went to it. The pinned tweet is, uh, some screenshots of like
Contra, um, like, and then it's showing off, uh, uh, uh, uh, link to the past and Street Fighter
two with the Ryu intro and super and like they just look so much better with the scan lines on
and like it's smoothing over some of those edges and stuff. Like pixel art is beautiful, too.
It is crisp form, but the, the goddamn Dracula thing I'm talking about. So if you're listening
to this anywhere near the, the airtime of this podcast, you can go to my Twitter and see it.
I'm sending it to you, Woolly. It's astonishing. Yeah. Yeah. CRT pixels, great account and scan
lines could do with somebody who knew what they were doing. Amazing. Um, anyway, FF nine continues.
And, uh, yeah, a couple other things going on as well. So, uh, this week we celebrated the
indie fighting game festival. Uh, so that was on Saturday, uh, the whole weekend, actually,
and over on steam, there was a page for it. Didn't push it as, uh, that aggressively because
sometimes where it wasn't on the front page and, you know, whatever. But, um, if you go over to
steam, I think up until today, I believe is the last day, like every indie fighting game
like up there is all like huge sales, like 60% off in some cases, like wild, wild discounts,
tons of indies that are like really cheap as well. So best time to get in on any of, um,
these fighting games that I've been playing over the years on, again, fighting games and stuff.
We, uh, decided to do a little variety stream, uh, and just jumped on because, uh, you know,
I do a bunch of indies every now and then. In this case, I just did a gauntlet of like,
you know, five or six that I hadn't played up until now. Um, there's some fun stuff. So we
played a game called, uh, dare, D A I R, which is down air attack in smart smash lingo parlance.
Yeah. Yeah. And, uh, all that game is, is you have a platform, you have a character that can
jump and you have one attack. It's your down air. Uh, you can dodge as well and grab a ledge, but
really just how's your fundamentals? How can, how's your movement? Double jump, down air attack,
slide, down air attack, like whatever you can. And, um, it was pretty fun, but it was just,
it was extra hilarious because no matter how much, uh, uh, Reggie tries to bury the inner
fucking melee kid inside of him, it's going to come out. It's forever. It's going to come out,
right? And he uses that his tag used to be chat for Chester and just, if you, you just, you watch
him, suppress it, you watch him, push it, just try to not acknowledge. And then you do a little
bit of edge guarding and you have one of these little like, Oh shit, sequence. I spike you down
and all of a sudden he's back. Like, oh, and it just, it just comes out. It's like, yeah,
you don't, no, no, no, no. Yeah. The, the first flame was reignited. I just, you, the melee is
forever, man. No matter what, no matter how many years go by, you just, the, the whiff of a space
animal and, and, and you're back to that fucking competitive era. Jesus. I wasn't expecting that.
Indeed. Don't, don't give him that whiff, man. Um, so, uh, there was dare, uh, which is also,
we found out the sequel to Nair, which is neutral aerial, aerial, of course, separate games. Yes.
They were. Are you serious? Uh, yeah, yeah. D AIR and N AIR. Oh my God, they totally are.
Yeah. There you go. Um, I didn't know I was jumping into a legacy. Uh, we played,
what do we play? We played something called hype rainbow core hypernova,
which looks exactly like it sounds. Um, it's just a wild rainbow and colored fighting game,
which black background and like aggressive, bright designs on things. Um, and an acapella
soundtrack, like, you know, like Doug, remember the music in Doug? Yes, I do.
It's like that. You pick a skateboarding character and then like some little like,
like skateboarding acapella rap starts happening. Like, yeah, I got my skateboard.
I'm going to kick flip on you, man. Yeah. What? And, uh, it, uh, it was pretty funny. It was
pretty. All right. Um, and you got like all the characters are just named after a color.
Red is a protagonist with a sword. Blue is a mage with a staff. Green is a big grappler,
you know, and that's it. It was just a simple basic color themed fighting game. And, um,
it seems like that's going to be coming at some point soon, but I think this was just like an
access demo. Um, and yeah, seemed all right. You know, uh, it's mainly about the aesthetic.
Um, and a generous cancel system, wild combos, all that jazz, but not too bad. You know, uh,
we took a look at, uh, 52 beat up. This was a really fun one. So, you know, the card game 52
pickup, uh, this is a fighting game based on the idea of, uh, 52 beat up, which is you play a fighting
game, you pick one of these four characters in it and they've got some basic moves, but every
round you lose a card with a busted, unbalanced ability goes to, uh, the winner goes to each of
you, but the loser picks first. So I lost the first round. I'm going to get a card that makes
my specials like always ex versions, like better versions of themselves. And, uh, I pick that
first. So you're next year, you get second pick and you get like, uh, I don't know, a little bit
more life or something. You know, it's funny. You mentioned this. It's not exactly the same.
It's, it's not, you know, there's some obvious differences, but there's, there's a, we were
talking about mini games that, that changed for the worst later. I'm thinking of one, and this is
the 52 beat up is reminding me. There was a call of duty mode used to be called gun game. I don't
know if you've ever heard of it. No, it was the best mode call of duty has ever had because it's
really, really simple. It is a, it is a 12 person free for all. And you start with a pistol,
everyone starts with a pistol and upon killing someone with that pistol or assault rifle or
whatever, you rotate out to a different gun on the roster and you have to stay with that gun
until you kill somebody else. So everybody is fighting and constantly rotating their shit.
And the second to last one is a sniper rifle. And then the last one is a knife.
Oh, you have the same rotation order. Yeah. Okay. And so everyone is just rotating through
their bullshit. And then, you know, 52 beat up kind of reminds me of it because of like your,
you die. So you pick the new one. It's like, if it would be, it would have to be a bit more
random to it though, because there's a skill to, I'm sure that lineup you can get used to.
But yeah, winning is obviously the hardest with that final thing. So in 52 beat up, yeah,
you get a bunch of cards in one and like they, the, the, how busted they are.
How broken are we talking about? So that's the thing. It ranges, right? The description implied
balances out the window. We don't give a fuck, right? And I was like, okay, sending the, setting
the table. And some of them were much tamer. Some of them were like, you get a little bit more
light or your walk speed increases, or walking back gets faster, walking forward gets slower.
Right? Okay, that's fine. There's little, little mild ones. But then there's one that's like a
golden card. And it's, if you land the first attack, it's 400% damage. Oh, so you can technically
one hit kill somebody with a strong enough attack, providing that you land it first hit.
But you, it has to be first, otherwise the card is gone. You know, so it's like, oh, okay. So
like little fun things like that, you know, and I'm like, that's a cool mode. Cause that's like,
basically designing around, what's it called? Something combat, random combat or
Mortal Kombat had that mode in it, where you get bullshit constantly. Oh, I don't remember.
Anyway, whatever. So it's kind of like that, you know, and yeah, and this is a case too,
where you get a little bit of, test your luck. There you go. Thank you. And you get a little bit
of the, the game that we used to, so back in the day, remember fighting games for shots.
Right. The, the, the winner takes a shot. Therefore, over the course of long enough,
the night gets even skill. I remember skill fights away.
Us playing that and I went on a streak and got like ill. Like it's just like,
I remember, I forget what, I don't know what it was. I think it was third strike and I was just
really on and like, I beat you like 10 times and started to get like sick. The, because I just took
like 10 shots and like 40 minutes. That, that was, that was one of the fucking funnest ones. It was
just like, yeah, you, you watch the skill levels over the course of the night, even out with, with
enough time. If you play it long enough, it will even out.
Yeah. And so it's a little bit of that in play where it's like, okay, you still get a, you still
get an advantage, but the, the best card goes to the loser each time. And there were some matches
where like, I kept winning, but like Reggie's character was getting like ridiculously buffed.
And you can see the stacks of the character on between each round blowing through the roof,
their bars getting super high, all their shits going up, you know. So yeah, 52 beat up another
game in early state, but it was, it was a fun. My brain has just auto completed to like this,
as you're describing their stats going up. It's like it's playing Vegeta and beating up Goku,
but never finishing him off. Every time you, every time you do stupid Saiyans heal, they get
like 10 times stronger or whatever. I mean, there's, there's a card that's literally take 20%
of your opponent's life and it's yours now. And also important to note, you have to win
five out of seven rounds, right? Like a lot of rounds, but the, but they can go faster as you
more bullshit gets loaded onto your, onto your character as it gets sillier and sillier. Exactly.
So yeah, no, that was so 52 beat up was, was a good fun. There was a game called duals of fortune,
which not, it just looked like control. I'll delete the fighting game. There's not much to say,
except like, uh, yeah, it's indie. It's got a lot of characters. They're doing all kinds of stuff.
And the art style is aggressively control. I'll delete if you ever wanted to, to, to experience
that. Um, and you know, overall, uh, a couple other things as well. We, we, we enjoyed, uh,
um, going through some of the announcements, there's, uh, uh, uh, new updates coming to a
lot of games. Terror drum added the, the, um, uh, I think it was like the Jersey devil,
whatever kind of character. Um, uh, fucking, uh, thems fighting herds added a Chris Sabot
voiced giant elk that like never shuts up and attacks with floating ice weapons and goes on
monologues while he's doing his supers. It's great. Um, so yeah, lots of, lots of announcements
as well happen during the, the, the indie fighting game fest. And, uh, yeah, we're going to be putting
those episodes out. Um, so check out the channel for that. Stay tuned. Um, and yeah, by all means,
go grab, go grab some indie fighters. You know, there's a, there's a giant list of them.
They should still be on sale at this point. Um, and in some cases again, like it's on sale.
Oh, Yomi hustle. It's our, it was five bucks. Now it's like two, you know, like, what are you
going to fucking, what, and you're going to not get that? Get in there. Um, yeah. We played a game
called cross dreams, which was an interesting concept, but I think I just got super confused
by what it was initially. Cause, um, what the game is, is it's every puzzle game or all the major
known puzzle games, Tetris, Puyo Puyo, uh, um, uh, Tetris attack, uh, puzzle bubble, etc. You pick
two games and you have alternating boards that you can switch between at the same time.
And then when one dies, you have the other one left and every time you attack, you send
blocks or garbage over to the opponent's respective game. That's what it's supposed to be.
I saw the clip of, of, uh, Reggie rinsing you and I'm like, ha ha, will he lost? And like,
you looked really confused, but I'll be honest, I don't know what's happening in that clip.
It was insanely confusing, uh, because it doesn't quite elbow you enough initially to let you know,
Hey, we just kind of have legally distinct versions of the puzzle games, you know,
and you're just going to be doing a two V two versus mode for it. Right.
But if you're playing Puyo Puyo versus Tetris, for example, you kind of know how that already
works. So yeah, like there's that, um, also the Tetris raw game was like hidden off camera.
And so anyway, um, it's an interesting concept. It's the kind of thing that I think like it
legally could never probably happen because you'd have to get Tetris company to agree,
to Konami, to agree, to Capcom, to agree. Like you have to do a lot of work. And while, um,
Namco X Capcom and Project Cross Zone could figure that out, I feel like you would not get that,
uh, going with the Tetris company as well these days, um, and paneled upon and whatever.
Um, yeah, some of these puzzle games are like originally owned by a different company,
even though the license is this and you just, you never know. Right. So whatever. Um, that was,
uh, it was insanely confusing. It's a cool idea. Just needs a lot more clarity to it. And also the
rules are, uh, when you go to the tutorial, it's not really trying to explain anything to you as
well either. So, um, but yeah, uh, Indie fighting game fest, good stuff. Go check that out.
Fantastic. I'm glad to see that, like, I don't put this like fighting games,
it wouldn't have thought from like, from the type of games that they are that they'd be like,
like you've seen a million 2D indie games, right? Because it's like a simple concept to make at a
space level. Fighting games seem to be punching above their weight in terms of like how many indie
projects come out, like dive kicks, senior footsies, everything that you just said,
right? Like there's always, there's always like a ton of little gimmick, like indie fighting games
coming out at all times. Yeah. Um, so I think that what's happening is that I think that's
happening in all genres and that like people who have like ideas that are fans of any given genre
can now actually execute on those things. It's just gotten easier. So like while I'm not paying as
much attention, there's tons of racing games coming out that are from people that are fans of that,
you know, like, um, I was playing, um, 20 minutes till dawn, uh, like yesterday and getting more of
that. And it's like, Oh yeah, the, the vampire survivor, um, bullet heaven genre is now a thing
that if you've got a wild idea for one, you can just execute on that and get a prototype going a
lot faster. You know what? Um, across the board, 20 minutes till dawn, I want to, I played that a
little while ago and like, I feel like 20 minutes till dawn is what has cemented. There are two types
of survivor games and that is, do I aim or not? And man, I am, I am actively,
I will, out of my face aiming, get out, stop it, stop it. I don't want to press a button.
Well, how about, no, they give you the option to, uh, auto aim on or off, right?
No. Well, I was playing it with aiming twin stick and I was like, eh,
let me switch over to auto aim. And I was like, yeah, I like this. So, okay, well, when I played it,
I don't think it had auto aim. You hit space bar, you hit space bar and it just, it shoots the closest
enemy. It's great. Oh yeah. Yep. It works. And the toggle on it is actually pretty useful in the
sense that, um, you want to aim at bosses, you want to, you know, and you want to turn it off for
like a lot, for just about everything else. So, uh, yeah, no, it's, it's, it's, that, that ends up
working out. Controller support is still partial though. That's the thing. So it's not completely
mapped properly. You have to use the mouse to like navigate the menus properly still.
And by default, the turn off, a turn on auto aim thing is not on the controller.
Oh great. That would explain. So it's a keyboard button space bar and you have to map it on
joy to key or something if you want to use it. Um, do you know what does a full controller support?
Vampire survivors. Vampire survivors. Have you, uh, have you gone back to it?
I haven't, but I saw the big updates. So like, I got the DLCs. I hadn't played the first DLC
and then I picked up the second one and I started playing it again. Boy, boy, oh boy, that DLC for
vampire survivors is fucking incredible. Oh yeah. Like fucking incredible. First of all, each of the
DLCs is like a buck 50. So, okay, great. Right. Second of all, I start playing the first of the
DLC. This is actually quite a bit older. The moon spell one. Um, it's changing what vampire
survivors is. So they're like, Hey, we added all this new stuff, but like, Hey, here's the new map.
And you know how maps work in vampire survivors? They're just like pieces of shit. They're just
like a corridor or like a field. Okay. Right. That are like more or less randomly generated.
Um, not anymore. The two DLC maps are like maps that have geography and zones and different
enemies that fight you in those zones. So like when you go to the moon spell map, you're like,
Oh, I have to climb the mountain to go through here. And if I go through the cave, that's where
the Onis attack me. Interesting. Okay. And on top of that, the new characters are all zany as shit.
So, um, they have, oh God, they have like, first of all, there's the DLCs are like each of them,
like is like 50% more content than the base game. Like they each come with like eight to 10 new weapons.
But on top of that, um, they animate now.
They actually walking animations. There's a little, there's a tiny little walking animation.
3d environments. What? Get the fuck out of here. And, and so like I'm playing moon spell, right?
And, uh, I unlocked the first character, which the, their weapon has a lot more animation to it than
usual. Like, okay, that's fine. Then I unlocked the second character and the second character has
a weapon that actually as you level it up, it gets farther away from your character and actually
becomes very bad until it's upgrade because it's like, it's, it explodes the periphery of the screen.
Okay. But to make up for that, every 500 enemies you kill, the character gets an install becomes
invincible and triples their speed. Okay. And then the second one, the, the, after that, when you,
when you do their full upgrade for their, their standard weapon, they turn in with different
character and get a speed and health upgrade. Like they're doing tiny little zany things
with the vampire survivors formula and it's great. Man. So good. I'm looking at this steam page and
it's like, I'm seeing the bundle, like everything is, is dirt cheap as, as it was. Uh, uh, nice to
see making some money on this, you know, that's cool. But like, I'm looking at the art for this DLC
and it's this gorgeous, like detailed portraits of these new characters and stuff. And meanwhile,
up top on the main profile, it's still that fucking photoshopped bayonetta bullshit.
Oh yeah, dude. It's that stupid bayo to photoshop still there.
The, the tides of foscari or whatever, when you go to the steam page, guess what? There's a,
there's like a lavishly detailed, like anime, uh, OP to go with it. What are we doing?
Shows that shows the maruto, the loyal champion. And it's like this super well animated, like
Castlevania, uh, animated series, like, like him swinging the sword and fighting enemies.
And then it cuts to like the sub gameboy level shit. And you're like, but there's a,
they have, they have a second or third frame of walking animation now as the title screen
changed. Or is it still just, no, no, it is exactly the same. Not only has the title screen
not changed, they've never fixed the part where it doesn't actually do full screen on the right side.
Oh God. Okay. All right. So this is, yeah, this is a new classification of like it's gaining
popularity traction and a budget, but it's not fixing anything from the past. It's just adding
it to the new content. So get this, get this. I've been, so I'm back in, I'm super back in.
There's, there's, there's a lot, they have, each of these also adds like lots of new miscellaneous
features. Two things of real notes. One, they have added a ability to punch in passwords to just
unlock shit. Just listen, is this it, like, you know, there's some characters that you have to
like get to 29 minutes and then like hit all to enter or some shit when like a dog appears on
your screen for half a second. Sure. Yeah. That's stupid. Just type the goddamn cheat code into
the password thing and it'll unlock. Great. Okay. The second thing that I only learned about due
to the hotfix for the DLC, vampire survivors is getting a new engine. Full engine overhaul.
Oh shit. That's huge. So, well, I have a 4090 and a 1300K in my PC, right?
When I'm playing Moonspell, it's still, still cannot hit 60. Like it is, it is, it won't,
it will not do it. The engine can't handle the amount of enemies on the screen. The new engine,
which is not done, supposedly can maintain the frame rate near the, near the last two,
three minutes of the game. Wow. And that is bananas. A full migration just to get that going.
Okay. Right. You can switch over to the beta if you want, but your save file isn't guaranteed,
so I wouldn't do it. But the idea that you could play the last two or three minutes
of a vampire survivors match at like normal speed is just insane.
I'm imagining that like, I don't know, like, is this where the 3D environments comes into play?
Oh, they're not 3D. Okay. Because I'm just imagining what a 3D angle on the final,
yeah, like two minutes of this looks like. You could never do this in 3D.
It would be nonsense. Like there's other games that are doing like this style in 3D,
but they never even approach the amount of like shit on screen.
Okay. Yeah, you know what, I worry that the new engine will make the game way harder.
Because like one of the good ways about the frame rate dying in that last two minutes
is that it gives you more time to move.
Interesting. Yeah. Okay. Makes things a little bit easier too.
But yeah, hey, guess what? Fucking vampire survivors,
fresh off its BAFTA award win, still the fucking best game you can buy for four dollars.
I, you know, if we just keep this momentum and we get to a point where like, not just cut scenes,
but like full on high budget content is now being released into the game. And you still have to
onboard through the same stupid little. You do. You always will. You always will.
At some point the shit starts looking AAA in nature. And, and, and, but you,
but you got to get there. You have to start here first. That's going to be amazing.
Like the whole reason the games was able to get so much content is because it's like the
shittiest looking like pixel fuck. Like, yeah. And just instant iteration nonstop.
Like I, you know, I, I follow, um, I follow like a lot of these survivor games and a lot
of them want to be like 3D and they want to look good. Right. And what happens is, is they can't
keep up with the amount of shit that they should air quotes be putting out because they have to
3D model and use like effects and graphics and sounds instead of almost nothing.
I mean, if the, if the, if the basics of what you're doing are fun, you can use
temp placeholder sprites and just make it regardless. Um, we've seen that time and time
again. So yeah, by all means, um, I feel like vampire survivors is the absolute best
example I've ever seen of people saying like, I want, uh, more expensive games made cheaper,
with less hour, you know, that thing. Yeah. Like I want, I like, I don't need better paid developers.
I need shitty nest graphics with cool options.
Um, man, fucking. All right. Well, I, I like that the game and DLC and OST bundle
is $6 and 31 cents. So that's pretty cool. You know, it's going to be strange because
like eventually, I mean, I thought they, like when they put out the first DLC, I was like,
Oh, cool. They put out a DLC. I wonder when they're going to be done. And then they put out a
second one like right away. I'm like, Oh, they're going to, they're going to go. Like the, the, the
speed of update has not slowed down since the game hit 1.0. It's just become DLCs. So like at
some point the game is going to become $20, but it'll be like 10 games worth of content.
Interesting. Well, I was, uh, yeah, I was looking for a little, um, downtime game and I was checking
out 20 minutes till dawn just to, uh, kind of hit that because, um, as the, as the, the unpacking
and shit continues, I kind of am still set up to get some downtime in, but, uh, vampire survivors
is fucking is doing stuff. I guess I should, uh, I'll peek back over, see what's going on.
I think with both DLCs added, it has now doubled its content since 1.0.
Okay. Um, that being said, though, I'm still, I'm still, uh, interested in seeing like what,
what the, the clones are, are, what, what the other ideas are about, you know, um,
some of them are really interesting. I tried bro Tato and was like, I fucking hate this game.
But it seems cool, but I hate it. That kind of situation for your, for your reasons. Sure.
I just like, I think it looks hideous and like it just doesn't,
it doesn't look hideous in the way that I want it to look hideous.
Do you not have affection for the new ground style, uh, character?
I really don't.
Okay. Cause that's really what it comes down to.
Apparently, according to people in our chat right now, the, the second place game is firmly
holo cure, which on the one hand it is all them Vtubers that I'm not super familiar with,
but also holo cure has the, um, the benefit of being free.
Is it, isn't so, although isn't holo cure also like currently sparse sir on content than all the
others? I heard that it's just kind of like not done yet and there's a only a, only a couple
characters. Oh, it's definitely not done yet because it's a, it's, it's free. Right. Costs free 99.
Okay. Well, yeah. I mean, I mean, for me, idle stuff aside, I'm like, okay, but how's it play?
So what's the, you know, that's, that's what I care about.
Oh, holo, holo cure. How does it play? Uh, it's, it's got, it has buttons.
Yeah. I remember you mentioned that, uh, but it's not really aiming. It's strafing and like, uh,
like, like a, uh, like a super mode. Okay. Okay. Cause yeah, that's, and that's,
that's also how I feel about, uh, hey, will he go play a big idle final game? I'm like,
well, when it gets here, we'll see how, how does it play? There's idols in it. There's VTubers.
That's cool. What are they doing? What are their functions? Are they fun? I hope so.
That's, that's, that's what, that's what I want to fucking know. Um, what are the ingredients?
All right. I gotta use the bathroom. Let's take a quick break. Okay. Enjoy, enjoy your bathroom time.
All right. What's going on?
A beat chaos. Ah, strangers of paradise. Yeah. DLC. No, main game. So you're playing
stranger of paradise and you're getting into the gameplay and you're getting into the leveling
system and the stories actually go in kind of interesting places and the, the levels in the
back half of the game start to get a lot more complex. What if I'm bad at the word chaos from
chat right now? Then you would silence them. You should not. Um, right. So you watch the water
temple, get to the water temple, right? And the water temple is based off the macro reactor and
like, Oh, it looks exactly like the macro reactor from episode seven. Oh, that's cute. And you know,
you're going through these longer levels and then you get to like the 85, 95% mark. Let's say,
let's say 90% mark. And then you're like, wow, this is the exact moment they ran out of money.
This is the exact second that development started to go really fast.
Oh, because all of a sudden these big story moments are, are they're not cut scenes. They're
like the in game models standing on moving in a row. Budget off Yakuza. Yeah. Oh, no. And then
you, and then you get to the, then you get to the fucking, you get to like the final regular level
and it's the shittiest looking level in the entire game. It's so ugly. It's, um, you know,
this is a really specific thing. You know, a P, you know, for the PS three, when you were playing
a game that had discrete levels, and then you got to like an area and the area was all made
out of stone and all the stone used the exact same texture. And like the whole area is like,
is the exact same color. Like it's all the same color. And you're like, fuck. And it's not like
an elaborate reference to like the garland cave from FF one or anything. No, it's supposed to be
the floating continent from six. Right. Is the final real level neck. Sorry. Sorry. One second.
Doorbell. Hold on. Oh, doorbell. Nevermind. She's got it. All right. Cool. So pardon me. I'm just
eating a piece of cake. What kind of cake? Olive oil citrus.
Whoa. That's a thing. Yeah, dude. Olive oil cake.
Looks like this. Olive oil citrus. Yeah. I've never heard of it. Okay.
Olive oil. It's an olive oil cake that also has oranges in it.
That's it. Delicious. Right. Anyway, anyway.
So you get to the end of the game and it starts to completely fucking fall apart.
But the story actually hits. And that's the weirdest part.
Like the story is played for dumb shits for maybe 80% of the game. And then right at the end,
right at the end, they start going, okay, so now we're going to now we're going to like
be a real story and we're going to start hitting some emotional beats and they hit. They actually
work really well. One note one note chaos really well is not one note chaos, man.
Yeah. No, Jack fucking rules. Okay. Jack is awesome and it has a really strong ending.
So I hear and it and it ties in really well to, you know, FF one somehow. And then and you're like,
yeah, that was great. And then the DLC happens. So
so the game. So the game I'm playing right now, stranger paradise is not the same as
its original release. They did things like they added the ability to change the way,
you know, glamour change the way you look. They cleaned up a lot of systems, you know,
that kind of thing, right? So it's it's a it's a streamlined improved version.
It's also the version that has all the DLC, which oh, so you did play the DLC.
No. So let me explain to you what happens. You beat the game and you okay. Great. You beat
the game and it goes now that you have beaten the game. You've unlocked chaos difficulty.
And chaos difficulty is not it goes action hard. And then now chaos. Well, what's the deal with
chaos difficulty? Okay, chaos difficulty is now rolling forward new game plus kind of thing.
But now every mission in the entire game can be a challenge from level one to 400 and the higher
you you challenge every mission, it will drop gear of appropriate difficulty levels. But you
have to pay in with your levels to unlock the ability to challenge these levels with these
higher difficulties. But wait, don't do that. Don't do that. Because Bahamut's DLC says screw chaos
difficulty actually try Bahamut difficulty, which unlocks the instant you talk to Bahamut once.
And what the fuck the fuck is Bahamut difficulty? Well, Bahamut difficulty is exactly the same as
chaos difficulty except chaos to sorry, Bahamut difficulty allows you to get double affinity
gear, but it also wants you to use Hades' heat mode to turn on challenge modes on the thing.
But you have to do that so you can get rat tails to give to Bahamut. Why do I got to give Bahamut
rat tails? Well, every time I give Bahamut rat tails, he'll unlock conversation so that I can go
fight the Bahamut DLC. And then after defeating the Bahamut DLC, then Gilgamesh shows up and
unlocks the Gilgamesh difficulty, which has its own thing based. And it's like, I beat the game
and was just assaulted with end game content. Yeah. That I don't understand. And I struggle
to ascertain the path. Do you know what I mean by that? Because it's not just go into this portal
now there's new levels. It's there's new difficulty for everything you just did.
For old levels. And then you have to use special conditions and to get new stuff for the okay.
And I find out that so when I beat the game, I unlocked a Warrior of Light armor set, which is
level 200, like way far beyond what I was wearing at the time. I find out that that armor set was
added the day of the game steam release. So prior to that, in order to start the Bahamut difficulty,
I would have had to grind out the chaos level difficulty until I was good enough to start
the Bahamut difficulty so that I could grind the Bahamut level difficulty to get good enough to
fight Bahamut, which would then unlock the Gilgamesh level difficulty so that I could beat
Gilgamesh's random dungeon so I could start aren't you glad that the Neo armor numbers are gone?
Yeah. And this is what you get in exchange. Here's the here's the basic difference.
Neo also does the same thing basically, where when you get to the end of Neo goes, hey, these
games are they're for nuts and they're for people that want that level of they want to
bathe in it. So even if you avoid it, and you're like, this is the best of that of those games
because it takes that thing out. Cool. Get ready to still get showered and all that shit because
that's what the fans want from it. So I've been talking to people and Neo. So Neo, it basically
does the same fucking thing. More or less. Right. The difference is, is that stranger of paradise
just hits you with every mechanic just simultaneously. And the way that it obfuscates what you actually
need to do, like the in Neo, you're you're rolling through old things, and they're just getting
harder and harder and harder and harder. So it's asking you to take the gear system more, more,
more seriously. Stranger of Paradise is DLC. It goes, we're not we're gonna do that, but we're
also just gonna throw it's gonna be a different mode now that you have to select. And it's it's
wildly confusing. It completely like like I appreciated that I could auto optimize my gear
all the way through the main game. I'm looking at it and like maybe making the most complicated
version of this system slam into you all at once was also not the best solution.
Because it is like like you ever maybe this happens to you, you're streaming and you're hit
with a level of mechanical complexity that you're just like kind of wild eyed and you're just like,
but but but this rat and like just just annihilated any desire to continue playing the game at all.
Wow, really? Okay, because I so the thing is, because these are progressive DLCs that came out
over time. And my assumption or not my assumption, the way it was described to me, because again,
like I've heard about them and such is that like you played it quality of life updates team ninja
style came out throughout the entire things lifestyle and then lifespan. And then you would
drop that and then the gate when the DLC drops, it's a reason to go back through play a whole
other difficulty challenge yadda yadda and get all the extra new shit. And then the next one
puts the all of that again, plus it actually the real real true ending or so. Because there's
also like stuff like plot implied at the way the way it ended up working out in in terms of time
is that you would beat the original game and you would unlock chaos and what chaos is is like,
hey, you can fight remixed remixed bosses at the end of the existing levels and just gear
yourself up and become stronger and stronger and stronger. And when you put things on chaos,
difficulty enemies had like different AI, so they'd be way more aggressive and bosses would
have new moves, that kind of thing. And you would gear yourself up. Then the DLC comes out and goes,
oh, cool, you've been gearing yourself up for six months, right? Cool. Now do these levels with
challenges added. But to the player who's playing through it in one big game, they go, you've been
grinding for six months, right? I go, no, I that was 10 minutes ago. I beat it 10 minutes ago.
What are you talking about? Well, here's here's your here's your baby's armor for you to keep
going. I don't know how the server works. I got it for free. Is it because it has high affinity?
Is that good? Yeah, okay. Yeah. The collection of all of this in one shot is what makes it weird.
Yeah, like it is like it is unironically like so the game is a level based
like character action game with with like a leveling structure. And then you beat the game
and it turns into Diablo. It just becomes Diablo.
And like a fairly in depth version.
Uh oh. Hello?
Yeah. Did you hear all of that? I did. There was a point where there's a point where it the discord
kind of fucked up, but we're okay. You froze a little bit. Okay.
Yeah. It just turns into a completely different game with a with a different focus.
Okay. And it's and it's a focus that I'm not super interested in. So like when I was when I was
playing through Stranger of Paradise is not interested in. Okay. When I was playing through
Stranger of Paradise is main campaign, the leveling structure was there and made me interested
because I would get new moves and I was playing a action game in which I would unlock new moves.
Right. Every single thing after beating the game is like fuck new moves. You want new gear
and new builds, right? I'm like, no, I actually really don't. I don't give a shit about that at all.
I couldn't. I could not care less. It's when it goes from being kind of close to double may cry.
Oh, yeah. To being close to Diablo. Well, my question is, is this not like you've
maxed out all your moves on on DMC and now you've gotten a DLC that introduces,
you know, Son of Sparta mode and then you go, then you get another one that introduces,
you know, Heaven or Hell and then you but you've these are all meant to be done with the full
move list. Right. It's like that. But it's not about the move list. It's about your character's
numerical power and your build. Okay, right. And it's like, I don't really have any interest
in making a build in Stranger Paradise. Now, I would, I would like for the number I would like,
like I would, it brings me to my final stance on the Neo slash
Stranger Paradise slash well, long thing. I'm like, wow, I can now confirm I would really love
these games way more if they had absolutely no inventory whatsoever. Interesting. Okay.
I don't mind that stuff at all personally. But what I I mentioned this, I think two weeks ago or so
when you're first talking about it, but the whatever if you do get to the final DLC,
I've been told that you have to make builds and they have to be broken.
Yes, because the game is going to start throwing broken stuff at you.
Exactly. So like you can't avoid getting into that side of things if you want to go forward,
you know. And so by the end of it, I'm like, wow, what a great action game from Team Ninja. I
really, oh, what would a Team Ninja action game look like if they just had no inventory? I would
really like one of those. Oh, they used to make those. It was called Ninja Gaiden. I kind of just
want to have them make Ninja Gaidens again is what I've reached all the way at the end.
So I'm someone who's also become aware of how like me just wanting things to be the way I walk
them is where people go fucking woolly in your stupid basic view on things. I kind of look at
this and I go, well, I know that as much as I want pure action and things, this being a partial
Final Fantasy game, it makes sense to me that there needs to be Final Fantasy elements, including
Oh, totally armor weapons, equipment inventory. That's where it gets weird because the job system
is in there and the job system does give you constant new abilities and new moves and new
features like if you have Sage and you unlock a certain certain, you know, job button or whatever
called you get to cast Ultima, right? Or, you know, your cast speed with white magical go, you
know, stuff like that. It's when the gearing process starts to come in. It's where I'm worried about
purples and blues and orange and affinity and whether or not I want to upgrade the specific
plus 6% break damage on my sword or not. And it's just like, not not interested, just not interested.
Just it has no appeal to me, which is weird. Because like if I was playing like actually
Diablo, that would appeal to me. But the difference is, is that like Diablo's gameplay is fairly
simple. Like there's like the numerical elements to that is is like a much larger part of it.
Yeah. If there was nothing, well, anyway, it's weird because as I've described many times,
basic breadcrumbs don't work for me. And like if all you have to offer me is like a purple
colored, a purple named weapon, I'm not going to stick around very long, right? I need to see
the effect of that to being different. I need to see a different move. I need to see that
that move list grow and to do different things or even if it's destiny, I need to see a different
type of fucking special entirely. Once that's complete, the game has to and like,
I'm okay with there being a like this is the full move list, you know, what is next, I suppose,
is just like, how do you remix the challenges? How do you like you know what I mean? There's
another like like a complete you can't have a move list that is like there's always a new move
you've never gotten, right? Like that doesn't really work. There's got to be a point at which
you're like, well, now this is the complete character. Here's what like Doom or any of
these action games we play, there's how do you increase or how do you step up to a new challenge
with this set amount of actions? Yeah, now like obviously, like the part of that complexity
going in is like now you have the whole move list. So where's this going to go? So I mentioned
builds. So like I saw builds that were like, you know, regenerate MP as you attack and just
constantly use the most overpowered shit or max out your break damage. So you're stunning enemies
in single strikes or you're doing you're healing yourself while you're doing damage and you never
stop doing damage. So you become functionally invincible unless you get one shot, you know,
just all sorts of zany shit, right? But you have to like get the gear for that and then curate it
and then put it together and then combine it with your shit. And like, I don't fucking care.
I don't give a fuck about that shit. Like, I think back to items that I got in loot games
that like made me excited. It was like stuff in Borderlands and like Diablo two. And it was
not stuff where I'm like, Hey, this will really help my build that I'm going for. No, it was items
that I would pick up and go, wow, this thing is massively fucked up and broken. I'll just build
around it. Does that make sense as a concept? Right? You know, I picked up a gun with fucking
in Borderlands that's like does 1600% extra damage to people on fire. Or you know, what have you?
Okay, I can, I can do that. I can mentally figure that out. Like basically item up instead of
build up. Does that make sense? I get it. But like that's kind of on the basis too of like,
okay, well, random has RNG has granted you a an insane spike in one direction. So now you
can kind of dress that up. Whereas when I was looking over even the quick itemization I got
in Stranger Paradise, it's like, well, you're going to be trying to get affinity, which is going to
boost your stats along a certain thing. And then you'll be able to say, Oh, I'll max out Sage
affinity. What does Sage affinity good for? Okay, then I'll build my shit around the process of
passively building up this build or these ideas is less fun to you. If it's gradual, somebody
in the chat just perfectly, perfectly summed it up. I care about uniques, not rares.
So in, in, so if you are not particularly super familiar with like your old loot games,
a unique is a bespoke item, usually with unique art that was given a special name. It was not
randomly generated and it is given like fucked up properties, but it was chosen to get fucked up
properties. Right. So I think back and I think the one that drops into my mind is wind force,
which was a Diablo two, Diablo two boat that for some reason I can remember a godly rare is something
that would be like it dropped and it just happened to roll with just the percentile increases of a
lifetime that makes certain parts of it strong. And it's like, no, I want, I want the, the completely
fucked up made item, like the random percentile increases don't really do it for me. And also,
on top of that, I'm going to reiterate, I don't give a fuck about any percentile increase that's
not like 25 to 30%. Yeah, that I, that I absolutely do get. Yeah. Mild little adjustments here and
there are not just not as fun. It's not as drastic. It's the worst. And it's interesting because like
I'm thinking about the level up bonuses you get in something like vampire survivors are 20 minutes
still done. And you're going to get a choice that usually has one that's a drastic wild thing and
two or maybe three that are mild adjustments or so. And yeah, you usually kind of beeline for the
drastic built changer, right? Like, or even binding a visor. Vampire survivors like, hey,
I got, I got garlic. I'm going to reroll until I get the Pumarella, whatever the heart, so I can
get the big garlic, right? Every time. Okay. Yeah, that makes sense. I get it. But yeah, no, that's,
that's how I feel like, you know what, there's a, I'm sure people in, in, in, I'm sure people in
chat will, and people at home will recognize this if they played Borderlands 2. Borderlands 2 has a
gun, which is the law, the result of a really long quest line about a cursed gun. It is a gun that
everyone who picks up the gun either kills themselves or throws the gun away immediately. And you go
here, here, here, here, and you finally get the gun and you pick it up and it's a submachine gun
that has the most fucking insane stats you've ever seen on anything in the game. It's called,
it's called Bane. Yeah, the Bane has a unique name. It's not like an auto-generated name.
It has, it's like, it fires like 10 times as fast. It does like slag, which is like the debuff
stat. It's like, wow, what an incredible fucking gun. I'm going to put this on. You equip it and
your movement speed is 1% of normal. And every time you fire it, and you fire it, it's a submachine
gun, every bullet goes like constantly at like an insanely loud volume. And it is, it is like
ear annihilating. It sounds so shit. It screams at you when you reload. Did you just scream there?
Oh yeah, no, I screamed. Sorry. I made a horrible, that'll come, that'll come through at home. I don't
know what Discord's deal is. Okay. It just didn't. Just constant, constant awful. And yeah, I don't
know what Discord is, is filtering my screams every time I yell. The noise gate filters it.
The noise gate like dropped right on top of that. Yeah, I thought for a while it was my mixer. No,
it's Discord specifically. But it's horrible. It's a horrible freak gun that sounds like shit
and is a nightmare. But you can swap it in and out on your inventory. So you can equip a regular
gun and then like quick switch to it and just do a million damage. And that gun is therefore
really memorable and really fun. I cannot think, I like, I do not think Stranger Paradise's system
allows for that kind of nonsense. Right, okay. Yeah, I remember when going through Vampire
Survivors and I finally started when I got the gist of like how to win while learning how to play.
And there's a point where you go, if I'm like five or six selections in five levels or six
levels in and I haven't picked anything busted right away, fuck this run. Yeah. Right. You need
to have a wild direction to start in to start, you know, thinking about what else to do. Otherwise,
it's just a passively mildly strong, but nothing particularly aggressive. Hey, I'm gonna,
I'm gonna try something. Can you hear this? No, not at all. What the hell Discord? What is going on?
Why are you doing this to me? Interesting. That's so weird. Background yelling is just fucking.
Yeah, no. Is it the echo cancellation? Weird.
Well, I mean, it is the echo cancellation. Okay.
I mean, that's not bad. That's not bad for the sounds of
Oh, it's happening to you now. It's happening to you. Oh, did that go away?
I didn't hear that either. Okay. Okay. That is a button I have on though. I can,
I can cancel that. Right. So let me see here.
No, it doesn't want to do it. I turned it off and I turned it on and I turned it off again. Yeah.
So now, yeah, it's off now. I don't know. Oh, well, we'll figure it out. Yeah, weird.
Oh, this is great listening for, for any, you love this in your headphones, everybody. All right.
Oh, it's super good. Sound testing. Let's go.
Oh, great. All right. All right. Well, anyways, I love it. There you go. Yeah. Stranger
Paradise is still a really good game. I feel bad that it came out three weeks after Elton Ring.
That sucks. Christ. Yeah, that's true. I don't know if you remember that. I forgot about that.
Because that, that buried that shit to death. Yeah, good game. Fun game. Excellent. Good.
Fun. Good. Excellent. Really cheaply made also. It's kind of sad about that, but oh well.
I'm, I've, yeah, there's a lot of, I'm very curious to see how the story gets good in this
context. I'm really, that's, that's the most interesting thing I've heard is just like.
It's so strange because it's, it's wild ass dumb shit. Like everyone in the party, every,
like not just Jack, like everyone saw the memes of Jack being like, I don't care about your,
but everyone in that party is a fucking moron. It is, it is, it is maybe the lowest IQ group in
Final Fantasy ever, like just absolute buffoons. And at some point there's just like one cutscene
where they're like, now it's time for feelings. And you're like, oh, I feel the feelings towards
these buffoons. Weird. Okay. Very weird. Okay. Yeah. There's no, I, I've, I've heard some interesting
things. And well, and I, yeah, no, no spoilers and stuff, but there is a bit of like the more
you are familiar with the basics of not just FF one, but also like Decidia series. Yeah,
the whole series and Decidia ass garland or evil, like all of that matters and, you know, the,
the, the loops and yadda yadda. So okay. So that's fun. What else I mess with. I decided to start
checking out games on early access. So this week I'm actually going to play every game I'm going
to play as early access, but I started that last week with a game called Luna Sid. I don't know
if you've ever heard of this one. I have seen that name, but I don't know what it is. So Luna,
I'll, you can, you can look at it on, on the, on the tubes. Luna Sid is a fake ass PlayStation
one game. Luna Sid comes from an alternate world where it was a PS one game and it came out and
you just didn't, you just didn't notice. It is Kingsfield. Oh, okay. It is like, you know how
some games you're like, Oh, it's like a soul's like, or Oh, it's like this, like this is Kingsfield
fucking four. This is, this is fake ass Kingsfield and it rules. It's fucking great. It is, it is
old and brutal and jank in all the ways that you would want, but it also kind of plays like a,
like, like it has some control contrivances and that like feel nice and you, you, the, the, the
stats make sense and you can, you, there's an in-game manual picking up that when you go to
picking up the torch that from soft is not interested in anymore. Yeah. It is also like,
it has no map and a boy. Yep. You thought the souls style games were confusing with
their perspective with no map. Holy shit. This game is, I got fucking lost. I got fucking lost.
So as someone who's never played Kingsfield and who I'm looking at this footage and I'm
immediately being just like stressed out by trying to figure out the distance of my attacks and the
ranges of, of your melee. It's actually pretty good about that. Different, different, different
melee weapons have different ranges and you get a feeling of them. Okay. You also have like a wide
variety of starting classes that are actually really interesting, which include like fighter,
thief, blah, blah, blah, right, as well as vampire and undead, which like change the way, like vampire
can't heal itself with potions. It can only heal itself with blood, but it gets a little bit of a
bonus to it. It has a really, like this is, this is really granular and normally you wouldn't care.
It has really good stats. It has really, really good stats. It's got strength, which what you
would assume gives you, you know, power on your melee hits. It's got, you know, decks, which as
you would assume gives you damage on your, your ranged attacks. Sure. Okay. But it also has, I
want to say it's agility, which increases your run speed and your jump height. Okay. And you're
like, okay, that's nice. The pumping a couple levels into it made my, made my like regular run
like a sprint, like you feel it. And like my jump height doubled by the time I was done with the,
the, the play time I hit, like it's a lot. Like you fucking feel it. So can you slowly turn this
into dusk? Maybe. Um, when, when I was, when I was like leveling magic, like you level magic a
couple levels and it goes from I can cast three spells to I can cast 20. Wow. Like, like you,
you feel it. Okay. And more the most interesting, and it's the only game I have ever played
that I've actually been like, I will level the stat resistance is a stat you start with in that
game. And resistance is really simple. It is the length of time that statuses affect you.
That's it. That's all it does. So when I get poisoned at base resistance, let's say it takes
20 seconds for the poison to go through after 10 levels, it now takes half that time.
And I was like, I don't know how vital this is until I fought a demon and demons cast a spell
that makes your character completely blind. And how long you are completely blind is,
is measured on by your resistance. So I had not leveled it very much. And so I fought the demon
for multiple minutes, completely blind because that's what I had to do.
Man, the word resistance just makes me immediately. I know, I know, right?
Yeah, the poison doesn't fuck it. Do you want to hit harder or do you want a little less poison?
Fuck it. Well, and the question was always, well, you know, it's always a matter of scale,
right? If you played, if Dark Souls one, leveling resistance, let you cut the damage
off of poison from Blight Down by half. Yeah, that would actually be a worthwhile stat to use.
But it doesn't. It doesn't do shit, right? So yeah, overall, it feels good. It plays really well.
It's hard. It's very mean. I was stressed out the whole time because I was lost.
The areas are massive and gigantic and interesting.
And there's only and it's and it's been working on Early Access for a long time
and it has been getting better and better. It's almost done.
It's only one thing I would really strongly, strongly disagree with. It is a really cool,
cohesive Kingsfield art style except for one character that's like a PS1 anime girl.
And it is it is so wildly incongruous with the rest of the game. I can barely describe it.
It like she looks so bad compared to every other single like character model in the entire game.
It's weird. Okay, weird.
I think it's it's worth mentioning as well that this is an Early Access and it says that
they're going to take one to two years before they're out of Early Access.
So granted, that that was from the games original release in March of last year.
Well, okay. Because just if you're getting into something,
make sure you know in your Early Access phase that if you put some time that it's far away,
it's far away and you might lose that progress, right?
So like I'm playing like Early Access games this week, I've decided on a bunch of them, right?
Right. And one of the things that made me laugh was that when I put the list, you know,
the schedule list out, I saw some folks going, I can't believe get to the orange door is still in
Early Access. Holy fuck, I haven't heard that name. Oh my god. GTTOD.
Whoa. Still in Early Access. When did I last hear about that?
That game came out in the 30th of May in 2019. Pre-pandemic.
Yeah, pre-pandemic. Wow. So,
wow. You know what? You know what they just did? What they just did is they reworked the entire game.
Like they rebuilt like all the enemy behavior and all the movement functions from scratch.
Okay. I mean, I just, I saw this trailer. I remember it looked like a super hype game
that I'd be down for and then it just stopped existing in my brain.
Yeah, it's been updated constantly. Huh. Okay. So I'm like, you know what? I've been looking
at get to the orange door for a long time. Yeah, I'll try it. And then I'm like,
hey, I've been looking to play against the storm for a while. And then I'm like, oh, well,
sons of the forest and backpack hero and dread delusion are out.
Do you think, you think Hakita just did it the right way, right? Of these like, like just,
you just hit the chapters in Ultra Kill one by one. They're coming along, but you still get a
complete experience as you go through the full chapter. And it's torn. I'm really torn because
like we saw Hades, right? And we saw Darkest Dungeon. We saw Darkest Dungeon two and we were
seeing Ultra Kill. And all of those like are taking like, they took like wildly different
like stances. Hades would have like content updates, right? But it also update like granular,
tiny ass little baby changes, right? Ultra kill is like, yo, dude, here's the new level. Yeah.
Goodbye. Yeah. I'll see you. I'll see you in six months.
Part chapter. Done. Boss fight at the end of it. You've, you know, and you tell tale your way
through a non tell tale genre game. It feels good. It feels good. It feels like that's the
like, I wouldn't have as much early access regret in that style of release versus the ones I've had
with the games I've suffered by loving too hard, you know, the darkest dungeons and the Hades and
the, and the those, those were dead souls of the world feed update updates where like every couple
of weeks, there's some update and the update might be as simple as like, tweak the timing on
the fist weapons or it could be here's a completely new zone. There is one of the reasons that like
had me interested in doing this kind of like early access period is specifically against
the storm, the game I'm going to be playing tomorrow, because it's fucking fascinating and
it has the most aggressive update schedule of any early access game I have ever seen.
It is, there is an update with some feature every two weeks.
That's pretty aggressive. They have like, they have a super massive, like, like,
like five by six grid of features. That's their roadmap and every, every two weeks,
they bang one of those out. Okay. And I'm like, wow, they're almost done their roadmap. How far are
they 0.48? Like, oh, once this roadmap is done, they're just going to throw down another
massive roadmap. So you're miles from version one. Oh yeah, against the storm is miles away
from version one. But supposedly it is like more feature complete than nearly anything in its genre.
I mean, city builder. I think I said it before, but like,
Yomi Hussle is weekly. At this point, it slowed down a little bit, but it's, it was faster than
every two weeks. There was a certain point where there was an update on a pet or patch or a hot
fix, maybe three times a week. And it updates like discord fucking updates, you know, the most
aggressive ever. And I'm like, I've never seen any game iterate as fast and as hard as this one does.
And for better and for worse, there was a time, you know, I was thinking about the way you played
Hades and how I was like, I'm like, that's totally new game. There is a game I actually burned myself
out on in early access. And that's a world of horror. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because back
when world of horror was like version 0.6 or something like that, like a year or two ago,
I did absolutely every single thing you could possibly do in world of horror.
Like I did everything. And I reached out to the dev on Twitter and I was like,
please update the game so I can save my attack string. Because you remember, it used to be like,
if you, if you figured out the number, the math on it, you do attack, attack, defend, defend, attack.
No, I don't think I got that to that point. So basically in world of horror, when you attack
something, you have a certain amount of points to use on your attack or heavy attack or defend
or whatever. And then you, you fight the enemy and you're like, Oh, I figured out that I can
just barely do three attacks in one defense or something like that. But you had to do it every
single time, like every single turn you had to, you know, click through. Yeah. And I contacted
the dev. I'm like, Hey, can you please make it? So there was like a repeat last action.
And sure enough, that was in the next update, like three days later. And I was like, Oh,
fucking hell yeah. And then I did every single thing that could be done in that game.
And then every single time it updates, which is quite rarely now, they're like added one new
scenario. I'm like, that means I'm going to play 99% of the same stuff. I have to wait until
1.0. We have to wait. Makes me sad. The apparently, or the world of horror updated last week. And it
updated my to point 9.92. And I'm like, come on, come on, just come on. It's right there.
You're at the finish line. You're at the finish line. Do it.
Yeah. And then at some point there's going to be that 1.0 drop where it's like everyone starts
hearing about it and seeing it for the first time proper. And yeah, speaking of
darkest dungeon apparently comes out in three weeks, two weeks. Let's go.
I eagerly anticipate the caravan system not changing at all. It was massively overhauled
one patch ago. Yeah. Let's go. Beautiful. So I, I, I, dude, I literally had the same
brain moment where I was like, God, I hate that fucking caravan system. I hope. Oh,
it's like stagecoach controls a brand new control scheme that reduces the labor on the
player and keeps the focus on the journey. Like it, it, I can't stress how much I
don't enjoy when a aggressive genre switch or something that I, a game that I categorize as
a laid back, take your turn, relax and, and figure out what you're going to do game such as that,
which tension is high because everything can die right away. But I don't want to swerve a stupid
bad fucking thing. I really don't want that. That's not what I sit to play for, you know, and like
that's the only little thing they had in it. Um, and it was almost like an, I had mentioned in part
one where it's like darkest dungeon one, perfect game to play with only a mouse, except that you
have to hold shift to sell trinkets. And it's like, why would you have one time, one button on a
keyboard needed, but everything else is mouse only if you want it to be, you know, I'm like,
God, so close, but just this one little thing. So excellent, wonderful. Love it.
I'm trying to, I'm trying to see what does it mean that the overhaul to reduce coach handling
and to better reflect the game's identity as a strategic experience. Coach controls and
intersections have been modified. Tapping W will set the coach in motion and S will stop it.
Intersections present as click and hold decision. If you make your choice in advance,
the coach will just not slow down. But what about the collecting of road bonuses?
Cause the whole thing is still there. Cause they're still like,
if you want to swerve into road bonuses to get more shit, you have to still constantly,
you know, left and right and whatever. When it's like, no, just please let me,
you know, move forward and not care about that. Okay.
I don't think that's going to change.
The swerving. Yeah. Cause you really just like, when I get to the next branch point,
I want to make the decision at that branch point, like, if I can splay, slay the spire or whatever,
you know, like just, we get it. You roll up, there's going to be some beggars.
The stagecoach swerving is supposed to be the equivalent of moving on.
Walking with the group. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Sure.
But like, okay, but in that, if, if, if original darkest dungeon one had you walking with the
group, but then you had to do occasional pit jumping and little coins were in the air,
that's what it would be like, but you, it's not, you walk forward and you keep an eye out for traps,
but that's it. The fact, but the, this, the swerving is like, this is like jumping over pits
for coins, which I don't want when I want to get to the next thing, you know, it's, it's just a
different type of. I have a strong suspicion that the very first, the very, very, very first mod for
dragons, for darkest dungeon two will be automate the stagecoach.
Yeah. Literally the very first one.
I mean, as long as you can figure out how to like,
still get the road bonuses and not miss out on, you know, whatever you would benefit from,
if you chose to swerve, but at least they upgraded it from what it was before. So that's,
that's nice to hear. Yeah. Cool. Okay. That's it. That's it for Pat. Oh, also,
I've been watching anti Donna's coffee house. I think it's called from the Australian anti
Donna boys who put up the video on YouTube telling everyone to definitely not use a VPN to watch
their, their new coffee special off of Australian I view.
Uh, it's some kind that it's some kind of TV show they made with the Australian government
to promote some streaming service. Um, it's really funny. It's a anti Donna TV show.
Somehow you'll get it.
Anti Donna's coffee cafe. Somehow you'll find a way to watch it.
Okay. Australia or not.
Yes. I don't, are you not familiar with it? I don't know a single word you just said.
Okay. Anti Donna is an Australian sketch comedy group that mainly does YouTube stuff,
but they have made, they had a Netflix special a year or two ago, and then they also have
their new special, which is only on some Australian streaming bullshit. So definitely
don't use a VPN to watch it. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No, you're still doing British. You got to add more R.
I know. Yeah. That's not. Yeah. All right. Anyway, they're good. They're funny. They're silly
Australians. Okay. That is all. If you want to watch that stairs at this week, I'm going to do a
fucking early access shit against the storm, get to the orange door, suns of the forest,
backpack here and dread delusion. Two things. I'm also going to cover the street fighter event,
which is going to be pre hosted by Gerard and Susie, the spear hunter as well as Lil Wayne.
That, so I made the joke and I felt bad because my audience, when I made this joke, did not
understand because I said, I guess that means Street Fighter Six is now sponsored by lean.
And then I had to explain to my audience what fucking. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're in the post post
Lil Wayne era. So what's wait, what's wait, I can understand what post Lil Wayne is.
What's post post Lil Wayne? We're now in the era that is, okay, post Lil Wayne is all the people.
So I remember when Lil Wayne came out and then became a huge thing. And then there were a bunch
of kids that grew up that got inspired by Lil Wayne as the main thing at the time. I mean, for us,
it was like, you know, like Big E and Pac, whatever, back in the day. And then there was an M&M age
and then a Jay Z age and then a Kanye era, yada, yada. And then now Lil Wayne influenced a bunch
of people. Those people are now up. They have their own albums, groups, whatever and so on.
And then the people that they're inspiring afterwards, the generation after the Lil Wayne
grew up, inspired generation. Yeah. So double, double posts. Point being, man, Capcom is real,
trying real hard to get people to give a fuck about Street Fighter Six by pulling out a Lil Wayne.
I mean, it's either that or just throw more money at it. But yes.
Well, I'm sure this part of this is throwing money at it. Yeah, absolutely.
What's a little surprising is that like, they're going to show off footage of the game and they're
going to show off World Tour as you expect. But they're also saying there will be big announcements
at the end of the Street Fighter Six event. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't know what big
announcement they could possibly actually have. I don't know. But it has to be like an open beta
or something. Maybe, maybe this time we will watch Lil Wayne body Tokido. Maybe. And we'll be like,
did that just happen? And it'll be like, yeah. And then that'll be it. You know.
Is that the Lil Wayne noise? It's been a while for me.
It's inevitable. Anyway. Discord will allow Lil Wayne noises to come through.
Yeah. Yeah. Money. Yeah. You can get through the. Yeah. The filter is working. It is working.
That's good. That's good. I like that. Meanwhile, Lupe Fiasco is not, not getting
brought back for the rematch, I suppose. Oh, well. Oh, well. Anyway, if you want to see any
of that shit, go to twitch.tv slash pat stairs at. All right. I assume you'll also be covering
the Street Fighter event. I'll see. I'll see. Are you flying down to be in the Street Fighter
event? Opposing? Maybe? I don't know. I'll see. Oh. I gotta figure this out.
Okay. Well, where would people see you or not, Woolly, this week?
Well, this, yeah. Over on the, over on Woolly versus, you can tune in for more Mass Effect 3
as well as FF9. Hey, I want to, I want to stop you there for a second. Yeah, I saw a recent,
you're going through the Omega DLC, right? Oh God, yeah. Yo, what, are you feeling like this
wild riding disconnect between the rider wanting to be like, yo, Ari is so bad, dude. And you're
like, Ari is a fucking idiot. I feel like it sucks. I feel like they committed to a path in two
that they can't back down from. So now they have to follow it through with just
this ridiculous, you know, she never changes. She's just a badass bitch, boss bitch, can't be
stopped. And then her plans immediately fail. And then someone else from her, from her past
shows up and is just like, oh, fucking God, I can't believe I have to deal with this idiot again.
And she's just like, she's just hard committed, but everyone else around her fucking realizes
that she sucks. So yeah, not great, not great. It's great. It's great. What are you talking about?
It's great. It's Carrie Ann Moss, man. Come on. It's great. She's incredible. She's a bad bitch.
She's a bad bitch girl boss. She's bossing. Did you see her boss? She bossed so hard,
she couldn't even fucking. The girl bossed all over that shit. God damn, everywhere,
all over my shoes. Wow. Wow. And like, it's also a bit of that like, you know, how do you get
a big name to join the thing? You give them more stuff to do than just the little cameo, right?
For example, how do you get Idris Elba to be Knuckles? Well, you give him a Knuckles movie.
Yeah. That'll get him on board. So yeah, how do you get Carrie Ann Moss on board for,
you know, like you give her a big old. I'm the baddest fucking bitch there ever. Oh my God.
I do appreciate that there's an Elcor that's like, oh, we've got to go get her couch.
That couch is so important. Elcors are fucking fantastic. Every time there's an Elcor around,
you're like, fuck yeah, Elcor. I love them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, over on Woolly
Versus and yeah, plus of course, Clips on Woolly Versus, the algorithm, go check it out,
see what's going on, and I'll let you know. Schedule will be posted on my Twitter. How about you?
You already said it, never mind. Oh yeah, my schedule is already up on my Twitter.
Okay. Over at Twitch. Well, it's twitch.tv slash Pat stairs at Twitter. It's Pat stairs at.
Okay. Bathroom one more once again. One more once.
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That's it. Okay. I forgot to talk about one thing I did with my week. I ordered a bunch of dumb
shit shirts for assholes. I'm really excited because they make me look like a real stupid
asshole. Nice. I'm wearing one right now. Skeleton. It's a skeleton that the love sewing but hates
reaping. I get it. That's cool. I recently got a bunch of new shirts as well, but they're not new.
They're just my old ones that I can fit into again. And that feels really good.
That feels great. Yeah. There's some shit that I own that's my favorite that's locked in at like
XL or 2XL and I was rocking threes, but now I can do ones and twos and that's fucking and you know,
I kept myself. I kept those old clothes as like an incentive to be like you want to fucking rock
these again. So there was the time when we were moving us like, should I get rid of all these
big clothes or these small clothes that I can't wear? And I was like, no, keep them because
you're going to get back there. And so fucking now I can. That's fucking fantastic. Feels good.
It feels good to be able to actually hit that side of the closet up again. And as someone who's
longer a shameful part of the closet, it's now a feel good part of the closet feels good.
There's still the stuff that's just there's some stuff. Sometimes you get something where it's
like, oh, yeah, this jet set radio shirt is triple X in American apparel numbers, which is like
fucking triple X for who in what world? Like just the most insane like, like, yeah, triple X. Oh,
you mean a size two? Exactly. Right. Lies and bullshit. But no, it's nice. And then the big
old stuff from from, you know, being a larger size kids now just be a loose fitting shirt, which
personally, I don't mind because that's what I've been doing most of my life. So yeah.
That's that's nice. Feels good.
I still remember at like, I'm still I'm still like fairly still got like a fat part on me.
But like, I was much fatter. And I remember the part where like, I went to the store to get a
belt and I like, I have to go home and order it off Amazon. And I was like, oh, that feels really
bad. Yeah. See, I don't think we have because America has like big stores for big men big full
they have big and tall and DXL. And I don't think we I don't know if we have those here. I've never
seen them. There is a big and tall store in in Montreal. It's okay on it's on Wellington.
I know this because I had to go there to get my pants because not because not this is the saddest
part not because of my waistline, but because of my tiny legs and my waistline. Interesting.
Okay. Because like when I like when I wear like a normal man's pants, like I'm talking like full
extra foot, you're having it up going down my legs, dude. It's embarrassing. I look like a
little child. Yeah. I've also haven't bought clothes in brick and mortar in at least five
plus years, though, to be honest. I just got hit up on the fucking Instagram algorithm. And
those fuckers know me so well that I'm like, God damn it. Yes, I'm buying those Ava shoes.
You got me. Yeah, I saw those. And when I wonder how long until Woolly tells me he bought these.
I think the answer is apparently about 10 days. They knew me. They know me too well. That that's
one website that I can't be trusted browsing through those fucking ads. They fucking know exactly
what I want to wear. And that's pretty much what I'm what I've been on for the last while.
Um, actually, and I forgot to mention, too.
The I full feature length Jet Set Radio documentary has just come out by one K is they
on Twitter and on YouTube as well, basically going into the history of Jet Set Radio and
talking to a number of people involved in its creation, talking to getting not to mention
too mellow sat down to discuss the the the music and the history and the love and all that stuff.
So go check that out as well. It's awesome. They they spoke to the the some of the people on the
soundtrack. Shout out to the girl in aisle 10. All of that over on K is they. So yeah, you fucking
tell me you want to talk about Jet Set Radio and you stick a camera in my face. I'm going to sit
there and yell about it until you hit the stop button. It's real simple. You know, Woolly,
you mentioning Jet Set Radio has has reminded me of something else I wanted to talk about.
Lovely, but it's all it's only a tiny bit. It's I talked about Lunacid and we talked about
Ultra Kill, right? And one of the games I'm playing this week is called Dread Delusion.
And you know what I'm really thrilled about for like 15 years, if you wanted to make like a
really indie game, it was like, Hey, dude, what if this game came out on the Super Nintendo,
but you didn't know about it was the was the feeling, right? What if this was a long lost
Super Nintendo game? And now we're finally at the part where it is just as likely like,
Hey, what if this was a fake ass PlayStation one game?
Like it has fully moved over the generation has jumped forward. We are now at like a
a glut of fake ass PlayStation games with the horrible texture warping
and and the fucking the weird scan lines. I love it. I fucking love it. And I love it.
And I feel like survival horror indie games figured that out probably before anyone else did.
Like Lost in Vivo is what jumps into my mind first.
Yeah. So each shit war inspector.
This means that in about 10 more years, you know, we're going to get we're going to get some fake
ass PS2 games. That's you've got to wait a little bit. But yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
Talking about with jaggies. Yeah, I keep I kick the resolution up, up, up. It's still jagged his
shit. I don't know what. Why? Oh, God.
What was I playing that had fake loading? Something had fake loading.
I would say all of the games I have played that look like this, that have any loading at all,
fake loading, like Ludicent has a loading screen that's like a spinning disk. Yeah. And it's like
two seconds long and it goes from 4% to 100% in a second. I'm like, there's no, you don't have to
do that. That's fucking bullshit. Like I'm something like Bloodborne PSX had some loading
in it that was possibly fake. I think it was fake loading in Bloodborne PSX because it was just like
there's no way, right? Like you're actually you don't need to load this. You didn't come on
megabyte. Get out of my fucking face. I think that's what it was. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay. What's going on? What's going on? Okay. Well, we got a, you know, not a ton popping
off this week, but some weird stories coming in. Yeah. Okay. So apparently Microsoft had a
lifetime Game Pass subscription prize. Yeah, I heard about this. This is fucking stupid.
That they were offering and someone won. Yeah, I'm going to get free video games forever.
Literally a lifetime subscription pass. What that means is legal lifetime, of course, the same
the terms that a lottery has. So it's 40 years of your Xbox Game Pass, you know, whatever.
The fine print, which the winner read, specified that the value approximately is $7,300 in taxable
income that they would be winning that would not be covered as part of the prize. And therefore,
they would have to pay for that on their current year's tax return income, increasing it by a solid
1,400 bucks or so. It was like, yeah. And they don't have 1,400 bucks to just throw away on
video games. So they're like, no thanks. Thanks, but no thanks, Microsoft. I won't be taking it
because the IRS is going to come after me otherwise. So you know what my favorite version of the story
is? A lot of people are too young to know this, but Miss Oprah Winfrey once had her anniversary
episode and an Oprah Winfrey's anniversary episode, she said, Hey, guess what, bitches?
Everybody in the fucking audience gets bees. No, it wasn't bees. It was a free car.
Every single person in the audience gets a free car and it's counted as a lottery win,
which meant all those people went home with their free cars and then got contacted for the IRS
to pay the tax on the fucking car they won, which was like eight grand in like 1995.
So all of them were like, fuck, I got to sell the car so I could pay for the car that I won.
It's crazy. It's stupid. And yeah, obviously anyone who's like looking at that is like, well,
that'd be nice, but fuck off, right? I can't now you put debt on me that I didn't have. So
yeah, that's the one thing. I recently I was I was hearing with Mr. Beast obviously has had
these videos and stuff, right? And there's there's something where it popped up recently where it
was like, oh, like, there's a waitress that want a car. And it was like, it was like a
festival themed car or whatever. And it was like, ah, all right, there's the big logo on it. But
it's a car. That's nice. You didn't have a car. Cool. And it's like, all right. But like,
are we are we gearing up for Oprah part two? Here we go. Here drive this ad around for me. And it's
going to be fucking just a debt on you that you didn't have. No, apparently he pays for all the
taxes. So covers that part of it. It's like, oh, and then he blinded her for a video. And then
they're like, okay, but what if also they already she had one and or didn't like, what if that was
just not going to be something that she had no parking or couldn't fix? Oh, yeah. And also all
the prizes can be traded in for the cash value if they wanted to as well. Oh, wonderful. Oh,
well, fuck. Okay. That's pretty decent, right? So nice. Yeah. So you're just if you're going to do
this type of shit, Microsoft, at the very least, offer to cover the taxes that the person's income
is going to get blown the fuck out for getting this prize. Because like, you know, it's really bad
for your PR stunt when somebody gives up the prize and says, I don't want it. Right. It makes it
look valueless. Right. But regardless, you if for it to actually be a prize, give them the option.
If you're spending the money anyway for the promotion or whatever the case is, cool. Make
it as stress free as stress free on the person as it appears to be, because it appears as if
they win a thing and yay, they get the thing and that's all there is to it. But the fine print
always makes it shitty. So do your best with your giant wealth to fucking get rid of the fine print
for them. You know. So anyway, yeah, so this prize gets turned down stupid as fuck. And it's
interesting too, because the other things on the fine print were like so it's 40 years of game pass,
but you could also cash it out for a cash prize that equals there's not going to be fucking 40
years of fucking game pass, you fucking liars. So you can cash it out for the approximate value
of 180 per year for the cost of a game pass subscription over the course of 40 years or
whatever. It's like, what? Like, what is the like, we'll see what what what fucking what happens
to the Xbox Live service game pass service in that period of time. But fucking bullshit.
Yeah, yeah. You're gonna discontinue fucking game pass in 36 months.
Sometimes sometimes when shit gets grandfathered in, though, it's actually like a wild bargain at
the at the the early phase. But in this particular instance, man, pay for the fucking taxes.
Yeah. All right. So we touched on it a little earlier. But yeah, they basically just announced
as of this morning, knuckles, chuckles is getting full on spin off his own movie. And sure. Yeah.
I think by setting that up, then you obviously get to the fourth movie, which is Sonic and Knuckles.
Yes, that's correct. You know, so. And then Tails is also there, but he doesn't get top
billing because never gets top deals. Nope. Sure. That's fine. I also saw that this is
hand in hand with Sega buying fucking Rovio. Yeah, that's a little late on that, guys.
So this is what I'm curious about, because once upon a time, that would have been like,
holy fucking shit, it's Sega bought Mojang. But it's not, right? Because Angry Birds is kind of
over that hill. Where are they at now? Three quarters of a billion dollars.
That's still that's the chunk 775 mil. That's us. That's still a chunk. But the company behind
Angry Birds. But Angry Birds, I want to say, stopped being as massively relevant. Probably
bit before that movie got announced. I remember hearing that Angry Birds. Oh, here it is.
Yeah, Angry Birds, like in its in its fucking rollout has become like an absolute fucking pile
of shit. It's really funny. But you know, it probably doesn't matter, though. Like you don't
make an acquisition like this unless it's going to be worth it, right? And the idea that Angry
Birds is not as talked about as much might, but it doesn't have to be probably. I could see it
being a situation where people just passively still play it and it makes a bunch of money in
the background, regardless. Like this many people know what it is. This many people already have
it on their phone. And this many people are already just playing a fucking phone game that's,
you know, well known compared to others on any given app store. It might continue. It might
still be just like massively worth it, regardless if we hear about it or not. The announcement
of the buying was like full of that complete fucking piece of shit where we're buying them to
fully leverage their expertise in mobile, free to play, fucking diversify. Like, you know, that
fucking garbage so they don't just say I bought it for the IP or we bought it so that we get the
passive income or whatever the fuck. So Sega is saying that Rovio is going to help them make
video games at Sega. I say that is a lie. Broke. We bought Rovio to make money. Woke. We bought
it for Angry Birds crossovers. Be spoke. We bought it so that we could make an Angry Birds waifu
in the new upcoming Sega is Evil game. I don't think that's the reality, but I like it better.
So we'll go with that. That thing's coming out, man. Yoko Taro's doing it. I know it's coming
out. It's like there's trailers happening for the Sega is Evil and has taken over the world game.
Like here's your waifus. What's the fucking call? Error. Error. Reload. 404.
404 game reset. Yeah. There. Yeah. What a fucking terrible fucking name. Crazy.
I'm just going to call it the Evil Sega game because that's the fucking thing.
Yeah, sure. Good enough. Yeah. I wonder if he pitched it to Square and they said get the
fuck out of my office and he rolled on the floor and then he took it to various companies until
Sega finally bit. Sega's like, yeah, sure, whatever. We don't know how to fucking make any money.
Just fucking do it. I don't care. Yeah. So I mean, at the very least, you're going to see
you're going to see a fucking Sonic head as a throwable bird and you're going to see
an angry bird maybe in a future Sega All-Stars racing thing.
Or fucking to cure you can fucking play it on his phone. Yeah. Yeah.
And like a very and various other things that continue to only live on in cameo form like monkey
ball and and jetset and shit. It'll just be that you can roll a giant angry bird.
That was so fucking weird. There's like a not insignificant amount of the plot in
murder of Sonic the Hedgehog that involves a bunch of the characters being super good at
super monkey ball. Nice.
You check out that new tears of the kingdom trailer.
Yeah, I did. Matt Mercer gets to begin and good for him.
Okay. That Ganon rehydrated hydro homie Ganon fully, fully
thirst is no longer a factor. Now that Ganon is hydrated, everyone else has become thirsty.
Yeah.
That is the second best Ganon fucking design in my opinion. Which is your favorite.
Hyrule Warriors. Yeah, that's pretty good.
They give him the the the lion's mane beast dreads like the the full Ganon form,
but Dorf is rocking it. The fusion of the two. Awesome. This one is top that second place
because it's the long hair idea again just looks really great on him. He's got the
build of like, you know, Twilight Princess, but the half kind of robe that is kind of queuing
Wind Waker a little bit as well looks super, super fucking sick, man. And
that that little opening line, not too bad as well. Do not look away. You witness a king's
revival. Fuck yeah. And also we're going to get hang out with Prince Sidon.
So this trailer kind of shows you that the voice acting is back and heavier than ever.
Full commit, right? It's been a while since I've played Breath of the Wild. So like,
I vaguely, I feel like the voice acting was present, but sparse is what I recall.
Right. The trailer here is giving the impression that there's going to be a bunch more of it.
Yeah, probably. Because most of the story in Breath of the Wild was flashbacks
to the time before the calamity, whereas these are all going to be like active right now, shit.
And, you know, besides all the standard Breath of the Wild things going down,
I guess they're showing off like little army building mode and robot fighting.
They show off a lot of weird shit in that. They show like Link putting wheels on a big rock
and using it as like the shittiest Mecha ever made.
Yeah. Yeah. Mecha battles. Absolutely.
It's just a rock with like a little arm on it.
There's a Death Star. There's. Yeah, fuck it.
A bunch of shit. Put this put this rock on this stick, Willie. Just put the rock on the stick.
Orcologic, 40K style. Yeah, absolutely. Just believe in it.
Yeah, no. I'm, you know, looks cool. Oh, mission impossible fucking
Ethan Hunt laser descending, you know, missions. All sorts of silly shit. Yeah.
Yeah. But and some a couple of characters as well that are pretty pretty cool and just random NPC
designs. I like this kind of like Breath of the Wild art style, but like more tribal and like
primal elements, you know, the exposed arm tattoo, the wilder hair, the yeah, the warrior kind of
aesthetic kind of going over what we already got introduced to pretty cool.
Um, I at the same time, uh, hope that like it makes sense to make better use of any given
Zelda engine that takes a long time to work on to get a sequel out of it directly, make your
Majora's Mask. We're probably going to be using this for a while. Well, how long is a while?
Right. Because the proposition of a new Zelda game to progeneration, maybe three,
every one of them being different is way too expensive. You can't do that anymore.
Do you have to make a trilogy out of Breath of the Wild and then switch it up once you switch
generations? I don't know. Like it's, it's like the same map, but it's a sequel version of the
same map. And that's already annoying a lot of people. I don't perceive, particularly see any
issues. I assume it's going to be like more or less completely different just by being the same
landmass. Well, new is good, but I also set my expectations for, yeah, that you wouldn't get
another game if they had to do it all again. You know, like this game is based on the fact
that they laid out the groundwork and can remix it. Like Tears of the Kingdom is basically, um,
what's it called? Um, Super Mario Galaxy 2 in what, in that it was supposed to be DLC
and then they just kept making it and making it. And then they're like, well, now this is too big
to be DLC. It's now, it's now a whole game. Yeah. I'm, I'm, I'm okay with that, that silk song,
Majora's Mask-esque, you know, way of going, uh, about it. But, uh, it just, I feel like if it were
to be a brand new, like entry entirely, uh, it would have, we would have to wait even more years
slash wait for a next gen, you know, like it'd have to be a crazy amount of time to commit to it.
So, um, and it was fun, you know, I could, I could jump back into that.
Um, I particularly think though that like I'm down for it, given that I didn't go back in too
hard on the DLC and stuff. Yeah. I played that shit to death when it came right out and then
dropped it and never went back. So there's been time for me to build up that like desire to return.
Yeah. Also, you mentioned silk song. I know, I know, I know everyone did. I said the word silk
song and everyone went, uh, and it's, and it's, it's, it's making me sad that like what was once a
holy shit, this was free DLC that they fucking turned into a sequel because they worked, went so
hard on it. And now we're getting that same, that same thing you love, which is they go so hard,
they don't know when to stop is now becoming it's, it's a forever game. Like as of, wow,
I just looked this up as of a couple of weeks ago. Team Cherry has confirmed that it will come out in
2023. I'm sorry, doorbell again. Oh yeah. Right. So, uh, I'm just going to pretend that I didn't
fucking hit the stairs there. Um, oh no. No, no, no, it's good. It's good. Deep breaths.
It's getting better because you fucking do it every day and then you, um, your cardio improves.
I feel like stairs are the number one obvious thing for me when I got slightly fitter where
going up to like, it was at the point where I was like, oh, I gotta fucking go up. God,
damn it. And then I was like, oh, I'll just go get something upstairs.
Yeah. I remember when I used to take the stairs manually instead of the escalator going to
tech game QA back in the day and like doing that for about a month or two straight and then I could
make it to the top and not be allowed to breath. I was like, that's crazy. That's such an instant
thing. And then, um, hearing about it. So my mom, I remember she's like, yeah, at one point she,
she stopped going downstairs because they just kind of like, they were, uh, like renting it out to
somebody. And, um, in that time, just living on one floor, she's like, oh, the next time she had to
take like a single flight or two, she's like, oh, I started to feel it. You know, so it's like, you
gotta keep that in your life in some way, shape or form because it degrades instantly and gets worse
over time. Um, mom in law also like moved into a place that had very, from a, from having massive
tons of stairs to having none and then like could barely kind of like get down to like tie a shoelace
at a certain point, you know, like over time you need those, you need those men. Anyway, um,
um, so yeah, uh, Tears of the Kingdom, um, Hot Ganon and, uh, Matt Mercer, who I believe
played Ganon back in the day from like an early, one of his, uh, an early like a fan series that he
did. So it's like, there's like a, like a full circle element to that kind of coming, coming back
around as well. That's cool. Um, okay. So anyone who caught wind of the fact that, uh, Donna Burke
was doing something snake eater related. Um, I saw it. Yeah. Just, just fault, false alarm.
A snake eater remake is not happening. Uh, that was just a fan thing that was being done for fun.
Cause Donna Burke, who is the, uh, vocalist, uh, uh, no, no, that's Cynthia Harrell. Donna Burke
is, uh, Heaven's Divide. Oh, my mistake. And, uh, she basically tweeted out a picture of her
like holding a little snake eater thing going like back in the studio and everyone went,
uh, and they made a gross noise and then, uh, it turned out to be actually just nothing for fun.
But that, that alarm is one of, it's no, it's not one of just like, oh, excitement or hype.
It's confusion, panic and fear because the idea that anything Metal Gear related after survive
in the form of any remake, any whatsoever snake involved anything is just, we hope and pray that
Konami understands, let the, let the franchise die forever. It'll be too weird otherwise, but
you know, that's not going to happen. Like we're going to have an eventually, uh, uh,
appealing off of the bandaid with an attempt to do something Metal Gear related without Kojima.
But it was scary for a second to think, uh-oh, they're actually going to fucking do it. They're
going to do it, you know, and then are they going to reach out to all the voice actors and all the
people and all the, you know what I mean? Like, are you going to try to do it behind Koji's back
or what's the, what's the, what's the play? It's such a mess that I can see people just
not wanting to come back, not wanting to sign up for that. So I think their best play is to kind
of leave it alone. Um, and so far they have. I think that if there's a game series that is
old and dead and that you worked on it, you should not make anything else because it will get people
so upset. I mean, I think no, you know, they can get away with, you know, they can get away with,
they can get away with porting it to future consoles, right? And like kind of just
getting their money in that way. I would think it would be really nice if, um, MGS1
and the HD collection games like one, two, three and four got put out as like a modern
product that would be backwards compatible going forward because, um, it has become extra stupid
because every time I'm like, should I play the Metal Gear games on stream?
I then look into what I would have to do and I go, I don't fucking want to do that
specifically for MGS4. I look at the MGS4 part and I'm like, uh, fucking PS3, Jesus, shit.
Does that 3DS, uh, Snake Eater, like does that surpass the original?
Or kind of those weird situations where it's always going to be in 240p. Yeah.
Yeah. You know, just that, I think, I think that's how they can like cash in and not like
upset fucking everybody is just port it, make money on the ports and, and, and, and that's it.
Just leave it, leave it in that nebula state. Um, yeah.
Nah, mixed bag on the 3DS version. Oh, okay. Yeah, I don't know. I bought it. I popped it in,
but I never actually went through it. So, um, interesting. All right. So, yeah, false alarm on
that. Uh, in the meantime, though, I can tell you a remake that, uh, uh, everyone's on board with.
What's that? Fuck a Dead Space remake. How about a Dead Space Demake?
Get it while it's hot.
Over, i.e. still available. Yeah. Over on free game planet. There's a Dead Space Demake, which, uh,
looks like shit and it's great. Boy, it looks like shit. Love it. Oh man. Love it. You want to talk
about PS one, but imaginary PS one that's way too sharp. Right. Yeah. Because you can tell,
because that's, that's the, that's the thing. I mean, I'll never forget when shovel night talked
about how cheating on the Ness, uh, cheating in shovel night worked where they're like, these
look like nest sprites, but they're moving and they're more colorful and they're way more animated
than they ever could have been back then. They cheated a little, right? On shovel night. Um,
and when you, you look at some of the demake stuff here where it's like, okay, this is PS one poly
count, but the resolution is way too crisp for a PS one game. I'm familiar with the fucking games
this thing is emulating. No fucking way that this, these CG backgrounds would look anywhere near this
good. Like he picks up an item and it looks fantastic. No, it should look like shit. It's
sort of like dog balls. But, uh, yeah, no, it's, it's a quick little PS one style demake and, uh,
it's just, it's 20 minutes where you pretty much only use the plasma cutter, which is all you need,
of course. Yeah. Um, so yeah, if you want to check that out, uh, it's, it's, it's up on free game
planet. Um, a couple other things. Uh, yeah. Well, you touched on, you mentioned Street Fighter
six, the showcase that's going to drop, uh, in a couple of days. Um, in addition to, uh, the,
the, the wheezy announcement, as well as, uh, other bomb shells, whatever those may be.
Um, something cool, technical is that, uh, people spotted that Street Fighter six has been uploaded
to, uh, the Xbox game store in partitioned downloads and something that's been a problem
with Street Fighter, uh, and other fighting games, to be honest. Um, Guilty Gear and Arxist games
have always been amazing with their, um, their sizes, their compression. They've been really,
really great coming in under 10 gigs in a lot of cases, really small and just not that much of a
footprint on your hard drive, whereas Street Fighter plus all the DLC plus all the characters
and stages and everything blots up over the years to be fucking huge, almost call of duty
sized on your, on your console. Um, it gets egregious. So what they have done with six is split
up fighting ground, world tour and other into different, uh, partitions, which you can choose
to install or uninstall as needed. So that when you're done for, say, for world tours, fucking
get rid of it because you're never going back there, right? Uninstalled to a world tour,
reclaim a bunch of your, your hard drive space. Um, good. Yeah. Uh, this is of course,
you know, a half step. The best thing you could possibly do is once again, Arxist style,
compress the fuck out of your game and make it just, you know, do, do, do the magic compression.
But if you can't and you're doing this instead, then all right, uninstall the bloat. Um, if you're
just going to be playing online once you're done with the other modes, then, uh, this is a,
this is a pretty decent compromise as well. So, uh, I appreciate that because man,
it gets rough because there's, there's permanent installation. Like I'm like,
I can't uninstall fucking street fighter at any point on my goddamn hard drive. But
like as I'm going through various games for the channel and so on, like it just, it gets rough,
man, you know? Um, so, you know, the fact that I'm offloading stuff onto PC as well is helpful.
But yeah, this is a decent, this is a decent compromise. But this mortal combat, um,
KOF, really just like all of these games are just so fucking bloated, man, on the downloads. And
you go install anything Arxist puts out and it's just a fraction of that size. And you're like,
guys, like, figure this shit out, man. Is it the cell shading? You know, is the cell shading
like cutting off all the fucking, you know, like, is that where all the space is being saved? Like,
what are we doing? You know, it's funny because over the weekend I, uh, I was on Casey Explosions
stream. She's doing a charity stream for, um, Irish homeless people. Um, and, uh, we played
Deep Rock Galactic on it, which is an awesome, you know, you've seen it, Rock and Stone, the
Dwarf, Left 4 Dead mining game. Um, and, uh, Deep Rock Galactic is like, I want to say it's like
three gigs. Like it's, it's insanely fucking small. It is, I can't even local files. It's 2.9 gigs,
uh, despite being a gigantic fucking game. Um, because it's, they, they have, they spent their,
their process wisely and a lot of it is a procedurally generated or, or what have you. And
it's just like, it's such a bummer to me. I have fast internet, right? I assume you have fast
internet also, but every now and then I go to download a game, like a new game. It's like,
over an hour. And I'm like, how long does this fucking take for somebody with not super fast
internet? Like six hours? So then you have to, you play the wonderful game of like,
hey, what if, uh, oh, I really like to play this. Oh, I don't have room. I'll have to delete something.
But if I delete it, then I won't be able to play it again that day. I'll be able to,
uh, fuck, fuck. It's stupid. It's dumb as shit. Like nobody compresses fucking nothing. It's stupid.
Yeah. Um, like, I remember, you know, back in compliance days, it was like, oh, the new, the
new, um, plot consoles are going to allow quick start. So you can start after a partial installation.
Oh, yeah. And then the rest is going to come later.
Quick start my fucking balls.
And then it's man, it's mandatory, right? Just like you, the player has to be able
to start the game's most basic modes right away after a minimal installation, frontload that,
and then everything afterwards. You're like, okay, cool. I get it. Cause this whole installation
process sucks because back in the day, games didn't have an installation process. So how
do we kind of, you know, keep games immediate without going through Metal Gear Solid 4 is
fucking, uh, I hope you have five hours to kill a wildest game installs. Um, and in practice,
it's like, okay, you're supposed to be able to start the adventure and everything's going to
be fine. And you won't even notice while their background shit happens and an execution, it
completely fucking falls apart and nine times out of 10. It's like, look, it'll boot to the main menu.
Hey, do you want, like story is here, but don't shut up. Go set your settings up.
Go, go, you can start your settings. You can, you can turn your subtitles on if you'd like,
you know, or sometimes you can get started, but it's like, Oh, did you want to,
did you want to like use a different difficulty or switch to a different character? No, no,
no, fuck off with that. And also like, because it's actually using the hard drive, um,
it's suddenly the download speed just shits itself. Yeah. A million things go wrong with
that front loaded quick to play start thing. And it just, whatever, but because it's mandatory,
they, they, you know, they give it an afterthought. So like in this particular instance now, where
you have, uh, yeah, like it's just like that was supposed to be a feature that, you know,
kept games feeling immediate and it completely didn't work. And now you just have like this
type of shit where you're just like, man, it's, it's, we're never going back to the way it was,
right? Stick the cartridge or the disk in and press play. Like it's just, that's,
that's done. Installation is here to stay. Um, and also, um, your car drive, you know,
you got a hundred gigs. That's cool. That'll fit you, um, as many indies as you want or
your three favorite triple A's. Enjoy.
What is Ragnarok? How big is Ragnarok? I don't even
fucking
it is fucking big. It is a big motherfucking game.
It's dumb. So yeah, I guess this is the new way then we're just going to have to go with like
uninstall areas one and two so that three and four can be played. It's better than,
than not that. Yeah. No, I know they're pointing out, Hey, uh, Jedi survivors coming out. You
want to play Jedi survivor? Do you have a hundred and fifty five gigs free?
You know what? I'm going to go look at something. Uh, the worst optimized game for in terms of
space ever is a game you have worked on. Oh, let's go. It is the force unleashed. Oh,
it is to my knowledge, the worst optimized game I have ever seen in my life in terms of space.
I'm trying to find the actual gig amount here to surpass a call of duty game.
Because remember it's, it's for its time. Okay. Right. So it came out in 2009
and it was like 35 gigs or some shit. Um, and the, the reason of note is because like 90% of
its file size was the hard coded HD cutscenes with every languages subtitles put on. Yeah. Yeah.
Best majority of its file size is like e figs, like language subtitles on the same
install a bank codec. It ain't hard. Get some middleware you assholes for the love of God.
Stick a fucking bank logo in the beginning and cut that shit down, man.
Dear God, dude. It's, yeah, it's kind of because it's just, it's like whatever,
whoever's working on it, that was like, it depends on how much they know about, you know,
optimizing their shit, man. That's, that's crazy. That's crazy.
Uncompressed, raw textures uploaded to the fucking, to the build in raw format.
I still think call of duty is doing it on purpose. I genuinely, genuinely think call of duty, um,
war zone has its, its file sizes that large on purpose so that you can't install
like fortnight. You deny other games. Something else. Cause dude, it's, dude, it is so big.
I remember we did a story on it that there was like a version of war zone that couldn't be installed
on one of the X boxes because it would take up more than 100% of the large right. It's, it's
absurd. It's totally fucking absurd. Um, you know, random side note, completely apropos of
nothing. Uh, I was looking at door door fortress. That shit's $40 for what it is. Does that seem
like, yeah, I came in spin and development for 20 years. Yeah. Does that seem, is that, yeah.
Is that right? Yeah. If, if that's what you want, then yeah, I don't want it for 40, but
yeah. Why, why'd this come up? You were just looking at steam. Just looking at steam.
Yeah. No, uh, I can't, I was like, I expected to click on this page and see like 10, 15.
Wow. Okay. It has been in development for like decades. Okay. And they always sold it for
a pittance through their, their, their fucking website. Yeah. Which this is not dollars is for
graphics for the, for the graphics. Okay. You're paying CAD so that the game has graphics. Right.
And a mouse interface. The original version of it was not this. No, it was, it was ASCII,
rather in price, in price. The original was like, I don't know what the fuck it was actually. Was
it free? You get to buy it on their goddamn website. Oh, it's free. Oh, it's free. Oh, so,
okay. It's $40 after 15 to 20 years. Right. We're cashing out because they put graphics on.
Okay. All right, fair. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. No, I'm okay with that. Fine. Cool. All right. Real quick.
Suicide Squad killed the Justice League, delayed to February of 2024.
I wish people listening in the audio version could see the look on my face. That was a fist pump.
That is so funny that I saw a fist pump in there. That is so like full calendar year development
like decided the week after they show the game for the first time, they did not get the reaction
they wanted. Boy, howdy. Oh, man. Okay. Now, what is the Rocksteady release
pattern usually look like here? That was Arkham, then Arkham, then Arkham, then this.
Of course. What were the years between them? Oh, the years? Oh, this is what I'm wondering about.
Let's see Rocksteady games. Shout outs to Urban Chaos, one of the first games I ever
fucking touched in QA. Okay. That's what I call zero tolerance. 2007, Arkham City 2009,
2011. 2009 is when Arkham Asylum came out. Is it? 2009 Arkham Asylum, 2011 City, 2015 Night,
and 2016 VR, and then 2024, killed the Justice League. Okay. So it's eight years. The gap has
been the gap has been the gap. So currently we're at seven years. Hey, Woolly, I have followed
this industry for a long, long, long time and I love learning about this, but you actually worked
in it. It's my understanding. Please correct me if I'm wrong. There's a certain point in time
in development in which more dev is good and you're like, yeah, more dev, yeah, take your time.
And then that goes from, yeah, take your time. And there's like a really soft line that they cross
where more dev time goes, oh, this is a fucking disaster. And I want to say that time is five
years. Every day added after five years, you're like, uh-oh. Oh no. Oh, they're remaking the
whole thing again, aren't they? So it depends on the ingredients of that, of that time extension,
because there's three things you can be doing with your time. You can be spending it on the
pie that of like a time extension can be made up of polish. It can be made up of,
God, brain fart, sorry, polish. It can be
feature creep. Right. Feature creep happens, yeah. Or it can be drawing board. Okay. So
you saw the Suicide Squad kill the Justice League gameplay presentation. I didn't watch it actually.
Oh, you didn't? Oh, well, it looked like shit. What do you say that a game that's about to come out
says that we're going to take another 10 months for polish only?
I mean, if anything. What's your level of belief on that?
That, it's pause. That could be. It could be something where they were asking for more time
for a long time and then Warner was like, no, you have deadlines to hit and we're going to show
this off and we're going to do all of our press touring and so on. And then with the reception
came a, hmm, okay, maybe, right? Because it wouldn't have been an instantaneous, uh-oh,
oh, no, turn this truck around type thing. It would have been something that Rocksteady was
likely fighting for for a while. But after eight years.
Yeah, we're moving from seven years to eight years now.
You know, like,
we, you get into this, this world of Bayo threes and Duke Nukem forever is where
God knows what kind of fires are going on behind the scenes. But that, that's no longer just polish
and, and, and fucking, uh, um, feature feature creep is not a thing at that point. There's your
feature. It's my assumption that there's drawing board involved in that, which creates problems.
It's my assumption that, um, you remember the leak happened and the leak was like,
look at all this live service garbage. There certainly was that.
And there was like the, the pre worry and then it got shown and it was like,
oh, it's all there. That's all real. And then the reaction was fairly negative.
But like, you can't just, even with a year, you can't just rip all that shit out. Can you?
Is that even fucking possible? Like drawing board, right? You tell, you just, but then,
but then, or, or, or, or you just hide the numbers and go, Oh, nevermind. Don't worry.
You're like, you just take, you know, like you could do it that way if you want, but it's just
wild. Cause like it's one of those, those dangers of like not showing the game until it's like
almost done, I guess, because like, cause we like that, right? But then they showed the game
and it's like, Hey, look, it's King shark shooting a gun and Harley charting shooting a
gun and dead shot shooting a gun and captain boomerang not throwing a boomerang. He's
shooting a gun. And it ended up being like not what anyone even thought it would be.
It ended up being like the most cynical possible interpretation of what that game could be.
Yeah. To get rid of, to get rid of all that shit, dude, like in a meaningful way that
just pulling loot, shlooting out of it entirely starting, you're starting from scratch. A bunch
of shit is beginning to rebalance from scratch. It's only, oh, there's only one game I can think
of that we can, we know for certain got the live service stuff pulled out and that's shadow of
war. Do you remember that? Did it? The middle of middle earth, the middle earth stuff. Yeah.
Horribly, horribly fucking microtransaction out. They actually
redid all of it and pulled all of that shit out and deleted the store and rebalanced the whole
game. I'm trying to find out how long they, so they took for that. So I was going to say that
this giant gap in the development that we're looking at here from rocksteady, like is WB
probably like the fact that Gotham Knights exists. Is that sort of a like, okay, well,
there was this game though. So it's not as big of a deal because we still had a Batman thing come out
in the last couple as opposed to just like there was nothing since Arkham Knight.
So I checked it was about, it was October to July. So it was
October to July. How long is that? October's month nine,
10 to July, which is seven. So that's nine months. It took them nine months to pull out
all the microtransaction shit out of shadow of war.
That's highly specifically similar to the timeline we're talking about for this.
Maybe they will pull it all out. Wouldn't that be funny? Wouldn't that be hilarious?
So what, what they showed off yesterday, did it have any inkling of that stuff?
Or was it all just like, Oh, they didn't show nothing.
They showed off that gameplay thing like a month ago.
Okay. But the whole Captain Boomerang shit, they didn't,
they didn't show any video going further into detail on all that.
Oh, they did. They showed off like you can get all sorts of armor and guns that have
all the borderland stats you never want. Okay. Okay.
It's, oh dude, it's disgusting. It's like, it's like every shitty thing of every modern game that
you don't want put into your Batman game. It like reads like parody.
Like there's a, there's a part where they're like, Oh no, we're going to have to stop the flash.
What are we going to do Harley? I know we'll shoot the big, the big purple monster boil
with our borderlands guns while crackdown swinging around when, Oh, you've got 20% extra poison,
King shark. Oh my God. It's like, fuck it. Oh my God. It's,
yeah, somebody in the chat says this game looks cynical as fuck. It looks cynical as fuck.
Because it's, it's, it's four player Arkham, right? That's, that's the, no, no, no, it's crackdown
with borderlands guns and destiny live service hooks.
Okay. Like, I don't know. Maybe it's just me, but I was under the impression and I think that was
the average person's impression when people go, Hey, Rocksteady's making a suicide swad game. Oh,
okay. What are the characters? The guy with the gun, Harley Quinn, King shark and Captain Boomerang.
Oh, so one character is going to shoot guns. The other character is going to use like Batman
gadgets. The other one's going to have a melee fighter and then there's going to be one that's
the extra different thing. No, they're all guns. They're all just fucking, they're all just borderlands
characters. Well, you're going to shoot Batman with a gun, woolly, and you're going to like it.
Well, see you next year. Yeah. Interesting.
All right. Anyway, and out of fucking nowhere, I don't even pretend you don't have to know or
even think about remembering what this was, but there is there is something called the
IGS collection was announced for Switch, and this includes a bunch of random fucking games
from IGS, including the fighting game Marshal Masters, which you may recall, but probably not,
as they really nicely animated out of nowhere, Wong Fei-Hung style fighting game with the
drunken master. The guy who's doing the drunken master sequence into getting to fighting games
intro is from Marshal Masters. Obscure as fighting game and then some beat-em-ups and stuff, which
is really nice animation for God knows what reasons. I don't know where or why this shit came out
of nowhere, but it looks really, really nice. Anyway, it's that that collection is out and
available on Switch. Nobody asked for it, but here it is. I definitely didn't ask for it.
Yeah, and apparently it's got online as well. I don't know if it's rollback,
confirmed or not, but like this thing that you didn't know existed, here it is. I bring it up
because it's really nice sprite work, like noteworthy. In detail, if you haven't seen it,
Marshal Masters, check it out.
I'm not going to do that.
Okay, well, that's fine. I'm talking through you. That's okay.
Any other news stories this week?
Take some letters.
Well, before we get to that, well, I really got to say something about the letters.
I feel like the letters this week, like I can just feel it in my gut.
They're really soulless compared to the letters from last week.
Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I'm trying to say here?
They're soulless. I don't know.
Your volume is...
No, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. These letters are a masterpiece. They're clearly a masterpiece.
They're going to be great. They're going to be a masterpiece.
No, wait, I'm just kidding. They're soulless again. They're soulless.
They're ridiculous. They're totally without soul. No, no soul here.
Why are you turning your volume down?
Well, you see, Woolly,
a really, really funny video came out this week.
Really funny. You know, Crobcat?
Yeah, did the review... What was the video? What do they eat?
No, you're thinking of Mr. B-Tongue. No, Crobcat's the guy who
makes videos that are just compilations of clips from like E3 and whatnot.
Oh, that's right. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember those. Yes, yes.
So he made a video called a soul versus soulless,
Resident Evil 4 comparison over the weekend, which compared various elements and like shot,
contrast shot from RE4 remake to the original. Okay.
And it was, you know, just a comparison description says make your own conclusions.
And it was like, it was really crazy because like the RE4 original clips
like looked really good and had really excellent ambient audio and cool music.
And then all the RE4 remake clips had like no ambient audio at all and like no music
and had all these missing features and shit. And it was really sad.
And it was like, oh, wow, they really didn't do a very good job with the RE4 remake.
Except like within like a couple minutes, people were like, why did you intentionally
lower the audio of every single clip from the RE4 remake? Oh, no.
Why did you cherry pick every room that had dynamic audio and then just had killed all the
enemies and then recorded those rooms so that there would be no music playing?
Why did you do that? So a day later, all of a sudden the video changes its title to
Resident Evil 4 Remake is a masterpiece. And the description is gone.
Wait, wait, what? Yeah, no change to the video content, just the title. Just the title.
And then when people are like, what are you doing? This is even more
fucking disingenuous than the fucking video. A day later, changes back.
But now it has the part, now it has the part in the, in the description goes,
no shenanigans, no shenanigans anymore.
Wait, hold on. Are you saying there was a double back down?
There was a double back down. And let's, let's, let's, like, okay, so, you know,
let's, that's funny. And, you know, all those deleted comments that were criticizing him,
those are all gone. And the pinned, the pinned thread in that YouTube
video is a fan of his saying, look, he didn't, he didn't mess with the, he didn't mess with the
audio at all actually. And it was actually just a misunderstanding of what dynamic audio is.
Because dynamic audio exists now, whereas back in 2004, there was no real dynamic range
on anything. And in the comments, he actually said, you know, actually, I had to raise the
audio for the RE4 remake stuff. I had to, I had to raise it to get it up to this, which is,
and so like, I saw, like everybody that I follow, including a bunch of devs were like,
just going like, this is a bunch of fucking disingenuous bullshit. And just like, also,
you can't back down from your back down. That doesn't work. Oh my God. Yo, the power of no
commentary gameplay. Oh dude, it's, it's great. So it's holy shit, man. You can change a title
and change an entire text. Like, like, imagine, like, if I could just go back and rename the
fucking quick look at fucking three houses, three houses, it just retitled that shit.
And everything's okay now. It's good. I retitled the video.
It's, it's, it's wild. It's super, super fucking wild. Amazing. And I've been thinking a lot,
because people like reacted really strongly to it, like really, like, because, and I feel like,
because there's a lot of content creators are like, this is bullshit, but like the average,
the average gamer, blah, blah, also reacted really strongly. And I was trying to figuring out why,
like, created such a vitriolic, like intense, like, fuck bullshit, like kind of feeling.
And all I can understand is that I feel like the average person doesn't understand the power
of an edit. So the guy's YouTube channel has been commentary less forever. And it has just
been compare and contrast. And that's it. And a lot of folks I feel like saw, well, if you're just
comparing this and you're comparing the same thing, then there's no voice. There's, it's just
offering you up information for you to make your own decision, because most people don't understand
how powerful an edit is as a voice. An edit is so powerful. You can do anything with a good edit,
even with the same two pieces of footage, you can do all sorts of shit. Like, I don't know,
drop the audio out the fucking floor. That's wild. Like, the starter, like, is it just like,
again, if you're supposed, if the whole commentary less system is leave you to your own conclusions,
and then you see that, I don't know about anyone else, because I haven't seen it, but I'm like,
to me, that immediately calls into question every other piece of content. Because if you're willing
to do that, then how honest are other comparisons going to be? You know? Like, that, that's a,
if this is the one that was caught, like, what does that say for other things? That's so weird.
That's so, so, so weird. Okay, well, it's, it is, it is wild to watch it,
like, go, go down in real time, because I saw everybody getting mad at the video, right? I'm
like, I should go watch it. And then I go to the video, I'm like, guys, the video is called
RE4 is a masterpiece. What are you all talking about? And then I get hit with like, no, dude,
each, what? It's that, that's what it's called now? Dude, he wasn't that yesterday. I'm like,
what were you talking about? It was called this yesterday. And then they send me a screenshot
of what the fucking, what the title was. Oh, all right. And saved now live on woolly versus
three houses is a masterpiece. Done. That's what it was all about the whole time. Done, saved.
Problem solved, guys. Nailed it. Oh, man. And just like that. Oh, where, dude,
wearing your shitty take on your sleeve is important. History corrected. If you have your
terrible take, roll around in your terrible take, be, be, be clothed in your terrible take.
That's incredible. I, that's a, that's a double back. Anyway, all right.
All right, dude, it's so, it like, okay, like I'm watching it happen in real time,
like who is going to be happy with this? Who, like,
Wolf Bark. All right. If you've got a letter, send it over to castle superbeastmail at gmail.com,
castle superbeastmail at gmail.com. Make sure your letter has soul though.
All right. Did you misspell the word three? I sure did. I sure did. Leave it, leave it, leave it.
Yeah. Done. SEO. Let's go. All right.
Let's see, we got one coming in. From
JMR says, dear father Pat and uncle Woolly, Pat, congrats on your upcoming child,
father or two here. The only unsolicited advice I'll give you is to remember that the beginning
infancy stage may suck, but it doesn't last forever and it gets better. Yeah. You know what
that's called, Wolves? The fourth trimester. Yeah. Okay. Because that three months out the womb,
they're basically just a big dry fetus. They're not going to do a whole lot. It's the same as
if they were in the womb, but now they're your problem. Yeah. Yeah. They're not very active
in that first three months. Yeah. I've also definitely heard a whole lot of that though,
with the like, as annoying as things get, they're only there for now, for now. It's just for that
one moment. I've also been told that I'm going to have sleepless nights and I'm going to be like,
this baby won't stop. But as soon as it moves on, I'm going to be like, oh, remember, remember
that exactly. Exactly. And soon enough, they'll be telling me I'm cringe and I'm going to miss
the days where they couldn't tell me I'm cringe. Well, soon enough, you will be cringe. That's
totally, I was born cringe. Molded by it. No, I'm not going to do the cool bane thing. I'm just,
I was very cringe as a child and it has continued. Hey, there you go. See, the cringe move was to
not try to make it a based version of a cringe thing. If you were to take the bane line, then
that would have tried to be trying to be based about being cringe. Very important. Very good.
A simple question, would you let your child win when you introduce them to multiplayer gaming?
Absolutely. Without a doubt. Until what point? Until they go, hey, are you taking it easy on me?
And I go, no. And they go, come on. And I go, okay.
That's the moment. Okay.
When they realize, yeah, when they, when they understand what's going on, then I will be like,
okay, it's time to die. Now, now, and then I will jump up in their face. Well, that's what you get,
girl. When you mess with the warrior. Yeah, go tell your mother.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, you see, that's the thing is, it's like the, the, the tears that follow,
right? Like those have to be expected. There, there, there's, there's a breaking of the
enclosure of their understanding, you know? Yeah. Um, yeah, I, like, it's like, I, my dad did that
with pool. We would play pool and we would play a game and like, dad, you're good at pool. Come on.
And then he, he played a game of pool by himself. And then he told me like, I don't think you will
ever, ever beat me. And I went, okay. How old were you when that happened? Like, I don't know, like
nine. Okay. So it took some time to get there. Like, well, because, you know, you don't really,
you know, you don't have a pool, pool, pool, pool table in your house usually, right? So we'd go to
wherever, right? Uh, but like for, for, yeah, no, like, I remember being like, I could, like,
you know, telling my dad when I was like six or seven, like, I bet I could beat you in a arm
wrestling or whatever the fuck, right? And he goes, okay. And he just slowly taps my hand down.
I go, oh, almost got you. He's like, no, no. I go, okay, well, you do it. And they just
bounced my fucking child hand off the fucking table and like, oh, he's like, well, you told me.
See, see, uh, I, I'm, I'm partial to a school of round one, absolute domination and annihilation.
Before that's too, come on, you can't do that. Perfection to the nth degree, everything parried.
Everything headshot. You're 22, 20 years too early to beat me.
Junin high and die off. You know, the worst, you know, the worst thing is the absolute worst thing
is, is that one of the shittiest Star Trek TNG episodes I can remember is now playing in the
back of my mind every time this happens. There is a fucking season fucking three episode of TNG,
where Riker doesn't get along with his dad. And so they play this fucking awful martial art,
where they have like sticks, like American radiators, but they have to play it with helmets on
that blindfold them. And so they're playing this awful sci-fi fucking, you know, thing with the
sticks. And then his dad like trips him, like he just, he puts the stick under his leg and trips
in and Riker gets up like, that was an illegal move. You've always been cheating, haven't you?
And he's like, of course I have. You could beat me when you were 10. I had to cheat to keep you
interested. Oh God. Yeah. So this, this is a surefire way to create a world champion or someone
that fucking hates fighting games. Well, you say that now, if you get a little one,
you're going to take it easy on them. No, I said round one, didn't I? Round one.
I said round one. No, you can't, you can't be the first fucking, that's too str- that's too much.
Then the comeback and then the joy of the comeback and then the tight battle and then the domination.
You know? Yeah. But round one. Got a breadcrumbs. Round one is real.
All right. Let's see here.
Well, in the same vein, Cimo says, hey, it's that infrastructure funny names here.
About six years ago, I wrote into the podcast asking about combining the gaming hobby and
raising a child. As we were about to have our first, the advice you gave was, and I quote,
throw it off a cliff. If it climbs back, it's yours. Was just wondering.
It really does lead directly from that. That's great.
Is this advice still valid? P.S. My kid did climb back and is becoming stronger every day.
Oh, hey. There you go. Sometimes it works. Sometimes the volcano is the correct option.
Like what if it's- That's how stubborn the kid is, right? What if you hay hashy toss,
but it's into a bouncy castle, right? I can do that. And then it's like now climb back up.
All right. So let's see what you got. Also, you ever seen a fucking kid on a climbing wall?
They're amazing at it. Well, yeah, because they have no mass.
Yeah. So like it's kind of like how babies can swim immediately. They can also climb really,
really well. Yeah. It's why gymnastics in the Olympics is always such a shit show
because gymnastics is exponentially easier for every pound you weigh less.
So like you'll get gymnastics competitors being like, you're 18, right? And they're like,
I am totally not a 14-year-old taking growth. Right. Right. Right. Yeah. Yeah.
I am absolutely an adult. I am a real adult. I promise.
Ice skating probably as well, since it gets similar with that.
Yeah. No. Just this full-on hay-hatchy, the king of bouncy castle.
I will not allow my child to play fighting games. I don't want them
sullied getting into that filth. In fact, now it's time to go start clearing up those
arcades that are left over in the neighborhood. Time to write some angry letters and have them
fucking removed as a concerned parent. I don't want my child hanging around the negative elements.
Woolly, I have to admit, I was actually thinking about this like a couple of days ago and like,
you know, my mom didn't, my dad didn't give a shit, right? My dad hung out in pool halls and
bars when he was a kid, right? He didn't give a fuck. My mom didn't want me hanging out at the
arcade, right? When I was like 10. I'm like, looking back, I'm like, yeah, there were a
bunch of pieces of shit at the arcade. That was real. That concern did exist. I'm still glad I went,
but I'm like, yo, those people were there. They were scum. Thuggery was real. We've moved on.
We've overcame, but it is an element, but it's one of many. And you know what? I remember
the world is full of thuggery. It's just a real world. I told my mom when I was like 10 or 11
or whatever, I was going out of the arcade and hanging out and she's like, I don't want you
going down there. There are people there that are selling drugs and there's bad elements. I'm like,
mom, you're crazy. Though that is, I've never encountered that. That is silly. I'll be fine.
That was a fucking lie. There were totally people trying to sell me drugs and fucking
being pieces of shit and threatening to beat you up off the cabinet. That was a huge lie.
Did you throw them while they were blocking or it? What's that? Did you throw them while they
were blocking? Fuck yeah, I did. Well, then that's the life lesson you learn. I still remember I was
like when Tekken three came out, I went down and I fucking chain throwed some 16 year olds as king,
and I had to fucking hold my ass out of there because they were going to kill me.
Thread that baby with a knife because it tick-throwed you. The fuck else you're going to do?
You didn't know how to escape. It was my turn. I was blocking. That was cheap. You fucking...
You know, every time you say tick-throw, and I think I say it most of the time,
I think about the Street Fighter 4 review period in which part of the review for Street Fighter 4
from one up was that tick-throwing had become contentious and that it was the source of daily
screaming matches that were almost escalating to fistfights because half the staff would be like
tick-throw as a part of the game. You're fucking full of shit. The other half were like, I swear
to God, if you tick-throw me, I'll fucking kill you. It was part of the review, which was, yeah,
no, people will be contentious. Because, you know, nobody, nowhere was there an instructional
manual that said hold up. So... Just check the throw.
That's too much timing involved. Hold up. Here,
Kino Pat says, dear homeowner Willie and bone owner Pat, that's how we're doing it.
Congratulations on your latest accomplishments. Like a lot of your eyes have been following
your content for many years. It's been exciting to see and hear how things are progressing.
Pray for many years happiness and fulfillment on the character development to come.
Wishing you all the best, now and in the future. There you go. And many well wishes.
Oh, that's just a sweet message.
Many well wishes of this nature.
Thank you, everyone, for your well wishes.
Mm-hmm. Can I summarize a plethora of letters into one question?
Yeah.
Okay. Hey, Pat, will you be this baby's white parent or its normal parent?
I'm going to be its black parent. We do my best.
Okay.
I might need some advice.
Okay. Well, I don't know. I'll try to help you out there, but I might be
too. I might give you too much normal advice. So I might not be able to elicit the other
kind of advice.
So what's what I feel like is totally been missed is will I be this baby's French parent
or normal parent? To me, that would have been the fucking actual aim, but everybody missed that one.
Mm-hmm. Well, yeah, but, you know, you get why.
Yeah. No, I understand.
Okay.
Here we go. Brent says, hello, Science Project Willie and pre-dad Pat wanted to give a piece
of practical advice as a father to myself. Everyone gives advice that's super obvious,
love, support your kids, yada-yada, but I have some practical advice that'll help you out right
away with the new baby. Don't button up onesies. Don't buy button up onesies. Only get zip-ups.
It doesn't matter how cute the button up is. It ain't worth it. When it's 3 a.m. and you're on
your third diaper change of the night and you're fighting an infant to snap dozens of buttons
up, it's an absolute nightmare. It's the dark souls of diaper changes. A zip-up solves all the
issues and gets your kid back in your arms in seconds. Congrats. And I have more simple
tips if needed. Yeah. I have already received this advice. In fact, I believe it was the first.
So I'm getting a lot of unsolicited advice and the vast majority of it is pretty pleasant
and very useful. So that's pot, because you know you're always going to get unsolicited advice
and you're bracing yourself for the shitty unsolicited advice that is personal. Don't
raise your kid like, no, it's actually all been like 99% has been really nice and positive.
That was the first one I got. And that was from a neighbor of ours when we went over
that barbecue. Like, you know the one barbecue I mentioned a couple months ago?
Since that was in meat space, Paige walked in the door and our next door neighbor went,
are you? So like, they knew, right? So we ended up talking then. And an older lady was like,
don't get button up on C's. You don't, you don't, you're gonna hate it. You're gonna hate it so
much. You're gonna hate it. You're gonna be trying to do it and the baby's gonna fight you.
And you're gonna need to get it off quack and you're just zippers. Now there is a point,
a side note where Paige can walk in and people can go, are you a Gingo? No, what are you talking about?
Okay, so get this, get this. So one of our neighbors had a different barbecue a few weeks ago,
right? And so we go down there and we're making nice with, you know, people from the community
where you were integrating that kind of thing. And a lady looks at her and goes, hey,
I need a smoke, but I can't smoke around the pregnant lady. I got to get out of here.
And she leaves and I swear to God, my wife starts looking around going, where's the,
huh? And then goes, oh, I'm the pregnant lady. Every now and then, every now and then,
you just forget for a second. Nice. Who are you talking about? Yeah. Who are you talking about?
Okay. Here's one coming in.
From Buck who says, hey, Willie and the boomer formerly known as Pat.
What is your go to celebration meal? I'm graduating university and I can't think
of what I'd like to do besides get something to eat. There's a lot of stuff to eat around,
but yadda yadda been listening for a while looking for looking to figure out what the
recommendation would be. I don't really have a go to celebration meal.
I do because I certainly had one when I came off of the shakes only phase of my,
my, my current program. I celebrated. I told, I talked about it before, but it's kind of waggy.
If you are down, if you're down and willing to and can afford to and feel like going stupid
on a piece of food, get yourself a nice little like 14 ounce waggy strip and
fucking do that up right on the grill. That's worth it. That's ridiculously worth it.
And that's celebratory. You can only do that every once in a while.
You know what? I have an answer, but it's actually super fucking lame.
Um, and it's actually, uh, it's actually Wendy's.
Oh yeah. Okay. Right.
Going down to Wendy's for a hamburger, um, because, um, well, the two reasons. One,
you remember Montreal, you still live there. Uh, the Wendy's are fucking far apart.
They are fucking far. There are not many. And it is always like,
Oh, go down to the fucking Wendy's. It'll take me an hour, but whatever.
But the real reason is because like back on like, uh,
Thursdays or Fridays, depending on the day that we did groceries,
I would go help my mom out with groceries and then we would go to Wendy's every week
and I would just hang out with my mom. And therefore I have like this,
like emotional connection to Wendy's that like makes me think of like,
just to have a nice dinner with my mom and going out to eat and she'd ask me how schools,
you know, that kind of thing. Yeah.
Similar to something like there was a period where my dad was really,
like my dad really likes Harveys. And so like I do have some similar kind of association there.
But, um, if I was trying to celebrate, I'm not hitting up like fast food. Like I'm, I,
you know what, I have another suggestion actually. I don't know what the equivalent would be.
Is that because you're not a piece of shit like me?
No, no, I have some piece of shit tendencies that are, I mean, I'm gonna, I would sloppy
steak in a minute. Don't, don't you think for a second fucking asshole this shit huge piece of
shit used to be a huge piece of shit. Then I made it to Dan Flashes and the rest is history.
Have you ever actually fucking slopped a steak? Have you had the fuck you've been doing the sloppy
steak joke for like a year? Have you actually had the balls to slop your steak? You know what,
I technically slopped a steak in its own blood. How about that? That's fucking bullshit. I slopped
a steak. You should fucking cook and fucking slop a steak on your fucking show and just pour
a full glass of fucking water in it and slop that shit up and eat it. But if the waiter catches
us, then we got to get the fuck out of there because, you know, it's, yeah, the waiter's you
in the situation. It's a rough time. Slap him up boys. Huge piece of shit. All right. I don't know
what the equivalent of rockerberries would be wherever the fuck you were talking about here,
but apple crumble cheesecake is an apple pie, a cheesecake and an apple crumble texture all at
the same time. Well, that sounds like poison, delicious poison. It is the best dessert I've
ever had and I don't know how you can get the equivalent of that, but if you can get something
like that, that shit is ridiculous and fucking amazing. Though I did hear recently, I just discovered
that in America, some places they have there's there's bakeries where they do left they have
like leftover cakes that are not like, you know, they're what's the day's gone, the cake ain't
fresh anymore. So they take a full slice of cake and they put it at the bottom of a shake and then
put a milkshake on top and then you drink the milkshake and then at the bottom you have a full
slice of cake stuffed into the cuts fucked up madness, unadulterated madness. I don't know what
y'all are doing down there, but I just heard about that and it's fucking crazy. Yeah, Americans
will do fucking a cake shake with food. You think it'd be like a cake flavor, a shake flavored,
a cake flavored shake, but it is not. Yeah, no, it's a fucking shake with a fucking cake at the
bottom of it. And when you when you eat that thick, heavy, heavy milkshake and you finish it,
the reward is a giant slice of cake that's covered in milkshake. Yes, and whatever other icing.
Fucking madness. You can't do this. You can go that way with it. America explain.
Simple one over here coming off. I just saw someone in the chat go, we use every part of the cake.
They do. That's how cake pops got invented.
Use every part of the cake. Otherwise, it goes to waste.
Oh, fucking America, man.
Here, real quick one. James wants to know, based on the clip of Pat explaining
that about his internal monologue and memories and such, this got me thinking,
anytime you've ever thought, remembered or heard the N word, do you hear it in your own voice?
Yeah. Okay. Does it have a hard R or does it does it soft?
Depends on who I'm quoting in my mind. Okay. All right. Well, yeah, fair enough.
And yeah, last one over here. This one coming in. Greetings from Saskatchewan, fellas.
Been a fan for a while now. I have a problem basically describing the desire to get into
fighting games, watching and hearing us talk about them and Street Fighter Six getting exciting.
However, jumping into Street Fighter Five, they got crushed entirely because everyone on it is
like killer now. Yeah, because it's the end of the game's life cycle. So do I continue trying or do
I wait for the launch of six? Wait. I mean, if you don't like if the feeling of what's going on
there is feels bad, then yeah, you're jumping in at the end of the marathon, right? Everyone is
at the finish line long ahead. Yeah. So, you know, there's that. But you know, there's also,
I mean, of course, it's not to say go out and like spend a ton on other things. There's other
fighting games out there. There's free experiences that you can you can you can check out and get
used to. But it's about six is about to drop. So you'll be able to have fun and start with
everybody at the same time for sure. Hey, I want to want to follow up with the earlier question.
Again, I feel like people are missing like the good joke for the obvious one,
because the real question is not whether or not I hear the N word in my head. The question is,
is it me doing the DMX fake dog noises at the beginning of his songs?
Because yeah, it is.
Oh, my God, I haven't even begun to enter the realm of recalling.
Okay, so Whitney Houston, the bodyguard, and I will always love you like that's you hitting
those notes. I can't I can't go back down this road. I feel like it is. I can't I can't go back
down this road. Denzel. Anyway, is it fucking?
Jesus Christ, everything, everything, every, every single
every one of those musicals that you talked about. Really? Oh,
fuck. Every time you talked, I just wish it was Richard
here. Every time you talked about cats or the other fucking one you watched the other day,
West Side Story or whatever. I did not fucking watch West Side Story. What was it? You watched
cats. You watched another musical. I watched cats. Cats, not a dog. Shut the fuck up, Judy.
All right. Okay, wonderful. There you go. All right. All right. That'll do.