Castle Super Beast - CSB 216: It's Called a Montreal Steamie
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All right, there we go.
William, I'm older.
Do you feel it?
Yeah.
Well, yeah, I do.
Happy belated.
Enjoy those new cracks and creaks.
Creeks and cracks.
Have you heard your body make noise yet?
Yeah.
Yeah, it's just going like that at pretty much all times.
Have you ever heard like audibly through the ears a noise of something inside?
Like yeah, those are not like I can't I can't tell what it is.
Yeah, sounds.
It sounds like my bones creaking, but I'm not moving.
And I'm like, what the fuck is that?
It's not great because like there's a there's there's there's a there's a sound you hear
inside your body when you're like, oh, I can hear like a little bone creaking or a little,
you know, thud, a dull.
But there's times when if you've ever like cracked or fallen off a cracked an ankle or
cracked a bone or cracked something by falling, you hear it outside and inside at the same
time and it's just a louder, like more visceral thing.
And yeah, there's times where like, you know, the spine or like the hip will just kind of
make a little like, oh, I heard that with my ears, not just my inside, like vibration
feeling.
I think I think the biggest change is like over the past six months, I've been getting
into bed and getting into bed, I'm like, oh, like I'm like getting into the bed is just
like, oh, yeah, man, this this is what I was looking forward to.
Oh, yeah, just just let me die.
It's interesting because I've as a part of this this program, I've been like experimenting
with different types of like, okay, what type of regular day that's like more or less healthy?
Do I want to try to have and there have been so there's a there's a there's a regimen I
have to follow that involves like, you know, low, like try to try to not use too too much
energy in a given day and try to hit below a certain intake.
And then there are days when like that's increased.
And when I was kind of doing it on my own a little bit before the program started, it
was I kind of realized that like, oh, like by going out and moving a bunch, spending
a bunch of energy and then taking in a bunch when you're eating, like, you feel way better
than if you start restricting all that, like low movement, low intake, because there's
a part of this program where I started basically doing less exercise, but eating less as well.
And the amount of weight loss has been proportional.
But my body feels more stiff and awkward and like, I have to use it or lose it get up and
stretch more and shit.
And it's like, oh, yeah, like, even if you're like, you know, going down the same weight
loss trajectory, if you're not doing it with enough physical activity, you're going to
feel more stiff regardless.
Like that's that's going to come back and you're not going to feel great.
So yeah, that's a that's a lesson is keep using it to to stave off the inevitable, which
is, you know, that that hip exploding at some point.
I think my hips are okay, but I think it's my brain that'll go first, regardless of old
moving on.
What's up with you, man?
Well, speaking of movement, I sure had a good opportunity to do a bunch of that yesterday
because yeah, a friend was celebrating a birthday.
So went out to hang out with Punch Mom's crew and we went to a nerf outing.
So it's like, you know, like nerf gun, you know, it's less painful, man.
So that was the first part of the day.
And that was like, oh, that was fun shooting some different types of nerf guns.
And, you know, like the crazy dudes that work there had their own modified like ones that
bullshit.
Yeah.
So they come like, oh, yeah.
So this is basically this isn't street legal, but it's got a feed chamber and an automatic
thing and it goes, and you can basically get a feed drum for it and madness, you know,
and it's like, oh, wow, yeah, that's these these nerf like dudes are going hard.
That's cool.
And then the second half of that was let's now switch over to combat archery.
Do you know anything about combat archery?
I I maybe maybe I'm a fucking fool, but I assumed all archery was combat archery due
to the art, the bow and arrow being a weapon.
So I suppose, but I mean, there's the main difference, I suppose, is you can do archery
where everyone's on one side and the targets are on the other, or you can do archery where
you're facing each other and you are the targets.
So when wait, so you and punch mom shot arrows at each other.
Yeah.
Real arrows.
I mean, they're not real in the sense that there's no blade on the tip.
There's no arrowhead, but it's got a large rubber thing that hits that like leaves bruises.
And it's well.
So here's Oh, is it?
Is it?
OK, so here's how combat archery goes.
Everyone is like, oh, wow, fun Nerf.
And like, I did a little tuck and roll over a barrier and, you know, had some fun shooting
and everyone was doing that.
And then combat archery starts and then the sound of the art, the arrow missing you and
slamming against the wall behind you sobers you the fuck up and you go, holy fucking shit.
This is a full extension, full release, bam, massive bruising like punch that is flying
at you.
And about two games in immediately shot in the fucking balls just straight to the junk.
I go down, I'm out, that's that's going to take me out for the rest of that game.
You've got visors, but they're the if you've ever been to paintball, you've got the regular
visors.
Don't do shit.
They protect your eye from literally exploding.
So that's cool.
They're more of a liability because they fog up way too much for you to be able to see
anything as anyone who paintballs knows.
And you can get the anti fog ones, which usually you have to rent more, pay more for
at paintball places.
This place, they just had the foggy.
You can barely see after five minutes goggles.
So in any case, that shit hits you right in the fucking frankenbeans and you're done.
That's that.
I came back out after like I sat the rest of that one out and took a water and walked
it off and it sucks.
And then I came back in entirely fucking terrifying with how hard and how fast these things are
flying at you.
Someone else gets hit in the tit and similarly kind of goes like down and is like, this is
scary and kind of hurts.
And it's less than a paintball, but it's like I would say it splits the difference between
that and like a hard nerf hit, which is like nothing, you know, but I'm just sitting here
and like, well, you know, if that was a regular arrow, like a piercing or bladed arrow, you
wouldn't have been hit in the nuts because you would have been so scared of being hit
in the nuts with the arrow.
You would have done a much cooler, bigger move to get out of the way.
You just weren't motivated enough.
Yeah.
Well, the problem also is that it's a bit easier to do a tuck and roll with a smaller
nerf gun than it is with a bow and arrow, which can break, which can snap and which has a
very detailed instructional process on how to not fuck around with it because there's
a million things that go wrong.
If you dry fire it fucks up.
Don't do anything cool while holding this bow.
If you rest it on the ground and not on a surface or at least on your foot, it can damage
the bow.
If you flip over, it can damage, like there's a million things.
If you pull it in the wrong spot, don't release in the wrong spot.
If you knock it incorrectly, yadda yadda, you know, there's so many things that can
break about it that it's just like, yeah, don't fuck around.
So in any case, we played and then some of the games too were like, okay, there was one
where it's like, okay, infected.
So when you take a hit, you switch sides until there's like an extremely unfair amount of
people on one team and then one person just like cowering in a corner, getting pelted
with arrows.
Are these rules or is these like, ow, I don't want to do it, ow?
These are the rules that the place used for their combat archery.
This is how they roll.
They're like, we start with the game.
It's the first game is infected.
Then there's like, okay, someone gets a shield and you can be like a healer that can block.
And you know, and so like, that's a bit, that's kind of cool.
And there's a bit of a rule to where like if an arrow hits somebody and you catch it,
the person who shot it is out.
So you can actually like be a bit more like, you know, cavalier with your, with trying
to save people, but it doesn't stop them from taking the hit and going, fuck, you know,
in any case, and that kind of continued.
And then there was a king of the hill game, which involved as you know, king of the hills
back and forth, got to, got to put a pile on for your team, you know, put the flag down
and yadda yadda, and that can just build up and build up and build up and everyone's
exhausted and gassed, picking up arrows on the ground while trying to not get shot while
trying to try to knock and everything is just, it's a lot.
It's insanely, insanely cardio intensive.
And it sucks to just be taking those hits as well at the same time.
And then an arrow hit one of our friends right in the neck and she goes down and that's just
the end of the, the, the activity down, down, down, down, like no, no, no, down or hurt
bad, not good, right?
Because you have eye protection, face mask protection, but everything else is open and
exposed.
And as we learned very quickly, my fucking nuts and someone's boob are, it hurts.
It's not great.
And then yeah, you get hit in the neck, obviously.
And that's also a major injury.
And so yeah, I don't have any bruises, punch mom has a few for sure.
And sure you're not saying bruised.
They appear to be okay.
But you know, we had to like wrap up and like, she had to get ice for her neck and not punch
mom, but the friend who got shot.
And it was just like, yeah.
You know, like if you're going to paintball, right, which I've done before, I haven't done
airsoft, but you know how to dress up, you put a couple layers on and then wear like
sweat pants and sweat shirt and blah, blah, blah.
And then you get some overalls while you're there, which are also pretty thick and you
can take the hit and you feel it.
But and it like, you know, like a really like direct spot one will leave a bruise the next
day and you'll see it.
But at the same time, like in this, we were just in like whatever kind of street clothing
with zero padding whatsoever.
So like, yeah, that shit fucking is pretty goddamn dangerous.
And you sign your waiver at the beginning to be like, yeah, you know, no, it's not our
fault.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My problem.
Everyone signs one of those.
But like, to be perfectly honest, you kind of should be wearing a little bit more protection
here, a cup for sure, a little something for your neck, you know, just something for the
tender areas that like can get fucked up because like, yeah, these things are really
flying at you.
And again, just the difference between having the padding and the clothing I did when I
went to paintball versus not is enough to, you know, fucking scare the shit out of you
with some of this.
So yeah, just just a fair warning.
It can be fun, but also that, you know, and imagine, imagine how cool it would have been
if you guys got stuck with arrows.
It would have been so cool.
Then you'd have an arrow scar in your balls.
Think of the story like if there was a way to like have an arrow that like tags into
your clothing, like or into like, if you're wearing like something, they can like, you
know, like it just like stick to you or so and like mark you, but not impale.
That would be a bit more fun.
You could do that with like a sticker, like or like a suction cup or something.
It's something.
I don't know.
It'd be it'd be fun.
But as it stands, this is just a full pole.
They're not like fucking composite long bows or anything.
We're not doing an 80 pound pole, like, you know, marching, writing on horseback or anything.
But you were still doing like a goddamn, you know, a full on a full extent, a full pull
and release is like, that's it's, it's, it's the, it's the strength of like a really
good overhand right to the body, you know what I mean, like to the head or a hook to
the body.
Like it feels like a hard punch, probably with like 12 ounce gloves or so.
So like, I guess one of the things that I haven't picked up on and I just realized, like, you're
all you're the way you're describing it is like really somewhat accurate for like, I
would assume that the firing a bow and arrow was actually like fairly difficult to hit
a human sized target, like, is it yeah, it's hard.
It's not easy.
You're using the like the sights, which are just like, there's a little like groove in
where you, you know, you when you knock the arrow and then you pull it back.
But it actually like, if you don't have a clean, clean, clean shot, you see the arrow
trying to kind of waiver off and arc down and stuff, it's difficult to hit a moving
target.
Yeah, I'd say so.
But like you guys were like, like, what's what like, say out of, out of every arrow
you fired, what was the chance that you were actually going to hit somebody from, okay,
so the thing is, is from all the way back from one side of the field to the other, like
you could hit somebody, but it was way, way harder from to hit that small of a target.
I would say, like, if you know, there's a couple of place, place, place, places where
you can run up to like within 10 feet, you know, and like at that point, yeah, you're
getting, you're getting hit, right, you go, here's the part where it kind of breaks for
me.
I'm like, if, if like shooting somebody with bow and arrows hard, right, way harder than
paintball, would you say that if you, yeah, definitely, if you're, if you're getting within
10 feet, then why not just skip the step and just give you like a big foam bat.
We had foam axes and if you wanted to, you could throw a foam axe at somebody.
And if it hits them and then, and they don't catch it, they're out.
But if they catch it, then you're out.
Well, when you, when you say throw, can my throw be one foot away and I don't let go
of it?
Uh, you know, because you're not actually allowed to get that close to their side.
There's a no man's land of about 10 feet and then like you can cross it to get yourself.
This is kind of coming together in my head.
So there's your side, there's their side, there's a no man's land in the middle and
you cannot actually cross onto their side.
And at a certain point, it's, yeah, it's dodgeball rules, right?
At a certain point, I was certainly tired enough and I was not, I was too done with
picking up arrows to bother.
So I just had the shield.
I was the healer and I was like, I'm just going shield and I'm grabbing axes and I'm
Tomahawking these at fuckers, you know, and that's my, that was my game for a while because
in paintball, you can like glove hit away like bullets if you're fucking sick, um, with
at with and you're willing to bust your hand.
Yeah.
If you're willing to, well, I mean, that there's a glove for it, right?
But with the shield, I'm super down to parry arrows all day, right?
Like let's do it.
So there was a game where you both had a cone at the back of the field and when it was down,
you couldn't, nobody would heal anymore type of thing.
And while it was up, people could heal after five seconds.
So one person's job was to parry the arrows as they were and defend the cone while everyone
else was shooting the opponents.
And I took that roll on, fuck it.
I'm going to Reinhardt.
I don't care, you know, um, with the shield, I'm super down to play that version of the
game where I deflected a couple and I absolutely tomahawk some people.
If you shoot too high, it's too easy to catch.
You're playing risky.
So you got to hit him in the legs, you know, so I was enjoying that part of it.
In fact, by the end of the night, like a couple of us were like, man, can we just play shields
and axes next time?
Cause like that was a little less brutal.
And also like it didn't involve the constant bending over, picking up and being out in
the open.
We like, I feel like this conversation is like very slowly creating the light.
You know what I would really love to do as an adult is play a game of dodge ball with
a bunch of other.
Sure.
Dodge ball.
Essentially.
Yeah.
And then, and when, and then you're also getting into LARPing territory.
Yeah.
And the other thing is that I remember, I don't know if this ever happened to you, but you
ever go down to the laser tag on St. Catherine?
Yeah.
Many times.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I went down there a couple of times and depending on like sometimes they tell you and other
times they didn't like, but I remember once I went when I was like 10 and they were like
looking us dead in the eyes of our soul and being like, do not hit people with your gun.
Do not like, like in that way that can only mean that the, the group before you was clearly
hitting people with their guns.
And that made no difference whatsoever to my, you still hit people with your gun.
My crazy fucking cousin.
If I saw, if he saw me, he was just swinging and if they got too close to you, what are
you going to do?
Back off?
No, hit him.
Hit him.
Multiple times I shot him and he was eliminated and he was pissed off because he was in the
recharging phase and he just fucking swung his gun and a gun at me.
So yeah, dude's dude fucking just gave no shits.
That's the way it worked.
And then, you know, there'd be like no hitting and no crawling, you know, but like, yeah.
Don't, don't, don't hold your gun like this in front of your chest.
So then, and then hold your hand on the gun so they'd cover all the sensors.
It's interesting because they eventually, because they, not eventually, like they, like
if you cover your chest and you, and you have your gun pointed out there that way, like
that's why they made the gun itself a target.
Yeah, but then you can bring tape.
Oh.
Tape on your gun.
Come on.
Oh my God.
You can bring fucking tape to laser quests.
No, man, I'm not out.
That is the saddest shit in the world.
Oh my God.
It's funny because like, do you remember being, did you ever play like water, you know, like
Super Soda shit or right?
Like and nerf shit.
And it's like, whenever you played with, with kids that weren't part of your immediate
family, like one, like siblings or, or, or closer, right?
You would always run into the fucking situation like, let's say Eric, you blasted Eric's
eyes out of his face with the Super Soaker.
He's like, nah, didn't, didn't fucking, didn't count, didn't count.
And like, it would eventually escalate and escalate and escalate until we can't play
anymore because now kids are like trying to fight.
And it's like, why, why you got to be like that, Eric?
The thing I feel though, like Super Soakers were way more fun, but they also didn't have
a rule because it was just your goal is to just soak the other person.
And then you're all like, ah, we're wet.
So you can just kind of take it and, and mess around and try to dodge the shots.
But the Nerf gun shit of watching something bounce right off somebody and them go, that
didn't hit me.
Yeah.
So the thing that, yeah, you need, you need an honor system in play.
And with Nerf, like I, I, I, it's, to me, Nerf is way, it's not as fun as Super Soakers,
but it, at least there's a point where like, you're like, oh, okay, you got tagged, right?
But if they're, if they're assholes and they're like, no, then they just fucking don't play
along and you're like, well, why are we even playing this game?
Um, are we playing it so that you can win?
And because your dad won't let you use the computer because you spent your credit card
on Valorant aimbots.
I'm trying to remember what it was, but there was one Christmas where, um, we, because we
liked the, the laser tag, we played laser quest and then there was another place out
in LaVal called Cusar and it was shittier because, um, their game type was like, it
was so stupid.
It was like, you had limited shots and you had to run back to your base to recharge your
gun on a wall to then get your shots back.
And it was terrible.
It was so stupid.
Like it just, it was, they thought it would be more fun to have this ammo system, but
it fucking just slowed everything down and anyway, whatever.
Um, so that, that version of it was, it was, was lame, um, but we kind of were like, yo,
like there's now these home laser tag things you can buy, right?
And I forget the names of them, but there was like a couple of them that were just like,
yeah, you get, you buy the chest and you plot, you buy a shooter and then you can get like
a tag set and you can play and I was like, Oh fuck, let's do that.
And so we kind of like wanted to get that for Christmas and we got it one year.
Um, but it wasn't like, there was like the, the big brand name one, um, and I, I forget
the name of that one, but then that one was like super expensive.
So we got like the, the, the fucking second tier and the second tier one would constantly
ping so that you could never really hide or sneak up on anybody in every five seconds
and went ding.
And it was just like, why would you just, why would you ruin this?
You know, the fucking off brand laser.
And I was, and then it just, it became so unfun to just constantly hear somebody sneaking
up on you in the house or in the backyard or whatever that were like, fuck this.
We're just going to do the target practice thing where you put the targets up and shoot
it.
And then we're like, return it.
This is garbage.
And we exchanged it for something.
I forget what, like something video game related probably.
Yeah.
And you're like, yeah, like at that point, like, let's just go back to water balloons.
It basically, yes, absolutely.
We had tons of water balloon fights at church that were fun.
But anyway, all of this is just to say that like the archery level of this is like, it's
a, I've never done it.
So I've always, so it was a curiosity and I was like, yeah, let's try this out.
And like, there's a cool feeling to like pulling back and releasing and actually hitting a bull's
eye.
Like that's a very super cool thing, but it's, but I definitely am just like, I don't have
the ability to do this under pressure, under fire, high stress environment and actually
land and hit anything.
And neither did anyone else there for that matter.
So I would say like for every 20 shots that were loosed, one would hit somebody.
You know what I mean?
Like it's pretty low accuracy.
Eventually, I kind of was just like, fuck this, I'm going to push up and try to fight
within the 20 feet to 10 feet range of people because that's the only way these games are
going to end.
It's closer, just closer, closer and eventually it's just like, what if I shot you from two
inches away?
Yes.
Right.
At which point you can jump.
And if one hits you, I had one hit me in the leg and it was kind of like, oh, can I
catch it?
You know, if it's a decent enough bounce, if you catch it before it hits the ground, does
that count?
If you catch it before it hits the ground, you are not out.
Dodgeball rules.
Rules.
Yeah.
You can catch it in midair or you can, it can hit you and then you can catch it.
I guess that wouldn't work with a regular arrow because like then if a regular arrow,
you'd catch it.
Or die.
No, no, no.
I mean, like if it hits you, you don't have to do anything because you caught it.
Oh, it's in.
Yes, exactly.
And then if you hit someone else and then you try to catch it and you fail and it hits
you and then hits the ground, you're both out.
Right.
So anyway, it's a type of activity that's like, yeah, it's fun, but caveat.
Yeah, stipulations, wear some fucking protection, bring a cup, bring a neck protector, bring
some knee and elbow pads, probably.
It's funny that you you mentioned and you tell this story with this kind of caveat,
like after I start the podcast with like, I'm old, I'm 40 because like I remember when
I went to paintball, the last time I went to paintball, I was like 26.
I want to say, I think I went with you.
And like some of us got fucked up and we dealt with people that like would just keep shooting
you over and over because of that big public thing.
Was it outdoors?
Yeah, it was outdoors is like, like we had to drive for a couple hours.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's where I did.
I did the solid snake roll into a trench.
Right.
And like you'd see those motherfuckers with the custom like shit that would just shoot
you like 10 times or like you got me, they would shoot you again and like, yeah, you'd
be covering bruises.
And I remember like back then, like I'm in my 20s like, man, who gives a shit?
That was awesome.
Ow, my hurts.
Ow, whatever.
Who gives a fuck?
And now you're like, oh man, you got to be careful, man, you can get a get a nasty bruise.
Yeah.
Oh, and I'm like, I would probably be saying the same thing if I had also gone.
Dude, I mean, the games ended because of injuries.
That's like, we didn't make it to the bell because people were over.
It's done now.
Yeah.
Um, no, I, yeah, I remember that, that, see that, that paintball of youth, there was one,
there was a, what was it?
It was the game where I was like carrying the football or whatever.
I was like the flag, the VIP, I'll protect the president with the briefcase, I think.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's what it was.
And, um, and I remember like I was running through the forest area and like at one point
they just like, there was like three or so people all like grouped up just going, ah,
and I'm like running past and I hit a branch and tripped and started to stumble.
And then there was like a trench opening right in front.
So while stumbling, I just head over flipped and full on solid snake tumble into the trench
and got out and got to safety and like, they're like, dude, that was fucking insane.
Was that intentional?
And I'm like, and you're like, yeah, absolutely.
But mostly it was absolutely completely that was mostly intentional, you know, it was one
of those mistakes into miracles type situation, you know, but, uh, I didn't know how far the
trench was.
If it, if it went a little bit less shallow than I thought, uh, that would have been my
head going down at which point end of woolly.
So, you know, calculated, you're young in this story, you would have survived a neck
break.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
Totally.
People survived that all the time.
Uh, yeah.
So, so, you know, combat archery, um, you know, that you go and go and knowing that that's
what you're going to need.
Also, I want to do it again, but I want to just kind of aim at a bullseye and just see
how my aiming is really.
You just want to go to a driving range for, yes, exactly.
Because I did that for axe throwing and it was a ton of fun, um, with the exception of
the times when the axe bounces off the wood and comes flying right back at you.
You get to have that feeling in your chest of light.
Is this the stupid thing that's going to come?
That's all it was.
Really?
I mean, after all this, that time and effort, you know, I didn't fall off a mountain or
get run over by a bus.
It's just like I threw an axe at my own self and oh, great.
Well, yeah.
Okay.
Sure.
Good job getting in shape, idiot.
Now get fucking impaled like nice, nice jobs going to be in a slightly different shape.
Yeah.
So no, an archery range would be, would be fun, but I don't, I don't think I'm going
to be doing combat or archery again.
This is the start.
This week is the start of us saying, oh, we went out and did something cool.
Um, oh, my bones don't agree with it.
I don't know.
Oh, I don't know.
It's what it is.
So after that, it was like, all right, um, the injured girl unfortunately had to go home
and nurse that ice, you know, and it was still someone's birthday.
So they're like, all right.
Well, the second half of this was let's go play the board games at the board game bar.
Um, so, you know, uh, that was, that was cool.
And uh, while we were there, I tried out two board games, um, that were pretty all right.
One of which is a D&D dungeon mayhem.
It's called.
Okay.
Is that dungeons and dragons?
That's correct.
As of the wizards of the coast, Dungeons and Dragons.
That's correct.
Uh, fortunately, I was able to make it through and, uh, play this game without any Pinkerton
showing up.
Uh, but we'll talk about that a little bit, uh, but it's, it's a pretty simple game.
And it was kind of interesting in that, um, the basic point is, uh, everyone has a character
deck, you sit down at a table with, uh, you know, as many people as possible.
In this case, we were a group of 10, so it was a fairly large group and, uh, you have
a bunch of moves that your character can do and then you can attack to the left or to
the right of you.
And your goal is to survive, you know, it's just a quick little take out the, your opponent's
card game.
Occasionally some moves affect the table or let you pick a target.
Um, some of them are goofy.
Like some of them are like, um, you pull out a treasure and you pick two people and they
have to dance.
And if they dance, then they can get one too or whatever, but you know, I kind of, I would
want that to involve you having to approve whether or not their heart was in the dance
or not.
Um, anyways, uh, but it's not, it's clearly not.
It's angry invaders and fucking dance and pissed off, um, or take compliments from people
or whatever.
There was another situation like that.
But whatever.
No, the point is though, you kind of pick a D&D class, right?
So there's a wizard, there's a, uh, a barbarian, there's, you know, a bunch of, uh, just typical
sort of, you know, rogue, paladin, yadda, yadda, and, uh, exactly.
And you kind of simplify the process where you're like, okay, I played the barbarian.
So it's like a barbarian orc, uh, lady who she had like a bunch of damage attacks she
could do.
She could, you could shield from other people, incoming damage, pull a card, do a, especially
special moves, like life recovery or so.
Um, and then eventually you pull out a super and then you can like a super would be like,
um, swap with someone else, force everyone to reshuffle, you know, yadda, yadda.
In my case, it was attack everybody for one damage and then heal one damage for everyone
else at the table type of thing.
So that's great.
Yeah.
Stuff like that.
And it's pretty simple and fun.
Um, but, and, uh, what was cool was the, uh, so the different classes had a lot of damage
had like different balancing aspects to them, you know, like the, obviously the, the paladin
could block a lot and the, the barbarian was all about the attack, but it had like expansions
for different D and D things.
So it would go into like the monsters as well.
So they brought out like a beholder.
There's like a dragon.
There's a bunch of different typical D and D class monsters as well from a monsters manual
that expanded.
And then further expansions include Baldur's Gate stuff.
Okay.
So like there's Baldur's Gate characters that you could play as as well that I, I, you know,
there's Minsk there.
I don't, I don't know.
I can't really speak to any of that content, but, uh, it's called D and D, uh, dungeon
mayhem and you can go look up the Baldur's Gate content for yourself.
Um, because there's only like, there's only like, oh, there's two characters only.
Oh, okay.
Minsk and, uh, fucking, and Jihira.
Yeah.
That was the only two that anyone gives a shit about.
Okay.
Is there anyone else that should be there?
No.
Okay.
Just a fuck.
Well, there you go.
Um, yeah.
So it's a fun little quick, you know, uh, um, table card game for, for a group and doesn't
take too long to explain.
So very normie friendly as well.
Um, it was, but it was, it was cool.
And then the, um, the girl to, um, I left was like really good at, she was like super,
she had the game and knew everything about it.
And like, while they were explaining how to play, she's like, actually, this is how
you play and this is that and correct it if you think so.
I was like, okay, let's see this.
And watching that come down was like, oh, there was a point where she played, you know,
the like the, the, the, the infamous crazy risk combo situation or like, she played a
card that was like an attack and then it draws another card, which then lets another thing
continue, which then lets another, and she did like seven actions in a row that just
fucked up everybody and, uh, killed me.
And I was like, okay, like there is a strategy to this.
If you know your deck, um, that's, that's pretty fun.
Disgusting combo decks infiltrating fucking D&D.
Sure.
And, uh, that big, big, big, big combo was.
Was, was, was pretty impressive.
And it actually reminded me, uh, a bit of playing Yomi, uh, in that, you know, you like,
if you know your character well enough, you can kind of hope for like, you can fish for
certain extra cards.
And then once you have them initiate a plan that can like sweep the board, you know, um,
so yeah, it was, it was, that's a pretty fun game, uh, I'd recommend, um, and then another
one was, uh, I only played, well, I watched one game of this was, it was on the way out,
but pretty simple and pretty good, uh, basic concept is called, uh, just one and, um, all
it is, is, uh, everybody, um, oh God, that sounds tough.
Everybody sits at the table and one person, uh, is the, the whoever's turn it is.
They, there's a word that they have to guess that they're not allowed to see that everyone
else at the table can see and everyone has to write down a clue about that word.
But if two people write down the same clue, then both of their clues get erased.
And that's it.
The fashion slap the fucking character or thing to the, the, your fucking face.
That's it.
It's such a simple concept, but with a rule that makes it a million times tougher.
Uh-huh.
If you are too obvious about what you pick, the most obvious and therefore most helpful
rule, uh, uh, blue is going to get erased.
And if, uh, like if, uh, the one that I always think of is King Kong and like nine times
out of 10, someone would say climbs the empire state building because, oh, you would immediately
know it was King Kong and then they will, those would all get written out.
Yeah.
Right.
I don't know if you can say that many words.
I don't think you're allowed to.
I think you have to kind of only say one word, you know, but, um, but for example, like the
first word was painting and then, uh, immediately two people wrote canvas and that got erased
and then immediately, uh, someone else wrote Mona Lisa and I was like, I would have wrote
Mona Lisa as well.
Those would be erased.
And then your only thing to go off of would be the one other thing, you know, which might
just be like art's work, like you do, you know, um, yeah, that's a little, it's, it's,
and so you have to second guess when you're like, okay, who's going to say the most obvious
thing.
Everybody is like, let's not say the obvious.
Let's all go to the second most obvious.
And so you're kind of, it's it family feud, right?
So you're trying to create a situation where somebody's trying to guess, but with only
stupid ass obscure bullshit, something and like, but like, it has to convey the right
thing to the person who will get it.
Because if you get two inside, they're not going to get it anyway, you know.
So again, it's like that family feud thing, but you want to use the lower ranking answers
and the other person has to be able to guess them, you know, um, yeah.
So, uh, that's, that was a pretty fun game and I immediately I could see like the more
complex the word, right?
The more like bullshit and heated, so what's a complex word that you actually encountered?
Oh, no.
So I, like I said, I only got to experience that one round right before we were leaving
one round.
Okay.
And it was painting.
What was, what was the, it was paint.
You know, um, but like, yeah, if you had to like, if you had to get anything a little
too specific, you know, um, let, if the word was like overpass, that's tough.
Yeah.
Right.
What are you going to write for overpass, right?
Not an underpass.
Like what, like you, you, you, yeah, everyone gets, I'd be like trucks go under too many
words.
How many words can we, how many words can I use?
I think you're kind of only allowed to use one.
I mean, so I think two is okay if it's like, if it's like, uh, uh, like Mona Lisa, like
a name of something like that.
But I don't know that you're allowed to really use two words as in like a partial sentence.
So fucking tough.
Yeah.
So everyone says bridge.
Guess what?
The word bridge gets erased.
Oh no.
Yeah.
You know, clearance.
Okay.
That might work.
But what does the clearance can be a lot of things.
Clearance can be a sale.
Clearance out of context is, could mean a lot.
Yeah.
You know, Parkway, sure.
But Passover as in like the Hebrew holiday, like what do you, yeah, if you said Passover,
I'd be like, I'd be like, yeah, religion.
So right off the bat.
It's like, like I said, it's hard and I was like, I saw the potential in that concept
right away.
I'm like, ooh, that can get the juices flowing, you know, and then of course yelling at the
person afterwards going, how did you not get it?
What else could this be?
You know, whatever.
So language based games, games where you can, games where you things can get heated right
away are the ones that like peak my interest.
I like that.
And I also like, so when I was playing D&D, mayhem as well, like between rounds, a lot
of shit talk going on, people try to bargain, make deals to the left and to the right.
I like that.
I like when there's, you know, where you can, you can kind of lawyer up your situation.
It's like the two versions of cards against humanity, right?
The official lame rules or the fun rules, you know, the way I learned how to play that
game was one, whoever's turn it is, puts down the black card and then everyone takes their
turn matching it.
And then you go around the table and then everyone matches it and, you know, does their
thing and whoever, whoever they pick is the winner, you know, and whatever's funniest.
But the official rule set is actually you're supposed to blind pile them together and then
shuffle and then the person who's turned it is blind picks the winning card with no talking.
And it's like, oh, that's so much.
No, that's like, I like that's a way of protecting shy people that don't want to say anything.
So I get it.
But that's also a way less fun game.
Like if you want to put, you want the ultimate, um, like there's two ways to play Monopoly,
the way that the rules say and the ways that everybody actually plays.
Yeah.
One of those is faster and a better way to play, but it's also like vindictive and mean
and cruel.
And like that's the point of Monopoly.
It's the point.
It's the reason why it was created, aka the renters game, sorry, the landlords game.
So like after two full circuits of the board and Monopoly, you're not supposed to just
keep rotating around the board and fucking, uh, like seeing who picks up what you're supposed
to auction off the entire rest of the board for whoever can pay for it and keep doing
that every turn of the board so that the whole thing fills up with houses and hotels like
instantly and people start going fucking broke and you start screaming at your dad because
like this bullshit, why do you have a hotel on the purples?
These things are trash, but I'm dying.
I keep lent this bull, this fucking workers, God damn it.
It's supposed to become a real estate nightmare instantly.
And you're supposed to have projects and fucking, you know, set up, uh, like right around the
second or third turn.
Exactly.
Um, yeah, no, so, uh, the, the, the, the fucking official rule is what I remember like sitting
to play with a group that wanted to use those rules and I was like, wait, you guys don't
play your card down and then like talk about it and fucking have fun and drink and enjoy
a social thing because a lot of people don't have the improvisational gift of improvisational
gift of gab.
And so that puts them on the spot and becomes really awkward when they put down a card that's
like some horrible nightmare shit that they don't want to talk about, which is a human
garbage like you or me or my wife who just talk about horrible things and ha ha ha farts
all the time, whatever, who gives a shit?
It just, it was so much infinitely less fun to just sit there silently and go, oh, that
was my card.
You know, my card was the dick one.
Yeah.
Instead of laying down the bigger, blacker dick and then like it's a bigger, shinier silver
card sticking up out of the pile, mind you.
And then talking about it, uh, anyways, so yeah, just one pretty fun, um, decent as far
as a little, little board games go.
Um, okay.
So what else?
Did some physical bullshit?
Did some imaginary bullshit?
Um, yeah.
And then of course, half of our weeks are always imaginary bullshit.
Yes.
Yes.
Every once in a while they get real.
Um, and then of course, uh, there was the big old street fighter six stuff, right?
Yes.
So, um, uh, do you want to talk about the stuff they showed in the, in the thing during
news or do you just want to just roll that whole thing in?
Yeah.
Anytime, anytime there's a significant subject, I mean, you know, it makes sense to play it.
So that was part of the presentation.
Exactly.
Exactly.
So that just go through it at this point up front.
I mean, they, they first had the, the live presentation, um, shout outs to Gerard and
Susie for doing the pre-show, uh, they, they way better than the last one that they had.
Oh, I missed it.
So I don't know.
You, you probably did not watch the pre-show that they had that had Susie and Roonby and
it also had to, uh, Capcom, um, uh, rap people.
It was kind of awkward and, and it, it felt like, it felt like Susie and Roonby couldn't
just do their influencer thing.
It felt like, like somewhat scripted, whereas this pre-show with Gerard and Susie, they,
they got to sit in their setups and get their cameras as they usually would and just do
their thing.
And so it was like fine.
It was totally normal and like exactly what I would have expected.
Yeah.
They showed off a Blanka statue, which confused the shit out of me because of all the pics.
Who cares about Blanka?
Why?
Like I even, like I'm sitting here right now, right?
I'm not somebody who's going to tell, uh, uh, Blanka is a weird pick for merch.
I don't get it.
Right?
Uh, I have this, what do you got?
Blank a chain.
This makes sense.
Right?
It's the cute new form of Blanka.
Shit head.
Right?
It's great.
You, you fucking pull it out.
You electrocute it.
You toss it up and then he's an attack and then you can do a crossup.
Um, that's, that makes sense.
Actual real Blanka is such a weird pick because I'm like, that's not the kind of character
that is going to represent the franchise in a way that enough people are interested.
I feel like, you know what it is?
It's so they know who to send Pinkerton's to, when they come knocking on the door.
Right.
Right.
They're like, did you order a Blanka doll?
Okay.
So now we know where the, now we know where the Blanka players live because it's a realistic
detailed, uh, Blanka and it's not even the new design.
It's the old one.
It's the, that's the way that is by far the weirdest part and I'm like, I actually would
have been down for the overalls and the new look, the new Jimmy scarf, actually, you know,
and like, and like that's the thing is like, whatever I see a piece of merch words, like
if I see Ryu merch now that's going to be just like classic, you don't know what game
this could have come from.
It's the same old Ryu.
I'm like, I'm like, no, we have a new version of him now.
Yeah.
A big part of street fighter six is appeal is like, okay, so when tech in three happened
and we got to see people get old or people get kids, you're like, wow, what a mix up.
Now we have street fighter six that is finally taking like Ryu and Blanka and, and Chunli
and, and Kami and be like, this is the new one.
And I'm like, Oh, I like all of these.
They're really good.
So why would you pick the old?
It feels like this statue existed before me.
I don't know, but whatever the case is, I kind of was like, ah, because I would be super
down for a blank a chance statue or a big, a bigger plush.
I don't want, that's cute.
It's awesome.
It's a great piece of merch.
Um, I'd be down for him with the new scarf, the new look and similarly I'd be down for
anybody with the street fighter six look, um, you know, I like that, like the, again,
the tie moving forward, right, but, um, seeing it as just the older design, I was like, Oh
man, that's a bummer.
But on top of that, I feel like, because we got into this topic as well, I was like, there
are a number of characters where even if it's not your favorite, you can see that being
a good idea for a statue or for merch that is like, you know what, okay, even if you
don't particularly like main or, or, um, care a ton about sagat, everyone is like, oh, but
that's a cool statue.
Yeah.
You can see why you'd make that, right?
That's a, yeah, yeah, or a jury statue would be like, yeah, absolutely.
That's a cool.
Why not put out a statue of cammy doing the stretch?
Sure.
Right.
You can see these things and go like, even if that's not my main or, or whatever that
makes sense as a street fighter thing, I'm just like, man, what the, what the weird old
blanket design?
Yeah.
So.
Strange pic.
In any case.
In any case.
Um, why not put out a statue of jury's foot?
Just the foot.
Just the fucking foot.
Why even make it a statue?
Why not just make it, um, rubbery, fleshy, silicone, silicone, yeah, and, and, you know,
it's a foot.
So why even stop there?
I feel, dude, I feel like.
Why not just add some extra utility?
There's a lot of things I have never been able to unsee in my life, but the foot pussy
is like way up there.
It's way up there.
Okay.
It is way up there with things I can't unsee.
Hey listeners, are you familiar with, um, I don't know, let's say, uh, Deidara from
Naruto.
Um, and, and.
Really?
This, this is what you're going to, this is how you're going to do this.
Are you familiar with Helsing and Alucard's hand with the, with the eye on it?
Fuck this, this is the worst.
What if foot and what if it's just not a mouth, one of those silicone vaginas for your
dick that is in the shape of a foot.
This is a real product that really exists and you can look it up.
Don't look it up.
But you could.
Get the shit out of me because, okay, let's, can we just, let's, we're not even pretending
reality exists anymore because I've, I've, I've had to describe and explain to Reggie
this up.
I'm going to put an incognito.
Yeah, you do that.
Listen, I've had to explain to Reggie the magic of, uh, the comedy that is the comedy
of eggshells.
Right?
Oh, that's awful.
We step around and there's no need to crack any.
Let's just, let's just waltz through the flowers and make it safely to our destination, leaving
everybody mentally in shambles with the implication.
But here, let's be real with the foot fetish it.
I always assumed that somebody who had one was looking for like the foot to be on the
junk and like the foot itself to be like would maintain its foot qualities.
And I assumed that if you're a foot fetish, if you're a Quentin Tarantino, you want that
foot either in your mouth or all up on you, rubbing up and down, doing the foot stuff.
Like you want it to be the platonic ideal of the foot and maybe right.
And then maybe as you get it, you, you level that shit up and you go from foot on the junk
foot and you put in the butt, whatever foot, whatever, wherever the foot will you want
it to go.
But I never quite, but when I see a product, which is a foot with attachments, the fussy,
it confuses me, it scares me a little because I then go hold on.
If you're into the foot fetishist with the foot on the junk, are you actually thinking
I wish I could put my penis, I wish I could fuck the foot itself is has the, has the desire
always been to like to just actually fuck the foot like I don't get it.
I'm going to, so these are questions that we're asking and I want to be really clear.
Don't answer them.
These are the most rhetorical, rhetorical, this is the most rhetorical question information
is the most rhetorical question you've ever had.
This is purely a mental exercise.
Get out of it.
Don't talk to me, but I just, there's something to it where I'm like, I assumed you were
getting off on the idea of the foot itself and it's foot like state doing the work.
You know, much like any other understand what you mean.
Yeah.
Much like any other part of the body where you're like, oh, I'm into that.
You know, whatever.
Like, it's just, I never assumed you wanted to stop people in the live chat.
Stop posting the, the, the podcast email link.
Stop it.
Get that out of here.
No emails about this.
No, bad because the natural extension of that is like, if like, okay, bring it back
a bit from the feet.
Right.
Fine.
All right.
Titty fucking.
Right.
Okay.
That's a thing.
Sure.
Yeah.
Right.
Yeah.
Um, if you're down, you're doing that and you're enjoying, are you saying you want a
chest bust of like a fucking pussy on the sternum?
No.
If you're someone who's super into the titty fucking, you're, I assume that you're not
actually trying to fuck the titty itself, you're, you're trying to enjoy the physics
of what it's supposed to.
I don't know.
This is why we'll never get on that PC gamer list of podcasts right here.
But this is important questions.
It's a, that is a lie.
That is a fucking lie.
That might be the biggest lie I've ever heard from a human.
This is not an important question.
It's important.
This is, this is what's going to keep me up is the idea, the idea of the jury foot
merch with the fucking, with the accessories on.
All right.
Um, it's confusing.
Anyway, street fighter had a really, really, really good presentation.
Yes.
Uh, so, and wheezy was there for all two minutes and 30 seconds that he was paid to be there.
He read that script accurately.
He pronounced the names correctly.
Lil Wayne did his job, shout out to the carter is like, maybe you could even play against
your boy.
Weezy.
If you play, yeah, maybe, you know, and, and, uh, to which then, uh, uh, the question
still remains is wheezy or is Lupe fiasco, the hip hop king of the FGC, you know, um,
we need to actually see that gameplay, um, there's all, as a whole segment, you can go
check out, uh, Evo top eight, but it's all rappers overrun Willy versus the algorithm
where we, we hypothesized how this would go.
Um, there was, uh, uh, uh, I think we can't, we came to the conclusion that, okay, um,
Fitty cent would, would be in that top eight of rapper FGC, uh, representatives, but only
so that he could enter the same pool as Ja Rule and then buy out all the other spots
for every other player in that pool.
So that Ja Rule is forced out of the pool and then as soon as he gets to his first match
in top 64, he gets his ass destroyed and then that that's the only reason Fitty would enter.
Snoop would enter and then be disqualified as it would be determined that he is not
actually playing his own character.
This is also a bit that we went into in, we covered, we covered all the bases.
Please go enjoy.
Rappers are silly people.
It's funny.
It's, it's, it's there.
It's caricatures.
It's caricatures, man.
It's good stuff.
Um, soldier boy would be fantastic because that would be the best rage quit of all time,
the best stick throw of all time, uh, just the biggest fit.
It'd be awesome.
Um, he would also try to sell you some drop shipped, uh, bullshit arcade stick that, uh,
the soldier stick while he was at it anyways, the whole bit, it played, it writes itself.
Um, but Lil Wayne did his job and then, uh, yeah, they showed off the features.
So what was the big thing?
The fucking thing I've been asking for the whole time, which to be perfectly honest,
the ingredients were always there, weren't they?
We saw footage of the custom characters fighting against NPCs in world tour mode.
We see the custom characters world tour mode, like much, actually much more expanded than
I thought it was going to be.
We see the custom characters hanging out in the online battle hub, just like cheering
at each other.
And then there's a big open middle of the battle hub zone where nothing is happening.
People just stand around and cheer.
Mosh pit.
Yeah.
And you're like, what could that be for?
It's for the crazy dumb, stupid, set your monster up to fight against other people's
broken NPC monsters.
We finally got it.
I feel like we need, I need to go into a couple pieces of detailed information to break down
how zany this is because it's about as zany as I ever thought I'd see a fighting game
get.
Okay.
When you make your character, you can Cronenberg them the fuck out.
I've messed a lot more with the, the character crater, the Calian and the demo.
The Cronenberg cup is coming.
The street fighter six character creator has sliders, but the sliders in the street fighter
six character creator go like more than twice as far in every direction that any other character
creator would allow.
It allows you to create the most deformed characters you've played in a fighting game.
On top of that, I watched people test it out.
The hit boxes are appropriate.
Yep.
To your characters, fucked up proportions.
I saw characters with arms going down to the floor using Luke's moveset with just the
longest jabs in the world.
If you give yourself T-Rex arms, your punches will be stubby and long shit.
They can't hit anything legitimately.
It actually is the fact is actually really tiny on your character when it comes to your
hurt box.
Yes.
It's actually really tiny.
So as on top of that, so as with large characters versus small characters, you can
get hit easier, but you can also hit easier or you can be more nimble, but you got to
work harder to get the hit in.
It's crazy.
On top of that, so we talked about this for a bunch the last time they did a street fighter
six thing.
There's two ways to make a custom character in a fighting game.
You can either be like you are playing as Ryu with your custom character.
It's Ryu.
Here's the Ryu moveset.
You are just the creative character is visual or you can do what street fighter six has
decided to do and it is, Hey, of the moves your character has learned, which quarter
circle back move do you want pick?
And you are mixing and matching and they showed off part of the trailer of custom characters
combining moves, yes, yes, in what so I went and watched your, your reaction to that presentation.
And I'm really glad that all of us, all three of us had the same brain explosion moment,
which was Kimberly's teleport into an SPD.
That's correct.
That's fucked up.
That's like what bosses do in movesets that they don't let you have dragon ball characters.
Yeah.
Um, so that absolutely.
So you've got the soul caliber school, which is the, you know, pick your pick your soul
master to kind of like emulate this character, which they'd still do have.
You can just copy one to one.
But the fun and the madness comes from the mixing and matching the no mercy school of
character creation, right, or a more obscure but more on point would be the rival schools
create a character because back in the day, Japanese, um, um, rival schools and, uh, project
justice had full on board game where you create a character and then pick from a ton of moves
to create a custom move list.
And, uh, the best part is I was so happy to see this.
Not do you own, not only do you mix and match the crazy bullshit nonsense, unbalanced moves
from the full roster, but when you go to world tour, they start doing moves that no one in
the roster has, including like a wrench throw and able role.
Someone was breathing fire.
Like there's a bunch of shit that's like, Oh, these are unique moves now.
So there's a actual unique move list, uh, that is not going to just be copying others.
So like now the, now the whole thing is open, right?
Yeah, you can have absolute, uh, chaos with move lists that might even be representative
of, uh, characters that are not in the game.
You know what I mean?
You might get the ability to approximate your own shitty bison, uh, who's not there.
Carlos Miyamoto is coming back from final fight two.
His move list is like, he's gotten forgotten for 25 years, you know, like he's there as
a custom character as well, but it's like you have the ability to do custom moves, which
is now this dark souls PVP thing that I really wanted, which is just like the most busted
thing you can think of.
Hey man.
And it's this fascinating thing.
It's like, well, what do you want to do?
Do you want to make a real character good for you?
Or do you want to make a character that can really only do one thing, but that one thing
is so fucked up that no one on the roster is ever going to be able to deal with it.
Do you want to make a character with doll sims normals that also has sonic booms and
flash kicks and just keep people at the fucking other corner for an entire game?
Why could do it?
Why would you give yourself a flash kick when you can give yourself a shoryuken, which
requires no charge?
Yeah, sonic booms and shoryuken with doll sims moveset.
I mean, you know, you're staying out and you're going to stay out forever.
Absolute madness.
And this is the only way to win the Kronenberg cup, right?
This is what we're heading for.
You make like real characters or like use existing movesets, no, you're crazy.
I can't fucking wait.
All right.
I want to see.
I can't wait for the let me solo hers and the just the, you know, like the biggest, dumbest,
most naked, giant, accessory cap wearing dudes that are winning and cannot be beat because
they figured out the exact busted metaphor this week.
And then the people who come back and make your arms this length and combine them with
doll sims moveset, you can actually tag people in the other corner.
It's going to be the fucking best.
And that's happening right there.
And the cabinet where sane, normal, God fearing street fighter is in the ring still happening.
On top of that, what really stood out to me is they had a bit where they're there.
The freaks are fighting in the middle, but they're like the games world tour version
of the freaks, which is mean they, they approximate like a normal human shape.
But in the background, you could tell that the background spectators are the people that
are in the battle.
Because a couple of the ones in the back, they weren't full freaks, but they were definitely
like that guy's arms are huge and out to the side and that guy's too tall or whatever.
So that means your battle network lights or your battle hub freak fights will have the
real freaks in the background, just being nightmares.
So there's going to be a really fun thing where people are going to log into these rooms.
Some people will scaredly run up the stairs and hide as they get their serious fights
going.
And some people will run straight for the middle with eight arms going and then there's
going to be just the chaos of these two worlds, but they're in the same space forced to collide.
I'm so happy.
I'm so happy this feature is confirmed.
Don't look at the players in the middle.
Do not shake their hands if you can find them, you know, it's, it's going to be fascinating.
Like I want to see, like, because the, you know, the stubby normals is going to be a
problem for the small characters, but I'm like, I don't know how small you can make
the character.
I bet you can make them pretty fucking small, probably like, like stupid, small, like, like
normals go over their head small.
It's the scene from the Street Fighter cartoon where the door opens and all the monsters
come out except they're completely they're all character creators.
And I want to see how the throw animations just completely fall apart on the, on the
Cronenbergs.
Oh man.
Yeah.
I mean, really, if you're doing Menon's twirls, yeah, where she forces you to, like, be in
step sync with her, like, it's just fall, it's going to be so awful.
Yeah.
So that's, that is, that is the best announcement.
That is the best.
Um, furthermore, we got some more look at world tour.
We got to try out world tour.
And yeah, just like the tiniest little bit of world tour, pretty great that you can
just be walking around and just be picking fights with, yo, eight, eight child, you want
a battle?
And child was like, let's go and yeah.
And like cops are out there picking fights and you're like, yeah, they are.
And you can like, uh, I'm looking at the like, hey, you can't get on the subway.
And I'm like, why can't I just swing?
And we decide who gets on the subway via combat.
Yeah.
Bring the battle world, you know, um, it's this wonderful little thing that it's
it's, I love these types of gameplay modes where it's like, you always have this thing
where you're looking at the fictional world of Metro city or the street fighting universe.
And you're like, what is, what is the day to day life of the people in street fighter
look like?
And world tour says it looks like this exactly.
That's fucking stupid.
That is a zany fucking place to live, but it follows the rules of the, um, sports slash
buddy, uh, monster anime, right?
You've got to have the world where, Hey, when I go to this restaurant, uh, I might be able
to, uh, show you my Pikachu.
And if you think my fur is fluffy enough, I'll eat for free, right?
Yeah.
At the same time, way over there, there's the world where the suave, um, uh, playboy
is drinking at the bar and then he buys a gunpla for the cute girl at the other end
and goes compliments of me and she's like, Oh my God, look at this gunpla and that everyone
in that world, that's the thing, right?
Or you pull out your Yu-Gi-Oh cards to fuck it, whatever the world is, everyone plays
Yu-Gi-Oh.
This is weird.
So what is it going to be in street fighter?
Swing first.
Nigga.
Let's go.
Every single person, every man, woman, child, mutant, Cronenberg, cop, mailman, restaurant
here, delivery guy, taxi driver, plumber, et cetera, are all just waiting around.
And if you walk up to them and go, Hey, how about we fucking fight?
They go, Okay.
Yeah.
Sure.
That sounds like a great idea.
That's it.
And I'm hoping that it's like, if you beat me, yeah, you'll, I'll give you a discount.
How about that?
You've earned it.
You know, fight the fridge.
Exactly.
And also it's like, it paints this world in which like it's hard to injure people in
the street fighter universe.
Like people, people, like you start with Luke's moveset, right?
And you're doing like Luke's like command, command normals and throw on some guy trying
to sell you a pizza and you knock his ass out and he just dusts himself off and goes,
Yeah, I got something back to selling pizza.
At the same time, they just introduced, Hey, look at the battle damage that you can take
between rounds.
That is such a weird combination of these two ideas, but it's also very street fighter
identity because when you think back to street fighter two, there's, I have, I have clothing
that is just the beaten up losing portraits, right?
Yeah.
Seeing your character get fucked up in street fighter is like as old as world warrior.
So it makes sense to see the battle damage be a thing.
Um, yeah, man, off if you don't like, you can turn it off if you don't like it, but
uh, that's fun.
And I'm just like, I'm really happy to see that like they're, they're doing exactly
the things I wanted to see the alt costumes they showed off for some of the characters
looked fun.
Hey, look, it's, it's, hey, do you want, do you not want the new thing?
Do you want Ryu to be wearing the white?
Okay, here you go.
Here you go.
Here you go.
That also your rival in world tour mode, Bosch looks so much fucking, he's so swagged out.
His drip is incredible compared to your bullshit.
It is the character creator rival problem in that like, like think of commander shepherd.
Think of like the commander shepherd.
That's the scanned in male model box archer, right?
And then you go, I'm going to go make my own male shepherd.
And then you're like, fuck, this looks like shit.
Bosch is that guy.
Bosch is like, you didn't make this with the character creator.
You made this with an artist and a program.
Yeah, exactly.
Um, I could see him being someone that like, we spend the entire life cycle of this game
going, please make Bosch a fighter for real.
And they'll go, no, no, we won't.
He's hot.
You want to go to world tour.
That's why we, that's why we made him hot.
Um, yeah.
No, he looked like any, any, the first thing he does is dive kick you.
So you're like, fuck, he's got dive kick privilege too.
Uh, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm happy to see world tours.
Exactly.
As goofy as it is, it, it promised, and they show off that we'll be doing dramatic battles.
We'll be fighting refrigerators.
I hope that it's not like five hours long.
And then you just completely like never, they never touch it again kind of thing.
I hope that we get a decent length of content out of it and it would be fun if every once
in a while there was like, Hey, we added a new neighborhood.
You know, I don't think we'll get new neighborhoods, but they did say that the deal
C characters would have, um, world tour content.
Okay.
That's cool.
So like when Rashid gets added, he'll be somewhere because you got to go find him and
learn his shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
Right.
So naturally every character that drops will come with some world tour content for you
to learn their whole thing.
And depending on who they are, like obviously Chun Li comes with Lee Fen, right?
So maybe I could hanging out with Rashid involves hanging out with a Zom, you know,
maybe hanging out with Ed means meeting Falk somewhere.
Yeah.
That would assume that it could actually be like five hours.
If you're like, I'm just going to go to where Bosch is hanging out and beat up Bosch.
And then I'm going to go to the new location and beat up Bosch.
But I assume if you actually want to talk to and chill out and learn the moves of every
character on that roster, it will actually be a hell of a lot meatier than that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I can imagine there's going to be a ton of just optional because maximizing that move
list is that's a lot of characters to master and spend time with.
So you could probably go through that whole mode and be like, I'm playing as Luke in my
custom character form and that's it.
And if again, if we're seeing the likes of one Carlos Miyamoto from Final Fight two,
one can only assume that the deep cuts from the Capcom database are going to be showing
up, you know, if you're getting Ed, you might just get the shadow Lou shadow Lou gorilla
Baba Yaga who you may there's so shadow Neo shadow Lou is basically the group that Ed
founds of like people who are like, let's save all the shadow Lou kids and let's like
Oh yeah, that's a shadow Lou gorilla.
Get the fuck out of here.
And let's save all the shadow Lou kids and people that are experimented on including
Falk Ed and a gorilla named Baba Yaga, Baba Muarrim.
Apparently, but or Baba Mualumu or something, whatever, that's yeah, there's a little gorilla
something like that.
There you go.
Whatever shadow Lou shadow Lou gorilla, right?
So get a bison also was like, what if I die?
I'll put myself into a cute girl's body or a gorilla or those were his options.
Yeah.
And then was bison was was pressing you bison was was playing the field.
He was trying to figure out what he wanted to read carnate as and it seems like his options
included.
Oh, yes, a bunch of cute dolls or Ed or able or maybe even a gorilla, you know, I think
I think they should bring bison back as a DLC character and it should be the gorilla wearing
tattered bison clothing the dictator had.
I mean, we've already had Ed and Kami and tattered bison clothing.
So like, we can do that, but this time it's a gorilla.
But also, but we can't because bison is stuck inside of JP's stick.
Is that true?
I mean, it seems like his soul is trapped inside of JP's like, like, like, like came.
That seems to be the deal, you know.
And I hope that like, he talks shit is like, you want it to reincarnate?
Well, here you go, reincarnate as my fucking pimp came, idiot.
Oh, that's a bummer.
Yeah.
Um, anyway, the idea that they're like the whole time bison was terrorizing the world
with psycho power.
There was some guy over here that didn't care about any of that shit that was just much
better at it than my son.
This is the history of the villain sequel, you know, issue, right?
The power creep.
You have to always have the guy that laid in the cut for the whole thing.
It's like, I don't care, man, I want to be rich and almost step on people's faces.
Yeah.
Um, so no, that's that's that's looking good for world tour mode.
I'm pretty, pretty excited about that.
And then they showed off the first round of DLC.
So I was wondering, I was like, you can't go too hard on this because it's weird to
announce extra content for people before the thing that they've spent the money on is even
out yet.
Right.
Right.
But at the same time, people already know what that shit is.
It's been leaked and we can at the very least go, hey, if you're a fan of Akuma and you're
like, where's Akuma?
Here he is.
He's coming.
And yes, he'll be coming out in May of next year.
And also he's still keeping the big lion's main beard.
I think they can fix it as long as they make it not a perfect circle around his face.
I think that is also going to be a solution.
They fixed Ken's head and hair.
I feel I'm not worried about anything else.
Yep.
Um, can't wait to see Rashid just spinning mix his way through every drive impact.
It's going to be a good time.
And yeah, I'm good for Rashid being first out the gate.
Like he was a really cool new addition of the roster in five.
So I have to assume that when you drop Akuma eventually because as you know, Akuma is DLC,
it's like, we know the ones you want and we're going to, we're going to sell you them for
sure.
Akuma has been relegated to you're going to buy him forever now.
Yes.
Like Bikin, you will always pay for Bikin.
That's it.
No more baseline roster Bikin ever.
I have to assume as well though that imagine how cool the single player content could be
for that.
If it's like, oh shit, a mysterious island has appeared off the coast, go to that island
to find out what's going on.
And it's fucking Akuma Island.
And that's the island here.
And that's how you go learn his shit, right?
You go on a whole other bit for him and hit just for just for learning all the his moves.
You know, like there's a whole thing you can do with like, depending on the gravitas of
the character, go to an area to learn all their stuff.
Like that would be really exciting.
So yeah, that looks very cool.
And then they dropped the, of course, and the demo is available now.
No.
It'll be available on Wednesday for those, for people who don't have a PlayStation.
Yeah.
So the PS5, PS4 version available right off the bat and then the PC version coming a week
later.
And it was a world tour demo plus two player local and then the tutorials and the new battle
demonstrations as well.
At a glance, I can see they've, as far as the teaching stuff goes, they got a lot better
over the demonstrations last time.
There's some pretty cool.
With a few notable exceptions.
With a few notable exceptions.
Oh God.
Okay, so the good stuff is that they describe every move, they describe the utility of the
move and they've added two extra things that are really key here.
One is the ability to press the back button to then, or the touchpad to then jump into
the demonstration and try it for yourself, right?
So they'll tell you what to do and how it works and why, and then you can go test it
out to your heart's content and then jump back into the demonstration.
And then the second thing they did was they didn't have this in five.
They describe neutral, right?
They actually show you examples of neutral play.
Now the problem is in this one infamous screenshot, they're like, when you do crouching low kicks,
that's called footsies and everyone's like, oh, for the love of God, we're just gonna
confuse the shit out of people.
So I went and checked on this, that is actually a translation error.
Exactly.
It's a translation error.
It turns out in Japanese, it just says, it uses the word that they use for legitimately
crouching low kick attacks and the English translation decided to unfortunately use a
term.
Flavor it up.
That is too general and not going, and it's gonna confuse new players who aren't familiar
with footsies because when people talk about footsies, they're not just talking about crouching
low kicks.
Like there's a lot.
But you should have said sweeps or just low attacks.
Yeah, and you know, it wouldn't even be bad to introduce the word neutral.
I don't think that would be the worst thing in the world because it's kind of like, it
paints a picture of like, sometimes you're on offense, sometimes you're on defense like
in any sport, but then sometimes there's a, it's anybody's game.
We have to see what happens.
But anyway, I suggest if you want your description of footsies, go check out the infill glossary
is still one of the best resources and you can see there, it describes the battle for
space, you know?
But that infamous use of the word aside, they show you a thing with Ryu and with Luke and
they're like, okay, so from round start distance, you want to kind of use fireballs.
You want to pepper out a couple of crouching medium kicks into fireball.
And just, you know, you can fight from about here, try to control that distance, right?
And then once you get a little bit closer, you can, it's the perfect time to start using
some mediums, you know?
And then once you, and then you can fight at that range and once you get even closer,
you have these tools.
And it kind of shows you an example of like, oh, like here's how you start doing things.
And it's, and it's, it was missing in the demonstrations in five.
And I think that's such a key important thing because a lot of games, we've had this discussion
many times, but like a lot of games, the genre is, it implies what the goal is, you know,
you get dropped into a racing game, hit the fucking finish line, go, right?
You get dropped into an FPS, go shoot the person.
But learning how to move and play properly in like an FPS or an RTS takes a while.
But at bare minimum, you understand, go, go hit the, go shoot the opponent.
And in this case, it's deplete your opponent's life bar.
But it feels like in a fighting game, if you've, if you're just completely lost, you're being
dropped into a sandbox where you're like, but I can do anything right now.
How do I know doing one thing is not better than doing another?
Like I could just keep jumping or I could back away.
I could dash up.
I could press anything.
I don't know for what the difference of the value of my actions is.
When I'd be playing like four or five, like say I played, you know, I play almost entirely
Grapplers, right?
But let's say I'm like, okay, I'll, I'll try out, um, fucking, uh, Guile, let's, let's,
let's imagine I don't know how to play Guile, right?
Um, and I'm, what the fuck is my game plan?
I just seem to have a, a, a harder choreo and a harder projectile with the, the fuck
am I supposed to be doing?
And it's like just a small phrase of like Guile excels at this range and at keeping
people out with this move in this mood, because you can charge both in the, just like, just
give people like the basic one sentence game plan for the character.
I remember a long time ago, someone was doing a street fighter two like guide and there
was a really cool set of visuals I saw where there were like, here's Ryu and Ken, right?
And you just saw them standing on a stage and then you saw a big red line in front
of them.
Oh, that's David Sirland's how to play street fighter too.
And then there was the box right in front for the show, you can, and it was like, this
is the, this L shape is what Ken and Ryu can do.
Right?
If you're just own this space, they own this space, right?
And like the idea and then Blanca, it's like there's an up diagonal and a straight forward,
you know, and you can just kind of go like, Oh yeah, my moves cover this walk around and
keep in mind that you can put the pressure on with these shapes and like other people
that can't, you want to use your shapes to your advantage and that it was just, you know,
a very basic thing.
So all that to say that if you're just, if you had like a picture of Zangief, it'd be
like just a big red box.
In front of you the way over on top of Zangief going, Zangief controls the space around Zangief.
So put Zangief next to the opponent.
So yeah, it's a, and so with these demonstrations in the game, I highly recommend that like,
you know, even if you're familiar with these games and stuff, go read them.
They're great at just giving a baseline explanation and there's, we're getting past that era
of like, Hey, pick a character.
It's a mystery.
Figure it out.
Figure the fuck out.
Hopefully someone will eventually start inventing the character.
So you're like, what's Rufus good for?
And then Justin Wong is like, Oh, dive kicks.
And then we go, Oh, okay, got it.
Now everyone's going to do that.
But because also there's, there's the, there's the prescribed goal for Guile, which is sit
at the fucking corner and make sure no one can touch you.
And then there's the reality of some Guile players, which is like, no, go in, go in
super hard and fucking use sonic booms to go in in ways that no one else can because you
can recover so fast.
And as we were going through it, like we were learning things.
There was stuff that we didn't know, like Reggie learned something about Ryu when we're
going through the tutorial.
So like, I highly recommend checking those out.
Like the demonstrations in five were great too, but this just like refines that it makes
it even better.
So, um, great, great feature, uh, uh, that they have their, um, character specific, you
know, for like, Hey, this is what this person is about.
Um, and then yeah, just, you know, played some locals, played some, some long, long
sets, uh, got my fucking ass packaged, handed and, uh, and returned to sender on that.
Like I'm going to have to fucking really, I'm going to Reggie plays plays Ryu in general.
Doesn't he?
Reggie is a lifelong Ryu.
Okay.
So you are like Luke's cool, but like you're, you're not a lifer for Luke cause that's
not possible.
I'm not, I'm not, I'm, I'm waiting on, uh, the green boy.
I'm waiting on, uh, muscle mommy.
I want to be picked up.
So I think the fact that they put two player local in there is fucking awesome.
And I think the ability to fight the CPU, including the level eight massively overpowered fuck
ass five star CPU is incredible.
But I went to that one V one screen and saw Luke and Ryu and went, man, I don't even give
a shit.
Yeah.
I think, I think Capcom took a look at the situation and went, uh, you PC fuckers ain't
getting shit.
I think, I think they, they, they, they went, no, world tour demo and here's a little taste
of what's going on, but no, um, I will say that like Ryu, obviously being included, he's
always in the demos, five had its demo and he was, you know, like you got to do that.
Ryu being there is mandatory.
It's mandatory.
It's, it's how you get your bearings.
Luke is how you get your Neo bearings, right?
You're like, oh, he's the new, he's the new way it's going to work from now on.
He dash, you know, but, um, yeah, you're not going to get a feel for like how different
these characters are, uh, uh, until the, the, the proper thing is in your hands for sure.
But I will say like having the ability to actually practice with Ryu, like, yeah, at
some point before release, I'm going to fucking use the demo and learn some basic Ryu shit
because when are you ever going to not need to know basic Ryu shit?
Everyone's going to do it to you.
Exactly.
Exactly.
You might as well know.
Ryu is going to be, whatever you're learning with him is going to be some of it transferrable
to your other characters, even if it's just getting used to the drive system.
If you want to get better at canceling the right buttons, if you want to get better at
hit confirming all these little simple things, you're going to pick somebody that has stuff
that Ryu can teach you, you know, so, um, yeah, we're going to, I suggest, yeah, if you,
if anyone who's interested wants to fucking get a feel for this, grab that demo.
And then yeah, when you, when you're, you know, if you don't have any locals around,
turn that computer up to level eight and don't worry, you won't beat it.
It's that thing is, I got my high fight.
I got mine.
I got, did you get the, did you get it with all the advantage on?
No, no, no, no.
Handicap off.
No, no, no.
Just level it.
Did you see, did you see high fight put up a video of fighting the level five advantage?
Oh my fucking god.
So back in the day when you used to put up the handicap stars, it would make your damage
go up and your, uh, defense go up, but that was all it did.
Yeah.
It was just numerical.
Now it's replaced with the advantage stars, which is like, you can get healing and you
can do touch of death damage off of like a level three, um, completely unfair, completely
unfair character and, uh, the, the level five advantage that they add is like, if you are
not hit for three seconds, you start to very rapidly regenerate your life.
So shout outs, high fight on YouTube and Twitter, a great account for just fun little
fighting game clips fought level eight, uh, uh, CPU with the crazy high star five star
advantage on, and you get to walk through the process of like, this is how cheap and
unfair SNK boss syndrome as this thing is.
And here's the, here's how you can do it though.
And he managed to do it with hash Ogeki, just finding that one little pattern that the computer
couldn't handle, but it's so nuts.
Cause like, if you fuck up once, it's over, you know?
Yeah.
So I'm looking at it at five advantage, the CPU hits you three times as hard, starts with
the level three only uses 20% of their normal gauge use and their, their vitality will regenerate
to like full in 10 seconds if they're not taking damage.
So like he walks forward and I think where you hit him like with a medium and just killed
him instantly.
Yeah.
It's like, that's, that's what you're dealing with.
Oh, let me just run through the bathroom real quick.
Oh, you know what?
I could also use that.
Okay.
We'll take a little longer break.
Right.
So, um, yeah, we're now back and I have a tart.
Uh, that's cool.
It's pear flavored.
So yeah, I just wanted to basically wrap that up and say that, um, for anybody who was like,
we got a message last week, you know, from someone saying, Hey, let's, uh, Hey, should
I wait on six or should I start playing five or, you know,
should fucking wait on six.
And, um, well, you can get a demo right now and you can start playing that and start messing
around with that.
Uh, you picking Lucario and, uh, you can play against anyone locally or if you want to take
a crack at it, turn that CPU all the way up and see, uh, see how you do, you know, or
you can actually go to one of the, um, if you go to the demonstration for the supers,
the tutorials for the supers, and then you try it yourself, you have a impromptu training
mode.
Yeah.
Cause just don't do the super it's asking you to do, do everything else.
So, uh, there's a, there's a decent way for you to get your, uh, bearings and, and start
feeling the game out from now and even get a little experience in.
So, uh, yeah.
Pretty cool.
Um, now, uh, this chart is so good, man.
Now unrelated to that, uh, we've been, you know, continuing our LPs, however, as far
as the schedule goes this week, uh, we are not going to be available for the regular
streaming, uh, as Reggie and I will be out of town.
Uh, we will be traveling over to the Capcom USA offices to check some stuff out.
So, uh, we're not going to be available for the next couple of days.
So yeah, just a heads up as to the stream schedule, um, what do you, what do you guys
are going to check out?
We're going to go and see if we can check out some stuff, whatever's happening inside
that stuff.
What are you, what are you, what are you talking about?
Whatever is happening inside that building, uh, gonna go, gonna go see, gonna go find
out and then, uh, talk about it at a later date when that's, when that's okay to do.
But, um, in the meantime, that's just a quick, quick heads up about that and, uh, yeah, gonna
have some content to drop eventually, um, I hope you guys like the same things I like
because I'm going to be talking about them, um, for a good amount of time.
I talk about the things I like and I make videos about those things.
So there's going to be a bunch of videos about things I like.
All right.
What could he be talking about?
All right.
What could he be referencing?
Um, yeah, well, um, yeah, that being said, though, uh, the, uh, the, the, of course,
the episodes of the LPs to continue.
So be sure to head on over to woolly versus where you can check out the latest in mass
effect three, um, boy, uh, taken Javik on that mission to the, uh, to, to, uh, to the
fucking, uh, the homeworld of the, um, Asari, Asari was, that was a lot of fun.
There was a whole lot of fun there and I kind of wish I, I'm so, I just, I can't believe
like the impact of that moment is dwarfed only by the impact of remembering that this
was a DLC character.
Oh yeah.
Every time something like that happens over and over and over that this is a separate piece
of content optionally sold and made available, that it's just how the, he's fast, probably
the poster.
So him and the street fighter cross tech and characters are like the, the fucking avatar,
like the, the, the ideal or form of fucking bullshit DLC monetization.
I've never seen a video game where a more important character or piece of content like
that was not available in the base game and like thinking about like the obvious bullshit
that is the, um, we're going to sell you the ending pop zero and a serious wrath.
Like yeah, Javik is still the most unbelievable piece of where we can actually, this is removable
and I'm thinking about the years before the legendary edition, when I used to hear about
how Mass Effect two had tons of problems getting the DLC working in the old version
and shit and it's like, oh, terrible.
There were port years where like you couldn't access some of the extra shit is just, it's
so bafflingly insane.
It's like playing Kotor two and Creya was DLC.
It's I just, I can't, you know what I mean?
Like I just, I can't overstate how important he is and how much I don't know what this
game is without him in the original Mass Effect three.
He was supposed to have a greater role and be a more active participant in the real story.
Like with the, with the catalyst and all that shit, like the fucking, you know, the thing
you're building.
But when the decision comes down to be like, well, no, he's got to be DLC.
Well, he can't act in the main story anymore.
He can only flavor it.
So like his, so even that, that part is just gone now.
Like the part that would have mattered is also been taken away because they couldn't
sell it as a separate thing, madness, absolute madness.
The more, the more I, I, I stare at these this game, the more I just like, I have such
an appreciation for the stuff that works when it works and I have nothing but bewilderment
for the stuff that is not the product of time being short, but is the product of a bad weird
decision being made.
Right?
Yeah.
There's stuff where you can go, oh, they didn't have time and that's why that came out badly.
But there's stuff where it's like, no, no, no, it wasn't about time that you made a choice
that was a fucking weird one, you know?
So I don't, I don't want to go too into this.
Sure.
Sure.
Sure.
The version of the game that you're playing is a substantially very improved version
of that game.
In particular, the DLCs that came out, like there's a Omega, which is like kind of whatever,
Leviathan's pretty good.
And then the rework of the ending, right?
And like, you start to get to it and you're like, this is the combination of a bad decision
that led to no time because the decision to, to make it like this was late, was, was deep
in there and when you, when you go through that whole ending process and you get, you
know, you do your whole thing and you'd be like, go and do, do the legwork and go look
at what that shit shipped with because you will be blown away.
Okay.
I mean, it was, it was crazy enough going through Kotor and then seeing the non-content
restored version of events and going like, oh my God, I would have been so upset.
Kind of like that.
Yeah.
Um, and, and I also, uh, I also, I'm just now I'm so curious because like, okay, I've
seen Kotor, I've seen Mass Effect, uh, and I'm in the process of wrapping that up and
I'm like, I want to know just how this formula, like, does this just continue to happen across
Dragon Age and was Jade Empire spared by being its own isolated thing, you know?
It is the result.
So I played every game EA released in that period, right?
So I'm like right there, Dead Space and Mass Effect because they were the big sellers,
they got it really bad.
Mirror's Edge got it too, but Mirror's Edge, the decision was to just not do Mirror's Edge
anymore.
They didn't see the future for it.
Dead Space and Mass Effect both had like identical paths.
Like the first one was like really good, but it was kind of, there were this and that and
there was no real fucking monetization.
It was like normal.
It was like, oh, here's a DLC, pinnacle stick, right?
Then the second one, they're like, what if we, for Dead Space was like, what if we put
in the shittiest multiplayer mode ever?
And then for Mass Effect, it was like, what if we just loaded this motherfucker up with
every piece of like weapon DLC and character DLC possible?
And then you get to the third ones.
And like Dead Space 3, I would say is like abjectly ruined by its monetization changes.
Like they changed the way guns work in that game.
Like, yeah, you played Dead Space 1, so you would remember how awesome the plasma cutter
was and how distinctive the line cutter was?
What if instead of that you just built a weapon together and actually just stacked four line
guns onto one another that uses a universal ammo type?
But like these, this type of like DLCification era, it has a unique effect on games like
with story.
Yeah.
The, you know, the Bioware games because those are cutting chunks of world's cohesion
out, you know?
So Dragon Age 1 was a normal game and then it had a normal expansion.
It's a positively old school by comparison.
Dragon Age 2 was a rushed mess and still had a normal expansion that was also a rushed
mess.
Then Inquisition was long in the tooth and then that came out way after the Mass Effect
3 controversy.
So what they did is they wildly over delivered on, on like regions and content and quests
in that game.
So Inquisition is a massive bloated mess.
It's the opposite problem.
Okay.
Because no one really, everyone talks about, I feel like if I had to give my impression
of Dragon Age from the outside, it's that like the characters stand out and you can
fuck them and the world itself does not.
No.
It's fairly, fairly old school fans.
It's actually more generic than the forgotten realms setting that the Baldur's Gate games
had, which is wild because that's like the generic.
Um, yeah, Dragon Age Inquisition is so bloated that there were articles coming out alongside
the game's release.
There was like the first level in the game was called the Hinterlands and it was like
you need to leave the Hinterlands because you could level from like a third of the way
to cap without leaving the first area because it had so much shit and all that content was
kind of mediocre.
Hmm, like it feels like an MMO that they retrofit into a single player game.
It's such a weird fucking thing.
Is it true that the world is called Fedas?
Because it's Thedas because Dragon Age setting.
The DAS Dragon Age setting.
Yeah.
God damn dude.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Fucking terrible.
So, yeah, that, that, so it just, it just, it's, it's, yeah, it's, it's so, so, so baffling,
you know.
So it's, it's, it's really wild.
I'm so excited because Mass Effect 3 has like, what you've played up till now is like,
it's pretty, pretty good quality overall.
Maybe this isn't the best.
Maybe that isn't the best.
Like I wish we got to, got to actually land on the Turian homeworld.
Like I think that would have been cool.
I'm getting a cleaned up experience here as with Fedasaur.
Yeah.
And then you get to the point and like, I've never played a game where you're like, all
the bad decisions start right now and it is, it is this wild experience.
It's so strange.
I have, you know, I said it in the LP, but it's like, I have a lot of sympathy for the,
the decisions that suffer because this is the end of a bunch of dominoes that may or
may not have been hit over two games ago, you know, um, living in dead characters and,
and how that plays out is like, to be fair, if you want your consequences to matter, then
you have to have a setting where these people can be dead, even if they are important and
yadda yadda, you know, um, but, but, uh, yeah, I just, there's a difference between a character
that you killed versus one that you didn't buy, you know, so anyway, um, uh, all that,
all that is, is, is very, it's extra wild because Mass Effect three was so afraid of
used game sales because that's what the boogeyman in the, in this story is, right?
It was this used game stealing all our profits.
So they had Javik, which was in the box, if you bought it brand new, but then they also
had the multiplayer mode to keep, like they, they doubled up on fear of use games.
And the fun thing about that is the multiplayer mode in that game is actually really good.
So they didn't need to do that at all with Javik.
They could have just, they could have just left it.
Um, yeah.
And Javik was not in the box.
Am I misremembering that?
Did you have to, would, would you, would you, how was it presented?
Did you boot it up and then it's told you right away, hey, go get this shit now on the
title screen?
Like what?
He was pre-order.
Oh, he was pre-order.
Oh my God.
Well, that's, that's, and he was in the deluxe edition.
So that's the worst.
Oh, that's actually the worst.
That is so much worse.
Fuck you, unless you early adopt a, oh, oh, oh, oh, it's so bad.
It's so bad.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's pretty awful.
All right.
Well, um, that rules good times, uh, up ahead, uh, and, uh, as I said, the gen of video games
was so awful.
It was so bad, dude.
Like, so AAA had to push the limits to see how far the rubber band would stretch.
You know, um, they were always going to, and they will keep doing so, but yeah, I just,
I remember that time and I remember like being in QA and just like coming into the office
and seeing some of the worst of it and just being like, yeah, this is what, this is what
it is now.
It's that Mona Lisa meme.
We're going to cut it up and we're going to fucking throw it at you.
And um, I remember the Mona Lisa meme being like, oh, that's ridiculous.
That's not how it is.
And then like in the years that followed and developers came out and like, that was exactly
how it was.
Um, like I couldn't get, and if you haven't seen it, again, it's the Mona Lisa cut and
took into pieces being sold to you in modern day, whereas back in the day, you got the
full Mona Lisa and then later on, if you wanted something else, an expansion pack would come
out.
You know, Brute Wars was not a part of Starcraft, the base campaign.
It was a cold, separate thing, which they sold to you because they made it afterwards and
then they added new units and then they made more story and then they said, here you go.
It's another box.
You're like, oh, okay.
So the wildest thing about that is like the lie was always like, well, the D the thing
that we're selling as DLC wouldn't exist if we didn't budget for it because to sell it
as DLC, so it's actually extra content or, you know, it's coming out later because it's
a planned thing.
And then it just comes out over and over like, no, that was done like early and it's the
decision from on high came down, which was something needs to be sold extra.
Pick something.
It's like, it's exactly what everyone thought it was.
Yeah.
Uh, I really do, I've, it comes up a lot, but I just, I'm so glad that like the craziest
versions of these things didn't catch on the, the squeenix, um, pre-order ranges for Tomb
Raider and Deus Ex died there.
No one else has since, as far as I know, made it so that if you pre-order in the first 60
days, you get tier A, but if you pre-order after tier A has closed, you then only get
the tier B bonuses in the 30 day mark augment your pre-order, uh, you know, you mentioned
brood war.
And I want to use this as an excuse to bring up a little historical factoid that I don't
think I ever knew or realized about how different it used to be.
Well, do you remember when Starcraft came out?
The date?
I don't.
Yeah.
The date?
No.
What year?
Starcraft came out in March of 98 and it was a smash success.
Of course it did.
98.
Do you remember when brood war came out?
Oh, it's like 99, don't say 99.
December of 98.
Oh my God.
Jesus Christ, it was that quick, wasn't it?
It was right then.
That is, like, that's how it used to be.
Wow.
Expansions would come, expansions, which is double the content of the game, would come
out for 40 bucks instead of 60, nine months to a year later.
Wow.
I didn't remember it being that close.
Nobody needs to be told how fucking incredible fucking brood war was.
Yeah, um, it's funny how that works the opposite when Ultimate Marvel dropped way too
soon after Vanilla Marvel and it was like, oh god damn it, just, you should have waited.
But yeah, in that context, that's crazy, 98, 98.
While I feel like, you know what, you know why I also don't remember it being that soon?
Because we were poor and we didn't buy brood wars until well after that.
You know, we got through that campaign and then eventually got around to it when we could
afford it.
That explains why my memories of Starcraft are exclusively that of brood war.
Because I was selling brood war to people at school and everybody was playing brood
war and then I played brood war for like the entirety of the remainder of high school.
I'm like, well, when the fuck, when would, when would Starcraft, why can't I remember
just Starcraft?
Oh, that's why.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah, I don't, I don't think we got around to brood wars until like over a year later,
for sure.
You know.
And like you, you skip forward a couple of years, do you remember?
Hey guys, Starcraft 2 is going to come out as just the Terrans and then you'll wait three
years for the Zerg version.
Yeah, yeah, cutting that up.
Well, at the same time too, though, I felt that part of that, besides the obvious capitalizing,
was also the ultimate in like tiptoeing because Starcraft is such an institution that like
anything wrong needs to be corrected on, you know, a suit like, so they're such a gradual
like, do you like this?
No.
Okay.
Like to the whole game release process.
I kind of felt like they probably were doing these staggered releases as a means of course
correcting aggressively to make people like Starcraft 2 in case they hated it, which they
initially did.
Anyways, anyways, anyways, Mass Effect 3 and FF9 will continue over on Woolly Versus and
on Woolly Versus.
You know, what's funny is that FF9 also has weird bullshit monetization, but you can't
see it was in regards to the fucking officially licensed strategy guide.
Like two or three pages would have a thing that says login to play online and then you'd
go to login on play online and it would be fucking broken.
So that fucking strategy guide was a worthless piece of shit and it was the officially licensed
one.
Jesus.
Okay.
Yeah.
No.
No, thanks.
That's, that's quite fine.
I don't think I will.
No, I'm going to go to GameFAQs.
Thank you.
Oh, fuck yeah, for everything.
I think I was talking to Mid about this before, but it was like that there was that era of
like I printed out the third strike FAQ.
Like I just had a stack of paper.
I printed out an FF7 walkthrough in like 1990s, like the back half of 97.
So good.
And like my dad came home and was like, what the hell are you doing?
And I'm like, I'm printing out a guide.
He's like, how big is this?
I'm like, I don't know.
It was like, you knew, you fucking knew, so it was, you saw the page town ran out of ink.
Of course it did.
You start getting like the back.
By the time you're on disc three, the text is in pink and then, and then what happened
was because the printer ran out of ink.
And I'm like a child.
I don't know how to start over from a different page.
And I was like, oh, I still have like 50 pages to go.
I just copied the text off the word pad document and then put it into a note.
Sorry.
Off the note pad document and then put it into a word pad document and then printed that.
So like the last 50 pages of my FF7 guide were just fun space like trash.
Oh God, hurt your eyes to figure out where North Cave is.
That's great.
That's fucking fantastic.
Yeah.
Oops.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Man, before the tech of double double-sided printing even so you could save the paper
at least.
Jesus.
Anyway, printing out game facts, man, that's that's that's the fucking that's the real
shit.
Uh, yeah, but yeah, that's me.
Um, we got some new clips coming to Oliver Stee algorithm, some, um, uh, street fighters
related stuff as well.
And, uh, yeah, just, uh, you know, look, you're going to see some just dumps of hours of
of locals and just it's fine.
All right.
Just, you know, I'll be quite honest.
Well, I laughed super hard.
I was getting ready to do my bullshit.
And then I scrolled past your announcement on Twitter that was like, I'm not even going
to fucking everything's canceled.
Street fight.
Street fighter time now.
And then I was like, okay, so let's see what's happening.
And it's like three and a half, four hours in.
I'm like, is this motherfucker just doing Ryu matches for like five hours?
I guess he is.
I'm not going to pretend that my soul craves anything else.
Like to sit here.
You know what I had scheduled?
I had terror, Jerome, and you sure did.
Fight of steel scheduled like, am I going to, am I going to sit here and pretend I give
a fuck?
Are you, do you want to watch me playing these games while staring at the clock off?
Or can I just, or can I reveal the contents of my soul to you, which is running the same
goddamn set for five hours?
All right.
This is what we do.
This is what it is.
You want to know, you want to see what it is.
All right.
You're going to be asking me, the hypothetical you is going to be asking about how to do
exactly what this is a couple of years from now because you're not doing it right now.
Right.
I remember a fucking when Capcom sent me and you, those, those devil may cry five codes,
but they're like embargo is Dave release.
I'm like, okay, well I can't stream it.
So I'm like, I'm like, I guess I got to do a normal two weeks of streams.
And then I was going to your place as well to record it, but like I'd get home and I'd
be like, I guess I got a stream, whatever, whatever sitting there, I'm sitting there
just like, like literally like people are going to get their goddamn four hours guaranteed
and I promise, but the whole time like, what if I just, what if I was just finding all
the blue orbs and fucking team C five.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I, and I've just, you know, it's, it's, it's, that's, this is the life.
This is what it is.
And I'm, and I'm looking at it and I'm like, is this one match running or going to be absolute
kryptonite to somebody who's coming to look for something to fo fun to watch?
I can understand how I get it.
If it was, if it was not Luke and Ryu, you did, I get it, but it's, but my soul yearns
for it and I, I'm not going to pretend it's like, like Ryu versus Luke it like over and
over his bread versus toast like, like fuck, can I have a fucking crumb of any condiment?
No.
Fuck me.
And furthermore, there were, there's definitely a bunch of people that are coming to town
going, wait, what, how are you not playing the street fighter six demo that just dropped
yesterday?
What the fuck is psycho?
You know, and it's like, yeah, no, that's a very good point as well.
So that's all just, just being as real as I can about it, um, you'll get, you'll get
us dead staring through terror drum at some point in the future, but those games ain't
going anywhere.
Uh, yeah.
Um, what's going on?
Okay.
So unfortunately for the length of this show, I played like nine games this week.
Okay.
It was also my birthday.
Okay.
Um, and so me and Paige went to a spa for my birthday.
So we got like, she got like a, um, a prenatal massage for her hips and her back and whatnot.
And I said, fuck it.
I'm going to try something new.
I'm going to get a hot stone massage.
Hey.
I'm going to tell you a piece of advice about a hot stone massage.
You know how they say it's a hot stone massage?
That's a lie.
That is a burning fucking coal fireball massage with lava rocks.
Okay.
Mm hmm.
They are heating these things up to 250 degrees Celsius.
Yeah.
No.
Okay.
That's insane.
That's lava.
I refuse to believe it's Celsius.
It has to be Fahrenheit.
That has, that cannot be Celsius.
That would be lava on your back.
And they put the fucking rock on my back and I'm immediately like trying not to cry.
Like actually like, I'm not relaxed.
I'm trying not to, and there's a towel in between and I'm like, Oh no.
Oh no.
The, the rocks cool down after a little while and then they're actually very pleasant.
But yeah, if you actually go to get a hot stone massage, be fucking aware that they
will cook your shit.
Do they be hot?
Do they actually do any massaging?
Oh yeah, absolutely.
So the basic deal is that they use the rocks to get around having to warm you up.
So they'll place like a bunch of hot rocks on your back and then they will do a regular
massage, but then they throw in the hot ass rock to loosen your bullshit up and then
instead of using their thumb, they use the stone to like dig into your bullshit.
So like my shoulders feel fucking great for the first time in I guess weeks.
I don't know.
You know that thing where you fix part of your back or your shoulder and you're like,
Oh, I didn't realize I was actually in terrible pain for months.
But I feel good now.
Yeah.
So that happened.
I thought massaging was some bougie shit for most of my life.
And then I remember when it was like, actually this is deductible on your insurance every
year, wherever you work, because you kind of do need that to happen for your body to
not scream horribly and fall apart on you the way it used to back when you were in the factories
in the 40s.
Yeah.
You go talk to somebody.
I have the same conversation every time I meet a new massage person, they're like, Hey,
what do you need?
I'm like my shoulders.
They're like, Why?
I'm like, I sit at a desk and they're like, Okay.
And that's the whole cut.
And I don't even need to, there's no more that has to be said.
Like I'm doing this bullshit with my fucking whatever.
So that was wonderful.
Interesting.
Probably not going to get that same one done again.
It is, it is interesting to look at, I don't know about you, but I'm sure you do.
Like there's a number of family members I can think of who like, if they had access to
that type of stuff back in the day, they could be a lot better along in their posture and
like bone health, you know.
Oh, my dad is like a human knot, right?
And like, I told, I told him, I told him like, Oh yeah, you know, sometimes page will rub
my back or you know, we went to get a massage and he's like, Yeah, well, that's nice.
And it's like, Jesus Christ, dad, you're going to have to get Kenshiro to come be his therapist
like you're not a pussy.
If someone rubs your back for five seconds, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that was nice.
That was for the birthday.
Hey, doing that shit.
My dad wants to be made out of rocks.
Like it's there's no way.
All right.
Well, I'm sure I'm not after you.
No, I'm sure like maybe you can like trick him into it.
You know, maybe you could like, you know, you know, then there's the nice restaurants
on Monkland.
Yeah.
A bunch of y'all.
So Paige and I, we're having a we're having a really great month and my parents, we're
going to come hang out with us for dinner like, Hey, let's treat my mom and dad.
We're going to take them out to a nice restaurant, not a five star restaurant, right?
Not like some fucking the chassid, the prey or whatever the fuck bullshit in the old port
or whatever.
Nice, like a fucking tavern or, you know, like, like, like three, four, whatever.
And we sit down and we're like, this is a place that me and Paige would go to like every
couple of weeks, like just nice dinner, right?
And my parents are like visibly uncomfortable.
Like, like really, really uncomfortable.
And my mom is like looking at things like, do they have, do they have like fries here
or, and my dad's like, I don't know.
And like, we had to like, like work through the menu with them until they got like the
most boring thing on the, on the menu, then they barely ate it.
And then they got McDonald's on the way home.
Like, yeah.
Okay.
Right.
Right.
Right.
I remember that now.
Yeah.
Right.
And it's, and it's like, no, you just, they can't, no, it's, they're too old.
Body rejects it.
They lived the way they lived.
And me and Paige are so disappointed because they're like, we wanted to do something like
a really nice thing, but it just actually made them like super uncomfortable.
Yeah.
Right.
And it's like, no, yeah.
So yeah, when I talked to my dad about getting massage, he's like, oh, yeah, oh, yeah.
Are you a winning son?
Yeah.
Like for real.
Like, yeah.
Well, okay.
Should, I should, people, I should have just taken them to Wendy's.
They would have been really comfortable at the Wendy's, alas, alas, um,
Cockstones.
Uh, hot raw.
It burns.
I thought I was like a little worried there because like, okay, nine times out of 10,
a masseuse or a massage therapist is going to be like a young woman in her early twenties.
Right.
So in this particular case, I'm being burned by the rocks and my wife is there also two
feet away because they're doing the side to side.
It's like, I don't want to be like, ouchies.
The rock hurt.
My skin.
Make the rock cold.
I'm like, no, I'm a big man.
Yeah.
This is, I told, I said that last time, like this is the game, right?
I got, I got the super jacked dude that came in and was just like, and I was like, you
know, and they're like, what intensity do you want it?
I'm usually, I'm like, yeah, usually it's pretty soft.
So let's go hard.
And like, he's cracking me in half.
He's like, yeah, it's the pressure.
Good.
And I'm like, yeah.
Yeah.
It's good.
It's good.
It's like, do you want me to lighten up?
No, keep going.
You have to take it.
You have, you can't, you can't look like fucking weak.
You have to just take the damage and know that it'll feel better later.
You know, it's one of those things like, oh, is this going to get better as I get older?
No, it's actually going to get way worse as I get older.
Like the, the pressure now, I'm almost 40.
I can't, I can't put you out of shit now.
It's way too late to do that.
No, I got, I got a kid on the way.
I got to just, I got to lie this up forever.
Tank it.
That kid's going to see me hit my fucking hand with a hammer as hard as I can.
And it is my responsibility to go, ah, it's not that, it's not that big.
Yeah.
Your dad's fine.
And then go like scream in a different room, into a pillow.
What if your perception of your dad being the fucking stone man that he is is entirely
based on needing to keep up appearances?
You know, no, no, he, no, he's also stupid cause like his boss almost fired him when
he blew his finger off in the machine cause dad wouldn't go to the hospital.
Right, right.
There's all those stories.
That's true.
And he's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And my, then my dad's like, yeah, I'll just drive and he's like, your finger is in pieces
on the right.
Right, right, right.
You're not driving.
I'll drive you.
Dude, come on.
I'm going to imagine a K-fabe where literally the same little noises you make where you
go, he used to make in there.
Yeah.
And then at some point, like when a baby came into existence, it's like, okay, gotta seal
that away.
Even though time to man up.
So what's funny actually is that even if that was true, like even if that was what happened,
my sister's eight years older than I am.
So it would have started then.
Fair enough.
So I, you know, it would have been like fully locked in by the time I got there.
My dad's such a fucking idiot, I love him.
Moving on, let's, let's, oh my God, I actually have a huge list of shit here.
I, well, how bad is it?
How often do you have to go to your goddamn video producer list or your, or your YouTube
upload list to like, remember the, the shit that went through the week?
We're doing long RPGs.
So pretty straightforward right now.
I guess so.
All right.
So I played a bunch of early access games this week, primarily, uh, cause I felt I wanted
to play one of them and like, fuck it, I'll run it through the, I'll run it through like
the chance.
Uh, I played against the storm.
It is Civ, but a roguelike.
It is, it is civilization for people that get really, really, really tired of their
Civ game after 40 minutes where the, where the big planning for your Civ game has to
go through.
Okay.
Uh, it's kind of incredible.
It looks like Warcraft three, which is an aesthetic that I really like.
Um, and it's basically like you have a fairly kind timer running on your, your city for
a couple of minutes, like maybe 45 minutes, maybe an hour, and it's like build it up and
make your citizens happy and get the resources.
And then if you beat the timer, you win and then you'll get bonuses and then you'll move
on to the next biome.
Wow.
It's a Blizzard game.
It really, really, really, really does.
Jesus Christ.
It, it, it looks like Warcraft three from a different dimension.
Yeah.
Okay.
Um, it's, it's also kind of a little bit dwarf fortressy because you're having to deal
with like, oh, my humans want religion or my beavers want beer or, you know, whatever
the fuck.
It's great.
It's fucking great.
It is, it is fantastically well made and feels more complete in early access than a
lot of games I've played that are finished and it's called against the storm.
Um, I also played on scroll up this gets, you remember I mentioned, get to the orange
door last week, I said I was going to play it.
Hey, guess what?
Total opposite of against the storm.
I can't tell why get to the orange door has been in early access for five years.
It is so, it's, so it's a Titan fall like movement shooter kind of thing, but like vector wave.
It is so basic.
It is like, it is so like exactly what it has been for this whole time.
There's still like, like very little onboarding into the way it works.
It feels good and it shoots good.
What have the updates recently been then?
One of the updates is they completely rebuilt the entire game from scratch because they
wanted movement to feel better and they wanted shooting and I'm like, the last, the last
update on steam is called, Hey, let's just talk lol like, uh, yeah, okay.
Back to the orange door, uh, can't like you compare it to it's other rogue like contemporaries
like Hades or against the storm or darkest dungeon and it's like publish it and fucking
move on just, just really like genuinely.
It says early access, but it's in the, it's in the polishing phase.
Yeah, supposedly I feel like it doesn't have enough to be in the polishing phase.
Like it's actually fairly basic.
Like I ran like four, five, six runs and was like still just using the default starter
pistol and just doing the same couple of levels over.
It's, it's, I don't know, really didn't do it for me at all.
Did you ever play the forest?
The forest?
No.
So it was that early access game that came out like six years ago, probably earlier than
that.
Sorry, later than that.
That was you in the forest after playing crash, you get attacked by all those weird flesh
mutants.
Do you ring any bells?
No.
Okay.
Well, there was a game called the forest in which you had a plane crash and then you built
a little, you know, huts to defend yourself against flesh mutants.
It like predates rust, for example.
Oh, okay.
Right.
Okay.
And it was pretty good, but even after it got to 1.0, it was fairly jank.
It was fairly like this is a starter project made into early access and they really did
their best, but parts of it are, are funky.
Oh, this was right in the middle of like the survival era.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It was kind of like the forest in particular looked visually very, very beautiful.
So it helped.
Right.
Sons of the Forest is one of those weird sequels you see in the PC space where they're like,
we're just going to do that game again, but better.
It's the same game.
It is a helicopter crash into a forest and you build a little, little stick hut to defend
yourself against flesh mutants.
Evil Dead 2.
Um, yeah.
The difference is, is that every single part of it feels, works, plays, looks, performs
way, way, way better, just way better.
And the weirdest thing that I couldn't understand, I'm like, I'm playing it and it's in early
access.
Like, why is this game so much more polished and good to play than the older game was when
it was like version 1.2 or 1.3, right?
Like, what is, what is the point?
Like, how did that happen?
And I found out that the game came in early access in February, but that was supposed
to be the full release, but they were not happy with the state of the game in its gold
state.
So instead put it out and saying, no, it's early access, it was slightly reduced price
and we'll just keep working on it.
So like the game, when it came out in early access was already kind of feature complete.
Man, early access sure can be used, it's getting, it's weird, yeah.
Like it's kind of like the, you know, the, this game is still working, not still work
in progress, but the, um, a pre-alpha gameplay kind of little things you'd see on, on foot
engine.
You'd be like, shut the fuck up.
Why are you lying?
Like, yeah.
And now we're like, the game is done.
And then them going, no, actually, no, I'm, I'm telling you, it is no longer done weird,
but you can play it now.
Well, the wet wood looks really good.
That's some wet ass looking wood textures.
It's good.
It looks really good, plays really well.
It's a much more interesting version, just the way that works.
You have one of those like interfaces where they like, you have a backpack that you spread
out along the ground and literally every single thing that you pick up goes somewhere in it.
So the crafting is literally grab this and then grab this and put them together.
It's cool.
But the, the thing that actually really like took my attention and was like, oh fucking
thank God you did this is that you have an AI helper that, that crashes with you who,
uh, gets injured in the preying crash.
He's concussed and goes deaf like his eardrums explode named Kelvin.
And Kelvin, you can tell Kelvin to do anything.
Like if you're like me and you are not a fucking creative person with these types of survival
games, you can go into your pre-made fabricated fucking thing, say I would like a log cabin.
And then you, you know, you, the wireframe shows up and then you place the log cabin
down in the spot.
And then you go to Kelvin and you say, Hey Kelvin, build this.
And you just go ahead and start chopping trees and he will grab those trees that fall down
and he will fucking just build it for you.
Nice.
Okay.
If you're like, Hey Kelvin, can you go get a bunch of sticks and rocks and place them
in the stick and rock holder I have made so that I can make stuff?
Great.
Thanks man.
Do you want to go get fish?
Yeah.
So I don't fucking starve.
I don't want to do all the survival.
I just want to explore and do Kelvin, I'll handle it.
That's pretty spirit.
Do it.
Some people are down for every aspect of it.
Some people want to forge, but not build.
Some people want to build, but not forage.
That's pretty good.
It works.
And he's also there in multiplayer.
So it like, it really works because in these types of like, you know, Valheim or whatever,
one usually gets tasked with like some kind of busy work, no, Kelvin can do the busy work.
Kelvin can go gather rocks all day.
I don't want to fucking go gather rocks all day.
Make Kelvin do it.
And then we'll use the rocks to build whatever, like he will do the bitch jobs.
As a result.
Yeah.
No, that game's way more fun.
Nice.
Like it's, it's a substantial improvement.
Good game, like it.
Is it early access?
I don't know.
So I assume though that like, like that's, you're, you don't have any features like that
in a game like satisfactory because the whole point of satisfactory is you're going to build
it yourself.
All of that shit.
You're going to assembly line yourself to the point.
Yeah.
Okay.
So here I guess, cause there's the different aspects, including the zombie stuff.
Kelvin will make like pre-made structures that you put down.
But if you want to use the free building options, then that's going to be on you.
All right.
So he can make a tree house.
He can make a log cabin.
He can make, you know, a stick holder.
He can make a fireplace.
But if I want to make some kind of Minecraft bullshit out of logs, no, that that's going
to be on me, but he can gather the logs and place them nearby for me, you know, that kind
of thing.
Okay.
That works really well.
Really like it.
Also, so, uh, I don't know what company sent me this.
Someone sent me a free code for Dead Island two.
Someone did.
Yeah.
Um, so, uh, the following saved you $100 Canadian.
It sure did.
The following, the following opinions are based on someone who got, uh, uh, uh, uh, Dead Island
two for free.
Dead Island two is a stupid, stupid fucking game.
And I don't know if that's good or not.
The game's tone is wildly stupid.
Like, um, you start the game and its people is trying to escape LA in a cutscene because
of a zombie outbreak.
It doesn't even say there's a zombie outbreak in LA.
It skips that part and goes right to the part where people are trying to escape.
And the dialogue is relatively good, but there are a couple of like zingers that actually
land so that works well.
So overall it's like stupid in a pleasant way, but it's aggressively fucking stupid.
Is it?
It is the flavor of Dead Island supposed to be like a little stupid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like that.
Zombie Landish.
It is also, if you play Dead Island one, it is Dead Island one, but in LA, or sorry,
LA as they call it in the game's, uh, tutorials.
Okay.
Uh, you are walking around grabbing sticks, bats, rakes, kitchen knives, et cetera, slapping
batteries onto them or lighting them on fire and using pretty good melee combat to dissect
a bunch of zombies while you wander around a kind of open area that you could play with
multiplayer.
Of note, it has the most violent gore I've ever seen in anything in my entire life.
When you hit a zombie, uh, on any part of their body, they have the layer system, right?
Like you would see in Dead Space, but it's not a skin layer.
It's once you hit them in the head, you can see the brain inside and the brain has a physics
system, so it jiggles when they move.
Lot of gore talk recently in these games.
Yes.
A lot.
Um, the, when you, when you stomp on a zombie's chest with a bunch of cutting things, you
can see into their rib cage and each individual lung, heart, esophagus, kidney, et cetera,
will jiggle individually per step.
So like it is, it is like when you hit them in the face hard enough, the jaw comes off
on one side and then the jaw moves with physics.
Wow.
Okay.
It is wildly violent, like, like, like punching your fist through a zombie's full head actually
makes me go, Oh, like an old lady level of violence, combined with a really stupid tone.
So the Dead Island one teaser was like the big sell on that game.
And it was very emotional.
Right.
And now in two, I remember the trailer was look at this cool guy dancing his way through
the apocalypse, which is a lot closer to what that game is actually like.
And then he's just kind of like swaggering while killing and then lands back in his apartment.
So the game is trash, it's it's total schlock, but it's very, very enjoyable schlock.
Like actual combat is really satisfying.
And the actual story that I engaged with was like actually pretty good and had some good
zingers.
In particular, there's a weird flex in the game from the cutscene directors.
There's a cutscene fairly early on when you arrive at some rich lady's house and they
don't want you in because you're bit, but they don't know you're immune, blah, blah,
blah, in which somebody threatens you with a gun, right?
And goes, don't you come in here, blah, blah, blah.
Somebody walks over to them, takes the gun out of their hand and threatens you with the
gun until your character grabs the gun and puts it in their hand and then hands it to
a third character who then and it is the gun doesn't clip through anyone's hands.
It doesn't snap to anybody.
It doesn't do anything weird.
And it feels like somebody in the nine years that got to develop on this said, I'm going
to make the fanciest like item passing cutscene ever because it's it's super, super, super
impressive.
Yes.
I mean, and it feels out of place.
Like, yeah, that bread flex in like a dragon feels a lot like the Yakuza bread or, you
know, in Last of Us Two, somebody pulls a shirt off over their head.
And it's these little things that everybody would be like, yeah, whatever.
It's like, no, no, no, you don't get it.
That's hard.
It's really hard, actually.
See, because you can turn on make no 3D object clip with any other object, make every surface
impenetrable and make the interactions try to simulate reality.
And then your game will slow down to a non existent two frame per less than two frame
per second.
Fucking I just can't because there's too much going on in a lot of those cases and fabric
is a whole other thing and yadda, yadda, yadda.
So doing that manually frame by frame, key frame by key frame, bit by bit is is the difficult,
but best way to do it.
Okay.
Interesting.
It's so is the game good?
I don't know.
Yeah.
It might be bad.
It seems like it's bad, but I really liked it.
This is the least helpful review of anything you've ever played, ever, just just so you
know.
I don't know.
I can't get what you're trying to say, but Dead Island two is is the video game equivalent
of when you're sitting around and you say, I would like to eat a shitty pizza.
Does that, does that like connect with you?
Not a street slice of good street slice quality.
No, I want like sometimes you're like, I would like a shitty pizza.
Hmm, that's the, that's the only way I can explain it to you because the times I want
shit pizza, what I really want is a street slice that's still good as street food.
You know, I, but grease it up.
Yeah.
That's, that's all I, that's all I know how to say it.
Thanks for the free code.
Sorry that my end result is describing your game as, as shitty pizza.
Okay.
Sometimes you want, I, I, it's weird.
Is it like when you want bell pro specifically?
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
When you, when you're craving La Belle Provence, which is just low quality steamy's low quality
hamburgers, low quality fries, but they grease up in a way that is, grease it up.
You grease it up enough that you're like, no, this is not, this is what I want.
It's, it's, it's satisfied.
It's ticking a box.
Yeah.
It is, it is all regret, but it's, it's ticking a box.
Yeah.
Okay.
So many of the chat asks what's a steamy.
He means a steamed hot dog.
Like, like, you know, you could have like, you could have like a really excellent big
fucking kosher hot dog, right?
But sometimes you're like, I want a fucking 99 cent steamed hot dog on a fucking cold
bun.
Like that's what I want.
It's shit floating in the fucking water and then tossed on to the same grill that they
cooked breakfast on.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
Mm hmm.
Okay.
Steamed hot dog is a hot dog you use with steam.
Come on.
Um, moving on further, uh, backpack hero, you know what backpack hero is?
A Montreal hot dog known as a steamy.
I didn't know.
Wait, is that?
Wait, whoa, whoa, really?
I didn't know that a steamy was a Montreal specific thing.
That's crazy.
That's crazy.
I got that.
No way.
My world just shattered.
Holy, I'm like, wait, no one has heard of a steamy.
That's weird.
That's why I can't fucking find any out here.
No one knew what that.
I'm like, why are you guys so confused by this when you put steamy into Google?
Yeah.
You steam the hot dog.
Montreal hot dog.
It's just, it's technically cooked, but it's still just kind of a plain hot dog.
Oh my God.
They don't.
Ugh.
Yeah.
No, it's a great shitty hot dog.
It's shit.
It's trash.
It scratches an itch.
Oh yeah.
No.
Steam a.
Yeah.
That's a steamy.
Okay.
All right.
That's a specific thing.
tastecooking.com says you haven't had a hot dog until you've had a steamer.
And it's called nice, specifically the Montreal steamy.
Okay.
Wow.
Fuck you, Cleveland.
Okay.
Yeah.
Sure.
All right.
Fine.
That's weird.
Um, all right.
So backpack hero.
Yeah.
Hey, guess what?
It's attached AKS HD with a cute little mouse.
Sure is.
That's what it is.
It's exactly what it is.
I hate it.
I hate it so much.
I hate it.
It's a good game.
I hate it.
Is it because you can't unpause it and then go back to playing RE?
No, it's because like the, it's, it's a deck builder.
Like they, they're just using the inventory concession to hide the fact that it's actually
a deck builder.
You're building your deck of items in your, in your backpack of things to use.
And instead of cards, it's items that have to fit in the grid.
Um, so like, I'm like, I'm playing it.
I'm like, wow, this is a great game.
I will delete it.
I will never play it ever again.
Everyone should try it.
It's really cool.
It's quite cheap.
As a backpack hero, I am ease.
I can easily see that I am the problem.
What, what is, what is the problem that is you?
I don't like building up a series of options that I have to use like cards.
I don't like it.
I don't want to do it.
Okay.
Like I, I, I don't want to.
So the rotating and the fitting of the object into this backpack is fine.
Yeah.
Oh, it's cute.
And in fact, when you level up, you get to add squares to the backpack to make it like
one square bigger in this direction.
And this, and the little dungeon adventure happening at the bottom of the screen is fine.
But as you acquire inventory, like the part where I'm like, oh, should I throw this thing
away and so I can get this cleaver and then build on that and build a synergy.
And I'm like, oh, now I'm making builds again.
I don't want to.
Like when I played backpack hero, I spoke with folks on Twitter a little bit and was
just going back and forth.
I'm like, I don't want builds.
I'm done with builds.
Interesting.
Okay.
Build like, like putting RPG things in games that have no, that aren't RPGs done with
it.
I'm over it.
Stop it.
If I, if I'm playing a paladin in a video game, give me a level up at level five, six,
seven, eight that gives me aura charge, whatever the fuck.
Like FF six was the correct decision.
Everybody gets their unique job and that's how the character works.
Um, now I don't know a lot, but is what you're describing builds.
Is that not the whole point of the games like pillars of eternity and Pathfinder that like
you're super into?
So that's, that's, that's the thing, right?
So I've been going back and forth on this and I brought up Witcher three and pillars
of attorney.
It works that cause the, a lot of these games, like pillars is like based off of like a D&D
template, right?
And when I think of Baldur's Gate and pillars, um, yeah, I don't care about customizing my
character to do the cool thing.
I wouldn't give a shit if the character was the character and learned prescribed level
ups.
I want to explore, talk to people, do combat, solve puzzles.
So the customization was never your favorite parts of any of those games.
Get out.
I don't care.
That's wild.
So done.
And like some people referenced like Monster Hunter, right?
Like what about Monster Hunter?
You like Monster Hunter, right?
I actually liked Monster Hunter way better before I found out that the most optimal way
to build your character was to mix and match armor sets to get the best skills.
I loved Monster Hunter way, way more back when I was dumber and when I played three
and four and just went, I think that monster is cool.
I will wear their armor and that will give me a higher defense value and it will give
me skills associated with that monster.
And that's a cool little character I'll play.
That's still what I think Monster Hunter is.
No, Monster Hunter is now, Hey, did you know if you mixed the Diabolos head with the Rathalos
chest and the Gaharaja pants, you can actually get critical exploit plus seven and that actually
leads to a blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
No, I don't care.
I don't care.
I don't build.
I'm done.
I'm so done with builds and anything.
Okay.
So for me, that's where I would go.
Yeah, I'm just going to keep on wearing this Karen outfit because I like it though.
Right.
Totally.
The problem with the stuff like Pathfinder or like Pillars is like it's giving you like
infinity choices.
And on top of that, you know, it's actually really bothersome to me.
I was playing Wrath of the Righteous, right?
That's the Pathfinder sequel to the Kingmaker.
And I'm like, why don't I just try?
They have auto builds.
They have like, if you pay, you say build my character for me, right?
And you learn pretty quickly that like every auto build in every RPG ever is fucking bad.
They don't make an average character for you.
They make a really bad suboptimal.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't know.
I don't mean suboptimal.
I mean bad, like not good.
Like people who know how the system works go, why the fuck are they giving you these bad
abilities automatically?
Hmm.
Okay.
Because preset builds, as long as you understand that you're coming with limitations feels
like a decent compromise for sure too much customization, which some people love.
I don't mind having the ability to go in granular when I want to, but zooming out as well.
Yeah.
Okay.
But like, are you going to run into walls where your character that's been handed to
you will not overcome this challenge because.
Pathfinder Kingmaker and Pathfinder Wrath of the Righteous on normal are pretty hard.
Like they're fairly difficult.
So I looked up a completely fucking busted sword saints build for Pathfinder Kingmaker
and made that and sailed through the game because it was busted.
And I'm like, I really, really wish that instead of doing that and checking a little
guide to make sure I was optimizing correctly that I could have picked sword saint.
And then at level three, I would have gotten an ability and four, I would have gotten ability
and that I would like to play designed character classes rather than choose your own adventure.
Now you've made a mistake.
Good job character classes.
What's funny about Monster Hunter though, as you're bringing this up, this interesting
is like, even if you ignored that little like piece by piece of your armor buffs and stuff,
there's still what I find initially, initially overwhelming and still do is, but the amount
of inventory and items and consumables you're you're cooking and eating and doing before
each fight is almost like you're putting those little micro buffs on you anyway, except
instead of being innate to your equipment, it's just a consumable that you then have
to go farm later.
Congratulations, you have now found my second most hated about this thing.
One of the things I really liked about Pillars of Attorney is the Sawyer discovered, hey,
you know what everyone hates having to do the same buff before every single combat encounter.
If you're doing the same buff every single time you fight, then you might as well just
remove it.
Listen, I know that MMOs are really fun with friends in Yadda Yadda.
In my brain, when I think about walking by my roommate's room and he's playing WoW and
doing the raids, all I see in my head are a bunch of characters in WoW and War Song
Gulch doing this thing and then that and then.
This is perfect.
Okay.
And I'm like, is this game just standing outside of caves and buffing a party?
Okay.
Is that the whole thing?
So WoW, particularly WoW Classic, when WoW Classic came back and some friends of mine
that were playing WoW Classic, it was discovered that because WoW Classic is really old now,
the game's like 9, 10, 15 years old, whatever, right?
Everybody knows where you can get all the buffs, right?
So raid stuff would start to happen and what became the problem was, hey guys, we're gonna
raid Enixia, right?
Okay.
We're all gonna go as a group and we're gonna go here, here, here, here, here, here, here,
here, here, here, here.
We're gonna kill this, kill that, get that, get that, get that, so we'll have 95 fucking
buffs on ourselves so that when we go in, we're optimal, oh, someone wiped it.
Time to do that again, right?
FF14 at the very, like for all of its fucking faults, right?
There used to be, there used to be Protect in the game and there used to be Stoneskin
in the game.
Why?
Because those are classic abilities for White Mages in Final Fantasy.
You put Protect, everybody takes a little less damage.
You put Stoneskin, okay, people can absorb a certain amount of damage before they get
hurt, right?
These are classic FF abilities, they're part of the White Mage thing, that's why they
put them in.
You put them in before a fight and I don't remember when it was, I wanna say it was around
Stormblood but it's not important.
They did a letter from the producer and they're like, we're just gonna remove Protect and
Stoneskin from the game because you use them before every single encounter.
Every single encounter.
Every single fight in the entire game.
It might as well not exist, that we're using a button so that there's no reason for it
to exist.
It's gone, get out of here.
Did you forget to use it?
Now it's a bit harder, yeah.
Yeah, and there were a lot of class abilities that were like, make sure you come into the
fight with a full gauge, stuff like that.
And so those things have either made it so that you can't enter into combat with a full
gauge anymore or you start every combat with a full gauge no matter what because they're
like, you wanna just be able to just, like, used to be before the fight, you would have
to put a timer out and the timer had to be a minimum of like 23 seconds long because
the Ninja had to do their thing and they had to give the buff and they dispelled the
buff and the white mage had to do this and the scholar had to do this buh buh buh buh
buh buh buh buh buh buh buh buh and the minimum amount of time I wanna say is 23 seconds.
Which man, every time you fucking failed, you have to say, is everybody ready?
Okay, I'm gonna start a 23 second countdown before we can attack the boss because you
have to do this and do this, do this, do this, and then you have to cancel that and
then you have to do trick and then buh buh buh, right?
All that shit got fucking removed.
So now my friends and I pull in like 10 or 15 seconds, just get rid of it.
There's no point in buffs you have to do every time.
There's no point.
Yeah, so I'm thinking back to just every time I saw that I'm like, okay, there is a circumstance
where I think pre-fight buffing is cool and it's a very specific circumstance.
It's when you are on, when you've been killed by a Dark Souls boss 20 times, but you've
learned it and you have it right there and you go, all right, fuck this.
And you walk up to the door and you take your shield off and you go, this is the one.
And you drink, drink, drink, and you walk through the door to do it that one time.
That's when I'm like, yeah, that feels like a dramatic moment that you built towards because
you've had everything up to that point.
That's where I think it feels cool.
So it's funny because like Josh Sawyer was like the lead designer on Pillars of Attorney
and came to the thing of like no pre-fight buffs.
And he came to that conclusion after playing through, I think Baldur's Gate 2 again.
And I actually had played through Baldur's Gate 2 relatively recently, so I was like
right there in the same mindset.
When you're in the final dungeon in Baldur's Gate 2, here's what you're going to do.
You're going to get your cleric out.
What are they going to do?
They're going to cast Protection of Evil 10 feet.
Then they're going to cast Bless, then they're going to cast Prayer, then the mage is going
to cast Haste.
Then the mage is going to set up their auto spells, which are going to fire off like Wilting,
Aura, and all these things at a certain amount, but you have to custom do those, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
You're going to say Protection from Fire or Energy or Death or Paralysis or whatever
the fuck.
You can turn Spirit Armor on.
You're going to do all these fucking things.
You're going to put Thorns for Druids, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
This takes multiple minutes.
Then you're going to have the fight, and you're probably going to win, and you're barely going
to survive.
Then you're going to full rest, and then you're going to find the next enemy pack, and then
you're going to have the cleric cast Protection from Evil 10 feet, Bless, Prayer, and so on,
and so forth.
I beat the Super Dungeon in Baldur's Gate 2, and it is like half the time of that was
full resting, and then buffing my fucking party like it's a pre-flight checklist, right?
So when I get 10 years from then, and I'm playing Monster Hunter World, and my friend
is like, hey, make sure to use your armor skin and demon drug.
Make the demon drug.
Every time you go back to camp, and I'm like, fucking God, I hate you, I'm so sick of this.
As much as I'm anti-consumable, when you have that limited special use case, this is
the one time I believe in it, that's cool.
When it becomes the ritual for every single fucking encounter, I just, I don't, that's
so...
Now someone in the chat says, and they're completely right, you don't have to do that
in Monster Hunter, and they're completely right, except for the fact that there are
times that I squeaked by by the skin of my teeth at near death with no resources left
and survived something that I probably wouldn't have otherwise because I used that stupid
buff, which means I would have failed if I hadn't, and then as soon as that happens,
it's like, oh well, I should be doing that.
Anything that is every time should just be automated.
That's one of the things that FF12 actually did really smart, because it had some of that
stuff, but you just tell the NPCs to just do it, and they'll just do it at the start
of a fight.
Didn't they make the international version where they just did the job system instead?
Kind of, you were still picking, it had the jobs were more clearly delineated on the board.
Okay, so builds and then consumables that you stack up...
You know what, fuck it, go, get out, go, I'm done, I'm so done, get out of here, go away.
You want a character select screen, and I want one too, I don't disagree.
I want a character select screen.
I want a defined, built character.
I don't want to customize it.
I want to customize it by picking my character.
That's the part that I want to customize.
I want to customize it by picking Paladin, and then it plays like a Paladin.
To those of the people who are like, but that's what a tabletop RPG is like, or whatever,
it's like, no, actually, when I played Baldur's Gate 1 and 2 and Pillars and all those games,
I wanted to explore, talk to NPCs, do dungeons.
Playing in the game except for the character screen, it's constantly infuriating.
When you're building a tabletop character, some people fill out the sheet and just go,
all right, let's go.
I remember I had friends who wanted the sheet mostly filled out for them.
It was like, yeah, just let me get to the basics of my spell picking or my abilities,
but the numbers, you can just roll that in advance, yadda yadda.
But then some people are like, okay, my beard is gray, but my eyebrows are black, and they
spend the time pointing out the details, and it's totally, I mean, it's an imagination
game, so you can sit there and do that as much as you want.
The ability to zoom in and zoom out is not taking anything away.
When you're forced to do that, however, yeah, I can see you being, I can see how that makes
it infinitely less fun if you're just not enjoying that granularity.
So folks in the chat are saying like, Pat sounds like he just wants to play a JRPG.
I'm like, yeah, no, I really like JRPGs, and it's like, I still think for any game based
on a tabletop or any of this style, yeah, you know what, you absolutely should always
have this level of customization because people like that.
Just make the default option fine, not even good, but fine instead of actively bad.
Like even in Mass Effect, the auto level up is terrible.
It's awful.
I also feel like I'm thinking of like mecha games where you can change out limbs, parts,
and individual aspects, and it's like, as much as I love me, my fucking robots, I feel
I'm going to often, for the most part, pick something that doesn't go, I'm going to keep
it at a level where I'm like, I'm going to spend some time on my paints, on my decals
and things like that, but I'm going to stick to broad categories and I'm not necessarily
going to go into the finer, finer details just because I have those available to me.
There's a level that I feel comfortable stopping at with each aspect, and plus two here, minus
two there in Phantom Brigade, for example, you can go really in depth on each of those
machines, but I'm like, I'm kind of fine to just change the shotgun to a pistol and give
me some boost legs here and make them look like red.
Interesting.
Okay.
Interesting.
Okay.
So yeah, that's why I don't like backpack here.
Fair enough.
I just, I'm amazed because I'm just like, all these games that you historically have
gone through and have been pushing have been all about these aspects and I just always
assume naturally that that's the part that was selling you.
Hey, hold on, let me send you a screenshot.
Can you read out the details on this screenshot that I'm sending you right now?
This is from my Steam library.
Pathfinder, Wrath of the Righteous.
Date time, 100 hours.
And one achievement out of 121.
Yeah, that's the problem.
Okay, I'm sick of that.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Got it.
Got it.
Okay.
So, somebody asked in the chat, how do I like to chained echoes?
Okay, so I've been playing a different style of game called Chained Echoes, which is a
Kickstarter game that wants to be Chrono Trigger.
Oh, another one of these.
It's fucking great.
There's a couple of those.
All right.
Yeah.
It's fucking great.
It's gorgeous.
The music is fantastic.
The story is interesting.
It controls well.
All of its systems are very interesting, but not too crazy or not too fucking deep.
It's nice and comfy and streamlined and chill, and it's great.
And I have characters that I play as in it that have abilities that they have a short
list of.
And you get to pick those abilities, but you can get damn near all of them if you want.
You can choose from, like, you get, like, there's like a little batch of, like, these
early abilities you'll get between levels one and ten.
And four are active, four are passive, and four are stats.
Okay.
So I'll just get all the active ones.
Great.
Fine.
Cool.
Yeah, no, that game looks great.
Yeah.
Chained Echoes is fantastic.
Yeah.
Shoutouts to...
We're going to emulate Chrono Trigger like aesthetics, but way nicely, way better animation.
Way better than it could have been.
Way crisper in the sprite detail.
Like, it's starting out and then building on top of that.
Yeah.
This is gorgeous.
Okay.
I want to point out...
A lot of good chat comments during me talk about this.
Somebody asks, what about Final Fantasy Tactics?
That's the best question.
Final Fantasy Tactics was the last time I enjoyed customizing my character.
That was the last time I enjoyed customizing my character and trying to figure out all
the cool things.
And the reason for that being is because Final Fantasy Tactics is, hey, I would like
a dragoon that can have the samurai ability where you grasp blades.
And that's it.
That's what I want the character to be.
So it's a dragoon and I picked an ability that I liked from a different class.
Done.
Over.
I'm done now.
What broke you right after that?
Nothing ever was good ever again.
You didn't play a game that just hit a screen and were paralyzed for choice and went, fuck
this.
Oh, no, that was like every game after that.
Including Final Fantasy Tactics.
You remember earlier today, I downloaded a 400 page guide for FF7?
One of that was like, what is the best way to use materia because I'm not super sure
how to use materia.
And then I learned, oh, okay, that's fine.
And then didn't need the guide anymore.
Same thing with Final Fantasy Tactics.
I read a tips and tricks guide about how the jobs worked and went, oh, okay, I would like
a dragoon that can have the monk abilities and then has blade crafts.
Okay, good.
Simple.
Easy.
Understandable.
Then I played Torment and Baldur's Gate and all that shit and I'm like, fuck, do I
hate making a character in Dungeons and Dragons 2.0?
Fuck do I hate that?
I'm going to say Baldur's Gate was what opened my fucking eyes and said, wow, I hate this.
I have a million bad decisions to make and if I don't do it correctly, I will lose.
What are you doing in 14?
There's nothing to do in 14.
Your character is your character is your character.
But I mean, at first there was a lot of decisions to make.
No.
There were not.
There were really not.
How so?
14 does not have character customization.
So you pick your...
It is very linear.
So you pick your job and then you just maximize...
Your job plays how it plays and it has the abilities that it does.
Once you maximize, once you cap off at whatever job you switched to another job and then that's
set the way it is.
Maybe.
Let's say I play Dark Knight.
That's the class I play nearly exclusively.
Dark Knight, you play it to the best of your ability and then some nerd on the balance
discord comes up with the rotation, which is the best way to do damage on a two minute
rotation and then you learn that and that is the way the character plays for two years.
So there's no version of a Dark Knight that someone's using where they bought a couple
of different skills from you.
Every skill you get on level up, every skill is used a certain way.
It is prescriptive.
Okay.
And that's optimal and that's what we do.
Okay.
All right.
Like there was a thing way back where Black Mage in that game, what they do is they use
an ice spell, then they use a fire spell and there's like a charge that passes between
them, right?
And there's a correct Black Mage rotation.
Every expansion, somebody figures it out and it's like, this is the sequence of buttons
that you hit in the right order on a two minute rotation and it's called a rotation because
you just do it over and over and over.
Of course.
It's the right way.
But some people were like, no, I'm an ice mage.
I'm only going to use ice spells and it's like, congrats, you are now playing at two
percent of your character's strength and you are terrible and the character doesn't work
like that and you're actually complete dead weight.
Like there's no individuality in the way you play an FF 14 character.
You can play it.
There's no player expression.
None.
Zero.
Absolutely none.
Oh, shit.
In 14, you're playing the character right or you're playing the character wrong.
And that makes me really comfortable.
I see.
See, this is hilarious because in FF six just now, I took Edgar and I made him an imp
and I gave him a fucking the imp gear, paladin, a Dragoon boot shit and made him do the maximum.
There was a build in the sense that I gave him the stuff to make a certain thing happen.
Yeah.
That was synergistic, you know.
It only involved a synergy of like two pieces of equipment, really, but there was a thought
behind that.
And then I also had that going hand in hand with Umarro, who would, no, not Umarro, with
a little kid, Gao, who would then levitate everybody and then Earth Magic would cast
and destroy everything while we were levitating above it, you know.
And I was like, oh, OK, I have a party in a system that kind of works here and it feels
like a synergistic thing was created, but that wasn't the only way to play them, certainly.
I want to make my player expression at the character select screen.
It's like it's the number, I think it's the number one reason I like fighting games
because a fighting game character is defined and it is a rock solid pile of tools.
I like character action.
I don't have to fucking sit there and decide what stats Dante needs to level up.
I just have all of his moves and if I want to use those moves, I'll use them at the
same time, though, right?
When Snake Eyes plays Zangief, he is installing the threat of the SPD while never actually
going for it.
And that's what he's known for, right?
Koji Kog is going to roll up and start going wild with fucking Teahawk in a way that nobody
else has ever seen because that's not how you fucking perfect are supposed to.
You're completely right, Woolly, and I totally get that.
And that's why when I play Street Fighter, I can fully understand and internalize and
use different styles of play for the same character, but when I look at Mortal Kombat
X with the fucking style bullshit or fucking Injustice 2 that has the goddamn-
Three styles, three groups.
The fucking armor that you put on the fucking character, I start to throw up.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, I don't like the armor shit either.
That's a really annoying example that I wish they didn't do.
Picking variable grooves with a set character is something I don't mind as much.
Obviously, CVS 2 with the fucking CAP SNK to pick from, open that game up massively.
I think, though, we all can agree that, like, Gems was where 100% of players checked out.
I live in a world of Gems.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Everyone checked out at Gems.
All the genres that I like tell me to use Gems, and I'm like, I don't care.
For anyone who-
I play RPGs for their fucking stories and exploring shit and the combat.
I don't care about the Gems.
Right, right, right.
Okay.
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
Or yeah, our gogi.
Exactly.
The gogi system.
Pick your individual little- if you land three kicks, now you activate 10% extra damage
on all your kick buttons for a couple seconds.
Yeah, I'm gonna throw myself out the fucking window trying to learn this.
I don't want to.
Get away from me.
Okay.
Okay.
Anyway, so that's why-
That's backpack hero.
Back hero's pretty good, but it's not for me.
It's not for me.
Was this clip- was this called backpack hero?
I think this got- I think this went elsewhere.
I think-
Yeah, I might have.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All right.
Cool.
I also played something called Dread Delusion, which is- so I talked about Lunasid last week,
and Lunasid is like a King's Field, like fake-ass PS1 game.
Dread Delusion is also a fake-ass PS1 game, but instead of King's Field, it wants to be
Morrowind.
It is a fucking weird-ass-looking PS1-style open-world RPG in the style of Morrowind with
lots of weird mushrooms and wobbly graphics and bad textures.
That is-
Specifically Morrowind.
Yeah.
That is super interesting and like just is so charming and so weird and cool, and I
think it's radical.
Oh.
I- this is cool, but it also- it's unlocking a memory.
It is- it is like horrible looking, but it's also really charming.
I hate old- like okay, retro 3D that is like PS1 and above era, that's like, you know,
Bloodborne PSX and that type of shit, looks fucking awesome, but I- I hate static textures
that can't stay static.
Like-
So-
That constant jitter thing bugs me.
It's really funny because like part of that retro thing is like Dread Delusion has an option.
Wobbly graphics, wobbly textures.
You can turn those on or off if you so desire.
Okay, okay.
I- it is- one of the weirdest things is the PS1 not being able to fucking anchor a texture
in 3D space becoming like a hallmark of that era of video games.
Like it is- it is very, very normal to look at Dread Delusion and be like, I hate this
texture thing, I hate it so much, get it out of here, go into the options and turn it off.
Yeah.
Like it's right- it's right there.
I have no problem standing inside of a box with a unlit wooden texture on all sides,
like swinging and killing enemies or whatever, but the wood that won't stop moving and it-
and every time you turn the camera it freaks the fuck out.
And it stretches.
Yeah.
I want that off.
I want it off.
Yeah, okay.
This is really cool, it's fascinating, super interesting location, it plays old school
but not too old school, like your buttons do what you would expect them to do instead
of- like when you swing your sword they don't roll a dice to tell you if you hit, you just-
you just hit.
Not like that old shit.
It's fascinating, it's- it's super cool.
All right.
That's pretty much all I played this week and also the rocks.
That's where a mistake, characters are cool, that's what I have to say.
Does it have builds though?
Yeah, actually Dread Delusion does have builds, but leveling in that game seems really easy,
so you can actually get tons of stats very easily.
One last question, because I get- I just-
Builds were a mistake.
You're- what do you love about Fallout?
Fallout?
Yeah.
Exploring the area and talking to people.
Okay.
Not the unique version of a- of the Fallout character that you can build out.
No.
Okay.
Hm.
Because everything people used to talk about in that game was like how you could build
such crazy fucking characters that like broke the world and made-
Oh, totally.
Yeah, I don't care.
I want to talk to some guy who is too old to go to war about like a bunch of stupid stories
he had down at the lake.
Okay.
Hm.
Yeah.
If only- if only everything- no.
In a world like Disco Elysium where the setting is the- is- is like the selling point.
Like-
Yeah, Disco is a really great example because people are like but it doesn't have any combat
and I'm like who gives a shit that it doesn't have any combat?
The- the setting is the selling point but like to me inside of Harry is also the setting.
Yeah.
And you can- and you can- you can get as- you can zoom into that too in a way that it
feels like it's all the same thing, you know, so.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Cool.
Interesting.
Uh, all right.
I'm going to take another bathroom break.
Yeah, same here.
I- I got a piss.
Bare a bit.
Okay.
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Thanks Echoes of History! Yeah, don't be a Templar. That's lame. No, they're cool.
What's going on this week? There's a couple of them to go in.
Many of which happened today. Unfortunately, none about some of my
favorite video game companies. It would have been great to find some news about some of
my favorite companies, but we can start with that knock, knock, knock on your door.
What's that? Who's that? Is that the fucking Pinkerton? Why would the Pinkertons be at
my house? It's a goddamn suit and tie mob showing up at your address because we hear
that there's some contraband in this house which may or may not have come from an illegal
acquisition of Magic the Gathering cards. So, damn, yeah, you thought it was Knuckles,
but it wasn't. No, it was the Pinkertons.
A wild, wild, wild story. So this is one of those ones that I saw this morning. Yeah,
a YouTuber that covers Magic the Gathering content was able to accidentally acquire an
unreleased pack of Magic the Gathering cards. I really want to point out it's really important
how he accidentally acquired these. They sent him the wrong items in the mail.
So what it sounds like is by the existing product was March of the Machine, and the
new thing that's not out yet is March of the Machine Aftermath, and it seems as if they
were sent the wrong thing. Aftermath was. Yeah, the guy, the guy he buys his cards
from, sent him the wrong thing. So as a result of getting that early and before street date.
So he put up a video, made some content with it, and the results of that were then at his
doorstep, the Pinkertons, the actual group from the 18 whatever's that were hired for
union busting purposes throughout the years, and would knock heads and.
If you're not totally familiar, just imagine Scary Goons sent to do Scary Goons shit at
your house.
In the, in the gray, that operate in the gray, you know? Dudes, dudes with black jacks and
an old timey New York accents. Which for some reason, I still imagine they sound like.
Yeah, it doesn't make any sense. I still, I still, I mean, like, it's 2023 and they're
like, yeah. Regardless, they sent some men to his house to scare the shit out of him
because he accidentally received some cards before street date.
And terrified his wife in what he was describing as an unsolicited, unwelcome, just Saturday
morning visit to his private property to ask him some questions and to recover the stolen
product for Wizards of the Coast.
Yeah, they threatened him with jail time as well.
And Wizards of the Coast did confirm that they hired private detectives as part of their
ongoing investigation. So the YouTuber Old School MTG basically, yeah, explained that
they came over and they were coming to collect stuff and they threatened jail time and they
wanted to get the product back. They wanted to figure out where the hole was. And they
wanted to ask and interrogate and figure out that's the hole. It was a minor mistake.
And they did say that they would compensate them a little by sending some other product.
So a couple of booster boxes come in your way, kid. Just you tell us where it is.
This is the second story I can recall where fucking goons were sent on behalf of a company.
Yeah, it was the Rockstar guy, right?
I was thinking of Nintendo with the 3DS.
Yeah, you're right. Okay, so it's the third one.
So it appears that somewhere in the playbook of a number of companies, when things get
into a legally gray situation where I don't know, you fucked up yourself.
You escalate to goons immediately right now, right?
And you're not like, oh, this is not a clean cease and desist situation and lawyers wouldn't
quite cut it here. Yeah, send the thug squad, apparently.
We in the streets play it and get your mail.
They didn't attempt to even ask him to pull the video down first. The first response was
find out where he lives and send men there. Just like the fact that on multiple companies
like playbook of operations, this is a thing, you know, and yeah, this is not the first
time it's happened is obviously fucking wild.
Rightfully, the story's blown the fuck up because so you doxxed at some point, you found
an address, you showed up uninvited in person, you scoped out the situation, right?
Who knows if you were out on the block seeing what was going over your stupid fucking cards,
which you made a mistake in sending to the wrong place.
Wizards of the Coast seems like they're run by bad people, like more than the usual bad
people, like the really aggressively stupid and short-sighted ones.
Yeah, yes, there are stories about Sega in the 90s working with the Yakuza to kidnap
that developer's sister or some crazy shit like that as well.
Good news, everyone. Sega will no longer be working with any hired muscle to threaten
you and kidnap your sister because now Sega of America is going to have a union, so it
will no longer be criminals threatening you to not leak that Sega game.
It'll be you good ass union boys coming down to your house to tell you to stop fucking
up that shit.
Oh, local A-Team coming to knock, see what's going on, yeah.
So that's the second piece is a super majority of employees at Sega of America have voted
to unionize making it the first multi-department video game union in the U.S.
Multi-department is a pretty big deal, especially because the ones we've heard about have been
like QA or the programming, the dev team or so and so, like this is a large all-covering.
No, this is a big arm of an existing company. Sega of America is huge.
They specify as well a super majority as the like it wasn't just a 50% or slightly above
that all agreed. They filed it with the NLRB and will go by the name Allied Employees Guild
Improving Sega, a.k.a. ages.
That's great.
Isn't that the fucking isn't that a hell of an acronym?
It is.
It is a good one.
Fucking.
And you know what?
Ages.
I am now looking forward to.
I am now looking forward to maybe not Yakuza 8, maybe not like a Dragon 8, but maybe 9
where the plot takes place where Ichiban has to infiltrate a wildly corrupt union that
are actually running the Yakuza out of town and how they're abusing the legal framework
of the union to actually be a form of super organized crime.
Ooh, scary union. Ooh, why wait for Yakuza 9 when you can look forward to Yoko Taro's
upcoming Sega is Evil and runs the world video game.
You're right.
Yeah.
404 game reset coming soon, like.
It's right there.
It's just it's right there, right?
Right.
Yeah, members of ages all across the board.
That's going to be interesting.
I find, too, is like we've heard a lot of stories with the unions that are coming out
of a lot of, of course, Western studios.
This is one of the first ones coming out of a Japanese and American branch of a studio.
Right.
We're going to see situations like this where you have the Sega of America employees unionized,
but the Sega of Japan employees not.
That's good.
That's weird.
That's very weird, but it's absolutely a reality, you know, and it's going to be like literally
just cultural and country labor laws.
Yeah, like the like the labor differences culturally between those two countries.
They weren't weird enough, right now, so different planets.
It's going to be fucking insane because like it's exactly like now you have like a force
that's going to fight for better benefits for the employees and you have the dinosaur
boneyard that's locked down the way it is one of the oldest dinosaur boneyards.
And it's going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
So how fucking weird would it be to have someone be transferred from Sega Japan over to the
US offices and just be like, fuck this, I'm never going back if they're able to get like
that benefits and all kinds of extra shit, you know, like it's in the same company.
Like it's going to be very, it's going to be really sad for all the members of Sega
of America when Sega of Japan decides that they will in fact roll in publishing duties
for global operations into Sega of Japan.
And that Sega of America is just, you know, we found out we didn't need a whole separate
branch in the US, actually, we just, yeah, it was actually a whole lot of bloat that
we could have gotten rid of years ago, we're just going to make a new branch in Sega of
Japan for American global relations.
What are the odds?
What are the goddamn odds?
Operation Aegis Strike begins now.
So I think so usually, you know, the Walmart would kill the Walmart, of course, this kind
of thing, right?
Yeah.
Um, I don't think I joke.
I think Sega of America is like too important to just kill.
Uh, yeah.
They handle the publishing, you can't do that.
Now the major game regions, like, so here's the here's another thing.
Sega Sammy Holdings, which is above all of that entirely Japanese.
I don't know that they even have a US office that I don't think they do.
Yeah.
Um, uh, oh, no, no, no, no, they do, they do Sega Sammy Holdings has, has US offices
as well.
Okay.
So unionization is pretty contagious and that could hypothetically city, yes, you mean
that type of thought could hypothetically keep going up the chain.
But um, yeah, I just, and it would be great if so, but like I'm just kind of like, what
is the results of a Japanese company looking at better benefits overseas, you know, going
to be, what's their response to that kind of thing?
I don't know.
Is it like, so I'm not personally familiar with the state of labor in Japan, but I cannot
possibly assume that it is a highly unionized workforce from what I hear from people that
were in it.
Not great stories about really awful conditions, if you can believe it, which, you know, have
led to recent reform laws on, on work hour restrictions that were not in place for forever.
And Kairoshi is still a thing.
People still drop dead.
So yeah, not fantastic as you can imagine.
Japan has an average unionization rate of about 18%.
So I assume the organizational structure of Japan's labor unions is overwhelmingly dominated
by enterprise unions.
I don't know what the, the difference that is, regardless, um, this might be actually
good for folks working in Japan.
Cause if the Sega, like cause the American branches of Japanese companies are always
viewed as like lesser than they're not the real company, right?
They're the, they're the foreign branch.
But if they start getting it better than the people in the real company, maybe they'll
lead to a positive change or a lot of resentment.
This is the thing.
I think a similar, I think two things can be true.
I think we can see a simultaneous response to this where the sister company is changing
and meanwhile in Japan with things being the way they are, and a long way to go before
anything gets better for, for labor, uh, I could see the, uh, higher ups getting way
more aggro and defensive because of what's happening.
And I could see the employees wanting more change and wanting more benefits, but these
two things heightening in their aggression, you know, um, you know, I have to say it's
fairly strange cause like Sega of Japan already has non-corporate organizational structures
that look like a union.
They're just not a union exactly, well, they're, do they have the reach?
Do they have the access, the power and do they have the bargaining ability?
I mean, do they negotiate on behalf of their members?
Legally.
Uh, hmm.
I see.
So like who knows, maybe there could be a wonderful integration on the way.
They do have ferocity that one might say is kind of like a dragon.
Yeah, you could say that.
There is a, that would be a thing you could say.
Understood.
Okay.
Got it.
Uh, yeah, this is going to be an interesting thing to watch unfold.
I'm not, I'm not too sure what it is, but at the very least when, uh, something attempts
to unionize here and then like it gets like fought back against and, and, and like there's
and pushed back on, there's a lot of reference point in place for, um, you know, game union
workshop and all these things to go like, here's a, a group of people that have all
the information, here's a group of people that have like set this up and can help get
these things in place.
And I feel like, yeah, Japan's like not about to fucking get going anywhere close to that
anytime soon.
Um, anyways, you know, it's fascinating about this.
You know how, you know, Blizzard and those people were trying to unionize and people
at Raven software or getting the QA people to unionize.
Yep.
Did you notice we didn't hear about the Sega one until it was done?
Yeah.
Came out of nowhere and here it is.
Yeah.
The people at Sega of America are way better at unionizing than the other places because
they didn't get caught.
They didn't get shuffled.
None of them got reassigned to places that they fucking disappeared from.
They just did it.
Um, now the news that broke was that they filed for union election.
So it sounds as if there are still a couple of extra steps that have to take place, but
legally, you know, they, it doesn't seem like it can be stopped at this point.
And if you take the vote and then you file it with whatever, you know, a government coalition
you have to file it with, you're just, you're already unionized.
You just need to get the thing off the ground.
The national labor relations board.
Yeah.
Uh, yeah.
And, uh, that's 144 employee employees across, uh, how many departments, QA, localization,
live service, marketing, product development.
Yeah.
So, you know, I think the fact that they're the American branch probably helped them out
a lot because all they had to do was not tell like the two guys who talked to the Japanese
brand.
Right.
Yeah.
Everyone in on this.
Yes.
142 yeses.
Do you think, uh, Jimmy and Billy will be down with it?
It doesn't matter.
The 142 out of 144.
A message for game union, uh, for a message for, uh, game developer unions.
Shut the fuck up, the fuck up, the fuck up.
You will eat when the food is ready.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, it's really important to note that when you're going to try and set up your union,
you know who is the motherfucker in the office that will fucking snitch you all out.
Don't tell him.
Don't try and win that guy over.
Fuck him.
Ignore him.
Take him out to the pizza place while everybody else discusses the union.
Um, so that's what's happening.
Um, and in the meantime, uh, speaking of unions, I suppose, um, I don't know what they'd have
to say about this, but, uh, that Blizzard story has escalated quite a bit with NetEase
since they're now getting sued, uh, to the tune of 43 million to refund players and recoup
investments.
So there's merch that they can't sell.
There's, you know, stuff like that.
There's collateral that they have that they can't use.
But also, yeah, um, those people deserve refunds.
So part one took the game away due to a publishing dispute.
Yeah.
Um, part one of the story so a couple of weeks ago was, uh, that there was a sudden server
shutdown, uh, in China, uh, when NetEase was no longer, um, supporting the, uh, Blizzard
servers for World of Warcraft and Overwatch and all the major online, uh, Blizzard games
and they could not come to an agreement over, uh, renewal contracts that, uh, basically,
uh, NetEase wanted some extra terms in their contracts that Blizzard was not willing to
agree to.
Um, seems like there was, uh, some transparency, uh, uh, that bit, like, well, I'm trying to
remember the exact, uh, headline from when we first covered it, but wasn't it like, um,
like server code or, uh, part of the deal was that NetEase as a Chinese company wanted
like the access to like proprietary, like programming code.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Something to that.
Likely so they could firewall it like they do everything else out there.
Um, and Blizzard said, no, and they, uh, hit an impasse and the entire infrastructure
for, uh, basically China's equivalent of the battle network net support, uh, just shut
the fuck down.
Um, and, uh, yeah.
So now they're suing for the damages for 300 million yuan.
Um, this is wild is like, if they're, if they're suing for damages due to like player
refunds, dude, Blizzard would owe way more than fucking $45 million.
Yeah.
The, the, the suit mentions, yeah, the amount of refunds they had to give to people who,
uh, paid for subscriptions to services that were no longer available.
Um, as well as the breaking of contract terms that they had and, and whatever they signed
that were, you know, whatever they, there was some obligations that they had.
But they're, they're implying it, uh, they had to meet, um, yeah.
And that ease is also saying that they provided a Blizzard with a large advance to make future
titles.
Oh, and the titles were never finished or released, um, and Blizzard never returned
any of the seed money.
Oh, dude, that's super cut and dry.
If that's true, that's like right on the nose.
They have not commented on that, but that's the other side of the suit.
So, uh, that's completely different from contractual obligations.
That's a whole other like, and they gave them money.
Yeah.
Um, in any case, uh, I don't know, we'll see what happens.
But, uh, at the very least, I suppose if players were refunded the time that they bought, then
uh, the end user doesn't get fucked over in this scenario.
So that's encouraging.
But, uh, yeah, we'll see how this story goes on, um, sucks.
If you're a Blizzard fan in China, do you see the other Blizzard news that was earlier
in the week?
Nope.
Uh, about the crisis maps.
No.
So basically one of the devs, uh, I don't remember what project doesn't really matter.
Um, I was like, well, lost another employee because they're forcing return to home, return
office rather.
Oh, right.
Right.
Right.
Yeah.
And, uh, they're like, so get this, uh, we're having to fucking put crisis maps up on white
boards, uh, because so many people are just fucking quitting that like I have a fucking
whiteboard up of ship, like stuff that now cannot ship because too many people have left
the project.
Whoa.
And like people are quitting and they're like walking up to whiteboards and going, well,
this thing is gone now because there's not enough people left to work on it.
Damn.
I was a producer, world of watercraft.
Okay.
Holy shit.
Okay.
Just to, just to force people back into the office.
Yeah.
Cool.
Cool.
Sounds super worth it.
Those could have continued to function or, yeah, yeah, interesting.
Um, okay.
Other stuff going on, um, writers are going strike on strike again.
Well, that's fine because I'm sure, uh, soon enough we'll be able to just hire some AI to
do the job of the writers for them.
Okay.
We are.
So do you remember the last writer strike and how everything became terrible for like
five years?
I mean, it's, I remember that it's how we got reality TV to start with.
Right.
Okay.
So we're going to get a writer strike, but now they're going to have AI right fucking
movies and it is going to be way worse than last time.
It's happening.
Um, boy, but, but, uh, and that note, here's, uh, another thing going on right now, Square
Enix has announced an AI tech preview.
So this is interesting.
There's an old, uh, game called the Portopia serial murder case, um, from way, from like
1983, that was a, uh, basically the end, you know, solve the murder, text input, Yadda
Yadda.
Um, the main thing is they were specifying that this game, uh, had a command input screen
that was actually, uh, pretty frustrating because people had to type out the exact perfect,
uh, context or action to be exactly find the right wording.
And there was no direct instruction as to like, well, this word works here, but that
word doesn't.
And, you know, um, you know, maybe, maybe you don't close the door, but shut it.
You know, and, and, and whatever else you had to specifically know.
So, uh, this is a basically a program demo that, uh, they've rebuilt, uh, the game using
or portion of it at the very least using an AI system that allows you to just type natural
language and then it's going to contextually take what you mean to execute whatever you're
supposed to be doing in the game instead of having to fit into the exact language structure
that it was programmed with.
Yeah.
And, um, uh, that's what it's supposed to do.
Um, I have a steam review for you here.
Quote, I had high hopes, but I literally could not get past the first prompt.
I tried being creative and nothing.
I even tried typing word for word.
The options handed to me by the game and it did not work well.
How about that?
Um, that is, that is, uh, uh, fascinating that that is the result.
Uh, there's a big description on the, the part where the game also had a feature that
would have in context in world replies to prompts that were not part of the original
game necessarily that would use the AI to generate and what should be a natural response
given the context for whatever you're asking.
But they turned that feature off because there remained a risk of it being unethical.
Um, so there is, while that feature did exist, they're, they're, they're making it, uh, so
that it can't respond to anything that's not necessarily game related.
Um, but, but are we, are we, are we getting feedback that the, the simple input is not
actually working at all?
Is this?
No, it, it fucking doesn't work at all.
Well, that's fascinating.
Like there's a, there's a thread that I was reading this morning of that went way into
depth about how it's just like, it just doesn't fucking work.
And the game is like a bunch of JPEGs in the visual novel, but it's 10 gigs because they
just jam the entire AI engine into it.
Well, there's a speech-to-text feature.
Um, did the player of the game attempt to say rife rye?
I don't know.
I don't know.
Um, also the original version of the game on the Famicom actually used the functions
like look and investigate, like they choose it from the menu.
So it just worked.
It just worked.
You didn't need to do any of this shit.
Uh, yeah.
Well, how about that?
I guess a dropdown list would have still solved the problem and, um, yeah, you know, there's
yeah, there's always that.
I agree.
I forgot to talk about, I forgot to talk about something.
Somebody in the chat just mentioned me.
Okay.
Dead Island 2.
Yeah.
Okay.
There, it keeps telling you over and over and over.
Dude, do you want to use voice controls with Alexa?
Are you sure?
We have this massive feature.
And like it's multiple times the game stops you and says, why don't you try out the Alexa
voice controls?
And I'm sitting there and I'm like, I know what this is.
This game's been in development for so long that these were all Xbox connect features,
but the Xbox connect no longer fucking exists.
So they, they ported it into fucking Alexa Jesus fucking Christ.
I ran into two times where the game stopped me to hit me with a splash screen saying,
Hey man, try out voice controls with Alexa.
It's fucking hilarious.
We've already done the legwork.
We're not just going to rip it out and do nothing with it.
Yeah.
Um, well, better with connects.
Yeah.
Sure is.
Is it?
No.
For, does it see me?
Um, anyway.
Uh, yeah, I, it is interesting in the context of, uh, old video games where you had to type
everything out and that, that you typed, uh, a certain collection of action, whereas
with verbs and combined them with certain nouns in a given scene, um, if you just have
the ability select to select those from a menu, I, I, I don't, I don't see a problem.
Um, I've seen, uh.
What the fuck was it called?
Is it just called AI dungeon?
There's a game on, on, uh, there's a mobile game that's just a, like, type in your prompt
or type in your, you're playing a, you're playing a dungeon or something like that.
And then you like, it kind of just improvises, um, see a scenario and like, you can kind
of just play it out and it's interesting.
Um, I think, yeah, I think, yeah, I think, yeah, I think I remember that.
Yeah.
I messed around with that for, for a couple of weeks.
I remember just kind of like seeing how it worked and yeah, you kind of just can, uh,
essentially DM a personal story to you, you know?
Um, and I'm sure that we're going to see that used in, in, in some contexts soon.
Uh, but in the meantime, at the very least, as far as like retrofitting it onto older
game goes, um, when you take the game that was hard to navigate because of how, uh, strict
it was back in the day and then it gets worse, that's not the best advertising for your new
feature.
No, it sure isn't.
This is the, their test case.
This is like, Hey, look how AI can make a game actually way worse.
Uh huh.
Uh huh.
Well, anyway, um, what else is going on?
Uh, we got a couple people saw the physical copy of Star Wars Jedi survivor had a little
warning on the front that said warning download required.
Uh huh.
So, uh, the game itself, um, takes up to 155 gigs on PC and, uh, it seems as if to play
it, even if you buy it physically, you still have to connect to the internet and you still
have to download it.
50 gigs on a Blu-ray and we're not going to send you two discs.
That'd be silly.
Well, so just because we've gotten spoiled in this world of Blu-ray and infa and tons
of storage, why not?
What's wrong with more than one disc?
Uh, I kind of fucking hate it because it's the most anti-archival practiced ever where
you have games that do have physical copies, but you cannot now ever assure that you can
play them in an offline scenario and it's a single player game.
Um, I already know that we've gotten used to this for certain online games and yadda
yadda, like it's just, there's certain games that'll just never ever, uh, be properly archived
and that's all you can do.
But if it's a physical single player game and you do have the ability to buy it physically,
what the fuck is wrong with just putting more than one disc in?
We've done it in the past.
We got away from it as storage got larger.
But if you are now hitting the point where the storage is no longer exceeding, the capacity
is no longer exceeding the amount that is needed for these games, why the fuck can't
we go back to just putting a second fucking disc there?
Yeah.
Uh, by the way, folks are saying like, wouldn't that double the manufacturing cost?
No, dude, the Blu-ray is the cheapest part of the, everything about the game box shipping
is the most expensive part of game retail is freight is actually getting the discs on
a truck.
The cost of a Blu-ray disc is probably like a penny now.
The last multi-disc, the last multi-disc game I think I bought, uh, was, what the fuck
was it?
Lost Odyssey.
Yeah.
Lost Odyssey.
That had four fucking discs.
That was crazy.
That's probably the last one, um, on the 360, you know, and then after that, after, after
that generation, uh, they just went like, okay, we don't need this anymore.
Games are no longer hitting capacity.
So we're fine, um, but we're right back to that place.
But now instead of going for a second disc, we're just like, yeah, force it, internet
connection required.
Fuck you.
Um, download it.
I, I, like, yeah, I can't help but always think about things as, okay, but what about
in a cabin away from the world in the future?
You know, like what, like that's, luckily, Willie, there will be no cabins away from
the world in the future.
There will be no future.
Yeah.
Um, bad practice, bad premise being set here.
Definitely not the first time, but I, I, I hate what I see with this.
If I buy something physical, I, and I also just, um, made a move to like get rid of a
lot of game cases, I've gotten a bunch of disc holders to like, you know, uh, store games
that I would don't want to get rid of, but I also don't have the shelf space to, uh,
fill everything up.
So, um, I'm, I'm downsizing my physical collection to some degree, but I still want the ability
to not have to rely on any fucking connection, you know, um, yeah.
So that, that sucks.
That sucks.
Red Dead 2 was on two discs.
That's nice.
Ragnarok has two discs.
Ragnarok did.
Great.
But I didn't, I mean, I don't buy discs still, um, don't defeat the purpose of creating a
physical by doing this half and half bullshit.
But they want to, nothing would make EA happier than never having to ship another disc ever
again.
I mean, they would love it if you couldn't really own the game, just the metadata, you
know, every time you booted it, it had to be through us a fucking live service, like,
a stream, sure.
Um, anyway, not great.
And, uh, yeah, have you, have you seen footage of unrecord?
Have you heard of this game?
I have absolutely seen footage of unrecord.
I showed it to, uh, to Paige and she was like, yo, what the fuck?
Is that real?
And I'm like, no, it's not real.
She's like, you're full of shit.
That's not real.
It's the first time I've encountered somebody like the game is so like realistically focused
that somebody who is savvy actually gets got by it.
It's, it's of, I saw footage of it before it had a title months ago.
There was a video that just popped up on Twitter in the, uh, game dev threads and it was just
this realistic shooter with no name and you saw, um, the, yeah, the body cam footage of
this first person shooter looked extremely realistic and was just firing, uh, uh, you
know, out, outdoors and then indoors.
And it was interesting because like in that footage, the, the muzzle flash was so hyper
exaggerated that it didn't, it killed the immersion.
Yeah.
Um, it was just, it's funny because there's this tiny little detail and you're like, oh,
I see it.
And a lot of people were like, okay, you gotta cool it on the muzzle flash.
Like that's too much, you know, but everything else was really, really, uh, fucking stellar.
Um, now more footage of that has come out.
The game has a title.
It's called on record.
And, uh, yeah, it's, it looks insanely realistic because it's photogrammetry, right?
This is, uh, tech that is not just a live rendering of environment with, um, uh, dynamic
lighting conditions.
It's preset lighting, but it's all based on a real place.
Um, so the thing that gets me the most is the camera is like, I don't know how the fuck
the camera works cause it's, it's correctly emulating the very awkward way that a body
cam turns when you turn your arms or like it, that's the part that really gets me.
Yeah.
It's not that it's not the floating arms with a camera at the neck that you usually get.
It's actually located at the chest, you know, um, and, and it hangs low in the same way
you get off of body cam footage.
The, the it's, it's, um, if you have a real location that you can one to one map, um,
with a set lighting, uh, uh, configuration, you can get these results that they did it
for, uh, the vanishing of, of, uh, Ethan Carter, Ethan Carter, um, and that's why that game
looked so fucking amazing like 10 years ago.
But, uh, what you're trading off, of course, is the ability to have anything in the environment
be dynamically lit, you know, or have a lighting source really change.
As long as the time of day never changes and everything is set the way it is, um, high
noon is high noon, shadows are over there and nothing's moving.
You can get a fucking realistic looking, uh, especially on body cam low quality kind of
camera emulated footage, uh, thing and, uh, unrecord looks exactly like that.
But people thought it was fake.
They thought it was, uh, uh, not a real, uh, uh, rendering, not a real game.
So then some extra footage, uh, was put out by the dev who was like, no, here's me, no
clipping through the world showing you the geometry and showing you that it's actually
a video game.
Uh, but people saw the viral video of that and kind of were like, this is not even a
video game.
Shut up.
Uh, yeah, we're absolutely fast approaching that point.
And again, the tech has, has already been there.
It's just, um, pretty difficult to do.
There's some limitations and not everyone is willing to create a real set in real life
to then go and painstakingly, uh, photograph everything and recreate it digitally.
This feels like a game that was born out of dude, I have a really cool abandoned building
near where I work.
I got a warehouse right over there.
Nobody fucking uses it.
It's been abandoned for years.
We can do some cool shit.
Like this, this feels like the opportunity, like very obviously presented itself.
And you know, if you want to level design something because that's your profession and
you're good at level design, too fucking bad, you take what the world gives you, you know?
Um, but yeah, if you have access to like an abandoned boat or some rad settings, you
know what I mean?
Like you could do some cool shit like this and work with it.
Just never change the time of day.
Ever.
No, don't do it.
It's, it's the, um, it's the environment equivalent of the technological dead end that was the
facial capture in LA Noir.
Right.
Right.
Right.
Yes.
Yes.
We're hitting it.
Go ahead.
Oh, sorry.
It's like, if people aren't aware, like in LA Noir, like the technological steps they
had to take in order to capture their faces were ridiculous.
You had to seat the person in a pure white chair in a pure white room.
Their hair had to be short, tied up or shaved and they couldn't move their head while acting
out their lines.
Cause they were being photographed by like 400 cameras or some shit.
And it was this, wow, these faces are incredible.
And then it's like, we can never use this for anything else.
Like this is the most like limited fucking way to capture faces.
It's so expensive.
It takes forever.
You can't move.
Um, they've, they've come up, uh, they've gone, they've gotten a lot better now at
the limitations of facial capture and performance and such.
Obviously super massive is, is showing that off all the time, um, although they do have
super massive face, you know, yeah.
Like that, the inventing that technology was supposed to bring that studio like tons
of cash by licensing it out, but like it's fucking useless.
It's useless to almost everyone other than people making a fucking 1940s like crime drama.
It's, it represents, it's interesting cause it's like the tech to make hyper realism,
like questionably indistinguishable uncanny valley, annihilating realism does exist.
It's just prohibitive prohibitively difficult and expensive and, um, unrecord is one really
dedicated person going hard on that environment and that setting, um, a team of people doing
that with a massive budget at still there's like how many environments can you really,
you know, build like that over a given couple of years.
And then, uh, um, to combine that with like the type of tech we're talking about facially
and sit like that.
It's just, it gets so insanely expensive that it becomes impractical.
Furthermore, we're happy with shitty old graphics on a bullshit, stupid looking game.
That's fun to play.
And it's like, Hey man, how, uh, what kind of levels are we looking at?
And he's like, this is what I have available in my neighborhood.
These are the levels available.
Well, you could do like a forest.
No, I don't have one.
There's also something really interesting about watching footage of unrecord because unlike
an FPS, when you see that body cam angle and you see the hyper realism of the environment,
you're primed to expect something horrible to happen.
Yeah.
Your brain, your brain is telling you, it's the modern perspective of a tragedy.
Exactly.
You, your brain gets right into the place of like, okay, okay, how's this gonna, oh wait,
it's a video game, you know.
So you're going to have to jump over that hurdle, uh, when you're, when you're playing
a game like that as well, which is just, this is a entirely learned, new developmental
thing.
Culturally, the body cam angle and the hyper realistic environment just is like, Oh God,
uh, uh, fuck.
All right.
And then, you know, you, you blow away everybody in that, that warehouse and then, uh, you
don't get a good score unless you go up to them and hit P for plant.
And then you just get down and just sprinkle a little bit and put the, put the drop gun
under this guy.
And there you go.
You're done.
Good score.
Yep.
A plus.
Of course you got, yeah, anyway, put, put, press X to put tape over the cam and, and
play blind and do the, have the real fun.
Yeah.
And you shoot all 20 dogs in the game.
Um, I think what's probably going to happen realistically is I think it's immediately
in call of duty's interest to probably go down this road hard.
Uh, they're going to start, if they haven't already, uh, building something that's, you
know, going to hit this type of realism.
Um, yeah.
And they've got the budget size and capacity for it.
And that's the type of shit that would take over the news, take over the media, take over
the, you know what I mean?
Like if a call of duty game came out or every game, every map looked like on record, um,
and that's just the new level that video games hit, uh, that would be a giant story that
would, that would, yeah, I could see that happening.
Um, now everyone get real, real uncomfortable as we, as we, uh, fucking goo step over that,
that on candy valley, shiny boots held high, you know, in the background while you've been
talking a little bit, I'm watching one of the cutscenes from LA noir fucking unbelievable.
This game came out like fucking 15 years ago.
It's an Xbox 360 game and its faces are still better than most games now.
And I foresee on record to fall down the same hole of like, wow, that game looked in, wow,
whoo.
No one's going to use that.
No one's going to do that on record is as far as we know, an indie game, one developer,
right?
So it's automatically going to be infinitely smaller in scale, but we'll see.
Uh, yeah.
By the way, bomber cyber funk has a release date August 18th, right?
So mark your calendars.
It's going down.
All right, let's take some letters.
Hey, if you want to send in a letter, not about foot fucking, send it to castle super
beast mail at gmail.com.
That's castle super beast mail at gmail.com.
Let it be known.
I don't actually read these emails.
That's up to woolly.
See I kind of forgot, but you just hit the call back and like, like I'm, I'm willing
to like skirt the info on what I thought.
I thought foot fucking was one thing, but now we're, we're discussing that.
No, there is a much more litter.
Okay.
That, that conversation feels like it's from last week's podcast.
You know what?
Like, that's how far away it feels from here.
Don't stop.
Don't you don't need to write it anything about it.
Don't worry.
I'll ask Reggie tomorrow.
Okay.
See.
Smart.
Smart.
Uh, yeah.
Somewhere he just sneezed.
All right.
Um, can't even defend yourself.
Not even.
Okay.
Uh, here we go.
We got one coming in from, uh, if you have a letter sent to castlesuperbeastmail.com.
That's castlesuperbeastmail.com, uh, Calamity says, uh, dear woolly and Pat, I always get
bummed out when a game breaks the fourth wall to acknowledge my existence as the player.
It takes me out of the story because while I know the game isn't real, so to speak,
it tries to put one foot in reality by addressing me, but it doesn't work like that.
The game characters are in fact a bunch of art and letters arranged by a dev, but when
a character tries to speak to me, I got aware that it's just a dev having fun and being
clever.
So any stakes or emotions I have invested in the story and characters get dissipated,
uh, dissipated, excuse me.
Have you ever felt, uh, this about a fourth wall break, uh, something that takes you completely
out?
Oh, absolutely.
But for me, it's a, it's a, it's a distinction between like a good one and a fucking like
awful one.
That's really heavy handed.
Like, I think Undertale does a really, really, really great job.
Yep.
Um, like just reaching past the screen a little bit, but that's going to depend to taste.
Like some people just have no tolerance for it and other people are going to love it on
every single time they see it like, oh, it's like me, it's like I'm real.
The fourth wall break, like any other tool and any other story, uh, um, telling medium
can be abused and may have done horribly and made super corny and awful, uh, or it can
be done well in a way that exactly executes and makes the thing better.
Undertale is a really great example.
I remember back in the day, I loved it when, um, Psycho Mantis said, put your controller
on the floor and then Snake nodded.
And then, uh, he started reading the memory card and talk, like we all talk about that
Psycho Mantis fight as one of the greatest bits of fourth wall breaking in video game
history because it was excellently executed and it was a series of tricks back to back
to back to sell the idea that this guy was a psychic, um, fantastic fourth wall breaking.
Um, no one, we don't really go back that much to talk about, um, uh, uh, other, that's
the most discussed boss fight in Metal Gear Solid, you know, um, so, uh, it's, it's all
in how you use it and I think writing them off completely as an, as a method is, is dumb.
Like you got to separate the bad executions from the good ones.
Mm hmm.
I totally agree.
Um, and you know, people talk about fucking Psycho Mantis, uh, um, doing that shit in
Metal Gear Solid one, but they don't talk about fucking, um, and they talk about MGS
two talking to you, the player, but they don't talk about screaming Mantis doing it in MGS
four because an MGS four fucking sucks and it's super lame and it's the same thing as
from one.
Yeah, um, I'm also, so I haven't seen it, but my, my, the descriptions I've heard about
Star Ocean three sound like a fourth wall break occurs.
I don't know if it really feels that way in execution.
It's actually a fourth wall break to the characters, but not to you, but not to.
Yeah.
Okay.
And that has always sounded like one of the most horrible examples ever written success.
So, um, it's just, it's just, they never ran that back.
They never fucking ran that back, dude.
Incredible.
Incredible.
We're up to like Star Ocean six or something now and they're still, they just never touched
on that thing.
It's the worst decision I can think you could do with your setting.
Does it not retroactively make Star Ocean one and two, like terrible by a super does
it absolutely fucking does it's the worst.
You reached into the past and destroyed your fucking trilogy while reaching into the past
and saying, by the way, this shit, not, it was fake, shut up, God, all right, uh, let's
see here, uh, we got one coming in from Phoebe who says, dear Patron and Wollington, I just
finished watching, uh, that mass effect episode where, uh, red shepherd or Willie took red
shepherd to task for his choice in eyewear, um, those nightwing wannabe shades are one
of the best pieces of headgear for a sniper and the bonus to both weapon and headshot
damage.
I used to play infiltrator and I always wind up using them by the end of the game, despite
how they look.
So my question is without the ability to transform or hide your gear, what's your threshold for
aesthetics versus effectiveness when customizing?
Oh, it's, it's, it's delicate, man.
It's like, I can't even tell you what the, what the tipping point is cause it's always
going to be different, but like there's always a moment where like I put on the thing, you're
like, wow, look, wow, that's a lot of damage.
And I then look at my character and I go, no, like it's, it's just like, I just, in
your gut, I'm just like, no, I'm not fucking doing this.
No, I look like shit.
I was confronted with this exact problem yesterday when in street fighter demo world's tour,
they said, put the hat on for stats.
And I said, but I hate the fucking hat.
They force you to wear the hat too.
Like you can't get out of not wearing the hat.
No, no, I took it off and then you can take it off.
You can take, you do the mission and then you take it right off and then boss your rival
who's got the coolest outfit puts the stupid hat on and he's like, I need more power.
And it's like, you already look good.
You're fine without the stupid hat, but the game is telling you right away, oh, this world
tour is going to be your dumb monster creature Krodenberg also forced to wear the ugliest
unmatching gear.
Oh yeah, dude, it's going to be great.
Like, like, why, like, like I made my character look like a really close facsimile of me.
I think it's the closest I've ever gotten in a character creator.
And so I'm wearing the dumb hat and like, I hate that fucking hat.
It looks like I'm wearing that fucking hat.
Yeah.
I would not wear that hat.
That hat sucks.
I used to be a lot more stubborn about it.
Souls games have forced me to accept some degree of like, OK, fashion matters.
Not 80 percent of the time, but 70 to 65 percent of the time you say that because like every
souls game has gotten like less strict.
Yeah.
About the armor, like armor is like outside of equipment roll outside of a clip load has
become like just wear whatever.
It's mostly the same.
Just don't get too heavy.
But in my whatever in my in my recent revisits for, you know, in prep for when I read you
was going through them.
I was just like, I was really just like, man, OK, I'll take the piece I like and mix and
match a little bit to make a thing I want.
And then sadness.
And then I'll have to settle settle for these arms, these legs, yadda, yadda, you know.
And also, I mean, when I first fucking played Monster Hunter, I also was like, I don't care.
I'm going to I'm just going to dress up.
And then it was like, oh, God, no, you have to pay attention to this at least somewhat,
dude.
And yeah, I'm like, if you don't want to give me transmog, then it's going to matter to
me.
I'm going to fight it, but I want fashion to matter for like 75 percent of what I'm wearing.
Yeah.
So like when I was playing Elden Ring, there was like a period in which I'm like, I'm going
to wear the Le Yernian, the carry in knight chess piece, the one you get from the carrying
Academy.
Mm hmm.
I'm going to wear it.
I'm going to mix and match whatever the fuck I have to mix and match on my head, arms and
feet.
Yes.
So that the equip load fucking works out that I'm wearing this chess piece.
And then I got Blythe's Blythe's coat.
And then that became the new thing.
I don't care what I have to do on the other pieces.
Yeah.
I'm wearing Blythe's fucking coat as for as long as I can.
It's fucking great.
Yep.
I mean, you saw I rocked my barbarian punchmage, you know, look for most of that game, occasionally
switching just for the fuck of it.
But like a number of a lot of people complained a whole lot about being sick of staring at
my shit because they didn't want to see it.
And I'm like, and I don't give a fuck.
This is what I enjoy the most about these games.
I love how cool my fucking character looked and it's going to you're going to when I hit
a wall, I'm going to take a look and go, how do I adjust?
But I want to continue enjoying that, you know, also a lot of this goes the fuck out
the window if it's a first person shooter or first person game where I can't fuck it,
see myself because who the fuck cares, right?
I care what the gun looks like, yeah, because I could I could fucking see the gun.
Um, all right.
Here's one coming in from Kyle who says, dear dad bod and woolly mad bod, uh, I'm the dad
bod, it's me with that island to releasing to surprisingly positive reviews, despite
being announced a decade ago.
I want to know in your personal examples, what's a game that had a distressingly long
dev cycle but actually ended up being enjoyable as a final product.
So the infamous examples we all know are either the ones that are not out yet, um, shout out
skull and bones and beyond good and evil to, um, I'm hoping Metroid Prime four is awesome.
I'm, I'm, you know, fingers crossed, but like, what are the longest ones that actually turned
out great?
FF seven remake was intended for a long time.
It was, but understandably so, right?
It's FF started it and it still came out.
Excellent.
Um, you know what, LA noir, LA noir was, was yeah, it was a seven years.
That game was in development for a really fucking long time at rockstar, but it came
out great.
Resident Evil four remake was in dev for really, really, really fucking long time and it also
got restarted.
And that came out fucking great.
Capcom restarts a lot of games like a lot.
It's not always for the worst, man.
You know, um, yeah, I think already four original is probably the most like, like ridiculous.
They got restarted four fucking times.
It was super worth it that the last guardian took eight years to come out.
I didn't even fucking like get halfway through.
I was like, like it, um, Trico, man, Trico, yeah, um, the answer is, is most of them
turned out for the worst, but most there's a couple, um, and one last one here from
and who says, uh, dear Pat Foo and woolly bending ever since it was first mentioned
on CSP had a grown urge to get involved in the wonderful world of kites.
A summer months approach, my mind keeps wandering to the dreams of flying those beautiful paper
beasts in the sky, but help.
Where does one start exactly?
There are so, so many shapes and sizes.
How does one get into kiting games?
A quick beginner's guide or some starters tips would be very much appreciated so that
I too can start my inevitable journey towards being lost at sea, see you in the skies from
in.
Well, well, when it's thundering outside, you give your fucking kid a kite and a fucking
goddamn, uh, key and you say, fuck you little Ben Franklin, junior, get the fuck out there
and don't die from lightning.
Best of luck.
And when he doesn't, you take all the credit.
Every credit.
That is, that is one of the craziest stories of all time that it was Ben Franklin, junior
that got sent out by his dad because Ben was not willing to fucking risk it with the lightning.
And then when the lightning didn't kill Ben Franklin, junior, Ben Franklin's like, I fucking
discovered electricity right out there and just like, yeah, look what I did.
You made this.
I made this.
Oh my God, truly, truly a good dad.
Um, look, I like you and like everyone had no idea what to get into or how or what.
I just jumped on Amazon searched for kites, bought one, found a field on a windy day,
threw that some bitch up and the rest was history.
It's really, you know what happened?
Kite users are drawn to each other by some sort of fate.
Yes.
Yes.
Exactly.
No, the crazy ass like power sale type shit.
We did get lucky finding our, our, you know, kite fucking Jesus walking through to teach
us.
And on a real level, I bought one and I walked out to an empty, windy field and I just did
it like just buy one and go.
There's no, there's no getting into, there's no steps.
Just go do it.
Just do it, man.
Just do it.
The wind will show you the way.
Um, also, also, uh, don't do it where fucking people are walking by and you can slam it into
them and shit.
That's rude.
Don't do it during a thunderstorm, obviously, don't, don't do that.
Also that's,
The story may not be real.
Yeah.
So be careful.
Um, um, if you could stand behind the trees in a clearing instead of ahead of them, they,
because the wind blocking can be a problem.
So that's another piece of tech I learned, but in general, find a field, throw it up
and, and, and feel, and, and let, let the spirits guide you.
Wind.
Okay.
All right.
There you go, folks.
Lily is just tell them again.
It's so fucking weird.
So weird.
Yeah.
But this time she grabs you and does a giant fucking teahawk 720.
No, it's, it's, it's better this time, but still it's, it's bizarre how similar it is.
It's just the, why'd they have to show us what Lily Hawk was going to be?
She was going to be like 10 or 15 years or older and like had actually like a fucking
body and was like a grappler to be a zany kid character on the world.
And we already have Marissa.
I know.
Yeah.
I know.
All right.
Uh, there you go, folks.
Enjoy your fucking four hour, 40 minutes bite size, cut it up every day for the next
week.
Uh, we'll be back next time.
Have a good week, everybody.
Bye.