Castle Super Beast - CSB 266: The Gameplay Is Under The Titty Meat

Episode Date: April 23, 2024

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["Sailor Moon Theme"] Hey man, what's up? How's it going? Happy birthday. Hey, thanks. I appreciate it. I'm a little older now. That's pretty cool. Has the age set in yet?

Yeah, a little bit. The grays are coming through a little bit. Okay, like the you know what really set in the age Uh-huh what set in the age was handing my infant to grandma What said it that's a moment, so I'm moving and I'm not I'm not Your knee your knees hitting the button That's the that's the lounge, but I don't know this So I think the funniest thing about sitting down on your setup man is that it's it's so built for you That I'm like a tiny gremlin my I happen sitting with my feet crossed. You're doing the knee thing. Yeah, because

This yeah, because my fucking legs are too short. They would just date look They're dangling the legs are legs are in fact dangling. So credits where credit is due I'm here today because Paige Said that for my birthday I should be coming out here and see my family and Wooly, and that the baby should get to meet everybody, which he is currently doing. And it was a great idea. And thanks, Paige.

Thank you for my birthday present. I really appreciate it. There you go. As a treat, like I said, you can drop one Reason wrapper on the ground. I'm not going to do that. I'm a mature adult now. But yeah, no handy. Yo guys, that's a baby!

Isn't it? Isn't he a cute baby? What a dude! Oh my god! It's crazy. Ridiculous. The cutest orb of Just... Happy! So chill. so just positive and chill and like loving it.

So that one of the things that we were afraid of, because we took a plane over from Vancouver, right? So the baby was on a plane for five hours and we had to get up early in the morning and travel to the airport and do that whole thing. So he had a really long day. And we had this like we're sweating because we we know in our heart that our baby boy is a chill relaxed good guy but plane trips are hard yeah and we had this feeling that oh what if he what if he freaks you never know you know what if he freaks the fuck out so we get on the plane and he immediately falls asleep. He sleeps for like two, two and a half hours.

And then he wakes up with a jolt, ah, and starts squealing and jumping up and down and waving his arms and being so cute that the flight attendant wants to hold him. And people in the row next to us are like making eyes at him And I send you a photo Yeah As we're landing of me holding the guy and he's got this big goddamn grin and part of that is I sent that to My dad first. Yeah, it's like dad. I'm home I brought the baby But the other one is that I want to send that to you for proof that the baby is

Being chill as fuck on this airplane. Yeah, yeah. No confirmed chill. Absolutely. Like that is a you as a dice roll. You never know what you're going to get. And like that might also extend to like bringing him other places, you know. But the vibes are mellow and just again, all smiles. Hey, look, strangers, what's up? Hi. Like one of the goals that I have with this baby.

Goals with the baby. Yeah, no, that cracks me up really bad whenever we go with the baby somewhere is to cause fights because there was a couple to our direct left on the plane and it was a young man and a young woman and young woman was making eyes at the baby and like just fussing on the baby, oh he's so cute, hi. And the dude sitting next to her didn't give a shit. Okay, okay. And he's just being this little angel, this amazing perfect cherub And I'm like there's a fight that's gonna fucking happen in like two hours on a drive somewhere

About oh, what wasn't that baby? Just the cutest. Yeah, I was fine You know Right. Yeah, I don't know nothing. Yeah That's how it starts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Hey, what's up? Traveling with a baby is apparently easy when you have a really good baby. I'm sorry to those of you Who've had to travel with less good babies? Paige told me that I don't have to talk shit about other babies to make my baby feel great.

You don't have to. Fucking rules. It's so much fun. It's so great. Just be like, you watch like a kid crying somewhere in the airport, you're like, Oh, that's a shame. Darn. Motherfucker, why is your skin tone undead? I know exactly why. I know exactly why, Wally. Like, I'm trying? I know exactly why. I know exactly why, Wally. I'm trying. I know exactly why.

So I remember you and Paige had a conversation about this like six years ago. I'm trying. Where you were just starting to set up your home streaming setup. And she was like, oh, you got to use more purples and you got to use more of these colors because lighting black skin is different.

Yes. Well, you have set this these colors because lighting black skin is different. Yes. Well you have set this place up to light black skin exclusively. Yes, correct. Which means that I am now the recipient of the usual lighting conundrum. On the other side of things. Right! Yes! Okay. Yeah, this house has been tuned for black skin To it for lean or at least darker skin than mine. Yeah, no it is okay

I'm I'm working at it. There's not a whole lot. You're gonna be able to do Audio listeners if you're tuning in and you're a bit confused. Yeah, Pat sitting on the touching wooly right now is touching him In fact, I can even get inside the- I would rather- I can't reach. You can't, actually. You can't. Well, all right.

We're not gonna do that. No, but there it is. And- It's good to see you again, man. It's good to see you, man. It's really nice. Yeah. You look great.

Thank you. I look the same. But I got this cute baby now. You look like a dad, bro. Isn't it weird? I didn't change- Okay, no, but actually, your arms are jacked. Dude, the baby's heavy. Because the baby's like 20 pounds.

Yeah, you're doing like deadlifts and overhead and curls and all that in the form of baby. Yeah, because we came in and baby started to get a little fussy, just a little bit. And I'm like, all right, give me him. So I lift him over my head to do pizza time. And I start going like behind the head curls with baby, which he loves. that is an exercise

Yeah, no, it's a curse that I placed on myself because I was doing that I'd like a sit down I'm a new dad and so I want to do stupid shit with the baby I want to do like cool shit like, you know throw the baby and You know cool shit and pages like don't fucking throw the baby. Yeah, so Then you then you see the day they see the day that the baby's neck muscle kicks in and the baby can manifest his neck Muscles his head up and you're like, okay now Now we can spin the child right now. We can hold the child straight up And as every day he gets stronger now we can do more stupid shit but all that stupid shit becomes his favorite shit yeah and all his favorite shit is stuff that I'm like having more and more trouble doing every single day

unless my arms get big but now he needs it more and more so you got to get yeah get that Goron build yeah as people have pointed out in the live chat you can probably hear the tiny man downstairs right now who's hanging out with Paige and punch mom right now being a cute little guy so apologies if he's just the cutest guy in the world and makes you want to get your girlfriend pregnant I mean like the stated goal yeah yeah no man man. It's a wild one. I feel like the... Well, anyway, there's thoughts on that. Yeah. That'll come eventually.

So I was... So meeting you is incredible, Willy. I'm glad to see you again. I'm glad to see Punch Mom again. Giving the baby to my dad and my mom is that's a plus. That's like, oh, cause my mom was like trying not to ugly cry. So that like, I feel as if that is a like life checkmark moment is completing, right? A circle of life type thing is actually occurring where you're like, here is what we are all trying to do

here. Yeah. On this planet. I got to hang out with my nephew for the first time in a couple of years and my nephew wanted to hang out with the baby, which is great because he's 12 and 12 is a weird age where you're all weird and gangly and you're not super excited to hang out with babies. New smells and weird sense But he was chillin he wanted to chill with my baby

Okay, and I got to see my parents horribly deformed little dog that I didn't know they like get that fat. Oh Okay, although to be fair there's So here's the thing though like there's 12 as we remember it. And now there's TikTok 12. And TikTok 12 is a little more attention everywhere, a little more. Literally, we were talking to someone who was a teacher that was basically talking about how attention spans.

Kids these days. But actually, It's wild how like the you know the if you can't teach with a little Minecraft or or robots clip above your head and some soap being cut at the bottom. So like are you even trying? I'll give props to my sister. It doesn't look like she has allowed the iPads to annihilate my nephew's brain. Cool. Because he hung out with the family, and then at one point when we're talking about

all our boring old people shit, he just went to a different room to chill on his phone, and then he came back after 20 minutes. Okay. To rejoin and chat. Oh, okay. And I'm like, this is better than I was doing when I was his age.

Yeah, okay. But the other thing. And you didn't drop a look who decided to come out of their cave Oh, no, cuz like, you know, you look around you're like, oh, where's where's the nephew and my mom's like, I don't know He probably went to be by himself somewhere. You leave him alone and like the whole family's I leave him alone That's like oh, that's great Cuz my grandparents didn't do that shit. My grandparents were like, you bring Patrick out here, you gotta be with the family, came all this way.

I was like, oh my god, this is fucking worse. But here's the kicker. I was so, me and Paige were so fucking stoked. There's a kid on his phone playing a phone game. And we're like, hey kid, what are you into? You know, what do you like to play? And he's like, oh, like on this and this and this So I'm really into spookies house of jump scares. Hey

Hey Pages oh, yeah, no, we know Sheena. Yeah What? Absolutely, he's like what? Really, that's awesome. And they all of a sudden the whole dynamic of talking to the nephew just fucking inverts? Yes, yes. I had that recently. So we went to visit some family as well when we were seeing some of my nephews, exactly,

and nieces. And like, yeah, nephew is about like maybe 11 or so. He's got to be 11 or at least at this point. Okay, so pretty much the same as what I'm talking about. Around the same exactly. And like really smart kid, always fun and like, you know, lots of good chats and stuff. But like I remember just every time we'd see him, it'd be a little bit more like he'd come over and he'd at first he was into Roblox and then he's like, so I've been getting into Dragon Ball and I was like, oh, oh, oh, okay, okay.

Of course you are. And you know, like his friends are kind of doing it as well. And like, and like they're getting like he's in the form of just kind of like YouTube clips and like, sort of just like moments on, you know. That's how we all got into Dragon Ball. But that's what, yeah. And so like the most recent Hangout, there was like, you know, and then of course like, he'd be like, oh, you're like YouTube. I would like that one. He wants to do YouTube as well, of course. Of course he does.

You know, that's the new astronaut. And then you give them the speech about don't let the kid do it. Da da da da da, you know, but no, but like, so then went over to their place and he was like, yeah, so me and my friends actually, we started working on like our own manga. Okay. And then like I started drawing and stuff and everything. And I was like, oh, that's pretty cool. Actually back in my day, I did too.

And yeah, like here's a couple pages of what I used to work on. Here's the robot I drew. And he kind of went like, oh shit. Oh, like you are doing all the things that I wanted to do already. And then a bit later, he was kind of like sword fighting and then playing around or whatever and doing it just as catas and stuff. And I was like, here, let me show you something cool. You put the sword back in the sheath and then you can draw It's like oh like like samurai stuff, and I was like yeah, I had a stand

And it was like and he's like oh shit. I'm like oh, yo, I you're infecting your family with cringe I've been I became the I'm the cool uncle bro like I became It's like legitimately like okay. I want, OK, I want to draw this. I want to draw. You've already done that. I want to do YouTube. You're currently doing that. And, you know, all that like Dragon Ball. And I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. Who's your favorite? Right. Oh, yeah. Did you see that?

And like I can. I'm like, we have Dragon Ball in common. Right. That's because like that's exactly. I'll just go forever. So that's not going to get out of Dragon Ball. Yeah. So I'm like oh fuck I am I am officially in like yeah cool uncle territory. I'll take it. I'll take it while I got it Dude, I was so I was like so worried That like I'm like okay. Well. This is gonna be a very

Difficult and time-consuming podcast to arrive to so my I'm super worried, like, oh man, what if I don't have anything to fucking talk about? Right, what if I don't have anything to talk about? So I played all that phone shit. And then, I mean, we'll get to it later, but I'm watching the fucking Soft Ground Wrestling update, and it's like Brennan fucking new. Oh my god, so there we go. I mean, you know, top fucking story. And you know, top fucking story. And you know, and just shout outs both Brennan, like Brennan and Manzoor getting the head of the curb, getting on a fucking plane, flying to Uganda. And they jumped in to stomp out

Lord White in soft ground wrestling. Incredible. It's everyone. It's all everyone's talking about in wrestling right now. It's everyone. It's all everyone's talking about in wrestling right now. It's it's great They took like Lord white is one of the all-time best gimmicks ever, but it's a gimmick that is like Locked to Uganda and a couple surrounding countries, right? It has to be a white guy in a black Formerly British colonial allies that has to be these specific things. So it's kind of locked to Uganda, but it's so incredible. And Brennan and Mansour are like, no,

by going there ourselves from America, we can just export this emotional context. Fuck you. To the rest of the world. Exactly. Like, you know, we like America first, fuck the British. Get out of that shit and then bring in the, yeah, the M pose as well. What was sick too was watching.

So yeah, for those of you who haven't seen it, Maximum Male Models, you know, are in Uganda with the Soft Ground Wrestling crew and they're doing it. And like what was dope is like beyond the couple promos they shot where, you know, Brennan does the shh and then gets the chest slap off and stuff. They show like on the Twitter as well that like they had to dig up the ground and like actually earn the right to use the ring. Yeah. So there's some pictures of the two of them like actually digging in the ground and like creating the ring. Oh, that's fantastic. You know what I mean? Like you have to earn it basically, but before you can jump in there

and start doing moves. Yeah. So they're in there doing that. And they're also doing like a fundraiser as well, which I yeah, we should shout out. So the orphans of soft ground wrestling are gonna see they're selling fundraising, a merch that you can check out. There's a link in the description I'll put. But yeah, like, everyone is basically like all everyone they're a part that's a part of the crew. They're all orphans, you know, and getting into wrestling is like, oh, yeah, that that is the kind of a massive detail that I missed.

Yes, no. So the the whole deal is basically like orphans in Uganda are becoming wrestlers through this league and a bum bash, I believe. This is like every Luchadores origin story, but just Uganda and as a whole goddamn organization. Yeah. And that's exactly it. It's something for the kids to do. It's a place to put their fucking, you know what I mean? The motivations and strive for something and them getting

a positive online attention and all that is like, you're helping these kids build something. Yeah. So they're helping with the fundraiser on that. So check it out with the link. Will Ospreay has been like, yeah, retweeting a lot of this as well. And that is wildly unshocking. Yeah. And it's just, it is insane that like they actually went down there first and got in the ring, you know? There's a power to being unshackled by any federation or league. It might be tough to get permission to fly out officially if you were part of the WWE because you're calling Vince and his lawyer is telling you that he's in depositions or

in court right now. But I need an answer. Well, he's not going to be able to answer anyone for a while. Yeah. And obviously, the big story is how insane the WrestleMania sequence was with all the strikers that were coming back and everything. But the fact that these guys are just independently able to go out there and then do like, and anywhere else for that matter is awesome because when he was on the other day, you're kind of like, is it like, what do you, like, is the plan to kind of just like get into another like kind of contract or like, what is the eventual goal here? And it seems like they're just able to be free agents jumping from league to league

and they are themselves, they are their own brand, they have the full on marketing thing going and they can appear anywhere It's not untethered my usual the usual expectation that I would have When a wrestler would say that they're part of the indies is that they are trapped on the high school gym circuit Fighting drugs bunny and fucking super dragon and and and whatnot and and going up to matches where sabu is too drunk to come down to the ring but these guys have managed to just become like no we're still proper professional wrestlers we're just here and now we're here and now we're here yeah yeah and they're that's it and because they flew around the world they're on a world tour you know while we're at it just we're here. Yeah, yeah. And that's because they flew around the world.

They're on a world tour, you know, while we're at it, just stopping off wherever they can, getting some wrestling in, you know, just if there's a league that's in the town that's a small league or whatever, like they're not gonna say no, you know what I mean? Why the fuck not? So it's, yeah, it's like, like whenever I go somewhere,

like I kind of want to be like, is there an FGC here? Is there like a local like meetup I can kind of jump in and go see and see what's going on? You know, there's always a local league. There's always someone that's down to do a match. The question is, can they fuck up any title holders and win titles for places that they'll get? They'll never come back to this country.

I'm going to take the belt, and we're just going to fucking peace out and we're gonna lose visa status and we're not gonna be allowed back. Just ruin every league on the way around the planet till they get back home. A collection of belts. I assume part of that discussion is like,

listen, if you get this belt, you're willing to come back to the country, right? Like, totally. Sure, man. Absolutely. Uh-huh. 100%. Whatever you say, bro. Listen, if you get this belt, you're willing to come back to the country, right? Like totally sure Whatever you say, bro, we'll eat before I forget I want to say first of all Thank you for having me on the show in person. Yeah, I want to say you have a lovely home You've done an incredible job. Thank you very much. You and punch mom have decorated immaculately Your studio is really impressive. I'm looking around at all the bits and bobs and you've done a lot of work on this.

Thank you. And I look up at the Chrome tab and I see the fucking phrase relaunch to update. Yes, because this fucking browser has not been fucking closed in God knows how long. Literally, literally one day. One day. It's one day. It's an update. It's an update. I totally believe you, but I don't care. It's still so funny. That's fine. That's fine. Yes. It is regularly updated. But yeah, yeah. You know, it is it is it is regularly updated but Yeah, yeah, you know, it's all it's all set up and and and accommodated for Again, just building a building the studio from scratch because we both

Improvised some homes to studio setups in 2019 that were not supposed to be long-term studio setups You know, it was supposed to be the for fun. Maybe I'll stream on a Wednesday setup and not the OK, here's the fucking nine to five. This is the gig. Right. And so that couch that was meant to just be like, sit here, have a coffee and then get up is now like, oh, I'm working from this couch. Yeah, that temporary mixer and and standing mic set up in my basement was not supposed to become a long-term tripping hazard Insanity, you know, so yeah

No The ability to redo this from scratch to create something that won't destroy my back when I laugh at disco Elysium is Very important, you know You know good on page for having her back horribly go out because when that happened She became really interested in not just destroying your back with good chair. Yes good tech She was the first person out of any of us to go Herman Miller I'm gonna get Miller and then I sat in it and I'm like It is a pretty fucking good chair. Yeah, I could probably I could probably do like

fucking good chair. Yeah, I could probably I could probably do like, like a while. Yeah, this chair. Yeah. And then you started to look into that shit. And you're like, Oh, these are pretty good fucking chairs. Because because it's also the thing was like, you know, mid quarantine is like, you're sitting, you're putting these fucking chairs to so much more work than you usually would. It's like, okay, well, this is my computer chair from my little side streaming show. And now I'm turning it into a fucking office chair that is going through more ass use than somebody who works in a real office. Yeah. And the thing is too, and admittedly now your setup has moved away from this, I still like

couch and TV. Yeah. That's a vibe I enjoy because to me that's video games. I totally get that, you know, and like I don't want to lose that for headset gaming. So the thing with me is like our, our setups couldn't be more different. Now you have a maximalist setup. I'm looking at one, two cameras, I'm looking at studio lights, I'm looking at one two cameras. I'm looking at studio lights. I'm looking at a big TV

I'm looking at every possible many screens and I want the opposite. I'm like, I'm so fucking sick of tripping over cables I am so fucking sick I need to replace this monitor time to fight the world right to get this monitor out So I just jammed it against the fucking wall and I wanted a desk Right to get this monitor out so I just jammed it against the fucking wall And I wanted a desk so in the temporary setup that I had before we got into the the the proper house I ended up having to have a desk desk set up And I'm like wow just having a second monitor on a desk is a lot easier than I expected because I had been I had like I had a P like a

Jive fucking arm stapled to my coffee table. Right, right, right. Like, and you have like a proper desk set up with a mixer over there. All over there. Right. Wires are managed to the side. And I'm like, I just, I just want to put a screen next to a screen. Yeah.

And just deal with it. Um, and you will notice as well, uh, the TV is closer. It's a lot closer. I remember I remember when we did DMC 5 and re2 I was like, I don't know like you you have deep you have good vision and I'm like I can't read that shit I can't I can't read I don't know how the fuck you're doing it. I don't know how you were doing it This is great. This is this is This is good. Yeah. So, that is ideal.

And, you know, and you'll get to take that for a test spin tomorrow. Oh, tomorrow? So what are we doing tomorrow? Well, I've been hard at work setting it up, and I'm just about done. I have completed most of a Dante save file in Devil May Cry 3 for the Switch, and a Virgil save file in Devil May Cry 3 for the Switch, so we can do co-op Bloody Palace. Fantastic. That is the perfect continuation of the last thing that we worked on on a long term.

They dropped that in the Switch version? I can't believe it is trapped in the Switch version. There are so many versions of Devil May Cry 3 and it is only this one version. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And in the process of doing that, it also allowed, gave me an excuse to take that version of the game for a spin. Yeah. So... How is it?

Style switching? Yeah. Oh my god! It's such a better game. So... It's crazy how much better the game is. So... When you add style switching I we had this fuck

We had a long conversation about this One page so we mean page we're doing the page may cry series Right and we had to stop it because baby was attacking her joints. He was stealing her calcium Which meant her shit was swelling up and it was just becoming it like a problem so that got put on hiatus for a while Yeah, and the the there was a huge like discussions like should we go through? DMC 3 HD or should we go through the switch version? And we made the decision to end up going for HD which is based off the original instead of the switch version, right?

Because for you and me Throwing style switching into Devil May Cry 3, but let's fucking go it's But for somebody who's stepping foot into Devil May Cry 3 for the first time Maybe that might be a little extreme. Okay. Okay It is yeah, it is a more linear experience as it was intended from the jump, but I mean, I can't see it anymore. It's too far beyond. There's no looking back.

That freedom, and then in addition to that, there's the... So you have your weapon switching, but you have the quick switch weapon wheel. So you can... I didn't even know about this. Okay, so you have your style switching on the D-pad Yeah And then you can tap R2 and L2 to cycle Yeah But if you hold and then flick the stick in the direction of the weapon wheel that pops up You get right to the weapon you're looking for

So they should put that in fucking DMC5! It's better! Cause like when I was playing Dante in DMC 5 it's like I just want I I'm one of the people that like I put every single gun and weapon on him Yeah, one of them. Yep, if I'm gonna play a character that has like fucking five weapons and five guns I mean, I want them all but like sometimes you're like click click click click click to get to the one exactly and you count The clicks and you know, and so we Were talking about this back when and this is exactly when I remember we were talking about

shit that Hitchhiker was trying to mod in and fix. And you can legitimately just hold it, and Nevin is at six o'clock, or seven o'clock. So just hold it and go straight to it, and you just grab it. And it's like, I can't look back. It's so much fucking better. So yeah. Can we just get this version of the game onto...

It's weird. It's weird. I understand that they wanted to have the Switch version be special and have special shit, but now I'm just like, why can't the other versions have that special shit? That stuff's great. Dude, when you walk up to a weapon combo adjudicator and it's like, you need a special light of the moon, and it's like, oh yeah, it's right there. You didn't have to pre-pick it.

Everything's right there. You can solve them all right off the bat. Also, a style adjudicator with style switching means those things are jokes, right? Oh yeah. Like there's nothing that can stop you. So no, that is awesome that that was added just on the base level. But yeah, the other thing, but it's stupid,

but again, and we'll look at it more, but like for the co-op Bloody Palace, you have to load up two separate save files for each character and that's what it grabs. That sounds weird. So yeah, effectively, like do a full ride and then do another full one. And then if you want to not be baseline, you know, no moves, nothing cool. So yeah, that's that's a part of what I spent my week doing. And we'll continue to as

well. That's tomorrow. That's Tuesday, April 23rd. That is in fact tomorrow, yes. The schedule will get posted for that. Oh yeah. The rest of the Pat Stairsat schedule this week is I'm going to hang out with Wooly tomorrow and Reggie, I believe. Reggie's coming through. Reggie's going to hang out. Then the rest of the week, I'm going to hang out with my mom and dad and sister and see the town and hang out with baby and Paige. Life is happening. By the way in addition to Paige giving me the birthday present of dragging my ass back out here to see all you folks she's giving me a different present which I can recommend

to no one but me and my wife which is the day of truth. Today is a day in which I could say anything I want and she's not allowed to get mad. This is the day of truth. And And for my birthday, Paige also got Wooly a present. She got a mainframe entertainment jacket. How fucking sick is that? That she acquired from mainframe entertainment staff. Because that's in Vancouver and that's where they live and that's where the place is that I wanted to be forever. It was weirdly easy for her to get that jacket.

Fucking crazy. If you can believe it. So cool. Oh my god. Legit. We were worried it wasn't going to fit and it fits perfect. Yes, I have gotten to the size that I can actually wear this. This is fucking awesome.

Here's your reward, sir. Thank you. Yes. Oh god. Um, nah, man. That that that is that is rad as shit. So incredible fucking. Yeah. Thank you, sweetheart. Thank you. Yeah. Good acoustics. You should marry that guy. I should. I should marry that girl. Now that we have the baby, I should I should marry that girl. That's it now that we have the baby I guess I better get on it shit

Now fuck it all right It left me okay If you could if you could actually believe it despite my energetic demeanor getting over here was actually like fairly tiring You're doing a good job faking it. Thank you. Yeah, also caffeine is my friend That's not bad I'll tell you what man coming back to Montreal is like such an experience because the first person we ran into tried to fuck Us over it was this fantastic experience where we rented a car because we want to go around places and

Though I will send an uber to pick you up at the airport. We'll be like, oh, that's really nice. And then the Uber shows up and there's a fucking car seat in the Uber! Are you fucking serious? Okay. Okay, great. That's, oh, that's super. Alright. So, okay, we'll just make do.

We'll just make do. Then we get to the car rental place Well, I hey great the guys like really pleasant and nice and then As I don't have my license page puts up her license for the the the registration and he's like, okay, sir Let's go check out the car and I'm not anything about fucking cars. My wife's the driver. She's the adult and he's like, uh And I'm like holding the baby and I have the diaper bag and I'm clearly mom in this situation. And she's just like fucking incredulous. Like, okay. And then they go out and he's like, he's me. You know, you mark

down the minor dings that's on the car. Yeah. And page has to go. You missed that. You missed that. You missed that one. You missed that scratch. And then last but not least, he's like, okay, you're good to go. And we're like, where's the car seat that we ordered? It's like car seat? I'm like, I'm holding a nine month old infant in my arms. Like the car seat and he brings out what are obviously expired non-functional car seats. Which I did not know.

Yeah, car seats expired. They're like bicycle helmets. Yeah. And so it's so fucking late. It's like 11 PM at night, and we're just like, fuck it. And when we went and hung out with my mom and dad, we rented a car seat from a different lady who helped us and was very nice.

But just like, wow, right off the, like right away, like welcome home Pat, here you go. Great. Wonderful. Yeah. I mean, again, I feel there's, there certainly is a big takeaway, which everyone is freaking out about, which I, which yeah, things can expire. Yeah. Car seats expire. Did not know. And if you get into an even a minor collision of any kind, like even a fender bender, your car seat is invalid. Insurance. Oh my God. Yeah. That's like

the first thing. The knee. Yeah. The first thing they're going to look at. My legs are too small, Wooly. Well, okay. I can't help it. It might be more comfortable. You can try it out I could try it you could try it out. What if you'd laugh at my Chernobyl, baby legs? That let's fight here. Let's get it. Can we get a white on that? Oh, okay? That'll do yeah, you're good You're fine. Anyway, no the The the yeah, I I Can't I'm not gonna try to do it. I just like I feel like I feel like I've had a much more positive

Montreal experience. Yeah, I really do love this city and every time you guys have that shit go down I'm like that fucking sucks. That's garbage. Um, I Yeah, I don't know. It's uh, it's the way it happens Regardless, it does it does give you like that good feeling of like yeah, the right decision was made You know Cuz like if I like there's like a part of me that's like I moved far away and I'm seeing my mom and dad my sister For the first time in a couple years, right? And I got the baby and it's like should we and dad, my sister for the first time in a couple of years, right? I got the baby and it's like, should we have stayed?

No, no, we shouldn't. No, it's the right decision. Absolutely. 100%. Right, right, right. Yeah, you kind of talked about those moments of getting used to getting settled in and just the vibe of the neighbor pie and the little exchange- We're building our village, man.

Corner like table shop and all that. Yeah, that's a real cozy ass vibe that is like, yeah, this makes you feel really good about where you are and people around you. Oh, yeah. Well, I got a friend of ours is just texting me right now. She's taking care of Elmo. Sick. Because Elmo's 15.

He's old as fuck. That's like, how's Elmo? He barfed on the floor, but he's happy otherwise. Great. So this does it. I know this is not a universal, but for for me and for Punch Bomb and like, I have these moments where when I'm going out to like a like festival in the city, right? When they when there's a when there's a cool thing where they like they lock down a road and it just becomes a nice like promenade. Oh, yeah. Like a bunch of things like like a booth

set up and people are just out and about doing stuff and chilling. And there's like art on the sidewalk and on the streets. And when all that culture shit is going down, I fucking love it, man. See, that's the biggest difference between you and me is that I'm like, oh, that's cool. Who gives a shit? Yeah, I love it, you know? And then the same thing for some of the nightlife as well and all that shit. There's stuff that I legitimately like I have a really like Good time with it. I'm like, yeah, I love this and this is this is pretty unique, you know

But if it doesn't at all fucking apply Yeah for me like my fucking it's a non-commit day is like I wake up early and take the baby So Paige can sleep in and I'm like, hey little baby Do you want to watch fallout and baby goes? Yay And then I'm just gonna chill with in my pajamas with my tiny version of myself and watch the end of Fallout. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So, you know, that's kind of an element of it too, where like,

when I'm looking at like the bullet point list of things that like I love about this city, they do not apply to yeah and the things that you enjoy you know mm-hmm so did you finish fallout then I did finish fallout okay it fucking kicks ass it's fantastic finishes strong oh yeah it finishes really strong and what's surprising is that I finish it I go wow I'm excited for season two and then like a week later they announced season two and I'm like that what that is a fuck that ends with like a fucking end of part one like text message on the screen I can't believe they ended that show in the way that they did without confirmation that they

were gonna make a second one cuz they yeah they announced that immediately just earlier this week and I guess it's one of those things where if they just kind of look at, I suppose just like look at the stream numbers and the amount of people talking about it, you can just be like re-up that shit immediately. Oh yeah. Right? It's really fascinating because when it was coming out, I saw that there was, I'm going to call it the grognard

Groups were just going it's it's shit on the can Timeline and it's it's making games non-canon, you know that kind of fucking attitude And I watched it and I finished it and I'm like These are the complaints of people who didn't pay attention. Okay. Like, it doesn't contradict anything. Okay. It absolutely, like, it was made by, like, freaks who are obsessed with detail.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And who, like, did everything they could possibly, like, just fill this in right here. And just, where can we put it? We can put it here Okay, and like just just just all we got to work around this. We got to work around this We got to work around this and then they do So when a show like last of us comes out and it's really good, but it's also more or less on It shackled to the source material. Well, it is a direct adaptation exactly and then but then they change things Yeah, like oh, I'm not a big fan of how they did this

I'm not a bit like for last of us I was actually really bummed out because like my favorite moment in the game is when the guy pretends to be injured and Joel goes to run him over right? Oh, he's not even hurt. Yeah Yeah, they just took that whole scene out and it's like, that kind of says a lot about the state of the yeah. But I bring that up to say so with this, they're doing their own thing that it takes place afterwards and such. But like I see like some people are going like, yo, New Vegas and stuff. And it's like, is there a thing where you're like, this is its own story. But if season two comes around, here's a little laundry list of things we didn't see from the other games that we expect to pop up. Okay. Well, I gotta talk. Okay

We're gonna talk very minor spoilers about the the season two of fallout The TV show okay minor spoiler minor spoilers the the fallout TV show Season two is going to be called Fallout season two New Vegas. Oh, legitimately. Okay, for reals. Okay, yeah, all right, never mind. Yeah. Okay. Like, it's, it's, it's, that's, that's the stinger. Gotcha. Okay. Because, yeah, someone's... And they, they have little bits and pieces and they have, like, somewhat familiar locations. They have some, there's

at least one directly continuing character. But everything is just kind of fucking threading the needle of plausibility. Interesting. Okay. It was, aside from tone and general setting, they actually like held back pretty strongly on like, Hey, you know, this fucking guy or this monster? Like they, they, they made like a new is, I don't know if gulpers are from like four or something. There's like a new scary radiated monster that gets a lot of play, but I don't personally remember. Okay And yeah, they do they just do a lot of good new shit with it. It really oh, it's from 76. No 76 references. Yeah, like the the show is written as if it was a new game. Okay. Yeah, it is direct sequel. Yeah, and

there's Plot revelations that some people are well, but that wasn't in the games. Like, no, it wasn't in the games. It's in the TV show. It's also sick though when something like that has no ties to any, like nobody knows what's coming, right? Yeah. It can be anything, fans and new people.

Absolutely. Right. So nice. Okay. And it's, it's, it's yeah, it's stellar. It's fantastic. But like I don't have the most free time in the world now that I have Tiny Baby Man. And I just blew through it.

I just decided to spend every second that I had available over the course of a week and just go bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. The episode lengths are like insane. They're ridiculous and they're not true. Like you mentioned there was yeah, it's a credit or whatever. It's like the episodes are not an hour or an hour and 14 minutes long. They're 45 minutes long. Okay. They're regular ass hour length plus commercial television program length. Yeah, I mean, that's why I mentioned it last time, but that's why I appreciate that X-Men is

like a hard 30 minutes. I don't know. It feels like an hour long. You're doing such a good job with it. It's actually more show than it used to be because with commercials, it used to be like 21, 18 to 21 minutes. Yeah, 21 to 23 would be the standard run time. Now the full 30 is actually like more bang for your buck.

I don't know how the, like we talked about this last week about episode five, but I'm genuinely like the ex, we would laugh about how ridiculous the Spider-Man and X-Men pacing was in the 90s. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the story can't go any faster without just cutting whole scenes out. And then they kept it that way. It's the same. This is going at the absolute top speed the scene could go.

But it's functional. Oh yeah. It works. And they know how to pace it and make it like while it's breakneck speed, things slow down though. Yeah. Like, just with five. They slow down fast. you know, like like it like I just with slow down fast That's it, right? Like when it slows down to reveal like rogue looking hot

It's like yeah, you would use in in a in the show of the past that would take like four seconds and then they Immediately pan over to yeah, and here they're like no let the scene breathe because you you're gonna feel that that's that That's an emotion. We want to linger on you know it feels like Like a really extreme version of cutting the chaff of like what does this scene actually need like I'm thinking of like the the the dance Scene in episode 5. What does it need it needs rogue looking cool? It needs Magneto to say some smarmy ass like holier than thou shit, it needs a cool dance thing that ends a certain way, and it needs Gene going, Ah, visions! And that's it. So what do you get? Just those fucking things. Like no interim, no nothing, nothing no extra no fluff. I mean like there was like a

two minute like infidelity moment Yeah, and it was so quick and brief, but it was just like oh fuck. Oh shit. Just enough to just Yeah Well, so I mean while we're on it beyond fallout what else is going on Okay, so there was fallout and then I decided because I got back in a honkai star rail, which is I talked about that last week So I decided you know what Willie since you got all into Nikkei goddess of victory Which somebody pointed out to me is only called Nikkei because they can't call it Nike

As Nike is the actual Nike is copy. Yeah, that makes sense. You know, I'm going to play a bunch of phone games that have PC clients and I'm going to just figure out like, yeah, what's what's the deal with Limpus Company or Punishing Grey Raven or AFK Journey or Nikkei? And that was a fucking eye opening experience. That was magical. So those are the four that I'm like, I'm going to do these four and 10 minutes

before I start the stream, I start getting tweets from people who recommended AFK Journey and go, Hey, so I shouldn't have recommended that. That game is actually shit. And I got a DM going, hey man, sorry, I shouldn't have done that. Just getting excited on the idea and then going, wait, hold on a minute. I actually hate this. I didn't think about it deep enough. It's wild. That sounds like the Gacha hooks grabbed on, and they went through the motions, and then went, yeah,

I've been playing that a bunch, therefore, let's recommend it. I've never encountered that in my fucking life. Wait a minute. I hate this, actually. This is the more intense version of when we've asked people, hey, I would like to, do you guys want to see this on stream? And people go, yeah.

And you go, do you want to, or do you want to see me stream it once and then tell me you'll watch it, but then disappear? And they go, ah, you got me. It's like the next level of that shit. So, all right. So I'm like, well, I'm not going to fucking start with the AFK journey. That's just seems like a bad idea at this point. We can, can intersperse that so my okay Olympus company a lot of people Way into that game and you can tell how into people that game are because when I posted it

I had like people just appear out of fucking nowhere to be like listen, man You got to watch this 20-minute video tutorial on how to play the game. Yeah, and just, listen, man, you got to watch this 20 minute video tutorial on how to play the game. Yeah. And just like, Hey, man, I'm gonna I'm gonna Monster Hunter Sherpa you through this limbus company. I'm like, I'm not gonna do that. Because I'm of the opinion that if a game is free to play, that it has to beat the impetus of me downloading it in the first place, which is, ooh, pretty picture. Yep. And then it is up to its onboarding process to sell me. Yes.

Normally, trailers, previews, demo, etc. would be the part to sell me on a purchase. So, case in point, Nikkei, I saw Gene posted a video of it. Yeah. And, like, asses were jiggling. The live-action one? No, it was just gameplay. Asses were jiggling. All over action one? No, it was just gameplay. Asses were jiggling. All over the place.

But gameplay was also happening. Yeah. And I was like, that looks like cool cover shooting. Yeah, okay, yeah. I'll tell you. I'm gonna download. Yeah. It sold me on its actual thing, yeah. So, I start up Limbus Company.

And that is a strange, strange fucking game. So it's a Korean game. What is the genre? I don't know. I fucking couldn't tell you. So I start it and a bunch of things start to happen all at once. First of all, for the entirety of the game's tutorial, on every screen there's a fucking button in the top right corner of the screen that says skip.

And it's not skip the current shot scene, it's not skip the fucking sentence that's on screen, it's do you want to skip the entire onboarding process. Oh. And... Okay. And I'm like, people are like, just skip it to get to the good part. I'm like, I don't know what the fucking good part is. I'm not gonna hit that.

The second thing that you notice is that the author of the story is a literature nerd. And it's like, hey, I read Dante's Inferno and Don Quixote, so I'm gonna put characters named after Dante's Inferno and Don Quixote into my game right and the third thing is that the whoever translated it did a bad job and I saw Pete I have a very strong opinion that the at the very least the initial translation is very poor and I had a little bit of back and forth of people saying like I don't understand why you're saying it's poor I can understand what everyone was saying and It's technically

intelligible like meaning it does get across But not a single person in the entire game talks like a human being would ever speak to another human being in English It is all very strange stilted bizarre dialogue Is it is it masturbatory? It's too in love with its own words. Oh my god, is it? Type of thing. So you'll get the team of losers that you're going to be using as your units, because it's

like a weird JRPG, kind of like a JRPG fighter, I guess. You're selecting units and you're selecting all their actions. Sure. And they're like, here's the cast. And then you just sit there and like the fucking casts, it introduces themselves to you like one by one by one by one by one. And they'll give you the blurb and then you see a fucking full page like fancy font explaining the character and explaining what their personality is and explaining how you should handle them. And I'm like, is there a mechanic in the game where you actually manage these characters?

No, there is not. That is purely flavor. Okay. And they just tell you all of themselves in a row, and then they force you to pull and you discover that the entire game's gacha system is to get different versions of these characters that I don't like. Okay. entire game's gacha system is to get different versions of these characters that I don't like, okay, and then they force you into multiple battles that use like an alpha version of the game's combat engine which is totally

inscrutable and does not have the full set of in-game animations. Like it feels like you are playing a prototype of its own game as the tutorial. What? Okay, okay. Um, is this because the full version is gonna have like all more mechanics and shit involved? Oh yeah, like the whole game is based on like your selected, like you're dragging a selection wheel from left to right. I mean, I want this guy to do this action and then a down for this action. I want to match the colors and all that. But then there's a coin flip service, coin flip mechanic. Okay, that isn't in the fucking tutorial, but it's like the game's main mechanic. And the tutorial dialogue is

translated by like a Weirdo that I don't understand like I got through two point ease something hours. Okay, and went I don't understand a single thing about this the story is written and Translated like it's translated poorly It's there's no desire for me to ever roll on this the combat either seems Insanely complex or automated one or the other I can't tell which one it is It is like one of the worst first impressions I have ever had for any game and it's a game that is like living and dying off its first impression to get me To keep playing

Yeah, like you have to kind of fall in love with either the gameplay system or the characters to bother putting Cuz that's all there is that's all that's happening. Yeah, it's one or the other right and like I had this moment where I'm like, okay Here's your mandatory gacha roll, which is part of the onboarding for all these That's like you got the ninja version of the red. And I'm like, I don't like her. I dislike her. Great. That's super. And I actually got to see, like when I switched that character's archetype

from one to the other, I'm like, oh wow. Every year they updated the, every new version of a character has better animations than the last one. But then they never went back to change any of the older ones. So like the start of the game is like by far the shittiest ugliest part. And it's crazy. It's it's it's crazy. And I was like this is one of the worst on-boarding I've ever played.

It's crazy. And I was like, this is one of the worst onboarding I've ever played. But I know that there's something there because the freakazoids in my chat and in my Discord messages and my Twitter DMs that were like, I love this game so much. It's my favorite game. Get past this point. They're like, yeah, no, that part is terrible. It's not, it's not fair for you to shit all over it, but it is really good later though.

And I'm like, I believe that. I'm just kind of shocked that they never went back and cleaned that up. If I was hitting the point of mental check out on the onboarding, I would definitely just skip to see what the full thing looked like, to just be like, what is it that's grabbing people? Yeah. You know?

The problem there is that when you look at Limba's company, it is incomprehensible. You're selecting, you're doing like bejeweled match three, but it's all different attacks and there's coins flipping and the coin values are playing against each other. And like I said, it's either completely automated or it's insanely complex. And I think the answer is that it is both. There's puzzle games happening inside of the RPG. It might be both. Okay. I don't know.

Yeah. I'll take that opportunity to also say that with automated combat and the auto button, I have heard loud and clear... Oh, we'll get there. We'll get there. We'll get there. We'll get to the goon button. Yes.

We will get there. Yes. The automated, the automatic play button is in every gacha game. Every single one. And it's to help you get through it without playing it. Every single one. When it's too monotonous. It's not about the goon button. It might be. It's a no. It's to help you get through it without playing it. Every single one. When it's too monotonous. It's not about the goon button.

It might be. It's a no. It's no. Does Wooly know it's not about the goon button? He might know it. It is about the, I need to get my results, but I don't actually want to play this game. That sounds like gooning to me. Oh, mental gooning.

Yeah, mental gooning. Mental gooning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yes, yes, yes,. Yes yes yes yes got it yeah yeah yeah. So um alright got it. So my okay Limbus company you had your shot I gave you way longer than I thought I was gonna give you. So let's move on to AFK Journey a game that people shit on right before I started. Alright let's load it up. Wow really pretty graphics. And it has a fucking Jojo tie-in this week. It does so just this week like I so we're talking cuz uh

Nikkei has the fucking Titanfall that just dropped it in and it makes perfect. You've seen that shit is again yeah, and then I was like what the fuck is this thing and they just showed off a path to nowhere Cross Jojo's Bizarre Adventure, Stone Ocean thing. So Jolyne, Weather Report, and FF are gonna be inside of... Which one is this? Path to Nowhere. Okay.

So, there is a mobile game tie-in that has JoJo shit going down. Well, there you go. And it's like, get in, loser. Yeah, but then you look at the gameplay, and it's a fucking grid with- Yeah, I will say, Limbus Company definitely exemplifies, like, it's a visual novel that happens to have a game in it, because the visual novel parts, like, I'm not big on the style, but it's very competently pretty-looking, Korean-style drawn visual novel parts, I'm not big on the style, but it's very competently pretty looking Korean style drawn visual novel.

Then you get into the gameplay and it looks like a fucking sub-ground DS game. The characters have singular frames of animation. You're like, oh my fucking God, Jesus Lord. That made a really big difference when I load up AFK Journey, because AFK Journey, very beautiful, very beautiful game, really stylish, good animations. And then we start, and this is when I immediately start to give Limbus Company some props. And it's some props that I didn't think a game could get.

So I load up AFK Journey and the AFK Journey throws you into fucking game so fast that I'm like can I please full screen this? No, fuck off Because they just took the fucking phone app and fucking direct ported it on your PC So the options menu is inside the in-game settings After the game's intro and tutorial and it's stuck with the rest of the yeah yeah so I decided listen if games are gonna fucking do this to me I could use display capture and like cut it out all night but no fuck it I'm gonna show it inside an ugly boarders yeah yeah yeah and I play afk journey and I'm like I'm a wizard and I'm gonna do all this shit and I'm like what do I do okay I move from here to here, I got an item and a screen showed up and said I leveled up

And I did a fight and then I clicked on the guy and then it completely auto battled for me There's absolutely no version of any in control anything at all And then a fancy cutscene started playing and I got about 10 minutes in and like this is a completely fake video game So it's sound the name of it makes me think that someone went. Hey remember progress quest. Yes What if we actually got you that yeah? Progress quest had shit going on in it though compared to this You didn't choose anything, but whatever but the gimmick ran like afk journey is a completely Fake video game it is it is it?

You might as well be watching flashing lights and going and clapping for pretty colors. Okay, it is crazy Okay, it is it is the fake is fucking shit and the fact that I'm sitting there going like wow, you know being able to Choose my in-game options before the game started Wow, Olympus company didn't think I was gonna give you props for that Right, but I am good for you Wow, amazing. So I remember Progress Quest and I enjoyed Progress Quest because it ran in the background while I was at work. See, that's nice.

And then I would check in on it every once in a while and be like, oh, what the fuck's going on over here? Oh, that's fun. Yeah. I did this and I collected that, that's okay, cool. And then you just ignore it. For anyone who doesn't know, Progress Quest is literally, it's a fake game that just plays itself,

and then as a bar goes up, you level up and things start happening, but it's just a joke. And then that got taken seriously and turned into this. Yeah. Yeah, there's nothing. I don't think I played it for longer than 10 minutes. Oh wow, okay. It was like completely fake.

Okay. And I'm like, speaking of fake, let's go onto Nikkei. Let's fucking go. Okay. So I hit up Nik let's go onto Nikkei. Let's fucking go. Okay. So I hit up Nikkei, and Nikkei again doesn't... On the PC client, it's like, no, you can't choose your resolution. You can't full screen this. But if you did, it would be just a vertical strip, right? No, because the in-game actually fits the widescreen.

You can play horizontally? But only on the PC client. Oh. Right? So it's like, okay, well, okay, I'm playing this game in a fucking window, a small-ass window and it looks stupid, but okay, let's go. And yeah, that game's got a bunch of fat asses and tits all over it. It sure does. It sure does.

But it's actually a cover shooter. But like, more than that. fat asses and tits all over it. It sure does. It sure does. But it's actually a cover shooter. But like more than more than that, like even before moving on from that, like they have that like I don't know what's called like soft 3D or some shit like live 2D live 2D. Yeah. And it's like I'm looking at Marion

with her hat, right? Mm hmm. And I like you would normally be like, oh, they're jiggling or they're like undulating, but they're not. They're fucking flopping. Like these women are flopping their shit around and they don't look human. Because they're not.

It's it's yeah. But but like, yeah, you know, the fucking like, And they don't look human. Cause they're not. They're new kids. Yeah, but like, you know the fucking, like, how'd somebody describe it? Like artists who has only drawn pre-com trying to draw sweat? Like nothing about these characters looks close to how any human being would like physically function at all. Like to the point where it's it's it almost becomes non-sexual in its like extremity. Every character does feel like they're inside of a glass tube filled with liquid. Yeah, absolutely.

And because hair and gravity are just not applying. Like they're just fucking floating. They're floating. In a fucking, do you want your sex tube? Yeah, they're floating in a tube, 100%. And then the story starts to actually fucking do things. And I'm like, what the fuck is this? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I'm playing it, I'm like, it's a fairly simple cover shooter But like things are happening and I am hitting buttons and I am playing the game And the PC client is not the one to play This is the phone game built for your fucking telephone like yeah The everything other than a vertical screen is obviously dumb shit and things are okay like it's okay i got so got to the end of the tutorial and i was like okay i see what you're doing here you know like it's like this it felt there's stuff here there's stuff going on yes and the thing is is that like between that between the no battery thing cuz like that's that's really nice

So instead it has a vicious difficulty wall, right? So what happened was I did a mission where it's like an EX mission popped up over here And I was like, ooh, let's walk back and see what that is. Yeah, and it's like go fuck yourself You're nowhere near strong enough. Um But like and the music's really good. The music is really good It's like and like when a boss fight sequence occurs and it's a big like cinematic fight It's like oh shit like we're cover shooting again like fighting a big train, you know and it's like everything is like really like it's like yeah, no, this is this looks good and

The actual system of like yeah paying attention to what you're targeting thinking about how long it takes for this type of weapon to fire Reload and whose super is building up. Switch over to the sniper that can go to the distance and shoot that thing that's way back there before it anything gets close. Yeah, absolutely. That's a lot of fun, you know? Just slow down depending on who's super. And like, oh, they decided to make a phone game and they decided to make like a good,

the best cover shooter they could make for a telephone and Then because everyone on this team is a fucking filthy degenerate decided to just Just fucking get the big Fucking silicone syringe and just start pumping and what killed me is I'm halfway through playing the section of our playing Nikkei and I'm like, oh my god this Somebody mentioned stellar blade. Yeah, and I'm like, ah, haha. I like that's the same people. Yeah Yeah, of course, it's the same people making stellar blade but the Again, the shiniest the shiniestest booty. But the fact that this is a, it's a cover shooter that is like something I would play regardless of the filter dropped over this.

Regardless of the gacha elements or whatever, I would be interested in playing this game that works this way. Is like, that's how you get me to pay attention to something. But also I'm not going to lie and say that they're like oh gross No, you but like I said when I see the character designs that I'm like appeal to me They're the big full suit armor and helmets and shit and then this week. They're like, by the way, here's a Titan Apparently that's coming out this week. Yeah, they just advertise it. Yeah, and that's like that's like a cum hee-hoon style like robot that Yeah, and that's like that's like a cum hee-hoon style like robot that You it's like it's an actual robot that's shooting and jiggling Yeah, the fight is happening and then like a cute girl pops out every once in a while times, you know

So I think I had like the ultimate possible. Oh, that's a rope. That's a fucking robot. It's a robot. Exactly It's just a fat robot. Yeah, that thing looks cool. It looks cool. That's it Um, you get my attention. I think I might have had like the absolute best experience Like the most honest getcha fucking experience conceivable where I beat the tutorial like I fucking beat the tutorial great And then I'm like now I'm gonna go to the options and they let me choose every option possible Except for the one that changes my screen size. So I still trapped in a fucking window. I can't even do anything okay, and then I'm like okay. Here's my gacha roll I'm gonna roll it. Oh cool I got a character and they look over the little box on my second monitor where Chad is like how is my character good that?

Character shit you should reroll you should make a new account And I'm like you know what I think I'm done for Nikkei today I think I think I think immediately having to oh terrible Start over. Oh Good Now I've got people in my chats teaching me how to salt my email. I don't know what that fucking means I have no idea you're all sick and I'm also not I'm too low level to do a bunch of shit apparently but one thing I

did learn is the unviable garbage tier shit grunts that I love yeah you can just spend the stupid upgrade gems to make them strong enough, do the main mission. I also found out that some of the SSR SSR Nikkei's yeah Are so bad that the generics are better. Okay. Well, there you go. Yeah, so no, that's it I'm kind of like I will run a bunch of low-level grunts and then just juice them so that they can handle the missions and we're fine So yes, that's the one with actual games shocked. Yeah, I was shocked Yeah, cuz like it's easy to discount it because it's it's just

Aggressively flopping at you. You have to lift a titty to get to the game Menus something Something happening and it's not my fucking dick Go, you know and like like no when you open up the ass crack and look beyond the valley There's a there's a story thing happening. Okay. You know there was a story beat at the end of that tutorial that was pretty solid so I Was like wow Nikkei wow I'm shocked. I'm shocked. I had such a good time with that, but then I'm like You know what I should we're gonna play next we're gonna play the one that I'm really interested in the one that looks like a Devil May Cry game the one called Punishing Grey Raven. Punishing Grey Raven.

The one that's a fucking character action game. Okay you know what hold up I have to run to the bathroom. You know what me too. Okay let's do that real quick. We'll take turns though. BRB. Alright what the fuck were we talking about? The next game. Punishing Grey Raven. P.G.R. So, good name for a character action game. Cool name. Yeah. And I look at it, I'm like, so, it's that thing where, you know...

Hey man, you gotta get into Monster Hunter. Oh really? What's Monster Hunter about? So nobody sends you, here's the first two fights in Monster Hunter. They send you, hey, you're going up against T-Grex or some shit, and they show you doing all sorts of cool Monster Hunter shit. So Punishing Grey Raven is like that. Like, hey man, what's Punishing Grey Raven like? It's like, let me show you this shit, and it's EX2 super common rider, but like- And it's not the fucking Great Jagras. No, no.

Crawling through the forest going, bah! It's just a million moves a second,, you're like, there's a fucking game here. And then you start punishing Gray Raven, and hey, look at that! Stuck in a window. Again. Again. Aw yeah, here we go.

So I take it that the highest priority is not people in your situation trying to play this on your desktop client. Oh yeah, the PC clients are like absolute afterthoughts. Like and so this is one of those things like miHoYo and like Genshin and Star Rail and incoming Zenless Zone Zero and Honkai, Third Impact. It's like I was not aware of one of the reasons why Genshin blew up so big is that it has a functional, regular PC client that works like a PC game.

Okay, okay. It has controller support that is normal. And consoles too, right? Yeah, and consoles. And you can just load your account on it. Yeah, absolutely. So yeah, there you go. And so like, oh, it works like a fucking video game.

So I load in Punishing Gray Raven. Yep. And it's like, fucking video game. So I load in punishing gray raven. Yeah, and it's a visual novel You know the I don't I can't remember a single detail about any of the startup because it just reads like anime bullshit Am I okay though? I'm I'm playing a character. I'm moving around Wast okay, that's great. It has controller controller support so I'm gonna go to the options. I can't go to the options. Okay so controller support will wait for later. Alright that's

fine. So I'm WASD. Let's move forward and what's the attack button? You wanna fuck? Don't look at that chat chat what's the attack button for swipe up oh no you stupid bitch it's Jay on the keyboard because the PC controls that you can't change for the entire intro sequence are assuming you're touch typing like an old man. Oh, okay. So J is attack. Okay. And K is dodge. JKL, JKL colon.

And colon is, and it's just like. Yeah. Fuck. Okay, that's old. Okay, and you play. Okay, it's cool! And you play it. Joy to key? Could you, I mean...

You could, but it has controller support. It has controller support. It has official controller support, right. It does! And so like, okay, well I'll get through the tutorial, and it's like, this tutorial is very, very old and much so Much like all Many of these other ones. It's like

There is a chasm of quality between the first things they made and the things they are making now, right? So the character that you start with Has like two buttons and that's it So the character that you start with has like two buttons and that's it. It's like an auto combo and it's like a special. And it shows up on the screen and goes, hey, here's a match three button mechanic that I can't intuit that's clearly made for phones. You just hit that button and you'll do like a stinger. And it's not clear why that happens. Okay, or what shows up or why it's three ping orbs three ping orbs

Okay, someone. Oh, okay and then I Get into like a boss fight and it's like I've kind of acclimated to my controls and my okay I'm having a boss fight, like this is a real boss fight. And I lose, because you lose, and it goes into more nonsensical anime cutscenes and then I'm like, oh cool, I've made it to the main menu. I've made it to like a real main menu. Alright, let me full screen this. Oh, I can't. Okay, that's great. I can get my controller working though.

Oh, cool. Oh, the controller support is really bad. Let me guess. It doesn't apply to menus only to gameplay. It does apply to some menus, but you should probably still use your your your your fucking mouse to do that yeah but more than that it's like hey man here's the that the the the buttons are just willy-nilly all over the place as to what is what is hey you've done a lot of compliance yeah so this shit doesn't give a fuck about compliance if you were to say on a Japanese or Korean video game with a PlayStation controller, what would be back out of a menu? I mean B. Yeah. Or circle, right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All

right. What do you think would be except X? Would you actually try that again and say, write on the D-pad? OK. So with some games, when you just install a library for generic controller support, and then you never look at it a second time, what they'll do is they'll go button and D-pad inputs. They'll just go button 1 through 9 or 14, and then D-pad inputs. And they'll just drop them in chronological order

Regardless of how they actually map and go we got control. Yeah, it's fine, right So hey, you can totally mix and match your controls and that's fine But it's like hey, you know what's gonna be your controls is gonna be L1 and r1 Okay, r2 and then all of your ping orbs are on the fucking face buttons And I don't understand that shit at all. It's an action game, right? Yeah, sure is! You're like, yeah.

And then I'm talking to people afterwards like, so how long am I trapped with that character that plays like shit? And they're like eight chapters And I'm like, oh this fucking sucks dude, I can now see With absolute certainty apologies my little man is having trouble downstairs. He hates it too. He also sounds like eight chapters Like mihoyo Having games that look like normal fucking games is a look like normal fucking games is a massive step up. Right, right, right. Massive, like, it is like, like Atari to the Super Nintendo.

It is crazy. Just tap it in, just show up and work, and work on multiple platforms. It is astonishing. Okay. It is now like a no shit no brainer. Okay, but think about the PAL world devs being like, we're making too much money, we don't know what to do.

Yeah, absolutely. Well, that's what happened to miHoYo. Okay. Because they made these kinds of ghetto ass bullshit loser phone games, and they made enough of that that Honkai shows up. And Honkai's like a real game, but Honkai's fucked up when you start too. And then they made Genshin and they're like, hey, here's a real video game. Because there's a studio and there's like, whatever, like 40 people and 38 of them are just like, yo guys, check out these titties. And everyone's like, yo, and then there's one idiot in the corner

that's taking care of the desktop shit and dealing with the controller or whatever. And everyone else is just like, we play it on our phones and we draw the titties, what the fuck you want? So it is not a priority. And you're the edge case user that is like, I would like this to work in this thing that you say officially supports, the game supports,

but it is not a priority. And furthermore, you're not wailing on the PC client. No. So why does your opinion matter? I want to try this out and see what's going on, right? And so like my takeaway is that the game that I initially and overtly respected the least by far, which was Nikkei.

I walked away going like, yeah, the PC client's a little rough, but it's obviously for phones. But like, they're like cooking something here. Like there's something here. Like, yeah, we're flopping. And it's like, okay, I can do that. But also there's shit here.

By virtue of comparison. And like, I never, can do I can do that but also there's there's shit here by virtue of comparison and like I never Never thought yeah, and it's it's this weird thing of it's because because like these are Chinese Japanese Korean games, right? And they are being developed like Sequentially. Yeah, like here's the first level and that's what the game comes out with. And then we're going to build the second level, right? We'll come back around. And as a result, they are built the opposite of almost every game anyone listening to this ever plays because all of those games had their their first levels built last because the first level is the most important level and had the most polish and had the most work put into it. And so people have been describing it in chat right now as the A Realm Reborn problem. Okay.

A Realm Reborn is still like a regular fucking video game, but it's a little weak here and it's old here. And people say, well, you got to get through A Realm Reborn to get to that good stuff, right? But with punishing Grey Raven and with Limbus company, it's a fucking chasm between what I'm going to assume is an eight or nine out of ten and like a two? Right. And it's huge. Because it's like it's not like the phone game is being built with the the same type of vertical slice your AAA is being built with. And yeah and yeah, and I guess, too, like as the money comes in,

then they can afford to make the whole thing as pretty and as gorgeous as possible, but you don't actually go back. Because does anyone ever, are there any games that do go backwards after the success and spend the money on the old shit? Honkai Third Impact by miHoYo went back and cleaned up the very beginning of the game, but they didn't clean up The second and third parts of the game, okay And they just said part two they just put out part two which is hey fuckheads new storyline start here

Like you don't need to do that even bother. Here's the new shit. Okay, just start here new Like you don't need to do that shit. Here's the new shit. Just start here. But you still have to go through some of the ancient shit to get there. So you're ping-ponging over what got made when and the whole fucking thing and it's super weird. I mean, you know, even vampire survivors went and said, hey, we drew new sprites. You know what I mean with their success? Yeah, the closest I can come up with, I saw somebody say it in chat, the closest analog is Warframe.

Warframe got built like these types of games and Warframe has had multiple different openings over the years. And it's always this weird thing where you're like, wow, they remade the first part and maybe the second part, but then you slam into the third part, which is eight years old, and you're just like, what? Why? And all of them have massive things in common.

Wow, there's a lot of currencies. Wow, there's a lot of currencies Wow, there's a lot of currency That video of overwatch 2 So I like I like is this is the overwatch Joe has six currencies now is this a real thing like so it's backing out to the client to reveal a secret new currency so it's it's it's this wild thing that all the free-to-play games have which is like listen you know how sometimes Tekken will obfuscate how many Tekken

points are a dollar yeah well the free-to-play game which lives and dies off tricking people into pumping the money in, is gonna go, Listen, here's ten fucking currencies. Good luck. Good fucking luck figuring out how money turns into these things. Right? And that's when Genshin and Honkai get super weird, because when I'm upgrading a character in Star Rail and it goes you need 30 Baphmodads, I click on it and it goes here's where you're gonna earn that and it teleports me to the location and if you're gonna do that why can't I just have one upgrade material? It's much better and much more useful. So this is what came up when I was playing Mega Man cross dive offline.

Yeah. Right. Which was just like, okay, so the seasonal release characters have these event tokens, but the specific type of event token that you need to unlock Dante and Virgil versions of Mega Man and Zero is some other unexplained thing with no tutorial for it, but it's just an icon you stare at and it says, you don't have this. Fuck you. Yeah. thing with no tutorial for it, but it's just an icon you stare at and it says you don't have this fuck you Yeah, you know and it's like the like the level of obfuscation for just like tricking people into Spending their money and not knowing like that happened for currencies ago. Yeah

Yeah, you know, what's the point of getting to six at that? Like I don't I don't so there's a secondary problem for that And it's a game design problem And that is when you put out the new character And it's a game design problem. And that is, when you put out the new character, you kind of don't want people to have saved up four years of currency to just instantly red line the character right off the gate. Yeah, okay, okay.

So like, I was playing Star Rail, and I got the banner character Acheron, and her upgrade materials require like a mid-game quest. And it's like, so that you're somewhat unlikely to have just brutalized your way with a million resources saved up. However, and here's where it's really strange, that's the idea but then part of the anniversary event that Akron comes out during is yeah you can teleport to areas that have the upgrade materials from

the end of the game now. And you can just skip that part and upgrade these characters now. What the? Why are you? You're like you're causing a problem and then you're handing a really easy solution to it right away. And but also like if people save up and have the ability to afford the thing and okay I guess cuz it's like something new drops and it's like Don't don't have someone that has saved up a bunch of in-game currency Let them get it right away being but you can't spend real cash to just grab that right away I'm not necessarily really not you can't just buy your way out of all time

No Interesting, I would have assumed that would be like the impatience dollar. No. No. No, no, no, no. Was in the high valuation. You would think. Huh. But like that would probably lead to people just spending X amount of dollars and doing

everything instantaneously and then putting the game down. And then stop playing the game. Right, right. You got to save people from themselves. Kind of. To some degree. Yeah. So now we're back to, we're back in my mind to Niki,

and we're back to the Goon button. And I think the Goon button, or the autoplay button, is actually really vital for these types of games. And for Niki, what's way more interesting than the Goon button is the super animations and when they play. So the super animations when you activate a super in Ike, play. And the next time you activate them, they don't. And I couldn't figure out why sometimes they activated and sometimes they didn't. They activate once a day, like every 24 hours. Is that what that is? That is what that is.

They activate once a day so that you see it and you go, ah, But then the next time you're not sitting around waiting for it. Yeah, you can turn that off You can make it play every time or never. Yeah I think right now for me just it plays each time because going through it It was like Bert do first second third first, you know, but in and I would see and it's like listen The cool animations are cool, but maybe you don't want to see them every day In fact when you're doing your daily You would want to see them once and Part of the thing is that like so I'm playing Star Rail

When I play Star Rail, and I'm not like sitting down to play it like a game And I'm like gonna. I'm gonna do the story. I'm gonna do side quests or whatever um I spend like six minutes Banging out those dailies and the thing is is that I have built a team that can do those dailies Instantaneously, okay, they're so over tuned For those things that actually hitting the buttons would be a massive waste of time So it makes a lot more sense to everyone who played Final Fantasy 12 Okay, because if you've kidded out your Gambit system FF12 gang strong enough, playing the game is a waste of time.

Until... So I was auto battling through some of the content because like, oh, you know, I built my team correctly. I know what I'm doing. And then I got to, and Star Rail players would know this, I got to the emanation what's it called the emanator of propagation boss fight which I hit auto battle in and it wiped me in like a

Minute okay, like just stomped my whole ass and then I had to spend like the better part of like three hours Not just actually fighting it and figuring out what I had to target when But like I had to rebuild my fucking team reconfiguring it because the team I had made Sucked for that boss fight, huh? So I when I was what what I thought was useful was the fact that auto battle was broken up into like shooting and supers Yeah, because the supers popping up was like, I got the tutorial on how to use that. But I'm like, I can't focus on that right now,

because I'm still getting used to everything about the system. So I put the supers to auto while learning the rest of it. But the idea of some of those fights would go by so quickly are those stages where the boss shows up and you kill it right away and it blows up. Where I was like, am I playing incorrectly by killing the boss too quickly no

That's a reward for doing it correctly. I guess so yeah, that's where I was like Oh, maybe I'm supposed to stall out and you know you built your shit correctly, okay? like if you've built like cuz there's the two game plays for like a huge variety of these there's Like honkai star has an RPG that has two buttons it has attack as special attack. And then when you have your meter, it has ultimate. And half of the fight against a tough boss fight is one way heal, one way attack, one way get skill points, blah, blah, blah.

But the other half is building that team to synergize with each other. So I can dig that if it's handled in a unicornicorn Overlord type way, where I feel like I put the football. There's a lot of moving parts in Unicorn Overlord. Play together to create that thing. Even if it's like there's an optimized strategy for how to pair up archers with the right class and do the thing. But like if I'm playing the game and it's like it's doing the dailies and I didn't have

to do much and you click it and it plays itself itself. I kind of go why am I doing this? Well? How attracted are you to that four and a half foot tall Chinese twink? Yeah Yeah, which is more accurate if you're playing Genshin than Star Rail I Play I play the video game to play the video game. Yeah. You know, and like if I need to goon, I can go goon. You can goon over there. You can goon over there.

You can goon over here. There's a goon corner. There's a couple, you know, you can do whatever you need to. Anyway, so it's just, it's yeah, when you're, no, nothing wrong with mixing business and pleasure, but there's a point where, yeah, I did not play FF12 and, and see the, the fully optimized way of, of going about it.

That game is crazy. The way that gambit system works is nuts. I understand both why I hated it when I first encountered it and why I loved it when I went back to it a couple years later. Because the idea of like, yeah, I taught my team to solve problems without any input from me is hilarious. As long as the first domino can be something you know what I mean like I'm doing it though I guess is what it is. Well what's really funny is that the banner character for Starrail right now her special field ability is to delete enemies off the field without a fight

Like Ryuji and persona. Oh, wow. Okay, like on the field Yeah so she becomes like the best character for like running the the weekly rogue like challenge because you can just skip 80% of the fights. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm I suppose at the same time too like if you are not changing what you're doing at all in the fight, depending on if it's a system RPG-ish where you're running to the fight, do a fucking Luminaire, everything's dead, fight's over, then there is a...

Yeah, I remember that part of Chrono Trigger, that 80th to 90% mark when Chrono's got the highest speed, he's going cast Luminaire and if anything's still alive, Magus is gonna cast like Dark Triangle or some shit? Yeah, Dark Triangle. Yeah. And that's the fight. That's how we're gonna go through every single encounter in this entire dungeon in Zeal. So no, I get that there's a repetition to that as well, but yeah, I guess it just like, it just, there's a lot of scenarios where I can imagine

myself just feeling like if I'm just here staring at the things going and then clicking the reward button and like you're just trying to show me the dopamine back to back, like it's not going to work. So part of that process that miHoYo has really launched into is that beautiful graphics really matter for this type of genre. Because like, okay, let's say I got my phone in my hand, right? I have gone to take a shit and gone, well I might as well do my dailies. Okay. So I hit, okay, hit the button, the train goes, five seconds later, hit the button. Okay, I want to do this daily, bam.

Auto-play. Now I'm shitting and I'm just looking at a bunch of flashing Chinese anime lights and pretty colors. And then it gives me numbers. And I'm done before I've finished taking a shit. And I go, thank you for pretty numbers. Yeah. Even when I was-

Dopamine. When I was playing Teppan a bunch, it would be like, I wouldn't think, oh, let me do my dailies. I'd think I have a time for a match. Yeah. And I'd queue up and play ranked and I'd do one ranked match against somebody.

And you'd be, you have to stay engaged on what's going on there. Even if I'm like, even if I'm like even if I'm even if I'm like like like You know listening to something else or checked out or doing whatever there was still a level of like oh, I what's the counter here? What do I got to do? There's minimum brain activity kind of required there So the fun thing about that is that for star real anyway? Like if I want to do like Conley's never really sorry Willie is never really MMO'd huh?

It's it. Oh definitely not it. It did not it doesn't grab me. It just doesn't work Yeah, if it did I probably would have you know I've tried and like I said for me It was graal and fucking Ragnarok online. Yeah Just just wait till you're a little older and Just about ten years from now. You know you'll just you'll start to slow down and you'll get into competitive video game square dancing which is what the MMO turns into at some point someone's gonna make a stupid MMO fighter and yeah it's called project fuck what's what's one is it rumble verse no the fucking League one

okay but but but but actually MMO you know what I mean like it'll like someone will they're making an MMO to XKO I mean no like the riot is making an MMO right now it's one of their hidden projects oh yeah yeah okay but I mean they'll make the one where it'll be all the shit and all the words. It'll it'll have it'll have frame advantage and D.K.P. It'll have it'll have both of those things. Yeah. And Dungeon Fighter does exist, like I was saying. But when I actually want to sit down and play Star

Rail and do like content like like real video game RPG shit, I have to have at least half hour 45 minutes because the side quests are like Real yeah, and the story content is cutscene heavy and dialogue heavy and It's it's like there's there's this cat. There's this wild There was like a bang out my days whatever to get get my points get my get my upgrade monies or whatever the fuck Yeah, and then it's like, okay my upgrade monies or whatever the fuck.

And then it's like, okay, well I have some time, or I'm going to bed early and I have some time to go, yeah, let's fucking find out what Ron May is doing with her fucking anti-life equation in the fucking basement. So in conclusion, Nikkei and Voyoverse. Peak. Absolutely. Peak gaming. Just beyond the shadow of a doubt.

Yeah. It's called Peak. The folder is called Peak. What is in here? Downwell, chest, icy dungeon, slave spire, and super hexagon. Super fucking hexagon. Super hexagon. Yeah, that never changes.

That is timeless. Does it still boot? Oh yeah! Yeah it does. It was fucked up for a while, but then they fixed it There's a couple of games where I'm like, ah, man, it doesn't boot anymore. I would throw pin out in there Did you did you get it? Pin out is the pinball game. That's like basically like Tron visuals and shit Okay but you're knocking a pinball up through a long ongoing pinball stage. And like you have to you have to shoot it through the ceiling and then multiple layers of story of not story but level progression. As you shoot your pinball fucking company

that makes pinout is called mediocre. I hilarious. It's incredible. And a banger ass soundtrack, unbelievably good soundtrack as well. If you like the music of Sayonara Wild Hearts style, then Pinout is for you. So while we were talking about this, the Zenless Zone Zero release date got leaked by Apple. It's in July. Oh, did we did not have one until they did not have one. OK, they're doing that thing where they're running betas, but they won't tell anyone when the game is coming out But people are figuring out well it has to be here Has to be after this because the Honkai star rail anniversary

And you can't steal any thunder away from that it has to be before this because that's the Genshin Impact Anniversary event right so it looks like it's gonna be in July. Oh my god It has to be before this, because that's the Genshin Impact anniversary event. Right. So it looks like it's going to be in July. Oh my god, we're paying attention to phone release schedules now. Hell yeah. Oh my god. There's a fucking asshole with a pompadour and a pile bunker in Zenless Zone Zero.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. in Zenless Zone Zero. You have to click past the fucking cheerleader outfit for Nikkei to get back to the soldiers team. Yeah. All right. All right. So that's pretty much what I did. So traveled with baby, love baby, saw parents, came down here, saw you, hello. Hello.

Phone games. Ballot Tro for a phone needs to drop and just cleanse the earth. I may have done something- Just cleanse the earth. Irresponsible when I was visiting my parents. No. Because- Because Paige asked my nephew, hey, do you have Steam?

He's like, yeah, I got steam. And we're like, what kind of games are you into? And he's like this. I'm like, oh, you know what you'd like? Bellaccia. And then my sister wrote it down. And she's like, yeah, we could check this out. And I'm like, that might have been a fucking mistake.

Synapses firing. That kid is 12. Yeah, yeah. The exact thing you're concerned about. have been like a fucking mistake. Synapses firing. That kid is 12. Yep. Yep. The exact thing you're concerned about. Like it's just that that can grab you nice and early, man. That's my sister's problem.

That's, you know. Okay. But like I was talking to Reggie about this. I'm like, at the very least, real life gambling doesn't have jokers that are going to save you from your debt when the shark is coming to break your fucking ankles. The joker's not gonna talk to you and be like, oh yeah, it looks like you fucking cashed out. Yeah, no, that is something you can actually recommend to non-game players and it might get its hooks in.

So if my dad had a computer that would run Bellatro, he's using like an old surface that barely boots, I would show my dad Bellatro because my dad's the kind of guy who played like Solitaire for fun, like for realsies and would just bang out a game of Solitaire or like Hearts against Microsoft in like five minutes. And again, there's nothing that pops up when the game is happening that would make a very serious blue-collar man go. What the fuck is this shit? Yeah You're looking at cards and then occasionally a little joke or talk some shit That's a serious that bilateral Android and iPhone port has to show up because that is

That's gonna be like problematic to workplace productivity when that happens. What stakes are you on? like problematic to workplace productivity when that happens. What stakes are you on? Stakes? Oh my God. So what I did is I beat everything on red stake before going up. Yeah, I horizontal. Yeah, I did that too. So I only did I only did the first the first one, but I got through all the cards. Some of them were much harder than I expected. I thought the red and black deck was going to be a cinch.

I thought it was going to be the easiest. Flushes aren't good enough now to carry you all the way to the end of the red and black deck was going to be a cinch. I thought it was going to be the easiest deck. Flushes aren't good enough to carry you all the way to the end of anti-eight. So once you start, so I did the full horizontal, yeah, like everything on red, and then I picked one and then just started going up. It was green, I think I picked.

Green or yellow, I forget. The one that gives you money for every leftover discard. That's green. Yeah, yeah. And you get to, I think, purple ante or so. It's the second to last or third to last from the top. And you're like, you get no money for the first blind on everything.

The stakes get higher faster. You get less discards. and the game changes and becomes something else entirely where your strategy for like, I go for flushes, I go for straights, I try to build a full house, whatever. You have no discards for strategy. You have to make the best of every hand you get, which means you have to upgrade all your things that you can get kind of evenly. Yeah, you can't just celestial your way down to three of a kind 10 times in a row.

And the whole game up to that point had been finding one winning busted combination of jokers and just blasting through it. Now you need to spread yourself. You have to play poker. You have to actually play poker. No, I want to play poker. Yeah, well, too bad fucking bad. I'm not playing Velatro to fucking play poker.

As you get higher up, you have to start diversifying your strategy and Doing doing what you can with what they give you you know I mean and if you get lucky enough to get extra discards that's great But like it changes and get so fucking hard when you lose discards, you know so like yeah, there's walls and like firmly stuck on that but We'll see that changes like there's some of the cards that I really liked, which was like, hey man, keep this card in your, this joker in your hand and get $2 for every discard you haven't used. You do that with green deck and you're getting like five bucks per fucking discard.

That shit just doesn't work anymore, I guess. Dude, there are jokers that get introduced on like, I think third or fourth blind where you cannot destroy or sell them. Oh, I don't like that. There's a mark that says this is a permanent joker. So every time you pick one, it's stuck forever. Even if it's some stupid bullshit. Bullshit, basic low level.

Like madness. You know? Yeah. Yeah. So okay, but here, but okay, but here's the thing. So madness, which is it eats a Joker every time. It doesn't eat locked Jokers that can't be destroyed. So you get the madness buff without actually losing

the Joker that has the little thing on it. So then you wanna get all unkillable Jokers. For that specific build, if you have the madness Joker, yes. Otherwise, you're fucked you know but on the plus side you get that multiplier on madness going up even if you don't have a Joker to feed it okay so oh oh oh yes oh you get it regardless okay so yeah and if you ever buy two jokers you might give it you still can still use one of them because it eats them one at a time. Yeah. All right. Over on my side, obviously

more balotro and a bunch of- That's going to just show up kind of every week and be like, balotro? Yeah. That can be the whole conversation. However, there has been the least amount of progress in the last week or so because again at the highest difficulties it's just like the fuck else you're gonna do here I have maybe like I have like maybe like ten jokers left to unlock and like most of all the other shit so I'm telling you right now mihoyo star rail and and Nikkei you your shit exists in my phone because balotro isn't there it's not there yet yeah like I mean now I'm playing them now but like if balotro had't there yet. It's not there yet. Yeah. Like I'm in now. I'm playing them now.

But like if Balotro had already been there when I got this fucking new phone, oh man. Yeah. And I'm kind of, I'm already preemptively feeling sadness too because like I'm close to unlocking everything in the game. And at the point that you do that, like I wonder if there will still be a cartichase. You could patch that to put more bullshit in. Oh, community shit or something? No.

Has that new patch come out? Because that new patch rebalanced tons of shit. Oh yeah, I don't know. But I know that, well, I guess new shit would be the thing. Yeah, we'll see. We can just start over. I watched for the first time this week Tremors. over. I watched, for the first time this week, Tremors. You watched Tremors for the first time?

I never watched Tremors. That shit's good. Yeah. The Kevin Bacon vehicle. I watched that, god, close to when it came out. I barely remember any of it at this point. So 1990 is what I found out, which is interesting, because it really is, it feels like the cusp of 90s movie and 80s movie.

Practical effects, rubber fucking graboids blowing up and juicing everywhere. But also just like Kevin Bacon is kind of everywhere, but there's just been a whole lot of Kevin Bacon I haven't really seen. So yeah, no, it just, it was one of these things that threw it on and went back to it. Such a simple thing that works because of like, it's a closed system, they're out in fucking butt fuck nowhere, like Perfection Nevada, you know, and- Shit hole nowhere. Yeah. And it's just fun to go back to this old movie where like, every punchline is corny as fuck and they're goofy. Like, you're watching essentially what, uh... What's his name?

Um... Norman Reedus vibes are exuding off of Kevin Bacon's character. The pre-reedists yes and Fred Ward exuding What becomes? John Baranthal yeah, actually so two walking dead isms. Yeah happening beforehand mind you that's weird He even kind of looks like him, too anyway, and then

Hey, guess what these effects still hold up Yeah, shit's rubber. Is Tremors 1 the one where they fucking come through the basement wall, and there's the wall of the guns? Yeah. Oh, man, that fucking scene is so good. Yeah. The prep.

It's, dude, like, OK. I don't know. I don't know if there's a TV tropes page for it, but there needs to be something for the preppers were right. Yeah. Right? Any time you can underline that in the script, the preppers were right. It's almost like scary movie ish of like absurd, like prepper.

Like, oh, what are we going to do against, you know, the killer? Oh, we have William Machine gun. But like, actually, like they introduced them as like, oh, yeah, we can't. They're like, oh, yeah, they're kind kind of nuts they're out there on their you know they got their bunker and they love their guns and they're like yeah we sure do and they're like we're gonna get some guns you guys probably need some anyone everyone okay yeah and they're holding them with them the whole time and then as you go back to their thing and they're just unloading on the grab boy

that comes through the wall and then like tossing and it's basically the The Clone Wars fucking with the soldier just Bang you know and like as they're just empty they're looking back at the wall and cleaning it off and the and that's not good enough Go get the fucking elephant guy go get it This giant stupid elephant gun with fist-sized bullets just, brrrrraaah! You know, um, yeah, that was great. And it would have been, it would have been like, super easy to have all that be totally ineffective and be like, wow, this monster's so scary, I can't, nah, fuck it. America.

You have a big enough gun? Yeah, it'll kill it. Yeah, patriotism is the real fucking gun... anyway, whatever. Patriotism is the real gun. Is the real gun, yes. That's the phrase. Yes. There's a thing that is particular to the open mouth slime and drool. It is 80 slime. There's a consistency and thickness that you don't get in, well certainly not in CG slime,

but even 90 slime. There's an 80s slime oh well that's a that's a really specific effects trick where shitty rubber looks like flesh if it's wet okay yeah yeah yeah it's not nickelodeon slime right yeah it's the kind that like can get stretched thin and create like a transparent sheet of itself with like a little bit of texture on it like The alien a like the alien Yes, would look so much worse if it wasn't wet and dripping alien goop absolute xeno goop brundle goop

Brundle goop is same kind as well And yeah that particular type of whatever that rest whatever that recipe is that they're mixing up. You recognize it right away. It's the Stan Winston shit. In full effect, that works. I guess there's seven of these fucking things. So there's like a, I don't remember what, but there's like a really hard line in the sand of These are the ones to watch. Yeah, these are the ones where they could convince a couple of the actors to come back

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, just enough. The last one was like 2019 or some shit, so it's still doing it There was also a pen a canceled TV show that never happened even though Kevin Bacon agreed to do it That seems like a really narrow There was also a canceled TV show that never happened even though Kevin Bacon agreed to do it. That seems like a really narrow concept for a television show. With the first one, it's like, yeah, who knows what the fucking thing, what they are or where they come from or what's going on? Doesn't matter.

They're here. And the rules on how they work are consistent enough that our plotting and catching and traps are going to have a little game of like, oh, they're thinking they're getting smarter. But there's some times where it's like, okay, so can they hear... Sometimes they hear footsteps. Sometimes footsteps are fine. It's just going into the ground and drilling. That's too loud. And then sometimes it's like your voice carrying. So there's different levels of sensitivity initially that are like, I get like, I'm not sure how what they can hear. I know we were here because the fucking writer wrote it in the script. The grab boy attacks us in the scene. Yeah. And then, you know, and other times it's like, it doesn't matter what you're doing. If

you're on the roof, it's coming through the floor and it knows, and it's pulling the whole house down and it knows you're up there. But yeah, but it's still, that was, that was like a fun, dumb bit. The, the, the setting up all the things as well, where you've got like the bully kid that just has, he's, well, he just has shitty bully face. Yeah, and he's gonna be like he's like of course every activity that everyone is doing is Drilling into the ground with a jackhammer Bouncing a basketball of course and then the little girl is on a pogo stick with headphones with headphones on Can't hear anyone bouncing on the ground. Everyone's doing the loudest possible activity at all times.

There's a fridge that keeps acting up that's over there. I'm going to take a car battery and dig it into the ground. Why not? How loud can we get at all times? And then yeah, I guess just in terms of their capabilities, it's like, well, I mean, at first it's like pulling a dude into the ground and then it's like, oh, we can pull out a car. Yeah, fuck it.

And when it gets down to it, the preppers, once again, not only were right, but they saved the day by creating pipe bombs at home. That was great. That was great. It was very fun. One and two is what I see people saying. I have been seeing that in the chat the whole time you've been talking about it. That is what my friend told me as well.

I guess the thing here is just like, how many of these went straight to DVD or to VHS, right? You know, there's like five Starship Troopers movies. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And James Van Der Beek thought he was too good for the second one, but not- And he was probably right. But not for the third one. Oh, he was right the first time.

Yeah. Yeah. And I heard that like, yeah, that's what they got. They get back, like each got they get back like each time they get back at least one or two people. Reba McIntyre is there for the for the first movie just I don't know why but country singers here. Okay. And Casper Van Diem, excuse me, Casper Van Diem, yes. And yeah, it's just like, I don't know where the cutoff point is, but I'm assuming one and two were in theaters and perhaps after that they decided straight to Walmart, you

know? Anyways, it is, it holds up. It's a good one that holds up. I should watch that again. I can remember the the fucking wall scene and Kevin Bacon and grab boys and that's it Yeah, yeah, I mean and again after you know hearing about it We're just like yeah, this is essentially dune worms in the West and or in America and they're smaller and shit's wild There's like no explanation at all, right? No. It's just like, what the fuck is that? Zero. Zero. No idea what they are, where they came from, what's going on.

But they're there. They found them. They're killing. And the population of the town they're doing this in is like 14 people. Oh, great. So there's just nothing around or whatever. Yeah. And they are like the tone of the movie is also just like, again, it's pretty much a comedy the entire way through. Yeah. You know? And then occasionally, like, someone gets, like, ripped and pulled in. But it's also interesting to watch it how it's like, it was PG-13. And like, you can count, like, the swears that they get away with. And then sometimes they have to drop it back to like

You know mother huckers or you know, like no one gets ripped apart or anything. They just kind of get bitten and pulled into the So yeah, it is it feels like like like aliens is like Like you look back at it now. It's likeingly nonviolent. Like people get pulled off screen. Yeah, no. Or the concept of chest busting, or getting gooped onto the wall. Like here they found a corpse or two, and the person was kind of blue or whatever. But again, nothing really visceral or that violent or so.

The most gory shit was when the thing itself explodes into slime. But that's a monster. And it's a monster, exactly. And it's raining Chef Boyardee on everybody. It's Chef Boyardee Orange in specific, too. Good shit. Played a bit more Rise of the Ronin. What do you think of that?

Like, really? shit, played a bit more Rise of the Ronin. What do you think of that? Like, really? OK, so now that I've done a second session of it, it actually is like I can see it coming into its own and what it's trying to do. The first session was like, yo, it's updated Nioh with some cool shit going on and just an introduction to the familiar things I remember from those games. With the second, you know, SESH, we were like, I don't know, maybe eight to 10 hours in or so. Right.

You're taking the, yeah, so all that armor system stuff we talked about. Yeah, I'm not going to talk about it again. Flying is a big part of like what makes traversal feel good. It's like flight? Flight. You open up your Assassin's Creed Leonardo da Vinci wings and fly across rooftops. Like Batman.

Like Arkham? Arkham. You Arkham your way through the city. And then you Arkham and then you grapple and pull yourself to grapple points. All right. Launch yourself higher or land on a roof and like you are Ronan Batmanning from rooftop to rooftop That's not what I fucking thought, right? I have literally not seen even a single screenshot of that particular mechanic. That's weird

You are you are archiming your way over enemies and dropping into takedowns Oh, that's that Batman And then going into Neo combat. You are grappling and pulling dudes from the ground up to your roof. Oh, that's cool. And taking them out, or isolating them from the group. So humongous Batman stuff happening on top of your Neo system.

OK, so that all works and creates a very unique feel to it. Yeah. Second, you're doing this and then you're also going and you do some quests and you meet people and anyone who I guess you hang out with or talk to enough, there's a big fucking flash and there's like, this is now your friend. You've made an ally Yeah, and like you are you're in the background and they're standing there and it's like yo fuckface has joined you it reminds me of Do you remember that ff7 trailer that showed too much during the presentation right and they were like Social events with friends and it was like cloud and Vincent standing 20 feet from each other ignoring

Okay, so so here um And then like yeah early early ish whatever like nonsense fucking spoils I guess but it's like it's such a small bit. The first boss is this Asshole that like you beat him the fuck up and he's like a you know evil whatever bandit type Lord and then you get the cutscene is him crawling on the ground yeah hold on hold on right yeah okay you know begging for his life and shit and he's like I can pay you I can pay you what do you want I got you you know and then you can choose between like okay fine spare him fuck you kill him right

or like what kind of reward are we talking about? And then you can reward and kill or reward and don't, whatever. So I was like, all right, fucker, get out of here, and took the reward and went on. And then do a side quest a little bit later, walking in the open world, and you have to go, some sketchy dude is like, yo, this dude ripped me off, go fuck him up. And you go, and it's the guy Oh, it's not spared great, and then you're like oh, and then he's like oh, hey, yo, it's you what's going on Oh, no, yo, don't fuck me up in fact

How about we team up and we go fuck up the guy that hired you to fuck you like? Okay, whatever sure you can what it you're like hijinks button, right? Okay, so you go with the hijinks and then so you sneak back to the first guy the first the quest giver and you couture Betrayal, yeah, of course, you know on the dude and whatever take them out fight goes down and the dudes like oh that was so Sick awesome. Cool. Here's the reward. Thanks for helping me. You didn't kill me that rules. I'll see you later Gonzo is now your friends your pal and your friend is now selectable in every mission and is a partner that will roll with you as a NPC that fights alongside you and in the fight you can take control of them and switch between your entire party while doing neo-style fighting and missions.

That's way more than I thought was there. Humongous difference to the flow. So yes, you have these areas that you would progress through and then you can go to the main area, take out the threat, open up town and there'll be a boss that's probably too hard or somewhere, all that shit. But the flow of the game overall with the horseback, with the multiple party members, that you take direct control over, or just they fight with you on the squad, it's building on top of the base thing that Team Ninja has gotten really good at in a way that's like,

oh yeah, that's why this game exists. That's a lot more ambitious than I thought this game was. Yes. I thought this game was just open world Nioh. So everything Team Ninja's been doing has been building over that Nioh system and kind of like, you know, like Shadows of, not Shadows, Stranger of Paradise, we talked about like the FF version of that and everything.

And like they're remixing like how you, your I guess like stamina and like items and sitting down at bonfires and all that shit works, corpse running, et cetera. But this is a gameplay expansion with tons of features and a huge difference in the flow of play in general. Yeah, it's big. It feels really different. You're kind of looking at a, you know, you have your Tsushima Japanese countryside, you can horse through open spots that are like, you know, for infiltrating and questy feeling areas and stuff. But yeah,

they just threw some Batman, they threw some Tsushima, they threw some, I don't know what's another game where you take control of multiple parties at the same time. But like, I'm fighting off a boss and like the boss is wrecking me direct one on one. And then I'm like, okay, hold on, switch over to this guy. He's in the clear. And as long as your active party member is, well, if someone else goes down, you can go pick them back up, but if you're about to go down, you can switch to one that can go pull yourself back up and you're fine. I saw some footage of Rise of the Ronin, and I feel like there needs to be a term for this.

Maybe there is that I don't know about, but sometimes you see it with character action games, but I kind of mean specifically not character action games, where somebody put up a video of like, this is what 100 hours in Rise of the Ronin looks like. Right. And I don't know if you saw that video. No. But it's incomprehensible nonsense. Okay.

Like, this guy is juggling people and firing off fucking iJutsu energy blasts and doing all sorts of nonsense parry shit. Okay. And I'm like, what the f- In Rise of the Ronin? Yeah, in Rise of the Ronin. Interesting. Okay.

And like, there's a, yeah, there's people that do like 120 hours of cyberpunk and you're just like, what the fuck is the player character doing? Right, right, right. I mean, it's, the other thing too that I noticed, right, right. I mean, the other thing, too, that I noticed is every time I'm, or some of the people I met would be like, oh, this guy that's your friend that you can bring into battle with and fight with you, et cetera, you can also build up your relationship

with these characters and stuff. There's a social score. And they seem to be mostly, not all, but they seem to be associated mostly with giving you a weapon in a style. Okay. So, Neo, you know how every weapon in Neo has high, low, mid? Yep.

Right? So, you want to get mid katana, you get it from this guy. Right. Okay. This guy's got low spear, you know? Okay. And you can progress down there. That makes sense. Yeah. So, pretty good for that and like you can progress down there. That makes sense. Yeah. So pretty good for that and the upgrade tree stuff as well.

And an interesting system in that like you don't it's not just like corpse run to pick up your souls and like you die and they're gone type of thing. There's a mixture of hard experience and like soft experience in a way. There's like skill points. I think there is it of superimpose. Is it like you clear a full level and the level gets stocked and you can't lose that, but the progress to that level can be lost? There's experience that you're gaining that you don't lose as you just do quests and adventures and mainline shit.

And then there's a second bar that is like when you kill strong enemies, they give you skill points that don't turn into skill points until you sit at a bonfire. And if you- That is kind of like Sekiro. Okay. Not quite, but it kind of- Yeah. A little bit.

And like you'll hit the cap and then you'll go over, you'll see a bunch that you're holding, and like you sit down and then they get converted and then you can hold those points until you spend them or their currency. As long as they're held on your body in just like ethereal form, you get killed by an enemy, that guy has the points on him directly. It's not on the ground. It's on the guy. It's on the guy, and you have to kill the guy, and that starts a vendetta. That's great. Right. So yeah, it's an interesting way of doing it. And for me, who likes to go up to shit and like take a crack at it.

And it's like you're five you're five times underleveled. Well, I've trapped here because he ate all my balls. So here we go. You know, it is it is it is an interesting thing that that and how they're doing it. So, yeah, like, no, it feels like now it's coming into its own and I can see what the design choices are. And they had the chance to feature Creep on a team that loves the quality of life. Everything is like, I can only imagine

how much comes later and stuff, but it feels like there's a fuck ton to do. I saw the map and it looked incomprehensible with like icon vomit. Yeah Yeah, that seems so I know I believe you when you say there's a lot to do. Um, that feels like it can get there so far It's like it's it's a bit sparse for now, but it's just the beginning One thing definitely worth mentioning. There's an online co-op mechanic as well. Of course there is start and so that's what the two characters are for Okay. Yeah, so you if you don't play with NPCs that you take control over you can let people connect and fight with you.

Okay, that makes sense. And it runs like shit. Yeah, it does. People were fucking gritzing and connections were bad and the rollbacking slash correction for sync desync that happens. NPC or enemies will roll back while they're fighting. Oh, that rules. That's so good. You see the actual enemies roll back or, you know, like snap into a different place where the other,

the host's game perhaps was at or so. And it's like, oh yeah, okay. Team Ninja's not got the co-op thing going. Still. They're still struggling with it that's really funny yeah so yeah but still really cool shit and fortunately there's more than enough going on that online can be completely ignored it feels like yeah doesn't fucking matter in fact you're hurting yourself by taking up those two slots with randoms when you could put people that you want to use and take control of in those slots.

Yeah. You know? So I don't know where the fuck I would even try and check that out. I got all these fucking titty ass phone games to play. So I guess question for anybody that has been doing the Keeping Up With Team Ninja's releases as they've been going. Safe to say that if you're looking at these games, would you say that it's cool to just jump straight here if you haven't gotten used to the mechanics of Nioh 2 or perhaps WoLong and some of the progression as well? I feel like they're all totally separate. Right?

Because I didn't jump to Nioh 2 because I was still enjoying Nioh 1. But if you just want to see what the latest of what they're offering is up to, then yeah, definitely. Hey, I hate to stop you, but I shouldn't have had that gigantic energy drink again. I'm going to need to use the bathroom. BRB. All right. So Rod's is running, check it out.

Not bad. Do I want to play the floppy titty game with the guns? Or do I want to play the Batman save? The other one. The other one. Yeah. But yeah, no, that's pretty much it. So we went back to Guilty Gear for a little bit.

Test your luck. Best Nigger Ryuki came through. We had some good times playing with that. This week, streaming wise, tomorrow, we're going to be playing some appropriately, Devil May Cry 3, which the music just kicked in there. That was pretty sick. I'm going to do some Yakuza and we're going to start... Well, I'm going to check it out, but I believe...

So the Rising Tide is out, right? Yeah, yeah it is. What's up? So I saw somebody in the chat say, did Pat steal Wooly's height? And I realized that it's been so long since we sat on the couch together. There you go. That, yeah, no, we're both sitting and our asses are on the same level and me and Wooly are at the same height

But my fucking feet are are shooting straight out legs. They can't even They don't even go down here. I'm gonna do I'm gonna do gimmick cam for a so there's a gimmick cam I'm gonna do gimmick cam, right? Oh my god. Oh don't do it. Oh do it oh it's bad there it is there it is visual bit I know you had this camera I've got to give it I've got give me cam ready to go so there it is all right that's the bit yeah this is why my feet they're on the floor my feet are on the floor and he sits cross-legged I sit cross-legged so no one sees. And because he sits cross-legged is why- I actually appear taller.

When we actually go back to here, that's why you're floating all the way up there. Because I'm actually sitting like an inch above where my butt would rest. And this is how physics works. This is why it gets fucking weird when we sit on a couch together. Yeah. Because my body proportions are stupid Yeah, so oh Do you not know these people you don't they don't know?

Okay, so To this is walks. I don't know what kind of fucking traps and and weird shit. You got going on titty mousepad Yeah, yes, but armed But bicep though. Yeah, but bicep. All right. You should know. How well do you know me? Come on.

How long has it been? As long as you're not one of those fucking degenerate armpit freaks. No, no. I appreciate a good bicep. All right, strong. So yes, that's going down. Rising Tide is out, so FF16, I wanna check out that DLC, see what's going on as well.

So yeah, check in on the channel, we're gonna be doing that, and we're gonna come back to DNF Duel, cause Monk is out. So yeah, Willy versus on Twitch, Willy versus on YouTube, you know, what's up? Yeah, as discussed earlier, the Pat Stairs Out schedule this week is guesting on Wooly Versus tomorrow for Don't May Cry and then hanging out with my mom and dad and walking

around town with my baby. So I'm taking the week off because it's my birthday. Yeah And I'm old All right. So what is happening? So yeah, we already talked about fucking Maximum male modeling. Are you okay? I'm just thinking about that's When we were on break and we were both walking back from the bathroom. I saw something on my phone. I burst out laughing Yeah, yeah. Yeah. We'll get there. Oh my god. We handled the maximum male modeling, Mason, Mansoor, making their way out to Uganda. That's a shit ton of good alliteration.

Yep, yep, MMM. Mace, Mansoor, maximum male modeling, making their way out to Uganda to help the soft ground wrestling orphans who are currently. You gotta help the orphans They got no parents. Okay. Now just think of think of what's happening, right now just take the complete 180 of That action and those people and let's talk about

Harming orphans. Oh Yeah, okay. Yeah, I see it. Mr. Warner Brothers Discovery CEO David Zaslav. And let's see, what's he doing for the orphans this year? He's throwing them in the garbage for tax write-offs. uh, 2023 compensations rise 26.5% to nearly 50 million and it- it- it- this is- oh hey, I am at- this is bad timing

I'm required, currently I'm required somewhere right now I will have to take a break I'm sorry. Alright, BRB. David, I'm sorry BRB, BRB. Alright David, Zazz, your fucking bitch. Your bitch ass stupid bitch. I hate you. You're just burning your own

possessions in a bonfire and then asking the government and your friends for more money. So this is particularly important and oppresant in a way because Warner Brothers' discovery has been in cost cutting mode, cutting costs left and right, including companies such as, I don't know, Rooster Teeth. He tried to fire us! He failed! It's wild that he failed, but this motherfucker tried to cut me as a cost!

Okay, okay, okay, I see the mental loop. Yeah, yeah, I can get there. No, no, no, I can get there. He literally, yeah, you tried to kill us. He tried to punch my baby. He tried to take food out of baby's mouth. Yeah. Directly. This fucker. Don't like her.

How dare you. So, yes, and fortunately, it is in fact okay. It is more than okay. It's great. But the dude is cutting down everything. So, Warner Brothers has been burning and firing people left and right. And in the same timeframe that they're doing that because they've got to cut down on costs, it's also time to crank up the bonuses for the year. He cranks up his bonus, always in the double digits, mind you, and not always low end necessarily. He increased his pay package up by 26.5%. So he's given himself a nice 49.7 million extra in the year that companies of underwater are

shutting down. We're in that part of capital where the best way to make money is to already be independently fabulously wealthy and then just go from company to company and destroy them to enrich yourself and then just leave. Devour company and destroy them to enrich yourself and then just leave. Devour our. Like Bobby, right? Like good old Bobby Connick. But here's the thing though, but one thing you can say about David is that he's loyal, right? Because it ain't no fun if the homies don't get none. He's not alone in this because

all the other execs that have gotten bonuses are also in the double digits. So the exact bonuses for everyone else that is in the C-suite range from 23 to up to 46% or 43% for some of the other people. Well, you have to give those guys their fancy bonuses because one of those guys is going to be your boss at the next company you're gonna suck dry, right? And he'll be like hey Dave really gave me a solid. I was able to buy ten boats and burn them in the harbor I'm gonna help him buy some more harbor burning boats. Don't break the reach around chain Everybody's got to get around and get you got to get the one next to you You got to get the one next to you. Otherwise, you're not doing your part. So vivid. Do you want to be the asshole that

just has both hands on his hips? Well, you're you know what I mean? And you just you're fucking up the rotation on that one. Why would you? So that's cool. That's great. That's good stuff. I love to see it. Love to catch the report on the specific time period that every week we've been coming in and talking about people getting laid off and Warner has been a bloody fucking swath. You know, it's probably not on the podcast docket because it doesn't have anything to do with movies, TV, video games, etc.

But I will say, there is a deep, deep joy in my heart to see that those fucking Cybertruck Abominations are getting recalled. Every single one of them. For maybe the dumbest design flaw ever, where the fucking acceleration pedal just slips off and jams at 100%. It came up last week, but it's like, how far and wide is this spread? Oh, every single one of them, all 4,000. And then it's like, wait, fucking 4,000? Are you telling me that the TikTok that I follow that shows me a dead Cybertruck every day of the year

is covering a truck that had a 4,000 unit rollout? That's hilarious. And just like the,, the the the reveal here of the death trap of using your vehicle even once might kill you. Yeah, literally even once. But like the way that that ties into this is that one of Tesla's biggest donators, like, you know, shareholders that's given billions to that company is very mad about the Cybertruck rollout and is opposing Elon getting paid at all. Because Elon's like, I think we should pay me fifty five, what, million dollars. So and even the shareholders like you just had a truck recall, you dipshit. Why would we pay you anything?

Yeah. I mean, maybe if you do it fast enough when it's just one video of someone going, Yo, what the fuck is this? Then you don't have to deal with the class action lawsuit. Oh, sorry, $55 billion payout. Oh, nice, nice, nice. For putting out a fucking fridge that gets stuck on acceleration. Oh, oh, uh, uh, uh, something that approaches the valuation of Twitter, approximately. Yeah, I really do need that money.

That exact amount specifically interesting. I need that please. I mean look man. I'm so rich that I need money. Again I just want the fucking not gas thing to exist and the fear and thought of like, can you turn it on and it won't explode like casino? Yeah. Can we just have it not explode like casino? That'd be good. It's like, no, but the pedal might get stuck in acceleration mode.

That's like way worse, because if you turn it on and it blows up, you're dead. Right. You're in inferno. But like, hey, I'm driving down the road. Oh, no, there's a there's a family crossing the street. Oh, no, it's stuck on accelerate literally and That exact scenario there was a famous case that happened and I remember because it was fucking Grizzly and horrifying so we don't need to get too far But some there's a family that was in a car and the gas pedal

There was a there was a defect in the car and the gas Pedal got stuck on accelerate and they could not stop but they had enough time to call 9-1-1 and go yo We can't stop. Yeah, it's called speed with Sandra Bullock in piano You know what you saved it because it's yeah, and they hit that that baby carriage, but it was There you go. Swerve off the depression. Good shit. And you know what?

That stupid old lady, she had it coming because she didn't listen. That old lady gets down on the stoop on the last step to get off the bus. She's like, I have to get off this bus! And they're like, no, don't do it! And she's like, ah! And she just panics and pushes everybody aside and then goes to get off the bus. And then there's a bomb at the bottom of the door and You just see her go and then like they she kind of gets tossed out onto the road or whatever and Sandra Bullock in

Canada were like oh god, and then the guys like I told you whatever so that stupid old lady should have listened We can't have that many bombs on the step You just need the one to make the point. Yeah. You know? And like I remember, like I very, there's very few things I remember about that movie. But I remember that dumb old lady getting it and putting everyone else in danger. I remember shoot the hostage.

I remember the cans that you remember. And I remember when the fucking, like when you're setting up the master plan right like this whole thing that's so detailed and meticulously organized and a Crucial component is to be an elevator repairman and when someone goes hey Let me see your credentials you pull up a piece of paper with a little knife behind it And you do this to hide the knife and then go ah and stab the guy and it's the weirdest dumbest like the easiest thing That could have flopped the entire time.

I think the strangest part of the Machiavellian plan in Speed is that he goes and gets the money himself at the end of the movie at the drop-off. Does he? I don't remember. Yeah, he literally like goes to the trash can to pick up the money himself and then I'm gonna dive into the subway. And it's like, you're there, You're fucking right there. They're watching you

Like yeah, you had a secret passage or whatever into the subway, but like Jesus fuck God. I Mean, yeah No, the the real version of that movie is the one where the digital car with no physical buttons is computer locked and You have to you have to I swear to God within five years We're gonna see a fucking horror movie called driverless You have to beat a level of cuphead while the car is farting And driving it at the highest speeds possible, but just to save your family

Yeah, that's a pretty good name for that movie, actually. I feel that coming around the corner. But anyways, that's what's going on with fucking Jazz Eyes. Good job, David. You fucked everything up. Love it. And here's a big reward that you don't need. Love it. Um, and, you know, so-

I bet his flesh tastes delicious. And- And, you know, and one good turn deserves another, or perhaps three. What the fuck are you? Oh shit Embracer group has announced it's splitting into three separate companies So, you know shit's getting bad over there at Embracer they tried to buy the entire video games and it didn't work because

Saudi Arabia was supposed to give them the money to afford to buy all of the video games and Saudi Arabia was like, bleh, nah started Saudi Arabia, squirted ketchup and mustard on the stomach and went ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp watched like multiple companies do this to themselves and then not get the deal WWE did the same fucking thing! But maybe this time they'll do it though. Oh maybe this time! Like get it in writing you stupid fucks! You know what we will sign that the ink will dry in when we'll sign that paper inside of the line when the line is built right?

You've seen the line city? I have not. Oh... okay. Is it one of those fake ass future cities? line is built, right? You've seen the line city? I have not. Oh. Okay. It's one of those fake ass future cities? Yes, it is a line and the whole thing is a cut. Oh fuck, I have seen that. Oh, that shit's not real.

That's not gonna happen. Imagine the Death Star trenches built into the desert. Oh dude, every single level has cafes and boutiques and who the fuck is gonna live there? It's like up to a million people could live here from fucking where? From all the places that they've claimed, from all the people they've moved out of the way and forced into essentially servitude in the process. There is an answer to that question, it sucks. Like, yeah.

There's people that live where the line is supposed to be and they've been like, you know. But hey, it just got canceled recently. Well, that's great. Oh, fucking wow. There's just one problem, Ben. Who's gonna live there? Oh my god.

Sell the houses to who? Fucking Equamans. Ben who's gonna live there? Oh my god Sell the houses to who? Fucking Aquaman Anyway, so that allowed, but hey look It's really easy to look smart when you debate children as a profession Man, listen It's real, aw man Speaking of Aquaman, my favorite part of the death and

birth of Superman arc a return of Superman was the part where he split into for Superman steel super boy don't call me super boy the cyborg I thought I thought you were gonna go you know what my favorite part of Aquaman was the part where Aquaman's wife couldn't get wet I Thought I thought we were gonna go more on Ben. I didn't see that I didn't know that was good I didn't know that went down. I didn't see that I didn't know that was good. I didn't know that went down Oh you don't know about that? Oh fuck, Ben was like this fucking WAP song is ridiculous. My wife's a doctor Oh wait wait yes yes

Sorry, aqua yep got it got it right okay. I was like Amber Heard? No no no no Taking shits on the bed. What are we doing? Yes? Yes wet ass P word. Yeah, it's unnatural What what is that? I don't know. I don't understand. That's snot, oh no. No, but here, take a look at my sister again, actually.

I will, I fucking will, Ben. Look at how fertile. I don't, that's one of those fucking things where I'll retweet it and people will be like, that's not real, and I'll be be like shut up. I don't care I'll give a fuck She's so fertile So when Superman

split into four That was super hype and I was and then the black Superman not the black Superman But the other black Superman the one in how is this still a fucking problem with the fucking black? Spider-man black Superman and then we got the red and the blue Superman We think we can't forget about those guys. So welcome to the new embracer which has unembraced and become the new Embracer, which has unembraced and become a spread out. Everything about these names is a punchline. Like Embracer literally enveloped things to kill them and is now splitting apart from its corpulent mass.

Well, like you know when, you know when, um, like, uh, uh, Garnet gets hit too hard in Steven Universe and just splits apart yeah it's kind of like that so Embracer got rocked a little too hard and here comes Asmo Dee. That, I don't know what that is. Coffee Stain and Friends. That is... And Middle Earth Enterprises and Friends. Now quick, what do you think Middle Earth Enterprises and Friends is going to be responsible for? Uh, Warner Brothers games and shit? What property will come out of there?

Shadow of... War War? What property will come out of there? Shadow of... War war? You would think Lord of the Rings, but yeah, and yes, but no what if I told you also Tomb Raider? Yeah So You know what the most shocking thing i'm looking at here because I don't have a list Coffee Stain is getting its own named company. Coffee Stain's not that fucking big. They make satisfactory

Is that who that is? Yeah. Okay. Because I'm like, I don't even know what Coffee Stain consists of. But yeah. They're good. But like- So Asmo D is going to be board games, trading cards, digital board games, and it's going to become its own entity and it'll do what it does. Coffee Stain and Friends will be- So they're going to- Because they're consolidating the IPs, right? Um, so yeah, Ghost Ship, Tassia Tuxedo Labs, THQ Nordic. Wow THQ Nordic like fucking fighting to stay alive. Haven't they just been getting beaten from corner to corner of the industry?

Over and over and over. Didn't Deep Silver fucking own them? I like, I remember us talking about THQ Nordic woes at least like seven or eight years ago Dark side are still coming another one's gonna come out promise So yeah, that's where all the free-to-play stuff is gonna be happening mobile etc Middle-earth and friends It is gonna be AAAs to Lord of the Rings Tomb Raider Dead Island Metro, etc. Metro?

Metro is there. Yeah, and Crystal Dynamics is in there. So yeah, there you go. Crystal D, Dan Buster, and hey look, my former friends over at Eidos Montreal. Flying Wild Hog, Tripwire, Vertigo, Warhosts, 4A. 4A? Yeah. So that's it. Oh, fuck., middle earth and friends. Two of these will die. I just soon like soon. Like I like it again, just the ultimate in like damage control. How can we can we live independently if we use less resources?

Let's split up. That's that's what you say before the killer gets you. Yeah, so that's what's announced today. And this will surely work out great. And I can't wait to report either next week or so as one of those studios will close down how many losses in the same idiots that made all these decisions were then split up and sprinkled into the management of these three new companies. Yeah. Um, we have been watching the group cut and cut and cut for like, what, 18 months? Like two years?

It's been a while. It's been a long time. Yeah, and again, I know people at Gearbox and they, I think, were able to, yeah, they got their butt or some of their shit back or whatever, But how many of these franchises are just like, yeah, you're just you're never this is never. I can see if Cain is in there somewhere. The thought of like, oh, someone new has bought this, maybe they'll bring it back. And it's like, it's never been more on fire. In fact, it being dead and buried in the ground at

a place that was not about to shut down is technically more alive. You know what I mean? Then the place that is like no longer existing. Like, because now since these things technically still exist, we're not going to get any spiritual successors. Right. Right. Because, I mean, there could be a new tomb right now. Yeah. Oh yeah, 2K with it. Right. It was 2K. There you go. Yeah. Cool. Ridiculous. Jesus Christ. Also, these are the shittiest. Also, these names are just garbage. Like, these are the worst ever. names ever. Also, these names are just garbage. Like these are the worst. Regardless of the business end of things, what the fuck are you doing? Middle Earth Enterprises would be bad enough, but Middle Earth Enterprises and Friends?

Jesus fuck. And Friends is so weird. Cause it like, like both of these are just like, who's the most important amongst you and the rest of you? Fuck off. You're the ampersand, you know? But also, they're not friends. Yeah, yeah.

None of these companies have fucking shit all to do with any of the other ones. I don't think any of them worked with each other. Congratulations, everyone else. You are all Orson's farm. Like, I hope you- like, people are here for Garfield, and you are the friends. Like, that is it. We're like that is it we're ready to party we're ready I hope you bring lots of spaghetti all right this is a pile of shit that is a pile of shit coffee stain kicks ass satisfactory skin hit 1.0 soon All right, is it not that that shit's been it's one of that's been early access so long

That they did like a year and a half of early access on epic and that was like four years ago That like oh, man Jesus okay fair enough you want hey you want a digital train set for reasons? Go play that Satisfactory game. Watch it go around? Can it go choo-choo? Yes. Okay. Yes, it can.

That's all right. That was like a big update. They're like, do you want choo-choo trains? And people went, yes. Speaking of big updates. Oh, fuck this. Here's a fucking cool one. So Hey, whoa, hey hell divers has the latest

It's updated with the latest major order that has multiple planets being attacked by both bugs and bots. Yeah, I Saw this described as Joel telling us to fuck off for the weekend Clear 10 planets shut up leave me alone right because they have the order of kill 2 billion bugs and The community cleared that in 13 hours, which was clearly not supposed to happen. So everyone just kind of went okay That's what he says, but fuck that what if we lobbied and rallied, right? And so you can't win them all, but people said we're gonna focus on one planet in particular, Martell, which is not part of the main objective, but if taken,

it would cut the bot supply lines from multiple planets. So the theory is we should be able to win multiple victories by cutting off the supply chains. Right. So the Botfront was a really good example where people figured out we have to focus on this planet because this planet will seal off these two planets. Right. And then we can focus on this and that and basically do one at a time. But I'm looking here and Joel says, listen, the system doesn't work that way. It's gonna later, but it doesn't now. But I, Joel, will honor your ingenuity. And I will make it work that way.

And this is why you need a DM for a live running thing like a service game like this. This is the only live service game I can think of that has a guy pulling levers and making things happen. And you know his name. Yeah. And he's talking to people. Whether or not Joel is a real person or a single person.

So is it that Martell is physically the stopgap? I haven't seen it myself, but that seems like it would probably be the case. Because if it is one of those things where this is the choke point, if you can free this one then they can't get reinforced, then that makes perfect sense. Yeah, that is awesome. Yeah, so like the, this is the, and yeah, between all the, you know, those gags,

but like, oh, he's working on some shit over here, what's going on over there? But like, this is one where if the community does something and then the game responds in kind, that's my favorite type of shit like the things that actually the stories that kind of sold me with mmos and things like that was that one with What was the mmo where there was? An egg that was just like

that came from the heavens that people had to like uh, uh defeat Then a bunch of people like say, or like defended the egg. Does this ring a bell to anybody? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. So I'm gonna look down at a chat. People are saying.

Okay. Yeah. Fortnite? No, no, no, no, no. One piece. This is way older than this. This is way older than this. So no, no, it's not Wakfu.

It's not 14. RuneScape, I think it's maybe RuneScape. I don't know. But okay, let me further describe. Back in the day, I remember my old roommate from Angry Nioh was telling me about there was an MMO where there was an egg and everyone was going to destroy this and it was part of the quest and it was expected to be an event in the storyline. A bunch of people got together and became the people that were like, we're defending

the egg, we don't want anyone to touch it actually. And they created a line that no one could pass. And then DMs got involved, or GMs rather. And there was a thing where there's an angel or something that is meant to be an impossible to kill thing. I was saying there's EverQuest. Okay. meant to be an impossible to kill thing. And I was saying it was EverQuest. Okay, and they like, you can't kill this GM angel thing, but you can stall it out long enough.

That the thing will hatch anyway. And so they managed. To force the event. And so they managed to like, as players, change the storyline. And then when they updated the game, they commemorated it by like making statues to the people that did that and shit.

Like active stuff that creates in-world lore is really cool. Real things that are not necessarily just like, here's the script for the new story and update, you know? That can get me interested, for sure. So things like Joel doing this update, responding to the community is awesome. I love you, Joel. Fucking great.

Thank you for being cool. Was that Ultima? It's awesome. Fucking awesome. Great. Thank you for being cool. Was that Ultima? That was Ultima? Okay. Perfect. Well someone said no that was 100% Asheron's Call. Alright nevermind.

You know what there was a lot of MMOs that had weird shit happen. Who the fuck knows? But yeah that was dope. Alongside that as well what is not as dope. So Void Interactive, I've never, so. I don't know what that is. They made Ready or Not, and I don't know. I don't know what that is.

Oh, that's a cop game. It's an FPS. I've never heard of it. Yeah, that's about like door kicking, I think. Okay, so yeah, first time I've heard of this, but they had four terabytes of data stolen, including full source code for the game. And it's one of those Capcom type situations where basically their data is being held ransom. Fucking sucks because like-

No personal data though. This is the- yeah. So the thing with here, they released like no personal data, nothing like that has come out, no staff related information, which is again the important part because when it happened with Capcom and a bunch of the others, there's always passports and like actual fucking docs shit that gets put into the leak, nevermind the actual games, mind you. So here it seems like that's not the case, But that's a real fucking serious thing that is happening. And I imagine it might be kind of like how I remember hearing about how like,

you know, like they're like, oh, do kidnappings still happen? And it's all the time. But you don't always hear about them because sometimes those reds get paid. Yeah, exactly. You know, and like in some cases, like, like, for example, with like smally pirates and stuff, it's like if you pay the money, they honor their the deal because if they don't, then that means no one else is going to listen in the future. Yeah, no, and you have to give proof of life. Exactly. So like, that's one of the things I did over

this weekend. Like we were traveling and I bought Wi Fi on the plane and made a bunch of dumb ass tweets so that I didn't disappear for fucking two three And people go why isn't Pat talking? Where could he be so no one would know I would be here so But no, but that shit's fucking crazy. And yeah, this is apparently happening in the case with this game. Um, I mean I imagine and think in an instance where like, well, I think you just kind of like with Capcom, at least it's just they just kind of like went back to work, right? Yeah. Like they're like, okay, well.

They're like, yeah, okay. Okay. They probably paid it because that story went away. It did go away. We'll see what's going on here. And yeah, I don't know if any IT can ever be fucking up to snuff enough to... I mean, most of these hacks are actually just socially engineered nonsense. They're calling up some manager and going, we need your password, we're your bank and we need your password. Can you open up your server and tell us your password?

Someone walked in and had a knife and a paper, like the speed guy. Yeah, yeah. And then one elevator stabbing later. Oh yeah, somebody in the chat points out that a lot of these are like, I stole a laptop out of a coffee shop. Right.

And now I have access. Gotcha. stole a laptop out of a coffee shop. Right. And now I have access. Gotcha. Anyways, aside from that, so speaking of first person shooters, something called Unbroken was announced at FPS Fest. And this is a really cool looking medieval superhot. Okay. It looks like Hexen, but like Quake.

Yeah. It seems to be like first person medieval. There's guns, there's axes, and then there's a whole lot of slow motion. There's a fucking foot to kick shit. And you're kind of just taking dudes out in not, well, that's not medieval. I would say that's more Victorian, But yeah, shit looks super stylish. So Hot check out the trailer for unbroken FPS test demo from MGP studio. This looks like shit in that good way. I

Don't know what's happening, but dudes are getting kicked in slow motion and their top hats are on their heads and it's cool It's also like guns in this setting is a reminder of like the order 1886 or whatever. You know? Fuck that game by the way. Yeah like well it had the powder in Igniting the Smoke right? That was cool. That game is so shit dude. I beat it.

I beat it. All I know is Igniting the Smoke. Like you know when people are like this fucking new AAA game is like, four hours long? And you're like, that's bullshit, you skipped every cutscene. That game is fucking four hours long. Mmm, yeah. Okay. It's ridiculous. Um, yeah, it was, and was it, um, was it like, was it, it was a full price, like, six hour thing, right?

Oh, fuck yeah, it was. It also has like one of the worst, like, we're only gonna go on this mission if there's no deaths. And then what ensues one minute later is the largest gunfight in the entire game. Yeah. Well, hey, cool gun concept. Yeah. It looked cool.

And then alongside that we got... Well, apparently today there's supposed to be a trailer for Deadpool and Wolverine. There was a little teaser that dropped yesterday. Are they going to kiss? It's basically like the sad parts from Logan. And then while the sad parts from Logan are playing, Deadpool is just talking stupid shit and going, come team up with your old buddy, Wade. Come on. And Wolverine's being angsty and just being like, let me fucking shut up, let me die.

And then- I'm so old. I don't want to come back and do this movie. He doesn't want to come back and do the movie But it's like nah, shut up come back and do it though And not only do you have to come back and do it you got to put on the big dumb yellow outfit I did the whole fucking run without putting on the fucking yellow outfit out of retirement

So yeah, you know I'm down to see where that goes And I guess technically even though it's continuing those franchises, it's under the new banner, right? It's a direct sequel to Loki. Okay. Okay. Fuck. Yeah.

So it is just, we've just migrated it straight into the MCU. Yeah. All right. I guess, I guess it makes sense. It's like, do people like it? Yeah. All right. It's MC. It's part of us now. Yeah, alright. I guess it makes sense. It's like, do people like it? Yeah, alright, it's part of us now. Yeah, that's kind of how that works.

It lives. Great. Great. I get it. I get it. Apparently Loki season two was like, get out of here, Jonathan Mager. That was like the point of that season. Oh god, I didn't watch it, but that yeah. Yeah, all right. All right. Setting it up. Cool. Um, yeah.

All right. Then we touched on, on Fallout and the, uh, and the, the, the Nikkei and, and, and Jojo stuff. So, um, man, I didn't bring this up with the Nikkei, but like, there's a line of dialogue in that tutorial that makes that game way funnier than I thought it was going to be Which is like one of them going like oh the commander couldn't look at us like that cuz Nikkei are like Disgusting non-yay. Yeah, and they go And like wait your characters like an in-universe perverted sicko. That's hilarious

They're supposed to be horrifying and yeah supposed to hate them. It's fucking funny. Oh My god, you actually care when you put the bandaid on I felt something warm. Yeah Yeah Did you get got by the the dialogue? I'm title or did The subtitles are fucked up. Because I just played for this company, so I thought they fucked me. That got me. That got me.

And they didn't. It was actually really smart. Subtitle fuckery. You got me. All right. Let's take some letters. Hey, if you want to send in a letter, send it to castlesuperbeastmail.gmail.com. That's castlesuperbeastmail.gmail.com. That's castlesuperbeastmail.gmail.com.

Please try and keep it brief so it's easier for us to answer. All right, here's one coming in from Abram West Eden says, Dear Commander Woolley and First Lieutenant Pat, Abram with a comment and question. In Star Trek Voyager's most infamous, one of the most infamous episodes. lieutenant pat abram with a comment and question in Star Trek voyagers Most infamous one of the most infamous episodes threshold threshold Can be summarized as Tom Paris breaches warp 10 barrier and then he and Janeway turn into weird salamanders have babies You gotta watch fucking

Yeah You gotta watch fucking Star Trek. Does this check out? Oh yeah! Okay, this checks out. Dude, I fucking said the episode before you did! While this is genuinely funny and bad, what people forget about this episode- They leave the babies there! Is that the first two acts are Lovecraftian horror, where Tom Paris, having glimpsed the true nature of the universe, becomes increasingly and physically and mentally unwound and is shown literally

Melting and babbling insanely with makeup and such confined to a force field in the sick bay. Here's an image attached It actually rules it's the real blood-borne shit until the abrupt third act turns into shitsville and it's wildly compelling No, that's not that's not the problem. The problem with threshold. So Star Trek is for fucking massive dorks. Oh my god, right? Star Trek is for huge fucking nerds, right? You know this. You've met people who like Star Trek. You know me. Hi. So when you the core concept is what if we go faster than warp 10 and people who have watched Star Trek have watched like 200 episodes where people go faster than warp 10, right? So the whole fucking concept just completely fails right off the because you have well nothing we've already done this

In multiple. Yeah, okay. Okay So it's so when all the weird shit starts to happen you're like why so it is that because it's like do the writers just not give a fuck about what the last person did does it like Western comic books are the way in our writers in those last couple of seasons we're just fucking throwing whatever the okay okay who cares what yeah all right small grew is that her name the lady played Janeway was like I have decided based on what the writers are giving me is That Janeway is bipolar

Okay And this explains what I've been told is the kill them all Yeah, okay. All right the other thing and this this is like one of my favorites So there's like did I tell you about fucking chakotay on deep on fucking voyage? I don't remember the name okay, Chakotay is the Native American first officer. Okay, right and so he gets because he's the first officer That means he's like secondary main character. He gets Backstory episodes which because he's native means he's gonna get visions and shit. He's gonna meet his fucking spirit animal He's gonna do all that. He's gonna do all he's gonna talk to his fucking

fucking spirit animal. He's going to do all that. He's going to do all that. He's going to talk to his fucking ancestors and shit. Oh yeah. All of it. And the Voyager staff, they were like, well, we don't want to fuck this up. That would be like really screwed up and offensive. So we're going to hire like a Native American consultant, right? And they hire him and he's like, oh, you do this and you do this and you do this. And the episodes start to come out and natives are like, fuck is this fucking bullshit. But they do the season and then later it's found out that that's a fucking white guy who was pretending.

Oh no David Carradine. Yeah he was just pretending and he was just making up a bunch of fucking shit. So now every soccer so every single fucking time you see fucking Chacote open his mouth you're like this is some fucking hucksters bullshit coming out of his mouth. Dude, that show was a fucking mess. Oh no. God. Yeah, it was Italian.

Jesus Christ. That's the worst. Oh man. Voyagers riding staff, they fucking swung for the fences in all the worst ways. I think there's a lot of insane things that I've seen on like a serialized TV show and a lot of things that they ask you to fucking like accept. Right. But like in the first or second season, there's an episode in which Harry Kim, one of the ensigns, the Chinese guy, he fucking

gets cloned like it like against his will. and there's now there's two Harry Kims and the original Harry Kim gets fucking killed and Then they take the clone with them and it never comes up once It literally never comes up ever again that they are traveling with the fake So isn't that just a different version of the Jonathan Frakes fucking, what's his name? Yeah, but that one, the transporter nonsense is like they doubled them. Yeah, okay. So, god, alright. Oh, these voids are so fucking awesome.

It's the shittiest fucking thing ever. As you're talking about the whole like native spirit thing or whatever, one of the, I mean, so actually just one of the things that does that in a really cool way is in the comic saga, there's this native spirit that is basically like this kid that is an orphan in this war that gets bombed and killed and is a ghost now. Got it. And like, because they're a ghost,

they're like stuck like protecting the land because all of their ancestral spirits are supposed to got it the end and she's like this fucking sucks I hate this. I don't want us be stuck here. I don't want to protect anything. I never got to leave the planet I don't want I don't care about any of this but just because this is where I'm from I have to do this I have to guard this stupid fucking forest and then is and then like becomes a main character that it's like makes a blood pact with a baby to fucking Leave and just like I don't know that thing on its head is great Anyway the question was is there a piece of media that is wildly ridiculed for a hard misstep But you're still willing to give to go to bat for it and why oh

man, oh to go to bat for it and why. Oh man. Oh, there's good shit in that first season of Next Generation, but there's also like the planet of the violent black people. No, there isn't. Oh man. Dude, okay, but here's the thing. Every time you say some crazy shit like that, I'm like, but I've actually watched a bunch of the older, older Star Trek, like the first series?

Wully, there is a game that people who have watched all of Star Trek can play. Here's the game. I played it with Paige, I played it with other friends. You go, you probably won't believe this, but, and you talk to your other friend who watched Star Trek, do you remember that time? And then you say the most out-of-pocket shit you can think of, and Paige, or whoever has not watched

Star Trek, or you in this case, goes, fuck you. That's bullshit, that's not real? Page or whoever is not watch Star Trek or you in this case goes fuck you Bullshit that's not real and The trick is that it's always The realest it is always real. Oh my god. Okay, um Dumb shit Everyone rightfully makes fun of but you're still willing to go to bat for it When I was younger one of my favorite shows on television ever

I was obsessed Was with quantum leap quantum leap. Oh, I fuck I fuck Gwadam leaps really good. I love that show. It's really good. It's really good! I love that show! Bottom Leap's really good! It's so good! One day there was unfortunately an episode where he leaps into someone who had Down Syndrome. And you never know who you leap into until you look in a mirror. And so he looked in a mirror and Sam is in the call, you know go like oh What's going on and he says? Oh, no I'm

You want to hear something crazy will eat You want to hear something That man That man would go on to helm as captain of the enterprise. Get the fuck out that actor. Oh, wait in enterprise, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I knew about that. I knew about that quantum leap guy is enterprise. I do that. That I do know. Yes. Yes. Yes. No, not the guy he

was inhabiting. No, no, no, no. Quantum Leap, right? Quantum Leap guy went on, Scott Bakula went on to be the captain of Enterprise. Yes, that I do. I did hear about that. I fucking loved Quantum Leap. And we got that on the sci-fi channel in Grenada back in the day too. It was fun to watch. I was really, I really enjoyed it.

And I don't remember that episode, but the internet sure did. And I will go to bat for quantum. Hey, Wully, do you remember that time the ship's doctor had to fight her possessed grandma who had been taken over by an Irish sex ghost. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. We can play a game here. Yeah, yeah. That's bullshit, but I believe it.

I don't know what show. So I'm gonna say, is that DS9? No. That's Voyager. That's TNG. That's TNG. That's TNG. That's TNG! That's TNG.

Ahhhh. Okay. Cause is it not more off the rails the further into the future we go? No. You would think so. But like, so Voyager goes the farthest off the rails in terms of quality in terms of like oh, this is off the rails But it's bad. Okay, they all they all go to the Stupid okay, like I could say hey

Do you remember that time warf got infected by a virus and when they looked in his mouth? He shot acid all over everyone's faces and tried to get everyone pregnant He like mouth he shot acid all over everyone's faces and tried to get everyone pregnant. You'd be like, well, warf is only on TNG or deep space nine. But which one is it? God. OK. All right. Yeah. Yeah. It's TNG. It's all right. It is.

It's, it, all right. It, it, it is. The fact that the entire quality television program, Quantum Leap, has been distilled into one scene, and that's the only thing that matters. You know why that is? Because Quantum Leap didn't end. No, he never left. That's why.

He never left home. He never left home. It just ended, and the show never continued. I always, yeah, yeah, and I always wondered, why he never left home. He never left. I ended in the show. Never continue. I always. Yeah. Yeah. And I always wondered, is he going to leap home? Finally, there was one where he like did, but then had to fake leave again. Or it was like it was almost home. But like something. No, there was one where he left home, but he wasn't in his own body.

Oh, it's bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. He never he he didn't. He was he wasn't in his own body, right? That's what it was fucked up It was horrifying She ever watched slider did sliders get home. I don't know I don't know if I was about to ask if sliders ever got home We're talking about that sliders episode where they get home and they're like, it's amazing We're finally back home and their family's like oh it was so crazy that you guys lept into the slider machine

It is a and then they're in a bar and they look at the fucking wall and the Golden Gate Bridge is blue. And they're like, no, we're just in an incredibly similar timeline, the parallel that we left. And like some of them decide to stay and they're like, fuck it, good enough. Okay. I could never watch sliders because it was only airing on Friday nights and that's when it was the Sabbath but I remember the font I remember that fucking I remember that font though oh my god in that show oh yeah yeah John John John some Davies the the professor Oh Davie yeah yeah Davies is it TDT Davies or TD Davies?

Someone in the chat help me with the doctor. John Rhys Davies. Sure yes I do recall. That show has one of my favorite lines of dialogue mocking the British. It's like do you know why the sun never sets on the British Empire? Because God doesn't trust the British in the dark. Not bad. All right.

Here we go. We got one from Dylan from Vancouver says, greetings Chewie and Fuckface. What is the hardest piece of media intended for a child audience? I don't know why, but the OG Space Jam decided to bring in Busta Rhymes, Coolio, LL Cool J, and Method Man for the Monstar Xantham But damn did it go hard. That is the correct answer. So when they say hard like I misinterpreted what they were saying So like what my first brain my brain went to Bluey The dog Bluey goes hard

that they recently did an episode in which, like, um, Bluey's mom, her sister, had to explain how much she likes hanging out with the kids, because she can't have kids of her own. And this is for the fucking children to understand that some people just can't have children and it's like vicious. Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. It's so depressing. No, if there's like a very special episode then we can bring that you can go there. I mean, Mr. Rogers, right, with the one where he's just like, I'm going to sit here next

to my black friend and we're going to chill and it's not going to be a problem as we, whatever, put our feet in the water. Yeah ever, you know kids are like, yay Okay, and their parents were like that's crazy Bananas, holy shit. Yeah Over the garden wall was a kid show that was kind of fucking that went familiar with over the god it was God damn it was it Frodo or or Harry Potter? I want to say it was Frodo what voicing all the actors Jesus. Yeah Because dude there yeah, I can't tell the difference between have you seen the gif No faces of the Radcliffe and the AIDS it's it's insanity the wood Radcliffe

There is a weird creepy gif of their faces just morphing into each other of the Radcliffe and the- It's ins- it's insanity. The Wood Radcliffe? There is a weird creepy gif of their faces just morphing into each other. And it is like a one pixel changes. Yeah. And that's all that it is. Remember seeing a green text about this? About the idea should be that there should be a movie in which Daniel Radcliffe and Elijah Wood want to kill each other but Daniel Radcliffe plays Elijah Wood and Elijah Wood plays Daniel Radcliffe.

Oh my god. And it would just be the most confusing fucking shit ever. Okay. Oh, that's the same guy. So yeah, yeah. British people, huh? So there's this there's this GIF and it is just slowly watching... I don't like it.

I don't like it already. Slowly watching one face turn into another. It is very simple. Oh, don't... That's... Yep. Oh, it's gross. Yep.

Oh, I don't like how the right eye just goes bleh. All you gotta do is just ever so lightly slide one picture over to the side and there you go. It's beyond creepy. It's not great. Anyways, so Over the Garden Wall is- Because of all that British incest. Voiced.

And yeah, that was one of those ones that was like, you know, again, kid's cartoon but like picks up and has some scary shit and goes places. You know what fucking kicked ass your mother fucking intro music for the men in black TV show. Oh, it was fucking great. I mean, I mean, it was based on like Will Smith doing the fucking soundtrack from day so they'd have to keep up with it. I didn't so that in Godzilla. I also didn't watch because they were Saturday morning. But I remember that because of the Lord Yes, the same animation team too as well right so it was that it was a men in black

Fucking what I just said Godzilla Godzilla and big guy and rusty We're all that is big guy and rusty is like a giant robot Astro boy hanging out with giant robo Okay, western cartoon. You know hey I've been I've been in most of your house. I haven't seen any, like, commemorative or decorative worship of the Lord in your home. Interesting. What's up with that? That's wild.

Actually, if you go downstairs in the basement, when we moved in, there were some cool Buddha statues. Oh, okay. And I set that shit up and kept it because it's rad. Yeah. Because they look really cool. One of them is like holding my modem and router, and it's awesome. I don't know if I ever told you this, but when I moved into my, like what I would call

my childhood home, the one I spent most of my time in, in Shattagay, there was a fucking crucifix in the laundry room. Oh yeah. Right above the, like a fat crucifix. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Above the washer and dryer. Now, first of all, that's a weird spot for that. And like my mom missed it on the walkthroughs of the house. And it fucked her up so bad because she's not Catholic but you can't throw Jesus in the trash so it fucking stayed there the whole time.

I don't believe but if I throw this in the garbage. Like it's close enough that it'd be fucked up? That it is happening, yeah, okay. I mean, yeah, no. I can tell there's always the spot where you can see the faded mazizah was removed. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a thing. But yeah, no, you'd think.

I actually did hold onto a picture Bible somewhere. I don't know where it is. For funsies? Yeah, for funsies. You never know. I think it was one of the ones from a hotel that says this was placed by the Mennonites or something. Anyway, and you know what?

Even if I don't have one, my mom will find a way to replace it. Do you think there's a possibility that when you're not looking, your mom will just like nail something to the wall. Or like hide it underneath a piece of furniture? I mean, that's really funny to think about. It's not impossible, but I will say the one unfortunate thing for Seventh-day Adventism is like they don't really believe that objects are particularly important. Okay. All right.

You know, there's no like that thing has been enchanted with the dangerous like now it's all the magic is in the sky and in your brain and in your heart okay the magic is not on the icon that we put in a closet okay well yeah that's honestly that's like fairly reasonable. Yeah. As far as the logic goes. Yeah. It's funny, like my older brother, who's like a priest, a pastor was like telling me about how like there was someone who, she moved into this place where it was, I think it formerly, I want to say it was like a perhaps like an Indian family or so, but they had a bunch of like, they're very devout and they had a bunch of images and

things up that were on the walls and kind of like, in some cases, like silhouetted and kind of stuck in place where they couldn't really get rid of all the signs of the other religious things that were on the walls. And this, yeah, this Christian lady moved into this home and couldn't cover up the old stuff. So it was in like a closet kind of area. So she just kind of hung all these like Jesus and Mary and kind of like all these, hung up all these Jesus and disciple photos. And it's like, yeah, and it's the same thing now. These are just, these are the replacement things that you're like, you're in your prayer closet, you know, you can

one to one it. Anyways, different. It was different though. I mean, say what you will the fucking stained glass art is cool. That's Oh, yeah, that's just rad. Good contribution. All right, we got one over here coming in from Scally Cap says, good morning, Pert and Whoopi. Please stack rank all David Cage games by how valid the moral of the story is.

Oh my God. That's a good metric. That's a new one. Not quality. No. Not like racism. Yeah. But- Heavy rain is number one, easy. Okay. Not like racism. Yeah.

Heavy rain's number one easy. You'll do anything to protect your children. Well, OK, if we're accurately stack ranking, then you've got to have a bell curve. So you've got to have a middle that averages out and then a high top, high bottom. You're putting heavy rain up top. You've got to protect your children.

You've got to protect your kids. Everyone can get that in their chest. But my takeaway from heavy rain was, if you lose your kids, you can always make another one. Oooh. So a replacement is only nine months away. Oh, Jesus Christ. That was the takeaway I took, so I don't know. Yeah.

I don't know what the fuck the fucking meaning of Beyond Two Souls is. I literally could not tell you what that game's theme was at all. Beyond Two Souls might have been, Sudoku is okay, you're all gonna hang out on the other side anyways. It's fine. I genuinely have no idea what the fuck that he was going for with that one. It like... Like, I don't think of any central theme at all.

Ghosts exist on the other side. It'll be okay. It's fine. The afterlife is there. But then again, so are- Eat your twin, you'll get stand powers. But then so are the mysterious natives. Detroit, like racism's bad.

Racism bad. Robot racism really bad. But also... You know what? You know what? Thing pops into my fucking mind stronger than almost anything in the whole Detroit. We did two Detroit playthroughs. And what pops into my mind is that newspaper that's like unemployment 40% or something

crazy like that and then the other thing when we went to the sex robot strip club and it's like fucking $25 an hour in like 2060 for the robot and we would just like society is over Like there's nothing there's no coming back from this my takeaway from Detroit is when it all goes to shit You gotta you gotta go north to Canada. Dude that wasn't even consistent in its own story. That's true that's true and it depended on which... Because they're outlawed in Canada they would be destroyed upon being found.

Okay well I was avoiding the other moral of the story, but if we're gonna hit on it, it's if I buy a fake wife and child, you can't tell me what to do, you don't pay my sub. I can beat them as hard as I want. You don't pay my sub. I can do whatever I want with my fake robot wife and kid. Listen, no, you know what the fucking moral of the goddamn story is?

The moral of the story is just because you're watching a TV show or a movie or a video game and you're like, this character sucks and their actor is shit. When you're watching Neil Kaminsky, where the fuck the guy is that invented the robot sure sure sure who was played by? Neil Astarion That doesn't mean that that actor isn't actually incredible at their fucking job. I Can't remember his fucking last name my brain's calling him Neil Astarion. I don't know but yes Astarion yes, sir What the fuck is his name? New Bond, okay

Yeah, Neil is starry and new bond, okay He was in fucking Detroit Beyond human, and he fucking sucked in that role, okay, probably cuz he did what David told him to do So okay Indigo prophecy. Oh, I don't I don't the moral was Autism will save the future the noble homeless can be trusted. Yeah Autism will save the future but mental illness will zombie you. Yeah, that's right. And in general, anyone who's anything that comes from a vaguely just kind of pagan, native, ethnic, weird, four, anything that's just too out there that's not here is kind of a

threat. It's real. Out there that's not here is kind of a right the Illuminati is is is fucking with everything. That's not From around here, and I know indigo prophecies fucking true theme Is that it's never too late in your story to introduce a surprise villain that hasn't been set up It's never too late and the and the surprise villain is some form or another of the other. It's always the other. Aztecs are throwing down. That's cool.

Yeah. Hey, and the theme of Omicron is believe in your dreams. Don't let your massive failures get in your way. Okay. Just because you're fucking shit at your job and you make garbage doesn't mean you can't trick people into thinking you're actually good. My moral of Omicron is I can fuck your wife better than you can and I'll do it with your dick. It's really interesting when you think about how he fucked that dude's wife with that guy's dick. When

you think about it. Oh, I'll do a better job and I'll do it with your dick. You can't even call John's on your own body. Oh my god. We'll see you next week. Have a good week everybody. Bye bye. Bye bye.