Castle Super Beast - SBFC 013: Never a Good Day with Swamp-ass
Episode Date: November 5, 2013This week in videogames! Manly tears, Resolutiongate, MGS5!!!!, Notch rules, Zynga scums it out, Assassin's Creed Egypt? And arcade stick compatibility? In my next gen? It's more likely than you think...! Got a question for us? Send it to: superbestfriendcast@gmail.com
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Hey guys, here's- and every now and then you just hear me like getting up to go to the bathroom.
Grunting.
Just like, ugh, this is fucking terrible.
Scratchy noises.
Oh, it's- oh.
The exact real-
Oh, they're getting right- oh, you gotta get right in there.
So the plot-
You gotta scratch in the ABC connection.
A lot of people don't understand how perfect that spot is for scratching.
Perfect.
Perfect.
Man, there's an art to scratching.
Oh, absolutely.
You got some BSTL that you gotta take care of.
Some what?
BSTL.
Are you not familiar with-
I am struggling here.
Ball stuck to leg.
Learned the terminology, my friend.
Geez, man.
When you got some of that going on-
I hate that.
You need that rough actin-tonatin.
No.
You need- you need to scratch in the right way, sir.
Yeah.
There's an art for me.
Yeah, you need to scratch with a big, big jagged rubber glove on a stick.
I never got really good at scratching.
I'm always bad at it.
That's not really a skill that anyone would be like, what?
I always do it too hard and punch myself in the nuts.
Yeah, you know.
Sometimes, man, when you're in the history class that goes on forever and you kinda-
You gotta kind of like lift up one cheek.
That was like ten years ago.
Yeah, that shit-
That's enough of it.
It sucked.
That's a video.
Top ten injuries done by scratching yourself or something.
It was like when we were at Pats the other day and we sat there for like three hours.
And then we all got up and just-
Swamp ass.
Everywhere.
Yeah, it wasn't great.
You guys had to leave.
I got lucky.
I went and took a shower right away.
I felt great.
Never fun.
Never a fun day with swamp ass.
It's terrible.
I hate swamps.
At college.
Especially in and around my ass.
At college, we had three-hour courses.
Oh, it's terrible.
Those remember.
Of course about swamp ass.
No, all about art history.
Yeah, so pretty much the same thing.
Well, like the 8 a.m. classes where they hand you your complimentary pillow on the way in.
Yeah.
Those were great.
1505 Leonardo da Vinci.
On his masterpiece swamp ass.
I remember being in 8 a.m. classes and like, you know that bolt awake where you're like,
oh shit, I've been sleeping in a bolt awake.
Yeah.
And like you look around and like ten people next to me are also asleep.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
I thought you were going to say you bolt awake and the room's empty.
What kind of asshole jerk ass schools schedule shit at 8 a.m.
It's crap.
I know my teacher is like 90 years old and he has to go to bed at 4 p.m.
But I can't learn in the morning.
No, it was the worst.
It was the absolute worst.
Speaking of the worst, welcome to the new episode of the Friendcast.
This is episode 13.
It guaranteed to curse you.
Lucky numbers all around everybody.
It should be on Friday the 13th as well.
My dad was born on Friday the 13th.
Well, fuck.
Did your dad wear a hockey mask full time?
Yeah, pretty much.
Wow.
You met my dad.
He never takes it off.
Sure, okay.
Remember that time you got dragged to hell?
Yeah.
He doesn't sleep.
I know that for a fact.
No, he sleeps now.
He sleeps now.
Jeez.
That was super.
About ten years ago, he started sleeping.
But I had already told all the cool, my dad can't sleep stories by then.
Yeah.
But like, I remember you telling me like, oh yeah, he'd get like four hours of sleep
and that for some reason became the number in my head.
And I was like, it's acceptable if I get at least four hours.
And then he started to sleep and then I stopped sleeping.
Okay.
Yeah, okay.
That works out really well.
Past the baton.
I can't talk too much shit about my dad on the podcast anymore though.
Because last week when I went to see them, I get, I go, hey dad, how you doing?
I get in the car and mom's there.
And my dad turns to me and he says, so, Ariel just wanted the dick, did she?
I don't believe you.
Oh, what?
I said that.
I said, there is no way anyone would like it.
And my mom was like, how could you say that about your sister's favorite Disney character?
Oh my God.
And I'm like, oh, God.
The words getting around.
This is the weirdest.
Because I asked them like weeks ago, like, you don't listen to the podcast.
He's like, nah, it's all dumb nerd shit.
I don't care about that.
And then he listens to me rant about Disney Princesses for 20 minutes and then gets mad at me.
He was really upset.
My dad sent me an email saying, hey, does that wooly fellow know that if you shoot lasers in people's eyes, it burns out their retinas?
I was like, yeah, everyone literally, everyone on the internet screamed at him, dad.
It's fine.
He goes, oh, I don't like that wooly fellow.
Did he call me a slumber gullian?
No, I did not.
Is your dad from the 1960s?
I wish he was.
Technically, he is.
Actually, yeah, sure.
He has to be like as old as he is now then.
Then, yeah.
It's only dangerous if you hold it in place and concentrate it at the iris.
Okay, Pat, what did you say before about that statement?
Okay, so we're arguing with him.
He's like, nah, man, it's only dangerous if you don't know what you're doing.
Like, that's the same phrase I heard from my brother every time before he broke his leg or arm.
Okay?
Right.
That's the same phrase some technician said at Chernobyl.
So wow.
Jeez, that's a jump.
That's dark.
So to go back to your dad for a second, he stopped sleeping and then he started and then now you stopped.
Yeah.
Why did it skip your brother?
Oh.
Does that mean that like...
No, he doesn't have a job.
Okay, so...
He's stealing.
Because I like the idea of like the demon has been passed on from father to son.
No, no, we're all like that.
My sister has a baby, so she doesn't get to sleep anyway.
Right.
And my brother doesn't...
Well, the baby only sleeps four hours, so really, it's pulling all the way.
Yeah.
And when the baby's of age, you will pass the demon on to the child.
No, no, no, the demon lasts for like 40 years.
Okay.
Wow.
But now that I can sleep until 4 p.m., who cares?
Oh man, guys, so much has happened this week.
It's a big podcast, Lee.
Yeah, and you know what?
We can't afford to fucking go nuts like we've been doing because I can't afford this shit anymore.
The website says now stop that.
It's too much.
The hosting is a problem, so let's shut up and get going.
Yeah, Lee, what's going on?
I played Killer Instinct with a friend and a really cool friend of his,
and then I went and played Killer Instinct with Woolly and Matt a few days later.
Oh!
Dishin' about since 2012.
Not bad.
Not bad.
I went and played at the PS4 event, too.
I played Knack.
That game was really, really fun.
Octodad arguably just as good.
Is Knack just Crash Bandicoot?
I thought that was Terraway.
I thought it was Doritos Man.
It is Doritos Man.
Knack is Knack 2 Terraway, right?
No.
Terraway is Knack 3.
Yes.
No, but Knack is a lot like Crash or Sonic in that it's one of those old platformers
that you don't remember being hard, but when you go back to it was actually kind of hard.
Crash was hard.
Yeah.
When you go play Knack, make sure you play it on hard mode because it has that difficulty,
and certainly put it on hard on purpose because you knew he wanted that type of person to gun for that.
The AI changes, like tons of shit changes.
Okay, but it's like an old-style platform like Crash Bandicoot.
Yes, absolutely.
It's hard, but it is.
I miss that.
It's part of that, and that's exactly it.
I love it.
I really like Crash Bandicoot.
I really enjoyed it.
I'm kind of bothered by the fact that the thought of a yellow triangle immediately makes me think of Doritos.
No, that's a good thing.
Like that's brand new working.
Hey man, don't you love Doritos?
Wouldn't you like to have some Doritos and pound them down with some dew?
The Doritocracy.
Oh, watch that.
What happened in E3 this year?
We'll get to that later.
What happened in E3 this year?
Don't you remember?
We're at work watching E3, and I come back from break and Woolly looks at me and he's like,
what are you doing?
I'm eating Mountain Dews, and he's like, I'm drinking Mountain Dews.
E3 knows that exactly.
What happened?
I'm like, what is the season?
Like, I gotta.
It's my fuel.
It's my fuel.
Liam, why do you keep on inexplicably talking about Halo?
I didn't even know you liked Halo.
Oh, Jesus.
God.
That was pretty much mostly my week.
Killer Kill was good again.
Yeah.
Big surprise.
Shocker.
Move on.
It was exactly what I thought it was going to be, and I called it last week.
Fantastic.
You're so smart.
So one little one-centus about it.
Appreciation for the Japanese pronunciation of new the beach.
Yes.
Absolutely.
Totally agree.
The next.
Gone.
Pat, what's going on?
Dude, I didn't do shit.
I'm tired.
I played the first case of Ace Attorney, though.
Dang.
And yo, dude, Ace Attorney is back.
Like Matt was 100%.
Like, I don't really have anything to add to what Matt said last week, because it's awesome.
I'm getting into it.
I will say that the game takes a really weird turn right at the beginning of the second
case that I did not expect.
Okay.
It was something that you could have learned about in a preview event.
Like, it's not a big huge relation, but you're playing it and you're like, oh, this is happening.
This is happening.
Right.
Okay.
Is that the reason why it's rated M?
No.
I'm talking about the very setup of the first.
Okay.
The second.
Yeah.
I don't say nothing.
Okay.
Okay.
And the game is rated M, apparently, for some brutal reason, which I don't know.
No one knows.
I don't assume it's the bodily injury that's done to Apollo.
No.
Yeah.
No, that's all.
That's peachy.
That's like, isn't that the opening?
Yeah, it's the first thing to happen.
Oh, okay.
All right.
All right.
Yeah.
Apollo was cool and he took a bomb to the face and then put on a cool jacket and was
like, look, I'm cool.
Look how much cooler I am.
I don't have time to put my arms in the sleaze of this game.
That's pretty much all I did the whole week.
I played Ace Attorney and watched more Mythbusters because I'm tired.
Nice.
Badasses have no time for sleeps.
No, there's no time.
My dad never slept.
What?
Matt, what did you do this week?
This week, I'm not going to try to decipher that.
I played Kylaren Cycle with my best friends, Willie and Liam.
Oh, you said sleeves.
Yeah.
I heard sleeves.
I heard sleeves.
We all figured you heard sleeves.
I heard sleeves.
No.
Sleeves.
Sleeves.
Badasses don't have time for sleeves.
Exactly.
Your dad wasn't bad.
Yeah, you remember?
I remember the stories.
Yeah.
Matt, tell us about your friends.
They'll come in a later date.
You've got to trickle those out.
Yeah, trickle them out slow.
Yeah.
So as I was saying...
I'm sorry, man.
I'm sorry.
That's like 30 minutes later, you're like, oh!
All right, Matt was Satan.
Anyway, we played that.
We might have a video later of that.
We do have a video.
We do have a video.
We might have one.
Why are we going to play point?
Is that being killer instinct?
Of a video of stuff going around the thing.
Why are we playing hard to get?
Why are we running away at the ball?
Anyway.
The anticipation is the best part.
Let me talk about the recap of what happens on the channel, whatever.
I also had played a bunch of Assassin's Creed 4.
I played a bunch of Ace Attorney.
How's Assassin's Creed 4?
It's pretty good.
Yay!
People might be shocked, but I didn't like Assassin's...
People might be shocked, but I didn't like Assassin's Creed 3.
You get all the cool America shit out of the way,
then you realize, and Padme was saying this,
that the whole setup of Assassin's Creed is actually really boring.
Yeah.
There's actually not a lot going on.
The day-to-day of the American Revolution is kind of boring.
Yeah.
And like I said, I was playing a lot of Ace Attorney.
That's really good.
I played a couple hours of Sonic Lost World,
and it could be better, but I'm still kind of having fun with it.
But I'm one of those people that hated Generations.
You see what I mean now, though?
That it's kind of like there's really good levels,
and then there's just really bad levels.
It's almost like Sonic Team made it.
And then...
It hurt me.
It hurt me.
Yo, how's that sailing?
You've been sailing a lot in games these days.
The sailing is really good.
I was telling this to Liam,
the weather changes so drastically,
that you're like,
okay, this is ridiculous.
I sailed from one hurricane into another,
but in the middle there is like stretches of,
yay, guys, everything's great!
But doesn't it make it better when your crew is going
hi-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di-di?
It's totally good,
but even though I collected a bunch,
they just still sing them randomly.
So sometimes you will hear the same one three times a week.
Yeah, but are they all good?
Not after you're three times in a row.
I know.
I watched that Game Trailer's video about the unlockables
speak for the music like five times,
because I liked it.
No, they're good, but...
Pirates singing songs are the best.
Are you singing along to them yet?
I don't know them that well,
because I had a long stretch of
I'm not going where the game wants me to,
I'm going there,
and that was a long stretch of sailing.
That's what the Kinect should be doing.
Detecting you singing along with a pirate song.
And then they decide to start singing along with the wind.
With what you want to do.
And then what the Kinect starts,
what, advertising pirates, shanties?
No, you control what songs you want to sing by singing them.
That's free, guys.
That's free.
I also went to a Halloween party
when we had a gigantic windstorm
that took away a lot of people's hats.
I completely forgot Halloween hats.
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
So I dressed up in my Hotline Miami costume,
and my better half dressed up as
Zombie Alice in Wonderland.
It's actually pretty hot.
And you got some daring debonair bass
to take some photos of you.
Yeah, some, some, some, some,
who is the photographer?
I fucking shove it.
Oh, my God.
To be, to be, to be men.
To be men, yes.
Well, he did a great job taking photos.
He, he, it's almost as if he's,
he's done some photo shoots before.
Anyway, you make me blush,
but you can't see it.
Anyway, here's the thing about good-
Because I'm black,
and black people can't blush.
Is that true?
You, you can't tell.
It is true.
You can't tell, but it happens.
The blood's in my face.
There's no blood in you.
Here's the thing.
Here's the thing about going to
stranger's houses for parties,
and I think you'll all agree with this.
I probably will.
Is that if you go to a stranger's house,
you don't know anything about this person.
Yeah.
And I walk in.
This is how this happened to me.
If you walk in a stranger's house,
and they have one giant bike
blocking the entryway.
Yes.
Oh, my God.
You can't get in.
The first thing that goes to my mind is,
all right, I'll, I'll stay and hang out.
If you open up the door,
there's two bikes.
Oh, man.
I start thinking,
I'm thinking about leaving.
But at this party,
I open up the door,
and there's three giant bikes.
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
I do not want to associate with these people.
Yeah.
Now, you drive a bike.
At this juncture, you need to go.
You drive a bike, that's fine.
If you have three of your giant bikes
blocking the way,
when you know,
when you know there's a party going on.
You don't understand they have to be there
so that there's no interruption
to their biking lifestyle.
Exactly.
And all I could think about
is the Portlandia sketch
and the guy driving the beat.
Hello.
Oh, God.
Cars.
Bike lane, bike lane.
Bike lane.
And there is a gigantic terrace
where they can just put the bikes.
Would you say a tear ass?
Tear ass.
But they needed you to know
how green they were.
They were so green.
And guess what?
These guys are from out west.
Yeah.
You have to step over their tires and shit.
And they're like,
I can't believe the main street.
The main street of this town
is just so,
uh, that's why I live,
uh, here.
And I was like,
Why did you go to this place?
Because we were dragged from a,
it was some friend, friend, friend,
drive, drive, drag.
And then we both didn't want to go.
And we both were the first.
You should have left them
an upper deck.
I said that.
The thought I crossed my mind.
We were both the first ones
to leave as well.
Yeah.
So good on you.
Lane party by the best costume.
So it ran.
Okay.
What about you, Wolves?
I had a pretty eventful week myself.
Uh, the Halloween's, for me,
meant the good old Rocky Horror
picture show.
God damn it.
Late night double feature
picture show.
It was really good.
That's what it's called?
As usual.
No, that's the opening song.
I know, I know.
Um, yeah.
So I've been to a couple
and, uh, fortunately,
we happen to live in a city
that, like, is known for
being one of the best.
Does it pretty hard.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We, we commit.
And it was really fucking sick.
Um, of course,
you had all the costumes,
all the freaks came out.
It was really great.
And during the costume contest,
you had, uh,
like all kinds of walks of life.
You had a team rocket up there.
It was pretty good.
They have fake boobs.
Uh, not, no.
Not on the one,
not on the person you're thinking of.
And they had an inspector gadget
that got up there and was like,
oh yeah, okay,
that's inspector gadget.
And then he starts
stripteasing to the music
and opens up his coat
and pulls out his cell phone finger
out of his, like,
it was finally nuts.
Who didn't think about that
while watching inspector?
Um, but yeah,
no, Rocky Horror, man.
Don't dream it, be it.
Awesome.
Uh, also been, uh,
listening to,
I don't know if,
I don't know if I'm talking
to anybody out there.
I hope maybe I am
to one or two of you.
The, there's a new Eminem album
that came out that's actually
pretty good.
The one that came out alongside
the Call of Duty.
Uh, I guess that's how
you would have heard of it,
I suppose,
but the Marshall Mathers LP too.
How is it?
It's pretty good so far.
Is he back?
I really like it.
Cause he was here
and then he left
and then he came back
and you were like,
is he back now?
No, he came back
and he did a not so great
album, Relapse,
but then he made another
one called Recovery
that was sick and he was back.
Cause I liked him
when I was a kid and then
he's like, I'm back
and I listened to a couple tracks
like, no you're not.
No, no, no.
Yeah, the one after that
he came back.
He came back from the comeback.
Yeah.
Recovery.
And now the LP too.
Damn, fuck the rap game.
Oh no.
It's fine.
The next album should be
back to space.
No, but,
um, it's really,
really cool.
Uh, I suggest that
for anyone who's a fan
or check out Rap God,
he destroys it.
But enough about us.
Uh, yeah.
There's too much news.
Yes.
There's way too much news.
There's way too much news.
There's so much news going on.
Liam, can we briefly,
there's something that
we talked about,
uh, last week
that was
interesting as fuck
on the way home that we,
I just want to just,
just very quickly.
Yeah, sure.
The idea of what happens
when digital's die
in games.
Yeah.
When you basically
have a,
a service that's
committed to an
online service,
whatever, that's correct.
You know, and then they're like,
you're going to subscribe to this
or whatever.
The idea they're selling you
is that you're going to
have this forever.
That's correct.
I'm going to put my money in.
I'm going to trust you
to, you have my back.
Exactly.
When I say,
I want this,
you'll give it to me.
And give it two,
three years,
and Metal Gear's not
online anymore.
That is correct.
Exactly.
And Fantasy Star
is not online anymore.
That is also correct.
It's forever
until they can't
make it happen.
Now the difference
with those two games is
even they pulled the online
mods,
we're not doing this anymore.
Not Fantasy Star.
Well,
but Fantasy Star,
you still had a
single player mode.
That wasn't the best.
But like your game
didn't become a brick.
Yes.
Right?
MMOs.
Like Warhawk is a brick.
Yeah.
MMOs.
Like, you know,
try and go and play
Anarchy Online or
whatever,
or all those stuff.
They're gone.
Yeah.
Your discs are worthless.
Now what,
sorry,
go ahead.
Well, I mean,
Bayonetta on PS3
in 20 years?
Yes.
Gone.
Yes.
This is what I didn't
think of.
You won't have a patch.
Online only games are
fucked up,
but patches, dude.
Oh, totally.
Fighters and games
with the framerates
fucked up.
Because games don't
come out on their disc
finished anymore.
Exactly.
Resident Evil 6
only has awful, awful
edition instead of bad
edition.
I didn't even think
about that.
Exactly.
It's terrible.
It's terrible.
It's awful.
Do you have a console
that has the patch
that we're looking for?
Yeah.
Because we can't play
the game otherwise.
Yeah.
This means you have to keep
every console ever.
Yeah.
Like you need to keep
your consoles,
or like hope that they
made a Game of the Year
edition.
Because if they didn't,
then...
Those have turned out,
the Game of the Year
editions and
long-standing
re-releases of games
two generations ago,
especially this gen,
have turned out to be
outrageously popular.
Like crazy popular.
No, and they're
afraid about them going away.
Yeah.
But some games are going to go
away, and there's nothing
you can do about it.
And it sucks.
The reliability on
day one patching
is going to bite back
everyone in the face
the moment we exit
that generation
and enter a new one
where they don't host
that shit.
Now you want to talk
nightmare scenarios,
look what happens
to games for Windows Live
in a couple of months.
Of course.
Or even if you have bought
like GTA IV,
and it's a brand new copy
of GTA IV,
and it's a disc.
Yeah.
You got to punch that CD
in a couple of months.
It's going to go,
oh no man,
games for Windows Live
doesn't exist.
Yeah.
Too bad for you.
Yeah, no, absolutely.
All those games,
all that time,
whatever you want to call it.
It's a mess.
Your money, most important.
It's absolutely terrible.
And I think it sucks
because we still go out
every now and again
and buy an old game, right?
Yeah.
I do that literally
every week.
Yeah, exactly.
And you pop it in,
and you play Dragon Force
even though it's
kind of unplayable nowadays.
And unfortunately,
in the future,
some of these games
it remains to be seen how viable
Microsoft,
Sony,
Nintendo,
et cetera,
believe it to be
to keep their old update
servers on.
Yeah, exactly.
There needs to be a fix
to this.
Now,
Microsoft turned off
Xbox Live
for the original Xbox.
Yes.
Sony has yet to
turn off anything
because they didn't
have a centralized
PS2 one.
So we'll see what happens
when the PS3,
PSN,
is super old.
Now we'll see
the 360 and the PS3,
and the Wii gets rolled
into the new infrastructure,
right?
And it just becomes,
this is the old section,
and all this exists for
is to just download old patches.
It doesn't really cost
anything to upkeep
because no one's doing it.
Just keep it on a legacy.
And that's what I want.
That's what I want.
Yes,
but what's realistically
going to happen
is fuck all that noise.
Yeah.
What's worth it will come back
in the form of digital.
Yeah.
And the rest too bad for you.
Yeah.
And it's just unfortunate
that there's the rest.
So this has been around
for quite a few years.
And PC is not immune to it.
Like Steam has lasted
No, it's true.
for a long, long time.
But there are games
that I bought the first year
Steam that don't work on my PC
because they only run on
like Windows 2000.
Okay.
So moving right into
the current week.
It's not great,
but yeah.
No, it's not.
But like moving right
into the current week,
we can almost armchair
CEO this section.
Let's do it.
In a way.
Hands on the armchair.
Okay.
You're on the armchair.
You're Microsoft.
Oh.
Can I quit?
You're hearing about
the
Can I fucking quit?
Well basically.
No, you can't quit.
I choose to metric this situation
by an Xbox 360.
So the situation is this.
Everyone's been going nuts
about it.
What is resolution gates?
Resolution gate is the
unofficial term.
It's terrible.
It should just be called
like, yo, there's a power difference.
You've been really
obsessed.
Obsessed.
You've been mailing me articles
all week.
Yeah.
You kind of need to relax.
But crunch some numbers.
What's going on is
effectively the X-Bone
is being blasted right now
for being weaker.
Natively 720
while the PS4
is natively 1080.
Now that's kind of
I don't think it even merits
the term blasting
because it is actually
just being weaker.
Yeah.
It is actually just
not as good.
It is earning this.
Right.
Like outcry.
Yeah.
On behalf of, I guess,
like the more like the hard
cores, you know,
and the gaffers
and so on and so forth
that are really, really
taking them to tax the value.
And the basic idea is that
the three, not the 360 Christ,
the X-Bone is somewhere
between 50% weaker
to 125% weaker
than the PS4
because of less,
you know, silicone
in the case
and a weirder memory setup.
Right.
So your 60 frames a second
can go down to like 27.
If all horrible things combine.
So that's the state of like
this is this, this is that.
And people seem to be
extremely frustrated,
me among them,
that now this is a trivial
difference that the average
consumer would not notice
despite the fact of years
and years of technical articles
saying,
I look, there's 50 different,
50 different lines of resolution
in the 360 game and the PS3 game.
Like the PS3 and the 360
were different and they had
strength problems.
But those were exaggerated
whereas this is a giant
huge difference in power.
It's a ghost.
Like it's massive.
So the story has been evolving
as the week has gone on
and it started as
here is the side by side
screenshots of Call of Duty.
Battlefield.
Battlefield, I'm sorry.
Yeah.
And then they went from that
into side by side, everything.
Yeah.
Side by side,
Assassin's Creed, side by side.
No, you can't do
side by side Assassin's Creed.
I know because there is no
X-Bone to show,
which is great.
But we were seeing a whole
bunch of, and then it became
like the triple-screen
shot GIF.
Yeah.
It was always everywhere
for a while.
Then it became the
explosion initially,
and then it became
the game journalists
having articles about
everyone going,
alright, it's not a big deal.
You just,
all this matters is
the pixel counters.
And then you had the
reaction to those articles
on other sites about
why are you,
why are you not reacting
to this?
So the most,
the highest level of
cognitive dissonance was
done by Ars Technica,
which published
an article saying,
it's an opinion piece
by one of their writers.
It says,
I don't care about
the resolution differences.
From the part I sit
in my TV,
like you'd never notice.
Who cares?
Ars Technica puts out
video card reviews.
They have, like,
detailed feature-by-feature
video card reviews.
So it's any one.
Of every single performance
to cost ratio
on absolutely everything.
And have that same
place say,
ah, who cares?
It's weird.
I saw the,
what I read from one
of the things was basically
if there was an NVIDIA
versus AMD performance.
That had a 50%
performance difference
for $100,
it would be the most
unambiguously written,
like,
don't buy this piece of shit,
buy this one.
Yeah, exactly.
Because of digital foundry said,
eh, it's fine.
We're not going to go into
the technical details.
That's almost what digital
foundry did.
Yeah.
Their article is weird.
They did just as bad.
Yeah.
So, what did they say exactly?
They basically said that
the Xbox version's worse,
but it still holds up
despite being worse
than the numbers game.
Which is, again,
weird.
Well, here's the thing, though.
And here's where I have
to throw in
a bit of a caveat.
It's,
it would be a little bit
hypocritical, though,
to entirely stand
and bark, though,
when I know as someone who's
owned a Wii,
and who's owned a Wii U,
and has always been
on the lower end of
the visual spectrum here.
Well, let it finish long for us.
Right?
That, like, sometimes,
like, the,
not being at the crisp
cutting edge
is not what's going to matter
personally to an individual.
Mm-hmm.
I know that I really
want to play Killer Instinct.
Nothing's going to stop me
from playing that.
Mm-hmm.
You're, you're
totally right.
I was going to say, though,
just really quickly,
is that also when you,
if you owned a PS2
and an Xbox original,
like, what mattered,
the PS2 had the best games,
the Xbox was the better machine.
Right.
For sure.
At the end of the day,
it all comes down to exclusives,
but if you're buying it
for Call of Duty or Battlefield,
it is factual
that it's the same game.
For sure.
And it is factual
that it's running
100% better
on one platform.
So, the...
And I don't think
that's an exaggeration.
100% better?
50% to 125%.
So, the worst,
your 60 frames a second
goes down to 27 frames a second,
or your 60 frames a second
goes down to 40 frames a second.
Matt's, Matt's PS2
Xbox example is a perfect example.
Mm-hmm.
Because all of the things
being equal,
if you had a PS2
and an Xbox,
and you had an HDTV
at the time,
you would be best served
by getting Soul Calibur 2
on the Xbox,
because it ran in HD.
But then you realized
it had spawn.
Yeah.
But I mean,
people,
well, you're totally right.
Killer Instinct does look good.
I don't care about it,
but it looks good.
Yeah.
And Dead Rising 3
looks good.
And Forza,
I much prefer to grant,
not grant,
GT5.
Yeah.
So, for exclusive games,
of course.
That should be your number one.
Yeah.
But that's not the
issue here.
The issue here
is most games
are multi-platform now.
Yeah.
And there's a huge,
yeah,
concrete,
obvious example
in either frames
for second resolution
and the more powerful one's
the less expensive one,
by 100 bones.
Yeah.
So I think,
no,
effectively I think
as long as you fall somewhere
in between,
like,
staying sane
and saying that,
like,
exclusives matter,
therefore,
resolution is not
the deal breaker,
unless you only
wanted multi-platform games.
Yeah.
I just,
I just want to make
the difference.
It's not resolution,
it's performance.
Because
if you put them both
at the same resolution,
one will run much worse.
Yeah.
Okay.
So, for example,
Revengeance 2,
say it comes out on
both.
Which,
Revengeance 2 would run
at half the frame rate
on the X-Bone.
Or,
it would run at the same
frame rate,
but one would be twice
the resolution.
Like,
they are interchangeable.
You can't fuck with those
games,
frame rate and stuff.
No,
that's my whole one.
You can't do that.
And that's why Call of Duty
is 1080,
Call of Duty,
and 720 on the other.
Yeah,
I like exclusives,
but the games that I play 90%
of my time with
are multi-plats.
Mmm.
And it's like,
you know,
the next Rezevil,
the next, you know,
whatever.
Final Fantasy 15,
turn to March 3.
That's interesting.
I think I spend more of
my time with exclusives.
You play less games.
Sure.
Yeah.
I'm on like a mix of both.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because I like,
I like going out and
find like,
okay, what did I not get?
Of course.
For not having this console
or whatever.
There are two copies
of Final Fight Streetwise, right?
Yes, you do.
One on the PS2
and one on the Xbox.
Let's put it in perspective,
shall we?
The Xbox version is actually
the worst.
Yeah.
The PS2 is the better
because it was the,
it was the,
the native console
that they made it for.
Yeah.
I think we should devote
a whole podcast
to the technical details
of Final Fight.
I think you should
fuck right off.
Okay.
No, I hear what your cat
says.
No, your cat's awesome.
Your cat can stay.
Yeah.
We love the cat.
The cat's act,
I feel dumb because
Woolly and I in particular
were like,
you shouldn't get a cat.
That's dumb.
No, I said maybe.
It depends on if the cat's hyper.
Everyone's,
everyone's skirting now.
I was against the cat.
I was against the cat.
Only me and Kat wanted it.
And now,
I really like Zach.
I think Zach is cool.
I think Shrunkers is great.
I think you think about
that, Zach,
and just silence.
I think Luca's pretty good.
Yeah.
His name is Zach.
His name is Zach though.
No,
Luca's pretty great.
The fans spoke.
It's unequivocable.
Do you hate the fans?
So yeah.
I hate the ones who didn't say Shrunkers.
So the end of that thing,
PS4 is going to be way more powerful.
Yeah.
If you like multi-plats,
be aware of that.
That's it.
It's going to be around the whole gen.
And you got to throw a lull
at Shuhei.
I love Shuhei Yoshida.
He's the best.
Getting in the ring,
throwing his hat in there.
The whole week,
he's just been on his Twitter going,
ooh, I found an interesting article.
And it's articles that are just
slamming the resolution difference.
Ooh, that's interesting.
A little emoticon face
with a thought bubble
into the article.
Yeah, I love that guy.
And then the other guy is saying,
oh, maybe you should do
an educational diagram
of what the difference
between 720 and 1080 is.
That would actually be
a really good idea
if I'm going to do that.
And he goes like this
and just straight up
shows a picture of the difference.
Yeah.
Where they all box out live.
No, but like the video
about sharing the game.
PlayStation is really getting in there.
PlayStation Germany on Facebook
posted a picture
of Call of Duty Ghosts
with the official art.
And it said Call of Duty Ghosts
1080p 60fps, PS4.
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Like it might still be up
to the PlayStation.
Come on, let's get
some Sony Scream ads.
Yeah.
Like the Sega Saturn Scream ads.
Yeah.
Man, and he got a level over at EA, too.
They're just like,
we can confirm.
He's like, I'm on vacation,
but we can confirm that, yes,
the rumors are true.
Both games look and play great.
Yeah.
PR has been.
I feel bad for the guys
doing PR because
Of course.
They're having a bend
over backwards being like,
no, man, it's not
because one's weaker.
We just decided
to do it in half the thing.
For performance.
For performance.
It's not a good session.
It's by design.
Isn't that because it's weaker?
No.
It's because.
Yeah.
I'd like to think
that this is the type of thing
that Adventure Microsoft will say,
well, this is a new machine.
They need to max the power
for that.
That's the weirdest.
Secret sauce.
That is the
absolutely weirdest thing
about it.
It's the weirdest thing
about it because back when
the E3, they were saying
we did not intend to target
the highest end hardware.
Mm-hmm.
Right.
It did say that.
And then like two months
after E3, you had guys
like Albert Pinello
going to Gaff
and saying,
no, man, the secret sauce.
It's going to be so powerful.
It's the Microsoft expansion.
And now it's being thrown
in their face.
And they're saying,
we never said that games look good.
It's all about the games.
Wait.
Oh, my God.
That's exactly what they need.
Yeah.
The expansion pack
had specifically changed the resolution.
That's all the reason to exist.
It changed the resolution
because it had more RAM.
It did.
It'll come out with a new
Donkey Kong game.
Oh, no.
Made by Rare.
It'll come out with a new
Banjo game.
That's close.
It's good enough.
Yo.
Spring 2014, motherfucker.
What's happening in spring 2014?
Video game.
Ground zeroes.
Yeah.
Punished snake.
Wait.
Maybe.
Yeah.
No, no, yeah.
Not yet.
Not yet.
No, maybe.
Yeah.
Might just be Big Boss.
It's probably just Big Boss.
It's just the Great Fox.
What a mysterious joke.
What is the most mysterious?
Do we have anything to say
about this other than,
woo!
Yeah!
Yes, I do, actually.
The pricing models seem kind of weird.
Like, why are you doing it this way?
I'm a bit bummed at the pricing, too.
I think that there's no
downside to episodic content.
Sure.
I am 100% bored.
You clearly don't play Valve games.
Okay.
Are you left with a boater
high and dry, blue balls?
Like going on a decade now.
Okay.
There is a bit of a bad thing about
episodic games.
All the people saying,
well, when are you going to get back
to the wolf among us when they release
a new episode?
When will that be?
Ask Telltale.
Yeah.
Okay.
I look forward to that level of shit talk.
But the idea of, again,
your game development being progressive,
you can fix anything you fucked up the first time.
Yeah.
You knocked Sonic for it.
It's good.
Yeah.
You can fix anything that went in my head.
You know, and you take your time.
Yeah.
And you just, you have little bits and crumbs
and they're all good.
And in the end, you get a nice whole package.
It's like how I like my anime.
I like it in bits and pieces without too much.
Just go.
I agree with you, but I do kind of prefer
like a big, I don't,
like Siren Blood Curse came out episodically.
Yeah.
I didn't play it episodically.
Until it's done.
I bought it, I bought the whole thing
like two years after it came out
and just like having it be episodic
but then play it in huge, huge chunks
was weird.
See.
But now the games have to be playable
while you're downloading them.
You know that feature?
Yes.
That means they're being made episodically.
You know, the first part.
Yeah.
There's episode one, which is the prologue
and then there's episode two,
which is everything else in the game.
Literally this game is being made as I play it.
Literally.
Yes.
I don't know.
I'm really excited for it.
I, I mean, what do you guys think?
Ballpark four or five hours long?
I, I'm going to, I'm going to guess it's
five hours long and I bet it's
because of the new free form nature.
Yeah, with all the content.
It's, it's a lot, there's going to be a lot
like Metal Gear style levels of content.
Yeah.
Right.
And that will justify its $30 price.
That's just a guess.
Five hours long, ten if you try to
cross the desert on foot.
Yeah.
Stuff like that.
Yeah, totally.
Yeah.
And I'm sure that, uh, uh,
Phantom Pain will be like a full Metal Gear.
Like no, you know,
I don't think any concessions will be made
in that regard.
We were speculating that Phantom Pain
was also going to be like, like,
like chopped.
I thought it was the inverse.
I thought Phantom Pain would be the first one.
No way.
But now that they're saying no,
they're like, no, there's this and then
there's Phantom Pain.
Yeah.
This is a pricing model and release
model, which I love.
Yes.
The small version and then the big
version and case zero for Dead Rising
2.
Zero.
It was what started it.
Oh yeah.
And that was the best one.
Yes.
And if we can get more of that,
great.
And like, yes, well,
I'm not paying $90 for both,
but the first part is still valuable
and awesome.
Case zero is fantastic.
And it also means that there are,
I know people who bought case zero,
beat case zero and said,
I'm done.
I don't need Dead Rising 2.
That's what I did.
Yeah.
And now imagine if your strut
and your tanker were separate from each
other back in the day.
Yes, too.
A lot of people would just play the tanker.
Right?
I'll be honest.
I think the big difference there is
that like the tanker is what?
Two hours tops.
Yeah.
Like round zeros is going to be substantially
very much.
Of course, hopefully.
But a lot of people are drawing.
Well, it's an open world.
There's no way it's not going to be short.
Do you know if they pad it out
like half an hour onto that
and sold it for like a couple bucks,
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
It's basically the same idea here,
prologue chapter,
then the meat.
Yeah.
Do you know what game
really would have benefited from that
if they had done that with RE6?
Oh yeah.
The main version would have.
It's probably been a lot smoother.
Yeah.
Where you feel the difference between each one
because it's actually a different,
and they improve the stuff that they did
last time.
Instead of we get the big,
huge pile of shit.
It's such a big game, too.
And then like six months later,
they fix huge problems,
but it's too late
because you already ate
the whole pile of shit.
Yeah.
So if they had made like a small pile of shit
that you'd be like,
I can go for some more shit later.
Yeah.
But then the new shit was good.
Yeah.
You roll it back to 400 guys.
Yeah.
Then you roll it back to 200 guys.
You dial it down.
Yeah.
But you ate too much shit too fast,
and now you just got shit on your face.
Hey, but we sprinkled a bunch of like
good tasting stuff on the big pile of shit.
You want to eat now?
Like mercenaries?
No, I'm not.
Yeah.
Spoken like a true poet.
Yeah.
Also, I love Resident Evil,
and now I compare it to eating shit.
Just one last thing on Ground Zeroes.
I'm a bit bummed by the pricing where
it's $20 digital for current gen.
$30 physical for current gen.
$30 digital for next gen.
No physical for next gen.
Actually, and I say dollars, but I mean pounds.
Welcome to the fucking future, man.
But that really bones me out that
there is a physical for current gen,
but there isn't one for next gen.
Welcome to the world of like a fan like me
that'll buy a physical and then get the next gen.
No.
Oh, yeah.
I'll do it too.
But current gen one is probably fucking huge.
Yeah.
And they want to sell it to everybody.
So like, it's probably gonna be like 15 gigs
or something, current gen.
Can you fit that on your 20 gig hard drive?
How many fucking copies of MGS do you own, Matt?
MGS one?
Yeah.
I have like four.
I have like, there's a shelf in my library
dedicated to the multiple copies of MGS.
I own two physical MGS ones
and then one digital MGS one.
That's true.
And then I own two.
I own each of them like three times.
Exactly.
That's what I was getting.
Same here.
And plus PC versions.
By the time this gen is over.
Yeah.
And physical and digital.
By the time this gen's over,
we'll own seven discs that I'll say MGS-V on them.
Yeah.
Probably one.
Yeah.
One more release of Snake Eater Plot.
I'm not gonna buy any discs.
I'll take them.
We got one more.
I have every.
I'm going for it.
I'm going for it.
I don't have your version of MGS-3.
That's the only one I don't have.
Which one?
The one that you won't say how much you paid for it.
Oh, the red box.
Oh, here's the red box.
No one has the red box.
You paid like 200 bucks for it.
Fuck you.
That's the only one.
And you didn't even watch the thing that came with it.
I did.
Oh, that's so good too.
I did actually.
It's actually not that great.
No, it's bad.
You know, I liked it a lot.
It's better to just watch the cutscenes on YouTube.
Like it's a better edit than what was in the box.
No.
So Command and Conquer.
Fucking gone.
Yeah.
So if you guys haven't heard about this, the headline is EA cancels free to play Command
and Conquer closes development students.
So wait, wait.
EA canceled a beloved franchise entry that people had been anticipating.
Because there is more.
Sure.
When Liam says you're jumping the gun, you better believe it.
I guess so.
You're a light stepping over that.
It's the master gun jumper.
They made a Command and Conquer game that they morphed into a free to play game.
And no one liked it.
It was supposed to be a successor to Generals, which is the most played.
It's like the counter strike of Command and Conquer.
It was called Generals 2.
I believe it was.
And it was free to play.
And everyone was like, this sucks.
I hate this.
Everything in the beta was like, this sucks.
You cancel this game.
You can go find the threads.
And then they just straight up went, we heard your cries.
This is not the Command and Conquer game you wanted.
Not only are we canceling it, we're killing the studio.
That's a little overboard.
You should take that a step back and say the person who said that was the guy in charge of the development studio.
Not yet.
We're closing our own development.
I didn't actually catch the closing development studio bit.
The studio shut down.
But it was the developer guy who went out and said, we are shutting down the game.
I don't know that he said we're closing it down, but I know for sure he was the one who was like, it was bad.
Pat onto you.
I got a quick question.
What's the name of that dev studio?
Victory Studios.
Victory Studios.
So here's the weird path this poor studio has gone from.
It used to be Mythic.
Then when Bioware was on top of the world, they became Bioware Mythic.
Then Mass Effect 3 happened.
And suddenly, at some point, which I'm not familiar with, they became Victory Studios.
Right.
And when that Mass Effect 3 stuff happened, you remember they were renaming every studio to Bioware or something.
And the joke was, I wonder how many of these are going to keep their name.
But this is the most obvious one, and now this studio is gone.
Yeah.
What a lot of the cry was about was some of the really bad economy systems they had going.
Purchases and in-game credits and all that stuff was just not great.
Out of whack with reality.
And when you think about a Command and Conquer type game and units and just any kind of RTS, you can see that getting out of control.
Well, it's a worse flip than Devil May Cry at DMC.
Because a perishable unit is costing you money.
Especially how it works.
No, I'm not saying in a nightmare world, like every click is money.
Each tear and it gets fucked by a zerg is a penny of your hard-earned cash.
And you get to skip the loading time or the creation time of your unit by paying down.
That's not what I'm saying this once.
Command and Conquer has hurt a lot more by free-to-play elements because part of the core of Command and Conquer is Tank Rush.
Is pump out way more units, way faster than the other guy.
And anything that touches that in any way breaks the fucking game.
So free-to-play elements like 5% faster build time.
Well, it's like that guy's going to win.
Why don't they just make another one with Rick Flair in it again?
I don't know.
Because the most fun I've ever had with Karanikonker was Red Alert with a hack that you can customize whatever units do.
So you make the Helicopters shoot Tesla's apps and dogs can jump across the map and eat people.
So Command and Conquer rainbow edition.
Absolutely, for matching service.
The reason why I brought up that thing about EA though is because EA just canceled a Road Rash next-gen Road Rash game for no reason.
Yeah, you're right.
And then they ruined some city and then it's just like one after another these giant fuck-ups.
They've named their download service Origin for fuck's sake.
Have you seen Titanfall?
It runs in 720p.
Yeah.
So I'm going to drop a quote and you guys have to tell me who it's attributed to.
Uh, attributed to.
Attributed to.
That's different.
I'm an asshole.
Please continue.
Wow, we won like a million awards from these scam artists.
That is from Notch.
Yeah.
And why did he say it?
He said it because he got an email.
I believe it was, who was a PC gamer?
It was Zip Davis.
Zip Davis saying, hey man, you won a bunch of awards.
Do you want to pay us so that you can use the image of these awards?
And you pay us and we'll let you call your game Game of the Year even though it won Game of the Year.
You won the trophy, but you can't take it home.
It's a total fucking scam.
It is disgusting.
So bad.
Is it a fake scam or is it actual?
No, it's real.
It's real.
So Notch, the creator of Minecraft, Minecraft won a billion awards.
Yeah, from all bunch of places.
And PCMag, owned by Zip Davis Media, got in touch with him and said, hey dude, we made you these.
We pre-arranged these logos for you.
Yeah, we have like the Game of the Year stamp.
And they weren't even PNGs, they were just JPEGs.
They were JPEGs.
The greatest insult.
If you want to use these.
If you want to use our official little logos.
You pay us.
You pay us.
Like a premium.
And you can pick which ones you want to use just before we've arranged for you.
Or you can do all things.
It is so fucking disgusting.
And it was like 500 bucks a box.
And I want to be clear.
This is not them saying, hey, give us money and we'll name you your game.
Yeah.
This.
No.
But it is, however, the likelihood that the ability to sell these logos.
To people influencing the decision.
Yeah.
Cannot like, you can't quantify it, but it's still gross and weird.
The thing I hate about it the most is it's a petty amount of money.
Oh yeah.
It's not a dollar to just get a legal contract.
Yeah.
It's not $100,000 because they're scum.
It's 500 a pop.
Yeah.
It's such a petty amount of money.
500 a pop is scam money because they'll pay it.
Yeah, exactly.
That's a risky thing for them to do for such a small amount of money.
Exactly.
Or you can drop $6,000 on the all 13 and one special thing.
Yeah.
So not screen shot at that shit, shoved it up on here.
Yeah.
And everyone went, wow.
Scumbag to me.
I'm so glad you did that.
And they even showed the little bar graph at the bottom.
The metrics, yeah.
Exactly.
Of the metrics of like how their stuff and material is seen the most worldwide.
Which is certain.
The stats just basically say, this is the weight that our stamp of approval brings.
And this is how petty we are for your balance.
I am not saying that anyone who works for those companies under an editorial capacity
has their integrity compromised.
I'm not saying that.
What I am going to say, however, is that how can you ever trust those people ever again
that they are in a company that sells credibility?
Wait.
Why don't they even do this to mojit, like when they already have millions of players
and it's already a giant success.
Like it doesn't matter to them anymore.
Well, because in reverse, people will look at that and say, oh, it's PC gamer.
Look, it's PC gamer.
Right.
It works in a bizarre reverse.
Because Minecraft reaches more people than PC, whatever.
It's scummy.
It's so sad.
Don't go to their website.
It's like you think they would have studied Notch a bit more before they did this.
A little bit.
On the very least.
Hey, let's send this thing to this guy who does whatever he wants.
He'll play our game.
And now we can play the game of let's go back in time, find any box that has one of these
logos on it.
And be suspicious.
And go, oh, what they pay.
This is why I wish Phil Fish was still around.
Because he also was a straight shooter.
It's not what the game's supposed to be.
A little G straight.
No.
He was a complete asshole.
Totally.
He'll be back.
He'll be back.
He'll be back with the Phil Fish LP.
I actually, I loved his brutal, like, stupid honesty.
Because it's like you're digging your grave, but like this is great.
This is like, we hear all these bullshit PR people fluffing it up.
And it's nice to have that one guy who speaks his mind.
He was David Jaffe with the French accent.
Yeah.
See Phil?
The truth is, he's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
He's a great guy.
Yeah.
See Phil?
The trick is, PR people didn't use racial slurs though.
Whatever.
Whatever.
David just fluffed my dick.
Choke on it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's not appropriate.
Although it was funny.
And then the words that came afterwards, you know.
Oh, no.
He was awful.
He can't call people Nazi faggots.
He can't do it.
No, no.
It's not awful.
It's not endorse.
But boy, do we need that kind of person.
Just not with someone that's crazy about you.
Slightly evil.
Slightly evil.
You mean you want the crazy motherfucker on the hill.
That you can go, wow, look at that crazy motherfucker.
Yeah.
Well, you know what?
I think Itagaki served that purpose.
Absolutely.
Until he started groping up chicks.
Jaffee served that purpose.
Itagaki filled that purpose.
Come here a little bit.
Fish filled that purpose.
Once fish disappeared, all of a sudden we're all scrounging.
Camilla's tweets way harder.
Yeah.
What do you got?
I feel so bad for the guy.
I think it was like today or yesterday.
Someone asked like, can you confirm Bayonetta too is only on Wii U?
And his only, his tweet back was, fuck you, ask Ninty in caps.
Like, it's like people don't know.
People don't get it.
And they click on this thing.
They scroll down twice.
Yeah.
And then they go, oh, no one's asked this.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, no one's going to read 50,000 tweets.
Yeah.
But that's what I was about to get at which the trick fill is to not read the comments.
And therefore you don't get into the fights.
Something that Matt and I could learn.
Try not to read the comments.
Matt and I could learn from that lesson.
You guys read the comments way too much.
I stopped.
No, that's not true.
I read them.
I just don't get into the bathroom.
My sister was watching Indie Game the movie on Netflix.
And she said, hey, I'm reading.
I'm watching this thing about these two guys.
There's this guy called Jonathan Blow.
I know the guy called Phil Fish.
This thing's really interesting.
Have you heard about it?
I go, well, yeah, too bad the Phil Fish guy went crazy.
And she goes, yeah, actually, now that I'm watching this, this guy seems really unstable.
And I was like, wow, that's in the movie.
Can you actually see that?
I've never actually seen that.
You should actually watch it if you have it because it's good.
It is good.
And then give her the adenom of what happened.
I did not.
I did not for good reasons.
I always liked J-Blo more than Phil Fish.
J-Blo.
Yeah.
That's pretty good.
And J-Blo with a J name.
J-Lar.
J-Blo.
J-Blo.
Just abbreviate it.
Yeah.
He's a weird, like, hippie, super indie guy.
He's great.
But Brayd was really good.
I love this story.
It was way better than Fizz.
Yeah.
I love this story where he just sat there.
Oh, yeah, man.
The witness.
It's for the witness.
When he first came to PAX, he sat and he set up a witness demo.
A really old, old bill.
But yeah, this was a long time ago before he barely announced it.
And he didn't tell anyone what it was.
There was no signs.
It was just, it was running on, I believe they described it as not a tower, but like
a horizontal, like, PC head.
Like a kiosk.
And a little desk.
And he just sat there next to it.
And you would wander over and go, hey, what's this?
And he'd just kind of look at you and go, huh?
Yeah.
And you sit down and you start playing.
And then he wouldn't say anything to you if you had questions.
Yeah.
He wouldn't ask you anything.
Right.
He'd just watch you play.
And then you'd get up at some point and be like, is this all?
And then he'd just kind of look at you and go, huh?
He's looking for feedback.
But that's like, that's the best.
I love that.
Besides just how great that attitude is in that one specific thing, you know, he's analyzing
this shit.
It's an air of pretentiousness in the most awesome way possible.
He's a good guy, but you know, he has five bikes in his doorway.
Not bad.
They're all hybrids.
They're all hybrids.
Yeah.
Speaking of run on fart gas.
Probably.
The smell of smug farts.
Exactly.
The smell of smug farts are so powerful.
Zynga.
What?
There's new Zynga again?
Yeah.
Speaking of scam artists.
Didn't they just die?
Zynga wins in copyright suit against Mattel over Scramble with Friends.
Dude.
So Mattel?
That's outrageous.
Mattel took Zynga to court because Zynga made a game called Scramble with Friends.
And the logo was wooden fucking tiles with letters on them.
Explicitly similar maybe to a game called Words with Friends.
Well, there's another one too.
Yeah.
Perhaps more than that.
Pat.
Perhaps Scramble.
Hey man, there's a lot.
And so, I can't know all the games.
Scramble the game.
Scramble your childhood.
Oh shut up.
And so, the case actually closes with the court ruling in Zynga's favor.
While saying that it's distinguished enough.
Well, China can get away with it.
Fuck.
Every one time to bail the fuck out of mobile.
Yo, I was going to say either mobile or board games.
Pick one.
But that's fucked, man.
And they're going to appeal?
Obviously.
Yeah, they are.
But holy shit, I can't believe you can get away with that.
And Zynga's like, holy shit, I can't believe we got away with that.
They're walking out sweating.
Let's throw around, start punching babies.
We're invincible.
Oh my god.
I remember once I downloaded this highly rated iOS game.
And it had a bunch of anime art, so I downloaded it on a whim.
If you're an iOS designer and you do that, I'll buy your game.
But I downloaded it on a whim.
And as I'm booting it, and I'm like, I wonder what this is.
There's a Zynga logo.
And I'm like, what?
They stooped this low?
And I played it for like a few minutes.
And jeez, it's just a reskin of any of those shitty games.
I welcome to mobile gaming.
There's some good ones out there.
That sounds like it.
That's the good news for Zynga.
But to be fair, it's been after like a year or two years now
of just non-stop fucking doldrums and bad news for Zynga.
I'm sure after they had, because they had a huge slip,
I'm sure after that it's actually probably kind of stabilized a little bit.
There's only one place to go from here.
Everyone rumored no one believed Zynga x Silver Dollar.
Of course.
Oh yeah.
I just think Zynga's a more successful Silver Dollar.
Zynga's a more successful LJN.
Kind of like Capcom's a more successful SNK.
The whole point is that, you know, we got them,
and now we're going to propagate before they can learn the terrible secret
that the game is trash.
What game?
And the idea is that you'll propagate fast enough
that your spread of your product will beat the word that your product is bad.
I'm imagining the end of their GDD.
Their game design documents is literally the words,
we got them.
Every single one.
And they stamp it with a stamp that says, got them.
And their whole company, like their bottom line crashed
because the market stopped growing and people caught up and found out
and everyone stopped playing Zynga games.
If you can actually recreate their games,
I believe, well you could probably do this for us,
you could probably recreate any one of their games in Excel.
Oh yeah, no problem.
It's the same thing to happen to draw something, right?
It's like for that one.
It's a fad and then people...
Good for that one in Excel, you got me.
It's a fad and then people find out and they go,
oh this sucks actually, I'm not going to play it anymore.
And everyone does that at the same time.
But too late, got them.
And the game only costs like ten bucks to make.
Got your dick.
Dick with friends.
Dick with friends?
That's an iOS game.
I'm pretty sure it's already out there.
I forgot the name of it.
You're thinking of a different thing.
What the fuck was that weird Ubisoft sex game for the Wii?
All of the one where you do all these sex games.
It was like you'll get a Wii remote
and then the Wii will tell you to play some sensual games.
You stick the Wii remote in people's pants.
And it got super cancelled.
But the trailer did so much for laughter across America.
Don't worry, we stole the code so look forward to our playthrough.
I don't want to talk about this.
Ubisoft sex adventures the game.
Use the Moab technique on the Wii mode.
If anyone's familiar with Archer.
Also going on this week.
Hey man.
Fucking nana nana.
Goodbye to Uplay.
That made me genuinely...
No, not quite.
Okay, sorry. Let me clarify.
You need to be way more specific.
Ubisoft makes Uplay content for Assassin's Creed 4 free.
Service discontinued for all future games.
Now what that is, it is not the Uplay service being discontinued.
It is the premium content locked behind your Uplay games.
It is their bullshit online pass, but not really an online pass,
but it's still an online pass. Bullshit.
And people got Assassin's Creed 4 and said,
what's this little thing in the thing?
Oh, it's a fucking online pass.
Which you might remember I refused to sign up for a long ass time.
And something that Sony and Microsoft said there's no online passes going forward anymore.
So this one instead locked single player content.
And people said, this is bullshit, Ubisoft fuck you.
And Ubisoft went, we're afraid of word of mouth and crowdsourcing now.
I would like to think, we finally got a good Assassin's Creed on our hands.
I would like to think that some investor's son that played it on day one,
what is this?
It's so reasonable.
I like to think that.
I like to think it is the ongoing trend of,
it started with Street Fighter Cross Tekken,
where everyone yelled at Capcom and then Capcom said,
ah shit, we're sorry, we won't do it anymore.
It happened with the Xbox DRM.
It happened possibly with some of Sony's decisions with like HGCP and stuff like that.
And this is just the newest thing of publishers and game companies are realizing
that internet nerds do actually represent a larger group of people.
And that if enough of them are screaming at you that you suck,
you may want to change the thing.
I like the idea that microtransactions and things,
or at the very least any kind of monetization that people are,
it's like too far across the line, we can yell loud enough that they go,
oh fuck, okay, stop.
Take it, take it.
There's so many people yelling that we're never going to risk this anymore.
The money it'll make versus the money it'll subtract is not worth it.
I think that's why the Xbox DRM reversal is the greatest thing
that ever happened in the games industry.
Because I said look, Microsoft fucking reversed the biggest thing ever.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So Ubisoft and EA and Activision, you know, all these guys are like,
we should probably fucking listen to people if they're going nuts.
The whole phenomenon of going, oh shit.
The customers are angry, maybe we should do what they say.
But when I picture that, I always picture a company coming out of the shower
and they didn't know that someone was looking at them.
And then we took a picture of their dick.
Oh, okay.
I'm picturing a guy in like a suit holding a chair out on top of like a bookshelf,
like back, back, you know.
Right, right.
Yeah, lion tamer.
Someone's in here.
Yeah, no, exactly.
So thank you Ubisoft for not being evil for 10 seconds.
Yeah, and thank you for keeping the fun part of you play around.
Good call.
Please now get rid of you play.
Yeah.
And please tell us that the rumors about Project Osiris being Assassin's Creed Egypt are true.
Okay.
So have you heard about Project Osiris?
Yeah, I have.
I have from a source.
Okay.
I met someone on the down low.
I met someone that has sort of knowledge about it and he was like,
it is the coolest thing ever.
And I was like, that's super interesting.
Which version of it?
The version where it was Shadow of the Colossus in Egypt.
Yeah.
Like that was the version I was told.
Because it's been through many different iterations.
At some point it was Pop Zero, which was the Prince of Persia.
Prince of Persia 2008, Pop Zero.
Yeah, there was a bunch of them.
Industry folk call it Pop Zero.
Industry folk call it Pop Zero, yeah.
But call it that shitty Prince of Persia game.
But you actually don't know one of the best ones.
Yeah, that's shitty.
I love it.
That has no gameplay.
That has no gameplay.
But it's so pretty.
You know the one you can't die in and has like Simon Says for platforming?
It is not the failure of a game designer.
Ending problems were fixed.
Exactly.
It was really fun though.
With DLC.
But no, this is apparently somewhere nice.
Had just tied his headphones too tightly around his wrist?
No, I'm safe now.
He's turning blue.
No, I didn't kill myself guys.
But they showed off what seemed to be a leaked screenshot of some kind.
These were found like about a year ago.
Remember Pop Zero was revealed months before it was ever revealed.
Because someone just grabbed art from Ubisoft servers.
So this is the same thing.
Someone just found these screenshots.
But in the game there's emails that corroborate the idea that this might actually be a real
AC4.
You mean in AC4?
In AC4.
There's another one too.
I don't know if you caught this one.
So months and months and months ago, after the success of Liberation on Vita, which was
a success, numerically it was, there was rumors going around of Assassin's Creed Rising Phoenix
for Vita.
And a couple European retailers put it up, which was like, oh shit, look, someone is
putting up a Vita game for some reason.
Anyway, and in Assassin's Creed 4, Rising Phoenix is one of the ones that appears.
And it's like, why are they putting this up?
But that could be either like, hey everyone, yeah, remember, that could be just a game
horrible Metroid Dread Easter Egg and Metroid Prime.
But didn't Rising Phoenix actually turn out to be a title of a book?
No, it didn't turn out to be anything yet.
Well, I was going to say Metroid Dread was actually in development at some point.
But for some reason I thought Rising Phoenix might have been that really awesome concept
art of Assassin's Creed in China.
Was it?
I thought that's what it was because that art was amazing.
Was it maybe?
It was so cool.
I feel like every Assassin's Creed game we get that's not in Japan causes me to hate
Assassin's Creed.
Yeah.
Sure.
Or China.
Or China.
You know what, fuck it.
I'll just, I'll broaden it out to Asia.
Yeah.
And Asia's cool.
Ancient Chinese cities better fits Assassin's Creed.
Yeah, sure.
Do they got, do they got swords?
Yes, of course.
Then I'm good with it.
I know we saw this has said on record Japan, Asia, Japan cities are, they're all just
the same thing and then a giant palace.
Yeah.
Like that's it.
You can't, it's hard to make it out.
I know, but they figured it out with three in the trees.
Amen.
Four in the boats.
It's true.
We played way in the Samurai 4 that had buildings.
It didn't.
Yeah.
Or fucking let me climb in Russia on the fucking.
I want that game.
Right?
That's the game.
Like the Kremlin.
The Kremlin.
I was going to say the buildings like the Kremlin.
The way that they had the building.
One of the 10-year-olds.
The Tetris buildings.
Yes.
I'm so entitled to the tower.
Necrostage.
Necrostage.
I want to crawl around Necrostage and do aerial assassinations.
But, but yeah.
Those aside was really upset.
Go read the fall.
No.
It's, it's actually really good.
It's better than more than most Assassin's Creed games.
Matt lent it to me for over a year and I didn't read it.
Wow.
I'd love to have it back.
I totally gave it to you.
I don't have it.
Shit.
Anyway.
Kind of like my Street Fighter comics fucker.
I gave those back to you.
Eventually when I came over and found them.
No, I gave them to you.
Those aside was screenshots.
Now they look like they're an Assassin's Creed game.
There's a, there's tons of people looking at your main hero guy.
And there's the fucking pyramids right there.
Yeah.
Like.
Yeah.
Like some, a bunch of fuckers just broke into the pyramids.
Like security barrier and like crawled the pyramids and took pictures of themselves recently.
So it can be done.
Oh yeah.
You can hold our tea and press forward and just get to the top.
Yeah.
I hope they do the pyramids right though.
Cause back when the pyramids were built, they were super perfect and golden and had diamonds
and shit all over.
You want them to be all crumbly.
Shit.
No, they can't look all crumbly if they're in the old times.
They look beautiful.
Yeah.
Like the sphinxes nose is a sink point and then you jump off and fuck it up.
This week as well, you got that really cool article.
You actually sent me that.
I like that.
Which one, man?
I sent you a lot of articles.
Okay.
The one that was not about fucking resolution gate.
I don't remember.
Crazy person.
You have to tell me.
Please, please say what it is.
What is the article?
Video games protect against mental illness.
Oh yeah.
Mental illness.
Yes.
This was a study that was done and it was actually written up into a really big research paper.
That's legit.
Yeah.
This was entered into like.
This is a proper study.
Yes.
And I had to get my girlfriend to use her university access.
To look at her.
To reach the paper.
Which I did get.
I could only read the abstract unfortunately.
Yeah.
They did.
They released the abstract.
They released the layman's version of it.
And it's pretty awesome.
Long story short, they had a control group that did not play any video games.
They had a test group that played half an hour Mario a day.
Yeah.
I believe.
Yes.
And then they tested them on various stimuli and found out that what was the exact finding?
Because I remember the end result like the extrapolation.
Basically brain regions responsible for spatial orientation and memory formation and strategic
planning and motor skills are all massively improved.
And they gained.
Yeah.
Now I remember they gained gray matter.
Yes.
Like physical increase in brain size.
And they looked at that and said, hey, this is a process which increases your brain matter.
Which is important, especially with degenerative brain diseases such as Alzheimer's.
Right.
And if you have any kind of psychiatric disorders, it's also really good because it does that
while being therapeutic.
And you like playing Mario.
Yeah.
So the sample size was small.
It was only 30, I believe it was like 30 people.
It was not thousands.
It was a relatively small and extrapolated results for something like this.
You know, in terms of illness, you can't prove it.
Now you'd have to take like a 20 year long study of gamers versus non-gamers.
But early results are promising.
Exactly.
And the results were quantifiable in an MRI.
Yes.
Not statistical noise.
No.
It was above the level of significance statistically.
Yes.
Cool.
So this is pretty important and awesome.
And the worst case scenario of this is that all it does is increases gray matter in terms
of playing Mario specifically.
Yeah.
Right.
And that is a, for everything else is a neutral result.
The best case scenario is that it increases your overall planning, spatial awareness,
et cetera, regions and does help protect against schizophrenia and other degenerative diseases
like Alzheimer's.
This is the big one, really.
And I mean, not to detract, but just if I can bring it back down to like what sucks about
journalism and games is that like when, how often do these things get publicized?
How often do these things really come out?
This was an article.
Resolution gate.
Yes.
Like that's what you're going for?
I was going for violence in video games.
Yeah.
You know, the point where school shootings happen and like Obama has to come in and go,
no, we're going to do a study on this, but no.
Your beef is more along the lines of actual journalism, not games journalism.
You're right.
You're right.
Sorry.
Yes.
And yeah, it sucks.
And Jack and those fuckers.
The whole thing.
You know.
Jack.
Yeah.
So you get fat and you die from heart disease, but you won't go crazy.
Yeah.
Thanks.
Don't you still talk about video games?
Thanks.
We'll have friends.
The other thing that says that your brain matter decreases if you play Vectorman for too long.
I can vouch.
Concentrated amounts of Vectorman.
Don't use the specky too much.
The more you read comics, the more you die inside.
Your body just degrades into nothing if you play the spectrum.
That's what I'm saying.
Only if you call it the specky, though.
The specky.
Oh, fuck that.
Fuck that.
Hey, what are the guys over at Bachamania up to?
They are making probably the raddest Kickstarter of all time.
Sorry, what's Bachamania?
Why don't you tell us about it?
Wait, he asked a good question.
What is Bachamania?
Bachamania is a great YouTube series made by a guy named Matthew slash Matthew.
Matthew is his actual handle.
I thought his real name was Matthew.
It's a series that we steal all our jokes from.
No, no, no, no.
It's the series that makes me love wrestling again.
It's just every time a wrestler has ever botched a move and they put the best video game music,
like the best video game music, and there's like 200 of these videos.
Bad promos, screwed up moves.
And my favorite part about it is that it's laced with 8-bit music,
and like sometimes random obscure clips like the versus match-up screen in Marvel 3
that just played a minute ago.
Every time a table doesn't break, they zoom in on the table and drop a video game laugh over it.
While painting it to look like an evil table.
It is one of the most specific forms of humor I've ever seen in my life.
Because you need a very specific appreciation of wrestling in terms of ha-ha wrestling
and old-ass video games.
Combined in this kind of weird mix that just for me and for the rest of you guys,
oh, it's just so perfect, it's so good.
Totally dead on.
Dare I say this inspired Russell Mania.
It did inspire Russell Mania.
Considering how...
I would say if it did not exist, Russell Mania either wouldn't have happened or would have happened way later.
Yeah, and been lame-er.
And been lame-er.
Because every time we come over here to record something and we order some food,
when we're eating the food and waiting, what the fuck are we doing?
Watching the latest bocce made.
We were watching it today.
We had to stop to start this podcast, and that's bullsh-
We're gonna continue after it's done.
Why were we trying to get through this so quick?
They are marrying their love of wrestling and video games.
I'm making a giant encyclopedia of the history of wrestling video games.
Boched productions, I believe, is the name they're going under.
Boched productions, and it's just the W from WWE logo turned on its side to be a B.
That's great.
This is really good.
So did you put down the actual name of the Kickstarter?
Because it's a really long name.
Yeah, it's called Wrestling with Pixels, the world of wrestling video games.
The world tour of wrestling.
So what this is will be a giant book, digital paperback and hardcover.
Just cataloging every single wrestling video game.
Interviews with Suda51 about when he worked on Fire Pro.
Tons of stuff.
Wait, he did Fire Pro?
Oh yeah!
Damn!
He specifically wrote a controversial story beat and one of the Fire Pros,
one of the earlier ones, where the main wrestler after winning,
either winning or losing the belt, commits suicide.
I always ignored Fire Pro, but it all makes sense now.
I checked that out specifically.
You win, but you win against the villain that has somehow made you,
he's ruined your life.
And you've divorced from your wife and your life's gone to shit,
and he fucked your whole life up, but you beat him and you win,
and then your life is empty and meaningless, and you just fucking kill yourself.
Wow!
Suda51 wrestler, yo!
So I threw some money at this.
We might do maybe a little funny video to help support it.
It's got a really decent goal.
It's like 18k.
Oh, that's magical.
And they're also talking, don't forget, they're talking to actual wrestlers as well,
on their opinions about wrestling video games.
That's a good topic.
Unheard of interviews.
I would love to see that.
And oddly enough, I scroll down the list and someone I used to work with
just happens to be a graphic artist on this.
Also, a creative director that worked on Minecraft,
he's like the artistic director at Mojang,
and he was the guy that drew the picture of Hagar suplexing the shark.
Powerbombing, yeah.
Exactly.
It's so weird.
It's like, here's a little cross bit of all this.
Man, Botchamania touches us all.
Yeah.
You're talking about Junkboy.
Yeah, Junkboy.
He's wearing a luchador mask in his picture.
Exactly.
So Matthew and Junkboy are on this, as well as a couple of other guys.
Check it out, support it.
It sounds really cool.
There's a DVD, there's a podcast, there's an art book.
At the very least, check out Botchamania.
At the very least, check out Botchamania, yeah.
Oh, it's so good.
Some of the other names that people are talking to include, yeah,
Suda51, Mick Foley.
Nice.
Samoa Joe.
THQ staff.
Fuck THQ staff, right?
Yeah.
Dug them out of the ground, and I asked them some questions.
The specific Aki engine stuff in this book.
Right.
By the way, credit goes to Liam for actually finding this kickstart.
I saw this last week.
You never told it.
You didn't say anything.
He told me.
Oh my god.
Like, you're actually doing credit to Liam.
Hey, credit goes to Liam.
That's fine.
Don't block his shine, you mother fucker.
I'm not blocking his shine.
I just assumed that as the arbiter of all Botchamania news,
you were on top of this shit.
I thought it would have been an insult to bring Botchamania news.
Matt was busy working.
Oh, you just play the company line.
He pays the bill.
I was busy watching him work.
Hang me up to dry.
That's what's going on with that.
What else is going on this week, will they?
Did you see that they're making a sequel to Gunslinger Stratos?
I did.
Isn't that exciting?
What do you think of those character designs?
Which ones?
The ones not by Tetsuya.
Why would you be excited about this?
Why are you talking about this thing you'll never get to play?
Because maybe.
Because maybe you'll never get to play.
You'll suddenly ask someone if this will ever come over
and they told you no.
So, look, Gunslinger Stratos looks like
it's basically a really cool Japanese arcade game.
Stop.
Stop.
No.
It's never going to come out.
To be fair, this is like us telling you to shut up about Yakuza.
Yeah, but Yakuza have come out here.
Hold on.
Yakuza games have come out here.
But Gunslinger Stratos won never fucking came out.
That's what he said.
He said they'll never come out.
And the GunCon system did exist.
Oh, you guys are shit.
So, look, anyway, it's kind of like a,
it's a giant battle arena gun thing going on.
It reminds me of Guns, which I loved.
The duel.
It looks kind of like Devil's Third in a little bit of a way.
Well, in a bit of a way, the action flows, yeah.
But as far as the graphics, it looks a lot more like,
it's like in modern Japan.
Yeah, you're running around the future Japan.
You're running around downtown Tokyo, basically.
And like, you're super jumping
and doing like Dragon Ball style air battles with guns.
Looks slick.
You're holding, like it's an arcade cabinet, right?
And you're holding two big guns.
Does it look better?
And you put them next to each other in different positions
to make different weapons in the game.
Does it look better?
Because the first game was like,
wow, this kind of older looking game.
Significantly improved.
You just wanted to come out here,
so you have another game you can get good at
and try and beat Daigo.
I was gonna say.
Yeah, Daigo plays it now.
But it looks really good.
So the fun thing today was they announced
four new characters in the new game.
In the game, you'll never get to play.
Two of them were designed by Tetsuya Nomura
and two of them were designed by an X Capcom artist.
And X-Tree fighter artist, rather.
X-Tree fighter, specifically.
Does it look like Skullomania?
And they show off the four characters
and they go take a guess who was done by who.
And the top two are these pretty calm, slick, realistic.
Obviously by one of the guys.
With some belts and straps a little bit.
And then the bottom two are just bright pink, colorful.
Tits.
Like yeah, tint windows and alternate costumes
for Julia, basically.
Yeah, dude it's like Tina or what's her face
from Den of a Life.
Yeah, sure, sure.
I was going, oh I'm interested.
Did you just use the phrase tint windows?
Yes.
Power girl.
Power girl.
Oh man.
Boob window.
That's a thing.
Oh god, that's terrible.
It's usually called boob window.
After shirts have boob windows.
Boob windows.
My shirts?
Yes.
Well then.
What did you think those were?
I thought they were design.
This looks just like my chest.
Yeah.
Making boob window shirts with Pat and Liam.
That's not going up on the channel.
No it's not.
It's already, implying that it's already made.
It's uploading now.
Oh no.
How'd you get that footage?
Anyway.
Yeah.
It looks really good though.
I'm just going to, I want it every time.
Just a little bit maybe.
I mean next time you go you'll play it.
No.
Yeah.
That's it.
What would you do if it was announced for like Japanese PSN store?
Like that's it.
I would acquire a Japanese PSN account.
The fortunate thing about Japanese PSN is it's really easy to get onto.
Yeah.
I got one.
Yeah.
Next time.
Oh sorry.
Yeah, no.
I sounded like there was more.
No.
What's your Japanese account name?
Mine is Wolves vs Japan.
Mine is Wolves.
It doesn't matter because if anyone adds me I'm not going to add you back.
Well if you know what my username is on regular stuff.
It's the same thing but one number lower.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
Exactly.
I can't give it away.
I can't give it away.
I don't know how you can mention it.
We'll ask before.
Hey Pat, what's yours?
I'm not going to tell you.
What is it?
It's so bad.
I'm making a silly smile.
He can't say it.
Let's not tell.
I can't say it.
Say it but get one thing about it wrong.
I can't.
Everything about it is terrible.
What did you make your Japanese account for?
I'll tell you later.
I don't know.
Yeah.
I'm downloading Yakuza 3 demo.
Me too actually.
Yeah.
That's okay.
I can't say it.
Mine was made for getting Bandetta for Anakirins.
Oh okay.
Yeah.
That's true.
Wait.
On PSN?
I remember.
I walked you through that process.
It was a total nightmare.
Yeah.
Iwana is unhappy.
Oh.
He saw this.
Unhappy with the 2014 results.
He's still laugh though.
Yeah.
And he says a major overhaul is not necessary.
I agree with him actually.
Yeah.
But major overhaul done.
But that's right on the edge of critical action must be taken.
Dude.
Yeah.
So I looked at the numbers man.
The numbers of Wii U sold in the past quarter is the most abysmal shit ever.
Yeah.
I believe.
I may be wrong.
I've read the numbers incorrectly off their report.
But what I saw appeared to say that in Europe and other regions they sold negative 20,000
Wii U's.
Oh no.
And that retailers were sending them back faster than they could be sold to customers.
Okay.
A drastic change is required.
Only in Europe.
Sales numbers I hope would be one to one with wonderful one to one.
Yeah.
You would hope but it did terrible.
You know the fortunate thing for a Nintendo turnaround.
They always do.
And they will.
But what's the term?
Desperate Nintendo is best Nintendo.
Exactly.
When they sell a $60 game they get like $37 to $40 out of that.
Whereas any other company gets like $25.
And if they get lucky they sell like $17 million Mario cards.
And if they sell it digitally they get $60.
Are you saying that when Nintendo's in a pinch situation they ropa-dopa.
But like you know they'll clutch it out.
And next year Smash is coming out.
X is coming out.
Bayo 2 is coming out.
Yoshi is coming out.
I disagree with you.
I think they'll do fine.
Yeah.
I think the Wii U would absolutely be like a profit.
Over time it will be fine.
It will be a profit.
And it will be fine.
But I totally foresee it being the GameCube of GameCubes.
Because I fully expect the X-Bone or the PS4 to clear the entire life-to-date Wii U sales this holiday season alive.
I 1000% agree.
I have a feeling PS4 is going to beat Wii U life-to-date sales within a month.
Sure.
And it will never ever be in terms of numbers.
A contest between the two.
But they have a secret desperation move.
Yeah.
And they have an Oki.
Oh.
F-Zero?
Not quite.
Try again.
SMT times Fire Emblem?
Oh yeah.
F-Zero?
SMT across Fire Emblem.
I don't know about that.
That's a fucking...
Two niche games.
You realize SMT like on the best day sells 250,000 units.
And Fire Emblem wishes it could do that well.
Well Fire Emblem did do that well.
Fire Emblem actually did better.
And it's the best selling Fire Emblem of all time.
So...
I mean between that...
I thought you were joking.
I thought you were going to talk about something else.
No.
I was going to say between that and X.
You don't think they could push...
No.
No.
Those are niche.
Those are the least valuable titles.
Those are the niches of niche.
Dude Mario Kart, if Mario Kart can't do it...
Yeah.
Wooly, I know.
Mario Kart and Smash can do it.
I play these games.
And I know they're niche.
Yeah.
Right.
You know what you need?
It's going to need Dark Souls U.
Yeah.
With no...
No.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Exactly.
Honestly, they're just going to have to rely on their standards.
Which I'm not complaining.
If you're going to give me Zelda, I'm not complaining.
Zelda Smash...
3D World looks awesome.
Metroid...
Smash looks awesome.
3D World looks so good.
Pulled out a good Zelda game for the first time in like 10 years.
Exactly.
Obviously, you know, Bayo looks amazing.
X and...
No, basically...
It would honestly...
Okay.
All niche things aside, it would take a first party game and nothing shy of that.
It needs to blow out Hyper Mario plus Zelda.
Yeah.
Mario Kart...
X Metroid.
22 million copies.
Thank you for saying that again.
Star Fox Cross Metroid.
I wish that was a thing.
I really wish it was.
Yeah.
I wish you would shut up.
What was it?
What was it?
Never standing up about it.
Never standing up about it.
Star Fox is fighting to get off the planet while Star Fox is fighting to get on it.
I will never shut up about that one.
You know, and I'm sure, like, you know, if the Wii U does pick up a bit, it's never going
to get number one.
It's going to be just in third.
But if it does pick up a bit, I'm sure it'll get some decent cool third party exclusive
at some point too.
I don't believe you.
One or two.
Or three.
Thank you.
One or two or three.
In the entire generation.
Yes, exactly.
It's the same way that House of the Dead Overkill, Mad World, Metal Gear Solid, the Twinsnakes.
You're already stupid saying that.
You're already stupid.
The Wii One will have more third party.
Yeah.
The Wii has way more third party stuff.
Because that wasn't the time where the Wii had huge sales and people were like, let's
make some money on this.
And then once they realized they couldn't, it just died.
It stopped.
I was going to list like three and that would be it.
Yeah?
Yeah.
You're going to get maybe four.
There will be less than three interesting third party exclusive games to the Wii U over
the entire generation.
Interesting, like big.
No, I mean good.
I mean interesting.
Interesting.
Like eight.
And when you say third party, you mean by a corporation, right?
Yeah.
Because fast racing NEO is probably going to be really good.
But I don't think that's what you're talking about.
Rayman would have been one of them.
I don't know.
I'm talking about stuff like Rayman.
Yeah.
That got taken away from the Wii U.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's going to continue.
Poor Wii U.
No, for sure.
Continue to be a bummer.
You know, the Wii U is great and I think we all quite like it, but it's unfortunate
that it is in this situation.
I like the Wii U.
I hate the gamepad.
That's okay.
So how do we resurrect Yamauchi and just get them to...
No, he was...
He's tired of this.
But he knew what the fuck he was doing.
Did he?
Yeah, but he can't do that now.
His knowledge back then is useless now.
He's not applicable in this world.
He's also dead.
Well, a little bit of that too.
I'd rather bring back Gunpei.
No, he made the virtual boy.
Yeah, but he made Metroid.
Come on, dude.
Did he make Kid Icarus too?
I think he did.
I mean...
Kid Icarus was the best game of last year, according to one.
Gunpei and Shigeru together making games again.
I couldn't hear you over the sound of your brittle wrist breaking into powder.
I know.
How are your wrists?
They're better, but improving slowly because of my...
Are they better than saccharized wrists?
I'd love to have that comparison.
I haven't heard the telltale Velcro signs recently, but that's because we don't sit next to each other.
No, they've been getting a bit better.
That's why you two have no idea what's going on with each other.
Yeah.
Every time I'm like, why don't you just ask Woolly?
He sits right next to you.
No!
You're like, no, they separate us because we talk too much.
No, I sent him to the other side of the office.
Fuck you.
You wanted to go.
I wanted to go.
You and Sakurai should have an arm wrestling competition that combines your Kid Icarus wrist damage arms
and see whose arm just snaps off.
Only if I can play the Groose music at the same time.
Fuck you.
Skyward Sword is the best game in the world for having that song.
I hate Skyward Sword.
I love Groose's Z.
There is no argument to be had.
Gentlemen, yes, arcade sticks and next-gen and you.
Woolly, can you make me an arcade stick?
No.
He cannot.
I can't.
I can modify one, but I'm not making them from scratch anymore.
I don't have the time.
I'm sorry.
He's too lazy.
Woolly, what kind of arcade stick should I get?
You should buy yourself a Canva.
Right now, you should get nothing.
You can get a Mad Cat stick, too.
No, I mean-
Right now, you should get nothing, right?
I mean, you should wait two weeks.
Three weeks.
You should find out what the deal is going to be.
What's going on?
So what is the deal?
Because this news is kind of all over the place.
But here's what's up, guys.
It's so unclear.
So, we'll start with Sony.
Clarify my life.
Sony came out with a fact explaining the ultimate PS4, ultimate fact.
There's a lot of stuff in there.
It's a very good thing.
And what's relevant to sticks is this.
Stick compatibility for the PS4 will be up to the game dev.
So, outright, when you plug in your PS3 stick,
it's not going to work by default.
It will work as a non-specific input.
But if the game itself allows this part of the road,
then it'll totally work.
It's like how when I plug the DualShock 4 into my PS3,
I can get games to work with it,
because those games say,
ah, fuck it, it's an input.
I'll do it.
So, the thing is, though, is you'd have to think that games that matter
with peripherals will absolutely do this.
Fighting games, and rhythm games, and music games,
and dance games, and driving games, and everything.
Driving games and fighting games, I feel,
are like the two most cost-intensive ones.
And then everything else after that are all going to, by default,
support these things, because who the fuck would it?
So, it's all up to killer instinct and guilty gear.
I was going to say, who the fuck wouldn't Street Fighter 5
sponsored by Madcats?
Maybe.
You know, like, maybe.
Like, let's admit, Madcats, like, a large percentage of their money
is on sticks.
Probably.
I think you're underselling that.
So, probably.
A lot more than a large percentage of their money.
95% of their money.
Sticks, 5% shirts.
So next, Jen, if nobody's buying sticks,
Madcats has to kind of figure out something else,
and I don't think the mojo is going to work, so...
Pedometers.
Can we record a video of us going over to Madcats headquarters
with an N64 memory card, trying to return it,
because it doesn't work?
I have one!
I have a Madcats one.
So, this is a confusing clusterfuck of a game-by-game peripheral basis.
But the end result means that we are now entering
into an arms race between guys making converters
and the first fighting game to come out for, well, killer instinct
and the first PS4 game.
Well, hold on, sir.
Injustice.
Because you are now talking about a whole separate can of words, my friends.
Am I?
Yes.
Shit.
Because I was describing the Sony behavior entirely.
Oh, no.
Microsoft is totally different.
Oh, no.
360 joysticks, arcade sticks, everything, peripherals,
currently work.
They do?
Alright, they work in front of the work.
Yes.
There's video of a guy plugging it in.
And it works?
And it works fine.
Right now on the kits that they have.
But they've announced, or at least they previously announced,
that the Madcat stick is supposed to be an exclusive peripheral.
Yeah, exactly.
Therefore...
And the wording was never 100% clear on that either.
So, we don't know if that just means we're only making this stick for X-Bone,
or if that means this is the only stick that will fucking work.
Yeah.
So, the fear is that on day one, the switch will be flicked.
That makes what we're seeing in this video stop.
Yeah.
And suddenly, all those peripherals don't work.
Let me interject with you.
On the K.I. stream, the Microsoft Killer Inks stream that just happened,
someone asked Ken Lobb, and I believe he might know these things.
Ken Lobb seems like a legit guy.
He works for Microsoft.
They said, Ken, will I be able to play my 360 stick into Killer Inks?
He said, no, you will not.
Shit!
And this was last week.
Yeah.
Now, yeah.
Okay.
That sucks.
That's their whole deal together?
That's what you said, that a switch will get flicked.
So, what we now have is another situation where I believe it would behoove Sony
to figure out a system in which old sticks work,
so that they can slam Microsoft again,
and maybe MS will change their mind.
If the FGC gets pushed into a position where they have to choose between
the performance of a game on a console
and the ability to use their sticks on a different one,
that's going to be really ugly.
Well, the other decision breaker there is K.I.
Yeah.
Because where are you going to play K.I.?
You're not going to play K.I. on a PS4.
Sure.
Yeah.
But I mean, I'm talking about the theoretical Street Fighter V game.
Yeah.
Naturally.
But it gets super weird because on PC, the 360 pads will work.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Fucking weird.
No, you're right.
Like, what's going to happen?
Like, say a Guilty Gear Exert is supposed to come out,
PS3, PS4, and PC currently.
Is there a situation in which my stick will work on the PS3 and my PC,
but not the PS4?
That's possible.
That would be fucking nonsense.
It would be nonsense.
I agree.
If ArcSys decides not to give it to you.
They'll have that whorey deal.
And I know I'm the whore about it, so I'll just buy more sticks.
Yep.
But I don't want to.
Yeah?
That being said, I bought my Killer Instinct TE2 stick like two days ago.
Oh, did you?
I had a Dreamcast stick.
Wow.
Yeah?
Don't we all have Dreamcast sticks?
No.
Anything you can to avoid playing on the controller?
Sure.
But anyway, it's good.
I like that.
Yeah, no.
Just the controller for the Dreamcast is bad.
Keep that victory all coming.
That's kind of what I meant.
Yeah, it felt good when you shit-talked it.
Just vent them from the inside.
That's good.
That's good.
Uh, yeah.
Stay tuned to launch date to find out what the fuck-
Stay tuned to probable disappointment is going to happen.
I'm going to plug my fucking stick into dive kick and see what happens.
If they flick the switch, dude, that's-
I'll be sad.
But more than sad, people will riot and pitch for it.
Well, like ten guys will riot.
Ten guys will riot.
Well, by riot, I mean make a NeoGaff post.
But they'll riot like super hard and they'll be really hoon.
In that one post.
Yeah.
That's hip hop.
That's hip hop.
That's hip hop.
That's hip hop.
I'm going to sell more drugs to buy arcade sticks.
I really picture a rapper with a giant chain that has like a mad cat stick.
That's too-
He can barely rap.
That's too heavy.
Well, that's us in the streets and fucking scrub lords.
Yeah, that's kind of them.
Yeah.
Speaking of drugs.
What about them?
Guilty Gear.
Oh.
Yeah.
Guilty Gear is like drugs.
And there's characters that use drugs in Guilty Gear.
Yeah.
Dude.
May?
Oh, yeah.
No.
May uses those anti-growth drugs.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
And Bridget uses the drugs.
No.
Fucking Chip is a cokehead.
I didn't know that.
I thought that was a fox.
I thought that was a joke.
No.
That's not a joke.
Chip uses cocaine.
I did not know that.
Me neither.
He's also the president, apparently.
Yeah, he's been injured now.
So anyway, they showed off some cool new look test leaked footage.
And including Faust, who's confirmed and really good looking.
Yeah.
His intro was all, yeah, I know, I know, eh?
But you see his intro where he opens the door.
It's amazing.
He steps through it and then it's the door coming out of the ground as he steps into the stage.
They have redesigned Faust like they did in Potemkin.
Because Faust is perfect.
They already spent their redesign money on those two.
Well, Faust already is a complete changeover redesign from Dr. Baldhead in the original
Guilty Crush.
Sure, but at the same time.
To me, I'm like more money for biking.
Yeah.
More money for justice.
Hey, hey, but you know who else, if he's in there and didn't get redesigned because
he's so cool is Slayer.
Slayer's back.
Who Matt said would be cut last week.
No, I said if anyone, no one talks about Slayer.
Yeah, that's cool.
It's just no one you know plays Slayer.
But every time someone says, hey, what about Slayer?
You go, Slayer's so cool.
Yo, back dash punch.
Dashboard flash kick.
Oh, that is so cool.
Anyway, yeah, Slayer looking great.
Guilty Gear Exxard continues to, holy shit.
Leads in for the kiss in his intro and then goes for the fight and Sharon.
And then Sharon flaps away like a piece of paper in a magazine.
No, man, these intros, they're just intros, but they're my favorite like new fighting
game.
Absolutely.
Totally.
Totally.
By far.
I hope they're custom ones.
That's all I like.
Fight to fight.
Okay.
Like Kai and Soul.
Okay, yes.
Like all the whole rivalries.
Yeah.
And what gives me hope there is that you can barely make it out over the sound of the background,
you know, the loud arcade in this footage.
But when it's Milia versus Slayer, the assassin's rival track is playing during the match.
So they have continued to do that.
They are going to continue to do match specific music and hopefully match specific intros.
I'm expecting a whole new soundtrack, dude.
Well, that track is totally there.
Okay.
All right.
I can't wait to see the camera rotating in 3D around Johnny denying May just so that he
doesn't get put in jail for the fucking lollies.
I expect like mostly new soundtrack, but there will be some remixed old stuff like rival
themes and like new tide and stuff like that.
And I know you laughed at that, Liam, but the truth is May is 18 years old.
I know I'm aware.
18 years old.
I am blissfully aware.
No.
That's what Johnny says anyway.
No.
He says get away from me.
No.
He doesn't want none.
Yeah.
Dizzy is three years old though.
Yeah.
That's the weird one.
Yeah.
That's the weird one.
She's younger than Shio.
Yeah.
She's younger than I am.
Oh my God.
Oh no.
Yeah.
And the other thing going on is they released a little trailer for JoJo.
Yeah.
I don't know if you saw this, but not.
It's the first American trailer showing off just the characters from Stardust Crusaders,
Battle Tendency, and I don't look at trailers for JoJo.
Not anymore because every time someone says, yo check it out, there's a trailer for JoJo.
Sorry.
I remembered it and I had to read it out.
I know.
And lately every time I've seen a post or somebody sending me messages I check out this new JoJo
trailer and I go oh it's season three and I click on it and it's always like a WWE 2K13
intro match with created characters and the theme music from the first episode and I always
go ha that's fun.
X.
At least that plays better than the game of JoJo.
So what we're hoping to see with this is the removal of the microtransactions and all the
patches of gameplay that are happening currently still apparently they're making the game better.
Continuing to make us look stupid.
They're turning it up on its head, which I'm hoping for.
They saw your video.
And they were like we should make these guys look dumb.
We will reassess when it comes stateside, but until then yeah we will.
If it's a good fighting game by that time then hey.
It just seems to me even though the minute to minute gameplay didn't even seem that fun
to begin with.
We'll have to see.
Matt do you want to walk down this road?
You want to come with us?
We're already down here Matt.
It's nice and comfy.
I like being in the tower looking at you flaming around on fire down below so maybe I'll stay
where I am.
It feels great.
We set up a hammock.
Come on.
No.
Please join us.
Yeah, no.
But like the first thing I was looking for honestly was are there going to be any dubbed
voices in this trailer?
I hope not.
No, there was none.
Well, they confirmed it's just Japanese.
Okay, so subtitle the whole thing.
Oh, they're not even translating yet.
Yeah, subtitles all the way.
Okay, because that was a concern.
I was like I don't see Namco spending money on a hunt.
It sounds derisive like a fucking Namco, but at the same time it's like this is Jojo.
Like let's be real, we're lucky we're getting it.
Think about this.
Do we get English localization for voices for cross whatever, cross boring?
No, we did Namco cross boring.
Did we?
No.
We did not.
But you know what, for projects like this it's like it's wanted.
Yeah, but it's one of those things where they say are you guys okay with it?
And everyone goes yeah, we're okay.
Better in fact.
I remember when Yakuza 1 came out and was all dubbed and was like weird and awful.
And then Yakuza 2 came out and we don't have the money, let's just stop it.
And everyone, yay!
All those giant profits they made on the Japanese release would be spent making this dub that
all of us would turn off on boot effectively.
Maybe they'll understand one day.
I also like since I didn't mention it earlier, I just want to take a moment since throw it
in here, but I finished Diamond is Unbreakable.
You did, yay!
Yeah, no, that shit's crazy.
You need to get on episode 4.
Did they fix the scans?
All the way up until the last volume.
And then it becomes duang again.
It becomes duang again.
Well, I can wait a little longer.
I've waited this long.
Fine.
The last part is not abysmal though.
It's actually legible.
Nah.
But no, holy shit those chapters are a bit crazy.
Some of the dudes they introduced including Matt's favorite, but the guy in the radio
tower, like he's totally there and the new villain is nuts.
He's not Dio, but he's just fucking on that level of...
Is he a jerk?
You see a big jerk?
Does the radio tower guy have a name?
I forget.
I forgot the name at the name, but the radio tower is like once he lives in it.
He lives in it.
No, because he can't leave.
Stop talking about it now.
The radio tower doesn't let him leave.
And the only thing the radio tower can do is heal itself, right?
Yes.
So all he does is he like pounds nails into it and then it heals itself and shoots the
nails.
And like he pisses and shits off the edge and it fertilizes crops that he grows to eat.
It's super fucked up.
And like one of the villains is a dude in a Polaroid with a spear just flying around with
a thread.
It's great.
I really feel that JoJo characters are created with a bunch of words just chosen at random.
Like a dartboard.
Like a dartboard.
Or an album cover.
Or an album cover, sure.
Highway Star.
He's got all kinds of great names, man.
So I know, honestly, not that anyone's reading manga, but like if you guys pick up some manga,
go read some JoJo.
I buy manga.
I don't think they got that far.
They did not.
Is JoJo even still released in...
Only Stardust Crusaders.
I mean, if we're going to talk about manga...
But I mean, still released.
I should point out, Kentaro Mira says that Berserk is coming back soon.
For six new chapters.
I don't believe him.
No, no.
He takes a break to do this new thing that he's doing, which you must have read about.
I just read that the publisher of Berserk manga said yes.
Okay.
So Mira...
It's going to happen soon.
I just know when I think of Mira, I think of Idolmaster Channel that I downloaded a few
weeks ago.
Please stop talking about that in the same breath as Berserk.
I think of Rape Horse.
Of course you do.
Yeah, that's where your mind would go.
That would be your stance.
It's the great...
Wow!
Oh my god.
You talk about Rape Horse every single time.
It's the best moment of Berserk.
It's really not.
It's so best.
It's not.
That horse is evil.
But you don't say.
Yeah.
It's pretty bad.
It would be an independent stand.
You have no control over it.
Oh no.
Oh, those are bad.
But you still want to stop it?
Get on your conscience?
I'd have to fight my own stand.
Pat's evil Rape Horse stand.
We'll get the better of him.
No.
But what I was going to say is that Mira said he's doing a six-chapter miniseries.
Yeah.
He's taking a break to do something called Gigantomakiha.
I'm really glad.
I expect this one to take three years.
Yeah.
I'm really glad he's choosing to do something else because it's not like we're waiting
for anything.
He hasn't put out a single Berserk chapter in a year.
Yeah.
He did all those really weird mangas, like one called Japan and one called Wolf of the
Battlefield.
Yeah.
These two weird mangas that he collaborated with with the author of Fist of the North Star.
I think he's bored.
You know what?
What have you been?
I can understand you've done like 20, 30 years of Berserk.
You know a lot of Berserk.
A lot of it.
You know how you could have avoided becoming bored of Berserk?
My fucking finishing fucking Berserk.
Yeah.
That's how.
Yeah.
No, honestly.
By not putting me in a situation where I've been reading Berserk for like 15 years to
be nowhere.
The problem with the mangaka though and these things is that when they get to this level,
they're like, it's paying my bills now and why would I stop the thing that keeps the
lights on?
I don't care.
Yeah.
Because you've only got X amount of years left.
Make them count.
Because Masashi Kishimoto.
Because it will die before Naruto ends.
No, see, that's the thing.
I'm really afraid that Mura's going to die before Griffith gets it.
Okay.
Just as a clarification, when Paul goes a while ago, you said he was 61.
He's actually 41.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He looks old.
Well, Berserk has aged him.
41 is different than 61.
Well, exactly.
He's like 20 years old.
It's only a little off.
He's going to die before Berserk ends.
Yeah, but the wow years compound.
I guess so.
That also happens.
That's true.
That's why I look like this.
A year spent on wow is really five.
That's how this works.
That's why I look old.
Do you have any more fighting game news?
No, that's pretty much the end of the fighting game news.
I just wanted to mention that thing that happened today that you went nuts over is that Penny
Arcade accidentally leaked the final killer instinct character by showing an image of
the pins.
Yeah.
Oops.
Someone saved the picture, but then they replaced it with another one.
It's too late.
You can't do that.
You can't do that.
I am so very clearly say.
So happy because it says full gore.
Yeah.
So that's got to be a real huge piss off to Microsoft and Double Helix because you guys
are working with us and look, why did you do that?
Like, how did that even happen?
That's why you never work with anyone.
You know what though?
Remember kids?
Remember how fucking Ultimate Marvel went down when those 12 got dropped on day two?
That was the worst one.
Never again.
So the fact that KI got as far as it did with this hype trail is totally fine.
Although there was that one close call where everyone kind of figured everyone out at one point.
It is very interesting.
But at least no one was trolling through the website looking for JPEGs and then catching
up.
Oh look.
It's Virgil.JPG.
You're actually here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I forgot all those.
That's okay.
He said it's kind of like.
Oh, now I remember.
It's interesting that Lupinco is gone.
Lupinco left.
Yeah.
You know, if you translate Lupinco into some of the online, you're Seth Killian.
That was my theory for years.
And you always said I was crazy.
And then Seth Killian leaves Capcom and all of a sudden Lupinco is gone forever.
And now you believe me.
Well, he's going to come back and it's going to be Lupinco Fiend.
Lupinco is definitely his name.
Lupinco Fiend strikes again.
Lupinco Fiend is haunting the leaked seed Pinko.
Combo Pinko.
What is happening today?
Oh, wait.
No.
The other thing I forgot.
I was talking about Killer Instinct.
We're saying like, oh man, like who would that last guy be?
Would it be like, it's going to be Folgor Cinder, right?
Exactly.
And then it's like, oh, but like, who are they going to bring back?
You said pretty much everybody.
Yeah.
At least in round one or round two, except, and I'm like, except maybe the bosses, you
know, like fucking Idol and Gargos.
Oh, I don't know.
Maybe merge them together.
You get a gar doll.
I think you said.
I said gar doll.
And what did you say?
Or Eidos.
Eidos.
His attacks are like, like emergency restructuring.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Had a fiscal quarter.
It's real quick.
It's a really fast attack.
You'll want to protect her.
Suck it, LOK fans.
It's got a lot of play.
It's got high recovery with that last one.
No.
It's got high recovery though.
Oh boy, no, whatever.
Matt.
Yes.
It's time for the matte watch.
The matte watch.
I like I'm unabashed.
Who are you stalking today?
I'm unabashedly stalking Orchid today.
Because person isn't real.
So your none of you are really real when you think about it.
No.
You take.
Makes you think.
You take a really over sexualized character.
And Willie, what was the image that you saw killer instinct to 15 years ago?
Today.
What was the image that Rare made of Orchid 15 years ago?
The Orchid bent all over a Cadillac washing it booty in the face.
And she's wearing a thong.
Orchid was the original booty popper.
Yeah, sure.
So I'm actually super happy that they made her into a tougher, muscular, pretty much
like ask a fighter looking person.
Like you said this is our character in our MMA game or something.
Yeah.
I'd be like, yeah, okay.
So really kind of toning down the like disgustiness of that kind of was.
Where her theme song just had women having orgasms in the background.
Yeah, so the theme song had women having orgasms in the background.
So on the other side of the fence, you've got Chun-Li doing Cammie's hair.
Yeah.
And you know, as like, oh, here's your little fan service or whatever.
Yeah, exactly.
And then fucking ass titties, ass and titties.
Ass, ass titties, titties, ass and titties.
Yeah.
And so I'm really glad that they actually redesigned her in like a super like sexy but also like
believable kind of way.
More tasteful.
A little more tasteful.
You know, in fighting games, it's always good to have that.
Yeah.
No, I think it looks good.
So double helix.
Good job.
I'm actually with every character you redesign, I'm forgiving you for, for homecoming.
Not me.
And, and, and double putting my faith down in Strider.
Yes.
I was going to suggest to you, and might as well mention right here, how about leading
up to the, to the release of Strider?
We do a Strider font.
You play every Strider game.
I'm so down for this.
Yeah.
Full LPs.
Including the Genesis sequel.
You mean Strider 2.
All of them.
You mean, you mean, what, what Genesis?
Oh, Strider 2?
No.
That's a PS1 game.
There's the, no.
No.
There's the Genesis.
There's the real Strider 2.
And the fake Strider 2.
Oh no.
It's Moon Diver, right?
You gotta play Moon Diver as well.
You gotta play Moon Diver.
Because yeah, Strider 2 for the Genesis.
Strider is a weird, Strider took a weird path.
Yeah.
Into the future.
So we'll do that little lead up, and it'll take about 15 minutes.
Oh yeah.
That's exactly what I'm thinking.
Oh yeah, and he has Strider 2.
Yeah.
Can I play, can I play Genesis Strider?
20 minutes where I killed the parliament of Russia because they turned it into a giant
space dragon.
Centipede.
Centipede.
They've been holding the hammer and sickle.
Yeah.
That's the important detail.
Dude, that's all I remember about Strider.
Literally.
That, that part.
It's all I got.
That's enough.
It's the best.
Fucking Strider.
Oh my god.
Um, Legger, we're gonna get into some letters, but first let's take a quick word from our
sponsors.
This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one platform that makes it fast
and easy to create your own professional website or online portfolio.
For a free trial and 10% off, go to squarespace.com and use the offer code, Liam.
How does it feel to be a big dog now?
To be an offer code?
Finally.
Weird.
You are now an offer code, Liam.
I don't know how it happened either.
Did you do this to me?
You're the big leagues.
Did you do this to me?
Your stadium status.
People can...
What does that even mean?
People can now order you.
No.
You are now a literal instrument of capitalism here to fight the proletariat.
Wow.
Wow.
And you're also a key to an awesome site that'll give you all kinds of support if you'd
need to make a website.
I just got the image of like, it's just a key, but it's like Liam's head is on the
end of the key and you're just shoving him in the lock and he's going, no.
Stop it.
No, he's like, yeah.
Yeah.
He's like, I am an offer code.
Look at all these savings you unlock.
Yeah.
No.
Squarespace.com, a really great site you can go to if you need to make a website.
They've got all kinds of great templates.
It's fast.
It's easy.
There's 24-7 support.
Very design focused.
And this episode, they're sponsoring us, so thanks a lot for that Squarespace.
We really appreciate it.
But there's more.
There is more.
Right, there's more.
There's always more, Liam.
Always a little bit.
Yes.
And we want to try out a little contest on behalf of them this episode.
So what you guys do is when you go to Squarespace and you set up your free trial website, we
want you guys to make a site about the top three most mysterious Jogos, right?
What that means is up to you.
If you know what that means, great.
If you don't know what that means, even better.
Right?
Send us a list of your top three most mysterious Jogos by tweeting it with the hashtag, super
best friendcast, Squarespace.
We'll see that.
We'll go through them.
We'll pick them.
We will look at the Jogo websites.
Yes.
We will pick the three best, aka the three dumbest, aka the three worst, and we will not
only give them a little shout out on the Facebook, but Squarespace is going to send you guys
a swag pack with some cool stuff in it, including a Moleskine notebook, some T-shirts, some
decals and all that stuff.
Is that a Moleskine notebook?
Did I say that wrong?
Those are expensive.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
You're more important than that.
We'll think you guys are cool.
Yes.
Yes.
You're giving us ideas for mysterious Jogo things.
Exactly.
Presentations.
Whatever that means.
Whatever that means.
So, go to Squarespace, get that rolling, and use the friend code, Liam.
Liam.
You mean the offer code?
It's the same thing.
It's the same deal.
What a mysterious contest.
I can't believe my contest is this mysterious.
Thanks, Squarespace.
Thanks.
Thank you.
This episode of the friendcast is also sponsored by Comedy Gives Back, which is a really awesome
charity event that's happening.
You guys heard about this?
Yes, because you told me.
Exactly.
On November 6th, there's going to be a comedy benefit 24 hour stream on DailyMotion.com,
and it's a full day of all top, of all's back.
Stand up, dude.
Thank you.
They're people, they're going to stand up, and they're going to tell jokes on the internet.
Yes.
And you can go look at them, tell their jokes.
While I stutter over my words.
Don't worry, we'll just take the most basic words you can get.
But the most important thing is that this is being done to raise money to fight malaria.
Which is a huge jerk ass.
Yes.
One of the worst.
Fuck malaria, like help beat that shit down.
If malaria asked me what time it was, I wouldn't even answer.
You know what time it is, malaria?
Time for you to get out of my face as you guys should help push it away and keep on walking.
We're taking a hard line stance on malaria.
Yeah, very controversial stance on malaria.
Yeah, really.
So you can help by going out to comedygivesback.com, and you can donate there, you can find out
a bit more about the cause, Malaria No More.
And you can also tune into DailyMotion on November 6th, and you can see the comedy
stylings of Dane Cook, or Jim Brewer, or Mark Marin, or the Axis of Awesome.
Oh, right, right, right.
I didn't remember who they were until you told me they were the guys who did Bird Plane.
Yes, I'm more than a bird, I'm more than a plane, I'm a bird plane, I'm on the fucking
bird plane.
I love those guys.
So tune into that, that's a really good cause, and hey, who doesn't love stand-up comedy?
Nobody.
Everyone in New York loves stand-up comedy, I was told.
Right, that's all that was being sold in the streets.
It's letter time, it's letter time, it's letter time.
Man, Nicholas Pickles, you look different.
Why'd you look him up?
Oh, he's looking at him.
Yeah, I thought you meant you were Google searching Nicholas Pickles.
Nicholas Pickles?
Matt Economy.
Nicholas Pickles is the shit, because I'm 100% confident that he's the one who picked
the video in Arcade Top 10 theme, he just stole the Crash Man theme.
Absolutely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything.
And they can't catch him because it's not even his real name.
That's how you knew.
You knew video in Arcade Top 10 was legit because you watch it, is that fucking Crash
Man's theme?
Yeah, it is.
It wasn't actually legit.
It was so legit.
The guy who picked the music was legit, the actual show was huge.
It was so legit it couldn't quit.
It was the biggest scam ever.
The more facts that come to light about Nicholas Pickles, like the better and more godlike
he becomes.
We should make a marble hornet style video series about Nicholas Pickles and where he
is in the Wooders Haunts and shit.
And then he just sends us an email and goes, guys, I'm right here, right here.
Are you hanging out with PJ Filth?
Oh, now you're getting way too local.
Now you're getting local.
Where's the TV that used to be?
Smit.
Isn't it a landfill in Toronto?
Yeah.
Oh, my child's letters, the sound.
We have letters, guy.
Matt.
Wait, hold on.
If you wanted to send us one of these emails, Matt wanted to send us an email.
Okay, but where would you send that?
The email that Matt sent.
Yeah.
Where would it go?
Superbestfriendcastatgmail.com.
Where?
Huh?
Huh?
Superbestfriendcastatgmail.com.
Now, when you say Matt, you mean Matt Matt?
This guy?
No, I mean some guy named Matt.
Matt?
A different Matt.
A different Matt.
Send an email to superbestfriendcastatgmail.com.
It's a com.
He sent it there.
Oh, wow.
Yeah.
Should we read it?
It's a com.
Should we read Matt's email?
Let's do that.
There's 30 Matt's going, oh god, I hope it's my year.
Yeah, yeah.
Keep the tension high.
This is a really cool gift of like women's names in the U.S. over the years from 1965
going forward.
Yeah.
And you get to see the popularity and it's all Mary's and then it all turns into Jessica's
and then it-
Oh, that was a bad year.
It's a-
And then it all is cool.
It goes into Michelle's and it goes all around the place.
The court name.
It's nice.
Yeah.
Exactly.
You, court name.
You can see the trends.
There's 30 Zaks and 30 people named Aiden who are super pissed off at us right now.
And 40 court names.
Isn't that right, Zach?
But whatever, man.
Bible names are all the rage.
They've been popular enough this far.
They'll probably go the distance for a while longer.
So Matt.
So Matt, what does Matt want?
Matt wants to know, do you guys ever have to deal with neighbors getting irritated?
Oh.
What do you do?
Somehow, surprisingly, with the level of noise coming out of this guy, this fucking HQ.
This ginger soundbomb in front of me.
Hey.
Hey guys.
There is no complaints about it.
You'll notice that when you're at my house, I'm way, well, you'll notice when you're
at my house, I'm way quieter and like, hey guys, shut up.
Because that's fair.
Yeah.
I have had a single noise complaint the entire, I've lived in my place like almost three years
ago.
I only had a single noise complaint.
Never from my own voice.
I bought new speakers for my PC and they had a subwoofer and I live in an apartment building
and I hooked it up and decided to play, go straight off of YouTube for about 10 hours
with the subwoofer on.
And before the morning, my neighbor closest to the subwoofers just started kicking the
shit out of the wall and telling me to turn the fuck off and they moved out.
So they're gone.
Well deserved kicking.
Yeah.
But the song's really good.
It is.
But like, I love that song.
At 10 hours, it still seems a bit exciting.
I listen to songs a lot.
At the old HQ.
Yes.
There was a big problem.
No.
Big problem.
At the old HQ, never a problem.
At the current, where we are right now, my current place.
Is that about some headquarters?
Is that about some headquarters?
Yeah.
We were playing new Super Mario Brothers for the Wii U.
Yeah.
But since we're in a skyscraper, nobody can hear us.
No.
You weren't there Liam, but a huge guy next door who has since moved out.
Oh, the beefcake guy.
Huge bodybuilder, douchebag guy, comes up and it's 8 p.m. and he knocks on the door and
he just looks at me and just slants his head slightly.
Like, really?
You're not swole.
And we had five people.
It was me, Pat, Willie.
And two of the older door girls.
Two of the older door girls.
And he just looks at me.
Wow, you describe that like groupies.
Yeah.
Jesus.
And he looks at me.
They are the farthest thing from groupies that exist.
Right?
And he looks at me and just goes, really?
Like, and I'm like, yo, dude, I'm sorry, my friend has Asperger's.
He doesn't.
He can't control it.
And he goes, oh.
Shouldn't you go on with Tourette's?
And he leaves.
And then that was the only time.
And then any other time, I think there was maybe two other times where we had that same
amount of sound level, but I've never had a complaint since then, but I'm pretty sure
people are getting pissed off.
But it seems like there's other doors on this floor.
There's other doors.
And that's full of shit as well.
Some of these doorways in my hallway are just filled with shit.
What about that shit kid?
That's what I'm talking about.
There's one.
There's some shit kid.
Kicks Matt's door.
It scares us.
Or just walks in sometimes.
And walks in sometimes.
And then I'm like, you should probably get out of here, kid.
Does this door look like it's filled with shit?
And the kid takes a look at that and runs off.
I like the idea of this guy coming to your door, though, just being like, do you even
lift?
Like, really?
Do you even YouTube?
Do you even stand here?
Do you even make more money?
How about yourself, Wolves?
Do you get any noise complaints?
I got noise complaints once.
There was that old lady when we were playing a game and we were all having fun at the
talking.
She was actually using a boom to poke the ceiling.
And to be fair, she's really old.
And when we moved in, the one thing the janitor said was, be nice to the lady.
She's old.
And she's been awesome.
Generally, she's had no real complaints except for that one time.
My girlfriend was actually, like, beating the bottom of her...
Can I get through it?
Yeah, sure.
This doesn't make any sense.
This leaves the old thing in.
Anyway, was beating the bottom of a glass really hard and she couldn't get, like, I
think something frozen inside of it.
So she starts smacking the corner of a table and just, like, the reverb travels through
the wood.
Oh yeah, that's some reverb.
Gunshots.
You know, but generally, it's not a problem because, like, I'm in what would be the living
room area.
Yeah.
So it's fine.
What about you, Land?
Yeah.
I know I've never had noise complaints, not once, not never, but I have made noise complaints
against my neighbor who had that, you know, that iPhone alarm clock that's like the submarine
alarm?
Yeah, that one, it went off at three every morning for, like, six or seven months in
the winter.
You strike me as a light sleeper.
Yeah, I'm quite the light sleeper.
I made so many complaints against him and he left after seven months.
So I don't know if it was...
You won.
You won, Land.
I won in the end.
Well, I mean...
And then I left.
During the arts and crafts, it was basically Cinco de Mayo next door.
Yeah.
So...
Yeah, no noise complaints there.
Yeah, no.
Yeah, it was pretty fun.
Ah!
No noise complaints.
You get any anime complaints?
There's too much anime coming out from underneath your door.
Dude, sometimes people look in the window and there's just pink light coming out and
like, I've got, no, I got one of those notes on the door about that, though.
That's the best it's gotten to.
At Milady's place, we got asked to turn down Titan, because Attack on Titan was too loud.
But that...
That...
My action...
That action music is so good.
I know.
Ugh, Eddie.
What do you want to say?
Sorry, they're about to retake trust.
Like, what?
Like, we can't turn it down.
No, you go to the door and you go, really?
No.
Touch your head.
They give you the warning and you go, thanks for the cruel reminder.
Actually, the wonderful 101, I thought I was going to get the voice complaint, but I just
rolled through it and turned the volume up, because the ending of that game was amazing.
What a weird thing to try to do.
We can't turn it down.
This is the first time humanity has gained a victory.
And they're like, what are you talking about?
Just turn it down.
You stupid weirdo.
Michael says, hi there, guys.
So now that we all know that you live in some fictitious land, do any of you at all know
or speak some French?
I do.
Mais oui en parle français.
Oh, that's terrible.
Oh, that's how French is.
Qu'est-ce que tu fais?
Comprends la français, mais oui.
We all know a bit.
We all know enough to get by.
Well, I mean, half my family's French.
Yeah, Liam and I speak French better than you guys.
Sure.
Okay, well, you're doing the country-style sloshy French.
Well, I had to order a hamburger for you.
I thought I'd probably ask that one time after the smash journey, because you couldn't talk to the people.
Your French is terrible.
Admit it.
I had to order food for you.
It was embarrassing for you.
It gets me by, because I've had 12 years of it in school.
I remember you trying to come to my house and you got lost, because you couldn't ask for directions in French.
Okay, that was no, because those are the dudes that understand like no English at all.
Yeah.
That was rough.
That was rough.
You're stupid.
But I get by.
Yeah.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Samache.
Samache.
Samache.
If you're alive, you got by.
Oh, yeah.
Thank you, man.
I'd say that's probably true.
I'm taking shit, but yet still I'm standing.
Yeah.
There you go.
Right?
You're sitting.
Yeah.
So, yes, in summary a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And if you get out to the States, you can like play it's all la langue de l'amour.
Exactly, exactly.
That always weirded me out, because, you know, you always see people say, oh man, French is so romantic.
And I'm just going like, no, it's not.
No, it's not.
Not where we come from.
It's a really like, violent.
It's like harsh.
Yeah.
It's like harsh language, like German or something.
That's like like a particular product, like a Coca-Cola, being an extravagant like drink that only like
the upper class drink in some other country.
Yeah.
And then where we come from, it's Coke.
Well, like, yeah.
But it's good.
It's a good language.
In the French, in the French States.
Down in the south, right?
In Louisiana.
Yeah.
The one French side.
The place where Gambit comes from.
Right?
That type of French, you don't really think the same like Parisienne.
Oh, fuck Parisienne.
Fuck that shit.
Fuck Parisians.
I'll go farther.
You have a stage, sir.
Fuck them in French, les putins.
I like you, kid.
Zut alors.
All right.
Zut that nobody says zut alors.
No, no, Dragon Ball P.
I think they do.
Yeah, I think so.
I think that's how I learned it.
He musically says zut.
Yes.
See, here's the deal.
Some people from Paris just got mad at me, but everyone in the UK is like, yeah!
Everyone who plays Rémy on Third Strike Online.
You go to the France rankings and they're all Rémy players.
I'm sorry.
That's true.
Super true.
It's true.
What do you want me to do with that information, guys?
Come on.
I get a baguette.
Cody.
Oh, dude.
Cody is asking Liam.
Where's Jessica?
No, his question is whatever.
Interestingly enough, his question is, Liam, have you played the Streets of Rage remake
by Bomberlink?
I absolutely did.
Is that the one that Sega shut down?
Yes.
What did you think of it?
It was so obsessively.
I downloaded it from the page before it got taken down.
Smart.
I did too, actually.
Anytime you see something cool on the internet, you're like, this is probably going to go
away.
You should download it.
It's really good.
It's absolutely fantastic.
I'm not a huge fan of the new stuff they added.
I still prefer Sega's designs a bit better.
Truth be told, the first one is my favorite by far because I think the graphics are the
best of that one.
The Streets of Rage 1?
Yeah.
My favorite.
Not two.
No, two is by far the better game.
Oh, okay.
You just like the first one.
I like the first one better because of the way the grappling is.
It feels different.
I love playing that game with all the Streets of Rage 1 toggles on because the toggles are
amazing.
Really good package.
Amazing.
Anyone out there who wants to play a good beat em up, go down Torrent that from somewhere
because it's excellent.
Okay.
Thanks, Cody.
But then Sega will just shut down where you live, but legally they have to.
They actually don't have to though.
But if they don't, then everyone else gets free reign.
Good.
Give everyone free reign.
You run the Torrent and it hacks your computer with a gift of Sonic going, uh, uh, uh, uh,
and then the drowning music plays.
And you're out of spilled water.
Fucking saw.
Negotiations looking through the window.
Yo, that reminds me.
Negotiate.
And who else?
Okay.
So index got bought by Sega, right?
And then they became named Sega Dream Club, right?
They renamed it to index.
They renamed it to index, not Atlas.
They named it to index.
And now Negoti, the Yagusa guy, is on the board of directors.
Sick.
They're going to have a tanning salon.
I know.
Yeah, basically.
Fuck.
Now, all Atlas games will come with a free spray tan.
Boy, I wish.
But why would they name it index?
Index is the company with all the shady business and evil genes.
She's an expert in Yakuza.
Right?
It makes a lot of sense to me.
It's the weirdest.
All the receptionists were placed with Geisha.
Yeah.
Watch it happen.
Um, you mean hostesses?
Hostesses, yes.
Thanks, Cody.
That was that.
Okay.
That was a good question.
Yeah.
I appreciate it.
Um, Phillip says, hey, well, Willie, I know you're a big fan of stand-up comedy.
For the rest of you guys, what are some of your favorite comedians?
Me in the future?
Sure.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
Personally, best comedian, Louis CK.
Absolutely.
Totally agree.
Right?
King.
You're welcome.
Oh, yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
I would say second.
Time travel shit takes a while.
I'm never, I am never time traveling.
I'm just never going to do it.
Like, according to you in the future.
Yeah.
Right?
Anyway, time travel is exclusively a white privilege.
And for me, my second best is Joe Rogan.
I don't know about you guys, if you have any of this.
Um, me, it is specifically Jerry Seinfeld's, I'm telling you for the last time tour.
Okay.
It was super, super good.
I had that CD, I listened to them all the time.
Other than that, yeah, Louis CK.
I don't watch or listen to a lot of comedy at all.
What's his name?
Inglisius?
Enrique.
Enrique.
Is that his name?
No.
No, you mean Carlos Mincier?
No.
Come on.
I was hoping.
I was hoping.
The big guy.
Patrice O'Neill?
No, he's literally like called, like, fluffy or something.
Oh, I know the guy.
Yeah.
Like, fluffy or whatever.
Yeah, that guy.
He's really funny.
The overlap between William and I's tastes are extreme.
I'm not a huge fan of Joe Rogan.
Sure.
But I do like him a lot.
But Jim Norton.
Yes.
Patrice O'Neill.
The Dirty Boys.
Uh, George Carlin, unfortunately.
Yeah.
You've gone for a long time.
Fucking awesome.
Jim Norton, Patrice O'Neill.
You gotta go with...
Bill Burr.
Bill Burr.
Yeah.
You gotta go with Rich Voss.
I'm not familiar with Rich Voss.
Rich Voss is the...
Wait, who's Bill Burr again?
Bill Burr is the guy that went on the rent against Philadelphia.
Yeah.
Philadelphia.
Yeah.
And destroyed them entirely.
He did a ten minute set about how much he hates Philadelphia.
And it started out with booze and it ended in cheers because he refused to get off the
mic.
Right, right.
Legendary set.
He also guess started on Breaking Bad.
Yes.
Which was weird.
Continuously.
Yeah.
He did a really cool role.
Yeah, man.
Comedy's awesome.
Patton Oswald's also awesome.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, sure.
Okay.
Charlie says this goes for mostly Liam, William, Pat.
Do you guys...
Fine, Pat.
Fuck you, Charlie.
Do you guys have any pets?
Because we all know...
No, no.
I'm answering this question.
I have a snake.
I have two rats and now I have a cat.
Fuck you, Charlie.
I'm the only one that should have answered that question.
I used to have a dog back when I lived with my folks, but then I don't have...
Then you abandoned him.
But then...
Oh, shut the fuck up!
It's what you did.
But now I can't.
Wow.
Because my apartment doesn't allow dogs and I'm too irresponsible to keep pets.
I don't have any pets at my place.
If I had living situations like that, I probably would.
What would you have?
Because I like animals.
I'd probably have like cat or something.
I want a Turkish van.
Yes.
Great.
At my family's places, I have a dog named Daisy and two cats.
That's the perfect dog name.
Yeah, I know.
It's pretty good.
And a golden.
There you go.
Yes, exactly.
And at my mom's place, we had a shidzu named Sushi who passed away around...
That's the best name ever!
Who passed away around two months ago.
And I was really sad about it.
I'm sorry.
It's okay.
The dog's name is hilarious.
But yeah, I like animals a lot.
They're great.
Yeah.
Personally, I grew up in a house.
We had a giant tank full of 20 fish.
It was pretty awesome.
Feeding time was fun.
Unfortunately, they ate each other.
That happens.
That was fucked up and terrified.
Yeah, fish are monsters.
Yeah.
We then...
There's a whole show called Riverbonds.
And when there was that one fat one left, we kind of went, okay, guy.
And then we refilled the tank a bit.
And we had three fish for a while.
And then we went back to having one fish.
Yeah.
It was rough.
Go on.
I was just going to say, I actually had a lot of gold fish when I was younger too.
I always had two.
And they were always called Sharky and George.
Yeah!
Good job.
Good job.
One time, my sister grabbed one and threw it out of the tank.
And my mom was like, did you eat it?
What did you do with it?
And my mom eventually pried away my dresser from the wall.
And Sharky was stuck to the wall.
Just slapping about.
And she just put it back in the tank and it was fine for another fish or ton of long gold fish live.
One of the most depressing things I've read recently was about how many clownfish died
because everyone wanted Nemo.
Yeah.
Oh, man.
Oh, man.
It's just, it's the same thing that happened when 101 Dalmatians came out.
There's a spike in people buying Dalmatians.
But without realizing that Dalmatians are like high maintenance dogs.
Special dogs, man.
Yeah.
That's really dark.
Yeah.
A whole bunch of clownfish.
And Pixar.
Yeah.
No, no, just Disney.
Shit sucks, man.
Walt Disney was a Nazi.
The other thing is in Grenada, I had two dogs.
Did you have a dolphin?
No, no dolphins in Grenada.
I thought you were assigned dolphins in Grenada.
Just riding.
Yeah, to ride them.
You put that code in like Wave Race where you're...
Yeah.
That's when it comes to dolphins.
I love that.
No, I had two German shepherds, Ralph and Lisa.
It should have been named Clark.
If only I had known.
If only I had known.
But even back then I was a fan of the name Ralph.
Put headbands on them.
And then teach them to throw tanks.
Yes.
Galactica dog phantom.
ABBA.
Oh, man, I really want to see somebody draw a picture of a dog Ralph punching a tank.
Yeah, do it.
But no, and sadly, no, nothing today, nothing these days.
But if I would get one, I'd get a Welsh Corgi.
Welsh Corgi.
I would get a Welsh Corgi.
I have to ask the obvious question.
What would you name it?
It's...
Come on.
I like the name Blitzkrieg.
Oh, wow.
I think Blitzkrieg's a cool name.
I like the idea of naming like really tiny, small, non-threatening dogs.
Like really macho shit.
Like missile?
Yeah.
Like missile.
Cut destroyer?
Yes.
Yeah.
Name your Welsh Corgi cut destroyer.
My girlfriend got a dog recently.
What did she call it?
No, she named it Dixie, but it responds better to Doge.
She's been calling it Doge so long.
Oh, wow.
Dog.
It's great.
So sweet.
You're a dog.
Such dog.
Such dog.
Oh, my God.
That just reminds me that I went to Know Your Meme and they had a chart for Doge.
And from 2007, it just goes like this.
That does what?
Sorry.
It just goes up and down very slightly.
Yeah.
2013, it becomes more than vertical where it starts leaning back.
2013 is just the biggest, most upshot of anything.
You can do that with all sorts of stuff.
It's use Google Trends.
Yeah.
And you figure out like why did rubber fisting become outrageously popular in 2008?
It's always.
Yeah.
You're like, hmm, ooh, that internet.
FYI, I was.
But on the graph, they just said wow.
Nailed it.
I always said Doge.
Did I tell you the hedgehog story, how I almost got a hedgehog?
No, what?
There was a point where I almost.
How fast was it?
It came kind of near to getting a hedgehog.
It was too fast.
It was tacky at that point.
If you call your hedgehog Sonic, that's just.
Yeah.
What if you call it Amy?
Anyway.
All in shadow.
I was close to getting one and like there was a thing going on and the mother ate all
the babies.
Yeah.
And I was just like what the fuck?
Animals do that.
What the fuck?
And baby hedgehogs are so cute too.
Yeah.
Plague has taught us things about animals.
Every animal eats every animal.
Watch out for ducks.
So the problem I have with Plague telling me about animals is I usually already know
it and he's just bringing it back up and I'm like no Plague, I know.
No, shut up.
No, don't send me the pictures.
But really you want to keep hearing it.
I've suppressed those memories.
Yeah.
Okay.
Charlie asks.
A different Charlie or the same Charlie?
I think it's the same Charlie.
Wow.
But it's a question.
Okay.
Has a video game ever made you cry?
Yeah.
Absolutely.
I'm a huge baby.
I'm the biggest baby.
Let's all take a few seconds to correct our thoughts and tears.
The two most obvious ones to point out are FF7 and The Walking Dead.
Wow.
Really?
Yeah, totally.
At Eris?
Yeah.
Oh, man.
I was like 11, man.
Okay.
All right.
I have emotions, okay?
I'm going to get a lot of flack for this one.
Oh, he's going to say for the last time.
I'm not going to go into it too much because it's a very specific personal thing.
And I think you might have already said this on the phone.
Oh, yes.
In fact, we might have hinted at this.
But Heavy Rain?
Yeah.
I had to turn it off.
There's a point where I had to turn it off.
I cried at the end because it was so bad.
I also did that.
No, for me, it was a chapter much earlier than the end.
Metal Gear Solid 4.
4?
Where Snake was just fucking dying.
I was crying.
I wasn't weeping.
I wasn't weeping, but like there was a tear.
I got teary-eyed at the end of 3.
Thank you.
My only moment in video games ever where I felt almost lose.
Well, 3 was the next one, actually.
Let the people have a chance.
No.
And we'll be crying.
Yes, the boss was the only thing that has moved me to that point.
Yeah, exactly.
It's even better.
And there's nothing second place.
There's nothing.
When that DMC trailer came out.
When I played DMC 2 and I recorded that,
Oh, yeah, that was horrible.
I mean, these are different types of tears.
Near was a good one, though.
I don't want to play near.
I want to say what happened.
No, don't say it.
But I'm not gonna.
For me, it's when Link says goodbye to Saria and Ocarina of Time.
Really?
Yeah.
We're all just a bunch of babies.
I'm surprised by that one because it's not even tragic.
It's totally tragic if you remember it.
The first 10 minutes of The Last of Us.
That's our toy, that movie that's yours.
You know what?
If I hadn't had to sit next to Matt for that sequence,
I may have felt more emotional.
I bet I could have enjoyed Last of Us more
if I didn't have to watch the worst of it.
Oh, shut the fuck up.
Shut the fuck up.
And miss all these huge stories.
You are such an asshole.
You totally missed the note.
When I said ish and he's like who?
I was like, I'm done.
I'm so done.
I'm just, I'm out.
No.
I'm doing it for college.
At the end of that intro, I didn't, it wasn't to that point
because it's the intro.
So I expect powerful grippers.
But my eyeballs were wide open.
I was crying.
It was so good.
It was just so good.
Okay.
All right.
Big man.
The all time greatest though is in the game
and it's the first 10 minutes of Up.
Yes.
Yup.
Yup.
Nope.
I went to see Up with like 15 people
all in our mid 20s and we were all balling
in the first 10 minutes.
If you don't cry.
If you don't feel anything.
You're not a human being.
You're not a human being.
You're actually not.
You don't feel something.
And then when you get like the kids in the audience
that go, mommy, I don't get it.
Mommy, I don't get it.
And you're like, oh, this kid's gonna die.
Oh, it's hard.
Roll life is hard.
Not a game, but the first scene of Pacific Rim
where he puts on the armor and gets in.
I like one tear.
I was just like, this is the best thing ever.
It doesn't mean sadness.
We're moving.
It was the best.
Shut up, Liam.
We're moving.
He's the best.
Liam is turning bright red.
Yeah, he is.
And I'm crying over it too.
Calm down.
Calm down, baby, baby.
You didn't mention any of your Japanese enemies
and I'm proud of you.
Clanad.
Yes.
Yeshua wants to know if you guys could have
your arms replaced with any kind of transforming
hand or weapon thing, what would it be?
A better robot hand.
The general answer is you go for the Jensen style.
I like all in one tool.
But that's too easy.
Yeah, that's fine.
But was it like two weeks ago when the director's cut
came out and I was just like, oh my god,
I want to be a cyborg so bad.
Giving up the field.
I'm so on board for the entire full body Jensen
cyborg future.
Would you be down with the possibility of getting
EMPed in the future?
Yeah, sure.
Fuck it.
I don't care.
He can get fucking killed right now.
Yeah.
I can get hit by a car, walk across the street.
I'm not worried about that.
But bionic arm is too easy.
For my purposes now, I see a bionic arm that just
has some sort of display and just general hookup
to the internet to always be able to upload
whatever you want on the internet,
on your hand at all times.
It never goes down.
It's a tough question because like,
do we lose the hand?
Do we lose hand you?
I'm going to make it better.
I'm going to say you can't just have a hand
because it's too easy.
There's a sacrifice involved.
I'll never give up one of my fucking hands
for hand purposes.
Your hand gets cut off in an accident.
What do you replace it with?
A better hand.
No, you need a two-in-one weapon.
Don't answer the question.
In a hook or a claw.
This is a hard question.
Pizza cutter, right?
I say grappling hook.
Grappling hook is a really good one too.
Extension retreat.
Yeah, exactly.
A little bionic arm, but real bionic arm.
Except it doesn't have the dumb wife component.
Why not have the dumb wife component?
His wife is a fucking arm.
Game ruining moments.
I kind of want to go for that one too
if we can't just have an arm arm.
Yeah, you got the tool.
I got the tool.
I want to say that one then, I guess.
What do you want to say?
My fucking hammer?
Like, what good is that for me in my day-to-day?
Mega Buster.
No!
Well, I can totally see that just having a hammer hand.
Waving it, threateningly.
I got this fucking robot hammer.
Wasn't my first choice.
That's all they had left.
Taylor.
A big, a big, vibrating rubber fist.
Thank you.
There we go.
I'm looking at all of you and I'm realizing,
well, it's up to me to say it.
Actually, sorry, not Taylor.
Talon asks,
Are you serious?
That's not their real name.
I doubt it, but here it is.
Hey guys, have any of you guys seen Interstellar 555?
Yeah!
And if so, what do you think of it?
It's the greatest music video of all time!
Yeah.
It's probably the best.
Same thing.
The only thing you make it better is if you take Fat Boy Slim video
with Christopher Walken,
but then you animate Christopher Walken
into Interstellar 555.
If Weapon of Choice happened as a prequel to Interstellar 555.
Same animation style.
And honestly, it's already really cool as a throwback to
70s anime.
Help me Space Train 999.
Galaxy Express!
Thank you, Galaxy Express.
Hey, Galaxy Express.
Why?
It's awful.
It's great.
It's so boring.
Anyway, so that is an homage and stuff is really great.
And they never do it again because they're Daft Punk
and they have to do new things all the time.
But if they somehow could,
that was such a name.
It helps that it's also one of the best albums ever.
It's alongside it.
Imagine Random Access Memories, the animated by Trigger.
I'm not a huge fan of Random Access Memories.
There's like five songs on there that I'm like,
yeah, these are great.
The rest of them are like,
but we've established that you know shit fucking all about music.
I know what I like.
Moving right along.
You should watch any future Daft Punk music albums down the road.
I'd like it.
I'd like it, yes.
You should watch Trigger's previous works.
Wait a shit on me, you shit.
You said music is garbage.
And anyone who listens to it is a chode.
Yeah.
You're music listening to chodes.
So you don't need Wully to make you look like an asshole.
I'm sorry.
She's still hurt.
She's still hurt.
You should watch the little witch academia.
Oh, shut up.
It's by Trigger.
Katie Bass, who posts on the Facebook does some awesome art.
Asked us a question and because she does so much awesome art,
I'm going to answer that question.
Hey guys, quite simply, if you could be a character from JoJo,
who would it be?
Take your picks.
Okay, okay, okay.
We can't all say Dio.
I know.
I know.
I wouldn't want to be Dio.
I would want to be Dio.
We can't.
Okay, because I feel like Wully, me and Liam would all just go Dio.
Dio.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'd like to be a man.
Do you want to say besides Dio?
No, I'm just going to say Dio.
I don't care.
You don't have makeup.
Okay, sure.
Fine.
Dio's too obvious.
Let's add another one.
This guy, like Avdol's the black guy, whatever.
Yeah, sure.
But you don't want to just go there.
I don't want to be Avdol.
No.
This may be a weird choice, but I'd like to be Speedwagon.
Oh.
Yeah, I was thinking of Speedwagon too.
Because Speedwagon gets to hang out with the most raddest cool dudes ever.
Yeah, exactly.
And he like saves the world with philanthropy and is the coolest old man ever.
I would be Jotaro just because no one can figure out what I have on my head.
Is that hair?
Is that your hat?
But that's basically my head.
I just go like this.
I just like grab my chin and just go yeah.
Just pose a little.
Just pose.
You don't know.
Do a JoJo pose.
Exactly.
Speedwagon.
Yeah, you're totally right.
Yeah.
Speedwagon.
Speedwagon.
You're totally right.
Being a fighter in the JoJo universe sucks.
You either die super hard.
Yeah.
Or suffer forever.
Or you suffer forever.
But Speedwagon gets to chill with Jonathan and Joseph.
I'm going to try his costume.
I'm going to try to read Katie's mind here though and say maybe she's planning something.
Oh, it's an artist.
It's an artist.
Fine then, I want to be planning.
I want to be Dio.
Shut up, I'm Dio.
No, I'm Dio.
I said Dio first.
No, you did it.
No, I said we can't all be Dio, which obviously means I know what I'm going to do.
It's done.
No one gets Dio.
Too late.
No one gets Dio.
Too late, it's done.
I'm Dio.
All Joseph then.
Which version?
Because there's all Joseph and really old Joseph.
All Joseph in part three.
Okay.
With a hat.
And the yellow shirt.
Because Joseph's back in part four and he's fucking old.
Yeah, he's pretty old.
No one was going to say Josuke because no one knows him.
I'll take Platinum then.
You want to be star Platinum?
Of course I want to be star Platinum.
That's not a JoJo character.
How is that not a character?
No, because you're the guy that...
You need to have a character with their status.
Alternatively, Iggy.
Iggy's pretty cool?
Yeah, Iggy's pretty cool.
And you can't be...
Yeah, I can.
No, in here.
Why can't I be star Platinum?
Because you have JoTaro.
I want to be a race car.
I want to be that kid who just grows up to be whatever the fuck he wants to be.
Liam gets Lisa Lisa.
I sleep in a racing car.
Do you?
No, Liam gets Susie Q.
Susie Q.
Yeah, it's good.
Why can't I just have Speedwagon?
Like I said in the first place.
Okay, okay, okay.
Honestly, fine, fine.
If not Dio, then Kars.
Kars is pretty cool.
That's where I go.
I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Wow!
I can't believe my brain connected to the dots to make that funny.
I did it.
What do you even want?
He wants to grow up to be a race car.
Race car.
Do you sleep in a race car?
I sleep in a big bed with my wife.
Yeah, okay.
It was a long pass.
Jesus.
What's coming up on the channel, man?
We put up a Sonic video yesterday.
Today, I mean later in the week, we're going to have another Sonic video.
Sonic all day every day.
Every day.
Then other than that, Beyond Two Souls.
Will continue.
Me and Pat will be starting a new play through maybe this weekend.
As soon as it gets here.
As soon as it gets here.
And I believe me and Willie and Liam have a video of the killer variety to go up this
week at some point.
That beat is rare.
That beat is rare.
Did you say it's got killer cuts?
It does.
Let your body rock.
Let your body move.
Let your body jump to the killer groove.
I don't get it.
Is this a music thing?
It's because the beat's rare.
Because as I earlier said, the music is dumb.
The beat's rare, Pat.
Yeah, we get it.
That beat is super rare.
Yeah, then maybe someone offs here and there.
I like the idea of one offs.
You know, I know my French ain't great.
Way to pull it back from 30 minutes ago.
I've been plagued just to roll that out.
I've been plagued by it.
But it's like no one would be able to tell until it were pointed out, I think, outside
of this city.
I disagree.
You know, outside of this city.
Outside of this city.
The other thing is that specifically your jobs have not been like a problem.
Yeah, no, no.
Because where the companies have come from.
And the thing is, the bilingual part is like at the very least you have to understand
it's spoken to me.
It's okay.
No one's disrespecting you.
You did earlier.
You just didn't make your fault.
And it's fine.
No, it's total bullshit.
It's total bullshit.
Like I've been training in it and learning in it.
Just garbage.
Just be ashamed.
And learn to live with it.
Most places on work, though, it's been like a boss person talks to me in French.
I respond in English and we go, yo, you know what, that's my system too.
I could do it in French, but it's easier.
Works great.
Yeah.
No problems there.
We're lazy.
I am lazy.
That's true.
Do your folks like ever...
My dad used to be French and now he's not anymore because he was married to my mom
for too long.
Yeah, a bunch of my odd family speaks French at me.
Does it just bleed out of the system?
No, I speak French at them, too.
Okay.
My brother and sister mainly speak French.
When you speak French, you're speaking...
My brother and sister mainly speak French, and I just talk English back to them.
Right.
When I talk to machinima people, they're all super impressed with us.
Like, oh, jeez, you guys know French, that's crazy.
You guys speak more languages than one.
Yeah, yeah.
Pretty much.
But is Spanish not count?
No one speaks Spanish.
Not everyone speaks it.
I thought that was like an almost mandatory thing.
No.
It feels secondary because it's pushed to secondary, and some people know it, but not as many as
you'd think.
Really?
No.
It's not like here, man.
It's not like here.
It's not like here.
It's not like here.
Go up to Calgary, see how many people speak French back at you when you talk to them.
Even though they took it in school.
That's probably true.
If I learned anything from Breaking Bad, it's that...
No one speaks Spanish.
Even though everyone should speak Spanish.
You really probably should.
We should probably be able to speak Spanish, but we can't.
That's why the shitstorm was embarrassing.
That's Portuguese.
No, but if we spoke Spanish, we would have known that it wasn't Spanish.
Let's learn Esperanto.
Let's just like...
Fuck you.
You learned it in two weeks.
It's the easiest language in the world.
I have a really dumb fact.
If we can close in on...
Esperanto is used exclusively as the language of Shatteloo in the Scoop Fighter movie.
Oh, it's true.
It's true.
Wow.
They speak only Esperanto because they're like, no one's gonna be angry if we speak that
in our war-torn drug-land shadow-law nation.
Yes.
Right.
Oh, God.
I know so much stuff about the Scoop Fighter movie.
Well, I once read the translation for the intro to Smash Bros in Latin, and it's really cool.
It tells a story.
Yeah, I know.
A story about a man who went to Save His Hometown and his friends.
Yeah.
And then he broke his arm trying to make a game.
Ah, I'm a wrist!
And then he broke his arm trying to make a game.
Continue.