Castle Super Beast - SBFC 016: You Can't Push Baby Murder for SummerSlam
Episode Date: November 26, 2013This week on the PersonaCast! Persona! Xbone Launch! Carmack! South Korea! Telltale Game of Thrones! Mario 3D World! Zelda: A Link between Worlds! Ultra Street Fighter 4! And the boys come to blows ov...er Adventure Time and the Dreamcaaarrst.Got a question for us? Send it to: superbestfriendcast@gmail.com
Transcript
Discussion (0)
One, two, three, four.
Super best friends cast.
It's so rad.
Matt's got a steak.
And Matt's so mad.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wooly's got green hair.
Liam's the queen there.
Super best friends cast.
Thanks Martin Weir for that intro.
We're gonna get a little bit of a little bit of a fan.
Soful, man.
Yeah.
I felt the country twang.
Right?
For sure, it was pretty charming.
It's like a less scary plague of gripes doing music.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, I appreciate the little fan joints like that.
We all do, of course.
That's fun.
I'm gonna see a version of that, but it's sung by Liam,
and he's swinging naked on a wrecking ball.
Why?
Why would you?
And he's talking about Hulkamania.
And how cheap their prices are.
Yeah, nice.
Let's see what we can do then, Matt.
We'll work it out.
We'll work it out.
I'll rent the chain ball.
The chain ball?
How much does a ball and chain these days, Pat?
I don't know.
That's free with a case of wife.
That's not free.
I was gonna say, ask if someone's been like,
we're not married, so.
I know a guy.
He's dying.
I know a guy who's married.
What a guy.
He's super happy.
It makes me disgusted.
Pat Dice Clay over here.
Oh.
Hey, Pat.
What?
Because of your past behavior,
you can't Xbox Live Gold is required to use Skype for Xbox One.
No!
I can't do what this means.
I can't Xbox Live Skype Gold!
Or does anyone?
Choose something else to play.
Did anyone actually explain this?
Yes.
Is it from a different market?
So what this is?
This was a situation where people were getting banned off of Skype,
and it really looked like they were getting banned for swearing.
Because Kinect knew that they swore.
That's what the thought is right now.
And it turns out it is not that.
It is almost the same, though.
They're getting banned from something called Upload Studio,
which is some other Microsoft product.
It's the Xbox One Uploader footage.
And it will flag lots of swearing.
And be like, nah, banned.
And they're temp bans.
They're like 24 hours.
And clearly this error message was never made by humans.
It was compiled through several automatic processes.
The power of the cloud.
Well, aggregation.
And you're supposed to have the little percentage signs
to tell you what's going here.
So can we get more of these?
Because they're so entertaining.
Totally.
Absolutely.
I bet you there's a lot of broken error messages
in the new consoles.
The sky's the limit.
It's an Easter egg.
My personal favorite is people posting screenshots
of the Xbox One's thing that says when you can't connect
to the internet.
It says something is wrong.
And then you go and it says everything is fine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything is not fine.
Something went wrong.
Everything is fine.
I want you to ask me why can't Metroid go wrong.
Of course, Metroid is cool.
Hey, guys.
Metroid comes out.
Hey.
Welcome to episode 16 of the Persona Cast.
Woo!
What happened?
We're, you know, now fully legal in some states, provinces,
and countries.
People are letting us know that a bunch of Persona,
like, do you not think that at least one of us know of it?
I stayed up to watch it live at 6 a.m.
Eastern.
And I know what you're saying.
What do you mean, stay up?
Couldn't you have just gotten up?
It's 6 a.m. Eastern.
No, it's too easy.
But like all these situations, what if the news breaks early?
What if it breaks early?
Yeah.
Or more importantly, Pat can't sleep because he's too jittery
in his bank.
I thought that I'd get tired around 4 o'clock.
No, I was wired.
No, you had your sleeping cap on.
You thought you were going to fall asleep.
No, I wasn't.
I didn't watch it live, but I woke up and it was better
than I ever expected.
Yeah, so here's the deal.
Watching it.
Especially for Liam.
Waking up and seeing the news, which we should probably
explain before we go into the story.
Well, I was about to say, how about you tell us what the
fuck is going on?
I'll tell it in story form.
Because waking up to the news was the worst.
Sorry, waking up to the news was the best thing ever.
Watching it live was the worst thing ever.
The worst slash best.
So a little bit of background.
Atlas has been teasing a persona-based countdown website
for like three months.
Yeah, a lot of times.
Countdown runs out on 11.24 at 6 a.m. Eastern, 8 p.m.
over in Japan.
People are going out in crowds to see these big,
giant TVs at train stations in order to see the
announcements.
And I'm waiting.
I'm waiting.
Oh, the countdown's over.
Here's an old lady talking to me for like 10 minutes.
Enjoy.
Why is this old lady?
And I don't know what the old lady is saying.
And she is active, like the TV is behind her.
Like, you know, she's in a different building and
it's way across a square or something.
And the cameraman is moving around and she's
actively blocking the shots so you can't see the
trailer.
And then they show what the trailer is.
And it's Persona Q.
Persona Q.
Shadows of the arena.
And it is Etrian Odyssey guest starring all the
persona characters as chibi characters from
three and four.
And it's non-canon and everything.
This goofy crossover thing for 3DS.
Photo of two protagonists standing together.
Some of whom should not be in a game.
No, they should not.
And you just go, this isn't what I wanted.
Yeah.
No.
No.
And then that trailer ends.
And then they do that awful Japanese thing where
they just show you the same trailer again.
But there's like two scenes that are different.
Yeah.
And somebody's talking over it.
And then you get to listen to Teddy talk for five
minutes.
Nice.
Any pictures and pictures of celebrity reactions.
No.
Not that.
Actually you get to listen to Teddy talk for five
minutes so that they can show you a trailer for
Persona 4 Arena 2.
A game that isn't being announced because everyone
knew it existed.
Well, I mean, they announced the console port.
Back up.
You explained to me the whole three TV thing.
Yeah.
Okay.
So I'll get to that.
Okay.
And they also announced a new character for it.
Informally.
Yeah.
But we knew about him anyway.
We kind of did.
So it's like an announcement of something that
everyone already knows about.
Yeah.
Here's another 10 minutes of this.
And you're going, I don't want this.
Well, I do want this.
But this is not what I've stayed up to watch.
Yeah.
And then you get to the point where you realize that
there were three squares on that countdown website.
So everyone assumed it would be three games.
So, oh, this is going to be Persona 5.
This is going to be, no, it's Persona 4 dancing all night.
Niku Rhythm Touch Game.
The best possible thing.
Shut up.
They could have been announced.
Shut up.
So when this gets announced, we're like 35 minutes in.
Let Liam have this one.
Yeah.
No.
It's like.
You start with the angry.
But hold on.
This is the problem.
We're like 35 minutes into this announcement.
And this is what I get.
Was it given a time of how long it should be?
What do you mean?
No.
No.
It was just a countdown.
Okay.
And then you get there for over half an hour.
Right.
And then you get Persona 4 dancing.
And I'm just thinking like, wow, I'm going to kill Liam.
I'm going to kill Liam.
This is his fault.
This is his fault that I don't have Persona 5.
Persona 4 dancing all night, right?
And then they do another like 10.
Pat, man.
They do another like 10 minutes of that.
And then they have Teddy talk for forever about nothing.
I don't know.
I don't know what he's saying until they finally just decide
to put up a countdown, which is 5 fives on the screen.
And it counts down under a minute.
And they give us a little tiny Persona 5 teaser.
And it's coming.
Almost nothing.
Almost nothing other than it exists.
You are a slave.
Do you want emancipation?
Yeah.
Winter 2014.
That was a mysterious trailer.
And then everyone was happy.
But the trip from the beginning to the end was almost 50 minutes
of disappointment after disappointment after disappointment
because they knew what we wanted.
Of course.
And they didn't give it to us.
But then we got it and it was like, ah.
It really reminds me of, I'm not sure if you guys saw it,
but I think me and Pat saw it when it was live,
is the Metal Gear 25th Anniversary Stream,
which was, this is where we're going to show Metal Gear 5, right?
Right.
And it was watches.
Yeah.
It was like good material goods.
But captive audience.
It was a long time.
It was like 30 minutes, nothing.
I remember everyone freaking out, much like the Persona thing.
Everyone, this fucking guy didn't want this.
Same thing.
I have a friend of mine who was there at the Shinjuku Station in the crowd.
You had a plant.
And I spoke to him the day afterwards.
And I asked him, what was the crowd's reaction?
Because everyone in the stream was going totally bonkers, right?
The crowd was doing the same.
The crowd was at a near riot pitch of, this isn't Persona 5.
This isn't what I wanted.
Except Liam was like, no, go back to the fucking,
I want my ages Vocaloids.
So like Persona Q, that's cool.
And Ultimax is going to be great, of course.
And like 5 is amazing.
Persona Q looks like Total Garbage.
I mean, it'll be okay, but I don't like Etrian Odyssey anyway.
Yeah, exactly.
Anyway, Persona 4 Dancing All Night, right?
It's made by the guys who made the first three project Divas.
Of course it is.
Regardless of the subject matter, are really good rhythm games.
Although I do like the subject matter as well.
Of course you do.
So when you make Shoji Meguro's music with Dingo's actual rhythm gameplay,
with whoever the fuck designed the Persona characters,
it is a really good pairing up of talent to make this thing that I fucking hate.
It is such a niche, amazing thing.
For what it's worth, Persona, besides its gameplay and art style,
is known for its amazing music.
Shoji Meguro came out of nowhere.
And just immediately became one of the best composers in Japanese game design.
Well, you know they have regular concerts with Persona.
I think they had three this year.
Yeah, and they sell out instantly overnight.
Are there live performances of the intro to P3 Fest?
Yes!
Nice.
And every single one.
The hip hop.
It's usually the second or third song.
They do the intro, and then they bring Lotus Juice out on the stage.
And he starts getting all nuts.
You know what, I prefer the music game.
I prefer if they just, they literally just took the Elite Beat Agents things
with cutscenes and little stories.
Right.
And just put, then it was with Persona characters.
Actually, you could play that.
You know Persona 4 Dancing All Night is canon.
Yeah.
Persona Q is much greater.
It is.
Persona Q is not canon.
Persona 4 Dancing All Night is canon, right?
I don't, it is canon.
This falls into a timeline.
It comes after Persona 4.
It's easy to believe because the main character from 4 is taller and older.
The event of Dancing cannot be considered canon or canon.
There's not scenarios happening.
No, so apparently there's a story.
P4, Gematsu translated it earlier today.
So P4 happens, and then they just travel through genres.
P4 happens, and then two fighting games happen.
Yeah.
And then Dancing Game happens.
I don't know where Dancing happens as far as fighting games are concerned.
He's clearly older.
He's way older.
Guys, I'm so tired of just fighting.
I think we should just dance.
When do we get the shmup?
Like, it's coming!
Persona Skystage 2015.
It's probably on its way here right now.
Teddy and his items.
Yeah, I play it.
Sure?
Yeah.
Guys, what have you been up to this week?
Staying up late and watching Persona.
Man, what have you been doing?
I was just playing a bunch of Castlevania.
Which one?
I was playing Rondo of Blood.
That's a good one.
And Super Castlevania IV.
That's also a good one.
Super Castlevania IV is my favorite Castlevania.
Just because it's one of the few where you have a whip, and it's the only one where
you're well equipped to kill things.
Because you can whip in every direction.
And I forgot that Rondo of Blood, you can't do that.
I forgot that Rondo of Blood has the best music.
Or the best of the classic music.
I think Castlevania IV is the only one you can whip in all directions.
I believe it's so.
Are you surprised?
You wouldn't say Rondo of Blood is your favorite, actually.
It's like I need to play more, but it's so much harder, right?
I can't see more of it.
And Liam, because of that friend that we know in common that's obsessed with Castlevania.
In my head, I'm exactly an asshole guy.
I know where you're going with this.
Yes, like of Bloody Rondo.
Like a Chino Rondo.
Because he fucking would write, this dude would write.
That guy's a fucking weirdo.
He would write stories about why we should go play this translation.
That he may or may not have helped on.
And he won't let you stop until you play it.
Yeah, well.
Until you finish it and all the endings.
And I forgot the thing I'm not sure you guys remember.
But all the cutscenes in Rondo of Blood are in German.
Because that's what they should be speaking.
Totally.
But it's translated in Japanese at the bottom of the screen.
But everyone actually speaks German.
It's really cool.
I like touches like that.
Yeah.
And I got my X-Bone.
It can play video games.
Games can happen.
I added Maximilian today.
Did you?
Did he add you back?
No, he's the one that sent me a message.
Oh, wow.
Oh, wow.
This is up in the world.
No.
Mr. Big Shot.
High steps.
But everything else I ordered.
Like we did not get the sticks.
The sticks are sold out at Madcats.
Nothing.
Sold out at Amazon.
Physical copies of K.I.
Nowhere to be found.
Microsoft stores also that.
We don't have Microsoft stores where we live at all.
It's kind of garbage.
You can't even buy it at a penny arcade store.
And they're the guys that made it.
I don't even want the pins.
I just want the fancy box.
You just want the box.
Because it's a red velour box.
Right?
And it's bigger than other game boxes.
It's like, fuck.
Sure.
And Liam, you wanted the box too.
I wanted it too.
And we searched far and wide for 20 blocks about.
And we couldn't find it.
Yeah.
I mean, even before it was announced.
That was what I was asking you.
Yeah.
You're like, I don't want to buy the console.
But if I can buy the game itself.
I would buy just K.I.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I also picked up Mario 3D World.
I picked it up digitally because.
Of course.
I didn't want to fight more people to get stuff.
Because, Willie, I think you're going to mention when you talk about trying to get anything
on Friday.
Yeah.
We're going to have totally different experiences with retail and whatnot.
My actual, since we talked a bit about the, how you, the PS4 launch.
Yeah.
I went to.
Yeah.
Did the X, did the X bones like network die?
I had no problems.
That's awesome.
Cool.
I did.
I, the only, I guess problem is that it did take a killer instance.
Longer, I don't know what the exact size of it was, but it did take a while to.
Longer than you would expect.
According to the Xbox message, you're all set.
Yeah.
I'm all set.
You're all good.
Like this is a really trivial thing to hate on Xbox.
You do like casual messages.
But the weird like casual.
I'm a, I'm a robot and I'm your buddy.
Like technical messages.
I know.
I want the full message.
Yeah.
I want a message that says troubleshoot your console.
Yeah.
No, I'm like, I don't like it.
Like it switches to it's all good.
Yeah.
No, because that's the problem is that if it comes up and says, it's all good.
And I'm like, no, it's not.
Then what am I supposed to say?
No, it's not all good.
Yeah.
Well, I don't like those sorts of messages, but if I was a kid, I would have loved those
sorts of messages.
Yeah.
Of course.
Like if only if the yes and no are like, yeah, and no bro.
There's only one error message of any time.
Ethnic messaging is the future of electronics.
Your locale and your skin.
That's too much.
That's too much.
Like connect.
I think there's only one error message that's worse than all of that's combined.
And it's the error message of check your network connection.
Yeah.
When you know your connection is 100% fine.
When you're trying to connect to some server that's busted, they say, hey, check your
internet.
No, fuck you.
Your internet is broken.
Yeah.
The one message I do like is on Xbox, the connect command that's like Xbox screenshot
that or whatever it is.
Record that.
Record that.
Exactly.
That's easy to say.
Don't say too loud.
But it's true.
It's listening.
But on PS4, the command is like, take screenshot.
And it sounds weird when you say it.
It sounds a little weird.
Yeah.
Like take screenshot.
Take screenshot.
And it's just like.
Well, you can just make it so that the share button, you just hit it once and it becomes
E. You can put it in an easy screenshot mode.
Yeah.
You don't care about video and just store a shitload of screenshots.
I find that great.
Which is awesome.
Except that you can't just open that menu.
We'll get there one day.
I also got my pre-order bonus for getting a link to another world.
Link between worlds.
Link between worlds.
What's that?
Let's listen to it.
That's so cool.
It's a little treasure chest and you can put some 3DS games in it.
And I think.
It scares Zack.
It scares Zack a bit.
It does that a little bit.
And the only other thing is that me and Willie took the X bone to the little.
The barcade.
Barcade where I got maybe slightly inebriated but was still able to play Killer Instinct.
And we had my girlfriend and her friend.
We had a very entertaining match of KI against each other.
We were like, what's the deal with the alien?
Yeah.
It was super cute.
I don't like that throw.
It's too violent.
No, that throw is not violent enough.
But then I brought over the FGC.
You brought over Ed Ma.
I brought over Ed Ma and the fighting game community.
Is this your way?
To take a look.
I got a friend who's got an X bone.
I'm pretty cool, right?
I was just going to say what's up to the guys.
I told him we had a set up.
And Ed Ma told you he tested the game for a bit.
Of course he did.
So Matt's just playing there and I'm like, yo Matt, fight Ed Ma.
And he's like, yeah, okay, whatever.
And then he turns around and goes, oh.
That Ed Ma.
Because I remember Pat, we went to E3 and we were talking about my gross.
And he's like, oh, that's right.
And we were trying to get him to shit talk you and he wouldn't do it.
And he said, come on, come on, you know, Ed Ma is around where we are.
And he goes, yeah, that's right.
Ed is down with you guys.
Okay, okay, okay.
And that's all we needed to say.
Oh, you're inside.
You're inside.
It was super weird.
So that was me.
No, that was good times.
Of course Matt and I fucking just killed and played a ton of Ki this weekend.
But no sticks.
So it's lame.
Yeah, no sticks.
Still plays good though.
Shit's kind of garbage with that situation.
So we contacted, will he contact it for rich and ask him to patch in something.
Within like an hour of playing it.
Can you just bring up filthy rich on Skype?
Yeah.
Like, can you just get because like the, the, the, um, the right stick has like a counter
brick or short sets on them.
Yeah.
And I was just like, yeah, can you patch this in before I leave Matt's house?
Like right now we have Canadian bagging fingers.
Patch it out.
No, patch the option to take it off.
Yeah.
That's a bit much.
You can't do that in an hour.
He got it.
He did it.
He got it done in an hour.
Yeah.
But yeah, no, just running sets of that all weekend.
Good times.
Um, the Friday was just fucking holy shit.
Now, why did you go to the Friday?
If yours is, yours is coming in the mail, right?
At the time it wasn't.
Yeah.
Um, at the time it wasn't and now it's in the mail.
Okay.
From Amazon, I'm going to say.
Um, whatever.
Whatever.
Okay.
Place.
But like the, uh, the deal was I'm like, okay, let's see if I can get, you know, one
of these.
So you can do it.
You can hack the day one grab.
And also like do the score on the Nintendo games as well.
Right.
And it was just that, the double that's crazy.
That's the triple because it's Zelda as well.
Well, I count though.
I count Mario 3D world and like two worlds as the same game.
Yeah.
No, no, no.
In terms of acquisition.
And so Liam and I went down to the shop and it was at like 1015 and we didn't have
a lot of time.
So we just took a glance and we're like, yeah, okay, we see it there.
Nice.
This place is stocked up.
Let's come back at lunch.
Yeah.
The other place has a lineup.
Fuck it.
Half the people in line for their X-Bone pre-orders got turned away.
At GameStop, they're like, we don't have enough.
All of you go.
That is fucking nuts.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That is terrible.
People are holding bills.
Got just turned.
Pre-order.
Pre-order.
Yeah.
I, when I went.
Well, it was because a truck didn't arrive, right?
I don't know.
When I went to get my PS4 and it was a pre-order situation and they said, if we didn't call
you, go away.
Okay.
Right.
There were hundreds of people in that line and they said, anybody who ordered like in
October or later has to leave.
Do you know why they do that?
Because they're too lazy to call everyone.
Yeah.
I didn't see any people actually get turned away though.
Okay.
Well, I guess that.
Fuck you.
You're like the third in there.
Shit.
You're a shitty fucking car.
We should check to see if there are PS4s out for sale now because Sony says they are.
But I'm not sure if I believe them.
You know what?
I saw, I was in near here at a different mall recently and it was like a bit after the PS4
launch and there was a kid sitting on a bench for the PS4.
Who could have gotten mugged.
Did you beat him up?
I almost, it was really tempting but his little kid brother was there and I didn't want to
do that in front of his little kid brother.
It's going to be really interesting to see.
But clearly there was a second shipment.
Yeah.
It was just after the pre-order.
But the plot thickens because the, the game stop, they turned away a bunch of people because
yeah a truck just didn't show up.
That's bullshit.
And then the store that we were going to, the Best Buy basically was like we have 25 walk-ins
and then on for, on the Friday they're like actually we've got like a hundred walk-ins.
Yeah.
So do we.
We don't know where they came from.
So somebody got like from the, from the game stop truck.
Yeah.
You know?
It's a whole truck fell off the back of the truck.
I really want to say that there's Best Buy guys that jump out and do a Christopher Nolan
style like stealing of the truck.
Right.
Or just heat.
Like with a mask on.
So you should get yours today.
Yeah.
So today.
Today.
Today.
And you know because we fucking walk back at lunch and take a look and it's like no.
That pile of Mario gone.
That pile of Zelda gone.
That's nuts.
You thought we were going to walk into that.
That's the copy of Scribblenauts.
Yeah.
They were there when he walked in before.
Yeah.
They were out in two sides.
There was like 30 something copies of each.
That's bananas.
So I mean.
So how are you getting your link between Worlds and Mario?
Well, Mario, I don't mind downloading and getting digitally because apparently it's
like fucking like it fits on a floppy disk.
It's tiny.
That's what I'm being told.
What is it?
What's the size?
2.7 gigs.
I'll believe that.
Yeah.
It's tiny.
Smaller than God of War One.
Yeah.
Right.
And Link Between Worlds which is not a game I want to have on my thing because it's
like you want to play it but then you're done.
Yeah.
I'm using Billy's pre-order because he passed that.
Yeah.
Found it elsewhere.
Yeah.
Good times with that.
Friday was a crazy fucking day.
I also.
You didn't get stabbed.
That's the important one.
Didn't get stabbed.
Yeah.
But I also got home and found the little box with some like oh the little present for
me and I opened it up.
What's in it?
My Figma Samus was in it.
Oh.
Super.
What is Figma?
It's just the line of figures.
It's a line of action.
Because I keep feeling like every time someone has said that they have mispronounced Sigma.
No.
No.
It's Figma Levi.
Okay.
For example.
So you got your doll.
Yeah.
I got my doll.
I got my Samus doll.
Great.
And it's the best action figure I've actually bought.
Yeah.
Figmas are great.
Is this an action figure or like a statue?
It is an action figure.
No.
It's an action figure.
Great.
Because it's basically.
You can also pose it like a statue.
It has the posibility of a revoltec.
Yeah.
It's hyper accurate and fucking it has a little Ziploc bag for the extra hands and parts.
Yeah.
It's the best.
Yeah.
Definitely for like the characters who aren't like robots.
Yes.
You do have the funny joints but not as bad as revoltecs.
But yeah.
No.
I.
Yeah.
How's your Figma link?
Well this is pretty good.
It's really good.
Yeah.
No.
They're really like nice little figures.
Yeah.
And there's Figma Karras and all this other cool shit.
Calm down buddy.
Mikasa coming out soon.
Calm down everybody.
You're home super.
So yeah.
We'll try and get those.
I'll have a video of you guys playing with your dolls soon.
Dude.
I already.
We'll take your little Rydo dolly.
Ryho.
God damn it.
It's different.
We'll get the little dolly.
It's a different guy.
We'll get the little dolly from your house.
It's not a doll.
It's like a plushie.
It's a plush doll.
Hey.
If I'm stuck with Hulk doll you're fucking stuck with that.
Stuck with your dolly.
That came with Rydo Guzanoha too.
I'm not going to throw it out of us now.
You couldn't have lost the normal version.
No.
There was no normal version.
There was after.
Well I bought it when it came out.
Well tough shit.
And the other plushies I got my girlfriend gave me.
Yeah.
And their lemon grab and fit.
What are you?
What are you?
Shit.
Friday buying games of course.
I bought Zelda, Mario and Teraway.
Teraways.
I've only played Teraway and Mario because I want to finish Teraway before I get on
another big handheld game.
Sure.
That makes sense.
They're both fucking excellent.
They're excellent.
Like Teraway is the definition of a killer app.
It's great.
Mario too.
Definition of a killer app and I could probably say the same thing for Zelda.
Did it save the Wii U?
No.
No.
Maybe.
No.
Otherwise I saw that game play for Freedom Wars that went up.
Yeah.
Damn.
I didn't see it in the hunting games these days.
I didn't think with the persona thing we were going to have time to talk about Freedom
Wars because who cares?
I had to bring it up.
And then we both saw it went fucking shit.
Damn.
Yeah.
So they showed off Freedom Wars and like it looks like they showed the mechanics
in a very like almost sterile environment and it looks really plain.
So you know how hunting games work you run around there's like 10 people you hit a monster.
Yeah.
Well in this one you have a whip on your arm.
And you've got like the first thing.
The first thing they show is swinging on objects like bionic arm.
Exactly.
The second thing they show is if enough people latch on to the boss they can pull the boss
down to the ground and pin it.
They show this bit.
And then the third thing.
Now you have my attention.
Hold on.
They show this bit where the guy whips the guy the boss in the shoulder pulls himself
towards him slashes him on the way by goes right over turns around and does it again.
And he does it four times in a row.
And then he's before landing on him and cutting his arm off.
Very attack on Titan.
Very obviously attack on Titan.
Oh fuck because the actual attack on Titan looks like total garbage.
Shit.
So Freedom Wars looks amazing.
And like a lot of people were kind of like as really sterile.
Time to care.
If you read it like the Japanese description is like this is an engine demonstration.
You know one of those like really boring video.
That's why the running animation looks so bad.
Exactly.
But the other thing is it is an eight player co-op game.
Yeah.
And each player has an AI partner.
So you have 16 guys doing this on screen at the same time.
Sony's team that was given the orders to kill Monster Hunter seems to be doing a pretty good job so far.
They're making games.
Like between that.
Between that and God Eater.
And now the God Eater and Toki down are on their side.
Yeah Sony's going nuts with the hunting shit.
Yeah.
Freedom Wars by the God Eater guys because if you can't get Capcom pay the best other guys.
Pay the guys who made Fatal Fury for Monster Hunting basically.
Yeah.
Exactly.
The best possible clone.
Yeah.
Okay.
There were a shit ton of clones of Monster Hunter.
And then there was the one good one.
That was really really really good.
And then Sony said well Monster Hunter's gone.
So grab these guys.
Grab these guys.
And let's just make our own game.
Let's get their game and make them also make our game.
Yeah.
So that looks good.
Otherwise played Killer Instinct with Matt and Woolly.
It's really good.
Matt and Woolly.
It's weird that you're talking to us like that.
Yes Matt and Woolly.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Played it with those two.
Played it with two other guys named Matt and Woolly.
It's like Seinfeld.
It's an alt world Matt.
Yeah.
All those guys are horrifying.
I'm blacking your way.
We've discussed this already.
Yeah.
You know.
Pat has dreads etc.
Damn it.
Other than that not much though.
Just been playing those games.
They're really good.
I fucking can't wait to end this episode and get some more games in.
Yeah.
Exactly.
I just want to go play these games again.
Yeah.
You really wish we weren't wasting our time doing this.
Oh by the way.
Pat stop put down your 3DS.
For what it's worth.
Matt who are you maining?
Oh right.
Sailor Wolf.
I'm pretty sure I'm going to main thunder.
It's going to change when full gore.
It might change when full gore comes out.
I took Glacius and I'm not going full gore.
You took the weirdest character that I know you take.
It's weird.
I didn't pick the girl.
Glacius doesn't have twin tails.
But he could with the editor.
Right Matt?
We'll open up Skype.
Get filthy on it.
Get filthy on it.
Right on.
Give Glacius moley eyes.
I didn't fight with game retail this week.
Oh.
I just had Zelda and Mario just show up in my house.
Like an hour before coming over here.
Which is why when we were getting ready to start the podcast I was starting link to the
link between.
I keep wanting to say link to the past.
You know in Japan it's a link to the past too.
Damn.
Straight up.
Like Luigi's Mansion 2.
Which here is Dark Moon because sequels don't sell us.
I don't have anything to say about that shit other than it looks really good already.
So we'll talk about that next week.
Aside from that, I've watched a lot of Always Sunny.
Oh yeah.
A lot of Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
That show's so fucking good.
I can't wait for you to finish it.
You sold that show to me in the perfect terms.
You sometimes nailed something perfectly and this was one of those times.
In the end of Seinfeld, the characters are horrible subhuman monsters.
Very little redeeming human qualities.
And Always Sunny, despite it's different characters obviously.
It's Charlie and Mack and Dennis and Dee and Frank.
But they start at the level of awfulness that the Seinfeld can.
And they continue the downward trajectory.
Cause the Seinfeld guys are like we gotta quit here.
We can't go lower than this.
They tag them in.
The entire episode, one of the early episodes revolves entirely around Dennis and Dee are
gonna get addicted to crack so that they can fool the welfare office.
So that they don't have to work at the bar anymore.
Exactly.
It's so...
Just dropped some episodes.
The gang finds a dumpster baby.
Charlie goes America all over everybody's ass.
Who got deep pregnant?
It's so dark, but it's played really cheery and weird.
And for a while now, for more than one of us, like the whole thing's been, you can watch the first episode.
And get about halfway through.
Before you get too uncomfortable and you can't make it through it.
The first episode is a really hard watch.
If you power through the first one, then you're on your home set.
You're good.
Cause the first episode is called The Gang Gets Racist.
And it's so racist!
It's so uncomfortable!
I love it!
Who starts a series with that?
They let you know, man!
They let you know!
Fantastic show, I'm gonna be done it next week.
Good.
Good season, like, whatever.
Five.
Nice.
I started yesterday.
Has Matt gotten fat?
No.
Okay.
By the way, people who said way back when Matt was ripping off Charlie from Always Sunny...
Well, I wasn't, cause I didn't know what he was back then.
He didn't know, and neither of us had seen the show.
At that time.
Wow, the Matt is Charlie.
In many ways.
You sound like him.
When you act dumb, you act dumb like...
It's really weird.
Horse funeral.
It's really creepy.
Someday I'm gonna grow up to investigate Kaijuus as well.
See, it all fits together.
There you go.
It's strange to think someone is paid to write someone who sounds like someone who exists.
He writes himself.
What did you say?
It's strange to think someone gets paid to write someone who sounds like someone who exists.
Okay.
And cool tidbit.
Too deep.
Charlie and the waitress are married in real life.
Of course they are.
Of course they are.
That's not surprising at all.
As are Mack and Dee.
Oh, that's creepy.
That's weird.
It's pretty cool.
Husband and wife playing brother and sister.
No, you're thinking of...
Mack and Dee.
Not Dennis.
I'm an idiot.
No, that's fucking weird.
Yeah.
Well, it goes that weird sometimes when they get all weird and incest-y.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Speaking of things that don't fit together, how about that ending to lightning returns?
Oh boy.
Okay.
I...
I...
I did not watch this because why would I care?
Okay, hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Hold on.
We need to back off just a little bit.
This game has not even come out in North America or Europe yet.
Right.
Okay?
So spoiling the ending on this podcast, dirtbag move.
So we're not going to do that.
We're not going to tell anyone what happened.
That being said, what I can say is that this has ruined Final Fantasy.
It's...
The ending has been ripped and put on line.
I defended 13.
You did.
And 13.2 was an improvement.
Like it actually was.
Yeah.
But it's undefended.
Yeah, no, this is...
They have to scrap this.
I literally...
I gotta look at this.
This has literally ruined Final Fantasy.
Like 15 better be amazing.
Matt, you gotta give me something.
You gotta give me something.
You and I have no stake in this world.
Right.
Absolutely.
Right.
We couldn't be further removed from the battle.
And Liam and I are on the opposite ends of what happened on Final Fantasy.
You're in the trenches.
I've been hating it for like almost a decade now and he's been defending it for just as
long.
I just like out of sheer scientific curiosity.
Yeah.
You're like, how bad could it be?
Liam called me over and said, you have to see this.
And I said, no, I don't.
Well, he's like, I have work to do.
He's like, no, you actually have to see this.
This is work now.
And I sat and I watched it and it's whatever the clip is like this.
It's ending in the epilogue?
Yeah.
And I had so many questions about not even the franchise, but the video game industry
and how we got here.
And the answer...
That's what happened.
The answer to all these questions is that whoever is above Toriyama did not stop him
from doing whatever he wanted.
I thought there was a whole fucking committee to stop him.
He's on that committee.
He's on the committee.
It doesn't help the committee.
The committee is used with him.
His fetishization of his own character has gone so far as to just kill Final Fantasy.
And it's an uninteresting character.
It's a clone of Cloud.
And not even a good one.
That's what led to my questions about the state of the community.
How do we get this?
How do we get this?
So what happens if she rip off her face and it's cloudy?
He's like, kept you waiting.
You wish.
You wish it was that.
Because to me I'm like, at what point is there enough money and people on a project
that no one's able to stop it?
You can't stop the momentum.
That can't stop it.
Because all's rolling.
The Toriyama Sphere never stops, right?
They're halfway through the game and then somebody finally decides to look at the script
or something and they go, oh shit.
Oh, it's too late.
The cutscene's made.
Put it back down.
Put it back down.
Because what happens when you get a situation where you put more money into a game and you
would think like what, maybe 50 to 75 people of the 600 working on Resident Evil, for example,
would be like, hey, maybe this isn't the best way to take the franchise.
Yeah.
And do 75 people not have enough clout at that point?
When seven stops the guy on top.
Let's say it's one fourth of people who have serious doubts.
Yeah.
Okay, let's say the remaining three quarters don't give a shit and they're just working
their job, right?
Unless it's everyone, it's hard to go to the person who handles the whole project and say,
you're fucking this up.
We've talked about this before.
This really seems like a Japanese game industry problem.
Because the projects, like maybe it's kind of fading out now, but there's one guy.
The draconian dictator.
Whereas in North America and Europe or whatever, it's like, it's always like...
In fact, it's always like...
But that's not a problem when the guy has talent.
Yeah.
Kamiya, Kojima, Sakurai, Mikami.
Mikami, like when the guy is fucking crazy and he's a Nazi, but he's super talented,
that's how you want to forgive him.
That's why the perfect and awful games come from Japan and the consistently eight games
come from Japan.
That's a really good point, Lam.
That's a really good point.
I swear, that's why it happens.
Yeah, because there's the whole too many chefs versus shitty and great chefs.
Totally.
Because in the West, you have the overdone by committee.
You have Dragon Age IIs that happen because a 10 business man's decided.
You're getting on some...
Instead of, there should have been one businessman going, what are you doing, Final Fantasy?
Yeah.
And it's safer to continue business getting those eights than to stir the pot.
Make ones or fail to make ten.
So if you want to know what the fuck we're talking about, you can easily find the Final Fantasy 13
Lightning Returns ending on Vimeo.
Yeah.
Because nothing gets taken off Vimeo.
Well, I just want to say, you compared it to Resident Evil briefly.
I just want to make sure you know, Lightning Returns was actually made with a pretty small team.
Sure.
Yeah.
I just thought you meant like...
You thought it was like a 600 person.
No, no, no.
I know what I know.
Because it was like tiny.
Because the assets were all already made.
Yeah.
I know that.
I think they should have just made, like 13.2 should have been just different characters,
same universe.
You could have made something there.
Yeah, sure.
But they blew it.
It shouldn't have been a Final Fantasy game.
They should have just made it about size.
Something.
Well, from what you were from...
Did you know that the fucking Chocobo chick in his hair turns into that fucking shopkeeper
chick with the Ride Mike Chocobo song?
Ride Mike Chocobo.
That's what happens.
Oh.
And know that doesn't make any fucking sense.
Chocon Mike Chocobo.
Oh, Final Fantasy is dead.
Until 15.
Until 15.
Yeah.
If it ever comes out.
It's pretty dead.
No.
It'll resurrect it just to kill it again.
Oh.
I hope not.
15 looks really good.
Let's wait until we see the ending.
Oh, it's true.
Lightning will be back.
Well, the thing you were telling me was that like, when you look at the whole situation
of the one guy on top that no one can reach.
Yeah.
And everyone's like, Mortal Kombat Deception intro and you get their way to tell him,
don't do it.
And he's like, no.
That's really good.
I'm going to do it.
But like you're saying he's got fucking Lightning as his waifu, and that's why you can't breach
anything.
Because he's nuts.
To see the presentation video for Lightning Returns.
It's like saying with David Cage you really shouldn't put this girl in all these scenarios.
So now it's like David Cage.
And I defend David Cage a bit, but he is fucking like the worst David Cage.
Well, you remember the presentation?
He's more David Cage than David Cage.
Yeah, no.
He's literally putting out like game presentations where he is like, the character's on a screen
like during the demo and he's creeping on the character in front of the audience.
Oh, wow.
It is bad.
Okay.
And then there was the thing with the wind pose where she's got bigger and she does like
a stripper like languishing pose when she wins.
That's like Saint's Row shit.
The character never smiles, but she's going to do stripper poses?
Yeah.
That's how you know she's a good stripper.
But again, here's the thing.
Right?
I have to say, fucking you flip it over and you get Kamiya and Bayonetta, who's his super
wife totally.
But he's fucking talented and amazing.
You're totally right.
You're totally right.
So it's A-okay.
And just to get it to the point where Toriyama is like, someone must know around if he's
ruining Final Fantasy.
Oh, yeah.
Is that a while ago in an interview, he said something that was like really sexist and
offensive where he said that lightning is the first strong female character that Final
Fantasy has ever had.
Yeah, which is awful.
Which is offensive.
But you know what?
In the first game she was, but you've piledrobed that.
Okay.
But she wasn't the first one.
No, she wasn't the first.
You're absolutely right.
She wasn't the first.
But she only got worse.
Every chick that I know that played Final Fantasy games, they had a chick character that I like
that character.
She's cool or whatever.
And to say no, they were all weak.
Because even though he worked on some of those games.
Because it's the first time a Japanese game has made a concession towards maximum femininity.
Oh.
You know, in terms of appearance and not just attitude.
But like, they trash that.
Like, when a character like whatever fucking Casca or whatever gets made, it's like a huge
deal.
But he worked on FF10 and the main character of FF10 is Yuna.
Yeah.
Who wears a dress the whole game.
Exactly.
And is exactly that.
Yeah.
So what the fuck is he talking about?
And also lightning.
Well, she's the main character.
Yes, she is.
The first one.
And she's fine.
Just her armor started stripping away as the games went on.
Yeah, yeah.
No, exactly.
And her breasts just increased in size.
Oh my God.
It's such a huge deal overseas for them.
Whereas like, I find again, over here, a character like Tess, right, from Last of Us.
Yeah, comes along and you're like, that's a fucking cool female character.
I'd play a game with that character as the main character.
And but we don't like overreact to it or whatever.
It's not a huge deal because you're just like, bring me more of this and that's all.
Or Jade.
Or Jade.
Or Jade.
Jade to me is like, at least.
Jade doesn't sell.
Jade.
Jade doesn't sell.
But Jade's super cool.
Jade could sell.
It could sell.
I hope it does.
They made a game with her.
Can't wait for the second one.
They're not allowed because they gotta make advanced war fighter bomber men.
Actually it was some big brain.
I would play that.
I'd play that.
At least fans might have heard of it.
At least fans might have heard of it.
At least fans might have heard of it.
At least fans might have heard of it.
At least fans might have heard of it.
So Final Fantasy's ruined.
Hey guys.
You need more.
What's Jarn Karmak gonna be up to now?
Nothing.
I don't know but it's gonna be awesome.
What's it gonna be?
I don't know but it is doomed.
So here-
Oh!
No.
Oh!
I find the press release.
All day if they can't hit with the really huge quay.
Oh!
I find the press release from the Bethesda.
Whatever guy was really like matter of factly dismissing the fact that the dude that makes
your technology-
Sorry.
I was reaching for a third one and I just said no.
Sorry.
I was talking business.
Now that he's left they'll brand him as a heretic.
That's pretty good.
I'm really keen on that one.
Oh!
Yeah!
Okay.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Dude whatever.
He did a good job I guess.
What do you-
That was really weird.
What are you talking about?
John Carmack's the smartest person in the fucking industry.
Yeah.
That's what the press release said.
And it's like he never left id software and his part time helped design space rockets
and virtual reality.
And now he's just full time virtual reality.
You remember when he was making rockets?
Yeah.
He was doing rocket science.
Now that he's not there it's expected to be in space soon.
They prefer the term rocketology.
So what?
So what's John Carmack gonna do now?
What's he gonna be doing?
What's he gonna do exactly?
He's gonna solve all the world's problems?
He's gonna make makeup.
He's gonna make makeup for us?
Yeah.
On next year's podcast we're gonna talk about today that John Carmack is on Mars right
now.
Fighting demon.
Fighting demons.
It would be cool if he founded a company called Super Ego.
Oh.
That'd be pretty good.
Yeah.
Pretty good.
You'd like it.
I do.
Because the Super Ego reigns in the id.
Oh for what it's worth guys we should probably tell you that John Carmack left.
It's software.
John Carmack.
We said that.
No we didn't.
We didn't.
We just said what's he up to.
Oh.
We didn't tell anyone.
Yeah.
John Carmack co-creator of id software, technology guy behind everything they ever fucking made.
Yeah.
So Wolfenstein, Dune, Heretic, Hexen, Quake.
Everything.
All the sequels to all of those rage.
The tech behind rage is incredible.
I thought it broke.
No.
It was great.
It's good.
It's a launch day but it's fine.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Technical super genius helped make the Oculus Rift.
Made rockets.
Made Doom.
He made the mobile Doom RPG on a weekend in Hawaii on vacation.
Fascinating.
For all you kids he set the floor for Cliffy V's and all the people you know these days.
Totally.
Super Nerd John Carmack.
Oh I can listen to John Carmack talk about pixels all day.
I would.
He's so good at it.
Can we get him on here?
Yeah.
Yeah.
In fact we've got him on right now.
He's not doing it.
Third guest in a row.
Oh I would shit my pants.
Me too.
No but that's big industry news right there.
Because it's been fucking years.
Like his life.
You'd think he would have quit long ago.
Like everyone else in id software basically did.
And that's what's happening over at Epic as well.
What?
Cliffy quit.
Equidation.
And then all instead.
Oh right.
Well no.
Rain.
Right Mark Rain.
Rain that's true.
All these like super long term like companies that make engines have their all their creative
staff.
Just leave.
Well there was another big one too that a lot of people ignored.
Kareen Yu.
Yeah.
Who left 343 Industries for Naughty Dog and she's like the female John Carmack.
Okay.
Like she is so up there she's won tons of awards and she's amazing at fucking making
engines.
And now Naughty Dog.
That's a good place to be.
So expect a space Naughty Dog game.
It seems like there's a real talent drain from old industry company not old engine companies
where they go I don't maybe he didn't want to keep making id software five or six or
whatever the fuck they're at now.
Yeah.
And he wanted to make new crazy shit.
And they were like no John just make your rockets.
I don't know what happened.
It's weird.
Yeah.
What's she going to work on over there?
She's at the Starlight.
Uncharted 5.
Uncharted.
No idiot.
It's way of the warrior too.
Donny Dog's best game.
Crash Bandicoot reboot.
Uncharted racing.
Not because Activision.
Activision.
Except all the Crash Bandicoot shit just disappeared off Activision's website.
Except today they said they still own it.
Yeah.
Fuck Activision.
Yeah.
No never.
They said they're looking for a way to bring it back.
Yeah.
How about you bring it back by giving it to Sony.
How about you bring it back as a Skyline.
How about we all forget Crash Bandicoot.
I really like who's Crash Bandicoot.
Yeah.
Crash Team Racing was okay.
It was.
Okay.
What else is new in the world this week Willie?
Fucking Telltale Games.
Yeah.
What?
Oh my god.
I totally missed this.
What's going on?
You're working on it.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no.
Okay.
When I saw this news article.
What did this happen?
My head is trembling as I was sending this link to Willie.
Because it turns out to be true.
And I called this.
So this is a rumor.
This is a rumor.
It's a rumor right now.
But there's a lot of stuff.
What is it?
Just tell me.
It's a strong rumor.
What is it?
Telltale Games is reportedly working on Game of Thrones.
Oh.
Now a few weeks ago.
Let it sink in.
Let it sink in.
Ah.
Yeah.
A few weeks ago.
Telltale has recently nabbed dream licenses.
Yeah.
And we can't wait to tell people what they are.
Yeah.
And I remember when we were playing the Game of Thrones shitty RPG that we all hated.
I said imagine if Telltale had made this.
Dude.
Like you can't get any more gutter.
You can tell.
To the fucking stadium status.
And with that license they can tell literally any story about anybody.
There's a huge part of that world's history where nothing's going on.
Just expect.
But who cares.
Press X to bitch slap Joffrey.
Joffrey will remember that.
Yeah.
Like that's all super cool but like we like already heard like there's articles or whatever
that shitty Game of Thrones RPG they were like we have to make all these B shit characters
because they won't let us mess with it.
Of course.
But you can still like tell the story of the Battle of the Trident.
Sure.
And the thing is with these guys with Telltale specifically by all means tell me the story
about characters that are not from the show in whatever from the world.
Because they've established that they're really good at that.
Let me let your game be a backstory supplement.
Yeah.
For more Game of Thrones.
Let your game elbow its way into the canon.
Like you put in your Game of Thrones Blu-ray for season five and you go learn more about
this character and the game starts.
Yeah.
Elbow its way into the canon and then accidentally elbow the canon out of the shot.
Yeah.
Because guess what your game is better.
Yeah.
That's not feel that's got no that's not go totally nuts.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
That's a little nuts.
The locking dead.
No it's possible.
But let's not go totally nuts when the game's a fucking rumor.
But the other reason why this has like a lot of water is because AMC is like hey this walking
dead shit's all popping off.
Yeah.
So what do you think HBO wants to see.
I want a piece of that.
Yeah.
Like if that's revealed at the VAVG Xtreme Xbox Jeff Keely Doritos show.
So like I'm going to watch that.
I'll watch it just to see if that.
You're going to watch it anyway in case of Revengeance 2 shows.
No.
What I mean is that I wait until it's over.
Oh yeah.
And it's going to be the first telltale game with titties everywhere.
Well probably penises too.
And Dix.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
It's not authentic if there's no dongs Matt.
But we don't even see that in the show.
Yeah you do.
Thank you.
Of course you do.
Yeah you do.
You're pretty close to that.
We do not see full frontal male nudity in the show.
You don't see it.
Yeah you do.
You do.
But you don't see it as long and as much as you do in like say Rome.
See here's the deal.
It's not the center of the frame.
But it's there.
But it is there.
All right.
Go watch the man on man scenes a couple of times more.
Yeah.
On the edge of most scenes there's a guy just gyrating.
Go back.
You guys have done your research.
Go back and watch Game of Thrones and just look for penises.
Maybe you should start watching Game of Thrones.
No.
Okay.
Not until it's done or at least the books are done.
So I'm not going to start watching the remaining when George Martin can just fucking die.
But will you play the game?
Yeah absolutely.
Oh.
Then you're not going to know what's going on.
I don't care.
If it's random characters it doesn't really matter.
No they you'll know.
You'll know.
Yeah.
Figure it out I guess.
Whatever.
Fucking you want to talk about things no one expected.
No.
Well Ground Zeroes is going to have Xbox exclusive content.
Also.
Yeah.
So it's going to be the skateboarding minigame from Substance.
Now it's just going to be like how the PlayStation 4's exclusive thing is just the like thing
we already did.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The old school mission that we did at MGS4.
I bet since Xbox the original Xbox had that had Substance first.
Yeah.
It'll probably be some MGS2 related.
I think that's cool but I really don't want that.
I really want it to be an easy decision for me.
No.
Because it's like if it's if it's like the MGS1 whatever it's called pack or if it's
a gold skin for your Famas.
Then I know which one I'm taking.
The gold Famas.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Honestly the easy decision is who cares because this content never matters.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Like I played the Assassin's Creed 4 like PlayStation exclusive content.
The hour.
It's like a 45 minute Avaline mission that sucks.
So.
I remember.
Yeah.
Okay.
It should have said on the back of the box includes 45 minute Avaline mission.
I played through Assassin's Creed 2 or was it Brotherhood as right in the whole way.
The whole time.
It was Brotherhood.
It was Brotherhood.
It was Brotherhood.
It was Brotherhood.
It was Brotherhood.
It was Brotherhood.
It was Brotherhood.
The one in 4 was Brotherhood.
As we get further to the future it gets more and more ridiculous.
And more and more likely.
Yes please.
Assassin's Creed Revengeance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wait no we're not sure like yeah.
I don't know.
I'm struggling.
Just have a Spanish guitar remix of Rules of Vengeance.
There you go.
Rules of Nature.
Whatever.
Yeah no no whatever.
God damn it.
Yeah.
I can't remember anything.
But either way I'll Kojima play in both sides of the fence.
Yeah.
I don't know what to get.
He's batting his eyelashes and flicking the skirt around.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's kind of weird like how Capcom gave the PS3 lots of weird random fighting game exclusive
shit whereas like Capcom then gave the 360 weird Resident Evil exclusive shit.
Yeah.
What was the Resident Evil thing again?
Bunch of stuff for Orc.
Who were the Orcs?
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
But it was like a Nemesis mission.
And Dead Rising.
And Dead Rising.
It's not weird because it's just a Sony man or a Microsoft person.
It just comes down and says how much money you want for this thing.
And whoever gives them more monies gets the thing.
They throw a dump truck of money up to my house.
I'm not made of stone.
Like it's just money dollars.
Yeah.
That's all there is.
Pretty much.
If it's enough money for Peter Moore to tattoo it on his arm.
That tattoo is gone.
Oh my god.
That's fake.
That was so dumb.
Is it really?
Yes.
Did you guys know that Resident Evil 5 is also coming to the Xbox 360?
I did know that.
Oh.
Is that?
Sorry.
That was a thing.
That was a thing.
I had a point.
Yeah.
A Microsoft rep was like did you know that that's coming out?
And they're like yeah that was announced six months ago.
And he's like what?
And he's like what it was?
And he looked stupid.
Yeah.
Who's hyped for Forza?
Not me.
Yeah.
Who's hyped for spending fucking upwards of fifty dollars to buy a car as a piece
of...
You're misreading that.
That's fifty pounds.
No.
No.
I said fifty dollars because it's thirty-two pounds.
Okay.
I did the conversion.
I did my research.
You know what?
That's disgusting.
Yeah.
To be fair that's much cheaper than it is to buy a car in real life.
Whoa.
That's true.
You don't get to race around such exotic racetracks as name a racetrack.
Real life doesn't give you kudos.
So that's a good deal.
Actually this is a good deal.
A good DLC of Forza.
Yeah.
The most expensive car translates to about a hundred and twenty-five dollars.
Actually.
For real.
Coming off of eighty something pounds.
Now you could grind for it.
I was gonna say.
But you could grind for months for it.
I was gonna say the money bucks.
Did Namco develop this?
No.
The money bucks that you can buy right?
Normally in most games it works.
You buy more.
You get you know whatever.
Is this hundred bucks like the most optimized money spending or is this the least optimized
money spending?
The least optimized.
Yeah.
Like sixty bucks or something.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Basically the translation is you buy a hundred points for a hundred.
No, no, no.
What is it?
It's like you have a one to one scale.
Yeah.
At the end and at the top your savings are not fifty percent.
But they're around like seventy five.
Dude weren't the savings negative for Forza though?
There's no.
No, no, no, no, no.
There's no scale in which this is not disgusting.
No.
Didn't you guys see that?
No, no.
That's not what this is.
That's not what that is.
And the cheaper the points are.
But didn't you see for Forza how that's actually inverted?
No, it's not.
I'm looking at it.
You didn't see that?
We looked at the points.
There was a big explosion about it.
No.
There was a big thing about it.
So it's even worse than we think but that will require more research for next week.
No, but okay, but Liam, like looking at it right here it straight up says.
That's not the picture from Forza.
Okay.
Well alright.
Who cares?
We don't even care.
We'll have plenty of shit to discuss next week about how extra disgusting it is.
Sure, yeah.
But the core issue here is that Forza costs 60 bucks and has free to play microtransaction
bullshit all over it.
Which is awful.
Crimson Dragon costs 20 bucks and has free to play microtransaction bullshit all over
it.
Which is nice, of course.
Rise costs 60.
Yes.
Costs like a game.
It's got that crap as well and so does Dead Rising.
Dead Rising has it?
Dead Rising has it.
It's fucking gross.
Wow.
It's all over this shit.
It's horrible.
I would actually lead into that link I sent you today, we'll leave about that guy.
So should we expect like Italy and Pat play Rise?
No.
Italy and Pat play Rise.
No.
Okay.
Let's get off.
Fuck that.
Well, it was, no.
Okay, whatever.
Whether it's more expensive or not, there's a lot of money.
Yeah.
The point is it's free to play and DLC are getting stretched to the maximum possible length.
The length of that buck.
There was a big proposal from some guy on NeoGaff and he was like, we really need a fucking
label on these boxes that says freemium bullshit.
Yeah.
And I don't want to be all conspiracy theory console warrior here, but all four of these
games are Microsoft first party.
Now, okay.
Now here's the thing.
Yes.
Guy from Avalanche Studios, makers of Just Cause.
Wait, what did you just say?
Avalanche Studios?
That's not what he said.
That's not Avalanche.
Avalanche.
Let's go with Avalanche.
Avalanche Studios.
Avalanche.
Avalanche.
Avalanche.
And making the Mad Max game.
Yeah.
Making the Mad Max game.
Was it that Avalanche?
There's two.
Yeah.
No.
There's Avalanche Studios.
And there's Avalanche Entertainment.
Yeah.
It's the Just Cause Mad Max guys.
Okay.
And Renegade Ops.
Yeah.
Dude is like, microtransactions and subscriptions and free to play are the future of next gen
games.
That's just how it is.
Yeah.
It's unfortunate.
Now, fuck you.
No, it's not.
Except that he's not wrong.
He's totally wrong.
Except he just talked about how it's totally potentially wrong.
It's not wrong.
It's whether you like it or not, it's going to happen.
Well, I think it's only what's going to happen for the big guys.
It's only going to happen for them, but I'm not going to buy those games.
There will be games that are not shit that do this in a manner that doesn't steal from
you.
Yeah, potentially.
They're going to come along and make people comfortable.
And as long as that's setting the bar in a way, scumbags are going to continue to try
to scum you out.
Oh, yeah.
But the good guys are going to scum you out.
Namco Bandai will scum until they can scum no more.
But it'll never go away because as long as you still have those, that's fair what they're
asking you for here.
Even though I like to get insanely pissed off about this shit, there's actually no difference
between this horrible, ski's ass bullshit now compared to all the way back with the
NES era where you'd buy a game for 50 bucks and it just was complete dog shit and didn't
work.
Yeah.
Like, you mean before the NES?
You want to talk about Atari?
I bought...
Oh, right.
Yeah, it was the Atari.
Because Nintendo is what's seen.
I fucked that up.
That's my bet.
Exactly.
But you know what I mean, right?
Or just bad, bad games.
Unbelievable.
Yeah, absolutely.
Like, there are NES games that are just terrible.
Oh, of course.
Spending money to make a good game is just awful.
But the seal of quality was in place and they didn't allow you to make more than one game
a year.
I don't know.
Did Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde come out on the NES?
I'm pretty sure A.K.
Jan reviewed it.
No, no, no, no.
I'm saying that was their one game that year.
But also, that was the thing of the times because you couldn't look up reviews.
You had one magazine, there was one magazine, and that was it.
And they published it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So like, my point is, it's easy to get worked up like I do and go, this fucking industry
is doomed.
No, it's not.
Some parts of the industry are going to be complete dirtbag asshole thieves.
Like they've always been.
And other parts.
And other parts are not.
Yeah.
And there's genres and types of games that need that kind of thing to survive.
You know where this is going.
No.
Fighting games.
If they need that kind of crap to survive, then go.
First person shooters.
You might as well just tell me to die.
Good.
Go die.
Go die.
No.
It's a sad but likely reality.
And I just think that like, it's sad because of, again, the bad guys and what they do with
it, but the concept itself shouldn't be immediately, oh no, there are good free to play games.
There's no reason to throw vitriol and venom at their like monetization.
There are amazing free to play games.
Dota 2 is the obvious example as killing it.
Tribes, not in the vengeance.
Tribes.
Ascend.
Ascension.
Ascension.
We're awesome.
I didn't play it, but World of Tanks apparently is really good.
That model can totally work.
But for the time being, because it's new, all the dirtbag super publishers are getting in
and saying, hey, we don't need to actually make the game free, we just fucking make the
game bad and people will pay us more, it'll be great, you guys.
Yeah, so support indie developers and hopefully one day they'll learn to design characters
worth shit.
But for now, support indie developers.
Do you think that's the difference between all the megabucks and success and not having
that?
No, no, I'm saying you go back when Capcom and them were smaller and they made Mega Man
and they turned around and they made all these cool characters and nowadays it's a lot more
slim pick-ins for indie guys who got Shovel Knight, he's sick.
Sure.
I think Capcom...
Hyper Light Drifter's not ending up like Smash Bros. anytime soon.
He's cool, but a lot of them are just like, look at this iPhone squirrel game I made.
I think Capcom's a really good example here because Capcom, there was a part in this last
generation, we were calling Capcom Cap God because everything they were doing was solid
going.
Early in the generation.
It was amazing.
And then they got really, really scummy and their quality of their products went down
and now they're almost fucking bankrupt and that'll happen to a bunch more of these publishers.
There's only so far you can push it.
If Forza was terrible and had this stuff, that would be the end of Forza.
Right, right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's the key.
As it is, Forza's great and this stuff is disgusting, but like Crimson Dragon, it's terrible
and also has this stuff.
So I don't see a future for fucking Crimson Dragon.
Not for that game, no.
Company's fine because of Microsoft Bucks, but boy, that game, man.
This week, something interesting, Plague sends in an article.
Plague sent us an article?
Yeah.
That's not about animal penises, I'm shocked.
Not this time though.
This one's about animals.
Animal penises?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, this one's about South Korea, so I got nothing.
Please don't try to get something, just wait.
I was gonna have something, but I fucked it up.
Newly elected president of Korea wants to ban Korea's four sins, gambling, alcohol,
drugs, and gaming.
Wow, that's gonna be great for eSports.
That's so shit.
Isn't like their economy built on eSports?
Basically?
Blizzard to be bankrupt tomorrow.
Yeah, so remember when cars moved out of Detroit, yeah?
So eSports companies are losing their fucking minds in Korea, right?
That's pretty scary.
That's pretty scary when you have a legitimate business and the government says we want to
make that business illegal because it's evil.
So the deal in particular is that she's just an old, she's an old school Korean and she's
like super conservative and these are the values that are bringing us down as a society.
How old is she?
I don't know.
15?
Old.
Gotta be.
But to be president, I would assume so.
50 plus.
Just curious.
Oh, kudos on Korea electing a lady president.
Sure.
Good job.
She's gonna fuck your country.
Yeah.
And like they already have a lot of these big eSports companies and a lot of Korean
MMO companies are setting up their headquarters in Japan like as we speak.
And turning their Korea offices into shells that are basically just like that's our branch,
you know.
Just in case everything goes to shit.
Yeah.
Hey, good idea.
This ain't gonna work.
If you outlaw StarCraft, only outlaws will have StarCraft.
Now here's the thing, despite the fact that we're focusing on that because that's what's
relevant, remember that the other three things I said, we're gambling, alcohol, and drugs.
Drugs not that big of a deal.
Most countries ban that.
It's shitty already.
Prohibition.
Prohibition.
Not a good idea.
Prohibition of easily obtainable alcohol in front of your neighbor in China.
Banning of gambling.
All of these things are fun.
We should not ban all of these.
So I think it's offensive that gaming is being put alongside gambling, drugs, and alcohol.
Now to be fair, how many guys die a year in Korea playing games?
Like six out of a billion.
Yeah, but they died doing it, you know what I mean?
Like no one died doing games anywhere else.
How many people die as a direct result of drinking and drugs and probably gambling?
A lot.
But then a game happens to be on the scene.
Now the question is how many people die because they were drunk, they were on drugs, they
were gambling on e-sports.
Sure.
But you don't remember.
It's usually because the guy dies because he hasn't eaten or drank.
You only remember the stories about this, the guy that played Starcraft for 72 hours.
Or those psychos that killed their baby.
Yeah.
Sure.
Yeah.
Oh wait, yeah.
They go to an internet cafe for three days and come home and they're like, oops, we killed
our baby.
Oh yeah.
Okay, okay, okay.
I thought you were going with like the rage, the rage-jump.
No, no, let's not talk.
I sold your digital items.
I regret steering this podcast towards baby murder, so can we go back to Korea?
It happens a lot.
It happens a lot.
It happens a lot.
It's almost like it's an agenda.
It's almost like it's an agenda.
Trying to push that for SummerSlam.
You want to push baby murder for SummerSlam?
It's a new mass stipulation.
The baby's hanging on over top of the ring.
And there's like a shark pit.
Oh, guys.
I'm sorry.
That's topic then.
All right.
So good luck with that, Korea.
You may have fucked up.
It's not great.
Yeah.
You know, no one else is not great.
Hopefully they have some kind of government that stops that.
Like the president can't just go, I'm changing all this shit.
And there's people that can go, whoa, whoa, who come down there, Mr. President.
The cabinet?
Yeah.
Like the cabinet or parliament or something.
The angry army?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
That's not what I mean.
You know, their neighbors to the north kind of had a story about that one.
Kim Jong-un, now's your time to shine, buddy.
What would have happened to Korea if they would have elected Bobby Coddick president?
There would probably be so many esports.
Like, all the police would be replaced with Marines and random zergs everywhere.
Dude.
It'd be sick.
North Korea, I don't know if you know, like they're too busy killing Christians and pornographers
in public execution.
And Christian pornographers.
Which they view as the same thing.
The scum of the art.
And watching the mutual border with themselves.
Yes.
It's a bit rough.
Yeah.
But hey, Dennis Rodman.
Yeah.
Anyway, not great.
Let's move out of geopolitics.
You know what else ain't great?
It's not our best joke.
Adventure time.
Oh.
And qualify that statement.
Yeah.
Adventure time is great.
Yes.
However, the new game by wayfowards apparently B team.
Really?
Because it seems like Z team.
Explore the dungeon because I don't know.
Man, oh man, this is not even middling.
This is like lower end.
This is licensed garbage.
Eurogamer, 4 on 10.
Games of asylum, 3 on 10.
Pixel enemy, 2 on 10.
3 on 10.
4 on...
You know what's really depressing about this is that I assumed, and this might be correct
or not, that these are all the reviews of the console versions, right?
And I think they are.
And I assume the 3DS or there's no Vita version, right?
I don't know.
I don't think it matters.
But sometimes they're totally different.
What I mean to say is that the 3DS version I assume was better because that was the main,
like for the previous one.
That was what that was.
I read a review today that says the 3DS version is the worst because it looks worse, obviously.
And Lady Rainicorn does not speak in Korean.
Wow.
What?
No.
And the console version she does.
Wow.
Okay.
But dude, it's not even like...
It's not a situation where, oh, this port of it might be better because of these reviews.
No.
Because the entire concept is bland and not fun.
Right.
But I didn't know anything about the...
Like, was there any difference?
I don't know.
I only saw the console stuff.
No.
So whenever they showed off the different versions of them, they were pretty much identical.
Yeah.
Right?
And execute some gameplay on the console.
So we finally know how fans of the Bratz series feel.
Finally, yeah.
That they're not treating our brand with respect.
Oh, for sure.
And I asked you guys last time...
Us and Bratz fans together...
We're there.
We feel you.
Anyone out there, any of you guys like regular show?
Did you play that game?
There was a game of that?
Exactly.
That's probably garbage.
It's not as poorly reviewed, but it's not great.
Yeah.
Wait for...
Like, the licensed, the brand manager just said, we have these brands.
Make a game because I don't know.
Yeah.
Make a game because that's...
And this is what you got.
To be perfectly fair, let's put this in context.
Let's put this in context.
Like, way forward, I am sure was contractually forced to make a game.
Of course.
Yeah.
A year turnaround on how many SKUs...
A year being generous.
Maybe 70.
We use PS3 360 3DS.
PC.
PC.
Sure.
With a year turnaround.
Yeah.
But here's what's up though.
I'm just stunned that it's this bad.
And I know that I kind of stand alone on this one, but the last time they tried this,
it wasn't great either.
It was great.
It was well reviewed, unfortunately.
Also, I liked it.
Okay.
I reviewed it well in my head.
Okay.
It was okay.
I thought it was...
The level design was garbage.
I thought it was okay.
It was really mad.
And I thought that it could have had so much more going for it.
And I know that there's limitations because of their time and budget schedule, but it
doesn't mean that an excellent adventure game can't exist.
Yeah.
It does when it's constrained by time and budget though.
I know, but I don't want to make that concession because...
But you're not the one making that concession.
Whoever's writing checks.
I know.
But my point is that I'm not going to feel less disappointed because I know, oh, sorry,
they had these circumstances.
No, you should feel less disappointed because your expectations should be lower.
Yeah.
Well, I don't know.
Well, I hear adventure times being made my way forward.
Exactly.
No, that's stupid.
That's a wonderful dream land you live in.
That's like saying my mom always makes a great dinner, and then you walk by the kitchen
and there's a dog in the fucking pan.
Are you going to come out and be like, wow, I'm so disappointed in this dinner.
That's funny, but I still think you're wrong on this because we're backed up by facts.
No.
No.
You attest this Thor was good.
Yeah.
That was a licensed game by Way Forward.
What was the other one?
Aliens was good by Way Forward.
Yeah.
That was particularly good.
Adventure time, naturally, you would think would be the next of the, oh, this is a cool
licensed slash Way Forward.
Like, it would at least be better than Met.
You know what I mean?
It wouldn't be like just okay with you.
The original game is fine.
Okay.
It's Zelda II.
That's fun, right?
But there could have been so much more like fun co-op adventures with Jake and Finn.
There could have been animation like all over the place.
There could have been, but there's money.
Is there a point where you look at it and you say the land of U should be four colored
blobs of land?
When it comes out in a nine month turn, bro.
I don't get why curbing your enthusiasm here to use the term is necessary because do you
live in the real world?
Okay.
But like, so that means we should never expect to get a great adventure time game?
Yes.
That is exactly what that means.
But that's ridiculous.
No.
It's realistic.
And I shouldn't be disappointed when what I get is not great.
No.
And you're sitting here fucking like fine extended.
Just going like fangirling over like Game of Thrones by Telltale.
Yeah.
It doesn't make any sense.
That's completely controversial.
Because Telltale will be given money and time to make the game.
But once more, Thor and aliens were fine.
That's right.
And Sega gave the money and time to make the game.
But how could you not tell that WayFord wasn't getting money for adventure time?
Because D3 is a shitty publisher that does this.
But it's fucking adventure time.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Okay.
Hold on.
Hold on.
Shut the fuck up.
Okay.
Do you understand the concept of this developer usually makes bad games?
Or this developer usually makes good games?
Of course you do because of shit like Platinum and Ninja Theory.
Sure.
Right?
You are familiar with a brand that might not turn out so great, right?
Okay.
Can you extrapolate that to a publisher level?
Sure.
Then it was made by D3.
So your expectations should have been lower.
But WayFord.
No.
Publisher then developer.
But they make Earth Defense Force.
And Earth Defense Force looks like shit and it is a success in spite of itself.
But it plays good.
Yes.
And so it plays good.
But it does.
And like hell.
Oh my God.
This is so fucking frustrating.
Because I know.
I understand what you're saying.
But the problem is that you don't care because you love things.
No.
You refuse to qualify the statement that an adventure time that's better can and should
be made simply because you're like no.
But we're never going to get it because it's too bad.
And you're like wooly.
Wooly.
You're right.
It can and should be made.
But it's not going to be.
Because there's a difference between those two.
But okay.
Okay.
Then quantify this.
This is fucking garbage after they turn out Mighty Switch Force.
Constraint by time.
Dude it's level design.
How long did Mighty Switch Force take to make?
Probably not more than a year honestly.
Probably roughly the same amount of time.
Because they made it by themselves and they self-published it.
Sure.
All the time in the world.
Sure.
But when you look at the level design in adventure time.
Or roughly the same amount of time as adventure time.
Or half of them are just flat.
That is something we can't possibly buy.
So here's.
Levels in adventure time are flat.
Okay.
Here is where.
There's a pit or two that you jump.
And then you do your three swing attack.
Guys.
That you can't even hit anything with the second swing.
Because the first swing kills your shape.
Okay.
Hold on.
This argument will literally go on forever.
And we will not stop.
So A.
I'm watching the time.
So A.
I'm tired of it.
Because I've had it with you a dozen times.
B.
Why are you arguing with us?
The cynics.
You know who you should go argue with.
Is wait forward.
Oh yeah.
Sure.
But I'm just saying.
No.
Shut up.
Fine.
Whatever.
So me and Woolly win by attrition.
Yay.
Next topic.
Nice.
Technically you lost.
Because you're the ones most unhappy.
Yeah.
That's not how that works.
Oh.
The happiest person always wins.
But you're so unhappy with life every day.
I'm pretty happy though.
Adventure time itself is about optimism.
And being happy.
And you fuckers can't even understand that.
Because you're too big, too cynical.
Because you what?
You always have to measure life in cynicism.
Jesus Christ.
If you have no expectations you'll never be disappointed.
See like here's my thought really last but final thoughts.
Is that I got a handheld game that I felt filled the requirements and like constraint and
a budget that a handheld game has.
If wait forward said we've been working on this for three years.
Sega or Nintendo is making it.
And it was the 3DS game.
I would be like fuck this.
I'd be right with you guys.
Right with you.
But like I don't know do I live in the real world.
I do.
And my expectations were measured to the size of the project.
I would think two people working at a developer would know this.
But apparently it's lost on you.
At the same time apparently you have no problem with flat bland stages.
A lot of reviewers seem to have no problem with it either.
That doesn't make them not you and Glenn.
I didn't know.
It doesn't make it untrue.
They seem to think it was fine.
When you go in with low expectations and the game meets them or is above them slightly
then it's easy to tolerate that.
When your three hit combo can't even hit a thing three times it means someone didn't
spend a week.
So here's the deal Wally.
I went in with dirt expectations and I was happy.
You went in with high expectations and were disappointed.
Maybe I should raise them in the future.
Maybe you should lower your expectations.
I think so.
I think so.
That being said the three game is crap and we can all agree on this.
This might none of us actually play.
Because when the press start screen is the best thing in the game you have a problem.
You have a problem.
That's true.
Well one thing I think we can agree on though.
The map of the land of U that was promised to come with it was shite.
Yeah.
Because it was a map of those four blob questions.
It's almost as if they were constrained by time and budget.
Okay guys what else is new in the world of video games?
Meanwhile in terms of awesomeness the fucking review hype train on Mario 3D world refuses
to stop.
Can we even talk about this?
Have any of us even played it?
He played it a bunch.
I played it a bunch.
You played it a bunch?
Yeah.
People are calling this.
Justified.
Great.
Just add Zelda and Teraway to all your sentences and it will sound the same.
How about we don't add Teraway?
Even though I'm not interested in Teraway.
Teraway he's right and it's been reviewed very hard.
The morning it came out I was looking at it and I'm like 10, 10, no this isn't 10, no
this isn't right.
And I was like what the fuck am I in the Mario thread and I was in the Teraway thread.
So when the Mario 3D world review thread came out on Gaff and I got the link to that
I was on my phone and I was just scrolling through it and when I saw the ridiculous praise
just refused to stop from like 10 fun scores.
It was the same thing for Zelda and I'm reading through the blurbs on Metacritic.
It's like best Zelda since Link to the Past.
Best Zelda since Ocarina of Time.
Oh were these sequel to Link to the Past.
And then you go two more reviews down and it's like different reviews are best Zelda
since Link to the Past.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
Now we're trickling with the fire.
The interesting thing about Mario is I think we talked about this last podcast is that
when the Nintendo, I think it was even a Gaffler above the specific top it's saying
hey remember when the first trailer for that came out and everyone was like
Yeah.
Whatever.
Whatever.
Sure.
And then that other trailer came out that said look at all this fucking crazy bullshit.
And even on a hands-on demo we were like yeah that's pretty fun but you didn't walk away
like go in like yeah I was gonna blow my mind.
You need to see like 10 stages.
But then you see that fucking trailer of like schmop stage and like fucking Rosalina and
all that shit going on.
And Bowser in a fucking Cadillac with spikes all over.
So those levels from the demo we played were like two levels from the first world and the
boss was from like later or something.
Yeah.
But it gets better quickly.
Like the first world was alright.
It was good.
It was like an eight.
But geez it gets better.
And this thing escalated to the point where like dudes are basically going like this is
pure unadulterated joy.
That's all you needed in your life.
To be fair you said the exact same thing about Mario Galaxy when you first played it.
I did.
It made me happy.
Yeah.
I don't usually react to games.
Oh.
But that tongue.
And that rag noticed the New York Times.
Wow.
Wow.
Says the Wii U is also the only new console with a video game worth playing.
Yeah well the New York Times doesn't play video games.
That's clearly not true.
And they just go on to sing the praises.
I would say of all the games that came out on the consoles it is the highest reviewed
game.
So fact wise.
People are gushing Facebook right now.
You know like Mario.
Sure.
But only game worth playing.
Come on.
I'll say this much like if there was a time.
Yeah the word was for.
To fucking drop this.
Yeah.
The launch of two other competitor consoles.
Yeah.
To your fucking Mario game that's destroying everything right now.
The day of one of them.
It's the best possible time.
Totally.
And they sell those selling like hotcakes.
Of course it is.
Hey everybody come over to our place.
Yeah.
We got Mario and Zelda.
Yeah.
Finally.
Yeah.
If the Wii U should have launched with this game.
Boy should have.
It should have launched with this game and throw the new Super Mario Brothers.
You know that's no fun.
And I know what you mean.
Yeah.
But then it would have come out water.
Yeah.
No.
It should have come out now.
Could you.
With this game and Wind Waker.
Could you imagine the fucking mess that would be like the Wii U launched a week before
PS4.
Yeah.
With all the games that came out this year.
I don't think that you.
Hit me nuts.
That's never happened.
No.
Never.
Not all three.
Like a giant ass.
360 and then PS3 Wii later.
All three.
Yeah.
All three.
No.
The country will shut down.
Because no.
That'd be awesome.
That'd be awesome.
There didn't used to be three.
There used to be two.
Yeah.
Right.
The third guy was always in the middle on a weird thing.
Yeah.
On a weird thing.
All the way the fuck out there.
99.
99.
We're so early as to be the actual end of the prior generation.
The reason why they don't do that is because then no one makes as much money as if there
was only two or one.
You gotta stagger it out like crap.
Okay.
Right.
They don't lame it out.
Call of Duty Battlefield and Grand Theft Auto on the same date.
No.
No.
Because people need to have enough money to buy the games they want.
Exactly.
It's like crap.
But like had the Wii U come out this season with all these games we'd be going that shit.
Yeah.
Totally.
We wouldn't be doing the spot guys.
No.
We would be playing the wonderful 101.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Think about it.
But what I want was a launch game.
Dude.
Zombie, wonderful 101, Pikmin, Mario, Mario.
But that's never gonna happen.
Because no one's ever gonna.
No one's gonna.
No one's saying to put everything in the way.
It's impossible.
Yeah.
Because it's like let's make the console and like have it done and have a bunch of devs make
games for it.
Let's make your games.
But then just not release it.
Just hold it back.
That being said that's actually what Nintendo should have done and what I thought they were
doing.
Because games on the Wii fucking disappeared near the end of that console.
You remember how like Pikmin and wonderful 101 and all these games were like spring slash
winter and summer and they all got staggered to fall, winter?
Terrible.
But would Nintendo bankroll this?
Like hold everything back.
When did Super Mario Galaxy 2 come out?
Two years after Galaxy 1.
So like what?
2010?
2009?
2009.
Is that the last Nintendo game of note on the Wii?
No.
Punch out was later?
Xenoblade.
Xenoblade.
Do you remember that game?
Yeah I do.
Okay.
So that one explains why...
But Xenoblade came out in 2010.
Yeah.
So like it wasn't even like...
That explains why like X is taking a while.
Why the fuck did the Mario games take this long?
Why the fuck did Wind Waker take...
Like what the fuck were they doing from 2010 to launch the Wii U?
New Super Mario.
Oh fuck off.
No.
I think it was just that press release saying we're reorganizing all our teams.
Yeah.
And then they said HD is really hard.
It's really hard.
It's abundantly clear that they weren't actually quite ready for HD development.
And they scrambled it together and over the next two years...
They also are just talking about for 3D world they seem to know what they're doing now in
terms of working their art style into HD.
But remember too that 3D world needed 3D land before it.
There was that idea to come to fruition.
Sure.
It didn't just come out of there.
But it's just like with the huge gap in Wii releases.
Like you expected better launch support other than everything really coming out a year after
the console.
I kept having discussions with my friend because like Nintendo Direct were a thing.
And we were just like they're going to do it.
They're going to have a Nintendo Direct and announce a digital game.
Just like you know they did that with Sakura Samurai and stuff.
Yeah that's not going to happen.
For a year we were convinced they were going to do a digital game on Wii U.
You're like a beaten housewife.
But you know what?
Regardless of the timing of it.
Fuck it.
Some sick games are here.
Some sick games just...
It's finally less sick games are coming.
Finally less ridiculous to own a Wii U.
Because you can at least like as before it was this like catch 22 is like why do you buy
Nintendo consoles?
Well for Nintendo games obviously right?
Yeah.
But for a long time the Wii U was a Nintendo console with no Nintendo games.
Sure.
But now it's got Nintendo games.
They're fine.
We're fine.
And Platinum games.
Yeah.
And that's all you need.
And it's on Wii U.
It is now on the shoulders of Donkey Kong, Brawl, and whatever the fuck the New Zelda is.
Mario Kart.
Mario Kart.
Mario Kart.
I just saw Mario Kart video games.
I just saw the Mario Kart video games.
You know whatever.
Oh man.
Shouldn't we got me Tensei Fire Emblem?
How the fucking RPGs is Atlas making now?
All of them.
They have so much money.
It doesn't even matter.
In all fairness, Etrian Odyssey is made by not them.
Yeah I know.
But still.
I mean shit.
They're doing SMT Cross Fire Emblem.
They're doing Persona 5.
Tensei Game of Thrones games.
Ah, then I don't care.
You should though.
They're really good.
When is the last time a company that like took a brand and announced like four slash five
games at the same time?
Never.
Well, the only one that counts is Fabula Nova Crystalis.
Yeah.
Final Fantasy, yeah.
Final Fantasy when they did that.
But the last one that was that big.
When they said we're doing all these parts.
And that was the most unmitigated.
To be fair, it's actually three since Green and Two was already announced.
But versus and all that shit.
That was the most unmitigated disaster ever.
Well, one of them was.
It turned into three games that are not the three that they said it was going to be.
Right?
Yeah.
Like Agito never came out.
Not here.
Well, no, but Agito never came out.
Agito?
It got turned.
Whatever.
It got turned into zero.
But it's the same game.
But now Agito is coming out again as a mobile game.
Oh, I know.
But it's the same.
Like Type Zero is the one.
And then 13 was garbage.
Type Zero is fucking me.
And then versus 13 literally never came out.
And will never come out.
I remember when you kept.
No, it doesn't count because it's not versus 13.
We kept talking about Type Zero.
And I was like, what is he talking about?
What is that?
I completely forgot.
Yeah.
And then like.
You remembered the trailer.
And then we talked about it.
And then you said the trailer.
I was like, is it the one where the camera's rotating around the students with the fire
and the flag?
And I was like, oh fuck.
Yeah, that thing.
Yeah.
That one good Final Fantasy game that we're not allowed to have.
We're going to get it.
Soon.
Have faith.
I believed watching the persona thing because it was Atlas.
I don't believe Square Enix.
Have a Dracon Guard 3 exists.
No, I don't.
Have a Testament.
I will not be excited.
Okay.
I will get unhyped.
I refuse.
I refuse to become excited until they show me.
I'm going to go home and I'm going to play Unexcite Truck.
You're going to go home.
You're home right now.
No, I'm saying you.
Oh, I'm going to go home.
I'm going to play Unexcite Truck.
What is that?
Like Forza?
Yeah.
Bam.
Flower Eye Girl doesn't do it for you.
Who?
The girl with the flower for an eyeball.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I guess you just didn't see Dracon Guard.
No, I don't care.
Lovely.
I haven't beaten near yet.
I can't care until I be here.
No, I'm going to go home before I be here.
Okay, yeah, sure.
But before I start adding new weird bullshit that's kind of bad into my backlog, I should
beat games that I already own.
Sure.
Probably.
Go play near.
I should play near.
Never going to play near.
Never going to play near.
It's great.
Onwards.
Just so huge.
Fucking letter?
No, no, no, no.
What are you looking for?
No.
You seem confused.
I was laughing.
I never going to play near.
Never going to give it up.
How about the Return of Fulgore?
How about that?
In fighting games.
Well, I'm going to tell you how much to talk about.
He's a silhouette.
Two things.
One, that launch trailer.
The only reason why he wants to talk about this is because there is a potential design
of Fulgore that has dreads.
Not even true.
You're smiling so much.
Your face is cracking into grin.
I didn't show it to you, Pat.
You'll at least care.
I saw the trailer.
No, but you'll care about this at least some cool robot things that he basically looks
like Ed 209.
Yeah.
Try to shrink Ed 209's mechanics into a bot like a human body.
Yeah.
No, I threw it in because it's not just that, but the trailer itself happened last week.
Didn't that happen when you talked about it last night?
We didn't.
It was too late.
Shrinked the week.
Exactly.
It feels like it did, but no.
They dropped and confirmed that, and Spinal as well, of course.
Sure.
Spinal is so dumb.
He's a skeleton character.
No, I mean that in a good way.
Oh, sure.
I mean that in a good way.
I've never liked Spinal.
I think Spinal is the best killer instinct character because he's a dumb skeleton with
a bandana.
Spinal is my favorite killer instinct.
To me, that's exactly like the dumb 90s bullshit they should be going for.
Well, the alternate costumes are bringing all that dumb 90s bullshit back.
Super faithful.
That orchid butt.
Yeah, orchid butt.
Jesus.
I tell you, it was described that thunderous thing.
He's got a mohawk, but a black leather jacket, and jeans, and boots, and like, he's like
this punk-like made it.
Yeah, it's weird.
Fist of the North Star.
I'm picking.
Fist of the North Star.
Very good.
Okay.
I was thinking of that Biker Akuma picture.
That also is kind of what was floating in my head when I read that.
Akuma don't bite.
No, but there's a really good picture.
It just does hurricane kicks through the air.
Biker Akuma looks pretty slick.
Yeah, he's got like a tattoo of doing a raggedy or whatever.
Oh, and hey, while we're talking about it, you guys catch those changes for Ultra?
Yeah.
More of the character balance changes.
Yeah.
No, I did not.
I watched that Super and Ultra video.
Yo, Hakami's coming now.
Yeah, sure.
I mean, we, you know, no need to go like two super grand.
Oh, we're going there.
Crouching medium punch special cancel.
All right, fucking Liam, if you want to do it, let's do it.
Okay.
I needed one other person to support me.
We're doing this.
We're doing this.
Wooly.
Yeah.
Who's the fifth character?
Oh, that.
Then I don't care.
I kind of don't care either.
Dude, Hakami's Crouching medium punch special cancelable without oil.
I'll find that out when I play the game.
Yeah, yeah.
Like it's not barely new.
Like you can do Sulture 1 with two frame links instead of one frame links now.
Which is amazing.
Oh my god.
I can cancel possibly an up ball.
Yeah.
But here's the thing.
He's really, he's great.
Like when she tells her to talk to people in her laps.
Yeah, sure.
There's no hype there.
Who's the fifth character?
We'll, we'll play the game.
Exactly.
Do you just want the announcement and not the game?
Yeah.
Until, until the game is.
Because that's based on whether you get it or not.
Until the game is in my hands?
Yes, I just want the announcement.
Oh.
You guys.
You watch the Ultras at the very least.
You fucking plebs.
Yes.
Yeah.
Healings in there.
I watched the media that the company put out.
Yes, I did.
But you didn't read the notes.
Did you catch, did you catch that virtual fighter news?
Yeah.
Yeah.
The future virtual fighter is coming on December 26.
Oh, I missed this.
Yeah.
The future virtual fighter.
That was, that went up like two hours ago.
That was it.
Oh.
Also just, just as a funny note, like in terms of like what's, the balances are all like
back and forth.
The people that are the best in the game right now are currently getting a little bit nerfed.
A lot of the characters that are not super good are getting majorly buffed.
Only changes.
And fucking Oni is getting everything.
Oni's commitments.
Because combo bean is like, ah.
Oh, that's bullshit, man.
Oni can fucking FADC out of his Shoryuken now.
He can do it.
What?
No.
Oni can do everything.
Oni sucks.
No.
Now he's going to get back.
No.
I mean, Oni sucks.
I mean, I don't like Oni because I think he sucks.
Well, he does it.
That's not the kind of character I want my street fighter.
Seth is getting his giant Dalsim arm stretchy air punch back.
Yeah.
The Yoga Sniper.
Oh, shut up.
No.
It seems like bad changes.
They seem like you're making me anti-hyped for the game.
No.
It's characters that need help or getting help.
Oni needed help.
No one liked Oni.
Well, that's why he likes combo bean does.
People will like him better now.
Okay.
People that play the game know that Oni has some crazy potential, but he had some limitations.
So he needed a little bit of tweaks.
But combo bean just went overboard with it.
So you'll be hype over this broken character.
No, I'm just saying.
Because that's how you're selling it to us.
No.
I'm just saying.
It's like if you...
It's hard to...
It's going to change the whole game.
It's great.
And you're going to feel these changes.
Everything's going to be new.
Even if you're lapsed, you're going to feel it.
All I'm saying is when you say that a person on the developer team went overboard and gave
his character all the fun stuff, what the fuck do you think that sounds like?
How many fun hours you're going to have watching streams that are completely different from last year's?
I don't watch streams.
I just watch Evo.
You don't watch Evo?
No.
I watch it really?
Not SF4.
It's too slow.
Wow, really?
Yeah.
I'll watch Persona.
Everyone else's fun stuff is going to be able to compete.
Yeah.
I hope so.
Unless they completely fuck it up.
Shocking.
That looks great so far.
Cammy though.
Rest in peace.
Rest in rip.
Yeah.
Rip in peace.
She can't do...
You know, you can't do this.
Rip in peace?
You can't do this.
You can do rip in peace.
No, you're not doing...
Rest in peace in peace in peace.
You're not Doom Guy.
I can...
Rest in peace, Cammy.
No.
Yeah, wow.
They pretty much...
They're the biggest one being they got rid of her ability to do low cannon spikes.
Yeah.
So, the biggest threat ever.
Also, just lower damage and stun on her.
Are they removing that bullshit option select anti-footsy poking garbage?
Okay, I was going to guess that later because someone actually asked the question about
it.
What do you think about proximity blocking?
We might as well go into it right now a little bit.
Yeah, I saw that video and that looked like complete garbage.
Yeah.
So, for those of you who, I don't know, are following or maybe not...
You should explain it.
Exactly.
This is a harder concept to grasp, but here's what it effectively means.
It's called proximity blocking.
It was discovered in Street Fighter 4 recently, and there's a theory that top players have
known for a long ass time, but they've been saving that shit for the next secret attack.
Because people have been going backwards through videos from months ago and looking for moments
of it.
Yeah.
What it effectively is, is when I get within a certain range of your attack at a distance,
a normal attack you do, I automatically block.
Right.
That's just how the engine works.
Exactly.
So, I'll be walking backwards, and then the moment you press a button, I'm going to block
you.
Yeah.
And if you're far enough away, it doesn't matter.
Exactly.
But if you're close enough, you'll block.
Yeah.
If I get a couple steps back from where that is, then I'll just keep walking backwards.
So, where's the problem?
The problem is that because of the way the system works with cancels and animation, you
can throw out normals, right, while the other guy's doing his thing, and then use the opportunity
where you're holding back so that at the end of your normal, you punch it, you do a punch,
then you go right into a blocking animation, you do that faster than if you weren't holding
block.
Okay.
So, therefore, if you are holding back and then buffer in an Ultra at the exact moment
that your punch ended, you will do an Ultra the moment he opens up himself by doing an
attack and reacts with it immediately.
And if he doesn't do an attack, then you don't do your Ultra.
Nothing comes out.
That's bullshit.
It's pretty bad.
That's horrible.
Yeah.
Are they taking that out?
We don't know.
But there's time for them to fix it.
I think they were asked about that.
They just don't know.
It's too new.
That seems like, that's a total exploit.
That's not like, they put that in the game.
No, no, no.
It's the next one.
But to be fair, the bar for execution is really high.
Sure, but it's still bullshit.
It's being done by people that can do it.
In order to, I would beat you anyway.
In order to option select like free 50% damage and remove footsies entirely, that's nuts.
That's not supposed to be in the game.
From top player to top player, there's some bullshit because it makes something that you
are supposed to be able to do naturally harder, which is react.
Right?
So you can go back and watch those awesome matches of Chai Rithy, where he's fighting
How do you react on the first frame?
Of the sonic boom.
The moment Gael opened his hands up to do a sonic boom, ultra comes out and you're
like, holy shit, his reaction for Gael.
Or his reed is godlike.
Yes.
He predicted it so well.
No, it's an option select.
No.
I'm saying he did have a sick reed then.
He did, yeah.
But now you get the ability to have no way to.
Have sick reeds always.
Yes.
And with more ultra's and more focus and red focus, like if they don't take it out,
I see it becoming a bigger problem in the future.
Bigger problem if you have the ability to do.
Big problem.
Big problem.
I get if you can do one frame.
No, no.
It's not just a problem for people who can do it.
It's a boon for them.
It's a problem for everyone who can't do it.
Yeah.
Because what do you do?
Well, look, unblockables were in super.
Sure.
And not just the throw unblockables.
Like there was the one, I don't know if you guys saw that, but it's like shoot a fireball,
you wake up on top of it, and then I do an ultra.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that is, you have half a frame almost, if that makes any sense.
Sure.
You know, to do the precise moment of wake up on a fireball.
Yeah.
There isn't, there is no-
Skill level ridiculous.
There is no equation of, well, if it's this hard, you can do anything.
Like you can't say, well, if you put in a combat code in the numeral combat, and it's
super hard, and you just win the match.
Yeah.
Like, no.
Yeah.
Execution is not an excuse.
However, there is exceptions to that.
There are.
Yeah.
And the strongest one I can think of is El Forte doing run, stop, fierce.
Sure.
So El Forte can punch you with a fierce punch five times in a row, up to nine.
Yeah.
If he has the ridiculous execution to do it.
Yeah.
And you're right.
And it's a case by case thing.
Yes.
To me, I think this goes over the line.
Yeah.
And he never took that away because he needed it to, you know, to compete on a high level.
Yeah.
But here, we'll see.
Unless they nerf the characters without fixing it.
Like they make this person's ultra really bad, or something.
Yeah.
But no one will be happy when that happens either.
No, for sure.
Thankfully, this was discovered right in the news cycle of developing a new version of
the game.
Yeah.
Exactly.
But there was another little piece of news dropped where they're like some basic unblockables
were still found in the beta test.
Yeah, I caught that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And it's like, oh guys, come on.
That's a shame.
Delayed Wakeup will avoid that, but you know, we'll see.
Yeah, still.
Anyway, some Street Fighter shit's happening.
Delayed Wakeup's so fucking lame.
Moving on.
That's true.
Didn't you guys try Soul Calibur 2 HD?
No.
I didn't.
I have a friend who didn't.
He said it was flawless.
I didn't.
Flawless, except for the online, is what I'm hearing.
Well, he told me it was flawless, except for Killik.
But otherwise.
Okay.
What are you talking about?
Killik's stupid.
No, it's okay.
It's awesome.
Okay, come on.
Come on.
He's dumb in Soul Calibur 2.
Let's not get into decade-old arguments over balance and character design.
No, of course not.
Yeah.
But I hear that the online's not working too well.
I can't attest to that myself, but I just can only think you had one job.
Well, complete Soul Calibur 2 for the online when you've got Weapon Master Mode.
Well, when it's the name of the title, some people might be expecting to play it online.
Wait.
Didn't just say HD?
No, it's Soul Calibur HD online.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Never mind.
You had one job.
So, I was telling Willie this.
It's really, I'm not sure how you should feel about this game when you boot it in and
it's the most pixelated, stretched-out FMV you've ever seen.
Yeah, and to do it to Soul Calibur 2's FMV is basically like splashing paint on the Mona Lisa.
They didn't re-render it or get a higher quality version of the intro.
It's probably gone.
It probably threw it out.
I booted it up and it really screams to me the menus or whatever.
I don't remember how Soul Calibur was the HD version.
I downloaded it, but I don't remember.
But it really screams to me like SNK budget collection.
Oh, God, those are terrible.
It was clanky.
I'm like, Soul Calibur deserves better than this.
As long as that intro still feels like that fighter...
It's missing the main character, but sure.
That fighter PDA is true.
I'll see.
Never forget.
Namco doesn't think Soul Calibur is worth it.
And that's what's sad.
But no, because the Soul Calibur 1 HD release had fine menus and everything was crisp.
Everything looked like a better version of the DreamCasting.
And that's before Namco decided to stop caring about Soul Calibur again.
That new icon to let you know that you unlocked something new was the shiniest thing ever.
You felt good going to it.
I think how good Soul Calibur 5 would have been if it was made with more than $10.
Yeah.
And had like...
I wish that had a single player character.
I can't.
It does.
But it's terrible.
To be fair, I refuse to accept that as a single player character.
To be fair, it had a lot of laughs when we did it all out.
It's Soul Calibur 5 on a gameplay level.
It's great.
So good.
It is.
It's so good.
Kudos to the team that clutched it out regardless.
Yeah.
And hopefully you can tell us that Soul Calibur 2 still plays amazingly well?
I mean like...
Minus the broken parachute?
I wonder if they fixed the garden pick.
No.
No.
No.
No.
You keep that in there.
Mr. Rugi will fucking GI you and you punish him first.
I took Killik and like all my moves were there and like I was having a little bit of fun
but like I have other games to play honestly.
I feel really terrible saying that about Soul Calibur.
How's Link?
Lack of Link but hurt got you down?
Yeah.
A little bit.
Is Heihachi in it?
Oh yeah.
Did you play a spawn Heihachi match?
Just to see?
What?
Did you play a spawn Heihachi match?
Just to see?
No.
Don't pick those stupid characters.
He's awesome.
In Tekken.
Yeah.
He's awesome all the time.
I played Necrids in it.
I would play it.
I would play it.
Necrids in it.
I'm so pissed.
It's the worst.
It's really the worst.
He's in the fucking intro.
He made the cut.
And the awesome Link thing isn't in there.
Yeah.
I still don't get how you abandoned the most popular version of Soul Calibur.
Because it's not coming out on Nintendo console.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I bought the Gamecube version of Soul Calibur.
No.
Not you.
Namco version.
Namco.
Okay.
Because you were looking at me when you were saying that.
I was like raw.
I didn't abandon Link.
It's all the more surprising considering how buddy buddy Nintendo and Namco are right
now.
It's weird.
It's weird.
Yeah.
No.
But for me, I fucking loved it, was the ability to switch between English and Japanese voices.
Yeah.
Wait.
Now it's only in English.
Oh really?
That's terrible.
That is terrible.
I didn't look into the option.
Because the Japanese Soul Calibur voices were great.
Yes.
And specifically fucking Nightmare.
Here we go.
Yeah.
Just kidding.
Just kidding.
Right.
And Astoroth and Nightmare have the best Japanese voices.
They're pretty good.
And Mando, do I miss those?
Oh man.
So that's kind of raw.
Soul Calibur 2 Nightmare still the best Nightmare.
Take it out.
It's the file size.
Probably.
Which the limitations were removed.
No.
No.
It was probably a licensing deal.
Oh yeah.
Are you familiar with that one?
It's Japanese voice acting licensing.
You're right.
It's the fucking Shady.
It's bullshit.
It's not straight up.
Oh it's dumb.
Damn.
That's dumb.
No one's happy now.
That was probably it though.
I'm really sad you told us that.
Well.
Oh it's letter time.
It's letter time.
It's letter time.
Oh dude it's letter time.
No there's probably good letters in there.
Look he just picked fighting games shit.
There's probably good letters in there that people sent to super best friendcast at gmail.com.
Where do they send those letters?
Sometimes if they wanted I guess they could send them to super best friendcast at gmail.com.
Maybe.
Well actually the first question would be how buttery are you that there's no Japanese voice
acting.
We already picked the questions.
No sometimes he doesn't.
Sometimes he doesn't.
That's why there's weird pauses.
Yeah.
All these questions look like garbage.
Oh crap.
If I get the chance to filter I do.
Filter for woolly's hair.
So you hear that everybody?
The last question sent in have a totally unfair advantage.
That's not true.
Okay.
In a panicked week?
Yes.
But I totally go back through.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Alright alright.
Daniel asks, hey super best friendcast, I just realized that you guys have mentioned
that there's more than one dork girl.
How many are there?
There's three.
There's three.
There's three.
I thought there was an infinite number.
Well they spawned.
One would hope.
They're kind of like ayonamis.
Yeah exactly.
There's two that's a set and then there's one that's like by yourself.
Yeah.
Those are the special ones.
Yeah.
That's it.
Three.
There you go.
Trying to catch them all.
I'm working on it.
Oh.
And then here's the other guy that asked about.
It's not going to work.
No it's not.
Sorry.
No no it's not.
I thought you were already asking the other question.
It was the proximity guard.
Alright.
So whatever.
Giovanni.
Giovanni.
Get the fuck out.
How's your Persian asshole?
How's your porn career?
I'm sure.
Can they be the same person?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I think they can.
Anyway.
That was a dark episode of Pokemon.
Me too got involved.
Since the holidays will be upon us soon I was wondering what's the worst game you guys have
been given as a gift?
Oh damn.
Easy ass answer for me.
Oh yeah.
Okay.
Because I was given one year I was given Mindjack but the year prior I was given a copy of
Jumper.
Oh.
And you guys played Jumper?
Jumper.
For those of you who might not remember that movie, that blockbuster.
Right?
That's game.
You're not doing the full title though.
It's Jumper Griffith Story.
Griffith Story.
That's true.
It's stupid that you know that.
Oh man.
Okay.
This fucking game was given to me as the ultimate troll gift specifically because I worked
on it.
It was your fault.
Yeah.
Right.
No.
This game was one of those things where they, I remember they refused to tell you in
for one of the achievements how quickly you could beat the game in because they said people
would be disappointed finding out that you could beat the game in 24 minutes.
No one would be disappointed because no one would be anticipating it unfortunately.
But everyone that saw the movie that got really hyped?
No one.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a really bad gift.
How about you Matt?
I think I got better examples but the one that mostly sticks out of me is that a neighbor
bought me Friday the 13th for the NES.
Wow.
Now to be fair I was at an age where I was like whatever, super cool.
I love, I'm not allowed to watch Jason movies but I have the video game and I put it on
and then I was like aww.
And I think like in terms of gifts, like the first worst game I ever just got for myself,
I think I mentioned this was the Predator game on the NES and I cried when I played
it.
What was that like two weeks ago?
Yeah.
I'm a weird angst asshole.
I have a weird answer because the worst game I ever got with a gift was part of the best
Christmas gift I ever got where I got Sonic 3D Blast for the Saturn for Christmas along
with the Saturn.
And that game is terrible but my dad wanted to get the Genesis version and totally fucked
it up and got the Saturn version and they're wrapping the presents and mom goes that's
not the thing that they have and he goes oh shit and tries to get the Genesis one sold
out so he's aw fuck it I'll buy the kids a Saturn.
And that came with Virtua Fighter and Virtua Cop and Daytona.
Everything turned out okay.
It came with it.
It came with it.
It was a bundle.
Wow.
I know.
Back when games came with consoles.
No the Saturn was dying.
The Saturn was dying.
No don't get hyped.
The Saturn was dying.
So Sonic 2.
So I got the new console and I was like oh man now I can play Sonic 3D oh this game is
dog shit.
Oh it's terrible.
I'm gonna go play Virtua Fighter 2 instead.
Oh Virtua Fighter 2 is so good.
Hey at least you didn't get the Genesis version of Virtua Fighter 2.
Oh that game is great.
That would be a big fuck up.
That game is great.
A bigger fuck up than that one.
That game is amazing.
It's actually not as bad as Sonic.
I don't know.
I feel kind of bad.
The worst game I ever got was the Simpsons Road Rage for Game Boy Advance which was one
of those like mode 7 racing games and it was just like crazy taxi clone and it just wasn't
very good.
I love that you say that because I just in one of those retro game magazines I usually
buy I was not aware that there was a GBA port of crazy taxi.
And there is.
Yeah.
What?
Now was either of those two games made by Digital Eclipse because there's a one in five chance.
I just want to say you might have a thing.
About 20% of the games on the Game Boy Advance are Digital Eclipse games.
It wasn't great but like my dad bought it for me.
He didn't know anything about games.
He just knew all like the Simpsons and like I really appreciated it.
I did play it.
Oh listen to this baby with some emotions.
Like I feel bad.
The actual like footage is Liam just fucking throwing a tantrum.
No never.
No I never.
Kicking glasses and milk.
I was not unhappy.
I played it.
Dad why are you such a chode?
Shut up son.
No.
I love my dad.
Shut up son.
Go back to watching your girl shows.
No.
I got this moose to kill.
I've been trapping for a week.
Whatever.
Okay fine.
Yeah.
John asks, hey is I back too big fan?
Been watching you guys since before Liam.
Are you having trouble reading this?
Been watching you guys since before Liam's Domination?
What?
It happened.
What?
And it hasn't ended.
Damn it.
It's an ongoing campaign of Domination.
If you could make a current gen port of any weird obscure, unfamiliar like Xbox, PS2 or
otherwise like old gen games.
Any game?
I guess not going back too far but he said Xbox, PS2 and I throw the handhelds of that
era too.
Okay so like Game Boy Advance forward.
Yeah.
Like what ports?
I don't know man.
They did all the ones I wanted.
They did Zoey.
They did Devil May Cry.
They got Res.
They did Res.
They did Res.
I got one.
Go ahead.
Shoot.
I would take a nice port of Hotel Dusk.
Sure.
Sure.
I'd be nice.
I'd like to see that prettied up and dolled up and ready for the ball.
Yeah.
You know?
Take a frispin.
Man I got nothing.
Remake or port did you say?
Port.
Well.
I assume you get like a blue point quality port.
Like a nice.
I'd like a better version of Set Out of the Colossus.
It's a drive port.
What?
The current one is the one.
The one that yeah.
I want one that doesn't have completely fucked up controls.
Right.
And you're everything.
Oh.
Easy one.
I'd like Silent Hill 2 and 3.
Sure.
Yeah.
Sure.
That's a fair one.
Matt you got any?
Yeah.
It's not.
I'm scared.
I don't give a shit.
So this is.
Okay.
GBA onward.
This is the type of thing that I think about all the time but now I'm asked the question
on the spot.
Yeah.
Your gun performance things.
There's a million.
Sometimes it happens.
You know that.
Happens to everybody.
Not me though.
Yeah.
No.
All the time.
Yeah.
I was told.
Anyway.
By Liam.
Anyway.
Sorry.
I like a like redone whatever those Godzilla fighting games like the redone retooled faster
or whatever.
I'd like one of those to be put on like a current thing HD make it just better.
Yeah.
I'd say that's fair.
But I usually think about this a million times.
I think you know enough that I really want the Capcom game codename viper redone in a
like a Bayonet commando sort of way.
You wouldn't be down pat for like a God hands like dump on sure.
But I already have God hand on PS2 classics.
Better looking.
It looks better.
Why not just for ask for RE4 again.
I'll have RE4.
I'd buy it again.
I don't know man.
I got it.
I have all of the old things that I wanted except for the ones they fucked up.
I got a few.
I mean Killer 7 is one that I'd like to come back.
Yeah.
F0 GX is one that I don't want.
Yeah.
Well no.
Just a new F0 game.
No.
I take GX.
It's fucking phenomenal.
He's right.
It is phenomenal.
There's a couple of GBA games.
You know there's a soundtrack of just the vocal like tracks.
Yeah.
That's amazing.
There's like a couple of GBA games that I think would like kind of suit it.
Like Saber Wolf which is super topical because they just came out.
The original Saber Wolf.
Yeah.
Exactly.
That was a really fun game I found.
The Castlevania GBA game.
Oh I know.
You know.
Oh it's too far back.
Nevermind.
You know what.
I'd pay dirty money for the Castlevania GBA games on Vita.
Because they would look phenomenal.
Okay.
Sure.
Sure they would.
GBA?
Yeah.
Dude they would.
The old letter box inside.
No.
If they spent money.
No.
We said like a hexadrive port.
Like you're getting a good port here.
I love hexadrive so much.
Me too.
Okay but not that like, what am I thinking of?
I'm thinking of like Mega Man X on the iOS.
Yeah.
Kind of like we're just going to paint bucket fill these sprites.
Not that look.
Well me and Pat are on the page of Wind Waker HD and Zoey 2 patch.
Yes.
Like a hexadrive.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Sure.
So like really good shit.
I don't know man.
I can't think of anything.
Obscure.
How about obscure?
Yeah.
That gets sucks.
Re-release the Berserk PS2 game in English and in HD.
That wasn't the most interesting question.
It was just a question.
Well then get me a new question.
Yeah.
Mal asks, be honest with this one is the title of it.
No.
Not happened.
The most embarrassing slash most successful attempts when asking out a girl.
What?
To ask out a girl.
You want both answers?
No.
Like pick one.
You're most successful or you're most embarrassing story?
That works for you.
That you're willing to share with a couple hundreds.
Well this one time when we walked out of the glory hole and I was like hey you want to
go, no.
Like when you talk about a story that you just don't remember me but it makes you upset when
you do.
Like embarrassing?
That's like the horrible and painful and hurtful.
That's still embarrassing.
I guess like my current girlfriend like I was like man this isn't going like I was
trying to you know.
I want to ask her out and I was like this isn't going well.
And she had the exact same thing and I called her one night and I'm like look I'm sorry
this isn't, I really like you but I can tell it's not working for you.
And she's like no wait really?
Like it was the most awkward like so we're going out now right?
That's the best quote.
And on the flip side the most successful was where like I just kissed her and it went downhill
from there and then she was like we're going out now right?
And I was like yeah.
That's confusing.
That is confusing.
So like opposite ends.
What does that even mean?
Well you can figure that out.
Okay.
I'm not going out of details.
That kind of like my current girlfriend I assume she had a boyfriend because she's super
hot and all that but when we're talking on Facebook and kind of flirty and I was kind
of like okay because I'm like that but in real life after I sat you two down at the
same table.
Kind of yeah.
And then after that we're talking on Facebook or whatever and then eventually she goes are
you just going to ask me out or not?
That's great.
Oh shit.
So it was kind of embarrassing but also successful.
So there's that where I was like oh I didn't know that I was even in contention for this.
Sure.
Yeah I got nothing.
Yeah I mean personally everything has either been too normal or too much of a disaster to
share with this podcast.
I don't have either exactly like I don't have any main disasters.
There was one time I thought I was going to get set up but I didn't.
The person was just really late and I was like oh that's cool.
Close call you know.
And yeah like just normal hey let's go do a thing.
Or let's not do it.
Like we're all out with a bunch of friends and then let's go this way.
My current girlfriend we were at a cool electronic show called Designer Drugs.
It was an awesome group.
Pretty slick.
And like we just separated from the group and had a good time and that was it.
Like Designer Drugs.
Which is the name of the group.
Yeah the group that designs the drugs.
Of course.
Double D for sure.
Alright well whatever.
Sorry you're not getting anything out of it.
Yeah your arms crossed man.
Alright that's fine.
Andrew asks hey guys I'm wondering why you have such a huge hate boner for the Dreamcast.
Pretend for a minute that the live span wasn't under the care of Sega.
The VMU was ahead of its time and the Dreamcast was the way for online console gaming as we know it today.
Not to mention it was the go to console for arcade ports.
What are your thoughts?
Now let's take this in turns.
Yes let's do that.
I absolutely agree.
Starting with Pat.
Okay sure.
I don't hate the Dreamcast.
I'd say that to piss off people that love the Dreamcast.
Because people who love the Dreamcast are so fucking annoying.
Because when I had a PS2 all I would ever fucking hear is a
Oh man he was so much better than his Dreamcast.
Nah.
Scott Arcade.
Like shut the fuck up.
Powerstone is so awesome.
And every time I would play a killer app on the Dreamcast.
Yeah that's alright.
This controller is garbage though.
Okay I'm gonna go back to playing Final Fantasy.
Okay bye.
Okay well I also like to make fun of people that like the Dreamcast a lot.
I think it's hilarious because it's such a failure of a console from like a business standpoint.
Oh yeah.
Like huge amounts of money wasted.
Shenmue was like did not sell well.
Nope.
It didn't save the console.
Nope.
Whatever but that's all the things.
But when I first played the Dreamcast I was forced to play Third Strike with the worst
D-pad for a fighting game ever.
Yeah.
I was able to play Third Strike relatively fine on the 360's patch.
Yeah.
It was not optimal.
Yeah.
The Dreamcast bad just ripped up my thumb.
Just ripped my thumb's butthole all up.
It was terrible.
Got it all up in it.
It was the worst way to experience Third Strike at home.
But other than that I don't actually hate it.
There are the Berserk game.
I really like it.
Whatever.
And I love Powerstone.
And I love some of those arcade ports.
And I think I told William this is that the Dreamcast aside from maybe Sonic Adventure 1
and 2 and Shenmue it lacks a giant game.
That's not an arcade port.
It lacks sort of big experiences.
I just want to point out there is one thing I genuinely love about the Dreamcast.
And that's the fact that you could play Quake 3 with a mouse and keyboard against people using
controllers.
And that shit was hilarious.
It had no chance.
It was sick.
I guess that's about it.
I enjoyed the troll arguments that we have from time to time almost like on a monthly
basis.
Because it would basically be me yelling at the both of you over the phone.
Stop hating the Dreamcast!
And you guys go in like well if there wasn't such a shitty console we wouldn't be hating
on it.
To the point where we got into the dumbest argument ever where it was fucking like okay so what
you're saying is I went to the arcades and I spent money and I didn't do it enough that
it would balance out the amount that I had to spend therefore going to the arcade and
spending that quarter every day or more was worth it.
And I was fucking ripping my hair out.
The Dreamcast is one of the best consoles ever made.
I fucking love it.
I think it is hilarious material for the channel.
It's a shame about the controller.
I think it's to go behind that fourth wall.
I think it's a hilarious thing to rag on.
But as an actual console in the grand scheme of things it's one of the fucking best.
I'd be way more inclined to agree with you if I just didn't hate that controller the
most of any controller ever save for the Ouya and the Duke.
Now there's a lot of things that they did wrong with the timing and all this and the
boil down.
So early.
But ultimately nothing really did put the nail in the coffin like the fucking pirate
ability of everything.
Which was hey do you have a CD?
Got a burner?
You know what's better than no copy protection on your software?
Any copy protection on your software?
So yeah for me the Dreamcast quite simply meant the first time that we had fucking
VMUs with little screens on them like doing things that the Pocket Station tried.
And it barely existed in America.
And VMUs actually had shit going on.
I went to school and traded save data with my friends VMUs.
We've come all the way back now to people saying oh the second screen device shit is
so important.
Sure.
That's what the VMU was.
Because it was always a good idea.
Yeah.
I hate it though.
But I love it.
The first console or at least like major release where you had four ports just looking at you
like that.
Yeah.
I mean not kind of no obviously N64 did that.
Yeah like five years before that.
I don't know but I mean like okay.
Specifically.
Yeah.
They looked at you though.
No.
Specifically when you had games like Gala Legends and you had four player arcade games.
Or any of the legendary 2K sports games.
And which redefined sports at the time.
Yeah.
And me being an arcade fucking loving dude like every arcade game specifically the Capcom
Fighters it was the only place to find them.
It's a shame about that controller.
And you couldn't play Third Trek anywhere other way else.
The ports of Marvel versus Capcom.
The arcade.
Yeah exactly except for the part where the PS2 wasn't there at the time.
Yeah it didn't exist.
Yeah.
You could just play it a better version.
And the PS1 ports were unplayable garbage because they couldn't even load two characters
on the screen at the same time.
Yeah that was bad.
Um you know so those were all there amazing exclusives rival schools etc.
So one of the best I bought five of them and fucking.
Not at once though.
No.
Over the years.
No I once.
I thought you didn't want to be corrected.
Over the years I've learned to open up and tweak and refurbish these things.
Bully is literally keeping the Dreamcast alive.
Yeah because god damn it that console deserves it.
Yeah in 1999 to 2001 nobody where I lived had a Dreamcast.
Shocking.
I didn't see a Dreamcast.
Hey guys what not many people own Dreamcast.
No I know.
That was actually the problem.
I realized but I didn't see a Dreamcast until like 2005.
That's pretty late.
Right.
I didn't touch the Dreamcast until like 2008 or some odd.
And I bought a Dreamcast and I bought Chuchu Rocket, Jetgrind Radio, I bought Shenmue,
I bought Triggerheart Accelica, Crazy Taxi, I bought like tons all the staples.
And I came home and I popped it in and it was the fucking best.
All these games hold up so well except the fantasy star because it's missing half the
game.
I'd say more than half.
More than half yeah.
It was so fun.
But anyway they hold up so well and like they are my go to whenever I need just a fun game
with no patch bullshit and I don't want to go back all the way to NES and I just want
that cool early not early but that cool like 3D middle ground between current gen and you
know like the fucking Saturn.
So Calibre 1 looked better on the Dreamcast than it did in the arcade.
Skies of Arcadia.
Skies of Arcadia.
If you only knew about it because of the Gamecube remake then like I feel sorry for you man.
Better on the Gamecube.
I know.
Hey no wait a second.
Fuck you.
You can't sit around and play shit like fucking Umbrella Chronicles and say well I'm glad
I never played the Originals.
Good for me for waiting.
I didn't say that.
That's ridiculous.
But you've said that.
I'm glad I never played the Originals.
That's bullshit.
Not glad but.
But I just happened to not play them and then I played that and I was like okay sure.
But if I wanted to have gone back to those games I would have.
I just didn't.
Regardless Skies of Arcadia was a great game then.
It's sad you never heard about it on its weaker version.
But yeah.
One of the best back then.
I played a shitload of games recently.
I bought an egg on there for sure.
That's what it stands for.
That game fucking holds up.
I want to buy Shenmue 2.
I want to try that and like.
It's a cliffhanger.
I'm aware it's a cliffhanger.
But I chose to have it better than the first one.
Yeah.
It's there.
Evolution was there.
Evolution.
Yeah.
Evolution Worlds is on the GameCube.
But yeah.
Evolution was there.
I still need to pick that one up.
But I really like the Dreamcast.
It's a good game.
So basically the Dreamcast is horrible and if you like it you have a horrible mangled monster claw.
Yeah.
The controller is great.
I like the controller.
Okay.
You're a psycho.
Last bit on the controller.
Mind you.
Like this is where I will agree that the d-pad's not great.
The analog sticks terrible too.
And the buttons.
And the triggers.
And the shape.
Okay go.
The buttons are fine.
The buttons are fine triggers are fine.
Analog and d-pad are not super great .
Those are not fine.
The triggers are fine.
d-pad though you get used to it.
And it's not offensive.
This is the worst controller over.
We're holding the D Omicron indirect controller.
This is so-
It's like how you get whipped in likeone dungeon and you get used to it.
No.
Cause I don't I personally, I don't feel you can-
No that's way easier than getting used to the Dreamcast.
I don't feel you could ever get used to-
That's the sound of the controller right there.
They're great.
I don't feel you could ever get used to the Duke.
I think the Duke is just a bad controller and it feels awkward forever no matter what.
You're right.
And so is the Dreamcast controller.
But no.
Because me and everyone I play games with, we got used to it.
You know what?
No.
Everyone can get used to anything.
You've seen Linda playing Monster Hunter with the fucking claw.
Okay?
People will get used to crazy shit.
I, again, I bought a Dreamcast in like 2008.
And now you have busted wrists.
Yeah but that's because I'm Kid Icarus.
Is it?
Is it though?
So look, we already knew-
Are you sure?
I am pretty fucking sure.
We all know that you're a controller, Nazi.
You're insane with controller.
I have a stack of sealed controllers on my wall.
For the first-
For the future.
For when I get this controller.
Yeah that sticks bad.
Exactly.
So you're almost disqualified from this conversation.
No, I'm super qualified.
Because you throw out working controllers that have no problems with them.
They don't feel right.
The R2 on my PS3 DualShock, it makes a noise when I touch it.
That's crazy.
The wire is bent a bit too much.
For my part, if I hadn't been forced to play Third Strike on-
You weren't forced.
No, we were forced because we rented it and everyone wanted to-
I know, you know, I want to play Street Fighter.
You make it sound like your parents-
A guy from SEGA, so you need to play this to keep this busted system alive.
Well, no.
If I had not had a fighting game-
See, great for punchlines, but not for truth.
If I had another-
If we weren't playing a fighting game, we weren't forced to do, like,
fireball motions on the worst D-pad ever,
then I might not have had such a poor experience with it.
We were just playing like random adventure games,
like the two or three adventure games that were ever released in the console's lifetime,
and not just, you know, arcade games.
We might have, like, had a better impression of it,
and it wouldn't have been as bad as my memory is given to me.
Sure, yeah.
We should play some Dreamcast games.
We should.
We played enough.
No, you haven't played Egg Games.
I bought a bunch that we haven't played yet.
Dude, Egg is the best-
Isn't that stupid?
I'm like, yeah, it's kind of-
I'm buying Dreamcast games fairly regularly.
You go find me a fucking version of Capcom vs SNK 1
with everything and the menus and the music and all that shit on any other console.
Can I play it with an arcade stick?
Everything.
It has nothing in it.
The PS1 version has nothing in it.
Pro?
Pro, it's got it.
It doesn't have all the shit in it.
It's super gimp compared to what's on the Dreamcast.
Sure.
It's not a legit version.
All the PS1-
Can I play it with an arcade stick?
Yes.
Do you have an arcade stick?
Well, that's not up to you.
No.
Because the question of can I play it is, like, if you got CVS 1 of these just, like,
could I actually play it with an arcade stick?
I got a buddy who's got a wire that he can plug into a stick that'll-
Good.
Yes, you can.
You can.
You can.
Because I have a Dreamcast, the PS2 converter.
Great.
So I can make you play guys play some games?
Why are you getting excited for something he's never going to do anyway?
I know.
But all your controller rules, you'll connect it up and I'll be like,
this arcade stick feels like it's got bad controls now.
Pat, it's your arcade stick.
Honestly?
Why did you ruin my arcade stick with this Dreamcast?
Completely forgot that I have a PS2 converter, so you can play PS2 controller on your Dreamcast.
Nice.
So shut the fuck up about that.
Hey, don't worry.
I can patch in to put a good controller to take place in this shit controller.
It was the best place to play Metal Gear Solid for a bunch of years, too.
Also, do you remember a time when you-
The Dreamcast.
Do you remember a console that allowed you to do VGA output?
No.
Right?
That's impossible.
I appreciate VGA output.
You were a full crazy taxi.
When I bought my Dreamcast and I got these shitty ass cables,
I'm like, how am I going to replace these?
And there's like a billion fucking new cables available on the internet.
It's great.
Yeah, and I got a VGA to component and put it into my HDTV.
And it looks great.
HD Dreamcast, baby.
Long live the Dreamcast.
Yep.
No way it was a piece of shit.
But it gets better if you use Dreamcast with that.
Oh, I see where this is going.
Do Metal Gear Solid looks great?
Metal Gear Solid and HD?
What is unintended?
Can we get a good question so that I don't have to-
No, that was a good question.
No, dink of the Dreamcast out of my nostril.
No, questions are over.
Oh, no.
Come on, give me one more.
Wait, actually, no.
No, it's a-
No.
No.
Everyone else left.
No, I mean, there's two here.
I'm like, neither of them are happening.
It doesn't matter, because everyone's stopped the-
Just scroll down.
Just listening to the podcast and we start talking about the Dreamcast.
No more questions.
Aw.
As soon as we started talking about the Dreamcast,
people inexplicably started going online and buying PS2s.
Oh, no.
How have God blighted Pat this week?
Here's how.
These fucking local telecom motherfuckers-
Oh, yeah.
Set up a goddamn kiosk-
Oh, yeah, I was there for this.
They set up a fucking kiosk in the lobby of my building.
I had to dig around that to get to your place.
So that's disgusting, but I could live with that.
I could deal with that.
I would just give them a dirty look every time they saw me,
and if they tried to talk to me, I'd say,
fuck off, buddy.
Work fine.
But then, I'm on the top floor of my building.
I'm on floor number 10.
I leave my house to come over here to shoot some video,
and I walk out, and there's a guy on the clipboard
walking down the fucking hallways,
waiting for people to run into him in the hallway
so he can tell us about some bullshit contest.
That's bullshit.
And what did he do to you?
He shut his mouth once I started to talk to him calmly.
Yeah, I let him.
Right.
Calmly, I soaked in.
Your very existence blighted you.
No, he saw me and said, hey, man, we got a contest downstairs.
Under the watchful eye of your landlord.
And I totally lost my shit and said,
what the fuck are you doing?
This is my house.
Get the fuck out.
Don't you fucking dare come to my apartment and knock my door.
And he doesn't know where I live,
so I hope that scared him off the whole floor.
Why don't you just say I'm not interested and walk away?
Because fuck them coming into my house.
But your building pays them to do this.
If I had a home, if I had a home,
I would have a sign on the front lawn saying no solicitors
and I would shoot at people who came on my line.
You should probably not do the shooting,
but yeah, having a sign would scare a game.
I would have a scary dog.
Yeah, I was going to say I would have a junkyard dog.
I support that.
That's fair.
And I would tell it to kill anybody who came on the lawn.
I'll let you backbend to the bad party.
Okay, okay, hold on.
Not, not, not just salesman, just door-to-door salesman.
That one time I visited...
That's great.
That's the most specific training ever for a dog.
One time I visited Oklahoma and I saw that house
and the only thing you're missing
is the goddamn black lynched dummy
hanging off the edge of the porch.
No, no, no, no.
Don't you die, goddammit.
Fuck you, don't.
But everything else you describe is there.
You can hate solicitors and not hate black people.
Can you?
Can you?
No, solicitors aren't even black people.
That's very true.
Remember the time we were coming here
and that woman was just standing in that hallway?
No, that's what I...
This woman was just going in that hallway,
just knocking on doors, going,
Hey, do you want to buy dumb shit?
She was just standing there
and we were like, who is she?
She doesn't belong in this floor.
She's too hot to live here.
And we walked by her and went inside.
She was attractive, so I was like,
what are you...
And then she eventually,
after we walked past her,
she then knocked on the door
like five minutes later or so,
tried to pitch some shit.
She has tech.
And you were like,
You try to do this.
We were like, no.
And then after you were like,
man, what a stupid fucking...
And you went off.
And then it was like, hold on a minute
and then double check.
And yeah, she's right by the door
and listening to it.
Fuck her, fuck her.
She deserves that.
Crying.
Goddammit.
Telemarketers and solicitors
and people going door-to-door selling candy
for big drives or some shit.
They need to all go fuck off.
I thought you're going to be
a bit harsher than that.
Every year, every year some...
Back when I lived with my folks,
some girl guys would show up
and they would be assholes.
What? No girl guys?
They would try and guilt you.
Delicious.
They would be like, we need it
for our uniforms.
But they do.
Fuck them.
But they're delicious cookies.
It's a little wet.
No, it's a loose, loose.
Got my face.
But the cookies are great.
Every day, I wish I had girl scotchers.
Don't you want those cookies
that you go buy all the time
brought to you by little girls
to your door?
No.
No.
You know who I want
showing up at my door?
I don't want the mailman,
the UPS guy or the FedEx guy
to show up at my door
or guy bringing food.
Sure.
That's the only people.
What about like a publisher's
clearinghouse guy?
You won, you got a big...
No, fuck off.
I didn't enter that shit.
That's a fraud.
The wounds are already pouring.
You got 10 million reasons.
I got one reason.
It's my foot in your ass
getting out of my fucking face.
That was fighting wards.
Dude growing into a fucking
courage the cowardly dogs
like Grandpa, you know?
Whatever his name was.
Yeah.
God, I like to be left alone.
Thank you.
Who is Matt Stocking
on the Matt Watch this week?
Today, I'm Stocking Lim
because today I'm Stocking Lim.
What the fuck is this going on?
I'm letting him know.
It was worse than that.
Put him on notice.
I'm putting on notice saying
thank you for getting me
the Revoltek Riding Figure
from MGS Rising.
You're very welcome.
And the Capcom Encyclopedia Book.
You're very welcome.
I hope you enjoyed them
as much as I did.
That's it?
Yes.
All right.
Well, up with a bang out with a whimper.
What's going on on the channel?
What's going on the channel is that we...
It's a disaster.
It's a disaster on the channel.
Lots of disaster.
Lots of funny stuff there.
More beyond.
The end of beyond.
Unfortunately.
Wait, fortunately.
Fortunately.
It's over.
Who knows?
Maybe that ending turned us around
and made us so loud.
It's possible.
Hey, it's possible.
Hey, whoa.
Hey, whoa.
That did not happen.
Turn the...
Oh.
No.
No.
Remember when we were happy
when it ended
and then it wasn't over
and then we were made
even unhappy or somehow?
Remember when we were walking out
and I was like,
enjoy that new game plus?
That was pretty funny.
Anything else on the channel?
You think that's it for now?
Yeah, I think it is.
Okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So beyond and disaster
and later next week
we'll tell you a thing
when we got a new thing, I guess.
Yeah.
Yeah, some shit's coming.
Enjoy life while it lasts.
That's darn it.
21.
Why are you...
What do you like this?
Well, I mean, it ends for everyone.
No, it doesn't.
Well, what about you?
I'm gonna go into a robot.
I'm gonna go into a robot too.
That yells at solicitors
and has a robot dog
that yells at people.
You're just holding up to hope
for fucking like Deus Ex World?
Yeah, sure.
Fuck it.
You think that's gonna happen
in your lifetime?
I bet better.
It's not going to.
It's going to.
Really?
And you realize that...
Not Deus Ex World.
You realize that conversion
into a cyber brain
means your actual consciousness stops.
Yeah, but it's better than nothing.
Sure.
But, like, it'll just be another you
that continues...
But it...
Hey, hey.
Right.
That other him won't know any better.
Work...
Baby steps.
Baby steps.
Okay.
But, like, if you could do that now...
No.
Okay.
No, wait till the last possible second.
Because that's what I'm saying.
It doesn't make sense.
It's like, no, I want to become a machine.
No, I'll replace everything else.
My brain will be good for a while.
My heart, though.
Ooh, that's gotta go.
That's going.
That'll just fuck up my robot body.
And what if an EMP goes off and you're a vegetable?
No, it's all plastic.
No.
That's dumb.
It's all plastic now.
It can't be cool.
It can't be cool without with plastic.
All the little kids that...
All the little, those Girl Scouts
are gonna throw EMPs into your...
God damn it, Dornad.
God damn it.
Future fucking Biker E...
Girl Scouts.
They're coming.
Whatever, later.
Bye.
Ready?
Continue.