Castle Super Beast - SBFC 022: What does the Doug button do?!
Episode Date: January 7, 2014We're back from MAGFest! And just in time to talk shop about Nintendo's weird secrets and censorship! Drakengard 3! Space Dandy! And more crazy mods! Gotta burn some muscle!Got a question for us? Send... it to: superbestfriendcast@gmail.com
Transcript
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This is as safe as it's gonna get. I won't say it's a safe area, but it's as safe an area as you will get in your life.
I refuse to call any room with you a judgment-free safe area.
Well see the thing is that I'll judge you, but not harshly. If you punched a lady, that's horrible. Get out, you monster. See, that's not so bad.
See, judgment-free.
And if you give normal opinions such as...
That's a pretty normal opinion.
I like this episode of Cowboy Bebop as opposed to that one.
Oh my god! Liam, you saw, I said four times that I didn't want to have the argument.
You're right, you're right, you're right.
You didn't want to talk this shit.
No, it's true.
The argument is just causing trouble.
A decade old.
Yeah, it's true.
And it doesn't matter anymore.
No.
It doesn't matter.
Now that Space Dandy's out.
Now that Space Dandy's out and it sucks.
Don't say these things.
That's not true, it doesn't suck.
Oh, you're pulling the wool over us.
Oh no, here's the deal. Space Dandy was...
Wait, shut up.
Welcome to the episode 21.
21 of the...
Newest podcast of 2014!
Wait, we made it.
We made it to the last one.
2012.
No, no, when...
2012.
Oh, is the 25th or whatever.
Yeah.
Yeah, we didn't hear you.
I'm a little jail-egg, I'm sorry.
Yeah, no, the last one was on the Christmas.
Okay, so Space Dandy doesn't suck,
but it's got a few problems.
One is that it has to live up to the fact
that it's made by Shinjiro Watanabe,
and it looks like cowboy bebop.
Is there any shampoo in there?
No.
Okay.
By the way, Pat's the only one who's seen it.
I'm the only one who's seen it.
We have not seen it and we are extremely bummed right now.
By this opinion.
The Funimation...
But it may be completely false.
The Funimation Dubs is rock solid,
so you could watch either or...
The Funimation Dubs are not rock solid by now.
This one's totally fine,
and kudos for getting it simultaneously out,
but it's just...
It was in America before Japan.
It's what I was trying to explain to you
without argument, Willie,
is that people have been saying for a long time
a large group of people that their favorite parts
of cowboy bebop are hijinks,
are stuff like Mushroom Samba,
or going to get the Betamax tape,
just goofy shenanigans.
Andy the cowboy.
And Space Dandy is that.
It's only that.
And it's that to the nth degree.
So you have ridiculous shenanigans
that constantly break the fourth wall,
and boobies, boobies, boobies.
That's the very first line of dialogue
said by Dandy,
is him talking to his adorable robot
about how you are an idiot if you're a breast man.
That is the first conversation.
Now that's just a straight out lie.
No, it's not.
Anyway, and wiring minds.
In addition, I also think it's wrong.
So you get 70% through your first episode
of all just goofy hijinks and like poking fun
at like space tropes.
Like the narrator constantly says space.
Space.
Like over and over and over.
Like is everything a space thing?
Yes, everything is a space thing.
That's good.
You gotta get back to space.
Space showers.
And then it hits your action,
and it is the kind of reckless animated abandon
that is on par with red line
in terms of look at it go.
Look at the money.
Look at the color palette.
Reminds me a lot of red line.
But also just the animation style
and just like, oh crap.
Look at all this.
So the first episode is really, it's like explosive.
It's explosive.
And you watched it dumped.
I think the biggest problem
is that everyone in the show is interesting
and likeable except for Dandy.
Because Dandy is kind of a moron.
Which you kind of need in your hijincy show.
Right.
But if you made Cowboy Bebop, isn't it good
that this is different?
It is.
Yeah.
Because I don't want another Cowboy Bebop.
Well, what I was gonna say is like,
I know that that's the definite direct comparison.
But like, have you seen any of Outlaw Star?
I have not.
I've seen Outlaw Star.
So I was gonna say like, how does it compare to that?
I don't know.
I'll lend you the VHS's.
No.
Because I watched Outlaw Star.
Now people are gonna get on my case
to start watching shit like Tenchi Muyo.
Yeah.
Outlaw Star isn't Tenchi Muyo.
No, no, no.
But Outlaw Star, the reason I bring it up
is because that is like the serious shit
plus the hijinx spread evenly across every episode.
I had the biggest crush on that girl in Outlaw Star.
Which one?
Of course.
The cat girl?
No, not the cat girl.
The girl with the black hair that he rescues.
Oh, yeah.
She was pretty.
She always was that pretty.
Grappler arms.
Yeah, Grappler arms.
Grappler arms.
I really, like, space standing will probably still be great.
But it's just the expectations going against it
and just the general, I don't know,
it doesn't have the spark that you kind of explain.
You're gonna need to episode four it.
It's not the huge explosion
that something like Kill the Kill was from episode one.
From the first minute where the scale is stabbing.
It's not the gaijin for coma of Gurren Lagann.
Of episode one going,
Oh, shit!
You have to keep it to Watanabe,
Jinn and Mugen fucking fighting.
And you're like, yeah, I'm on this train.
So imagine the author of Berserk writes a new manga
and it's called Angry Man, right?
And it's this madcap wacky venture.
Sure, I guess that.
It's all Ray Ports.
Oh, man.
No, the series is Ray Ports.
Yeah.
The ongoing adventures.
I always want some of the anime.
Remember when Guts killed the Ray Ports?
Nope, he survived.
Magical adventures.
No, every episode of Ray Ports
ends with someone going,
Oh, Ray Ports.
Woo!
Credits.
Um, no, but Liam, like,
do you think maybe we just need to wait
till Space Dandy has a shonen power-up moment?
I think just give it a few episodes
until something cool happens.
Wait for the right moment to show up.
Oh, yeah, exactly.
Plenty of cool stuff happens
and there's an anti-shonen power-up moment.
That's sick.
Power's down.
Interesting, okay.
That's good.
Yeah, like, it's usually we're talking,
because Liam and I were talking about this the other day.
We're like, you were saying how someone was telling you
to watch Rona Kenshin
and you weren't particularly into it.
And someone told you to wait until X,
moment in time.
And I haven't really watched it.
I saw the movie.
But there's other series.
Other series like this.
And he gave it a shonen.
And I said,
oh, that must have been the bit where he powers off.
Yeah.
And sure enough, it always is.
Hey, right?
The goofball main character
sees something from his past
and he suddenly gets serious.
He turns into Super Saiyan.
And they're like,
oh, fine.
Well, you said Ken-chan,
at that point,
would you remember that arc where Semenosuke
just punched dogs
for like seven episodes?
Right.
We don't talk about that arc.
Oh, we don't.
I just remember the moment that
I went from,
was when the characters in the show
are discussing how the narrator
phoned it in
in the intro.
Okay.
And how we can't keep talking about butts
because then the viewers will get bored.
Yeah.
That sounds very samurai pizza-
So instead,
then they go to the restaurant
which has butts.
Right.
And I'm just like,
I don't know.
Have you ever seen Gun X sword by any chance?
Only ads for it,
but no, I haven't seen it.
Okay.
Because that's a perfect example
of like,
just wait till he gets pissed off.
And then he gets pissed off.
And then it gets good, right?
And then it gets good, right?
Yeah.
No.
And it's not special at all.
And it's like everything else.
Oh, man.
Matt,
you and I
are pretty jet lagged.
Not only do we do some stuff
this last couple of days,
we literally did everything.
Everything that can be done
in a matter of a couple of days,
it was done.
Now what's your escape from LA?
Escape from Maryland.
It was in LA, right?
Escape from Maryland.
Maryland.
Escape from beautiful Baltimore,
Maryland.
How are things down in the pit?
National Harbor.
Actually,
National Harbor was like a picturesque
little uppers class.
Yeah.
It was clean.
It was cobblestone.
That's not Baltimore.
Did you wear your Sunday best
and go out?
We did wear it,
but was it,
you can't wear your Reployed shirt.
I'm wearing my Mega Man shirt.
No, because I said I was going to wear it
and then he goes and buys that
and then he's like,
I'm going to wear it.
And I'm like,
but I said,
guys,
you have a moment.
You are down at Magfest.
You are presenting yourselves
as a public commodity.
Yeah.
You cannot be assholes
walking around
wearing the same shirt.
Right?
It's not the same.
It's slightly different.
You know,
they have to be different shirts entirely.
I complimented my shirts.
So that was nice.
But Brandon said
it would have been nice
if you both wore the shirts.
Oh.
I think Matt wore it best.
Yeah.
I think Matt pulled it off
a little bit better.
But no.
So how was Magfest?
Magfest was what it said it was,
music and games.
I wish we had seen some music,
but there was no time.
There was literally no time
to go see music.
For once,
there was actually no time.
Magfest was pretty damn fun.
You know what?
I'm going to one that up.
It was the best.
If someone says
are you going to go to E3,
or are you going to go to Magfest,
I'll go to Magfest.
Yeah.
No.
And honestly,
we're going to E3 though.
No.
I got back,
because I got back
and I was basically like,
you know,
to tell my friends and stuff
how it went and everything.
And I was kind of just like,
you know,
if you can only really afford
like a trip a year or something like that,
I'm like,
well, shit,
there's Evo and there's Magfest.
And now that's a competitor, man.
You serious?
Magfest is really cool.
We had a really good time down there,
running into like people
seeing the experiences.
You ran into everything.
Sight show sounds,
lights,
the colors,
oh my God.
Primal range.
Shack food.
This is capital city.
Capital city.
Hey,
yeah,
I bought Bible black.
Just throw it out there.
I needed to buy Bible black
for a bit.
Please tell me you bought it on VHS.
I wanted to.
Oh, that would have been so much better.
I wanted to.
It was there,
then we didn't buy it,
but then we came back the next day
and we just found DVD copies.
It was done.
It was either gone
or that creep,
that creeplet behind the table
was just like,
I'm gonna keep her from the side.
I'm gonna keep her.
Whatever.
Save it for the bit.
Save it for the bit.
Save it for the bit.
Actually,
before even Magfest,
I had some observations I noticed about TV down there
and things like that.
A bit.
Down in America.
Just random things.
Down in real America.
Down in real America.
Not real America.
Not fake America,
known as Canada.
Yeah,
in the real America.
I don't know.
It's just,
I saw there was like,
every time a movie trailer was on TV,
it was like shifted to the bottom of the screen.
Yeah.
So that the top of the screen
could have a logo for the movie
and the date it was playing.
And I found it incredibly annoying.
I've seen that before.
I don't know where.
It's so minor,
but I was like,
this is,
I know,
just relax.
As in the States are just weird.
It's not just that.
At the same time,
what if you look away
and you don't know what this was?
Yeah, exactly.
What if you laugh at a joke
and then change the channel?
Everything,
everything is run by a thousand eyes
before it gets on anything.
Relax.
Relax.
Jumping ahead,
but still stay on the same thing.
We and I went to like
an internet personality mixer
where we met like the AVGN,
angry Joe and everything.
But the main hot topic of the night
was,
yo,
Canada Kit Kat
tastes different
than American Kit Kat.
What?
There's going to be a taste
off later tonight.
There's a tournament.
How was it?
We didn't go.
We were able to go.
Fuck.
Did you buy a Kit Kat?
No,
but the dude brought examples
and was going to provide them
to show off
how different it was.
Packaging for Kit Kat
is completely different.
Damn.
Packaging,
like it's the same product,
but like,
why was corn pops?
This changes everything.
And of course,
when we went to the CVS,
you just lost your mind
going through the cereal.
Peanut butter everything.
Yeah.
Peanut butter,
toast,
crunch,
the cereal.
Every time you go to the states,
you freak out at the candy selection.
I can't believe it.
It's so different.
Americans like candy in front of us.
And don't even get me started.
Don't even get me started on England.
Fucking candy mecca.
It's bananas.
Random moments of things,
like one thing that just occurred,
I'm like,
I need to document this for,
I don't know what.
Like,
there's sometimes,
there's things that happen
where you over here,
parts of a conversation
and you can't,
for the life of you,
peace together.
Yeah.
What was going on?
I remember when you were there.
Right?
Lewis Black does a great bit about this
because he's like,
you hear some woman in a coffee shop go,
if it wasn't for that horse,
I would have never gone back to university.
And he's like,
what could that,
you know,
you start thinking.
Totally.
So I'm going down by the elevator
to go outside
and like,
and I see this couple
and they're in a really like,
heated emotional moment.
And the girl's crying.
And she's really sad.
So they're in love.
Yeah.
They're fighting outside of like,
whatever,
one of the rooms.
And like,
the girl just leans in
and grabs and is like,
hugging and crying.
And he goes,
yeah,
and look,
I'm sorry, babe.
It's just that
Gurren Lagen is a really important
part of my life.
So when I saw that,
it was just,
I knew it would get to me,
you know?
And she's just like,
oh,
I'm crying.
And I just get in the elevator
and just,
my brain is racing
to process.
What?
And I'm like,
hey,
I'm like,
I don't believe you.
Yeah,
yeah, yeah.
But,
there's no punchline.
There's nothing.
He mortgaged their house
to buy the DVD set.
No,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
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no,
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not no,
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no,
I used to watch a show. You know what I mean? You guys used to be really good at it.
And then I saw you and then I said,
don't watch it anymore. It's terrible.
Right? And then he's like, well, yeah. You know?
Like, you guys used to be good. But like then you kind of,
no, look, I'm not trying to insult you or anything,
but you know, you're just kind of like...
And I'm like,
It wasn't good anymore.
And I'm like,
And I'm like,
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, and he goes,
No, though, I'm serious.
No, but for real, yeah.
And I was like, dude,
we were just doing the self deprecating thing the whole time.
And I'm like, this guy's being real.
No, for real, though.
Like I used to like it, but your ass.
I'm sorry to tell you.
Like, dude.
I don't want to insult you though.
Not to insult. No, no, no, no.
He's trying to hug it like take a picture.
Like, oh yeah, no, it's cool.
We're just garbage now. Thanks.
Yeah. Amazing.
But then...
Once Matt stopped being a character on the show
about a big dummy, then it became bad.
There you go.
Matt has to play a retarded person
in order for the people to like us.
I kind of got it.
I kind of got it.
Matt, go back to eating paints.
Yeah.
Squirt ID stopped.
Catch up on your stomach.
It's hard to do that and sign checks.
It's hard to balance those two.
It's hard to do that for like four hours in a row.
Yeah.
Honestly, we just had a blast there in general.
There's so much to go into.
It'll pop up in the panel.
I hear you guys fill in the panel.
Well, that's what I was going to say.
Well, let's just hit the three things.
Three people.
One, we did the signing and that was nuts.
I can't believe how many people came.
And the dude was like, yeah, we have to cut some off.
I was like, what?
Holy shit.
It felt really bad telling fans like, we can't sign for a picture.
We don't have time for a picture.
We can sign anything.
Or take a picture, but we can't sign anything.
Yeah.
The guy's like, he's like, you don't have time to do both.
We're like, oh my God, really?
People actually care.
More moral choices than beyond.
Yeah.
And then, well, the smart people just like stuck around until we were walking.
Yeah.
We were like, all right, now we don't care.
Now we can find our hotel.
Yeah.
Well, party over here.
Party over here.
But that was great.
And then, of course, I'm signing like awesome.
How many copies of David Cage games?
Like four.
I kept saying, I'm not, no.
Like David Cage games, Marvel, Skullgirls, or Revenge.
You know what you should have done, right?
For the David Cage games, you should have opened them up and then flipped the disks around
and signed them on the data side.
That's a good one.
That would have been good.
Yeah.
But basically, Platinum games are a quantum dream.
Nice.
I'm glad that people understand the top streams.
Yeah.
A couple of Atticky Reigns and a couple of that got this game just because you guys.
Oh, nice.
Yeah.
And he said, you guys marketed this game.
I'm like, well, Sega didn't, so.
Wow.
It's true.
That's his name.
Yeah.
Did the panel.
I think that was pretty good.
Can't wait for it to go up, honestly.
I had to go a day early because of his work.
And I met someone, the elevator that like later that day.
And he was just like, yeah, I went to your panel.
And I turn around.
I'm like, oh, yeah.
How did you think we did since it was the first panel we've ever did?
He's like, is the best panel I've ever been to.
Wow.
Yeah.
Really?
Plus, remember.
By the way, that guy's only been to your panel.
Yeah.
But someone.
What's a panel?
Someone.
What's a panel?
Did that child just say, what's a panel?
No.
Is it where your asshole falls out of your body?
Because that's the best one I've ever been to.
But on the Magfest docket, there was a panel I was interested to go to.
It's all about FMV Full Motion Video Games.
Oh, damn.
And I was like, that sounds pretty funny.
And then I talked to these guys later.
I bumped into them.
They're like, yeah, yeah, Matt, you're awesome.
And then they go, we went to that Full Motion Video Game.
And I was like, oh, I wanted to go there.
And they're like, you just dodged the biggest bullet ever.
I'm like, why?
So this guy walks up at the podium and he's dressed as Mario.
And I'm like, good, good.
And he goes, and he takes out a bullet point list he wrote in Word.
Oh, yeah.
And I'm like, yeah.
And then he proceeded to show no footage of any game.
Oh, no.
He just went through a list of his stuff.
That's the worst type of panel.
That's why I like FMV games.
And I'm like, how did he get a panel?
I don't know.
It's not hard.
We barely got our panel going.
What was awesome was we went to a panel called Top 10 Reasons Why Captain N Was a Literary
was a Visual Masterpiece.
And while we're watching it, he actually made some pretty good points.
He made some good points.
And it was unlike the shit panel he was just talking about.
Like, this was actually, you know, it was fun.
Just really quickly, it's just like Kevin, Captain N, is not perfect.
He said, I have to play this game a million times.
I have to play Mega Man a million times to get good.
Fifty-two times.
This shows kids that you have to work at it.
And he's not a pro.
And he has other interests outside video games.
He did track.
He did swimming.
He wasn't great at them, but he gravitated towards video games.
Oh, he's one of those kids.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then also Princess Lila.
Oh, Lana.
Lana was really, like, she stood out at the time compared to other princess type characters
in She-Ra.
She actually did things and whatever.
It was really cool.
But there was a moment where, like, the dude starts showing individual characters.
And he shows Simon Belmont.
Yeah.
And then he shows a picture of Simon Belmont.
And everyone goes nuts.
And they're like, yeah, Simon Belmont's the best version of any Castlevania game.
And then he plays a video and it's just a highlight reel of funny, stupid, dumb Simon moments.
Just being a douchebag.
Just being a douchebag.
And then there's a particular part where, like, I forgot what the question was.
Like, he says something and then walks away and the video censors it and calls the motherfuckers.
Because there's a bleep.
Like, he was like, Kevin, I'm gonna bleep, bleep, bleep.
And the crowd laughs.
It was hilarious.
And then, yeah, the clip ends and then Matt, like, puts his hand up and he goes to take
the question.
He goes, hey, Matt's like, oh, yeah, hey, by the way, where'd you get that video?
By the way, where'd that come from?
And the guy goes, oh, I just got it off YouTube because there's not a lot of captain and stuff.
So I just grabbed it off YouTube.
And Matt's like, oh, that's cool because I made that.
And the guy goes, are you kidding me?
What?
And I'm like, no, like, did you get that from the switcher?
And he goes, yeah, I did.
And I'm like, yeah.
And everyone starts, like, laughing and just nodding.
And I'm like, I just thought it was, I just got a kick out of all the gow that you see
in my old shit.
Yo, your reputation precedes you.
And the dude's like, yo, come up on stage.
Come up on stage.
And you're like, no, no, no, we're just kidding.
I couldn't.
I couldn't possibly.
You know.
But yeah, it was just a random thing.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Again, people see our panel.
There's not much to say about it, but it went pretty good when we get.
Because I want to see it.
Yeah.
Because I wasn't there when we get it nice and edited and ready to go.
Take out all the sex parts.
Well, no, you mean put them on the premium channel.
Put those on the premium channel.
895, you know what I'm saying.
But it was what was cool afterwards.
We went out to eat and like we were at this place just unwinding after talking to the
fans for about an hour afterwards and stuff.
And some dude just comes over and say, hey, can I buy you guys drinks?
And we're like, oh, dude, awesome.
Yeah, cool.
And he's like, yeah, I know.
I just really, you know, liked your stuff.
Yeah.
Like right on.
You know, he's like, OK, cool.
And he's like, yeah, he goes to find the waiter and then he comes back and is like,
OK, so I don't really know how to do this.
And I couldn't figure out how to do that.
So I just covered your whole dinner tab.
But we had already ordered and it was going to be like around $100.
Yeah, it was a pricey thing, you know.
And he's like, yeah, I know me and my friends just wanted to.
And he's like, well, what's your name?
It's like his name's Ken.
Super shout outs to Ken.
I was awesome, man.
Thank you for dinner.
Thank you very much.
Very nice.
We appreciated that.
I asked him, do you listen to our podcast?
And he's like, yeah, I do.
I'm like, well, we gotta give him a shout out, man.
So yeah, good on you, dude.
If you send us $100, we will say your name in the podcast.
We won't even spend it on food.
Hey, every girl that wants us to give a shout out
to her boyfriend on their birthday, send us $100.
Shilling intensifies.
Shilling harder internally.
Hey, you guys were out doing panels, doing community outreach.
I'm just sitting around thinking of new ways to shell.
Someone's gotta.
It's harder than it sounds.
Oh, we showed ourselves because 90% of what you did at Magfest
was street pass with people.
Oh, fuck yeah.
So both me and Willie's me's are just like,
do me a piece panel in o'clock Saturday.
Go check it out.
Yeah.
That's cool.
We street passed with Smooth McGrew.
We must have gotten at least 200 people.
Yeah.
Of course.
I filled in America.
I'm almost done.
Nice.
Yeah.
I'm like Hawaii before.
No, Hawaii's not a real place.
We annoyed your girlfriend by just stopping every little while.
No, no.
We got it cleared up.
You got it cleared up.
Priority one.
Priority one.
Last call I went to, I just sat there.
I just did it.
You didn't go to the con?
No.
I sat there and people would walk by to fill it up.
He sat outside the building but close enough to the wall
that the signal would go through.
This is it.
Rubbing my 3DS against the wall.
Get vigorously.
This will be good enough.
Should we even go to these two or should we just play tennis all day?
I'm joking, mad guys.
How was your weekend?
It was good.
Didn't do a whole lot.
I received some games from Glorious Japan and they're fucking great.
Did you see the one we talked about that we can't actually talk about
because we want to do a video about it?
Oh, no.
Damn hard.
I'm going to download that one.
Okay, sure.
That goes great for the podcast listeners.
They love hearing about it.
They love hearing about it.
There's secrets.
Everyone loves secrets.
Madoka Magica game on Vita.
Pat didn't tell me to shut up so this is a good day.
Pat's a little tired.
It's kind of what you expect from an anime beat em up
but it's really good as far as telling the story
and telling alternate universe stories because it's written by the same guys.
Who's it made by?
It's made by...
Don't say Spike Chun.
No, the guys who make the Dragon Ball Z games.
Dims?
Art Dink.
Okay.
Art Dink.
I forgot who makes them anymore.
He's super solid.
It's alright, little brawler.
You're not the Madoka spokesman.
You got gifts from fans from Madoka.
Yeah.
And cosplayers dropping business cards of Madoka cosplay.
Yeah.
Shoutouts to Scytheria.
Sorry if I mispronounced that.
For this sick little Mickey key chain from Madoka.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
But I also received Draken Guard 3.
I can't believe you actually got that after we had the whole discussion
about how you shouldn't play it.
I ordered that the minute it was announced in Japan
before it was like announced for localization.
The wheels were in motion.
No, you can't cancel from this one.
It was an ATV situation.
Yeah, exactly.
It was like all the bravest.
Just like second one before I have a chance to confirm what this game is coming out here.
And you can only play it the first time once.
But I ordered it the first minute.
I couldn't have known.
I was an idiot.
You could know that you don't speak the language.
I was too young at the time.
I played through the first like sixth of the game.
Okay.
Boy, is it better than the first two Draken Guards this first game.
And you have no idea what's going on now.
No, I do.
I do.
But I'm going to lose that thread.
Sure.
It's really fucking good.
I really like it.
And I asked you earlier, is it good because it's a good game
or is it good because it's a good sequel?
Yeah.
The gameplay.
And you know what I mean by that.
Yeah, absolutely.
The gameplay by itself is definitely better than the first two Draken Guards
would be great.
Those were messy.
Yeah.
But the combat's better than near two, which is like all right.
So it's actually like an improvement.
It's a lot more linear.
You used to be, you know, big open battles like Dynasty Warriors,
but now it's like linear hallway battles, but it's still fun.
And there's a lot of talking as you'd expect from these games.
You're battling through and they're constantly talking the whole way through.
That sounds like Dynasty Warriors.
It's very, it's very cool.
A little bit like Dynasty Warriors.
Really, really good game though.
And only other thing I didn't really was play Bravely Default the demo for that.
Oh, we wanted to download that.
Well, you did another thing, but that's a horrible mystery that me can't talk about.
That was a huge mystery.
Okay.
The horrible mystery.
Bravely Default.
That had to do with Bravely Default.
Awesome.
No, the thing.
Okay.
It is so fun.
That plays well for the internet.
It does.
See?
It reminded me before you were talking about secrets that we can't talk about
because it's too soon.
We're talking about secrets.
Well, me and Liam have a secret that we can't talk about because it's too soon.
We're getting married.
Like girls.
Yeah.
Surprised.
Bravely Default is like the final fantasy that like should have been.
Yeah.
That's what we talked about.
Every review says that.
Liam.
But you go to the items and there's fucking Echo Herbs.
Echo Herbs.
And Phoenix Downs.
Echo Herbs.
Cure Silence.
Yeah.
Bravely Default.
Straight up called Phoenix Downs.
Yes.
Like it is just Final Fantasy.
It's fantastic.
It's really, really good.
Yeah.
It's really, really good.
It has so many little things to the JRPG.
Like I want to say classic FF formula of Random Battles.
But it does, yeah.
That have been streamlined to make it so much faster.
So you remember the old job system where you get job points.
FF5, yeah.
And that gives you FF5MT.
All those are all the same, right?
So on this one it's that.
And sometimes you need a lot of job points.
But what you can do is you can do everyone's turn and then set it to auto.
And the auto attack in this is not just everyone attacks.
It's everyone repeats their last turn.
So if you go into a dungeon and figure out the sequence that beats every encounter.
You cast it at the end of the game.
You set it to that.
Yeah.
Then you hit right on the d-pad twice to make the combat animations go four times as fast.
Then you go into options, difficulty.
Options, config, difficulty and set encounter rate to 200%.
And then run in a circle and the game will level for you.
Yeah.
That sounds like that sounds like what the Gambit system was trying to be.
Absolutely.
That's exactly what it sounds like.
It makes me so glad we got for the sequel and not the original.
Totally.
Because like watching gameplay of the original, it is so slow.
And then.
Oh man.
When you're done with that, you go in and change encounter rate to zero.
So you can run back to town unmolested.
Or just go straight to the boss.
Yeah.
Right.
It's just super great.
The game, the RPG has save points, but then it auto saves when you go to the world map.
It's doing the most glorious thing the game should do which is not waste your time.
Okay.
In the best ways.
Two questions.
Do enemies level with you?
No.
Do bosses level with you?
No.
So setting the encounter rate higher or low.
Only.
You cause hubs or hurts yourself.
You fiddle with it.
You turn it to normal when you're exploring an area for the first time.
Yeah.
You turn it all the way up when you want that new skill.
And you turn it all the way down when you're just researching for treasure chest.
I respect that.
Because it's like you're going to be playing.
Yeah.
No.
You're like, I want to grind right now.
Put it in grind mode.
And if you just want that normal experience, you really want a vanilla.
You just keep it on normal at 100%.
You never change it.
And what I did is I went through what I would call the old school Final Fantasy difficulty level spike.
Which is, I'm kicking the shit out of this dungeon.
This dungeon is nothing.
Like you're killing every group in one turn with no MP loss.
Yeah.
And then you hit the boss and the boss kills you in two turns.
Yeah.
And you go, ah shit.
So then you do all that crap and level up and then you're back and you're good and you're done.
That's exactly what stopped me from finishing 12.
I think I've said that before.
Totally.
Absolutely.
I'm beasted and I get to like this one fucking enemy at the end of this cave and just kill them.
If you have 12 international, you could hold L1 and the game would go into turbo.
I don't live in international land.
I know.
But that's what I mean.
It's like they-
They just did it.
The dudes making these games have known for a while in a game that has a system like this that can automate itself.
You should have a button that makes it go faster.
Didn't that also throw in the job system?
Yes, it fixed the job system.
That version never came out here.
Whose Bravely Default is this made by like just a random team?
It's made by Silicon Studios who made-
Is that being made by Square Enix?
No.
And they made 3D Dot Game Heroes previously.
They made 3D Dot Game Heroes and then went up and made Bravely Default.
That's nuts.
Did they get anything in between?
No, they did.
I just- I can't remember.
Those are the significant ones.
I can't remember the middle one.
That's a hell of a jump.
Yeah, and now these guys, they put out two Bravely Defaults in Japan and they're getting onto the second one right now.
Also, Liam, you should-
You didn't mention it, but I will.
Liam and I have been playing these demos for hours.
The demo content is totally unique.
It's not in the full game.
And it's-
Ooh.
I've been playing it for like 4 hours now and I haven't unlocked everything in it.
As you beat the demo, you unlock bonuses for the regular game.
I hit 100% around 5 or so hours.
Okay.
And I've just been kind of street passing to get my 20 villagers that I could transfer to the third game.
And I have like 5 or 6 right now.
Because in a world of don't spend assets where the player won't see them.
Oh, no, no.
It's all reused assets for sure.
It's reused assets.
But it's all unique content.
Like they dump you into one of the towns and all the quests are like, go kill 10 monsters.
But they give you 8 jobs to fuck with.
It's kind of like the RE Revelations demo was a complete, unique sequence of rooms that when you played the full game wasn't like-
It was in a different order.
But it's really cool because it's different.
It's awesome.
When does it come out in mid-month?
February 7th or 11th or something?
No, 11th is Tuesday so it's 9th.
It makes sense that Nintendo Direct was pimping it so hard then.
Because it's fucking great.
It seems so.
Unless the game just shits itself halfway through.
Well, did you read the European and Japanese news?
No.
They're trends.
The European ones are intense.
Like Ni no Kuni is awesome.
And then halfway through I was like, I don't want to play this anymore.
Like they added one gameplay system too many in Ni no Kuni.
And it was like, no, I'm done.
I'm done.
But the magic slips away.
Shut up.
Shut up.
No, it totally slips away because first it's a classic JRPG, then it's a classic JRPG that's weirdly a lot like Pokemon.
And then that becomes really complicated and you have to grind a lot and you're like, no, I'm done.
The magic's gone.
There's too much time in between the magic when you get halfway through Ni no Kuni.
Well, you mentioned the demo thing, right?
It's weird that they make a demo that's unique like this and waste assets, resources on that and stuff, like that kind of thing.
Bravely Default actually has a really interesting history with that.
There were four demos for it in Japan.
And they got better as people gave their input on each demo and they tweaked content.
So it was public focus testing.
It was public focus testing.
That's how the 3D.gameheroes guys got in there.
Exactly.
And so Bravely Default is pretty good.
GodEater2 and Tokiden have done this and all of them have shown huge improvements from demo to full game.
When we're talking about the whole K-Zero, put it out, see what people saw.
Yeah, yeah.
Time to fix your game.
K-Zero is somewhat unique in that free.
And K-Zero was unique assets and it was way better than the game.
Well, what it means is like K-Zero is an example of we were saying it with RE6.
Yeah.
We're going to put out that demo months beforehand.
There's a place for that.
Yeah.
Anything with UPET?
Or did you just play Bravely Default as well?
Well, it was only four hours.
So I imagine you watched a full TV show.
I'm most of the way through 30 Rock now.
Yeah!
How does this happen?
Which is the best use of Brian Williams I've ever seen.
Now, hold on.
I got to check in because you're not done yet.
But have I let you down yet?
No, you haven't.
The combo continues.
I feel like I went through this in the wrong order.
30 Rock should have been before...
Going like trailer park boys, then Parks and Recreation, then 30 Rock.
It's a total downward slope with everything I've been watching.
Yeah.
But pretty good.
Well, I told you Parks and Recreation.
No, they're all great because I went in the wrong direction.
You did go in the wrong direction.
Oh yeah, Aubrey Plaza is so hot in that.
She looks so upset.
Are you still stalking her?
No, just in my head.
Did you see the zest?
That's worth so yes.
Yes, you are.
Also, yo, I forgot to mention this in Portlandia.
Portlandia spoils the end of the wire in season three.
What?
It's a sketch about spoilers and then they just blurt out when blank got blanked by that
blank in the convenience store.
Wasn't that the saddest thing?
I'm glad you said that because I was about to go into it.
They just blurted it out right in the middle of Portlandia.
I'm like, oh my God, I can't believe you just did that.
You need to tell Matt exactly what skit that's in.
I don't remember.
But it's in the third season.
It's they start talking about spoilers.
We'll just fucking catch up then, Matt.
Making videos.
And aside from that, you guys were at the panel that I didn't realize you were going to have
and I was upset so I just spent all my time playing.
Me and Pat hung out and pretended like we were doing a panel.
There you go.
Did you talk to the stuffed animals and pillows?
I didn't know there was going to be a panel.
I brought my pillows over and we talked to each other.
No, you didn't.
Did you cuddle them while like sitting in your hunting robe?
No, Pat took them all for me.
He was cuddling them.
But yes, hunting robe.
You saw that picture?
Fucking shout out to, sorry, I forget it now.
Art of El.
Yes.
She's awesome.
Awesome piece of fan art.
It's a piece of fan art with Liam like hunting this giant monster fuck.
And then he's staring at the monster buck on his wall.
Is that the same person who did the viceroy and regent stuff?
Yeah.
And the reason they made it is because they felt bad that Liam's a princess.
But you shouldn't.
Yeah, I know.
And then the princess buck hunter.
He's just staring at it like, perfect.
It's great.
I love it.
It's pretty good.
Yeah, man.
No, it was all in all a pretty cool weekend.
I just wanted to quickly drop as well as far as games being played since you guys said
that.
Besides playing a decent amount of K.I. at the tournament.
Did you win that tournament?
No.
We even came to the tournament?
There was no time.
Dude, it's like a six hour block.
Okay, because when you say you played K.I. at the tournament.
Sorry, at the tournament area.
Okay.
In the tournament area.
Because there was set ups and shit.
So you didn't win?
Yeah.
In fact, you lost.
You lost.
No, it was just played a lot of that.
But I've been recently playing a bunch of Rogue Legacy.
Dude, that game's awesome.
It's really addictive.
It's super good.
It's really addictive.
And it has some of the coolest, funnest references.
When did you open your Steam account again?
And aren't you glad you did?
You said you visited yesterday asking me for my Steam name.
Yeah, what's your name?
Tell me what it is.
I'm not going to say it on the podcast.
No, Steam now.
Wait, what is it?
I don't know it either.
Exactly.
Tell us your picture.
It's got too much crossover with my email address.
Really?
No.
But I mean, there's shit on good old games as well.
Yeah.
Yeah, no.
It's fun.
Good stuff.
Really liking that.
And if you haven't checked it out, check it out.
Especially if you like Rogue Legacy.
Can you believe that Rogue Legacy was made by the team?
And the last game they made before Rogue Legacy was the adventure game Don't Shit Your Pants.
Nice.
Right.
Like, Don't Shit Your Pants was great.
Like, you never would have thought that it was Rogue Legacy great.
Just speaking of Steam real quick, we're the 7th today, right?
Yeah.
Revengeance comes out in two days.
In two days.
I'm super excited for that.
Revengeance is coming.
I wish I had played it.
And we can segue right into news with that because we're excited, but the Irish and the
Japanese sure aren't.
Oh, no, they are not.
Because Konami has fucking blocked it from those regions.
I'm really happy to hear that, like, JP's like, we're looking into this.
Well, he doesn't have any power in Konami's decision yet.
But the fact that he said we're looking into it, why the fuck would they block it from Ireland?
Everywhere else in Europe, it's on sale, but not Ireland.
Maybe it's one of those Ninja Turtles references where people in Ireland or in England are
actually taking high-frequency blades and killing each other.
We gotta get the references out.
Or everyone's fighting cats.
Yeah.
No nunchucks, you know.
No.
What JP meant to say was Kamiya was angrily firing tweets out like at everybody, and
that's going to fix the situation.
But he did say I'm going to look into it.
Of course.
And that's nice to hear, at least.
Sure, man.
I really hope he gets to the bottom of that.
It's so weird how these things just happen.
It's bullshit.
Yeah.
If you're a person in Japan and have steam, you can't buy Metal Gear Rising Revengeance.
For some reason.
Like, there's a situation in which a dude lives in Osaka and can see Platinum's offices.
Yeah.
And yet cannot buy the game.
And if it looks out the other way, he sees Konami.
And it's because Konami doesn't want people in Japan buying it off steam because it's
cheaper.
They want them going to the store and getting the more expensive...
The inferiority.
Or the old version for more money.
It's price discrimination.
Well, actually, because they put out the special edition recently, it's actually the exact
same price.
You just get an inferior version.
It's so weird.
And the Steam Deal, the 20% off thing, that's still...
It was 30% off the first day of the sale.
But this day is done.
It's so fun.
And then now it's 20% off.
Yeah.
Yeah, whatever.
I got Revengeance on PC for $19.
Yeah, exactly.
Fucking region lockings bullshit.
Can't wait.
And why would you...
Like, region lockings bullshit on consoles, but you don't hit a button to torrent the
problem away on consoles.
Yeah.
When you region lock something on PC, like, you really are literally asking for your game
to get pirated.
Yeah.
Which is a shame because it's not Platinum's fault, it's Konami's.
Yeah.
I just can't wait for the modders to rip it open.
Oh my god.
Well, first they're going to...
First they're going to pirate it.
To pirate it.
Yeah.
And then they're going to rip it open.
And then they're going to put it above 1080p.
Look, this is why we shouldn't support this platform.
Look at this...
Exactly.
It's...
Look.
It's the PC game cycle.
It's like damaging cycle.
No, Konami literally goes, look at this.
Look at this amazing Hatsune-y model that's been hacked into the game.
I'd play it.
Doing six Zandatsu combos.
Leak Zandatsus?
Yeah, I'd play it.
Leak Zandats...
Yeah, exactly.
Right, right, right.
Sure.
You see those dudes that ported the exclusive 360 content for Burnout Paradise onto the PC?
Yeah.
What?
It's awesome.
There was PS3 and 360 content called Big Surf Island that came out for Burnout Paradise.
It was a big island.
That never came out on PC.
It's a lot like the ending to Prince of Persia never came out on PC either.
These dudes somehow ripped it and got it into the PC version.
Well, to be fair, two snacks can rip Bayonetta.
I think anything's possible.
Yeah, I guess.
But that's just a model.
Putting gameplay into it.
Just costs two multiplayer.
Just costs two multiplayer.
It's the most busted shit that you should probably take a look at.
Can't wait for Revengeance multiplayer.
All three characters running around?
We live in a world where modders are reaching like right underneath the level of the actual
devs in terms of what they can do with the game.
Because they're all programmers.
Yeah.
At the end of the day.
But these guys have it harder because they have to reverse engineer the shit.
I recently saw footage of Ultra Street Fighter 4, which I was not aware, just steals stages
from SF Cross Tekken.
There's a filter gone.
That is a low level mod.
Development can sometimes be really hard and sometimes it can be really easy.
There's probably a fan made Ultra out available right now.
Totally.
You remember when someone said to Ono, look you can just put the characters in this game.
You can just drag and drop them.
Not literally.
And Ono said we'll look into this.
His response to that was if you do that right now and don't change them, they would be the
most broken shit ever.
Because the system difference between the two.
Yeah, no, it's 30, 60, 90.
Can't stop that.
Can't stop that damage.
Probably need to explain.
But one of the reasons why SF Cross Tekken is dog shit is because standardized damage.
Every character has the same damage on their lights, mediums and hearts because we don't
have the time.
There's no time.
Oh my god, I didn't even know that.
30, 60, 90.
Unless you're Hugo or King, then you do 40, 70, 100.
That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
Many, many reasons.
Lily hits for the same as Marduk.
Anyway.
As she should.
It's the opposite of Capcom's long running vagina tax.
And balancing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And balancing and taking the time to work things out.
I should probably explain the term vagina tax.
Probably.
No.
Well, the pitchforks are getting shined as we speak.
It's just all female characters in Capcom games always have less health.
Because you're weaker because you're a girl.
Except for Poison.
And now Makoto bucks that.
Well, a little Makoto represents, yeah, she was one of the first girls to get that.
I was in health.
Yeah.
Too bad.
Phew, that poison cosplayer and Makoto sure confused me.
That was a good bit.
I didn't know what to do.
That was a good bit.
That was great.
I was going to segue off of talking about modding.
Well, then let's go.
Into, hey.
Do the segue.
If you're planning to buy Titanfall PC, don't expect mods for that.
Really?
No shit.
Because they're like, we don't want anything.
You mean Infinity War, the same studio that said we're going to remove dedicated servers
from PC shooters?
No, this is respawned to different companies.
The same, oh right, the same guys who, if you did any kind of any hacks, you'd get banned
from the Infinity War game.
So, like, no shit.
The guys who invented the term, it's not balanced for lean.
They're building a walled garden in your PC right now.
That game's a console game.
Okay, I and I hacks I can understand, but it's like.
Why?
When you just make it, like, adjust the screen size and stuff.
Well, it's just like.
See, that goes back to the olden days of Counter-Strike and Day of Defeat, where people were deleting
foliage folders out of their.
Yeah, that was bullshit.
Out of their install directories.
So, like, there would be no bushes.
You don't see through shit.
Yeah, exactly.
But, and that's where the logic comes from.
But now we're getting into a weird place.
It's like, I want to mess with, I want to use sweet effects to change the color palette.
Banned.
Like, what?
And mods in a way are almost becoming like an invisible back-of-the-box bullet point.
Yes.
You know?
Well, they've always been that way.
They've been like that for ever.
And it's like, exactly.
It's an incentive that we officially are not going to acknowledge or support.
But here, you can still, you can still play as Black Spider-Man.
I was waiting for it.
I was waiting for it.
Let it go.
He said it.
What did he say?
Black Spider-Man.
Black Spider-Man.
Playable in all games.
Damn it.
He totally is.
He is, yeah.
Black Spider-Man and Grapple-Man, finally.
Do you mean Wilds Morales?
He knows!
No!
I know Black Spider-Man!
No!
Don't talk about this.
We keep bringing it up.
Do you mean it?
No, just Black Spider-Man.
No, Liam should be saying Black Suited Spider-Man, but he just says Black Spider-Man.
Which means so much nowadays.
You can't stop this movement.
It's kind of really confusing.
Yeah, no.
It was just kind of the thing where you're like, certain games, you look at it and you
go, alright, so I'm picking this up on PC and a big part of, you know, whatever I'm going
to get into, if I like throwing random shit into my games or making maps or models or
whatever, is enjoying the modding scene on that.
And like, I'm imagining what awesome Titanfall mods could exist.
Mecha's and all kinds of cool crazy shit.
Titanfall's so weird because I look at gameplay and it looks really, really exciting.
Everything that's not the game seems really gross.
The fact that the developers only found out about an exclusivity contract through the
media, that's weird.
This stuff is weird.
Their interview with Giant Bomb during E3 where they refused to talk about the word
Mecha and how the Titans in Titanfall are not Mecha.
Don't say that word.
Do not say that they're Mecha.
Which is ridiculous because the best stage in the game is the one with the cherry blossom.
Absolutely!
Right before that interview happened, some marketing guy said we don't want people thinking
this is anime bullshit.
So why'd you put giant pilotable robots in it?
Because of Pacific Rail.
I was about to say cut to fucking Guillermo del Toro in front of the Goya Gundam.
Just going, yes, I am home.
It's like all...
The destruction's got weird stuff all over it.
I think I told you about this, but when I was working in video game QA, we saw the box
art for Tenchu Shadow Assassins for the Wii in Japan.
It's this beautiful brush stroke Street Fighter 4 style art of the two main ninjas.
And then I got shown the fucking American box art which looked like PC Accelerator
card from 1990.
Is it just Angry Rikimaru?
It's Angry Rikimaru and there's blood splattered all over.
It's terrible.
I talked to the producer who was like, what the fuck?
He's like, anime does not sell.
Tell that.
But I'm like, it doesn't.
Well, tell that to Don of Sorrow.
But he's like...
But I'm like, that art barely looked like anime.
It looked like art.
You know what I mean?
And he's like, well, our test marketing says anime does not sell.
So we made this...
New what sells?
PC Accelerator cards from 1990.
You know what we have to keep coming back to?
And it's Angry Kirby.
Yes.
Did you see Kirby Triple Deluxe box art?
He's so big angry in Japan.
They finally did it.
It's gone too far.
It's gone too far.
So on Kirby box art...
Fire and water.
On Kirby box art in Japan, he's all happy looking.
And in America...
Which is achieved by just drawing normal Kirby.
Drawing normal Kirby.
And in America, they just put little slants on his eyes.
To make him angry.
To make him angry.
They just give him little angry eyebrows.
Or determined.
Yeah.
I think they did it with Kid Icarus Uprising as well.
Oh, did they?
Pretty sure.
Pit looks too happy.
And I heard today that Triple Deluxe is angry in both regions.
And possibly Europe.
The anger goes over oceans.
I will never stop getting mad over bad box art.
So I've taken the only way out.
Which is to buy PC games.
Which have no boxes.
There's really good box art.
But they also have the worst box art.
And with PlayStation 4, I'm going all digital too.
But then you go down to play the game.
And the icon that comes up is the box art.
It's shitty.
I want to be a fly on the wall in that meeting room.
Where they've got to decide how to make Kirby edgier.
And someone just pulls out a marker.
Every meeting.
Like the hackiest, dumbest marketers have to sit there and think about this.
He's a pink blob that makes baby noises.
I think literally some guy gets the Japanese box art at the Nintendo Treehouse.
And draws the angry eyebrows and no one fucking notices.
I'm so happy that fans noticed that though.
I made it a thing.
I love angry.
Because it shows you how granular they're insanity.
I remember when me and you were in EB games like six years ago.
We were in the fight.
I don't know how long this generation lasted.
It's weird.
And you picked up a copy of Rainbow Six Vegas.
And lost planet.
Yes.
And it was the same box art.
Oh yeah.
That is the logo of the game I'm holding.
Wow, that's so cool.
The German standing in the middle with the light.
Not facing with the gun.
The gun and the smoke.
It is identical.
And I think it was the collector's edition of Lost Planet.
It was absolutely ridiculous.
Lost Planet 1?
Yeah.
No, it was just the guy standing in the snow field.
Waiting far away.
But it was definitely the collector's one.
Oh man.
That was a bad one.
Did you see that Kirby Triple Deluxe just fucking sold out in Japan?
Good for Kirby.
Not out yet.
Yeah, well the pre-orders or something.
Maybe.
And it's just weird because...
On Amazon.
Yeah, Amazon.
That's what I'm thinking of.
Kirby Triple Deluxe was revealed what like five months ago.
Hey, it works.
Yeah, it works.
You get a Kirby game once on every platform.
Nintendo's 3DS marketing is so ridiculously on point for everything.
What about their Wii U marketing?
How's that?
What Wii U marketing?
You mean the Earthbound ad that they taped to a wall that one time?
That's the most confusing thing.
I know we're way out.
This has nothing to do with current events.
But the fact that the 3DS has been marketed like so perfectly despite being almost as
confusing as the Wii U with its name and then the Wii U, they just drop the ball on every
part of its marketing.
What the fuck?
I still think it's like a huge disconnect between Japan and the U.S.
Like Japan's like the handhelds.
Handhelds all the time.
Handhelds all the time.
So it's literally up to only Nintendo America who can't do it.
Are you curious to see what effect Nintendo Directs have had?
I think great effects.
Because for people like NeoGaff, it's like, okay, we're all new sounds.
Preaching to the choir.
You know what I mean?
But what about the people they're trying to reach on the outside?
I believe that the Nintendo plan on that is that Nintendo, I forget if they said this
publicly or if it got out in some memo, but Nintendo has their quote unquote brand ambassadors,
which are the crazy fanboys.
Now the Nintendo Directs are not for the general public.
They're clearly for newshounds and brand ambassadors.
Who post it on everywhere.
And that's why a Nintendo Direct happens in such a manner.
You go, hey, what's new on NeoGaff?
There's going to be a Nintendo Direct in four hours.
Oh shit.
There's no setup.
There's no setup.
It's just, it's going to happen.
And then people go, oh, what is it?
And everyone looks at it and then those people disseminate that information.
You remember?
You'll tell your cousin or whatever, yo, you like Kirby, there's a new Kirby game coming
out.
That seems like it would work really well, but they have to do it way more frequently
and have way more, not cranky con.
They need more stuff.
They need the trend centers basically.
No, cranky con was VGX and so it was perfect.
They should do the Smash Bros. Dojo in Nintendo Direct form.
Oh no, there should always be a Smash section in every Nintendo Direct.
More shiggy with vacuums while you're out in the background.
I don't remember what they said.
More shiggy, random employee kidnappings.
But there was a point where they said the views were just really high.
And they said like on Nintendo consoles, they were even strangely high.
I have shit on Nintendo Directs on this podcast in the past.
Usually because they don't give me the exact thing that I want.
That being said, I really appreciate the form.
That's you in life.
Yeah, that's pretty much it.
I really appreciate the format of this is the thing that we have.
Here it is.
We've announced it.
It'll be out in six months probably.
Dude, Hyrule Warriors 2014, like that's bonkers.
I like the less lead up to anything, the better.
I'm so tired of the hype cycle.
It'll never be as good as when we had it in the print magazine days.
The only thing that determines whether the game is good or not
is going to be the game when you get your hands on it.
But if they show you enough, again, bravely default.
Totally, yeah.
It gets exposure, people check it out.
There's so much trust in the brand of Nintendo as far as quality goes.
For Nintendo games.
Yeah, but everyone looks at all the games shown on Nintendo Direct and says
If it's on Nintendo Direct, it's probably going to be pretty good.
Exactly.
So that's a big factor too, where nobody's even questioning it.
Everyone's just like, oh shit, this exists.
God damn.
A really good example is Hyrule Warriors, I think, will probably be terrible
because it's a Musou game.
But even you know.
But I still believe that because Nintendo's involved, it'll probably still be the best Musou game.
Which makes it a good game.
Yeah, it would make it a good game.
It would not better than that.
It would probably make me not hate it.
Yeah, it can't possibly.
That's basically a marriage proposal from Pat.
Well, here's the thing.
It would probably hate himself.
If Link is going to appear in something, they're going to damn well sure.
Make sure it's quality.
Make sure it's quality because they learned their lesson after the fucking Philips CD-i.
Or they'll chill out.
Or they'll fucking can it.
Or they'll can it.
It's not going to can it.
Like, look at Soul Calibur, they dropped them in the good one.
Yeah.
You know?
It's true.
And speaking of stuff with Bravely Default and all this stuff, did you catch the differences
between the Japanese version and the American version of Bravely Default?
Yeah, it's less lullies.
Which is good.
Yeah, I don't know if you saw the story, but the details basically are.
There are scantily clad little shitty girls.
I'll break it down really easily and really quickly.
Bravely Default, most of your main character, in Japan, most of your main characters are
15.
They make a bunch of sex jokes and they're, in some cases, scantily clad.
In western regions, they are covered up in a way that makes the art better.
Yes.
Like the costumes are notably improved by the lack of that.
The characters have all been changed to be 18 years old and they tone down the double
entendres a little bit.
That's the thing though.
What I wanted to say was the way this story is being built in a lot of the sites.
Censorship!
Well, it's just that censorship.
It's really funny because I saw them like, okay, the censorship on the clothing thing
is there, but I found the age change to be the more like, holy shit, that's the bigger
story.
That's way funnier to me.
We can't have the idea of you having sexual thoughts about a 15 or a 16 year old.
So shoot that shit up to 18 or 19.
It's some dudes in Japan making a game realizing that it's creepy.
No, it's Nintendo of America.
Nintendo of America going, hey, this is creepy.
Yes, Nintendo of America realizing that there's, you know, Christian families.
Stop Japaning all over these kids, please.
Well, in Pandora's Tower.
But it's not a game for kids in the first place.
It's complicated.
No, it's not.
The thing is though, the thing is though, and like...
Just make them all adults.
We've definitely talked about this a good bit before.
Here's the thing.
Remember, May from Guilty Gear is 18 years old.
Yes.
But here's the bit.
No matter how creepy it is, you shouldn't censor things from people.
Sure.
Don't do that.
Which is something they did.
I agree.
Let the creator be the creep that he wants to be and put it out there.
That being said, it's kind of hard for me to argue against this because I think all
the changes are actually for the betterment of the product.
But this is where I'm going.
Hold on.
This is where I'm going.
I don't personally want scantily clad 15 or 60-year-old girls in a game because that's
not appealing to me.
I don't care about that shit.
Show it to me anyway.
But don't stop the creator's expression to want to put that in his game.
The reason I don't like it is because...
Let him put it there and then we'll call the creator a creep bag.
The reason I don't like it...
Then we call the creator a creep bag and product fails.
But it won't.
Not in Japan.
Oh, sure not.
But don't hide it from them.
Okay.
I want to hear what Liam has to say.
The reason I don't like it is because these guys worked on a game for, let's say two years.
Yeah.
Minimum.
And they were probably asked many times, do you want to keep these this way?
Do you want to make this like this?
You know what?
I see that.
I totally disagree with you right away.
I believe that they would never ask.
Let's talk.
No.
But it was something that was put on paper and was written a few times and was typed
up and people looked at it and they said, yeah, this is what we want to do.
And I really don't like the premise of Nintendo coming along and filtering it.
And being like, and the Japanese guys sure as shit never saw the English script.
Same for Fire Emblem.
That got censored to shit.
Fire Emblem's still creepy.
Pokemon.
There was even that thing recently where someone noticed that they changed the line.
That the character was transgender.
And like no longer are they transgender.
They're just a girl now.
And that goes all the way back to the hilariousness of fucking poison back in the day.
Poison, yeah.
And how Japan...
The ultimate is taking crosses out of Castlevania.
That's a bad one.
But I really don't like the premise of just altering something that a creator has created.
Once I edited someone's art when I was really young, I was a young teenager.
And I just edited someone's art and tweaked it.
And they got really angry at me and that had a profound effect on me.
I said, shit, that was an asshole thing of me to do.
And here we are with large companies editing fantastic games.
But what they have in it is not great for the audience.
It is a teen audience.
I think.
It's 14 plus.
I think.
Like any five-year-old could buy a 14 plus.
But what if they cut the Jiggaloo missions out of Killer is Dead?
Well, then I made a better game and I would have supported it.
But that's where this is going, right?
Because I had it out and there's definitely a part of this where you're like,
I brought up Jiggaloo missions and Killer is Dead to you specifically.
Because that was something you didn't like about that.
I didn't like Jiggaloo missions.
And I said, what if they want to censor that?
And you sometimes, the censoring for our tastes would improve the product, right?
Yes.
But the difference is that the person's creative expression versus someone trying to step in
and put something to block that from you in a way.
If you look at like Dragon's Crown or any of that debacle that's been going on recently
and stuff like that, it's like if they just decided we're not even going to ask
or Vanilla Ware about these changes or anything,
it's just the localized version.
She had smaller boobs and they just edited the models.
Yeah.
Wouldn't that be bullshit?
Well, wouldn't that be bullshit and you're right.
But think about this.
For that example, maybe that's not the point,
that there's no one in the world that could have edited that but Vanilla Ware.
Yeah.
We know it could do those models.
I know.
But if it was like a Nintendo-style situation like this,
where they're changing the assets like that.
I agree with you on ethical,
the principle of integrity there.
And the only reason why it gets weird is that I think is that the game is improved by these changes.
I agree.
No, the same way.
The weirdest example ever was Yakuza 3 where when they localized it,
Sega said we don't want to localize all the hostess shit.
So we're just not going to do it.
Cutting in.
And they cut all the hostess stuff and just made it so you went to a burger joint
and like talked to a girl and got the achievements.
And I hate that shit in those games.
So when I was told that I could get to the secret boss and not have to do all that bullshit,
I was super happy about it.
And that's the thing is it's definitely a weird stance to take on it
because you're kind of looking at it and I totally think the girls with the covered up pants and thing look better.
Like I said, prostatots in my game, I don't need that.
So let's say during the Triforce hunting quest in Wind Waker,
someone says, hey girl, and then Nintendo cut the entire Triforce hunting quest.
We've just been like not happy about this.
I mean, obviously.
That's a famous example.
It's extreme.
In terms of Bravely Default, it makes it a better product.
That's why I want to just put out there that like the thing is for business reasons,
it makes total sense for them to do that.
The extreme version of this.
Does it?
No, I'm saying business, but not creative integrity reasons.
It doesn't make any sense from a business standpoint.
It makes no sense.
Well, hold on. Where I'm going with this is the extreme version that is the original Pokemon card game
that had what people thought was a swastika on one of the cards.
It was a mangy.
It was a mangy.
And basically it's like, okay, so this is not a swastika.
It has nothing to do with it.
It was from a historic symbol, all that shit.
What did it say? Yeah.
What did it say at the start of every comic, a blade of the arrow?
I don't know exactly.
You're an idiot if you think this has anything to do with Nazis.
Fuck you.
Now is Nintendo going to explain that to every parent that sees the swastika?
No, they just go fuck it.
We're not going to even have this.
But that's the thing.
For starters, the parents would never see this content in Bravely Default.
The parent who buys it for their cluelessly would never see this.
And even more than that, you wouldn't even know about this content unless they censored it.
The internet told me.
No, the internet told you they censored it.
Yeah.
Had they not censored it, you wouldn't even know about it.
You wouldn't be any wiser.
And for people like me-
You wouldn't know about the content.
You're saying that the content's hidden?
No, I'm saying Bravely Default would be coming.
You'd be like, yeah, Bravely Default.
You wouldn't be saying, oh, censorship for the better.
There's an example of this happening before.
But I'm trying to say-
It would end up just being like Bravely Default.
Hey, did you know that it's got these girls and bikinis that are 16?
Yeah, okay.
But you wouldn't have known until it came out and you wouldn't have an issue.
Well, it certainly wouldn't be a news story.
It wouldn't be anything to talk about.
There'd be nothing.
So this is just a whole overblown thing over a bullshit decision.
And the reason I think it's bullshit, it's not going to help sales.
It's not.
They spent money on assets.
But the reason why I say the business decision makes sense,
because I can follow the logic of the marketers that go,
we don't want to have at least these dangerous topics in our Nintendo games.
Remember, in North America, like the transgender thing is bullshit.
It's bullshit.
That is total garbage.
You shouldn't do that.
But they're doing it because they're like,
we don't even want to have the argument.
Fuck it.
But like-
It's like we don't care about having integrity or anything.
In both.
We don't want to have this sexual argument.
But in both cases, they kill someone's creative direction.
Yeah.
In both cases.
But they do it for business reasons.
I just want to point out that this is tangentially related to other artistic directions,
which have been ruled legal in Japan and illegally North America.
I don't want to say that's not the case.
The issue I see here is that there are two lines,
the ethical and the practical.
Both are blurry and they're kind of next-
They're pretty close to each other, but kind of not.
And they don't quite overlap.
And they're trying to stand in the middle of both of them.
So they're only a little bit over each line.
This is not egregious.
It is, I believe, to be totally fine.
The Nintendo is a company that has a long history of censoring shit.
So you watch them.
Exactly.
But in this particular case, I think the controversy is dramatically overall.
Which one had the butt shot in it?
Fire Emblem.
Fire Emblem had the butt shot.
Yeah, exactly.
And they just covered it up.
But to me, it's just like the problem I have with it
is now I'm going to be playing bravely at fault.
And every minute I'm going to be wondering if I'm actually eating a jelly donut.
What?
You know, like, that's what it's actually going to be.
You really lost me on the jelly donut.
Are you actually joking?
No.
You know what?
I know what you mean.
What are you talking about?
In Pokemon.
But they censored, well, they didn't censor.
But they were eating an Onigiri, a rice ball,
and they called it a jelly donut.
Or the early milk bars in a bunch of games.
Exactly.
Or in Phoenix Wright, instead of going to eat sashimi,
they're like, let me stuff my fat face of burger.
Conversations about giant tits are turned into conversations about cheese.
Liam, you're right.
But then you'll have to judge the game on its own localized merits when it comes out here.
What bothers me is the fact that I know I'm not getting the original version.
Okay.
And I know it's different.
Yeah.
I'm not a fan of, like, that's something I don't have.
I don't go like, I'm afraid of the unknown kind of thing.
It's not the unknown.
But I definitely don't think, just on a general level,
like, don't fuck with someone's creation.
Even if I like you, you're told the result.
I can remember an example that combines all of these together into one event.
It reminded me when you said that you would never have known about these content changes,
or whatever, if not for them changing it.
I remember when Xenosaga 1 came out in Japan right away,
people were talking about a super fucked up scene near the end of the game,
in which a character literally shoves his arm into a 12 year old.
Okay.
And then that was changed for American release.
Okay.
Right away, people are saying, there's no fucking way.
That scene is coming unchanged to North America,
way before it was actually censored.
So the argument that you would never have heard about it,
like, with this example, yes, with a bunch of other ones.
No, of course.
But in the case where it's like two late game costumes that are so nothing.
Sure.
You have no idea.
For example, in this case, I understand your ethical thing to fight for it,
but for the Xenosaga thing, no one was willing to stand up and say,
I want to defend the artistic integrity of this scene of a dude fisting a girl robot.
And I think, well, now you've specified exactly who it is.
Yeah, it's Momo.
It's Momo.
Yeah, it's the card capture girl.
And the dude just shoves his whole arm in there.
And you're like, whoa.
Yeah.
Sorry, go ahead.
I was going to say, like, I spent a lot of time in like,
EV games and whatever.
And I've seen a million parents coming in with games, buying them,
saying, what type of thing is this?
For me, it makes sense that some Nintendo marketing executives go,
you know what?
Kids buy our consoles.
Some kids are going to get bravely default at some point,
but maybe that grandma doesn't know what the fuck this game is.
I'm going to get my child the game.
A kid might turn on his game and say, I can't get through this part.
I don't.
Dad, can you help me?
Big brother, can you help me?
They're going to see a piece of text.
And this is what the marketing guy thinks.
They're going to see this piece of text and their mom is going to see it.
And if the right mom that's in the right group and the right part of the country
sees this, makes a stink, this is Nintendo going, you know what?
It's probably best to avoid Nintendo.
How am I going to explain to my child what a transgender person is?
Yes, yes.
That's the thought.
And like, while it kind of sucks, they do agree with Liam's like,
this is ethically, yeah, it stomps them the thing.
Like, that's what you've got to do in this age.
I just want to point out that Bravely Default still has a completely uncensored quote unquote
like bunny girl outfit from one of the characters.
Sure.
And one where one of the guys is completely butt naked except for a scarf.
Did they censor that?
No.
Oh.
Like, there's major double standards too.
It makes sense.
Nintendo spent a lot of time.
Also the game is rated by the ESRB.
Spent a lot of time cultivating a child friendly image.
And they are also coming off of a fucking scandal with Swapnote.
Yeah.
Sure.
They really want to cultivate a child friendly image.
I'm not saying it's okay.
Yeah.
And I'm not saying they should have done it.
Can somebody just make an image macro of like giant Bayonetta ass and just write child
friendly?
Yeah.
It is child friendly.
Just wonder pitch in there too.
Huge butt cleavage.
Yeah.
But you know that game is rated M for mature.
Unfortunately.
I bring the default rated T for the team.
And rated T for teen.
But a small child can get away with getting that more than immature.
And is that right?
What's the Senor rating?
Well, we've gone into a much broader.
I don't know what this is.
Broader topping now.
Topping.
Topping.
Moving along though.
To the newest topping.
Moving along.
And talking about Nintendo Translate.
Transliteration.
Transliteration.
No, no, no.
Burdo.
Nintendo's translation.
Transliteration.
I don't want to talk about Burdo.
I always want to.
Burdo confuses me.
And the Treehouse in general.
What about the Treehouse?
There was a recent interview on the Jonathan Homeshow.
Where Marcus Lindblum, this guy that was the head writer for the English Earthbound
game.
Ah, yeah.
Was talking about how he wanted to do a book, like sort of retrospective.
Talking about, you know, what he learned from writing Earthbound and the insides of
how that went and stuff.
And Nintendo was like, fuck that shit.
No, you're not.
You're not allowed to come out with that.
That shit's too raw.
We can't let.
And it's just, it's weird.
It's weird.
Because it's like, that's kind of sad.
Because you're like, how many Earthbound fans would want that shit?
Yeah.
You've even heard the theories about why Earthbound gets all these blocks, right?
No.
It's because of music.
In Earthbound.
Really?
In Earthbound.
Yeah.
And like in Earthbound.
It's like a Sonic 3.
Like, there's a lot of musical influences in like the Super Nintendo Earthbound.
There's a lot of musical influences in like the Super Nintendo Earthbound.
And I think a little something in one, or a mother one, or whatever.
Where it, they, maybe the Japanese composers were very liberal with their music influences.
And there's a lot of samples of stuff that, and there was some sort of filings or trademark
things that kind of led to that.
Well, hold on.
It can't actually be samples.
It's like chiptune conversions.
Yeah.
There's something about that, but that still doesn't make sense to why Mother 3 and everything.
I was about to say, that doesn't explain Mother 3.
Well, Mother 3 was because that, what the fuck game was that?
Magical Star sign didn't sell well.
Magical Star sign came out after Mother 3, didn't it?
Here, Magical Star sign was a test game.
Didn't that come out after Mother 3 here?
Like chronologically?
Mother 3 came out in Japan.
And then when they were deciding whether or not to bring Mother 3 here, they put out
Magical Star sign and said, oh, the people like, no, they don't fucking, no Mother 3 ever.
The thing is, when you open up some guy's retrospective book, you're not hearing copyrighted samples.
No.
But he might be saying the reason, maybe he might be alluding to reason why.
I bet you there's something embarrassing in there, like that time Yamauchi came down
and poured coffee on an intern.
Or when Miyamoto, and then told her to take a suck.
Or when Miyamoto randomly kidnapped employees.
Oh, that was weird.
No, it's just-
It's on the Pikmin era.
No, no, but Yamauchi comes in and kills one of the Earthbound developers with a trident
for over three minutes, and then walks back to his desk and goes, eh.
That's a callback no one's getting.
No one's gonna guess.
No, Nintendo's fucking weird.
Remember though, this is Nintendo of America, right?
They're all weird.
And the Treehouse is super secretive about everything.
This to me just feels like more sort of, we just don't show you our insides.
They want the mystique of Treehouse to be fine.
We don't show you our guts, you know?
We keep it inside.
Nintendo is so secretive about everything.
I don't know why the Nintendo actually bothers you.
The Nintendo directs like, inside jokes with the employees that they make?
They're pretty funny.
They are, but that's the most they've ever gone inside.
I can understand why Nintendo of Japan is secretive, but that makes sense.
But it never made sense, well, because Japanese are secretive.
You know what I'm saying?
You know this whole conversation reminds me of, and I know you're all gonna jump on me
because of the game title I'm going to say, because it's Xenogears.
But the guy who localized the script for that.
Sorry, guy? One guy?
It was one guy.
He localized the entire script, which was huge for the time.
He came out recently and did an interview where he's just...
You imagine him in the interview, like he's sweaty in his tie as a jar.
Because he's describing it.
It's like, oh my god, it was so hard.
They kept wanting to call everything Yahweh.
I couldn't stop them.
They were so nuts.
That's pretty awesome.
Like, he kept scratching out the word Yahweh, and he sent it to Japan.
And they'd write it back.
He was basically saying like they had to meet every single day over him saying,
I can't translate it directly.
It's going to piss off everyone.
Like, is there like a cut boss fight where they're fighting fucking Muhammad at some point?
Like, what the fuck, man?
Yeah, cut boss fight.
Jeez, anyone joking?
No, you're right.
Nintendo is weirdly secretive about things that you don't need it.
Because, just talk?
Like, it's earthbound.
You're not doing anything with the first day, second point.
Nintendo Directs are all about, like, look what we got.
Look, here's some stuff coming out soon.
But those aren't detail-oriented.
Those are the big expositions.
Like, they've got a kind of like...
Yes, but the intent of the Nintendo Direct is like directly to you.
Here's the information.
And we're giving it to you in this format that no one else does.
But you're telling it to the student.
Shut up.
That's their public face.
Yeah.
Well, if you ask the average person, like, yeah, Nintendo, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Exactly.
So the end of like 45 minutes of arguing is that Nintendo is fucking weird.
Is that, is that the...
No.
Well, yeah.
But we segued already.
We were moving on.
They're super weird, though.
We segued user pro.
Oh, wait.
You.
Sure.
You know what, yeah.
The thing about default, while they might be censoring it, if it wasn't for Nintendo,
we probably wouldn't be getting it at all.
No, don't confuse my answers.
No, not to you.
I'm just saying in general.
Different people that made those decisions.
I'm just saying in general, yeah.
You know what else is weird?
What?
I'm still looking for a term.
Apparently, uh, what's weird?
Final Fantasy 10, 2.5.
Oh, shut up.
We shut up.
Oh, my God.
That's the worst.
Shut up.
Did you guys read about the 10, 2.5?
Yes, I did.
Okay.
I couldn't understand it.
I thought it was a goddamn lie when I read it.
I thought, like, I knew the book was coming out.
So we should, we should, wait, hold up.
Let's back up.
Yeah.
The 10, 2.5 is a radio drama?
No, it's a book.
It's a book.
It's a short novel.
Okay.
That goes fan fiction?
No, official.
No.
Official.
No, P4r did a piece on that.
Right.
Anyway, it goes after Fantasy 10, 2 and before the epilogue.
It was being implied to be 10, 3.
The epilogue of 10, 2 HD remaster.
That was such a genuine out of magic.
Sorry.
Just because I want to reply to Willy is that when everyone says words like 10, 2.5 and
10, 3, it's like all I can think about is someone's like, you know what?
Everyone liked Jar Jar.
Yeah.
Let's put him back into this new stuff.
Like, why?
No one wants it.
So 10, 2.5.
Yeah.
Short story.
And it's getting incriminating reviews on Amazon.
I read a synopsis.
I could not understand.
I saw the synopsis.
Okay, I'm going to go over the synopsis.
It's getting unforgivable reviews.
Unforgivable reviews.
I saw the synopsis.
I thought someone was making it up just to get shits totally.
Totally.
It sounds like you're looking for Bathmo Dads.
It's ridiculous.
American Akira script.
I'm going to go down it and it's like my synopsis won't be perfect because I didn't read it
too many times because it was just making me angry.
But Yuna and Titus get on a boat and they crash on an island.
It's so fallen.
And at some point Titus sees all these blitzballs.
You don't see this?
It's Titus.
Whichever Titus.
I didn't actually like beat 10s.
I'm not super into that.
You're probably going to get on.
You didn't beat 10?
No.
So you don't even know the most outrageous part about this whole thing.
I know.
I know.
I know what the most outrageous part is.
Don't you worry.
I know what happens.
But anyway, so he sees a bunch of blitzballs on the beach.
And he's nuts.
And he goes to kick one.
But it turns out the one he kicked wasn't one.
It was a bomb.
And Titus blows up.
And his head lands near Yuna with a shocked expression on its face.
And she passes out.
And she wakes up and she goes off.
She fucks off.
And she uses the, what do they call it again?
The bugs?
The pyroflies.
To make a new Titus.
And if I'm not mistaken, she has a new relationship with the new Titus.
But then it gets all hollow and weird.
And then Lulu's like, Titus is making out some girl.
I won't tell you who, by the way, be prepared for the sequel.
That's probably going to be a game.
Because things are coming back.
Okay, should we?
Okay, ff10 came out in 2001, correct?
Yeah, I think so.
Does that mean that it's spoiler territories over?
No, it's spoiler.
Statutory limitations has not run out.
Because it's still coming out in March.
Because the reason why this is all filthy revolves around the ending of 10.
So anyone who cares about spoilers, stop listening for exactly two minutes.
Okay, 120 seconds.
Go.
The whole problem is that ff10's entire plot is built around the ending that Titus dies.
And that Yuna has to live on without him.
10-2 is then Toriyama doing a redo.
And the whole plot is about maybe he's still alive.
And then they forcibly bring him back to life.
And then this stupid fucking novel has him killed immediately.
And then brought that to life again.
And then there might do a sequel to a sequel no one wanted.
It's the actual worst.
You forgot that Titus is killed immediately in a way that can only be called Benny Hill Acid.
Like, you know, accidentally keep the ball.
It is the ultimate, I'm done with spoilers now.
We have to end two minutes because they're not listening.
Keep going.
How much time do I have?
One minute.
Oh, one minute?
Okay, don't say anything important because people aren't listening.
The whole impact of 10 is the death of your character.
And an ending monologue that is really depressing and about moving on with your life.
Only for 10.2 to start with that.
And then have no one move on.
But the whole point of 10 is about moving on with your life.
And then 10.2 is a game that doesn't move on with it's life.
The whole Japanese ad campaign for the HD remaster was about being with someone special while you can for the time you can.
Toriyama, there have been times when developers have shit over the original intentions of the original developers while making a sequel.
Toriyama shit over his own intention.
10 seconds.
Then he made with 10.
With a sequel.
And now possibly another sequel.
He's single-handedly chokeslamming Final Fantasy Ultra Tokyo Tower.
You're done.
The crux of that is that Toriyama has killed Final Fantasy.
But hey, you know what? FF103 would sell like gangbusters.
Possibly.
Just like Lightning Returns.
The worst bit is...
Yes, actually.
I thought Lightning Returns is terrible.
Dude, no, no.
It's not.
No, wait, sorry, sorry, I lost you.
No, it did.
Lightning Returns didn't do good.
Worst Final Fantasy.
It did awful.
Worst Final Fantasy.
What was it being compared to when...
Final Fantasy X HD.
All platforms.
Then, sorry, you're right.
Beat Lightning Returns.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The XIII saga, XIII sold the best and then...
XIII sold great.
Then XII...
Sorry, fucking XIII sold...
Oh my god, these names.
Yeah, I know.
Then XIII XII sold like less than half.
But all right.
And I believe Lightning Return sold almost less than half.
Then XIII...
Which you can make the joke because XIII...
Yeah, XIII XII, but the thing that beat it was XIII.
That's right.
Which is what we're talking about.
The last good Final Fantasy.
Therefore, it's...
People are going to stab me because I didn't say XII, but I have my reasons.
XII is better than XIII.
Some people even stab you about four parts.
Parts of XII.
Parts of XIII.
International is better, but the original version of XII had really busted you.
We are not getting into this right now.
We can take 10 gameplay and sort of 12 story characters.
When I go to the next panel, somebody can ask me why I like X better than XII.
And everyone can just walk out of the panel at that point.
That's correct.
It could be the last question.
We are not getting into this right now, but we are getting into the fact that Phantom
Pain has a map that is hundreds of times larger than Ground Zeroes.
You know what that means?
That it's exactly what we thought.
Ground Zeroes is that one base.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yes.
Big surprise.
Storyline and that one base and several missions in that base.
And it's going to be sick.
And Phantom Pain will actually have one base.
But that one base will have tons of funny shit.
Totally will.
Absolutely.
I can't wait to find frogs that are super well built.
Here's my crazy paranoid fear.
Oh.
I really...
It's going to be built by a computer.
Well, no.
It's just that it was all a dream.
When something becomes open world, it becomes less directed.
Yeah.
No.
Right?
So Ground Zeroes was...
You're worried of the oblivion problem in which you have forests and hills and it's so boring.
And being snake is just not going to cut it there because you're like, I want this to be a directed story.
People made MGS3 possibly make a game like that.
Of course.
I don't think they could.
But when they're selling that with Ground Zeroes...
Here's what you do.
I kind of go, all right.
Sure.
But with Phantom Pain it's like, are they also going that direction?
I don't know.
It doesn't look like it according to the trailers, but we'll see.
Hey, Willie, here's how you do that.
It's a stupid little...
Yeah.
You ready?
You ready how you do that?
You fucking make 90% of the map wilderness.
With only 10% of the map being settlements and structures and urban areas.
Remember the reveal trailer where he's galloping around the desert?
You remember how much you would see into the desert and you would see him look to the fucking horizon?
And there'd be nothing.
Well, you remember all the bits where they fast forwarded the footage?
Yeah, exactly.
And I'm so long to get there.
That's how you do it.
And there will be areas...
And where you're staring at the watch?
There will be areas that are...
I'm trying to think of an example.
Far Cry 3 is a good example of does this exact thing.
There will be settlements that are not copy pasted, but less time went into them because
they're just settlements to do little side shit in.
And then there will be the areas the story makes you go.
Just Cause.
Sure.
And those areas will have all the love and care that you expect from a Kojima Pro game.
Quite probably.
Yeah, because the Just Cause island is the biggest, most ridiculous thing, and it's all foliage.
Let's be real anyway.
You won't give a shit when you're running around and riding it.
It's the old...
All for one mission.
It's the old problem.
You'll do jewel unlock with skin.
That goes back to the linear design of most of this generation's games, or last generation's
games, is that why would you spend lots of HD money on something you're not even sure
that the player is going to see?
Back in the PS2 days, with MGS3 and stuff like that, when you wanted to slap a EGM magazine
on a coffee table in the guard barracks, like, okay, fuck it, that takes 20 minutes.
But to do that now, so they're only going to put all the really high love and care into
areas that they know you're going to go.
When you go to save cash, that'll be a fucking good spot.
That'll be a thing, of course.
There'll be a little Sergeant Caroro on his desk, right next to his arm.
Dude, I went through MGS3 without even knowing those were in there.
I didn't see a single one.
If you shoot them all, you get the chameleon.
And there will be three secret snakes crawling around the map on the extremities.
Sushinoko's return.
Solid liquid and solid air.
So here's the thing.
Don't worry, because if there's any director of making games now who is insane and detail
oriented enough and has a runaway budget to, like, mitigate that fear, it's Kojima and
everything they're letting him do.
And what did Kojima do the last time something went awry?
Gave it to someone who could do it.
He gave it to Platinum.
Sure.
How about here you go.
So Phantom Pain goes bad?
Get ready for Phantom Pain electric boogaloo Platinum.
Hey, man.
He opens the studio.
Yeah.
Like what?
He's using all that health, those health center monies on Metagir.
Metagir.
Metagir.
I'm tired.
Speaking of things the player never sees.
They dance.
They play a little.
Speaking of things the player never sees.
Have you got...
Oh, come on.
That's just so many things I just want to yell at.
Yeah.
Have any of you been blessed with the opportunity to play Resident Evil Outbreak at any time?
Never actually.
Never actually.
You managed to actually...
Really?
Of course I did.
How do you look at who you're talking about?
I guess.
I guess.
That game was crippled by two unfortunate technical decisions.
One was to...
A headset?
One was to make it 3D so that the loading times without the PS2's hard drive were 14 seconds
for every room.
That's on the low end.
And the second one is they didn't want people to not be afraid.
So they disabled all forms of voice communication and did not support the SOCOM PS2 headset.
Yeah.
Which meant that when there were puzzles in which you had to combine items that people
could just pick up and not give to you, the game would be incompletable.
But that was also so that the zombie mode would work better.
Yeah.
Who's a zombie?
Who's a player?
Whatever.
That being said, that game had walking and shooting in Resident Evil.
Well, how would you like to play it again?
I wouldn't, because they were bad.
Well, too bad.
Because a bunch of dudes totally hacked it.
Man, we are talking a lot about this kind of thing today.
Yeah, a bunch of dudes totally hacked it.
They hacked the Japanese copy specifically and got that end of the RE outbreak file too
back online on their own hosted server.
I think Capcom has a game that they should totally, like not remake, just fucking clean up a little bit
and re-releases like an XBLA game or something.
The outbreak games without the low times and with voice chat would be totally awesome.
Probably.
Also kind of ruin what they were trying though?
No.
Okay.
They thought it would, but they were wrong.
They're stupid.
And then they made the new outbreak, which was made by Slant6, which is the worst piece of shit ever.
Yeah, basically.
Okay, never.
No voice chat if you're a zombie though.
Whatever.
No, you just go, girl.
That's what RE6 does.
The zombie player characters are hyped up, but they never happen.
It never ever happens.
Just games.
But part of that release from that group was an even bigger piece of news that I don't know how we missed.
This is the same group that got Metal Gear Solid 3 Subsistances online back up.
Of course it is.
Yes.
Which is way more important.
We should probably be playing that.
We should probably be playing that.
We should probably be playing that.
We should probably be playing that.
I don't pay attention to you.
Well, there's no time.
Why are we even talking?
It's a podcast.
Yep.
They make us.
I wish it was possible to get fours online back online.
Fours is awful compared to three.
No, it's not.
It's not.
It's a totally different game that they said was the same game.
So people like you and I that love threes were like, what the fuck is this?
It's actually really good.
Yeah.
What's odd about the RE outbreak thing in particular is that the reason why they can't do the American one is because the US release introduces a piece of middleware that they can't figure out.
I thought it was because they only had a capture of the network data.
I have no technical idea what I'm talking about, but I thought they only had a capture of the network data for the Japanese one, and that's why they could only do that one.
No, they said that the, what I read, the article I read seemed to imply that there was extra middleware in the US release.
Okay.
Yeah.
That makes sense.
And to me, when you think about the internet connections in Japan versus America there, both in distance, scale, and speed.
It probably is.
Both in that said three things.
It was probably powered by games by.
No, GGPO.
They got GGPO on that shit.
It's funny that all the most exciting things happening with Resident Evil have nothing to do with Capcom.
These guys brought, I'll break back, there are guys remaking the beta version of Resident Evil 2.
The real Resident Evil 6 is coming out in the form of Evil with Ben.
Totally.
Oh, but no, we've been talking about hacking and modding things recently because dudes are breaking shit and just...
I was going to say, it must be a slow fucking news day because there's nothing going on with new games so people need to hack old games.
Why the fuck would you announce new games now?
I was going to say like, we sound really ignorant because we're just like putting aside 20 years of hacking games.
Of course.
No, you guys are.
No, like these two.
I know it too.
Maybe I'm just putting it out there that I don't want to sound ignorant.
Sure.
Maybe Pat doesn't want to sound ignorant.
But it's interesting that like, to me it's interesting when an online game that's dead gets revived by a group that's awesome.
It's just the natural extension of people running private WoW servers.
Sure.
If WoW was dead.
Yeah.
But it's even weirder that that happened while WoW was alive.
They're bringing back Outbreak, it's Resident Evil Outbreak.
If you want to go play old Galaxies or old Precatechalism WoW, you can.
Speaking of fucking around.
Legally though.
You should though.
Don't do it.
It's against the law.
Speaking of fucking around with old shit and like messing with old games.
How's your mom?
Yeah.
Right?
Really?
You aren't tired.
I had it set in my head and then you said, and old games and I'm like, well it doesn't work now but it's too late because I'm already staying around.
We ran into your mom at the con though.
Oh yeah.
We got footage of her.
Yeah man.
I needed to get the wide angle in.
She was real friendly down there.
That was great.
You guys were awesome.
Anyway.
It was just a room with a bunch of holes in it.
I started it and then says that you are jerks because I lost.
So yeah, fucking with old shit.
Remember, you know Ness Remix that came out?
Yeah.
I'm not hearing good things about that.
It's fine.
Whatever.
It's a simple little thing, you know, but they had a little contest that they were advertising where they wanted to check out everyone.
You get your speed runs up there.
They did not think this through at all.
Yeah, let's get your speed runs up there and then they immediately now came out and were like, we have to cancel the contest because cheaters are ruining it for everybody.
But they shouldn't have known.
Yeah, people are totally cheating because they're going faster and getting scores that are unattainable.
Are they using what?
Game genies?
Here's the thing.
That's what I was like.
I was what I read this.
I was like, dude, everyone's got to ruin shit.
What the fuck?
And it's like, wait, no, what are the cheaters doing?
They're fucking pressing start over and over and the delay on unpausing the game.
Oh, shut up.
Oh, shut up.
So this is going back to the fucking Ness.
This is a bug they should know about.
This is a 30 year old bug at least in these old games.
And people are just doing that while they're running through the stages and getting better times than other people.
They're getting like negative times.
You can't say that they're not giving you the authentic NES experience.
Exactly.
No simulated slowdown here.
Remember what I told you in Pokemon Puzzle League?
You should be the final bosses just by pausing the game and seeing the box.
It doesn't get rid of your pieces when you pause the game.
Right, right, right.
You see your box and make your next move.
Pause, see your box, make your next move.
Yeah.
I don't know about Jovement.
That's hilarious, man.
What an oversight.
Yeah, what a huge oversight.
Really fun game, but what a huge oversight.
There's other, like, sketchy shit going on here, too.
Ooh, I love sketchy shit.
Sketchy shit.
E-sports.
E-sports.
E-sports.
Real sketchy.
Are we talking about collusion and blast bloom?
E-sports has always been sketchy.
But we're going to new levels of sketchy.
Okay.
What country are we going to?
Korea.
Of course.
The King Palace of E-sports.
Sketch, sketch, sketch.
Where was the VXG tournaments?
The Blaze Blue one?
No, no, no, no.
The Fighting Game one.
No, not Blaze Blue.
The Fighting Games.
Where they flew everyone down to the islands.
I don't fucking know.
Oh, whatever.
You're making things up.
It doesn't matter.
Anyway, they flew a bunch of people down to a beach.
St. Martin.
It was in St. Martin.
Oh, right.
This big fighting game tournament.
That place.
Oh, right.
Chris G.
Yeah.
Apparently no one got paid out for that.
And everyone's going like those guys are frauds or whatever.
Meanwhile, over here in Korea, at this StarCraft.
Oh, Korea.
With the StarCraft thing.
There is an E-sports group.
StarCraft confirmed?
Yes.
It's the game we're talking about.
Yes.
Yes.
Quantum Gaming.
E-sports scandal with StarCraft.
It's an E-sports group.
Quantum Dream Gaming.
Quantum Dream Gaming.
The CEO of Quantum Gaming has gone missing.
He's totally fucking disappeared off the face of the planet, apparently, while owing
tons of his players a whole bunch of money.
Like, how much are you talking?
Well, it's good amounts.
Well, one dude, I don't know.
Ko Hyun, a top player, is hunting him down to get his $23,000.
Yeah.
That's enough.
You want to have that dude.
The guy holding the purse string said, hey, I have a million dollars in my hands right
now, and I owe it to a bunch of nerds that play StarCraft.
Time to go to Tahiti.
No, he said nothing and disappeared.
Yeah, exactly.
Got disappeared.
No, no, he disappeared himself.
He disappeared himself.
He disappeared.
Yes, Simon Boudreau is the owner.
That doesn't sound very Korean.
No, it doesn't.
In fact, it sounds French.
If I'm not mistaken, he's totally one of those awesome StarCraft 2 players that came over
from Quebec specifically to go to Korea.
Thanks for repping us super hard, Simon.
We should send him money.
Yeah.
What?
Yeah, no.
Just let me know.
Wait a fuck shit up.
It's just kind of like, okay, so the biggest e-sports out there, obviously StarCraft 2
doing all kinds of numbers.
League is out there.
League is League.
I think it's League.
I think it's League.
Worldwide, I think it's League.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
Korea is League.
It's StarCraft.
Korea, you're right.
No, Korea is StarCraft.
League is Worldwide and in the West it's Dota.
Whatever it is, it's a game from the top down and you control a bunch of people.
Curl them same RTS garbage.
They all play identical.
You're only here first.
They're all a waste of money.
They'll make you dumb.
Barrels and barrels and barrels of which Blizzard can't even fill their coffers with
because it's Scrooge McDuck, they're so smart.
Anyway, so much money they can play Titan by like three more years.
With every step towards like legitimate sort of business things and TV deals and what
you can put all the dudes wearing suits on fucking internet TV you want.
As long as this shit keeps happening.
When one of these fuckers just goes, oh shit.
I'm out of here.
I took all the money.
It was me.
Fuck that bill.
Also, players getting caught throwing games.
You got to step up like, you know, the NFL, the NBA and like hide it better.
But like, don't stop.
You're never going to be able to stop people throwing games or buying refs.
That's why I only watch wrestling.
You know you're getting it.
You know he was paid to lose.
But when Mark McGuire and Barry Bonds are injecting drugs to put on a better show for
us, who are we to stop that?
You know, here's the thing.
I believe that all major league sports should be forced to take performance enhancing drugs
and they should also be forced when the time comes to get cybernetic enhancements.
I just want Mutant League, okay?
Is that so much to ask?
Mutant League Starcraft.
They got robot click and hands.
Mutant League are the very least base wars.
Sure.
Or remember Baseball and Futurama's got those giant turrets?
Sorry A-Rod.
We got to cut those legs off and replace them with a flying saucer.
Multiball!
Multiball!
Wouldn't that be the greatest thing ever?
Yeah.
Learnsball.
What are you talking about?
Esports.
Esports.
Right.
Robots.
Oh my god.
Hey.
That's why the fighting in community is better.
You like that Dracon Guards?
He was talking about it.
Yes, he was.
He just modded it.
Yeah, almost.
No.
He's a very nice man.
Let's hope he gets a job.
I really hope he does too.
Apparently the director of Dracon Guard 3 is unemployed right now.
I don't know.
Wait, was he fired or quit?
I don't think he was employed by Spironics.
He worked at Caviar.
He was a temp.
He was brought in on a contract.
That's super weird.
And he finished it and he's like, I am now back to being unemployed.
If the game does well, he'll likely pick up work no problem.
Hopefully.
He says sure.
He was asked on Twitter about Dracon Guard 4 and he said, I want to do it on the PS4, but
I don't have the money on Happy Face.
And that really makes me unhappy face too.
I'm not for sure you're going to say the director of Dracon Guard 3 has also disappeared.
What are we talking about?
We're talking about how some guys are just grabbing martial artists to study their
data.
And now there are people just saying, stop talking about Sadler's plan.
No, no, no.
No, no, no.
Let's talk about...
Maybe I'll be swallowed by your evil.
No, let's talk about monitor cyborgs.
Okay.
Are looking at martial artists.
I hate monitor cyborgs.
They're the worst.
They're the best.
They're cute.
Unemployed game directors.
Unemployed monitor cyborgs.
We're talking about Chris Blazinski now?
No.
He's not unemployed.
He's rich.
There's a difference.
He's also a monitor cyborg.
We're not talking about the dude huge, man.
The huge dude?
Nah, man.
You don't say the dude huge.
It's just dude huge.
Just dude huge.
Whatever.
Read the lore.
Sure.
Don't call him Cliffy B either.
He did that and then he regretted it.
Uh, yeah, no.
Apparently for reals this time, guys, 2014, we're getting it.
We're getting Devil's 3rd.
80% done.
80% done.
Right?
Did we talk about this last year?
Like, I feel like we talked about this a little bit.
I think I talked about this last year.
No, no, no.
No, that was the thing that said, hey guys, Itagaki says it's totally not dead.
Yeah.
I said it was 80% dead.
And now he's like, it's 80% dead.
And it's coming in 2014.
He said no.
I said no.
You buy the game and you open it up and all that's inside is a pair of melted sunglasses.
No, it's just a big cookie.
I think it will be a good game.
It's a copy of his parole agreement.
It's a piece of his melted flesh.
That went with melted sunglasses because it would be nicer than that.
Don't make fun of him because he's got a horrible melted face.
The glasses keep him in check.
They're not melted.
They're his limiter?
Yes.
No, I think I said this before with the load bearing glasses.
Yeah, you did.
We talked about that.
We're horrible.
I feel bad now.
Well, he's a terrible man.
I would gladly make fun of him for being a sexually harassing dirtbag misogynistic piece of crap.
But, like, making fun of his horrible melted face.
That crosses the line.
Just because taking off his glasses is comparable to pulling the lance of Longinus out of Adam.
And just watching the shit come tumbling down doesn't mean we're being that mean.
We're just being true.
That game is never going to come out.
One trailer of it exists ever.
And it has no publisher.
And it hasn't had a publisher in, like, years.
Well, it might have a publisher.
Like, is that still going to be a 360 game?
Probably not.
Probably not.
There's a ton of details.
But...
Oh, man.
Hey, let's just keep that segue trail.
And for fuck's sake.
Maybe watch it be that big jab.
Microsoft Japanese Xbox One exclusive.
Maybe.
Team Ninja made a bad...
Hmm.
Team Ninja made a really good Xbox.
A really bad...
What do you call it?
Ninja Gaiden.
But then they also made the best Dead or Alive.
Hmm.
So, Itagaki clearly wasn't the whole, like, creative vision behind that studio.
No, I'm sure.
But, you know, Valhalla, they're a team.
They've been working.
That's...
Are they real?
Yes.
Are they people that exist?
Yes, they are real.
Or are they all just cardboard cutouts of itagaki?
They are real.
That X-Bone exclusive thing is not even an infeasible...
Yeah, infeasible.
He likes Xbox for whatever reason.
And guys like Samurai Swords.
And they're desperate enough for the damn thing to come out.
They would do it.
They would totally do it.
They'd take that.
I hope it's not Kamiya's next game on the X-Bone exclusive that they say.
It's gonna be.
Oh.
It's getting excited for the wonderful 102.
X-Bone only.
Oh.
If they actually call it that.
They wouldn't make...
I know.
That would be the Super 50.
Nintendo owns the name.
Super 50.
Of course.
Let's regress.
Shall we?
No.
It's the Xtreme 8.
No.
It's the acceptable 3.
The par one.
Speaking of unfinished games that never saw the light of day.
Some dudes bought a Dreamcast dev kit, loaded that shit up, and saw a copy of Toja Mineral
3.
Yeah, yeah.
Just sitting there.
Yeah, that's huge market.
I remember hearing that that existed, but I didn't know that it was...
Not really.
No one remembers it.
Kind of.
I had a Genesis and I don't remember it.
Can't wait to play it.
It doesn't mean it wasn't cool.
It was all right, right?
Yeah.
It was called Toja Mineral.
Anyway, they released it.
Well, here's the deal.
The guys that found it in particular.
Yeah.
It's an interesting close.
I'm not an interesting story, but...
Was it the guys who made Toja Mineral?
And they were like, holy shit, I forgot we made it.
Newly discovered.
That's a P4R gaming article right there.
It's like finding new elements.
Unfinished, unreleased copy of Toja Mineral found by creators of Toja Mineral.
Did we make this when we were drunk for like two years?
The dudes that found it got in touch with the creators and basically went, hey, we just
want to put this out there instead.
And the dudes were just like, look, you can't officially release this in any way because
it contains libraries that are copyrighted by Sega.
So you have to illegally release it.
Right?
And they basically are just like, look, you can't officially do this in any way, but
the only thing we own here is the IP and we're basically turning our heads the other way.
So the guy's like, all right, well, fuck it, here it is.
Someone stole this out of my bag and uploaded it to a torrent site with my user name.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Yeah.
It's like...
Made for Powers.
It's like the guys remaking the RE2 beta.
It's like nobody knows who they are.
All anyone knows is that they're from South America-ish.
Yeah.
And that there's a dude that doesn't know them that is putting up their videos.
Dude, because we were talking about this just the other day as we're leaving.
The whole like, if you're going to do a remake of something awesome or a ROM hack or whatever.
And you know some legal shit go down.
If it's not Valve, basically, don't say anything.
Yeah.
Don't tell anybody.
Just fucking make it and put it out.
And put it out.
The temptation is so high to give credit to yourself.
And bend yourselves, dude.
And also-
And you always burn your ways off.
And it also acts as a portfolio for yourself if you're trying to get real work.
Chrono resurrection.
Bid for power.
You're done.
Those are the best two examples.
But no, the Metroid 2 Remake.
So many things.
Resident Evil 1.5 is going to come out because there's nowhere to send a cease and desist too.
You said that like a year ago.
They're working on it.
You said it was going to come out in a year.
When I say that about other games, you say that's bullshit.
Yeah, you do.
I believe in these creepy dudes that I don't know.
And Tom Nobuya to Gaki standees.
Yeah!
Because I can totally see a situation in which someone's like, can I see the team working on it?
And he's got a sword and he's drunk.
He's like, they're working super hard.
You stay away from them.
Swishing it around.
Oh man.
You're in some stupid spinning thing with both his hands.
Yeah.
Like, no, you can't go back there.
You'll bother them.
No, just talk to me.
Talk to me.
And then you somehow get past and you open up a door and it's just a wall, a sheer wall of cookies.
Why do you keep saying come on?
Because that's the other part of me.
He looks like a cookie.
Oh, that's terrible.
He's got a big oatmeal face.
That's terrible.
It's melting oatmeal.
That's really bad.
I feel bad.
I don't.
Dude, I'm telling you.
It lands a lot to this man.
Stop it.
Stop it.
Stop it.
It's really personal.
Like, don't bring an Angelian into this.
You know how Pat gets around Evangelion.
Dude, you know how I get.
He's way too anime for this right now.
Super anime right now.
Pat just did the best little shrug emo thing.
It was like my Japanese anime.
Did one of those mushroom shaped things come out of his mouth?
Yeah.
I saw it.
It was huge.
I see it.
Yeah, okay.
We've all seen it.
The mystery is narrowing down on the fifth character.
Oh, yeah.
It's getting really specific.
It's going to be a doll, so stop caring.
It's going to be a model swap for Kami.
We've now got seven clues.
It's not going to be a doll.
We've now got seven clues.
Because they wouldn't do this for a doll.
They wouldn't make this so long.
You'll build it up for that.
Because they know people will be pissed.
Plus, then two of the dolls have already been playable.
And the rest are sprites already in the games.
So technically they've been in the games.
Not this doll.
Someone just posted it's going to be that fucking retarded Vega thing.
Yeah.
She's the doll.
I love how that's his description.
This dumb retarded Vega thing.
It's Kami with a mask and Vega's claw.
So to take it from the top, one, it's a Capcom character.
Two, it's not Azura or Bad Vox Art Mega Man.
Three, it's a lady.
That one's kind of mooted by a later one at this point.
Of course, but I'm just, you know, if you will.
Three, it's a lady.
This will mark the character's fighting game debut.
Yeah.
It's not a character that's onto your radar.
They'll be a perfect fit for the Street Fighter universe.
They're female and they're from the Street Fighter comics.
Now they don't specify whether they mean Udon or the Mega Man.
But it is safe to say they mean the Udon comic.
It's likely.
It's very likely they mean Udon.
I'd say it's safe to assume.
But what about Malibu?
Yeah, right.
What about the Ferret?
The Ferret.
Never forget the Ferret.
Did you shut the fuck up about the Ferret?
Not until I know who won between him and Yhonda.
He fits right in with the rest of them.
The Ferret, the Ferret totally won.
There, are you happy now?
Never.
Because if the question is who won in a fight between Blank and Yhonda, it's Blank.
Yhonda sucks.
I'm sorry, Mike Ross.
I'm super sorry.
I really like that comic of Yhonda and Ferret facing off in the bottom corner.
It says, featuring the Ardvark.
Was that the other character?
Yeah, I don't know.
Fucking Malibu.
So right now the high running theory is it's Ibuki's friend with the circle.
No.
Yeah, with the circle.
So it theoretically could be, again, Sakura's friend.
What, Hinata?
Hinata.
Who never fights.
Exactly.
It doesn't make any sense.
It's not Hinata.
She's from rival school.
She's already been in a fighting game.
Yeah.
And Chenli's cop friend.
From Alpha the movie?
Po.
You mean Nash?
Yeah, Po-lin or something.
Po-lin, exactly.
In Udon comics?
Yeah.
Talking about that's not in the comics.
I don't remember.
It's in the Chenli one.
Street Fighter Legends.
Legend of Chenli.
Legend of Chenli.
Okay, okay.
And then, of course, there's the manga, Possibility as well, where it could be Goken's daughter.
What about Fukiya?
She's not in the comics.
Stop talking about Fukiya.
Yeah, stop talking about Fukiya.
You just want to say that name again.
You just want to say that.
What about if you really like saying it?
You're smiling so shitty right now.
No, it's because Street Fighter Alpha Generations is bad.
It's not a comic.
It could still like, I know, the Final Fight fan, but it could still be a reticle.
Chinese ghost armies.
Underwater ghost base.
No, that can't be an entire character.
Yes, it can.
No, it can't.
Yes, way, way.
Oh, shit.
Basically, right?
I'd say it's Goken's daughter because it fits in with the Street Fighter universe so well.
Yeah.
Decaparate.
Decaparate.
It's not a doll.
Decaparate is actually the best.
She's not a doll, and if it were a Buki's friend or a...
That'd just be lame.
I don't know.
I don't think they'd build it up in the movie because that doesn't look good.
Goken's daughter could be cool.
They probably won't be.
Rose's mom could also be cool.
Lisa Lisa?
Yeah.
Yeah.
You just want Lisa Lisa thrown in the fucking game?
I don't...
Lisa Lisa more.
I don't believe she's in the comics.
Yeah, she's totally in the comics.
And what?
She's fighting Ben Bison's flashback.
Oh, yeah.
She's got the little turban or something.
She's got some sort of headwinds.
Goken's daughter could be cool as long as she is in the show.
Because that would be the worst thing ever.
Which she wouldn't be.
Why bother?
Give me an alternate Makoto, basically.
Yes.
Absolutely.
So different.
Yeah.
Like the Ken to Ryu's Makoto.
Girl who was raised by a guy who does the fights.
And then she's like Ryu and Ken, why didn't you just ask me where my dad was?
He was just over there asleep for ten years.
I...
Oh wait, I guess I must have fallen asleep.
And then Akuma's like, oh, remember when I was going to kill all the Ansetsookin practitioners?
Good times.
I forgot that you existed even though you were in the house.
And how come you didn't want any revenge for the last forever?
Because he's a nice guy.
She was taking care of him in the coma.
She was doing it for college.
Yeah.
I was going to say, I think I said this before, is that Juri is fucking awesome.
I really like Juri.
It'd be cool if they have another personality, evil lady, because the dolls are boring.
Another Jojo character.
It's kind of nuts how bad the dolls are, but how good Juri is.
Well, here's the interesting thing.
Not all the dolls are terrible.
Yeah, all the ones in the games.
Don't bring up the Chinese ones that fight Fei Long in Hong Kong.
Yeah, yeah.
Because they were purely invented by the comics in the world.
That's not what I was going to say.
The reason they're cool is because they don't have the stupid doll outfit.
I was going to say Julia.
Oh, Julia.
Specifically Hawks Girlfriend.
Specifically Julia, yeah.
Because she has the Alandor Dives that all day.
And she has the Arrow Kick, which is not Kami, you know?
Like Juri is just another Kami, sure.
But Juri is actually different and cool.
Are you referring to Juri or Julia?
Because those are two different characters.
Yeah, it's confusing.
No, they're not.
Juri is the Brunette.
And then Juri is the Hawks Girlfriend.
Guess what?
What?
Oh, they're the same character?
Yeah.
God damn it.
Guess why he wants revenge?
Extra hard.
Oh, well, Juri and Alpha.
Well, because the Bison's encroaching on his land and his people.
But also, he took his girlfriend and turned her into a doll.
So, well, then in Super and Turbo, it's just like you're still encroaching on my land.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Street Fighter, you really need to back the fuck up.
Hey, Street Fighter 5, can we have a different roster that includes old versions of some of these characters?
I want old ones.
Like Gile in his 50s.
Oh, that's awesome.
And he's like, yeah.
Yes, but no.
Damn it, we'll never get new characters.
Well, there's a pretty cool post I saw that kind of sums it up well in that you want to see the older Ryu,
you want to see the older Sakura, we all do.
I don't want to see older Sakura.
I want to see older Sakura.
Yeah, I do.
I see younger Sakura.
There's older Udon Sakura training with Ryu where they're sitting around that fire, that one piece of art,
and you're like, fuck, she looks awesome.
I want to see what happens to Ryu after he trains with Oro.
I want to see Dan with his arm in a sling like Oro.
Yeah!
Well, you can't go too far into the future, otherwise you get like kind of...
Dead go-kits.
No, no, you get Chubby Mom Sakura that has a kid in Marvel vs. Street Fighter.
I want to see a male master that's a thousand times more confident than Ken.
I want to see all nine of Hakan's daughters as a tag team.
Sure.
But here's the problem.
The reason why we'll never, not that we'll never see these things, but why we didn't see these things with 4
is because no matter how much Capcom won't admit it, 4 is a reboot of Street Fighter.
Yeah.
And the first things they wanted to do...
It's the new Street Fighter 2.
It's the new...
They needed to bring back the old players and the last time the old players saw Street Fighter,
they were like...
And the fact that they threw it in between two and three as a storyline placement is just
bullshit for anyone that used to play.
It's really just, we're rebooting this universe and we don't care about the ages of these characters.
Because look, Ibuki and Makoto are standing around with dead characters.
You know?
Ibuki is standing next to Sakura who's wearing high school gear.
And Gen who's dead.
No.
By that time.
No.
By that time.
He never dies.
He super dies.
He dies.
He gets sent to hell and then dies of cancer and then gets up because he was unconscious.
But then he dies off camera in the 20 years it takes to...
I think we said the only Capcom characters ever died is Charlie.
And even that...
And even that it wasn't really...
It took three times!
It tried really hard.
It wasn't great.
It didn't take.
But yeah, that's it.
It just four is a reboot but they don't want to say it.
That dude can kick a Sonic Boom!
No wonder he's...
Actually, he's considered one of the best and most strongest characters in the universe.
He can kick a Sonic Boom!
He can shoot a Sonic Boom with one arm.
He can do a one-legged flash kick.
Yeah.
And he also says Samusho!
So, Charlie Oro, Akuma being like the god tier characters in that universe.
Charlie's the only person that could fight Bison just fight him directly.
Just fight him!
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, no no no.
Bison's using all his magic nonsense and Akuma does his magic nonsense.
But Charlie just fought Bison!
And he flash kicked a cliff.
Yeah.
And just cut it in half.
He finally just did it.
A lot of people don't like those Udon comics
but some of the things they did with Charlie and Cody are the best.
Sure, but I was going to say even before like...
Cody keeps beating him every time.
Dude, here's what I was about to say.
And this is not...
Well, hold on!
Wait, this is not even...
Everyone stop getting hyped so Willie can dehype us.
No, this is not dehyping you.
This is getting you more hyped.
Because everything we just said existed before the Udon comics were out there
including the fact that Cody is one of the strongest characters in that universe.
He cuffs himself for fun.
And the reasons why are because he has no training or practice.
All he does is brawl and he teaches himself.
And that's all he does.
And he never refined it.
But if he ever did his potential would be the most ridiculous thing.
I remember somebody asked me when you know talking about the Cody
beats up Ryu in the Street Fighter comics.
Like, when the fuck did Cody learn how to do wind powers with criminal upper?
It's like, no, you don't get it.
He's punching so hard with that uppercut that he is forming a typhoon.
Plus the only games he did that were after Final Fight 1.
So it basically makes sense.
Cody's raw fighting potential is so dumb high
that the only reason why he's not one of the best in the entire series
is because he just doesn't give a fuck.
You know?
It's your whatever, take your anime shonen tropes
and take the character that's like,
you're Ken Pachy or you're Rock Lee.
I don't have any talent except for...
I might as well just handcuff myself
and then still totally win all my fights.
Right?
Yeah, that's nuts.
I want to see Cody with no cuffs
and a knife against Shin Akuma.
I want to see that too.
And Oro with both arms out.
Yeah, Oro with both arms out.
And Charlie brought back from the dead, why not?
That could be a character action game.
I can't believe that the one character that dies
is like the strongest character.
He was too strong.
You couldn't keep him around in the story.
You can't have Charlie just walking around
and then also have villains.
Yeah, I know.
But it's also the idea that like,
Gile is like a super big tough guy in that world and shit
and it's like the guy who fucking taught him
how to do that needs to be that much better.
Oh, we've talked a lot about Street Fighter 2.
I remember in Street Fighter 2 V, they turned Charlie into a...
They got it.
They turned Charlie into a scientist nerd.
And he turned into Blanka.
That's always been the weirdest.
It's always...
What's interesting too is that like,
Dalsim is not the most powerful, but he's the wisest.
So like, he can unlock your potential
just by not being the strongest.
I really, really liked it.
I hate comics, but I did read those Street Fighter ones.
I did enjoy them.
And I think my favorite part is that they changed
the end of Street Fighter 2 to Dalsim making it to the finals.
And then...
And then...
No, Dalsim gets to the semi-finals
and then just goes to hang out with Bison
and scares the shit out of Bison
because Bison doesn't understand yoga.
And Dalsim's teleporting all over
and Bison's going nuts, and then Dalsim just leaves.
Yeah.
It's like, ah, Bison, you're pretty evil,
but you're not worth all this crap.
Namaste.
Oh.
Other bits.
Dalsim's awesome.
Okay, 1.1. Finally here.
1.1.
Thunder been nerfed.
It's actually funny that you said that
because everyone has been touched except for Thunder.
Have they been buffed and Thunder's been left alone?
No.
Wow.
They've been nerfed because...
Oh, yeah.
Well, there's a couple of things.
Everyone got like one change.
Everyone got about one change.
Except Thunder.
Most of the changes were system things.
But Thunder got approximately the same amount.
No, you didn't...
You know what, if you round it up...
Yeah, you round it up.
Fucking wise ass over here.
You know, we're playing the new version at Magfest.
Sure, and so because, you know,
like you guys find delayed wake up
and red focus so boring, let's not focus on the details.
Let's just go over the gloss, right?
Does that guard break?
The top level stuff is there's costumes
for, there's the classic orchids.
Terrible.
The classic orchid, and you can hack it
to get classic Jago as well.
It's not supposed to actually hack.
I'm using the term...
You press some buttons, you back up.
I really mean you can just find the easy bug
that's there and get Jago.
You're not supposed to get it.
Yep.
So everyone that's like,
man, fuck these stupid new edgy designs,
they're awful, the classics are so much better.
Go look at Jago, you stupid shit!
He looks awful!
The people that said that go,
no, they made it wrong!
He looks cool!
They weren't true to the original design
by making it identical.
There's too many rips in his clothes.
It's all skinny and tight.
He looks like a backup dancer
for a fucking like,
MCA.
That's what happens when you tie your game's art style
to a specific place in time.
Like, fuck you people that say that shit.
He looks like a dude that like Billy Blanks
beats up in one of his movies.
And that black cyborg movie
that we've never got to watch.
Yeah, absolutely.
And then you get like,
fucking like 80s dance music video,
Orchid, which is a classic,
sure, you know and everything,
but it's just when you look at it now,
it's like, man, that's dated.
It's super dated.
You know what's dated? Not dated.
Man with ghee.
Whatever.
Whatever. Dude with a ghee with a red headband.
You know what else isn't dated?
Anyone in King of Fighters,
because they changed their looks over time.
They wear different clothes.
Like Q, original Q, now dated as fuck.
Of course.
But not Yuri!
So that's why he stayed the same the whole time.
He changed.
After that one time, he's coming back though.
He changed though.
No, but Yuri changed not only his clothes,
but he changed his hair.
Oh, right.
They cut his hair.
The change that I always forget,
because I didn't play until 98.
Because that's the 94 and 95 and whatnot.
You had Kyo with the really long trunks hair,
kind of thing.
And Yuri with the bouffant,
not bouffant.
Papador.
Papador, like regent type thing going out there.
And then they just cut that shit down
to like normal J-pop star hair, you know?
But anyway, yeah, I know.
It shifts in for your viewing pleasure,
and kind of in as a point to make everyone
shut up about the new designs by,
by, you know, virtue of seeing them
next to the old ones.
Dude, Orchid looks awful.
Orchid, I saw Orchid,
looks fucking terrible.
Unbelievable.
And not only that,
but like I guess in a future patch,
we'll have the just the straight up
alternate costumes.
Sure.
Like the costume crazy.
Yeah, of course.
Oh my God, it's amazing.
And Spinals this month.
Yeah, sure.
Spinals the coolest.
All Sediras are going to look great.
Can't wait for this.
The fucking skeleton.
And the other notable bit about this patch.
He's a dumb skeleton.
I love him.
The other notable bit about this patch
is the free character has now rotated.
It's a save rule.
Yeah, cool.
So they're doing it.
They're totally doing it.
They're getting there.
I want to ask,
do you think they're going to take a stab at it
and make Sedira's first costume a classic costume?
No.
No, it's alternate.
They're like punk.
They've already kind of shown it in the original.
Like they're going to try to make her like a folk.
What, a Sedira existed back in the day?
Yeah, exactly.
I know what you mean.
I'd love to see it take off.
No, because Virtua Fighter did that.
Right?
With the demake mode that you can play in five.
That mode was terrible.
Where you can go back and use the new characters
as if they were in VF1 and 2.
Yeah, so no, only VF1.
Only VF1, which is why it was terrible,
because everyone forgets that VF1 was fucking awful.
Well, sure.
Now you get the fun of seeing like Vanessa and Go as...
VF1 is so bad.
Holy shit.
Elblaze.
Elblaze.
Start running now.
I've got the advantage.
You've got nothing.
My body is an unstoppable weapon.
I love him so much.
Just do quotes on that.
I can't believe that those voice actors have not been improved ever.
No, I thought you were...
The voice actor for Neon is the same one since like 96.
And he's still awful.
I don't make it a habit to fight the elderly.
That quote is still there.
No, they changed it.
Now they made it.
I don't make allowances for old men.
Oh my God.
It's just as bad as it always was.
I thought you were going to say,
I can't believe the voice actors for Virtual Fire have not been fired.
Oh my God.
Jackie is so awful.
Jackie and Leon are the two worst by far.
All the folks that speak Japanese, they're fine.
Akira, fine.
Can you grunt just to the mic?
Wolf sounds dumb, but it works because he's a pro wrestler.
Yeah, sure.
Right? Vanessa? Fine.
Well, Jeffrey just heard something.
I forgot about Jeffrey.
Yeah, you did.
That dude's awesome.
Yeah.
Awesome.
He doesn't have Splash Mountain anymore.
Splash Mountain!
It's Downford, Downford Punch Kick.
It's the one where he does a crucifix file driver.
Okay.
And he doesn't have a name.
Which sucks.
Sure.
Fucking Future of Virtual Fighter, my ass, December 26th.
Oh yeah, I wrote that Facebook post, man.
Holy fucking shit!
Second Announcement, you're going to find out about the Future of Virtual Fighter on December 26th,
back in, like, fucking October.
And what was it?
The soundtrack.
The soundtrack.
Two shirts.
Two new shirts.
Yeah.
And a soundtrack.
Oh my god.
Sounds like the Future of Me.
It'll be at AOU again.
That's where the only place they show off new virtual fights.
Like, that's in case like the Future is now, and like,
Virtual Fighter's like, no, the Future was yesterday.
The Future is shirts and soundtracks.
Don't bother with the Future, guys.
Oh.
Hey, I didn't expect this, but apparently.
So yeah, Bayo anime, right?
That thing's happening?
Yeah.
Just getting a manga too.
Oh, cool.
I'll read that.
Yeah.
Not much to go on, but.
What's it called?
It's Bayonetta the Manga.
Bayonetta Bloody Fate Manga.
Are you sure you didn't just, like, accidentally read that they were going to put out a dojin?
Going to?
You mean they already have it?
An age dojin.
What's the, um, the dojin?
Eleven?
No.
I'm going to say, what came with No More Heroes?
An erotic comic.
Erotic book?
Wasn't it that?
Erotic folders?
Erotic something, and it wasn't.
It was not erotic at all.
It was not erotic at all.
I was surprised.
I was disappointed.
Matt said is he spit his tooth based on?
Matt said he spat suit of 51 out to the floor.
Super not at all.
Yeah, that's about right.
Yeah.
That doesn't need any editing.
No, not at all.
I do believe.
I do believe.
It might just be.
Letter time.
Oh, shit!
It's letter time.
If you have some letters of the electronic variety, and you want to send them to us,
be they saying, hey guys, your hair looks nice, or, hey, what about the PS1 or something?
You should send them to superbestfriendcastatgmail.com.
One more time?
That's superbestfriendcastatgmail.com.
Or, if you want to send us stuff, be that-
Not bombs!
Not animals.
Or, or Madoka.
But physical stuff.
Please, Madoka.
You can send it to-
No Madoka bombs, please.
Superbestfriends, PO Box 56051, Alexis Nihon, Montreal, Quebec.
They'll figure it out.
Yep.
I noticed you're holding a package in your hand.
I am, in fact.
But we will reveal this later.
Is that the one we-
This is one that-
Is that the dangerous one?
Is that the bomb?
This is the first one we got that is totally dangerous.
And a good example of what not to send in the mail.
To anyone.
Do not send out the bomb.
Yeah, sure.
Especially don't send it to us.
We'll reveal it at another time.
At a later day.
At a later day.
When we put it inside the bomb proof box.
Please look, please be excited.
What kind of questions we got this week, Willie?
I imagine a bunch of them are going to be like, hey, I met you guys at MagFest.
I secretly hate you.
I love you.
I love you.
They didn't seem to hate us.
That's why it's a secret.
Alright.
Alright.
Gotcha.
Not really.
What a trick.
Let's do some quickies.
Let's do some quickies.
Esteban wants to know who your favorite monster from Monster Hunter is.
Me?
Got to be you and Liam.
Zanogre's pretty way up there.
Fuck.
What the fuck's it called?
The one that's like a rabbit.
A legumbi.
A rabbit-edge.
Legumbi.
I love the legumbi.
You like legumbi?
He's so cute.
I have an answer.
Let's talk about Ratholos.
Everybody likes Ratholos.
Ratholos and Tigrex.
Can we not say Ratholos or Tigrex?
Tigrex?
I haven't seen him yet.
Matt has an answer.
What's your answer?
What is it?
I like Sir Omnomnom.
Yeah.
That's from Lost Planet.
Well, he looks like he's from Monster Hunter.
Yeah.
So that makes the answer valid.
Big fan of Zanogre.
Big fan of the Ivory, the Geikers.
Just pick one.
Pick a favorite.
Say it.
The favorite?
Go.
And we move on.
I said fast one.
Zanogre.
Zanogre.
Super cool.
Super cool.
Yeah.
Legomdi.
Good.
All right.
He's an electric werewolf.
All right.
We're going to speed it up.
Speed it up.
Speed it up.
I don't even know what that is.
This looks like a WarioWare.
Tornado Jones wants to know.
Whoa.
That's not his real name.
Says you.
That's a really cool name.
He's probably a UFC fighter.
Yo.
It's Mega Man's 20th anniversary.
Oh, shit.
It's your favorite robot master from Mega Man and Mega Man X.
Cloudman.
Mega Man X.
He's not even a real man.
Go.
From Mega Man X.
Mega Man and Mega Man X.
Series.
The series.
The series.
The entire series.
The whole series.
All of them.
The entire Mega Man series.
And the entire Mega Man X series.
Who's your favorite robot master?
That's tough.
Robot master in Mega Man and your favorite maverick.
That's super tough.
Oh, God.
I like Airman because of the song.
Sure.
Airman's music is super good.
Airman's sick.
But Airman himself.
He's awesome.
That's your pick.
Dude, they're all the same.
Okay.
No.
Okay.
From X.
It's Magma Dragoon.
That's a good one.
And from the originals.
It's.
Pick up.
Questions.
That's a good one too.
They all kind of run together in the originals.
I like Google Maps.
I like Quick Man.
Sure.
Yeah.
He's cool.
That's cool.
I have a couple of favorites in the original series.
I like Wood Man.
Sure.
Snake Man.
Skull Man.
Pick a favorite.
It's Skull Man.
It's got to be Skull Man.
Wood Man.
It's too hard in here.
It's Skull Man.
It's Skull Man.
It's an X Storm Eagle and Neon Tiger.
Pick one.
Neon Tiger.
That's a good one too.
I only hate his Japanese version where he's called Shining Tiger.
That's really stupid.
Who'd you ditch?
Magma Dragoon.
You ditched Magma Dragoon.
You ditched Flamestag as well.
Flamestag.
Shit.
Yeah.
He's got the coolest name and I don't think he's all that great.
My favorites.
Magma Dragoon plays like Ken.
Yeah.
He's just a fucking Street Fighter character.
They just fucking ripped his brain out, wiped his memory and shoved it in a dragon thing.
Oh, so cool.
My favorites.
Easily.
My favorite robot master is Crash Man.
He's the sickest.
Crash Man.
Love Crash Man.
The sound his bones make.
Is it because you have to crash?
Are you just saying that because half the time that you introduce the letter segment,
you do it to the theme of Video and Arcade Top 10.
Which is also.
The Crash Man theme.
Yeah.
Not bad.
That's how you knew that show was legit.
Favorite Maverick?
Storm Eagle.
Easily.
Absolutely.
And I'm going to say fuck you for cutting it off there.
I want to go one step further.
Net Navies?
No.
My favorite, my favorite blast from Mega Man Zero series is Fefnir.
Fefnir.
Is that the green one with the swords?
No.
Damn.
That was the heavy with the big arm thing.
I like Stealth Man from Mega Man Battle Network.
I'll shut up.
What?
He's allowed to go to zero.
No one said Guts Man or Shadow Man.
That's a shame.
I like Basel.
I like Guts Man's ass.
I know Bas isn't.
It's pretty luxurious.
Budman is.
It's Budman.
Budman's just curious.
I don't laugh about that all night.
He's like.
Hey, it's Budman.
No, I'm going to laugh at you laughing all night.
It feels like a strong bad joke.
Hey, Budman.
How you doing, Budman?
He's like, hey guys, for Christmas I got a Galaxy Note 3 and I was just wondering.
Those are good.
What kind of phones you guys have?
I have an iPhone 4.
I have an S3.
iPhone.
I just, after going through a shitty ass Windows phone.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
I rocked it for like a week and I was just raging.
Every single person I know who got a Windows phone had them all and were like, hey, this
isn't so bad and then a day later they would get back to me and be like, this is the worst
piece of technology I've ever used.
There was someone in MagFest that was taking our photo with a Windows phone when he told
another fan, ah, I've got this Windows phone.
So I go, another guy went, I'm sorry.
Because the reason is why.
It's just because it looks nice.
It's nice with clean shapes sliding all over the place, smooth jazz in your hands.
Fine.
And then just, ah, the moment.
I had an iPhone 4 for a while and I switched to the S3.
I'm really, really happy with it.
I like the ability to drag music into a folder.
Which I fucking, like, the iPhone.
Proprietary bullshit.
The iPhone, there's some stuff about it I like better, but iTunes is my most hated
program.
Yeah, iTunes sucks.
Proprietary bullshit.
Of course.
But hey, you should still check out our podcast on it though if you get the chance.
It's a great service.
I used it because I had to.
No, but, um, right.
No, no, I totally agree.
Yeah, there's the iTunes guys listening to this right now.
Oh, yeah.
Cut them.
Well, hey, we made it to their list of content, so let's run.
No, I honestly, like, just didn't even want to get an iPhone.
Steve Jobs is an asshole.
I just submitted into getting one because I was like, you know what?
At least it's just going to fucking work.
I like the ease of use.
You know?
Like I want to fucking phone someone.
I switch from the iPhone to the Android because they came out Google Maps.
They got rid of Google Maps and I take the bus everywhere.
And every once in a while, like some kind of crazy piece of technology app comes out
and goes like, hey, look, you can like hold up your phone to this sign.
It translates the language live in front of you.
All phones do that.
Word lens or shit.
Word lens, yeah.
That's just magic.
It's worthless, but it's magic.
It's awesome.
Yeah.
I was at a partner's where I'm like Captain America, Japanese shirt, and someone says,
what the fuck does that say?
I'm like, I'm not sure.
I'm sure it says Captain America or it probably says, fuck you, Gaijin or something like that.
And he does it.
It says Captain New American New.
That's what my phone is telling me.
Awesome.
Super hyped.
Nice.
Nice.
Thanks for the question.
Sure.
Lionel.
Hey, Bodman.
Bodman.
Um, I've been inspired by Willie's Biker Mice Hate.
Oh, wow.
Oh, I wonder who picked this question.
As he ignores the 500 Ys.
He picks all the questions.
He picks all the questions.
If you let me fucking finish, this is not even a question I'm going to take part in.
Come on.
It's for you guys.
Come on.
Just read the thing and instead of getting into it, just be a man and be bigger than us.
Lionel wants to know if any of you guys experienced similar levels of hatred.
For old cartoons that you that.
Street Sharks.
Not counting you because I step back on this question.
I think that doesn't count.
What a self-attention.
Street Sharks.
Yeah.
That's the thing at this point.
Street Sharks is already known.
Street Sharks is known Khaleesi.
Yeah, it really is.
That doesn't make it not the, because everything you hit about Biker Mice is the same but worse
with Street Sharks.
100%.
Old cartoons.
I don't know.
I didn't watch a lot of cartoons when I was young.
But new cartoons are a piece of shit most of the time.
Just say Spider Writers and we'll call it a day.
Spider Writers is really bad.
Spider Writers is really bad.
I'm going to go with Spider Writers.
Good.
Thanks for that one.
You're welcome.
G.I. Joe Extreme.
Extreme Ghostbusters is the worst shit ever.
Okay.
Because G.I. Joe Extreme had a cool guy.
He had two stupid guys.
Just some white dude who's a ninja.
G.I. Joe Extreme had J. Lee style hyper-dark art and it had a cool intro.
Yeah, a really cool intro.
Also bullets.
Also bullets, not lasers.
True.
True, very true.
Come on.
Did cops have bullets or lasers?
It would change.
Sometimes they would have bullets and sometimes they would have lasers.
Man, cops was awesome.
Cops holds up.
I have the entire series.
Cops was fucking radical.
Bring cops back.
Yeah, unironic.
Project cops.
What's it going to be?
Cops.
Sure.
There's one.
Nice.
I'm trying to read his name.
I'm trying to read his name.
Jirunu X.
You just created a horrible shame.
S rank reading.
That's pretty good, Bunman.
See, I told you you can't read.
It says, with how much time you guys...
It says Jimmy.
You're reading nothing.
Yes.
With how much time you guys spend in each other's houses.
Have you ever talked about moving in with each other to a larger apartment or even a house?
If so, what prevents it?
How about the end of the channel?
Okay, so here's an example that counts.
I don't know, you guys just got back from MAGFEST.
You may have encountered a similar thing.
When I went to E3, we spent every single minute of every single day together for like four and a half days.
Precious memories.
Okay, the plane over there was like six hours.
Everything to do with going there.
We didn't want to split up.
It was really six hours more than that.
We're in like a foreign country.
It's LA's big.
We didn't want to get lost.
So we spent every minute together that we weren't like going potty in the bathtub.
Yeah.
Okay?
Even then.
The plane trip back.
We hated each other so much.
You barely talked.
You were such a bitch.
You were so sick of me and I totally can't blame you.
Okay?
Like, we're all good friends, but we have to hang out for more than five hours.
Well, here's five hours.
Here's a general rule is that if you have a best friend and you move in together, it's a high likelihood you will not be best friends.
That's why you should never move in with your girlfriend or boyfriend.
It's not even that.
It's also the possibility that you just will not have anything to say anymore.
Most of your shit's just tired.
You're just maybe like dishes, who's turn is it?
Dude, clean up your shit and that's all it's going to be.
I can't live with other people.
Yeah, sure.
Because then there's humans in my house.
Does anyone not remember the first how it got blighted pat where I freaked out for almost 20 minutes?
Yeah.
The dudes came in my home.
Yeah.
The idea of living with someone else, anyone else, be they my best friend or girlfriend or a wife or whatever.
Ugh!
Gross!
The dog gets a free pass.
Dog gets a free pass.
Yeah.
Dogs are great.
The thing that can just shit on your stuff gets a free pass.
And destroy your stuff.
Yeah, but at least it won't talk.
Right.
Yeah, no, it's just that would just bring about the end of the channel.
It would eventually end in murder.
I don't know how the ad...
I can barely stand staring at Liam's face at work all day.
Should we stare at him?
Should we stare at him?
Oh, likewise, asshole.
I totally live with Liam, but you guys know.
Yeah, I sleep at your house half the week.
Yeah, you sleep so early, like half the time.
We stay up late watching Game Center.
Yeah.
It's fun shit.
Move in in a little bit more.
Don't drop the proposal.
Perhaps then I'll end the show.
No.
Ugh.
Matt can't get all these Liam's put away.
So no, we've never thought about it.
No.
It's the worst idea.
I don't know how the FGTV guys do it.
Do they?
Don't they?
Do they?
Like PRRog and all those guys?
Uh, they have training houses.
Oh, it's just a training house.
Yeah.
Oh, for when they're big grown-ups.
That is the coolest sounding thing for the dumbest blame-as-shit-out.
Yeah.
Except for when you make thousands of dollars.
Oh, sure, but it doesn't make it sound...
I thought they all say that.
It doesn't make it any less cool.
I agree.
I mean, more cool.
I agree.
It's like you come in.
It's like a day camp.
You crash and chill.
We should buy a training house.
It's like training house sounds like Master Roshi's Island.
Like the Kame house.
When it's just dudes playing Marvel.
But that's perfect.
Because when we actually have to do a play-through, we can all scream in unison,
This is what we train for!
Exactly.
We already used the term hyperbolic time chamber.
Yes, true.
Weighted clothing for playthroughs.
Yeah.
When Gleam pulls the gloves off, you're strapped, strapped.
Yeah.
Fun.
Fun, yeah.
What's coming up on the channel, guys?
Mysteries.
Magfest coverage, for sure.
At least one video this week.
And mostly you get the panel thing up this week, too.
Remember?
That's not guaranteed.
Remember last week, Willie, when I said to this question that there was going to be
a moment in I Have No Mouth that was so shocking that it would render me near-speechless?
Mm-hmm.
Well, I didn't count the episodes right, so that'll be this week.
Oh.
Okay.
Probably.
Probably.
Maybe.
Yeah.
So more screams coming, more yakuza's coming.
Is more disaster coming right now?
We're going to do more disaster this week.
Disaster might be delayed a moment due to technical shenanigans.
Sure.
But another thing too, like apologies to those who are undergoing the optical illusion
that things are going slowly when they're really not.
Oh.
It's just that there's, like, three playthroughs happening with progress going on
each at the same time.
It's almost as if it's never been more busy.
Scream will be done relatively quickly.
It's a short game.
But it's game-pacing that's making people get a little antsy.
Yeah.
But it's fine.
It's fine.
I remember when I, and this is not to disparage anybody who wants longer episodes,
but on the very first comment I saw on the very first episode of I Have No Mouth
and I'm a Scream, was these episodes need to be at least 45 minutes long.
Why?
Yeah.
Because it's point and click.
Because it's plodding.
And, like, dudes, there's, I gotta, I gotta work on these.
Yeah.
They gotta go up.
Yeah.
It's kind of like how people are hoping for this, like, to be a three-hour video,
but I can somehow edit and get up in the next album.
Hey, why can't you do it?
Gotta edit all that parts out where somebody shits their pants.
Why can't you do it?
Hey, where's the wolf from our next episode too?
Yeah, where's the wolf from our next episode too?
Okay, got it.
We already addressed it.
We already addressed it.
We already addressed this.
Well, I know, but, like, this is a different thing.
No, he's asking Telltale that.
Yeah.
Telltale.
Telltale.
Where's it at?
Because I'm asking that.
I don't even want to start it when I don't know if the episodes are going to be, like,
four months from now.
Jesus Christ, guys.
What are you going to port bayonet?
It's a real console.
Yeah.
Well, the Zybats will get right on there.
We're on it.
I saw those on your Cliff Notes for Magfest.
Yeah.
I'm sure someone will mod it onto a real console soon.
Yeah, Tiger Electronics.
Yeah.
Right next to the Doug sequel.
The Doug button.
No, right next to the Doug button.
What does the Doug button do?
Everything.
Ah, see you guys next week.
Continue.