Castle Super Beast - SBFC 026: Drenched in Liam Milk
Episode Date: February 4, 2014Xbone leaks, Xbone leaks EVERYWHERE. We cover the rumor mill and discuss dead game studios like Dontnod, dead actors like Hoffman, dead franchises like Duke Nukem, ARMCHAIR CEO and unconventional stor...ytelling methods in gaming. Â
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Did you guys get your Fourswords anniversary?
Yeah, I got it back when I was an ambassador.
Me too.
Okay.
Did you get it?
I got my Fourswords anniversary.
Good.
How time?
Yeah, well shit.
If you didn't get it, then you had up to this weekend to get it.
Is it too late now?
It's too late now.
It's super too late.
It's super too late.
So why are you bringing it up now?
You bad?
Because I'm checking if you guys got it.
For Zelda fans, for Zelda fans who didn't catch up, like now they just feel bad.
So good.
Can you even buy Fourswords Adventure on the...
No.
No, not now.
It's a really bad Fourswords anniversary.
It's a free thing for a limited time only.
Or you can go get your GBA version from way back when.
I will.
Which is what I bought.
But it doesn't have as much content either.
No.
That's true.
I'd rather the stuff didn't exist.
Good job, Nintendo.
Yeah, stop giving away free games, assholes.
You jerks.
Although now that all four of us have it, we should probably play it for fun sometime.
Yeah, for fun.
Do you ever play games for fun anymore?
I can't remember.
Every single time I ever talk to you or Matt about, hey, did you guys play Fourswords?
I always got like a, look with a story that would always almost end in murder.
Because we played with Dan or Josh.
Oh yeah, and Wendell.
And Wendell.
And Wendell.
And Wendell.
Any one of those fuckers just ends the night in tears.
Just get the ruby!
Just get the ruby!
No, no, you say that to yourself.
Yeah.
Crystal Chronicles would get bad enough.
Crystal Chronicles.
But Fourswords...
Crystal Chronicles is banned in certain countries.
Man, rightfully so.
Fucking...
You...
I have to hold the pot!
Fucking bullshit!
That game is!
The game of death.
The Lutees and the...
The Yooks.
The Yooks.
The Selkies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Don't act like you don't remember.
I don't.
I don't either.
All I know is all I remember is holding the pot.
Oh, are your batteries running out?
You fucked the whole game up.
Good job.
We all can't play now.
I can't remember if it needed batteries or if it just sucked power from the GameCube.
I know.
You needed batteries for your GBA.
Did you?
Yep.
Because it happened to us all the time.
Goddamn genius design decision.
And I got four link cables.
I handed them out to my friends.
Of course.
We all did.
I didn't.
I've always wanted to set up four GameCubes with four Game Boy players and four GameCube
controllers and hook them all up to a set of TVs to another GameCube.
You have a GameCube on a big screen with four-shorts adventures.
You are a madman.
Am I mad?
Yes!
Did it work?
I want to.
Well, you're a madman.
This is a thousand-dollar project.
I guess you'd have to have a house to put all this stuff in.
Of course.
Thanks, Nintendo.
I wanted to play it in the park.
On my iPhone.
Welcome to Episode 26.
See, that's interesting because you started to give up on the podcast numbering and then
when I showed you up by knowing the number, now we're back to...
That's not why I'm back to the number.
Oh, that's why.
There's a very good reason.
Oh, what's the reason?
Someone sent me an email going, hey, I know it's trivial, but do you mind saying the number?
It helps.
It helps know what I'm listening to.
Yes.
I think he just goes through his list on his iPad.
It's true.
Yeah, you lazy bastard.
So I'm doing it for that guy, not for you.
Shit, Dick.
That's true.
That's a convenient excuse you've created.
All right.
We're in there.
Don't call me a shit, Dick.
You'd hope you momed that, probably.
But it's full of shit.
It's all shitty.
It's full of shit.
My dick has shit in it.
Within the contents.
If you don't like it, stop putting it there.
No.
Liam, how was your week?
It was good.
Nice.
I played through Vanshee's Last Cry the whole way.
You beat it.
It's fucking shenanigans.
It's great.
I heard that the New Game Plus is pure jokes.
It's nuts.
It doesn't turn into like a weird teenage sex romp.
Oh, various things.
What does it?
It turns into a variety of nodding.
This podcast.
No, it will.
Your first play through Vanshee's Last Cry.
It's super dark and there's a killer.
It's kind of hackneyed because it was written back
in the early 90s.
But it's still pretty engaging and gripping.
The ending's a bit trivial.
After that, you unlock a bunch of alternate paths.
Shit just gets bananas.
I don't want to spoil it for anyone.
I've seen at least four different story types
come out of it other than horror.
That's pretty cool because the other games
from...
You mean the Zero Escape series?
The Zero Escape series, yes.
Are by different guys, by the way.
Right, but they also are super serious.
And super jokes.
We're seriously joking.
But having a Jokey New Game Plus is a fun thing.
That's a good reason to play through again.
Dan Ganronpa is getting that same thing
added to it for the new release.
I can't wait for that.
That's coming out soon.
Yes, it is.
Vanshee's Last Cry.
It's on iOS now.
It's really good.
It's coming to Android soon-ish.
It's got 43 endings.
I haven't cracked even half of those.
I never finished VLR.
I should finish VLR.
You should finish VLR.
Game of the Year last year.
Any reason you can think of that they wouldn't throw it up
on the eShop?
They never made it for the 3DS.
Yeah, I'm saying like, do you think it would be
like an easy quick port?
Well, no, because they'd have to make a game.
They'd have to literally build it.
From scratch.
I think they should.
Frankly, I think they should put it on everything.
But there are reasons.
How many hours would you say to get through?
Nothing.
Like an hour and a half.
Okay.
Because it's one of those games also that you get to the end
and you're going to get a bad end.
And you're going to get a bad end until you crack it.
And it's not like Zero Escape or, well the Zero Escape series,
where you get a bad end and then you know it's a bad end
and you just go back around and do a different channel.
There's no chart.
They don't show you the path.
No, you've got to figure it out.
That's crazy.
And there's a point where you're literally like, who done it?
There's a little text entry screen and it's like, who done it?
Because Zero Escape was like, fast forward to the branch.
Now go the other way.
Oh, such a good game.
Yeah, it's really good.
And fucking jokes after you beat the game.
Right on.
Right on.
Not going to spoil everything, but there's a fucking spy story
as one of the other ones.
It turns into spy fiction.
You just told...
Wait, it turns into spy fiction?
Yes.
With Forrest Cason, the scientist?
Yes.
No.
No.
But it's great.
It's so fucking crazy.
That name is awesome.
I know.
And it was wasted on spy fiction.
Don't bring this game up to me.
Other than that...
I have a huge pass with that game.
No, I've just been playing Gal-Gun a lot.
God.
I saw some of that.
It's the game that never stops giving.
I was in the middle of that.
Fucking dammit.
No, I haven't.
That game's a bit underwhelming.
I bet.
Yeah.
But you've been playing it a bunch, you say.
A bunch.
No, I haven't.
You've been underwhelming yourself.
I've been so underwhelmed by it.
God, I've just been crying into my Vita.
That's all.
Pat.
Speaking of crying into Vitas.
Speaking of crying into Vitas.
I should point out there was a detail about my second Vita that I did not mention.
It's a white Vita.
Yeah, you did mention that.
I did?
Yeah.
I remember you saying I got the white Vita.
Now everyone has your de facto weapons as Ebony and Ivory.
I know, it's great.
I played a lot of Vita.
It's shocking.
I played more of the Tokidin demo for some reason, even though I had beaten it.
I got a shit ton of Ys in Kel-
Ys in the Zelseta.
In Kelchita?
No, not Kel-
Kel-
Kel-
Zelseta.
See the Vita Ys game.
The Folia Joshin.
Man, can pass me a Pocky.
That is the most old fashioned fucking Falcon.
Like it should be on the PS1.
It totally feels like that.
It reminds me of like the Grandstream Saga.
It's an RPG totally out of time.
Yeah.
It feels like this weird, like, what if Zelda became dip?
Like, what if Zelda games split off from Link to the Past to become action focused?
Well, E7 was made recently and it was all fancy.
Stop, stop, stop.
Why Apostrophe S?
No.
It's the easiest thing to remember.
That's a knee slapper.
Awfully amazing.
I can barely bear it.
I had that stocked.
I knew.
E-Selzeta, if I'm not mistaken, is a remake of the fourth one.
Maybe.
Which is why it feels out of time.
There's a billion different Ys games.
And there's a billion remakes of them.
But I really like it.
And they're great.
And I played a bunch of games that are going into my top ten list.
Yeah.
And every time I sat down to record footage, I played them and then like lost my afternoon
because I would play and play and play and play.
So the E-Series is something that I touched for a very little amount of time years ago.
It's a shame.
Now, but I do know that they're, yeah, they're like Zelda-like games.
They're great.
Originally they were PC, right?
PC Engine, I believe.
Okay.
So now when they come out, are they like simultaneous release all platforms or is it like still
No, they're all on the platform.
They're on the platform where they can sell.
Okay.
So Selzeta's only on the Vita.
Okay, okay.
E7 was on the PSP.
So they don't port around.
They just pick one and make the game.
Recently, the first and second and Oton Felgana went to PC on Viosteam.
Yeah.
Because I believe those actually had PC releases in Japan at some point.
Yeah.
But yeah, don't expect a port of like Selzeta or the recent one anytime soon.
It's a super weird series.
Like there's tons of them.
And from what I can tell, there's no story whatsoever.
There's the story that Adol, your character is like Indiana Jones.
The greatest adventure ever.
And it's, this is his adventure when he went to blank.
So it's like if you want to play it chronologically, it's kind of like.
It doesn't matter.
It's like, no, but it's like Kingdom Hearts where you're jumping through five systems.
No, but there is no chronology.
They're all completely separate from what I can tell.
I thought there was a certain.
Anyway.
Like every single one starts, like I started Oton Felgana and I started this and both of
them start with, hey Adol, you're on a new adventure.
Oh what?
And you forgot your memories.
Again, you forgot your memories.
So here, let me tutorialize you.
It's good though.
Like fast action.
And it gets your plot set out of the way like that and go, go, go, go.
Go adventure in this giant, open-ish world.
Nothing will ever touch the Kingdom Hearts fucking mess.
That is, I want to know the story because this game has a crazy story.
Let's put a new game on every single new platform ever.
So you start with a PlayStation.
Right.
Play PS2.
PS2, you jump over to a Game Boy Advance.
Yeah.
It goes PS2, then GBA, then PS2, then 3DS, no DS, DS, then PSP, then cell phone.
Yes, that's true.
Yeah, you needed it.
Oh my gosh.
You got the most cell phone.
No, that's coded.
That's coded.
Re-coded came out on PS later.
Then DS, then PSP, then cell phone again.
Cell phone again?
Which one is that?
Then 3DS, then 3DS.
And now PS4.
And now PS3.
And then PS4.
Wait, what do you mean now PS3?
It's the HD release.
Oh, but that's not a new one.
Yeah, I know, but it's way easier.
Oh, you're counting the remakes in there.
Yeah, because.
You skipped a few then.
Some of those are the only ways to get a hold of them now regularly.
Yeah, absolutely.
Like there's, the GBA game got turned into a PS2 game in Japan finally.
Yeah, well, we got it here.
We got it here?
Yeah.
But that was only on like a subsequent re-release.
Yes.
And now it's, oh, oh, oh.
I like how some of you know little bits.
We have to piece it together.
We have to put all your information together.
Just ignore it and play the world ends with you.
Yeah.
Yeah, please do.
It's way better.
Oh.
For your wrists.
I'm going to, oh.
Yeah.
Kingdom Hearts is going to kill me.
Pat, quick aside, I met a guy on the Metro with a Vita 2000 from Japan.
Wow.
It is so comfy.
How comfy?
Okay, it's 20% lighter, but it feels at least 50%.
Okay, what about the screen?
What about the screen?
It looks fine.
It looks fine.
It's dimmer?
Is the main takeaway?
Okay.
It looks fine.
But if you put them next to each other, you can eyeball it.
I would need to have a Vita 2000.
I'll probably get a Vita 2000 once.
Why won't we haul it?
Matt, save me.
Yes, please.
Matt, are you getting a Vita 2000?
No.
Are you getting the Vita 3000?
No.
Are you going to get a white Vita?
Nope.
I got a 64.
Please tell me about your week.
I read the newest volume of Berserk that just came out.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
There's new Berserk?
Well, I don't know what you read up to.
It's the one with the boat.
It's been the boat for the last three years.
So, I read Berserk this week, one of the newer Dark Horse volumes of it.
It's got one of the saddest little flashbacks ever.
It's guts stuck in a cell.
There's a shaft of light on a little flower.
Guts is fucking beat up as shit.
Yeah, he didn't have a good day.
He didn't have a good day.
And he looks and he goes, what's this hallucination I'm looking at?
There's a tiny little flower sprite.
And she's like, oh, guts, notice me.
Oh, I'm so loving you.
And he's like, what the fuck is this?
And then she's like, oh, you're the first one to notice me ever.
I'm going to clean up all your wounds and make sure you're okay.
And he's like, oh, that's cool, I guess.
And he falls asleep.
And she likes guts so much that when he wakes up, she pulled off all the petals on her flower
and killed herself getting all his wounds repaired.
Because he was being sent to a training camp to get killed by some uppity prince.
What the fuck?
Yeah, and then guts make sure to take the dead flower.
Because he was so hyped up going, oh, I'm going to kill this guy.
I'm going to survive whatever surviving.
I love doing that.
I'm good at it.
He's pretty good at it.
And he kills the prince escapes because everyone's like, oh, kill that guy.
He killed the prince.
And then he goes and finds a field of all the similar flowers where she thinks the little fairy before she died
thinks all her brethren are and plants it in the ground.
And I was like, holy shit.
That's tragic.
It's super tragic.
See, it is super tragic and it was relatively well done.
Yeah.
But when I, okay, so guts, Berserk's been going on for a while.
Especially his fucking boat ride.
Okay, so he's been on the boat ride to go to Fairyland to fix all the problems, right?
Sure.
Then he fought Cthulhu and that was radical.
That was awesome.
That was a cool side story.
And then there was a break and then we came back with a flashback of the only time in Guts's life we have not seen.
The only place there is more flashback to go to.
And all I take away from that is, oh my God, Mira doesn't know where the fuck Berserk is going.
Time for a flashback.
Yeah, exactly.
Time for a flashback and then a year plus of hiatus.
Yeah.
Like, Berserk is doomed.
Like, that confirmed it more than anything.
Well, I guess still give him the benefit of the doubt.
Dude, these guys are amazing.
He's like 65.
You said this and you were wrong.
He's like 41 if he is.
He's like 89.
Dude, Arak, he's been going for fucking ever and he knows exactly what he's doing.
He finishes his story.
Although I'm not hearing great things about Jojo Lyon.
Yeah.
But regardless.
Dude, you can't do it all perfect for 30 years.
Yeah.
I guess so.
You're gonna fuck it up.
Aside from that, I was telling Liam about this.
I tried some of my culinary skills and I made Jeon Jeon Myung for Leanna.
And this is the meal that you guys liked at the Korean place.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
With the black sauce.
The black sauce and the udon noodles and I made it well.
I was like, this is totally eatable.
And we enjoyed it immensely.
I was like, because I had this as a homemade recipe with no amount of ingredients.
How much?
I wasn't told.
And I still pulled it off so I was just asking about that.
This is fit for human consumption.
Matt's job is now to feed us.
Actually, it really has been for a while.
Yeah, that's true.
Someone said Matt like a kiss the cook apron.
Please.
Please.
And aside from that.
The big dick hole cut in it.
The biggest dick hole you can cut.
No, the skull's the flat.
Yeah.
And aside from that, when Spinal came out, I played a shitload of Killerang Sting.
Aside from Spinal, I noticed that there was a bunch of things changed.
I don't even know.
And the change list.
In the change list.
They totally redid Orchid's classic costume.
Now it has a really cool texture and like muscle definition.
It looks way, way better.
The other one looked like shit.
That's good.
It didn't look great.
The saber wolf looks terrible.
Until you put the fucking suit on him.
Until you put a vest on him, give him big, sharp robot legs and make his face a zombie.
You can do all three.
You can make Glacius look like an ant.
They give him a giant ant face.
But why would you?
Because classic K.I.2 Glacius looks great.
It's pretty good.
And Spinal, when I went the first time online, I was like, okay, this is the first time Spinal,
I'm gonna go online.
I fought a Spinal.
And as the first guy, I'm like, okay, at least that's a good thing.
He's really fun to fight against and as.
It's like, oh, I can play him as a regular character.
Then you forget everything about the skulls and the zapping of all the meters.
And then you're like, this is the most technical character in the game.
If you play him like all the regular characters, just do combos or whatever.
Use your special moves.
Yeah, he's kind of basic.
But if you use everything, it's like, holy shit.
When you do his ultra, his ultra finishes its cycle before you can interrupt it with instinct.
Because they make it so that you have to throw skulls that sap meters.
So when you're doing your ultra, you're zapping the meter to get more.
Oh, wow.
It's just for stylish.
Plus his ultra ender, he makes a giant fist come out of the ground and just do an uppercut.
He's crazy.
That fucking theme, man.
Spinal.
Spinal.
I'm not sure if you read that the composer of Killers of Soundtrack said five countries
helped in the creation of his theme, country.
Wow.
Yes.
Like the UK, guys from the Netherlands, we needed a Tibetan leg, human leg bone.
I read that.
I read that.
It's fucked up and weird.
I've seen it.
So I had a busy week.
Sam.
I have not been interested in Killers of Sound at all.
You've said this multiple times and thank you for always saying it.
Spinal.
Fucking let me finish.
I'm just glad he's fine.
It's time to mention it.
Spinal makes me interested.
Spinal.
Spinal is really cool.
Fucking awesome.
I noticed that there was a coincidental like, hey, so when are we going to play some fighting
games on the day of the Spinal trailer?
A little bit.
It makes me interested in the whole thing because fucking big Cthulhu shield.
Yeah.
That's the coolest thing ever.
Think about Hakan, but very projectile based.
Yeah.
Man.
Maximum skull.
Tied all the time.
Tied all the time.
Oil up this bone.
Oil up this skull.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's the Jason and the Argonaut sound effects.
They just nail it.
Yeah.
What about you, Willie?
I had a pretty fun week, man.
I checked out this show.
I don't know if you guys heard of it.
It's on Cartoon Network now.
It's called Rick and Morty.
I've heard of it.
People are saying good things.
It's really good.
Like I was, I saw the trailer for it when we were at Magfest originally on the TV.
Oh, because you watched Cartoon Network all night.
I loved it.
The TV never turned off.
It stayed on.
But like, no, I actually sat down and checked out like the first two episodes of it.
It's really fucking good.
It's made by Dan Harmon.
Okay.
The guy who got kicked off in community.
The creator of community.
Yeah.
And also the creator of Heat Vision and Jack.
Oh, shit.
That's right.
Now it all comes together.
Now it all comes together.
Yes.
Have you seen Liam?
No.
No reaction.
Okay.
So this is Owen Wilson as a talking motorcycle and Jack Black as an astronaut that gets super
smart when the sun goes down.
That's super dumb.
He's like, I know everything.
Or is it when the sun comes up?
It's one of those.
Sure.
Created by Dan Harmon, directed by, what is wrong with me?
Zoolander.
Ben Stiller?
Ben Stiller.
Directed.
Really?
Yes.
I think Heat Vision and Jack.
That's what I just said.
Oh, I thought you were talking about the new one.
No, no, no.
I'm saying sorry.
Ben Stiller directed Heat Vision and Jack.
Well, yeah, obviously.
Right.
So that guy, because that show was hilarious.
It was a throwback to Quantum Leap and stuff like that.
Yeah.
That was the best example.
Totally great.
All those ghost dog shows never got on the air.
So it was just a pilot.
You know what it's like?
It's like, hey, we don't want this awesome town show made by these.
Nobody.
Nobody.
Alone in the islands, Fox says.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bad moves.
Bad moves.
Oh, no.
No one's going to get this humor.
Yeah.
So yeah, these guys came together with Justin Rowland, who you might know as fucking Lemon
Grab.
Holy shit.
Oh, man.
And the two of them were put together this show.
That's totally acceptable.
Yeah.
So Rick and Morty is basically the obvious references back to the future.
Okay.
Right.
Okay.
Morty is basically Marty.
Okay.
And Rick is Doc.
Okay.
And I'm into this.
And then you take the raunchy assholeness of Archer and just infuse it into back to the
future.
Is this live action?
No, it's a cartoon.
Yeah.
There's no way.
It's fucking great, man.
Like I want to say jokes, but everything's a spoiler.
Okay.
Good.
Just check out the first two.
See if you like it.
I will do these things.
I'm totally on board.
I like Archer.
Yeah.
Archer.
Do it.
I like Heat Vision and Jet.
I just saw all these things.
I just saw an article today just because you mentioned back to the future.
Like the top 10 bullies from 80s movies today.
Nice.
And Biff looks like the nicest guy ever now.
Biff's great.
He travels around playing his guitar, doing comedy things.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What about McAllister?
Oh, he looks awful, Buzz.
Buzz is melting now.
Oh, man.
Melting not great.
People are weird.
Yeah, they're not great.
Rick Flair.
You got to hold it together.
Yeah.
And the other thing I did with my week was here in Gros Morial, it's Poutine Week.
Oh, yeah.
Of course it is.
It's the week of Poutine.
Yeah.
I didn't know about General Tau Poutine.
Oh, you didn't.
That's a thing.
You should just assume that Blank puts in is something that Poutineville offers General
Tau Poutine.
It's like cereal in the States.
Yeah.
So, yeah, no.
It's basically one of our main dishes.
It's our deal.
Over here, we've got...
It's a national heritage.
Exactly.
It's the number one killer.
We all get the week off for Poutine Week.
There's a ton of restaurants around town offering up different crazy styles on Poutine, which
is...
Try to beat each other.
Which, if you're unaware, is thick-cut fries, cheese curds, and brown sauce.
You can't just take gravy.
You can't just take cheese of grated kind.
It has to be those specific ingredients.
Well, unless you want to get interested.
Well, because fuck those Toronto Poutines.
If you want to do it wrong, like everybody fucking in Ontario.
Toronto Poutine.
Obviously, this is a traditional way, but you can make it good in different ways too.
I will fight you.
But that's time to fight now.
But that's the basic components, and everyone's kind of taking those and going nuts with it.
The basic idea for a variety is to just shove shit in there.
Yeah.
Just shove a new thing.
Just shove a whole other meal into the Poutine.
Cereal marshmallows.
Why not?
Stop talking about cereal marshmallows.
So, like all the tasty restaurants around town are offering up their entry, and then
at the end you vote on what your favourite was.
Okay.
So, I'm going to be heading around town, doing the rounds.
So, you're the Poutine master now.
Not yet.
You get to decide.
I'm still, but...
Will this be your own at the world's end?
You want to do the golden mile?
Do the golden mile of Poutine.
Measure down the heart attack shack at the end of this place.
For all the people that can't hack it.
Dude, yesterday I had the reggae, it's called, over at La Banquise.
Okay.
So, you take your Poutine, and then you throw in, like, hamburger meat on it.
Yeah.
Then you get guacamole, sliced tomatoes, and yellow peppers.
That sounds delicious.
And then you get the red, green, and yellow.
Oh.
So, it's called the reggae.
I don't get it.
Fucking tasty, man.
I don't know if you guys are going to be doing this.
No.
It's only going to be around for this week, so try it out.
And that was my week.
Aw, man.
Just week sounds.
Planning this week.
Your week sounds delicious.
Yeah, yeah.
We must make the itinerary.
Oh, my God, yeah.
All right.
Also, video games.
Yep.
There's what, what's that?
Okay.
I forgot.
So, guys, welcome back to the Psychic Best Friends Network.
Woo!
Because apparently, fucking Pat and Liam.
Little known fact.
Are just, like, super melding over here and calling shit.
It's not fair, though.
We cheated.
We went and saw Iwata and threatened him.
I don't think he did those things.
He had to take our ideas.
No.
You know, we were, like, our fists directly to you.
I'm, of course, referencing the fact that earlier...
Was that last week?
Can we talk about that?
Two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago.
We talked about it last week.
Okay.
Oh, this was two weeks ago.
Two weeks ago.
Whereas this news comes from basically yesterday.
Yep.
There was the shareholder meeting where Iwata addressed a lot of...
Everything, basically.
And we're really sorry about all that money you lost.
Well, shareholder meeting was last week.
This is, like, more...
The summarized notes, yeah.
And one of the big bullet points was that they're totally considering...
They're not considering.
They're doing it.
They're pulling...
That was the weird thing, is that they didn't say we're considering this.
Yeah, doing this.
They said we are actively working on this exact day.
Well, we are pulling together our handheld and console teams into one.
Which, in all fairness, was the one thing we knew going into three weeks ago.
You're right, right.
That was the one thing that was announced ahead of time.
Did you cheat?
No.
I didn't know that.
It was cheating.
I guessed.
Yeah, I don't think I knew that.
Maybe not.
It was obvious anyway.
And it's unsure as to what that'll be, but it seems to be more along the lines.
The example they use in those summarized notes is iOS.
iOS.
Is that your iPhone and your Mac and your iPad are all clearly different devices with different
properties, but they all have a common architecture and there's a lot of the software is the same.
Well, I mean, if Sony is fucking doing it, you better get it done.
Sony's the king of proprietary nonsense.
So how'd they beat everybody to the punch on this?
And what he was basically pointing out was the fact that they went through software droughts
on the Wii U should be completely avoidable if they have...
All the games go to everything.
On both consoles, if you're doubling up on everything.
That was something I was saying like last year when there was, you know, all the Wii U games had finished coming out for like six months.
Like just port 3DS games.
Straight up.
Port them up.
Kidding.
They mentioned that every time they made a new console, it was ground up starting from scratch with the architecture with the exception of GameCube into Wii.
Yeah.
So this...
Because they just taped them together.
And so this time around, they're looking at it like, all right, Wii U into what our next console will be.
With also like the 3DS sort of...
Have a portable Wii U.
Like if you were, like certain 3DS games look really, really good.
Yeah.
Especially if you just, all you do is HD them.
But he explicitly says here that they would have a hard time getting games ported between the Wii U and...
Oh yeah, now.
Now.
Right now they're super different.
They're totally different.
So suddenly I understand why we haven't seen Kid Icarus HD.
Yeah.
Maybe a mess.
They have to rebuild it.
We talked about it a few weeks ago.
Right.
But our conclusion was just fucking do it.
And it sounds here like it's harder than we thought.
Well, no.
My conclusion was they have to build them closer so they can actually do it.
Yeah.
Retroactively, it'd be super hard.
But going forward, they should fucking think for two seconds.
Yeah.
And they're going to.
They should have fucking done that.
So does this mean that Wii U will be the console that stays around and the handheld will be the one that connects to Wii U?
Or will it be a new package of both?
I think it'll be a new both.
And I hope so.
A new generation.
I hope so.
Because also, like, despite the fact that they're utterly fucking slaughtering the Vita.
Yeah.
They would still want to up their tech if they should.
And maybe, just maybe, call me crazy here.
Put a second fucking analog stick on the god damn Nintendo.
That's nuts.
That's crazy.
No, we should sell it separately.
Fuck.
I can't wait for the 2DS CirclePad Pro.
Oh.
That's going to be the Frankenstein shit.
It's not going to come out.
It's not going to come out.
No, it's not.
No, but like, no way.
Jesus.
Nope.
Not going to happen.
Nope.
Yo, guys.
What?
Seaboot 2.0.
Oh, no.
Anti-Colonel.
That guy sounds fake as shit.
I'm going to call him Anti-Colonel.
Because that's what the letter is.
Sure.
She clarified what this is about.
Yeah, I'm about to.
And she clarified what the fuck Seaboot is.
What's a Seaboot?
Alright.
Well, you start with that and I'll go into that.
Seaboot is a guy on Neogav called Crazy Buttocks on a Train that always talks in a complete
nonsensical, weird, impossible to decipher text.
Gibberish.
However, everything he says in that impossible to decipher text with like a 95% success rate
comes true.
Wait, was Seaboot shoot bang?
What?
Shoot bang.
Who's shoot bang?
The Neogav poster that said when Dead Space 3 is revealed, it will be shoot bang.
I think that is the guy.
That guy's awesome.
Everything Seaboot says is true.
Seaboot sometimes goes to hibernate sometimes because he's afraid of getting caught.
Well, who knows.
That's why he speaks in such mysterious ways.
Bleaks in such mysterious ways so the journalists feel very uncomfortable printing his bleaks
as true.
And no one can catch him.
Right.
Because like, what are you going to trace that back?
Now, the infamous Seaboot and the infamous Lupinco untouchables.
Now, N.T.
Colonel is a new guy.
Yes.
N.T.
Colonel is a guy or lady that showed up on Neogav.
N.T.K.
R.N.L. showed up on Neogav in a thread where people were basically talking about how Phil
Spencer was addressing the fact that Black Tusk had Gears of War thrown in their laps
and their new IP was cancelled.
What did Black Tusk do?
Nothing.
Nothing.
They were brand new.
That makes you feel good.
Microsoft opened four studios in Northern America area in Canada, including Black Tusk,
and then they all eventually folded into Black Tusk.
In Black Tusk?
Out in Vancouver?
Yeah, and they eventually folded into Black Tusk.
To be fair, the name Black Tusk is an awesome name for you.
Yeah, it is.
But there was a lot of but hurt over the fact that the new IP got cancelled, and so that
was being addressed.
Right.
And Phil Spencer was saying things like, yeah, don't worry, we're focusing on new IP.
It's very important.
It's critical.
It's critical to our future.
Right?
And so in the middle of this thread, some guy shows up and just straight up starts
leaking crazy new X-Bone information.
I don't know if I'd call it crazy.
Yeah, no, that's the thing.
It's not crazy.
It's all totally believable.
In fact, it's all safe.
I need water, man.
I'm still sick.
I can't fucking do it.
Sorry.
Go get some water, Liam.
You're all right, man.
Oh, Liam's dying.
Oh, that's not good.
That's just, yeah.
All right, all right.
Take it away, Liam.
I'm terribly sick, and I'm terribly sorry for coughing up a storm.
All right, Liam's alive.
As long as you don't die during the podcast.
I'm gonna die during the podcast one day.
But no, we were in the middle of saying that they were totally believable.
It's super weird that they're totally believable.
Plus, the bit of it that's a platinum game we heard about before.
Yeah, a lot of these.
But not these details.
No, granted, which are barely anymore.
The details are such things as a halo too.
Well, yeah, yeah.
So let me just go ahead there.
Because basically, he posted, and then people were like, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, stop.
You need to stop posting any news and talk to a mod.
Because if you start leaking anything and you are not verified,
you get banned the fuck out of here.
NeoGap don't have no tolerance for people that make shit up.
Exactly.
So he got himself verified.
So he sent a PM, and then dude comes back and goes, yeah, he's clean.
He's legit.
And then just reaction gifts for pages, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's what he said.
He said, halo two anniversary coming in 2014.
I don't know much about halo, but I think halo two is considered like the way it is.
It's the best one.
It's the best.
It's quite weak.
It's the best.
Right there.
Okay.
Halo five 2015.
That is supposed to be this year, isn't it?
Why would they do two in one?
Exactly.
But no, I mean like halo five, I believe was like literally supposed to be this year.
Like implied.
So that would be like a stealth delay.
What do you mean implied?
Like the trailers that they did beforehand.
Although I'm with no date.
Yeah, the one with no date.
But they showed it off last year.
Doesn't it make more sense that halo five would imply 2015?
That would be a marketing guys wet dream.
Oh, people also get five.
And look, we got it.
We nailed it.
Okay, so it's halo five, halo two anniversary.
Crackdown three 2016.
This was another rumor we heard going on.
Crackdown come back.
Right.
The last one no one liked.
Yeah, whatever.
But it was by different guys.
Yeah, it was rough in.
Gotta get it going.
Forza horizon.
Fall 2014.
Sure.
Not crazy at all.
We rebegin the forza halo gears cycle.
Yeah.
That's correct.
The Triforce.
The Triforce.
Sunset Overdrive fall 2014.
I heard that two months ago.
That was like super confirmed in the 2014 game.
White X-Bone coming later on in the year.
Rumor has it.
Gonna be bundled with Sunset Overdrive in October.
That's a weird game to put in there.
But sure.
I would buy that one.
Yeah.
If the game looks good.
I'd buy that one.
Yeah.
It makes sense to push that.
Yeah, it makes sense to push that.
Like Fuse was shit.
Fuse.
He was what it was.
But Insomniac does have a good pedigree.
What with the, they make retching clang.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And resistance.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sure.
Yeah.
But totally.
That makes sense to bundle that.
Again, these are all on the rumor list.
Isn't there a Titanfall bundle in there also?
The Titanfall artwork bundle was shown off.
But that does not mean it's gonna happen.
The artwork was super fake.
Okay.
The art was confirmed super fake.
So that was a mock-up of a Titanfall bundle.
Yeah.
Right?
With a Titanfall themed X-Bone.
But they're saying that that might have been canceled.
Well, because they have the controller already.
It's all rumors.
But it's that rumor.
There's rumors of rumors that that picture was a canceled bundle that's not gonna happen.
Either way, whatever.
That's another thing on the list.
There's a lot of shit on the list.
He also said Quantum Break, Holiday 2014.
Yeah, that makes sense.
The canceled project that Black Tuss was working on was called Shang Heist.
Which means it probably has to do with the video they showed.
The pre-rendered, well, supposedly not pre-rendered one.
But it was pre-rendered.
The one that the critics are calling creatively bankrupt.
Yeah.
The one that looked kind of just like, oh, it's Splinter Cell.
It's more Splinter Cell.
Yeah.
Fable Legends Summer 2015.
Sure.
Whatever.
Gears of War probably gonna take two and a half years.
That makes sense.
No surprises.
They just got it.
They started last week and they're on a rolling and tumbling start.
Titanfall DLC is gonna come in 45 days and then 120 days.
That is EA's MO to a T.
I am super surprised.
I am super surprised.
Right?
And the thing-
I could have told you that.
And this is what convinced me was when he posted just a giant list of dates when the
tier two and tier three countries are gonna like-
Why would anyone making shit up just decide to go for that?
Because that's easily verified when it happens or not.
It's such a particular list.
And it's closer than you expect from them.
Yeah.
He has no idea what Rare is up to.
Nothing.
$400 Xbox One this year.
Maybe without an optical disk drive.
Microsoft came out I think today or this would be yesterday for listeners.
And I think Squash that rumor though.
That one specifically.
They said that's not happening.
Okay.
They actually addressed an NTK.
Whether that's PR talk or anything.
Wow.
That particular rumor got picked up really hard.
Because people are going what-
Expone without a disk drive.
What would that mean?
And everyone's agreement is that it would be a fucking disaster.
It would be the stupidest thing ever.
And then it was gaining more and more traction because price cuts.
And then they come out and they say no.
It's like the PSP Go but more expensive.
I think-
It's like the PSP Go but more of a knee jerk situation.
As well there were the-
You mentioned the Platinum Game.
I didn't mention it.
But I was allowed to say Platinum Games.
Exclusive Xbox One.
Project Nagano.
March 2016.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Everybody go crazy.
So we heard about-
We don't go crazy yet.
Everybody make money.
Maybe Platinum will go bankrupt before that.
We can only hope.
I don't-
Like why would you?
I mean clearly know if MS is paying them for this game.
True.
But we heard this rumor before.
Yeah.
And it's nice to hear-
We heard it from Siebo.
We talked about this on another podcast.
We were like it has to be Platinum.
Yeah.
It was big Japanese developer.
And what is the developer that anyone would be like?
The only-
What's the developer anyone can buy?
The only other one is Miss Walker really.
Yeah.
And where have they been?
They've been making phone games.
Microsoft?
Yeah.
Yeah I know.
We said-
They're one of the two.
We said Platinum, Miss Walker and Tecmo but-
Tecmo will do anything.
Yeah.
They're great.
Platinum will do anything too.
Yeah.
And I mean-
They're making Wii U games for fuck's sake.
Oh good ones.
I know they are good.
I don't sell them good.
But you don't-
Like every Platinum.
But you don't go to Platinum for sales which makes this-
Yeah.
This rumor even you go for critical darling.
It's the ultimate-
You go for a star on your lapel.
It's the ultimate vanity project.
Totally.
It makes this rumor like wow, Microsoft's trying some shit.
These rumors sound super, super real.
And I would be utterly unshocked if they turn out to be real.
This leak seems super manufactured.
Well it seems super convenient.
Apparently.
Well the follow up article was that Microsoft is now hunting down this dude.
Yeah.
And trying to track him down and press charges.
Also there is-
He's in the office next to you and you told him they're all patting themselves on the
back.
Because the only info leak in here was Titanfall DLC.
Like-
Yeah.
There's nothing that has anything else-
Anything that was like not a real big thing.
And all of these pieces of news are relatively safe.
Yeah.
There's nothing in here that is not-
There's nothing negative in here.
Well that's not a single goddamn word.
Like in his post he said he's like are you gonna lay low because you're afraid?
And he's like I fear nothing.
Plus we're all chomping at the bit to get this news out.
It can't possibly hurt anything.
Yeah.
And it can.
In his words.
There was a Twitter thing recently where someone's asked Phil Harrison, hey any cool
news drops, little hints you can give on Twitter?
Actually I think there's been enough news this week quote unquote.
And everyone's like well he just confirmed that that's all real now.
Phil Spencer you mean?
Yeah.
No surprises.
He's like I think you guys have enough news.
This guy did confirm, NT Colonel did confirm that he's not Phil Spencer by the way.
That's the one thing he did do.
Well but is he telling the truth?
One way or another you can interpret these facts in a certain way.
Microsoft saying that they're going after this person one way or another if the person
was told to do it and it's a big plan or not heavily implies that everything in here is
true.
Otherwise Microsoft would say we do not comment on rumors and speculation.
They would not tell someone who asks them a question we're gonna fucking fry that guy.
Like everything.
They would just say no.
They would just say no.
Because if they do go now we found him here's his name.
We're hanging him out to dry.
Then that means it's super true.
That's what I'm getting at.
You would just say no.
When people ask about the rumors you would just say no.
If they were false that's it.
Like one way or another it makes it look super true.
Yeah.
Either way like it does some good PR for Microsoft.
They sell for sure.
Yeah.
So I mean the good takeaway here is Platinum's gonna be in business until at least 2016.
If Microsoft is paying them then they're getting money.
Yeah.
They can make the game.
Totally.
Well I mean how contracts work is they pay for the entire game and a bit extra.
So that's what's going up in the world.
I want to see the new iteration of the Platinum logo.
I wanted the new P-Star logo to show up.
What do you like?
For next year.
Why?
No the same P-Star but like the new graphic when you're starting up a game.
No I like their current one.
Because you know we've seen like different Capcom logos this time.
It's so charming when you see it on the DS.
No I like the current P-Star logo I think.
No.
I want it even better.
What are you saying?
It's like awesome but like make it extra shiny.
Yeah well every company goes through different ages of their logo.
Of course.
Platinum's gonna do it eventually.
Platinum's gonna do it eventually.
Maybe it should be a game that's like maybe gold.
I mean after 1-0-1 I'm not sure what the fuck they can do because that game is basically
their logo.
That game is nuts.
We've heard about that game.
Dude you've got to play that game.
You know I've been playing it.
I've heard about it.
I've heard about it.
Play it more.
Yeah.
Also going on today.
Yeah.
Well today.
Today.
No.
Today being tomorrow.
Today.
Ah.
Yes.
Ringing on the edge.
This is mysterious.
I over thought it.
Exactly.
The order 1886 is having a giant 40 minute press embargoed detail video session.
Thanks for not letting me see footage and continuing to make me not care.
This segment is called please leak please.
They don't need for you to care because they can show it whenever and you'll start.
I know.
No.
It reminds me of Assassin's Creed 3 when oh we're going to show it 10 minutes to the
press.
I remember that.
We're going to have a secret theater at PAX and everyone's going to come and go oh my
god it's amazing.
They showed the footage and I was like okay.
Oh it was Assassin's Creed footage.
This kind of reveal of like we're going to shepherd and hide the footage and it makes
me anti-hype.
It makes me so wary of the product.
It's artificial hype.
Yeah.
It's so.
It reminds me of the Final Fantasy Versus 13 Secret Theater square head every year.
Square head for every five years.
Square head for like five years and then what did we get?
Nothing.
None of those were real.
So yeah.
Once you show me the footage once you show everybody else the footage.
Great.
I hope it looks awesome.
It's probably great.
Sony Santa Monica does good stuff.
Like I was about to say.
I was about to say that's nice that you feel that way.
I don't give a shit.
The order looks awesome.
You haven't seen any of it.
You've seen three screenshots.
And we lost some of them.
And it's always a guy in blue.
We saw that video.
The video that was a cut scene.
And like just the.
No but there's like seriously.
I have to see the HUD.
I have to see the game.
There's probably no HUD.
There's probably no HUD.
There's probably no HUD.
You might be right.
Because they're going for that cinematic.
The announcement that it wasn't a first person shooter dude.
See that's you.
That's you being so cynical.
About first person shooting.
That all you needed to be excited is that it was a third person shooter.
How about cynical but not vomiting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
I think it looks really good.
Can't wait to see more footage.
What do you think looks good?
The 35 screenshots and the cut scene.
Screenshots.
Thank you.
And they look like a game.
Thank you.
Okay.
And I think that looks good.
Whether it plays good.
Like I don't know.
If there was nothing to speak of I would understand your points.
But there's totally stuff there.
Whether or not the game is good.
Screenshots.
I don't know what Matt looks like.
I don't think screenshots are anything to talk about.
Yeah.
After a decade and a half of bullshot.
No shirts.
But it's fair for us to say that looks good.
Like the only thing that gets me excited about a game nowadays is a well cut trailer that
like Platinum or Kojima makes basically.
Or those Rockstar videos.
Or Rockstar style videos that show off like here's how the game works.
Here's what you'll do.
Or straight up like 15 minutes of a guy playing the game.
Dude was that really cool Assassin's Creed one the other week?
What was that?
Shadows of Mordor.
Assassin's Creed and Shadows of Mordor.
Okay.
Yeah.
No that's what I'm talking about.
That shit.
Yeah.
Right.
Fantastic.
It shows me what the game is.
I hope we get more of those soon.
Hey guys.
Ditch your PS3 and save 100 bucks on your X-Bone.
That is, this is the most cynical.
It's so funny.
The most cynical.
Or as someone photoshopped.
Yeah.
Save 100 bucks, keep your PS3 and buy a PS4.
Yeah.
So if you go to the, that was a Microsoft promotion that they put out.
At GameStop?
At the Microsoft Store I think.
Oh seriously?
Yeah.
They're buying their competitors old products?
Yeah.
And then they probably just resell them to GameStop behind the door.
Right.
But the site that had that picture with the specific deal on it has now been updated.
I want to go check it out.
I got emailed around to everyone too.
Yeah.
And now it says we're taking in old gen consoles or select consoles.
And they're taking in 360s as well.
Yeah.
Give us your consoles.
Yeah.
Your core and your wear.
Yeah.
And they're like, and they're basically, they've turned it into a general trade-in thing.
Yeah.
100 bucks off your X-Bone.
Yeah.
That's not the intent.
Yeah.
You know what?
I'd like a really wacky story.
If you give us two Neo Geos, they'll get $10 off of PS3.
Like what?
Like what?
You're at a Microsoft store.
A person's console is probably, especially with the games they put into it, even a casual
person.
It's worth more than 100 bucks.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Dude, you can like go out on the street and within a half hour in a city sell it from
one of them.
Craigslist.
Craigslist.
You don't even need the street.
No, but I'm saying that's how easy it is.
If you want to search for it, you just need to put it in front of you.
Hey, I'm willing to sell an Xbox for $120.
And people will go all by that, unless it's those red, only in Canada, offline wheeze.
Oh, those things are garbage.
Of course, it's got to be the right price, but you know, because the relative price for
that would be really easy on the street.
Yeah.
Like Johnny Lunch Pale is just like, oh, geez.
Internet.
I don't need it.
Buy something for my kids.
$3 or $360 if you sold it for 100 bucks on the street.
Obviously the Wee-Minnie for go for $30.
Remember that weird red Canadian PS3?
Yeah.
The one that came with hockey, the hockey game.
The hockey game.
Comes with hockey game.
They don't even need to say which one.
The hockey game.
It comes with Atari Ice Hockey.
Oh man.
Blades of Steel.
Comes with NHL PA-93.
Comes with Blades of Steel-99.
And Wayne Gretzky's 3D, Gray Gretzky's 3D hockey.
You fuck off.
That game is terrible.
It's such a great game.
That game is fucking awful.
I love that game.
Best memory of that game.
What was everyone's favorite hockey game?
Wayne Gretzky's 3D hockey.
No, my favorite hockey game is Hit the Ice.
Hit the Ice.
Okay.
Which one's that for?
It was like arch rivals, except it was like a crazy aggressive fighting.
And like swings on the ice and shit.
It was a PC only hockey game called Face Off, which had fighting game mechanics in the...
Oh, that sounds cool.
In the ending crawl.
Yeah, nice.
You had throws, you had holes, you had punches in the pit, you had end monsters.
Hit the Ice had fighting going on as well.
I had pretty heavy ice.
I like NHL 94 on the Genesis.
Sure.
And I always wanted to play the NES one that was like an RPG at the same time.
Oh man.
Oh man, Liam.
I have a Nintendo power where there's an RPG going on at the same time.
Liam, you're so close.
94 is great, but 93 years is better.
It doesn't have the NHL license so they don't have any of the teams.
Oh, they just have the...
They just have Montreal, Chicago.
With the colors.
PA for Players Association.
Yes.
But it means that the fighting in it was super brutal and you'd knock a guy's head off basically.
Yeah, you had to go all the way down.
Because that doesn't belong to anybody.
And 94 was the year that they introduced player creation and player trading.
And the Quebec Nordics.
Which I am convinced is what ruins sports games.
Forever.
Sports games were good when there was just a team and you couldn't create players.
And you couldn't fucking trade players.
And it had no relation to the sport.
And it was just a game.
But I had so much fun with me and my friends playing our own custom leagues with our own custom teams.
But you play hockey games now that they're all simmed.
Do you play football games now?
Do you play basketball games now?
No, I stopped playing those a long time ago.
But back in the day, my friends had fun playing football games.
And what I mean is the curve towards realism and real teams and simulating the sport started with player trading.
And now we're here where all sports games are shit.
You have to be a big ol' hockey nerd to play new hockey games.
Big ol' hockey nerd.
It's true though.
My brother and I were on the front lines like laughing at anyone who bought Quarterback Club.
Because we got the new Madden.
There was also that 32X1 where you played an all first person football game.
That's really cool.
Man, that sounds disgusting.
Admittedly that new mode in NHL 2014 or whatever, the classic mode, you saw that?
It looks like 93, 94, 95.
What I was going to say about Wayne Gretzky's 3D hockey is that since it was the only hockey game within the launch window,
I remember we were playing it all night once Saturday with our friends.
And we were playing it two on two and we're all fucking tired barely going around the ice, not even taking shots.
I pass it to my friend and all I see is his guy slowly sliding forward.
Going nowhere.
I'm like, Hardy, what the fuck are you doing?
Dude's drooling on his controller.
Just dead.
Wait, I forgot about the best one.
The one for the Wii where it can't hold slap your shit.
NHL's slap shit.
I forgot about that one.
Oh, Wayne Gretzky, what a shill.
What a fucking sports game.
I feel like having some Folgers right now.
It worked.
Best part of waking up.
It's Wayne Gretzky in your cup.
That's right.
Hey, guys.
What guy?
Guess who died?
Seymour Hoffman?
Philip Seymour Hoffman.
No, don't nod.
Yeah.
What?
The makers of Remember Me died.
Remember them?
Did they find 50 bags of heroin at their fucking old building?
They should have.
I would love it.
It would have been a better look.
Not only did few people care about don't nod going away,
like with Philip Seymour Hoffman dying,
people especially don't care.
It's a shame, though.
Really?
No, because it was their first game.
They managed to get something mediocre out.
They probably should have realized the Capcom curse
of making them a Western-developed game
and then probably getting closed.
They made it all fairness when they started that deal.
They technically filed for redressement,
Judy Saab.
Yeah, because they were from Paris.
Right, so it's like bankruptcy.
But they do have the ability to bounce back from it.
There's a word for that in English.
I can't remember what it is, though.
Yeah, I know.
Maybe it's just a different type of chapter.
Yeah, they filed for it.
Exactly, that's why I know it, because of THQ.
Matt, you're totally right.
Yeah.
The Clover curse became the Capcom curse.
Western Capcom curse.
And then Platinum took the Clover curse with them.
They doubled the curse.
Only double?
Now there's the Capcom curse, which is what Matt talked about,
which is Western studios make Capcom games and then die.
Yeah.
And Platinum, like, their curse got weaker.
Like, the Platinum curse is less strong than the Clover curse,
because Platinum continues to exist.
They live.
They live.
Anywhere coming it goes, the curse will follow.
But if Capcom is coming to your studio as a Western studio
to work on the games, unless they buy you.
You better have a fucking game.
Yeah, I was going to say, unless they buy you, the only people
were Blue Castle that made Dead Rising 2.
Well, unless they rename you to Capcom something.
Yeah, because they like you so much.
Do that or make a game based on candy.
Yeah.
There you go.
Yeah.
Or sagas.
Meanwhile, over in Oslo, FUNCOM had its offices raided by the eco-crime,
which is the Norwegian something or other.
Vegan police.
Norwegian national authority for investigation and prosecution
of economic and environmental crime.
Oh, because that sounded to me more like Greenpeace than anything.
No.
So that's the white collar of the FBI raid squad.
Yeah.
No, it's serious business.
It's OK OKRIM.
That's eco-crime.
FUNCOM?
But that sounds fun.
These dudes.
God, I worked there.
FUNCOM.
They kicked our doors down and they seized all their docks.
Now, why did they do this?
Because they were accused of insider trading.
That's no good.
Nope.
Don't do it.
It's a really dumb thing.
No, let me change that.
Don't get caught.
Yeah.
Just lie.
Everybody does it.
When they ask you if you did it, just lie.
Nothing bad will happen to you.
Let's stop lying.
They were delisted temporarily from the stock exchange.
Yeah.
That's brutal.
Holy shit.
But they were put back up after they got the docks.
After they paid the guy.
After they gave them the insider info.
Well, once the dudes kicked the doors down and took all the papers,
they're like, all right, continue.
We're going to read this and then come back and fucking find out.
Also, we're going to be watching your stock.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, I know.
I used to work at FUNCOM here in Montreal and they're no longer here.
It was mostly because they just would spend their money on nothing.
They spent their money on pressure-sensitive floorboards that would leave your imprint
of your foot instead of, I don't know, making compelling software.
That sounds cool.
I was going to say Conan is not nothing.
Yeah, it's not something.
Oh, wait.
So it hasn't surprised me that they're just frivolous and not careful with their money.
We ran out of money.
How do we get it?
Steal it.
Well, insider trading isn't stealing, but it's lying and cheating.
It's a fancy way to steal money.
Was their CEO those bones of any career?
Oh, FUNCOM.
I like the cut of the chip of this skeleton.
Promote him.
Just drag him onto the chair.
Someone get his car into the office.
I'm going to say low rides into the office.
Just bones on a desk.
It was him.
It was all his idea.
At least the SNK president moves in one direction repeatedly.
Yeah.
Anyway, the OUYA knew ya.
The improved.
Did you make that up yourself?
He made that article.
He made that up a thousand times.
It's not called the new year.
No, but did you think of that yourself?
It's called the two-year.
It's not the two-year either.
Well, it's not the second one.
Oh.
Well, yes, I did think of it.
Well, good job.
It's not bad.
If it's a different one, doesn't that automatically make it the second one?
No, it's version 1.2.
I thought you were going to make it the second one.
Oh, no.
It's that.
The two-year...
Ah, fuck it.
Anyway, what's improved?
I hope everything.
Improved controller.
That would be easy.
Improved storage.
They doubled it to 16 gigs.
As good as the Wii U.
No.
Improved Wi-Fi 32.
Yeah.
Not for half an inch.
Improved Wi-Fi connectivity.
Oh, yeah.
It is available.
You mean it works?
That's a good one, though.
It is available in stores now.
Okay.
How much does it cost, only?
Uh, my price rate in $20.
$30.
That sounds too much.
$120.
One-third.
No, it's $129.
Oh.
Okay.
Pretty sure it's $129.
Yeah.
You're on the board of directors.
You own an Ouija.
I do, and it's fun.
We manually played some games on it.
We had fun.
I had some fun with Duplicity.
Well, Duplicity and Amazing Frog.
Oh, fucking Amazing Frog.
Oh, you liked Amazing Frog.
Unfortunately, I liked Amazing Frog.
It was pretty amazing.
It was pretty stupid.
Duplicity is that game where you're playing like Tetris sideways, and my negative space
equals your positive space.
Okay, that's cool.
Yeah.
So you have to create lines by fighting each other.
I've heard of the title before.
And you pull off some bullshit plays.
It's almost like you're waiting for the other guy to drop their block.
You do a quick drop, and he does a square.
And then you have like a three line or like a four line, and you're like, what the fuck?
And they're not tetromidos.
So you can get like a single block or a three block.
And it's such bullshit.
It's ridiculous, but we ended up having fun.
Just don't play it with a shitty Xbox 360 controller.
Man, neither of us should have dared to use that controller.
Or the Ouija controller.
I really wish I could get past like that hurdle and like play like Ouija at your place and
like actually check it out.
But when I picked up the Ouija controller at your house when we did the t-shirt thing.
Yeah, exactly.
And I picked it up and just immediately like this is the worst piece of shit.
I have ever held in my hand.
You realize that's the lowest hurdle ever though, right?
No.
The hurdle is as low as picking up a PlayStation controller and plugging it in.
Yeah.
Considering the size of their operation, I'm like, okay, I understand.
Like there is no hurdle and you're just staring at it like this is bullshit.
The size of your operation shouldn't make you make a horrible controller.
But it's not.
I use it all the time.
It's not horrible.
It's horrible.
No, it's like as good as like mad.
It's not terrible.
No, it is though.
But when you make a console that is for people and like you wanted this, you helped us and
you give them like a thing that as soon as you hold you break out in hives.
But I'm one of those people and I'm not unhappy with it.
So look, the feel of the controller is subjective.
That's fine.
But you can again, just use your own controllers.
You can grab a controller you like, you know.
Hook up your PS2 pad.
What?
Like what?
But anyway, there's that.
It's neat.
Yeah.
I'm not going to buy one.
It remains the only Kickstarter I've ever backed out of.
No, I might get one to replace mine and give mine away to someone.
You should give it away to the garbage.
No, not people to give it to.
To Ellie.
Don't do that.
It might, actually to be, now that you mentioned it, that type of thing might be a good gift
for someone that doesn't play games often.
Well, actually, I'm just going to ruin them on games for the rest of their lives.
Duke Nukem mass destruction.
What?
It's just the fucking weird.
It really is.
I love it.
I love how this came out.
This is the weirdest.
A fucking path for this to go.
The countdown website shows up and they're like, get us to 10,000 likes on Facebook
and we'll unveil the code.
I hate those types of things.
Yeah.
And then a bunch of dudes are just like, or we can just take the code and crack it
because it's nothing.
Because fucking what are codes these days?
People are getting really fed up of this forced social media ARG bullshit.
Yeah.
And are just resorting to brute forcing the website.
And it works.
And it totally works.
80 out of 80 times.
Countdowns don't work unless people are actually hyped for the thing that you're putting out.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That usually is the huge detriment to the...
Oh, do you want Duke Nukem vans?
Do you want to help us release a new Duke Nukem?
No.
Actually, I used to be one of the biggest Duke Nukem fans ever.
I as well.
15 years ago.
So what this screams to me, this is some old Duke Nukem game that someone found.
Nope.
The details of what it is are shocking.
It is a top down action RPG being made on Unreal Engine.
Can you see the...
The original Unreal Engine, of course.
No expression on my face of why.
Why not?
Why not?
Because we own this fucking license.
But what else is he doing?
Put it in a fucking action straight up game.
I'll play Serious Sam The Random Encounter.
The Random Encounter?
No.
It's an RPG.
It's good.
I just don't associate doing it.
Yeah, but that also came out alongside like actual Serious Sam games.
Yeah, of course.
I have a time.
Forever was a fucking...
We were told by one Randy Pitchford at a presentation that they have the Duke Nukem license forever
and they want to do something awesome with it.
This isn't my game.
I know.
I know.
It's not.
And then he turned out to be super trustworthy.
But here's the thing.
Unlike Randy, this is being made by the actual original creator.
So it'll never come out.
And it'll be disappointing.
Has George been started behind this?
No.
Then...
Oh, okay.
No, it's Scott Miller who worked at Apagi under George Brussard.
As long as George isn't there to not make...
Oh, George.
To not make the game and post on forums about how you should shut up and wait for the game.
Like dudes are working really hard on it and he just shows up and goes, who wants hookers?
This guy!
Charge it to the company car.
Who wants to change engines?
Oh, no.
No.
Unreal 3.
Fuck that.
Unreal 4.
Unreal 4.
Fuck that.
The Crytek engine.
Fuck that.
Unreal 6.
We're going back to the Unreal 2 engine.
Use a leapfrog strategy to get on the unreleased engine.
Dudes are trying to work and he's just dumping mountains of coke on their keyboards.
Stop the boss encoding.
I need this snorted by 10.
If I do remember correctly, George Brussard's ridiculous vice during the Duke Nukem days for forever was wow.
Where people would be like, yo, I play a lot of wow with George Brussard.
Like a lot.
Like in the middle of the day.
Like what's up with that?
Shouldn't he be making Duke Nukem forever?
In my head, I'm just thinking of Entertainment 720.
Totally.
Absolutely.
That's absolutely what's going on in there.
Don't forget your free complimentary iPad on the way out.
But they didn't do that.
They did the weirder thing.
They ran a reasonable business for over a decade with nothing.
Was it really reasonable?
Yeah, they didn't have lavish expenses.
It appears reasonable.
That's why it, oh, that's why it lasted like, what, 12 years?
At least 20.
With nothing coming out.
Nothing coming in.
Other than the Max Payne royalty, which was a lump sum from Remini, I think.
Like, just, if they had gone lavish, like it might have lasted three or four or something.
Like Mr. Romero did back in the day with Dicatana.
And Dicatana sure made you his bitch.
Oh, it did.
I'm Dicatana's bitch now.
I'm sad that you can't use a cool word like Dicatana ever.
Right.
I'd love to think someone out there got like a tattoo or some shit.
Would you be excited for Dicatana too?
Oh, absolutely.
Was like a neat fan remake or something?
No, no, Romero needs to make it.
No, like an official one that was like fully accepting of how garbage.
Okay, okay.
Like a party game?
Okay, no.
Like, we are one-upping our stupidity.
Romero goes out onto a stage and says, this is how much I believe in Dicatana too.
And shaves his fucking head live on stage.
I will buy that game.
And he shaves the Dicatana logo into the back of his head.
Okay, if that happened, I would piss myself with hype.
I would be freaking out.
But the problem is that even if he did that, George Romero hasn't actually made a good game.
John Romero.
Sorry, John Romero.
Did I say George?
Yeah.
Has he not made anything since then?
He hasn't made many games at all.
He's made a few Russian shimmers.
And he backed the fuck out.
He made Gauntlet 7 sorrows on the PS2 and Xbox, which is a horrible Gauntlet game.
Yeah, absolutely.
And then he just moved on to mobile development forever.
Has he made anything good on mobile?
I nothing of no chance.
Okay, now that John Carmack is free, I need to see...
The shackles of game development.
I need to see, like, what's another word for doom?
Somebody give me another... does that something?
Mood.
Mood.
Put out mood.
Mood.
And fucking do it again.
Do it again, guys.
He's too rich for that shit, man.
Carmack is such a genius.
I want to go on a rocket.
He's a fucking rocket engineer.
I want to go on a Carmack branded rocket.
No.
What you want to do is go on a Carmack branded rocket and you'll fall asleep in 0G while
he tells you stories about dooms development.
I just want to hear about it.
You'll be able to do that very soon using Oculus Rift.
Oh, the John Carmack simulator.
He just shouts numbers into your ears.
No, just John Carmack's simulator is the killer app of the Oculus Rift.
It just transcribes every speech he's given ever so that you can just fall asleep listening
to them forever.
You become that artwork of that woman in the corner of her room.
Just all on her head.
And the paint's all peeling off.
I know exactly which one you're just listening to.
Just listening to John Romero forever.
Carmack.
There's a lot of John Carmack things.
God, you're George Romero, John Romero, John Carmack, George Romero.
Could you imagine Carmack and Romero's swapped hair?
Fuck.
I'm gonna have trouble.
I'm gonna have trouble.
But what if Romero's secret was his hair and if giving it to John Carmack would like
create some horrible super developer?
I don't know.
Like he'd have all the nerd power of Carmack but all the suave hair and long, beautiful
hair of Romero.
He would actually make you his bitch.
Yeah.
Okay.
You'd be okay with it.
As long as he talks about like shader deferment.
Let's stop talking about these nerds.
Oh my God.
They're huge nerds.
Yeah.
And by the way, it's not rocket science, it's rocketology.
Yeah.
That's dumb.
That sounds like a word.
I said it that way for unpurple.
You're full of goddamn shit.
I'm super for real.
Rocketology.
If you're a rocket scientist, come in and write in to the friendcast and be like, well,
you're full of shit.
I'm not full of shit.
Your dick is full of shit.
This makes no sense.
Fuck you.
It's very vile.
My dick is not a shit musket.
You can't deny it.
We can see it right now.
I am wearing pants.
Yeah.
Allegedly.
Allegedly.
Yes.
I am allegedly wearing pants.
So the award for the non-news article of the week that suddenly became a news article
but then reverted back to being the non-news article of the week.
That's how Spawn News in the end goes to the Watch Dogs trademark abandoned announcement.
Yeah.
Congrats, Ubisoft.
Congratulations.
You fucked up a bunch of shit for no reason.
Well, or you didn't.
Actually, this time we fucked up nothing.
Nothing.
So, okay, so where did this come from?
Liam, you can take this.
So someone, unknown.
Someone?
Just fucking faked it.
Well, don't start at the end.
No, no.
You're really getting it.
Okay.
You already outed the whole story.
Okay, so all of a sudden at four o'clock yesterday, Watch Dogs trademark abandoned.
Oh, but there's five more Watch Dogs trademarks.
It's fine.
Oh, there aren't actually five other Watch Dogs trademarks.
So the one with the space was abandoned.
Yeah.
Which is the actual name of the game.
And then no.
No.
I mean the underscore.
The one with the space is abandoned and the one with the underscore is not.
Yeah.
And we're like, oh, well, this is a bullshit announcement because they kept the one with
the underscore.
And then it turns out the one with the underscore doesn't exist.
They never actually registered Watch Underscore Dogs.
Yeah.
And then a little bit later in the day, Ubisoft is like, no, we didn't, we didn't do this.
We didn't do this.
These papers that say Yves Guillemot, like, okay, this, no, that's fake.
I didn't do that, said Yves Guillemot.
Yves Guillemot said he didn't do it.
And then Ubisoft marketing was like, no, this is, and then there was a huge debacle of,
like, what the fuck happened.
How did this hit mainstream immediately?
Because what's happening with Watch Dogs?
Right.
Like, oh my God, is it getting like renamed and rebranded?
Assassin's Creed 5?
Is it canceled for the Wii U?
Is it canceled for anything else?
And somehow, somehow in this cartoony dust ball of an in-fight, popped out the news that
Wii U Watch Dogs is still going.
Great.
Good.
There you go.
So nothing happened at all.
Nothing happened and then Wii U Watch Dogs got reconfirmed.
What I kind of took away from this is that someone's desperate for Ubisoft to announce
anything about Watch Dogs and made this up to make them go, here's seven minutes of
gameplay.
Don't worry.
What I took away from this was Iwata just went, Ubii, please.
Ubii, no.
Please.
I kind of don't think so.
You've been workshopping that all day.
I bet Iwata doesn't even know that game exists.
But they could use it.
Yeah.
But I don't know what it is.
It's a link.
It's not Hyrule Dogs.
Oh my God.
Future link on his tablet doing stuff.
That sounds terribly exciting for us.
Stopping, like, trafficking of, like, Hylian girls.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Awesome.
That was Hylian.
Yeah.
It's whatever you believe in because they don't speak it.
Yeah.
I'm sorry.
I'm just so sensitive now that people are upset that I say Mario.
Mario.
Mario.
Mario.
And you say Yakuza.
Yakuza.
Yakuza.
I don't, whatever.
Sure.
But no, we get made fun of for not saying things the way the Japanese would.
So when I say Kamina and I'm not saying Kamina or Shimon.
Shimon is the one where I'm like, yeah.
Fuck off.
It's Simon.
I don't care.
It was so weird reading these comments that were basically like, why did they pronounce
words wrong?
And the response was obviously that's their accent.
They're not from where you live.
Oh yeah.
Followed by the response of, but no, they say everything else like how I say it.
Right.
That means it's not an accent.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
What is going on?
You don't know anything about us.
Yeah.
Good.
Yeah.
Liam, do you say Shimon or Simon?
Shimon.
You say Shimon.
It's always been that.
I say Simon.
I say Simon because it was translated and subtitled as Simon, right?
Because I feel like then you're getting into, we've been here before, Gatsu.
Absolutely.
Right?
Guts or Gatsu.
Gats.
Gats is one.
Gats with a Z and Gats with a double T and an S.
I don't care what the creator intended.
This is what the can of translates into.
And that started to fall apart when they were started to officially translate.
Yeah.
They were being written as Guts.
But like, they say it in the English dub.
They say Simon.
Yeah.
Yeah, they do.
Which to me, I freaked out.
When I heard that, I freaked out.
I felt like so stupid.
But they don't say Shimon.
They say Simon.
Yeah.
And you say Simon for some reason.
Sure.
Because Simon's still in English.
How mad is to trip over your tongue?
Because Simon's in English names.
It's written as Shimon.
But they're saying Simon in English.
Well, in the English one.
Let's just call him Simone.
We'll lead halfway and jump off the bridge and call him Simone.
There we go.
Sure.
Fighting games.
Let's call him Seaman.
Fuck it.
Seaman.
Seaman.
Bring it back.
Yeah.
When's the new Seaman game?
You remember the rumors for that on the 3DS?
Yeah.
People coming out and going, what the fuck?
Why would we ever make a new Seaman game?
We like money.
What are you fucking crazy?
It was going to be called Seaman.
You could have more than one.
Shut up.
You could have more than one.
I wouldn't play that.
And it works with the trans vibrator.
God.
No.
There we go.
Let's get away from this now.
Please.
I get it.
Killer Instinct got patched.
Doc Matt talked about, you mentioned that the Spinal is a cool and all that stuff.
The trailer was really hyped though.
That was one of the most over wowed, you went above and beyond.
I remember when I talked to Filthy Rich about trailers, he's like, I work slavishly on these trailers.
So again, I know you addressed KI, but I wanted to bring up some of the stuff you didn't address.
Sure.
Like the jail system?
Like the jail system.
So for some it's super great.
Yes, because basically.
Basically what we said.
It's what we've all been theoretically talking about.
Other games have been doing this.
Well, other games have said they were doing it.
But we've yet to prove it.
We've never been in action.
Tatsunoko apparently did it.
No one's been able to confirm where not the Marvel one even existed.
Tatsunoko was the first game to announce doing it.
Marvel announced that they were doing it as well.
To explain what it is right there.
This is Rage Quit Hell, where anyone who Rage Quits too much or has too much of a disconnect rating.
15%.
For KI, but in general, this was the idea that Rage Critters get paired up with Rage Quitters.
The problem is that those...
I believe League of Legends and Dota also did this.
So the previous fighting games we mentioned, they've never been able to prove it completely.
People who Rage Quit a lot still seem to get matched up with normal people.
Why do they ever?
So this is the first time that it seems like it's being made evident and tangible.
Not tangible, but clear to everyone.
First things first, when you go to jail, there's your fucking...
Rogo, Avatar, whatever.
Icon changes to fucking jail bars.
You are now in jail.
So you know, if everyone you play and your icon is the same, you fucked up.
Exactly.
If you have a disconnect rating of 15% or higher, you go to jail.
That's correct.
You go to jail for a predetermined amount of time.
Five is 24 hours.
It starts as 24 hours, your next defense doubles.
Shit.
And then it goes up to a maximum of five days.
That seems right.
I wonder how high they tested it too.
I wonder how high breaks the system.
Well, it's funny you mentioned.
120 hours is...
No, it's a cap.
It'll never go over 120 hours.
Yeah, it's not an hour.
Yeah, and so basically while you're in jail, your icon has a thing that tells everyone you're there.
You're a loser.
You can only fight against other jail people.
And regardless of whether or not your disconnection rating continues to go above 15%, when your time is up, you're released.
But if your next match after being released...
Gets a single disconnect.
...then you're back in fucking jail.
Yeah, so...
Max, Max Amelian has been talking about how that doesn't seem to be working right now.
There's something busted.
Where everyone's going to jail and it's easier to get matches in jail right now than it is to get them out of jail.
For an hour, I didn't see any problems, but I'm assuming some people have problems.
You're still a free man.
Yeah.
Yeah, well, I've never disconnected a similar game once.
Well, Max Amelian seems like the kind of guy who would know what the fuck he was talking about.
Yeah, no, no.
He knows, but it's not like he disconnects.
He just hears about people.
Well, he's in jail right now.
Shut up.
Yeah, because the game has a...
Spinal has some kind of teleport glitch that'll crash the game.
Oh, no.
And he zoned out.
He dashboarded to get out, and when he went back in, despite it only being one disconnect out of 100 matches, he's in jail.
Okay.
It seems to be too sensitive right now.
Well, he's the kind of guy that would know because fucking Benny has a color in the game.
Yeah.
So what?
Benny's been shilling too hard.
I was saying to Pat earlier today, if we ever go to the dumbest plan ever, if we ever go to LA again, I should bring Zach.
Yeah, you're going to bring your fucking cat all the way to Los Angeles.
I should meet Max and say, let's just throw our pets in a room and record what happens.
And just put life bars above in the video.
And just see.
They start hugging and playing around, and the life bars are going down.
You start photoshopping in some street fighter moves and some flashes.
Get some toast.
Get some blue shadow.
Yeah, fucking hype video.
Like those awesome sumo matches.
Yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking about.
Yeah, I'll do that.
Don't do that.
Don't bring your fucking pet on a plane.
I might.
The other bit about jail is that as soon as the match that sends you to jail is a loss.
So very important.
Nice.
Yeah.
So because of the offending match, like the player who you fucked over wins.
I forget where I heard it, but I remember seeing one of the bigger problems about determining like, you know, a guy rage quit on you.
And it's really obvious to you that they rage quit on you.
But it's somewhat difficult to actually determine who actually quit.
Initiated it, yeah.
Because all the game may know in some circumstances may be the fact that the connection was lost between the two parties, which is why jail is a better solution to that.
So if you can't figure out who everybody is and who's doing it, like, match by match, just look at the trend.
Yep.
People who rage quit, rage quit a lot.
More than a month.
No one rage quits like once in their life.
Yeah, you don't get, you don't get salty for that one moment and then continue.
No.
You're a total asshole.
You're going to rage quit all the way to the top of the line.
Yeah.
I was playing against a guy today and I was spinal and I was just, he was, obviously didn't know what he was doing because I was doing whatever and he was getting hit by everything.
And I heard him on my connector or whatever and he's going, dude, if they didn't have jail, I'd fucking rage quit on your ass right now.
System works.
System works.
Awesome.
Fucking applause to that.
That story makes me happy.
That shit needs to be in everything.
It needs to be in everything because like I had a nice, I had a good period of time where I would just message every one of them.
Me too.
I would go find your name.
Good for you buddy.
I'd send you a message.
I got an apology from someone.
That's whoa.
Saying, dude, I'm sorry.
I never usually do this, but yeah, I got very salty.
I hope to play you again one day.
I got that once too, but the guy was like, oh, somehow with my internet.
So whether or not it was true, I don't know.
Every single person I sent a message told me that what are you talking about?
You're the one who disconnected.
And then I go back to the replay.
It's like, yeah, I disconnected after a perfect first round and halfway through the second.
Like, okay, whatever.
You be a big boy.
You feel good about yourself.
It's so fucking mad.
If we got to round three, there might be some room for argument, but no, man.
If we get to round three, I'm willing to believe almost every time that it was an accident.
No, but if you're on round two, go fuck yourself.
Yeah.
And like, at first when I was doing this, because I do it on Street Fighter 4 as well,
it'd be like, I'd send them over to SRK.
Hey, go check out showyuken.com.
They've got some tips.
Learn how to get better at the game.
Just quit because...
That's douchey.
Oh yeah.
That is...
You are a giant man shaped salt shaker.
Doucheyer than rage quitting?
Yeah, exactly.
I don't know.
Exactly.
I think that's...
I think it's 1% less, which makes it okay.
Because it's straight up just like, no, man, don't get salty.
Just get better.
I think I rage quit once in my entire life, and that was the second match of Starcraft I ever played.
Oh, fuck you.
You did?
I did.
You piece of shit.
That's terrible.
That's really bad.
I was 13.
That's really bad.
You were a bad 13-year-old.
Yeah, a 13-year-old's not high with emotion at all.
The concept of it never even occurred to me until 4.
I never even...
I encountered it a bit in Third Strike on the original Xbox.
On Xbox.
And I was baffled because no one's playing this game, man.
There's like 13 guys online right now in the goddamn world.
Well, I'm going to see you again.
Gershman was the one that brought the CVS2 situation to light.
Yeah.
Because...
Way back.
He was one of the first guys that was going like, fucking assholes are playing the match
and quitting before they lose and ruining the game, like 10 years ago.
Fighting games and mobs like League of Legends and Dota are easily the most fucked up by this process.
Yeah.
When a guy in Call of Duty quits, it's one out of 12 people, and people who are matchmaking
will be slotted into that spot within like 80 seconds.
It's not that big of a deal for your regular gameplay mode, which is usually Team Deathmatch.
Right?
With Dota and League, you're playing like 40 minute matches.
Directly competitive.
Where five on five, where nobody can come in.
So if a guy quits, you're fucked.
Yeah.
You are fucked.
But would you say that that's worse than a one on one?
No, I say they're equal.
I say they're equally equal.
Because in Dota, you'll be 20 minutes into a match.
One of your shitbag teammates just says, fuck this, we're going to lose, I'm out.
And your team stands new team.
Everyone else on your team has now lost 20 minutes, and they have to keep playing the match so that they don't go to hell.
Right.
Okay?
And in fighting games, it's just as bad because that's all it is.
Yeah.
The whole game just dies when you do that.
You asshole.
So it's the difference between letting people down and just ruining the core game.
Yeah.
Well, ruining nine people's like time.
Somewhat.
Versus ruining.
Between invalidating the entire system.
The entire system.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The only difference.
It's like two minutes tops.
Exactly.
But still, it's a personal two minutes.
Yeah.
So if you're listening out there and you rage quit on people, fuck off.
Don't do it.
It's not bad.
Everyone hates you.
What?
We should get some PSAs going.
Like everyone hates you people to the point that there are technological solutions being
aimed to fix you.
That's how much you're ruining the game.
The companies making it who don't give a shit about you other than your money except a bit are trying to stop you.
No, no.
If there was a way to eliminate rage quitters from the pool and their sales along with it,
companies would do it because they damage a game.
If you told me that I could play a fucking shooter or a fighting game and I would have
to pay 10 bucks extra and no one would ever rage quit, I would easily pay that shit.
There would be no doubt.
We have a new anti-rage quitting system that works 100% of the, you know, whatever.
I'm going to go ahead and assume that you guys didn't play Marvel online during the first
week.
I played it online in the first week.
A little bit.
Yeah.
Okay.
No, not as much.
Finella.
Unplayable.
Unplayable.
There was a guy, I have a story.
There was a guy, I thought.
He never says that lightly.
Yeah.
There was a guy I played six times in a row and he quit every time.
Why did you play him the third, fourth, fifth, fifth time?
Because I just give a shit.
Anyway, I'm the auto match.
We'll put you guys back together.
Don't even give a shit if you go fast enough.
So I said to the message after the sixth one saying, can you just not quit?
And of course, the only message he could articulate was four letters, you mad with like 80Ds.
Oh yeah.
And I'm just like, what is wrong?
What is your life, bro?
What is wrong with this guy?
Well, don't do it, bro.
Well, it's the guy that's just, he doesn't care about games or whatever.
He's just popping it on to dick around and he's like, fuck this bullshit.
I'm losing it.
It's not fair.
I can't do anything.
I'm pressing buttons, but I'm not blocking.
I totally blocked that.
This bullshit is lagged.
You have to exploit a weakness in the packaging to even get in.
Good job, guys.
Yeah.
Anyway, we could do that need literally all day.
All day.
We could do it for 12, maybe 14 hours.
Start right now.
JoJo All-Star Battle.
Yep.
The localized version is coming out as we know.
And it will have physical release.
It will have a limited physical release on Amazon and their personal website.
Yes.
I know that because I bought it from their website.
Enjoy Digital River.
You are putting out a show of faith in the improvements that we hear are being made to
this game?
No, I'm not.
I just want it.
You just want JoJo stuff.
Oh, yeah.
All right.
No, fair enough.
Even if it's complete garbage, I just want it.
Yeah.
Just go stare at the model viewer.
Yeah.
Straight up.
But no, it's apparently, it's getting playable.
And Digital River, whatever.
It's going to show up eventually.
Eventually.
That's fine.
Yeah.
I know.
Get that physical card.
I will not be in a rush to make that video again.
Nope.
I'll probably do more research.
Little bit.
Little bit.
Research has proven to do good things.
Spring 2014.
Yeah.
So soon.
Sounds about right.
Could be any day.
Who knows.
Could be yesterday.
Up to mid-May.
Yeah.
Wait.
No, not even more than that.
June or whatever.
It'll come out before March 31st.
Whenever spring is rumored to end this year.
I can't wait to see the legal dodges on some of those character names.
Oh yeah.
It'll be, instead of ACDC, it'll be E-I-S-I-D-I-S-I.
S-E-D-C.
Yeah.
S-E-D-C.
Yeah.
Oh yeah.
There was some in the screenshots that people were pointing at.
I don't remember what they were, but like there was, people were already pointing them out.
K-H-A-R-S.
I don't know.
Cars.
I don't know.
You know.
WAMU.
WAMU.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
You know, you know the band it's supposed to be.
I know, I know, like close enough.
You've got your imagination by your side.
And if not, I can just look it up because the internet's free, man.
What is Japanese fascination with American rock, where everyone in bastard is also named after a band or a thing?
No, it's certain mangaka are just into it because they're of the right age.
Yeah.
The guy behind Beck, again, just listened to a ton of shit.
Like a lot of these guys are just influenced by very specific things.
It's like Yashiro Naito was influenced by Spawn and Todd McFarlane and Marvel Comics.
The fact that Blank was inspired by Spawn, it's still weird.
Kenshin.
Kenshin's author was super into Marvel Comics as well.
He has a character that looks exactly like Venom that attacks Kenshin during the manga.
Certain point of interest.
People have interest in certain things.
No, it's just what I mean is like just manga.
What's up with all us westerners being super into Japanese stuff?
I think part of another reason is that copyright law in Japan is very, very lax.
Very different, very weird.
You can name your character after a popular band and sell a million copies of that comic and no one will get up in your shit.
Okay, well dude, if you were printing a comic here and you had a character named Gact, who's gonna stop you?
That's my point.
Yeah, so it doesn't matter if it's from another country, fuck it.
They can't stop you.
Gact will stop you himself.
Gact will come to you and throw new Fist of the Roar stars at you.
Dude, he's single-handedly stopping Crisis Core from coming out again.
Again?
It's him.
He made it happen and then he stopped it from happening.
It's the music.
He's literally stopping it.
When you say single-handedly, I always think he goes up to Square Enix's office and just holds up his hand and the game just can't physically escape.
He's got his hand on fucking what's his face's forehead.
No, it's bursting around the edges and then he goes full Bujingeima and just follows it back.
For a second.
Gact! God damn it!
Why are you so pretty?
Yeah, no, there was an actual full episode of Harvey Birdman, attorney at law, explicitly about American bands stealing Japanese music and just redubbing the words, you know, type of thing.
So, you know, like, yeah.
Overseas?
That's a bull's-all comic.
Copyright guys.
You gotta go through maritime law.
All of it, right?
Let's go to the ocean.
Um, and yeah.
Then I can read my JoJo's in peace.
Everything's safe where there's no laws.
That's correct.
In the sky.
No, and on the seas.
And on the seas too.
You can have a monkey knife fight on the seas, no problem.
The sea is basically the sky of the ground.
Yeah.
That's deep.
That's deep.
That's like some, like, what's his face Smith stuff?
Uh, Jaden Smith.
Jaden Smith.
That's like some Jaden Smith shit.
What was the shit he said?
The mirrors and the eyes and the mirrors?
Uh, how can mirrors be real if our eyes aren't real?
Like, that kid is high.
Oh man.
All the time.
So yeah, like we mentioned earlier, Philip Seymour Hoffman died.
That sucks.
Um, what I told you guys today is like, oh, we all heard that.
I'm sure.
And then just CNN reports there was 50 bags of heroin.
Yeah.
That kind of makes it a lot less, uh, sad.
I was not aware that I'm not into the drugs.
So I was not aware that heroin comes in bags.
I thought it came in syringes.
Are you not familiar with the concept of a dime bag?
No.
Dime bag Darryl.
Or an eight ball.
No.
Well, I mean, like, they're not just going to sell you syringes.
Yeah.
You're thinking of Narc.
Now, not up to date, you are on your own product.
I thought, I thought you would go to a drug dealer and they would give you like a ready
syringe for you to just go.
Pat's thinking of the video game, Narc, where guys literally threw syringes at you as weapons.
But yeah, it really sucks because it's one of those like actors of you're old enough
that you're like, oh, that really sucks.
Yeah.
Because older actors die for whatever reason.
And it's like, oh, well, I was kind of, yeah, he's a guy.
Well.
Whatever.
But I really like Philip Seymour.
He died doing what he loved, being high on heroin.
Yeah.
I guess God needed a capote.
And, and, and Charlie Sheen's just like, can I have that heroin?
Really underrated bad guy in Mission Impossible 3.
Yes.
MI3 specifically.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Also, thanks to Plague for this piece of fucking news.
There it goes.
Oh, great.
That's Plague of Brights, creepy man animator extraordinaire.
And Pat's twin brother.
It's true.
Just like Liam's my son.
It's true.
Thanks, Pops.
You squeezed them out and everything.
A pair of the shit that came out of this dick.
Out of the shit, dick?
That's terrible.
Apparently fucking Disney is considering reviving Chip and Dale into a live action thing.
Oh, no.
Why?
Because Alvin and the Chipmunks wasn't bad enough.
Now Disney didn't do anything with that.
No, but that was your litmus test.
They could have said anything but live action.
I'd be like, yeah, why not?
So the only way that this is awesome, and it can be awesome.
I don't know.
Is if they just straight up get two Chipmunks and put little photos on them.
And have a really old-timey, like, 80s style, like, narrated adventure.
With two little Chipmunks going on little sets.
And just go at it.
Yeah.
This comes hand in hand.
Oh, that'd be awesome.
This comes hand in hand with some other Disney news.
Well, before you move into that, I was just going to say, also, fuck this announcement
on a whole other level for not being rescue rangers.
Yeah.
They might have a cameo.
True to that.
Because rescue rangers is so much better than Chip and Dale ever did.
Well, Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers.
Yes.
Which was the best version of that.
A lot of people don't even know that Chip and Dale was a thing other than rescue rangers.
That's the guys that dance and they're hot, right?
Yeah.
Yep.
Precisely.
That's what Disney's making.
The rescue rangers.
With the chipmunk noses and the cheeks that are filled with nuts.
I'm not sure if you entirely thought this joke out.
You saw it, but you didn't think it out.
You looked at it and it got worse and you just kept saying it.
That's how most of our stuff works.
You got to commit, man.
You can't back out.
Yeah.
Never back down.
You got to give me a break.
I'm all covered in shit.
So I was on Netflix the other day and I totally saw never back down one.
And I was like, oh, I want to watch it, but I got to wait for someone to be here with me.
You got to wait for me to come over.
I'll go over and watch it.
Let's watch it.
Watch it together.
Wow, Liam.
You sound excited.
I am excited.
Well, what's the other piece of Disney news?
So this comes hand in hand with supposedly tomorrow Tuesday, they're going to lay off hundreds of employees.
Nice.
Can't wait for that.
That was a pluralized hundred.
Jesus.
Supposedly.
Were they from any specific department?
No, I didn't read into it.
That was the headline.
Okay.
Let's hope it's from the group that's like ruining Marvel.
Yeah.
Wait, Marvel's being ruined.
I thought you're all hyped for the Winter Soldier.
No, we are.
That's because of Marvel.
And that's Marvel Studios.
That has nothing to do with Disney's influence.
Yeah.
I'm super curious.
Oh, I know.
The group that's ruining Star Wars as well.
The corpse of Walt.
You can't ruin Star Wars anymore.
Ruin more.
It's been ruined so thoroughly.
Anything you do to Star Wars isn't a problem.
You can write picture books.
You think so, but somehow when something sticks its head up that might be interesting, squashing
it back down and going, no 1313, never, never ever is still ruining it.
That's not the movies.
Did you think you can ruin Superman anymore?
Well, you can.
I always think you can ruin Superman more.
Well, you can when you cast fucking Mark Zuckerberg as Lex Luthor.
Lex Luthor.
Oh, yeah.
But who even cares what's being done?
No one.
When you still told me that the director is the director of Man of Steel, you've ruined
it already.
It doesn't matter.
I recently saw the Tornado scene from Man of Steel.
Damn, I thought you were going to say the entire movie.
You saw it because of the Neogaps topic.
I did.
And I was just like, that is one of the shittiest scenes I've seen in a movie ever.
The Tornado scene from Man of Steel.
Did you see the part where Father Kent's like, no, don't save anyone?
Yeah, exactly.
Don't do anything.
No.
Father Kent lets himself die for a dog for no reason.
In order to fuck Superman's feelings up about being Superman.
I don't know if everyone ranted about, we did rant about this right after seeing himself.
But just the idea that Father Kent has to be such a sterling example of morality to take
the only guy that could fuck up the world and make him not give in to his ego ever.
You've got to be such-
Father Kent have to be goddamn safe.
You have to be perfect.
They have to be the best parents.
That's why they're washing this.
That's why they're farmers out in Kansas.
As salt of the earth, the best people out in.
No fucking half and halves.
And then you get this guy that's like, should you have saved that bus full of kids?
Maybe not.
Maybe not.
Maybe you should have been selfish and let a school bus of children die.
Maybe that would have been a good idea.
It's up to you.
Also, Clark, think about this, maybe if you want, you can just push bus fills of kids
off cliffs.
I'm just saying.
Just putting the options out there.
As long as your secret is safe.
Never get caught committing crimes.
Always live, Lark.
That's the American way.
Like, holy shit, I know Superman fan, but that is outrageous.
The original script that Kevin Smith saw said that scene was completely different.
Oh, yeah.
So just wait for Justin Timberlake to be cast as Perry or some shit like that.
That would be great.
Cast Terry Hatcher as Lois Lane.
You'll be the first in line to pre-order.
So can we just start getting the pictures of fucking Spider-Man versus Lex Luthor?
Can we just get that going?
Yeah.
Oh shit, of course.
They made Facebook.
Eduardo Savern and Mark Zuckerberg.
Spider-Man and Lex Luthor made Facebook.
Really quickly, we're all in the subject.
There was some sort of football game recently.
I don't care.
Anyway, but the movie trailers came out.
What's a football?
I don't know.
Is that some poor shitty substitute to hockey?
Oh, you mean Sea King versus Rapidash?
Yeah, yeah.
I love it when nerds are like, fuck this.
They're taking it over.
They're taking it over.
You can't have it.
And they're like, no, give it back.
But I already saw the Captain America trailer was good.
Did you just look at the platinum moment?
What's the platinum moment in that trailer of Captain America?
Yes.
What is it?
The moment where the Winter Soldier is sliding down the ground.
And he's got the head down pose with the sparks coming out.
Thank you.
But along with that, there's the Spider-Man 2 trailer,
which was really long and it was basically one of those trailers.
Here's the movie.
Boy, did they show a thing that I would have been shocked to see in the theater.
And I'm really glad I saw it in the trailer.
Well, I'm kind of upset about the thing that they showed in the Captain America trailer
that I didn't want to see.
Oh, what's that?
The character.
Oh.
That we had not seen up until now.
Content spoilers.
Yeah.
What about the zoom in on the character's fucking face?
That's like, we're not going to hide this shit at all.
What are you talking about?
The Falcon.
He was in the first trailer.
Mm-hmm.
Was he?
Yeah.
His suit comes on and everything.
Doing the whole thing?
Yeah.
And this trailer is way more of him, but he was in the first trailer.
Wow, I super didn't catch it.
I also didn't see that.
It was in there.
This seemed to be like the, oh, yo, check it out.
It's the Falcon.
But also, who are you talking to?
Like, I saw the first trailer.
I know.
Sure.
But I just...
The thing that bothers me.
But everyone should know who the Winter Soldier is.
Well, I didn't.
But then I did.
I asked you if you wanted to...
Because I looked at it.
Oh.
That's not even a mystery.
Yeah, I know.
That's weird to me, because the trailer is, who could he possibly be?
It's like...
Well, they don't...
It's that guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And similar with the Spider-Man trailer, it's like, oh, you dubbed out the snap.
Did you guys see the Transformers trailer?
It's so strange.
I did?
It looked...
Dude, it can't...
My eye rolled out of my head when I saw a Transformer parachuting down with two giant Oozies.
I'm so glad I tapped out of that for Oozies.
No, you have to watch them.
No, but when you say that, there's Dinobots, so...
But he knows how to get you in.
It didn't even bounce out for me.
Because seeing that Transformer parachuting down with dual Oozies...
Just slides the moment where I say, why the fuck is a Transformer doing that?
Just like the 101st Airborne would have done.
But also the Dinobots, though.
No, I'm not.
I'm not nearly as easy as that.
Just like Optimus Prime would have done.
I think those Transformers movies are some of the worst garbage ever.
I'm so glad I saw all of them.
Finger in the air, that being said.
This is audio.
No Shia LaBeouf in this one, so...
Woo!
Mark Wahlberg.
Mark Wahlberg.
Actual cannibal Shia LaBeouf is not in.
To me, this is because it didn't meet Shia LaBeouf's quality standards.
No, it's a performance part.
A plagiarism?
He looked at the script and he said this isn't good enough.
Hold on!
Hold on, you guys aren't up to business.
You're making a joke, but also Michael...
It isn't Jeff.
Michael Bay was like, no, we're done with him.
I'm not giving him.
No, I'm sure that's actually good.
You guys are not up to date on the Shia LaBeouf...
Gates?
LaBeef?
...shenanigans.
What was the last thing?
Shia LaBeouf came out and said it was all a performance art piece.
No, he didn't!
On house, social media.
Fool's our prospectus.
And the guy who wrote the comic was in on it.
Tell them the story to be...
Shia LaBeouf basically made some independent film that got caught being a one-to-one shot,
incredibly plagiaristic piece of shit of a famous comic.
Daniel Close.
He wrote Ghost World and a bunch of other great stuff.
A school confidential.
Yeah, and then plagiarized his apology over and over and over again,
and then said he was gonna quit acting and retreat from the public life.
Yeah, and he said it and he said,
because I mean he's like such a huge fan and he was so embarrassed,
and then like he tweeted it over and over and got weird about it.
I got caught up in the creative process and I didn't realize I was...
And everyone turned on him for being a dirtbag.
And then he fucking said, he said he made a tweet saying the sky,
and then he took a picture of a plane that spelled out,
I'm sorry Daniel Close, in the sky.
Yeah.
He air wrote to me.
And he has now come out and said that it was all a ruse.
It was a performance art piece to show you how social media can fuck with you.
And so he's gone from being a plagiarist to a huge troll asshole.
So the movie that he made...
Yes, to begin with was part of the art piece.
Supposedly.
Getting caught was all part of his cake accident.
Do you remember?
This is the equivalent of getting caught and saying you mad though.
Yeah, yeah.
Shilah Poof biting into that chip.
Do you remember like two years ago where Joaquin Phoenix seemingly went crazy?
Joaquin.
Joaquin.
I thought it was Joaquin.
Joaquin Phoenix.
Oh, that's bullshit.
Anyway, he went on talk shows and just had ruffled hair and sunglasses and mumbled.
This is after he played The Man in Black?
Yes.
Okay.
And then he mumbled and then David Letterman...
Acting like a crazy person.
Yeah, acting like a crazy person.
When he was on The David Letterman Show, David Letterman said, oh, it's really great having
you here.
Are you here?
Are you not?
I remember that.
And that was a huge, I'm actually playing a character.
And when it's an actor like him...
Yeah, sure.
But you're Shilah Poof.
You're a little shit that makes shitty movies.
I'm trolling people over Twitter.
Like what?
Yeah.
It's art.
Fuck you.
Shilah Poof is now Andy Kaufman apparently.
No.
No, it's Andy Kaufman.
Like maybe Jim Carrey.
Maybe Jim Carrey.
Maybe Jim Carrey.
But...
But just like...
Performance art is not an excuse to just be an asshole.
Yeah.
I believe it.
And like, I don't...
Like, I don't even care if that's true at this point.
You know what I mean?
Well, like, you can't say, haha, you guys love Zelda a lot.
Zelda's garbage.
Ah, performance art!
Like, it doesn't work.
I told you.
Wasn't that interesting?
Like, performance art doesn't excuse you.
But also, you can't fuck up and then blame it on performance art in the other inverse direction.
It could be any which way.
Yeah.
But it's like, no, it's like, if there was another dude that was like a short ginger and like
a guy with a skull on his head that were doing let's play videos in like fucking another
country or whatever.
Yeah.
And you just ate that shit and just brought it over.
Yeah.
And you're like, no, the whole plan was to get caught all along.
And he knows what anything really means, man.
Man, that Transformers trailer.
How can our eyes be real?
Oh, it's on.
Everything connected just dies.
That being said, I can't wait to see what new insane bullshit bait shoves into it.
What's the next thing?
The last one?
The last one had shots of Leonard Nimoy Transformers just glassing humans with a gun.
Yeah.
Right?
So if that's an Optimus Prime straight up decapitating Megatron.
Yeah.
So if that's as far as he's willing to go with robot violence and how stupid the movie
is, I can't wait to see.
Do you see the trailer?
No.
Megatron rides Dino.
I just said he was decapitated.
Well, something that looks like Megatron is riding Dino Bob.
Okay.
That sounds really dope.
I can't.
I can't.
That sounds really dopey.
Okay, now here's the other thing though.
Fucking Ninja Turtles.
Yeah.
It doesn't look stupid.
Controversial.
It doesn't look stupid.
Those little mechettes look cool.
It doesn't look stupid, but on film it could still look stupid.
So you ought to go back and watch the first one.
So we've seen those dummies or suits or whatever.
Dude, I watched the first one every couple of years.
I think the first one still looks great.
The second and third one look like shit.
So the first screen shots.
That's right.
You're right.
The look of mechettes for the Ninja Turtles movie being done by Michael Bay have come
out.
Not produced by Michael Bay, directed by a completely different guy.
And Shredder as well.
They don't look awful, but everyone was already, including me, was already on the train that
what the fuck, they're aliens and not...
Well, no, the aliens thing was real.
And they got rid of it and were they're playing it down or something?
Yeah.
They didn't say it's gone, but it's not as pronounced.
And then we see like the shots of them and they've got like bamboo armor and stuff and
they look like Ninja Turtles.
Do you know what it reminds me of?
It reminds me of those DeviantArts you would see years ago.
You're like, oh, that looks sick.
Remember that one where they were all different kinds of turtle?
Like the right by L was a snapping turtle?
Yeah, like their beaks were a little weird and everyone was dying.
One was like a Galapagos.
I kind of like it, but I still think their faces are a bit lumpy.
Yeah, no, you're not wrong.
Shredder looks awesome.
So yeah, the shredder turning into predator.
Yeah.
Because it reminds me of Super Shredder.
It reminds me of Super Shredder from Ninja Turtles 2.
Second one.
When is this movie supposed to take place?
When?
When.
Because like all the shots I've seen, it could be anywhere.
It's a reboot, isn't it?
Yeah, but is it like Age in Japan or what?
No, it's not.
There's nothing.
Megan Fox is in it.
Okay.
And there is a screenshot of her as April walking with a big covered up turtle in a costume.
Good.
Okay.
What is the big rafts going to get with April this time?
He always does.
He always does.
This is the one where you want to.
Yeah.
If Sonic can get it, I can't raft get it.
Sonic can really get it.
The thing about fucking Megan Fox though...
Oh, fuck everything.
Oh my god.
Fuck everything.
The thing about fucking Megan Fox was like, you have to wonder, it's like, did she get
thrown a bone because of the Transformers we asked for?
She blew up my Michael Bay and Michael Bay just kicked her off.
Remember?
Well, you didn't see Transformers 3.
You didn't see Transformers 3.
She was just removed.
She's gone.
And then tribal fool goes, yeah, it didn't work out.
Yeah.
It was so abrupt.
She was excised.
Were they setting up plot points for her?
No.
No.
It was super abrupt.
She was there to be hot on camera.
Wow.
Because she can't fucking act.
It's like Assassin's Creed.
Like, oh, now there you go.
Later.
You're dead.
You want how much for the next game?
No, you don't get it.
It's a Kickstarter with you.
Yeah, good one.
Anyway, no, I'm surprisingly impressed by what I saw there.
Yeah.
Didn't scare me or scar me.
So this is Bay, right?
Producing.
Producing.
Okay, well, we were all excited for Transformers because of bad boys.
So now we should all be cynical about Ninja Turtles because of Transformers.
You're saying Armageddon didn't get you hyped up?
It's okay.
It's so, it's so, it's so okay.
But the nice thing about Armageddon is because in Transformers 1, Michael Bay had that joke
written into Transformers 1 saying, this is way better than Armageddon.
Some guy when he's getting beat here is coming down.
So he needs to take some piss out of his shit that he knows his shit.
Armchair CEO.
Let's go.
From Michael Bay?
No.
WWE.
Oh.
Very interesting.
Yeah.
Oh, I love this.
So have we talked about Cena?
No.
Let's go.
That's Cena crisis.
So, because we talked about what we watched last time.
That's correct.
I'm introducing it a little bit late in the show, but let's get it done.
It was quicker than the war home.
Yes.
So Monday Night Raw, CM Punk fucking walks out and everyone is giving you shit for the
pay-per-view botch that you just put out that was the Royal Rumble.
The whole pay-per-view was botched.
We covered the reasons why.
It's crazy.
What do you do?
You're Vince.
Okay.
I'll just talk this off really quickly.
You do exactly what you're doing right now in the sense that you play up the whole,
like old Austin versus McMahon angle.
You play this up and we don't know if the whole CM Punk thing is probably real.
You probably just actually walked out.
Yeah.
It's not a work.
It's not a work.
It's done.
But if he's done, that's fine.
But what you actually have to do is that you have to actually do what people want you
to do, which is give the guys that are over what they should have, but you play up the
whole, Batista should be in the thing for WrestleMania, but he should be against Daniel
Bryan.
Yeah.
You actually play up the fact that Batista hates the fact that this little shrimpy guy
is way over there.
I love that, but here's the thing.
How crazy interesting would it be if the storyline was the fact that the company is
writing bad storyline?
Yes!
Isn't that insane?
I don't think this is armchair CEO because I think we all agree the same thing.
They should have a storyline in which Batista is a whiny child that the walkout after the
rumble in which he flipped off fans and freaked out because everyone wanted Bryan and everyone
hated him and everyone started cheering for a heel to win at the rumble instead of him
who's supposed to be coming back as a face.
Turn him into a heel, make him the forefront of the McMahon dynasty of writing shit, and
have Bryan be the new goddamn Stone Cold, not in tone, but in terms of like, push me!
He's already the hero.
I'm so over!
He's already the hero.
The problem with that is that you said turn Batista into that thing.
That wouldn't require Batista being around.
The problem, part of the reason why CM Punk walked was because Batista and Brock are...
The Rock and Brock.
And Brock.
These are all part-time superstars.
Then you bring out Bryan and you have him publicly go why the fuck are these part-timers
getting all this shit?
This is garbage.
Have him beat a fucking Orton.
Build up to the next pay-per-view, have him beat Orton, get the title, then have him
obviously be the match at WrestleMania because he's the defending champ.
But the idea of you beating the storyline that was written against you is the ultimate.
There is gold, there are diamonds in this shit, but that man has to actually put his
hand in the shit and pull it out.
Like Daniel Bryan starts winning and McMahon comes out and goes, stop the match!
You're supposed to lose.
You could do that for months, it'd be riveting.
If against all odds, this is what they wrote, by the end Batista will get beaten down by
both Daniel Bryan and CM Punk shockingly returning at the last minute.
Yeah, CM Punk comes out of nowhere to tip the scale.
The main event.
Because that would be a nutsus.
And McFoolie comes back in and he's like, totally like fuck you McMahon, let this guy
have his day.
I'm ripping up the script in front of everybody on Monday Night Raw.
McFoolie was very public about his discussion about the Rumble and McFoolie is about as
big of a fucking saint in this business as you can get now in terms of fans love him.
Get Foolie in and have Foolie just talk about how shit Vince is and have him do the fucking
work, just do the whole thing, real, just real.
And he showed up last time to basically be the guy that was the foil as the commissioner
to Vince and what they all wanted.
Just do that.
Again, ripping up the script in front of Triple H and everybody like, no, I don't give a fuck
what your writers say.
The only way out of this mess is to go super, super, super meta, super meta.
The one thing I'd also do is that people in the wrestling circles want this for years
is that you can make John Cena an awesome heel.
Totally.
And there's a million ways you could approach it.
Until the kids love him.
Make him a child like Paul Kogan.
I love how I still can't figure out exactly what Liam's deal is with John Cena.
Liam is the guy that yells, let's go Cena, Cena sucks, but he does both.
But yeah, I do that and the whole if it would be Daniel Bryan versus anyone at WrestleMania
that would be the most over matched, it would be the most like one sided thing and the crowd
would go the nutsest ever.
Call that arc, that story arc, the death of K-Fabe.
The death of K-Fabe.
K-Fabe 2.
You should probably explain what that means.
No, no, the smart marks, no, smart marks.
Everybody else is just marks.
Let's have a quick word from our sponsors.
My friends.
Yes, Woolly.
The last time I spoke to you, I told you about the virtues and awesome features of Hulu
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Extold the virtues.
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And certain game consoles can also play Hulu Plus.
We own game consoles.
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That sounds ridiculous, but what could possibly be the catch to this magic ring?
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Dude, I demand content on demand.
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All the big ballers in life.
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Right?
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I was uncerved.
But now you could be served forever.
So guys, get this.
Hulu Plus.
Right.
Right.
You go to huluplus.com slash super.
Uh-huh.
You check out the two week trial.
Uh-huh.
You can see for yourselves how much awesome stuff they've got going on.
Dude, that's crazy.
Two weeks?
Two weeks?
You could watch tons of shit in two weeks.
And when you like it because we know you're gonna, it's only $7.99 a month.
That's not stupid.
You could watch like 40 seasons of stuff in that time.
I spent more than that on a sandwich today that made me sick.
You bought another sandwich.
I could not eat that sandwich, not get sick, and then get a whole month of content.
But check out the two weeks first at huluplus.com slash super.
What do you want to check out over there?
You want to catch up on the cold bear report?
I do.
You want to watch Misfits?
Yeah.
Pat, where'd you leave off on one piece?
It doesn't matter.
You can catch up to all of it.
Like $2.70.
I love Third Rock from the Sun.
I would love to watch that.
It does look like.
They have a good doctor.
They've got Keen Peel.
Have you watched Keen Peel?
Not really.
It's hilarious.
I love those guys.
They're super fun, and it's almost like they took up from where the Chappelle show left
off.
But if you haven't seen Chappelle's show, you can check that out too.
And if you have seen Chappelle's show, watch Chappelle's show again.
Who likes Daria?
I liked Daria when it was a thing.
Is it still a thing now?
It's a thing on demand whenever you want.
Can I pretend it's Opry Plaza?
Yes.
I can do that then.
Guys, really, get on it.
We're truly living on the edge of tomorrow.
The edge of tomorrow plus today.
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Great stuff.
Thanks for supporting the show, Hulu Plus.
Thank you.
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Gentlemen.
Yes?
There's a time that happens every week, and I do believe it might be my favorite time
of the week.
Oh, no.
You have your man period.
It's not wooly time.
It is wooly time.
No, wooly, no.
Wooly time is kind of like Vader time, but a lot darker.
It's slower.
What?
It can't be slower than Vader, guys.
It can't be slower than Vader.
It's email time.
It's time to read some questions.
Oh, thank God.
If you got to send a letter in, send it to superbestfriendcast at gmail.com.
Hit me once again.
That is superbestfriendcast at gmail.com.
Never changes.
Never changes.
Again, we say it every week, just so you would know.
The first question comes to us from, actually, it's the same question asked by both Phil
and Richard.
They want to know their super best friends.
Phil, too.
Yeah.
Is this two different emails?
Two different emails, and I'm putting together their questions.
Richel, Richel, Richel.
What their powers combined.
What bar is each one of you?
I don't know what that means.
Well, bar is either what colors would you associate yourself with a candy bar?
If you had to be represented by a candy bar, chocolate bar, whatever.
No.
Let's represent a pack.
Now, is this in, like, the candy bar's, like, taste describes you?
No.
Individuals.
I would go coffee, Chris.
The rapper.
People like coffee.
No.
Your colors.
Your colors.
People don't.
But the people who like coffee really like it.
I think it goes with stripes and he has a pat.
But see, there you go.
But Pat's colors are orange, bitter, orange, light green, and cocky are your colors.
I'd say for Pat, it's a package of red hots.
Because they're tiny and really hot.
You can have three muscle hearts.
I like a chocolate orange or a butter finger.
Yeah, I guess.
There's some green on that.
There's some orange on that.
Yeah.
And it's a big, horrible ball of deliciousness.
And you can smack it really hard.
That's correct.
That splits into pieces.
That's correct.
That is a lot like me.
There you go.
Chocolate orange.
Fall apart.
And it's delicious.
Obviously, because I'm so regal, it's a Toblerone.
Oh, you fuck yourself.
No.
How about that?
Oh, man.
I don't know.
With your fucking trying chocolate.
That's a tough question.
I'm looking at Liam and I think Smarties.
I think of Box of Smarties.
No, I think of Pocky.
Oh, God.
Of course.
Liam's a Box of Pocky.
That's not even far off.
You're Pocky, man.
I think of, but I was like, no, that's not quite right.
It's Pep, the Cadbury mint one.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
That's the one I was thinking of.
Okay, yeah.
See, this is fun.
Yeah.
We should do this more often.
This is one of the weirdest questions.
I'm going to say that despite the fact that I hated myself.
That's good.
That's good for your thing.
I'm a mint arrow.
Yeah.
Because I was green and I got the yellow.
And your chocolate.
And there's chocolate.
Why yellow?
Why yellow?
Because the bottom.
He's got yellow under the wrapper.
You have the yellow gold wrapping.
Oh, sure.
Sure.
Oh, yeah.
So you've got it.
They don't package them like that anymore.
Oh, do they?
I don't think they do the paper over the form anymore.
Your gold is gone, dude.
I'm pretty sure they're just wrappers now.
Well, that's what it was.
That's what it was.
Green and gold and then chocolate on the inside.
I hope they still package it like that.
Matt, we have to go see this.
Liam already said it.
I think three musketeers is pretty good.
It's light.
It's still chocolate.
And it's got page red.
It's got page red.
It's got not red, yellow.
Red, red, blue.
Sorry, red, red, blue.
Red, red, blue.
I guess there's others too, but let's just leave it at that.
Butterfinger.
Butterfinger?
No one's a butterfinger.
Keep slipping out of my hands.
Keep slipping out of my hands.
Oh, Bart.
Remember that?
No.
Shut up.
Fucking Simpsons.
That one had the green shirt or the blue shirt?
Yeah, the blue shirt.
Fuck it.
You never had a green shirt.
You had a blue shirt.
Don't have a cow, guy.
Man.
No, no.
I'm talking about, like, black Bart Simpson.
Yeah.
On the back of a t-shirt.
Yes, black Bart.
The meaties.
Don't have a cow, man.
Oh, shitty knockoff crap is the best.
It is.
I still love that one Sonic the Hedgehog backpack.
The meaties love me.
It says Obama on it, and the colors are all red.
I can't wait to meet the...
It's a little kid's backpack made in China, and it's got Sonic in his pose, and it says
Obama.
And the colors are all off.
Yeah, he's green.
And his eyes are yellow.
I can't wait to meet the inevitable, like, Russian knockoff version of us.
Also, if you saw the Mishima...
Someone make that.
If you saw the Mishima episode of Batman Arkham Origins, I looked hard and long to find that
fucking...
Then Bruce Wayne found equipments in his villa that turned him into another person.
I can't believe you never said what it was.
It's a bad box.
It's a bad box.
It's a card.
Toy.
Yeah, I know.
I know, but in the video you never said what it actually was that you were reading.
So many people already knew and was just filling people that didn't know, so the work was done
from it.
When I was skipping through that video, I noticed that, and I had to hunt for all the segments
of that.
It's a fucking Ryan dad box.
We should play the card game.
A Spider-Man?
A Spider-Man.
TC asks Smash sets.
Guys, if you had...
If you guys are characters in Smash Brothers, what would your Up B be?
Well, he said Smash sets, but I'm saying...
Let's just say Up B.
It'd be called Rising Superstar.
We don't have time for all of it.
Of course it would be.
I thought of one of them for all of you guys.
I've got my own call.
You've been working on this for years.
I got one.
I got one right away.
The Rising Rubber Fist.
I know mine.
Okay, so I think Liam should be the catcher rising star.
The star that comes flying from underneath you.
You grab it.
You ride upwards.
Totally Kirby's air ride.
Of course, that's exactly what I was thinking.
And then you fall off of it.
I think Matt should just do Freedom Rising with the eagle wings and the fucking Patriot
streak coming out of your ass.
That's not what I would do.
What would you do?
What would you do?
My Up B would be called Ropey Streams, right?
Shoot out of Ropey Streams.
Like Spider-Man.
Like Spider-Man.
And grapple to the top of the stage or whatever.
Like Samus' energy whip.
Totally acceptable for a fucking Smash game.
Just to be clear, I expect the Rising Star to continue as a projectile.
Oh, and you fall off.
That's my expectation.
Okay, so it brings you a certain distance.
Totally acceptable for the Smash game that we're in.
Hey, man.
Sega.
Yawg's cast.
Never say never.
That's true.
Rising Rubber Fist guy.
No.
It's basically Mario's Up B but wobblier.
But my Wonder Red can't be in.
What's your pick?
Do you want the Rubber Fist or Wonder Red?
Mine for Pat was the Flame Comover that just shoots really high out of your head and launches
you upwards.
It's not that bad.
Because your Down B would be a lava beer.
Like Ivy's Thorpe?
Or it would just be shooting out of him.
Yeah, you know.
You bastard.
Flame Comover and Lava Beer.
What did you say yours would be?
The Rising Rubber Fist.
Rising Rubber Fist.
They're all over again.
I don't even have a Comover, you fuck.
Not yet.
No, but the Flame Comover.
No, not never.
The Comover is a sign of weakness.
You lost your hair, bro.
Give up.
Stop holding on.
And I don't even know for me, like I was gonna say like a Bionic Zip, you know, like
because I think that's cool.
Well, your hair grapples on.
My hair just becomes alive.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or an Up Ball, you know.
Your forward B would just throw a pie.
But I...
Yeah.
Well, no, no, no.
Here's what it is.
Here's what it is.
My forward B or back B would be exactly like Falco or Fox.
Of course.
My slash across you.
But if you're holding an item, I steal it.
That's really good.
That's really good.
That's really good.
That's really good.
Yeah, we can do this all day again.
Yo.
That was great.
Not very good for competitive play.
Not very good.
Terrible.
Terrible.
Yeah.
But if you're pulling out like...
Fun shenanigans.
But if it's a character specific item, I'll take it too.
No, shenanigans.
I love shenanigans.
Yeah, everyone loves shenanigans.
You know what?
You know what?
Let's make the appeal a bit universal.
If you have a charged, like punch or like shot, I take your charge.
Perfect.
I take your charge.
Sure.
It's great.
Stop stealing.
Take Lucario's aura away.
I stole it.
Poor guy.
Poor Pokemon.
So, an anonymous depressed gamer asks, recently I found myself growing tired of gaming.
I still get hyped and whatnot, but for some reason I find it hard to get the energy to
actually play.
Have you guys ever felt the same and how did you climb out of it?
Like every year.
Every year.
Every year you go through...
It happens.
Like at least a couple weeks of where you're like...
Couple weeks, yeah.
I'm wasting my life.
No, no.
The thing is, I got this, there's like three different versions of this that came in with
people going, have you ever just had a period where you're like, I don't even want to touch
games at all?
Totally.
Absolutely.
And like, you know what I'm saying?
In January, I was just like this fucking dreck.
Like this January...
Wow, it's this recent.
I was just like, I'm so fucking...
Like I wasn't going to ditch it because I was like there's games on the horizon I'm
excited for.
But what about old games that you didn't finish or you did?
I wasn't playing shit man.
January was a nothing month.
I was watching anime.
I find it happens to people that are way into the games industry and way into games
in general.
And what ends up happening is that it's not really that you're tired of games.
Is that you like games so much that you forget that you don't actually love every game that
comes out.
So you hit these periods where there's no game that really actually grabs you, but
they're good, right?
So you play them and they're fun, but you don't, there's no spark there.
So it always happens to me like once a year and then what pulls me out of it is something
comes out.
Then I go, oh yeah, this and then it comes back.
There's also a lot of buying games, but then...
Not playing them.
Not playing them.
Yeah.
Like Monster Hunter is probably a good example where I was like kind of in a rut and was like
current, whatever, I'll watch shows, all that.
And then I got into Monster Hunter and then I played hundreds of hours.
You see, no, like it's weird that you guys mention it so often because for me, there's
a very specific time that I remember because I never had this feeling of like, oh fuck
them and like entirely whatever.
And like it happened in 2005 from May to October.
I can see that.
Right.
It was very specific.
That was a shit time.
In 2005, Namco X Capcom came out and I borrowed my friend's PS2 and I fucking went to Mission
45.
I totally...
I see where this is going.
I see where this is going.
The same thing happened to me.
And I just fucking just burnt the fuck out of it.
It took it all out of you.
Took it all out.
And like it...
All the fire.
And there was also nothing coming out that I was interested in and I just fucking just
sat there and said, fuck this.
And I never...
I didn't want to touch any...
You never think, man, fuck video games.
You're just so like dissatisfied with whatever the current...
Whatever's on your plate.
Whatever's on your current plate.
Yeah.
That you're just like, oh...
But this emptied everything.
And I didn't touch anything until October 2005 when I bought my PS2 with Shadow of the
Fucking Colossus.
There you go.
Problem solved, dude.
I was going to say, it also seems there was so much choice.
There's almost too much.
It's paradoxical.
It paralyzes me sometimes.
Yeah.
I got that.
I'm just going to fucking watch blank.
What was that called again?
Because there's a name for that, the something of choice?
The excessive or something?
I don't know.
No, it's better.
Like being a prisoner.
The...
Being a prisoner of your...
I can't remember what it was.
It's the same.
I remember.
But it's basically...
It's people have it a lot in games like Skyrim or something like that.
And the game tells, go in every direction and you go, you don't want to go anywhere.
And that happens to me...
Paralyzed by choice.
Yeah, and that happens to me a lot when I look at my fucking Steam library.
And I go, what should I play?
I have 80 choices.
You know what I'm going to do?
I'm going to replay games that I know and I'm comfortable with.
I'm going to replay Revengeance.
I took some steps towards that.
So number one step was ignore my Steam library forever.
Give up on my Steam library.
Give up on my Steam library.
Keep it around.
And if you suddenly dislike...
If I suddenly go, oh, I need to finish Valkyria Chronicles right now.
Yeah.
I'll go to it.
But don't try and push yourself.
Well, the other thing is I took all the games I've beaten and put them on a totally different
shelf in a totally different room.
Totally.
So if I want to play a game, I use that shelf.
Well, I always just have this weird scenario in my head where I think, what if like, not
something major happened outside that was like a doomsday scenario, but if you just lived
up in a cabin with no internet for a while but electricity and you just had shit to go
through.
Yeah.
You could get some stuff done.
You could get some stuff done.
And I keep thinking of like a bunch of physical games in my back while I was perfect for that
time.
I am horrible for being paralyzed about playing games that I have because I'm excited for
games that have not come out.
So part of the reason I play so much more to her now is because all I want to do is play
Dark Souls 2.
It's all I want to do, but I can't.
Yeah.
So instead, I play something that is nice and comfortable and passes the time.
And passes the time.
Like whenever I start a new game, like the first thing in my head is like, I'm so excited
for Dark Souls 2.
You know, and it's horrible.
And that happens a lot with sequels where you didn't get to a sequel, right?
And then the new one's announced and you're like, oh, that looks really good.
I moved this other one that I own and haven't gotten time into away.
I'm a stupid idiot.
That being said, that happens to everybody, I feel, but it can also be a sign of actual
depression if you don't enjoy anything that you enjoy.
And if that is the case, you should probably look up online and see if you have symptoms
of depression and maybe talk to somebody close to you and maybe go see a doctor.
Because that's one of the main things of things that used to bring you joy no longer.
Yeah.
You don't want to get out of bed and you don't want to play games anymore.
That could just be you're fucking tired from work or something.
And you know, games or shit.
Or you might want to see somebody about that.
Or just wait for Shovel Knight.
Or just wait for Shovel Knight.
Or pick up any Platinum game.
Oh, Shovel Knight's side steps.
That's so good.
Because it's so awesome.
Well, sure.
But seriously, you might want to talk to somebody in progress.
Absolutely.
At least you're sure it's just video games.
Nick from Pittsburgh wants to know, what is your tier list of revengeance boss themes?
Now, I have a basic thing.
That's tough.
That's tough.
Here's mine.
This listing business is the only thing I know for real.
The Sundowner on the lowest part of all of them.
Because it's horrible.
No, here's the thing.
Take Sundowner.
Put it on the bottom.
That's correct.
Right?
And then start with the end of the game.
And go backwards.
And we're backwards.
I would agree with you with the only difference being kick Nistral.
No.
A couple notches.
Up.
Up.
Yeah.
I think Stranger I Remain deserves to be closer to the top.
But the soundtrack generally gets better the farther you go in the game.
For me, I got to go Hot Wind Rising in third place though.
Really?
Oh yeah, I love that song.
It's great.
But we can all agree that in general the soundtrack gets better the farther you go.
The final two boss themes are the best.
The tongs in the entire game.
In that order.
Right?
So again, yeah.
Reverse order.
Exactly.
Drop Sundowner, kick up Nistral, and go backwards through the list.
And aside from a couple outliers, depending on personal taste, you're there.
Well, and Hot Wind Rising is wherever you feel like putting it.
Yeah.
Because when we first placed Revengeance when we got on the midnight sale, it was when
Stranger I Remain kicked in.
I started going that side side side.
That was the moment where you're like, I get it now.
No, I thought of four, but now it's in me.
But that's the super get it.
Like if you didn't get it before.
I mean, Rules of Nature is the first impact.
Dude, we've told the story a million times.
And we can tell a million more.
You were just at work while he was playing it, and we stood up yelling in the office.
Not caring at all for indoor voice.
And then the developers in the office were like, what's this stupid Japanese thing?
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then later they were found trying to do combos.
Yeah.
Failing.
Oh man.
That's a good question.
It's a pretty good one.
Yeah.
It's not bad.
Stuart asks, more games need power vocals as their boss sleeps.
Yep.
Yep.
Stuart wants to know, yo, Matt, which do you prefer as a better prequel to Alien?
AVP or Prometheus?
Oh, this is you, motherfucker.
You, motherfucker.
You have to make one cannon.
Well.
Which is again, that is, boys, your breath is like breathing on me.
I'm pretty sure the worst thing you did two years ago was watch Prometheus.
But AVP has to replace it if you say no to Prometheus.
I know.
It's not an easy answer.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, man.
I'm going to say AVP.
Oh, well.
That's a ballsy decision.
It's a ballsy decision.
I'm not 100% comfortable with doing it.
But my expectations of AVP were like in line with the movie.
Yeah.
Prometheus was completely out of whack with my expectations.
How do I put this?
I totally agree with you.
And I think the reason is because AVP is kind of schlock, but it just exists by itself.
Consistent schlock.
As schlock, whereas Prometheus puts its fingers in everything and fucks everything up and
is just baffling.
Yeah.
Baffling is a way to the end.
Everything makes more sense and is easier to live with if Prometheus goes away.
Yeah.
Or at least isn't connected.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I hear that.
Excuse me.
This one comes from Tony and it's music related again, but it's kind of interesting, I think.
It's what music can you think of that you like is the theme that is leading up to a big
boss thing.
Or like the lead-up music.
The crescendo.
It's not a game.
Blumencranz is too easy.
Blumencranz.
And track six is so much better.
Man, that's hard to put on the spot.
But that's not a lead-up.
It's...
There's a lot of tracks.
Kiryu Gakill is the track that is Kill La Kill.
Sure, Blumencranz, whatever, but Kiryu La Kill.
Is this Kill La Kill?
Man, this is...
Sorry, is this restricted to only video games?
This is video games.
And it's got to be the lead-up song.
Yeah.
I'm thinking of...
I'm having problems.
It's too much.
Really?
Yeah.
Because running up...
You read the question beforehand, of course you don't.
No, but what I thought immediately was running up the staircase going to fight Gannon in Ocarina
was fucking awesome.
I can't remember the music.
It was this brooding, like, organ theme that you just do.
I'm usually pretty bad at remembering music.
It was really good.
So, like, every vocalist or even more of your solid ever would be a good lead-up to something.
Okay, alright, alright.
Sorry, I don't know.
My memory on that kind of detail is not enough.
It's fun and fun.
I can remember every word of dialogue.
It worked it up.
It's okay.
You botched it.
Yep.
Here's a question that came into us from Nathaniel.
You have a paper in your hand.
Yes.
Crazy.
Because this was the one that I thought was actually pretty good for a Milden later question.
Yeah.
Unique aspects of storytelling in video games.
So this guy, he had a panel discussion about how video games can take on different ways
of telling story.
For example, item descriptions in Dark Souls.
Bioshock voice recordings.
Yeah.
Overused.
Nowadays, totally.
Nowadays, yeah.
What do you...
Oh, gosh.
This guy loves Escaflownes.
Shout-outs to that.
That's awesome.
What do you guys think are some really good methods that games use to do non-office storytelling?
More in the background and mise-en-scene.
mise-en-scene.
You can get...
mise-en-scene.
The better.
Yep.
That's why the audio logs in the shock games were cool originally, because in System Shock,
in particular, they made sense.
You were in a military lab in space.
Makes sense.
Yeah.
People would have fucking logs constantly.
You do that in space.
Bioshock Infinite's a bit ridiculous.
Bioshock 1, it was like, eh, it's a crutch.
Yeah.
Bioshock 2, eh, it's a crutch.
By the time you get to Infinite and you have guys recording like race war plans into fucking
audio boxes that are brand new.
What is that?
The whole thing with those though is that it's the new technology.
It's ridiculous.
Obviously mise-en-scene is the one.
The holy grail.
One of the ones I'm kind of fond of, and a lot of people don't like it because it requires
really playing games, is where you just get more story on the next plan.
They're talking about Nir.
And Wind Waker.
And Wind Waker.
I like that.
It's a nice detail.
They are translating the ancient Hylian.
It's very literal in Nir and that.
It's the same thing.
Where there's certain things you can't understand until the second.
Context is important.
Context is important.
Yeah, ancient languages suddenly understood by your character.
How about that awesome story that never gets put into the game anywhere like Icaruga or
Rez.
Which both have amazing stories.
Wait, I didn't mean to say it's Icaruga.
Are they in the instruction book list?
No, it isn't.
I like that.
I don't mean to keep going back to Dark Souls over and over.
But I think item descriptions.
I think no.
No, not that.
Not that part.
The part where it's like you said, there are enormous chunks of the storyline that are
just straight up hidden to you or lied about to you.
Most people who get to the end of the Dark Souls game, get to the end, beat the game,
get the Link the Fire ending and go, what the fuck?
And don't really understand.
Because nothing makes any sense.
And the crux of it is that everyone in the game lies to you.
And there is one person who does not.
And in order to talk to that person, you need to go sequence breaking.
And once you sequence break, the entire context of the entire game changes.
Is that a big spoiler?
No, it's not.
Not really?
It's just not.
You get to the end of Dark Souls and you link the flame and you see the ending.
And you go, that makes no sense.
I don't understand.
But you have to see it in it.
And then you go back and you sequence break and beat a boss called the Four Kings first.
And then you are able to meet a character who tells you a different side of the story
and lets you know that almost everybody is lying to you.
And that the story is not what you actually thought it was.
And then it clicks.
It's a combination of what Liam's talking about.
Nobody, almost nobody gets that on their first try.
It's hidden, like what you're talking about.
And then there's little pieces of lore sprinkled all over the place.
How about that Oscar winning performance where everyone thinks Dante's the evil bad guy.
But it turns out that he's actually the hero.
Yeah.
I was going to say something that brings, like, it's done a million times.
It's just cut scenes and a character voice and something.
Me and Pat played Call of Cthulhu a little bit farther than we did in our video of it.
There was a sequence that if you write something super well, or if you get it from a source
like an H.P. Lovecraft novel, there was an old drunk telling us about stuff that's going on.
Just going on and on and on.
It was literally five minutes.
But it was a character that was a character model speaking in engine.
We could have walked away from him, I believe.
But his thing was so compelling.
And I remember we were silent listening to the character.
And that's why it's not in the fucking video.
Yeah.
Oh, funny joke, us listening to this monologue.
And it was this long, long thing, but we were just like...
It was compelling.
That actually reminds me of something.
It was super compelling.
Good writing.
Good writing.
Trump and style.
I know you were trying to think of non-game-related examples, or you had a few that came to mind.
You think of non-game-related examples.
He was thinking about the music thing, guy.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, it was about the music.
Because as you say that, that makes me think of Attack on Titan.
The fucking crazy priest guy.
Yelling and shouting.
And screaming plot.
And you're just like, what the fuck is this crazy...
I...Drake and Guard, as well, does the item stories.
Well, that's...
Never mind.
Never mind.
I won't say anything.
Were you going to say it's all the same thing?
Yeah, pretty much.
Okay.
That and near are very closely related.
Yeah, pretty sure.
It's all the same story.
But like, Drake and Guard...
Anyway, no, but like, Drake and Guard, like, you'll get an item and it'll have a description.
And as you upgrade it, the story tells it, like, the item's story tells itself.
And it gets fucking dark.
I'm a particularly big fan of that, because if you don't care, it's not in your fucking way.
I don't have to skip a cutscene.
Super not in your face.
Oh, wait, did you just say upgrading the item gives you more story?
That's awesome.
And each story is specific to the weapon.
Fantastic.
Awesome.
It's just out of the way.
And also, if you do a story in which it's mainly told through background elements and
mise en scene, you don't have to spend money.
You spend a million dollars on voice actors and fancy cutscenes that I'm going to watch
once, and then, hey, for the rest of your game, looking at you, new devil might cry.
Yeah.
A lot of people give it a flack for being so disjointed from the rest of the game, but
I still think that the...
Oh, yeah, I know you're going to talk about it.
...thousand years of memories.
A thousand years of memories and lost Odyssey are so well written.
White, I give it flack because the rest of the game should live up to that standard.
And it doesn't.
You're not wrong.
You're not wrong.
It's so much better than the rest of the game.
Also, every time you unlock a memory, you're like, it's the fucking candy.
Yeah, but I would have bought a bet book, right?
Like, that didn't have to be in the game.
The game should have been written that well.
But it was one of those things where, as a result of what it ended up being, I'm like,
I have a hard time remembering the last time I wanted to know about a main character's past
that much.
But for her, they did a compelling job.
Also, just one last thing.
In general, if you can intimately link gameplay and storytelling...
If you can tie a mechanic to some thematic principle...
And not in the David Cage way.
No, there's a flash game called Don't Look Back, based on the Greek myth, where what's
his face had his ghost wife following him, and if he looked at her, she would disappear.
Persephone?
Maybe.
Anyway, and the whole thing is...
That's a pretty common myth.
You go through half of them in Gomorrah.
I don't know.
A bruised wife.
Bruised from Mario?
What's his name?
Sure.
Isanami and Isanami.
The goddesses, the god and goddess of creation.
So you go through the whole...
Don't look back, fuckers!
Yeah.
You go through the whole game one way, and then you grab your wife, and then you go back
through the whole game the other way.
And the levels feel totally different, because you're going backwards through them.
And if you turn around even once, you're like, game over.
Go back and go back to the last checkpoint.
Interesting.
And Soul Sacrifice comes as close to nailing it, but the story is just too linear.
It's too...
There's not enough there.
It's not enough there.
It's super close though.
It needs just a little bit more.
The one vehicle of storytelling that should be eliminated is a character placing their
finger on their ear and not being able to do actions anymore.
And guess what?
That's never going away, because that's a technical limitation.
No, no.
Well, I just mean like in general of the whole gears thing.
Yeah.
But again, Revengeance had it.
You're going to see loading tricks used.
There's no way around it.
You can skip in that.
You can skip the dive.
And they made that in like 10 days, so...
That is a way to not have to have a loading screen.
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's a loading trick.
And so they're like, well, we're not going to have you just walk around, give them a conversation.
And yeah, you can skip them if you're playing through it like more, but not the first time.
No, but I mean like don't fucking lean on it like gears and just be like, yeah, it's our
headlining game and look, you can stop and go slow and talk like I think that's getting
at it.
At least have a skip.
It's still a shitty way of delivering.
It's still shitty.
It's never going to go away.
There's some games I've been playing recently that have some really unfortunate usage of
that that might come up in the future.
The only game that I think that exemplifies that the most that's not gears is Mass Effect
1 in the Citadel elevators.
Oh, yeah.
The Citadel elevators are giant load screens.
They last minutes.
They last like 90 seconds.
I was going to mention Mass Effect because they end up being kind of a highlighter of
the game because you switch your party members around and they have some of the best dialogue
in the game.
So if you can make that work, good, but the loading problem's not going to go away.
Samus and Metroid Prime?
Yeah.
Oh, Samus.
Remember when she was interesting because she couldn't talk?
When she talked to herself.
That was fine too.
Yeah.
But I mean talking to men.
Don't do like Mass Effect and just give the player control over the story and then
shoe on them into one of them.
Okay.
The teleprompter is telling us to roll on.
The guy off screen is yelling at me to hurry it up.
Stop it, though.
That was a really long time on a question and we answered it and let's just get into
a really good question.
It is a very good question, but I took ten minutes on it.
Oh.
Oh.
Anyway, how much time did we spend on that gorilla question?
Much longer than we should have if I was getting a little bored.
Okay.
Well, I'm just trying.
Anyway.
Put this all in.
Don't cut this.
Yeah.
Shut up.
Keep it raw.
Keep it raw.
He asks.
His question is called Ignoring the Screams.
Okay.
What are the most egregious examples?
Egregious.
Egregious.
I'm Lystexic.
What are the most egregious?
No, you're not.
You say that as a cover.
Yeah, because I fucked up reading the word.
What are the most...
Way to disarm my power by just flatly admitting your guilt.
I lose all my strength.
100%.
God damn it.
That's not a good way around that.
It's pretty good.
Examples you can think of, of companies sticking their heads in the sand and completely disregarding
the fans shouting at them.
WEE.
WEE.
I think that's like...
Unless this is the most elaborate metaphor ever written.
Because it's not like Yakuza 5 localized.
Oh, shit.
No, but what I mean is that like...
We didn't talk about that at all.
Anyway, yeah.
Remember we're saying that Atlas might localize Yakuza 5.
And towel-convices.
Please write to your congressman.
When there's confirmation, we'll talk about it for 20 minutes.
But WWE is one of the things where it's like your fans are literally screaming at you
in the arena across the country.
There are people in your face screaming at you.
That they're not happy.
Not when they dub over those screams with cheers for the broadcast.
Some of your talent is leaving because of the decisions you are making.
Obviously this company can turn itself around on a dime if whatever they have in secret is good enough.
But Nintendo.
Totally.
Nintendo.
Just recently like head as deep as it goes.
They've been ignoring everyone.
Like literally everyone who's been talking to them.
Ever since 2000.
Since the N64.
Until now.
Until right now.
Until this week.
Like it is crazy how in the head their sand has been.
Exactly.
Right.
Awesome.
Quick one from California.
Limeless Dexter.
Quick one from California.
In the head their sand has been.
Quick one from California Pants who asks.
Nice.
It's a good name.
Have any of you guys been in or seen a sick money match?
A sick money match.
I saw one at MAGFest.
The Shack Fu.
Shack Fu Money Match.
Yeah.
I have offered money matches and I don't think I've ever actually gone through with one
with anything other than like a buck or like five bucks.
No.
Nothing of any value.
Well he has to have seen at least one.
You have offered.
You offered a sick money match.
I don't.
I offered.
I never came through because the person chickened the fuck out.
I've been in many money matches.
The most I've won was 40.
That's okay.
Yeah.
I did a 20 and then the guy wanted to run back.
Did he take his wallet?
No.
He ran it back and that was it.
Yeah.
What's the most you've lost?
Probably 20.
What's the most you've ever seen?
Like that or you weren't in?
Have you seen anything better?
Yeah.
I got one.
Well unless Liam wants to drop his because this one's a fucking ridiculous picture.
Which one are you thinking of?
Clockwork versus New York.
Okay.
I was about to ask you if we can count matches that were not in person.
No.
It's got to be in person.
It's got to be in person.
Oh.
In person?
Yeah.
Yeah.
A thousand dollar match go down.
In what?
Well Street Fighter 4 where they had the High Rollers Tournament and everyone's entrance was
a hundred bucks and they had those.
They have those at Evil like every year and we did one of those on our own.
So it's come around a couple times.
Yeah.
But I want to get back to what we cut you off about and that if you want to see a sick
money match.
Before that did you have one personally?
No.
Just like I don't gamble on principle so I wouldn't ever.
But I've seen like a couple assorted hundred dollar ones at various tournaments.
Sure.
It's not super rare as long as you find the good players.
Yeah.
That's it.
That's it.
The sickest money match of all time.
Without any doubt whether or not you give a fuck about Marvel or not.
Clockwork versus Neo is the greatest thing of all time.
They each put 15K on the line and the side bets went up.
How much exactly in case people didn't hear properly?
$15,000.
That's correct.
And the side bets went up to $42,000.
That was to what?
Like 25?
First to 10.
How much did Mike Ross?
Was it only first to 10?
It was first to 10.
And it lasted a long time.
Because it lasted a long time.
And they went back and forth until like eight rounds in or something.
And if you go see any of those crazy fanatic matches they're always same thing.
First to 10.
Yeah.
You know?
That's 10 is more than enough time.
Yeah.
There is no ambiguity of the winner.
In Japan that's always what they do is the first to 10 you got the little bubbles.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because no, when you are like 17 matches deep, the meta game you're pulling out on game 18
is some shit.
Like oh man.
Clockwork versus Neo.
Go do it all time.
Go do it.
At some point.
Like single handedly made me buy Marvel.
Absolutely.
Same here.
And no.
And I mean like when you have someone that's no collusion in that fucking man.
Yeah.
Oh my god.
No.
Like dudes were throwing shoes.
Justin Oan was losing his mind.
Qtex was there with extra sticks to throw.
And fortunately.
All the music?
Yeah.
The music.
That Ken song played like a dozen times.
And I had the like the fortunate advantage of having a really good Marvel player next to
me.
Telling me what was going on.
Yeah.
I remember you telling me about it.
That made it so much better.
I watched that shit.
I think.
It was broadcast live, right?
It was streamed.
Yeah.
I watched it live by myself.
Yeah.
And I didn't play Marvel and it took me almost like almost a 60% of the way through to even
be able to parse what was happening on screen.
Yeah.
Like almost anime-esque of like I can see them moving.
Yeah.
I can see it.
Like the level of this so the level of ice that like that brought for Marvel 3 coming.
When it was on the way because that was before Marvel 3 came out.
Of course.
And oh my God.
I wrote an article about it for a website actually.
Yeah.
Like I got so fucking in fighting games will never be this good again.
Oh man.
Um.
And they still aren't.
Yeah.
They're not.
Let's.
When's the next big money match?
50K.
And then ours is J-Wall.
Not first of 100.
Not counting.
Not counting pop bonuses.
Yeah.
Um.
Let's do the the the Matt watch and God blighting Pat at the same time.
Just start yelling go.
Fuck the W. W. Wait.
No.
That's you.
That's you.
Fuck the W. W. E.
Fuck.
Also fuck the W. W. E.
Fuck.
You're stalking them.
I'm stalking them.
Well.
Fuck.
I'm like in tune to every bit of rustling news more than ever.
You're stalking them because they're blighting Pat.
That's what's happened.
Yeah.
Why not?
You know those so fuck random drop percentages and I'll just leave it at that.
Fuck rare drops.
I guess also because Pat was like Roy Rumble's my favorite match on this side.
It's my favorite match ever.
I would.
I love the Roy Rumble.
So when I was like yeah I'm anticipating and Pat's like oh I can't wait when it was
a battle I was like oh I'm angry but I'm angry that someone's favorite match has also been
ruined.
I was not even like as bad as it is.
So bad that I wasn't even that angry I was just kind of sad.
I just kind of felt empty.
What's coming up on the channel guys?
We disaster day of crisis one more part to go and it's complete.
It'll be complete.
So.
It gets pretty nuts at the end.
Hopefully you would know we have a lot more I have no mouth and I'm a scream coming up.
There will be no more delays for that game.
Nope.
No more.
It's going to be a smooth ride.
When we put the last part up I saw a lot of people saying oh I can't wait to wait a
week for the next one.
We screwed up the timing with recording this.
From hearing out a smooth ride straight into Satan's asshole.
And then after that who knows what could be on the horizon other than the fact that it
would be really good and you should watch it.
And also for those of you who have been asking about the website it's coming.
It's coming.
Yep.
Got it coming.
I'm not making it.
So like I just have to ask a guy to make it go.
If you want a little preview of what the site may or may not look like you can go to normalboots.com.
You can check out John Tron's stuff and Pro Jared and did you know gaming because their
site layout might look a little like ours not saying it is but.
It could.
Yeah.
Maybe.
Sure.
Call Willie.
Please.
He's got my number.
He's got his number.
Oh.
Just waiting for him to call.
Yeah.
Well we texted.
Waiting by your hamburger phone.
We texted.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Anyways.
Yeah man.
That all about wrapping up for this week.
That it will indeed wrap it up for this week.
Wrap it up like.
We'll see you all guys next week.
Wrap it up like.
Players.
Mummy Rockland.
Woo.