Castle Super Beast - SBFC 031: Butthurt Nuns are Totally a Thing
Episode Date: March 11, 2014Profound sadcast this week. When industry people are walking left and right, Japan hates on Little Mac, and Parappa can't be trusted, who can we turn to? BUFF BAGWELL?!Got a question? Superbestfriendc...ast[at]gmail[dot]com
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You know about that stupid pendant? I'm like, yeah, I know about it. He's like, shit, fuck that pendant.
What pendant? The one that is nothing.
There's a pendant in Dark Souls that's a starting gift. It says pendant for weary travelers or something.
And in the lead up to Dark Souls 1, Miyazaki said, the director of the game, he says,
Hey man, if I had to choose a starting gift, I would totally pick the pendant.
It's really good, but you might not figure out what it's for.
And people have been banging their fucking heads against this stupid item for years.
Every other item you can get in the game does something.
You can drop it somewhere and you'll get a different item. You can use it somewhere.
As you talk to somebody, pendant does nothing.
Until like six months ago, he comes out in an article talking about Dark Souls 2.
He's like, by the way, the pendant does nothing.
He never did anything.
The pendant does nothing. It never did anything. It was never intended to do anything.
I tricked you all.
And I read a thing that he said in some interview, like what bull before that, where he's like,
The pendant, I will take the secret of the pendant to my grave.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.
As Japanese designers.
I'll never tell.
So like basically, I think it's better than he told in the end though.
The abuse begins at birth in the womb before you even start playing the game.
They're already on your ass.
There's lies.
So apparently there's very similar pendants and older from software games.
Yeah, there's always pendants and shit.
No, that pendant that has no use.
There's nothing.
Oh, that's a thing.
There's a couple of design elements that always shows up.
Someone in GAF compiled the thing like in whatever, Kingsfield.
Kingsfield is the example.
There's always a moonlight sword.
There's always this.
There's always that.
But that fucking pendant.
I mean, Zach, he's such a fucking shit.
I'm not even that invested in the series, but when I heard about that shit, I was like,
What a fucking asshole.
It's raw bullshit.
It's raw bullshit.
It's so good about it.
The lies start early.
A confusing system that you need to talk to people, understand?
No, fuck that.
How about we just lie to you and I don't have a description.
How about we lie?
And I don't even mean mistranslate.
We're just being straight up a lie.
There's a ring.
It's going to be useful.
There's the tiny beings ring in Dark Souls 1.
The description says it'll regen your health.
It does not.
Oh, wow.
Okay?
Instead, it gives you like 20 more points of health.
And it's not a mistranslation because the Japanese version is the same.
All of them say the same thing.
It's just a lie.
Holy shit.
What a bunch of mysterious objects.
Fuck.
Fucking liars.
You think you know Dark Souls?
You don't know anything.
It pretty much guarantees more than one playthrough.
It all went well.
And even if you don't have the internet to tell you what's going on, like you figuring
that out on your own is going to take how fucking long.
There is shit that without talking to people on NeoGaff or Gamefax or looking at the wiki,
I would never, ever have figured out.
Absolutely.
In Demon's Souls, there's a mechanic called World Tendency in which depending if you die,
events in the change, events in each world change imperceptibly.
Like enemies get slightly stronger or they drop more stuff, but if you get it to pure
Black Tendency, a special boss shows up that you need his soul to upgrade a unique weapon.
And that boss will kick your shit without you even knowing he's there.
Far on the way over here, I explain how humanity works in Dark Souls 1 to Matt.
He was like, that's fucking nonsense.
Can you imagine if this was released in like 1995?
You mean back when the Kingsfield games were coming out?
They were exactly the same way?
You mean games that have fatalities and shit like that?
Games that have legends of being incompletable and impossible?
Yeah, so if you kill this boss with this weapon, this girl takes off her clothes.
No, but if you kill this boss by cutting his tail off, you get a cool sword.
Dude, I completely missed the Drake sword on my first place.
Exactly.
Completely missed it.
In Dark Souls 1, the best sword you can get early in the game, you have to shoot a dragon
in the tail like 60 times at the bone arrow, till his tail falls off and you get a good sword.
That's fucking retarded.
Those things are kind of around still.
You remember in Revengeance, you could parry the raised tail in one part of the fight
and then it just all locked in an achievement, right?
But if you hadn't read the achievements, would you have even known?
Probably not.
This is even more subtle because there's a dragon and his tail is swinging off a bridge
and you're walking over this bridge and you can just shoot at his tail
and if you break it off, you just get the item, you just pick it up.
So he had a sword on his asshole?
Yeah.
His tail is the sword.
Yeah.
Oh, that's cool.
The dragon's tail?
That's cool.
That's one of those ultimate tricks.
They stole that from Monster Hunter, where if you're fighting dragons or cool monsters,
sometimes you can cut their tails off and it's weapons.
Is there a limit, though, to how far they should go with that?
No.
Because a braid, collecting the stars and braid, that's too far.
Right?
That's way too far.
So walk on the fucking platform for two hours?
Leave your controller alone for four hours, but if you don't have a wired controller,
your fucking battery will die or it'll automatically turn off.
I think it depends on the value of the thing.
If it was anything in Darker Souls game, I'd love that.
Because I'd be like, that's a fucking surprise.
For a stupid little star in braid that's worth next to nothing?
No, fuck that.
You just nailed what the next game in the Souls series should be called Darker Souls.
Darker Souls, yeah.
I thought it would be called Dragon Souls.
Or Demon Souls, too.
Dark Souls, too.
Dark Demons.
Demon Souls, too.
Back down.
Soul Souls.
Yeah, you know what?
Dark Souls is like, back down the game.
Back down the back down the game, yeah.
Because there's always the moment when you meet the boss and you look at them.
You should probably back down.
And you go, fuck that.
But you can't leave.
But you can't leave.
But you do physically recoil and back up because you don't want them to touch you.
Anything, any fight I've seen in Demon Souls and Dark Souls 1 ever in any footage looks
nothing like any other game in terms of running up and just slashing shit?
No.
Because you're backing down so often, so constantly.
Have you happened to see the Tower Knight?
No.
The Tower Knight?
You walk in, and I didn't know he was a thing.
You walk in, and there's a knight like you.
He's got a huge shield and sword.
And he's exactly 40 times your size.
He is huge.
Not only that, but when you come in, you're in a courtyard surrounded by ramparts.
And every single little cubby hole is filled with an archer that draws their boss boss on you.
And he immediately stabs at you with his lens.
And if you get too close, he smashes his shield on the ground and causes a shock wave.
Huge, huge.
Amazing.
Every single boss fight in the Souls series.
There's a couple that are duels, but that's very rare.
But you're totally right.
He's like, ah, fuck, fuck that.
How do I even hurt that?
And it's not, I'm going to be a cool guy and take my shit and ruin this monster.
It's like, how can I cheat?
How can I stab it in its dick until it dies?
Even against quote unquote little guys like the penetrator, it's like, how do I not get hit?
Every time I say, every time anyone says penetrator, Matt gets this stupid look on his fucking face.
Because I'm like, no.
That's a mistranslation.
No, it's not.
No, he stabs you with a sword.
He penetrates you.
There's lots of things that stab you with swords.
Why is he the penetrator?
They're all penetrators.
Yeah, well.
The penetrator.
Although Matt, when you talk about the secret get the girl topless thing in King of Fighters 94,
if you kill certain girl characters with a special finisher, their shirt blows off.
It blows off.
They actually put that in there.
There is something close to that in Demon Souls.
Yeah.
And it's not that she gets naked.
But there's a boss fight which consists of you fighting a nun and her knight.
It's awesome.
And you can try and fight the nun and she's godlike, but if you kill the knight and talk
to her, she kills herself.
Why'd you kill my knight though?
That's exactly what she says.
She goes, fuck you.
Fuck this.
I can't live without him.
Take your Demon Soul.
It's yours.
I hope you feel great.
Literally, she's like, are you happy now?
Wow.
And the whole boss fight, she is constantly talking.
He's like, come on, man, we're not bothering anybody.
Can you please just go?
I'm fucking tired.
We don't even care.
Just go.
Just leave.
But she's aggrowing on you.
No.
She never aggrows.
Go kill them.
The knight gets into a small path, puts his shield up and says, please leave.
And you bust his shit and murder her.
And then you go talk to her.
And she's like, I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
Dead.
Oh wow.
I'm so tired of nuns being so fucking funny for everything.
And that takes place in a shrine that is surrounding a pool of plague babies, which are the reincarnated
aborted fetuses that have been dumped into the lake.
I honestly thought you were talking about plague of gripe-style.
They're identical.
They're identical.
Little babies with plague ten on them.
Dude, I don't know if you were thinking of it specifically, but in BioShock Infinite,
there's a butthurt nun that just totally just offs herself because fuck it.
So that's-
Not as bad as-
That butthurt nuns is totally a thing.
Nuns go out in style.
They're serious.
They got the flying hat and all that shit.
Yeah, they can fly.
Episode 31, you guys.
Flying nuns.
Nice.
We finally get to talk about Dark Souls.
Well, why is that?
We never talked about it before.
I never.
Did I?
I don't even remember.
Dark Souls is a game that's going to come out tomorrow.
Today!
Is it Dark Souls II?
Dark Souls II.
Wow.
Darker Souls.
Liam.
The Week in Review.
The Week in Review was a thing.
I'm super hyped for the Outlast DLC and I'm preparing myself for the terror that never stops.
Right, you told me about that.
Other than that, I watched this- I watched nine- I can't remember how many episodes were out.
I think nine episodes of this anime called Witchcraft works.
I had to fucking learn to stop watching anime by these guys.
Because every one of their shows has the same problem.
And they only do adaptations.
They always adapt fucking stuff that has like 15 plus characters in a 12 episode anime.
Don't do that.
There's 16 characters, 7 episodes in.
I can't deal with that because you can't develop half of them.
What's your cutoff point?
Because if you went nine in and didn't give it up yet-
Nine's a lot.
That's a lot, man.
I know.
My cutoff is four, dude.
My cutoff is three or four, yeah.
I had all nine of them in front of me and I was just like...
So you're the guy, I was like, man this pizza's really bad but the whole pizza's right here.
I'm gonna eat nine pieces.
Exactly.
Like the only-
Because every episode it was like the next one can totally save it,
but the main character just keeps being a useless piece of shit.
And he's like Shinji but way fucking worse.
Shut up, shut up.
You gotta give it up, you gotta give it up.
Unless you have somebody-
But now I'm so close to the end.
Unless you have the friend that's sitting there going,
no dude, you gotta wait till the show didn't go-
Hey, man, get really angry.
I have watched three or four episodes of a show with that exact person sitting next to me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And nothing happened.
Yeah.
Is it the friend that sits on the couch and stares at your face while the cooking's happening?
Absolutely, absolutely.
Trying to get that reaction?
Fucking emotions, man.
Emotions sitting on the couch watching us.
Just trying to see if we're getting excited.
Is he into it?
Is he into it?
I hope he's into it.
You gotta do that carefully.
Like, that's a draw.
Like, hey, do the people that I care about like the thing that I like?
Sure.
Obviously.
And you peek over every now and then and you listen to when they go,
oh, shit.
But like, for fuck's sake, like, wait, you're not joking.
Like, literally turned on the couch, staring it up.
Making electric eel face.
Like, ah, ah, ah.
And then when Castor Troy pulls off his face and it's John Travolta,
I want to look over at that and be like, what are you?
You shut up.
He's working into everything, man.
The year of Face Off continues.
It's like the year of Luigi.
But this is 2014.
The year 2013 was the year of Face Off.
Yeah.
Whatever.
I read this manga that someone sent in called Rosario Vampire.
Yeah.
And I liked it.
But like, in that guilty pleasure kind of like, we're like, it's not that great,
but I'm super down for like, a dumb shounen manga every now and again.
Sure.
So I read all 10 volumes and it follows this like, ridiculous formula that I showed Matt.
Where it's like...
Yeah.
That sounds like Gothic lollies, by the way.
It just doesn't.
Oh, wow.
Surprisingly.
It's more of a monster high school.
So it's like, hijinks, hijinks, monster of the week introduced,
girl gets in trouble, guy turns her into full vampire,
she kicks monster in face,
killing or defeating the monster.
Kicks, right?
Kicks.
Kicks in face every time.
And I showed you that consistently.
Chappers over.
This repeats for however many chapters there are in 10 books.
Now when you say repeats, I mean she always kicks the monster.
Now occasionally there's another character who does something,
but I'm going to hazard 70% of the time.
That's the formula.
Now, as a fan of a writer kick, a good writer kick makes me excited.
So I can't hate on that.
No, it's a similar kind of like, cool kick.
Okay.
But it was like, this is the dumb shonen manga that I can get behind
because Toriko's getting a little dry right now.
Do you know King of Bandits Jing?
By any chance?
I heard of that.
I don't know.
It's some sort of plot thing goes on,
interesting story in general,
but solve all problems with the same mega buster shot
every time, all the time forever.
It always is.
It worked for Sailor Moon, it worked for Goku.
Yep, it's going to work for everybody.
Work for guts.
Work for guts.
Wait a little bit.
It works pretty well.
It works pretty well.
Once, yeah.
That's one of my favorite parts.
Berserk Arts Cannon!
That's one of my favorite parts of the,
what's the church saga?
What's that called?
Church.
Yeah, where he's fighting the church.
Oh, I don't know what it's called,
but yeah, I know what it's called.
Where there's a moment where like 30 guys on horses
ride towards guts and he swings a sword
and they all become like cut in half.
And there's actually a guy for the first time
in the Berserk series that goes,
stop doing that.
You're all so close together,
none of you can move,
and he can just swing a sword
and kill all of you.
Someone actually flicks it out?
Yeah.
And they keep doing it.
All it does is give the opportunity
for the author to draw eyeballs flying.
Yeah, yeah.
As he is known to do.
That's true.
Anyway, whoever sent those in, thanks a bunch.
That was entertaining.
And otherwise, I finished Strider,
like super 100% now.
And I think I do like it better than Guacamelee
in the end.
Wow.
But you really have to get to that last mobility item,
because you mentioned it one time.
Yeah.
But like, you get three jumps, sometimes four,
depending on how you use it.
If you're good.
If you're good, you get four jumps out of it,
and you can just go fucking anywhere.
And the last two jumps are Mega Man X air dashes
in any direction.
In any direction.
And that's more than eight directions now,
thanks to so many directions.
Analog sticks.
Analog sticks, yeah.
And before you let the dash go, you get a little float.
Yeah.
A slow motion float.
A little slow motion float.
It just feels good.
Yeah.
And it was great.
I'm glad to hear that.
But I really do have to play Guacamelee.
It's great.
Yeah.
You do.
Super Turbo Championship.
Lay it on HD.
Lay it on every single system that you have.
Every single one.
It's coming out for everything.
Guacamelee is not hard, too.
So you can just fucking fly through that game.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For sure.
Yeah, simple.
If anyone's going to play Strider out there and you're any good at games, please play
it on hard.
Because I did my second playthrough on normal just to clean up collectibles.
It is, you're untouchable.
Okay.
You can't die.
So you followed my advice.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah, exactly.
And it was way better on hard.
Yeah.
It was on normal.
Immensely.
If you're bad at games, yeah, normal.
Met.
By all means.
What's going on this week, Butter?
As you can, maybe you can hear a difference, but we're broadcasting.
You can certainly feel it.
Okay.
We're not broadcasting, though.
What would you call that we're doing?
Recording.
We're recording.
We're recording from a new location today, which is my new place.
I'm not going to...
Live from downtown New York!
Live!
It's Saturday night, best friends!
We've got to throw off the stalkers, right?
We've got to keep and guess it.
Where?
In the West Island?
No.
Why would I be there?
Anyway.
Why would anyone live in the West Island?
Oh, God.
But yeah, this week I didn't really have time to play many games of just been, like, making
things and fixing shit or whatever, but I did have the chance to watch...
It's kind of a spoiler, so I'm going to go to...
But we got something from the mail bag, a fan sent in, like, a DVD that they made that
they filmed.
It's like a paranormal-type thing, a story, and it watched us actually pretty fucking
good.
Nice.
I know we were going to all watch the crazy things fans have sent us, but since I was
like...
I totally expected it to be shit.
Well, I wasn't sure, but I actually read reviews and I think he said that, like, in his thing
that they won, like, a couple of awards here and there, but yeah, that was really interesting
because my girlfriend likes watching, like, scary shit as well, so we're like, ah, let's
give this a watch to see how it is, and we usually, in the first 20 minutes of a scary
thing, we're like, okay, no.
This is going to be all full or whatever you can feel it.
But this wasn't okay yet.
Yeah, but we're like, oh, okay, and it kind of puts you on edge.
We're not going to talk much about it or say, oh, we'll wait until the mail bag begins.
Yeah, but that was really interesting, and other than that, as you probably know by now,
the people that follow the channel, but the best of 2013 video is finally done.
It looks like you put a lot of work into that shit.
It was put in a lot of work.
Best of best friends.
But also, props for the...
Yeah, sure.
Thank you.
Thank you.
But cranky construct, like, batted out that intro in like a game.
He sure cranked that out.
Yeah.
Oh.
Employer of the Month.
Yeah.
But I honestly forgot a few things, and I mistakenly, like, when I was compiling everything, one
or two things got lost in the shuffle.
Such as what, Matt?
Such as Willie Sterling, Evo Style announcing of all the bullshit flying at Lucas Cannon
and to go prophecy.
That wasn't there at a point, but I must have...
You can't get it all, man.
I can't get it all.
There's too much.
Actually, you can.
No, but the instant it went up, all I saw were comments.
I was like, oh, you forgot this.
Like, damn it, we totally forgot that.
Totally forgot that.
But how much footage goes up a year?
Like, half an hour a day?
Well, think about it.
Yeah, yeah.
One video a day?
365?
More than that?
Yeah, because some videos two days a week, I don't think.
Well, do you want it to be good, or do you want it to be shit?
You want it to be good, or do you want it to be shit?
But that's like over 150 hours to filter through.
I know, it's insane.
But yeah.
You could never fit all 149 good hours into one video.
That's very true.
I tried.
Didn't work.
Other than that, what was I going to say?
Yeah, I bought some games, because just where I moved in, there was this great pond star,
and I walked in, and I was like, all your games are really way in the back there.
Could I go behind your counter or something?
Because I can't release.
And he goes, yeah, sure.
No problem.
The guys are super friendly.
And I look, and I got a Togi 2.
Which is another radical game that no one can play.
So fuck you.
A Togi 2, 187 Ride or Die.
Of course.
As we are known to play those hip hop games.
A classic.
The youth love them.
Sorry?
The urban youth love them.
Yeah.
I'll stretch my vocal cords.
Please.
Harry Potter Chamber of Secrets for the Gamecube.
Yeah.
What is wrong with you?
Because I'm thinking maybe we can do a dumb Harry Potter thing one time.
You and I know lots about Harry Potter.
I know more than I would let on.
That episode clearly demonstrated that.
Yeah, yeah.
The fact that you're like, is that Neville?
So as much as I love the huge spoiler get in that happened of the sixth book.
And seeing the mass spoiler outrage from Blank kills Blank.
I was actually reading the books at the time and the instant that happened, I'm like,
I don't care anymore.
I don't want to read through this entire book to get to the thing I know I'm going to get
to.
I was so glad I never got spoiled on it.
Yeah.
Because there's a couple of things that stuck with me going through the best of 2013 and.
One is that Matt won't shut the fuck up of our face off.
Yep.
And the other thing was like, you know way too much about Harry Potter apparently.
Neville sucks ass.
What is that?
Does he?
Like when the Ginny Cage came up.
Oh yeah.
I was like, no shut up.
I instantly thought of that Ginny.
No guys, everybody shut up though.
I don't know about Harry Potter.
I read your fan fix.
So now that that is done and that is kind of the 2013 thing, I think we've all made a
little bit of progress on our, at least our list.
Not as much as we should have.
A little bit.
But I think that'll like, you know, be our little personal project.
For the time being.
For the time being.
This is coming.
They're super online though.
Because lots of people are like, where's your games?
I don't get it.
Like no, this is the best of the channel of 2013.
For the top 10.
Yeah, these things take time.
Top 10 will not be as late as it was last year.
Last year was June.
Yeah.
So as long as we get it in by May 31st.
Yes, you're right.
You're right.
Exactly right.
And we got some all stars leaving comments on that video too.
We got Maximilian as the current top comment.
Yeah, I noticed that.
We got some people checking it.
I love that.
He's like, where was my footage in here?
Where's the Benny footage?
Where's the Benny?
I would love to put the Benny footage in there.
I love that Matt only refers to Keith David as the guy that provided the voice for Goliath and Spawn.
Yeah.
Because that's exactly how I fucking know him.
Yo, Zach versus Benny 2014.
Let's get it.
Let's get it.
They would probably just cuddle and be adorable.
That's what I mean.
It's amazing.
It's going to be the cutoff battle.
That's tough.
I want to see if there's any way to do that.
Because that's like this fucking awesome verses of YouTube pets.
That's really hard because Max already has the Benny Staring Contest video up.
But you can never stare at a cat for too long.
He's interested.
Well, since we're never going to make it out to California ever, you do the split screen on that.
Who can be the cutest in 30 seconds?
That's actually not a bad solution.
Right?
You just split screen that shit and put the clock right.
I'll network with Max to even get that going.
There we go.
Anyway.
What have you been up to this week?
Man!
I just want to ask real quick.
What was that horror thing you watched?
What was it actually called?
Well, he was saving it for when it came up on the actual.
I don't know.
Like now I'm interested.
I can't watch it.
It was the one with the cool packaging.
You know, I remember.
I believe it was called the ghost tape.
But I may be wrong.
Okay.
It's probably wrong.
I might be wrong.
Okay.
Well, whatever spoilers I guess.
The floor is to you.
You always ask us what's going on with the week.
How about you guys?
Thank you for asking.
Tables turned.
I don't really care though.
No.
I had my first week off in a long ass time.
Not from this shit.
Not from this shit.
Never from this shit.
The week off was dedicated towards working on this shit actually.
You get away from work to do more work.
That's a nice vacation.
It's more fun though.
But I'm kind of a workaholic.
I enjoy working on this shit actually.
So, you know, it's fun.
Weirdo.
But a bunch of stuff this week.
The biggest one for me probably being I cut my hair.
You cut your hair a lot.
Yeah.
No one noticed.
No one noticed.
No one noticed.
When you pointed it out we were like, oh shit!
You're totally right.
When I see you I say, okay dreads woolly.
No dreads stranger danger.
I'm used to categorizing you all by like amorphous head qualities and don't recognize your own
faces.
Mine is soft.
Yours is a soft girl face.
And Matt's wearing a hat.
Well the interesting thing so far I've noticed, especially like going into work as well, is
like you don't get caught in doors as much.
No.
Only girls have noticed.
Yeah, girls care about hair.
Yeah, girls care about hair.
So they catch that shit.
Before this also explodes I should probably explain it's not a giant significant amount.
It's just a trimming in.
It's still like two feet long.
Yeah.
But the impression is about the same.
The important thing is that it goes past your head.
Because if you cut your dreads to like your cheekbone.
You would look like such a fucking asshole.
Short cut like the girl from Tron.
Or fucking Nick Carter style.
Weird.
Yeah.
You had dreads at a point.
No.
But like the length is short of these trunks.
Yeah.
Just past the cheekbone.
Fuck that.
No.
That's Zach from Power Rangers.
Oh.
You're right.
We're still good old boy.
But no, beyond that, um, sat at home, uh, played the shit out of Black Flag, finally got
the chance to be on the show.
How about that boat shit?
Oh my god.
They realized so hard that we're tired of rooftops.
You stay on this boat?
There's still tons of rooftops in that game.
Yeah.
But the boat's like 60, 70%?
Yeah.
And I know that like, it took me this long and I had the biggest boner for boats in the
last one.
You love boats.
I can't overstate how fucking happy I am.
Just listening to the songs, dude.
Dude, unlock those shannies.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
You know.
More on that later, but I am in bliss with that.
I love the music that kicks in as you start to attack another boat too.
It's really intensive.
So here's a pro tip.
Don't do what I did.
The incident that the whole world was opened up, I did absolutely every single side mission
and selectable thing.
Isn't that what killed you of playing Assassin's Creed III?
You did the same thing.
Yeah.
I did ass.
Why'd you do it again?
Two and two.
Because it's my favorite.
Three.
Because I prefer doing that than any of the story stuff.
He didn't do it in three.
The idea.
Yeah.
I got all the feathers in three.
Wow.
And did all the side quests and then went to go to the story thing and was like, wow,
these story missions suck ass.
Okay.
I don't care anymore.
And then AC4 was really good.
It was way better because the story's better.
But don't do that.
Why?
Because you burn out.
You burn out?
Yeah.
Okay.
No.
And I'm totally not doing that.
In fact, I'm doing it the opposite.
I'm gunning through stories.
And then if you need more at the end, go to the end.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And I can't help it.
Well, no.
And Freedom Cry is sitting there for me too.
So I have no lack of content to get to.
And you'll burn through Freedom Cry.
Yeah.
That's the thing.
You add so much that it becomes like almost like a job.
Well, like with the game.
Assassin's Creed and like Ubisoft games in general are like seven hours of fucking awesome
stuff and like 30 hours of padding.
Well, ever since, ever since like Far Cry 3, they all use the exact same formula.
Yeah.
Or ever since Assassin's Creed.
Assassin's Creed Brotherhood.
Yeah.
They all have the same formula.
The enemies have a base.
When you take over the base, you get the area of influence down.
Yeah.
Then side quests open up and along with the, and in this process, you have to climb a
tall thing.
Yeah.
And remember how you explained how you were able to get like infinite money by doing the
friends versions of the Kenways Fleet missions and stuff and you just broke it?
Well, I did all the whale stuff.
I did all the convoy stuff.
And then I just like, even when I wasn't playing the game, I would go and play that stupid
Facebook game they had and just like, oh, a billion more dollars.
Yeah.
So for me, I'm getting the message, you know, play with friends, play Kenways with friends
to earn, to make the missions go through faster or whatever.
I'm on Xbox One.
I've got friends.
There is no one.
There is nothing.
This game is abandoned.
There's me, dude.
Oh, yeah.
We're not playing it.
You have to actively...
Wait, what?
You're playing on Xbox One?
I'm playing it because I picked that one up instead.
You have to actively decide to make will these boats go faster for them to go faster.
I will decide to make them go slower.
Sabotage this.
Sabotage them.
Just don't do anything.
Yeah.
I go to your town and animal cross and take all your crops.
Yeah.
No, but...
So he's going to start playing and he's going to intentionally do nothing.
Those people are the greatest trolls of all.
But no, my decision was a lonely one to play it on the X-Bone.
I knew.
I knew.
Yeah.
Beyond that, I played through Walking Dead Episode Two, Season Two.
Don't say anything.
Don't say anything.
No, not going to say anything.
Shut up.
I hear there's a good character in that one.
I'm not going to say anything about anything relating to plot or story or events occurring.
Good.
I will just relay what I thought about this episode, which is that, unfortunately, on
a technical level, this is the poorest episode ever.
So you mean design or technical?
I mean design.
Because there are three design decisions, and I'm going to have to save these until
you guys actually get around.
Until they're on the channel so the people can talk about it.
Exactly.
But there are three design decisions that occur here.
Which we promise will happen.
That are piss fucking poor to the point where I was sitting there with my friend and she
pointed out why would a game do that and she doesn't play games?
So she caught the bad design moments.
I know, I just want to say, you say it's the worst one, including the first season.
Including the first season.
Including 400 days.
Unbelievably disappointed.
Including 400 days.
Including 400 days.
I love 400 days.
No, I did too.
But it was do X, do X, do X.
It was all over the place.
Three moments of dumb ass logic that occur in an otherwise normal-
Would you say video game logic or bad point and click logic?
Bad planning.
Ooh.
Yeah.
And that's it.
I'll, you know, I'll, I'll say, I'll get into more later.
Do you feel that has anything to do with the fact that everyone's like, tell, tell, release
your shit faster and they just kind of maybe took a shortcut?
I don't think they would ever do that.
No, it was, it was, they thought that you would be feeling this at the time when like,
it's not only me, I barely think anyone would be on the level of what they expected you
to feel.
That's.
So you make a decision.
You think they'd be good at that by now.
They're too high on their own butts.
Yeah.
Good luck with those.
You know, um, and I, I was reading a bunch of shit in the comics.
I started Preacher.
Oh, you're my best friend.
Oh.
I'll shut up.
Yeah.
Well, whatever.
Matt brought back Preacher from, I mean, Pat brought back Pete Preacher from, from whatever
I said.
Matt, Matt let me Preacher like two and a half years ago and it's been sitting on my kitchen
table for two and a half years, pristine but unopened and I finally just said, man,
take it back.
I'm not going to read this.
Grab that shit mid transaction and just started reading it.
Oh my God.
Now I know why everyone keeps talking about fucking Preacher.
Yeah.
And I only got into it like not too long ago myself.
Well, that sounds good.
Can you lend me Preacher?
I will lend you one.
I'll lend it to you someday.
Garth Ennis, man.
You are forgiving.
No.
You know, like I've read the boys.
I've read some of his other stuff, but holy shit.
Yeah.
Cause that was the, like he did judge a bit of judge right before that, but that Preacher
is the first thing that really put him on the map as a writer.
Yeah.
I hit a decent stopping point in Fables.
Oh yeah?
Yeah.
Volume 11 is a decent break point and I'll get back to it afterwards, but man shit goes
down really hard.
I don't know what you're, you're up to right now.
Not to where you are.
I'm sure.
Okay.
But like it, it's interesting cause it's so good, but it makes the games so insignificant.
Oh.
Yeah.
Because the Walking Dead superside stepped that.
Because that's true.
Yeah.
The Walking Dead is a lot more compelling than the comics.
You're, you're not wrong about that.
Well, that's because Wolf Among Us right now is this awesome film noir detective story
going on in Fable Town and oh my God, it's so much bigger than that.
Well, I imagine Wolf Among Us is only covering like the first book.
If that, it's not, it's doing its own thing.
Oh, it's doing its own thing.
Oh, okay.
It's not even doing the books.
Oh.
It just happens to codes.
There's just like walking dead.
Yeah.
It's a fresh story.
Big B is the main character.
He's the same guy, but the people showing up, a lot of them are new and the events occurring
are new for people that have read the books too.
Oh, okay.
Yeah.
So yeah.
And then that was pretty much about a week in a nutshell.
Okay, cool.
How about you?
I only played two games.
I played Stick of Truth, which is fucking Super Mario RPG with Cartman.
I hear that works.
That's exactly what it is.
Did you finish it?
And boy, no, I didn't.
Okay.
I didn't play as much of it as I thought I would, but jeez, that, it's, that's what
it is.
Good.
It's just exactly that and just the amount of South Park shit that they cram in there
is enormous.
Like you can break into all the kids' homes and go into their closets and it's like every
single prop that character was ever involved with, ever, is just sitting in the closet.
Someone told me it's beatable in a day.
That's totally possible.
I feel, I played it for maybe six hours.
I totally feel happy about it.
That's not a bad thing though.
It bit.
$60.
Vanquish.
Is better.
Vanquish.
But I kind of feel like the South Park world can't do a 20 out of 10.
I think, I think you're totally right.
Yeah.
It's, it's the vice of the series.
And that, if any funny, I'd rather not try to stretch it out because then it'll get
bad.
Yeah.
Like I really, really, really appreciate how so little of the humor is video game related.
Yes.
And there are, I played it and there are two video game jokes in the six hours that I played.
There is a Dragonborn joke and there is Mr. Mackie.
You have to go through the cafeteria to fight a billion gingers to break a kid out of detention.
And Mackie is making jokes about, well, he's never going to get in here without the silver
key.
And to get the silver key, he needs the bronze key and then it'll never beat the boss level.
You think this is a game, idiot?
Yeah.
That's a little on the nose.
It's the one.
Okay.
So it's fine.
It's fine.
The Simpsons game makes tons of video games.
That was its thing.
It was the Simpsons game we're trapped in a video game.
Super good.
I wish I played more of it, but I was working a lot.
And also I wasted most of my week by, now I talked to Liam about this a while ago because
I was getting all Dark Souls-y uppity.
And Liam told me that he's beaten Demon Souls like a hundred times or whatever.
About approximately a billion times.
But dark once.
Dark once.
And I realized I only beat Demon Souls once.
So I just took like a day and a half and just like, just sat down and just beat Demon
Souls again in like nine hours.
How weird is that?
It's really weird.
That game's super easy now.
That game's super, super easy.
It's easy due to what?
Due to Dark Souls.
Dark Souls is way harder.
It's way harder.
Like when they said it was going to be harder and then we play, people played it, it was
like, it's not that much harder.
But it's not until you go back to Demon Souls.
But we forgot that Demon's felt really hard because we were learning it and we didn't
know how it worked.
And no one had done that at the time.
Yeah.
And so I just went, I'll go strength and I'll get this big sword and then I just cruised
through the whole game.
And I had never won a PvP thing ever in that series.
And I just decided to go up on top of a ledge and knock people off of the sword and steal
all their shit.
And it worked great.
Yeah.
I feel like 20 guys and they were all really mad.
They were really mad.
That was your week.
Did you pull out your scraping shears?
No.
I got all my shit broken by a guy with a scraping spear.
Awesome.
But I was using, if anybody played Demon Souls, they'd know it's a sword called the Dragon
One Smasher.
It goes through everyone's guard.
You can't block it.
You can't stop it.
And if you get hit, you fly back three or four feet.
So just do it on a ledge, fight people on a walkway, knock them clear off.
They can't do anything.
That's fair.
People...
That sounds balanced.
People...
It is balanced.
If I miss, you can kill me.
Yeah.
But I didn't miss.
And I mean, I played one sequence in which I was fighting a host and two summoned help.
And they all had to come at me in a line and off goes one blue guy, off goes the second
blue guy, off goes the host.
Just bang, bang, bang, just like, fantastic.
If you don't think it's balanced, you just gotta get good.
Sure, yeah.
Just get good.
Get good.
Just get good.
Sure.
And I can run as a person on the other side of that that would never have dealt with
that.
If you say you were playing it and you were new and that happened to you, I would not
begrudge you thinking that is fucking unavoidable, unstoppable garbage.
But in the end, that's the charm of the series.
But it's not.
It feels broken, but it's shockingly fair.
There's both.
There's one or two ways.
There's all...
And even if you're not expected a certain way, there's always a way.
I was telling Pat, and I think I told Liam, but this is being new to you, Willie, is that
remember how Shovel Knight had the little bonfire?
Yeah.
The bonfire and the acts a little bit like, you know, the soul series, the bonfires.
And apparently in the beta, if you're playing it, if you die, then there's leftovers of
where you died.
Oh.
And money bags.
Oh.
So if you want that, like, because money is used to buy new items.
You can go collect it.
You can go collect it.
But if you die in a pit or somewhere precarious, it's like, am I going to fucking risk that?
It's right next to this enemy, and like, yeah, like that game fucking more Dark Souls-y's
than we thought.
That's a fun touch.
Not bad.
Not bad.
Cool.
That's it.
Man.
Yeah.
I just hermit it up and play DMC.
Your weeks have been getting increasingly simpler by leading up to bigger moves.
I've been working a lot more lately.
Well, next week, it's literally going to be Dark Souls 2.
Yeah, I'm not going to play.
I'm not going to play.
It is going to get simpler.
So I better finish Stick of Truth, like, tonight or tomorrow.
Which you can.
Which I can.
Sounds like it's going to happen.
Because you could even crack in some spirit.
Time for Vanquish.
You can't.
That Dark Souls 2.
Do Vanquish twice or so, you know?
Well, like, while Stick of Truth loading, just, you know.
Or you can fit in a Vanquish into Mirror's Edges.
Did you run into any problems with Stick of Truth?
No problems.
Because I've never seen everyone saying that it's fucking, like, progression blockers.
Nothing.
And you're playing it on PC.
I saw, like, one progression blocker that someone had, but I didn't see it too much.
But yeah, Liam's totally right.
The instant the taste of Dark Souls 2 hits my lips, I will drink nothing but for the entire
week.
Until I'm done.
That's a cast of visual.
It's a chalice, you fucker!
Really?
Because you didn't say that.
Well, get your brain out of the gutter.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I forgot.
As you point your lips to the Dark Souls 2.
Yeah, well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's delicious.
Put your lips to it.
Yeah.
You love the penetrator.
Start with the tip.
I hate the penetrator.
I think the penetrator is terrible.
We were playing it today.
Well, because every time I get to the penetrator, I've always unlocked Bior and Bior kicks his
ass for me.
You're right.
He devastated me.
We were playing a game today where I'm like, hey, look, it's a building.
You're like, it's a big dick!
It looks like a dick.
Well, it didn't.
It looks like a big cylindrical dick coming out of a building.
We're going to take a rolling start into the news this week.
It probably looks like a dick.
This news is dick.
Feel bad story of the week, you guys.
Again, feel bad story of the week.
Do we have to feel bad every week?
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're out of the way.
What do we got?
What do we got?
We're out that Parappa the Rapper's voice actor is a bit of a scumbag.
Straight up dick.
He's kind of a dick.
Are you sure you don't mean to feel good?
No.
Even before this, when PlayStation All Stars came out, the voice actor from Parappa the
Rapper was like, I'm so fucking pissed it didn't call me.
What the fuck?
I'm fucking homeless.
So this week, a Tumblr goes up where this guy is talking about, he's just posting logs
from a Facebook conversation that more or less happened between him and Dread Fox, who's
the Parappa the Rapper voice actor.
The short of it is, he joined the guy who wrote this, joined the Parappa fan page.
He's making a fan animation with some help from a bunch of Parappa fans.
They're all huge into it.
They love it and so on.
They said, hey, you know what would be awesome if we could get Dread Fox to do a couple lines.
So they basically got to ask them, hey, do you mind doing like seven or eight lines just
for a little short bit here?
And he's like, yeah, no, that's cool, man, no problem.
I though I'm going to have to charge you for maybe $1,000 an hour.
He's like, something maybe like 60, 100 bucks or so, like that.
And the guys were like, eh, okay, sure.
Is that not outrageous?
But it's, you know, they're like, all right, fine.
We were about to get the voice actor for Duke Nukem to do fucking shit for free.
Yeah.
That's because John St. John is a saint.
That's true.
Oh, very nice.
Dread Fox is a...
Not a good person.
Well, we didn't know until now, but you know, he then comes back and he agreed to 60 bucks
and then afterwards he came back and said, hey, look, so my agent found out about it
and actually we got to go through, you know, the whole the sound actors guild, kind of
like the screen actors guild type of thing and it's got to be 100 bucks because, you
know, she takes 20% and that's not how that math works out.
Yeah, yeah, and the guys, you know, and the guys like, all right, man, all right, fine.
Let's have fun.
Let's just do fan thing for the fans, you know?
No worries.
And dude's like, okay, cool.
Months go by and nothing happens.
By the way, these are 19 year old college students getting, getting played by what?
The young naive of the world.
And so like a month or two goes by and nothing happens and they're kind of like, hey dude,
what's going on?
No, sorry, man.
It's just, you know, my sound guy, the nerds that kind of helped me record this stuff.
I got like something was wrong with his computer and I couldn't get it to you, but don't worry,
it'll be up soon.
And then they gave him everything and they're just waiting on him.
They're waiting on him to deliver it because they sent the money and in the process of
sending the money, he's like, okay, my PayPal has something sketchy going on.
Okay, fuck you.
That way.
So you got to say my PayPal shut up.
PayPal's a bit sketchy, but they're like, why is it sketchy guy?
He's like, he didn't say, he's like, well, Western Union it to you.
And then like the, the, the storm hits New York.
So he comes, he doesn't deliver after another two, three months and they're like, hey, we
understand the storm hit.
And he's like, yeah, man, everything.
I lost the files.
I recorded them for you.
Cause that affects the internet.
Fucking fast forward to six months later and the guy has not delivered shit and they're
basically like, dude, can you send us our money back?
Why are you being a scumbag about this?
And dude's like, fuck you.
We didn't have anything in writing.
You, what are you talking about?
This is nothing official.
My favorite bit was the bit where he said, fuck you guys aren't anything.
Like you're something.
And every message just clearly shows like a guy that's just hurting for money and trying
to pinch a little bit more out of it every time.
That's the part that I get really confused about in this story is like, is ruining your
good name worth a hundred dollars.
Apparently.
Especially when your good name is your most valuable commodity as an actor or voice actor.
And he's even dropping things in the letters like, don't worry guys, I'll have it for
you soon.
You gotta believe.
You motherfucker.
Right?
Like he's doing stuff like that.
And now he's just going.
I knew Lammy was too good for Parappa.
And now he's ranting at these fucking 19 year old kids that are just there like guys.
They publicly.
Give me the money.
They publicly said this guy's scamming us for our money.
We really think it's kind of gross that he would do this and he's just, he's doing like
a hundred bucks.
Caps, rents, losing his mind right now.
Who does this shit for a hundred bucks?
Unbelievable.
And it's for the fans of you.
Yeah, I know.
So it really sucks, but feel bad story guys.
It's not a hard voice to do either.
You like.
I gotta believe.
Yeah.
Look, Pat just did it.
John, I just did it.
You just gotta believe.
Like it's not.
Yeah.
You gotta do what?
You gotta believe.
The most important.
You gotta believe.
That happy little voice just being sofa.
Yeah, I gotta talk to my agent man.
You know I'm good for it.
You know I'm good for it.
Like fuck dude.
I don't think he talks like that when he doesn't have to.
You know what?
I think you bet.
I bet he does.
Actually, he writes like that.
Oh, he writes worse than that.
Go read the post.
It's bad.
It's bad.
I don't want to.
This further cements how last year we saw Creepy Parappa.
That should have been the sign.
That should have been the sign.
Creepy Parappa was Sony's way of letting us know.
It's the Omen.
This guy's actually a bishop.
He's super creepy.
How does that fucking song go?
The third one with the fucking gecko or the lizard?
Morning, morning, morning is all in the...
I got the funky flow, but now I really got to go.
We got the one where it's like, money, money, money, money, money, money, money.
Yeah, well exactly Dread Fox.
You learned a lesson there.
Oh man.
Way to be a scumbag.
So yeah.
Way to be a highly visible scumbag.
Like that is really because it's a character that's very endearing and is kind of naivety.
And there's the big rumor that like Parappa 3 is going to be a thing and stuff.
Oh, what does mother fucker know about that guy?
So he ruined his name for the cost of his two games at retail price.
Not anymore.
At the time.
At the MSI.
At the MSI.
As was the staggered time.
But it's like, you know, you could get that shit for like $4.00 or something.
There was more sad news this week.
Well, tons of sad news actually.
You mother fuckers.
We're moving on, but it doesn't get any happier.
I got to this podcast to feel good.
Don't.
You look like you're feeling good.
I feel really good.
You didn't like how long she can sleep and then Dark Souls will come out.
The faster I can sleep, the faster Dark Souls will come out.
I can't sleep.
Oh shit.
That's the best kind of life.
It's totally like literally Christmas level.
I can't sleep.
So that's good though.
This week.
Shut up.
Um, this week is a bit of a week of walks.
People are walking.
We're going to start with Amy Hennig.
Oh.
Oh yes.
Amy Hennig walking from Naughty Dog.
Did she walk or was she forced to walk?
She walked.
Because they later came out to clarify that they see that there's a story.
Amy Hennig is the writer of Uncharted 1, 2, 3.
And Soul Reaver series.
Yes.
Therefore giving Pat much less reason to care about Naughty Dog.
It was alleged originally.
It was alleged originally when the article came out that she was forced out.
By the writers of The Last of Us, I believe.
By The Last of Us team, exactly.
And Naughty Dog came out and said, that is super untrue.
Nobro.
Yes, she left.
It's unfortunate that we won't be working with her anymore, but these guys had nothing
to do with it.
There's a weird code where they said times change.
Yeah.
Which I felt was kind of weird.
It's really weird and unclear as to why she's gone.
Well, I mean, you know, people leave game companies all the time.
I know, but it's such a high profile.
I just mean it's an employee that is so, like, core to that modern image.
Sure.
I get that.
But like the guy who made the web swinging in Spider-Man 2.
Right.
He walked.
Nobody knew about it.
We just happened to know about her name.
That's because he worked for Activision.
We just happened to know about her name.
In this case, though, like there often wouldn't be a response officially of any kind of just
like, yeah, this person left and that's the best thing.
That person's personal business.
Right.
But the fact that they actually went out of their way to come out and go, this is bad
journalism.
They said, suck it, IGN.
They said, this is misreported, like poor journalism.
It kind of lends some credence to the fact that, yeah, you know what, maybe she was not
forced out, like, at least she's replying.
Maybe.
You know.
Maybe things aren't always as bad as they seem.
That could have been someone's whispered leak that was just unhappy at the time.
I don't know.
I saw, like, a little rumors.
Like, then they would find it weird that the whole movie deal for Last of Us went through
the same week.
Maybe.
And that the director of Last of Us is writing the story and there's some sort of conflict.
Maybe.
Maybe.
It's weird.
Maybe.
But I mean, that's just speculation.
You guys want to speculate wildly?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know this is going to hire her again and she may be like, see Kane games again.
And maybe any Amy Hennig would be.
Why are you going to do this?
Well, because.
Why am I going to do this to myself?
Because then she would be hired to write those games again.
All they're working on is Gex.
You don't know it.
People love the lizard.
People love the lizard, man.
I wouldn't mind Gex because this whole deal is.
Name me another game that runs on the Gex engine.
Gex?
Starts with an A.
No, I'm not going to name you another game.
It's a Kuzi the Heartless.
Oh.
That's true.
And I believe that engine's also used for Soul Reaver 1.
More importantly, it's a fucking Kuzi the Heartless.
That game is so fast.
It's a slight surprise.
Oh, it's so fucking terrible.
The other walk this week was a much bigger walk, missed Jack Trenton.
Oh, yeah.
He just walked out.
He's like, I'm old.
He just got up and he pissed out.
What was it, 15 years of service?
And he's like 60 now, so I don't know.
Is he walking over to the rocking chair?
Or is he being pushed?
No, he's not retired.
It didn't imply that he's retired.
It implied that he's leaving.
But the new guy coming in is like super well-equipped in that regard.
Yeah.
Or was he pushed out?
Yeah.
Or was he sniped?
Or was he forced out?
What if Jack Trenton becomes the new Microsoft J. Allard?
Yeah.
Jack Trenton already got Phil Harrison.
Now they need Jack Trenton to save them, and then in the future, maybe even Kaz-er-on.
Jack Trenton and Reggie leaves Nintendo next week and they all form like a super company
in this Pizza Hut alliance.
Yeah, the Pizza Hut alliance.
The Pizza Hut alliance.
I would love a Pizza Hut video game console.
Yeah.
You get a pizza with every game.
Yeah.
It would be like a super band.
It's better than the Ouya.
And then whatever they make would be garbage, and they'd break up and go back to their original
game.
Yeah, but then the console would be stuffed with delicious cheese.
Yeah.
It doesn't matter.
You're just talking nonsense now, man.
I could stuff anything with cheese.
You could.
If you're angry enough.
If you've got us, if you've oiled up enough.
So are we going to do some dirty journalism speculation on why he left?
Kaz-er-on.
Because Sony's falling apart.
Oh.
This guy's falling.
So what other sad news happened this week?
Who else left?
Jack Trenton leaving isn't really sad.
A lot of people are portraying it that way, but you're right.
It's not really sad.
The weird love affair that people-
The weird love affair that people-
I guess it becomes because of Sony did the whole, we're downsizing things.
Yeah.
It's just the timing makes people talk.
The weird love affair that people have with video game company CEOs as like their mascots
ends up getting really weird and was like, this businessman is not going to do business
at this company anymore.
Except now.
No!
Except now they've understood that and they're pushing the matter.
But this Iwata is a character.
Yeah.
And your house, they're trying to push Andrew's house.
And fucking yours.
Yeah.
These are household names for me.
And it's so weird because I remember one that used to be just the head of marketing.
Yeah.
Right?
At best.
Back when it was just Perrin Kaplan.
Yeah.
The OSB is over.
The OSB is so over.
Okay.
Imagine if Reggie is actually put into smash.
If he then leaves the company, do they DLC him out?
No, no, no.
Place him with Mr. Sandman.
The place with Mr. Tree.
No, the place with Mike Tyson.
Yeah.
I think, honestly, Reggie being the head of marketing, then becoming the president represents
that change in a way.
Yeah.
A bit.
Because it shouldn't work hard.
You should find it on them.
You know, Twitter starts picking up.
People start following people and you're paying attention to these guys as the mascots of
their companies.
Exactly.
Got people talking to Hideki Kamiya.
Why doesn't Sony have a mascot?
Hideki Kamiya telling people to fuck their mothers and get them out in space.
Good.
People need to know when they're being idiots.
How do you fuck your mother?
Use your brain.
To eat shit.
Do all three.
Multi-task.
You can do it.
It's a big day at the Platinum offices.
Next week in Game Magazines.
So what other sad news?
Well, I'm looking at this docket and it ain't getting much better, so let's just keep rolling.
I found out this week.
This week?
I found out that Japan does not care about Little Mac.
They don't give a fuck.
This site called Legends of Localization ran a little study by checking comments on various
Japanese game message boards.
Not just one or two, like a decent spread.
And it was just straight up, the article is called What Does Japan Think of Little Mac
and Smash Brothers?
And the overwhelming majority is just, I think they should have left this as a trophy character.
I don't know who this is.
They should have used Kung Fu Guy instead.
Well, see, here's the reason, because there's no punch out game on a handheld system.
Ah, that's it.
Sorry, who is this?
Are they even taking this roster seriously?
Oh fuck that guy.
You're like, punch out's been super dead and the recent punch out was sold best in Canada.
Yeah.
Like, shh.
You know it's rough when you're selling best in Canada.
One guy is like, wait, who is this again?
And then he's from Mike Tyson's punch out, right?
Only middle aged guys like me would know him.
I'm not middle aged.
They don't give a fuck.
I'm 27, for fuck's sake.
Punch out was nothing to Japan.
Sure, but like, if we...
Solution.
In Japan, make him Epo.
Yeah, sure.
That's probably a bigger problem than it is a solution.
If we got like Takamaru, I'm sure there'd be a lot of people who'd be like, who the fuck
is this?
This should have been so...
I'll think that's cool.
It's like when we got those stupid Japanese cats in Grazdeck and...
No one cared.
They're the Sony cats.
Yeah, it's not the same thing, just the reverse.
Well, and the interesting thing is that to follow up and have some better reference,
he also starts quoting who they would like to see in general and some of the top of the
list is Paper Mario.
Yeah, I'd love that.
Another Mario?
No, no, too many Mario.
Well, whatever.
And then...
We're cut out Mario when we're placing with Paper Mario.
And then fucking second on the list is Captain Rainbow.
Yeah, I saw that.
So, like, just to show you cultural differences, character that we give no fucks about.
Oh, Captain Rainbow would be pretty funny.
I love how two of you are funny.
Sacrifice Smash Update today was showing the overweight Mac from Captain Rainbow.
Yeah, I've seen it.
It has a screenshot today.
But we...
But things that, like, in the West, we cared about stuff that we never got, like disaster.
We cared about...
Oh, I fucking flipped, like...
Okay, now that Mac's in the game, if Rey was in Smash, I'd fucking flip my shit.
But, I mean, looking through those trophies, seeing, like, Ray Mark II before we had Custom
Robo, seeing Fire Emblem characters.
Fire Emblem characters.
Before we knew who the fuck they were.
Dude, they were cool.
People, like, fucking writing fanfic for Fire Emblem based on these two characters with
no details.
Sure.
Because they're so cool.
What's that girl?
Detective stories.
This one guy has a fire sword.
Which one, sir?
The trophy of, like, Detective Story's girl.
She was a human-looking girl, and she had a trophy, and everyone was like, oh, who's
this Nintendo girl?
Right, right, right.
Which game?
Which game?
Sorry, it was a trophy from Melee.
Melee?
Yeah, it's a lot of trophies.
Well, it's not the one.
It's not the girl from another code.
It's not the girl from another code.
Detective Club?
Yes!
Yes, I think that's one of those.
We will never, ever see, ever, ever, ever.
Yeah.
You know, we just kind of went, who the fuck is that?
That looks cool.
We love that.
Yeah.
And these guys are just like, oh, like...
I'm kind of shocked that Japan would be like that when it's like, if you don't know the
characters, clearly he's a fighting guy that can fight.
Why would you be against his inclusion if you don't know who he is, and it's fights?
I also think it's just cultural differences, because at the same time, if you go to someone
who's not super into games here and you show them anything stupid Japanese, they're just
going to be like, what the fuck is that?
Yeah, but if you're looking at the video game and the way Smash works, he's a guy, like,
I think Japan on a base level would be like, well, he's a fighting guy, he's got uppercuts
in this.
Why is, like...
Not my Smash Bros.
Not my Smash Bros.
I also would love to actually see the full distribution, because like, I wonder if it's
like a 40-60 split, or if it's like a 10-90 split.
Okay, on the positive-negative, you mean?
Because no, there's some positive comments, I was picking out some of the most annoying
worst ones, but there's some people that are like, yes, I like this, I don't know who
he is, but his movements look cool.
I read one that was like, oh, this guy's for the West, for sure, about time they get a
character.
Um, yeah.
Yeah.
But then you look at...
Tons of characters in games that Nintendo actively forbids us from playing, like fucking
Lucas.
Right.
People that don't exist in the West.
Um, and that's why we deserve one, and other characters on this wanted list include Monster
Hunter.
Just, just the logo?
Just Monster Hunter.
I don't know if you remember, but when Marvel 3 was coming out, there were a lot of people
going, where the fuck is the Monster Hunter character?
Even Tetsunoko, I'm pretty sure.
Yeah.
It's like, there should be a Monster Hunter.
But there is no Monster Hunter.
No, the Monster Hunter.
There is, every game has a set of armor that is the guy, the one for that series.
Or you could just put him in a Rathalos set.
Or Kirin Girl.
Yeah, sure.
Or you could do it with the cat guy.
Also Shulk.
Shulk?
Shulk.
Shulk.
Shulk would be great.
Shulk.
And I don't doubt that he might actually still be on the roster.
They should never put Shulk in, cause like, you can tell just by reading that that this
is from the chorus of core people voting, because Xenoblade sold poorly in Japan.
So quite poorly in Japan.
Monodou.
Didn't sell well in Japan at all.
That's telling me a lot about this list.
The last story sold, like, better.
Yeah, like in North America.
Actually pretty sure the last story sold better than Monodou in Japan.
Put a water in it.
Just put a water in it.
Yeah, right.
But no specific action figure.
Yeah, no specific action figure.
You all forgot.
But who didn't?
You love that guy.
I love that guy.
I got like 10 of them.
It's just a bummer to find out that some of our, like, necessary love is not translated.
It just means nothing.
Stop not caring about the thing I care about.
I hate you.
I hate the band you like.
Well, because it's the opposite of that.
Yeah, I know.
But, like, over here, we don't care about some Japanese stuff, because it never existed.
Over there, they were just like, eh, like, just today we're talking about Ninja Scroll.
Yeah.
Who gives a fuck about Ninja Scroll in Japan?
Not as many people as America.
Over here, it's everything to us, you know?
But this happens inverted all the time, too.
It is a bunch of Japanese shit that you hate.
It is one of the founding blocks of anime in North America.
I bet you there is, as a contingent of people out there in Japan that would be really stoked
if Captain Price from Call of Duty was the guest character instead of Snake, instead of
Snake.
Sure.
Or Soap McTabish.
There's a lot of military there.
Yeah, Captain Price.
And, like, plus there's a lot of Call of Duty cosplays from Japan.
At the PS4 launch event in Japan.
Call of Duty sounds pretty good in Japan.
It sounds alright.
Alright, yeah.
Square Enix pushes it and stuff.
They're like, hey, we're going to push it.
Yeah, exactly.
The first guy who bought a PS4 was cosplaying as Call of Duty, specifically, not just military
guy.
Yeah.
Like, when Ice Climbers were announced, Ice Climbers came out in North America, but
no one really...
Oh, no, no, no, no.
I love Ice Climbers.
I played it in the arcade.
But the majority.
I was like, who the fuck, who gives a shit?
Okay, no.
I had it completely different.
I got hype.
For sure.
I did not.
But for, like, 40% of the characters in Smash, it's always like a toss up.
Like, Rob.
Sure.
Also, for people like, fuck you, this is the 4 Smash game?
Fucking like, do your research, this character has been around since 1980, whatever.
But it's fine.
Let's let people dislike, because it's the same thing over here.
You can tell that a lot of these are coming from young people, that just makes me hate
them more.
Can we get a cool new character and get fucking Yoshi the fuck out of Smash?
Oh, shut up.
No, Yoshi is the most wasted slaughter.
So wrong, you don't even tune Link.
You know it's tune Link.
Tune Link and most wasted character.
I'd rather have five Link's than still have Yoshi.
You're dumb.
Like, no, I don't like it that much either, but I wouldn't say take it out from me.
Like, absolutely tune Link.
Swapping for yarn Yoshi or something, but like, key yarn Yoshi won't be out.
I can't fucking stand Yoshi.
Nah, dude.
Fucking little dinosaur.
Like, how do you...
Yeah, shove it down your throat, you fucking dinosaur.
Dr. Mario can kick the fuck off.
Well, they're gonna have all costumes.
He eats it all.
Shove it down your throat.
He eats all the eggs.
But as a slot.
Yeah, he's gone.
Which is why he's gone.
Yeah, shit like that can fuck right off.
I have super double standards, because for me, I won't Ganondorf to stay the way he is.
No, Ganondorf will...
No, he's changing.
But I don't...
We've been over this, like you're a Ganon player.
Yeah, exactly.
I think everyone who plays their character...
Go back to Captain Falcon.
No, because he's different.
No, shut up, though.
He's totally different.
He knows.
If you made a Street Fighter game and they made Ken more different, I'd be cool with that.
Yeah, but if they took away Blanka's role, like...
But no one plays like Blanka.
If there was another three games with Blanka in them where he stopped rolling, I'd have
to give it up.
Yeah.
I'd have to say, alright, it makes sense.
Blanka in my head is not what exists anymore.
So Sword Ganon or the three others that came after.
Yeah, I know.
I know.
No, as long as it's not Pig Ganon, that'd be terrible.
Give Ganon different stances.
I just want Ganon to be the way he is.
I want him to be a copy of another character.
Do you know who's the character who people didn't like in America?
Captain Hallmark.
Well, yeah.
A lot of people...
Why?
I like Captain Hallmark.
Because he's not cool.
What are you talking about?
To Americans.
He's so cool.
To Americans, he's not cool.
He's a fucking hero.
I don't care for all of them.
No, exactly.
I'm totally different.
I don't hate him.
He represents a UIP.
I saw him get on the roster.
I think he deserves a slot.
Yeah, sure.
Fuck it.
Yeah, he deserves a slot.
I'm not burning with vigor for him, but it represents a new thing.
Right.
Burning with vigor for...
Happy.
Little Mac.
Yeah.
There you go.
Or...
Vigor Overflow.
I'm an idiot because I'm forgetting his name, but Skyward Swordvillain.
Gerahim?
Gerahim.
Yeah.
Gerahim would be awesome.
Yeah.
I'd rather have Xant over Gerahim.
I love Xant.
Xant is...
Xant is cool.
I would rather...
But Gerahim, you can do more with him, move-wise.
I would rather...
He has a lot more stuff.
Downbeat.
Catch your fucking attack.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I would rather Xant had a themed Twilight Princess stage that changed like his boss battle.
Totally.
Yeah.
It's cool.
Yeah.
I think that'd be really cool.
I still think Minna...
Like Willy's Minna and Wolf Link.
Yeah.
Wolf Link is...
Willy's Minna Wolf.
Um...
Adult Sexy Minna is fine for me.
Yeah.
Other news.
Take this as you open...
What about Happy News?
It depends on who you are and how you sit.
Because I know there's one concrete unhappy news that hasn't come up yet.
Uh...
How about that Batman Arkham Knight?
Uh...
What?
Okay, so to me, my thing with that is just...
The name makes no fucking sense anymore.
Yes.
It makes no sense and I know they have to.
Arkham Origins itself made no sense because it had nothing to do with Arkham Asylum.
Because Arkham has...
The word Arkham has now transcended what Arkham actually is.
Yeah.
And now they're using Arkham as if it were the word Gotham.
You know what I mean?
Willy, Willy, sorry.
The Arkham Knight is a new villain.
That's not a reference to Batman.
No, this is a new villain being introduced.
The Arkham Knight.
He is the antagonist of the game.
That's the worst name I've ever heard from any guy ever.
And he's...
He's belongs to Arkham Asylum or Arkham...
Nobody knows.
He's the Arkham Knight.
But...
But making things...
From marketing purposes, they also just called it Arkham Knight to make people know that
this is the next and the Arkham is the next.
And it is the next and the Arkham is the next.
But I'm just saying, it's not like they didn't just call it that or shit.
But you are running out of interesting ways to use the word Arkham because that was named
after a character and place in the original thing.
And now it's transcending that.
I just don't...
Arkham said he totally made sense in the context of the story.
I don't know why you're ragging on it so much when they confirm this is the last one.
No, it's not.
It's the last one by Rocksteady.
And so you can stop caring after that.
But like it's Rocksteady.
I already kind of don't care.
I'm surprised at the lack of enthusiasm for Rocksteady.
Origins poison the brand.
Sure, but it's Rocksteady.
But it doesn't matter.
I'm already...
I was getting tired of Batman in city, like halfway through sugar.
And why would I care if I can...
I didn't like the open world part of city.
But why would I drive when I can fly?
What do I give a shit about the Batmobile?
You can fucking fly.
It's fast and cool.
But you can fly.
You can fly.
That's pretty close.
I'm going off what Pat said when they go,
hey, new Arkham game, the Batmobile bullet point on the...
Like I give me something new.
But like, it's going to be the exact same fucking game.
There's going to be...
Guess what?
Riddler trophies.
There'll be a thousand this time.
There'll be a thousand this time.
Is the Arkham Knight really the Joker?
Yes.
Yeah, probably.
Okay.
They said the Joker and the Joker's done.
They said that the last time too.
For Origins?
Yeah.
Yeah, and he was totally in Origins.
He was the main villain.
Yeah.
So there's no faith on that.
I really, really, really wish Rocksteady was making their own new IP instead of this.
And it's the next thing.
Like Ratman.
Like Ratman.
We need to push Ratman.
It's the same thing as Assassin's Creed where I got really fucking tired of it because
of some bad games.
And like, maybe it'll be like Assassin's Creed 4.
I'll be like, okay, cool.
But the initial reveal, I was really dehyped.
Actually, you know what?
It applies pretty directly to that analogy.
Because there was the one bad one, which would be three.
Yeah.
Or Origins.
Or Revelations.
Or Revelations.
And everyone's just like...
And then, but that's the hype though.
But when it comes out, we'll go, I'll try it.
We'll go, oh, I really like this part.
It's also very easy to see.
Probably.
AC4 kind of brought it back.
It's because it's a sailing game.
It's not an Assassin's Creed game.
Yeah.
60%.
It's also on the way here, just to throw it out there.
The little idea you thought of.
Oh my god.
Imagine Assassin's Creed 4 style world except your Tetra and you have a boat with all the
pirates on her crew in Wind Waker World.
Same controls and same basic idea.
That's not bad.
Because Tetra's like the coolest other game.
Sploom, shove this whole fucking boat up Ganon's ass.
For me though, on Batman, it's like, I'm happy because of a combination of things.
I'm happy that it's next gen only so it's not going to be healthy.
That's good.
That is by far the most exciting thing because I think it's one of the, like aside from infamous
and other stuff, it's the first like third party big, big game.
It's like, this is a fucking new video game.
Yes.
Exactly.
This is not an old video game.
It shows that the publisher is confident that they don't need to put it on a million
skews to try to recoup costs.
Exactly.
That's really cool.
It's by Rock City so I'm sure it's going to be the best one since City, which if you
remember was a fucking great game.
I hope it's as good as Arkham Asylum which is way better than City.
A lot of people would contest you on that.
I like Asylum better though.
I like the Metroidvania thing way more than the Open World.
No, I like it better too.
You know, it's going to be by these guys and also it's their last one so I'm also rejoicing
that, hey, I'm going to get to play another great Batman game and then I can ignore it.
I can punch the Joker again in a bad boss fight.
Whatever.
It won't be as bad this time.
Maybe it'll be worse.
Maybe it'll be worse.
I doubt it.
Yeah, there's no reason to say that.
And more and more Harley Quinn that looks like that chick from Vampire of the Master
Rage.
I'm so pissed that that Harley Quinn design goes backwards.
Yeah, I know it.
The one in Arkham City I had no promise with but the fucking sexy nurse?
Not a fan.
Do you know Vampire of the Master Rage?
Yeah, of course.
There's a character that looks exactly like her.
All of the girls of Vampire of the Master of the Master of the Master of the Master.
No, not a fan.
And I'm happy they're doing the multiplayer.
Girls with pigtails are hot.
So it's...
Well, Liam just said I do like the fact that there's no multiplayer on this one.
Yeah, good.
Single player focus.
That is a good sign.
They fucking understand.
You're totally right.
It's a super good sign.
So stop putting multiplayer in your games and to multiplayer developers stop putting
single players in your games.
Especially when they don't need to be there.
Stop listening to your marketing guys.
I think it's also a bit of Batman just over exposure.
Sure.
Yes, it's DC's by far most popular hero.
I'm going to find Calenderman's room again.
Oh god, you're so...
You know it's going to be there.
I can see where all the hype comes from but at the same time I can't help but not get
excited just because...
I want my cynicism to be dashed.
If Origins never exist, I'd be way more hyped.
I'm sure.
And also if this had been a gameplay trailer, I would have probably been just as hyped.
But it's hard to get hype on the idea, but once you show me and it's like super shiny,
I'll probably go...
Yeah, me too.
Me too.
I also found the trailer really pretentious.
Oh, it's so absurd.
Yes.
It's like fucking bullshit, crying me some crocodile tears.
It was taking that 25 second spot and expanding it into a three minute trailer.
Totally.
Right?
Thomas Wayne only had a few words but stretched it out to a two minute promo.
Like maybe you can do a thing where you put a mask on.
I don't know, act like some kind of crime fighter, but don't give up on this city.
What a made up thing for the trailer that never existed.
Dude's predicting shit like Tupac.
Like he's fucking calling shots.
If you find a lawyer that has a burnt off face, punch him in the butt.
Also, I just want to say after seeing that, you know how this generation passed?
The big thing was like bloom lighting, that kind of stuff.
Bloom was so huge for so long.
As soon as this Batman trailer came out, it cemented in my mind this generation, it's
all going to be chromatic aberration.
Oh yeah, you're totally right.
And it wasn't just this one.
No, there was that trailer for Murdered Soul Suspect.
Yeah, chromatic aberration.
Huge.
It's going to be big.
It's all over Titanfall.
It's all over that cyberpunk trailer.
What was before bloom lighting?
Lens flare.
So it went from lens flare to HDR and bloom lighting.
Now we're going to chromatic aberration.
I feel like Def Jam, Vendetta and Mario Galaxy had some early examples of really obvious HDR
showing up, like the amount of white showing up on Mario's hat on Galaxy.
And then they cranked it up and you always got to find the next big thing to jump onto.
All Nintendo games have that lighting now.
Gameplay wise though, you can pretty much also say detective vision.
Oh yeah.
Well, that's a bit of it, but yeah, definitely.
It's like Z-Targeting.
It's like it's viral now.
Yeah, everything.
Even Lara Croft had detective vision.
The voice of God.
No problem, Lara.
Before I continue down this spiral drain pipe, what was your piece of bad news that you
wanted to build up to?
Do you have Shifty Look in there?
Go ahead with it.
Okay, so Shifty Look closing down today.
That's Shifty.
Shifty Look is a Western branch that Namco opened up.
And the purpose of Shifty Look was to take completely dead IPs, like Sky Kid, like Gallagher,
like Time Crisis.
Gallagher's not dead.
And just shake them up and put some life in them.
They were the guys that brought back Wonder Momo and Bravo Man.
Yeah.
So the Wonder Momo anime, which is great, is running.
They're finishing up their comics.
They're going to pull those to the end.
Their games are going off soon.
Way forwards, Wonder Momo game is still coming out.
But otherwise, they're closing down.
They're closing down Namco High, which was that really ambitious dating sim they made,
remember?
No, no, but for real.
Like that was Jin Kazama.
Yeah, I brought it up.
There's a name for my dating sim.
Dude, you can date Gallagher, the ship.
Okay, I'm in.
Wait, could I date Jin Kazama?
Then I don't care.
No, but King was the vice principal.
That's awesome.
And Deep Dug was the principal.
Yeah.
Tori Haizo.
Yeah, you could date what's his face from Time Crisis?
The guy?
The black haired guy?
Yeah.
You could date like tons of guys.
They went nuts.
A female version of the drum from fucking...
Tycho Jyko?
Yeah, her name's Donko.
It's such a cute, neat little pet project studio where it was all like, hey, take these completely
dead things and stir it up and they're gone today, unfortunately.
Yeah, it does seem kind of bad.
It's not hard to see why, but it is kind of a shame.
Maybe they should hire them to stir themselves up now that they're dying.
Wow.
Stir the studio up.
They'll be fine as soon as they get their PS4 games out.
Gundam and Idolmaster can't fail.
That's true.
Is Japan probably not?
Probably not.
There should be an Idolmaster Gundam.
I thought you were going to say gun.
I thought you were just going to stop at gun.
Just fucking Zaku's on the stage.
God's doing twirls and putting up the victory V.
Exactly.
That'd be a great DLC for it.
And the other way.
Or a Gundam game in which you play as the Idolmasters.
Well fuck, they already have Gundams halfway there, like Lux and pink rock.
Anyway, moving on.
We should just cross the fuck over with them.
We'll lose upset about Gundams.
You guys don't like Gundam.
Oh boy, Shaq Fu.
Oh boy.
Shut up.
Sorry, is this in the bad or the good news?
This is in the, I don't know what to make of this news.
It's definitely fucking news.
Because they are clearly acknowledging that, hey, remember Shaq Fu?
No, shut up.
It was garbage.
We don't want to make that again, but we want to bring it back for the lulls.
Let's make it a different genre by the way.
It's not even a fighting game, but who's going to notice?
Shaq didn't.
Fighting game is actually pretty hard to do, you guys.
You actually chose the better route there.
So let's attempt character action?
What?
I would say, I want to stalk you there and say they're not attempting character action,
because they don't know what that is.
They're attempting beat them up in the style of modern beat them up then.
Exactly.
I already wrote on the Facebook that I had-
Because all beat them up's aspire to be character action without knowing it.
But they don't know it.
Without knowing it.
I had a problem with this project, the fact that Shaq could pay for this game a million
times over.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I know there's more factors, but that was my initial gut reaction.
Okay.
A developer that-
Is Charles Barkley a stretch goal?
I want to shoot it back to you right after.
A developer that splinters off from their company, then wants to make their own thing, doesn't
have that capital.
Shaq does.
I know there's more factors, we'll get into it, but that's an initial like-
I know.
I know that's the feeling, because you see a face and you go, that guy means money.
But does that mean that every project with somebody of any notoriety, even games with
big names involved-
This is a sports star that got paid millions and millions of dollars a year.
Well, for me it's like-
If they were making a Jay Leno game, it'd be like, come on Jay, pay for your fucking game.
That's glorifying you.
For me, that's glorifying me.
Well, for me it's more like, because $450,000 minimum they want.
It's not that bad of a goal.
It's not.
For Shaq to pay for the whole thing, were he to, he would be paying $450,000 with no promises.
The good thing about having a drive is that you get to see if people are willing to actually-
I know it's a risk, like even if it's $400,000 and he looks like he has whatever amount of
money in the bank, but the last time I looked at it, doesn't seem like it's tracking to meet
its goal.
Actually, it wasn't that bad.
It was, there's still like 40 something days left and they're at 70.
There's 71.
Let's take an example from Matt's point of view here, is when that guy wanted to do the Skyrim
mod of us as characters, we've voice acted for that.
For Jamie?
Jamie.
Thank you, I always forget his name.
We've voice acted for that for free.
Because it's about us.
Yeah.
And we were like, this looks cool, so Shaq thinks it's cool enough to like-
But doing a thing where you're showing up for free versus like this is making a thing
about you, it's a bit different.
But I always think of like when people got upset about the fact that oh, Veronica Mars
is a Kickstarter or the Zach Braff movie, as well that came up and stuff and I kind
of think of it like-
Or Spike Lee.
Or that one.
Yeah.
But every project is a project, right?
And if you have a big name attached to it, like at what point do you go, how big is your
bank account?
You can pay for this whole thing.
It's not always as if the person involved is a full investor to that degree.
Sometimes they're just a part of this project.
No, but I still liken that to the fact that an actor, especially like a what's-her-face,
Jamie Bell, who like is not really that big of a star, or Zach Braff is not really the
big of a star, Shaq is fucking rich.
Shaq is rich.
Yeah.
Shaq can go swimming in a swimming pool of money.
Your point still stands, but I'm just saying there is a bit of a difference between Jamie,
whatever her name is.
If there was a Bill Gates game and the guys were like, hey, we got to pay Bill Gates a
hundred grand for his appearance in this game and be like, man, what the fuck?
I know, and I understand that feeling, but you know it gets more complicated.
It does, though.
That's why I said that.
Oh, totally.
And I agree with Matt, but I also agree with you and it's like, yeah, but it's the gut
feeling, you know?
It's not my brain.
Yeah.
I mean, Shaq's not saying, like, I'm doubling up that 450 once it hits the goal, you know?
We don't know what is going on.
He's probably saying I wish I was still a cop.
That being said, the actual screenshots of the game, like, if I was to space the screenshots,
I wouldn't look too bad.
The visual style is cool.
I like how it's a straight ripoff, but I love the Street Fighter 4 art style.
Yeah, they're just going on it.
They're just going for it.
It looks good visually.
And he's taking some dinky-ass screenshots of himself, like making silly faces.
That seems to be kind of the biggest thing people took away from the jacket and the green
suit.
I wouldn't, if it makes its goal, I wouldn't mind checking it out, but, you know.
But more importantly, it turns out that when he was talking about it at CES the other day,
he wasn't even lying.
Yeah, because it looked like he's like, is he, what is, he's joking, right?
He's completely full of shit.
And he's not.
No, not at all.
My only qualm with the project is there, in their stretch goals, that order for new console
versions.
And it goes like PS3 360, Vita 3DS, and then Xbox One, PS4.
That seems reasonable.
How are you strong with that?
I, like, I don't know.
I'm just so on next-gen hype that I'm like, fuck, why isn't next-gen?
But that costs more.
It costs more.
No, it doesn't.
Yeah, it does.
It costs.
Why?
Do you suddenly have to have four times the assets?
You can make the same game.
Yeah, but they, they're not known systems.
They're brand new.
No, no.
But they're easier to make games for.
This is known.
Yeah, but they also have the lowest amount of people.
But they have the highest sales.
I can tell you that first time.
Your, your, your, your submission costs are higher.
Your submission costs are higher.
Well, their systems have cheaper submission costs.
Not by a significant amount.
Well, I always have a check pay for it.
You know this?
It does.
Yeah.
It's a super significant amount.
No, no, no, no.
Like half.
Sure, but like the sales differences.
You are taught that.
But that, but that's why that they're in the order that there is.
Yeah.
No, no, but I mean, like the sales you'll get on next-gen are way bigger.
But it's in order to fund the thing being made.
And sales are after the fact.
This is a downloadable game, is it not?
Can we, can we roll back around to the bit where I said this is a personal qualm?
No, totally.
I'm not saying they're doing anything wrong.
I'm just saying the only, actually the only wrong thing is 3DS should be right at the
end because they have to really fucking fiddle the whole game to shit.
But that's the most popular by far.
Well, but it's not where the sales are at inversely.
Well, it's like, I mean PS4 is not at the top for certain.
Yeah.
But, I, it just, I think they put it in the order of what-
If I'm making a game, that would be the order I would do.
Like the order they put it in, you'd have to think is they thought about this, they
did the research and they said, this is what we can accomplish, right?
So it might not be the order we like, but at least they're not putting false promises
out that-
No, for sure.
They might even be false promises in the order they're at now, but they definitely selected
it according to what they think they can accomplish.
That being said, there is one thing that is part of that.
It's like going to the Batman thing, man, I'm sick of fucking games that come out on
everything.
Fucking switch it all to the next gen now.
Right now.
People are still adopting.
I don't give a fuck I have it.
Yeah.
And I have a PC that will crush it anyway, so give it to me.
But also even though people are adopting, it doesn't matter because the sales are there.
Strider fucking out sold everything.
Give me.
Strider is top of the week.
It's top of the week.
It's top of the week.
I can't believe that shit.
Top of the ten.
Yeah, top of the ten.
Just top of the ten.
Yes.
Like the name Strider being associated with top anything is so fucking funny.
You know what, Willie?
I'm pretty sure it was due to our videos.
That's right.
We definitely went the wrong way.
Don't forget Max.
Max helped too.
Max helped that too.
He did.
He got the work done.
Yep.
I do like the fact that in the Shack thing, they're like, we won't eff it up.
We won't fool it up.
Even though you aren't the same developers.
That's totally a promise that they're going to fuck it up.
And then they got the developers.
There is like the guy from France on camera.
Really?
Oh yeah, if you go watch the video, they went to the original dudes and like, they're totally
like shit talking to them and like putting the wrong subtitles on what he's saying and
shit like that.
I didn't watch the entire pitch video.
I watched the trailer of the game.
Okay.
Yeah.
No, it's actually kind of funny.
Moving along as far as Kickstarter goes, although that was Indiegogo.
That was not Kickstarter.
That was Indiegogo.
Yeah.
Because that's why they have more than a month.
Crowdfunding.
And also Indiegogo takes less money away.
Yeah.
They get the money right away even if they don't succeed.
But they take it immediately.
Yeah.
They take it immediately.
I'm always bummed by Indiegogo because when I see an amazing project on there, I'm like,
damn, they get so much more money if they were on Kickstarter.
Yeah.
But they need that money now.
No, I know.
But like, god damn it.
I wish they could just have that popularity.
As of yesterday, motherfucking frog fractions too.
Yeah.
What?
What?
Oh my god, it's in it.
Yeah.
It is up there and it's being pushed as a legit thing.
You never, you never got back to me.
I told you like over a year ago, dude, you need to play frog fractions right the fuck
now.
And you never got back to me.
I never knew that you played it.
I fucking played it and I lost my shit.
Oh, frog fractions.
It's so cool.
If you don't know what the fuck frog fractions is, just type in frog fractions.
And we're not going to tell you anymore about it.
Just keep playing it until you understand why we have this level of excitement.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Um, so the, the, um, the Kickstarter is hilarious because he goes right back in and
he's-
Man, are you eating Pop Tarts?
Yes.
He goes right back in and like he plays up the level of insanity and it just, it's all
there.
It's exactly what you expect.
Motherfucking frog fractions.
Yeah.
Um, but, but he then has to basically break kayfabe though when he has to-
No.
When he has to break actual details down when he's describing things and he goes, okay,
look, look, who am I?
I'm this guy.
I made this thing and here's what I can tell you.
This is more than it seems to be and whatever comes out won't be called frog fractions
too.
Good.
Good.
Great.
Great.
It looks like in fact I'm not going to tell you what it'll be called to the point where
I'll just release it secretly into the internet.
Yes.
Yes.
And if you can guess what it's called at any time, he will send you a download code
for it.
He's not going to tell anyone about what it is until people, the reviews of the betas
and whatnot start coming in publicly.
Oh man.
It's secretly going to be out there.
But the hints are already dropping.
And all your emails that are all falsely guessing.
So it's, he's already fucking, he knows.
So if you need edutainment for you or your kids, frog fractions is the way to go.
I learned a lot about fractions of that frog.
Indeed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And go watch the video for it too.
Like they put together.
Oh man.
I'm going to go pledge for that shit right now.
I'm sure.
Fucking love.
What's it at right now?
I want to know.
Right.
I have a burning desire for this.
Burn your desire all over it, man.
It's burning everywhere.
Sploosh.
Sploosh indeed.
It's burning.
It's burning.
Bigger.
Right now it's at $14,000 of 60K.
Awesome.
It's going to make it.
And it's going to make it.
And it's been a day.
29 days to go.
It's been less than a day.
It's been hours.
How ballsy is it to fucking release it secretly though?
It's the ballsy.
It's the ballsy.
It's huge.
But that's why everything's alive.
But he thought about this because what frog fractions is can be so easily spoiled.
What does it mean to you?
Yeah.
This is how you recapture that.
Yeah, you're right.
I really want for someone right now at home to be making a game to fake the frog fractions
too.
Oh.
Not bad.
Not bad.
And everyone will be like, oh, we found frog fractions too.
But no, it's someone else's thing.
The punk fake.
The punk fake.
I like it.
Get on that.
It's actually candy box.
Oh yeah.
Candy box.
It's great.
I didn't care for candy box too.
No.
The magic was gone.
No.
The first one's the best by far.
Now we know.
Remember, like last time we briefly talked about like, oh, we had to save.
Like, they are planning to be on other systems and all that little shit they did last time.
Yeah, I saw that.
It was still kind of unclear.
Yeah.
But they're saying they're on track and right now they kind of said, hey, we're teaming
up with Madcats and the mojo.
To make fight sticks.
To make software that will be played along the mojo?
Yeah, I'd say it's another store.
It's kind of like if you have a store on your Android device.
Sure.
Like, you have a Blackberry store on your Android device.
About like software though.
No, they're jumping into their own Android console.
Oh, okay.
That makes sense.
Yeah, and they've got money.
It's a chunk more powerful than the Uia, but it's also double the price, which I think
is the big vice.
Yeah.
Like the Uia is actually actively selling, and that's probably because it's $100.
$100.
You know?
That's impulse price for, oh, by this weird fucking thing.
What you're seeing here is two weird little things in the corner teaming up.
It's a good team up though.
Maybe we can team up though.
Maybe we can team up though.
Once the Raspberry Pi going to jump into this smorgasbord or whatever.
And the Nvidia Shields.
Oh, fuck that piece of shit.
Is that come out?
If they all just catamari together, maybe they'll stand the chance.
What an ugly piece of garbage.
We saw that at E3.
It looked like such a piece of shit.
We saw that at Magfest too.
It was a counter-breaker.
It was a counter-breaker.
I keep seeing like small groups of people on the internet enjoying it, and I have like
a burning desire to love handhelds, and every time I see it, I'm like, I gotta get one,
but there's nothing to play on it.
Dude, there is a less play than any other machine, but you can play Conduit HD.
I could play that on any Android device.
No, I can't.
And the thing is, I don't want to play Conduit HD.
You do.
Like, there's Ouya games, like the Amazing Frog, where I'm like, I want to play that,
but there's nothing on the Shield where I'm like, I really want to play that.
Plus, I keep thinking it's the WWE tag team.
Yeah, exactly.
Dude, the other week, I almost bought a fucking Lynx, because I was like, I want to be playing
that twice.
What is wrong with you?
I thought Chip's Challenge was on the Lynx, and I'm like, shit, I like Chip's Challenge.
You got problems, kid.
I'm going to buy it next week.
You even use your pocket color?
Absolutely.
Okay, just checking.
You're sick.
It's the best.
Yes, it is.
It's really good.
Why don't you get a fucking Gamecom?
It's got Mortal Kombat trilogy.
Oh, Game.com.
Game.com.
Game.com.
Oh, I thought it was Game.com.
No, Game.com.
No, that's what it says.
When you boot up the system, it goes Game.com.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I'll get one eventually.
I think you're all nuts.
No, I love Handel.
You want to play Robo-Pon with me?
No.
I think the worst I ever got was that moment that I was seriously debating importing a
Wonder Swan color just to have a slightly better looking version of FF6.
Not a bad choice, Ethan.
No.
No.
No.
Then again, I did pre-order a third Vita, so who am I?
Yeah, who are you?
You're not even dual wielding anymore.
No.
You're just fucking...
You're living in excess.
I'm trying to create a dick throne that I can lay my dick on.
I'm working on the same dick throne at home, too.
But yeah.
My dick throne will be nicer than your dick throne.
It's coming up short so far.
How could you possibly make a dick throne that small?
Yeah.
Oh, but really stuff on how they're entering the system.
What do you think of something more creative?
I was just saying, like, oh, only if you lay them width-wise and not length-wise.
I was like, but that's still pretty long.
That's super huge.
That's why I just short-changed it to small.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Curve accurate, I don't know.
We got an upgrade, though, recently, so...
Hey, apparently we have, like, pseudo-concrete details on...
Pseudo-concrete?
Yeah, more concrete than before.
It's not hard yet, but it's still, like, it's mixable.
It's ropey.
Shut the fuck up!
Put your footprint in it.
Stop it!
That's what you said!
You brought that to Liam!
Anyway.
You can go draw a little heart and put M plus L forever in it.
Yeah.
On why Watch Dogs was actually delayed.
Oh, because they went way too high on their original anticipated specs.
They're like, oh, god, we got a tonus shit the fuck down.
Okay, that one car gift doesn't explain everything.
It does.
It's not the whole story.
It looks like total shit compared to its original demo.
That's a fair assessment.
Once again, that gift doesn't explain the whole story, but holy shit.
Normally, I'd be like, Pat, you're a crazy asshole.
No, you're not, because I agree with you.
I just think total shit is a big deal.
In comparison, because the original reveal looks so good.
So that one moment looks terrible now by comparison, but...
It's very cruising.
It's very steadily decreasing in visual quality over every single piece of footage.
Every single time Watch Dogs has been shown, it looks worse than the last time.
It's the opposite way that a game should go.
Oh, trust me.
I know.
I made a humorous image about that.
Yeah, I know.
You made a funny picture on NeoGath.
That was great.
But basically, the creative director did an interview where he explained that, essentially,
the game was not at par on all consoles.
It was shocking.
Right.
They had a version, they're not saying which, of course, that they felt was way more advanced
than the others, and they didn't want to deliver an experience that was messy for some place.
So I'm going to guess.
Are we ready to guess?
I don't think they've started on the Wii U version.
That's not true.
I have more details.
Oh, there's more?
There's more details.
Oh, shit.
Furthermore...
In addition...
My guesses are bad.
The problems they were having were things that the Wii U team currently only they knew
how to fix these things.
Weird.
Just because of the specific talents.
I know, but that's like what a weird thing.
So they paused development on the Wii U version and pulled those guys off to fix what needed
fixing on the others.
That's weird.
Do we know what the others are?
We don't know what they are, but ultimately it comes down to them thinking that...
Probably the PC, right?
The PC is a free in.
It runs like shit on the PCs.
Yeah, but you can just throw more power at it.
That's the joke.
They needed to polish it up and what he says is in the interview they're saying, so who
had to go deliver this news to the investors, to the stockholders?
One of these versions is all fucked up.
And it was Eve, right?
Eve Gimel had the balls to go and say...
He's probably a huge nose.
President of Ubisoft, by the way.
Yes, he had to go in and say, look, we don't want to ship this.
It's not good yet.
We want to deliver a better experience.
We're holding it back.
We don't want a 70 game.
We want a 90 game.
And investors generally won't understand this because they're like...
No, no ship it now.
But my quarter said I was going to get my dividends.
Ship the Wii U now, but there's no games.
No ship it though.
Now, now, now, now, now.
I really feel like in the case of Ubisoft the investors can at least be like...
Yeah, I'll take faith in this company that's been paying out really well for a couple of years.
Yeah, no problems.
Well, what was an interesting follow-up to that was that what he said about the actual head of the company,
the people that make these decisions and okay them because it wasn't just him,
was when he had to go have that meeting about, okay, look, we need to delay this and polish.
We want to deliver a better experience.
And you have to think it's their new big IP.
They're going to want to be careful.
I don't want to drop the ball in the first one.
This is a miracle that they fucking made Assassin's Creed into what it was with Assassin's Creed 1.
Yeah, so I was just going to say...
You see?
We saw this earlier.
Oh man.
The first one's great.
AC1 when it first came out, dude, that was awesome.
No, it looked awesome.
It looked awesome.
Liam, you were totally right.
There's totally a divide.
There is a divide.
AC2 is the good one.
Either way, we're not talking about Assassin's Creed, right?
Even to that board meeting, to talk to the heads of UB, they are not business background people.
They're creative background people.
So when they basically had to say, look, we want to make it shinier.
We want to make it better.
We've got these things.
They were all already on the same page.
They had the same bullet points in front of them.
And basically went, yeah, no.
Make sense.
Do it.
Make it better.
Because it wasn't like, but what about our quarter?
You know?
It was totally just like...
So they had to do all that?
Why does it still look like shit?
We'll see.
We'll see.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's sunrise yarn that comes out.
It's like, we had to make sure it was up to snuff.
Then why does it look like crap?
I really hope that lighting in that one car gift does not represent what all the lighting looks like.
Oh, the rest of that trailer doesn't look very good on it.
I think we should certainly wait to see a bit more, at least.
Yeah, totally.
But in your big trailer announcing your release date, that's not a good sign.
They fucked up a bit.
You're right.
I totally agree.
There's a big kerfuffle.
The same thing.
Dark Souls 2 is happening.
The same thing where it looks nothing like its original preview footage.
And they just put out a trailer yesterday.
It looks like goddamn shit compared to the rest of it.
That one is a super objective.
That glowing flashing bridge UI element is the ugliest thing.
That is so bad.
It's garish.
We pointed out something, actually, that I didn't think was a thing in Assassin's Creed,
because I never bothered to check.
But apparently that's a Ubisoft standard that you can turn off flashing objects.
They're fucking gone.
Since AC1, you turn off the whole hype.
Yeah, totally.
I was saying this to Liam when we were talking about the whole Watch Dogs thing.
And I think it's especially shocking and stark, because Watch Dogs was the first.
It was the first, actually.
Everyone, look at how fucking awesome Next Gen looks.
Look, check it out.
Everyone start masturbating.
Here's the tissues.
Go, go, go, go, go.
And then this happens.
It's way more like, what the fuck happened?
And it's true, because for me, I just bought Next Gen, so I'm like, all the games I want
are going to be here.
Yeah.
And I didn't even give a shit.
But you're right.
There's so many people who looked at that and said, that's what I'm buying it for.
That's it.
And then it's not quite...
It was the game that was holding the flag, saying, yo, it starts here, and then when
it actually comes out...
And then word on the streets is, yo, they delayed it because they're scared of GTA.
I know.
I know.
This is just like...
Eight months is long enough.
My point here is only going to be relevant to graphics, but it matters in terms of getting
a Next Gen system, and what's the Next Gen thing that you're going to get, right?
Remember when Watch Dogs was really supposed to come out on the same day as Assassin's
Creed 4, and everyone was going to get Watch Dogs, and no one was going to get fucking
AC4, because it's just another Assassin's Creed game.
And then it got pushed, and then AC4 ended up being awesome, and it looks awesome.
And I want to say it sold over six million units.
It probably did super well.
It did.
It did amazing.
It did not sell as well as AC3, but it sold okay.
Like, parts of Watch Dogs look worse than AC4.
What is going the fuck on?
That's what I'm saying.
I'd like to wait to see a broader picture of it before I draw Full Judgment.
Like maybe a full game play thing, and not just like worse.
You know what they need to do?
They need to put out one of those big nine-minute videos of Watch Dogs right now, which they
certainly will, and I hope they do it sooner or later.
May 27th, not a lot of time left.
The fucking Edward Kenway was going to be DLC.
It was going to be DLC for fucking three.
Unbelievable.
We'll see, man.
We'll see.
We're all buying it.
Expectations have been lowered.
You're like...
As they have...
But you are.
No, no, no.
Like, Pat is usually like, oh, this looks like shit, I'm not going to buy it.
And usually I'm like, eh, well, whatever, I'm going to buy it.
But like...
Well, usually this looks like shit.
I'm not going to buy it on the console.
I'll buy it on my PC.
Well, no, just like regardless, because we don't even know what that footage was taken
from.
Yeah.
You'd think that you would...
Oh, wait.
The Watch Dogs original footage was taken on a PC with three videos.
No, no, no.
I mean, the recent trailer, like usually you would put out the version that looks the best
to put in your trailer to be consumed by that TV.
Usually you put out one that's like running on a workstation graphics card.
That's why everyone knew Gaff is like, this is the 360 PS3 version, right?
It's got to be.
It has to be, right?
But no.
Why would it be?
I just want to put out there that also that when gameplay looks interesting, graphics
should never be a deal breaker.
You're totally right, but when the graphics take a huge shit from their original thing,
you go, uh...
I totally agree with you.
The only thing to even remotely shift my stance on that was that this very specific
game was the next-gen game.
Totally.
Two entire years before next-gen existed.
Yeah.
It was really early that they announced it.
Dude, you're totally right, and nothing's ever going to top the fucking BioShock Infinite
fantasy trailer of a game that doesn't exist.
Or Aliens Colonial Marines.
Right.
But like, come on.
Like the Dark Souls 2 and this, they're both like, what the fuck?
Why'd you show us a game that doesn't look anything like this game?
This is certainly a very specific example that we may never see ever again.
Oh, we're going to see tons of it.
I was going to say, we're going to see tons of it.
It's really worrying that these things start really happening, like at the tail end of
this gen that we just finished with Aliens Colonial Marines and BioShock.
And now it's persisting into the next-gen.
I would believe that it is totally an example of the transition from the last gen to this
one of we don't know what the specs are.
Let's ballpark them super hot.
The Mad Bull Shots.
The Mad Bull Shots.
Well, I wouldn't even go there.
I'd say the Killzone 3 trailer.
Killzone 2 trailer.
Killzone 2 trailer.
Yeah.
Fuck.
Going back to that.
Hey, let's not forget picking up a fucking Genesis game to see pictures of the arcade
version on the back.
Yeah.
Like, that was horseshit.
Yeah.
The original Bull Shots.
Like, it's always going to be Bullshot, but like when it's video, it's so much more damning
and incriminating.
Yeah.
This is so easy to point out.
But on the Genesis version of Aladdin, there were SNES shots, and you got a way better
game.
That was really weird, actually.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Decent work.
Decent work.
Not really.
Employee of the Never.
He'll bring it back within a...
Yeah, he'll bring it back in this podcast.
In that I brought hot pockets.
Oh, I love you, man.
Let's all shit our pants after eating hot pockets.
What a great idea.
Derrick's explosive.
You're lucky to butt.
One sip.
One spiritual successor is not enough, says KG Inafune.
No.
I would love to one day work on half as many projects as this guy is.
Oh, my God.
So it fucking turns out that while he's planning or was putting together the Kickstarter for
Mighty No. 9.
Coming out soon.
Dude goes and goes, yo, Inti creates.
Remember Mega Man Zero?
Remember that shit?
Remember the Algon?
Right?
Right?
Let's fucking get together.
Shit was rad.
And in secret, they've put together Gunvolt, which is like another spiritual Mega Man successor.
It looks a lot less like Mega Man and plays a lot less like it, but it's there.
It's there.
Look at the character.
It's not a successor, but very inspired by Zero.
It's very inspired by Zero.
Which may, in fact, have to do with half the team being from Mega Man Zero.
Well, I didn't even catch on to that.
The director of every game is director of Zero.
Zero, three.
Zero, three.
Zero, three.
The musician, like every significant person in this project has touched Mega Man Zero.
Okay, yeah.
No, and your main character just looks like a new badass, striker version of Brock.
You know, like it could be him without a helmet on.
I actually think he looks cooler than like fucking Beck.
He does look cooler than Beck.
I like his design.
Yeah, absolutely.
Like, I like Mega Man's design.
Like, you know.
No, he doesn't have the Beck's coils.
Neither do I.
My thing is, if anything, I think Beck's power is more interesting than like.
Oh, absolutely.
No, absolutely.
So, you know, trade-off.
Yeah, there.
But this game looks sick, and it's going to be on the 3DS eShop.
And it's going to be in America.
Yeah.
I love that that's just straight up.
We're not going to announce this until we can tell you that.
This is fucking K. G. Nefune, and he's a smart guy.
He's also like a Western fanboy.
He is a Western fanboy.
Because he knows.
Yeah.
And he knows who likes him and who his audience is.
So that trailer opens up with him going, yo, what's up?
I made another game.
Check it.
And right in the trailer, it says ESRB not, like, not yet rated, but it's there.
I like the SRB not yet rated, because it knows.
Exactly.
So, and now he knows.
Please actually get excited for surprise video game announcements like this.
I love surprise video game announcements.
Video game announcements should happen two weeks before the game comes out.
It's pretty close.
It's even.
Diddy Kong Racing didn't exist until two months before it came out.
Fucking rad.
Yeah, you know what?
We're just walking in and seeing it on the shelf.
Hey, you know what?
We wouldn't be bitching about watchdogs if we found out about watchdogs with this trailer
that just came out.
Because it would be like, holy shit, this is sick.
Yep.
Coming out of May?
What?
Holy crap, it's a fucking GTA thing.
Dude, how many games is this Nefune guy working on right now?
All of the games.
Kaio, King of Pirates.
Yaiba.
Yaiba.
Mighty No. 9.
Gunvolt.
Soul Sack Delta just shipped, so Soul Sack 2.
Yeah.
And probably something else.
Like he's working on five plus games.
Remember when they announced concept and concept did nothing for like two years?
Yeah, this is it.
You're like, what is he up to?
They're doing all the things.
And now they've been planning for this.
And now they've shipped like two fantastic games and they're going on ship.
No sign of stopping.
Yeah, exactly.
Awesome, awesome.
Can't wait to break the streak with Yaiba.
Let's wait and see.
I'm actually really into spending the come out so you can put all that to rest.
Oh yeah.
It's been burning a whole lot.
I would love to be looked like a stupid asshole for Yaiba, but I have no faith.
That Izuna drop looked good though.
Yeah, it did.
He's not wrong.
You're totally right.
And not wrong.
Yeah, I actually isolated that like point in the YouTube filler.
Yeah, you made sure to point that out.
And I just sent it over like, take a peek.
You know, see what's going on there.
Yeah, I see nothing.
It might actually end in an unbeatable battle with Ryu.
Yeah, that'd be great.
It might actually go that way.
I want multiple losing battles because it looks like there's at least one, clearly.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's not the final one because why would you show that?
Yeah.
So.
Um, other weird shit going on.
So the Writers Guild, I don't know if you guys saw anything about this.
The, um...
The Nerds at Writeship.
Yeah.
And not just General Writers Guild.
They have their awards and one of their award categories is Game Writers of the Year.
Oh, right.
And they put out their nominations.
And every year, like, no one really noticed until someone put this out on Destructoid.
The nominations every year are the weirdest fucking thing.
And like, um, the nominations, for example, this year were Black Flag, Arkham Origins,
God of War, Last of Us, and Lost Planet 3 for best writing.
Now I know for a fact that Lost Planet 3 does have very good writing.
Yeah, that's a weird one.
But it's good that they caught that one.
I don't know why God of War would be there.
Why would Arkham Origins be there?
Why would Assassin's Creed be there?
It sounds like they were given a list of popular games.
So, um, after a little bit of digging, it turns out that you're only eligible to be a nominee
if you submit your script at the same time as you submit your video game writers caucus.
That makes sense, unfortunately.
So, basically...
That's not like when the ESA has their awards and they always pick the wrong games.
They go, it's only for people in the ESA, guys.
Yeah, your eligibility is basically reduced massively to people that actually go and submit to the ESA.
I competed!
I remember that, like, for 2004, like, for the awards given for the games in 2004,
like, RE4 was in nothing but God of War was in everything.
I think everyone was crying fouls because Calcom didn't submit the game.
To anything?
Yeah.
And everyone was like, well, then these awards are useless.
I'm gonna be super butt-mad if next year in that Writers Guild thing,
Persona 5 and Dracon Guard 3 aren't there.
Guess what?
I'm gonna be super butt-mad.
Is the Japanese Atlas branch not gonna submit the fucking script?
And their writers don't belong to the Writers Guild.
I'm gonna give you a big sharpie so you can draw a big angry face on your ass.
I'm gonna be butt-mad already.
Oh, it's so mad.
I can already feel it coming on.
Oh, no.
Maybe that's just the hot pockets.
Oh, that's probably the hot pockets.
And have you guys seen the trailer for this game called Crawl?
I don't know.
Yes, I did.
Totally missed it.
Isn't it?
It looks interesting.
It looks interesting.
It's a Kickstarter game.
It's a Kickstarter game.
Again, it's doing retro-style visuals, a very old-school horror-style theme.
It's not an interesting trailer that's narrated by a Vincent Price type.
That's good.
Evil old man.
What's it doing with the baby?
No, no.
You're thinking of that other one.
No, you're a knight and you're going through this endless cavern of monsters and shit.
Trying to make your way out to reclaim your soul.
Sounds familiar.
Yeah.
And as you're playing it...
You notice a lot of people are ripping the fuck off of Dark Souls.
But anything is as you're playing it though, I believe it's eight players, either four
or eight.
But it's multiplayer.
Wow.
And as you're playing it, it's a single-player adventure.
And the other players are spirits that are possessing the enemies and they're all killing
you.
So it's crazy-
So it's Snake versus-
That's the present evil six shit.
Snake versus the soldiers.
But as a whole game.
And then when I kill you, you take your ghost travels to the next monster as I progress.
Yeah.
And you're taking another enemy.
That sounds really difficult.
When the player that takes control of the monster slays the Claire character, they become
the human.
So it's Juggernaut.
And you keep going until you make it to the end.
Sounds cool.
It sounds a lot like the counter-off, and remember in Perfect Dark how the player, like
you'd be one player versus the other, and there would be guards in the complex in the
level.
And then they would have like two hit points.
So Janet would kill every single one easily, but if they were able to kill her, now it
would be game over.
That sounds like a fucking nightmare to balance.
Because Mindjack, as we all know, balanced it like shit.
Well, you don't balance it.
On the other hand, the present evil six did it in a really fun way.
I don't think the monsters were powerful enough.
They weren't.
And I think that's kind of the point here, too.
The monsters probably have, like, clunky controls.
Some sort of hindrance.
God, I would love that mode in Dark Souls.
God, that'd be so good.
It's basically there.
But at the very least, just having another...
Shut up.
I'm going to fuck your bells up.
Just having PvP movements on every enemy already makes it way more difficult because patterns
don't exist.
Yeah.
And they're going to team up on you.
All seven players get up atop of the staircase and just clump together in a big mass of
punches.
Or form a semi-circle.
I'm just going to swing my arms around.
And if you walk into them.
So, yeah, take a watch of the trailer.
It's called Crawl.
And I think it sounds...
I think it looks and sounds interesting.
That's probably cool.
You know, and, hey, Indie Game on a budget, right?
They're all doing the old school, like, retro style look, but...
Retro style, quote unquote.
Quote unquote.
I like this new trend of weird multiplayer.
No, but I mean, like, I don't just mean like it's all so much.
I mean, like, when you look at, like, Super Metroid or any old game, like, the art quality
is so high.
Yeah.
No, okay, no, but no, no, this is actually shittier than that.
But that's why I'm saying retro style, quote unquote, because actually retro games look
way better.
Because, yeah, I guess, because this is...
In a lot of cases, yeah.
Yeah, no, this is going back to 8-bit and less around, like, style.
Does it do the Ghostbusters noise?
No, it doesn't.
Not funny.
Stop talking about the Ghostbusters noise.
I love that fucking stupid shit.
That game sucks.
Yeah.
But that noise...
Contagulation.
Ghostbusters.
Ghostbusters.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
Fucking...
Could you voice that?
Ghostbusters.
A little bit.
Good.
It's this fucking garbage 8-bit voice sample.
Fucking bullshit.
I love old digitized voices.
Oh, it sounds so ass.
It's so fucking bad.
They're amazing.
Oh, totally.
I super good at you.
Fucking B-17 Bomber, you ass.
B-17 Bomber.
Oh, it's so good.
You have more digitized voices.
You have more code action for the digitization.
Lethal and forceful.
Yeah, that's pretty good.
That's pretty good.
Okay, shoot me.
Yeah, but B-17 Bombers for the Atari.
Yeah.
They have a voice synthesis module.
It's amazing.
I love how he says it.
You have a lot to learn before you meet me.
Try your game, kid.
Don't ask me.
I don't know the world.
If you're a burgeoning developer, get digitized voice samples.
Yeah, make them really shitty.
Make them.
Make them.
Make them.
FMV videos with actors.
Make them so they can be played on something prior to a sound blaster.
Speaking of FMV, me and Liam took a quick look at the 360 demo for Loco Cycle.
Yeah.
And holy shit, those cutscenes were like, yeah, we want more games like this than we
played the game.
It opens like a 15 minute live action movie.
And it was interesting.
Awesome.
But then we played the game and it's like, oh, there's nothing going on here.
But we were like, oh.
Did you play Comic Jumper?
Yeah.
I played a little bit.
Did you go to Comic Jumper?
Same thing.
Those guys.
Whoa.
The toilet's going nuts.
Goals.
Goals.
Those guys, their games are getting worse.
The better their FMVs are getting.
Twisted pixel.
Yeah.
I was talking to Matt and I was like.
Comic Jumper was terrible.
And Loco Cycle is fucking real mad.
I was talking to Matt and Matt was like, they should drop him.
And I'm like, Microsoft should give him one last chance to make an expo and exclusive.
Yeah.
And then drop them.
Dude, you're totally right.
Yeah.
The mall was good.
Explosion Man was good.
Misplosion Man was like, all right.
Then Comic Jumper sucks.
And now Loco fucking whatever.
Gun Stringer.
Gun Stringer was great.
Oh, didn't touch that.
Well, no.
Of course you didn't touch that.
It depends if it works for you.
It's one of those ones that if it works, it's really good.
We have mentioned this.
We can actually play Kinect games here at least.
Oh, yeah.
To give them the best try possible.
Yeah.
You know what?
If they can't, if we play Kinect games and they fail in this actual idealized Microsoft
design space, then wow, fuck them double.
I'm going to try to give Rise of Nightmares one final.
I mean, this is basically the room that the guy that did the Metroid jump and shoot part
in that live trailer.
This is where it happened.
Yeah, that's true.
Well, you can play the Power Rangers game now.
I'm going to try the Power Rangers game.
It might be cool.
All right.
It's time to play.
Guess why Woolly is super pissed about this super hype news.
Okay.
Well, what's the news?
Let's head us with that first.
The news is...
Don't spoil it for us.
Okay.
Wait, what?
Why he's pissed?
Why he's pissed?
Yeah, of course.
Someone is remaking Snatcher with new and improved awesome graphics for the Dream Cat.
Only in Japanese.
I know.
I know why.
Why is Woolly pissed?
Because Woolly wants for them to only announce their game the day, the minute it goes up
so no cease and desist can happen.
Bing, Bing, fucking ding.
You're right.
You're right.
This is the most exciting thing ever.
I'm so angry that I know about it.
Did you see the fucking Type Zero translation team just put out a fucking estimated release
date of the translation is in August?
Why would you do that?
Yeah.
Guys.
Guys.
We're so excited for your project.
And we know.
We know when we love you.
Adulation, etc.
But don't get that, like, please get hype.
Everyone praise me boner too early out there.
You did Resident Evil.
The Resident Evil.
Did it ever come out?
They released what they had at the time because somebody was trying to charge people for
it.
But then they went right back off the grid and they are working on it silently.
Guys, you gotta hold it back because then the legal teams can find you and shut you down.
Resident Evil 1.5 guys basically don't exist.
Yes.
No one knows even what country or language they speak.
Hold back all your marketing material until the day.
Plus Konami is a company that actively tries to find people and make them stop doing things.
The only thing I will say is it seems like these guys at Snatcher want to actually make
it okay with Konami.
It looks great.
That's the dumbest part of the whole thing.
And it's such a shame because I agree with them.
If you could make that official, that'd be the best.
But we know that the actual dream projects for the fans can only happen off the grid.
Never, ever forget Chrono Resurrection.
Never, never stand on your fucking memory until the end of time.
I still go back and watch that video until the end of fucking time.
It holds up.
It looks super good.
Don't forget.
Don't do it guys.
And it sucks because we're going to release it on the Dreamcast.
Well that's perfect.
That makes so much sense while you release that now because people can easily make games
for the Dreamcast as we know.
And it's the next Sega system.
It's not the Sega CD or the Saturn.
It follows up.
It's appropriate.
And we can finally fucking play it without paying 250 bucks and buying it.
It's like stands as they rhyme.
Yeah.
Just like poetry.
That shit doesn't emulate well.
It's like when will they learn?
Because every individual person that gets this dream project is young and naive and has
the dream.
And it takes for them to get destroyed personally for them to learn.
The only people who've learned is the 1.5 guys.
And even then.
And they're probably in Russia at which point it doesn't matter anyway.
Also the guys who are totally off the grid right now are remaking everything you love.
Yeah.
They're great.
You know what happens?
All the unsung heroes are there.
You know who learns?
The people we don't know shit about.
You guys are fucking sick.
We are hype for you people.
We have no idea who you ever talk to us.
Tell us what you're doing.
Like just one day a zip file magically appears online and you're out.
You're done.
Don't.
And the saddest part is that people want, like, it's part of it.
It's like look how good it is.
But part of it is also you want to get credit for making it awesome.
Yeah.
You can't.
But you have to realize that the getting credit for this super illegal thing you made, despite
it being awesome, leaves you wide the fuck open.
So if you're out there remaking Pinno Bee Wings of Adventure, please save that shit until
you release it.
It's really tendinicator to your like, yeah, I want recognition for this thing I do.
If you want to make, if you want to remember like the worst part about Chrono Resurrection,
the fact that they finished that game, that game is done and exists somewhere, but it's
only for the people who made its personal use because Square, Square at the time, Square
Soft said, hey man, you released this shit.
We're going to know it's you.
Exactly.
Yeah.
So even if you try to do the stealthy little, I don't know how that got out too bad.
So when you finish your remake of Metal Gear Solid 1 Twin Snakes again, or Eternal Darkness.
No, Metal Gear 1.
Metal Gear 1, when you do that, go to your local library, get onto a fucking PC and upload
that shit to Mega and fucking post a link on NeoGa and then burn the library to the
grab.
Imagine if Bid for Power was announced and released on the same day, well, instead of
months ahead of time where they were able to stop it.
The one for me is like, Bid for Power is so cool.
I'm so glad it came out because we knew about it for a long time coming and they got C&D'd
at the last minute, but they barely got it out the door.
It's too late.
Street to Rage.
Remake.
Remake.
They got it out at the very last minute.
I was able to get it.
And now it's up forever.
You can never undo the internet.
It's the same reason why you should not take a picture of your dick and put it anywhere
in your life because you can never undo it.
Same thing with all.
Your dick is intellectual property.
It's your intellectual property.
You own that.
Yeah.
You do.
You own it.
Feel good about that.
Unless you sign it away.
Remember that.
Put a little hood on it.
Yeah.
Pull it back and it's Steve Austin's face.
But you can never take it back once the internet gets ahold of it.
Yeah.
Never, ever.
Nope.
Wait, where's this analogy going?
I'm waiting.
So, if you're going to wait until no one can stop you and then put your...
No, if you have pictures of someone else, put it up before they can stop you.
But don't do that because that's evil.
Oh, it all depends on whether or not we want it.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, this is all creepy.
You have no idea what you're doing.
If you're going to make a game and you're going to get cease and desist, don't do anything.
Don't put pictures of your dicks in your remakes of games because they'll be able to
identify you.
Yeah.
I think we're losing the point.
I really think so.
I think we're getting away from it.
I think the thread has come loose.
The point is, if you're going to release games in South Africa, you should probably be prepared
for lag.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Titanfall.
That's a good one.
That's real good.
Titanfall has been cancelled in South Africa because so late, so late, their network tests
have told them that.
I wasn't aware certain countries even got huge games like that.
More than you think?
There's absolutely a South African rating system like the ESRB or like Peggy.
Again, that's why I excuse my ignorance because this is the first I've ever heard about South
Africa getting a game versus not getting a game.
This brings up a point that I saw some Australian users on various message boards talking about
in regards to Titanfall, but more specifically in regards to the Xbox One.
One of the Xbox One's experience or pitch is the power of the cloud, obviously as we
know, but not the magic version.
It's the fact that Microsoft has this gigantic fucking server network all over the world,
but not in Africa, not in Australia.
These places don't have access to Microsoft's cloud-free, so that system in these places
doesn't actually get the biggest bullet point and stuff like Titanfall, just like Australia
is going to be running off servers for Asia for Titanfall.
It's guarded with a game like that, something you can import it.
It just won't work.
Yeah, just won't work, exactly.
South African gamers have been saying basically, guys, we've been playing with lag in every
game for years now.
We get it.
We're super used to it.
It's part of our lives.
Don't stop us from having your game at all, or put some servers up, you fucks.
Which they're not going to do.
Well, I guess you look at the numbers and you make a judgment call, right?
Yeah.
Well, they should never have announced it in a region that would be all fucked up.
Given that the whole thing is the power of the cloud, they really should.
The fucking thing is coming out today.
Okay?
It is not an appropriate time to cancel the fucking game.
And the way this was discovered was through people getting emails saying your pre-order
has been canceled for you.
That's great.
That's worse.
Yeah.
Fuck that.
Because they couldn't own tons ahead of time for that.
Yeah.
You do a fucking ping test and go, that's not going to work.
But you know, it's South Africa, so they don't prioritize that.
That's a tier two country, right?
No, that's tier one.
They got the South Africa tier one.
They have the console.
Oh.
Man, it's going to be real bad for the tier two and tier three.
Like Japan still doesn't have nothing.
There are places that don't, there are places that still have no Titanfall at all.
Yeah.
And like here is like Russia.
Here it's like we're pulling it back.
Yeah.
Man, all those penguins in Antarctica, they haven't even seen Titanfall yet.
They haven't even seen it.
Hey, on the bright side in South Africa, they can still play Towerfall.
They can still play Towerfall.
Which has no online, but it doesn't matter because you get all your South African friends
together and have a rollicking fun time.
Yeah.
A good game that started on the Ouya and has since burst off and made its way onto other
consoles.
That people have.
Yeah, absolutely.
Like a delicious fun cancer.
Just shooting off.
Yeah.
Like your grandmother's boils.
Yeah.
I wouldn't describe those as delicious and fun.
Yeah, like I wouldn't want that after for sure.
Love them.
Maybe your grandma's different.
Have you seen Towerfall?
Have you seen my grandmother's boils?
I have played Towerfall a bunch.
It's super fun.
We played it together.
We played it together.
That's true.
It's good.
It's really fun.
What is it?
I don't know what it is.
It's a local multiplayer game made by one man.
Uh-huh.
One man.
Just give me a basic game.
Smash Brothers.
It's a 2D action.
Weapons.
Competitive game.
Kind of like Samurai Gun meets Kinnakris.
That sounds really awesome.
It's all projectile based.
That sounds really good.
You move with one stick, you aim with the other stick and shoot arrows.
Because when you see Towerfall, it makes me think of Tower Defense.
Yeah, that's what I thought you were going to say.
No, not at all.
No, it's Arena.
Samurai Gun up.
Yeah.
It is.
It is.
Yeah.
I got to hop on that.
It's fun.
Hop on it.
I'm going to hop on it.
Hop.
You can hop on it tomorrow though.
I'm a bunny rabbit.
Or today rather.
Yeah.
You should just hop like a bunny rabbit.
I should.
Why the fuck haven't we played Nidhog yet?
I don't know.
We have stuff to do.
We keep their stuff coming up.
But Samurai Gun and Nidhog have to be done.
Yeah.
We have to.
We look like chumps.
Max is so far ahead of us with this game.
Oh man.
Yeah, but now it's almost too late.
We're reaching there.
Get the dick.
Get the dick.
Get the dick.
Get the dick.
How do you not love a game where the fucking catchphrase is get the dick?
And then you get it and you're like, oh yeah, I got the dick.
I got the dick before you could get my dick.
Yeah, we got to do Nidhog asap.
Other piece of news that's going around here catching fire a little bit.
We got to talk about it, but we don't need to spend too long on this.
Okay.
You guys might have heard about the artist that is currently complaining to Feminist
Frequency.
Okay, I have not heard about this.
So Cal Kitty is an artist who drew a fan art piece of Princess Daphne from Dragons
Later.
Okay.
And in Feminist Frequency the logo used her fan art and cropped her signature out and
put it on.
Wonderful.
Specifically the logo for the pitch of what's it called?
Not Feminist Frequency, but the project.
Tropes versus women.
Tropes versus women.
Exactly.
And there's a bunch of other official art of girl characters that are surrounding that
as well.
So basically she came out and just said, hey, I'm not cool with you guys using my art without
letting me know.
Consent.
Even asking.
And without even giving the credits or anything like that.
This kind of went around for a while, got no response for a little bit because she sent
it directly to Anita.
Yeah.
Eventually.
Yeah, and eventually a response sort of came back that was kind of like that they believe
they're within fair use to go ahead with this.
That might be the case.
And the fact that there's like a little discrepancy, a little argument.
In five seconds to put someone's name.
The fact that we use people's footage, we ask them.
Yeah, we ask them or the fan art or whatever.
Right.
And you know.
Most times we contact the people that make the fan stuff and have them do stuff more.
Hey man, you do good shit.
Well, what I was going to say is as a person who made like a show like Fighterpedia where
I grabbed tons of different sources of things and threw them together.
Yeah.
It's kind of just like, you know, if someone is uncool with that out of courtesy, you edit
it.
You do what you need to do because you know.
You try to.
But you don't say I think we're within our rights.
Yeah.
But this isn't so much the story even.
The more interesting part that I found about this whole thing was okay.
So they're not answering.
They think they're in their rights to use the logo.
They don't want to budge on it.
Right.
So it's kind of like, that's not a nice thing to do.
Why would you guys do that?
But the producer came out and tweeted and said, one of the biggest misunderstandings
about fair use is the mistaken belief that remix must be strictly non-commercial.
This is false.
He's totally right.
Okay.
But here's the interesting thing.
In previous interviews, Anita Sarkeesian has said that it's a non-profit organization.
So then the artist basically says, wait, so are you saying that you are?
What does this mean?
Yeah.
And that's where this gets a little bit dicey and interesting because now it's like, wait,
hold on.
It's no longer about how the fact that the rights of artists are worth less than dirt
on the internet.
They are.
That's totally the case and it sucks.
But now it's more about like, hey, what?
Yeah.
I thought we were paying for a service, not for a company or also the whole double standard
of we're going to fight for our rights and put down yours.
Yeah.
So that's all fights though.
No, you're right.
You're right.
My right to punch your face versus the right of you to be like, hey man.
No.
You're right.
You're totally right.
So no.
So Cal Kitty.
You're right to dodge it.
So Cal Kitty basically comes back and goes, hey, all right, so you guys say that you're
non-profit, right?
So how about you show me your 501C status to prove that you're an organization that is
not for profit?
That's pretty reasonable.
I want to see the receipts.
Literally show me the receipts because, hey, it's not hard to get that if you're actually
non-profit.
Yeah.
Silence.
No.
So the plot thickens, man.
The plot's getting super thick.
That's more, like, because it's one thing if it's like, oh, don't use my art.
Okay, no.
But now wait.
Hold on.
What?
You are for profit?
What?
That's the equivalent of saying for, like, in cases, maybe I want to dumb this down just
one abstraction.
It's like, hey man, if we're a charity, it's okay.
And then two minutes later, it's like, hey, we're running a business here.
Come on.
Come on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But let's back up just a bit because I kind of see where this kind of headed.
Daphne from Dragon's Lair is very sexy female characters, which she's basically wearing lingerie,
right?
Yeah.
She's a damsel in distress.
It's very sheer clothing.
She's a big damsel in distress.
Right.
So if you were to search for Daphne or Dragon's Lair in a Google, you're going to get only
screen caps of the game where there's backgrounds and animation and shit.
Nothing that's easy to crop.
So what are you going to do?
They get the fan art, they get the fan art, probably a very clean image with probably
nothing.
Very clean image.
It's fine.
Because it's an old game.
Nowadays, if you look for like, I don't know, Rosalina from Sumari, you're going to get
tons of art of her.
And it's a very good piece of art.
It looks official on those, you know?
So like, yeah.
Wow.
I wouldn't say it's Don Bluth.
No.
But what I mean is that like...
It's nice.
It's good.
It's quality.
And it's easy to crop.
For sure.
If you want to protect yourself from people saying fair use, make your shit super hard
to crop.
And put a giant watermark over it all.
Yeah, ruin it with a watermark.
And don't do that.
And I mean, you know, cow kiddies also like try to be super like, plain and like friendly
about the whole thing.
Of course.
Because she's in the right.
Yeah.
And a bigger man.
And a cheater.
Or a lady.
Or a lady.
This case makes a little more sense.
It's the same.
And you know, and the thing about it in general is that she's also kind of saying like, I
mean, it's, it's not like, it's not portraying the work that she did in a positive light.
It's in a negative one as well.
So you know, it's not super.
It's not what she wants.
It's not what she wants from her work.
But frankly, she's allowed to want whatever she wants from her because she made it.
So let's see where that goes.
Let's go.
It's garbage.
I have a feeling it's either going to go somewhere big or nowhere.
Yeah.
It can't be somewhere in the middle.
There's no in between version on this story.
Either everyone shuts the fuck up when we hear nothing for months or ever or it blows
the fuck up.
But it's like, damn it.
We don't have to be moral warriors.
Like if you're doing something that's hurting someone's feelings and you can fix it for
nothing, fix it.
Literally for nothing.
Yeah.
That is...
Man, I wish the world worked like that.
No, exactly.
I wish it did too.
That would be nice.
People should not have to say this.
And she, and she actually put it up on her FAQ saying it's an easy to fix thing.
So that's why I'm actually just putting this out there like that.
Can you just put me in a one line sentence in the credits next to the other people?
And if we can avoid going the legal route and things like that, then that'd be preferable.
But if you want to go, let's go.
And Jonathan Blow was actually talking to her and then he made a tweet basically saying,
like, whoa, wait, you're actually going to look into their books to try and find out if
they're actually for profit or not?
Good on you.
That's really expensive.
Oh.
Are you sure you want to go that route, you know?
And maybe she doesn't, but they've got to respond.
She's got money.
She's an artist.
I know.
In all seriousness, good luck to you because I hope you can get that fixed.
Miss artist.
I really do.
Just put it in the credits.
It's so easy.
It's hard.
To me, like generally from my example before, it just smacks me of just pure fucking laziness.
Yeah.
Oh, totally.
Ignorance.
That's the crux of this thing.
Yeah.
Oh, the start of how it happened.
Yeah.
But even if it is actually not for profit, it might have just been the producer, Miss
Speaking, right?
And just, you know, being too lazy to just fucking fix it.
Like I said, I've done it before making the video.
I need a picture of whatever I'm doing.
That being said, there is something to be said for the weird line of I can be asked to
comment on this about why I'm not going to do it, but it would just be easier for everyone
for me to just do it.
Yeah.
Well, you didn't save the PSD.
Now you're the unprofessional.
There was an episode of a fighter pedia where we were asked to credit something that we
didn't.
Yeah.
Like two seconds of gameplay.
And it was, yeah, it was two seconds of gameplay in the middle of a video, jumped on that shit
immediately, threw it in there, dude got his credit.
Totally.
100%.
Yeah.
You know, it's so easy to fix.
So easy.
Okay.
Other bits going on, something that's kind of exciting, at least if I'm not excited.
So fuck your news.
He's only excited for Dark Souls.
I'm a little, no.
Hey, let's talk about Dark Souls.
Hey, did you know the Dark Souls is coming out today?
I got my Estus ready for it.
Oh.
Anyway, will it?
I was waiting.
Yeah.
I'll give you your time.
That's fine.
No.
The Capcom Protor was announced today.
Oh, what is that?
Protor is something that FGC people have been fighting to get happening for a long time
now.
What's a long time?
Since 2009.
That's a long time.
What we have is basically a Capcom slowly getting their feet in the water of the FGC.
Taking them a fucking long time.
A little bit more, a little bit more.
To be fair, that cross-tech and heiress shit scared them off real good.
That was a really good effort, but why did it?
Well, Japan let them down.
Yeah.
If this had been Street Fighter 4, it would have been fucking the best.
Yeah.
It would have been the best thing ever.
Fair enough.
And you know what?
Hey, man, I like to think that Haunts and Combo Fiend just went, guys.
We need to do this.
We need to make it happen.
So what they're doing is they're doing what was effectively the EVO tournament season except
now it's official with Capcom.
Yeah.
All the majors of the coming year are going to be part of the Capcom Pro League where
you get seeding points that lead up to the Capcom Cup.
So it's like the road to EVO, but with Capcom Cup.
Yeah.
Officially.
And you do the road to EVO at the same time.
I can't wait to see the anti-collusion rules blow up in someone's fucking face.
As someone who...
Capcom Cup, like it's got a pretty big...
I want to see Pono come out with a big fucking huge horse and kick the shit out of Kris G.
I can say that, like, well, if he's still playing, if he decides to play anymore, but
I can say that as someone that was part of some of those discussions behind the scenes
about how the collusion rules should be handled and stuff like that, they're all on board
for it.
They got the fucking hammer ready to go and the cannon...
No hammer like the official hammer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it went from...
There's nothing that feels like the official hammer.
The cannon brothers being zealous to Capcom themselves being like, fuck you.
We're not going to let you shit on our game like this, you motherfuckers.
Our brand.
You're insulting our brand.
You're making stream fighters look bad.
You're making Marvel look bad.
Are you happy?
You're not going to be happy.
This is, of course, even just barring all the players who do extremely well, but not
the top two who, you know, collude at the top of the finals.
Yeah, no.
Because, I mean, we know a guy, you know him way better than I do, who's fucking up there.
Yeah, yeah.
And that's when he gets, like, eighth, which is amazing.
Yeah.
And the top two guys are just fucking yucking it up.
And not even paying attention.
They don't care.
Because it's on everyone.
You know.
Yeah.
We covered this last time and a lot, but so it's nice that the moves have finally been
made and we're in there.
They need to move on.
We're in there.
Step it up, Arc System Works and Microsoft and who else is making fighting games?
I never.
Never.
Never.
Fucking injustice, guys.
Namco.
Yeah.
Injustice, guys.
Yeah.
Okay.
Whatever.
No one is in collusion.
Right.
Injustice matches.
Right.
And Eximu.
Don't forget Eximu.
Arcana Heart.
Okay.
Shut up.
No, I won't shut up.
It's got better mechanics and injustice.
Yeah, it does.
And you know what?
It's still almost unplayable.
You touch it.
It's a fed game.
Like you can feel jail through your skin.
Like you're, you're, you're touching.
You're touching the stick and it feels really like a, you're touching the stick and it feels
like the bar of a jail cell.
Your ears vaguely hear the kink of life of handcuffs.
Wait, no, no, no.
As soon as you put your hand on the stick, you just hear whew.
You let go.
You hear a ghostly voice that just says you want emancipation.
Who remembers Buff Bagwell?
I do.
My name is Buff and I am the stuff.
What's he up to?
I believe he is up to being a male prostitute right now.
It's pronounced jiggaloo.
It's pronounced jiggaloo.
And the more and the better part of that announcement is that he's doing well.
He's not only a jiggaloo.
He's not dying.
He is a successful jiggaloo.
So, Buff Bagwell, for those that don't know, is just like a smarmy asshole in WCW.
He had a big, like, buff body.
And someone let me know that Buff Bagwell, he always rustled in full pants.
You can't even say the word wrestle anymore.
He rustled in full pants.
And the reason why is because he got calf implants.
So, he took a little weird shortcut.
And then, apparently, Lex was there.
At some point, he said, why don't you take off your pants?
He's like, no.
What an asshole.
I thought that was a really funny story.
Because in the picture, he's fucking nexco-ing.
He's old and shit.
It's like you'd go, hey, old wrestlers, where are they now?
Dead, fucking melting, falling apart.
Drunk and dead.
Getting revived for special events.
I think Scott Hollow's a hollow right now.
See, he's going to get into it.
He's going to get into it just for the jokes.
Fucking Razor Ramon, burning a human effigy.
Hey, yo.
Where's the son, yo?
Collecting humanity.
Oh, god.
All right.
Oh, I can see.
It's Chris Bando off and he's all just red.
You got your armor, you got your sword.
You open up a giant door.
There's just evil, like, Randy Orton boss comes in.
You're like, I don't even want to fight him.
He starts slamming the ground doing the apex predator.
He's like, yeah.
Anyway, what else is-
All right, yeah, stupid Dark Souls mod,
wherever they replaced Ornstein and Smoke
and they textur-mapped them to be Shack and Charles Barkley.
And their theme is the Space Jam theme instead.
Fantastic.
What else is going on?
After fucking how long, we finally get to see Sin City 2 trailer.
Yeah, that's been in the works forever.
They announced it immediately after the first one,
like, did well at the box office.
And then Robert Rodriguez kept having another project,
having the predators came along
and then another thing, another thing.
Pretty underwhelming trailer to me
because it wasn't really one that delved into the movie.
It was just like, look at these quick shots
and you didn't really get a sense.
Can you see Jessica and Albus Herpes in it?
No?
Almost.
I was excited by it because I recognized
the shots they were doing from the certain stories.
I like that, Joseph Gordon-Levitt.
JGL showed up, I didn't expect that.
That was my second bullet point.
I like Josh Brolin's in it.
And Josh Brolin is playing fucking Dwight.
He's playing Dwight before he got a new face.
That's perfect, that's so good.
So basically this trailer was just kind of like an, it exists,
for real trailer.
And like I said, if you recognize those panels,
you're like, yep, that's what that should look like.
Right, okay.
But also there's something that looked more synthetic
than the first movie, if that makes any sense.
There's something a little off about it.
It's a handful of shots.
I didn't have that reaction to the first movie.
I thought the first movie looked really consistent.
Does it seem like there's just a way more CG?
No, the entire, both movies are all CG.
I realized, but like, is there way more CG?
I think the spirit roamed you.
I never actually sat down and watched this movie.
Oh, good for you.
For real, you missed out.
God, I fucking felt like death coming out of that movie.
Did we see it at the same time?
I think we did.
You died of death.
We came out hollow.
No, well, that's going to get a lot of play.
When the first one came out,
most of the movie felt pretty together,
except for the last, last scene in the hospital,
because it wasn't actually shot in like a sort of
paddle black and white high contrasting.
It was just inside a hospital in black and white.
And also like a cell phone shows up,
which dates the movie, which I kind of was like,
ah, I've not seen it.
But in this, I kind of know what you mean.
There was a lot more grays than blacks and whites,
but I think they're going to do it right.
Since the one is like one of my favorite movies.
Yeah, fucking great.
And if you do it shot for shot,
the last time, how can you fuck it up?
Yeah.
You can always fuck it up.
You can always fuck it up.
It's true.
Sure, but so far there's precedent for facings.
Sure, but I'm just saying the phrase,
how could they fuck it up is like always preceded
by complete fuck ups.
Yeah.
Watch me do this cool thing.
And you know, just kind of related,
the 300 Seagull came out and pretty much
the exact same thing as the first one.
Super ripped dude, except even dumber.
Well, I looked at the metacritics
both and they're both almost exactly the same.
Like my sister saw it and I was like,
how was it compared to the first one?
And she was like, there's no difference.
Go, go watch the I09,
go read the I09 review of it,
which calls it Zach,
I'm going to say Zach Braff, whatever.
Zach Snyder, Zach Snyder's like piece de résistance.
It's his life's work.
And it describes it.
It's just a three hour long music video.
Okay, well, let's back up.
Zach Snyder did not direct this sequel to 300 at all.
Was he a producer?
He's a producer.
Okay.
He's secretly directed it.
He's secretly directed it from afar.
Let's all not forget how fucking shit sucker puns were.
Well, the thing is, okay,
and you never saw a man of steel so good job.
Because the thing is that dude,
even if he's not directing, right,
if it's doing the same thing
and the music is happening and everyone's
then is it, does it make a difference?
I know, but one thing I kind of still want to see is
before is that a woman is actually one of the main characters
and she's a warrior woman and she's cool.
And she's making all these lines of whatever.
Apparently she's the only one.
The only movie that has more male nudity than female nudity.
Yeah.
But like, again, go read the I09 thing.
I did.
She has some like dumb ass writing elements in her.
Perfect.
Okay.
Nobody who's smart back then.
Hey, who wants another Matrix trilogy?
Raise your hands.
You go fuck yourself.
Is it anime?
You remember when Morpheus died in the Matrix online
and that was canon?
Fuck the Matrix.
Can I put my hand to like the floor?
I'm touching the floor also.
I do not want this.
Is it another animatrix?
No, it's another movie trilogy.
My hand's on the floor as well.
Rumor has it and why wouldn't it?
Because Joel Silver, you know, he...
Can't stop him.
Can't stop him.
He is talking and the Wachowskis are apparently
already putting something together.
But they're looking to do another trilogy
that's gonna focus more on the original
Zion and the war from, you know,
the least interesting things about the Matrix.
Hey, what would be worse though, a new Matrix trilogy
or three more Cloud Atlases?
I like Cloud Atlas.
I love Cloud Atlas.
Would you want to watch two more?
Would you want two more forced sequels to that
or are you fine with another Matrix trilogy?
Yeah, sure, because nothing can make Matrix one bad.
No, but...
Yeah, because it's fucking great.
Yeah, but like, are they gonna cock it up?
Yes.
I'm not sure if you saw it, but the Wachowskis
have a new sci-fi movie coming out this summer
called Jupiter Rising.
Yeah.
It's Tatum Channing.
Channing Tatum.
Channing Tatum, whatever.
I always think of Carol Channing
whenever I hear that.
He's jumping around shooting stuff
and there's Mila Kunis, that's the movie.
Now, here's the thing though.
Very exciting.
But I want to put that there.
You think they're gonna bone?
Probably not.
I haven't lost faith in the Wachowskis themselves
because, again, Cloud Atlas is really good.
It was.
Then what was Matrix 2 and 3, like, the worst garbage ever?
I think the Matrix itself, the world is done.
Yeah.
I...
What else?
We got everything we needed in the first movie.
And more to the point where the ending of that one game
was like, we don't know what to do.
Yeah.
Here's a Lego man.
Like, what else, you know?
Like, you have a philosophy book, you've got anime,
you've got weed.
It's a miracle the anime was anything.
We did it.
A couple of those animatrixes were pretty good.
Yeah, exactly.
Remember when they said we can do more Terminator?
Who should we get to direct it?
I don't know, maybe Mick G.
That guy that does music videos.
That'll work out.
No, the guy that made Charlie's Angels movies.
That's, like, that's the end.
You mean music videos?
Yeah, you made music videos beforehand,
but like, the only reason, anyway.
Charlie's Angels 2 has a scene in which two kids
are playing multiplayer Final Fantasy VIII.
What?
You didn't play the version of Final Fantasy with multiplayer?
The international version.
It's total garbage.
They're both at PlayStation controllers and they're going,
oh, yeah, bro, oh, yeah.
And it cuts to, like, each, the, uh,
Drew Barrymore walks into the shot,
you see the TV, and it's just squall standing
in a random battle.
And it's like, what the fuck, asshole?
That's great.
That's better than in Rumble and the Bronx.
That little kid playing on the game gear
that has no game in it.
Yeah.
And noises are just happening.
Yeah.
Those are always the best ones.
That happens a lot on TV shows where it's like,
kid has a PSP or DS, and then there's
Gallagher sound effects.
Do you guys know what fucking mystery show it is?
Where they have to play Prince of Persia
to unlock the fucking killer secret?
It's the goddamn worst thing ever.
No, no.
Basically, they go,
a video game console is like a computer, right?
It is a computer.
Well, what if he hid the files on level nine?
And it's this fucking montage of them playing
Prince of Persia at the sands of time
with dramatic music.
Oh, the sands of time?
Yeah, it was an NCIS?
No.
And then they beat the level,
and it goes files unlocked.
And a bunch of computer files start showing up
on the fucking Xbox.
I remember that.
I thought you meant the original Prince of Persia.
That's fucking awesome.
I wish that stuff would happen even more.
It's the goddamn worst shit ever.
Do you remember in what the fuck TV show was that,
where there were two people typing on a keyboard
at the same time to hack something?
That's NCIS for sure.
That's NCIS.
That was hot garbage.
Could you go back and watch Hackers, man?
No, it's Unwatchable.
It's Unwatchable.
It's Unwatchable.
So it's safe.
Go watch The Wizard.
Yeah, but as far as like fake games and movie OS shit goes,
Hackers is the king,
Swordfish is second.
Unwatchable, dude.
No, uh, uh...
Swordfish is so fucking dumb about that.
No, the one...
What's the diehard after three?
Live for your diehard?
That's correct.
No, that's the one where the guy's like...
No, that's...
Yeah, you're right.
That has the one where the cyberterrorism
where the guy says hack all IPs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Um...
Michael Bay's Batman.
Hack all the Internet's Alfred.
Which ones, sir?
All of them.
Right.
Um...
Fuck the Matrix.
Yeah.
Never...
It always blows my little mind.
Like, there was not a single person on the set
that knew a goddamn thing about a controller.
Like, you...
We saw that GI...
No, no, no.
The new GI Joe movie, right?
And it's got a...
You're playing Call of Duty or something.
It's...
It's fucking The Rock and somebody else.
And, uh, what's his face?
They're playing...
Channing Tatum.
They're playing Call of Duty,
and you can clearly tell
that Rock and Channing Tatum
are totally playing Call of Duty.
It is so obvious.
Yeah.
Come on.
House of Cards as well.
I was going to say the only thing
that covered House of Cards.
That was the worst ever.
Oh, my God.
Fucking Kevin Spacey looking at a video.
He's like,
I need one of these for the car.
I mean, Kevin's one.
Or what was it?
Breaking Bad where, uh, uh,
Jesse Pinkman's playing Rage
with a fucking light gun?
Oh, God.
That better made Rage better.
Oh, man.
40-year-old Virgin?
They're playing Mortal Kombat, I think it was?
Yes.
They're playing Mortal Kombat Deception.
And they are totally playing that game.
That one, Grandma's Boy.
Grandma's Boy.
Grandma's Boy.
Grandma's Boy.
That game was real, by the way.
That was a real game that got canceled.
I know.
Yeah.
And that movie's so, like,
so stupid dumb meta
that I'm willing to be okay with it all.
But, like, it was...
It was a game made entirely for that one shot.
It really happened.
And it got...
Where I used to do QA, everyone's like,
Have you seen Grandma's Boy?
And I was like, Fuck you.
No, I haven't.
What is going on?
Just, like, last week.
Just, like, last week or two weeks ago,
Jeff Gersman told a story
about how there are too many people in the games business
who think Grandma's Boy is awesome.
And would come up to him and say,
Yo, did you see Grandma's Boy?
That movie's awesome.
So what the fuck?
And your job, too?
No, it was, like, a rite of passage.
Like, you only knew how to test
if you watched Grandma's Boy to laugh at it
and whatever.
Like, no, I don't watch her.
There are so many poor interpretations
of the game industry
that you have to watch that bullshit.
And you also have to watch that ad for QA Testers.
Yes!
Where they can, like, the girl come in.
We're just working on level two
and we need to polish up the graphics
on level nine.
Just training up the graphics on level nine.
That's good,
because we need some more game designs from you guys.
Man, I can't believe they're paying us to do this.
What the fuck?
We need some more game designs.
You've got to find the link for that.
Just dump it in.
Oh, it's the funniest shit.
But that's why you've got to watch Grandma's Boy.
Oh, shut up.
Because it's that on a much
huge level of stupidity.
There is a movie, like,
not going too much about this dumb subject,
but there's a movie that was released
not too long ago.
It was called, like,
Gamers, something or whatever.
Jared Butler?
No, no, not Gamers.
That's actually kind of, you know,
ironically stupid fun.
It is, yeah.
There's another movie that's about, like,
a gaming competition.
It's got Jason Muse in it,
in a bit part, right?
Jay from Jay and Silent Bob.
Oh, yeah, I saw that.
And it's about a gaming competition.
It's got Casper Van Dean,
and from whatever,
and apparently it's super offensive
and really bad.
Yeah, the trailer's offensive.
Yeah, and it was really lambasted.
Super low budget, right?
Yeah, and the guy that wrote it,
starred in it, directed it,
he was like,
fuck all of you.
Never mind.
This one is awesome.
I'll link it to you.
You saw this trailer for sure,
because it passed around us, yeah.
It was gross.
It was really bad.
It's like, to me,
like, always like the worst interpretation of anything.
So if you're going to put a video game in your movie,
please have The Rock,
or, you know, somebody else
who knows how to play games.
And how bad Stay Alive was.
To get through this day,
you must stay alive.
Fucking bunk was in that shit.
It was so camp,
in like a way that you could watch
and be entertained,
but like...
Well, it just...
If you know anything about games,
it loses so much.
It's when we're at work,
and we have the interns that come in,
and like some of the new kids,
and they show up,
and they're like,
oh, guys, I'm so good at games, guys.
Like, I have all my achievements at home.
Oh, my God.
I'm going to be such a good tester,
and it's like,
you have no fucking idea
what you're talking about.
When there's the guy who comes in
and says he's kick-ass at X.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And X is the game played in the office.
Yeah, yeah.
And then he sucks at X.
And it's just like,
nice, it's good to hear
that you're good at that.
Let me now make the point of saying,
the better you are at games,
probably the worse you are as a tester.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll explain why you guys are really good.
Wow, wow.
Fuck off.
It's letter time.
It was easy.
Fuck off.
It's letter time.
You sent out the layup for me.
It was pretty easy.
It was pretty easy.
You gave me a stool to dunk with.
It was.
You gave him two stools.
I need it.
You need it.
I need two stools.
Yeah.
I'm never going to make it without it.
And I'm short enough
that if they gave me
that fucking little trampoline
to do the dunk on,
it's not enough.
I'm going to buy that Godzilla toy.
If people want to send us instructions
about how they're going to help Pat
do dunks and layups with various height assists,
where would they send them?
Superbestfriendcastatgmail.com
One more time.
Superbestfriendcastatgmail.com
Actually, I would love to get a design
for a Rube Goldberg-style dunk machine
that you can just slot me into.
Damn.
I didn't press every one.
Yeah, like I hook in my arms and legs
and it just goes.
Someone make a mod for the incredible machine.
Oh, yeah.
You know at the end of Mousetrap,
Mousetrap comes down and the guy flips like that.
There you go.
Make a giant Nerf gun and put Pat in it.
It's Pat Trap.
Pat Trap.
No, that's a different thing.
What is that?
Like an elementary school?
Can't talk about that.
So Ken sends us a letter.
Cheers.
He wants to know,
hey, Zaibatsu, do you really,
do you guys watch or like
really touchy-feely anime
like Kimi ni Todoke?
No.
Hey, yeah.
Liam.
Give me another example of touchy-feely anime.
Is it touchy-feely?
It made me cry like a little bitch.
It still makes me cry like a little bitch.
Oh, I can see in public.
The saddest fucking thing ever.
Kimi ni Todoke is really cute, yeah.
It's like a little like,
it's literally a shoujomanga.
Adopted.
Not really.
Yeah, no.
It's generally not our thing, actually.
I think the happiest, cutest thing
I've ever watched that was anime
was Azumagadayo.
Right, Azumagadayo
and I've watched Kare Kano.
But like, honestly,
no, it's not.
And I hope that that sort of
explains to some of the people out there
that go, man, you guys have such a
taste in anime.
Why don't you watch this little
lolly show or something?
I'm like, because it's not.
No, this is a show, Joe.
This is different.
I need to stay out of jail to do my job.
It's like a boyfriend, girlfriend,
high school kind of story.
Sure.
But just some people don't like it.
They're not at lollies.
It's not our thing.
That's all.
Sure.
We watch what we like.
I watch a bit, but not really.
Not too much.
A little bit.
For me, it's not like,
I'm not sure how attached you feel it is,
but I get a little misty-eyed
at certain parts of Ponyo.
There's parts of Ponyo that are
so cute and adorable.
I'm like, oh my god,
this is such an inspiration.
Me, Zaki, almost doesn't count.
No, it doesn't really count.
But it's like, I don't care about
what happens in Princess Mononoke,
for example.
There's nothing I find that's
particularly touching in that.
But Ponyo is just like,
oh god, she's too cute.
I get emotional.
Emotional.
Emotional.
I get emotional enough about stuff
that's not emotional.
To start diving into emotional shit.
Yeah.
Kimi Nitoruke is good though.
There's that part in Die Hard
where he tells him to shoot the glass.
Fuck off.
Shoot the glass.
How is that emotional?
It's emotional.
You're like, oh,
it's going to cut his feet.
Thanks, Ken.
Sophie's Choice, Pat.
Sophie's Choice.
Fuck off.
That movie's tragic.
Sophie's Choice.
Taylor wants to know,
hey guys,
long time listener first,
I'm a question asker.
I wanted to know,
what is your favorite poster
in your poster collection?
Oh shit.
Oh shit.
Matt, you're cheating.
You're at your apartment.
You can't look around.
Yeah, this size.
I don't have it.
I don't have it.
I'm not sure if it would be yours,
but I really have an affinity
for that third strike poster
of everyone piled up on each other.
It's really good.
And seeing 2004 PS2.
I love that one for the longest time.
But if you want to talk about
like my entire general life,
when Matt Babby Jr.,
I had a poster that was
illustrated by Boris Vallejo,
which was a gigantic
golden Tyrannosaurus Rex
in a canyon
that was about to eat a flying spaceship.
Wow.
It was fucking inspiring.
I love that poster.
I've got a couple.
I've got a series of sick Mecca posters
from a mutual friend of ours
who draws them.
And specifically,
I've got one of his originals in pencil
behind my door.
You know who I'm talking about, of course.
It's fucking sick.
I love the giant Madoka poster I have,
because it's great.
And I got you to put that one up.
I know.
I have, you know, the Assassin's Creed
Brotherhood poster.
With all the signatures.
The little one that came in the,
like behind the manuals of the game.
Not the one with the signatures.
The one with the signatures.
Because I have that one too, yeah.
Yeah, behind the manual,
it came with a little like gold,
you know, have little fake gold signatures in it.
I have a big, big wall poster of that.
Okay, I have one of the three originals
with the signatures on it.
It's the big one in my apartment as you walk in.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's signed by the team.
Yeah, okay, that's the same thing, yeah.
Yeah, it's the same poster,
just it's one of the originals.
Okay.
Yeah, it's really nice.
Cool.
You have many, Willie.
My favorite.
You're the poster fiend.
My favorite too.
Currently, it might change,
but right now I'm obsessed with
my Empire Strikes Back Mondo poster.
Oh yeah, it's really nice.
That thing is so fucking sick.
It's the head of Boba Fett,
but the line in the middle is Cloud City.
Yeah, it's really good.
And the Mirror's Edge poster right next to it.
I don't really start from the game
that never came out.
Fucking beautiful.
If Pat's not ready, I got another one.
Oh, I'm not ready
because I don't have a single poster.
Okay, I totally forgot
because they're not up
because I need to buy beautiful frames for them,
but I have like two
like $100 Pacific Rim frames by Mondo,
and they're fucking amazing.
Yeah, they're the...
Like in the mailbag,
they're the orange things behind my head.
They're the most...
You put them side by side
and they're gorgeous.
They just released like a look at
there is a South by Southwest Godzilla,
for the new Godzilla.
I know Mondo poster for that,
but I guess I'm not looking at my phone right now.
Yeah, yeah.
See if I can get that.
You will still manage.
And there's one for True Detective Pat
that just came out.
Yeah, I saw.
I don't have a single poster up in my house.
The only two things that will qualify
are the fantastic JoJo prints that...
What about you, Steve?
What about you, Mr. Steve?
Steve is up, but he's creepy.
I wouldn't call him my favorite.
I'd consider him.
He needs to be there.
But by default,
it would be mandatory.
It's the JoJo prints
that can this painting of the Red Sea.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
But those aren't posters.
I don't have any posters.
Yeah.
It turns out...
It's not a poster.
Isn't it a framed poster?
It's a framed picture.
Photo, I guess?
Photo?
Yeah, a framed photo.
But no, that...
It could be a poster advertises...
That JoJo artist's soul call.
No, because you can have just an art poster,
like that Tyrannosaurus one.
But that would be a painting.
What about that Tyrannosaurus poster you said you had?
But that would be a painting.
I kind of like...
But it was a poster.
It was a poster.
JoJo artist's guy.
His soul call.
His Eleanor.
I'm fucking loving that thing so much.
It's so bad.
It's really nice, yeah.
Yeah.
No, I just...
I recalled it, because, you know,
I was looking at the other stuff.
That's it on your poster.
Ricky doesn't send a question.
Ricky doesn't send a question.
And yet...
And yet I found his story pretty cool.
All right, let's hear this story.
This is really short.
So the guy attacked him with his intestines, right?
My brother and I were nine and six, respectively,
when MGS first came out.
And for some reason, my parents were like,
Rated M?
Sure, why not?
So we played the...
Because your parents were fucking cool!
So we played the shit out of the game,
even though it was super hard.
We reached the part where Snake is essentially
getting his balls tortured, as you all know.
That's totally the thing.
In order to get past that part,
we had to mash really fast,
but our teeny, babby fingers were incapable of such strength.
That was a problem back when we're at that age.
Then our dad would come down and do it for us.
Yeah!
He mashed and he beat the segment,
and then proceeded to say,
That looks like a pretty cool game, guys.
And left.
MGS, kid-tested, father-approved.
Oh, yeah.
That's good.
That's sweet.
That's nice.
It doesn't work that way with Killer Seven.
Those mashing segments were brutal.
I had to discover new mashing techniques to get to that segment.
I thought a question would spur from that saying,
Do you have any moments where a family member or a friend
beat a bit for you?
What am I, some kind of fucking wimp pansy?
And did my own shit?
Well, I just mean like...
My hands nearly bled from playing the thredo.
God damn it.
Would you stop saying the thredo?
Hey, the Sonic doesn't call it the fucking thredo.
I went out to the store, I played way in the warrior,
and the middle button has a hole in it,
and I got blisters from that shit.
Anyway, and then if someone had some share of their brother
or anything that would beat a bit for people,
because lots of people have stories like that.
The only thing I have is that my dad,
when we had NHL PA 93,
would eventually sometimes come and play with my brother and I
and kick our asses.
Be really, really good.
And then over time, as we kept playing NHL 93,
it got to the point where we were getting like 20 goals on them,
and it was just like a total massacre.
And that was the moment that my dad just said,
Fuck it!
I am out!
My dad and I used to play Sonic the Hedgehog 2
in Streets of Rage all the time.
Shocking.
That was super fun.
But there was never any particular bit where it was like any time.
When we first got our NES,
when we were in Grenada,
I remember there was a time where we got Zelda 2
and Dragon Warrior.
Those were the only two games we had.
Those are good.
We didn't know anything else.
We had no idea what was coming out,
what other games were,
and the only way we would find out was our friend Andre would come over
and show us the next new game
and blow our fucking minds.
Like through a magazine or something?
He was old enough to buy games on his own.
That's a good way to learn about shit.
Yeah, and he would come over,
just pop it in,
and fucking blow us away with how good he was at everything.
And then leave, and we'd be like,
Wah-wah-ha!
Coming back.
Yeah, I had an NES or whatever system
and a few games,
but there was this guy named Guillaume
who had the superscope.
He had everything and was good at every game.
Everyone knew that kid.
Was he the kid?
Yeah, but he was a nice kid.
I knew kids that were huge assholes.
Oh, yeah.
He was like, yeah, you can't play.
Hey, this is mine, okay?
But this guy would be good at every game,
and he'd show me how to play like
Battle Clash on the superscope.
I'm like, this is awesome!
He's like, yeah, but he eats six batteries though.
It sucks.
There's always a problem.
Your perspective is always different.
Grass is always greater
when you don't have to fucking power the superscope.
Yeah.
Riley wants to know,
have you guys ever ignored something just because it's popular?
I totally didn't pay attention to Attack on Titan
because I knew everyone was going on about it
and I wanted to remain a cynical asshole.
I will answer for you, Wally.
Yes, you do that shit all the time.
When did I do that?
I think it was World of Warcraft,
the one that you got visibly upset over
up on its mention.
Do you remember that?
No.
You don't remember that part of your life?
I remember.
If someone said the words World of Warcraft,
you'd get visibly upset.
Was that when I was living with the fucking World of Warcraft heads?
That's right.
That's right.
Okay, but that has nothing to me.
I never got into it though in the end.
Exactly.
Why'd you ignore such a good game?
Just because it was popular.
No.
It wasn't my thing.
I don't play MMOs.
This is about something that you got into afterwards
despite ignoring it because it was popular.
I suppose I just, you know,
2001 I would just never stop hearing about Halo
and how it was the greatest thing ever
and even my friend that had an Xbox,
he didn't really care for Halo that much.
It was just something that I just never really picked up on,
not that I just liked it or whatever,
but I never get exposed to it.
When online became more of a thing
and searching for research on games,
I'm like, eh, seems fine.
I hate for it.
Actually, this guy's example is probably the best one
because I actively ignored about eight weeks
of people telling me to watch Attack on Titan
because I was like, that sounds like the dumbest thing.
It does sound really dumb if you're just...
I did not know what it was.
All I knew was that it was blowing up
and that its title was Attack on Titan.
I was like, ah, fucking dumb anime shit, whatever.
And then I went over to, let's say, DK's house
and they put it on.
I went, oh god, this is actually really fucking sick.
The only thing that comes to mind for me, I guess,
but I never got into it afterwards either
was like, certain TV shows.
Lost in Heroes.
I don't remember that.
Lost in Heroes, I don't even want to start with that.
Lost was the ultimate proof of my ambivalence
and then waiting until something is done
because then people got to the end of Lost
and all I could see were people going,
it was fucking bullshit!
So, not quite answering the question there Riley, sorry.
What about Liam?
No, no, no.
I'm just saying, for my answer,
because I never turned around on it
and liked it in the end.
I just never bothered with those.
Yeah.
The only one post being a stupid kid
because when you're a stupid kid that always happens.
You mean like three years from now?
Yeah, exactly.
No, the only one...
From now!
From now.
Took a minute.
The only one was Madoka Magica, actually.
Really?
Yeah.
Okay, there's a long story for that one actually
and it's time to go down.
Can we shorten it?
I'm going through the short break.
Can we short pants a little?
So I saw the first episode with a friend
and we were both just like,
it's alright, whatever.
That show doesn't heat up until the third episode
where shit hits the band super hard.
Not everything can be burned out again.
Exactly.
And I was super up on Steins' Gate.
Man, people are rolling their eyes so hard at that,
but it hurts a little.
I still think Steins' Gate is way better.
I love Steins' Gate so much.
But eventually, when Madoka was finished,
I was just like, you know,
whatever, I'm gonna watch it.
Fucking watch it.
So I watched the whole thing and I'm like,
okay, there was plot holes,
it wasn't that great, whatever, it's overrated.
And then the movies came out,
I went to see the first movie
and I was like, I didn't really like it.
I went to see the second movie
and I was like, I don't know what I expected,
I still didn't really like it that much.
If you're seeing the second movie,
you're still not liking it.
I went to see, the first and second movies
were retellings of the anime.
Okay.
I went to see the third movie
and it wasn't till the twist at the end
that I saw the immense balls that these guys have
and determined that Madoka Magica was fucking awesome
because of what they did.
Just a total opinion switch on a dime.
They're the one thing they did at the end of the movie
that so many people involved.
What was it?
I can't tell you.
Oh.
But it fucking...
Tell me later.
Changes the whole thing.
They retroactively made everything better.
Take that exact story,
replace Madoka with Haruhi Suzumea
and put it in my instance,
except at the end,
that revelation of awesomeness
became an even further explosion of hatred.
Yeah, you really hate that.
Yeah.
You're talking about the anti-ruiner.
Yeah.
Whereas Woolie's example is much more common.
Yeah.
Which is the ruiner.
I fucking...
I disliked it and then when the thing happened
that changes everything,
I fucking...
Yeah.
Oh my God, I hate that shit.
I'm sorry.
I fucking hate it.
I love that show.
When I was watching it...
It's amazing.
When I was watching it,
as the movies were coming,
I was like,
I want to like it.
Fuck them.
I want to like it.
I'm going to make myself like it.
I finally, multiple times,
fucking nailed it and did it.
And now, like, I'm going back
and, like, a lot of the music,
a lot of the stuff's fantastic,
and I totally didn't catch that
on the way through.
Really?
Actually, the music was the one thing
that was great from the beginning.
But here's something.
Despite the twists and whatnot,
like, were the characters likeable to you?
Before?
They were.
Barring one of them, totally.
Okay, so you just didn't, like,
what was actually occurring.
Because there was plot holes
and it was just kind of...
Okay.
It was a bit flip floppy.
And then, like,
to the end of this third,
there was no plot holes at all.
The movie did have one plot hole,
totally, that annoys me.
But the big flip flop
of one of the characters,
fucking awesome.
Oh, I love one of the characters.
Then you had a bit more leeway there.
Because I'm thinking about it,
and, like, for me,
I just couldn't stand the characters at all.
So no matter what was going to happen,
I'm like,
In hierarchy,
they're so loving or hated.
It's ridiculous.
I hate them.
I believe that.
I do.
I believe that.
Ordinately, that you hate them.
It's true.
I don't agree with your right,
but I will fight to the death
for your right.
I mean, you don't agree with my opinion.
Fight for the right to protect me.
He said that famous guy.
You gotta get this right,
or else people are going to laugh at you
when you're trying to be a cool guy.
That's all right.
That's all right.
I'm going to laugh at you.
We're going to end it off with Richard.
Hey, Dick, what's up?
Hey, Dickard.
Yeah.
That's good.
I like that.
I'm sorry, Richard.
They don't call him Dickard.
I tried to stop.
Hey, Budman.
Hey, Budman.
Hey, Budman.
Hey, Budman.
Hey, Budman.
How are you doing?
I'm fine, Ben.
I'm fine.
Alright.
I'm fine.
I'm fine.
Alright.
Richard says,
actually says,
this is a topic on NeoGaff.
What are,
what's a good series
that
switched genres
completely
that still worked?
What?
What's a franchise,
or a resume
that had a genre
and then flipped the script
and then you still like it.
Resident Evil flipped it
hard
and was
awesome for one game.
For example,
I'd say Donkey Kong.
Yeah, totally.
Donkey Kong is not
the same thing
at all anymore.
Yeah, okay.
Because Revelations exists.
He's sure.
He's right.
And Six's gameplay is good.
It's just a shame
for the rest of its shit.
Also,
there's the level design
and the enemies
and all that shit,
but the actual controls
and gameplay are fine.
I know what you mean.
I'll also say,
you know,
shout outs to,
even though I don't play it,
I have to respect
World of Warcraft.
Like,
they changed genres
from Warcraft to World of
Warcraft.
And they were a
massive success.
I don't know
why I'm at a ridiculous
loss for this.
Mega Man,
which has covered
so many genres
that have always been
good.
Legends, battle network.
Are you going to say
battle network?
No, all of them.
Legends, battle network,
like soccer,
fighter,
the fighters,
power fighters,
power battles.
Mega Man's always been
good.
This is tough.
Because there's not that
many series of actually
hard switched on genres.
Like 180,
super hard.
Yeah.
Or had enough entries
to make a real
virtual classic.
Or like once they
became 3D,
they just went
another way entirely.
Yeah, exactly.
Like,
I'm thinking of
what should I call it,
Monkey Island had
an awful experience
with that,
where they went from
being awesome adventure
games into,
they tried to make it
a 3D walk around
and have more of a...
No thanks, man.
Yeah.
Don't, you know,
Earthrealm Gym,
same thing.
It probably doesn't count
every Warhammer 40K game.
Yeah.
Yeah, he's got a point.
Being super different.
Yeah.
And a bunch of them are
really good,
especially the RTS.
Yeah.
Um...
Well,
I was going to say
maybe Castlevania,
but that's not a hard switch.
No, that's just
a formula change.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's a formula change,
if anything.
Cool.
Sure.
God, that's such a good
question.
It is.
I wish I had more.
Exactly.
There is more.
Sure.
Um...
Every character
going from their game
into Smash Bros.
Uh...
So the guy sent a link
to the actual thread.
I can see that some people
posted some things.
Um, Castlevania,
Lords of Shadow,
I guess.
No, it's totally
a natural evolution.
Natural evolution,
you find?
No, I didn't know
it was an action game.
Like,
Castlevania 1 is an action game.
Even though I don't like
Lords of Shadow,
I agree that it's like
natural progression.
If Star Fox Adventures
ever began,
it was the honest one on it.
Yeah, but it could then
spawn to a...
Sure, but I mean,
Persona 4?
Dancing All Night
and Arena,
both of which are going to be
Persona 4.
Persona 4, the fighting game.
But like,
like the rhythm game.
But I mean,
like, yeah,
Switchpoint,
this is the new series,
right?
Final Fantasy is
slowly changing.
Yeah, but that's not
for the better.
Well, that's not
a part of the question.
Yeah, but that'll be,
that'll be a switch
from the games we have now.
Yeah.
I don't know.
Yeah, you know,
it's just tricky.
I mean,
have there been any
successful fighting games
to non-fighting game transitions?
I think.
Ever.
Soul Calibur broken destiny?
No, okay,
we're not legends with it.
Everyone needs to shut up.
No.
This podcast is ruined
at the mention
of Soul Calibur broken destiny.
We got nothing.
You've ruined the podcast.
You've got nothing.
Wait, what's wrong with broken
destiny?
You broke it.
No, I meant legends.
Yeah, legends,
fucking thing.
Yeah.
Why did I think that?
You guys always did this.
That's the one with Lloyd in it.
I got a lot of bad name
brain.
That's the best Soul Calibur
game with Lloyd in it.
That's the best Soul Calibur
game with Lloyd in it.
Genre from terrible to great.
Does that count?
Castlevania got really shitty
with judgment.
Duke Nukem.
Oh.
Yes.
Duke Nukem 3D.
Very good.
Perfect.
Very good.
Very good one.
Damn.
That's rad.
You just read that, though.
You didn't have that.
No, no, that was the
that was a threat.
I don't know if they had any good
ones in there.
I'm like, yeah, that's a pretty
good one.
I guess Metal Gear Solid soon.
Yeah.
But no.
Metal Gear to begin with was
different.
Because that's natural
progression.
But when Rising 2 hits, then we
got another series.
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe, maybe.
We'll still consider that a
spin-off series.
I guess.
Unless Phantom Pain is going to
have like Pops and
Peach Walker style
collecting your soul.
It does have that.
It has building up your
outer heaven army.
You can totally snatch guys
and burn them.
But you have to take them to the
extraction point rather than just
no.
Just use the dumb balloon.
You don't have Fulton in this
one.
Bullshit.
That sucks.
Because it's too fucking
innocuous.
Because it's too dumb.
Oh, shit.
Because I love that comic that
Mary and Dave were.
I love it.
He's like, it's happening.
The boss is taking this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right, we're going to try
this differently.
A segment on the podcast that's
now the Zaibatsu Watch.
What are you guys
individually excited for that is
upcoming?
Shocker.
I'm excited for Dark Souls.
Guess what?
How excited for Dark Souls?
It's real bad.
I couldn't sleep last night.
Shocker.
I'm excited for Metal Gear.
Not too long after that.
Yeah.
Oh, wow.
Way to undercut the segment,
you fuck.
Anti-hype.
I'm trying to think, but I'm
like, that's the biggest thing.
I feel like such a show because
it's a huge big release.
It's the biggest bloke.
You could have taken a fall.
I'm not excited.
I'm not.
I'm not.
I'm prepared for Towerfall.
It was made by one fucking guy.
Yeah.
He's Matt Thorson.
How's the Freight Night in
Towerfall?
I bet him a fall.
1080, 60 FPS.
Great.
Better than Titanfall, just like
it's metacritic.
Have you noticed all the
Towerfall looks great though.
Like we've gone through
like all these debates about 720p,
60 versus 1080p, 30.
There's no debate.
Have now, but now there's in-between
numbers showing up.
Yeah.
992.
And then 792s and I'm like,
what is going on?
That is great.
720.
They've always been there.
We just never care about that.
No way to see.
The back call of duty runs like fucking
in 612p on the 360.
Some weird anti-resolution.
Because if you had a PC monitor,
there's tons of in-betweens and
you just, whatever.
But, well no, the in-betweens are
all natural.
They're all the 16 by 9 dimensions.
On consoles, there's all sorts of
weird up-buffering nonsense.
Like people just found out
that Killzone's multiplayer
is like a thousand times
1080 interlaced.
A super fake 1080p that looks amazing.
Like it's totally faked.
But it looks great.
But it looks great.
And it's like, yeah.
It's going to get weird.
But if you're just doing a regular
ass resolution, it's still going to,
around the 700s, still going to look
like dog shit compared to 900
and above.
I'm just like, as we go further
into this debate, like the numbers
are just getting more weird.
You know what? Number isn't going to get weird.
That's the most important number.
And it's frames per second.
There's no fudging that shit.
But it's only getting this way.
Because Sony's pushing it super hard.
And Microsoft was trying to push it
super hard.
Yeah, you got Sony reps all the time.
And what was it Shahid said?
It's like 1080p,
60 is going to be a word you hear a lot
associated with PlayStation.
You're like, that's ballsy.
What did you fuck up?
Your own games aren't going to run
1080p, 60.
They all run 1080p, 30.
All the indie games are magic.
Yeah, those indie games.
I was going to say, you know,
fuck your Dark Souls,
fuck your Timefall,
fuck your Metal Gear.
It's all about Cabela's pro hunts.
Coming out next week.
This is next week.
The reason why I bring this up,
because I showed Liam the box art
for it.
And it's one of the worst box arts ever.
It's so bad.
If I can think of it in time,
I want you to link it in the show.
I'm going to call you out
because you've gone from being
like funny, ironic Cabela fan
now to actual Cabela fan.
We're getting that.
You're super intense.
Just to clear the air,
most of the Cabela games is garbage,
but it's those dangerous hunts ones
where it's like kind of survival
where there's some fun in there.
But you're laughing at it,
but you're totally having a ball.
Yeah, we are.
Have you seen Cabela?
One of the last third party games
for the Wii U income.
One of the last third ones.
Ever.
We got to get that one.
It's the only Cabela it's going to do.
It'll save the Wii U?
Any minute now.
You can tear your venison apart
on the touch screen.
Oh God, that reminds me,
especially if you're saving the Wii U.
P4R.
P4R Gaming.
Based.
So based.
Go on.
With the article.
GameSpot.
Put it on an article.
GameSpot.
That GameSpot article was so difficult
to understand.
You know the Wii U we're talking about.
It was Nintendo's plan to secretly
kill the Wii U.
They're going to secretly kill the Wii U
by introducing a quality of life
platform that will be a different console
for health.
Like what the fuck?
P4R Gaming puts out an article.
GameSpot's plan to secretly kill their credibility.
Bam.
Bam.
Right for the jugular.
With a picture of a thinner Jeff Gerstin.
You just can't get the VIX Vapor rub
and rub that shit in.
Just drink it.
You see that tech crunch article
about console developers
Caught in a pincer.
Caught in a pincer.
Where they talk about how that you know
well everyone's moving to PC
and how the new consoles aren't selling well
and like every single statement
that is a factual claim in the article
is completely false.
In every single one.
They're saying like that.
The consoles aren't selling as well.
It says it hasn't been selling as good
as the PS2.
And they're totally selling as good
as the PS2.
Who was it?
It was like a USA Today
or something that said
can Titanfall save the Xbox?
No.
No.
You're thinking of Bloomberg?
Bloomberg.
And it was Microsoft Hopes?
Titanfall's robots can save the Xbox.
Really?
Are we at that level?
Fairly good sales?
If you're not, no problem.
It's six million versus four million
for fuck's sake.
It's nothing.
Can we just get like citation needed stickers
and just go through that article?
Oh yeah.
Ridiculous.
Randy Orton the best wrestler in the world.
Citation needed.
Selling better than Titanfall.
Citation needed.
Pretty good.
What is going on on the channel?
Shit.
Well, with the 2013 video done,
I guess we're just straight up,
a Nuzlocke would have been yesterday.
More Yakuza, obviously.
There will be more Yakuza incoming.
Matt and I are going to catch up
on some, on a piece of DLC.
That we should have done weeks ago.
I wonder what it could be.
And we're super late on.
Yeah.
There will be Dark Souls 2 content
coming this week.
Very soon.
That will not be a Let's Play.
We are not doing a Let's Play of Dark Souls 2.
I'd like to say we're getting a little bit
more creative in there.
We're out.
Also, I don't want to do Let's Play of Dark Souls 2.
That would be fucked up and shitty
and crap to watch.
For those that are wondering,
do you really want to see like a really tough game
being played over the course of how long
would you even take?
It took me 60 hours to go through Dark One
and that included almost three hours
on a single boss.
We got something fun planned.
There's a breadth of content coming for it.
There's stuff, guys.
We promise there's stuff.
And also, I'm going to get us up to date
with the mailbag by the end of the week.
By the end of the week.
Yeah.
We'll be there.
I guess now we're working on best of 2014, eh?
Yeah.
By putting out content.
Oh, exactly.
We are getting it done little by little
doing that.
Employer of the month, once again.
We'll try.
We're going to have a dance party in here
right after this podcast is done.
We've got the space for it now.
It's roller skating.
Do you have your strobe lights?
No, we have all of them.
I'll bring them over.
Zack's all comfortable now.
He's not hiding anymore.
He's so comfy.
He's sitting right in the way of traffic.
It's great.
I got a room to breathe in.
He's peeing on your shoes.
Yeah.
But first, I got to go break in your bathroom, though.
No!
Don't do it!
See you guys next week.
Bye.
Bye.