Castle Super Beast - SBFC 038: Not Safe For Life
Episode Date: April 29, 2014Bearer of the curse, there are many dark places on the internet that one should never go. We're talking about those NSFL places today, but really, don't do it. Don't seek shit. Email us at superbestfr...iendcast -at- gmail -dot- com.
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So, Long Horizon sucks!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Man, not again!
What are you doing?
I haven't even watched it and I know it's...
Oh my god!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
Oh, geez!
Oh, gosh!
It isn't good though.
No!
Boy did Liam and I stir up a hornets nest with that last week and we're okay with that.
Yeah, it's okay.
But more importantly, I want to continue what we're just practicing about.
Well, we're talking about before.
Okay, backindicks.
I wanted to ask you, how does it feel to be the member of your family of your entire
lineage that has seen the most fucked up shit to the point of desensitization?
Don't want to be in your entire lifetime, where is this coming from?
So, we were talking about Raiden Spina's earlier, and that led into the conversation of the
fucked up stuff.
That being said, the specific way you frame that, I am not the person to see the most
fucked up stuff in my family.
My grandmother lived on a farm, and my dad, at one point in his youth, worked part-time
at a slaughterhouse.
Sure.
So.
Sure.
So.
But you see the stuff out there.
Variation-wise.
Through mere internet exposure, the fact that you or I could sit there and stare at Goatsey,
stare deep into the darkness of Goatsey, because Goatsey is friendly to me now.
That's not the worst.
And I can, no, no, but that's the thing.
At one time, Goatsey was the worst, and I can stare deep into the eyes of Goatsey and
eat my cereal.
There's nothing there.
There's been an arms race.
Which you've done.
Yeah.
You've done an arms race for horrible things on the internet.
Yeah.
By the way, no one look up anything that we're talking about if you don't know.
You don't already know.
It's it.
Yes.
But we'll link them in the podcast.
It might be considered not safe for work.
First we had, like, Goatsey, then you had Lemon Party, then we moved on to Lemon Party,
and, um, uh.
A hot tub girl, I think, was way worse than Goatsey.
A tub girl was real bad.
You got into the videos.
Two girl, one cup.
Now, so that.
Two girls, one cup was like the lightning, the first watershed moment of horrible internet
and all of it.
Oh yeah.
Because that's the first one I can remember that people that don't do this to themselves.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're seeing it.
Right.
Because there were enough people like you and I, Willie, who just saw that shit for fun,
that were going, no, you gotta watch this.
And the reaction video to it became the thing.
Yeah.
Open Anthony getting every one of their guests to sit and stare at the show.
I wish we could have a video that off like that.
I was like on an off time.
I had taken time off from ruining my soul.
After I went through like those Russian car accident topics.
Oh, those are bad.
Right.
And I was like, I'm done.
Because they don't stop.
No, they don't.
Um, and I'm talking about the photos of the aftermath kind of stuff.
So I was done for a little while, right?
And then I just.
Now you're back into the game.
So then I see people going like all those two girls, one cup thing is like the worst
thing.
It's the worst.
It's the worst.
You'll never, you will die watching it.
Right.
You remember that?
Yeah.
Because I know someone's going to do it to me that I'm like, someone's going to.
Might as well get it out of the way.
Get me.
Pop your own cherry.
I might as well just do it.
And I sat down and I watched the whole thing and I didn't blink.
And I felt nothing.
It's like a boner.
And like, I came away from that going like, I am now worried about the level of damage
I've inflicted on myself.
That didn't even faze that didn't even warrant a mention to someone else.
And the question would be like, if you, even if you were not prepared, would it still?
No, no.
That reaction.
No, no.
If you stumbled upon the video and it didn't say the worst thing ever.
Yeah.
If there had been no buildup, I would have been like, oh, oh, all right.
Give it.
All right.
How many more minutes of this?
Three?
Let me put it in a pizza pocket.
So like, the thing about two or else one cup that I always thought was weird is like,
you get hit with your initial blast of awful and that never really gets any worse.
It just, it sustains it's awful.
Okay.
It gets worse.
It gets worse.
It gets worse.
It gets worse.
Stage one to stage two.
There's a stage 2.5.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But you never get to like stage 10.
No.
Where you're like, oh.
Yeah.
Or it's like live murder.
Like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like, like,
and I worry...
I really, really, really worry.
For me.
The one that I was like I'm busted.
I can see whatever or not flinch, but this still made me fucking flinch in spank wire
video.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That one's that's bad because to this date, still haven't made it through it.
And I think I made it here either.
No.
I, all the things around it would be unfahized and then that when I'd get to, I get to like
the nail moment.
And I'd be like, nah.
Can't do this?
Nah.
Yeah.
No.
Because Payne-Olympics...
Payne-Olympics is absurd.
And Olympics retains its crown in my book.
And I don't know anyone who's made it through.
No.
That's the thing.
Like something like Mr. Hands, you can be like, wow that's fucked up, ha ha ha, but like
effortless compared to fucking Payne-Olympics.
Payne-Olympics is absurd.
So we can stay now.
I think I died.
Of course.
Mr. Hands is dead.
That's sad.
I have to say now that in 2014, like, oh once again, do not, don't, don't, don't, anything
that we just...
You shouldn't say that.
But guess what?
Your curiosity?
Okay.
There are already...
Here's the deal.
Here's the deal.
There are two kinds of people that are listening to this.
The people that are like, oh god, oh I hope they talk about video games soon.
And the people going like, what was that?
What was that?
Payne-Olympics?
Oh.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Gonna get my mom with this.
See what...
What was the point of this?
N-O-S-F-L.
Yeah.
Not safe for life.
Your life isn't safe.
Like because your boss will look over your shoulder and see it and be like, oh Johnson,
I'm fired.
Promotions.
I'm firing myself so I can go home and just die.
And he just walks out the window like a tea crowd.
Yeah.
Internet has both ruined and improved my life.
Enriched.
Enriched.
Enhanced.
Yeah.
Welcome to episode 38 of the podcast.
Sick of high gas prices?
Visit lemonparty.org.
My all time favorite roadside.
Yeah.
That was the best.
Don't do it kids.
Don't.
This episode, you know what, there's some other stuff that's been building up in the
background.
Oh no.
Yeah.
That's what I tell you what.
So I can actually say that like all the questions that have been coming in, where are you going
with that?
I don't know.
He's just mumbling.
I think I was going for like a dumb anchor man kind of like, oh yeah, yeah.
So through thousands and thousands of questions that we've gotten, there's a couple that repeat
the most often.
Rise above.
Yeah.
All the time.
We're doing the reverse letter time.
Sounds like we are.
We're doing it the way because there's no way to not address this question anymore.
Yeah.
Because it's how we just do walking dead season two.
That's literally what I was going to say.
That's when it's done.
That's literally what we did the first one and then we hemmed and hawed about putting
it up and then we're like, nah, let's wait until they're all out.
All right.
That ends that chapter.
One of the most asked questions, if not in the top five, then you know, up there, up
there.
Why are you so stupid, you stupid, stupid idiot?
Yeah.
Which answers itself really.
Why does your butt smell so bad?
And why do you like to kiss it?
I can smell it through the YouTube player.
The question is, if you had to stand, what would it be called and what would it be?
So no, everyone needs to know this.
I had a discussion with like 10 friends at different points of my life and I've never
come up with a satisfactory answer.
So that's why.
I'd say this, I've had a discussion with someone else about this a while ago and sort of came
up with something I think is cool, but regardless, considering the fact that I'm the only one
that's seen past part three, for example, this is a question that's going to be tricky
to answer anyway.
So I'd say, you have till next week to do your homework and this is in reference to
a stand, which is a magic dude that hangs out with you in Jojo's Bizarre Adventure Part
3 onwards.
Like a Persona or Shaman King.
Sure.
I was going to go for an altar from Skry and they do magical, but yes.
So that being said, just pick, for next week, pick or create, but I'm saying choose something
based on a song or band that you think sounds cool that you'll be into and then create a
power or thing that always upsets me about these kinds of things.
Always, always, always, always, is that every, like 99% of people say, so what, hey, what,
what would you, what would you like your stand, and they go, I want mine to be able to just
shoot laser beams that kill everyone and you're like, and you're, and you're like, no, shut
up.
The coolest stand users are the ones in which their stand can do almost nothing except if
they happen to be in a room with this level of humidity.
The stand is really, really, really good.
It's gotta be the most specific thing ever.
And like the bad guys in each series always have the most broken busted shit and people
would always say, I want that one, but it's like, no, let's be a little bit more creative,
come up with a thing that has a weakness.
I want the time travels.
Fuck you.
Yeah, completely, it has a weakness, but the general gist of it is based on a band name
or a song name or some reference to pop music and the problem is we'll come up with a band
name and then you who is read way farther and be like, no, that's total.
That's already used.
Yeah.
That's also the point of this.
I'll tell you, but too many people want to know.
So we have to address it out front right now at the gates.
That being said, you were totally a liar a couple of weeks ago when you said that part
two of JoJo was not up on country roll, it is totally up on country roll.
It wasn't at the time.
It was not.
It literally went up that week on a liar.
But anyway.
All JoJo's up on country roll.
Now it's all there.
Now it's all there.
Send Vento.
Fuck it.
Oh, fuck.
Yeah.
And would you care to know what the second, one of the second most requested?
What is it?
In an exact similar vein, if you are a wrestler, what's your gimmick?
What's your finishing move?
Okay.
Right.
So we'll do that next week.
Just because, yeah.
That's a little bit easier, but sure.
And we'll drop our mail bag questions down from however many to less than half.
That'll be, yeah, that'll be a whole other podcast.
But then people have to make sure to listen to that podcast.
They do.
They do.
So you should probably listen to this podcast every week.
I take the time to let some people know, like, hey, we did answer that question already,
you know, sometimes on this one or that one.
But only some people though.
We're going to, we're going to get back to you guys on what our stance should be.
We answered that question.
Please listen to every other podcast to find the answer.
I'm not sure.
I bet you don't answer the guys who are like, why don't you do this asshole?
Please write me back.
Like in lemon grab voice.
Signed Pat.
Yeah.
Guys, how's your weeks going?
Good.
Anyway, on a biffle?
Good.
When it was a good week.
My week was good.
I went up to a thing and I didn't back down.
Good.
Yeah.
I had a thing and I didn't back down from having none of us back down from going to
it.
You guys back down.
We did not.
Not at all.
We did not.
Okay.
For those people that are like, what the fuck is this?
Which is to say everybody but 11 people and giving up is not the same as backing down.
Giving up is not the same as backing down.
I am a friend hosted a party called never back down from going to Matt and lays place
the back down.
Yeah.
Which is in reference to that joke that we haven't really fully explained.
No.
But just to give it some context.
We're idiots.
We're looking at Netflix.
Me and my girlfriend and she goes, what's that movie say?
And I go, it says never back down.
She goes, is it called never back down to the back down?
And I go, it does it.
And I look and it's actually the beat down.
Yeah.
But in the Netflix thumbnail, it was so small that I thought it was the back down.
And they told wooly that and wooly fucking lasted shit for three minutes.
And we've been driving this crap into the ground ever since.
Yeah.
Because of the idea of whatever you get.
Yeah.
But it was just like a housewarming party with lots of food.
It was really great and had a bunch of friends over.
We watched the first never back down.
Yep.
Surprisingly enjoyable.
Despite its incredibly poor quality.
The most important part about that night.
Which is?
We got to taste the Liam dip.
No, it's true.
Liam made some very nice dip.
The Liam dip?
Heavy.
Hard to spoon.
Hard to spoon the Liam dip.
What a little context we're creating.
We were trying to scoop at it and it was resisting our scoops.
The very first attempt to scoop it.
My scooper broke in half.
Yeah.
In all fairness, your scooper was a chip.
My scooper was so.
But then I grabbed some French bread.
It took you some French bread.
To dip past the cheese barrier.
Yeah.
And it was a rough time.
And then you pulled it up and you took like half of the upper rim of the dip with you.
I saw you later in the night just standing there with like three bits of bread in your
head.
And you're just like eating all my dip.
Liam, that dip was amazing.
That being said, every time I went back for more, it caused a mustache and beard disaster.
Right.
I'm glad you guys liked it.
You got to put the flavor saver to use, man.
Like is that kind of thing where like you would, I would fucking eat it, then go and
wash my face.
And then go back to eat more.
And then a couple minutes later, taste it again because I somehow missed a spot.
It was amazing.
It was super good dip.
I'm glad you guys liked the dip.
We'll make it another time.
Good job, Liam.
I took a gander at the first episode of the From Dust Till Dawn Netflix series.
And that's all I got to say.
I did not watch the second one.
Gander seems to be the right word.
Yeah, gander.
What's weird is that it's-
You drove by it and leaned out your window and never let up off the gas.
I almost sought to spit out the window, but I was like, ah, that's too much effort.
What's weird is that it's actually like the movie.
Again, it's the same characters and I'm like, well, thanks.
I know how this show ends.
That's how it goes.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
I did not like it at all.
They had a guy playing George Clooney.
They had a guy playing Quentin Tarantino.
And we look up the guy that's playing Quentin Tarantino's role because he's just Snow,
the rapper.
They hired a guy that looked exactly like him from the Informer video.
And my girlfriend goes, is that Snow?
I'm like, I know, right?
It was weird.
I do not like it.
That sounds, in terms of setup and execution, kind of like the Zombieland series.
But that never actually happened, right?
This is actually coming out.
Robert Rodriguez is the one that's writing this.
Oh no, he's involved.
He's involved heavily.
Oh, there's no saving that.
I don't like it at all.
But other than that, I played more Broforce.
Dude, Broforce has custom soundtracks.
Do you know what we missed, man?
Fucking co-op.
No, not just that.
You know who was next in that video?
Fucking Ripley.
Ripley was the next character we had to unlock.
Yeah, there's like 15 more.
We've taken a while.
We played an hour or so.
I wish I had known about that.
Yeah, I wish I had known about Mercenary Kids.
Well, now we're even, aren't we, assholes?
Yeah, I suppose so.
We're getting even with each other at the expense of video quality.
Man, you guys all suck.
Specifically, Contra-like games.
Oh yeah, they're the same.
Our Metal Slug likes.
We lost the same game.
Yeah, spirit.
Anyway, I also got to play the new Samurai, sorry, the new Shadow Warrior.
Right, right.
That came on PC not too long ago, because I always wanted to play it.
It was a huge Shadow Warrior fan.
And then I was like, oh, I heard that they kind of toned this down.
Well, they had to because Shadow Warrior was ludicrously racist.
It was really bad.
I am Lo Wang.
I am a Ninja Master from Japan.
I love my Chinese fireworks.
It's like.
It's like.
It's what it's from the makers of Duke Nukem, but I played about an hour of it and it was
like pretty good.
Yeah, that's the shoot bang.
Is it the old shoot bang?
It's old shoot bang, but it's also old melee bang as well.
Right, right.
Like you can cut with your sword in any direction and people's heads pop off, their legs pop
off.
I love it.
Super unfamiliar with the series.
Sorry?
Well, it was in that era of like Duke 3D.
It was Duke Nukem 3D.
It was made by the creators.
Remember when Doom created a huge amount of Doom clones?
Yes.
Well, Duke 3D did the exact same thing.
Like blood.
One whole unit of blood.
Rise of the Triad.
All those games are off that engine for Duke Nukem 3D.
Flat 3D.
Yeah.
Yeah, flat 3D.
That's a good example.
And yeah, I tried another run at Shadow Jago.
Could not even get close to him.
Did you see Max's absurd video?
Okay, Max Millions video boss raid.
Shadow Jago is fucking amazing.
He needs to do tons more of these because it was so fucking entertaining.
And the fact that he got all the way to the end and then he messed up the requirements
to unlock Shadow Jago.
And during his stream, members of Double Helix were like, dude, okay, no, here's how
you actually do it.
And he was like, oh god.
And you have to have played on the meat.
And he's playing on the hardest difficulty.
He's playing on Kyle.
Yeah.
Which is the name of the program.
The one of the programmers.
Yeah.
Wait, the name of the difficulty is just the guy's name?
Yeah.
That's so awesome.
After Killer difficulty.
After the hardest difficulty is just called Kyle.
That's so...
Yeah.
That's such a challenge.
That's such a gauntlet thrown down.
Well, one of the requirements is that you have to get two supreme victories on this
difficulty.
Yeah.
And that seemed to be like...
Oh my god.
You're not...
That's the real hurdle.
But he was able to do it, so go on him.
Ben, Ben, he helped.
Yeah.
Of course.
And it doesn't have to be a perfect, it's just you don't go down.
You don't lose a round for two matches.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But you can take damage.
You just can't lose the round.
You can't lose the round though.
Fuck.
So yeah, that's pretty much what I did.
How's it going with you, William?
It's going good.
I started the week off good with Demon Gaze that came out.
And Demon Gaze is...
You won't shut the fuck up about Demon Gaze.
It's really good.
Is it good though?
It is.
It is.
So when are you going to get to the later part of the game, and then when we all start
it, you tell us how terrible it is.
You're never gonna...
When you get to the halfway point.
Sure.
I'm the only one in danger of this.
Yeah.
All right.
No, it's really good.
Oh, sorry.
Don't want to cut you off for Demon Gaze.
I've been seeing a lot of people asking us, like, we totally left the bravely default
situation by the roadside.
Did anyone actually beat the game?
Completely dropped it.
We did.
You just dropped it and dropped it.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, I dropped it.
So Demon Gaze is a dungeon RPG by experience, and we've never gotten a game by experience
localized ever, but they make dungeon RPGs like Wizardry and stuff.
I don't know if you guys like Wizardry.
Yeah, I'm for sure.
But anyway, I really like dungeon RPGs.
They're great.
And this one's just super good, super well-balanced feeling.
It's my first run, so of course it always feels kind of well balanced because it's so
brutally difficult.
Then you'll find the fucked up thing you can do in the first 10 minutes that ruins the
game.
Precisely, exactly.
And there probably is, but I don't know.
There's a bit more fan service than I'd want, but not nearly as bad as Conception
2.
Oh, really?
Well, Conception 2...
I can't...
I can't knock up girls for points.
Conception 2 just is boring and isn't fun.
Oh.
Demon Gaze is actually really good.
Yeah, just like not boring.
Not very exciting.
Demon Gaze is really good.
It's anti-exciting.
And get anti-hyped for Conception 2.
Yeah, absolutely.
Conception 3, the backup.
Conception 3.
Yeah.
Slow job.
Otherwise...
This run!
I went to the back down.
That was fun.
That's back down, yeah.
We watched another movie called A Hard Ticket to Hawaii.
Hard Ticket to Hawaii!
What the fuck is a hard ticket?
Okay.
Does anyone remember the line that really killed us all?
Oh, no.
About a snake.
Oh, yeah, the snake's gotten the...
The snake is contaminated due to talkies from rats that had cancer.
So the snake doesn't have cancer, but has some other thing from cancer rats.
A Hard Ticket to Hawaii is an amazing 80's movie that just captures everything terribly.
Amazingly awful.
And watching it, and if you can't watch it, it was featured on Red Letter Media's Best
of the Worst at one point, which shows off both of the best explosion moments ever in
a film.
Right.
Yeah.
You get like the counter where every 15 minutes, if tits or explosions aren't happening, throw
them both on screen.
Yeah.
They've got to be there.
It feels like a weird 70's microcosm of HBO in a single movie.
Yeah.
And surprisingly, it's still terrible in the same way as Samurai Cop, but they go different
routes.
Definitely.
You know?
Samurai Cop also was a lot terribler and funnier.
But like...
This is the one guy, and this was a group of like four or five people.
You almost lose the plot.
I totally lost the plot.
You lost the plot for other reasons.
Yeah, I was a little drunk.
And the actors in Samurai Cop are what, make it a train wreck?
Oh, yeah.
The actors in writing.
It's the direction that's really steamrolling everybody.
Yeah.
It's obtuse.
It's so stupid.
So snakes live in toilets.
That's what I'm talking about.
That's good shit.
Otherwise, Child of Light comes out tomorrow.
Comes out tomorrow.
Today.
We're Tuesday today.
Today!
Yeah, not yet plated though.
Reviews are all over the place.
Yeah, I was going to get into that on the document.
We're going to get into that.
We'll get deeper into that later.
So, don't talk about things you didn't do with your week.
But on Thursday, which is the first of May, I'm going to be streaming it.
Starting at 7pm Eastern on my Twitch channel.
Which is?
Go fuck it up.
Liam?
It's 2BF, Liam.
2BF, Liam.
That makes a lot more sense than just...
Twitch.com.
Dash 2BF, Liam.
No, no.
Dash 2BF, L-I-A-M.
There you go.
The same as your daughter, right?
Yes.
Oh man, you got it all.
All, all.
All the same.
Tight passage.
Tight in there.
So, I'm going to be streaming that then because the update, the firmware for PS4 that lets
you save your recordings comes out on the 30th.
You know what else comes out of that fucking firmware?
What?
The ability to turn off HDCP.
Yes, it does.
Which is going to make my life a whole lot easier.
You kept saying it comes out this week.
It comes out this week.
But they finally gave a date.
I don't think it will come out this week.
You know, it's going to come out on Wednesday and then I can take that horrible abomination
of cables that I've been using to record PS4.
And crash it all.
And just put it away.
Yeah.
Because hey guys, now it's okay for you to copy your videos, but we didn't like you doing
it before.
No, no.
What's the fucking logic behind this thing?
It felt like they didn't think of it.
Yeah.
Like it...
It was just a total of...
It's a switch as we've...
It really feels like when they put like they're like, we're going to do share and then people
went, what about our capture gear?
And then it went, shit, we forgot to put a thing in it because of the Blu-ray.
It has to have the HDCP.
So you don't just copy our Blu-rays and distribute the files.
So what it does is it leads you to a situation where if you want to do that, you create a
setup in which it's trivial to copy Blu-rays.
Exactly.
But whatever, they're moving anyway, so it doesn't matter.
So yeah, I'm streaming Child of Light, 7pm on the first...
Can I come over?
No.
Okay.
You're busy.
I know you got plans.
I don't.
I don't know.
Yeah, you do.
I don't even.
Yeah, you do.
What did I do this?
You got a new dragon dick just right there.
Oh, it's...
Yeah.
We've got like eight of them now.
You're going to be real busy with all eight of these.
Well, what's your deal with your week, man?
My week...
Save this.
My week was...
I was going to go in a little bit, but now I feel bad.
So I'm going to leave it a little bit.
That's fine.
Let it sit.
Let it simmer.
Let it boil.
No, for me it was a fairly standard week, man.
Like, I'm doing my media grabs as it goes, so my weeks have been for the last set.
JoJo, Kamen Rider, Game of Thrones, Dark Souls, you know.
These are good things to do.
He's just shoving that into my brain.
That continues to be a thing.
And I guess the one standout thing was I fucking got back home and just popped in persona for
Arena and like kept training and kept playing.
Okay.
Because man, that game is fun.
Guess what?
What?
Exactly.
Because I went online and I'm like, I saw some guy on Reddit talking shit about how we suck.
I'm like, you know what?
You're totally right.
We suck.
I want to figure out what I'm...what I don't...what I'm not doing.
And I just want to know like, what's Kanji's BNB's?
What's...
Who goes BNB's?
I'm like, I found out like eight new properties to the moveset that I wasn't even aware existed.
Dude, so that's the thing, right?
Like on Fisticuffs, we're not going to like get into like, oh, this is a bad matchup or
whatever.
We're not talking about that shit.
We're not doing the top eights of this game.
Yeah.
So most like, most games we just suck at.
Sure.
The rest is always a factor, you know?
I think if we want those sort of like, hey, welcome, you're not doing this or...
I think we need to like, eventually pick a game that's maybe like someone that there's
actually no scene for.
Sure.
That's the only way to eliminate it.
Well, there's always a scene for everything.
That fucking Jackie Chan game has a goddamn scene.
But when I say that like, Kanji's the paper to Akihiko's Rock, it's because there's like
a BNB that you do with him.
That's 90%.
It's real bad.
You know what I mean?
And like, you don't have that.
And I'm like, okay, I can survive that.
So the trigger was like, man, I want to know this stuff.
And then I look up and I was like, oh man, I can put the lightning at different distances.
How did I not know that?
Jesus.
Stuff like that, right?
How did you not know that?
No, I somehow, I must have been doing it unconsciously.
I don't know.
So then I decided I'm going to look up Ultimax footage and Ultimax looks so hot.
Yeah.
Ultimax looks so hot.
Oh yeah, no.
Oh man.
Those games were fucking great.
Oh, and I'm reading through a changelog.
I'm like, oh, that's really good.
It's just weird because you were just complaining about some change.
Yeah.
See, I was complaining about Kanji getting nerfed.
But then I saw the nerfs they gave Mitsuru and I was like, oh my God.
Which she fucking deserves.
Through the floor.
Through the floor.
She's done.
Which, you know, anyway.
But regardless though, like, I just, yeah, I was addicted again.
Yeah.
I came back and I'm like, I gotta play more.
It's a good game.
It's a great game.
It's a good game.
I also switched my language back to English because I fucking, I like...
Understanding the words.
Yeah, well sure.
I was a part of it.
Though I was catching what he was saying for the most part.
Persona voice acting is great both ends of the spectrum.
If anything, the Japanese voice acting is not up to the high quality of the English cast.
That's interesting.
And I will believe you because after playing Catherine and seeing like the standard of voice acting in that as well,
I was like, okay, no, these guys know what the fuck is going on.
Like I watched, my experiences, I played the games and I watched the enemies in their original language.
I was like, maybe it's just the fact that that's my language, but the vet, like most of these casting choices are stronger in English.
Sometimes it always helps with whatever you start with.
Like, I noticed people that was like, oh, the Trigun in Japanese is just awful.
Because I'm so used to Johnny Young Bosch doing it.
Yeah.
Because that was people's first exposure to Trigun, the pioneer of VHS.
But the important thing, no, the real important factor though there is that like,
honestly, in most cases, if you end up preferring the English, whether you saw it before or after,
chances are it's because the English is really good.
Yeah.
In specific Johnny Young Bosch in all of his roles.
Yes.
He's better than the Japanese counterpart.
Absolutely.
Same thing for the guy that plays Akihiko and the blonde guy in Catherine.
What's his name?
That's Lima Brian.
Yes, Lima Brian.
Fucking amazing.
And half of people in New Vegas also.
Yeah.
And he had war, I think, as well.
Yeah, he does war.
Golden boy.
He's got a very blue up.
Lima Brian, blue up.
Golden boy.
Unwatchable in Japanese.
It's the priming.
There's only one problem with the persona cast voice acting is that for three and four,
they're not through almost everybody.
Like, they work through every actor.
Everybody's in there.
Troy Baker is a huge character.
Yuri Lowenthal is a huge character.
And so, like, P3 has all different voices than P4.
But then there are minor roles in each done by the primary characters and the other ones.
Yeah.
Because there are just so many voice actors that exist.
So when I think about P5 and realize that if any of those characters stay over, they
have to keep their old roles.
No.
Like, who the fuck is left to do the new roles?
Like, Steve Bloom is going to play a 16-year-old high school girl?
Well, what you do is you pull a David Hader and you find nuances that create the characters
different voices.
Like, suddenly, oh, Solid Snake is more girly than David.
But Yuri Lowenthal will never not be brusque.
Like, you're never not going to be able to hear that.
It's inescapable.
You know what other persona games you should play?
Any of them.
Yeah.
Keep that going.
Well, not P3 original.
Fuck that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, what's the ending for P4 Arena?
I don't know.
How'd that game end?
I don't know.
Who's the bad guy?
I don't know.
I'll get to it before we're all to Max.
Good job.
Yeah.
Okay.
Keep it coming.
May as well be non-canon.
Yeah.
It is canon, though.
I know.
But you may as well be non-canon.
God damn it.
You know what's also not canon?
Star Wars.
Every Star Wars game ever.
Fuck it.
Let's get right into it.
Hey, where's my Wii?
You said nothing going on.
I had two things I wanted to talk about.
I was getting all ready to bitch about the Dark Souls PC version.
Oh.
Because when it came out, it didn't work.
Yeah.
At all.
And that's your thing.
It just crashed the desktop.
Well, the game just doesn't fucking work.
Yeah.
You know what, when I pay $50 for a game and it just doesn't fucking go?
Yeah.
That's outrageous.
Console.
Console master race for the win.
A little bit.
I was getting so, so ready to shit talk that.
The whole podcast and they fixed it earlier today.
And now the PC version just looks awesome.
Yeah.
It does.
But there was something else that I needed to bring up.
And Liam would know about this.
Oh.
But before you let him off the hook though, those are the kind of kinks that like...
Arrages.
That shouldn't happen.
The word I want to say is unacceptable.
Totally unacceptable.
It's just a product.
And it was like 10, 15% of all people just couldn't play it.
It's an HDMI issue.
If you had an HDMI going into your television or like a monitor and it didn't have the correct
settings or whatever, or it was unique, it just would crash.
And I'm catching, I'm hearing and reading from about people that are like, I'm skipping
out on consoles this generation and just going PC.
No.
You can't do that.
PC will always have its place when console ports are garbage.
Or when there are PC versions that are way, way, way better.
But the hassle involved in your average PC release.
I was going to say.
PC from Japanese companies that are not Sega.
Yeah.
And...
Capcom's pretty good actually.
Capcom's pretty good.
Yeah.
Not perfect.
And UBC.
They're good.
Oh my God.
Ubisoft.
Fucking soft.
That's where I was going.
It's like you skip out and like there's pros and cons.
But one of those fucking cons is you're going to run into this.
Like you look at the watchdog system requirements and then you have to remember that it might
be that those aren't even accurate.
And the game might just run like shit no matter what depending on what team they give it to.
They give it to Ubi Kev.
They give it to Ubi Muncher.
Like oh...
Fucking fuck.
You don't want to go crazy.
They wait until halfway through the generation.
Yeah.
No.
That's the rule.
Keep your good PC now and then halfway through the gen.
Get in.
When the frame rates start to suck.
Then switch over.
But you were saying.
Repeat.
Liam had a thing to know about this.
Oh right.
So I was pretty drunk when I left the back down.
I noticed.
Yeah.
So I was convinced into doing something really stupid.
The same people that convinced me to watch Attack on Titan said hey we started watching
a new television show.
Anime if you would.
And I said fine.
I will watch it.
Okay.
When this has been a show that I don't know if it sucks or not because I've only seen
two episodes but I will say that it has been totally failed by its audience.
I have never seen a show more failed by its audience attempting to get people to watch
it by showing people the wrong things.
Because I thought it was A when it's not even B it's G.
It's all the way over.
I like this.
I like this new like it has just what you getting exposed to some random shit by pure
pressure.
Yeah.
And then give us your reaction.
That's how long the horizon was.
Yeah.
What show was this?
It was Junimbio.
Ah.
Ah.
That stupid shit with the little girl with the eye patch.
Yeah.
Every show.
Yes.
Okay.
One.
Flier to actually sitting down and watching it.
I'll have to re-watch it because I was pretty drunk.
It explains why you watched it.
Yeah.
I just want to note I did not pressure him into watching it.
No.
This has nothing to do with you?
No.
Nothing.
Because I wouldn't.
Because there's no point.
I wouldn't like it.
When I say the audience failed it I mean every single piece of art or screen cap or discussion
about this.
Every single scene has a little anime girl with some big dumb magic sword and it looks
like the most awful fucking trash ever.
And it was literally one of the things I would mock Liam for watching.
And then I sat down and watched it and was like oh it's not that at all it's just some
dumb high school thing.
Yeah.
Like it's a completely-
People pretending to have an imaginary power.
It's just kids being itty.
Kids being itty.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And like oh well if I'm going to hate on it I might as well hate on it for the thing
that it actually is.
So but yeah I don't know man.
No it's not a dude.
It's not the best show by any stretch.
I don't know why you're watching it.
Well it's too late now.
I watched two episodes so I have to watch it or locked it.
Heavily considered skipping the second season.
No.
That's not how I-
Oh okay.
No because what I'm going to do is since I've already started the path I will then clear
through the path by what day is it today?
Tuesday?
I will clear through the path by tomorrow.
And then next week I will bitch.
Yeah.
Well it kind of goes-
That whole side identity song with the Kendrick Lamar thing is pretty good.
It's pretty good.
But it kind of goes to shit by the end of the first season.
Awesome.
The second season is just worse than the first.
Great.
Same studio that did hero here.
Can't-
Yeah absolutely.
Wait.
And they still animate like fucking geniuses.
I await.
The animation's great.
I await your thesis statements people that are already writing them.
But you haven't stated anything yet.
Yeah.
You haven't taken a-
Your thesis statements were amazing.
I appreciate them.
My favorite one was the guy who said you wouldn't like Mao Mao Yuusha because it's the same
kind of thing by the same kind of guy and I'm like no I love that show it's just good.
Unlike this one it's just bad.
Yeah.
Unrelated but there was-
It's just poor gas right onto it.
In the comments of the last trailer video for the podcasting that went up was a dude
that was like man Woolly I don't get your inconsistent tastes because you like so much
awesome shit but then you go and hate on Jet Set Radio.
What?
What?
What?
What?
What are you smoking?
Remember-
You're not one of those people that think that I'm you or-
Hold on there is a significant proportion of our audience that cannot tell the difference
between our voice and my voice.
Yeah maybe.
So I may have said something like ah I don't really care for Jet Set Radio.
Right after you like we're all over a hundred's dick and people thought that was the same
person.
You know because of like the thing that's on my hat right next to Reboot.
Yeah.
Literally.
Anyway um good week all in all.
Sure let us know how that goes.
It'll probably go terrible.
I don't know why you're doing this to yourself.
And because I-
You're not drunk anymore just stop.
I'm a little drunk.
And while you're at it you're gonna have to get back to us and tell us how free was
as well.
I already lost a bunch of free.
Because we know where this is going.
What the fuck is wrong with you?
He's lost control of his life.
I'm surprised.
That I've tried to give you but you don't do it and then you watch free.
Hold on hold on hold on.
We started this podcast with the discussion of staring at horrible things to build up
your tolerance.
You know what you did preface this.
And free was pitched to me and I was like I kinda gotta watch it and it was exactly
what I thought it was.
But not enough.
No it wasn't as good as it should have been.
It was I thought it was you wanted more.
I thought.
Yeah.
If free was gonna be a pandering creepy man sex thing then I expected it to just dive
in a hardcore pornography.
Dive.
Yeah.
Dive right in that shit hole.
It would always like kinda edge up and like edge their elbows against the boner and they
go oh no.
Oh no he's wearing a swimsuit in the bath.
Why are you wearing a swimsuit in the bath?
Like I was waiting for the point where it's just like somebody opens a door and there
is like there's Santorum everywhere.
Yeah.
No free was just a bit limp.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because it's entertaining and it's pretty.
Tune in next week to our uninformed debate anime review.
Yeah.
I saw.
It's like I wanted to feel more uncomfortable and I wanted to.
There's a topic on the Reddit post on the Reddit that's a man I feel like I'm missing
out on half the stuff because I don't I hate anime.
I hate it.
Yeah.
And these guys talk about it and I hate it and I feel left out.
Oh you're saying that's the person writing this comment.
And man dude don't feel bad we all hate anime.
Yeah.
Everyone gets there.
Everyone.
Everyone hates it.
I just watched the things I like and don't watch bullshit.
No you gotta even it out and I mean like oh like I watch a lot of shit every season.
I know it's shit.
I know man.
A lot of people don't seem to think I know how to have your Brussels sprouts with your
meat so that you can appreciate the meat in the anime.
No.
You don't need to do that on your side.
I don't know.
They're just moments where I'm like I don't do anything for 10 hours I'm just gonna ruin
my life now.
Yeah.
I could do drugs but fuck that.
If it's a 30 episode or less then maybe but fucking 26 man.
Ah that's a dick.
I'm rendering out for it.
How long was Kill Kill?
Kill Kill was 24.
So?
Yeah but it was real but it was something you're not into.
Yeah.
Right okay.
To matter of thought you're not into.
I'm the kind of person that if I get like 3 or 4 in even if I really hate it like if
I hate it enough like I'm now hooked to see like is it gonna get worse.
You're the kind of person who drinks a beer and has to finish the other 11.
Yeah.
I'm that person.
Like Lager Eyes is the perfect example where early on I knew I hated it but I was like
but people keep telling me it's good.
Maybe I just have to wait a little longer.
I don't want to look like.
You're getting into it again.
Yeah.
You're getting into it again.
I don't want to look like it is.
And this is the point where opinions become opinions.
I don't want to be that guy who watches 11 episodes in and some no I don't want to be
the guy who watches 4 episodes in the Gurren Lager.
Yeah.
We're not gonna repeat the last week so now just continue shitting on database though.
Database is the worst.
Did you look that up?
No I just think.
The best thing about database is gifts.
But I'm just just the fact that like everyone's like losing the worst song ever.
Everyone's losing their shit and then like and then they go and he hate any shit on
database.
Okay.
Freaks the fuck out.
You see the gifts of database by the way.
Let's backtrack to episode one of this podcast in which I say if you like music you are
dumb.
Right.
Right.
Okay.
Preface this whole thing.
Well database is the worst song ever created by a human being.
Unconvinced it was made by robots who are trying to kill us with bad noise.
It is the worst.
You might not remember the intro and outro from the Berserk anime.
No I never saw it.
I would always skip.
Well nothing's gonna be database.
Okay.
Whoa whoa whoa.
Database.
This is bad.
Oh it's the worst.
It's the worst.
Shut up shut up.
No sing it with me.
No shut up.
No sing it with me.
Shut up.
Hold my hand.
I need to place it with the intro to hack sign and make it all better.
Cause that's fucking awesome.
Seesaw.
That's the opposite scenario.
Yeah.
The music in hack sign is too good.
And the rest of it can't keep up.
No really.
So now I have to watch hack sign.
But you don't know but I have to.
Cause I watched the two derivatives that people told me were both better and worse.
Just go re-kill a bite.
And for context I have to.
Ah fuck everything.
So Star Wars is fucked.
So Star Wars is fucked.
Wait what do you mean just like any other day?
Like it was already a bad day to be a Star Wars fan.
It's fucked in the sense that you're kind of now distancing yourself from the things
that were good about you.
Yeah.
It was already only.
So what's the deal with us?
I brought this up prior to this big one.
Lucas hand waved away like half the extended universe.
So it's been a rough time for anyone who's a Star Wars fan.
And then watching the Disney transition has been extra rough.
But it hasn't been like any direct actions you know we're taking.
There's never been a man in a suit telling you that thing you like fuck you.
Yeah.
So the way Liam put it earlier today was.
Yeah.
The 10 X-Wing books I read was just fan fiction I guess.
Yeah nothing.
Like fuck and those are great.
And now there's just no camera.
No tour one and two are fan fiction.
The fucking Clone Wars animated original series.
At the very least we can now all celebrate that Star Killer never happened.
I agree with this.
But this while General Grievous is now a shit character again.
Because his good parts are now gone.
Oh yeah that's true.
And if they make him cool again we'll know.
Now the only thing that can be said in quote unquote defense right.
Is that whoever is working with J.J. Brooms on the new movies.
They don't want to get J.J. Brooms but the rest of the media in general.
They're making a new movie.
They don't want to be like shackled by every other thing they came up with.
Every single line they write would have to do the gauntlet of side-offs and approvals.
And then nothing would get through.
But again not just the movie.
And now Rebels.
The only thing that counts is the CG animated TV show.
CG animated TV shows.
And the new series called Star Wars Rebels.
And right away we've made mistakes.
It should be the three movies.
If you're going to just remove huge portions.
Why not go all the way.
That's right Liam.
Let's get rid of four, five and six.
That's exactly what they want to do.
Four, five and six.
My biggest confusion though is now they're making a game called Battlefront 3.
And I don't know why they're starting at three.
It doesn't make sense for me.
Not bad.
This smacks me of also that this shit's getting out of hand.
Like Disney came in and looked at the entire universe.
This shit's getting out of hand.
We need a title.
Not even.
They didn't look at it.
That's the thing.
That makes too much sense.
No one would do that.
It's straight up just we can't move forward.
Somebody said, somebody came up with an idea.
One idea.
And then someone said no you can't do that because of the thing.
They said well guess what.
So you know it's all gone now.
Two episodes ago when I talked about Lucas turned Darth Maul towards Darth Talon.
They were friends.
And everyone went he left the room and then clearly someone went up to him and went okay
we need to address a thing.
And then he went what?
Okay no fuck that.
Like what do you mean I can't do what I want with my own character?
We just mean that really hot red twilight Sith isn't real.
Talon is not real.
That's Talon.
That's just fan fiction now.
Talon is the game you worked on.
Talon is the expanded universe character.
Talon is the game I worked on.
Recognized as a veteran.
Seriously?
People Alliance.
Characters that you care about that are gone.
Dash Rendar gone.
Shit.
Marajade.
Marajade.
Kyle Katarn.
IG-88.
IG-88.
HK-47.
And Kraya.
Talon.
gone.
The amazingly troubled cast of the X-wing novels.
Yes.
Now let's now.
Slave 2.
The co-tort ones.
Bobo Fett blowing up the fucking Sarlacc.
Crawling out and jumping into Slave 2.
Lucky for people that care about co-tort.
Tor already ruined those games by fucking with their continuity.
So the damage was already mostly done.
Hey, but now Tor doesn't count either.
No, Tor doesn't count either.
You got it too.
Suck it, new writer.
Luke in whatever Vader's Sith costume thing.
Doing a force crush on an AT-AT.
Gone.
No.
Wait, does this mean Super Star Wars and the Super Nintendo is okay?
It's totally canon.
Yeah, because it's based on the movie, but it fights a bunch of crazy monsters that never
happened.
Okay, those parts didn't happen.
Aw fuck.
Everything cool your nerd Star Wars friend ever told you that you never actually personally
witnessed, it's all gone.
Yeah.
And White Darth Vader is double-infinite.
You know, certain missions of Rogue Squadron are now non-cated.
Certain aspects, like Rudy's car, are no longer canon, however.
Well, I should show you this, but they have this character in Expanded Universe, which
is Darth Maul's brother, who's even more badass, but instead of red, he's yellow.
Sure.
And he looks fucking sick, and he just saw this huge polystone statue.
What about Darth Maul with the lower half robot body?
I don't like that Darth Maul.
Thank you, Darth Maul.
Well, guess what?
They're all gone.
God.
This has got to be the largest scale like fuck, this collective of work ever.
Fuck.
Because over years and decades of uncreation.
Because you made the joke that it might as well be fan fiction, but there's the really
famous example of when Conan Doyle stopped making Sherlock Holmes books, because Sherlock
Holmes fucking dies at the end of the Doyle run.
People just said fuck that, and started publishing new Sherlock Holmes fan fiction, and some of
those are great.
And by the same token, like after H.P. Lovecraft died, lots of people continued to make Cthulhu
mythos stories.
So the end of it is like Kyle Katarn will live on in my heart forever, and you can never
tell me that dark forces didn't happen.
Because if you go and you read the exact like PR thing they put out on their site, it's
so like, okay guys, so we've all had our run.
We had fun with these.
We had 40 years of bullshit.
It was a good time, but in order to focus on these things, we're now rebranding the
old things as legends.
And they're putting a big yellow bar over everything, and putting the word legends over
it.
To be fair, that's as nice as you could have done it.
It's the nicest you could have done great.
It's the ultimate, sure.
The ultimate send off before you take her out back and do her in.
Yeah.
Because it could have just been nothing.
That could have been like a lot meaner.
Not that they will ever re-print any of them.
The question is what are you going to do, not sell your stuff, you know?
No, what I was going to say is like how much of it's still in print that's actually going
to get the legends treatment.
The stuff that hasn't even made it to print yet.
Imagine the novels done, and it's in submission, and it's being produced right now.
You see that shit and you go, fuck.
Imagine your six different individual studios working on Star Wars games for specific platforms,
and they all get cancelled at the same time.
Now they're no longer canon.
Yeah.
That's a hard story to believe.
Yeah.
Go.
Again, at the end of the day, I think the fact that it gets rid of Star Killer makes it
all worth it.
Yeah.
Because I fucking hated Star Killer.
I hate Soul Calibur.
Namco's just like, fuck, we lost it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You already lost it, Namco.
I did enjoy the fact that he held his lightsaber backwards.
Yeah, you would.
You would.
So you enjoyed it?
See when it holds an umbrella backwards?
I always get that at the beginning.
But then after like ten seconds, I'm like, no, wait, that's stupid.
Because no, here's the thing is, I can't confirm this for sure.
But at the time, we felt like it was a bug.
Because some of the animations were normal.
They were normal, like moves swinging forward, but then it was just behind him, and then
they were like, eh, maybe someone thought it was a thing, whatever.
You know how last time we said, hey, let's not jump to conspiracy theory conclusions?
About Naughty Dog?
Maybe Naughty Dog is fine.
So this week, it goes from it's probably nothing to, okay, it's probably something.
So it's hard to now prove?
It's been one a week for like ten weeks.
It is becoming hard to not, even just in yourself, just kind of feel that like there's...
And it's main people.
You know, what do you want to call it?
Probable cause, reasonable doubt, you know, like whatever it is.
Industry has a high turnover rate, particularly at the start of the new generation.
But when your lead writer, your lead artist, your lead, like...
At the moment, very successful, critically acclaimed studio.
And as of this week, lead character artist, Michael Noland, just straight up, like there's no statement,
no anything, just a change to his LinkedIn status.
I'm sure he wasn't the only one.
I'm sure there's other guys who are smaller than that we haven't even heard of.
Isn't the biggest like a through line for this, the fact that everybody was working on Uncharted 4?
I don't think this guy was.
He was not on Uncharted 4.
Okay.
Because there's the narrative going around that everyone's just sick of Uncharted.
Right?
And I don't think that really helps a lot.
No, I don't think so.
Some type of shake up or change in direction, you know, must have occurred there
that made a lot of people at least morally outraged.
Or at the very least just weigh their options and be like, and not even morally outraged.
I think that's probably too far.
Just like, I don't know if I'm working here.
But 10 weeks in a row?
You know what I mean?
Like that's more than a couple.
We'll know when Uncharted and the next game come out and one of them has problems or they're both great.
Yeah.
At that point, we will know.
It still could be like you could, we could get 10 more departures and it could still be a coincidence.
But like every departure added becomes like more suspicious.
Yeah.
You know, maybe, maybe it's just as simple as like they're, they're fucking up something about the last of us as planning.
You know, like maybe it's, maybe it's just business.
It could be anything.
Because sometimes, sometimes you leave a game company when the boss that you liked that hatch it under control leaves.
So that's totally a plausible scenario.
Totally could happen.
I made really good product under the guidance of this guy.
This guy went somewhere else.
I think I'll see what's up.
Like there's a portion of this that could be like chain reaction.
Well, like Hennig's gone.
I loved working with A&E.
Right.
That's shit.
And one of the other things before that now seems to be probably not the case was like with Amy Hennig and with the Bungie musician.
Yeah.
It may have just been like, oh, well they wanted too much and their contract just.
Yeah, they've been around.
They, they got like, they have all this clout and they're a well-known name in the games business, which is not common.
No.
And they're trying to get more.
So everyone.
But now it does not.
So everyone now, yeah, now that seems way less like.
Everyone we, we, we made fun of and laughed at a week ago by going like, what the fuck's going on in Naughty Top?
Well, guess what?
Maybe something.
Maybe something.
First of all, maybe something.
Those people, including myself, were still jumping to the gun then.
Absolutely.
But now I think it has hit the tipping point of reasonable suspicion.
Yeah.
Because it's been like 10 weeks in a row.
It's just, it's not stopping.
We've been talking about people leaving Naughty Dog for forever.
It's been on the docket for many episodes now.
Yeah.
And the first few weeks were ridiculous.
When you have a resume that says I was the lead character designer on Last of Us and Wave the Warrior.
Mm-hmm.
Not killing.
Not killing.
I thought you can get more work.
You don't realize how long they've been around for, but they've been in the business.
Since Wave the Warrior.
Since fucking 87, man.
It's nuts, yeah.
Yeah.
No, the KV meter has been building right now.
The combo is keeping you eerily awake now.
A slew of indie games.
What's going to be the ender?
Yeah, absolutely.
Are they going to get rid of it?
I hope there's an ender.
Do you want to cash in that damage?
Geez.
Yeah, my favorite thing about all these people leaving various companies, not just this one,
is all the indie games we're going to get that are going to be great.
Who was it that ended up going to the unfinished swan guy?
That was the guy from last week.
Yeah.
He was a love guy.
That sums it.
He was a lead editor.
That was Nate Wells.
Nate Wells, yeah.
Our director.
Right.
Yeah, and he goes to, what's the name of the unfinished sparrow?
Something sparrow.
Something sparrow.
Because if you're listening, you're not.
We love you guys though.
But it makes sense for that guy to go from like super huge budget to like the fucking
visually weirdest design company that's there right now.
Well everyone's got friends in low places.
Right.
And the money's starting to be there too.
So it's not even a bad choice.
The same thing for like, and actors or directors that you make a tent pole movie, then you're
like okay, I don't want to do that again for a while.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And to make smaller shit.
But when you go and you join that team of 13 people again.
It probably feels pretty good after working on the assembly line for five, ten years.
You're like, what?
We can just chill.
I know everyone's names.
You know what I mean?
I don't have to have a fucking dispute with HR over my desk.
I can just go, hey, where'd my desk go?
Break my desk.
In the garage.
Yeah.
You never worked in an office, have you?
I literally never worked in an office.
Everything I say about office culture is me stealing things from office space.
No.
Wait, is that the right one?
The movie?
The office space?
With the printer.
Is that the one?
Yeah, office space.
The printer in every home.
Stapler, printer.
Yeah, there you go.
Everything.
Yeah.
Mike Judge.
I live in a fantasy world.
You do.
So the other bit, we already touched on a little bit.
Put it in.
A date out, base.
A date out.
Shut up.
No, don't punch me, Pat.
I wasn't actually trying to punch you.
You were.
Your short stubby arms couldn't do anything.
The reviews are coming in on Child of Light.
They're weird.
They're pretty good.
They're great, yeah.
With the exception.
There's a thought that Polygon review.
Of edge.
No, because Polygon gave it a 6.5.
Yeah, no, not the score, but the line that I read is the worst line ever.
Let's all make a disclaimer.
We haven't played the game yet.
We have not.
Haven't touched the game.
We know Polygon is completely right.
Maybe.
In shitting a lot.
Let's not say fuck things yet.
Let's wait until next week.
The line they used.
I just knew the language of which they used it was, I'm just review the fucking game.
I don't need to know about your goddamn life.
Well, who was the guy who did the point?
Is Edges, Edges might hold water.
I didn't look it right.
I didn't see Edges.
They gave it a 5 on time.
Yeah.
Edges, Edges are critical reviewers so far.
They're very critical reviewers so whatever.
For Polygons, I don't trust it because Robert from Z-Board Games reviewed Arthur Guy's
review and gave it a 3.5.
Based on the fact that his review got a lower review, I love Z-Board so much, I don't trust
the Polygon review because the Z-Board Game guy knows what a good review goes like when
he's in it.
Well, Polygons, when the fuck are we going to get Meta Metacritic?
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah, Meta Metacritic's a good thing.
Let's do it.
I would love.
We can do this.
If everyone could stay cool about it and not get upset, I would love to see a long-running
series of game creators reviewing the reviews of their games because they would have more.
Those would be not valid at all because of the incredible level of conflict of interest,
but it would be super interesting to see what parts got to them.
As much as I'd love us to do that, the people who made the games would be way better people.
You know what that series is?
That series already exists in a way.
It's those celebrities reading tweets about themselves.
Yes.
Yeah.
It's similar to that.
That's Drake dressing up like a weirdo and going and interviewing people on the street
about Drake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
No, I think that could be a thing.
But either way, beyond those two that we mentioned, generally positive reviews coming
in.
I gotta read those.
Because that always blows my mind when I look down the list and I go, 9, 9, 9, 5.
The takeaway bullet points on it seem to be, yes, like difficulty is near non-existent,
way accessible, still an RPG, but not the type of thing you thought of when you heard about
the concept.
Well, Mr. Boyd's, Mr. Robert's rather criticism of Arthegi's review was you should have fucking
played it on hard.
It's there for a reason.
Like, and then the immediate pushback is like the normal difficulty is supposed to be balanced
towards the average player, et cetera, to which the rebuttal to that is you're not an average
player.
You're not an average player.
You're a fucking game reviewer.
Exactly.
And that goes nowhere.
I have a deadline, asshole.
Like is that because like what you have when you have the game reviewer game, when you're
presented with hard mode, and hard mode is on the premise that you're good at games?
Hard mode has to be, so here's my problem.
Sometimes it's on the premise that you're playing through it for the second time.
Sure.
So the problem with this is that developers are bad at making difficult amounts, and that
hard mode in 90% of cases is the worst way to play the game because they balance it for
normal and they jacked up the health on all the enemies.
Well, it's tweaking the variables and not actually changing the game.
Not designing it.
And it's just like, yay, this sucks.
And so review a game on that for most games would be awful.
Now, not everybody is Platinum or early Capcom or FromSoft or whatever, right?
But like you can't, the hard mode needs to have language.
Well, you need hard mode.
Like BioShock 1 does it pretty good, or hard mode says I'm pretty good at shooters.
Human Revolution.
Human Revolution.
Yeah.
It was, give me a story, give me a challenge, give me a day of sex.
Exactly.
Like just contextualize it in a way that the player can understand what you're difficulty
from their first look at it.
I'm going to talk about Custom Hard on Thief, where you see what each thing is, each little
toggle, you set everything.
But I think about when that guy got caught playing on easy mode while reviewing a game
so he didn't see the proper ending.
Yeah.
And which game it was?
There was a game that got cut short because he finished it on easy.
Yeah, it was one of those things where there's four levels on easy and five or a lot of
other levels.
And the dude straight up gets called out.
And he slams like the bad ending.
Was it like culture four or something?
No.
Because I remember that they had that thing.
But it was something more recent than that.
It was IGN.
It was IGN, and the dude super like edited his shit afterwards.
And then he's like, no, we saw.
Yeah.
It was total bullshit.
So like, if that type of circumstance is like, okay, what are you even doing, that's not
a fair assessment.
I almost want to say it was 101, but I'm just butthurt because of IGN's non-parity with
their reviews.
Well, don't worry, though, they can reassess and change the numbers in the future.
Hold on.
We won those job offers.
Guys, we got to calm down.
IGN gave wonderful 1017.5, IGN Italy gave it a 9.5.
We got to calm down.
That's what's fucked.
That's what's fucked.
We got to relax because when we're trying to find work after the apocalypse and applying
to IGN and to Neo-IGN, they're going to be like, didn't you call me a bastard?
Maybe.
Yeah.
You'll have to listen to my podcast to find out.
That's already, that's already felt.
We got a tone.
We got a tone down.
We got a tone down.
No.
IGN is a personal gain.
I personally told an IGN guy to his face that he sucked.
Yeah.
And his reaction was just like, oh, yeah, his reaction was like, yeah, I'm not listening.
Yeah.
And just walked away.
And it's a guy I recognize is still working today.
I don't think anybody's going to begrudge us by saying that the modern game reviewing
climate is completely broken and fucked.
Probably 95%.
Don't worry though.
Liam and I have saved it behind the scenes.
Behind the scenes, we've saved it.
A little bit.
A little bit.
Saved that shit.
Yeah.
If game reviewers, if the game review business was in a good place, then the rise of the
YouTube game critic or whatever would not exist.
Exactly.
Like Angry Joe would not have a job if you could unequivocably trust game journalism.
But you can't.
And so even if, like, I was talking to you about this, like I watched Angry Joe's Elder
Scrolls Online review.
I don't like Angry Joe's reviews.
Me neither.
I think their kind of movie, and he's too much for me, but they're fucking useful because
he shows all the bullshit that I need to see.
Well, I was going to say Total Biscuits, what the fuck is, series?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like that's really looking at a game and breaking it apart and giving you a fair assessment
of what you're looking at as a product.
And it's something that really has to exist, unfortunately.
And it doesn't.
Like that's sort of, you know.
And in a extreme way, no, it doesn't.
And it kills me.
It's like, I'll take Angry Joe's show as a perfect example and say, I'm totally blasé
on his show.
But he is a necessary part of the ecosystem now.
And that's, I feel like that's unfortunate because you're not going to get it.
And I'm not trying to slam him, like it's great that he does it and he does it great.
But you're not, you're not going to get what you need from the outlets.
For me as a consumer to be like, oh, I got to do the thing that I don't even want to
do.
Yeah.
He basically served as a commuter.
Well, well, well.
Consumer?
Like, oh.
Basically the quote unquote trusted outlets are not giving you the full story.
Oh, yes.
Drop off.
It's great though.
It's just busted on so many levels.
It's busted in backwards.
Also, it's a game that's average will get good reviews because it's niche.
Just on the premise that it's niche and they're not always good at all.
And like, that's an even weirder situation.
But like that happens with some JRPGs where it's like, oh, this one will get a really
good score, but it's actually not good.
Yeah.
Because RPG gamers.
Oh, God, that was the one.
And when a game is made with people knowing that they have their 85 point metacritic bonus,
like you're going to see like a foe, what's the word I'm looking for?
You know, you like old, old Hollywood stands a standees or it looks all nice and then there's
nothing behind it.
Because if you're a reviewer playing through this, you'll be like, oh, yeah, wow.
And then the moment you scratch through the surface, there's no depth whatsoever.
Yeah, that's Bioshock Infinite.
You fucking get that happening for people to get their 85 out the gate.
My favorite one today was the Seven Minutes of Destiny footage where when you get into
combat, this amazing music starts playing in this cut up combat that obviously does
not play in the final game because it ends perfectly on the last note as the last bullet
is fired.
And like, man, they are, man, I can't wait to look forward to that amazing music and
future Bungie release.
Well, they're certainly proven promising, delivering on their promise that the music
is solid.
Fantastic.
They kept going on about it more so than the guy that left.
It's going to sit on the back of the Bungie box over six hours of amazing music.
Man, fuck this industry.
Yeah.
And when they're not, and when they're not, and when they're not writing broken reviews,
they're saying thanks for microtransactions.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let's go right in one of it.
Mike Bahi.
Okay.
So, Fahy Kotaku.
Try not to face palm at Kotaku this week has failed because all right, I didn't put
it under that.
But it is.
We can't not.
No.
So, Mike Fahy.
The exact article title there?
The exact article title, and I'm not, I'm going to click on the NeoGaff link.
He's not making this up, people.
Which, thanks for the...
I haven't, I haven't saved all my phone here.
Okay.
Because no, but I'm, because the NeoGaff link doesn't link to the article, so...
Here's the link.
Save that click.
I haven't.
Microtransactions coming to Garden Warfare this week.
Thank goodness.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Now, is there any chance that this article is some sort of satire or parody?
No, because Kotaku doesn't do satire or parody.
Let's quote, then, shall we?
Are we sure now?
Because now it just seems...
No, no one can put out this level of satire, this consistently.
Here, in his own words, if I focused on the game for a couple hours, I could probably
earn 40,000 or so.
These...
Those are the coins, man.
Yeah.
These coins are used to purchase sticker packs and so on and so forth, but...
Just upgrades for...
Yeah.
I've been playing the game on and off since launch, and I've unlocked four variant characters.
As of the recent Zomboss down-free expansion, there are 48, so yeah, I could use a little
help.
And there are other parts of that saying, like, when I was young, and I didn't have
a family, and I didn't have a full-time job, this would be easier.
And I can understand that perspective.
Right.
However, Liam's analogy is perfect.
The main issue here is he's identifying a problem that only exists because, in this
case, EA put it there.
They designed the problem.
The only reason it's so much of a pain to unlock everything is because they knew this
was going to happen.
So they essentially broke your leg and are selling you a crutch.
And you're like, oh, man, I could really use a crutch.
Yeah.
But I saw you break my leg.
Yeah.
But really, they're renting you the crutch.
They're not really selling it.
Well, they are.
Because it's consumable.
You're buying bits and pieces of a crutch you could find strewn along the ground as
you live.
Exactly.
Either way, like, you know, I was in the bath reading this article, because that's where
I read all my news about Mark Cerny and stuff like that.
When your body rejects it in rage, there's going to be minimal damage to your home.
And I saw it.
And I saw it.
And I always try to play Devil's Advocate.
Oh, yeah, you too.
I always do.
You cut to Liam at an arcade machine that says Devil's Advocate.
And he's like, oh, damn it.
And I saw it.
And all I could say was, fucking EA, fuck, why did you do this?
This is undefendable.
There's no...
This is undefendable.
I can't work so this.
He was like, oh, shit, I'm in so much trouble.
I'm the next podcast, because I can't fucking defend this shit.
There's nothing for me to work with.
This has been the buildup of Liam's, like, blind optimism and willing to defend things.
So when you get to the thing that he's just, he can't handle, then you know it's bad.
EA makes a fun game that reviews well.
It's less than $60.
It has free, good DLC.
It's good.
It's fun.
It's great.
And then they fucking add purpose.
Fucking microtransactions to it.
Why would you do this?
Like, Liam's standing outside the window like, give me something to work with.
There's also the far more sinister social engineering concept behind this,
in which how long ago did the game come out a month?
Maybe a month and a bit.
Okay, well, the reviewable version didn't ship with this.
Didn't have microtransactions.
So the reviews will not mention this.
Oh, fuck.
I'm so happy that my father decided to do this.
Now it's here, but now there will not be a huge outrage because the interest whoever's in is already in.
Yes.
Do you remember when they had another article about how Alone in the Dark lets you skip forward and backwards in the story?
Yes.
And how that's a great feature.
Yes.
And the guy was saying, look.
Perfect for reviewers.
He was like, I admit it.
I suck.
I have no skills.
Sometimes I got to skip apart.
Right.
Thank you for doing this.
And I'm just, I have to suck it up.
My egos, it doesn't care anymore, whatever.
I'm bald.
I'm going to be reviewing games.
But like with that tone, that tone is similar to this tone.
Except that one is honest, justifiable, and no one's hurt by it.
This one's only justifiable.
This one takes your money.
Like again and again.
Like in another context where the game shipped with them or something and it wasn't unlocking stuff in the game,
but it was like extraneous things.
Like if he had reviewed this game as it is now when it came out, would he be going,
it takes a long time to unlock everything, but thank God I can just buy it.
Well yeah, if you're playing a game.
Would that be the case?
Like if you're playing a game and you like buying a costume once in a while for the game,
sure.
But when the game ships with everything and then the microtransaction it up, like.
You know, I'm sorry to break K-Fabe here, right?
Do it.
I'm getting bored of these stories on the podcast.
Oh yeah?
Because it's so good.
The industry is evil?
Yeah.
It's so unbelievable.
Like there's no effort week after week.
It's not like all of these guys are looking for, because like if we were like an aggressive podcast,
like you were just talking about like Angry Joe for example.
Yeah.
If we were going out of our way to find things to shit on and be like whatever, and like you
go over the top, it'd be one thing.
Think how fucking Jim Sterling has to feel when every week he's gotta say,
I can't just do the last thing I did last week.
But I have to.
Because it's still happening.
Because that's the biggest outrage that's happened recently.
Like I'm getting bored.
I'm actually, I'm getting tired.
Like think of the Jim Sterling calendar where he just like writes down on a date, like this
is who I yell at the most.
Yeah.
It's like EA, EA, EA, Zynga, Zynga, EA, EA.
And he's like, what do I do this?
Oh EA did a thing again.
You know, whether it's the company making shit ass decisions or the fucking journalist
making shit ass articles, like I, this is the one-two punch as well.
Oh my god.
And it's happened exactly.
You're literally getting the game and the fucking journalism.
Here's the positive being garbage delivered to you.
Here's the positivity.
Direct to you.
Yeah.
Now here's the positivity, Woolly.
And here's where it gets good.
So you say you're tired of it.
However, lots of people are fucking tired of it.
And those people will instead go to podcasts like ours.
Where we are also tired of it.
I'm, I'm so fucked.
And they'll be bolstered by our, to our tiredness.
Yes.
And they get even more tired.
Exactly.
Like, like remember, remember three years ago or four years ago when Tales of Asperia
came out.
Yes.
Hey, you need some levels.
Scamco.
Yeah.
Hey, that was in case you need it.
And that was like, you'll see this kind of hidden.
And it was gross then.
It was gross then.
But when you get to actual games being made around this concept.
And then some people saying, eh, this is kind of useful.
It's like, now we're encouraging disgustingness.
Like my biggest issue here, besides the existence of what happened is, is that Mike Fahey chose
to write this instead of a really compelling piece about how this game was obviously designed
with this in mind from the get go.
This was obviously known to be coming in.
They know, they knew they were going to get good reviews and people were going to enjoy
it and they were going to generate a lot of good mind share upon release.
They knew this game was going to be a positive hit for them.
And they knew that they were going to put this in afterwards to mitigate that.
And there's a really compelling article there.
I saw people comparing, uh, Plants vs. Zombies Garden Warfare to fucking Titanfall
and saying that Plants vs. Zombies was the better game at release.
Yeah, exactly.
And now we're pulling this shit onto it.
And probably the most frustrating thing to me is that, like, I see this and I go,
but why?
The two most successful money-wise free-to-play games that currently exist are also the most
beloved.
It's League of Legends and Dota.
Everybody loves those games.
They're non-abusive.
No, they're business sports.
They're not predatory.
You want a little hat for you dude, buy a $2 little hat for you dude.
That's it.
But the rest of the game is free.
The Garden Warfare were free alongside this.
It'd be okay.
I like Garden Warfare.
40 bucks.
40 bucks.
It launched at 40.
Now, I would need to double check, but like, I'm pretty sure that, uh, this is the same
website that put out an article that was like, don't play Final Fantasy All the Bravest.
Or if there's one reason to play, it's the flavor text.
Beyond that, don't do it.
You've spent $46 in that purchase.
But at the same time, that was just a terrible game all around.
But it's the same idea.
Only two idiots would buy it.
Sure.
These two motherfuckers bought it.
There was no reviews and it came out.
We bought it the minute it came out.
That was corporate culture.
Yeah.
Just seeping into your brain.
Sure.
But it was funny because we sat there and we played it for a half hour.
Well, that was funny.
Was it even that?
That was hilarious.
Yeah.
So yeah, the industry's bad.
But you better watch your dick because they're trying to grab it.
Let's jump out.
There are some shining examples in the press.
I think that Giant Bomb is fantastic.
I hear Rock, Paper, Shotgun's good, but never go there.
Oligon has really good editorials, but not much else.
Just go fucking talk to the Treehouse again.
See if you can get anything from them.
Just do it again.
You know what's even worse is when this stuff is misreporting to make it seem worse than
it is.
In the example of when IGN said Killer Instinct is totally free to play.
Yeah.
When it never was.
Yeah.
And last week on Twitter, I said, oh, Killer Instinct, I'm enjoying something in Killer Instinct
and the guy goes, oh, I thought you hated free to play.
I'm like, I can't believe.
It's still out there.
Six months later.
Yeah.
Because of shitty bad reporting.
Did we even talk about on the podcast how Ubisoft gave all those reviewers tablets?
Oh.
Oh.
And then took them back.
Yeah.
When they got caught.
That's like those bags.
Me and you had a joke about that on one of the parts of Resident Evil 4.
Part 1 of Resident Evil 4, we joked about that.
And they were talking like, this business is fucked.
Their apology was to clarify, was an apology was to clarify the situation.
We gave it to them so they could play the minigames and use tablets.
That's why we give them the newest, most expensive tablets we can get.
And surely you remember Microsoft giving away Xbox 360 elites.
Not elites, but the Slim ones at E3, which was just another.
There's a line there.
Yeah.
And the line is free tablets.
Yes.
Right?
Like, I don't know where the.
That was Microsoft.
I don't know where the line is.
Well, I think we can all agree that free tablets for a minigame is way over.
Where's my free tablet?
It was pretty bad.
Where's my free tablet?
Remember that?
See, the problem with that is you only get the free tablet and then that doesn't, you're
actually going to like slam watch dogs when it comes out.
If it's bad, which is looking like it might be.
Here's your EA's greed thing for Dante's Inferno, where they gave you like a blank check and
you could put up to a certain amount on it or something.
I remember that.
Yeah.
That one was bad.
Wait, wait, wait.
What was that?
They went through all the deadly sins, right?
Of course.
Greed was one of them.
You could do a blank check and you could put up to a certain amount on it.
And I remember a couple of journalists, I think one of the Kotaku journalists.
How greedy are you?
Gave it to charity.
Just straight up.
Wait, but like it was a check you could literally cash.
Yes.
It was a real check.
And it was up to a certain amount you could write on or something like that.
Oh my God.
Oh no, the name was left blank.
That's what it was.
It was for a couple of bucks or something.
And it was greedy.
Oh, are you greedy?
Oh.
You like our 300 bucks?
Wow.
We'll send you some review code of Dante's Inferno if you take our money.
It's not good.
Hey man.
Six.
Indies.
Sure.
Indie Games came out of the bloated AAA industry and Indie Coverage, I'm pointing at the room
now.
Yeah.
The viewer can't.
It has also been growing due to the bloated AAA review.
It's too bad it's going to explode in the next year like Peter told us.
Well, before it does, you'll be able to play sports friends.
Yeah.
Have you guys seen this shit?
Because we're playing it.
Sports friends is going to happen.
You're ready for Barry Barry Ball and J.S. Joust?
I think I saw sports friends but I can't quite remember.
It's been around for a while.
So it's a compilation of Indie Games coming out together.
What a good name.
The standouts.
The standouts are Barry Barry Ball and J.S. Joust.
You and Sebastian Joust.
Oh no.
That is the game that we're going to play.
You have to tilt the person's motion.
You're thinking of Johann Sebastian Joust.
Yeah.
My brain always finishes it as Bach.
No.
Is that the guy?
Yeah.
Johann Sebastian Joust.
Yes.
So you're both holding a PlayStation move and you have to make the other guys shit.
More importantly, you have to keep yours 100% still.
Exactly.
Yes.
And somehow tilt the other person.
So just pretend that you're Jonathan holding the wine glass.
Yeah.
And you'll be fine.
Literally fight.
But yeah, it always turns into like slap fights and shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because what else?
And then the other game, Barry Barry Ball, is just a great two on two.
Competitive ball game.
Competitive ball game with like smash controls in a way.
A bit.
It's like 2D platforming.
You have a double jump and like you basically have to get the ball onto their half.
The Barry Barry Ball.
Your half of the screen and have it sink to the bottom for points.
Okay.
And you just do all kinds of aerial maneuvers and shit, stealing the ball, fun shit, whatever.
Sounds good.
Yeah.
It is.
It looks great.
Did the check clear?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, you know, it was a blank.
We'll see you later.
We'll see you later.
Thanks, JS.
Yeah, no.
And there was a video of a giant bomb guys playing it with Lang.
Yeah.
And stuff.
And like, that's what really sold me on it.
Yeah, it was a really fun video.
No, I'm looking forward to that.
I played Barry Barry Ball last year and it's really fun.
The problem is that you're not going to be able to play with Dave Lang.
Okay.
No, we're not.
We're not like, every time you see a gameplay, don't get Dave Lang or get shown a gameplay
or play somebody.
You're like, fuck, my friends are all waiting for Dave Lang.
I'm never going to be able to recreate my dive kick experience with Dave Lang.
That was like the perfect way to play the game.
You always win.
Yeah.
It's super good.
You're still smelling your fingers.
You're doing it right now.
I was doing it.
Also, I guess, can you believe they're putting Johnny Gatt in the fucking dive kick?
I'm so happy.
What a weird draft.
Oh man.
What is this game?
Can't get any dumber.
What is that pole?
Johnny Gatt's dead.
No, you know what the pole is?
Deep silver.
I believe the pole is a guy on Twitter.
Messaged Keats and Lang since you should put Johnny Gatt in dive kick.
And they said, let's see what we can do.
I believe that's the entire process.
Fuck.
Because it's dive kick.
Yeah.
The whole premise is you should do this dumb thing.
You're right.
We should do this dumb thing.
Now Keats is going to listen to this and the next patch will remove Zoo Pass.
Oh man.
Well, they're like, if that fucking guy can get in from whatever that shitty YouTube thing
is, why can't our guy get in?
Yeah, it's super nice.
Hey, we're still better than Mr. N. Are we?
No, not anymore.
Really?
We're under that.
Now he's normal kick.
I know, I know.
I know the change, but that's just not true at all.
I'll make it work.
It's a rough time.
When is it a rough time for the pass?
You know what isn't a rough time?
I don't think.
Maybe it'll be a good time.
Kato Kawa buying from software.
This is the greatest.
I think that everybody's reaction of is the most premature.
Here's the deal.
Here.
Let's all remember I am the person to do that exact kind of thing.
Yeah.
I am the person to freak out and overreact.
And I did that earlier or last year.
About Sega buying Atlas.
Yeah.
Now Sega is way more evil and more incompetent than Kato Kawa is.
So that worked out fine.
So this probably worked out fine.
Maybe that's flawed logic.
I predict nothing happens.
I predict nothing.
A lot of people don't even know who Kato Kawa is.
I barely know.
So Kato Kawa is a Japanese publisher that published manga and they've branched out.
Did they just put out Demon Gaze?
Yes.
Demon Gaze was one of their games that they published.
They put out that PS4 RPG that was their near launch.
I can't remember his name right now.
They also co-published Lollipop Chainsaw.
And I think Killer is dead?
I think they helped.
Yeah, Killer is dead.
I think they helped develop Killer is dead.
Yeah.
And they published Lollipop Chainsaw.
I think they're publishing Mad Max in Japan.
They were definitely involved with Shooter 51 stuff.
Their whole thing is doing core games, generally.
There's a few exceptions.
But they're doing Rodea and the Sky Soldier, if that ever comes out as well.
Oh jeez, it will never.
They're good guys.
I think it's people, especially now with Dark Souls 2 coming up,
people don't like the idea of from software being owned by anyone.
I believe they sell.
If they were up for sale, why didn't Namco fucking bought them?
Oh wait, it's because Namco's stupid.
You mean Bandai Namco?
Namco.
Well, that's what I was going to say.
Like, from wouldn't agree to something they don't agree with.
Yeah.
Like, you know.
Okay, I might just be totally stupid and wrong.
Despite whatever you say, these words still remain true.
But I feel like with way less of a budget,
from could still make an amazing Souls title.
You mean like Demon's Souls?
You mean like every game they made before the Souls series?
Well, Dark Souls 2 is their first expensive game.
Because fucking Ace Combat dude is,
I'm sorry, Armored Core.
Armored Core, sorry.
Again, buying all their Mechagames.
Those are not cheap, man.
Come on.
They are when you keep re-releasing the same game with expansions.
There was an Armored Core that wasn't even named by them.
I don't know about that.
I think Armored Core is pretty cheap to make.
We have no numbers.
It's just Mecha Shapes.
They just animate like this.
And fighting games are just eight models jumping around.
No, that's different.
You know it.
The technical and presentation aspects of an Armored Core game,
particularly in the recent years, has not been expected.
I bet Ninja Blade was probably expensive.
Yes, compared to Armored Core.
You know what?
We have no numbers.
We have no numbers.
I just got my eyeballs.
But my statement, I think that with like half the budget,
they could probably still make an Armored Core game.
Sure, sure.
They just need to make another of their older games.
Any of them.
Any of them.
Catacow apparently doesn't publish out here.
No.
So Bandai Namco will likely still publish any future Souls games.
Are you sure Catacow is going to push for that?
Because every company should rightfully be pushing for globalization?
Yeah.
Like Monsanto.
Like DemonGaze.
Yeah, exactly like Monsanto.
Yeah, they're really ahead of the game.
They're a little too ahead of the game.
Like DemonGaze, yeah.
If you want it, you published it.
But Catacow is Logo's second.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's probably nothing.
No, you know what turned out to be something?
That rumor.
That rumor about the ET cartridges.
Yeah.
That is super not a rumor.
It's real.
So there are parts of me that like, I remember hearing about this and I'm over the belief
that no matter whether or not they were buried there, they were going to find them.
But it seems like they actually found them because they found a lot of them.
Like too many to fake.
Oh, right.
What I was going to say was, did any of you guys not believe it?
I always believed that.
No, that's a weird story because even though everyone knows it happened, it still became
myth because nothing was ever, ever confirmed.
Yeah.
To me, it sounded like...
I always totally believed it.
It sounded urban legend-y.
Because the deal is, is everyone who was around in that period is dead.
No.
Has been murdered.
The guy that programmed ET, he went to the movie set and he's like, oh, this is a really
great spin you did on the story about this crazy rumor.
But he was there at the Microsoft thing too.
But basically...
Oh, yeah.
The guy who was around who had no stake in Atari's company said, oh, yeah, we fucking
dumped him in a landfill, right?
But every time you would try and get an official statement or find out what landfill or actually
get eyes on it, you were never able to because it was so humiliating to the company.
It's such a black mark.
And the Atari that you talk to now has nothing to do with that old Atari.
And so this one is info for us.
The shit gets buried and no one actually saw it or was able to confirm where it was.
So it's this story that gets told and told and told, but then you look it up and you
can't find any actual proof and then it becomes legend.
But now they found the fucking things.
And Major Nelson's holding that first undusted copy, like excavated 30 years later.
There is an obvious joke to make about Larry Herb holding a piece of video game equipment
in the middle of a landfill.
You'll get banned from making that joke.
You'll all get banned from making that joke.
Yeah, no, it's part of their, what, they're, they're making it, it's a short story.
Yeah, it's a little short that they're putting together.
Yeah, it's a documentary thing about like, did E.T. really get buried in a fucking landfill?
Yes.
Yeah, I'm actually going to want to come over and watch that, man.
And also not just E.T. because they found a copy of Centipede right next to it.
Oh, I'm thinking of SwordQuest.
Yeah, SwordQuest is the other big thing Atari did where they had this big expensive contest
where people won, like, jewels and crowns that were real and swords.
And three of the games were released and the other one didn't.
And then someone said some asshole who bought Atari, like in the late 80s.
Just kept all the shit.
Kept all the cool jewels and shit.
And people said there's unidentified claims that people's seen that shit above his fireplace.
And he's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's mine now.
Art stolen during the war.
Yeah, the monument's men's shit.
During the crash, it was very chaotic.
Anybody could get rid of it.
Yeah.
So no, that was a shock to me.
I definitely was.
Very cool, though, for sure.
Yeah.
Although I've got to...
How did they pinpoint the exact location?
Well, it's important to remember it's a landfill.
It's not a, like, middle of desert.
There are designated landfill zones.
But the story I was told was middle of the desert.
Okay, well, that was always wrong, because it was always known to be in a landfill.
And like, landfills are designated zones where they put, you know, big surfaces under it
so it doesn't seep into the...
Or at least you're supposed to.
You're supposed to, exactly.
So if you search all the landfills, and where is it?
Not Colorado.
Where was it?
Nevada.
Anyway, Nevada.
Oh, that's why you heard that it was in the fucking desert.
Yeah, that's true.
Yeah.
And, you know, like, in my head, I'm just picturing fucking Jesse Pickman and Walter White out
in the middle at night, digging and digging, and that's how I thought this went down.
Right, right.
I bet you Game Chillers was halfway through editing a pop fiction episode about this,
and then went, aw, shit.
And to anyone who has no idea what the fuck we're talking about, look up the video game
Crash of the 80s and Atari and E.T.
Yeah, it's a great good story.
That game was the superman's 64 of its day.
It was worse than that.
Yeah.
That's the argument to have, isn't it?
Did you see that?
Did you see that?
Is E.T. worse than Superman 64?
Did you see that P4R article about gamers enjoying Superman 64 after finding out it had 110 review
from back in the day?
That's right.
That's right.
That's right.
I was going to say earlier...
It's guys.
What are we going to hear?
What are we going to do?
Right?
A check cashed.
Yeah, I was going to say earlier, yeah, like, when we're talking about the state of the
industry, like, P4R doesn't even have to try anymore.
No, no, no.
They can just start reporting the news.
They can just be in shit news to source, and it'll be the same shit.
Yeah.
Some of the writers are like a bit slanted, but 90% of this stuff is awesome.
No, man.
Games, games back then were fucking weird, and like...
Back in the Atari days.
Back in the Atari days.
Yeah, I was not even a fetus.
So, yeah.
But what do you think games would have been like in the Meiji era?
What about...
Turnabout.
Turnabout.
You are, you are, you are like fighting for these puns.
Help me.
No.
Well, this is, this is some great news.
You could say that a great attorney might help us get to the bottom of this.
An ace attorney, perhaps.
Ah.
Yeah, so what's his English name going to be?
We don't even know yet.
Oh, whatever.
He's going to be in America.
And we live in America.
And we live in America.
It's, it's new.
Right up going to be Phoenix Wright.
New...
Because...
Phoenix Wright game now.
Phoenix is Naruto something.
Naruto...
Which is like three letters away from his current name.
Yeah.
But, but it's Wright, regardless.
Yeah.
The last name.
Um, Joy Your Burger.
Watch it, watch it.
Why do I get that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Watch it be in the American version.
They just have a cutscene at the very end where it's a dream that Phoenix had.
No.
Oh.
Fuck that.
We're way past that era.
Hate that.
Rice balls are not being turned into hot dogs anymore.
Donuts.
Jelly donuts.
That's a jelly donut.
They still kind of do it.
And, and dual destinies, they still have stuff like that.
Phoenix Wright was the, is the main culprit in his history.
You know what?
Fucking Atlas has fooled me because Atlas doesn't do that shit anymore, but everybody
else still does.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
I know.
This is not an attorney.
It is their, it's not a sequel.
It's a spin off series.
It's like Yakuza Incheon.
That's basically telling you how Phoenix Wright and the Magians,
Yakuza Incheon's a really good pile ofGreatAbout,
Maybe the legal system will make more sense in the past.
Yeah.
Than it does in the current day.
In the future, which is like a fucking 3 days until you get pitch, you better prove
that shit,
Yeah.
But in the Magii era, I'm way more willing to believe that kind of system.
Yeah.
They have swords on their belts.
Shit, yeah.
They're just standing behind you with the drawn blade.
Yeah.
Ready to execute both of you.
The only thing that worries me is that the two or three character designs they have,
like they're very nice, but in the sense that like the thing about Phoenix Wright is
seeing all these kooky characters dressed all these crazy ways, there's only a certain
amount that you can draw that fits into the time period.
Oh, you can go weird.
You can go weird, but everyone's still going to be wearing kimonos.
Just that Raito Kuznawa show off.
I think we'll be surprised, because if you look at Phoenix and Maya and all the main
character and assistants, they all look pretty well dressed.
Yeah.
I just kind of feel that it sort of limits the amount of things you could possibly find.
I'm sure there'll be a guy that's a fucking tengu, and there's a guy that's a...
They already had that in Duel of Deaths.
I know.
I know.
I'm just glad he got to make something different, although I wish he could have gone as far
as go to...
Boy, is this one never coming out here.
Well, no.
Shit, no.
It's good of, but it's...
We still don't have Phoenix Wright versus Layton, and that's out in Europe.
It's gonna come, but it shouldn't.
Isn't that actually out here?
Am I mistaken?
No.
It's out here.
Well, it's coming out this year.
It's confirmed.
It's actually confirmed.
If we get anything that's not Japanese name Wright, it's gonna be the stupidest shit.
The utterly stupidest shit.
Well, guess what?
Get ready for the stupidest shit.
How do you get around that?
It's gonna be great.
How do you fucking get around that?
Shut up.
Eat your breakfast.
Timey Chinatown.
The Old West.
A time when lawyers.
Like, what?
Lawyers work.
And Wright.
Just badly photoshopped cowboy hats.
And she's got like tassels all over her pants.
Put a little wig on the judge.
Yeah.
Anyway, I'm still excited overall, because it's a new ace attorney.
Yeah, absolutely.
I don't know why I didn't finish five.
I don't know why you didn't.
It's so good.
Why am I not?
It's really good.
You can just finish it.
I don't know.
I can't believe you're not done.
I'm skipping.
No, you have shitty animated watch.
Never mind.
It's true.
Yeah, you got a full schedule.
You say that, but it's true.
I didn't say that.
Go force yourself to digest Chunee.
That'll be great.
Is that a creepy sex thing?
Almost.
No, almost.
I don't know why I didn't finish five.
I don't know why you didn't.
It's so good.
It's really good.
You can just finish it.
I gotta finish VLR too.
Damn right.
I can't believe you're not done.
I'm skipping.
Almost.
Whatever, man.
I need to know.
You get back to us on that shit.
You know my binge habits.
You all make the progress.
The reason we need to know.
I already told you it's all right.
But that's why I need to know.
Because I need to see the contrast.
Because Liam, I'm not you.
I know.
So when we agree on something, that's special.
I can't plot a graph yet.
I just have a single point of data.
Other news this week.
Nintendo will do whatever the fuck it wants.
In order to survive.
Shocking.
Shocking.
More news at 11.
Everyone put our games on shitty controlling cell phones.
Every one of these Awada statements as they come is more and more intense.
It's like, but here's the thing though.
It's strength while also being apologetic.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's very determined.
Aggressive politeness.
In saying that we will change for the better.
It is the passive aggressive way to apologize for your trouble.
That actually means get the fuck out of my office.
Now this one in particular was really intense.
Don't tell me to work on what I'm already working on.
Yeah.
You think I'm doing something?
I'm doing something.
You'll see it maybe this year.
Nope.
This one was particularly intense because he straight up calls on the old gods.
What?
Yeah, he does.
Awada is like, I was thinking about the statement that Yemoichi made before he died.
And you can't say shit now because then you're an asshole.
No, because Yemoichi's ghost will come out of somewhere and choke you.
And still with the shades on.
Yeah.
And Yemoichi before he died.
What a crazy old bastard that guy was.
He's amazing.
He's like the Japanese Mr. Bird.
Oh yeah.
Anyway.
But feeling on way more asses though.
I love bird.
Yemoichi before he died, he said Nintendo must always focus on being an entertainment company.
Yeah, of course.
Right?
So Iwata was talking about how he would like stay up at night thinking about what that meant.
Of course.
What is that?
What is entertainment?
I know it's open love hotels worldwide.
I'd fucking go to those.
Me too.
Have my girl dress up as Samus?
No, that's not what a love hotel is.
Yeah, it is.
Is it okay?
I thought, well you'll find out.
The question is like, is it okay to branch out in directions that don't apparently seem to be like entertainment?
Yeah.
And the way though the conclusion he came to was it's fine as long as it's improving someone's quality of life.
Because he's interpreting entertainment as the secondary need after your basic survival needs are made.
Well, I mean, hey, if I'm enjoying what I'm doing, yeah.
So I don't care that I haven't eaten all day.
First comes survival and then second comes entertainment.
And entertainment, he's again taking that definition of it as straight up quality of life.
Is he painting like Nintendo as the path to self actualization?
Yeah.
He is literally going investors.
Yamauchi's died and I'm following his words.
So give me a minute to make it work.
He's saying all that.
He lives on in my heart and on my back.
You can take all that cryptic stuff.
I am not him.
You can take all that cryptic stuff but all it results in is Nintendo's first season pass from Mario Golf.
That golden Mario statue was the kicker.
That's all it did.
Don't trivialize Yamauchi's final words.
Yeah, but that's the only thing that happened.
No, here's the deal though.
Iwata has to fucking do something or else he's trivializing Yamauchi's final words.
Well, look, he's got to fucking do a thing.
But if the next statement comes out and it's like, I had dinner with Gunpei.
And he said to me like, before I had him killed.
You know, if you start pulling out those fucking guns, you've got problems.
How about you make sure to localize that announced Wii U new fatal frame and that's a good stuff.
Yeah, I'll say it Nintendo.
Well, it's a nice, it's a nice, it's a nice stuff.
Yeah, I know, I know.
You can do, okay, here's the game you can play.
You can add that sentence to any course of action Nintendo can take right now.
We can take the baby step, you know, and that'll do a thing.
But more importantly, you can add a passive console decision.
Nintendo's going to localize everything though.
Yeah.
Dude, they did Tomodachi Life.
Yeah, you got a point.
That's a very compelling argument.
But it's like, Nintendo's in the weirdest place.
Like, you could say, yeah, they're going to chop 100 bucks off the console and add three extra games.
And there's going to be 10 games by the end of the year.
And like, it's still go, you know, it'll save Nintendo.
It'll be fine.
They're coasting on handouts.
Well, are they?
For now.
For now.
Sure.
Software sales are still great.
Next time, maybe not.
I almost forgot that like the crux of the story, the most important part was the main sentence, the headline.
Iwata says that Nintendo needs to redefine what it, it needs to redefine its direction.
And that might not necessarily mean games.
You sure?
Whatever it takes.
I don't like the sound of that.
Just release more games.
Well, remember like, as me personally.
As Matt.
As just a consumer.
No, as Matt.
Just release more games.
I remember when they were working on the finger.
Vitality sensor.
Vitality sensor, right?
What's that?
That's more of a quality of life thing.
That's not really a video game.
That shit got kicked because it didn't work for everyone.
Yeah.
The vitality sensor?
Yeah.
What was that going to be?
It was supposed to be.
What was that inequality of life thing?
Something that leans more towards Wii Fit?
No, no.
But what?
So you could check your heartbeat?
That has way more game applications than just checking your heartbeat.
Because all it could do was check your heartbeat.
Yeah.
But things like that and things like the Wii Fit balance board and everything that's like
not directly a game peripheral leans more towards something that's beyond games, not
the white hitting.
But they already did that stuff.
So what is he talking about?
Maybe they want to do it more.
No, yeah, that'll save Nintendo.
Amazing.
Let's not say that.
But like Sony's, the words are coming out of his mouth.
Sony's got insurance, Konami has its gyms, Nintendo will have what a fucking energy drink.
Look, look, look, look.
Love hotels, yeah.
Love hotels will save Nintendo.
All to put it in Mario.
Liam, if it's not something that we could say, if we're looking at Nintendo's past moves,
the balance board and the vitality sensor are the things that sound the most like what
he's talking about today.
And if we're not going to look at what they've done in the past, what else do we have as
a reference point?
The reason I don't even want to say the vitality sensor is one, we never saw it do anything.
We know it was only heartbeat tracking, and there's so many game applications to that
versus like what?
It's just going to track your heartbeat.
Like that's not such a quality of life product that I'd be like definitely 2-0-L.
I think it was just moving that in like thinking outside the box.
We are biometric nonsense.
Yeah.
They're trying shit out that's very non-traditional.
And when I think of game applications, I'm like, okay, scary games.
Yeah.
What else you got?
Scary games.
What do you need?
When you say game applications, you said so many game applications.
Yeah.
Whatever Nintendo games.
Hey.
Nintendo.
You don't know my quality of life?
Yeah.
Solid release date for Band-Aid 2.
Sure.
You say as Pat.
Like you just said as Matt.
But the company.
Not like...
Yeah, I don't care.
Not the small niche release.
Okay.
Well, just let's stop this argument.
Because when he gets into, no, I don't care mode.
It's not going to go anywhere.
Oh, it's true.
It's true.
I'm being an asshole.
Wow.
But yes, release.
Like, what are they going to do?
They're going to make gems?
Like, but I'm just saying from here on out, you know what would say if the company release
X-Game?
Like, no, that's not going to fly.
No, I didn't say it would help the company.
I said it would improve my quality of life.
Okay.
Fair enough.
And I didn't even say release it.
I just wanted to know when it's coming out.
Sure.
But until they actually say what the fuck that quality of life shit they're talking about,
I mean, I think it's obvious that they're talking about something more substantial.
Long, very long term, I think, too.
Yeah, and something a lot more substantial than a Vitality Sensor or a Wii Fit.
They're bringing back the cards.
They're bringing back the cards.
A wearable DS.
Put it on your watch.
A power pad.
Of course, exactly.
No, but it's...
Power glove, too.
Probably just something purely software based.
Real Pokemon.
Real Pokemon.
That's just compelling in that way.
Sex robot.
I don't know.
Something compelling in that way.
Sex robot that looks like Rosalina.
Life confirmed to be good.
If anyone can do it, it's Nintendo.
We've teamed up with Wappy Dog, and we're making a Pikachu that moves like an I-Boat.
Man, my Wappy Dog fell off my table the other day, and I, like, felt really bad.
Why?
It's just the stupid Wappy Dog.
I know.
You haven't even played with it.
I haven't even played with it.
I know heaven.
This Wappy Dog shit is getting really meta.
I don't know.
We've got one now.
I know.
You want release dates?
I can give you release dates, Pat.
Yeah, I mean, the release date.
2015 is the release date of Mad Max.
It got bumps.
No, it's not.
I seriously doubt that game's going to make 2015.
Well, as of today.
How many times does this game have to get bumped and completely remade from scratch?
Because it needs to be out when the movie is out.
That's why.
Did you see the trailer?
No.
The first trailer?
No, the new trailer.
Car combat.
Lots of car combat.
I guess.
Okay, well, it looks good.
Do you like Mad Max and the Apocalyptic Future sponsored by West Coast Customs?
Wait, what?
Maybe?
No?
No one?
West Coast Customs built his car.
Okay, that's it.
And the gamer of the movie.
So, in real life, in the trailer, you can watch the different add-ons.
I don't want to waste the fucking money.
You can show all the add-ons to the car, the weapons, and the shit that you attach.
A lot of stuff.
And as you're deck-tricking out your car, it's showing you that you're not going to have
a good season.
Yeah, no, no, no.
Like, these blade wheel spinners are provided by West Coast Customs.
Everything you're saying is the same thing as a claim saying name your son Turok or put
Turok on your gravestone.
Or whatever the fuck, dumb waste of time.
Name your son Turok, put Shadow Man on your grave.
No, name your son Shadow Man and kill your son.
Then we'll give you a pre-release copy of Turok.
$47.
Yep.
Yep.
We've got it going already.
Games are expensive, though, man.
They are, for sure.
And Mad Max is like...
Nobody can hear me rolling my eyes right now.
And Mad Max is an IP that, you know, needs as much commercial support.
Everything about this game's lead-up has been the most downer shit possible.
Okay, first of all, when me and Pat...
Hey, but you know what?
Maybe the gameplay will be fun.
Sure, it will be fun.
But it's like the huge delay and like this...
Anyway, when me and Pat fucking went to E3, the biggest, most giant, expensive banner
of all was for Mad Max a game that was not at E3.
Yeah.
And was not at the...
And is not coming out the year after, and not coming out the year after that.
Well, now we know how they're making up the money for that banner.
God.
You got a point.
Also, speaking of delays, you see that there is like a thing.
I'm not sure if you have this on the docket, but there was like a new trailer for Batman
Arkham Knight at WonderCon.
And then people were like, oh, there's rumors that Batman Arkham Knight's not coming out.
I got nothing else to say about Batman.
Yeah, anyway.
And then some guy says, by the way, we're doing Injustice 2.
Yeah, Injustice 2's coming out.
Yeah.
And then no one cared.
No one cared for Mad Max.
No one cared because no one heard it.
Yeah, because everyone was going nuts over Arkham Knight.
Arkham Knight.
And like, he said it during the pop.
Why is it called Injustice 2?
Just call it Batman 1.
Why?
Why?
Because no one...
Like, all they cared about is Batman.
That's true.
The majority of Injustice's cast was Batman characters.
Don't call it Injustice 2.
Call it Batman the Fighter's 1.
Batman the Fighter's...
Just drop the Injustice name.
You know who's friends with Batman?
Superman, I guess.
Oh, my God.
Did you hear that, too?
I want to call it Batman Edition.
Today, Zack Snyder now confirmed to be double-filming the Justice League movie right after Batman
vs. Superman.
Also, we were corrected.
Zack Snyder did direct Man of Steel.
No one produced.
Great.
No one produced.
No one produced.
Anyway, so you see going hard for that Snyder all over the place now.
You know what?
The contract's probably already been written for two years.
You know what, though?
He's becoming a household name in the front.
With huge terrible movies in the front houses.
That people love because God bless America.
Do they?
Yes.
Because God bless America.
Yes.
You always hear that.
It's like Michael Bay with the Transformers.
People love it.
I guess.
Man of Steel is the most ridiculous, absurdly patriotic American movie.
But it's not an alien.
It's absurd.
It's more patriotic than fucking Captain America.
No, it is.
And that's why it's so absurd.
Not to mention Christian.
Superman's protecting America.
Yeah.
It is so weirdly slanted.
It's a weird movie.
Speaking of which, Captain America was number one for three weeks before being defeated
by the mighty aging mummy that is Cameron Diaz.
Do you remember us talking about this?
There is a trailer where I think we talked about and said everyone kind of heard of this
trailer, but no one could finish the first 10 seconds of the trailer because it's like
Cameron Diaz is kind of a prostitute who's dating this guy, but he's dating a hotter
woman and he's also double timing her with a hotter woman.
And they all team up and not make out.
And they all don't make out.
So this movie beat Captain America.
Cameron Diaz is the stapler.
Pretty much.
And that also cements Winter Soldier as the third highest grossing Marvel movie they've
made yet.
It's pretty good.
I saw that.
It's good.
Face two, man.
Face two.
Did you guys overhype that hell hydra thing?
No, we didn't.
You overhyped it.
We underhyped it.
We didn't tell you what it was from.
They super underhyped it.
What context did we want?
Just like what the fuck are they talking about?
Yeah.
And now we know.
We didn't explain it at all.
I felt totally underwhelmed.
Like, oh, they said, oh.
But that wasn't why we did it.
That wasn't why it was the funniest thing.
Now that you've both seen it, the reason why...
We'll tell you after.
No, no.
You say it because you said it.
It's funny.
So at the end of the movie, they go in and hug, you know, Captain America and what's
her face.
Black widow.
And like, I was just, I whispered to Matt in the theater as they hugged hell hydra.
As though she said it at the end of the movie.
So the idea that the last bit of plot twist is of magic.
Black widow said hell hydra and it doesn't matter what Steve does.
He could be shocked or be like, yeah.
And it'd still be awesome.
Yeah, it's pretty good.
It would have been the best twist.
So when Liam said that to me, we lost our shit in the theater.
I was like, you know, the one where we saw the Expendables and you said, when the girl
is getting waterboarded, oh, I'm so thirsty.
And I just laughed into my shirt for the remainder of the movie I did.
Yeah, fuck you.
You must have spent like two minutes trying to not laugh.
So hard.
It was too good.
Anyway, Pat, the next time you have doubts about how much people like Snyder or whatever,
like Hollywood today, I'll just read you the grown-ups numbers.
Yeah, you're right.
And then we'll be done.
How deeply, deeply depressed.
Can we not do that?
Nope.
All right.
We can take a word from our sponsors though.
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Did you see what you saw the stuff I was talking about, right?
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It was open and we were looking at it.
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So Loot Crate actually sent a box for us to check out over here.
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It had a little Dragon board, Fusero Da, like what was that?
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There was a...
Some D20s.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Little bunch of stuff.
Yeah, a bunch of odd stuff.
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And the magazine.
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I was pouring over the little magazine actually and I saw halfway.
This kind of actually really interested me.
So like they pick one person every month and instead of getting your Loot Crate, you just
get a different Loot Crate that's worth like a thousand bucks.
Mega Loot Crate.
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3DSs and like elaborate stuff that's worth a ton of money.
Okay.
And I always love that like lottery style stuff.
I think that's super sweet.
Yeah.
Like what was included in this one?
This one was a set of like Astro headphones and like a backpack and like six huge Game
of Thrones figures and gaming glasses that we always need.
Oh yeah.
And one of them screen things that you plug your console into.
Those things are nuts.
I know.
I can't believe we've come so far with those stupid things.
Yeah.
And they look like crap shit.
Yeah.
They used to be the complete worst things ever.
I remember.
But now every time I see one, I go, I could actually, they look pretty good.
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A crate of goodies.
Goodies.
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That should be of relative interest to you like nerd Christmas every month.
Every month.
Yeah.
If you have relative interest in what we talk about.
Yeah.
It makes sense.
There's a lot of overlap.
Really?
There's a lot of overlap.
Definitely is.
Not a bad product.
This loot crate.
Yeah.
The only thing that would have made it better if there was like a creepy dragon penis in
that box.
No.
That's not better.
That's probably worse.
You never know.
No.
I really do know though.
I really do know.
I would not make it better.
Okay.
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That's not that.
Head on down.
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You guys, thanks.
How do you guys feel now that it's letter time?
I feel pretty good that if people wanted to send in questions to letter time, they could
send them in to superbestfriendcast at gmail.com.
Wow.
I feel good about sending a letter into superbestfriendcast at gmail.com.
What else would you feel?
Wow.
Good.
Good, enlightened.
Anticipation.
Really?
Yeah.
Are they going to read my letter?
Are they?
Maybe a vague hunger.
The answer's no.
But maybe.
But maybe.
It's like the lottery except you win nothing.
Intrigue.
Maybe a little.
Maybe info.
Yeah.
Maybe validation.
Little tingle in the pants a little bit.
All of it.
No.
We're fans.
We love the best.
The ones that sell.
Oh.
Why do you do that?
No.
No.
I just spit took into the glass.
Yeah.
I wish we would have spit took all over Matt.
It would have been great.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I like that other time.
I didn't work.
I don't want the glass anymore.
You can keep it.
What's the difference between me spit taking into it and drinking out of it?
So what's the question?
What is it?
Yeah.
Less pat contents.
This is what it is.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
JK wants to know.
Hey JK.
Hey.
Is there an official list of evo moments because I searched for evo moments from 1 to 36.
Oh my God.
And I couldn't find them.
That is the best question.
That is hilarious and I feel really stupid that my brain never did that.
It's really confusing.
Never ever.
For someone who is trying to find out what these other 36 moments are.
I always immediately accepted it without questioning it at all.
Yeah.
That's stupid.
That's really dumb.
No.
I think I might have thought about it but like I never...
No.
It's just a joke.
It's just totally a joke about like hey there's a...
There's too many moments man.
But at the time who knew it was going to go that viral?
No one.
It was really...
It's not a nobody channel for nothing.
At that time who knew what the fuck evo was?
No one.
No.
Exactly.
It's such a shame and if you like that you should check out what's that channel with all
the like absolutely ridiculous Street Fighter videos just like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh.
It's Super Queering AIDS.
That's the one.
Super Queering AIDS.
And Homogeneous History of Gay Inventions.
Okay.
History of Gay Inventors.
Those are super great and in the same vein as evo moment 37 but there's no other...
It's like...
Not quite.
It's the same thing.
No but there's similar...
13 videos of a row of horrible ring outs and like fatal fury real bad.
It was just dumb shit.
Dude you're right.
No you're right.
It's more dumb.
No.
No.
If you want actual hype you're not going to find it.
No but you're also not going to find any evo moments.
If you want to find a 15 minute video of a guy failing at an SNK golf game that's the
latest you want to look at.
Sure.
I watched that whole video.
I wish there was all the evo moments labeled and numbered.
It'd be so easy.
You also like if you want to find hype moments you go to that fist of the north star match
we always talk about.
Yeah.
The greatest hook tono can match ever.
It got taken down and uploaded in even worse quality.
It went from 360 to like 144.
I'm going to record it with my Nokia and upload it again and then like flag his video.
In portrait mode.
In portrait mode.
Is there any other way to record video?
No.
Thanks.
Yeah there's no other evo moments.
They're just around.
It was just a joke dude.
It's unfortunate but you have to work for your evo moments.
I feel like there was a very big missed opportunity by someone.
I disagree.
I think something blew up that was not supposed to blow up.
Yeah.
Andrew wants to know if for those of you who have worked in the industry have you guys
ever worked on a game that you were so hyped about but you couldn't talk about do to work?
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All the time dude.
I've never worked on a game.
You know what?
You know what?
We don't talk about them.
We don't post them.
So yes.
I can.
Just teach Q.
Oh god.
You're right.
You're right.
Yeah.
Those agreements no longer matter.
Exactly.
Darksiders 2 was amazing to work on.
Sure.
Good job on not fixing those bugs.
It was such a fun game to work on.
The avengers first person shooter was awesome.
You did actually work on that.
I touched it though.
I touched it.
You did touch it.
Okay.
If we're going into the fucking archives.
Yeah.
What are they going to do to you?
You know what?
HD remix was a dream man.
Yeah.
That was so fucking cute.
That must have been.
I remember man.
I am such an asshole because I'm just making fun of Liam here for letting bugs get through
but I remember the day HD remix came out.
I blew up at you because of the fucking the Zangief SPD bug that somehow got through.
And we were like.
Dude we know.
We know dude.
Single handedly responsible for that shit.
You could only do a tick throw super SPD from one side of the screen.
Perfect.
How does that get through?
Get good.
No not perfect.
It's good.
Yeah get good.
It is a fighting game.
Always face left I guess.
If your mind game is good enough you'll make it happen.
If you can't laugh.
Just trick them into jumping over you.
Well there's fucked up games like certain KOFs where combos only work on one side of
the screen.
And it's like it's just part of the thing.
You just deal with it.
David wants to know if Gaben gave you the touch, if Gaben gave you the ability to make
one system exclusive game, current gen, available on Steam with perfect, perfect porting in
every possible way.
Well current gen only likes 12 of those games.
What would it be?
That's not platinum.
I want to say near just because I want more people to play it.
You'll count that as current gen.
Does the game become-
Well because do you mean-
Because then it's only handheld.
When he says current gen does he mean PlayStation 4 and Xbox One and Wii U?
Yes.
Oh that's like three games.
Alright fine so failure of a question let's try to-
No because there's like 30 exclusives.
Let's expand it.
Let's expand it and say-
Just get something on PC?
No no no let's say latch gen as well.
Okay.
Just to increase that library since you guys are-
You might have said current gen and meant last gen.
Does the game get translated when I do this?
Into English?
Yes.
Well that's not a thing.
You're just making that a thing.
No it's just on Steam.
Oh.
It's just ported perfectly.
Remember Steam guys support Japanese.
Because then you would just pick a game you never got so that's different.
That's different.
But yeah probably near because I want more people to play it because it's one of the best
games of last generation.
Easy.
Easy easy.
I could go for a-
And a perfect port with that would be amazing.
I could go for a really good PC port about Curio Chronicles.
Yeah that's a good one.
There's a lot of Sega games that I'd appreciate getting real good PC ports.
Like Banquish?
Yeah I know I can't say it.
Like Bayo?
Yeah I know I can't say it.
It's a wonderful 101.
Well.
Yeah it's a Demon's Souls is probably the one that stings the most though.
That's true.
A Demon's Souls is a good game.
Usually you have a service version of Dark Souls 1 and we have the very good PC version
of Dark Souls 2 but Demon's Souls is still stuck on PS3.
What about you guys?
Guys who don't play on PC.
Can't pick a shit?
Can't pick a shit?
Cause one of the ones that I would think would be fun was of course Ground Zeroes cause
it's great but that's coming to PC for sure.
And even if it does it runs at 1080p 60fps on places.
A lot of the PC drive is going from here.
Black Flag.
Black Flag is on PC.
Is it on PC?
Yeah it is.
Okay well then I don't know.
I don't know.
I can't think of a damn thing.
Good job.
Nothing?
No.
Not Killer Instinct?
No cause the version I have is fine.
No not to make it better.
See this is the problem in which they don't use Steam so they don't care.
What is my desire then?
More people playing KI.
More money going to KI.
Maybe you'll get another KI in the future.
Sure but that's not like a reason for me to realize it.
Maybe they'll remix a new Killer Cuts for you.
They already are doing that.
Yeah the problem especially brings down for me.
Oh no I have a second one.
Oh okay Kid Icarus uprising.
Okay sure yeah there you go.
Yeah sure.
I want that in a bigger screen.
Handheld games are looking amazing.
Because they won't give it to us.
Then fucking game can have it.
Then I'll say any handheld game I've ever enjoyed ever because I hate playing them on handhelds.
Maybe you gotta pick one.
I would think Gravity Rush would be a good candidate for pointing with your mouse as well.
I don't know P4G I don't get anything.
I fucking hate handhelds.
So much.
Why do they have to have all these good games?
Cause handhelds are great.
Yeah it's a weird problem.
I know.
That only I have.
I'm sure there's other people.
There's other people.
Cause people cared about the fidget TV for no reason.
That it probably had something to do with it.
Could you imagine that came out here and was a big success for some reason?
No because that's not gonna happen.
Could you imagine that banana's world?
I know I can't.
It's pure fantasy.
It's fantasy that I can't even summon.
I get you.
It's just like could you imagine everyone freaking out on day one got one that day and like it blew up for some crazy things.
I'm not saying it's gonna happen.
No your fantasy is too crazy.
I'm saying imagine something.
It's like birds marrying dogs and cats.
Yeah no.
You have like no imagination.
No he doesn't.
I'm a creative person.
Timothy wants to know.
Hey what do you do this week?
Hey Timothy.
How you hurt my feelings?
Hey Timmy Tim Tim.
I have creatives.
How do you guys feel about tabletop games?
Are you interested in them?
Are you into them?
Is cards against humanity a tabletop game?
No really.
Not really.
But he does mention a couple of examples.
He says like ascension, sentinels of the multiverse, tickets to ride, hell even the Mega Man board game.
So board games?
Maybe I'm a child but like tabletop games hold no interest but board games for children that adults take too seriously.
I have all of this opinion.
Now the other thing he drops here which isn't I would that's it's a card game not tabletop but he says Yomi.
And he's like are you guys into Yomi too?
Japanese word for reading the mind of the opponent.
Do you guys know about Yomi and so on and so forth?
Oh hell yeah we know about Yomi and love it because the joke as Pat just demonstrated comes from David Serlin.
And Serlin made he was instrumental to making Street Fighter HD Remix.
And so he made this card game that plays a lot like a fighting game.
It has like eight decks that each and each deck represents a player but it's also a full deck of 52 cards.
It's pretty brilliant.
Yeah so it's a good game.
Had a lot of fun playing it and like fortunately a friend of mine works for Serlin and helped him put together the online mode.
Yeah he's a serious tournament player like he's like one of the top ranked Hondas in the world.
He knows his shit and he was there from day one helping them make and balance this card fighting game thing.
So I was totally trying to preach the word to you guys and stuff like that and get other people into it.
I played a bunch with you.
Yeah and we got some games in at work and like it was totally a blast.
Yomi is the shit man.
We totally know about it.
I like tabletop games a lot.
I used to play a lot of trading card games from like common stuff like Magic and Yu-Gi-Oh!
To less common stuff like Legend of the Five Rings.
To like weird stuff where I was like I gotta try this anyway like the Neopets card game.
What?
Yeah totally.
I love like card games and tabletop games.
I just love trying them and such.
Often times it's hard to get invested in them.
Well at the time of course where I had time I had no money.
Right of course.
And now that I have money I have no time.
Yeah exactly.
So I'm still fascinated by them.
And you also don't have a ready available pool of people who also have the time.
I have a couple people but it's hard to get to them.
It's way harder than it used to be.
Like for example a fan just sent in a book for a game that he made and four figures that went with it.
And I'm fascinated by that and I'm gonna go home and I'm gonna study that shit because I love that.
Yeah awesome.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
I think though besides Liam for the rest of us.
Not really.
Not too much besides the things I just mentioned there.
Favorite board game go.
Favorite board game of all time.
Go.
Do it.
Oh fuck do I.
I saw Haunted Hill.
Risk do I just throw risk.
Yeah you say risk.
I just say risk.
That's what you do.
I just say risk.
I just say risk.
Possibly mental gear risk or any other specialty risk.
Sure.
Those are all cool.
But risk.
As long as you have three days to lose.
I can't remember if it's the full name but House on Haunted Hill by Wizards of the Coast.
I've heard of this.
Fucking amazing.
Favorite traditional card game.
Oh.
Like played with a poker deck.
Kent.
Anybody.
I have no.
I have no love for traditional card games.
Okay.
This game.
There's no character.
I am not a good gambler.
Put everything on black.
I don't.
Yeah.
No this.
It works half the time.
It works half the time.
Kent is the kind of game.
It works half the time.
You're like what is this thing and then you play and you're like I'm hooked.
It's fucking good.
I tried.
It's like a dive kick card game.
Six different occasions and card games.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's not a triple chart.
I played a lot of Warhammer and 40k and Mage Knight.
Like I really like.
You were way in there.
I do.
I love that kind of stuff.
But now it's hard because there's just not.
There's not enough time.
You're an adult now.
It's hard.
Send your check to Games Workshop.
Fuck Games Workshop.
They're crooks.
Yeah.
Only the hardcore people.
Controversy.
Games Workshop.
Okay.
There's controversial opinions coming through.
Great.
Boy the amount they charge for anything is absurd.
Obviously because it's a specialty market that will pay it.
But they keep increasing their prices.
Because those people are getting old and dying.
Yeah.
And I think any Warhammer fan will tell you those prices are absurd.
Just start making your own figures out of lead.
People do that.
I always complain that the kid robot prices are absurd.
And then they jack those kid robot prices up even higher.
And I was like what are you doing guys?
And now they're shutting down the new branch of the store.
So they're their top store.
They're hurting.
Buying sinkers.
These places.
Fishing lines.
Is bullshit.
So what you do is you get a big hunk metal.
You melt it down and make your own fucking sinker.
And then you lose that shit all you want.
The fish bites it.
Yep.
And you make that with Warhammer just way harder.
A million times.
So the sinker all you need is just a blob of metal and a little thing on it.
Exactly.
Well said.
Just need a blob of metal.
Where the fuck did we get all that metal?
I don't know.
For what?
That meteorite fell.
So we had like just a bunch of metals.
Did you make sinkers?
No.
I don't know.
Then what?
What's metal for?
What is it for?
For making sinkers.
You just...
You just repeated the same old rovers.
You just said you didn't make sinkers.
My memory on this is bad.
Where did the metal come from?
You forgot.
I don't know.
Exactly.
We need a question to save.
Like it's when you have that memory where you can remember like two pieces of information
only and then you start to doubt whether or not it even happened at all.
Aaron says, I started reading the Berserk manga.
And I want to know why Woolly the Liar hates Puck so much.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Why do you hate Puck?
Who is awesome.
I hate Puck.
You said he sucks and he's the worst.
Okay.
Are you done putting words in my mouth?
Oh, do you want me to bring up the video?
Are you saying it?
Because what I said and what I always say about Puck is he's a weird comedy insertion.
Oh, the back down.
Into...
Yeah.
Okay.
Are you done?
You done?
All right.
Give me like one more.
Okay.
Fine.
You get one more.
All right.
Puck is...
He's tonally way different from everything else.
Oh, yeah.
He's weird.
And it's super odd because I just kind of find it's like...
Because why would you go for a pseudo Jar Jar route?
Because you go from baby on a stick to, gee, guts, what are we doing today?
I know.
And the jolly...
That's why Puck's awesome.
And the jolly happy side kick is a weird thing to throw in with guts because sometimes
if you're making like...
You know how they say, if they ever made the Metroid movie, Samus would get a sidekick?
Yeah.
An AI robot or a little alien cute thing or whatever.
Or a metronome.
Or a metronome.
But you know, and it'd be like, we hate that stuff.
So when I look at it and I go, okay, Puck is not that bad at all.
Puck is the exception.
But it's the weirdest inclusion in a thing that's so fucking brutal and dark.
Exactly.
And they need...
He wants...
Do you think the guy wants to keep writing this depression where babies are getting killed?
Yes, because he's been doing it for decades.
No, he gets sick of it and wants to do something that is a little bit cheery sometimes.
So one day he wakes up and draws Ray Porson and goes, what am I doing with my life?
But wait, Puck is there from issue one.
Yeah.
I think Puck's pretty tastefully written, to be honest.
Like I said, he's nowhere near as bad as your traditional sidekick thing.
He's not bad, exactly.
And remember, Puck's not around in the one arc of the story in which it's not that brutal.
And he saves Casca a lot.
Because he just wanders into bullshits.
Puck also narratively, like aside from his personality, it's the world at large doesn't
see magical weird beings.
So almost everyone that they meet in towns don't even see Puck.
It's only people that don't have their minds clouded by religion or other stuff where they're
in an unfettered line.
Is that a fucking fairy right there?
Yeah.
So it's like all his personality is kind of weird.
It also serves a narrative thing because Puck's always like, and plus Puck heals Guts when
he's in it.
Why is he wearing any pants?
So like I said, it's not at all hatred for the character.
It's more of like looking at the structure of the story and just finding some total dissonance.
You need a little cheeriness.
Total dissonance is what I'm going to go with.
You need a little cheeriness.
Who's Guts supposed to rub elbows and go, haha, rape horse with, if not for Puck?
You're making a joke tonight.
But you're making a joke.
Skull Knight.
Skull Knight.
I was about to, am I going to correct you?
Sure.
Fuck.
You're making a joke.
I'm not nearly like Puck.
Puck will be doing something and Guts will hit him and say shut up or he just pays no
attention to him.
The only time he's like, heal me.
I need healing.
The thing that you do is worth me keeping your hands by having no pants.
The girls wear pants.
The little fairies have little nice flower dresses.
Well, to be fair, Puck has no genitals.
So it's kind of fine.
Just like everyone else in the Berserk universe.
Well, everyone else is obscured by crazy weird shadows that make no sense.
Anyway, Puck's awesome.
Puck's great.
Puck's great.
He's close.
That's the end of that chapter.
The answer is because Willie needs Berserk to be darker.
It needs more light.
You know what I'm talking about?
You know what I'm talking about?
You know what I'm talking about?
Yeah, all right.
Like is that like, all right, all right, all right.
You know what?
Listen to your real reasoning and I'm like, wait, is the takeaway here that you'd prefer
Berserk to be even darker?
Yeah, fair enough.
I'll take that.
You know, like it just struck me as a little odd as all.
Strike me as a little odd.
It's not dark.
Sean writes in and he writes a long thing sort of about how he, after like listening to
us talk about it and I forget which video, he went and picked up Kingdoms of Amalur.
Yeah, we've talked about it on and off through podcasts and videos and whatnot.
And he said that like, he tried the demo at first and fucking hated it.
That demo is not good.
And then he tried the full version and he's like, I can finally see what you were talking
about.
Well, specifically when I was talking about what's good about it.
Yeah, it's a fun game.
What's really strong about it is the combat system.
You have some really awesome mixing of weapons.
Kind of RPG.
For that combat system is outrageously like over the top in depth.
It's weight.
Wow.
Because every weapon set that you pick up, you're like, this is a soul caliber move set.
Yeah.
It's a launcher and we're doing juggles.
Yeah.
You know, and it's not, what's the word I'm looking for?
It's semi hyper.
Yeah.
So he was thinking he's like, this combat system almost single handedly saves the experience.
Yeah.
Is there anything you can think of in a similar note where the game is almost entirely forgettable,
but one element of it.
That one thing.
Holds it together.
Spider-Man 2.
Spider-Man 2 is the ultimate.
That is the best answer.
An awful game.
You stole it.
I was going to say.
An awful game, but with the best.
Spider-Man 2 is terrible.
I can't be that.
Except for the web swinging makes the game fun.
I can't beat that.
I can't think of anything else.
No, like a weird example I have is Darksiders 2, which I like a lot, because it's a weird
collection of great systems that don't mesh perfectly.
They all just sit side by side and they're all great, but they don't mesh.
It is the platforming that doesn't mesh with the combat.
Darksiders 2 is less than the sum of its parts.
Yeah, exactly.
But it's good, and without each of those parts it would be not good.
For what you said about Spider-Man, I know I'm standing alone here, but I'll say the
same about Bionic Commando.
The swinging really makes it fun.
You're not alone on that.
Well, I never really got to grips with it.
I'll agree with it.
Some of the later swinging missions are really dope.
Can we think of anything else?
You're like, yeah, I'm going through air minefields and shooting shit in the air.
Non-awesome swinging-based games.
Yeah, non-swinging-based games.
One feature saves it.
Like, its story is really good, but the game is not great.
But that would still make the game fail, you know what I mean?
But you need to play this because of the story.
The gameplay of Fallout 3 and New Vegas are whatever, but the writing, particularly in
New Vegas, makes it transcendental.
If you were to boil down those systems into just a game with bad writing, like Fallout
3, you'd get a mediocre game.
Or even a pretty good game depending, but when you get the Avalon writing and the
Swear writing, just, oh, my brain.
I've got two after math.
I'd say Silent Hill's Shadow of Memories.
If it didn't have the story that it does and the competent writing that it does.
If it had a shitty story in writing with nothing really going for it, it would have
been not a great game.
I'm okay with the branching.
I had fun with the branching.
Well, I just mean like the chases versus the general unscaringness of just walking
around.
Yeah, but then also the psych scenes in between.
Well, that feeds into what I mean by its story and its kind of...
I don't know if this would qualify because I don't think the game would be bad without
it, but if you took all the music out of Hotline Miami, that game would be so much
fucking worse.
That would be...
It's a thing, I guess.
If you took the VFX powers out of Beautiful Joe...
Well, then it's just a beat-em-up with nothing going on.
Or if you took grapples out of beat-em-ups in general.
If you removed grappling from beat-em-ups, you'd have less than half a game.
And of course...
You lose so much.
It's such a fundamental part of all beat-em-ups, almost.
I'm just thinking of like, would I play Icaruga without the black-white switch in a heartbeat?
I'd enjoy the shit out of it.
It'd still be a beautiful shmup.
Traditional but beautiful.
You know, I'm really trying to stretch and I can't...
If I got to the end of Dragon's Crown and it did not have the variable, like, infinite
dungeon stuff, then that game would suck.
Yeah.
Heavy rain without Quick Temp events?
Yeah.
Oh, we got another question.
I feel bad about it.
No, no, we're gonna wrap up on that one.
We're all out of questions.
We have to wrap it up.
We're gonna wrap that shit up.
Wrap that shit up.
You can't get the podcast pregnant.
What is...
What are we stocking this week, boys?
Lots of shit.
A lot of lights coming out.
Yeah.
More RE4.
No, wait, we're confusing segments here.
No, what are we stocking?
Oh, sorry.
What did you say?
What are we stocking?
Oh, I think that stock isn't what you have in stock.
No, no, no, sorry.
Because we have shitloads of things in stock.
What are you putting on the watch?
Freedom Wars again, because it just got an English translated story trailer.
Did it?
And that shit is hot.
Show me that on your phone after this.
I will.
I posted it on Facebook too.
It's fucking great.
Freedom Wars looks amazing.
It looks like actually fucking excellent.
So all the lights going out this week and that new firmware for PlayStation 4 is gonna be cool.
Those are gonna be cool, for sure.
I just picked up...
I know you're gonna be like, what?
You never read that, but I just picked up Old Man Logan.
Oh, jeez.
Which I know a lot about.
Right?
You never read that.
Yeah, I was waiting for you guys to say the word.
Which I know a lot about.
Okay.
You know it's general setup and stuff you've told me, but I never actually read it because
I never actually seen it in a store.
Okay.
So I actually picked it up.
So I read it and like, holy shit, it's good.
And that will just bring me to say the fact that you see that Marvel is just like, we're
straight up killing Wolverine off and he's not gonna be appearing in any books ever.
Perfect.
Amazing.
But like...
I didn't see that.
It was just the other day and it's called The Ark.
It's called The Death of Wolverine.
Oh yeah.
So no spoilers there.
So what do you want to...
Hold on, cap down to Wolverine's resurrection for 14 months.
Of course.
But you want to...
They're like, what do we do with this character?
He's being put in too many places.
We got to think him over again.
So let's not forget that Cap died and recently came back.
Remember Batman died and then fought cavemen?
Well, Batman never really died though.
It was off panel.
He disappeared.
Yeah.
He got hit with the anti-life equation.
I felt like yelling at Mitsumi Takahashi for talking about on the news that Cap died.
You remember that shit?
Did she?
Yes.
I remember news reporters saying certain people have died.
What did Mitsumi Takahashi say?
What did she say?
On the fucking pulse at six o'clock.
It's a specific pulse.
This is really specific.
Captain America on the Montreal news.
C-S-E-F-12.
Beloved, beloved comic book character Captain America died today and I'm like, no he didn't.
And you know what?
Superman died.
Even if it doesn't come back in the next year or two years or whatever.
He'll be back.
Comic books run on the 13 year sliding scale.
Every story has to repeat.
He had to kill off Archie.
You've got to bring him back at some point.
How will I know if he's going to go with Betty or Veronica?
Didn't he already married Veronica one time?
Yeah, he married someone.
Didn't he?
But every 13 years the entire cast has been rebooted thoroughly before they loop again.
No, Archie's going to marry Tails.
What I want to say is, man, if you're going to kill off Wolverine, I want to see you fucking
all in and stop all merchandising for Wolverine.
No, it's it.
But I want to see them actually do it all the way.
Marvel can do it with their car.
He's not a real person.
But I mean, don't be pansies about it.
No, I don't mean in like, reveration.
I mean, like, if you're going to kill a character and people don't like that, go all the way with it.
They will sell his fucking charred skeleton if they want.
They already did.
You can buy that toy.
It's part of the Marvel Legends.
You know what I would like for them to acknowledge this and kill off characters in ways in which people
actually go, how the hell are they going to undo that?
Like, he gets thrown into a pocket universe, in with sun, and then the whole universe explodes and atomizes.
The only context it gives is he's against an opponent who he cannot win against.
That's all it says.
Now Sabertooth got a Wolverine claw in the brain and healed that shit.
I have that issue.
You do have that issue.
It games with the eyeball getting snickered.
And it says Wolverine is without his healing factor, which has happened before.
Obviously, he's going to fight Null.
What this means is Wolverine is taking a vacation.
No, it means Saberall's going to grab Null and then put Null in a little backpack.
And he's going to just walk around him and then he's bigger than Logan.
He can also destroy it.
Get ready for the team called the Wolverines.
Oh man, you're right.
We're going to have to end this podcast now because I have to go throw up.
But not before we also say what we had on the watch.
Oh right.
Freedom Works is still on the watch in five minutes.
I'm going to watch bad anime, probably.
Okay, literally, yeah.
You know what, I'm going to put Injustice 2 on the watch.
Because if they improve, if they have the improvements that Injustice was...
If you saw that video, it's rumored that it might not even be Netherrealm making it.
That's interesting.
Because Netherrealm, they're like Mortal Kombat.
Make it in one of these.
Make it in one of these.
ArcSys.
ArcSys.
They're in Galaxy.
They take on everything.
Yeah.
We'll do it.
No, if you theoretically see like improvements that...
The improvements Injustice had over MK9 reflected in Injustice 2 to Injustice 1.
Yeah, absolutely.
With them going like, oh yeah, fighting games, we know what that is.
Now, all they need to do is switch out those characters with Marvel characters and then
you'll get a game.
Sure.
But anyway, I'd rather them switch them out with the fucking Imperfects than the fucking
DC cats.
Oh, god.
No, image!
Get image in there!
I'm sick.
Jesus Christ.
There's good characters.
It's fine.
Where are they?
They're not in Injustice.
Where's Batman and Bane?
Solomon Grundy's cool.
He's not.
Your flash is cool.
No, he's not.
Your loser is fucked up.
You're talking about comic books.
He's super cool.
He's not cool at all.
He's a stupid idiot in a red jumpsuit that runs fast.
You need to read Flashpoint.
No, I don't.
I need to keep not reading it.
Yeah, probably.
Gonna watch my little girl anime now.
Thank you.
Now learn them.
You tell them, Pat.
Take that comic nerds!
That's not what I'm saying.
We have lots of our irrational hatred of DCs.
No, it's not.
It makes some interesting characters.
The problem with me is that...
I'll lend you Wonder Woman New 52.
The problem with me is that Green Lantern and Superman have poisoned DC for me.
Because any universe in which it's Green Lantern and Superman exists, it's a universe I don't care about.
All Sandman.
No.
Maybe this will give you some control.
No, Sandman doesn't really count.
It actually does, though.
Every time you have to do that, you're an asshole.
It's from a different side imprint that wasn't part of DC's main continuity.
I mean, that's like saying Punisher Max is not actually part of Marvel.
But that was Punisher was in it before.
And Sandman has shown up in other shows.
I'm really glad I don't read comics.
Anyway.
RE4.
You got RE4 guys.
Lots of cool one-offs.
Yeah, we got one-offs, guys.
We have finally our long-just dating killer instinct video.
There's Nuzlocke's coming, right?
Yeah, I think so, somewhere.
Somewhere.
And the plan to kill Woolly is finally going to be put into effect.
Yes, with our new series, Crime Time with Liam.
I really didn't know that.
I was so happy you called it Crime Time.
I don't know about that name, though.
Woolly, you got to say it now.
No, that...
I don't know about that name.
Woolly, come on.
Tune in to Crime Time with Woolly and Matt.
Come on, say it.
It has to be Crime Time.
It's like Body Breed.
Body Breed.
You have thug stuff.
They'll just be crime-based.
Yeah.
You guys got like...
The other name was The Thug Life with Matt and Woolly.
What happened to the background?
But we turned your name down.
No, some fans suggested how about Black Things with Woolly and Matt.
Like that.
Yeah, but there'll be some games that don't have thug in them.
I don't know, man.
Your level of uncomfortableness makes me feel like it's better.
I miss the blackout.
Crime Time's the best.
That has to happen.
No.
We'll think of it.
Either way, like the plan that was referred to in Nuzlocke that you can now talk about
is the plan to sit me down in front of every one of these fucking stupid, wigger-ass games
and destroy me from the inside.
Now it's got to be Crime Time.
It'll enter in through your eyeballs and cry in your brain.
I don't want it.
Yeah?
Well, I don't want it.
Well, it's here.
Apparently the world wanted it.
Yeah!
I put that shit on my Twitter.
It was like, yeah, make it really play that part more.
Make it really bleed.
See you fucking next week.
See you next week, everybody.
Oh, it's time to fail.
It's time to clean up.
Oh, it's time to clean up.
It's time to clean up.
Oh, it's time to fail.
It's time to clean up.
Ah, too early.
I'ma check it out.
Now that you're feeling real tipsy,
now let me take you on a trip and roll with me.
With your brothers, get their party on every day,
because we gots to do that anyway.
Hey, it's time to get on down to the funky, funky rhythm
Ain't the sound, cause I gotta hit you up, big baby
And stop that move like wave and yell
Bump that stuff in your trunk every day
Let them big muscles know that we don't play
Hey, it's the phone coming through
Hitting you every single day on the wiggie
Oh, come on, come on, come on
It's time to clean up.
It's time to clean up.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to clean up
It's time to clean up.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to clean up.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
It's time to feed us.
Free feed water!
It's time to feed us!
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