Castle Super Beast - SBFC 043: Too Much Weiner Slappin'
Episode Date: June 3, 2014Really have to apologize for the low mic quality on this episode. Due to some technical problems our recording setup was a bit different this week, but it won't happen again....
Transcript
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I'll slap your dick.
You'll slap his dick?
You have that.
Fuck you.
Fuck me?
Fuck you.
Fuck me?
Why fuck me?
You're talking about slapping your dick?
You did that?
You did that?
In ages that you've actually managed to start the podcast early without us noticing.
I know, it's because I'm looking.
We were having a private conversation about dick slapping each other's things.
You guys should know by now that when you enter these premises, everything you do is
lineable.
I wouldn't record anything when dicks are being topped of that.
I was just threatening a man, and I knew that he wouldn't like it if I slapped his dick,
so it seemed appropriate.
No.
It was not a blank thread.
Is it like this?
Hey Matt.
Yeah.
No, I always think that your dick did something rude or offended someone, and then you have
to get that to back up.
Like bad penis?
Yeah.
Shame on you.
Shame on you.
And then it goes...
Oh, and then it tucks in.
It curls back up.
Oh.
Yeah, tucks back in.
That's how those things work.
Yeah, because that's how human beings work.
Tucks back in and spirals around your nuts.
Coils around.
It'd be nice if any of us knew anything about dicks, because we don't.
One day we'll learn.
We've never...
I gotta get used to this thing.
We've never really seen one, so...
Oh man.
Episode 43?
43?
Yeah.
Stop slapping my dick, Liam.
No.
Stop, stop, stop, stop it, stop, stop it.
Stop it.
It's louder than I thought it would.
Oh man.
It's got like a Sonic dick boom going on here.
Yeah.
Buddy, compatriot.
How are you doing, Lily?
Because I know you're not doing that great.
Matt, my buddy.
How was your...
How did you sleep last night?
I didn't sleep well.
I didn't sleep well either.
Yeah, how...
Why are you guys sleeping now?
I'm holding up an appearance of jovial, happy attitude.
That everyone can see.
That's fake.
Yeah.
That's transparent.
I'm fucking pissed.
Why are you fucking pissed?
So, Lily sent me a Facebook message that I wasn't sure exactly what it was at first,
but it just said, I'm so fucking angry in caps.
That's the kind of message I usually send you.
Yeah.
Yeah, but not even.
So, it's not...
So, it took me a second.
I was like, oh.
It took you like two seconds.
So, Game of Thrones.
And it's not the type of thing that's like a red wedding or what.
It's not even that type of thing.
It's a whole other type of thing.
Right?
Oh my God, am I mad?
Because a thing that was not even as big as those things that you were like, oh, that's
gonna be.
And it's like, no, that thing was not gonna be okay.
As someone who's up to date, this is riveting.
Are you?
Did you catch up?
No, it's not a thing.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, yeah.
It's especially riveting.
It's especially riveting, because this is something that happens that to where you are
now means absolutely nothing.
Could be so far apart.
But it's like, man, that thing happened.
But whoa.
But in a couple of years, you'll get really fun here.
Yeah, yeah.
No, but we're talking...
I can't wait for a thing.
We're talking back to those people who do know about it.
They're like, oh, the thing, the thing.
I can't fucking deal.
So, I mean, I'll just say there's a bit of gruesomeness in it.
Like, there's a death.
Yeah, yeah.
It is so gruesome, and it happens to someone that like, oh, that your eye had trouble sleeping.
It was just like, oh, that keeps flashing my eyes.
Sounds great.
It wasn't great.
Sounds awesome.
And I don't get screened during, like, you know, someone getting killed in a TV show,
but I was just like, oh, that's horrible.
It's one of those things where, look, man, like, as you guys go forward into this show,
you're gonna, you're gonna, like, get your hopes up, and then things are gonna get crushed.
No, no, I'm not gonna hold my hopes up.
No.
No, no.
Gvisible.
No hopes, no hopes, no hopes.
Fine.
Dreary, dark fucking, Scott.
No hope, don't care.
Right.
But, like, but you still keep going because you want to see how do you do less hope.
It's impossible for you to not get personally invested in something.
Right.
Right.
And the one thing you guys should all, like, be, I guess, guessing right now.
Because my guess, right, that everyone should have, is that, like, everything that's happening
that's like political in this show and all that shit-
Meaningless.
It's going to be completely pointless when the real problems come around.
Yeah.
Right?
We know winter's coming.
And they'll, and they'll-
We know this fucking dragon.
There'll be that transition season where it's like, oh!
Oh!
There's a real problem.
Oh, God!
Not this baby bullshit.
Right.
So the whole time you're, like, in the back of your head, you should be thinking, fuck
that, there's a song of fire or ice that we need to worry about.
Right?
There's that whole thing.
And then me, you're still lurking somewhere.
You're in the intro.
It's fucking flying around.
There's girls lurking behind like a moon.
Yeah!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Like, because you see it in the intro.
Like, what's that going to fucking do?
You know?
And, like-
It's going to give the fire up under you.
But you're just like, why?
But you're like, in the meantime, while things are still meaningless, we can't have-
Little moments.
Can't have little moments, man.
Oh!
So fucking burnt.
Anyway.
Stop getting mad about TV shows, says Casey Greene.
Well, I can also get happy off of TV shows.
Cool Frog says, stop getting mad about video games.
Aw, cool.
I say stop getting mad about TV shows.
Well, no, but it works both ways, though.
Stop getting happy also.
Yeah, no.
Read yourself them all, feelings.
Because I had to just cleanse that shit out.
So I had to-
Become a simple being.
I had to cleanse it out a little bit.
And I had to go-
Well, I finished off Kamen Rider Kabuto.
And that was a dig slapping.
That was some fun time.
I enjoyed it.
I still need to go watch the movie, but-
The movie called Kamen Rider Godspeed Love!
Yeah!
Yeah!
Godspeed Love!
I thought you were going to say it's called Kamen Rider Dig Slapping.
So, who's your favorite rider in Kabuto?
In Kabuto?
Yeah.
Oh, fuck, I love Kick Hopper.
Kick Hopper's pretty fucking sick.
I really love Kick Hopper.
For me, it was a tie between, what's it called, Sassord and the third Zabee.
Zabee.
Zabee?
For the one where-
For the one where, hey, Hachi just grabs it and it's mine now.
Yeah.
Because there's that one really cool thing where they do the rider jump and instead of
jumping, they push the guy into the air and then go into the kick and slap.
I had a good time with that.
I've moved on to Kamen Rider Double.
Yes.
Is that double the Kamen Rider?
Double the Kamen Rider.
I'm an asshole.
Is this a flower?
Not quite.
Are you more awake afterwards?
Yeah, definitely.
Double shot.
Because two people merge into one, right?
And it's a cool thing.
Oh, like dig slapping.
Sure.
No, that's like docking.
Docking.
Docking.
Okay, like docking.
Yeah, that is what I'm thinking.
Kamen Rider Space Docker.
Always.
Yeah.
No, but it's cool because the main-
The Russians don't want to do it anymore.
The main dude is a detective and he's got like-
Unfortunately, a look that is supposed to be like, oh, he's an old school noir guy kind
of thing.
But now-
It just looks like an asshole?
Now he just looks like a fedori.
Yeah.
So it's like, oh no, it's ruined by the outside influence of Reddit and shit.
That's terrible.
But still, it's a fun show and it's the one that our other friend Pat, Shmupgod, Pat
really loves.
So Kamen Rider Double-
Is that the one where he's posting those animated GIFs of?
Uh, because from quite a bit.
Oh yeah.
But it's the one with the half and half, like green and black.
Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
And Joker.
Yeah, Joker, right.
Exactly.
It's a fun time.
So I'll be checking back in when I get around to-
Did that even it out for you?
Not quite.
Because that's fun times, but not as bad.
And I guess the other thing we all managed to get around to was X-Men.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We've all watched it now, so we can all talk about X-Men.
Thoughts.
I also watched Gods of the Sea.
A year ago, I saw the-
Wait, should we put up the little, like we're going to talk about X-Men spoilers?
We're going to talk about X-Men spoilers.
Yeah.
Don't worry though.
None of the spoilers matter.
Yeah.
Jump forward, jump forward, like five minutes.
So we're going to spoil everything in this movie during this discussion.
Yeah.
Welcome to Die.
I went to the Fantasia Film Festival where Bryan Singer showed like the first teaser trailer,
like six months before the actual teaser trailer came out online.
So I'd seen it and I was like, oh shit, this is so awesome.
Because it was like the music and everything and it just showed a little bit of it.
And then when they showed the actual full trailer, I was like, yeah.
Yeah, I remember that.
Yeah.
I agree.
It looks a little, I don't know.
So not liking it.
In the end though, like I feel that this is the second best X-Men movie.
X-Men.
X-Men.
X-Men.
I think it's the first by a very small margin.
I'd still consider it.
I'd agree with you, William.
I'd say that X-2 is the best one.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
I like First Class is the best.
Yeah.
Thank you.
That's why I disagree.
I think First Class is the best movie.
I'd say First Class is the third best.
I'd say it's the third best as well.
Okay.
Well.
But we all agree that the top ones are all.
Yeah.
The reason why is that First Class, do you want to watch it?
It's just, it's cheap.
It's cheaply made.
It was on a budget.
The special effects are kind of garbage.
I couldn't get behind the fact that Kevin Bacon's like.
And he's a terrible villain.
He's the worst villain in the franchise.
No, I mean, there's definitely downsides to all of that.
At least if it's amazing.
As is that.
It all looks like total shit.
I'll say this, right?
Fox is starting to get their act together a little bit.
That's cool.
Certainly.
First Class introduced the thing I was telling you guys about, which is my favorite retcon.
Which is the fact that there's some, for some mutants, their power is tied to an emotion.
So Magneto had to feel sadness in First Class in order to move.
Yeah.
I think that's stupid.
I don't give a shit.
I think that's great.
I think it's great.
I really like it.
Yeah.
It's all right.
I don't think it actually.
Maybe I come from the place where I don't give a shit why or how he can control.
Sure.
I just like want to see.
I want to see him throw a boat.
Throw a boat for my pleasure.
But with this movie, I think one of the, probably the complaints I'm going to predict we all
have in common is Wolverine and his ex-bubs.
Not so much.
No.
Really?
No.
We're sending him back because he's Wolverine?
No.
No.
That was fun.
My problem is that he didn't steal the spotlight too much.
Yeah.
He didn't steal the spotlight.
He was the main guy they had to choose to send back because they need Wolverine around.
But he's cool.
But he was in the background when things were happening.
My main problem is that it's still meaningless.
Yeah.
So we're going to have to put the most popular X-Men of all time.
And like, what do you want?
That's the only chance.
That's the only chance.
And it's just working well.
When did she get the time to do that?
That is a serious problem.
That's okay.
Unless it's something we don't know.
In the comic now that we're in.
Yeah.
That is some bullshit.
Cause fuck it.
What?
Did Lockheed teacher how to do that?
Like, when did that happen?
It's, you know, that's nitpicky.
But considering that nitpick is literally the crux of the entire movie.
Yeah.
It's kind of important that they're using a character that couldn't do it.
Here's the thing.
In X-Men, they always have time machines.
Why not time machines now?
Because then you'd be able to send a Wolverine or a Professor X.
Yeah.
Or all of them.
Or all of them.
You could really send one.
It's the near future where that apocalypse happens.
And Patrick Stewart and A. McKellen look fucking tired.
They don't look like they're up for the rest of the movie.
You know what?
To be fair, it makes sense where they are in time.
Absolutely.
And I bet that's why it works.
Because A. McKellen looks like that scene where he's like,
that scene near the end.
Wait, are we just going to spoil the whole fucking thing here?
Well, just,
Okay, fuck it.
We're spoiling it.
Doesn't matter.
At the end, we're in the future timeline.
Magneto fucking dies and he slumps like an old man against a pillar.
Like, wow, that's not acting.
That's fine.
You're just dying on set.
You're fucking tired.
Also, that universe, by the way, is something where it's like,
is that necessarily the last end universe?
Or was it another one?
Because it was like, oh, they're both there and they came back.
I imagine it's the last end universe.
I think it was.
And now that they've done what they did,
Professor Rex just came back then.
Yeah.
I think singers,
But now that they did what they did,
they have a whole new universe.
Of course.
You know what I realized?
They never explained how he got back.
Exactly.
Remember, it was at the end of Wolverine Origins
where he's just back and he says like,
oh, Logan, there's mysterious bullshit.
And I assume they were going to explain that.
But then,
I'm relatively certain they just wanted to go with,
like they didn't care to go with the plot line
where he just, I'm magic!
So I reconstituted my body.
I'm fucking Gandalf.
No, he sees Jean-Luc Picard.
Well, but he's Gandalf the White.
No, you've met me.
We were talking about Professor Rex.
I'm talking about Professor Rex.
I'm talking about the guy that dies and comes back.
Oh!
You understand our confusion.
Yeah, he's dead.
It's like he's dead.
No, he's not.
Fuck you!
I'm gone!
Pretty much, you know?
I like the idea that there's a slight implication
that it's like, wow,
Ratner fucked it up so bad
that the apocalypse happens.
Yep.
Yep.
No, Ratner's definitely to blame,
but it's actually kind of Bryan Singer's fault.
Because he left!
Because he left.
He specifically,
I'm going to make this Superman movie.
Everyone's going to love it.
It's going to be a super success.
Oh!
Like, when you walk away from something,
generally it's not your fault what happens to it,
but he left it with Fox's hands.
Now, the genesis of that movie
was then Matthew Vaughn,
the director of X-Men First Class,
then picked up the reins,
then he dropped out,
then Ratner had to take over.
That's...
So, I'm heading back to your primary complaint.
It will rain.
My primary complaint is kind of part of that,
and I made a joke about it
going into the movie.
Because I had seen First Class hours before.
I had never seen it.
And I'm walking into the movie and I say,
man, it's really hilarious how in order to have a plot,
every single movie has to either remove
Professor X from the equation,
or depower him somehow.
Yes.
And literally,
as soon as you go into the movie,
Wolverine,
no adamantium claws anymore,
worthless.
They did a sentinel movie
where Wolverine doesn't have an adamantium claws.
That is bullshit.
And then the second one is for most of the movie,
Professor X has no powers,
so he is unable to easily solve the problem.
He's just a guy.
And even when he gets his powers back,
he's like, oh, I'm pretty weak, bro.
I have a girl.
Now, the more than that,
way better than that,
is that this version of Mystique sucks,
and hinging the entire movie on her is awful.
Hey, I have a question.
How many excellent movies does it end
with Mystique's eyes flashing?
I'll answer all of them.
It is such a,
we can do any plot and it doesn't matter,
because we have a character that can turn into anyone.
It's okay.
Why did Mystique,
why was Mystique's striker?
I don't know.
She's going to grab Wolverine.
She's looking him out.
She said that he becomes,
like it's going to help him anyway.
But she don't know,
he never takes his claws out in the future,
so they're probably bone claws.
I was just, he takes it out tons.
He slashes kids.
No, no, no.
Not in the new future.
In the new future.
Well, to be fair,
he's in the X mansion.
But my point is,
is he like they have bone claws
because that shit didn't happen.
Exactly.
He didn't get tortured and he's just normal guy?
Yeah, he's normal.
I can't see that.
Yeah, no,
he'll do the thing that they did
in the comics where he just goes,
ah, I suck.
Give me the shit back.
Yeah, but that was Magneto
pulling all the adamants out.
Which is,
which is referenced
in this movie.
Yeah, a lot more
than the next movie,
fucking Ed Sabaner shows up
and Apocalypse puts the metal on him.
Raise your hand.
Raise your hand.
Who went to see the movie
with someone that's like,
who's that?
Everybody.
Who's Apocalypse?
Yeah, I went to.
Yeah, and you're like,
and you're like,
oh Apocalypse, that's so high.
Because like there was,
and like I saw it pretty early
and like you could see the crowd do it also.
Right.
Like there were,
as soon as you saw the pan up to a pyramid,
there were about half of the audience
rocking in their seats.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know?
And then the rest,
just like looking around and going like,
what?
Why is everyone there?
It was way more subtle than Thanos.
Yeah, absolutely.
Because it didn't like,
he didn't sharpen the camera
and he wasn't the guy yet.
Yeah.
But you get the blue lips
and you're like, uh-huh.
You also get four guys on horses.
Oh, that's right.
Start this shit again.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it's right on the hill,
out of focus on the left side of the frame.
There's four guys on horses there.
Which makes no sense.
Which I am.
But it's still cool.
I'm of the belief that the four horsemen
for the next movie
are already in
Days of Future Past
because of that dude that they had
that has a goddamn biohazard symbol
on his fucking hands.
Sure.
That his deals he makes people sick.
Sure.
And Angel is going to be the new
introduction of course.
Sure has to be.
Right?
Well, not new.
He was in next year.
Yeah, at that time,
life doesn't count anymore.
It doesn't.
And I audibly,
I audibly booed
when you know who showed up
at before the end of the credits.
When you see Gene,
and fucking Skye,
and the one great awesome thing
that X-Men last
and did gets undone.
No, no.
No, no.
Wolverine isn't as fun
when Cyclops isn't around.
You know what?
It's the one thing
that I admit Cyclops is really good at.
Yeah.
And it's being punched in the stomach
by Wolverine.
Now,
also speaking of OP shit,
fucking Quicksilver,
like,
I gotta get pushed out of this movie.
I have to leave for no reason.
I don't solve the movie.
Yeah.
Immediately.
To OP.
But they kind of did that
by making my character
that clearly doesn't give a fuck.
Yeah.
He gave a fuck at the end,
but was like,
yeah, this is your thing.
Whatever.
And I wrote him at least
annual.
And you get the little nod.
It's like,
is he the son of Magneto?
Oh, my mom knew about it once.
It's that thing you see
in anything where people have
superpowers
that you inevitably
have a character
that's too superpowered.
And you just go,
um,
and then they went to China.
Yeah.
It's like,
oh, how do we keep Professor X
from solving everything?
How do we keep this guy
and this guy from that?
Yeah.
Because when you have,
like, you have to write
around the character.
Yeah.
So I call bullshit on him
speeding up the game of Pong.
Because Pong would not go fast enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because no, no.
He hacked it.
He hacked Pong.
Oh, yeah.
It's a really good movie.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It produced, like, the whole brotherhood.
I thought that was cool.
Sure.
Like, like, good,
good way to segue
into the next movie
where the brotherhood's going to be there.
I really remember Pyro
and Pyro was a part of the brotherhood,
and then that character just died somewhere.
This may have been stupid of me,
but part of me kind of expected
Magneto to take that stadium
and just go into space.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
That's what it is.
It's just the imagery
is so similar.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That was my actual,
another you mentioned,
my actual big,
like, my biggest beef with the movie
was the fact that,
okay, so you got the present, right?
You got cartoon,
Richard Nixon,
blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
He looks really good.
He looks terrible.
Absolutely.
No, Nixon looks terrible.
After Magneto.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So it was a little
cartoony to me.
I'm like,
just have a rate.
All the X-Men cartoons,
they're always like
make up a bullshit present.
Make it a black guy,
make it a woman
well before that
would even ever happen.
Yeah.
Progressive the cartoons.
Yeah.
But all the Nixon
and all his cabinet ministers,
everyone's seen Magneto
lift a stadium.
They see Mystique
become anyone.
They,
she has a gun train
on all of them
for like three hours.
Yeah.
Yeah.
She's thinking about it hard.
And then the fact
that she just doesn't shoot them
is enough for all of them
to go,
you know what?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Especially Nixon.
Especially Nixon.
Like,
maybe if she shot dude
and then put the gun down
immediately.
But her thinking about it,
like with her tongue sticking out,
it's like,
no.
One,
one minor nitpick
and it's nobody's fault.
Right.
But
I can't
not
see Tyrion Lannister.
Of course not.
I can't,
I can't not.
No, it's too late.
It's,
it's like,
you have gotten the role
of a lifetime.
You have now become
that character.
You are the type cast
of this little person ever.
You want to,
you want to get a real
role in it.
Yeah.
Go watch 30 rock.
Yeah.
It shows up.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's odd.
His task appears again
on the movies and I'm like,
oh, he's gotta tell me a story
about crushing beetles.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna
hear that.
I would say that being said,
he played Trask really well.
Oh,
absolutely.
Trask is great.
Good job.
And he's got the
American accent going.
So it is.
Oh, yeah,
he's a British dude.
Yeah.
I kind of liked how it's like
he wasn't really
like, let's torture them
to get my science.
Well, yeah,
but he doesn't think he's evil,
which is a good villainy.
No,
you know,
they don't think he's evil.
Yeah.
Now the other,
yeah, the villain is going,
oh, I'm so evil.
Yeah.
Okay.
But like,
to sort of move off the movie,
but like still stick around
the topic though,
there's another problem
that kind of exists that
this was announced a while ago
and it's the
mega movie franchise
that world
that we're heading into
with your comic book movies.
Yeah.
Yeah,
Sony and Spider-Man.
Because here's the thing,
I'm really happy to hear
that like a movie like
The Age of the Future Past
can exist because
you know what,
now we can see the stories
that are not about
origin stories.
You can get into
the interesting stuff.
Yeah.
However, right,
comic book movies are now
not only in full swing,
but they're heading for
a like four movies
per summer spike.
Yeah.
Because of what Marvel
did with
the adventure characters,
the edge characters,
phase one,
the studio wants to do that,
right?
And that's a lot.
Exactly.
So now Sony and Fox
are going,
holy shit,
that Marvel phase thing
is nuts.
It made them a ton of money.
What a good idea.
We're going to do that
with the deals we got.
When we have almost
no characters.
But the deals,
here's the thing,
Fox's deal is not just
the X-Men,
it's every mutant.
Yeah.
And Sony's deal is
everyone that's ever
appeared in Spider-Man
comics.
So for example,
What?
Something along those lines.
That's everyone.
But it's like,
it's not,
but that's why you get
that kind of thing.
They just don't say
mutant in the Avengers.
Or whatever,
right?
So,
but the problem is that,
like,
it's not everyone,
but it's like,
it's something along the
lines of predominantly
appearing.
So for a while,
like I said,
we're making a Deadpool movie
and not too long ago,
they're like,
we're also looking at X-Forces.
Sure.
Wow,
that's a lot of stuff.
And if Fox could
maintain this level of
quality,
I'd love to see more
X-Men stuff.
But the problem,
again,
we'll see here's,
and I'm going to continue to
not watch the DC is better,
because they have continued
to be non-racist.
Liam's completely right.
It's not a problem.
You just don't watch
the DC movies.
But we're going,
though,
we're going, though,
is that we're going to be
getting, like,
this build up of phases.
Yeah.
For things that are like,
those characters don't
matter and or there's no
story to tell.
You're totally right.
So it's going to crash
and burn.
Exactly.
And then Marvel might get
their rights back.
They won't.
Because the dealers
are definitely
making a movie.
No matter how bad it is.
Yeah.
So Sinister Six movie.
Yeah.
You know,
and then not just Sinister Six,
but, like,
Shocker.
Yeah.
Quietly.
Yeah.
I can end my hunger strike.
Yeah.
Well, like,
you know,
it costs ten bucks to
see a movie.
And as long as it's not,
what movies are you
seeing?
What movies are you
seeing for ten bucks?
What's Tuesday?
Yeah, no.
They're, like,
twelve bucks on Tuesdays.
Yeah.
Now they are?
They just went to see Godzilla.
No.
Okay.
Well, that's besides the
price.
They're super cheap.
They cost, like,
whatever considering my
income.
And it's like,
as long as they're good
movies,
I don't care who's
making them.
Sure.
But Fox has kind of
a poor track record.
Also,
and that's why I said at the
beginning,
as long as it's good.
Also,
if they're not rocking the
world,
but they're doing,
but they're okay to
decent,
if they're oversaturated,
if there's too many of them,
if they're getting already.
Yeah.
But I mean,
that's fine.
But to me,
considering I already
don't like the Iron Man
movies,
it's like,
I don't have any steak
in anyone here, you know.
Sure.
But, like,
we're comic fans,
you and I met,
and, like,
I feel that,
like,
we've been suffering through
bad comic movies
and saw this,
this curve
finally take its turn
to get here.
Yeah,
because we're past the
electros,
the daredevils,
the ghost writers.
The green light,
green light superhero movies.
But if we get too many,
and it blows up,
we go back to fucking nothing.
Well,
that's why I'm glad that
Marvel's doing those
weird Netflix things.
Like,
they just casted a new daredevil
for the Netflix stuff.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
For street level.
Because now with Avengers,
you can't make street level
anymore.
Yeah, yeah, it's okay.
And even Batman
is not street level.
Batman is at least city level.
Like,
you always save the...
There's a ball
and a ball of Gotham.
The city.
Oh,
fuck ass is invested
in all of Gotham.
You better watch the Gotham TV show
to find out.
No,
that is the magic
I could not care about.
Okay,
so that is the worst thing
ever.
Ever.
And not just because,
like,
there's a very specific thing
that is the kiss of death
for your property.
It's a new prequel,
and you establish
that every character
that ever mattered
met each other
as kids.
Yeah, yeah.
That is the worst thing
that Gotham
and the high school
thing that is a pilot.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like,
this Wayne
is a young little kid,
but Joker's in the mood
in the show.
Yeah,
so it's Penguin.
And like,
because you're dealing
with people that might not be
familiar,
every single time
that Cobble Pot walks
onto the screen,
you gotta have some lady
in the background going,
hey,
you look so much like a Penguin.
Like,
fuck.
Yeah.
Like,
that was Smallville's
biggest fucking problem.
Everyone met each other.
So,
oh yeah,
I met Green Lantern
when I was 20.
And then you,
you look at this,
this big mega franchise.
Oh,
we're done with that.
Smallville's, by the way.
Yeah.
That's what we feel like going back.
You look at this mega
franchise war that we're
heading into,
and then keep in mind
that for Sony,
it doesn't matter
because if they fucking blow it
all up,
it's another Activision situation.
We can move on.
We have other income,
right?
Remember you and me
saw that,
sorry,
just me and Liam saw
the thing that said,
Sony says,
we expect Amazing Spider-Man
to reach a billion dollars.
Really,
that's too much.
Then we look at it,
and we're like,
no,
it's within the realm of possibility,
but like,
Amazing Spider-Man 3 is,
Amazing Spider-Man 2 is tracking
to be the lowest selling
Spider-Man ever.
And then
Fox,
Fox can blow it all
super profitable.
And be like
whatever the fuck.
It's a sign of things to come.
Marvel is the only company
that like,
they,
their direct interest
is not blowing up comic books.
Be sure.
That's their only thing.
Didn't you say
they make more money
on the movies now?
Of course.
They make more money
on movies in front of us.
Yeah.
So like,
they live and breathe
these characters.
They need them to stay relevant.
These other studios
don't.
So they might
be more willy-nilly
about their mega franchises.
And it fucking sucks
that we might be heading to that.
You know?
Oh well.
I think it's a bit
of a non-problem,
but like, yeah,
I get what you're saying.
Don't worry man,
the World of Warcraft movie
is coming.
It'll be out in time.
I don't,
I don't think
it's going to be
a video game movie
this year.
It's not a non-problem
if you care, I think.
But I mean,
we'll just stop
caring about everything.
Yeah.
That's the old solution.
Always an option.
You want to hear something
I don't care about?
What?
Watch Dogs.
Oh.
Yay!
I also don't care.
Here's the deal.
Watch Dogs,
there's a GAF topic
that says that
Ubisoft pipeline
piping out that
Ubisoft gameplay.
The most accurate thing ever.
It is the most
Ubisoft
license-free
brotherhood formula
game ever.
It's very competent.
I'm enjoying it,
I'm playing it,
and I'm liking it.
Yeah.
But holy shit,
is it the most
yeah,
derivative game ever?
Okay,
or whatever.
It came out on Tuesday.
Yeah.
I played it for an hour
and I hadn't touched it.
I hadn't booted it up
yet.
I bought it.
There are two
problems with that game.
One of which
is kind of new
to Ubisoft games
and the other
is,
is kind of a problem
they've had
for a while.
Yeah.
And it is,
are you guys familiar
with the term ludonarrative dissonance?
Yes.
Yes.
It's,
how come Nathan Drake
can kill so many dudes
and be a happy-go-lucky guy?
It doesn't make any
sense, right?
Sure.
This game has
the worst ludonarrative dissonance
I have ever seen
in any game
in which
you are a vigilante,
you are a crime stopper,
you are stopping the bad dudes
via violence
and vigilante justice
and hacking,
obviously.
So say you see a guy
literally
steal a lady's purse
on the street.
I know exactly.
And you are chasing him.
You motherfucker,
I'm going to protect Chicago.
Don't steal.
And as you are
running this guy down,
you have your phone out
and you are stealing
thousands of dollars
out of people's bank accounts
as you run
to catch the thief.
Oh.
And you can
savagely beat it.
And savagely beat it.
And you can see
these people's incomes.
You can see
that you pulled
$1,600 out of a guy's
bank account
who only makes
$17 grand a year.
And you are chasing out
and viciously beating
her snatcher.
Well,
there's nothing wrong
with the vicious beating
for the guy who stole
from an old lady.
It's just like
the stealing on the way
is vicious.
And the whole story
is like that.
The whole premise
is that
what you're stealing
is more important.
Aiden has to get revenge
for a family member's death.
Yeah.
That, you know,
having as a result of him
being in the business.
And his response
is to dive
super deep into the business
and I don't care
what innocent people
I hurt
like my niece got hurt.
How many security guards
were you almost
somewhat forced to kill?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Just dudes doing their job.
But fuck them.
It's like
he's the walking
embodiment of hypocrisy.
Yeah.
And the other problem
is that he is
the walking embodiment
of hypocrisy
and he is also like
playing a sheet of cardboard.
Walking around.
Yeah.
He's the most boring
non-characters
he's caught.
All right.
What if Batman's fortune
came from the people of God?
Right.
Yeah.
So like he goes
from going to say
hey little nephew
oh it's tough
oh I'm here for you guys
are you here forever Aiden?
Yeah.
I'll never leave you guys.
Oh there's someone
hacking your phone
and taking my card
and savagely beat him
while she's on the phone
and me saying
don't do this Aiden.
No shut up.
Okay.
So and it gets weirder.
It gets really weird
because the whole point
of the game is that
the CTOS system
has combined all of
Chicago's like infrastructure
and personal information
and the cops have information
on everybody
and he's trying to protect
his family.
Yeah.
His family
that lives in a house
that his sister owns
under her own name
that he regularly visits
and one of the first
quests in the game
is somebody
from the evil hacker organization
is paying dudes
to harass them
in their home.
Okay.
Yeah.
So in addition to that
Aiden doesn't do a very good job
hiding his identity.
People know
who Aiden Pierce is.
His name
comes on the news.
Yeah.
Wow.
Like how can
how can
everything be connected
and he's trying to protect
his family where
everyone knows who he is
and everyone knows where
they live.
Yeah.
It makes no sense.
Yeah.
The game is fun.
So yeah.
Yeah.
What a fine like
it plays good.
I really like the online stuff.
I think the online stuff
doesn't.
I think everything about
the game is painfully
average.
Yeah.
And I am once again
exceptional
the exceptionally disappointment
disappointed at
every team
when you talk about it
without the splinter.
You're right.
I do talk for a little
every team
in Ubisoft
with exception
of the splinter cell team
is completely incompetent
at stealth gameplay.
Yeah.
Every time.
And I hate it.
And it's not
no better this time.
I hate it.
No better.
It's so obviously
it was going to be
Assassin's Creed one
and then they delayed it
to add more side content.
So to make it
to make it
Assassin's Creed two.
But the base
was still just this kind of
yeah.
It's like
fucking regular
oatmeal.
Yeah.
I'm enjoying it.
I went to EB games
and I said
one watch dogs
and they swapped out
a regular oatmeal
and I said
thank you for doing
and then I was like
why did I
it is not
the next gen
your pants
are going to fall off
your legs with semen
well not
experience.
Let's not forget
that the hype train
was rolling way
yeah.
So you're coming off
of those feelings
but that's also because
there's also
there's stuff in this game
that feels like a launch game.
Like the characters
faces are terrible.
Like they're awful.
Like they're good.
They're not as good
as like the order.
But they look
they look worse
than some games
his sister.
Yeah.
She looks worse than Lucy.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
So what I would
the general impression
not just from well now
driving is terrible.
It's so obvious that
this is the first
Ubisoft game where
they had you drive cars.
All right.
Yeah.
No.
It's all right.
Everything's all right.
It's just okay.
You need to
upgrade your driving
skills
on the draw skill
not greater than
the sum of its parts
but the parts are
solid.
That being said
go get the bases
and then
I want to say it's solid
because I don't think I can
advocate it to anyone.
I don't think that's a little
hard to say.
No.
So you're having a negative
time with it.
Go play AC four or GTA five.
You're going to
Assassin's Creed four.
I like better so far.
It's it's so nothing.
That being said
neither of those games
have the hottest girl
the dragon tattoo style.
That's true.
That is true.
Awesome.
Very conspicuous
trying to hide it.
She is trying to hide it.
She is trying to hide it
and is like
failing at her first
she they're trying to hide
that character's
French accent
because it's Chicago.
So why would they have
a Ubisoft Montreal
person in the fucking game?
But it's so thick
that when
that character's voice
is being modulated
you could still hear
that.
Her first
unmodulated dialogue
includes the word
Callison.
Fuck.
That's our hiding
at that point.
Well, yeah.
Well, I felt like she was
now I heard that there's
that's that's the main
character artist's
girlfriend.
Like that.
Yeah.
Follow me.
I heard that there's other
other Canadian characters
in the story.
There always is.
Yeah, but it's starting
to get real conspicuous.
But that's cool.
I don't mind.
But it's like
it's like in Dead Rising 2
when there were these moments
where when Chuck
and Rebecca Chang were talking
or like these motherfuckers
aren't from America.
These are some Canadians.
Because every now and then
just every now and then
you just get a little
it was all sorry.
Just a little
you just catch it like suddenly
or just a little bit
of that Torontoism.
Yeah.
Day of Sex being the only
piece of media in the world.
That's like, you know,
it's rad.
The fucking Olympic stadium.
Yeah, you know,
I'm the only one
because the Olympic stadium
sucks fucking shit.
Fuck that building.
I can't believe there's a fight
in that stupid elevator.
Yeah.
So like, I don't know,
the best bit of Watch Dogs
for me was hacking
the rabbit toy
where you can hack it
and it just goes,
wah.
And the worst bit
was everything else.
No.
I don't know.
I just think it's so
I don't know.
The worst bit is
some of those admission
titles or things this week
that was better than that.
Tons.
Tons of stuff to talk about this week.
Like what?
I don't want to derail our
Watch Dogs.
I think we're done.
I saw Godzilla's.
Godzilla's great.
Like the part where Godzilla
was raw.
That's the better part.
That's the better part.
Yeah.
I saw it.
I saw it with the Mrs.
who was terrified
of flying on planes
and who just took
a huge plane flight.
And when we got to the point
in which Godzilla is literally
stomping around an airport
and destroying planes,
just fucking freaking.
Good times.
Yeah.
Blarious.
But yeah, Godzilla's great.
I really appreciate the
the super move thing.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
It's awesome.
It's super move fake out
near the end.
Or he goes to do the thing
and then they're like,
nope.
And I'm like,
was he going to do the thing?
Yeah.
Yeah, he was.
Fantastic movie.
Spirit of the Way is great.
Awesome.
Maybe I should have seen it
like 10 years ago.
Guess what?
You're going to like
the Musician movie.
Maybe.
Maybe.
Go watch Ponyo now.
That's the one that
ruined Matt's life.
I hope I like that one.
What?
That's the one that Disney
fucked your channel on.
It ruined my life.
Yeah, it ruined it.
It made it better.
Yeah, I know that.
No, it was movie Castle.
Yeah, I fucked that movie.
I saw that one in David.
Yeah, that was the one he did.
And that's the one,
that's the reason why I never
pursued music movies.
Sure, yeah.
This is like,
Not the best place to stop.
Fuck House Movie Castle.
I was living in Castle,
fucking shits the bed,
like 30 minutes before the end
where I was like,
I don't want to watch this movie.
This is the end zone.
Oh, look, it's Vulcan
and he's got a hat.
He doesn't have his cap close, right?
But to be fair,
I was living in Castle.
Go watch Novel.
That's the list.
To be fair,
The House Movie Castle was
written by Slap Your Wiener.
Slap Your Wiener.
It was based on some British book.
So like last week on the podcast,
I was looking forward to my girlfriend
coming home on Saturday.
Wiener Slaps.
Too many?
Four is too much?
Wiener Slaps.
So last week on the podcast,
I was hotly anticipating my girlfriend
coming home on Saturday,
which was two days ago.
However, as I did before,
she lied through her teeth to me
and came home a week early,
arriving the day of that podcast.
So if you listen to last week's podcast,
there's a bit where I asked Matt to see X-Men
like halfway through
and he kind of shrugs it off super hard.
They're like,
No, we can't hang out with you today, Liam.
We got to do a podcast super early
because we're all waiting.
And then I'm walking out with you
and I'm like, you're going home, right?
How do you get home?
You should go home.
Yeah.
And I didn't expect anything
because Laura had told me how many times
she couldn't come home early.
It wasn't possible.
And then she was there
and you guys were all in on the joke.
Didn't she sneak attack you?
And everyone was like,
Yeah, shut up.
I texted your mom and it was like the eagle has landed.
Yeah, I saw it.
It was funny.
It was funny.
Now we can talk shit about getting to your mom.
Yeah, she knocks on the door
and she has a fucking party favorite thing
and she blows the thing
and it goes toot really loud
and it scares the shit out of me
and I've opened the door just to crack
and I immediately slam it shut.
I'm like, who the fuck has opened my door?
I opened it.
Good thing you forgot your training.
Yeah, exactly.
You're taking training.
She doesn't wear an ideal mask.
Yeah.
Well, she later told me
that she wanted to print a deal mask
and say,
Hi, you thought it was your girlfriend
but it was just me, Dio.
But she thought that wasn't a good idea
and I wouldn't find it funny
to which I had to correct her
and say,
No, that would have been the funniest thing.
No, never second guess yourself.
Always do the dumb thing.
Exactly.
Providing you didn't snap her neck
first.
That would have been hilarious.
Sunlight, get off.
Oh, my God.
No.
You just don't get the fuck out.
You've been a little embarrassed
at imagining it.
Of course.
Of course.
But yeah, she tricked me
just like I tricked her before.
Aw.
She made you guys
all a bunch of cupcakes.
She does cupcakes.
She does all the cupcakes.
She does.
Here's the woolly cupcakes.
Oh, my God.
Individualize.
Laura, I know you're listening to this.
Thanks.
These cupcakes look awesome.
Look.
These cupcakes.
Thank you, Laura.
Tell us more about your week
when we eat these cupcakes.
I played Watch Dogs,
which was just like,
I heard about that.
It was like looking out the window
at rain.
That's how I feel.
It's at P1, P2, P3, P4.
And they're cute colors.
And they're color coded.
Yeah.
You're yellow.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm going to shove these
in my mouth.
Shuffling.
Wow.
I call these cupcakes, too.
It's hard to.
It's hard to get in there,
but just like slap your fingers.
It's hard to get in there.
It's hard to get in there.
It's hard to get in there.
It's hard to get in there.
It's hard to get in there,
but just like slap your dick around.
Cupcakes are now ready.
Just wrap your dick around it.
Yeah.
I can't get into my box
without getting all the creamy
shit all over my hands.
All the dicks?
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
It's not how you're supposed to eat them.
Go on.
I played Mine Zero,
which is like,
it's all right,
better than Conception 2,
not as good as Demon Gaze.
I played Draking Guard 3,
but like I'm only slowly
making progress
because there's so many games
that came out this week.
I really like it so far.
I stayed super far away
from all message board shit,
so no spoilers.
I started playing
the Bureau XCOM Declassified.
Wow.
Yeah, I know.
Why?
Because I was always interested
because I love that
60s era.
Yeah, sure.
And it was $10 at EV this week.
And you were like,
what's your thoughts on it?
It's like a fun little
tactical shooter,
nothing horrible about it at all.
I've never seen a game
get slammed so hard
for not being a different game.
Yeah, exactly.
It's like,
it's when they originally announced
that shit.
It was just XCOM.
It was the new XCOM.
Yeah, I was like,
fuck you.
Yeah, they presented like that.
That's the new XCOM.
By the way,
sorry to interrupt.
You guys know about
like cupcake tech
right here
where you don't want to get
your hands dirty.
So you rip the bottom
of the cupcake off,
you put it on top,
so you make a sandwich,
and now you got a truly
cupcake.
Fuck you, and fuck your shit.
Fuck your tech.
No, it's not tech.
That's bastardizing a cupcake.
It's evil shit right here.
Yeah, so I don't
actually like that.
You're doing your own
cupcake for yourself.
No, better.
I'm not making a mess.
I'm part of it.
The beard mess is necessary
to a cupcake.
All that cream.
It's necessary to love
things.
I'm sure.
Yeah.
I saw X-Man,
and it was good.
I heard about that.
Yeah, it was a good movie.
I don't know.
All things considered,
the amount of media
I consumed this week
kind of made it so I couldn't
put any decent time
on anything.
Oh, I played
Mario Kart,
so I'm sure
a bunch of us
played Mario Kart.
Mario.
You all need to shove
your fucking asses
out of your fucking face.
Correct yourself.
No.
Yes.
I talk like that.
No, you fuck off.
No.
Mario.
You guys are assholes.
Yeah, we know that.
You guys are shit asses.
Tell us about Ryan Dirty.
Yeah.
Yo, Luigi's pissed.
He's giving the most
gangster ass shit.
It's not a good one.
So, when you
finish a race,
when you finish a race
and you go into that replay
and you press the slow
mode button,
you can see tons of that
crazy dumb shit
all over the place.
I'm not sure.
That slow mode was amazing.
No, I can't wait to play it.
I linked to it
in the section,
so you guys can
go check it out below.
But there's a gaff thread
where people just made web
m's and gifs
and YouTube videos.
I'm just Luigi's fucking face.
Luigi's fucking face.
He's got the fucking
death glare on him.
He's so angry.
Like, who said the
year of Luigi ended?
Who said it?
No one.
Good times.
What do you
think so far?
It's good.
Yeah, it's good.
Better than all the rest
of them?
Is the race
feeling good?
No.
Well, think again,
because that shit's moving.
1.2 million copies in
two days?
Yeah, that's more than
what we use out there,
so they must have sold some.
It bothers
down with the devil,
though,
but they're the same.
Sales in the UK
are up 666%.
That's not kosher.
Despite the lack
of real numbers.
Who knows
how much that
actually is.
It could be a zillion
billion,
but or it could be
negative zero.
It's probably around
100k.
What's
here is that
whatever percentage of zero
is still zero.
Yeah.
Well, like,
if you don't go into sales,
Brad, that's a joke.
I know, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I played a shitload.
I played way more Mario Kart
than I fucking did Watch Dogs.
No, not actually.
Yeah.
That's better driving.
Unlocked.
Yeah, it's better driving.
More realistic.
Yeah, but
aside from that,
like I did,
like I had my parents over
for dinner,
made them dinner.
The first time they've been
over to the place.
I said they did.
And I kind of screwed up
the dinner a little bit.
What did you make?
I made that Korean dish
that we liked.
Remember the noodles,
the black bean paste?
Jam jam yum.
Did you poison your parents?
No, I just,
it was just a little bit
more sticky
than it should be.
So mission's available.
Whatever.
It still tasted fine.
Other than that,
I realized that my
fire alarm
in my place today
works really well.
Oh, awesome.
Because my
fire alarm is wired
to the fire department
and they showed up
in like three minutes
before I could turn
the alarm off almost.
What triggered it?
I was making
your fucking cooking?
Yeah, yeah.
Okay,
you gotta be careful with
that shit
because they're going to
get real tired of you.
Yeah, no.
This is the point
like I've moved in
since March
is the first time
that's happened,
but I was making
some bacon
and fucking
making pancakes,
making bacon pancakes.
And just a little bit
of smoke.
Yeah!
Yeah.
And just a little bit
of smoke
and then the alarm goes off
and you go,
what the fuck is that?
Because I never heard of it.
Never heard the alarm before.
And I go down
and I'm like,
oh shit,
I'm trying to turn this off.
I go upstairs
and the Mrs.
is messaging me
from her work saying
the fire department
just called me.
They're coming.
I'm like,
what?
Hold on.
I thought you were ready.
A bunch of brilliant
wanted to take my fire
axe and be like,
yo, bro,
yo, what's up,
what's up?
And they're just like,
oh, is everything okay?
Yeah,
it's been a long time.
It's gone off.
I'm really sorry.
They're like,
how handsome
and or burly
were these firemen?
They were burly.
I wouldn't say they were
really handsome.
They were like,
calendar handsome as you
are.
Not calendar handsome.
Okay.
But it was like good guys.
Just saying,
like,
oh no,
I burned it.
Other than that,
so what we know
is what I've been doing
is I've been steam rolling
gem in the holograms.
Gem in the holograms.
Soon to be turned
into a major motion.
Not a major
motion.
I'm super buttered
because Matt won't let me
watch it.
I need to finish it first.
Then you can watch it.
But that show
surprisingly holds up.
I'm getting ready
to invest it.
I bought it
for my girlfriend.
But she,
because she was like,
I love gem.
And she's like,
why are you into this
more than I am?
I'm like,
look at fucking gems cost
you.
What the fuck is that?
What's her hair?
Why is it not up?
Yeah.
Right?
I'm like,
oh, this is a terrible song.
I'm gonna get into
Jenna's back story.
I'm getting
really deep in there.
I want to watch it
with you guys.
So after that
we're gonna set it in.
Yeah.
Not quite.
No, you and your couple
is time.
Yeah.
You want to watch it
as a fucking couple.
I'm sorry,
I'm not going to have you,
her and I cuddled up
in the bed together.
Well,
fuck off.
We have to
dance around
attack on Titan
for months because
of that shit with you.
Yeah.
You want to come
watch it with me
Why not?
That's all we want.
You just never act.
You get to decide
which side I sit on.
This channel's heading
in a weird direction.
It's always been
heading in a weird direction.
And finally,
aside from this one,
Laura,
very kindly made us
what, four cupcakes each?
Yeah.
I just had one, but
I smoked them off.
I'm done.
Yeah.
I had two.
I just had one
because today I'm
starting a 30 day
like, no, nothing
thing.
Oh, like,
well,
you saw that picture I posted
just like,
like only
Yeah.
There's a girlfriend's doing it.
She's like,
can you do it for a month
with me just to help me?
And I go,
I'll try it.
I'm not going to be able
to do it.
So what are you cutting out?
Sorry?
What are you cutting out?
Everything.
Things that
And you feel that
is in a package.
Okay.
So guys,
you know what we all
need to do?
Yes,
what?
Packaged food
in front of him
to show him
that he shouldn't
That's all cereal
because that's all that's
really packaged.
You can just
eat a thing of soy sauce
or anything.
Yeah.
I don't know if we're all,
but like,
I feel like
besides Liam,
who's always perfect,
we're all trying a thing.
You've got that going on.
Pat,
you're doing your calorie counting.
It's working.
And I'm doing my
eight second sprints.
I'm not
Fuck your
eight second sprints,
motherfucker.
I'm not perfect.
Just watch what I eat
all the time.
Sure.
Yeah,
but you weren't done
for a decade.
No,
I haven't gotten to that
decade yet.
Apparently,
you never hit that moment
where you woke up
and you're like,
wow,
I'm a fucking
piece of shit.
Damn it.
Just to clarify,
the eight second sprint
thing is
you sprint for eight seconds
and then
you slow jog
for 12 seconds
and then
alternate between that
for an hour.
You can apply to
and doing
and it's apparently
the equivalent of
jogging every day.
Right.
So,
that's what
the science
apparently says.
I'm sure to read
this week's e-mails.
Yeah.
Yeah,
you'll find out.
Matt,
did you know that a single
peanut can power your brain
for 24 hours?
No,
it can power your brain
for over one hour.
Over
24 hours.
That's 24 hours.
Remember kids,
so you don't need
to eat much.
No,
you see a single peanut.
Yeah,
I read the article.
Right.
But I haven't seen
anyone do it.
I am.
Okay.
You know,
like the science is there
but I want to see someone do it.
I question your
scientific literacy.
Well,
no,
the article
is the article too.
I read it.
The reason why
no one's doing it
is because it's
fucking hard.
But that's what I'm saying.
When I see someone do it,
I'll be like,
you know what,
that's eight,
yeah,
yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because the actual results
are just like,
these things are like,
there's a study that like show,
like it was all documented.
There was a guy
that went to McDonald's
and ate like the healthiest thing
on their menu every day
and just did regular exercise.
Lost weight.
Yeah.
Lost like three.
Yeah,
that supersized me guys.
Full of shit.
Oh,
he played it up.
But then he ate all the worst stuff,
for example.
And he forspent himself
the worst stuff.
Even when he was like,
I can't eat anymore.
So there's
all that stuff.
I guess we were really busy
doing like,
what do we make?
Six?
Kind of stuff.
Six videos.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We did four yesterday,
which was like,
We talked about it a bit
at Anime North,
but a new theme month
is coming up in July.
Not going to say what it is yet,
but it's new.
No WrestleMania this year,
because there's no good
world wrestling games.
We did all of them.
There are less than
62 wrestling games
in the world.
Hey, wait, wait,
let me think for a second.
I know this is slightly off
topic,
but Liam,
is this going to be your last
local podcast for a little while?
Yes, it is.
Okay.
I'm in Japan for two weeks.
Awesome.
I was going to talk about that.
You'll be reporting.
He's taking over prefectures.
He's taking over prefectures.
He's taking over prefectures.
He's taking over Japan.
Oh yeah.
But you'll still be on the podcast.
Yeah.
By magic.
By magic.
Exactly.
By upon magic.
By upon magic.
You're going to be
fucking jet-lagged
and like whispering
because it's going to be
at a weird hour.
It shouldn't be,
it'll be in the morning.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's a 13 hour time gap.
It'll be fine.
It'll be fine.
Yeah.
Like bring a robot.
Get Hideki.
Yeah.
Nice.
Yeah.
Just grab Kamiya off the street.
I'll find him.
Yeah.
I know where he works.
Just the sounds of like
kidnapped mufflings in the background.
Yeah.
No.
Lure him with Katerade.
Katerade and Windex.
Katerade and Windex.
Yeah.
Just make a squirter trail
into your house.
Yeah.
Can't tell the difference.
Into your hostel.
Colored fluids, really.
I'm staying in an apartment
that I rented.
Is that,
is that everything
that we did?
Is that everything else
that everybody wants to get into?
Well, then we can,
Well, then the Watch Dogs
is just a bigger thing
than it felt like.
But it's actually
That's what I expect quite a bit.
Yeah.
So then let's just
Well, that being said,
despite Watch Dogs
as a relative mediocrity,
it's the best selling day
one Ubisoft program ever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kudos.
Kudos.
Good job.
Good for you guys.
For sure.
Absolutely.
Yeah.
I mean,
It's not bad.
So I'm not upset.
And that dethrones
the first things first.
Can't stop.
Won't stop.
Motherfucking reading rainbow.
Yeah.
LeVar Burton.
What's it at now?
Two mil.
Okay.
Last one was fun.
It was like five days ago
it was two mil.
And
Hold on.
Hold on.
Check it.
We can check it.
So LeVar Burton
comes out on Kickstarter
and says,
Yo,
Reading Rainbow
as an internet media platform.
Give me
Reading Rainbow.
Does anybody want this?
To 1,500 schools for free.
3.2 mil.
3.2 mil.
With 29 days to go.
And it's
The new goal is now 5 million.
Because they blue patched
their original goal.
You could buy a whole new
work in a cell with that.
Oof.
Shit.
Yeah.
Isn't it like
5 stars, right?
Is he going to make it
off?
Yeah.
Everything at 5 mil.
Because he talked about
console.
Also,
you know what?
Yeah.
Looks pretty good.
He can do another season.
And you know what?
He's had a cool thing going on
where he's like,
Hey guys,
I'm going to be in Toronto.
Who wants to come hang out
at Starbucks?
Just me?
Yeah.
So he tweets and
goes,
Come chill.
Tell me about your
favorite reward list.
Oh,
I can't start it.
Because you've really
heard about this.
He's like,
I don't get it.
So they've got the
normal like tears going for
every level of stuff.
And then the fucking
Trekkie tier.
Yeah.
Trekkie.
No.
They changed it, I think.
It's Trekkr.
Trekkie is the original series.
Trekkr is the new thing afterwards.
Yeah,
interesting.
Yeah.
The more I know.
If you want to
When you read a book,
If you want to
hang out with
fucking LeVar Burton,
wearing the
Jordy LeFord
LeFord fucking
visor.
He gives you
his visor.
And you get to
hang out with him
while you wear it
and take a picture.
Yeah.
What the fuck,
man?
So let's get the room.
Liam,
Liam is totally like normal.
Yeah.
Matt's like laughing.
You're upset.
And I'm just like
biting my lip going like,
mmm.
I got $10,000.
Burn off.
I can definitely
see the appeal.
Yeah.
Because it's like
It's not 10 grand worth.
It's not for you.
It makes sense that it's
smart because that's
going to definitely get
some backing going for him.
There are people that
would pay 10 grand
just for the visor.
Here's an example.
Elijah Wood says
I'm bringing back
like Muppets.
Muppets show.
And he goes,
you get to have dinner
with me
and you get to wear
my stinky hobbit feet.
Wait,
not the ring?
No.
The hobbit feet.
Yeah.
And then
talk to me
and you have to
take me out
for a soup.
At least.
Elijah Wood's
super nice though.
And it's not him
in the costume.
It's you.
It's you.
I don't get it.
No,
but he's like,
you don't have to.
He's going to bring it
to me there.
I have some goggle play
with him.
I appreciate that.
Mr.
I almost said Mr.
LeForge.
Mr.
Burton is either cool
enough or is doing it
for charity enough
that he's like,
yeah, I'll do it.
Like,
there's nothing more
kind of depressing
than like somebody
like Shatner
who is just like,
fuck you,
not Kirk.
It's as funny
you brought that up.
Right.
I distinctly remember
there was an episode
of opiate Anthony
where they were just,
they're showing this footage
of like,
they're talking to
LeVar Burton and like,
he was trying,
like he was kind of
blowing off their interview
God because he's trying
to get Shatner's attention
for a thing
that they wanted to do
and Shatner looks
at fucking LeVar Burton,
like LeVar Burton
looks at the fans.
Like,
he's completely like,
I don't have time
for this.
The fuck are you?
What series are you from?
Get away.
Like,
he's totally just,
I want nothing
and LeVar's like,
oh, but,
we're not the same tier
of Hollywood.
No.
You know, so.
You're lost up.
I saved children's brains.
Sure.
And it's like,
after doing the fucking con
circuit for a while,
what else is going on?
Hey, the children
have to learn
about tech war
sooner or later.
And to be fair,
it is true that
illiteracy
is way on the rise.
No.
But more so,
that one in four
is scary.
I thought it was one in five.
No, they upgraded it.
Oh shit.
One in four.
We're not America.
But more importantly,
like who wants to hear
that fucking theme song again?
Yeah.
I bet you're going to
like do a weird dumb remix.
Oh yeah.
I want the dubstep remix.
Yeah.
Screw it son, that shit.
Yeah.
Butterfly in the
plop plop plop plop plop plop plop.
Man fuck Shatner.
Yeah.
He was a bad captain.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But not as bad as Janeway.
Holy shit.
That's not the crazy
rocket man though.
Yeah, rocket man.
It's a good thing that
they buried him
ground with raw.
It's only a matter of time.
Oh, it's a fitting end
for Shatner to get killed
by a stupid bridge.
Before the wolves
come.
Yeah, no, that's
great stuff.
I'm glad to see that's coming
back.
And I want to see if
they're going to do it
like the same corny way.
Oh yeah,
they had an app
for years,
but I don't,
I don't really look
into it.
I want to see them get like,
you don't have to take my word
for it.
I want to see them get
like the hoppers
from the wire
to be the kids
talking about the books.
Oh my God.
Like getting the nards
in there
and fucking
talking about books
and shit.
That's my money
right there.
That's my money.
At this,
at this,
at this pledge level,
we will add
characters from the wire.
Speaking of,
oh shit.
Have you guys seen
the video called
oh shit?
No, I am not.
Yeah, you have.
I have.
Beast souls trailer.
Oh, that one.
Yeah.
No, not the trailer.
The clips of the clips
that the wind shots
came from.
And it's like,
well now,
in case you don't know
that song,
it's just a demon soul.
Yes.
Yeah.
The alt,
like it was confirmed
before,
but the zoom in
on the door
with the souls
coming out of the door,
like,
it's a soul.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
Did you say there's still
people that are like,
I don't know.
That's what I said.
They're like,
it might be a fake.
What the fuck are you talking about?
You would have to spend
months faking that.
You're going to see that
on stage at E3 or TGS.
And you're going to be like,
I don't think that's real.
I'm making the E3 prediction
right now.
It's going to be the last thing.
Of course.
Conference this.
It's going to be the last thing.
Or the first.
Or the first.
Yes.
Or the first.
But I'm going to know what lasts.
Did we all have that moment
of that?
More of that?
Yes.
Do you know what the moment
I'm talking about?
The blade.
Yeah.
The last thing in the trailer
just like,
flicks it out.
I'm like,
that's the sickest shit.
For me it's a shotgun
because it was the thing that
was confirmed in the little bit
of detail.
That's cool.
That's cool.
But the little flick,
man, I'm like,
is that a taunt?
Is he just equipping it?
I don't know what that is.
I imagine he would be
readying it.
But goddammit.
Overall,
I'm most excited for the guns,
though, because I can't wait
to see how they do that.
It's going to be different
in you, right?
Sure.
It might be a souls game
that has no builds.
It might be that character.
Like, it's possible, right?
I hope not.
I prefer the build system.
I don't think they will,
but it could be.
Or maybe,
maybe just like,
not less emphasis on
like your stats
and more emphasis on your weapons.
Yeah, sure.
You know.
But I mean,
they've had guns before
in old games
from mid, so.
And non-armored core games
in fantasy games.
I have just blown away
at like the level
of like this leak
in terms of how much
Sony's a leaky.
Exactly.
Sony is a leaky boat.
Yeah.
They show too much internally
to everyone.
What was it?
Like two, three years ago?
I know someone.
I know you know.
Who knew about this game
way long while ago.
Oh, one of our industry friends.
Oh, yeah.
I talked to him
and he was like,
yeah, I've known for so long.
Wow.
So they are that leaky.
Okay.
But do you know,
like two, three years ago
when Jack Trenton came up
on stage at E3
and made the joke,
like I'm glad we still have things
to show you.
Yeah.
Can you guys find out?
Like Sony leaks.
Because the thing is is that
because like,
when you're in the industry,
you uphold other companies' NDAs.
Oh, because what?
What?
The secret.
Yeah.
Do you hear something
from somebody else?
Yeah.
Because guess what, man?
Like, hey,
new employee this week.
Oh, cool.
Where'd you come from?
From software?
Yeah.
I was hanging out there
for a while.
Cool.
Let's go off lunch.
All right.
Yeah.
No, almost nobody's like,
oh, man.
Like for fuck's sake,
we know that there's a new PS3
and PS4 model coming as well.
Granted, that could just be
a different hard disk,
but whatever.
Sure.
I expect the PS3
to be a different model
and the PS4 to be.
Do you think after the Super
Sony came out,
like what, a year and a half ago?
Yeah, maybe.
Maybe you're right.
You're probably right.
Maybe.
Better hard disk.
Yeah, well,
I'm just glad for their sake
that it leaked so early,
so they have a chance to
like, move things around
if they want to.
I hope that this was not a thing
that they were planning
for TGS and they have now
moved it up to E3
because everyone knows
because now all that
will exist is that trailer
that we've already seen
one-third of.
Yeah, that's true.
Maybe they'll just go like
we have to show more.
We've got to tell more.
You know, like, who knows.
I trust Miyazaki.
That was a sick ass drop.
The other interesting thing,
which it's fucking amazing news
but also bullshit.
Metal Gear Remake
was officially sanctioned by Konami.
Yeah, it's called
A Fan Remake.
A Fan Remake.
Liam, please explain.
I am so glad that
it's officially sanctioned by Konami
but fuck you guys
for talking about it
in the first place.
Maybe they only talked about it
when Konami gave the offer.
This?
But it's nothing.
No, it was...
Wasn't it known?
Wasn't this thing
already known?
It was known.
And then they got the OK
and that became real.
So in all fairness,
I don't know the circumstances.
If they were doing an outreach
to get staff
because they desperately needed staff,
then it's like,
OK, but damn,
I don't advocate that.
This sets both
an amazing and horrible precedent.
Yeah.
It sets the great precedent
that Konami actually okayed it
and it sets the horrible precedent
that people think
that other companies
or even Konami
will OK if you take the risk.
Don't fucking talk about it.
Maybe that's Konami's fault.
Maybe.
See, now like you said...
How would we make Nanobreaker?
No, he sued.
See, Liam, though,
like you said,
maybe if they're desperate for staff,
then they will go out and go,
guys, we need some help, right?
But if it's not that
and you just want fucking cred
from the fan base,
hold that shit in
until it's done, guys.
Credit or input or anything.
It doesn't have to be
some sort of...
We don't have to, you know,
make them...
No, no, no.
You don't have to be like
gardeners or anything.
But it's like, whatever the fuck it is,
just hold it in.
But if Konami didn't OK that,
all those amazing assets
you showed off
would have been for nothing.
There is plenty of time
to get credit
when it's out
and crappy stopped.
And you're gone, you know?
That's it.
Maybe you don't have to be,
but either way,
once it's out,
is the time to do that, guys.
That being said,
we shall wait, guys,
just on a related note.
When you're talking about
getting staff,
he said he recently
increased the staff
thanks to the podcast,
helping out a bit.
No, thanks to someone else's
podcast.
Oh, thanks to the two best friendcasts.
So that's a different podcast.
Amen.
Wow.
They know about our other podcast.
Damn.
I thought we'd keep a secret
a little while longer.
Yeah.
So it's just 90 minutes at this.
Yeah.
They clap.
We record it under the covers
every week.
No.
That is gone.
I'm glad to know that
we could have helped that
in any way.
And, dude, hey,
we are looking forward to it.
You are always a huge favorite,
man.
We're looking forward
to your product, sir.
Yes.
That looks fun.
So cool.
Congrats.
Then there was just, like,
a fucking ton of trailers
that just dropped last week as well.
Yeah, because we're, like,
pre-E3 moments.
So everyone was, like,
getting out early.
The trailers that dropped today.
Today.
Two big ones, in fact.
The two big ones,
but, like, to take a look.
Let's roll it back.
Is E3 going to be super lame?
Because people don't want
to get caught in the
there's so much.
Try to get ahead of the pack.
But it's like,
is there so much
unannounced E3 shit
that people are like,
we got to get out and run it?
What was that thing
you were telling me that
IGN was doing?
The second of every month
now they're doing an exclusive
reveal similar to
Game Informer's cover thing.
Right.
Good.
But the web-based thing,
which is awesome.
That's cool.
It's really,
it's a really important year.
And I'm expecting
some fucking ads.
It's the year
to sell most people
on IGN.
Yeah.
Well, Sony still has those
four unaccounted
for trademarks.
Right.
Entwine,
Blood, whatever.
Bloodborne could be
totally.
Every company,
I'm looking forward to Blood,
whatever.
Every company is
just desperate enough,
it's just desperate enough
this year
that they've got to make
some crazy shake-up moves.
Yeah.
So,
it's probably going to be
a nuts-busy-packed
announcement E3.
Yeah.
These guys are getting
ahead of the curve.
Sure.
That being said,
reading Gaff lately
has been an exercise
and frustration
because people are making
like,
bold announcements
about the most
non-news things
I've ever seen in my life.
So,
there's a rumor
that there will be
a third-party
exclusive Xbox One game
with no other details.
Like,
fucking
no shit.
A game is coming.
There's a game.
Yeah.
Why?
Oh,
it's being made.
The game's in the streets
and just over?
Like,
there's more?
And this is beyond
the level of
like,
well,
maybe people don't
follow the game
industry that well.
No.
Like,
there is no reason
for that Gaff thread
to have gone beyond
one page.
And we can't get banned
for bitching about it here.
But,
no,
it's like,
if that rumor
was there
a 14
exclusive
Xbox One games,
that would be news.
Yeah,
absolutely.
Because that sounds
like somebody has a list
in front of them.
But it's like,
there's one third-party
exclusive.
There's gonna be
a big one.
You can't say
it's wrong.
They're like,
one last year,
so no surprise.
They'll fuck you.
Yeah,
no,
do it for the blurry piece
of paper.
That's what we need.
Yeah,
exactly.
It's holy shit.
So what trailers
did you have in mind?
Barring today's trailers,
as you had mentioned.
I was going to start off
with Mighty No. 9.
Mighty No. 9,
that actual gameplay.
Gameplay,
gameplay,
gameplay.
That dash looks fucking fun.
That dash looks great.
It's a disability.
We've seen a video
of like,
almost the exact same thing.
Well,
that's one of those things
where I'm like,
just, I don't care
until it's out.
Sure, yeah,
absolutely.
Okay,
it looks good.
Personally, I like seeing
what new levels,
designs they come up with.
I enjoy little moments
like that.
A billion percent
the opposite of that.
I back the stuff
on Kickstarter,
then every single email
that comes in
gets deleted,
unless it's like,
hey, register at the website
for the thing.
I don't want to fucking know,
because it's gonna be a while.
Fair enough,
fair enough.
It looks great.
It looks good.
It looks like a fucking
really number nine thing.
Shinji Mikami.
Shinji Mikami?
No, Shinji Mikami.
Damn it.
What's...
Yeah.
The Fune.
Mega Man game.
Yeah.
Game.
Game.
You speak for a living.
I talk for a living.
You're right.
I speak for a living.
Yeah,
right, yeah.
Liam talks for a living.
Yeah.
We can also,
we can also,
speaking of Shinji Mikami,
we can look a little bit
about the footage that was dropped.
Yeah.
Psycho Break.
I...
Psycho Break.
I think...
No, Psycho Break.
I think the footage
that just came out
is a little bit more reassuring.
There was one shot in particular.
I was like,
that looks good.
Yeah.
It was like foggy village
and it was super dark
and he's going up
to where the save room is.
Thank you.
With the save music.
And the music that you hear
in the distance.
I'm really...
The Ocean's Eleven fucking...
Yeah, yeah,
that track.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm really confused at, like,
preview coverage of Evil with it.
Okay, I want to ask you about that.
I feel like there's a disconnect
between what I want
and what the game...
Previewers want.
Previewers want.
Okay, do you read...
How much of the preview footage
did you read?
Did you read the preview
from...it was on the gap there.
Someone's like,
don't read any of these previews.
Read this one.
This guy.
I have not, no.
Okay, it was from a horror site.
Not a video game.
It's a horror site
called Rely on Horror.
Oh, Rely on Horror?
Yeah.
Rely on Horror.
Exhaustively through everything.
Like, he says something,
like, I read a Destructo review,
which is terrible.
Yeah.
I mentioned it.
It was like, blah, blah, blah.
It was like, blah, blah, blah.
I then went into a room
and died three times.
The game had the audacity
to start me back at the start.
And then he goes,
it was super tough.
Then a woman summons zombies
with all the graphical fidelity
of the PS2.
Also, the controls suck.
Okay.
Then it just moved on.
And then this preview of Rely on Horror
is like, there's a stamina meter
in this game.
You can only sprint for four seconds.
I was like,
I didn't know that.
I didn't know that.
And then it's like,
there's a save room.
There's save room music.
I'm like, I didn't know that.
How granted.
We have to try and avoid
following in the classic
fanboy trap.
Of course.
Of, I know this genre,
better than you know this genre.
Therefore, the game is good.
No, right?
Because in that preview,
it's also like,
but these things,
but it was written well.
It was a better review.
I was like,
okay, fine.
I think the narrative that we're drawing here
is more that we were worried when we saw
that initial impression.
Yeah.
And now it's like,
no, actually,
it seems more like,
it seems more like
some people just don't want that game anymore.
Yeah.
Also,
I would never want it.
Never do.
Like don't have preview events
for horror games.
Yeah.
Almost all the time,
no matter what slice you cut out,
there's no context for it.
There's no,
you don't know what the guy has gone through
beforehand.
It only works.
People were complaining about,
they got shocked when this shit happens.
I'm like,
well,
if this is at the end of the game,
is he still going to be there?
I still have a problem with that.
Like,
I don't understand,
like,
why did you...
We're playing RE4 right now
and Leon doesn't go,
his character model doesn't go up
because he's a player character model
and you retain control of him in all situations.
What matters is that I go,
whoa,
shit,
or whatever,
retain control of your hand.
He sees most gross grotesque shit
in his life.
Yeah.
And he's just like,
yeah,
they're small time,
like,
great,
great,
a funny hero that's like,
fuck you,
fuck your tentacles,
fuck your eyeballs,
fuck your house.
Boy,
I hope that game is good.
I really hope it's good.
Yeah,
absolutely.
Like,
it's one of those things where it's like,
I think these previews are poorly written
and they're done in a bad way,
but like,
I'm still like,
it could be bad.
The footage is reassured.
I cannot remember,
like,
the exact specific problems,
but I remember when people were doing previews
and they cried three build at TGS,
like,
years and years and years ago,
and those were not worth the paper
they were printed on.
They were the most boring,
nonsense shit.
Yeah.
And then I think it was low-high-kang
off game facts,
just fucking snuck into TGS.
Yeah, yeah.
And just spent a whole,
like,
five hours playing the demo build,
and just did this exhaustive,
right up in every single system.
Speaking of which,
I'm sure you've seen that fucking thing,
the mod that where you can switch,
style,
absolutely.
I wish it wasn't attached
to that busted-ass-PZ version.
Yeah, wow.
It's such a shame.
I was gonna do it.
I know.
Yeah.
Um,
what else,
other trailers?
Yeah, what else?
Moving along,
moving along,
we've got,
well,
yeah,
today,
we got the home front,
the revolution trailer
that came out.
I gotta say,
I'm putting a little star
next to this one
just because it's not
on current gen.
Yeah.
Right.
Now,
as someone who worked on this.
We both did.
We both worked on it separately.
Separately.
It came in the last front.
Yeah.
The original home front.
I'm,
the first thing I find hilarious
is that when they cut in,
they show you a face of the dictator
who is not Kim Jong-un.
No.
Because Kim Jong-un
was the prediction
in the future
of the last game,
but now that it's a reality,
you can't fucking keep him there.
So there's some other Korean guy.
Well,
they could only jump further
in the future.
Well, look at their armor.
It's fucking science shit.
We don't have science armor.
No.
It looks like
slightly more advanced versions
of what they already wore, though.
No.
It's just science shit.
No.
There's like,
they're wearing like,
what,
Samus light suit armor.
Okay.
I remember the old guys
wearing old body suits
in a similar manner.
Anyway,
I don't know,
like,
you know,
similar trailer.
Wow.
We sound hyped.
Home front.
But like,
I don't know,
I beat the game.
It's not great.
Don't get me wrong.
It's a,
look, it's a six.
It's not a good game.
No.
But like,
this is made by different guys.
So I'm like,
yeah, yeah, sure.
See what Crytek can do.
Exactly.
Well,
it's not great game designers,
but awesome graphic designers.
Exactly.
It's not the IP.
I would have pointed to one said,
it's free radical.
Yeah.
As well.
Yeah.
Well,
no, it's those ones.
It's as well.
It's those guys.
Yeah.
Crytek UK,
I believe.
Yeah.
It's not the maker.
You point to and go,
I expect a friend.
But maybe they're going to do something with it.
Exactly.
I,
like,
I just,
I was talking to Liam right before we started this.
It's like,
home front one was like the call of duty clone that like,
was the call of duty clone and all call of,
of mediocre call of duty clones.
Like it was the one where it was just like,
Okay.
So,
it wasn't even the first one either.
Yeah.
It was the most like,
that humdrum like reaction though is especially the multiplayer.
And I'm wondering if they're going to go for that the same thing.
Well,
they said there's four player co-op in the story of this one.
Sure.
And it's like an open city.
Try that out.
Do something, you know,
whatever.
When it comes to like THQ properties,
there's like the ones that all these companies got.
It's like,
just when I think of home front,
it's like,
like they think like we have a hot name and it's like,
No,
no,
what they think is the THQ advertise the shit on that name.
So at least people know.
Well, there's that,
but I can just tell you firsthand,
they bought it because they've been working on home front too for ages.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
Our THQ insider.
Yeah.
Exactly.
They've been working on things like a long while ago
and I saw a bunch of it.
Respect.
Boom.
That fucking banner in the old THQ headquarters,
that giant home front banner.
Looks like it just shows you the faith they had in that.
I don't know how recently this came out,
but did you guys see that 53 minutes of Evolve footage that came out?
53?
Yeah.
It's an entire match from several perspectives.
I read about it.
I've already seen a lot of Evolve footage on it.
Yo, that looks like Left 4 Dead.
Yeah.
In the good way.
In the good way.
It's by Turner Rock.
It looks like a 20 minute battle against a tank that has more moves.
No.
Yes.
It's totally good.
Yeah.
Like it, to be fair,
it looks really good two years ago as well,
but it looks really better now.
What other stuff we got?
Mortal Kombat 10.
Yep.
CG trailer.
Yeah.
Put in the camera in a place that makes you go,
is this gameplay?
I don't know.
Well, when I was looking at the shots that were 2D,
anyone would cut your reaction.
It's like, this is CG.
Exactly.
And the thing is, I'm looking at this,
and I was wondering if they're going to come at the end of the trailer
and go gameplay.
No, it's called the target render.
Yeah.
It better fucking looks something like that.
I bet it will.
Because, like, MK9 looked fucking awesome the next gen.
No, it's not animated, animation-wise.
No.
Passet-wise.
Hey, Matt, I'm sure the 360 version will look great.
Yeah, that's a thing that's...
Wait, wait, wait.
Batman Arkham Knight is not crossed.
No, it's not.
It's current gen only.
So I assume for a fighting game,
you want to try to...
Yeah, no, you do want that.
I think the ultimate shock is that it's crossed.
Gen is guilty, you're exiled.
I can't believe that's coming out on PS3.
But then there's so many fucking owners in Japan.
Oh, I know, but you saw that fucking bitch.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, that's the sad point.
Holy shit.
Why the fuck Wiz Khalifa?
Yeah, that was...
The music was like the worst part.
Because Skrillex worked out.
The reptile Skrillex song was a thing.
Oh, yeah, but that was the reason the trailer is like the announcement trailer.
I thought they were just doing, like,
No, it really worked.
I thought they were just targeting the urban youth.
No.
They're always targeting the urban youth.
You're right.
So the thing here is interactables are going to be put in.
The other thing is that we're going to have multiple versions of the same character.
Yeah, that was the big thing.
That was confirmed.
Different versions of the characters.
So all sub-series.
All sub-series.
I like that that's the way the police you went instead of groups.
Yeah, yeah, I...
When I think about it, it should be groups.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When I think of Bust and Slash.
Because it's the first time I've heard of the concept.
Telling Poppy to scram.
Yeah, exactly.
Just you and me.
I hope that if those interactables are like not like injustice where they were there.
So you could see more of the screen.
Therefore, the characters were tiny.
Because when I play a Mortal Kombat game, I want to see the characters as possible.
Also, I hope nothing is busted as the pig.
Pig advantage.
Pig advantage.
Pig advantage.
They're going to have a whole stage based around pig advantage.
Just pigs everywhere.
I'm not a fan of the fact that they kept using cinematic fighting in the press release.
A lot.
Yeah.
Unless that means Dead or Alive 5.
Because they use that there.
Yeah, I know.
Because cinematic fighting in the DOI-5 is fucking insane.
But Mortal Kombat's last idea of cinematic fighting were those dumb like punch you on the way down shit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And those dumb hole things.
Well, that's what I'm worried that had boon things to me.
They decried those.
They said never again to those specifically.
MK is an interesting thing.
I don't know.
Because to me-
That logo is hype.
That big shattery fuck.
With a cat and a cat and a cat.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because MK is a franchise that I used to hate.
And now I don't hate it anymore.
I have some respect for it.
MK has a, let's say, inconsistent quality to it.
This would be the first you'd go from, wow, this game is awesome in MK 2.
To, wow, this is terrible all the way to MK 9.
But nowadays there's so much money in it.
Yeah.
You know, so it's like, yeah, I think that like after specifically like playing it with some of the attorney guys,
getting into seeing what was going on there, like the only real-
I have other gripes, but my major gripe, of course, is the block button.
Oh, yeah.
I was complaining about that too.
But they're never, it's too ingrained.
Yeah.
But injustice, like they know better now.
Because of injustice.
Yeah.
But they can't rewrite mortal crime.
Well, I don't know.
I'd be surprised if they didn't have the option.
Do you guys agree?
I would say in a way that why wouldn't you at least have this as a toggle on the option.
And when you play that attorney, the turning changes.
It changes the way.
Because that changes inputs.
But I know that, but like they have the motion.
It changes everything.
What I mean is that like it lets, it lets, it lets your, no, that doesn't change anything
because the input is roughly the same timeframe.
Whereas the control changing lets you move differently.
You know what I mean?
Because then you have to have things like, you block from a certain distance, but then
you walk back from another distance.
You're just hampering yourself by using hold back to block.
When you really get down to it, you're hampering yourself.
Yes.
The block button is objectively better for like, succeeding.
But you can't really do this.
If you're an unstoppable, if you're an unstoppable AI, the block button is better.
You're super right.
In a world where you offer both, it's not, the characters are different.
When you have a block button character and someone who holds back.
I don't know.
Sorry, not to cut you off, but the reason why they are is because, again, if you walk
back and forward versus, and you have the advantage of always moving versus somebody
who automatically goes into a block state when too close, it's a different state of
character.
Sure.
It's not the same game.
Sure, but like, you know, like in Street Fighter 4, if you map the all three punch
or the all three kick, but you can do a bunch of weird planks that you can't do without
them.
No, but that's not the same thing.
Yeah, but it changes the things you can do that other people can't do them because they
don't have those buttons mapped so you can't do those funny planks with those ones.
Well, no, actually, the only thing you're thinking of is a taunt click and you can do that with
your normal controls.
No, but there's somewhere like, you need to be pressing a button, but you couldn't possibly
without having the all three buttons.
No, you can do it.
It's just easier if you do the mapping.
But in this case, this is like, the character can move in a situation where he otherwise
could not move, you know?
You can walk back and forward, no matter what the other guys do.
But ultimately, you're just hampering yourself by picking a whole back to block at the end
of the day.
They need to pick one and stick with it, right?
Absolutely.
That should be back to block.
Back to block is better.
Yes.
Back to block is better.
They should pick one and stick with it, but you can't offer both because it's a different
fucking game.
Didn't they have the option in Justice?
No.
No.
No, it was still older.
It was universal back to block.
We'll see, but just on a certain level.
I know there are more combat fans that are listening to this and going, you motherfuckers
crazy, getting rid of the block button.
No.
I'll get rid of it.
No.
You went off.
I mean, I talked to a bunch of attorney guys specifically about it and they were like,
they're looking at it.
It was like, we're used to it at this point.
Of course.
I know it doesn't have an actual practical focus because the original source of it was
we needed something to separate us from.
Sure.
That's like, I get virtual fighter or pass because it has three buttons.
Yeah.
Three games in general.
I find work a little bit better with a block one than two games.
Now, if they wanted to, the only way you get that down is if you try to offer grooves.
Maybe different versions of the characters.
Maybe that's what it is.
Then it's like, all right, with an extra button is a little weird because like a street fighter
game where one groove has air blocking and the other one doesn't.
Oh my God.
But yeah, for technical reasons though, that's a thing.
Either way, trailer.
Sure.
Hopefully we get some gameplay of the three.
Yep.
Yeah, no.
It's on the show floor.
Right.
The only thing I didn't like was that thing that I really don't like lately where it's
like persistent online experience.
Oh my God.
Fight for your side or whatever.
Yeah, that's never.
Even in Soul Stack Delta, I hate that.
It's never going away.
I hate it.
It's the worst.
Well, get ready to put it into every single game ever.
I know, but it's such a waste of time.
Just don't do it.
Like, if they have it in Katara Show Joe 2, I'll just end myself.
Guess what?
We're going in and out to reach the sun.
Yeah.
No, that's the only, that's the one where I'm like, yeah?
Because that's, it's built around that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's not like we just added this in as another like padding thing.
Um.
The Movie Boy is like the best game ever made.
It's the best toy.
No games.
It's not a game.
That's no game.
It's no game.
Did you see those two treats by Ed Boon and Ken Lobb?
It was like, hey, MK10 looks great.
We should put Jego and MK and Scorpion and KI.
And he goes, and Ed Boon replies back, sure, let's talk about, we'll get work.
We'll get started to work on KI versus MK right away.
Happy face.
Like the biggest troll in the world, Ed Boon.
Just straight up saying, we are making this game, but we're not.
Yeah.
Like, fuck.
Just give it a year.
That would work way better than fucking Street Fighter.
Absolutely.
Block button is still a problem.
No, well, okay.
Like, I mean, just like worlds.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
We don't have to think about all these bullshit ways like we did in that show we used to do.
We just walk through a portal.
Walk through a portal.
Mortal Kombat can basically go with anything.
Yeah, you got Orchid and fucking Sonya chest to chest.
Sizing each other up.
Dick slap and commences.
Shadow Warrior is coming to current gen.
Awesome.
Good.
I'll play it.
Yep.
Yep.
Back to back.
And belly to belly.
No, back to back.
Guilty Gear, you fucker.
This is a butt thing.
It's coming out soon.
Guilty Gear is coming out soon.
Yeah, but like, when's the date?
This fall.
Cool.
It's happening.
We need a goddamn PlayStation 4 arcade stick.
Oh, it's going to happen for sure though.
Yeah.
Blaze Blue got sticks from Mad Gats.
So like Guilty Gear is going to happen.
Well, I don't care what it comes out for or from where, but there need to be PS4 sticks.
Or you just like get the PS3 version and use your stick and then that's the standard.
No, that'd be terrible.
We're not buying the old version of a fighting game?
No, there needs to be.
Actually, there is a stick.
There is a stick.
Is it good though?
No.
But at the end of the day, there's going to be a stick for Guilty Gear.
Yeah, no question.
Well, if it's not good, you just put the parts you wanted in it.
I don't know that.
But yeah, there's something out there.
I do know.
But yeah.
That's confirmed because I was going to import the shit out of that.
Now I don't have to.
Super confirmed.
Oh, god.
You thought there was a chance it wouldn't come out here?
No.
I was just wondering that it would be in time in 2015 or something.
That's a good point.
That's what I'm doing.
He's making a good point.
Yeah.
Meanwhile, fucking Harmonix.
They did it.
No, not that.
No.
But they did it too.
They did it.
They made their goal, but we talked about that last time.
I just want to say something real quick.
This is why 18 days.
Because they needed to know because they clearly couldn't pay people.
And even then they couldn't.
So what do you mean?
Because they just fired a bunch of people anyway.
But Harmonix made their goal last time that we talked about last week.
Right.
In Kickstarter, Kickstarter, Framplatoon.
However, this week we found out that they laid off 37 employees and they changed CEOs.
Which might be related to the huge pulling back and restructuring of...
What's that?
Bland Shooter?
Chroma.
Yeah, they also...
A music shooter.
They also announced that we're just retooling the shit out of that.
Exactly.
It's not where we want.
I think those are probably related.
That sounds very likely.
That sucks.
There's seven people as a bunch.
That's like six indie games.
Yeah.
And again, it probably would have been worse if Amplitude failed.
And they said that they're still going to be making their games as usual.
I think it's changing as far as those plans go.
Yeah.
And Regopolis is now the CCO.
He's whatever, secondary type of position.
But the guy that is in charge of Amplitude is now taking over as CEO.
Right, right.
So different direction for Harmonix.
We'll see.
Good luck for everybody that got shit canned.
You only see the difference in their direction and stuff after the current round of the projects
is done anyway.
Exactly.
No.
Until like two years from now.
Yeah.
We know what's up.
Instead of like the slow leak of people walking out like Naughty Dog, it's just all 37 in one
time.
All of you guys.
Yeah, well.
No trials.
It's not a pinprick.
It's the pull of the plug.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Million Years Dungeon.
Granted, I'm sure they probably knew it was coming, but whatever.
Still no good.
Everyone look under your chairs.
The people that have nothing under your chair.
Go back to it for you.
Hey, there's a new Sonic character that looks like a Sonic character.
Yeah, okay.
Stick.
Next.
Yep.
Yep.
Fine design.
No problem.
It's not wearing gloves.
No, but that's okay.
But she looks like Sonic character.
Is she a honey dog here?
She is.
A badger.
She's a jungle badger.
Jungle badger.
But I don't know if that's an actual species of badger.
It's probably not.
So it is.
It's like how Nick Knight is not real.
And she's moving what?
Yeah.
No, I didn't hear that.
You're kidding now.
They're not real.
They're totally real, dude.
I don't know if they're real.
They have four eggs.
They have four penis.
You wouldn't know.
They have four dicks.
They play around like tentacles.
Yeah, like that.
Maybe Matt saw it, but I don't know if you other guys saw it.
Did you see the Sonic Boom gameplay today?
I did.
I did.
What did you think?
I think.
Did you see both, by the way?
I didn't see the three you asked for.
I thought there was just screenshots.
There's video.
No, there's gameplay.
There's like some previews went out.
There's gameplay, a lot of different stuff.
I hear Knuckles is not even remotely fast anymore at all.
No, they all run.
He's a slow guy.
Nobody's fast.
Okay, okay.
I think it looked fine.
They don't look like Sonic games.
It's an adventure game.
It's not a running Sonic game.
Oh, so they're going to be better than all the less Sonic games I've seen.
No, I'm super bummed actually.
Sonic has a spin ball attack.
That's like his one thing.
He still has his air attack, but now he's got punches.
He's just ratchet.
What would you compare to Ratchet?
Yeah.
He's just ratchet.
How terrible.
How awful for Sonic.
And the 2D one is not fast.
Okay.
But there's tons of less terrible Sonic games.
There's fast good ones.
Yeah.
Sonic 1, 2, 3, and Knuckles and Sonic CD.
No, but about colors.
Colors is kind of fast, not very.
Colors is very fast.
Personally, I thought the speed aspect of Sonic was overrated.
No, but I mean when you completely remove it and turn it into just Ratchet, it's a different game.
I prefer that.
I prefer that.
I prefer rebooting the Ratchet stuff.
I prefer that.
I prefer that.
Then the steaming garbage we usually get.
You played that werehog shit.
Generations and colors were good.
When they said reboot, it would seem like in every episode.
Plus, I'm glad the Japanese team is still making other Sonic.
I'm glad that all the games were good.
What I was going to go with is that at worst you just wait another year.
Yeah.
No, exactly.
And then you're like, yeah, it's fast.
Oh, I'm vomiting.
It never happens to me.
No, because it's so bad.
Oh, I mean, like, it happens.
I think there's a lot of variety in the footage.
Like, oh, you're doing different things and you can do stuff rather than just run.
That would remain beef with a lot of Sonic games.
It's like, oh, this is one trick game.
You know what?
It'll be forgivable if the game is really fun.
Yeah.
No, and I'm sure I'll play it regardless.
And this opens up the door for Sonic the Fighter 2.
Yeah.
With both sides of the cast.
No, I can't.
Yeah.
American Sonics versus Japanese Sonics.
Yeah.
Amy, range character, you know.
Yeah.
Range as in get out of my face.
Go away.
Get as far away as possible.
I need you to be long range.
And fucking...
People think big the cat's the problem.
No, it's Amy.
Amy's the downfall.
Big's a plus, even.
Amy was the first one after Knuckles.
Cream is worse than Amy.
Oh, yeah, but...
Cream is worse than...
But Cream isn't as much stuff as Amy is.
Yeah.
One of my favorite news.
We're fucking that little cute thing from the little creature from Warhawk.
What the fuck was that called?
No, he's the worst.
What?
I know.
That's what I'm saying.
What was his name again?
Beard.
What?
Stupid thing.
Oh my god.
I hate that.
No, no, no.
I've seen more Fast Sonic games.
Don't say that's worse than Cream.
I'm unleashed.
That's worse than...
I want more.
Anyway, it's too easy.
One of my favorite art things this week.
Costume Quest 2 details.
Yeah.
Nice.
And the funniest fucking thing.
Who's publishing it?
Uh...
Majesco!
Oh, I didn't catch it.
I didn't catch that.
Oh shit.
You're used to die.
The best fucking thing is now you can play as Candy Corn.
Yeah.
You can wear the Candy Corn costume.
And become Candy Corn.
And it's so good because it's just like all what that means is you're playing in hardcore
mode.
So it's like if you wear the Candy Corn costume, you can't fight.
It's just the title for the entire game.
And every time you go to do a move or whatever it's your turn, a new string pops up that's
just like Candy Corn has nothing to prove.
You know, our Candy Corn is going to sit this one out.
That's pretty good.
I love it.
I love it.
Don't you mind just horsing around having a good time?
If you guys haven't played the first one, you really should before this.
Very charming.
Yeah.
Very fun.
Fun stuff, man.
My favorite monster was the fries.
I believe it.
Yeah.
And if you're looking for a game for your girlfriend still, Willie, first Costume Quest, that's
charming.
Yeah.
You should just play it on, unfortunately.
Oh, your place?
Yeah.
Like here?
Yeah.
It's comfy here.
I'm sure she'd like it here.
You should show her your apartment one time.
Probably.
Probably.
That would mean letting her out of there.
Out of there.
Yeah.
Plus nine.
What's next?
It's letter time.
It's the kind of joke thread that I'm suspect of.
Okay.
No, it's not letter time.
I lied.
It's time for a word for sponsors.
Oh, okay.
Books in your ears.
That's what we're pushing this week.
That's what we love.
What?
We're pushing books in your ears.
Okay.
Willie.
That's kind of crazy, but if they fit.
I've tried it.
What?
It hurts.
There goes blood everywhere.
Yeah.
I can barely hear you right now as a result.
You have to go home.
Maybe you just need to get good.
Maybe I need to get good.
You need to get good.
And I tried everything.
I tried just raw jamming it.
I tried paper machining it.
You tried the little books?
Yeah, the little books.
The little books.
And I even tried grinding it into mulch and then pouring it into my ear hole.
You can replace the word books with anything.
Anything.
Anything.
Anything.
But right now we're talking about books.
As you tried Audible.
What?
I can't hear you.
Audible.
All right, here we go.
What's Audible?
Audible is the service that gets you all the books you want to hear in your ears.
I don't understand.
I thought I had to just jam it in.
Audio books.
Audio books.
You have to jam it in.
That was the missing puzzle piece.
This is the new generation of books in your ear.
Sound waves.
You listen to everything you want to hear and then it goes in your ear and then you have
it in your brain.
That's close to my brain.
Pat thinks it's three hours of the sound of someone turning pages.
No, they're reading the words.
Yeah, exactly.
You know, when they prototyped audio books, that's what they had going on.
But then they eventually realized, no, we've got to get someone reading the books.
Get that audio dictation.
Exactly.
You sound like a comfortable voice.
The old name of audio books has remained.
Does that mean I'm not going to get that weird ink bullshit all over my hands?
Does it go in my ear and stabs it?
You know when you hold a page too long and then your thumb messes and smushes up?
You know those parts of the page and you're like, fuck.
This book is ruined.
I need a new one.
That does not happen with Audible.
You also can't drop an audio book on your fuck.
There you go.
So if you head on down to audiblepodcast.com slash bestfriends, you have 30 days to try
out over 150,000 books to choose from.
I can't re-listen.
Yeah.
That's too much.
We take you like a month.
It's so much.
It's great.
No, no, no.
And with the slash bestfriends code, you get a free audio book to download and listen to.
Free audio book.
So hey, you want to hear five hours of Tina Fey talking to you about her life?
I have a dream about that.
You can go listen to Bossy Pants.
What?
That's the best name.
Yeah.
That's Tina Fey's audio book.
You can go listen to her reading to you and it's great because Tina Fey is great.
And then you can make sure you get around all the editors bullshit.
Yeah.
The editor was like, no, you can't do sentences make any sense.
You got to change it so it's great.
Good grammar.
No.
This is my brain.
My brain don't work good.
And Tolkien spits out on the floor.
Exactly.
Tolkien fucking hates editors.
That's true.
That's the most bullshit shit ever.
Exactly.
So you get that shit the way it was intended in audio book form on audiblepodcast.com slash
bestfriends.
Thanks Audible.
Thanks Audible.
Thanks.
Pat, you keep telling us about the one piece.
I would not say I keep telling you.
I can't remember the last time you mentioned it.
I have mentioned it on occasion because I was binge watching it.
You had that manifesto one.
And you'd be like, hey, Pat, what are you doing?
I can't escape.
But it's got the pirates in the stretchy rubber fists.
Yeah.
It's like ocean based dragon ball.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, if I wanted to watch more boats.
Absolutely.
I'd probably want to watch as much of it as possible.
And there's plenty to go through.
In a single sitting.
Yeah, you could buy.
Over 700 episodes on here.
In a single sitting.
In a single sitting.
Yeah.
You get the catheter.
You get the food out.
No, you know what you do?
You just saw out the bottom of your chair and put a bucket underneath.
No, you live in a trough.
Yeah.
That's called getting good right there.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's how you get good.
Where can I get good though?
I'm, where can you convince yourself to poop in a bucket?
I don't know.
Why don't you tell me?
Who plus is an amazing service that offers you.
All right.
They can't possibly have all that one piece.
They've got over 750 episodes or one piece.
That's incentivization to not move from your chair.
Right.
Now, we just cause we are saying you can poop in your chair and watch all the one piece
you want.
Doesn't mean that's not an official endorsement.
Not at all.
You can figure out a better system like perhaps pausing.
It's just a recommendation.
Or create a system of tubes.
Yeah.
No.
To be fair, this is how people listen to our podcast for the last six months or so.
For series of tubes.
Yeah.
You can pause like a bitch if you want, but if you don't want to, you can do whatever
you want and watch all the one piece you can.
I doubt it.
Huluplus.com slash super.
What?
That Huluplus.com slash super.
And when you go to that specific URL, you get yourself two weeks free.
So you can get as much of those 715 into your eyeballs.
You could probably get two weeks.
Like all the way through like six arcs.
Yeah.
In that amount of time.
Yeah.
You could go.
You could fucking go.
And you get to find out about like Zoro and shit.
Right.
Zoro's all right.
Zoro's all in the dove and Zoro's.
Really?
Oh fuck.
You can confirm that shit right now.
That's Huluplus.com slash super.
Two weeks free trial with that URL.
And it's usually about $7.99 a month.
Give her a take.
If you like the service, you keep it going.
It's a fucking magic reindeer in that show.
Yeah.
And it gets super buff.
And he talks to this tiny, tiny little girl.
I don't understand.
No about that.
Yeah.
Oh, let's get on that shit.
Yeah.
Go get Huluplus.
Thanks Hulu.
Thank you Hulu.
Thanks.
Now it's letter time.
Oh shit.
Yay.
That option select.
Nice.
Matt.
Do the.
Matt.
We have huge brains.
If you want to pick them, you can do that by sending us an email at super best friend
cast at gmail.com.
And let's be very clear.
It's super best friend cast.
Not super best friends cast.
Exactly.
I clarified for the dude that asked me on Tumblr.
That's a reasonable question actually.
Because it is.
But then you have to go to the website and how did you get there if you didn't type
the thing.
Shut up though.
If you have a question.
One of our questions.
You send it over there.
This week.
Did we get any this week?
You can talk.
We got a couple.
Oh good.
You can ask us a question.
And then Wally's going to read all of them.
And he's going to throw out 90% of them.
Yep.
And then we're going to read the worst ones.
Yep.
Only.
Yes.
If you send in a question, it hasn't been asked.
Uh huh.
And you're like, why, what, why?
It was such a good question.
It was a good friend.
Because it was too good.
Yeah.
We would have looked dumb.
Yeah.
We would have looked intellectually stupid.
And how many penises do we kidnas have?
It's too much.
Four.
Oh shit you know.
We really seem to have that down.
Yeah.
I saw that, that, that.
That YouTube video about the kidnas are so fucking weird.
Look at this thing.
Yep.
One for all of us.
Yep.
Nope.
It's a slap.
I get the top left one.
Four player mode.
Um.
Yep.
Yep.
Ace wants to know.
If Ace anyone has not followed the joke.
That is a mock sound of a slapping dicks.
What do you mean mock?
It's in.
Well.
It's mocking.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're going to reiterate all over these letters.
Come off Pat talking about Ace.
Ace wants to know.
What is the worst official translation you've encountered?
Oh.
Now, not in terms of voice acting.
But in terms of changing the story or spoiling it beforehand.
Well, Resident Evil is things you can play for it.
Or just plain stupid.
Breath of Fire 2 on the Super Nintendo.
My favorite.
Well, that's according to the person.
Oh, sorry.
I'm cutting it off.
Yeah.
My favorite according to Ace's favorite is Mannequinia.
On the PS2.
The main protagonist's cat sulfur calls the girl a bitch.
Even though she's actually just telling him to stop spacing out.
It's a little bit, a little bit much.
Get out of my face, bitch!
Yeah.
Symphony of the Night is cheesy, but not that bad.
But in Japanese it makes a lot more sense.
Sure.
So what do you think is your worst?
Breath of Fire 2 just has errors everywhere.
Typography errors and like bad spacings.
You end up with like one word dialogue.
Oh, bad localization.
And it's not written well at all.
It's just pure on all angles.
Can you think of anything where like it actually changes the story?
That's just the first one that came to mind.
Okay.
The Resident Evil series has a long history.
I remember reading this exhaustive like breakdown.
And it's basically the people they've gotten to localize the files in those games.
Don't do a very good job.
And that's where most of the Resident Evil's plot holes come from.
Is that like the background files explaining how things work.
They're not accurate.
And in some cases things have been completely made up.
And it just tears open plot holes.
Yeah.
That's interesting.
Is it a lot less plot holy in Japanese then?
Like am I to believe that?
Oh, okay.
Cool.
I might be wrong because I can't remember the source here.
There's a lot too.
But it's easily believed.
That seems like the kind of place where you don't want to skimp.
I think we'll not change the story.
I think we all know that functionally, like a translation that was so bad that it made the game worse,
is that a lot of Simon Quest's problems are because all of its hints and things are just flat out lies.
And incorrect things and doesn't tell you how to access certain parts of the game.
Absolutely.
And for me personally, just a really bad, like this is atrocious, I'm stopping,
is I watched a sub of Cowboy Bebop years ago that was like,
speak, we have to go to the Mars.
Oh.
Which means spikes.
Chinatown.
Yes.
Chinatown.
We have to go to the Mars.
Yeah.
And black jet.
Yeah, yeah.
We have to find black jet.
What's the fucking one from Ghost in the Shell with Tokusa?
It's the best.
It's a classic.
It's a screenshot of him saying something.
Whatever.
Anyway, for me, I'd say Old Boy is probably the most criminal because the dub straight up spoils what's going to happen.
Seriously?
Yes.
Wow.
Due to shitty voice acting and implications.
Hey.
Not.
Oh, sorry.
Keep going.
Like though it's mainly the script's fault, the changes make it so that you can totally figure out what's going on
way before you should have.
Nice.
Since we're talking about shitty dubbing, it bears mentioning that when I came in here,
Wally, you were taking a look at the Kill the Kill dub trailer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Wow, it's bad.
It's really bad.
Nonon is perfect.
Nonon is perfect.
Great.
Nonon is perfect.
Perfect.
Everyone else is fucking God awful.
And it's not even just the acting or it's not just the script.
It just doesn't work.
To me, I don't see it as like God awful.
No.
This is what I expect.
It's the norm.
Right?
Yeah.
And what I expect is I'd rather watch the sub.
Yeah.
To me, that's just like this.
It's the titan dub.
Oh yeah, the titan dubs.
Even worse.
Even worse.
Ashley Burch as Sasha.
Perfect.
But everything else.
I would never.
But that's just it.
I live in a world where my expectations are only a few handful of things are worth watching.
But you can't get the persona voice actors to do everything.
You can't do it.
But when I say that, that's not just a group of people.
That's Limo, Brian, Troy Baker, Laura Bailey, like top, top talent.
But you can't get them for everything.
But it's also the person in charge of voice directors.
Absolutely.
Because they do.
There's so many moving parts.
Infinite takes until it comes out good.
Street Fighter 2, you must defeat Shen Long.
That was awesome.
That's one of the worst ones.
But it's great.
It didn't misdirect the plot too hard.
Absolutely insane misdirecting so many people.
It made the plot change in the future.
Sure.
For whatever relevance there was.
That's probably where I go for that one.
Thanks Ace.
Good question.
Translate things good, Ace.
Yeah.
Do a better job.
Yeah, no.
He's the one.
You're going to slacken, Ace.
Taylor says, Saibatsu, I've been wondering what your stance is on whether Remedy will ever
be able to make Alan Wake 2.
No.
Will the studio close down?
Will Quantum Break explode into a mega IP?
No.
Alan Wake is one of my favorite franchises, and I'd like to hear your thoughts.
Note that every one of those questions.
Well, they didn't kind of make a sequel to Alan Wake.
American Nightmare.
American Nightmare.
I'd like to say that.
If Quantum Break was up, though, then they're just going to put Quantum Nightmare.
American Nightmare totally had the continuing adventures of Alan Wake, didn't it?
Yeah.
Melissa.
Can you ask me?
I think they're going to, obviously, Microsoft's going to push Quantum Break super, super
hard, because it's like their biggest multimedia project.
That is to say it's got the TV show tied to the...
Yeah, there's many invested in it.
And I definitely think if they push it hard enough, which they're liable to do, because
even I'm interested in that, just on the premise that it's by Remedy.
Oh, because Remedy's fucking great.
I think that if it blows up, Remedy's going to become a two-team studio, and we're probably
going to see Alan Wake.
I want to see Alan Wake 2, and I want it to be its original version that was basically
deadly premonition.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that too.
So how do you make the game they originally made?
Yeah.
But that version of the game is way more interesting than the one we got.
Because I have the Arbor Fallen Wake, and it tells you everything they did and tried
to make that...
It was going to be so cool.
They showed a demo of what would happen if tornadoes attacked you on the road.
It was rad.
I think they could make...
Because Alan Wake, well, it didn't sell very well when it came out.
It sold well out, though.
Eventually it sold fairly just like a thick of a million copies.
Right?
An energizer.
Yeah.
I could see them making it in the future, but wait for a long time away.
I just think if Quantum Break's a big success, Phil Spencer's big thing that he's pushing,
if he is truthful about it, is using Microsoft IPs and keeping them alive and stuff.
And I definitely think he's the type of person, assuming he's being genuine, that he'd be
like, yeah, Alan Wake's a thing.
And of course assuming Quantum Break's enough of a success for Microsoft to continue their
partnership.
How different was the original version?
It was going to be Deadly Premonition.
It was going to be Deadly Premonition with Gravity Shooting.
It was an open world game with Day and Night Cycle, and then if you only saw me play a little
bit of Alan Wake, but that's a straight, linear, level-based shooter game.
That's why Deadly Premonition is so weird, because it's that game, but it's bad.
And it came out at the same time.
But it's great.
And that's when the Twin Peaks revival was going on in video games.
The one that didn't actually happen.
That was unplanned.
Did you see that they're re-releasing Twin Peaks on Blu-ray?
I sure did.
They're going to have that 90 minutes of deleted footage that they're going to make into another
movie?
Oh, that's awesome.
That's crazy.
That's like the Django thing, where they're making a Django movie series out of the cut
footage.
I can't wait.
It really is.
Jesus.
I kind of think in general, just as a parting thought, that Gravity needs to realize that
they need to make games in a certain way to become that really successful developer.
If they want to work with Microsoft or Sony or big guys, because they can't just keep
scrapping shit, keep scrapping shit, because the publishers get tired of that for a while.
They made Max Payne, and they coasted on that shit for ages, because it makes so much money.
They made Max Payne too, like a year old?
Yeah, and Alan Wake was in the film for like six years, and it was three different games.
But Quantum Break's clearly going a lot better.
Yeah, it's like, you've got to get the stick out of your ass, guys.
They didn't fucking do it.
They've got to be more than just Sam Lake's face, which is a beautiful thing.
Sam's Lake's face is perfect.
Sam Lake better be in the fucking Quantum Break TV show.
And since they're using all that really sophisticated mocap on your face, he's got to be in it for that.
There'll be an emote.
That's just do the face.
Yeah, do the face. Shut up.
If that show ends up being garbage, which it will be, but the game ends up being really good.
Which it might be.
It's written by the same guy as those.
Yeah, that's my point.
Good for games.
Bad for TV.
I follow what you mean, but since I was the ideal from the beginning and it wasn't something that they shoehorned in,
I think like there's a better chance.
Hey, how was forward on to Don?
Anyone watched it?
I heard that that was fine, but we're not into halos.
The thing, I went as far as to cue it on my Netflix.
I heard that it was great until Master Chief walks in and then it's a math like, oh.
It's more interesting as like a sci-fi war thing than a Halo thing.
Well, look forward to the Steven Spielberg thing.
Lucas.
I'm a big dumb robot, man. I'm going to shoot the guy.
He's such a robot, man.
Take that, Covenant.
Lucas says, so I went with some friends to see X-Men.
Yeah, good work.
I was told to shut up by a guy within five minutes of the trailers playing.
How fucking dumb?
Well, basically, he's just like, did you see that trailer?
About the football movie?
How fucking dumb was it that the black guy dies in the trailer?
In the trailer?
What is the movie called?
Another American football movie.
That was what it was called.
Yeah, it was like the...
What's up, people know.
There's a high school...
How are you going to look that up?
I'm going to type American football movie and hope that Google knows the current trailer.
Die, dies in the trailer.
That thing's going to make a billion zillion dollars and I couldn't care less.
Yeah, fucking thing.
Football movies always make tons of money.
Oh, wait. It's got the best football movie any given Sunday.
Any given Sunday.
You know it?
Garngang.
You'll never find it.
You'll never ever find it.
No, sir.
Stop it.
Stop it. Stop ruining the book.
Okay.
When the game stands tall.
Yeah, when the game stands tall.
That's the name.
You have footage in that trailer of the teacher going like, guys, I know you lost the streak,
but there's still a future for you.
You are class mostly white Americans.
Well, you know what I think though.
One, fuck that stupid thing because you see dude dying in the fucking trailer.
But two, it's probably not what you think.
They probably lost one game and were like, oh fuck.
And then they lost another one.
And then all the fucking guns came out.
Oh, I'm going to blow my brains out.
No.
I'm not good at football.
Yeah.
My life is over.
No.
I'm in high school.
The parents were also in the team.
We're like, no, why'd you lose our streak?
Yeah, yeah.
The parents have been like back in my day.
I was on that team.
We helped pick up the streak.
That movie ended up being like super meta and is about like how fucking crazy nuts.
Like a football culture can get.
That'd be awesome.
Yeah, that's not.
Yeah.
No, I know.
There's going to be a fucking speech at the end of the movie on par with Winston Churchill
sending troops out to Normandy when they're about to go out on the fucking field.
Sometimes you're going to lose the win.
I would like to at least see the movie show, the match that they lose.
I'd like to see that.
Just that part.
Yeah.
Was it a slaughter?
Did you like fumble?
Like, how did you lose?
And then the crowd reaction being like when Undertaker lost the streak.
That black guy with the rear fail.
Legit shook.
Yeah.
Legit shook.
What the fuck?
I don't get it.
What's his question?
No, just did you see that shit?
Did you see that shit?
Yeah, we saw that shit.
We think it's just as stupid as you do.
No, like when the dude died, I'm like a main character dies at your trailer.
Trailers have gone too far.
And you know it's not in the first 20 minutes.
You know that's like the act to turn.
Yeah, yeah.
Like fuck.
All the trailers ahead of us were bad.
I still say off Jupiter Rising.
Whatever that was called.
I was bummed there wasn't an Edge of Tomorrow one.
I just want to say that.
Yeah, that's it.
Sure.
There wasn't Edge of Tomorrow.
No, that was Godzilla.
Yeah, that was Godzilla.
I still say the worst case of trailer bullshit is Japanese Lord of the Rings Return of the
King.
First footage in the fucking trailer, Frodo goes, the ring is mine.
And puts it on his fucking head.
Yeah.
The first shot.
Remember, Japan doesn't care about spoilers.
Yes, sure.
And all.
Every, you and I know about Frieza defeated.
Yes.
Yes.
Japan does not give a fuck about spoilers.
I don't know.
I think it's just like that.
They don't care as much as North America does.
I don't know because guys like Yoko Taro and like everyone at Platinum still makes a big
effort to not spoil anything.
Yeah.
Also, you're talking about a twist at the end of nine hours of movie.
Yeah, yeah.
Come the fuck on.
I mean, were you watching the casual edition?
Yeah.
Yeah, get good.
Yeah, I know, right?
You didn't go to all three of them in the theater during a day where you get two meals
paid?
That was a $50 ticket I paid for.
I signed up for that and that got canceled in Montreal.
Oh.
So I didn't get to go.
Not all over.
I'll tell you that much.
Oh, well, you got lucky.
Liam, did I get lucky?
I don't think so.
Oh, man.
Fucking trailers.
Trailers have gone too far.
They have gone too far.
They've gone a little too far in some places.
You can't change it, but you can.
90% of scientists agree.
Cops hate them.
Our friend from, I think, Sweden would be the O with the slash in it.
I didn't sleep in Meijer.
Hey there.
What setting do you generally work?
What setting do you generally?
You love it, Sweden.
Past, present, or future.
What's that?
Do you generally prefer, as a setting, past, present, or future?
I like outrageously far-fung future that people think is the past.
I like that, and I like the opposite of that, too.
It goes so forward or so back that it gets to another thing.
You know, not Pillars of Return.
The new torment, the RPG that got put on Kickstarter,
it takes place in a universe that became so technologically advanced
that when the apocalypse happened,
now nobody knows how any of it works.
It's just magic.
Turn A Gundam is like in a world where all technology is just buried under the sand.
It's just fucking gone, and we're in dark ages, basically.
But it's magic, though.
And we're digging shit.
I absolutely love that setting.
That's cool.
I prefer the present with some element of the future
or the past invading it, like Terminator or Encino Man.
So far-fung future to the point of confusion?
What about Rain of Fire?
That's good.
That's good, because that's an element from the past
being in a post-apocalyptic future, so we got present shit.
I like NeoPractical Future.
Fuck you with the water world.
NeoPractical Future with one amazing element, like Looper.
That's one stuff, too.
Because you can follow the track to how we're going.
I like when you bump humanity back to the 30s to 60s,
so we didn't have instant communication,
and you make them fight aliens.
Oh.
I like that.
Cowboys, resilience.
The premise of the first Resistance, I really liked.
The Bureau, X-Comedy Classified, I'm really enjoying.
Like, you got Jimmy with the Tommy Gun.
Yeah.
He's fighting aliens.
I love that.
So, with X-Men, I got kind of tired of the whole 70s thing,
because they keep going, hey, it's the 70s.
No, look at what we raised, but no.
Look at the sheets.
Look at this butt.
Look at that.
It's the 70s when it's already an established present
or near future thing, and then they go back.
When it's something like American gangster,
where they so nail that period, that's awesome.
For sure.
I don't like it when something that's present.
You just say, let's go back to the past.
You don't need clothing and music cues.
As long as you have a dance on your throat.
You don't need clothing and music cues,
because your world is already telling you the story.
What was that other movie we saw like a year ago
that took place in the 20s?
The gangster squad.
The gangster squad.
Probably the gangster squad.
That one did it.
Yeah, it was super cheesy.
I don't want the post-apocalypse.
I want the post-post-apocalypse.
Yeah, exactly.
I originally thought murderous soul suspect
was going to be in the past.
I thought it was in the future.
I thought it was in the future.
I thought it was in the future.
I thought it was in the future.
No, it's the hat.
It's present.
It's super present.
I thought it was in the future.
No, but like Ronan, you really look at that
and you go, oh shit, this is the past.
It's like, no, it's not.
Current day.
Yeah.
He just dresses nice.
That's all.
Okay, that is kind of like what Kamen Rider W is like.
Yeah?
Yeah.
That's like the thing.
Good question, though.
I like that.
Yeah, that's fun stuff.
Nicholas wants to know,
is one of your family members ever fucked up your game saves
or deleted them or otherwise made you lose progress?
So when I used to rent a game,
my brother, my older brother and I,
we would rent games from the local video store.
And I just think I remember we rented Albert Odyssey
for the Saturn.
For the Saturn.
And that game kicks ass.
It's a very long RPG that's a complete ripoff of Final Fantasy 6.
And we were like, yeah, we're going to play it together.
And we played all afternoon, all evening,
and I had to go to bed because I was like eight years old or something.
When I woke up in the morning, I went to load up the save file.
And he had kept playing the whole fucking night.
And had gotten like 10 hours later.
And it was like all on the floating continent.
I had no idea what the fuck was going on.
And it was like, not what the fuck because I was a child.
I was like, why, why?
He's like, you went to bed.
Yeah.
You still made me go to bed.
That's pretty shit.
It's bullshit.
Your brother seems to have ruined a lot of your video game careers.
Especially around the Saturn.
Yeah.
Especially around the Saturn.
I had rented the Thousand Year Door,
April Mario.
Yeah.
And I had just beaten Rock Hawk and I was just saving.
And my sister was like, I'm going to get a fucking,
I don't know what four year old girls do,
but she ran across the room.
And she tripped over the GameCube and fucking corrupted my save.
And that's why you don't have a little sister anymore.
Yeah.
Duna.
No, no Duna.
Duna.
She's just gone.
For me, I'd say, because I've lost a lot of RPG saves.
In fact, that's what made me, part of what made me hate that for a while.
Me too, but they were all my fault.
Well, that's a thing.
A lot of them were, but the one that I distinctly remember was me being like fucking,
RPG noob, not knowing what's going on,
took me like three weeks or so of playing FF7 to get out of Midgar.
No, okay.
Okay.
So I finally fucking did it and had that moment of, oh my God.
The world spans.
And then my brother fucking formats the computer.
It doesn't tell me.
Yeah.
And along with that's progress, I lost my Mugen creation.
And all my fucking Dragon Ball gifts.
No.
That's the precious one.
Those took ages to download.
Destroyed me.
Destroyed me.
But his folder titled Rage is still in there.
He backed it up on 45 floppy bombs in the unforgivable porn folder.
Yeah.
My sister stopped playing, kind of like got out of video games,
like when I was starting to really, really get into them.
So she didn't really affect anything.
But the only thing I have that's like sort of similar is that like,
I was playing the middle part of eternal darkness,
wanted to come out and my mom was shouting at me to do something,
like come out for dinner or whatever.
And I was in the middle of a cut scene.
And I can't, she's like, if you don't come down,
we're just, you're not eating.
Like, we're throwing out your food.
And you're like, okay.
You're going to shoot a piss.
And I couldn't pause or anything.
So I just left.
And I was like, I'm just on the table.
Like the sourest face.
Fucking eat this food.
Yeah.
Fucking shit up, mom.
Yeah.
So they go upstairs and then like, it's back in the game plan.
I had no idea what it was until we did the LP.
But I couldn't remember what cut scene it was.
It was in the middle.
As an aside, it's not quite the same.
But I remember, I really liked Shining Force one and two.
You said that.
The Shining Force that we rented from our video store was broken.
And the battery that kept the save file going didn't work.
Oh, nice.
So we'd rent it.
And it's like, well, we can't die.
And ended up over the course of like three, four months late,
we totally fucking beat that game.
Starting from the very beginning every single time.
That game's awesome.
I had to do that with fucking Namco X Capcom.
I borrowed a PS2 for a weekend and just left it on.
Yeah.
Just do it.
Hate yourself, the old.
Yeah.
Did you only hate yourself like 40 hours into that?
Well, when you get to Mission 45 and fucking Captain Commando
and many, many still have not shown up.
There's a problem.
That was the point, yeah.
Dig Dug Guy.
That's the only thing I can remember from Namco X Capcom.
That was awesome.
Yeah, yeah.
Super Rushy Shinsekai.
Fuck him.
You're talking about your parents and shit.
For me, that version was just come eat.
And I'm like, okay, I'll be there.
I just need to save.
Yeah.
And then, no.
Can't pause it.
Right.
And then mom comes over, grabs controller, like not in my hand,
but one that was just there and just throws it on the ground.
And it fucking breaks Dream Gas controller.
Well, of course.
Sure.
And then fortunately, being held together by spit anyway.
And then my good friend's dad, who's an awesome circuit guy,
fucking fixes it and uses gold to put the circuit board back together.
And it's the best controller I have.
Amazing.
Thanks, mom.
Yeah.
He tried to get me, but it couldn't broken.
Parents, if you're listening out there, be attentive to the save systems.
No, no.
Fuck that.
Fuck that.
No, be a good parent.
No, no.
No, be a good parent.
And you, like, come for dinner.
And they're like, yeah, man.
And you're like, shut the fuck up.
I don't have kids.
All right.
But it really would suck if you lose 45 hours.
It does suck.
Yeah.
But that's another 45 hours you get to spend.
From the parent's point of view, that's extra value.
They don't think that far.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Keep this motherfucker out of my hair.
That's why the concept of summer camp disturbs me.
All right.
Because it's like, oh, the kids are home from school.
I have to deal with them.
Fuck that shit.
Out of the house you go.
Billy.
Billy.
Okay.
You need to go to summer camp.
Why?
Because you can't be around.
Why?
Because I need to fuck your mom.
Get out.
Or I need to not fuck your mom.
You're not daddy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He calls himself Star Lord.
Star Lord?
Whatever.
Boom Bada asks.
Bada bing.
How?
Shrap.
Why?
What is your favorite?
I'm a pizza.
And least favorite dipping sauce when bleeding chicken.
It works.
It works.
The pizza's asking honey mustard.
I love honey mustard too.
And I hate like, not ranch, I hate sour cream.
Blue cheese is the one I don't like.
I also don't like blue cheese.
I think blue cheese is great.
No, exactly.
I prefer no sauce.
It's the next.
Yeah?
That's not the question.
Have you not seen this?
Yeah, I have.
What's the question?
What's my favorite?
I'm going to say Portuguese spicy sauce.
I'm not a Portuguese sauce.
I don't give a shit.
That's a good question.
Piri Piri sauce or a mysterious slice.
All the stuff that you get at the awesome Portuguese chicken place here.
Yeah, Billy.
Yeah.
So like a specific restaurant.
Romano's, Gano's.
All those chicken places in Montreal here that are really good.
They have a specific Portuguese chicken sauce that's awesome and spicy.
Yeah.
I love that show.
Calm down.
What's the worst?
I don't know.
I don't know.
A fucking chocolate?
Let's see if I can.
Butchers.
Damn it.
I beat you.
Why are you saying damn it?
I was getting, I was, I was just stand up ahead in which you beat me.
Hot garbage juice.
Yeah.
No butchers.
Not a fan of butchers.
Freshly squeezed.
Freshly squeezed on the butt.
I'd like six wings.
Hold the buttjuice.
Hold it.
Are you sure it's on specialties?
Now you can release.
No, I like to watch you hold it.
Some old guys like, ugh.
I dumped that ass.
Ed.
Ed says.
What is that?
Subject.
And it was about dumping ass.
Subject, throw us a bone.
Throw us a bone.
Ed says.
Hey, dudeers.
Ah.
Fan of the podcast.
Yeah.
When you guys talk anime, manga, comics, and indie Japanese games and shit, I have no idea
what the hell y'all are talking about.
Look it up.
I was wondering if you could throw listeners like me a bone and try to give us 60 seconds
of sports analysis every podcast.
Why do you like our podcast?
Let's just do it.
Okay, so.
In recent news.
Did you see that game?
The football man ran across the field.
Sports ball.
We're talking about sports ball.
Sports ball.
Hard.
Hard.
We had the hockey round recently.
Yeah.
The Montreal logo.
He had to wear the jersey.
And I know my friend who works at the bar.
It was really nuts.
Yeah.
So they probably won.
And they won.
Montreal beat the New York, Florida.
Yeah.
They were passing around the handball with the stick.
No, but the Jimmy Fallon, he challenged our city.
Yeah.
And then we had to go all with the.
I think there's a baseball team in Japan called Tigers.
They're cool.
Yeah.
They kicked the ball real good.
Hey, you know what, guys?
My city's better than your city.
Well, okay.
And we can judge this by a group of men playing a game.
On a serious note.
That's the one bit of sports analysis that everyone can get in on.
Is that my city is better than your city.
We can prove it.
Yeah.
I hope we don't have a huge, huge winning streak and then we have to break it.
That literally happened.
I'm sorry.
I don't know why you like.
Sorry.
You get crushed by the Expos this year.
Oh, no.
Wait, what?
It reminds me.
Dave Lang.
Expos are dead.
Dave Lang totally wears an Expos cap all the time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No.
It's like if you're a cool guy, you wear those.
Expos cap.
So what's Dave Lang doing wearing?
Aren't you wearing your fucking Yankees hat right now?
Yeah.
It's because it got in New York.
He confused it for fun.
It smells like pizza.
It smells like breadsticks.
Oh, God.
I'd eat that hat.
I'm so desperate for breadsticks.
I can't eat bread on that diet.
Then I can't eat bread.
That concludes sports.
Sorry, man.
Like, I like playing football.
I like playing some sports.
They're fun to play.
I'll watch a good hockey game.
I fucking, I like playing golf.
I don't, I don't even mind.
I'll watch women's volleyball.
Are you going to watch it or are you going to just listen?
I'll listen.
Sorry.
But maybe next week we can start your 60 seconds.
60 second quarter of sports thing.
Okay.
Sports thing.
Yeah.
Sorry, man.
Divergent interests.
Sports ball.
We're big turbo nerds.
I still, I didn't get it.
You know what?
I don't have a podcast, but I hate 90% of the podcast.
Yeah, you know what that is?
That's personal charisma.
Ah.
No, we're dweeboids.
That's what we are.
Turbo nerds.
Yeah.
It's like a grab on the glasses.
Dweeboid.
And it, and it's too shy to ask anyone to come into its mouth.
So it's.
Wow.
That just hit the ear of bad.
Yeah.
It's too shy to invite anyone to get eaten.
Yeah.
It's not much better.
You're getting there.
Let's move on.
Sorry, Ed.
Thanks, Ed.
Way too shy.
Yeah.
I hope it's not.
A dad in his 50s going, oh, I was hoping for some sports car.
All those guys talking about that.
I hope he is a football.
Yeah.
Just a leather face.
No, you know what?
We should get John Madden here.
Or like, or like Ed doesn't understand who I am aware he is dead.
Yeah.
But, you know.
He's not dead.
Get him in here.
He's not dead.
He's not dead.
What?
He's not dead.
What?
Are you actually serious?
I thought during homecoming we talked about John Madden and totally died.
I don't even remember the house.
Okay.
Well, his commentary will be about the same.
Yeah.
You know what?
You know what was there?
You know what was there?
They got to get the football to the other end of the field.
Whoever scored the most points might wind up winning the game.
Hey, I might not know.
There's a beach ball on the field.
I might not know anything.
I think that boys are arguing who's going to go get it.
I might not know anything about sports, but fuck Don Cherry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
My dad hates Don Cherry.
Yeah.
Fuckin' anti-soup.
There was a really funny event on AVG where he talked about sports games with Madden.
Madden 93, Madden 94, Madden 95.
And he goes, he goes, who the fuck is John Madden?
Look at him.
He doesn't look like an athlete.
He's a giant white guy.
Hey, Joe Rogan is cool though.
Joe Rogan is cool guy.
He's a sports guy.
He's a comedian.
Did you hear the no?
He's a UFC fan.
You shut your mouth.
He's a comedian.
He's going to fight a jaw guy that talks shit about him.
And Dana White's going to make it a legit no.
That's bullshit.
Anyone who believes that, you're dumb.
No, I think people believed it because they wanted it to happen.
Didn't you?
Yeah.
Well, maybe we didn't all see it.
There was a clip of Joe Rogan teaching GSP how to do a kick.
And GSP's like, oh shit.
Okay.
Remember when you heard that Uwe Bull was going to beat up low tax?
Yeah.
And you were like, that's bullshit.
Yeah.
And now there's footage of Uwe Bull beating the fucking shit out of low tax.
Well, he low tax agreed.
Man, you know, what are you going to do?
Low tax was crazy.
What's he doing?
Uwe was an amateur boxer.
He wouldn't challenge you unless he had an idea.
Yeah.
You're not going to challenge people to a boxing match for all comers unless you know one thing
to do about punching people in the face.
God, man.
And finally, last question of the night.
Oh shit.
Robert wants to know.
Hey, Robert.
Hey, Bob.
As someone with no fighting game skills, I'm curious as to what the way Eleanor's Healing
Ultra would be profitable to a damaging one.
My best guess is that a total scrub, who doesn't actually need to hit the opponent to change
the game, can use it to get our life back.
Am I right?
Is that the right track?
Love, you guys.
Thanks.
As a troll.
No.
Ultimately, the most important resource in fighting games is arguably your life.
If you have more, then you have a better chance of winning.
It's a trade-off.
It's a trade-off, that's all.
I mean, like, Gutex explained this well in one of his things.
That's Ryan Gutierrez.
Yeah.
But he's basically like, a lot of the way people go into fighting games at first think
they're going to play the game is, I'm going to damage you and hurt you until you're dead.
And that is probably not the way you should be playing the game.
Not at all.
In fact, it is certainly not the way you should be playing the game.
Like, I'm going to protect myself from getting hurt at all costs.
If you have that mentality, instead, you will be much safer and more conservative and protect
your life, because your life is your currency.
I guess a really easy way to just demonstrate that idea is a damaging ult, you might not
hit.
Because you get nothing.
Healing ult is always going to hit.
You just have to have a good setup for it.
And the whole protecting yourself thing makes you want to go like, I'll do safer actions
instead of taking huge risks.
She has great footsies.
And so it's a nice character to give that kind of move to.
So ultimately what you end up seeing here is in a situation where the guy who's using
the healing ult is playing on par with the person who he's fighting against, they can
play, remove about the equivalent level of damage from each other at the same relative
pace.
And then he can clear the guy out, do a throw, whatever, back off, get some health back.
Like he did put damage on the other guy.
It helps if you want to play it lane.
If you want to play turtle, then it's great for you.
I remember seeing a round of third strike where a guy backed off to time out the Elena
and the Elena heals and ends up winning against the time out kills the other guys.
For not knowing, that's great.
That's super great.
No, it's totally the equivalent of taking damage off if you guys are playing at the same
thing.
If you go at the same scale level, relatively, or if you're beating that guy.
If you're getting beasted on, and like you need to do damage because you can't get in
on the other guy, then fucking it's worthless to you.
It's going to give you a second shot at failing.
The ultra can, the damaging ultra can in some cases for a lower skilled player be it successful
Hail Mary.
You can sometimes get lucky, even if the other guy's better than you, get lucky on your read
or you just randomly throw it out and it hits and you're going to win.
But for the healing one, if that person's better than you, you're going to lose.
He will continue to do that and then continue to beat you.
Doesn't matter how much health you have, he's going to take it or whatever.
Of course the Hail Mary ultra, when it gets blocked, is punishable with another ultra.
Oh yeah, absolutely.
It's punished with healing.
Like, oh, he's just punishable over healing.
If it takes long enough, you certainly can fucking heal in the meantime.
It makes Helena's double ultra very appealing.
Yes, but they fucking gimped how much you get back.
Of course.
Of course, heavily.
She's in the 60% bracket, right?
Yeah.
And healing on double gives you one hard punch back.
If not one hard punch back.
I thought it gave like 240 or something.
It's not a lot.
Oh, that's two hard punches.
Or a hard punch into a special punch.
If you play her right, then you do the footsies, you build up that meter,
you do a red focus, get the ultra anyway.
Yo, that game comes out tonight.
It does not, well, last night.
Tonight.
It doesn't come out tomorrow.
It comes out tonight.
Tonight, tonight, tonight.
Yeah.
Yeah, at 9 p.m. Pacific.
Actual midnight for us.
It's already out for you people at home listening to this.
Unless you do that thing, we put the podcast up early again.
Yeah.
Mike.
Are you just putting it up as soon as it's done?
Yes.
Okay, cool.
The early, the early people get their hands on it as soon as they can.
Take that worms.
And I release it officially the next day.
But if you are fucking, you're like, I want to go there.
If you're an early bird, then you go there.
I'm bringing you the podcast right now.
What is going on on the watch this week?
Oh, God, I forgot to tell, I forgot to tell a story.
I completely forgot to tell how God had bledded me in this week.
Go ahead.
Oh, let's start with that then.
All right.
So it's quick, but it has to do with Mario Kart.
I have people coming home.
It's okay.
Take your time.
Okay, fine, fine, fine.
Oh, we got the time.
We're good.
Okay.
So people are coming over to play Mario Kart.
Okay, great.
I'm going to have four people in.
We're going to play Mario Kart.
It's going to be great.
Put Mario Kart in the thing.
We use system update.
Fine.
Right.
But my game pad is dead because I haven't left it plugged in.
And because the IR, we TV thing, it always runs down no matter what, because it's always
on.
Right.
So, okay, fine.
I'll plug it in.
Guess fucking what?
Won't charge.
And because of that, I can't get past the firmware screen.
Yeah.
Because you need the touch screen.
Because it says use the game pad to do it.
Yeah.
So myself and the missus spend a very tense couple of minutes discussing how to fix the
thing or however it is, it is going.
And she gets it totally working at which point I immediately go, Oh, I have to test it unplug
it.
And now I will never be working ever, ever again.
So game pad is dead.
And I can't figure out if it's the game pad or the fucking cable.
So, luckily, I have the old battery that I had when I upgraded it.
That one's charged.
So I have to screw off the back, open it up, pop the battery, plug it in.
Now I can get through the firmware.
Wait, when did you replace the battery?
I was mad.
It was the last blighted thing where he couldn't, doesn't know what a screwdriver is.
Yeah.
I had to borrow it.
They didn't give me a screwdriver.
Anyway.
So pop it in.
Okay.
Great.
The firmware thing on the Wii U.
It's updating.
It's updated.
I'm at the title screen.
Great.
So I want to do some more troubleshooting with the cable.
See the fucking cables fucked.
Because I don't want to call Nintendo and have them take three weeks to send me a new game
pad or some shit.
And all your friends are looking at you like let's play Mario Kart.
Yeah.
At this point, at this point, that people are there and time is pressuring me and I'm
being nervous.
Everybody's watching.
I redo all the battery issues.
Everybody's watching.
Everything's fine.
Yeah.
Yeah they are.
The streets is watching.
I plug and shit in.
I'm trying stuff out.
No AC.
It says AC adapter on that fucking Wii U game pad.
There's no AC adapter in the world other than that proprietary piece of shit that works.
Okay.
Can't get it to work.
Say fuck it.
Whatever.
Mario Kart doesn't need the game pad.
Right.
I'm just going to use these two pro controllers.
I'm going to use these two Wii mounts.
Let's fire up Mario Kart.
Turn on Mario Kart.
Mario Kart needs a fucking patch to go.
Day one download.
Day one download.
How come I didn't have one?
You can skip it though.
I don't know.
It's hard to skip it when the fucking prompt that comes up that says use the game pad to
fucking go through this menu.
So I pop it again.
I take the old busted battery.
I put it in.
Did you make that gaff thread?
No.
It sounds like you made that gaff thread.
I made that gaff thread.
Finally out of working.
Go to Nintendo's website.
Play the cable.
Pay for overnight shipping.
Which only starts once they process it.
Which can take as long as they want to.
So then I go down to Vespa and I got some bullshit rocket fish cable charger bullshit.
And I got lucky.
It's only the cable that's fucked.
It's not the game pad.
There you go.
What the fuck?
Like that is-
I didn't you test any of this a minute before everyone came in?
I started testing it 45 minutes before they showed up.
This long?
Yes.
Because unscrewing the back of that thing is tough.
Why did you-
Not when you don't have the right screwdriver.
Why did you fucking continue the testing when it got temporarily working?
Because I'm an idiot.
How has God blessed you?
That's the barely.
No, but seriously though, like say my Wii U game pad was just broken.
The fact that even though I want to play games that don't use the Wii U game pad at all.
It's tied to like core system level features.
That's crazy.
It's almost as if you should be fired and their family exiled.
No, I don't think that's- but come on.
It would-
Not executed exiled.
It would be the equivalent of like the Kinect Xbox on not working and the system can't be turned on.
Yeah, I got you.
Right?
Like, it sucks.
Could you imagine a world where we lived in where that would have-
Yeah, exactly.
There's a lot there.
Like, there's no reason for all that system functionality to be tied purely to that controller.
It should definitely all work with the game pad.
Especially since the controller's always dead because that IR thing.
Like, I should be able to turn that off.
I should be able to say, I don't care about Wii TV.
Turn that off.
Keep the battery.
Persistent life.
Yeah, it's totally on all the time.
All the time.
That's why the battery runs down so much quicker than say a DualShock.
I don't know for sure.
I'll have to get some night vision goggles and check that out.
But yeah.
So-
No, seriously.
To see if the IR is on.
Fuck that shit.
Yeah.
Fuck Nintendo's website.
Cool.
Their website sucks.
Yeah.
That'll give ya.
I'm gonna put Kamen Rider Double on the watch.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Kujoi City.
Kujoi City.
I'm really looking forward to murdered Soul Suspect.
So I'm not gonna pick that up till after I come back from Glorious Nippon.
Yeah.
Otherwise, I'm looking forward to Glorious Nippon.
Hold on.
I agree with Liam.
I'm looking forward to Liam leaving.
And, um...
Ice cold.
Ice cold.
Ice cold.
I'm looking forward to-
I'm looking forward to Soul Suspects.
It looks really interesting.
Even if it's bad, I think it'll be interesting.
I think you will enjoy.
I have faith.
Yep.
I think it'll be pretty cool.
And I did not know it was a current-gen game, also.
Oh, yeah.
Like, when I got announced, I thought it was only last-gen.
And it looks a lot better on current-gen.
Well, that was the second announcement was we're doing it for everything.
Great.
And I'm gonna be diving into more Deep Space Dying.
So, that ain't cool.
Star Trek shit.
It doesn't work in that show.
Although, I still know about Cisco.
After our next podcast, but they get confirmed today that they're gonna show Killer Instinct
Season 2 on Tuesday.
That soon?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Jesus.
The Microsoft Conference.
So, I also hope that Microsoft will send a giant novelty check that they won't.
Yeah.
To my house.
But we will make one.
I can't-
We will make one.
We will be made out once more to look as though we received the K.I. Box.
Yes.
K.I. Box.
And we will send her to come back in the form of Dave Lang on fire.
Ooh.
Imagine if-
Is he just like digitized?
It's just Dave Lang.
Yeah.
It's just a big fat dad like guy on fire.
I guess all the voices and everything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All of the good.
And in the voice acting, you can hear Keats talking shit.
Yeah.
In the background.
They recorded and looked in the back.
So, like Dave Lang's intro.
Like, I will destroy you.
In the background, you're still feeling.
We know Keats.
How can we get out on that money?
I don't know, man.
What?
You think the guy-
A lot of K.I. cash going around.
Oh, exactly.
Yeah.
Wish we could get some of that.
Maybe one day though.
Maybe one day.
Maybe sooner than you expect.
Or maybe never.
Is there a business deal though?
No.
No.
There's this kind of negative-
There's always-
There's always some-
Oh, I guess we're shooting.
Yeah.
There's always money in the K.I. stand.
Yeah.
Man, is there better-
There better be a fucking K.I. character
in the next version of Divekick.
Like-
I love that.
And put-
Put-
Put Dive in fucking-
At least in the background.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
As reset.
But it's-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a Super like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
like a super-
Super-
Like a super-
Super-
Super-
Super-
Super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a-
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a super
Like a super.
Like a super-
Like a super-
Like a part of you that are
landed in-
Like a part-
In with you'll be,
you'll be-
With life.
You'll never know what you're
furniture will've been,
or what you'll be dealing with,
and what you'll be doing to
anyone.
And the rights.
And a while.
Um.
It's, it's like-
It's like money?
Shake razors.
They have it.
They have it.
They have a little tag on it.
Oh yeah, yeah!
Ah I was gonna get you that
in Japan.
It, it was so good!
And you just see like,
like, I like an anime guy
getting a shave.
Yeah.
And he's still tight'n.
But like Mikasa and
fucking Levi-
They have it.
They are cutting
the fucking hair off-
They're cutting the,
they're cutting the-
The fucking hair off-
That's pretty good.
It's so good.
That's pretty good.
Oh God.
Not bad.
Um.
Uh, what's coming up?
Yeah, what's coming up?
Uh, that one off,
uh, that we were supposed
to do last week
is coming up this week?
Yep.
Liam?
Yep, totally.
Uh, playthroughs will continue.
I feel like we're closing in
on the end of RE4.
Yeah, we're not.
We're not.
Yeah, you know what?
You're totally right!
You're totally right!
Uh, Barclay's coming up.
Barclay's coming up.
Personally, loving the fact
that, um, there's,
there's dudes that are like,
uh, will he destroy the
Nuzlocke footage
and he's just not saying anything
about it?
Nuzlocke's back!
Oh no!
Oh, what happened to those
theories, you guys?
Uh.
And I-I-I'm sorry to the people
on Reddit that, like,
had to deal with all the spam
of, like, what the fuck
happened to the point
where a sticky had to get
right about it.
Yeah, a sticky stopped
asking about Nuzlocke.
Nuzlocke continues
to exist.
No, you moderator guys
are the best.
Yeah, no, seriously.
Just give it a chance.
There apparently was some fight
on that Reddit page
because there's a sticky on
there that's like,
I think it's because of
the RE4 lists.
Oh, yeah.
Aw.
Maybe if I wasn't so shithin'
RE4, it'd be better.
Maybe if I wasn't so shithin'
RE4, it'd be better.
You can see the fuckin'
Source Filmmaker video
for, uh, Triple Traffat.
I sure did.
That's a good stuff.
That's a good stuff.
Excellent.
I gotta add that to the
playlist.
I completely forgot.
That's a good-
Oh, good, because it deserves
to be there.
Good work, Matt.
Uh, yeah, we have
our anime north video.
We've got some videos coming.
And, uh, we took a quick look
at three cool Japanese indie
games that I edited
today, but I didn't realize
that that was two hours of
footage.
It's heavy.
That's a true way.
It's pretty girthly.
And, uh, and, you know,
there's-
Sorry.
Well, not it.
All right.
After you.
All right.
My thing's lame.
Well, no, just, uh,
Pat and I played a game.
And-
Does that go up to swing?
Possibly.
Maybe.
Maybe.
We'll see.
Maybe.
But it will-
There's another Pat and
Willie playthrough underway.
Yeah.
So it's gonna happen.
There you go.
I hope you like it because this
will be around for a fucking
while.
Maybe.
Yeah.
Probably.
Yeah.
And of course we're all going
to be watching for E3 next
week.
Yeah.
Granted, that's next week.
It's on the watch, but like
next week will be so-
What are you watching this
week?
Next week will be so close
that stuff will be happening.
But like stuff is already
happening.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And you know, and we're
gonna kind of figure it out,
but, um, instead of doing like
the eight hour podcast, we're
probably going to have a very
long, long time.
We're probably going to have
a video thing.
Yeah.
Do you guys want to talk about
that or-
Well, we're not 100% sure what
the plans are.
Yeah.
Sure.
But we're-
I'm not around for that.
There will be some press
conference coverage of some
time.
We're gonna do something.
And we're gonna, you know,
we're gonna come back and
obviously talk a little bit
here.
You want to look at my dumb
face while you look at Bill
Spencer's dumb face and-
Combine.
And he says-
And he says a thing and then
I say a thing, it might do
that.
Hey, I was gonna say that,
Phil.
I'm gonna be off.
Yeah.
Fuck you.
Oh, he's gonna say hello.
He's gonna say hello.
And hello.
Oh, I'm a prophet.
And then he just phatomed us
three.
I'm a prophet.
Oh.
No one knows what that is.
Everybody knows.
Never stop being a fucking
dragon.
I love that.
Whatever you do for the
love of God.
I hope that guy comes back and
makes him-
Of course, yeah.
Of course, yeah.
Yeah, man.
We got stuff.
I think we're done, man.
Yeah, we're done.
I think this is the time of
the podcast where we just-
The trail all the time.
I think we now realize that we
both still feel bad about
Game of Thrones.
Aw.
Aw.
Aw.
Aw.
Bye, everybody.
Have a good week.
Bye.
Thanks.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.
Bye.