Castle Super Beast - SBFC 061: There's a Skeleton Inside Each of Us, Waiting to Burst Out
Episode Date: October 7, 2014Murder, mayhem and malarkey are afoot! Naruto is ending, and Woolie will be damned if he doesn't take responsibility for killing it himself, whilst abroad in Japan. Meanwhile the boys air their Smash ...woes, and polish their Persona boners.
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You guys, you guys, you guys, I did it.
What did you do?
I did it.
You did it.
I killed the Ruto.
Yeah!
I killed the Ruto.
I killed the Ruto.
It's really weird that as soon as Willy goes to Japan, the author of Naruto, which forget
his name, mysteriously decides to quit.
That's it.
Masashi Kishimoto.
That's it.
He's died.
What?
No, he's not.
He's alive.
Willy is crying his heart out.
You did not kill the author of the Ruto.
That was Tekken 7 style intro.
I fucking killed Naruto, man.
Yo, did you play Tekken 7 though?
They learned.
Did you think, did you think I would leave Japan with zero casualties?
Did you really think that was possible?
You said, I think you said in some introductory tweet that you're like, I'm going there,
I'm busting hands, I'm taking names, someone's got to die or something like that.
That's pretty much a declaration of war, but...
This is just one of those coincidences that you're going to happen to take credit for.
Damn straight I am.
Also, Last Guardian fully 100% canceled while Willy's there too.
Oh no!
Why would you do this, Willy?
That's not actually true.
You made that up.
Did I?
Yeah, you did.
That's a headline that you're never going to see?
No, no, that's the thing.
Those are western lies you're telling me.
See, that's the thing, man.
That's a headline that you're never going to see because it won't be canceled.
It'll just be put on hiatus.
Because you can't say canceled.
Not when it was never developed in the first place.
All the budget is being funneled into Vibrabin.
It's true.
I was going to say...
This motherfucker's just reading my fucking docket way ahead.
I calmed down.
We have a whole thing scheduled.
I caught that regardless.
Doesn't matter.
That's so fucked up.
When you said that Last Guardian was never actually created,
you could go into the development studio and the entirety of their work is just some woman with ribbon spinning.
That's all they got so far.
Just say Antorico over and over again.
This looks good.
Willi, give us the update on continuing adventures in glorious Nihon.
Nihon, if you want to be prideful.
Nihon is if you want to say the USA, but when you say Nihon with the peas, it's like Murica.
It's just not Murica.
It's a different tone.
It's more prideful.
I was going to say actually patriotic and not weirdly ironically patriotic.
Yeah, exactly.
And speaking of patriotic, it was nuts because we're going across...
We've now moved entirely from Tokyo over to Osaka.
Yeah, next location.
That's right.
That's what my brain tells me when you say that.
Every time, dude.
We've seen the country so we've done so much and I don't want to spoil it all because I'm saving a lot for the video.
You already spoiled probably the coolest moment of the whole trip where it's...
It's not the coolest moment.
...Wullo Naga's ambition.
Yeah.
Where you're just chilling in that fucking stone garden thinking about conquest.
That dude, that is not a spoiler at all.
No, it's Willi.
It's Willi sitting there asking himself, but why do I fight?
Yeah.
I keep fighting to find that answer.
Willi vs. Japan was originally a 10 minute video and now it's going to be a quadrilogy.
Oh shit, okay.
Volume 1.
Does that mean I have to make a video when I go over there?
No, it's just going to be on vacation.
Not necessarily.
Only if you're not a lazy asshole.
I am.
Oh.
But no, it's nuts because with the whole page...
...finishes work before he left.
Go on.
Go on.
Alright, so tell us a shit.
The shit fling is over.
Let's go on.
The whole patriotic thing, there's only been one flag in sight the entire time of this year.
Was it on your back?
Right?
You know?
Even in Canada, you see flags on hotels, on lots of government buildings, but you're saying
you see one flag?
One Japanese hanging in the distance in a remote country area.
With my girlfriend, I was asking, is that lack of patriotism or lack of insecurity?
You know what I mean?
No, we in Americans live in immigrant countries where everybody's from everywhere.
But in Japan, they know.
You're from Japan usually.
Yeah.
Why do I need to be reminded where I live?
I feel like that's the case.
Exactly.
Yeah.
You know, it totally feels that way.
I don't think it's a lack of pride.
It's like, I don't think we need to shove our own pride down our own faces every day.
We're also, exactly.
Up of our own pride.
Who am I going to show my Japanese flag to?
Everyone in my town that's also Japanese.
Just look at our fucking trains.
Just be prideful at that, you know?
Check out that school girl.
She's bending over.
Or a low crime rate.
That's my flag.
That's my flag.
Yeah.
No, it's totally a lack of insecurity.
That being said, you talk about the trains, the Shinkansen, the Shini is unbelievable.
You talk and in the middle of your sentence, a sonic boom will blow by you and before you
have the time to turn your head around, it's gone.
Sonic boom.
It's fucking sick, man.
And as far as the crime rate shit goes, we actually got to watch TV for a bit.
I bet that's true.
So we flip it on, we see a random cooking show, and of course Arino is on.
Yeah.
He's just hanging around with a bunch of other random celebs.
I think they just do anything at this point.
That's how celebrity shows how it works.
Yeah.
Maybe on this show?
No?
Okay.
Get on.
And we flip it over to Japanese cops, right?
Yeah.
What?
So we're seeing like, oh my god, let me see, like, okay, so like let's follow in this crime.
What happened over here?
And it's just like some girl getting drunk in a subway and she's just tripping over and
they're helping her to a stretcher and then they put her away and drive off.
That's half an episode.
Wow.
And then like, excuse me, have you missed the law?
Okay, no way.
Yes, I am sorry.
That before would have shut down five years earlier if cops was like that.
Oh man.
That's disappointing because when you say like Japanese cops, I'm thinking of like,
of officers going up and down gigantic hills like in your under arrest and tiny cars.
I'm thinking of like sweet sweet burnouts.
And tight shirts.
We're in the middle of laughing our asses off at house, nothing this crime is.
And then they're like the next one in the show is they pull up to the side of a highway
and a trailer, a truck just kind of bumped the edge of the guardrail a couple times.
And everyone's getting around staring at the bumps going like, how many times did he hit
the guardrail?
I'm just, fuck this.
I'm changing the channel.
Fuck this.
You can't deal with the change in perspective.
I don't know.
I think watching that is like, what's like you actually get invested?
What's going to happen next?
Will someone steal a pie from a windowsill?
Was it me?
Like, you know.
It's nuts, man.
Out here in Osaka, it's definitely more like countryside south kind of feeling, you know,
it's not actually to the south.
Everyone talks like Makoto, yes.
Everyone, everyone's got the accents, man.
They drop like half of the syllables from the sentences.
It's nuts.
They merge everything together.
It's so awesome.
Yeah, I learned that like Hyakuen, which is like 100 yen, becomes just Hyaken over here.
Hyaken.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
Like all kinds of just merges and whatnot.
Just go to speak your Japanese and then start to drink and then whatever muddled nonsense
comes out, it's probably closer than what you would actually think.
Totally.
I got the experience of going into the little crammed sushi booth that seats like three.
Yeah.
And then the dude served it up and everything.
And while we're eating, he's like, oh, you know, you're an artisto.
Artisto.
And I was like, no, no, no.
I just, I do some filming things and whatever.
And there's like, oh, so good to go.
And then like we ate and he brought out a camera and took some pictures because he's like,
this guy might be famous.
I have no idea.
Yeah.
Just in case.
I'm not going to take a chance.
I've never felt the pressure like this before.
Yeah.
Did you meet Jiro?
Did you go to where Jiro is at?
Did you high five Jiro?
It's fucking impossible.
It is impossible.
No, I know.
Yeah.
Way impossible to find or possible to eat there.
It's impossible to eat there.
Right.
The waiting list is like years.
Okay.
Because he loves sushi.
Yeah.
And everyone loves him.
Everyone loves him because he loves sushi.
When your first born child reaches 18, then you can eat at Jiro.
Yeah.
So Wuli, you got like another week in Osaka, right?
Like more or less.
Not a week, honestly.
Like a couple days left.
Okay.
But yeah.
So let me ask you.
Platinum is in Osaka, right?
Yeah.
Has it gone through your head?
Just like, what if you just see Kamiya just on the fucking street?
Just like, there he is.
There.
Or not just Kamiya, but anyone.
That's like an idolized Kamiya.
Oh my God.
Look, it's Kojima's jacket.
Yeah.
In fact, why don't you just go to Platinum now?
Isn't it?
Yeah.
It would be, it would be interesting.
It would be interesting if there happened to be something in the video about that,
wouldn't there?
Oh cool.
It would be interesting.
What?
Huh.
Yeah.
Oh, I hate this guy.
This motherfucker was out drinking with Kamiya and he didn't even tell us.
He just had, he, Wuli just bathed in Windex with Kamiya all night.
I will die if that's the case.
I will be so mad.
Listen, I'm not going to say anything except for I tripped over my dick and fell into Platinum.
Yeah, that's fine.
Wow.
Okay.
I wish that I knew from that.
It never loses its luster.
That's really cool though.
It never loses its luster.
It's moving along.
Let's say you actually fell.
You should actually, like a video of you falling and you like crash into like three developers
and then like a pure Platinum award comes up.
Like on the street, like overlaid.
Like good job, you did it.
You beat that chapter.
So the place that I took, that I put that photo up from is on, it's by far the best part of the trip we've done.
It's called Hakone and it's this super remote town up on top of a mountain in between.
It's a remote town on top of a mountain in between Fuji and that town that has the big 10 Akuma symbol on it.
Sorry, that mountain that has that?
Yeah, it's in between those two.
And to fucking get there, you get this amazing countryside like train ride, then you switch,
you get onto one of these little like chamois cars that kind of goes up the mountain and then turns
and then goes up the mountain a bit more left, right, left, right.
You know what I mean?
And you look outside your window and you just see verses happening.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
Dude, it gets that foggy, right?
Wow.
Fucking you get out of that and then you get into like a little mountain car that like, it brings you up a few stops
and then there's a fucking cable car at the end of that.
Yeah.
And like, it's just this unbelievable journey like through the mountains and all, every possible cool method of transportation
to get to this awesome like on-send hot spring where they, yeah, they set us up.
I put on the full fucking, you know, the Yucata and we chilled in this great room.
And then you do hot springs, dude, I can't believe it.
I finally understand.
On-send are the greatest thing ever.
They're the greatest thing.
You finally understand why every anime has a hot springs episode.
But like hot tubs and shit don't compare.
There's nothing like it.
You don't want to talk about anything else once you've been in one.
Did you let an old Japanese guy wash your back?
No, but there was guy that took a glance at my dick and on the way out.
That was about it.
No, man, it's really cool.
It's just like, you fucking have the...
Well, whatever.
There's open air baths and some of them are public and some of them are private.
Man, no thanks.
Whatever.
If anyone really wants to get the full experience, you can just play that section of Asura's Wrath
and it's just as good.
Yeah, man.
And, you know, I guess without throwing everything else out there, we also checked out Nara fucking
chilled with some deer.
That fucking deer temple.
Oh my god.
That's the weirdest thing because it's a deer temple that looks like a fighting game stage.
But like the deer aren't the deer that you or I would see at Park Safari.
They're fucking horns.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no, that's not true.
They actually have shaved off almost all of them.
Oh no!
I saw one that had like a little, a few small horns and like that's going to go in a couple
days, you can tell.
It's too risky.
It's too risky.
And they're butting heads with each other so you're like, you don't want to put anyone
at risk, you know?
I want to be at risk.
Don't tell you.
You don't?
I super want to be at risk.
You're super scared of everything.
I know, but it'll be cool if I get fucking mauled to death by a deer in ancient Japanese
temple.
Then you can sue Japan.
The super jarring thing is that like when you think of the deer and Nara, you always think
of like, okay, like a Park Safari kind of vibe going through the giant nature reserve,
but like you can just be walking in the middle of the street downtown and they're like pigeons
and like they're just hanging out at bus stops and shit.
They're large pigeons.
That's what a deer is.
And so they're nature's deer, the pigeons.
Yeah, so you can get your pictures with the deer at the supernatural tree grass area or
you can just get you and a deer at an arcade just chilling playing UFO catcher.
Just playing what?
Metal slug?
Like...
You know, like it's super practical.
Oh, but you know, it's just fucking great, man.
The rest of our trip, we're kind of like we're on our like chill down days, you know, right
now and like we have a couple of extra locations to figure out, so you know, we're going to
do the itinerary.
Next location.
Yeah, man.
That's it.
Okay.
Glad you're enjoying your trip walls.
Yeah.
Oh my God.
The food.
The food.
The food.
The food.
Holy shit.
Holy shit.
Oh, he's getting close to the mic now.
Yeah, he's licking the mic.
Sorry.
Hey, do you like Japanese curry, Woolly?
Yeah, I do.
Okay, did you know it's impossible to find in Montreal?
That's sad.
It does not exist.
I've looked.
The problem is because what they have, what they call curry down here is very different.
It's like it's not spicy curry.
It's a mild sort of like soft.
Yeah.
No, that's what I'm describing.
Yeah.
And what actual curry is anywhere else is just a really hot meat and rice dish that
you like, you know, it's liquidy and it like, you know, it's just very different.
No, it's pretty good over here, but the barbecue meat, dude, I just, I understand everything
about like chia and all that crazy shit.
It's unbelievable.
It's so fucking good.
You don't understand how good.
Even bigger persona weeb than I or Liam M now.
It's terrible.
Terrible.
What am I creating?
Not to mention just the fact that like, you know, like last night, for example, just to
show you how people are, it's like we were looking for this place that was recommended
to me like Haramon Honpo, like amazing beef, you know, and we couldn't find it.
We're walking through these back alley streets that were all like Shenmue-like and eventually
we wander into an area where like the lights are just not on anymore, just darkness and
a dude just comes wandering out and is like, yeah, well, what are you, what are you looking
for?
You know, where are you, where are you trying to go?
And we're like, uh, this place.
I'm showing the address.
He's like, ah, that's not around here.
I don't know anything about that.
What are you looking for?
You're looking for beef, beef?
Yeah.
All right.
Come with me.
Come with me.
Yeah.
And you just fucking, we just walk with this dude.
So instead of going to your location, some stranger starts talking to you about beef and
you go with them.
This guy seems legit.
You totally got it.
And like we turn a few corners and suddenly the darkness just disappears and there's
a street of like Kobe beef style restaurants just lined up and he turns this into this
one and then like goes, here's where you want to be.
This is my favorite spot.
Do it.
Right.
And we're like, thank you so much and whatever.
The guy comes up to the attendant is like, hey, so three and the guy's like, yeah, you
know what?
Fuck it.
I'll sit down.
Right.
And he just sits and joins us and he's like, all right, look, I'm going to give you guys
a special because we were chatting it up, getting acquainted and he's like, yeah, I'll
give you a special man.
Like I'll give you some like your first couple of dishes, my favorite treats and my favorite
drinks on me on the house.
Enjoy Japan.
Wow.
You know?
And he just had a...
It's unbelievable, man.
So we had a drink with him.
We fucking camped it up, you know, and like just had some of the best beef and then like
he covered the first plates and then just pieced out and he's just back into the mist
that he came from.
Oh, I love you, beefmen.
Did you get a name?
Because I want the answer to be no.
Beefmen.
Because I wanted to just be a mysterious beef man.
You'll never forget it.
He gave a name, but he kind of like, it was very low and like you could barely hear it.
So like it kind of sounded like like Umeda, but I couldn't really tell, you know?
And that's like the third or fourth story of this kind that we've got.
Like I recorded a few more where like, we were walking with some maple syrup with us
just because it's, you know what?
I realized I'm like...
You should.
Yeah.
Exactly, right?
Because I heard a while ago that it's like, carry a gift with you, you never know when
you're going to need it.
And yeah, I carried maple syrup with us and we've been handing them out like, you're the
best, man.
Here's some fucking maple syrup.
And everybody loves it because even you love maple syrup.
Exactly.
And it's, and I apparently it is available here if you look hard enough, but it's crazy
expensive.
Yeah.
And it's so expensive.
And it's like just not common, right?
Like...
And it's not as good.
Exactly.
It's considered exotic.
It's literally exotic.
So, you know, we've been doling it out.
We've been doling it out.
Yeah.
So you're saying like that's kind of like that's it for now, but were you, Liam asked
earlier, but were you able to get to the Tekken 7 stuff or no?
So what happened was I went specifically to that arcade and I specifically was, you know,
it was the, what should we call it, Dendenstown, you know, arcade.
And went in, looked it up, top to bottom, inside out, couldn't find it, couldn't find
it unfortunately.
I asked the attendants, I was like, you know, just Tekken 7 here, around here or anything.
And they're just like, no, man, we've got tag unlimited, but that's all we've got.
So, you know, as I explained on camera, like I apologize, I couldn't find Tekken 7, but
I did find another game.
Oh.
Aw.
I did find another game and it's a game that involves tables.
Oh.
Yeah, you found the table flipping arcade game.
So we'll see how that full LP plays out.
Get the fuck out of here.
Get the fuck out of here.
Because the thing about Tekken 7, and we're not going to start to get to it, but it's
like, there's a lot of phone and video footage like off, like a not direct feed of it and
people are like, wow, that looks like a Tekken game.
And I don't understand.
The only thing is that this hit sparks are fucking put killer instinct to shame.
They just, yeah, when you hit a guy and there's supers now, like there's straight supers.
Wow, supers, yeah.
But they can be stuffed by low kicks.
Yeah, I bet they can.
Like I said, there's gifts of Paul and Asuka doing their supers and they're like, there's
the camera.
Camera shots and everything.
Camera shots and they're big powered up, like, you know, if there was pretty crazy.
This means in six, seven years, we get to have a conversation about how ultras ruin
fighting games.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, Soulcalibur added supers too.
Yeah, they sucked.
Oh, that was awful.
Yeah, they were way too great.
Oh, I'm sure it'll be fine though.
I'm not sure at all.
I'm also likely to be not sure.
Just look forward to Pokan and Summer Lesson.
It's all you need.
Yeah, it's all I need.
I think the thing that doesn't make sense here though is like some of the sickest places
are like, they're beautiful and they're like no cameras allowed.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So for so I understand this one, like, you know, the the big Oni temple, Pat that we're
talking about, like the fucking the temple.
So yeah, like that's something where it's like, OK, you can take photos of it, but once
you go inside, no photos.
And it's like, I get that.
It's a sanctity thing.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Like an arcade or like, sorry, a game center.
You want to advertise your game center.
No, it's because in Japan, you're not allowed to take photos of people and publish them.
That's why they're always blurred out and stuff.
So they don't want anyone doing that.
Yeah.
It's not like here.
If you're out on the street, anybody can follow you with a camera from everywhere.
But it's actually a law.
So they enforce that to actually the establishment.
It's just the likelihood that a person or multiple people say, hey, if you take a little
and establishment, the establishment at buildings will do it.
So as to not have a situation arriving.
I mean, it's not because of like the building itself, but that doesn't explain this weird
duality where like, for example, there was a shop in Denden Town that has like, it has
a giant Ultraman figure outside where you're supposed to take pictures with this thing,
right?
And it's got a giant like T1000 kind of thing as well.
And these are things where it's like, stand next to this, take a photo, but like we have
a diorama case inside and it's like, no, you can't take a photo of this awesome diorama.
You know, because it's like some photos are encouraged in some places.
Yeah.
So that the whole public faces thing is stuff, not take photos of stuff, but they weren't
for sale.
It was a diorama of awesome shit that was not for sale and you couldn't take photos.
Yeah.
But here's the thing.
You're going to tell us about one of the most awesome diorama things that you couldn't
take a photo of.
And then I'm going to go to that fucking place because you couldn't take a photo of it to
see.
Maybe it's a tourist thing.
Like they, like specifically for tourists or not tourists, but like windows.
It says no photos and in Japanese under it says, if you're Japanese, please take photos.
That's right.
Please do this thing.
I managed to like, before I even saw the sign, I used, I was ignorant guy Jin and I got some
video of some of that cool stuff before I got, I got tapped on the shoulder and I was
like, I just, I was like, oh yeah, you know, sorry, you know, fucking America, a freedom.
Yeah.
And then you gave him a syrup, right?
No, I ran out of maple syrup.
Oh, it always happens.
I imagine some situation where he's running from something in Japan really hard.
He's like, the maple syrup and throws it behind him and everyone gets stuck.
Yeah.
I like that.
Say, hey, hey, why doesn't someone just make a video of that or animate that?
Cause apparently no matter what we say that will he has happened in Japan, someone will
fucking make that.
We have enough talented fans that we can, that everything we do or say will become a thing.
So I was watching that animated tiger video of Willie trying to poop.
That's right.
I watched it on loop and like every, like I'm like, it's late at night and watching
it and my fiance's like, are you watching that again?
I was like, you bet I am.
After posting it on the Facebook wasn't enough.
It's like, I posted the fucking me looking at the, me and the, the, the Yukata thing and
you still got to on Twitter be like, yeah, that's cool, but how about this pooping video?
Not enough attention at the pooping.
Cause I still had the giggles about it.
I'm sorry.
It was like the best thing ever cause it was the last thing I thought though, it's someone
that actually-
Simple things in life, man.
Simple things in life.
It's true.
Yeah.
What's going on with you guys?
Yeah.
So Matt, what have you been doing?
Well, I was-
What's your week like?
I've been stocking up on a lot more Halloween stuff.
Pat Assack.
So I came into this motherfuckers apartment to do this podcast and look over at this giant
pile of boxes.
There's like multiple boxes in the bag.
Yeah, you know it's a skeleton.
I says to him, I says, is that all for Halloween?
Yeah.
Cause I figured maybe some of it's for, you know, house stuff.
And he says to you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Go big or go home.
And I say, but you're home.
Well, go into your basement I guess.
Yeah.
But yeah, no, the age of skeletons begins now as anyone can see.
Even the guys on the yoga, if I made a dumb suggestion for the topic title being there's
a skeleton inside each and every, inside all of us.
And then they went super beyond the call of duty.
Now everyone in the, all of our pictures on the gap thread were all the skeleton versions.
It's true.
Even Zach has a little Zach Skell skull in the space.
Nice.
But yeah, I'm getting a lot more Halloween stuff for trying to, we're gonna, we have a
whole plan of attack to make this place as spooky as possible or whatever.
We're going nuts, as you can say.
Aside from that, I saw two movies.
I was able to get free tickets to Annabelle, which is, I'm not sure if you guys have ever
heard of anything like this, but like the movie, The Conjuring came out last year as
one of those horror movies that just happens to do well because nothing comes out at the
same time.
And it makes like 40 million.
And the start of that movie, they talk about a creepy doll.
And like the two characters, the two ghost hunters are like introduced by saying, yeah,
we have this creepy doll that people gave us.
And it's got a demonic presence in it.
We keep it locked in our, in our like room full of demonic possessions that we try to
keep barricaded from the world.
And then the movie goes on to be the movie itself.
And then they decided, why don't we give that creepy doll our own movie?
Right.
Because when people saw The Conjuring, they're like, man, that creepy doll sure looked fucked
up.
And they're like, yeah.
I think my sister went to see this.
Yeah.
Sorry, your sister went to see this.
I think my sister went to see this.
Yeah.
So we went to go see it.
And I was like, ah, this can't be that great, but I have free tickets or whatever.
So we go in and clearly within like, I don't know, the first like 20 minutes, the, the,
the, the makers of the movie are like, yeah, we know this isn't going to be creepy.
It's just a doll.
And we can't have this creepy woman, like, like a little girl doll do chucky shit because
that's lame now.
Yeah.
Maybe we try to do that.
Yeah.
So they stop it and then they just have the doll just sitting there and then bad things
happen around it.
And when you see like the kind of one of the, the, the, they, they start layering other scary
things.
Basically Satan comes out and he's holding the doll and going, and the Satan guy looks
really scary.
Actually, I was like, oh, shit, this is getting better.
So it was an overall, all right, wait, there was actually a Satan guy.
There was a guy dressed as Satan and he was so seridean and he just dressed, he had a
creepy costume and he was literally holding the doll going, yeah.
It was, yeah, this is a good time.
Sounds like a good time.
It was a good time.
And it was like, it's not like a must see or anything, but like, I thought it was all
right for, for what it was.
I also saw a gone girl, which I've been anticipating for a long time and that's new movie by David
Fincher.
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, the, his remake of it.
I love Seven and Fight Club.
So I was like, okay, I want another one of those and like, I fucking got it.
Are you guys familiar with that movie at all?
No.
It was based on a book and it's a guy wakes up, goes to get a coffee, comes back to his
place.
His wife's gone.
Just gone.
Just gone.
And he, and the tables flipped and there's a broken glass everywhere.
And then he goes, well, call the cops, I guess, and like, where, where's my wife?
I don't, I don't, this is really weird.
And then the cops are like, yeah, okay.
Yeah.
And then the first thing is who do you suspect?
It's the husband.
And the husband is Ben Affleck and I kind of kind of go, okay, I suspect Ben Affleck.
I suspect Ben Affleck too.
And as it goes on, it gets more and more insidious about like, oh wait, no, he, why is he acting
this way?
This is all slanted towards painting him, right?
As the, the criminal.
Yeah.
And then the movie changes halfway through and you go, oh shit.
Okay.
This is definitely something I'm not going to even talk much more about, but I thought
it was amazing.
What was amazing is when we first watched the first scenes of him falling in love with his
wife.
And now they went to the back of a, of a bakery, a baking factory and they have all this flour
and sugar.
And then it's, it's windy out in the alley and they go and he goes, look here, I'll take
you here.
Over here, babe.
All you're so blonde and beautiful and kiss you.
And he goes, look, the sugar storm goes on her face.
So they're lightly covered in sugar and he taps her lips and kisses her.
And my, again, if you've both me and my friends, they go, this is really lame.
Like this is the worst courtship I've ever seen.
I'm pretty sappy.
And even I think that's, but that's the thing.
It's was supposed to be sappy because they're, they're like, oh, it's so beautiful.
They're trying to play it out.
And then when it gets so insidious and like, it gets really violent too, like, I, I fucking
loved it.
David Fincher to me, like he had one movie where I was like, eh, it was panic room.
Sure.
Panic room.
Yeah.
Oh, that was him.
That was him.
Yeah.
I have some appreciation for panic room.
I have some appreciated fortune, but that's the worst one.
The one where the, the, the bit where the guy gets stuck on the door is the highlight
of that movie.
But that's the one where I'm like, eh, I could, I could do without it.
It could be worse.
I really enjoyed it.
And just quickly I played a cup.
I played, continued to play Hyrule Warriors.
Yeah.
I got to where I, you know, switched over to the other character.
Oh boy.
I, I shouldn't have realized you, you guys are playing all the games I can't play.
Of course.
Well, yeah, we're not just going to stop.
Well, the thing I, like, the thing I'll piss off, I'm going to be, I get on the plane,
the hour that Evil Within comes out.
Pretty much.
Both, both you, both you guys like miss out on some of your stuffs that you like.
Yeah.
That's, that's so.
Yeah.
But like Smash Ultimax and fucking.
You just said that was lame.
Yeah, I know.
I did.
You're not going to have to do much catching up in Smash, man.
It's true.
It's true.
Why?
Well, let's, let's.
Let's.
We'll end with that.
Yeah.
I was going to say.
Just the way that the art weeks are going to go, it'll naturally go to Smash.
Yeah.
And I'm just, I'm just continuing just to go through Legends mode.
I'm still having a fun time.
I also, you know, there's a million Sherlock Holmes games that come out.
Yeah.
Crimes and Punishment.
So I saw this 20 minute video of this Sherlock game called Crimes and Punishments.
I started looking at one of those videos, one of those overproduced rock star.
Yeah.
This is what you'll be doing.
And I'm watching this.
It's got a cool European accent.
And they go, oh fuck.
Oh.
And then I'm like, oh that looks not that bad.
And then you just choose who the killer is.
And you're like, oh this is so open.
Oh fuck.
And I wound up finding it.
Yeah, you did.
How is it?
It's still a little janky.
When you, when you make Sherlock walk, it doesn't feel good.
It doesn't feel good.
The only reason you have to walk is to get to the next clue.
And I got to like the third clue that's in where the first murder victim is.
And I just, it was one of those things that you and I both love and hate.
So spinning pieces of clue that you have to move around.
And it's fragments of smell and memory.
And it's like perfume.
And Sherlock's using his brain and his neurons because it goes into like his brain.
Yeah.
And you have to spin a different image and then twist it to make a memory of the smell
of where this guy was from.
And I go, oh my God.
Oh no.
And I just stopped playing it right there.
But it was still really good.
Like graphically, it's also really nice.
I don't even understand what you were just saying.
It's hard to describe.
Yeah, I bet.
Build a smell memory.
And also I saw chariot.
You heard of that?
Yes.
Yeah, I have.
That was free on gold.
It was free on gold.
You have a 2D platformer and you have to have a rope attached to like a little cart.
Yeah.
And that's the game.
A chariot perhaps.
You're bringing it down.
Not a chariot.
You're bringing a dead king's body to its grave.
And it's two people with a rope attached to the box.
Yeah.
And you have to bring it along.
Oh, that's awesome.
When the king comes out, he goes, this isn't nearly enough treasure.
What happened?
All that treasure I plundered, I mean saved.
Yeah.
And then you have to go and you always have to carry this cart around.
But you like up like hills and things.
And I'm playing this.
I'm like, this is this all that there is in the game.
This kind of sucks.
And I played it for another 20 minutes.
And I realized like, oh shit, I kept playing it.
Yeah.
So there's something about it.
No, I actually picked it up because I was curious and because like support Canadian developers.
Oh yeah.
It's in years.
I want to say it's Montreal or Vancouver.
Yeah, Montreal.
Those are the two places.
Those are the two places.
Yeah, exactly.
What's it called?
What's it called again?
Share it.
It's free on gold.
So you'll have it anyway when you get home.
Um, yeah, it's solid.
It's alright.
Like, sorry.
I was like, I started up, I'm like, I don't expect much of this.
And I was like, why did I play it for like 30 minutes?
My only thing is like, I wish the art style was a bit different.
But it's fine.
Then the last, it is fine.
So that's about what I did.
Oh man.
Oh, I played video games, man.
That's cool this week.
I got a solid block it.
I got some blocks in.
I played a ton of Ultimax.
Boy, Ultimax is a good game.
Oh yeah.
That lobby system is next level.
They fucked that game as a fucking dedicated.
It has the player room lobby system that you would imagine from a regular fighting game
that has the good ArcSys net code.
But it also has like, here's 10.
Training room lobby.
Yeah.
Yeah.
All that stuff.
Here's 10 rooms.
They're called like, the Polonia Mall, or the Central Shopping thing, or the Shrine.
And then there's every Arcana, like from the Fool to Death inside there as a sub room.
And you go in there and it's just a permanently open room that up to 64 people can go into.
So it's like Monster Hunter Tri or something like that.
Yeah.
And there are like 15, 16 arcade cabinets in there.
And you just walk up to one and sit down with your little chibi avatar.
And somebody else does the same.
And you start a match.
So like, me and the guys on the Best Friends topic at NeoGaff, we just picked one of these
rooms and you just go in there and play matches.
It's awesome.
It's amazing.
And it's this nice in between of like the Skullgirl system where, you know, it's like
everyone's fighting it all one time.
But you naturally get kicked off when you lose.
I really liked SoulCal 5, which was the same thing.
I didn't know that.
But this sounds way better in the way that it has just a shit load of rooms so you can
really be more granular about it and be like, we will be here all the time.
Whereas SoulCal...
That's genius, man.
It's really awesome.
It sounds really smart.
Both.
And there's like a triangle and like all these little emoticon things come up.
Like to put the sweat drop on your head after you just barely win, stuff like that.
It's awesome.
The two DLC characters that are free as of...
It's too late.
They're not free as of now.
Oh, because we're Tuesday now.
Yeah.
So I sent out a message on my Twitter saying, hey, anyone who cares about Ultimax at all
ever in the future, download the two characters now.
Woolly, for you, you can go grab them on the browser.
I sent him a message to do it already.
Yeah.
I hope you did it already.
I did was, yeah, no, I just, I added them to my cart and said I purchased these, but
I didn't download them.
Yeah.
As long as you purchase them, that's enough.
They're awesome.
They play amazing.
It's what?
Marie and Marble?
Yeah.
Marie and Culprit.
Marie and Culprit.
Yeah.
How is Culprit?
Culprit plays like an SNK boss.
It feels like your...
Culprit's D attack is another character's superman.
This is the character that you said doesn't have a persona, right?
No, he does have one.
The reason we're calling him Culprit for this week and this week only.
Just for the people who don't know, Pat was not correcting me saying Margaret with...
like, Margaret's not the Culprit.
Margaret's today.
Margaret comes out today.
No, no, no, just so people aren't like, fuck me and spoil the Culprit.
No, but we're saying Culprit because we're just avoiding spoilers for people for this week.
Exactly.
As of at the end of this conversation, the Persona 4 spoilers are open forever because
one of them's a fighting game character now.
Yeah.
It plays like an SNK boss.
That's good.
Marie is tons of fun, weirdly enough, and Margie's out today, so I'll pick her up.
But yeah, Ultimex.
Ultimex has so...
It feels like that Golden Arena mode feels like World Tour mode.
Oh, what's Golden Arena again?
I remember reading about it.
It's World Tour mode.
Is you level up and gain abilities and fight super bosses that have special gimmicks.
Oh, so is it like... fuck, what's the thing they added to Blaze Blu's later one?
Yeah, it's like MOM, but fully built out into a mode.
Does it have like a level selector kind of thing?
Yeah.
Okay, because Blaze Blu's got that.
It's fucking awesome.
Dude, it's awesome.
Ultimex is one of the... it's gonna... like... oh, it's awesome.
It's the best game Marxist has ever made.
Ever.
No, no, no.
I believe it.
And the roster's enormous.
Oh my god.
Although, like, 40% of them are absolute trash.
Yeah, the Shadow Care.
Well, I don't... I'm not even counting the shadows.
You know, it's really early, it's really early, but like...
I think there might be some...
No, I think when I come back from Japan, we're gonna...
I'm gonna go to your house, you're gonna come to my house on one of our days off,
and we're gonna play some Ultimex.
You read some sets.
This game is serious.
It is awesome.
So I played a ton of Ultimex, and that's like the...
the smallest part of my playtime.
I finished Shadow of Mordor.
Yeah, me too.
Wow.
That game's really good.
I'd give it a solid 8 out of 10.
Boy, is the final hour and a half of that game garbage.
Yeah.
Just garbage.
Oh no.
I was gonna say...
Just terrible.
You're not, like, without, like, going into...
Oh, it's very simple.
I guess it's because of the mechanics.
The game has pacing issues where it's clear that the second half of the game
was supposed to be a half.
Yeah.
But instead...
Remember when you said they developed the game like a sequel and a latter half?
But the problem is, is you are so effective.
By the time you get there, yeah.
And the tools you have at your disposal are just so overpowered
that the first half of the game is Kill the War Chiefs.
The second half of the game is Bring the War Chiefs underneath your control.
Right.
So if you have the ability to bring guys underneath your control,
the ability to, like, have guys betray each other and all that stuff,
it's so good that you blow through that shit like two hours.
Well, plus you have to play the mandatory shitty hunting missions.
Yes.
Which are terrible.
Which are terrible.
Why would it be mandatory for hunting animals?
Because it's story missions to get one of the Kill-a-Brim-Boars old articles.
So wait, so the mechanics dropped the ball instead of the...
These are awesome.
So it's just too easy.
You remember what I said last week about how Shadow of Mordor is fucking good?
It's fucking good.
Well, it never introduces anything new, and it stays that way and gets a little tired
right at the end.
The big problem, the big...
The big, big problem is that I remember saying, I forget, on last week's podcast,
like, boy, I bet that game's story is horrible.
Boy is it.
It's just nothing.
It's someone who doesn't know anything about the books.
I don't know.
And the problem is that not even just that you and Kellogg's Boo-Berry are like pieces
of sandpaper, like beige sandpaper of like, I, you're a guy.
That's the thing.
That's why early-born characters like that are never the main character because they're
boring by themselves.
So the whole...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The whole cross of the second half of the game is you need to build up an army of orcs.
You need to bring out all the war chiefs under your command so you can go and fight the
Black Hand, have this big epic fight, and then it boils down to you and the five war
chiefs get on a boat with no one else, and go and fight the other guys, five war chiefs,
with like maybe 10 other guys in the field.
And it's kind of a nifty fight.
And you kill them in like four minutes.
It's so easy.
And that's the build up.
Like, the whole game builds up to this super, super like, like flat moment.
There is another boss at the end, but he's just like the silly stuff.
And then the final boss is a 100% quick time.
You go up to him, and a cutscene happens, and then it's three quick time prompts, and then
you've beaten the final boss.
No, that's actually incorrect.
You stealth around.
No, no, I'm not talking about him.
I'm talking about the final boss.
Yeah, and that's bullshit.
That's garbage.
Yeah, exactly.
I'm talking about the other guy.
I'm talking about the tower.
Yeah, exactly.
No, that's no.
Then it's a quick time.
Yeah, absolutely.
And he is nothing.
It's unbelievable.
And then I don't know how much I want to talk about this, because it's technically a huge
spoiler.
But then, be careful.
Oh, god.
You fight the final boss, and the final boss just turns into Sauron for no reason.
Well, not that we know us, no creators.
Whatever.
But for no reason, just so that you can fight Sauron.
They don't explain it well enough.
But that's stupid.
And then it's a quick time of fate, and then Sauron is back to being dead.
And then the main character says, why don't we go do the least canon thing that has ever
been said in a video game adaptation?
Like the setup for the sequel makes me look at this and go, how can you, I'm not a big
Lord of the Rings nerd fan, whatever.
Sure.
But the setup that they actually go for is the equivalent of Luke Skywalker at the end
of an Empire Strikes Back game, going, now I will become the Jedi god and kill all of
the Sith.
It's so absurd.
And then it uses that as like a, oh, that's so rad.
And then smash cuts to rock music and the credits.
Yeah.
Smash cuts to rock music.
And I just started to laugh.
I just started, and it sucks because the gameplay, like the game opens up a mode where it's just
like, hey, you like the Nemesis system, just go do the Nemesis system for 30 minutes and
see how good you can do.
That stuff's awesome.
But just like the license weirdness and the story around it, it's just so bad.
And that final stretch, that final hour is just horrible.
I would say more than the final stretch because the whole hunting mission is the whole stuff.
I did the hunting missions first in that second sequence.
So yeah, that'll do it.
Doing something like this for Lord of the Rings is really, really tough because it's
like you can't just have Joe, Joe Bob, like random video game writer do this.
It's got to be like people that are working on project attorneys.
It's got to be something that has a lot of experience when you write these RPGs.
And also they clearly don't have the movie rights.
You know, I'm willing to give them the benefit of the doubt on the writing because I haven't
read all of the books.
But what I mean is that like to...
No, but I mean if it does work in the universe, I just don't know.
That being said, for a game that does it present it well enough to someone who doesn't know.
Clearly, clearly does not have a movie license.
Yeah.
Boy, do they steal a lot of lines from the movie.
Right.
Like one of the respawn books from Calibri more.
They have to have something because Golem looks exactly like the movie.
Yeah, I know.
It's the book all of my guess.
But like one of the quotes when you respawn at a respawn tower is Talion asks Calibri
more, hey, what's up with these towers?
And he says, they're beacons of lights in the corridor where all other lights may fail.
Yeah.
Or something like that.
And that kind of like weird, like super specific movie line happens all the time.
That's really dope because Gradriol says that like to the little charm that she gives Sam.
It's super weird.
It's super fucking weird.
But come my generic horse, show us the meaning of haste, you know?
What a good game.
You don't get a horse in that game.
But like unfortunately like kneecapped, especially at the end.
Yeah.
Do you think it would have been better served if it wasn't even Lord of the Rings at all?
I don't know.
I wouldn't have heard it either way.
Well, if the writing had been better or more interesting, then yes, it was a horse.
I would say.
What I mean is being shackled to an existing story line.
I say it gains nothing from being a Lord of the Rings game and that to people who actually
care about this like fiction, that there is some stuff in this game that will just make
you go crazy.
Yeah.
Do you think the DLC can possibly wrap it up?
You get to see the events of that DLC in a cutscene in this game and they are absurd.
They are absolutely absurd.
Someone on my Twitter mentioned, hey, if you guys thought some of that stuff is non-canon,
do you know that the final boss of the Lord of the Rings of Third Age is just you and
your party chopping at Soran's giant eye?
Yes, I did know that.
Do you know that because you beat it or I beat it?
Yeah.
The entire party is just waiting in line because then you slash your sword at the eyeball.
Slash your sword at the eyeball, yeah, that would kill it.
Super good game, but like, boy, there's a lot of flaws with it.
There's a lot of flaws.
The boss fights are, like the boss fights, like not the Nemesis's or the orcs, like the
three bosses in the game, one's a shitty stealth sequence, one's a quick time event, and one's
just a regular fight against a normal guy.
And then there's the giant monster who's not funny.
Considering how powerful you are, do you think they should have just said fuck it and just
made you fight a giant beast?
I don't know.
Well, there was a giant beast.
They do make you do that.
As a boss, though?
Yeah, and it sucks.
That's a terrible one.
Which boss fight is that?
It's a ground one.
No, it's the fourth one that Pat forgot.
Oh, okay.
And so now.
Yeah, it sucks.
But with that said, it's not as disappointing as Destiny or Watchtower or anything.
It's a moment, like I had tons of fun.
I just wish.
Okay.
Probably the biggest, biggest problem is that my favorite thing about that game's early
game is that it was hard.
And then when you get into the second half of the game, the game is a fucking cake walk.
It is so easy.
Okay.
You unlock the ability to do two takedowns with one combo streak.
And you just tear through people.
It's so easy.
Well, again, what I was going to say.
But boy, I'm glad I played it.
I don't know.
It's weird to shit on a game's back half like this so hard, but the game is so good.
Yeah, you're right.
What I was going to say is, you know, like for Destiny and Watch Dogs, they came off
as disappointing.
For me, the worst thing I could say about them is the worst thing you can say about any game
is that I think those games are boring.
No, exactly.
Yeah.
This one, this one comes off as good.
Very good.
I'm looking forward to a sequel.
Yeah, absolutely.
That's the thing.
It's one of those, like, old man.
Well, make a sequel.
Like Bioshock 1 style, right?
Like really good with a ball drop.
Yeah.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah, absolutely.
Let's take a quick word from our sponsors.
Okay.
All right, guys.
Look, here's the deal.
All right.
What's the deal?
I'm way the fuck out here in Japan.
I spent so much money flying out here to find my goodies and my loot and all the good fucking
shit, the geeky shit that I want.
You're basically wasting your life.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm wasting time.
I'm wasting money.
I'm wasting all kinds of people's time and money.
Not just mine.
My girlfriend's here with me.
She's suffering through it because I want my geek shit.
Yeah.
Your money work right now, so you're clearly wasting our time and money.
It's the only way to get your love Hina pillow sheets.
Is it though?
No, you need them and you need to go to Japan for that.
Because maybe, maybe I could have done something else.
Maybe there's a better way.
Because that could have gotten me the goods without wasting everyone's time and money.
A more direct way to get the loot.
How could someone send a crate of loot to your place?
Well, follow that up.
Well, you left us hanging for like five seconds.
Yeah, he left us hanging at the same time.
You know who won't leave you hanging?
Who?
Crate.
Nice.
If you tell them that you won't loot, daddy.
You have to tell them.
Yeah.
You have to tell them.
You have to tell them.
I'm cracking this video open right now.
That's correct.
Liam didn't wait at all for the setup.
He did not wait at all.
He's just crawling through the fucking loot crate already.
He's just clawing his way through it.
So Liam, the theme of this loot crate jumper Liam is is collecting.
And I said there might be a horse in here and I am afraid.
You are a liar.
I'm afraid there's no more.
There's no horse.
I'm not sure because he made that prediction not knowing what was inside.
So loot crate made him a liar.
Yeah, that's true.
They could have put a horse in here.
They were like, damn.
A galactic horse.
But instead, what do we have here?
What are we going to do with all these horses?
So we got a science fiction vinyl figure, which seems like it can be from Star Trek.
It can be from Predator.
Or the Doctor Who.
What?
What?
Where?
I see Judge Dredd on there.
Like there's a lot of possibilities.
Oh, yeah.
There is a little baby Predator.
Oh, is he Spock?
And I see that guy from the, what's it called, the brown coat.
Science fiction action vinyl man doll.
That's what I wanted to say.
I'm not there with you guys, so you're going to have to describe it real nice.
Of course.
It's a vinyl doll.
It's one of those little figures.
It's a mystery once all opened up, it's used inside.
We got a roll of sci-fi money.
It appears to be space money.
I'm not sure with what space it's on.
Oh my god, double dollars?
Because there's space shit and Chinese stuff on this money, I'm going to assume it's from
Firefly.
It could be.
That's Firefly.
I would just assume that.
It probably is then.
You know what?
That's Goran Firefly.
These are gigantic notes.
Like these are awesome looking.
Come on, Zardos.
No, it's not going to be Zardos.
Oh, it's a little plastic bag.
No, no, man.
It's a plastic bag.
It's a little black plastic bag.
You have to open up the tiny plastic bag.
Firefly.
I can't.
Oh, what's this damn nit mouth?
It's mouth.
It's Firefly.
That's it from Firefly.
We've got a triple from Star Trek.
Are you serious?
You can have that.
It's a triple.
Shit.
We've got a little pin and a little magazine.
It's got a little sign on it says please do not feed and keep out of reach of Klingons.
They hate Klingons.
We've got an alien figure that Matt can just have.
Yeah, these are those really old ones that are meant to look old and crappy from the
70s.
People love that stuff.
We've got a poster.
Yeah.
A poster of Han Solo in Carbonite.
Oh, just in case you need that to get to where you need to go sexually.
A voucher.
Really?
That's like the whole time you're spinning that up and like are you really just going
to go for that?
Yeah, I did.
A voucher for some of the Halo escalation comic books.
He knows that you love the books.
Oh, my God.
There's so many Halo ever novels and comics and shit.
Wow.
Hold on.
This triple is creepy.
What the fuck is this?
No, come on.
They're adorable.
We've got Asteroid-themed Star Wars magnets.
What?
And we've got a package of Pop Rocks, which are the most galactic things of all.
That is the most galactic food of all time.
And if you open up the box, it looks like the inside of a Star Wars hanger.
Yeah.
It's actually neat.
Oh, cool.
The final battle in Shanghai.
I'm going to take pictures of your shit in there.
That's really cute.
This is pretty cool.
Right on, guys.
This is a galactic box.
This box was definitely intergalactic, planetary.
No.
There's no Beastie Boys in this box.
Yeah, we can do that.
But there could have been based on that music video.
I like my Pop Rocks.
So, Molly, this is actually a pretty cool little box of goodies.
How can I acquire this?
Yeah.
Is it even possible?
Because I don't have the time to go out and goodie shop like you are now in Japan.
Mm-hmm.
Right?
I just think this stuff is sent to me.
You would think it would take light years for it to get to your place.
But it turns out all you got to do is head on down to lootcrate.com slash super.
Use the promo code super and you can get 10% off your subscription plans today.
Lootcrate will send a box of these types of goodies to your place every month for just
1337 plus shipping and handling.
And hey, you know what?
Next month it might be another theme.
Who knows?
It could be a horse theme.
It could be a horse theme.
It could be a horse theme.
Oh!
Oh!
Nice.
What's it going to be?
A box of glue?
That's right.
That's right, Liam.
High five.
Bojack Horseman.
That's the worst joke ever.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We can't even high five well.
Yeah, you're not good.
The theme, Horses, you open it up and there's a bunch of spaceships inside.
That's right.
Yeah.
That's right.
Or you open it up and there's just this live horse head and they're like, aha, it's
also Godfather themed.
We tricked you, you idiot.
No, no.
If there was a best friends crate, then we'd stick horses in that.
The loot crate will send you not severed horse heads.
Possibly sent horse.
They'll send you actual goodies.
Right.
So once again, that's lootcrate.com slash super for all your geeky good needs delivered
to your door once a month.
Thanks, loot crate.
Thanks, loot crate.
Thank you very much, loot crate.
Thanks.
All right, Liam, how's your week, man?
Wait a minute, I'm done.
I'm not done.
Sorry.
He's got more to talk about.
There's one more thing I have to talk about and it'll segue right into what Liam has
to talk about.
Smash came out.
Smash came out.
I played a lot of Smash.
Yeah, of course.
You played a lot of Smash.
I played like 40 hours of Smash.
So you take it away and I'll leave the 40 you.
I didn't play Smash because I was about to play it and Liam was like, seven copies were
brought to my house.
Do you want one?
Do you want one?
Yeah.
Offer still stands.
So, Smash is great.
It's really, really good.
Do you have extra physical copies?
I only have one left.
So, I'll buy it off you, man.
No, it's not.
Oh, sorry.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
I'm trying to steal my game.
So it's really, really good and I really like it, but a lot of the worries that I've expressed
in the podcast in the past turned out to be pretty legitimate.
Super dead on.
So the game has a dearth of single player content.
So I'm a very casual Smash fan and I found out that there is none that I give a shit
about at all and what takes the sting of that away is that they fix the online and the online
actually works.
Most of the time, yeah.
Yeah, most of the time, like for glory, I actually fight dudes and it's fun.
And it's fun, yeah.
So like, obviously it's got less than brawl.
We're not even going to talk about brawl.
Yeah, that's not fair.
It's impossible to have brawl.
Exactly.
So I thought I was crazy, but I decided to just like look through the menus and be like,
okay, what's there in melee?
And it's actually on the same level, if not less than melee because you're talking stages,
music, etc.
No, single player.
Only single player.
I'm going to get to the multiplayer complaints after.
And so basically they subbed out event match mode for no apparent reason, subbed in Smash
Run, which is all right.
And they switched break the targets for the shitty new replacement break the targets.
Let's just break the targets is too hard.
Play Angry Birds instead.
Yeah, it's Angry Birds.
It's so shitty.
It's so shitty.
Like the whole point of board the platforms break the targets was like, what's your character
of the limit and do all the work things control more intricate than that game control.
Break the platforms was designed to learn how your character moves.
Yeah.
A home home run contest was designed to learn how to do damage efficiently and target smash
was designed to combine the two.
And it was a combination of movement and such.
And thus they got rid of board the platforms in melee because they didn't feel it was necessary.
And then in Brawl, unfortunately, they cut break the targets down to three universal stages
instead of one per character.
But for this game, they just fucking got rid of it.
And you get a shitty like, oh, boohoo, I'm no good at home on Smash.
Now I need this one that makes me feel good because it's easy.
So what is it now?
It's like it's the same as home run contest, but you're hitting a bomb and you're only
hitting it so far to blow up a castle.
It may as well be filled with pigs.
Oh, there's a limit.
So then it's asking you to be precise with it rather than see how far you can launch
it.
In a sense.
But because of the nature of it, it's either luck based or trial and error based.
Whereas the other modes encourage mastery.
This mode encourages repetition.
And so it's not great.
Interesting.
Okay.
Then as far as the new, well, the multiplayer stuff, they removed special brawl or special
melee as it were entirely for whatever reason.
I don't know why.
I really hope it comes back because if you listen to the announcer's voice clips, which
I listened to all of them because I'm a nerd, he says special Smash.
I bet it's in the God damn Wii version.
The line is in there.
I bet it's in the Wii version.
Why isn't it in the 3DS version?
So I want to take, so just this away from you for just two seconds.
Can I finish my thought?
Oh, yeah.
The version that Sakurai said would be the single player version.
And it has a dearth of single player.
That's not good.
Remember the other ones?
Okay.
I didn't think that thought was coming.
What was the main single player thing for Smash we use was because it's not subspace.
We don't know.
We don't know.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well, that's.
Well, it is Tower of Smash, which is basically event match mode expanded a little bit, which
is awesome because event match mode's amazing.
And it's gone.
There's that.
Already, do you think this might be like a lack of modes and such just because we need
to get this out?
Yes.
Yes.
So just focus on the multiplayer.
Because who cares?
This brawl had what, over five years of development time?
This brawl?
A brawl?
Yeah.
Brawl was.
I wish this game would have had that amount of time.
This game started development after Kid Icarus Uprising in April 2012, Kid Icarus Uprising
shipped.
So this game had just over two years to ship two versions.
And you need all of Namco helping too.
Exactly.
And thus, you look at the trophies and more than ever, there's trophies that are just
assets from other games.
A lot of the voices are the same for my hands.
Just dropped right in.
A lot of voices, a lot of victory themes are just ripped right over.
The characters are more similar than ever to their previous iterations, both in terms
of visual design and in terms of gameplay.
Very few returning characters got overhauled.
Zero Suit did, Ike did, Bowser plays different, Olimar plays different, but most of them
are the same.
There's only 80 tracks in the game.
Yeah, that's the thing that.
I know what you're saying, but what if you don't get the final Brawl?
There's only a bit because next let's brawl.
Let me finish the thought at the end though.
Let me make this real for everyone who thinks like 80 tracks is ridiculous.
The final destination song from Brawl is gone.
But more than that, there's only 80 tracks and only about half of them are new.
The other ones are from various games, including Green Hill Zone from Sonic.
But that godlike Latin orchestra final D song is gone.
Hopefully it comes back at the Wii U review.
It's just a generic Smash Bros. game on final D.
To be clear, that's 80 songs, half of them are new ones, but Melee had 80 original songs
and Brawl had over 250 songs.
And they were completely new orchestrations.
A bunch of them, not all of them, but I don't have a number of them.
That's why Brawl is on a fucking double side like this.
Yes, partially, exactly.
I think they're all great, I love them.
I think it's like clear that that's where most of their time went.
No, exactly, exactly.
And that was the right place to put it, but I wish there was more time.
I don't like the Mees.
I'm not a fan of the whole custom thing because I'm never going to use it because I don't
want to learn bad habits with my character.
I will also never use it, but I think it's cool.
Have you messed with the different moves at all?
Oh yeah, it's on.
And I'm never going to use them because they're just going to teach me bad habits.
Yeah, okay.
And I bet money those are going to be banned and the Mees are going to be banned, so.
I think Mees banned, really.
Because the Mees weight and hitboxes vary depending on the height and width you set your Me in
the Meemaker.
Oh Jesus Christ.
I was having a free match check on every Me, which, you know, we saw Street Fighter Cross
Tekken and Smash was the longest of all fighting game tournaments, but it's not happening.
I think there was a moment that Matt and I had before you got here, Liam, where I was
playing and I was having some fun and I looked at it and it just hit me and I said, Matt,
look at this.
This is the worst character select screen I have ever seen in my life.
And he said, there's no way.
And he looked at it.
And I looked at it for like three seconds and he go, yeah, it's pretty bad.
This is what I was talking about, that everyone called me a crazy person a few weeks ago where
I said the soul has been sucked out of it artistically.
It is like the characters' faces are in little cubes and they are ordered not, they don't
fill up the whole fucking screen and they're just thrown everywhere.
It seems so weird.
It looks like Mees gave that.
It looks really bad.
But when the red light, when the red light turns green and you're like, yeah, it looks
green and you start playing the video game.
We're not there yet.
We're not there yet.
We're not there yet.
Oh, I'm not done complaining.
No, no, no.
That's a whole new era.
That's a whole other section.
That me and Liam share like very similar views on.
Yeah.
But yeah, presentation wise.
Presentations weak.
The menus are basically just a mash of brawl and Kid Icarus' whereas like Smash Brothers
has always been an iterative series and that overhauls everything from game to game.
There's three games now, so it's almost a pattern.
And for this game to just drop the ball there for no reason, what was that fucking function
where you get to look at your trophies and stuff, the menu above that.
In brawl, it used to have the level creator, it used to have stickers, it used to have
a bunch of shit, totally gone.
Stickers have been excised, which means now you get these 2D sprite trophies that look
bad, but they added the equipment thing and the equipment thing is really neat.
I'll never use it, but it's really neat.
Why did they have to remove stickers when stickers served the exact same function in
brawl where they were equipment for your character?
What is equipment?
It's exactly like stickers without the personality.
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
Do you remember in brawl the stickers where this sticker...
Yeah, no, I remember how that worked.
So now it's just you just use the mode out?
Instead of pushing stickers so much in their games and they're actually useful.
Yeah, instead of, oh, this is that cool guy I liked from Oendon who happens to give me
punching power, it's just a little fist icon and it says it gives you punching power.
And minus 10 defense.
It's really boring.
Yeah, so from a feature and presentation perspective, like super lacking, now let's move over to
the gameplay.
Okay, I want to start with the stages first.
Oh, that's...
You're going way deeper than I was going to go.
So, already this game of all the Smash Cams has the most clearly tournament illegal stages.
Oh, yeah.
Gameboy stages, fucking outrageous.
That said, I pretty much don't give a shit about any of these stages because give it
three months and nobody will be playing 3DS tournaments anyway.
Oh, none, yeah.
So these stages don't even matter.
Oh, right, the stages because that's the big difference.
The stages are going to change.
That's the big difference, exactly.
Yeah.
So that doesn't even bother me.
But this game...
Not like the 3DS version would ever be in contention for a tournament play anyway.
Compared to the Wii version.
Compared to the Wii version, exactly.
But I do have a complaint that I hope the Wii version manages to improve on.
This game not only has less new stages than Brawl did, but it also has less classic stages
than Brawl did.
Yeah.
Overall less stages than Brawl did.
And that's not including the Omega ones, of course, but those are just like varieties
of Final Destination.
They're not, you know...
Yeah.
I appreciate that they did that, but I think it was a waste of effort.
There's no need.
Nobody was clamoring for 20 versions of Final D, especially when they're all the exact
same size with the exact same...
Yeah, if there were different lengths.
Yeah, but they don't vary.
They don't vary.
They're exactly the same.
So those are really boring.
I think it's like a good...
Yeah, it's like a good intention, but they kind of didn't really get it, why they're
even doing it.
And, well, and...
Like, well, Default's not a balanced stage in the first place.
Like, like, like, just someone at Nintendo or Sagaite just goes on Twitter and they just
see the words, Final Destination, they're like, oh, okay.
Okay.
And then they just say what we want.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Read the tweets a little bit.
But like, again, it's not a balanced stage in the first place.
Yeah.
Like, why would you do anyway?
That's besides the point.
So, yeah, otherwise the stages are fine.
And then when you get to the characters, two-thirds of the characters, maybe three-quarters of
them are super similar to the way they were in Brawl.
Yeah.
Obviously, like, the engine changes have made it so, like, characters like Mario have, like,
really good juggling and just combo potential in general and stuff.
But like, the difference between switching from 64 to Melee or Melee to Brawl is that
I automatically know which characters I like and don't and I automatically know which ones
I don't want to play.
This would be like if I popped in Street Fighter V and they played almost just like they did
in Street Fighter IV.
And Woolly, I'm sure you can agree between SF 2 and 3 and 3 and 4, every character is
different.
And Alpha.
And Alpha, yeah.
The world is turned upside down.
Yeah.
Ryu is no longer the same Ryu.
And unfortunately in Smash 4, a lot of the characters are far too similar.
I wish Ganondorf was different.
I had said before release I want them to be the same selfishly, but-
And now you get them and you're like, oh.
Well, no, because I knew this was going to happen.
And now I'm just like, I wish it had been different.
I would have taken a character I don't want over the same Ganondorf that I love.
See that's all really like low level.
That's interesting.
That's all very core level complaints.
I have a much broader complaint and it's, I don't want to play this fucking game on
my 3DS.
Sure.
And this game really suffers from being on a handheld.
The control issues are there.
There are actual control issues with like the analog pad is not enough.
It's not adequate.
Not adequate at all.
And, but that's not my biggest problem.
My biggest problem is you're playing on a stage and some stage thing happens.
And even if you're only one on one, it zooms out and now I cannot see my character.
I had a match where I was playing as Rosalina against Link.
An item has spawned and you both go to the other end.
I could not see Link's bombs, period.
And from some of the hits that I was getting, I don't think the other player could see Luma
either.
And that sucks.
Yeah.
That really sucks.
Do you have a thick outline on?
Yes.
But no.
The whole thing is.
Link's bombs at max distance are one pixel in size.
But you have a thick outline.
It doesn't, doesn't help.
It doesn't help projectiles.
No.
I don't really care.
The main thing is that even if you're close up, is there a difference on your projectiles?
No.
Well, if you're close up, if you're close up, the camera will zoom in and you'll be able
to see stuff.
Yeah, but if you're, you know, like, exactly.
Like, this needs to be on a television.
Yeah.
And, and the analog stick is not enough.
Yeah.
No, the, the.
Do you get, do you get used to the analog stick at the very least?
Because I was having trouble.
I'm getting used to it.
Maneuvering.
But I'm still going, fuck this thing.
You absolutely get used to it, but it creates issues with doing tilts and stuff and it's
not.
Like it, you just drop moves.
It's like.
It's like you had to running when I mean to walk to pick something up.
It's like if you had to play Street Fighter 4 or the 360 pad every time.
You will fuck up.
Or a 360 stick.
Yeah.
I always, I always felt strongly this is one of those examples.
Like maybe not like a hundred percent of the time, but it's like handhelds should have
their own games.
And if you try to take console games.
I totally agree.
And pair them down.
Like sometimes it works, but most of the time it's like.
I totally agree.
You can't have the same experience.
This one, like dude, like when me and you or me or you and Liam or play it, like you're
going to notice sometimes where you're like, my character is so fucking small.
I cannot see what's happening here.
Not super often, but it happens.
Yeah.
And what's the worst stage so far?
The worst stage?
The worst stage?
I would say that Game Boy 1.
Oh, I like the Game Boy 1.
I hate it.
Well, you like it, but it's not a good stage.
Worst.
I don't know.
I don't know if I have a worst stage because I've already like turned off all the stages
I don't like.
Oh, yeah.
So I've already ignored all the ones I don't like.
Like, uh.
And now.
That's a good question.
Now I feel weird.
I don't like the torturer.
We have all these complaints.
The game's still so much fun.
I'm playing so much great, but all I can think about, all I can think about when I play it
is how I want to play the Wii U version.
Of course.
That's literally all I can think about is like, I want, I want to play it on my television
where I can see the characters.
There's some type of appetizer, what did you say?
So what, who's review?
I distinctly saw two different reviews and one of them was maybe Kotaku.
I just saw the end thing and it's just like, it's a great game.
It's really fun.
I cannot shake the feeling that this is just the little morsel that we're getting an appetizer
between the main course.
It is the weirdest feeling I have ever felt where I paid $45 to play a demo that had all
the characters in it.
But it's not.
Can you call that a demo?
It's not a demo.
Me and Cranky Construct had this exact same conversation.
But that's how it actually feels.
I bet you if you didn't play that actual demo that came out, you would have felt slightly
different.
No, the Wii U demo felt that.
I would rather have the Wii U demo than this game.
The one we played at PAX?
Yeah.
Or do you mean the 3DS demo?
No, I mean the 3DS demo that came out that people got coded for.
No, but I agree with Liam.
I would be more satisfied with the weight for Brawl on, Smash on Wii U with the package
demo for Wii U than this entire game.
Because of these little issues.
Tell me about the new characters.
Okay.
Do we have to go?
All right.
We'll go to the new characters.
All of them.
So Lucina is Marth.
Dark Pit.
Marth with no tip hitbox.
No tipper, but otherwise for no reason.
Dark Pit's exactly the same.
It's sort of similar.
Dark Pit, no, he has a lightning thing instead of a fire one that shoots them diagonal instead
of up.
Otherwise identical.
Dr. Mario is the only one who has any significant difference.
He's down B is that spin attack that I like instead of the flood one, vanilla Mario.
Bowser's really fun now that he walks.
I see a lot of people saying, oh, I'm switching to Bowser.
Oh, Bowser kicks ass.
I love him, Bowser.
Ganondorf's exactly the same.
He's a new character.
He's a little bit better.
He's a new character.
Oh yeah.
Duck Hunt Dog kicks ass and uses all the Hogan's Alley guys.
I have never seen a single in-game image of Duck Hunt yet and I want to be, I don't want
to.
Duck Hunt's moves revolve around using the Hogan's Alley can.
That's awesome.
Or the guys themselves from Hogan's Alley.
Is the dog heavy or light?
Actually, he's medium kind of.
Okay.
Well, there are way too many new characters for us to go into on this.
His moves, it's interesting because it's not like dog based.
It's completely zap.
No, it's completely zapper based.
Yeah.
All his smashes are the zapper.
No, just the turret.
It's like, I want to pull out of his attacks because he throws out the goddamn sheep.
The clay pigeon.
The clay pigeon.
That's so good.
And shoots it.
Yeah.
It's absurd.
It's totally zapper based.
It's really fun.
But yeah, no.
All I want is what we do.
Robin's really hefty.
Yeah, Robin's good.
Little Mac's really fun, but it makes Forglory annoying because Little Mac is always on his
best stage in Forglory.
Well, good.
He deserves it.
He's the champ.
It's still a pain in the ass though.
Sure.
Where it's like, I'm selecting random and it's Little Mac every time against question
mark character.
I think that Little Mac has one glaring weakness and it's like, I have never suicided so much
by accident.
Then with his side B.
His side B goes so far, does not stop at the edge and you are fucked if you go off that
edge.
You are done.
Yeah, instantly dead.
Yeah.
Little Mac's really good though.
He's exceptionally good.
A smash.
And he's fun to use.
Oh yeah, he's fun.
Which is really important.
The online, for the most part, totally works.
Yeah.
Like, I play four player games with some people a lot and every now and then it was shit,
but most of the time it's smooth sailing.
Yeah.
The only things I don't like about the online is again, like final destination mandatory
in Forglory and two stock is not a good match.
Yeah, probably the weirdest thing is that it's slanted so far in specifically Little
Mac's favor, because if he gets the first stock on you, then his KO punch wins it.
Well, that's great and that sucks if you're not into it.
I really hope this is heralding the year of Mac.
They're pushing it as well.
They're pushing it really hard in this way, like this subtle way, and then like 2015 is
just going to be the year of Mac.
When fucking Virgil turned out to be great in Marvel, how do you think I felt?
But no, I really hope that rumored Wii U HD remake is punch out Wii.
Yeah, that'd be awesome.
That'd be super awesome.
That'd be super awesome.
Yeah.
So did you do anything else with your week, Liam?
I did.
I did.
Yeah.
I had more Smash complaints.
Oh, what?
We've gone?
No.
We've complained about Smash, man.
I'm 41.
No, no, no, no.
Honestly, Liam, get into it, man.
Okay, fine.
That was fine.
So I really like the new boss in classic mode, and have you seen it in the MasterCorp?
MasterCorp.
MasterCorp.
MasterCorp.
MasterCorp.
MasterCorp.
MasterCorp.
MasterCorp.
MasterCorp is awesome, and that's about it for what I like from the single player modes.
Smash Run is no city trial, no matter which way you look at it.
It's just not as fun.
It's all right.
It's really good.
That's city trial from Kirby's air ride.
Exactly.
No one knows what you're talking about.
But everyone always nudges me, because they know I love that game, and say, hey, city
trial in Smash, and I'm like, yeah, it's not going to be city trial.
It's not the same.
It's not the same, exactly.
It's not the same situations where it's like, okay, so the final event is a race, and Sonic
is one of your opponents, and even with no upgrades, he's going to win.
One time I was playing his little game at my speed at 1,000, and I fucking booked it,
and they were off the side of the screen in a second.
It's great.
No, I mean, that's not one of my problems with it.
The random factor is kind of the fun of that mode, but I mean, for a lot of people I can
see how that's not fun at all.
The game, it's just such an insubstantial jump from Brawl, and it's disappointing after
two big iterations to have a significant jump down in content.
Now, you know what?
I think it was almost two years ago, where Sakurai had a quote saying, oh, for the next
Smash, we cannot just rest on the rules and do the same thing.
I remember talking to you about that, and you were like, hmm, and he said, we have to make
it different.
I think that probably was the intention at the very start, that it's like, Nintendo's
like, we need to make this right now.
But from just the mountain of content perspective, when Brawl hit immediately looking at it,
I said, where do you go from here?
You can't surpass this mountain.
You were completely right.
And I wasn't expecting it to surpass Brawl, no, but I was expecting it to at least surpass
Melee.
You know, and I think it's something to be said, where the game's been out for three
days at the time of recording.
Within the first two days, I finished all the single player content with every character.
And I beat Classic on intensity nine, that was no problem, and I've done Smash Run with
everybody.
And the challenge grid, you remember the challenge grid in Brawl?
Barely.
Yes, yes, yes.
There are less challenges in this game than there were in Brawl, and that is a statement
as to how much content there is in this game.
I'm disappointed.
I really like the game.
I've played over 30 hours.
I can't wait to play more.
I hope this is just the B version, and the Wii U has all the stuff that we are complaining
about.
Yeah, exactly.
You're saying all the stuff like, what exactly do you think they would, like, you know...
Well, my biggest non-gameplay complaint is that there needs to be like, way more music.
That's...
The music's actually like, weird.
There's so little of it.
The fact that, like, that song, that goddamn Latin Final D song is gone, like, that is
the worst.
The 3DS margins hold, what, like, one game or something?
This game is just over one, it could be up to two, and they could...
So, I really, really hope that, like, all the songs that I want are in, like, you know...
Well, and maybe proper quality audio as well, because boy, the 3DS kills that quality.
The remix of the Melee theme is pretty great, though.
It's pretty good, but not in this quality.
Like I can't wait for the Wii version.
I mean, it's good, and you can hear how it's musically good, but like, boy...
The only plus they'll give to the controls on the 3DS version is that it's taught me
that I don't need a GameCube controller.
I'll do fine with a ProPad, because it has the analog stick to it.
I'm still going with that one, but whatever.
Yeah, but no, for most people, I'm sure they'll just go ProController.
Oh yeah, I'm sure a lot of people will try to switch.
It's gig-cube, it's insanity.
Yeah.
Oh, fuck, what was the...
I know, I know, you want me to roll on with this, but like, it's a significant game.
It's not just Shadow of Mordor.
Yeah, you're right.
You know, exactly.
It's really good, and I hope...
Actually, it kind of is, and isn't that sad?
I know.
I just hope the Wii U version returns to a larger amount of content.
That rumor of Tower of Smash sounds really good, but like, it's just disappointing.
Yeah.
Unfortunately, this isn't something I fault the game for, but like, the 3DS is really
holding it back.
Oh yeah.
Oh yeah.
So the 3DS's OS, when you boot this game, it re-
It takes like 10 seconds to load the game!
Okay, because it literally shuts off the OS, and opens a secondary version of the OS that
is light, and you can't run the internet browser, you can't run a browser.
Yeah, the new 3DS says you'll be able to use Miiverse with this game, but the standard
3DS is canon.
And this is why they couldn't do the CirclePad Pro, because the CirclePad Pro takes up too
much pro...
It takes about 10% of the 3DS's processing power.
10% they couldn't spare, even by turning off the internet, turning off Miiverse.
You know, like the 3DS is really throttled, I'm like.
Yeah.
And that's why we don't have ice climbers.
We don't have ice climbers, but also a lot of the stages are just like, are just 2D,
and they're not interesting.
I love the big blue stage.
It's awesome.
Yeah.
You know, there's so much of them that are just unimpressive, that it shows that if
I was like this magical god that would like to say, yeah, that's a good idea, make that.
And if Nintendo said, we're going to make two versions of Smash, one for 3DS, I'd take
that deal.
Yeah.
I'd say, I know what you mean by it's held back by the thing, but it's like you're going
to make money.
You know, like so many games, you know, like Knack, like Rise, Summer, Rome, on paper,
you green light that.
Yeah.
And then...
It's the 3DS version because that Wii U version is not going to set up.
Dude, it's going to sell a lot.
It's going to sell a lot.
Everyone with a Wii U will probably buy it, so it still doesn't mean it's going to sell
a lot.
Us four guys.
Yeah, that's true.
Dude, it's going to sell a lot.
I can't possibly see doing better than all.
Mario Kart sold over a million, easy.
Yeah.
Last question, last question.
Greninja.
What's going on?
Oh, he's awesome.
Greninja's really good.
He's awesome.
Like, like, obviously like early tier lists are bullshit, but he's high.
Yeah, he's good.
He's tall and fast.
He's a lot of fun to use, too.
Yeah.
I'm really bummed.
He's a ninja.
I'm really bummed because like Ganondorf and Palutena, who are like my favorites to
play, are super shit.
Yeah, they're so...
I could tell they were super shit right away, and I don't know nothing about that.
Palutena's really disappointing.
Oh, yeah.
She's boring.
She's boring.
She's not super fun to play even.
Yeah.
I like Lucina a lot.
I'm playing a lot of her.
Yeah.
She's Martha, that weird hitbox shit.
Well, because I like Martha and it's just like I want something different.
Yeah.
Actually, that's one of my biggest bummers was like none of the characters got visual
refreshers except for Ike and Zero Suit and Martha got reverted to his melee design.
You say it's a weird thing, but Fox, Falco, Link, DK, the majority of the cast got visual
refresh from melee to Brawl.
Yeah, but did most of those characters even have new games in between then and now?
But Fox got a new design.
He got a new game.
Really?
Zero Suit.
I thought he got Zero Suit.
I thought he had his GameCube design from Dinosaur or whatever.
No.
No.
Maybe Star Fox Assault.
Zero Suit, Samus and Ike both got designs without a new game.
Ike's design was from an additional art for opening and Zero Suit's was, I think it's
just a made up design.
In fact, I'm not sure if it's from Other M.
I think they just designed it for fun.
And like certain characters like Link and Sheik, I really wish they'd had a design update.
Hyrule Warrior Sheik and Skyward Shorts.
Yeah, Hyrule Warrior Shorts.
Because the Hyrule Warrior designs are still awesome.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're all great.
I wish Link had that blue scar.
Skyward Sword Link would have been cool though.
Yeah.
I would have been down.
That's puffy pants.
How does Toon Link play?
Like Toon Link.
Yeah.
But like, again, they jumped into 64 and then they laid a brawl.
It didn't carry over and the characters don't get refreshed.
And so, I just don't feel like playing as half the cast because I already know them.
Yeah.
No, I totally agree.
That, I completely agree.
It's, you know, we got 18 new characters counting three clones and counting three Mies
who are basically three.
Those three clones are like, dark pit is so, such a bummer.
Worse than actually good and evil coal.
Yeah.
Like, they're actually way worse than that.
Except that you're still coal.
But, at least they were different.
Yeah, but you're still being coal.
Pit has a single change that means nothing.
18 new characters with three clones and three of them being the Mies who I'm not going to
touch because they're going to be bad probably.
You know, so like 12.
Also the Mies look really bad next to the other characters.
They pretty much do.
I guess they're supposed to.
Yeah.
That's always been the problem with Mies.
Every time you put them next to the character that's in the game, they look terrible.
They look weird.
Yeah.
So, you know, 12 new real characters at the expense of the vast majority of the other
characters not being significantly different.
Yeah, it's a bummer.
And it's a bummer.
It's a bummer.
That's how I feel about Smash 3DS.
You got anything happier to talk about?
I played more Hyrule Warriors.
That game's really, really fun.
That game's just a bummer.
That game does not want for character content.
No.
That is just a bundle of fun.
That's a game that's only about character content.
Did you know they're just patching three new characters in soon?
No.
They are.
We mean Volga and Wizro and Sia, exactly.
And Sia?
Yeah, they're just getting past them.
Oh, yeah.
No, because she has the costume.
That's awesome.
They already made the full moose sets for them.
Still waiting for that goose, though.
Yo, LV and DLC3, I bet.
Yeah.
Oh, god.
They're crazy.
Is that the last one?
There's four.
Dude, I can't wait.
Which ones are announced?
Which ones are announced?
The only one with the details announced is the Master Quest pack with the Sia and Lana
costumes as well.
Yeah.
And then, is that also one that has a pono?
Yes.
So then there's three more.
That's the only one.
Is that one?
There's Majora's Mask.
There's the Majora's Mask one.
Yeah.
Will you see that?
No, I didn't.
Well, there's no visuals of it yet, but there's a Majora's Mask DLC pack for it.
Or it's named the Majora's Mask anyway, so.
Okay.
Like Ruto and a few characters get their designs from that rock band.
Oh, yeah.
That's actually the first DLC.
Oh, Jesus.
No, that's actually in the patch, because the patch for those three characters unlocks
a new adventure map that is double the size.
Yeah.
There's patches that are...
I feel really confused as to what I have in my game.
There's patches that are three that patch the game and fix up any stuff, but they also
just throw, like the 8-bit sword was a patch thing.
Yeah, then there's the A DLC.
Matt chasing after Groose is just the longest carrot on a string I've ever seen.
It's gonna happen.
It's gonna happen.
And here's the thing.
You're crazy.
Here's the thing.
It's like if the game sucked, I'd be really bummed about it, right?
But the game is good.
But the game is fun, so it's like I want to always be chasing Groose in slow motion.
Yeah.
Otherwise, I guess, I beat Shadow of Mordor.
Like you said.
Like 100% was good.
You did 100%?
Yeah.
I went back to that second area and just gave up on the side glass, because they're not
very interesting.
No, I did everything.
It's a good game.
Yeah, good game.
Other than that, I think that was, yeah, like I spent most of my time on Smash, which
is weird, because that's just Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
Yeah.
But I guess I was playing High Reward waiting for Smash.
It's true.
I checked my 3DS play time, and I have like 20 hours on the demo.
So, like, yeah, I was playing that a lot leading up to it, too.
All right, let's get into the news then.
Oh, wait.
One more thing.
One more thing.
I played Natural Doctrine.
You remember last week, I said I was looking forward to it, that ultra-hard tactical RPG?
Holy shit.
It's ultra-hard.
It is masochistic.
Like original XCOM, hard?
Or worse.
Oh!
This game is so absurdly hard.
This game is offensively difficult.
I love it, but I can't fucking get anywhere.
It's so goddamn hard.
Oh my god.
Yeah, good.
I'm trying, and I am playing it, and I'm gonna beat it.
And you feel like you're getting nowhere?
I'm slowly.
Yeah.
You know, after four tries, I'll beat a mission.
Yeah.
If any character dies, you have to restart the game.
Also, do the people...
I see the comments, no, I am not turning into a dog.
Woof.
Because I'm saying woof a lot lately.
Oh, wow.
That is not part of a dog-based transformation.
Yeah, for anyone confused up there.
I see you.
Sorry, eh.
Yeah, alright.
Well, like, what's the deal?
Well, there's some news we should just skip to right away.
I was just gonna say, really, really quickly, just because Pat mentioned it, you said original
XCOM.
I've seen this game suddenly pop up everywhere.
So I'm getting called Falling Skies that came out on every system that plays exactly
like XCOM.
And it's called Falling Skies the Game, meaning that there's some other property that it's
based on.
I don't know.
I never heard what that is.
Please let us know.
There's no knowledge here.
Completely in the dark, man.
Okay, so what's this news thing you want to jump to, Pat?
Well, it's like down the list.
Like, it was originally like halfway down the list that I put together, but since we talked
about Smash for so long, we might as well just go-
Let me try to find the copy of it over here.
No, wait.
Oh, wait.
I have the list in front of me.
Fucking calm down, Woolly.
Take it easy.
This is the worst podcast ever.
Yeah, because I put this one together.
Yeah.
No, but Smash 3DS sold out in Japan.
Shocker.
It's sold- It's up to 1.47 million copies already.
1.47 million copies.
You see, Pat, what you need to do is master the art of segue.
Oh, we should.
That's true.
You're right.
He is really good at this.
The segues are strong.
But I did segue you from Smash to Smash.
Yeah, but you-
I was trying to say-
You tried to block.
No, I was trying to say let me go outside and find the copy.
Oh, wait.
I can't.
Oh, it's better than what you were saying.
Damn it.
Damn it.
You're so right.
You're so right.
Damn it.
Just fix it in post.
Damn it.
But yeah, no, it's sold out.
That game sold out.
The shit version of this game sold out.
So, Woolly, I'm shocked.
Woolly, you mentioned how you must have played it a little bit.
There or no?
Just the demo on the original demo.
Yeah.
I had a footnote attached to that.
Which was?
So, we, me and you, Liam, we're just really butthurt and we want that Wii U version.
Despite the really good 3DS version.
I think I know when that Wii U version is going to come out.
Yeah, I think we all know when it's Smash for Wii U.
And Amiibo is open to that.
I swear to God, it's like every three days there's a new flyer.
Yeah.
That's like, hey, Smash Wii U out on the 21st of November.
And Nintendo's like, no.
No.
We'll buy the 3DS version.
The Wii U version, super far away.
Don't think about that.
Don't think about it.
Don't look over there.
It's this weird thing.
Can you really wait a month?
I mean, come on.
It's like, buy the 3DS version because the Wii U version is super far away.
But then on the other end, they're like, no, no, the Wii U has a game for holiday.
We promise.
At the end of the day, all that matters is that in November, people can find both on
a shelf when they're shopping for gifts.
Woolly, to you, I would honestly say, like, consider considering you're getting back.
I don't know.
I don't agree with what you're going to say.
I don't agree with that.
You know, when people say holiday, it's like, yeah, holiday, but if you go into the store
in November or December, it's like, while they're not technically the newest ones, you
can still see Hyrule Warriors and Bayonetta 2 sitting there.
I know it's not November is the holiday games, but it's like.
Of course.
I hope they are.
With this half-ass release schedule, the ability to wait six weeks is easy.
There is no fucking way in hell I am not going to use little Mac in a world where I can't.
No, buy that game, Woolly.
I would not say that.
But Ultimax is better.
That's the thing that breaks me.
Do you know what the answer is by both?
Yes.
Can't play Ultimax on the toilet.
Just spend all your money.
Yeah, I can.
You can, actually.
I do not very well.
It's not a good idea.
No, the people in the room are really mad that I'm talking to them on my microphone.
Jesus, all these fighting games coming out.
I don't know what to buy.
All of them.
Like, right?
All of it.
Fuck.
All of it.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, man.
Well.
Yeah, no.
That's so that.
Exactly.
So the amiibo thing is going down November 21st as well.
Oh, by the way, Woolly, did you see that fucking amiibo, but that common writer Skylanders
game?
Yeah.
Yeah, man.
Like that.
That's fucking amazing.
I don't even know what type of game it is.
It's an arena-based action game.
Yeah.
So it's basically Skylanders.
Yeah.
Well, it's the one I talked about a couple of weeks ago where I said, it's like amiibo
except they're all doing sick writer kicks.
Yeah.
But now something came out about it this week.
Yeah, they put out the first trailer they announced a month ago, but then they showed
it off proper and it looks all right.
Yeah.
You remember I bought into Skylanders recently because it was super on sale because I wanted
to know?
Yeah.
I sold it already.
Yeah.
I used too much of a kids game.
Yeah.
And I'm excited to give Disney Infinity a swing because I hear it's a bit above that.
I saw that.
I got some pretty decent reviews.
It did.
It's developed with aspects developed by Ninja Theory.
Hey, that'll be fun.
There you go.
But I mean, like, let's be real.
If Ninja Theory made a character in that game, that'll at least be fun to play.
Yeah, probably.
That'll be fun to play.
You know, I mean, that's.
Woolly.
I'd rather just hear about Infinity ironically on the giant bonfire.
Yeah, exactly.
I would just love to hear more shit talk about Johnny V.
About Disney Infinity, Marvel 2.0, whatever, than to actually play any of it.
Sure.
Yeah.
But like the comment writer one looks a lot more involved in terms of the combat and
stuff and mechanics.
So it might be a good game.
Yeah.
Better than Skylanders.
So, Woolly, you can't wait like six weeks to play Smash, right?
Is that what you're saying?
That's correct.
You cannot wait six weeks.
Remember, Woolly, like you said you're a casual friend, but Woolly like went to Smash
tournament.
Imagine if you were a super fan of something and you had to wait 25 years before you got
something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
So that gum you like is going to come back in style.
Twin Peaks is coming back.
So I woke up at like, kind of in the morning or around 10 this morning and I go on NeoGaff
and usually like when I go into NeoGaff and it'll say gaming forum and off topic forum
and I saw off topic forum and I saw just the headline I saw Twin Peaks revive and I go,
that's because that's where it cuts off and I'm like, I'm going to go to gaming forum.
That's probably nothing.
And then I go, I swing my mouse back and go, wait a minute, wait a minute.
I'm just going again.
Wait a minute.
And I saw that.
I come and paste it.
I send it to Pat.
I send it to my Twitter.
I just went nuts because I'm like, whew.
So I wake up.
The answer is swearing.
And I wake up and I look at my phone and I have a missed call.
And I think to myself, who the fuck actually calls me on my telephone.
The answer is no one.
So I go, what?
And then I check.
So I have several texts going check Facebook right now.
And I go, okay, this is probably really bad.
This is probably like, uh-oh, someone's dead or legal trouble.
And I go and it's like, no, Twin Peaks is back and they announced it with like Mark Frost
and Lynch go on Twitter and just saying that gum you like is going to come back in style.
And there's like, they put up a little video with Laura Palmer going, I'll see you in 25
years, which is an actual line in season two.
Yeah.
So from the season finale of I'll just see you in 25 years.
And next year we'll be.
No, not next year.
2016.
Yeah.
Sorry, 2016.
Which is what happened.
It started production in 2015.
Yeah.
There will be a new Twin Peaks.
That's awesome.
And they made it work out.
And it has been the only detail that's confirmed is that it's not a reboot.
Yeah.
So it'll.
It'll sort of continue.
Which is going to be tough.
Actually, is it actually a third season or is it a movie?
It's a third season.
It's nine episodes.
Well, it just says nine episodes on showtime.
That's all.
It didn't really use the language.
It'll be a third season.
And like, yeah, that's going to be tough because a bunch of those people are dead or melted.
Yeah.
It's fine.
We'll leave you for a call.
I talked about when I finished the Blu-ray and I said at the end of the second season,
they were like, we really need the network to, you know, renew this.
And we're just going to kill off tons of people and get no explanations for it.
And it's like the most cliffhangery.
What the fuck happens now?
I really want to see.
It's the cliffhangerist ending that's ever existed.
And it was like that up until the last week.
Yeah.
For decades.
Like just like it was this thing.
It was it's such a cliffhanger that the recommendation to watch Twin Peaks is built upon.
Yeah.
Can you handle the most bullshit cliffhanger ever?
It's like, it's like, it's like if there wasn't any more Berserk manga and saying,
you can watch this anime.
Yeah.
But I warned you.
Yeah.
And that's it.
It's like, fuck.
Like, are they going to get cooped back?
Are they going to get like?
I think you would get cooped back.
You know, Lara Flynn Boyle is not going to be back.
First of all, she was the most useless character in the entire fucking show.
And like I said, the girl that plays Audrey and the girl that plays Shelly 25 years later,
they're still beautiful.
So hot.
They could totally be in the thing.
So hot still.
Kyle McLaughlin.
He's super hot still.
Like out of all of those, all I want to know is what happened to Shelly and Leo.
That's it.
If I find out.
If I find out.
If I find out.
I won't have to coop.
Yeah.
I won't coop.
Whatever.
Whatever.
But you remember how it ended for Shelly and Leo.
Yes.
Yes.
Yeah.
Just like what the god damn.
I can't believe this is happening.
It is one of those like things that you never thought.
I wonder if Swerry will decide to watch Twin Peaks now.
I was talking to my fiance.
She said that.
That wasn't my mouth.
That was my ass cheeks actually farting.
Yeah.
I want for like Deadly Premedition 2 to be announced for 2017.
Yeah.
And just like he built the engine and access games and then he watches this season.
He doesn't watch it.
Or he doesn't watch it.
He's never seen it.
I need them to make this so then I can make my thing.
Oh man.
But I was talking to her and she said that Blu-ray must have done super well.
Like why else?
Yeah.
And I remember Netflix had Twin Peaks.
For a while.
And it was a big deal like two years ago.
Yeah.
And they must have gotten like huge traffic on that.
No.
The thirst for Twin Peaks coffee.
After 25 years.
The show is real.
The executives at a place like Showtime AMC can't just be like yeah I like that thing.
Let's bring it.
No.
There's got to be some sort of adventure.
And I haven't saw Twin Peaks timeless.
I'd say that it's fucking weird in a way that works well now.
And it's not timeless.
It's Lynch man.
It's Lynch.
It's not timeless but it also ages alright compared to other stuff from that era.
I think it's better now than it probably was when it came out.
I was watching it with real friends recently.
Everyone knows David Lynch now too.
And her dad was just like you're watching Twin Peaks.
Why?
Because it kicks ass my girlfriend's dad.
He assumed it completely vanished after 25 years.
When I mentioned my parents a while ago that I started watching Twin Peaks they were like
oh I never liked that show when that was on.
I didn't really understand it.
Yeah.
And I was like yeah.
Okay.
It wasn't made for you.
It wasn't made for you mom.
It was made for me 25 years in the future.
Seriously it was though.
It actually was.
It actually kind of was.
Oh man.
Yeah.
I can't.
But like again in this post-Mohalan Drive world like people in the whole Lynch world
they figured them out.
I haven't seen Mohalan Drive but like people tell me that that's almost unwatchable.
Too Lynchy.
Oh no.
Too Lynchy.
And I watched Blue Velvet not too long ago.
And that was not great.
No.
No.
No.
No.
Okay.
Look.
Mohalan Drive.
Mohalan Drive is unwatchable.
Well he's moving it in his seat.
He's getting ready.
Because it's unwatchable but then you go and you read the fucking theory write up piece
that accompanies it.
Right.
And then it's perfect.
Yeah.
It makes so much sense right.
Did you read it before or after you watch it after?
You read it after.
You have to read it after.
Okay.
Right.
Just like Akira.
You just raised my time?
Yeah.
The answer is no.
Yeah.
Just thinking about it.
However, Wild at Heart is a waste of everyone's time and money.
Wild at Heart, yeah.
We were thinking about it.
And only watch that if you're about to commit suicide.
Right.
Just fucking.
Yeah.
All of that.
Wild at Heart is the one that he did with Nick Cage.
Yeah.
Oh fuck that.
Oh yeah.
Oh my god.
I don't like him in the first place.
Yeah.
You know that Christian book series called Left Behind?
Yeah.
Oh my god.
Yeah.
You saw that Nicolas Cage just came out this past Friday with a movie of that.
Fuck you.
And it has 2% on Rotten Tomatoes.
And then they're like, we don't understand Nick Cage's career anymore.
And this movie reboots it really hard to have as little religious themes, but they're still
kind of there.
And I was like.
He wants to create a Wicker Man meme again.
Yeah.
I want to see you.
Yeah.
I need more people talking about, did you see that the guy that's making Final Fantasy
15's like, no, make more car memes here, we'll even give you a car version.
A official Photoshop template for the car meme.
Because he loves it.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
And they're really high quality.
And there's an official one of them staring at boobs from the Cinderella and Kagura god.
Yeah.
My favorite one is still the drive through.
But like, I love the one of them looking out on the FF4 render of them looking over a cliff.
Yeah.
That one's amazing.
But there's an official, what the fuck?
The Madden gift generator.
Yeah.
But the Madden gift generator is the greatest thing Madden's ever given us.
Like, as unsubtle as it is, like every time I saw those Madden things of us and all of
our like, catch phrases, I was laughing my ass off.
But the Final Fantasy thing.
The best one.
Sorry, what?
The best one I've seen is the fucking drive club one by a country mile.
It's them looking out at like a road and then they start floating into the sky and spinning
around and the world goes crazy and then it just fades out to a logo that says drive club.
I have to see this.
Is this a gift for a video?
It's a gift.
It's a gift.
Okay, I've got to find this.
I'm fucking searching this right now.
The Final Fantasy thing.
There's a Sephiroth one that's really good too.
Yeah, I know I've seen that one.
That really smacked me as like, please keep talking about Final Fantasy.
Please, please.
Please always keep it in the front of your mind.
Well, yeah.
If I'm going to trust anyone with Final Fantasy, it's Hajime Tabata.
Yeah.
Who again managed to ship four Final Fantasy games before this game was finished.
It's true.
And is now going to ship this one.
You have a strong argument here, Leo.
And is going to ship type zero before this one finishes.
It's true.
For the second time.
So, if there's anyone I'm going to trust on it, it's this guy.
Please keep thinking of Final Fantasy.
Yeah.
Love this guy.
And speaking of things that we should keep talking about.
And you know what I can't stop thinking about?
What?
Are we segway fighting?
Yes, you're segway fighting.
Are we both just thinking of bad segways simultaneously?
Yes, so don't do it.
Oh.
Billy was here first.
Go, Pat.
Go.
No, no, Pat, go.
No, hold on.
Shit.
Do you remember?
I was talking to you about this before, man.
Yeah, you remember?
Do you remember when Tomb Raider was coming out?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
And it got to that point where every single time someone opened their mouth, you would
a producer or a developer, you would just go shut the fuck up.
Stop talking.
You are making Tomb Raider look so bad.
Just shut your fucking mouth.
Pat, we were going to the same place.
We were going.
Wow.
Yeah.
Well, Assassin's Creed Unity is there now.
Because every single thing they could say about this game, like when you created the
segment, Ubi Please, I never thought for a second that it was actually going to become
a segment.
Like we would never get this return, right?
So we have an interview where they're talking to one of the PR guys for AC Unity about what
the game is going to run at, what the frame rate is, what the resolution is.
And they're talking in development terms about how they're actually kind of frustrated because
they're CPU bound because of the AI that they're running.
So they can't like manage to push the frame rate any higher because it's CPU bound.
So the logical conclusion is to lock, oh god, do I have the fucking, they locked the frame
rate and resolution, quote, to avoid all the debates and stuff about the two consoles
and then saying, but we're CPU bound.
Now let's take a second.
I'm going to, I hope the listener can bear with me and go with dumb down Pat's guide
to what the word CPU bound means.
When you play a PC game, like a real time strategy, like say Dawn of War, this is a
Dawn of War two, this happened to me, where I did not have nearly as strong of a CPU as
I had a graphics processor.
And it didn't matter what I changed on the graphics side.
That game ran like shit because the CPU in general deals with game logic.
Who's going where, what this guy's doing, the reaction of these events.
You shot that guy what happens and the GPU or graphics processing unit or your video
card, whatever, has to deal with how many lines are on the screen, how shiny is the
shiny thing.
The pretty bullshit.
So when I hear we're CPU bound and that's why the resolution is this, that is a fucking
lie.
If you are CPU bound, it doesn't matter what the fucking resolution is, you can put it
to anything you want and it wouldn't matter.
I think that Ubisoft knows that no one plays Assassin's Creed games that much on PC because
they always ship them really late.
Because they fucked them up and they fucked them up so maybe they thought they could get
away with it.
But it's this kind of PR thing that always makes me baffle because anyone who is smart
enough or savvy enough to follow this, to follow this actual interview is going to know
that this guy is completely full of shit.
If you didn't know that, you can just see the problem.
It's so obvious.
And also, if you bought an Xbox original and you saw a guy saying, yeah, we dumbed down
the resolution because the PS2 can't do an HD, you'd be pissed off.
Well, it's the same thing as when you go to an EV games and you hear some guy say, oh
yeah, the Wii can't even display graphics.
Yeah.
And then you're like, no, that's not true.
It totally can.
He's like, oh, I think I know a little bit more about it.
It's like very, very likely the PlayStation 4 version of this game could actually hit
1080.
Or at least something higher than 930.
But they decided to level it out either due to co-marketing deal or the debates and stuff.
That doesn't make too much sense to me because the last couple of Assassin's Creed games have
always favored PlayStation with more bonus missions and they've always ran better on
the 360.
Yeah.
So now that I've got a date with Assassin's Creed China and I've got my flowers and my
tux and I'm walking down the street, I don't need to pick up Arno out of the shitty, my
pool that he's waiting in because I'm just, no, I know, he's just going to buy AC Unity,
not play it and just wait for it, like, let's say everything in that interview is accurate.
Are you PR man for one of the largest publishers in video games, telling me that your development
staff kneecapped the performance of your game because of people arguing about specs on the
internet?
That's what I wanted to hear.
Like, are you actually implying that you are damaging your game to avoid message board
arguments?
Hey, oh, what's Ubisoft going to do next?
Complete a game and just leave it on shelves and all that?
Oh, who let that guy say that?
Yeah.
Who let him speak?
Who let these Ubisoft dogs out, man?
What's up?
Do you remember that joke we made back in the day where it was like, you go buy Zona the
Ender's HD and then you pull out the Revengeance Disc and just toss Zoe in the trash?
Yeah.
But you remember how we said?
You never do that.
Never do that.
But we're getting close to that reality right now.
We're getting close to that reality.
But didn't that also happen for the original release of Zoe too?
Yeah, it did.
It did.
Like, Zona the Ender forever shackled to Raiden.
Yeah.
Specifically.
Yeah.
You totally right.
Like, I don't want to be that guy, but this honestly makes me like, it gives me a bad feeling
about this game.
I don't want to buy Unity at all.
It makes me feel like shit that I'm being told that I'm an idiot.
Like fly it out.
Like what sucks about it the most is I feel sympathy and I guess empathy for all the employees
of Ubisoft reading this and going, what the fuck?
That's not true.
Because-
I pushed this as hard as I could if they let me.
Because Woolly and Matt and I know that sometimes you see a PR figurehead at your company speak
and you're just like, oh, shut the fuck up.
But I didn't know what you're talking about.
Shut the fuck up.
Like, I was at the-
So I feel bad for all the-
You've got internal pressure and external pressure now for these people to shut up.
Exactly, exactly.
Like I was at the launch party for Batman Arkham Origins and the seat, like a big wig is just
like, we nailed it guys and I'm like, go fix the game in my head.
You're partying.
All the save data is corrupted and there's crashes everywhere.
Why the fuck are we getting drunk right now?
We shipped it.
We shipped it.
We totally nailed the shipping.
We shipped the ship.
The accomplishment to ship it, but fucking-
Yeah, it's quite a accomplishment.
You know, don't ship a boat that has holes in it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That being said, I'm still buying it.
Like Matt's just running around and collecting.
Yeah, we have to buy it in a day or two.
Yeah, but it's like, they built the boat, they put it in the water, they smashed the
wine over it and it sank.
Yeah, exactly.
And they're all partying instead of fixing it.
So like I said before, I was like, this is a lot like Tomb Raider.
If you do this, then there's the, we can't have female characters in the game.
Oh god, just like-
There's all that stuff.
You can almost say that Ubisoft is getting into parody with-
And it's all Tomb Raiders.
And the games they're putting out are really good.
Like when's the last time Ubisoft released like Watch Dogs?
It was like an alright game.
But that was the last game I could think of that was just like, oh fuck this.
Yeah, they at Far Cry 3 kicked ass.
Yeah, you can Far Cry 3, Blood Dragon, Far Cry 4 looks good.
Valiant Hearts is good.
Assassin's Creed 4 was really good.
Child of Light was good.
But the fact that they have these people out there just saying the stupidest shit imaginable
makes you not like them.
Of course, yeah.
It sucks.
Yeah.
Sucks.
Yeah.
You know what doesn't suck?
And that everyone-
We'll only get this one.
We'll only get this one if you take this.
Alright.
Speaking of saying stupid, unintelligible shit, Quan Chi is back.
Oh wow, you went to a totally different article.
Nice.
Cool.
So yeah, as we said Quan Chi is back because he is one of the few characters in the MK9
story mode that was like, yo, I'm mom alive.
I'm good now.
And I fucking think he looks fucking awesome.
Yeah.
Like his design is a combination of his dumb Mortal Kombat 4 design.
Yeah.
Because he's got those big shoulder pads with spikes.
But also his cool witch doctor thing.
Yeah.
And that has without a doubt the most, oh my god, fatality.
Yeah.
Quan Chi, I wrote it down when I emailed you guys.
Quan Chi continues string of amazing fatalities.
Yeah.
So do you guys remember saving Private Ryan?
I do.
Yeah.
Remember that scene with the knife on the stairway?
What if it was way worse?
What if it was way worse?
That's the feeling you get, man.
Because the guy's making you walk into a knife.
With voodoo powers.
With voodoo powers.
It's not good.
And yeah, like all of us like, I don't know about that bat familiar.
Oh, it looks like shit.
Yeah.
I was hoping for different monsters.
I was hoping for like three or four different types besides the bat.
Yeah.
No, it's just the bat.
Yeah.
It's a little goofy, but he still looks awesome.
It's like Batman's.
It's like Batman summons.
Yeah.
I saw someone made a comment like on the official Mortal Kombat, like whatever YouTube channel
that put out that trailer.
Someone goes, this guy looks like a huge ripoff of Kratos.
What?
And I see like whoever, some guy is corrected and he's like, you mean the character that
came out well after Quan Chi did in MK4.
98.
Quan Chi debuted on the PlayStation 1.
On the N64.
Yeah.
Like what?
No.
Ass.
Honestly, the three styles for him, that's, it looks great.
Yeah, they look fantastic.
It looks really cool.
Yeah.
The whole three styles thing is just awesome.
Yeah.
Summoner, sorcerer, conjurer.
Before anyone calls me a hypocrite for liking them in Smash, there's a difference between
being able to pick your special moves individually.
There's a very big difference.
Yeah, that is.
Because at a developer, they test like all these three special moves that change, whatever
they test to make sure everything works.
How's this version?
How's this guy?
How's this guy?
And it's really awesome.
And I think about it like Mortal Kombat, like from all the huge gaping failures in the
MK2 PS2 games, I mean rather, like Armageddon and Deadly Alliance.
Man, when I said that at the Mortal Kombat meeting that we went into.
One of those producers looked really hurt.
I'm really afraid he designed some of those characters and I'm just bashing the shit out
of them.
And he looked like he felt really bad.
Like there was room.
But he did agree at the end.
Yeah, he was.
I was like, man, we may fuck.
You guys really fucked up with that one.
And he's just like, yeah.
And I'm like, but this guy's really cool.
He's like, thanks.
That seems like a totally random question.
Just a question here, just opinion question.
Do you think often for less characters with more varieties, we'll get them away from having
shitty character designs for the characters?
Yes.
Yes.
I didn't thought of that.
100%.
Absolutely 100%.
Those PS2 games had like 40 characters at the minimum.
Exactly.
But what I mean is, do you think that was a conscious choice?
Like instead of having shitty characters, let's make the tightest roster?
Yes.
I think that's exactly what that was.
It's double genius.
It's totally double.
Because all the people that are just wanting gameplay variety, tournament players and so
on, they see three styles per character and they're like, good, triple the cast.
The style system is perfect because you get to make 10 new characters that are awesome,
but actually make 30 new characters.
And it doesn't feel like dark pit.
It doesn't feel like dark pit is so bad.
If you pick your characters, we have to design a character that's interesting enough that
it forces being creative with a character design.
Like, oh, wasp woman.
Yeah, she can fly and do this and she can shoot insects or whatever.
Oh, there's a guy with a little girl on her back and they have knives and it forces creativity.
Mavado.
Mavado is not.
Mavado is still right here.
There's only, there's one guy.
I chose.
Try to think of two styles.
Try to think of two other styles for Reiko right now.
Like, go.
Reiko is in Mortal Kombat Armageddon.
Remember, they brought everyone back.
I know, but imagine you had to come up with like 200% more moves for Reiko.
The president of WB loves this character.
The whole team and the game's fate is on your shoulders.
So remember, Mortal Kombat Armageddon was 65 characters.
That's right.
They had two styles each.
And it also had kart racing and shit, right?
Yeah, it also had kart racing.
But it had two styles each.
It had a weapon style and one fighting style.
And then the originals, they had to spread out all the styles for all that influx of characters
because the first two had 20 and 27 or whatever.
So those styles, like Scorpion and Ninjutsu, Shoryu and like Ninjutsu swords.
So they had to take Scorpion style away and give it to like Sub-Zero.
Oh, that was outrageous. It was crazy.
It was really good.
Just to pat it out over the whole roster.
Yeah, exactly.
Oh, that's terrible.
It's way too many characters.
So that was it. That was the week.
I was waiting for William to go for the sideway, but fuck it, I'll go for it.
Yeah.
You know what? Take it.
You know what doesn't have too many characters?
What?
Vib ribbon.
It has one.
It has that fucking bunny.
And you'll love it.
And because people like us just screamed at Sony,
yo, why'd you taunt us with Vib ribbon at the fucking conference?
It's like 80% Shawn Layton, the new guy who worked on Vib ribbon.
And you know what, Pat?
And we saw Vib ribbon and everyone's take away from that was,
wait, you're not here to announce Vib ribbon?
Of course, of course.
Well, Vib ribbon.
Because he worked on it, yeah.
Similar to Mortal Kombat, though, that bunny has three styles.
Yeah.
He's got Angel Mode and he's got Frog Mode.
Yeah.
Well, Vib ribbon's just out.
Tomorrow.
Now.
What?
Go get it.
Podcast goes up tomorrow.
It's out later today.
Grace Gentine.
Grace Gentine.
Yeah.
And the piece.
I love that post so much because you just read all the angriest tweets collected together
on Sony's official blog.
Yeah, it's great.
Where?
People literally going, like, they're actually posting screens of people going,
like, what fucking cock teases?
Yeah.
I was like, this is an official blog.
Yeah, I guess you guys really wanted Vib ribbon.
So.
And the PlayStation 3 version, you still have the stupid audio disc vert thing you can do.
Yeah, because you can put this.
Well, you can put in your audio CD.
That thing.
And play it.
The one that you own still.
I own tons of CDs.
Okay, well.
Matt owns tons of CDs.
I own a lot of Limpisk and CDs.
Okay.
Well, you can put those in.
Looks like you own CDs.
Looks like we're going to be seeing a forced entry and aggression play through the big
ribbon soon.
That's right.
That's right.
See, the PS3 version has that because it has a disc drive.
But when you play it on the Vita, you, of course, don't get that.
Yeah, that's like, you know, whatever.
But, oh man, this is the weirdest.
This is the most, like, we saw something and people went, fuck you, give me that.
And we got it.
Oh.
That I could think of.
Yeah.
Like, ever.
In this industry.
No, he talked about it.
He said, I was just proud of Vibriven, so I wanted to put that up there because that's
me.
Yeah.
And when he did the Ice Bucket Challenge thing, he was wearing a Vibriven shirt.
Yeah.
Vibriven is awesome.
Vibriven is so proud of it.
It's that fucking vector bunny.
Oh, it's, I don't even know why I like Vibriven so much.
Vibriven has been featured because you're just showing a thing and you're saying you can't
have it.
I want it.
No, that's literally.
Vibriven has been featured.
Everyone else.
It's like no one really wants it, but they just remember it.
Yeah.
Vibriven has been featured multiple times in museums upon doing like video game exhibits
and stuff.
Ah.
Like, it's got a lot of artistic merits.
It's got this weird bullshit.
Besides just being a good, really cool game.
That cute bunny.
It's actually really neat.
That cute bunny.
I'll have a really quick segue since we're talking about music and museum stuff.
Oh yeah.
Did you see who got announced as guests for a magfest?
Remind me.
All the guys are responsible for all the catamari music.
I was hoping you were going to say to me something.
Yes.
Exactly.
Yes, I did hear about that.
So, at the very least, you and me are going there just to like, on our own money, whatever,
we don't care.
We're going to go.
Right?
Tickets almost already bought when you announced that kind of shit.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Exactly.
Can't wait for that.
Hey, they'll even sing the theme for you if you pay them.
Just sing the theme.
You should just throw money at them.
I should just throw money at them.
Just throw money at them.
What's the worst that could happen?
They take your money.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's it.
Hey, Willie, you want to grab the next segue?
I got nothing.
Yeah, man.
Yeah.
Well, you know who can take my money?
From Soft.
It's true.
Again, that's exactly what I was going to go for.
They can take all my fucking money.
And I didn't feel confident in it.
Oh.
And he went for it anyway.
Shit.
Damn.
Oh, fucking give it.
Breaking news hot off the presses.
What's that?
Kingdom Hearts 3 is now using Unreal Engine 4.
Get out.
Are you serious?
I am, but I accidentally clicked on a wrong thread.
Oh, wow.
That's fucking weird.
All right.
So in the meantime.
But that's weird.
In the meantime.
But yeah, so.
We got some new bosses.
The alpha footage.
The alpha for what born is out, kind of.
Some people have it.
And that's all well and good.
The footage looks really good.
Holy shit.
Now hold on.
I linked this guy's YouTube footage in the description for the podcast.
I want to point out, fuck this guy's watermark.
This guy's watermark is outrageous.
Yeah, but if you had bloodborne footage and no one else had, you put a bigger one.
And it's what journalists do when they get an exclusive scoop on something.
They put the biggest watermark.
And this guy is really diving into this alpha because there's a full minute of him glitching
through the walls.
Aren't you too?
Yeah.
To just go right into areas he's clearly not supposed to be in.
But yeah.
Werewolves, man.
This game's going to have tons of werewolves in it.
And oombasa.
And oombasa.
So that's fucking demon souls 2.
That's the reason why I put this in the rotation.
There's a character who's a priest who utters a prayer and finishes that prayer with the
phrase oombasa.
And anyone who plays demon souls knows that that is the demon souls version of amen after
a prayer.
Which makes me think that all those rumors about FromSoft making demon souls 2.
Yeah demon souls 2.
It's because this is actually demon souls 2.
Like this is an actual direct sequel to the Sony owned IP demon souls.
Well, I don't like direct sequel but it's somewhere in the same universe.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Yeah I was going to say is it possible it's just the same universe?
Yeah, same universe on a different continent.
But like the fact that Dark Souls 2 it was very obvious early on that this was a direct
sequel.
Because it's called Dark Souls 2.
Yeah but also like every single thing and you could be like oh is that the place for
the thing.
And in Dark Souls 2 I felt like they did it way too much.
Were they called back?
Yeah.
If this is the level of call back I can expect of just like a little line of dialogue here.
A single description here.
No.
Like.
No the beginning of the game is going to be hi I'm a Strava of Boletaria.
No shut up.
Time to enjoy the demon souls 2 tutorial.
I mean blood boring you can easily say that this is 100 years in the future on a different
continent.
Yeah totally.
Like and god damn it transforming werewolf boss looks so fucking good like that's the
primary reason I like this footage because that transforming werewolf boss looks amazing.
So here's the other thing now.
This is I want to accuse them a Jacuz from Soft.
Calling this alpha footage.
When we know we know what a real alpha looks like.
This game is out in favor.
I want to I want to counter accuse you and say that's Sony marketing.
Well that's almost everyone's marketing.
Also I think that's a Sony thing.
Also I should mention that the alphas that they do for the souls games are always network
test alphas.
Like they're always there to test network stuff.
So I imagine the network stuff could be an alpha.
You do not use the word alpha if you are I don't work on it.
This is not an alpha.
Well he's absolutely right.
Before code complete before content complete like you're like the game is being built is
called.
Well you've seen well you've seen when like some games just like have this gorgeous footage
that's like like looks super final and then they have the fucking audacity and they have
the fucking like sperm in their balls to write pre alpha.
You fucking put pre alpha there's no title screen yet.
The only one I believe the only one is the worst offender of this in recent years.
Well the only one of those I will believe is the the one by criteria on games the extreme
like sports extreme vehicle one that they're making that showed off.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That game looks awesome but that is fucking pre alpha you want to see what pre alpha looks
like.
Yeah.
That's that.
That's pre alpha.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's just like yeah there's now yeah it's glitchy and yeah the guy's clipping through
the world all over the place but you're totally right.
But that's normal that's actually par for the course for a souls game.
Yeah.
That be oh that being said man I love how little we know about Bloodborne.
Yeah.
That's how it should be.
Like we've seen one and a half areas and a couple like neither was like no on and like
I really hope that they find ways to use that blood mechanic in the plot in the story a bit
more because it's a really smart thing.
It's just it's it's been copy pasted out like the word.
Yeah.
Like you know the the theming of souls in the souls games now it's blood you know it's
blood and that's what it is like a play you get me a goddamn screenshot of what you look
like as a red phantom and yeah you look like a red phantom but instead of being ghostly
and shadowy you are literally just head to toe caked in blood bright red blood sick
which has the same effect but as a cooler visual.
Now moving along speaking of blood systems Eliza joins the cast of skull girls.
Oh yeah.
He's had the practice.
He's yeah.
He knows.
He knows too.
I've been doing this for a year now motherfucker.
It's true.
Yeah Eliza's in.
She's a Jojo character.
Cool.
She's Dio.
She's got a Dio and Ragyo color.
No really.
Yeah.
I voted for Eliza and the character things I just don't want that stupid minnow girl
to win.
She's the best.
No.
Well clearly Eliza is the best.
And she's free.
I mean I love this trend of hey this fighting a character is free because you guys funded
her already.
Because we funded her already.
Yeah.
Well free.
Well yeah.
So what you need to do what you need to do is you better buy sugar into training
mode.
I did.
No they didn't do one.
And pause on every frame there's so much love in everything she does.
Man.
It's nuts.
Like I thought big band and fucking Swigly were like over detailed.
No no Eliza's way over the top.
I think it'd be really cool if Lab Zero like you know supports Skullgirls for a while but
also like I don't know makes like a completely different genre in the background like prototyping
like I don't know like a.
It's like a character action game.
Yeah.
Yeah I'd watch that.
National game or a platform.
Or a bare old wrestling game.
Or beat them up or a bare old wrestling game.
But just keep in mind that they're not profiting right now off of these free characters.
Sure.
No.
Well the money's going to roll in when they release the PS4 and Vita version.
Very likely.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because that like the thirst.
The thirst is objectively real.
Yes.
So.
Yes.
Yes.
Man.
Just good for Lab Zero.
They're doing good.
Now they got caught in a real shit situation and they're making the best of it.
They got out of it with hard work and gumption.
Yeah.
I like that.
Yeah.
So who had the gumption over at Capcom Studios to make fucking Omega mode?
That's what I want to know.
Well how did we not talk about this last week?
Didn't we talk about this?
No.
We talked about this.
Like when it.
Amongst ourselves.
We talked about this personally.
Yeah.
Not on a podcast.
And now we're super late but fuck it.
Super late.
But we were super late.
I put it in there because I saw somebody be like why didn't you guys talk about Omega
mode?
I was like you're right.
Why the fuck didn't we talk about Omega mode?
I was sure it did.
Yeah.
Ken can kick fireballs.
God damn it.
For your kids.
Me and Woolly talked about it in guacamole.
Yeah.
That was it.
That's why I thought like that.
For you kids at home that are too young and Liam.
I know what Rainbow Edition is.
Fuck you.
Yeah.
Well Rainbow Edition is one of two.
It's just like this hacked version that people made all the.
And it was the first version of Street Fighter II I ever played.
Wow.
And it's arguably the best one.
And it's arguably the funnest one in the sense that like.
And stuff from Rainbow got into the regular game like error game kicks.
Yeah.
But it's also the most balanced.
Because it turns.
Because it was interesting.
Historically it was the first game that was just super hyper and over the top in the arcades.
Everyone got used to that and really had fun with it.
So over at Capcom they started having this weird internal debate like do we embrace this
turbo thing or do we just continue along our way.
And it divided the company in that some people felt no traditional slow is good.
And others are like let's go turbo.
Turbo is what we came to see with the latest Street Fighter II.
That was the correct answer.
And the guys who thought no let's keep it traditional then broke off and made Arika Street Fighter
II X games.
Yeah.
And those could not be any slower.
Why are they.
Holy Christ.
Oh God I wish they actually made that.
Tien.
Petit cadeau pour toi.
Shut up doctrine.
Dark.
Get out of here.
Oh my God.
So a lot of people want us to play Street Fighter II X on Fisticuffs at some point.
They can go and fucking die.
I don't fucking play it.
So so.
Plus Alpha whatever the last version of that game was alright.
But we're all just going to fix Scolomania all Street Fighter II X III.
No.
I don't want to play that again.
So Honda throws the fucking rice at you man.
Yeah.
He throws the salt rather.
It's so good.
Blanka can uncancel from his coward crouch.
He has teleports with electric zaps.
Yeah.
Is there a list of things for everybody or is it just like a bunch of stuff?
No.
They've been squeezing them out little by little.
Just like with regular code or no I didn't say it.
Not yet.
Just like with regular lead ups to the Street Fighter IV iterations it's like character
background.
I can't even imagine what Hakans will be.
I can't.
He's oiled all the time.
Well no that's easy.
That's clearly going to be it.
But it'll be like he's oiled all the time but then he oils up once and he's double oiled
the whole round.
Yeah.
Or like his focus, his focus lasts as long as you hold it down.
Oh god.
Move the whole way.
Yeah.
That'd be amazing.
Just dumb shit like that.
Like his jumping throw now goes diagonally up in the air like a fucking arc.
Like a shore you can.
I want for his coward crouch to slide further when you dash using it and hurt the hurt people.
Yeah great.
Yeah.
To make them get a hard knock down.
Like fuck it.
Cody holds a knife in both hands and tornadoes are constantly spinning around him.
Yeah no tornado and like Cody.
And he says my Jessica.
Cody doesn't lose the...
Every move's sound effect is switched to bingo.
Cody doesn't lose the knife when he gets hit.
Like when he throws...
We might even see like...
He's just like Maya.
We might even see like the return of the geef copter man.
Oh it's true.
Oh I hope so.
It's true.
It's true.
No honestly this is the best stupid thing to throw time and zero money at.
Yeah exactly.
When you go to the event hubs link also now there's an update that says like reps have
spoken to us this will not be balanced.
This is pretty goofing around only.
And for everyone who's sitting there like oh fuck Capcom they did a fucking stupid thing
again.
No this is a cool thing.
Because as we vote 2015 there's going to be the main stage where they're playing the
game legit and it's going to be fucking empty and then the other stage they're going to
have a side turn and that's exactly what it's going to be.
Yeah Liam we got to go try to find that negative fucker that we know being like oh how you
going to take money from my pocket now Capcom.
Let's see what his Facebook says.
You know.
Oh god.
Honestly it's just free shit man.
It's free shit.
You know how Capcom's going to take money from your pocket now by not publishing
ban at a time.
Yeah.
So Camilla like went into more detail like last week on Twitter not that one.
It's just repeating the same story.
Yeah I know but it's just repeating the same story but he's now in a post release world
he had to go all right once and for all.
I can tell you this is what's up everyone it's shut up, talk to your mothers but before
you do here.
Sega dropped Feo 2 off on us and said nah and then we went to like tons of other places
and they were also like nah.
And to be blunt as unfortunate as it is those were very good business decisions.
Yeah because that game is not going to sell well.
But I mean even on other consoles I would question it.
And like the phrasing is the Nintendo saved Bayonetta.
And they did.
Yeah.
And they did.
I'm just going to go fuck and release it.
We don't care.
Yeah exactly.
It was Sega's like I really wish there was a way to get everyone not just like dump
Twitter or whatever like messages but everyone to know about this because when we go to the
you'd have to use your own brain to do this.
In a world where people are opting to not vaccinate their children you're never going
to get this point across.
Woof indeed.
Maybe I am turning into a dog.
Woof.
Like there will always be people who just don't get it.
Oh wow that is the most real false equivalence I have ever heard in my life.
Is it?
Yes.
Misinformation.
As we were talking about the other day like when we when you click on a fucking video
for like you know Rooster Teeth looks at Bayonetta 2 things.
This was bad.
These guys should have it.
They should know.
You know anyone who's putting out stuff should know these because fuck man poor Kimia.
You know at this point.
You might not know this Pat and Matt but me and Willy watched a Rooster Teeth like five
things you didn't know about Bayonetta.
I know about this.
Yeah we're all in there.
Okay we knew all of it and they said oh it'll come to Xbox eventually and it's like.
Ooh what do you know.
Remember when Kimia said this thing he's like if you want this to come out on other consoles
ask Nintendo.
Ask for Mario and Link 2 while you're at it.
Don't worry they're already in Bayonetta 1.
So we didn't talk about this but anyone actually watched that Star Fox Easter Egg in Bayonetta
2.
I did.
I did.
So we all did.
I should have never.
I wish I hadn't.
For multiple days I kept the video open and I kept saying I'm not gonna.
Did you reopen it?
Did you watch the Star Fox thing in Bayonetta?
See I watched it and it was utterly unsho-
I didn't know.
You know what it is.
Try not to but you may not be able to stop.
The costume?
Oh no it's you have to wear the Star Fox costume at a specific point in the game and there's
no indication that you have to do that.
You just gotta wear it.
But if you do.
But if you do.
People will be completely different.
I'm utterly unshocked by this.
Me too.
Like I watched it and I saw the level and I was like of course that level is there and
I saw what had changed and it said of course that's the same.
I am also utterly unshocked but holy shit is it like beautiful.
So clearly this is either another Schmup homage turned into an R-Wing or the flying games.
Who was it?
Come on.
Did you play Bayonetta?
Yeah.
Or the best boss fight in the game.
Or the flying stages where you're just flying as Bayonetta.
Yeah.
You know, wait two weeks.
Choose to either watch it or not Wally and everyone listening.
Like boy is that cool.
Yeah.
Alright.
Whatever.
Next up you've got.
The last thing on the menu.
Well yeah cause fuck talking about any Naruto anymore.
That's done.
Yeah no like I put that on the docket to force Wally to talk about Naruto and he said it
like the first thing when we start the podcast.
It's on his mind like 24-7.
Naruto's dead.
It's going to be over in five issues or whatever.
Yeah.
Five issues.
But in the opposite effect of Ubi Please we've got the fucking Witcher 3 guys saying
there will be no downgrade.
Please stop saying that there will be a downgrade.
Please.
There won't be.
I should probably give some more context to this.
A little bit more than none.
Because like they're just saying that there won't be is nice.
But it's in reference to a bunch of screenshots they put out and in particular there was
a screenshot of a wolf.
And the wolf looked like a regular ass wolf.
But people went crazy because if you watched the Witcher 3 like GDC talk like last year
they made this huge spectacle of saying look at this new hair tech we're going to use on
all the wolves.
It's going to be awesome.
And there was this weird meme about L'Oreal Wolf.
The wolf's hair is super shiny and perfect.
That's where wolf wolves would usually have.
But in these recent screen grabs like it looks like no like a regular old thing.
And there is a gaff insider supposedly confirmed by the mod staff.
Supposedly.
Don't listen to these guys.
They're going to downgrade the shit out of this.
It's just like watchdogs.
And again this guy was verified by moderators to be a guy who would know.
Beware of pre-order games.
How can that be anybody but someone that works there.
Especially the console versions.
They were verified then.
Who knows.
Could be a guy in third party QA.
Like you know.
It's terrible.
But it's weird that CDPriac went out and actually said there won't be a downgrade.
Like this has become such a common thing.
That watchdogs and Dark Souls and fucking.
There's probably one more.
Destiny.
And like all these games have been hugely downgraded from release.
And they've been really pushing Witcher.
Like as absurdly gigantic and pretty looking.
Of course.
Because it is a big tentpole thing isn't it.
I bet that's a console screenshot.
That's my guess.
Is that the console version will be downgraded all the shit.
And it's like nobody wants to downgrade their game.
But as development moves on you just have to.
And that's what happened to watchdogs.
As long as you put out new footage that looks like the game looks.
That's why I think the Dark Souls one is the most egregious out of all.
The Dark Souls one is the most egregious.
Because they put up fake steam pictures up until like four days before that game came out.
Bullshots.
Like it's just details in watchdogs really.
Like when you get down to it.
But like Dark Souls 2 is the lighting through the whole game.
Yeah Dark Souls 2 you have a bunch of screenshots from a build that doesn't exist on that game.
I always think it's worse than watchdogs.
Because I think I said this before but watchdogs was the benchmark of all next gen games.
Of course.
It was the one we knew about.
It's like the worst one to have that happen.
Yeah absolutely.
Especially since you got delayed so long.
Watchdogs is a series of messy events.
Because had that game been there day one on PS4 and Xbox One like it should have been.
We wouldn't have cared about the downgrade.
We would not have cared at all.
We would have been blown away by the game just on the virtue of new console height.
Totally.
And it would have sold just as good if not better.
And the only thing.
It would have got the red steel pass.
Yeah absolutely.
More better than red steel though.
Because red steel still got a little bit of it.
This Witcher 3 thing looks like shady.
It looks like the watchdog thing.
It's starting to look like uh oh.
Then maybe they over promised.
But it's different because it's CD Projekt and they blow graphics shit out of the fucking water every time.
I was gonna say that said hopefully their game will be good.
Yeah.
You know that would be the difference.
Witcher 1 and 2 kick ass.
And you know what?
Those games are amazing.
If the Witcher 3 isn't good don't worry.
Even if you're a fan of the Witcher you won't be disappointed with the Witcher MOBA.
You cannot be disappointed.
You cannot possibly.
That's one of those things where it's like.
That's why I say that Witcher is such a tentpole.
It's like now maybe we can like make other things around the Witcher.
I'm like I don't think you can.
He's not that much of a marketable character.
He's a weird Polish guy.
He fucks tons of ladies all the time.
I didn't think that there was any character out of me but you know.
He can't get dick sick.
They said.
There's two things I wanted to mention because I just saw them today.
There's two Kickstarter games that right before we started the podcast.
All those guys that left a rational during Bioshock.
Meaning most of them.
Most of them.
They just started Kickstarter for a new game called The Black Glove.
And it's kind of what I wanted out of Bioshock Infinite.
Just from going for the Kickstarter video.
It's a thing where you walk around and characters talk to you.
Great.
Awesome.
I'm interested.
And you're in the red room from like Deadly Premonition or Twin Peaks.
I feel really pissed off that you said Deadly Premonition first.
So you're doing that and had like really cool dialogue.
And I was like yeah sure.
And the other one I saw today was like is you know.
We've seen a million of these but in Metroidvania because we're not being given.
Metroidvania is the only human.
This game looks alright.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's like a mix of like what our influence is.
Metroid.
Devil May Cry.
Mega Man X.
So three of the pre-order skins that you get.
Your guys like got a mech suit on.
A mech but like the Giver or something like that.
And the three pre-order skins you get is one that makes them look like Samus.
One that makes them look like X.
And one that makes them look like Dante.
And Robo Dante.
So yes.
Robo Dante.
So the art style is a little yeah.
I wish it was a little more accurate.
That's how its pixels are because it looks like one of those flashy games.
Yeah.
I agree.
But when I saw the game play because how it works is like Metroidvania and the giant
map when you get to a boss you defeat the boss and you're stuck in a room with the boss
and you get his weapon much like Mega Man.
But the combat is like DMC.
You're doing Helm splitters.
You're doing trillion stabs and I was like that looks pretty fun.
Yeah.
So yeah.
Liam I'm sure you've caught the wind of the fact that Guacamelee PC we can dress up everybody.
Chie Orbeo.
Yeah.
I'm really weirded out that you guys didn't know that.
I mean we knew but we knew we were also going to play a console version.
Yeah.
So yeah.
So that was bad.
You can dress them up as anything.
It's a mod.
Like you can make it anything.
Yes.
To be a big penis.
If you want it.
If you guys.
If you want it.
If you guys like dressing up as things and you want to tell us about it.
You should send the letter to superbestfriendcast at gmail.com.
What was that?
Where do you send your penis pictures?
To super best friend to pat at two best friends play.com.
No.
That's not real.
To super best friend cast at gmail.com.
No he fucked it up.
It's not super best friends cast.
It's super best friend cast.
I said singular.
I specifically said singular.
Well I guess I fucked it up there.
Yeah.
Really you're looking at emails.
How many penises are in those emails?
All of them.
Nine.
Okay.
Okay we need more.
Yeah.
Nine's a good number.
I'm good with nine.
Hit me.
If you're listening to this in the office or in public transit just whip out your phone
and use it.
Yeah.
Whip out.
Bam.
We need photos.
Bam.
You're famous now.
We're expecting photos.
First penis.
God.
Simple question.
Colton wants to know.
Reach out to the phone.
What's your current ringtone?
Oh let me play it.
Mine is the slam for everyone's jams.
That's a good one.
I had that for the longest time.
Yeah.
It's not great.
Wait you had that?
Yeah.
For the longest time but then it changed.
This is my ringtone.
I hope it'll play.
I was there when he changed.
It's super great.
That's actually it.
That's actually not a joke.
That is so beautiful.
Never change.
I'm so glad this question.
Mine asked this week.
Mine is still the intro to knighthood.
It's still.
Wow.
It's really good though.
It's my favorite thing.
It's great.
It's just my favorite thing.
Oh I should mention because I'm not going to play it.
And if people don't know it's the space jam remix of the persona 3 final boss thing.
Yeah.
Space jam.
Space jam.
Space jam.
Yeah.
It's the best.
I know yours is like.
Matt yours is Marvel 3 in space jams.
No it's not.
Oh.
Yeah it's just rules of nature.
And it's really good because it starts at rules of nature.
No because I cut it to myself.
Yeah of course you should.
Well I remember the fucking the first time it played I was like fuck you I was going to
do that.
Yeah.
No he beat us to it.
He beat everyone to it because he did it during the week of review or something.
And I told another our other friend Pat and he was like oh fuck you.
Yeah he was going to do it too.
No he can't do it.
Next penis please.
There you go.
There you go Colton.
We got one from our genus and our genus says or rather aggro for short I guess.
Agro.
I love I love Street Fighter but the lore escapes me.
Is there an official explanation as to what Akuma does during a raging demon.
Yes there is.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
I'm glad you asked.
Can I ask a question that I don't know the answer to.
Is there also an explanation for Sakuras.
No violence Sakuras.
Sakuras a raging demon that she does.
Guy has a raging demon too.
Oh fuck.
The answer the answer is fucking Erika once again Street Fighter EX.
Okay.
They gave Dalsam a raging demon.
Oh fuck really.
Anyway.
Jesus.
But in the canon.
So first of all really great source for all your Street Fighter lore.
Here we go I know.
It's Kim Matt's Street Fighter plot guide.
Yeah.
This is a giant game facts document.
Matt and I used to read it during work when we were bored.
Yeah.
And Udon uses it as a reference point for their comics.
It may as well be official.
Because they took it.
He compiled a lot of that from different mooks and stuff that are released in Japan.
Only the canon mooks that were licensed by Capcom or Capcom had some sort of saying.
Yeah.
The all about Capcom book being a big source.
Yeah exactly.
So during a raging demon it's very specific.
What happens is Akuma grabs you and basically he spiritually drags your soul to hell.
Right.
For just a little bit.
And once you're there he doesn't touch you because the sins that you've committed attract
the demons and those are what attack you and do the damage.
That's so cool.
Yeah.
I never knew.
Yes.
Therefore in the canon fight when Akuma fights Gen and Gen is dying.
Gen is super powerful but he's actually at peace with himself.
He's no longer the man he used to be which was an evil thug gangster type.
And he has no regrets.
He's ready to die.
Right.
He's fighting Akuma to look for a warrior's death.
And Akuma grabs him, drags his soul down to hell.
Gen empties his mind and thinks of nothing and the raging demon does nothing to him.
It fails.
What does Akuma do?
Please tell me the rest of the story.
Akuma wets his pants and runs away.
Akuma goes what?
Akuma goes whoo.
The raging demon fails and then they go back to fighting but Akuma realizes at that point
that Gen is dying and he says oh this is bullshit.
You lied to me.
You're not going to fight a dude that was dying.
And Gen's like no come on give me a warrior's death and Akuma's like nah fuck that.
You're not at 100%.
Come back babe.
Come back babe.
Akuma denies him the warrior's death because he's not at 100%.
Akuma is such a nice guy.
Akuma is the coolest god damn thing in Street Fighter.
It's so awesome.
It's literally up there.
We got one for Pat.
Oh.
Oh.
Oh.
It's not even a question.
It's actually a picture.
You can't see it.
Is it a picture of what we think it is?
It's a picture of an Australian news anchor talking with the ticker tape at the bottom
saying man robs Brisbane service station with a boomerang.
That's awesome.
So that's awesome.
On the way over here I was watching a video of a guy in the suburbs of Australia videotaping
a news anchor who's fighting in his driveway.
Nice.
So I like how Australia committed a crime and they committed a crime with an Australian
specific weapon.
Here I've got the article from the Daily Mail.
No it's because you show me later Lee.
I know.
I know.
We've got podcasts too here.
Podcasts.
That'd be professional.
Apparently it was an attempt.
Not a success.
Simple question from Arnuth.
What's your favorite general Asian food?
Oh wait.
It's a question specifically to the Fatal Fury Zybatsu of Matt Bogard, Pat Bogard,
Woolly Higashi and Mai Liam Newey.
Mai Liam Newey I'd date her.
I have something of a fetish for Japanese curry.
It's starting to come out.
Yeah.
I love that shit so much.
Can't fucking get it in Montreal.
I used to be a stupid like fucking, I like crispy noodles but I used to be just a general
towel like fucking Hakkwai motherfucker.
I mean general towel is good.
I get your point.
Well general towel is really good.
It's really good.
And it's super not authentic but it's great.
Ah general towel.
Your bloodthirsty foe.
But now that I've done it, honestly Yakki Niku beef is unquestionably the best.
I'm very partial to, there's the Korean place next to my house and the bulgogi there is
unbelievable.
It's amazing.
Oh I've been there.
Yeah it's really solid.
It's fucking awesome.
I like Okonomiyaki as well and if you're still in Japan for a few days you should be able
to go.
Yeah.
I did have some.
I did have some.
Japanese pizza.
It's weird but it's good.
I've mentioned it once or twice but I even make it sometimes if I'm feeling up to it but
we had it that Korean place too.
I remember the thing with the black bean paste and the giant noodles.
That's just super good.
Yeah.
I like peanut butter stuff whenever.
You know what?
I never really liked peanut butter sauce and dumplings that much but we had it from a
place not too long ago and it was like super good.
Yeah when it's good it's really good.
Yeah exactly.
So Michael wants to call our attention to the fact that there might be a reference to
God Hand in Demon's Souls.
I could believe it.
Go on.
Wait me.
Go on.
So when you drag, kick Astray's ass into the Milky Way.
If you had any chance to play Demon's Souls you might have likely come across a weapon
called the Hand of God.
That's right.
The description of the weapon reads, there was once a strong man who slaughtered dragons
with his bare hands.
His godlike fists earned him the title of the legendary Big M.
This is the only reference to Big M that's in the game and given the cross history between
FromSoft and Capcom, it's possible that this might be a little joke referencing God Hand's
director, Shinji Mikami.
That could totally be a thing.
That being said, the term God Hand is like relative.
It specifically refers to Maso Yama, the guy who Ryu is based off of, who's a badass
bullfighting martial artist back in the 60s.
But that could be a thing, I guess.
And in Japan, just putting God as we know, will he drink an energy drink that was called
what?
What was it called?
A blackout God.
Blackout God.
Yeah.
So it's a very cold thing, but yeah, I could believe that.
Yeah, yeah.
No, but it could be Big M as in Maso Yama as well.
That's a good point.
One last, we'll take a quick one from Chris who says, hey best friends, I convinced my
mom to play through Persona 4 on the Vita.
Wow.
After some really rough work, she finally got to the last few weeks just before the
end of the game and she hasn't touched it since.
She says that she doesn't want it to end.
Yeah, that's a thing.
That's a thing.
So my mom wants to know, do you guys get sad when great games seem like they're going
to end?
Yes.
And how do you deal with it?
I don't.
I don't either.
Door closure.
When I finish power through it, sat there and just let myself die a little.
Yeah, that's right.
You got to power through it, mom.
It's sad, but in the end, you'll be even happier when it's done.
It'll be a new thing.
She's got to know.
And then she can watch children play Ultimax.
When your old children get old and leave you, you can just go get a new boyfriend.
Yeah, exactly.
That's true.
And she can't play dancing all night without finishing that anyway.
That's true.
That's true.
Hey, her friends can't play Ultimax without being Persona 4.
I was going to say, her friends are coming back in a variety of ways.
They're going to be there.
P.S., you want to guess who his mom's wife who is?
That's weird.
Oh, that's a good question.
That's a lot, but okay.
I'm going to guess Chie.
Kanji?
It's always Kanji.
Always.
It's Nanako.
Oh, of course.
Oh, yeah.
She's a mom.
She's like, oh, adorable.
That makes sense.
That makes sense.
Exactly.
But Nanako's great.
That makes total sense.
Yeah.
But no, definitely.
Please be a side character in P5, Nanako.
Right?
Please.
No, don't.
I don't want it.
I don't want that.
Yeah, you say that.
I never want to see Nanako again.
Say that you liar.
I don't want her back.
You're a liar.
I only want her in Ultimax and Dancing All Night.
Exactly, Liam.
Don't bring her back.
It would be the exact type of thing that you could...
Pat, the same shit that you're complaining about in Dark Souls 2 that's too heavy-handed...
No, it's different.
It's different.
Shut up.
It's different when Pat says it's okay.
That's pretty much it.
That exact voice, too.
Yeah, that's the one.
So, let's do the watch and then let's do the channel.
Yeah.
I know what I'm watching for.
What are you watching?
Right off the bat, a game, Sticks Master of Shadow.
Yeah.
It's a stealth game, a proper stealth game where you hide around and don't have to tech division.
It's heavily inspired by the original Thief games.
Oh, okay.
I'm really keen on it.
This is Nix.
Stix.
Stix.
You play as a goblin named Stix.
Yeah, you play as a goblin.
You fight because he's a goblin.
I don't like this stealth game.
So, I'm really looking forward to it, but it is by Cyanide Studios of...
Game of Thrones fame.
Game of Thrones of Orcs and Men, Blood Bowl.
So, I am keenly waiting on the reviews.
I was also thinking of trying that out.
And then I will buy it instantly on Tuesday if it's good.
It looks awesome, though, so I really hope it turns out well.
I hope that in a game where they don't have to focus on combat, they can really tighten up the game.
I hope so.
I hope so.
Because it looks good, too.
It's a fun premise.
Yeah.
I'm going to go ahead and put the fucking best of both worlds.
Hey, you guys like Karras?
Hey, do you like Garo?
Well, guess what?
There's a Garo anime.
No.
They made...
Do you know Garo?
It's like Kamen Rider, but like super badass crazy wolf guy?
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's a anime that takes place in...
Oh, I thought he meant Mark of the Wharves.
That's Mark of the Wharves?
No.
No, that would be confusing.
That would be confusing.
No.
Minus the U.
It's a Tokusatsu.
Garo.
Exactly.
It's very cool, though.
Tokusatsu Rider with Tokusatsu Horse.
Yeah, okay.
Like, it's so sick.
And yeah, that's starting up.
So, check that shit out.
That's what I'm going to do.
I'm watching Wabwab.
I bought a fish island, so I can make a rap video with my friends.
Dude, I saw...
All the ladies and men saw that everything is better with a fish island.
I can't believe you saw that, and I saw that too.
Yeah, Homestar Runner just updated with like the best number one jam, and I'm going to
like, when I saw that, and I saw all the other Homestar Runner cartoons on the sidebar
of YouTube, I'm like, I'm just going to watch this for a while.
Okay, because my response was to replay the game.
Oh, I was also thinking about that too.
Did it ever come out on PS3, the strong bad games?
I think so, but I had them already purchased on the Wii, so I was playing a lot of them.
Yeah, I know, but I was like, if I had them...
I think they came out on the PS3.
I can't remember.
I can't remember.
But I'm really excited.
I'm just like, is there going to be a Homestar...
Because it was such a random thing.
It's just a random song.
It's not like, we're back and we're making more stuff.
I love how Homestar Runner got big enough to get a game, but still has cheap Flash videos.
It still has cheap Flash videos.
Yeah, love it.
The brothers' chaps are not dead, man.
No, they're not dead.
An alien isolation.
They're making that Yo Gabba Gabba money, that's what they were doing apparently.
And people have told me that they work on Gravity Falls, so...
Hmm.
And Alien Isolation comes out today, and hopefully I'll get some time to put some time into it.
We might make a video, who knows.
It's possible.
It's possible.
I'm going to take a look at Alien Isolation, but I'm mostly going to just play more Hyrule Warriors and Ultimax.
Yeah.
And see if I can't finish Monster before I go to Japan.
Hmm.
Probably at Monster Merchandise.
No.
I don't even know their alert.
I don't know what...
You can't finish it.
You cannot.
Why?
Because it's so long.
You don't dare me to finish shows, motherfucker.
He dares you.
He just did it.
I will finish it by tomorrow.
I may have 55 episodes to go, but I think I can do it.
You're going to be embarrassed if you don't finish it.
That's more time than you would have.
No, it's not.
55 episodes?
That's 22 minutes each.
That's roughly three an hour.
I could do it in one day if I wanted.
And I've done dumber things for less reason.
You know a little bit too little about being smart.
Well, I remember once talking to Woolly back when we were in college and he lent me a bunch of...
I don't know what the fuck it was.
And I gave it back to him like three days later.
It was Naruto.
It was fucking Naruto.
That's what it was.
He gave me hundreds of episodes of Naruto.
And I gave it back to him like a week later.
He goes, how?
Pat, did you just absorb this?
Yeah, absorb media.
And the answer is yes, I absorbed media.
Yeah.
So yeah, maybe I'll finish off Monster.
And that's for the show.
And that's why I had to kill Naruto.
It's true.
By the way, just a little thing about Monster.
I cannot believe that that show actually goes to the lengths of defining your villain as worse than Hitler.
Yeah.
Characters about characters that say the phrase, boy, Hitler was evil, but he wasn't evil enough.
We need this new guy.
We need a new guy.
Holy shit.
Get him out of there.
Holy fucking shit.
Get him in there.
Get him out of there.
What?
Did you already say your name?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dick's Master of Shadows.
What's happened on the channel?
At the site, obviously.
The Super Best Friends Play site.
Come on, please.
Please go.
Please go.
So yeah, Shitstorm is continuing.
I think tomorrow we have our last episode of Gatulu.
Spoiler alert, we didn't beat the game.
Guess what?
There's a very good reason why you couldn't beat the game.
And a lot of people suspected why is such.
That's correct.
And our new game is starting again for another seven days.
Seven episodes.
And then another seven days after that.
And then one offs.
Yeah, you'll see.
And goofy one offs.
And then Guacamelee and Dark Souls 2.
We'll continue.
We'll continue to floppy.
Yeah, that's correct.
And Fisticuffs will continue as regularly scheduled.
Friday, right?
Yeah, that's correct.
And we might have a one off or two, probably once a week.
Just let's see.
For a little bit.
Yeah.
And we'll have a few that are just kind of Halloweeny, spooky flavored, I guess.
Ooh, spooky.
I ordered some Dreamcast.
Sorry, no, never.
I ordered some Saturn games.
Yeah.
Online.
And one of them has a skeleton in them.
You didn't.
No.
You didn't.
I'm not gonna say it.
Don't say it.
But I really want to play this game.
I got it.
Can I buy it off you afterwards?
Yes.
I would love to.
Sure.
Okay.
You have a own Saturn?
Yeah.
I bought it for that game.
Did you guys know that there's a skeleton inside you that's waiting to burst down?
Is that true?
There's a skeleton inside each and every one of you, listener.
Did you know that you're just a ghost?
Yes.
Pat?
Yes, what is it?
Thank you for the title of this episode.
I know, right?
I know.
Did you know that you're just a ghost?
Thank your skeleton, Willie.
You're just a ghost that possesses a skeleton covered with meat.
It's true.
It's a trap.
That's life.
That's life right there.
That's life.
I think that about does it.
I think that about does it.
Yeah.
Everybody.
I'll see you guys back in Montreal.
Oh, sure.
True.
I will see your skeleton back here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Next week, before my skeleton leaves.
Please remember how to speak English.
Please.
All right.
See you, everybody.
Bye.
Bye.