Castle Super Beast - SBFC 066: You won't get it unless you've seen "Too Many Cooks"
Episode Date: November 11, 2014This week on the friendcast: Nintendo Direct, Karissagate, Overwatch, Amiibo's and Driveclub. Â ...
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That was that like... Too many cooks! Too many cooks! Too many cooks! Too many cooks!
Oh, oh, adult swim. This is so good. I was not ready. I was not ready!
I can't believe they would air that on TV as well.
See, here's where I...
Like four in the morning.
As its own show in their like half hour vlog.
It's four adults. It is quite true.
It was an adult swim thing at like way early in the morning
and they just fucking said, we don't care.
Like the thing is, you weren't ready.
You weren't ready. The problem is that I was sent this way afterwards
and I was ready and then I looked down and saw that I had like nine more minutes to go.
Yeah, yeah.
And then I became unready.
It's one of those links that you should almost watch with a spoiler.
No spoiler, no comment.
Oh, yeah, you need a no spoiler.
Because I was watching it and I was going to move the mouse to see how much it's left.
And I was like, no, don't do that.
Right. And I just kept going and about like two minutes in,
like I wasn't laughing at all. I was just watching it like dead stone face.
Yeah.
And two minutes in, I fucking lost it.
Yeah.
It took me three minutes to get the gimmick out of there.
So like this isn't over?
Yeah, exactly.
Wait, what?
It's there's too many cooks in here.
I don't think that's true at all.
Yeah, I'm throwing a link down for anyone who hasn't seen it.
This fucking video is art.
I think adults should just do that type of thing randomly throughout the week
and never say when it's going to be on and never release it ever.
Like don't even put it online.
It's a video version of Frog Fractions.
Exactly. Exactly.
Totally like that.
And it's the best video I've seen since Shilabuff.
That was like last week.
I know. It's so good.
Shilabuff things never gets old.
Yeah, it's old.
The song is catchy.
Just like Shilabuff.
Again, as long as he can keep this sort of attitude up of like parody of himself to this degree.
Yeah.
But you can pull himself out.
But guess what? You can only do that for so long where it's like,
well, then you have to actually become like a person again.
Yeah.
No, not if you're rich.
You can become a walking caricature forever.
I guess so.
He should just wear that big mask of himself that they were wearing.
Exactly. Exactly.
Once you're hollowed out, man, there's nothing that you can do.
Good.
Should get you a big kick in that shade mask of yourself.
Yeah.
No, you should wear the costume that Rocco wore in Undergrads.
Yeah.
They wear that big inflatable version of himself.
Yeah, yeah, totally.
Alpha, alpha, alpha.
I want another LP with balls that could be our channel's rival.
Arrest me for alpha.
Arrest me for alpha.
Welcome to episode 66.
Best friends can do it.
Only 600 more until we get slammed by the church.
Oh, no.
Only.
I thought you were going to say the devil.
I thought you were going to say the devil.
Like, no, no.
Let me check your math on that.
Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, exactly.
600 plus 66.
Wow.
Wow.
It's a revelation.
We have to have Jericho.
You can do the math.
We have to have Jericho Kane on the podcast and that happens.
And he'll save us from the devil.
What are you doing on New Year's night?
Yeah, but that'll be in like, like 40 years or something.
We'll still have to be doing this.
Oh, 40.
It's not 40 years back.
I don't know.
It's like 12 years.
I'll be dead.
What's going on, guys?
What's going on?
I'm alive.
That's good.
Even though I'm sitting in this scary chair.
I can't believe you survived.
Because yesterday we got together and watched 22 episodes of
Kamen Rider Gaim stopping right before apparently the best one.
Apparently episode 23.
No, I didn't.
Not until after the fact.
But apparently I got some people on Twitter that were basically like,
No, don't stop now.
Including cranky.
Yeah.
Well, but I was tired and you needed to get out of my house so I could take a shower.
There you go.
And we also had to catch trains back home.
Yeah, I know.
But fuck, man.
That's a good show.
Well, I'll tell you what, right off the bat.
I want a delicious lunch right now.
It's still evident that this show is for baby children.
No, why would you like the torture?
No, it's not.
Why would you say that this show for baby children is for baby children?
It's for baby children.
No, it's not.
It's a good show.
Is it all of Kamen Rider?
Yes.
Yes.
It's fucking awesome.
Whatchamacallit?
Rough start, though.
Yeah, that lead in.
That lead in.
But you have to basically go,
I'm going to put Turn My Brain Off because this is going to be dumb,
but great.
I think the first episodes were all right.
And then it was like five to ten or something there that was rough.
And then it kind of.
Yeah, every episode comes in and you're just asking,
what is the plot?
I heard about the dancing, but I didn't hear about the dancing,
gang, robo fucking poke battles.
Yeah.
And you're just, you know, and it really never stops.
But then it just takes off from there.
And I got to say, like plot wise, continuity wise, it's definitely got the strongest,
just ongoing story compared to any of the Kamen Riders I've seen.
Because there's no monster of the day.
Which automatically kind of makes it better.
Automatically better.
Exactly.
Right off the bat.
And then by the point we stopped, there was like,
yo, serious plot dump.
Explanation of what the fuck is really going on.
Here's arc two about to go now.
Yeah.
And you're like, oh, shit's getting real.
This is pretty damn good.
No, absolutely.
Unquestionable.
Unquestionable best is fucking Mellon.
Yeah.
Mellon's the best.
Mellon is unlike no rival.
Yeah.
I think Darion's the only one that's close.
Yeah.
Might as well have just named him Tommy for fuck's sake.
Mr. Dangerous is pretty sick.
Darion is like, they made the most terrible, like, gay stereotype.
And like, we're going to go gay bashing for the whole episode,
because Japan, Ra Ra, we hate everyone.
And then he just turns into an amazing sick character.
And he kicks everyone's ass.
It's like, he's the weirdest thing.
He's the Armstrong or Ken Pachy of the series where it's like,
this guy's not going to upgrade, at least as far as I know,
but he doesn't need it, because he's just that good.
He's already by default.
And yeah, you just stay where you are type of thing.
Fucking Mango is so godlike.
Mango is so cool.
Yeah.
Mango, that was a great fucking intro.
So if you're not following along and you don't understand what we're saying,
in this common writer, people put fruits into locks
and then turn into fruit armors.
That's correct.
They're all the armors.
We've got orange.
We've got delicious.
Delicious.
Great.
Fruits and nuts.
Bacorn.
Pricone.
Did they run out of, like, adjectives?
Like...
It works.
It's really stupid.
And then it gets really cool.
Watermelon is so cool.
Oh, I was going to say...
Watermelon spit the seeds?
Watermelon is fucking dope.
Because that would make sense, right?
God, you fucking...
Kind of, but they do cooler with it.
Banana?
Banana is awesome.
Banana is the Virgil of the show.
The main guy is orange.
He's got a spear.
Yeah.
And then...
A banana spear.
Watermelon is like a fucking ride armor.
There's got to be...
This puts on...
There has to be so much, like, products to go with this show.
There are.
Shoe bowls and candy.
Oh, yeah.
Fish sticks.
Fish sausages.
Every time.
They always, they always have them.
It's fucking...
It looks dope, man.
That's nuts.
It's a pretty sick show, though.
Yeah.
We got way too hype when we...
When you were speeding through.
Yeah.
And we accidentally ended on a...
A clip where you see Takeshi Hongo from the...
The movies.
And we're like, oh my god, the original Kavanae writer is going to be in this fucking...
But it was actually a movie trailer that we just kept, like, skipping after the...
Skipping through exactly.
A couple of frames.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Watch the previews for shit like this.
Because it's the spoilers.
It's a Cigata Sentry role.
Yeah.
It's the Frieza defeated type stuff.
Yes.
Yeah.
But it would go previews and then movie preview.
But Pat would hit fast forward twice.
We'd skip the previews and see the first frames of the movie preview.
And so we just suddenly see this guy talking, like, to become a true writer.
We're like...
And the first time we saw that, we were like, oh my god.
Oh my god.
Next...
Holy shit.
And then...
And then there was nothing.
Turned out to be a hoax.
And then after a bit, we were like, oh, it's a movie trailer.
We were just being idiots and speeding through this series.
Could I just segue, because that feeds perfectly into something that, like, what you just said,
is that I went over to our dork friend's place to hang out with, like, Poison and Roxy.
Oh, and not them.
Well, they invited me to hang out with them.
Yeah, okay.
Because I missed them.
And we watched the first episode.
They don't invite me to hang out.
What's going on?
It's because I have stuff to do.
Oh, that's true.
You do have things to do.
Um, so...
We watched the first episode of Gem and the Hallgrims.
Because...
Yeah!
They go, I've never seen that.
How would you never see that?
Don't they love Sailor Moon?
How have they never seen it?
I don't know.
That's absurd.
How much they love Sailor Moon?
That's right up their alley.
Exactly.
I'd go, this is like American 80s Sailor Moon, not quite as whatever.
It's truly outrageous.
But they watched the first episode.
And then the first couple episodes of that show is rough.
The animation people's makeup just come off their faces.
Sure.
Is it Hannah Barbera?
No, it's Amit's, like, Mattel Hasbro, G.I. Joe type.
Anyway, so after the first episode, it says, like, coming up next on Gem and the Hallgrims,
and it starts showing you cut out scenes.
And it's like, oh no, then there's an explosion.
Then they're driving their car.
Then her boyfriend goes, I hate you.
Then we're like going on.
I'm like, wow, this is going on quite a bit.
And it's showing you the next episode.
And like two minutes go by.
Three minutes go by.
It's like a four minute long preview where they show you everything that happens.
And the reason why is because they didn't think kids would like the show.
So they try to cut up this preview to show old cool bits with no explanation.
And we went, oh my god.
And then I go, is this the actual episode?
Can we just skip the next episode?
Yeah, like, that was really fun.
We watched that.
It's like the final trailer before the movie comes out on the last day where they're like,
if you're not going to already go watch it, this is what we've got to show you tomorrow.
It's the previews at the end of Gaia, and then there's the ridiculous previews at the end of Gem.
But then even in Gaia, watching it and skipping the previews, you can't escape.
Because Orange and Banana will fight.
And then it will show at the bottom right of the screen.
After the break, Orange and Banana team up to fight a new foe.
And it just says it in text.
There's no way to avoid it.
After the break, another writer is introduced.
Yeah, well, if you want to talk about how many writers.
Yeah, let's start.
Dude, it's fucked.
This isn't practical.
The only way you could avoid this is you somehow had a DVD and then chapters skip would then maybe skip that shit.
Maybe.
So you have to back up, or fuck it, I'll do.
So in your standard common writer show, you go as far as the ones you've seen and know about.
You have your standard 40-ish episodes, right?
Yeah.
And then you usually have five or six writers-ish.
So that means that writer one has five to ten episodes to himself.
Now, it really depends.
And like, you know, there's a lot of variation out there.
But my understanding so far, I might be wrong on this, is-
Because there's how many common writers there is?
There's a ton of them, right?
Exactly.
But so far, it seems like the pattern that I've encountered has been the second writer shows up in the-
Seven to twelve.
Like twelve.
You know what I mean?
Like, no, I'd say around twelve is enough.
And then you kind of ramp up from there and then you introduce another one a bit later.
And then you space it up and then everything builds up to the big finale.
Yeah.
Literally.
By the end of episode four, you have five writers.
And then you go to episode five and then there's seven writers.
A photocopy of fruity flavors.
And you're like, what is going on?
And then there's a little-
And then there's a little-
And they're like 40.
Yeah.
There's a little break, but then they just like fucking turn the barrel over and pour.
Is there ever a shot where it shows like a lot of them in one shot?
Yes.
It'd be great if like a sub-fellow peer that said, just said, please understand.
No.
But like-
There are a ridiculous amount of writers dropping the cash on you.
And just because there are only like say seven or eight main writers right at the beginning,
that doesn't mean you get to stop seeing new suits.
Yeah.
No, everybody has five suits.
They can switch up.
It's true.
For the people out there who don't have any context, think about the fourth episode of Power Rangers.
They just added like-
I remember Power Rangers had a slow start.
It was like they found their things.
Yeah.
And then they had to learn about everything.
Yeah.
No, you got Tommy in episode three in this one.
Yeah.
And then episode four, you've got the White Armor.
Yeah.
Like when did-
Episode four, Dragon Zord.
Yeah.
Or like episode four, Sailor Venus.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
What the fuck, man?
Yeah, yeah.
Episode four, Sailor Venus.
They're just ramping up.
So no, it's a good time.
It's a really good time.
Yeah.
And of course, you've got the other bits of like, you know, what is the true plot?
What is the real thing the bad guy's trying to do?
And it's almost always horse shit.
And then-
This one's pretty good.
But then you're like, oh, it's not horse shit.
This one's actually like, that's actually a real problem.
And your evil plan is actually pretty well justified.
Yeah, yeah.
So that's the kind of plot I like to see.
I want the villain who's like, no, I understand why you're doing this.
No, you just have to look at the truth.
And then you see the truth and go, oh, shit.
So that will continue.
And I think we can wrap it up in another session.
Yeah, we just have to start slightly earlier in the day.
Yeah.
Now I hope you'll watch other things by this guy because he's a very good writer.
Yeah, you've named dropped a few things.
I don't know if Zero's already on my-
Yeah, it's already on your list.
Only if there's oranges in it.
I like oranges.
Oh my God, I was so thirsty after watching.
Yeah, whatever Rape would do his attacks, I'd be like, oh, that tastes so good.
It could explode into juice.
And then they power up using the power of like melon soda.
Soda.
Lemon soda.
It punches the fruit and a glass spills underneath the fountain.
I remember, I knew this already.
It's just the name of the dance team.
It's their dance crew.
What you forgot about, right?
What we were talking about.
When you guys first saw the belt thing, you guys freaked out.
Like I already knew the gimmick.
The belt has like a little like knife on it and like you put the fruit lock, lock it in.
It goes lock on and then you slice the fruit and it cuts the knife and that's what powers up.
And then a giant fucking mecha fruit drops on your head and then like your armor is there
and then it splits open and becomes your armor.
It unfolds on the end.
Yeah, it's very cool.
It fucking works.
It's great.
When you see the fucking mango mace dragging on the ground.
On his cape.
Right.
I can definitely see that.
You're in.
You're all the way in.
So true to life Kiwi sucks.
Kiwi sucks shit.
The only thing I gotta say is like learn to animate pigs.
Oh man.
They have a CG like giant pig bull thing.
It hurts at moments man.
It hurts.
It's weak.
The CG quality in general is outstanding.
But that's like weekly show TV quality.
We all lost our shit in episode 20 something when like the fuck grape just clips through
a bike.
Yeah.
They fucked up the layering.
And you've got like the preview for what's going to happen in the future.
And you've got like the intro where dude is riding on his bike into war with his army.
And the guy on the other side is riding a horse.
And they're just in their armors going and you're like what the fuck like where is this
going.
So yeah.
No.
That's good shit.
It's good stuff.
Other things going on.
I was going to say I finished.
I fucking marathon season four of Portlandia was just added.
Nice.
Dude.
Please tell me you finished watching the wire.
No.
I just skipped that fucking.
Yeah.
Skate.
But season four of Portlandia I kind of assumed like but no it's really really good.
Oh yeah.
I'm midway through.
I didn't finish it.
I didn't finish it.
But it's great.
The shout out.
I just want these two particular jokes and like I'm not sure like I'm spoilers but it
was just like Steve Buscemi is in this scene and it's there's a bunch of like corporate
giants that are all trying to push different vegetables.
It's like I got Brussels sprouts like in and Steve Buscemi is the celery guy and he's
just like and yeah a long island I I don't I got nothing.
They're like oh and like you have to start pushing celery.
What are your plans?
That's where the gift is from.
I forgot.
That's where it's from.
Okay.
So then he has to go and he gets into an FBI sting like you have to give us dirt on bacon
and Fred Armisen plays just bacon and it's just this guy with a big nose and he's got
like a giant yacht and he's like listen bacon I'm celery I don't need you but I need some
help and he's like well I need a a night with your wife if you want me to help you like
you want my wife and he goes back to Carrie and Carrie's like I'll do it.
There is that and then they they they ask the mayor of Portland like oh we need a parade
and he want and he cancels the pride parade because they're like well where's all the
crazy stuff that the pride parade used to have they had used to have these these crazy floats
and they're like we didn't have we haven't had that since the 80s.
He's like well this isn't fun and he just there goes a news prince and it says mayor
cancels pride parade and Fred and Carrie going this is really bad he should have done that
he's like well I I know who's who are the new outcasts he's a new outcast and then they
go they go I don't know bigots are unpopular cut to the bigot parade and then what's going
to the streets going boo boo and the whole thing disperses they're back in the mayor's
office they're like that didn't work that was a bad idea.
A bigot parade man.
A bigot parade.
The best part about all the skits with the mayor is that like his assistant that sticks
his head in is the real mayor of Portland.
Portland rather.
Portland.
He's the real mayor of Portland and like he actually like endorses the show.
Wait in real life?
In real life.
Oh cool.
He's a guest character that shows up on the show.
That's awesome.
And since he's not an actor that's all he says is just he just nods his head.
I don't know anything about it is it just a fake Portland?
It's no it is.
Dude you have to come over and watch it.
It's real.
I love to watch it.
It sounds super funny.
So yeah no a friend of my girlfriend lives in Portland and saw it was like yeah I don't
get it this isn't funny.
Okay.
Imagine a skit show that is what medal oculopsis to medal as hipsters are to.
Hipsters.
Yeah.
Portland.
That sounds good.
No no but just the focus.
The speed.
When you say Portland here I don't think hipsters.
The hippies got high and combined with a bunch of glasses.
No exactly.
When you say medal oculops I'm like even if I didn't know what medal oculopsis was I'd
know what that was.
Portland.
Portland is hipsters.
That's a good idea.
That's a good idea.
There's a sketch where there's a guy that's been in a coma since 1986 and in Portland
and when he wakes up he looks at everyone and goes what happened what happened?
And so it's like what happened like what no no hipsters like not hipsters um yuppies.
Yuppies yuppies yuppies and then he's just screaming at everyone in Portland.
Sounds really good.
I love to come watch.
Aside from that I'd be in Puppycat, be in Puppycat episodes.
I have that sitting on my computer I guess.
I saw some gifts going around.
It was so good.
Now a lot of people have been talking about how they're a little upset that some of the
animation designs change slightly like Puppycat looks a bit more cartoony and a bit not cheap
but a little like more Saturday cartoonish like like B and everyone else look the same
but Puppycat just looks a little more basic or something.
Where does this fit in the continuity of the first episode that I saw?
You actually need to have seen the first episode.
Oh the pilot matters.
The pilot matters.
Oh don't break your phone.
I don't worry about it.
I'm just fine with that.
Slamming your phone on the ground.
Yeah.
Yeah you kind of-
More durable in my mouse.
But like after you give me so much shit for dropping my phone the other day.
You want some shit?
Oh my god.
Oh my god.
Right?
I just remembered I was too drunk I might have forgotten but no.
This motherfucker I'm pointing at woolly can't coexist in a human space without knocking
perfectly stable normal shit over.
Have you said your piece crazy man?
Because here's what the fuck is up.
When you hear about Liam knocking Pat's mouse on the ground it's like oh what the fuck you
got really spooked.
He did.
He did.
Here's what you didn't know.
You know because you're like oh how did that happen oh where how do you knock a mouse off
a desk.
It's not on a desk.
It's on a fucking stool.
He moves the mouse on a stool with a flimsy little mouse pad.
That is not flimsy.
It's flimsy.
But the one with the big boobs that one stays on his desk really really hard.
It balances like fucking Jenga.
It's not balancing.
On top of his stool and you put the mouse on top of that so if anything knocks a little
bit of the corner of your mouse pad it goes flying again.
How would anything knock the corner of the mouse pad?
It's like a fucking house of cards.
No it's not.
It doesn't stand.
How is anything going to knock it unless I'm a huge dumb idiot with long arms sitting
on the couch and flailing my arm like a jackass all over the place.
When you invite other human beings into your abode.
I invite other human beings in my home and not a single one of them except for you two
who have ever had any mouse, table, stool, pad problems ever.
Toilet don't forget toilet.
I touched my butt against everything in your apartment.
That's okay.
Now you gotta go home and clean.
That's okay.
You can't build an upside down pyramid and then complain when the winds knock it over.
No.
There's no wind.
You're just draping your arms.
Oh and knocked it down.
Alright ladies.
Let's wrap it up.
You knocked my mouse on the floor and then I had to clean the mouse pad because it was
dirty.
You happy now?
You happy yet?
He takes his mouse pad and he starts washing it in the bathroom.
I am ecstatic at that.
I am so happy.
And then he started to make fun of how I sleep again.
Yeah.
Then you gave us a live demo of your fucking insanity.
Where we lost it.
We lost it.
Sorry Matt.
How's it been fucking bad?
It's the perfect way to sleep and make your bed at the same time.
Says the guy that swirls his toothpaste inside whatever the fuck you're thinking of.
Like I was losing it while he was showing us this crazy sleep reference.
Right?
Everyone said how it was weird.
The moment like I was losing it the whole time and then the moment Pat has to flip the
covers over his head and then straighten them out underneath and then slide from the
side.
Like a starfish.
Fucking Liam just falls over.
Like we just oh my god he's crazy.
It's no.
It's a good way to live.
Cue Indonesian Bob.
If you tried it you would know.
Cue Indonesian Bob furiously drawing like that.
Fucking fapping while he's drawing.
It's such good material.
Yeah just sorry the thing I just wanted to talk about being puppy cat really quickly
is that Adventure Time uses character cliches and sort of that tropes of like you know the
hero, the sidekick, the princess and all that to have big dumb fun adventures.
That's accurate.
Whereas being puppy cat uses a very quick very basic adventure to get over the character
personalities.
Because in the two episodes well they're one episode they're just splinted to that they
just talk about like how do you feel about B, B, why are you like this and it introduces
a whole other character and it really just is trying to emphasize characters and their
personalities and using a little adventure to expunge upon that.
So I thought that was like it's when we first, when we first saw being puppy cat I was like
I hope this isn't just going to be Adventure Time again because I want something slightly
different.
It's a different character yeah.
That's cool.
That's cool.
It takes like takes about four minutes.
I mean look again like Fiona has been done already and we all we know what the vet is
like we know what the pace of that is like.
Also Bravest Warriors has been done already.
As has, as has the, oh god I forgot the name of the other one but with the short like a
chubby kid and then the three superhero girls.
The black one that has like the afro with the shades.
They know what I'm talking about.
Yeah I know what you're talking about.
Yeah the name slips my mind.
It's kind of like a Marvin mystery kind of name.
Something adventure, something adventure, Timmy adventure.
Dude I can't remember.
Anyway but yeah they've been a couple of different examples of this type of thing across the
Frederator Network if you will.
The Empire now.
The Expanded Universe.
The Titmouse Universe.
The Titmouse Universe.
But no I'm really, I'm glad that they're doing a different thing with that because yeah
you've got to approach it from another angle.
But I really enjoyed the episodes I watched and just as video games I played a shitload
of Shadow Warrior.
The Eye of Distress says Pat.
It's like I'm free with everything you say and yet I watched The Bee and Puppycat and
just came away bored.
Sure.
Both of them?
Yeah.
No I didn't see the second one.
The pilot?
No I saw the pilot and the new one that just came out.
Did you like the pilot?
I liked the pilot a lot better than this one.
Okay.
I guess I'll have to see.
I'm watching you now.
Yeah.
I know Matthew and myself went to see John Wick and that was a fucking good movie.
Yeah.
I want you guys to- So John Wick is a story- Try not to get too specific because I'm not.
I'm not.
John Wick is the story of the man with the biggest dick in the universe and everybody
in the world who matters knows and cares that he has the biggest dick in the universe.
The one thing I want to tell you about is there's this neat thing where it's like not
a spoiler or anything but it's just like there's this, there's a lot of assassins in the movie
and there seems to be like an almost comic book undertone of the society and how these
assassins work and it's not the focus of the movie at all.
There's a subtle like, this is how this works and they don't explain it, they just go this
is how it works.
It's like kind of like Wanted, like Wanted has this big dumb thing but that's the focus
of Wanted and that's how all the characters, we got superpowers and it's like no one has
superpowers in John Wick but there's this weird little like, his little drops of war.
Yeah.
It's really well written and they never dwell on anything but you come away with a really
good understanding of all the elements of it.
It's not what you expect but it's really good.
I definitely didn't think it, like I didn't know anything about the movie going in really.
I've never seen the trailer, I just saw the poster and people saying go see it.
And like it wasn't what I expected in a good way, like it was a very good movie.
Yeah, I know, because I asked my girlfriend like, hey, do you want to go see a movie?
And she's like, yeah, sure, I'm like, what's it called?
I forget, I don't even remember, I have no knowledge of this, I'm just going to walk
in cold and see what's up because this guy says it's very good.
And Canary's is excellent in that, so, like, no, he's actually really good.
Okay.
Yeah.
Whoa.
I didn't even know anyone was in it.
Well, he's in it.
That's my first piece of information.
Actually, tons and tons of people are in it, I'm not going to say who, but Canary's is
one star.
Everyone who matters.
Yeah, there's a lot of actual people in the movie.
So Matt, you were saying you were playing something?
Yeah, I played a Shillow to Shadow Warrior and I'm not going to go on to it because
I talked about like, you know, a week or two ago, but I'm still really, really enjoying
that.
And I said it's getting like, I've been told that the only negative thing about Shadow
Warrior is that it goes on quite a bit where it's like, it doesn't actually change that
much and it just looks like an old ass shooter game.
I like an old ass shooter game and I kind of realized that the way you're like, you're
supposed to play these games because this is done by people can fly, but not it's done
by the people that left people can fly to be flying wild hog that made hard reset and
all that.
So the way you're supposed to play these games is to circle around and look for every explosive
in the level and lead all the guys to the explosives and never stand behind cover and
never do anything.
And I forgot that if you recall, you get rated for every fight.
You get double their cry ranking out of out of stars, like ninja stars.
And like as you play, you're like, you're shooting like you think you're supposed to
be shooting.
You're like, I'm doing this wrong.
You're supposed to vary up your stuff and use every weapon in your arsenal because they
start throwing different ways of guys.
And like where I am now, it's kind of slowing down where they try to like turn on switches,
go over here, backtrack and their level design isn't great for those sections.
The levels where you're just supposed to go forward are just great, but like I'm kind
of like, I hope it picks up, but like it's still really funny.
You know what?
It's exactly what Duke Nukem forever should have been like what this is to the original
Shadow Warrior.
If this would have been Duke Nukem forever, I would have been happy with it.
You were kind of saying like you heard it was a bit too long for its own good.
Is that like really coming into its own?
You're seeing that.
Well, I meant, I meant chapter nine and apparently there's 17, 17 seems like a long number for
a first person shooter.
Yeah.
Why do you mean value man?
Value.
Hey repetitions.
Yes.
There's something to be said about games not having to be 20 hours straight.
Yeah.
Especially for especially a game of this type.
Yeah.
We can say that as adults with paychecks.
Yeah.
But still, like good solid brevity is okay.
Yeah.
As long as you have, you can have other modes outside of your story.
And also it's like, I would rather have a game be amazing in 10 hours than pretty good
and 20 because if it's amazing, then we'll just play it twice.
Yeah.
That's true.
Exactly.
Like how many times is combined, how many complete RE4 playthroughs are sitting in this
room?
Over 100.
I would assume.
I would assume.
There's a bunch.
Yeah.
And I mean, I know that not everyone agrees with me on it, but I really was happy with
Mirror's Edge.
Yeah.
In terms of its length.
Oh yeah.
Because we just replay it over and over.
Exactly.
And then you go into the fucking trials and then you do the, and you're good.
And then you play Transistor and it's shorter than Banquish and Mirror's.
Yeah.
But it's arguably just as good.
It's like such a tight package.
It's not better.
Like it's...
Oh my God.
Liam, what's going on?
Yeah, tell me.
Tell me, Liam.
Other than that shit, I saw Book of Life, which I spoke to you about a little bit earlier.
Oh, Liam.
Right.
Yeah.
The day of the dead, like CGN.
That flew under everyone's radar.
It's not great.
It's not great.
It kind of deserved to fall under the radar a little bit.
Some of the designs are really good and some of the shots in conjunction with the designs
are really good at evoking that thing.
But they have this whole modern day thing to it where it's about these kids who go on
a field trip to a museum and that's just neat.
And that's where they learn about the day of the dead.
Oh, I didn't know about that.
I thought it was just...
Yeah.
And that whole modern day thing is just junk.
There's like four original songs in the movie that they sing, you know, the big Disney
things and like two of them are just terrible and like also under five lines long.
But they make big scenes out of them.
There's the most terrible character in recent history who is just an unnecessary black character
in the movie who is a god who they are just like...
He's played by Ice Cube, I think.
Yeah, maybe.
And it was just like, let's make this character speak and act black.
And it's just terrible.
He's just not funny.
It's just a terrible stereotype, which is weird in a movie that's like this.
And then like I found the bit where it dwelled on their childhood lasted a bit too long and
the movie only really...
The fact that you just said there's a bit where they do their childhood, I feel like
de facto that's too long.
Yeah.
It sucks.
I feel like the movie only comes into its own kind of in the second act and like then
it kind of meanders towards the finish line.
No, you don't want to meander.
You never want to meander.
No.
And like there's some really cool things going on and there's some smart stuff, but there's
so much just weak average.
That sucks because that's the book of life was produced by Guillermo del Toro.
Yes, exactly.
He can't win it all the time.
That was the whole thing where they couldn't get money for the movie and they signed Guillermo
del Toro and they still couldn't get money for the movie.
That's a terrible name for a child's CG movie, the book of life.
The book of life.
Wasn't there like a really sad, like, oh no, I'm thinking of Trio Life.
I don't know.
Remember that?
There's like this Brad Pitt thing and Sean Penn movie that people were like it's weird.
Yeah, it sounds like Oscar Pitt.
It sounds like Oscar Pitt.
Yeah, kids don't want to go see a thing that starts with the book of.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
Sadly.
Sadly, you know.
Maybe the book of puppies or the books of explosions, but yeah, not the book of life.
It's it's like it's so all right.
Like if you're really into that, like Mexican Day of the Dead stuff, give it a look because
the designs are good, but I don't think the film.
How many luchadors are in this movie?
Yes, seriously.
Seriously?
One.
Yeah, I don't think you can possibly make something like this.
Oh, okay.
Well, that's cool.
Yeah, but he's only he only does any luchador stuff on screen for maybe a total of, you
know, seven seconds.
It's like after.
He watches.
After Guacamelee and our lucha lucha marathon, I really would have thought that I would have
had more in there.
But no, it's not even half of the bag.
It's like way under whatever you'd call that.
What do they call that?
I don't know.
It's bad shit.
Yeah.
It's not great at all.
It's like super average other than that.
Sounds like a country boy like you has come a long way, Liam.
You've come a long way from your from from what you used to be.
What do you mean?
Being exposed to crazy.
No.
Yeah.
And from the world you came from, because I'm just trying to set up that.
I'm trying to set up your fucking story that killed me this week.
So I come to Wally the other day when we're recording and I'm like, I have a story for
the podcast.
I completely forgot this happened, but it's pretty good.
So when you live in a little town, here we go.
I'm talking like when we have our bigot parade.
Yeah, exactly.
No, when you live in a little town, I'm talking like population 30 and under.
When you live in a little town.
So it's your family and then the other family.
The extended family.
Yeah.
When you live in a small town like that and you walk down the street, you see someone,
you say hi.
You say hello.
You say, you know, top of the morning, whatever.
You say hello.
Yeah.
Because of the hospitality of the good country folk.
Yeah.
And most likely you know that person too.
And most likely you know that person.
Yeah.
So.
Morning.
I had this moment that I forgot about and remember the other day when I first moved to Montreal
at the tender age of 16, I didn't know how to respond to hundreds of people on the street.
Why?
And for the first couple months, it was just like, hello.
Hi.
Hi.
Morning.
Hello.
I cannot fucking believe this.
Walking down fucking town, just nodding at everyone.
Everyone.
Because I couldn't, I didn't know.
And when I didn't say anything, I felt bad.
Did you see everyone's like straight ahead, thousand mile stare?
No.
And I didn't even knew you were there.
I saw some people walk away with a smile though, and that made it worthwhile.
Aw.
But like, boy that was a fucking weird walk.
That must have been like, you're on regular difficulty at your hometown, but when you moved,
it's like, now it's on maniac difficulty.
Yeah, exactly.
You're like, wow, this is a lot.
Oh, hello folk.
This is way more challenging.
I had to carry on a bottle of water everywhere.
Not even the city.
That kind of behavior is exclusive to a breakfast joint and an elevator.
Breakfast joint set.
It's like when Louis C.K. talks about their cousin from the country that comes up and
then they walk by a hobo that's on the ground.
Yeah.
And she's like, oh my God, we need to help that person.
And he's like, no, you don't.
Well, actually, you really need to.
Yeah, he probably really does need help, but we don't do that here.
No, no, no, no, he just needs your help.
That's very sweet.
Aw, man, that's great.
That's fucking great.
That's a fucking super awkward page from my life.
Yeah, yeah.
That's awesome.
Glad to hear that you worked it through as of last week.
Sure.
As of last week.
Let's go with that.
Yeah.
Other things.
I beat Binding of Isaac for the first time.
Hey, congrats.
It was the first baby stupid whatever ending where you just kill mom.
How gross is it?
Oh, it's just gross.
Fight poop.
I kind of miss that like new grounds level gross.
Boys, that a new grounds game.
Holy shit.
It's just like fight poop when there's blood everywhere.
Fuck Jesus.
Yeah.
You have toothpicks that give to shoving your eyeballs.
Exactly.
Power ups.
That weird like how do you describe that juvenile gross new grounds humor?
Something about that.
1997 new grounds top 50.
That's made to a nutshell.
Early South Park.
Yeah.
The stamperverse.
Do you remember?
Speaking of these guys, do you remember Woolly the other day where I was talking about their
upcoming game, Mugenics?
And you were just like, man, they could just make Super Meat Boy forever.
Yeah.
And then I was like, wait, you know, that's their new game, right?
Yeah.
Literally Super Meat Boy forever.
I was like, what the fuck?
Yeah.
No, man.
That was too good.
Bring back the days of Zau Zau.
Yeah.
Bring it back.
Oh, Zau Zau 3 was the best.
It's the best one.
It's the best one.
It's the best one.
It's the best one.
It's the best one.
It's the best one.
It's the best one.
And the only other thing of significance this week is I'm trying to beat Sonic Lost World
before I received my copy of Sonic Boom, which I got like on a Super Discount.
Sonic Lost World is way worse than I remember.
It may be just because the first levels are more polished and just better overall.
But the later levels are fun vampires.
I have more fun just sitting there and doing nothing than I do playing some of these levels
in Sonic Boom.
Because at least then you have your thoughts and your thoughts could be fun.
Exactly.
I'm surprised you went back, man.
You're sick.
I was more than halfway through and I was like, whatever, I'll just finish it.
Just chip away at that back.
You're doing it for the academic curiosity, right?
Because you gotta know.
More overlap than anything else.
I don't know if I would agree, but when we all sat down and played Generations a bit,
to me the first couple levels were really fun.
Then as Woolly was forced to do challenges to unlock stuff, that's when I was just like,
and it was the hardest thing.
Yeah, and I kind of just...
I was just like, oh, okay.
And I just wanted to stay in classic Sonic mode.
But yeah.
The main levels in Generations is the only good stuff really.
The challenges are...
So did you see that apparently there's Sonic Runners?
Yeah, I did.
That is maybe the next gen or current gen Sonic Team game.
If that rumor is to be true, I mean, I'll look forward to it.
Because the last game they made was Generations and before that was Colors,
whereas the Lost World guys made Black Knight last and Secret Rings before,
so they didn't exactly have a good pedigree.
I love how no matter how many Sonic teams we add, the quality doesn't go up.
Well, these guys made Generations and Colors.
Those are good.
Yeah, but fine.
The average quality though goes down because you're spreading out the good games
and the bad games.
I don't think it goes down, it just fluctuates.
Wildly.
No, not wildly.
I mean, it used to be bad game kind of good game or good game,
and now it's bad game, bad game, bad game kind of good game.
We're going to give a State of the Union address on Sonic Boom a little later in the podcast.
Oh, really?
Okay.
Oh, jeez.
I'm excited to play that shit.
Well, yep.
The 3DS one looks like it's going to be cool.
It's fun.
It looks like it's going to be fun.
There's a demo of that right now.
Yeah.
It's pretty fun.
I guess with my week, besides Gime and that stuff,
I just got downloaded a bunch of little shit and started going through with things
and I wanted to play for the longest while, but I never actually got to.
Like what?
So, like Ness Remix.
I've heard nothing good about Ness Remix.
Ness Remix is, no, no, there's fun parts of it,
but like the fun parts are the remix parts.
Of which there are like, what, 20 of them that you have to unlock piecemeal?
You unlock them piece by piece.
And then what there is is there's every game that comprises the remixes on separate columns
that you go through doing little challenges in those games.
And so those challenges are pretty, they're like that standard gameplay.
Yeah.
And they vary in quality.
They vary, but for the most part they're like, yeah, that's what I'd expect.
You know what I mean?
It's like Papa Wheelie and Excite Bike for a while, which I love Excite Bike, so I'll
fucking do it.
But you know, you kind of just, after a while you're like, yeah, this is just the game.
But the remix stuff where it's like, oh, they're throwing things on their head and introducing
crazy elements and whatever, that's fun.
It's just, there's not as much as you'd hope.
I wish the game had just been remixes.
It should have been.
I feel like when you say that, it's like shouldn't this just have been a more fleshed out warrior
wear?
Yeah, almost.
But they also go out of their way, though, to kind of like train you in how to play these
old games.
Yeah, exactly.
Because it's almost as if like, if you never touched these and you got thrown into the remix,
you'd just die.
If you were a kid that like, I don't understand why can't Metroid crawl, you know?
Maybe they'll turn into one of those things like how everyone knew that the best parts
of Mario Sunshine were those challenges.
Yeah.
That turned into Mario Galaxy.
Or that Captain Toad is fucking kick ass so he gets his own game.
Yeah.
Maybe they'll be like, well, the remixes, everyone has said these are the best parts,
so maybe they'll just release like, but like a hundred remixes someday.
That'd be amazing.
Yeah, because we fucking, what's that company Exploding Rabbit?
They're making that.
Remember that NES crossover flash game where you could play as Guy from Contra and Sam.
I remember that.
Yeah, I remember that.
And then they had their Kickstarter to do an actual one with their own characters or
just pallet swaps on those characters.
Not Mario.
That's the kind of game I'd want from Nintendo, to be honest.
I just, you know, if they revisit this, it'd be great to see, like you said, a heavier
focus on the remix.
Yeah.
But you really...
In a game called NES Remix.
But how do you like, again, teach kids that are playing instead of never experience these
games?
Like there's some challenges...
I don't think there's any kids playing that we use.
Well, there's some challenges where it'll be like a section of a Mario level and it'll
be like, get the hidden one up.
And you just, you know, you need to know where it was from that level because you've played
Mario.
You know where it is.
But then you wait a couple seconds, like you wait like 10 seconds or even less than
that and a little yellow circle appears going...
No, we use.
The 3DS one's super pared down.
I thought a brand new 3DS one just came out.
It's a mashup of the first and second game with a ton of content removed.
Oh, awesome.
Yeah, I know.
Okay, so, you know, there's some good stuff to it, but yeah, it's a bit disappointing
in that respect.
The other thing I grabbed, Dr. Luigi, just because I love Tetris and Dr. Mario.
Yeah, you love that shit.
I love those games, right?
So, like, let me see what this fucking bullshit is about.
And, like, the Dr. Luigi mode where you just get these horse shit L-shaped pills.
Yeah!
What the fuck?
It's such bullshit, but it's great.
It's really, it's really good.
It's fun.
Try to work with this shit.
Yeah, I guess you're just like, what the fuck are you doing, Luigi?
The worst possible shape you could give this game type.
You're an awful doctor that doesn't know what the fuck is going on and, like, survive, you know.
Are you a medically-wise person like Dr. Luigi?
Mario?
Mario.
Actually, I think it's the new Smash Codex.
Like, it's Ken and the Dr. Mario isn't a real doctor.
Oh, shit.
Like, you see those?
I haven't seen those yet.
Or pets?
Like, I don't think that's a real doctor.
And then the goddess of nature is like, yeah, he just throws pills randomly at viruses.
There's another one where it's like, hey, look, it's Samus.
No, that's not Metroid.
That's Samus.
Just like how you are not Kid Icarus.
You're Pitt.
Oh, and how Link is in Zelda.
Yeah, Link is in Zelda, I guess.
I'm so happy that's in there.
Yeah.
That's fucking fantastic.
That's of the same caliber as all Snake's Codex conversations were.
They sound like Codex conversations.
It's weird.
Did you play Kid Icarus?
It's accurate to Kid Icarus, though.
Those conversations are exactly like that in the game.
No, thanks, Liam.
I would love to play Kid Icarus, but I like having hands.
Just be careful.
No, dude, I can play that game for maybe four minutes before my hands start to tense up.
If you don't play it on nine, you'll be okay.
No, I mean, the instant Pitt's feet hit the ground, I get pain in my wrists.
And I don't want to be like Liam.
The only reason this happened is because of work and that.
I work at games.
I went through it.
I kept it around like seven, and I was fine, and I did it all in the span of like four or five days.
Still, though, it's criminal that that game hasn't been re-released on the Wii U.
It is absolutely criminal, because it's a perfect fit for the gamepad.
Absolutely perfect.
Instant money.
And it wouldn't kill me.
Anyway.
What else you play, man?
You said you have a bunch of little things.
Those two, I grabbed another game that I was planning to just sit and enjoy, but I can't talk about it.
Oh, yeah, because it's the same now.
Because it suddenly turned into an LP.
What was going to be a quick look?
Yeah, it was going to be a quick look turned into a random LP.
It's like this quick look is three hours long.
Damn it.
I guess we should cut this down a bit.
And I also booted up Child of Light late to the party.
I fell off the wagon with that after the first boss.
Yeah, it's gorgeous.
Oh, you didn't get to the real shit, then.
Yeah, I guess.
It's gorgeous, and it's like a basic RPG thing.
Like you said, back in the day.
But you've got the Whisp, and he's cool.
You've got the Whisp.
Speed up and slow down stuff.
And I'm playing it with the girlfriend.
See, that probably helps.
I hate that Whisp shit.
It helps.
It helps.
I much preferred Valiant Hearts to Child of Light.
Really?
Yeah, I never finished Valiant Hearts, but it was not too long ago.
Like a month ago that I was still playing it.
Or I was like, I had no compulsion to go back to Child of Light.
Well, one way or another, UbiArt, like just fucking...
Oh, oh, oh.
Give them more of this, please.
Give them your money.
Fucking raise your hands.
It's almost as if you should make some sort of 1001 Arabian-style, you know, game.
Yeah, Arabian mates.
You can't just make a new IP like that.
I mean, Aladdin is a pretty popular myth, and people like it.
Maybe Disney let him get a one.
Maybe.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You could do one on that old Disney movie.
What was it called?
The Prince of Egypt?
Yeah.
It's called Rotel Dorado.
Yeah, get Jake Gyllenhaal in there.
He's a pretty good actor.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
Yeah, he'd be perfect.
They should make a fucking new Prince of Persia game with this engine.
Jake Gyllenhaal.
Jake.
What was the name of that Prince of Persia remake on fucking 360PS3?
It was just called Prince of Persia Classic.
That game hit ass.
It's got problems.
Really?
Because I loved it.
When was the last time you played it?
The day I came out.
That was like four years ago.
I played it not too long ago.
I'm like, it's all right.
It's not bad.
It's just like...
It's a good remake, but it's no Shadow and Flame.
I'll lend you Shadow and Flame, so you can play that.
Shadow and Flame are so fucking hard.
I know.
I got far in the original Prince of Persia, but when Shadow and Flame came out, I'm like,
what?
The first thing that happens in the game is you have to do a super hard puzzle.
And I just want to give a brief moment to that fucking...
It's a vying slash gif that's going around of the Asian lady and the Asian guy talking
to each other.
And then the Iron Man dressed up guy comes and tries to scare them.
With the Iron Man mask.
Iron Man mask and gloves on.
And then they just kind of go, ooh, who's that?
Completely unphased.
And then he pulls up the Iron Man mask and it's a black guy and they freak the fuck out.
And then he takes it to me and I, oh man, that cut to the marrow.
Yeah, his life is basically ruined.
Dude, that fucking destroyed me because it was so honest.
It was such an honest reaction of like, oh my God, the Darkies.
Like, it fucked, like, the woman terrified.
There was no buffer time.
No filter.
You saw them across the street and were able to build up your resistance.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Exactly.
And even wore the white gloves so that you couldn't tell the hands.
So you get to see the raw reaction when you don't prepare for the encounter with the black man.
Is that the intention of it?
I think so.
I think so because it was the way he pulls it up.
He's just, you know, he has a very straight face.
No, no scary emotion to it, but it's just, I'm a black guy and they're not expecting that.
Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but are there versions of this that when his helmet comes
up, it says remember me?
Like a lineup of them in a row all sliding up and down.
Yeah.
Right.
Honestly, I just, and I was like, plague, give me the source.
I need to find out where this can, I need to know everything about this vine because I'm like, I want more of this.
I fucking want to see that type of thing all over.
This is our racism fetish.
Because like, honestly.
You love seeing it.
I love it because it's so honest.
People don't get to pretend to be holier than that.
They don't get to like fucking hide a high horse or be on a soapbox.
It's like you see real reactions from people to shit that terrifies them because you wouldn't expect random stranger to be a black person.
Yeah.
You know, and that automatically terrifies you for some reason.
They had some type of parade.
Oh God.
And I think about how like, how would I react in a situation like that?
Or how would other people react?
And it, no, but that's the fucked up thing is your expectations go doll person in a mask, probably someone I know, or if not random white guy.
You know what I mean?
Or something like that.
It's, ugh, I can't get enough of it.
I can't.
My life is about that.
You're sick.
Anyway, then I saw Too Many Cooks and that was it.
Too Many Cooks.
I want to stop.
Too Many Cooks.
Too Many Cooks.
Too Many Cooks.
Say Too Many Cooks will spoil the broth.
Honey, I don't think that's true.
Light up for the picture.
So what else did I do aside from watching Too Many Cooks?
I mean, I hated Too Many Cooks the first time I watched it.
Too Many Cooks.
Too Many Cooks.
And then I watched it like 10 times in a row.
Yeah.
Which is like an hour and 40 minutes.
That is a long time.
I thought you were going to say, what did I do aside from watching Too Many Gimes?
Too Many Gimes.
Too Many Cooks.
I know.
Too Many Gimes.
Too Many Cooks.
Did I play?
I played almost nothing.
I played.
I beat.
I got all the collectibles in Bayo.
Which means I can finally start to play Bayo again.
There you go.
Because I hate that collectible thing.
But yeah.
I know.
Rodin's pretty tough.
Yeah.
I gave him to his place where he's like, just give me a minute.
I need to die here.
Yeah.
No.
He comes into the place and he's like, I'm probably going to die in the next 90 seconds.
So give me a second and we can get ready recording.
He's like, he doesn't want to get spoiled at what Rodin's boss fight looks like.
So he looks away.
And then he hears, yeah.
And I have about 10 seconds.
Oh, there.
I'm dead.
Did he pop on you?
Yeah.
No.
I get him to that all the time now.
But I can't deal with the second one.
I don't know what to do.
Yeah.
That was great.
That was great.
I'm starting to try and play Shadowrun again and Wasteland and all those RPGs that I start
but then quit within an hour and a half because I'm paralyzed by min-maxing because I feel
like I chose the wrong stats at the beginning so I have to go back and restart.
And you're carrying it in an inherently shitty way.
And I was like, oh, but I think I finally found something I like in Shadowrun and I'll do
the same with Divinity and all that.
But is it perfect?
I think it's an inferior build.
Oh, no.
I was told that I looked up a lot.
But you probably rolled the wrong stuff.
No.
There's no rolling in Shadowrun.
You should go back and check.
The new patch botches the numbers.
Fuckers.
Last week we told people what our new LP is.
Do you want to announce our thing that we have to settle for?
Oh, yeah.
No, absolutely.
Just a buffered people.
I already told people on the topic on NeoGas.
There's no going back now.
So we were playing Evil Thin for an LP and it's not out yet.
Because it's out tomorrow.
Tomorrow, right?
Tomorrow if you're listening to this on Tuesday.
And the reason why that's kind of pushed and stuff is because the piece, don't buy,
I'll be putting this warning in the part seven.
Don't buy the PC version of the Evil Thin.
Holy shit, does that game love to fucking crash over and over and over and over.
Also, why does it crash?
So I thought it was flux, the thing I used to dim my screen.
No.
I thought it was the 60 FPS mode.
I thought it was the letterbox.
Nah.
It's just random.
It just crashes randomly.
You look at a message board and it says game just crashes randomly.
Game just crashes all the time.
I even got a crash in the PS4 version.
Awesome.
Once, but random.
Awesome.
It just happened.
So if the PC version is crashing, crashing, that's like...
So for stability reasons, we're actually switching over and I got to play through the whole
game up until we're on the PS4 version.
And it's a real shame because the PC version just without the black bars looks so much better.
Yeah, it looks way better.
It's a little bad because you guys had such a rough night with that and we had a perfect
night of recording because it went so smoothly and just got an extra game in there.
That's how it is.
And I kind of hate evil with it now so it'll be interesting to see what those episodes look
like because if that game crashes again...
You hate it because of the crashing.
Oh yeah.
No, I was actually really enjoying it.
It's the better half of the game.
But I'm going to be really pissy on episode 7 when we record it.
Which will be just me because I miss some stuff.
Playing stuff, you.
Playing stuff.
Yeah, that's all I did for playing stuff.
I did watch one extra thing that hasn't been brought up.
I watched all of Bojack Horseman.
Yeah.
Back in the 90s.
It has come to the point.
Seattle Grunge Show.
Where I was out.
This is the decade we are in.
Other than it's fantastic, all I really have to say is that I have gotten to the point with
Bojack that a friend of mine, we were out and he was helping me with groceries and he
just ran off and came back and just shoved a tub of sour cream in my face.
And I just completely lost it.
I can't even look at sour cream without laughing now.
Yeah.
That is the funniest, like, weird slapstick makeup gag I have ever seen in anything.
I keep forgetting his name.
Aaron Paul?
Aaron Paul.
Jesse Pinkerman.
Yeah.
I'm really happy to see him becoming an actor, I guess.
Even though his movie was garbage.
You always think that someone has an iconic role like that.
After that, they'll go nowhere.
You're done.
Yeah, you're done.
And then here it's like, no, he plays a great fucking bummed out roommate.
It's just, oh god.
Oh, now I'm a part of it.
That's a really underrated character in Bojack.
Like, you think it's all about Bojack, but like, he's only as good as the characters
at Serrana.
Of Mad Kudos to Penn Oswald for playing Charlie.
Yeah, the penguin.
No, not just the penguin.
He plays the penguin, but he also plays Miss Princess's new assistant, the gecko.
Oh yeah, that gecko.
And where he's like, oh god, am I blowing this?
You're talking about her new boyfriend.
The three children stack up.
So you know, honestly, and besides that, and the really heavy moments that come out of
nowhere.
Boy, the end of episode 10 or something, I'm just sitting there having a horrible existential
crisis about myself.
And it's just like, oh.
Yeah.
But I find that shows like that are great for when you catch up on Archer.
And then you just like, I need something else.
Because it's fast.
It's easy.
It's down the gullet.
Yeah, a second season coming too.
Yep, totally signed on.
And I hope that they make fun of everyone else that turned them down.
Yeah.
Because apparently they were shipping it around for a while.
I don't doubt it, because it's a weird show that I wouldn't pick up.
I was an industry guy.
I'm not sure if I'd want to see the continuing adventures.
I'd like to see a prequel of like, you know, when they go in the back of the cast.
Horsing around.
Like, I like to see a horse, a whole horse around section.
Because it's like, I don't know how much can you pull out the washed up star for another
12 episodes?
I think you think that you want that.
But I don't think you actually want that.
Because I think that horse and around shit is hilarious in bursts.
And with mystery.
And that one super trippy fucking episode addresses a lot of that stuff anyway.
Oh, I forgot.
I bought a PlayStation TV.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Picked one up and, you know, set it up.
How you liking it?
Well, I gave it to the girlfriend for now.
Yeah.
I set it up.
I played the stuff and I'm like, this works with everything I have.
Cool.
Here you go.
Try some persona.
Like, that's, it's the weirdest thing in the world.
When are you going to play fucking Virtus.
Last Roard?
Yeah, you're the, the slates.
Well, that's the question now.
Because here's the thing.
There's no games to play right now.
Because the 3DS version, which has issues that crippling save bugs.
Don't play that.
Don't play that version.
Okay.
I remember you telling me it had no voice acting and it does.
It does.
It does.
Yeah.
The Vita version does too.
They both do.
The Vita version is better.
It's the better version.
So in every way and doesn't have bugs that erase your save game.
How likely is it that you're going to run into that issue?
Incredibly.
Do you just play the video?
There are several rooms that if you save in them, your save file is destroyed.
Unless you read about the issues and you avoid them.
And you only have a single save file on the 3DS version.
Why are you struggling to convince yourself not to play the better version?
No, no, no.
I'm asking because the girlfriend already started VLR and is in the middle of it.
Okay.
So I need to know what to warn her about.
Nothing.
No.
If she's on the Vita version?
The 3DS version.
She's on the 3DS version?
Yes.
What's your letter?
We didn't have a Vita at the time and she just got to save one.
Then you go to GavFax and you look up what rooms kill the game.
Okay.
Because that'll kill it for her.
Because I also would rather be able to play it on the go.
Will you buy a Vita?
No.
I mean, you just gave me my Vita back.
Yeah.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Also, VLR, not super great on the go.
What?
I disagree.
I thought it was fine on the go.
Well, you hate handhelds.
It's true.
I do hate it.
And I like 999 on the go a lot.
But like it has voice acting and the sound quality takes a really bad hit on the 3DS.
And the visuals just look better on the Vita.
Yeah, especially on the TV.
P to 540.
Like it just looks a lot better.
Yeah.
I don't think, I don't think we're going to buy a Vita to play that.
But he has one.
He has one.
He has a Vita TV.
He has the PlayStation TV.
See, he wasn't, he wasn't playing on the go.
No, I know.
I know.
If the bugs are the only real thing.
No, the bugs are, there's the bugs.
The game looks worse.
It sounds worse.
And you don't get multiple save slots, which considering the bug is actually like compounds
the problem.
I wouldn't play it because I'm terrified of that bug.
It's your save gone.
And you got to replay a visual novel.
Okay.
With adventure elements.
I think that bug was fine if they had ever patched it.
Yeah.
Which they didn't.
That is like, what?
Well, because it only happened in the English version if I remember right.
Yeah.
And the development team was long gone by that time.
Like they died.
Yeah.
I had a weird place with VLR.
I got lost the way through that game.
And then like thought I knew what the ending was and then stopped.
And that was like a year and a half ago.
Yeah.
When Woolly picks it up, you got to pick it up.
And I was like, I was asking people on Gaff, like what do you do when you're that far
into a long ass visual novel?
I'm like 20 hours into that game.
Yeah.
I don't remember what happened room to room.
Yeah.
Read a synopsis.
There are 30 plus different timelines in that game.
Like fuck.
Yeah.
Even read a synopsis.
I'll probably have to just like skim through every path until I remember what's going on.
Sure.
Yeah.
But I was, I just want to say like the Vita TV is this weird thing where it's not like,
yeah, I got a console.
It's like, no, not at all.
I have a solution.
Yeah.
To a usability problem.
And that's what it is.
And that's what I was going to say.
It's like, hey, how'd you like it?
It's like, well, I plugged it in and it worked.
And I was like, okay.
And then I turned it off.
You know, like it'll be used when it's going to be used.
Like I would have been just as happy if the fucking Vita 3000 or whatever just had a TV out in it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Actually, no, I'm happier with this because I prefer the controller.
But still.
How about both?
Sega Nomad.
Why not both?
Sega Nomad was a fucking piece of shit.
Except for that part.
Except for that part.
But you can use the wall adapter and then it's just a Genesis.
Yeah.
But the problem with the Sega Nomads, I played on the go and the game on the box was comic
zone.
Yeah.
So even with like, what, fucking A double A's or whatever you put in that shit.
You still didn't have enough power to beat comic zone.
That game is like 80 minutes long.
Also, did you know that X-Men is uncompletable on the Nomad?
No, I didn't know that.
But why would you want to play that game?
Because X-Men 1 on Genesis is actually pretty good.
Was it actually?
I'm confusing it with one of the Super Nintendo ones.
Yeah, X-Men 1 on the Genesis is pretty good.
X-Men 2 on the Genesis is fantastic.
But it has a stupid thing where you have to reset the game to beat it.
It's awesome.
But like, yeah.
It's really awesome.
That stumped me for like a decade.
I didn't know.
I would turn the fucking system off.
And there was no cert back then which would say, what are you doing?
No, they probably saw it and were like, this is awesome.
So.
This is innovation, right?
Some shit happened this week.
No.
Nothing happened.
Shit happens.
Shit happened this week.
I'm not going to lie.
I was kind of scrounging because there's the big stories and then there's the nothing.
Yeah.
There's the hole that they create.
Hey, here's some nothing.
Apparently Assassin's Creed runs like shit on PC.
Oh yeah, that's that.
I know that's not news.
That is nothing.
But like, fuck Ubisoft.
Is that because the requirements are too high?
Yeah.
Okay.
It's PC.
It's CPU limited.
And like, even then it's poorly optimized and people are like, this game runs like shit.
Like a guy has like a one grade down video card for mine, which is somewhat good.
And he's like, I'm averaging maybe 30 FPS.
We're so bipolar on that.
Fuck.
Because we literally jumped from like, oh my God, how God like is this thing.
Because that's the company.
And that's how big they are.
Yeah.
And it's like, guess what?
I bought Unity on PS4.
Because I knew that their PC port of that game was going to be dog shit.
Yeah.
Well, what did I ask you guys yesterday?
You're like, oh yeah, Unity's coming out.
And I was like, shit.
Do I have to pre-order that to get China?
No.
How do I get China?
That's a season pass separate downloadable thing.
What do I do?
You don't.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're right.
That's non-news.
But there is actually Ubisoft news that then became non-news and then became news again
with their fucking Steam you play shit.
Yeah, weird stuff.
Other games disappeared off of the UK version of Steam.
And it's gone.
All Far Cry and Assassin's Creed Unity.
Like this happened to Unity like three days before the fucking game comes out.
And there was another one.
I forget.
It's upcoming Ubisoft games, right?
And then we were like, this has to be a weird UK bug on Steam Store.
And then it disappeared off of everywhere.
All of Steam.
Every Steam Store.
And the explanation that Ubisoft gave was that Valve is telling us to price it a certain
way and we don't want to, which is not true.
Like Valve lets you price it any way, any which way.
Well, as far as we know, because like I know Woolly and I know that like, yeah.
They will pressure you.
There's some stuff behind the scenes.
They'll talk to you.
And then they came back on everywhere but the UK.
Yeah.
And Far Cry and Unity are still gone.
And this reminds me so much of when the tipping point or when Origin happened, which was EA
said, we want you to have to buy your DLC through the in-game Origin app.
And then Valve said, no, you buy your fucking DLC for your Steam game through Steam fuckers.
Well, they were cutting out Valve's percentage by then.
Yeah.
It's total bullshit.
And like I can like UK, like maybe there's some kind of weird legal thing.
There's no, there's like when things like that happen, oftentimes it's very much politics
happening behind the scenes.
But all it makes me think of is just like, as a somebody who prefers to play games on
the PC primarily, maybe the PS4, it's like, fuck Ubisoft, there's never anything good on
like everything they ever do on the PC is a disaster, except for Far Cry 3.
That's the good one.
So not everything they ever do on the PC is a disaster.
Except for that one.
But like, what was that game from Just?
You should write for a website.
What was that game from Just?
The one where you played The God?
That game was a broken pile of shit.
Watch Dogs runs like fucking garbage.
Unity.
Did Outland get ported?
Yeah.
How's Outland on PC?
Outland.
I think it's, I think it's okay.
Think you're a good platformer.
I think it's okay.
Outland.
I haven't actually put the hands on that.
Okay.
So definitely confirmed not everything Ubisoft does on PC is garbage.
99% of it.
A lot anyway.
A lot of it.
The important games.
I was going to run fast.
And usually what they do, I'm shocked that Unity's coming out simultaneously.
Because usually they give you...
It's like they say it's going to come out day and day.
And then the week beforehand they delay it by two weeks.
Because piracy.
Or whatever.
Right.
Right.
Right.
I was going to actually just roll right into, you know, the biggest thing being fucking Majora's Mask 3D.
This is like the biggest surprise.
The biggest not surprise.
In the world.
But it's not even a surprise.
But I don't get hype.
I get relieved.
Yeah.
I'm shocked.
You know, I had a grip with that.
It'll finally give me a chance to maybe appreciate it.
Because when I played that game originally I hated it.
But I think that's because I was a stupid kid.
When I was watching the Nintendo Direct and it started I was like, oh good Majora's Mask.
And like that was my everything.
Oh good.
That's fine.
And I immediately went open new tab.
Google calendar.
Majora's Mask 3D.
There you go.
And it's like, can't wait to buy that.
I gotta say, Plague pointed something out right away and he's totally right.
The moon.
The nose looks wrong.
The nose looks wrong man.
It's too big.
It's too weird.
Are you going to do this?
Are you going to be like this?
A lot of the art changed and the moon looks weird.
It looks weird.
It looks good.
It's just that the moon has been so iconically used in the moon.
It's there.
Everyone knows what it looks like.
It's menacing in a very specific way.
And I don't think that moon that they have there is the one that they use in Hyrule Warriors.
The one in Hyrule Warriors looks a lot like the original moon.
Or it looks like the one that's in Melee or something.
So it's a bit strange that they decided to change that.
But that's so nothing.
A lot of the art in the game has changed.
Yeah.
Just like in Ocarina of Time 3D, a lot of the art was changed.
Well there's a couple of videos where they have the left and right comparisons for you.
So you can go see exactly what each shot in the trailer looked like.
Oh really cool.
On the original version.
The rainbows.
The rainbow color anymore.
What's up with that?
Of course the animations are much more fluid and things like that.
That's all good and fine.
But I just hope they don't go too far out with that.
Because certain things like the terror of putting the mask on.
And those animations are like you've got to make it.
Don't tone that down.
Don't mess that up.
Well I remember in Anuma's big thing you wrote about.
The main thing is that we always want to keep this centered around Majora's mask.
Back then it was like this and now it's like this.
A Zelda with a scary vibe.
Yes.
Like that was the brief then.
But I find it weird that he's like there's a bunch of new features.
I hope to tell you more about these.
What are the new features?
Do you know why I think why?
Because there's a new feature where it's like you play the game normally.
Oh.
You know what I mean?
It's an optional.
Or maybe.
It works hell of good for Fire Emblem.
Like.
What do you mean?
Like casual shit.
Well I mean play the game normally and you don't actually have three lines.
Yeah.
Without the time element.
Without the time element.
Or it'd be like an unblockable thing after you beat it once.
Like hero mode.
I'm just crossing fingers for fierce deity.
Playable the entire game.
Outside of the boss fights.
Oh yeah.
There's no way.
Yeah.
There's no way you'll get that because that's what everyone wants.
Just cross your fingers.
There's a bug there.
There's a bug.
I hope that still works.
Yes.
There's a bug where you can roll out of the second boss fight.
And you can straight up use fierce deity on the map.
It fucks up the game of course.
But who cares.
Yeah exactly.
And the title screen.
Remember how they had that really low FPS spinning mask creepy thing?
Like I wouldn't mind seeing them mess with stuff like that.
You know like just some of the effects.
Yeah I'm excited.
Can't wait to see how that looks exactly.
Yeah.
Something that was not.
Like Pat said not a surprise to anyone.
Just a relief.
Just a relief.
I think I'm fucked with these directs because I go in them and all I want to hear is one
thing and I never get the one thing that I want anything.
That's the one thing.
Where's SMT times Fire Emblem?
Yeah that's development.
I mean.
But that's it.
I'm not trying to you know that's just it.
Because you asked me before the night before it went up it was like what are your predictions
and I was like hopefully they show that.
I don't even want it now.
I just want to know what it is.
You don't want it really.
Well no I mean I want to know what it is way more than I want it.
When I think about it how many Nintendo titles have been announced and have videos and like
a title and stuff and then they get cancelled.
The only one I can think of right now is fucking the greatest title of all.
Project Hammer.
That's the only one.
Project Hammer.
Project Raven.
Raven Blade.
Raven Blade.
Yeah that's but I kind of liken that to like that was made by Retro and.
Dead Phoenix.
That's Captain.
That's Captain.
That's Captain.
What a great name for a cancelled game.
Because Nintendo has cancelled probably thousands of titles but you never know about it.
Yeah there was a DS one.
Dinosaur Planet.
No.
The what should we call it the one thing that was going on that I completely I guess I
just ignored it the first time and then the second time they showed the footage.
I'm like yeah Project Steam man.
Yeah.
Project Steam looks cool.
I'm not super into the art like.
I hate the art.
I think it looks so bad.
I think it's cool because it reminds me of Freedom Force.
It reminds me of the other Lost Planet 3.
Extroopers.
Extroopers.
Okay yeah.
It reminds me of that and I liked seeing them running around but then they get into a fight
and then the tactic squares appear on the map.
That's cool.
The game looks really fun.
I'm excited.
Like I'll play anything by Intelligent Systems.
Unless they make another fucking bullshit Paper Mario because that was like unforgivable.
Unforgivable.
Wow.
I really hope Sticker Star is terrible.
Unforgivable.
Sticker Star is a blight.
It is a ruination of the series.
Me and Liam agreeing on a hyper negative.
That's how bad Sticker Star is.
Unforgivable.
Sorry.
Project Steam looks great though.
Yeah.
I'm not super into the art but it looks really good.
I'm fine with it man.
Man there was that weird moment in that like gameplay demonstration where fucking Bill
Trinen is like having to explain to you what the term overwatch means.
Like I know what overwatch is Bill.
You guys didn't invent it.
Yeah.
That was the tone on that was just super weird.
Like and we're getting a new feature called overwatch.
Like you mean the feature that's in every single one of these games.
I think there might be more people watching the director than you.
Yeah.
I don't know.
I just think.
I'm not even like.
Imagine if he did explain it.
It would be way worse.
No.
Wouldn't it be super obvious.
No.
Not to like 90% of the people watching a Nintendo direct.
You know either way.
Well I just mean it's like it's standard for that genre.
Yeah.
It's like it's like putting out a Nintendo puts out like a call of duty game and like
and now we have a feature called aiming down the sights.
Yeah.
Okay.
That's a little more.
And it's what.
It's true.
And like also I thought you were going to say him talking about like Abe Lincoln.
It's like.
Abe Lincoln joins the brawl.
They made sure to throw off to Bill for that one.
But what is not going to stand there and try to say that name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's one of the things I'm not huge on in that game.
I don't really like when like stuff uses real people that are.
No.
I just think it's great.
Because Conduit 2 ruined it for everything.
No.
I think it's great.
Just something about that.
And then they have what was the kid's name.
I can't remember the kid's name.
Not Huck Finn.
But.
The other guy Tom Sawyer.
Tom Sawyer.
Tom Sawyer in it.
And I'm just like.
I think it's cool.
Because it just makes me think of Nobunaga.
But it's our version of that.
I know.
I know.
Exactly.
Which has not been done to death.
No.
It hasn't.
You're totally right.
I think my favorite thing in the direct is the Amiibos for sure.
Because the Amiibos was the thing where like.
What else is going to happen besides smash.
Yeah.
Because like I think I asked you guys this question like after they were first announced is what
the fuck am I going to do with my Captain Falcon Amiibo after smash.
Throw it in the garbage.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So you're never going to get another F-Zero.
Apparently if you have Link you just get a cool weapon in Hyrule Warriors.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The most expensive weapon DLC ever produced.
Yeah.
It's $13 for the shit spinner.
This spinner is amazing.
But anyway.
Or if you really want to play F-Zero you just fucking put the me costume on.
Get the car.
Play the DLC.
Get the car.
Play the stage.
F-Zero.
Yeah.
And play it with tears in your eyes.
Yeah.
You have F-Zero now.
You have it.
No.
Just singing big blue while you're crying.
I definitely hope.
City number two.
I definitely hope they like.
Don't worry.
I really hope that like you know I don't think they will.
I think this is just like last minute implementation of Amiibos.
But I hope we don't get any more bullshit like the spinner thing where it's just DLC
locked behind a figure.
Like there's no.
There's no.
There's nothing about the amiibo that inherently.
No.
See that's the trick man.
You keep doing it.
Then it'll be associated with the amiibo.
Of course.
I assume that if you have Hyrule Warriors you probably have Smash and if you're interested
in amiibos you just have the link thing.
Oh definitely.
I think that's the only reason why they even have it.
That's the only reason why I'm like okay with it too is because there's other reasons
to own the link amiibo.
Yeah.
Other than just that.
Yeah.
I saw a picture of Bart standing at the counter where you're getting your birthday Sunday
and then there's the big poster in the background for the birthday Sunday.
It's this massive thing.
And the guy puts the little mini Sunday in front of him and Bart's just like oh and
it's called Bart buys an amiibo.jpg.
Wow.
Yeah.
That's really good.
Oh those bases don't look good.
No.
They look rough.
Why is Zelda shitting a big purple dildo?
Why is Diddy pissing?
Why is Luigi just not able to hold himself up?
Why is there a big fucking stick up Captain Falcon's ass?
Well.
And this all just loops around to Nintendo.
If you kind of knew, why did you feel so compelled to use the Smash art for this?
Why?
Because they look terrible.
And totally right.
You're completely right.
Why show off these super good ones if you're not going to.
Here's what I'm expecting.
Here's what I think.
I think they made them with a thin base.
Because that base tech has been known for years.
People in fucking square, our square inch figures and Revoltex and shit like that have
been doing that for a while.
They know how to make a thin base that looks good.
It's simple.
But they're like kids are going to get these and break them.
Yeah.
So we need durability.
I think it's the same thing as like well we fucked up with the initial run of Weemotes
where we didn't think people were this stupid.
So I bet.
And they threw the Weemotes at their shit.
Yeah.
So let's ruin the figures.
So the artist finished his job and handed them over.
And then they get a functionality guy.
And that guy went look we got to add a base over here.
The structures too.
The weak and technical.
And then the artist is you know.
The city is bullshit.
You just snap it out of the cap.
You know.
It sucks.
Because Lil Mac.
Peach beats a giant fucking purple poo dick thing.
Yeah.
I'm glad that Lil Mac is the one that's really fine.
Yeah.
Lil Mac is like the only one that really.
But there's another one like Mario or something who's fine.
That's fucked up.
Lil Mac and those guys look way better than the other Amoebos.
So what would you rather would you have one half Captain Falcon doing an awesome kick?
Would you rather just have him do the salute and being like that's a more iconic Captain
Falcon pose.
That's why I think Willie's explanation of how this happened is so much more likely.
Because if there was an art and functionality discussion then that would have happened.
You wouldn't have gotten the kick.
The stance.
And then the stand.
My my thing is way more drastic and I would have preferred straight up like an enclosed
block.
Yeah.
Like a bubble.
Where you see no fucking stand.
Yeah.
And it's just they're in there.
It's like how they shipped Ganondorf in Europe.
Is that how it.
Yeah.
They put a bubble over it.
They put a bubble over it.
Wow.
Okay.
Just a cube that they're in.
Yeah.
And it's and it's balanced inside.
And it's thick glass.
I know.
I totally prefer that.
That's my solution.
Like that.
No.
Exactly.
Of course.
Yeah.
I was like the ones I'm keeping on my order are the ones that are actually good looking
and the only two other ones are Lincoln Fox.
I'm only buying Little Max so I really don't care.
Sure.
I'm buying none of them until they put the amiibo game out whatever the amiibo game
is.
The inevitable amiibo game.
Yeah.
Like because I think Nintendo like I think Skylanders is kind of like awesome for what
it is.
The concept is great.
But I think Nintendo has the ability with their first party staff to actually make that game
fucking awesome.
If there was some sort of action like like yes Skylanders type thing with the simple
character.
Infinity whatever.
Two point on Marvel.
You can just like it doesn't even have to be good.
No.
Like just an action game where I can play as Marth and Little Max.
Have Black Legends.
Have Black Legends.
Do a character action game with five levels and every amiibo is a playable character.
Like Ultimate Alliance or X-Men Legends but like Nintendo Legends.
Yeah.
That's the kind of game I want.
I mean fucking anything is like a Nintendo warrior.
But when I say I'm buying the Little Max like I'm at the point where it's like if you can
introduce or show me like an eBay for a statue of Little Max somewhere.
I won't buy the amiibo.
Yeah.
I just want a Little Max toy.
There's no fucking Little Max.
Exactly.
That's why I think it's super weird that all of these are coming out way way way way ahead
of whatever that amiibo game is.
Well because you know what they're coming out in time for.
Holiday 2014.
Yeah.
And they managed to retrofit amiibos into a lot of games actually in time.
The weirdest thing about the whole Nintendo Direct was like we're going to add so Captain
Toad comes out in what does it say?
And Kirby.
And we're going to add amiibo support to Captain Toad in five months.
Retrofit that shit.
Like what?
That's so weird.
But at the same time if this kind of dedication to these figures continues that's great because
I have the Skylanders base set because I just wanted to try it and like there's no use
for these things other than Skylanders.
Yeah.
And it's like.
Well they just have to like all I'm saying is like these amiibo features have to come
out day one in the game.
And in the future I'm sure they will.
That's crazy.
At the very least in conjunction with some type of DLC for that game like oh we're adding
like this piece of content with amiibos because if Captain Toad doesn't get any DLC or add-ons
of any kind are you going to five months later have you be the angle oh yeah now I can slap
Mario into the fucking this.
Now I can put a Mario hat on Toad.
I think Captain Toad is my favorite Mario character.
Wow.
From now on.
Nintendo's most bold new IP.
I fucking love Captain Toad.
The concept kicks so much ass because he's not a Nintendo character.
Mario character.
I didn't say Nintendo character.
Oh you said Mario character.
I'm specifying Mario character because she's the second character anyway.
Because like from now on whenever you guys make fun of me for like in Toads it's like
no it's Captain Toad.
Yeah.
That's my view.
I love that.
You need to just switch it around to be a cool guy.
So used.
It's not my fault they made it cool.
It's great.
Like Pat I totally agree that like the amiibo game that is inevitable and that is probably
holiday 2015 is going to be pretty cool for me.
That game has a lot of potential and will actually get me interested in the quote unquote
toys to life category.
Absolutely.
But it's like at the same time.
Hey.
Hey.
Star Fox came out.
You have the Star Fox.
Like he's going to be able to do something grab your amiibo drop your fucking character
into Splatoon.
Well sure.
Well for me the one that I'm really hoping for speaking of which Mario party you better
fucking be able to play.
Yeah.
So like I can't play as little Mac and Marth on that board game.
That's it.
You talk about like and I think it's my biggest problem in the amiibos and it's always going
to be.
It's like you talk about hey the new Star Fox came out and you have Fox right.
That's not what I want.
Yeah.
I have the new Star Fox came out slap link down.
That's what I want.
Slap little Mac down.
Exactly.
And you get a little Mac our way like shit like that just the big boxing glove in the
sky.
Yeah.
Like oh there's a Samus thing with this with the Metroid like better get Metroid.
Yeah.
You should have just put that in.
How about the fucking like that's what Mario Kart's at least doing.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
They have all these other characters.
I was blown away because I know about that Mario Kart DLC but not really.
So when I saw all of it in action I'm like that's only half of it.
It's fucking smash.
It's smashed.
And that's awesome.
Yeah.
That's what I want.
No complaints.
I really hope for Mario Kart that they continue to add more amiibo characters because like
little Mac wasn't in there.
Pit wasn't in there.
Like yeah.
Like maybe I'm insane but I think that every single amiibo should work with every single
amiibo game.
I think right now I don't have that complaint like that because they're so far behind already.
Exactly.
But like Mario Kart I hope they like retroactively put everyone in and then Mario Party and
I feel bad for the kids.
Sorry.
I'd say that any game that has some type of multiplayer component like let's say Star
Fox.
Well I don't expect to get a little Mac R-Wing in the single player.
There's some type of deathmatch.
Yeah.
It'd be cool to just be able to be you know a little Mac in the multiplayer game.
Even if it's just little like Avatar icon.
Like just but just anything to let me use it in every new thing.
Every game.
Yeah.
Because that really makes the amiibos cool.
The weirder the better.
Yeah.
The weirder the better for sure.
Like they're like your striker that'll come help you.
Yeah exactly.
Because like the idea that Nintendo looks at Smash and realizes that crossing over its
franchises is literally the coolest thing it can do.
Yeah.
Like they should do they should let you cross over all of them.
Incestuous Nintendo.
Yeah.
That's right.
Do it.
Do it.
Splatoon looks great.
I'm really happy they're single player.
I'm super glad.
When I thought it was just what it was at E3 it's just those multiplayer maps.
And when it showed that single player I'm like we were talking about the blob not too
long ago that like the single player now is like an actual full-fledged blob.
Emotentical dudes.
I'm way more excited about that because of the single player.
Yeah.
Because it actually looks like a legit thing.
Well what I remember I was saying to Liam I was like if it was just a multiplayer it
probably would have died a lot quicker like it would just come out and not really live
that long.
Oh it's going to die within a fucking week no matter what.
And it was going to say if it wasn't.
When I said it was the only reason this game is going to have any measure of success is
because Nintendo's name is on the box.
If it wasn't it would have been the box.
Like people are only going to buy it half the time.
You know what?
If the multiplayer you could play as Mac maybe would have been more successful.
Yeah exactly.
Online third-person multiplayer shooter on the Wii U like that has a lifespan of maybe nine
days.
But you surf inside the ink.
Yeah which is why now that it's going to have a single player it might actually be worth
money because that's going to become a brick like two weeks after that game comes out.
I don't know.
I think if all the airpads should do big numbers in the way that at least for Nintendo published
titles there'll be at least a good community of people that are like okay I'm done with
Smash for a bit let me check out this competitive thing.
Where's my inkling in the e-bow?
Well look look I bought three.
That's actually a really good question.
Like I'm actually I wish it was non-smashable.
If they wanted to make those characters like even like they actually have quite a bit of
like play on the internet at the very least people do be allowed to keep the art of them.
I mean there's trophies right?
Thank you for starting that.
Isn't there?
Is that an inkling trophy?
I think so.
Yeah there's an inkling trophy.
I think I remember seeing it because I had commander videos in there.
Yeah commander videos in there.
That's awesome.
Commander video and Rayman are really awesome.
Yeah I really feel like they're out of place.
Commander video I don't think is odd.
Rayman's still odd because it's like hey look at this character that fucked us on Rayman
Legends.
How great is this guy?
I think commander videos are weird.
You know Pac-Man's in there.
Snake was in there.
The only trophy you could pour acid on.
Dr. Wright was in there.
Yeah he was.
From Simpsons City and he was an assist trophy.
Exactly.
Yeah.
Nintendo had something to do with that one.
They should have the old guy with the banjo from the Phalanx.
From the Phalanx?
Phalanx guy.
Wow.
He's probably got a name.
That's a fucking poll.
That's a poll.
Is it?
Yeah it's Nintendo.
He's the most iconic Nintendo character there's ever been.
I really I really um no I think Splatoon's gonna be like fun.
Yeah.
And then I just wanted to bring up the fact that like that direct came on and then I just
went and I bought three eShop games like immediately and just kind of was like using the Wii more
but you know and I feel like yeah.
And then you really stopped.
Yeah well we'll see what happens.
Well I think the weirdest dumbest thing and Liam already knows is that what where why.
Why is there known localization of Fatal Frame 5.
Where is Fatal Frame 5.
I remember seeing people going well of course not it's sexy ladies and like sexuality.
They know just came out.
Why would Nintendo not publish it.
And I go yeah then I write goes back to playing betting attitude which only Nintendo would
publish.
I guess I guess what it is is that like I don't have an HDMI splitter so I have to get up and
switch my cord from I literally bought one of those today.
Okay.
I'm really excited to get home.
Yeah.
And for the last couple days it's just been sitting in the Wii U as opposed to any other
console.
Whatever is not plugged in stays unplugged for a while.
You know what I mean.
Yeah.
I needed space for the Vita TV so I unplugged the 360.
Yeah.
No my 360 is completely unplugged as well.
Mine too.
Yeah.
I'm like it's it's the power plug is out also to make room on my my outlets.
No need.
And oh yeah I should probably mention that the I was daisy chaining a third power bar
in my in my outlet thing and then had that moment where I was plugging it in and was like
no I just looked at it for a second and was like didn't my childhood tell me something
about this.
I feel like this is a bad thing and then I looked it up and like every single thing
that I read was like don't daisy chain power bars.
Yeah.
You're not even supposed to have two power bars in the same set of outlets.
Not at all.
I need 13 things.
Me too.
Yeah.
So I looked online you know they sell those they sell I'll give you a link.
They sell fucking power bars that have 12 outlets on them and six of them are on the
sides and they're super wide because I was looking at the HDMI splitter.
Yeah.
And I looked at a guy's review and he's like OK so I checked the power measure of this
HDMI splitter.
It uses one amp.
Why does it have this giant power brick plug that fucks up my power bar.
If it uses a single amp it doesn't need this.
You could just use a regular outlet.
But like oh yeah I got an HDMI splitter.
Sure.
Going back to it though it's like I'm really like I don't understand what the deal is with
Fatal Frame and Tecmo and Nintendo.
Whenever someone ever asked them Tecmo goes ask Nintendo.
And they look like spirit camera.
I don't know.
Like if they don't fucking announce it at some point like we're going to have to be forced
to buy a Japanese Wii U to play Fatal Frame 5 for like a shit storm 4.
Yeah.
Or something.
Definitely.
It's a real bummer.
I don't know the only other thing in that direct that I really liked it was a it was a I fucking
hate you too.
I like you moment when Miyamoto walked out in front of a Pikmin background and I was like
oh you must have your heart must have fucking.
We're doing this.
We're actually doing this.
And he's showing off the shirt.
And he's got his Pikmin shirt.
And he starts like script walking all over the fucking stage.
Yeah.
Why would you think he would announce something new when you knew those shorts were coming.
We never knew they were coming to consoles.
Never know.
It was his.
I know a little bit.
Why would you jump to thinking.
It was his Garou Pachinko moment.
Yeah.
Because it was my Garou Pachinko moment.
Okay.
I just want Pikmin for a while.
That is fucking karma mother fucker.
No it is.
Like right away.
You were right away.
Liam was hugging his three little Pikmin while he was watching.
No I wasn't.
I was like listening.
Everybody shut up.
I was listening.
That kind of listening.
So I get that now.
That's like some guy coming out on a Capcom stage.
This is a gigantic background of like Final Fight 7 Suns.
Yeah.
And then they just start talking about Monster Hunter or some bullshit.
Yeah.
So.
I'd be really happy about that.
Yeah.
It starts talking about the features of the Pikmin Pachinko machine.
Yeah.
But I don't know.
I bought those shorts.
I watched them.
They were cute.
Fucking like on screen deaths.
Just right in front of the camera.
Yeah.
Holy shit.
Like Smash Bros.
Emissary.
Yeah.
Like the ghost dying.
Fucking killing Pikmin on screen.
Pikmin are dark.
This is dark.
I don't believe like subhuman is too kind.
They're basically insects.
Yeah.
But they're plants actually.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're pretty cute.
They're pretty cute.
If you really like Pikmin, it's worth six bucks.
If you don't like Pikmin, it's not worth any of your six bucks.
They will not convert you.
Yeah.
Exactly.
They will not convert you.
I'm like you love Pikmin, but you also love Captain Falcon, the notorious murderer of Pikmin.
Yeah.
Exactly.
So what the fuck, Lynn?
I know.
It sucks.
Well, if Little Mac came around and just, I don't know, killed Samus.
Little Mac would never do that because they're going out.
I know they love each other.
They're cheating.
But if they did, you'd still like Little Mac.
Exactly.
You don't just hate a guy for killing someone.
I'd respect that.
No, no.
You kill the fucking space value.
Little Mac would get a free pass if he killed Samus and Samus was at the top of the screen
and it was a punch out battle.
Right.
Because that would get shooting at him and he's dodging, dodging.
Little Mac killed Donkey Kong.
Yeah.
I was just thinking about that.
What?
Imagine there's a new...
He out-boxed Donkey Kong.
Well, he didn't kill him.
He just knocked him out.
No, no, no.
Imagine if they have a new punch out and you're punching out Mario.
Yeah.
And then you can use your amiibos there too.
I don't think they want to have Mario looking beat up in black eye.
Well, maybe not Mario, but then Captain Falcon in the video.
Yeah.
Okay, when a punch out for the Wii came out and they said there was a Nintendo character
and I was like, Captain Falcon's in it.
That's it.
Captain Falcon's the last guy.
No, I was so disappointed.
Yeah.
But that kind of makes sense because that's the least fair fight ever.
It totally makes sense.
Okay.
When he knows that, it's like...
It's like, hi, I'm Daisy.
It's just...
What?
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Punch, punch, punch.
Ding, ding, ding.
Oh, oh.
You're making me want to throw a punch out back into the Wii U.
I've been re-playing it.
It's great.
No, fantastic.
Fantastic.
When are we going to get a punch out too?
Come on.
I think it's probably going to happen.
Punch out sold really well.
It sold really well.
Like, that's probably my...
It performed really well.
Like, this is going to sound blasphemous.
I think that's my favorite Nintendo game of the entire last generation.
Honestly, when you pop it in and press start and the new theme is playing, and it's better
than the old punch out theme, which is impossible.
You know you're almost something good.
Yeah.
The fuck, man.
And like, that game was just brilliant because it was like a combination of every punch out.
It was like the classic little Mac that people all prefer.
It was like some of the systems of...
A little backstory for the guys you're boxing.
The characters from Super Punch Out.
Yeah.
That bonus shit of like, do special conditions.
That's like, it's the best.
Absolutely best.
And the new guys they introduce are fine too.
Yeah, there's only one new guy.
There's only one new guy.
And he's the worst guy actually.
No, the fucking, the black guy?
Disco Kid is the worst guy.
Disco Kid is the only one there.
He's not as bad as I...
Like, Disco Kid's fine.
I love Disco Kid.
And whatever.
Aaron Ryan?
No, no.
Aaron Ryan is garbage and Super Punch Out, but they gave him way more personality stuff.
I was gonna say how.
Aaron Ryan's super cool in Disco Kid.
I like Disco Kid.
But his personality is like, shit.
I think the Canadian guys really fall back.
It's just that when I think Disco Boxer, I think of all the Punch Out ripoffs instead of Punch Out.
But anyway, and then you fucking go, you go through, you win and then title defense mode is unlocked.
That's when the game starts.
What?
Yeah.
So good.
I just lost.
I just got my ass kicked by Glass Joe.
When you see Glass Joe with his gear on, you're like, oh yeah.
Remember, there's an achievement in that game?
If you beat Glass Joe the first time on title defense, did anyone lose against him the first time?
I lost.
Yeah.
They put achievement like, you win it because you're not expecting the whole title defense.
Yeah, exactly.
That's great.
So yeah, that was the direct.
Other things going on in the Nintendo verse, I suppose.
I'll touch your fucking feet, man.
Can I say one more thing about the direct?
It's a shame that we're still in catch-up mode on the Wii U games where they announced all their Wii U games way too early.
Like in hindsight, it's even more desperate than I thought it was back then.
But you're totally right.
We're still in catch-up mode.
X was announced a million years too early and SMT was announced two million years too early.
That's a damage if you do damage if you don't.
If they didn't announce it, then those directs or whatever those announcements would have been nothing.
No, you're totally correct.
That's why it's good to have third parties.
But also it just goes back over and over of like they should have been making these games and these games should have been done when the system came out.
Like what was Nintendo like software development doing in the last three years of the Wii's life cycle?
They should have been making these games.
To be fair though, the examples of SMT and X's like those games probably can't just belch those games out.
No, X especially because they just come off Xenoblade.
Stuff like Captain Toad though.
No, they didn't just come off. Xenoblade had been done for two years.
Superstar new IPs like Captain Toad.
Oh god damn it, you're totally right.
They've worked on that for a long time.
So we're in the middle of an ongoing story.
Because what originally was just a set piece on the docket was just going to be some 10 year old girl is kicking everyone's ass in Smash Bros.
Smash Bros. for the little girls confirmed.
And now we're in Carissa Gate.
It's what it's being called.
Now the only thing I like about their stories on Gap is just like girl peace on West Coast players is so much just right.
Well yeah, they're from the West Coast.
I thought that was too funny, yeah.
Or what good West Coast players.
So let's back it up all the way.
Back the way up, yeah. I mean I linked to the Shorouyuken article so you can see the original thing.
So out of nowhere just talk starts to explode.
A bunch of great Smash players are at a preview event at a GameStop including D1 and the whole crew.
And suddenly there's Twitter messages flying around.
This news starts to bubble up.
This year old girl is beasting on pro players and really doing well.
I heard these pro players' names and I'm like who?
And I look it up and it's like brawl players and I'm like yeah.
And immediately you're like this is my favorite thing ever.
This is great, this is great, this is great.
This is the ultimate subversion of expectations.
This girl isn't beating them.
This girl is being them and taunting them and shit.
And she has multiple memes and she's switching characters on them.
Like what? You know?
So me, my brain goes to the same place that Shorouyuken went as well.
Where it's like yeah, Marvel has some prodigies like this.
Oh yeah there was like a 12 year old girl.
Oh yeah, Knuckledo and fucking CJ Truth and there's a bunch of little kids that get really good of her.
Noah is great as well. Noah plays at a home.
Noah is like a baby.
And I was at his match because one of the Montreal guys had to fight against him.
And we got to see it happen and I was like yeah no the dude knows how to fucking play.
Did he beat whoever it was from Montreal?
He didn't. But like his dad was there like supporting him and he did a good match.
But yeah so Marvel has a bunch of these little prodigy kids and I'm like I believe it, that's fucking great.
I've never seen a little girl but that's really cool.
It's actually overdue for smash shit things.
It's awesome.
Lots more kids would play a smash game rather than Marvel.
If you go back really far to when some of the pro players started for melee and stuff, they were like 14 and stuff.
They were really young.
But the deal is that I guess you'd have to expect a kid like...
This is like 10.
A kid that's like 10 would only be playing it with other 10 year olds and would get exposed to that level of play.
Exposed though.
Exactly.
So that's where I left the story.
Then the footage comes out and you've got like shaky cam footage of her standing next to dudes playing them.
Everyone's getting mad hyped and she's trash talking and like getting way into it.
And apparently it's not like you're stupid and you smell like a 10 year old.
She's like talking.
No she's like she lost her mind.
She'd be like I'm coming back. I'm coming back. Don't worry.
Well everyone was cheering for D1 and she turns around and starts getting everyone to cheer Clarissa.
No it was really sad.
She's her own hype man.
It was a really awesome story and so like it flew.
It spread like wildfire.
Everyone's like oh my god.
And then...
She's a good story of the week.
Exactly.
And then the next day some dudes that were suspicious of the whole thing...
Well actually no.
A funny match and what they do.
Before it went down, D1 and I think someone else mentioned that they saw some kind of weird sticker on the port.
On the GameCube port or not the GameCube port at the end.
The controller port.
And they're like ah it's a bit odd but they didn't think too much about it.
And then someone looked up and saw that this girl is an actor.
And she has a website and you can see her headshots and everything.
And I was like yeah she's an actor from the area.
Actress from the area.
And then they went looking around for local casting call sheets and found a casting call sheet from GameStop for Super Smash Bros.
Are you serious?
No.
You didn't catch this?
Am I breaking this to you?
Oh my god I thought...
You didn't know this.
You're breaking this to us.
Oh my god I'm sorry.
Okay so then they find...
And then the sheet is like we're looking for people to come in and we're going to have a ringer.
And it's going to be this girl and someone else is going to be playing.
And we want some players to be like experienced to fight against her.
And it doesn't say what they're going to be doing but it basically sets up the whole thing was someone else was playing the game.
And it was totally a fraud.
Are you serious?
Yeah I can't believe you didn't catch the update.
No I didn't bother following it.
I saw it and I'm like okay.
Smash is a game for babies confirmed.
So yeah fighting games are dead.
Bring on the esports bullshit.
So that's why I called it Curricigate because it then was unrevealed.
You said that I wasn't sure what you were getting at.
Oh yeah I know and so like you combine the two and it's like okay they're higher you know.
I hate Smash now.
And the thing is it wasn't a tournament right it was just like a promo event.
It was a promo event but it seems like this might have been...
It wasn't like a legit tournament.
That would be like...
Exactly.
It was a random exhibition so I think it was just to kind of make a little viral thing.
But it's like okay viral things like this always confuse me because there is no scenario
in which this doesn't eventually get found out.
Especially when it's like...
And that 10 year old girl disappears forever.
Exactly.
It's pointless.
And now I feel really bad about this.
It sucks.
That it's not real.
But...
I hate GameSpot now.
But...
Now.
No I don't...
It says the casting call says GameSpot slash Super Smash Brothers.
GameStop.
GameStop brother.
Yeah.
But we don't know like who actually...
Great I hate everything now.
You know.
You see that tweet to GameStop from a guy that and it's got like a couple thousand you know
whatever likes it says you guys have done a really poor job trying to stop the games.
You've actually done the opposite.
That's really funny.
That's pretty good.
Yeah I know and so that lets us a backlash of course.
But at the same time...
Yeah no shit!
But a lot of people were like flinging like some...
Well I got really ugly and they were like attacking some Smash players.
Yeah of course.
And it was just kind of like that's getting ugly and we don't need that you know unfortunately
in the whole situation.
But yeah sorry to break it to you guys it seems like it's not.
No I'm glad I found out in the end but man that's...
I would have preferred to never know.
Oh yeah.
Here's the thing.
I think that's like the thing.
It's delicious.
Well I don't care about eating people.
I eat people right now.
I think that type of thing is fine.
No I don't care.
Like a commercial advertisement thing.
They're trying to pass it off as like a real thing at first.
Well the honest truth is we don't know right where they were going to go with that.
And the footage again like D1 didn't know and like the footage that went up was just like
I don't know what's happening but this is crazy.
In a case like this in which corporate interests are coming into your tiny like subculture
assume the worst of absolutely everyone
and it's the dirtiest most horrible thing that's ever occurred.
It might not have been GameStop.
It might have been just...
We don't even know.
Everyone involved is guilty.
You know?
It might have been guilty.
Except for the kid.
That's awesome.
Good on her for pulling the fucking wall over there.
Sure.
I can be simultaneously hurt in disappointment.
Disappointed.
And then be like yeah you did a good job.
You fucking you fooled everything.
You must be a great actress.
It could have just been like a manager at that GameStop going I have a cool idea to bring you to the store.
You know what it's like?
It's like the actress in Bojack that he hires to do the real life scenarios to fuck over his roommate's life.
Yeah.
It's like that.
It's like there's no cameras.
I character actress.
Go do it.
You know?
You're in there.
Like how do you get around these issues?
You get around them by putting ties on your announcers.
Just settle it and smash.
So they settle it and smash.
Exactly.
There's no resolution but it's an ongoing story ladies and gentlemen.
There will never be a resolution.
I was going to say there's never going to be a second part.
Are people going to go out and grab this kid and throw in front of a fucking camera and go what did you do?
No.
The missing info right now is like who made the casting call?
Call marketing.
For which company?
Yeah exactly.
For marketing companies.
For Smash Brothers fans.
For GameStop.
For Nintendo.
Like who?
For GameStop and Mad just left the room because the Paul marketing thing had a perfect segue.
You know how D4 is doing like shit?
Yes this is funny.
People went through the credits and saw that there are two guys working for marketing for D4 and one of them is Paul.
And the only marketing they could find out that he had done was that he posted a link to the game on his Twitter which has like 200 followers.
Oh wow.
And the only other marketing was what?
They showed it off at TGS.
Yeah.
But that's the Japanese division.
And it's like there's two guys on the marketing tab and like nobody knows what these guys actually did.
Did they ever get banners on Gamefax or anything?
There was that bartender that Swarri talked to that one night.
Yeah.
That was part of the campaign as well.
I heard you.
It was like I saw someone tweet like the picture of the thing or whatever.
I was like shouldn't we be on there too?
We should be.
Because I apparently.
Swarri can swing it.
Did more than they did apparently.
Tune in next week when Swarri is in Wally's apartment.
Hanging out.
Hanging out.
Talking about shows that we've never seen.
Yeah.
So that was Carisagate.
And then I guess the other thing is they chopped off a part of Titan and made it into Overwatch.
You should start at the beginning with this.
Because someone's going to be like what are you talking about?
Blizzard announces a new IP and it looks like Team Fortress but it has MOBA style characters but it's an FPS.
And the name is terrible but the gameplay looks great.
Name is Overwatch.
What's the terrible name?
The name is what?
I already forgot.
Overwatch.
Terrible.
Overstrike.
Warface.
Battleborn.
I think Battleborn is still the worst.
Battleborn is still the worst.
Warcry was really bad.
Oh boy.
Wargate.
Dawngate.
Face War.
Oh what was the one that EA shut down the other week?
Dawngate.
Dawngate.
That's the worst one.
War of Dawn.
Dawn of War actually has a name.
It was on the docket.
Fuck it.
Dawngate got cancelled.
The end.
No one could remember what it was called.
I'm really good on EA for giving everyone all their money back the whole way through.
And not just keeping it all.
It was meant to go on but they accidentally sent the money over to Battleborn and Warface
and they're like fuck where's the money going?
Shit and then they just ran out of money.
I'm really glad they just burst their own bubble and looked at it and said yeah no this
MOBA space is fucking hot.
Yeah absolutely.
So a reason why like aside from the name I don't like Overwatch at all is that it really
just smacks of new Blizzard where oh shit instead of creating a genre or redefining one
let's just copy what everyone else said.
What are you talking about?
Blizzard has created zero genres.
Well I mean when I say redefine I mean like Diablo like became its own thing.
Rock and roll racing was pretty special.
Like Blizzard's specialty has been taking existing genres and then like perfecting them.
That's why I said redefined afterwards because like.
I don't know wow didn't redefine the MMO it just made a good one.
And then it destroyed almost all of their MMOs.
Yeah cause MMOs were bad.
Yeah Blizzard started crafting huge things for the RTS.
Yes RTS.
Blizzard takes existing properties and then blows them up.
And I just thought like this is like holy shit everyone else is leaving us in the dust
we got to do this thing real quick.
Well apparently they thought this was like eight years ago.
Calta Blizzard will never say we're being left in the dust cause those fucking boatloads
of money are going to be coming in for a while.
They're fine.
Again what I mean is that the space this MOBA space is like we were behind on that.
But it's not a MOBA it's an FPS right.
Sure.
I just.
No those are different genres.
I know what you're getting at.
I know what you're getting at.
I know what you're getting at.
It's still one of those things where it's like well.
The feel of the game.
The feel of like.
I agree with you that the feel of the game.
Actually I agree with a lot that you're saying.
I just think you're saying and not super great.
Yeah I do that sometimes.
So the game itself I think the fact that they're like okay FPS is we're going to try to get
roping some kids.
Pixar style trailer.
That was pretty cool.
That was pretty cool but like stop just being Pixar.
Stop just trying to be Pixar.
You know I was in there.
It's fine.
I mean it's not blowing anyone away.
The kids.
The kids.
No just the one kid.
The one kid.
The cast.
But you kind of look at it.
Slide him off the edge of the earth.
It makes me wonder when I look at that and I go okay so they probably want to pull in
a younger audience for this right.
And they probably want to.
They mentioned actually that there's something about the game that is a simplified version
of an FPS somehow.
We don't know what.
But it's not going to be.
I don't know.
When I was looking at that gameplay trailer every single character has like some pretty
in-depth like mechanics.
Yeah.
So there's some elements of it is going to be I guess inviting to you know kids playing
this for the first time type of thing.
I think it's just going to be designed.
Like I think we spoke about this where like you know MOBAs have that design where hey
even though people are fucking terrible at League of Legends they just keep playing it
because it's so fun.
There's things that are fun to do.
They just make it fun on a pro level.
Yeah Titanfall tried to do some of that.
Well the little what are they called?
Creeps and stuff.
The little character.
What are the fucking enemies called?
AIs that you shoot in the middle of a multiplayer match.
Creeps.
Yeah Creeps.
Yeah Creeps.
You know they might have things like that going on.
Who knows.
I look at though I know it's a MOBA thing at this point or identified as a MOBA thing
but I will always be a fan of showing me a roster of fighting game characters.
Yeah.
You're totally right.
You'll always be a fan of that.
That being said like I looked at the gameplay trailer and I came away like I went in really
cynical and I'm like oh that looks pretty good.
Well you were about to quit on it until you saw the monkey in there.
Yeah.
But I have to totally agree with what Matt said at the core.
Well maybe you might have a more extreme version of this but before the podcast started
me and Liam just had this moment where I just leaned back in the chair like this and just
said man I fucking hate Modern Blizzard.
I hate Modern Blizzard so fucking much.
Everything like it looks good.
I don't want that from Blizzard.
Yeah.
I want I want fucking RTS.
I want Warcraft.
I understand when those people like when Donkey Kong Returns was announced and then Donkey
Kong Traveling Peasers I don't want this from Retro.
And you were like and you were like what?
That was fine for me because when I'm like well I like Donkey Kong and I like Retro but
if you don't like Donkey Kong it's like yeah I understand and this is one of those things
where it's like it's cool that you're doing a new thing that's not typical of Blizzard
but it's typical of almost everyone else.
Like I want Blizzard to do two things MMOs and fucking Warcraft RTS.
I never liked Starcraft as much as Warcraft.
I mean really like just like make a new action game make a new action game called Black Thorn
or Black Thorn Reborn or whatever.
No I think that if there was a PT style release of this where you just saw that trailer and
you saw no companies involved like people would judge it a little bit less harshly
but because you know it's Blizzard you want what you know of Blizzard from your childhood.
What you're good at.
Well I don't even know if like the thing you say about Blizzard with like your childhood
it's like they have released so few games overall that like any fan of Blizzard that's not just
a fan of Warcraft like those games come into play.
Starcraft and Diablo are the three.
I mean here's the thing too to keep in mind like you know Titan was going to be fucking.
And yeah so that's the other part of this is that you said this is the pulled out multiplayer
thing from Titan.
That's not confirmed I think this is where people are theorizing.
It is really likely.
This came out of nowhere.
And it sounds so similar to what it was what Titan was going to be.
Yeah I forget but.
It was going to be this.
Okay.
But with MMO stuff also.
And like little like the sim style live your life as you have a job do your daily things
and then jump into the changing booth become a superhero and do these types of missions.
You remember it was like what three months ago where Blizzard said yeah we were officially
cancelled Titan.
Yeah and in between the time that Titan was cancelled and this got announced the details
of what Titan was going to be.
And all I can think about is like I've been waiting for Titan forever like and then it
went away and now I get like a piece of it.
No I want all of it.
Give me all the Titan.
I don't know I think this.
Not even what they wanted to me.
Yeah I think this is actually a better idea.
I don't know that that living through the day that they stuff it was just kind of like
I'm sure they looked at it and like you said they had elements of Destiny that going on
and they saw that and they just kind of went like do we want is this what the fuck are we
doing you know like they just had that meeting and then just shut it all down.
It's one of those things that really shows is like your company is too big there's too
many investors too many things and no one like knows what they're making anymore rather
when you have small core teams like Blizzard used to have.
So to me when I see this this is them going basically like let's get back to the fun of
this project.
I imagine I'm totally hypothesized out of my ass.
But that's the kind of thing Blizzard actually says is that we got it all this and we kept
that thing.
Yeah so I don't care I don't mind I think it looks fun I'm happy it exists and you know
and like and I really hope it comes to console so that I can play it.
I just realized what my core like problem with this is is that when I saw it I didn't
lose my shit.
The way I've done ever since for every single Blizzard game since Warcraft 2 where they
announce it and show off a bit of it and I go oh my god this looks like the most amazing
thing ever.
Yeah every single game.
What's the last time that happened.
The last time that happened was the initial reveal of Diablo 3 and then that became its
own thing.
For me it was Warcraft 3 like the first CG game I was weighing a while for a long time
remember.
Yeah sure.
One of my favorite like side effects of this game is 2k and Gearbox you're gonna have to
try a whole lot harder with Battleborn.
Is that what theirs is called?
Yeah and it's almost the same exact kind of game.
Except theirs is actually a MOBA.
Yeah by the way it's done from first person.
So I'm excited to see them push way harder to try to make that work.
Don't forget about the KOF MOBA.
I forgot to mention my extreme bias because in case you guys didn't know I'm in it.
You're in it?
I'm in it.
You're in the game?
I'm in it.
Wait are you in this or are you in Big Hero 6?
I'm in Big Hero 6 as well but I'm in fucking Overwatch.
There's a character that's unnamed that just shows up on the wallpaper of all the characters
and I'm like yeah that's me.
Oh yeah there's a couple of characters that are just in there.
Yeah he's just there and it's just like...
I mean drop a few pounds and it's you.
Absolutely.
More than a few.
Perhaps more than that.
He's pretty skinny.
He's like thinner than I am.
Yeah that's a cartoon you can do anything in post.
That's true.
There's a fun little quote that came out from Hori Yuji, the dude behind Dragon Quest.
He's got a lot of good quotes spinning around these days.
One that I enjoyed.
This is like the most overt hint I have ever seen.
Once the smartphone boom settles I think home consoles will be the focus of attention again.
Yeah.
I saw another quote today from, I think it was, I honestly don't forget who it said,
but it said I think we'll never get back to the console golden days.
There's so many.
It was NVIDIA.
NVIDIA.
Who are the saltiest fucks ever.
NVIDIA.
Their new video cards are real good but those motherfuckers are the saltiest bastards.
We talked about it when the AMD got the fucking console contracts.
They were just pieces of shit.
This is just another layer on the salty cake.
You know what's the fucking future?
The NVIDIA shield.
Just making a video card that runs entirely on salt.
Every fucking driver update for NVIDIA cards, the GeForce experience pimps the shield.
Every single driver update.
We made a joke about the shield at MagFest and have forgotten about the device altogether.
I thought you were going to say every update gets saltier and saltier.
We're just like, you still here?
You still want these?
Fine.
Take these drivers.
Man, like.
Fuckers.
We don't want you any way.
Fuck the fucking shield.
Like it's so cool and I love it and I've used it and I'm like, this is great.
But why would you make a fucking piece of hardware and not get software for it?
Streams your PC games.
Well, it's an Android device and it streams your PC games.
It's a Wii U tablet for your PC.
It's got a couple good bits of software that they bumped some elbows and said,
okay, can we get Portal on this?
It's like, yeah, okay, a native version of Portal on it.
That's fun and it's got Conduit.
But it's like, why would you make a piece of hardware like this, dedicated hardware,
and have the focus being in on it?
Especially because sodium levels are at max capacity.
So the full quotes.
It's a cool device too.
The full quote that Matt's referring to.
I don't know about that.
I've used it.
So why?
The golden age.
I thought it was garbage.
Oh.
So I'm gonna let the fuck...
It's that the golden age of consoles is dead.
There are just so many.
There are too many places to play games.
Yeah.
Coming from a company that makes video cards and a shitty, weird handheld thing.
Like, they're not in the...
Does Nvidia make the fucking Tegra chip?
Yeah, they make smartphone chips.
Yeah.
The iPhone uses.
That's what's in the shields.
So the people that have absolutely no stock in consoles say that consoles do that.
And have stock in the console space doing poorly due to their immediate rivals fueling it.
Yeah.
And the fact that their current markets are all opposed.
God, I would love to just see, meanwhile, at ATI, Wolf of Wall Street,
Just fucking...
Just hookers and booze.
No, not at AMD ATI.
They're real lucky they got those consoles.
Because they were going to die.
Because Nvidia was beating them into the earth.
It was the...
Like that...
Remember ATI and AMD merged?
And it was gonna be like, oh, this is cool.
They fucked it up.
And they were shit.
I've been out of the game for a minute,
but I remember when it was Radeon versus GeForce.
It was still Radeon versus GeForce.
Okay.
They didn't jump names again.
Okay.
No, but every single generation of chipsets,
they changed the numbering convention so that humans cannot figure out what card is what.
Possibly.
Yeah.
Every time.
Hey, remember when the 9800 Pro by ATI was the gold standard of fucking video cards?
I have a GeForce 970 in my PC,
and it's a hundred times stronger than that one.
Does that make sense?
No.
No.
That's more bits.
They each jumped from the thousands to the hundreds in opposite...
It's so confusing.
And there's stuff that we can't really talk about,
but there's developer video cards that you get when you're making a game.
Or station cards.
Get...
New Egg sells some of those.
They're like $15,000.
Of course they are.
Because you're not supposed to ever touch these.
This is unlicensed tech.
But yeah, Dragon Quest creators say that.
Smartphones are gonna be a boom and a fad,
and then they're gonna come down.
Okay, this is like after a long string of quotes from him,
where he's like,
Dragon Quest will return to consoles,
to the big screen with 11.
And people are like,
Yeah, 3DS.
I was like,
No!
Big screen doesn't mean 3DS?
Why is it that they're making heroes on the PS4?
Why do you think it's TGS?
It's likely an engine test.
Why do you think at TGS they say,
Welcome Home.
Why do you like...
Dragon Quest on the 3DS is a big success,
but it's like they're not gonna stay there.
They want to go back to...
They want to do something different.
And they just did an MMO.
So of course it's like,
Let's just go back to traditional Dragon Quest.
How would anyone not come to that conclusion?
That shit's gonna be on PS4.
Hugh, he was also talking about how GTA seems to be the...
Consoles need to sell in Japan somehow.
Dragon Quest will do it.
He was talking about how GTA seems to be the default.
Seems to be really popular in the West,
and a lot of Western gamers like...
The open world design.
Open world design, exactly.
Japanese players really don't like that.
And the way that he described this
actually made me get it,
because it's a thing that has happened to me.
And he described it's like...
I got the quote.
Yeah, read out the quote please.
That's bizarre.
So interviewer asks,
I'm in the West,
games like GTA seem to be the next popular thing.
That's really naïve of the interviewer to say.
I hear that the GTA is getting really big.
Ah, Grand Theft Auto, says Harry.
This was the first game that employed an open world system
instead of being forced down a certain path.
And they let you do whatever you want.
This seems to be the genre most popular in the foreign market.
Doing whatever you want in a game that doesn't give you instructions
requires a certain talent.
A playing talent.
And if you don't have it,
you really have no idea what an open space
that doesn't tell you where to go...
You really have no idea what to do
in an open space that doesn't tell you where to go.
I think that this is one of the reasons
Western games don't hit big in Japan.
Yes, so...
GTA sold really well in Japan.
GTA 5 sold incredibly well in Japan.
Not multi-millions, but incredibly well.
He's describing like sandbox.
He's describing the concepts more than the game.
And I think that has a lot of merit
because I remember in tons and tons of games
in what...
Oh God, what would you call it?
Just open it loud.
Just open it.
Man, it's not going to get as much cheese.
It's just got bags of chips in his pockets.
Dude, it's like Seinfeld.
Someone's got to grab it out of your hand
and fucking purse it open.
Did you bring enough for everyone, Mr. Kowalski?
No.
In games that are like incredibly open
and non-linear, right from the get-go,
I am often completely paralyzed
by the available decision.
Yeah, sure.
And I play that kind of genre all the fucking time.
If you're out in Japan and all...
Japanese games tend to be super linear.
And you're given Skyrim,
or no, Morrowind.
You're given Morrowind.
You have no experience with this.
I can't get into Morrowind for this reason.
For fuck's sake.
No, Reckoning had a pretty hefty moment like that
where you get out of the tutorial and it's like...
Amalur?
Amalur?
Yeah, you get out of the tutorial dungeon
and then it's like,
there's a town over there that you might want to go by,
but...
Whatever.
And I've also felt the opposite
where Dark Souls does it really well
where it's like,
I want that so bad.
And when I play a Japanese game,
like Scarlet Sword,
that really does the opposite.
That railroads you too hard.
It's like,
no, you're going to follow this fucking path
and you're going to like it.
I go,
No, I want off!
I want off!
Give me the...
Yeah.
And...
The freedom to break mission whenever you want.
Yeah.
And it's like,
it's really awesome that he gets that.
I think...
I've never heard a Japanese developer
like, get it.
Yeah.
Like that before,
or at least publicly.
I'm sure a bunch of them get it.
I mean,
as far as the smartphone thing goes,
like,
I hope he's right,
but I don't know if he is.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Everyone hopes he's right.
Because
there's the thing is that,
like,
call it a fad or not,
the actual device being in someone's hand
That's not going to go away.
is not going to go away.
Yeah.
And then people,
and people choosing to not buy
a handheld console
when they have a smartphone
is also not going to go on.
And it's starting to burn away at it.
Yeah.
Because Krandee Crush is enough.
I feel good.
I don't think that,
like,
the worried one,
remember when PS4 and Xbox One
were about to come out
and people were like,
oh man,
what if these consoles
are just going to die?
What if they're going to bomb?
Because smartphones took everyone.
Yeah.
And that has
clearly proven to not be the case.
But I believe
that is the case for handhelds.
I think that smart phones
are just going to kill handhelds.
I think that is the case for
a handheld market with competitors.
I don't think that's the case
for a Nintendo handheld.
Yeah, you're right.
I think Nintendo's next handheld.
I think Nintendo will get
to have a handheld.
Yeah.
But they're never going to have
another Nintendo DS.
Just like how Sony
is never going to have a PS2 again.
Actually, the PS4 is blown it up
harder than the PS2 right now.
I don't think it will even
get close to the PS2.
I don't think it will sell numbers.
Well, we'll see.
We'll see.
I doubt it.
I think you're right.
But right now,
the PS4 is blown it up.
Well, to me,
having the PS2 again
means the library.
Yeah.
It means a library
of unscalable size.
Well, that's the thing is
that in a way,
we're going to have that
no matter what,
because everything is
multi-plated now.
Well, in a way,
we're going to have that
no matter what,
but at the same time,
as far as Japan goes,
a lot of them just went
to smartphones.
Yeah.
And it's like,
that just burns away
half the library.
If there's one place
where a console I don't think
will ever get high numbers
in Japan,
I don't think that's ever
going to happen.
Granted,
we have indie developers now.
And a lot of indie developers
from the West
and from Europe
and various places
are making quote-unquote
Japanese games.
Yeah.
Like Shovel Knight
might as well be
a fucking hidden gem
from the Castlevania Mega Man
dance.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Maybe they'll be
more accepting
of GTA
now that you can play
it in first person mode.
Yeah.
Japan loves that.
Yeah.
No.
Oh, okay.
Oh, yeah.
So last week,
we discovered...
God, that game comes out tomorrow,
doesn't it?
I think so.
Does it?
Yeah.
It's just assassinless tomorrow,
isn't it?
It comes out soon.
Yeah.
It comes out soon, I guess.
No, yeah, your idea
is just assassinless.
But I was saying
there was enough...
there was a bug
that people responded
to so positively.
In GTA 5
regularly.
Was that the actual reason?
No, it was a mod.
It was a fucking mod.
Come on.
But the original bug
was that if you go
on the Ferris wheel
and you die
just as you go on,
you get into first person
mode.
And this is where
Rockstar took it down.
But first person
existed as like a modification
as far back as like...
Oh, god.
Yeah.
The PC version of Vice City.
So maybe it was all
leading towards this,
but like...
Probably because
they're confident
in the way the game looks like
now that they can
put you in first person
and you're not
just gonna look at
garbage.
Yeah.
That's a fucking pretty game.
It looks really good.
It's surprising.
I am so
interested
in what the PC
version of that is gonna be.
Because Max Payne was good,
but every other
Rockstar game ever
has been an absolute
unmitigated disaster
on PC.
GTA 4.
I still can't
max it out.
I played...
Well, I played GTA 3
on PC back in the day.
And I thoroughly
enjoyed having
my own music.
Yeah.
That's all I got to say about
the game.
Oh, yeah.
Heads up.
It's probably too late,
but if you own San Andreas
on Steam,
do not update that game
because it removes music
because of license
expiring.
What?
Yep.
That sucks.
Music patched
out of the game.
That's right.
Holy shit.
Is that the same
for the HD update
that came out on
360?
I believe so.
It also
apparently...
I buffed that
because it was
for both of them.
So apparently
it also adds
native
360 controller
support,
but also
breaks
1080p resolution
so that it doesn't
work anymore.
It like...
It's garbage.
You broke the resolution?
The most common
PC resolution?
Prior to this,
like that kind of thing
I'd only hear about
when it's like,
yo, Daria
and Beavis and Butthead
are coming to DVD.
You're not going to get
any of that music
from the show.
You know, too bad.
Or like, oh man,
don't ever think
that you could ever release
Crazy Taxi and all.
Yeah, yeah.
The best part
of Crazy Taxi is
all of that shit
was fucking time capsules,
man.
And like,
ugh.
There's a new Tony Hawk game.
You know, you don't get
Goldfinger Superman.
Did you guys catch,
by the way, that there's
a new Tony Hawk game coming?
Yes, I did.
Like for actuals, though?
Yes.
I like it.
I think it was Destrucker.
Someone said,
old man gets another game.
That's so hard.
There's a rumor that this
mummy that rides a skateboard
has another game coming out.
It's basically Tom Clancy
at this point.
Yeah.
I think,
I think he would agree
that the Tony Hawk game,
or like underrated Tony Hawk
game, was Tony Hawk's
downhill jam.
Is actually surprisingly good.
I gave up after four.
I know, but Tony Hawk
downhill jam is just a game
that's like SSX.
It's a racing game.
You're right.
Okay.
You did give up after four.
Did you guys try to play
Tony Hawk's Proving Ground?
You were just like,
oh god.
Wait, because three was perfect.
Wait, you didn't play.
And then four was okay.
Thug?
I didn't play Thug.
They're good.
They're good.
What are two of those are good?
But then there was like
five of them.
I was also over saturated.
I think I'm already wasted.
Yeah, but they're not.
They're not the amazing
experiences.
They're not.
Three is the best one.
Yeah.
Also, I just consumed so much.
Oh yeah.
I fucking.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Three.
I feel like,
I feel like weird because
three was the one I played the
least.
Because I played a
fuck ton of two.
Yes, you did.
I played a little bit of three
and I played a fuck ton of four.
Yeah, four was the one.
So when I hear you guys saying
three is perfect,
I'm like,
I have to take your word for it.
No, see, here's the deal.
This might be,
this is the mega man slash
sonic two, three is perfect
because it added the revert.
But four had a revert and.
No, no, no.
But like Tony Hawk could have
stopped at three and had been
done because,
because the,
the chaining formula was
finished.
But how's the music though?
Right?
Because the music in three,
I remember hearing a few tracks
and being like that's.
I played three and four and
okay.
So I'm like,
I still sing tracks from four
to this day.
I played three and four a lot.
It was the same way.
I was like,
three is really good.
It's like four.
It's like,
oh, it's also really good.
But then I was getting a little
bit fatigued of it.
That's why four is a little bit
lower.
Like men.
But if you didn't play that
much of three,
then you went to four.
Then I fucking.
Hey,
we still have no news on the,
on the fucking docket.
Right.
So you can just throw in
whatever.
No,
actually we're,
we're about to catch up with
one more story and then we're
moving into letters.
Oh,
damn it.
I had something to say.
I'm playing.
Yeah.
It sold like fucking garbage.
Like you, you must have seen.
Okay.
Now hold on a minute.
What does fucking garbage mean
for call of duty?
There's,
I can't,
I can't pull the numbers,
but there's the,
there's a chart of,
of user,
how many Okami's is fucking
garbage for call of duty?
I mean,
it's like,
there's always been the
activity chart where it's
like,
here's black ops two and the
drop off.
And then every game like
modern warfare three has been
like half of the prior one.
And it's like that now for
advanced warfare where it's
not even charting on like the
top,
like steam games.
The,
the community on PC for that
kind of game is gone.
It's just completely gone.
Activision can super turn that
around if they want to.
Well,
I think a lot of those people
went to MOBAs,
but even if you do like that
kind of game,
like on PC,
call of duty is not where you
fucking get it.
Oh,
well,
if they,
if they fucking stop keeping
their game at $70 for three
years,
it was 25% off,
like the week it came out.
Like that's,
like that's how desperate
like that's gotten.
It's just,
hopefully,
hopefully they play this,
like I say,
I say this because I feel
like the PC is the,
the five years from now advanced
version of what we're going to
see on the consoles we call
duty or the fatigue and the
competition has just started
to catch up and it's going
faster and faster and faster.
I think you can kind of see
that advanced warfare is not
doing as well anymore.
Oh,
it's not doing nearly as well
as the last one.
Yeah,
but every game,
every game pays for the
mistakes of the game prior.
So with ghosts being a piece of
shit,
advanced warfare suffers.
Yeah.
Then you saw that story that's
like Call of Duty,
advanced warfare,
selling better than ghosts in
the UK.
It's still alive,
you guys.
Don't,
investors, please.
It's still fine.
Like it was like this Activision
statement.
It's like,
Oh, it's selling really good,
you know,
in the UK.
They've got it because you
say like Activision
investors like,
please, please,
but like if for any company,
like if Nintendo had this
situation.
Yeah,
yo,
it's really big than destroying
it.
A single release,
a single release can't do that
much damage.
No,
but it's,
it's the fatigue over the past
four or five games.
It's been decreasing ever since
Black Ops one.
Hmm.
Well,
no,
it's been like,
I thought Black Ops two did
better than Black Ops one.
I thought it was modern
warfare three.
That,
that was the bad one.
That was the real start of it.
Yeah.
Also Max is insane.
The things that he likes.
I watched his review of the
multiplayer.
Yeah.
What's going on?
That dude hates the,
the multiplayer because there's
no killstreaks and that's his
favorite thing about Call of
Duty.
That's the worst thing about
Call of Duty.
If you're good,
that's really good for you.
Yeah.
If you're good,
you like killstreaks.
No,
it's,
and he was really honest,
like,
I don't want a balanced game.
I want a game where I can get
into the chopper and shoot like
14 people.
It's coming from Max.
And it's so weird.
And it's like,
everything that you love about
Call of Duty,
you get to play for years.
His,
he had the first tactical nuke
video up on his channel.
Yeah, I know.
Like the dude,
he plays, man.
I know.
I know.
It's like the things,
it's the one of those things.
It's like where they go to,
you know,
Street Fighter 3 to
Street Fighter 4 or whatever
and they change something
and you're like,
oh,
that's a good change.
And the guy next to you,
he's like,
oh,
I hate the game now.
And you know what Max is
saying to you?
Get good.
The piece of on go,
God,
things that are just rough
and rough and rough all around,
but fucking drive club.
Yeah.
Won't stop.
And can't stop.
Can't stop.
So I think,
I think it's beyond any shadow
of the doubt at this point
that it is not a server issue,
something in the way that the
game pages for data.
They confirmed this multiple
times.
It's a game code issue.
Yeah.
It's like,
I've seen this with other games
in which they find out it's like,
this is paging the server
a million times a second.
Yeah.
I, God,
like, okay.
But the fact that they can't
find it after a month.
Honestly,
I don't think they can't find
it.
I think it's just a hard fix.
Like,
Dude, like, I'm going.
It should have been fixed.
Liam.
No, no, I agree with you, Pat,
but.
Oh, I'm not mad at you.
I'm just like,
I'm.
Regulus.
Tell me if this doesn't ring
a bell game.
Everything is fine about it.
Yep.
But you're some massive
problems happening on the test
servers.
Yep.
And then programmer goes,
you know what?
Yeah.
It won't occur on the test
server.
It's the test server issue only.
It won't occur once we shift.
And most of the time,
they're right, actually.
Most of the time,
but every once in a while,
they're not.
And then it's like,
pull, press the red button.
People can't play our game.
Yeah.
And that alarms been going off
for how long?
About four weeks.
Yeah.
Month.
Month.
Oh,
ETA.
I felt.
So it's problematic.
I think that's super damning
because I've lived through it.
There's like,
hey, we're working on it.
But the fact that there's
the PS Plus version means
there's no ETA for the fix.
Yeah.
Well,
that's what I'm saying.
I think it's a pretty
clearly a pretty fucking bad
issue.
Like,
I feel every bit of sympathy
for them, but like,
God damn it.
Like,
you should have had this.
You should have delayed it.
Like,
They delayed it so much.
Yeah.
No,
they delayed it so much already.
They didn't know that this
was going to happen.
Yeah.
Like,
they were beta test with
literally tens of thousands
of users.
And I guess like,
there's a significant,
like,
hundreds of thousands to do.
Like,
it's still sold well,
actually surprising.
It's like,
it's something like,
watch this,
there's a,
like a bad server
that just doesn't work
or whatever.
And then the IP for that server
is baked into multiple
instances of the code
throughout.
You know what I mean?
And they have to go find each
one.
Like some dumb shit.
I don't know.
Like,
they got to be reprogramming
something.
Like,
they got to be.
And people are,
and like,
I doubt we'll ever know,
but like,
I remember talking to you,
all of you guys,
about game development
and bug stuff,
where it's like the,
like,
somebody built one bad
series of decisions
right at the beginning.
Yeah.
And they just built
everything on top of that
bad decision.
And now they go,
okay.
So if we take the book out
from underneath the couch,
my whole apartment's going to
collapse.
Right.
Exactly.
So,
I'm going to go,
I'm going to go,
I'm going to go,
I'm going to go,
I'm going to go,
I'm going to go,
I'm going to go.
So,
first you have to shore up
the bullshit
and then just completely
reworked
the entire fucking thing.
Because I mentioned this
story to you last week.
We're going to have time
to get to it.
It was like,
well,
I really noticed it
when Yoshida was just like,
yo,
we're really sorry
and I'm sorry.
I don't know.
And they're sending
Yoshida out into the mall,
in front of the mall.
We're,
we're working on it.
And that's like,
that's like,
kojima,
when he jumps in.
And he's like,
yeah, okay.
Come on guys.
I'm sorry.
It's bad.
I mean,
at least it's coming.
And they're not just
a weird check developer
that doesn't have money.
Oh yeah.
Yeah.
Cause that,
that always feels super good.
Or like a developer
saying, sorry,
we're not going to fix
all these,
uh,
save issues and crashes.
We're going to put out
the DLC instead.
Second,
we're going to do Batman Origins.
Ooh.
They're just down the street.
We know where you're at.
We should go
We're not hard to fight.
Maybe those have been fixed
instead,
but I never saw any news
story.
Oh no,
I don't think they've been fixed.
Okay.
Did they issue the patch
to make the game good?
Holy shit.
What the fuck?
Somebody just sent me
a Facebook message,
uh,
that has a news article
that Bruce Campbell
is coming to star
in the Evil Dead TV series.
On what?
On what?
Stars.
On what?
Oh.
What?
Where is the stars?
And that's the day
of this next
original series,
the long-awaited follow-up
to the classic horror film
franchise,
Evil Dead.
The project retains
the original filmmakers,
Rainey,
with longtime
producing partner
Rob Dappert
and Star Bruce Campbell.
Titled
Ash vs Evil Dead,
the 10 episode series,
we'll see Campbell
replies his role
as Ash,
the stock boy,
aging Lothario,
and chainsaw-handed
monster hunter,
who has spent
the last 30 years
avoiding responsibility,
maturity,
and the terrors of the dead.
And it's going to be a
blast.
It's going to be on stars.
No, dude,
that makes sense
because Sam Raimi
and Tapper
and all those guys
that produced Evil Dead,
they produced Spartacus.
It's coming in 2015.
That's true.
That's true.
Fuck.
Letter time.
It's letter time,
you guys.
Was Nicholas
Pickles ever his real name?
Yeah, probably.
It was.
It's great, right?
We never decided that.
We never discovered it.
And I remember
fucking yesterday
when I do.
Yeah,
where we're like,
like,
what if,
because we're watching Guy,
and it's just like-
And there's a crazy DJ Guy
that's kind of old.
Right.
And you're like,
he's just fucking like,
he's doing all the cool stuff
for the kids.
And there might be
something else going on with
him, but we don't know.
And so we just started
running with him,
going like,
what if Nicholas Pickles
was an evil overlord
all along?
What if you had
evil nefarious plans?
And he always rigged
the games that the kids couldn't
play them.
Exactly.
And then we started questioning,
what do we know about this
Nicholas Pickles
as are?
You know,
like,
it's like you walk into his
apartment after he disappears
when we discover his identity
and you just see,
like,
walls of fucking blood
and sacrifices.
Upside-down crosses.
That name and that joke
took way too hard
for a shitty 90's
live action show.
Yeah.
Like,
too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
If you have a story
about how there's
too many cooks
and too many cooks,
you can send it to
too many cooks.
No.
No.
Super best friend cast
at gmail.com.
Is that it?
Too many cooks.
This is the worst case
of introitis I've ever seen.
If you guys think
that the best friends
have too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Spoiling the bra.
Then you can let us know.
The beast rebels
of the hellscape.
And you can let us know
at superbestfriendcast
at gmail.com.
Like,
oh man.
Beast rebels.
Champions.
What was it?
Like, optimized.
I didn't remember.
Don't.
Don't.
Don't.
Nothing.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
There are too many cooks
in here, you guys.
I wonder what the name
of this podcast is going to
be.
All right.
First you call it
Bigot Parade.
Yeah.
Oh, God, you're right.
Remember how,
remember that girl that sent
the email in?
It's like,
can you not call your
podcast area in
Resurrection, please?
Yeah.
That's what the Bigot Parade
will be.
It's true.
It'll be round two of that.
Area in Resurrection
is the top level.
It is, in fact,
the best.
Yeah.
First you call it
one thing, then another.
We got a message
from Bru.
And Bru says,
I want to know,
when does a quest
stop being a quest
and start being a mission?
The example he gives
is like,
in medieval fantasy games,
you go on a quest
to collect five bear arses
or get incredible riches.
And in sci-fi games,
you go on missions
to stop the rising AI
and kill some space guy
for space reasons.
But when does a side quest?
That's actually a problem
with the way that
these have been termed.
A quest in almost every
single game.
Like, okay,
when you get a side quest
from a guy,
that's a lie.
That's not a goddamn quest.
A quest is a long,
prolonged journey
that has multiple
parts to it.
It's a long,
overarching journey.
And a mission is
go do this thing.
I feel like
almost all side quests
are actually missions.
My answer on that
is that I think
there's two levels of,
I guess,
production,
I'll call it,
for every game that changes.
Because there will always be,
if the game has
nothing going on,
there will be
the go step,
go walk to the signboard
and sign up
for a challenge mission,
or you can get
the thing from your CO.
But a game like
thief,
if you remember,
right,
has the main mission
things going on,
and then it has
all the side quests,
which are better
than the main game.
Just as good
if not better.
So, you know,
Arkham City
has terrible missions.
It's got amazing side quests.
Side quests that have
multiple parts
that don't trigger
right away.
Like it was
when you find Azrael
is somewhere in that game.
Exactly.
And he appears
random spots
or after a certain
thresholds have been met
and that
was the best part
of Arkham City's side.
And there's
like on a
language thing,
like they're so close together,
like
the sneaking missions
in Metal Gear
are long
and protracted
and crazy enough
as to be a quest
for Solid Snake.
Together.
And quests often,
like the quest of
defeat the evil guy
often contain
missions,
like sneak into this thing
or get that thing
or kill that guy.
That was again.
If he has a quest
to get revenge
for his family that got killed.
And he has to undertake
multiple sessions
to do so.
That was a game
that had fucking
good side quests,
if you will,
Ground Zeroes.
Yeah.
I guess so, right?
Challenges outside
of the main mission.
You're right.
They were really good.
Honestly,
they're interchangeable
most of the time.
Vanquish had good side quests
as well then
but in that regard.
The whole title?
Yeah.
No,
I think it's
straight up
two levels of production.
Resident Evil 4
has fucking good side quests.
Assignment Aida
and Separate Ways?
I thought those side quests
were epilogues
and adenons.
Well,
one of them has
five full chapters
and you can save.
Assignment Aida,
yeah, it's short.
It's separate from the game.
It's weird.
I think of side quests
as something
that is happening
alongside your main
storyline.
Yeah,
sure.
You know,
either way,
semantics.
But there's
examples out there
of totally games
that have better fucking
side quests than main games
in the game.
Yeah,
of course.
We've got one coming in
from Sabi
and she basically says
you guys...
Wait,
do you mean like Zabi?
Not Zabi.
No,
not writer sting.
You can hold
the B.
No,
it's Zabi.
Zabi,
it is Zabi.
That's how you say it.
Anyway,
you guys seem to be
the hypest one
playing games
like Deadly Premonition
and Killer is Dead.
When I look at them,
all I see is a bad
to average game.
Can you explain
that to me?
And really broad.
And I believe
I got a tweet as well
asking the same question
because it was like,
because the swear we play through,
she's just like,
I don't get it.
What?
I think the answers,
they're niche
and us four
happen to really appreciate
that niche.
There's a certain
of your style.
Yeah.
I like,
this is the kind of thing
I would tell
Zabi to watch Twin Peaks
and Twin Peaks
is something where I can't really...
I adore
how fucking weird it is.
Right,
when I started Deadly Premonition,
I hadn't watched
the zero episodes
of Twin Peaks.
Yeah,
but you also,
you don't like other lynch stuff though.
I don't,
I'm not a big fan of other lynch stuff.
So that,
and the other lynch stuff
is way weirder than
the Devil Peaks.
It's like,
it's a differing taste
or it's like
your propensity
for certain kinds
of bizarreness
is different from ours.
That said,
like I can't speak
for Killer Instinct,
but like Deadly Premonition.
It was Killer's Dead.
Oh, Killer is Dead,
sorry.
You can't speak for that.
They all have
somewhat low production values.
They're not exactly
the height of polish.
I think a real thing
is that when the market
is oversaturated
with games
that just clone other games
and like the same
first person shooters
and third person shooters,
sometimes you just
want to have
a weird
like thing
that's rough around the edges.
Yeah,
it is so unique
and strange
that we
appreciate it.
We all play like
tons of games.
Over 100 new games a year.
We finish almost none of them.
Yeah,
but we all play
every year.
And when something is just
when I see something
in a game
and that's the only time
I've ever fucking seen it,
that has a lot of value.
The novelty of experience,
even in a lot of cases,
if that experience
isn't all that good.
There are parts
of Deadly Premonition
that suck shit,
but
they were new.
So I appreciated that.
There's some charm
in like
EDF style games
where it's ghetto,
but it's like
the best ghetto.
It's great
while being ghetto.
The concept
just snatches you away.
Yeah.
It grabs at your heart.
And I do have to say,
like James Small
introduced me
to a lot of
to that concept.
Sure.
This is so fucking
that's just
that's just like
the first party
Dreamcast library
in a nutshell.
That is
the concept
you're looking for
because those games
are fucking amazing
and so off the wall.
You couldn't sell that
for shit.
And it didn't.
And it didn't.
But damn,
those games are so good.
9999.
Or interesting,
at least.
A lot of them are good,
though.
Yeah.
No, a lot of them are
really good.
We got one coming in
from Crimming.
Crimming.
You know,
a lot of cool names
of swimming.
Yeah, exactly.
And he's from Sweden.
Yes,
I eat meatballs
like talk Swedish chef
and love IKEA.
You know,
that's his words.
You know,
that Swedish chef
was
a character, right?
Yeah,
he has the most death.
Yeah, he does.
And he's true to life.
That's why Hanson's Grave
says Bork Bork on it.
It does?
Are you fucking serious?
No.
I'd be okay with that.
Got ya.
Next letter.
Put Bork Bork on my grave.
Can I?
For real?
Yeah.
Cool.
All right.
Right under your shell, man.
Hey, here's the deal.
When I'm dead,
just for rock.
Fuck,
do I give a shit about nothing?
And even if I'm in
whatever afterlife, right?
In hell,
yeah, I'm really mad
about what happens on Earth.
Reincarnated
as fucking anything,
I don't think I'm going to be
able to appreciate
what you did to my grave.
Well,
well being pissed about something
that happens after you're dead
is more like an old
ancient world type thing.
Like I need my,
I need my generations ahead of me
to like do this or do that.
I want my name
to be buried
with my horse.
Like there was a long,
there was a long time
that I wanted when I died
to be loaded up into a catapult
and flinged at like a,
like a,
like I remember,
vividly it was going to be
Microsoft's like head office
at Redmond
because the idea of like
Bill Gates looking up and like
and bomber and big in Gates,
like looking up as my corpse just
splatters against their window.
Like I get a real kick out of that,
but like I'm not going to be able
to enjoy it.
No, cause you're going to be dead.
Cause I'll be dead.
So,
So you're,
you're totally,
you're okay if we string you up
and just fucking weekend at Bernie's
it.
Yeah, absolutely.
If you want to appreciate it,
we can kidnap Louis CK,
cut off like him at the knees,
put shoes on there
and do that to him.
I'm good with the bit of
the end of a big lapowski,
but intentional where you just,
you just cremate me
and then you go to a public place
with like a big fan,
like an airboat fan
and just,
and blast me into a bunch of people
walking out of a grocery store.
Like,
I hope a kid comes.
Now a little piece of me is inside you.
That's it.
My ghost.
I'm sorry.
What's criminal?
Sweetest question.
Just some food for thought
for your podcast.
It's a pretty detailed letter,
but just to cut to the core of it.
Why are there no good co-op horror
games?
Why do you think this genre
is so unexplored?
Because having,
having someone next to you
immediately decreases tension.
When you talk about obscure is great.
And he says like,
That's the only cop horror game.
Nope.
No another.
Probably a couple others,
but that one's a good review.
He's discussed it with several friends
and they say like,
A game can't be horror or co-op.
It can't be both.
And he's like,
That's bullshit.
I think there's,
he's like,
I have two examples.
One of the examples.
Co-op horror,
like one player is blind,
but can still hear things
and this player can interact
with surroundings.
The other player is deaf,
but can see things
and that player can interact
with this,
can't interact with surroundings.
And like,
you have asymmetrical gameplay.
That sounds outrageously frustrating.
To get out of it.
And also,
No, but
Yeah, sure.
But I love Guardian of Light though.
Um,
but that sounds really frustrating
and the,
the kind of thing that could,
first of all,
he clearly means online co-op
because couch co-op
ruins this concept.
Like all co-
horror concepts
are ruined
with couch co-op.
Because
I'm terrified of horror.
I don't agree.
Putting someone next to you
makes the game less scary
because you're not alone.
I'm still just as scared.
I think asymmetrical games
can introduce some fun stuff.
And why do you stream?
Sorry?
I thought you stream
so that people would like,
you know,
oh, we're all in this together.
Threat last.
Threat last.
I think if you're playing,
if you're playing a Wii U,
like, terrifying game
and you have,
you both,
two people have screens
and like,
one person knows something
the other doesn't,
or like,
your survival depends
on that person dying or some shit,
you could have some interesting
things going on there.
Even without using,
like,
new methods of input
and control and stuff,
like,
I think you could
have some additional horror
game really scary
with two players
just going at it.
I think you can just do it
just nobody wants to.
Yeah, other ideas
just don't necessarily fit that work.
I was going to say,
in Resident Evil Revelations,
remember,
you can play that cup.
Oh, the second one.
In Revelations 2,
rather, yeah.
Myra can't really attack,
but she heals,
but she's dead.
And has a flashlight.
Yeah,
but horror games aren't
horror games, though,
they're action games, man.
They're not horror.
Like,
you never played Revelations.
It's the most horror,
Resident Evil's been
in like ten years.
Okay.
What?
Resident Evil games are not,
you mean now?
No,
I'm saying,
I mean, like,
to call it,
like, a horror game.
Saying Resident Evil 1
is not,
that's what he's saying.
No, he's talking about Revelations.
Yeah,
he's talking about Revelations.
He's talking about Revelations.
Revelations is the most
horror game.
No,
Revelations,
like,
is like half-horror.
I should,
I should be clear.
I don't think it's impossible,
but I think the things I was saying
are the reasons
why it doesn't exist,
as of now.
He says,
I tried to find a good,
a good,
co-op horror game
to play with my friends
that isn't
kill X amount of zombies
and waves.
The kind of game that,
the only kind of games
that are out there
are like Left 4 Dead,
Killing Floor, Dead Rising,
etc.
They're not necessarily
scary or horror games,
you know.
I feel like I'm working
in kind of scary.
I'm pretty sure Sonic Lost
World has co-op.
I'm pretty sure
a lot of Sonic games
have co-op.
Yeah,
dude,
honestly,
I just think.
Well, I didn't mention
that is
two-player survival horror games.
And I'm secure too,
as well.
There's
fucking Resident Evil Outbreak
and they tried
really hard
and that game's
a fucking mess.
Okay,
how about a horror game
that's like,
you're like,
an isometric camera
or top view kind of thing.
One player's controlling
the character
and the other person has
a Wiimote that's a flashlight.
That's revelation.
That's revelation.
That's what that's like.
That's exactly what
that game is.
That's exactly what
that game is.
That's why I brought it up.
Okay,
but does it actually
have like,
yes,
yes,
yes.
And you discounted it
and then came up
with the idea independently
after discounting it.
Okay,
because when I think of
RE Modern RE,
I really don't...
In Revelations 1,
you can play as Chris
and you can play as Jill.
When you're playing Jill,
you're walking around
in a creepy environment
and you have to unlock doors
and go around
and shoot things occasionally.
Chris's section
is all shooty.
It's all shooty bang bangs.
So it's not
waves of zombies.
No.
Well, for Chris,
it's...
In Jill,
they tried really hard
to get back to the old
reasonable thing.
And in Revelations 2,
it's just your
Claire
and then you're
the partner
and that's it.
Okay.
And more spirals
of cock.
More spirals of cock.
I still don't think
that there's a lot
of exploration going on
in the show,
of course.
And there could be more.
Yeah,
definitely.
Maybe it's just
hard.
No,
it's not.
Because that's what I said
and what Liam said.
And then,
like,
dad, that sounds super hard
and if you're going to
make a horror game,
it'd just be so much easier
to just make it a
single-player horror game.
It's so much easier
to do spooky things
when you...
There's only one player
you've got to worry about.
I can see there being
a real market.
Let's try to get people
that like to be scared
but are like,
I'm going to be too scared.
So I want to partner.
You know what I mean?
But actually make
a scary game.
That said,
if you drink enough,
every game feels
like your left brain
and your right brain.
Oh, no.
Oh, I'm not doing it.
Oh, jeez.
Oh, vomit.
We got a quick one.
That's scary.
Quick one from...
Vomiting's no fun, man.
Nobody likes puking.
Some people do.
Quick one from
Elise York.
That's what it says.
No, it's not.
Two rounds?
Probably an anagram.
Two rounds
or two life bars?
Oh,
either or.
He means three rounds, right?
Two rounds.
Two...
Best of two rounds?
Either or.
Two life bars.
It's not a good preference.
I guess two rounds.
But I like two life bars
because it's so much faster.
It's faster.
Two life bars is more balanced.
It is.
It actually is.
So I say two life bars.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Two rounds.
Two rounds.
I was like,
how is that balanced?
No, no, no.
Sorry.
Two rounds.
I think two life bars
is like, it's really fun,
but I think I'd prefer two rounds.
Yeah.
I agree with that.
Having two life bars is super cool,
but it's really fun.
But it's like,
yeah, you're right.
It gets you in these fucking situations.
That said,
if the game's built for it,
like Dark Stockers and Killer Instinct
and stuff,
it feels really good.
When you get a lead
in a two life bar game...
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck, man.
And also,
if you can come back from that,
way more hype than if it was two rounds.
Definitely.
Neaton,
it's an interesting point of contention.
What's going on?
What's going on?
What are we watching?
I'm watching you pick emails out.
We're done with emails.
We'll be watching.
I'm staring at my own penis.
I'm...
Yeah, put it away.
I won't take.
Put it away.
Oh, it is away.
It is away.
Oh, jeez.
Yeah.
I'm excited for the first time
in a long time,
because there's a Tales game
coming out this week,
and I haven't played a Tales game
to any seriousness
since Tales of Battagia.
I've bought all those Tales games,
and I never played any of them.
That's true.
You won't like all of them.
Don't worry.
You can just throw them up
and throw them into a blender
and then get one Tales game out of it.
Yeah, exactly.
Tales of Hearts R comes out this week,
and I'm actually going to get the game.
I know.
I like saying it,
because you just get super salty.
It's super quick.
I'm actually going to give that a swing.
Digimon Rumble comes out.
Wow.
I'd love to take a look at it
with you guys when that's out.
Oh, he's putting this
on the fucking spot.
That's what he's trying to do.
Hey, if Matt's allowed to do it...
He remembers the reaction
that we gave him
of a complete fucking negative yesterday.
And he's like,
well, if I put you on the spot
during the pocket...
It's going to change, right?
People will ask you.
They'll ask me to do stuff with men.
I was like, yeah.
No guarantees,
but I'd like to take a look at that.
You mother fucker.
Hey, I want to.
It's Digimon.
Come on.
Do it yourself.
You love Digimon, Matt.
I don't.
I really don't.
Look at him hiding this.
He's doing a good job.
It's five mile grin.
It's what?
What is the five mile grin?
I've never heard of it.
What did the country boy say?
That's a country boy.
That's a country thing, actually.
Matt just broke your arm.
Well, you got to power on
your PC for everything.
I was just sitting here.
Yeah, so...
He was.
Apparently I'm the only person
that can live in an apartment
and not knock shit over all the time.
The fuckers?
But you have house set-apedes
and we don't.
I walked by one of my neighbors
has a fucking thing on their door
that says,
get ready for the regularly scheduled
inspection for parasites.
And it's like eight doors down
from my apartment.
And it's only on that one.
Only on that one.
It's an inspection, dude.
Calm down.
But that must mean they used to have
parasites and they might still
have parasites.
Lots of parasites.
Yeah.
I love how that's just a generic
par...
Like, what do you mean?
You mean like...
Not ants, not senate bees.
Parasites.
Parasites.
So like Amanda, for example.
She's a parasite freeloader.
There you go.
I don't know.
I'm going to see Interstellar
tonight.
So that should be fun.
I hear it's good.
I hear it's either really good
or the most ponderous bullshit
you've ever seen.
That's also true.
It's divisive.
I can deal with ponderous
bullshit.
I don't know.
Senran Kagura comes out this
week.
You got to play that shit.
It's a rhythm game.
Cover the world.
Yeah, it's a rhythm game
because you have to watch those
things bounce up and down.
Yeah, there's a rhythm to it.
Well, you don't like boobs.
You're on the spot now,
Wally.
You're talking to me?
Yeah.
I'm talking to everyone.
I'm like, you're talking to
him because I'm like...
You know me.
You know me.
I hate that shit.
Wally just hates it.
Turn that shit around.
Yeah, tape it up.
Just get that out of my face.
But you've got that in this
game.
It's got both.
Yeah, it's hometown.
And that's why it's such a shame
that you can't stare at the
asses so you're only playing 50%
of the game.
You can, man.
No, you can't.
I can if I want to.
But you don't want to.
Not all the time.
You can't handle that shit.
Not on every one of them.
On some girls, it's like
yeah.
Wally's like, just give me an
ironing board with an ass.
Every once in a while,
I just text Liam a picture of
an ass and he drops his phone
just wherever he is.
Yeah, but then I'll be at Pat's
and he'll go to the bathroom
and I'll peek around the corner
at him, you know?
That Brazilian heritage
runs strong in this guy.
We're watching Guy.
We're watching Guy.
We're watching Guy.
We're watching Guy.
We're watching Guy.
We're watching.
There was so much bullshit
that happened during Guy.
And Pat's like, hey, Liam,
shut your mouth.
Or I'll touch your dick.
And Liam's like, no.
No, it was he.
He yawned.
I yawned.
And he says, you fall asleep.
I'm touching your dick.
Yeah.
And I was like, I'll catch the
bus.
I'll see you guys later.
You know?
Do your thing.
And then Liam yawned again
and was like, oh, I'm stretching
out.
Don't act like we don't both
benefit or whatever the
thing is.
Yeah.
I said it's only benefits for
me.
Right.
So even when the camera's off,
we can't escape.
Can't stop.
Can't escape.
Can't stop.
Just sexualizing.
Yeah.
You're playing the boob game.
Yeah.
So that's what's going on.
That's what's going on.
I guess I'm going to buy a
Assassin's Creed Unity.
I don't know.
I already bought it.
I don't even, or play it.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
No, there's a difference.
Maybe I should.
I guess I'm going to play.
I'm probably going to buy it
and not play it.
I should boot watch dogs.
I should boot watch dogs.
I should boot watch dogs.
That's what I should do.
Watch dogs was really boring.
But look, that's where I'm at.
You know, I just want China.
Watch dogs literally feels like.
You got Rise right here.
That's a better game.
No.
I like those.
It's a way better game.
Yeah.
I know.
Play Rise or.
Watch dogs really feels like
Assassin's Creed 1.
Like man, not enough time in the
oven, which is hilarious.
It's been delayed for like nine
months.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then Channel Wise.
Well, I'm going to do.
Website Wars.
Throw them all out.
Dude, we're not going to run.
Just throw them out.
We don't care.
It was actually like.
As much as like Unity.
I don't know.
I'm actually looking forward to
it.
Cool.
Because I thought about it.
It was like the checking the
boxes.
Side quest design of Assassin's
Creed game.
That just gets you.
Fulfills like a very specific
itch.
That I need.
Once a year.
Right.
Like once a year.
Ubisoft.
Once every November 12.
Yeah.
Pretty much.
November.
That being said.
I'm going to play a bunch of it.
And if that game sucks.
Boy.
Are you going to hear about it
next week?
Yeah.
To the nth degree.
In the exact ways of how.
Yeah.
So yeah.
What's coming up?
Obviously.
Evil within.
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow.
You know, that's going to be
going down.
Guac is about to wrap.
And then it'll.
Luchador wraps.
Yeah.
It'll box about to wrap up.
And then it'll be followed with.
A new LP.
The new LP, which.
Do we know what game it is?
Yeah.
Have you told me what game it is yet?
I don't know what game I LP'd.
Yeah.
The new.
We're doing.
Legend of Korra.
Him and I are doing Korra.
Not the Webfoot one.
The platinum one.
That's the one.
I hear that.
All right.
They put out a little game called
Bayo 2 recently.
So.
I was kind of keen on Korra.
I made the mistake of beating
Bayo 2 before really diving in.
That's a mistake.
I can't.
I literally can't.
No.
You're going to have to wait a few
months.
Dark Souls is coming back.
Dark Souls is coming back.
Holy shit.
Where are you guys up to again?
The third DLC.
The first DLC.
We did the second DLC.
And now we're doing the first one.
Yeah.
Okay.
You know.
But like as will be described on the
camera, it was just like we did.
There was a rust period.
Yeah.
We fucking.
We zoned and all the way up to Fume
Night and then left for over a month.
Yeah.
And came back to it.
Yeah.
And then it's like now continue from
here and it was like.
Now fight these super hard optional
bosses.
So it's coming back.
Just give us some time to actually
make them.
Acclimate our dicks.
Because you know the head start we
did over the course of the month we
were gone is now over.
And yeah.
I saw some people going like I need
Dark Souls.
Yeah.
Like.
No.
Dude, you're messaging me about it.
And it's just like.
We have to make more.
We have to make more.
That's how it works man.
Stop cooking vacations.
Dude that fucking.
That computer that I bought to put
in my arcade cabinet.
It's the funniest thing.
I tested it when I bought it and it
was fine.
Okay.
And then I left it alone for a
while.
And now I came back to turn it on
again.
Turn it on.
Just hit the power button.
It's right next to the couch.
Just turn it on.
I don't know what.
Whoa.
No.
Keep it.
Keep it going.
No.
Keep it going.
That's what happens.
That's what happens.
And then.
And then.
Wait a minute.
It gets worse.
Let it started boot up.
What is.
What is.
This is his computer.
This is.
I don't know.
What the fuck.
What is that?
It's the power supply engine.
After a little while it gets way worse.
Yeah.
Now it sounds like an air conditioner.
Now it sounds like a jet engine.
Yeah.
Shut it down.
Yeah.
I was going to say people don't like it.
What did you put in there?
I didn't touch it.
I didn't do anything to it.
I left it alone.
Does it boot into a screen?
No.
It just makes that noise and nothing
pops up on your face.
You've got a noise box.
But that's either your motherboards screaming
at you that it's busted or the power
supply saying this is not safe to turn
on.
It is the power supply and the fan.
You're talking to, like, you fed your child
wrong.
And it's screaming.
That's what Pat's hearing when a computer
does that.
No.
Here's the thing.
All I've got to do is...
In the last little while where I've been going
inside the guts of my PC, I've started to
identify what different kinds of noises
are.
There's some that are harmless but annoying.
That is not harmless but annoying.
That is your PC dying.
Yes.
But again, it's a system I never used.
It was simply to be an arcade thing for the
minute and that's all what happened.
It was cheap.
It was a couple hundred bucks.
It's nothing.
It was nothing so that's where the fuck that's
at in case you guys were wondering.
Oh, my God.
Anyways, see y'all next week.
See y'all next Friday.
Bye.
Good luck.
Take care.
How many cooks?
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
Take some back.
Too many cooks.
Too many cooks.
That's too many cooks.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Wow.