Castle Super Beast - SBFC 069: We are all Waluigi
Episode Date: December 2, 2014This week on the friendcast: New game announcements, Xbox Japan, Ubi Thx, Jurrassic World, Star Wars and CM Punk!...
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The End
We kicked ass
Amazing time for that lady
I don't think she kills him
No, no, he tries to kill her and then she kills him
It was the one-armed man
I've never seen it
You've never seen it?
No, never
It's pretty good
It's pretty good
It's the trilogy of Ashley Judd running around movies
Are you familiar with the concept?
Ashley Judd running around movies
Have you ever heard of the movie Double Jeopardy?
No
Okay, so Double Jeopardy is
Ashley Judd has an idyllic life with her husband
They were rich white people, right?
Okay
And they go out on a fucking yacht cruise
And she wakes up in the middle of the night
And there's blood everywhere
And he's just gone
And she gets back
And there's evidence all over the boat
Framing her for the murder
So she goes away
Okay
And then when she's in jail, like, locked up
Like, actually doing the time convicted
The husband calls her
To tell her that I have the kids
And I'm gonna go have a new life as a new man with my secretary
So fuck you
So then she breaks out of jail
And is like, I'm gonna kill that motherfucker
And Tommy Lee Jones
I don't know if he's the actual same character from the fugitives
From the fugitives
But he might as well be
He's a US Marshal or government man
Going to track her down
And the basic deal is that
You can't be convicted for the same crime twice
So she has a free pass to kill him
Yeah
Double Jeopardy
Because that's how the law works, right?
Yeah
And like, if I kill you, then what?
You're gonna kill me again
I'm already currently serving time for that murder
I'll just go back to jail
And serve the rest of my time
And Tommy Lee Jones is trying to stop her
And one of the trailer shots is like
All of them in a room with guns
And he's like, I don't actually have to stop her
It's a really cool movie
It takes place mostly in New Orleans
If I remember correctly
These legal loopholes
That's total horseshit
That's not a real thing
I know
That's exactly like coming up with the legal loopholes
When I say Ashley Judd Trilogy of running around me
Along came a spider and kissed the girls
Where she's just running around
She's either the victim or the detective
And then Morgan Freeman is the guy
That's behind her in the poster
You know what I mean?
Yeah, floating in the sky
The Ouch Cross, that shit
God, the fucking tagline for this movie
Murder isn't always a crime
That's great
I wish you had a t-shirt that says that
It's not always a crime
That's really good
That is sometimes circumstances
You have all these movies that are based off of loopholes
That aren't real
Like, that doesn't...
No, like she went to jail for the murder
On the boat of her husband
If she just shoots him in the middle of the street
That's a different murder
Maritime law changes everything
Maritime law changes some stuff
But what if I shoot him in the sky?
That's legal, right?
That's a sky cross
Yeah
If I kill him with a harpoon underwater
That's different
It could be racist there
What?
Underwater racism
Oh, wait, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay
It could be racist underwater
And you just said husband and wife can't get convicted
Of the same crime
Dude, come on
You know, husband and wife can't be convicted
Of the same crime
It's a fact
It's a fact
I learned it on Arrested Development
How could he lie to me?
How could that lead you astray?
Jeffrey Tambor is a treasure
Everything that that man is in
Is astounding
I love him
I gotta find out more about this double jeopardy
And what an inactive
Yeah
Find out previous crimes I've already committed
And go commit them again
And commit them harder
Wow
Good stuff, good stuff
Unfortunately, he doesn't have like a jump off of a bridge
Where there's like a big dumb stupid dummy
Falling into the water like the fugitive does
Like a train, like a gun
Like he doesn't have that
Unfortunately, there's no big stunts
No
It's episode 69
Oh, no
My favorite episode
I wish I had everyone servicing everyone
Hold on, can I get a belt noise?
Yep, there you go
That's it
That's the noise
Have you guys, do you know anything about
Those, like that position?
Because that sounded like nothing
No, it's like an oreboros
You do it a different way
There's clearly only one way to do it
We can draw up some
Schematics
Schematics, alright, sure
Yeah
Yeah
It's like, it's like sex
The episode
Just throwing those punchlines out
For your ears
You know, you might think that we're like
Really immature, but like
On episode 69 of Dark Souls
It's the most common comment
They're like, oh it's like
I was like, yeah
This is where the one word really sucks it
So we're still not
We're still not
Comments
Is that what you're saying?
What?
So we're still not YouTube comments?
Is that what you're saying?
Yeah
If you want to listen to YouTube comments
Congealed into an object
Listen to this super best friend cat
God
At 69.com
Yeah
Thanks, Obama
Alright, someone talk about their week
Alright
So
Nothing
I want, this is gonna
Wow
I lost my Blizzard Authenticator ages ago
It's on an old phone
Those people did
Well good
And every like two months
I'm like
When Diablo 3 came out on PS4
If you linked your accounts
You would be able to
Get like a special item, right?
And when I wanted to do that
That was the day that Blizzard was getting
DDOS stalled to shit
Yeah
Right, so I go into the like
Can you please remove my authenticator?
No we can't
The system is dead
The website is crashing
You can't even call
Right, so I'm like
Okay, fuck it
So a couple days ago
I was like
I actually want to be able to
Access like Diablo 2
And stuff like that
That I've already bought
So I'll go through the process
It should be fine now
So I'm on the phone with the guy
Or no, I'm doing that live chat thing
Where you're just typing it out
Yeah
And
I'm always convinced that you're talking to a robot
Not a robot
No this is
This was clearly a human being
Okay, well of course
So, and we go through the process
Like what's your secret question
Blah blah blah blah
And he sets me up
And I got the new authenticator
And so now I have the backup codes
And can get into it
And he's like
So by the way
Mr. Patrick
Why did you call today
To, oh why did you contact us today
To get your authenticator removed
I'm like I just thought
I should do it
It's like
Does it have anything to do
With the warlords of Draenor expansion
Like
No
Not really
It's like
Well because I see that you're
Wow
And I go
Yeah okay
So I'm just going to go ahead
And put 14 days on your account
And I look
And it's like 14 days
And I'm looking at the accounts
Like
Why does this say
I have the Pandera expansion
It's like
Oh we just
We just gave those to everybody
Yeah
Yeah
Because no one would buy it
And then
And here's where it got
Really nuts
I made the mistake
Of going like
Oh that's really nice
Like you guys do it
Like I quit back in like
2009
Like after
The throws and throw
Like
So did you
Like
I gotta ask
Because I'm just curious
Because I couldn't get an answer anywhere
The graphics update
That they put on Draenor
Is that
Everything
Or is it just
The character models
I think it's just a character model
And he's like
It's all the character models
But some of these things
Have been rebalanced
Actually since 2009
Yeah
Because he gets pulled into the conversation
Actually since 2009
Like it's kinda nuts
Like how many interface changes
We've made
And it's like
He's throwing me
He's throwing me this
He's telling me
Okay so
It's like his job
He's by the way saying
Like by the way
Thoughtbot
And I forget what the other one was
But the two big ones
That you'd use as
As mods
Don't use those anymore
They're virus infested
Use this one
This one's good
And it's like
It's going
And going
And going
Like that sounds really cool
We haven't seen it
And he's like
What character
Did you play last
I'm like
Drew it's like
You know we put in a new
Like moon fire
Right son
Hold on
Hold on right there
As he's saying that
Wully I bet you
The guy that he's talking to
Is like Leonardo DiCaprio
And Wolf of Wall Street
Where he's like
Make you
Exactly
And he's like
Like he's spreading
Pat's metaphorical
Ashes
As he's
He's preparing to drill it home
Like
Yeah man 14 days
I don't know
You think you want to maybe
You want to
Like
So
Go on
He's
Stop teasing
So
He's spitting on his head
Right now
And he's
And here's where
I'm like
Okay thanks
Thanks a lot man
So here's the thing now
And this where
It gets really nuts
So all
Blizzard games
Have changed
At some point
It's no longer
The client
And then the client
Right
It's steam now
It's you have the
Battle.net
Program
And that auto
Signs in all the time
So you no longer have to
Put a year
Wow credentials or whatever
Yeah yeah
And it
Starts
Like
Auto
Downloading wow
Yep
Yep
And
Like within
Five minutes
It's ready
It's sitting there
It's just
Like it's my fast internet
And all that
And I'm just like
All you gotta do is click on it
And I'm like
Well I kinda want to see
What the new models look like
What you think they make
You can replace
Every product name
In this conversation
With drug names
With drugs
Exactly
Tweaking
And Beth
And it's like
I want
You know what
I don't think it started auto
Downloading
I think I started it
And forgot
And then
I'm like
At like
Nothing happens
And then I'm
In
Take a little peek
I'm in
Durotar
Running around
As an orc
And going
These or
They really improve
Hold on
Hold on
Wait for it
Wait for it
They really improve
Like the animations on these spells
And they
They tell
And I'm like
This is pretty good
And then
I go on Facebook
And I tell this story
To a friend of mine
And he starts
Screaming at me
Stop
Stop
You have a life now
And like
It ends like
I will tell your girlfriend
I will
I will snitch you out
Right now
She will be
You're gonna
And like
And it's like an hour
And I realize
I didn't delete it
I didn't
Uninstall it
It's still going
And I'm like
Okay
I have to delete this
I have to get rid of this
Pat's on the phone
He's like
My wife
I should maybe
I should
No
No
Your wife
Who makes the decisions here
Do you want this money
Or not like
Just like that
Alright
Throw me
And I'm all in
Liam
You brought it up
Perfectly
I have never personally
Like
This is
This is literally
All the help staff
Are also
Sales staff
That are there
To
You have a lapsed
Well account
Then you have a problem
And they're gonna
They're gonna jump on it
And we're gonna fix you up
But it's like
It's next level dealers
It's not
It's like
If you were a crack
If you were a crack head
Right
It's the equivalent
Of the only people
You can get
Like medical services from
Are pushers
That see
A big
You are a crack head
Your forehead
You
I can never
Blizzard help
Will never not know
Cause then
I played
Wow
And they know
Just how many expansions
I bought
They know
When I quit
And why
You've got to claim
Your Patrick
Boevin's son
And that your father
Has passed away
And you inherited
His account
Hey
You kid
You know
What made you feel better
Some world work
Graph
You should see
The new updates
So just the pushing
I was in there
For about half an hour
Just from that
Half hour
I can
I felt it
And was like
This is why
No one can beat this game
Like this
Everything about the way
It feels
The interface
Is designed so that
It can't be beat
It has been
Iterated on for like
Ten years now
Like
Nobody can come in
And beat this
It's absurd
Okay
So we're going to have
Wow for a long
Works on a long
Remember how
The light
Is EverQuest
One still on
I think it is
Not one
I think it is
We're going to be with
Wow
In the world
For like
Twenty more years
Dude
Let's start with it
This game can last a fuck
Long time
You know the
Numbers for warlords of drain
Or like
Way up
Yeah exactly
After like
Years of going down
Yeah Pandaren
Didn't bring people back
And now it's
Above
Cataclysm drove people away
Like
You know
So I think that's
Right now
Just talking about it
Just talking about it
Like I won
The fact you booted it up
That means you won
Yeah the fact that
I booted it up
You went back
That's fine
But I was able
You did his job
You fought it off
The thing is
I would think about
It's like okay
Why did I quit
I quit because
The higher level stuff
Is all groups
And raids
And stuff
And I hate it
Like if that game
Was really great
All the way through
I would have no problem
Being addicted to it
If it was a box at a point
Like
No
If you could have crack
That was good forever
And you'd never stop
Getting high
You'd just never stop
Using crack
Yeah just don't
Because why would you
Why
Exactly
There's no dance line
Blizzard being run
By the Canadian Devil
That's clearly it
That's literally
What's going on here
It's
I was blown away
Also
I forgot to talk about this
Two weeks ago
I had somebody
Knock on my door
And ask me
How happy I was
With my internet service
What happened
So
Where's the party?
Anyone who remembers last time
Words were spoken
And this time was awkward
Because it was a guy
Did you need a dinner party
For three
This guy was clearly a guy
Who knew what he was doing
He was the
The guy who does it
And with him
Was the
Like 19 year old trainee
Like girl
Who's like just doing
Like this
This building must be the first
No she has to do it
Oh
And I'm like
I can't just blow up
Right in the girl's face
Because that will ruin her life
Right
So I'm like
Hey guys
So you're from Bell
Huh
I told you guys
Never to come back
And I had a huge fight
With that guy
And the guy goes
Damn it
I knew it
What
And he turns
He has the bell
Laniered
And he flips it
And it's his company
Bell is now hiring
Subcontractors
To go to homes
To go to homes
Because when people
See the bell truck
Or the
Or the shirt
At the department
They just don't open the door
Oh
Sure
I mean
It makes sense
Think about how many subscribers
They have as well
So let's put the fucking
Sheeps clothing on
Yeah
And I'm like
Oh man that sucks
He's like
You better believe it sucks
And I said
Okay bye guys
And it was a nice
Goodbye
So that guy
Those two
Were probably having
A real rough day
Yeah
Especially since this is a
Mainly videotron building
So you let them skate
I let them skate
Because they had no chance
They're just the messenger
Yeah
They're just the messenger
They're not no murder to them
Yeah
So that's the blights
Boy
That's quite a
Wow thing
As for games I've been playing
So last week I was playing
A lot of Dragon Age
I said that I was going to
Start Baldur's Gate
Yeah forget Dragon Age
Forget that
You know
So go to the thing
That made Bioware famous
Yeah
Baldur's Gate
Came out in 98
And that enhanced edition
Is real good
It's real real real good
And there were a couple things
That I was talking to Liam about
That I just could not believe
You spend like
Four hours in that game
At level one
At level one
Like that game
And I looked it up
The level cap is eight
It's eight
It's the polar opposite
Of more than eight
It's a hundred hour game
And the max
You can get with
Most of the characters
Is eight
I think the highest one is ten
That's so weird and different
From now
Yeah
Yeah
And there's something
To be said about that
It's been a long, long time
At level one and two
And if you play to Mage
Then go fuck yourself to death
Because that's one bad role
And you die
And that's interesting
Because that's right away
The opposite of what you were
Just talking about
Which is like
Things that make games addictive
Constantly leveling
Makes it addictive
Because you feel like
The next level is right around
The corner
The design is to have
The ping on the screen
Every 15 minutes
For the first eight hours
After that eight hours
You trickle it off
Because it's hard to maintain that
It's like
They actually
They actually did it
Well, this is how games used to work
Or Western games like this
It's like when you get
When you hear the ding
Holy church bells are ringing
Holy shit
It is not
I am like
A Final Fantasy level
I'm slightly stronger
It's not a modern RPG
I'm slightly stronger
It is an enormous change
To your gameplay
If you have a fighter class
Your health is double now
It's not five percent more
It's doubled
It's a huge, huge deal
And that game is awesome
That game held up unbelievably well
Well, in no part
The Enhanced Edition adds stuff
Like easier looting
And it adds rest until healed
Which is a fucking
So some modern things
But the core game is fantastic
And there are weird jokes in that game
That worry me
Because they're exactly the same now
There's a weird ranger you run into
Who's going crazy about how he can smell
Ogre's one thing over
Now he's gonna murder him
And the guy's name is Bub Snit
Yeah, okay
And it's like
That shouldn't be relevant anymore
That's from fifteen
Sixteen years ago
That game was made
Yeah
Then making jokes about Wolverine
Saying Bub
I saw a video about
Someone said there's this joke in Dragon Age 2
And like
When did Dragon Age 2 came out
Like four, three, four years ago?
2009
There's a joke in Dragon Age
Where some woman character goes like
Step one, we fight them
Step two, step three, profit
That's not gonna last
Step three question mark
That was still like five years or more
After that episode of South Park came out
That's the example of a joke that's like
So why?
And there's a bunch of little things in these
That it's like
You know the streamlining of games has
In a lot of ways given us better games
And I appreciate it
But like
This game uses D&D 2
Do you remember what Thacko actually means?
What does it mean?
To hit Armor Class Zero
How do you calculate it?
Yeah
Yeah, exactly
Right?
And it's like
All the rest to learn your spells
And all this shit from the ancient
And it's like
Read the 144 page manual
To understand how to play the fucking game
So that stuff
I can appreciate being streamlined
But like
In this game
Like the first two party members you can pick up
Are evil
And hate you
And constantly
Constantly talk shit about you
If you do good things
And if you become too good
They leave
Well
It's better than starting a game
Within 15 minutes
Having childhood friend
And friendly old man
Well, childhood friend actually
Is the first party member in Baldur's Game
They also hate you though
Sure, but not
Yeah
But no
And it's like
There are 25 characters in that game
You can have on your team
There are not
And it's not the thing of like
Well, hey, I meant
So I'll use Mass Effect 1 as an example
You start with the magic guy
And the brute with Caden and Ashley
And then you get Rex
And then you get Tally
And it's like
Within the early game
You have everybody
Absolutely everybody
In this
I have the full party of six
And I meet somebody new that I like
It's like
Well, I have to dump someone to get them
I have to go
Okay, I need a cleric
So, Garrick, get the fuck out of here
And Garrick goes, okay
And he leaves
Some characters just stay
At wherever they're supposed to
He's gone
He's gone forever
I better not want him back
There are NPCs that run up to you
That are evil
And if you save them
They'll join up
But since they're evil
The ability to go
No, you're evil
And just kill them
Still exists
Still exists
Which causes probably
The weirdest part about Baldur's Game 1 and 2
Makes me understand why Mass Effect was created
In Baldur's Game 1
There are several party members
That are in Baldur's Game 2
And can also be party members
You can kill all of them
And then when you start Baldur's Game 2
Despite you being the same character
They either don't know you
Or
Or, hey, I remember you
Not, hey, you killed me
Right, yeah, yeah, yeah
Okay
So Mass Effect was designed to be the opposite of that
Yeah, it's like, okay
We should probably carry these over
Because Baldur's Game 1 and 2
And its expansion are a trilogy
And very much like Mass Effect
But those things, those are immersion shattering
Those are...
Yeah, yeah, yeah
And just that gets hard, man
You meet her in the bar and she's alive
And you're like, yeah, I just have to kill her
Like Baldur's Game...
Right now
Or I'm just losing this game
And it's not hard
Like the enemy has lots of health or whatever
Like you go all the way east
You run into a zone
It's nothing but basilisks
Like, okay, that's not so bad
In regular pen and paper D&D
So you go to them
By the time I walk towards the fucking things
Half my team is petrified
And I don't have anything
Because you're low level
The whole game
You don't have anything to solve this
Deal with that, yeah, yeah
So I'm like, um
Okay, I'll go look around
And see if I can get a petrification protection
Something
Like it's awesome
It's fantastic
Also something that more games should do
All the side content in this game
Is harder than the critical path
The critical path is the easiest thing to do
In the whole game
By a huge margin
Which is weird
Because usually you do a side quest
To get a piece of equipment
Or a loot or a reward
To then make the critical path easier
Easier, yeah
In this case, I guess it's like
Your side quest is
Those are your challenges
The critical path is like
Critical path is like 15 hours
In the game is like 100
It's kind of fallout-y in that way
But the critical path is so easy
That after I went to the first town
And did all the side quests
I then went to do the mines
Which is the next part of the critical path
And you're fighting cobalts there
And I realized like really early on
It's like
Everyone in my team is wearing plates
The cobalts are unable to hit me
Because of the way Thacko works
Like their weapons literally
Don't have the roles necessary
Unless they're natural 20s
To even hit my party
Like that's how easy you can make it
It's awesome
So that game does the old PC thing
That more games need to do
Baldur's Gate 1's expansion
Was not an extra like
Story bit
It just added things to the world map
It just, okay here's
Here's this tower
That wasn't here before
I didn't even
I looked up like
What's in the expansion?
Where does it happen?
It's like
Okay you know those areas?
Those are the expansion
Like
Oh
Oh
Okay
Yeah
And I guess the last thing
That I'm really getting a kick out of
And it's weird
Because I never got into Forgotten Realms
But it's
Remember when every D&D game
Was Forgotten Realms
Every single one of them
I stuck to Dragonlands
You had
Well but
You had
All the
You had Menzo Baran
You had
Eye of the Beholder
You had all those
And they all took place
In Forgotten Realms
I think it's the dental stuff as well
I guess a lot of people just forgot
Yeah
A lot of them forgot
But it got like
It got a kick out of me
When people are talking about
Like
Oh yeah I'm from Waterdeep
And like
Eyes of the Beholder 2
Is one of my favorite games ever
That's where Eye of the Beholder 2
Takes place
And
People are like
You get a unique item
It's like
Oh this is from Mythdranor
I'm like
That's where Eye of the Beholder 3
Takes place
And it's really nice to
Like
Imagine
Imagine like
Imagine all character action games
Canonically took place
In the same universe
In the same universe
Yeah
Right?
Imagine all shooters took place
Like that's really cool
I think all modern shooters
Do take place
Yeah you're right
It's the modern world
Or the modern future
Earth
But yeah
No I
Stop playing Dragon Age entirely
And I'm
27 hours in a
Baldur's Gate 1
So what are you going to go back to
Maybe
But like Baldur's Gate 1
And then Baldur's Gate 2
And then Throne of Baal
And then
Divinity
Then Wasteland
I have a lot of RPGs
World of Warcraft
No
Yeah
But playing the Enhanced Edition
Really made me happy because
You know when you go back to an old game
That's really old
And you go
Uh oh
I can't appreciate this anymore
Deus Ex
Deus Ex is one
Is one of those
It's like it's too long ago
And the interface
And mechanical
Plexity problems
Are just too much
For me to go back
Why doesn't it just do this?
Why doesn't it just
Calculate this automatically?
Why do I have to type in
The keyboard
Why would you make the fucking bar
In an RTS vertical
Yeah
Battle for Dune
Yeah that would be an hour time
Thank you
Wasteland
And Command and Conquer
Like the vertical RTS
Oh my god
Oh I can't
But I tried to play him
For Battle for Dune
Like two months ago
And I was like
I used to love this game
Now I can't even fuck at it
But now
Now that I've found out
That like
I can go back to
The earliest of the
Infinity engine games
I can now do Baldur's Gate 2
I can now do Icewind Dale
That's it
This is a fancy remake
Yeah
But also
Even at the worst
Because it was the oldest
Yeah of course
Like Temple of Elemental Evil
That's better UI stuff
And oh god
Yeah Torment
Well you and I
Were talking about
Torment the other day
And then you stopped
And you said
All you want to see
Is what can change
The nature of a man
And you said
There were eight answers
I looked up the screenshot
There are 14 answers
To that question
And 12 of them are the truth
Okay
I just remember seeing that
Screenshot when
Yeah you gave me a shot
And that screenshot
Is why I'm excited
For Project Eternity
I can see that
Your fucking desktop background
Yeah it's Project Eternity
I watched
Remember when I said
I'd watch all the Eternity
Backer updates
You caved
After the game came out
I read all of them
The other night
All of them
Just to get yourself rehyped
Well I
And then I'm like
Well that
And the other thing
Is that playing through
Baldur's Gate
I'm like
God I needed to do so much
D&D2 reading
To even know how this game worked
So I wanted to look up
With the actual
How did dice rolls
Work in this fucking system
How does health
Work in this system
Etc
And
Oh that game's gonna be so good
That game's gonna be so good
They delayed it
Isn't that the best
Yeah
They delayed
Obsidian
Finally got
To delay a game
Yeah
Finally
Instead of Bethesda
Forcing them to push it out
To the board
They said hey guys
We really just want to polish it
And fix bugs
Bad string of
That's
Oh
Well they got to delay South Park
Fortunately
Yes
And South Park came out
Good
Yeah absolutely
It's like it's amazing
Bethesda
Oh
Evil within is the ultimate proof
That it's Bethesda
Yeah
Bethesda's QA
Boy it
They don't spend the money
No
No
It's never QA's fault
No
I said they don't spend the money
On QA
Like they don't do it
Yeah
But it's never QA's fault
Hey
No
Did I say
Because you said or their QA
No no
I didn't
Yeah
But it's like they just
They say no
It's ready to ship now
And I bet QA says
No it's not
No
Look
That's like
QA
Almost
Almost
Almost
Ever
I'm Gulesh
The one guy that Bethesda has for QA
Yeah
It's not all his fault
Yeah
But yeah
That's Gulesh
I bet most of them
Gulesh has four hours
Like four hours to spend on Skyrim
Four hours on Evil Within
You know what
You say that
I bet that they have
Their entire QA department
Working on whatever Elder Scrolls game is
At the time
All year round
And they
They give people
To
Like say
100% of your staff
Yeah
They put 80%
On the Elder Scrolls or Fallout game
And it's still not enough
Well I was just gonna say
I don't believe that
And it's still
They're still
Yeah no
Because they have 100 people or whatever
And then they're like
Okay here's five guys
For Evil Within
Here's
Four guys
For this
Right
Oh my god
So that's my week
Eventful
And not eventful
Simultaneous
Don't play wow
Play Infinity
Engine games
And when you call up Blizzard
Talk to them in a robotic manner
And then hang up
As soon as possible
It was over text
And it was like really personal
It was like really like
Oh yeah hey man
That is really cool
Because that's how they know
I was looking at these games
Because we had a big conversation
About old PC games
A little bit ago
Yeah
And I saw
That Beam Dog
Got Vita kits
Because they're really big fans
And they're like
We're looking at that
And I was like damn
I really want to play
One of these old CRPGs
On a handheld
And so
Happy
That'd be a little small
And so I played through
80% of Baldur's Gate Dark Alliance
For the GBA
That's not the same
And that is
Almost the exact same
And that game is a
Shockingly good port
And that is
It is totally functional
And it plays
But they pair
They pair back so much
That's insane man
I love it
Dude that was
That was a PS2 game
I know
Wow
Dude
They paired that game back
As far as you possibly can
But I still feel just like
You know what
I remember Baldur's
You need to find the other
Two people on the Game Facts
Message Board
And make a commuter
Baldur's Gate Dark Alliance
One and two
Those games were actually
Like really good
They are really good
I remember being weirded
Like they weren't Diablo
But they were pretty close
They were very good
They were pretty close
Oh right
One last thing
That I wanted to mention
Matt and I were talking about it
You remember how in 1998
Was the greatest year
Of video games
Yeah
But why?
The main thing that people think of
Is Metal Gear
No it's
Every game under the sun
And everything
Yeah
We listed it all out at that time
Oh we did?
Yeah
We got a question
What's the best year
Yeah
And we had a giant list
I went into
The actual list
And found out that there's
Way more
Dude it's jaw shattering
Then I thought there was
Yeah
Did you know that
Brood War and Grim Fandango
Both came out in 1998
Fuck
Did you know that tribes
Came out in 1998
Yeah
That was right
When I looked through the list
I did see some all time
Stinkers though
Oh
Okuji the Heartless
Every year
Okuji the Heartless
Is the last game that came out
Like MVC1
Yes
Resident Evil 2
Absolutely
Panzertragoon Saga
Tenchu
Free Space
Starcraft
And Brood War
I didn't know what it's about
Golden Age Capcom
Like
Vigilante 8
The first Rainbow Six
Batman and Robin
They're all there
Like
It's Fallout 2
Baldur's like
Baldur's Gate and Fallout 2
Came out in the same year
No
It was unquestionably
Unquestionably the best
The best life
So don't play Baldur's Gate on the GBA
Yeah
Oh in the end don't do it
It's not worth it
That was
I love handheld
So I was like
Yeah I could stomach this
And I had the fucking lamp on my GBA
But for somebody like me
Eight handhelds
Oh boy
Play the console version of that
Cause it's just way better
I have the perfect game for you then
If you're looking for an old school RPG on a handheld
What's that
It's Dungeons & Dragons
On the PSP
Which someone in this room
Might have tested for like a year
I'd be willing to play that
It's the worst
Like we had a bunch of D&D
Nerds in the office
And they go like
The fuck is this shit
Cause there were French Nerds
And they would create gigantic bugs
That were not about functionality
They were about the rules
And then
That's not how the rule set works idiots
And then eventually it would start getting replies
We don't care actually
Yeah
Yeah of course
It's like this cause it's easier
You guessed the game
You get eight specialization points
On level 12 for a paladin
God damn it
Don't you understand
So why does this bug bear
Shooting a fire spell at us
It's not supposed to
Bug bears aren't smart enough to use wands of fire
Why can't I make a fighter mage
Why can't I have one
Cause it is
Of that really old caliber
There's a couple I want to look at
On the PSP
Do you know the fighting fantasy books
Yeah and you used to like that
It's a series of Choose Your Own Adventure books
That involve a stat page
And dice rolling
Wow
That's rad
And winning fights
With stats for the characters in the books
That's great
They're neat
I read through a bunch of them in high school
I saw that warlock of fire top mountain
And another one got made as PSP games
And they're available digitally on the Vitas
I'm really eyeing those
That sounds really cool actually
Cause I'm really intrigued
Other than that
I finished Assassin's Creed Unity
You finished it
I finished it
I was also surprised
The game is not unplayable
The villain resistance
Yeah exactly
That seems to be very mileage will vary
Because I remember seeing a topic saying
It's saying that it was unplayable
And the issues he described
Sounded unplayable
I know the exact topic
And I was reading down the issues
And I was like I didn't see any of these
Wow
We were just before we started this
Showing Liam bugs that happened to us
And evil within
And your responses
Oh I never saw that
You're not a very good tester
It was a texture that didn't
I didn't fucking see it
Cause I didn't fucking see it
I want to see it
It happened
It's not
The reproduced rate was not 100%
Of course
The user path
I'm sorry I just had
They also played it on a different patch
Yeah
Where does Endgame Arno stack up
In the list of assassins
Okay mid game Arno
So 60, 70% is pretty high
Really
Endgame Arno is also pretty high
But he doesn't really go past that
So I think he's
I've never played for
So I think Edward Canway
Is supposed to be pretty good though
Canway's fint
Canway's great
He's above Altair and Connor
That's for sure
It's not fair
That's not fair
Ezio I didn't play all the games
He's a brand is better than them
You're right
He's close to Ezio though
If not at Ezio
Because he's just
Well it depends on what Ezio
I didn't talk about
Well Ezio
Yeah and Altair is retcon
To be more interesting
Yeah
You know
No Arno's pretty good
And he's pretty good
Because of the conflict around him
Where your character
His father was an assassin
But then he died
And you get raised by a Templar
And then
When he dies
You go into the assassin order
Because they're like
Oh your dad is an assassin
And then he sees
The assassins all being
Assholes to each other
Meanwhile your girlfriend comes back
And is a Templar
And then the Templars
Might kill her
That's a rough relationship
And so Arno's like
Fuck the assassins
These guys are terrible
And he's an assassin
And the girlfriend's like
The Templars are trying to kill me
And I'm a Templar
And they're trying to be together
But there's this internal conflict
And so there's this really good climax
In Chapter 7
Out of 12
Well Julia
Now the whole thing
Oh that's
That's early for a game
It's a good climax
It's like
I'm just gonna spoil it
If you don't mind
It came out two weeks ago
Still too fresh
But I am like
When you look at the grand scheme of things
There's a bit too much
Yeah the kid I grew up with
Next door is a Templar
And I'm an assassin
Going on in the world
A lot of like
Although because
Like they're so close
Well the Templar who raised you
The Templar who raised you
Was the father of that girl
No so I'm just saying
I'm just saying that this setting
You skipped a couple games
There's a lot of like
Like incestuous
This is a Templar
No you're basically an assassin
That's not how I'm an assassin
No
I'm a Templar
No I'm an assassin
No I'm a Spartacus
No one is just one or the other
It's always like getting that murky
Regardless like
It's pretty well written in that regard
And the climax at chapter 7
There's like a really good
For Assassin's Creed
There's a really good post battle
You know that has like
Actual quick time event transition
To the next environment
To the next environment
And it's like wow
This is actually
Okay I gotta ask you
And it does
They do like
Really cool fixed camera angle things
During that fight
Where like you're fighting on the edge
Of a church
And like you get the church
For a third of the screen
And you see the full fight
But then you get a big
Panoramic view of France
In the rain
Nice
And like it's a really fun
Good boss battle
And then you kill him
And you see his memories
And you're like
There's a good boss battle
And an Assassin's Creed game
It's the best one I've ever seen
That's kind of shocking
Cause their boss battles are always like
Atrocious
As a mid boss
They're either atrocious
Or they're nothing
They're buggy
Yeah
As a mid boss
And not a final boss
It's a great mid boss
Yeah
It wouldn't make a great final boss
But it's a great mid boss
Wait why wouldn't it
Cause it sounds like
Cause it's not climactic enough
It sounded the most
Climactic thing ever though
It's really good
The final boss should be the
Crank that shit up to 11
Every time
They can't do that in Assassin's Creed
And that's a flaw
They didn't
They did it
Assassin's Creed Unity
Has another flaccid boss fight
With his stupid
Eden McGuffin
They're still having those things
Guess what
You're in his cone of vision
You're losing health
Okay no
No
No
If you're gonna ditch the modern story
You can't keep adding
The pieces of Eden back into the plot
No you have to
God damn it
You have to
What are you supposed to add after that
Like the watermelon of paradise
Like in the shoes
The only
That watermelon
It just
The only problem is that
It just sucks cause
It's of no consequence anymore
Because the world's not ending anymore
They're just
They're just there
Excuse to have magic
In a historical setting
They explain the reasonings
But it's bullshit
It's shitty
All the
Modern day stuff
Garbage
In Unity
I heard it was not even there
Like it's barely there
It's barely there
You never see modern day
Except for like
A 5
To 10 second
I'm so sad
Very short
By this because
The days when
I would sit with my friends
And talk about the ending of part one
Yeah
And like what all those symbols mean
So I remember
And just
Sitting there
And we knew you had
Middle gear level conversations
About this
Cause I can go to those places
And go to those places
Wiki diving
So finding all these things
And fucking getting into it
Last week
On the bomb cast
They got an email
Where a guy had been listening
To their 2009 bomb cast
And about how everyone
Was so excited
To see modern day
Assassin's Creed 3
Yeah
That would have been
How and how wrong
Everyone's
And that's so depressing
That's so depressing
That could have been
The coolest thing ever
There's so many failed
Third things
In the last generation
But especially
When everyone kind of
Collectively knows
Where it's supposed to go
And then they're like
No, no, no business
Like a giant web
Of stuff like this
A giant tapestry of narratives
It's good when one person
Is at the head of it
Like an author
Per se
A writer
But when it's all done by committee
Like there's no way
It's going to turn out like this
I should have seen it come
Like, like we
You get to in four
If you do the puzzles
Where you get the special files
You get to see that community
Because you get to see
A fake argument
Between the fake
Not Ubisoft devs
Discussing where they want to set
The next animus thing
Yeah
And how they don't want cars
And how the cars work
And how cars stop
And how Japan's boring
And it's just like
Sitting in like
Like the animus
It's like you get to see it
The animus has problems
Picking up memories inside of cars
Because your brain goes into
An automated
Non-thinking mode
So basically sitting in a car
Is like such an automated type
It's teleport
There's no memories associated
With this
And then the animus
Can't pick up
Anybody should look for
And then the other thing is like
Do we really want to design
A car control system
That'll never be used
And it's like oh man
That's really on the road
Oh that's a crap
Yeah I don't know
The ending was like
You could see it a mile away
And I wish they had sussed out
And gone for a worse ending
Just so I couldn't predict it
But the finale
It was just flaccid
Which is such a shame
Because I really liked that climax
In the 2017
How does the
They talked a big game
About how the combat
Was going to be harder
And you're going to kill less dudes
Is that the case?
Yeah
Like
It's definitely the case
Until the end game
Where you have all the best gear
And it's just like
Because SEO would run up to a guy
Oh I remember
A group of 20
And massacre them
And massacre them effortlessly
And if anything they made it
Easier and easier
As time went on
Yeah because they realized
It was just tedious
So might as well just make it faster
No it's definitely improved
As far as like
80% of the game goes
The end game
It's a bit past this
But that's the end game
That's fine
The only thing
I hate about it is
So you get a little
Thing
Like a little red flash
Above the enemies
It goes from red to yellow
When it hits yellow
And you press circle to parry
Okay
And then when they're parried
They're opened up
And you can attack
Or whatever
But when they do
An attack that doesn't have that
The red thing still appears
But it just stays red
And it's
But it never
Like it's not different
So you assume you can parry it
And then it never changes
To yellow at the last second
You hit the parry button
You just take an attack
Oh that's so funny
Whereas like in Revengeance
What they did was they had
A different colored one
For the stuff you can't fucking
Yeah like yellow
Exactly
Dodge
Orange means parry
And in this game
They use the same indication
Just it changes
At the last second
To let you know
Okay
And there's not
Really enough
So you end up having to
Memorize enemy patterns
But when there's
But no
But there's only three
It's not fun
It doesn't
Feel good in that sense
Because the patterns are
Boring
Oh no
Blah
Blah
And you roll the two
And then the third one
You parry it
No they don't say
Miss French
French
In this French
In this French
I don't know the only other
Remarkable stuff was
The scenes where you go to
Like the Eiffel Tower
And stuff were really cool
Actually
What the fuck is the justification
Of that
The justification
The fucking enemies
The justification is
Abstergo is it?
Yeah
They're like oh shit
There's people in our shit
Shut down that server
And so your guys are like
Okay
Go to this server
We're bringing you to this server
And it's
And that server is the
World War II server
Yeah or what have you
That is actually
A really good justification
It's a way better justification than I expected
Hey fuckers
Why don't you just do that for Japan
And shut the fuck up
If you could just do anything
By saying oh someone spilled some coke
On the fucking keyboard
Damn
No Japan's boring
What a bunch of shit fucks
But you know
The problem with Japan and China
Is Woolie said it once
And he was super right
It's like that's gonna be the game
That's gonna be the call of duty
Advanced warfare
Of Assassin's Creed
When numbers start to draw
And people start to leave
That's gonna be the one that's like
No guys
Okay
Here's the one
You wanted
For the last 15 years
No they gotta hang on to that one
Absolutely
You're right
You're right
I don't know it's a good game
Good game
I'm looking forward to that DLC
Whatever it's called
Dead Kings
Or whatever
Cause I think it's fun
What about Louis?
Probably
Yeah exactly
Other than that
There was one other game I played
But I'm struggling to remember
Oh it was Project Eva F II
Sure
Which is unambiguously
The worst game in the series
As far as I'm concerned
Why?
And it's a really unfortunate position
To have
Because it
Basically it reuses a lot of the songs
From the first three games
Right
The previous game was all new songs
And that was awesome
And that was the first game
Since the first game to do that
Right
Cause basically the first game
Was all new songs
Second game used about half of them
Third game used about half of them
Okay
Then bam
Vita version
All new songs
This one is all new songs
For people who never played
The Japanese games
But for me and other people
Who imported the PSP ones
It's all the old songs are back
And it's like
Okay and there's a bunch of new songs
But they're not all that exciting
But why is it the worst?
They introduce
Like unambiguously
The worst gameplay mechanic
In the series
So they have a mechanic
That they introduced in the Vita one
Where you scratch on the screen
For a note
And it's not actually scratch
They just call it scratch
Cause it's like a DJ thing
And so when there's a starting note
On the screen you just rub
Anywhere on the screen
Anywhere on the screen
And when they
When Sega first announced this
Everyone was like
Oh you're fucking crazy
You're killing the series
And the Vita game came out
And everyone was like
Oh no this actually works
Just fine
Okay
But in this game
They do something
That tries to unteach
How you play rhythm games
So in rhythm games
You put notes on the screen
But you don't put them randomly
You space them out
Per the distance of the note
In the song
And that's always how it is
If they come really quickly
You put them on top of each other
If they come far apart
You put them at opposite ends
Of the screen
So they have these scratch notes
That are attached by a little line
And the rule with those
Is you don't pick up your thumb
You just rub through them all
Without picking up your thumb
But they just put them anywhere
And draw stars
And little fox heads
To whatever beat they decide
Okay
And it's like
It doesn't match
There's this one song
There's this one song called knife
And at one point
You do like four slashes
Across the screen
Is the imagery they draw
Yeah
To collaborate
With the swords being swung
And they're really fast presses
Where this goes immediately
After that note
So you're going like one two
One two
For notes that should not be
One two one two
As far as the other four games
In the series are concerned
Right, okay, okay
And it just completely
Like
There's
Those notes are just
Bad rhythm game design
This is so weird
Because I just keep thinking
Like you have one job
One job
Make the interface understand
And the last game was stellar
Like the last game was fucking awesome
And then
Do you know what that is?
That's Jimmy
Wanted to try something new
Probably
People said
I don't know Jimmy
Then Jimmy said
My uncle owns this company
Also there's this
It's weird how like
The difference between like
Games like that
And the Konami
But the Bemani games
And things like that
Compared to harmonic stuff
Like every single harmonics game
That came out
Like when you go to the
The next iteration of it
You had a completely different
Track list
Yeah
Because why would you do
You would never have another song
From the previous games ever
For any reason
Why bother
Well there is one difference
And that difference is
For those games
They had like
However many backgrounds
For these games
Each one has its own
Like music video
Associated with it
That has like
Unique hearts
And environments and stuff
So by taking the PSP stuff
They're able to at least
Reuse the designs
And maybe some of the art
So yeah
That said
I mean it's really
If you didn't play
The first three games in the series
All those songs are great
You know if you haven't
Already played through all those
But now here they are
On a shit version
But that new note
Thing is
Is poor
You can't say let
I imagine
I'll let them fuck that
And they added another note
Where you have to scratch
With two thumbs
And there's
No
It adds pretty much nothing
And it's
Like that would
Do it
That would be fine
If that was the only addition
But the other one is
Like it just completely
Throws it away
As if it was like
What the fuck
And I was so disappointed
With this
That I didn't even talk about it
Last week
Cause I was like
I'm gonna stomach through this
And then I went
And then I went on forums
And then I went on forums
After a couple songs
Where I was like
Ah man this is really
Shitty these notes
And other people were like
Yeah this is not good
Yeah I hate that feeling
Like maybe I just don't
Understand the game
Maybe I'm doing it wrong
And if I change
Then the game will be good
Nope
It's not me
Yeah
No it's a
Terrible
Terrible new mechanic
Hopefully they revert that
Cause like
I don't like it at all
Well you should see
If Japan likes it
Like if you could research that
Can you have news players like it
Cause it's probably gonna stay
I could compare the
Amazon reviews
For the previous game
To the current game
But Amazon
Amazon reviews in Japan
Are pretty all over the place
Like Monster Hunter 4G
Has a two star rating
Freedom Wars has a two and a half
Like you know
They just
They just get blasted
Kind of like how Netflix
Will be like Aliens
Two out of five
Exactly
And it's like
What?
Yeah
I'm getting angry
Just picturing that
It's so random
It's a city of God
And negative vibes
What a piece of shit
Yeah
Transformers Dark of the Moon
Seven stars
Seven stars
If I get the perfect moon
So yeah
By the first game
If you haven't
By the second game
Only if you really need it
Well you
You are not done
That is not all you did
With your weeks
That's not all I did this week
No
I saw the new Hunger Games
Movie
Oh wow
It was alright
Mockingbird
Mockingjay
It was alright
Did she shoot the bow
At the
I don't know
She actually did it
Well
That was the entire point
Of this movie
It was nothing happens really
Yeah
Was she a great Mockingjay
It was alright
No
She said
No
I'm just going to
I'll talk about it
A bit more
Because I want to mention
That there's one cool thing
Was she the Mockingjay
It reminded me a lot
Because most of the movie
Is like
You are now our icon
You have to lead the revolution
Right
It reminded me of that bit
Where they say how
Eva says how
Like major zero
Wanted to make big boss
An icon
And that's not
What big boss wanted
Yeah
It was just like
No
I'm not
I don't want to be your bigger finger
And that was the thing
Where the movie went from
Like
Interesting
Yeah
It wasn't a bad movie
No
It was just like
Nothing really happens
Exactly
But that's still not all you did
So this week
Woolly claims that I did
Something else in my week
That I can't remember
Well
Do you want to help us out here
Yeah
You read
One Punch Man
I read
One Punch Man
Isn't it the best
No good
I'm so happy
You read it
I totally forgot
But yeah
I read
All five
I read
Superhero
Like
Did you write this
Cause it sounds like you wrote it
I honestly feel like I would have
If it weren't already written
See
One Punch Man
Is the story of an average guy
Who wants to be a superhero
And
So he trains
Really
Trains one arm
He trains kind of hard
For three years
And becomes the strongest man
On Earth
Like
Unparalleled
Unambiguously
The strongest man
There's something about that type of writing
Where it's just like
Shut up
I know
And it's done
It's done
Like
He just trains himself
And he's the strongest
And that's where you're like
Okay fine
And it's done with the tone
Of like
A Toriyama-esque world
Where just all kinds of crazy bullshit happens
And like
Just thousands upon thousands of people
Get murdered
In a big super fight
When you step
Whatever
When you step three feet outside of his personal space
It is a serious world
With serious problems
And then he immediately
Like there's this one shot
I really liked where an enemy
Like breaks through his ceiling
And he's like
Introducing himself
And he's like this big scary bug guy
And like
It cuts him off
Before he finishes his sentence
And his head is punched off
And he's saying
Pay for my ceiling
Yes
And he's like
I'm here to defeat you
My name is
It's so fucking good
And then
Is this American or
It's Japanese
Wow
And then his friend is
Cyborg
Student
Quote-unquote
Jumps out of the building
To fight the
Of the allies of this guy
And he's like
I'm gonna get them for you, master
And then the next frame
He's already out there
And he's killed them both
And he's like
But pay for the ceiling
Really
Or like
You know
They have this whole fucking thing
With the gorilla
Right
Some will like
More than ever
It's hard to explain
In the whole moment
So one punch man
Is fighting this like
Really tough lion guy
He's a badass lion guy
He's a badass lion guy
He's huge
And his robot
And his robot buddy
And his robot buddy
Like fucking pissing shit
And his robot buddy
Is fighting this gorilla guy
In this like super mech armor
And the gorilla guy is like
Like speaking like a robot
Yeah
And the gorilla guy says
To the cyborg like
You'll never get anything out of me
You're never gonna finish off
Whatever his name was
The lion guy
He's too tough
There he goes
He goes
You think you're defeating me
Was a big accomplishment
But you'll never stop the best
In our company
I'm only the third strongest
The real
Our second strongest
The lion guy is gonna
Totally
And then like
One punch man walks over
With his head
Just like
You mean this guy
His eyeball
Yes eyeball
And then the next shot
The next page is like
Full page of the gorilla
Just with his stiff face
And then on the next page
He just starts talking
And he's like
Man I just work here
What?
The most detailed portrait
Of the gorilla's face
Just deadpan
Like
The art is amazing
Unbelievable
Unbelievable
Whenever he says something
Like
Whenever it should be funny
He's drawn in the most detailed
Serious way
So it's funny
And then whenever it's
Supposed to be serious
He's got the loses
Like
Oh man
One punch man is the shit
It's the artist who did
Eye Shield
So like
Eye Shield 21
Wow
That's
Fucking excellent
By any chance did you pick it up
Due to our mutual friends
Recommendation
I've remembered that
Recommendation for a long time
Okay
And when I got a Kindle
And I was going through
What's on there
I was like
Nice
The first three volumes
Are fucking amazing
The fourth and fifth
They're like
Bit weaker
But they're still really good
Okay
Yeah
And like
I read like a lot of
Manga this week
No
But like
Like
Fucking one punch man
Is really legendary
I think I'll give that a chance
One punch man
His life is empty
Man
I have been seeing
Like
Singled out pages
From that manga
For years
Yeah
Yeah
One of his things
Is like
He just wants to fight
But
Oh my god
The fucking moment
Every single fight
He finishes in one punch
So
He enjoys
So it's not satisfying
His life is empty
Oh man
One punch man
It's a bad thing
Yeah
You gotta weaken yourself down
It's like
You love playing video games
But as soon as you press
Start
It's the credits
And you're like
No
It's like
One of Superman loves boxing
Yeah
He walks outside
One day
He sees like
The underground fucking
Like
Emergence day happens
Like the mall
The underwater man
The under earth people
Come out to fight
To conquer the surface people
And like
We've already slaughtered 70% of the planet
We're here to take over everything
You know
And one punch man's like
Okay fucking let's do this
And like he's hitting them
And killing them in one hit
But there's so many
That it's providing to be a challenge
He's like
Yeah
Yeah
He's getting into it
And then he slaughters all of them
And then like
The king of the underground man comes up
He's like
Oh I'm here
And he just has this big battle
And then he fucking
His alarm goes off
And he wakes up
And it's like
Fuck
And then the mall people are there
And then he just kicks their ass in like a second
And it's just
And you know what he did
It was just all a dream
Like he's like
This is the feeling I've been looking for
Brr brr brr brr
Oh man
It's
It's yeah
Yeah
Okay
That was
That was enough of my week
Yeah
Well since you're talking
Hold on
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That's incredibly specific
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To get it in time before Christmas
Because they're like
We got to ship these giant boxes
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They ship these loot coffins
Usually they ship them out
A bunch of them on a truck
This is like one truck per box
Take the truck
Put it on a boat
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Okay Matt
Well no
I'm snatching it back
Snatching it back
You're a snatcher
I went back to playing Freedom Wars again
And I was like
Oh this game
I'm going to forget how to play this game
I'll do end game missions
That's right
Having not played this in two weeks
And it's like
I got back into it
Super easy
And I played a bunch of online
And I just want to say
Like
Shout out to all the
Two best friends
Fans playing Freedom Wars
Because
You got them on it
I have met
12
Individual
Two best friends
Fans
Who have spotted me
On my name alone
With no
It doesn't say 2BF Liam
It doesn't say
Two best friends anywhere
Yeah okay
Like
Are you Liam?
Yeah that's pretty cool
Yeah the
Like the percentage is
The more each
The game is
Yeah
The more likely you are
To encounter people
That are there
Because we sent them there
I told you
I mentioned on the podcast
I was playing Ultimax
Yeah totally
And I guys like
I didn't speak
It was just my name
Well woolly had no idea
K.I.
And yeah you got
Absolutely
The smaller
The smaller
The community
And then
Imagine that
Almost everyone
If like D4 had some sort of
Like
Yeah
There's a multiplayer
There's multiplayer
The entire community
Would just be
Two best friends
Fans
With swary in there too
Yeah
Yeah shout outs
You guys are great
That was a good snatch back
It was a good get back
Get back early
Get back
Decent backers
Now de-snatch yourself
And give it to Matt
I'm de-snatched Matt
Here take this
Well you talked about
Mockingjay
And just really quickly
The first
Hunger Games movie is fine
It's a decent movie
And it was enjoyable I guess
The second one
The set up of it
Is great
The actual hunger games
Is bad and lame
The special effects
Look like shit
And all the characters
Are like not fun
I did not
I'm going this
From a movie perspective
Yeah me too
I'd be curious to see
Whether the second
Hunger Games movie
Yeah it's like
You look at it
It's like does the second
Book just suck hats
Yeah I don't know
But like I said
The second movie
Like all of its set up
Was really interesting
And all the scheming
And then the actual
Hunger Games star
I'm like this is lame
It's exactly what they're doing
Is doing the same thing
That Deathly Hallows did
Which is split the thing
Into two
And the first movie
Is just the set up
As far as I see that
It's like milk it
Milk it
Well for Deathly Hallows
I kind of agree
Because that book was just
Gynormous
And I guess it's like
Hey why don't we
It is to just
Make more money
And book it
But yeah I mean
The Hobbit's the worst
The Hobbit's the worst
Because they did not need to
There's so much
Hobbit's a short ass book
No we need to do trilogy
The battle of five armies
That battle of five armies
You mean that battle
That's a footnote
It's a footnote
And I think like
The new thing that
Like the maze runner
I feel like that
Could possibly go
In that direction as well
Like any sort of
New franchise
You know what
The maze
It's a new Hunger Games
Type thing
And any franchise
Like that where it's like
You know it gets the part three
And they split it into two movies
Maybe
Like oh god
The one main core
About this entire franchise
You forgot the worst one
Twilight
Where they
The entire movie
Is a dream
Is it?
No but they also
Split it too
You know that huge
Battle sequence of Twilight
That's a telepathic projection
Into the villain's mind
As to what would happen
If they fought
It never happened
And then
So here's what actually happens
Here's what actually happens
In that movie
The armies meet on the field
He gets the telepathic
But the direction
It's all in his head
And he goes
Oh that's pretty rough
And leaves
That's the actual
Lot of that movie
Did you enjoy that?
No
Did you enjoy that story just there?
It's pretty up there man
There's a site that summarized
All of Twilight
In like bullet form
And back
There should be a way
It should be consumed
But it's amazing
That's terrible
Anyway
I was going to say
The problem with these movies
Is that the other cast
The characters
The actors
I'm sure in the books
It's whatever
But the other character actors
Okay
Woody Harrelson
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Elizabeth Banks
These are the interesting characters
You know who isn't interesting?
Everyone's fucking else
The three main characters
They have a love triangle right?
And I never
Again the books
I'm sure it's whatever
But she's got two dudes
She's got
You can either fuck
Liam Hemsworth
Chris Hemsworth's
Equally attractive brother
Or you can just
This blonde fuck
I've never heard of
Who's the most like
Meeow
His name is Peta
And I just call him Peta bread
Cause he's just as bland
And as unexciting
As a plain Peta bread
That's funny cause he's also a baker
Yeah he's a baker
I forgot about that
His name is Peta
And he bakes
Anyway
That is the relationship
That the books push
Yeah
And I go
No
Fuck Liam Hemsworth
I would
No don't
So that's my main thing
So what you're saying is Team Jacob
Yeah
Although both those guys were fucks
Like the actors
And like you know the characters
Sounds like they roped you in
Sorry?
Sounds like they roped you in
They roped me in
They just had to show me
Liam Hemsworth
Or whatever
But the problem is
Is that like that guy's actual
He's like
I'll sacrifice myself
Guess what
You automatically win
He's all going this dangerous mission
What's the other guy doing?
Nothing
Baking
And I'm like
Do you go on a dangerous mission girls?
He's doing nothing
Girls like that
Well
He's not an actual
Participant in the story
I love dangerous missions
I know the reasons why he can't do
But the guy who doesn't go on the dangerous mission
Gets to go visit the girl
While you're on the dangerous mission
I like what happens to that
Let's not talk about the hidden horror
Of the military here
Cause it's like right
No
Cause she's my whole fucking
Ready to go
Cause the battle
Ready to go
Someone's got to take care of business
I told Liam and Woolie about this
The other week
But I also watched
The Last Stand
Pat
Do you remember The Last Stand
Was that Schwarzenegger movie
Was the sheriff
Oh wow
I thought you were talking about X-Men
Holy shit
No
Do you remember that trailer
We kind of went
Schwarzenegger's Grand Torino
And then at the end
There was an extended shot
Of just a movie to shotgun
And to no one
You couldn't see who he was shooting
And then we all went
Yeah
Schwarzenegger's Grand Torino
Yeah
Not quite
It's a lot goofier than I thought
But it's his
I'm old
Let's make a movie
About me being old
I long since did not watch it
Cause I always saw it in Netflix
I always went
What if it's just really bad
And then I actually watched
And I was really pleasantly surprised
The last 20 minutes
Is a gunfight
Over an entire town
It's just this long
It's like a city
Or like
Like you know
Like a little stopgap city
Okay
Whatever
Like the city that you see
In the trailer
They have a long gunfight
That extends all over
And it's violent
There's blood gushing everywhere
And I was just
80s jazzed up
Like Rambo
Not to Rambo
That's not a fair comparison
Come on
But no
Sorry
What I mean is
Like the escalation
Is in a Rambo-esque way
Where it's like
Bunch of set up
And then just fucking
Concentrated madness
Concentrated madness
And then move the ends
So my main sort of thing
Is that Schwarzenegger
Like not even really
The main focus
It's like he has an entire
Crew of cool people
Like Johnny Knoxville
And whoever
And just
I'm just gonna say
That the ending of
The ending fight of the movie
Had to do with Schwarzenegger
And the bad guy
And like
We all enjoy the commando
I'm not gonna say
It's up to commando's level
But suplexes are done
Like false deaths
And just long fistfights
And one-liners
And I was like
Mmm
Very 80s
I really liked it
The only problem with that
Final fight
It was all on a green screen
They're in a background
That was impossible
To have in real life
I understood that
Okay
And I'm like
So it's clearly green screen
It kinda chucked me a little
Breaking of immersion
You were talking about
Before when you were playing
Evil with Ben
What's the word I'm saying
Immersion annihilating experience
Annihilating
Yeah, so
That action was good
But I was just like
Eh, it's a little
I'm out of it
I also played
A bunch of Far Cry 4
And you were talking about
Rewards, ping
You've leveled up
Yeah, yeah
Like it's
I
It's aggressive
I pull myself away
Because every time
I'm like
I'm going to stop
I should do this
Or work on something
Or like
Pay attention to my loved ones
Or Zach
Fiancé's
Whoever
And I just go
But I just found
Where the
I just unlocked
Riding Elephants
Mmm
And I actually stopped
Right there
And we never got that
And some people were lamenting
Like oh
They didn't get to unlock
Riding Elephants
And you can also
Go into Uplay
If you want
To unlock it even faster
But then I was like
Oh, I'm not going to do it
I'm not going to do it
Those Uplay points
Have got to be good
For something, man
And then
You can also unlock
The Alex James Murphy
Pistol
From Blood Dragon
The A.J.M. Lee
Oh, wow
And Uplay
I can't see it
In the actual game
But in Uplay
It says unlock the
Alex James Murphy
The A.J.M. right now
That's a good use for
Rural cost
Okay, okay
Because that's in Blood Dragon
They just put it in there
And I was like
It's unbelievable
How much the setting
Helps that game
It really is
Because if this was
This is almost exactly
Like Far Cry 3
Yeah
Oh, it's what used to
Be called an expansion pack
Yeah
But it's just like
Paganmen
Like Paganmen is so much
Cooler than Vaz
And Vaz is fucking cool
Right
And I like your dude
Even your dude
Is kind of bland
I like the
A.J. is much more
Interesting than Tommy
Because you were saying
Before
I love being a douche bag
Saving a douche bag
Friends
And that's funny for a laugh
When I actually
Want to do a story mission
Because I'm like
I want to help Amita
Or I want to help Sabaal
Because they have two
Conflicts
Sabaal's okay
Sabaal's okay
I don't know about Amita
I don't know about her
No, because
I did missions
Where I'm like
Okay, well
I understand where you're both
Coming from
Because she's like
We have to win the war
And the other guy is like
And he's like
We have to save our own people
And we'll win the war eventually
And she's like
No, we won't
If we spend all our time
Freighting over every shoulder
Yeah, but she makes her point
Very poorly
Because it's usually
Given to you in the phrase
Of I don't care about the hostages
Yeah, yeah
And then she'll
They knew what they were getting in for
She'll let me say to you
Yeah, it sucks
We lost those hostages
But like
When it gave you that choice
Or do you want to do her
Or his
I was like
Let me do her
Just to see what happens
Yeah
And I was like
And then when you meet Sabal
Sabal has this long cut scene
This is where
The Far Cry stuff really gets interesting
Like I actually
I definitely feel
Something that David Cage games
Have tried and failed for years
Which is
Give a character some type of emotion
And actually
Give a shit
Yeah
And I'm watching the guy's
Facial animation
And he's just so pissed
That I took Amida's thing
And I was just like
Oh, this is
Now I want to go back to Sabal now
Because Sabal really
Showed me that I've kind of fucked up
I bet it does that thing
That Witcher and Walking Dead do
It's like
You have no correct decision
No matter what you do
You made the wrong choice
Every time
Because what you did
I love that
I love that so much
And everyone's going to remind you
Of how good a piece of shit you are
How could you
I played a bit more of that
Adventure Time game
Yeah
So
Pretty good
I got a
I did the first
Steam Sales Zone right now
I did the first dungeon
I'm like this dungeon's
Kind of fun
And it kind of does
The easy joke there is this
Dungeon is
I don't know
I don't know
Don't browse Steam
During the podcast
Don't tell me what to do
Fucking
And actually talk
A bit
He's talking
Where it says
I'm buying games
There's going to be a character
Outside a dungeon saying
You probably want this
To go in
Because
Yeah
And what you need to go in
With a dungeon
Is like you need a plastic baggy
And I go
Why
And they don't say why
Which is why
I think it's kind of balanced
They go
You really need a plastic baggy
You want to go in here
And you can go in a little bit
But it's like
No you really want a plastic baggy
And I'm like
Oh I'm fine
I'm going to find a plastic baggy
What's that
Stupid duck guy
You're the duck guy
Yeah
Choose Goose
Choose Goose
He's the one that sells you shit
And everything is in rhyme
So he's like
You're going to be very laggy
If you don't buy this plastic baggy
And I'm like
Alright
I'll get this plastic baggy
When you get the plastic baggy
I'm like
I can't believe
Because it's just a bottle
From a drink
Like I'm Zelda
That's its main function
And I'm like
Okay
So that's pretty good
And um
No
Wow the screens look really good actually
Are you saying we should play this game
I'm not saying
I'm saying that
I don't know
Are you saying we should
Think about playing this game
I think we should all pow wow
And see if we could do something with it
Maybe in the future
I don't know
It might be a little dry
Because it is very
Like original zone
Oh I mean individually
Oh yeah maybe
Like
Is it a recommendation
I can maybe wait till it's
It's a bit cheaper
40 bucks I still think is kind of
30 on via
Sure
It's 44 on PC
My tempered expectations
Can leave only happiness
I don't want to hype it up
Because it's not changing the world
Or anything
It's just
It's just like
I can understand where you're going from
If this was the first
Adventure Time game
You'd probably go
Yeah I know
I think it's pretty good
Okay
Right
And just really quickly
For everyone asking
No we're not going to continue
Being drunk for every video
Because everyone's like
The sonic video is so good
And it seems like alcohol
Really seems to turn up
The craziness to 11
Let's fucking relax
I think maybe for every sonic video
No it's because Matt's been
Matt's an alcoholic now
And
We're not going to drunk him up
Every spike
No because
Let him loose
Because then you lose the
Specialness of being drunk
Yeah
For all the time
But also it's like
When I get drunk
I'm
Especially on camera
You can't have you on camera
I overcome
With a special kind of fear
That only exists with
On camera drunkenness
It's like
Yeah scream about the race war
Yeah
Like
Look man
You can't go Super Saiyan all the time
Alright
That's you do
Unless you go Super Saiyan level 2
You know when you get those
Sparks of electricity
And the one hair
That's Super Saiyan 2
We just start just
Injecting drugs
Live
See where this goes
It's going to go great
Yeah I guess
I had some more to have it
I know we're running long
So I think we should
Get it down to the week
I have you
I did have a week
I heard you saw a movie this week
I saw a movie
That movie was John Wick
What a fucking sick movie
What a fucking sick movie
I really appreciate
The action scenes
That were carried out in ways that
Okay gunplay
That's clever
Where you're like
Non-traditional
Non-traditional gunplay
We're both hiding around the pillar
I'm trying to peek out
And you got to reload
What the fuck do we do
I shoot the fucking ground
What is and hit you
And you go
And then I fucking headshot you
Little tricks like that
Rolling over you with my car
And as you roll over
The top of my car
I'm shooting you through the roof
You fucking go over
That was too tech
That was new shit
The car combat in that movie is wicked
That's a weird phrase
You don't hear that very well
Yeah because we were
Like reinstating this
It's not vehicular combat
It's having gunfights
But just getting cars
You go while you're driving
Yeah it was great
Also another movie
Where just everyone background
Foreground everyone is somebody
Like just wire references everywhere
And like actors and wrestlers
Are showing up
You know really really cool in that regard
Fucking Theon is a piece of shit
God damn
Yeah Theon Greyjoy is the main
Not the main bad guy but
He plays a scumbag Russian kid
Yeah
And it's really really good
Like you know how Jon Snow
Is going to be a hero
And everything he's casted in forever
Because of his beautiful beautiful man face
Theon is going to be a dirt bag
Because of his not beautiful
Not beautiful man face
Exactly
He's got the weasel face
Yeah that's exactly it
He's got a weasel face
Do you see what I mean
About like how Keanu has the biggest dick
In the world
Yes and everyone is aware
The best light in the movie
Is a guy on the phone going
Oh
If you remember that scene
It's like yeah
It's honestly a fun watch
But it has an issue
Which is
I have two like issues
One of them
The dumb thing the movie does
A couple of times is
Guns as a plot device
As opposed to guns as a gun
How do I explain this
Certain scenes where the solution
Would be just shoot directly
At the thing that is the problem
And it's gone
The problem is solved
You would instead have it be like
No
We've got to have a reason for
This scene to be drawn out
Where I've got to shoot the bodyguards first
Or like
Like there's a couple of scenes
Where the main guy you want to kill
Is right there in front of you
And all you had to do was
Just point the gun at him
The scene that was in the baths
Like the bath house
The bath house
Willem Defoe's scene
Well Willem Defoe's scene was different
But all he had to do was shoot the guy
But he shot like the guards
And then got into a scruffle
I guess that's just extending action
Exactly
And it was just like
The gun is the problem solver
Point it at the problem
And solve it
But they don't do that a couple of times
You know
And it's for movie purposes
That's
Or the other trope of
Is it as bad as Monster?
No
Because Monster has a full episode
Of gun pointing
Where all the problems
Will just be solved
If you just
Yeah
But it has the other trope
That really irks me
Which is
Like good guy
Just slaughters bad guys
He droves
Bad guy
Wants the slaughter good guy if possible
Gets opportunity to do so
Torture him
You know
Don't just kill him
Bring him time up
Do the slow thing
Give him the opportunity
Give him the James Bond laser escape
Put Batman on the fucking bandsaw
You know
I gotta say
Probably one of my favorite scenes though
Was when he got tied up
And he was on the chair
And the tarp was under him
And the big bad walks away
And he says wait
And the big bad
Immediately turns around
And starts to listen
Because he cares so much
About that
This guy
This guy
Because he knows
This guy is the man
So even though
He wants him to die
He stops
Yeah
And respects him
The real villain thing
Would be to just walk straight out of the room
Ignore
You know the main mobster boss was?
Yes
The actor
Yeah, what about him?
He was the bad guy
From that kind of forgettable bad guy
In Mission Impossible Ghost Protocol
Remember that nuclear scientist?
Yeah
That didn't say much
But he was also the original
Mikael Blomfist in
The Swedish
Girl with Dragon Tattoos
Girl with Dragon Tattoos
Okay
I'll leave that
But he was really hammy in it
In a good way
Yeah, no
It was fine
I also finally got around to
Starting True Detective
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
How many episodes?
Just the first one
I just did the first one
Dude, McConaughey
Give him the wards
Yeah, now I'm strong
Strong
A friend that I was watching it with
Though like didn't like it
And I was
It's weird
And I was like
Okay, I can see that this won't be for everybody
So that takes place
In Plague's backyard
Man
Basically
Yeah
It was Plague
And it's interesting
Because you really get a feeling of it
Of like there are parts in
North America
That just don't matter
But just aren't parts
Of the modern world
Yeah
And bad things happen
In those places
And the other thing
Between that and like
Hannibal
Like a lot of
A lot of
Okay
Atler play
Yeah
Getting used
I think that's
For Hannibal
There's a specific reason
But in True Detective
True Detective came out like
A little later
But True Detective
Is because they're in the back woods
So atlers are going to be a thing
Anyway
Hillbilly, crazy people
Are gonna be like that
They love it, right?
Yeah
My dad has so many atlers in the back
And after that
It just put me right in the mood
Right in the mood
To fucking watch Fargo again
You could never watch Fargo
No, it's supposed to be really good too
I've been meaning to
But I will watch Fargo forever
It's such a good movie
I have not seen Fargo
I should get on that
I've seen it multiple
I can just rewatch it anytime
Honestly, if you're done
So that was cool
I marathond
Beginning to end
All of Alden O'Zero
Oh cool, what did you think of it?
Watch the whole thing
You finished it?
Yeah, absolutely
Okay
What did you think of it?
Alden O'Zero is a mecha show
By Gennaro Bucci
And it's very
Run of the mill standard
Yeah
I enjoyed it
I enjoyed when I saw what was happening
It didn't pull any punches
Or do anything that was really
Unexpected in terms of
Mechas and fighting
A lot of Gundam references
A lot of references to
Multiple types of fight the space war
Thing going on
And that's all fine
And Dandy
Would have been great
Except that last 10 minutes
You didn't like the last 10 minutes?
Awful
Atrociously stupid
Why is it so stupid?
Because characters
You have to be careful
About talking about this
I'm gonna dance
You're literally talking about
The last 10 minutes of the show
I'm gonna dance
You know, I should look at you
I should look at Liam
Liam
It's so dumb
It's so dumb because
Characters do things
Where you have the most
What the fuck did you think
Would happen if you did that
Sure
You understand what I'm talking about?
Yeah
When big final battles are going on
Remember how there's an interruption
In the big final battle?
Vaguely
Whatever
It's been a bit
But yeah, vaguely
Slain's a dumbass
Slain is a dumbass
That's it
He acted very poorly
Yeah
And what he does a thing
And then immediately
Consequences follow
And then he goes
Why are these consequences
Following my actions?
I don't understand
Yeah, he makes you stay
And then makes a ton of more
Horrible decisions
And then it ends
And it's like
That was terrible
Are you gonna watch season 2?
I guess
It's coming January
Right?
Or whatever
It's said January 2015
On the thing
But it's almost like
Why even have a season 2
Just your character's brain
Just falls out of their head
The last second
But it's more than just falling out
It's like
Up until this point
It's not even like
It's been
It's not been so tight
To begin with
Yeah
But these very clear decisions
You're doing a thing
That will obviously lead to this
And you know it
But you do it anyway
And then don't understand
Why it happens
Okay, that's
That annoys me
That really annoys me
What did you think of
The rest of the series?
The rest of it was fun
It's quite good
Yeah
And it provides you
With your roster of
Like waifus to choose from
And it provides you with
Or waifus, huh?
Yeah
And it provides you with
Your really cool mech design
Some of the mechs
And the way they fight them
Was really cool
Yeah
It's clever in that
The fight
It's a mecha show
But the way the fights are
Handled is
A more of a jojo battle
Where it's like
There is a problem
That has been presented
Because the mech boss
You're fighting
Has a specific characteristic
He has a characteristic
And if you don't know it
You will not win this battle
You cannot win this
But it is in
Yeah
That's a jojo battle
In space
Yes
In space
In our honor
And so your main guy
Is just really good
At being a tactician
He's smart
That's interesting
And he's running
He's running around
In
A training suit
Oh, what the
Fuckin
Zaku
Okay, Zone of the Enders
Two
The fucking thing you started
Before you get Jehu T
I don't
LeV
Yeah, you're running around
In an LeV
Fighting
Unbelievable
Unstoppable
And a new miss
Yeah
Because you're just a really good tactician
Yeah
And then that person
Just fucks the moves
At the very end
That's super smart
Person
No, no, no
There's a matter
Yeah
It's like
There's a little bit of a Gundam seed thing
Where you have two main guys
Okay
Except the machine doesn't matter
If the guy is not as good as you
That's cool
Yeah
Well
They just outsmart them
But he makes use of
The very specific circumstances
Of where am I standing
Right
What can I use
How can I solve this battle
Which has a
A giant mech
With a literal
Impenetrable shield
All over the body
Yeah
And when you touch it
You take damage
You disappear
Yeah
That's more than taking damage
Like you solve this problem
You know
It has some
Pour water on it
Yeah
But god
That fucking terrible ending
I know a lot of people
Thought it was terrible
But I know a lot of people
Really liked it
Well, it's not
It was more annoying
It's the same as the end
It's like
Half the people really hated it
And a lot of other people
Really liked it
It's divisive
It's like
I don't mind if it's written
In a way where a character
Makes poor choices
And it goes
As a result of
This character's mentality
Like I understand
Yeah
When that's the tragic flaw
But in this case
It didn't feel like that
It just felt like
I don't get consequences
And that
I don't remember it
Specifically because
I watched it
Like the day it came out
Which was like
A month ago
What
The last episode was a month ago
It said like
September 20th
I think
Was the air date
For December 1st
Oh, yeah, you're right
There's a lot of people
Anyway, I'm not
Yeah
But regardless
I haven't watched it in a bit
I don't remember it being that iffy
But I don't know
I like the show
I'm glad to hear you liked it though
Yeah
No
Like everything up to that point
And
Whatever
I
Like
Continued playing a bunch of
Triple deluxe
Which
Has
Continue
When did you start
A while ago
No
You didn't mention it before
He started when we went to
Packs
Yeah
Yeah
On the way
Yeah
Kirby's still adorable
Yeah
Still great
I mean, I got a ton of play out of
DDD's drum
Thing
And Kirby Fighters
Those were great
And then the main adventure
Is really fun
And I'm just bringing it up
Because it does something notable
Which is
This is the second game
I can think of
That makes actively
Solid use of the 3D
Mario Land has
3D Land
Yeah
3D Land
Is still like
The right way to do it
It's the right way to do it
And Kirby has some great moments
Of using the 3D as well
I started Triple Deluxe
But I don't
Maybe I'd need to play the
You know, you go
It's only further
And you start seeing
Where there's levels
Where you have a background
And a foreground
And
When you're fighting a boss
That jumps between the two
And
Certain powers
Let you attack
Foreground
Background
And switch it up
It starts getting really fun
Okay
So like Mutant Muds
Kind of in that sense
Mutant Muds
Didn't have like
It didn't have like
It was constant switch
But the depth thing
The depth thing like Mutant Muds
But more switching back and forth
Okay, cool
And like
A lot of the bosses
That you're used to
Like Cracko
And Hammer Joe
And stuff like that
Cracko's the fucking best
Yeah, so
But now you're fighting
Now you're fighting Cracko
With like
New moves
Where he slides into the
Foreground or the background
And then you have to leap at him
And he does
He does like a lightning strike
That covers the entire plane
That you have to switch
You have to switch over
And then you know
Mix it up and stuff
And it's fine
I think Top Hunter did that
Did it?
SNK Top Hunter
Okay
And I think Shantae on the DS
But otherwise
I'm struggling
There's actually a few more
I remember right down there
It's really
I like the two plane thing
It's fucking awesome
Yeah, yeah
All right
News
What's news
There's none
Thanks for tuning into this podcast
Well, first things first
Is Ubi, please
Thank you, Ubi
You want to run that first?
Yeah, what up?
Well, this is
No, this is Ubi thanks
Ubi thanks
But no
It's Ubi thanks
Which is a follow-up to Ubi, please
It's a consequence to Ubi, please
No, they totally canceled
The season pass for Assassin's Creed
And everyone gets that first DLC free
Which is
Which is really
Consumer friendly actually
Yeah
That's because when you said it
They didn't cancel it
It's just like
They stopped sales
They stopped sales of it
So people cannot
Erroneously buy it
Yeah
I guess that
It's true, it was only that thread
That said
Yeah
And for people like me
That had the season pass
You get a free game
Which is pretty cool
And one of those free games is Far Cry 4
Which is awesome
And that should be your free game
That you pick up
And then the other free game is The Crew
Which I am having a sneaking suspicion
Is going to come out like Unity
Well
There's a bunch of other free games too
Oh yeah
Those are the newest
You get Rayman Legends and
Black Flag
Watch Dogs and Black Flag
Yeah
Watch Dogs
They'll make up for the disappointment of Unity
Yeah
But good for you, Ubi
Yeah, definitely
They'll make some wrongs
And they've also put out
Like some statement saying
Hey, the new patch was good
We still got more
Yeah
We're going to fix this
Which is good
You know what's great
Doing that
Instead of
You know what
We're not fixing Mark and Origins
Let's just make the DLC
You know what's better than both
Delaying your games
So that none of this happens
Sure, definitely
But
Miss the quarter
Fuck it
I don't care
I don't care anymore
I don't care about delays anymore
I know
I'm an adult now
I know
But in an annualized franchise
Which releases this year
Because it also
It's a fly-annual franchise
Is it also
Like
I'm also the opinion that
Like nowadays
Especially this year
They should have to fucking
Delay your games
But at the same time
It's like
Investors
Or night investors
Where gamers go
You delayed it
What's wrong with it?
A lot
A lot
But you don't want to tell people that
Remember a show called
I Love Lucy
I'm a big one
I know
I don't remember it
Because it was a chocolate though
Ever seen it
And you have this conveyor belt
Oh no
You got to eat them fast
That's game development
So you can't
You can't
You stop the Assassin's Creed
And the chocolate
Won't go through the conveyor belt
Well actually
You mentioned that
Like
That's what EA is doing
With Battlefield
Like
But EA can
Then again
Ubisoft should be able to
Yes
Because Far Cry is good
And
Battlefield was like
On a two-year cycle
And like
They're still delaying
Hardline
Six extra months
Because they admitted that
Like
We've
Fucked the pooch on four
And EA just stopped
Making basketball games
Yeah
Because they're like
Shit
The basketball one
In particular was
Interesting because it's like
They did it twice
They did it twice
They cancelled that game
Twice
Because they just can't
Make a good enough basketball game
In one year
They can't
You remember
Oh God
Does MLB the show
Continue to exist
Yeah
Absolutely
Not for a little while
But
MLB
Just came out
Oh just
MLB the show
Is notable
Because
That is
Only on some places
It's made by
Sony San Diego
So it's made by
Sony San Diego
Every year
Like almost every other sports game
Comes out every two years
And it is
The de facto baseball game
You want to play a baseball game
You play the fucking show
Right
No you should play baseball
But
Here's the thing
The
Agreement
That Sony has
With the MLB
Says put out a gamer
Every year
It's exactly the same
As the
NFL
Agreement
That
EA has
And very such
Sony takes
The fine
On the contract
Wow
So that they get
That's fucking cool
They
Eat the cost
Of failing
To
That contract
To make a game
To make a way
Way better game
That
Totally dominates the baseball market
There's literally
No competition
Yeah
Because
Their baseball game
It's two years
Everybody else got one
Yeah
They have no chance
Yeah
That's what they got
I never even considered that
As a solution
See
That's the thing
You say that
And it's like
Right
But you could just
Not
Especially with the
Assassin's Creed
Where they
Own Assassin's Creed
You could guarantee
Yourself 40%
Bigger sales
And not
These
Catastrophic
Fucking stock market
Decreases
If you just
Didn't want to
I want to just
Step in
That's like
Absolute bullshit
I know
But like
Go look at
There's like
It's above where
It was
Before
Right now
Before a period
It's still lost money
Like I explained
It's something that
Happens with
Every electronic
It's not tied to
Equality thing
Fine
You're right
That being said
You would get
More sales
Like
More consistent sales
That you would
Also be able
To keep the game
Series going
For twice
As long
Before it burns
Out
The idea
Of like
A business
Dudley cross-counter
Where you just
Take the head
Like
Like that works
And it'll be
Let's them get away with it
Because they get their
They get their money
They don't give a shit
They have Farka
And then
Fucking Assassin's Creed
Farka is really like
You know
Two is like
It did well
But it's just like
Three was
Really like
Whoa
Right
And four is the fixed three
Yeah
So I was like
Why don't they just
Fucking
Like switch them out
Every year
No they both
Need to come out
Every year
I'm good and evil
And
Prince of Persia
Santa Time
Guess what
Both
What two of those games
Bombed were
Not Splinter Cell
So they
Eat their own
Sales sometimes
Dude
Far cry for
Assassin's Creed Unity
Assassin's Creed Rogue
And the crew
Are all coming out
Within 30 days
Of one another
Yeah
That's
The two
Assassin's Creed games
Came out on the same
Fucking day
That was an experiment
Let's not even
Like include
Just Dance 2014
You're right
You're right
Fucking
What was that
Valiant Hearts
Released like a month before
Like
Spread it out
Fuckers
Holy shit
It's one thing to say
Spread it out
But it's hard for Ubisoft
Cause like
It's hard to
Describe just how big
They're almost
10,000 employees
They're like
You can't
More than three
Nintendo
Turning
Turning
It takes a year
Just to turn the boat
But the thing is
Like
While they are that huge
The number one
Priority should be
Your calendar
Like setting up your
Calendars
Feels like it should be
Paramount
But their calendar
Is consistent
Every year
Sometimes they do this
Remember
Because they have
10,000 employees
Sometimes they do this
Remember
Rainbow Six Patriots
There's a gigantic video
Showing that game
And then it just
Went dark
And then they're just like
We can't
That shit
Why?
They're like
No, no, the division
Shut up now
The division
Don't look at Patriots
No, no, not the division
Don't look at the division
Look at Rainbow Six Siege
Yeah
But that's what I'm saying
About their calendar
Like already
We gave out Siege
And the division
Next year
And then there's
Assassin's Creed
And Unity
Engine 2 game
And you know
Like
I have a real
Strong feeling
That the division
Is gonna be
The next
Destiny
The next
Long time
And
Destiny was
Developed for a long
Fucking time
Yeah, but then they
Like halfway through
They just
And I should mention
What I mean by the next
Destiny
I mean the next
Oh, it's gonna be
The most amazing multiplayer
Online
I don't know
And then you go
And you're like
If you do a campaign
And then you beat it
And then a guy talks
To you
It's already better than
Destiny
We've got announcements
We've got all kinds
Hand me with some
Announcements
Just blast them all over
Okay
We're gonna do
We're gonna run it quick
We've got
Scholar of the first sin
Dark Souls 2
So
The LP never stops
No
The LP's going to stop
The LP
We're not
We're not doing this
We're not doing this
Oh wait
You're actually not
Doing it?
No
The whole game
Is gonna get
Rebalanced
And
Enemies moved around
I assumed you were
Gonna replay to that section
And then go out
I don't know
If that section's
One section
Two
Uh
Vanilla
Or whatever
Gonna read a bunch of patches
Uh
And no
Scholar of the first sin
Seems really weird
That game's coming out
Like three weeks
Or two weeks
Even after Bloodborne
Yeah
That's crazy
That's
Bad timing
I don't agree
I think HD
Re-releases and remakes
Can have any timing
And their tail
This isn't an HD
Re-release though
For all intents and purposes
It is man
Console-wise
This game
Is gonna be
And it's gonna sell
For years
Okay well
And you know
You know that thing
Where like early Xbox 360 games
You find for ten dollars
In the bargain myth
Yeah
Because of how games work now
It's gonna be ten dollars
Digitally for years
I mean
Who's it for?
Who's it for?
People that don't own it
The people that are
Gonna buy Bloodborne
Are buying fucking Bloodborne
You got a point
The end
So I guess
I guess a lot of this
Is just the negativity
Over the initial release
Because the DirectX 11
Version of this
Is a separate game
On PC
Yeah
So that's the thing
Is like
And worse than that
It's splitting
All the user bases
A console jump
Is a lot more tangible
And you can see
And understand
It's the DirectX 11
Version
And when that got announced
You were here
And you were playing Dark Souls
And you asked
Well
Changing DirectX 9
To DirectX 11
You can't just
Patch that in
Can you?
I go
Yeah you can
Of course you can
Like Far Cry
Has a
A rendering
API
Option in its menu
In the settings
Not all games are built equally
So who knows
That being said
So on Twitter
Ben and Emko said
We're gonna be
Really excited
To announce some upgrade
Plans for PC players
So what this better be
Is like sleeping dogs
I don't know if you guys
Know how sleeping dogs
Definitive
It's like
Do you own sleeping dogs?
Yeah
Okay then you're gonna pay
For ten bucks
Which is the DLC
Yeah
And then
That's totally fine
But if they're like
No just buy the game again
Yeah
Well if they said
There's an upgrade plan
That's already pretty good to hear
Yeah
As long as it
Shows up
Yeah
Safe compatibility
Yeah
Man
This could either be
Like amazing
Or the most disappointing thing ever
And if it's disappointing
You can just play Bloodborne
Yeah
Because like
If they fix
Like soul memory
And how
Like that item durability bug
And just
Just a couple
Like
Mechanics
Just fix it a little bit
If they trade out half the bosses
For new better ones
I was about to say
I was about to say
They're not redoing out the
No
But
Maybe
Maybe they are
They said they're gonna re-texture it
And put in better lighting
So maybe we're gonna get
That original lighting
We will see
Because if they
If they fix the lighting
If they fix a couple
Like gameplay issues
That are a long term problem
And a couple bugs
And re
You know
Populate the world
Like that could
Actually be
Like a much better game
Oh absolutely
But
I'm looking forward to it
Yeah
We've got
The only other game
Announcement
Equally on par
With fucking Dark Souls 2
Gunman Clive 2 is coming out
Yeah
Yeah
He can play as a duck again
Hell yeah
And it's got those
Behind the back
Horse riding
Like riding missions
Yeah
Lots of red
Gunman Clive
Is like
One of the ultimate
Like holy shit
Success stories out of nowhere
Like that
That's made by
And his brother
Barrel
Barrel on Neogath
Barrel
And he just like
If you remember seeing
I probably gave you that chart
Yeah
Where he's like
It did okay on an iOS
And then every successive device
It did better
It did better
And now it's like
A 3DS exclusive
Or something
You know
Initially it is
He brought something
That people were looking
For
At a good price
That was the main thing
But nanos
It's 2 bucks
We're living
With Kickstarter
And with Indies like this
Time
In which we get to see
That there are
What's called an
Un-served market
Yeah
There are people that want
This genre
And that genre
Hasn't existed for 10 years
So
You just have to
Fill the gap
So when it comes in
And it's good
It explodes
And everyone goes
Whoa, sleeper head
But I mean like
There are games like
Mutant Mudge and stuff
That are basically
Like Mega Man type games
Like Mega Man Clive is
But like he said
The price
That it came out at
Price is nuts
We couldn't fight that
What's the price?
It's a buck 99
That's pretty good
That's pretty good
So yeah
Trailer for Part 2
That's so nothing
That it's nothing
I hear they announced
The sequel to one of the best
Games of all time ever
And it's a competitive
Online multiplayer game
Okay
So are we talking about
Secret Ponchos?
Nozgoth?
No
I'm excited for Secret Ponchos
Because Secret Ponchos
Looks like the shit
I have not been looking
At Secret Ponchos
For the past year
I have not been looking
Amazing for a long time
Secret Ponchos looks really cool
And it's coming out today
Yeah I know
I'm super excited to play it
Tell me what game
You're talking about
Secret Ponchos
I'm not talking about
Secret Ponchos
Why what's up I think
You're brother
Okay what were you talking about
Secret Ponchos is a top view
Almost like
Some asymmetric kind of view
And
Fighting western
Style game
It's a twin stick
PvP western
Okay
That sounds cool
It's dude's art
Characters play
Draftically different
From each other
And you just
You do it
And it's like a fighting game
Looks great
You have PlayStation Plus
Yeah
No excuse
It's free
Do I have it
You have it
I gotta check that
Tomorrow
You have that
Okay Lee
What game are you talking about
No no
What is the game
Yeah you want
Metal Gear Online
Oh we are finally circling back
No
It's the sequel
To the sequel
One of the best games ever
Oh I know
I know
I was gonna get there
I'm so fucking excited
You're excited
But I'm so annoyed
Metal Gear Online
Opening and closing
And opening and closing again
Yeah
Hopefully this one
Can stay open
And hopefully
You can sign up for it
It will
And hopefully
I'm sure
This will be the one
Where they will not
Have any bullshit
Sign in to KojimaNet
Sign in to
Have a PS2 Ethernet
Chronic ID
Chronic ID
You know
But Chronic ID
Stopped me
From playing that game
This is the lessons learned
Where they're finally
Integrated with regular console stuff
Cause Kojima is that forward thinking
Snake
Or
Orc's
20 guards
On a map
The size of Ground Zeroes
Go
Go
Or it'll be
The time locked
Experience that MGO always is
This one
Where you get to enjoy it
For the lifespan
Of the game
And then it's dead
But when you're doing it
Because it was like
The only game where I was like
I'm actually gonna
Sell this bullshit on my PS2
To play it
And it was glorious
When it lasted
No
That's why MGS4 is on my list
It's this horrible thing
That like
Only MMO players
Get this feeling
Because it's like
This amazing
MGO on subsistence
Was fucking
Mind-blowing
It was amazing
And you can't play it
You at home
Tough
Can't play it
Not even in age
You will never play it
Because it's
Unless you do the fan hack
Yeah
But
Well even Metal Gear Online
On PS4
Is really fucking good
It's not as good as MGO on
I never got to it
Why not
Because Konami ID stopped me
I didn't have a hard time with that
I remember trying
And I just
Oh that's a shame
I couldn't make it go
And that's gonna be revealed
At Keely Show
Yeah
I'm excited for that
It'll be good
Jeff Keely is funding
The Game Awards this year
It's got
Totally out of pocket
Yeah that's insane
But like
Wow he's devoted to this
I guess
Kudos to him
Shout out to him
I hope it doesn't turn into
A giant train wreck
Well what's his face isn't
Gonna be there this year so
Community
Joel McHale
Oh god damn
I waited to ruin that show last year
Yeah although that show
Was already pretty
Ruiny to begin with
Though I kinda like
The train wreck man
I think
So I disagree
I loved
I loved
McHale
Some of those moments
That's how I feel
About award shows
Yeah
Some of those moments
Well I think
Award shows are dumb
I think they should just have
Here's the trailer show
And just show
It's all revealed
Sure
Well there's gonna be
Like a bunch of trailers
In the trailer show
So you can watch that
Yeah
I just don't want
Yeah
I don't want the award parts
We got
Broken Age Act II
Early 2015
Can't wait
Sounds good
Did you guys play
The first act at all
It's sitting on
My Steam Library
Underneath the unplayed
Which has
A billion games in it
Okay you should fix that
It's only like
I bought it
It's good
I will
It's good
Before I die
And I think
Play Broken Age
You know what
I'll probably
I'll probably
Have a lot more impetus
To play it
Once the second part is out
Any other
Adventure game
Things coming out
This week
Yeah we got
An action adventure game
Coming out
From David Jaffe
He's working on
A new game
For Sony
Under his
Name
Yeah
The Bartlett Jones
Hold on
This is his third
Or fourth company now
That he's started
Well after
Eat Sweet Play
Eat Sweet Play
Like
I think this is his third
Um
God
The Bartlett Jones
Goes
Supernatural
Detective Agents
Supernatural
That's gonna last
Way to have a name
For your company
That for your friends
Can snicker about
Cause that's the most
Inside name ever
It seems like
They're making a game
For Sony
Because they're
Revealing it
At the PlayStation
This week
So that's
God damn
That's this week
It's on the fifth
Fifth and sixth
Oh that's the trailer
Show I want
And it's right after
The game awards
Not the beach
So when you're
Watching the game
Awards
They'll be like
A really suspicious
Lack of Sony announcements
Because
They're all gonna
All tomorrow
Yeah
Also
China get
Hype
Because
Infinity Blade Destiny
Which is an
Infinity Blade port
That
Was Destiny
Subtunnel
Subtunnel
Yeah
Infinity Blade
Like console game
That you used
With the Kinect
Wait is it actually
Infinity Blade
It's Infinity Blade
No no
No it's totally
Infinity Blade
Why is it only for China
Cause well
For now it is
Cause Epic Games
Is owned by Tencent
Which is a Chinese company
I did not know that
Aren't they owned by Tencent
Anyway they have
I think everyone's
A Chinese killer app
Well it's for one reason
Or another
That's where they're putting it
You know what
I think that has
Actual potential
I know all about this
So here just give me a sec
So it's Infinity Blade
One through three
All mashed together
In the same game
And like made into
A fancy good feeling
Game
And not some just
Jagged collection
You know what I mean
Yeah
And for now it is
For China
And they said
They're looking at
KS4 and the rest of the
World in the future
But for now
Since it's being
Made in China
And the connect thing
It's actually looking
Interesting in the sense
That like to block
You have to put the gesture
Up to block
Hey Tencent
How about you mother fuckers
Bringing over that god damn
Chinese monster hunter
MMO
With the war ends on
Fucking cry tech
Cry engine
Yeah what a great engine
Cry engine
Dude it looks amazing
Rathians have never had
So many polygons
I'm just making fun
A sonic game
But if
No if
Infinity Blade
Literally never looked
They're gonna patch that game
To put in PS2 models
You watch
Infinity Blade can be
The exception to the rule
With iOS games
Yeah
Maybe it can be
The exception to connect
Maybe
No definitely
It's so simple
And dance
Dance central always
Was that thing
The one game
That you know
Connect
But
D4
Right
I didn't play with connect
I thought you said
You and your
I mean I tried it
For like a little bit
But not
To any
Wow
What a non-shill
What cause I was like
I was like
Really?
Cause I thought it'd be the reverse
No it was alright
Yeah I think that's my problem
Is even in the game
It was like
Oh man this is the best use
Of this technology
Like Infinity Blade
On iOS
I was like
This is the best touch
Controls ever
I'm like
I would rather
Use a goddamn analog stick
Yeah
Turn it to punch out
Like maybe that's just
Cause I'm old
No
Yeah so you're young
I agree
And it's double weird
Because it's like
Xbox over in China
Like how
Fucking
You mean the place
Yeah
Wow
What negative number
Is that performance at
At this point
Like is that
We don't know
The sales numbers for
Xbox in China have been
Fine so far
Like the initial numbers
Were like a hundred thousand
Units shipped and it's like
Okay
I think they're rationed
To a specific amount
Yeah they're rationed
To a specific amount as well
But like
It's worth noting
That the company that's
Doing Xbox in China
Also kind of is doing
PS4 also
So they're interested
In China?
Yeah
In China
It's kind of
China and Brazil
Are growing as huge game places
Now let's slide that
A little bit of that map
A little bit over
And look at
Xbox over in Japan
It is
Doing
Horribly
It's hard to state
Just how poorly it's doing
Well actually it's not
I just went with a
With a
It's very easy
I just went there
It's like full on
38,000
38,000
We're sold
I'm glad I managed
To remember that number
That's a pretty good
And what
Ever
In Japan
Lifetime
Oh
Whoa
I thought you were
Gonna say in the month
Of November
No
Japanese lifetime sales
38
If I'm not mistaken
That's below
The launch numbers
For 360
That's below
Xbox original
As well
So hey
It's a good idea
To release your
Unpopular console
In this country
In a time
Where all consoles
Are unpopular
Well you
Gotta try
Right?
I don't think
Xbox's launch
In Japan
Can do
Be anything other than
A catastrophic loss
So here's the news
Xbox Japan boss
Takashi Senzu
Resigns
Well
He's working
For the company
But he's no longer
I gotta get a real job
Because he's working
On Microsoft America
Right?
Yeah
No I think
He's still in Japan
But he's doing
A different job
I think I saw America
That's gotta be hard
I'm pretty sure
He moved to America
Because
I bet
He's like
Xbox One
Is a fine console
It's okay
I don't have one
It's a good buy
But for you to like
He must bust the
I don't doubt
That that guy
Busted his ass
Yeah
Right?
And he's met with like
No one cares man
Well you're being handed
The worst fucking gig
And you've gotta play it
You gotta play through it
The audience doesn't give a fuck
They don't wanna hear
Your shitty music
But you've gotta just
Sit up there
And do your half an hour
And you know
Here's the thing though
The reason why
The reason why
The reason why
The reason why
The reason why
They even attempted to bring
And you killed back
Where polka comes from
Yeah exactly
They love you there
In Scandinavia
The reason why
The original Xbox
Even came out of Japan
Cause he's like
Well we wanna get
Japanese games on the system
And we wanted
The selling Japan
Do you remember that interview
Where Blackwell
Was talking about
How they had Makami
In the room
And they fucking failed
To get RE4
As an exclusive
For the Xbox
Yeah
They just
They fucked
Like some miscommunication
Of like
One dick head businessman
Caused RE4
To go to the GameCube
Instead of the Xbox
Yeah and then
He was like
Interested in seeing
What Microsoft had to say
But when that one flub
He's like
Ah fuck it
I'm gonna go
He hates
Shinji Bakami
At that time
Had a hate boner
For Sony for whatever reason
Yeah
He was like bitter
About Kingdom Hearts
He would cut his own head off
He was like
Because Microsoft fucked up
I'll just go to the place
Least likely
Nintendo
And then
They missed out on that
Do you remember what
The flub was?
No it was some
They kept him waiting
It was something
Relatively minor
It might have even
Been a translation thing
But just
Kind of rude
And just blew the meeting
Basically just blew the meeting
And that
Like Matt
You're totally right
That's why the Xbox
Even launched in Japan
It didn't launch
So the consumers
Would get it
It launched so that
They'd get his hands on the Xbox
Yeah
And be like
Hey the Xbox
And they released the 360
In hopes that maybe
We can do better
But it's like
Now you just know
That you can't
And now it's not even
Important to sell games
Like now Japan
Wants to sell games
And everywhere else
Because
That's where
The actual month
Yeah so Japanese
There's a lot of Japanese
Companies
Like Tecmo Koai
And stuff
Where their presidents
Are speaking out
And they're like
We are really fucking
Trying to get Japanese
Sales up
It's hard
It's hard to turn around
On any console
It's gotta be one of the
Pre-existing
Fucking like
Genre archetypes
Or it's nothing
As far as getting
Sales in Japan goes
It's like
These things sell
And these things that don't
Sell
Sell zero
Kind of yeah exactly
And it's like
There's no in between there
You get scale bound
Or maybe some other
Japanese game
And it's not
Because platinum cares about
Like
I don't care
I care about selling
Fucking units
Wherever
America's so big
If it's in Europe
Like great
And you got to see
Like Square
Trying to do that
It's like no
We need to make global games
Because the Japanese market
Is
Oh shit
But then they went
Way too far
And they're like
No
We shouldn't make global games
For the world
We should make Japanese games
And just send them everywhere
Which is
Like actually not a bad
Lo and behold
Yeah wow look
We defaulted pretty good
Yeah
Yeah it sucks
Microsoft's lucky that
There's still companies
That want to support them exclusively
Companies like
Experience
And mages
Supported them all the way
Through the 360
But those companies don't do numbers
Like
I was looking through some release
You know
I was looking through some release
Like lists
Do you know who fucking
Supported the Xbox
More than anyone
Even more so than Microsoft
Fucking from software
Basically made half the games
That were released on that
There's a lot
There's a lot
There's a couple
That we don't even know
Murakumo
Murakumo
Which is what they just
Heard about
And I'm like
Oh my god
They made so many fucking games
For the Xbox
I have a strong belief
That that like kneecapped
From software
For a good long time
Up until Demon's Souls
Because like
The only thing that made it
To other platforms
Was the Armored Core series
Yeah
Which was not
Like I
I don't care if you like Armored Core
That's fine
But Armored Core is not
Fucking a togi
Uh
From software
A togi just kicks ass
In that generation
Because they did like
Eternal Ring on the PS2
And both Lost Kingdoms games
On the GameCube
Oh it's true
You look around
And they were just
So in everywhere actually
Yeah
Have you seen Murakumo?
I bought
I bought a copy
You got it?
Of course I bought a copy
I saw a video of it
And I was like
Oh this is worth it
This is worth a video
It's rough
Yeah
Yeah well
You'll sit on that couch
Um
So yeah
Fucking
The greatest amiibo
Of all time
Is the saddest amiibo
Not only can you get
The double arm cannon variant
You can fucking unlock
Russian metro stations
Now the thing is
Supposedly this is a hack
And what's up is
It will make the light
Turn green
But it won't necessarily
Open the game
Yeah
But sometimes it does open the game
Apparently it just opens
Really quickly
But then it like
Because usually the light
Stays green long enough
That you can walk by
And in this case
As soon as you pull it off
It goes away
What the fuck
Whatever it is
Funged numbers are doing something
Well it's like
Hey you got an opus card right
Yeah
Pull out and look at it
You see that chip
Yeah exactly
What do you think is in an amiibo
Yeah it's that
It's that
Which is also in your bank card
Which is also in
Yeah
So what are we going to see
We're going to see that
NFC technology is going to get
Co-opted by dirtbags
To do crazy
Crazy shit
Yeah maybe
Um
The security for NFC
Is really insane in Japan though
Like because NFC is
Way more popular there
Than it is here
Like by a factor of like
A bazillion
Oh I know this
That's a scientific number
A bazillion
Yeah a bazillion
So like
A hojillion
Depending on how fast
We get advanced NFC stuff
Yeah
We'll see how bad people
Get into it
There's a really cool
Um
Thing with Canadian joysticks
They have weeklies
And so they have a
They have a weekly tournament
Over in Vancouver
And so this was going
And a player entered
Called Waveshine
And it was basically
Playing Fox
And went up to Loser Semi
Just wiping the floor
With everybody
And what not
And lost
Right at Loser Semi
And then it was revealed
That Waveshine was an Amiibo
This Amiibo
Got to Loser Semi
At level 30
Because
Place third
Attorney
Because it's that fucking hard
Because it reads your
It reads it once
And it has fucked up stats
Like you can have
Legit Amiibo tournaments now
Like I can't believe
Amiibo cock fighting
Is a thing I was serious about
I've always wanted to have
An Amiibo tournament
Ever since that announcement
And it's the point where
Like you could
See, this is where Amiibo
Gets cool
Because it's when people
Start using Amiibos
As like money matches
What?
No, I was going to say
People said
Like I would watch
Amiibo salty bet
Right
Right
We could do that
Totally
What's the second
Like the most
Obvious ultimate
Amiibo game
Is to capitalize on this
And make not Pokemon
But like
Like your Amiibos
You play as them
So like
You cock fight
With your Amiibo
Well that's the whole premise
And they don't go up to
Level 50
They go up to like
Level 1000
Of course
That's what the disney
But it's like
And then
And then
And then you find out that
Amiibos are actually
From a magic forest
Yeah
I want
I want
I want
I want my
Amiibo
To be the very best
Like
No one ever was
But it's like
Level 50
They're already doing
Frame perfect inputs
Rolls dodges
And so on
What the fuck
They're reacting
They're reacting to inputs
That can't be imported
Yeah
Like
That's absurd
That's very tight
We should have just used
Our Amiibos
And pretended it was us
But you can tell
No you can't
Yeah
You can see the level
Not to the untrained
You're not that good at that
Why is this blur
Constantly on that
Amiibo
Our names are all F.P.
Shut up
That's true
That's for friend power
Barf
Thank you
Sure
The
This was really cool
So the guy
That designed the mechs
In Revengeance
Yeah
Is designing mechs
For Xenoblade Chronicles X
Yeah he is
Oh what do you mean
Design the mechs
In Revengeance
The robot shit
You mean all the electronic
Mechanical designs
Yeah okay
Okay so just character
The rafters
The
The
The
The mechanical
Of course
There are robots
Celcius
Yeah
Which is not one of the
The best words
Me and Matt first went to
Two legged
Two armed mechs
Like
You get in and pilot
The cockpit
Of them
Okay
Yeah exactly
Yeah
That's cool
Yeah I can catch it
Was just a fun little tidbit
Like Yeah
Good cause if your games
About mechs
Those mech designs
Better be cool
Better be the
The thing I'm sick of
It's why they're called dolls
Especially if your
Living up to stuff like
The Xenogires mechs
Which are so cool
They're a bit passe
No they're not
They're super cool
The only thing I really
Don't like about the Xenogires mechs
Is that the well tall
Which is
Phase mech
They're constantly
Referred to it
Is a black gear
Despite the fact that
It is clearly blue
No
You're clearly color blind
No it's blue
I'll get the case
Out right now
Um
He's actually looking back
He's actually doing it
Sure
In the meantime
Like I just love
Like random little fun
Tip of things where like
Someone writes
A physics
That's fucking blue
Wow
Yeah
That plays really well
On the podcast
It's kind of blue tinted
But I can see
How people could interpret
That as black
Yeah you would think that
You're fucking asshole
It was interesting tidbits
Someone wrote a physics paper
On what it would be like
In a world where
Mario Galaxy
Planets existed
And they're like this
Dumb
It would not work
Like the TLDR of it is
Your head would inflate
Yeah
And your face would pop
And then the planet would just explode
The moment it came into existence
The end
It was birth
Is that because they're too small?
It doesn't make any
To have that level of gravity
On something that small
And Rosalina
Your galaxy is bullshit
Like everyone would turn into the
The end of Total Recall
The original
And then just die
But way faster
Way faster than that
That's what real Mario Galaxy
Would be
Sick
Can't wait for that
In Quaid's head
Was it all in Mario's head?
Get your ass to battle
Battle block
And of course
Speaking of old movies
We can roll into the trailers
That all popped up this week
Jurassic World
Look at all these young
Pretty hot people
That are going to get eaten
By a super dinosaur
Say goodbye kids
I've followed Jurassic World
For a while
They've started
And restarted
Cancelled
And recancelled
Steven Spielberg's going to do it
He's not
It's had a plague development cycle
But now they've got Chris Prett
So it's all locked in
Yeah
So I heard Chris Prett
And I went who
And then
And then
The Guardians of the Galaxy
And then of course
Oh
That's the fat guy
From Parks and Recreate
Yeah
Yeah exactly
So
That's awesome
And then I watched
The actual trailer
And I went
I don't know
I don't know
If I think that
Pratt's line
He has a line in the trailer
That says
So you decided to
Make a new dinosaur
I don't think that's a good idea
And kind of dry
And I don't think
If I don't know
If I hate that line
Or I love it
Like
Yes
It's kind of a witty
Like ha ha
Don't
You're going to get eaten
But it's like
It's so on the nose
Because that's clearly
Before it goes back
It might be also a thing
And that's
Slightly out of context
The line
And sometimes
The type of shit
I don't know
I don't know
I didn't get a real
Like Bryce Dallas Howard
The awful
Fucking
The awful
Betty
Not Betty Brandt
Oh my god
I can't remember
I can't remember a name
A Spider-Man
Gwen Stacy
The awful Gwen Stacy
From Spider-Man 3
Sure
And the woman from
Lady in the Water
If all of us
Thankfully don't remember
That M Night Shyamalan
I remember that movie
She was that red-headed
Scientist
Superhot young person
Yeah
And there's like
No character in the movie
You know what I mean
So was this
Yes I do
Was this started
It seems very
Phantomenos-y
We'll get to that
Wow
Was this
Restarted on the heels
Of Lost World
Or even before
What do you mean by
It started on the heels
J.P.3
Like was this
Was this movie
Interesting World
Since
Since Jurassic Park 3
It's like
You can go back to
Articles saying
There's gonna be a fourth Jurassic Park
Then there's not
Then three later
It comes back up again
Then four years later
Blah blah blah blah
And then they were really close
To starting it
Then Steven Spielberg said
And specifically
Your script is garbage
And then they stopped it
And then it started back up
That's a sick burn
That Spielberg
That'll lock out
Your entire fucking
Lockout
Yeah
Like
That's a lockout
Not gonna combo
Someone fucking
Put the wrong input there
Try to combo
Break it and
Fucked up
Fuck
So yeah
There's something about it
That
Why did the CG look worse
Than Jurassic Park 1?
The Brontosaurus
Is it walking around?
Did the Cp1
Use practical effects?
It uses both
It uses both
Okay bro
In JP1
In JP1
They do the smart thing
Anything that people
Don't have to interact with
Is CG
Yeah
Anything that people
Have to actually
Be next to
Is practical
Yeah
So that you don't get that
You know
It's the name of the scene
Where the T-Rex puts its face
Right next to the
That's a real head
Because if you did that
In CG
You wouldn't get the heat
And the
The hair
Which is
Which is the right way
To fucking do it
But I do know
The fully digital
T-Rex
Because I remember this
It was a terabyte
Of data
Which back then
Was
Half the world
That was half the world's data
It was for that fucking
Special effect
Exactly
So yeah
That was nuts
Um
Yes
Yes
Of course
The Force Awakens
Black stormtroopers
Of course
Black stormtroopers
I believe that's
Moses from
Attack the block
I believe that's
The guys from
Fucking spaceballs
Combing the desert
Yeah
Yeah
So
I thought that
Immediately
And then someone
From the video
Was up within an hour
Yeah
Of course
This black stormtrooper
And where the fuck
Are my wipes?
Oh
Not in a trailer
Never
Not in a trailer
You're gonna be there
For sure
They better be there
It's impossible that they wouldn't
I think that
Like even the shitty fucking
Clone Wars
CG shaped
As the wipes
As the trailer went on
And
And
Oh
So I came in
I'm a big fan of
The original Star Wars movies
And I'm the one
And I'm
I'm the person who
Introduced all of you guys
To the Plinkett reviews
Yes, true
Originally
Cause those
Those fucking
It took me years to understand
How disappointed I was
For a fan of those movies
And it required
Seven hours of videos
To show you
I should mention
I'm not a big Star Wars fan
Like
Like
I don't
Read the fucking
Exciting Universe
Cause that's crazy
And I played a couple
Star Wars games
But I think those are original
But I really
Like them as films
They're super good
And
When I saw that
Abrams was picked up
And
Like
You remember why Abrams
Chose to do Star Trek?
Cause he
Aided it
Cause he never watched Star Trek
He's like
I don't like Star Trek
So he says
I'm not afraid to fuck it up
Cause
I don't know what the fuck
I don't know
And like
That kind of
Mindset is so great
And that's why he didn't
Want to do Star Wars
Cause he's
Offered it before
And he loves Star Wars
He's proclaimed
Like one of the biggest
Star Wars fans ever
Exactly
And the thing has been going
This needs to be
A goddamn
Real
Practical
Shot
Like we'll do CG
For the
Unbelievable
X-Wings
Over-the-Water
Shot
Which is amazing
But no
That
That person's
That droid's gonna be real
That thing's gonna be real
We're gonna be in the desert
We're gonna be
When people are talking
To people
You should probably
Have real shit around them
Some times
Okay
Now this begs the question
Have you seen
The George Lucas Special Edition
I did not
I saw that
That was a thing
It's what Liam was talking about
It is fabulous
It's so good
Because it's
It's not overplayed
It's just enough
It's just enough
To turn it up too much
Yeah you gotta check it out
So the
Uh, Mega 64
Also did a really good
Trailer for
Star Wars
And it's
It's just their own take on it
It's just
So these
This movie
They've found Darth Vader's hand
This movie takes place in a
Weird
30 years or so
Not period
Because I don't mean the time
Period of the movie
I mean like period
For the franchise
Cause Disney just
Uncanonized everything
Yes
It's gone
Well as a result
Of them wanting to make these movies
Right so it's like
Okay well what are they
Actually gonna keep
And they keep the one good
Thing
From the expanded universe
Which is
Just killing the emperor
Doesn't destroy
The entire empire
Yeah of course
And that's why
That's like
And they're
Like this movie assumes that
You know those added scenes
At the end of Return of the Jedi
Yeah
Those didn't happen
Because
I didn't know that
It doesn't make any sense
Why would they be celebrating
Like Coruscant is just free
Of the empire
Like all the millions of
Store troopers just disappear
As soon as the empire is around
Yeah and like
No that war
Just gonna continue
For another three movies
And the big controversy now
Is like the lightsaber
With the lightsaber
What's the lightsaber look like
So the claymore lightsaber
The claymore yeah
Well it's kinda cool
I mean like
I think it's personally cool
But I don't blame anyone
For going that stupid way
Yeah
Guess what
A lightsaber is stupid
From every single aspect
Of the lightsaber hilt
It's like
Functionally you know
What purpose that serves
It's to help you block
But
Yes
But
The laser doesn't come out
Close enough to the hilt
There's clearly
A large metal truck
You can just
Slash through the litter
Through that part
And that
And the thing is
And the clone wars
Introduced that
Style of lightsaber
Yeah
So it's like
They have to kinda go
Well we've already
Introduced
Already done stuff with this
So
There might be something
More there
Cause I originally was like
That looks dumb
That was my first reaction
Because of that exact thing
Cause of the hilt thing
And then
I was
I talked to a couple people online
And I was told to go back
And look at it
And first of all
That is the biggest lightsaber ever
That is
Like twice as long
It was a broadsword
It's
It's like
11 feet long
It's
Gigantic
It's way taller
Than a person
And the second thing
That I noticed in the trailer
It looks like a piece of shit
And I don't mean the
The
The design
I mean like
It is a
Cobbled together
Busted ass thing
Piece of junk
You know how
What a lightsaber looks like
Looks like a pure laser
Yeah
This thing's falling
Apart
It's just rattling
The blade is
Bubbling
And the
Crossguard
Doesn't look like laser beams
It looks like
Flame just
Yeah
Yeah
Yeah
And the idea is
Because
The Jedi are dead
For
Forever
And the Sith have been gone forever
It's not like
A special type
It's a bad lightsaber
A guy made it more than me
It's all I got
And there
There's some old
Expanding Universe stuff
About how old
Shitty lightsabers
Needed vents
To shoot out
Excess garbage
Yeah
Oh so that could be it
So like
I guess the idea is
That this Sith
Or dark side guy
Is just some guy
Totally separate
From the events
Of everything
Which sounds awesome
He found the crystals
And just
Just kind of figured out
How to make it
Okay
Maybe
That also could be
A fan rationalization
Yes
It could just
Actually
That being said
After
A couple times
Like yeah
Looks cool
Because every Star Wars thing
Is going to have
To realize that it was like
Twice as long
As the regular one
Like fine
You're not going to be
Blocking people with the help
Because it's like
10 feet long
Yes let's put
Guts in the Star Wars
Yeah
Why I like that
Big long
Stupid sword
It also facilitates
Not going
And throwing it all around
And doing bullshit
From like
The previous
It's
Big
Long
Big wide swing
Big wide swing
You hope
J.J.
Brooms does that
Because
Lightsaber fighting has been
The twirly twirls
For the last three
Three
Well it's because
Lucas changed his mind
Like an asshole
In the direction
For the original movies
Is okay
Mark
The lightsaber is super heavy
It's like 30 pounds
Pretend it's like 30 pounds
He's like
Okay
And that's why those fights
Look like that
Because they're supposed
To be imagining them
Swinging around
Broad source
Yeah
And then
When he does the prequel stuff
Okay
It's light
So it's totally weightless
Can you hold one in your mouth?
Design it
Whoever the fight choreography
Design it
Design what sword fights
Would look like
With weightless swords
Yeah
But it has the worst case
But like
That's the stupidest
If you have no weight in a sword
How do you even use it?
Like
You cut yourself all the time
We do
When we were watching Guy
And we were complaining about
One unfortunate flaw
Where people are not swinging
At bodies
They're swinging
At the sword of the enemies
Of course
Right
So
And fucking
Star Wars episode one
Was the one that
Broke my mind on that
Well three
No for me
It was episode three
Because
The moment
In the
With Obi-Wan
Versus fucking Anakin
Where they literally
Twirl their swords
Around next to each other
And don't hit
Or swing
Or faint
They just
They do
Fucking
It's a fake out
They do rave twists
With their glow sticks
For a while
And it's the dumbest shit
And you're like
What is the point of this
The other
Because it looks good
The other reason
That in the
In the class movie
Is why the fights
Are also like that
And then
You're right
Because I remember hearing
About how you like
You know
Changed his mind
But it's also because
The special effect was
Really hard
Yeah
So that's why
There was only like
Three fights
Ever with lightsabers
And something
Yeah
Frame by frame
But
It's just fucking hard
But no matter what
No matter
Even if it turns out
No
The little attachment
That comes out
And you're ruined
It's done
I really hope
I really hope that
Tired
I hate Star Wars
Harrison Ford
Does not ruin this movie
Because he very well could
Because he's a main character in it
And
He's a million
He's a million years old
And he hates Star Wars
Yeah
So
And he doesn't care
About acting anymore
Yeah
He'll show up in anything
Whereas
Mark Hamill
Apparently
Got super buff
Like he kind of
Fattened up over the years
Barely
Yeah
He slid it down
And he's just an old
Luke Skywalker
So that's the thing
Is that I would have liked
In the trailer
It doesn't have to be
In the dialogue
Shots of the old actors
Like one
No
Maybe even just one
Maybe even just Luke
Just him looking at the camera
And that'd be the last
Stinger Shot
That's in the trailer
That is the Stinger Shot
The lightsaber that goes on
That's the noise that
His lightsaber makes
When it turns on
And you're
Not going to get that
In the first trailer
Not Trevor
Even it's a teaser
I know
I just put the trailer
Over the top
You don't want to give
That fucking teaser
Credit for
Fucking jumps
Carrying me
In a teaser
What?
For when the black guy
No the very first moment
With the music boom
And the guy
Yeah
Don't have a print
Actually startle
Because
They're like
Oh my god
I wish the south had won
Technically in
Star Wars
The south did
That's not a hilarious
Uh
Story on destructory
That says
Well it seems
Like
No more heroes
Did the lightsaber
Hilt things first
And shows
Henry cooldowns
Lightsaber
Which if you recall
Has the exact same thing
Yeah
No actually
Henry cooldowns
Makes a lot more sense
And then it goes
Update
I have been informed
That many
Star Wars nerds
Are like
No
It was the
Expanded Universe
Fucking Marajay
Or some bullshit
No
Japan can't be the one
Dude I then
I then responded to them
With
I'm not counting
Fanfiction
That should have been
Could you imagine
If Kyle Katarn is in like
The second movie
Or if
Or if my favorite
Expanded Universe
Character
Dash Rendar
And IG88
Man
Yeah that's the problem
When they did that
It's like I appreciate them
Clean slating it
To be like
Okay come on
We want to make the movies
But this fucking
Holy fucking shit
We don't want to put fucking
Throne in the movie
I don't care
He's a cool blue admiral
I don't give a shit
Right but at the same time
It's like
Those four characters
That we just mentioned
Were worth it
They were actually
Interesting characters
But when
Think about all the baggage
That comes with them
They're like
Kyle Katarn to Jedi
But they hate Jedi
When
Fuck
I'm one of these now
When this new trilogy is over
There's just going to be
An EU2
Yeah
Yeah
They just have to
Sell more shit
I'm sure the manager
Is a lot cleaner this time
For these next three
Disney
You know what?
Disney maybe
For these next three movies
Or in those spin off movies
That they're also making
Don't forget those
Yeah
MTV show
I want a sniff
I want a peak
I want a nibble
Of that fucking
Red Sith
Twilight girl
Oh god
I don't know what her name is
All I know is that
I want that
Juhani
Is that her name?
There's a character
That is that
In the Kotor one
She looks like
A Darth Maul twilight
No way
No way
She doesn't have the head thing
That was
That was
She's from
Way, way
Way in the past
That's
You know what that is
She's super gone
That's asking for
Darth Maul
With the propo legs
Yeah
For his
For his yellow brother
But it's the one statue
I've ever seen
Of Star Wars character
I'm like
I don't know who this is
But I need this on my desk
Yesterday
Yeah
She's from the fucking
Old, old Republic
Yeah, yeah, yeah
You can't happen
But still
But yeah
Cautiously excited
Sure, sure
And we can
That movie's wrapped
Oh by the way
If you
If anyone's listening
It's like
I want to look up stuff
About the new Star Wars movie
Don't
There are so many fucking
Production details
That have leaked out
Like half the plot
Is out there
Oh I haven't seen that stuff
Good
Like
Dude fucking
But like
It's Star Wars
So it'll be impossible
Like
Okay this franchise
Is always going to have that
With every one of their movies
Because
It's too big
It's too huge
People live their lives
People who work on the thing
Have these contracts
To say if you
Leak details
There was that guy
That was funny
Okay
Let's
Leak the details
There was a guy
That was like a ballet dancer
Or a dancer
Who they were getting to do some
Practical shit
And he was like tweeting
Yeah
I was like
What the fuck
Get out
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Get out of here
Get the fuck out
It's the most secret thing ever
What are you doing?
Why are we selling Hudson?
I don't know
And we've got finally
What you put her in charge?
I thought we were going for more
Of a Jerry Seinfeld thing
But like
Oh man I've been watching
A bunch of comedians
And cars getting caught
Oh it's so good
It's such a great one
It's the best
It's such a great one
There's not enough of it
It's rare
It's like cause
They're like 11 minutes long
Because it's 20
Well because Jerry
Just basically does it
At his own fucking pace
And they're like
Yeah we'll fuck you
To go do this forever
Yeah
That guy likes cars
Yeah he does
Like Picard
Not quite
ATV and off-roading
God damn it
Fucking motherfucker
And then finally
We've got all the juicy
Gossipy details
From the massive
Two hour interview
With CM Punk
Oh yeah
The insides of the
The dramas
And the deep
Spoilers
Vince is an asshole
Like
Like we didn't know
Like everything he said
You just used your nod
Your head like
New depths
Like guess what
The doctors won't
Diagnose my staff infection
Cause it'll put me off
Of the schedule
That's bad
That's real fucking bad
Yeah put me off of the schedule
Of the shitty storyline
That I hate too
Also don't pay me my royalties
And when I leave
Because you don't pay me my royalties
Fire me on my wedding day
Fire you on your wedding day
Wow
Wow Vince
That being said
What an asshole
That man knows
How to play a hardball
Yeah
That's how you run a business
You know
He's a stickler
That's some hardball
You gotta respect the drive
I was talking to Takahata
About this
Cause he's
Wait like
If we think we're
Or like
We're intonuously
Like that guy is really in there
We're super servers
I was talking to him
And I just get this message
On Facebook all in caps
Like dude
They fired him
On his wedding day
Like like
Yeah yeah yeah
He was listening to it
At the time
I'm like yo do you hear about
This crazy fucking
Like see the fucking
I hope this is just a continuation
Of the storyline though
That
Oh my god
The greatest thing ever
Cause who else
Would be dead
For that story
If that happened
I would pay for the network for life
Just to support them
For being so fucking
Like see him
Punk goes and gets an office job
For like three years
Like the moment
The moment that he did
The tell all
The live
The live shoot
Right
Like they planned this thing
Where they're like
Everyone pays attention
When I go off the rails
And tell the truth
So they planned this entire work
That
From fucking years ago
That is fucking amazing
That is the greatest literary work
Of the 20th century
Yeah it would be
21st too as well
Who cares
I don't care what comes after it
All three of them
All three centuries
Yeah
But yeah no
Like just lots of
Lots of shit coming out from that
And
I heard that Jericho
Did another podcast
To refute some of the things he was saying
Because Jericho is one to do that
Jericho is like
No I have to be the biggest asshole
But he has
Jericho has nothing with the company anymore
Like
No no you still
Like
He's still on the payroll
Yeah
I think he's still on the payroll
But he comes back like once a year
And he's like
No I need to tour
With Fawzi
His band
Whatever
Whatever
I'm a rock star
So many
Like Jericho has his own podcast
And Jericho just has
Like actual musicians
Like he had Slipknot on
Yeah you know he's connected
With all those people
Why can't we get Slipknot on
Like please tell me
About yourself the Slipknot
Slipknot
Fuck that
Get Warren here
Oh yeah
No actually no
Let's not get Warren here
Let's get them in the best place
Warren is dead by the way
Well Oderis Orungus is dead
Yeah
But like
Warren is alive
Just get his corpse in here
Our plans are ruined
And the new lead singer is like
This girl
Like a girl
Warren
Really I need to see that
I forgot her name but
It's just like
These Russell's
Let's get the
Let's go get Gigi Allen's skeleton
Oh fuck
He'd be down
He wouldn't care
Just piss in the eye sockets
Just roll it around and shit for a while
Hey Lawrence
Can you send us Cliff's body
Yeah
Like
We're getting too inside
If you had to
Perform necromancy
I bet you
Gigi Allen's skeleton
Would be one of the most
Powerful
Plans
You could get a hold of
He'd be a fucking general
Like oh
Oderis
There's too much crap
Oh jeez
This is really gross skeleton
Stap him right next to Kenji
I'm just picturing like
The lich from Adventure Time
Just being like
There's too much
Just fucking too much
Put it back
Close the crypt
It's like if we're
Fitting musical like
I'm gonna bring back
Like Lisa
Left Eye Lopez
And Aliyah
And make a zillion million
Dollars on their new
Skeleton duo
Like
If you want
To write in a letter
And tell us about
What six skeleton duos
You'd fight
How much money could you make
If you just took a musician
Like a band skeleton
And set them up like
Marionettes on stage
And played their music
You got a hologram now
Why not
How much money would you make
How much do you want to see
For the reunion track
I can't answer that
But I can't tell you
How much I'd pay for it
Like if they had a
Beatles post-death reunion tour
No, no, it's
No, one of them is still alive
Everyone is everyone
And then everyone's skeletons
With the strings
And then Ringo's just
They got you
Yeah, Paul too
Paul's still alive
Paul's still alive
Not for long
Okay, it'll be
It'll be Ringo
It'll be fresh
It'll be Ringo back there
It'll be fresh
It'll be fresh
She says
How much money
I pay a thousand dollars
To go see that show
I would do it
How much
How much would you pay
To see you two's skeleton on stage
I don't
In what
I've somehow dodged you two
My entire life
Oh wait, because you two
Like are they dead
Yeah, Bono is alive
Edge
Halfway there
So if you want to talk to us
About this dumb shit
Send it to superbestfriendcast.com
What was that, Pat?
That's superbestfriendcast.com
Sorry, Patrick
That's shut up, Liam
I don't know
I'm not going to do it third time
You do it third time
You tell me where it is
Superbestfriendcast at gmail.com
There you go
CallownsBooBerry.com
No, not to there
We get complaints from General Mills
Bring back the Russell mother fucker
I knew it
I was like, as soon as he says that
Someone else is going to say the dumb Russell thing
We don't talk about that on party
Shut up, letters are delayed
I don't think we did that
So, apparently, is it like an actual story or not?
No, it just made it up
It's a theory
It's a theory
It's just when they changed the
Gorilla Munch box art from the happy
The Russell guy to the shitty new one
I was talking to Matt
And somehow he internalized this as a real thing
But what I see this all I can think of
Is like a 90-year-old man
Like answering letters in the General Mills thing
And just getting letter after letter
That's just all caps
Just bring back the Russell mother fucker
And this old man just going
Two
One
It's the same thing as giving up
Why do I keep getting these letters?
It's the same thing as giving up going
What's this fucking water world shit?
Alright, what about that?
Okay, well, we've got one
We've got one coming in from
And it's actually an analysis of Waluigi
Okay, alright
Tear this persona down for me
Waluigi is the ultimate example of an individual
Shaped by the signifier
Waluigi is a man seen only in mirror images
Lost in a hall of mirrors
He's a reflection of a reflection of a reflection
You start with Mario, the wholesome
All-Italian plumbing Superman
You reflect him to create Luigi
The same but slightly less
You invert Mario to create Wario
Mario becomes his own character
Mario turns septic and libertarian
Then you reflect the inversion in the reflection
You create a being who can only exist
In reference to others
Waluigi is the true nowhere man
Without the other characters
He reflects, inverts and parodies
He has no reason to exist
You're completely right
Waluigi's identity only comes from what and who he isn't
Without a wider frame of reference
He is nothing, he is not his own man
In a world where our identities are shaped
By our warped relationships and brands and commerce
We are all Waluigi
Okay, that's a bit much
You can make a Luigi game
You can make a Wario game
If you made a Waluigi game
You are stupid because he's not a character
He's the other Luigi Wario
No, but here's the thing
It's how you do this
Mario is super generous
And we'll put his life on the line to save people
Whereas Wario's the whole thing
Is I gotta get paid, get treasure
And he's a coward
Luigi is a coward
So therefore shouldn't
He's a selfish Waluigi
Be this really competent guy?
No, because it's not the full twist
Because Luigi is heroic but scared
He wants to be the main spotlight
But Wario is not a coward
Wario is not a coward
He's tough
He hurts people
So in this case, Waluigi would be the coward villain?
Yeah, that's my contradiction
But he's not
But he's nothing
Yeah, he's nothing
I gotta say, that's a really good write-up
And if you wrote that, like Kudos to you
You're a smart person
It's really, I'm way on board with that
It's a lot of words to describe that
Yeah, Waluigi sucks
I disagree, I love Waluigi
Yeah, no, I remember he said this
I don't know why
I really like Waluigi
Really loving the shit characters
Of the Mario universe
He's an outstanding thing
We got another little info drop
Coming in from Jeremy
Who points out
I don't know if you guys are aware of this
But since you've been talking about Gaim
Did you know that
Zawame City is literally Gotham City
When you look at the map
The map is identical
It's a picture of Gotham City
No kidding
Wow, straight up
They just, they didn't even protect
That's awesome
That's true
That makes sense
No, it doesn't
But, okay
I thought it made sense for a second
Then I was wrong
Al-Sakir wants to know
What's your favorite screen clearing super move?
Oh, that's real good
I know it
It's very, very rare
But there's one in No More Heroes
Anarchy in the Galaxy
Anarchy in the Galaxy
That is so rare that when we were testing it
We were not told the move is in the game
And never encountered it once
That's a great name for a move too
My all-time favorite is Giga Crush
From
Mega Man X
The full charge up
Float into the air
Explode energy build up
Well, it's very
Dragon Ball, man
I don't think it counts
This is a screen clear
But the, yeah, the item crush for the holy water
We were just talking about
That's pretty slick
That's it
I also, I'm really fond of the specials
In the First Streets of Rage
Where you call in the cop car
Yeah, the cop car
Your police buddy
And he just blows up the street for you
But, yeah, the item crush for the holy water
I love it
I don't have anything that comes to mind
I don't
Okay
Cut to 10 minutes later
I remembered it
I just didn't have as much time with Brawlers
As apparently all you guys did
Well, there's other games that have that
The first thing that I thought of was Knights of the Round
That was literally the first thing
I thought that's not a screen clear
Not a screen clear
So it doesn't really count
But Knights of the Round is a pretty good one for that one
I prefer character enhancements over screen clearers
I prefer Devil Trigger over any screen clearer
Yeah
I want both
Why not both
Yeah, why not both
There we go
We live in a world where we can do many things
We got one coming in from Mark
And he says
I've been watching my way through Ippo lately
And I can't help but notice how much more awesome things get
When the jet engine kicks in
Yeah
Have you ever had a time where you feel like
A sound effect really makes something awesome
Or amplifies a moment
Yeah
Well, we're talking about that Japanese
Let's keep it clean, guys
Well, we're talking about that Japanese sound effect
Of like a homerun swing
You know, the one we're talking about
Smash Bros?
Yeah
Okay, okay
I wish you wanted something like that
The scream
Good job
When you get a homerun hit with a homerun bad
Yeah the crack sound
The crack sound
Okay, okay
There's that
There's also when you take out your dick and the airship
Yeah
Being from Mario Bros. Three plays
It has some sound effect
Sound effect
My go to
Is laughing landing Max Act in DMC Four
It's just so satisfied
Like as the whole bar regs
I'm gonna cheat
I'm gonna cheat really bad and use a sequence of sound effects
But each particular one is fantastic in its own right
No, I'll use a really really specific one
It is the high pitched wine
Of the priming iron's locking on the vector cannon
Oh my god
Oh my god
Okay, yeah, no you nailed it
That specific
And then priming iron's locked
Oh my god
Oh that's the fucking best
I don't care how many times, as many questions as we can answer
With the zone of the unders to vector cannon
We will
Fuck it
Guess what my wifi password is
Vector cannon
There you go
You come to my house
That's my password
Everybody has
I don't care
One of the ones I always liked was the
The running sound effect from Super Mario Bros. Three
When your power meter is full
Ah yeah
Yeah that's a good one
Yeah
Cause then you know you can fly like all your powers
That's a good one
I can do them
Oh
One that I really like recently is
One two three combo breaker
Yeah yeah
One two three
For the shadows
Yeah yeah
That one's super good
Shadow counter
Yeah exactly
That's your shadow counter
I think a lot of people like it when Mario cries in Yoshi's Island
It's one of those great sound effects
That it just brings the hype every time you hear it
Everyone always goes to that cry
But the cry in Majora's Mask is way worse
When you have to solve the wrong baby
If you're good at Yoshi's Island
You'll never hear the Mario cry
And another one I really like
And I think this applies to pretty much all Zelda games
But my favorite one is the Game Boy ones
It's the sound when you hit a boss
That's a very particular
It's a very particular noise that plays
That I'm not even going to try to mimic
But like
This is not a human noise
It's not a human noise
But go look up like a Link's Awakening boss battle
The sound when you hit a boss
Conversely, the sound that you take
That you make when you get hit
Really bothers me
Oh yeah?
Wow
Don't fucking get me
I know
Also in general
Just the original Legend of Zelda
When you shoot a piece of energy out of the Master
That's probably the Master
It never sounded any better than that
Every other game it would change or whatever
And I think like one of my main beasts
With a link between worlds
Was like
Fuck this sound effect
When you shoot energy out of your sword
The sound effect is fucking garbage
It should have been
It should have been taken out
This game should have been released
Or turned into the sound effect from the old cartoon
No, it's the same one
It's exactly the same
And when it hits
No, but there's a different one
When it hits and something blows up with it
But the slide low
That's the same sound bite
Yeah
God, I just had another fucking good one
Oh my god, yeah
When you fucking level up the X Buster
After you get zeros
And it goes to the purple charge
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
And then you fire it
And you get the little after
I was just gonna say
Metroid has some amazing ones
With like the screw attack
And when you have the shotgun
You're in shine
Like Metroid
And like the door opening
And the original Metroid
Yeah, like Metroid
And this isn't a specific sound effect
But more like the sound design on a specific thing
I wanna give a shout out to
The first two Resident Evil games
For having like 80
80 different footstep noises
Oh, they're gonna say the crank noise
No, no, it's just like
Are you on grass?
Are you on wet grass?
Are you on metal?
Are you on glass?
Are you on carpet?
Are you on...
Like you will be able to tell
As you're listening
But that's like half the content of the game
Yeah
That reminds me a lot
I remember Tommy Tellerico
When he used to do reviews on the run
You're gonna go advent riser
You know, he would give games bad reviews
If they had one
Footstep sound effect
Cause he goes
That's just lazy
Six out of ten
The rest of the game was fine
Cause he did that a lot professionally
Yeah, it's like
Wow, what a ridiculously biased review
I don't think you're in a good position
To review these accurately
Yeah
He would also like
Say man, these game of fighters
Games have such shit music
I'm tired of this bullshit
He said that
He said that
The advent rising review
Where he was like
The sound design's really good
And he did the sound fragment
The strike is garbage
We don't need to continue this conversation
I never decided when to
Really?
He said
He said this 2D graphics are over
And need to go
That used to exist
That was a brand new attitude
I forgot that
Symphony of the Night
Is one of the other ones
Where people were like
This is dated
And this is
The day came out
Yeah
No, sorry, not 3rd strike
It was CVS2
He trashed CVS2
Because it was 2D
I don't think it was 3rd
And that game has amazing music
Like you just don't even fucking
Congratulations with your baseball mint face
Big ups
It's true
We got one coming in
Write your way out of that
Yeah, we're running out of time
Okay, let's take one from Charles
As the last one
Hey, Charlie
What is your favorite cast
Of supporting characters in an RPG?
Dex!
That's pretty big
Broad!
Like, what RPG buddies?
It's Mass Effect 2
I really like the supporting cast in Near
Because they all have a significant side story to them
For one where the characters are less important
And it's more just fun
I like the guys in Breath of Fire
It's Mass Effect 2
But only because of Morton and Rex
No, Rex isn't in it, sorry
Only because of Morton
Morton's awesome
But no, really, it's FF6
That was a big cast
And everybody was different
And they were all douchebags
Lovable douchebags
I'm probably going to take some flak
But fucking Lost Odyssey
Seth
Yeah, no
You're some flak for you
You're full of shit
Seth is such a good character
Some flak coming your way
You know who's great too?
The fucking grandchildren
Well, you have to include the whole cast
Well, you just pointed out
You just said like
And then I changed to FF6
Okay, well then fuck
You know, because if one stands out
No, one of my stupidity
You know, Gears, come on
Get out of here
Well, come on
Bart's got an eye patch
They're not particularly
They're kind of all like, you know, fit in the molds
But I actually really like the cast of characters
In the last story
Mostly because they're all British
If they're all like North American English
It would have been even more like
Yeah, that's that character
That's that character
But I really got used to them
And I wanted to talk to them all the time
The worst party I've ever seen in any RPG
Is fucking Tales of Legendia
Which is the one that's like
After became 3D
They made one that was kind of 2D
And this party hates
All each other
For the entire game
None of them like any of the
Like each other
Up until the end
I'm like, yeah, you're all still shits
And it was the worst
I hated that party
I hate that game
Yeah, Tales games don't really have the strongest cast
I feel like there's one more up there
Or so, you know, that I could fill in
There's a couple that are hitting my brain right now
So we go into
Jumps to mind
Because that's a big fucking cast
I really like the massive supporting cast
In Skies of Arcadia
Oh my God, yes
I love that cast
Can we include Valkyria Chronicles
In that entry?
Might as well
Valkyria Chronicles?
Yeah, since there are a few characters in it
Zeno Blade has a really good expanded cast
I hate that magic feather girl
Or whatever the fucking name is
But Ricky
And Dunban
Dunban
And Ryan
Ryan
Oh, what time is it guys?
It's Rhyme Time!
I don't even play Xenoblade
That's monodote to you
If you want to put, like, you cut your teeth
On the pittance that you spent playing Persona
But Xenoblade is where you'll actually spend some time
Oh, go to P3!
We did P3!
P4, but it's like, that's not fair
Because those are such character focused games
No, but like, all of the side content in those games
Are get to know the character
Yeah, but like, going into fucking battle with Akihiko, Mitsuru
With your bros
And fucking Kor- and-
Magic dog!
That is the best supporting cast ever
Yeah, no, yeah, yeah, no
But that's, I don't feel that's fair
Because like, all the side content in those games
Are meet your characters
They are character focused games
The game is called Persona
Yeah, the cast in P4 are pretty good
Pretty good
Yeah, you're like-
They're not my favorites, like, I'm not gonna lie
Like, I'm not that interested in Persona Q
And like, Dancing All Night and Ultimax
I just want the Dancing All Night soundtrack
Because I saw that the Persona Q game
Is called, like, Awesome Teller Review
Yeah, and then I read those reviews
And they're like, it's Etrian Odyssey
I'm like, nah, I don't know
Yeah, because, well, me and Pat are in the same position
Where Etrian Odyssey every year gets 85 plus
And I try it, and I'm like, I hate this game
We both just don't like it every time
SMT4 as well, like, no
Really? No
Okay
Because SMT4 is the same thing that all the SMT cast has
They're not characters, they're their alignments
They're alignments, sure
I like-
Sorry, I got it
Walter kicks ass, everyone else sucks
Well, that's kind of-
I'm revolving the world around Walter
All right, right now
Well, Etrian-
It's the Lost Odyssey film
Isabo sucks
Jonathan super sucks
Jonathan super sucks
Isabo's not that bad
She's pretty-
I like Devil Survivor
Because it revolves around their ideals
Rather than, like, their good or badness
You know what I mean?
That's an SMT thing that I love
It's like, it's not about good or evil
It's about order and chaos
Yeah, all right
I think Final Fantasy VIII has one of the worst
Ask me this question once I've gone through Torment
No, no one would ever say that, actually
Because Torment has a fucking weird cast
Final Fantasy VIII has one of the worst
I haven't played much of Torment, but the very first
None of us have played much of Torment or Vampire
Yeah, so we're already down to the-
The first character you get in Torment is
His name's Mortay
He's a talking skull
Perfect
He's just a skull
That's it
He's a magic talking skull
He floats around and sounds like Chandler
Like Murray, the talking skull
And fucking Monkey Island
Yeah, I don't know if that-
Does nobody know?
More or less, yeah
Okay, because that's a thing
No, but Mortay-
And he's the greatest
Mortay's just like flying around
Being a skull and kind of a dick about it
And I'm like, I'm a skull
And you have the chance to make a bunch of skull jokes at him
Yeah, that sounds exactly like Murray
Yeah, okay
But anyway, you see him in the first five minutes of Torment
I'll load it up after this if you want to see him
Um, what are we watching?
Uh, we are watching-
Secret Bonchos
Secret Bonchos
Yeah
Also, Game of Thrones comes out today
That's true
If you're Tuesday
I'm going to be playing Warblower's Gate
That's what I'm going to do
Yeah, I heard from Ice
After one
Since William and I are a love-love Game of Thrones
Wait, what? The game comes out today?
Iron from Ice comes out today
Tuesday
Congrats
I can't wait for you to not play it
Because it has tons of spoilers for stuff
Oh, it's spoilery
Well, it's up to where the show is
I was waiting for them to say where
I thought it was going to be a prequel
But I guarantee you it is not season one
I thought it was going to be a prequel
Dammit
Well, I'm not playing that then
No, you're not
So, yeah, I'm looking forward to that
I'm looking forward to watching Book of Mormon
Today
Tuesday
I'm going to be seeing it on the fourth
On the fourth
And Captain Toad, Treasure Chacker
Yeah, I'm excited
Well, we're going to be playing that this week
It comes out on Friday, right?
Yeah
I was at breakfast with my girlfriend and her parents
And they were like, don't forget
We're going to go see the Book of Mormon
And I was like, I bought these as a surprise
And he bought them for him and her
The same thing that happened with you
With her girls
Right, in reverse
Exactly
That sucks
That sucks
Because basically, to explain, Liam came in
And went, yo, Book of Mormon tickets are on sale
I'm like, yeah, that thing is here?
They left Broadway? What?
And we were supposed to record
And then it's like, that was all delayed
For 30 minutes
So I bought them immediately
And then I found out that like
After texting my girlfriend and saying like
Hey, I got tickets, I had to
We had to just buy it or never
We're going
And she was like, I got those for your birthday
On the 4th
We were going to go
And I was like
I said that this is like when Marge needs to distract Homer
From knowing that the chili cook-off is going on
So I had to do it
What's that smell?
No, it's nothing
It smells like chili
No, it's not
She should have just like
Put you in a bubble
So you couldn't know
Oh, yeah, we're really looking forward to that
I've already seen it
And I fucking can't wait to see it
It's like 10 minutes, so
Okay, okay, sure
Yeah, now someone, someone camped it
And shove it online
Yeah, I figured that was the case
And it was like, I've never been to New York City
I'm never going to make it to this thing
I still haven't seen Avenue Q
And I'm really bummed by that
And I never will
Because it's gone forever
Yeah, well, sometimes they come back
Yeah
Sometimes
Shame on you, Woolly
Yeah
Shame on you
Would you pick a book of Mormon, Pat?
I don't know
All right
Thanks for sending me the link, by the way
Like five years ago
What?
I would never condone
Illegitimate uses of media, Woolly
Yeah, no, never
Get out of here
Get out of here, Woolly
What's happening?
You're never going to catch me
With that shit on camera
No, it's not a camera
What's happening on the channel?
Yeah
I, uh, we will probably
Play in the Game of Thrones game
Because I think that's a thing
I wonder who will play
I wonder who will play
Can't wait for those giant sequences
Uh-huh
Maybe we don't know
There's that, of course
I think the falls will be wrapping up this week
The fall episodes five and six
The ones we recorded on a yak back
Will be wrapping up this week
Oh, my God
Yeah
Hey, it's Paul
We're home early
But once again
The mic is gone now
Yes
You have, you have physically destroyed
That whole problem
Yeah, no, but like just as anyone is watching is aware
The last two episodes are going to sound rough
Um
Really rough
So not this week, but in the near future
Dark Souls will be wrapping up
Yep
We're on the home stretch now
Yep
And there'll be a new crime time
So everyone that's recommending
Different builds and armors and
Ways to wait now
Continue to send them in
And let us know what changes I should be
Yeah
Yeah
No, yeah, yeah, no
It's not too late
Nope, nope
You think I should have a cool different armor layout?
Let me know
Let me know what kind of weapon I should be using
Yeah
Paul, we have a new thing
But I don't know if that's going to start this week
Our schedule's pretty packed
Yeah, I don't think it'll be starting next week
It'll be starting next week probably
Yeah, exactly
Yeah, that's it
That's it
That's everything
So let's get out of here
Get out of my house
Hey, sounds good
Get out