Castle Super Beast - SBFC 074: A Lifetime of Close Calls
Episode Date: January 6, 2015We're talking about our New Years Eves, and how little we care. Also, tons of FGC announcements!...
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It's 2015 y'all, we got a brand new year, we got Senpai back with us, and we got gorillas
eating ass in front of school children, which y'all make us still think it's a fucking game!
A lot of the kids are looking at the camera that's taking the picture going,
I said, what? Is this magic? You think this is a game?
Oh god, what's going on guys? How is the new year treating you so far?
I think it's all treated as pretty poorly considering there's a class 7 killstorm outside all day.
That killstorm already knocked me down on my tokus in her shank, I did not shit myself.
That's a story for a different day, but the important thing about this story, like I said when I walked into this building,
I'm a big enough man to admit when I almost shit myself, but the important thing is that there is no confusion
as to whether or not shitting yourself took place, it was definitely not.
Here's the problem, once shitting yourself becomes a story in your context, it means that you almost did,
and if you actually do, we'll never hear him ever.
That's something, if that just came out of a lifetime of close calls, we just have to assume it never actually happened.
If that came in and said I shit myself, I'll never believe him because if he's actually saying it,
he would have cast himself in more of a hero role. I saved someone from shitting their pants.
I saved someone from shitting their pants and let them shit into my pants and that's why my pants are COVID and shit.
Someone put shit in my pants.
It wasn't me though.
How'd this get here?
I don't know.
25 years going really well.
Seriously though, this Polar Vortex is a bunch of bullshit.
I'm the way over.
I'm sick as fuck too. I'm the way over.
When I was leaving my house, I saw a car that was abandoned left to the fucking cross giants.
There's a wolf inside.
You could see the cross section of the snow layered on top of it.
It was an SUV.
You could see the soft snow underneath.
The grayish dirty layer.
Then the fucking sheen.
The thick ass sheen.
That's the death layer.
We had the worst combination.
It came down like bone.
It came down in one paper like sheet.
That's the thing.
We had the worst combination of weather possible.
We had rain yesterday and warm enough weather
that everything melted just a little.
Covered and coated with minus 20 overnight.
Everything is smooth glass everywhere.
Montreal has god-like snow clearing technology.
Unbelievable.
We are world pioneers proven in snow clearing.
Montreal has also 90% hills.
But the problem is that we're 90% hills.
Also, a lot of that snow clearing tech revolves around moving it off the roads
dumping it on the sidewalk.
Where we are.
So what happens is that fucking, that dump then has the melt thing happen to it.
Those become hard ice mountains.
And they're skidding downhill.
And we're in fucking slip and slide town now.
So when I had to leave your house yesterday, Matt,
and I got to the corner over there.
You're just sitting down to the subway.
I almost died.
At that point, just lay on your back and just let it take you home.
See where it brings you.
Today I was walking over to Matt's.
And on this big long street, there was a biker.
I don't know why he was on his bike.
Because he ate shit and he kept getting up.
And I saw him fall four times.
Because he wouldn't give up on biking up the ice.
Bikes don't have snow tires, dipshit.
I like the way you initially said that.
Because you saw a biker and he ate shit four times.
Because he kept getting back on his bike.
He was the Rocky Balboa of bikes.
I guess.
The other thing is that when you look up that gigantic hill
and you look around nervously and you see Blade just staring at you
and he's ready to say it.
Oh, fuck, yeah, you're like,
I know you want to do it, motherfucker.
You're not going to be able to.
Oh, god.
There was another thing that I had with the ice shit,
but I forgot it, whatever.
There's benefits, though.
The other day I was walking behind the university
and I just fucking snowboarded down the hill with feet.
There you go.
When you got a good nice piece of ice with no cars,
I just remembered.
I read a webcomic that was teaching you
how to deal with ridiculous death-level ice.
And the advice it gave was,
water like a penguin.
And it fucking works.
I've been doing that all day.
You cut your speed in half.
You cut your speed in half,
but your safety shoots through the roof.
Because you want to have more up and down movement
on your feet than side to side.
Well, no, no, no.
Not like that. You mean forward, back.
Because the problem is everyone leaning forward
to step each shit on their,
when their foot slides.
But if you want to like a penguin,
your weight stays balanced underneath you.
You're staying as upright as possible without leaning
in any direction.
And your feet are kind of staying on the ground
the entire time rather than when your foot hits
and like your heels.
So occasionally when your foot does slide
when you're in penguin stance,
you'll recover immediately.
It's a weight going stance.
Recenters itself.
Exactly.
Short people know.
I really want to be safe.
Just crawl.
Just crawl.
Four fucking spots.
Level two penguin is the fucking stomach slide, man.
That's true. That's true.
Hands off the ground.
That tech is, that's advanced shit.
I have personal reasons to try to be as careful walking
as because I think I told you at least one of you once.
In 2003, after going to see Lord of the Rings,
the last one,
Return of the King,
we're running to catch a bus.
I fucking run, slide, fall down,
twist my knee, like stretch the ligaments.
I had to wear a Stone Cold Steve Austin leg brace
for three months.
And you got off lucky.
I got off lucky.
You could stretch, not broken, not flat or anything.
You could just die.
You could just hit your head back.
But now that knee is always going to be weak
and I fell down one other time like two winters after
and again, had to do it.
I had lost weight so that knee brace was useless.
So I had to get another one.
You got to get your fucking knee.
I should have kept the weight on.
I should have kept the weight.
I would have been so beneficial.
Every time I hear the,
I was running for the bus.
I just fucking,
I cringe up because back in the day,
my friend was running for the bus
trying to get to the library to show off his new jeans.
What?
That's a hot place to show up in six files.
He had new jeans
and he wanted to show everybody down at the library
and he was running for the bus and he fucking slid
and he ate shit and his hip ate shit
and he was bedridden for years.
He could not come back to school.
Wow.
And like,
Did he ever get to show off the jeans?
No, because they had to cut them off of him.
Oh, no.
And so this was our friend that we had to visit outside of school
for the rest of our high school life
because he was fucking, he was locked in.
Remember kids fashion kills.
And he eventually could,
eventually when he could walk again
after we were done college,
he had a cane, you know.
So it became kind of stylish,
but that's a long way to go
for a fucking cane.
Yeah, exactly.
You know.
And the other thing is it's not just running.
Running is the most obvious danger.
Because speed.
But for me,
the worst one I ever had,
and I think back to it,
I'm lucky I didn't die or go blind,
is stepping off of things that have good grip
onto things that don't.
Yeah.
Because you expect them to have good grip.
You're overconfident.
I was back in my hometown of the Boonies
and I take one foot off the bus
onto the curb, completely fine.
Then I go to take the other foot.
At this exact moment,
I just, I do the full like pivot in the midair.
And the back of my head,
right above where my spine meets my head,
hit the step of the fucking butt
all the way down.
That was the first thing that hit ground.
And I got up and went out of that hurt
and walk home.
And only years later, upon thinking of it,
I'm really lucky I didn't go blind.
That was good, man.
Lose control of parts of my body.
Dropping your technology on its corner.
That's the fucking shatterer, man.
Consider a Montreal bus driver.
And you're also lucky the bus driver
just didn't close the door in your head
and just keep going.
Yeah, that's right.
Because some of them do that.
I tell you, that time I got in the Metro
and a baby got caught in the door.
No.
It was like three, four years ago.
That happened too.
Was this a Chinese guy walking through
and he clearly didn't speak any English or French
because this affected the situation.
Yeah.
Right?
And he's got the baby on the backpack.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Yes.
Maybe on the backpack.
His backpacks get caught in the backpack.
That happened to me that time.
Baby, no.
Because he walks in and it closes right on the straps
and it's enough that it kind of comes loose
and there's the possibility that it may
just come off his back.
And me and three other guys see it
and then we look again and like,
uh-oh, nothing's changing and we're not moving.
So we all jump up and the guy can't talk to us.
He's just freaking out.
And some guy pulls the lever.
And then eventually a guy comes out and goes,
Oh!
What are you fucking...
Oh my God, a baby!
Just give me a second.
Oh my God.
Because that way less dramatic for me,
but what it was for me, I told this on one of the
LPs before my bag got caught in the door.
Yeah, that's not a baby.
Yeah.
And it got locked in.
And then this older, wise dread man
that had the gray dreads in the metro,
he saw me and he was like,
Hold on, child, hold on.
Hold on, child.
You go save your child.
Hold on, hold on.
And he was opening the door and he was like,
They tried to get you, son.
They tried to get you.
You know?
And I was like, who's trying to get who?
What?
It's the door.
Thank you, though.
You know?
Like, we go save your child.
They tried to get you.
Is this when you sent yourself forward in time
because you end up breaking limbs?
And I found out that they did try to get me
so that what I have to say to myself is...
So you sent yourself back in time
to save yourself.
Everyone knows that looper is loosely based on
Wooly's life.
Those goddamn STM Metro guys.
They're in a meet, waiting to time the door shut.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's moments like days that make you realize
that you just died any moment.
Any moment.
Any moment.
Just like that.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Why you might wake up dead tomorrow.
Well, good night.
That's why last week I ordered my materials
and my shit for my go bag.
Your go bag?
Go bag.
You know what a go bag is?
Is that similar to a bug out bag?
It's like a bug out bag.
So Wooly can grab his shit and run really fast
and slip and crack his head on the ice.
And then someone can take my go bag and survive.
I hope you got a helmet, too, with that.
Yeah.
What?
Joe Joe in here.
Yeah, there's the...
I want you to call it.
She a wig.
What?
The inch bag.
Yeah, the inch bag.
I'm never coming home bag.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I was just like, well, maybe, man.
Why not?
Why not?
You should learn how to operate a ham radio
if you're getting really sick.
Oh, yeah.
No, I found a really sick one that's solar powered
and hand operated and battery operated.
Well, see, you need the hand crank in case the sun goes away.
Of course, yeah.
And it's also a radio and a flashlight
and a thing, a peripheral charger for your other tab.
It's a super amazing device.
And people will murder me for it
like a zombie apocalypse.
So that's the problem.
Cause, like, say, I don't need to have any of that stuff.
I just need to realize that the danger is happening fast enough
that I can get to your house and stab you.
Yes.
And take your stuff.
That's it.
That knowledge is enough.
You wait for the kite to make the really cool invention.
Yeah.
And then you just take that invention.
Yeah.
This is what Dead Rising is talking about.
You should get one of these instead
because I'd rather stab you for survival than wooly.
Yeah.
I don't want what's in my bag.
Oh, OK.
It's all cat toys.
I was going to say, it's just lube, camel boxer shorts,
and a predator on TV.
Couldn't really help you that much.
Classic.
Still waiting to win the layaway game, man.
Still waiting.
Oh, God.
So, yeah, man.
New year, new fucking craziness.
New year feels a lot like the old year.
Yeah.
I guess we might as well start off with Senpai
and how he spent his time away from the compound.
I went to the old country.
Yes.
And I saw my family for the first time in a year.
Really?
I want to thank some of them.
Some of them, yeah.
I want to thank Mrs. Senpai for the homemade Baileys.
Homemade Baileys.
She made a bunch of alcohol for everyone.
And it's milkshake consistency Baileys.
And it's not going to explode, right?
So I know if you make booze in your bathtub,
it's going to explode.
And it can explode.
Which I really appreciate.
Yeah, mason jars.
You know.
I took one sip and I said,
this tastes like alcohol.
It's probably good.
Back on the table.
Is everyone else...
Are you the only not drinker amongst them?
Yeah, oh boy.
Just saying.
Just saying.
Like really light, fruity stuff.
It's cool.
It tastes like alcohol.
What else did I do this holiday?
I saw my family.
That was nice.
Lots of Christmas going on.
How many deers did you see?
How many cakes did you take to slay the moose?
None.
There was no hunting.
I was just a lazy after.
Survival shadow.
I was busy beating Suikoden.
Yo!
What a good game.
Beat Suikoden 1?
I beat the first one.
Wow.
What a good game.
Now fuck that game.
That game sucks.
Okay?
Naturally.
Good though.
Play the good game.
I'm playing Suikoden 2 now.
No, it's really good.
How far are you in Suikoden 2?
I have to ask.
Lucas only burned two villages.
Okay, you have to.
I'm just about to get my strongholds.
Yeah, okay.
Because Lucas has the greatest intro of any villain.
Time to beat the nice one.
He's already a bad guy.
Oh, really?
Die, pigs!
Hey, pigs!
How's it going?
What's going on over here?
Oh, it's the best.
Like Luca leans his head through the door.
Hey, pigs!
What's going on in this place?
His sitting in grin is the worst.
It goes across his face.
Honestly, it's sprites.
It's traumatizing.
Yeah, almost.
It's sprites.
That shit when you're fucking young.
It's on another level.
Oh my god.
Lucas is really cool.
All the characters in that game are really cool.
Suikoden 2 isn't like a quantum leap over Suikoden 1.
Except for the villains.
Every mechanic is hugely improved.
Yeah, I'd say it's a really good improvement.
You can dash in Suikoden 2 by default.
Yeah, you don't have that fucking holy rune or whatever.
Do you even remember that about Suikoden 1?
In the first Suikoden, you can't run unless a party member has the holy rune on them.
It sucks.
In 2, they just give you a run button.
Instead of making that run button locked.
It makes me miss JRPGs that are good.
Cause it's like, I know all these JRPGs nowadays are not as good.
I know that.
All of them?
Like just the vast majority.
Okay, the vast majority.
I know that.
And way, way less of them get made too.
Yeah, but then when I actually go back and play one of the older ones, it's like, man,
these games are way better.
Or they end up just coming out only in Japan and never getting released over here.
Like that shit you showed me that time.
Yeah, Soul Trigger.
That game was pretty cool.
What the fuck, man?
That game's awesome.
That looks really cool.
Yeah.
No market.
Exactly.
Please enjoy Eternal Sonata.
What are you gonna do?
At least we're getting type zero.
Four years late.
Any day now.
Any day now.
Exactly.
Yeah, at least it'll be shinier.
Other than that, I finished Monument Valley.
What an overrated game.
I kept hearing that it was awesome.
And then one breath later that it was overrated.
I think the right word to use is pretty.
It's really cool to look at.
And you're looking at the like Escher stuff.
Yeah.
In the same way you looked at, what's that fucking Sonata game?
Echo Chrome.
But it's a bit cooler than that even.
Yeah.
And then you realize, oh, but there was no difficulty.
It's just tap here.
Go there.
You wait and then you wait for your guy to get there.
And they hit a switch and then something moves.
Let's go there.
You wait for the guy to get there.
And you just tap and wait, tap and wait, tap and wait.
There's no difficulty.
Wasn't Echo Chrome like that for you, Willie?
Where you were really, really hyped for it?
Echo Chrome was...
You stopped talking about it.
Well, no.
Echo Chrome was one third of the reasons why I bought a PSP.
Yeah.
I bought my PSP for Echo Chrome, Roco Loco.
Loco Roco.
And Pat-a-pat-a-pawn, of course.
Yeah.
Literally those three games.
Those games are great.
Yeah.
And Echo Chrome was amazing.
I enjoyed the shit out of it.
But I just, I had no one to talk to about it.
Damn.
It's just one of those things where it's like...
Would you have wanted to talk about it?
Yeah.
There's, you know...
What were you basically playing the last game?
And to be fair, all three of those games are the same.
It's like, I have no one to really go, oh my God.
It's Loco Roco, man.
No.
I just remember leading up to you.
You're like, I can't wait to play that.
I can't wait to play that.
It's just like, I never heard you talk about it again.
I loved it, but there was nothing to say.
You know?
What am I going to sing the song?
You know, ba-ba.
Yeah, exactly.
Pat-a-pat-a-pawn.
Pat-a-pat-a-pawn.
Like, that's it.
No, exactly.
It's great, and then it was done.
Otherwise, I saw, what's that fucking movie?
The interview.
Yeah, you watched it.
Okay.
That's just like, hey, it's a Seth Brogan comedy.
It's a fucking Stoner comedy, right?
No, exactly.
Like, I don't know what anyone was expecting.
Nothing big going on there.
But it was cool.
You weren't here last week.
You weren't here last week, but we were talking about how I like the idea of that, the whole
controversy around the movie was a work orchestrated by Sony.
Yeah.
Because if there was no controversy, that movie would have come in, come out and been nothing.
Yeah.
No, I would agree with you, but there's so much proof.
Like, otherwise.
I know.
I would agree with you otherwise.
I gave my little, like, review last week on it, and just really dumb Stoner comedy.
Okay.
Good money shot.
Yeah.
A nice money shot.
Absolutely.
I'll give them credit for that.
It was fun.
It was just as fun as any of those other movies.
What are you going to do?
Fucking love the credits, though.
Yeah, the credits were awesome.
Super-styles.
And it's one company.
It's one company that fucking does all those super-stylish credits.
Oh, yeah?
For all the movies you've loved, including the opening credits, credits for Metal Gear Solid
Online.
They're the mondo of credits?
Yes.
Yeah, okay.
I wanted to work with it for them back when I was in, like, college and shit.
Like, oh, my God.
I'll kill your dreams.
That's where you're here now.
Yeah.
Now look at me.
Yeah.
Oh, I wish we could just translate the look on your face in the audio floor.
Yeah, you did it well.
How was the countdown?
The countdown?
Two?
New Year's?
New Year's?
It was fucking no fun.
Yeah, awesome.
I was sitting there playing sweet coding, too.
There you go.
That was it.
And then I was like, oh, it's the next year, and I still feel the same.
Yeah.
Otherwise, I bought an NVIDIA shield.
What?
You know what I bought?
I bought an NVIDIA shield.
You want to clear your throat?
All right, let's try that again.
I tripped and my wallet fell into an EV games and paid for an NVIDIA shield.
I didn't even know you could buy those retailed.
Wow.
You can't anymore.
Wow.
Because they've got the last place with the tablets.
So I said, I want to get one while I can still even get one.
Liam, I assumed you would have to buy that online with all the money.
But you have to buy it online with one of those secret discretionary services where they
don't tell you what it is on your credit card bill, less than anyone finds it.
And it goes up in an unlabeled box.
Exactly.
Or you have to sign up for the NVIDIA newsletter and Konami ID equivalent to even get it.
Okay, so I know you like handhelds and remote play a whole lot, but didn't buy it for remote
play.
You bought it for the conduit.
HD is strong.
Okay.
Hi-res English PSP games that weren't previously localized.
Okay.
They work.
Okay.
Now I was going to spend like a good 10 minutes mocking this and now I have nothing to stand
on.
Because that's why I bought a PSP Go back in the day.
Sure.
Or the GP2X.
Yeah.
Whichever.
That said, there are some games like Portal where it's like, I'll play this again on
handheld.
Sure.
I did not buy it for the two of them.
Yeah.
I'm going to grab conduit and HD.
In its legitimate state, that seems to be one of the most pointless pieces of hardware
ever.
Yes.
Like I've poured over the library.
You're totally correct.
There's no-
That's a good handheld emulator.
Every time.
It's like once you unlock the fucking gates.
That's it.
PSP rocked fucking shit.
Exactly.
Once you unlocked its potential.
And how the PSP actually had games too.
Yeah.
Like with the shield and the ouya, et cetera.
There's no fucking first party.
The sign of domination that wasn't even necessary but like cemented at home was replacing the
PSP guitar strum with your own custom like game startup thing.
Oh yeah.
That would be a no.
And I got one.
It was a cloud and stuff where I'm going.
Yeah.
I had that one for a little while.
The one I had for most of my time with my less than legitimate PSP was a spike going
bang.
Okay.
That's the good one.
I tried to make my own custom one.
I spent a lot of time.
You would expect.
Yeah.
I got Roro Fight the Power.
Yeah.
And I was trying to get that going.
But it was really tough.
Yeah.
So I gave up.
It seemed like it should have been simple.
And then you spent like 10 hours on it and you're like it still doesn't work right.
Weird.
I kind of assume that the shield would remain as the one biggest accomplishment.
I'm sure Will you would agree.
If you go back to the MAGFest video.
Oh yeah.
That counter breaker counter breaker fucking gag with the shield is so strong.
Yeah.
It's an aged wine.
Yeah.
When I look back on it I was like this video is fine.
We did an okay job.
No way.
When you get to that part I lost my shit again.
Ahead of its time.
Let's go again.
We were walking around filming everyone playing their 3DS and 3DS, 3DS, 3DS the entire content.
Yeah.
And it sprinkled throughout the entire video.
And then right at the end you just get.
You find someone on a Vita and then we go combo breaker.
The combo breaker.
Before that's finished.
It cuts to a shield and it counter breaker.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
So strong.
Was it someone's shield?
No.
It was the.
It was the only one in the entire building.
I've seen one person with a shield ever.
It was you in your bathroom.
In the future.
In the future.
It was future Liam.
While I was saving myself with the backpack it was you coming back.
It was someone who looked to have gotten it from his rich father.
Oh.
No words for it.
Yeah.
Exactly.
It's like at least.
You're thinking about the Jokey guy.
At least this weird terrible handheld isn't actually secretly a plot by the Swedish mafia.
Yeah.
That would have been nasty.
You guys remember that?
The gizmodo?
Yeah.
That whole thing was a tax scam by the fucking mob?
Wow.
Now that name just means a website.
I like the idea that certain machines have lore.
I like it.
Like the specter.
The end gauge makes me think of eating a taco.
The phantom.
The phantom.
Yeah.
That makes me think of some dude's mom's basement and an abandoned building next to a barbershop.
The phantom's so weird because they put out that lap board and by all accounts that lap
board was awesome.
Like it was a really high quality lap board.
Yeah.
And that made people think that okay wait wait they actually put out a product.
Maybe the phantom is a thing.
And then I forget what website it was but they just started calling up the contact information.
It was Panerakage?
Panerakage.
Calling up the contact information on the business cards and finding out that these locations
didn't exist.
Yeah.
They were the driving force behind that utter fucking destruction.
Oh man.
The fact that like they came out going we have over 30 major developers on board to produce
games for us.
Yeah.
It's like.
You better be able to back that up.
Oh my god.
Name one.
Yeah.
Name one right now.
Cause they can't name themselves.
Then we're going to go to them and ask them if they know what the fuck you're talking about.
Every forgettable console, every forgettable handheld console needs a legacy like that.
Every second one.
The Engage side talking is one of the greatest classic bits.
Awesome.
You have all time.
I think that's like the most visible but I'll never get over like you have to remove the
device's battery to insert a game.
Yeah.
Like that's pretty good.
That's the worst.
I had this time in terribleness.
But just back at like the back in the day, you just had a blog of people grabbing their
friend and phone inside the console, stitch them together and put it next to your head
and go, I'm talking on the phone.
Oh yeah.
All right.
You got your you got your shield.
Man, the Engage sucks.
Well, I had a friend who had one of those poor guy.
But the PSP is great, right?
PSP is great.
Now you have the new Engage.
Now I have the new Engage.
How can you can you jailbreak your PSP emulated like emulation to make it free?
That's too crazy.
That's too crazy.
That's too crazy to get in there.
All right.
Pat, how was your New Year's, man?
It was really nice staying with the Misses and just had a nice quiet evening and then
at midnight the fucking guys, I don't know who did this, but all of a sudden I look out
my window and the there are fireworks going off that are originating in the parking lot
of my local Arabic restaurant.
Oh yeah.
Like just down the block.
Oh yeah.
At the Amir.
Like someone.
They don't know the rules yet.
Is shooting off fireworks.
Yes.
Nobody explained to them how it works.
Exactly.
I don't think anyone gave a shit, but like in the middle of the street fireworks and
it was awesome.
It was really nice.
We went out to the local, back when I was a kid, we went out to the park in the middle
of that shit.
By the time the park ranger dude comes to get you, you're gone.
Somebody's doing illegal fireworks.
I better get over there.
Uh-oh.
You were a mile away.
That's true.
I did that.
What did I play?
I played more Baldur's Gate.
That's all I'm playing, man.
I'm playing Baldur's Gate.
You almost done?
No.
Well no.
I beat Baldur's Gate 1, right?
Yeah.
I talked about that last week, but now I'm doing.
Well shit.
I missed that.
Now I'm doing 2.
Congrats.
Now I'm doing 2 and like that game's like, you can't go back to the first one.
It's one of those.
Like Persona 3 and 4.
You mentioned.
You can't go back.
Yeah.
And it does something that I really like, structure-wise, that sequels almost never do, where in the
first game you had a very specific formula.
You start in your tutorial, then you go into the big open area, and then at the very end
of the first game you go to the city, and the city's super gigantic, and has like 30%
of the game's stuff in there.
And the second game you start in the city, and do huge, huge, huge shit, and then eventually
believe, and then you go exploring.
It's for games.
That's it.
I got Kindle, almost died getting it, because of the aforementioned ice fucking shit.
Fucking UPS!
Are such bastards.
Oh yeah.
You told me about that.
Okay.
I missed the fucking delivery on the 23rd or something on the 23rd, and I missed it
by like 10 minutes, and I call them up, and I have the paper that says, hey, you come
down to the UPS depot that's near your place, and we'll give it to you, and you go, okay,
hey, is it there now?
No.
Okay, when does it usually come in?
Around four.
Okay.
But we close today at 2.30.
Okay.
And we're closed for the next six days until Monday.
Did he give you a fucking taking style?
Good luck.
And I say, and I look at the paper, and it says we're only going to hold it for seven
days.
Seven days.
And I, does that count like, no, no, you'll have plenty of time, like, fuck off, man.
What a shitty situation.
So you suited up.
Yeah, and I almost died.
But I got the Kindle.
Man, the Kindles are nice.
Yeah.
Everything that you said was right about that.
It's shiny.
It's nice.
Did you get it?
You got the non-backlit one.
I got the backlit one.
No.
I'm not going to knock at a knock backlit anything.
Yeah.
Okay.
I'm not insane.
I need backlights.
I need them.
I think it's a front light.
I think it's a front light.
It's a front light.
I don't know what the fuck it is.
Look at the light on my shit.
I was playing my Gameboy in the bath the other day, and I needed to grab my worm light.
Yeah.
Because I couldn't find the way.
Now, Liam, is that a real thing that happened just now?
The worm light that you're rocking, it's a Myco worm light, I'm assuming.
Yeah, I believe it's been a while since I had the worm light.
It's a pass-through worm light.
It's atomic purple.
So it's not the pass-through one.
It's the one with the twisty.
Yeah, it's the one with the twisty.
No, no, that's low-tier worm light, man.
I like that one.
That one, it was all right, but then they came out with the white pass-through one, where
you could still get the port for multiplayer.
Oh, you mean the one that goes on the...
It locks it, and it's a white one, and it's a better worm light, and again, you can still
play multiplayer, and you can still trade Pokemon.
I believe it.
It's better.
I'm good.
Sure.
I will say.
The only other thing I did...
I just want to tell you about worm light.
I know you just want to talk about worm light.
They should make a worm light for the three of us.
You don't need it.
You don't need the fucking thing as a backlight.
No, they should have made a worm light for the original three of us, because that thing
didn't have a fucking worm light.
I miss the days of the big-ass handheld with the fucking flip-out magnifier, the boom-bush,
the worm light, and the little plastic stick on the D-Fast.
You just want every handheld to be the Homer.
Oh, god.
It has a little fringe.
If that's a future we can make happen, I don't want to be a Homer.
You can just start bolting things to your shield.
I don't want to.
I don't want to.
That sounds good.
Just bolt it.
That's the idea.
I did...
There's two more things on my...
So, Matt, due to your recommendation, the Mrs. made me watch Babadook.
The Babadook.
The horror.
Because I don't like to watch horror movies, and she was like, quit being a baby.
Watch it.
Mm.
That's a damn good movie.
It's good.
It's scary.
Mm.
I don't know.
I don't know if it's scary or not.
It's really threatening and dire.
It's dreaded.
There's one jump scare in the entire movie, and it has nothing to do with any threat.
Yeah.
But it's really freaky.
Okay.
Well, is it horror or thriller?
It's...
It's...
I wouldn't say it's a thriller, because when I think of thriller, I think of Liam Neeson
running.
Yeah.
And I got...
Ashley Judd looking at that.
And it's not necessarily scary, but it's like, it's engaging.
Yeah.
And you get to the end, and I don't know if anything in that movie happened.
Yeah.
It's somewhat unclear as to whether or not a single event in the movie takes place.
Was it all a dream?
Maybe.
Okay.
The basic deal is the lady, the main character, she has a special needs kid who's really
giving her the fucking business at school and with other kids.
From every fashion.
He fucks up his cousin, and he's shooting crossbows and shit, and she's coming apart.
And it's like, are you being possessed?
Are you going crazy?
Are you just stressed?
Are you just stressed out and fantasizing about killing your kid?
Yeah, it gets that dark.
And it gets that dark.
And it's really, really good.
Okay.
And I was saying to Pat that that kid runs the game.
Oh, that kid's awesome.
From being the most annoying kid ever.
The most annoying horrible child ever.
But then he gets his face turned.
To becoming the coolest kid in the world.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And like, I'm really, really critical of child actors because a good child actor can like,
like make your movie great.
Yeah.
A bad child actor can instantly destroy it.
Yeah.
This is pod racing.
Yeah, that's right.
I don't think that's the straw that broke the metachlorian's back.
But that kid was actually really, really awesome in that movie.
Yeah.
I highly recommend it to anybody.
Even babies like me.
It's like, it's...
It's a weird ass name.
Yeah, well, it's a weird ass guy.
Yeah.
And the other thing that happened is, I don't know if you guys remember, but a couple weeks
ago, I sent in my PlayStation 4 for repair.
So Matt and I were recording a video and we came back out to the dashboard and lo and
behold, those blue dots are back like two weeks later.
Nice.
At which point, I screamed fuck and scared the shit out of everyone in the room.
Yeah, you did.
Because they didn't know what I was talking about or referring to.
You just felt agressed at the time.
And this wasn't in the middle of the holiday.
So it's like, I call Sony up and it's like, where are your offices?
They're not... fuckers.
So I'm like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna troubleshoot...
You call them fuckers for taking a holiday?
No, I'm calling them fuckers for taking my money and then not repairing my shit.
So I decide, okay, before I call them up and have this day, I'm gonna troubleshoot the fucking
shit out of this.
Yeah, this is where I last heard.
I'm gonna just, I'm gonna use every cable in every slot, in every permutation of events.
And what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna have a friend of mine come over to my house with
his PS4 and test it on my stuff and see if I can reproduce it.
Guess what?
I can reproduce it on his.
Oh.
Identically.
So you broke his PS4 too.
If I go into ResoGun with a light colored theme or the sailing ships theme and then
back out without quitting the game, that those dots appear in the upper right, upper left
and sometimes upper mid portion of the screen.
Then he started to freak out because he figured, Pat, did you break my fucking console?
I said, no, it must be my gear then.
So then he goes home and now he's able to reproduce it.
So I think that Sony actually charged me $171 to repair a software bug with themes.
And as soon as this fucking podcast is over, I'm gonna use Matt's PS4 and see if I can
reproduce it here because I had a guy send shit to me on Twitter saying, oh yeah, Pat,
I had that happen to me too.
Just switch back to the default theme.
You just did.
You just did the undoable in QA.
You did an extensive coverage matrix and you actually got a bug out of it.
You know what I mean?
Every permutation of everything with every other thing on a grid, you never get any results.
Wow, really?
So now my phone call is going to be different because now I have to convince some schmuck
that it's a software bug and that despite the fact that they completely replaced the
entirety of the inside of my PS4 that they owe me my money.
Yeah, of course.
And I'm debating whether or not to even make the call because am I just saving myself two
hours of frustration because I have a strong belief that there's nothing I can do to convince
someone.
I don't know.
Two hours is worth $170.
Yes, but that's not what I expect to happen later.
I have to be that we put the new things in the thing so the money was spent.
Services were rendered.
They didn't need to be.
This is like the ultimate bad news, good news, bad news.
Wait, it's not actually broken.
Which means I wasted my money.
Geez, man.
It's like, what do I do, send it to them again?
Since you mentioned my PS4, I showed Woolly and Liam this.
My PS4 is also exhibiting a very different issue.
Oh, really?
But I installed Transistor and Velocity 2X.
Oh, man, this is a dumb issue.
For whatever reason on the dash, they both share the Transistor art when you select the
game.
That's really weird.
So when you go over to Velocity 2X, you've got to wait for a second.
Then the other, like some menus of the game pop up, like visit our Twitter and that's
correct.
That's Velocity 2X.
And even when you start Velocity 2X, it says super giant games because that's connected
to the dashboard imagery.
But then the games load up fine.
Yeah, I've tried deleting them, and then I saw them.
That's probably cool.
That'll probably fix it.
But at the same time, look, I have this exotic bug.
Yeah, yeah.
It's Diddy Kong without a job.
I am.
Yeah, very good.
I'm so frustrated.
And I know exactly why I haven't seen it often, this bug.
And I know exactly why nobody else is reporting it.
Because when you go into a game, what do you usually do when you're finished playing that
game?
The home button and go back to the dash, or you just go straight into rest mode?
No, I hit the home button and quit.
Yeah, you go straight into rest mode.
So you'd never see it.
No, no, I hit the home button and quit the game.
And then?
Yeah, and then go into rest mode.
Oh, really?
Really?
I was the title first.
I go home.
Yeah.
Maybe?
That's interesting.
Sorry.
Having a game open.
Any game.
Open.
And going to the custom theme and the dash.
Like going into Exard and then once Exard has started hitting the home button and then
just sitting at the dashboard.
While you already have a custom theme.
While it's running.
And it's noticeable on the pop-up book one with the ship and the rectangle one and the
20th anniversary one.
Yeah, okay.
But it does not happen on the default theme or the red one.
For whatever reason.
Probably because it moves?
I don't know.
So the contrast is like I've never sent anything to Sony hardware wise, but I've sent shit
to Nintendo and Microsoft hardware wise.
And in both of those cases, it took for fucking ever to get back to me.
My green Game Boy color that some assholes spilt Pepsi on, right?
And my red-ringed 360.
You had bad luck with colored Game Boy.
Yeah, that was my replacement.
Atomic purple.
You just fucking dredged Pepsi on with it.
So it took so long to get back to me, but it got back perfect.
Yeah, see, and that's the thing.
It's like the Sony thing, the turnaround was a week, it was super, super fast.
And they did, I got a work order and it says we replaced the fucking motherboard.
So clearly they did the work and they did it fast, but the problem is that there was
no actual test part of this.
Right.
They must have repaired it and then turned it on and saw that it turned on and then sent
it out.
But like when I sent in the error, they then said, okay, this is the problem.
This repair, do it, take their word for it, like, and then send it back out.
Like they shouldn't have taken my word for it.
Yeah.
They should.
Oh, what a fucking mess.
I would think it's pretty damn rare that it's an actual software.
It's the triangle of customer service.
High quality, fast and inexpensive.
You get two.
Yeah.
It's not never three.
So that's my week.
Okay.
Well, my new year is like, I think I told Willie, but my new year is basically me and
my fiance, her sister and their, her boyfriend, we're all wearing onesies.
We all watched movies because the girls gave the guys like all onesies.
We all have onesies.
It was fucking awesome.
We ate like a shitloads of Chinese food.
We watched the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic Twins.
Oh, wow.
We watched the Arnold Schwarzenegger classic The Wizard except he's not in it, but I still
felt that it was funny enough to say.
And then we watched Revenge of the Nerds, which I only have seen once when it was out
and I didn't understand it back then.
And I forgot that Goose from Maverick, Goose from Maverick, Top Gun.
Goose from Maverick.
I wish that's how it went.
I wish that Goose from Top Gun was the main nerd and I forgot that John Goodman was in
that movie and he looks like he's 19.
John Goodman does.
It was a fucking trip.
I was like, that's John Goodman.
I thought he was just that melting gorilla from Cohen's Brothers movies.
It's been a while.
Revenge of the Nerds is way before my time, man.
Was that a...
Who directed that?
Forget.
No idea.
Because I'm wondering if it was...
But Ogre.
Nerds!
I was about to say like the only thing I can remember about Revenge of the Nerds is that
Ogre's the shit.
Yeah, yeah.
He's the guy that goes, nerds!
It's so ridiculous that the jocks burn down their own house and then the school loves
the jocks so much they kick all the nerds out of their house and then the jocks just
move in.
Okay.
Like that's how...
What wonky that is.
It was pretty nuts.
So we did that.
I really didn't play that much.
You'd be interested, Willie, that I just started to go into the mod scene of No Mercy on PC.
Oh yes.
Jesus.
And get in there really deep.
What's in there?
Way too much.
Is it because you're going to wrestling games?
People have been modding that for years and I can't get some of them to work just because
it's so finicky and...
They have completed new wrestling games that you can...
Yeah.
Pretty much.
And the thing about that though is that it's hard to adjust to the speed increase of having
good hardware running the No Mercy engine and it feels kind of often weird but essentially
I fool around with the mods and I'm like, okay, let me just go back to regular No Mercy
just to go through it and get used to it and the storylines.
I forgot that in that game you lose, you keep going and the story branches.
Yeah.
I forgot about that completely.
That's good.
Because I always have a match situation saying if you lose this, guess what?
Game over screen.
Something hyper might happen.
Way cooler.
And I was like, oh, that's awesome.
I put a tweet out saying, hey, can anyone recommend me Japanese wrestling?
Anything hype?
And then people fucking delivered and Pat saw a little bit of it but I found this match
of a tag team and it was the Young Bucks is the name of this tag team, Matt and Mike Jackson
and they just had some of the coolest tag team moves I've ever seen where you know what
a gut buster is?
It's the reverse backbreaker.
Yeah.
Instead of breaking someone on your knee, you break his gut.
So the one dude does a gut buster and then the guy is laying on his knee and his partner
comes over here, grabs the guy's head off his knee, then does a neck breaker off that
really, really quickly.
And since we've been playing Def Jam, I started thinking about imagine like a tag team game
where you had like tons and tons of combination maneuvers and how would that actually work?
Would they be context sensitive?
Would they just be QTE?
I like the way, well we talked about it more in the Def Jam finale but it was like the
fucking, the fact that that engine, that ackee engine was evolving and then EA pressed B
and they fucking canceled that.
The ackee engine has evolved?
Oh, he stopped.
Here what happened?
I like my high level Pikachu thank you.
It could have fucking went places.
Yeah man.
Like remember when I sat you down and I showed you guys that really sick one on one?
That's what spurred me.
I was like, I remember Wooly showed me that sick one on one.
I remember the slap fight, the chest challenge, it was so good.
So remember what we're talking about in Def Jam, how you really like the spike pile driver
where the guy pushes down the feet, when the guy apologizes.
In that match, the guy has him in a pile driver and his partner jumps springboards off the
ropes, then goes up in the air and then slams his feet and then the pile driver gets an
extra spike for the extra non-existent momentum.
Now the reason why you didn't mention this match, because I only mentioned the one side
of the tag team, which is called the Young Bucks.
The other side is a group where it's a Caucasian guy and a Japanese guy and they're called
the Time Splitters.
Oh okay.
I remember this because they're walking out and they keep tapping their wrists and looking
at their wrists.
And all their jocks have like time stamps and countdowns and the Japanese guy comes out
with a Marty McFly red vest.
Oh.
Time Splitters is written like the Back to the Future font and that's it.
That's the gimmick.
They're just the Time Splitters and I'm like, oh my God, that's so good.
Tapping the watch.
And they're not wearing watches.
Yeah, I know.
Oh, it's the rotation.
And they're like, again, watch the match, you said you hadn't watched the epic, it's
really, really sick.
And that of course led me into watching the, or that Finn Balor, whatever.
That guy's entrance that's so fucking cool where he's just an Irish dude.
He's just got an athletic body and he goes, yeah, I need something.
The Darling People's Champ of NXT.
Yes, exactly.
So on this, on this pay-per-view called Revolution where they just like, this is our next big
pay-per-view and whatever.
And I'm watching it and there's three curiosities and the first one is this guy's entrance
because I'm not sure if you guys have seen it, but this guy just comes out with like
the entire arena's black and all the smoke and he's dressed up like Carnage.
You can't describe it.
I can't describe it.
It's a combination of the music and what he's doing.
He's not the one with the dinosaur and the sword, is he?
No, that's Rainmaker.
That's the Rainmaker and that is the hypestival time.
That's the best one.
No, no, I have a counterpoint to that.
But this is by far the best second.
Okay.
So he comes out and he just like, they know the camera angles where this looks going to
look good.
Oh, okay.
And he's just, he's got body paint and teeth.
Like this.
And down here.
So when he flexes his neck, it looks like it's a monster chomping, right?
Now the reason why I actually think this is better than Rainmaker, and maybe not better,
a bit different in a way, is this, this took creativity, whereas Rainmaker is just funny
and hilarious because it's Japanese nonsense, where anyone could have done this.
You could have had a bunch of pink flamingos in the front and had donuts falling.
But it's, it's, it's nonsense, but it's all with badass things.
It's not just, it wasn't flamingos, flamingos, it was a raptor.
I know.
You know?
But it makes no sense.
Candy.
It was a giant sword.
And it was money.
But the reason why is that, I think this guy looked at it and just goes, I need to think.
Whereas Rainmaker was like, people like dinosaurs.
It was, it's theatrical.
That's why it's really good.
And we can't just describe it.
You've got to see the way it plays out.
I still like Rainmaker's better, but Matt's right.
I agree.
Rainmaker's is just kind of like, and you can just get the, get the funny crazy good shit
in there.
I still love Rainmaker, but when I really like, look, look at the entrance and I got it to
see it in like a nice HD format.
I was getting really hyped.
The light, the lighting is the, the big, we'll, we'll watch it after the podcast.
We'll, we'll watch it after the podcast.
Yeah.
Speaking of lighting, we can turn some lights on.
Yeah.
I'll do that.
Yeah.
And I'm getting a, yeah.
There's a glare behind you, Matt.
It gets dark quickly now.
So I actually feel like you're going to interview me and tell me to dance for you.
Please dance.
Do some more.
The other thing about this, this pay-per-view is that this, a woman comes out for a woman's
match and she's like tall, she's built, not quite China level.
And she's blonde.
And I go, who is this?
And they call Charlotte.
Her name is Charlotte.
Charlotte, Charlotte Flair.
She's Flair's daughter.
What?
And she's awesome.
Whoa.
She did a really good job.
And I'm looking at her like I said, she's tall.
How old is she?
Like 60?
No, no, she's not.
She's flying forth from his head.
So Charlotte Flair comes out and she does a really good job.
And her body is built.
Is she wearing the armor of Nefertiti?
She is, no, she is a Valkyrie from ages long ago.
There you go.
She, her body is better for rustling than Flair's ever was.
Like she, like, the thing about women's matches is that when they, they just put women that
are pretty and they're, they don't have the mass, they don't have the, the sort of capability
to like put impactful moves, but this woman is like perfect for it.
What?
I have a question.
Sure.
What's your question?
Chest slaps.
Yes.
Okay.
Also, her stick is that I'm genetically superior to you.
That's pretty good.
And also, she's from a, she's from a dynasty.
That's why.
But Orton already did that.
It's true.
Orton's whole gimmick.
That's also Steiner's gimmick.
Her genetic freak?
Yeah.
No.
But Orton's like freak.
But he's a genetic freak.
Yeah.
But Orton was like, exactly, you go, you check my parents and they're freaking parents.
That's true.
And I am the greatest.
Yeah.
But to be fair, no woman's ever done this before that gimmick.
No.
Sure.
Also, her finishing move is called the natural selection.
That's awesome.
Which is also nature boy Rick Flair.
Yeah.
So I was really, really impressed with that.
And the last thing about this pay review is that we saw him at the house show, Sami Zayn.
Do you remember this guy?
Yeah, I remember Sami Zayn.
He had a really, really good match and we were just like, all right, but he's the NXT's
like big guy.
Yeah.
Now, Sami Zayn is from Montreal.
Which is why he blew the fuck up when he came to Montreal.
His shorts have the Montreal flower logo.
Yeah.
The 30 beats.
Yes, exactly.
And the other side of the shorts is Sami Zayn around the Metro Arrow.
Oh.
And I'm like, oh my God, that's so fucking much love.
That's good.
That's too much love.
And I'm watching this guy and I'm like, this is the third or second, the third or like
fourth time I've watched, I'm like, this guy's so good.
The problem is that I'm really afraid whenever he goes to WWE, guess what?
He looks like a slightly better built Seth Rogen.
His face.
Okay.
Okay.
Now, okay, now I remember this guy.
And you want to cheer him.
He's like an everyday man.
Therefore, WWE will surely bury him because he doesn't have a cool, wonder body.
Right.
Right.
What are you giggling about?
He's an everyday man.
His old ring name was El Generico.
Yeah, yeah.
El Generico.
Like other personaries.
Like fuck.
Yeah.
So I'm looking at this guy.
Everyone.
He's Daniel Bryan.
Mm-hmm.
Or he's just like a regular kind of dude.
Likeable guy.
Likeable guy.
I'm like, they're going to, but this is the best dude that they have.
Everyone is in, he has this one move where he's running down the aisle, like right outside
the ring and dives through between where the post is and through the ropes.
He just is able to slip through, dives through, then does a tornado DDT on the guy who's on
the other corner.
That's sick.
It is the sickest fucking thing.
That's for you, sickness.
And every time I've seen it, I just go, who, who would think of this?
And it's so fucking sick.
But when I actually think about like, oh, I hope he never goes to WWE, because again,
Montreal homegrown guys, oh, I want to go to WWE.
I hope he never has success.
I hope he never has success.
I hope he is not cursed with success.
That whole second and third generation wrestler thing.
It's like the, the Usos and Stardust and all that shit, all of that is part of the reason
why that's so cool is because it's the real life equivalent of like Avengers next, or
like the shit in comics where you get the, the spinoff second character, Batman beyond.
It's like that, but real people and it's actually the son of another, you know, like that's
kind of like, like actually, so the evolved gimmick that you're used to with a twist
on.
Yeah, exactly.
That's fun.
Yeah.
So overall, it was like, it was a pretty fun watch, watching that, uh, pay-per-view.
And it's weird because NXT is just like the storyline shit is so minimalized.
It's, I don't like you because you hit me that one time pay-per-view.
Let's go.
It's not like months and months buildup and it's just every match is the actual, like
it's, there's barely any gimmicks.
There's no ladder matches.
And that though, like I imagine is really good for like people that love wrestling and
are wrestling fans.
Exactly.
But like kids that are just into the storylines and stuff like that want that extended soap
offer.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But that Finn Balor guy, that fucking Avengers.
I need my stories.
I need my stories.
I need my stories.
Stories.
So yeah, how about sums it up?
Yeah.
Okay.
Uh, I had a big boy had a big week before we even get in your week.
Yeah.
Directly for you about your week.
Did you get eyes on time on the wire on the new wire?
HD.
I didn't.
Okay.
You have to.
I know.
It is astounding.
I know.
It is astounding.
He has a lot.
How improved it is.
Big boy had a big week.
He has a lot of EPO to go through.
There's that.
And thank you for all the messages.
I appreciate it.
But I'm doing it on girlfriend time.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's fine.
So I just, before we even get there, I have to say there's one thing about the wire in
HD that it doesn't bother me, but it's something that I can't unsee now.
And the conversion is amazing.
The framing is perfect.
There's only one tiny nagging issue.
It's because it was filmed in four by three, no matter what scene it is, no matter who's
in it, no matter what's happening, you're going to notice that everyone's standing directly
in the middle of the frame.
Of course.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's like Play Final Fantasy 10 HD.
So in the first episode, when Daniels and Freeman and McNulty are in the, and Presbo
are in the basement, and they're standing next to the fucking sandwich board, like you're
going to notice that they're all standing right in the middle next to the sandwich board.
And there's three feet on either side of them, that they're not at the same time.
And that's it.
That's the only downside.
But asymmetry is nice.
But yeah, but yeah, that's, but it's like you'll get over it by the end of the day.
Every now and then you'll be like, oh man, they're all just, why aren't they standing
even slightly further apart?
Yeah.
You should fix that.
But that's it.
That's all.
That's all.
I was just, in my head, I was like, I was just thinking like that shot with the fucking
rock and the cameras.
Like you can't even see that it's a recording anymore.
I don't know how they handle that, but anyway, okay, read that David Simon post about how
they fucking handle it.
Oh, well, if you're subscribed to them on Facebook, the wire, they've been putting up
tons of shit.
Yeah.
It's really good.
So big boy, how's the big week?
All right.
So I'll start with like New Year's Eve where I was like dressing up and getting ready
to go out to the big mansion party, you know, I was going to go do that and then I just
said, fuck it.
Yeah.
And I sat home and I played guilty here.
Yeah.
Finally.
And then I fucking, every year I make fun of you about that fucking mansion party.
And it was, well, I only went twice before.
I know, but it's still hilarious.
Every year for two years.
There it is.
Because you wanted to go because you didn't get to, anyway.
No, I don't want to go to that fucking shit.
We're not going to get into it.
You still didn't get invited.
I didn't get invited.
It gets really mad.
I'm glad.
But, you know, I just said, fucking, I want to play XR.
Yeah.
And I did.
And how was that?
Great.
I was in the middle of a match when the ball dropped.
And that was that.
How's that?
What are you going to do?
Big deal.
Thank you, XR.
You know, more to talk about that in a minute.
No.
That game.
Particularly.
It's a big game.
But yeah, man, I had a lot of time to just get shit done this week.
In a down week, because Lee was gone.
So we all just said, yeah, we could be working, but we have stuff built out.
We can take a couple days off.
A couple days.
Yeah.
And I definitely got around to finishing off things and then taking care of business
that I never really had the time for.
Yeah.
You know, setting up the computer, got me my Steam account all ready to go, got all
my games, and I fucking went through a bunch of shit.
Did you get the neutral path in SMT4?
No.
Okay.
Once you do, and then the good path, we need to do a spoiler cast.
Well, there's some shit to talk about.
I'm at the end of chaos with like a near maxed out party.
I'd have to run the whole entire game again to get neutral.
Okay.
Just read it on the internet.
Once you do.
No, you can't.
There's so much, and there's like, it's interesting to the nth degree.
I know.
And then the backstory that comes from like the DLC stuff is even more interesting.
That might be a year from now or something like that, because I always intended to go
back.
I want to give myself enough time.
I can't believe you missed so much story.
I know.
Okay.
So yeah.
Moving along then we'll skip that.
That being said, if you don't get that path, you still get a really solid beginning and
end bookie bookie.
It's weird.
The incomplete endings in games are terrible.
Are just terrible.
But here they're fine.
They're like a normal ending.
Just the neutral path gets you way more.
And that's odd.
And it's usually how it doesn't work.
Neutral path.
No, because it's because an SMT law and chaos are not good and evil because the extreme
of any of these ideologies is the most evil shit in the world.
So the only quote unquote good path is the synthesis of those ideologies.
The writing is really genius at certain points because it goes out of the way to show you
how bittersweet that can be in various ways.
Here's how bad law can get.
Here's how bad chaos can get.
It gets real, real, real fucking bad.
Also there's a manga where Walter is fucking Virgil.
Yes.
He DT's.
So yeah.
I always hate in JRPGs where you have to replay the whole game to get a second ending.
If you at least gave me save slots, you know.
Well, I like how Neer handled it where like halfway through the game, it's a checkpoint.
You beat the game.
You knew game plus you're at the 50% mark.
Right.
Contrary to that of course you have them, you know, stop where you want to get your special
ending thing or like P3 and P4.
Just make that save all the way at the bottom of your list of 20.
Even then I wish there was a way to expedite it because I hate the idea of like I finished
the game.
I don't want to sit down for 40 more hours to like kind of want to move on.
And for people who want to, that's great, but like how many people even beat it in
the first place?
You're cutting off.
Yeah.
The thing that's stopping me is I don't know if I want to go through it again legit or
if I want to go through with New Game Plus stuff.
Okay.
Just go with New Game Plus stuff.
Yeah, but that takes the fun out of it.
Yeah, but no, but then you'll quit halfway if you do it.
You've got a point.
Because you'll be like, oh, this is the same thing I did last time.
The change that I'm looking for comes way after this scene.
You know?
All right.
Well, there's that.
Fucking beat Captain Toad.
So wait, you beat SMC4 on fucking Neutral?
No, I did.
I did the endings I could get with my save and with the second slot and then for shit
like law and whatever.
I just fucking looked it up.
Okay.
You beat the game Neutral?
No.
I did the...
You did Chaos.
Yeah.
Okay.
I don't really want to talk about some stuff with that.
Yeah, I know.
Captain Toad.
Captain Toad is a fucking Toad, man.
Did you play all the stages together?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Did you just stay on the Neutral path for that?
Yeah.
You know what, though?
You know what, though?
Actually, the entire game is being Neutral.
There is a Neutral path where you don't get all the shit, the extras, and you can just
go with no bonuses and just kind of beat the stage and call it a day, but there's more
to it, you know?
Yeah.
And on the Chaos path, you take the backpack off and you jump.
Oh.
Yeah.
That bird sucks.
You want a fucking dick bird?
Kill it.
Yeah.
Murder the bird.
No.
Captain Toad is...
Nick, you go through all three of these adventures and it solidifies him as the greatest hero
of all.
Of the Mushroom Kingdom.
Oh, okay.
And, like, Toadette is pretty high up there, too.
Yeah.
And I like the fact that you get that little...
It's not really a spoiler, but it's just like you get to see part of his inclusion in the
Mario Bros. 3D World storyline.
Yeah.
You know, it's a little fun thing.
It's really good.
It's really good.
I enjoy that game.
It's, like, dirt easy, but it's really fun.
Yeah.
Well, you've got to go for the extras to really push yourself.
Basically.
But even then, like, all the check marks, they're all super easy.
And, like, I like the page menu system.
Yeah, the menus are nice.
Yeah.
You know?
There's lots of little, little fun things on there.
The only one that bugged me was the lack of a replay button, like a retry button.
Yes, you have to quit back to the menu.
Where it's, like, sneak by the shy guys.
I fucked up.
I fucked up.
I gotta die.
You're right.
You're super right.
That should have been a great game.
Yeah.
Did that.
I got a, like, I had a bunch of unclaimed humble bundle purchases I made.
Don't we all?
Yes.
Yes.
And I finally got around to them.
So I sat down and put a lot of time into Luftrausers.
That game hits X.
Oh, my God, man.
The music and the way the music works, depending on your loadout, is so fucking cool.
As far as I'm concerned, that game.
How fun did you get?
Did you beat a Zeppelin?
Or...
I destroyed a Zeppelin.
I'm on, I have SFM.
Yeah.
Whatever.
Mode.
Whatever.
I'm pretty sure it stands for Superfund Murder Time.
Deno.
Deno.
Yeah.
I got SFM mode.
And I only have one, the last final weapon to unlock on each one of the things, you know?
That game.
That's where most people stop.
Because it's like an old school, like dogfighting, you know, like game, arcade style.
But it's the fact that you stall your plane out to do crazy ass maneuvers that makes it
interesting.
Like who would ever do that in real life?
Yeah, it's not.
All of your cool pilots.
All the cool pilots.
All the ones that get all the ladies in.
Like if this would be, imagine, it's like, it's like, it would have been just another
Geometry Wars clone, you know, with a different style aesthetic.
Asteroids, but...
Well, it was a different aesthetic, right?
Yeah.
But you don't just shoot in whatever direction you shoot.
Exactly.
But they added...
Asteroids.
Yes, you're right.
Yeah, you're right.
Asteroids.
But the adding that fucking stall mechanic is just, it's so...
Completely changed it.
Everything about it, you know?
And then making it so that you have stuff where like your ship just floats indefinitely.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like the part switching...
Changing up your engine parts, exactly.
Like playing with the lasers, super fun and dynamic and stuff.
Right.
So you have, you have a gun to pick, you have a body, and then you have thrusters.
And like, there's different types that combinations and whatnot.
And then, and then you get far enough into the game, and you just pick the random...
Random parts.
Yeah.
But each...
What's really cool is each combination, each set has a specific name for it, you know?
And like, if you have the death laser, the floating engine, and like the super armored
body, you're like, like the invader, you know what I mean, or whatever.
And like, they all do different combinations.
And each part is a different instrument for the way the music plays.
Oh, God.
So...
Did you design this?
Right?
It sounds like you designed this.
You know, like you have, there's all these different song combinations that play depending
on your ship, but the refrain, the chorus that kicks in at the right point, one minute
and 30 seconds in of every match is always the same, and it's strong.
Yeah.
So this is a really good game.
Luftrausers.
I highly recommend it.
Definitely.
All versions of that game, to my knowledge, are pretty good too.
Yeah.
I was going to say, I think it's best on the Vita just because it's handheld, and like
that game really works for that format.
But it's great on all systems.
There's no issues anywhere.
Well, it's a very simple game.
It should be.
It should be.
Exactly.
Go play, fucking, ridiculous fishing now.
Vlambeer?
Yeah.
Yeah, go play ridiculous fishing.
Ridiculous fishing is probably the best mobile game.
Oh, yeah.
I was talking about that last week.
You were talking about it last week, yeah.
Oh, were you?
Yeah.
Okay, because I talked about it like it's a really emotional ending for some reason.
That game's awesome.
You throw your dad in the space or something.
And shoot him.
And then the hat falls.
Then his hat falls down and says, thank you, son.
Like, I got to the end of ridiculous fishing and had a moment.
It's like, is this going to turn into frog fractions too?
Yeah.
Right?
Yeah.
It's right there.
Game most likely to be frog fractions too.
Exactly.
That's the best.
Oh, that's a good one for next year.
Yeah.
So there's the Escapists, which was the Team 17 game that was prisoners trying to escape
from jail.
And that one's coming to Xbox One in the future, right?
Congratulations.
You made something that's not worms.
Not worms.
Awesome, actually.
Step forward.
But not really.
Oh, no.
Is it just worms or is it not good?
It's not worms and it's not good.
Okay, because I was hoping you booted it and it was just worms.
It's just worms, Armageddon.
I would have been pleased.
You'd be like, eh, I would have been pleased to just punch the worms.
These worms are going to have to shoot each other on random maps with goofy weapons.
Why?
Well, what's up with it?
I wasn't having fun with it.
Oh, that's the future, right?
I went through the tutorial and I got to understand the system.
And it's really early, admittedly.
It's not the final build yet.
It's not early access, but it's like...
Unfinished game.
Or whatever.
But it's just, yeah, it's...
It's not all there.
It's fast but slow in the sense that you have to wait really long.
What is it exactly?
Okay, so top view, think Luffy2Map, overworld style visuals.
At prison.
You're in a prison and you are trying to escape via various means.
And there's different levels of security prison that you can get sent to.
You can come up with different means to escape by wearing the guards uniform and trying that method.
Or buy something from somebody, go shank a guy, interact with prisoners, do missions, etc.
It's basically like day by day managing what your character does.
Crawl through the vents, you know, whatever.
And then as the prisoners get more and more high security, the challenges become much tougher.
But it's just like...
It's like the dialogue, everything that's happening with the way people are moving around the screen is happening too fast.
And your combat system is like press spacebar to switch to combat mode.
Click on the guy...
I already don't like that.
That you want to attack.
No, I don't like this.
And then approach him and wait for the combat to initiate.
Oh, no, I don't like this.
And there's just weird things that just don't feel good.
Or you walk up to a table or a bench or something.
And if you just accidentally graze it the wrong way, you're standing on top of it trying to get into a vent or whatever.
And guards are like, get the fuck down.
No, I was just walking.
My foot just went on the table.
This is a much simpler game.
And it might not gel quite with what you were looking for here, but you should try out Monaco.
What's yours is mine.
It's much simpler.
And it's about thieving shit.
But I think it might actually have kind of what you wanted from this.
I think you just got in a humble bundle, right?
Yeah.
And what I wanted was not thieving.
I wanted a prison Oz experience.
Well, there's a game called Prison Break.
Yeah, you should play it.
You're in it.
It's the black guy.
But all in all, I just kind of swapped away from it.
That's a shame, man, because I really have a lot of nostalgia for Team 17.
But what are you going to do?
There's a cool feature on Steam where you can right click a game and uninstall it.
There you go.
It's like it never happened.
Now you can play better games like Singoku Rance.
Or like Stanley Parable.
Yeah, that game's cool.
That was fun, man.
Do you play Stanley Parable, though, or does Stanley Parable play you?
It played me for a while.
And then eventually I played it, and I think I've completed it.
The only way to know if you've completed it is if you look up how many endings there are.
There's one ending that you'll never get.
Okay.
Because fuck actually getting that ending.
Well, I did.
Okay, I did all the visibly available branches that I could see.
Including some of the fucked up ones where you think you're in the same scenario but you're not.
And those ones are great.
I've done the ones that involve straight up not playing anymore.
Did you figure out the one in which you glitch out of the map?
No.
That's an ending.
Early on there's a window to your left in the second office where you figure out you can end up jumping up on top of the desks.
But you can't jump.
No, it's one of those little collision boxes that ramps up just slightly so you can end up on top of the desks.
Then you can use that to get over to an open window and glitch out of the map.
And you get an ending.
And there's an ending for that.
That's awesome.
And the achievements are all completely...
Yeah, there's one ending.
Did you get the focus test ending?
Uh, yes.
Okay, there's the focus test ending and then there's the true end to the focus test ending.
And no one gets that because you have to play...
How many are there?
Am I being ruined by hearing these four?
There's like 17.
Good.
And no!
Because in the words you're saying...
Getting to them doesn't...
But the deal with the focus test ending is that the task that it presents to you, if you actually do that task for four hours, you win.
Okay.
Wow, okay, yeah.
And two hours in it becomes twice as hard.
Oh, wow.
And at that point, you just look it up online.
And I just let it go.
And there's also an ending that you never get without looking it up because it requires you to activate the cheat command in the properties.
Nice.
And type in a cheat into the console.
Nice, nice.
Okay.
Yes.
There's an achievement that straight up is that this achievement is unachievable.
And the description is it is impossible to get this achievement.
Yeah.
Is that...
That's it?
That's it.
So compliance for Steam achievements.
No, you know my favorite...
Go to options and turn them off.
So Stanley Parable is an amazing game that everyone should play, especially if you like the idea of nonlinear narratives.
But the selling point on that game, the thing that really brought its tone of humor across to me, is that when you go into the options menu,
there's a toggle with a little box that you can put a check mark in that says achievements.
Exactly, that's what I'm talking about.
And when you click it, you enable achievements and you get a little pop-up that says achievement, achievement unlocked, you got an achievement.
And then that happens every time you click the box.
And the achievement can be gotten infinite number of times because it doesn't matter.
And furthermore, it starts as off.
Oh, good.
Exactly.
As do save games.
Saves are off to begin with.
Is that bad?
Is that a problem?
No, it's not a problem at all.
I didn't think it would be.
In fact, it makes it a lot better.
The points in that game in which you're like, you're starting to get a little tired.
But halfway through, you're like, I'm doing this over and over.
And then you're like, I don't know where the other paths are.
But then you find something.
Because there are like five or six that are really obscure.
And then you go into a room, you've been a hundred times, and you go, and then the narrator
starts talking to you and is like, yeah, I know you've been here a hundred times.
And you're like, whoa.
Hey, Stanley must be here.
Let's find out.
Hold on a minute.
Be right back.
Well, not official.
Ah, we're going to use that mailman break to take a word from our sponsors.
And then we'll be right back.
Guys.
What?
What's happening?
New year.
New loot crate.
Wow.
One second in, you almost dropped it.
I did not.
I pulled it up and I sent it on my lap.
Happy new broken loot crate.
Let's find out what's going on in here.
Oh, he didn't cut it open.
Some type of crate.
Oh, that looks, Willie's like trying to open a switch blade.
Oh, it's in his gut.
Oh, no.
Oh, Willie, I don't think that eye is going to grow back.
Well, too bad because there's probably some goodies in here.
Willie, are you just holding on to the crate?
I'm kind of caressing it.
It's been so long since you've had to open it.
I'm caressing it.
I'm appreciating what they've done here.
Yeah, there you go.
There you go.
All right.
So let's take a look right off the bat.
Just start whipping shit at our heads.
Yeah.
It's the delivery mechanism.
Okay.
We've got a pop hero's Joker Batman.
A Joker Batman.
That is creepy.
That's Joker.
The Joker Batman.
That is unsettling.
Is that supposed to be a thing or is that just made up for the toy?
I'm sure it's a fish.
It's a joking hazard.
Joking?
Wow.
What series was that one?
I don't know.
It's the 14 plus age.
That was the one where Batman's parents died, I guess.
Yeah, every time.
Joker wearing the cowl.
My parents can't stop me.
Oh, no way.
Shut up.
Look at this.
What?
It's the Groot socks.
Dude.
They say, I am Groot.
These are my feet.
We are Groot.
We're going to have to fight over those socks.
Oh, that's awesome.
You can have them.
Foot flight.
We've got a...
Oh, I know.
A Sim Sim's wallet.
Oh, get out.
And it's really just...
Wow.
They've got...
It's like a tiny baby wallet.
And it's not even like all the main known characters.
It's like obscure ones.
Yeah.
It's that big poster of all of them.
You can do it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Including...
Oh my god.
The elves and...
Just throw it at that.
Just throw it at that.
Just throw it at that.
Just throw it at that.
Just throw it at that.
You mean me ten years ago?
That's the one.
Yeah.
That's the one.
We've got also for Matt, a Captain America Avengers assemble, vanilla air freshener.
Oh, shit.
Give me that.
Oh, smells like freedom.
Smells like vanilla freedom.
We've got what apparently is the exact same thing my girlfriend got me.
The Tetris sticker set.
Let me see that.
Oh, so you can like put it on your fridge?
I got the fridge, Matt.
Extra Tetris stickers.
We have got 147 stickers.
That's 147 more Tetris stickers than I need.
Oh.
A door hanger.
A door...
A Ghostbusters door hanger that asks, are you the key master?
With the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
Okay.
I thought it was like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man saying, don't come in and have sex.
It's that thing you put on the door at the hotel.
Yeah, exactly.
Also, back off, man, I'm a scientist and they're using our font.
It's pretty good.
Oh, my God.
Oh, that's bangers.
Wow.
I got a pass for that, right?
Ghostbusters still in the font we made.
Wait, we have two fonts.
And we have bangers and joint.
Yeah, we haven't used joint in a while.
Special 30-day free trial for Crunchyroll.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
That's good.
That's pretty good.
Kegel Rat, Kegel Fried.
Free unlimited anime.
And we've got issue 36 of Batman Endgame with Batman getting knocked the fuck out.
Oh, my peacock.
Apparently.
Yeah, my peacock.
So, that's what's going on in...
Okay, I have to ask.
I'm really confused.
What the fuck is the theme of this box?
This box?
I'm having trouble figuring it out.
Heroes have been not even ruined.
These are all, like, things that have been around for a long time.
Classic things.
Like, Sue Classic.
Batman.
Okay, Tetris.
Tetris.
Old school.
Okay, Tetris is classic as shit.
Okay, that makes sense.
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Guardians of the Galaxy.
Classic.
Well, technically, that comic's like 80 years old.
It's been around for a long time.
And the Simpsons are ancient at this point.
Yeah.
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That's it.
So, once again, that's lootcrate.com slash friends, promo code friends.
Thanks, lootcrate.
Thanks, lootcrate.
That's on this wallet.
Gabbo!
Gabbo!
Gabbo!
Must be some guys named Gabbo.
And now we're back.
That was fast.
Yeah.
So, but to finish off, it was being said about Stanley Powerball there.
What a good game.
Yeah, great game.
And I remember going in thinking, like, because a lot of critical acclaim, a lot of people
talking, it's really cool.
And I went into it thinking, like, okay, so I see it's doing a cool thing, like, that's
kind of like Bastion.
I mean, the fine narrative thing.
And then you go, like, five minutes after that, and you're like, no, wait, hold on.
There's a lot more going on there.
It's the best of the walking simulators.
Yes.
Yes.
You know, it's the most interesting.
That's why I'm going to put that.
Because it constantly fogs with your expectations.
Yeah.
So, I did that.
And a lot of this stuff, too, was on Steam Sale for the Christmas thing.
So, dirt cheap for a lot of them.
I, what should I call it?
I benchmarked my sleeping dogs to get everything nice and hype.
And I wanted to see how it runs and everything.
And after I saw how smooth it was on extreme mode and everything, I booted up Lethal League.
I don't know why, but I was just like, oh, I didn't get the chance to let anyone know
that, like, I finally got to play Lethal League after going, wait, how did this fucking bypass me?
Yeah.
It didn't bypass me, but a lot of people were telling us we need to check it out.
And I'm like, I know about it.
We know about it.
We know about it.
And I did.
I spent some time.
Those guys really like Smash Brothers.
They really do.
They really, really like Smash Brothers.
They do.
And that being said, it's still really fun.
And it's great.
I think that...
Character designs are awesome.
They're great.
They're fantastic.
Yeah.
I think it would benefit strongly from a single player component.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But just getting the ins and outs of every character, getting used to it, and putting
it into, like, four player madness is really fun.
Turn the computer up to six in R7, and then just go in there and practice until you're
the last one standing.
Also, Lethal League, just amazing fucking name.
Yeah.
Like, I liken it to Base Wars.
It's just one of those names where it's like fucking video games.
Monday Night Combat.
Monday Night Combat, not a great one.
And Super Monday Night Combat.
Love that name, man.
Also, Lethal League is absolutely something that can and should be looked at in some capacity.
I see what you're saying.
I see what you're saying.
Maybe one day.
Maybe one day.
And that's all I'm going to say about that.
And then, I guess...
Oh yeah, well, before I get into it, we looked at Speak Easy.
Yeah, we looked at Speak Easy a little bit.
You went down to your local Speak Easy?
You went down to your local Speak Easy?
Yeah, exactly.
And like, I was like, hey, honey, where can I get you?
Get out of here, black man.
You're not like allowed in this time.
She adjusted the little feather in her hat and sent me packing.
Speak Easy is a...
I think it's on rock, PS4 right now.
Yeah, Rock, Paper, Scissors, Ask, PS4 game.
The style is of the 40s and, you know, that's the whole thing.
Prohibition era, I always think, yeah.
Exactly.
And it is a simplified fighter in the vein of senior footsies.
Oh, yeah.
I wouldn't say dive kick.
But not really.
Because dive kick has more going on with movement and stuff.
But I tried to get that same immediate sense of like, oh, shit.
Oh, like, it's a cross between...
Yeah, a little bit of samurai Kirby and I'd say senior footsies
because it presents you with three options
and you've got to correctly read...
Fake attack and block.
Are your three options?
And you can only do them a limited number of times.
I see.
Depend on the rules.
So if I see you block twice, I know you've only got one left.
Ah.
You know?
And the attacks are instantaneous.
More or less.
They count it under a second.
You can't really react.
You have to predict and you have to read the mind.
And if you both do the same attack at the same time,
you get a clash in which you have to both do button prompts
until one of you fucks up.
So it's alright.
Yeah, it's, you know...
Like, I'm not sure if we can do a full video on it.
There isn't too much going on.
And it's a little pricey right now
if it becomes like a PS Plus thing, though.
If it becomes a PS Plus, though, like, give it a download, though,
because I think it's fun for like, spurts.
Exactly.
I find like, the art's really boring, though.
What are your character designs?
It's just Charlie Chaplin, like, that's not a good character design.
I like the art, but I wish it animated more.
Yeah, it's just dull.
There's not much going on in the art.
It's that era.
It is that era.
There's no character to it, you know what I mean?
You know what?
You're right, because Skullgirls does that era with Flare.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
Oh, nash.
That's a good word for that.
It's got no vava-voo.
I really kind of...
Well, like, I kind of look at it and I go,
yeah, if we looked at this, it'd be less than ten minutes long, the video,
so it's almost like, eh, you know?
But that was fun.
And then, of course, the bigger news there is,
I was playing Guilty Gear randomly,
and then I found out through the grapevine
that one Maximilian was also playing Guilty Gear.
Maximilian, who's that?
Mr. Miles923 himself.
Oh, Chad Kroger.
Yeah, I was about the same.
Mr. Nickelback.
Yeah.
Mr. FanPent.
And he was apparently streaming it with the Yo Video Games crew at the same time.
So I was like, hmm, this shit was going on with this motherfucker right here.
And I got up to the point where I just randomly brute-forced my way in
to the lobby with people that were trying to get in.
Well, lobby, are they in?
Okay, I'm just going to hit this button until I get in.
And everyone was trying,
and I was one of the lucky few that actually managed to.
Yeah.
And I got to the room, and I was queued up to fight next against them,
but he lost, and so he backed out, and then someone else came up,
and I was like, ah, fuck.
That's not what you want.
I was right there, and I was looking at it on the stream,
and some people were seeing the name like,
wait, hold on a minute.
I know that name.
Wait a minute.
I know that PSN name, you know?
So I was like, ah, fuck.
So I went back to doing whatever.
I was like, I think I was editing, and then I went to go to bed.
And then I grabbed.
It was like 6.30 in the morning.
7 AM for us, and it was like 4 for him.
And I was just, I grabbed my phone, and I was just,
I just tweeted.
I was like, ah, Max, I was playing Xard tonight, too,
while you're streaming.
And I missed you.
I almost had a match, but oh well, maybe next time.
And then I get a reply immediately, and he just says,
right now.
I like to imagine that it was Elblaze saying it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It was N-A-A-A-U-U-U-U-U.
Right.
And I was like, oh, fuck, wait, what?
And I went back, and he's like, he's still streaming.
So I was like, oh, fuck, okay, yeah.
And so we got in there, and we did a couple sets of Xard, man.
And he took, he took his Leo, and I took my Sin, and we had the
Oh, I see that Max likes DLC boss characters.
We had the clash of the DLC Titans, as it were.
And no, it was fun, because like, we went back and forth at first.
I think we did like a good, we did three, three, and then four, four.
And then he just downloaded me and just ran that Leo game strong.
And he got, the thing that was fun about it is that like,
there were some really close matches.
The matches were either really close or blowouts.
You know what I mean?
And I'm like, that's the way it should, I love that.
When that's happening like Marvel style, it's really exciting.
So it made for some good watching.
And then yeah, he ended up taking, he took the upper hand of that,
switched over to, God, I'm sorry.
I forgot the other guy's name on your video games.
But the guy that played, not Matt, it was those,
the guy with the dreads, and then the other guy.
I'm so sorry.
I forgot your names, guys.
But he switched over to the guy that was playing Chip instead.
And that Chip fucking just ran a train on me, three out me hard.
Enough's enough.
Enough's enough, man, exactly.
You can't hope to beat the president of the world.
Yeah.
I saw people in the comments writing like, oh, I think Chip's enough
is a reference to fighting games and shit.
I'm like, are you fucking kidding me?
You children?
Dude.
Like, anyway.
That reminds me.
Anyway.
Rock and roll, you don't shit.
He's saying, I don't know who this Paul McCartney guy is,
but Kanye is going to make him famous with this track.
Exactly.
Yeah, that's like that.
We're going to smell their colons.
Yeah.
But um.
Smells British.
You know, so fucking ran a train.
Then we switched off to the other guy.
And he switched P pick Potemkin.
And then I ran the train on him.
Really?
Three out him.
Yeah.
And then went back to Max.
He picked his chi.
And then two out me.
So it was like, all in all, it was an interesting set that went back and forth.
He definitely took the upper hand at the end of the night.
But we had a lot of fun.
And most importantly, we tested out the connection from Montreal
to fucking the other side of the continent.
It worked all right.
It worked all right.
We had a four.
Assuming good netcode.
We had a four frame.
And this was at like 4am.
This was, yeah.
Well, seven for us, four for them, you know.
So yeah, we do know now that it can be done.
With good netcode, it can be done.
So if you're playing and that distance is the distance and it sucks shit,
somebody fucked up their netcode.
Exactly.
And he was having a lot of rough 19 frame delay.
Yeah.
That's what you did.
And I was so like, he was really happy.
I was like, okay, finally it's fucking working.
Aren't you happy you didn't get the PS3 version?
No.
It was when he invited me.
I'm like, we couldn't find each other for the longest while.
And then he tried to, I'm like, just add me as a friend.
He's like, okay, nothing coming.
I'm like, what the fuck?
And then I see him go to the thing on this Twitch.
And it's like, oh my God, he's in the PS3 menus.
You can't add a friend from PS3 to PS4.
Yeah.
You know?
Wait, wait, wait.
No.
What do you mean?
As somebody on their PS3, you don't get it in your PSN on your PS4.
As a friend or to play a game?
As a friend or to play a game in the cross play thing for guilty year.
The only way for PS3 and PS4 players to play together is for us to find a mutual lobby
to go into and play.
It seems like a big oversight.
You can't send an invite and you can't do a player invite into the game.
Different ecosystem.
And you can't even add the friend.
We discovered that live on stream, which was surprising because on 360, I was doing that
all the time with Xbox One stuff back and forth, but apparently that's how it's set
up right now.
Wait, you can invite people?
What games on Xbox One have?
No, no.
No, not cross play.
I mean, adding the friends.
Like if you have a message or an invite from your 360 inbox or anything going on there,
it just carries over.
But that happens on PS3.
That's why I'm confused.
That does happen on PS3.
He couldn't add me and then people in the chat started saying it and I was like, really?
And then we tried again and we tried again and it didn't work.
So again, we have the footage, you know, but that was pretty much that.
Now before we get into the game news, I want to take the opportunity, I guess, because
good suggestion, Matt, we can play a game right now.
What's the game?
The mailman just showed up.
The mailman.
Now the mail game showed up late today because it's almost five.
Maybe I got my mail in like one, yeah, weird, but my mail usually shows up at fucking 7
p.m.
You've been ordering enough horseshit to not know what this could possibly be.
My eBay, like what you just bought thing is usually two pages of what's coming, of
bullshit.
Of bullshit.
Yes.
So what's in the box?
What's in the box?
The box.
So yeah, two packages of the mailman just came.
It says Canada.
Huge letters on that.
It says to Canada.
Well, you don't want to get thrown out in the country.
You don't want to catch her up.
So before I show this, anyone want to take a stab about what type of genre this is?
I'll just say the genre.
What console is this on?
This is on PlayStation 1.
I don't fucking know.
I'm going to say it is a...
Knowing me and knowing anything we have coming up with.
I am going to say it is a hunting slash killing game.
Okay, well, I'm going to call Evil Zone.
I think it's creepy anime bullshit.
It's creepy anime bullshit.
I'm going to call it as evil zone.
Evil zone.
Evil zone.
Evil zone.
You're wrong because I already have a copy of Evil Zone.
Oh shit.
And the answer is all women's wrestling game.
Featuring Asia Kong.
Oh, what?
Is that JC on the front?
What the fuck?
This doesn't even look good.
As if that was ever a prerequisite.
Oh my god.
You got me there.
Oh my god.
Okay.
This has the girl that inspired Asuka and the girl and Armika's trainer.
Yeah, I was going to say.
Possibly because the time frame is right.
And the main wrestler from Rumble Roses.
They're all based on the same female wrestler.
Yeah.
Short black and Japanese here.
The red trunks and the red outfit.
But it doesn't matter.
This game has Asia Kong.
Asia Kong.
All right.
So we got one more...
I'm not doing this guessing shit.
All right.
If it's that far off, how do we have a chance?
Matt doesn't even know what this one is.
I don't actually...
Because there's too much bubble wrap on this one.
You need a knife?
No, he's got it.
He's got it.
I got the knife though.
You can use the knife.
This is bullshit.
It's got a light on it.
Okay, Sega Saturn.
Oh shit.
You wouldn't have ordered the Toshinden games because you know I have them all.
Yeah, sure.
I don't know.
Fuck.
Show us the thing.
We already did, Mr. Bones.
Take a company.
What company?
Okay.
Human Entertainment.
Fuck you.
Fuck you out.
Why do you even try?
Why do you even try?
You're right.
Hold it up.
Fire Pro Blazing Tornado, which is a very different Fire Pro.
It's much more arcade-like and the sprites are giant.
It's more akin to a fighting game.
And we're still going to do it a disservice when we pop it in.
I don't think it's as complicated as regular Fire Pro.
But I saw that there's a game called Blazing Tornado and I just bought it.
I don't think you understand that.
It has the words Fire Pro in the name.
Yeah, but I think it's a more accessible arcade-y Fire Pro.
That's my guess.
It's also in Japanese.
I love this.
Wow, that's really...
Shit.
It's better.
Yeah.
This double dragon art speaks to my soul, though.
That's kind of why I got it.
Yeah.
That's kind of why I got it.
All right.
So two wrestling games.
Take your guesses.
Take your guesses.
I think it's fucking high.
What?
This guy looks like the guy from Buggin' Saturday Night Slime.
I don't know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
All right.
So this is a very rare opportunity because usually I've already gotten the mail, like,
when the podcast is over or before it even starts.
Behind the scenes sneak peek at shit.
Behind the scenes sneak peek at nothing.
They're probably actually really good.
Pull back the curtain and a turd awaits you.
This turd pops out.
The Patsikawa got out of my pants somehow.
Who put that there?
What turd?
I saved them.
What?
No, don't save them.
That's not, huh?
That's not what I'm saying.
You saved Pat's poops?
No, come on.
No, you saved that person.
Pat, I am plory you to read Johnny the Homicidal Maniac.
No.
I am plory you.
No, that's not.
If he refuses to read Preacher, a thing that was written for him?
Yeah, but this is great in a different way.
I watched The Wire.
Now you have to watch Hajime no Ippo.
Yeah.
But you also have to watch Initial D.
So get fucked.
I don't like cars.
That's not the point.
You don't have to like cars.
That's not the point.
I don't like racing.
I don't find any of that interesting.
I'm not a big car guy either.
You went around the corner.
Good job, dipshit.
Is this show about Rambo?
Took the train pipe, motherfucker.
No, I don't think you quite understand how I actively dislike cars and racing.
Okay.
If you thought boxing was stupid, then we'd be on the same level.
I thought Go was a boring board game until I watched Karuno Go and that pushed my shit
in.
I think you need to give it a shot.
That's what I say.
Okay, how many episodes do I got to watch before?
Well, the first season's pretty slow.
It's a show about racing.
I'm going to be slow.
Anyway.
They have the shitty cars at first.
The point is that we can trade off shit that you should be watching until who's one of
us is left standing.
Yeah, but cars suck.
And chances are it's going to be me.
Who dies first?
If we're talking about, like, anyway.
Let's talk about game use then.
Yeah, okay.
Why I drink this homemade Bailey's.
I'm going to down it.
Hold on.
Just go for it.
That'll help.
Oh, you hear that, everyone?
Watch out for the bomb.
I guess you should just keep harassing Willie on Twitter to watch Hajime Noepo.
Yeah, yeah.
While you harass Pat to watch Initial D.
See, that's fine because I barely checked my Twitter.
Okay.
That's how it works.
I knew this.
You know what this is, William?
What your girlfriend made is it's Bailey's, but it's like egg hot Bailey's.
Maybe.
Yeah, you're right.
You're right.
I have no more to compare this to.
I'll take that as a compliment for her.
It is.
All right.
So, game use, there's a lot that went on and I think I want to bring up first and foremost.
Seaman?
No.
Never first.
A little bit more important than seaman.
You know, let's let it stoop for a little bit.
A little bit more important than seaman.
But we are going to get to that.
There's nothing more important than seaman.
Yeah, there is.
Cancer.
And the fact that AGDQ is shutting it down or trying to.
Shutting it down.
They're playing games to stop cancer.
Yeah.
The AGDQ...
I misunderstood that dramatically.
I do, too.
The way that you phrased that implied that cancer was trying to shut down awesome games done
quick.
No.
Like cancer had personified and was actively lawyering to stop awesome games done new.
Well, if we all had our way, it would be the awesome games done quick, guys.
Standing up against the final boss in the same sense that Persona does it.
You got to use myriad truths to defeat cancer.
Giant letter C.
But no, we're talking about awesome games done quick 2015.
And they raised 100k on day one, which is pretty slick.
They were at like 120 when I left.
Yeah, and I tuned in and I saw Big the Cat fucking juggling.
Did you watch all of Sonic Heroes?
No, I didn't.
I did it.
I've been watching it since like...
Why is that cool?
Wait, why was that on awesome games done quick?
Because Sonic Heroes is pretty cool on speedrun.
It's not awesome.
Have you seen a speedrun of it?
Have you seen a speedrun of it?
Or the Drex?
Well, I guess that's good because the faster Sonic Heroes is done, the better.
Matt, I think you might not be familiar with the fact that...
It's awesome.
Yeah, I agree with Matt.
But even a bad game...
You can always show Gunstar Heroes so many times.
Even a bad game speedruns correctly.
It can be fucking awesome.
Yeah, but then the event should be called games that are awesome when we speedrun them done quickly.
80 plus percent of the games are awesome.
They got a high percent team.
I'm just saying that Sonic Heroes is a fucking rancid pile of shit.
Not when he's playing, man.
Therefore, we should start our new group.
Shitty games done slow.
Shitty games done slow.
The point is here, you should tune in at awesomegames.com because it's awesome.
The event itself is awesome.
These guys are really skilled and you can give money.
It should be called games done awesome quick.
That's pretty good.
Back many years ago, when I first saw the URLs all together, I thought it was speed-demo's archive.
Oh, man!
Sure.
It was like, no, it's demos.
What a demos!
Anyway, so yeah, no, that's going on.
Tune in.
I put a link to it if you haven't seen it.
They don't got that stuff.
Yeah, they do.
But for those who don't know, it's exactly what it sounds like.
It's a bunch of speedrunners doing amazing speedruns live.
Live.
Not pre-recorded in front of an audience as people donate money to charities and various causes.
And it's really cool because it's like, they've practiced this shit, so...
They have a whole year.
Yeah, and sometimes they fuck up and stuff, but they're doing the commentary play-by-play, you know?
Okay, this jump is crucial.
It varies.
I can't miss this jump.
I can't miss it.
I'm sweating.
I made it.
I fucking made it.
It varies because I was watching and Tomb Raider Anniversary last night was pretty slow to watch.
Okay.
But then the guy came on with Uncharted next, and the Uncharted playthrough was awesome.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
And then there was the Mickey Mouse World of Illusion competitive speedrun, where they
were off by three seconds at the end.
Ooh.
They had both perfect runs, and it was a three-second gap.
So on the last level, neck and neck, that's pretty tight.
Yeah, it was pretty tight.
It was super good.
Or you get those classic moments, like, would you please be quiet?
Yeah.
Oh, yeah, of course.
But that's going on.
Other things happening is, finally, it seems like...
Do you guys remember what I was talking about?
We Shall Awake?
Yeah.
Okay, it was the game being made by fans of the character action.
Okay.
Yeah.
This came back.
It rushed back into my head.
It was the last hyper-crazy, the most action-intense little demo thing.
And all we really saw was the early prototypes of, you know, like, gray models fighting each
other and whatnot.
Yeah, absolutely early stuff.
So it seems like a lot of work's been happening in the background, and they are now feature-complete,
and they put out a new trailer showing off what's going on.
Okay.
And it seems like, yeah, they've built up, like, a little world, and they have things happening.
And the combats...
Does the camera still whip around, like, way too fast?
Yes, it does.
Ah, shit.
But there's less walls in the way to make it a lot more improved.
And it seems like it's gotten even faster.
Damn it.
I think it's gotten faster.
Damn it.
But they have that out there, and they started up a Patreon.
Okay, cool.
So I want to fucking support this.
I did.
I threw in.
And, yeah, you know, I would like to see this go as far as it could.
I think it's going to, like, be one of those games that comes out, and then they're just
going to keep updating it.
Because, you know, it seems like it's going to be a really short game initially.
But, you know...
Whatever, as long as it exists.
As long as it exists, and as long as you get a nice, like, sort of bloody palace equivalent,
you know, to use all those powers out on them, then you're going to be fine.
Yeah, definitely.
So I put a link to that.
Check that out.
We shall wake pretty good.
And shout-outs to those guys for doing character action on no budget.
Yeah.
Almost.
How no budget we talking?
We're talking out of their pockets until they start...
That's the no budgetist!
Yeah.
Are they on, like, a peso budget, too, on top of it, or are they not from that country?
I don't know.
I have no idea where.
Okay.
I thought they were from there.
Are they from peso town?
I thought so.
Hmm.
It might be Euro town.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I thought they were from there.
That's a good idea.
It's far away.
We've got the...
Yeah, I'll throw it up there.
Well, why not?
Let's get into it.
So, hey, those of you who liked Far Cry might be excited to see...
Those of you who like, like, one of the few Ubisoft games that didn't have any sort of
horrible controversy or trainwreck and stuff like that.
Well, it's like if you...
Let's say you didn't like Far Cry 4 for some reason, right?
Well, yeah.
So there's those people, of course.
If you liked any of the Far Cry's that have ever come out, there's something here for
you because Ubisoft put out a poll that was like, what do you want to see next for the
Far Cry universe?
Yeah, this is...
Weirdly straightforward.
And it was...
This was specific.
They do it.
It's just players of Far Cry.
Totally.
This is specifically to players that had, like, a registered account in Far Cry.
Like, you play or something?
Yeah, okay.
So it was only to them.
I was actually kind of sad at first because I was like, oh, it's not a poll open to everybody,
but whatever.
I don't know.
It kind of makes sense.
It makes sense.
Yeah, and they just dropped 11 scenarios on you and you just choose the one that you
find the most interesting, including Matt.
Including the one Matt got excited about.
I also got excited about this one.
I don't think anyone could not get excited about it.
It's dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs.
Well, there's two that you should be just interested in.
So hot off the heels.
So what's the other one?
Straight up Blood Dragon 2.
Okay.
Blood Dragon 2 Vietnam number 3.
Hot off the heels of years of rumors of dinosaur shit in Battlefield 4 that never went anywhere.
What?
That never went.
There's the amazing giant dinosaur shark.
Yeah, but we want it like a map.
But literally somewhere.
There's the amazing giant dinosaur shark.
People thought the the expansion was going to be.
The implication for this Far Cry pull is that the last time we saw put on official Far Cry
pull, it's like what feature do you want and co-op one?
So co-op.
So we're just going to get Far Cry to rock.
Well, here's what your choices are.
You've got a Far Cry game in a remote Alaska about survival and extreme wilderness.
That's cool.
I would like that too.
A game in a futuristic sci-fi setting on another planet.
That's better.
That's not better.
A game set in the Vietnam War during the 1960s.
That's not better.
That's not better.
A game set in the cocaine trafficking jungles of Peru.
That's boring.
I can see that being more interesting with Vietnam.
A bit no more jungles.
But yeah.
A game where you can fight against or join vampires.
That's okay.
That's true.
I feel like that's more of a mode.
That's not bad though.
That's not bad.
I think we're talking masquerade style vampires.
No.
We're talking French vampires.
We're talking dark.
We've got a game set in a spaghetti western setting in the late 1990s.
That's good.
That's good.
That's good.
Now if you said tri-gun like setting, then that would be the clear way.
Although Red Dead got that a lot out of people's system.
But it's a first person.
It's a first person.
You're right.
It's different.
It doesn't have those slippery rock star controls.
Oh, slippery.
They're slippery.
Yeah.
You ever open a rock star game?
Zombie outbreak.
Moving along.
I'm pleasure myself with this rock star game.
They missed that one.
It's that irrelevant.
Yeah, it's that irrelevant.
It's fine.
We've got Blood Dragon sequel.
We've got Mad Max post apocalyptic worlds.
That's not bad.
That's good.
That's still good.
They specify the word Mad Max.
Yeah, so you're going to open vehicles and shit.
Lord Humongous.
Thunder Dome.
Lord Biggest Man.
Heart.
Blood Dragon turning into Mad Max.
How about that?
Yeah.
You can combine both.
We've got present day Jurassic Park, Dinosaur Island.
Yeah.
That's all right.
It seems tame compared to some of the other.
Honestly, it should be a Wild West Jurassic Park, Dinosaur Island.
I think with Cyborgs.
No, I think you can ditch that.
Also, you should win things by plane.
No.
I think...
It's pretty good.
It's pretty good.
What you kids want is a realistic, down-to-earth video game that's totally off the wall and
sword with magic robots.
What's the fucking Atari game that you can win like a chalice and sword?
Oh, Sword Quest.
Sword Quest, yeah.
Yeah, that worked out great.
The head of the company just stole the loot.
The Ruby and Crusty story.
Well, Talarico got away with a million dollars from Advent Rising.
There you go.
Are you serious?
No.
And spent on a plastic surgery.
And his ears.
And footstep sound effects.
And footstep sound effects.
And for saying that Japanese fighting game music is bad.
You know, really, the sprites are dead and they need to go away.
It's a 3 out of 10 game.
You remember that fucking Whatchamara view of Symphony of the Night?
Where it's just like, this is dated, this is...
Sprites are dead and they need to go away.
Man, fuck that.
Man, we are bitter.
15 years later about that shit.
He used it on Symphony of the Night.
And then he used it on Capcom vs SNK2.
Now, Capcom vs SNK2, I could see why people would say that at the time.
But you literally used it on Symphony of the Night.
A game that proved, compared to California 64, that that's...
Sprites are the way to go.
I know that you were creating a contrast there for the point, Matt.
But what the fuck are you talking about?
You can see how people use that for CVS too.
CVS too.
No, I just mean at the time, like 2000 and one.
The level of ignorance.
The level of ignorance.
Fuckin' stuns me.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That being said, with this list of Far Cry games,
I say, scratch out the Jurassic Park one
and just insert dinosaurs into the rest.
Yes.
Yes?
I agree.
Spaghetti Western?
Dinosaurs.
Dinosaurs spaghetti Western.
Hey.
Dinosaurs love spaghetti.
Or, or you go to the Alaskan Wilderness one
and you don't have dinosaurs, but you have Ice Age shit.
Oh.
Like a mastodon.
A woolly mammoth.
Two tigers and shit.
I think you're gonna say like the thing.
No.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You do the Alaskan thing and then it's like mountains of madness.
Yeah.
Oh, that's so good.
Yeah.
Like four stages fighting a woolly mammoth.
Yeah.
Fighting a woolly.
Finding a way to kill it.
It's a giant woolly mammoth.
What would you do if there was a giant woolly in the Arctic?
You can't kill it.
Guns are not gonna work.
Guns aren't effective against the woolly.
You need like,
You need to wash it.
You need an army of polar bears on your side to start with.
And they just might be able to take down a regular six foot woolly.
Because the distraction of the murdered polar bears are probably gonna get it.
You know what I mean?
Get it shaken.
And then you can use like a giant like fucking stalactite while it's eating the air.
Well, you're aware that a woolly mammoth is just a larger than average elephant with fur, right?
Giant tusks.
Yeah.
It's not like a dayific being.
No.
But in scale, the woolly mammoth and the mastodon.
And the mastodon.
And the 60 foot woolly to be clear.
Yeah, it is.
Okay.
Oh.
No.
See that being said,
I'd go down easy.
Colossus.
Like,
Small arm the choir after a little while will kill an elephant.
If you,
If I'm a colossus and you have to fight me and you kick me in the toe,
I'm done.
You're like,
Ah,
I'm done.
I'm out.
Also recall that in January,
the winter in January specifically woolly just takes damage from being outside.
I do.
I do.
Like,
like the wanderer is riding up to me with aggro and I'm already like,
Ah!
You didn't allocate your stats and resistances properly.
No.
He comes across me on the way down.
Like,
I'm already fucking dying.
The wanderer is just like,
Uh,
Uh,
Dun,
Dun,
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Like, you know what the worst part about Crisis Core is?
Is the version that you can get through less than legitimate means
is a way better version of that game because it has no low times.
That's it.
But to answer your question, Soldier G and
Soldier G.
Live action footage.
Fuck.
Fuck.
I mean,
Stop it.
All right.
I'm blown away, Birth by Sleep exists in the HD collection.
I was gonna shit on the slot machines,
but I was like, you know, that wasn't it.
But it took that much to get to the game.
Yeah, it took that long.
It had to be a full-on fucking full-blown room.
But those games should have been their day one on the lead-up.
Like, they should have been there.
I remember when I got a PSP Go and I did some magic.
I was playing Birth by Sleep on a PSP Go on my television.
Yeah.
That was awesome, of course.
It sucks that people that weren't willing to jump through those
slightly nefarious hoops could not get that.
Man, these hoops.
That was super nice.
That was where I followed the previous hoops you jumped through
by being a Kingdom Hearts fan.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fucking console hoppin'.
Like, you want the ultimate and fuck you.
Like, the fucking patch that hackers put out
that fixed War of the Lions on PSP.
Yeah.
Like, that shit.
That mistake was really bad.
That's embarrassing.
Yeah.
Um.
Oh, man.
PSP glory days were so good.
I had a thing the other day where I downloaded Killzone Liberation.
Yeah.
Which is, like, a really good game.
That's a top-down one.
Is that the PSP one?
It's a PSP one.
Yeah, okay.
It's a really good game.
Everyone should play that if they haven't.
Um, you can't get the last mission anymore.
Because it was a, it was, like, an epilogue mission thing.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
And it was downloadable from the Zorah's website.
No, no, it was downloadable from their website
and you'd put it in the PSP's game folder.
Oh, fuck off.
Before there was DLC.
But, you know, Willy's also referring to the fact
that if you have the disc version of a Zorah's Wrath
and if a Zorah's Wrath ever gets delisted,
you'll never get the real idea of the truth.
You'll never find out what happens.
And they fucking gouged you.
The true ending.
The same shit as Prince Persia Zero's Epilogue.
Oh, yeah.
It's nothing.
But also Epilogue was meant to fix
because everyone hated the game's actual ending.
For Prince Persia Zero?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Find ending.
Oof.
Suitable ending.
You have a good feeler on there?
Because I feel low energy.
Seaman.
Talk about seaman.
We threw you the seaman story.
Yeah.
And I'm shooting it all over you.
I've been dodging the seaman as hard as I can.
Talk about seaman.
But I can't get away from it anymore.
The guys over at Devolver Digital,
specifically the head poncho,
is trying to badger Sega
into giving them the license to seaman
because they're like,
The quote is,
Hey at Sega,
please let us nerds at Devolver Digital
have the license to create a new seaman game.
Pretty please.
They really want to do something.
They really want that.
Sega's giving away shit
for other people to work on all over the place.
Why not this?
They have ideas.
I was at a fucking Sega amusement park
recently in Japan, okay?
And there's this big wall,
like as big as Matt's wall screen.
Wall of seaman.
Filled with seaman fish, right?
Yeah.
And there were webcams set up on either side
so you could take a picture of your face
and it would get put on one of the seaman fish.
Yeah, you need webcams for the seaman.
And there were seaman fish all over the wall.
So Sega is still using that seaman
for their amusement parks.
It's great.
If you go to a Sega amusement park,
keep an eye out for the seaman.
Oh my god.
I'm having this moment
where I just put myself in the shoes
of every 15-year-old listening to this podcast.
It's like, what the fuck are they talking about?
Why are they keep talking about seaman?
Do they really mean seaman?
If you're going to make a seaman game,
you have to do it now before Leonard Nemoer dies.
Yeah, pretty much.
Yeah.
You can get somebody else.
You can get like Neil Gray's Dyson.
Leonard Nemoer is the voice of seaman.
Come on.
Yeah, but the fucking denture tooth spock
that we got in the remake
with Kirk Harwell always will bring a frunk.
You're not wrong though.
It's like, that was cool, but man,
he's getting up there.
He's an old ass man.
I don't know if we'd need to like
lock that in for a seaman.
Just have a, what's the new spock to it?
Hey, there we go.
That's exactly what Quinto do.
Yeah, Quinto do it.
Got him solved.
Who has a super recognizable voice.
He wants seaman all over his CV.
That's right.
So, why was the voice of seaman?
From seaman.
Okay, Troy.
All right.
Oh man, I remember back in 99
trying to explain the concept of that game to someone.
To your dad.
Totally failing.
No, a friend of mine.
Like I read about it in EGM.
Yeah.
And I'm just like trying.
Okay, so you talk to the seaman
and the seaman grows a face
and talks back to you
and then Leonard Nemoer's there.
And it sounds like a whole fucking fever dream.
Sounds like my fan fiction.
But it's actually awesome.
The seaman sure is logical.
Yeah, sure is.
Speaking of fluids.
Seaman.
Seaman.
And the releasing of them.
Yeah, that's right.
You guys see that first look
at Project Scissors Night Cry.
I did not.
I absolutely did.
Project Scissors now has its official name
and it's Night Cry.
Yeah.
Okay, well here's the thing.
Get off your phone because
it's going to look at it.
It's a live action footage
of the teaser thing of what airs.
Exactly.
But they're going to have,
they said that they're going to have
an actual like more in-depth look
later this month.
But the live action trailer
is directed by the guy that
created the grudge.
So there's that.
Sure, sure.
But still it's not game.
No, I'll boo.
But.
But.
Because I was like.
Sorry, sorry.
You know who's designing the main
antagonist in this game?
Well, stop.
Because that's where I'm going.
Let me finish.
Don't tell me.
Take it.
I think you would know.
No, that's the point of why this is
on the dock.
Okay, take that.
Because I was about to roll past
this story.
I want to hear you say
Junji Ito.
I was about to roll past this
story because I was like,
what the fuck?
It's just a live action thing.
And then they're like,
hey look, this scissor walker,
the new enemy is being designed
by the guy who made Pyramid Head.
Okay.
And he held up a little picture
on his Twitter.
And you can take a look at it.
In fact, I kind of pulled it up
here.
It's a little obscure thing.
But man with giant fucking scissors,
he's got the hood on,
and he's got the barbed wire
wrapped around his neck.
Just like you want from clock tower.
Midget with scissors.
He's not a midget this time, though.
You can't really tell,
but I don't think he is.
He doesn't look like a midget.
Doesn't look like midget proportions
going on there.
Yeah.
Do you have that guy's name?
Yeah.
Masahiro Ito.
Yes.
I fucked it up.
I meant Masahiro Ito.
I was wondering for a minute there.
Yeah.
No, no.
That's the name I wanted.
That's the name I wanted.
Yeah.
He's the guy who,
when people sent him pictures
of the Silent Hill 2 HD collection,
went,
oh, so poor.
Yeah.
Well,
this picture of him holding up
his, like, new design,
he looks proper chuffed.
This dude knows how to design
adjectors.
Well,
one of the guys who interviewed
him recently said he's always
a smiley guy,
and in pictures,
he never smiles.
This picture right here,
he's fucking dead pink.
Well,
you think about it,
it makes no sense that,
like, here's the new horror
I created,
and he's all smiles.
I'm glad that means
he's born out of whatever fucking
mobile hellhole
Konami had thrown him in.
To be fair,
like, if you interrupted
HR Geiger
in the middle of one of his paintings,
do you think he'd be smiling
for the photo op that he would hope so?
No, he would bark at you,
and dicks would fly out.
I would hope for that,
or just, like,
the face that someone makes
when you wake them out of a night terror,
is what you want to see
on your horror monster designer guy.
I bet you,
if HR Geiger's still alive,
and you tweeted him a picture
of anything from Alien Resurrection,
he'd go,
oh, so poor.
Yeah.
But then you tell him
about the story with fucking,
um,
the scrapped design from,
uh,
what's his name again?
Blonkamp.
Blonkamp.
Blonkamp.
And then Geiger goes,
fuck, that looked cool.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The guy that directed
Elysium and District 9.
District 9.
Yeah, Blonkamp.
Blonkamp.
Look at this fucking Alien shit.
I got this phallus.
Look at, look at,
like, there's tons of that shit, too.
It's like a lot.
This was going to be a thing.
And like,
that tweet reads like,
I've given up,
like this shit's never going to get made.
It's not that it got canceled officially,
it's just that no one
ever got back to them.
I think it's also a
Final Fantasy,
uh,
12-style gambit,
where,
if you,
if you,
then get something canceled
or never went anywhere,
and then you're like,
okay,
they go,
I'm sure whatever,
take all this material
and do whatever you want with it.
You then put it out somewhere,
you get so much support,
it gets re-greenlit,
like that Deadpool footage.
Yeah.
Because that's how that works.
Yeah.
They're starting Deadpool,
Fawcett goes no.
Okay, that's where you went.
Okay.
Just do whatever you want with it,
we don't care.
Then it gets 15 million views
and they go,
whoa!
The other gambit I was thinking of
was Alternate Reality,
where we got this,
and it was like,
yeah, all right, sure.
And then someone goes,
here's that unused Ridley Scott
Prometheus concept
that never got off the ground,
planning to explain the Planet Jackers,
a Planet Jockeys.
I like Planet Jackers actually.
Well, that's an invader sim.
Yeah, okay.
They go get out of here.
Right?
And everyone goes,
oh my God,
Ridley Scott explaining
the actual race
that the aliens came from,
that would have been so much better.
So that's the other problem.
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
But one thing I take away
from that piece of news,
not to hijack the story,
is that would have been taking place
inside of the Wayland Corp headquarters.
Yeah.
In Johannesburg.
Yeah.
Because everything he makes
takes place in South Africa.
Everybody knows, I guess,
where he's from,
and it's what he does.
I think even his new movie,
Chappy, which is about a robot,
yeah, it takes place.
Always, always.
So this is a Night Cry game
that we were talking about
at some point.
I was never too much
a fan of Clock Tower
because it scared me.
They're not great.
But that's why you should do it.
No, but I was going to say,
they've got a real dream team
assembled for this one.
It's nuts.
Former Silent Hill people?
Clock Tower.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Now it has former Silent Hill people
and those guys,
and this guy.
Yeah.
I think the guy that's doing the music
is also one of them.
Silent Hill,
those teams were small, dude.
I think the max number of people
on those games was 13.
Yeah, something like that.
It's assuming they aren't dead
or they're not completely out of the business.
Considering when Silent Hill 4
didn't do really well,
those people got kicked down
into the mobile hell of Konami.
I imagine it'd be pretty easy
to pull the entire fucking band back together
to do shit like this.
Well, didn't a lot of them form
the team that made the Siren games?
Some of them did.
But remember, though,
that the rule with runaway Japanese success games,
especially going back in the day,
is that there's a totalitarian dictator
who had a vision that made it work.
Unlike Western games where it's more of a committee.
Remember that guy that the Italian dude
that directed Shadows of the Dead?
That's what I'm talking about.
That's what I'm quoting.
That's what I'm quoting.
That's what I'm quoting.
Yes.
Yes.
That said, American development
is completely by committee.
Yeah.
That's all at a round table
and figure out how this game's going to go.
Figure out how to sell the most stuff.
And you can tell
when you play those really weird Japanese games
that we like.
You play phantom dust.
And you see particular flavors of weirdness
that comforts one man's psyche.
It's one guy's idea
that went all the way to the end.
It's the kind of thing where,
how do I put this?
What's the example?
Sweary convincing everyone on the dev team
that no, trust me, it's a good idea.
Here's the example I'm going to go with.
You know how when you play an Ubisoft game,
even if I didn't tell you it was an Ubisoft game,
even if it wasn't,
let's say you're playing Shadows of Mordor, right?
And your brain goes,
this feels like an Ubisoft game, right?
This feels like a Batman game, right?
You think this is company or a style, right?
But when you play something that Kojima made,
your brain goes, did Kojima make this?
You watch the trailer for Zoda the Ender's Tube.
And you go, oh, Kojima directed that.
Right.
And you still get the lock in of like,
this came from this place,
but with the West, it tends to be,
this is a Bioware thing, right?
Or, yeah, right?
But with the East, it's usually like,
it's Kojima.
This feels like a Miyamoto thing.
Also, I feel like most Western large games,
not indie games, obviously,
because that's more polarized to one person.
But for large games, you never get 10s.
You never get that with Western games.
Really?
You never get perfect Western games.
You never get Western games.
I don't mean that in terms of quality,
but when you're playing it,
you never get to a 10 on excitement or...
No, I'm pretty sure of that.
Assassin's Creed and stuff.
I never get to a 10.
I'm pretty sure that GTA IV had
Oscar-caliber-worthy script.
But that's like, what, one game?
Isn't that true?
That got perfect 10s.
I'd say that New Vegas hits a lot.
I'm making fun of IGN.
But that's what I mean is like,
you get like one or two of these games every year.
That being said,
when I'm to think of it,
despite being a team effort,
New Vegas is clearly the vision
of Josh Sawyer and Chris Avalon.
Yeah, no, exactly.
I'm like, that one can clearly be
marked back to those games.
My brain is trying to fight you,
but I'm not getting anything.
Yeah, you get more Japanese games
that are like...
Whoa!
than you do Western games.
That's our tastes.
As far as...
We aren't biased.
As far as triple A's go.
No, as far as triple A's go.
I'm not talking about...
We are super-duper Japanese
fanboy fucking biased assholes.
Hey, how many people in this room
went to Japan this year?
Not this year.
Or last year, rather.
Last year.
12 months.
Oh, God.
What a fucking time to pick that, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, we gotta roll through
some awesome fighting game news.
You see that fucking guy
that tells me to stop riding
Japan's dick so hard,
and I'm like,
it's hard to not to
when it's folded over a thousand times.
Nice.
Stop liking the thing I don't like.
Yeah.
I don't like Finn.
Yeah, stop it.
Okay.
No, the angel comes down.
Yeah.
Okay.
And gives you a little card.
Okay, so we got a lot of awesome
fighting game news to roll out into.
Diago says Street Fighter 5 sucks.
He says it's slow,
and he says that...
Wait, did he play it?
Yeah, of course.
Okay.
Yeah.
Because that's an important...
Yeah, and if you go read
the Beast Note...
I love that name.
I love that name.
I love that name.
You go read the Beast Note website,
and he talks about,
or the transcript is
of his impressions.
And so he thinks it's a bit slow
right now,
especially because it emphasizes,
you know, again,
the defense type of thing.
And he kind of puts out that,
you know...
And this is true,
is there's a lot of situations
in modern day like Ultra,
and 4 from when it started,
where someone blows someone up
nice and early in the round,
and then the commentators will go,
now all he's got to do is hold
down back, and he's got this.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It is true.
A lot of people that know
Street Fighter are familiar
with all the other titles,
will say that 4 is way too defensive.
Way too defensive.
It's compared to the rest of it.
And I think he even puts out that,
like, game should have a limit
on blocking.
Well, that's where I was going next,
is like he puts out,
he explains what he thinks
is critically an issue,
but then proposes
drastic changes to
Street Fighter's formula.
Which is...
Like actual incanses?
Yeah.
Adding fucking instant kills
is right up there.
Yeah.
No, he puts out that he thinks
it would be interesting
if you were playing a fighting game
where you had a limit
to how many times in a row
you could block.
Like 10 times to block,
or 5 tech throws.
Like guard crush?
But guard crush is way more than 10.
It is.
And it grows back,
and it's based on pressure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that's very different.
A limited number of blocks
over time based on
an exchange of hits,
or pressure.
You know what would be great
if you could sacrifice your life.
Oh god.
For more time on the clock.
I'm so happy that you're putting...
Yes!
Matt is slowly coming around
and realizing
how ahead of its time
fighter-pedial life is.
It took you fucking years,
but you finally see.
But even better than that,
no, it's still that
you have a partner,
you're playing a tag team game,
and you could sacrifice
your partner
for more time on the clock.
It's the most useless fucking system.
Cross-cross-partner
time sacrifice.
Pandora system.
Anyway.
It's the opposite of Pandora.
Yeah, I know.
So, yeah, that would be...
God, that would be such a good improvement.
That would be a really
interesting game to play,
but I don't think
it would be Street Fighter.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you know what?
Make a new fighting game
and do crazy shit with a Capcom.
Make like a new series.
Tap in my brain,
but, you know,
our mind's based on dodge.
Final Fight Revenge too.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, burn.
Use that chain.
Chain traps.
Chain for days.
So, yeah,
and that's interesting
because I think
this is the first time
we've really seen Daigo
come out and say,
here's a mechanic
that I think a game should have.
Yeah, I think so.
You know what?
And it lets me go,
I disagree with Daigo.
I think that
I like Guard Crush better
than that.
I like Guard Crush a whole lot.
Right.
I like Guard Crush a whole lot.
Because Guard Crush,
well, it's time-based,
but it lets you
lame it out a bit more.
This still...
This forces you to be
even more offensive,
but I want it backed off
from Marvel level
a little bit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So...
Well, I agree with them
in a sense, just like,
yeah, when I first saw,
like, you know,
the gameplay match,
I was like,
this just looks
so slow and awkward,
or I think where it disagrees
is that I just assume
it's because it's early.
Yeah.
And not that it won't
change or be better.
Like Four,
when it began,
was way slower
than it is now.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, you know,
it probably did
where it was like a super cool...
You don't even pick your character
in that one.
If the isms turn out
to be elements
in the same way people are
expecting,
like, you can pick water
or electricity
or if they do that thing.
Well, nobody cares about the names.
If there isms.
But the point is,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
then this could get interesting,
but I think it doesn't have
to be that complicated
of a solution.
I think we just
re-instate Guard Crush
and we're fine.
Yeah.
So that's cool.
That being said,
depending on if,
like, that chip damage
from normal stays in,
like, blocking all the time,
it could actually be really bad for you.
It is staying in
and I,
and I,
because gray health
isn't the new thing.
Gray health is not chip damage.
It's different.
And that is,
and that's awesome.
And I like that
because there's your pressure.
Yeah.
I'm going to sit here and block
and it's like, fuck you.
And I'm going to build up
a gray health debt
for you.
Now that you have that debt,
don't get blown up.
Yeah.
And even if you blow me up,
I hope you can run away
long enough
to get it back.
Yeah, exactly.
Gray health is so good.
Gens Ultra II,
where you fucking get
all that damage
in gray health
and you've got to commit the hit.
Yeah.
What a mind game.
Um, so that's fun.
We've got magazine scans
leaking out cum laude
from MK10.
He looks old,
but not old enough.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, I made this point
is that you can either be
young and like a 20 year old
or you have to be
ancient.
I don't want,
it's like 55.
I don't want middle-aged
fighting game man.
Oh.
Unless you're Brian Fierce.
He's got like a coma.
Also, this is the first time
there's a character
that's showed up in MKX
that is a normal human
and now is old
because Quan Chi,
Sorcerer, whatever.
Yeah.
Bullshit.
Yeah.
What about Cano?
Can't even look that old.
He looks like he's in his 40s.
Yeah.
Look like he's in his 40s.
Well, you know,
he's using Black Dragon drugs,
I guess.
Time in prison runs slower
than...
Time in Australia
in space prison
runs slow
to maximize
the imprisonment.
Kung Lao is a weird character to me.
It's all that fosters.
Because in MK2,
I thought Kung Lao
was the fucking coolest
because his face was always
covered in shadow
because of the hat.
Yes.
And the more normal comments
went on,
he just looked more like
a dorky guy.
In Deception,
no, not Deception.
In Deadly Alliance,
when one of his costumes
is the hat on his back,
like Kung Lao died for me.
Yeah.
It kind of takes away
this old man.
He was just a generic Kung Fu
man with a hat on his back.
Yeah.
But you know that
he's referenced to the
old school fucking
with a big hat.
You got it.
So you can't go too far
away from that.
I know.
But that being said,
the three styles
that they've brought out for him
are Hattrick,
Buzzsaw,
and Tempest.
So Hattrick is,
straight up,
I put the hat out in midair
and it floats and spins.
Yeah.
And I can control it
in its directions.
Yeah.
You've got Buzzsaw,
which is on the ground
as a slow projectile.
Yeah.
Which I can use to...
And the hat...
Yoga catastrophe.
The hat is now serrated.
Yeah.
And then Tempest
does his spin moves
are improved.
His spin moves are improved
and he has a protective
hat,
spin,
and body.
Like Rose.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
Let the spirits guide you.
I was thinking like
Batman with his Batman.
Well,
yeah,
maybe,
but Rose is like
more of a pose
over time.
Yeah.
And based on the
description of it,
it sounds like it's going to be
in effect.
Okay, good.
So these are all came out
scans in obscure magazine,
all three styles,
three minutes of game play.
Like those are always
really cool.
Yeah.
Well,
he's got a bat.
He's got an ugly bat.
Looks dumb.
I mean,
like me saying that I want
Kung Lao Older
is just a random dumb aesthetic
thing.
Of course.
But beyond that,
like MKX hasn't fucked up yet.
Yeah.
All the new characters
look awesome.
All the old characters look good.
And the game was fun to play.
Yeah.
And it comes out
in like four months.
It comes out in April.
Wait,
there's so much wrong.
It comes out in April.
We're still waiting.
And we're still waiting to see
Goro.
Goro is in there.
There's a render,
but I want to fucking
see Goro.
Well,
then we got to wait for that
last like month where the
Hype wheels start going on
full blast.
Then they'll just
threading Cougar back.
Yeah.
That character we all love.
I love Fred.
I want Fred.
Goro with two arms tied
behind his back.
This is other styles.
And it's the
upper arms.
Yeah.
That's awkward.
Yeah.
I have four pecs.
The upper left and
the bottom right arms.
Yeah.
The most fucking
finagle.
Yeah.
Exactly.
But you know
older Goro is cool.
Yeah.
Older Goro would be cool.
Yeah.
Like silver.
Yeah.
Nice.
Goro's 500 fucking years old.
I know.
The older looking
The 30 years between
MK9 and MKX are going to
make a fucking
lick a difference to Goro.
Plus he was a prince.
He's going to look
exactly the same.
Four Goro
plus Motaro at the same time.
Four
Goro.
Goro riding Motaro.
Yeah.
Done.
Done.
There's money there.
Moving along.
Yeah.
What other fighting game
news?
There's lots.
Yeah.
We've got Omen on the
K.I. side being
The Herald of Gargos.
Hinted at with a little bit
of a half screen shot.
So the details.
It's a wing.
It's interesting.
It's a wing and a hand.
And a hand.
And I do like
how they're
playing the
storyline element here
because I'm like,
all right.
I thought so much
inside Shadow Jago
that I have enough
possessed into my
own dude.
The battle experience
came out of him
as the possessed spirit
and became
its full form.
That's cool.
That's good.
So that makes it sound
like we're getting
another similar to Jago
but different.
He shares
his own character.
Like Shadow Jago
instead of being
in his own character
will just be
remain a skin.
And then the
new Shadow Jago
or whatever is Omen
and it's its own character.
And Omen is going to
be Akuma.
Yeah.
And then you have three
bars.
Of super.
Which is the only character
in the game that has that.
And it's a move that uses
all three.
Raging Demon most likely.
Yeah.
I love you, awesome.
Fucking Max revealed
on the Twitch
that in the early versions
for
early versions of
Shadow Jago's boss form.
Yeah.
During the first round
after he beats you
the AI
would walk up to
your body
and fucking teabag you
automatically
between rounds
and then go back to normal
fighting stance.
And then they got rid of it
because they're like
people were just
they were
people didn't like it.
They couldn't
they couldn't deal.
It's hard enough
and it might encourage
unsportsmanlike behavior.
Because when people
teabag
and killer instinct
it's really bad
because the movement
of ducking
and getting back up is so
quick.
It's just annoying
when the people do it.
Plus they've long
since been wanting to
put more like
people have asked about
a respect taunt.
Yeah.
And they're like
that's something we'd really
love to do.
Respect taunt is awesome.
I just
I just wish in guilty gear
it didn't do anything.
I wish I could
I wish I could give someone
respect without it having
a ramification.
Yeah.
I guess you know
respect them enough.
Not enough to lose the
fight.
We're having a close fight.
I don't want to make it
better for you.
Yeah.
So they're going to
make it like third strike
where my taunt
has a minor buff.
You know,
they're going to
they're going to stream
Omen.
Yeah.
This week apparently.
Yeah.
So I can't wait to see that
he's going to be in killer
instinct.
His name needs to be
Dumber.
He feels like his name
should be in a guilty gear
game like Testament or
Omen, whatever.
Gargol.
Gargol.
Eidos.
Like it's it's fun, but
like this is their bonus
character where
bro man.
He uses a lot of
Shadow Jago's stuff
like his normals and
things because they just
want to make like a quick
character.
So they have more time to
work on the rest, which
is, you know, fair play.
Yeah.
Just the last thing I was
going to say on the little
auto auto teabagging thing is
that it feels like something
that would all it really does
is like if you don't get
bothered by that shit, then
it would not affect you at
all.
You just laugh at it and
think it's funny.
But if you rage quit, this
makes that rage could happen
one game before it usually
would.
It speeds up that
threshold.
That's all, you know.
And this is the CPC
doing it.
Exactly.
Boss Jago is not playable.
We've got a Shaheen.
Shaheen.
Shaheen.
We've got the first.
So literally on the last
podcast we were saying all
these new characters in
Tekken 7 are not like they're
all just like either eh or
people have that really
negative reaction like they
did to like Chloe.
Yeah.
Lucky Chloe has a super
negative reaction from a lot
of people.
And then the other two were
just like.
Just meh.
I don't even remember those
characters.
Yeah.
But then that's the worst
possible thing you can say
about a fucking game character.
Lucky Chloe, at least you
remember her.
Lucky Chloe games have
nothing on the appeal level
until people get their hands
on you.
Yeah.
So when you see a design
it's make or break.
Yeah.
And I think Shaheen fucking
nails it.
Shaheen is fucking nails it.
You're simple too.
Like it is the pretty man
that got kicked out of the
UAE.
Yeah.
I remember that news
story.
And I saw that guy.
He was pretty.
Everyone wanted him.
Yeah.
And the fact that they put
you know they like they put
out the initial thing with
the concept art and then
Harada was like hey so if
anyone has any comments or
feedback on it we'd
appreciate it because they
just kind of be like we should
just start screaming at Harada
and go like make him rage.
We hope we're not stepping
on anyone's toes you know
or whatever but he really
revealed that and he also came
out and said he was being
sarcastic with the whole
Lucky Chloe thing.
No fucking shit Harada.
Yeah.
The media just takes things
out of proportion.
Well not just the media.
Some people were like
insent.
Believing it.
It was nuts.
The other thing about
Twitter is that since your
character limit is like there's
less room for interpretation
when someone writes something
because they can only write
in bare facts.
And you're not going to
miss this.
And you're not going to use
twit longer for a joke.
They can only ask you if you
eat shit.
Yeah.
That's all the room is there.
Or prepare a drawing for you.
Prepare a drawing.
I have prepared.
I have prepared a salty
statement in illustration form.
The artwork was not approved
so we have prepared.
You're going to go back to
that like every two weeks.
We love that shit so much.
Because you can't just go to
Kamiya.
The illustration was already
exists.
I know.
All four of these new characters
right.
Generic lady whatever it is
Tekken 7.
Da-da-da.
And then Generic guy.
No one remembers.
Generic.
Then Air Generic.
Then Lucky Chloe comes in.
The combo break.
The Shaheek is a counter breaker.
Yeah man.
I love it.
No.
What I was saying is just the
first thing I think of when I
see Shaheen is this is the
opposite direction that Capcom
went in to do the same thing.
Yeah.
Haqqan being a very particular
thing you've never heard of.
Yeah.
In a very particular place.
This incredibly specific
hyper-stereotype Gonzo cartoon
character.
Even a stereotype.
Right.
Make believe.
But it's so you have so little
info on what he is.
Yeah.
That you're like okay they
researched and found the thing
they thought was interesting.
And then they went and made
this great character.
Yeah.
And Shaheen is like no this is
exactly what you'd expect.
This is exact what you said.
Okay.
The new Tekken characters a guy
from Saudi Arabia and I
completed it in my head and I
looked at the fucking
screenshot and it's exactly
what I thought it was.
And it looks but it's just
never been done.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Because everything else looks
like an iron sheet.
The character.
The closest and it's not even
that close is Leon from Dead or
Alive.
Yeah.
And the only thing that's
similar is that Leon has like
the head wrap.
Well I mean fucking Bayman is
you know.
No you're thinking of Leon.
They're very similar.
Yeah.
Okay.
Well yeah.
Exactly.
Exactly.
That's the only thing that's
anywhere near close to this
guy.
But no this is this is it.
This is this is the right way
to do it.
And I'm fucking like yeah.
Kudos.
So show us Shaheen.
Until he does the stance
change and pulls out his
ritual knife.
Yeah.
The religion knife.
Yeah.
And he just becomes some
swindler.
Like until he does that.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Like we were saying.
It's still Japan.
It's still Japan.
It's like his artwork is awesome.
He comes out and he starts
talking and just the most
horrible racist things come
out.
Yeah.
And he pulls out the prayer
card.
Okay.
And just starts going for
your life.
What if.
What if.
What if.
What if it's horrible and
embarrassing.
But it's Iron Sheik saying it.
Oh god.
But that's the problem.
You're pulling me back.
You're pulling me back.
The problem is what if it's
just like somebody mods it so
that Iron Sheik's interviews
and you know he's not the
first Middle Eastern character
or the second in fighting games.
Yeah.
But he's the second.
He's the best looking.
That is not based on
Iron Sheik.
Yeah.
I put thin bobbing
camera clutch.
I break his back.
Fuck him in ass with
10 inch cock.
And make him
humble.
All right.
Iron Sheik's the greatest.
By the way.
It'll be a sad day when
Iron Sheik passes on.
And you know what's
going to happen.
Like really soon.
He'll die.
I have.
I have that.
I have that photo with him
pissing his pants.
And I am proud of it.
Uh.
Shaheen by the way.
Yeah.
Apparently means hawk.
Okay.
Fine.
Yeah.
I guess he can
fight Takamura then.
Yeah.
See you would have gotten
that joke if you'd
watched it though.
No.
But you know you've
talked about the American
Hawk that's an asshole
all the time.
No.
It's an American eagle.
Yeah.
Oh.
And a hawk.
Yeah.
There's some.
There's still just a
community of nothing but lies.
So there's one.
Uh.
Little Mac dropped off
the face of the fucking
earth.
Shopper.
Yeah.
And he's like 29th to
48 characters right now
or whatever.
But there's some new tech.
He has an aerial death combo
in which he can hop off of
you, hit you and re-hop.
And he can do that
like buh buh buh buh buh buh
buh.
Upper.
Yeah.
Now it's not super easy
to pull off.
No it's really hard to do
those on purpose.
Yeah, of course.
But it's a little bit like
an RSF.
I'm stuck fierce with
Forte in the sense that
it gives him an advantage
and if you can pull it off
fucking kudos to you
you did it.
Okay.
No, I can see that
on my head but that's
like doing one of those
toe-stool jumps they're tricky.
So it's not,
I don't think it's a game
changer.
It's not free.
However.
It's just nice that
he has it.
But you're putting him
in the air too.
Yeah.
Meanwhile on the other
end of things fucking
Pac-Man, if you get
two Pac-Mans together
on the same team
or whatever, you can jump
with both of them and do
their up-beat
and create trampolines
for each other until
you leave the stage
and you float higher than
anyone can touch you.
No one's hit you
so you don't die.
So like in Mega Man
not through that?
No.
It needs to be
Pac-Man,
two Pac-Mans specifically
because they allow
the height they come at
puts it one above the other.
So what you're saying,
what you're saying
is that Mega Man
and Pac-Man have been
running together since
Cross-Tec-Man.
Since Cross-Tec-Man.
And Mega Man
taught Pac-Man
how to leave the stage
for timer spam.
Exactly.
And now while you're
floating out of the stage
you're taking damage
but it doesn't matter
because you're never coming
back down.
Exactly.
Right?
And what happens is
it goes to sudden death
and then they do the same
thing again.
And then while they're out there
guess what's happening?
The bombs are dropping.
Yeah.
So the other guys
are fucking loose.
So it's busted.
So this counter strategy
where it's like if you have
characters like Pit
or people that have
fire upwards
in one touch.
Yeah.
Right?
But beyond that
it's fucking
it's horseshit.
But
Cross-Tec-Man!
The legacy lives on.
I'm really curious
if you could kill them
with Kirby's up throw.
The characters listed
were
Pit, Dark Pit,
Mega Man
and
Ness.
I want to try that
with Kirby's up throw.
You think that might do a thing?
Kirby's up throw
does some bullshit
in the other games
because it goes off the screen
and it comes back.
I know but when it's
off the screen in the sky
is it touching you?
Is it a box?
Like if I hit there a B
will I be in a situation
where I can touch them?
Well to begin with
if someone's above you
and you up throw with Kirby
or do you hit them
or is it just the explosion on
the bottom?
Like if Ike's doing his
final smash
they'll get caught
by the final smash.
Okay.
But if there's no actual hit
on the momentum
upwards then.
Anyway.
Put it in the lab.
Yeah.
Do some homework.
Let us know.
And then
we're going to just
what was the last one?
Hold on a minute.
I kind of lost myself.
There's more fighting games
I don't believe it.
No you're right.
That's it.
Well he's
scratching his brain.
That's it.
I was going to kind of say
like hey some fans are
re-making Mario 64 and HD
oh no they're not.
Well now that
that's over with.
Yeah.
No so far it's going.
That was a good ride.
Yeah but hey
now we know about it.
So.
Now it's dead.
Yeah I know I saw that.
I was just like.
We'll keep you guys posted.
Yeah.
And thankfully someone else
caught on because there was
a destructed article that
brought this up and then
the guy that wrote it in the
bottom like kind of comment
said I just had a thought.
You know why don't these guys
just kind of throw it up on a
torrent once it's done.
And then by the time the mess
comes no one can really.
It's too late.
Oh my god.
And it's like.
What a concept.
We figured this out.
I figured this out when I was
like 11 years old.
The first time I fucking saw
the chrono resurrect.
Yeah.
What was that?
When was that?
That was before Bid for Power.
Yeah.
So.
When chrono resurrection died
all I could think of is why
did you tell me why did you
just not continue to work in
silence.
Fucking.
The worst part about
chrono resurrection is
is that that game is finished
and completed.
Allegedly.
Playable.
But they made it for
themselves.
Yeah.
And they have it.
Like the people have to
get like notoriety.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And get famous.
And to repeat the.
Same thing.
Where they needed help.
That's the only exception you
can make is when the team
actually desperately need help.
We need people so we have to
make this public.
Yeah.
And that's fine.
But if you're just doing it
to get people to stare at
your project.
Yeah.
Like the guy.
The guy's doing RE 1.5
like release the whole
like fucking ROM.
And then I know we're going
to fix it.
But.
But they're off the
base of the earth.
We've contacted a third party
to manage this for us
anonymously.
And we're out in
Chile.
Or some shit.
They're on the moon.
And none of us speak English.
And they're.
They're.
They're.
So far off the fucking grid.
The game.
Like that stuff came.
Up.
And then like this.
It's been disappeared for
like a year and a half.
And it'll go back in two more
years.
Whatever.
Working hard in their
shack in the middle of a day.
They know what they're
doing.
If they if you've got a
shack in the middle of the
desert.
And you can send us an email
to tell us how sick it is.
Then you should write into
the super best friend cast.
At gmail.com.
Not the.
The race.
The.
I didn't mean to say the.
I just met.
At gmail.com.
Best friend shack.
The super best friend cast at
gmail.com.
By the way.
Mad.
Like I might have noticed that
this.
That I threw on to the little
racing game we did.
I was just thinking maybe if we
do any other racing games ever
we could.
You know.
Maybe.
Use the word.
Maybe.
Just throw that that word up
there.
Okay.
Right now we're going into a
super letter time turbo because
we've got to go.
So.
We talked about the weather too
much.
We really did.
That's why.
Mike's catheter fix.
Yeah.
Wow.
It's not as bad as Pat's
shitbag though.
I knew it's not.
My blossoming bag that's not
real.
Yeah.
I call it a shitbag.
Okay.
Or my Caprice on
underwear.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Indonesian Bob.
Oh my God.
He has so much.
It's weird.
I don't know.
I don't know.
He has so much.
It's weird.
Because like.
Like your stuff always comes
out the normal list.
So you're like you get
unscathed.
Mike.
You got his.
You got poodle legs and
fucking Pat is just
literally.
I'm a grotesque.
I'm grotesque.
I'm grotesque in a different
way because you have like
shit and piss coming out of
you.
And your little baby is
finger nail.
Yeah.
I just creepy fingernail guy
with.
Eating foods and crawling
and butters.
Whatever you and me are in the
same shot.
It's always the worst because
like we've exaggerated the
proportions on both these
characters to a ludicrous
extreme.
But like my guy is fine and
normal.
But when I talk about something
fucked up like my underwear
is sloshing around like it's a
bag of Capri's son.
So I have a weird thing bolted
to me.
Yeah.
Which I like.
So the first one comes in
from a mysterious person who
sent an email to the wrong
address.
And the very nice lady on the
end of the email that sounds
like ours.
Oh God.
Yeah.
Forded it because she's been
doing this for years.
Like the podcast started.
We got an email address.
People started sending them to
the wrong thing.
And she's just doing this.
And she's so nice.
Appreciate it lady.
Really do.
That being said.
Dude.
I don't have your name.
Why'd you send it to the wrong
one?
Come on.
That's super best friend cast
at gmail.com.
Even though on this very
podcast will he send it
incorrectly.
I know.
But don't do the thing where
you send it to multiple in
case you're not sure which
one.
So go to the website and copy
paste.
So the first one.
Or depending on your mail
client click it.
That too?
Yeah.
Matt this one's directed at
you.
Matt answer the question now.
This person used Netflix.
Okay I have a Netflix related
question for you and you're
the only ones that I know that
use the service a lot.
There's a horror movie that has
this old person eating a kid I
think.
And think of it like a snake
opening its mouth wide open.
Yeah.
The old lady.
What was it?
That is taking of Deborah Morgan.
Yeah.
I saw a clip for that.
I talked about it when we
watched it initially and
because someone on my tumblr
said check this one out and
it's surprisingly good.
Like found footage is usually
90% terrible but the movie is
quite good.
I feel like after that
question people are just
going to start sending us
trivial pursuit questions.
Yeah.
It's possible.
The moops.
That's a trivial pursuit
question.
Yeah.
That being said that scene
sounds pretty terrifying.
Yeah.
No.
It was like it was the
shocker.
Yeah.
Okay.
Yeah.
It's creepy.
Old people.
Dave wants to know you guys
seem to use the term but rock
on occasion when describing
some music.
This is tough.
What is but rock?
It's really simple.
It's just corny ass
unoriginal cheesy rock.
Yeah.
Cheesy rock and roll.
It's rock that anyone could
pull out of their ass.
Exactly.
You know and it's like if it
has vocals then the vocals
are graspy gravelly.
It's a heavy dive.
And they say nothing.
Let it out.
It's a fucking soul bad guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's basically guilty gear
or killer instinct.
But guilty gear is like awesome
but rock.
Yeah.
That's the difference.
It can be cool too.
It can be awesome.
It can be terrible.
But like that it all fits into
the genre because yeah there's
great guilty gear but rock and
then there's totally forgettable
the menus for pick a random
racing game.
Yeah.
Okay.
Sure.
You know what I mean.
Yeah.
ATV.
ATV.
MXX.
Pure.
You know what I mean.
And then whatever you hate.
No.
You know what you know what's
the quintessential but rock.
It is the title track for
Trials.
Trials Evolution.
Yeah.
Yes.
Yeah.
That's what rock.
It's Trials.
It's Trials.
Fall out.
Yeah.
Everything.
Everything.
So yeah.
I remember trying to fall
and like trying to track down
and they were unable to figure it
out.
Like.
Unironically love it.
Yeah.
Me too.
Okay.
It's the fucking worst but
it's really good.
While watching the fight for
New York play through
Willie mentioned that
Eminem's album infinite was
really good and different from
what Eminem usually does.
Do you guys have anything
similar to that where an
artist or someone does
something different from their
usual steeze?
I have something really similar
and I was going to roll
their eyes but Kid Rock's
first album was No Rock.
It was straight up
Country.
filthy gross rap.
Oh wow.
Songs like Yodeling in the
Valley and Put My Balls in
Your Mouth.
All right.
But it was good.
Like in the sense that it was
like butt rap.
Right?
Yeah.
Okay.
It was straight up the
weirdest beats and this album
came out in 91.
So predating Eminem by quite a
bit.
Yeah.
Kid Rock is like, it makes me
think of what would happen if
Jay from Jay and Silent Bob
became a musician.
Yeah.
That's what fucking Kid Rock
is.
Someone gave Jay a fucking
record deal.
A microphone and a record deal
and got him in a studio.
So that's one that just jumps
out of my mind because every
album after that was just
not bad.
Not bad.
Kid Rock.
My go to, besides the one I
mentioned, is Johnny Cash
doing the covers of Hurt.
Yeah.
And Personal Jesus.
Yeah.
All the band comes around.
That album was produced by
Rick Rubin.
Rick Rubin.
Who did lots of metal action.
Yeah.
And he brought in like covers
for Johnny Cash to do.
Trent Reznor.
And Trent Reznor.
No, it's not my song anymore.
Yeah.
That quote nailed like Trent
Reznor goes like, at first I
was like, that's a corny idea.
I really don't think Johnny
Cash doing it is going to be
anything but a gimmick.
Whoa.
And then I heard it and it's
like, you know when you date a
girl and then like you didn't,
you broke up for reasons that
weren't really problematic,
but you're just like, man,
that's not my girl anymore.
Like Johnny Cash took it.
Yeah.
He fucking destroyed those songs
and the originals don't even
help.
I heard Johnny Cash's version
of Hurt first and then went
back and listened to Reznor
thing.
I like started to laugh.
Exactly.
Exactly.
It's a world of fucking
dance.
And Personal Jesus, you know,
like, I mean, obviously for
me, the marathon.
I don't think that's as big
of a jump, but I like,
but that's a big one to me
because I really like the
Marilyn Manson version.
That was a really great cover
as well.
But Johnny Cash, just out of
the park, out of the galaxy,
out of the stratosphere.
I don't know.
I don't like that to play
smoke.
Why did I do that in the reverse
order?
That was stupid.
People are going to get really
fucking mad at me for this one.
St. Anger is the best.
Oh, no.
It's like, I'm in the past.
That's great as well.
Oh God, don't even shut up.
I like this, Pat.
I rightly hate St. Anger.
St. Anger made me hate music.
You could say you're quite angry.
St. Anger was the first CD I
ever purchased legitimately with
my own money.
Because I really like the stars.
I really liked Metallica.
And Metallica was beating the
anti-Napster drum super hard.
So I said, I'm going to go buy
St. Anger with my own money and
support them.
And then that was the moment
that I stopped caring about
music.
Because they betrayed me.
No one's ever been more wrong in
their life than I was to buy
St. Anger with money.
Wow.
Woolly, Woolly.
My first CD, Big Shiny Toons.
Two.
Of course you did.
I mean, it was five.
Wow.
I've been in the past.
God, I'm trying to remember.
You know, that shit goes to
like, yeah, it was either
Weird Owl's Bad Hair Day
or The Lion King.
Yeah, those are good picks.
One of those things.
So your original things.
Yeah, I've said in the past
that I really like Daft Punk.
But there's a problem with that in
that I fucking hate most of their
albums.
I hate homework.
You hate homework.
I fucking hate homework.
What's the human after all?
You like discovery.
Everyone likes discovery.
I love discovery and I like
being alive.
Yeah, you don't like random access
memories.
I don't like random access memories.
Oh, because you're one of those
people.
I just don't care for it.
I don't think it's bad.
I don't hate it like I hate
homework.
But you don't like the
reference to classic stuff.
You just want the electronic
stuff.
No, and what's the
new fucking album they put out?
Random...
I was thinking of the Tron
soundtrack.
Holy shit.
Yeah, whose their albums?
Tron Soundtrack's Alright
and Random Access Memories
is Fine.
I still rotate the Tron
soundtrack.
But I think that fucking
homework is a fucking pile of
shit and the discovery's the
greatest album of all time.
Your tastes are just not
refined to pass.
So, yeah, whatever, man.
As I adjust my hearing
sounds, you're so fucking
boring.
The homework is just a boring
fucking album.
I'm not going to...
Look, they're not bad, but I
am going to say that their
other albums are better
by far.
But, yeah, I hear you.
This is like...
Liam, do you have any...
Music, I don't know.
Artists outside of their...
I don't know about music, but
like...
Even if it's JRPG music.
I really like the
World Ends With You.
Yeah, that's a good soundtrack.
I really don't like Kingdom Hearts.
But do you have any...
Really?
Don't like the Kingdom House
soundtrack?
Not really.
It's really good.
Oh, the games.
Like, if we're just talking
about liking something that
someone made that is out of
their normal...
Out of their wheelhouse.
Because the mirror is just
like...
Well, I was going to say
the gaming equivalent for you,
if you don't have like an
artist, is like a composer
who did a type of...
Yeah, I don't know.
I don't listen to much music.
No, Liam told me that he finds
a Lamb of God's third album.
It was not nearly as good
as their first one.
It was really surprising.
It kind of...
Or...
Cattable Corpse...
Yeah.
He jumped off.
That review he did of Three
Doors Down blows me away.
No, I like finding the harshest
core like, you know...
Of course.
For Liam.
Yeah, okay.
No, no, no.
Mastodon just...
Mastodon sounds too weak, man.
What?
I like all the songs that are...
Like, that baby metal does,
except for the ones that are
metal, because that's too much.
Dude, there's this band called
Sex.
Is metal just your music
equivalent of gigantic asses?
No, cause I like a lot of it,
but like, baby metal's metal
is fucking awful, I find.
Who's your favorite rapper?
Kendrick Lamar.
Why?
Poolside Identity.
Like, I can name...
That's a solid fucking track.
I think I can name four rappers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And one of them is...
Okay, just start...
Yeah.
Just say little and big.
And then a random name.
And then a random...
Pick a letter.
Pick a letter you'll do better.
Z.
Mmm, maybe not.
Yeah, so they chose a hard one.
Dr. K.
Dr. K, it probably exists.
I don't think any of those
rap doctors are real doctors.
But the basketball doctors are.
They're real.
Absolutely.
Okay, we got one from...
I forgot about basketball doctors.
I didn't forget about that.
That's the weirdest thing in the world.
Will wants to know what game series
needs to be played on a handheld.
Ooh, well, Liam.
Phoenix Wright.
This is for you.
Phoenix Wright.
I think...
Yeah, well, that one actually needs to...
Bucktie's a good one.
It's legit.
That's an answer.
Warrior Wear Twisted.
Warrior Wear Twisted.
Yoshi, the Yoshi one
where you have to spin it around as well.
Touch and go.
Touch and go, as that was called.
Kirby Tilt and Tumble.
If the world ends with you.
Metroid Prime Pinball.
The world ends with you is like
unplayable without a touch.
I think we're being way too literal,
but that's what you get.
I would say those are correct answers.
I would say Ridiculous Fishing.
Yeah, Ridiculous Fishing.
I think if you play Ridiculous Fishing
with anything other than touch controls,
you would be rocking it.
Anything that...
Yeah, anything that properly does touch controls.
No, you can play that on...
No, you can't.
You can play...
No, you can play EBA on PC.
You absolutely can play with a mouse.
With a mouse.
You totally can.
Wouldn't be as fun.
But like a lot of stuff that
properly does touch controls,
I think you'd miss out if you're using a mouse.
I actively dislike touch controls,
but every now and then,
when it hits it, it hits it.
Ghost Trick.
Yeah, Ghost Trick's excellent.
That said, I think there's a lot of genres
that are arguably better on handhelds,
fighting games, first person shooters.
Well, no.
Yeah, not those.
Street Fighter 4 sales say other ones.
I think arguably visual novels.
I would say visual novels for sure.
Tactical RPGs.
That's why I said Phoenix Wright.
I wouldn't say tactical RPGs are better.
I'd say they're more at home somehow.
But just having that suspend feature,
there's something about it.
Maybe it's just like FFTA and Fire Emblem
were so strong that it kind of roots them there.
If only RenP could export to Kindle.
Yeah, if only.
There you go.
The Kindle tablets are on Android,
so you totally could.
You theoretically could.
Puzzle Kingdom, in general,
are also feel at home on handheld.
Anything that you pick up and play
for like 12 seconds works really well on a handheld.
Even like Resonable the Mercenaries,
which is like a really...
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like that arcade experience works well on a handheld.
But you know, in a weird reverse way.
I really didn't enjoy playing Tetris Attack
and its handheld variations
compared to sitting on it with the TV.
But then Tetris D, yeah.
Playing as a specs controller.
But Tetris D, yes.
But Tetris Attack's a different game.
That's true, yeah.
Yeah, fair enough.
There you go.
There's your literal answers.
Boktai's a fucking good example, huh?
Boktai and Yoshi Warrior were twisted.
Yeah.
So this guy's complaining.
I played that on my gamecube.
Sean has a problem because...
One's your problem, Sean.
His problem is that he's been getting into fighting games recently.
That's a problem.
But because one of his friends is a tight-moon fanboy,
all he ever wants to do is play Melty Blood.
So how do I convince him to play other games?
Play someone else.
Guess what? Exactly.
It sounds like your friend is not into fighters,
and that's fine.
He really just likes Tsukihime.
That's okay.
Stop trying to force him to play other games.
You got into them recently as well.
There's no solutions.
There's no solutions.
Find someone else to play fighters with.
That's all I got for you.
If he's saying he tried and all he wants is Melty Blood,
then he's not playing Melty Blood for the fucking frame traps and options.
If the guy knows about Melty Blood, he knows about Blaze Blue.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
There's no path to this obscure, like, anime fighting game that doesn't go through.
You can go further into that direction and play the Fate Stay Night Fighter,
or you can play...
They're not very...
No, they're not.
You can play Eternal Fighter Zero, or the Knoll.
You could try to be...
You should try to take the wrong path, which is download Tsukihime and an English path,
patch and see if you like it.
But that's not the wrong path.
That's not the way you should go.
Now is as good as time as any.
You want to get him started on that Sango Fighter.
You got to get him young.
You got to get him young.
Yeah, because you need to be like 30 to know what Sango Fighter is.
I don't know.
Force him to come to your place and play Guilty Game.
You can't force anyone to like fighting games.
Or...
No, I think the answer is give up.
Give up.
That's what I mean.
You can't force anyone to like something.
Yeah, and that's fine.
Just give up.
Just get better friends.
Yeah.
Sacrifice him for more time.
This one's going to take some time.
I'm skipping this.
Put it on the thing for next week, and then forget about it.
Would a Dark Souls novel ruin everything?
Yes.
Says Renee?
Absolutely.
Of course it would.
Assuredly.
It's just about Artorias.
No, the Dark Souls novel has to be nothing but blank pages that are sticky, and then
you win pieces of the story.
You win paragraphs in the story in a cereal box contest, and there isn't enough to fill
the book.
You have to go in a cross country journey to find exactly like fucking Monopoly pieces
of McDonald's.
The only thing that can help Dark Souls is if you should win things by blank.
I don't know why that's getting here.
I forgot that, man.
Dude, there are corners that just slay me that I don't know of until you touch the right
one.
The fucking Well I'm Outta Here Homer line.
I can't handle that clip.
It fucking destroyed me.
Okay, the short version of this one is this.
I'm going to simplify it.
He's basically asking about, like, he's like, I don't know Street Fighter lore, and so
he asks a big thing about that, but the basis of it is like we got really excited when we
heard Ryu say Dengen, and he's like, I have no idea what that means.
And so all that is without getting into a big Street Fighter lore discussion is Dengen
Hadoken is a move that Ryu uses in Street Fighter III 3rd Strike.
He uses it in the future.
Yeah, and that's the only series that he has that move in.
Therefore.
When we see him do it in Street Fighter V, it makes us think the timeline is going to
be in the future around or after five, ten years, which is exciting because we want to
see time move forward because we want to see characters that exist in that timeline.
That's all that means.
So you hear him say the word Dengen instead of Metsu, and you're like, oh, cool.
Yeah.
Now, the only time that would be bad is if they go, no, this is still not Street Fighter III.
It's before.
He just developed them.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
That would be garbage.
Well, he physically looks older.
Also, new generation wasn't real.
Yeah.
Right?
It's giant attack is real and third strike is real.
That's it.
Yeah.
But Alpha, Alpha II and Alpha III are all real.
Yeah.
That's why I charge the dice three times.
I guess wouldn't it be hilarious?
No, Alpha I never happened.
It's always, it's always, it's the last time.
It's the last time.
Does that mean Street Fighter IV vanilla didn't happen?
The second game is the actual tournament, and the third game is everyone wandering around
doing nothing.
After the tournament.
Wouldn't it be great if Charlie dies in the five story mode?
Amazing.
Wouldn't that be fucking great?
I didn't want to know if we've seen Seha Girls.
Yeah, we do.
Seha Girls is awesome.
Seha Girls is awesome.
Did you guys watch any more?
No.
Just the one you made us.
Dude, I lost my shit when they played the Streets of Rage intro sequence.
Oh, God.
Okay, hold it.
In the finale.
Watch it right after the play.
But it's not like a full rage episode, is it?
No, no.
But in the finale, they have that intro sequence.
I lost my shit.
Okay.
The series is good, but like the border break and the chain chronicle episodes are a bit
removed because they're like, chain chronicle just came out here, but they're kind of Japan
only games.
Yeah, so you don't have to watch.
There's something else to watch right after this as well.
Do you remember what it was?
No, it's gone.
Shit.
There's another thing we were talking about earlier.
Like, God, you've got to see this right after.
But oh well.
Yeah.
It's gone to the ether now.
Good series, though.
Yeah.
Okay.
We got one coming in from Alfonso and...
Yo, Alfie.
Alfie says, what do you think of final boss battles that introduce a new gameplay mechanic
or element at the last minute of the game?
Those are the best.
For example, in Yoshi's Island, they start throwing out your Bowser.
When they're successful, I think.
And Shantae does something similar as well.
It's fucking transistor.
Transistors got a good one, man.
Oh really?
There's another one.
Transistors is really good because it just smacks you in the face and you know what's
happening.
But I have a very important stipulation on it.
What's that?
It's got to be good?
It's got to be good.
Yeah.
It's got to have really good plot significance.
If it's a mechanic that would have worked earlier on in the game, but you just saved
it for the end of the day.
You need to have a really good reason that you held it back.
But if you do a thing like Vanquish or Super Metroid, where it's like it is pure lore mechanics
that are coming out right now.
And Vanquish is probably...
That is the highest shit ever.
Vanquish?
Metroid Fusion.
Those are your 11 on 10 moments in almost every situation we refer to.
Metroid Fusion and Zone of the Enders, the second runner.
It's not quite the final boss in the second runner, but it's the acquisition of the zero
shift mechanic at the very end of the game where that game just becomes fantasy.
Not really a mechanic.
The high speed becomes even higher speed.
Yeah.
High speed or robotics?
It's a mechanic, but in Wonderful 101, when you start controlling 100 mechs instead of
100 people.
That's what I meant.
That's what I meant.
Every time I think of these moments, I think that is the ingredient that makes an 11 on
10 moment.
Of course.
But it can't be something that you should have done earlier.
It's got to be lore mechanics.
It's not the final boss, but the fight in Mission 19 of Deadline Cry 3 in which you are given
the second player over me that will mimic your moves and double your movements.
That shit is so good.
Can you believe you could plug in a second controller and play it?
It's an honor.
That's a thing.
Levels of like, just love.
Like someone walked by a programmer's desk one day and just tilted his head.
And then spent a fucking week and a half there.
That was it.
So good.
Yeah.
We love those things.
Deadline Cry 3 Special Edition.
One of the best games ever.
You should play it.
I love those things.
Everything we just dropped.
Everything we just named dropped.
And yeah, Yoshi's Island is a pretty good one too.
The best ones are always, and I think Vanquish and Zoe do it the best, is where it's the
natural culmination of your over the entirety of the game rivalry.
Ends with, okay.
Everything's off.
Everything's gonna go.
But the other version of that, again, is super Metroid where it's like the really subtle
plot point becomes something critical.
The final battle with Bowser in 3D World.
Oh.
Where you get the chairs.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That one's pretty good.
That's not exactly as climactic as the others, but it's pretty cool.
I feel disappointed because I know we know a lot.
We know a lot.
We're quiet because I'm trying to get something.
This question can go on forever.
It's a specific thing.
We know there's stuff there.
I want it to go on forever.
Because when I think of it, I'm like almost every game we really, really love probably
has similar elements to it.
Because a game that is already good that then just does something like unheard of.
That flips the design on its head is awesome.
Vanquish is, I think Vanquish is the best.
I think, just in terms of like, feel.
Yeah.
Well, the deal with Vanquish, and I don't want to spoil this because the ending of Vanquish
is so strong.
Well, the gameplay ending.
The gameplay.
Exactly.
And it's not, it's quite terrible.
It's not a story.
That game is about, your suit has limits.
It's about pushing that suit to its absolute fucking limits.
That's why there's an achievement for getting a perfect pixel boost.
You are zipping around.
You are a god amongst these robots.
And when you do push it to the limit, the suit freaks the fuck out.
And burns out.
And over the game, you learn speed.
As you play the game, it's like, you're overpowered.
You're way overpowered for that game.
But you get to learn how to use that overpoweredness.
By the time you get to the end of that game, you are a demon.
You are kicking ass up and down the fucking street.
And if they gave you the abilities you had in the final boss fight at the beginning of
the game, that game would actually be unplayable.
You would not have the physical ability as the player to control your character.
By the time you get there, it says, hey man, you need a little extra.
You go give me it all.
And you instantly, within one second, are able to go to the utter maximum.
It's so amazing.
Dude, it's the weighted clothing.
The mechanics of all these games is the weighted clothing.
And everyone loves that feeling.
Because, oh man, can you stretch?
You know who loves that fucking breathe?
You know who loves that feeling?
Sendo Takashi from Hajime no Hippo.
You should watch this.
And Rock Lee.
Literally has weights on his legs to improve his dash.
And Piccolo.
Yeah, Piccolo.
Piccolo started it, right?
Yeah, everyone.
My clothes weigh a ton.
What?
No, Piccolo didn't start it.
I'm sure some old ass manga.
Riel Purcell.
You know, fucking Iron Fist Chimney.
Iron Fist Chimney probably started it.
Masayama, why are your clothes so heavy?
So I can punch this bull to death even harder.
Yeah.
You know he was Korean.
Masayama's Korean?
He's not even Japanese, man.
He's like a national Japanese hero.
I know.
That's awesome.
That's super great.
Let's close it out, because we ran super long.
I don't worry about it.
People like long podcasts.
But our bandwidth server doesn't.
Ah, fuck, you're right.
So, what is coming up on the site?
And what are we watching?
I did.
Okay, so rule of rules will end this week.
Yes.
We beat it?
Yeah.
We have to beat it again.
I agree.
Well, Lee and I did a really fun one-off.
That is just, it's undescribable,
so I'm not going to bother.
Your wife will visit you in the hospital.
That thing that all four of us did the other day,
is that going up this week?
That takes me some extra time.
Yeah, of course.
We're doing a Let's Watch of something,
but I have to subtitle the entire movie myself.
Something near and dear to our hearts.
It's going to take a little bit.
Okay.
I think he's okay with it.
Yeah.
I'm very okay.
He has to rise to the occasion.
I hope I can tackle this problem.
Yes, you guys have done shit.
You just fell off.
Lee, we talked about it last week.
Is the timing such that me and Liam's thing
is going to go up this week?
No, it's not going to make it up this week.
I don't think it's going to make it up this week.
But you and that thing will.
The thing that you tried to hide,
but then realized you would explicitly said,
this is the game of thrones,
is going to start this week,
and then once that wraps,
something nice and new is coming for you guys
from Liam and Pat.
Well, it's not quite new.
It's actually super touching.
You guys are surprisingly old,
that you guys are fresh on this.
Yeah, we were sitting around going like,
hey, have you ever played this?
He goes, no, I never played it either.
And then we're both sitting there kind of blaming each other.
How did you not play this?
Why didn't you play that game?
And now you're going to have to go back
and listen to this podcast after it happens.
But now it makes so much sense
every time you guys are talking about
the future versions of that
that I didn't touch.
Don't you want the thing that came before?
Because we don't touch the things.
There you go.
So that's what, yeah.
We've got stuff on the watch, I guess.
I'm going to be watching
Game of Thrones on my Kindle.
I'm going to give it another go.
Me trying.
Oh, I bought the
Humble Bundle AGDQ
thing.
That's a pretty good sale.
And they thrown a lot of shit with it.
Replay Exoticie.
I want to play
Volgar.
I specifically
I'm going to go out and buy
Escape Goat 2 on my PS4.
Which is in that bundle.
You can get it on the bundle.
I don't want to play it on my PC.
After you play Volgar,
you should play something
that's really easy for babies
like Dark Souls or something.
Because after you play Volgar,
it's fucking hard.
I will confirm that
that's correct.
Volgar is for
fucking huge, awesome people
that
Dark Souls is for babies by comparison.
Volgar is really hard.
You get what we're saying.
Volgar is difficult.
Also,
I've been not talking about it
because I was going to wait until it's actually available.
If you have an Xbox One
D4 is fucking free.
Buy D4 for free.
If you've got gold.
If games are gold and just like support it.
Someone at Microsoft wants to know
what the ending is.
Microsoft would like to know.
Those fencers like this is on games on gold
for the next year.
I need to know what that is to do.
And what I'm watching specifically is like
maybe tonight, maybe after all wrapped up
or this week I'd like to finally sit down
and watch Boyhood.
I'm going to buy off of Amazon
and Amazon told me to go fuck myself.
It's now available like on Xbox video
and all that shit.
You see it available in Canada
but then you put it in your cart
and then your cart says no.
For those that are unaware
I think they got it at Pirate Bay.
Oh, no, they don't.
Pirate Bay's dead.
By a local other
competing team
it probably might happen.
We tried the invitation joint though.
Not everyone can get into that store.
Swanky. Not to go into Boyhood is the movie
where it's like someone said
we need to level up movie making
to an insane degree.
And who steps up to the challenge
but Richard fucking Link later.
Because apparently
waking life was easy mode.
I really, really hope
there was another guy with the exact same movie
who was a year away from announcing it.
Oh, yeah.
Nothing.
What I was saying to my government
when we were talking about the concept of this
which is they literally filmed a boy's childhood
and made him
but he was an actor in this movie
for his entire childhood.
Every year they would just film a bit of the movie.
And that's him growing up in real time.
And I was just like
this movie
really, really can't suck.
It's 99%
forever on Rotten To Me.
It's still at 99%.
Because what if it sucks?
What if you give it to the guy
that was editing for Ridley Scott?
You know what I mean?
What if you just botch it
at the last second in the editing room?
I imagine that in a concept like this
the amount of footage that you have
at the end of the day is so massive
that you can make any god damn movie
you want out of this.
So the potential of it being bad
is nil.
If you have enough editors and enough directing
you could make anything.
Let's just do it again.
There's probably like
five fully completed versions
with different cuts.
This is him during his gothic phase.
So you know what?
Matt, if you can figure out
how to watch that in Canada.
It's on Xbox video.
I said that earlier.
Then I guess I don't have to head down
to my local competing chain
It'll take a couple weeks for the
Hydra to grow two more heads.
God, I want some garlic bread.
I thought
I smelled garlic bread
and then I realized it wasn't
and then I was like, I want garlic bread.
I smell it too.
But that chain does carry the wire right here.
That'd be convenient.
Let's see what we can fucking
I would know I don't go to those chains.
Never.
Never.
If I give you my money and you don't want to take it from me,
then fuck you, I'm stealing it.
No, you're not stealing.
It's not theft.
If they're not providing a new region,
it's fucking free. Go for it.
God, so fucking vexed.
All right, we're done.
All the Russian people listening to this podcast
are like, yes.
They know the deal.
See you people.
Bye.
Bye.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.