Castle Super Beast - SBFC 232: Get Ready For The Next Chad
Episode Date: February 6, 2018Download for Mobile | Preview Video Rumours of Microsoft buying EA. Rumours of Anthem being Bioware's last stand. Rumours of Star Wars mini buys. Childish Landino. Tales from the office trenches. Yo...u can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/superbestfriendsplay Outro: Dragon Ball FighterZ OST - Trunks's Theme Sony president and CEO Kazuo Hirai steps down Red Dead Redemption 2 launches October 26 Former Rare developers announce beat ‘em up Raging Justice for PS4, Xbox One, Switch, and PC Sony patent suggests new PlayStation VR controller Report suggests BioWare's Anthem has been delayed until 2019 Metroidvania roguelite Dead Cells coming to Nintendo Switch, PS4, Xbox One Banner Saga 3 settles into a summer 2018 release Tekken Mobile launching this month, military bro 'Rodeo' revealed That Han Solo movie finally got a teaser Donnie Yen to play "Wei Shen mother fucker, who are you?" THE CLOVERFIELD PARADOX Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom - Official Trailer #2 [HD]
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That that that's that's us going live right there
Yeah, so you're supposed to write as right as the clicky click right. Yeah
So here we go. What's up? Speaking of clicky sandwich clicky clicks. Yeah, you got we brought
that with you right now. Okay. That has his hands full of you have to right now. All right.
All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. So Matt is handing me the Atari
standard controller right here. And this is unwieldy. Yes. This is how you like in their
shoulder buttons like the world before ergonomic was a term that we would use
Super Nintendo controller at the time was ergonomic. There's no shoulder buttons.
There's they're not. I know I feel like there should be because we're supposed to your fingers
supposed to go on the top like it's like I can't I have to it's hard to explain it. So I mean this
is a visual and it sucks but it's like my normal resting hands are like let's see they're here
right which is basically away from where the d-pad is and away from where the buttons are
and to do either of these things I have to reach over really far into the controller
to press these buttons and that's and that's my giant manhands I have. Oh also I remember there
will be fighting games that have attacks on the numerical keypad that's not a there is a fighting
game that's like no punch there pressing the zero button is like the maximum of my my thumbs
length while also like hurting my bones yeah to reach into it so rocky the real rocky wow came over
and I said here you go and I go this is the worst like default controller for a majorish console
I think in the world and he goes yeah it's pretty bad but then he said something similar to like
what one of you said is like but there was a controller I remember that had like a weird
dial and then a bunch of numbers below which I think was the in television or whatever we talked
about last time and I'm like that was he's like I just have a vague memory of as a kid just being
no this is the worst but this is really bad this is this is unbelievably terrible because
unlike the in television or whatever console that was those were basic games this had like
fighting games this had like doom nothing here it's so weird because nothing here is placed in a
way where a hand would naturally rest it's like maybe a horse can use it you know nothing about
this is showing you like like like this is where the default hand would rest on this and smaller
hands are fucked also like it's so kind of big but it's like hollow yeah you know yeah it's it
actually is is surprisingly light for the for the size of it wow jaguar well you had you had a name
and a logo so there's that um I want to get hands on but I got to wash my hands because I don't want
my dirty disease on nom nom yeah it's a good sandwich man yeah it is all right we never said
anything about it we don't care that's fine um remember right before we started the podcast
you were talking mad shit about that sandwich I don't uh so hey you know what we should my
my thing is all fucked up I gotta lean on it's hey we all right that's this is fine this is more
than fine I'm rapping with the kids and whatnot let me touch the the horrible yeah I need it all
right get it over only you have to touch it again to get it to me yeah Pat does it whoa I almost died
you're okay thankfully just passing the controller across the table almost killed Matt
it was worth it though all right here you go give me the cord too yeah all of it all up in there
oh my god yeah yeah that's that's what we're dealing with this really does feel like it's
had shoulder buttons but yeah it doesn't hold it up hold it up in a way so that like you can yeah
I want to see where your thumbs are in relative position to like so I can get the buttons but
they're splayed wrong they're going really hard diagonal I did I did it's not a d-pad it's not
it's a it's a it's a disc it's a disc it's like the the a shittier version of what the original
360 controller had yeah I think so but like the bottom ones are just unreachable and they're
horrible like plastic phone nubs yeah I hate it uh this is an extremely hateable controller
I uh I'll can you help me by getting the wire no okay I want to like review the jaguar where I
never play any games on it because that's not the point I just because it's the cheapest
console like the the entire console feels like this it feels hollow and cheap and plastic yeah it
feels like an uya uya actually felt like the total opposite of that it's like a weird brick
metallic cube like the uya feels really heavy oh oh my god but the uya that comic out from under
there that's the problem that might be helping but the uya actually yeah maybe maybe move that
comic I can't see it the uya actually had a smaller controller here I mean the atmosphere of the uya
you know like yeah fine fine uh anyway this this struggle woolly is having with this camera
that is not gonna stay I've never gotten this camera stand it's fine it's so top loaded yeah
cameras on and on it gets thinner and thinner as it goes down like it's like a nail mp3 files
don't have cameras what are you talking about woolly you just held up a controller to a camera
and said look at this look at it I didn't do anything yeah I am a sound fight in an mp3 file
oh he's backing even further away playing into your ears this is not even me we're not even real
people this is just like a recording of a sound would you say we are something of a robotic
simulacrum at this current time sure even if you're catching this live you're not really watching us
you're watching like pixels you know it always blew on a monitor when you'd watch like a live
like hockey game or like a live wrestling show and then you're like wait a second is this actually
several minutes behind because of the way broadcast works probably it's it is well raw yeah
it was raw was they would delay that in case someone took their titties out like the rocker yeah
rocked put those titties away wait we talked about this remember there's a time where the
rock wore a shirt to the ring to fight like for three months that's a bad idea surgery oh is that
why you got peck implants or something oh put your shirt on and go do diehard again you gotta
delay raw in case hmo's are evil or that uh so i mean like the before we even get into any any of
that because i'm assuming you guys saw that what the rock fucking doing diehard i did no oh he's
got a nice scraper he's doing oh i saw the para parabolic yeah diagram of that poster but i didn't
see he's climbing nakatomi plaza oh it's really like they're like being from one thing and they're
like what do we can we what do we do to make this not so diehard rock hard uh that's a that's the
wrong type of movie take the he's got he's missing a leg parody is called is he missing a leg he's
missing a leg kater stillman climbing a fucking well that is a one-upping of diehard for not having
functional he's terry foxing it yeah that's cool so he's like a cyborg basically gonna get an oscar
for that um we should probably probably say thank you for 700 000 subscribers hey
oh for the youtube channel yes i thought you meant for the podcast i'm like wow the podcast
is wow that's crazy no hey hey thanks everybody who's subbed including what is likely 18 to 25
000 chinese robots possibly uh thanks to you robots who's to say but either way um we appreciate it
greatly well because i didn't want to be all celebrative because remember every time we would
get like set it over a number youtube would roll out some bullshit oh yeah hey we're deleting a
bunch of fake accounts it just happens for sure knock your shit down yeah but hey but it felt like
it might be nice to just tell people also the blaze blue video also helped dramatically
definitely yes yes obviously but uh but blaze community also the sandbagging of catwoman
is also of course contributed to these subs but but either way the the we're just talking about
that change today that youtube made so our videos will be even harder to find from now on the glacial
and steady pace i wouldn't call it glacial i would 100 000 every every youtube pr guy i've ever
talked about described as great every one of our youtube friends is like guys why am i passing you
right now like there's max mother's basement all running half a window printing takahata and crew
are like what get in losers yeah and we're like now we'll just we're going subbing hey man that
turtle won that race in the end and then the fox died because he wouldn't make work like the ants
i may have and and then the scorpion stung the frog and everybody drowned the nuts the nuts the
nuts that the thing kept that one that's the thing the kept because the other guy didn't want to
work hard yeah that's the ants right and then the i think there's a similar one with the bear
slept all winter and then he came out and killed whoever that's the moral of the story and little
yeah so that's man big ups to thomas to make in that video the world's first dog-based halo
jump uh if you haven't seen it on twitter uh trongasm aka mom made just gotta click it
hey it took footage of the littlest hobo from last week and just overlaid the audio of a snake
eater and it was oh man that just yeah that just completely perfectly matches up i didn't see the
video but i'm like yes of course it was beautiful move to the back and as soon as he lands drop off
in 10 seconds as soon as the dog like pa as soon as pa's touch ground a game by hideo could you
if only littlest hobo was looking down yeah the badass dog pose and then look this little doggy
gas mask and then it's ridin yeah i think we'll actually get to have that moment with uh with
that stranding like the the the fucking the the cool like hero shot he's gonna have he's gonna have
maybe one nod right because you have to but i i can see him being like that's behind me
i worry that the game is gonna be too much like metal here i'm i'm gonna i'm worried that it's
not gonna be enough no no no no no no no i feel like there's a very small chance of that because
you have to remember this guy's been trying to break out of that franchise yeah why would you go
and when in the last time he did he made the most the weirdest stupid handheld game ever
he's really trying to get away from it i now the last one was lunar nights which wasn't really
a bit bucked i was like i i don't know if he's talked about the concept uh and in terms of where
it came from and and such but i in my head he must have been thinking about this for like 15 years
yeah probably like think so you know what i mean and like we know any like when you uh have one of
those ideas stirring in your head for 15 years you basically got a game of thrones it in your head
along the way and i don't know what that means what do you mean game of you mean you mean you
world build and you just don't finish it you world build to the point of absurdity and then
you choose a slice to represent the plot that you want to tell um but there's so much living and
breathing in your head about this world because you've been in it for over a decade um that
like the moment you kind of go like but like i'm sure there's like an abundance of ideas for
gameplay and he's just kind of like picking out of this giant you know wiki bubble in his head
because again you've been world building for that long and when it's a game you also have to kind
of think of something that's like possible yeah of course because you're writing you can write
whatever complete speculation he could have just bullshitted and came up with the idea last year
but i i i imagine this is the case because we know he wanted mgs2 to be his last mgs every single
metal gear game like starting with sense of liberty every game starting with sense of liberty
ends with a final ending that has like a big speech to carry the series off and then it's like
that's weird because metal gear 2 just ends so like the means there has to be a sequel right
but like let's say he's like well that's it solid though yeah solid too that's it for me though
like i'm done the last time he did that then they made snakes revenge with a team that had barely
worked on the first two games he was like i have to fucking yeah fix this god damn out of retirement
god damn it yeah so no no for sure but uh either way i i i have a lot of confidence that like
his pent-up ideas are gonna come bursting forth splooging spewing yeah yeah glopping perhaps even
because he's had so long to think about it that's what i say i don't advocate the use of glopping
you wouldn't now ropy streams yes glopping ropes that's just a loot you can count ropes that's
true yeah ropy ideas just shoot out a bunch of ideas and see what sticks where they stay
where they stay they all stick where do you want my ideas to go one of the all right on top of the
tv okay there you go i don't know all right i'm very disappointed uh oh jaguar then to ropy ideas
no jaguar then to littles tow boat then to death strandy yep hey strands how about that
so anyway um oh there there was a there was a there was a football this weekend what and during
the football there was a lot of trailers for stuff yeah so uh a whole lot of what we talk about
should probably be about some of that there's some stuff there there's some stuff we're talking about
there a football you but uh but first before the football uh there was a week oh oh and in it
things occurred oh so hey man let's start with what happened hey man i'm looking across the table
at you i passed that jaguar controller are you wearing your own shirt no i'm wearing stop skeletons
from fighting okay what's wrong with your shirt i'm wearing in my own shirt that's cool no it's
cool oh my god i thought i thought i was gonna get let's get sorry woolly versus shirt no i was
i was gonna i was gonna say why you covering it up fucking let's you know like yeah i don't know
stups talks about his best shirt yeah available on the internet um yeah no i passed the the jaguar
shoulder to rocky because he came over and streamed a bunch of n64 games with me and not any good ones
really he was like uh my cousin has smashed so he can't play smash but i brought mario 64 though
nice and he hands me the cartridges and i'm like why is this the japanese version oh because i have
the japanese version do you not have a japanese n64 no no i don't he's like oh well i do but i thought
you did i guess i just thought you might have one but he's like do you have any pliers to cut off
grab the screwdriver i'm like and we looked i'm like not one's powerful enough because we can just
yeah and he's like okay i guess we won't play mario 64 i'm like do you have perfect dark he's like no
neither do i all right wow well thought out nukem zero hour and flying dragon it is
yeah uh but no we played we saw a golden sd mode uh we actually did not do sd mode we did like
real it realism mode you know what that that held up that wasn't too bad i was like expecting
way way worse no i was like whoa that's i mean it's a it's a faster it's like kind of a meld of
tecan and virtual fighter but it was fast i remember it being like just nukem zero hour
yeah third person shooter hmm you played the multiplayer that was bad okay never mind that
the first the person part of i thought i thought you were saying flying dragon held up and i was
like what yes oh wow that's what you're saying oh yeah i said mix of virtual okay not a man do
nukem yeah well look is good then you jumped in he jumped over at that and i was like what no flying
dragon was okay we're having two conversations here all right so flying dragon from to me was hot
ass in the caliber of gas fighters next stream but but but what you're saying is it played a little
bit tighter than that yes okay the realism mode at least i don't know if sd was any worse because i
feel as if like in my head i kind of had tears right and there was like i thought he meant like
in your eyes no no no in like in like in bad n64 fighters there's tears and i think there's an
upper echelon that is like mace and dark rift you know those are like amongst the less of the
least shit and then you get into the muck and and flying dragon and and gas fighters next stream
and dual heroes uh destiny that's upper tier fighters destiny is absolutely i would say this
was below fighters destiny above a lot of others fighters destiny is almost like it's all it's not
fair no it's not no because fighters destiny is actually good yeah that doesn't count you can't
put that in that but it's still fighting no it's still it's those in n64 fighter anyway uh i held
up on goal and i pretty well i just assume rocky would destroy me but it did really well but he was
like well you know we don't smash here so i destroy you smash i'm like yeah you probably would but
that was still really fun uh i played a bit more celeste really glad i got slow beef on
celeste he had no idea what it was i saw that um and i always like it like hey slow beef play this
game now hey slow beef play this game now hey slow beef play a barbarian fine okay he plays it and
i see the video gets uploaded it's like 45 minutes i'm like oh yeah yeah he didn't like that yeah yeah
but uh when uh celeste went up i saw like two hours and i was like yeah he likes it i
and he played iconoclast too a lot of great indie games coming out i mean iconoclast has been in the
oven for fucking ever like every other indie game seven years is the name is the metric after noi
to love to devolution but owl boy was like five years and celeste even goes back like the celeste
was like a prototype game from like 10 years ago or something a game jam so all this stuff
just happens like that but yeah i played a bit more celeste i i got into it and um not sure if
i'll beat that that has like super meat boy style like try these like you finish the game
but try these things if you're crazy yeah try these like two b sides and like all these other
like super tough levels golden eyes interesting because when i think about like when i think about
like perfect dark's better but golden eyes still look good golden eye is no but here's the thing
about it though oh yeah uh and this might just be crazy nostalgia all right i feel like that's a
game where the the controller just felt optimal like that was a game that maybe really like and
get the n64 controller and it's crazy in a way but i also think that that made me associate
the feeling of like a thin like nunchuck with the stick on it with nintendo you know what i mean
like because then they brought it back because i uh i like the middle prong with the stick i get
i i get what you're saying but you didn't you didn't play the the n64 stuff that much you didn't
like it right you didn't like that can i know you never like that controller i well you were always
a sony guy it wasn't even sony it's like i played doom and heretic and all those games on the pc
and moving from click with your right index finger to shoot yeah to to pull with your left index
finger to shoot yeah it that that is the weirdest ever uh i obviously and like even even like i'm
thinking back on like uh quake two for the playstation uh had a playstation one yeah for i
think for the ps1 had like dual analog support of what we would think of now and just like yeah
using your left finger to shoot it was always the weirdest fucking thing in the world to me
i mean i'm you know like prior to that not prior to that but like i'm thinking about like
fps is from early early on like wolfenstein and shit where it's just like okay use your
fucking you know number well there's user there's no movement there's not complicated yeah
yeah um fine but but no but the user keyboard there but anyway i i felt like like as someone
that wasn't playing pc fps's at the time that like gold and i really kind of got me to understand
the controller well i mean it was the first time i can remember 64 is what got me like it came out
and i think it was the first time you could play a shooter on a console and also you could
fucking strafe right you could look and also you could move to the left and right at the same time
right whereas like doom and wolfenstein and that turkey fucking game with the noah that
and the checks game those fucking things the super nintendo ones but you didn't have two
movement controls you had forward and you had turn so you couldn't strafe and in golden eye you
you could absolutely fucking strafe you could use the the c c button c button to properly strafe
i'm not sure if there's any other control schemes on golden eye because it the defaults fine but going
through a bunch of other n64 games it's shocking the amount of other first-person shooters that in
the control schemes there will be like do you like your control scheme shaken yeah so so many we're
like we need to just have how golden eye works i'm good i yeah we just need to have like fuck that
just golden eye people need their control scheme 100 and a lot of time they throw a bit of shade on
them by labeling the golden eye control scheme arcade or sometimes yeah newbies sure sure so
our controls are advanced yeah for large boys and smaller men and well because that was also
the era of like developers basically going hey there's nothing set in stone in terms of like
habits yet so i've designed the optimal controls i think and i think you gamers need to
that shit still happens right i forget i'm imposing it because i know this is better i was so intense
because you because i've been in the room oh yeah you know what i mean it's like no no
they will learn because that still happens i've disciplined they'll learn discipline it is but
there's a game and i think it's like call of duty or something like that that it offers the optional
control scheme called green thumb and it's halo controls and oh yeah i know one it's always called
the chief and the chief is the opposite thing where there's one where it plays like all duty and
it's called like so and it's just like and it's always like two or three deep and they're like
okay we fucking get it you don't want a hundred percent hundred percent and and so fps is got
meld into into the the control scheme based on golden eye yeah and in the halo is the next one
and uh and i was gonna say and then for uh third person games the moment you grabbed ocarina and
just locked on with the z targeting any any game that was it any game like that perspective on the
instances before that came out after ocarina if it didn't have something similar to z targeting it
always was kind of like and even though even the idea of like wait i have to i automatically jump
what is that it's like because you can just design your game around the game where you don't need to
jump until that's crossing a gap right but um i always like to reference it because it's the
one of my favorite visuals in lost odyssey when a memory comes back and you see glass shatter
inside of chimes mind and it's like that's the z targeting moment you know you suddenly you start
strafing around like goma or whatever you know what i mean like whatever in that first part and then
you're like oh my god it doesn't have to be two sets of camera controls there was a really abysmal
time right after ocarina time came out where it would it took too long to copy yeah and every
game released in that like two year period everyone's just like oh why can't i see target oh my god and
this is like more to do with things that had like a bit of involved combat i feel like a
platformer it's like you didn't necessarily need you're just jumping on things or you have this
wide of course but it's like anything that had a lot of combat options like you had to fight an
enemy like back and forth a little bit it's like yeah and of course if it's a game where your gun
play is what you're focused on then like z target something like z targeting takes the challenge away
so obviously i can see how that's not a design choice you might want to consider because you always
are gonna hit a mark right i'm talking about like games where you're looking at something and then
you have to run up to it and swing on it you know like hand to hand anything that's where it's lock
on is of yeah like it's completely beneficial with no downsides this was a good moment where
i'm like rocky i have to go get a drink play this and i slap a cartridge and he's like okay what is
and he's like uh all right die katana what is this i'm like what do you mean i'm yelling what is
what do you mean what is it what's die katana play it oh and he's like oh and then he just starts
the game he goes what's hitting me what's hitting me and goes forward and then looks at like a turret
and then just died and he's like next game man he's never even heard of it i maybe if i say
john remeber may use bitch i don't think i've ever actually seen die katana after all these years
it's red i know that the n6 the n64 version is like a weird port that has a lot of differences and
the pc version is like as bad as it is is still a pc version is likely totally unplayable now
yeah maybe maybe it's on gog but i doubt it um but like it's still so cool that like die katana
i got an n64 port it's just fucking weird uh yeah and really quickly um i finished the show peeky
blinders on netflix very very good as like i said before that four seasons i know it's a weird name
no no not that not that i'm just like the stupid die katana logo from afar you're always like is
that a karuga it's not a karuga yeah yeah yeah it's true you know it's the fucking like that's
awful because it's the wrong colors and it's completely inverted but it's like it's almost
like because you know ike ruga is blue and white with the white on it black and red and it's black
and red so which is also ike ruga's inversion and like is that it no it's not uh but yeah peeky
blinders is really enjoyable i think it's still gonna have like a fifth season but like i finished
everything that netflix has adrian brody shows up as an italian don who like comes to ireland for
revenge and it's just the most godfather like i'm not i'm just doing you destroyed my family
you fucking irish fucks and then he's just he's just doing his like irish accent and it's just who
can out like exterior type like i know killian murphy is like whatever irish bit or british
whatever it is because they're all over the place like there's game of thrones actors thrown in there
you'll see like you died and game of thrones season whatever so they just show up with charles
dance who wasn't no it wasn't charles dance but there's someone else like oh my god cool and i think
tom hardy has scenes and of an episodes or two in every season i still don't really understood
anything he ever said because he's doing a irish or bane okay without like a bit of the voice
modulation but it's still his like cadence to like did he go round and round the riro
it's actually for a lot of money okay there's a lot of money at stake all right uh but it's a
little bit like rounding the riro um in terms of his voice but still really enjoyable show and um
last night uh i was just kind of sitting around and i i looked on my phone i got a message uh
i talked about this before um unfortunately i can't share it with people but believe me i
say when it's good but yuzo koshiro it's handed in his track for the the game i'm working on the
takeover and it's really really really good that's that's the yuzo koshiro track describe it
it sounds like a modern third strike okay well yep it's super good that's third strike is always
modern that's uh it sounds like it's done with modern instruments oh man the and it sounds clean
like third strike music can you just tell him that you're working on a different game but the game
isn't real and it's just a trick to get a whole album out of him if i say that i doubt i'll get
the whole album just that's what you get hopefully you can share work with a god yeah hopefully you
can share that online uh pretty soon but it's this marketing so uh yeah that was that was a
thrill to listen to that and yeah that's me i'm jealous now can i listen to it uh i have to get
clearance so that's great because i didn't i didn't i didn't broker the deal oh your ears your ears
are on nda oh okay or an l never repeat what you heard yeah yeah yeah can i hum it mimic it with your
what if you try what if it was like like just try humming it a little bit no
invisible handcuffs appear on your mouth to close it uh about you pat uh i've been sick all week
i'm finally getting better i feel like i have not coughing or sneezing today i'm still stuffed up so
whoo i'm better aside from that i did two things one i played monster hunter shocking uh i'm really
deep into that game now and the end game on that is fantastic with uh basically once you get all the
way to the end of high rank you unlock what are called tempered monsters which are basically
they have the same health as the end game stuff but they they are scaled so that they will always
be able to kill you and they drop various upgrade shit you can use to keep going over and over
but i mean for monster hunter i mean i i don't have much interesting to say i'd actually much
rather to hear what you have to say about it walls isn't there a like is what's the point of that
though if there's a cap to how strong you can get get it okay if you wear the best armor in the game
and you fully upgrade it yeah that's the end of there is no best armor in the game because what
though uh don't worry about it go on don't worry about that uh there is no best armor in the game
because the best armor in the game for your particular weapon set would depend on what skills
you have mixed and matched with what pieces with what decorations which i literally mean the highest
number your defense your you take they all fully they all upgrade to the same final defensive value
right okay so ultimately i mean that's what i'm saying so like there's a point where like you
can maximize the amount of defense of the amount of life a hit does to you that's correct and therefore
what's the point of having the enemy scale with so that when you're uh when you're fighting monsters
in order to upgrade your weapons and there is a final tier of of armor augments that you can get
per piece from tempered monsters okay but you're mainly upgrading your weapons to like several
tiers of upgrades later okay long story short use monster parts to make your weapons right you also
use monster parts to make your armor sure sure sure sure in addition once you finally you know
say you get yourself out and you have your mix set that has all the skills that you like on it right
yeah there's also a form of additional skill point thing you can get called decorations which
well there's a lot of ways to make you ever see that there's slots in the armor you put a gem in
there one two or three levels and that gives you appropriate skill levels that you can there's lots
of ways to make yourself tough right so once you get to the end of the game and you have say maxed
out default armor uh the monsters then get tempered which rescales them to appropriately always be a
threat and they will drop special materials that they will you can either reroll for new decorations
augment your weapons and armor one final step beyond which on based on rare drops so like what
it what I don't understand what the re okay they get stronger so that the game is not boring as you
grind the monsters are still yeah let me let me let me just explain then um it's just that when you
usually say you play an rpg and it's like you have scaling enemies right that's usually because like
um if it's I don't know what's a good example like an mmo where it's like it's not that there's no cap
to your level right but it's very very high or such correct then um the scaling is is appropriate
so that like below being the max level you can still have enjoy the game it's not a wall right and
then it kind of tracks you all the way up and then you have that point where you're like okay we know
that no one's going to get much tougher than this so I guess in monster hunter's case I kind of felt
like you could just have different thresholds of missions that's how it works you know and then you
have you have essentially you have low rank and you have three tiers you have the little guys like a
jagriss yeah or a gyros and then you have your anginafts and your baraths yeah and then you have
your uh rathalos and up let's say like right so like everything from rathalos to nirgigante
to the final boss right and then you have high rank and those ranks present themselves again those
divisions and then you get to tempered and then those ranks present themselves again okay in which
because you like at the end of high rank you can get stronger but not that much stronger like
five to ten percent so it essentially rescales the monster's strength okay to as it was when you
came into high rank so that the game is still playable and you're not just invincible and stomping
all over okay in my head like offering a static variety from holy shit to nothing was like sufficient
because of the yeah you'll know you'll never get to nothing there will always be something out there
so the the scaling the basic way it works is that every monster has its like big attack like
anginaft has its big stomp for example or rathalos has like like a tail swipe into a fire breath or
something like that even at the absolute maximum defensive value at the end of the game at the
end of the tempered elder dragon like boss fights you will probably not survive a hit from one of those
like the the big you know like narucate is like huge although there was a point where you said like
hey man if rathian breathes fire on you you're done and i was like i don't remember saying that
i thought you thought you told me that like well fire breath you're done and i was like okay and
then i took a hit and i was like oh i'm far from done just roll you know no okay no that's why you
have to roll to get the fire off yeah but i mean see that clip by the way what i was trying to explain
to you is there are times in which you get knocked down and then you start to stand up and you
realize you have killed yourself because you can see the fire like coming up coming up and you're
like oh i screwed up i don't have time to actually unless you've got a fucking badass buddy that
runs over and knocks you out of the way at the last second did you see that i did not see that
it is awesome there is a really good tweet that um i assume it's intentional i hope it's intentional
definitely okay it's a game system and it's super awesome because the timing is fucking
immaculate are they stunned and they can't get out and it's it's a it's a whole thing so let me see
if i can if i can pull this up real quick so you can see what i'm talking about but it's on uh my
latest retweets and it's just this japanese clip and it's fucking great uh i'm not sure what they're
fighting exactly but um there's this basically oh yeah giant fucker dude gets up he's stunned
he can't move and then and then and then twitter fucks up anyway so the dude is all dizzy
stars and then the video keeps lagging so it just doesn't awesome it just doesn't work
he's my imagination oh i can he knocks he knocks the stun gun yeah basically like buddy comes out
at the last second i can i can tell you what that is this is crazy it's crazy how badly this is
that actually works in perfectly to what i was talking about so that's teostra that is like
third from the top right and what he is setting up to do is supernova which is kind it kind of
literally the moment you want it's it's crazy stuttering in this video it's crazy how bad this
is going similar to like vegeta's like self-explosion yeah majin buu okay that will kill you period
every time you will die okay and especially if if he's like and to get knocked out of that is
that's why when you're online walls you can set an auto message for when you are stunned like that
and the odds save me the automatic one is hit me oh yeah okay because yes otherwise that's it your
palico will do that automatically in a lot of will they yes oh i've never seen that that's awesome
that's really cool like i've had the palico do that to me as well but for other players to actually
like see you notice it's happening and then knock your ass out of the way that's you have like one
second to realize i love that mechanic because that's a that's a like because you can hit people
while you're swinging in this game for sure right and like which can be good or awful yeah and but
that's the lead that's something that you wouldn't get in like a uh let's say a co-op souls boss fight
you know no that would be nightmarish right like you get a straight up like get the fuck out of the
way you know that s moments are now before i ask you about monster well i do want to recommend
a show that i've been watching to you specifically because you like cringe you like embarrassing
shit and you like eric andre yep you've done this offline but you can do it online too yes so uh at
super ipatch wolf's recommendation i've been watching a show called nathan for you which is the
creepy slow cold american on american under eric andre show and it is probably it is what is the
meme that we all probably know but we don't know where it came from that it originates from this
show i don't know oh really there's no like no i thought you knew and you wanted to see if you
know i'm like there must be something i've never heard it because that's how the that's how these
things go and weird so it's i don't think it's well suited to memeography um it so whereas
eric andre made me laugh a lot harder nathan for you has like kind of like
it makes me feel gross like long after the fact yeah it stays with you so like it is in its basic
premise it is nathan is a business guy with one of these kind of lifetime style shows who will
go to your struggling small business and give you tips on how to how to get your business going
but all every idea is awful many of them are probably not legal
and they're all the most awkward things in the universe to actually work through
so i'll give you a synopsis i'll use the same one is it i patch wool is this a television show
yes it is a tv show on comedy central okay got it and it is it is played like a lifetime like
almost house flippers yes kind of thing that kind of thing yeah so i patch wolf used this
episode in his example so why not i'll use it so local electronic store is struggling because
best buy is dominating them in the prices nathan goes hey wait a second i have an idea we'll have
a sale at this store for one dollar televisions then we'll go over to best buy and force them to
price match our store buy up a bunch of cheap tv's from them and then sell them at a huge profit
but how do we make sure that people don't buy the one dollar tv's when they're here
well one we enforce a suit and tie dress code only two we seal it off in with a tiny two by
two foot door in order to get in and three the tv's are are hiding behind an alligator
and it goes through him very awkwardly just oh well you can't come in because of the dress code
so they actually get these act these they don't just propose these things they put them into action
somehow convinces these poor business people to do it but that's not the awkward part the
awkward part so that's like goofy tv show high chains yes where the magic for nathan for you comes
in is part two of that which is going to best buy and arguing with people to try and buy the one
dollar tv's getting upset and confused that they won't do it and then filing a class action lawsuit
against best buy on behalf of the store owner without their knowledge then going on a fake date
with the woman to try and find to try and get video proof that they don't accept the fucking
like guarantee and then explaining to her oh by the way i faked being a hot topic manager so that
i could get you on camera saying what do you mean you don't want to go out with me and then like
five minutes of him like begging her to go out with him it is it is awful it is the worst feeling
in the world and it's every episode is like hi jinx to wait what are you doing to okay so there
there's an episode at which they do the whole episode and they go okay so we've my producers
tell me that we else we broke a ton of laws doing that episode so now we have to go on this long
form journey through legal loopholes to make a film out of all the footage we shot so that we could
we could get away with the fraud that we conducted using these johnny depp impersonators
and it's just like woolly that specific cringe that i know you love that is for you but is there
an element that's real yes which part like all of it arguing well i mean they're like someone's
an actor nathan is an actor that's it yes and that is it and this is all real people getting
fucking hoodwigs feel it in my bones but then they're told later oh boy like you're on a show
no they know they're on a show they are told hey you're on a show to help small struggling businesses
but that's it and i and i guess the idea portrayed as real right but it's like once you
once you're on the show and you know you're on the show then you just let bullshit happen
because you know you're on the show it doesn't seem like that it doesn't seem like that at all
but i mean like clearly when the alligator is being wheeled out of the fucking truck well they
actually they show the interviews you know what i mean nathan brings these people around because
their businesses are desperate and this guy has a tv crew with him and he appears to be a business
expert right and goes hey no hey listen i know a lot about more and but in this really awkward
stilted awful manner and it's just so that's that's nathan for you let me give you the ultimate
toy company can't sell this fucking awful toy ball because it's terrible nathan comes up with the
idea hey listen what if we have an ad campaign that tells children that if you don't have this toy
that you're a baby and other kids will laugh at you because you fill your diapers toy company guy
he hates it he's like that's awful we're not gonna do that he says i'm gonna run an experiment
to show him how good this idea is so he gets a focus group of kids and then he goes shows them
the toy and goes hey you like this they go no it's awful well what if i told you that if you
don't have this toy that you're a baby and he shows them like a fucking awful poster of kids
laughing at a kid in diapers and he goes do you want it now and one of the kid goes no it's like
well are you a baby these are like five year olds yeah yeah yeah and they go no and they grab it
he goes great now we can move on to the next test and he installs a fake santa in a store
in order to tell kids hey you need this because you don't want the other kids to laugh at you right
and the kids are like almost in tears going to grab the thing and he takes that video and shows it
to the guy he's like what are you doing don't do this this is evil okay that's much much more
straightforward no no like yeah fucking with children this like they're everyone can enjoy that
just yes this is this is this show is built for your perfect need for awkward cringe
this is one of those 22 minute shows that takes an hour and a half to watch
that's rough that's pretty rough okay and and there's seasons of this there are four seasons
okay all right it's like the next it's like okay how do i watch comedy central oh next time i go to
the states i guess pushing the limitations of of like what you can do when someone signs a waiver
a release well in fact all his release forms often contain like a release form he makes a
lawyer sign contains the line hey if starbucks sues us you're completely liable 100 percent
the lawyer says i didn't sign that he goes yeah look look it was hidden in your release form
whoops evil evil shit you need to get on this willy because i know that i don't know if your
soul desires that horrible feeling okay but here's the problem i was watching a show last night where
i'm like i don't want to look i don't want to look because it was so cringy and i didn't want to see it
and i literally buried my head in a pillow but yeah i guess it's just kind of like the main thing
is like at the end of the day as fucked as he is eric andre comes across as some kind of protagonist
yeah do you understand what i mean yes whereas nathan nathan's does not sound like that at all
this is the creepiest part because the the show it's like what you said about fucking uh god uh uh uh
the superman movie uh man of steel yeah or the the camera says that superman is jesus yeah
the camera and the show are all carefully crafted to make nathan look like the protagonist
every single thing except for his actions okay like everything is earnest everything is honest
everything up here is genuine and you really feel it but he just he's evil yeah but doesn't he is
her evil okay okay the idea is he comes up with her evil wow like you're saying eric andre there is
no inherent maliciousness no behind him eric andre is chaotic good yeah but these are not malicious
these are misunderstood do you ever remember that that that thing that got on big news called dumb
starbucks down in the states i don't okay well that was a big thing for a while that was a fucking
episode of this that nobody knew about to steal all of starbucks's ip under parody law
wow wow no i didn't hear about that what a what a foolish plan it's like we can just make your cafe
a starbucks but if we put dumb in front of it it's a parody so they can't sue us
it's the worst okay it feels bad okay um yeah so i um i want to say
i guess what is it like hr seven or eight i don't know here's what i did how did you
did you deal with zora uh yeah and um so here's so okay so in monster hunter um that mission
where you go and you fight the giant volcano that's correct is cinematic the first one is is really bad
and that's what i've done and i'm kind of like you're clearly unable to do anything in this no
matter what you do there's there's two there's two fights there's the one that you did and then
there's the rematch okay because it feels as if like the first time you do this like at best
you're you're doing it perfectly for some maybe some special drops dude it's not even repeatable
it is it is purely there's just nothing there yeah okay the second one it was it was as nothing as
it felt the the second one is repeatable four drops the first one is not because it's literally to
open up the next area that you go to yeah okay so the first one's also really confusing because
you're being introduced to many mechanics for the first time yes well for you the first time sure
but even the i'm like cannons arrows ballista one shot binders we're on we're on wall maria now
this is what we're doing okay and then after that and i'm like can i aim these cannons no they don't
name yes well yeah so there you go so to aim the cannon you have to actually be to the side of the
cannon and then you will have a prompt to push it from one side to the other like you know really
anyway that's new that's a new sure but but that's that's exactly it right so i'm being so like all
that's happening while the timer's ticking because you don't have time and the commander is screaming
at you and you're faster exactly right so you're the and then um what happens and then
and then they drop the uh the fucking whatever the birds are posts yeah and they're like go use
one of those things and i'm like yeah what things don't worry about it don't worry about it what
things are you it's like a new thing is unlocked i'm like what they say oh those objects that i don't
know what they are that are the hitching sprinkled around the map one of those i'm like okay cool
right up to this and then the prompt appears got it you know and you're like it was very uh it could
have been handled much better i i i felt very similarly to you in that mission it's it's a mess uh
the the in monster hunter there is always one or two bosses in the in the whole list that is
their big set piece cinematic boss monster you know that thing and those nearly always are super
super gigantic you have you deal with cannons and melissa and dragonators and all that shit
they are near universally awful yeah like all like they put them in every time
they're almost always trash the idea was cool but they just didn't do it cool so
so the this one the second time you fight him it's probably the best one so far in the series
just because the second version of that is much more understandable okay there's phase one where
you slap it's back in phase two where you shoot it in the face okay but the nature of load up these
cannons and fire these cannons 10 times in a row and then when he gets close shooting with balista
is super awful and boring yeah and they're like i even i even tried to swing on him when the hand
was around yeah and that no you can only attack his magma core weak spots or fucking whatever like
there was there was i was clipping through the body i mean yeah there was nothing happening no it's
it's it was clearly unintended you know i was like oh you're the game is like you're not supposed
to be standing here right now no but what if i want to but anyway um so beyond that though uh yeah
i think that means you got to coral highlands yeah the last thing i did was i went down into
the dank oh you went down to the rotten veil and i took out one of them rolling spike wall
oh rhodobon yeah sleepy boy took one of him out and uh saw the armor set that he gives you
oh it's bulky ain't it whoo oh it's it's it's it's that's my next it's it's that armor is hyper
popular like it is one of the most popular sets that i've seen for low-ranked people
because it's the first one that you get that is like a thousand pounds and it's like it's like
you're like a dreadnought yeah it turns you into a dreadnought so uh yeah that's my next wishlist
but then also what's cool about that mission as well is you also immediately get if you kill them
by the way because you don't have to you can just you run into these things and do an expedition
they're they're all over the place and then i'm like oh you want me to go just check this out your
mission is to just see this monster yeah just look at it yeah okay cool and then what just run away
fuck you so i killed the the great um nasty lizard and um what a nasty lizard yeah yeah yeah
like can you just give me a color the poisonous black all the great heroes type thing yeah the guy
who gives you the bloodborne armor exactly and then i saw that set and i'm like oh we're fucking going
leather and goggles now yeah all right so that as those two sets are completely opposite from each
other yeah but very very cool what is sleek and like goggled and like uh uh uh steam punkish
not steam punkish but whatever it's got big big goggles something punk something punk
and the other is dreadnought crazy i have a i have something for you uh the next time you go down to
the rotten veil wolves go to the first camp and look out among thing you're gonna see a giant ass
fucking snake head like area four in the rotten veil is a giant snake mouth okay and the reason why
the top layer of rotten veil coils around itself is that's the body is because that entire zone
is the top of a giant snake skeleton that's amazing so that's called a dalamador and that used to be
the event bot that used to be the zora magdaros of a different game that's so cool and like that that's
why you use those there's grappling points where you're looking at basically its ribs well those
are all the wedge beetles but you know what you know what i mean but they go up with the round
parts you notice the arches you know on the on the on the big long road there's all these weird
spikes on the side those are the the scales awesome coming off of it okay well anyway dalamador was
like the worst of all of them because he has eight carves and you have 60 seconds and you have to do
a sprint not even you have you have to stand in a certain spot so you clip through a certain part
of his body is a bit dude and then you have to run through his model blind to it to his tail
in order to carve that to get him so carving used to be stand in the right part of the body no well
because on the really really big ones they have different points to carve they have their back or
their head or their midsection that's so oh my god it was it was a fucking it was a puzzle to figure
out how you could i can imagine i can imagine because right now the fact that it's like while
you're in a cut scene hit r1 and then mass circle and then you start carving right away like i'm
like yeah i'll just hold it down you'll carve faster hold circle yeah how cool because if you if
you mash it you'll get the bend down carve bend down carve but if you hold it he'll just sit down
and start carving one two three anyway so i'm having fun with that and i also went to a dragon
ball fighters tournament played how'd it go stuff we played blaze move uh yeah exactly imagine they
trick you blaze move plants are just tricking people i i i want a raffle for the first time
ever at a tournament and it was oh yeah yeah it was a funko pop yeah so that's what's funko pop
is shrunks oh the one that you like yeah oh shrunks there's nothing that funko pop does a
bigger disservice than dragon ball because their eyes are like big and expressive it's it's like
it's amazing who what like somewhere i was reading that like it was an article i think that was
written about about the company and about like the founding of them and how their whole marketing
thing worked and how they basically just went everyone has a fandom everything has a fandom
yeah and we've everything thus everything has a market yeah and if we just get into everything
right that's a cool idea but we want to do this in an affordable manner and also make it so that
exactly it's good it's all about price i so if you want to express that you like a thing but you
don't want to spend any money on it then like but you want more than a sticker or a pin right
then you got to go for something more tangible yeah i mean marketing wise it's it's a brilliant
idea it costs nothing to make so really nice one's called the nendoroids nendoroids i remember
seeing like an article breaking it down of like like fans of overwatchers or whatever they could
get this tracer nendoroid for x amount of dollars or they could get five overwatch funko pops yeah
so the average person goes ooh more and that's it understand that's it understandable oh no it looks
like shit no but i know but it's no but no but it's like but what i mean is is like one of the
quality versus quantity thing right and if something like if you can't even get the five then you're
like well and it's not even that i look better they do but they're much more posable come with
shit yeah and whatever but like there's a whole twitter account which is nendoroids versus funko
pops exactly i'll show the exact same character i pimp them out on a regular basis and like i feel
like i like if there were people that were like okay i this is what i can afford so i'm buying this
funko pop but then i'm gonna fucking like rip its head off and mod it and make it not shit that would
be like a decent rebuttal you know that would be a like a thing that you can do but otherwise
possibly do to those things yeah a lot of sculpting and just i guess but why not just make your own
from scratch at that point well just showing that she can it's most of the time it's usually just
the head yeah it's usually just yeah the bodies there's not much to do but you know quality quantity
right it's the word i'm glad i'm glad that we contacted that tournament to make sure that you
got that there you go for that rigged that's next level super rigged with tournaments you'd go to
calling them up yeah rigging it so that you'd win yeah i got third place who you got third place
what team you use i'm trying a brand new one because uh the team i was using has no assists
oh you're all all people you just want to play and and the deal exactly so though the gohan 16
hit team as much fun as i have with that team because i like playing as those characters
they don't help each other as much as they can there's no synergy really the synergy well the
problem is is that like gohan is not gohan has a dragon punch that's amazing but the other characters
jump out and they do short range attacks right and you can't you can't work with that you need variety
so when you make a team you want to think about like okay do you have a beam you know do you have
someone that can jump out and throw a beam out no do you have someone that can jump out and do a
long range lockdown like vegeta right because vegeta comes out and goes right and he does like
ameterize you style thing and it's incredible wasn't it marvel what was it where it's like
you can pick a character but then you can pick what special they actually do yes so every marvel
game has choose the assist one one to three so it's like wolverine but you get you draw claw
berserker barrage or um upclaw skullgirls also has that too skullgirls has same degree custom
assists i forgot i forgot that's what i was actually where you jump in and do the input for whatever
you want yeah you just the best right um so too much i think so yeah so anyway but but but as it is
you know like everyone and as a result now the thing that i'm um it's being like to make me go
like ah is you're fighting against people and like the strongest people strongest players and what not
are generally people that like you either have to have vegeta because that assist is so good and it
just means like you have a solid two three seconds to walk up and hit two h and launch the guy yeah
or you need um some other type of replacement beam you know uh or our kid boo jumps in and
does like a big like like pentagram of what about a goku can i put a goku in there yeah there's
three to choose from so i you know but i'm some of the kind of person that i'm like i have to really
like everybody involved on the team and i especially don't want to use the thing that
everyone's relying on this is more or less the exact same thing in monster hunter with your
characters look it's like no it's not enough that they're strong i want to like the way the team
it comes together yeah which by the way uh i watched that video about the lance and holy
fuck that's going to be my next oh yeah you watch oh you watch guys and hunters like holy
shit that that weapon is incredible you move all over you so never stop so but yeah so the whole
thing so i switched to the new team and um i'm still trying to figure it out but it's by replacing
gohan with piccolo okay and putting piccolo second okay right so who's in front uh 16 okay and and
because 16 is my scariest character uh usually the momentum works out so that like if i'm playing
like if i'm playing gohan i'm kind of like fishing for hits a little bit here and there
seeing what i can do playing neutral as it were but with 16 i can just run a train on you yeah
and if you don't guess right it's over piccolo's assist would work really well with that because
it's just that floating ball it's the reality stone yeah right it's exactly reality so that floats out
while i'm doing my tackle and if you block it then the ball makes it safe yeah you know or i can do
like pop pop whatever so anyway i just like piccolo i do like piccolo gohan's dad is a pretty cool
guy i do like piccolo a lot he's a cool character he never changes his clothes he doesn't care what's
going on he doesn't fucking do anything in all honesty with the the cape and the headband and
all that shit like he's got one of the best designs why ever change he knows right he did the casual
for what and i mean sure there's art of him with the hat the hat backwards and whatnot with the
the driving yeah that's not mine no but like that that is one that i'm using say man i'm using
say amen exactly but anyway so um yeah and i think i think it's working ish but he's weird
because he's got that long range grapple thing yeah you know he's got to get over here and he
doesn't have a proper like beam yeah so you've got to work around other characters using theirs on you
and like pull them out of the air it's it's so weird it's fun because when i played the open beta
right before the game came out most of those characters had beams yeah and i remember going like
man it's a ton of the cast has beams that's kind of boring and then once the main game came out
and i was playing with more characters i'm like fuck i was just character had a fucking beam
the beams are so useful honestly sayings are like it's almost like a class like showed us you know
it's like okay sayings they get the beam sayings get the straightforward you know probably some
kind of dp and then that's that some type of twirling kiki wish you know and you know what to
expect but then there's the rest you know anyway um the search continues i don't know if i'm walking
it there because there's always dlc we'll never lock it down yeah but but always be free and loose
yeah imagine that i lock it down dlc killing characters come out you're like nope yeah no i'm
gonna try i locked it down earlier you know but like uh hit continues to be don't get a piccolo
tattoo no i'm not going to commit to a piccolo tattoo uh the world the hit continues to be
an enigma to everybody and they're like what is this character what is he doing he couldn't be
more different than everyone on the cast and i'm like give me my akihiko he doesn't play like
any he plays like he's from a different fucking game he plays like he's from persona he's he's
a less cheap akihiko yeah he's a more fair version of that and some in a certain way is that because
he's different or because the people he's playing against are like more equipped to deal with that
nonsense uh everyone's equipped with a ton of shit and akihiko can like with perfect reads
be unstoppable yeah you know but perfect reads so um but down to like the parry the full screen
rush yeah absolutely it's very clear ground control and like you you want to basically play a fighting
from the air but even then there's options selects uh so anyway it's it's it's good it's fun i'm having
a fun time with all these all these monsters and dragon balls hit a frieza hit looks like he might be
no he's from a completely different universe but he's not yeah but there's universe pairs
true he's from that paired universe yeah i think he's like he's like he's like he's hit a frieza
i know you're like i like i said last i'm like i don't think he like his head is clearly not that
race hit a milkshake you know he's he's he's a he's a different kind of race okay is he from the
ice what sucks is that the the strongest unstoppable g-red is a way worse design yeah it's
true it's just a bug i mean nothing wearing night crawlers uniform well okay so topo his
buddy the the big guy with the mustache he as he went on to keep fighting recently got a way
better design once he took a shirt off okay and has a really cool like look to him so maybe once
jiren actually has to try take his shirt off he just takes shirt off and he's got like 10 arms or
something yeah okay we even knows because fuck jiren's they're dumb faces there are four minutes
left in the tournament of power can anyone explain why jiren is so strong no it's it's different
though because he's jiren's eyes are all black like that it's like it it's a different feel when
like because there's so many cutaways to characters faces in dragon ball so you're but he's just an
x-files alien it's true you know you're a really ripped you need something right it out x-files
fully he's like a he's like a sentai man you should love him yeah how he literally
fights for peace and justice sure sure sure but in the same uniform i think i'm a design wise i was
like yeah well his eyes are kind of like common right he's wearing like he's wearing like a sentai
uniform okay no no no okay i thought i was talking about his head in that moment oh yeah he's a
fucking alien i'm like what part of his head is like that but can't wait for dsc character
dispo the rabbit that rabbit fuck is on their team he's fast that's his gimmick
kafla better be in there he's faster than frieza saying girl's better band yeah
they might even be a pair that'd be interesting like 18 and 17 and then like they're they're
alts or whatever he is into the form that'd be great that'd be a really smart that'd be a smart way to
do it uh it's time for the news the news
oh man you know what i said my fucking you know hey we're just talking about
uh honestly heard of that stun shit you know you can change what your character says during
all those automatic callouts no oh you can i changed it to i'll never football again
okay guess what there was a football guess what before the football oh there was a
a shuffling because it's being pushed does a step down but there was a shuffling okay
kaz here i oh no has stepped down oh no and i love the photo used of him in this game spot
article no kimatsu article look at this it's a photo used to support it's a photo of two dead
things no um kaz right is that a psp that is a vita vita vita uh kaz to step down and um he's
replaced by yasb oh yasb is going to be the president of sony wow so it's our CEO rather
hey good for you well it's weird because the phrasing is is very complicated and full of
bullshit and here let me get the words out for you so yoshida the current director representative
corporate executive officer executive deputy president and chief financial officer of sony
corporation has been appointed the director representative corporate executive officer
president and chief executive officer of the company effective april first replacing the
president and chief executive officer kaz hurray i don't know what does this mean that i can shit
post at the head of sony on twitter yes good and he might answer you this is the really
important thing he might actually answer you the one thing i read about this article is that like
kaz was actually the guy that's like pushing entertainment in the sense that like he's like
yeah sony pitchers we got to do our best making movies and like over the years they're like it
constantly loses money like our motion pitch like we're terrible sony pictures is like the biggest
money loser of the whole fucking company isn't it i don't know if it actually is but i wouldn't be
surprised and then like they're like hmm i wonder if with him down it's like where's the guy that's
wcw only died because ted turner got gave up from pat no he got ousted from power during a merger
and with every single executive was like fucking get rid of goddamn rustling it's terrible he's like
nah okay wrestling right it's funny because i remember when uh kaz got promoted he got promoted
explicitly because the playstation division that he had it was doing so well yeah it was one of the
bigger money makers for the company and then you see okay he gets replaced by who somebody from the
playstation division that is doing so well that and it's like and the fact that like kaz if like
he went to the movies instead of doubling down on the thing that was actually making money that he
came from like that's goofy well you'd think they'd hand it over to someone from the medical equipment
division or whatever that is or the life insurance division that's their mud they're more profitable
branches but we don't talk about those i'm not sure if that's like yeah you got those are pretty
much and only aren't entertainment that like the life insurance one for sure nobody's buying
sony brand life insurance out here at least i didn't playstation life insurance you get a free
maybe maybe or my credit card information will get started in xbox one in your casket with you
live in your world playing ours oh that's not bad yeah uh all the best to you mr kaz yeah
farewell he left more gracefully than his predecessors but here's the thing is that like
he's still working there he's just not the director can we get him back now that he's not the president
can we get him back being a fucking you cluck the fucking sorry i wanted to go cluts and then yucking
it up and it you said cluck clucking it up like he's a fucking chicken no can we get uh him yucking
it up on fucking live streams again that 599 us dollar shit again god that was fucking embarrassing
i miss ken kudoragi ken so fucking crazy though yeah i do i miss discipline and i remember you
referenced it earlier i love it 15 or 16 and watching ken sell this crazy bullshit and be like
that's not true i like how's he lying like this i like i like the man that believes his own bullshit
so much that he's like he's like i'm gonna parent everyone and force them to to like my product
yeah it'd be terrible if there was a president like that you have no say in the matter i'm like
are you serious ken there's gonna be a cell processor in your fridge is gonna make your games
run better toy story like graphics holy shit ps2 that fridge shit was the craziest ever i love it
i love it god bless the uk resistance wherever they are um so yeah there goes cas my cas long
live but not really because you're still there yeah still working there that's weird goodbye i just
moved two doors down in my actually no i didn't even i'm still in the same office oh yeah me and
yes we talked is like we're too lazy to actually pick up our shit i would if i was friends with
a guy i'm like i don't want to fucking move my shit and if he's down like yeah he's got that
nice corner office that you've i had your eye on forever if you have your eye on some friends
corner office not like super good friend well it looks like it looks like shakeups in general
though because house just left right so like it feels as if uh two major icons for sony or now
yeah but i'm always i'm always unsure as to how much that actually changes thing in a company like
well who knows right i mean look post a water nintendo i feel is clearly different well yes
because that was like a guy pushing his fucking drive for like this is how the company's gonna be
and uh more like this is how the company is going to be you're right that's much better
but uh yeah here we go so there's that that's much better
um sony's like well then big multi conglomerate
fucking thanks multinational
talking about red dead redemption too oh god we talked about this yeah a little bit at some point
the off camera the takeaway here was that like devolve a digital said we're just not gonna work
during october hey everyone get your fucking games out of october rockstar's gonna beat your
shit rockstar has kindly informed the industry of where to take its vacation yes it's this feels
like a dick move because this feels like overwatch having its public beta on the same weekend as
battle born's release uh it's more it's not it's not that it's a dick move but it's shittier
because of the fact that it's sliding into a new window yeah right so it was originally
gonna be a spring release and the fact that now it's it's jumping down yeah means a little extra
a bunch of people in the industry went yeah and a bunch of new people are going fuck i don't know
if you've actually said it but yeah red dead two is gonna be coming out on october 26 completely
screwing up many companies plans as they will not be able to compete fortunately i don't think
too many people have even announced yeah release dates that far in advance yet now let me let me be
clear i'm not sitting here saying like oh man red dead it's the best game ever it's no one can compete
no i'm saying rockstar games crush everything in their release windows they sell like fucking crazy
yeah and anytime they release everything around them dies we were saying this a few days ago willy
but like rockstar used to release like multiple games a year like just weird stuff but they also
have years of nothing yeah well ever since then then they just started having years of nothing
but when they release it it will sell until the next thing comes out yeah and then they're like
well that's how we're gonna do yeah they it's like the mario kart fucking approach yeah make the game
that everyone needs to have and it'll just sell forever aside from gta 4 and 5 the only other
rockstar thing i can even think of is uh la noir
is there are there smaller releases there must be smaller releases maybe like like i mean what about
like well i guess the online dta online is almost like a separate suite but you know that's own
top gang masters every month it's doing its own thing um yeah when i was in a fucking uh
well uh where the fuck baltimore not baltimore max mariland and magfest max pain three i'd count
took a fucking uber and the fucking like 55 year old lady driving us is like telling us how she's
blowing every night on gta online jeez that's the only game she plays a midnight club for it it's like
man fuck bring back midnight club those games are awesome yeah they're not coming back shit
um i love those fucking dear all we're excited to announce that rdr2 we'll be releasing on
october 26 we apologize for the delay we hope the game would be out sooner but we need a lecture
a little extra time for polish we thank you for your patience and we'll you'll agree it'll
been worth it check out the screenshots there's more info coming in the coming weeks we also
are cowards for not naming the game red dead retribution with thanks rockstar games oh it's
crazy how they put that in the thing there they at least they'd finally admitted it it's exactly what
i said like at least they finally in 2003 2007 manhunt two then after that just one game every
couple years who needs it after that yeah it's latoir and gta so here's my question for say your
like assassins creeds not gonna move right if it's even coming out this year that's just the
example i think of because those games always dropping lightly at october early november like
november 14th around right say you're below that right yeah you're not call of duty you're not
assassins creed whatever but you're november right and you're going to go for november now red
dead season is gonna last for like the entire month of november as well because it's the end of
october and it's a big long game i'm sure no one's in and out of that so what do you do do you try
and move it up which can be disastrous or do you push it back and miss the holiday no because
you're moving it even september was so here's why moving it up is bad because um you have to remember
that media isn't media drops are not like the day of there's the ramp up and then and then the take
over cycle and all right exactly so you move it up and you're drowned out in the noise of horse hoofs
oh man you know beating on the on the horizon like you just can't yell loud enough about your
game's release for a rock star trailer to not eclipse it and they're they're the way they do
their trailers since red dead one has been amazing forget it but i fall for it every time you're not
you're not gonna yell loud enough so it's like you drop it afterwards and hope for christmas
fucking the red dead videos were like this is amazing moment of like this is how you do
fucking gameplay trailers dipshit and then it works on max pain three and like you don't even like
that game i don't even like max pain three either but like at the time i was like holy
shit then it worked again with la noir yeah uh i'm i'm so excited to see the over the coming year
just watch as just games just start to slowly slide forward oh no we're delaying it for polish and
adding more content until the fiscal quarter of march of 2019 or fucking whatever we know
i mean it's been this way for years though it's like there's annual um uh what would you call them
like there's drops that require space yeah on the calendar and certain games would ignore
each other because they're both drops so you'd get shit like call of duty and assassin's creed
coming out on the same fucking day in some cases not caring about each other really wow you guys
just don't give a shit yeah yeah and it's like no they're not competing but like even if you're not
competing directly you're still competing for someone's wallet yeah you know what i mean like
there's still a decision being made there so well there was one rock star game released in 2009
i didn't even know about beater raider beater raider i've heard of beater raider rock star leads
and timbaland presents i've heard of beater raider i've heard of beater raider now is it all right
well yeah but like yeah like the early aughts manhunt didn't they have table table tennis table
table tennis was one that was like a wee launch game or and uh table tennis and then uh yeah uh
midnight club smugglers run the warriors games like it was crazy they're just doing a lot of
stuff and then they're like wait we don't we can work less we just got to work harder they and then
we won't need the bends we can blizzard basically yeah yeah even blizzard releases work but i but i
but it's almost like blizzard is like the it's like what you know the companies that would aspire
to be when you're not being forced to make a gay a call of duty every second year you're too big
when you're not forced to make a call of duty every second year then you just become big enough to
disappear and um i made the analogy last time but um well uh what's the actor's name again um
daniel day louis it yeah yeah that's exactly daniel day louis your career your company yeah
and then the ultimate even beyond that is you become so successful you don't even have to release
games anymore like valve it's true yeah yeah we can we can just work all day and not release anything
everyone will love us you invented a platform you know yes making money off you're talking to the
kid that invented velcro tell him what to do with his yeah where's your new shit make no i made
velcro like what is he supposed to do with his day yeah he's gonna take flaming burning arrows
shoot them into the sky and then everybody has to look up and like move to avoid getting impaled
on a flaming that's my new thing that's how you waste time it's this is the replacement for velcro yes
yep uh i would very much like a new half-life game please these things they take time oh my god
i wouldn't be nearly as mad if not for that fucking kickstarter oh because you saw that
fucking prince of persia thing i posted right where it was a new prince of persia was going to come out
but they turned it into ac chronicles yeah that's good it's the same developer and it looked better
and i wrote like fuck how many times does this franchise need to die to make sure ac stays in
the spotlight the answer and some guy i'm sure you didn't mean anything by it but some guy wrote
just give it a little time i'm like how long is eight years to you so so matt here's the problem
with ac is that ac is too similar to prince of persia and the brand doesn't matter anymore to them
because they have a replacement brand for for for um for a big third part they're a big uh triple a
thing absolutely agree for a 2d side scrolling thing that the fact that the fact that the example
you brought up happened at all means that that's exactly the case they go no why would we have a
prince of persia game when we could have an assassin's creed game i know i know but after the fact
who fucking cares about those ac games more people than care about prince of persia games
if it was the prince of persia game the screenshots i would have stood out way more like oh more ac
games the brand is more important than it's standard the brand is more important than itself
it's honestly big like i'm trying to think of another example because i'm sure there's others
out there but it's almost like a successor series in their heads no no i know it's not i understand
all this and that the answer the answer is not it's the brand is more important than it sales
it's the brand is more important to sales than it's standing out is really okay well that's
they feel that no matter what the assassin's creed brand is so much stronger than the prince
of persia brand that even if the game looks like shit or is shit it will still sell better
than a prince of persia game because of the name on it during my research there's a huge golf
for the prince of persia zero like the uh nathan drake one sold like almost three million copies
spare for a 360 game uh then the next game the forgotten sands which is like the confusing is
that game is weird is this the movie game no uh that sold like 500 000 copies across all four
skews so uh that is a massive golf and i understand not making a new game after that i i'm gonna i'm
gonna like summon the the pretty much the voice of of u b right now and basically say matt here you
go you're on conference call if you can convince our shareholders yeah to do pop instead of a c
then we can go green light it instead though the word instead instead of put our money towards pop
instead of ass creed matt i because the money default belongs to ass creed i have really good
news for you yeah uh you will get a new prince of persia game it's going to be the next assassin's
creed game that takes place in persia and your character someone said that someone said that to
me like that is by far more likely you know what i would even be like this is fine too
you know like far cry blood dragon yep just release a dlc pack like oh yeah but it has to be called
prince of persia okay that that is a synergistic moment where i'm like because this does not make
sense you're not spending a lot on this how about prince of assassins i was just thinking that
the prince of assassins well you know that's how you know that's how assassins creed started
absolutely the first game was called prince of persia assassins sure yeah but no but like just
throw a throat no mix the gumbo up prince of assassin but but for real though like the the
problem that like the even larger than that problem is that like i bet if you grabbed a businessman
over at the ubisoft and said when are you guys gonna get a new assassin's creed game and he's
gonna be we just put one out it's called origins what do you mean and you go no prince of persia
i would agree with you but every like i fucked that up and oh shit the last couple of months
like this has come up especially i think i mentioned this christy teigen or whatever super model
wrote like where the fuck is prince of persia and she's got nine million followers so then ubisoft
came out of nowhere and said hey yeah it's still a valued brand but right now there's nothing in the
works you know what's that it's currently remember the current um uh official response is it is a
franchise that is on pause this is a this is a company that released a beyond good and evil
two trailer oh god 10 years ago or whatever the fuck with no game in development and told people's
in development and then followed it up like six years later with a new trailer and said it was in
development when it also again wasn't in development they were throwing ideas because it's a valued
brand yeah the phrase valued brand but no plans means hold on spread your cheeks while i blow smoke
up your fucking ass i hate that and now it's been made while the cancel button is being held down
yeah we got jimmy he's just leaning on it with his elbow he's he's sleeping that's just not moving
for any any like the time can we get the cancel brick and just hold it on top of the button
so that it's always out down uh yeah what else so no convince the shareholders valued brand
just means if they'll talk to me i'll do my best you know what a valued brand is system
shock when that fucking legal company was holding on to it for like a decade wanted it
you know convincing shareholders is a it's a big job for big boys that's correct and uh
if you're pretty good at it yeah you can you can you can you can convince them that
microtransactions coming back to star wars battlefront won't be a shit show
because there was a uh conference call that was i guess leaked or i don't know whatever
you want to call not even linked but like put up online and you could hear as they're talking about
how battlefront 2 is not doing great and yeah it's sold what 10 million copies it's sold not
nine i think no it's sold eight instead of nine it didn't meet sales expectations and that they're
not giving up on the idea of the microtransactions in fact they think that they can bring them back
with the right what was the word i actually don't think you can they were you to make much of a
difference there would i forget the word that was used but it was like uh pretty much just you
know the right framing yeah you know so sterling's obviously been covering this a lot because this
like publisher nonsense is is bread and butter and like everything about these conference calls
with the shareholders every single sentence is the slimyest lie possible so we had don't worry
about the microtransaction nonsense that's not going to affect our bottom line meanwhile they
would tell everyone that we need the microtransactions to make the games profitable this was then followed
by this which is sales are down but don't worry the microtransactions will be back to save the
bottom line even though they don't affect the bottom line even though they are required to
make the game it's like oh my fucking shut up it's it's a star wars game releasing around the
time of a star wars movie how can you not make money off of nine million of these copies you stupid
corporate fucks it's the most free money shit ever if you remember the tone that the investors
at the nintendo meeting had where's my dividends now right demanding answers like children in that way
and and obviously they invest in order to make money it makes sense but like the business you get
into like you kind of need to know a little bit about how it works no you don't no no no clearly
you don't you clearly you don't you can and you are doing so with that but if you don't then
it should be obvious why uh when you then make a decision that the that the um the industry
does not like and they backlash against it like it shouldn't be so confusing as to why it didn't
work so it's like there's like I almost you don't need to know anything but if you did a little
bit of research I almost feel bad you'd know more and better right now because it's like the
shareholders are screaming why aren't you gouging as hard as we can and then EA goes because all the
government agencies in the world said they were going to make the thing we were doing illegal
there's that and then the response comes back we don't care get the money from the children
there's there's that but then you can also go look at this reddit thread look at those downvotes
there's there's the part where they show though that like uh um god what was the fucking term
I'm gonna have to find it because it was really framing things in a way where it's like pretty
much DLC still accounts for the majority of the income in that given quarter sure and it's still
and microtransactions are still like such a huge trunk that you can't ignore them I hope when those
microtransactions come back they are just as bad as they were before and they accidentally get them
outlawed ah okay push to the extreme to uh to create because like I don't know what they're because
those things have been turned off for so long now and that it's going to come back and it's like I
have no idea what they could possibly do to that that the whole game is built on a like a pay to
win basis you know we don't we don't play all that many brand new like uh fucking mobile games that
often oh no we don't uh and the ones that we do are weird uh I I was I was asking someone like hey
what's a really good arcade race and they're like try this one on iOS and I'm like okay it's like
I'll call asphalt something and it's by game loft and like like this is so prevalent in the game
space where we don't play and like Star Wars is what it's trying to be now where I'm like I started
out this game I looked up some screenshots wow this looks like a really cool arcade racer game
has some neat boosting mechanics it's like burnout yeah it looks gorgeous too when you win a match
when you win a race it'll say look you got this amount of xp but if you watch this 25 second ad
yes you'll get double the xp for that and I'm like that's standard no that's standard but it wasn't
sure but then you get to the main menu the main page and just every single thing is buy a box buy
this buy that buy the season pass buy a car box blah blah blah blah blah and I'm just like this is
Star Wars is like you can't do this shit with Star Wars because it's such a valued brand that
people have a certain expectation of you have to like make something brand new and put all your
bullshit into it yeah like off the bat to make people go okay well this is what the deal is
but if you start saying hey kids like buy this wookiee pack or whatever the fuck battlefront
to because I still haven't played it and I refuse to um so like I don't know what's going on I don't
even know what he was trying I was trying to sell you crystals and the crystals give you buffs
they were just unfair no no it's that you buy packs the packs give you cards and the cards are where
you get every single powerful upgrade in the entire game but people that can't like afford it or like
but it's not put any shit don't buy the window it's not buy to win it's it's explicit it's the most
explicit buy to win it ever it's how many degrees of obfuscation from your cash dollars very few
actually and that's what's crazy it was buy it get a power up done uh anyway so you know um
that that continues so yeah I would like to echo Jim's sentiments of that EA's uh crocodile tears
about how we need to do this kind of shit in order to make the game profitable it's like
you sold millions of a star wars game nine million of the conservative 10 million they
projected and and it wasn't profitable it's like no the actual statement is it wasn't
more profitable than avatar so our shareholders are mad yeah and I it's I'm annoyed for not finding
that like there's a graphic that shows you game sales microtransaction sales and other
and you're looking at what is effectively like almost like 25 25 50 you know um so if you look at
their sales of the game being at that nine million which is a concern which is under the
conservative 10 million uh and then you go all right so for whatever this chunk is that represents
the amount that the game sold itself there is a much bigger twice as large chunk in terms of money
that we did not get because micro was not there and as time goes on and people stop playing it
that number gets smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller so potential to capitalize
on the on a huge star wars thing like is is overwhelmingly crushing because there's so much
infinity dollars off of this were the overall retail sales and during the same amount of time
were they higher for battlefront one did this actually yes less copies yes I think so yeah
battle for a once hold like 13 and a half million it was also like the first one out coming back huge
big thing star you know to me star was coming back in general like yeah and this time second
second rodeo you know but uh yeah it's but but I think I think um you're looking at nine million
of the conservative 10 oh no is like and this is with all the bad press right cry you still have
like that much in terms of people that just either like don't really pay attention to these things
are crazy like in the exact same time period because this guy saw the saw its numbers it was
like Mario Odyssey sold also nine million copies and let all that profit just goes straight to like
imagine if this was EA's own fucking pro like imagine it was like Mirror's Edge or whatever
and like just and now they have to deal with all this shit and like they probably don't mean make
but but the problem in the mentality though is that if we look at this we're looking at this
and thinking about it in terms of like like millions of sales and they're looking at it as in like
yes but the money difference right is just is huge so the same numbers right but like
the the the the extras that garnish are the majority of your profit so we were supposed
to sell 10 million of these and each of those 10 million was supposed to make approximately 22
extra dollars from DLC however DLC hasn't come out for it yet because we had to turn all that
shit off because of the backlash so that's 22 times 10 million units minus the million that we
so we just lost 300 million dollars because of this stupid shit you know reducing over time
for the less people um for the number of active players decreasing yeah it'll get less as time
goes on active players decrease people stop playing and they stop being engaged the engagement
number goes down the potential for that 22 dollar recoup yeah it's seen as a recoup maybe i'm naive
but i is going down over time that people want to buy and then sell it and then make that is naive
how dare you in the meantime however as as matt brought us onto the mobile train there's some
incredible news coming out from the world of ios and android phones what now have you seen
the trailer for tech and mobile i have not i have yeah tech and mobile you haven't seen this new
character no all right tech and mobile is coming soon and alongside it rodeo the new american bad ass
the big buff army bro is this straight up the anti-lucky chloe yes the big buff army bro is here
a former football star and military action man let's go rodeo toughness type he's got the military
outfit he's got the football uniform he has head butts he's got the bro leather jacket and shades
he's ready to go clubbing and he's got tough moves big bad punches and kicks he's unstoppable
that's a really sick transition in this trailer that went from two stages oh look at that football
man if you hate lucky chloe boy have we got a character for you the problem is that i
unironically like this guy i know you do of course you do it is most because he's made for you
man it's mostly because of the football thing military guys are literally in tecan but the
football is like a fun goofy thing the throw in there here comes the chad yeah that's ridiculous
that's that's awesome they literally did it bro they did it it's so weird that he's just in this he
must be coming to tecan seven uh i mean it might like if they bother it would have to be at the
same time as noctis that's right rodeo that's the best i like i i don't even know like harada is
unstoppable committed money and production and design and everything to this fucking bit because
of that salty tweet yeah i love it i love everything about it and it makes me want to play tecan mobile
it's like a fucking fighting game i assume to do with some sort of card collecting tapping
bullshit and and and the thing yeah and the thing with this too is that like it's so um
played it's played so straight yeah that if you were not aware you just think hey cool yeah exactly
right and like the fact that they even have the like the little thing in the beginning where it's
like toughness type and like all those little character breakdown factoids that are i think
that's like just general like that's how the game works but but i would say toughness type for
like king sure okay okay but i just i just feel i feel like they're playing it so straight he has
a full name though scroll up a bit because it's not it's not just rodeo like that's his like
moniker but his name is like something no and then the article he has like his name is big
mclarge huge yeah bow rodeo montana oh my god big bow bow montana
yeah
fucking chat he's over he's over now get ready for the next chat this is this is i love everything
about the fact that the joke is like you might not even detect it that's my favorite part it's
almost like harata said that and then like you know at some point some designer or something
exactly just said you know we can we actually do this something out of that i just throw in a
we haven't had a new meathead guy oh for sure for sure and like and like he and harata basically
like fucking like dust it off his love live shirt and look tilted his shades and disgust
when was the last stare at the stare at the approval drawing yeah and signed off on it that's
because that's how it works the last big bruiser type when was it like i don't think
in tech seven has one oh and tech and second seven was like you know new girl uh guys i guess
i guess that's second six there's not seven six guys is brand new oh i'm thinking of the weird
robot in tech and six the boss yeah that's a does just the guy that was the no no no guy
guess is the tentacle yeah i know i know but it was replacing marduk kind of and he's not in the
game and he's new to seven he's probably guy i guess anyway they turned guy fucking love bo montana
bo roteo montana super cool rodeo and his voice even is just like all right i wish he just he
could only say the word football or his own name i mean bo bo football yeah he's a muscle
like it's almost weird that you're not staring at him from the back holding a gun running down a
hallway yeah i want an alternate costume of him to be just a football with hands yeah and have
it like glasses and sunglasses have it animate like the Daytona usa car from fighting fighting
making mess his voice is what our british friends do when they make friends of americans yes when
they wanted when british people want to sound american and they go all right i'm speaking american
here we go so basically it sounds like an announcer let's party like we get ready for the next
battle yeah rodeo football i'm glad you brought this up because i thought you had seen this like
a while ago and you're like eh oh right so i'm gonna send you this story i didn't so yeah god bless
god bless her at a yeah keep trolling yeah super cool fly true what an asshole oh man
he's so much better at it than it got he ever was it got you would just talk shit yeah but then
nothing we resolved how rata's getting stuff done speaking of assholes oh boy
that's good willy that's really good he'll do it speaking of assholes there was a a
trailer for a movie on at the football the movie is Han Solo's movie called solo
and uh yeah there's there you get to see uh childish gambino hanging out as young lando
that's the best part of the trailer young leasy doing what he does childish lando i couldn't
landino it's child's a childish landino thank you thank you i was like almost almost there you go
this story couldn't need to be told less but a story needed to be told in between seven and eight
but this story i rather eight nine rather couldn't need to be told how did he get the millennium
falcon will never know rogue one this one like that is a minor detail that i could see being a
movie and it involves no characters so yay this one but this involves characters i don't know pat
i did clap when i saw it when darth fair show i saw it i clapped i clapped when i saw it we're
met oh man somebody i think might have been the red ladder media guys but they point out in rogue
one you know when he does the cool shot where he fucking he's in the dark with the fog and the
lightsaber comes out and it's like oh shit it's like he turned off all his life support
shit darth turns all his life support shit off on his chest so that it doesn't screw the scene up
with the blinking lights so he's literally standing there in a foggy hallway not able to breathe or
move just so he can scare everybody with his lightsaber shut up so fucking shut up so fuck you
the thing with this is that you know when you usually get a trailer for a star wars movie it
happens a year before the star wars movie comes out this is happening four months before the
movie you know why that is right as soon as because they reshot everything because they
they kicked off the really cool awesome talented directors and then replaced them with ron howard
that's correct you know you remember woolly you remember who was working on this originally uh no
the creators of clone high yes lord miller's mustaches i remember and then that kick those
talented this movie got like reshot to hell yeah like i think we're looking at the star wars
equivalent of suicide squad here in terms of editing i'd say even more like uh justice leak oh boy
it'll probably turn out serviceable yeah i want it because there's so much money i wanted to be
in land in childish landino yes i want it to be serviceable but have the movie have noticeably
bizarre cuts and tonal shifts yeah right like is this a different movie yes it is yeah yeah yeah
you'll uh you'll probably walk out of it going like that was fun yeah and that'll be that'll be
the expression well that's that's all i'm looking forward to with the star wars where i go oh yeah
that was cool they did the thing and the flight saver and and lord and miller then returned to
working on the new season of clone high right no uh they're they're doing something they're
they're doing the miles morales movie oh okay so that's also cool woolly on the star wars tech
did you see the new portman rap natalie portman natalie portman rap round to 12 years later round
to it's amazing it was amber really yep sandberg appears thank god amadala shows up oh fuck okay
you know the little interview segments were like natalie that yeah yeah yeah with parnes with parnes
now it's whatever new s and l guy i'll just tell you this but he's like so um did you see the new
star wars movies it's like no well a lot of people are saying what and then she just dressed up
i was like yeah talk about the freak was big it's that's just that's the tip of the iceberg okay
all right all right it's it's it's quite good my dick is scared of you 12 years since that
original video that's a long time that's fucked up i feel old you are old dude that's bad but that
video is older it feels like when uh we're gonna there's gonna be a time in the next 10 years where
we're talking to somebody about memes and they go oh did you were oh you were jokes you know you oh
you mean there was a time before memes when things were just jokes wow grandpa
well that's the thing with pop team epic is people like why it's not a meme show it's a
comedy show they're jokes they're like why is everything memes it's just a it's just a show
because we live in a world of gifts and memes the jokes need to be faster yeah way faster i should be
able to they should be bite-sized 12 years of meme oh no no no no no no no um well here look
how about this then how about this all right how about a quick break to take a word from
our sponsor that's a good idea fortunately if you enjoyed anything like we were discussing for the
last 10 minutes you probably have a good taste for sci-fi i do like some sci-fi right you'll if
you like dashing rogue types i've been known i've been known to be a dashing rogue the fuck you want
we're gonna just leave that open oh okay well anyway um you know i uh would like to introduce
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nope please uh get to the bottom of it thanks i'll be living it up the real question is if if
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available start started streaming on the second so it's brand new on netflix you can check it out
it's like right on the front menu i logged in and i was like oh shit i don't have time to watch this
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want to check out altered carbon on netflix thanks netflix thanks netflix thank you um
moving along there was also a trailer for the other netflix thing the clover field paradox
too late it's out so yeah we're just continuing that train jajabrams has brought us the proper
prequel to the original movie and not ten clover field lane okay so let's talk about this clover
field the original has a very secretive marketing campaign with a big air g had no name yes clover
field lane ten clover field lane had an even secret or marketing campaign was announced to exist
three months before it came out which included it being a different movie up until it being finished
production yeah this now releases its trailer and announcement of its own existence simultaneous
during this release super bowl football well the next one have a trailer three months after the
movie comes out and says by the way that movie that you saw that was actually clover no no the next
one is jabrams and crew filming the movie around you yes uh so clover field is a bit like it reminds
me of the um the the warriors games in that i'm like oh this is a franchise i didn't think it was
i thought this was a one-off i thought we were running done here and then the warriors has only
one movie but the games keep kept coming right because the person who owned the person who owned
the rights to those games was like i'm getting my money's worth but the game was mostly a retelling
of the movie though but then there was the other one that was just a generic street brawling game
and i'm not sure if you even had story i know what you're going i'm going for i'm going for like i
thought we were one and done and then we got a continuation here all right so let me explain
this to you the first one was a one and done straight up the only extra bonus shenanigans were the um
the web the website stuff which was fairly in uh fairly broad yeah the second one was also a one
and done that tried to make you think that it was not a one and done because of the name but in fact
uses that expectation to be a different one and done with a different plot twist ending
and then this one is actually related to the both of those and retroactively goes and connects them
so it's weird and the next one is frog fractions that's correct got it um apparently this one like
i just saw it like uh someone say it's actually like an anthology movie where there's three separate
stories one after the other i don't know if that's true i hadn't had time to watch i really wanted
to watch it but as soon as the fucking game was over and that that got released i'm like i'm tired
going to bed um so i don't know the trailer for this looks not at all like a monster movie you know
the trailer for the cloverfield paradox there are it's distinctly more sci-fi seems to be way more
exactly sci-fi and space light alien things happening and it's and it's apparently the
reason why the cloverfield part one story happened i this movie had an originally different title
again it was called god particle yes that's a good name and with that name i can probably ballpark
you the whole story but but but but but they had to put cloverfield in to tie it in well because
clover's in it which is the the name of the fucking the the beastie the godzilla light
dude i still think the best part of that first movie is when carla got bit by the fucking mosquito
and then she goes behind the sheet and explodes and fucking explodes yeah carla sorry you got
exploded that shit was nuts yeah that was crazy that was rough i didn't i didn't enjoy that i kind
of wish this had gone differently than what they're doing what they're doing is still kind of interesting
but i kind of wish we got like a sequel that was a sequel or was like a prequel i wish this
mythology was explained a little bit i'm not saying they're trying to yeah they're clearly
trying to do something different from just cloverfield two but it's actually two different where i'm
like okay because i saw cloverfield laying i was like okay and it that didn't give me anything that
i would have much preferred an entire series of kaiju films yeah entirely from a cut found
footage point i think a lot of people would have but i think that like the cloverfield folks
want to go very different with their franchise here and just fine but like it's two different
words they've killed another movie and then they tack on the title but that's what i was about to
say is like if you're doing that though i'm that sucks because the other way around is better to me
right like say what we will about how awful prometheus was it's awful i it's it's let it let's not
understate how bad that movie is better than isolation i covenant i still really like i like in respect
the fact that it's called prometheus yeah sure you know sure i that's that's i like that okay so this
being called the god particle and then the the no wait hold on you gotta well the the ten cloverfield
laying is extra awful because that was actually legitimately a completely different film that
was then changed to be that to be the different like in post like they didn't reshoot or edit the
movie they literally just changed the title to make it part of it there's not a single thing in
that film that has anything to do with cloverfield at all except for the implication caused by the
title there is it's nothing so it's unclear why they're doing this with the titles then and yet
still because they're like hey if we put the title on we can make frances yeah i guess i guess so
because the the the second movie it's them in a bunker with john goodman right and the original
a name of the movie i forget what it was called but it was we're in a bunker and the guy says
there's a disaster and we don't know if we believe him and that's it right and that was the whole
movie and it had you know it had its twist ending that was its twist ending etc etc right the whole
movie changes just because you call it ten cloverfield laying and imply it yeah because then the
implication is that you're in the bunker hiding from the monster from cloverfield which you're not
which you're not because it's its own fucking movie it has nothing to do with it so anyway uh
confusing the confluor the cloverfield paradox is in fact the franchise itself but uh i'd
like to watch it maybe tonight you can watch it tonight because it's wall because it says watch
now on every shoot whatever watch now um yeah everyone's going on about it's still cool to see
everyone freaking out over like it's out now oh my god well i am a big fan of ads for things that you
can go turn the super bowl off and watch this now it's just nintendo or whoever's saying that dlc
is available as soon as this presentation ends that's true i'm a big fan of announce it and it's out
that's why i love video card reviews unfortunately i got spoiled on this because i read an article
like a week ago that said they're trying to do they this might get bumped up considerably
and suddenly be on netflix and i was like yeah okay whatever i didn't believe it there's always
announce it and then it's not out for a long long long time yeah like we shed motherfucker nice donnie
in himself on instagram put up a screenshot of himself playing wait shane fucking picture looks
like someone did a bad photoshop to make it look like sleeping dogs but no that's just an actual
movie made that just happens to look exactly like sleeping dogs so donnie in sleeping dogs is i don't
care it's wassy donnie and kill some people yeah yeah that's fine do a flip kick somebody but i
german suplex but it is cool that this um like almost let's say improvised franchise from dead to
rights right no true crime true crime excuse me this improv this improvised franchise of we've
got the game we've got the engine we don't know what it is what should it be and then they put
this like theme over it yeah of china town and it became sleeping dogs it's awesome that like
isn't sleeping dogs dead now because of china town wars it's dead in the sense that they're not
making a new game but they still own the ip's but it's it's alive in the sense there's donnie
yen is there's some fucking dropped balls on that so i i i'm happy to see uh where they go at this
because i like both of those things a lot did you see my conversation with pat country the nes
punk about the unfortunate um headline for this on game spot the story what is it says star wars
actor star wars actor in talks to revive sleeping dogs movie this happens every now and then
with with all sorts of shit this is the most painful whatever this is the worst one that's game
spot by the way so this is obviously video game journals going you know what'll get people to
click on this story if we say star wars actor right that's the intention and i like get wanting to
people to click on your story but could you not have just said donnie yen to star of star wars
a rose whatever that would have been a happy medium or or you could have done the much better
thing of saying donnie yen i felt that that's it i felt that in my gut biome like i felt my
that's the worst one ever oh that's the worst one oh the only thing i could think of that would be
worse is like rush hour star jackie chan to be no just rush hour star oh yeah yeah rush hour star
no but pat the but the it's the reason why also is because that's what he is now
but that's what 2018 but the whole point of donnie yet the name the whole point of him being
in a star wars movie is that you don't you can just say donnie yen now you know what i mean yes
that should have been enough yes but no but now you're just oh no because children the whole
reason he got into star wars because he's so big that he would draw in a chinese audience no no
because children and people that just that why would they know so no go to fantasia there's no
reason for them to know when i was a kid i knew about jackie chan there's no reason for any of them
to know therefore star wars actor donnie yen you understand that said blade to god like exactly
yeah that'd be an awesome because i'm like wow they remember that donnie yen wasn't played too
that's sick but yeah he was he was he played snowman he got killed in like two seconds but he
bit but it was kenshi it was yeah yeah gerald otoro though was the one that was like yeah i got to
get donnie yen in there oh my god killed off in two seconds yeah it's also yeah fuck me that one
so so so we didn't talk about the story there's a sleeping dogs movie and it's coming out it was
supposed to come out it was supposed to be a thing like two or three years ago but now donnie yen
says sometimes great things take a bit of time donnie yen is dogs is motion yeah you guys ready for
this sleeping dogs is in fact motion i really really hope that like i'm way shen motherfucker
who are you incident better it better be the fucking stinger of the trailer no the only
way that could that could happen is if our little bits in our sleeping dog video made the same ways
that i'm a juggernaut bitch did which it did not unfortunately but that's the only way that
would have gotten that that over but i think the game pushing that as a big line i think as it could
be i'm way shen motherfucker who are you i i'm i'm thinking that could be the stinger i hope so
well all of donnie yen it does suck that like it's not actually the real actor
that is a martial arts guy right no it's um he's the guy that played yori in the fucking k o s
movie a will will something but but it never is it never is it could just be but like i'd rather
have now show me uh what was his name johnny and the stone where is that the stone in this movie
no promises bro yes no she was in the game hey hey donnie and gabe understand each other
stop it sometimes great things take a bit of time that yeah gaben and donnie yen
they understand fuck anyway um i hope this actually does come i hit that guy so hard i
of course it's mine so now we play k o f 2000
yeah but it was also yeah it's coming like four years ago and it was supposed to be coming so
like k o f 2000 on the log state they needed video game movies have the highest rate of not
act of being announced and not actually coming out they're just creating space from triad wars
that's all they're doing it's fine dude did triad wars come out what was that it did it did
what was it was that a card game pc online mmo was a moba it was a moba china town wars excuse me
no china town works the gta game triad wars for the ds you're thinking of triad wars triad wars
is the multiplayer so did you say china town wars yeah okay what he said try yeah yeah yeah
triad wars yes yeah yeah it's um it was just a moba was it like yeah it was a moba it was a moba
it's like the k o f moba where yori has the fucking ground stone and then and it has high
stage sky flying looking shit and and it had kim dong hwan and jay hoon but no like andy bogart or
um daemon yeah whatever yeah so anyway uh do you like a dinosaur i looked woolly
i love dinosaurs would you eat a dinosaur would you eat a dinosaur yeah i need a dinosaur in
like a second would you eat a dinosaur yeah oh this is a drastic world fallen kingdom official
trailer dropped during the super bowl yeah and it looks like they're just picking up where they left
yeah we just made a billion dollars so remember how everything got fucked yeah everything got
fucked well now let's get the good stuff though let's parachute those fucking animals out now we
gotta now we gotta like get watch it get fucked while we get off the island so it's like minutes
after the first movie it looks like it's taking place minutes after the following kingdom is like
yeah this is it getting like yeah and beyond the old bomb belief which is kind of unique are they
using the same fucking shot of him making nice with the raptor in this movie also uh but i mean
it's yes but it's not but yes but anyway man i think i saw angine in there yeah right um
and then of course corporate corporate evil dinosaur so they're showing yeah an evil dinosaur
that's wearing a business it's gonna be white and red and pink and it's gonna have like three
tails more claws more awesome we say it's good are they literally showing off a second manufactured
evil villain dinosaur they built an anginath is what is what's gonna happen there exactly
the summer systems but but here's the question if we slow down this trailer and look at each
dinosaur carefully yes do they have the jp mark i don't think they probably do because it wouldn't
be jp it'd be jw if anything but if it doesn't have the mark okay this jw because this is a
drastic park mind you this is a drastic if it doesn't have the mark okay it's extinct so there
there is a you're really dumb so you like you're just as dumb as me sometimes you'll never get to
my level but you're super close you're like scraping the top of my head there there is like a very
clear distinction in this new trailer of like going for like almost all dark interior shots
like remember the Jurassic World trailer how was big and open yeah well like think we'll think of um
jp jp2 right now that movie is way with darker it's nice nighttime the whole movie yeah they seem
to be trying to go for like the same thing well like this is the horror one in the trilogy it's
the dark part yeah but there were clearly daytime moments but like a lot of this trailer was in
i hope we see more people get viciously murdered so hard that they didn't deserve
we're not that secretary in the first one the go fucking no the lawyer always deserves it well no
no there was the there was the personal assistant or whatever the lady who's supposed to look over
the kids in the first one yeah like like really really team combo like by five dinosaurs unnecessarily
horribly killed i want and she was the equivalent of when you got to go you got to go right
jp1 toilet yeah no yeah oh wait i thought you were talking about jp no jp1 had toilet man
and at the lawyer when you got to go you got to go and jp2 had the split in half amongst the two
dinosaurs and then jp j world had the the lady that got picked up by the three you skip yeah i'm
skipping three yeah that all that movie sucks what what kill i don't mean i think someone gets
pulled apart by um the pterosaurs i watched it half asleep i don't remember i watched it by myself
that movie so rip off a dino crisis i am not joking but dino crisis too specifically but yeah
she gets she gets wall comboed and it's really rough because they juggle her all the way and then
the blind one gets eaten by the big one and then the big one thrashes her i want more of that
against people that don't deserve it it's so unnecessary it's crazy i still can't believe
she got it that hard for just she didn't do anything she wasn't even an evil character
by like mildly like prudish just like it's not my job to look after your fucking kids yeah basically
because it's not her job to look at no it really i still you're bringing but you're bringing up
feelings again i'm still really confused by why that yeah i want like guy the ticket guy like the guy
who just punches the tickets to just be walking along and then have like a 10 minute beatdown by
like 10 boxing but like the way it was filmed like it was shy event announcer going perfect
after she got wiped out it was you know like it was like it was really really gratuitous um anyway
so yeah that might happen we'll see but Jurassic work fallen kingdom is um
a thing a thing can we get can we get a movie series that has the balls to just start adding
more subtitles every time can we get the Jurassic worlds fallen kingdom Jurassic outcast
dark dinosaurs too
oh fuck yeah yeah i know perhaps i want to see a genetically engineered more accurate dinosaur
in this one that has feathers and all the unfettered dinosaurs look at it and all like put all their
differences aside and just kill it or or because science the one that they create is a feathered
one yeah and then everyone's looking at it like so horrified not because it's scary but because it's
an abomination and it's super uncool yeah and everyone gets really mad and then they just rip
it apart that's pretty that's exactly what i just said i know but then with extra garnishings okay
and then also after they're done they then turn and feast on its body and with blood dripping
from their mouths they turn to the scientist that said that the dinosaur should have feathers and
it should coup and paw so you know what i actually want this to go because now the Jurassic park is
like a dumb like because it was always a blockbuster series but now it's a dumb blockbuster series
i want them to just go full on and have the new one like the last one had predator cloaking right
like yeah i want this one to what was the what was the dumbest turning point of like
okay do you remember land of the dead matt remembers land of the dead time stop
dinosaur gets time stop no no in land of the dead right left there was a zombie that retained
enough of its memories that it had a machine gun sure okay i want a dinosaur that either
breathes fire shoots lasers out of its eyes or just starts picking up pistols and shooting them
randomly it starts the movie with four seconds and slowly improves as the battle goes on remember
remember though it has to be grounded because the the the camouflage that the dinosaur has
because oh there was gaps in its DNA second so we put in a lizard like an alien or some
then whatever so it could be something that another animal can do yeah but cry grow its
regrow its limb cross it with a bullet trip and then it claps like hulkin does a big fireball
big punch yeah it's blood is acid so if it sprays on you then it melts everything the universal
soldier series the first one is called shut up you i'm oh i'm asking for subtitles you're asking
for subtitles oh this is going somewhere different universal soldier universal soldier the return
yes universal soldier the regeneration universal soldier day of reckoning yes that is the most
generic subtitles compared to that there's i was hoping for a double um like a a second the back
colon you know what i mean like a second break point i don't know if we've gotten that in films
rambos the the closest we'll get to that nonsense yeah i think so first blood first blood part
terminator is also pretty bad judgment day no no no but no but but the but the what you want
subtitle the subtitle subtitle i want the original title to disappear three parts titles when rambos
the only one i can think of yeah because rambos just not rambos not a movie first blood is the series
and then ramb and then it's first blood two rambos because we need to play rambos three because we
need to play this game with with fucking uh marketing people running in circles because
the thing that they made later is now more recognizable than the original thing yeah so
they're fighting over what name to use because they want more people to recognize instead of calling
it what it should be called you know what i've been the no one's gonna know what the new dark
forces is so fucking get away from the ultimate would have been if instead of Assassin's Creed
being like a straight up spiritual successor if Assassin's Creed had in fact been a straight
up spin-off game called Prince of Persia Assassin's Creed if that's the way it had gone i might have
gone that and then and then the fight becomes extra horrible brotherhood yeah this alternate
history makes me feel gross but it doesn't it doesn't so um i know that is awful yeah just awful
and then there were a couple other things including uh i don't know where this one's gonna go but
there's a new vr controller that got patented by sony is that a control stick is that a mic
it's a lot of things going on right oh it's the new type of move that's what it is the new remove
because the move itself was never made for vr invest it's a little bit clunky it's got retrofit
it's a little bit exactly right and so it looks like by focusing on an intended vr controller you
could do a lot more hopefully uh so yeah this was kind of just though this is one of those like
spotted um patent art uh submissions so you know until we it looks like it's got stick lines coming
off of it yeah a little bit why they curvy well they're just they're just it's a stink controller
so that it doesn't look like it's part of the design itself it's technical drawing
yeah technical drawing concludes stink lines yeah anyway um okay when you see the side view
it makes a lot more fucking sense yeah yeah yeah because it looks a little hand oh it's a fucking
phaser it looks just like a phaser a little bit it's a little nunchuckish no phaser woolly from
star trek yeah yeah sure it's also a little nunchuckish though yeah so uh there's probably
that going to be coming soon oh man it looks really stinky and that shows you shows you that they uh
clearly still pushing vr even if it kills last time when they came over my house he was
he looked around and went where is it there it is the speed playstation vr on my shelf
tucked away nice and nice and neat um also oh god this oh man we get to uh we're coming back
to this this is the anthem throw all your hands up is very very smart very very smart
for this destructoid article it's a jz reference so BioWare's anthem has been delayed until 2019
this was actually in the shareholder conference thing that we mentioned earlier when talking about
battlefront in which they said to their investors and shareholders so it's going to be coming out
fiscal yada yada in 2019 but it's not really a delay because we didn't actually give a concrete
date see we didn't lie and shareholders look at that and go I guess technically um this there's
all sorts of shit in this article which includes like BioWare looking at the Star Wars disaster
and saying everyone at BioWare is doubling down on Anthem and it's gonna make or break the company
which leads to okay so if BioWare puts out Anthem and Anthem is successful you're never gonna get
any BioWare game you ever care about ever again or if BioWare puts out Anthem and Anthem is not
successful they will become the next visceral games or EA Montreal or fucking whatever and get
dissolved again like EA does to all of its fucking companies this is what happens when
you're riding off of Andromeda it's crazy it's like it's a hundred percent just you can't keep
sliding like this article might as well tell me by the way you know those that BioWare company
you liked you will never get a game you like out of them ever again well here's here's what
this there's a narrative here in the greater whole that I'm trying to build towards because
Anthem is being pushed to 19 and Anthem looks incredible yeah from what little we have actually
seen there's a whole gameplay demo yeah but there was that one thing that one thing looked incredible
yes it did look good so uh you know and yes a lot of the uh the articles and all and and
coverage is is definitely like putting this in a like this is to save the company light because
because Andromeda was a huge huge failure wasn't even actual BioWare that was their IP
run by EA Montreal which was a new studio that EA made to farm out mass effect games
like BioWare has been making a tour and they made fucking Mass Effect 3 and what the what the
fuck was the actual Dragon Age Inquisition I think was the last game they made it doesn't
like all of those did well ish it doesn't look like EA sees it the same way of course not remember
when BioWare was shit hot around Mass Effect 2 and EA renamed like five different studios variants
of BioWare and then the very next year they unnamed all of them because of Mass Effect 3's
backlash like the way that this company has been handled to like even as far back as Dragon Age
2 everyone's been going like oh the EA influence on this company is gross and now we're at the
point of like this isn't even a fucking RPG it's a fucking loot shooter yeah like
so right this is literally says in this article if this flops BioWare is done that's that's what
that's what I thought it was just you paraphrasing no no what it says all hands on deck so fortunately
things look promising and taking more time means you can make it probably better so sure
all things considered might be might be awesome and yeah they'll become the anthem company and
then I like this everything in this is like okay stop caring well I know stop caring
well because we'll think about this do you did you care about BioWare prior to the 360 generation
I came very late to the game right so if you did this says stop just stop because like and they
might as well be a different company now and like win or lose either the company dissolves
and like you're playing Kotor right now that's never gonna happen ever again unless someone else
does it unless it's somebody else which would be Obsidian now because it has actually all the staff
yeah but if telltale shut down oh well I'm just like I'd be like oh no there's no more narrative
games wait well don't not just started doing it and then we're gonna see other companies
eventually kind of you know and watch there be the Kickstarter for the spiritual successor from
the people that left the company to work on something that is actually like what the people
wanted to work on over the years that we're in but over the years they weren't there was not enough
members of the bioshock team probably because they yeah and they've wanted to do this for years
but they couldn't because internally there was always pressure to do the other thing so you know
that's not new that's just that's how the games industry has been for a long time oh no that's
how games industry has been upon studio acquisition by large by mega large publishers yes which is
what brings us to our next step of the story taking your ball and going home I told Willie
about this a few days ago and he said fuck you know that's a lie that's crazy but you thought
I was making it up because it is crazy Microsoft is looking to just straight up buy electronic
art so that's probably the best thing Microsoft can do because they seem to struggle putting out
games yeah and or like you know competing yeah so Microsoft has the games and I'm not even talking
about Microsoft games division Microsoft the company has a very very long history of not liking to
compete getting slammed with anti-compete shit and then going hmm what if we just bought our way
into competing what are you just so there is an there's a very very real like consideration here
that if this rumor were true and if they started making those moves and whatnot well first of all
the EA so large that there's no way it would be going uncontested there would be tons of problems
on a like individual this would also be a very long term of course these things take like five
ten years and each company that EA owns would have its own say you know and whatnot but um the
the idea that Microsoft would buy out a company like EA would then mean that like if we can't beat
them just take the games away just and make them add in away from so here's the thing if you take
EA away from PlayStation 4 you're taking more than you're taking sports you're taking hold on
that's actually the most so the most important thing is that your internal gut reaction goes
oh X-Bone wants to get the med and then the FIFA right because those are possible yep however I
thought that and then I went wait a second and then I looked it up and the reason why EA has the
license from the NFL in particular is the NFL wanted to sell it to one company it was not the
other way around it was the NFL back in the day said hey Sega hey EA fight it we're going to sell
to one of you part of the contracts for FIFA and uh NFL are and it's why the Wii U and the
fucking Wii always got these dog shit ports is that it has to release on every platform
as part of the licensing arrangement right so it's like you cannot take an NFL game away from
Sony or Nintendo it's kind of like Microsoft was ultimately smarter to not just put Minecraft on
their own shit they publish Minecraft on every platform yeah because you act you make more money
that way rather than if you just released it maybe on just one console so even if they did
buy EA those games assuming they kept the NFL license would ironically still come out on
PlayStation PC and the switch but it would mean that that Xbox got a cut of Sony's football
sales yeah or football sales okay so not everything would be affected by that no some things would
it would shift the profit from one direction to the other so anything Respawn works on would
suddenly be anything by our anthem for example yeah 100 let's take a look at the list and there's a lot
these are companies you're looking at yeah like owned by EA right EA studios owning Bioware uh
DICE uh EA every country in the world yes criterion if they made anything uh there's an EA
Russia pop cap they just translate things in russian says of course the Sims Respawn uh
motive up yeah no motive motive made the single player for uh battlefront too okay okay uh ghost
games that's criterion that's actually criterion okay what they actually own ghost games too yes
yeah crazy yeah but they're also not a lot wait no oh so um it's huge it's it's a big
serious companies and they and EA despite its issues does make a lot of money and I'll tell you
what like if you want to force people's hand into buying an Xbox that don't have one that's one way
to do it yes and it's not out of a oh shit that's awesome I gotta go play play that game on that system
it's no no you're used to playing this game and now the only place to get it is here that's correct
it's a negative and and you know the fun part is that to those people that are listening to this
podcast who I would put in the more savvy gameplay slash purchasing audience I'd like to think so
this means almost nothing because it's like hey because like EA EA behaves badly and then people
say boycott EA and it's like I'm already de facto boycotting EA because they don't put games that I
want out anymore right here's the thing that I saw you're just not purchasing yeah it's not boycott
I just yeah yeah yeah I saw Liam talking to someone on Twitter about this where they're like oh I was
really excited for this game but then I saw it's published by EA that sucks I'm not gonna buy it
but it's fee it's the really cool dark looking platformer that looks like you control the gods
that you uh that you get powers from in Twilight Princess they're really cool designs and he's
like no buy that game if you want it so they'll know to maybe release games like that not buying it
is literally what causes EA to do bullshit you don't like so and I agree with that so I hope
that this deal goes through as fast as possible because and this is from a curiosity perspective
I want to see how big of a company can Microsoft kill with its terrible first party management
they have killed many many companies underneath well here's the fun thing is that looking at
terrible got terrible really fast well what's interesting what's interesting about this list
right now we see here is that it's very long a list of the current studios electronic arts
owns immediately following it is the defunct list which is probably it's almost as long equally of
but but it also has like a bunch of like mythical studios on it like old frog mythic visceral westwood
mythic so it's like axis it's it's kind of it's kind of poetic because EA is a visceral visceral
EA is a company that both built and acquired many companies and through a very various
circumstances corporate culture and dedication to more business like they have killed a bunch of
profitable studios because they didn't fit their type of profitability and microsoft is the same
so I would be very interested to see what microsoft would do to EA upon purchasing it and like I shut
EA down see what happened to like have fucking microsoft do to EA what EA did to bullfrog or
microsoft did to the fable studios like just yeah like or the fucking oh the guys making
i'm just does it not to me from dust remake just like tell EA to do it and then EA does it and
they're like no we didn't want that haha jk as far as I know not not not in the not really um I don't
think they're closed down but uh yeah they probably make garbage the idea to me is just like on a
consumer level right on a consumer level at the very least it's like the the idea that like um again
it's in you're right in that it's a long-term thing so it whatever the results of this were
it would be the next generation yeah it wouldn't be the current one so you wouldn't be looking many
wheels are in motion you wouldn't be looking at suddenly oh fuck you have to go buy a next bone
it like you know instead of a ps4 or whatever it we were talking about later Scorpio and and ps5 right
so I'm excited for a hundred EA based scale bounds uh or just or just a presentation where it's
like the xbox conference is the EA conference yeah they're one in the same and every single
trailer says exclusive on it and they mean it because it's it's it's uh you're fighting its
competition through denial as opposed to appeal can you just run and manage a bunch of game studios
like Sony and Nintendo do is that that hard yeah your other competitors do it just fine because we
don't know what makes games good but they do they've made good games when you get microsoft game studios
has made many good games over the years yeah but the people making the decisions don't understand
that part they understand the business when you get so big but they don't but they don't understand
the business end of it well yeah but they have they have degrees that certify that when you have
studios to manage people's wound up looking like losers look at these losers because we have so
we have such a wide losers you like get your own losers yeah get rid of these losers their last
thing didn't profit a lot well we didn't really market it well they're losers looks like a loser
to me looks like it's the mistinky losers over here about winners westwood yeah I mean the e the
fucking microsoft games division has literally not made one dollar in its entire lifespan
not a single red cent um yeah it's uh it's a very interesting way to play out the next generation
of video games and the curveball I and the fact that again it would take the course of this like
length of time it's smart in a way because the the time where you can make this move and upset
the least amount of people is when they're buying a new console anyway yeah yeah right when they're
going to spend that money anyway then they get pushed into a fuck that's an amazing incentive
as opposed to like mid-generation I've already bought it fuck you kind of anger I I I would be
so I think this rumor's real but I would be astonished if Microsoft like larger corporate
Microsoft actually got a deal they were happy with for the games division because like that
games division has never made any money they poured so much money into it and the acquisition of EA
to prop up or help out that game division that's big man they'll be paying that off for another
generation or two if it works out perfectly like that's such a big fucking acquisition that's crazy
remember to register your EA account on internet explorer edge upon purchase for sick hot content
downloads like sick hot content it's really funny disgusting vile content because we have we have EA
Activision and Ubisoft of the evils right and they keep flipping around EA had that one good
period in 2008 yeah yeah I was just thinking about it and Ubisoft's edge in dead space Ubisoft always
has that period of like two months of a year where they say the stupidest fucking ever thing about
piracy or some shit yeah and then Activision's just consistently evil the games business is not
profitable the money business is profitable yeah you got to make more money and when you're in the
money business we look at what works and what doesn't work and what works has been proven
we've seen it it's all the gross things that we hate but they work and they make money until
therefore until they don't work you play this dance with those companies switching hands and doing
dosido and then hot and then hot potatoing around the chairs until musical chairs happens and then
we see what happens right all of that switcheroo is simply knowing what works and knowing it's
profitable and courting it but not actually taking it to bed because if you do everyone
hates you for too much too much but you gotta you gotta keep dancing though I have a rebuttal for
this and this is the only time I'm ever gonna say good things about Nintendo's business acumen
Nintendo puts out a product and it sells like crazy and they make a shit zillion dollars
but then they have to have a shit generation later yes they just have to make sure to have
a good one and sell you some boxes but nobody looks at Nintendo and starts vomiting out of
consumer disgust they go Nintendo's so fucking weird why are they like this but like hey make a
product it's really good make a shit zillion dollars that's a really good way to go about your
business like it it's we've been at this for a long time yes you know what I mean like there are
known like this industry okay well there are known quantities here there are knowns and it is
established how you get filthy fucking rich but you and you just have to like keep that like
evil fucking horribly profitable thing around you you know because you can never get rid of it
because it's too good you know what's weird is that Nintendo's in that B sort of way we're like
we're not so big that we constantly have to be making money to keep ourselves afloat
and we're spending so much money but we're not so small that we're actually like this company that
kind of just we just have to do well every so often which is not not a lot of companies can do
like not a lot of developers are in that space anymore you're either indie or you're owned by EA
it seems like right now Japan is a different thing Japan's always different Japan's always
different but like North America and the world at large it's like yeah but but but of course but
like like we live in a world of Zelda DLC packs because they'd be insane not to they'd be insane
and that's that's what i'm trying to get hey also the status quo where it suddenly becomes insane
not to means you held out yeah but but also the way that but that's not the world we live in the
way that Nintendo has done its DLC packs is hey here's a really good DLC pack you should buy it
because it's good um and then they make a shit zillion dollars oh you mean oh you mean expansion
packs yes yeah yes that thing that existed back since like 89 yeah you know it's just a Nintendo
an expansion pack is a fine purchase has has resulted in their DLC is better because it's older
it's that last generation ago DLC where it's like here's a DLC pack with a bunch of crap
it's moderately priced hey you want to hear some fucking extra bonus dumb shit about Microsoft
have you guys even heard of Windows 10 s no do you even know what that is no that is a new
operating system that has come out and has been killed by Microsoft by the time you have
heard it is now dead Windows 10 s is the their chromebook fucking uh uh competitor it is a Windows
10 OS that's been stripped down and it only uses apps off the Windows app store so it's just the
tablet mode basically just the tablet mode the metro OS can only run apps from the Windows store
which let's all remember is the shittiest store ever that thing that i've spent hours getting my
computer to suppress as hard as possible guess what now with the death of the Windows 10 s
operating system they've realized you know what the solution is to get people on the Windows store
Windows 10 will soon be getting an update that will have the Windows 10 s mode available as one
of the defaults you can choose for all Windows 10 installations i already have the metro desktop
no well you have to boot into the version that only allows you to use the Windows app store
that's nice and maybe it'll be the default on factory installations of certain things can i
use the Microsoft edge you have to can i give edge a shot no yeah you can when you go to change
your default browser away hey give edge a shot so if anybody's not super familiar with what will
he say who you should be when you go to change your default browser in Windows 10 it literally goes
hey you you've barely even tried edge man you sure you don't want to you sure you want to switch
i like you barely even really try we can see that like you've loaded it up the once to download
chrome first grams free first grams free we really detect that your mouse goes crazy when you notice
that you've accidentally opened up edge and you very quickly press the quit button you didn't even try
it's like when you go to take the windows explorer edge button off your taskbar it was
really like come on like like this is the most action i've seen in months it blows my mind after
all these decades windows is the most popular because you can run anything on it and every
fucking two or three years they go what have we locked it down like apple apple makes so much
money with their lockdown shit well everyone hates it and they won't buy it what the aww crap
well it's like the youtube game um it's similar in the in the way where there's a time when you
become the de facto platform and it's not profitable anymore because there's you're so big and out
there that there's you're not making money to support how big you are and microsoft has been in
that place for fucking infinity windows has always made all of its cash via enterprise
because well but but that and that became that became a model eventually because at first it was
just selling boxes of windows 95 and then selling boxes of windows 2000 and so on and so forth and
then like hey how about your company pays us a hundred billion shit zillion dollars yeah and
then we provide windows for you forever yeah sir a hundred billion shit zillion is not a real
monetary yeah it is now i i i don't know where i heard shit zillion dollars recently but i
fucking love it no but uh you know so like at a certain point you just want to maintain your
domination and it costs and it's a nation if you would yeah and and maintaining maintaining
absolute control is more important than making a profit yeah so that's amazon's method of doing
business yeah it's many many many many many large amazon makes no money but it owns the entire online
retail space that's more important yep because eventually it will make money and it'll also
own the entire online retail space the moment you allow anyone to like even stick their head up
any any youngling cracks it's it's it's little beak through the shell young jedi it's peaks its
head up through the shell and you snuff it you snuff it out of existence because this is your
space head off this is your air seriously though like i can see absolutely no downsides to anyone
from microsoft buying ea because they deserve each other i guess so it's that corporate culture
meshes like shit and more shit on a shit sandwich yeah that was a good yeah they'll have a good time
on shit and puke there we go the campus they'll they'll everyone games by an ign merged how fucking
dumb that was um it's like that ziff davis media no that's games no but i mean no but i'm saying
like them and ziff zd net as a whole just every other website that they brought under their their
heel their their boot heel um yeah we've seen it we've seen it from everyone game spot bought
giant bomb and then yes i do that was very recent that was like two years ago yeah it was
yes anyway um maybe we shouldn't have fired that guy maybe we should take some emails
hey i got some emails in here wait wait woolly where would you send an email to best friend cast
at gmail.com that's crazy man that's super best friend cast at gmail.com please don't buy our email
section microsoft we need it actually please buy our email section they probably overpay for it
like crazy yeah maybe we don't know what this is and uh just i guess a reminder um that the
podcast is available on many platforms how many platforms too many so many platforms um because
actually uh it's it's you know i forget sometimes that like the things where you talk about the
podcast and you tell people where to go if you put them in them then there's a chance that
the people that hear it might know where to go and what to do so uh the podcast is now available
on soundcloud it's now available on uh the website super best friend cast.com it's available on
itunes it's on it's always been on itunes yeah it has friendster it's on it's on shut up it's on
Spotify you can get it there you can get it on Napster most like podcast addict slash most
podcast app things etc it's in a whole lot of places um so uh be sure to uh go to your favorite
and uh hit that rss feed and do your thing all you icq fans out there i hate icq where it's
available hit enter for space get out of here gotta use your mouse to fucking talk to people
unless it was the one where you everyone could just talk um and see what you type as you type it
is available on msn does remember that one i remember that one
if you're going to a discord server where somebody hasn't disabled the text of speech
privileges no it's the worst no i haven't what's that like you just type in slash tts and type the
dumbest shit you can think of and the robot will forcibly read it out loud to everyone in that
discord server and then that person will learn you can transcribe a whole fucking podcast into a
discord server with tts wow just fucking read that stupid shit out wow i would take like 10 hours
left wow yeah so no that's uh that's i like if you go there it's actually on the um on our on the
site that's that's up the the the the new 2017 site there's a the lists include like itunes
all of them fancy but itunes google play store social media um ellipsin the rss feed directly
podbean soundcloud spotify stitcher and more wow wow oh that shit's invaded my fucking mind so bad
you know what else is going to invade your mind all right the next email yeah
whatever it may be we got i better get a real mind invader on this one coming in from speaking
well invasions yeah theodore wants to know hey guys uh pat brought up the company tensent
which is apparently the hugest company and in giant bomb it appeared again in the rumors
uh that they're trying to buy valve that makes sense what is this company no one's buying you
you're not familiar with tensent no no the oh they're not they're asking tensent is china's big
china ea style game company that runs everything out in ea they run monster hunter online they run
for all the fucking mobas they they they are they are china named after a very popular calypso song
yeah that was for those who know okay that was for you should have read the room man the morlock
sent five cent tensent dollar sent five cent tensent dollar uh dollar dollar it's okay man black
people don't worry about it tensent like to buy things yeah why do you know and tensent tensent
like their esports and their mmo's and buying valve would get them csgo and dota yes which would be
an astonishingly profitable acquisition valve is not going to sell no one buying so like part of
that story with the the of uh of microsoft looking to buy ea was microsoft was also looking to buy
uh valve and they got a comment from gabe and the comment was like what yeah the company is going to
burn to the ground and disintegrate before somebody buys it yeah like they are that that company is
100 privately owned and they will never sell because they're all rich they don't care so good luck with
that tensent it just makes me feel like there's a smaller child version of 50 cent running around
one that wants to buy things 120th of his size and just dime dime dime piece uh
let's see we got one coming in from chris says hey super best game shillers
um here's the question um cited that monhorn world is out and all this content's being released
but i'm waiting to get it on pc uh have you ever waited to get a game that was going to come out
on a different console wait yes or on pc that was already out or something else did you bite
the bullet and get it on both the irony is that the only game i i did this for that i can remember
is received for on the gamecube because i didn't have a gamecube and i waited till i bought a gamecube
very very cheap like what it was they got i feel like it got down to like 99 dollars at one point
and i got it and i picked up yeah there's 99 dollar gamecube i picked up all the reasonable
games on it and just and win waker if i if i if i like the thing enough that i i want to i want to
play it quickly without switching inputs sometimes i'll do that that's the absolute like limit of
disgusting behavior like i have it on the 360 or i have it on the xbox or i have it on the play
station can't buy my inputs on the t on the on the pc right now can't be arsed um i guess i could
not i could not afford another console but i just did wait to play re2 fully from like start to finish
on the n64 because i played a bit of my friends i'll be like yeah i got awesome i can i can't
play this on my own time and you keep telling me to go home so i can't stay here forever and play it
so i just wait for re2 and then i bought that uh but other than that anytime i could afford it
and if it was a game i really wanted i'd get the console as an adult who puts too much money on
games i'm past that point now if i if it come out and i want i get it uh oliver says read the news
properly woolly it's not yosp just wanted to say it's not shuhei yoshida that will be replacing
sony ceo kazu right it's kenny chiro yoshida uh i don't know a whole lot about this dude i know he's
had an important role in the high executive ranks of sony and he was summoned chosen by kazu right
to initially lead the company alongside others to yoshida take over his spot it's a different yoshida
good job woolly now i can't is that a brand new email we all saw that name fuck you i don't read
don't even try the news you all saw and looked at it i asked you if i could shit post at the new
edisonia on twitter and you said yes that that's still you had to ask we all balls exposed don't
drag us down in your your balls are already out oh this muck feels great on my balls it's pretty
warm actually i could go for some more um okay here let's try this one joe p says hey monster
mash in the gave yard smash boys um five months into my first office job and i noticed one of the
most underhanded tactics i've ever had the misfortune of coming across in every bathroom the toilet
paper rolls would be crushed up into an oval shape apparently this is a cost saving ploy
to uh ensure that you could never take more than a small section to use at the time and it would
limit unnecessary bathroom time and toilet paper waste that's awful what it meant in reality was
that you could only use one sheet at a time you need more than one what's the worst shady office
work dealing you've ever experienced or heard about to keep the working man down never stops
never stopping joe p uh i always talk about wet naps because that became a statement that what that
the fuck it became a statement uh at the company i was working at a while back ago like like when
i was doing qa uh there was a point when me and uh the guy i was working with we're just sitting
there and looking around and we're watching as each cost effective uh new plan can't rolled out
and how disastrous it was because it was so desperate and that it was poorly thought out it
would always lead to bigger problems than the one was every single time and the our favorite
because it all culminated eventually after our buildup of like nope change this roll that out
got rid of this um just just little little quality of life things going away as opposed to coming in
you know and um the one that we we got down to was wet naps because uh once upon a time
a standard thing to do at the end of a day of test was to go around to every uh aisle
and hand out wet naps for everyone to wipe their controllers keyboards and mice down
and then your hands that's great and go home that seems very nice clean your clean your station
and and head out sweaty and you would lie everything everything right and then at the
same time you know you'd use and you could then whatever like the the the cleaning people would
then pass by clean up the rest and everyone's fine uh there was also a place over at the front
of the office where there was a bucket of like wet naps you can go grab it anytime if you needed
yeah if you sneezed on your shitter yeah that was eventually uh considered too too much of a cost
and in trying to save everywhere they could uh it included not having wet naps oh it would
save like 80 bucks a day on this shit if we just got on all wet naps we got rid of wet naps we
stopped handing them out no more wet naps available for your pulling and no more uh cleaning at the
end of the day and live in your own we literally watched people get more sick at the office over
time and would see everyone missing how much money is that what's the project oh that much okay
that's that much money you're not getting today because you have less test right that's that there's
that much money because you know like what you got 30 people working on it and three people miss
10 days right that's right a whole day gone and and certainly like and you were going to pay this
person whatever they were at and and so on and so forth and it was like okay so the moment
one person gets sick for one day the cost of your wet naps is immediately evaporating
and it was like you fucking morons you don't understand it's like this is not something
that you look at and go oh yeah no save that 80 bucks there it's it's always it's so stupid and
shortsighted it's this corporate thing you look at and of course it wasn't limited to one person
it happened everywhere you look at it from back to front instead of front to back you go hey
what are we spending money on this what can we cut and still do our jobs this and at no point
someone asked hey wait why do we do that in the first place yeah and if your answer is oh so people
don't get fucking sick and if you were lucky your quality assurance coordinator your qac would be
sitting at the end of your row and you'd have his own bottle of squirty fucking hand wipe for you
if you were lucky that he that he or she would bring in but for the most part the enforcing of
that also of course when people come in and they never had that it doesn't become a whole thing
hygiene goes down like you watch it happen and so like once we had that moment of calculation and saw
that occur it then became a thing where we walk in see something else is gone see whatever you know
what I mean like oh the guy whose job it was to like handle the hardware and and like not have this
tangled controller mess inside this closet over here he's he's sick oh you got rid of that
no no you got rid of that person you got to go figure it out yourself now because that person
left and and and you didn't fucking replace them hey man wet naps you know it just became the all
catch all for oh everyone's lives are more miserable and the company's making less money
as a result of your stupid incompetence hey man wet naps so that's the first with a bullet to me
I know one that's not really it wasn't it was meant to get more money but wasn't really meant
to save cause it wasn't like cheap idiots or whatever but there was two things a guy at one
of the testing places was working out was like a guy that's like I have these bold new ideas
one of them went through and one of them did not so he goes for our clients I'm going to give them
like the spiel where I'm like your room that you have your game being tested in is completely locked
down there's gonna be a code on the door and only people that are hired on your project will be there
there'll be no miscreants from other groups and that guy if he doesn't know anything about your game
he's never gonna see it don't worry that they instituted they put in these stupid door codes
with the big buttons and you'd forget it you'd whatever I need to actually talk to a guy in
there about like a technical issue whatever it can't can't fucking fuck knock what I need to
start no no what do you want I need to talk to so-and-so all you can he's busy I'm like
I need to talk to him on break like I was told not to let anyone else in except for him or him
like bosses fine already so stupid right and this was like this is that room this is that room
then there was like this negative sort of almost turf like behavior like get out of our room
like this is our room we're on this special that's why we have it sealed off so that you
plebs can't get in here this is our special project and you know whatever and it was like
really standoffish and like when I started working there was just these doors had the
fucking things frosted so you couldn't see in so you can even see if the motherfucker you wanted
to talk to was in the goddamn room in the first place I mean this is the one that was instituted
tell you about the one that was not okay because I was like that's so standard from where you know
like that just that became such a bog standard thing for security purposes that cold rooms and
lockdowns and whatnot freeze projects were often contingent on no one else in the office knowing
about them right I know you went through the same sort of thing yeah so it always became a thing
where they just kind of went look use the instant messaging to talk to the person you need to talk to
I wasn't allowed well then you only at the time I became a lead yeah but at the time I couldn't
well that's a whole other yeah or like that's a whole other like I can't get through this level
or I don't know like the fucking command like though there's a guy that was working on it like a
month ago well where is he oh he's in on that room he got moved to that project number right the one
that did not get instituted this guy was like I'm gonna put in cameras and the cameras will show
live feeds to our clients to always let them see how many people are working on the game so we never
feel like that we grift them awesome we're gonna have 12 people on your project and then for the
click of a button they could see it they could see how many people are given just to keep their
eye on us this did not get instituted because it was gonna cost too much money to install all this
shit and secondly the clients are like that's fucking creepy yeah this was just I don't want to do
that this is just a rumored reason where I just heard from one of the leads at the time we're like
yeah like the main client who is pitching to which I believe was Lucas arts at the time
they're like no we don't need that we trust you to do the work yeah yeah but like no but here's
to make sure that you can change that would you would you like to see our whips yeah change
that's that's that's the dumb we have such a display of whips and change for you that's the
dumbest choose because they pitch that to the company but it has nothing to do with the company
because the company expects the work to be done that's to fuck with the employees but I think
to make sure that they don't take breaks that's what everyone thought too they're like oh no that's
the catch just see if I'm sleeping which I do a lot periodically will periodically will send you
the client a text and it simply reply yes if we should stop beating our employees and don't reply
if you approve um I've personally never worked in an office so I don't have any office stories
I got one for you but okay that's why I have worked a retail job and retail has its own
cost saving shenanigans so as I mentioned before I used to work minimum wage bagging at a grocery
store for many years why because everything sucks and world is not fair but so used to be when you
close the store guess what when you close the store stuff's got to be put away stuff's got to be
cleaned up stuff's got to be moved around places got to be closed right this includes warding off
the cut the asshole customers that desperately need milk at 10 20 p.m when the store closes at 10
right it used to be that you would be scheduled to 10 30 right because I mean you're you're
actually only going to get out at 10 30 and if you're coming in early say the place opens at seven
you get scheduled at 6 30 because I mean you're coming in for for 6 30 and then you're getting
all your shit ready and you're you're you're working to get the place ready at some point
under new management after the old management got caught embezzling all the money from the head
company as you do uh the the corporate manager and so the private manager came in and said that's
dude why are you all right so hey pat you're doing the closing shift right like yeah you're
scheduled till 10 I go great I love finishing early 10 rolls around punch out what the fuck
where are you going it's 10 we're done well no you have to close up but you're you're so the way
they wanted it to work was that you would stay the extra until you were actually needed then
punch out but because of the way that the punch cards work in this place you have to get on the
minute signed from your boss or else it's not valid for your paycheck but because of the way
kebek labor laws work if you punch out there's no fucking way you're doing a single minute of work
yeah you cannot punch back yeah you are done yeah and you you're pretty much legally required to leave
every night for like months every single employee the same fight with supervisors who didn't care
who just didn't care and the morning one's even worse because they say come in you start at seven
you know what you have to do to open a grocery store at seven in the morning you got to do
newspapers you got to do some cleanup you got to do you got to put the the mats out you got to do
all this shit so you come in at seven and you start and somebody comes out goes why the hell the
newspapers why is it done it and in some cases because you didn't get there early enough the
newspapers would be stolen by the homeless people to get sold down the street it's like well i'm
starting it's just just yeah just to save it's half an hour a night on three employees
it's it's any any job that requires overtime where you don't want to acknowledge the overtime
and like that's why kebek has those laws yes and it's why no i punched you can't you're not even
supposed to talk to me right and the other one that i have is my dad where he he was working at a
factory this is his old guy from the old era and he works at a factory yeah and his job was
essentially to make sure nothing exploded so he would check hey these bars are good this this
machine is working fine uh this test went properly your your measurements are in order
right that stuff to up and then the guy he was working with the guy who did his job on the second
shift unfortunately became extremely deathly ill for many years and had to leave and was on sick leave
so they said hey uh you should just when you're in just do his job too
well do i get paid twice a little you get paid like one point one times as much oh oh and don't
don't work more hours just do both tasks yeah just do double the tasks oh yeah yeah yeah the task
that is essentially safety checks yeah what is that no we're not going to pay you more over time
than we would normally pay you we'll pay you the overtime that you normally accrue but we're and
and every office has that oh no the oldest the oldest in the book is absolutely the uh the two
man job is gone the one of the guys is left now you do both just do both and well do i get a race
get a little raise yeah no um well you'll be working a lot more hours so you'll make more money
you'll have more like authority people have to listen to you uh yeah no the oh my god dude yeah
it's it's 101 whenever overtime would happen and they're like where well where's the money for our
meal yeah oh yeah there isn't any today well i guess i'm not working today
because your life would depend on that meal so working in qa working in the trenches in particular
had a um okay you need you need to specify that because people don't know that what the trenches
the trenches is the qa nightmare yeah is the fucking just generally any job yeah i guess it is yeah
but i mean in qa you're referring to the trenches it's you know you're in the fucking pit you know
with your test kit and you're just you're doing the mindless activity all day hoping for something
something hoping for the definition of insanity which is do this enough times maybe something
will be different all the 81st try maybe you'll enter a bug maybe you'll catch a bullet maybe you'll
get fired god god willing um no so uh you learned the definition of nausea right especially working
with the brits nausea and a us e right and it is it is the word it is a catchall word for like
just a um an underlying level of unnecessary annoyingness to things uh and so much of the you
know that's such a nausea why are you being a nausea that's like everything about the job contained
nausea right so you're operating with that as a normal given and and the thing that's that's
understood and i remember one day uh i got put on mobile where's working the phone games and
as pre smartphone games i'm sure pre smartphone games for sure and this was now uh you uh because
that's hell because you're just on these different fucking handsets and and it was a day where they
were piloting a new system oh god and the system was the one where upon locking your computer's test
kit and taking your break the clock started and the little clock would show you how much break time
you have left in the day and if you go to the bathroom you're deducting from that time and you
see exactly or not deducting it's adding up rather and it's showing you how much time you've been
away from your your your your kit holy shit that single thing one that single one factor
will make anyone even the best employee you have go from having a mildly irritating but otherwise
productive day to the most stressful annoyed high-strung they've ever been because that number
is there to tell you how much of a shit employee you're being and it's the definition of one of
those little systems that they roll out that you can buy that pretty much only exists to torture
the people that work for you you know and even if no one acts on it even if your your boss doesn't
show up and go hey man you but you know or whatever it's just the number that's there to
constantly scratch away at you and fuck you up it's like your spawn and your fucking life counter
the number counter for spawns powers nine nine nine nine going down every day it's it was insane
dude and like obviously they didn't roll that out in the greater screen to the rest of the company
got to beta but because it's just it's like I can feel the articles being written about this thing
about how devastating it is to your mental state just like by lunch I was fucking done like I'm
like I just don't you know you don't want to be there you don't want to deal with this because
even if you get up for the 30 seconds to walk to get your your drink from the vending machine and
walk back there's that number this psychological torture dude this has reminded me of three
different awful things one is hey retail employees you see retail employee with a name tag guess what
they hate that name tag sure that name tag exists so that a customer that has a fake problem
can get them in trouble with their boss and that's the only reason so the customer who is lying and
trying to steal from the store can go and say hey pat was a dick to me and then I'm like check the
cameras like no we don't have time to check the cameras just apologize no two that sounds like a
really real story yes it is two is the grocery store I worked at had faulty uh freezers for the
meat and the ice cream every fucking month they would just turn off and they would do that thing
the grocery store freezers do where they they would turn off and that means all the ice that
has built up in the machine just starts to leak out in infinity water oh yeah just infinity and you've
been you were used to go to that store yeah yeah you would go in and it's just a swamp so what they
would do is they would take a person from every department in the store and say you are mopping
the floor the entire day instead of instead of calling a guy here's where it gets really nuts
instead of calling somebody that morning to come over and fix it they would have
like five or six employees mop the entire day and blow their entire shift wasted so that they
could wait until the not busy after dinner hour to call the plumber and save on the guy coming down
and if it broke at night they would have the night crew mop all night and not do their job
just so they could wait until the morning to call to call the plumber to come in so because the
rate would be low god fucking forbid replace that's just smart that's just that's just good business
I was there eight years those bridges broke every single month for the entire eight years I was there
hundreds of shifts gone instead of buying new fucking ones that's what you call smart money that's
smart money hundreds and but the worst whatever you talk about the pilot we had something like
that actually instituted you used to have punch cards just standard-ass old-fashioned punch card
you see like yeah dating back to the 50s yeah push it in stamps the time yeah push it in stamps
the time that's it too many people are taking five extra minutes on their 15 minute break so
that they can actually eat food on their four hour and 59 minute shift so that we only have to give
them the one break so we have implemented a new system the new system will log your time it's not
gonna punch it into a card it's now logged into a computer that your supervisor can pull up at any
time and in order to log your time you have to punch in your ID number which no one remembers
because we didn't have ID numbers prior to this and in addition to your ID number you have to
verify it with your fucking fingerprint wow I thought retinal scan for sure with your fucking
fingerprint biometrics there you go so there you go so this is minimum wage employee yeah
you have your 15 minutes now biometrically register your fingerprint so that you're allowed
to go on break now in addition this is a 15 minute break how long does a punch card take
one second yeah how long do you have to wait behind somebody so that the line of people
biomech oh it didn't work okay again okay it didn't work it okay so you would do perhaps more than
five minutes and you count it on your thing it's like okay I have 15 minutes starting now
but it took you five minutes to do that so when you come back you get yelled at by your boss
because you actually took 25 minute break because of the extra time you had to use on the fucking
fingerprint reader the so they for minimum wage baggers and cashiers why wouldn't you put the
money for the for the biometric fingerprint scanners into your freezers and just buy new
freezers I don't get it biometric freezers fingerprint scanners must be way more expensive
than two there's probably fucking ten billion dollars so you know what this you know what this
you know what this led to this led to a situation hey the computer says you took 25 minutes on your
break yeah what you write fire me yeah yeah right well we can't fire you because you've been here
for longer than six months and the union's really strong actually okay so I'm just gonna take however
fucking long a break I want and just walk out of the store because I don't give a shit
oh boy it led to that yeah with almost every single person in the staff and it's like
you've created a new bigger problem by just oh my god but you know someone comes in and
they're a consultant that has to find ways to save money save time yeah I I have a dream almost
every week in which I wake up going man I gotta quit my fucking job I gotta call the store and just
and then I get confused I had that was school where I still think I legit get confused and go
oh I haven't worked at the store in like five years yeah and I've gone that with testing
too earlier I'm like yeah I'm really enjoying being a youtuber I really wish I could fucking quit
my testing job and I think to myself I can I'm probably doing really well yeah yeah and I'm like
but I just I'm just not I'm still testing for some reason yeah yeah yeah like no there's there's
stories of the like like personal assistance waking up in the middle of the night going oh
I gotta get I got guess what you spend most of your life doing it because it just programs it's
into you in a like like trauma reflex kind of way yeah you know that was fun I remember walking
by the store one day and then saying hey we need you get in here and you just like I guess I guess I
got it and I went it's my day off one and it's boxing day two no and they're like we're gonna
talk about this on Monday I'm like motherfucker just casually it's my day off you don't get to do that
why are you hanging around there because it was in the next shopping center it was the mall
yeah just just just casually like like you happen to be going that direction yeah I just walked by
and my boss saw me and said hey get in we need you no yeah okay what do you mean you look okay
get in like okay for a second that's still pretty funny but for a second because I yeah you're here
that's coming up for a second I thought you met recently you walked by and someone said that and
you just had a fucking like flashback if that happened I would go crazy yeah like I thought you
just paused and wait for us do you have a moment of do I have to do what he said I thought it would
be like it would go even further where you're half putting on the smock or whatever yeah and you're
like wait no no and you throw it down on the floor I was back to the gnomes I was in that store
recently buying paper towels and I like I thought like I wiped something off my jacket like dust
from uh from a cab or something and I saw my hand was dirty and I went to walk in the back
to wash my hands before realizing what the the fuck am I doing oh fuck it's not even the same
layout they've completely rebuilt the whole store and oh my god yeah I haven't been there
in years that's gonna be with you till the day you die motherfucker that's not going anywhere
because I don't live anywhere near there anymore so like there's no reason to go in oh that's not
going anywhere man this is cool wow all right and the trenches and offices will kill you they will
kill you dead but they build character mmm but you know they told but you know but you'll make
minimum wages though so yeah you'll make minimum wage some people have noticed that they've already
gotten bigger paychecks hey did you guys you might even get an extra shiny dollar oh that line I heard
that too yeah a dollar we've all we've altered the way that the money goes out for this for minimum
wage people I still remember right dude they're they're just like some people have already noticed
there was there was the there was the the paycheck line yeah and then not not not this is not QA
this is pre QA but I remember there's the paycheck line and then there was the line for complaints
about your check yeah yeah and literally one shrank and one grew and it was just get your check
take a look it's wrong take two steps to the right go to the back of that one yeah where we both
used to work very early on yeah I remember that always having issues with checks but unbelievable
every every every other place I've been to it's like yeah maybe once a year you'll see like what
what the yeah every no this was a verify with your eyeballs look at your own like phone then verify
with your screaming voice yeah and then walk to the next line right right at the second table
every single because because of the way that a grocery store works and the way that people
come in for shifts oh you guys were working Monday to Friday usually right so it would be Friday or
Monday that would be the bad day right because of the way the grocery store works every single day
every single day the the boss or supervisor would have to take an hour out of their shift yeah
with with the employees that came in and go you didn't pay me for multiple days not like the 15
minutes here or there yeah you didn't pay me for Sunday you didn't and it became and it became
discovered as to what it actually was what it actually was is if you got called in since that
wasn't on your schedule it didn't count so so the person doing to ask for it to be changed wow
wow so the yeah whoever did payroll was just so guess what happens yes yeah you get called yeah
everyone had the fucking their phones ring a certain thing and it was don't you remember that
when I had a ringtone for work that was don't answer I don't but I went off around you a lot
and it's like and you go what's that that's work off because don't don't even answer because if you
don't answer you can't tell them that you can't come in right because if you do come in they're
not going to put on your check and then you blow half an hour arguing with them to put on your
check and then it gets rolled over to the next week yeah and god forbid you're like too tired to
like sit and pull out your calculator and do your hours yeah that's what they hope they hope that
you're like if you see the scrap it see they'll be like well they are either too stupid or too lazy
to like complain about this missing which guess what I am so this is a frame trap I had no way
now I should point out to everyone who probably wonders yes almost everything we have described
in these things especially the paycheck stuff is super against the law you are not allowed to do
that but oh it's a mistake doesn't stop it happening it has the bureaucracy it's definitely not a
systemic intentional thing that has gone on for a decade the resistance to screen break policy
was it was a great one because when you work at when your job involves staring at a screen
you're allowed five minutes an hour to just not stare at the screen so you stare at your shoes
and that's law you're right as well or whatever and that includes like geez that's why you put
bullshit on your little cubicle desk so you have something to look at whatever the fuck and I and like
when that was first like a thing that people brought up because the law was already there but
just no one was using it until someone said hey guys did you know you can do this there's like oh
shit really oh shit and then like the initial resistance was just like why aren't you working
what do you think you're doing it's like I'm taking my screen break you're what no this is legally
yeah I don't give a fuck like it was that it was that fortunate for you yeah yeah yeah and and and
but but but here's the problem like okay this is not you with your contract all right this is not
with you on job this is you with your contract you're not permanent and who knows what's gonna
happen tomorrow you know right and it's like it's like I'm on my screen bank are you yeah
you're taking a break from your screen yeah where you're working where you should be working yeah
okay look back at the wall where your picture and your name is on the schedule for the next
couple days and just go okay I hated that wall because that wall also kind of enjoy your screen
break depressing to look at that wall yeah it wasn't a good idea calendar and just your face
with a dumb little smile lana hated that wall staring at you telling you fine she didn't like you
either she's like she sees you over there and she's like you she sees you laughing or whatever
because you're you're above her at that point she was like oh what's he doing over there it's
having fun I can't tell and then she just hit the wall and she's just like oh my name oh I gotta go
in the next day or whatever she just always wished she was hanging out in that area yeah I don't know
it's um it's some bullshit man all right but then she got to work on third strike so hey
that's a pro don't make me cry how about that and DMC you and Liam sure grilled her for information
she didn't have or care about can you do table hopper get out of my face nerds I gotta go test
video games yeah what's coming up and out oh man all regular stuff is continuing but bully has been
fully has been completed uh and and star wars you defeated the bullies another another couple
months I think yes seriously there's a lot okay many star wars did you did you did you did you
defeat your bully yes we did we told you about that we told you at length in person about how crazy
that got are you just not listening to us again no I just know but we're just microphone in front
of us this time and we we might I think we might be starting something new this week I'm not sure
it's gonna go up this week but yeah I'm not sure on the math on that yeah I think I got it working
yay oh wait I was thinking of another thing you're thinking of a different thing yeah
yeah our things yeah our thing will not be going up this okay yeah the other thing will be going up
and we got a we got a three-man LP coming soon we do that's the thing I prefer yeah yeah we're gonna
be well that that needs to wait at least uh oh yeah not that long okay yeah all right that doesn't
have to wait long at all actually uh to be reported yeah in the meantime down a milieu what is done
yeah what's all what else is happening on your uh stream oh my stream okay I've been sick all week
so I didn't stream any Monster Hunter I'm less sick this week so I will stream Monster Hunter I
haven't picked any particular days I'll let you know a couple hours ahead of time at least I'll be
like you go to my Twitter I'll be like hey I'm gonna do a straight and then I'm uh that'll do it
where's that that's angriest uh Pat I think cool is it yeah it is it is how about you Matt you
streamed this week it's uh no days set in stone because I just didn't want Saturday up the uh the
what happened faux pas from last week is yeah my episode of what happened on my flop outside channel
I was hoping to put that up like hours ago but it's not it's not yet you know what you should do
you shouldn't keep the episode completed and just sit on it forever what happened so you show what
happened what happened is that the that the intro needs a little bit of audio tuning and uh some
frame skipping issues happen it looked good to me but the very good artist uh Phil was like
no man there's something bothering me you know artists they like their work to be all pretty
and shit what happened to my show what happened I don't know what happened to it you took too long
with what happened and now my candy is gone you know what that's what happened you know you know
what that's you know what that's like that's when somebody was like hey we'll share this cake and
you're like great and then they eat their piece of the cake and then you eat the whole cake and they're
like I'm you didn't tell me to stop you said we would share it and you at no point you said
we're gonna split it fuck you said share yeah so I know I know what you're talking about
what the fuck why did you say we would share it and you were just too slow to eat it we were
taking turns consecutively but their time frame for sharing and you decided to stop and I decided
to not stop so that's I mean that's what happened dandera comes out tomorrow dandera the the video
you were looking at remember he had like a grappling hook you were like what the fuck yeah yeah yeah
dandera for the switch that comes out tomorrow yes yes yes that's true that's true that's true
and uh over on woolly versus we have more scrub guides coming your way is this for a dbc or in
general uh so we for more there is there is a how to safely dispose of your marvel
put it in a fucking biohazard bag like a electronic disposal head down to your syringe
drop off point and hand in your copy and they're like we have too many of these that we can't take
off they'll put it in the blast chamber and then they'll rockend you a clean fresh copy of dbc
um oh man some more scrub guides yeah so but but not not just dbc there's a arcade sticks 101
yeah uh and then there's going to uh be like how to get your offense started as well uh smartly
jump in so that's going on combo jump in and do combo uh yeah i'm probably also going to be
doing some commentary at lanny ts which is the uh tournament coming up next weekend where is it
at lanny ts the school here in montreal it's a large techno uh school it called the technology
you know a science and whatnot whatever um and uh yeah there's a big um it's the biggest line
and it's happening there and there's uh some fighting games happening there so
you can catch me on we're doing some commentary on stream or just in person
screen loading on stream yeah screen so stay tuned for some of that
yeah and that's and then then with with that we did it again yes yeah we went in yeah yeah yep
um we were starting a new podcast and we're announcing it that it's going up exactly after
this podcast yeah and what's it what's that podcast it's the super best friendcast paradox
yes how does it fit in to the timeline it's a prequel podcast so we but does it have anything
to do with the actual topics it's not a lot there's tenuous it's it's weird we're going to record
the the the new podcast after this podcast but it's going to take place before this podcast and it
has completely different people that's correct but maybe the people that see the name friendcast
might get suckered in it'll use clips from this podcast but in the future
that's good marketing that's good EA don't steal that shit
um
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