Castle Super Beast - SBFC 238: God of Exposure (Feat. Plague of Gripes)
Episode Date: March 20, 2018Download for Mobile | Preview Video Accents, Into the Breach, and ridiculously entitled people that you can't believe really exist. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/superbestfri...endsplay Soulcalibur VI adds Geralt of Rivia from The Witcher series Western-developed Brave Neptunia announced God of War one-minute TV spot Tekken 7 for arcades Summer Lesson collaboration event announced Sonic Mania Plus announced Sega teases new Sonic racing game Co-op survival shooter Earthfall launches for PS4, Xbox One, and PC this spring SonicFox lands Android 16's self destruct on Go1, Nakkiel pops off, and Cells match each other's attacks: Dragon Ball FighterZ Final Round highlights Warframe Documentary
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I like how you asked me before this started, can you hear my mouth noises?
And I said no, and you said good.
And then he continues and emphasizes it as much as possible.
Yes.
We got to start the podcast on time, but I got to eat this sandwich.
Well, I'm kind of with you.
I feel kind of weird because I ate a whole quarter slice of watermelon before we started.
A quarter slice of watermelon?
Fuck yeah.
Fucking love watermelon.
That's a funny thing to eat for breakfast.
Fuck yeah.
I don't even understand that terminology, what is that?
You know a watermelon?
Yeah.
Cut it into four pieces.
That's not a slice.
A slice is not like a fucking block.
A slice is defined by the tool that creates it.
Yes.
No man, a slice is like a vertical slice.
It's like a slice.
No.
If I chop you in half, this is like revengeant style, you have been sliced and you are now
in two slices.
Who the hell slices a watermelon vertically?
Yeah, that's kind of, because you're thinking of like a vertical slice, like an extraction
of a watermelon.
I'm thinking about a slice of bread.
I was like, how do you eat that if you have no place to bite, you know?
That's silly.
That makes no sense.
That's crazy.
What if you put it in your watermelon sandwich?
If the bread was sweet bread, that probably would taste alright.
I could see that working, but I'm not a big fan of watermelon anyway.
Have you ever had a grilled watermelon?
No, that is crazy, what are you doing down there?
I've heard of that and I thought, what?
It's like mostly water, how do you do that?
That's silly shit.
Y'all are like frying Mars bars down there though.
No, dude, people are frying Mars bars down there.
Yeah, there's this fucked up shit down here.
Deep fried butter is one.
I got a buddy of mine who went to cooking school, right?
At one point, they just give the students access to the deep fryer.
Oh boy.
Yeah.
That's all it takes.
That's when the nightmare begins.
Because a deep fryer is a very strong device, and you can deep fry more than you think.
You can deep fry a glass if you wanted.
Ice cream.
Ice cream, that's the one.
At certain Vietnamese places, they serve up deep fried ice cream and fuck if that doesn't
taste good.
That sounds awful.
It's really tasty.
Fried banana with ice cream or fried ice cream?
Because I would think that would clash instead of complicated.
It doesn't because you get the hotness on the outside and the cool on the inside, and
it's pretty much just ice cream?
Like us.
But it's...
No.
No.
Hardly.
But anyway.
I did.
I had that once, and I think I gained like 20 pounds just from sniffing it.
Yeah.
It's pretty much, you know, like when you eat like a chocolate-covered vanilla bar, imagine
the chocolate were just like flake.
That's all it does.
It just adds like a flake around the ice cream's insides, and it's tasty.
It's tasty.
It's good.
Holy, what's up?
Who's this man with the handsome southern drawl on our podcast today?
I wouldn't describe it.
You don't really have that much of a drawl.
Like handsome is a weird descriptor.
I don't know.
I think his voice is kind of cool.
I do wish sometimes that I had more of an accent for funsies, but then...
Any particular place?
Which accent would you have?
Do you want a more stereotypical Canadian or Canadian island accent?
I would not want a Canadian one.
It has these weird little like upwards like, oh, kind of like things to it that I'm not.
I've known you for 13 years, and I can only barely get it like once a week.
You'll say one word just slightly.
Because that shit is suppressed.
We went down there as impressionable young little sponges.
That's correct.
It's absorbed all of it, and then that was our language for a long time.
And then we came back up to Canada, and we were not like, when we came back up, I was
around I guess like eight or so, seven, and it was right around that time when I went
back to hanging out with all my cousins and stuff that stayed up here, that they were
like, you sound stupid.
And they just made fun of us for our goofy little Canadian accents, and that shit went
away over the course of forcing it to.
Surprised it would be from your cousins.
It wasn't even a conscious thing so much as it was a, let's stop getting made fun
of by doing this, and then that was that, right?
And then eventually you go to like, well, at the time for me, it was like, you got a
white school, because for me, you know what I mean?
That's a rough term out there.
But that's what it was in my brain, because like, okay, there's the early, early ass years
where you're in like pre-K, and you don't even really know what's going on, right?
It's like whatever.
Exactly, right?
And then by the time I came down to like, I got old enough to know what was going on,
I was in like all black schools in Grenada.
You know what I mean?
Like that was what my context was.
So like the cultural shock coming up here, even though I was returning here, and then
going to a school where it was like, oh, it's all, all just not me.
Now, for context, he really means that Canadian, Canada's black population is really, really
low, particularly compared to the US.
I had, I went to a high school of like 1200 people.
We had one black kid.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's, it's pretty nuts.
And the...
We had a black kid.
Yeah.
I think you told me you talked about him some time ago.
Yeah.
Our senior class had, I think, six people in it, and that's it.
We had one black kid, and whenever he showed up, it's like, we got a black kid, and he's
like, I'm black.
And we're like, whoa!
What a six, man.
That's way higher than any of the high schools around here.
That's a hell of a ratio.
But the, um, no, no, no, but yeah, I pretty much came back and was just like, this is,
what is this?
This is all different, and then not only that, but they all sound different, and then that
just got reinforced by my cousins and, and shit back home.
So my brother and I, like, in no time at all, were pretty much just down to our, hey, oh,
what's about you, you know, you do sound like that.
No, we were back.
We were, we were to this.
An American accent.
We reverted to this.
Exactly.
I wish I had a more pronounced, anything.
And so which one do you want?
You never answered.
Yeah.
I don't know, because my dad, you can hear the Jamaican in my dad's voice, and you can
hear the Grenadian in my mom's voice, like, you know, it's very clear that, like, we did
not model our language after them.
And my, my grandmother, my grandma, like, is, like, hard Jamaican, you know, but it's
hard to say.
Irish.
He wants an Irish accent.
Do you?
I actually think, I don't know what that is, but I don't know what that is, but I don't,
no one knows what your accents are, Pat.
Pat, don't do Southern accents.
Don't.
I heard that.
You can't stop me.
You can't stop me.
You fucking.
Not even garbage.
That was, like, flaming garbage that's a garbage monster, eight, and then shat, and it was
still on fire.
For Willie's context, there was a prolonged period on a recent stream where I did a Southern
accent.
I see.
And Plague doesn't like it.
It was not a Southern accent.
It was, dude, it was, it was straight from the mouths of Kentucky babes.
Is that thing, Pat, does whenever he's, like, uncomfortable about the fact that he has to
do a voice in the first place, so he cranks up this stupid 11, like, oh, see how silly
I am now?
That's right, that's why you do it.
That's why, when you go into the big race, you just shit yourself right at the starting
line or go, whoa.
Tripp over your feet.
See, I did this on purpose, you can.
If I even make it five feet, I'm a hero.
That is true.
You ever see those, those images, like, shot on the, during our marathons of the runners
just shitting themselves?
Oh.
You know what, they get a free pass.
That stuff's hard.
No.
I can't, I don't want to, I don't want to do that.
That's a beauty.
Yeah.
It is graphic.
That sounds like jackass, basically.
Well, it's because your muscles are so tired and your body's so tired.
It's just every little.
Fight or flight.
Well, you want me to ruin something for you horribly?
Please.
Ruin what?
What do I hold sacred, first of all?
You know, in your animes, where they take off the limiters.
Yeah.
In real life.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Add pissing to.
Yeah.
It's letting everything out.
Yeah, you can't, you can't be at optimum unless there's no fluid or fecal matter inside of
you.
You need to, like, you have to, you have to let go.
You have to let go of the energy that's keeping that.
Of course.
Yeah.
You have to jettison it from your, your body.
It's the anti-brown note thing again of, oh, you're going to make me shit myself?
Well, I'm going to do it and have absolutely no pride in myself.
Yeah.
So you have no power over me.
I think, I think, uh, bubbling it, it's doing it a little bit in my head to answer your
question.
I think I like, I like my voice and I'm, I, like, even though some people find it creepy.
I don't know.
Even though some people find it super creepy, even though it's the creepiest voice someone's
ever heard.
Yeah.
There was a tweet I put out.
Someone was like, oh man, like my girlfriend sent me this text freaking out when I started
playing the friendcast and it's her and it's this guy's girlfriend just going, who the
fuck is that talking?
Is there a stalker in our house?
Creepo stalker in the house?
What?
Yeah.
You never heard that before.
Super duper weird.
But anyway.
Can you do me a favor and say you smell different when you're awake?
Do not, do not voice clip him that.
Uh, anyone that talks about smell, you're already in a bad place.
Just don't do it.
See, that's why I can never be creepy because my sense of smell is borderline disabled.
Yeah.
I just, like all throughout my life, there's never been anything good coming from someone
that were, that talks to a girl or a guy about smell and trying to be an attractive
thing.
You really smell pretty.
It's like, uh.
Yeah.
Or the literal guy that I used to work with that's like, do not be alarmed.
I just want to smell your hair.
I remember that motherfucker when he locked, not locked, but he like cornered, uh, my friend
in like a closet and pulled that line.
Do not be alarmed is the first, like, start ringing the bell with his giant French accent.
And she was like, I was very alarmed.
Do I wish I had a French accent?
I just wish, I just wish that, um, it, like, I like, I like the way I talk, but I wish
that it wasn't like a fucking problem for like American sounding black people.
Oh, what do you mean?
Where are they?
Like, cause the way it's an issue, well, it creates a, I know, and we've, we've been
over this many times, but it creates, you don't understand.
We got like super crackers up here, but it creates what you, what you could call an authenticity
issue.
Right.
All the, the, the cyclic redundancy check, it fails when they go, when you're doing the
fucking, they're scanning the raw file to see if the integrity is instilling check.
Wait a second.
Hold on a minute.
Yeah.
Cause I don't, cause I don't, I don't, you know, and, um, I wish that wasn't a problem.
That's all.
If that were, if that were not the case, everything would be fucking gravy.
So here's.
Here we are.
No, no, not going to finish this.
Well, now you have to know.
So.
Wow.
Double opting out from the second opening.
Do I, there's a moment of reconsideration too of dare I know.
Do I wish I had a French accent?
I kind of do, I guess my dad has one that's kind of faint and it's really cool, but cause
I'm like an Anglo, I don't get the French accent.
I went to Angle school.
Here's the thing that's kind of real though, um, as much as it adds like a little bit of
like, you know, flair, like cause, cause I'm, and my cousin like totally turns up the French
accent when he gleaves, right for the, for the exoticness of it.
And you know, like everyone has the, the, the idea of the romanticized hello, you know,
I am from Latin America, you know, and so on.
But the, um, I think there's something about it where I'm like, I don't, I, if you are,
if you hear a thing and then you're trying to do the thing, like if you're trying to
speak like Japanese, for example, you would do the thing where you're sort of almost pretending
to have the accent while you speak the language to sound more authentic and you do the same
thing in French, like on parle pas, le français, comme ça, no, no, no, no, right, because that
sounds, that's like, sounds like you're a shitty fucking tourist or American or trying
to learn or whatever.
Yeah.
So I know somebody who has that accent when they speak French, she tries really hard.
It's weird, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sure.
And our brains are wired in such a way that it's like hard because these are the sounds
that you know language makes and these are forcing you to go outside of that comfort zone.
But I think it kind of demonstrates a, a, a level of like understanding and somewhat mastery
if you can hear the sound and pick up on the really, really subtle things and then emulate
that back properly.
Yeah.
And like an accent.
But then you don't do it right anyways.
So like if you have an accent, if you really probably, you know what I mean, like try to
buckle it down and get the little subtleties, you could probably get out, get, get rid
of those things if you wanted to.
Well, it's like, it's not that important because you can still communicate effectively
with an accent.
Yeah.
So you kind of stop at the point where you're communicating.
But if you really cared about the subtleties, I think you could go a bit further.
Like it's, it's kind of interesting.
Like I know I want to with non English language, particularly for, because most of, most of
the you folks listening at home are going to be from the States, right?
In States is it's more, more or less English with a little bit of Spanish on the side.
So like, like every time, every time I was like, oh man, French girls that act, oh fuck.
It's like, yeah, not couldn't.
Yeah.
Couldn't do less.
Like couldn't, like especially the Quebec French accent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Like and the other thing is like, oh man, I just have like, you know, you say you have
like, say you don't live in the, you live in the States, but you don't live in like
Boston or Kentucky or New York.
You don't have one of those like gas regional accents.
Yes.
Yeah.
You have like a kind of generalized American accent and they're like, oh man, my accent's
so lame.
And if I went to like a foreign place, they would, it's like, no, because if you make any
attempt to speak the language there decently, your accent's going to translate into a weird
foreign accent for those people.
Yes.
Like, yeah.
I remember friends of mine in school, uh, chicks that were like, oh man, English guys
when they speak French, that's super hot because their English is so weird, English accents
are so weird.
Yeah.
Cause you go out to like parts of, uh, you go out to fucking Joliet or a BTB or fucking
Le Tocque and like, they're like, English people, oh my goodness.
Oh, it's so crazy.
You're going to eat my little one, but there's a very difference between the difference between
the regional and the like cross lingual, you know, because, uh, the, the exotic
ness doesn't really apply if everyone around you sounds the same and it's speaking the
same.
It means you've adopted the thing in your environment.
So if you're from South, from the South or from whatever, fucking weird, the weird Philly,
uh, uh, kind of accent where there's a bit of, there's a bit of this and there's a, there's
a bit of a that.
I've never heard that one Philly, Philly stuff is really, really weird, um, wind, you know,
but anyway, uh, but they, but they, they have a whole thing where like, you're doing it
right in your area, right?
It's not like people with horrible French accents that are like American sounding are
a neighborhood here where they're doing it all right in that way.
You're just doing, you're trying something else and not, you're not getting to it.
So that's why, that's what I mean.
There's a, there's a place, there's room for striping.
So when you think about it, my bad accents are really very attractive.
There you go.
Very much.
Everyone should, everyone should be.
I actually just thought of it.
I'm like, why is I patch wolf's, uh, accent so handsome and it's be, and it's, I'm like,
Oh, because you don't hear Irish much because Ireland is somewhat small and it's further
away.
Right.
But it's like the smaller the region of your accent, the more endearing it is.
Yeah.
That's why everyone goes nuts for Newfoundland and Fargo and, uh, uh, the fucking, uh, the,
the, the, the fucking gypsy slash Roma slash bread pits in snatch with, with, uh, scouts
and all that shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Everyone is like, what the fuck is this?
What's going on here?
Exactly.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Do people think that Newfie accents are hot?
No.
No.
Okay.
They're, they're quaint.
They think they're cute.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Accents are cute.
Yeah.
Because I would not equate those two together in any way for obvious reasons.
Like a Newfie accent doesn't say like, oh, look at that hot chick.
It's like, man, that girl knows how to eat a fish head.
Yeah.
The more his head right off next time, overly comfortable rural accent you have the, like
it strays out of the, that's hot spectrum into that's cute.
Don't be around me too long though.
Spectrum.
The next time you, the next time you meet someone from Philly, ask them to say home
and see if you hear him.
What is that?
Him.
What is that?
Every eww sound.
It's raw.
It's raw.
Eww to it.
Is that like you sounds in like Baltimore?
It's not every, it's not every word, but it's every once in a while.
Certain sounds just come out and you go, you're from fucking Philadelphia, aren't you?
Yeah.
I kind of wish I had a more pronounced Canadian accent.
It's like the unnecessary R's in British, whatever they're just saying, normal work,
like SAR.
I saw it.
I saw it.
Oh, it's weird.
Sore a film.
Film.
Like there's no R in there.
I saw it.
Man.
The language came from your lens.
Why are you like this?
Well, it's because they had longer to, to like jerk it off.
Just state the badness.
Yes.
Yeah.
But that's only a particular, um, um, like dialect though as well.
Yeah.
Right?
So, if you want to talk dialect, I mean, fuck, you point at any corner of this province
and you get a different form of unintelligible fucking smoker French.
That's you too.
The Sish, man.
The Sish.
I don't understand people from Netsuk.
That is a weird little mountain community with the paper mill and they don't speak
a language at all.
Well, they have a paper mill there, it's understandable.
They're writing down on the paper.
Also that town reeks like shit.
The favorite thing that I've heard from, I think it's from you guys have, that have
said this is that the people that speak French there, if they go over to France and actually
speak French there, they fucking despise.
Oh, it's a joke.
It's like, what the fuck are you doing?
But you wouldn't, you would speak English, Parisians and Quebecers.
Oh, oh, I got a little bit of French there.
I just, uh, they speak English to each other because it's easier.
It is much easier.
Then trying to understand the different dialects.
So here's the thing though, like both know how to revert to the common basic words though.
And I've, and while I was, uh, in like New Zealand, we met people from France and we
spoke to them.
You spit on them?
We spoke to them using the most basic Bécharrelle, you know what I mean?
Je suis, tu es, il est en un, nous sommes, vous êtes, il est en genre, you know, like
we kept it on the fucking, like.
No fancy words, like email.
Present tense.
Exactly.
Don't ask for the receipt, you know, but, um, and that, that's pretty much fine.
But we were laughing in comment about how like the further out from the central areas
you get, the more like, like completely gibberish it turns, because in French they have the
ch-ch-t, right?
Which is like.
I don't even know what you just said.
Exactly.
It's C-H, apostrophe T-I-S.
What is this?
Some fucking C final fantasy shit?
It's your farm country.
Oh man.
It's like everything, like the wine guys in the census episode.
Perhaps.
Yeah.
Perhaps.
I don't know the reference.
I don't remember that one, but like there's a little bit of weirdness to that and it's
almost like the equivalent of like the North remembers, you know, like you get a little
bit of that too.
It's weird.
It's fucking weird.
Oh man.
It's, it's a rich tapestry.
I imagine that American Southern accents must translate very poorly into French.
Like very heavy Southern accents.
So Paige used to, Paige is like the slightest tinge of like an Illinois accent and her accent
translates hilariously into French.
Like she's, she's been learning it over the past couple of years and she, her basic knowledge
of how to do stuff is dramatically improved.
But like we'll do, we'll have the moment where I'm like, where I'm like, okay, ma, uh, one
of the main streets that runs through Montreal is called Maisonneuve.
Maisonneuve.
No.
Maisonneuve.
Maisonneuve.
Maisonneuve.
Maisonneuve.
Maisonneuve.
And it's like, and it's like, okay.
And it's like, man, you nailed that.
You got it perfect.
Everyone knows you're from the States.
You will never escape it.
Your accent is intense.
It is strong and it cannot be undone in your other language.
I always enjoy the, uh, the GPS being like, turn right on Rue de la Commune.
Oh, they go crazy west and asked dude, the English GPS.
It doesn't know what the fuck to do.
Rue de la Gauchetierre.
Oh man.
It's yeah.
Yeah.
That was too good.
That was too good.
Yeah.
You got to fuck it up a little bit more.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You're right.
You're right.
They don't know what to do when three vowels are next to each other and it's trying its
best.
Oh man.
It's every fucking street and like there's clearly like the guys who spent the little
extra to get like, like Parisian GPS.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Oh man.
Not to mention, uh, not, I'm not going to blow up anybody spot, but we have friends
who have names that are clearly French and if you say it the French way, they go, that's
not my name.
No.
What is that?
Right.
That's the thing that your great grandparents used to say.
And at some point their kids just went, I don't, what, I don't know.
Take for example, uh, my name, my name is, uh, Patrick Boivin.
Yes.
Right.
Now Boivin is a very French name.
It's relatively common.
Yep.
It's not, you know, there's a different Patrick Boivin in Montreal that is also a YouTuber.
But my name is not Patrick Boivin.
Yeah.
My name, my, and if, if I was like dissent, if, if my family was Anglophone, Anglophone,
Anglophone, Anglophone, Anglophone, Anglophone and then move south or move west or whatever,
you would have been Boivin.
I would have been Boivin.
And you would have been correcting people to tell them that.
And they would be like, no, Monsieur.
Yeah.
Don't know, c'est Patrick.
Patrick.
And yeah, Patrick.
Uh, and like I get the, this is the weirdest one and it happens in the government offices
and it's go, okay, uh, la prochaine c'est Patrick Boivin.
It's like, hey, um, Patrick, yeah, yeah, that's me.
Oh, it's just, uh, because, um, it says you have a French last name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Exactly.
And I go, oh, my mom's English.
I went to English school.
I was like, oh, okay, okay.
Yeah.
Hey, Jerry.
Oh, you were fucked up.
But at the same time.
Jerry, your Anglophone seed was swiped to it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Fuck it.
Oh man.
Or even sometimes when I'm like, like talking to, talking to, uh, there's an old, there's
an old lady working at Tim's and was getting a coffee, you know, and she, and then like
she tried her best and she spoke her English and she took my order.
Oh, why?
And then afterwards she was like, uh, like to, to one of her, like people in the back
she was like, Hey, what do you think of my English?
That's it.
And I just went, uh, paper for you.
Anyway.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Um, I'm, but it's at the same time though, like my last name is Madden and very Scott.
Sure.
But here's the thing, right?
Like the whole, but I'm sure that my, the only reason why it's Madden is because of
where I am.
And like someone's way back would probably be like, you fucking asshole, your name is
Martin.
Yeah.
You know, you're dropping the important like apostrophe and ah, yeah, but who gives a shit
about the Scottish?
They're not even a real country.
Our last name.
They ruin Scotland.
We're a Scottish slash Irish in origin and it seems like the actual, like my last name
like eons ago would be something like Gila on corn or something like that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Unrecognizable.
Like to hide the bad and miss some of cool ass Celtic shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Finn.
My favorite thing about accents that I've learned about our region is that Southern,
American Southern, like very heavy American Southern is actually more similar to ancient
British.
Yeah.
Like whenever they came overseas.
So all the British people, if you slow down, I forget what it is, if you're slowing it
down or speeding, I think it's slowing it down.
It actually starts to sound like American Southern, which is really strange.
Really?
Yeah.
The colony language and certain parts of the Southern language is ancient.
It's the language of British colonists of Britain at the time.
And then Britain kept doing its own more followed like that's why and the reason why that modern
British is the way it is is because apparently they went through some sort of minor revolution
phase where everyone was trying to sound upper class.
And that's the reason why it evolved from what we are into something else with that.
Because Quebec French is proto Parisian.
Quebec French is the French of the colonies of the lower class.
It's of the lower class.
But it's also love.
It's the colony language current to that time.
Right.
And it didn't really change whereas in France they did have some revolutions.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A couple of people, you know, misplaced their blogging.
So really, when you think about it, North Americans are speaking the real language.
The real language.
Yeah, that's right.
It's just when I think of the person wearing the 10 gallon hat going, I do declare, you
know, I do declare Duke of Yorkshire, I will fuck your way.
Wait, which area of the country is this now?
Is that getting into the?
I don't know.
Well, you created this on your own, whoever, whoever it is from whatever cartoon wearing
a giant hat, wearing a white suit with somebody Sam, with the little note, a white suit.
I do.
Expensive.
I need a mint julep.
Oh, my God.
A mint julep.
Oh, wait.
What's that guy's name?
Ide.
There's a fairly odd parents character that's like that.
That's exactly who I'm thinking of.
Doug.
And then exactly with the spinners on the boots and whatnot and so on or even or even young
idiot.
All right.
Like that type of character that's exactly what I'm thinking of and I'm like stereotypical
Texan and I can't see the link between that and like English British that because but
it that's what it used to be.
That's mad.
If you if you wanted to do like historical Shakespeare, everyone would have to have everyone
would have to be Eli.
I mean, the words like they both, they both there it is.
They both use words like proclaim and yeah, right into the past.
There's that.
But you dump Eli back in like 1400 England.
That's right.
He'd fit right in.
I like I would be able to understand everyone.
I love how within our traceable timeline, you can see like how you can have two different
people, Cajun's and lack at Z.
Oh, yeah.
Of course you would know about and they completely have like their separate things where there's
a few I have mirrors here and there, but it's like you literally have the same source,
dude.
Right.
Or I have a buddy of mine from Louisiana and every now and then he busts it out and
makes me pissed off.
It makes me fucking.
It's really weird because it's it's like you're fucking wrong.
Your foot is what is this scrimp ass bullshit?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Scrimps fucking scrimps, man.
What is that crap?
Scrimps and Scrippers, Screets.
Cadians are cool, though.
Sure.
They're all right.
They they fucking.
I mean, they hate the old country almost as much as we do.
Yeah.
And we can one thing we can do is unite in our hate.
I can't think of like, I think hatred of things unites people more than the best.
It ridiculously so it's so good.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, hey.
You want the Irish and the Scottish to get along?
England's over there.
Fucking.
Hey, who's that?
Is that the Queen?
You want?
Hey, you want the whole of the UK and all the English and those people together?
Look, France is over there.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Osomadius did what he did for that reason 15 minutes or 30 minutes ago.
Oh, man.
Dude, like it's it is easy to rally around that shit.
Cracks me up about Canada or is that the version of that people are more mad at France for
dumping us than England for invading right like like what would they come and fade us
and you just left you just fucking left.
Well, who's more of an asshole that fucking shitty kid that you that you beef with and
fight with in that one grade of school or the parent who abandons you entirely for the
rest of your life.
We were new France and then they helped the Americans with their revolution.
They didn't help us fight the British.
They helped the Americans.
What the fuck is that?
Dude, politics are complicated and France also helped the Confederacy and it was fucked
up.
Also, we need our first.
Who's got fur though?
Have you got it first because I got some pelts up here and I got some fancy ass women
that need them back in the old country.
So I'm going to do what's what's going to get those pelts back there faster.
We need to make hats out of beavers so that those assholes can go crazy from fumes like
we are the block.
Oh, man.
Yeah, I haven't seen a beaver hat in a good minute.
Well, I mean, they're there.
I mean, that they they fell out of fashion once they realized that it made people go
crazy.
Yeah, also, they're kind of stupid looking.
Well, I think I think the the the Daniel Boon hat lives on in people like Sonic Fox.
Yeah, but also like the day you've been there's something really classic and quaint
about like a raccoon hat.
Like it's it's a cool.
It's it's it's a cute cool.
It's it's it is.
It's no Johnny Evel said today, but it's it's getting.
Yeah, you it is unpull offable today.
What if you just Photoshopped a fucking raccoon hat onto my head?
Well, it's already happened.
This is dapper as shit over here.
It's not though.
That's the problem is that that would only exist in the Photoshop realm.
You would never take a chance outside.
Yeah, I would.
You know, we would never take a chance outside.
Talking about I can't wear four hats.
They're way too high.
My bald gets real sweaty.
Hmm. All right.
That's a sweet.
Coons are cute.
I like raccoons.
I like raccoons.
A little trash, vicious animals, so they're horrible.
They attack my dog sometimes back in the day.
What would be your favorite animal to wear if you had to wear one?
They had to wear one.
You had to wear it and it was like alive.
It was no, you know, you had to.
What the fuck question was that?
It was alive when I wore it.
What the what the fuck am I saying?
No, it was like that mint coat that the lady in Ghostbusters has.
Oh, man. And then it comes back and it's like, I went if I was going
to be the kind of person who wore like a fur thing or like an animal thing,
I would want it to be the last of some rare ass creature.
Wow. Just OK.
Like if I'm going to go there and I'm going to be that guy,
yeah, I want the fucking dodo birdwatch or the last rhino.
Yeah, giant rhino head.
Like and it's and it's and it's awful.
And like it's it's clearly.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want I want the shit.
What's it called?
Whenever the whenever you stuff your fucking animal, the term for it.
Taxidermy taxidermy taxidermy.
Yeah, thank you. I know why I forgot that.
I want the taxidermy going wrong things.
You ever seen those pictures? Oh, man.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I want a big like bug eyed wolf head this on my face.
You just so that's that's exactly where you went.
I'm like, that's the same thing here.
Like the only place you can go with that.
You can't go with the fucking like like gator shoes or the weird
like minks around your neck type thing.
You've got to go full on rock and bangoo.
Yeah. And just put the wolf on your head.
Yeah. And it's the it's jaws open and you just drop it over your head
and it's dumb and you've got like wolf fear sticking out.
Well, but that's what that's you now.
And everyone assumes you hunted and killed that thing as a child.
You know, the one that stuffed it.
Everyone assumes.
And this makes me think about the anthropological
like creation of anthroism or furry ism.
Is furry ism just of attempts to return to proto man
with their with their like animal trophies
for creature sex reasons.
Sounds like a paper you could write and you write up that report.
I don't expect to see it in my science journal.
But of course, I would submit it to plague science.
We've got detailed science journals about the the effects of giant titties
on aerodynamic anime fighting a robust science journal.
Thank you, man.
Like there was a fucking post on our subreddit.
There was a shitpost from imager that was like, hey, man.
Part five is canceled anime for Jojo and you click on it.
It's a broken imager link.
So it just leads to some like generic folder and like in it is just this
fucking feeder cat girl shit with the spilling curves and shit.
And it's like, I got to go shit post this in a bunch of discords
and ruin people's days or make them.
Hmm, it was mostly I feel like you never know.
You never know.
You can't tell until you see the little emoticons that pop up
underneath the picture and every co every once in a while,
there's a couple of thumbs up and smiley faces and it's like, thanks, Pat.
No, good share.
No, it's a good share.
No, it's bad share.
It's bad share.
I did this to annoy you or or better yet, you awakened something within me.
I didn't know it was there.
I hope this doesn't awaken something.
I think Paige is becoming attractive to skeletons because of Papyrus.
I think that's happening.
I don't know what I'm a little bit frisky with that.
I don't know what I'm going to do because I'm not a skeleton.
I'm very far from a skeleton.
Maybe.
Well, just what you want to do yet.
You want to keep an eye out for Photoshopped comics of like live action
pictures of you turning into a skeleton.
All right, well, right.
Thanks for making that happen.
I sure did.
I mean, we've got this.
There's live action photos of do of dudes turning into horses and it's a thing
and it's out there.
So you got to you got to the transformation thing.
Yeah, those you watch.
Oh, it's animal or into a skeleton.
Yeah, I saw two pages and I was like, that's enough.
Yeah, I got I got the gist of it because the text.
It wasn't turning into a horse that looks like a horse.
You know, it's turning to a man textured horse.
And that was the issue.
Yeah, the flesh was just stretching.
Yeah, I don't like that.
I don't like that animal sex.
Yeah, yeah, I don't like it.
You think you're like, oh, I'm going to do it like a cool, clean thing
and get like a nice black coat of fur or something like that.
No, you're you're getting a fleshy pink one.
I don't like that.
And it's just horse shaped.
You see that, dude, I think it's in South America that had surgery
to have like a dog muzzle.
So yes, I have face.
What? Yeah.
Oh, man, you got to find some crazy quack fucking doctors
that are willing to do that.
That's crazy.
You go to America, doesn't need money to like, hey, whatever.
All those surgeries where they're like, this is unethical.
And it's like, how much money I didn't get into the doctoring business
for ethics. Oh, fuck you.
Fucking doctoring is hard.
And is it? Yeah.
And if you go through your doctoring school and you become a big doctor
and you want to sow some bullshit to some guy's face, who's that?
Who's going to stop you?
And that guy is dead set on on fucking making sure that he gets it done
one way or another.
And if you don't do it for him, he's going to do it himself.
Yeah, man, he's going to start to do it himself at home.
Yeah, man. Remember the doughnut faces?
Yeah, man. Fuck.
Fucking doughnut injections, man.
I don't get that shit at all.
Well, you're not supposed to, right?
Is anyone supposed to they do it for them, you know?
And that's like, OK, go through some shit in their head.
Literally, literally in their heads.
But the problem that's the thing is, right, is like,
is it ethical at that point to do it safely for the person
that might otherwise do it themselves and fucking kill themselves
on like accidentally?
Well, it depends how much money you're making.
What kind of question is that?
The answer is probably not.
He's going to ruin his.
No, he's going to ruin his life, so I will do it for him.
I'm such a good person.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Eli, the the the the the the the the thought comes from the same place
as safe injection sites.
Yeah. Mm hmm.
Here's a safe injection.
It's it's it's proven that if you, you know, yeah, give people clean needles
and like pretty much as much as they want,
eventually you kind of have a thing where there's not as many people
dying off of a thing and they eventually wean off of it
because they don't have to worry about how to get it
from dangerous places and all kinds of shit like that.
So but that's a whole other.
Oh, man, I'm that's a whole other thing.
I may have done something very bad.
What happened?
Googly. Did you give out you syringes to hobos again?
13 minutes ago, Googly Gareth fucking all caps tweeted at me.
Yeah, nice bait asshole.
Mm hmm. Oh, he can he can do anything he wants.
He can do anything you're 3D.
So are you limit.
So are you. There's no.
Yeah, but I don't really look that like I look kind of like me, but I look like
I also don't look kind of look like me.
You look more like you than I look like me in 3D.
Googly Gareth, SFM fucking
because my face is based on which which demo is a day.
Yeah, man, who is Black Scottish?
Yeah, so that's basically you.
Again, sort of, but fine.
You just can't tell ginger people apart.
I'm not going to spoil a thing.
Boyle, there's a thing recently that that that is a huge spoiler about that.
And I'm OK.
So we'll just we'll just have to move past all right.
That's weird.
It's a it's it's it's a game where all the ginger people are evil.
Anyway, real life.
What did you do this week?
Oh, what? Yeah, yeah.
Forty five minutes in.
What's your week?
I kind of forgot we were doing.
Yeah, that's funny.
I like I like but that that ideal whatever fucking amount of time that was
is is is that's good podcasting.
Oh, yeah. Right now that we've broken it, that's good.
That's a good role.
You see, and that's what the content, you know, unplanned, going, having fun.
Before I hit my week, the formula is not as important.
And by the way, just just as to break the fourth, the fourth wall,
the formula is not as important as just talking and having fun.
Fourth wall, Mila, the formula, the formula is what you fall back on
when you run out of your favorite podcast.
It's a video game podcast and they check it out and we're like,
you see that picture of a cheetah biting a monkey, monkey's eyeballs out.
Oh, I listen to the.
Oh, that's a wipeout.
I listen to the giant bombcast for years and years and years.
I like it to you and you're a discord, by the way.
And my and my favorite episodes were the ones where they just argued
about Domino's pizza for like 90 minutes.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, sure.
Absolutely. You hear about how they fucking found the penguin colony out of nowhere
because they found a bunch of penguin shit where out in the Antarctic.
They pretty much were like there was they thought there was nothing there.
And they found a giant mountain of penguin shit and it was all like pink
in the water and they're like, what?
And then they found like a million penguins on like on a fucking ice colony
just hanging out like where they didn't think there were.
And I was like, I'm like, I thought we scoped everywhere by now.
OK, I thought we did it.
I thought we flew over and nobody gives a shit about Antarctica.
That's it. I mean, that's the corners of the Flat Earth.
So like this trip, well, that's right before the edge of the crater.
That's right before the ice wall. Yeah. Right.
Well, because like it on the Flat Earth, Antarctica actually circles the globe.
So when you try and fly a plane over it, they all get shot down by the government.
Obviously. Obviously.
Yeah. But not before the chemtrails get us, dude, dude.
I saw, I don't know who tweeted at me.
I saw what might be my favorite fucking chemtrail related shit
like an hour ago, an hour ago.
And it was no one wears breathing masks,
even though there are chemtrails everywhere in the sky.
And it's a shot of of the fucking skyline, right?
But you freak out when I walk into a store like this
and it's a shot of a guy's bare feet and it's from the barefoot legal Facebook page,
which is, which is, which is so many layers, which is, which is a bunch of people
that are going crazy because you're not allowed to wear bare feet at the office.
Store. And this got a lot of like, that's a cake of dumb
because it fucking, it's psychs you out.
It's like, oh, it's about chemtrails.
Like, no, that's amazing. Fuck shoes.
That's amazing.
Liam would be on in that camp.
Oh, yeah. He's a sandal boy, right?
Yeah, he is. He's a saucy little sandal boy.
And I remember days back in the old office,
like before I even worked with Liam of like there being a problem because
so the are like some of our mutual friends would hang out with,
like would just pretty much like we're like, yeah, it's it's it's hot today.
I'm going to just walk around with my shoes off and tell me and whatnot.
And eventually it became a problem because there was a did it.
There was a local foot fetishist in the office.
Hell, yeah, there was a focus.
And he wrote a complaint to HR saying, I can't get any work done
because those feet are distracting me.
Please. I'm just so fucking turned on.
Oh, I talked to please, please make it so that this can't happen.
So Clems is an amateur foot fetishist and he was he was amateur.
Yeah, well, he's not a pro. Yeah, skill.
You got to get in.
He was he was here recently.
And we talked to him about it and he he did something that every one that I
personally encountered that is into feet does,
which is they do everything in their power to distance themselves
from everyone else who's into feet being like they are degenerates.
They have no class and I hate them because there's only two types.
There's the person that you don't know has a foot fetish
and the person that won't stop telling you that they have a foot fetish.
And there's no in between.
There's no in between.
I'd say there isn't in between Tarantino.
He tells everyone he doesn't tell anybody, but he films it all the time.
What are you talking about?
He is been so outspoken that he loves feet.
I thought his thing was that he never admitted it.
Oprah fucking dragged a bunch of foot models out in front of him.
He almost came in his fucking pants. Oh, really?
OK, OK, I didn't catch that.
Oh, no, I thought he denied it.
That's no, he's been like, yeah, I put the shot of the foot
because I jerk off to the foot.
Oh, he's super about it. Yeah, OK, all right.
There's no in between.
I guess that guy.
That was the bad one.
He could have just done a shitty job and seen all the feet he wanted in the world.
But no, he had to ruin it for everybody.
Also, walking around with your bare feet.
That's disgusting.
Wear your socks. Come on, people.
Yeah, but there's a nice feeling to it sometimes if you're at home.
If you're at home, if you're on the beach, walking through the sand.
If you're in the office or something, it's kind of weird.
Like me, farm, right?
So I'm barefoot all the time.
Do you hear that?
If I go outside, the.
Thank you.
But if I go outside to throw something out to the chickens,
bare feet, if I go out to.
Well, you're in a different situation a little bit back in Grenada,
running outside, running down the road barefoot.
You're right. And the really rough kids would fucking run on gravel.
I'm like, yo, you guys, that's crazy.
But that's how where you got strong. Exactly.
But that's also how like that's also only when you know there's no
threat of there being glass, right?
Yeah. Here you there's no fucking bet in Grenada.
All bets are like a snake slash scorpion thing.
Or is that not an issue? Not really.
I mean, they're they're that's not true.
That's a lie. There is 100 percent a snake thing.
There was a giant.
I told the story.
It was a long time ago, but I guess I'll just do the the TLDR of it.
But one time the the sink was clogged and we couldn't get anything through it.
And oh, no.
Yeah, OK, I'll continue.
But it does not the same thing.
But anyway, we couldn't fucking and we're like, what's going on?
And we plunge and plunge and plunge.
It doesn't work. Open up the piping.
It doesn't work.
And we're tracing it all back.
And I'm like, OK, the problem is not in the kitchen.
The problem is outside somewhere at the drainage.
And we get to the end of the drainage pipe and we pull it open.
And unscrew the cork and then a giant, like a snake tail flops out type thing.
And we're like, oh, fuck, there's a giant snake in there.
That's gross. And we pull it out and it's actually a rat.
And the rat was so huge, it was like almost like a half a cat sized rat
that it died and blocked the entire drain thing.
And it fucking it terrified everybody.
But I'm terrified now.
But yes, there are some.
They get pretty big.
But you got to go into the bush to really encounter it
because the ones around people are more or less have been killed.
That that might be the most horrifying,
like surprise story with like an animal I've ever heard.
Yeah, that's bad. That's that was a bad one.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, again, I think I related at some point.
Maybe it was a Christmas cast where it was like that, the jumping spiders,
the bat that flew into our room.
Yeah. And then we're like, time to go to bed.
Did we ever find the bat?
No. What are you going to do?
Nothing. Just go to bed.
It's in here somewhere.
Fuck that.
Yeah. Leave the doors open and hope it flies out.
Go drown yourself in the ocean.
There was one time that we were hired or like me and my brother,
we're hired on to paint the interior of a house.
And they mentioned, OK.
We fumigated this thing for brown recluses.
So they should be dead.
So we go inside.
They're not dead.
There are dead ones and there's thousands of dead ones
and they're just everywhere, like in the sink, especially,
the like they were living in there.
There are plenty still alive and they were not happy we were there.
So any time that I would like have to paint behind something,
suddenly like 15 just dart out and one or two might be like,
hey, there's a human hand. I'm going to go for that.
Nope. Pull that shit right back.
Somehow made it out without being bit,
but it was not a good experience.
And for those people that are like, brown recluses won't kill you.
They'll fucking melt your hand, dumbass.
I'm going to kill them.
You'll be disabled if it bites you.
It won't kill you.
Oh, that's a good comfort here.
You want to hold my fucking arm that sizzled off.
So just something about those videos where the like the Cobra Masters
are walking through the room pits with like a hundred of them
slapping their heads away, slapping them away like, move off, asshole.
Get out of here. I told you twice.
Don't make me say, you know, just fucking just like casually walking through death.
Well, there's a couple of things going on there.
Some of those videos have a bunch.
All those snakes have been de-venomed.
And the opposite, even that's like kind of a lame answer.
The cool answer is that a lot of those guys
have been bitten so many times that they've developed a partial
or near total immunity.
If you get, if you get, if you inject enough snake venom
into yourself over a long period of time, it will not hurt you anymore.
That's just like that.
They just order snake venom from around the world
and he orders poisons and all sorts of things.
And just every day, every day, there's a tablet or an injection
and just so that he can feel like he's immune to everything.
Build it up. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, the other thing is that, man, anti-venom is actually really tough to acquire.
You know how much I was looking at some fucking documentary.
You need like 10 times or as much venom
to create like a single vial of anti-venom.
Wow. And the only way to get the venom
is to physically milk the snake with your hands.
And they all have the only how much they can produce in a day.
Like, fortunately, the the the mass need for anti-venom
is not as large as like it's not like everyone's getting bit every day.
You know what I mean?
Like if you get a bunch of anti-venom, you'll probably only need a little bit
for a given population over the course of a year.
Yeah, but the problem.
So here's the problem.
It's getting it.
Here's some good advice for snake bite victims.
The most important one.
Don't suck the poison out.
Don't suck the poison out.
You'll fucking die and you'll make it worse.
The number one thing for getting bit by a snake to save your life
is look at the snake really carefully
because there are like a hundred different types of anti-venom
and they don't work on the other types.
So if you come in and go, it was a brown snake.
And like, what did it look like? It was brown.
They're like, OK, let's just try and figure it out.
The important thing is to kill the snake.
If it bites you like this is maybe this is a country thing.
I don't know, but like if something bites you, you fucking grab it and you murder it.
And then you have it so that you took your revenge.
Well, it's not just that.
It's you also have the thing.
What color was the snake?
Here it is. Here it is. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, we got to file that. No problem.
Right. Two seconds.
Oh, it's the one from Snake Pass.
He was bit by a snake three days later.
The snake died. Oh, fuck.
Joke. Oh, the like, like that was a funny thing, too.
When we talked to the guys that made Snake Pass,
they originally had different colors and it was like a cute,
like black and green and white sort of thing that they had going.
And they did some tests and whatnot.
And everyone was like, yeah, he's really cute, really fun.
And then in a particular region, some people were like,
you need to fucking change that scares the shit out of my kids.
And they're like, no, it was worse than that.
It's that that exact color combination is the most dangerous,
lethal thing in our area, and we're trying to teach our kids
to stay the fuck away from them and making a happy,
go, lucky, friendly version is fucking not going to help us.
We don't want our kids to think that's a good thing.
The ultimate is there is some fucking British.
I think it's that pigs kids show with a little cartoon pigs.
It's a British show.
Peppa Pig. Yeah, I think it might be.
But maybe I'm just getting that confused.
But regardless, the kids show in England that because it's Commonwealth
and England, Australia occasionally airs in Australia.
And there's an episode where the little girl is terrified of a spider.
And the arm says, oh, don't worry, child, a spider can't hurt you.
And that aired in Australia. Yeah, yeah.
And then everyone in Australia went, what the fuck?
You can't tell kids that.
Yeah. You can't tell kids that.
That's so bad in Australia.
I forget what it is.
There's specifically a kind of spider
that is one of the most venomous on the planet that is also known
to be a huge asshole that will just attack humans for no reason.
Oh, is that the human killing spider?
Yeah, I forget what it is.
I believe that's the that's the dinner.
That's what they call it. Yeah, right.
Yeah, you can't. That's bad.
Regional shit. Yeah.
It's like, oh, yeah, no, that's just that's the human extinction
event spider right there.
Don't worry about that.
Like if you're in China, right?
If you if you had a Chinese TV program
and you could have bears are not very aggressive.
If you leave the bear alone, it will be.
So just walk away if you put that in the high north or the Adirondacks
and you area with Grizzlies didn't know the advice has to be
if you see a bear, shoot yourself in the mouth.
If it's black, fight back.
If it's brown, lie down.
Yeah, and then get mauled.
If it's brown, you're done.
Yeah, but yeah, your only hope is that it probably doesn't want to eat you.
It probably just wants you to get the fuck away.
Yeah, it seems like sunbears despite the fact that they're so small.
One of the most like they're the biggest assholes out of all the bears.
Which ones? The sun bear, the like the little tiny itty bitty ones.
Well, for some reason, they're super aggressive.
Polar bears are very big assholes.
If they are as well, yes.
Like if a black bear is eating berries and it's like sees you
and then you have that awkward moment and then it starts to charge,
you can just like bop it on the nose and it'll run away.
It'll fuck off.
You ever see anybody wants to see a really cute black bear?
We're getting real off topic here, but there's a there's a very.
But you should probably have your spray if you're in area with bears.
There's a very emblem and the first black bear video.
Shouldn't be there in the first place.
And if you type in what are you doing there?
Bear, you'll probably get it.
It's a guy hanging out in his in his tree stand.
And he looks down and there's a black bear and the black bear looks at him
and just slowly climbs every rung of the tree stand until he's like one foot away.
And the guy just go, I think he's Canadian because he has really intense accent.
It was, hey, what are you doing there?
And the bear looks down at the ground and looks back at him and then like runs away.
Yeah. And that's it. Yeah. That's it.
They're pussies. Totally.
They're like big dogs. They're just big dogs.
And they're mainly curious is what it is.
And they don't know if you're a toy or not.
In will come the correction from someone who lives somewhere
where black bears are the scariest, most horrible thing.
If a black bear is pissed off, it's still like a thousand pound beast,
a zoid like it can still fuck your day up.
They're probably no probably like twenty five hundred pounds.
They're they're a million tons.
They're heavier than a star.
Now I need to find out how much of Moose weighs.
Oh, man, no, that's no, you can't do that.
That's the 18 wheeler of the animal animal kingdom.
They're not going to attack a fifteen hundred pounds.
Moose. Yep. OK.
Average weight is closer to a thousand for males and eight hundred for females.
I believe it. Moose are also huge assholes, aren't they?
You a family can sleep comfortably inside of a Moose.
Can our Moose huge assholes? No, they just want to cross the road.
And they don't give a fuck if you're trying to drive anywhere.
Moose are primarily indifferent because they're so big.
And there's probably a lot like deer.
They're like the North American elephant or maybe like, yeah, I guess.
Because the problem is that you would think that like a giraffe was sturdy,
but it's not. No, they're frail as shit. Right.
I could punch a giraffe over right now.
A Moose looks as sturdy as a giraffe should be in that you can crash your car
into it and it might just walk away.
And your car is not going to walk away. You might not walk away.
Well, Moose, the hitting a Moose with your car,
the worst part about it is that you clip the legs so that the
the eight hundred of the thousand pounds hits your wall, your windshield.
Yeah. And yeah. And it's essentially like hitting a pillar
that was aimed at your face and you don't in your car.
You don't know how those antlers are going to play out.
They're going to play out bad for you.
No one knows how those antlers are going to play.
That's a role of the fucking dice.
Like, I want to say like most Moose injuries, they're not Moose attacking people.
They're Moose running down a trail and a person was there
and the person didn't move fast enough because the Moose is not going to.
Moose doesn't have to slow down just because the puny human is in its way.
You ever catch that video of the the bike, the guy on the bike path
that's going down the trail and then a fucking giant brown
like looks like a Kodiak just comes out of the brush and starts booking it.
Oh, and where he looks back and he looks back and it's right there.
And if you hear the
he's spilling like a motherfucker, too.
And it's like and he's looking back and then looking forward ahead of the path
and just fucking going for it.
And you're like, oh, my God, the bike.
He gets off the bike at the end.
It's it's the most.
Yeah, he actually pulls away.
But it is like beyond terrifying.
Like everything inside of you that your ancestors felt
you will feel in that one moment.
Hope you're confident in your human technology right now.
Our first on top of the food chain is extremely precarious.
Well, it's tool based.
So if you don't have the tools on you, you're back at the bottom.
That's why everyone should have a gun at all times.
You and and let's be real, like that sized bear, your gun is going to annoy it.
Yeah, like you shoot and you if you get it in the head,
you'll annoy it real strong.
But I remember those eyes.
My dad used to go hunting and he was like, oh, we saw a bear.
It was really scary.
And like, what were you scared of?
You had like rifles and stuff.
And he's like, oh, silly little child.
It's nuts. Like, yeah, no.
You're like, like it's like a bullet is pretty much a really strong punch.
Yeah, it's like a kitten firing a toothpick into your body.
Like it's just like, oh, fuck, what are you doing?
It's why I think elephants are so cool
because we had to make guns that human beings can't fire to deal with that shit.
Like the idea, like the idea of like in a Tony Jawa movie,
the elephants going to fight the bad guy and then the bad guy pulls out a handgun.
Like that's hilarious. Yeah.
I like elephants because they're generally they're like they're really cool.
Yeah, they're like they're super cool towards people and they're like, OK, you're OK.
You guys are assholes and they will remember it and just like fuck them up
if they get half a chance. And they never forget.
No, but those rampage videos of the like the circus elephants that get like go loose,
which is like which is like it's like animals is really the treatment they're given.
No, no, you can't. Right.
But like there's always that the trampolings you hear about, you know,
are the videos of going on a rampage and they've got any of these things.
Like you know what I mean?
It's a tank rolling down the street and you have to deploy anti-tank methods.
I actually like I get a kick out of like every now and then you watch like,
oh, Discovery Planet, it's like the cheetah is looking at the baby elephant,
but then decides fuck it, because all elephants.
And an elephant in its natural habitat might as well be invincible.
There was this game back in the day called Lion
where you just played as a lion and you'd go hunting and it was it was a good time.
It was pretty fun.
But like that was absolutely the case.
If like you see one elephant that is normal,
like that is more than enough reason to fuck it up, mission over.
Well, they can't and their skins usually too strong to be bitten through by anything,
but like a crocodile and if a crocodile does bite it,
they can just pick it up and throw it like 100 feet.
Well, like, dude, there's so many variables with it.
It's like it's like exactly like if your thing is like you can probably kill
like you could probably like the Analope.
Yeah, you'll you'll take that down.
Oh, yeah, the Analopter bitches.
Fuck the crocodile.
You'll probably stop it, but it'll stop you in the process
and you'll kind of just kill each other.
Crocodiles are pretty stupid about it, too.
I saw a video of a guy feeding a bunch of them
and he threw it too close to the other one's leg, like its forearm.
And one of the other crocodiles like took a bite and like death rolled out of it
and tore off the other one's arm and the one that got his arm tore off
just kind of just stood there like, what, what happened?
And the other one just eats his arm. Wow.
Reptiles are no reaction.
Reptiles are very tough.
Well, I think I mentioned to you before, but you remember those those pictures
of Gators down in I want to say Louisiana wasn't Florida,
but that got frozen in that fucking pond.
No. OK, so what happens is is the the Gator feels
OK, this pond is going to fucking freeze and we like the pond.
So they just stick their snouts up a couple inches above the water
and they let it live.
And the pond just freezes solid around them.
Oh, my God, and all that happens is they're really,
really pissed off for a while, but otherwise they're completely fine.
Oh, my God, I can't like.
Well, they had to survive the fucking ice age somehow.
Holy shit.
But the idea of like not even moving on to land just like fuck it,
let it freeze around me.
But like also just nothing else bites, locks in and then does a fucking
buzz saw twist, you know, like that is some next level destructive tech.
That's that's a Pokemon move.
You can heal from a bite wound.
You can't heal from just like shredded flesh.
Yeah, I don't want to get around a snapping turtle either.
Those things are those.
Those things really fuck you up.
Those they the snapping.
At least it's a clean cut.
The snapping turtle videos are like mechanical.
Yeah, they look like like someone took a like a wire cutter.
Yeah, like I'd take that.
Honestly, I'd take that over a fucking Gator
because the doctor can look at the two parts and see where they fit together.
Yeah, not with the Gator.
Not with the fucking role.
I mean, the fact that what was it?
Matt went to that place where they were pretty much like no, no,
go wild, kill as many as you can.
It's open Gator season because they have to control the population.
There's a lot of Gators around right now.
It's you know what I mean?
Like it's like it's like the exact opposite of like it's endangered.
It's like, please slay as many as you like letting your cats and dogs outside.
Then here is a gun.
Yeah, here.
Oh, yeah.
Is a steer deer have that problem in a lot of places that obviously
nowhere near as destructive as a swarm of Gators.
Coyotes, man, whatever you get, especially like northern people,
like guns are wrong.
You shouldn't be hurting animals and you get that shit down here.
It's like, no, no, you need to control the population of these animals.
Do you want?
They're not going to come into your home
and start eating your children or anything.
Dear, well, if too many deer is not a good thing.
Yeah, a coyote will.
If you have a kid like a small enough child or dog in your backyard.
I was out in the back to fucking problems out in the fucking
shitholes of the Eastern townships a couple of years ago.
And my girlfriend's dad at the time made me sleep out in the fucking yard.
He's a fucking asshole.
And he's like, oh, yeah, so there's like a coyote problem.
Good luck with that.
Like I got a significant feeling from dad that I was not welcome.
Just saying, just saying, just saying.
No, the I mentioned it before, I think a couple of times,
but like facts, I'm hearing about them like when you hunt them down,
the females will like give birth to higher higher litters,
knowing that you're trying to eradicate the local population.
That's a good trick, right? That's a good trick.
And there's a really cool story that was on
Rogan's podcast like about how he had a friend that had a a people
and like one day like the pit bull just came back super fucked up,
just limping in bloody and whatnot. Right.
And it was like, you know, you just came back,
but like you're like, what the fuck happened, right?
And they followed the trail of blood behind him up into the mountains
and way, way up into the into the fucking deep.
They found a spot where the blood trail stopped
and like seven coyote bodies were just mangled apart.
And you're just like, oh, my God, the story, right?
We used to raise pit bulls, actually, for a little bit.
You have to get out of it, though, because there's because they're pit bulls.
There are way too many assholes that will like abuse the animals.
You're like, we're just breeding them just because we just like dogs.
And yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But for them, it was like, no, we're going to do stuff for them.
Like, no, you're not, no, you're not.
And we have to go through this investigation process.
Like, all right, who are you and like, anyways.
But pit bulls, they are like the warmest, most like gentle animals in the world.
But they do have that sort of gator thing where if they lock onto you,
then that's it.
Like they're not like because that's their instinct. Right.
And it's like, and like, there's no warning signs, right?
Like every other dog is a warning sign of aggression.
But apparently with pit bulls, there is none.
It just happens.
And yeah, it's just like a it's just an impulse followed by
this is what I'm supposed to do because I was bred for this purpose.
It's like trying to discourage a doxin from digging or something like that.
Oh, good luck with that.
This is what they're going to do.
I want to pet a doxin right now.
I'm going to a Pomeranian.
I don't want it to be hippy, though.
Yeah, what?
What's wrong with a hippy dog?
Because they do it.
Like, have you never been around a Pomeranian that much?
They yip all the time. Oh, yeah.
It's adorable.
The problem with the hippy dog is living next to a hippy dog.
Well, I mean, I have a cat that like screams all day.
This is nowhere near that.
And like, you know, you don't want to be a shitty neighbor.
Fuck them.
Your dog is more important than your neighbors.
That is true.
Yeah, you're like, I care about your ugly children or your youth lives.
I've got a Pomeranian.
We would have a fun time.
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
We would be beyond that fucking piece of shit.
Ginger ass fuck that lives upstairs.
Oh, yeah.
How would you know what you're going to do about it?
What are you going to do about it?
Nothing.
You know, mail you dog turds.
Mail them.
Wait, they why would you go through the process of mailing it?
Add one extra removal of my own personal responsibility.
Yeah, it was the mailman that delivered you the dog.
How large is the space under your door crack?
How large is that?
Can I fit? Can I fit you in?
That's horrible.
Don't do that.
That's bad to say.
Yeah, a lot of things can fit inside of a letterhead.
Push through the window, bitch.
Fucking yeah, that would be that's the kind of thing.
You can have the window and like blowing the wind
and through the cracks of the window.
That's the kind of thing that like ends with the building burning down.
Yeah, that's like like a pretty like like pouring water
on your own floor to find the leak spot.
Is that the most extreme like you like you know where it is?
And then you go, that's the spot right there.
I'm going to destroy my condo for to fuck with the guy underneath me.
Fuck him. Oh, he's gone for a week.
Yeah, just get the pipe under his door.
Oh, man, they're pumping in gas.
Be fun to come back to this neuro toxin is colorless and odorless.
Never suspects.
Oh, that dog is just a crime.
No, it's probably fine.
That's a bad that's a bad that's a bad.
Don't know. No, don't do that.
Just be nice to each other. Don't make noise.
My dog is more important than your life.
A lot of lessons can be like a lot of the like bear attack videos and shit.
The bear wasn't doing anything.
You're just being an asshole to it.
Hey, hey, look at this bear.
Look at this bear.
Ha, ha, ha.
Why are so many people like that where they want to treat animals as toys?
Like, oh, God, it exists.
Doesn't mean, oh, look at this.
Yeah, like a stupid white person.
I'm going to put my fucking arm around it when it's not looking.
What's wrong with you?
Keep your arms to yourself.
The whole thing about treating the pets as toys, though,
like, there's a whole category of toy dogs put poodles
that are shaved to look like other animals.
Yeah, that's hilarious.
And it's fucked, man.
It's hilarious.
It's fucked.
What are you doing?
Why would you do that?
That dog's not a Green Bay Packer fan.
Stop it. Maybe it is.
Stop shaving him to be a fucking cheesehead.
Ah, come on.
Don't dress your animals up in cute clothing.
But it's not even the clothing.
Like, I'll, you know what?
Like, I won't even get off on your get in your face about the clothing.
It's like the people that die it and shave it's fur.
It's like, oh, look, it's a little buffalo.
You can dye your pet with food coloring and it's totally safe.
So don't use hair. Don't use dye.
We'll kill them.
It's fucking always see the sadness in their eyes.
You can always tell. Listen, listen, there's a there's a photo of
there's one photo of Elmo for many years ago
where he's wearing a little jacket and you can tell that the it's it's like,
you know, from back and what you can tell that the the Elmo is just like
totally rigid and just like, I do not like this jacket.
And that is the only photo because then they took the jacket off.
It is never enjoyable.
Now, that's not true.
There is one situation when the fur is shaved and then it's
Nick and super cold and then you want to keep it warm, which dogs need to wear.
There are Chihuahuas in my building and the Chihuahuas need their little booties
in their coats because Chihuahuas don't have shit for fur.
Sure. And they need their they need their winter clothing.
And also, oh, my God, it looks so cute with the Chihuahuas and his little booties.
Sure. Sure.
The little dog with the full boots.
They're there.
They're the ones that nature would have like fucking taken care of otherwise.
Well, no, they're the ones that are thousands of miles away from their natural climate.
You're right. That's true. That's true.
But it's it's why when you have a dog that's like a Bernie's
mountain dog or Newfoundland dog, you think about shaving them in the summer
because fuck they're meant for mountain cold.
But keep your fucking colors and props off of your fucking animal.
I want to put a little Jesus Christ on my cat.
I will put a little hat like like if I want to dress him up like a fireman,
I will dress him up like a little miss hand on your pants either.
Like a bandana is the furthest it should ever fucking go.
Bandana is cute on a bandana is literally like around the like.
Yes, don't go any fucking further than that.
And that comes from dogs like Newfie Danes and whatnot,
where it's like you really want a big bandana around the the horse's neck
so that when they're just slobbering and all that,
you have something to wipe up their shit with.
Sure. Sure.
I want to put a hat on a dog right now.
Where were the ears?
Leave your pets alone.
No, like a little hat.
Like even the people that like they own a cat
and they obviously don't know how to handle it.
And they're like picking it up and like slinging it around
and throwing it over their shoulder like a baby.
And generally just treating it like a huge asshole.
Leave them alone.
Like the cats, a huge asshole or like they're being a huge asshole?
They're being a huge asshole to the poor animal
when the cat might become an asshole as a result
because it was raised that way.
Yeah. It learned it from its own father.
Elmo learned how to be a good cat from the dumpster.
Giant fucking spider costume on that dog.
That's hilarious, dude.
That is a good one.
The dog is into it.
You wouldn't tell if the legs are bouncing around
and no one knows what's going on.
And from a distance, you get.
It looks like a nightmare.
Yeah, it really fucked up.
The dog looks super happy that it's like,
hey, I'm a spider.
I chase people.
It isn't even that the people are afraid of spider.
They're afraid because it's moving because it's real.
But I can't tell what it is.
Yes, no, your brain takes a minute
and your brain reacts to the spider-shaped fear
so much faster than it does to the clear dog face.
It reacts to the silhouette.
This generic silhouette and a size that's wrong.
And oh, no, that's not.
I'm not imagining that movement.
That movement is real.
And your brain just goes, run.
Not a toy, not a toy.
Threat, threat, threat.
There's a really specific type of movement where it's like
if they put it on like a drone or like an RC car,
it would move like, I want to say like linearly.
So it wouldn't cause that reaction.
Predictable, yeah.
But because it's a real dog
and there's just a little bit up and down, a little.
It's like, yeah, oh yeah.
Totally, that get fucks with me every time, every time.
What?
Yeah, what did you do with your week, William?
Let's do that.
Let's go there, let's go there.
Okay, fine.
Hey, man, that was a good run.
I love animals.
I love animals.
Good people.
I want to hug all of the animals.
I want to hug the ones that won't kill me.
How about that?
I want to hug to have a bobcat
if it wouldn't completely annihilate my house
and eventually kill me.
Yeah.
A goat would be fun if it would like not chew everything
and be annoying.
Yeah.
Guts are super cute.
We have sheep, they're kind of assholes though.
Aren't sheep dumb as fuck?
Yeah, super dumb.
Oh man, there's those ones that freeze up
when you scare them.
Oh yeah, the goats.
Right, the goats are ridiculous.
Don't do that though, that's bad for their joy.
Oh yeah, for sure, for sure.
But then you can take the ears of one
and cover its eyes with it
and then pop it open and it's like peek-a-boo.
And it's like, you can go like,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
And it goes like,
Was that your week?
That was my week.
Just finding goats.
I covered goat's eyes with its ears
and then I opened it and then it made a happy face
and then I did it again and that was my whole week.
See, that's your content for Woolly Versus.
That's what you should be uploading.
Oh man.
Peek-a-boo.
Yeah, yeah.
I did.
Woolly Versus the petting zoo?
Yes.
We don't have any petting zoos.
Yes, you do.
You want to go down, Easter's coming up.
Angrenio?
Go down to Angrenio, there's a petting zoo every year.
Isn't that just a normal zoo?
Or I didn't know it was a tired petting zoo.
Dude, they got alpacas, they got sheep,
they got goats, they got all sorts of shit.
I go every year and every year.
Is this an ad read?
Dude, every year.
There's no, but we do have those.
Oh, let's take our ad reach, shall we?
Yeah, maybe we should.
Talking about bullshit for an hour or two.
God damn it, you know what?
There was even a pretty roll.
If you're tired after a hard day of heavy petting.
We'll do it all later and post it.
We'll do it all later and fix it in post.
All right.
So this is, the ad goes here.
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That sucks.
But,
but,
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I really, really, really kind of want to.
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All right.
Every year, I go to the petting zoo by myself
and I had careful, I think, you know, in LaSalle.
And every year, I can see the one parent
that thinks I'm there to fuck their kids.
Because I'm a grown man at the petting zoo.
Come on, come on.
You can tell.
You can tell.
And I know what they're thinking in their mind.
They're thinking, I can tell.
I have a very important question for you.
Don't wear your, I'm here to fuck your child, sir.
I am there to pet the alpacas.
Are you staring at their kids or the animals?
I'm staring at the goats.
Are you staring at their children
like you're looking at a cake, like your mouth?
Slightly, you get drool hanging out of one side.
You guys are such assholes.
Are parental instincts kicking in
because actions are being taken?
No, they're kicking in
because I look like a creepy weirdo.
Okay.
Well, I also do remember that place smells like shit,
but what are you gonna do?
Dude, animal shit, and they don't have shame.
That's what happens, yeah.
That's what happens when you have an animal.
That's the best part about sheep.
They just walk around, just a storm of pellets
that falls out of them.
They just keep on going.
I don't rabbit shit like 300 times a day.
I still can't.
You ever wish that people were like that?
Just walking around.
What benefit to what gain, Eli?
Dignity would have a new context.
Just a bunch of dipping dots
just pouring out the back end, just keep on going.
I'm not suggesting anything.
I mean, Eli, are you on the toilet?
Yeah, there is a storm going on outside
and a storm going on inside.
Ooh, all right.
If only if that same world meant there was no smell
and itself eradicated.
There wouldn't be no smell,
but the smell would be so ever-present in all areas
and normal.
You wouldn't even detect it.
Yeah, there you go.
See, so if you just shit everywhere in your house,
consistently, you'll get used to it.
But then you have to worry about the mess.
That's the still, you know what I mean?
Like you can't escape the fact
that there are multiple properties.
Yes, there are properties.
I'd play here.
This life on the farm.
Like there's sheep everywhere here.
There's shit everywhere here.
You can't avoid it, so you just give up.
Whenever I go to the Mexican place
and I'm like, give me some pollo fundito or whatever,
they're like, what's that smell?
I'm like, I don't smell anything.
I don't know what you're talking about.
And it's not, because it's sheep, it's not contained.
It's like spread out like fucking.
It's like you take a bag of cereal
and just open up the bottom and just fling it into a field.
That, that's what goats do.
That's a really clear method.
That's exactly what goats do.
It is even.
There are not piles.
It's not horse shit.
We've talked about this on the podcast.
We've literally done it.
And you go, you went to Nara.
You've seen what it's like.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not a good time.
Deer smell, man.
They're all right.
Deer smell like shit.
They make horrible noises.
There's so many more offensive ones, to be honest.
They don't make cute noises, like a little baby lamb.
Lamb has an alpaca smell so much worse than deer.
No, they do that.
Camels are fucking awful.
Their camels are super gross
because they're always matted up in their fur and shit.
Have you ever seen what a camel looks like
whenever it's like mating season?
No, I don't want to think about this.
They get this thing where their tongue like swells up
and becomes engorged and it's constantly hanging out
the side of their face
and they're just drooling constantly.
It's so fucked up.
Camels are horrible.
Lion dung will knock you out.
Oh yeah?
It'll knock you out, like the level of intensity
because it's all meat.
It's all concentrated meat.
There's nothing else in there.
Have you ever smelled something so bad
you actually felt like you were gonna throw up?
Yeah, absolutely.
Absolutely, absolutely.
Absolutely, 100%
There was one time where that happened to me
and it was, I think someone had killed a deer or something
and we were having it, like we were cutting it in two
and someone hit the dunk sack
and I was like, no, I didn't, like I thought it was a joke
that something could be so bad,
like I wasn't bothered by the scene
because this is just farm life.
But the smell was so fucking horrendous.
Do you have skunks down there?
You lie.
Yes.
Okay, because a skunk is bad.
No, my absolute, it'll never go away.
It's burnt in, but it's working on the road.
One time I was doing a...
Playing peek-a-boo with goats on the road.
Yeah, I was working a shitty job in high school.
And one of the times we, like I went on a road trip
with a bunch of people up to whatever it was.
One of those hour out of town, like Nuns Island
or some sort of shit like that.
And on the way, the driver was just a jackass
and he was that kind of guy that would be like,
hey man, you wanna see some funny shit?
And so on the way down to the location,
there was Skunk Roadkill on the road
and he drove over it.
That's not funny.
And it was like, oh, fuck, you guys see that?
Everyone's like, ew, right, whatever.
And so we were laughing about it
because it made the van smell for the day, basically.
And it was like, oh my fucking God,
it's stuck in there and whatever.
And so it became such a thing.
And then on the way back, he's like,
hey, there it is again, there it is again, right?
Why?
Everyone's like, ah, no.
And then he's like, he's like, fucking, fucking,
he's like, watch this shit.
And he fucking puts the back wheel on the skunk
and tries to spin off.
And spins, he doesn't try.
He successfully fucking spins off
and revs that shit everywhere
to the point where the tire burns out
and you smell burnout mixed with Skunk.
And the smell of burnt rubber mixed with Skunk
is single-handedly the most disgusting thing
I've ever smelted in my life.
It's like, congrats, not only are you an asshole,
but you probably just destroyed your van.
My, like, I couldn't,
there was nothing in my stomach to vomit up.
So I was just vomiting nothing.
Oh, that's the worst.
And I just sat in the bed and the thing vomiting nothing.
And like, like half an hour later,
everyone's like, dude, like, are you still seriously?
And I'm like, I couldn't deal with it.
And the only way back that I like,
managed to calm down was someone had to fucking give me
their stick of like fucking body spray,
you know, like the deodorant type thing.
And I just had to hold that to my nose.
Like smelling salt?
I just had to hold it to my nose
for the rest of the car ride
because anything else was death.
Oh man, that's, that guy,
do you happen to know what happened with that guy's van?
I fucking left that job, dude.
I don't know, like, I wouldn't even know his van.
That's the kind of thing that like,
the car is destroyed.
Like you'll never get it out, ever.
Just for a fucking game.
And that's the thing about skunks.
It's not even, it's not even the worst smell usually,
but it's like that pungent shit
has some kind of bonding property
that just stays forever.
Yeah, even if you drive past the thing,
like it's just on the side of the road somewhere,
you can't even see it,
it will still cling to everything.
Yeah, it's like, there's been times
where my brother will walk in and like, what is that smell?
It's like, I drove past a skunk
and it's just drowning. Just drove past it.
That's why when you see a skunk walking down the street,
which I always find hilarious
because it knows that it can walk down the street,
you cross the road, you see the skunk,
you go, okay, you cross the other side of the street
and you let it be on its business.
And smell is the strongest memory trigger.
Yep, it is, it's like every detail, every detail.
I think skunks are the fucking coolest.
It's this cute little road.
Yeah, they're super cute
and they're actually pretty nice for the most part.
Yeah, they're really nice.
Even if you have one as a pet,
you absolutely must get it defamed.
De-skunked.
Yeah, but even then, even if you have a pet skunk,
they actually still have this weird musky smell to them
that's really unpleasant.
But it's like, it's a cute little animal that decided,
hey, what if I just piss in everyone's face
and make it the worst thing ever for them?
So I don't know if Eli's deliberately attempting
to stay off the subject matter that we usually discuss,
but we could also have this lion video.
Yeah, okay, you did pretty good though.
That, we got pretty far.
That's pretty good.
I improved the podcast for an hour and 30 minutes into it.
You did.
See, here's the thing you don't know about Eli.
Eli hates video games.
It's true.
All right, so this week then.
Yeah, yeah.
I actually had one, so I wouldn't mind.
I'm gonna fucking piss my pants up.
Are you okay?
No.
He's not even, he's lying.
He doesn't have to piss.
He doesn't want to hear about your week.
You tell me about your week.
Well, it's being hidden.
It's being hidden behind this bag here,
but there's totally the, look at that.
Look at the double red bull right there.
Double giant red bull at that, mind you.
Not even the small cans.
Isn't he supposed to be eating and drinking healthier?
Yeah, well, you know, I don't know.
And of course now the page is gone,
infesting his body with that shit.
Oh my God, like fucking going back to old videos
and hearing like, oh, she's gone.
Stuff this fucking 450 calorie muffin into my face.
Like, mm.
Like she won't know.
It comes back and he's like 15 extra pounds.
Yeah.
The calories don't count if she's not there to yell at me.
Yeah.
It's more visible when it happens suddenly.
So she comes back and he's like visibly bigger.
It's the most visible thing ever.
Strategic fucking bag place.
Get the fuck out of here.
And I'm pretty sure that's the daily limit there too as well.
You know, so fucking.
Yeah, you can't eat or drink anything else.
Not even like food.
That's it.
That's your life now.
What the fuck?
You fucking cake lord.
What the fuck are you doing here?
I just walk in and Willie's like staring at the door
waiting for me to come back
and he calls me a cake lord.
What the fuck are you doing?
We were talking about smells that made us throw up
and well, one thing led to another.
We eventually got there, didn't we?
Yeah.
Yes.
So then this week, a couple of things happened.
I finally got to put some time into the breach.
Yes, all right.
Fuck yeah, that's a good ass game.
That's some fun.
That game is so good.
From the guys that made FTL, it is micro tactics.
It's like tactics on the go.
And I can't believe it's not on like your phone
or on anything portable.
Cause it's so good for that.
The interface is also clearly built with mobile in mind.
It's such a touchable, you know, like it's simple thing.
They must be porting it right now.
Yeah.
And it saves mid-match,
which is something I learned last week.
Cool.
Cool, cool.
I mean, I didn't try that,
but like, yeah, I guess I would assume so.
Like there's no downside
cause you can keep your run going, you know.
Yeah, it's a pure, it's like a save state.
It's like it, exactly.
And it slays out into the breach,
plays out like a puzzle game.
So, you know, it is basically like,
it's from the makers of FTL and you may,
and you play on a small grid.
It's quite small.
It's like 20 squares.
Maybe 20 by, yeah, maybe it's 10 by 10,
maybe bigger than that, maybe 15 by 15,
but not a whole lot of squares to work with.
And you only have three units.
You have three units and they have three distinct functions.
And you can always see where the enemy is about to attack
and you have to basically push and attack them
and get them out of the way
of destroying you and or buildings.
And there's a shared limited amount of damage
you can allow buildings to take
before your game is completely over,
over the course of your whole play through.
Yeah, your life bar is civilian casualties,
not your mechs.
Your mechs will heal to full after every match,
but their pilots won't.
Well, it's actually wired electrical buildings
that have the defenses,
because you're powering up the defense
that keeps the the VEC, the alien VEC
from like all surfacing at the same time.
It's basically emerging, right?
So you have to keep the power grid high enough
to keep them out.
Have you gotten far enough
that you can pick all three of your units?
I've gotten far enough that I've unlocked the first,
I've unlocked two different teams.
Okay.
And,
because what you can do is if you really want to go
like for a fucking weird run.
So like the very first group that you get
is made out of a robot that can punch,
a robot that shoots in a straight line,
and a robot that fires in a mark,
which is artillery or a mortar, yeah.
And it pushes people out to the sides from the last point.
But if you want,
you can end up rocking like punch robot, punch robot,
punch robot.
For fun times.
Yes.
And what ends up happening-
You lose ability to make achievements though
in the process.
Yeah.
And what ends up happening is that you run into situations
like, oh man, this is a cakewalk.
And then you have other situations where you're like,
I'm fucked.
Yeah.
I'm super fucked.
Like for example, like any mission
where there's something like water
and like you have to go attack,
you can attack in the water,
but your mortar can get over there.
Yeah.
And you can push it.
Motherfuckers into the water.
No, the three they give you by default
are really good as a team.
That's the thing.
They're nice balanced.
That's their perfectly balanced.
Most of them are really well balanced for that reason.
It's a Hadoken, a Shoryuken, and a Tatsu.
Yeah.
All in all together.
It's really, really well done.
Did you unlock the steel judoka?
No.
So I unlocked the...
No, the other thing is I have the money
for my second one and I didn't spend it yet,
but I bought the electric one, the electric team.
And I was sorely disappointed because they suck.
Balanced.
They're like the trade off for your punch mech
becoming a mech that can do chain lightning
on adjacent tile enemies is not worth it
because those enemies don't move.
And you want to move people more
than you want to put them.
Then you should unlock the steel judoka
because they barely do any damage.
But they move.
You have unparalleled control.
That's all, yeah.
Perfect.
The punch robot equivalent.
I think it does one or two points of damage only,
but its move is that instead of punching forward,
it picks the enemy up and puts them behind them.
Oh, awesome.
It does a fucking judo throw.
Yeah, it throws them over their head.
That's amazing.
And you can just nullify tons of shit with that,
but it's hard to kill things.
Yes.
No, and that's fine because I mean,
like there's like,
I managed to do,
so here's what happened is I did three runs
that fucking just wiped, right?
Oh, I did so many wiped runs.
I did two runs that just like I died almost immediately,
not understanding the system.
I did a third one where I grasped it.
And then new mechanics were kind of introduced
that I was like, oh, wait, what?
And that wiped me.
And then on my fourth run,
I got a fucking streak going.
And I got all the way up to the third island on that.
Wow, I've only beaten the first island.
Yeah, so I got to...
I've actually gotten to the end of the game.
And there's something you get,
I'm not gonna spoil anything,
but there's something you have to do at the very...
After the four islands or when it first unlocks?
Well, you can unlock the last island right away.
Yeah, you can beat two islands
and that will cause the final island to pop up.
So I've gotten through all four and then gone to the end.
And you have to do something.
You're not gonna say what it is.
But there's sort of like a final ball sort of thing
where I was on the very last hit
and then suddenly everything steamrolled
in the opposite direction where I lost like two mechs
in the space of two turns and I managed to still lose.
Like, and that was on easy and it was still rough.
But that was pretty early on.
I played a lot of...
Oh yeah, you play on easy or normal?
Oh, normal.
Okay, yeah.
I've been playing on normal.
Normal was a bit much.
It's too much RNG associated with it.
With easy, it's like you're playing a puzzle game
and that's all it is.
Well, everything is a right or wrong decision.
It still is on normal.
Yeah, it definitely is, yeah.
I still do feel like that.
And in fact, I don't know what does easy do.
Easy basically, I think it's exactly the same
except that there's like one less spawn per turn.
It's something like that.
I'm not sure on the exacts on that.
I guess that I got through islands in
and I've been on normal, so I'm like, I'm okay.
Do the achievements and unlocks count on easy?
Yes, the idea is you're supposed to go through on easy,
build up a minor team and then jump up to normal.
Oh, okay.
And by RNG, I mean, like everything is,
you can beat everything.
But as far as like normal goes,
there are some circumstances where you're,
cause there is no like random number generator,
like it's not like XCOM,
where you can see you have 50% chance to hit
or anything like that.
Well, the map is RNG, right?
The map is random.
It is generated, I think.
There might be, I think it's generated.
There might be a specific tile thing, but.
Yeah, it felt like the maps change every time.
But there are circumstances that you can't control,
in other words.
Maybe I'll give it another shot on easy,
cause I keep having the problem.
Are you having hit the streak?
I think honestly, I don't think you need it.
I think you just need to like the problem with me.
Get the rolling start.
Is that I get to the end of the first island
and I'm like, this run is garbage and I start over.
You got a darkest dungeon it, man.
You can do that intentionally too.
You got a darkest dungeon it.
I mean, so here's the thing.
I got. You're not playing to beat the game.
You're playing to get something.
When I, by the time I got past the second boss,
I had like one electric pip left.
And I'm like, well, this runs over.
Yeah.
Right?
But it wasn't, right?
That's the thing is like, I had like one pip left
and then I continued onward and like managed to basically
prioritize always saving building destruction
instead of, you know, like as my major thing.
Take the hits wherever you can.
This is the main thing, you don't want to hit enemies.
Of course.
And eventually there's a point where you get back those pips.
And then you can even buy back some of those pips
in exchange for upgrades.
And it's like, that's not that bad.
You know?
I know.
It's fun.
The general gameplay of Indie Bridge seems to be
some teams are made for killing enemies.
Some are meant for relocating enemies.
Yes.
And relocation is way more useful.
Yes.
But you will end up stacking so many enemies
that you can't deal with all of them.
Whereas the ones that do straight up damage
often have ways of dealing a lot of damage.
But you can also damage buildings
in the process of doing that.
Precisely.
There's this trade in that regard.
I played a lot of Xenoth Guard
and it's sort of a mix of those two
where there's one mech that deals
an absurd amount of damage.
And then there's one that does no damage at all
and never can almost.
Is Xenoth Guard the electric one?
Xenoth Guard is the one that has a laser mech
that can fire through things.
Okay.
No, I don't.
I don't know.
It has a really interesting mech
that is it can, it's like a rover,
like a, it does a tank
and it can drive in the enemies
and slam itself into them.
And I managed to get a pilot
that has a trade that gives you armor
so that it made it invulnerable
to taking damage from its own attacks.
Cool. Okay.
Yeah.
So the upgrades are all really strong
and fantastic as well.
That's a fun thing.
But like, so that electric team, for example,
that I was saying that I wasn't liking,
I can see the intended design though
because the punch unit has like,
like I said, that chain lightning effect.
Your second unit that shoots a straight line
actually just gets a grappling hook
that does no damage.
And it can either pull itself or push something.
That's awesome.
Right?
Or rather pull something towards it.
And so what you're supposed to do is use that guy
to line up the enemies together
and then use the bolt guy to do the damage on them.
Yeah.
And then you do a combined total damage
way higher than anything else can do.
And exactly.
And it feels like that's what they want you to set up.
But like, it just, so many, so many times
the enemies are so far apart from each other.
Yeah.
It's opportunistic.
Exactly.
Something you can do.
I like Into the Breach so much more than FTL.
And I really, really liked FTL.
Me too.
Me too.
And I didn't, like I said, FTL didn't click with me.
I feel like this absolutely did.
The grid and turn base structure
and the method of like, you always see,
like even if it's just as hard as FTL,
I think it's a little easier.
But I feel like I have so much more control.
Control.
Over whether or not I fail or not.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
It's you made the bad puzzle decision.
And thankfully you have your,
you have your undo movement
and then you have your reset the turn button.
Cause you can see halfway through like.
I didn't know about that until like four days ago.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The reset button is going to save you.
FTL did give me a lot of good memories though.
I fucking love setting those manted creatures on fire.
What's.
It was so much fun.
What's really, really satisfying too is
how far you can get with such a low level of upgrades
and loadouts, just with good decision making.
And then you eventually get these few,
few points to spend on a little bit more life
or like a little bit more of a special move.
And like, you pretty much,
it's such a minor thing over the course of the playthrough.
And then you go back to the beginning
and you save that one pilot that you want, right?
And then you get the money to unlock
all these other fucking teams.
And it's like, there's so much more content there
than there's so much.
There's so much more content there
than like you really need when you feel like
going through it the first time.
Like if they just stuck with that original team
and then full game exactly just that original team
and like a lot of a couple of different islands
and stuff is fine.
But the fact that they went back to it
and put like more teams than islands,
eight teams, 20 ish pilot, right?
And then you mix and match and I don't even,
I haven't even met a second pilot yet.
You know what I mean?
I haven't even had a moment like as you,
you save those time pods to find out what's in them.
And I still, I still haven't met a second pilot.
So I'm like, I don't even know what that's about.
But like the fact that there's that level of customization
on your team, your pilot, your mech, your abilities,
you can move in and out the abilities
on the mechs that you already choose anyway.
So if you want the punch mech with an electric power,
you can do like, it's crazy.
You doesn't need that much freedom.
The biggest problem I had with FTL is that you had to fight
big fucking super boss at the end.
And getting there is one thing,
but getting there, like you also had to get lucky
that the right upgrades had to be available
for you over the course.
That was the main problem that day.
In the end of the bridge, there's a lot of side grades.
And I would say that most of the things that you can get
are going to be things that are not even better
than the thing that you already have.
It will change how you play the game,
but it's not going to be something that's straight up better.
And FTL, you needed to have better weapons.
You just might not get them.
You might want, you'd want the drones, I think it was.
And it's like, oh, you didn't,
those never showed up in your run.
You're fucked.
There's a lot of things in FTL that are really,
like I love the idea of you can make a build
that was 100% based around setting fires
on the inside of the ship.
It doesn't deal any damage to the ship.
It just sets everything on fire.
Then there's another kind of build
where you can send away teams in to invade them
and like kill everyone on board and lead the ship intact.
You could do that too.
But you had no control over whether or not
you were going to do that or not.
It was just, oh, I got this very early on.
So I'm going to aim for it.
And then there's a second component to that build
that you would need and it just never shows up.
That was my primary problem with FTL.
There's something incredibly satisfying
about the perfect play.
Where I straight up feel like
how it used to be playing football.
Where it's like, the feeling of the perfect play
in the breach is exactly like football.
Where you move this guy over here
and you straight up block the opening
of where the thing's coming up the ground.
That's what we would do is on the line,
you're like, okay, the running back
is coming through this hole over here.
The offense is going to try to push us this way.
You close the line where the guy's trying to run.
So he has to panic and find a way to move around.
And the offensive line was not ready for that.
And then you have your guys on the corners
pretty much closing in and pincering at that time.
And it's the perfect shutdown.
That's a football.
That's a football, right?
Basketball is obviously a very different sport
in many ways, but it does the same thing.
Like if you're gonna set up your screens
and you're gonna try to take baseline, whatever.
Someone picks perfectly, creates the hole for you
and you get the opening, absolutely.
That's the great thing about being a point guard.
Is that whenever you're trying to,
like you have to see the court
and you have to lay out everyone's here
and you have to do it on the fly.
That's the great thing about basketball.
Yeah.
So you totally feel like you've done exactly
what you got your coaches pencil out.
You drew the routes, you know what I mean?
And then you have your guy push the alien onto the thing
where the next one is trying to spawn.
The one that spawns kills that guy.
The other one that comes up shoots
the one that was about to hit your building.
And I had moments where like the clutchest moment ever
was the game was going to be over
depending on which alien attacked first.
Right?
Because one alien was gonna mortar
the one that was about to end the game.
And I don't know whether the alien was gonna hit the building
or the mortar was gonna hit the alien.
I should mention that if you,
there's a button or a mouse over on the screen
in which you can see what order they're gonna attack.
Oh, fuck.
Okay, I didn't find that.
You can see this guy,
you can see this guy, this guy, this guy.
I know, there's a mouse over
where you see the order of events.
Yeah.
Where it says.
You can see details.
Environment, then enemy actions,
then other things and so on.
But I didn't know which one was gonna attack first.
I didn't find that.
Yeah, you can plan for that.
Cool, okay.
Well, I got lucky and survived
because he murdered the enemy
before he hit it to got the final building.
It is super satisfying.
They see them all lined up on buildings
and you drag one of them over
so that it's aiming directly at the other enemy.
That is so satisfying.
Yes, and then they crash into each other.
Mm-hmm.
And that does tons.
There's a upgrade for,
I can't remember the name of the mic,
but there's one that makes it so that
instead of dragging the enemy one tile towards you
with a ranged attack,
it actually flips them
so that it makes them attack the opposite direction.
So there's been times where I-
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
Like they spin.
They 180.
Yeah, yeah.
If 180 is their attack direction.
Oh, that's strong.
So I've had these moments where I knock one enemy over
and then turn the other one around
so they fire into one another and kill each other.
That's really strong,
because yeah, later on in the further islands,
you get our enemies with a hardened carapace
and they can basically reduce one point of damage
on anything you do.
So if you do a one point damage attack,
you do zero.
And you're basically playing move the block
with that enemy.
And certain bugs have like three tiles of damage.
So it's not even like the long projectile,
but it's just like three things
so you can't back up or move, you know?
There's all these little way harder enemies
to deal with later on.
And the mission types have a good variety as well.
Like protect the missile silos.
Occasionally the missiles will like launch
and blow everything up.
Lightning storms, sand storms,
like lots of cool little tileset.
It is like a plus indie game.
It is so good.
And it absolutely needs to.
Come to our foes.
Yeah, it needs to show up on a lot of places.
This is super addictive.
This is one of the first games in a long time
that I've actually been like put this on my fucking.
I don't want it on my PC, put it on my fucking phone.
I would play this all the time.
I would play this hours a day if it was on my phone.
I, same here, I feel it, I feel it.
And it doesn't scratch, thankfully in a way,
I'll say it doesn't scratch the same itch
I have for Dark Extension.
Cause that's a different type of run.
Well, that's building up success.
Yeah.
And there's so much variety with the teams
going in and out from mission to mission
that like your whole town is a whole,
is like a living, breathing sort of entity
that you want to keep track of.
In this, you're just jumping with your three squad goons.
It's pure.
And if you, you know, your pilot might die,
well, throw an AI in there, you know, like sure.
But into the breach, absolutely worth every penny.
This developer has a bright future.
Incredible game.
So simple in its presentation and, you know,
and like the different island presidents
or like dictators, depending on who you encounter,
have great attitudes as well.
Like the first guy is just a very like typical sort of,
you know, almost like a Canadian prime minister.
Oh, we've got the old earth here and we've got some tanks.
And then you take a trip over
to fucking talk to Maggie Thatcher, you know?
And then you've got like, like someone
who's not even human necessarily.
And it's a whole thing.
It's very fun.
The biggest itch for me usually in games
is the ability to build things
that is take a bunch of stuff and make it work together.
Which is why I played Guild Wars one for years and years.
And in the breach, I really appreciate
that there's so many side grades where you can just,
I just wish that you had,
I wish it was a different game sometimes
where I could actually pick and choose them
just to try everything,
to create things that people may not consider.
Yeah.
Yeah, like I look into the breach and part of me
in my heart just like, what if instead of level based,
this had a storyline
and I built up my characters over time.
Hey, why don't we just call it front mission pocket?
Why don't we just call it front mission pocket?
Because that's what it is.
It's fucking front mission pocket and it's great.
It's fucking great.
It's so good.
I also got to spend a good bit of time,
good to be time playing Kirby Star Allies.
I knew you were gonna talk about this
because you are the biggest Kirby fan I know.
Was he wearing shoes?
It's weird that I don't know anyone else
that's super into Kirby.
It's because it's for children.
But they're so good.
I've never had the urge to play a Kirby game.
Because they're like perfect games.
They're like perfect video games.
I don't care if it's for kids.
They're so good.
This is why you don't let Woolly around the petting zoo.
Because he's there playing a Kirby game
and that looks suspicious.
Kirby Star Allies is so fucking awesome
because it's all the things that Nintendo have learned
with the recent Mario games and so on,
put into a Kirby game.
So you got the overworld in these things in that way.
But one of the best fucking mechanics
is they introduce the main mechanic
as you make some buddies now.
You throw some stars at your friends at the enemies
and they become your friends, right?
Anyone that you can swallow
is someone that can just straight up be a partner.
Yeah.
Right?
Man, there's a lot of truth to that.
Oh, wow.
Did I really not click in for you?
Take a second.
Oh, man.
So what's happening is you throw the star, right?
And then you build up your squad
and you're rolling with your crew
and one of the best things,
because like,
Yeah, yeah, no, yeah, all right.
One of the best things is,
besides the fact that four players can jump in
and can jump in and control whoever they want.
Yeah.
Bring all your friends.
Kirby orgy, everybody, Kirby star orgy.
Just get everybody.
Find your favorite partner.
Yep, just, yep.
Big ol' fucking stick it anywhere, go anywhere.
Yep, just.
You set this up.
You set this up.
You fucked the whole thing up.
I was telling the most innocent story
about the most innocent character.
I was telling the most innocent story
about the most innocent character.
Having the most innocent adventures, you did this.
I did not.
A big fleshy orb that loves to suck people in.
You mean the Vore monster?
Oh, don't get started on his feet.
The Kirby mods were to give you.
A lot of that go on.
Those are horrific.
Those are weird.
It's really distracting around the office.
Please put those shoes back on.
Aye.
All right, that's not, that's fucking.
Can, yeah?
Is it safe to come out?
Just be, it's up to you, man.
Point being, it's a beautiful experience,
isn't it, Willie?
Yes, but what's awesome about it,
what's awesome about it is,
so my favorite thing for years has always been
Crystal shards, because for the simplify,
besides for two reasons, one, zero two, right?
But two, the fucking awesome mechanics
that is combining powers together.
Right.
I, like that just something inside of me
just is so satisfied.
A synthesis of two cool things is very cool.
Right, putting together rock and rock
and getting volcano, you know,
putting together beam and sword
and getting beat like lightsaber, Darth Kirby.
All those fucking things are so,
like just the random combinations,
you don't know what you're gonna get.
All the fun of the old games,
but another layer to it, right?
It's just so much fun to get that going.
And I always, always, always missed the fact
that no other game really had that experience.
That was 64?
64, Crystal shards.
The final boss of that game is,
the true final boss of that game is one of the greatest ever
and the theme and the music and everything about that moment
are like, if you haven't, if you don't know,
you're missing the fuck out.
But anyway, and that applies to most Kirby games,
that honestly, all these games that are like,
yeah, they're for kids and they're easy.
There's an escalation towards awesome final moments
in almost all of them.
The final bosses of Kirby games are like really, really good,
just video game boss fights in general.
And so what you do, what you get here now
with your Star Ally squad is you get a normal power
and then you hold up and then if you've got a weapon,
they'll hold the weapon up and then one of your buddies
will breathe on it or do their thing to it
and then you get a combination power.
Oh, well.
So the combos are back finally in a form
where you're doing double techs.
I also saw that there's a lot of selectable characters
in that game that are all very different.
Also, that's the other thing.
So you have like Star Buddies that are like the DDD
and like the actual characters that he hangs out with
besides the swallowing enemies.
And the observable enemies that like combined.
So you hold up like the hammer
and then you fucking breathe like,
oh, you put electricity on the hammer.
Now you got a shock hammer.
Nice.
And then you can do all the moves that the hammer does
with an extra layer of like thunder
blowing up the screen and shit.
And it's really, really fun to do that stuff.
So like, yeah, again, it's just,
they finally brought back one of my favorite Kirby mechanics
in the combination form.
And you also just run around with a squad
and like Kirby games are easy, right?
When you have four characters on the screen,
just decimating everything in a line,
like there's challenges almost non-existent, right?
But it's just fun.
It's just pure fun.
And I mean, eventually I'm sure the real bosses
are gonna show up where you're gonna stop and play.
Well, there's the fucking boss rush
or whatever the hell mechanic it is
that you kid Icarus like difficulty bet it
as you scale it up with a little spicy food.
And you have like one healer or something like that.
Exactly.
You have to pretty much boss butch.
Saw fucking, it's like the first two, three minutes
of the 18 minute video on the hardest difficulty.
And it's like, okay, it's Kirby just like dumping
an entire bottle of hot sauce on his curry.
And then it goes in and the first boss is the tree.
Whispy Woods, I think his name is or whatever.
And it's like, I can't understand what's happening
cause it's all four characters just comboing that tree.
Yeah.
Fucking up, yeah.
Wombo combos are all day in this game, right?
And one of the best things so far,
so like one of my favorite powers,
if not my favorite power of all time is the beetle.
Judo, Kirby basically.
And he just throws.
And what you do now, instead of like doing combinations
where you hold up and get like an electric judo
or something, you just hold up
and then one of your buddies jumps into your hand
and you fastball special.
Oh, great.
Your friend and they become a really powerful attack
bouncing around the screen.
I'm gonna throw DDD at this fuck.
And you just do it with all of them, right?
So like there's like a little cool things like that
where like you absolutely wombo combo the shit out of bosses.
But what you have to think about
and what you need to sort of acknowledge
in a lot of Kirby games though is that
the play through of the Kirby game is really like,
it's exact, it's like Monster Hunter if you want
where you can say that beating the game
means you've beaten the tutorial.
Beating the game is the start.
Right?
And the post game in Kirby is always really
where the difficulty kicks in.
And it's where all the different modes and things unlock
and where there's a lot of post game stuff to do.
It's like Devil May Cry almost.
Sure.
But kick down multiple notches.
Yeah.
But the game starts when you've beaten it
and that means you're familiar with all the mechanics.
You've seen all those absorbs
and now you can actually do the challenge.
If you was talking to somebody and they're like,
oh yeah, I beat DMC one.
And you're like, oh cool.
How'd you deal with Nightmare Beta?
And on Nightmare Beta three, it's like,
oh, I just hit him.
It's like, oh, you didn't beat it.
Right, right, right.
You beat DMC by getting hard or DMD.
Man, fuck Nightmare Beta.
Oh my God, that fucking third one
with the spinning bullshit.
I always really appreciate games
that have expanded new game plus modes
where it completely changes everything.
Oh, it's the best game.
Yeah.
I really enjoy Vagrant Story for that reason.
I didn't have Vagrant Story at all.
Oh shit, yeah.
It has an entire series of sub basements
where you just die down and just hell.
Fuck, I guess I-
Just because of Nightmare.
I guess I didn't beat Vagrant Story.
No.
Like just the fact that they brought
the zero two theme in on Smash Brothers
means they know.
They know.
Anyway.
Well, Sakurai would know better than anybody.
Anybody, yeah, yeah, hell fucking, absolutely man.
So yeah, I played that as well.
And of course this weekend was final round.
Final round, the big Atlanta fighting game tournament.
Huge top players from everything
and everywhere across the world.
And a big part of the hype for this was
as the first time all the Japanese Dragon Ball players
came to the States for a major.
And we got to have the Sonic Fox versus Goichi,
first to 10.
And that was something.
That was something.
I lost some money.
I lost some money on that.
Had I bet on that, I would also have lost it.
Yeah, yeah.
Because I did not think that that person could be free.
I did not think that was a possibility.
Well, it's not even that so much as it is.
Like the legacy of Goichi as a player is one that like
anyone who played anime or paid attention
to the Melty Blood community kind of knew already.
And like there's a post going around going,
by the way, a lot of people don't know
who this Go One guy is as like the commentators
would call them sometimes.
Or whatever.
I'm personally not familiar with Goichi.
And then you just see the list of accomplishments
and it's like, oh, he has dominated anime
in the background for the last 10 years.
I paid less attention.
The only reason I know about Sonic Fox
is because he got so fucking big in Netherrealm's shit.
Sure, sure.
And like people from the Melty community
are like coming out and posting like.
Oh, out of their holes.
They're coming out and they're basically going like,
yeah, it feels like there's absolutely nothing
you can do against him, right?
Now you know how we felt.
And you know, it's like this wall of skill.
I hate it when these fucking trash games
create these monsters.
But that's what they're made to do.
If you put the mechanics in there
and allow them to be abusable, then he will.
And also he'll do shit like just block.
And it'll be like, guess what?
You can't open me up because my reaction
is faster than anything you can do.
Spanning block?
What a monster.
Yeah, exactly.
How could he block even this?
What was insanely hyped though
was the actual tournament itself,
where of course, because like fate plays out
the way it does, they make it back to grand finals
to face each other for the rematch.
Oh, fantastic.
It's so fucking good when that happens.
Well, that's great, because then you just know
who's number one, who's number two for sure.
But what happens many times in fighting games,
there's actually a trend of people losing
the first to 10 exhibition and then going on
to win the tournament.
It happens so many times.
And here was a really, really fun set.
And there was some ridiculous moments that happened,
including one that I'm sure made front pages
like Attack on What, not everything.
But there is a straight up a moment where,
because Gohan is who, adult Gohan,
Grohan as we call him, is the problem.
He's currently looked at being looked at.
I saw you talking about him on Twitter.
He's currently being looked at
as possibly the best fucking character in the game.
Too much to deal with.
And the way Gohichi uses him is like he creates a wall
that you just can't fucking...
The infinite block star.
Oh my God.
And so there's a moment where you pretty much see
for that entire tournament actually,
everyone's weekends becomes about either picking Gohan
or killing Grohan.
That's all it is.
And you will spend all your mechanic,
all your meter, all your bar,
you'll pop sparking to kill him,
kill him, kill him, kill him.
All right, matches basically won now.
Right.
And so you'll get,
and so then you get like ridiculous things
where I'm like, no one even would call this moment.
But a combo happens to drop just in such a way
that with so very little life left,
Sonic Fox's 16 flips past Gohan's level three beam.
Right.
He lands behind him with a full life bar.
So what the fuck do you do at 16?
I know what exactly what you do at 16.
Sonic Fox has no other options.
And he gets the fucking kill on him, dude.
That's gorgeous.
And it was like eight,
it was the tournament perfect viable time
to do the actual suicide kill, you know?
It was like, it was like...
This situation.
Text book.
It does happen.
And in this situation, this is more than viable.
It's the best option.
It's the only way.
It's the only way, you know?
And like the fact that he reacted to that
and like saw it, called it out new,
is like, fuck, these guys are on another level.
Cause it's so easy to go like,
oh fuck, I have an opening
and just go into your bread and butter.
Yep.
You know?
It's so easy to just not recognize that moment
for what it is.
Or even if you have the time to get a little charge in,
which I don't know if you do, you know?
But like, god damn it, he pulled off the suicide bomb
in tournament, in fucking grand finals at that.
So if you want a good time, go check out Final Round.
Go check out some of the...
What's the name of that again?
That is, the tournament's called Final Round.
And I'm gonna pop a link to the highlights
in the chat, no, in the chat, in the podcast description.
I saw a clip got sent to me,
which is like, this is the state of DBZF.
And it was a cell mirror match.
Oh yeah.
And they like, round one, start and fuck.
Fucking, like they both do the rolling attack
and call the cheetah at the same time.
It's a fucking mess.
Class, class, class, class.
All right, so it's been determined
that this is the best opening for cell.
It's a good gambit.
It's a pretty good gambit, if not the perfect attack.
That's always really goofy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So that would be, you can, I mean,
honestly, if you head over to Event Hubs,
they've got the whole thing,
but it's basically the Dragon Ball Z,
Dragon Ball Fighters Final Round highlights.
Nackiel, this ridiculous awesome player doing some disc.
Causting cross-ups on people that I was like,
oh my God, your brain doesn't know.
I saw a clip today, I think, did Magma retweet it?
But it was like, behold the 2-H of a God.
And it's somebody lands behind Goku Black, clean.
Goku Black does 2-H and the guy teleports
in front of him on hit.
Yo, yo.
It's like, the fuck is that?
That's called privilege, son.
That's 2-H privilege.
What is, what is this crap?
Where you're crossing somebody up
when they're the one jumping in on you.
So that's, like there's some tech
for that type of situation, if you expect to vanish.
People vanish in front of 16 on his way up and get dunked.
It's ridiculous.
And one of the sickest things that Nackiel did was,
oh my God, I'm gonna try to describe this, right?
Because you know the mechanics.
So you know that when you're in sparking,
you can teleport without a kick?
You can do all sorts of stupid shit.
So what he does is, while the guy is on the ground
getting up from a hard knock down, right?
Like he does a jump over him and the moment he jumps,
like over the opponent's head,
he instantly does the sparking vanish
so that he teleports back to where he was, right?
Okay.
And then it's still before the,
it's still while the guy's getting up.
So as he appears back where he was,
he dashes past his body and kicks him from the other side.
Like, it's like.
That's three cross-ups in like, what, 100 milliseconds?
You can't read it.
You can't, it's unreadable.
You just have to pick a direction and hope and pray, right?
It's the uncross-up, cross-up, recross-up.
That's powerful.
And that's only working at that level
where like, if you don't know what the fuck you're doing
and you're just playing the game,
you're just gonna hold the back button.
I'm just gonna hold back.
And then like that'll, you hope that's right.
And then cross-ups work and then so people
start getting afraid of that.
And like someone who's like, I don't know what's going on
would successfully block that amazing setup.
But if you're good enough to react to what happens.
Cause what happens is, is you then you get blown out.
You read the first normal cross-up.
Yeah.
Then you just barely read the second one.
And go, oh!
And then you're not fast enough to read the third one
because each read take is a little bit behind.
And your brain has already picked the side, you know?
Oh my God, it's so good.
It's so good.
That's bananas, man.
So yeah, that was pretty much what I did.
And it was a good ass time.
I don't know about you, Plague.
It's good, it's good for me to go second
because not much happened to my week.
This is what to do.
Kept working on the animation.
I think I'm four scenes in now or five.
I can't remember exactly.
That's what I was working on before we got started.
I've been watching the NCAA tournament,
but you guys don't care about that.
I saw you talking about some kind of massive upset.
Yeah, for the first time this has ever happened in history,
a number one seed in the NCAA tournament,
actually in March Madness, lost to a 16 seed.
Virginia lost to UMBC, I think.
And they've already been knocked out.
This has already been passed that.
What if Wally beat Diego?
Okay.
Okay, no.
I don't think Wally's a 16.
That's more like, what if you beat Diego?
What if I beat Diego?
That's a fucking nice low key burn right there.
That's good, that's good.
Hold that.
I'm holding onto it.
This is, you know, right on your chest.
Okay.
I'm holding onto it for the last 10 minutes
of today's podcast.
But anyways, no one cares about that.
The tournament this year has been fucking weird
because a lot of teams beginning upset
and a lot of weird blowouts have been going on.
It's bizarre.
Are they on like new drugs or something?
Yes, the drugs are real.
All right, so anyways,
there's also a thing you've been doing
that no one cares about.
I played into the breach, of course.
Does the worst team get matched up
against the best team frequently?
The way that it works and it's changed over the next two.
Or is it a bracket where everybody has to face everybody?
The Virginia was the top slotted team this year.
Like they were number one,
they finished the regular season at number one.
And I'm not sure what rank UMBC actually was,
but I think the 16 teams now get in, I forget.
It's not like Swiss brackets or anything.
It's like you just, you go up and...
The way that it works is you can get into the tournament
either based on just seeding.
Like this team is obviously the best.
They're gonna get in no matter what.
And they're the ones that are the number one seeds,
like there's four different number one seeds, right?
For each section, because it's a tournament,
there's a, like a, it depends on,
there's no sense in explaining this.
But there's four different brackets,
each one of them has a one seed and a 16 seed.
And then they have like a two and a 15
that have to go against each other, right?
And so usually the final four,
and this almost never happens,
but in theory, you can have four number one seeds
in the final four, it's set up like that, in other words.
We don't lose this early.
Yeah, you can get into the tournament
either based on just being fucking good,
or you can get into the tournament based on,
we won our conference tournament.
So we have to get into the big fight.
So usually the...
And that's when the madness happens, right?
Yeah, and the 16 teams usually are just
the no-name conferences, or they used to be.
I think now the 16, I think now they make,
it's been a while since they've changed this,
and I haven't kept track of it,
but I think the 16 teams now have to be,
they have their own tournament that they have to go through,
where they actually have to fight another team
that's trying to get in,
but I can't remember the rules on it,
and no one really cares anyway, so it doesn't matter.
And the best player on the winning team gets a paycheck.
No. Yeah.
You're not allowed to make money.
On what planet would that happen?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that is not allowed.
That's the country we've been talking about for years.
These basketball players that play...
They're making tons of money for the university.
At a fucking national level,
and where the universities make ridiculous sneaker deals
and all kinds of crazy shit with them,
maybe one day these amazing talents will get paid
for the fucking work they do.
Yeah.
Maybe. But it's the coaches
that are the big stars. Listen, dude,
they're just doing it for the exposure.
Exposure bucks are real.
That is how, like Kentucky,
that's the big thing everyone follows here.
That's basically how he handles things, Kalapari,
is he will, the big criticism against him
is that he brings people in.
They're like big AAA, like high school stars,
like McDonald's All Americans,
and then he will rush them out the door
as fast as he possibly can.
And that's what's causing a lot of problems
because they don't have enough time
to be able to situate themselves and to gain experience
in order to have a better team to actually get to the finals.
So as a result, it is basically that.
You're recruiting people based on exposure bucks.
You're saying, come to our school, you will be seen.
You will be marketed as being the best.
Yesterday, I was looking at the four exposure Twitter account
and it's like, I'm not an artist, right?
But like the attitude, like I get upset,
like I get pissed off, right?
And I mentioned that to some friends of mine,
most of whom at the time,
I was talking to a desk or were artists
and a guy I work with sometimes on my stream just goes,
man, I follow that Twitter account and I don't know why.
Cause every time I look at it, it just, I get upset.
Well, it's hilarious because it's the most clean analog
I've ever seen for, hey babe, what's going on?
I want to come back to my place, get away from me.
Fuck you stupid slut.
I didn't watch you anyway, you fucking whore.
Dumb cunt bitch, asshole, you suck.
Get out of here.
It was the one, yes, it was the one.
It's the complete version of that one to one.
It was the one yesterday that was like,
hey, can you lower your price?
No.
Well, Sarah will do it for free.
Okay, but you hate Sarah.
It's like, oh yeah, her work is terrible,
but she'll do it for free.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then the end of the story is,
they ended up going with Sarah and complained about it
every day of the project.
It's crazy how that level of that mentality,
just one to one's over onto artists
where you just fucking go,
yeah, I didn't watch a stupid ugly art anyway,
it was fucking terrible.
There's a reason why things like unions exist
because if there is one person that will do it for free,
it ruins it for everyone.
And people like literally, like that thought process
is the exact same when you go into the business world
where people start working for companies
that never, ever, ever have to talk to anybody creative
and then they try to hire an artist
to do their graphic design or their branding
and they'll do the exact same stunt.
They'll pull the same shit,
not knowing that you're asking the person
to design an entire corporate branding thing
by just telling them, okay,
but go back and make another version of it.
I'm gonna keep this one though
and you don't have, I already paid you for that,
so don't worry about it,
but give us a couple of variations.
It's not that hard.
The one that got me that melds so much
with your analogy is a guy post a webcam
who's like, ha, ha, man, this is funny.
And a guy responds like, did you just take this?
And the response is, fuck, why would I pay this motherfucker
drawing shit that looks like crap?
And it's like...
From compliment to degradation in a span of...
Instant, instant.
It's like, oh, you're one of those children
who didn't know how to defend themselves
when they were wrong.
So they just get fucking pissed.
And they would just find anything else to blame
and or find something else that they were holding on to
to attack you with,
because you don't know how to go, yeah, my mistake.
You don't know how to admit it.
Hey, can you not leave your shoes in that spot?
It's where I put my shoes.
Fuck you, you're a bitch!
Like, are I okay?
It is very clear when just children
never learn that and become adults.
There's a bunch of children running around.
It's fucking grown huge children with gray hair.
Yeah, it's crazy.
There is nothing worse than someone
that is egotistical and prideful
and they just never grew out of it.
And that's just how they are.
Because they are the most toxic,
horrible human beings on the planet
that don't straight up are just like,
I'm gonna start killing people for fun.
I'm the best and only me matter.
I would almost appreciate,
I would rather know the dude that's like,
oh no, I'm totally gonna murder and eat you or whatever.
Cause like, well, I know what I'm getting from him.
Yeah, that's an honest desire.
But no, it's just something about like,
how do you not feel the,
like how does that gut reaction of rejection
to go into like, fuck you, I didn't want your thing anyway?
Like how do you not instantly see how stupid that looks?
Like how is there no,
like cause that's not even level two thought, right?
I think they do.
Like level one thought is,
you just asked for a thing that you want
and now you're saying you don't want it.
It's like, there's no depth that you have to uncover.
The hypocrisy is laid out.
How does that not stop you from doing that?
They think they're cranking it up so hard
that they're thinking, I guessing it's so over the top
that I'm protected from it either way.
Do you know, you want the ultimate,
there's an ultimate version and it's with products.
It's, I should get this for free because you're so,
okay, I'm gonna need to give some background.
In Quebec, a pricing laws,
I'm not sure if it's like this in other provinces
or in the States,
but in Quebec, the pricing laws are pretty simple.
Is it under $10?
Then if the price is wrong, it's free.
And I mean the listed actual price, right?
Not like you were looking at the wrong sign,
but like the, right?
So that you can't just jerk people around
by advertising false prices and they come in.
If it's over 10 bucks,
then it has to be set to the correct price
or the sale price, right?
Person comes in, although,
so step one, misreads a sign.
That's always, it's always the case.
It's like, there was no price listed,
therefore it's free,
or I moved this sign for these cokes over onto these sprites.
See, look, look, it's set.
It's like, well, you're right.
So it's like, say it's 20 bucks a coke.
And it's like, well, I should get that for free
because you guys screwed up.
And you go, no.
Of course not.
Because I'm a human.
This store is terrible.
I'm never gonna buy anything here again.
You're not buying anything here now.
Mm-hmm, yeah.
There's no threat here.
You don't come to this store.
But that's what customers say to get companies to worry,
that's the thought process.
I have to say this now.
It's step two of the argument.
So, threatening to never give you my business is where we go.
I will never in my life understand
that I'm gonna take my business elsewhere.
It's like, you're not taking your business here.
You're asking for it for free.
What fucking business am I afraid I'm gonna lose?
The one where I do it for you for free?
But that, to me, is not worse.
And here's the reason why.
It's because the act of switching it,
like, it conveys your intent from the get-go.
Well, almost, most.
Because it means that everything from that point on
is a hustle that you're running.
Most of the time they don't actually switch it.
They just say, it doesn't matter that I read the wrong thing.
Okay.
Which is way worse.
It doesn't matter that I'm wrong.
It kinda looks like I could be right and that's your fault.
It's like they think they're interacting with a machine.
Because they're inside of a store.
And they're thinking that they can treat it like that.
And it's like, there's the one that's the most baffling ever.
There's no price at all listed on the shelf.
There's nothing, right?
And on the floor, there's the tag.
And they go, well, there's no price.
That means it's free.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, right, right, right, right.
It's like, no, this just fell down here.
Let me fix that.
But the other thing is that the incentive
in that situation to like, again,
it's someone who probably would know better in that scenario,
but the incentive is I might get a free thing here.
All I have to do is just be annoying
until I get my free thing, right?
So like if the shame level doesn't overlap with the cutoff
point for getting free things,
then you can just keep going.
Here's the thing.
And you may choose to believe this or not
because this is a gut feeling of mine
after working for so long in retail.
That is a very reasonable point of view.
And there are definitely people
that come in and try and hustle, right?
But most often or more often than not,
it is actually not an intentional hustle.
It is a reaction to the feeling of getting ripped off
by nothing.
It is moral outrage that we tricked them
into thinking it was free or a different price,
but it's not.
You would have to be awfully stupid.
Yeah, I have to give that.
I'm gonna chop that up to like,
I'm gonna chop that up to like, I'm agreeing with you.
I'm gonna chop that up to like,
a percentage of those people.
That percentage is 60% or higher.
It is because the money stops mattering.
And that's when you know that it's not a hustle
because these are people in suits.
These are people who spend $400 of groceries a week.
The money doesn't matter.
They actually feel like their mistake
was engineered by you personally
and that by you failing to go along with their fantasy,
you are like wronging them.
Or worse yet, they've caught on after your explanation,
but they're too far in it to back down.
Yeah, too prideful.
That happens to people a lot
where you're halfway past the level of being reasonable
and now you just have to go the whole way.
You know, it's like there's an eastbound and down, right?
Like there's a fucking moment where he's like,
he's having a yelling match with these people and his family
and then eventually they explain the thing
that he's mad about is actually a thing
that he shouldn't be mad about,
but I'm already yelling so I can't stop now,
but I just want to say thank you.
I love you all very much.
Have a good day.
That is not nearly as common in retail.
That is much more common on the phone.
Yeah, okay.
On the phone, that happens a lot more
because of the lack of person.
But it's close to being anonymous.
In person, the barrier to getting that upset
of people around you is enough
that only the hustlers or the true believers
make it to that level.
That threshold.
And the true believers are way worse than the hustlers
because the hustlers, you kind of know,
you kind of know right away
when they use a certain kind of language
and they use a certain kind of,
they don't get mad, they get annoyed,
they get like, I can't believe it.
I gotta work, they start working it.
And that smugness, you can feel it and it's like,
okay, this is an adversarial competition.
Yeah, yeah.
That I have all the power and you have no power,
so this is a bad competition for you.
And it's a waste of my time, but fine.
But the true believers are the ones
that you don't know how high they're gonna escalate
because when my bank ripped me off,
I started to scream in that fucking thing
and they ripped me off.
They fucked me over, right?
But you don't know how much that person feels
you're ripping them off by not giving them
their 10 cans of Coke for $4.
That's up to their lives entirely
that you'll never have.
And it has nothing to do with the object
or the price.
You'll never know the variable.
It's the lack of respect.
And the grocery store that I worked
was underneath the lawyer's office.
Right.
Did that ever come into play?
Hell yeah, it does.
Wow, okay, okay.
I'm gonna put out a call to people
and it's gonna be very simple.
You ever work retail?
Guy comes in with a suit, guess what?
It's either gonna be great or the worst.
No one between you.
Just got a church or a huge asshole.
Yeah.
Because they're better than you, you know?
Sure. Because you just work
in a grocery store or a deli or a...
I mean, so many problems.
Huge pay price there, but yeah.
That are caused exclusively by personal insecurities.
That is like the foundation
for so many shitty human behaviors.
Of I'm going to, like those people really bother me
whenever they're the people that are used,
let their predators, they go into the store
and they're like, I'm gonna call us so much of a fuss.
I know I'm wrong and I know that everyone around me
knows that I'm wrong.
But I know that most people are just going to lay down
and say, okay, just fucking have it.
Because people are non-confrontational.
They are preying on them doing that.
Well, you need to narrow it down a little bit though, Eli,
because the like...
There's a lot of variations.
A lot of people have personal insecurities,
but this isn't in particular the type of person
that has those is faced with them
and reacts to being faced with them violently
and thrashes and or like, you know,
squirms out of a situation where the only thing
to say face here would be to blow it all up
instead of admitting being wrong, right?
And that's actually like, I think part of that
gets into like a larger social issue
where I just feel that like, in general,
our culture has a really weird thing
with admitting being wrong.
I don't know where it came from, I can't trace it back,
but it's always been something that I've felt growing up
and I feel that, especially with people from the islands,
people from the islands, it's fucking crazy
how much you can't acknowledge being wrong.
I think it's Western competition.
You'll go out of your way to, you know what I mean?
Go out of your way to, and then the most ridiculous,
you'll burn every bridge, you'll nuke the whole thing down
to avoid being looking like you're wrong.
Well, if you're wrong, you're weak, man.
But I never like, as someone who's fucking wrong
about a ton of shit and has been in my all throughout my life,
it's never been like a big deal.
Listen, you're sitting here talking
to the fucking guru of being wrong.
So I don't understand why, where it comes from,
because at the end of the day, you're like,
oh, okay, yeah, my bad, you know?
And to the point where now when I,
especially in like retail situations, or situations-
It's like Metal Fury 3 did, in fact, come out later.
Situations where, sure.
Yeah, there's situations where, on the same year.
Because for a lot of people, it's-
Come on, man!
Situations where you're dealing with an artist
who you want something from, or anything like that.
I'm so over the top trying to not be annoying,
or you know what I mean?
How do I put this?
So sure of myself, in these situations,
that the lack of awareness that people who'd yell
at the person who they were just trying
to get something from,
is out of my comprehension.
Anyway.
It's like, why won't you do it for free?
Because I need to eat.
Yeah, I don't care.
But I want it, and it's not hard for you, it's easy.
You're just a person, you're not a person.
You're just a manufacturing robot that makes art.
Yeah.
Some people just never go out of it.
The fact that you can create a Twitter for that
is amazing.
Dude, like it happens for everything.
It happens for everything.
Hey, you want to promote our game?
Cool, I guess.
Nothing, okay.
Sure.
Like.
Sure, sure.
What, just you buy the game and promote it,
and will you give us any, no.
Whatever.
What is the deal that's happening?
I hate the lack of empathy.
I hated your LPs anyway, you dumb skank.
You stupid LP channel.
What is, what is the-
Your videos are terrible.
Nobody fucking watches them.
Fucking sleight.
What?
What's with those skanks and sluts?
Where's that coming from?
It's just so like, it's because it's so direct.
It's like, I love it.
It makes me laugh and like inside, it makes me warm
because it's like, my penis wants you.
You don't want me?
I hate you.
It's the most, you know what I mean?
It's the most.
And I don't feel like version of bad exchange ever.
I hate you to measure it with how hard my dick is right now.
It's so fucking real.
Oh man.
All right.
How was your week?
All right, hold on, hold on.
Point being with all that,
college basketball is kind of shitty.
Tony Bennett will never unlink his name from that loss.
And as far as that goes.
The other component of my week is I briefly played
Attack on Titan, didn't play it.
I looked at the character creator
because it's all in Japanese right now
on the 20th of the English patch world.
That's the weirdest way to release a game I have ever seen.
Tom made a breakdown of that on Twitter too.
Isn't that wild?
Are you familiar with the way
the Steam release has come out?
Of?
Attack on Titan?
No, what are they doing?
It released in the Japanese version.
And it has Asian language support as well.
On the 17th, the game came out in Japanese.
And on the 20th, the patch to localize it will come out.
Oh wow.
Not even how good.
Wow, wow.
Okay, you know what?
What is that?
What the fuck is that?
That is, we don't have the full budget
for a second version of the game.
The funny thing is, there are people
that are playing it right now with the English patch,
like previewers, so it's already there.
That is low budget, we don't have the budget to,
or we don't want to go through the effort
for that matter of making a second skew.
It's wild.
It's fucking wild.
So we just want to have one skew
and then just put the language patch on.
Yeah, it's money.
It's the weirdest thing.
It's money.
Because they didn't delay the game
in the English storefront.
It released on the Japanese release date.
That's crazy.
In the English storefront.
I don't know whether I appreciate that
or would want to condemn it,
because on one hand, hey, I get this shit early.
I don't have to wait for the 20th.
It's already there.
I already managed to go into the character crater
and I fidgeted around and I can see what it's going to be,
but I can't play it.
Yeah, and the problem is for anyone
who's not like us that knows how to go do that,
to go find a Japanese game on a Japanese storefront
and get it on their system.
It's the same dude, it's the same dude
because you have something on mod
and the fucking slip fell out of the goddamn thing.
So now it's free.
It's that sort of attitude of outrage over nothing.
Super weird.
Like just have a modicum of empathy and realize,
oh, they're just doing this.
I'll just wait.
You know, I mean, in an ideal world, if like,
yeah, I mean, at some point
we had like region locking and all that shit,
but like in an ideal world, you boot a game up
and you select a flag
and then everything else is fucking gravy, you know?
But a lot of the time too, there's,
I mean, back in the day,
you knew you wanted to go way, way back.
It wasn't enough to just replace like,
like tech strings couldn't just be replaced.
There's too much involved with like displaying Kanji
and things like that,
that you actually had to have like a different
like programmer handle the different localized version
of the game, but nowadays.
That's long gone.
Nowadays, that's a fucking weird one.
But anyway, cool.
So how was that?
The point being about the character creator,
the way you already know all this,
but I'll say it for the podcast is the way that works
is that it's basically just taking all the details
from everyone that's in the entire cast,
like background characters, whatever,
and you can use any of them that you want to.
So you can actually recreate entire characters
and even make like male or female versions of them.
That's what the wrestling games do.
The wrestling games have you scrolling through every wrestler's
face and eyes features in addition to like a handful
of customs, but yeah.
More importantly, there is a thickness slider
for women's legs, which I was very pleased with.
So I'll be doing things with that later, maybe.
Other than that, yeah, that's pretty much all I'd say about it.
It has a nice character creator.
It's not as astonishing as I may have hoped
in my wildest fantasies,
but it was more than I thought that it was going to be.
Can you get the legs into,
or are there, can you get the boots into absolute?
You can make a mighty fine big woman.
Okay, can you get it into absolute territory
with the little cutoffs?
Honestly, the uniform kind of has built-in,
not but kind of absolute territory.
Oh yeah, it's a high boot.
It's a high boot.
It's a high boot.
With a certain color.
You can take off the jacket and just have the sweater
and that's it.
You can color it whatever you want.
It really brings out all the details.
Cool.
And you can get the thigh highs, I believe, yeah.
So I might be enjoying that for other reasons.
I don't know.
Yeah, we'll find out later.
Potatoes.
All right, so that's my week.
All right.
Yeah, potato is cool.
Pat, reduce this podcast into a rubble
of talk about Warframe, please.
So...
I like Hangar.
Then play, everybody does.
This is always the shit.
Yeah.
C'est yandere, but nice.
Yeah.
Potatoes, come back, see to that.
No.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
No.
Mm-hmm.
No.
Annie's.
Oh, I'll strike ball.
Yeah.
Well, you just threw a fucking wrench
in the works there.
Yeah, that's fine.
No one cares about that.
That's a count.
That's unfair.
Yeah, I am a garbage titan.
She's like, unstoppably badass.
That's not even fair, you know?
But, yeah.
Armin, though.
Well, now you're talking my language.
Yeah.
Armin's hair looks kind of,
I know it's kind of interesting on a female model.
Blow out those candles, except for one.
Fucking Armin and Krista.
Which one is which?
Which one do I shoot?
I don't care.
Stand back to back, we might get lucky.
Like, can we get a fucking,
can we have a storyline where you mirror?
It's like, I got you, Krista.
And Armin's like, ha, bitch.
No, Armin sold me.
He's too smart.
He fucking, annoying characters like that,
when you prove yourself as like,
smarter than every genius on the cast,
you get whatever you want.
No, man.
I fucking bow down.
Armin's the shit.
Your analytical abilities.
Armin's the shit for one reason and one reason only.
What's your name, Buttercup?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Oh man, oh man, I can't.
All right, so, I dunked my toes into Warframe's Warframe.
And then apparently Warframe dunked its toes into you.
A little bit.
I ended up talking to one of their community managers,
nice lady named Megan,
and I gave some codes away for platinum.
Megan and Rebecca.
What are the odds?
What are the odds?
Of that timing, when you were apparently streaming it,
and then Framefighter decided to drop.
Oh, well, the Framefighter dropped like,
wait, what do you mean drop?
Oh, rather than the stream.
That stream was a few days prior.
Did we talk about this last week?
No.
Okay, good.
We talked about it off the pocket stirrer,
like right before we required a code card.
Yes, yes, we did.
I feel like had Plague not even mentioned it,
that the universe is really trying
to make us play Warframe.
Feels like it.
Because Framefighter thing happened.
Now, the funny thing about Framefighter,
as I try to briefly explain.
Is that it's your fault?
No, not at all.
Not at all.
And I mean.
I think they came from a,
kept sure a joke that one of the developers did.
Well, I don't want to get it wrong.
So, but the guy who came up with it
is lococrazy underscore on Twitter.
And he sent me a message like way back,
like back in January, basically going like,
hey, I've been working on a fighting game UI for Warframe.
It's a fun random project,
but I'm just, he's trying to do it
to learn more about the program and stuff.
And was just like, hey, what do you think?
You got any tips on like what fight?
Cause he's like, he's not, he's like, we,
he's someone that got into fighting games from us.
And so he was like, yeah, I kind of, you know,
want some tips on how to fillet things out and whatnot.
And so I was like, yeah, do totally.
And so we went over it and pointed out a couple of things
that, you know, how it would look like and whatnot.
And it was like, I'm like, oh, that's a fun,
like Photoshop project.
And he had that initial screenshot of the characters laid out
with like the stun meter on the side and all that stuff.
And then, but, and he also just added the,
the, you know, DE and Warframe in that.
And then without telling him behind the scenes,
they just took it and just built it and made it real.
And then went, hey, we're live streaming the thing
we just made.
And he's like, wait, what?
You know?
And like when I like got attacked, I'm like, hey,
dude, hey, look at the thing.
And he's like, ah, he's like panicking and freaking out.
But like straight up,
they just made a really cool feature out of that.
You know?
So not only did that happen, right?
And like weird fighting game comes out of thing
that's not a fighting game always makes us look at it.
But today, Danny Hood's wire over at No Clip
started part one of a documentary on Warframe,
which is really, really good.
Finished the thought.
And I watched that on the way over here.
And I watched the No Clip shit cause it's amazing.
So had I not, had I not known about Warframe
or its history,
I would now today know.
And there are things in that No Clip documentary
that never connected in my brain,
which is digital extremes made Unreal Tournament.
Well, they didn't make it.
Well, they made it with Epic.
So that, and like, oh, that's why Warframe feels
like Unreal Championship.
Cause they did make that game.
So that No Clip documentary in weird ways
and I don't know why every,
you wanna talk about the universe looping.
What you just mentioned,
that is being made by my friend Esteban,
who does fighting game documentaries,
who I met at multiple tournaments ago at Canada Cup.
And like, he recently, he joined the No Clip team
and basically just tweeted to me about that going on.
Completely independently of anything,
my friend is making these No Clip digital extremes
documentary things.
And it was like, hey, here's a new project we got going on.
But it's like,
And it was just unrelated to everything else going on.
And then this fight and frame fighter thing
is unrelated to everything else going on.
Yeah, and it's like,
It's crazy.
You watch the documentary and they,
they're talking to the studio founder.
He's like, yeah.
That's the best of all on Twitter.
He's like, oh yeah, I made the flat cannon
in Unreal Tournament.
Sure.
Oh, okay.
And it's like, okay, they made Dark Sector,
which is Warframe 1.0, I guess.
And they helped with the darkness too.
And they did all this shit
that I never really picked up on the studio
because they were working for hire
and they were just a little all over the place.
And they didn't have their hands in a lot of things.
Yeah, for quite some time.
And it's like,
Oh, that's why Warframe is the way it is.
That's why it feels like this.
That's why it,
because it's the people who are responsible
for this, this, this, this, this, and this.
Them having their hands deep
in the Star Trek motion picture game is the one that,
it was like, what?
So you know what created Warframe?
Do you know what the final punch to the spine
that created Warframe was?
First thing, was it not just that early ass project
that like,
I'm gonna break it down.
So 2005, there was the E3 trailer for Dark Sector, right?
And that was the concept for Warframe.
And then they shipped that around
and they couldn't get it made
unless they changed a bunch of shit,
which became Dark Sector.
But they still wanted to make that original version,
but they can't call it Dark Sector now because it's, right.
And then they, they work, work, work.
And then, and here's, here's where,
here's where Matt and I might have created Warframe.
Okay, well, the fucking,
fucking use, choose your words here, buddy.
The fact that the Star Trek video game
that was made by Digital Extremes was a massive bomb
was the final impetus to push forward
with their pet project, Warframe.
Okay.
They were doing work for hire
and the last game they put out
was the Star Trek, the motion picture video game,
the one with the giant fucking Spock head.
And that video.
And that bombing caused Warframe to happen.
And in our small part, Matt and I helped that game bomb.
Contribute to how bad that was.
They're very smart at video.
I created Warframes.
It's airtight.
Just like you introduced controller support into the game.
I did, I did introduce controller support,
which unfortunately right now
is kind of fucked up and broke legit.
So Woolly, you and I have basically been responsible
for all of Warframe.
One to one.
It's right there.
Built it.
You're welcome, internet.
Yeah, I hope you like the Warframe that I made.
Digital Extremes made this, I made this.
I made this.
But no, they were running into the same problem,
let's say Obsidian ran into when their project fell through
and they went to Kickstarter.
And this one is they were like,
okay, you have nine months to make something
that makes money.
And that was the original beta for Warframe,
the alpha back in 2013.
Originally known as the Lotus Project, I think.
They stepped the fuck up.
So I played about 25 hours of Warframe
over the past week.
I'm sorry, hold on, I can't believe
that awful Star Trek game was the same people.
Well, that's what happens
when you don't give people time to make a movie game.
Right? This is true.
Like we knew this.
You know this more than almost anybody I know.
We know this, we know this.
Time equals quality, period.
So I've been playing a lot of Warframe.
Plague has been helping out.
He helped me figure out mods yesterday,
which is very complicated.
And everyone shit their ass when I hit the auto install.
Oh, is that like hitting auto install in Kotor?
Oh, don't do that, right?
You don't lose anything, but it's not optimal.
He installed like a rank two vitality in enemy sense.
And everyone is just like, oh good, enemy sense.
Pat.
It's not optimal.
It's not, so I changed it to be optimal.
It's not even not optimal.
It actually kills him.
It's not as hard as it looks.
It looks really intimidating,
but then you're like, oh no, put damage mods on.
Just put shit on that makes your damage go.
Cause it sounds like you might end up having less fun.
I was.
Yeah.
And then I made it more.
Yeah, no, exactly.
There's a lot of mods in the game
that are actually super interesting
that would do a lot of interesting things
that improve like handling
or they might do something like strip armor
based on impact damage or whatever it happens to be.
But the mod system is kind of broken.
So the only thing that you really want
are the mandatory quote unquote mods
that just like increased damage,
increased damage, increased damage.
Plague was showing me, okay, there's eight mod slots.
Seven of these are mandatory
because they increase your damage.
Like, oh, the mod system just got a lot less complicated
now that I know that there's good mods and everything else.
So there was a point last week
in where we sat down and we were just like,
I think you and I had maybe four total hours
of conversation about min-maxing.
Yeah, everything to do with it.
But like one of those things was just like,
at some point we were like, hey, so like,
all right, now I'm hearing all these things
and now Warframe is in the air.
It's in the air.
Thank you.
Yeah, you know what I mean?
It's in the, I was gonna say like.
The skunk stink is on the tires.
It's in the cortex, you know,
it's in the front of the brain right now and we're all.
And I'm like, okay, so it's,
if I were, if we were to take a look at this game
and usually you do and you started up
and you do the tutorial thing we know
and you start with your sword
or your fucking sticker or whatever
because that's what everyone's gotta have.
Yeah.
What if I wanted to punch things?
What then?
How would, what would you recommend?
I have heard about this conversation.
So yeah.
Twitter was like, let us help.
So yeah, we were.
Boy.
We were about to start recording Kotor.
Oh my God.
And I'm like, will you just put out a tweet and ask people
cause I don't know what to tell you.
I don't know, right?
And we finished recording Kotor
and then we looked at it and I'm like,
will you, I think this is the most responded
to tweet you've ever made.
I like, and it just like,
just not even in terms of like likes or retweets
just people having things to say.
And it's of note that when I looked at that
I didn't understand a single response.
There's one thing that I did understand.
It was the chorus of a thousand going
Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, Atlas, Atlas.
Atlas is a big boy.
He has Lord Punch Man.
Yes, Atlas, big punch go down.
So I watched a few videos and then I watched the Atlas.
What was it?
Re, what?
The Atlas?
Rework.
Okay.
Rework.
He used to be pretty shit.
No, I'm not familiar with the rework.
No, no, no, no, no, no, with what a rework is.
They changed the kit.
They changed the kit.
Like a Mercy's rework.
Got it, sure.
That's it.
Okay.
They do this quite a lot actually.
This character worked like this before
or was like this now?
I saw him punch.
I saw him do big punch.
He punched around.
He punched people with a stone,
and then he punched them, and they explode.
Woolly.
Rock friends, that's unexpected.
I should mention something about Warframe.
Turn you into rock, also unexpected.
Unless you want to spend moneys.
Rock walls.
And there's a significant amount of moneys
to just money it fast.
So speak.
I only have a second frame because somebody gifted
one to me on stream, which I then turned off gifts
because that's like, that's too fast.
That progression is too fast.
Yeah, Warframe is, it's unlocking.
If you, someone just gifted you the whole thing,
you had nothing to do.
You don't get to appreciate it.
Well, no, there's no game.
Okay.
You're right, okay.
Like it is.
Warframe is about increasing your arsenal.
That is what the game is about.
Even the story is about that.
Getting the item is the game.
So once you have the item, the only thing left to do
is to use that item to get the other item.
Against the PVEs.
Yes.
And what they do is they add a new weapon every two weeks
and they add a new frame every two months.
But what boxes fights, levels and challenges.
There's everything, everything.
But like, you could think of ever, isn't that game?
But I'm saying like, do those keep rolling out
alongside new frames?
Yes.
Okay.
The planes of Ida Lawn thing.
Okay, so there's always stages.
That wild open world shit that we saw a while ago,
that was the content update.
Okay, because what I was like curious about,
I'm like, do you get that thing that you have
but you're in a world that you've already done
back to front a million times?
There is a lot of world.
Okay.
There's a lot.
So like I was saying, right?
The only reason I have a second frame
is because as somebody gifted, right?
My second frame that I've been working on is Rhino.
And I've been working on Rhino since I started.
I'm really excited at the idea
that I might be able to get Rhino as early as Friday.
And you might have a new skit.
You do have a new skit waiting for you.
I do have a new skit for him
because I had, I grinded out Rhino's blueprints
to the recipe to build him.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Let's just get the resources found on the frame.
So those are drops.
And the drop rates on them are crazy high.
They're 30% ish off a boss.
And the boss takes five minutes.
So I blew that out in a half hour, right?
Then it's like, okay, the resources to build Rhino
for my current place in the world
are relatively difficult to acquire, right?
So grind, grind, grind, grind, grind.
That took a couple hours.
Okay, I got the resources for the head and the chest.
Great.
It's head, chest and electronics essentially.
Okay, start building those.
Those take 24 hours to build.
I don't have the resources for the systems.
Okay, I bet by tonight,
I will have the ability to acquire the resources
for the systems.
And by tomorrow, I will have acquired the final piece
for this real journey to build the things like that.
Okay, so that's the blueprints for the parts, right?
Oh God, please never get bobbin.
For the frame, right?
And the blueprint for the frame is really simple.
It's the head, the chest, the systems,
and one rare item, pretty rare item, right?
Well, if I'm gonna have all three parts
and that third item, that last item,
I'll be able to get that probably Tuesday, right?
Then I'm gonna go to bed and I'm gonna hit build Rhino.
And then if that's Tuesday, it'll be done Friday night.
And I will be fucking stoked to play my Rhino.
What you have most of the Star Map Unlocked,
you'll get to a point where you're building
so many things that you're like,
oh, this thing I apparently built a few days ago is done.
So that is...
It's like getting a present.
So that is actually the thing.
Every single day that I have played
in the time period that I'm playing that day,
a weapon finished.
The process of cooking, the process of cooking shit
and having a timer appear on something is like...
It's normally incredibly frustrating.
You can't be committed to it.
Well, I was unfamiliar with that until
let it die.
And then so that's why I have a question.
That was the first time you encountered it?
Like that system?
Like the timers on a thing?
Yeah, no game I've played had that.
You didn't play Brotherhood?
I did play Brotherhood.
What had a timer on it?
The fucking assassination missions.
You'd send them out and they would take like 20 minutes
to an hour to finish them.
Oh yeah, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I guess I was thinking of like equipment
that I'm about to put on my character having that though.
Cause like missions, yeah, sure.
And I'm doing it with the Palico,
like fucking Tail Raiders and shit.
But no, no, I mean like an item that you put on your guy
is like, okay, it'll be ready in 12 hours.
Not today.
And I'm like, real time?
What?
Yeah, yeah.
If you set a personal goal for yourself of I want this weapon,
then it becomes a nightmare.
Yeah.
But eventually in Warframe you get to the point
where you don't really care about setting like all those
goals because there's so much in the game to do
that there's just tons of things that you can go do.
There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of weapons
and there are 40 ish frames and they all have their primes.
So once you're deep, like I am already at the point
where every day that I log in, I'm like, ooh, cool.
I'm currently growing a dog.
The dog will be-
From an egg.
From an egg.
I'm cooking my dog.
Okay.
This is, I said that and no one corrected me.
So I'm going to assume it's called cooking your dog.
My dog will be done tomorrow.
I'm excited.
You'll get a puppy.
Then you'll have to wait a little bit more for it
to grow into a giant beastly creature.
Although I think that maybe they removed that.
Maybe an incubator or something.
Also like let it die in terms of inventory.
I am not familiar with let it die.
Is, okay.
So-
With warframe, you need to have slots.
There are, so there are, there are like-
You have a limited amount.
literal slots on a like a conveyor belt
on, and then your character drops down
and you go into the shared inventory
and equip that character with everything
you've gotten in the game.
Your frame is-
It's not a safe file.
Your frame is an armor piece.
Like it is your class, but it's like you,
everyone has, everything can be mixed and matched
with everything.
Both characters are in the same world.
Both characters?
Like, like, like both frames.
Oh dude, the frame minus, the frames are like,
yeah, the frames are like, they're in a closet.
Okay, but your progress in this is the same.
Yeah, you have, you have your account associated
with your email.
That is you, that's you.
Okay.
And it's not like a frame is a slave, a save slot.
No, no, a frame is just another piece of equipment.
Cool, good.
It's just like owning a gun or something.
Yeah, that's, that's, that's, that's better.
That's good.
And normally this system would be infuriating,
but for some reason it's not.
And the reason it's not is that the goals take time,
but the goals aren't difficult.
So getting the things that I needed to make Rhino,
they're not tough.
They're not even weird.
I just have to do them.
It's just the weight.
And doing them is fun because the game has this crazy
fuck movement system and just plays really well.
Some people throw out the words vanquished too.
It dude, when you hold that, when you, yes.
When you hold down crouch,
you fucking knee slide along the floor.
I've seen it.
I've seen the video.
Then you jump and that jump launches you into space
in whatever direction you want it.
And then you do another one.
Yeah.
And then you flip and you do it again.
It isn't even seeing a character like Zephyr yet
where you just like planes of eyeliner
on how you can fly around a character like that.
Just use your one and you just go.
You fly out into space.
Are there any enemies you fight that can keep up with that?
Cause it feels like the videos I all saw
were like combo video domination.
And I'm wondering if you are quite generally a god
compared to most animals.
You are a god like.
Is there a bogey?
Yeah.
There is a character.
I probably shouldn't say too much about it though.
Okay.
But there are assassins that might come for you
in special circumstances.
Don't talk about whatever.
And never talk about things.
I haven't personally encountered it,
but at some point I got a mysterious email in my inbox
that essentially said stop.
And I was like, what is that?
And then.
Oh, you got him.
And then the person who the friend of mine
I was playing with on Discord is like,
Oh, you got that.
Like just like Plague just did right now.
Right now.
Yeah.
You're going to get it.
Like everybody's doing right now a little bit actually.
Yes.
And it's.
Yeah.
So there's something.
You get dark virtual.
Whatever that is.
I don't know what the fuck it is, but it's bad.
Sure.
But the game is about making you feel like a fucking
god amongst ants.
Okay.
And you sure feel like it.
And the number of, you're a knife through butter,
but there's a lot of butter.
It's almost Dynasty Warriors.
Dynasty Warriors.
Yeah, there's actually been,
there was a devastating discussion about that
in the hell the game has evolved over time.
Eventually, like a,
they described their melee system is they originally
had the idea that it's combo system was going to be
like devil may cry,
but over time they realized it can't be focused
on one enemy over time.
The game has turned into something more like Dynasty Warriors.
So in the future,
we're going to change our entire melee system
to try to make it more organic to that style of play.
Well, yeah.
So your big combos are only going to be useful
on high health targets.
Problem is, is that once you're powerful enough,
there is very little that is actually
a real high health target to you.
No, but also devil may cry,
combos continue from enemy to enemy.
It's based on how you're performing in the verse, right?
Like,
well they can,
in devil may cry,
they continue from this enemy to this enemy to this enemy.
Yeah.
On a timer.
The fucking scale of death you're throwing down,
that,
no.
Like one swing is pop.
Pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
Yeah.
Okay, okay.
For the most part.
And then there are some tougher enemy types
that come in that are like 100 times more health
than everything around them.
I mean,
Pat Snow were near getting like 43 enemies
or something like that,
where you're encountering level 100 enemies
that have massive armor stacks
that you have to get rid of and stuff like that.
But like,
a lot of the game is
just impressive on its own.
And I don't mean for a free to play game.
I mean,
it's genuinely impressive,
particularly after coming from playing a lot of Destiny 2,
which is by far the closest analog
in terms of structure, I guess.
It makes Destiny 2 like a polished ship.
Looks like it.
From the outside.
So remember when,
you might not be aware,
but Destiny 2 came out and it had four planets
and people were like,
seriously you didn't have the old,
you didn't,
we didn't keep the fucking old plans from Destiny 1.
Are you serious?
Warframe has never removed anything.
Every fucking planet and tile set.
Plants are essentially just tile sets.
There's like fucking 22 or some shit.
There's a ton.
Have you mapped an attack to a wheel yet?
No, I have not.
I primarily actually play with a controller,
which the controller support is actually very good.
I'm surprised at how good the controller is
because the game is so fast.
It works flawlessly, doesn't it, Pat?
Cool.
The controller support right now is a little broken.
The last hotfix broke a couple buttons.
It could be slightly better.
And everyone's saying
you can't do the cool slidey stuff as well.
You can, you absolutely can.
That's fucking horseshit.
I played my stream yesterday,
half mouse and keyboard and half controller.
And I was doing all the slidey bullshit
that I was doing with both.
I was a little less accurate with the mouse.
I was watching you do things like try the aim at enemies
and you fire at walls
because you're trying to walk the,
like the sensitivity into the target
and you'll fire at a wall for half your clip
before you actually get to the dude.
And even then you're not aiming at his head
because you can't really do that.
I think you really need to work on your sensitivity settings
for your sticks or something.
Yeah, I think I need to turn them down.
Have you considered half and half?
No, thank you.
Fuck you.
Yeah, the innate sensitivity warframe settings
really do need to go down.
I think I have mine at like three or something.
What was I gonna say?
But like, you know, you get your little spaceship.
Day one, modify every color.
In that spaceship.
Make it look how you want.
The inside, the outside, every color of your frame,
every tint, accents.
That's why I put up my fucking,
I put up screenshots.
Well, I saw those screenshots and I was like,
if Pat can do that,
there is probably no way to make an ugly frame.
Oh, no.
Yeah, Pat's just hitting,
oh, you definitely can make some,
you can make your creatures.
No, no.
Oh, yeah.
It's more like if Pat can do that,
then there must be the ability to make the ugliest shit
that's ever been seen by a human.
Well, I don't know how big the freedom is.
I assumed seeing what you had,
that there was not that much of it.
There are five different- Warframe's color palettes
have some problems with over-saturations sometimes.
Can you change a color per limb?
No, but you change, there are five slots- Sort of.
Your primary, tertiary, sorry,
your primary, secondary, tertiary,
your accents, which are usually the metallic bits.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And power. And energy.
Because for example, if I look at a Tron character,
I see there's black, and then there's the Tron highlight,
and then there's like, I don't know, maybe their hair.
It depends on what the zone is like.
Like each texture has different zones.
So in some cases, yes, you can change the limb
because that limb, its texture just looks like that.
Yeah, it's got a favorite limb or something.
So you might pick a, in some cases,
like a frost skin, one of the Warframes,
he has a problem with most of his color palette
is controlled by one color.
So you end up with something that's bright white
or bright red or whatever.
And then there's other characters
where it's very evenly spread out,
which I think looks a lot better.
So it kind of just depends on
what exactly you're trying to color.
Cause I'm looking at, I looked at, for example, Atlas,
after everyone, you know, was like, yo, Atlas.
And I'm like, there's a few details on him
I'd want different.
I like what his basic body structure is like,
but there's a few things I'd want to change on him.
Yeah, you can do that by having alternate helmets
and alternate skins.
Oh, he has no neck.
You've got no fucking neck.
I think so.
My hair does not look like the standard one.
There is a skin, which is the full body transform.
There's the helmet, which is independent of the skin.
There is.
Oh, you can transmog.
There is.
Yeah.
Sindanas or whatever.
Fashion has no bearing on how.
Sindan.
Okay.
There is something called a sidenna,
which is a fancy way of saying cape.
And those range everywhere from a single long tail
to a big flowing cape to a energy cape.
And you could just take the look
and keep the properties.
And then there are shoulder items, chest item,
batch item, leg item, attachments.
Okay, no, full freedom.
Full freedom.
Now granted, all that shit costs flat.
And you got to get both.
Yeah, I get that.
And so the colors, colors cost flat, but if you go,
I have the look in my mind.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Just do it.
There are, I'm going to discord for Warframe now
for the clan that I'm in.
And there's the fashion channel.
And there are people remaking Monster Hunter sets.
Oh, no.
Fun, fun, fun.
Yeah, cause I could see a way to make like,
I'm sure you could make like a skullomania.
I'm sure you could make like a, you know, like.
My character looks like skullomania right now.
Yeah, yeah, I'm like the way the game looks.
There's all types of like Sentai suit, sort of like,
you know, designs.
I asked for advice on how to make a good color.
And they said, look at fighting games and Sentai characters.
Right.
In terms of primary color, secondary color.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure.
Absolutely.
That's really, really, really good that you do that.
I like that a lot.
The thing that kind of concerns me.
Solves all problems.
If you guys do a one-off where you kind of just look
at some stuff, there is so much that is time gated.
Like if you want to see Atlas,
you pets know we're near Atlas.
Yeah.
You certainly would be know we're near Atlas.
Everyone made that clear, is that that's very foreign
and that you wouldn't get that out of a community.
Here's Atlas.
Oh, that's a very different looking Atlas.
That's a good, yeah, good, fixed, good.
My main actually is Atlas.
This one I usually use for most things.
But you can get something that looks nothing like that
and just do that.
Oh, totally, cool.
Although, although like there was definitely,
like some of the suggestions came in for like someone
that had like claws and stuff or something.
I love some cool claw stuff.
Yeah, he's talking about here.
Yeah, exactly, exactly.
And I was like, that's nice, but claws are not punches.
Yes, you know.
There are weapons that are specifically fist-based weapons.
Like I have a Kagaki Primes that I like to use sometimes
where it's just a fist.
And of course you can change the stances on that weapon
to change what your animations are.
And depending on what your timing and everything is like
whenever you're doing attacks,
you do different versions of attacks
and so forth and so on.
Like you can use those weapons to knock a dude on the ground
and then just get up on him and just like punch
over and over again as a finisher.
That sort of thing.
Is there a thigh slider?
No.
The model is the model.
There's another shitty Atlas.
That's a bad one.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can also make really hideous ones, yeah.
I'm trying to find one where a guy in my clan made Sonic,
the Hedgehog.
Oh boy.
It's a nightmare.
That sounds like it.
It's bad.
There's lots of Rhino-Ninja Turtle ones.
There's no texture freedom though, right?
I'm sure people are modding, but oh.
Sort of.
That's bad, huh?
That's really interesting.
Because you can make doggly as shit ever.
There are some alternate skins that are just retextors
so they don't change the models.
So there is that.
Oh boy.
I've seen people with Jehuti and Anubis and just,
and it's like, it's shocking what you can do
with a free color wheel and the ability to mod
a couple armor points on something that's already a robot.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
And there's a lot of different ones like helmets
and skins and so forth that were designed by fans
that they just put in the game.
What is it?
And I think most of those are steam exclusive.
They are, yeah.
It's like one of those things where it's like,
why are wrestling games the only ones
really going out there trying, you know?
Why are they the only ones like with these like,
I mean, obviously like going as far as textures
is a really extreme thing,
but and it makes more sense in the context of, you know,
like wrestling game where you wanna have certain t-shirts,
but it feels like a lot of character creators
are just not putting the effort in on that level.
So like, there's Sam.
Who knows, that is, that's a Sam.
Yep, there he is.
That's Jetstream.
That's pretty rad.
There's a lot of freedom to like,
well you have an art background.
You could make some really nice shit with basic material.
Yeah, pets just hitting random
and then changing like one after the other.
So that's the way people make their characters.
I don't know if you know that.
They hit random, which goes through the whole palette
and then you get to something like, I like that.
I, yeah, I can work with that.
I can start there.
I'm just gonna change the yellow to blue.
Yes, yes, totally.
I do, I love that.
I love doing that.
I love doing that.
That's fun too.
I'm way more involved.
I do a little, like I,
I'm the kind of person that loves to change
the way that I look every single day.
Sometimes multiple times a day.
Like I definitely spent a long ass time
in the For Honor emblem maker.
And then in the end, it was as easy and as quick
as possible to make a little reboot logo,
but I spent a long time just seeing what else you could do.
So there's that.
All right.
So on all, the game has been extremely rewarding.
I haven't spent any money.
I have felt, I haven't felt the desire
to spend any money in the game.
But more than,
Why would you when they're giving you all that fucking
money?
Well, they only gave me some herd plat,
but that I didn't ask for that for giveaways
and then whatever.
But how you didn't keep any?
I did, of course.
Okay.
You kept two of them.
If you want to use a,
Because he's a monster.
Big streamers get free shit.
So if you go to my Twitter or Twitch page right now
and look at my profile information
and this conversation has prompted you
to give Warframe a shot.
Oh.
You could use the,
Oh, oh shit, here we go.
Or you could use mine.
Yeah.
Or you could use Plagues.
Oh, are we doing it?
We're in there?
Ubercode Woolly M?
Yeah.
There's a difference.
This isn't during the ad read, you check-ass.
But no, so here's the deal, right?
When somebody Warframes you up by your promo code.
Yeah.
The first real money purchase they ever make,
you get 10% of it in plat.
In game currency.
That's a huge incentive for people
to fucking chill their shit.
So I was playing the other day
and I just got 37 plat out of nowhere, just free.
And it's not like from their purchase,
it's just extra plat.
It just came out of nowhere.
You can see the amount of plat that they bought too.
This is how much money your friend bought.
You don't know that person bought 370 plat.
But I told Pat this, the funny thing about it
is that so many people from our fandom,
like this thing about Warframe.
Everyone already plays Warframe.
Yeah, everyone already plays it.
Everyone already has an account.
So it's useless.
I don't know if you know this, but our audience
already is all over it.
Is way, way, is that right?
Yeah, they have been, yeah.
I cannot play that game without people seeing that it's me.
Like every other match.
Oh, hey Blake.
I have the maxed out friend request at all time.
And it's not just cause it's free,
it's also cause it's good.
So that mean we were talking about that a few days ago
and it was like, why did we ignore this game for so long
because it's free?
And the assumptions that we had against it.
Because it's free.
I actually didn't, for context for anyone wondering like,
why is hours played so high?
It's because I used to play all the time back,
like shit whenever it was,
is like five or something years ago.
So I have a lot of hours from that time
and I just came back to it.
It's, you know, it's like a pyramid scheme,
but everyone wins in the pyramid.
No one loses anything in the pyramid.
The pyramid is these like crazy ass like Sentai suits.
Yeah.
And it's like, I like.
But so, and here's the last thing I wanna say about Warframe.
I'm gonna probably end up talking about this
for a couple of weeks, honestly.
And if we, well one, if we did a video,
it's gonna be the exact same format as the Monster Hunter
video and it's gonna assume that if there's a second video,
it's cause you got in, right?
Or it's my character and I'm like, hey, check this out.
Because that first one can be like tutorial
and all sorts of crazy shit, but the path is long.
Yeah, okay.
The thing that I didn't know about Warframe
and that I didn't know that I missed.
So Monster Hunter's great
and Monster Hunter will always have a special place
in my heart.
But I have, I have a-
Are you divorcing Monster Hunter?
I have a problem with Monster Hunter World.
You have a problem with addiction.
Warframe is my friend now.
No.
And you will lock time into a thing.
This is a different problem that is much weirder.
Hmm, okay.
I am at the end game of Monster Hunter Worlds
and I have the set that I like
and I have most of the decorations that I want.
And Monster Hunter World scaled back
a lot of the really bizarre mechanics.
I'm at a point in playing Monster Hunter
that I look at the item screen
and I understand everything on it.
It upsets you.
I kind of missed looking at the screen
and being like, what?
There were multiple times
whenever I was talking to you,
you responded with ellipses.
I would respond with ellipses or what?
There was a point in,
there was a point during my stream
in which a character said,
you have to do this mission
that I didn't know what it was
before the Fomar Boltmores are finished.
Yeah, that's what it was.
And I went, what the fuck is that?
What is that?
And then the chat went, ha ha, the Boltmores
or whatever the fuck it was.
And I had this moment of almost parallelization
looking at a chart going,
I don't understand one element on this screen.
The unknown.
And I had that with 14.
The appeal of the unknown.
And now where I'm within 14 and I'm like,
okay, I know how everything works
and the rating and all that.
And I'm like, I want to learn a new system
and this system is fucked
because they keep changing it.
It changes every couple of months.
And I miss that like diving into nonsense
and pulling out something of value.
Now, many people are not like that.
Many people like what I,
it's a good thing that Warframe's community
is so aggressively helpful.
They're very nice.
It's very surprising.
So Rosyme is really trying his best to help you too.
I feel, and this is not a quality judgment,
but I feel that that feeling gets much,
much, much put off by PVP, right?
Because the challenge-
I'm gonna say almost isn't any.
Of overcoming what other people are throwing at you.
Makes, you know what I mean?
Like it's not just the mystery anymore.
It's also about overcoming that
with the tools you have there.
And then you look at,
and then I feel like that feeling will exist
in any situation where you don't have that outside output
because output, input rather,
because people that are fucking S ranking,
all for the road day, flawlessly,
you can put the controller down.
You've done it.
You've done it.
So there's two things I wanna say to that.
One, I think you're completely right.
And I think that's part of the reason
Warframe's so successful is that it has the most,
I went back and looked.
It has the most aggressive update schedule
I've ever seen for anything.
They are insane.
They completely redid the movement.
They completely redid melee.
They completely redid this.
They completely.
Like I was playing with a friend of mine
who has 500 hours in the game.
And we got, I was asked,
I asked him a question about something.
He's like, the fuck is that?
Like, oh, I guess it's new because I'm level two.
And I just encountered it.
He's like, what?
And the other thing is that while the desire
to compete with another person,
definitely negate some of that.
It also runs the risk of that other person
using that feeling against you and causing you to drop.
Right, right, right.
There's no player that's gonna come
and ruin my fucking day with Warframe.
With knowing something you don't know.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
And in fact, if they know something that I don't
and it's starting to bum me out,
I'll ask them, what is that?
And they tell me, oh, that's Octavia.
She has a little disco ball that plays E1M1.
And that gives you buffs.
Yeah, I never even told you about the fucking
Mandacourt system where you can actually
make your own songs and game
and it's incredibly complicated.
It's an entire system for one character.
We have to acknowledge that we're clearly going
for this podcast.
Oh yeah.
I'm having a good day.
I don't mind that, but I can't do it
without a little bit of caffeine.
All right, so let's take a 10 minute break.
Let me get some caffeine and we'll come back
because we're-
I will go get you caffeine.
Thank you.
We are just kicking off the news.
For a six hour podcast.
I'll do a six hour podcast.
Well, I don't have a fucking-
No, I do have an album.
My dick is dry.
I got it out today.
Oh.
But we can at least get through our regulars and do this.
So we're gonna take a little break
and we'll be back in-
Now.
Yeah.
We'll be back in 10 or less.
All right.
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da.
To break song that we don't have.
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da.
Da-da-da-da, da-da-da, da-da-da.
The song didn't need to be that long, Pat.
Hey, man.
Yeah, it is worth acknowledging
that too mellow, the God has just laid out
one of the sickest albums of all time.
One of the best albums I've ever heard.
With his new remix of,
not remix, excuse me, his tribute album to Jet Set Radio.
Which is Memories of Tokyoto.
It is absolutely stellar.
And you, if you're a fan at all of anything
like Jet Set Radio, you need to go check it out.
I've been using his music on the last couple episodes
because of how fucking rad it is.
We met Mello at Magfest.
Yeah, man, he's a fan, he's a cool guy.
He hangs out.
Oh, Mello.
And absolutely, absolutely worth your,
worth your ears.
Your patronage.
And that too.
Yeah.
It's, hey, look, Woolly and Pat
are talking about an album that they both love.
How about that, right?
I love this album.
I've been listening to it when I work out.
I've been listening to it almost every day
to and from work.
It's amazing.
It's fucking great.
And I mean, and this is in a world where
I've got the Black Panther album playing every day.
You know what I mean?
But like, no, this is getting rotation.
You're looking at me a little funny right now.
Wow, it's a good album.
It's a fucking good album.
You feeling all right?
Everything cool?
Everything cool.
We're cool, right?
You should go listen to that album.
Have you listened to that album?
I have not.
Have you done your duty to listen to that album?
You're not going to guilt me into listening
to the Black Panther album, Woolly.
Oh, boy.
All right.
We are back.
Get your caffeine.
Got my caffeine.
Thank you very much, Pat.
Oh, you're quite welcome.
I got confused for a second when you thanked me.
And I forgot doing that.
I forgot that I did that just now.
And we are going to roll into.
Trinket of V8 energy drink.
I said one of the Black Cherry ones.
Oh, man.
That's crazy.
Oh, we're going to roll into news.
Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
Oh, oh, oh, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep,
beep, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.
What's new this week?
Uh, damn, I'm just thinking about those fucking.
Are you on 10 yet?
Yeah, it's a good album.
It's a good album.
Go get it.
24-hour party people is the most deep into my soul
a song has ever gotten.
I've been around the world, but I like my bedroom the most.
The song about rapping and not leaving your house fucking.
Yeah.
I don't care how the clubs lit.
I just make the club hits.
Oh my God.
That track is so good.
Too mellow, man.
Too mellow.
Yeah, so this week, a couple of things dropped off.
One thing that who can say they didn't see it coming.
Fucking Mr. G himself makes his way
into the Soul Calibur series.
I would say I called it except everyone called it.
I mean, the most predictable timing of this franchise
that is known for its guests and this franchise not known
for doing anything like this, speaking out to say,
hey, guys, this character might show up somewhere.
Geralt of Rivia.
Jerry the horse shows up.
He's showing up the Witcher himself.
And you know what?
It makes sense because fucking he's a swordman
from the past.
With a little magic stuff.
So why wouldn't it work?
So when he shows up in the fucking, so OK.
You know how it first so after you actually.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, the fact that well,
as someone who hasn't played the series,
the fact that he pops up with the Wild Hunt theme
playing is damn good.
That's a really good song, man.
So Geralt's inclusion really like the music in that game bonus
that none of the other characters have ever had,
not necrid, not spawn, not link, not nothing.
How do you think Geralt shows up in the Soul Calibur universe?
He hates portals apparently.
So every book, every game, everything with Jerry
is that he hates portals.
He hates them.
Every time he gets transported somewhere, it is like, fuck.
I fucking hate that.
And there's even a bit in which an argument in the third game,
like your ex just teleports you a mile away.
Right, right, right.
Above a lake.
Yes, yeah.
And so for him to just go, I fucking hate portals.
Done.
That is done because that shit happens to him all the time.
That sounds more comical than it probably actually is.
No, it's actually pretty comical.
But it's like, OK.
Oh, I thought I looked over.
I thought it was a warframe.
No, it's not.
But it's just nightmare.
So yes, it is a warframe, actually, to be perfectly honest.
And if it's not, then I'm sure someone's already done it.
The trailer opens with the plot device
that like, yeah, guess what?
There's going to be portals pulling people all around.
And then here comes the witcher.
Here comes witchy G.
And you know what he's doing when he's when he's fucking fighting?
He's doing a bunch of normal sword shit.
Yeah, he's kind of not doing too much fanciness with it,
which is, I guess, what he does in the video game.
He's very known on sense, which is cool.
That's fine.
He's got a magic.
So there is one thing that they do, which is fairly
important that they change animation wise.
When he fights Mitsurugi and 99% of the cast,
he should use the flat regular sword with the crosshilt.
Why is that?
But when he fights nightmare or anything like that,
he should be pulling out the one with the triangular cross.
Oh, yeah.
Because steel swords are generally
used against human opponents.
And silver is for monsters.
Now, if you ask him, he goes there both for monsters.
And it's like a little eye roll, because you
don't have to be a vampire to be a fucking monster.
Right, OK.
But the fact that he's fighting nightmare,
one makes perfect sense, because that's what he does.
It's kind of like that.
That's a detail, though.
You know what I mean?
Like, whoa.
He's still got both swords on his back.
They're both there.
Yeah.
But I mean, you're more likely to see him pull both out
for different combos purposes.
Much more likely.
Yeah, yeah.
Because, hey, guess what?
Silver's trash.
It's terrible.
It has a metal.
It's terrible.
You know, you don't want to clink that against someone
else's swing.
No, man.
That's just an indent.
Like making gold armor.
Yeah.
You want to stab that into a big, stupid ant monster.
But if it's star metal, and it's going to burn them.
Oh, yeah.
Then it's star metal.
It is like the witcher's have two swords.
It's like one of those, really.
It's like a Darth Vader has a pink lightsaber.
Sure.
It's that.
The other thing, too, is they, in the little release
that they blurb that they put out,
they mentioned that he's going to totally
be using swordplay, potions, and combat magic and such.
So I expect.
It's not Link.
Not Link.
But it's going to be like a bunch of projectile shit mixed in.
Well, he has bombs, too.
They don't mention bombs, though, which is smart.
He's probably going to use nearly all the magic in,
like, his unblockables.
What do they call those runes that he lives on the ground?
Are they glyphs?
And the witcher series?
Signs.
OK.
Does he have anything like that?
The spin shuttle?
Yeah.
In the trailer, he uses two of them.
One of them can only be in the little cutscene moments,
because it's the mind control sign.
That's why he does the hand thing.
And it's a white flash.
And that's why the person stands up and just takes it.
But he's got what is essentially force push, binding trap
on the floor, fire, a shield, and a mind control.
That's your five.
So some of those can fit right into a moveset.
Some of those, like the mind control one,
cannot fit into a moveset, so it must be relegated
to fancy special moves.
But when I saw that, that felt like watching the Monster Hunter
trailer for Marvel.
They're getting it.
They get it.
It's faithful.
What's really shocking is how much of the box he takes up.
Yeah.
He's the whole thing on the right side.
He's actually pretty much, it's like him and, let me see
if we can take a look at it, but the Soul Calibur box art
was just like, it's Geralt Mitsurugi.
Him and Mitsurugi, and they're calling it a day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's, so like, some people have lamented fucking guest
characters in Soul Calibur because they're only there
for the one and whatever, but like, it's working
because I'm seeing people that are going,
I don't know what the fuck Soul Calibur is, but oh man,
Geralt, oh yeah, I'm in.
Geralt in a fighting game is all it takes.
Totally.
Which are three?
It's sold like tens of millions of copies.
No, it's more along the lines of,
I don't know what a Soul Calibur is.
I'm like, that's a Soul Calibur is kind of niche now.
That's a person that's not been alive for very long.
It's possible.
In America, at least.
Isn't it really huge over in Europe?
It's massive.
Europeans love their Soul Calibur.
Like South America loves its King of Fighters.
Or let's take this European character.
And she has this Polish character.
Yeah.
Actually, he has a point.
And Geralt is explicitly European, yeah.
Well, I'm trying to read.
I'm like, Ker Morhen?
Ker Morhen, yep.
That's his home place, and that's where.
That's the shithole Witcher castle that is in complete shambles.
But where is that located?
In the north of Witcher Town.
The north of Tamaria.
Witcher Town.
But I mean, you want Witcher Town, right?
That's what you wanted to hear?
I wanted to hear Witcher Town.
OK.
In Witcher Land.
And now, oh, by the way, we forgot to mention this a while ago.
But for Monster Hunter, slap your fucking stickers
on the Monster Hunter box, featuring Dante
from the Devil May Cry series.
Sure can.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
And you know what, man?
Like, rebellion as a charge blade is a cooler weapon.
No, it turns into Alistar, right?
It does, yeah.
The axe mode is Alistar.
That's super rad.
That's so fun.
That's the costume, though.
I appreciate that.
You can actually wear a components of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Devil Jo comes out tomorrow.
If they just did Transmog.
Playing Warframe makes me really mad at Monster Hunter's
lack of Transmog.
Why is that not in there?
This seems like something people would have been asking for
for years.
They were.
They've always been asking for it.
And the really frustrating part is that it was in Double
Cross.
There is Transmog in Double Cross.
So I spoke to Yuri, the Capcom community manager
for Monster Hunter.
And I said, hey, man, wow, you guys
are updating this game a lot, way more than you used to.
Teams got to know about people wanting Transmog, right?
Because they're not going to answer you if you just.
He's like Japanese studio, you never know.
And Yuri responds with, the team is very aware of this
desire by the fans.
It is in their hands now.
So the trailer does something for the Devil May Cry
in Monster Hunter promotion, where the monsters are talking
to Dante.
It's really great.
Now, there's no way that that becomes a thing
when you're using him.
It's just for the trailer.
It's just for the trailer.
But fuck.
So it's nice to know that.
Would that be incredible though?
Yeah, Dante's cameo appearance has so much extra work
put into it compared to the other stuff.
When he puts the slinger ammo in,
Nightmare Beta shows up on his arm.
Oh, wow.
Like it just appears.
Wow.
It's nuts.
And the emotes for him shooting the guns
is going to be sold for $5 or whatever the fuck it is.
Also the fact that, I mean, like so you will you, hold on.
Are the male and female versions different outfits there?
They are.
So unlike Ryu and unlike Aloy, which you've currently
missed, but they'll come back at some point,
the Dante armor is all separate pieces.
And it's a real set.
And you can really put it on together.
So if that hair has good stats, everyone's
going to be Dante.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Which is why there is a, that's why you can be Lady Dante.
Well, that fucking coat, I'll tell you what.
The coat is going to be very fucked.
The coat's going to be the thing.
The coat is going to be very popular.
I'm going to make a blue coat.
It's because it's a high rank set and because it's all pieces,
people are hoping that it has good stuff on it.
Because like the current meta is everyone has an eye patch.
Well, what if everyone was to take a look at it?
That's why you had a transmog.
What if you create Sparta?
What if?
So yes, this game needs transmog.
They are an interview with the developer.
So tomorrow is the big update with Double Joe
and a lot of weapon balance changes.
There was a one-off statement by the lead saying,
yeah, the next big content update is in April.
That has been confirmed.
So it looks like they're going to be on a monthly update
schedule.
So every month, complain for transmog until it shows up.
Them saying that the team is aware of this desire
makes me think, oh yeah, they've known for years.
It's just, they're just assholes.
It's just on the list.
And we'll know that they, it's in a different game.
I never know.
Like if it's a Japanese developer, I never know,
because they could be pulling that attitude of, well,
this is our vision.
Isn't it, is it not?
Oh, sorry, Double Joe comes out Thursday.
I misspoke.
Is it not really baffling, though,
that they didn't just have the girl outfit be lady,
and then they have one of the fucking gun lances mapped
to lady's weapon?
Because it's so the same thing?
No, because it's less work to just modify Dante's coat
for a female model.
And admittedly, I know you want to have both of both sides,
but you should certainly, absolutely should.
I just mean that, like, her weapon is so close to a gun
lance that it, like, you know?
That might show up.
By the way, a fan creation greatsword is coming,
and that thing looks, it's called the, oh god,
what, the Wyvern Blaster or some shit?
It's a rocket.
It's a fucking Pacific Rim rocket.
That's a greatsword.
It's just a big metal slab that's all future looking,
and at the top, there's a huge rocket thing.
And when you fucking charge it up,
it creates this enormous exhaust.
So yeah, I was way too low rank to get Aloy
when that was a thing.
She'll come back.
How often does that happen?
She's probably gonna come back in the spring festival
or whatever the fuck it is,
which is, everything cycles back.
They say, at the end of this game's life,
they hit the switch and all event quests turn on forever.
Okay, well it's more surprising, I guess,
that like, I think that one is like made for the grinders,
the people that get to that in the first fucking couple days.
Time walking stuff is something I'm never really happy with.
If you only can get those costumes
when you're at high rank, am I wrong about that?
They waited like a month and a half to put that out
for just high rank.
Everybody's at high rank.
Okay, well, I mean, not everybody.
Everyone.
I'm not at a high.
Not who people who played occasionally.
It's not, and it's the same thing for,
like there's the Street Fighter costumes
where it's like, if you're not coming in every week,
you're missing parts and you're not gonna get your,
Ken wearing his Wrathian suit.
I think that more than anything else,
this chases me away from games.
Oh, you weren't here on this week?
Then you're never gonna get this thing.
I wasn't high enough to get all the dark,
the down, down the dark muddy path and all that.
And it was just like, it was advertising
all these quests I couldn't do at the time.
And I was like, oh, okay.
Actually.
Like what, the really crazy one?
Actually, no, no.
Here's where, here's where, here's where I can confirm
that like, no, that's not the case.
Because remember what I was telling you about
like when I was like doing a challenge up in those SOS's?
Yeah.
It was like doing the Zora stuff and whatnot.
It's like, there's a middle ground of no one's here.
That's right.
And everyone's either below or above.
Because they haven't put a lot of time in,
or they're putting in.
Yeah, it's about 20%, 80%.
Well, there's some people that are not getting it.
There's some people that are not getting that stuff.
Like me, I didn't get that shit.
No, actually, you can see the exact intended estimate
of where people are in the game,
in the game's early couple weeks,
where you know the limited bounty,
where it's the weekly quests.
You got to see what do they think people are at.
And the first week was all low rank quests.
The second week, it was all high rank quests.
And I think the fourth week,
it's like fight tempered monsters.
And it's like, that's the end of the fucking game.
So they really assume that whoever's like,
like in there is punching it real, real hard.
The supremacy audience, if that makes sense.
How do you think they're gonna respond
whenever it hits PC,
and then there's going to be rampant cheating?
There's rampant cheating on the consoles.
I'm sure that there is.
On PC, it's gonna be very accessible though.
It's very, dude.
Like what is the normally their policy on that?
Because it's cheering myself.
Yeah, because it's a single player game, really.
Yeah, who cares?
They don't do really anything about it.
Like what, who gives a shit?
It doesn't.
Apparently from software.
Yeah, so the way that it works is like you get
on the PlayStation and the Xbox,
you can fucking cheat yourself infinite materials.
And the one that you know is fucked
is when you see a guy come in week three or four
and he's Hunter rank 999.
You're like, that's not possible.
That's actually not possible.
They can get the only problem,
and you can solve this,
is people who cheat right now
can give you items that don't exist.
That's the thing, is if you cheat,
because it's a squad-based game,
if you cheat and fuck up someone else's thing,
then now we're.
So if somebody, you know there's dash juice?
No.
Okay, there's an item called dash juice.
Okay.
It makes your stamina regen faster
and deplete more slowly.
Cool.
There used to be an item called mega dash juice.
Mega dash juice does not exist in Monster Hunter World,
but the data for it does because it'll be added at some point
and people can flip a switch and have mega dash juice
and you can transfer those items to other people.
If somebody gives you mega dash juice,
I highly suggest you destroy it
because I have no idea what will happen to your shit
if the game is updated and it encounters a bug
that they couldn't foresee.
Right, might lose your shit.
Like if you drink it or something,
it makes you clip out of a world
and stretch into a million places or something.
Who knows?
But if somebody gives you an item that can't exist,
you should probably destroy it.
Okay.
But in terms of what are people gonna do.
Or just don't pick it up.
Or just don't take it, right?
If what are people gonna do on PC,
people are gonna, I'm gonna cheat my fucking ass off
when that game comes out on PC
because I'm gonna switch on.
No, listen, I'm gonna switch to PC
and I'm gonna recreate my save file as it is on the place.
Yeah, because that's what you would wanna do
in the first place.
You have all this time.
There's not gonna be a save transfer function.
There's not.
So I'm gonna recreate my save.
I'm not gonna give myself more than I had,
but I have a whole lot right now.
So.
And then come the Pelico rescans
where you actually can have your dog.
Yeah, that's right.
Hey, that's fun.
And I'm sure that surely people will be inserting
like custom versions of monsters
that they have in all kinds of locations.
Oh, we'll see what they can do.
It's currently unknown.
Yeah, because if they don't care.
I still don't know what a Zanoga is.
I don't know what the fuck.
Oh, sure.
Yeah, sure.
It doesn't matter until I kill it.
You know what I mean?
So whatever.
That's the most monster hunter thing
I've ever heard you say.
You're completely right.
It doesn't matter until you kill it.
Yeah, if they don't release a transmog on their own,
PC can fix it right away.
This is Zanoga.
Yeah, okay.
You might have seen a lady cosplayer
showing off the most impressive suit
of cosplay armor of all time in her Zanoga armor.
Oh, the glowing thing?
Yeah, yeah, that's Zanoga set.
Okay, yeah, okay.
And that is the best monster hunter cosplay armor.
And I think anyone's ever seen and it's been done
because the LED lighting on it,
like it's not just perfect looking.
The LED lighting on it is exact.
And you're doing the monster
that's not in the new current game.
Hey, fuckers.
Zanoga's really popular.
I can't imagine that it won't show up.
You can see a little bit of Toby in Zanoga.
Whoa, what's wrong?
I'm sorry.
Those are your shoes on top there, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Did I wear two different pairs of shoes?
Yeah, you did.
Yeah, you did.
Well, you wore two different pairs of shoes.
Well, wait, drink your caffeine.
Okay, wait, what the fuck happened
to my braid this morning?
They're really different too.
Wow.
One's your green sneaker.
Wow.
That's why your purple sneaker with the colored laces.
And one's like a boot.
Okay, hold on.
What the?
That's not even close, man.
Oh, no.
Oh, this is bad, gang.
This is real bad.
Did you say you had recovered from last week?
He did say that he had recovered from last week.
Dude?
This.
That is, okay.
This, dude, I woke up and I just got here, right?
That's nuts.
Okay, this is bad.
So I put on my winter boot.
One winter boot on the right foot.
It is a brown, normal-looking winter boot with green laces.
It's like Tim-looking brown-ass thing.
And the other one is my Ava unit one shoe.
The latest, like more like a sneaker on universal ones?
And it's fucking not even remotely the same shoe.
It's not even the same size shoe.
One for business, one for pleasure.
Oh, no.
Oh boy, it's today, yeah, tired morning.
I fell asleep at like 5 a.m.
It was, it was, wow.
That's hilarious.
Oh boy, I'm, yeah, okay.
Woof, that happened.
That has never happened before, that happened today.
Hey, wait, listen.
It's never happened before that you realized.
That's true.
Like, I fucking, like I left the house,
I caught the Uber, you know what I mean?
Hey man, I've gone, I've gone a whole day
with my shirt inside out.
I think everybody does that.
You get, you go home and you're like,
I never zipped up my pants from taking a piss at the office.
There's no way to fix this shit.
No, you gotta walk home and shame.
That's, ooh.
I got places to be after this, too.
The important thing isn't that you did it.
How are you going to recover from it now?
Oh man.
Do you walk home in the same shoes?
You know what you can do?
You can walk home barefoot, cause that's legal.
I can't, I can't.
I gotta go to Haka after this.
Oh, I can't.
You have to go to a fucking class.
I gotta go to a fucking class?
No, I'm doing, we do it barefoot anyway, so it's fine.
I'ma just hide them.
But I gotta go, I have a class after this.
I can't, which reminds me, we gotta get a move on.
We gotta get a move.
All right, what do we got, more news.
Yeah.
What time's your class, man?
It is, it starts at six.
Okay, well, we gotta go.
Yeah, exactly.
So also, this week.
Through this news.
A really good God of War TV spot.
Yeah, it did.
It was good.
And that was a, that was a cool ass spot.
Oh, like the arrow, it went through the deer.
Nice, good, good, good themes.
Good fatherly themes.
Good teams.
You know, you know what's nice
when you don't murder your children?
Yeah.
That's a good, you know.
I learned this from my grandpa.
But here's the thing about this too, it's like,
I get that it's kind of like the point of the story,
but it's like, no matter what Kratos does,
no matter how much of a good dad he is.
He's bad, he's bad.
Can't call him good daddy Kratos
cause he has a family he murdered.
Yeah.
Like you don't get past that.
Well.
With another good son.
You can't say, oops, do over.
Well, actually, if you really think about it,
he has two families that he murdered.
His mortal family and his immortal family.
I don't even know what else you're talking about.
He's his son.
Oh.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
I didn't know that.
I forgot everything.
Really?
That happened.
About some more.
And the third one.
What?
He's not immortal?
Well, he becomes an immortal.
He is a demigod.
But he was born, he's a what?
Wow.
So, at the end of God of War three,
after he fucked, this just fucks everything.
I know, but.
But at the end of God of War three,
when he ices everybody, that's family number two.
And then they go, you just killed everybody
that was your family.
Yeah.
Oh, how did you find out?
Zeus tells him.
I mean, you're my son?
Yeah, I fucked him up.
I really hope this one ends with the little boy
killing him, just for old times sake.
Well.
And that, and like, when you end God of War three,
there's a really good thing where you run into Hera
and she fucking hates Kratos so much.
Cause he's just another kid.
Another kid.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Then Zeus fucked around.
Oh, how about that?
I didn't know that.
That's crazy.
Yes.
Whatever, who cares?
But it.
No one cares.
It's so fucking whatever.
Yeah, exactly.
I gave up after the first game,
like completely and utterly.
But the, it doesn't change.
Like I said, nothing changes the fact
that like you iced your first family.
Kratos is a monster.
Yeah, yeah, easily, easily.
And I don't.
I should mention.
Nothing you do here will remotely.
Well, like ignore the family.
You're aware that at the end of God of War three,
he destroys the entirety of the nation of Greece.
Right?
I thought he like, I heard that he like,
like there's a thing where he kills the guy
that's gonna, he kills somebody and it causes
like a tidal wave.
Whenever he kills a God,
their aspect goes out of control.
Yeah, okay.
So he kills Neptune and there's a tidal wave
over most of the country.
Right, okay.
And he kills Hermes and like a massive plague of flies,
attacks everything.
Right, yeah, okay.
By the end of, by the end of God of War three,
he's looking out over a completely ruinous,
annihilated landscape with infinite lightning storms,
locusts, tidal waves, constantly.
Yeah, but I got my revenge though.
But his revenge though.
I got it.
Greece no longer exists.
What do you think this takes place in a different area?
But his motivation the whole time is.
But revenge.
Oh man, I'm cursed.
Yeah, okay.
Yeah, it's exactly as awful as I thought it was.
Yeah.
Perfect.
What is, isn't the motivation just,
they manipulated him into killing his family
and that's this entire thing?
Yes, but it's not, but it's such a light push.
They didn't even manipulate.
It wasn't even, that's what it was.
It was on, like, and I never,
that's the part that stuck with me
and got me so upset to begin with the first time.
It wasn't even manipulation, Eli.
It was straight up like,
this guy loves killing everything
and he goes blood drunk so hard.
So, yeah, yeah, I remember that.
I remember that.
I'm gonna break down.
That all they did was just grab him by the shoulders
and point him in the direction of his hometown
and he just killed his way through.
I have, I have the bullet points here.
Are you ready?
Kratos is going on a murderous rampage for Ares.
Yeah.
Kratos goes into a temple and starts slashing
before he even sees what's in the temple
and his wife and daughter are there.
Yeah.
So the reason why it's Ares' fault
is because his wife and daughter
weren't supposed to be there
and Ares knew that and didn't do anything.
Right.
But he's like literally,
he's like shooting a machine gun into a crowd
and then behind the crowd was his family
that weren't supposed to be there.
Therefore, it's Ares' fault.
Okay, so Kratos knew,
he was like, Ares, you know that I am negligent
and blood thirsty.
Exactly.
And Ares lets it happen because he's like,
oh, that'll make him better.
That'll make him a better soldier.
And then he's sequel,
the reason why he's mad at Zeus
and here's where it gets really, really nuts
is that Zeus is like, you're a terrible God of War.
You won't like, you're just causing a world war all the time.
Like you're not, like it's-
Cause yeah, I left off where he sits on the throne.
He kills Ares and that's that.
It's awful.
Like you are the worst God ever.
Okay.
So Zeus fearing Kratos' power
and the fact that he's a terrible God of War
steals his God powers away and attempts to murder him.
Okay.
Which is why he has the big scar down
because he puts like a fucking berserk sword
through his chest.
Okay.
Kratos survives.
I gotta kill you now.
And Kratos' revenge plot against everyone else
has nothing to do with his family.
Yeah.
Why did he try-
It is literally Zeus, you tried to kill me.
Yeah.
Why did he try to kill-
So what do the other gods have to do with that?
They're with Zeus.
They're just on his side.
Yeah.
Yeah, why are they in on this?
They're just like, no, no, you're kind of shitty.
Did they all exact this plot?
No, they were just cool with it or whatever.
So it's Kratos the guy at the grocery store
screaming about it being free.
Yes.
The gods are just employees like, sir, please.
You said Zeus a text.
I lived, bitch.
Like-
Okay.
Like, so his-
And then at what point now in three does it just become
I actually don't care about anything?
So in three, oh, it's Zeus, you tried to kill me.
I'm gonna get you.
And Zeus is like-
But you said those two.
That's, well, he doesn't kill Zeus.
Oh, he just gets away.
He works his way up to Olympus, basically.
And then in three, he's like,
Zeus, I'm gonna get you.
And Zeus is like, nah, bitch.
And he's like, I'm gonna kill everything in my way
until I get you.
Until I get you.
And then Zeus just places every single god in his way.
As he runs away, got it, got it, got it, okay.
And then Zeus kills, sorry, then Kratos kills everybody
and causes a apocalypse beyond measure
and then moves to Norway.
I guess.
Like, so because that was just Greece, right?
So those gods only affected the area
that he was concerned with.
And he was such a fucking man child.
Kratos is clearly a lot older at the point in the story
and appears to be like, so maybe I've made a few mistakes.
And he makes references to some sort of promise
of protection or something.
And it's like-
It doesn't matter.
Well, what was the most-
What can you do to save?
What can you save in this video game
that's going to undo your personal holocaust, sir?
How far do you have to move
before you can't look at the horizon
and see the chaos that you created?
The most interesting thing about this God of War
is that Kratos is a little more mellow.
He is.
He's a little less like a psycho.
A little.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
But the second big story trailer they put out
is that the plot of the whole plot of the game
is that the kid is a demigod.
Yeah.
And he's the demigod of the God of War
and it shows a scene in which the kid is going murder crazy.
And I'll kill all of you,
because he's got all that shit in there.
Yeah, and the rage mechanic in this is to keep it down.
Why are they suggesting that that's the reason
why he was like that in the first place?
That he's just murder, boner, happy
because he's a demigod?
No.
Because Zeus isn't like that.
So was he fucking like the craziest bitch in the world?
Kratos is like that because Kratos is an asshole.
But the kid is like that because Kratos is a deity
and he transfers that God of War shit.
Oh, he got Kratos' murder boner.
So the whole thing is Kratos looks at the child
and the child is becoming God of War One Kratos.
Right.
And he's like, mm, mm, shit.
I don't know about this.
I don't know about this.
And it's an interesting setup.
It's a fucking interesting setup.
But there's nothing you can do to undo the bottom line
that is he's an irredeemable piece of shit.
In Kratos' own story, he is very much the hero
of a Greek tragedy in that he is the worst person
that has ever existed.
Sure.
Yeah, sure.
He is the worst person ever.
Is it even tragedy at that point?
It's not a comedy.
It didn't end with a wedding.
Everybody dies at the end since.
Most of the tragedies are just like, whoops, fuck my mother.
Kratos is just like, he had good intentions
of the wedding.
Then it's gotta be massacre.
Kratos is no real tragedy.
He is just an asshole.
And that's the problem is they thought
they were making a tragedy, you know?
So tragic that he murdered his wife and children
in his quest to murder everyone else's wife and children.
That's exactly it.
Exactly.
Like you set me up, you fucker.
I was gonna go in there and murder those women and children.
That weren't my wife and daughter.
Yeah, fuck those other people's kids.
I don't give a fuck.
But the fact that they were specifically the ones
that I liked means you're fucking,
you're dead, I'm gonna get you.
Right?
Such a noble, noble goal.
Like Max Payne went up and fucking iced his own family.
I thought that was somebody else's family.
How dare you, Valkyrion.
And that's your point of, to fucking stand on,
that's your soapbox?
It's like the worst character ever.
I don't know how they fixed this
because that's literally the first thing
that happens in this character's story ever.
Oh, hot off the presses.
Levi says Kratos also fucked Aphrodite, who's his sister.
So.
Yeah, he did.
There's that.
Yeah, he did.
All right, was that before the retcon?
No, that's in three.
So he finds out in the same game at the end,
after he does it?
Oh, in two, he finds out he's Zeus's son.
And three, he goes for it anyway.
Yeah, he's like, yeah, you're God's love.
He loves it.
So Luke Skywalker in reverse.
They're Greeks.
They don't give a fuck.
Hoppa, no.
Oh man, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Luke Skywalker in reverse.
I see, I see.
The Greeks invent the ancient form of degeneracy.
Wow.
The Romans picked it up and ran with it.
But the Greeks invented all that shit.
Did Zeus throw her in the way as well?
And she just fell on the dick?
I don't know what happened in three.
Was there a Caligula boss fight?
No.
No.
I think, I think.
Approach the horse from behind and press X.
I think Aphrodite might be the only character
that makes it through that game alive.
Oh, really?
Because she doesn't attempt to fight him.
She's just like, yeah, get in here.
Oh wow.
There's a party going on in here.
And then he lets it rock.
Yeah, okay.
He's like, see ya, she's like, cool.
Ha ha ha.
So that was.
Aphrodite, what the fuck is she gonna do?
That was her way out.
So that's how she survives.
What that really means is that the world as in shambles
love continues to exist.
Seriously, what a cut.
And then he finds some normal lady
and then he settles down.
Oh, I think the biggest.
Don't ask about the fucking, again,
don't ask about the genocide and slaughter
and holocaust of my past.
I think what might be the biggest
misopportunity in this game is that I wanna know
what fucking badass woman got Kratos to marry her.
No, it's probably the reverse.
It probably has like a weird sex fetish now
for the most boring, bland, like white bread,
plain ass face woman in the world.
And he's just like, oh yeah.
Or he just did that thing that heroes do or whatever
where they like play it all down
and pretend to just be a normal old man.
They never mentioned it.
Well, what they have to do, like,
I'm just thinking is like, no, you know what?
Actually, they would actually,
they can't show Kratos being married
cause you can't show a guy like Kratos
being married in a video game.
It would be too dark.
Oh, it's a crude Kratos in a fucking suit.
There is that.
Like it would be way too dark.
This is a guy who iced his family in a second.
And I don't know if she was Nordic
so that the kid is half and half.
The kid, she's absolutely Nordic on her set.
So he's just like, fuck my entire fucking clan
and God panty on.
I'm outta here.
Go find one of these.
These people are cool.
They got dragons.
I really do.
I really want a flashback scene
to whenever they meet for the first time.
She's like, where'd you get your skin?
How'd that happen?
Oh, you know.
Little this, little that.
Remember, the only reason Kratos is white
is cause that's his family.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which means that a little bit of his wife
slid into his new wife.
Okay.
Now I'm passing it on to you.
Worst protagonist of all time in video games.
Interim morality wise, yeah.
No question.
He's a cool fighter man, but like.
But worse than a villain,
because a villain knows what they're doing
and is totally doing like they're following through
on their beliefs.
Kratos is careless to the point of absurdity.
Kratos is the fucking person that walks into the store
and yells about the price on the floor.
Kratos is the guy who says,
fuck you, I didn't want your shitty yard anyway.
He's that guy.
He's that guy.
He's that guy.
That's why we hate him so much.
He's literally the asshole we talked about
at the beginning of the fucking fight.
Kratos is anti-patrion.
He's 100%.
Kratos, this is your fault.
No!
You should do it for the exposure.
Thanks Kratos.
God of exposure.
What would Kratos commission?
What kind of art would he commission?
Oh my God.
I'd teach you to do a portrait of my new wife,
except it's all in ash.
Like it's just charcoal.
Why?
No reason.
All right, other news.
I don't think we're able to actually mention the word
Kratos without getting into this discussion.
Cause he's so irredeemably awful.
Like he's so hateable.
Cause you're a child in your brain,
but you think you're right.
And the camera in the video game acts like you're right.
If the camera at least gave way and said,
look at the monster you're controlling,
then that would be one thing.
That happens.
That's the last thing that happens in God of War.
Is he looks out at the moment at the-
No, the very last thing that happens in God of War three
is that you see Kratos from Zeus's perspective.
Okay.
Like you actually, you are in first person perspective
of Zeus and you get to see what Kratos looks like.
And it's bad because he's Kratos.
It is so unbelievably like over the top with how wrong
you are.
By the end of three, like Zeus sees Kratos
and behind Kratos is the destroyed universe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you, like the game finally acknowledges that your big
badass hero man is actually a fucking.
Yeah.
Okay.
It's a really great moment actually.
It feels like, like from the description of it,
cause especially having played the first one
and knowing how they treated him feels a bit like a man
of steel, Batman, Superman thing.
Absolutely.
Feels like a, oh, we didn't mean to do that,
but I guess we can roll that way now.
There's a part in three where Kratos
casually and flippantly like uses a lady to like hold
the door open and as a result,
she gets like viciously torn apart.
And it's, it's like disturbing.
You play God of War one, right?
Yeah.
You know, you push the fucking soldier into the flame thing
to push a lever to open a door at some point.
Yeah, yeah.
They're, they're going for that, but it's, it's.
What happens?
She, she like, I forget, he whole, he,
he places her like as a person to basically jam some gears.
And as a result, like you move away and you hear what happens
and they, they were going for that.
It's like Kratos is bad at what,
and it comes off really disturbing.
Like it's, it's, it's probably the most violent thing
in the whole game and it's really, it's, it's awful.
It's awful.
And that's the moment that like,
but like the whole game falls apart.
But what do you buy?
Like, when you say that, like, you mean like,
you don't mean he like told her,
you go hold that door open.
No, he like grabs her as like an object to jam into a spot.
Like a stick.
He's throwing a wrench into the gears
except the wrench is a human body.
It is absolutely horrific.
It is way worse than any of the graphic violence in that game.
It's one of those things like the context
and like it's about halfway through the game.
It's one of Neptune's maidens, I think.
And this person has nothing to do with anything.
Yeah. And that's what it always, that's what it always is.
Especially in this game
where you're this big fucking badass walking around.
And then if that's what it is,
it's like, yeah, you grab the rando and then do the thing.
There's recently a bunch of articles that just came out
about Itsun Osan working with Tameem
and the other folks at Ninja Theory.
And other people working with them on enslaved,
like the writer working on enslaved.
And it shows a lot about what Ninja Theory
thinks a badass character is.
And the one from enslaved is, okay, so monkey goes down
and you start the game on an airship
and there's a guy clinging on the edge
and it's just some guy.
And the Ninja Theory team was like, yeah, monkey's a badass.
He kicks that guy off to his death.
And then the writer of the story is like,
to me, that just symbolizes that monkey's a cunt.
Right?
They had, oh, like it was an interviewer.
You talked about this?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's like random violence against-
For nothing.
For its own sake?
Yes.
Does not make me think the character is cool or strong.
Yes.
It makes me think they're a psychopath.
Welcome to why I hate Nathan Copeland, right?
The first boss of No More Heroes 2.
Oh yeah, he throws the girls at you.
What the fuck was that about?
Yeah.
For nothing, right?
And it's like, oh, you should also hate Travis too.
I know, right?
But, and I do.
But it's like, look at these badasses
being badass with their fight.
And it's like, literally nothing.
For absolutely nothing.
And I know it's like,
it's you're supposed to kind of think they're better.
Like, no, like that moment meant nothing.
Also, it really doesn't work when it's your hero.
And he, and then your hero just slashes through like,
oh, your projectiles, fuck you.
You know?
And then the fight goes on and I'm like,
this is how we're opening the gate.
Like, it was really,
I felt the same way you're mentioning.
Like, it was like, what the fuck was that?
That was a huge moment of like,
fucking total dissonance for me.
And I still, I'm still like, that's,
I don't, I think that's fucking,
that was a bit much.
I use people for my own purposes.
I'm an alpha male because of that.
Yeah.
But okay.
We gotta keep, we gotta keep.
We gotta, we do after all.
It's a great podcast.
Yes.
But we gotta, we're still traveling.
And everyone in the aforementioned conversation is like,
yes, they're murderers doing what they think is their thing.
So yes, it's internally consistent,
which is why it's like, I get it.
But it's just, you have to, it's like, again,
where is the camera?
What is, how does it treat that?
Right?
Here's the thing for Kratos,
is that it is not that he is indifferent to cruelty,
is that he views cruelty as like, its own end.
Yeah.
Cruelty, for cruelty's sake.
Yeah.
And if those people with Ninja Theory were like,
oh, he does that and then that guy
fucking gets killed or whatever.
And then like, you show that moment and then the camera's like,
oh, look at that fucking cool moment.
He just murdered that guy for nothing.
And then he drops a one liner on it,
like, you know, see you next fall.
You know, it's like, fuck you person making this, because-
I want to be really clear that person is not an enemy.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
It's a random person.
Of course.
So it's easy to dismiss and go, of course,
these characters would do that.
But it's like, no, like Superman being a piece of shit,
is if the camera is also on board with this
and being like, no, look at Jesus though.
You should be feeling like this is Jesus.
Superman smothering a baby with a pillow
and you hear like, oh, and the camera's got him with-
There's a huge difference between that
and like the camera being like, no,
look at this asshole slowly floating down
to save these people that desperately need his help.
Anyway, let's move.
Look at me, I'm space Jesus.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Thanks, Superman.
Sonic Mania Plus announced-
What the, who are these characters?
Fan contests?
I don't know.
They are characters from games.
One is from an arcade game and one is from,
used to be part of the Chaotix until he was kicked out.
Ray the Flying Scroll and Mighty the Armadillo
are now playable in an all-new on-core mode
and expanded four-player competition mode.
I had heard of Mighty.
I had super never heard of Ray.
Yeah.
We got, yeah, Sonic Mania Plus,
which is also gonna come with an art book.
It's a whole package actually.
Yeah, it's cool actually.
What do you got here?
New part of the characters, HD, definitive vision,
on-core mode and the physical.
It's cool.
The physical.
I'm glad to see Sonic Mania getting some extra play
because that game's awesome.
Don't hear anything about any Sonic Forces Plus.
Hell no, you don't.
But what you do hear is something about an engine revving up
because I don't know why,
but they're teasing a new Sonic Racing game.
Who gives a shit?
But it's like, they have the car parts revving up
and you're like, oh, it's that thing
that they're gonna drive that's slower
than them on foot.
Is Yuzuzuki gonna drive a AM2 cabinet in this one?
Like, who the fuck even knows?
We're just, we're doing this bit again.
Where these characters that run faster than vehicles
are slowing themselves down by driving in vehicles.
Shenmue Man can't run faster than Sonic.
He needs a car.
Like Tails can run faster than a car.
Tails can fly over the track.
It makes no sense, anyway.
Well, it took me fair.
Sonic Racing, most of the cast is,
it should be called Sega, whatever.
Sega, but like this is not, no, this is a brand new thing.
Oh, then fuck this.
This is not a sequel to any previous game.
This is stupid as shit.
Yeah, they specifically are saying
this is a brand new thing.
This is dumb.
So.
It's dumb.
The design of Sonic characters bothers me so much.
Ken, can Sonic beat Mario with the Olympics?
Yes.
If a character canonically is moving so fast
that they're moving light speed.
Yeah, I would say so, yeah.
And Sonic is the flash.
And not ripping open like, you know,
the reality behind them are causing huge problems
with black holes or anything like that.
It's pretty impressive.
He can talk faster than the speak of light.
Oh boy, summer lesson, never over.
Coming to Tekken 7 in costume form.
We got the three girls of summer lesson
in costumes and further the Tekken cast.
That does not look good.
It's a scary lady.
Some of them look really weird
because they still got their original faces,
but some of them look fine.
But then there's a particular thing with,
yeah, like Eliza looks like super dead and weird.
But what gets really weird is they have another thing
for the guys characters.
You can have a little floating avatar
of the summer lesson girls above your shoulder,
just kind of cheering in certain moments in the fight.
And it's very, very odd.
It's like, why is there this weird pixie thing
just floating in space stuck to your shoulder?
I don't know.
You think developers might be weirdos?
I think Harada is single-handedly doing this himself.
King weirdo fuckboy.
Email him.
And never stop.
Also, it has been confirmed that the only thing
that needs to happen right now
for Kiryu to get into Tekken is for Harada to ask.
That's basically it.
They've said-
Yeah, it is out.
It is now straight up just in Harada's hands.
Did Sega say that?
Yes.
Wow.
Where was that?
I came out earlier this week.
I saw an article, but I forgot to actually do that.
Oh, fuck, I didn't see that.
But it is in Harada's hands to just hit the button
to Kiryu go.
Watch Kiryu, never get in.
Look at this weird shit right here.
Oh, that's creepy.
I don't like that at all.
About a minute into the video,
you have these fucking little shoulder avatars
that cheer and just kind of stand and float with you.
They're really creepy.
It's super weird.
I feel like I'm having the reaction
that other people have to me when they're like,
what are you doing?
I'm having that very distinctly
for these weird shoulder puppet things.
I don't know why, I don't know why,
but that's what they're putting on everybody now.
Oh, you know what it is?
Well, I know it's the reference to their icons
that they have in the game.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
See, you're creeped out because you're not creepy enough.
See, in summer lesson, you creep over their shoulders.
Ah.
And now in Tekken, they'll creep over yours.
Little baby stands.
And the weird part is that they're locked onto
your shoulders like coordinates.
Yes.
So every time, like if someone like rolls their shoulder,
it's so bad.
Yeah, you see them moving up and down like,
okay, so what do we need to do?
First thing you gotta test is take Claudio
and do his 100% damage punch where he cracks his shoulder
and then like smacks you down.
Do that thing while it's floating above you
and see if they just float around.
They're locked onto like the rigid rigging
and it's so bad looking as it is.
Even Plague is afraid.
There you should.
As you should.
It's not good.
As you should.
What else happened?
We have the, yeah, Dark Souls remastered
is not just Switch, it's coming to everything.
Oh, everybody knows.
So just, you know.
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that was no.
That was one of the first bits of information
they released, though.
Yeah, the Switch version is gonna be the trash version.
It was the weirdness of it being a PC release
when apparently they're not really doing anything with it.
Okay.
They must be cleaning up.
And like the version that they showed early,
which may not be the remaster, I imagine it's not,
but people notice like those are the same textures.
It's the same everything.
And last but not least,
there is a fun, interesting thing where
there's a new game being developed called Brave Neptunia.
This is the weirdest ever.
And it's being made in Quebec City.
Right here.
Well.
By Artisan Studio.
Well, six hours.
A couple towns over.
Yeah.
But it's being made here in Quebec by Artisan Studios
and they straight up are being hired
to make a Japanese game.
And they're doing it and everything about the way
they're developing it is like,
yeah, we're just taking cues from what?
Dude, it's the shot of Chateau Frontenac.
And then the guys with the fucking Japanese text
are doing them and stuff.
Yeah.
They're doing like, it's like a compile heart
is basically just like controlling them from here.
And so that huge fucking scarf.
That Japanese games being made in Quebec
is starting to become a thing, by the way.
I did not know that.
Because they're not the only one.
Artisan Studios is getting this type of thing.
They're just doing it.
There is a Montreal branch of CyberConnect.
Okay.
Wow, I didn't know that.
There's a Montreal branch of CyberConnect now.
Can we go down there and see what's going on?
Yeah, maybe.
But that's the thing.
So, Woolly, as we've established,
you and I created Warframe.
Yes.
And Matt and I also created Warframe.
Yes.
No, you created Frame Fighter.
Yeah.
And Matt and I created Warframe.
We created two best friends to play.
Yeah.
What?
All right.
Fine.
Sure.
We didn't even know you until the thing.
Already got us a jackass.
Oh, I haven't told that story yet.
I did it.
Did Liam create this?
Is he responsible?
Quebec Neptunia?
Yeah.
I mean, fuck.
Did the email he wrote five, six years ago
finally go through and someone was like,
yeah, that's a good idea.
I mean, at some point,
the industry in Japan clearly decided
we need to take this elsewhere.
So, we'll see how this turns out.
But you know what?
If Japan can't tell,
then what's the problem?
Right?
Quebec.
That's very spacious.
Native Japanese can't tell the difference.
All right.
And if anyone who is also like,
like imagine where we start going off
on one of our giant fucking,
What the fuck is that?
Japanese games, rants or whatever,
or something like,
like, okay.
So, we never do obviously,
but the bias for our interest is real and true.
And that we like clearly play a lot more
Japanese games than other than Western games.
Which is quite rare in the LP business, actually.
And then occasionally the real, real, real
snobby elitist asshole versions of us
will start talking about how these Western games
just stop it, stop it, stop it.
Right?
And I'd love for that to happen.
And then it to be like,
it was developed down the street.
It was like right here.
Hey Jean-François, do you have anything to say?
Oh man.
It's not a Japanese game.
It was born here in Montreal.
And the guy's like, what does that mean?
Neptonia.
Oh, it's the Nep.
Yeah, okay.
Nep, Nep.
I don't care about Nep anymore.
Ha ha ha.
Uh.
All right.
Je pas de went le Nep.
That's what's happening over in fucking Quebec City right now.
I see the Nep-Nep.
Oh, I got this.
I'm gonna give the Nep-Nep luck.
I didn't get it, because I'm the Nep.
Is it what's this, Senran, Kaguya?
Oh my.
Kaguya.
Simple.
C'est la vie?
Okay, okay.
I'm gonna take some emails.
That joke's for nobody.
Nobody.
Emails though.
Emails are for somebody.
Ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba ba.
Send your email to superbestfriendcasts at gmail.com.
That's super bestfriendcast at gmail.com.
It might sound like this one email we'll read.
James says they're super...
They're subpar crusaders.
Recently started playing Final Fantasy XV,
and I reached at Lassia.
It's a Venetian-style aesthetic,
reminded me of similar locations in Bayonet.
I'm to Mary Sunshine, Sonico 6,
and I got me wondering,
what's the coolest real-world location to use as a game basis?
To use in a game.
That's a good one.
That's a good one.
Anor Londo's real.
Anor Londo's real.
That's fucking rad.
I can't remember what that place is called.
It's a French castle.
Yeah, that's a good one.
Any place that's very...
It has to be extremely grandiose,
or it has to be really fucking...
like those mining pits,
like the giant one in Russia.
Oh, yeah, those things are nuts.
That would be pretty fucking cool.
I like the opposite of...
It's obvious when a place is so awesome
that you're like, this would be a great place for a setting,
but I like it when you don't think that,
because it's such a normal everyday thing,
and then it turns into a setting,
like Akiba Strip.
Or just going around the realistic metros
like Shin Megami Tensei 4,
like you're at Ueno,
and I'm like, yeah, you've done this.
Then you would love Kamurocho,
and the entire Yakuza series.
The Yakuza series is just that.
Two-lock radius of Shinjuku or Osaka.
Always a good time.
You were there.
You were at the place of Yakuza Zero.
That's fun.
You go look at the LP, and you'll be like,
oh, yeah, that's Dotonbori.
Yeah, those are good settings,
it'd be easy to just say anything from New Zealand.
Just pick a spot.
You've got it.
You've got something.
Oh, you want Moonlit Wilderness?
Yeah, Moonlit Wilderness is right over there.
I should mention Yakuza Kwami 2.
Remember last week where I said we're on the year-long delay?
Yakuza Kwami 2 is coming out in August.
There you go.
So they're catching up,
and the response was enormous.
People were very excited.
That series matters now.
What's new on Holy Versus this week, Willie?
Well, that's right.
Yep.
I got some...
I finished my script.
I saved it, you bitch.
I forget why I was saving it.
Did you hit me with sick burn wise?
I decided to save that.
I said you should have fighters or something like that.
But it was a response burnt to you talking about Daigo.
That's fine.
Oh, I have a different one.
I have a new content that comes out on Holy Versus this week
to get better at fighters.
Oh.
Actually,
you're going to probably get a little bit of a boost then.
Oh, yeah? What's coming out?
Scrub Guides.
Oh, yeah, cool. You're finally done with that Scrub Guides?
Yeah.
I've actually been waiting for that for quite some time.
Yeah.
Hopefully people haven't dropped off.
Is it for DBZ?
DBZ.
Okay, that's actually important.
Never stop going in.
Well, we addressed that.
Yeah, just press the dash button, right?
That's how you do it.
Yeah, that's right.
And then there's another...
There's a big project that...
It has a time limit, we should say.
There's a time limit on one.
Is it the thing that was worked on the other day?
No, no, no, no.
It's just...
There's a large video essay that...
I spoke to somebody and they told me one line from that.
I'm like, oh, it's about that, huh?
Why would it be about that?
No, I don't know what you're talking about, but move on.
Because you lost me.
What's coming up on you?
What are you streaming? Warframe?
I'll stream Monster Hunter on Thursday
because that's when Pickle comes out.
Also, on the channel, there's nothing new
because it's all continuing LPs.
Yes.
It's all Dead to Rights and Coutures,
which Wally's finally playing correctly.
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I can't help it. I'm such an asshole.
Mr. Grypes.
Mr. Grypes.
Probably nothing.
I'll be spending most of my time working on the scenes
in this animation, which, unfortunately,
makes me look like I'm not doing anything at all,
which is kind of the unfortunate nature of animation.
I'll probably be streaming
myself drawing it at some point,
but that's not the same thing.
You have such a silky smooth voice.
I consider the idea of...
I haven't done one long time just showing myself
in a video rather than on stream
working on it and explaining a few things.
I might do that. I don't know.
It depends on how much time I actually have this week.
Other than that,
might record Dark Souls this week,
release one of those for old time's sakes.
Hopefully, not go insane this time,
but no promises.
And that's it.
Are you ready to start from scratch
when the whole thing gets re-released?
I want to be doing that this time. No way.
That would be bad.
Let's see. How much do I have left?
I've got to beat Manus.
That was where I left off last time.
And then I think I have to do...
Oh, God, the aggression.
If you don't know, the thing I'm doing
is randomized items and permaaggression.
I'm still doing it from last year.
Have you seen this, Willie?
I watched a bunch of it.
I've watched a bunch of it. It's so nuts.
It's insane.
And I'm going to be going to
a bit of chaos territory,
unfortunately, is I think
the last area I need to do.
I might have another one to do as well.
I can't remember. I have to think about it later.
So that's going to be a nightmare.
It's going to be a great big nightmare.
So that's what I'm going to be doing.
All right.
I'm killing myself. Slowly.
Yeah, man. Yeah.
You got any creepy furry porn coming out?
Well, I mean, there's no better way
to pay homage to Souls
Yeah, that's the joke.
That is the joke, the one joke.
Oh, man.
There's a compilation
someone made of my prior playthrough.
It's so lazy. It's so tired.
Yeah.
There is a compilation
of my last playthrough.
It's like Play Goes Hollow, playing Dark Souls
or something like that. It's a pretty good compilation.
It's like an hour and something long.
All right. I got to get out
and go do some implicit dance violence.
Yeah, I got to go find your shoes.
Oh, man. I forgot.
You have gum all over the bottom one of your shoes.
Oh, fuck. I hate when that happens.
Look at that. That sucks.
Assholes.
Spit your gum in the fucking trash, jerks.
No.
Oh, is that you? Oh, yeah.
Oh, fuck you, man.
Dude, littering is your most tangible form
of power over your environment.
You are worse than Kratos.
Littering makes dick hard.
Your children will grow up to throw gum.
Good. Wait, what?
Bye.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.