Castle Super Beast - SBFC 243: Waluigi Remains Uncircumcised
Episode Date: April 24, 2018Download for Mobile | Preview Video Girls need a patch. Guys need a reboot. You can watch us record the podcast live on twitch.tv/superbestfriendsplay Outro: MGS Peace Walker OST - Heavens Divide ...Capcom "sunsets" old rehashed Puzzle Fighter franchise, so they can focus on the hotter, fresher IP; Dead Rising. Shoot ’em up Psyvariar Delta announced for PS4, Switch [Update] Konami to release awful new Castlevania game that everyone will hate Quantic Dream sues French media over toxic work condition reports Actress is starring in a Doom movie that no one has announced Kotobukiya’s Green & Eevee Figure Open For Pre-Order OST for Doom by Mick Gordon is getting a sick Vinyl release Platinum Games wants to bring The Wonderful 101 to Switch Face/Off Actor John Travolta says that Fred Durst is "a genius of the highest magnitude" Wave Race producer teases possible series revival Someone decides to let Rob Liefeld draw an official Deadpool 2 poster DeNA and Platinum Games announce samurai action game World of Demons for smartphones
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All right, that's as good as a start as we're going to get.
So, Will, you're a few minutes late today because your phone was out of data?
I'm having a fucking shitty morning, man.
I'm sorry.
That's all.
It's okay.
It's so nice outside.
It is very nice outside.
His phone data went out so he couldn't browse, take memes on the way to work.
That's one thing that happens, so you had to print them out.
It's not the destination, but the journey.
The journey to work is the only part that matters.
You know, yeah, it's every once in a while.
Mondays are not always great.
Looks like somebody's got a bad case of the Mondays.
Yeah.
What the fuck?
Yeah.
Looks like somebody's got a bad case of the mic noise.
Damn it.
Oh, I do.
I knew he was going to bring up something.
I knew he was going to bring up something.
Oh, he's looking at it because that's the fucking, that's the place we're in.
That's the kind of day we're having today, folks.
When will these eyes start darting around?
You know, there's something wrong.
That's the kind of day we're having.
From who?
Oh, fight it.
Fight it.
Yeah.
All right.
Here we go.
This is what we call live fucking.
All right.
Live shit.
Did I fix it?
Live fucking live shit.
Live.
Live.
I'm fixing on the fly.
I think I just fixed it.
Usually there's a tech gremlin under the table that most of you viewers and listeners
can't see.
Yeah.
Some sort of a roady goblin.
That is me.
Oh, your feet then are you under the table?
Are you describing yourself as some form of technical goblin?
Can you hear yourself just fine?
Yeah.
Okay.
Then all right.
I can't for various reasons, but the buzzing is gone.
Oh, man.
We can continue.
What's the deal with buzzing?
Depart.
Aren't there bees in our equipment?
Oh, I'm fucking killing it.
You know, you're killing it when you, when you, you're the one that says you're killing
it.
Yeah.
All right.
You should tell jokes to make yourself seem better.
That's how you know they're good.
That's how you know they're real.
Yeah.
You can't trust the thing that makes you seem cool.
Oh, hell no.
You can't trust the thing that makes you seem cool.
No.
Remember how cool you looked swinging around my golden remote of skyward sword down the
street.
Right.
All those girls were like wooly.
Wow.
Look at this 20 year old technology.
This motion.
Plus girls.
What is it now?
It's 10.
Probably.
I was listening to like some podcasts and basically comedians are pointing out how like sometimes
every once in a while you see a comedian go up and do an act where they are not the punch
line.
You know, they're not the butt of the joke.
They're just the cool person watching the joke happen.
Yeah.
And they like little.
That's not true.
You always, like you can't go far with that.
You can't.
If you're telling a story.
Unless you invert it sometimes.
You're telling a story where you're the cool hero guy.
Just fucking quit.
The comedian.
He just changes it on stage or that I'd say.
But the point is, is that like you can't be the cool guy and make that work.
That's why.
That's why.
The story.
I'm not sure for there yet in Tokyo Mirage Sessions with a story of me going to that
that apartment to sign a re-upper.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
Transfer.
Yeah.
I finish off with that story.
I'm like, so then the girl was on the bed and saying, I'm so tired.
Yeah.
I had back and I ran the fuck out of there because I was so scared.
So then I stood up up from the Metro and went, oh no, I got to go buy Marvel.
It's midnight.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I got to get out of here.
If you go.
You can't tell that story.
If you go to work and you're like, yeah, so I bang those two girls and I never got Marvel.
No one applauds that.
In fact, everyone hates you.
In fact.
You'd be so less famous.
Resentment will follow you to your days instead of like laughing mockery.
Here you go.
I mean, look at Marvel.
It's doing awesome now.
Yes.
It was so worth it.
Yeah.
Girls are doing terribly all across the board.
Girls are down in the market.
Marvel's going up, up, up.
Yep.
You know, that last release Girls Infinite wasn't a great idea.
They still haven't released a balance patch for that.
That's rough.
Man.
All we wanted was Girls 4.
Yeah.
I know.
It's not bringing in good stream numbers, Willie.
That is a lie.
Yeah.
Girls are bringing in the best stream numbers ever.
That was true.
Girlfight would be doing phenomenally.
Look, it's just weird that we have these these issues with the visuals and the graphics
considering the tech nowadays.
Yeah.
Right.
You'd think they'd have the ability to like deliver something we'd expect.
But you know, I hear Marvel wanted the girls to look worse.
Yeah.
So they forced that to happen.
It's a shame about girls because like every month they have to release that new patch to
try to smooth everything over.
I really usually once a month.
Look, I hope the franchise doesn't stop here.
Yeah.
That's all I'm trying to say.
Yeah.
There's so much more they could give.
We don't need to.
I don't want to reboot like 10 years from now.
You know, like we were still here.
We're still looking for it.
I just want to see girls on the main stage at Evo.
That's all I'm trying to say.
Yeah.
You know, I've completely lost like this made sense until a point and then everything
after the fucking stream thing is just total nonsense to me.
Guys need a reboot.
Oh, boy.
At the bottom, we could so that we get guys 2019 brackets because you wouldn't you wouldn't
call it like like guys reloaded or anything.
No, but or the guys, but they are getting reboots.
It's just not for us.
Yeah.
We're the we're the second impact of guys.
Oh, they got better after us.
No, they way better way, way better.
But we introduced some good ideas.
Oh, the music was really good now on stage.
We introduced some cool ideas that never click the update button ourselves.
No, no, but we had the balls to like, you know, shake things up a little bit.
But we were in the end, just not mechanically developed.
And they didn't quite figure it out.
But they got there later.
I could use some rebalancing on some of these mechanics.
Too many systems.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what they need?
We need we need the test.
We need the guy test to come out so we can see how the girls
or whoever and he goes with it for a little bit.
And if it does well, yeah, then we'll release the real guys.
Then we'll release Guy Plus.
But you got to recalibrate it every time you point it.
OK, we're going to put out the guys test.
But then after that, you're going to get guys umbrella chronicles.
It's not going to be what you wanted.
Yeah, yeah, that's sad.
And you know, everyone's going on about like, OK, we're just
everyone's going on.
It's a five.
Are you fucking down?
I'm saying I'm saying that like all we've really wanted,
even though Girls Infinite was a flop.
Uh-huh. And we all wanted Girls 4.
What we actually want is just Girls All-Stars battle.
Yes. Right.
You don't need to go and deal with others.
You just were you have such millionaires fighting in 2019.
You have such an iconic line.
What you're saying is that most of the roster is chuffed.
And needs to be thrown out.
I'm saying that there's some awesome gems that we can just focus on
because these have been beloved for years.
We don't need to go and deal with all this outside.
What does that mean, Wally?
What do you want?
You're going to go dig up skeletons, Marilyn Monroe or some shit?
Because they're still using a lot of the old animations
from the last round of girls. That's what I'm saying.
We need fresh new models.
We don't need Marvel anymore.
Just add more to the roster.
I'm not saying get rid of them.
That's all of them are warm and comforting and they smell good.
Is this a brainstorming session for your next set?
Yeah, maybe.
Sometimes they wear your clothes.
So yeah, sometimes it feels OK.
Well, weird.
Those are my clothes.
Don't wear them.
They don't even fit.
All right.
What do we got next?
I don't know. How do we?
What is this?
There's a microphone in front of me.
What did you do this week?
I used to be with it, but now what I'm with isn't it.
And what's it is new and disturbing.
Weird and scary. Weird and whatever.
I tried. It'll happen to you.
I'm too old to remember the full quote.
You know what?
All right, what happened to you this week?
Yeah, man. How's your how's your morning?
Tell us about your morning.
No, no, there's just lots of shit that's not great.
Tell me about watching all the God of War cut scenes.
Yeah, this week there was
you son of a bitch this week.
There was a well, here, here, here's this.
How's this? Yeah, I finished Legend of Galactic Heroes.
Oh, wow.
The 110 episodes, there's still the spin off side story
guide in extra advances to go through.
And you did the main quest.
I did the main quest and it was excellent.
It was beyond excellent.
It didn't shit itself right at the end.
It doesn't shit itself at the end.
I think your tweet was like a lot of people have been telling me
or like one person has been telling you like this is peak anime.
Anime. Yeah.
And you're like, no.
Then you watched it, then you're like, I hate, you know,
you hate to tell everybody, go watch the fucking best thing ever.
And then they go, this is not the best thing.
Because it's not for everybody.
All right, it's definitely not.
But if it is for you, it's one of the best fucking versions of that.
Oh, you're just down with this and you like it.
It's for you. I thought you were going to say it's not for everybody.
There are stupid people out there and it's not for them.
I'm saying I'm saying that if if like late 80s, early 90s,
clean space opera is for you, like undiluted genre.
You understand? Like there's no hybrid.
This is clean, pure space opera prime.
Then you absolutely have got to watch this because like I said, I can't.
The old like, you know, I was going on like,
there's no flaws in the show type of thing.
There's one and that it's the the fourth intro,
the last intro of it is is awful, awful English.
And it's like, amazing.
So what you're saying, painful English.
So what you're saying is that it has no flaws.
Yeah, says that's exactly what I'm saying, because that's awesome.
And it comes off of a third intro that is like like an actual native singer
that's doing a really good job.
And the last one is just like, oh, boy, we're going to have to skip past.
Is it like fucking? What was it called?
Dirty Boy, whatever the fuck the the second?
Oh, don't know. Can't talk to a tough boy, tough boy, tough boy.
That thing sucks.
Yeah, this is way worse.
But in any case, I really do think that.
Oh, there you go. Now I can hear myself properly.
I can't hear anything.
I lied. Yeah.
If you're if you're if you can if you can deal with that little English.
But but also some people are curious.
A lot of these times to go to go, I want to go here.
This thing, if you're going in cold, there's spoilers you're going to watch
by clicking that play button. Oh, don't go watch the last intro of the show.
Oh, of course. Just just putting that out there
because I know curiosity standing over somebody's grave type thing.
Shit. So don't.
Unless you don't get a 110 episodes like shit has happened.
If you don't want to throw your year, you think if your enemies, 12 episodes.
Yeah, chances are unlikely that they'll be.
It is. But it is on the level of put your grasses on.
Nothing will be wrong.
It's on that level. Yeah. OK.
Yeah. Yeah. You say like that now, then that might not be.
I'm going to go watch that intro. Yeah, it's it's on.
I'm watching the intro right now.
But yeah, and I've still got to go check out the again.
There's these side stories and then there's the new new series that just got
announced, which the art style makes me a little bit nervous,
considering how much I got used to what we were just because an old man.
Well, no, the old style is cool.
The new one looks weird to me because it's like
shined up in a way that I don't know if I like, but I've got to I've got to
actually see it. Oh, no. Oh, God.
I started watching videos on my phone.
Don't do it.
But legend of the galactic heroes is
like it's legendary.
Like I got to wait.
I got to wait for I got to wait for it to settle inside in a way.
But it's sitting as high up there in my fucking esteem like chart,
whatever rankings as you can get.
Your anime palace.
It's so just fucking pure and good.
And like it has really interesting
political and philosophical discussions.
It has really interesting like proposals about those things I discussed
really because usually that era, the philosophical discussions
always go to war is bad.
It's an analogy for the atom bomb.
Oh, man, no, we're way beyond that.
Like I like I think I introduced the the the core conflict of
like what is worse, absolute corrupt dictatorship
or our absolute corrupt
democracy versus benevolent autocracy.
Right. And you're like, you're, you know, democracy is the right thing.
But and then you and you push these like you just play Fallout in Vegas.
You push these theoretical boundaries to their limits and you address them.
And I know that other literature and such have addressed these things like over
the years, but it doesn't matter till it's anime anime.
Always the voice that the world follows.
And of course, this is off of a book series that like it got adapted.
Right. I ask you.
So anime anime.
I saw somebody a while ago.
Oh, who the fuck was it?
It was some Russian filmmaker who was talking about adapting war and peace into a movie.
And how he had how he had how he there's a quote by Hitchcock saying,
you can't do that. That shit's too hard.
And look, and he's in the interview goes, and I said to Hitchcock, fuck you, old man,
you can't tell me what to adapt.
And then I tried to make it.
It was much too hard.
He should have made an anime instead.
That would have solved the anime is the adaptation solution.
Well, here, what's better when you're discussing all these like these topics
that I just introduced than also having them discussed by the prettiest of
Bishonin's, you're right.
And the manliest of men.
And that's correct.
The whole and then then then all kinds of characters, the whole rainbow,
the whole rainbow of character types of guys and gals that you you like.
Pick your favorite.
You know, they do the nice giant cast for you.
They sprawl out which one's the Ignis?
Which Ignis?
FF 15 Ignis.
Oh, uh, who's got who's got the glasses?
Uh, who's the gin?
There's this anime sucks because you can't answer that question.
Because it's a little bit.
It's not quite that clear.
Glasses, though, doesn't matter what their personality type is.
Just who's how many Sailor Moon's doesn't have running with the bread in their mouth.
This is this is pre-person collecting, correcting themselves with the glasses.
Like they that.
That's yeah, that's not there.
I don't understand.
There's no nerdy glasses type first pushing up.
Maybe they maybe they fix eyeballs in the future of Legend of Galactic.
Everyone got laser eye search.
Yeah, everyone.
There is a really interesting character called Oberstein,
who's like approach to these these these people going to war in space
with their pride and their honor.
And this guy like basically goes about things in a really like like despicable.
But so pragmatic way that you're like,
you have no fucking honor, you're gross, but you're so right.
And it's one of those things early.
I think it's a character.
I can't explain more without going into spoilers.
But it's a character who basically always does the thing that is like,
I have to do the thing that'll save the most lives, no matter how gross it'll be.
But it's going to be big gross.
But it's going to be gross.
But the end result I have to sacrifice as long as I save the most in the end.
If I get everyone goes, oh, you fuck.
Fifty one percent saved is a success.
If I have to murder forty nine percent myself, it's it's fucking great.
So yeah, a mathematician.
Yeah, yeah, there's some good stuff in there.
And I yeah, I just I can't push it hard enough to do that.
Yeah, man, there's listen, me going through God of War is the good.
Yeah, well, yeah, I rewatch I rewatch that include the the PSP Spinoff.
I rewatched all of one just to refresh myself because, like I said,
I played that and then I went through two, three ghost of Sparta.
And you now know more than me on some of those.
And what's the other one?
Chains of a change of Olympus.
Yeah, all of it.
And minus the mobile game or whatever.
There's a mobile game.
Yeah, I didn't know that.
Yeah, there's some sort of about Ascension.
No, yeah, Ascension as well.
OK, absolutely. Yeah.
The three prequels.
That's too many prequels.
Yeah, there's just as many prequels as there are main games.
Yeah, I mean, and to like to be fair,
the PSP ones are extraordinarily short.
Yeah, they are.
They're like I finished Ghost of Sparta.
It was short, but it was they're like two hours.
You know, they're more than two hours.
Well, when you're watching the cut scenes, you know, like four minutes.
You can like, yeah, I'm saying those were those were two hours of story
and whatever, but there was one of them that was like a full playthrough.
I saw your summary of it being Kratos is the worst.
The gods are the worst.
It's all the worst.
Every every yep.
Yep. So the whole thing has been like more or less.
So it's it's just the defenders break down into multiple camps and like,
oh, boy, they're they're they're, you know, the recent episodes.
They're having fun. All right.
Yeah, everyone's having fun.
Ever. Everyone's having fun.
Everyone's opinions, funds, big, fun opinions are flying high.
But at the end of the day, ultimately, you have you have a couple of different
camps and some of them break down into you guys are acting like the gods
are blameless and it's like, yeah, they're they're fucking shits, too.
They're not good.
This is a story where absolutely everyone is a shit except for Pandora
and everyone's no, she's not great.
What everyone's everyone's solutions to solving their problems
is to just be further shits.
Yeah.
It's just unlikeable, the franchise.
What one one underlining the hateable the IP is that I really
like Greek mythology in general, like God of War made me get kind of sick of it.
And if you told like 12 year old me, you're going to get sick of Greek mythology.
I'd throw you into the labyrinth with the minotaur to die because I'd be like, no,
because you're a huge liar.
But like it did like you've exhausted all of the cool shit.
And in Ascension, I'm just like bugs.
That's the evil force.
Oh, is it bugs?
It's bugs for a good while.
I didn't beat the game, but it's bugs.
Well, Assassin's Creed represents another thing with his like appeal from history.
No, I'm saying I would love to fight bugs.
I'm saying you can get tired of anything.
Anything cool can become tiring.
It's over saturated.
But like also about like Greek apologies, like not everyone is like perfect.
But at least there's a few guys you can point to like he was a fucking hero.
Yeah.
And in God of War, there is no hero.
No hero hero.
No.
And and and they even took guys like Heracles and turned them into a dumb brute,
even though Heracles is kind of a jackass in his own right.
Yeah.
And like in some of the times when we were having discussions about like,
like I remember I would use the word camera to describe.
Not the actual in game camera, but the viewpoint of the viewer and the viewpoint of the people
making the thing.
Right.
And that would get misconstrued sometimes as well as you mean.
Do you mean like storytelling?
So Matt and I were talking about this right before you came in.
Yeah.
And we're talking about like the fact that it was those Kratos was defined by two completely
different studios.
And in one of those studios, he was defined by two completely very different people being
David Jaffe and Corey Barlog.
And then Matt found out that like, even then it was directed by a new person.
Every single game.
Oh, each game.
Every single game is directed by a completely different guy.
Like there's this weird situation where like I didn't play Ghost of Sparta,
but apparently Ghost of Sparta like radically changes some of Kratos' motivations.
Yeah.
There's a real, so there's a real like a funny part where like,
because you go through the whole, the whole story, right?
And whatnot.
And like in all the parts that happened after one and even before and such,
like there's things where you're going like,
well, nobody back then cared about killing innocent people.
It wasn't whatever, right?
It was just that's how the things were.
But it's like, and then it's like that.
So that's why Kratos just doesn't give a fuck about whoever he's fighting.
If they're not like his kin or such.
And then it gets to one of the prequels has a thing where it's like,
it actually gets the point where it specifies.
It's like, no, no, we wanted you to specifically make a blood sacrifice
where you had to kill your enemies, your kin and innocence, right?
That was a specific type of spell that we wanted to cast on you or whatever.
But at a point when he's got to do a thing,
he's got to fucking stab a guy or whatever.
And he goes like, he literally has a line where he goes,
I've done enough killing of innocent people.
And this is four games before he murders literally the world.
But before the world, a ton of like, you know what I mean?
And like he actually, but it became because it's the prequel that comes later.
He has a moment of saying, I'm done with killing innocent.
And it's like, you have, it's your, you couldn't be further.
It's this totally bizarre thing where it went,
game, prequel, game, prequel, game, prequel, game, prequel.
Yeah.
Reboot, right?
And so the way you're supposed, I'm doing huge air quotes.
The way you're supposed to read the character's growth is in game order,
but not chronologically.
But when you take it in game, chronologically, all of a sudden,
there's these weird.
Jumping up and down.
Massive regressions.
It's, yeah, it's very, very, you know, and like, it's still amounts to like,
I've got to go kill that fucking Aries, right?
But also Athena was involved from the time when I was a kid.
And oh God, it was all shit, right?
It's all shit.
It's more like a Greek tragedy than Greek mythology.
Well, if it's like everyone gets fucked over,
if the first game ended with him casting himself off the highest mountain
and dying, then you would have put a nice little bow tie on it and called it a day.
And then you could have made one prequel, right?
But it was, yeah, but so yeah, the attempt becomes, it's like,
okay, we have Kratos act like this and da, da, da, da.
Let's, let's make him more sympathetic by dumping all over him in the prequels.
Just have everything bad happen to him in the world even before.
Yeah.
All that or and then the fact that like killing anybody doesn't really kill them
because like Athena can just show up and be your friend again and Zeus can just pop out
with Kratos as a God.
And when he dies, he goes to Hades and can just leave three times.
You can leave Hades three times and you can go just show with your daughter.
She's hanging out right there.
But the God of, but Hades can't do that.
And there's the point where you actually find her and you push her away
and then you got to go kill everything to save the place where she's at.
But then you could have just went back there and hung out whenever you wanted.
It's like death is weird in that story.
Why weird being non-existent?
It's a weird game because I can like give out about this shit all day.
But then I'll be like, oh, man, when you fought Atlas, it was so fucking cool.
That was a mate.
Like, and even in my head, I'm like, there were some moments that were like
to this day still jaw dropping, especially on God of War two.
Because it was that came out in 2007.
It was.
It came out like three months after the PS3 came out.
Yeah, something like that.
So I was just like amazed at that game.
That game is radical.
One of the biggest and like most vague fucking retcons I've ever seen
or him is the introduction of the Furies.
And yes, how their their whole deal is making sure that like your oath stay true.
Yeah.
But also it's because they want to conspire to overthrow Olympus.
So they're doing this whole thing where truth is being kept from Kratos.
And it basically explains a way that he's being he's being shown fake visions
throughout his entire life everywhere.
And that like the blood drunkenness of him going to war is literally eyeball magic.
That makes him not see things.
Yeah.
So when he went into that temple and pushed the old woman aside,
he theoretically was not seeing.
It's one of those things that I got into like I got into this mood
where I was reading people talking like, no, it doesn't directly say it implies.
It's not fair to Kratos because he was mind controlled or some shit when he did that.
Or they put them there.
And then I went back and I watched all the God of War one stuff and went,
where is this shit?
And the answer is it was added in two and it was implied in two.
So the race to cover up the.
That's when you fight the barbarian king on the horse.
And you go to have that bit of gameplay that's in the past past.
Yeah.
Like even before when his skin is even like powdery,
but he's not looking like fucking powder.
Right.
But but the thing with that is that like everyone got to that point in one and went,
what he did it himself.
It was what kind of fucking idiot am I playing as right?
And that works perfectly in the context of one.
And you're looking at but and then it cuts back like eight
moments to the single shot of Kratos going.
X X cutting his fam.
Right.
The cameras hovering above his super fucking hard day.
And then and then and then you know what it cuts right to afterwards is the stupid
old lady going every time.
It's the same FMV cut sequence.
Right.
Rushing back.
Yeah.
She lifts her hands up and goes.
It's super stupid.
I want that woman to show up in my life at some point.
Just do that.
I'm like, oh, what happened?
Reboot was so required.
Everyone saw that and fucking just they were what's the gobsmacked at how dumb that was.
I've been God's man.
And so everyone like afterwards with all the sequels and such race to put these things in
the way that were like, OK, so first Ares put them in the in the place and it was an Athenian city.
But so he put them where they shouldn't have been so he couldn't have known.
But also there was this world magic where he couldn't see it.
It's this weird thing where the right the character was written for.
Hold on.
Oh, there's more.
Right.
Then he put the world magic so his eyeballs couldn't even see what was happening and they
were out of place where they shouldn't have been.
They should.
Why were they there?
Why were they there?
Furthermore, they made a thing where he was on such a blood drunk rage where they created
they made his mind that way.
Yeah, they made him crazy.
They made his mind want to do and it's like it's it's not his fault.
It's not his fault.
It's not.
No, no, because it's the dumbest thing that like you've ever seen in that first game
and you just got a race to fucking cover that stupid shit up.
So my biggest problem with that is that all of that that dumbest thing you've ever seen
is perfect for the end of God of War One.
Like that game's story and all of the stupid shit or blameless or blameful things that
Kratos does are perfect and are great when like within the context of that one story.
Because no matter because no matter how dumb it is at the end he goes man fuck this and he's
and then he's miserable.
Yeah.
And it's like it's a real Greek tragedy.
But then the game was super, super big and it's like well we have to keep this guy going.
So he still has to be mad.
So he's got to have something to be pissed off at.
But but we established that our character is like an idiot.
So you took you took away the fact that he was going to end it all.
And so now he's just left with damn I don't even want to be here.
And it's your fault.
So fuck everything.
And then we get all the way to the end where God of War Three ends pretty much the same way as
God of War One does.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And and they're like we're going to take this whole episode as like a little microcosm
when I say whole episode I mean the entire God of War series.
As of like oh man maybe this was not worth it.
Like almost breaking bad levels.
But it also ends really conclusively.
So I'm interested in seeing like what whatever we walked it off.
I'm not sure if you guys talked about this before but you might be missing a little component.
You might have forgotten or you might have forgotten.
But like David Jaffe was like the brainchild of the first game.
The first game 100 percent.
Yeah.
All him.
Yes.
So if you beat God of War One like the hardest difficulty and shit you unlocked an extra ending.
Yeah.
That implies Kratos' brother is the next story point plot point.
David Jaffe leaves.
Well what the fuck did we do?
What did he want to do?
I don't know.
Was it actually Demos.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But it was like the devil and he was like a cursed Greek or something like that.
They abandoned that storyline and they just made God of War Two and they're like shit.
No.
We don't know what that was about.
How much did they show of him?
Do you remember?
It was like it was like concept art.
Okay.
It was very little.
But it was like a story bit there.
It's like yeah we might this is this might be what we're continuing with or we made the future.
Or just an ultimate idea.
And then in the story Bar-Law comes back in Ghost of Sparta and just ties that loose end up.
I guess.
He gets rid of that because Demos is in the.
Demos is fine.
Yeah.
Demos is actually fine.
He probably should have done just to avoid all the shit we're complaining about.
They probably should have gone with that story thread a bit more for the main games and avoided
like bringing Kratos back and making him dumberer and then smarter again and then dumberer
and then dumberer and then dumberer and now we're back to smarter again.
But yeah.
New Kratos is much more intelligent than all Kratos.
Love him.
Boy.
He's trying his best.
But it just just like he is.
But do you know how I described to you guys when I watched the Bourne trilogy?
I watched them all in one sitting.
Oh jeez.
Right.
No I don't.
I watched the Bourne trilogy before the fourth one all in one sitting and I went these are all
these are movies are fine but boy they're not meant to be watched next to each other.
No.
Whoa.
The the God of.
Because they're the same fucking movie.
The God of War one two and three in particular are exactly the same like basic structure and
they assumed you played them on release and kind of forgot about space them out specific details
because oh boy anytime Kratos is standing at a cliff you're going to do the little foot thing.
Oh he does the foot thing you know and like yeah again how many God's names can you shout
out in what particular way but it was very it was it was it was very very old of them to him
not get Zeus at the end of two that was interesting that was interesting.
Dude all the like it just does a lot of again it's all the worst but there's the weird shit is
the shit where you go back to like again Athena gets fucking killed and then just like I am back
fine and then Zeus is like he gets killed and he's like yeah I'm back totally fine but then
what about the other gods of Olympus?
Well they're dead but okay they have any extra lives.
They didn't learn how to do the Force ghost power.
I completely forgot that bit that you mentioned where you're like in the first game he's like
oh I cannot kill anymore innocence.
This is later in the main first game this is a man who like when he looks at people
they're just red orbs or health power-ups or health power-ups that are ready to get slashed
so you he can get a little extra XP or hell.
Yeah no this is again this is like like end of ascension which is pre pre first game
or like like like in the early moments.
Which one is actually the first?
Ascension I don't know but I know that ascension is the one that deals with
his oath being broken for the first time.
I'm going to assume that the logic goes that the prequels are sequential to each other
and so it goes Olympus Sparta.
Hold on hold on hold on no ghost of Sparta takes place after he's killed Ares because
really because he's already on the throne when he starts getting visions of his brother and his
mom.
Wow so ghost of Sparta is not it's a prequel to two.
How come he went so nuts in two?
It's one point five.
It's one point five ghost of Sparta is one point five and then the other two and then
ascension and yeah whatever changes.
What a fucking mess!
What is this kingdom hearts?
At least you only need to own two systems all three.
It feels like ascension is first I didn't you know confirm but it feels like it's first
because like the end of that is him going like the chain is broken that I can now finally start
thinking about getting mad about Ares.
There's something that some but it but like the guy that helps you in that there's a moment
where it's like okay to make everything work to break your your bonds and to be finally free
to get mad to think about maybe killing Ares one day you have to kill me and he goes oh I don't
want to do it and then he's like no you got to do it though.
I do not kill Ares and that's literally what he says.
He goes I'm done killing innocence and it's like this is before the fucking entire franchise
goes on this is before we get to our climax of gateholding.
This is you know kicking the the captain down the Hydra's throat.
This is the read the pages bam bam bam read him read you know like all of that shit pre that
he goes I'm done killing him.
I saw I'm gonna call out I'm gonna call out a really really specific person here
I forget their name but it was talking about how see Kratos it was the it was the proof that
Kratos in three is not a psycho murderer right and it was look he didn't kill Hera until she
kept taunting him and taunting him yeah and then she said as she called Pandora Slut or something
she called Pandora a whore and and he snapped her neck then so I mean it's not like he it's
not like he wasn't trying not to kill her I'm like what Pandora the character that by the way
he brushes off super hard just the whole game until like her dad is like you need her to open
up that gate so you can take your big huge revenge so she you need to go find the kid so she can die
in that fire to unlock the gate right he's like out for the box so until until then she's like
help me please and he's like get the fuck out of my face kid and then literally you're popping up
multiple times like get the fuck I don't give a shit about you kid and then again dad goes
no you need her to open the box so you can kill Aries big huge and then he goes oh I gotta find
her so and then his worry his voice turns worry a lot by the end he's kind of like oh I care a lot
of the writing in three like I want to say that they went for they wanted to go for Kratos is
softening up or getting tired because he cares about her by the end right like it's it's like he's
starting his his his rage boner is starting to wear off and he's starting to get real tired
yeah the Viagra's starting to wear off but the way that it's actually portrayed makes all of those
actions come off as based off of spite yeah like him him with Pandora it feels like he's actually
just spiteful when I think about a war three I don't think of him protecting or caring about her
even if he does I just forget when Kratos kills himself to give hope to the world that doesn't
that doesn't fucking read like I'm gonna I'm gonna make good on everything it reads like
fuck you Athena do you remember how that shot was by the way no I don't when he does that right
Athena is standing there as her ghost form and he picks up the sword of Olympus and he goes
and he's holding it to do the charge that he does whenever he stabs somebody with it
and she goes are you gonna seriously kill me again and he goes oh and then it rotates and
does a fake out and then he turns it back to him and goes uh so even that moment fake is framed as
fuck you I'm gonna oh you didn't see it coming did you oh this this story needed to reboot real bad
it needed to switch to um uh what you call it Egypt or uh Norse earlier earlier on I thought
in my head boy but that's what happens when people like Ezio yeah that's what happens when people
it's Ezio's fault really gotta wear predates this so still is it's everything and everyone is awful
it's just the worst also it's like in context like it seems to like we can't fix Kratos so
let's make everyone deserving of his hatred well what was funny is like as I was watching it and
like my girl's walking around in the background going like so what's she's just pointing at the
TV like so what what's what's so you're watching that slasher game again and the killer goes around
killing people and there's a moment where I was like okay but like are there any friends or allies
and I'm like yes but there is not a single one that you don't end up murdering he likes the
actual Spartan soldiers he means yes the Spartans the Spartans they die hard that's his that's his
guys yeah yeah yeah he did they hit those those guys he gives them the respect before they die
but anyone else like literally if you're an ally and you're an ally until you go I was using you
or you have to kill me you're an ally until Kratos recognizes that that bracelet you're
wearing opens the gate or or like okay it's it's hard to parse the video game stuff like this is
cool for a video game yeah and the kids will love this but also trying to sort of give nuance and
character and like you to like their main character of like all right Helios is beating you up and
it's hard it's rough to beat him too you beat him right you could just probably beat him or just stab
him in the chest but it's like do you really need to see in the dark that bad that you need to rip
his head off and just so it can be a flashlight also the entire chains of Olympus game is about
saving Helios because the Sun fell down and the and his his horses before the this is before
the three or you're ripping his head off like you had to do the whole thing but yeah you know
anyway yeah Aphrodite made it out right um they never should have been prequels they all should
have been more like ascension and and god chains of Olympus should have been like because I didn't
realize like I played it and I beat it I just forgot that Ghost of Sparta was 1.5 they all should
have been 1.5 2.5 and well maybe they could have 358 over today they could have pulled the Dark
Siders with it and just like swapped two different characters entirely talked about this now kids
love Kratos yeah I'm thinking back and switch the lore entirely the part of the LP is up now
where a character goes and punches Kratos in the face very very very early in in the new game
and Kratos goes get out what what a fucking jump what a fucking enormous jump from the old character
we've made some progress because he's like that I was thinking about it after we finished recording
it might that moment more than anything else shows that like boy he's real tired of this huh but it's
also an archetype like it's also the grizzled man that's tired of killing it's Logan it's like every
guy from every western ever can't kill anymore yeah like Unforgiven Tombstone or whatever it's there
but I like it on Kratos he wears it good yeah absolutely because it's I guess I'll close it off
and say that like yeah based on one you had a character that was one dimensional approaching
two yeah approaching two and then as soon as the sequel starts it's like no you rip that away
you're back and then they did this weird thing where they're like well let's add dimensions but
they kept adding them from bizarre angles so you just have this fucked up trapezoid but then
they all turn back into rage yeah so you really just like like the dimension exists but then it
melts and becomes like a line again and then a single point and it all turns back into a dot of
rage yeah anyway um it's hard to sustain a character like a single character in video games and it'd
be a successful one over a long period of time Nintendo gets away with it because it's like
I'm Samus I don't talk that much and look what happens when you let her talk a shitload you know
Mario works because it's who cares you know you know Zelda works because we jump oh because it's
always a different character yeah yeah why can't it be a different Kratos I have I don't think anyone
else can pull that off now that Zelda's been doing it I have a I have a different problem for Kratos
which was like built into him at the start and there was no way for Cory Balrog or anybody
else to fix it until this new one which is the the whole god of war is a game about a goal
and it's the name of the game the name of the game is god of war what's your goal kill the god of
war or be the god of war the instant you do that and then you decide more game uh oh yeah right
right yeah yeah because everything in that game is built around well why does you want to kill a
god of war yeah one no one dimension it's rage it's a dot it's a dot that's what it is and then
as you zoom out on that one dimensional dot it turns into an asshole and it's looking at you
and it's filled with rage and that's what you're staring at and it's farting rage at you I've been
looking at it the whole time you one eyeball you didn't know wink wink DCS was a bitch who is it
that he fucking it was a Perseus which one the one that dies with a golden place and Kratos is
just like what a bitch oh Jason oh that comes at the door what a bitch where they fight at the door
yeah yeah yeah they fight at the door just finds his armor like Jason had gotten there like weeks
or days before and he's like oh he got killed by a fucking Serbus what a dumb dumb and then
the and I remember you guys you guys were telling me about you're telling me about Hercules before
too and Hercules comes out and he's just like oh man you're so cool Kratos you know who's voiced
by right who disappointed oh that was Kevin Serbo okay yeah well putting hercules slash
Heracles in a fucking god of war storyline is hilarious because like everything Hercules
says in that scene is completely accurate it's like I had to fucking clean out all these stables
and bullshit no no the most accurate lines in all of the fucking games are um the uh uh uh god
dude with the um uh not accurate shit Daedalus dude with the with the boots boots Hermes Hermes
is he's running around and taunting you like an asshole right as the flash and he's and you're
chasing him and he's being a dick but everything he's saying is the truth yeah it's like he's calling
him out on being like oh you're cuz like you he's saying you caused your own problems they gotta
give his lines to the fast guy that Kratos can't hit because of those slow ass dudes I was like I
was I was legit marking out while he was running from him because Kratos was so mad because he was
so right yeah I'm taunting you and being annoying and like whoo but the words I'm saying are undeniably
the truth and you have no records oh Hermes we're just gonna fucking kill you and cut your legs off
I think it's a god of war to remit Perseus who's like in a temple and you have that cool fight I think
he has the the spear maybe um and they got the actor that played Perseus in Clash of the Titans
the 1981 version that's awesome with the stop motion animation like they don't need to do this
shit that's some of the things that got a war like the original is I was like that's cool what
can I what do I possibly say yeah sure you got the cool you got the most accurate person you could
ever do uh voice that character I actually that reminds me it's completely unrelated but I was
really I was watching some old uh gymquisition about uh fucking what was it about voice acting
and deep in those comments it was a tiny factoid that blew me away which was that for doom the
actually went and found doom guy from doom they dug him out to do the grunts and groans
and args that's for the new doom that's it that's pretty it's a fucking great no uh just this really
not really related to voice acting shed just this weekend why did this voice sound familiar
I was playing the darkness too mm oh it's the voice of BJ Blazkowicz in the new Wolfensteins
wow that's cool that's an oh he was the voice of fucking Alex Shepard in Silent Hill as well
Alex Shepard is BJ Blazkowicz heard my head weird uh cool good voice actor good range yeah yeah
yeah but uh yeah he asked from bad range to good range the only thing difference in the darkness
that he puts on like a new yorkish thing I don't like the darkness to his accents is it easy is he
playing uh what is his name darkness boy jack yes katato I don't care for his two accent it's
really strong and I like it of course you do you love that shit from New York so what did you do uh
I was I was tween about a little bit but I watched started and finished agretsuko which is uh the
new cartoon anime whatever it's the little red panda woman that works in an office and listens
to death metal to get across all her anger because you can't yell at anyone in her office because
she's in japan and you can't complain about your job in japan I remember seeing clips from those
yeah no it was really fun I watched the um I watched the dub of it I think it's been out in
japan for a while it's like a little uh nine episode series they're like 15 minutes long and
they're really really fun they did a good job with the localization and it's just her like
a boss just going oh get me oolong tea and he's like a big pig man and she's just like
and they work a day data entry what an accounting so she's just like the most soulless soul crushing
job ever yes it's like oh women should only get me tea and she's like she goes to the karaoke bar
and then just it has the most legitist metal songs ever
then rap starts coming into it and they all start all the characters start winding up at this
karaoke bar she meets like these two high class uh women they're at almost at the top of the food
chain they're the marketing girls one of them is called gory and she's a gorilla woman of course
and she's in this tight little pink dress and the other one is uh washinie washinie and it's like
a peacock woman or whatever one of them is voiced by terra terra plat I think um and they're just like
girl you need to like do this and do that and she's just too nice when she's there and the
only time she gets her aggression out agretzuko you must be cutthroat in business yeah uh and it
made me go through a gamut of emotions where I was like yeah yeah get together I'm like oh wait no
no they'll wait this isn't what I want because characters meet with other characters and
there's romance afoot and she looks like a sanrio character that's because she is oh they even have
a joke about that whether they're like they're we're this big like leopard guys like they're
going out on singles night so it's everyone that's single in the office gets then all these animals
get plastered all the time they're always drinking of course they were drinking no okay they're they're
a little more foul mouth than than hello kitty okay it in the sense that like they're just the
regular people they're just happen to be animals and um one of them goes oh my god you're so adorable
you look like a sanrio character uh and she's like oh really huh that's funny um but i but i
assume they keep it arm's length based on it not being like totally for kids you know yeah no no
okay um it's not like you're walking by hello kitty on a street corner no no um and it's really
because it's really really based in japan like they're talking about specific train lines they take
like how about that fucking shibuya line oh oh i don't know man yeah so uh it was really really
fun from start to finish and like yeah they're 15 minutes long the last episode is a whopping 18
minutes wow but yeah i really enjoyed it i hope there's like more or whatever i don't know if it's
a success but i don't know it's like sanrio have anything other than hello kitty like are there
other no i characters i don't know wait is sergeant frog uh sanrio sergeant karoro is not
this is not satirical ropy uh karo p m isn't he i'm pretty well i wait is that keratin am i
thinking oh no it's no no no the cute little frog the cute little frog i was a little sure
what's the thing in fucking metal gear that's that that was its own thing you're thinking of ape
escape nah man no those little keratin frogs you shot in metal gear i thought that was a sanrio
thing maybe um yeah i'm losing it yeah you are anyway anyway caropy yes yes but not uh i don't
know what else no that's all he said maya the b no uh aside from that i also watched a phantom
thread which i wanted to watch for a while it's the daniel day lewis i'm a fashion designer 1950s
england and the trailers were all like phantom thread and he's like you on my new muse please
wear dresses for me then the show's an eyeball really close to a keyhole looking through it
and then there's like something insidious looking at i was like oh shit from the director of um
there will be blood paul thomas anderson the good one good one okay and i'm like i love
there will be blood and i'm watching and i start to watch this with me and i'm really and she's
like this must be really good right i'm like yeah yeah and we're watching and i'm like he meets this
girl and um that's the movie like absolutely no what really good performances there's actually
some good lines where i'm like whoa that's holy shit i have to remember that or whatever but like
he meets a girl then she's just like yeah it sucks hanging out with you and he's like it also
sucks hanging out with you i'm gonna design some dresses and she's like okay do that well man he's
ignoring me and then this this guy's sister is his business partner goes yeah he's he's difficult to
live with and it has a couple more scenes like that and then the credits roll okay i mean it was
well made but they cut those trailers to make it look like there is a secret or reminds me of the
trailers for talented mr rippley or that at least there's a there is a movie in talented mr rippley
and it's a good one but like though the disaster artist the trailers got cut to make it look like
a fucking slasher flick yeah so it was still good but i was like okay that was fine the trailer
companies need to go some do some don't god the fucking trailer for the girl with the dragon tattoo
the one that had no plot in it the one that was just the visuals and the always yeah tone trailers
um i also uh download played a bit of wild guns on the switch because i saw that they added a
couple things to it like an easy mode because wild guns reloaded is harder than no harder
than the super nintendo version because they were balanced for four players yeah yeah but not
balanced for one no no uh so i played that a little bit it's still too expensive when it came
what's the cost 40 that's too expensive there's a lot of stuff in there there's i think there's
online multiplayer i don't know if there's online but they did build a lot of it back they build a
lot of it back up but it was it was 40 dollars based on based on the ps4 based on the length of the
game you would you would expect it to be at least like 15 bucks cheaper yeah anyway i still was was
liking it um i also did a little bit of an extra bit of podcast remember a few weeks ago i did i
was on a wizard and the bruiser talking about Godzilla stuff and they did a lot of their research
and i had fun and they're like we didn't get to everything we skipped the millennium series which
happened like the early 2000s so i was like oh okay good you want me back for for like a little
extra chunk and he's like yeah uh so tell me about the millennium series we haven't actually
watched those ones that much and i'm like oh yeah i did this with you guys once where i'm like so
there's this one called Godzilla uh versus king of door a moth or a giant monster is all out of
attack and they're like yeah okay we've heard of it and i'm like it is implied in this film
that Godzilla is the manifestation of all the souls that died during the atomic bombs
and they're angry at japan for forgetting about their pain and they're like i hear
silence on the other end of the podcast and they're what i'm like an old man heavily implies that
it's not a radioactive creature but pissed off japanese souls that are like why are you guys
watching hentai you having fun without us so they're blown away by that um that was fun that
that's wizard and the bruiser and finally um i bought the nintendo labo kit tell me about the
labo about about the robot okay did you did you have a labo death battle it's still in the box
okay because i seen some good labo tweets and apparently that shits harder to put together
than apparently the robot takes four to five hours to put together because um hardboard that's
what i heard the the the the two fucking best were like the the labo death battles where they just
have the knife strapped to the top to like kind of circling each other and then someone made a
sheer heart attack labo which was like it's got the skull face on it it's like like like rolling
towards the moment that got me was when somebody is like hey pat you check out the giant bomb stream
like no why it's like has jeff's been fighting to create a one labo for three hours it's that's
that seems like the same is this good that i walked into a random walmart on a sunday and
they had stacks of them not for nintendo it's not doesn't sound good i don't know i think they probably
have like modest expectations for these things honestly um but you know i might do a video with
it might do a stream of it might do some arts and crafts who knows so yeah it's me i mean it
literally is arts and crafts that's why uh doing a do it oh when i was doing a quick searcher i had
no you know it's fucking crazy you're asking about what else sanrio does right you're gonna say
everything do you remember this fucking cartoon that will animate that came over do you remember
flint the time detective caveman kid no i remember it was it was it was advertised on fox
i remember on fox kids way back in the day like flip the time detective went around uh year 2000
okay and it was i need to see it was apparently like i just remember that being a thing that
were advertising and i never fucking watched it but i remember the the commercials for it and
whatnot yes yes flint the time detective i do remember that's that's owned by sanrio okay cool
so there's a random ass anytime you can bring up the fox box is a good time to bring up the fox
there you go so there you go
i tried to get over my crippling existential dread this week by playing file fancy tactics
only to discover that it is extremely old i'm gonna play a game that's 20 years old no it's not
it's 21 years old well the file fancy tactics is 21 years old that sounds correct yeah many
of the people listening to this podcast yeah are like 18 minus a few yeah that sounds right it's
june of 97 because 1998 the year is 20 years old anything bring that on or just uh it was my
birthday so i'm like i'll play some old classic that i adore cool and um and then it blew up in my
fucking face and made me think i was dead you went back you you went back to the the original
oh yeah no i got uh i got uh so i uh a friend of mine tipped me off to a
stellar psp emulator called pps spp yeah i've used it before it is amazing it's probably my
favorite emulator i've ever used it's one of the best because you plop in the game and it just
you don't even have to configure controls half the time yeah the controls come pretty
configured for both xbox and playstation controllers yeah it um it works pretty solid
out the box but you can also do all the fucked up like super scaling and shit that you would do
with some eps xe but you don't even really need to fuck with the graphical settings because they
just make psps remember we did 300 on it and it just 300 looked amazing this is a video that that
got lost the time unfortunately oh you love that game i remember you telling me how much you love
that game he loves it he loves a quote um it's it's such a good fucking emulator so what you do is
people ask me my burning blade that was it my burning something my burning blade uh people
actually ask me how you do this and you get you acquire one that's your war of the lions iso
somehow rip it from your umd that you own uh and then you apply the slowdown patch that people
made for it because otherwise that shit's gonna chug every time gaff garyon does a fucking knife
attack is that what you want no okay uh that new translation i had never really gone back
and extensively fucked around with the new translation because the psp port was so bad
man it's flowery it's like flowery it's astonishingly flowery like all the weird
english is gone so like it blame yourself or god which is one of the very first things that
tames blame not i but your your uh your standing and your birth okay uh your faith and your
birth i think and it's like it's all but every now and then when people are shit talking each other
you get this really flowery rose that's saying like vicious mean ass shit like calling people
whoresons and naves and all that shit i mean that works with evil ease absolutely
i don't know about regular timeline final fantasies there is one problem though and then when they
added they changed some scenes to have cutscenes yeah there's voice acting in them and it's fucking
no no no it's like whoreson definitely could replace son of a bitch like that's really yeah i'll try
to i'll try to add to my lesson you can work that in yeah that's the like hits it's a little harder
i think that's like the single most popular insults in the whole witcher series yeah like like
everybody's calling you a horse on all the time you're like you're a witcher i don't even i'm a
mutant it's not even it's not even applicable to the situation get into my bathtub card acquired
big old scorpion card
because that scorpion crawls out of that bathtub okay because gerald had his way with it don't
you remember great no not the mortal combat character no i didn't think like a big fucking
scorpion people know what i'm talking about just to see all the time you were totally
thinking about scorpion no i said i'm not thinking about scorpion all the time uh
and uh aside from that caught up with the new season hero aca and megalobox whoa
megalobox's last episode was great did you watch it wolves no the third one uh it it does this great
thing where it sets up the most cliched possible plot device ever to the point of like with that
you'll be just as good as the rival but it's the prototype and you're like
and then they actually like go in a completely different direction okay and it saves it cool
uh those are both good animes and you should watch them yeah that's it cool uh let's take a quick word
from our sponsors sponsors uh this week the podcast is sponsored by square space i thanks
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all right thank you thanks a sir um i'll i'll put the call out now
people have told me that my black goku art has appeared on ghetto tv get out t-shirts
that have been sold in bootleg marketplaces for years now you weren't here when matt first
revealed this to me because it had to be revealed i like that is one because we've been through
your gay your final fantasy your final fight art on bootleg snacks boxes we've lived through that
before that was an era but the fucking like matt's black goku shirts specifically it's black
vegeta in a club outfit and he's got black the blackest berma next to him hanging out with
like the likes of black bart t-shirts and looney tunes that are dressed in and fucking and and
and uh iceberg like like looney tune shirts what dude that is the fucking best like i can't
explain how happy that makes me feel so multiple and what price i would pay multiple people have
told me like i've seen these before on t-shirts i would be able to provide a picture all i want
is a picture if i could buy one fuck yeah oh yeah all of you want proof i just want proof that it
exists because i've never seen pictures of that so if anyone knows or finds any let me know because
i have the uncle that would wear the black bart shirts right and there's and there's sometimes
you get like latino bart too if you're if you're really frisky yeah you know but like
absolutely black vegeta fucking shirts i'd say like oh of course of course that would happen
yeah that makes me so happy i need it i fucking need it because it was really weird because some
people would go that was you yeah that made that like 10 years later after i'd seen that shirt
like when you look at a person would yell when you gotta make black boo and you make him fucking
tar black what do you do with the head of course he's wearing a toke of course you know like oh god
fuck all right the world is wonderful there's there's joy still there's joy left to be mined
i don't know how to handle that i don't know that that's wild that's fucking
sometimes that joy can be mined when um when rights are correct rights are wrong wrongs are
righted and they want to just start the whole bit over capcom is killing off puzzle fighter
fucking awesome they're focusing on dead rising fucking not and and well that was at an attempt
at a segue who did oh wow so just for people that know that horrible puzzle fighter game
lasted six months uh which what's the term they sunset it sunset it um again shout out to to
to mom make a tom strong who've pointed out the uh the forehorsemen of the like it's fucking dead
in months apocalypse and like there's a bunch of other mobile games that basically fell by the
wayside in the same way where the announcement post is like basically like one year and then
within the same year there's the we're gonna be uh shutting the servers down or the next year
but less than you get to less than 12 months of life and that's the world we live in but hey
when you put out bullshit like puzzle fighter the new one fucking like what do you expect man
so that that's one of those special cases i think we described a little bit earlier where we talked
about radical heights a few weeks ago and we described the ability of some consumers to point
at something go that's fucking dead right yeah this thing was the most unanimous one i've ever
seen ever but here's the weirdest part right it's puzzle fighter and that means the gameplay is still
puzzle fighter yep yeah like the the visuals are all just extra flavoring so woolly here's the thing
and you're completely right but you're forgetting the thing is that you have to make it not repulsive
yes you have to make it not repulsive but that's how amazing it's like by default your game is
actually a slam dunk in terms of the gameplay if it had no art it would probably have done better
if it puzzle league right just raw like nothing at all but the thing that you put in made it repulsive
like one bit that you change people were autumn people were already here standing waiting for
any hand i and you had to put in the thing that you didn't have to you didn't have to
make people come from afar they were standing there and you put something in that made them walk away
i can think of another project that when it was revealed had i'd say 65 percent of every
artist i knew on twitter was writing this is how you correct this mistake two seconds drawing it
or or just showing pointers i remember why can't i remember that day i remember that day because
there's something specific about the fighter where people like those to all those alternate
variants all those redraws came in within like hours of the announcement and it's like wait
if people were able to fucking bang these out in an afternoon how is this unfixable well it's like
the fucking like big head nba jam 3d modes right i love that but it was like it would but it was
like they took a like just a big ugly 3d model yeah and then shrunk the proportions down remind me
of how they looked in the puzzle combat thing a mortal comet deception where they're just shrunken
3d models but like but they had to find for nether realm i expect that but they attempted to make the
bodies also sd in the way that the old other ones were and it just it completely fucking falls apart
it's hard to do it's hard for american it's like they were selling hot dogs and everyone's like i
could go for a hot dog and then right before they they they opened up the shop what they do to the
hot dog they they stood up and say hey everyone we're gonna start selling the hot dogs but before
we do who wants to see this weird gross thing on my asshole and then they showed it to everyone
and then people left and then a couple people went it wasn't that bad i guess i still want a hot dog
so this is made by calcon vancouver yeah and and now they're gonna focus on dead rising again
which is is like dead but that's what they ruined but that's what they did before right
when you what is capcom vancouver no dead rising how long do you give them with with this failing
and dead rising for like actually like not making money i read they could they could reinvent
dead rising to basically i don't think it needs a god of war style break of like a number of years
for people to care they're like dead rising one was special then dead rising two by vancouver was
like hey you know what this isn't quite dead rising it's very different in certain ways but
hey this is a really good attempt this is this is a good game in its own right then there's k zero
well here's the thing though right and then ever and then everything after there's off the record
yeah everything after three but as far as zombie four three and four we're just yeah as far as zombie
like you know survival and whatnot goes like metal gear survived just dropped in like again
all from on a gameplay sure it did drop yeah but from a gameplay perspective everyone's like this
is a pretty good zombie game right like they could do things to the brand to make it interesting if
they like again rebuilt it in a way but there's so many capcom franchises we all ask for but
they keep giving dead rising more and more chances like we're still not there's still no no
why can't we have that well out of war style is it possibly because capcom vancouver's like
specialty is dead rising yes maybe because that's the stats that's why they bought them i guess
they're the they're the guys that do that specific products that they're now putting out fail yeah
then it's it's really weird because it's like there hasn't been a game as good as the original game
or is like the whole time feeling as as the second one did yeah they just kind of made the same
game over and they keep the people want frank let's put frank in it again three and frank stuff and
all that stuff it reeks of like publisher fingers in the pie yeah like make it like this now make
it like that now um add this yeah i don't know why does capcom at least just let sure i don't know
if well like we don't know what the whole city we don't know what the state of like capcom's current
like internal you know uh talent is like but it it feels like it's at a rough point in terms of
some of their other studios and if if dmc five is a real thing that's being worked on by some people
then it you find out where that this story is more of a confirmation of a new dead rising then
then devil may cry uh devil may cry five existing that's your official yeah it's coming
then devil may cry five has had i have a sneaking suspicion that the current state of capcom's talent
is the resident evil team is solid and they're keeping that shit together to keep making those
games monster hunter is doing its thing monster hunter has been basically its own fucking business
unit since its inception like they don't touch that shit like it's like the sims uh a campus or
whatever the yeah but the thing that does change is when it sooner starts a project he pulls everyone
off everything to work on his project like remember what happened with dragon's dogma
where he sucked up like most of capcom's extraneous staff into dragon's dogma to make that game
and the game came out amazing but like if you're looking at this and you're looking at like hey
what capcom games are coming out nothing then it makes me feel like dmc5 is is eating resources in
terms of manpower hopefully one thing i'll say is that capcom vancouver always working on uh
dead rising always frees up everyone else to not yes that's good the other thing is that uh the
the guy's working on remake or the all the people that worked on the ports for uh yeah for hd all
that stuff so they're locked up well yeah be nice to see a game out of that well anyway um that's
what's going on there six months that thing did that megaman x over like last longer crossover to
usur yeah sorry zover to me that's over it's over um uh so there's that there is the uh
recent not confusing but just unfortunate and it's not confusing at all that uh well now
he's making a mobile game with kana kaja kajima with kajima the castlevania i want a castlevania
grimoire of souls will be available on your ios device a little bit later grimoire of souls
might be the worst subtitle for a castlevania i've ever heard really what's worse order of ecclesia
that's the name of the group that's yeah but ecclesia is a dumb name to me it's exactly the same
as the others it's just so generic and it doesn't have the the little bit of um of musical reference
i think i think i think don sarah's pretty bad i think harmony of despair is the worst but only
because harmony of dissonance exists and then they have to just find another excuse to use the word
to maybe it's not that bad but now that it's attached to a mobile game i'm maybe i'm giving it
i'm being hard that's fair that's fair because a i find look at it yeah it's a 3d like this looks
worse than um mercury's mirror of fate is that what that game is called yeah mirror of fate
i'll take your word for it i can't remember i i just i just like i'm a bit
miffed that uh it's not like the the subtitle isn't something that's like uh you love this
shit i know what you're gonna say innocent on sword innocence of souls you know that would
have been like so fucking dumb if it was on android what would be called oh no oh jeez it would fall
apart what would we would we just laugh about the other day i think it was like a ds twilight venom
twilight venom that was it yeah wild arms twilight venom and if i can and again harmony of
of despair no the ds was the best for that shit dragon sword dragon deadly silence there are some
that i didn't even realize until someone pointed them out to me i'm like what oh double strike yeah
yeah i fucking love that shit innocence of souls why is the innocence a lower case and the off and
souls are uppercase shut up uh um this one's just a little i'm just throwing this out for anyone who
cares and i forgot to do the news thing buh buh buh buh buh cool i don't know if anyone cares but if
they do care i don't care sci-variar deltar is coming to the switch in ps4 what the hell is sci-variar
is a sick ashmab from the ps that's a bullet hell game for sure what do you mean um uh sci-variar
has always been a really rad series uh in particular what's notable with it is you have um you can
like do a little like a barrel right and you make that makes your hitbox smaller and you actually
and then you have a um there's a cool mechanic uh what's it called you know you tell me i've never
heard of this game buzz it's called the buzz mechanic okay yeah yeah and what it is is when
bullets graze because you have a one by one you have a single pixel hitbox right like like any
like good shmup and uh your ship every part of your ship that's not like that hitbox
is the buzz zone basically where if the bullets graze by that you level up oh wow so it's like
almost hitting traffic and burnout so you learn meter by almost hitting things by the the near
misses and whatnot yeah so basically you're trying to buzz the bullets as much as possible
to level yourself up and when you when you do level up you get like a moment of invincibility
and then like you get your everything gets better and stronger and whatnot so like it's
just a good ass shmup sci-variar you saw that uh treasure just showed a picture of the switch
with ikoruga running on it yeah yeah it's no yeah that'll be around forever it's all of it
we're ikoruga forever that's fine there's a really there's a really good possibility for
ikoruga on the switch for a tate mode hell yeah absolutely but there's no way to make it stand
that way though i think there is they'll make uh they'll make it i think i saw something about
there being a standard or some configuration but at this way losers yep so uh if you're a fan of
sci-variar that's coming which is awesome uh the buzz system yeah we had the buzz system earlier
because of the bees in our in our audio equipment uh we're gonna do the podcast but there was this
big bee there's some buzzing coming over from france from the from the legal system in particular
the story is so great it was given to us as a gift so i will paraphrase jason schreyer's story
about this jason schreyer from over at kotaku he's in france he's supposed to meet with a french
journalist the guy who wrote the original david cage uh studio is a pile of shit allegation story
back a couple months ago for le monde for his book and then the guy's publisher publicist or
whatever say oh he can't make it he's all he's in fucking court he goes huh what and he asked the
guy is like is this about that quantic dream shit and the guy goes uh right so then he goes hey
hey other person that i know over at a quantic dream preview event for
to uh beyond to beyond troy indigo hey rain um hey sony pr man what are you got what's going on
with with quantic dream and le monde is something happening and the pr guy goes no man no everything's
everything's cool and the david cage leaps into the fray and goes we are suing their journalists
so quantic dream is very upset about the quote unquote slanderer's accusations he's very upset
very upset that the article that was published made the studio look bad and that it implied
that they were a bunch of uh dumb neanderthals with farting dick balls your honor that was not
a farting dick balls that was dick butt yes a known and beloved mascot of the get it right idiots
um basically all the and also the the the real heart of it was the super fucked up crunch
conditions of like what was it 90 hour work weeks and shit like that on top of all that
and that it's basically a terrible place to work right uh quantic dream does not like that
and is now suing a french newspaper over that article french newspaper comes out and goes
oh no that shit's legit we researched that real good 100 percent
stand by our sources you know the cat that kind of thing and uh this story has yet to develop
further than that but what a bunch of piss babies all covered in piss and crying about their piss
all over themselves let's see what the law has to say um the the primary defense against slander
libel or defamation is the truth they they do say that the story has been written sincerely
following a well-documented thorough investigation respectful of the principle that both sides must
be heard so we stick with our information is what they say and uh yeah we'll see what the judge
asks will you this will someone outside this this office starts yelling the best friends are running
in a toxic waste dump in their office or they have they have children working in some mines
somewhere and if that's true what would your legal advice be for us i would just start i would
just start running okay yeah if it's if it's not true what we what would we do i would just start
running okay okay let's talk to me talk to me over here same question okay so if it's not true
it's not true at all ignore it or be like that dude's full of shit moving on yeah if it was true
get rid of the children well make the children go away the children have to go tell people to
judge you by your work oh man dude this is the most guilty they could have possibly looked
it would be so awesome if right before the game comes out quantic dream does not close down
but two people are fired okay like the judge might say that was not true this place is a dream
now i'm not familiar with french slash european slander libel law or what have you not great it
is apparently significantly different than it is out here which is why british newspapers are a
little more nervous about it they they get hit harder yeah it's it's a little easier to prove
but i that's britain if i remember correctly okay but to my knowledge the basic defense against
libel slander defamation is hey is what you said true that's that's a get out of jail free card
quite literally right okay if what you said was true then it's not libel or slander or anything like
that the other part and this only applies to certain areas and i think it's the way it is here
you have to knowingly make a false statement so it's not even good enough that it's wrong
you had to know it was wrong okay okay okay which means if those are the criteria that
quantic dream is dealing with with a legitimate newspaper yeah they're so fucked they're not
good like this is the most pointless thing ever mistakes are not counted no okay if you had an
honest reason to believe these facts and you reported on them responsibly but we're wrong yeah
you're still good interesting now that can obviously change because it's europe and i'm obviously
like tangentially familiar with stuff over here more because it's here
but like this lawsuit has a fucking zero percent chance of success and the more than anything the
fact that sony is trying to tell him to shut up about it yeah is the biggest indicator that it's
not gonna go anywhere because if they if it was gonna go somewhere and it was a just lawsuit
i bet sony would be like yeah we're doing it and defend quantic dream because they're they were
hurt by this and we're gonna win but they're not gonna win it sucks that like if stuff like this
gets even more exposed or whatever it's revealed to be even worse or true or whatever and if sony
like almost every company has closed down developers good developers that did nothing wrong
but their title just didn't solve that well yeah it happens like just shut them down
or at least fire david cage well then now we're delving into like deep-ass company politics but
it becomes like well david cage is kind of the face of the studio it's not the kind of person
you just remove because they're a problem the average person doesn't know that doesn't really
care it's it's the lionhead molly would care um speaking of zero chance of success i'm so
excited oh yeah please matt take it away oh what what is this article it says john travolta thinks
fred durst is an artist now this photo this photo is probably the single greatest it should be the
podcast i don't understand what i'm looking at i just oh all right fred durst is directing a film
that stars john travolta fred durst has directed a few films here and there uh john travolta looks
despondent and has a exploded eyeball in this photo and is looking down at the floor in a melancholy
he looks very sad that his eye is exploded but fred durst is photobombing the photo going
oh like making the chris pratt face from parks and rack it's it's this photo is art
but put that in the so people at the podcast they click on the podcast they see this thing
oh that's that's it's weird so uh why does john travolta think that fred durst is an artist uh matt
well if you go down further bit the article it's just a bit more just saying that
hey i'm starting this movie and i'm actually really enjoying working on this this mr durst guy
seems to really know what he's doing and he's letting me act this in such a way and a character
i've never played before and it's really exciting so basically it's based on a real life thing that
happened to to good ol freddy to mr durst which was hey a fan got pretty crazy it happens on me
a few years ago or probably 20 years ago well that's the problem not the problem but it's like
when you're reading through it's like travolta 64 is currently filming a thriller durst 47 is also
credited as the writer from your goal oh my god wow um wow and uh yeah the movie is about
john travolta being the crazy fan and he's obsessed with an action movie star played by
devan sahwa you might remember from nothing um you're right i i forget i think he was in
some horror movie i forget what he was in um and yeah that's just i saw this photo
like woolly i was shell shocked i think thrown for a loop this would be a much more interesting
movie if instead of john travolta playing the character of a stalker it was john travolta
is stalking me now when this story initially came out of this movie being announced it was
announced that it was a biopic about fred durst yeah i remember that was playing fred durst which
i would have been correct what the fuck is this world if that were the case no that makes no sense
and again like he's 20 years older than him yeah oh yeah no it's fun times for all okay i like to
say the movie is called moose by the way okay i don't know why oh he's just i can't look away
he's be me i can't look away durst is so happy and he's not wearing his red hat but he's wearing
a red jacket like john travolta got his eye plucked out in akumite and fred durst just happened to be
in the audience and he's crying he's parks and rec facing it going oh my gosh i'm plucked out man
rolling fucking Thor Ragnarok
oh shit um yeah what's what's there's a doom movie again yeah you see this
yeah it's this about a woman actress nina bergman announced that she's starring in the doom movie
that's not announced that seems like a big mistake well it's either a big mistake or i'm actually trying
to spur a movie into getting out yeah you know what i mean so i don't know she just went on twitter
and said hey guys i'm starring in the new doom movie with universal who were also the ones that
put out the first doom movie back to bulgaria i don't know why they would do a second one
and this comes hot off the heels of the rock going man that fucking stinker i shot that out didn't
i so this is not a random person just lying it says she's an actress okay and she even says it
will be a much better script this time much better script but the movie is not announced and i i look
up this shit all the time is our new doom movie now no as far as i know but maybe it's announced
now there's been no other updates to this i think the destructoid version of this thing was uh so i
guess a doom movie exists this is weird why yeah whatever would you do that woolly for something
you really wanted would you just hold up a little picture and post on your twitter saying everyone
i'm in like the fucking night wish milk yeah yeah i just don't like can you create something
what just by by getting the you know you there's probably an effect right because you don't cast
yet yeah you announced the movie is being created yeah casting is one of the last things you do
before going into production no man they're gonna drop the movie fully formed and just be like it's
hot you start what you start you you start with the rumors and then it gets forced into
reality that being said i'd love to see a new doom whatever i don't care at this point would you
whatever it is based on this new one if it's actually based on this new one i think it'd be
really stupid do you think doom needs a movie no but i want to see it it needs a netflix
castlevania animated series like i don't think shit needs anything but i want it yeah
all right i'd watch a an animated movie ish of it of we i live in a world in which the word
opportunity cost does not exist yeah these people wouldn't be making anything so make a doom movie
might as well kickstart it no see what happens no yeah might have the rock in there as a
cameo yeah get killed in two seconds well anyway the music's really good right of course it is so
there's a vinyl coming out of course there is mc gordon deserves all the vinyls you're gonna get
this final it's got the cooler you're a vinyl player right i have a vinyl player i have a wall
of vinyls i'm probably not gonna get this one but why not there's a fucking thing that says i haven't
played doom we'll play it then you can get i'll get around to it i think there's the thing that says
mc gordon's like it's on cd if you want a shittier sound
i think there's like if you don't have to get the vinyl if you don't want fuller audio right
like just a little dig oh boy well we have viruses now oh boy oh man my phone just filled up with
viruses it sucks what happened i don't know i closed that window did that address from doom
infect our computers she might have our network this might be the way that dude is gonna happen
we do we have to play pub g to unlock the fucking laptop to get the podcast back
sell russian minecraft items you see that fucking new former ransomware what fucking chinese ransomware
fucking buy and play pub g to unlock your computer that's wild don't even understand
that's fucking wild shit man like what do what do you gain i don't fucking know
um all right internet's a wild place you don't know what you're gonna catch yeah
for example if you were to tell me that one rob lifeld oh shut up currently working and and and
doing well developing the extreme universe on netflix were to be handed the uh official poster
to the deadpool too i would have said you're crazy i think it's a fendango poster but that's
still a big deal but uh rob lifeld he drew that is it just me and his deadpool look
rendered exactly like he does in marvel uh in illustrations that shinkiro did i guess it's
because it could be well this is yeah this is colored by someone else right yeah it's called
yeah rob lifeld's no color color one has to assume you know what that's perfect read the
description really briefly well sure rob lifeld the fam comic book writer and artist who originally
created deadpool deadpool for marvel is joining fendango and celebrating the forthcoming release
of deadpool too as tickets for deadpool to become available for purchase today fendango ticket buyers
will also receive a complimentary poster illustrated by lifeld now over here it says fendango's
error davis sat down with lifeld last week to discuss his exclusive image and this is rob
lifeld talking the cover to new mutants 98 has basically become the most iconic image in all
of comics and it is the comic that introduced deadpool and domino to the world new means 98
has become a key image in the comic book pantheon what image is he talking about do you actually
know i don't i assume it's in a much similar pose to the poster i think the truth lies this is the
most rob lifeld thing i've ever heard i think the truth lies in the second quote where he says uh i
brought cable deadpool domino into the world and it changed the course of my career it gave me the
career i had so it was just a pleasure to pay homage to pay homage so it's covered some
pile of shit it's so bad look at this crap hold on it's look up new mutants 98 new mutants 98
it was important to him holy shit it's hideous
so but then you took out 90 percent of the characters that are on this cover oh my god
look at deadpool's legs look at his legs who the fuck is that weirdo guy it was right that's
gideon who's that he's a he's a he's a eternal they can't iconic he's like uh he's immortal but
then they got rid of they have to get rid of boom boom cannonball and rick there's a sunspot who
gives a shit and there's cable but cable's looking at deadpool like he's there iconic in the pantheon
amazing spider man this is not thank you so anyway it's a it's amazing it's that what a good time
it's that oh man hey good for you rob lifeld you know what you you actually yes good for you you pay
those bills you did a good job get that work i think one of my favorite forays into learning about
comics was reading this amazing breakdown of like whatever it was like the 100 worst comic covers
by rob lifeld yeah that's one of the best which is why website well if you threw this one in front
of me i wouldn't have guessed he was involved yeah that's off that's fine you know so there's that
but like that one with frank not gonna pretend it's not just turning into like an existential
rant on the nature of art we forgot to draw the fucking gun uh i can't believe shatter starts in
that fucking movie yeah dude it's so good he looks so bad he looks he looks like he's from a movie
from 94 like i swear it looks so bad now i'm looking forward to peter yeah peter's
you follow his twitter peter's pretty good peter's twitter's pretty good um here's another quick
and pretty good kota bakuya has putting out uh like pokemon statue figures uh and they have
green and red aka basically like gary and and and ash that i know ash but it's but it's but it's
not it's red yeah it's clearly red but it's fucking really cool that is really really high quality
statues of red and green and and pikachu and evie and uh i just thought these were fucking worth
showing off because they're super nicely done and they've even got the the like um the light
uh palette shading of the like the covers of the those manga yeah because they have like very
like pencil crayon-esque like lighting and coloring these look great and these look really
fucking good uh evie kind of looks a little weird like it's falling off the little uh stand
but it's so cool this is like a chihuahua yeah so yeah that's blue in america green and fucking
japan you nerds that's japanese jesus christ idiots the fuck get the fuck out of here these people
expose yourself asses anyway um the the don't fight the audience man they're they all overpower you
man they will um but that kratos though yeah platinum wants wonderful 101 to hit the switch
good then people can play it it i think there's this and maybe two other games and i've never seen
a system be so invalidated uh i think the word you're looking for is cannibalized cannibalized
everybody's ripping everything they did off of it and putting it onto the new thing i want to say
this maybe maybe sharp fe uh god oh it's coming don't worry mario 3d world the multiplayer one
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah that would be a really good court because i was talking to Liam about this
he was like oh new super mario brothers you i'm like no nobody cares but 3d world yeah i really hope
that sharp fe for switch comes out before you guys finish the up well i know we've talked about
that yeah we we'd be hilarious um but in the meantime they're they're they're gonna be making
some of that mobile money like did they did they say like what is there a receptacle to put support
in how does one support them i think they just got a bao three it has you know just make nintendo
love them even more with bao three and then uh so well and when that but like it but yeah that's
it been nintendo did it anyway so but that's it it's like platinum and nintendo's relationship will
continue to grow if that game is well received platinum game to make money no one does they
publish it to make themselves look good hey we talk about their mobile game well that's what i
would that's what i was trying to go it's nice it's gonna segue and i said mobile money because
i said i was gonna talk about it started the combo nintendo uh rather do you start it dna dena dina
dina dina and platinum announced world of demons and it's all about yokai and it's got that okami
art style and it looks fucking gorgeous and it's a mobile game i don't like one aspect which of it
which is i think you're either always auto running or you're always auto attacking
hmm is it good which i'm not surprised considering then the limitations of of
falls but um i read somewhere that it's like your character's either always attacking things
and he auto attacks and you just guide him around okay i think anybody could make successful
oh no not successful no that was the wrong word to use a good action phone what's the chair games
again to get uh whatever blade infinity blade infinity blade chairfuckers yeah like those are
games where you walk in a line and then you have these like slashing out so like you can you can do
that is this punch out it's not but like man they have that like like art style down it just sounds
like a kami's osu it really does it really does and the the the only look really well
fucking designed like so they show any gameplay they do gameplay i can look at it's it's it's yes
i saw a second of gameplay there okay it doesn't look like you're always attacking but it does
look like you might always be moving it looks it does look like you get to like you might not
have control over where you walk or run but you're gonna be like fighting enemies in an open space
but like there's not a lot of gameplay unfortunately so i want i yeah we will need to wait to see more
but come on platinum never lose your luster at least we know that art is on point it seems like
there's two playable characters and you have co-op maybe art is on point we just gotta see what
else is going on i like that i like that hero and here's another thing just as a as a franchise
to introduce this would be cool to take other places maybe world of demons yeah you could do
anything with demons this would be cool to take other places it seems like it's like onto a console
yeah well all these all these these are all english screenshots and announced and like the
announcement was was in english like an english version exactly so it's it's both um this is
going to be available both places but yeah you've got uh onimaru and sayo as the two main characters
anyway i yeah it's got the style i just hope it fucking you know coming down the summer
hey it's free with in-app purchases how much do you love platinum show your love here press this
button that's a receptacle here's the receptacle for my love is it or is it the dina button
i don't know it might be the dina button pat they're making the switch online they are are they
no you noticed all that use your phone to talk to people multiplayer shit just disappeared after
sure fucking dead did it disappear no one used it no what i mean is it was it came out with
splatoon 2 and then it was never mentioned again no one has talked about it since as use this for
this game or because first of all no one that was not nintendo has latched on to attempting to use
that plus you also need to make a game that would even use you would yes which i i as opposed to just
as opposed to porting something yeah i i should mention i i i talked about it at the time but i
use that system the worst it's just as bad as you would expect it's so awful it's so awful
it's gonna go down as like yeah it's gonna go down as one of the i bet i let splatoon 2 is the only
game to ever use it i can't possibly imagine now you're moving forward with that if you don't make
i'm not taking that that would use it then you're fine
you know yeah like it it it shines a light on the failure as long as you just continue to port
other shit let's see if mario tennes uh what's it called super mario was aces mario tennes aces
bothers bothers or ships with no ability to communicate whatsoever instead yeah that that'll
be the next game that because if it if it ships with nothing instead of that system that's actually
an improvement because it implies that you should go download discord which is what you
should do anyway yeah no no mario tennes being the next like uh uh like push from first party like
if they don't push go with that then it's going to be clearly well they tried it with splatoon
no one bit and it's over i i'd say that's fair it's it's crazy and that's so many hoops to jump
through for fucking nothing oh yeah anyway um
wave race might come back though fucking hope so
what about jet moto though i mean that's like you yeah that's right you jet moto was always
ass fuck off you can you're like you can hit the you can hit the button to take turns really
die go die a new wave race title might be in production you may see that game again says uh
shinya takahashi aka the wave race producer all i'd want is for bluestorm to get ported onto
like the e-shop that's i'd be happy with that that'd be really nice once jet moto coming out on the
e-shop we have been trying to make many games so that may be one of them and i personally love
wave race he says that would be really cool wave race was only made by or there were some
japanese workers that helped out but like it was made by nintendo nst that's that was always america
based okay but here's the problem if you don't release it and have the next level of water
then there's no point like your water has to set a new bar for water yeah when you make a wave race game
yeah and uh there was there was gonna be a jet moto game called 2124
aw man does jet moto have riyota hayami in it i don't know rob haywood you hit the button and
you take the turn real tight because of the grappling hook go die i thought you love grappling
hooks go die jet moto forever takes some emails there are dozens of us
you've got one if you cut an email and you want to write in about how much
jet moto is way better than wave race there was a fucking demo on the stupid playstation
demo disc for jet moto 2 or 3 and i remember popping it in to see what the fucking not wave
race buzz was about guess what yeah it wasn't sorry you don't know how to appreciate taste
sorry you're not dead it has i'm getting there i'm getting there it has tons of mountain dew ads
right in your face and jet moto as well if i recall yeah well everything of that era did mostly
because because extreme um what extreme g had a bunch of so yeah send those into bad so it's
fuck you fuck you jet moto so good you don't even you're you're super wrong you're saying
that i am wrong but it is you that is wrong about jet moto and wave race is the one that
sucks i had no i had no like like fucking steak in this i had no side i just wanted until you drew
the line i just wanted to like jet moto you can life jet moto but until you drew the line in the
sand and you told people to stand on one or the other that's right now we're going to be counting
jet moto or wave race you can pick any jet moto you want i personally think versus wave
race and wave race bluestorm yeah there's only the two yeah you know you know there's a game boy one
that was the first one i'm gonna put up a fucking poll on twitter asking people about jet moto and
fucking wave race and then when you finish listening to this podcast you'll be able to
go look at my twitter and see how fucking good jet moto is well you know what then what i suppose
the race war starts now yeah i suppose does he got an evil oh wow it's got a little super good
water i'm gonna ignore the bad game you've got uh an email that's how i feel now you can send it
yeah i i it's interesting how watching that evolved that evolved we're going from feelings of
like pat walked into this room this morning probably somewhere in his brain going yeah
jet moto was pretty cool i mean uh wave race was pretty cool okay i enjoyed those games just for
them analytic analytics here wave race in the game boy game cube in the n64 72 percent 82
percent 90 percent all right that's just on game rankings because because metacritic doesn't
like list games that old often yep yep so let's just put in just paying that fucking twitter
poll to the top of my page there there you fucking fucking rep your jet moto cat walked into this room
probably thinking that wave wave race was all right this morning jet moto 78 75 70
factually incorrect oh come on you evolved people you're the one who got mad over those
tony hawk reviews what tony hawk reviews no wait what was it oh yeah the gamecube version
of tony hawk isn't as good as the other versions just doesn't have online it's not
now you can't take the poll that i put up seriously because people will vote right wave
race just to spite me of course so we all know deep in our hearts that jet moto is the winner but
like like there's like like you love both of these games i have i have you probably made
wave right yeah i was gonna say you know or either that or you've never played i've played a couple
hours of wave race total okay and then friends houses you popped in jet moto once no i had jet
moto okay okay you just ended up with it no no actually i didn't own it because i also played
jet moto at a friend's place because you're by back in the day there are some unfortunate
unfortunate kids we went to school with they didn't choose the genesis they just ended up with it
and then they were forced to defend anyone that that wound like the other i wound up with an atari
when everyone had an nes kevin and anthony my friends back in elementary had a genesis and
they would fight to the death over super nintendo people on it was happening but they were just
given that as the random parent chosen console yeah so they didn't have a say they didn't know
this argument just got way more interesting now how up to like almost 400 votes and it's split
down the middle exactly it is 50 50 oh god until someone comes in with fucking something from left
field another franchise people are saying hydro thunder that's crazy oh hydro thunder is really
good but there's one of them but that's not a that's not a franchise yeah and an h2o overdrive
is another game but it's there but neither are these are person on jet jet ski right like come on
jet moto so radical yeah like i'm what we're watching you solid seven we're watching we're
watching you talk yourself into it what are some questions let's get this off no this is
tell me if there's any questions about jet moto that just came in crossovers this should happen
that'd be great that'd be a great game what the water of wave race with the controls of jet moto
that'd be great all right let's see here let's see here
yeah uh i'm looking for recent ones to see but no anyway well whatever i'll get to the others
this isn't me saying siphon filter versus metal gear any crazy shit like that no it's actually
kind of like that no it's not like that hey man it's really really similar to that hey we like
pressing the select button to get our kicks okay in championship edition yes we like you this is
the way they intended the game to play uh let's take one what do you think about when someone's
like well they released a better controller later does that count the duke yeah no no i mean like
for anything oh if a game has busted controls especially in an old my art my yeah and then
someone goes no it's fine because they released a time of release our my yelling and the fights
that took place with lunch boxes being swung was based on the controller with the three buttons
so i don't know what to tell you all right uh here's one coming in from um
shoal he says hey joel man what up jeez uh dear friends of war i like that i like that my friends
and i were at a pal's birthday party at a place called main event an entertainment city center
in katie texas we were had a hard time putting up with the fact that most of the games you have
to play you have to buy a fun card um and you have to swipe they're all like you have to swipe them in
and and so on you put the balance on your card and transfer round one busters uh oh i swiped more
than once the card didn't read and now it counted as two credits and i can't take it back uh oh i
swiped in it won't let us play the staff has to come to reclaim the amount we lost and so on and so
forth uh throughout the ordeal some of us got really frustrated at the way arcades have evolved
in my girls transactions and such and i this is long i gotta go to just get to the jump to the
what's the what's the point then my group found uh this this machine maybe you haven't heard of it i
have actually this is the injustice arcade cabinet yes i saw this at uh when i went to but you didn't
play it right no because i saw it okay but guess what it is by swiping in a dollar 65 with the card
you're able to play around with three random characters what regardless of winning or losing
the cabinet would then give you a random card that you use by scanning on the cabinet and you
can build a team once you play for a while the system brought about so many feelings i never
thought i'd experience especially the feeling of gambling for that rare card with the passion of my
friends getting rare ones too and we ended up spending around 20 bucks feeling it like it was
worth every penny fucking gacha system right right next to this arcade machine is a big standee that
shows all like dozens and dozens more cards than there are characters because it's like this version
of Superman whatever so it has this big colorful standee thing you can collect all these superheroes
that's fucking wild my question is should more arcades be like this injustice arcade no or should
we go back to the days of standard machines when kids with their coins no we shouldn't go back to
coins either because that's a mess we should go back to privately owned arcades that people let you
in to hang out says joel from texas um he got in and he sent pictures of he then he has like like
yeah tons of cards that he bought and he got super into it and he's like this is good he had i know
people that are super into this game i see people who like oh yeah it's not even a fighting game by
the way it's like kind of randomized so that's literally the core the core of the answer here
is that what you're describing is should it's basically the mobile game sorry yeah basically
the mobile game of injustice yeah no that's what i'm saying so like what you're asking is like you
thought you were getting a fighting game and then you popped your card in and it turned out it was a
gacha game yeah and you're asking should arcades turn into gacha games and the answer to me is
fuck no or they kind of already have in a lot of ways if they're on your phone yeah but i don't
want arcade machines to come back and be that if that's the only way to save them that's that's
garbage i feel like that's that sucks i think there's like that thing exists to make money right
but there's still new games that are coming out there traditional absolutely and there's new
games that are coming out that are gacha games as long as they don't eat each other as long as it
doesn't override the standard game exactly i just ignore those games that's that's exactly it right
like you can have new games that come out that are that are normal and you can have new games
that come out that are gacha games and that's fine but if you're asking me if if if old games
should be replaced by these then the answer is fuck no no so wave race won the poll yeah well
you guys are jerks and liars we sat here and we're doing a story about a wave race game and you
started screaming at us this was all you i like jet moto that's fine no one talked about jet
moto no one talked about it because no one ever talks about jet moto we're just sitting here
my neuro business through the podcast story and you've disappointed yourself this is all on you
i'm gonna destroy all copies of wave race i fine well it's not that in revenge
what if they release them digitally that's gonna be tough wait they did they did and 64 came out
in the we shop i can't wait till three episodes from now when you forget this conversation ever
happened i didn't go man i love wave race um wave race is a classic everybody should play
it very solid my ability to fucking slightly disagree with something and turn it to the most
extreme level might be overdone maybe i might well uh it feels so good when you're right okay um
devastating when you're not dara chalupa supreme with extra sour cream cast
joe says uh i've been recently listening to the entire back of the podcast and i really enjoyed
as part of my daily routine the other day i decided to give joe's bizarre adventure all-star battle
a chance which i was hesitant to do after a lot of negative criticism but i tried the demo and i
found myself enjoying it despite the fact that it was rather slow and clunky uh i'm much more casual
when it comes to these fighters so playing through the story mode to unlock uh everyone was
nostalgic to me as i really enjoyed budakai back in the day have you ever played put off playing
a game or experiencing another piece of media due to really bad reviews from friends or people
whose opinions your respect only to find that you actually enjoyed it in the end when you got hands
on with yourself um says joe like i've said and i guess you guys might agree sometimes is like
maybe really really bad reviews will spur me to play something yeah those fours and fives and
sixes that made me go in yeah so like everyone telling me how bad something sucks makes me
want to see it for myself i want to play uh right to hell so bad now i'd say it's so bad i'd say one
of the biggest but but like but your opinions have to come out actually change yeah that's
has that ever happened that i'm trying to think it's quite rare i have one that i can think of
and that is um mario sunshine is i got i got like bombarded for a while with about how
shit it was and i remember when i finally sat down to play it myself well because it's not
shit yeah i was i was actually surprised going like oh this is mario again this is quite fine
it's not yeah you know what i mean like that's it like people the level of expectation for mario
128 and then the hatred that came out afterwards were like very disproportionate in some ways
compared to mario 64 and then like mario galaxy kind of like so it's wedged in between words like
yeah but it's but that was the game that that's it like i went in like expecting so much i didn't
like that game for a long time so much bullshit and it turned out super fine i'm actually a lot
more likely to have like everyone's insane lavish praise like make me judge a game more harshly
than i might have otherwise the opposite effect yeah or it's like every like like wave race
like what just happened meant to say undertale no undertale totally counts
um there's some superhero games that are like got bad reviews when i actually play them like i
thought the captain america game on 360 was like i beat it it's one of the few things where like
we're doing mission and episodes at that point to play the next game go go go but i sat down and
beat that thing and i thought that was better than some of the reviews were like oh this is
dreadful and like i think that was not dreadful by the way the godzilla ps4 game i wound up liking
that a lot more going into the reviews especially for fake godzilla fans like angry joe and um
you know really just a little smile on willy's face and i was like no it was if you really
like godzilla you'd be into this it is a little clunky but whatever hey you know it turns out
be on the 3ds i thought was really good turns out that uh turns out that god hands not a three on
ten turns out but did anyone else or i don't even know because the ign review was so overpowering
did anyone else review it really highly or low uh that's out there were a couple yeah
turns out that vanquish was all right turns out it was all right you mean jim you cannot polish a
turd like this i love jim so much but you can't undo that crazy shit there's super mario brother
super show matt you're a fan of horror slasher movies have you heard about the anthology show
called slasher on netflix uh yeah it was sorry then you might have wanted her about it yeah um
i was actually debating whether watching that last night with liana because we're on it it's
been on there for a while it's a canadian series and it's called slasher has two seasons and we're
like what is this and sometimes it's something looks so canadian we don't watch it because it's
so cheap looking where it's the most hd of hd film and you're just like oh it's just has that
distinct canadian hd charm quote unquote stop hitting on corner gas that wasn't even hd it's not
even what i'm talking about i know i know gas has like an actual rustic canadian charm through it
but this yeah i might give it a go because we're we're not sure uh i might look up some reviews
and then maybe give it a go because we just started watching mr robot as well so i don't
think i can jump on something new quite yet but we'll see i might give it a go kevin says woolly
won't go in the teleporter but i know that motherfucker owns a bed he still thinks the same
woolly that went to sleep is the one that woke up god damn it there is a there is a uh there is a
that fucking gets to me well you know the you know the uh the um that gets to me you know the
parable slash metaphor of uh jason and the argonauts boat right what's that okay it's very
simple so jason and the argonauts leave to go get the fleece right so they got the fucking boat
and they are they hit some rocks so they uh they patch up the the part of the boat that gets
broken off right now there's a big fucking storm okay well they they hack down some trees
and uh you know they were replaced replacement they well when does one boat stop stop being the
boat yeah no i i thought you're going a completely different direction it wasn't that i was thinking
more so just the you that is that wakes up in the morning is not the same you that went to bed
well no it's not chemically you're not all the subdivision of den dying of cells you're like
one percent different or some shit but it but this being the idea that's like in fact there was no
yesterday this is all oh you're latching on to that there was no yesterday that's the true nightmare
yeah that's the bad one you can't live your life with that can't deal that's too much can't deal
it's like outside your window is just a bunch of like a huge pile of woollies that just died
but that was you going to sleep yeah so don't worry about it you don't know what happens
hey prestige woolly uh and then here i guess you can film yourself sleeping yeah yeah even then
thus starts the new extra crazy arc i'm fucking out i have to pair i have to i have to
videotape myself sleeping to make sure i don't appear i'm so i'm so tapped at like i know i want
nothing to do with it i'm glad we've discovered a new weakness that's that's a bad hey woolly did
you know that reality just started five seconds ago um you have to reboot reality hey guys every
time you close your eyes it's like a micro death savate wolf says uh been a big fan since uh the
fiska video with the old tree fighter character concept art and the one where you guys created
zubas anyway i remember uh woolly's talking about name pronunciations and gas coin and with you guys
playing tokyo mirage sessions reminded me of the fire emblem fan base and it's constant arguing
about the names yeah characters like sida which are which pronounced sida like caesar even though
kaiser whatever um and tharja uh who's the best character fight me which is pronounced tharja
were amongst the most argued and it wasn't until warriors when all things finally put them to rest
because that has a lot of voice acting so the one that surprised most of the fan base however
was the pronunciation of camis uh he was a character from the original fire emblem game
that has shown up in two or more mainline ones and the remakes but his name has never been spoken
until april ninth a couple weeks ago when nintendo held a live stream detailing some stuff
and fire emblem heroes finally revealed that his name was pronounced camu and what and not
camis like everyone thought it was shut up oh someone announced this so cam us becomes camu
and it was and like fans were upset about this 28 year old revelation of a pretty popular character
so cam us for 28 years everyone was just calling him camis and they recently came out and said it's
but camu nintendo made a character named samus samus samu samu maybe that's why they didn't
want the similar name so i want to ask you guys what's your favorite huge revelation about an
old series that rocked its fan base pretty hard it turns out it was gatsu yeah oh man like it i can't
what's a like what's a fucking giant ass retcon that like like blew everybody up
i don't know i can't think of anything that's a bad one you just you gave the big one that's
wolf fucking camu well turns out it was mario it was arith after all hmm i mean it was never
confirmed but when i heard years and years later like oh squall dies in the middle of final fantasy
eight i was like that's so cool but i mean super unproven super unproven when the remake comes out
it's going to be too far just the fuck with everybody stop it tiffa ah oh look there's
clued strife oh claud was the claud claud was the one forever oh yeah because of the proud claud
was supposed to be the proud cloud but in english it's written the proud claud c l o d which made
people think oh they're both the same in japanese that means the pronunciation we should be using is
claud not claud because they're crazy yeah and and you know he his best friend was zatch well
what's that thing where nintendo confirmed that while the weegee is like uncircumcised just
there was that thing going around for a while yeah man yeah man it's it's lower and no one was
expecting it i remember that i remember that that was real hmm yeah remember you know sometimes
inquiring minds need to be finally woke that's why he's so good at tennis yeah because it's
yeah he's got he just puts the extra spin on it with the ma
i think that one yeah that's that's mine it's a good one that's a guy no finally breaks the
i had i had forgotten about that until you mentioned that's really good
and lastly let's take one that's a fucking a plus banger man
that's that's fine
you can't tie it i get it and lastly are you looking it up no no i'm writing it down
oh i see i see here's one coming in from caps lock araujo
um is this thing all in caps well i've seen that i've seen that name around yeah so
it seems familiar yeah uh hey uh food possessed brands can robots be ambidextrous can robocop
be ambidextrous i would assume that robocops are defacto ambidextrous and the terminator how
about android 18 yeah totally how about hk 47 absolutely i think yeah not to guide the conversation
but giving it a lead in if you need it human brains have a right and left side with different
functions and priorities so humans are more proficient than others with the right side
others left skills for both etc robots don't have a right side and a left side they have arms
robocop and android 18 come from human minds but they've been cyber enhanced specifically for
combat so for robot or an android or a cyborg can't differentiate between left or right
regarding aiming in combat or general handling they don't have a priority side aren't they all
ambidextrous or is that concept even concept even applicable my point is if a robot can't use can
use both sides to attack equally at all times that's right any robot using single weapons or
two-handed weapons is suboptimal simply due to the fact that having two weapons with equal skill
is the main advantage of being ambidextrous as you doubles your bullet count target count
gives you a spare gun in case one of your arms goes out or you lose one gun the mechanical
build of any cyber creation could easily compensate for recoil specifically in combat models and
being able to shoot multiple targets for longer with the same precision would be more useful
than an increase in damage output that's why in the remake robocop got two guns
just some sci-fi banter for the podcast one shotgun versus two submachine guns for example
i think it's really interesting to bring up robocop because i was like no but i'm like wait
he does the spinning thing with his gun because he watched the because he's because he's still a
human brain in there yeah so like yeah he might now so the real distinction must be made between
cyborgs and robots is the brain human or not yeah right is it based on their brain at all yes and
this is of this reminds me of the fun discussion i would always get into with uh my other mecha
friend uh that you know and like we would fucking go in on on on like robot designs about like
things in practice terms of practicality and efficiency and whatnot and i'd always rip
them apart every time because i'm like look at some point you have to acknowledge that legs
are just not a practical idea in most scenarios there's some that occasionally come up like geckos
with their maneuvering of the with the with the fucking weird like getting in between buildings
things have a situation where legs can do shit and sometimes there's legs that are like made for
getting over particular types of terrain but a lot of the time you like having legs is just an
easier to fall over weapon that wouldn't be that you'd be better off with tank wheels unless you're
going in specific specific you're talking about explicitly robots that never ever have to go
inside a building or deal with like jungle terrain yeah guess what the robots that we love have to
go inside build a lot of them don't though you're you're fucking full of shit i don't want to live
i know i know but it's hilarious because i was like i love those designs too but
like we can't get into the real talk because the real talk it's like j-hootie never has to
fucking land yeah he does he lands all of time but j-hootie barely no has no feet down there
because j-hootie's just floating yeah it's cool it is cool yeah i agree yeah but at some point
when you want to talk about efficiency it's like you can just make a big thing of metal with weapons
on it no guess what and and defense no and it doesn't have to look like a human being at all
no they're gonna find a fucking design document for orbital frames that says this is a bunch of
important shit in the legs and they have to be separated as the balance it's fucking cool and
it's the best the rule but we have to acknowledge if we're trying to get into real because it was
real robot versus super robot and stuff like that we're talking about if you want to get into practicality
you have to acknowledge that the desire to make it look like a human yeah is just for aesthetics
and it has no practical purposes are bearing humans are designing robots they will always
not make them look like cubes with weapons yes they will always try to make it at least something
that you can be intimidated by whether it be the human form or like a dragon's horde or whatever
like so but if a robot designs a robot robot will make it just efficient a hundred percent yes
the shag a hard is a weapon that looks like i could i could possibly believe it also also because
it's fucking like it's wheels the mechanics behind its physics actually like there's a basis check out
it's not it's it's like it's still absurd but it's it's like and you don't okay wait that's there's
a there's at least a physics concept and you don't blow up the wrecks ankle and watch the whole
thing go down it's not working on the dumb you're not on designed it to have flaws like animal
animal principles of walking and design and balance and whatnot should not you like again if you
want to get dumb and real big dog big dog can walk on all sorts of shit and megabots don't
forget and get kicked and not fall down don't forget megabots those things are dumb in the
if you put fucking banana peels on them before everything's fucked those videos of them just
kicking the shit at a big dog make me super nervous i yeah uh like there's an episode of
black mirror about that yeah um i fucking love the cool shit and i want it to never be different
but the moment you sit me down you know what you try and you try to come up with the reasons why it
would be you know what you are a good idea or practical i'm like you come the fuck on you're
the fucking guy in the science meeting when you do when the rx-78's getting designed they get
thrown at the fucking no way no way i'm the guy proposing it but i'm proposing it and then they go
when they want the bullet list of reasons why we're making it the number one is because it's
fucking rad that's bolded and underlined and i think well they would just be happy to be there
you want to be telling them i'm saying have no illusions about your reasons call it rad because
it's rad i think don't think it's real i think the design that makes me the most upset is the
gundams that have their lower legs swapped out for tank treads gun tanks and stuff it's this weird
awful in between where they they acknowledge that practical reality yeah but still have a goddamn
torso sitting on it and it's like no shut up you're ruining it you're ruining it well you are
ruining the desire to have it to have it look like a human is entirely based out of a desire for
cool shit now obviously this changes when you talk about cyborgs because if it's a cyborg that means
it's a person at some level and a person's probably more comfortable in something that looks like a
human body until ghost in the shell when you put them inside little boxes with bug legs where that's
a thing yeah whatever cyberbred talking about robocop it's put into whatever robocops cool i know
real sci-fi not ghost in the shit right and even then it talks about bitches leave man i'm not to
mention like why wouldn't you just put yourself into like a thing with infinite limbs with like
infinite if you can handle it i guess and i'm not sure how many limbs do you want how many can i get
no that's not that's you can get a maximum of one thousand because again at some point if the
aesthetic of a human is not important to you yeah why would you have extra limbs well it's more
just like do you want to be a cool-looking human or do you want to have supreme functionality
and optimized everything right i'll like i'll look like goro but i don't look like seven goro like
what would you know it's more right now it's more along the lines of and it goes into our our
terminator salvation discussion right oh no it gets into that a little bit it's like why would
there be a pen in a chair on that desk why would there be lights and stairs in a thing where only
robots and farms are being printed and born human production designers at some point we're gonna
fucking make the skynet base but then you want to zoom out from that thing and you go why is a t100
we're never gonna get away from why is a t100 not rolling on on ball that's why wheels super fast
3d movie the ride thing actually had a skynet where i'm like okay sure it's just geometric shapes
moving around and crap it's so you have a giant human skeleton hold on you have a giant human
skeleton robot walking on two feet very slowly and then using both arms to aim one gun at john
carner it was trying to be to get infiltrated into that kind of full people at a distance
by covering it with gleaming steel yeah but if the robot just wanted to kill humanity as
efficiently as possible that would be a thing that was just like a bunch of wheels and guns
rolling really fast shooting everything there's think of robot wars oh yeah i was i was actually
there's been a lot of stupid things that we've latched on to as like things to rally against
with too much passion yeah but the one that i've noticed we've gone back to the most is the pen on
that desk like anything anything that fuck and the valve and the fucking hand valve in the in the
factory but it's because the contrast when you see a moment of these things rips the whole thing
it's like honestly honestly it's been blown out of proportion where i'm the 99% sure there was no plan
there was there was a valve there was a valve there was a flood light there was flood lights
in a chair i remember seeing a chair there was an office chair but but there was paperwork there
and a snow globe but figure just a fucking terminator looking at a chair and just not knowing
what to do i hang in there poster and a water cooler it has a little endoskeleton kitty on it
but here's the problem think about those rolling things from star wars uh from yeah the ones you
love that shit because it's fiction annihilating and you're going oh my god those things are the
they're unstoppable they ever deal with them with their lights you can't win so they're like it's
like the problem of a stupid fucking robot going like walking one foot by one foot and doing the
double aim with the big rifle versus rolling death why wouldn't a machine design rolling death
you know i know i know and then grievous later on yes just cheating and he has with all the
lightsabers it's like why does every robot not just why does grievous have four lightsabers
why doesn't he have like 400 lightsabers is he like a weird lizard because he had a heart
because he's a lizard so they had an excuse to say oh there might have been a reason why he was
forced using using light where like scientists like the baby daddies of skynet were like tinkering
with cyborgs and then skynet just repurposed the shit that was already in the data banks or something
like that you know you know the the the the enemies from uh uh uh fucking all you need is kill slash
yeah right um i keep saying day after tomorrow but it's it's oh yeah that's that's that's it's
real title yeah but um edge of tomorrow edge of tomorrow those things are like in my head kind of
like if you want it to just kill humans as a as an ai like that was evolving they were really fast
you just roll these fucking and they had a thousand limbs and they're just sonic spin
balling at you and you have no chance that that's what she got is what skynet would be putting out
i think me and and eventually it would at you at some point starts off slow what is this what is
legend r t-1000 like you no one should be able to be the t-1000 ever yeah it's ridiculous that he
lost science fiction so it is ridiculous but science fiction needs to acknowledge that like
there's a level tx and even more reason to never lose i always thought the tx was a
fucking downgrade from the t-1000 how okay because it has a physical body that you can smash no but
here's what's fucking stupid though when they're having a fucking they're having a fist fight and
it's like why would you even have a fist fight and throw punches and shit why wouldn't the tx just
start spinning it's top and just spin until everything was fucking wrecked just to take your
waist and and just fucking spin fighter and you're not even off base because it does something
a bunch of those from time to time so it was like the wrong way and it flipped the other way like
no don't do that to correct yourself and then throw inferior punches do things that only
machines can do spin like fucking sonia make your legs kick in bullshit ways because only you can do
that robots and hearing to human ideologies of how to fight is dumb okay so remember at the end of
t2 but it's cool when it looks like us the terminator so let's just call it what it is
turn it throws a punch and it hits the head of the t-1000 yeah then the head morphs into its hand
yeah holding its fist and i'm like it never should have lost well more than that why didn't it just
form its head back around the fist and just keep it and then he would have two stabby fists to stab
with or why doesn't he hold them there and have a hundred blades just come out of his chest if two
terminators are fighting and you can make out what they're doing to each other that's a bad robot
it's not no you know what i mean t-800s they uh no they they are very limited design but yeah if it's
the t-1000 or the t-x even then yeah or if it's to face young connor robot cyborg whatever nanobots
whatever it was robots he did bullshit he did flash stepping yeah but no robots they should just be
like fucking swinging every limit every direction really hard to kill if you're doing melee and if
you're doing guns so you're just shooting everywhere so what you want as well not what i want no shut up
it's not what i want what you want as the final ultimate battle in t2 is fucking bart and lisa
spinning their arms and legs at each other so really what you want is a realistic down-to-earth
robot apocalypse that's swarming with magic robots and magic i'm saying all i want is every i want
us to acknowledge yes that robots look like people because that's cool yeah and that's the
only reason why hey his question except for occasionally the terrain thing his question
really he said i just want to spur sci-fi talk you sure got it yeah i think i think deep down
i think you're full of shit and i think you think that spinning top robot shit is cool no i think
you think that's cool i i think it's cool i let's be let's just brass tacks a gun with wheels on it
yeah why would you need anything else it can't go upstairs it yeah bro a gun with a jetpack
okay what you're saying is a gun with just mobility you mean a drone with a gun on it
it's like a little quadcopter it can't get inside place i mean i mean matrix's gun doing the death
blossom you want the little robot from okay you want the little robot from dark mirror from black
mirror black mirror that's a that's a fucking that's that's that's that's what about that stuff what about
those fucking uh spiders that inject acid into you the gene Simmons made that one time whoa oh god
those those okay those rolling robots from fucking phantom menace yeah but they have
two heads facing both ways and guns facing both directions and why why two ways why four four
well why would no more you spin all just spin it every way yeah i agree fucking you know that you
know i was trying to pare it down and you're right you know that indian movie robot yes that's
what you want i just every direction turns into a big snake guess what you're dead that was the first
you have no chance because the fight a million robots that look like dudes but then they just
turn into a ball and i guess a ball's really good yeah that ball's a very strong robot because it's
a million robots how would snake beat that yeah sneak they created a flaw they put in a flaw to
the ball if you if you shine light into sunglasses he doesn't like if pass things it gets all sad
yeah i'm tired all right i have what's what's what's what's what's coming out uh
just make a bomb he asked that he has a why doesn't it become a bomb forget me it doesn't
work like that guns explosives of chemicals moving pots it's very complicated why is a bomb
is just a big kill so wait wait wait why doesn't the tx just turn into a bomb because the t-800 has
a bomb in it that's the how they win they're all bombs because i'm not sure the tx had bombs too
why didn't you have bombs because if he explains that the t-800 models had like a chunkier like
older style powering system the tx is so okay but then why doesn't the t-800 just bomb
why wouldn't skynet sarah connor in the factory oh that that's because that's a retcon why wouldn't
skynet just just weaponize ebola into everything and just fucking go chemical on it maybe bold
doesn't exist because he cares no i have it i have it i have the solution i have the solution is a
big solution got it right all right let's go so they know sarah conners in los angeles right yeah
it's los angeles yeah okay so what they do is they send a flesh covered nuke back in time
is it in the shape of a nuke no yeah fine it's just a bit why does it have flesh because it's
gonna look pretty suspicious no but no no no no no no it is just a fridge nuke covered in skin
yes so that it goes back in time because father time was watching this humans go back
he's no robot naked hubert and he sees the robot it's oh i see that robot flesh nuke and he's like
oh no yeah that's that's okay that's a weird flesh ones let it go that goes yeah you gotta be naked
gotta be naked man and then they fall off the los angeles and problem solved yep flesh flesh nuke
i don't think it didn't have that it just didn't have the technology i it's super hesitate i think
it's because kind of used all the the nukes they already shot them all over the world oh they
could make a new one i'm sure maybe and it would be way more fucking megatons than anything else in
the in the modern day maybe they didn't have the codes for everyone i want to also nukes and gas
but why are we even fucking with wheels and guys why why wouldn't robots just kill everybody with
nukes and guys i want to walk up to james caren and be like hey why didn't the terminators just
throw a flesh nuke back in time i hope you're not fired for that and he's like how did you know
the plot of the new terminator oh man why do we even tell stories yeah really if we can poke holes
in the white for what what's the point for why dar just darmak and gelata tenagra shaka the flesh
nuke uh did you see james caren's quote the other day no they're like how are their avatar sequels
doing and he goes i sure hope people get tired of these fucking avenger movies oh i don't like
it when people are making more money than me oh that's just great he's gonna hate avatar by the
end of his life when you're making five of them he's gonna really not like it anymore that's that's
hilarious that's like hilarious in that quiet way yeah you just enjoy it's like that bit where you
see george lucas in the plinket bit where he's like look he looks annoyed that someone's making
more money than yeah when he's mentioning titanic he's like no one can be titanic no one ever will
turns out to have cameras the same way yeah how about that so yeah well i don't know what's coming
out oh avengers next week you're gonna see well this weekend is it this weekend yes should we get
tickets that's gonna happen mine the my showing i'm going to is like sold out uh what is is anything
coming out there's like a little game or two but nothing major oh well i mean yeah i know nothing
shit i gotta i gotta get on that is everybody in here up to date on the marvel shit i am i am
awesome great i'd say so i think uh you're ready for a fucking spoiler cast on monday for sure
yeah with the exception with the exception of wherever agents of shield wet which is not doesn't
matter anymore i don't think it matters then no i've seen them all no i think we're good um what are
you guys doing i don't know uh in the abstract i'm getting older and older every day i've like
there's gray in here man there's gray in the spirit new lp starts tomorrow another new lp yeah
another new lp william me are doing it it's good it's real good pat and i are gonna see if we can
find nope don't even the whole reason we scheduled it that way was to avoid something so don't even
okay weird look forward to tomorrow at three p.m that's true and uh well god of war is gonna
continue obviously yeah god of war continues for sure and and all dozens of you that have been
watching sharp fe can continue to enjoy it yes i promise that i i eventually do figure out how to
fuck is this happening again what is going on i do figure out the multiple ways that they
indicate a session is ready to go okay yeah that whole session that we just recorded that
hasn't even gone up exactly exactly so i promise that does occur the main thing is i i'm checking
to see which turn order i should attack first yeah that's always rough but you know um yeah well it
was going on versus uh well the the the the guilt-free honeymoon i had for putting reboot out
is now at a close already uh yeah that was fast i get to continue feeling guilty about not making
things fast enough so i'm gonna try my hardest to get something up soon i have content it's just
not edited yet oh that's the worst part though but we did get out uh porn three sorry we're just
calling it porn three oh yes porn three the implication is just over and you're just calling
the series porn i think you rebooted porn and now we're on the third one yeah no it was a bold new
direction for porn no porn woolly versus porn porn infinite was really just not whatever you
would want it porn the fate of two worlds clash of the sneer i'd love to see porn clash of the
new heroes oh hey man what's going on over to flop house i'm taking a look at a horror game tonight
called paratopic it's weird i've heard of that what it's like it's lynchian oh no it's very strange
and then uh matt's palace of persia starts on wednesday that's the eight-part thing eight-part
retrospective of fuck it all just had the headed off of the past of assassins creed retrospective
of jake gillard hall you know i touch upon that you could have really gone really wild with it and
said virtual fire uh are you gonna be streaming this week or here's your computer still fuck my
computer i data is saved oh good which is nice i should hopefully get it back on wednesday so i
might stream like i don't know if i can friday saturday or sunday one of those days okay i don't
know which one though i'll probably stream war frames one of those days or maybe tactics i don't
know uh matt what's your twitch against matt mcmuscles or is it matthew matthew mcmuscles
yeah i'll probably stream warframe and fft intermittently over at angriest pat and uh
wait is that my fucking twit it is it is i always get confused um and uh at some point very shortly
might be tonight page and i are gonna finish the genocide run in uh the undertale no you're not
but okay dude i got i got dude that's on pizza live by the way i got i got fucking this close
dude i got to the last i get to the last last second cool like 10 times yep but just that yep
one last little spin that's the one dude yep been there it's bad that last spin probably represented
30 percent of my attempts it's it's real bad it's real probably yeah in proportion so yeah
i'm excited for more god of war right now that's a good game yeah i want to i want to
i'm excited for i was talking to plague about god of war and there's a lot of generic banter
that you get between the boy and kratos that is pretty much all great good kratos is really
bad at telling stories apparently well by not telling them yeah which is perfect it's just good
i haven't talked to a single person who dislikes that game well that's that's because what if
selda had a
now
love can kill love will die give me wings to fly
fleeing this world so cold i just wonder why
why
cold as a dark now my words are frosted with every breath
still the heat burns wild growing inside this heart when the wind changes course
when the stars lie i will reach out to you and leave this all behind when heavens be
alive
when heavens divide i will see the choices within my hands how can we ever protect and fight without
tiny so let me shine like the sun through the dials and fear do you feel the strong
approach as the air draws near when heavens divide time will come to stop and lay me down
then i can see a place that i long to see and for you i will i will give anything
leaving a trace for love to find the way when heavens divide
me
i will lie into the fire stirring the blood of my desire
last time my name is crossed into the sky when heavens divide i will see the choices
within my hands how can we ever protect and fight without tiny so let me shine
like the sun through the dials and fear do you feel the strong approach as the air draws near
when heavens divide time will come to stop and lay me down then i can see a place that i long to see
and for you i will i will give anything leaving a trace for love to find the way
when heavens divide
and for you i will i will give anything leaving a trace for love to find the way
when heavens divide
you