Chapo Trap House - 486 - Eel Dealings (1/4/21)
Episode Date: January 5, 2021We ring in the New Years with Trump’s second perfect phone call, Andrew Cuomo as Liberal Trump, Pelosi’s re-election, and end with some discourse on The Discourse....
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Greetings and salutations from the other side of 2021.
Hello friends.
It's Chapo.
We're back again coming at you on this Monday evening.
Joining me are Felix and Matt for this episode.
And I think we should kick off this episode and kick off this new year with the latest
perfect phone call to be introduced by our president.
It's probably one of the most perfect phone calls I've ever heard.
But we've been playing recently a lot of the audio clips that have come out of the Trump's
attempt to overturn the results of the election and sort of bargain his way out of losing
this election.
And this latest phone call, which is like an hour of him talking on the phone to lawyers
and the Georgia Secretary of State, is pretty special.
I mean, like right before we started recording, Chris mentioned that anytime you get to hear
Trump talk on a phone call, like just sort of uncensored, like the real uncut dope, it's
something special and it's something that we should celebrate while we still have it
because it won't be around for much longer.
So yeah, so the context of this is that this is a phone call that the Georgia Secretary
of State, like Trump was just calling him up to just sort of basically harangue him
into giving him 11,000 more votes based on all of the, you know,
Just hit, you got some votes.
What are you going to do?
Just give me the votes.
Just give me a few of the votes.
He sounded like a, like Gil in like a later era, Simpson season, you know, like, just
oh, come on now.
Very sweaty.
Oh, this is bad.
This is really bad.
You're working your slave and your steel just enough for a sweet lick of that shiny
brass ring.
Don't I get a lick?
Doesn't Gil get a lick?
Oh, Gil, you know, yo, Gil knows you got some votes in those Dominion machines.
Sometimes they scan them three times.
I'll tell you, I'll tell you what.
You've heard that, haven't you?
You've heard it.
Of course you've heard about the scanning.
You've heard the scanning.
There's a lot of really choice bits in the phone call, but like it basically is just
him reciting as fact everything he's been told over the last month to people who are
like, again, I should be stated here are like Republican state officials and lawyers who
have been like appointed by Trump supporting governors to fucking like do their best to
humor him.
And he keeps saying things like we have all the results are certified.
These are certified.
And he keeps saying it over and over again.
And they just have to keep telling him that that's not true or that like it just like,
I don't know.
Chris, let me play the first clip.
Let's just get into this.
I don't want to get into it because we found a way another state slater, excuse me, but
we don't need it.
It's rolling down 11,000 votes.
Yeah, run that back.
I don't want to get into it because we've found a way another state slater.
I heard it.
Yeah.
Oh, there it is.
There's a couple of times I didn't hear it.
It's like a magic eye painting though.
It popped out eventually.
All right.
Well, yeah.
He, he, he absolutely lets one rip in this Giuliani style.
You got to, you got to figure that there's like a skid, like a light brown skid.
He's the bronze.
Maybe like a bronze going on.
Yeah, maybe, maybe like a just like an oil spill almost working on their car.
Yeah.
Um, no, yeah.
It is, he is, this is like why he got elected in the first place though, because he does
say excuse me, like he was coughing and, uh, you know, people like that.
Yeah, yeah.
It's classy.
Yeah.
Um, but I have to say, I'm like, I don't know.
I know Will said like with the cherished this because it's like the end of this, but
like, I don't know, I've just hated this entire storyline so much like at first it was kind
of funny when he was like, um, just like calling people up and being like, can I please win
the election?
And they're like, no, but it just, I don't know, it just, it reminded me of like why
culture was so bad during the last four years because it was just like, yeah, like a fucking
idiot, uh, impugning, like people are pretty much as bad, if not worse than him to like
do something that they would do normally that he just didn't have a plan for.
And then people trying to sell a book by like saying that it was the same as the Reichstag
fire.
Right.
Uh, and just that for like three awful months, I'm, I'll be really happy when this one's
done.
I'll be very happy.
I'll have rules to overturn the election and install, uh, Trump has got emperor.
It'll be a nice way to get this stuff off of the headlines.
I'm just, I'm just like sick of the, the Trump thing.
Like it's four years and just like, I don't know, nothing's gotten better.
No one's come up with a novel angle.
It's just like different people trying to sell their books called like, you know, fascism
with a red, white and blue stripe and, or, you know, people like Lynn Wood also trying
to sell something.
I'm, I don't know.
I like, I would take any Biden gap over this.
I'm so looking forward to that over whatever the fuck this is.
Okay.
Well, let's just, let's see if we can squeeze just a little bit more juice out of this lemon.
I have, I have two more clips from the call that I'd like to, that I'd like to play.
So the next one is like the, is sort of the, um, the, uh, the highlight that, uh, everyone's
been pointing to because it does seem to point to the most, you know, open evidence
of just a felony being committed.
Oh yeah.
Just wild crimes.
Criminate it up, climbing it up and the beauty of it is the reason he can do this, people
are baffled.
How could he do this?
Doesn't he know he's being recorded?
Uh, is one, he already got, uh, acquitted by the Senate for accused bad phone call having
where he just said crimes and, uh, two, many people have now said this is that a prosecutor
would have a very difficult time proving intent behind anything Trump says publicly or privately
because there's no way that you can convincingly show that he knows what he means when he says
things.
If anything, because to get like for him to be a crime, you would have to prove that
Trump was telling him in his mind, Hey, I will punish you with criminal charges.
If you do not fabricate votes for me, be a jury would be very hard to be.
It wouldn't be hard to convince a jury that Trump doesn't think that, that he doesn't
understand that, that he saw some very troubling numbers, some very big numbers.
These are syphers.
These are real numbers.
We got them.
We see them.
We know we have the votes.
The votes are there.
I've seen him that he believes that because his brain is fucking cottage cheese.
And even if it isn't, even if he's some sort of mastermind, his public profile, he's like
Vincent the chin gigante.
You can't prove that he's compost Mentos to be liable for anything.
It's also like, I mean, like even if he like you could argue that he knew what he was saying,
it's like they're just, he's never going to go to prison because then they all have to
go to prison.
Yep.
Like I don't know.
We're not going to go to jail.
It's against the rules.
We're not going to see a president go to jail until the very end because the president's
job, you know, as the figurehead and you know, sometimes custodian of empire is to do tons
of illegal shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No one's going to take that job and execute it to the way it needs to be.
If there's any, any thought that they might face any accountability for their actions
in power.
So that everyone has to agree that that doesn't happen.
Yeah.
Joe Biden like had like probably explicitly doesn't want to see Trump prosecuted 100% right
because it's like, no, people need to see that even he gets away with it.
Yes.
And the because you have two parties that are supposed to switch off once in a while,
like that's how it works.
People get pissed at the one and then they switch over to the other.
They have, they only give that power overwhelmingly because they know that when they're out of
power, they're not going to be punished.
And as soon as somebody gets punished for something, like if Democrats prosecute Trump,
they know that when Republicans get in, they're going to fucking prosecute them because everybody
could go down because that's the job is doing crimes.
Well, I mean, just specifically on the issue of doing crimes and then having, having your,
you know, intent to commit crimes, be recorded on a phone call that then gets published in
the national press.
I would say that this hour long phone call of him haranguing these people would be to
a jury, pretty good evidence that he believed everything he was saying.
So IE, no felony.
Like he really does think those votes are out there and he believes he's seen the votes.
He's seen the votes.
Have you, I mean, his fucking defense in court would just be that his, his lawyers would
just bring out the fucking TV shows he was watching that they would just show the episodes
of Newsmax that he was watching and tell the jury, this is what he was seeing.
And he just absorbs it like a sponge.
All right, let's play the next audio clip that you shared because you want to get to
an honest election.
I won this election by hundreds of thousands of votes.
There's no way I lost Georgia.
There's no way we won by hundreds of thousands of votes.
I'm just going by small numbers when you add them up there, many times the 11,000.
But I won that state by hundreds of thousands of votes.
Now, do you think it's possible that they shredded ballots in Fulton County?
Because that's what the rumor is.
And also that Dominion took out machines, that Dominion is really moving fast to get
rid of their machinery.
Do you know anything about that?
Because that's illegal.
No, but have they moved the inner parts of the machines and replaced them with other
parts?
No.
Did you?
Brian?
I'm sure.
I'm sure, Mr. President.
What about the shredding of the ballots?
Have they been shredding ballots?
The only investigation that we have into that, they have not been shredding any ballots.
There was an issue in Cobb County where they were doing normal office shredding, getting
rid of old stuff.
And we investigated that, but this is stuff from past elections.
I don't know.
And that's what I found out.
It doesn't pass the smell test, though, because we hear they're shredding thousands and thousands
of ballots.
And now what they're saying, oh, we're just cleaning up the office.
I don't think that plays a big role.
Mr. President, the problem that you have with social media, people can say, no, no, this
isn't social media, this is Trump media.
I don't care about social media.
I couldn't care less.
Social media is big tech.
Big tech is on your side, you know?
I don't even know why you have a side, because you should want to have an accurate election.
There we go.
As long as it's not social media, it's Trump media.
Trump media, that's good.
By the way, we should have put a warning on that.
That's what you just heard was very upsetting.
It was basically you were hearing the planning of the Holocaust.
Yeah.
That's the WANC conference.
Yeah, it's brutal.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
I couldn't find this on the call, but this is just a quote I have from him talking
to one of the guys, Brad Raffensperger, the Georgia Secretary of State, and he just
says, they're going around playing you and laughing at you behind your back, Brad.
Do you know it or not, they're laughing at you.
They're not laughing at you, Brad.
They're not laughing at you.
What's funny is this, this comes on the eve of the big, the planned Trump protests in
Washington and then also Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley have each taken up their own ridiculous
effort to claim that the results and only the states that would have mattered to the
election need to be recertified or that the electors can be impeached or some bullshit
like that.
I mean, they know it's just for show.
I mean, they're just showing out for 2024.
But I wonder, had they known that this phone call was going to get leaked the day after
they announced all of their efforts, I mean, it is pretty funny for them because they're
just saying that, no, this is about, we just need to reinstall confidence in the electoral
system because lots of people believe the shit that we tell them.
So therefore, we have to have, I think one of them, I forget if it's Cruz or Hawley,
but they're suggesting with some sort of blue ribbon committee where it's just like one
Democrat and one Republican form an independent panel to certify the results of only those
specific states.
And by the way, only the presidential results, not certify or even look into at all any of
the congressional races, like those people are going to be seated just no problem.
The thing that Cruz is referencing is what they did to resolve the disputed election
of 1876, the Hays-Tilden election, which hinged on disputed electoral votes from a few Southern
states.
And the way it was resolved was Congress created an independent commission with three members,
Democrat, Republican, and I believe associate justice, the Supreme Court, and over negotiation
that ended with the agreement for the Republicans to hold the White House, but in exchange would
end federal reconstruction and occupation of the South, they let the third guy say it
was Hays.
The thing is, is that they fucking amended the Constitution after that to make sure that
that never happened again.
That was a breakdown that the system literally did fix.
So they're just making something up.
And then I guess the other rub that came out of this is that a lot of these Republican
office holders and pundits are now to deflect away from the call itself for saying things
like, what kind of a man records a phone call and then leaks it to the press?
That is an absolute violation of the road.
That is, okay, if you're having a phone call with the president of the United States where
he attempts to suburn felonies or suborn felonies from you, and you record that phone call
so you can't be blackmailed later, that is female tendencies.
That is absolute female tendencies.
But I don't know, it's just like, yeah, these are the last gasps of the Trump administration.
He's going out with a phone call, not with a bang, but with a phone call.
He just wanted someone else to take care of it.
He just assumed it's because his whole life has been just having incoherent conversations
with people who wanted something from him.
And it's turning out that since he actually lost the election, and it's not in anyone's
real interest to break the rules, break the structure we have, just to keep him in office,
they don't need anything from him anymore.
So now they're not actually doing it.
They're just sort of waving their hand around instead of writing down on the paper.
And now he's seeing the result of that.
It'll be very funny to see him and, of course, his followers absorbing the reality of it.
Also, there is definitely a grim comedy to all of these Republican state officials now
going on TV and weeping that their wives are getting death threats from unhinged Trump
supporters after they've been openly identified with this conspiracy to steal the election
from him.
Or it's like, it reminds me of all of the Brexit coverage about the millionaire Eel salesman
who have now discovered that their Eels are dying at Calais, or the guy who needs to export
his sex arses, but they're going to have to pay the sex arses, mate.
You could not find a more sympathetic cast of victims here.
Yeah, you remember the guy in Georgia who cried because Trump supporters were bothering
his wife?
He said in an interview, like, Aaron Mathew sent this to me, where he's like, I know what
election fraud looks like because I work with the Contras.
It's like, no, yeah, it's like, you know, that's almost like a hack line break joke
that you'd see on like, you know, like Lefty Twitter, but no, he actually did it.
They're all actually all that bad.
They deserve, they all deserve everything that they're doing to each other.
I don't give a shit.
Well, I mean, moving on from the perfect phone call, I do want to talk about, I mean, just
like, OK, it's 2021 now, new administration.
And one of the things that you heard from certain quarters in the lead up to the election
is that, you know, if the Democrats win, you're not going to hear about COVID ever again.
And I don't know.
I mean, Biden still hasn't been inaugurated, but it seems like we're we're hearing quite
a lot about it because quite a lot of people are dying of it or just like, you know, the
second spike seems to be hitting us pretty fucking hard.
And to that end, I do want to talk about our going from one just shitheaded New York tyrant
to another Andrew Cuomo, our wonderful governor here in New York.
His latest.
Fuck you.
Oh my God, every every anti-Italian slur in the world comes to my mind when I think
of his name.
I don't I don't care how many day go giddy walk grease balls come out of the woodwork.
Matt Christmas never gets that vaccine.
But yeah, so like now now we're dealing with a situation where we have vaccinations available
and just if you're going off of New York state alone, the rollout of this vaccine has been
such a fucking disaster that like, I don't know, like up until like yesterday, they weren't
even vaccinating people on the weekends.
And then Cuomo has this new plan where only hospitals can administer them.
And then if they don't administer them, they'll be fine.
It's insane.
Oh, and if they give them to anyone who doesn't have a certification that they are in the
right part of the line for one, then they get fine.
That's that's what he's doing.
That's the activism of his government is we're going.
We are not doing anything to make this to make this a effective vaccine distribution
instead of using, you know, institutions that had been building up capacity up to this moment.
No, no, we're going to shoot it through hospitals.
We're going to do it by my direction because he's concentrating all powers in his hands
during this.
He's like doing a little secret like he's taking over more parts of like the budget
and shit.
He's literally like seizing power like Trump was supposed to do elections actually doing
Trump's like disaster capitalist, like grab for power, not fucking, uh, not Trump.
It's fucking Cuomo.
Yeah.
No, everything that people criticize about Trump is also very true about Cuomo, but Cuomo
actually does most of it.
Yeah.
Cuomo, Cuomo is, yeah, another fucking egomaniac who, yeah, thousands, thousands of people
are going to die from not having the vaccine because he, it's like he has to have his
fingerprints on it.
Yep.
And because of that, he, it's like, so we're in a situation where this is going to be botched.
There's going to be a lot of death and there's going to be corruption too.
Like people are going to jump the line.
It's New York.
There's a lot of rich people, a lot of influential people and it's, it's not going to go well.
It could go better if Cuomo wanted to be anything other than the fucking absolute piece of shit
Pricky was and wanted to keep all the like non-functional neoliberal structures of government
in place.
I mean, it's not just, yeah, Cuomo, Cuomo, like the Cuomo regime, it's like every like,
you know, parody of Soviet bureaucracy, but with the standards of life and regard for
human welfare of the current system.
And it can't do any better.
So what's he going to do to act like he's doing something just like he did when he told
everybody, oh, if you go out for a drink, even though she shouldn't be going out for
a drink, there's a fucking pandemic going on.
You got to make sure that you have a sandwich, not a chicken wing.
Like that's what he's doing.
That's his active participation in like, like saving lives.
Here it's, hey, hospitals, do an impossible thing.
Oh, they can't do the impossible thing.
Well, it's not because we didn't try because we're punishing them if they don't.
And that's it.
They can threaten them.
I mean, I then say, hey, we tried because we levied fines and we punish them even though
you're asking them to do something that they cannot do.
Well, yeah, this is, this is part of like his lead up for the presidency, I feel like
is his goal here is probably like, you know, to make some hospital administrator look bad
or ideally, you know, catch some sacrificial lamb rich.
Yeah.
One of the rich guys who hasn't donated to them and, you know, throw the book at them
for cutting in line and be like Cuomo stood up to, you know, COVID line breakers.
But here's the funny thing, if it was, if it was the, it was the distribution of any
other like needed life-saving government service, then like with things like, you know, people
coming in line or gaming the system, you know, like that, that's a big problem.
It's a big problem with vaccinations too.
I mean, I'm not sorry.
I don't mean how big a problem is, but like, I don't relish the thought of some rich asshole
getting special treatment to get a vaccine earlier in place of someone who more desperately
needs one.
But the problem with that is if you're, when you're talking about vaccinations, the end
goal is to get as many people vaccinated as possible.
So one person skipping in line at the expense of someone else is, you know, it's unethical
and probably criminal, but like, it's just like setting up all, I don't, I don't think
it demands setting up all of these fucking like penalties and whoops you have to go through.
Everybody's supposed to get vaccinated.
There is no way to give the wrong person a vaccination.
Exactly.
Exactly.
If the alternative is them not going to waste, which they will.
And yeah, that's the other thing is that there's an expiration date on these vaccines.
Yes.
They're giving them an impossible fucking math problem and it's a Kobayashi Maru.
So it's like,
There are situations now.
It's like, oh no, he skipped the line.
Good though.
It should have depended.
Yeah, exactly.
The trash, you fucking assholes.
Yeah, exactly.
Like if, if, if the, like, you know, and this is a very real thing, if the opportunity
is like someone skipping the line or getting the vaccine who isn't certified and like usually
the alternative is that vaccine going in the fucking garbage because it's going to be
like, it's going to, you know, be, be, you know, not useful.
It looks going to pass this expiration date.
And like pharmacies are getting to the point where they have like, you know, stockpiles
of vaccines that are going to go bad in like a couple of days and they just start handing
them out to people.
And under Cuomo's regime, they would be fine, like a hundred thousand or a million dollars
or something like that.
And, and, and those people that, that, that botching, that, that failure, that's compounding
the, the, the, the, the failure at the heart of the whole thing, the, the incompetent,
like, corrupt, privatized distribution in the first place, that makes it worse, but
it's necessary because otherwise how would you, as Cuomo, be able to point to having
done anything, even though the thing you did literally makes it worse and gets people
killed.
Right.
Yeah.
Um, and this is, you know, this speaks to the heart of the modern welfare state.
The biggest, the worst thing that could happen is not that not enough people get the thing.
It's that the wrong person gets it.
Yes.
And like, and, and Felix, to your point, like this is both about his, uh, management
style.
I mean, like the Albany Times Union has a story out today about how like, uh, like there
were just, there, there was, there were plans in place for a mass vaccination that much
of it was funded by millions of dollars in federal grant that had been like been in place
all summer long.
And as soon as these vaccinations came in, Cuomo and his administration has just seized
control of the vaccination program for themselves and are directing, like, you know, micromanaging
all of it.
And like all of these plans were set up in place so that like things like getting, um,
a COVID test would be like sort of a dry run where people could get them at, uh, low-income
health clinics or drive through places, like the same places that they had been administered
a test would give them the vaccine.
And now Cuomo is managing all of this personally and it is, of course, about seizing power
for himself and being able to go on TV and look better than Mayor de Blasio or look like
a national leader, but there's also, as you pointed out, there's like an ideological bent
to this as well, because like when you're dealing with a mass, like a public health
crisis that demands state action, like somehow, like no one asked them to do this.
It's not necessary.
They've come, they've come up with a way to means test it and create all of these hurdles
to fucking accessing the actual thing that they're supposed to be administering.
And also I'd like to point out just a little history lesson that I came across this week
that I think is very telling.
In 1947, there was a smallpox outbreak in Manhattan, and the city of New York vaccinated
six million people in less than a month, in less than a month, and I think like something
like 300,000 vaccinations have been used so far.
But that was in 1947, somehow there were state, there were like the state had capacity to
produce and administer six million vaccines to the entire city of New York.
All that capacity has been sold off.
Yeah, no, we got rid of it.
If there isn't 15 people with their fucking hand out, it isn't a transaction of any kind
of size in this country.
Yeah, no, all the public-private partnerships, the point of them is to add as many people
in between the person and the thing they need in the name of efficiency while simultaneously
making it cost more and causing less people to get it.
Creating phony baloney bureaucratic jobs at every fucking level, honeycombing throughout
the economy.
But I mean, this would be infuriating on its face alone, but the fact is that Cuomo has
suffered absolutely no hit to his reputation.
Oh, they love him.
At all.
They love him.
They love Cuomo.
This asshole had a book that came out this summer about like crisis and leadership and
dealing with the COVID pandemic as like a profile and courage and leadership to like
pad his eventual presidential run.
And I just actually wanted to read to you guys now the flap copy from that book, which
again came out this summer, New York Times bestseller, Governor Andrew Cuomo tells the
riveting story of how he took charge in the fight against COVID-19 as New York became
the epicenter of the pandemic, offering hard-won lessons in leadership and his vision for a
past forward.
When COVID-19 besieges the United States, New York State emerged as the global ground
zero for a deadly contagion that threatened the lives and livelihoods of millions.
Quickly, Governor Andrew Cuomo provided the leadership to address the threat, becoming
the standard bearer of the organized response the country desperately needed.
With infection rates spiking and more people dying every day, the systems and functions
necessary to combat the pandemic in New York and America did not exist.
So Cuomo undertook the impossible.
He united people to rise to the challenge and was relentless in his pursuit of scientific
facts and data.
He quelled fear while implementing an extraordinary plan for flattening the curve of infection.
He and his team worked day and night to protect the people of New York despite roadblocks
presented by a president incapable of leadership and addicted to transactional politics.
Yeah, real mere match there.
He did it.
He fixed it.
He fixed the COVID.
I assume sometime in the future.
Yeah.
Well, I mean, this is what liberals always wanted.
They wanted their own 9-11 and they got it.
Yeah, it means they're Gianni.
And he's also, honestly, he to me is becoming the closest thing we're going to see to like
a Democratic Trump in the sense that he is going to embody the worst, most sadistic side
of like liberalism.
The same way that Trump plays to all the darkest instincts within, you know, like the public
face of like conservative politics, Cuomo is just going to appeal to the idea that nothing
can get better in this country.
It's all the fault of conservatives and we're here to make them pay for it.
Yeah.
No, it is just a political program without any positive rights or things being given
to people, no alleviation of pain, just the constant wallowing in misery and righteousness.
Yep.
And getting to get just a secondary charge from seeing your enemies tormented by the
state, which is also tormenting you.
But that pain is their fault because things would be better if it wasn't for them.
He is probably the most ominous American figure in American politics right now.
Yeah.
He's a creep.
I'm not.
I'm, you know, Tom Cotton, Josh Hawley, like anyone you can name, yeah, repellent, but
it's like those guys aren't going to be president.
No way.
They're not.
They're Republican Liz Warren.
Yeah.
You know, they're talked up by people who just fucking read Axios all day and don't
realize that they'll just resign with a thud with voters.
They keep thinking that there is some sort of electoral advantage to having a ideologically
coherent synthesis of Trumpism, like that's what the voters are looking for.
Like, no, that's what you're looking for, you fucking dork.
Get off the internet for a minute.
Right.
But Cuomo's combination of megalomania and authoritarian personality and policies, I
think it appeals to a lot of Americans.
I hope, you know, maybe that he will end up like a Giuliani because that similar fears
about Giuliani.
And it turned out that the more people saw him outside of his own hometown, outside of
his own state, the less people liked him.
And then he just, you know, became the guy he is today, the guy who is videotaped every
three days jacking off at a remix office.
Maybe that will happen to Cuomo.
Maybe we'll get lucky.
But, you know, I am very fearful one day of a Cuomo presidency because it would be,
I mean, maybe he'd be, in some forms, he'd be our Ataturk, you know?
Oh, God.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He'd call back to some golden period of American empire, the Eisenhower years, there would
be some like mass killing event that he orchestrates.
I, yeah, no, that is possibly the darkest timeline that is possible.
I could definitely see him presiding over some sort of American P2 Lodge and then pulling
the strings from behind the curtain.
Can we see the clip of Cuomo talking at the press conference today?
This is just from this afternoon where he's justifying his, this sort of decreasing the
number of places you can get a vaccine and imposing stringent penalties on not using
the vaccine properly.
This is just, this is a press conference he gave just this afternoon.
Let's get a little taste of Cuomo here in our merits.
Health issue.
And Department of Health Commissioner Zucker is very firm about making sure the hospitals
step up and deliver here.
So any provider who does not use the vaccine could be fined up to $100,000.
Going forward, they have to use the allocation within seven days.
Otherwise, they can be, they can be removed from future distribution.
As you saw, we have almost 200 hospitals.
If one hospital isn't performing, we can use other hospitals.
I do have a problem with the hospitals saying they're going to participate, receiving a
scarce vaccine and not administering it.
But I have not heard any, any explanation other than it's only been three weeks and
not everybody comes in every day and people have different shifts, you know, so the bureaucracy.
I don't want the vaccine in a refrigerator, a freezer.
I want it in somebody's arm.
So yes, I'm being aggressive.
Yep.
I'm being aggressive.
I could, I'm not making it easier for people to get it in their arms like say, I don't know,
I'm doing vaccinations more than just from nine to five during business hours, like something
like that.
No, no, we're punishing people.
So he's saying he's like, yes, I'm sorry, I'm getting aggressive.
He's being aggressive to the hospital.
So like only they can distribute this vaccine and they have to use it within the time they
get it, which is like 10 days.
And they just say, hey, I just want them to give it to people.
But to give it to people, the people themselves have to be certified or something like that.
Yep.
Yep.
It's like, you're blocked on two ends.
You have to use the vaccine in the time you get it and you have to give it to the people,
but the people you're giving it to have to be certified, which is like a recipe for ending
up with vaccines just in the fucking toilet.
Yeah.
But somebody paid for it.
Because like if you're a hospital administrator and we know what fucking a penny-pinching
piece of shit they are, like you think it was going to come down to, oh, we have 300
doses of vaccines that are going to go off.
Should we squirt them down the fucking sink or just like line up 300 people and just stick
it in their fucking arm, regardless of who they are, or maybe if they've cut in line
and they haven't been certified yet.
What do you think they're going to do?
Face a $100,000 penalty for each dose or just fucking chuck them, just bin them?
Yeah, but the rules have been followed and that's the important thing.
What a fucking, what a piece of shit.
Yeah.
He's a, that's my dead zone guy.
Yes.
Andrew Cuomo.
Oh, creep.
That was great after he killed all those old people by putting COVID patients and nursing
people, yeah, and he's bragging about what a fucking disease he is, just, yeah, then
he would, but like, it's one thing to write a shitty book because like every rep, every
governor that, where there's like, you know, a milk truck crash that kills 47 people writes
a book that's called like, you know, honor and leadership or whatever.
But he would just go on TV and do like sub Dean Martin spaghetti fucking humor.
Oh God, him and his fucking brother, yucking it up on CNN.
It's the most disgusting.
Did you go to reality that these psychos think that that's cute?
Hey, I'm actually the favorite kid.
Hey, you have to send me pizza after Giants win.
Oh my God.
I've never like, I, I'm not going to say the next thing I was going to say is referencing
a famous, uh, parody event, but, uh, yeah, no.
That was one of the most repulsive fucking things I've ever seen.
Well, old people are just dropping dead directly because of what he did.
Like just fucking all, just a soulless person like anyone, everyone who, you know, made
like, made hay about Trump, like throwing the toilet, the paper towels, like a basketball.
That's your, it's like, what is different about anything Cuomo is doing?
What's different?
The only thing that's different is that like Trump is like, you know, medically has a 72
IQ.
That's the only thing.
Yeah.
He's more polite.
That's, that's the thing.
And that makes him, uh, that makes him a good person.
He's not even more polite.
He's a fucking.
No, he's polite in the sense that he says, I am a trans sex jet.
I am a black.
I am.
That was awesome.
I am transgendered.
That makes him a good person that he did the, he did the fucking lit me as a New Yorker.
I am a Muslim as a New Yorker.
I am Jewish as a New Yorker.
I am black.
I am gay.
I am disabled.
I am a woman seeking to control her health and her choices.
That was awesome.
When he just like did the, I think I can't wait till we find out what chemical they're
giving Democrats to fake cry because Schumer did it too.
Oh God.
Like they're in 20, 2017 was such an awesome year for this shit.
Or just like someone who's dedicated their life to evil since like 1971 gets up there
and they're like, I've been reading bell hooks.
Yeah.
I'm a woman.
I'm a wheelchair.
I'm, I'm a Jewish atheist.
Yeah.
But, uh, yeah, no, if you, if you're a Borat and you can convincingly make it look like
Cuomo is trying to take out his thing around an actress, you know, please do it because
we want to prevent an American out of Turk.
Yeah.
No, it's not going to be good.
It would actually accomplish a lot less than out of Turk, but you get what I mean.
No, all the bad stuff.
Another good parts.
Yeah.
We're basically an American Erdogan, you mean?
Yeah, actually.
Yeah.
No, he's, he would be exactly like an American Erdogan.
It's the modeling, whiny asshole just presiding over a brutal neoliberal austerity backed by
a mockish nationalism.
Yeah.
I was thinking about that Erdogan thing where he was like bitching about how unfair people
are doing.
Yeah.
And he's like, they've said awful things about me.
They've said I'm Greek.
They just said I'm Armenian.
It's so funny.
Fucking pizza shit.
Well, speaking of New York, did you guys see that Andrew Yang is probably going to run
for mayor of New York City and win?
Yeah.
People already recorded him.
The one thing we have not yet had, a epic Reddit mayor of New York.
And people already, people have recorded him and he was on Coney Island like cutting his
announcement video and he was like, I'm Andrew Yang.
I'm running for mayor of New York.
Can you dig it?
Like the classic line from the Warriors, you know, Coney Island.
Folks, we've got epic levels that are off the charts here.
But according to polls, he is a shoe-in when he runs.
Why not?
Why not?
He's a celebrity.
It should be a guy people know because you're just some, it's essentially a guy you're
throwing like a, it's a guy in the dunk tank you're throwing nerf balls at for four years.
They have no ability to do anything except absorb abuse.
Then why not?
Why not have somebody who's kind of fun, you know, has a good nature about it rather than
a sour, big bird looking bitch like Bill de Blasio.
Yeah.
Andrew Yang, Andrew Yang is going to win because, you know, New York is America's number two
Reddit city.
Absolutely.
By Philadelphia.
Yeah.
Philadelphia is the number one Reddit city, but New York's is strong number two.
And Andrew Yang is, you know, probably the most Reddit guy who's ever run for the higher
office.
One million percent.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, you know, I don't like a lot of Yang's ideas, but I think he's a genuine guy.
I think he, you know, like, like gives a lot of Reddit gold or whatever they do there.
Probably makes memes about like wholesome Keanu Reeves and stuff.
And I think this job would make him happy.
And I think he's one of the only people who, you know, maybe he deserves that on some level.
I could just imagine, though, that if he is really takes his job as New York's collective
punching bag for its continued immiserations seriously, by which I mean he treats it like,
you know, the, the Gen X epic dude that he is, and he's very affable about it.
Maybe the people in New York will kind of feel better about it, about living in New York.
Okay.
Look, there's Andrew Yang.
He's, he's, he's doing, he's planking.
He's planking in front of the Fifth Avenue library.
It's adorable.
And then maybe they're like, you know what, maybe things aren't so bad here after all.
New Yorkers are mostly, the suicide rate here is 130 percent, mostly a very dour people
because, you know, they're constantly not allowed to elect someone who reflects their
Reddit values.
But Andrew Yang as mayor, you know, the New York Post will like do a racist headline about
him or he'll get yelled at because like, I don't know, like a guy in Crown Heights
got punched or something and they'll be like, New York's more unsafe than ever.
But he'll do something like, um, he'll be like, I'm going to listen to Justin Bieber
for 24 hours to raise money for fuck cancer and it will make everyone happy and New Yorkers
will stop drinking on their SSRIs, which they all do, uh, they'll stop doing all the bad
stuff.
There will be no more cat person stuff and it will become the Reddit city, uh, it will
finally overtake Philadelphia.
Every woman will have the Carey from Mythbusters hair dye, uh, every day everyone gets to take
off for their cake day, um, Reddit gold replaces, uh, worthless Federal Reserve fiat.
I don't see how you could get worse than it is now.
So like we should give it a shot.
Well, uh, number one Reddit city in the country, Philadelphia.
I will never, I will never forgive them for what they did to number two Reddit city, New
York city yesterday on Sunday night football ever, ever.
Do you hear that?
Philadelphia.
I guess what?
I never liked gritty.
I know I put up a good show, but I hate that shit.
I hate that little fucking Muppet.
I'm going to set him on fire the next time I see it because of the dishonor that you
did to my New York football giants by fucking laying down.
You were out there playing for pride, praying, playing for the city of Eagles, the city of
Philadelphia on your back.
And what did you do?
You let them down and you let New York city down.
Well, hope you're happy.
I don't like I'm a football guy now, by the way.
Okay.
All right.
Well, you know, um, I'm more into real sports.
Uh, I like the shit they do in Russia where they have nights in armor fight in a boxing
ring.
That's the new thing I'm into.
Uh, I've never really enjoyed football that much.
The only football game I ever went to was a Bears game in 1998.
So that's probably why, uh, it's during the courtesy in this era.
Uh, but, um, you know, to, as a olive branch to Philadelphia, it is a Reddit city.
It is the Reddit city, but you can't say they're not happy, but they love, they love
being Reddit.
They love it.
They love wallowing in trash.
Yeah.
No one in Philadelphia has ever had depression, at least not since like Reddit became a thing.
And I would hope that we can emulate them here.
I would, I would hope that we, I mean, I, I'm, I have no interest in emulating the city
in Philadelphia.
I mean, I used to think it was a, it was a, it was a lunch pail, blue collar, northeastern
type city that cared about things like honor, respect and playing for pride.
And now I know they don't care about any of those things.
So New York city, uh, we're copying San Diego now.
Sorry.
Bye-bye.
Well, San Diego, San Diego is probably the next door city.
That's the city where, you know, everyone's just like, you know, um, I saw a Toyota Sienna
with the scratch on the review mirror.
I think it's human trafficking.
Watch out.
Like, I think, right?
I don't know.
I was there for like two days and normally that's enough for me to pick up a broad generalization
that I carry with me for the rest of my life, but I didn't really, that's my guess, you
know, tell me if I'm right or wrong.
Well, I feel like it's just, just one more rub to the, uh, the entry Yang, uh, New York
city mayor thing, uh, as soon as it became clear that he was, his announcement was eminent,
um, uh, your, your favorite Congressman, the, uh, Manlet Max Rose, who was going to run
for mayor just announced that he is dropping out of the race before even announcing that
he, oh yeah.
He announced it last week and then he's just announced that he's not running for mayor
because he Andrew Yang already accomplishing.
Yeah.
He's already produced results.
Turn had been mayor.
Oh my God.
He's a little Ed Koch, bald ass motherfucker, awful.
Thank God.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
There, you can't say that Yang hasn't done anything good.
Yeah.
Like he got him out of there.
Yeah.
That guy, he wanted to be like the Democratic Dan Crenshaw.
Yeah.
No.
Andrew Yang is probably a good guy and you know, he got rid of Max Rose.
Max Rose has been, I am hearing that the reddit court has sentenced him to life in
a shadow band reddit.
Oh man.
Yeah.
RIP.
He's sentenced to R slash upskirts I think and I will be supporting Andrew Yang.
Upskirts is that, is that a subreddit or is that just Max Rose's perspective on the
world because of how small he is?
He's short.
Annihilated.
Yeah.
No.
I mean, Max Rose is like, he's like the dark reddit guy because like all his ads were
like, he's like, oh, journalists on Twitter like bitching about DeBlasio, I'll just do
an ad where I say that I hate DeBlasio just with no context and like his constituents
saw that and were like, what the fuck?
I don't care.
Like no one likes with DeBlasio but it was like, okay, well, why should I vote for you?
And I guess he didn't have an answer because he lost.
Well, Felix, I think his pitch was, you know, it's a pretty unique one in that he is a Democrat
who believes and votes like a Republican does.
So I mean, there's a lot of people out there that are hungry for that kind of leadership.
Yeah.
They won't just like elect a Republican when given the choice.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He, that was funny when he like, he told, he told some like awful group, he was like,
I'm sorry, I couldn't protect you from Ilhan Omar.
Oh, I'm so glad.
He just has nowhere to go.
That's awesome.
You just can't do anything.
Well, as long as we're talking about leadership, I'd just like to extend a warm Shapo congratulations
to leader Nancy.
Good morning.
Sunday morning.
Thank goodness.
It's Sunday morning in America.
It's Sunday morning.
Good morning.
She pulled it out.
I've got Kentic cloth on right now and I'm taking a knee for leader Pelosi.
To Chala.
We love you.
We love her Pelosi forever.
I will note though that it was like, was that the squad didn't vote for her on the first
round of votes and then just all voted for her on the second round of votes.
Yeah.
We've been dipping into this, this pseudo controversy, but I got to say, I mean, leaving
aside the force, the vote on Medicare for all, you think I've delineated my thoughts
on that to already an absurd degree.
But on this issue alone, the squad is really not covering themselves with glory and like
being joined by like Jamal Bowman, you know, the, my new congressman, to vote for Pelosi.
Like why?
Like, I mean, it was, like, it just, it's just, okay, it was what AOC said about it.
She said, she said, in a time when the Republican party is attempting an electoral coup and
trying to overturn the results of our election, this is just, this is not just about being
united as a party.
It's about being united as people who have basic respect for the rule of law.
I mean, if that isn't out of Democrat playbook 101, then I really don't know what is.
I mean, this is, this is quite poor, in my opinion, quite shabby.
Well, I mean, yes, it sucks.
But the fact is, is that whether you get mad at them or not, and you think they're
bad people or they're sellouts or something, or you think you can trust them, that's all
up to you.
The fact is, is that their intent is irrelevant, essentially, because there's no movement
behind them.
They are just Congress people, like people keep talking about how the left should be
organizing right now and how the left should be, like, pushing on power.
We are living in the reality that that does not exist, that there is no left to give the
name as a coherent block that can offer political pressure in any way.
And assuming it's there is why you, the question of, like, how I'm supposed to emotionally feel
about the squad becomes paramount because you're imagining that there's some sort of
will you represent, it's not there yet, it has to be built.
And for the time being, like, if you're in that position of being in Congress, you will
always decide, and even it will be in your heart, you will be, you will be able to take
a truth serum test and prove that you are not trying to sell out, that you are trying
to do best for the socialist movement, for the working class people of this country,
you will always end up deciding to accommodate because being in Congress is an accommodation.
There's no other alternative, they're going to do that.
The only thing that's going to change their ability to do that is the conditions of political
power and political force and influence.
And the left has to build that for it to come in contact with the electoral process.
And people need to get over, like, the need to work through their frustration about losing
and recognize that it means things have to be built from the ground up.
Or know that this frustration over losing isn't going to change because a few congressmen
that you like are now in power.
Well, that's the thing is that there is something fundamentally naive about the people who really
want you to make condemning one way or the other morally the squad like a paramount consideration
is that they have in their head an idea that if they believed like me, then we would have
the good stuff, or we would be closer to getting Medicare for all.
And I am saying, absolutely we would not.
Their intent is irrelevant.
They don't have anywhere near the power positions to do what people who are outside of the political
systems think needs to be done because the people doing it don't agree with you on that
or they wouldn't be in Congress.
It's inevitable.
There's no power.
The power has to be built.
And it's not going to be built by people posting.
And that's another big lure for people who want to make this a big question to argue
and get passionate about is because they've convinced themselves that they could post their
way to change.
They're literally saying in the digital space, meat space organizing is irrelevant.
We all could just post our beliefs onto the big unmediated customer service complaint
board that is Twitter and then get the mods to change the fucking settings.
But nobody's monitoring this chat.
I mean, even if it was just a symbolic vote, I would have liked to see just some no words
for Pelosi.
I mean, she is just a fucking absolute monster.
It's a question of morale.
How do you keep morale up?
But beyond that, it's like, you could talk about it, but my God, giving it the moral
force that you want, you're distorting things to give this discourse moral urgency that
it doesn't deserve.
You've got to find somewhere else to put that energy, I'm sorry.
I don't know what else is going on.
Do you guys have any thoughts on Bean Dad, the phenomenon that we have assumed of?
So, sometimes the corn cob milkshake, Ducks.
What a fucking...
That was one of those things, I woke up on Sunday and a guy that I had no idea existed
until 12 hours ago had already had his entire Twitter account forensically audited by a
crowd sourced thing because he did some riffs about his daughter not being able to open
up a can of beans.
He committed the only real sin on the earth, posting cringe.
He posted some cringe.
Yeah.
I mean, yeah.
So, this guy, his daughter was like, dad, I want beans, and he didn't let her have the
beans until she figured out how to can't open her work.
And it's like, yeah, this guy is probably annoying, definitely annoying.
Yeah, he published a book of his tweets.
So...
Oh, but yeah.
He's a second.
He's a second.
He's a deeply, deeply annoying guy.
But I don't know, it spoke to something where like, no, one can just be annoying.
You can't just dislike someone because they're annoying and their shit sucks.
It has to be like an immoral invective.
It's like, no, he's literally abusing that child.
I saw so many...
Yeah.
He's like...
I saw so many people who say like...
That's like burying your child alive.
He was starving his child.
Yeah.
And it's like this...
No, he's just annoying.
You just don't...
Yeah.
No, he's just annoying.
You just don't like his posts.
You're not like... all of this is just to make it seem like you're doing anything, but just
staring at your phone.
Right.
Yeah, exactly.
It's another convincing yourself that you're doing good for the world by punishing a bad
person.
So he has to go from like this cringy oath guy trying to do relatable web-based social
media content to Joseph Fritzl so that you can justify like combing through their old
tweets and trying to get him fired for their podcast job.
Yeah.
No.
No.
I mean, he'll probably be fine.
Like, he'll...
I mean, like...
There's like an ecosystem for guys like that where they... like, you know, the guy's guide
to roasting vegetables.
Step one, mother-bitcher, get yourself a beer.
You're doing a great thing by having some fiber.
Step two, turn on Pink Floyd because, yeah, Pink Floyd rocks.
Step three, open another beer.
You know, I hope he's fine.
I don't want that guy's daughter to actually go hungry because they got him fired from
like the Soy Bullshit podcast, whatever.
I don't know if he was fired because...
The Soy podcast just stopped using his song.
Man, that pod...
That...
What is that...
What is that podcast?
Can someone explain that podcast to me?
It's like me, my brother, and my other brother or something.
I think I should do that with my brother.
It's three guys.
It's three very Ohio guys.
I keep seeing a photo.
They do comedy content.
I keep seeing a photo of one of the brothers and it's like gritty to me.
Okay, yeah.
So, like, from what I could...
If it's yesterday, it's two brothers who are like regular and then one brother who's
like a straight, like a 40-year-old straight guy who calls himself cute, which is...
That's an interesting dynamic.
Like, there are two guys that are regular and then there's one guy like that.
And I don't know.
Maybe I should listen.
Maybe I should just imitate.
Maybe I should just do me, my brother, and my sister.
Honestly, you guys have a much more varied point of view, certainly.
You've got the spectrum straight gamer, the gay dude, the straight woman.
You got all these dynamics going instead of three soy brothers.
Yeah, and we just found out we're Turkish now.
That's true.
You're step-peoples.
Yeah, no.
So, I don't know, this is more important than the corn cob ratio bench health side.
Some crank published a study that was like, actually, Jews came from Turks.
And I don't know anything about science or genealogy or fucking anything, but it was
on Times of Israel, which is supposedly a real newspaper, I guess, and that's enough
for me to take it as...
Well, I mean, isn't this essentially Kazar theory?
Yeah.
I mean, like, let's just...
Can I...
I want to be Turkish.
I mean...
I'm going to be Turkish.
I'm Turkish now.
I got to say, if this is just confirming Kazar theory, that you got to go, that that...
I mean, come on, let's acknowledge it then.
Yeah, well, I mean, like, fine, whatever.
I don't get...
You know, it's not like I wanted to go to Israel, but I do.
I would like to go to Istanbul.
Yeah, no.
I mean, I just...
My new life as a Turkish man has been pretty great.
Yeah.
I've been Turkish for a day.
Yeah.
What's changed?
It was a pretty good day.
What's changed?
I mean, it's just wearing a fez right now, but aside from that...
Yeah, I'm wearing a fez.
Yeah.
I'm not letting someone have a delicious ice cream.
Yeah, you're throwing the cone all around.
You're sossily pouring salt all over a piece of meat.
Yeah, I'm doing that stuff.
Your salt thing?
Yeah.
I hate Greeks now.
I used to just passively dislike them.
Hate them now.
Sorry, Stav.
Yeah, sorry, Stav.
And same opinion on NATO in that I'm a part of it, but I don't like it.
But this is great.
This is 2021...
Okay, this article was from 2016, but 2021 off to a great start.
Well, I mean, retroactively, you've been a Turk as long as I've known you, Felix.
That's very true.
That's very, very true.
And it's great.
Well, I mean, I just...
I mean, I don't think everyone can say the bean dad had his life comprehensively ruined,
but I just...
I find it a little concerning that something that innocuous could not...
Like, I just...
Like, when I had to read several out of people sincerely accusing him of child abuse because
his annoying fucking daughter couldn't open a can by herself, it's just like...
I just...
Like, can't we just laugh at people who suck?
Like, can't we just make fun of them?
Like, again, it's just like this...
And the fact that if you've been on Twitter for any lengthy period of time, you did post
at a certain time when everyone was posting...
Felix, you used the example of everybody has a tweet that's just like, oh, just Hitler
got AIDS from Michael Jackson, hashtag fail.
They were trying...
Everyone on Twitter now who isn't like 20, they...
At some point, we're trying to get on at midnight with Chris Hardwick, and their way
of getting on would be like, yeah, I bet Amy Winehouse got plastic surgery in heaven.
How about that, Chris?
You like that, Chris?
Chris, tell me you like that at midnight.
And that was like all okay until about 2014.
But it's like, I feel like there should be a grace period.
But yeah, no, people were saying that the, like, epic retica was sincerely anti-semitic
because he like, you know, he did that like Reddit style thing of, you know, sardonically
saying Jews are controlling the world.
I mean, the point of his joke was that they weren't.
Like that's all the stuff people dug up on him.
And it's like, you find one tweet where he's talking about the Zionist occupational government,
but then you go to his feed and there's literally nothing else there that would give you the
impression that that's a sincerely held belief.
Like, that should be a clue in as to the context of the word that you're looking at and pointing
out is like, perhaps, not 100% to be taken literally.
I don't know what people think that like this guy was just like, until like six years ago,
it was just like, fully a Nazi and he's like, that he just has a kid and he's like, uh,
okay, time to stop that, but not to delete any, not to delete the most of my life where
I was an open Nazi, just under my like full name.
No, that was just like, okay to post like that then.
Well, that's the thing is that nobody ever saw them and it's just weird where people
act like they've been violently, you know, like, violently assaulted by something that
they sought out on purpose.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
No, just like, what are you, what are you going to do because like, you know, the internet,
this guy used to be a part of the main thing was to be as epic as possible and like combine
as many like swear words as you could.
And now the, you know, the thing now is to talk about how weak you are.
Like the way you go viral, that's another, like in five years, people are going to dig
up people's tweets from this era that are like, why did you, why did you say that you
had a nervous breakdown for being on a work zoom call?
I'll be like, I actually didn't.
I was just lying.
That was just how you posted that in 2020, 2021.
It just does seem to be though that like an acceleration with which of the speed of which
people are adopted or made fun of and then just become a character of the day and then
like have their, you know, just, just have the, it just become like this, this bizarre
like public spectacle of shaming and kind of like,
Like, you know, I always said that like the, the Twitter is essentially like the, the customer
service complaint forum for the United States and that there's the problem is that there's
no moderator.
There's no one actually kicking this stuff up, up the ladder there.
We do create them.
Like we do pull, like pull them out of the stream and just to yell at them basically.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, people, people got mad at me cause I was like, this sucks that just like every few
months there was just like some like unfunny guy that people decide is like horrible for
a day and like find all his old tweets and like tagging his employers.
I was just saying that sucked and people, I didn't like get why people were so pissed
at me for saying that, but it's like, oh, it's because I'm like taking away a package
out of the fire.
Exactly.
Like getting good.
They're hurting a bad person.
That means that they're like, there's control over their lives and they can, you know, that
they're good because they're not like that guy.
And I'm sorry.
It's like, that's pretty fucking sicko.
And you're literally like, you can't, nobody can be mad at servers, right?
You can't yell at customer service people.
You can't even yell at telemarketers cause they're just trying to, to do their job.
But the random person online that you can just like make into the symbol of why things
are bad and just destroy, oh my God, it's essentially like you all get, everybody gets
to be Karen, but they don't get to get, but they don't, you can't call them that.
And you know, I'd be lying if I didn't admit that like a big part of the pleasure of using
Twitter is, you know, vicariously gopping at fucking like freaks, grotesques and morons
embarrassing themselves on a daily basis.
But you know, to the extent that you engage with it, I mean, I just like things like this
what bothers it about me is like not that like some fucking like some, some moron who's
been trying to go viral for the last seven years finally gets his wish, but it's like
the monkey paw.
It's the Wonder Woman wishing dildo that gave, gives him it.
So like he's universally regarded as a, you know, child abuser because of his fucking
like awful attempts at being funny is that I don't like, I mean, what sucks is that
like everybody getting in on it or, or as comprehensively fucking unfunny and boring
as the people that they're trying to fucking like,
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, no, yeah, sort of take down or I don't know, just make fun of, I
mean, like it's just like the same, it's people with the same sense of humor, the same fucking
like cut out jokes, doing the same material and then like they find someone exactly like
them.
And they're like, Oh, like get a load of this guy.
He's literally a child abuser.
Yeah, no, I mean, like I'm obviously not against making fun of people.
And I, you know, I have been gawking at like just a mentally ill guy from San Frans or Sacramento.
Yeah, exactly.
Yeah.
For like, for Dan Quinn, for like, probably like 14 years at this point.
But I mean, I don't know, I just, I think the belief that the idea that any of this is
like a moral activity that you have to be doing, I just like, yeah, make fun of whoever
who gives a shit.
I don't know, just tagging people's employers always leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
I just think that's absolute psycho shit.
I don't know.
Yeah.
Make fun of who, do whatever you want.
Just like, do not believe you're on a moral crusade.
Yeah, there's nothing moral about any of this.
We're just, we're, we're just, we're all just like, you know, making the fluoride gaze
at our phone.
We're, we're the, we're the, you know, when chickens are in large scale agricultural
facilities, if one of them like bleeds, they all start pecking each other.
That that's us.
Somebody gets pecked.
And you know, you know, pecking is fun.
You know what I'm saying?
Oh hell yeah.
Like I said, there's a fun vicarious spectacle to all of this.
But I mean, it is, you know, basically evil, but like, I'm not, I'm not judging that.
It's fun to do bad things.
Absolutely.
It's fun to do bad things, but like, it just, I, I, it just, I don't know, yeah, like,
it's just, it's just the need to like, um, just like, it's, it's not just that this
one guy like, uh, did an unfunny joke about his daughter, like he becomes a stand-in for
all of the people denouncing him.
He becomes a stand-in for like everything that their father did wrong, or their fathers
in general do wrong, or that men do wrong and parenting, and it just becomes this fucking
just, just a, just a giant party sub that everyone's got to fucking take a bite out
of.
And it's just like, and I think a lot of it revolves around kids.
Kids as well.
Cause like Matt, you pointed this out, like only a tiny amount of people on Twitter actually
have kids.
Cause if, you know, if you have kids and you are on Twitter, I mean, I think that, you
know, you could fairly be accused of child abuse, like fucking pay for your kids.
Raising kids.
Yes.
A lot of childless people.
And so when they see this stuff, they react to it from the point of view of their own
childhood and they like reinscribe their own traumas onto that moment because they've only
experienced that end of that interaction.
They have no like imaginative capacity as a parent cause they aren't one.
All right.
So guys, you're here first.
If you're a mentally ill Twitter user who posts like a hundred times a day about the
bird, the hell app, the corn cob, and you, you know, you know, you, you engage in all
this, find someone with the opposite sex and you guys have a kid to become less mentally
ill.
This is, I'm prescribing this.
I'm a prescriptivist.
Uh, it's time, it's time.
We got to repopulate America.
Yeah.
Let's go guys.
It's got to do it.
Yeah.
We just got to do this.
Yeah.
Put some of that energy to something productive.
Yeah.
Uh, no.
Yeah.
I, I don't see how this could go wrong.
If you are in fact in a relationship and the relationship is not going well, that is
exactly the time when you should have kept it well.
Yeah.
So kids always keep it together.
Uh, yeah.
No.
So, you know, if you could go home, heed this advice, ladies start ovulating guys start
coming.
There we go.
Chopbo trap house 2021, we are re branding.
We are shifting to, we are now a, an NFL based podcast.
So I'm gonna be talking about football a lot more playoffs coming up next week.
Hell yeah.
And also, go back.
We're now promoting a natal.
Yeah.
Well, I'm not, I'm not really a natalist.
I just think like the most annoying people should have kids.
It'll give them something to do.
That's the thing. Yeah. But, you know, if you're regular,
you can probably have a kid when you're 70. They'll be fine.
Yeah. Take your time.
Sure. Take your time. I trust those in the audience who are regular, 7% of our listeners,
you know who you are, the 93% who are annoying, start making that baby. As Kevin Gates said,
want to go half on a baby. All right, let's wrap it up for today. Until next time, guys.
Bye. Bye. Bye.
Well, she's so funny.
Thank you for watching!