Chart Music: the Top Of The Pops Podcast - #66 (Pt 4): 15.3.90 – De La Stoke

Episode Date: June 23, 2022

Taylor Parkes and Sarah Bee straddle Al Needham and ride him hard in the final furlong of this episode of The Pops, pausing along the way to muse upon the hardcore Dad-hop of Jive Bunny, celebrate an actual decent #1 single, ask if you can get poppers in pound shops, and give full respect to the one with the Gordon Honeycombe hair in Inspiral Carpets. GET ON ONE, POP-CRAZED YOUNGSTERS!Video Playlist | Subscribe | Facebook | Twitter | The Chart Music Wiki | Patreon Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon pull-apart only at Wendy's. It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks for the small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th. Terms and conditions apply. This will certainly have an adult theme and might well contain strong scenes of sex or violence, which could be quite graphic. It may also contain some very explicit language, which will frequently mean sexual swear words. What do you like to listen to?

Um... Chart music. Chart music. It's Thursday evening. It's about 17 minutes past seven. It's March the 15th, 1990. And households all over the nation are still reeling from the sight of Bobby Omnishake prancing like a tit and Candyflip breaking into strawberry fields, dropping their flares and curling off a massive shit all over the Imagine Mural.

Hey, you pubed pop craze youngsters, and welcome back to the final chapter of Chalk Music 66. Here I am, Al Needham, with me dear friend Sarah B and Taylor Poggs, and without further ado, let us rejoin the episode in progress. We want to be free. Do what we want to do. It's loaded from the final stream. Not a one-act on the show tonight from South of Manchester, just in case you're interested. OK, here comes the charts now from 30 to 11. And a new entry at number 30 from Fish.

And a gentleman's excuse me. New at 29, a handful of promises from Big Fun. You're entering 28. Don't you love me from the 49ers. Up at 27. Deliverance from The Mission. 26. Room at the top from Adam Ant.

The Stone Roses. Elephant Stone at 25. Up 8 to 24. Loaded. Primal Scream. You've just seen them. Glory Estefan. Here we are. Up to this twenty-four. Loaded. Primal scream. You've just seen them. Glory Estefan. Here we are. Up to this week's number twenty-three. A new entry at twenty-two. This is how it feels. The Inspiral Carpet's coming next. Shakin' Stevens. I might at twenty-one this week. Second single from the Stone Roses. Made of stone. New entry at twenty. Number

nineteen. Downtown Train from Rod Stewart. New entry at 20. Number 19, Downtown Train from Rod Stewart. New entry at 18, Strawberry Fields Forever from Candy Flip. At 17, Black Betty, the Bentley brand remix from Ram Jam. Up 4 at 16, Natural Thing from The Innocents. 15, Get Up Before the Night Is Over from Technotronic. Up at 14, Madly in Love from Bross. Black Box, I Don't Know Anybody Else. This week's number

13. Depeche Mode, Enjoy the Silence at 12. And you're at number 11, I'll Be Loving You Forever. New Kids on the Block. At the Success City 1990s, Oldham. There's Oldham Celtic in the basketball, there's Oldham Rugby Club and there's Oldham Athletic in the football. Oh yes, and City 1990s, Oldham. There's Oldham Celtic in the basketball, there's Oldham Rugby Club,

and there's Oldham Athletic in the football. Oh, yes, and a number 22, Inspiral Carpets. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE husband don't know what he's done kids don't know what's wrong with mom mayo standing with three girls and look absolutely bored and disgusted with what they've just seen on the stage rather like tony blackburn after watching a porn film says there is not one act on tonight that's from south of manchester which is absolute fucking bollocks i mean manchester's north of all of america bar alaska and big fun were from surrey so what the fuck is he going on about there? He then whips us into the charts from number 30 to number 11. Again, another boring rundown picture-wise.

But the only interesting picture in that rundown is the cover of I Might by Shakin' Stevens, which has been done by Viz. Did you notice, chaps? Yeah, yeah. He was a good sport. Features Biffa Bacon, Barry Asquith, Roger mele san out of the fat slags postman plod spoiled bastard johnny fart pants and finbar saunders with comrade shaky sat on a postbox with letters addressed to shaker memphis marie marie and oh oh julia strewn about. And of course, there's a green door, an old house and a hot dog stand.

No, Billy the Fish, that's wrong. Finally, as he stands next to a youth with an Adidas baseball cap on, which he turns backward and then makes some gestures at the camera like it's still 1986. Mayo tells us that it's a golden age for Oldham, what with the football and that, as he introduces This Is How It Feels by Inspiral Carpets. We dealt with Inspiral Carpets in chart music number 40 when they took Caravan to number 30 in March of 1991, but this is their sixth single release. is their sixth single release. It's the second cut from their debut LP Life, which comes out next month,

and the follow-up to Move, which got to number 49 in November of 1989. A chart placing so disappointing in the same month that Fool's Gold and Hallelujah were kicking the Stone Roses and Happy Mondays into the top 20, that the band decided to sign with a proper label, settling upon M records this is the first release on their new label and it's sent to the charts at number 22 and here they are in the studio for the first time ever the northern monkeys with two e's if you will and that nearly

happened chaps they were approached by BBC Manchester last year, who wanted to make a cartoon series with them, but they wisely knocked it back. Can't imagine it being an exciting thrill ride. It must be the raw charisma that just pours out. Musically, this is a very prosaic, plodding record without any real resonance. But lyrically, it's heart-rending

and it's fucking grim and grim it's like an nspcc advert like you expect a free phone number to come up at the end yes that's mayo's link up if you've been affected by any of the issues raised in this song husband don't know what he's done kids don't know what's wrong with mum what what the fuck is going on here this is yeah i don't you know i don't like it it's very very oldham as well it's very distinctly northern in that way it's like away from the exciting burgeoning club scene and vibrant youth of manchester and the big city it's like there's still little brick terraces with outside toilets and nothing good is happening there. The kind of places where Play For Today is a documentary.

I mean, from this distance, in spiral carpets have been treated like the Brian Paul and the Tremolos of Manchester, but they certainly weren't seen like that back in the day. Allow me to direct you to an article in last week's Record Mirror. Go on then. In spiral carpets, the sought-after young band among the world's compilation LP compilers

are about to score a massive hit with their debut mute single, This Is How It Feels. The band, who pointed the stranglers in the direction of chart possibility with a cover of 96 Tears, have been thrilling people up and down the country with their superb live shows, such as the band's ascendancy at present, that when they played at London recently, they had to fit in no less than 30 interviews that day.

And such is their self-confidence that they must surely be the only band to feature pictures of themselves in their spectacular live stage show. Singer Tom looks set to be the first real pop sex symbol of the 90s. With that flashing smile. So be prepared for the screams on top of the pop soon. Yeah. I don't know if that was a piss take. Didn't read like that to me.

Maybe they mixed him up with Clint Boone. I don't know. Clint Boone with his perfect medieval peasant haircut. Sort of serial killer grin. Bless him. I mean, we laugh at Primal Scream, but at least they had the basic good sense to get someone talented in to make the record for them.

So the finished product was halfway presentable, as opposed to this DIY disaster. This record is the musical equivalent of a set of shelves collapsing off the kitchen wall onto the draining board. They're going to need some new bowls the next time they have a haircut. Yes.

But it's so poor. This is such a poor song. It's like a school band having a go. Do you know what I mean? It sounds like my first song by Ian, 13. And the lyrics make that worse because, you know, when kids write a song, they're too embarrassed to sing about girls.

So they think I'm going to do a social comment a social comment yeah i mean you can imagine writing this song and thinking that it was good enough to release really you know even even if you do have a sex symbol on lead vocals he looks like the tunics tea cake boy if if tunics tea cakes were filled with giraffe shit and lead paint and he'd been eating them all his life. But it's the way he hits every note right on the beat, right? Like, kids don't know what's wrong with mum. So he sounds like he's on the last mile of an over-ambitious sponsored walk, like just plodding as if this song wasn't already flat enough this is a terrible record

and this is more of a desecration of the Beatles than Candy Flip could ever hope to be because there's no twist it's not funny it's not novel or outrageous or it's not an inversion of anything it's just that thing but done so badly that it's an insult to the people who invented it it's grim to you know use the oft-used term about the north but it's you know in a way that would definitely be offensive if anyone outside of the north yeah said it you know it's but it's there's something fascinating about it for me because it is wrong. It's very un-pop. It's like the most un-pop thing. And it is just like the smashing of a mallet into a tent peg for three minutes

until the thing just bends and then just goes further and further into the soft earth. Yeah, it is a terrible record, but there's some idea in it. They had some sort of an idea that they wanted to do yeah and the idea was nick off the police black car drives through the town some guy from the top estate they would kill me for a cigarette but i don't even want to die just yet it's a suckle lift of invisible sun by the police I contend. Oh, yeah, I'm not as familiar with that song. I'm not as much of a police head as you, Al.

Yeah. But, yeah, there's kind of an attempt has been made at kitchen sink. Yes. It's kind of kitchen sink, but it's not. It's like it's the space where a kitchen sink was in a sort of derelict house. Yeah. But I feel like by accident it achieved something

because the way that I'm talking about it, the things that it evokes through not being quite right gives me that not unpleasant tingle that I also get from watching public information films from the Central Office of Information. The only public information film these people should be on is Don't Run If You've Got Hair In Front Of Your Eyes. Well, Oldham is, in in fact there's a sign um whether or not it's still there but there was

um that said welcome to oldham home of the tubular bandage so if you happen to you know wreck yourself in an electricity substation or in a disused quarry then you'd be home free here in oldham that sign could have said home of the in spiral carpets but they they were very disparaging about their hometown in interviews round about the time i mean fair enough because i understand that there are people who are proud of where they're from and that's that you know that is not something to fuck with but a lot of people will will affect that when actually they hated everything about it and you know everyone who was there yeah did they say old ham is about right yeah that's what i'd have said i'm not having no set against old and remember they clubbed together for that plaque at the

lieutenant pigeon house oh yeah so yeah fucking good on oldham yeah in their time and need we can coat this down all we want but we're listening to the future here because this strikes the keynote for much of the decade triumphant downness it's a song to front up to with your arms in the air and i don't know if he's about backstage but their drum technician a certain n gallagher is surely taking notes and making plans yeah but that doesn't mean a toss because the kids are just granny clapping away and whooping like gibbons the zoo influence continues to linger in that studio alas yeah i mostly remember hearing this song as a football chant because something else it sounded more mellifluous that way um man united fans used to sing it at Man City fans while doling out their biannual thrashing with the lyrics

this is how it feels to be city this is how it feels to be small this is how it feels when your team wins nothing at all it just goes to show doesn't it we are all but straw in the wind tossed by the whims of billionaire Floridian vulture capitalists and billionaire rulers of gay-murdering, slave-driving oil states. So we should all be as smug as we possibly can while it lasts.

For some reason that I can't work out, this song has actually crashed into the Cool Cuts dance chart in Record Mirror at number two, would you believe? Wow. One below Trippin' On Your Love by Way Of Life, one above Ghetto Heaven by Family Stand. Underneath it says, solid beats for the latest indie band

to hit the dance floor. Awesome! Did Mark Sutherland write that? How are people dancing to these things that are being presented to us as dance records i mean i'm not the greatest dancer but like how are all these people i wonder why sorry sarah oh what wow yes how are all these people dancing and moving their bodies around to records that are not dance records no i don't know it's weirding me out drugs Drugs, Sarah, drugs. No, not drugs. What are they?

Well, a ketamine. Bloody drugs. Ketamine that nobody was doing at this time. Or glug, maybe. Glug some glug and then just loll about the dance floor with your tongue out. Yeah. Well, it's the association with the Mad Chester scene, isn't it? Yes.

Isn't the only reason this is classed as a dance record? And you've got the same problem with every supposed scene whether it's a real one or a semi-invented one which is that there are never enough bands or there are never enough good bands right because human talent and ingenuity is depressingly thinly spread so whenever something like madchester bubbles up like people get into the two or three decent groups and then you get this kind of dragnet which picks up all the singing milkman and the youth club audition failures you know adding sort of credibility to this idea of a scene but also subtracting from it or you know diluting it and there's nothing worse than ending up as one of the bands that are pulled along in the in the glittering slipstream because deep down everybody knows what you are

and it means that you never get a second chance but you know luckily in most cases that doesn't matter they were like the real run to the litter weren't they the inspirals which is you know um unfortunate but kind of undeniable part of the problem is that they the inspirals which is you know um unfortunate but kind of undeniable part of the problem is that they're like a manchester band and yeah i know they're from oldham but stone roses were from altering them and happy mondays were from salford they're still manchester bands right um but they're a manchester band who sound like a liverpool band with the exception of the hoies, that never works. I mean, look, first of all, this is easy for me to say as an outsider,

albeit one who's spent a lot of time in the North West over the years. But the whole Manchester versus Liverpool thing is fundamentally hilarious. And everybody in Manchester and Liverpool needs to understand this because when you look at it, fundamentally hilarious and everybody in Manchester and Liverpool needs to understand this because when you look at it no two other English cities have as much in common as those two culturally not even Bradford and Leeds the Minneapolis and St Paul of England the only real difference people from Liverpool pride themselves on wearing their hearts on their sleeves and being emotionally open while people from Manchester pride themselves on being a hearts on their sleeves and being emotionally open while people

from manchester pride themselves on being a little bit more emotionally aloof and controlled and you know cooler and apart from that lads you're the fucking same the music the politics the the humor the cockiness the sort of insularity it's all the fucking same and in music there's always been a bit of an understanding of that there's a lot of cooperation and crossover between manchester and liverpool groups and the only time the rivalry boils over is when they start talking about football yeah the interesting thing is that the cultural differences such as they are between the two cities are reflected clearly in the music that comes out of them traditionally right in that Manchester bands are a little bit artier a little bit more cerebral often based on rhythm and repetition

which is true of people like Joy Division and even the Smiths in a way whereas Liverpool bands are all about melody and that kind of surging emotional sound. Now, to some extent, that's down to in the 80s, Manchester was full of people taking speed and listening to funk and Liverpool was full of people smoking weed and listening to Pink Floyd. Although, you know, maybe that's an expression of that contrast rather than the other way around.

But the point is, Liverpool bands who tried to sound like Manchester bands and vice versa, it never worked. Manchester Mersey beat was horrible, unless you got a song off Graham Gordman. Canal beat. Yeah, and Liverpool bands trying to do baggy stuff were always horrendous as well. And in a way, it makes perfect sense that the young noel gallagher was roadieing or whatever he was doing for this lot because oasis are the ones who finally fucked

this balance because they caricature manc in attitude and caricature liverpool in sound but here's the earlier example of that and it's fucking awful i mean we can scoff but there is a genuine hero for the 90s in this band martin walsh on bass who is sporting a full-on gordon honeycomb of a hairdo and quite clearly doesn't give a fuck i mean we've spoken many a time and oft about bold pop stars in hats on this episode. And if there was ever a time when hats were acceptable, it was this era. You know, he could have slapped on a bucket hat with a cow on it.

And the pop craze youngsters would have been none the wiser. But no, he was bold. He was proud. Hero, sir. Because, you know, when I see a grown man in a hat, and I'm speaking as someone who's been a total slaphead for half his life now, I instantly think, A, you're bold, and B, you're a fucking coward.

So I respect him. Yeah, and also, he's in a band where everyone else is like a sort of awkward man at C&A with a haircut like a canteen lampshade, dressed like a three-year-old. Do you think the band all got together and said look martin's having uh difficulties with his hair let's all have mad hairstyles to um detract attention from him but i'm clint boone so i'm bagsy in the best hairstyle like the opening sequence of full metal jacket except instead of everyone getting their heads shaved they're all getting a bowl cut preparation for you for going to war in pop.

And they're lumbering about in their new togs, which have been provided to them by Joe Bloggs, who they've just cut a deal with for a few thousand pounds, meaning they can go on top of the pops and look like cast members of Pigeon Street for nothing. Yeah, Joe Bloggs is the mother care that thinks it's summer. Yes, cool as fuck. Yes, indeed.

That's what everyone's going to think when they see this line. Hey, they're cool as fuck. Everything about this is kind of boxy, isn't it? From the clothes through to the bass line. All of it is just... It's such a peculiar record and it seems so odd to see it even on top of the pops. But like I said said i would never

listen to this for pleasure because you can't because it's not pleasurable to listen to but i appreciate that they've tried to do something different here you know you don't get many husbands in pop music do you nor mums no like these are just words that you don't hear and you know it's because they're very lumpen words and you know but it's yeah there's something about this that that really fascinates me in the same way that it's fascinating to look at um you know walkthroughs of abandoned houses and you say they've been dragged into the the madchester scene taylor but they're clearly fighting against it you know they've not called it andrew weatherall oh my god this is how it feels to be loaded yes fuck that was a missed opportunity

core and you can't imagine them being massive custard gun it's either you know except with actual custard yes birds yeah when they got backstage they'd be less inclined to get the drugs in and more inclined to count up how many t-shirts they've sold that night yeah yeah this has got a sort of can of kestrel and an embassy number one feel to it hasn't it yeah unfortunately the only thing i find fascinating about this group is why they all chose to go to the same barber yeah alas not sweeney todd i got a drunken text from a friend of mine the other night. Right. Claiming, I think fraudulently, that he once, and I quote,

broke into Television Centre, did a shit in Basil Brush. Oh, I say, Mr Roy. That text has more artistic merit than the entire existence of the Inspiral Car. Has he been able to buy a small terraced house in oldham off the back of it no i don't think but you know at least they tried so the following week this is how it feels jumped seven places to number 15 and a week later got to number 14 its highest position and the lp life sell 200,000 copies in the first fortnight of its release, and crash into the album chart at number 2, kept off the top by the compilation Only Yesterday by The Carpenters.

Oh, you see, Candy Flip, you should have done Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft. Oh, you see, Candy Flip, you should have done Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft. The follow-up, She Comes in the Fall, got to number 27 in July. They finished off the year with the Island Head EP getting to number 21 in November and spent the rest of the first half of the 90s as a regular but not massive presence in the charts until they were dropped by Mute in 1995 and splitting up soon after. I'm telling you that's an inspirational song,'s inspired by it's 22 and now with the gear change that nigel mansell would be happy with and number four the highest new entry this is jive bunny Everybody Needs somebody Love

What we're gonna do right here is go back Way back Mayo, on a mission to stand next to every single member of the audience Drops a Nigel Mansell reference In order to introduce That Sounds Good To Me By Jive Bunny and the Master Mixers Bred in an electrical shop in Rotherham in 1988 Jive Bunny was the Master Mixers. Bred in an electrical shop in Rotherham in 1988, Jive Bunny was the creation of John Pickles,

who ran the shop but wrote songs on the side and recorded them in a studio in a terraced house on the outskirts of town. And when he heard the owners were going bust, he bought it up in the mid-80s. After employing his son Ander and a local DJ called Ian Morgan to mine the studio, he successfully applied for a license to start a DJ record service called Master Mix in 1986, a subscription service for club DJs which provided remixes of the hits of the day on a monthly basis, which put him in touch with a load of remixes right across Europe.

In the summer of 1988, he was contacted by Les Hemstock, a DJ from Yorkshire who was based in Norway, and given a copy of a megamix he'd just done, which consisted of rock and roll classics mashed together with Glenn Miller. It was released by Master Mix that very month to a rapturous reception from the subscription base, which encouraged Pickles to fly Hempstock over to Rotherham and do a version suitable for release to the general public, which got round to any publishing mither by re-recording the Glenn Miller bits

and using an Elvis impersonator. The single, released under the name given to the bloke who repaired irons and keckles in the electrical shop who called everybody bonnet, came out in July of 1989. It entered the chart at number 54, then soared to number 31. And after the video was played on top of the pops, it soared 28 places to number 3 and a week later it camped out on the very summit of Mount Pop for 5 weeks, eventually selling over a quarter of a million copies. The follow-up, That's What I Like, smashed into the chart at number 4 in October of 1989

and spent 3 chart at number four in October of 1989 and spent three weeks at number one. And they finished the year of the rabbit with Let's Party entering the chart at number one in December for one week, becoming only the third act in history to go to number one with their first three singles after Jerry and the Pacemakers and Frankie Goes to Hollywood. And this. Their attempt at a record breaking.

Fourth number one on the bounce. Has entered the charts at number four. This week's highest new entry. And even though they've recruited a builder. Who knocks about their local pub. To play Jive Bunny at P.A.'s. Here's the video. Yeah.

I've never seen the video to this before. No. Or I don't remember seeing it and it's amazing like the record it's about modern technology descending onto the 80s holiday camp aesthetic yes and recharging it which i think is why it was so successful because there's something genuinely joyous and celebratory about the shitness of it it's a basically it's a bunch of hired little woods models yes whoever they could scoop out of spotlight and probably some friends of the crew you know dancing around with giant unnatural grins bolted onto their faces right shot on glaring cheap video but lit with this unearthly acid

lighting and intercut with a that marker pen flip book animation of jive bunny himself yes and everything's either slowed down or sped up and it's not really cut to the record there's all these arbitrary garden shears edits yeah it's just this frantic whirl of low aesthetics and like short attention span high speed hucksterism yeah you know and what it looks and sounds like when you put it with this track is one of those early 90s late night tv adverts for mail order only cd compilations of classic hits yes remember that sounds good to me is not available in any shops i was in a minicab once about 25 years ago and the cabbie was playing this cd with uh black betty by ram jam on it and we're in the back we're like so oh cool and he kept turning around and going do

you like this and putting it on again do you like this do you like it and when we went yeah he started boasting he said yeah this cd is not available in any shops nice but the the shamelessness of those adverts is captured really well here yes and it's quite a nostalgia trip on that level. I think the B side of this record was, if you're sat around at home, make new friends on the telephone. [phone]. Chatback. I think a lot of people thought that should be the A side as well,

but they held out. Extra track on the 12- was 0 8 9 1 50 50 50 do you remember old things they were funny me and my mate used to ring those numbers up

when we were on LSD I only just remembered this I've got a tape of it his mum was live in staff at sheltered housing and the phone

was all paid for so when she went away i'd go around there and we'd take acid and call these premium rate proto internet chat rooms uh somewhere i got a tape of him trying to suppress hysterical acid giggles while talking to some flat-voiced disaster in Essex about what he does for a living, going, my name's Gus. I put a hose to the cars. That was our psychedelic odyssey. It was all right then, and it's all right now.

So the tune we get. A cover of the intro to Everybody Needs Somebody To Love by Solomon Burke. Long Tall Sally by Little Richard. so the tune we get a cover of the intro to everybody needs somebody to love by solomon burke long tall sally by little richard ooh my soul by little richard keep a knocking by little richard roll over beethoven by chuck beret tequila by the champs shout shout knock yourself out by ernie maresca and a few stabs of chubby checker because why not i would like to know the process by of elimination by which you know they've got in a hundred way of boogie woogie and then it's like how do you choose you know especially by by now this is their fourth

go at this you know what are they what are they doing what are they doing why is this happening no making hit records the thing is my dad fucking hated hip-hop and he'd bang on the ceiling when i was playing ultra magnetic mcs or boogie down productions and he'd moan on about it oh it's not fucking real music and we'd end up going to someone's wedding do or leaving do whatever fucking jive bunny would come on and he'd be immediately up and off on one probably because jive bunny would rinse the back catalogue of little richard who he fucking loved and you know so did i and on this episode of top of the pops after sitting through bobby omni shake and in spiral basin heads hearing little richard cut through all the shit is just a glorious thing

to hear yeah but it's like they've taken the stake of of little richard and through all the shit it's just a glorious thing to hear yeah but it's like they've taken the steak of of little richard and just pounded it flat with a mallet and then it's it has been cooked well done and it's been served to you with watered down ketchup why isn't this offensive to people who love little richard you know i i don't really understand this is essentially dad hop isn't it yeah yeah hip-hop for dads yeah it's like if hip-hop had been informed primarily by shawadi wadi yes i mean if fear of a black planet had been made by the cast of ross albert's madhouse this is what it would sound like yeah that's the funny thing this record didn't offend the people who like and grew

up with the music that it destroys but it offended younger people yeah it did to continue the stones theme of this episode i once went to interview andrew lou oldham and tony colder in their offices in belgravia or somewhere early nights they'd written a biography of abba with colin irwin so it was about that right i went to interview him and as you go up the steps to their office they had all the gold discs that they'd ever been involved with framed cool so it was like stones records then a lot of immediate record stuff like small faces pp arnold and then lastly a massive row of jive bunny gold disc because really tony colder co-owned the company who own

jive bunny in some right or other and i just had this lovely vision of paul weller or some heavenly records guy walking up the stairs and watching the expression on his face slowly change like one of those time-lapse films of an orange that's been left on a plate for a hundred days and just collapses in a foul black liquid but that's the best thing about the best thing about this is that it's a proper historical record of the nasty cheap corners of 1990 it gets it all down in sound and vision right the true look and feel of the stuff that nobody wants to preserve and so will not be remembered you know and in no in any era 80 percent of people's reality is low rushed zero effort worth i mean the stuff that you see in

here most of the time the world that you actually have to live in right in future days most of that is chucked away and forgotten yeah in favor of the stuff that seems like it's worth remembering but the stuff that's unmemorable or beneath consideration 10 or 20 or 30 years later that's what made up the majority of that era's reality and so it's good to have it and it's good to preserve it yeah you know is it though i mean isn't this just kind of like there are plastic toys that were made in the 80s and you know next time you go to the beach you're going to find find one of them yeah and then put them on ebay and sell them for fucking 60 quid yeah i've just got this real like searing mental image of like, I don't think they've made any jive bunny toys,

but I'm just imagining a really crappy looking jive bunny toy with his eyes just rubbed off by decades in the sea. And it's killed various fish on its way, you know, and has survived in some form. It's just washed up in the surf at Margate. It's such a weird void of a thing. It's like it's a non-funny novelty record made by a celebrity who doesn't exist.

It's like we were saying, is this like the first Avatar pop star in a kind of precursor to Gorillaz? But it's not an Avatar for the creators, it's an Avatar for the audience. I'd sooner listen to Jive Bunny than fucking gorillas. No, you fucking wouldn't. Yes, I fucking would.

Well, be my guest, Al. Where does Little Richard feature on a gorillas record? Show me. Huff all you want, madam, is the truth. The worst thing about this for me is the biggest, not that I had high expectations, but the kind of reflexive disappointment induced by a sample at the start that goes, what we're going to do right here is go back,

way back, back into time, which is also how Kisses on the Wind by Nenna Cherry starts off, one of my favourite records ever. And Days of Way Back by NWA. Yeah, yeah. I can't believe they both sampled Jive Bunny. I know. I mean, just trailblazing.

What an influence. What a legacy. My brain just went, oh, it's Kissing the Wind. Oh, no, it isn't. It couldn't help itself. It just went, yay, I'm going to have three minutes of fun now. And that was not what I had. By the way, that sample is from Truglodyte,man close brackets by jimmy casta bunch i need to investigate this

man's work further oh you must yeah yeah go to it's just begun i'm gonna check out the bertha butt boogie apparently uh bertha butt was introduced in troglodyte it wasn't actually historically accurate he's saying the only people that existed were troglodytes, cavemen, cavewomen. And here was the original troglodyte listening to his stereo. And this is what he heard. It's amazing. So, yeah, I'd much rather listen to that than Jive Bunny. The list of things.

I'd rather listen to fucking This Is How It Feels by Spiral Carpets than Jive Bunny. And that's very literally the truth. I mean, i do wonder whether jive bunny was knowingly named because i think if you purchased a time scoop and gathered up all the black american musicians honored on these records and permitted them to hear this they might find the name quite apt because it's just called themselves Shaking Star Sound, but, you know. But look, my only defence of this record is that I think this is the point where you just have to tip your hat. Because on this podcast, over the years,

we've seen attempts by Candy Flip and Dollar, you know, trying to turn the Beatles into tatty shit. We've just seen Primal Scream trying to do the Beatles into tatty shit. We're just in Primal Scream, trying to do the same to the Rolling Stones. And just all manner of English seaside, wet weekend, deck chair attendance turned loose on cool and sexy stars of the past, right? But usually there's an element of misplaced pride or would-be artistry there, you know?

Like they really think they're doing something with it. Whereas here, it's hard not to feel a kind of weird grudging admiration because nobody's putting themselves on or trying to put you on. There's a kind of wonderful purity to this. This revels in its cheapo shitness. And it's not trying to fool you. It's just a simple offer they're saying we've taken this reinforced submersible craft down lower than any man has ever been before

to the inky depths of pop music and we've discovered fish so ugly they could have been torn from your most brutal nightmares now Now, would you be interested? It's like we've taken the spirit of rock and roll, killed it, chucked it dead in a bowl, pissed on it, and then sliced it up and made it into a sandwich. Would you pay us for a bite? No pressure. And lest you make any mistake,

we've presented this in such a way that you could no more mistake this record for art than you could accidentally let yourself into an electricity substation thinking it was an adventure playground there's lurid warning signs everywhere around this record if you buy this record you're not going to be embarrassed about that in 10 years time because if you buy this record embarrassment is clearly beyond you you know yeah i just think it's good that that's been preserved you know the library of alexandria burnt to the ground destroying thousands of the most precious documents of the pre-christian era the river arno burst its banks in 1966 flooding the city of florence and destroying millions of priceless art treasures and

and irreplaceable ancient literature but we still have this so we should hold it close and and keep it so so in centuries to come when people say how did they really live we've heard all about primal scream and the stone roses and all those raves how did they really live then those people can thrill to it once more while yes while trying to chew off their own ears what percentage of the people who originally bought Jive Bunny's records do you reckon are dead now? When you started that sentence, I somehow knew that was how it was going to end.

Oh, is that because I'm predictable? No, just because it's such a good... No, because you were right. It's such a good point to make. I'm not sure anybody under 40 bought this record, or under 35. Oh, come on, kids fucking love Jive Bonair. What are you going on about? It was for kids, yeah, but kids who were too young to buy records.

Yeah. Kids under 10. This is their introduction to hip-hop, Sarah. Sampling. Yeah. This kind of perfectly evokes the experience of going to a holiday camp in the 80s for me, despite the fact that I never did that. Yeah.

Get us a crock, ma'am. And the new Jive Bonair single. Yeah, I did go to a holiday cabin, yeah. You're absolutely right, yeah. Yeah, I guess it was a record for kids and old people. It was just those awkward people in the middle, like teenagers, I suppose. I mean, do you think anyone in the world

lost their virginity to this record? I mean, there might have been one or two. Can you imagine? You don't always have a choice in what's on when you lose your virginity to be grim it's always risky did you have anything playing when either of you lost your virginity side two of moon dance

by Van Morrison wow how very American werewolf I am not saying that on this podcast it's not even that it's embarrassing. It's just fucking private. Also, there was one. Well, there were two different things because there was the failed attempt and then there was the successful attempt.

And they're both like burned into my brain. But I will take that to my grave. This is how it feels to be. Isn't it, Sarah? Isn't it? Hang on. What? No, not that. I was fucking. No. Also, not later. Scrub that out. it feels to be isn't it Sarah isn't it hang on what no not that

I was fucking no also not later scrub that out Jesus no sorry doc also no

no they were good records I just don't want to fucking tell you Jesus Christ I have said enough on this podcast over the last six years I have blurted

my innermost in ways that I now regret bitterly so fuck off right when we do late 90s episodes every shit song that comes up i'm just gonna sit back and stroke a thoughtful chin no way no way by vanilla i'm gonna start the bidding at that jesus h so the following week that sounds good me, stayed at number four and went no further, breaking the streak.

The follow-up, Can Can You Party, got to number eight in September and they closed out the year with the crazy party mix, getting to number 13 in the last chart of 1990. The next two singles, Hot Summer Salsa and Rock and Roll Dance Party, both failed to make the top 40 in 1991, and the costume was presumably shoved under a bed in Rotherham, where it remains

to this day. I'm just looking at the side two of Moondance. It's crap. All the good shit's loaded on the first side. Isn't the first track on side two of Moondance called Come Running? Yes. Yeah.

I think most people's experience of losing their virginity. Oh, we're two minutes in. Oh, I remember it well. I'd fancied her for ages. I wanted to shag her so badly. And I shagged her so badly. Yeah. Taylor. What? You know what? so badly Taylor what

you know what did I have anything playing when I lost my virginity I think I was listening to chart music number 17

this is the first I'm a jockey to play. Roll over, Beethoven. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. I got it. This is the first radio ad you can smell. The new Cinnabon Pull Apart, only at Wendy's. It's ooey, gooey, and just five bucks with a small coffee all day long. Taxes extra at participating Wendy's until May 5th.

Terms and conditions apply. That's giant May 5th. Terms and conditions apply. That's giant bunny at number 4. Could be this week's number 1. It's not this week. Here comes, as they say, the final countdown. And up to number 10, Lily Woods here. David A. Stewart featuring Candy Dolpha. Number 9, Nothing Compares to You from Sinead O'Connor.

Up to number eight, Blue Savannah from Eurasia. And up to seven, Moments in Soul, JT and the Big Family. Up eight to six, Love Shack from the B-52s. No move at five, Infinity, Guru Josh. The heist went to number four. That sounds good to me. You've just seen Jive Bunny. No move at three, How Am I Suppist went to number 4, that sounds good to me you've just seen Jive Bunny No Move at 3, How Am I Supposed To Live Without You

Michael Bolton and No Move at number 2, The Brits 1990 and that means week number 3 for Beats International featuring Lindy Layton and Dub, Be Good To Me to me. Mayo, next to a lad in a leather jacket with the sleeves rolled up, who clearly thinks his summit breaks down the top 10 oh chaps we know what the jarring note is on this selection of pictures don't we

number two fucking jonathan king popping up out of nowhere jesus that was disturbing he's the front person of various artists with the mash-up single the brits 1990 dance mix which features street tough by double trouble and rebel mc voodoo ray by a guy called gerald theme from s express by s express hey dj i can't dance to that music you're playing by beatmasters eve of the war ben librant remix by jeff wayne pacific state by 808 State, we call it Acide by D-Mob and Got To Keep On by Cookie Crew. That's Brits 1988

slash 89 to me. Yeah, but almost all good records. And all of them having absolutely fuck all to do with Jonathan King. So why is he on the front with a line over his head that's clearly stuffed and therefore not going to bite his head off? That's fucking wrong.

People like him. A humble man. Finally, Mayo gets around to introducing this week's number one. Don't Be Good To Me by Beats International featuring Lindy Leighton. Formed in Brighton in 1989, Beats International were a loose collective which orbited around Norman Cook, the former bassist of the House Martins, who had split up in late 1988 and who had put out the hip house single Blame It on the bass line and the dance single for Spacious Lies under his own name. Later that year, after Cook appeared on Jukebox Jewelry

talking about his new plans, he was approached by Lindy Layton, an 18-year-old actor-singer who had appeared in Press Gang and Casualty, who is currently best known for a Heinz Spaghetti advert. She suggested a cover of the 1984 SOS band single Just Be Good To Me, which got to number 13 in April of that year,

and Cook stitched together the bass line from Guns Of Brixton, the 1979 Clash track from London Calling, the harmonica from Ennio Morricone's Lumo Della Monica from the soundtrack of the 1968 Spaghetti Western Once Upon A Time In The West, the drums from the 1975 headhunters tune god made me funk air and got bandmate david john baptiste to redo a snippet of the rap from jam hot the 1983 johnny dinell single for the intro it's the second cut from the lp let them eat bingo which is due

out in a week or so it was released at the the end of January and smashed into the charts at number 15, then soared 12 places to number 3. And two weeks later, it scaled to the very top of Pop Mountain, picking up Nothing Compares To You by Sinead O'Connor, holding it over its head, lobbing it over the side and bellowing triumphantly. This is its third week at number one. And here's a repeat of their performance from two weeks ago. And chaps, before we get into this, allow me to shave a frank beard, if you will,

because we all know the legend that's been banded about for over 30 years about this single don't we do we well lindy layton was supposed to be in grange hill oh and she was not sir or madam the so-called mainstream media got her confused with lindy brill who played kathy hargreaves and it never got corrected and that fact has been circulating for over 30 years now and I've just killed it. Anyway, this single, to my mind, it's the first proper number one of the 90s, isn't it? So far we've had Hanging Tough by New Kids on the Block,

Tears on My Pillow by Kylie Minogue, Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'Connor, but finally we get a single that sounds absolutely of its time in other words a song from six years ago sung over another song from 11 years ago yeah it does sound very of its time and I think it has aged pretty well for something that does yes it has so 1990 and it's technically clever isn't it I mean it is is it the opposite of jive bunny do you think in most meaningful ways it's another slow dance record but you know with very few breaks in it but it works and another one with

loads of space in it like all of the low end is taken up with the bass so the bass has like loads of room to stretch out and be a big fat bass and it's a really interesting and carefully arranged assemblage of elements that all work really well together in a pleasing way that like, well, who would think to put these things together? It's like, well, apparently these people and this teenage girl. Brilliant. It's one of those songs that's like a matchbox cascade. It just goes round and round and round.

But you're quite happy to sit there and watch the balls bounce off the little bongos and go round again. Yeah, yeah. The rhythmic part is so crisp. It is like people sort of marching through a field of iceberg lettuce. And there's no kick drum. They're clearly people who understand music who have gone right back to the basics

and chosen things very, very carefully. Yeah, it's a funny one, this, isn't it? Because it is a good record, largely because it's based on a better record. Two better records. Two better records. And it's, you know, I'm not sort of griping and being grumpy about it, because I do like this,

but it's quite hard to do a track like this with a dub bass line and a sort of haunted, distant melody and make it shit. Because this kind of music is the easiest music in the world to play to a reasonable standard without having to try too hard because as soon as you've got the rhythm going and you've put down a heavy bass it already sounds quite good so all you have to do then is not spoil it yeah which they don't yeah but that's that in itself is quite a skill isn't it it's like with with editing of writing, it's like sometimes the best thing to do is nothing.

Oh, yeah. I mean, I'm not sniping so much as saying that it's done cleverly. That's why this is the style of black music that's most commonly approximated by white bedroom boys because the entry level is so easy to get to. And once you're there, you can draft in anything else you want, any other kind of sound or melody to layer over the top because there's no issues of authenticity to worry about.

There's no concerns about funk and the possession of. This doesn't exist in a hard dance floor space where you have to meet certain demands. And it doesn't exist in a specific urban hard knock space where you need certain kinds of experience and knowledge to make it convincing it's basically reggae music that's expanded out into a space that lads like Quentin understand like a stoned mind space where you don't need any tight connection to your own body and your own physicality you can be horizontal and not miss anything you know so growing these little window

box flowers is within the reach of people like him you know and they're really nice it's only when you listen to like actual dub music like if you listen to the long version of no love by the twin roots you know or something by keith hudson or termination dubbed by glenn brown you're stepping into a hundred mile square forest of unearthly phantasmagoric blooms against which this seems a little bit underwhelming. But it's because, appropriately enough, playing reggae, especially slow, moody, dubby type of reggae, is like playing the bass

in that the bass is the easiest instrument to play to a just about acceptable standard, which is why the crappiest musician in the band always gets put on bass. But it's extraordinarily hard to play at that supersonic John Entwistle level, where you're basically playing fast guitar solos, but on an instrument with a much bigger neck and much bigger strings. And, you know, that's a good thing.

Don't get me wrong. Expanding access to music and to making good music is a good thing. And the more good records in the world the better you know it's you know i'm just saying you're also obligated to point out that what they've really done here is take an sos band record which they wouldn't have been able to reproduce never mind originate and space it out to the point where they can cope with it yeah you know that's all right it's's more constructive than, you know, tipping slush puppies into pillar boxes.

Or whacking the funky drummer beat over Strawberry Fields Forever. Yeah. Right. This will be another song at the student disco that you'd be glad to hear and easy to dance to as well. Yeah, you only have to look at Lindy Layton to see that. Bless her. She's 17 or 18 here and you

know she's tiny tiny and she has really great presence and she's got many makeup on because they um they they said to her like don't get dressed up don't put makeup on so she's got the kind of proto billy eilish giant clothes on i think it's cool when there's a woman on top of the pops and you can't see what her body's like. And it's quite a radical thing. And it is something that somebody that we have not yet collectively got over as evinced by Billie Eilish. Oh, look what she's wearing. Oh, look, she's got a big tracksuit on.

And then as soon as she's like, OK, I'm going to pose in a corset. Oh, blimey. People just get extremely exercised about this one way or another so it's great it's always interesting and and cool to see somebody just like opt out of that altogether she's got this nice shiny oversized hooded top on yeah and she's wearing a baseball cap with british knights on it which obviously means that she's a crip because at the time in certain parts of america if you wore anything with bk on it it meant blood killer so there you go oh god could you accidentally like declare your affiliation

to either the bloods or the crips oh god yeah what a fucking minefield there was a period where visitors to los angeles were advised what colors they should and shouldn't wear in certain areas because some of those guys shoot on sight yeah that's why show waddy waddy had to cancel their tour of south central la right about this time yeah i'll be sitting around going well we're playing concert tonight so at least two of us are going to get shot fuck that how is there not a documentary about this how has there not been a limited series on hbo i know go on but it really helps that quentin looks really shit in a brazil sweatshirt and some troop tracksuit bottoms that he probably got from four star general and he's matched that with a white hat and some absolute fucking jumbo

trainers kind of trainers that ch Needham wears. Yeah. Well, I mean, he manages not to wreck it. I mean, I like Lindy Leighton's presence. I like the fact that she's not, I mean, she can sing, but she's not a singer. Do you know what I mean? She doesn't really project. There's no superfluous melismas or whatever, you know.

We're not meant to care about her tragic backstory, and we're not supposed to marvel at her lung capacity like scouts for the swimming team, you know. She can sing in tune. She's got the bottle to get up there or more precisely the stage school training to get up there and front the record, you know, and dance around like a cartoon gorilla

because it is. Her dancing is like Donkey Kong taunting Mario from the top of his girded citadel. All the dance songs we've heard so far, they're perfect for doing that dance where it looks like you're walking across a bouncy castle with a pint in each hand and you don't want to spill anything, do you?

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I still haven't forgiven her for getting in the way of silly games oh yes she did well yes but you know in this moment here it's all very natural and not annoying you know maybe given time annoyance may have come to pass but time was not forthcoming for beats international but what does bother me a little bit it it's not specifically Quentin. It's just the general Brightoniness or West Londoniness of it. I just get that feeling that these are the people you might, a few years later, see in bafflingly nice flats,

which you couldn't quite work out how they afforded. You know, with framed posters for the Godfather and Goodfellas on the walls, calling each other man. You know what mean i don't know it's just maybe it's just the way that the record doesn't really go anywhere and or these people are never in a rush they don't need a direction you know i don't know that's the only thing i don't like about it this is the association with that that it's like it's made by people who have no drive and no serious problems because you know what's coming down the tracks after this is the kind of oil spill ubiquity of fat boy slim yeah that just choked everything that is so of its

time and has aged so badly to my ears that i'm always astonished when there's a car advert with the fat boy slim track on it it's like? Because it just sounds like it's from another time altogether. I guess he sort of has the good grace to look surprised about that himself. But I think it was just that he had a certain thing and a certain ability. And his way was probably smoothed quite nicely by other people. And he had enough of an idea and enough of a work ethic and was lucky enough and all these little things that need to come together to make you preposterously successful. And he was prepared to do the kind of punishing touring

and ridiculous hours that you had to do in order to be that successful and seemed to come out of it relatively unscathed, which I think is becoming harder to do, actually. I think I've seen enough kind of EDM horror stories about people just completely losing it one way or another. No, but you're right, though. The Fatboy Slim stuff just reeks of that sort of Cokey 90s shitheadedness, you know what I mean?

I'm not suggesting he was on Coke or anything like that, of course. Whereas this is pure 1990 in that it's got that air of faint melancholy, but it's like a happy melancholy. It's like a nice sort of LSD come down melancholy, you know. It works better, I think, now because we meet enough horrible, coked up, obnoxious lads today that when you hear old music that sounds like it is for them it sounds horrible whereas this is a bit more distant it's like we can't imagine living in a

climate of cautious optimism yeah any more than we can imagine living in a tent on pluto yeah you know what i mean and i think records like this chimed very sweetly back then and I think that's why they've aged better I think that's also reflective of uh judging by the uh the the story of 1990 top of the pops documentary right where kind of slightly unkind editing I think there's Norman Cook and Lindy Layton talking about this record and you know their collaboration and he's kind of quite embarrassingly going on about how struck he was by her and how he fell a little bit in love with her and then cuts to her and she's like yeah it was great meeting you and it was like meeting my brother oh mate i think he

was either mid-divorce or he was definitely heading that way and it's like oh no and now i'm gonna work with this beautiful teenager oh so i think sort of happy melancholy seems about right. It's one of those number ones that when it goes to number one, you just go, yeah, that makes sense. That's brilliant. I'm not going to buy it, but I won't need to because I'm going to hear it all the time now for a bit. So Dub Be Good To Me would spend one more week at number one before being usurped by The Power by Snap, and would finish the year as the seventh best-selling single of 1990. One ahead of Vogue by Madonna,

one behind Show Me Heaven by Maria McKee. The follow-up, won't talk about it, got to number nine in May, but their last single of 1990, Burundi Blues with Janet Kaye, only made it to number 51 and they never bothered the top 40 again, dissolving in late 1991. Meanwhile, Lindy Leighton's solo career began with a cover of Silly Games, also assisted by Janet Kaye, which got to number 22 in September.

But her only other encroachment on the top 40 was We Got The Love, which got to number 22 in September. But her only other encroachment on the top 40 was We Got The Love, which got to number 38 in two weeks in April of 1993. She's now a songwriter. And after the disbandment of Beats International, Cook went on to form the band Freak Power, whose debut single Turn On, Tune In, Cop Out, got to number 29 in October of 1993. But when it was used in a Levi's advert in 1995,

it was re-released and entered the chart at number three in March of that year, and he'd go on to be Fatboy Slim. Just be good to me, when the time is in the morning. Just be good to me, in the afternoon. Just be good to me. Well, we promised you a pretty good show, and I think we delivered our side of the bargain. That's Beats International. Stop tickling me. Don't be good to me. Week three at number one. Well, it's Phil Scofield coming up next on Radio 1,

and it's EastEnders on BBC 1. I'll see you for breakfast tomorrow at 6.30. Gary Davis next week. See you soon. Bye-bye. Mayo, firmly ensconced in the middle of a throng and complaining that he's being tickled, warns us that Philip Schofield is on Radio 1 right now. You're about to be subjected to EastEnders and Gary Davis is on next week before not even bothering to tell us who they're signing off with.

I'll tell you, it's Don't You Love Me by 49ers. Formed in Brescia by the producer Gianfranco Bortolotti in 1988, 49ers were a four-handed collective of DJs and producers who named themselves after the San Francisco 49ers, but also because their original singer, Dawn Mitchell, was the 49th person to audition for them. After two singles that did next to nothing in Europe, they hit the jackpot with their third, Touch Me, which went down a treat in the UK, getting to number three in January of this year.

This is the follow-up which leans heavily on Jodie Whatley's 1987 single, Don't You Want Me? And it's a new entry this week at number 28. Before we go any further, chaps, Philip Schofield in the Kid Jensen Janice long slot, that ain't right. A bit odd, innit? Top of the Pops is still being broadcast live on Radio 1, so I think they want all the kids to keep it locked to Radio 1 for a bit longer.

But no, fuck off. Yeah, yeah. yeah so finally we get some actual house music it's not a prime example of the genre i must admit it is slightly mean to say it's landfill house music but it's quite forgettable it's kind of like the mild covid of dance music yes um i mean it has all the elements it kind of speaks is omnicronic yeah i mean there was loads of this at the time like this is kind of you know throw away soulful dance stuff it kind of sounds like 10 other more familiar slightly better things it's a nice sound it's kind of slightly tinny but it's pleasing um a little bit of house piano black lady singer some bloke interjecting you know it's a very nice familiar sound palette and a respectable bpm yeah it's your bog standard house video isn't it lots of

party people who are more attracted than you getting busy and working that body and even i content striking a pose yeah it's essentially an extended christmas perfume advert isn't it before perfume others went mad yeah what i'm really hearing here i think is the roland 909 all right yeah i might be wrong because it's not quite my manner but i think it's that the box that was a big part of the sound of the early 90s there's a lot of hits from this period that are elevated by the sweet tambourine sound on that machine like do you remember that awful record insanity by oceanic and it's uh there's like a double time tambourine sound that comes in on the chorus and it's so good that it almost convinces you that what you're listening to is decent when in fact it's not it's terrible it's like if lazy

town made a record yeah but this is okay this is i mean this is one of the most okay records you could ever hear it's nothing special but you know at least it smells of exuberance and poppers yeah do you remember when poppers were bisexual it's weird isn't it gay bl exuberance and poppers. Do you remember when poppers were bisexual? It's weird, isn't it? Gay blokes have always had poppers, but I remember when kids used to do them. Really young, straight kids, like oiks. They were like the gateway drug.

They were like the top deck shandy of drugs. It's like doing balloons now. They used to do poppers. I remember going to the Heavenly Sunday Social years ago when it was in a pub basement someone would always smash a vial of amyl nitrate on the dance floor to create a a miasma you know nowadays amyl nitrate seems to be exclusively gay and who can blame it i suppose is it still legal or did it get swept away along with everything else that makes you feel any feelings with the Psychoactive Substances Act of 2015

or whatever it was? I'm not sure. There's little golden barrels of something for sale in my local pound shop, but I haven't investigated that close. Are you sure that's not like vape juice? Could be, could be. I mean, I'm not personally much of an expert on either dancing or homosexuality. I only dance when Yosemite Sam points his six-gun at my feet.

And I only do the other when he points it at my head. Or offers what is, at least to me, a substantial sum of money. But this record appears to me to be an example of Acid House gay crossover. And I'm not sure how much of a crossover there really was, because I'm just shooting in the dark here. Because although gay people will take drugs and dance to electronic music, if pushed, it's usually not while dressed in a fucking muumuu and a helmet haircut in a field on the outskirts of Braintree.

There's very few styles of modern popular music that didn't originate with gay people or black people or both. And Acid House obviously came down those same roads. But it's my perception is that there was a branch of house that went directly from Chicago to the gay clubs without passing through that field in Braintree. And another branch that snagged all the straight suburban kids and soundtracked all those summer nights of boggle-eyed idiot dancing, right?

But that's the one that's seen as significant because of who it appealed to, right? And the fact that it later extended into stuff like the charmingly named intelligent dance music what joy that was right was the other branch intelligent drum and bass fucking right was was the other branch led directly to euro dance and stuff that was actually fun and that lots of people really liked and you know i mean i'm out of my element here but it just seems to me like familiar patterns of snobbery and self-appointed objective judgment in pop music you know well maybe anything else to

say about this yeah it's like if somebody made a film about named his dance music but they couldn't afford to license any of the hits and had to get all the music off a library album called something like KPM 1396874 House. It's like the album of library music I've got in the Britpop style. KPM Britpop with a Union Jack on the front. It's fucking hilarious. I fancy that. It's really good.

It's a lot of generic brit pop style tracks like brit pop flavored tracks with the title was like look so pretty smashing time all right with you believe shake me let it roll it's a hilarious fucking proof of how easy that shit was to spoof and bluff right it's the sort of non-real records that you hear in jd sports right or right or in shaking supermarkets right it's basically musical clip art yeah i think some of them were written by jake shillingford the bloke from My Life Story. Yeah, no doubt while cackling through grimly gritted teeth. I mean, having met the fellow a few times,

I would imagine he'd be able to play it both ways in his mind, right, as simultaneously a sort of inverted glamorous down-on-your-luck scene and an intriguing interlude for the imaginary biography of the future you know like lou reed churning out cashing songs for pickwick records you know except that that was before the velvet underground yeah you know i mean it's not quite the brill building but i mean there are actual brit pop records in the charts that were worse than some of the tracks on there you know yeah and so what you like about the 49ers, which in our case is clearly not very much, but they were better than any of that.

So the following week, don't you love me, soared 14 places to number 14, and a week later managed to get to number 12, its highest position. The follow-up, Girl to Girl, got to number 31 in june of this year which would be their last pinch of the charty arse until 1995 when rocking my body also got to number 31 in march of that year and that me dears closes the book on this episode of top of the Pops. What's on telly afterwards? Well, BBC One kicks on with Doc Cotton being deluged with begging letters after a big bingo win in EastEnders,

and then Tomorrow's World looks at a dam in Leningrad that Soviet environmentalists want to blow up. Then it's half an hour of painter and decorator-related slagging about in brushstrokes, followed by the 9 o'clock news, Ben Elton, the man from Arntair, Crimewatch UK, Question Time, a Crimewatch UK update, highlights from the racing and highlights from the cricket. BBC Two has just started 925, the work-based magazine show, and are looking at how and why britain has the

shittiest workforce training record in europe and what the fuck we intend to do about it after a repeat of yes minister michael burke nips over to niagara falls and has a good look at it and then investigates why salmon has become cheaper than cod in the eco-show Nature. Then it's the first episode in the new series of French and Saunders who have a go at the sound of music and ABBA. This week's 40 Minutes documentary is the Bernie Mob Go Wild, where nine lads from the rough bit of Dundee go on a survival course on an uninhabited island and swear a lot. Then Small Objects of

Desire looks at the history of the aspirin. Then it's Newsnight, The Late Show, Half an Hour of Open University and Art. ITV is put on science fiction, shaking tomorrow's world. Then it's The Bill. Then this week looks at new legislation designed to meet the green policies that the public are demanding at the moment after the last in the series of taggart it's news at 10 regional news in your area a regional politics show in your area prisoner cell block h contacts a load of personal video ads for people who want sex and all sorts. Then it's the WWF show Superstars of Wrestling, some celebrity ramble from America, Three's Company, America's Top 40,

and news until 6am. Channel 4 finally get round to a repeat of the final episode of Brass, the Timothy West comedy series set in a mining town in the 30s followed by the crystal maze the 1989 film wildflowers about a lesbian affair on the west coast of scotland a documentary on the holocaust poet karen gershon called stranger in a strange land and they finished the night with the 1985 french film vertige about the rehearsal stage of a production of The Marriage of Figaro. Oh, Channel 4's still Channel 4.

So, me dears, what are we talking about in the playground tomorrow? I really don't... I think I might have been lost for words. Even at this tender age. At the time, I think I was suckered into getting cross about Candy Flip, but I think nowadays it'd be,

my God, did you see Bobby Gillespie dancing like he'd been hung from a lamppost? Prancing like a tit. What are we buying on Saturday? Probably Beats International. Yeah, I'm not sure I'd actually buy any of these records, all of which are more interesting to talk about than listen to. But I think Beats International is the one that sounds sweetest to me now. And what does this episode tell us about March of 1990?

The 90s haven't really started yet, but you can kind of see a little bit of which way the wind is blowing. And it's amazing how positively you can respond to almost anything when you're 17 and on drugs there's that sense of since this is my time it follows that all this music belongs to me and is therefore a part of me like a skin tag you know know. And then, stretching out ahead, the endless plane of fortune. But, you know, you make the best of it. And on that note, we come to the end of this episode of Chart Music.

Use your promotional flange, www.chart-music.co.uk, facebook.com slash chartmusicpodcast, reach out to us on Twitter, at Chart Music T-O-t-p money down the g-string patreon.com slash chart music thank you sarah b toodaloo god bless you taylor parks mind how you go my name's al needham and when i buy my flares i make sure they're really tight at the top and around the backside, so the

overall shape looks better. Chart music. Thank you. Do you like the railway children? Or no? Nice name. Ladies and gentlemen, now, where are we? Over here, this is... Who gives a fuck? This is another, in know, very popular series,

Interviews with Drunken Rockstars. But here, Wayne Hussey from The Mission, and he's celebrating, because, listen, you're doing well, aren't you? Number what in the charts? I don't fucking know. You don't know? Number 27. Number 27.

Oh, thanks, James. Number 27. Thank you, James. Number 27. Thank you for reminding me. It's just very... I'm very privileged to, thanks, James. Number 27. Thank you, James. Number 27. Thank you for reminding me. It's a very privilege to be here, actually. This is a very nice occasion for me and everything.

Fantastic. You've got lovely glasses. Do you like them? They are quite nice. They're sort of a little Leninesque, aren't they? Let's swap. A little Leninesque. Let's swap.

Let's swap. Let's have a go. All right. Thank you very much indeed. Let's have a... Oh, they're nice. Let's have a go. Oh right, thank you very much indeed. Let's have a... Oh, they're nice. Let's have a go. Oh, bloody hell. Wayne. Wayne, either you've been taking something

that's sort of transmitted through the glasses or... I've got perfect vision, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Let's swap back, Wayne. You haven't, have you? No, no, no. Mike.

Where are they? Well, they're... Sorry, can you... Don't, don't, don't do that to me. There. There you go, right. Wayne, listen, I mean, this't do that to me. There. There you go, right. Wait, listen, I mean, this all came as a bit of a shock to you, all this stardom over the last year or so, hasn't it?

Don't you think? I said, fuck. I expected it, really. You did. Why is the camera on me? Well... No, it's on here, number one on you. Number one on you.

There you go. That's number... No, you see the little... No, the interesting thing... I'll show you. This is a beautiful... You see the red lights over there? Red lights. Go, number, number. No, you see the little, no, the interesting thing, I'll show you. This is a beautiful thing. You see the red lights over there? Red lights.

Go to number one there. Red lights, red lights. Number one there. Yeah, that's right. Okay, let's go round. Number two in the middle, over here. Number two over there. Beautiful.

And then over there, number three. Fantastic. You can count. Yeah, you know, it's fair. That's more than I thought you were capable of. No, no, no, no, please. Please, what do you think about the... I love your earrings, actually.

Do you like mine? Yours is nice, yeah. Wayne, what about the future? Do you like predicting the future or not? I could give a shit, actually. You couldn't? No. No?

The future is here. Yeah. Fuck the rest of the world. Yeah, yeah. Give us that bottle of wine back. Yeah. You want another sweet? Yeah, OK.

No, I want the fucking lot, man. Jonathan, shall we bring Jonathan? I think you'd better come in here for a few moments, Jonathan, and sit down as we'll probably ruin your entire... All right, man. Yeah. I wish I was wearing my caftan now. Yeah, have a have.

Why is that? Can I wear that? You don't mind? Yes. It'll make him happy. It'll make him happy. It's not an earring after all. How about that?

That's OK. It's not bad, is it? What do you think? You're a pillock. Well an earring, after all. How about that? That's okay. It's not bad, is it? What do you think? You're a pillow. Well, thank you, Wayne. I liked you until now. The Mission were one of my favourite bands. We still are.

Let's have a little look through here. Wayne, watch my finger. Now, what's your date of birth? No. No, let's put you on the computer. Have you got him on the computer? I can put him into the computer quite easily. Let's put him into the computer.

What's your date of birth, Wayne? I've forgotten. I was going to say this could be tricky. Anybody know Wayne's date of birth? 26th of May. 26th of May. 26th of May. And I would say... 1928.

19... No, 19... Go on. 67. Seven? Golly. This is all the difference. Now, come along, Wayne. 1959 1909 I would say 58 59 oh what do you think I think the way a bunch of pelucs now I'm doing our best way we can't all

be pop stars you see we got oh yeah you're gonna read me fucking astrological chart by computer well come on yeah on, give us your date. That's right on. Give us your date. I'll tell you what. What I could do is show you the difference that a year would make in a person's life. We could work it out by private error. Could you do that? Yeah, well, if I set it down for 67, as Wayne says, and press calculate here,

what we get... You've got it wrong, haven't you, Chul? Oh, sure, but let's see what kind of a different chart we get. And you can see that here... Oh, that's nice. Wayne, the broken in the middle. Look at that. Broken completely in the middle. Which camera's on? Can you carry on with that? Yeah, just a moment. Wayne, look, I've got hang on, just a minute, just a minute, Wayne.

Hang on, just a minute, Wayne. I've got something to show you. I want to show you something. Come here, Wayne. No, Wayne, Wayne, come over here. Just over here. One moment, just pop While we're taking care of that, what happens over here? One moment. Just pop him outside the door here for a minute.

I'm going to pull up another year for Wayne here. Now. Wait, wait. Just stay over here. Roll VT. Wait. Right, OK. 46-10-00.

He's waiting for your call. Now. I'm sorry about that. 461000 He's waiting for your call now. I'm sorry about that. Now, don't for one minute think that we're going to have throw out a rock star every week on this show, because that would get monotonous and boring, but if you do have somebody you'd like to see thrown out of the show live on a Friday night, then please write to me,

James Whale, at Yorkshire Television. Alright? I'm sorry about that, Jonathan. It's embarrassing for a guest. I didn't think that he was... You know, Wayne has had a really good gig tonight. He's been playing locally and he's on a real high. And I'm sorry. It's nice, isn't it, though?

Because if you're a rock star, you can get away with that and it only makes your image look even better. Do you think so? I don't know. I don't know about that.