CheapShow - Ep 23: MCM Comic Con 2 The Revenge
Episode Date: June 7, 2016Cheapshow returns to MCM Comic Con for another live show... and this time, it's personal! Paul & Eli are joined in the flesh by Ash Frith as well as a super awesome live audience. In this 45 min live ...spectacular, we find out what the audience would choose as a super power, discover that Eli has very little tolerance for audience participation, rummage through a charity shop to find Fast Food Transformers as well as a Look-In annual and play a shoddy round of 80s TV show "Blockbusters" In the process, we are joined by a super taster, some kind of Pokemon and the smoothest sounding Riddler in the whole world. ...and yeah... the sound could be better.. but Hey "That's CheapShow" With thanks for MCM Comic Con, Videfest and the fantastic audience who joined in the fun! Share & Enjoy. Subscribe or Die! You can see pictures and accompanying videos on our website www.thecheapshow.co.uk If you want to get involved, email us at thecheapshow@gmail.com And if you have to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid If you like what you hear, please spread the word! Like, Review, Share, Comment... all that jazz! Subscribe to us on Stitcher, iTunes or most good podcast apps and get fortnightly fun WARNING *Show contains strong language and adult material
Transcript
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Hello, Cheap Show listener. My name is Paul Gannon, presenter, producer and host of, which are all the same job really, of Cheap Show.
And we recorded this episode, episode 23, at the MCM London Comic Con at the end of May.
Now, the sound desk had a few problems and I had to make do with recording the whole show on my little personal recorder.
I got rid of all the sound problems because there's a massive fan right behind the stage blowing quite a lot of gust of air.
And so I've done my best to make it as listenable as possible but i wanted to put this little caveat at the front of the episode just
to say we're sorry the sound's not great and then you have to now put up with it and with that in
mind ladies and gentlemen!
Stop.
I know you want to be billiards, but just from the diaphragm, not from the throat.
Ladies and gentlemen.
That's two.
Two off.
Obviously you said two and not zero two that time.
Ladies and gentlemen, it's Friday, Comic-Con, what is there to do?
Yes, come and watch a great podcast in its creative process.
I'm Eli Silverman.
There's other hosts. That's Paul Gannon.
The third one is Ash Priv.
Give it up!
Cheap Show!
Eli Silverman, who died today.
Wait.
Not yet. Give us time.
Have you, like, if you've ever heard or seen Cheap Show live before? We're going to be doing a live show today. Alex, how are you? Give us time.
Give us a cheer if you've ever heard or seen a cheap show live before.
Yes!
Liars.
There's a couple of liars, definitely.
We haven't done a live show in about a year, I don't think, have we?
No.
Last October.
Was it October?
We've done it since then, sure. Six months in my head. We haven't done it live in six months.
Anyway, we're Rusty.
So, not cool Rusty like Rusty Venture or there's no other Rustys I can think of.
Rusty Lee.
Rusty Lee.
Again, reference lost on a very good crowd.
Basically they're used to the fact that there's going to be a lot of 80s references tonight
that you might have missed.
I love Rusty. Mr. T?
Yeah!
You can't just say things from the 80s and say that's a reference.
Floella Benjamin!
Like, that was less popular than Mr. T.
Well, of course, Floella Benjamin.
Roman Bratt.
Yeah!
What a fan!
The Super Roman Bratt fan.
That was great.
Anyway, so this is the economy...
I can't even say it.
This is the economy comedy podcast for your ears.
The Cheap Show is a show that kind of roots
from the litter bins, charity shops,
second-hand shops, brick stores of the world
and come back with a lot of shit
and call it entertainment.
Are we doing bins now?
Yeah.
By the way, I found this for you.
So, you know how you collect rubbish off the floor?
Yeah.
Interesting rubbish.
Interesting rubbish.
Can someone help Paul with his...
20 minutes of every show is Paul going to be talking.
Right, I've got it. Ready?
I found this on the floor.
It's a tiny dagger.
Oh, I love that. Oh, thanks, Paul. That the floor. It's a tiny dagger. Oh, I love that.
Oh, thanks, Paul. That's great.
I see it. It's a tiny dagger.
I don't know what it came from.
Hold me close, a tiny dagger.
Shank him.
Thank you.
Did you say shank him?
No, he said jank him.
Wow.
What did he say?
We don't bring up Jenkin.
We don't do Jenkin here.
So what we're going to do is we're going to start off with Ash.
We've got something prepared for us, so let's take it away with Ash.
I haven't got anything prepared as such.
It's just that I love...
This is my first Comic Con that I've ever come to.
And I love the fact that it is brilliant.
There's so much happiness and everyone is so...
Everyone's smiling, which I absolutely love.
And I like that you've got Pikachu
just there looking awesome.
And it took a while for me to realise
that I think that you've put time
and effort into Pikachu there.
But it doesn't matter.
There's Bojack Horseman there as well.
You can come along
and just be whatever you want to be.
Pikachu could be like you. You put the effort and just be whatever you want to be. Pikachu could be like you.
You put the effort and the time in.
It could be a beautiful woman can be Pikachu.
Or just a guy wearing a yellow t-shirt who's saying he's Pikachu.
And everyone just accepts that, don't they?
Did you say no?
You have to go to that nth degree.
That's not Pikachu.
That's not Pikachu.
You're sanctively saying it all. You have to go to that nth degree. It's not Pikachu. That's not Pikachu.
You're effectively saying it's us.
I know. I don't know.
So you're not Pikachu. You're the other one.
Huh?
Brain of a...
Brain of a...
Brain of a...
Brain of a...
Wait, wait, wait a minute.
No, I'm speaking properly because I can grow.
Say it nice again.
RENAMON!
I didn't hear it either.
But there's a thing, genuinely that is a thing because if you go somewhere else, I
think, where they're obsessed with things and they love things, and you get it wrong.
I'm a football fan.
If you go to a football fan, if you go to a football game and you're, say, an Arsenal fan, and you go, oh, I loved it when Arsenal won the
Cup in 1961. And they go, no, no, that was Tottenham, and now we're going to kick your
head in. Whereas I just called you Pikachu to your face, like 20 times. And you just,
all you wanted to do was educate me rather than hurt me. Although I don't know
you were doing something. I imagine that
Renomar has got some powers that you
were trying to hit me with at that point.
He's digging in a bag now.
You're going to shoot me in the face aren't you?
It's got an umbrella.
It's got an umbrella.
Was that carried out at Mary Wuppins then?
I don't know what it was but I suddenly feel really horny.
Whoa.
But no, I just love it.
And I love that people are coming around.
It's sort of like, I was talking before to Paul,
it's not exactly what I thought it was going to be.
I think it's better than I thought it was going to be,
because it's really inclusive.
I think it's that kind of thing where everyone here is really inclusive with everyone else
and you can get things wrong.
And I went up to...
I'm just getting into comics,
so I go up to a comic stand over there
and the guy was happy to talk to me like an idiot
because I'm new.
He goes,
what are you looking for?
And I was like,
I don't know anything,
but I like looking at nice pictures.
And I was thinking it was going to be more
sort of superhero stuff, really.
And there's not a huge amount of superhero stuff here. Although, is that Spider-Man or
Deadpool at the back of the whole thing? I can't hear you, but I saw your mouth move.
It could be anything. That's Spider-Man. It's Spider-Pool. Spider that's right. But I got to thinking beforehand, I was thinking if I could have any superpower, what superpower would I have?
And I thought there'd be people here that would have good examples.
I've done this on stage before, believe it or not, just doing a stand-up set, and I've asked people what superpowers they would have.
And I've had some really good answers before.
In all the shot ones, I've blown, I said what superhero have you had?
And it's the guy in the front row and he said the ability to love, which I think is maybe the saddest answer that anyone could possibly guess.
Did you say the ability to make love? The ability to make love.
Hey, look at that, I'm a superhero. Boom! No, no, no, we've both met your girlfriend and you're not.
Someone else once said, I asked him what superpower he'd have, and he said,
the ability to see through windows.
I was like, but we all laugh, right? This is serious.
You've all laughed then, but what if you've just got that superpower?
And not everyone else has.
He hasn't got it.
Mind blown.
But I think he was under a bit of pressure.
So I thought I'd ask some audience members as well.
What superpower would you have?
You could have any superpower.
I would like to have the superpower, right, to control minds.
I would be, what's his name, Mr. Purple?
By the way, I know what I said...
Right!
I know, I know...
Mr Purple? Who's that?
He's David Tennant, who plays the role of Jesse Jones.
And he's a guy who can make you do anything.
So if I said to you right now, Eli,
drop your trousers and do a poo,
you would... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, by saying that, I know it's cool, superpower can be used for evil.
You would just use it to make Eli drop his powers and then drop his pants and poop.
He wouldn't need that power, would he?
Just give me a biscuit.
The thing is, if anyone takes the podcast, Eli will drop his pants and poop.
No, I won't!
At the drop of a hat.
Right, it's my turn, my superpower now.
Yes. I would like the superpower to be able to distinguish by smell alone every single brand of hair gel ever made.
I still think of the applications.
I'm trying to and I'm not processing it quickly enough.
Well, you know, I can help people when they're getting ready to go out and stuff.
I want to do my hair but I need it done specifically by V.O. Fine.
Which is this, I don't know, maybe the label's fallen off
Which one is it?
What do they call you?
Drive around
No, they need to project like Batman
They project like a big Vidal Sassoon sort of thing
They've confused having a superpower with being a hairdresser
You need to be a hairdresser
Maybe I do
In that case, you do already look like one You look like an 80 hairdresser. Oh right, so it's the personal tax you're starting now. I thought we weren't going to do this. I didn't say we weren't going to do this. You look like you didn't even dress. You look like you didn't even dress. That's good because I'm fully naked right now on stage, aren't I Mr Silverman No. Luckily, this lady over here's superpower is to have you...
Even if you're naked, she sees you fully dressed
on the ice.
Yeah, I don't blame you. In fact, if I would
extend that idea, I would put more and more
clothes on top of this.
Until I'm literally one big mound of Jigglypuff
style clothing monster.
Jigglypuff?
I made the Pokemon...
There's only 500 of them, because I was bound to get one right.
There's a Wanko Jigglypuff, there's Mewtwo, there's Flirtle...
There's not Pikachu.
No, I'll pick anyone I want.
There's that one.
Which one? That's an umbrella, that's a separate thing.
No, the guy with the eye. What's his name?
Humpwey-o.
Humpwey-o.
Humpwey-o.
Humpwey-o. Humpwey-o. This is the thing about when people shout out Pikachu names, it could be... What's his name? Humbrion. Humbrion. Humbrion.
Humbrion.
This is the thing about when people shout out people's names.
It could be... No, no, no.
This is what I was saying.
But do you see how it is accepted?
You did have a bit of anger in your voice there, I'll be honest.
But I've said it wrong four times.
And people, they just want to educate me.
I'm not the enemy here.
No.
I mean, yeah. Yeah. I'm so the enemy here. No. I mean, yeah.
Yeah, I've heard of him.
So, I've got a superpower. Do you have? What's your name, sir?
Yeah.
Lloyd.
Lloyd.
What's he say?
Lloyd.
No?
That's his name.
Is he a Pikachu?
Lye-in.
Lye-in.
He's another Pokemon.
That is a very important
I still didn't hear what he said
A lion
No, he's not going to have the superpower of a lion
That'd be a good superpower
You'd be willing to have a lion
In some time of a different dimension
Even if you had to go to work
Like a clone of you just goes into work for you
You could just lie in
Whatever
Even if it was the end of the universe,
like the big crunch,
you could have a lie in.
Could you not touch me?
How do you find your way for the microphone?
Because all of a sudden it sounds like the Scream serial killer
shouting down bigotry names.
Again, I like the way,
I like to find a practical way of having that superpower.
If your superpower was to have a lie in,
just become a stand-up comedian,
then I basically don't get out of bed before lunchtime
at any given day.
Quite a long bottom that fall, shall we move on?
Yeah, we've got a lot to get through.
I didn't find out what your superpower would actually be.
Yeah, lie-in.
She said he wants to have a lie-in.
No, that's his name.
His name's Lion?
Yes!
Then what's his superpower?
Let's get his superpower.
That's what I'm saying.
I'm going over there.
So, what's your superpower, Rick?
Open doors.
Open any door.
Open any door.
It's a good one.
I mean, there's automatic doors already, isn't there?
Just go to Tesco.
Your mind will be blown.
In fact, yeah.
Stand by the automatic doors at that store and just go,
oh.
For three hours, can someone move the guy on? Yeah, yeah, standing by the automatic doors at Asda and just go, For three hours, can someone move the guy on? There's a strange man with long ginger hair waving at people entering shops.
He thinks he's a Jedi.
What is your problem with opening doors as it is?
It's open the door to anywhere.
Oh, that's brilliant. Open the door to anywhere.
Like Asda. To a door to the universe anywhere. Like, just that.
To a swingers club.
Right, go on.
To a swingers club.
What's that?
That's the second thing you thought of.
Well, single men aren't invited usually, are they?
I don't know if you're single, but, you know, if you...
Don't point at him and say single men aren't invited usually, are they?
Odds are.
Not odds are.
Not odds are. Nid Odd's are! Nid Odd's are! Beth rwy'n ei ddweud yw, os oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes oes o No, you're right. Yes, you're right. This has gone horribly wrong.
On every level.
Right?
Can we just accept that this section was dead?
In the water.
As soon as you brought me and Eli into it,
your astute observations were trampled upon like Colonel Hardy marching to the...
I had a lot of fun talking to the people.
Yeah?
Yeah.
That's called being random. Right. We're going to move on, because we have a secret of fun talking to people. Yeah? Yeah. That's called being random.
Right.
We're going to move on, because we have a secret donation of some food.
We're going to do Cheap Eats now.
Cheap Eats.
Cheap Eats.
Is there a jingle for Cheap Eats?
No, there's no jingle for Cheap Eats.
But I can explain it.
Cheap Eats is the section of our podcast.
Cheap Show podcast.
Stop touching me.
Thank you.
Yes.
Yes.
I love you too.
I just needed to be more. I know, I know. So, ladies
and gentlemen, She Needs is a part of our podcast where we will test some food, cheap
food usually, snacks, junk food, convenience store, fair, and give it a mark out, a rhoi'r cyfrif arnau 10.
Dylem roi'r cyfrif yn y jingle, dylem?
Gwneud amdanyn nhw.
Nid.
Welkom i Cheap Eats, rydym yn bwydo.
Weithiau mae'n rhyfeddol.
Cheap Eats, Cheap Eats, yn eich goff.
O, mae'n dechrau droi.
feet in your gob, oh, it begins to throb.
Wow.
Please don't.
People get so bored at these Comic Cons, don't they?
Some idiot making rhymes up.
Back in a... When you said the word throb, that's the funniest thing that matters ever.
Oh, mate, you should listen to our podcast and rate and subscribe.
Right, let's do it.
I'm into this. Right, so if do it. I'm into this quite slowly.
Are we all changing hands here?
No, well, it would help if you...
Oh, God almighty.
Right, so we've been offered some kosher crisps.
Oh, lovely.
So these are all kosher,
and that's as far as my ignorant understanding
of other people's races and religions ends.
I cause a problem with this every month because I'm vegetarian.
So if anything is really disgusting,
I can always just play the vegetarian card and swap talents.
Is that what's going to happen now?
I don't know.
We've got a fair few.
So what we'll do is do one or two now,
and then we'll take a left for an episode, okay?
For a studio show.
So the first one is called Popco.
Oooh!
Butterscotch flavoured corn snack.
It's not popcorn then, it's corn snack.
It looks like popcorn though, doesn't it?
Well there must be some reason why they're not legally allowed to call it popcorn.
In my experience, when it's called like corn-based snack or popcorn-style snack,
it is normally the most repugnant thing you've ever eaten.
Or chocolate-flavoured biscuits.
It's like, what, not chocolate? Not chocolate? You couldn't even stretch to that?
Right, so it is, being in the pack, just popcorn.
Essentially it's popcorn. So this is like buying knock-off popcorn, just popcorn. Essentially it's popcorn.
So this is like buying knock-off popcorn, considering popcorn is the cheapest thing you can get anyway.
I'm not checking if it's veggie. It is.
We haven't checked if it's veggie yet.
Don't eat it.
Oh, it's going to be veggie.
I don't know.
Smells like...
It's got duck's feet in it.
Smells like...
No, it's fine.
You know when you've got a pet that lives in the house? Yeah. Smells like that. Dwcs! Feet hynny. Mae'n cwmio fel... Dwi'n gwybod... Dwi'n gwybod pan mae gennych chi'r pet sy'n byw yn y tÅ·.
Ie.
Mae'n cwmio fel hynny.
Mae'n gael sgwrs o bwysau bwysau.
Does dim cwmio fel...
Yn ymddiried, dwi'n gwybod, sgocci bwysau?
Ie, mae'n sgocci bwysau.
Iawn.
Dwi'n cwmio beth dwi'n cwmio.
Felly, dwi'n mynd i fynd i fynd. Cwmwch, dwi'n gwybod. I Right, just say what I smell. Shall I go for it?
Please don't do that, Eli. Yeah, try it.
It's alright.
This is the show. You watch Eli eat.
See, they figured out I really had to bail him.
That's very nice.
What would you rate it out of ten?
I'd give it a six.
That's alright. That is good.
I don't know if it's popcorn or popcorn-style snack, but that's a good point.
Alright, let's give it a push. Who wants to try a bush you do?
Say throb to his face again, see what happens.
In your mouth, should, consider your thoughts and feelings.
Is it throbbing?
I'll take it.
It's a throbbing.
And there's the review. Say it, say it.
Oh, I remember you.
Will the supertaster move?
Will the supertaster?
Or you're lying right now on me.
Are you the supertaster, dude?
Come back.
Yeah.
Rub your hand in.
Rub the back of your hand.
Rub the back of your hand.
Rub his hand.
Why are you making him rub his hand?
I hope not!
You weren't him the last time.
So let me get you up to speed.
This guy, his brother's a supertaster.
Don't do that! He's not a liar!
And one of the techniques is you lick your hand before you say something.
Sniff it.
I like the way you... like no one is lying about their brother being a supertaster.
Yeah, well, I, no, I actually happen to believe that there's no such thing as profound level
supertasters.
It's bullshit.
Anyway, that's my personal opinion.
I love that you think that's a chat-up line or something that someone would do that's
a lie.
Oh, yeah, well, I do come here quite often.
Shut up!
My brother is a supertaster.
Oh, well good to know.
Alright, so, Chew, you can sit down and let go.
It's disgusting.
It is quite nice.
What about the lady who wouldn't come into the middle,
who's still totally ignoring the whole show because she's bidding on eBay or something?
She's working, give her a break!
At least she's working in this room, not us!
Ooooooh!
It's a moment on stage where not a lot is happening, isn't it?
Yes.
I've got this for the last time.
It tastes like really good.
It's got that butterscotch, it really is very good.
I can't taste the kosher, you know?
I thought the kosher would be this bitter, bitter thing, but it isn't.
So, good.
What's next?
It's popcorn, we've wasted five minutes on popcorn.
This is a bit more interesting.
I don't think any of this is wasting time. I'll show you interesting it's Bissellys extra long
pizza flavored party snack. They look like little empty Battenbergs. What do you think, how's it going? They're vegetarian, so that's good.
They're vegetarian.
Oh, they're very nice.
Oh, thank God.
I assume you mean like Battenbergs, they've got a sort of square, dissected, with a cross.
It's not very chill, but...
Again, they smell like non-foodstuffs.
Mmm.
You like that?
Oh, that's good.
It was alright, I'll give it
six. Can you give us a description?
It tastes
of pizza and it's
crunchy. Have you ever eaten like a bit
of brick dust? Yeah.
Oh, that's why I like it.
I like it that way, so I read it on the
master board. Oh, he's going, look at him!
Oh, look at Mr Piggy.
Om nom nom nom nom. Take it to the people. O, edrych ar hwn. O, edrych ar Mr Piggy. O, ym, ym, ym, ym, ym.
Ie, tynni'r pethau i'r bobl.
Ie, tynni'r pethau i'r bobl. Rwy'n hapus am hynny.
Ydych chi'n mynd yn ffyn?
Eli, mae'n mynd i mewn i'r croes.
E, peidiwch â rhoi'r pethau i'r Supertaster. Mae hynny'n ffavoritaeth.
Maen nhw'n dda iawn.
O, maen nhw'n dda iawn. Peidiwch â rhoi'r pethau i'r gwaith. Mae wedi mynd.
Mae llawer o bobl yn ddylai cael bwyd horfedol yn eu llawr nawr. Very nice. No, give it to him, he's had it go. Vary it up. There are lots of people willing to have horrible food in their mouth right now.
Give it to him, give it to him.
Coming down the aisle.
Coming down the aisle.
Coming down, there you go.
Did he go that most difficult route to the finish?
Yeah.
Is he?
That was just the landing.
Did he give it five?
You fucked that up.
No, he didn't fuck it up.
He had an opinion you disagree with.
He wanted to give it a nice score and he wanted to give it a happy score.
Shoot it four.
I'm giving it, I'm giving it four.
This is not making it into the final edit, is it, again?
This is crazy.
This is crazy. This is crazy. This is give me an average score. Shoot a 4.
I'm giving it a 4.
This is not making it into the final edit, is it?
This is great stuff.
This is gold. I gave it 6.
And this is going to be a 6.
What happened?
A 6. So that's an average score, right?
I gave it 6.
Oh, it was just another fucking 6.
Bad way of doing it, wasn't it?
What do you think it did?
I thought you were at 5.
5? Well, 4 for you.
Middle of the road.
I'll give it a 6.
Yeah? So overall,
on Icon Goods, 6.
Quite a nice pizzeria taste, though, though.
Yeah, things I said 5 minutes ago.
I want a wine juice as well. This feels like we've gone on a one-way trip around the world Yeah, things I said five minutes ago.
This feels like we've gone on a one-way trip around the world.
I go, oh, look, we're back here again.
Can't we have one more TV?
No, we've got lots of stuff to get through. Oh, always.
We'll save the rest for a future episode, because God help us, we need the material.
So, we're going to do my favourite part of the show.
It's the Price of Shite! Let's rock it.
I'm ready. Right. Oh it's the fucking Price of Shite.
Oh it's the fucking Price of Shite. Oh it's the fucking Price of Shite.
Oh it's the fucking Price of Shite! And that's right! Thank you.
I'm glad it wasn't yours.
Two people clapped.
Three people clapped.
Any of you guys got four people clapped?
Five people clapped. Six people clapped.
Everyone's got five!
Zero five people clapped.
Right, so here's how it goes.
I picked three items.
I bought three items from a charity shop.
We're going to see who can price it, but there's a competition element when we do it live,
so you're both gonna choose, but we need one person from the audience to come on stage
and play against these two reprobates.
The chap?
No, you can't, because you've done it. No, no, we need someone who's not biased.
This guy up back there was very quickly up with a hand.
With the cane.
With the cane.
He's the Riddler.
Yes.
Make sure you get that right. See, I was too scared to commit to him being the Riddler, though. No, I think he is. He's the Riddler. Come on. Ladies and gentlemen, the Riddler. Yes. See, I was too scared to commit to him being the Riddler there.
No, he is. He's the Riddler.
Ladies and gentlemen, the Riddler.
Come on, come on in.
We have to be close to the mic, so you will have to be
very... How are you doing?
Yeah, doing alright. What's your name, Riddler?
I know you're Ben. Ben the Riddler.
I like his voice.
It's very kind of... You's a good voice for radio.
You're listening to Drive Time.
Say this.
It's Drive Time.
The news is coming up at six.
It's Drive Time.
The news is coming up at six.
I think I had a sticky accident.
First of all, I have to ask you a question.
Are you vegetarian? No. Excellent you a question. Are you vegetarian?
No.
Excellent.
Second question.
Do you like putting
horrible things in your mouth?
Depends.
Now this is a joke.
Because it's a forfeit.
I would avoid it again.
You will each have a chance
to guess the prize.
Whoever's furthest out
will take one of these.
These aren't vegetarian anyway.
Check the comments.
The Bean Boozled Jelly Belly.
If you've never seen these before,
these are ten coloured jelly bellies.
Each colour has two flavours,
so it could be socks or tutti frutti,
canned dog food or chocolate pudding,
or peach and barf.
What about very coloured toothpaste?
We have...
Toothpaste is shit, though, isn't it?
I like toothpaste.
How is that a bad thing?
It's not a bad thing.
It just tastes like mint.
They should remove that.
No, it's very good.
That's not disgusting.
Who's disgusted by toothpaste?
No one.
They put it in their mouth every day.
Right.
I don't know.
They screwed up.
This is not a town hall meeting.
Thank you. Like B not a town hall meeting. Thank you.
Like, finally someone can charge.
Three items, right?
I'm going to bring one out, one at a time.
All you've got to do is take a guess at the prize.
Whoever's furthest out at the end of each one eats a jelly belly.
It could be nice, though, so you might get off lightly.
Or it might be horrible, and I at least...
It might be toothpaste.
Well, yeah, but that's not much of a game.
It's like, who wants to eat toothpaste?
It'll rot your guts.
Come on!
Right, here is the first item on today's Price is Shite.
It is a looking annual.
Now, this is not an original looking manual,
if I'm being blatantly honest,
but it is the best in the 80s.
Just at a random page, just open it up and look.
The hits of 1981.
I have a horrible feeling most of the audience have family members who are older than them and weren't born in 1981.
Oh, there's a piece up there.
No, that's dollar.
You've got Phil Cummings, Adam Ant, Shaken Stevens,
Shut Up Your Face, Joe Dolce,
and that's Kim Wilde.
What? Is that Kim Wilde?
Yeah, she was a bit of a wilde.
Oh, God.
Phil Collins.
All right, okay, so here's a question,
that randomly from the book.
Question 15.
Being with you was a smash for Motown's Smokey Robinson.
What was the name of his former backing group?
Smokey Robinson and the Miracles.
The Emphasimals. Miracles.
Bob.
The answer is... The Miracles.
Eli Silverman knows a lot about crap.
Yeah, but he's a DJ, isn't he?
But barely. Anyone can play records.
My dad was a DJ though, logic.
Right, er...
What else is randomly in here?
Look! Look at this!
An 18... 18 comic book script.
Everybody's favourite!
Mystery!
So I'll pity the fool
whoever doesn't get this right.
So, um, I'll just make some background before I make my guess here for you.
Now, you're saying this is not an actual vintage...
No.
...uh, an album?
It's not.
...an annual album?
Yeah.
This is sort of like a modern day repress of some sort of stuff.
A reimagining.
A reimagining.
A reboot, if you will.
Yes.
So, I got it in Oxfam.
How am I allowed to see the original price?
Yeah, because it says £12.99.
£12.99!
£12.99?
It did not cost £12.99 from Oxfam.
The question is, what price was it?
I'm going to go... Shall I go first?
Yeah, come a bit closer. We can actually get your answer.
Well, I think it was... I'm going to go, shall I go first? Yeah, come a bit closer, we can actually hear your answer.
Well, I think it was, I'm going to go for £1.29.
£1.29. Ash, what do you say?
I'm going to say that is a £2 book.
Right, £2, £1 what?
£20.29.
£20.29. Ben, was it? Sorry?
Yeah, Ben, what are you thinking?
Oh, I don't know.
But I think you're going a little too high. I'm going to say one pound.
One pound. The answer was one pound and 99p. Ashwell's closest within a penny, which means
unfortunately for you, sir, you're taking a Jelly Belly. So again, this is totally random,
although I am going to use the little spinner so he can pick a colour out when it lands. So I'm spinning it and it's landed on...
Juicy Apple or Snot.
Juicy Apple or Snot.
Are you ready?
Oh yeah, you take it out of your fingers and give it to him.
That's fine.
There you go. He's chewing it. What flavour have you got?
It doesn't seem to have a flavour.
That's fine.
No, no, no, no.
Apple, apple.
Oh, you jay son!
Bollocks.
Here's the next one, then the next price
of shite.
£2! That is depreciated,
isn't it? It really has depreciated,
but I reap the benefits, because I got that
for me. Right, so. What do you get for benefits?
Here's the next thing I've got. It is,
and I bought this two at a time,
these rare
McDonald's Transformer Happy Meal
toys.
I don't have the whole set, but one is a little
box of french fries that transforms quickly
into a robot. Observe.
I have the worst... You want sound effects?
Yeah, you do sound effects.
It's like having that guy from Police Academy fight.
It's like, oh, there's a helicopter coming over.
Imagine that against Megatron.
Yeah, it's a good start.
What's that?
No, here's the other one.
It's a milkshake.
You open it thus.
Doesn't your milkshake bring all the voices to the island?
Yeah, but Dan might be better than yours.
So there's the next one.
Look at his little face. He looks sheepish.
That doesn't look like a fucking robot.
Looks like an Aztec god to me.
Yes. A tiki cup of milkshake.
So it's paid from a charity shop.
Two for 1 price.
I reckon you might stretch the budget with these.
I had no idea of the value.
On eBay they probably fetch a little bit.
How many years ago did this come out?
I think 88.
So 100 years ago.
So what do you think?
You can have a little investigation.
I'm going to charity shop.
Charity shop, two for one.
This one has still got some of the charity smeared on the side of it.
No, it's mine.
Right.
I reckon, Ash, what do you think?
For the pair?
Yeah.
I'm going to say, I'm hoping that you picked up an absolute bargain here and they were
three pounds.
Three pounds, okay.
Ben, what do you think?
Oh, let's see.
Well, I like McDonald's, so I'm going to say four pounds.
You really like eating beans, don't you?
I don't want to help you, but try again.
Okay, I'm going to do that.
I will say, Ben'm going to do that. I will say
£1.50.
£1.50. What did you say?
£3.
What do you think?
£2.
The price for both of these
was 50 pence.
Wow!
50 pence.
I'm made out like a gangster!
Should we have looked on internet what they were.
No.
Excellent.
There you go, I didn't do the research, I just bought them.
So, that means you're the furthest out.
So, I get to spin the wheel of Bee Boozles.
Spin the wheel of Bee Hats.
And it lands on caramel corn or bulky cheese.
Delicious.
Randomly chosen.
Oh, random my arse.
Random my arse is one of the flavors.
Yeah, it is.
What do you think?
Of course it's fucking cheese.
Yes.
Swallow it. Swallow it!
Swallow it down!
It's like that dream I had!
Complicated
psychology. Right.
Right, final one. I'm winning so far.
Final one. This is the
piece de resistance.
Equality of choice.
Paul.
For the crew, the whole set is worth 15 quid.
The whole set is worth 15 quid? How many for them?
So that's about right then, 50p on average.
Right, so the last one today.
I found on Ebay that someone was charging 70 quid for a set of 12.
70 quid for a set of 12?
I don't think I'm going to get that, but it's nice to know I can go on
Antiques Roadshow and be laughed. The final thing today that I bought for Price of Shite...
Ash is not happy.
They linger around, don't they?
Yeah.
They get stuck in your teeth and they just...
They molest the palette.
Get used to it. It's going to be with you for a while.
Here we go. Anyway, the last one on Price of Shite is this. It is the Blockbusters Board Game Set.
Yeah. Now it did come with... Can I have a pee please Paul?
I hate your guts. Yeah. Right. So, what I will say about this, shut up, just shut up, please calm.
Here's what I'll say.
I didn't bring it all with me because it was big, but it did come in the box, it did come with the set, with tons of questions, I just brought the basics for show.
So it's all complete in its box.
Can I guess first?
Yes, you can guess first.
£1.75.
£1.75.
Ben, I'm going to go with you.
What do you think the block must have said this word? I'm going to say £1.75. £1.75. Ben, I'm going to go with you. What do you think the block was to set his work?
I'm going to say £1.
£1.
And finally, Mr. Britt.
Seeing as it's certainly some work, I'm going to go £3.
£3.
Now, who do you think is the closest, ladies and gentlemen?
Give me a cheer if you think Ben's the closest with his choice of...
One pound.
Ash hates his mouth.
What did Ash say? You said three pounds.
Who thinks Ash was right?
Thank you.
Do you hear the depression in the room?
And finally, who thinks Eli is right?
Yeah!
I love this guy.
In that case, I'll say
the winner is Eli
because it is £1
and 99p again.
I am the champion,
my friends.
And you can shut up
and eat a bean!
No, no, no! Unfortunately, Ash has to now eat the bean.
I'm twisted! Let me do the thing!
Alright, you spin it.
Alright. What do you want, vomit?
Yeah, vomit.
Just take it away. Just take it away.
Oh, you know you've got vomit!
Oh!
Oh, you're moving!
Yeah, with the power of my mind.
No, with the power of your fingers.
On to vomit.
It might not be vomit, it might be peach now.
It might be peach.
Come on.
Again, I love the way you fingered it and how you gave it to me.
In your mouth.
What is it?
You know what it is!
Vomit. Oh my God. No one is!
Oh my God!
Tell you what, you've been in good sports, you pick one of those out and I'll eat it. Any one you want.
Don't do blue because that's toothpaste and that's book.
Idiot.
That is a policy.
The brown ones are not nice.
Oh, they're not even nice!
How do you the brown?
Thank you.
So many jokes I don't want to make right now.
Is this chocolate pudding or dog food?
Who do you think it is?
Here we go.
Yes!
Dog food!
You're a dog! You're a dog food! New dog! New dog food!
I did it!
Pongcore, he says!
You just got your bum-buck jacket and on the carpet!
I volunteer!
You volunteer?
I volunteer!
Right, he's got a very red face.
I am not happy.
I don't know how it can be consistently that I get the thing that's the most disgusting.
So we're going to test it for two of you and what do we want?
It landed on...
2D34 Stinky Socks.
Yay!
Yay!
Gotta find it.
Just get your hand in there good and proper.
Here you go.
Does he wash his hands after the toilet?
No, he doesn't wash his hands.
He's got tootie.
He's going to become a got tootie fruity.
It's the socks.
Yay!
He's a man of his name, what's that?
I don't know what socks taste like.
It's that practice. Anyway, know what socks taste like. Yeah.
Anyway, Ben, we've got the new show.
Hooray!
Thank you, Ben!
Right, so then, finally,
we are going to make use of one of the price of shites.
And we're going to end tonight by playing...
Blockbusters!
I'll be an alcoholic please, Bob.
Nobody else saw Blockbusters in the 80s.
There was a whole dance and everything. You missed it.
There was. Clap, clap, wobble wobble, bop bop bop bop.
Was that the official thing? Clap, clap, wobble wobble?
Yeah.
We're going to do it like they do it on the telly. So Eli, you'll be on your own going down the board.
That's usual.
Ash, you'll pick contestants. Who do you want from these lucky people?
This guy is my favourite.
Oh, right then. Come on up then you, since it's Ash's choice.
What's your name again?
Rory.
Rory?
Yeah, that'll do.
Like that'll do.
Yes!
Hello, boy.
What is it actually?
What?
What is your name actually?
Rory.
Rory.
Yeah.
Rory.
Rory.
Rory.
No, it's got a different vowel sound.
Doesn't matter. That'll do. Rory. That'll it's got a different vowel sound! Doesn't matter, doesn't matter.
It's over for you Tim, let me just say that before we even start.
I think it's over for me before I turned up today to be honest.
Right, so here's how this is going to work.
And the word is awkwardly.
Right, so, because you're going through a day and you have a few more to go, you can start.
I'll let you do it on your own.
So, what you want from the wall is, any one of those letters you can start with.
I'll have the G please, Rob. You're going to start with G. Oh, right here in fact, which is handy.
So, is this all of you? If you think you know, put your hand up, the first time I see you answers the question, okay?
So, here we go. What G is a Japanese girl trained as an entertainer?
Me, Geisha!
Is correct!
The minute he thinks he's gonna win it like he goes crazy
And then he drinks and then he gets depressed
Paul, this is not winning in life
No it's not
Right, so you get to pick the next one then
What do you wanna do?
I'll go for an hard pick, Mark
A
Right, meet Reggie
What A is the highest male voice?
Ash.
This guy.
No.
Don't throw it away because the losers need to be moved on.
I got one.
Go on, go on, you can do it.
Alto. Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. What? I don't, I get to go, they don't get to fucking...
They buzz in. They block you.
You don't buzz in. Once I've got one right, I get a question.
Yeah, and you did, you picked it, but you didn't get it right, so they didn't...
No, I get, I get...
THAT'S HOW IT WORKS!
I don't think so. I don't think so.
Ash and Rory.
Which one are you going to go with next? You're going to cross the board so you can go with U or S or T. U. So I get a chance now. I can answer this if I get it first. Yeah. That's how it works. Yes. Alright. Fine.
Right. Doesn't seem fine. It's fine. Here we go. You.
First, anyone can answer, so get ready. Here you go.
What you
is the group who had a hit in 1981
with the song
Vienna. Ultravox! Ultravox!
It's me, Ultravox! Ultravox!
I'm gonna give it to you, but you have
to put your hand up first. I wasn't
I wasn't the last to know, so I figured.
Because if you shout out and you get it and you don't put your hand up, they can steal it.
So give me your hand.
So you get a blue.
How long have you got because this is going to take forever?
We've got five minutes!
Hold it, Simon. We're going to speed this up.
Alright, here we go.
Pick one next. What do the word for S or O?
You can pick.
I've got S.
You know I said speed up.
S, please, Bob!
S.
I'm trying to go in a straight line.
S is my next one to go on the straight line down.
Aren't you going...
Here we go.
I'm going top to bottom, right?
No, white.
Top to bottom. Oh, yeah. You're white. We've got five to bottom, right? No, white. Top to bottom.
Oh, yeah.
You're white.
We've got five minutes.
Get on with it.
S.
Ready?
Which S sang the song Baby Love?
Yes.
You like that first again.
The Supremes.
It's the correct answer.
E again.
He's doing all right.
He's got two to the middle.
K. K, please, Bob. And by that, I mean ketamine. E-I-D-F-H-D-O-Y-E-Z-O-T-O-O-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E-N-E- capital of Jamaica? Yeah! Robbie? Kingston.
Is the correct answer.
Yes! We're back in it! We're back in it!
We're tied to spare.
So, we're going to do one more. T, L,
or O?
Spare letter. T.
T. Right, T.
Here we go.
What type of T, no, what T
is a type of dog called a Jack Russell.
Ash Gator.
Feria is the correct answer.
And number one is on the board for...
Give her a round of applause.
One person claps.
One person claps.
The suspense is killing me.
And everyone is silent with suspense.
That's what it is.
B.
B. Right. B.
Right.
God.
We need to get across, otherwise we'd never end in this game.
Got it.
Here we go.
Numbers.
B.
Right.
Letter.
Letter.
B.
What B was number one with Yes Sir, I Can Boogie?
Eli.
Bacara.
It's the correct answer.
Very...
Did you even know that?
Did you even know that?
No.
No, you fucking didn't!
Wait, wait, wait.
Don't rub it in.
Wait, wait, wait.
Before this question, you are one away.
If you get L right, Eli, you've won this game.
Do you remember anyone on Blockbuster's been this much?
No, until the wind-up.
Okay.
So you're going to go with L?
I'll take an L, please, Bob.
And you're going to go with B.
I'm going to go with B.
I'm going to go with B. I'm going to go with B. I'm going to go with B. I'm going to go with B. Right, Eli, you've won this game. Do you remember anyone on Blockbuster's been this much?
No, I don't mind.
Okay.
So you're going to go with L.
I'll take an L please, Bob.
And if you do shit the bed, this is going on forever now, so please get this right.
The losers will be eating beetroot.
Here we go.
Right.
What L is an item in an orchard?
Eli.
Lot.
Is the correct answer. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Oh, right. Don't rub it in. Don't rub it in.
Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
Thank you.
Good game.
And he's in phase.
Oh, dear.
So Eli, you get to spin the wheel.
I honestly don't mind.
I honestly don't mind.
So Ash gets to try what?
Just bring your hand over it.
Oh!
So just find a brown one.
Problem.
He puts a brown one in Throw them. He puts a brown in his mouth.
And it is...
It's chocolate!
Spin it one more time for Roe.
Well that's a good one.
And it is...
Peach or barf.
That's the worst one in the deck.
Oh it's grated.
You can put it in your mouth! Let's have a look. I'll just make sure. Oh, it's grated. You need to look at your mouth, mate.
It's barf.
Yay!
You've got it done, mate!
Like a kipper!
Anyway, thanks for all your evil-plated blockbusters.
Go away!
Yeah!
I have no idea what the sound quality of this show is going to be like based on that.
Do you?
Awful.
So, anyway, that has been Cheap Show from Comic Con.
Thank you, everyone.
If you want to follow us, you can follow us on Twitter at TheCheapShowPod.
Our website is www.thecheapshow.co.uk. All our episodes are up there with extra footage.
I know you do you are gifts
go forth
and enjoy
the rest of
Comic Con
I've been Paul
Gannon
that's Chris
he's our
self-made
goodnight We'll see you next time.