CheapShow - Ep 272: CheapShow TV 2022 Part One

Episode Date: March 11, 2022

Coming Up, This Week on CheapShow TV Sunday: Juicy Jeremy’s Jalopy Jeremy is back to take us on a global tour of soft drinks, usually aided by soda pop obsessed guests. Monday: Inchman V Beanus The debate of the century continues as 2 intellectuals battle it out for mental supremacy. Who will be crowned the victor? Beanus or Inchman? Find out this Monday! Main Feature: Paul and Eli are joined by Mr Biffo (Paul Rose), Octav1ous King and Ethan Lawrence for another manic, raging and ill-thought edition of CheapShow TV. This week, Paul hosts 2 games for our teams to battle over: Pointless: The popular TV show about getting the least known answers. The Generation Game: The iconic show of families and parlour games. Who will win? Who will lose? Who will scream at Paul the loudest for being a lousy game show host? Find out in Part One of CheapShow TV Saturday: Willy Wanka’s Countryphile We’re back on the farm with Willy for more probing questions from everyone’s favourite animal lover! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-272-cheapshow-tv-2022-part-one And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Oh, and you can NOW listen to Urinevision 2021 on Bandcamp... For Free! Enjoy! https://cheapshowpodcast.bandcamp.com/album/urinevision-2021-the-album MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop Www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

And Uncle Grumbly will be back next week with another grisly episode of Eat Shit and Dine. Coming up next, it's another episode of the Cheap Show Board Game Game Show Special with Paul Gannon and Eli Silverman. Give your bath time a lift. Call free on 0800 281 271. For anyone with bathing problems, the totally

portable EasyLift from AquaSooth is the answer. Safe and reliable, simple to operate, elegantly styled. The AquaSooth EasyLift will lower and raise you easily in your bath at the touch of a button. To receive a full color brochure, call AquaSooth now. Completely free on 0800 281 271. 0800 281 271. Our operators are ready now to take your calls. Later this week on Cheap Show TV. On Sunday night we take another

trip on Juicy Jeremy's Jalopy to discover more weird and wonderful sody pops from around the world. Well, that was a great sodie. And now, joining me in the old jallopy to taste my experimental sodipop, this one's called a Lemon Fistbomb.

It's Sasha. Hi, Sasha. You're a nice lady. Why don't you get some of that sodipop down here and you tell me what you think. Well, sugar, I might just do that. Go on, have a good old slurp on that. I'll have a good old slurp on that. Get that sody down you.

Okay, so you've had a bit of the sody pop now. That's the lemon fizz bomb. What do you think of that? I think it's mighty fine, sugar. That's great soda. My, I do feel a little nauseous now. Now don't you worry about that, Sasha. Let's move on. This one's called a Disgusto

Fizz. This Monday evening we return to the TV event of the year as Larry Inchman goes head to head in a battle of wits with the mighty Venus. Good evening. We now return to the live debate

between Larry Inchman and Venus. I like beans. Inch. Inch. I get beans there in a tin. Is the bean tin? Inch, inch, inch. Oh, yeah. I like beans that are like that half inch. Half inch long bean. In tin. Is the bean tin? Inch, inch, inch. Oh, yeah. I like beans that are about half inch. Half inch long bean. Inch! Is the bean? Inch.

Bean. Inch. Is the bee? Inch. Is the bee? Inch. Is the bee? Inch. Is the bean? Inch. Bean. Inch. Is the bee? Inch. Is the bee? Inch.

Is the bean? Inch. Bean. Inch. Is the bee? Inch. Is the bee? Inch. Is the bee? Inch. I like beans. This is my main thing. Can I have my opioids, please? As this rolls into its 25th hour,

we hope you will stay with us for the debate of the century between Larry Inchman and Venus. But now on Cheap Show TV, it's time for the main event. It's bad sportsmanship and arguments are plenty now as Eli and Paul invite some new guests to play the Cheap Show TV Board Game TV Game Show Special. Everybody cheer now. We've got a packed show

for you today. We're going to be playing three classic game shows in board game form, but I'm not on my own. Sadly. I'm not on my own today. I am with four delightful friends who have decided to get involved and have some fun and play

some games today. So, let's go around the room and see who's joining me to play some Wizzo games today. First of all, contestant number one, what's your name and where do you come from? Eli Silverman, London. Hi. And what do you do for a living? I'd like to know, actually. I'm...

Yeah, what do you do? I'm an entertainer. Are you? Yes. What have you entertained? Notions of grandeur. Yeah, you do? Yeah. What do you want to be when you grow up free of you fine all right well best of luck to you everybody hope you have a lot of fun today i don't know it just seems that now he's being very silly he is very silly silly indeed

contestant number two, what's your name and where'd you come from? My name's Ethan Lawrence and I come from Essex. Yay! Yay! And what do you do

for a living, love? I'm an actor. Oh, what have you acted in? I've done the Bad Education, I've done the Afterlife, I've done Doc Martin,

I've done Horrible History. Oh, he's done a lot of stuff. He's done a lot of stuff. He's done a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah. He's done a lot of stuff. He's done a lot of stuff. He's done a lot of stuff. Yeah, yeah. He's done a lot of stuff. He's done a lot of stuff. Thank you, Scylla.

Thank you. Thank you. What do you want to be when you grow up, mate? I'll keep doing the same thing, probably. Just keep plodding along. Keep turning up to this bloody podcast. The pool. Yeah.

Has he got a lovely arm? Lovely arm. Is that how she said it? Has he got a lovely arm? I don't know. A lovely arm. Oh. Oh she said it? And she got a lovely arm. I don't know. A lovely arm. Oh. Oh.

Oh. Yeah. Oh. That's what she got. Lovely arm. I don't like it. Oh. Shut up.

Actually, shut up. Aye. Shut up. I'm going to start doing that. No, don't. Aye. Leave. Just go.

I'm not. I'll be winning. I think I'm going to win one of these. Ce don't. Don't do that. Leave. Just go. I'm not. I'll be winning. I think I'm going to win one of these. Cease and desist. Contestant number three. What's your name? Where do you come from, love? Octavius King.

Oh. Your face. Pardon? Wait. I can't believe this. I don't know. I've just temporarily forgotten where I come from. York, that's it.

York. Sorry. Yes. And you've come from my face. Paul birthed you like this. I don't even make any sense. I come from Scylla's face. Did Scylla birth things out of his face?

I think so. Those are things. If you go really close up on Paul's face, the pores have these sort of embryotic. Oh, yeah. They're gaping. Gaping. Egg sacs.

Egg sacs. Were you birthed from one of his egg sacks? I was, yes. His facial vulva. Fanny paws all over your face. Hasn't he got lovely fanny paws? Poor fanny paws Gannon. That's the worst 80s cartoon.

Fanny Paws Hang out with Teddy Ruxpin Have an adventure And what do you want to be when you grow up love I don't bloody know I was hoping someone would tell me Well good luck anyway Tonight on the game And finally contestant number 4

What's your name and where do you come from I'm Mr Biffo I'm from London What do you want to be when you grow up? You haven't asked me what I am now. Do you even know? What are you then, mate? Soldier. Soldier?

Of fortune or? Yeah. He was in the 80s. He wants to be in the 80s? Yeah. Well, best of luck to you today, sir. I hope you have a lot, a lot, a lot of love. Love you.

Are you satisfied with this interview? I'm not. Really? Oh, really. Never really satisfied. But we've met our contestants.

It's time to play the game. So let us play the first of our Board Game TV Game Show Board Game Shows today.

It is Pointless. Yay! our Board Game TV game show board game shows today to play Pointless. Yay! So who presents Pointless then? Alexander Armstrong. Alexander Armstrong. And Richard Osman. David Koresh.

Lanky Osman. Lanky Osman. Now that would spice it up. That would spice it up considerably. Charles Manson in Dictionary Corner or whatever. Count it down. I'm waiting for your Alexander Armstrong impression. I don't have one. What does he do?

What does he sound like like he's got quite a fruity accent well posh isn't it he's very posh well spoken well spoken Paul it might be a struggle

for you yes I am Alexander Armstrong oh my god and welcome to Pointless why is he 86 why is he why is he Uncle Grumbling

stop can't do many voices can I I can't do it no you really can't I am Alexander Armstrong Why is he 86? Why is he Uncle Grumbling? Stop. Can't do many voices, can I? I can't do it. No, you really can't. I am Alexander Armstrong. I'll just do it as Scylla. Just do Scylla. This is too much.

And I time Alexander Armstrong. Yeah, there we go. What's it like? Richard Osmond. It's great, this, isn't it? Et cetera. I don't know. Alexander.

Have you read his novel? Richard Osmond's novel. What's it called? It's called Urgh Urgh Comfy crime story Set in a fucking

Old person's home Urgh It is It's cosy crime Cosy crime It's a big genre It's cosy crime Pisses me off

It's called Thursday Murder Club Available from all your Local bookshops Is it good? Have you read it? I haven't read it I can tell it's shit

Why do you want my opinion On a book you've not read And I probably won't read it. I can tell it's shit. Why do you want my opinion on a book you've not read and I probably won't read? I'm just trying to make this show go along, Paul, because if... By asking me about the works of Richard Osman's literary career... I don't think you've noticed it's not going very well so far. Okay.

Excuse me. I know what anybody else thinks, but it isn't really, is it? You know what? Ethan, I feel sorry for you, because you're going to be on the losing team in this first game now, I've decided, because... Oh, you're rigging it? Yeah.

Well, it's good to get that out early, I suppose. I'm only saying that up front because I like you so much. Oh, is this a team game, is it? This will be in teams. Well, actually, throughout the whole of this show, there's going to be two teams. And it'll be team, I don't know what, Octavius and... Bif-tavius? What?

It sounds like some sort of virus. Bif-tavius? What? It sounds like some sort of virus. Bif-tavius 19. Is that what you want to call yourself? No, it's entirely up to Octavius. What about Octifo? Octifo. It's even worse. The Biff King.

The Biff King. Yeah, the Biff King. You used to own Ray Raymond's Review Bar, didn't he? I think our team should be called Ethai Lawrence Man. Are you happy with this?

I'm more than happy. Ethai Lawrence Man. No, Ethai. Ethai Lawrence Man. Paul. Fucking idiots. Ethai. Ethai Gum.

Ethai Gum. You're now called Ethai Gum. Right. Have you got a name yet? Used to? Let let's go with the what was it b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b b to start behaving? I'm going to start crawling back into the vagina. I'm just going to get right back in there. I'm going to leave you to it. What's his name? David Cronenberg-esque, isn't it? That's really... Can we stop talking about my face hole? Surprise, surprise!

Vagina pause right before your eyes. I'm birthing Paul out my face hole. Come on, mate. I hate you sometimes. I genuinely do.

Stop the show. You've been very mean. I've read the other... My heart is very, very fragile. Okay. And you break my heart many times. I'm sorry. You don't even know how deep you cut sometimes.

I'm sorry. And I cry. I've actually read the Thursday Murder Club. Is that a modern song? Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's quite charming. I find it quite charming. It's an easy that a mob song? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's quite charming. I find it quite charming.

It's an easy read, you know? Yeah, I know. I just find it so cynical. Thursday Murder Club. Oh. I find it so cynical. Are you ready to move on now? Yeah, I'm ready to move on

to Thursday Burger Club. After your little break down. Thursday Burger Club. Yeah, Thursday Burger Club. Oh, I wanted to ask you, Biffo. Oh, yeah. You like McDonald's sometimes. Yeah.

Have you had the chicken Big Mac? I have, actually. Yeah. I had it last week, so it's very timely. What did you think? I thought it was poor. Yeah. It doesn't work, does it?

And also, because of the coating, it slips out. Yeah. Not well-constructed. It's not well-constructed. It's a gimmick. It's a gimmick. It doesn't work. It doesn't work.

Welcome to Pointless. It's the quiz where you've got to know the most pointless... You don't understand, right? Can we get something out of the way? Yeah, go on. Paul, when we've been planning this show, you've struggled with the whole concept of Pointless as a game show. Admit it.

I'm just going to drink water to mentally distract myself from this, whatever this ends up being. Admit that you have struggled to actually understand what Pointless is why don't you tell me pointless is a game show paul that we're about to play a board game version of yeah where you are trying to find the most obscure correct answer to a question that's basically the the the dynamic so yes and the overall game is to be the person with the least points to get through to the next round. So, similar to Family Feud, or Family Fortune as it's known in this country, it's based on surveys they do.

Is it? With people. They ask 100 people to name things. It's like the opposite of Family Fortune. Instead of getting the most popular answer, you're trying to get the least. Yes. Yeah. Why are you two explaining to the man who's running the game how to play it?

He doesn't understand it. I just know the paper in front of me and what the rules say and how you play it. Oh, God. Regardez the rules. Round one. A number of questions asked in round one is two to eight. Oh, you get two each. I'm going to ask you one question each throughout this.

Right? So you'll get a question each. It's very exciting. And I've picked questions out I'm going to ask you one question each throughout this, right? So you'll get a neat question each. It's very exciting. And I've picked questions out in advance that I thought you might have a crack at

unless you know the history of like Israeli prime ministers. Anyone? Benjamin Netanyahu. I don't think that's going to be a pointless score though, is it?

Because if everyone got it, it looks like that's the one. Shimon. Michael Jackson. Who's he? Israeli prime minister. Shimon there was one called Shimon though come on wasn't there

are we doing Israeli presidents or what Shimon the motherfucker goodbye everyone who's going first I'm laughing at this I like this

I'll tell you what I've got coin side A is heads and and side, team. Oh, shit. What? What the hell is going on? All you have to do is toss a coin. Heads is team A.

Is that a real coin? It's not a real coin. It's a 10-pence piece. Of course it's real. Well, then it's got heads and tails. It hasn't got A or B. No, I know. I'm getting confused.

I'm getting confused. You're upsetting me. You're upsetting me, Tommy. Side A or side B? Of a coin. It's like the man who fell to earth here, isn't it? Do you call A or B? Right, so heads is team Team A Tails is Team B

Use our team names No, no, no We made us do team names Okay Octavius hates our team names Heads Bif-tavius Is Bif-tavius' heads

That's so shit Tails, yes it is Come on A bit of loyalty And a bit of unity And tails is Ethigum Ethigum Here we go It is heads So do you want to take the first question and a bit of unity. And tails is e-thigh gum.

Here we go. It is heads. So do you want to take the first question or do you want them to go first? Is that side A then? Yeah, heads. We don't care. You don't care. Haven't they looked lovely?

Yeah, you want to go first yeah alright okay cool so here's a quick thing so I'm going to ask this is just for you this question

just for you you get the next one but just for you just for you this is the first one your side B okay right so

name the character's superhero alter ego I'm going to read out six wait so I've got to come up with the least well known I'm going to read out six... I've got to come up with the least well-known. I'm going to read out five alter egos, and I want you to pick the one you think was the least chosen during the survey Eli previously brought up

to explain the rules of the game. Wow. It was a pretty good description. Right, so here are your options. You have Billy Batson, Bruce Banner, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent,

or James Howlett. So which one of those is the most pointless answer, I guess? Well, I know who they all are. Yeah, do you? I don't know the first and the last. Billy Batson is Captain Marvel, or Shazam, depending on whether you...

The DC one. DC one. Howlett the Green Lantern? No, that's Wolverine. Aren't you glad you didn't get this question? That's Wolverine's... I didn't know he had a...

I thought he was Logan. Logan... No, no. Logan, he's... It's a long story. It is. I don't have time for it. Logan was the name...

He took the name of a bloke that he knew when he was a kid. He was called Logan. Oh, God. Well, that's not... Which one? Which one's the He took the name of a bloke that he knew when he was a kid. It was called Logan. Which one's the most least popular answer? We've got Billy Batson, Bruce Banner, Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent and James Howlett.

It's obviously between Batson and Howlett. Yeah. Which one do you want to go for? Which one do you want to go for? Wolverine's a more popular character, better known. But do they know that alter ego thing? Exactly. I'm going to say Wolverine.

Wolverine. Howlett. Howlett. So Howlett. Howlett at the moon. Right. The score for that was... I'll read them out, actually. Billy Batson was a pointless answer.

Oh, fucking hell. You would have got that. But Bruce Banner was the Hulk. That was 61. Bruce Wayne's Batman, 73.. You would have got that. But Bruce Banner was the Hulk. That was 61. Bruce Wayne's Batman, 73. Clark Kent, Superman, 90.

James Howlett, Wolverine, one. Why is Peter Parker left off this? I don't know. I don't know. It's unfair on

Spider-Man, isn't it? I'll ask the quiz ombudsman about the lack of Spider-Man. I will be phoning the ombudsman. Get the ombudsman on the line.

Is he a superhero as well? Right, Eli. He just bumbles. That's his power. Eli, your question, your round is on famous children and their famous papas. Okay. So, what are the famous fathers of these famous children? Okay.

Angelina Jolie, Emilio Estevez, Jamie Lee Curtis, Lily Allen, Lucy Davis. are the famous fathers of these famous children. Okay. Angelina Jolie, Emilio Estevez, Jamie Lee Curtis, Lily Allen, Lucy Davis. Which one of those is the pointless answer? It's the one I don't know, isn't it? Potentially. That's usually how quizzes work. Lily Davis. Lily Allen.

I'll read them again. Angelina Jolie, Emilio Estevez, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Lily Allen. And Lucy Davis. I'm not doing it again. Angelina Jolie, Emilia Estevez, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Lee Allen, Lily Allen, and Lucy Davis. I'm not doing it again. Lucy Davis. That's the one.

I bet that's the pointless one, but I don't know who her dad is. I do. I do. Even though I just looked, but I did know. I thought everyone knew. No, we're not passing it.

It doesn't work like that. Do I score? Do I have to get the pointless one? No, you just get, you got to get as low as you can. If you't know the point just go for the lowest one you think yeah that i know so and let me just see if i got this in my head angelina jolie is just answer a question is john voight angelina jolie is john voight martin no she's john daughter of john voight she isn't john voight is she

she's not an amalgam beast creature of the two. Amalgam? Yeah. Come on, mate. Don't try and pull people off when they talk. This is outrageous, Paul. He's a trained actor, yeah? No, what's truly outrageous is...

He's not a trained actor. No, I learnt on the streets. Street acting. You can either answer the question or I'm going to forfeit because I'm bored of you. I am going to answer the question. Just give me a chance. Sorry.

Jon Voight. Quick aside. Read them out against me. Ethan, you were on Pointless recently. It's not been broadcast yet and no spoilers, but did you put up with this shit happen?

Would this shit happen on Pointless? It would be trimmed out in the edit. Yeah. I'm going to trim this out in the edit. Jon Voight. What was the next one? Right. It was Angelina Jolie

Emilia Weston Jamie Lee Curtis Lily Allen and Lucy Davis Jamie Curtis I will say there is no pointless answer this time around

so if that helps you pick quickly oh it's that guy I can't even think of Jamie Lee Curtis his dad it's that guy Tony Curtis

I think that's probably going to be the least known I'll go for Tony Curtis so you're that's probably going to be the least known. I'll go for Tony Curtis. So you're going to go with Jamie Lee Curtis as your answer? I'll go for that one. Okay, Lee Curtis. And so here we go.

From top to bottom, Angelina Jolie, Jon Voight, you were right on that. That was 21. Emilio Estevez, Martin Sheen, that was worth 23. Jamie Lee Curtis, you said that one. The That was worth 23 Jamie Lee Curtis You said that one The answer was obviously Tony Curtis 48 Oh fuck off

For that one So they're bought Just to round them all off Lily Allen was the daughter Of Keith Allen 25 Lucy Davis She's the daughter of

Jasper Carrot Jasper Carrot And that's the lowest 10 Yeah So 48 points there. We're going now over back to Team Bifftavious. It's going very well.

Are you excited? Here we are. This is the one I've got for you. Put it in me little slot. Hit. All right, calm down. This is on the Muppets. Do you know the Muppets well?

No. Oh, dear. Right. Five. We can't confer. No. Okay, so you are looking for, the answers to these will be five clues to facts about the Muppets. So I'm going to read you five clues and the answer is the least known fact, if that makes sense. Okay, so one, actor who played Ebenezer Scrooge in the Muppets Christmas Carol.

Number two, the creator of The Muppets. Number three, directed the 2011 film The Muppets. Number four, Kermit the Frog's nephew, who sings Halfway Down the Stairs. And finally, Muppet, who famously flirted with Michael Parkinson in 1978. So which one of those clues is going to have the answer that people got the least? The one about the film, probably.

Oh, the director of the 2011 film? Yeah, I mean, all the rest of them are really obvious, aren't they? I mean, Miss Piggy's a bit of a slag, so she must be the one playing. Yeah, a little bit. She's just a confident modern woman. Hey-ya! Karate chop, TV celebrities. confident modern woman hey ya karate chops she's here today

TV celebrities that's that I'll get angry though if it does that that would be a meeting I'd love to see a crossover emphasis on the meat yeah very good

yeah meat meaty crossover what was I talking about do a character called meaty crossover go on go on meaty crossover hello meaty There's a character called Meaty Crossover. Go on. Go on. I am Meaty Crossover.

Hello, Meaty. What's your profession? I combine meat. You're a good meat buyer. No, that's not. Did you say buy meat or combine meat? Combine meat. Oh, you combine meat.

Like what? I put bacon. Spam. That's a combined meat, isn't it? Bacon with chicken. What's bacon chicken called? Chicken. Chicken. Chicken.

So, do you want to stick with the 2011 one? Yeah, yeah. Are we going through them again? Beef tongue. All right. Okay. That's the one you're sticking with. In that case, here we go.

Point of order. Yeah. Go give the answer. Huh? Go give the actual answer, haven't you? No, not yet. Huh? Not yet.

Huh? What? Huh? You have to get the answer right. Do you have to get the yeah what yeah we've all you have to get the answer right oh do you have to get the answer as well of course you have to get the fucking answer I didn't know you had to get the answer as well didn't I say I had to pick the question didn't I say he has no he has no he can't actually say if there's no you just I just think well I just thought you just guessed

whatever you thought would be the question that had the least well well that. No, you also have to list that, isn't it? Well, that means you have to tell me now who the director of that film is. And if you don't know, you've got to pick another question. I had to do my question. This is bullshit. It's a quiz. You're moving the goalposts around, you fucker. I'm not there moving the goalposts. We're in the same place.

Paul's moving the goalposts. No, we're not. We may have a worse team name, but at least we're not Bellies. We're not what? I didn't come here to make friends. I came here to win. I would have gone Lucy Davis. I would have said Lucy Davis,

even though I didn't know who her dad was. Did you recall, Paul? I didn't know who her dad was. No, she doesn't know. I saw Confero. I saw Confero. No, I wasn't. You saw shit! Paul!

Paul! He's such a liar! Don't worry. He's such a liar. We've got the moral high ground. We've got the moral high ground. We're actually at the moral high ground, aren't we? Jesus.

You know, I thought bringing a ringer in would help this episode. It actually is going to be completely opposite. It's getting heated in here, man. So you have to give me an answer to the question that you have to put forward. Right. And hope that it's a low scoring answer. James Boglin?

Bogart Boglin. James Bogart Boglin? What are you talking about? James Boglin! I love it! you talking about? James Boglin. I love it. He's got a very strong accent. Oh, the director of the Muppet film is called James what? Boglin Bogart. No, no.

It's just a big cheat anyway. They're cheating. What does that mean? You know what? I'll tell you what. I'm going to give them this now, but that means you're going to give me later in the show. We don't need one like a joker. We don't need to cheat.

We didn't cheat. I thought you confirmed it. We were catching up. Was that a pointless answer? We were catching up. I'm being gaslit. I'm being gaslit. Hey, everyone.

It's all about the game. The love of the game. Hey, everyone. Shut up, you fucking bellends. Right, here we go. So you picked James Bobbin as the director of the 2011 film the muppets yeah right here we go so ebony's a scrooge was played by michael kane that would have got you 24 points director uh the creative muppets was 49 for jim henson director of the muppet film in 2011 was

james bobbin which you got spot on that was three points wow wow wow nephew was robin the frog that would have got you 13. Robin the Frog. And the woman who flirted with Parkinson was Miss Piggy, and that would have been 92. Robin, you know what? Robin the Frog, Kermit's nephew, is a fucking annoying little shit. I mean, you were straight in there with the strong opinions of it.

That's such an arse licker. I'm halfway up the stairs. Shut up. That was all he ever did wasn't it final question now for go all the way up or come down

final question for Mr Ethan are you ready for the final question yeah I'm ready here we go the topic is famous people

and their catch phrases oh alright hopefully this is going to be a lot of fun right here we go I'm going to read out five catchphrases, and you have to see which the person who said them was.

Here we go. I'll even do impressions if you want, if it helps. Shall I? Why not? Why not? Let's make it fun. Yeah. First one.

Hello. Good evening. And welcome. That's the first one. Okay. Second one. It's the way I tell them. What? Three. Second one. It's the way I tell them. What?

Number three. Nice to see you. Nice to see you. Nice. Number four. Number four. There'll be time later to do Brucie. Number four.

Oh, I could crush a grape. Or number five. Oh, shut that door. I thought there was a door. Oh, there's a door. Oh, there's a door. Oh, there's a door. Oh, there's a door.

Oh, there's a door. Oh, there's a door. Oh, there's a door. Oh, there's a door. Oh, there's a door. Oh, there's Number four. Ooh, I could crush a grape. Or number five. Ooh, shut that door. I thought they were the same person. I'll tell you what. Why don't we clear out the cheating stuff early?

Why don't you tell me what the lowest one is, and we'll do that one. All right, the lowest one is nice to see you to see you nice. That's the lowest one, is it? Yeah, I think you should go with that one. Yeah, right. You said we get a buy, and we get a buy.

Yeah, I didn't say it would be a good one. What's going on? What cheating? Also, you said you didn't want one. Yeah, well, I've changed my mind. Well, it doesn't matter now. What's this? This is bullshit.

Don't you worry. It's not going well for him. That's true, actually. Ethan Bruce Forsyth. I think I'm being stitched up here. This is a stitch up. Yeah, it's not that. That isn't the lowest score.

Which one of these cat traders? I'll go for the lowest one. Yeah, well, which one's that? It doesn't matter. Just tell me what it is. No, I'm not going to. I'm allowed to buy. I'm allowed to buy.

You can give me an answer if you don't know the answer, and I'll accept that. That's a fair trade-off. I'm not going to tell you the answer because I didn't tell. Can we have them one more time, please, Paul, without the excruciating impressions? I'll tell you what. We'll confirm if you're a liar what we'll confirm if you're a liar

we'll confirm if you're a liar let's go for Bruce Forsythe shall we let's see if that one's the lowest and then we'll confirm your team's losing this this is a conspiracy your team's losing this

yeah right here we go here we go so you picked Bruce Forsythe did you yeah alright good yeah it's the lowest one apparently

let's hear it I'm going to give you one last chance now to change your answer. No, no, we're good, mate. You carry on. Carry on. You're going to change the answer. No, carry on, mate.

You're good. All right. Okay, in that case, hello, good evening, and welcome was said by, does anyone know? Say that again. Hello, good evening, and welcome. As well by David Frost. David Frost was correct. That was 26.

It's the way I tell them. Jimmy Cricket. No. Jimmy. It's not a Jimmy. Isn't that Jimmy Cricket? It's the way I tell them. Jimmy Cricket. No. Jimmy. It's not a Jimmy. Isn't that Jimmy Cricket? It's not. He was.

Come here, there's more. Jimmy Cricket. But it's the way I tell them. It's not Jimmy Cricket. Jimmy Cricket. It's come here, there's more. Paul. It's the way I tell them.

Jimmy Cricket. It's the way I tell them. What's his name? Frank Carson. Frank Carson. It's the way I tell them. That one. Nice to see? Frank Carson. Frank Carson. It's the way I tell him. That one. Nice to see you.

Nice to see you. Nice. Was Bruce Forsythe. 89. Oh, my God. Was it the lowest? Whoa. And then who I should push a grape was?

Larry Grayson. Stu Francis. It's not. Larry Grayson did not say it. I've got no idea. Stu Francis. Stu Francis. Larry Grayson said, shut that door.

So, unfortunately, at the end of that, you've got 89. francis larry grayson grayson said shut that door yeah so unfortunately unfortunately because there is 89 an industrial level of cheating guys this is rife i don't know what you're talking about you made a error it's a stuffed ballot is what this is you made the big stinker around um uh Team Bifftavius has 4 and Team Ethigum has 80 90, 130 139 147 points 147 points All very well and good isn't it?

As we go on to the exciting round 2 on to the exciting round two. What's that from? Strike it Lucky. Strike it Lucky. It's the best interstitial music of all game shows. It is.

Why is a hot spot not? A not spot. What is the answer to that? I don't know. A good spot. Is that what they say? I believe so. It's not his best catchphrase

is it what is a hot spot not what is a hot spot not you litigated this on the last TV show as well

did I yeah we did I was on that we did it was two years ago no one remembers I do I'm a cheap show historian

round two I'm going to read out a question from the front of the card to all the players or the teams at once so that means you're working together now

on this one you're working you're conferring we've got buzzers no you don't need buzzers for it it's alright can we just do a buzz noise the question will read out

all the answers zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Do you like our buzzer noises, Paul? Do you? Do you? No. Do you want to hear our buzzer noises? I went to a different place in my head then. Right, so that's right. Is it our team first?

Right. Yes, it is this time, yes. So round two. Right, so I'm going to basically ask you the question. It's going to be the same question for you both, but there are two different answers. I'll ask this time. Yes. So round two, right? So I'm gonna basically ask you the question It's gonna be the same question for you both, but there are two different answers I'll ask you first and then give you a score and then I'm gonna ask you the second batch of answers Do you need to lie down? I just nearly twatted myself with the microphone.

I saw my life flash before my eye. It wasn't very fun. A haunting experience for you. I'm glad it could happen here today. Right, so here is your question for Team Eli Thumb. Gum, up your bum. E-fi gum. It's easy enough to remember. It's's not though uh when you've got a brain like mine right here we go i'm gonna ask one question there are two sets of answers eli

gets to pick from the first set right here we go little britain is your topic oh fuck you know any actor who is credited in seven or more episodes of little britain is that it yeah i don't have to get anything right no he's got to guess which one of these names was the least answered for this question. Oh, yes. Okay. Right, so these appeared in seven or more episodes of Little Britain. Is that right? I don't know. Is that right?

Yeah. Where's the quiz element? You've got to still guess which one was the least known actor from this list. Wait, are there some in there that won? Yeah. No. Okay, well, this is a shit game. I don't know.

Eli. Shitless. So I just pick which name I think is the most least. Yeah, because you might recognise more names over another. So, like, I'll read it out. Okay. Anthony Head. Uh-huh.

Did he? Uh-huh. David Walliams. Ruth Jones. Sally Rogers. Stephen Aintree, David Tennant. Which one of those do you think was the least known when asked? Say them again.

One time. Just one time. Anthony Head, David Walliams, Ruth Jones, Sally Rogers, Stephen Aintree, David Tennant. Ruth Jones. She's worth 18. Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. All right. You got 18 for that then. In this second board, there are, ding, ding, ding. All right, you've got 18 for that then.

In this second board, there are wrong answers. Oh, great. All right. That's fun. So you've got James Corden, Matthew Horne, Steve Bentham, Steve First, Sterling Gallagher, Tom Baker, or Lindsay Duncan. Go for Steve Bentham. Steve Bentham is a pointless answer.

Nice one. You owe me 250 quid. Do I? Yeah. In real life. That's how it works in the show. They add 250 quid to the jackpot. You're never seeing it.

Why did I come here? Right. Good answer. Your topic is the films of Sylvester Stallone. Sylvester. Is he? Is he Sylvester? I heard helvester? Is he Sylvester? Sylvester?

Is he like a robot action hero? Sylvester Stallone. No, he's a mime. Mr Biffo, I'm going to read out seven Rocky films seven Sylvester Stallone films and I need you to tell me which you think is obviously the least known of those are there any wrong ones

there are in this one there are no wrong ones there are a few wrong ones in this one here we go I did you a solid because you might have gone

for an excuse so ones that you shouldn't pick because they is not in you get no points well no you get 100 points don't you if you get the wrong answer?

Yeah. My God, your grasp on pointless is honestly dumbfounding. It's eye-watering. It makes it fun. Right, here's your films. Rocky II, Rocky IV, Rhinestone, Demolition Man, Rocky Balboa. Slow down. I'll start from the top.

Slow down. Rocky II. Not that slow. Rocky IV. It's a happy 2. Not that slow. Rocky 4. It's a happy medium. Like Derek Okora. Rocky 2. Rocky 4.

Rhinestone. Demolition Man. Rocky Balboa. Tango in Cash. Escape to Victory. Can you avoid the wrong answers and give me the pointless? I'm going to say the pointless one, Escape to Victory, which he was definitely in. Escape to Victory is a pointless answer.

Yeah, well done. Well done there. A lot of people forget he was in that. Yeah, a small bit. And he did that without cheating as well, which is very impressive.

I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, I bet you don't, mate. Are you ready, Octavius? Here we go. Keep an eye on Biffo. I'm going to read out the same number,

seven more. Here we go. First Blood, Lock Up, Daylight, Paradise Alley, Nighthawks Over the Top or Cobra I literally have none of these questions are anything

that I would ever be able to answer Have you got any questions that are about clinical depression and being very lonely Let me have a look You're here with us now I've got things that happened in Eli Silverman's life. Oh, shut up. Oh, right.

I get it. I get it. I get it. Like, I'm never fucking lonely. For fuck's sake. Which one of those do you think is the least known? I mean, think about it. Think about what's the least known of these that you know of.

I'm just going to have a little bit of water. Do you not fucking know the answer? No, don't cheat. I wasn't actually really listening. Don't cheat. If you cheat, I'll dock your points or add points. I'm not quite sure how it works. Add dock points.

Octavius would like you to read them out again. All right. Remember, there are wrong answers here as well. Yes. Right, so First Blood, Lock Up, Daylight, Paradise Alley, Nighthawks, Over the Top or Cobra. Right, yeah. You're the coughing major. What the fuck is this?

I've got a movie. I can't say. It was... I completely forgot. Who was it? Daylight? Maybe. Daylight. You say daylight.

It is a wrong answer. So 100 points to you. Wait a minute. Yeah. There are certain ones on here that you shouldn't answer. He was in daylight. He was in daylight, but it was such a well-known answer. It's a wrong answer.

You should have gone with over the top. The wrong answers are ones that he wasn't in. No, but they put some wrong ones in, which are the ones you just don't... Now, how is it wrong? How is it wrong

if it's the fucking question? It's not a wrong answer if he's in it. It's almost like you pulled these instructions out of your face, Vagina. This is what it says. You did, didn't you?

There are questions where you don't... They're all in there. Just pulling them all out. Paul, what is the question? Read the top of the card for me. Feature films are still Sylvester Stallone. He's in all of them. You've got to know the least popular one.

But you told me some of the ones that he hadn't done. No, I didn't. I said just the wrong answers. How is it wrong? It's not wrong. They're just questions that I presume they don't give you... I've never seen you. Why is there a cross on it then?

You tell me. Can I see the cross? You tell me! Can I see the cross? What the shit is going on? Let me have a look at this. Oh, it's a Katy Perry question. Is this literally what it was like when you went on the show?

No, it's much cleaner. Here we go. Here is the detail. Here is the little detail. If you just take a second to consider your environment and fucking read things properly, any feature film starring Sylvester Stallone released in the 1980s, Daylight must have been.

I did say that, though. No, you did not. I did say that. I did say that, though. Roll the tape. We all know Daylight was in the 90s. Anyway, the point still stands And at the end of that round

No it doesn't Are you cheating on one And now you We would have totally Got that one That's our gimme That's our gimme Everything is right in the world

Don't you worry That's your gimmick Gimme I say Your gimmick is We're very optimistic My gimmick is Not cheating Gimme gimme gimme

A man after daylight. At the end of that round, the scores are Biff Tavius, 104 points, and Ethai Gum, 155 points. They're catchable. Round three is head-to-head. Right. The question is asked to all players

All the players answer in order of lowest Right so that's side A to side A What the fuck is going on with you In this round players or teams Ask to provide one answer to each question Conferring is not allowed Players must always write down Once all the players or teams

Have given a single answer the question master Will pull the card out and give Players or teams the scores in the last hour i feel like i've aged about 10 years horrible day we thought we thought a couple of weeks ago was the darkest day so i read a question right and then what i get answers from you each, and then we see... I don't know, Paul. Are you asking us? I don't know. You're actually asking us what you were meant to do.

Do you want me to read it? Should I sort this out? I can sort it out. I'm going to ask a question to all of you. Okay. The team behind, which is you, get the first chance to pick a question, right? Yes. And then they get a chance to pick a question with what's left.

An answer, you mean, rather than the opposite words. So here's the question for everyone. Because they're behind, they get to pick the first go at it and then you get to pick what's left. As a team. As a team, so you can confer. Right, here we go. Round three, head-to-head, is Wallace and Gromit

films. So, Eli, Ethan, you're going first. Are you familiar with these, Ethan? A couple. We'll see what happens. Here's what you're looking for. Any film which stars the animated characters Wallace and Gromit up to the end of 2010. This

includes short films and made for television shorts. Here are your answers. A Grand Day Out, A Close Shave. A close shave. A matter of loaf and death. The curse of the weir rabbit. And the wrong trousers.

So, you're going to pick one of those. It's not the wrong trousers are very famous, isn't it? Of those, I'd go for loaf and death. The wrong trousers are very famous. One of those is very famous. I'd agree. It's got to pick. We're ready to pick our answer. Which one are you going to pick?

Loaf of Death. Matter of Loaf and Death. Right, I'll put that down. Loaf, which gives you these four left. Right, ready? You have Grand Day Out, Close Shave, We're a Rabbit, Wrong Trousers. Which one do you want to pick for those? That was their first one.

More cheese, Gromit. Which of those have you heard of? All of them. What's he doing there? Does that with his hands? Is he wanking two

guys off? Yes, he's wanking two guys off into his face. Yeah, into his face vagina. Is that how you get your face pregnant? No, it's not how I

inseminate my face. Is that how Sheila gets her face pregnant? See, you're offended but you started this. I know. Which one are you going to go for?

I don't. I can't remember what I worked for. One last time. A grand day out, a close shave, wee a rabbit, wrong trousers.

Well, when was the wee a rabbit one? That was like... Well, okay, that one. That was... But wasn't that like 2012 or something?

I don't know. I mean, I've kind of been a shut-in for the last 10 years so I don't even know. Go on. Grand day out, close shave, wee a rabbit, trousers. Give me an answer now even know go on grand day out close shave we're rabbit trousers give me an answer now we're going grand day out grand day out okay day out so what did you lot go for

a matter of loafing death so uh a grand day out watson gromit that would have got could we have gone for the same one as him no there's no's no game then, otherwise. No, there's no game then. Right, so Wallace and Gromit Granday out would have gotten you seven points. Seventeen points, sorry. Seventeen points. A close shave. Twelve points. A matter of loaf and death, which is what you said, is just four points.

Oh, for God's sake. Lowest one in the game. The Were-Rabbit would have got you 30. Wrong Trousers was 53. So, Grand Day Out got you 17, which isn't that bad. It's not that bad. It was the one right in the middle. The

highest rated one was the Wrong Trousers with 53. I think Were-Rabbit was the feature film, wasn't it? Yeah. Right. Next one. Oh, I'll tell with 53. I think Were-Rabbit was the feature film, wasn't it? Yeah. Right, next one. Oh, I'll tell you what, I'll give you an option,

right, on vote, so you can vote. Which one do you want? Do you want Friends characters or South Park characters? Hands up for Friends. Hands up for South Park. Great, don't put your hands up.

Is there any other option? Yeah, in that case, I'm going to give you The Fast Show. Any actor who is credited in seven or more episodes of the fast show your team is still behind

so you get to go first okay yeah suits you sir does my bum look big in this brilliant like in the show yeah

this is just like nice which was nice so funny yeah do you want to do a capphrase from Fast Show? God. Fast Show.

By the way, I think my stomach just rumbled in case there's some kind of controversy. It wasn't a fart. Is that from the Fast Show? In case there's some kind of controversy. The Arse Show, more like. Ha ha, I'm dying for it. Really?

Are you okay? No, we know I'm not. Fast Show, I'm going to read out a bunch of names. I need you to think which was the least known of these names. Right, so Fast Show actors who appeared in seven or more episodes. Annabella Weir, Carolina Hearn, Charlie Higson, Colin McFarlane, Donna Ewan, Errol Maynard, Mark Williams, Nick Holder, Paul Shearer,

Paul Whitehouse, Philip Pope. And there are a number of pointless answers here. You can consider it. Whitehouse is going to be the obvious one. Yeah, it's not going to be Whitehouse or Hearn. Or Higson, I don't know. Or was Higson even in it?

Did he just write it? No, he was in it. Oh, no, yeah, yeah. He was in it. He was the painter. I'm sort of leaning towards Colin McFarlane. Yeah, but what was that other guy? Can we have the list one more time yeah one more time annabella weir carolina hearn charlie hickson colin mcfarlane donna ewan errol maynard mark williams hold our holder paul

shearer paul whitehouse philip pope i i think i'm willing to go with you on this one Let's go for Errol Maynard Errol Maynard I'll put Maynard Okay good Same list for you So Fascio characters who have appeared in 7 or more episodes There are a few pointless answers But here are the list Annabella Weir, Carolina Hearn, Charlie Higson Colin McFarlane, Donna Ewan

Errol Maynard Mark Williams, Nick Holder, Paul Shearer, Paul Whitehouse, Philip Pope. Give us a name. I'm going to go for Ewing or Shearer. I haven't heard of them. Either or. Whatever.

Which one? Ewing. Well, Donna Ewing. Donna Ewing. Yeah. Donna Ewing or which one did you say? Shearer Paul Shearer

You've got to pick one Shearer Shearer or Ewan The lad Shearer Alright, okay, here we go Here are, because this is a long list

I'll just read out your answers So, you guys picked What Here are, because this is a long list, I'll just read out your answers. So you guys picked, what was it? Sorry again. Errol Maynard. Errol Maynard. And Errol Maynard is a pointless answer. Well done, Eli. Thank you.

Well done. There's several, so we might get it as well. Paul Shearer. I'll say well done if you get that. You said Paul Shearer. Paul Shearer is unfortunately also a pointless answer. Well done. Well done, guys.

Come on. Well done. No gloating. Now, here we go. They're dancing. They're exercising. Monkey yoga. I like it.

It feels therapeutic. It's good for the voice, isn't it? Just like a real pointless poll. It's how I remember it. So at the end of that round, Bif Tavius has 108 points and Ethai Gum has 172.

Oh dear. They did very well in that matter of loaf and death. Did very well, didn't they? We're on to the final round. Thank God. Round four, the end game. One question is asked. It's very exciting, isn't it? Yes.

This round... If two teams yes, the question master asks the question i'm having real trouble speaking that was physically difficult to hear i'm editing that out we're all right i'm believing god master asks the players a question the difference in this round is that the player or team who has accumulated the most points goes first and gives three answers. The team who has accumulated

the second most gives two answers. Alright, then I reveal the scores to each player or team and the answer is given. And then the one

with the lowest over those accumulative scores gets the most. Right, so the catch-up mechanic is that we get to pick more answers and we get the lowest one.

So here we go. So we pick three and we take the lowest. You pick two and you take the lowest that's the catch up so out of those no you picked no you picked two no they picked three because they're behind we're currently losing so we've got this is the the manufactured yeah catch-up mechanic so we keep saying catch-up mechanics I'm going to keep saying catch-up mechanic. Catch-up mechanic. That's a character, Paul. Be the catch-up mechanic.

Hey, I'll do it. I'll do it. Hey, hey, wait, wait. I need to fix your car. I need to fix your car. Wait. No, come on, slow down a bit. That actually might be your magnum opus.

With peaks. I'm going to give you a bunch of topics for this last game, alright? So do you want to play a game on Disney films, BAFTA-nominated animated films, Hanna-Barbera cartoons, or James Elroy novels? My Disney's alright. Shall we go for Disney?

Do we get to pick? I'm offering it to all of you now. Do we both? I know James Elroy. It's only one question. Which of those four would you all like to have a crack at pick one of these to be the question

we might not agree with it how are we meant to come to this conclusion we flip two coins if it's side A flick a four sided coin we flip coin A and coin B but we both have an A and B side It's like a round robin

So whichever one wins Then we put the coins on Then that goes in And then you put the coins on to Paul Smith And then his mouth Then we fill out a form in triplicate And then we submit that Okay so

I'm just going to pick a topic The topic is Yeah you're the games master Take fucking control Don't pick that author one We're going to do James Ellroy novel No we're not We're going to pick a topic. The topic is... Yeah, you're the games master. Take a fucking control. Don't pick that author one. We're going to do James Ellroy novel. No, don't. We're going to do

Hanna-Barbera cartoon characters. It's enough to know that... It's one of those topics that you kind of know a little bit about but not enough to be authoritative. I've got an obscure one in my head. Because we had a VHS of it. What, this game?

No. You've got to put it on the VHS to put the VHS on to record Pointless. Can we watch Pointless, mum? Can we watch Pointless, mummy? Can we watch it? Our bloody VHS. Hey, why don't I reprise my role as the catch-up mechanic, as if it was a Hanna-Barber.

Oh, I'd like to... Oh, I'd really like to fix your car. Wait for me. Where are you going? Wait for me. Is that the start of a porn? It is. I've got a ratchet.

I'm going to... Get right in there. Shut up. Here we go. So, Hanna-Barbera cartoon characters. Don't yell. Names of animated characters from Hanna-Barbera cartoons I'm going to read out a long list

Right And then you're going to pick You pick three And then you'll pick two Should we do one one one one one Yeah we'll do it that way Okie dokie then Here we go

Listening This is shit this game isn't it Astro Your character is Astro Bam Bam Rubble Barney Rubble Betty rubble i know of these boo boo bear dino doggy daddy this is a porn it is a porn i knew it was elroy jetson fred flintstone

george jetson huckleberry hound jane jetson johnny quest pebbles flintstone scooby-doo scrappy-doo top cat Cat, Will the Flintstone Yogi Bear. I felt like a rap coming on halfway through that. I had to fight it. We didn't start the fire! It was Margaret Thatcher with a box of matches. Right. You get to pick one first.

Sitting on the toilet doing a poo but at least our guests are whittling too. Come on. That's my best. It's not. You've peaked. So out of all those names, I wanted to give me one which you think is the least well-known of those. Bam Bam's such a star. So it's not Bam Bam.

Astro. What's the name? Astro the Wonder Dog. Yeah. Can we have Astro for our first answer? Let's have Astro for the first answer. Astro. Okay.

Here we go. Are any of these wrong? No, there are no wrong answers here. But there is one pointless finding a word it's like you find your own enjoyment all right do you want to got donkey daddy. I don't know what just happened there. Which one are you going for? Donkey daddy? There was a moment.

All right. We're married, man. Very uncomfortable. All right. Doggy daddy for the team. You know what? No one said that to me for a long time. Yeah, doggy daddy. Oh, you've got donkeys on the road.

What do you want to do next? Captain Caveman. He's the best, isn't he? Let's have a talk about old cartoon Paul come on because everyone loves that I'll give you an obscure

Hanna-Barbera comic cartoon character yeah Squidly Diddley yes but that's not on here Squidly Diddley we had the VHS of that

I don't think we're going to do any better than Astro really Snagglepuss why is that funny is Top Cat on there Top Cat's on there

yeah I'll go for the list again Astro Bam Bam Rubble Barney Rubble Betty Why is that funny? Is Top Cat on there? Top Cat's on there, yeah. I'll go for the list again. Astro, Bam Bam, Rubble Barney, Rubble Betty, Rubble Boo Boo Bear, Dino, Doggy Daddy. That's been done. Elroy Jetson. Dino, please. Dino. Dino.

Oh, Dino. Who's that dinosaur that lives with the Flintstones? Oh, Dino. Next one. What do you want to pick from this list? Let's do the this list uh i'll read out the ones that you haven't we haven't done so bam bam rubble barney bubble betty rubble boo boo bear elroy jensen jetson fred flintstone george jetson huckleberry hound jane jetson johnny quest pebbles flintstone scooby doo scrappy doo top cat wilmerstone, Yogi Bear. I reckon it's one of the Jetsons, Jane or Elroy. Me, George Jetson.

Here's boy, Elmo. It's probably Jane then because Elroy is one of the first mentioned in the song. So people probably, yeah. You want Jane Jetson then. All right, and so that's yours over. You get one more. Dino from the Flintstones. Johnny Quest.

Doggy Daddy. This has been really shit, man. I'm sorry. Really not fun. We've had to find our own fun. I think we've got one more to pick. Johnny Quest. Who cares?

Johnny Quest. You want to stick with Johnny Quest? Yeah, fuck it. It doesn't matter, does it? Ethan's checked out. Right, so I'm just going to read out now the scores to the answers to save time. That saves time, doesn't it? So, starting here.

Astro, you said. Astro you said Astro gets you one point good answer 173 Doggy Daddy that could be yes Paul

Doggy Daddy is the pointless answer on that yes next you said Doggy Daddy is the pointless answer on the list. Yes! Doggy Daddy. Come on. Next, you said. You said.

The game's over. Let's just move on. Oh, Dino. Dino. Da-da-da-da. Oh, Dino. Oh, Dino. Dino is worth 16 points.

So you are now at 189, plays 108. Dino is worth 16 points. So you are now at 189, plays 108. So you said Jane Jetson. And Jane Jetson gets you one point. Well done. How much was Elroy? Elroy was, I think, a little higher. Where has it gone?

Well done. Nice Jetson selection there. Jetson selection. Jetson selection. I had a few of their records. I've got a Hot Wheels special edition Jetson Flying Saucer. With the bubble calf. I got you that, didn't I?

No. I didn't. I bought it in a charity shop in Florida or something. No, it was an actual shop. In Florida? Yes. A charity shop's not actual shops, then. It's not in his mind.

The truth comes out. Nearly episode three. You said Johnny Quest. Johnny Quest was worth one point. That's good. We did good on that. We did. But unfortunately, the winner of Pointless is...

Unfortunately. Team Bifftavious with 109 points, playing Ethan Gumbs, 190 points. Yay! So that's a point to Team A. Hooray! Right, I'm going to have a stroke. I'm going to talk to you about it after these advertisement breaks.

God, that was a struggle. Can you wait until I press stop before you say shit like that? So I was on my way out to the post office where number 52, when her intended to be, walks in. Cashing a postal order for the wedding conception. Oh, the stingy. So I thought as I was there, I'd get them something

for the conjoogles. Greetings, Carl. A book of home help stamps. She's a stranger to Ajax. That Ethel painting that was, come then, got one premium bond from the post office on £140,000. She never. Now, it's tufted shag in the front room,

and she's on interchange of black and white licence to colour. That young Gavin was in buying Sonia a first-day cover. Say she's into and he wanted a game license game for anything if you ask me question what's britain's biggest selling weekly magazine the answer is what's on tv with at least eight competitions to enter each week and hundreds of prizes to be won Imagine it's Saturday evening You've all had your dinner It's time to sit down in front of the TV BBC One

Because it's 7 o'clock And who's on? Why, it's everyone's favourite friend It's Bruce Forsyth's Generation Game And that's what we're playing in this segment Hooray! It's Bruce Forsythe's Generation Game, and that's what we're playing in this segment.

Hooray! Hooray! Hold on. Life is the name of the game And I want to play the game with you Life can be terribly tame If you don't play the game with two And I want to play the game with you Yes, we're playing the Generation Game want to play the game with you. Yes, we're playing the Generation Game and I found a few versions of the Generation

Game as board games in the past but this is, I think, the original. This is by Strawberry Fair Games, who I've never heard of. It's a lovely design, very redolent of the period in which it was manufactured. It's very I mean, what, this would have been 70

something? What year is it? Monstrous bollocks. What? Monstrously ugly bollocks. Are you having your own podcast? I am. I'm always having my own podcast. This is 1975,

this board game. That must have been after only the first or second series of Gen Game, as we call it. Was Brucey there from the start, or was it Larry Grayson at first? No, it was Brucey first, then Grayson, and then obviously Brucey again, and then Davidson. Davidson. Jim Davidson used to present this?

Really? I didn't know that. The BBC had this weird fascination with making Jim Davidson. Jim Davidson used to present this? Yeah. Really? I didn't know that. The BBC had this weird fascination with making Jim Davidson cuddly TV host. It was like Big Breakin'. Yeah, he was. The racist wife-beater Jim Davidson. Yeah, let's make him

a primetime TV cuddly host. And that was my era as well. That was my introduction to the Generation Game just casually putting women down. So it is a hugely successful game, the Generation Game. Generation Game was bad. I remember seeing it as a kid. I loved it. I. So it is a hugely successful game, The Generation Game. The Generation Game was bad.

I remember seeing it as a kid. I loved it. I remember seeing it as a kid and not being able to understand what was going on. Well, no, basically the show is Bruce Forsyth invites couples on of various,

like if they're related by blood or by marriage or whatever, and then he belittles them in what they do for a career and then pushes them into a pottery table to make shit pottery. Oh, yeah, it's like challenges.

Comment upon shit pottery and then go... Why is pottery table to make shit pottery. Oh, yeah, it's like challenges. Comment upon shit pottery. And then go... Why is it called The Generation Game? Because the families on the show were like a father and a daughter or a brother and a sister. It was like a family game. That's what they meant by generation.

It was my... I dreamed of going on it, both when I was a child, but unfortunately neither of my parents were wanting to go on it. And then when I had kids myself, I dreamed that my daughter and I one day would go on it together, but it neither of my parents would have wanted to go on it. And then when I had kids myself, I dreamed that my daughter and I one day would go on it together, but it's not on anymore.

It did bring it back with Sue Perkins and the other one, Mel and Sue. Oh, but it didn't work, did it? I didn't watch it, unfortunately. For me, the last time I watched anything like that was Vic and Bob's Family's at War. Oh, there's a quote from Brucey on the front of this. Is there? He's endorsed it. You can

have hours of fun playing this fabulous game based on my TV show. And it is really great to be one of the four players to generate. What does that mean? And it is really great

to be one of the four players to generate. That's the sentence. No, they used to go, let's make the players who are ready to generate. Oh, I see. I'm ready to generate.

I'm ready to manufacture. No, don see. I'm ready to generate. I'm ready to manufacture. No, don't. I'm ready to produce. No. Out of your face, Fanny's. I'm ready to come. I'm generating from my facial vulva. Three, two, one.

Generate. Face, vagina, vagina, face. Nine or ten tiny Bruce's running around and here come the little Bruce's now

and a little hoard of little Bruce's oh little Bruce's all hoarding around it's a monkey lie Bruce

and it ends with just a he's written down Alright my loves Alright my loves Alright my loves Alright my loves Now

Who agrees with me But this hairstyle Brucey Is the most scary It's weird It's the most lamby It looks like Shakespeare You can smell

Yeah It is It is Shakespeare's head It's Yeah But don't you feel like You can smell the lamby grease Of his chops What do you mean the lamby grease of his chops?

The lamby grease of his chops. There's a redness of smell coming off, yeah, his muttony, lamby hair. His oily, his oily, lamby hair. Nice to see you. Don't you think that's the most scary incarnation? His sort of mid-summer. Yeah, it's before he trimmed those muffs that he had around his ears. No, his scariest was his last when he was doing, like, Strictly Ballroom.

And it was like watching The Living Dead present the TV show. He was all haunted and all hunched over. I always thought Bruce Forsythe had chimpanzee's eyes. If you look at his eyes. Like a collection? No, don't be... Look at my eyes. They're chimpanzee eyes. If you look at his eyes, A chimp has these eyes.

If you look at his eyes, they are chimp's eyes. What does that mean? I mean, they never even considered what... Look at chimp's eyes. They're the same as Bruce Forsythe's eyes. You look. I tell you what, here's a question. What colour are Bruce's eyes?

Blue, I just saw them on the box. I would have said brown. Do chimps have blue eyes? No, but there's something about his eyes. You look at a chimp and then look at a Bruce Paul fight. He's just saying he has simian eyes. Simian eyes, there. Do you agree, Octavius, that they are simian eyes?

Sure. It's a great ultravox track, simian eyes. Simian eyes. Show me your eyes. How was that bit in Prince Charming? Does he go... No, stop bringing that up. Prince Charming.

in Prince Charming? Does he go, oh, stop bringing that up. Prince Charming. I'm ready to play the game. Right. I'm not quite sure. You just seem to be

going off on one in the corner. I can go off on one. Do you want to? I'll tell you what, we all need to do a five minutes of Brucey just to get out of our system. Five minutes?

Five minutes? Yeah, five minutes. That's a lot of Brucey. I'll do five. Five seconds of Brucey. There's got to be more than that. We're not getting out of our system. For as long as we play this game.

30 seconds of Brucey in three, two, one, go. Go. Here comes the boost babies. The baby boosters. Watch them scurrying around. All right, my love. Vagina face to vagina face. That's the 20 seconds that it naturally peaked. It really did.

Maybe it turns out you can't maintain it. Octavius was enjoying it. Short bursts. Oh, I mean, my life is flashed in front of my eyes so many times. Well, at least

there were lots of highlights along the way. Hey, so Alan, we're doing teams, aren't we? So I'm basically like Octavius's dad. I mean, for the sake of... Which I am actually

old enough to be a dad. Did you know that? Are you? Yeah, well, if you're 33, I could be a young dad. Yep actually old enough to be a dad did you know that are you yeah well if you're 33 I could be a young dad yep actually I was a dad at 18

so actually this works that was very young yeah I know wow I didn't know you were that young tell us a little bit about yourself

you said you married young I already have did you oh yeah was it a quick I didn't like the wink Paul don't wink at me don't ever wink at me again

Brucey Winks doesn't he does he he does the Brucey Wink the famous Brucey Wink he rolls his eyes that's his whole thing and then he does that thing where he stares at the audience

he goes he'll say to a woman yeah oh where'd you come from love and she'll go what and he'll go I realise that works better on camera but i tell you what right you know that's your dynamic father and daughter god what's this

dynamic are we uh your granddad granddad and adopted Grandad Grandad An adopted Orphan I'll do this I'll do this Yeah Oh hello I just Oh hello Yeah because Everyone says hello

Don't they They do And what was I He said I was an adopted Orphan You adopted Grandson Oh cool

Blimey No we're not Oh yay He's looking after me I realise That doesn't mean You have to do voices. Come on, son, we're going on the TV show.

Oh, we're going on the TV show, he is. Where have you come from today? Where have you come from, dear? Where have we come from? Yeovil. Yeovil? Yeah, that's right, Yeovil. What's great about Yeovil?

It's got great shops. Good public transport connections. Good transport. These ones got off the bus, didn't they? It's just gurning. It's just gurning. Oh, but it brings my faces just in a happy place when I do, Brucey. Are we going to play this game then, or what?

Are we going to play this game? Oh, we're ready to play the game called So the game... Oh, we're ready to play the game called Bloomington. By the way, just so you know, hello, I'm going to keep this up.

Just so you know, I'm Grandad, this is my adopted grandson. I'm adopted. Yeah, and we're here to play the fucking game. So we're the generation. We're keeping up

our... We're from Yeovil and we're keeping up our end from the oval and we're keeping up our end of the bargain so could we play the game now please oh yes we'll play

the game right away dear let's get going so the board game version is kind of nice it comes with this little stand with a little 1970s backdrop with little

it's got score rotators on the side all joking aside it's in lovely condition that's as old as me that board game yeah

and it's really very well preserved unyellowed and with an extreme 70s aesthetic I love the colours which are very 70s which I

remember we had an album in our house had the similar shade of blue love it yeah Brucey's face

right in the middle with his simian eyes yes simian eyes no monkey about for you today is there no monkey about ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh in the middle with his simian eyes yes he's there that was a callback paul it was it was a good callback right so it's a nice little stand and it's got all the games that we're going to play on the bottom now some of them don't really work as well as you'd like so i'm going to adapt them as we go but the fundamentally we take terms and teams to roll the dice.

The dice will determine what game you play. And then you'll play it and you'll have a certain amount of time because look, there's a little clock built in as well. Oh. It's motorized.

It's got a mechanic. Yeah. A time mechanic. Yes. And another character. Time mechanic. What year is this? Fixing things.

I've broken my time machine. I need a special part. Oh my God, someone in 1886. Time machine? That'd be great. There you go. Through that wormhole with his big spanner. He's got a time spanner.

I'm just repeating what you said. Like an echo. So we're going to toss the go first again. Okay. Oh again okay all right can we be so be this uh right here we go oh god he can't even toss correctly actually i tossed brilliant then because i tossed to the wrong hand and caught it in my bad hand and then flipped it onto my good hand i would have said you got bad hand yeah tails so do you want to go first or second guess we'll go first yeah so these are going to be activities that you'll be playing with these assorted accoutrements

in the box. Okay. It's like a spoon and some spoons and some balls in there. What do we have to do then? Spoon your balls. You can roll the dice

onto the table, right? And then the dice roll will determine what games. If you roll a two and a four, you'll play game six. So do we play the games together or one at a time?

I'm going to play it so you have to play together. together or one at a time are you i'm gonna play it so you have to play together i'm gonna go for a roll now right great stuff brilliant do you want to just say three three and four we've got seven snake eyes no that's not the wonky eyes no it's not what is snake eyes two. Surely it's got to be two ones. Yeah, it's because it's eyes, isn't it? If you had two fours, it would be spider eyes. Yes. Why have I never done that? Compound eyes.

Compound eyes. Six and six. Six and six. Sorry. That was because you were glugging that tea. Yes. What did you roll? That was directly in the microphone.

Snake Eyes 7. That would be nice to edit out. Snake Eyes 7. Put five balls into the beaker formed by a large and small cups and try and shake them out.

You score one point for every ball that comes out and you have 30 seconds to do it. I've only got four balls here. I went to the British Museum at the weekend

and all the penises were missing or been snapped off of all the statues. It's really weird. But then there was one statue which had, they all just have a lot of hole. And it said that they would make the phalluses separately. And what, put them back on?

Well, no, put them on originally, but they've all either been stolen or... What, the erect ones? There was an erect one that was, there's a... I tell you, I'm you you see this on the generation game it's marvellous but it's just a hole now because the willy's

been taken out of it or that's stolen didn't Oliver Cromwell wasn't there sort of puritanical movements which would have yeah it didn't explain

why they're gone but they because they were created separately not as part of the statue as a whole I've never seen a statue with an erect penis

yeah this one did it's supposedly something to do with penis. Yeah, this one did. It's supposedly something to do with Tutankhamun, this one. And he's holding it. But it's just a big hole where his hand is. His mother was reading it out to other kids. If you want a part of the world, there's a lot of stone penises. India. There's a lot of stone penises down there.

What do you mean, what's going on? Can we stop talking about lost, missing or vandalised penises? India. There's a lot of stone penises down there. What do you mean, what's going on? Can we stop talking about lost, missing, or vandalised penises? Can we stop? No, another one was Connie Burrow Ferret. You know what?

I'm off. Right, so here's the game. I've put the four balls in here, right? There's five balls, it's meant to be. There's obviously one missing. Can't have everything. And you've got 30 seconds

to shake them out into that box so they don't go everywhere, right? And you've got 30 seconds to shake them out into that box so they don't go everywhere, right? And you get a point for every ball that comes out in that time. Ready?

So, Eli, do you want to take this one? Because this is not an activity we can do together. You might, Kat. You could. You could hold the cup together. Go on.

No. You can't do a weird thing. Both shake it together. He's your little orphan. Right, I'm setting the clock. Oh! Here we go. Come and help grab together. He's your little orphan. I'm setting the clock. Here we go. Coming up, Grandad shakers ball cup out.

That's one of our many deities. Right, I'm setting it to 30 seconds. Are you ready? I'm ready. Your time starts. Grandad, go. One ball. Oh, it's not as easy as it looks, is it?

He's got one ball out. Started well. I thought you had better wrist action than that, Silverman. Two balls. You've got five seconds left. Three soft balls. Four. That's all the balls.

That's all the balls. Well played. I think you should have put less time on the clock given there was one ball missing. Well, they're still only getting four points. They could have got a

maximum of five when you think about it. So they're down one anyway. So I'm going to add it to the time. Look at this. Four points.

Four points. Hooray. Good one, Eli. Thank you. Right. Team, you, you, Biftavia. Thank you very much. Where's the dice going? Roll the dice to find out what game you're playing go for it. You can go fair

Always everything snake guys, that's the joke. Yeah. You've explained it. Should have left it as a mystery. Okay, this is the one you have to do together. Oh, do we? You're going to have balls and you're going to catch them or you can do vice versa. You've got that little cup there and you've got the lid open so you can have that.

You want to catch or throw? I'll catch balls, why not? What am I doing? I've got to throw open, so you can have that. Do you want to catch or throw? I'll catch balls. Why not? So what am I doing? I've got to throw them out of the cup? No. Someone's just going to try and throw them. Okay, there you go.

Into the cup. So here are the balls. You've got to try and throw them into the cup that you hold. It's kind of that simple. That sounds easy, doesn't it? Yeah. Well, that was kind of an easy game. When you think about just shaking balls.

These balls aren't as soft as I was expecting. No. I thought they were like fabric or something. Or like cotton wool balls. Oh, no, no. They're lovely little plastic balls. These balls aren't as soft as I was expecting. I thought they were fabric or something. Or like cotton wool balls. They're lovely little plastic balls straight from the throat of Bruce Forsythe himself. The throat. He just pinches his neck.

And it rolls out below his... Why? It's all eggs and faces are eggs. He's ovipositor. He's throat ovipositor. Has he been alien oviposited in his throat? Forsythe His ovipositor, his throat ovipositor. Has he been alien oviposited in his throat? Four slaves ovipositor.

His simian eyes and his alien throat ovipositor. It's that way it goes. It's that way it goes. And the eggs come out. All the things on the conveyor belt he's laid from his ovipositor. Like behind the scenes he's like like

the alien queen it's all the other things just producing a black and decker sander when it comes out they have to mop it down all the juices off the slime the amniotic fluid yeah it's a wash with amniotic fluid and that's what he uses to start his hair. Mutton. Right. Let's move on. So you have 40 seconds, a little bit more time to get the balls in.

I'm literally just holding the... Yeah. I know, right? You can move it around. Why would I... Aren't we on the same team? Yeah, you've got to try and catch them. I'm throwing.

Yeah, but if I literally just stay here, then... Well, I'm not a very good thrower. I'm an old man. Yeah. Well, it might be that you want to hold it down so it doesn't bounce out when he throws it in. So you might want to have to soften the impact. I think, yeah.

So here we go. 40 seconds starting from... Go. One. One. Two. You see there's a bit of action going on. Got 15 seconds. You can keep throwing balls until you run out of time. Quick. You got right. Here we go.

It's all going everywhere. The time is broke. Quick. God, it's a bit, this bit folks falling over. There's eggs everywhere. There's ovipositor erupting everywhere. There's one over there. The whole stage is awash with amniotic fluid. Game over.

I have my knee. You seem in danger. The whole stage is awash with amniotic fluid. Game over. I have my knee. I know, Octavius. You seem in danger. Too much action. What happened? I literally, I literally, I'm just going to have to sort of ooze underneath the microphone for a second.

Right, we're back after that, and you scored two points, so I'm going to add two points to the scoreboard on this. Do we get to roll? Yeah, hang on. One, two. No, I feel like I should get more points for having nearly died. Yeah, I think you don't get insurance points.

Oh, come on. So it currently stands at the end of round one. Team E-Thigh Gum has got four points. And Team Biff Tavius is two points. Two points. Biff Steak. I don't know how he does it there. Biff Tavius is two points. Two points. Two points. Biffsteak. I don't know how he does it.

So if you've got the dice, it's time to roll. That's what they call it, isn't it? Biffsteak. The French. Oh, I'm really confused. B as in Biffsteak. Oh, I see. Biffsteak.

OK, Ethan, you roll at this time. Three Snake Eyes. Snake Eyes for three eyes Snake eyes for three Snake eyes for three Right, okay, so with this game Spoon Spoon You get the spoon

Spoon one another You get this big red ball Yeah And where's that blue cup gone? Everything involves the blue cup Put it on your head Right Right

And then take the ball And drop it into the cup from on your head And every time you can do that, you get a point Now, Eli, you can hold the cup on his head if you want to steady it. That's fine. Right. You have to put the spoon on the ball and then put it in. It's really weird.

It's a weird game. It is weird. It's like spooning balls into your head. They used to do pottery. You have 30 seconds to get as many red balls in. Well, as many spooning balls into your head. See, at the time, they used to do, like, you have... Pottery. You have 30 seconds to get as many red balls in, well, as many times as that red ball in. How do we get the ball out once it's gone in? Just tip it out.

You can take it out. It's not there forever. There isn't any way to get it out. Just tip it onto your hand. Ready? And your time starts now. Live is the name of the game. No, I think that's not.

Elo can't move it. Yeah, you can't move the cup. You're cheating. That's cheating. That's not allowed. So here we go. Cancel that one. Yeah.

Oh, no. Oh, it's not as easy as it looks. It's actually a funny action. Yeah, right. He's lifting it up, but it's hard. He's tipping it in. Oh, it's one point. You've got 10 seconds.

Can you get another one in? Oh, it's quick. Six seconds. It's like he's wearing a funny little hat. Two points get another one in? Oh, it's quick. Six seconds. Five. Two points. Four. Three. Two.

One. That's it. It's all over. That was harder than it looked. Two points taking you to six overall. Well played. Imagine if you ate through a pipe in your head. That would be difficult.

Brain food. Yeah. You had no mouth well in that Star Wars holiday special doesn't that guy Harvey the actor

who goes to the bar and he gets the drink and he pours it into his head doesn't he I don't know remember that he goes and sits

in front of B. Arthur who's that Harvey Wallbanger yeah Harvey Wallbanger that's the name of the drink did you wake up

and just decide to get involved in this conversation is that what happened he went I shit in here Harvey what does Harvey Worldbanger? Harvey Worldbanger, that's funny, isn't it?

I'll try it. I'll say spoff now. Oh, I'm not going to say that. Oh, I didn't hear what. In my back pocket, I've got my mechanic gag, haven't I? Well, now that you mention it. Yeah, you do. Don't waste it.

So it's your go now, used to. So roll the dice to play the game. Octavius, would you like to roll again? Because it means I have to bend down and hold. Snake eyes. Snake. Six. Snake eyes.

Number six. Oh, we did that one again. So let's just do a different game. Let's do a different game. Oh. The clock's falling off. Oh, no. I've got it.

I've got it. Because we jinxed it by saying what lovely condition it was in. Oh, okay. It's not in condition now. No, we fax got it. I've got it. We jinxed it by saying what lovely condition it was in. Oh, okay. It's not in condition now. No, we fucked it. Okay. This is going to be an interesting one. I think...

How can you both do this one? I'm ready to complete. It's a generate for the generation game. Nice to have a chin about my own. This is a good game Paul This is a good game This one Is kind of very simple

There are four balls In this cup Are these all This fucking cup I just call it The cup game I call it The fucking stupid

Generation cups The fucking stupid cup Shits The cup-eration game You've got to Pour it out And try and get them to stick on the hole. There's a little ring on the table,

ladies and gentlemen, listening at home, boys and girls, that has five holes in. There are four balls in this little cup. You've got to tip them out and try and get them to roll and stay in the holes. You can do that as many times

as you want to get it done, but at the end of 45 seconds, your search engine needs burning. You've got to roll them till they stay on the little thing like that. It's harder than it looks, isn't it, Paul? Anyway, best of luck, Biffo. That looks like a shit game, Paul.

That looks shit. Sorry to be a downer. Should we try with a spoon? Have you made this game up? Yeah. You've made this one up. Why aren't we playing one on the actual game? What the fuck is this? What do you do? Why haven't you made this game up? Yeah. You've made this one up? No. Why are we playing one on the actual game? What the fuck is this? What are you doing? That's what it says.

Why have you made this up? That's what it says. Let's move on. This is shit. It's a game. Literally, look. It says roll them out of the cup into the tray. Do a different game.

It's shit. Give it another one. All right. Let's give you a different game. I don't like this, Paul. All right. We're not having fun, Paul. Pick a fun one, Paul. Paul. This is the last game. And

then the winner will go on to the memory card. Right cubes. We'll mix it up in a cup by any chance. Yeah. Oh my God. The. Oh, delicious. The cube potatoes. And then you've got to bounce a ball to knock some off. We're going to lose the balls all over the place again. Let's do the big one so you can't... You are shit at that. No, I'll do it. Well, no, it's not your go. It's their go, so they can take turns, all right?

Okay. So you'll have a chance at bouncing it, but it's got to bounce and then... Oh, sorry. Oh, my God. have a chance at bouncing it but it's got a bounce and then oh sorry yes oh my god i thought you were gonna go mama i apologize everyone listening for all the mic banging i'm gonna edit as much as i can out but this is a nightmare right so again're going to bounce it off the table and onto the sponges to knock them off. For every one you knock off, you get a point.

So there's a maximum of three points available. Right. Who wants to go first? Sure. God, just hand it over. That's great. I can't catch stuff. Right.

Here we go. You've got 45 seconds starting from now. Oh, two down. So, there you go. You got 45 seconds starting from now. Oh, two down. So there you go. Count still stands. I have a very bouncy hand. They keep bouncing it to no avail. Eli grabs it and throws it back to bouncy hands.

And it's all over again, everyone. Smashed it Welcome back my friends To the show He didn't use that On the show Three points They did Oh

Three points So at the end of that round At the end of the final round Because fucking death It is It is Six points To

Ethan and Eli Yes And they're five points To Biffo And Octavius But it's alright It is. It is. Six points to Ethan and Eli. Yes. And they're five points to Biffo and Octavius. It's all right. You're both going to play the memory game. When we add up all the scores, how many you remember, then the points could still change.

The points could still change. There's only one point in it. So on this board game version of Generation Game, there's a nice little kind of plastic frame you attach to it, and it allows you to reveal the cards from behind the secret door. And I'm going to put eight in

and I'm going to show you eight in a row and then close the door and then you've got, I think it's 20 seconds to name as many as you can right from that eight. And you'll both get a chance

to gather go of it. See though where the doors are. They should have put a bit higher so they were on his throat. A bit higher? A bit higher. And then his over-positor could have come out.

That's what this game needs. He's trying to lay things on the floor. It needs a mechanical throat-based ovipositor to come out and dunk a slimy egg on the... An egg which contains a tees made.

And if you want to find out who wins, join us next week for Cheap Show TV part two. It's a cliffhanger. Fucking hell. Bye. See you next week. Bye. Bye.

Stop. That's really upsetting when you do those monkey noises. Who will win? Team Bifftavius or Team E-Thigh Gum? Find out next week in the Cheat Show Board Game Game Show Special, Part 2. Best board you'll ever see. What would you love to be in?

Don't pause, never rewind. Hey, Alfie, this band's really pants. Don't worry, Sidney. These easy cheesy flavour skips will soon sort them. Fizz, fizz, melt, melt, fizz, fizz, melt, melt. Ha, ha, ha. Melt down. Well, that's it.

Brilliant. New easy cheesy flavour skips. They physically melt and they disappear. Call the live one-to-one girls now on 09066 400 999. That's 09066 400 999. Tomorrow night on Cheap Show TV, Willy Wanker pops over to another great British farm to check out the lives and livestock of this fascinating industry

in Willy Wanker's Country File. Hello, I'm down at the farm, I'm down at Whipsnade Farm, and I'm here speaking to the owner of the farm, Daniel Whipsnade. Hello to you. Hello there, yes, nice to meet you. Now, I've been asked to ask you some fucking questions about your sexy fucking animals.

Sorry, I thought it was about the dairy production. Yeah, I'll tell you about dairy production. Make fucking hell. Well, yeah. Yeah, you're fucking lovely. So tell me more about your cows. We've got a cheese herd. Oh, I...

And we've also got pigs. Aye, aye, little stinky pigs. Aye, a little stinky pigs. Horses. It shouldn't be legal what you do here. It's a full farm. And of course we produce eggs. Aye, do you? Right, well, why don't you show me around the farm

and give me five minutes with the sheep? All right, put your wellies on. I pardon.