CheapShow - Ep 276: "Oh, Norman!"

Episode Date: April 8, 2022

Sometimes it’s fine to have a silly, throwaway episode, and this episode is about as throwaway as they come. Paul and Eli have a touch of the silly giggles this week and you may find it a) charming or b) deeply unprofessional and annoying. You know, the usual! In this particular episode of CheapShow, the cheap chaps are heading back into the Country Urban Noodle Test lab (Kitchen) after a long spell away to try out two “American” instant noodles. They are dirt cheap, but do they taste of dirt? Silverman’s Platter also returns to delve into more weird and (occasionally) wonderful musical mysteries. There is a trilogy of childhood tunes for Paul and Eli to endure and each is more wonderful than the last. In fact, it’s quite the tuneful episode as Eli may have accidentally stumbled upon a hit West End Musical, waiting to be realised… And for Paul, he dying to hear more! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-276-oh-norman And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! Oh, and you can NOW listen to Urinevision 2021 on Bandcamp... For Free! Enjoy! https://cheapshowpodcast.bandcamp.com/album/urinevision-2021-the-album MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop Www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Hello, yes, welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast where me and my co-host Eli Silverman go for the bargain bins, the charity shops and poundlands of Great Britain to bring you the treasure we find amongst the trash. I mean, it was all there, Paul. Yeah, it was just, I didn't believe it. We're not doing the cold open this week. We just, that was the credits. We're not doing, no, because you, I know. We've just done the episode and we're just going straight into it. I know from the fact you've recorded some kind of fucking freestyle Paul is sexy bit. I heard you doing it. I heard you fucking doing it. And you've got a plan. You've got a little glint, a mischievous glint in your dirty scouse eye.

Mate, no. This is it. Straight up. We've had the credits. What do you mean straight what? I've got nothing. I don't even know what we're doing. You refused to plan this week.

That's not true. I'm sick and tired, Paul tired i left this up to you the angry man of this podcast okay stop being angry then well stop making me angry you're always angry it's because you are deceitful and disingenuous with me especially in the moments leading up to the beginning of the podcast and then it's like oh there's no cold open this week and then you give a frankly subpar little spiel bit sounding like you've just woken up mate come on try

at least try right you know what Eli ha ha ha this really is a cold open welcome to cheap show you twat I hate you

and your fucking noodle posse people love Fucking noodle posse. People love noodles. It's just a fact of Cheap Show you're going to have to learn to fucking accept. Cheap Show. Off-brand, brand-off, off-brand, brand-off. Cheap, cheap, cheap, cheap. Off-Ramp-Ramp-Ramp-Ramp-Ramp-Ramp-Ramp Cheep-Cheep-Cheep-Cheep Cheep Show

It's the price of shite Paul Gannon Eli Silverman Welcome to Cheat Show And I go and I nuzzle I stitched you up like a kipper No you didn't This is what I mean

How is it How am I fair game It's not even sporting You thought it would Don't fold open Listen And there really was You fell for it

You muppet What did I fall for My little games I don't even know what's real Are we recording now and there really was. You fell for it. You map it. What did I fall for? My little games. I don't even know what's real. Are we recording now? Yeah, my mind games. I'm in mind game mode this week, Mr. Silverman.

Oh, and I'm hot to trot. I really am. Count Ganon-ler. That's the best you had. That's the best you could think of. That's what I'm going to only put in a half-arse effort for you now. Ganula. It wasn't even that good. Ganula, I said.

It was awful. It was poor. I'm just trying to break the ice. God. Hello. Welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast. Yes, we go for all sorts of... Bargain bins.

Charity shops. You know, power lands. Discount super stores. Yes. Worlds of thrift. Worlds of thrift. Worlds of thrift. Yeah, thrift stores. Goodwill.

We've been there. Done that. How good is the will though? As well as you want. It's a bit of a religious goodwill, isn't it? Is it a religious goodwill? Hot topic. Topic?

Yeah. Hot button. Yeah. Now. I haven't got nothing. What have you got nothing? You just interrupted me. Well, you've put me on shaky ground.

Yeah. I'm walking on shaky ground, mate. Broken glass. I've got a stinky, stinky, stinky, stinky knob. Hey, Eli. Eli. Prick a prick a pronte. How about that?

Thank you. Bringing that back. That's brought me back to earth, mate. Thank you. I kid you. Yes. You know what? I kid you off just then.

I realised over the weekend, I just had a weekend away. Yeah. I can't have frazzles no more. Oh no, why? They repeat. Yeah. They repeat on me.

You've heard that expression when something repeats on you so you can taste the food. Yeah, but what do you mean? You burp in it, you taste it again. Yeah. Does anything do that for you?

No. A lot of people, cucumbers they have to avoid and stuff like that. I just realised this weekend which of people, cucumbers they have to avoid and stuff like that I just realised this weekend I have to avoid cucumbers No, for that reason, not for the reason that it might go up your arse

You have to avoid cucumbers for a totally separate and more disgusting reason Which is when they liquefy after a week up your arse and you have putrid bin juice cucumber dripping out your gaping maw. So listen, mate. Frazzles. They repeat on me like nobody's business.

It's like a fucking atomic clock, like a cesium clock, the constancy and repetition with which it comes through. Every 30 minutes for about seven hours, I taste the frazzles again. And these were like fake knockoff frazzles, right? Oh, well, maybe that's the problem. That's not the problem.

I've realised it's a problem with that. Whatever that bacon additive flavour is, it repeats on me like the most eternal and sort of constant thing in the whole universe right so I just wanted to say that good I'm glad anyone else who suffers from this please

write in yeah we'll have a health line repeaters sufferers need to be more catchy doesn't it like um frazzle survivors abuse by frazzles

frazzle abuse what about this staple of frazzle to my nip nips I've got frazzle cheds right again look atzzled cheds. Right.

Again. Look at my crispy cheds. Captain Sensible's walked out of Eli's brain department. Look at my crispy cheds. Sergeant Bollocks has walked in. I'll be okay, though. Sergeant Bollocks is here. I affect you.

Sergeant Bollocks. That's you, Abe. Sergeant Bollocks. What does he sound like Windsor Davis would you like this banana say would you like

this banana right I'm having a Red Bull right he's having a Red Bull deep deep deep deep it's a wet I like to get them wet god this podcast has gone to shit

well will we even get to 300 is the question I think we will we've got some little things drag ourselves we've got some plans

don't we, Paul? We were talking about it today. We had some lovely little plans for the live show. Little things. Little myths. Little tables. Fables. All these stories.

The fables. The lore. I love the deep lore of the Cheap Show podcast because that's the second time Eli's said, taste my crispy chib tits. Shut your fucking mouth, please. Just shut it. You'll never make me. You don't really want me to shut mouth, please. Just shut it. You'll never make me. You don't really want me to shut up, though.

On the podcast today, we are going back to a place we've not been to in a while. We're going to Eli's Country Urban Noodle Test Lab Kitchen. And that's right. And that is right. And we've got two lovely instant noodles ready for you. This is still a relic. The noodles today, Paul, are a relic of my trip to Florida, which I heard about last week.

We really can't wait to hear from... I don't know if people would have remembered there were noodles I mentioned last week. There were mentioned noodles. And you very rudely gave me a 10-second countdown when trying to mention them. So I'll be mentioning them in full and describing them

and cooking them for you to taste this week, Paul. Whoop-a-dee-doo. Fan-fucking-tastic. Oh, was that a spit take? Ah, good choke. Ah, woo! I like it when the Red Bull goes up my nostrils from behind.

Woo! Oh dear, you got the fizz. I got the fizz from behind my brain stem, mate. Stop guzzling. You look fucking demented when you're guzzling it. I need it.

I literally thought a demon was about to come out of your face. I'm fine now. Are you? But no, but Eli, are you okay? You don't look it. I had a bit of a heavy weekend.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Boo hoo. The ongoing fucking misery fest that is Eli's existence. What are we going to do next week? We're getting all this Patreon stuff sorted out and it'll be fine. Yes.

I'll come down very early. Whoop-dee-doo. I'll say, hello, I'm here for work, governor. Hello, I'm Sergeant Pollux. Take your pants down and bend over. I have a banana. What, do you have a banana? I've got a banana and I can cause mischief with it, sir.

Will you stick it into my arse? No. Down the metre, sir? No, I will use it as a ball gag for your mouth as I tickle your gooch with a dusty brush. This is not working now. I am the dusty brush man. He has lost all excitement for me, Sergeant Bollocks.

What do you mean excitement? Well, he came in just now, and then I thought this could happen. Sergeant Bollocks could happen, then it's tickle the gooch. I got excited that I could do a voice. I haven't done that kind of voice before on the show, I don't think. No, you've discovered one more of your voices. Yeah, so I was going to, you know, maybe I shouldn't have wasted them on Sergeant Bollocks.

I'm still trying to work out where you... Because everything's Jimmy or Bollocks on this fucking show. I'm still trying to work out where you got Sobbing Demon from, where you stole that from. I didn't. You just don't like it because I'm a witty man and you're a bumbling mouth cretin who can't fucking... I can talk.

What? People say when I say my chebs are crispy because I've stapled a fucking frazzle to them. Every word is clear, Paul. It's nonsense though, isn't it? How is it nonsense? It could be done.

It can't. It can be done. What is a chodney? Tell me what a chodney is. Chodney is whatever the believer feels. It doesn't. It can't.

Give it a concrete meaning. It's not a concrete thing. Of course chodney is... Define chodney. How do you use it a concrete meaning. It's not a concrete thing. Of course Chodney's. Define Chodney. How do you use it in a sentence? Define it. Can I go for a Chodney? No.

Did I get hit by a Chodney? No. Yes. Could be. Did I order a Chodney? You could order a Chodney. Yeah. Could I make this podcast?

Stop complaining about the podcast while we're trying to fucking do it. Now, what have we got? Noodles. That's not one thing. And then we got a Silverman's Platter. Silverman's Platter. Which has a kind of theme this week. It has a little bit of a theme this week.

A couple of things I picked up on a record that I picked up about a year ago. Yeah. Which is really up my strasa. Yes. You know what I'm saying? It's a very interesting album, actually. And we're looking forward to talking about that later.

Odd to say, yes, sir. I just crept up on me that that later. Aren't we, sir? Yes, sir. I just crept up on me that morning. Sergeant Bollocks, can he fuck off now? I wish he was missing in action. No, he's AWOL. They don't say missing in action, do they? M-I-A. Yeah, but don't they say AWOL?

Isn't that absence without leave? Yeah, that's when a rogue soldier goes mad and goes on an adventure. Do you know what A-W-O-W is? Absence without wanking. Right. Good. No, that was worthy.

It's top-touch. It meant he left and he hadn't wanked. Yeah, top-notch. Top-notch humour. Top-notch humour from... From London's premier maverick freestyle broadcaster. Right. You know what?

At this point, let's just start the podcast because I think I'm going to have an emotional breakdown. You are. What are we doing first? We're going to do the noodles now. We're going to go to the kitchen. We haven't been there in a while. I'm looking forward to seeing the Eli that exists in the kitchen.

But aren't we going to put that at the end of the podcast? I don't know. No, we'll just stick it in now, the records. We'll do it in order. Should we listen to the records first then? No. Let's do the noodle section now. All right.

Ladies and gentlemen, we're going to the Eli Silverman's Country Urban Noodle Test Lab kitchen. Stop showing me your tit. Please. I'm just feeling where the frazzle would go. Stop it. You'd maybe dampen the frazzle a bit

just so it's a bit more plastic so you could staple it onto my chibs. Oh, it's episode 276. Cheddars, what about cheddars on chebs? Cheddars, mini cheddars on my cheb-chebs. You fucking nonsense bastard. Right, this is it. Cut to the sound effect.

No, that needed more. No, it didn't. Stop this. Stop this segment now. Sound effect. Okay. Right, we're recording. Come out of the ham palace of sausage and eggs. Ham palace of sausage and eggs.

We're going down the mystical corridor. This is what you used to call a valley. He's on the floor now. You... What the... We've lost our... I'm just going to apologise for this week's episode now. We're not in a fit state mentally, you

can tell. This is not how two professional podcasters should behave at all. No, come on, it'll be fine. This is actual madness this week.

I'm tempted to start again. No, no, no. No, come on. Come into the Tesla kitchen. Oh, no, no. No, come on. Come into the Tesla kitchen, please. Oh, we haven't been here in a while. It's very dusty. Okay.

Now. Hang on. Let me just close the door. Seal us in. Right, we're in. Right, what are we doing this week? We've got two noodles, Paul, this week, which were given to me by my sister, Jennifer, from Florida.

You might remember her voice from last week's episode. And she likes to pick out interesting things for me knows I'm into noodles now these are both what seemed to be oh this is oh this is this is nice being back in the we haven't done this in a while like the vibe I like when we go handheld I like when we get into the kitchen it's got a nice vibe it's different I'm excited so this one the first one is 2 p.m, that's the brand. I've never heard of them. This is a flavour called akabare chicken and there's things that stand out about this. On the back it says the hottest noodles in

Nepal. So presumably that's a Nepalese dish. The akabare. Akabare chicken. We'll look it up. I want to draw your attention to a phrase on the back just to skip ahead a little bit, because it says, you know, cooking instructions, boil water, you know, fair enough. Yeah. It's got English right there. Drain water, leaving around five spoons of water at the bottom.

Here's the nice sentence. Add seasoning and akabari slurry. So that's what it says. And cook it up until it dries. Yeah. Oh, is that what it says? Slurry, yeah. Oh, so you actually, these are very,

because these are sort of modelled, are they not, on those very famous, at the moment, Korean noodles. Like the Woksa. The hot chicken ramen ones, the Samyang hot chicken ramen ones. Because these have two times spicy on it, and that's, remember, the one we tested, and we had to eat with the dragon. Yes.

Yes. It is canon now. It is canon now. Happy. And those were those, and they're very popular, because you can get all sorts of things that are Sam Young hot chicken ramen flavoured, like fucking, they do like a dry noodle snack

and they do crisps, that flavour. It's like a flavour that's taken over. It's like a kind of, it's a type now, isn't it? It's a genre of the noodles. So these noodles, which are made by a company called Asian, you see, it's like a little pot, a little sort of clay cooking pot logo. Yeah, just Asian.

I've never come across them either before. But this is a brand of theirs, 2PM Noodles, which might be just for that, the territory, which is Southern Florida, where these were bought. But they were, let's see where they were manufactured. What does that say? I don't know. I can't read it.

Nepal. They're from Nepal. Oh, really? Yeah. But they look like they've been formed out by an American company to make them. They totally have because they were sold in. So interesting, things going on with that, 2pm. And that is a...

It's interesting. It's interesting because it's sort of aping those Korean noodles, but it's obviously for different markets. Nepalese, never come across them before. And then we have mora. Mora. This is the second one now we're talking from a company called Morera. Chatpata. Chat what? Chatpata.

Chatpata. Instant noodle. Chatpata. C-H-A-T-T-T-A. And then you've got there, Paul, some little characters on this one. You've got a little, sort of, it can only be described as a Mexican chilli pepper wearing a sombrero. Yes. And his little friend, which is a little sort of it can only be described as a Mexican chilli pepper wearing a sombrero yes

and his little friend which is just a sort of smiley face animated smiley face which we think might be a corn cob

no because I just noticed there's one that is definitely just a yellow smiley face in the actual logo oh so it's like a like a Pac-Man thing

isn't it yeah fucking weird but it's just you know you look at it and you think, oh, that's the shorthand for the food type. It's Mexican stereotypes. Well, maybe, but I want to know what flavour is.

Is it sort of a Mexican flavour or what? Because it's got some Arabic sort of type writing on it, and I see it's made in Lahore, part of India, Lahore, right? It's northern India. I don't know. It's northern India. So interesting, both interesting. But she got them in America?

Yes, these are both on sale. Picante is Spanish for spicy. There'll be a spicy one. Well, he's a chilli pepper. So I'm hoping for heat from this one. And that is a soup one, isn't it? Whereas this is like boil off all the excess water until it's a sort of slurry one.

So are you going to help me to prepare these noodles today? I am. What do you want me to do we could take a break mate we'd have to record everything we could just skip to the bit where it's ready get that no think about it, we could just skip to the bit where it's ready

because we've done the preparation before yeah but can we describe how we do both of these yeah but we can talk about that at the end when it's ready just go easy on ourselves, mate. All right. It's been tough. It's been a tough couple of years, man. It's been tough, mate, for everyone.

I know. We've got to keep on entertaining. I know, it's hard. You're such a maverick, Paul, sometimes. No, you're the maverick. I know. You're the maverick. That's what I'm trying to fucking say.

I'm the fucking maverick. So do you want to take a break and just make these quietly without having to perform? Let's prepare these and we'll come back to you. We'll come back. And we'll taste them for you. Okay, now Paul,

can I just get some closing thoughts then before we take our break and prepare these on these two noodles. The 2pm Akabari chicken, what are your thoughts? What are you going to think it's going to taste like?

Oh, that's the other thing I didn't mention about this, which is a detail that I really appreciate. They've got an actual Scoville unit reader on it, like a little diagram of a Scoville level, which is the international unit of chilli heat.

Kapiskum heat, as it were, Paul. And look, 8,000. But that's not that much, you said. That's not that high. They're trying to say it's two times spicy, but we're going to look up. I'll look that up when we have our little break as well, and see, I think that's less spicy than like a jalapeno pepper,

which both me and you could just eat a jalapeno pepper by just chunking down on it. Yeah. Couldn't we? We could chob right down on it. Would you like to hear my opinions then, since you've asked but kept on talking for minutes? I just wanted to mention the Scoville unit,

which you can see in the photos. I think this one's going to be the better. The 2pm will be the better. I think it's going to have a kind of sober thing going on. Yes, yes. You know, so I think the flavour will stick to the noodle a bit more.

It'll be quite nice saucy. Yeah. We don't know what the state of the sachet count is for either of these yet. No, we don't, yeah. We'll come back and tell you. We're going to take photos

of the sachets as I open them. Exactly. And I think this one will be fine, but I think it's not going to be anywhere near as spicy as either of us are going to want. Want or need. Or need.

Or need in our mouths. I need the hotness in my mouth. So that's just my opinion. It's instant noodle, pound sign. And this is akabari chicken. They look delicious. I can't wait to try them. I'm going to get the kettle on right now.

Let's get the kettle on. And we'll join you when these lovely things are prepared. Are prepared. Thank you. See you later. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Bye.

Hello. Shut up. Whose test lab fucking kitchen is this, Paul? Okay? Can I have my own space on this podcast? This about you you looked at me to go say something and then when i went to say something you said something i want to do the intro to this little bit go for it now hi guys welcome back to the tesla kitchen all sorts of noodle magic goes on here we have finished the prep period of both these noodles paul and i don't know about you mate

but I'm disappointed from the initial half report coming off these fuckers. Oh I'm not even hell of a ho for these yet. And also the appearance. They're both kind of very shit coloured aren't they? Sort of diarrhea-y. Diarrhea-y. Diarrhea-y. Diarrhea-like. I will say this. The cheaper one

the Chattapata which is made by Knorr, we found out. In one of the arms of the thing. But don't you think it's funny, that's Knorr and this brand is Moore with a double R and an E and a similar font style. I actually couldn't find that version of the brand online. There were lots of other versions by other brands selling the same thing with a similar kind of logo on it.

Yes. And it seems to be just sort of some kind of generic spicy flavour name, chatpata, doesn't it? Very little actually. Spicy tangy is what one website described it. We don't know, that's the cheaper one. But they found it nebulous as well. The akabari chicken. Hang on,

just before we go on, I do say that looks the more appetising actually of the two. Right. Because I think the two... You've got little bits of dehydrated pepper or something in there. There's actual bits. It was a one sachet job. However, the 2pm Akabari chicken Nepalese does look worse,

and it looks considerably more, like, yucky. Yeah, OK. Well, we'll see. The taste is in the flavour of these, and also the... The way round would make sense, yes. That's right. The flavour...

The taste is in the flavour. The taste is in the flavour. So... Isn't that right? The taste is in the flavour. The taste is in the flavour. So... Isn't that right? The flavour's in the taste. The test is in the flavour. The test is in the taste of these, Paul. The test is in the taste of these.

The taste is in the taste. Cut all that out and just go to me saying this. And action. The taste... Oh, shit. You fucking wank. Right, shall we test? The test is in the taste.

What are we tasting first, though? We'll test the Chattapata. No, in the way that we introduced them. We introduced the 2pm first, didn't we? No. Who knows? Let's go for the Chattapata, then. Yes, that's the plan.

Right, let's go. He's going to go first. What's the huff? Oh, yeah, huff. It's not much of one. There's not much huff at all. I couldn't tell you what that is by the huff. He's gone in. I'm going to go in now. And we've eaten.

Paul, do you want to go first on this? It's gone in. I'm going to go in now. And we've eaten. Paul, do you want to go first on this? It's very acidic. Has a real sort of sourness. There's sort of a citrus sourness to it, yes. A tiny bit of kind of like a chicken, kind of, little bit. I would say a bit musty. Do you know what I mean? A bit sort of dusty and musty.

And then it has a kind of nettle sting spice. The spice, I think, is the most impressive part of that whole thing. Yeah. It's salty. Yeah, and it's salty. It has a bit of the jour. That must be quite tart. Yes.

That is the first thing that hits you, that it's tart. A bit like a turkey, actually, Paul, isn't it? You know what? It fucking is. You're right. It's a turkey, that type of thing. I kind of fucking like it in a dirty way, I have to say now. You know what the fuck it is. You're right. It's a Taki, that type of thing. I kind of fucking like it in a dirty way, I have to say now. You know what?

I'm not a huge fan, but I do exactly know what you're getting at. This is a dirty noodle. Very much doing what a Taki does, which is instead of... You know what? This is like the B-movie of instant noodles, you know? It's the slashing at camp murder part seven of noodles.

It's very much a B-tier noodle, but not bad for it. It's the slashing it camp murder part seven of noodles. It's very much a B tier noodle, but not bad for it. It's proper slop. There's something nasty about it, yeah, but in a satisfying slop. Now, let's go. This is giving it the big large, this 2pm chicken, a kabari chicken. It looks a lot better on that picture than it does on the plate. It has two sachets. The sachets have proper printing on them.

It's given it the large gourmet instant noodle business, isn't it? But I think, actually, when you mix it all together... We haven't tasted it yet. No, but even at sight, it doesn't look anywhere near as richly flavoured. As it does on the pack, no. It's really far away from the serving

suggestion photo on the pack, isn't it? Very much a different colour, and there's no bits of fried fish or egg or pea in there. Yeah, I mean, that would aesthetically make either of these better, but there's still a rubberiness to the real thing that this one doesn't seem to... The noodles look the same to me. Anyway, I just... This looks like sick, basically, is what I'm saying.

So let's have a taste of this one. We should mention as well, we tried to do some research on what akabari chicken is again very little available on the internet from the first glance was there they just said what it's a chicken it's a noodle flavor it's like going into a recursive kind of rabbit hole of websites all repeating the same click here to find out what it means click here to find out what it means and it's like it's just spicy fucking ads along the way which were just for belly tumors yeah and here's margaret with her face thinking about those ads here's margaret's face in two halves and here's a here's a child with no limbs staring at you looking sad and do you want to play the postcode lottery it's weird

shit like that now let's taste this 2 p.m let chicken. Let's do that now. Bear with us. We'll be right back after our slurps. Right, we're back. That tastes like eating my dad's DIY table. You did not like it. What was it? You found it was artificial?

It tastes really... No, it's really spicy but the flavour is so fucking like... It feels like paint. Like emulsion. Ugh! And it's got such a heat behind that,

it's just the whole experience from top to bottom is unpleasant. Ah! Ah. Yeah, that's not nice at all. No. It's very dry. You know what I mean? Very dry.

Very hot and dry. It's a very kind of arid, dry heat. It's kind of growing on me, man. No, it's not. Trust me, have another bite, you'll regret it. Seriously, you will regret it. It's an endurance noodle, man. It's so asbestos-y.

Dry heat. It's a dry, dry heat. It's not fun. Because it's got no flavour to back it up. I've changed my tune since the first bite because I want more. That's horrible. However, having said that, I think the overall winner, we've both agreed this week, is the Chakpata by Mora.

Yeah. It's a lot more flavourful. Yes. More going on. And the spice isn't quite as aggressive to cover up the lack of... And has dehydrated vegetable pieces. Yeah. Which I like.

Yes. We're going back for more of that now. Yeah, good. I'm not going to turn... I'm going to turn the mic away now. Boom! My fucking mouth. Well, thanks everybody.

Yeah. For coming to the noodle test lab kitchen again don't fucking mock me I've just stop talking if you want

I'm trying to do my segment well then stop eating hot noodle my mouth is on fire that is hot

that is two times spicy isn't it I feel like my gum's bleeding it creeps up on you so at least it says what it does on its says. Yeah, but the thing is, yeah, it's spicy.

All that's well. But there's no flavour to back it up. It's so... Yeah, but you're working. Oh! Oh! Stop it. Feels like the inside of my mouth is sweating.

You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh! My teeth feel like they're about to drop out. It's fucking fiery mate I just wish it had some chickeny flavour or it had something else it just doesn't

yes but the chat batter definitely has some savoury goodness to it I think I prefer the chat batter because it has a smorgasbord of flavours no matter how weak they are imagine basically a turkey fuego flavour

as a noodle and that is what it's a bit more fun to eat actually yes and actually fresher than the dry arid boots in the mouth version of the heat hottest noodles of nepal well they're hot oh that's it they've got this i'm getting all the scovilles coming through you you wouldn't want a thread of it it's pushed into your bum or would you meet us i, it would hurt. Yeah. Yeah. Or even rubbed on your nip-nips.

Imagine getting one of those flossed up your metres. Well, it would fall apart. I mean, again, it's quite hard to actually get soft material into one's... Into the sides.

Of what? The metres? Yeah. That doesn't open the whole shaft up, Paul. It opens mine up. How do you know? Because I can hear it.

I hear the wind coming in and out. Oh, fuck off I don't want fucking meters whole talk in the kitchen of fucking noodles Go and fucking do your own little vamp bit about God About God? Oh that's rather rich

I've got a sweat on, this is surprising Right, that's all we've got time for on this time's edition of Eli Silverman's Country Urban Noodle Test Lab Kitchen. We need a score. We need a score. Oh, yeah.

All right. Chat patter. Out of five. Is there no fucking... We're not messing with the fucking scoring system in this kitchen. All right. Out of five, I would give the chat patter about a... 3.5.

No, let me think. About a... B. I hate you I asked This don't fucking I'm not even fucking Fuck you Here are my marks

No No You wouldn't fucking agree to it Stop threatening me You don't agree to use my scoring system You can't take part You have to stay away from me I've got an injunction

You don't wanna fucking What? You don't wanna give it a score anyway I do, I will I promise I'm sorry, daddy I'm just gonna give my scores first Then you can muck around Alright You don't want to give it a score anyway. I will. I promise. I'm sorry, Daddy. I'm just going to give my scores first,

and then you can muck around. All right. Chat Pata, 3.5. 2pm Akabari Chicken, a 2. I would actually agree. I would exactly say the same. Thank you. I would agree concurrently with your opinions on that matter.

We still have all sorts of pot noodle style noodles on the market out there, Paul. There's so many to taste. So if you're interested in noodle content like this, let us know. You know? What's so funny about that? And thanks again to Jenny for sourcing these noodles from southern Florida in the US. And I think we can agree there's a very different instant noodle culture, not the one you like, okay?

Did she say anything else about the microwave oven video stuff? No. Just one, like five second ping on a microwave door. Fine. Yeah? Yeah. Just put it out there into the universe.

I'll just put my tendril out to her, okay? Yeah, and ask if she'll ping a microwave door for me. Shut up. You've taken this down a level again. Good. I've done my job here. Right, off to the sound effect for the next segment. Bye-bye.

I'm just going to hop over the sound effect and into the next one. Ready? Bye. Here we go. One, two, three. Huh! going to hop over the sound effect and into the next one. Ready? Here we go. One, two,

three. Oh, well, we're back from the kitchen and my lips are hot and tingling. That's a lie. No, they are. They actually still are tingling from all the hot noodle action that I got. From the akabari chicken. Two times spicy. Two times the spicy. 8,000 Scovilles.

So now you've got a little metric in your head. A little metric in my head. Calibrate the Scovilles. So now you've got a little metric in your head. A little metric in my head. Calibrate the Scovilles by. I like to calibrate my Scovilles with the metric in my head. Pop it in my mouth. I can test the Scovilles. One, two, three, 4,000.

4,000. 4,000 Scovilles. Would be half as, see that would be half as what we just had. I know, but pop another one in my mouth. Now you're at 8,000 Scovilles. Now you're at a level with the noodle we just had. I know, but pop another one in my mouth. Now you're at 8,000 Scovilles. Now you're at a level with the noodle we just had. Pop it in my mouth. 12,000 Scovilles.

Let's start again. Yeah, let's start again. Let's just get straight to it. Yeah, get straight to it. Fucking hell, mate. Right, okay. Clap your hands. Stamp your feet.

Banging on a big bass drum. What a picture. What a picture. I don't want to leave that bit in. Live it in your family. Stamp your feet. Banging on a big bass drum. What a picture. What a picture. I don't want to leave that bit in. Bum, bum, bum, bum. Live it in your family. Album. Updilly, bumdilly, umpodum.

Updilly, umpally, umpodum. I have got a Norman. He lives in my flat. He comes out. He goes around. And that is that. You're awful. You are continuously.

He paints a flag on his chest and says, that's my bum. And do you know something? Norman's my mum. Oh, Norman. Oh, Norman. Come out of my flat. Oh, Norman. Oh, Norman.

How about that? You're awful. You're consistently... Oh, Norman. Oh, Norman. Oh, please do not go. Oh, Norman. He's in Iceland living in the snow.

And the musical will be out next year, just off the West End. Near the bins. Near the fucking bins. Yeah, Oh, Norman exclamation mark. Eli Silverman's Oh, Norman. I can't wait. It's a hit.

He's spicy old flag man. He's doing the old show for us tonight, ladies and gentlemen. Would you like your answer question? Shall we do this segment? Or should we just let Eli improvise the whole musical instead? What say you? I can hear you. Shout louder.

No, come on. They've said musical, Mr. Silverman. I'm going to sit back as Eli Silverman presents O'Norman. Here we go. Now, Paul, I'm sorry to disappoint everyone, but I've got big plans for O Norman okay so I don't want to just preview

just some things that are in all honesty just rough rough ideas at this present time rough sketches of things

I'm hoping will become showstoppers could you maybe I know you've been working on the ballad could you maybe just give us a bit of the ballad right now

yeah go for it just take it away it's a sort of spoken bit at the beginning before they go into the song there's a bit of strings going in

la la la la la la and it's his mum talking to Norman yeah and she goes la la la la la la la no you don't know the music okay

so just stop trying to do that alright oh Norman is your bath over is your bath over Norman that's his mum I don't know how to have a voice for her and he goes

this is our main character I already hate where this is going. I've dried out in the bath, mum. He says that. I've dried out. And then the ballad starts. Why is the ballad happening now?

And he goes, I was in school. They used to say to me, you must wash yourself, Norman McVie. That's his name, McVie. Norman McVie. I've got to got it in. And when you wash your parts in that old tub, there is a special place that you must... Sorry.

I can't go on. I can't. I can't go on. We can't do this, Eamon. We can't do that I'm backing out of the musical I'm withdrawing my funds let's do the actual segment

I would like my £10 back please let's do the actual segment right have a sip of this energy drink silver mint platter we're five minutes in what a waste of everyone's time

let's get on to it so we've got a theme this week that's the energy drink he's drunk to it. So we've got a theme this week. That's the energy drink he's drunk, and it is not good. It tastes like Lipovitan, but a nasty way. Lipovitan doesn't ring a bell. Do you remember Lipovitan? They were a short-lived British... They are a Japanese brand, I believe,

but Lipovitan was a short-lived competitor to Red Bull. I regret bringing this up. I don't care. Don't you remember? It was fiz fizzy and it was Lipovita. I vaguely, yeah. And it had cogs. Blue cogs was the sort of design. Oh. With a big L.

I don't remember it. Like health. I don't remember it. It's time for Silverman's Platter. It's time for Silverman's Platter. Yes. And this week we have a kind of theme in that the theme is kind of like music for children

or music by children. School music. School music. Yeah, School music. School music. Yeah, school music. Yeah. Which used to be a thing, more of a thing, obviously. Weirdly. But in a weird way where you go through all the effort

to make it, arrange it, produce it, put it onto a vinyl, publish it, release it. What? For what? Well, there's only one record that is really mysterious like that. Should we just get that one out of the way? It's the least interesting one. And it's the most recent of our three picks today.

Yes. Which is the Tannockside Primary School Band. And they have a seven-inch single, but it runs at 33. Is that unusual? Relatively. Why is that? Get more on the side? More on.

And they are interminably long, both sides of this record. Oh, boy. Let's play a little bit of it now. No, well, I just haven't told them what it is. Oh, yeah, go ahead. Side one, you have Alexander's ragtime band, Stroke the Entertainer. Yes.

Five minutes and 46 seconds. Ooh, that's poor. And what is actually a slightly better side, I'd say. Certainly more imaginative. Side two is their six-minute and 16-second version of the Chattanooga choo-choo. Ah, yes. Let's have, like, about 10 seconds.

No, we'll have a little bit. I always give a little bit, you know. So here's a little bit of that. Oh, Mahani, oh, Mahani Let your heart beat and let's meander Game's you're going, ain't you going to the leader man, bragging major man? Oh, honey, oh, honey, let me take you to Alexander's

Crack, crack, crack, crack. Ain't you coming along? Come on in here, come on in here, Alexander's Ragtime Band. Come on in here, come on in here, it's the best band in the land. They can play a vocal call like you've never heard before, so natural that you want to put on. So natural that you're one to put one That's just the bestest band for time Honey lamb, come on along Come on along

Do you know what's bad about it? It's so interminably fucking slow. Because I know they're kids, right? I get that. They're primary school kids doing a song and they do it okay. It's that tempo doesn't work with that material. Yeah, so it's kind of hard to get behind the entertainer

where it's like... It has to swing. It's got no swing. And those songs swing. Because Ragtime has that bounce. Has that jazz. Yes, you can slow it down, but it loses that elastic bounce.

I totally agree. That was the whole point. It's like zombie versions of these tunes, isn't it? It is Night of the Living Dead. Zombies are playing it. But Canuckside's primary school still exists. It exists just east of Glasgow. East of Glasgow.

Just east of Glasgow. And I don't know why they released that. It's this label Country House Records, which is a small label of the era. This is early 80s. It says 82. Which we're presuming was a Scottish-based label because a lot of the stuff

that they released had a similar theme in that it was folk music or it was rock and roll kind of yeah that kind of

Cliff Richard-y kind of rock and roll Brit rock Brit rock and roll yeah some weird bands you know it felt very very small label yeah

and a terrible terrible record why do you think they released it that's the question isn't it because was it to raise money for a charity?

Could have been to raise money for the school locally. Maybe. Was it to show off the fact that these kids are quite good with instruments? There must be some element of that. Or maybe sometimes with these stories, it's one inspiring teacher who thought, look, you know, who was the music teacher in that school and thought, this is amazing what I'm doing. And we're quite self-involved people, probablyists you know what i mean like the guy out of fucking

that drum fucking film or whatever a total cunt yeah total bullying cunt is it you think he worked them like a sweatshop yeah right and said and it's his probably his dream yeah you know to be a musician and this is his way he's living vicariously through this poor music class. Like he failed. He failed a big audition. He probably kept them in a hut for a week to record this. Like maybe they sound like zombies. They're tired.

He auditioned for yes. Didn't get in. Could be his best mate got in instead. That kind of thing. It's very bitter. Let's see who's involved with this. And here we go. Arranging conducted by Jay Cranston. Hartley.

Jay Cranston. Hartley. Jay Cranston. Okay. So if you are out there, Mr. Cranston, and you're not some kind of fucking monster, please get in touch. But it's interesting because, yeah, these get into the wild.

How did they get from Tannockside School to a podcast in 2022 in a charity shop? Well, I picked this up for a quid. It wasn't a charity shop buy. It was from Reckless Records. And you just thought it would be something interesting, and you turned out to be bitterly wrong. They've written on the label, one pound.

I wouldn't pay, obviously, if it was anything north of a pound. I'm not going for it. But, you know, I'm telling you, for the show. Could have had something on it. It could have. Like someone talking about something stupid or something. Well, that's where we get to our second record, I guess,

to be fair. Second record. A second record. In a very similar genre. We've dealt with that. I think there's enough there. Oh, yeah. It's fucking terrible. It's fine. In a very similar genre. We've dealt with that Tanic side, haven't we? I think there's enough there. Oh yeah, it's fucking terrible. It's fine.

Platter or Splatter? For sure a Splatter. A Splatter. Now this second record is a bit more juicy. A bit more. It's got a bit more to it, doesn't it?

It's the Hackney Accident Prevention Committee. That's the label. I love that label. They've released so many great songs. They've released one record and it is this.

Seven times. Yes. We'll get to that in a minute, I guess yeah and it says road safety campaign on it as well and on a side the green cross code song and it's by the children of argyle school in camden which is still there still there kicking and screaming now tell me where it is please paul in camden just tell me on your phone where it is please tell me on google maps where it is it please. It's in Camden. Tell me on Google Maps where it is. It's down there. I can't be arsed. It's down there. It doesn't matter.

The school still exists. It's still in the Camden region. The interesting thing is, it's a single of two very different sides. And we're going to play you, well, we can play most of side A, I guess, at this point. So let's just play that for you now. Hello, my name is Angela Wilson. I'm a school teacher. The school I teach at is in a very busy area, and the children have to cross very busy roads to get to school.

To help all children cross roads safely, the safety experts have invented a new crossing code. Perhaps you've already heard of it. It's called the Green Cross Code, and it goes like this. 1. First find a safe place to cross then stop to stand on the pavement near the curb three look all around for traffic and listen for if traffic is coming let it pass look all around again five when there is no traffic near, walk straight across the road. Six, keep looking and listening for traffic while you cross. At my school, the children sing a song to remind them that when they cross the road, they must always remember this. The green cross code, the green cross code.

The safety way to cross the road. On the way to school or on the way to play. All across the road, the green cross way. The green cross code, the Green Cross Code. Dumpty, dumpty, dumpty, I've got chins on my toes. My chins are out and they go crinkle crows. I am here with the Green Cross Code. Oh, look, it's another song from Eli's musical, O'Norman. This is the chorus.

You know, when everyone's on the street. It's the Green Cross Code. He lives in that era. It's the Green Cross Code. He lives in that era. It's the Green Cross Code. Our tips are out with frazzles stapled on our nips. And there's like a load of kids dancing behind you going, It's the Green Cross Code. The Green Cross Code.

It'd be good, wouldn't it? So that is the Green Cross Code. She's a very well-spoken teacher at the beginning. So before we go any further, right, we looked into the label, and the label is just that one. It's basically, what they did was they released this song six times. But for different schools.

But the A and B are exactly the same. All they've done is issue them to different schools in the area as part of, I imagine, a campaign. A different borough. This is the Hackney Accident Prevention Committee. It was like a Barking Road one or something, wasn't it? No, they're all boroughs, so they're not barking.ident Prevention Committee it was like a barking road one or something no they're all boroughs so they're not barking

they'd be barking yeah but not these are the new boroughs that was created in the mid 60s 66 yeah what year is this

does it say 1971 it says here all the versions are different boroughs 45cat.com yeah yeah so it says here they released it

six times for different boroughs different boroughs Oxford City of Oxford and also for the City of Oxford yeah Yeah, so it says here they released it six times for... Different boroughs. Different boroughs. Oxford, City of Oxford. Oh, and also for the City of Oxford. Yeah. Okay.

And that made... The record collector in me suddenly got a twinge on when you revealed that to me, because that means there are fucking different variants of this fucking record. But still the same record. How many are there? Six in total.

Six in total. But the Oxford one, I bet that's rare. Do you think? Yeah. How many are there? Six in total. Six in total. But the Oxford one, I bet that's rare. Do you think? Yeah. If anyone has found any of these, let's discuss this, you know what I'm saying?

No, don't discuss this. Come on. No, it's what a stupid point. You collect stupid things. I don't collect the same song six times because the sticker's different. Oh, I love it. That's just stupid. Different boroughs, mate.

Stupid oopies. It's different boroughs. So anyway, we get to side B now. And side B takes a hard left turn. Although it is still about being safe on the road as a pedestrian, isn't it? Basically. And also being a kid. So it's very much on message.

On the B side of this, we have a sort of folk-psych, a folk tune. Yeah. A folk-pop. Folk-pop tune. It's got a bit of the Everly Brothers in there. Do you know what I mean? That type of thing. Yeah, but it's also got a bit of, you know,

Donovan. Or Donovan, yeah. Which is a group called Magna Carta. Yes, and the song sounds like this. So boys and girls Come on and take a share. It's yours for free, providing you take care. When crossing roads, always stop and look both ways. Remember this every minute of every day

Put safety first when a roadway you are near And when you're young you can live life without fear When you're young When you're young It's weird. Have you played a bit at the end, I hope? Because there's some really fine sort of solo acoustic. Guitar work.

The acoustic guitar solo at the end is quite fine. Okay, well well I don't know what bit I've used. Maybe I've used that bit. Future Paul knows but past Paul he'd

know nothing. Why don't you play a bit from the beginning of it and then go skip to the end. Fuck off. You edit it. Jesus.

This has got a bit fractious. We were having a good time a minute ago weren't we? Yeah I was enjoying the musical and then we had to do this

fucking segment and I wanted to know all the songs. I wanted to know the villain of the piece. I can't tell you those songs. I wanted to know what the underlying social message was.

Eli Silverman's O'Norman is... Is coming out in 2024. Is my thing. Yeah, no, it's good. It's called Eli Silverman's O'Norman. Eli Silverman's O'Norman. Good. So I think that's not too bad As sort of Songs go

But what happened though? It was like They must have been friends with them Or asked by someone involved with it Because I looked up Magna Carta And they've released You know

A load of songs Between 1971 And round about early 80s But all singles All singles Are you sure? There's no listing of an album there Is there a best of even?

No It's on the different labels Over the course of like I don't know Six years or so I just don't understand what happened it was like yeah we got this we can make it big we need to get you a b-side that will sell it to the kids you know what what would the kids really like i don't know fucking poncy folk well this this what's the big it speaks to what we were talking about with the kids to saturday morning stuff i guess 71 is more appropriate like rainbow is associated with children do you see what i mean even though guess 71 is more appropriate like rainbow pop music is associated with children

do you see what I mean even though it's more adult some of the pop music that's around do you see what I mean rock and roll is put with the kids show

is put with the kids and I think they probably thought oh look they're in a group kids love that they love that sort of thing also there's the fact that the hippie movement

was kind of seeping into TV so that's why Rainbow all of this it's very redolent that's why Rainbow, All of this is very redolent. That's why I like this. Early Sesame Street. I like this record for that reason.

Her plummy voice is so early 70s kids TV. That teacher's voice. That middle class British. And our school, we heard this going on. Brilliant. Pit pop. I love it. And the kids all like,

And they're like, tink, they're little tinkers, aren't they? Well, you know, they're all just sitting there in their late grubby little faces. Oliver Twist,

get up. And then you've got this mad sort of like quite, it's quite spaced out folk sort of on the other side. It's, it's like drop a tab. Yeah. And like, let the world roll over.

Yeah. Yeah. It's all right. I would, I would put that as a, as a platter. It's a platter because it has so much of interest going on. It's a proper odd beast. Yeah. Yeah. It's all right. I would put that as a platter. It's a platter because it has so much

of interest going on. Yeah. It's a proper odd beast. Yes. And again, I would actually like to possess, for a reasonable price,

other copies from different boroughs and Oxford. Well, good luck to you. I hope you find them because I hope... And the early 80s version of Magna Carta's

When You're Young, which is the name of the song. Yes. Well, good luck to you because, you know, I want you to finally achieve something in your life, Eli, so why not that? You seem to have put yourself forward for it.

Listen, what is this section called? Just remind me of this, OK? It's called... Silverman's Platters is what it's fucking called. We both know that. It's originally called... Now, don't get shirty! Stop getting fucking shirty with me, OK?

I've had enough! We've got another record to go. Keep your interest up. I've lost it now. You've had enough. We've got another record to go. Keep your interest up. I've lost it now. You've ruined it. What are you going to do to perk me up? Do another song for Mo Norman. Please.

I've already smiled. No, I don't have any others. Give us the big villain song. Come on, the big bad guy. Who's the big bad guy? You can give us that. We all like a villain. A Moriarty, you know.

That's his boss. Oh. At the paperclip factory. Paper, oh, this is good. I like this. And his name is... What's his name? Mr. Cinderford.

Mr. Cinderford. All right, good. And what's his song? And if you imagine he has a sort of... Big desk. A bank of secretaries. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All typing.

Yeah. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you imagine, they've all got quite high voices. Mr. Cinder typing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you imagine, they've all got quite high voices. Mr. Cinderfoot. No. Yeah, go on. No, I'm doing the fucking big red bus.

I can't get the big red bus out of my head. All right, well, that's your problem. Mr. Cinderfoot, he comes around. But he's always wearing a frown. Mr. Cinderfoot, coming around. but he's always wearing a frown he's touching dog food they're coming all round he's wearing a frown

shut up I can't believe you're going to do this this is the best gift you could have given me now our third record Paul I hope that's pleased

your palate somewhat it has it's cheered me right up it's from an LP I've picked up not once but twice who knows and I would pick up other once, but twice. Who knows?

And I would pick up other copies of this because it's my fucking Holy Grail type stuff for me. Yeah. Which is a roundabout series, Come to a Party. And it's number two. So this is a series they did, Come to a Party. Yes. And it's a BBC record. Have you mentioned that? Have you seen other ones?

It's BBC. No, I've actually not. Where did you find it? In two separate charity shops. There was the one in Barnet, High Barnet. Right. And the one in, do you remember when we did the Dangerous Davies episode? Oh, yeah, yeah, that charity shop there.

Oh, yeah. What's it say on the front? George Snell, something like that. Gordon Snell. Gordon Snell. Introduces party games, tongue twisters, stories and tunes for musical games. And that's it. It's a movement and music album for kids.

Basically, similar to that. And it has the really special thing about this record for me. Yeah. If I saw any record of this ilk at all, any educational for schools BBC record, I'm literally, I'll pay my money. All right, yeah. Because I love this.

Yeah. The special joy of this is that it does feature the BBC Radiophonic workshop. Oh, it does. It says it on the back. So you saw that. I saw that. I said, I'm... I'm having this.

I'm not even going to put it to the side. Like, put it down in case I get into one of those situations where someone goes, you know what I mean, grabs it and I go, no, actually, I had that. I'm having a shit in here, mate.

Yeah. I'm going to shit myself or, you know, I'm going to, like, you know, get my snail trail out of the front of my pants and glisten it in your eye

to blind you. You should have stopped about 30 seconds ago, mate. If you don't mind me saying. That could be a superhero. Snail trail blind amount. No, we're not. That's the fart. No, I'm putting a foot down.

Gordon's snail trail. Anyway. Gordon's snail trail. You can give him a voice that you've not done before. In the next 10 seconds, you can have him. I'm not having him.

I just want to get onto the record and finish this. Who's that, Gage? I'm not joining in either. Let's move on. Come to a Party is a record which is to help people who are running parties,

perhaps teachers, put a party on. So you put this on and it helps you to run a party for children. And so we have... Yeah, but it's... Yes and no.'s yes and no musical bumps these are just games games for children yeah musical bumps then we have musical mats islands balloon and parcel so they're lumping a load of different games you can play yeah together a lot of the games have that format don't they yeah simple

games simon says type stuff or pass the parcel moving statues those ones they've lumped all together musical mats islands balloon and parcel right those all do the same but i don't know what simple game, Simon Says type stuff or Pass the Parcel, Moving Statues. No, but all of those ones they've lumped all together. Musical Mats, Islands, Balloon and Parcel. Right. Those all do the same, it's all the same thing. But I don't know what they,

they are different. They're all just basically variations on Pass the Parcel. Games where you have to stop what you're doing when the music stops. Musical Chairs is another one. Musical Statues.

You play all of that, all of them with this. Yeah. And they've chosen the Radiophonic Workshop to do those bits of music that start and stop in the in the bit that you're just this one part of the album though isn't it that's the strange one band on the album yeah and that makes it interesting if you like you do like

the work that they put out is that you're not going to find that on the compilations of radiophonic that's what i love i love about all of this and that music movement and music yeah um lp that i've got the other one only has like a part of one side of the LP, which is all these little radio-phonic workshop bits. Electronic music. I'll tell you what, there's quite a few clips that they use in this, so I'm going to pair out the best and play them right now. Are you ready for another game? We've got some more stopping and starting music for you. It's a rather different kind of music this time.

So if you're ready, here we go. That's the second time. I love you. I'm going to the bathroom. Now here comes O'Grady with a game called O'Grady Says. I'm going to tell you to do things like putting your hand up or turning round or sitting down, but remember, you only do it if O'Grady says so. So if I say... I think we mentioned this when we listened to it, but that little... The little bass?

Yeah, that bass was really... Someone should sample that and rip it. I love that stuff. That early Moog. It's pre-synthesiser, synthesiser music. And it has a little description here on the back, Paul. Ah, that's what I want to get. Radio Brighton.

I see. That's what I wanted to talk about specifically you read it out, this is interesting to me as well Paul, so put the lights back on so you can see I'll put both on, right so the idea is that this album isn't just a bunch of things made for an album

it's taken from live radio broadcasts and they've been arranged for this LP so what happened is, Radio Brighton, it says on the back here, is that, effectively to boil this all down,

is that they used to have kids programming at the weekends that they would put out early morning and it was this content of like... For schools? No, not specifically for schools. Literally for like...

Kids at home? BBC Radio Brighton's early morning show for kids and the show was basically like that man going, all right, everyone, stand around, we're going to play Pass the Pass. Okay, so it was like party radio for kids yeah so you

could listen in and it would go from school to school every week in the local area and do the show broadcast from the school i think so or there'd be bits of it from the school so it's either pre-recorded and put out as live or it was live and it probably goes into a bit of detail here but it talks about how they had to have educational content for their station, their local BBC station and this covered that as well as making and it was hugely popular apparently Amazing though, that level of interaction between the local community

and the broadcasters, do you know what I mean? The way that's integrated you just don't see that level of public service from the BBC now or anything like it It's because it's mostly moved up onto like, you know,

network channels, CBBs, Nickelodeon. I know, but it's not the same. No. The vibe I get from reading that blurb on the back is kind of...

Well, it's because back... When was this released? It's a different world of sort of the way the media was kind of interacting with education and the locals. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. When did this come out, does it say? I have to have a look. 67? 69. So children's listening habits were much more, you know, were much more understandable for the radio.

Like it says here, just before I give it back to you, sorry. It says it was a radio programme station and it was called Let's Listen, aimed at five and six-year-olds in school and had the opportunity to write for the programme and hear themselves on air. So there's all these things where kids were getting involved with making the radio show.

Getting on air and making the radio. That's what I mean. And that's sort of like, that doesn't really go on anymore. I mean, the whole media, you could make a YouTube video now, wouldn't you, in the school? Yeah, pretty much. But this is what this service was, though.

It was a part of the radio dedicated to letting kids come on and play games or write a bit of content. And there's all sorts going though. It was a part of the radio dedicated to letting kids come on and play games or write a bit of content and there's all sorts going on. Just through the format of how people, the radio, there's something magic about radio

as a medium. Do you know what I mean? There's something, there's something about that interaction. It's lost that connection. It's lost the magic. Yeah. And that connection

across the airwaves there. I know I'm grasping, but you know what I'm getting at. No, but I couldn't pitch to BBC Radio London or Brighton or Merseyside or Three Counties a radio show in the morning from nine o'clock till, I don't know, ten

of playing with kids and doing games and telling stories. I don't think you could fly. But it's because they were a public service. It's part of their... It was part of their educational remit. Yeah, the remit of what they were required to do. Do you see what I mean?

And it's that kind of depth of sort of what they would have to do that kind of that thought that's gone into what the bbc has to actually do it has to do with education i love all that stuff entertainment and it's like i love that open university stuff from the bbc it's lost to that era but that's fine because again i'm really nostalgic because it's a time when my youngest 75 must have been the peak of that BBC stuff. Before it became much more TV focused so you had things like Play School and all that stuff creeping in.

It makes me nostalgic for a world that is no longer there, Paul. And that's why it's become a major theme in your musical O'Norman because that's set in the 70s, isn't it? I'm not doing anything. Isn't there a song in there called We Won't Join the EU

or something like that? Paul, no. We're not talking about that. Paul, will you take a photo so our listeners can read? So our listeners can read the blurb on the back. I will take a picture of that, yes.

And so you can read the whole blurb on the back about Radio Brighton and its services to educational shows for children. Okay. And now I get read the whole blurb on the back about Radio Brighton and its services to educational shows for children. Okay. And now I get to write a song for O'Norman. And I'm looking forward to bringing it to you. I'll be the arbiter of this.

I've written this song. It's my musical, yeah. This is a nice rousing song to get the audience stamping and cheering. Yes, but what's it about in our character's life? In this moment of the show, Norman, he's on, you know, he's rags to riches story.

I understand that. He's not rags to riches story. Riches to rags story. He lives with his mum in the bath story. Yeah, but right. He goes to... And he works in the paperclip factory. But he's very poor,

so he goes to buy his mother a nice present from the old market. And he doesn't know where he's going, so he's looking around the market for the perfect present. And that's when the market starts to come to life because they're all barrowmen and things, you know? So...

Take it away. Here we go. It goes. So Norman goes in. Oh, I don't think I'll ever... I don't think I'll ever find something in a market this big. Come over here, boy. All right, then.

That's the piano. When you think you're out of luck, come down the market, son. I've got something for you, boy. It will bring you fun. Come with me, the marketplace. We've got so many treats. Do you want some gold, my boy? Or some tasty sweets?

A-dum-ba-dum-ba-dum-ba-dee-bum-ba-bum Shut up, it's my song! Bom-bom-bom-ba-ba-ba-bom-bom-bom Bom-ba-bom, I've got tasty sweets I've got tasty sweets You can suck them, you can lick them, you can chew Bom-bom, I've got tasty treats Oi, I've got tasty treats And Oi. Oh, I've got tasty treats.

And they calm out my big old flappy bum. Shut up. It always turns to shit or sex with you. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. And the next one. Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum. Can we have a tumble? I so drinks lovely drinks and all.

You can just drink one or you can drink them all. Oh, they're full of mystery stuff I will not please reveal but if you want to know the truth I won't reveal it all you're just doing Roger Ramjet oh you're drinking my piss oh you're drinking my piss you won't

understand the lovely load of bliss that you get from drinking my you're already infectionised pee pee in my mouth can we shut up please stop it I like selling dead pets

and I sell them by the pound and I pick them up and then they have been squished into the ground and then I put them in the grinder turn them into chops and you will eat the bloody lot Oh, oh, oh Pets have turned to chops

I've turned the pets to chops Yum, yum, yum, yum, yum, yum I've turned the pets to chops Pet eating, nice. Please stop. Anyway, that's my pitch. What do you think? It was alright.

I think what it needs is we could use We've got this guy, Tumpy Yeah. Who works on TV Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've heard of Tumpy, yeah. We have him come in and just go Oh, we'd read use... We've got this guy, Tumpy, who works on TV. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard of Tumpy, yeah. Can we have him come in and just go, Hello, I am Tumpy, and I can sell a dog. I'll sell a dog.

I'll sell a dog to your mum. And your mum, I am Pumpy Pumpy, and I do sell a dog. I'm sorry. I've just had an out-of-podcast experience and I now have to end this segment because I'm deeply embarrassed

for you and for me. So let's just end this show right now. Yeah, please, please. Bye-bye. Bye. And that's the end of Cheap Show this

week. For all of your Cheap Show concerns, oh, Eli's gone. He's gone to cough in the corner. You come back. I just want to cough in the corner. You come back. I just want to say sorry about that.

Understood and accepted. So, yeah, if you want your one-stop shop for all things cheap show, which is links to merch, the Patreon page, the videos we put out, links to episodes that have their own pictures

and videos for each episode, if and when applicable. Lots of pictures this week. Yeah, you can go to... What records? The back of that record. And the noodles. Don't this week. Yeah, you can go to... The records, the back of that record, and the noodles. Don't forget the noodles.

And you can go to thecheapshow.co.uk for that. The PO box address is also there as well. In fact, all this information is in the metadata for this episode. Is it all in the metadata? In your podcast app of choice. Is it in the metadata? In the podcast app?

There you go. In the metadata? Thank you to all our patrons who help support this podcast. We really do appreciate your time. Love it. And thank you. Patreon.com forward slash cheap show and there are magazines

and podcasts. Your time, did you say? Yeah, I didn't know why I said time. Yeah, that wasn't good. Your money. Well, yeah. It's the money that helps. Yeah, your contributions to this daft,

bloody, stupid podcast. This is probably one of the dumbest ones we've done in a while. It probably is. But come on, we enjoyed it. Yeah, we did have a good laugh this week. So there you go. Every now and then, we're just a little bit indulgent with what we want to do.

Every now and then. Every week. Every other week. Yeah. So there we go. We hope you've had fun having a laugh, you know, when you're at work and you're laughing because Eli says dong or something like that. I did say dong at the end, though.

Yeah, you did. Dongers. Have you noticed that's all that Tumpy ever does? He brings up dongers. That's his only thing. It's his main thing. It's his main thing. My Twitter handle. Oh yeah, at thecheapshowpod, I'm at paulgannonshow and Eli is. Eli Snoidy, L-I-S-N-O-I-D

is the spelling of that. And I think that's it, isn't it? Yes. Yeah, thanks, mate. Bye, everyone. That's it. I got no witty ending to it.

Thanks for listening. Except I do. This has all been the cold open. Oh! Did it, did it, did it. I'm going to press it. All right, I'll stop it now. Fucking hell.

Right, I forgot. This is a Brucey bonus for Eli. What? I got you something as a little present. I saw it in the charity shop and I thought, oh, you like that. Well, let's see. Yeah?

So this is for you. I appreciate it, Paul. Thanks. Thanks. Russell in me pocket. Russell, Russell. Russell, Russell. Here we go. Close your eyes. No, I'm not going to do anything. Stay here. There you go. Give me it. Right. Oh, it's a pack of cards. It's a pack of cards. Oh, it's a cassette pack of cards. Yeah, it's in a little old cassette box. But it's a specially thick one. Yeah. It's like a customised...

Thanks very much, Paul. I like this. Look at the front of it. Look at the front design. Yeah, I see. The front is a mixed tape, and it says mixed deck. Yeah. Love these. Thanks very much. But look at the front,

look at the actual design. Like they've been scribbled on with a biro. Yes, with a biro. It's all... All the suits and the numbers have been as if scribbled with biro. I had to snatch it up for him, and I thought I'd give it to him.

That's extremely lovely and it will go right into my collection. Thanks very much, Paul. How much did you pay for that? A quid? A quid on the nose. I would have got two betwings. You would have got two betwings.

There you go. I'll give you a betwing-betwing. Photos of that as well then? Yeah. Oh yeah, I'll do that. So, alright, good. This is extra, extra on top of the extra. then. Yeah. Oh yeah, I'll have to do that. So, all right, good. This is extra, extra on top of the extra.

Extra, extra, extra. Stop it. You stop it. Hello, hello, sexy Paul. I'm just a sexy Paul again. Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho. Such a sexy boy. He's such a sexy boy.

I'm sexy boy Paul Gannon and I'm here for you. Ho, ho, ho, ho. I am sexy, so sexy you don't know. And I'm sexy from the bottom to my toes. Just the bottom half. Oh, I'm sexy, so sexy. I want you to feel my sexy. On your sexy, my sexy you.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I'm just sexy boy from the land of sexy toys. And I'm going to make sweet love to you. Oh, oh, oh, oh, sexy sexy sexy is Paul Gannon sexy Paul Gannon that's for for you oh oh oh sexy sexy time I'm sexy all the time. I'm sexy sexy Paul Gannon time. Oh oh oh oh. Sexy sexy Paul.

Sexy. I'm just riffing. Oh oh oh sexy Paul. I'm just your sexy Paul. Sexy Paul. I'm just your sexy Paul. Oh, sexy Paul. Stick this shit at the end.