CheapShow - Ep 362: Fluid Beef

Episode Date: December 8, 2023

As 2023 winds down, Paul and Eli are coming apart at the seams. Can they mentally make it over the New Year finish line? Judging by this week’s episode, it’s going to be touch and go. It’s apparent from the start that Paul is in full chaotic evil mode and that going to make life difficult for Eli. Eli doesn’t make it easy for himself either, by being overly honest about something we’d all rather move on from talking about. Obviously, Paul is going to exploit that to extreme lengths. There is a PO Box sourced Price of Right to explore but Paul has slipped in a ringer. However, because he can’t win any points this episode, Paul is going to out of his way to make sure Eli doesn’t. Finally, Gannon’s Golden Games unearths a “party game” called F* That, which is exactly what they think after playing it. It’s a fiery episode of CheapShow to warm your cockles! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-362-fluid-beef And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! And you can order his book “The Dreams We Had As Children” from here: https://benbaker.company.site/ MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Take 72. Eli, please present me with a cold open. Okay. Oh, mummy. What am I meant to do? Be entertaining and welcome the listeners. I don't like this. I don't like it.

We're going in the deep end and it's hard. It's hard for me. I've actually had quite a difficult, quite a boozy weekend. Oh, no. This never happens on a almost weekly fucking basis

with you. This is... Why don't you just not drink? Are you not strong enough? Is that what it is? You're not strong enough. We're not going there, Paul.

You're a weak-minded man. We're not going there. Why don't you just not... The social anxiety pressures force you to drink. Why don't you just not smoke? Or eat? Why don't you just not eat?

Fucking take away coffee lids bit by bit. Why don't you just not do that? That can't be good for you. Why don't you just not smoke? Why don't you just... Or eat. Why don't you just not eat? Fucking take away coffee lids. Bit by bit. Why don't you just not do that? That can't be good for you. Why don't you just not do that? Why don't you clean your room up and solve your mental... Oh, who are you fucking...

This podcast is over. Jordan Peterson. Over. Clean up my room. Over. You're going to tell me what? To fulfil a traditional male role in a second? If I was Andrew Tate,

oh, I'd be cross. For no fucking reason. I was Andrew Tate, oh, I'd be cross for no fucking reason. I am cleaning my room. It's a work in progress, I like to say. Is it? Yes. A pickle work in progress.

Yeah. Scrub off the pickle juice. Right, well, he's gone, so let's just go straight into the credits. Do I have trouble? No, just ask me one question. All right.

Do you have, Mr. Silverman, do you have... Graffle truffles. Wait. I haven't finished the question. Sorry, sorry. Eli. Yes.

Jay Simpson. That's me. Do you have any scruffle truffles? Oh, yeah, I do. Right. Welcome to the Chiefs show. Press the fucking credits.

Sources and words and phrases. Two things I'm responsible for. Chodney, Chodney Borough. I hate you. I've got to go to the hospital. Hossy. Jeep Show to the mind. Jeep Show to the man I like. Rock, rock.

Cheap Show to the man I like. It's the price of shite. Cheap Show to the man I like. Welcome to Cheap Show. You can rock it, you can knock it, you can go to Timbuktu, but you'll never find a Nessie in a zoo. Hello, welcome to Cheap Show, the nostalgia podcast that likes to remind you of things from the past that you might not remember, but you might remember.

And we're here to talk about what you may or may not remember. Did you know? Do you remember Rent-A-Ghost, Eli? Do you know there was a brand of crisps? Yes, I do remember Rent-A-Ghost. Yes, let's put that aside. In the box. There was a poo-flavoured walkers in 82 for three months.

Yes, there was. I found out. Was there? Yeah. Have you got one of... Shittums, they called it. You know what? You're right.

Crunchy Shittums. I've got an open packet of poo walkers right here. Crunchy Shittums. That I bought on eBay for £174. Do you know they actually had a... Also, they had a brand of KP crisps, like corn puffs, that were white dog poos.

Eli, do you remember... Remember we used to be funny? Do you remember Metal Mickey? Do you remember Metal Mickey? Hey, do you remember Metal Mickey? Yeah, was there a shit Mickey as well, made of poo? If all you've got today, mate, is...

Is things made of poo. Yeah, we're stuck. This is... I mean, look, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls of all ages... Why do you say boys and girls like that? Why do you say it always? Why do you always say it? I think I'm being ironic, but actually I've done it so many times, it's not anymore.

It's become just this verbal tick of yours. But I just don't like saying, hey, guys. What's wrong with that? It's weird. I don't like it. Guys? I don't like it. Paul.

Hello, folk. Paul. Welcome to Cheap Show, the economy comedy podcast where sometimes we get to the point. And this is a show where we go through the bargain bins and charity shops and pound lands of Great Britain and blah, blah, blah. And Paul's mentally given up this week. You so have. You so have.

Mate, they can't all be winners. We go to shops and stuff. Right? That's enough of that. What? Right at the back? You literally did that. You literally went,

all right, and put it in the air. I say all right. What? I'm sorry. All right at the back? That's one of my verbal bads. Yeah? Do you also do piss poor impressions

of John Cleese as well while you're at it? Do I? Right? I'm off. That was good. I like that. That's all right um but that was although

you do look like if you'd cross basil faulty with manuel literally if you put the two of them together you'd get you no mr faulty do you remember faulty towers i do remember faulty towers apparently it's the best sitcom ever made only 12 episodes i know that's what they say is if you want to make the best sitcom ever you only make 12 episodes. I know, that's what they say, isn't it? If you want to make the best sitcom ever, you only make 12 episodes. Young Ones, The Office. Did they only make 12? Yeah, they only made 12 of The Young Ones. The Office was longer than that.

No, the original Office was two six-episode seasons and then a Christmas special, wasn't it? Well, that's 13 episodes. That's why The Office is fucking shit. Anyway, I've got something to say. Do you remember? What's coming up on the show? Do you remember Alfonso Bonzo?

No, I don't. I don't remember that. It was a kids' TV show. Let me tell you all about Alfonso Bonzo. Was it made by the same people who did Mr. Ben? No, because it was a live-action kids' drama thing. With Ali Bongo? No.

Ali Bongo has nothing to do with Alfonso Bonzo. Similar name. Bonzo Bongo, stick it up, you can't go. Hello, I'm Manfredo Banana. I'm Keflaffel de Boff Boff. I'm Keflaffel de Kefunkel de Boff Boff. Hello, welcome into my house. I am Keflaffel de Boff Boff.

I'm Bingo Bango Banjo Badoingo. Count of all snood them. Smooth my bum, I'm badango man. Right, was there anything we wanted to use this part of the show for? I wanted to ask you something. Yes. Okay, can I? Yes.

What have we got coming up on the show today, Paul? We've got coming up on the show a prize of shite given to us by a P.O. box delivery. Exciting. However, there's a bit of a twist, and we'll get to that twist when we get to the game. There's a twist. And then there's a Ganon Golden Game, Stroke Paul's Pleasant Pastimes, where we're going to be playing a game

I found in a charity shop today to wrap this little cheeky bugger right up. We like to do that, don't we? We like to wrap our little buggers up, put them on a shelf, and say, little labels, Bugger 1, Bugger 2, Bugger 3, Bugger one. Bugger two.

Bugger three. Bugger four. Bugger bank holiday. I can't impress upon the listener how nothing we've got this week. No. The year is wrapping up and I think mentally we're checking out. Well, I've asked you the question about what we have coming up. So they've got that to look forward to.

Didn't we say before we restarted, there was something we were going to talk about in the bit before. I need to say something. Following on from last week. Eli has a statement he would like to make an official statement on behalf of Cheap Show Inc and so I'm just going to

step back now and leave it with Eli to make his statement please continue thank you now we are fans of anti-comedy here and in

and uncle comedy in the you said you weren't going to interject who's that You said you weren't going to interject. Who's that? Right, I am the interjector. Oh, God. Are you going to do it every time I start speaking now?

Maybe. No, don't! Please, because this is good. All right, I have to get this out of here. Interjector, go over there. I interject. This is serious and I have to get it out. Go on.

We're fans of anti-comedy. In anti-comedy that we enjoy, sometimes the line blurs between what is the real person, the comedian, yeah, in their everyday life, their private life, their everyday private life, and what is the persona. And sometimes that persona has the same name as the real person paul and that's that's the that's the genre that's the oeuvre of cheap show that's what we work with and a lot of people are saying that i actually shat myself during the

live show and you said it and it's not true obviously it's not true i'm working on a different level where i'm faking stuff people say they can see the moment where you know i shat myself it's not true obviously it's not true i'm working on a different level where i'm faking stuff people say they can see the moment where you know i shat myself it's just and i want you to to help me here paul by explaining to everyone that was this was a bit that we planned and i pretended to shit myself and pretended not to tell anyone then told someone and then you know it was something we did on stage we discussed it with biffo and sanya before i would leave and that's when i was actually preparing another bit of the of the script and looking at something doing some backstage stage management stuff

they're not actually wiping liquid fecal from the gusset of my uh no i can actually no i would like to step in at this point and confirm that, yes, the Eli shitting his pants on stage moment of the Cheap Show live event was forgery. It was not correct. I'm a trained actor. I'm a method. You know, I can do method stuff, obviously.

I wouldn't go that far, so just understand. It's really important to realise that Eli Silverman, the real Eli Silverman, would never really shit himself on stage. It's more important to realise that Eli Silverman, the real Eli Silverman, would never really shit himself on stage. It's more important to believe that the real Silverman would on a friend's couch for Christmas.

Oh, Paul. That laugh. That's all. That's evil. That's an evil laugh. Anyway, it's all, you never know what's real. I know what's real. I was fucking watching it for three days to get it out. You never know what's real.

Move on with the show. On with the show. You never know what's real. I didn't shit myself. I'm an actor. Thank you, everybody. You're a fucking's real. I didn't shit myself. I'm an actor. Thank you, everybody. Yeah, fucking method actor. Yeah.

I had to drink seven Negronis the night before. Fucking brown method actor. Right, anyway. We're moving on. Let's get this show up. You liked that, didn't you? You enjoyed that, didn't you? I'm woofing me step now, mate.

I'm back in. Gannon's put his chips on the table. I'm never going to. He's been dealt in. The cheap show poker game begins thus I could just do a traditional jingle I was thinking we'd just keep it simple this week just keep a traditional simple Price of Shite theme

Eli I would like you to begin the reverie Oh it's the fucking Price of Sh, it's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. It's the fucking price of shite. Oh, it's the fucking price of shite. It's not real, everyone. Shut up!

And that shite running down his legs. There was no running down. No one spotted anything. Apart from you. They saw my acting. The only thing that was spotted was the fabric of your underpants. Brown spots of faecal digestion.

Listen, of course, yes. Yes. Was your favourite show when you were a kid, Spray Away? Is that another fucking show that they only showed in your corner of the fucking North East? Spray bus. I'm just using the word play in spray, mate.

It's the northwest, wasn't it? Right. Game time. Okay. No, it's game first, is it? No, it's price of shite, mate. Straight into it. That's what I'm saying.

Game time. Who sent us this price of shite? I'm going to tell you in a minute, but I do want to bring up... Should I just explain to everyone? Yes, please do, because we're going to play... You explain the rules,

but then I'll add it at the end what the twist is that I've added. Okay. So apart from that twist we're playing the standard rules. Standard. Okay, but it's just this time

it'll be just me playing the Price is Right, right? Just you because unfortunately the answers were front and centre on the letter that was given to me

for this item so I took it in. As I say every time there's nothing sweeter than a between that no one else can win. And that's true.

It is enclosed within my silken wings. It ruins my stats. My membranous silken golden wings. every time there's nothing sweeter than a between that no one else can win and that's true it is enclosed within my silken wings it ruins my stats my membranous silken golden wings yeah enfold the between

mate do you want to tell the rules or do you want to go on about your wings again because that's old shit I like my wings yeah but it's played out in it

you could lube up the wings I'm not going to lube up anything mate you could raise my wings up up to heaven I am not going to slap where are you between where the twings are there you are the wind beneath my between yes um i think we've done

that before maybe um did you ever know that i'm quite lonely now the game of price of shite everyone is where it's a price guessing game uh there are how many items in this today there are six items in this price of shites we need to get through whoosh whoosh quite quickly okay i'll uh i'll be quick here so please i will see each item and then i'll guess its price sometimes they give a a total spent we do have a window this time we've got a window so we've got in between two prices yes right we have a window this time. We've got a window, so we've got in between two prices. Yes. Right. We have a window this time,

so I'll know sort of the general area of the amount of money that was spent overall on all six items. Each item, I will guess the price. If I guess the price exactly on the nose, I'll get two Petwings, which we call points in this game. And we love them.

We love the Petwings, Silken Wings, etc. Membranous, lube them up. All right, come on you you're doing well and also if i guess and it's 25p either above or below the actual price paid for the item i will get one point one between everything to play for and that's that however there's a little twist little turd in the in the hay market but before we get to that twist that turd in the hay market

whatever you never heard that expression no it doesn't come up very often is that something that But before we get to that twist, that turd in the hay market, whatever. You never heard that expression? No, it doesn't come up very often. Is that something that you do in your little area of town? Is it your little hamlet of existence? Eli Town, they call it. Is it? Yeah.

Now, I believe it's been demolished and put up a parking lot. Right. I want to add something. Basically, this item was sent in to us by Ash in our P.O. Box. If you want to send something to us, the information is in the metadata for this podcast on your app player, but it is P.O. Box 1309 Harrow HA19QJ. That's Cheap Show P.O. Box 1309 Harrow HA19QJ.

And you can send lovely stuff for us to play with, put in our mouths, or maybe... Our buttholes. Me bumhole. Our bumholes. Have you put any of these items in your bumhole, Paul? Well, one of them. And you'll know which one when you...

Oh, is that the twist? No. Oh, it is a turn in the hay market. It's not, it's not. Oh, that would be a good one, wouldn't it? The twist is you have to guess which one of these I stuck up my arse. No. I want to get there.

Come on, Chief Show's going to get there eventually, isn't it? Ash sent a letter. Thanks, Ash, for sending it in, by the way. Hello, it's been a while since I sent you

a fresh batch of shite for you, but these are from the usual places in Nottingham. Some extra unusual stuff this time. Thank you again

for all the hours of entertainment you give every month. Thank you, Ash. Thank you, Ash. And Eli, yes, I will start by saying the window

that you're going to be playing with today. Not going to be lower prices, I feel, than London. Yes. No, definitely so. The window here

is between £6 and £9. All right. All right. But here is the twist. Oh! Here's the twist. Oh, it really got to you.

Yeah! You sure it's not butt-related? No, not yet. You seem to have electrodes in your... I'll tell you what, we can twist it. Which one of these will I stick up my arse at the end of the show?

However, one of these items that he sent was unfortunately something we had covered before. It was a board game. It was Storage Wars, right? Oh, we played that. It wasn't very good, was it? Years ago. No, it was good. We actually had fun playing that.

It was surprisingly decent based on a reasonably good idea. But anyway, the point is we'd covered that. We'd done that. So I thought, you know what I'll do? I'm going to swap it out for a ringer. So I bought something from a charity shop, and it's one of these items on this selection. Can I ask which area of London or what brand of charity shop, perhaps,

yours was from? It was a North London hospice bought today on the way in. Oh, around here? Yeah. Was it the wood green one or was it the... It was the Turnpike Lane adjacent shop. I love that shop. I got you that board game the other day.

Yeah, because we're going to bring a guest in for that one. A returning guest for that one. I'll do a little clue though. Yeah. Yeah. Right up my arse. Right. So, he has sent six items,

but I have swapped one out for an item of my own. So, you have to guess which one I've swapped out. Right. My question was... And you will get

five betwings. Yeah. So, on that item, if I got it on the nose, I get the two betwings. Yeah. And then if I got

extra five betwings, I get seven betwings. So, theoretically, you can get two, four, you get ten betwings up for grabs today with an extra five. 12. Oh, yeah, six items. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sorry. So 12 points just flat out and an extra five, meaning 17 altogether. That's big money, money talk here. Guys, I'm just going to a little management of your expectations. I will not be scoring the maximum 17. It's unheard of. There's no way. I will cheat and make sure that isn't going to happen.

Oh. Shall we begin the games? You wouldn't do that to me, would you? No, I wouldn't do that. I'm not a man like that. I wouldn't do that to you. Okay, Paul. I wouldn't...

I believe you. I wouldn't put you down like that. I wouldn't put you down like that. Right, should we play this fucking game? I'm ready for my first item. Let's bring it on. Okay. I want to get the kind of... There's some weird stuff here,

but I want to get the crappy stuff out of the way. The stuff I'm not that interested in. Okay. Less interesting stuff first, Jess Paul. Right. This is the first item. And what he calls it in this... Well, so this isn't your item then.

Oh, shit, I shouldn't have given that away. Maybe I am. Maybe I am giving it away. Or maybe you get this freebie. But this is something to do with a flood. And it's a newspaper pullout to celebrate the history of a flood. The Great Flood, November 2000, it says. Nottingham Even Post Special Supplement, Monday, November 13, 2000.

So there must have been a big flood in Nottingham. But Post special supplement Monday, November the 13th, 2000. So there must have been a big flood in Nottingham. But what? The day before then. Why would you release a commemorative magazine newspaper? Because it was like, oh, you remember the flood? Do you remember the flood? Do you remember Cracker Jack? Yeah.

Do you remember Ghost Watch? Do you remember that flood? We lost all our property. Do you remember the Tomorrow People? My husband drowned or something. Oh, it's a year anniversary of when your husband drowned. Oh, it's in the newspaper. Your husband's corpse floating face down.

I do not recall this flood, but again, I didn't live in Nottingham 23 years ago. The November 2000 deluge and how it compares to the Great Flood of 1947. So it's also about the flood in Nottingham. Maybe just don't live in Nottingham when it's wet. It must be susceptible to flooding. Must be. It's reasonably inland, right, Nottingham. Maybe just don't live in Nottingham when it's wet. It must be susceptible to flooding, Nottingham. Must be. It's reasonably inland, right, Nottingham? I don't know.

Well, it's like not... Yeah, it is, isn't it? It must have a river that floods. Well, yeah. Or if it's in a basin and it rains. Holding back the forces of nature, but only just. Yeah, it's a river, look. Yeah.

Quite impressive photos in there. I mean, it's just a strange thing to commemorate. And not only commemorate, but then save for years and donate to a charity shop. Well, it's a big cash-in as well, because here it says, order your own copies of the photographs. Oh, I love that photograph of a dog struggling to swim in the fucking water. These are sort of aerial shots of landscape underwater. I love that family crying in a dinghy.

There's such a cash-in, isn't it? You're literally saying, why would you? Because it's a big deal. I wonder what the take-up of that was. How many people ordered photographs? Oh, look, they've got a map. This is pretty cool. The map that shows what if.

No, what does that mean, what if? Does that mean what it'd say if the flood got worse? Well, this is colour-coded, yes. So I think the blue is the extent of the actual flood, but then these red areas are perhaps where it could have got to. What does it say in the first line of the article? This map shows what could happen if the River Trent, These red areas are perhaps where it could have got to. What does it say in the first line of the article? This map shows what could happen if the River Trent,

it's the River Trent, breaches its defences in Nottinghamshire. The blue area with the Trent running through it is the unprotected floodplain. The area affected as soon as the river breaks its banks. So that, yeah, I was right. That must be what's... What a strange thing to put in a newspaper as well. Here's what might happen if it gets worse.

They're quite interesting photos, it has to be said. But it's still a strange thing to put in a newspaper as well. Here's what might happen if it gets worse. They're quite interesting photos, it has to be said. But it's still a strange thing to keep, have for years and then donate to a charity shop on the off chance someone was like,

oh yeah, I remember that flood. Yeah, it's a disaster, right? So it can't have been that deadly or destructive. And it was a pullout from obviously a local paper.

And do you know what, Paul? I have a personal memory of being in Florida with my grandparents when I was really young, like four or five or something. And it flooded. Florida is at sea level. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Floods a lot. There's no basements in the state. So this would have been like 1967 or something with you. How far back are we talking here? When you were six or seven. So about 1960 something. Fucking shut up. Right.

Don't start this. No, but I was really young. And then this street flooded. And I went out and I was like swimming down the street, essentially. Really shut up. Right? Don't start this. No, but I was really young and then the street flooded and I went out and I was like swimming down the street essentially. Really? Was that deep?

Where did it come up to if you just walked and you walked into it? Because you're quite small. So you were six. I wasn't a particularly short child then. I'm a short man.

So it was about five or six inches then off the ground. Shut up! Wah-na-na-na-na-na. Pop. Right. Anyway, that was a memory I had

and I had a great time Because it was like The whole world was transformed Into this swimming pool essentially Yeah I didn't understand The sort of The more negative aspects

Of what was going on And I simply had fun It's a bit like when it snows People have fun They go up You know your dog goes out And says it's fucking great You could be freezing to death

Sorry mate The conversation police are here What do they want? They want you to shut the fuck up but you're fucking no they can fucking know you won't never take me alive how much i have a history personal history how much do you think this flood it's hard to know but i think it can't be more than 25p you want to go with 25 can we go back over this yes and i know for sure you wouldn't have bought that in a charity shop god no i mean maybe the purposes of of this game you wouldn't have bought that in a charity shop. God, no. I mean, maybe the purposes of this game, yeah, I would have bought it.

But it's a curio and a weird thing to exist and sell in a charity shop. It's in good condition after all these years. Yeah. Hasn't faded that much. Must have been in a drawer, I think. Well, let's move on from that now. Next is... I want to talk about that.

Boots thing. Oh. Say what you see. This is a fake envelope. Says Boots on it. Boots, the chemist in the UK, which what you see this is a fake envelope says boots on it boots the chemist in the uk which you know is a is a pharmacy it's like glossy card but it's made to look like a manila paper envelope and it has some fake handwritten address on the front which says pills powders and remedies posted blah blah it's a postcard set isn't it it looks like it it does indeed oh and they're all um vintage boots advertising things yeah sort of ye olde style turn of the century well 19th

century yeah blah blah blah yeah cards from boots blah blah blah blah blah now how much do you think that set cost not much to talk about have a look them? There's some fucking talc jars and some little girls. Fluid beef. Boot? Hang on, how can you just go blah blah blah when the first thing

is Boot's fluid beef? I didn't see that. It's got three little girls and they're holding tubs of whatever the fuck fluid beef is. It's like when you're

on stage mate at a gig. You know, it's like you're on stage and suddenly there's fluid beef on the stage. It wasn't beef. It was. It was a deep fucking lamb stage. It wasn't beef. It was. It was a deep fucking lamb stew.

It was stringy fernet. Pills, powders, remedies for invalids and tourists. What does that even mean? They used to give you beef as a beef stock. Yeah. As a restorative. It's similar to how, you know, in... But there's a difference between being an invalid and being a tourist.

Come to Britain. We have fluid beef. Right, next one. It's what like Marmite was in that. Marmite was meant to be a replacement for that fluid beef stuff, wasn't it? Yeah. Cod liver oil emulsion. A mother's recommendation at the age of four months.

He was a delicate puny child. The doctor ordered him cod liver oil emulsion. Is that up the bum then? No, it's just that you put it on a teaspoon puny child. The doctor ordered him cod liver oil emulsion. Is that up the bum then? No, it's just that you put it on a teaspoon and drink it. Why do you think you put cod liver oil up a baby's arse?

Because it emulsion. What do they call it up the arse? A suppository. And then it says 15 months old. Look at him. And there's a stout baby on the front cover.

He looks healthy. He's had a lot of cod liver oil. He looks a bit of a bruiser. He's like, oh, fuck it, have you. He looks like it's done its job too much. And then what's the last one? There's a woman and she's got a basket of a bruiser. He's like, oh, fuck it, have you? He looks like it's done its job too much. And then what's the last one?

There's a woman and she's got a basket of produce in her arm. And it says, mother always sends me to boots. And that's it. Oh, no, there's another one. For teeth like pearls, boots, pearl toothpaste. It's powder, isn't it? I don't know, but it's a kind of toothpaste. I don't know if it's powder.

Anyway, a Curio set. How much do you think? One pound, two pound, one pound, one pound. One pound. Right, next item. Item number three, Mr. Silverman. Oh, well, this is a little cigarette roller. Yeah, you don't see them very often these days.

Cigarette rollers do you? Oh, this is quite a nice one. It's a Rizzler branded one. Oh, it's got a nice... What has it got? It's got a nice solidity to it. Well, it's made of metal. It's one of those things where you put a paper in

and it sits in the cradle of the kind of little belt. And then what do you do? Well, then what happens is... You close it and you do that. No, no, no, calm down. Let me explain. Sorry, I'm not calm. It's a little kind of belt with a cradle

and you put the paper in, then a tobacco and you filter whatever and you press it down. As you roll the belt, it seals the paper and you lick it before it rolls itself up. How do I roll it though? You just literally roll the... I do that. That's what I thought. So you put it down. As you roll the belt, it seals the paper, and you lick it before it rolls itself up. How do I roll it, though? You just literally roll the... Like, literally...

I do that. That's what I thought, yeah. So you put it in, you press it down. Oh, I don't know how that hasn't worked. Right, so... So you put your paper in first. I'm imagining that.

Then you... When it's all in, you press it closed, and then you roll the top, and it kind of seals it. As the paper gets dragged in, you lick it before it disappears under the rolls,

and it seals. But, you know, it is what it is. It's a Rizzler brand cigarette roller. It looks new. Mint on card. It's all right. I mean, I don't know how old it is. But, you know, it is what it is. It's a Rizzler brand cigarette roller. Looks new. Mint on card. It's all right. I mean, I don't know how old it is.

Oh, no, it's got instructions on the back. Oh, yeah, go on. You put the tobacco in first, roll it, and then you feed the paper in. Oh, really? Oh, okay. Then I was wrong. I apologise.

We'll have a go on that later. Let's have a little go on that later. How much do you want the roller to be? Now, it says £2.75 on the box, but that's obviously not the right price. We bought secondhand, then we know for sure. I mean, compared to the price on the paper. I think £1.50.

Okay. And I'm going to say £1.50. That's what came to mind. All right. That would be a reasonable reduction. Is that a gut feeling, then? A gut feeling. Yeah, nice.

All right, okay. Let's move on to... I often have gut feelings when I'm performing, Paul. Yeah, I'm... I'm laying it out here. I'm... Right, moving on. Squ blah, blah, blah. Right, moving on.

Squirt feeling. Next one. This is a video cassette tape. VHS. Good, Nick. Solid. Solid as a rock. Doesn't look faded.

No. And do you know what the title is, Paul? Why don't you tell me? The best children's TV of the decade. Do you remember children's TV, Eli? Do you remember it? Do you remember Dog Tanyan in the Musker House? Oh, it's the white dog poo show. Do you remember Phileas Fogg's 80 Days Around the World, Eli? Do you remember children's TV, Eli? Do you remember it? Do you remember Dog Tanyan in the Musker House? It's the white dog poo show.

Do you remember Phileas Fogg's 80 Days Around the World, Eli? Do you remember Cities of Gold? Do you remember? It's the Chopper Bike Bumhole Show. So what is it? What's on the tape? It's presented by Philip Schofield. Oh, so there's a little bit of a danger to it now.

Why? Because Philip Schofield's a danger man now, isn't he? The media has now classed him as a reckless danger man. We've got clips from Cracker Jack. Remember Cracker Jack? Fireball XLS. Do you remember that? Yeah, that was a...

Anderson thing. One of the early ones, yeah. Tales of the Riverbank. Yes, that was a bit Wind in the Willowsies. Do Not Adjust Your Set. Was that like... That was a kids' TV show, sketch show, I think. I can't remember.

Yeah. But it was a kids' sketch TV show. Wasn't it a bit like... It was a bit proto-P I can't remember. But it was a kids sketch TV show. Wasn't it a bit like... It's a bit proto-Python-y. Wasn't it a bit like how? No, it was more like proto-Python, proto-goodies. I think it even had some of the same people in. I'd have to see it to have a look.

Jackanory. Jackanory. Remember Jackanory? Story time. Lovely. It's a storytelling show. Yeah. I would like you to tell me exactly which Jackanory...

It's more like Floella Benjamin, isn't it? And people like that. Or Richard Bryars. Floella. All right, mate, you've had your fun. I'm reading the rest of these titles, thank you. Can I just say before you go on, there was a thing in the 90s,

especially in the mid to late 90s, where there was retro kids TV being popular again. Because I remember they re-released Watch With Mother on VHS, and they would repeat it in the afternoons on a Sunday or something. And then obviously thunderbirds was back in vogue and everyone was talking about bill and ben the flower pop men all over again and there was this fondness even back then for the nostalgia of kids tv of the 60s and 70s i think it was a

sort of thing that went along with the celebration of that era that brit pop embodied you know yeah yeah it was very much that thing yeah Yeah, it was kind of like... A big sort of 60s revival in the mid to late 90s, wasn't it? Yeah, culturally. It got very recursive in its interests. Yes. But obviously now it just is...

So I presume this VHS is just him saying, do you remember this? Here's a clip. Do you remember that? Yeah, I don't want to see him in his terrible shirt and denim combo. The clothes are just... It's a very 90s looking box.

But you've got Jack and Nori like we said Thunderbirds and many more it says do you want to talk into the microphone or do you just not want to take part

in this podcast it's just I'm getting tired of this I'm trying to look at this thing I don't know why I thought I had brought it back up

I don't know why we have mic I see other people do podcasts they're like me they talk everywhere and it picks it up they have better

microphones that's the main thing it comes down to they have better microphones that we can't thing it comes down to they have better microphones that we can't afford we can't just give me the fucking tape

so yeah and that's it and it just has a little quote from Schofield on the back that says working on these unique videos Floella bum jamming revive lots of

what about that well you know I'm just going to give up Floella bum jamming you're not listening to me and you're just thinking of Floella bum jam Floella bum jamming right You're not listening to me and you're just thinking of Floella bum jam.

Floella bum jamming. Right, so Watershed Pictures rated you how much, what year was this? 1990. Wow. So what, how much do you think? I bet it's really dry because he's not very funny, is he, Schofield? How much do you think this VHS was?

It's dead media. You know what I think? I see charity shops all over this great city of ours, Paul, that say, they have little signs up, we no longer accept VHS. And I've seen also incidents where people have come in and said, oh, have you got any VHS? And they go, no, we don't do it no more.

So what does that make you think? It means they're worthless unless they're... Yeah, good point. So which one? And so I also think for that reason that that's not your item because I don't think they have them in any of the shops near here really anymore. That's not true.

I have seen loads of VHS in that North London up by Wood Lane. Wood Green. Wood Green. Fuck. One day I'll get a train station stop right. Mate, how much do you think it is? Sorry. Give me a look now.

Focus. How about my mic technique? Is it working for you now? Do you want to just give me a price? Or do you want a pencil in your meters? Oh, we haven't done that in a while, have we? I know we haven't, but it's meters time, mate. Put it that way.

Pencil meters time again. Yeah. I'll bash it down right to the eraser tip. I think it's worthless. I think... How much? 30p for that. 30.

I might change my mind. All right. Well, listen. Next item. Oh, is it a poster? It's a tube of some mind. All right, well, listen. Next item. Oh, is it a poster? It's a tube of some sort. It's a tube that I am passing him. But what is in the tube?

And it feels like it has something more solid than a poster in it. But it's the type of tube you would... Now, this may be, like, this is the thing I rolled up my arse at the end of the episode. This would. I mean, it looks already like something you could definitely... It's made of glass, some of it. Yeah. We don't want that split in.

Tell them what it is. I mean, lubed that'll be fine it won't it's extremely knobbly it's got knobbly metal potato potato bears they're not potato knobbly potato bears eli what's a knobbly potato bear it's do you want to just look at the item instead and move on they're teddy bears everyone yeah uh There are knobbly metal potato... Yeah, he's a... He's not long for this world, ladies and gentlemen, is he? He's got the potato bursting for it. This is a...

I think it tells you on the tube what it is. General certificate holder. It's a certificate holder. It's a tube... Did you hear that? ...that you can put... Oh, that's sad. And that's the sound

that will make coming out of my arse as well. Oh. So, yeah. So that's just a place holding piece of paper. But what would you... Because think about it. What kind of certificate would you put in? Because it's for kids.

It's got a teddy bear on it. Well, you could put... Like swimming certificate? Swimming. Or any kind of certificate you get. You could put your degree in there, couldn't you? You could. If you're sort of a cat lady.

Yeah. Who likes teddy bears. Yeah. Maybe if you're sort of a cat lady yeah or lonely yeah maybe if you're lonely and you got a fucking O level or a bronze swimming certificate

or something yeah it's a sad horrible thing it must be to deliver it rather than to keep I guess you would

keep it in it though but it's kind of something like you used to hand over and say you have this is yours no you would

never hand that over in an actual graduation ceremony how much this is a gift for a mother a proud mother or father to get for their... Oh, you could put a birth certificate in it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, maybe that's it. Oh, yeah, your baby's birth certificate in there. And keep it in a box. It's got many uses. I hate it. You can put a certificate in there or you can stick it up your arse.

It's got two uses. You could stuff it full of fucking drugs. Couldn't you? I was going to say cum. How long do you think it would take me to fill that up? You could hide your drugs in there. You could. Oh, shit, no one's going to go... Let me investigate your suspicious certificate was going to say, come. How long do you think it would take me to fill that up? No one would look in there. You could hide your drugs in there. You could. No shit. No one's going to go Let me investigate your suspicious

certificate holder in your bag, sir. I always take my certificates with me. How dare you? You take your birth certificate with you everywhere do you go? Yes. Do you go where you go? Where I go, I take my certificates go with me. Yes. Alright. I start riding a horse with my certificate holder.

If you were caught short in the woods. You could take this into battle. Battle. And battle. You could take it into battle. I'm going into battle. Battle. Right.

How much do you think? It's been up Paul Gannon's arse. That would make him run, wouldn't it? Right. How much do you think that costs, Mr. Silverman? A dirty brown baton from the Bumtown game. Now, I've said I don't like this, but it does have a decent build quality. It has to be said.

They're nice, very nice, heavy. Weighty. Knobends. What are they called? Knobends. What would you call those? I don't know what you'd call them, to be honest. You can see photos, by the way, everyone, of all the items on the Cheap Show website.

Thecheapshow.co.uk. They have a quality to them. Would you agree? Yeah. So I think this is going to be my most expensive item so far. it's mint on card it has the card literally mint in it okay mint inside card mint inside how much uh what it's just our last item no one more the fifth item yeah yeah and total we said six to nine that was the window yeah that's the transom it's you've so far you've guessed uh one two about three pound I think this is going to be

I'm going to go for 275 so I get the 25 either way so what are you saying again two pound 75 275 and finally I could see that being three quid

but I thought bring it down yeah Nottingham waiting there but it's just a shave a little smidge a one per twing size smidge off alright okay

25p that's the size of one per twing unless you're well out which case doesn't matter here's the last item I could just be just in. Last item. He's getting angry at me.

Last item. Don't get angry at me. Oh, this is another envelope. Now, I only say this till last because I was using it to rest on, to write, so it's not special, but look into it. Oh, we've got photos here.

We've got some, these negatives? No, they're just the contacts, they call them. Yeah. Contact sheets from a gig. Someone singing. I think there's a piece of information in there that tells, they call them. Yeah. Contact sheets from a gig. Someone singing. I think there's a piece of information in there that tells you what it is.

Oh, yeah, there's a bit of paper. Read it. Is this some kind of old press release or something? Press pack? Extra AM. This is a Citify. So it's from a radio station. Hey, we could put this certification in the holder.

In that tube, yeah. I'm going to do that. Well, first of all, read it and explain to everyone what it is it actually represents. Extra AM, which I assume is a radio station yes uh headed paper yeah this is to certify that linda and joyce were given official permission to take a break oh with adrian stewart on extra am on the 22nd of october 1990 same date as the video yes it is same date as the video. And Adrian Stewart on XJM to listen to their favourite classic hit. I wonder what the hit was. Signed Adrian Stewart. Ace

Stewart he's put. Christ. Is that his, call me Ace. Is that what he was like? I bet he was like that. I don't know. Oh he said Aid. Sorry it's not Ace, it's Aid. Oh he's on, I've got, there's a Is this what it sounds like? Service and Kenny Rogers on a laid back Saturday afternoon with your own glade until six o'clock this evening. There's not a goal post in sight. The nearest Is this what it sounds like? tomorrow staying dry but quite cloudy and the outlook much the same currently it's 62 in Worley

Edgbaston on 61 rugby up to 63 back in a moment with Andy Williams and Shirley Bassey he has a very anyway a very generic

radio voice yeah probably not bad no but but very generic isn't it so it is there's a photo

of fucking David Soul that's what they won for some reason in 1990 they gave away pictures of David Soul oh these of fucking David Soul. That's what they won. For some reason, in 1990, they gave away pictures of David Soul. Oh, these are all David Soul from the same gig? Yeah. They're just photographs.

Don't give up on us, baby. So there's, yeah. We're still at home. There's some with him with an acoustic guitar. From a live set or something. And some of him just standing with the mic with his big trousers. Yeah.

Because that was the thing. He was one of the few people at the time to be an actor and a reasonably successful pop hit singer everyone was at it though everyone was at it Chegwin was at it for God's sake

John Travolta was at it at the time he was because he was in that sitcom wasn't he well anyway a bunch of photographs that were a prize

it was much more a thing then than it is now especially in this country yeah because people learnt the lessons from Nick Berry now what tends to happen is a lot of shitty actors

from Britain try a pop career and then you get like Robson and Jerome. Yeah. That was huge. They were bigger pop stars than actors.

Ant and Dec. Yeah. So it does happen. But not as common. You're right, not as common as it used to. Now, what is this worth? How much is it worth?

I think because of the... I just think they feel like the same sort of... The possessions are the same sort of person almost. The video. It does seem like they've all came from... And they're from the same year. So, almost. The video and the certificate.

And they're from the same year. So that's, I don't know, it's irrational, but that's kind of linking those in my mind, and I feel that they're from Nottingham. Either way. That's a Nottingham radio station, isn't it? We know it's all from Nottingham. He said that in the letter. Yeah, but I'm trying to think of the one,

the special five point. It probably came from some woman who died. Is this a Nottingham station? Yes, it is. So you're telling me that it is. The letter says it's all from nottingham don't you remember paul we're playing a special special twist yeah but not all of them are obviously where they're gonna be from nottingham like the vhs it's a game of elimination

so i can eliminate this is what you're saying but can you yes i can well then you there you go well fucking done i'm just saying those two won't be there i know which one you bought now do you yeah all right well then give you a price for the. How much of a price for the photographs? I mean, a David Soul fan would say they were priceless. Don't give up on this game. I've given up half an hour ago. You have, haven't you? Come on, then.

Well, this is not going to be entertaining for people if you're all to be bored. It's not entertaining because you fucking go off on tangents and talk as shit. I am. I'm an entertaining person. You're a man who shits himself in a live performance

anti-comedy guys look it up yeah it's a persona alright yeah isn't it this isn't really me come on I wouldn't

price price price the real me wouldn't put up with this price day after day price me up the shit pipe £1.75

right you're the one who put the twist in let's have let's do this now right six items you guessed them all do you want to change Right. You're the one who put the twist in. Let's do this now. Right.

Six items. You guessed them all. Do you want to change any of your guesses now before I look at it? No. In that case. I'm bored if you're bored. In that case, what item of the six do you think I snuck in? Now.

Can I just take you through my thinking a bit? Yes. Now's the appropriate time for that. Good. I'm allowed to speak now, am I? Great Flood, November 2000. That's from Nottingham. That was our first item.

Our second item was the boots thing. Yeah, then it was the cigarette roller, the Rizzler thing, then the VHS kids show, and then the certificate holder. Are you pointing at the letter there? I'm pointing at the scores I've written down. You've written those down? Yeah. Because I'm trying to read you through, you like because if you hadn't get it

yeah i was just reading it from you haven't got the letter there just to be clear no it's down there all right shenanigans come on which which which i think it's between the boots cards and the and the rizzler roller are the swapped out item and i'm going to go for the rizzler roller i think you would have picked it up. Yeah. And I just think... Well, I'm just saying, do you want the price for the flood thing you said was 25p? The post office cards,

or the boots cards, sorry. £1. Roller, £150. VHS, 30p. The certificate thing, £275. Photograph, £175. You happy with those prices? I am.

And the one you think I swapped out is the Rizzler. Cigarette roller. I'll put that mark there. And you just because as well oh you could have got the certificate holder i guess that's the type of thing you might pick up because you thought it was kitschy it's like you gotta pick one i think it's the roller obviously it's not so you think it's the roller you just want to know if you want to lock it in that's all why are you laughing i know the answers and it's fun isn't it to have to hold this to hold to hold the strings okay to make you dance like a puppet

it's definitely not the david soul press pack thing uh certificate because no i would say this it's definitely not that and the flood thing because you know because they're associated with nottingham but the vhs i could have picked up the good ass you know why i'm i'm getting rid of the vhs For the reason I said before that they don't tend to actually stock VHSs in a lot of... I know you say they do have them somewhere, but in a lot of London shops,

they don't anymore. We can both agree on that, can't we? Yeah. I'm going for the roller. All right. You're locking that in. Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing?

I love it when you fail outright, massively on the show am I going to get a donut of betwings here am I going to get no betwings do you want to find out are you locked in because you're laughing I want to change the roller

I'm just saying if you want me to lock it in I will lock it in we'll move on are you sure shut up I'm just giving you one more chance If you want me to lock it in, I will lock it in. We'll move on. Fucking lock it in and move on. You sure? Shut up! I'm just giving you one more chance to make the change of mind if you want. Because I want you to at least get something.

Oh, my God. It's gone evil. You finally crossed over to evil. I'm just... This is evil! I'm trying to help you out, mate, really, without helping you out, if that makes sense. Okay, I think the item you got was... was the boot cards. Mate, are you sure?

I just want to make sure you're sure before I come on. What are you locking in? I'm locking the prices in. I want you to say lock after I say it, right? Okay. So, Flood, 25p. I'm not locking that in because you're making me... Mate, you just want to know.

Push that up to 30p. 35p. 35p, yeah? Yeah. 35p. Right, postcards. Because altogether, so far, it's £1, £2, £3, £4, £5, £6.

It's just over £7 you've guessed all in. Yeah, that's all right. All right, okay. And it's between £6 and £9. All right, okay. And it's between six and nine. All right, leave the other prices the same. As they say, and which one do you think

I swapped out? Why are you laughing? Because I've been giving you clues throughout the whole thing. Have you? You've obviously not been picking it up. Have you?

Yeah. When you listen back to this, it's going to kill you. The video is the one. Right. I'm going to say VHS. Lock it in for the swap out. I'm locking it in.

Right. So that's the one you think is the swap. That's the only one I think you gave me a clue. Right. I'm going to say VHS. Lock it in for the swap out. Yes, I'm locking it in. Right. So that's the one you think is the swap. That's the only one I think you gave me a clue. Right. Okay. Okay. Let's go through this. Yes.

You said 35p for the flood. I did, yeah. The flood newspaper. The price was 75p. So you're out by there. So nothing there. Oh, dear. But still, you're in the right ballpark.

The post office cards, you said, were one pound. P pound pound on the nose it's often a price in this game and i am delighted to say they are a pound so that's two betwings yes between between on the board paul right cigarette roller i said 150 you said 150 the price 150 oh my god another two betwings there for Mr. Silver sweet the VHS you said was 30p the VHS was 50p so that's another

betwing there it's five already you've racked up mate oh this is oh this is going much better so the tube the certificate thing

you said was 275 the price was £1.50 so nothing there. And the photos of David Soul, you said were 175. The answer was £2. Uh-huh.

Didn't I tell you? The little one between shave off. So you have six betwings in all. Woo! But the one you said was swapped out was the VHS. Because of the clue. However, I fucked you. It was the cigarette roller.

I fucking played you like a cunt. You cunt. Because I saw you getting loads of points. Everyone knows I got the Phantom Pertweets. I was right. How dare you? I know, but I fucking played you, mate. How dare you?

That's the game for me. Fuck this. Oh, fuck this. What a victory for Paul Cleverclog's gallon, eh? Six betwings unanswered. Thank you. Six betwings at a potential 12 means a 50% hit rate for the game overall. But I fucking stole those five out of you.

A 50% what? You got 50% right. You got 50% of the points available. Because it was 12. We're not recording the special swap out. 12 bet Twins available all that matters mate is I fucking

played you like a kipper it was less my percentage hit was less I played you like a kipper you fucking did I played you like a kipper and I fucking love this so guess what

12 for Twins for Paul Gannon what a win for me what a win let's take a break let's take a little break right now fuck you

is it a girl who's golden goes is it a girl who's golden goes Take a break. Let's take a little break right now. Fuck you. Is it the guy that's got the ghost? Is it the guy that's got the ghost? What do you mean? Is it the guy that's got the ghost? At least it was brief. Right. Is it the guy that's got the ghost?

Is it the guy that's got the ghost? I haven't finished. Is it the guy that's got the ghost? What do you mean? Is it the guy that's got the ghost? What do you mean? Well, at least it was brief. Is it the guy that's got the ghost? Is it the guy that's got the ghost?

Well, at least it was brief. What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? What the fuck? it was brief. It could have gone five minutes with Dario. Well, at least it was brief. I'm going to fuck off. Dario. Dario. Please shut your fucking gob. Dario. Not after what you did to me. I didn't do nothing.

In the last game, Paul, you're going to get the full Gannon's Golden Game. Mouth nonsense. What happened was there. Barrage. A barrage of Darioouth nonsense. What happened was there. Barrage. A barrage of Gannons Golden Game for you. What I did there was I made myself invested in the game.

I put myself in there to, although I couldn't score points, I could keep you away from scoring more points. And that's what I got out of it. That's what I needed to get out of it, to be engaged. Well, you know what? I get out of it to get engaged. What? I only get hard if I sink in a gold

with games and do the Dario bit. Are you hard right now then? No. Well, then you didn't do a very good job. I haven't done enough. Well, I think you've done enough.

I haven't done enough. I think you've done enough, mate. I think you've done more than enough. Let's carry on until you get an erection. Show me. I'm going to need

to give it a hard whiff. I'm going to have to cut most of this out and just get to the point. I'm Dario. I'm Dario. Right, I'm hard now. Come on, show me then. I'm not to need to give it a hard whiff. I mean, I'm going to have to cut most of this out and just get to the point. Right, I'm hard now. Come on, show me then. I'm not showing you.

Show me then or we won't move on. Private smile. Show me your erection. Show me your erection. Or I won't move on. I never told you, but I've got a private smile and I save it only for me. Yeah, that's what you call your sad, weeping, drippy cock, do you? Your secret smile. Yeah? Drooling, do you? Your secret smile. Yeah?

Drooling, fucking, heavy-lipped smile. Don't call my cock heavy-lipped. It does. But you've got a right fucking pose. I've got a nice one. I bet your penis looks like Jagger's mouth, doesn't it?

I don't want to talk about this all right I've stopped with the gallon gold I want to play the game come on right so the game I got I found in a charity shop I believe it was how much did you pay I paid two pound for this and it's a game called that it's f star that now but then it says underneath it says well it forget that so is it called f star that or forget that well that's a good point because it should be star asterisk means forget

but they put forget that so officially it's called F forget that that yeah which doesn't ring off the tongue which is ridiculous doesn't ring off the tongue

does it Paul fuck that fuck that fuck that do you remember in school where someone would go hey

you king bastard king bastard king bastard king of king king ker king ker someone would go, hey, you king bastard. King bastard. King bastard. King of. King. King-ker. King-ker. Right, listen. So, what happens to me about this is that you look at the box and you think fuck that, right? Your brain just goes

I'm going to fill in and I think fuck that. Ah, sort of, yes. But not as much as the FC UK thing. No. It's actually an anagram. Your brain goes fuck. Yeah. Right, which an anagram. Your brain goes, fuck. Yeah. Right, which is very clever. With that, because of convention,

you think, fuck that, because that's the convention. So why would you even bother to say it's called Forget That? I don't know. As if to say, don't worry, we're not really being rude. Well, then don't be rude. Just call the game Forget That.

And the design is a lady's face with the title tabloidy looking, isn't it? It's meant to be a sort of tabloid... Red banner kind of look to it. Yeah. Yeah. Not bad design. It's fine. It's weird, though,idy looking, isn't it? It's meant to be a sort of tabloid, red banner kind of look to it. Yeah. Yeah. Not bad design. It's fine.

It's weird, though, that there's no markings on, like, who made this game at all. But if you look at the back, in the smallest of prints, it says this game was made by Mattel. Ah. But in India,

this game was made in Mattel, India, and somehow sold in, you know, UK. Now, it's a card game, which you don't often see on Ganon's Golden Games because you don't like card games. I don't like deck building games or stat based card games like Top Trumps or Dungeons and Dragons and things like that.

Dungeons and Dragons isn't a card game. Well no, but there are also games where it's like Magic the Gathering stuff like that or Pokemon. Yeah, card deck collecting games. Some games are based around that kind of form. But I got the impression from you, you just didn't like card games that have no board in general.

No, well, I prefer them with board games and toys and elements. But these, what we're going to play today is basically like Crimes Against Humanity or whatever that fucking game is called. That's exactly what I was going to say. That was a huge hit, wasn't it? What was it called, that game?

Crimes Against Humanity. Cards Against Humanity. That was a huge hit. And this is basically Mattel trying to ape that. That was an independent originally, wasn't it? What was it called that game? Crimes Against Humanity. Cards Against Humanity. That was a huge hit and this is basically Mattel trying to ape that low cost. Because that was an independent originally wasn't it?

But this seems like Mattel in India went well this is low risk low cost let's just pump a game out that's similar. And basically rip off the they're ripping off the vibe

aren't they? They're going for something that's a bit dirty or whatever. So apparently though this game ruins friendships it even says at the top Oh that's exactly like

Cards Against Humanity. It's all meant to be edgy. It's an edgy card game. Yeah but it's edged with rounded corners. Wasn't there one with kittens as well

exploding? Yeah but that's more of a kind of stat based kind of Pokemon. Yeah but it's more of a Pokemon-y thing. That's more of a debt collector.

Debt collector. Deck builder. A deck builder. Deck building game. Yeah. Wanker. Right, so this is what it says in the back of the box. How well do you know your friends?

Would they wipe their butts with a corn cob? Again, oh, I would. Could they rub chicken poop on their heads to cure hair loss? No. What about sacrificing you in the zombie apocalypse? Well, that is a game where it asks the difficult questions and puts your friendships to the test. Are you ready for this?

Sadly, I am. There's loads of these cards, so I've only pulled out half. Well, what are we going to play to then? Well, well, well, ah. Oh, here we go with the rules that he's not going to manage. We're going to play to five. We're going to play to five points.

And what, he asked, knowing the answer would be incomprehensible, is the rules of the game, Paul? Well. And what, he asked, knowing that the answer would be incomprehensible, is the rules of the game, Paul? Well. And what, he asked, knowing that the answer would be incomprehensible, are the words... Oh, well done. Well played.

Nicely done. Sharply delivered. One more time. All right. And what, he asked, knowing that the answer would be incomprehensible, are the rules of this game, Paul? Well. Nailed it.

Let's go, shall we? Let's take a trip down Paul's mouth and see where we go. So, the rules of this game paul well nailed it let's go shall we let's take a trip down paul's mouth and see where we go so the rules are like this you are given a scenario on a card right and that scenario with you has five potential options resolutions to the problem on the card okay with you the person who reads the card out is the one that you'll be playing against or i'll be playing against you if you read the card i mean what i'll be playing against or I'll be playing against you if you read the card out. You mean what? I'll be playing against you in this game. Wait. So what it means is

you've just gone into nonsense territory now. You didn't let me finish. So what it means is I'll read the scenario out and I will come up with as out of the

five which are the options I would pick to solve that situation that you would pick personally. And I have five cards here that have A, B, C, D and E on.

I have to at least pick one answer out. Oh you don't have to pick all answer out oh you don't have to pick all three no you'd have to pick all five you pick as many as you think you would do and i'll tell you what let's just do a scenario oh my god you completely lost me start again i will read out you have to smuggle life-saving medicine from another country which orifices are you comfortable hiding it in a your mouth b your nose c your, your front, whatever that means, or E, your stomach, right? So I'll go through my cards and I'll go, or maybe I'll do A, C...

Your stomach isn't an orifice. Already I hate this. Well, listen, your front... Listen, let's get the rules fucking up first. So I will pick out A, B, C. I'm happy to do those for you. I put those down. And then you then have to pick out from your stack of A, B, C, D, E cards what you think these five answers are. And if they match, you get points

for every matching card. Right? Yeah, got it. I just keep thinking about putting something in my meters because that would be my front bottom.

That's all on you. What do you mean it's all on me? Your front. Maybe it means you're fanny if you're a lady. It does, obviously. But what does it mean

if you're not a lady? You have to like tuck it under your balls. No, that's not an orifice. And the stomach isn't an orifice either. Well, you wedge it between the flaccid cock and the bags, don't you? Essentially, it says stomach or rear, right? That's the same

orifice. It's the same tube. It's not the same tube as your fanny and your bumhole. Your bumhole is the same as your stomach, Paul. Is it not? Is your bumhole linked to your stomach? Yes, it is. But you're saying the arsehole is connected to the fanny. That's what you just said. No, you you're saying the arsehole was connected to the fanny. I wasn't saying that. That's what you just said.

No, that's... You said there was one tube between my bum and a fanny. That's what I'm saying right now. Imagine that. Imagine your meters was connected to your arsehole. It would sound like

a child's toy. It would... You know what it would be? What? It would be milk, milk, chocolate and chocolate at the back as well. It would be a mess. Chocolate, lemonade, mix.

Chocolate for all. It would be like a chocolate fountain coming out your pee pee hole. Right. Well done. What do you mean well done? Well done for being clever boy. Thank you. Right.

But all I'm saying is you can swallow something and hold it in your stomach to smuggle it. I know what they mean, but it's not very rigorous. And then you put it up your bum. Yeah, but it could go. And then they could join. They could hold hands. Your drugs packets. Well, all right. Maybe I can if I'm carrying a then they could join. They could hold hands, your drugs packets.

Well, all right, maybe I can if I'm carrying a lot. Your medicines could clasp in somewhere in your lower colon. Why don't I just have one big link sausage chain of drug bags from my mouth to my bum hole?

Yeah. Do a big human floss. So, we're going to do that. So, up to five. First one to five points, right? I keep thinking about my arsehole now. I've got blue cards, five blue cards with A,

B, C, D, and E. And I'm going to give you another stack of cards. Give me a good scene too. Oh, this game is shit.

It's A, B, C, D, E. And I gave you the brown color because you know. Oh, fuck off.

Because you shit yourself all the time, don't you? All the time. You're a notorious shit brown panther. That's what we're going to call you now. No, no, no. No, no.

Did it, did it. Did it, did it. It's the brown panther, everyone. The man who shits. I am the man who shits. Everyone shits. Sometimes, Paul. Everybody shits.

Sometimes. Arse-em Great stuff Paul What about this Great gag What about this Ar-e-bum Arsey-bum Arsey-cola

Bum-shit Bum-pipe Cum-bum I'm ready to play you And I'm ready to win So I'm going to go first And just because there's so many Now what do I do

Well listen Oh I have to put the ones I think you're going to pick On the table Yeah afterwards So let's just do it as we go then. I'm going to split the pack. How do you shield them?

Oh, because they've got the bats. Yeah, so you just put them down. All right, ready. So I'm going to split the pack. I'm going to take the top card, but I'm going to read the question underneath the top card. Okay. All right? They're double-sided, these.

Yeah, they're double-sided, these. So this one says, you're dating the person of your dreams and happen to see them or their search history on a medical website, what are you comfortable with? So they're going to read out five things now that I would be comfortable with discovering

on their medical website something or other. This sucks, this game. I'm out. I've de-invested. A. Bumming. Greenfoot fungus.

This shit game. B. An STD. Oh. C. Extreme shit game. B, an STD. Oh. C, extreme body hair. Uh, what? D, pungent body odor. And E, a yellow discharge. So out of those five things,

I have to pick which ones I'd be comfortable with discovering on my partner's medical website's history search. You'd be comfortable with? Yeah. So I'm going to have a little think now. Which one's the hair? Like, if I see them, I go, I can live with that.

Right. So it's A, foot fungus. You decide first. B, STD. Yeah. C, extreme body hair. D, pungent body odor. E, yellow discharge.

I'm going to go with... I'm going to go with these two. I've picked two. So you have to pick two. I have. Right. So I have picked D, pungent body odour, and A, foot fungus.

I've got C and A. So you get a point for A. And you think, what, C, extreme body hair? Well, it's all gone now, hasn't it? I mean, I'm hairy. What do you care about? If your partner's smooth now, and they had extreme body hair in the past, what do you give a shit?

Yeah, I guess I couldn't think about it that way. You're okay with the hair as it is, don't you? No, I didn't think about it that way. That's a good point. Think about things fucking practically. I'm a hairy man. You are a hairy man, Paul. I'm very hairy and I don't like it

because it makes me really self-conscious. Well, I bought one of those machines where you zap them on your back. Well, it does, but I forgot to do it regularly, so it just keeps growing back. But it gets... I don't like my every bag.

Well, when you get rich, you can have a proper treatment. So what did we score? We both scored one. What happened? I get a point. Everyone gets a point. Eli and Paul.

Right. So if I miss, I get... So you get a point for that because you matched one. I don't get anything. But it's my turn now to try and get points from you. Select a card now.

Yeah. And I've got my ABCD. And let's hope it's more entertaining than the last one. Well, I tell you what. Pick out any card at random and you can pick which one of the side you want to do. So have a quick read of both. Oh, you'll like this one. All right.

Okay. Let's do that one then. Put the whole pack down. Just keep that card. Go on. You said I like this one. There's both ones that are kind of in your wheelhouse. Pick one then.

Remember, you've got to make it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's all about me. Good. It's I like this one. These are both ones that are kind of in your wheelhouse. Pick one then. Remember, you've got to make it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's all about me. Good. It's all Hallow's Eve. Oh.

And real monsters are popping up everywhere. Oh, no. Not real monsters. Real ones. Who are you comfortable? He keeps using that word. It's a sort of shit word, isn't it? Yeah.

Do you know? Maybe it just saves a lot of time and sense and space. Yeah, but it's like this game. It's making me lose the will. Oh, shut up. Most things make you lose the will to live. Not to live,

just to continue playing the game. This podcast fucking erodes my will to live. That is not a nice thing to say about me or yourself. You.

I feel like less of me. When after I've come, I feel like less of me. And I get more of you. Right on your face. Right on my guzzards. Come on, read the fucking thing. It's Halloween. The real monsters. Who were you comfortable running

into in the dead of night? Right. Okay. A. Dracula. Okay. B. Frankenstein's monster. Okay. C. Werewolf. Is it Wolfman? Werewolf, really. D. Zombie. E. Mike Wazowski. Oh, that's the monster from monsters inc the one with

the big eye ah yeah see so there's a nice little monster is that good monsters inc i like monsters oh that's that uh pixar animation yeah oh that's really good john goodman that's really good yeah uh billy crystals the voices yeah right so i if i've remembered them rightly as i've done them i'm gonna put these three down. Oh, no. It's for you, isn't it? I've got to get which you... No, you've got to pick which of those you'd be comfortable with. Do I have to tell you the number that I've picked?

Well, you have to put your cards down. If you pick three out, you put them down. You'll see. Yeah, okay. So it's Eli. Which are Eli more comfortable with? Let's find out what Eli thinks. And if you put three down, I've got to put three down.

Now, I've got a theory myself about this, so I'll see if my theory matches Eli's. How many is he going to do? Which of those monsters? How many is that? Two. Two. Can you read them out one more time for me just again?

I have A, Dracula. Yeah. B, Frankenstein's monster. Right. C, werewolf. Right. D, zombie. Yeah.

E, Mike Wazowski. Oh. That's A, Dracula. B, Frankenstein's monster. C, werewolf. I've put two down. You've done it. Yeah. E, Mike? Wazowski. Oh. That's A, Dracula. B, Frankenstein's monster. I've put two down. You've done it? Yeah. Which one did you do?

Flip them over now. Flip them over. I've got E. E. And A. Oh, I got E and B. Okay, we both knew E, because he just scares little girls.

He doesn't actually do anything, does he? He's a lovely little monster, and he sings and he dances, and he's got one big eye. He's got... Yeah. He doesn't hurt people, does he? little monster and he sings and he dances he's got one he's got hasn't got yeah it doesn't hurt people doesn't he well he just scares them to power the city because the children need that fear which is actually quite a strange way to run your country city it's like we have to make children scream to power your fucking microwave oven well it's a supernatural place isn't it i guess but it's all played off kind of fancy and it's a cartoon but in actual in actual cutesy. It's a cartoon. But in actual concept, it's horrifying.

There would never be an actual supernatural world with monsters. No, but if you're going to come up with one, although it sounds cutesy to some extent in your head, the actual concept of it is dark. It's like, we have to make children scream. So my toaster makes crumpets. But so many of the Pixar formula then became this sort of alternate world where there's some aspect of the human world where it's like...

And also the emotions one. Do cars have sex in cars? There's that one where the emotions, isn't there? Yeah. And all of that sort of thing. It's all basically the same sort of idea. Anyway, look, one point each at the end of that second round. Again.

And we're neck and neck now, aren't we? And also, I've got Dracula there. Do you want to know why? I don't know. I picked Frankenstein's monster because I thought he's slow and you could probably run away from him. No, he'd rip him to pieces. Yeah, but you could run away from him

because he's quite slow. Yeah, but he'd keep coming. Yeah, but if... And you're in the woods or whatever, what are you going to do? He's just going to keep coming. You're going to have to slow down at some point. Yeah, but I'm more nimble.

I could get somewhere where he can't reach. Yeah, but you're in trouble. If he goes on for two days, it's true, you're in trouble. Personally speaking, out of all of those, I probably think my better bet

was with Frankenstein because Wolfman, rah, chew you up oh no you don't want wolfman dracula you could turn into a bat and get you right yeah but if he gets you zombie is another one maybe because you could outrun it maybe theoretically a swarm of them no not good but one zombie one zombie probably dealable with but i thought dracula because i i'll get bit and then i can be like a sexy old vampire alive forever interview with an eli vampire you know i mean yeah i guess anyway that was my reasoning no no very good reasoning you'll go come on here's the deck get your cards when we're playing two best of five best of three for uh i will tell you what let's do uh let's well it's one point each

let's see how we go after this next round and then alright we'll judge it after we do these next two cards we're not going to get a big laugh at this fuck off here's a good one your friend is eating with their mouth open

and it's horribly disgusting which one of these might I do or which few of these might I do one stop throwing food into their gaping mouth

B tell them you hate seafood C S E E food C passive aggressive groaning Throwing food into their gaping mouth. B. Tell them you hate seafood. C. S-E-E food. C. Passive-aggressive groaning. Oh, this game is killing me. D. Fake stomach pains and leave.

Or E. Call them a gross pig. How many cards? I hate this game. This game is stultifyingly dull. I've picked three. You're stultifyingly dull. Come on picked three. You're stultifyingly dull. Come on, this is a shit game and it was last minute. That's just a minute.

Yes. We've been going almost ten years. Sometimes the games are shit and this is fucking shit. You're shit. This is shit. You smell of shit. No, you smell... Your mouth smells of shit. Your mouth smells of fucking shit.

Your hair sometimes smells of shit. Your penis does not reel. It's clean as... It does not reel. It's clean as a whistle. Your penis does not reel. It's clean as a whistle. It does not reel. It's clean as a whistle. Your penis does not reel. It's clean as a whistle, mate. Clean as a whistle.

Sharp as a thistle. I'd put three down. Clean as a whistle, sharp as a thistle. The best at all Westminster. What's that from? I can't remember now. You put three down. Can I have a recap, please?

Yeah. I know I'm putting this one down. People eat with their mouths full. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. It's disgusting. A, throw food into their gob. B, tell them you hate seafood. C, passive-aggressive groaning.

D, fake stomach pains and leave. E, call them a gross pig. A, B, C, D, E. Which of those do you think? I've picked. Right. What have you got? I picked E.

Got E. D and B. That's two points to Eli. I'm liking this game better now. Best of five? You've got three points. Now in this game, we'll see how we go. You pick a card now again.

You ready? Yeah. You're offered the chance to meet your favourite celebrity. But you must perform for them on stage. Right. What are you okay with doing? the chance to meet your favourite your favourite celebrity. But, you must perform for them on stage. Right. What are you okay with doing? Right. A. A burlesque style striptease. Oh.

B. The star-spangled banner. C. The vagina monologues. Right. D. Fallatio pantomime. Fallatio pantomime? I guess. I've never seen fallatio as a panto. Those two words put together. Fallatio pantomime. Felatio pantomime? I guess. I've never seen Felatio as a panto. I've never heard those two words put together. Felatio pantomime.

Hello. Hello, I am Felatio pantomime. Hello. And look what I'm doing. Oh, Felatio, come home. What do you think I'm doing? Oh, I'm miming. I'm Felatio's mother, Vaginalope.

No, that's awful. Why is that funny all you did was say I'm associating woman with a part of her body and that's all that matters to you no it's just the simpleness of that it's not simple

you shouldn't be proud of her To just create a female Get out of the blue I'm Vagino It wasn't because her son's called Valatio It wasn't just because she's a woman Yeah but you could have called her Conalingo

Or something couldn't you It wouldn't have been as funny My name's Conalingus Why would she have a different name From her son Different marriage She got remarried Alright clever dick

I'm clever dick And I'm clever dick. And I'm fellatio fucking pantomime. No, but talking of funny names, did I tell you? What? My friend, he started a new job. Stop miming sucking a dick. Why are you doing that?

Because I can. I'm fellatio pantomime. This is what I do. Why do you do that? Eli, go on. Stop. Go on. I know what you're going to do. You don't know what I'm going Why do you do that? Eli. Go on. Stop. Go on. I know what you're going to do.

You don't know what I'm going to do. Go on. Talking of funny names, Paul. Yeah. A friend of mine started... He was double fisting me into his mouth. Stop. I'm Felicio Pantomime.

He's got a work person. He saw this as a real name. Spunky Huang. It's a real name. That's actually quite funny. The real name. Spunky Huang. It's a real name. That's actually quite funny. The guy's called Spunky Huang. Isn't it? Isn't it fun to make fun of someone's name?

Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it? Give me the cards. No. It's my go. I'm doing this. Is it?

Yes. It's my go, you twat. No, it isn't because we just did yours and you got to... We haven't finished. We only got to fellatio pantomime, didn't we? I got confused. I haven't given you D. Oh, that's right.

Yeah, we're in the middle of your... Okay, so this is what you're prepared to do when you meet your favourite celebrity. You're going to have to reread them out because I've forgotten now. I know. Don't be a dick. Stop fucking miming fellatio then. I'm not doing a pantomime. Oh, it's behind you.

It's inside you. Right. Oh, well done this, the clever clogs. Right up there with vagina sauce or whatever her

fucking name is. Oh, I'd be kidding if I didn't know what's called vagina though, wouldn't it? Stop doing

that! Stop doing fellatio mimes! Okay. A, a burlesque-style striptease. Yeah. B, the star-spangled banner. Could do God Save the King.

Yeah, I guess you could do that. C, the vagina monologues. D, fellatio pantomime. E, yoga. Yeah. Performance yoga. Right. What was D again?

Fellatio pantomime was D, Paul. And was D again? Fallatio pantomime was D. And what was B? Oh, that's what it means. It means to pretend to perform fallatio. God, it only just occurred to me. Yeah, so A is... Burleque-style striptease. Yeah.

This is what I would do, though, isn't it? Oh, is it? Yeah. Oh, God. What I'd be prepared to do. Right, in that case, can I just read the card? No. Just have it here so I can see.

You're a moron. Just put it there so I can see. You're a moron! Just put it there so we can both see it. For my favourite celebrity. Who's my favourite celebrity? I don't know. Tina Fey from 30 Rock. Absolutely not. All right, what about...

I never watched any 30 Rock. Alec Baldwin from 30 Rock. He's not my favourite celebrity. I don't have one. Tracy Lourdes. Tracy Lourdes? The porn star. I don't know what she looks like.

I could... Who is my favourite celebrity? I don't know what she looks like. Who is my favourite celebrity? I don't know. Noel Edmonds comes and you have to perform a sexy burlesque striptease. You do a blobby-o-gram. Yeah, unzip the blob. Unzip. A bit blobby-o-monculi. Unzip the blob.

All grilled up. Come out of blobby like DeVito out of that sofa. You know what I mean? Oh, God. And you've got a penis that's been painted up to look like blobby homunculi all grilled up come out of blobby like DeVito out of that sofa you know what I mean oh god and you've got a penis that's been painted up to look like blobby do you think I should

one got off a lemon's face dressed as blobby I should do Danny DeVito impressions this has gone on for half an hour

this is meant to be a ten minute thing I could just drop all this and do a Danny DeVito show yeah I'm just going to end this game because this is off an hour.

Don't end it. You have to do this bit. Hurry up then. Hurry up. How many cards are you doing? I don't know. You pick them. And then I have to match how many you put down.

I can't remember. It's there. Okay. I'm thinking about this seriously. Right. This is taking way too long. Two cards. Right.

Show me the card again. I just want to have a quick look. Fuck. Come on. Two people have smoked way too much cannabis in their life I haven't touched any you literally can't remember

something for more than a second right I've got two cards I've put down alright you ready to end this shit yeah what is it I've got D and E

fellatio pantomime and yoga I got B and E so I got one yeah so Eli wins because it's three and I got two. Well done.

Yay! Well, I give that game 2.5 out of 7. It's not very good. It's fine. If you were drunk and you had some more friends over, it's not the end of the world. I've played Cards Against Humanity, but I'm assuming there's something a bit more fruity to it.

No, not really. It's no more fruity than this, really. It's all the same much of a muchness. It's about guessing what your friend would do. Yeah, it's got bollocks to it. Right, that's 29 minutes. See you, everyone. Bye.

Bye. And that's Cheap Show for another week. Join us next week, because next week is our office Christmas party. Oh, I forgot. Now, I wasn't too keen on this, but you convinced me last week, so... What are we going to do? Have you invited lots of people?

See that business park around the corner? Oh, yeah, Florentia Clothing Village. They've got some office spaces available at the moment, so I said, can I rent it for a night, just for a little shindig perfect i thought it'd be cute to be like office christmas party then i can walk home stumble home yeah and i can come back here as well afterwards you can stay on the couch so it's not too bad well who else you got coming well okay so first of all it's going to be like gimmick it's going to be like i'm going to bring a printer in and make it look like an office and it'd be like an office party that's the kind

of gimmick i've got all right but. But I asked Suze Kempner, Paul Putner, Brian Wecht, Nick Helm, Biffo, Ash, Ethan, Tom,

loads of people, you know, who've been on the podcast recently. Oh, this is good. Biffo, yeah, and Sanya? Yeah, and I've asked them as well. So, you know, I've sent them the date.

I've said, you know, bring something, but don't go crazy. We're going to have a bit of food and a game or two. Just going to keep it reasonably simple but i'm gonna have food christmas that booze i'm gonna get some booze in you know as usual

christmas games yeah job done you know what i mean i could do some music yeah like a bluetooth speaker i'll just do a youtube speaker yeah when you have multiple bluetooth speakers all in your I am fellatio pantomime And I'm vagina pantomime Again you could have just said cunnilingus I don't want to her name is vagina Yeah but it makes more sense to be cunnilingus And fellatio What makes sense in a name

Her parents could have called her anything Yes but I just think from you, just saying the word vagina. Vagina. You said vagina. I'm pretty sure you said vagina. It was. That's even better.

It might be a little bit better, maybe, yeah. Well, listen, look. I'm vagina. That's what we're doing next week. It's our office Christmas party. So get your booze ready. Get your food ready. Come and join us.

Get your fluid beef ready. For a nice end of year romp. Spray beef. With lots of shut up. End of year romp. Spray beef. Lots of shut up. Lots of fun and games to look forward to. I'm looking forward to that. Our fifth annual. It's our fifth annual, isn't it?

It's our fifth anal. It's our fifth anal office party. Office part. It's our fifth anal party. Party. I've got a fucking anal gape. Right. Okay.

Well, let's wrap this up very quickly. Thank you. Thank you to all our Patreon supporters who keep the lights on here. If you would like to join those wonderful, wonderful people, it is patreon.com forward slash Cheat Show. For everything else, it is thecheapshow.co.uk.

Go there for dedicated web pages for each and every episode. Links to our, well, links to everything is there basically so go there to your one stop shop thecheapshow.co.uk and we'll see you out there

can I say something what Chuffney Harrington come on vagina on the chuff she is that's what she is

that's her official title vagina for last no you're just saying words you're just saying nonsense Chuffney Harrington come on that's got a ring to it Jen You're just saying nonsense. Chuffney Harrington. Come on,

that's got a ring to it. Jencombe reflux and Chuffney Harrington on the overpass. Ooh. She's dropped a feather. Vagino's dropped a feather. I'll get that Harrington

to pick it up. Woo. Oh, thanks for supporting the show, everyone. Thanks, Paul. He's doing a fake walkout right at the end. I'll just wrap it up. Do you want me to press the button?

I'm pressing the button. No, stop! Don't wank in my face! You can't fucking end it with a big gusher in your musher. How about that? Gusher in your musher. Don't fuck Fuck off. Can you get back away from me?

Physically get away from me. I was being professional. Why do you keep doing fake walking? What's come over you? Your fucking vagina. I'm Felicia. Your fucking plantar body. And I'm your mother vagina.

And that's this week's episode. Bye everyone.