CheapShow - Ep 376: Nightbussin'

Episode Date: March 22, 2024

It’s been long requested and finally, this week on CheapShow, you are getting what you asked for. It’s time to go Nightbussin! London has a large number of bus routes that start after midnight and run until the early morning. These routes help people get about the capital city at all hours, whether they are coming home from a late shift at work, or desperate to get home after a wild night out and the tubes are all closed. Night Busses are an important part of London and Paul and Eli are going to take one of these routes and invite you along. For their first adventure, for some reason, they have chosen the N18. It starts in Harrow and winds its way south towards Trafalgar Square. What will they witness, what will they remember and will it just be ANOTHER excuse for Eli to talk about himself and his younger days again? Either way, you’ll be on the journey with them in “real time”. “Ding, Ding!”, the cheap chaps are off on another rambling adventure! See pics/videos for this episode on our website: https://www.thecheapshow.co.uk/ep-376-nightbussin And if you like us, why not support us: www.patreon.com/cheapshow If you want to get involved, email us at [e-mail] And if you want to, follow us on Twitter/X @thecheapshowpod or @paulgannonshow & @elisnoid www.thecheapshow.co.uk Now on Threads: @cheapshowpod Like, Review, Share, Comment... LOVE US! MERCH Official CheapShow Merch Shop: www.redbubble.com/people/cheapshow/shop www.cheapmag.shop Thanks also to @vorratony for the wonderful, exclusive art: www.tinyurl.com/rbcheapshow Send Us Stuff: CheapShow PO BOX 1309 Harrow HA1 9QJ

Hello everybody, it's Cheap Show time. I'm Paul Gannon and that's Eli Silverman. And Eli's not here this week, are you? I'm not here this week. I'm visiting family in Florida. So you're literally not here this week. I'm not talking to you. This is all in my mind, correct? That's right, Paul. And as a result, we thought, well, usually we like to do that whole split thing where you versus Bifo. But I thought we've done that a few times now. Have we?

Yes, where you've gone off and we've done a Price and Shine and he- We only did it once. No, we've done it twice. We did it twice. Show us what you know, Mr Silverman. Show us what you know us. Um, so what we thought we'd do instead is this week, give you an episode from our Patreon vault.

Because a lot of people have been saying, do Nightbusting. I wanna hear Nightbusting. Now's your chance to listen to the first episode of Nightbust without- Uh, powering to be a Patreon for it. Now, I to say this, this is the only time we're doing it, from now on whenever we go night bussin', it's Patreon only. That's the deal, that's the deal. Have we decided what the next night bussin' will be? Not yet, no. But we have done three episodes already and this is our first night bussin' that we

will be releasing to your ears this week. Which one was that route again? N18. N18. And it was an interesting first route for us. A legit night bus with an N. An N on the front. An N on the front. Signifying the word night.

Yes. That's how we know. That's a proper night bus. You do have 24-hour buses, and you have buses that run not 24 hours but go after midnight. See, I call them the blue routes, those ones that are 24 hour, because always their little squares are blue with a little moon on. It's got a moon on. It's a little Blue Moon Root.

That's what I like to call it. Just now I've just decided I call them Blue Moon Roots. I'll be back everyone for more real episodes. Next week you will be, yeah, because you'll be back by then. I'll be back by then. You're going to bring some American treats back with you, it's part of the deal. If I see some yeah? Yeah you should do, you should do a Price of Shire, you should do anything. Okay. Anything would be good to bring back. I'll try and get a Price of Shire. You know it's nice to see what the other world has, the other country. The Mirror World. The Mirror Lands.

So yeah so this is our first night busing. Oh go blind me Governor, I look forward to you hearing it. And if you're not aware of what night busing is, we just get a bus basically. A night bus. So don't expect much in the way of tat or sort of storyline, it's just us getting a bus at night. Yeah, that's literally it, it's a night bus. We go, and it's the whole route from beginning to end uncut, isn't it? It's the route to find the bus stop, we go on the journey, uncut, real-time bus route action.

Yeah, basically. Then we go and have a little dot about in Trafalgar Square at the end at midnight or whatever it is. One in the morning when we get there. Yes. That's the plan. I think it's a fun first episode of Night Bussin'. If you want to know more, patreon.com forward slash Cheap Show. That is an all-tears podcast.

No matter what you give, you guarantee the Night Bussin'. Three episodes now. Three episodes. Well, another two after listening to this. This is for three. This is the one we're giving away now it's a little bit of a bait. And when do you think episode four might be conceived and recorded? A couple of months we tend to do every couple of months or so. So for now this is just a... Here, bus bus bus. You want a bit of night bussing? Here, bus bus buss buss buss! Right, so the non-patreon members of our audience are like pussies. You're calling them pussies, little pussycats.

Come here! Some of them might be allergic to cats. What's daddy got? He's got empty fingers, he's rubbing together like... What's daddy got? I don't know what daddy's got. Daddy's got a big hard hard phallus. I get again.

Bus bus bus bus bus bus bus bus. I'm gonna need to knock this out. Yeah. I'm gonna go. You enjoy night bussing everybody. I regret this. It is night bussing. Why do you keep doing it if you regret it?

I live for regret. You are being abusive towards our audience. It's a shame. It's a kink shame. It's a kink shame. It's a kink shame. Eww. Don't you judge me. Eww, I do.

Anyway, here's my button. Press the fucking credits. Rob Rando, Rob Rando. Organic Eli Silverman. Welcome to Jeep Show. Sources and words and phrases. Two things I'm responsible for. Chodney, Chodney Borough. I hate you, you've got to be more than posse. It's the Voice of Shai.

Welcome to Cheap Show. Hello, my name's Paul Gannon and this is Eli. Welcome to Cheap Show. Hello my name is Paul Gannon and this is Eli. Hello everybody, the moment has arrived. This is the beginning of night busing. Night busing is here everybody, I'm very excited Paul. We're starting. Our location is...

I'm actually quite tired. Yeah well I'm tired too. It's weird, it was like going to the airport but I was at your house. Now it's about 11.40pm as we record this. Our night bus doesn't start until just after midnight and we're heading to that beginning location now which is at the Harrow Weald bus station. It's the N18's the route today. But we're getting the H14 which is a special Harrow bus. Yeah. Isn't't it? That will take us close. That's what the A stands for, Paul.

Yes. So this is where we're starting today. We're just going to get, we're just going to wait for the first bus. I think I can see it too. So, alright, shh, now let's begin. We're just going to get started proper when we reach our N18 beginnings. You mean the start of the N18? Yeah, I did actually. Bit complicated. I've got mouth bollocks. You've got mouth bollocks?

I've got mouth tits. Let's not have mouth bollocks? Let's not have mouth bollocks. Is it coming? Yeah it's coming. This is something that everyone's been waiting for. Yeah it's coming. Right turn this off. Tell me where you wanna go Tell me where you wanna go on the bus tonight Tell me where you wanna go on the bus tonight Tell me where you wanna go on the bus tonight On the bus tonight So, we've just got off the H14, we've done a little bit of walking, not too much, just crossed a roundabout basically and we're now at another bus stop waiting for H12.

Take us one or two stops just to save us walking. Oh funnily enough from this bus stop Paul you can also get the H18. Any knowledge about that bus? It's an interesting one and when it's going clockwise it's the N18. When it's going anti-clockwise it's the H19. It does a whole loop it goes kind of through here past there round through Harrow bus station. It's funny though it's called the route, but it's called a different thing on the different rotations. So if it's coming this way, 18, it's going that way, 19. It's a really crisp, crystalline almost evening. Fresh.

And I just wanted to just say a few words, Paul. Go for it. You've got five minutes, about more like three. Out here by the perimeter, there are no shoes. We are stoned, immaculate. That's like Jim Morrison in it. Anyway, one other thing I wanted to say, bloody cars. Is that it?

All right, moving on. No, no. This is Box Tree Lane. What's a box tree? Is that when you get your muff done? Right, okay. No sort of thing. Thanks for that. So another one thing. This stop we're at is a long elms.

Surely an elm is tall because it's a tree you don't get a long one. Maybe it's a path full of elms for a long stretch. You know like a long row of elms trees. Well thanks for clearing that up for me. That's just what I'm presuming but maybe you have your own theories. Why don't you comment below. I reckon it's like a wide elm. That's doing my head in I'm gonna call it long. Well great content Eli. Again, again, out here by the perimeter where are my shoes I'm stoned immaculate. Put that on your fucking inspirational calendar day. Paul, we're not on our main bus now. No we've got one, we're doing a little mini bus.

Just to remind everyone the bus that we're doing for this inaugural Virgin episode of night busing is the N18 everybody, the N18. And we won't be recording the whole route but anything that comes to mind, any instances, we'll find the time to record but we will be moving on to a separate recording player recording system so the quality may change. Don't worry about that I've got some I have some history with this bus I've got some stories to tell. Well that's something to look forward to later in the route but no I'm bored now. Also Paul any other good bus stop names I think we owe it to everyone because Long Ells was a fucking killer. Anyway we're waiting for a bus

that will take us to another bus the N18 which leaves about 60 minutes past midnight and takes us all the way to Trafalgar Square. They come zooming. They do, they come zooming. They think they know the roads. That one's only got one light. Dodge. Dodge. Also, on the H14, there were some news that they weren't big boys. I should tell everyone, Paul is scared that we're going to... We're both a bit scared, but you're more scared than me. That we're going to get assaulted by big boys.

Well, obviously, if we do, no one will hear this footage. Because if we do, then it's the end of the whole series series isn't it? Because we're not going to do it again. I don't want to do it. Oh here's the bus. Right okay, coming back to you when we reach our starting point for the N80. Here's the H12. Right well here we are, bus stop WK. WKD. Yeah. Party stop this is the initial this is it officially the first stop and we are getting the first N18 of the whole night aren't we Paul? We are we're getting the very first one to leave here. That's apt isn't it for the virgin episode of night busing everything is clean and virginal about

this everything is unbesmirched and I feel like the crystalline night has got me all a dreaming, a dreaming of a bus. Shut up. N18 the route starts here and apparently it will take us 74 minutes to get to Trafalgar Square. But we both assume that you can knock at least 20 minutes off that for the time of night. It's a long day night isn't it? Yeah. So we're going to be passing through such places as like well first of all Harrow, Sudbury, the bus originally, Kensil Green, the N18, Boyle Oak, Baker Street, Piccadilly, Trafalgar. That's it in a nutshell.

When it first came out, I believe in 1984, and Wembley as well. The route started in 1984 and it used to, when it first started it only travelled from Sudbury so if we got got it when it first started, if we were doing a podcast back in 84, we wouldn't be able to get it from here. Well no, the normal 18 anyway runs that route and it ends at Sudbury. So the N18 goes past that now.

It does now, but I think when it was first introduced, it just ran from Sudbury, just like the day 18. Now at this point in the podcast, you're thinking this is very dry, they haven't said spoff or wank chips or nothing yet. We're not going to do that. No today is a solemn recollection we're night busing and we're not fussing. Just another observation Paul if you recall we got on a bus stop just now called Long Elms and then we got off on a bus stop with exactly the same name, Long Elms, three stops on. That's how long it was? And that is a Long Elm isn't it?

All I'm saying is there's only one explanation for that. For one, that's an anomaly that's never happened to me before. I've never experienced that. I thought it was in a crazy time loop thing. I thought it was in a crazy time loop thing. Like we were stuck in a crazy time loop thing. I thought I was in a crazy time loop thing, like we were stuck in a, you know, in a crazy time loop and we go to long elms, the long night elms of the soul. Like in a loop, the loop, the long looping elms. I've got a case of looping elms anyway. Anyway, shut up. No, and also on that second bus a man with his infant daughter who should

have been in bed got on and they were waiting at this stop with us. I thought they were going to be with us the whole night. I was thinking would that be an interesting development in the story for this episode but I'm glad it's not now. As long as there are no big boys giving us trouble. Yeah there's no big boys but anyway here we go we're just gonna we've got about another seven minutes or so so we're just gonna wait it out. we did manage to get some provisions I have a Red Bull for you thank you I have a Red Bull for me we're gonna be supping it also yeah

Cockaracha Cockaracha what's that? We've got a little what? A little Hennessy I need to have a little drink only when we think this is going to be successful. I mean, it hasn't turned up yet. Or if we have to use it as barter to get out of a sticky situation.

Give it to a big boy. God, what if that happens? This won't be funny anymore. It won't be. We're not going to ever do it again. Let's try not to get into any trouble with big boys. Let's just rest this one out and wait for the bus. Rather than talking for the next 10 minutes about Atteneyan nothing. So we're here here we're here

WKD stop and that is it I believe Harrow Bus Garage. A Harrow wheeled. Yeah. Is that where we are in the wheeled end? Oh look there's St Luke's just across the road from St Luke's where you've picked up many records. A platter yeah that we've done on the show Paul. It's a favorite shop that some good board games in there. They've got Wenzels. Wenzels is like a cancer in Northwest London isn't it? Growing up for me it was always Sayers, same thing different name. Is that still in existence? I hope so, I don't know. Maybe if you're in the Northwest you can confirm that for me. I think it is but I'll probably think they've been bought out by Greggs. Anyway Greggs is like a behemoth in the world of snack bakeries.

Greggs is the McDonald's of the Wenzel's world. Here we go, we'll see you a bit later when we finally begin our journey. Well we're on we're on the N18 going south we've just left the station and Eli we already got into trouble. Yes I took a few at your urging yeah I took a few shots of it as it was pulling up and then the driver was like why are you taking photos you didn't get my face. He seemed okay though. Yeah he seemed cool but I did absolutely throw you under the bus by saying my mate just loves

buses. Well I kind of do. Yeah you do. What do you think of the bus? It's pretty standard, nothing flashy about this. It's going to get us very long. Did you stop the timer? Yes. Alright cool, so it's 12.19 now. We're about a minute and a quarter into the journey. It was a minute late from 16. It was one minute late. We started the journey

from, are you starting it though from when we got on? That's not really a problem though, is it? No. Not a big issue for us. Anyway. We're off. Ding ding. Right, so that's it. If anything, we won't need to say a lot, but we'll come back throughout the journey at certain points and say shit, right? Okay.

Yeah. I'm looking forward to this. Ding ding, off we go. This is a new night bus for me. I mean, I have taken it the other way. Eeyore! When I used to be a croupier I used to get this because I used to live in Kenzal Rides which will go through about halfway down. Yeah that's my story. All right well today we're journeying far past your end point. There's another church there.

That's a lovely church. Passanesso. Anyway, you don't need to know all this. You haven't seen many of those in central London, do you? No, we're now heading into Harrow and Wildstone. So that's our first kind of naughty big boys we might get on at that point. No, we've been free of naughty big boys and I reckon it's going to be very quiet. We'll see. The journey's only just begun. They've already started with us being told off for being bus nerds.

Oh, here we go. See you in a bit. The N18 keeps trucking. We've just passed... we've gone through Harrow now. And we've entered the borough of Brent. Yes, we have. Just entered the borough of Brent. Yes we have. Just entered the borough of Brent. Our next big stop is Wembley, Wembley central but between them we're weedling our way through the back streets of Brent. We've both cracked our red balls. Did you just say that? Yeah no I didn't. Okay thank you. Gay ways. I just want to say gay ways. That's it. It's a shop called Gay Ways. That's it.

That's all it is. That's about That's the length and breadth of that gag. It's not even a gag, it just says Gayways. We've seen quite a few Muslims celebrating. We think it's the end of Ramadan. Yeah, I hope that doesn't paint us as ignorant if it's not. And it was just something else. But it was nice to hear the people looking and cheering and being happy. Beeping their horn at 28 minutes past 12

We didn't do it for long. It's just a beep beep beep and they were done. I'm tell you what poor Yeah, although I do have some urgency in the bowel region, which is inevitable that one of us will have some of that Some say it's becoming a trend But it's me this time who has a bit of a grumble in the old tumble. It was you last time in Leicester as well. Yes, but it was you who was on the Heath that time, wasn't it? No! I don't think I've ever had to drop a bird. Oh shut up!

I've had to pee a load of times. No, that time that... just recently when we went to Hampstead Heath and we couldn't get into Golders Green, remember? When we went to Brent Cross. Oh yeah, I had to bite down hard on that one. I'm sending the Chutney back up the wrong way up the tunnel. The train's going back to the station. A muscular effort to push it back up. Anyway despite that this it's really delivered for me already this night bus Paul I have to say. It's urban it's

suburban liminal. It's very suburb liminal oh yes subliminal subliminal it's I love night buses for that very feeling because not only do they go through weird liminal areas of the city I want to make sure we're recording not only do they go through sort of weird liminal areas of the city but they're a liminal time of day as well a strange no time and an almost eternal time an eternal moment on the night bus I love that feeling of being lost in London on a night bus and being an unfamiliar surroundings in the dark right a bit pissed boring yeah oh shut up boring this is meant to be more lyrical anyway this is where it originally started from well and ended yes and this is where we're recreating the

the original n18 route which is 84 that's a long time for a route it's a very established route this isn't it i don't know you can get all the way to the west end from where you live basically. That's true. Well after midnight yeah. But I don't, I'm not familiar with any of this. Where are we now? Well we're passing through Sudbury and then we're going to head down towards Wembley. I wouldn't go to Sudbury. Well now you're in it.

That's the Sudbury Cafe. Well you're in it. I'm in Sudbury yeah, I got that. There'll be some night clubs and this is where naughty boys might get on. But it's Monday so who knows. Naughty boys. It's going to be very quiet. It's very quiet now. All of a sudden that was weird. Alright, I'm going to stop now because this has unsettled me.

Okay. Over and out. We'll see you soon. Over and out. We'll see you soon. Okay, so I've given you number one out of all. Oh, look at this. Now, Paul. Yeah? You were right. Because it did get quite busy around Wembley, didn't it? A little bit busy.

The top deck here, we're on the front of the top deck, also known as the... Top deck. Pretend to drive the... Bus, yeah. Well, no, that's really the one thing to our right. I pretend to be the bus driver and mentally, in my mind, drive the bus. Sometimes using hand gestures, but not always. Erm, most of the people who got on have already got off the bus.

Yeah, just a few stops. This is a very unfamiliar part of London to me now. Where are we, it says? We're just south of... We're south Wembley, essentially. There you go. Oh, we have to mention, there was an old man and old lady who got on with a big bag of meat. They had a large amount of meat out in the night. Night meat. One of those Ikea bags that you get to carry stuff.

And you saw this, I didn't see it. Was it mint? Full of mint. How could you tell it was mint? Because I recognised... The shape of mint. No, I told you, didn't I? They had this polystyrene white bottom and then pink meat and then the wrapping. Wow. Yeah, that of mint. No, I told you, didn't I? There's like, they had this polystyrene white bottom, and then like pink meat, and then the wrapping.

Wow. Yeah, that's mint. Yeah, I told you. Now, Paul, have you noticed... Have you noticed the phrase, thick as mints, being said a lot recently? Absolutely never. You're so unabsorbed. No, I just never heard thick as mints before.

I'm telling you, thick as mints is gaining popularity as a way of saying someone's stupid. Where did you hear it? All over the place. Yeah? Yeah. They're thick as mints. She's thick as mints. He's thick as mints. Never heard of thick as mints before.

You will. They'll start popping out of you. Right. Why would they be transporting a load of mints in the middle of the night? Christ knows. Oh, that was the other thing I wanted to say as well. There was a road we had passed called Windborne Way, and all I could think was Windborne Way, Windborne Way, and then in the jungle.

It was also World Way, wasn't it? Baby, baby, you're a wild way. There's lots of songs to remind me on this route what's the beacon come from? Oh we hit a road bump? No. I think someone the bus drivers just giving some travel advice to someone. No, fair enough. So this is more towards Acton, which I don't know very well. Yeah. Kensal Green, it says here. We're not in Kensal Green.

No, it said this is, we're going that way. Towards Kensal Green? Yeah. Okay. I don't think we're going to go to Acton, we're going to go to Kensal Green? Yeah. Okay. I don't think we're going to go to Acton. We're going to go to Kensal Green. Because the bus stop says towards Kensal Green or Acton.

Yeah. I don't know, Canton, at all. There's some kind of hubbub. Some kind of travel... I hope it isn't the dreaded Big Boys. No. I think it's just people trying to figure out a route. Oh, it's the people getting off with the mince with the mince really the mince people are getting off Oh, he's hidden it with the with the blanket born with that blanket. There's mince. Maybe just cheap night mint somewhere and night mince

That's a new TV show don't waste your money on mince you buy John the day now some special night mince Perhaps he's a restaurateur. Yeah, maybe. Or maybe he's got a big family he has to feed. Who like nothing but raw mints. Why would you choose the night to transport the mints though? Hefting mints through the night. Maybe he knew that during the day, travelling with mints. It's like Sorcerer. You know that film Sorcerer?

Yes. Forget that chocolate jell-o-knight. It's full of mints. You've got to get it there before it goes off. Before it spoils, yeah, before it goes that kind of weird browny-gray colour. They still cook and serve that shit. Oh yeah, no, I know. That's the thing with beef, it lasts a long time, doesn't it? As long as it hasn't gone green, they'll serve it.

Yeah. Yeah, it's grim. I thought it put me off school dinners as a kid. Tavistock Road. Oh, I think I'm starting to recognise this is the outskirts of Kensal Rise now. You didn't like mince at school then? No, the food was shit at school. And that's what put me off meat because the meat was so low quality. Yeah. And it was disgusting.

It's grim, no, low quality meat. I once had a hamburger with a bubble in it. Think about that. It had like a bubble. Of air? Something. It was a normal burger like you get in a birds eye pack of six or whatever. But for some reason the skin bubbled on the top a little interrupt. No, go for it, you do it all the time. This is Neesden. Halston.

Yeah. We're going to go past... Are you fool? I came up to the Jobcentre up here. Way in the past. Nightingale Road. Yeah. We're going to go past...

What? Willsden Junction station. See? Jobcentre. Didn't I tell you? Jobcentre Plaza. I've been in there. You know, you've pointed out nothing but jobcentres on this route so far. I've pointed out two jobcentres, one of which was a personal... Not interested in them. ..in my personal history.

I'm not interested in your jobcentres. Lots of people getting off. Getting off? Getting off. All going home, looks like they've got a nice takeaway with them. Yeah. You know that weird route you can take to Wilson Junction where you have to go through the long passage? Yes. Outdoors? That's up here?

Along the track. Yeah, that's just up here. Do we do an episode around here then? Not in Kensal Rise, no I don't think so. Now there used to be a venue right at the end here, do you see right here? Yeah. On the corner. This one, where's the supermarket now? That one. Oh that one? Yeah, it looks like it's totally shut down now. See look there. Oh wait, I've never been to Willson Junction this way before. Willson Junction, yeah. Coming the other way, yeah. You see it? Yeah.

It's the Spaghetti Junction of trains and... It's mad round here. This is just before Kensal Rise. You don't think I've ever been over it? I've always been through it. That venue by the way, I pointed out because I DJ'd there once. Me and Virgil DJ'd there once. For a night called... The size doesn't matter. I don't want those scrubs, mate. I'm not getting off here.

Wyrmwood Scrubs is down there. The famous prison. Why to call that? Yeah. It's on Scrubs Lane. Wyrmwood Scrubs. I didn't know that. So what's Wyrmwood come from there? I have no idea.

It's ancient. It's an ancient site, though. It's a route, isn't it? Wyrmwood, you call? I have no idea. It's ancient. It's an ancient site there. So Root is a Wyrmwood thing. So we deejayed there for an hour called Size Doesn't Matter. And you know what's called Size Doesn't Matter? I'm going to guess it's sexy or something. No. It's only because we're only allowed to play seven inch singles. It was really fun, actually.

I thought you said you were deejaying a kind of disco night sex party or something. No. But you did do that anyway didn't you? I did do that but that was Camden. A bondage thing? Yes, that was Camden. That was fun. No, you said it wasn't, you said it was weird.

Well it was... Wait, was I there one night? I seem to remember seeing someone in the corner who was all wrapped up in rope. Yes. She seemed bored. There was people wrapped up in rope. Totally different venue though. Yeah No, I know that's different. I was just saying I think

I used to live up here. Yeah, just round the corner from you How long ago was that? years and years ago When I was working in the casino Because I used to take this bus. That's my experience with this bus. He's did all the way into town Yeah Because I used to take this bus, that's my experience with this bus. All the way into town? Yeah, my casino was in Piccadilly, the Golden Nugget in Piccadilly, it doesn't exist anymore. It was in the site where they now have the Crystal Maze experience.

Oh, well. That on Shoresbury Avenue. Or Charing Cross Road is it? Yes, I know what you mean. Next to the Rainforest Cafe or whatever it is. Yes. Which is a surprise, that still exists. I don't think it is, I don't think it does.

I think it's called something else. You can literally see the house just up there that I used to live in. Up there. Yes, we did do a podcast around here. Did we? Yes, because we're now going to pass by the... the... Yes, because we're now going to pass by the cemetery, one of the Big Seven. Oh, that's right.

Yeah, up here on the right, Kendall Green Cemetery. The dangerous Davies. Yeah, that's right. That's right. So we are retreading the dangerous Davies route. So we are we are we treading the dangerous statement through There's that fancy fossil shop here up on the left good ammonite as well If you recall yes, yeah, this used to be my neighborhood. I live around here strange neighborhood

Sort of slightly dead and weird Some Mary's is the top bit isn't it it's such a large cemetery that they've got a different cemetery within a cemetery as St Mary's, isn't it? Oh, yeah, this is where we ended the episode. You mean to say I could have got a bus from here that episode? Oh, there's a box. Yes. You could have, but you did, didn't you? No. What did we do?

I got, like, four trains and it was really awkward. I could have just waited half an hour and got on a bus from here. Well, they've got the 18 to Sunbury. And then I could have got on a bus from here. Yeah, so you could have... Look, there's the fossil place. Oh, God, yeah. And we're going to go past Kendzel Rise tube. KENZEL GREEN STATION.

Kendzel Green, sorry. Kendzel Rise is a short walk from here. So we are passing through dangerous Davis County. Totally. Look at this hostel. That's a funky hostel, isn't it? Yeah, that's the... Salon Brasileir. It does the job. Yeah.

It does the job. It looks funky as well. Funky. This is the old wall that's falling apart up here, the graveyard. Were they fixed that? I think they are, yeah. And you can see the platform of the Kens of Green Tube there. Yeah, exciting stuff. From the top deck, I'm glad we've got the top deck.

Yeah. Oh, we're getting in now, getting in glad we got the top deck. Yeah. Well, we're getting in now. Getting in. Going down the Harrow Road. This isn't Harrow Road. It is. Is it? Yep. Is it? Yes, it absolutely is. We're on the Harrow Road.

Oh, there's a very gnarly gnarly road. Well, you can jump the wall there. I hope this comes out. Should do. Yeah. You can jump the wall there. The walls all fallen down there though. So I presume they're going to replace that. Probably this looks like a new wall here doesn't it? Oh. What? That's a nice pub. This one just round the corner as well. The Paradise is round here. Paradise by way of Kensal Green. What's the Paradise? It's just a famous pub and restaurant.

But it used to be owned by Colombo who owned the Blues Kitchen. Colombo? That's what they call the Colombo group. Oh, okay. Not Colombo, the famous TV detective. But he's not a real person. Then you could have had a drink called One Last Drink or something. Just one more thing. One Last Drink. He's a drinker, isn't he, Colombo? In fact, you could make it a secret thing where, like, if you go to the bar and you say,

can I have one more drink, you get it free, but then you're not allowed to have any more drinks at night. That'd be a good one, wouldn't it? Why would it be a good one? Oh, we're in a different borough, into Westminster. Been through Brent. Into Westminster. We've been through Brent, into Westminster. And we're going past Fifth Avenue.

Which is a funny American you'll see now. Look there, Fifth Avenue. I think we've covered this in that episode. We have. Sorry if you heard that guys. The canal is just there. Because this is where we walk down to get onto the canal. Yes, it's just there, look. You can see it. To our right is just there. Because this is where we walked out to get onto the canal.

Yes, it's just there, look, you can see it. To our right is the canal. And where that weird spider man statue was. Yes. I didn't even know. It's weird, all these shops that have been no longer shops up here. The one thing we didn't find though, was that little patch pathway that went down to the canal. No, I don't think that exists anymore or was in a different part of town.

I mean that's easily something you just wrote into a book, you didn't have to bother researching it. I'd love to have known where that was. I know, but you'll never know, that's the type of thing that we just lost to time because it's not a major piece of cinematic history. No, exactly, but also that's more likely. There's a bridge. It was more likely that that was bricked up at some point, or knocked through, or built into a whole different building. Yeah, absolutely.

But it would be hilarious if we saw it right now. Now, all these little, there's like all, there's first through fifth avenue and higher, I think, all of these are numbered, which is very unusual, like they say for London, isn't it? To have numbered avenues like that. Why do you think that was around here? I don't know it was just they're like Victorian era homes they're really quite nice low-rise homes they must have just built the roads that maybe cleared a slum and they just said well we're just

gonna number it. Oh fair enough. So this wouldn't have been any bombed out areas around there during the war would it? No no that those have been any bombed out areas around there during the war, would it? No, no, those roads weren't bombed out, they're definitely Victorian areas. This is too far out from the centre, I guess. We come down to the bottom and then we go through the Paddington Basin. Paddington Bear? Paddington Basin.

Oh. Paddington Bay. Paddington Basin. This is what I like though, proper little high streets where there's all weird little shops. Yeah, it does have quite a lot of character, arrow road round here. See that guy who was just kicking his tires steps back me while there's a bus heading his way and it's like how can you have not have that awareness? I love these Estates here, this is very modernist. This is Westminster registration office apparently Maybe not those flats, is it? No

See we've got to do French tacos. You see the flashing French tacos? Did you mention the last time as well? Yes, I did. Why is it a French taco? Because it's like a... It's a whole thing. It's a new fast food item.

That's annoying that it's flashing. That it's flashing, yeah. I presume it's not meant to. French tacos is only in the plural as well apparently. You'd say, I'd like a French tacos please. And yet they complain about the bastardization of their language. No, I don't think it's got anything to do with the French. No, I know, but still. I'm still blaming them.

Notting Hill Gate's up there. Oh, right. It's all posh down there. We're getting towards the end of our journey, mate. Yeah. And I've got the stopwatch still going. The sign said it was going to take 74 minutes. I don't think it's been that long, has it?

What time is it now? We've been on the bus for nearly an hour, though. Oh, really? Yeah, seven minutes past. And we got on it, what, 17 minutes? 18 minutes. 18, so yeah. Yeah, 17, 18.

So it's been 50 minutes. That's still about par. Yeah, it could be another 24 minutes or so, couldn yeah. Yeah 17, 18. So it's been 50 minutes. That's still about par. Yeah, could be another 24 minutes or so, couldn't it? Could be. Oh, where am I going to find a toilet? You ain't gonna find a place to lay your brown, lay your brown down. Lay the brown down. You ain't gonna find a place. That's a good blues track title. You ain't gonna find a place to lay your brown down. Okay, if you're allowed to say that, I'm allowed to say...

What was it? I don't know. Fuck the turtle with her gherkin. I can tell you that turtle's hurting. I think you've wasted it right now. I think you've wasted it. I'll do it again. Yeah, I know you will.

Wait for next week's episode. When you can really, really, you know... Let rip with the Hurtin... Hurtin, Gherkin, Tur... Tur... Turtl... Turtl... Turtl, Hurtl, Curd. And yet, no matter how hard you try, you will never, ever, come up with something as beautiful as multi-fibbage

in your existence. Oh, come on, don't try that. Beloved... Beloved... Stop with your beloved bullshit. Oh, come on, don't try that. Beloved, beloved. Stop with your beloved bullshit. Oh, here we go, here's the Westway. Are you ever going to fly over, isn't that? Yeah, this is Royal Oak. Yeah.

On your left up here is Paddington Green, which they made a reality TV show about, remember? Did they? Yeah, this area, I believe it's Paddington Green. What do you mean by that? Do you mean like they? They did one of those community-based reality shows, I believe.

Someone lives in a posh house, someone lives in a poor house. Yeah, one of those sort of things, yeah. One works at the factory, whatever, whatever. I love this bridge, yeah. The old iron bridge. Yeah. It's great. That's where we were, Joe, that time we walked this way,

remember? Yeah. And you wanted to fuck my mom, I seem to remember you saying. I was very drunk. Look at this two level thing. I love this building. I think it's the old fire station or something. It's a beautiful modernist thing, yeah.

That's an old fire station. I don't know. It seems more like a... I can't remember, look at it. It's really nice though, isn't it? Now we're hitting Little Italy. Seriously, what came first? The flyover or the building?

It feels like they might have been built at the same time. I think they were around a similar time. Yeah, that's right, it's a great building. Yeah, that's kind of ugly. It's all curved, it's nice. Now that was built before the flyover. Yeah, I was just waking up one morning and seeing all this motorway. I've got a really early childhood memory of just around here there used to be a motorhead,

like a billboard which had a painted motorhead logo on it. Yeah, it was there for years. Was it because they played it at Hammersmith? It's right down here. Remember they famously did the Hammersmith Apollo gig? This used to be... What? This is Paddington Green here. That church. You see that church there? Yeah. And this. St Mary's Church. Yes.

Weirdly. I had to shoot at that. They had to send Mary's up in Harrow. We've gone from St Mary's to St Mary's. And Long Elm to Long Elm. Yeah. Yeah, now we're hitting, this is, we're proper, inner city now. This is the inner city. We've gone from St Mary's up in Harrow. We've gone from St Mary's to St Mary's. And Long Elm to Long Elm. Yeah.

Yeah, now we're in a city now. This is central. These are the holding cells. This is a big police station, notorious police station. Why is it notorious? Because they held people here. It's closed, look. This was a huge met police office.

Oh really? Lease office, yeah. Oh. How long have they been abandoned for? At least 10, 15 years I think. How have they done nothing with this basin? Because it's, you know. Finally we've gone to two long elms and we're going past Edgeware Road which has two stations called Edgeware Road.

Yeah, you tried to jump the bollards of both. Did I? Yeah and again like I like to say you got spitty drunk and said I want to have sex with my mum. I didn't say I wanted to have sex with your mum I told you to. No no, you said I'll fuck you mum. That was exactly what you said. No I was saying as in an insult. It's another reason why booze is an evil evil thing especially when it comes to the likes of you. Mental half-breaks you can't deal with it. Sorry. Mental half-breaks? I thought that said Ganon, but it says Gany.

Well, I don't know what Gany is. Is it a music thing? No, they're handbags. Maybe we should do a load of Ganon handbags. bags. Maybe we should do a load of Ganonan bags. It's a pretty spectacular route I have to say. It's pretty good isn't it? It's almost the exact route my taxi takes getting home after work.

Yes I'm much more familiar with this route going the other way of course because like I say when I used to work in the casino I got it all the way out to Kensal Green. Yeah. We never passed Kensal Green. Constantinople. Marylebone. Why was she called Mary the Bone? Mary the Bone? Mary the Bone?

Yeah. Well she was French. There's the French popping up again. I'd like to stay here one time. The Landmark. Why? It just looks grand, doesn't it? Oh, there's my bus stop. I've been changing up my route to getting into work. Rather than getting back to Metline all the way to Great Portland

Street, I get the Overland at Marlborough. It's not called the Overland. Nothing is called the Overland. I call it that. And it annoys me deeply. And maybe that's why, psychologically, I carry on doing it. I don't want to correct myself because doing so upsets me.

If you keep calling it the Overland, there's going to be no Overground, which is what it's actually called. And that's not even the overground. Well, it should just be called the ground. It's the main line. This is main line. It should just be called the ground. Or on the ground train. No, they're going to have separate lines, aren't they?

All trains are just called grounds. Grounds. Anyway, I get the bottom there. I think it's the 428 or something. Yeah. And then it goes and takes me get the bus from there. I think it's the 428 or something. Yeah. And it goes, it takes me all the way to work. From here? Okay, so you get the train to there. Because I can get a coffee from that place or if I'm really hungry I can go Burger King. Yeah, it's nice to be able to stop and get a coffee, isn't it? It also just breaks up that fucking journey. I've done almost non-stop now for three years. It's nice to mix it up. three years. It's nice to mix it up. We're gonna go past Baker Street, Madame Two Swords, look kids. Yeah, didn't this used to be a florist or something? Yes. It's

quite a famous forest. Flame, flame, flameous forest. No this is you're thinking the other side. It's not this way. Oh further up by Cheddar Green. What's it called? Cottage, Cheddar Cottage. Swiss Cottage. Swiss Cottage. Cheddar Cottage. Swiss Cottage, Cheddar Cottage. Swiss Cheddar Cottage. Provolone Cottage. Cottage, Cottage.

Free Street. I like it. Yeah. I think it's residents or on top of it. Yeah. It's a huge block isn't it? It's got a huge... Yeah. It's got a huge...

Yeah. It's got a huge... Yeah. It's got a huge... Yeah. It's got a huge... Yeah. It's got a huge...

Yeah. It's got a huge... Yeah. It's got a huge... Yeah. It's got a huge... Yeah. It's got a it. Yeah. Are all these residences up on the top or they... It's a huge block, isn't it? It's got a huge... ...carbuncle. How much it costs to live on one of those flights?

A lot. I would have thought, like, I don't know... Madame Tissot's? Yes, yeah. That used to be the planetarium. Have you ever been? Yeah, I went as a child. I went to the planetarium a couple of times as well when it was that. See, I've never felt the need to want to go to the

It wasn't that I was begging my parents to take me, I just went. Yeah, that's fair enough. My point though is that I don't see the appeal. I like the London dungeon bit, you know, the horror. That was the most appealing. I think really what it is, is 50, 60, 70 years ago when they were a thing, it was fun to see Clark Gable in the flesh because you never saw him on the screen. I know, but even that it seems a bit... Yeah, but there's more of a rationale to go oh you can have a picture taken at a clock

able even though it's not really able. Yeah, yeah. Well now you could just on your home computer just project your... Well on your computer you could just be, you could put yourself into it. Yeah you could literally... Frankly my dammit I don't give a damn. Here we go, look, BT Tower. I wonder how many of these routes that we end up doing will spot the BT Tower at the same stage. There's no buses that go there, no one goes there.

I go there. You go to the BT Tower? Yeah. Well, let's go to the top of it. This is all very familiar to you now. Great, now I can't forget it. Great Portland Street there. Paul, you use that a lot, don't you? Is there a stinky bit to Great Portland Street? There's a stinky end, isn't there? When you go in, there's a bit of exposed whatever, and I'm sure that's where the shit pipes are of London.

If you stand at a certain part of the platform, it absolutely honks. Oh, look, this is merely a White House. It's an interesting building. Why? Just look at this. Is it a 1930s kind of place? And it's all weirdly star-shaped and it just looks...

It's got a bit of a sort of the shining, bicoubrig vibe. I quietly disagree, but fine. Oh, well he's all being a bit naggy now, aren't we? No, I'm just saying, I don't agree. We're all being a bit naggy. I'm allowed to be disagreeable. You're not allowed to disagree with me. I don't agree. We're all being a bit naggy. I'm allowed to disagree. You're not allowed to disagree with me. I can't.

Aren't you? Roto. Well, still we're at the vinegar stroke to this journey now. We certainly are. It's been an hour since we've been here. It's been an hour, OK. Sorry I was wrong. It wasn't 20 minutes shorter than the 74.

We've still got 10 minutes haven't we? I think we've probably got around 10 minutes. You set your timer didn't you? I did, so we'll know exactly. You'll be glad to hear that the urgency and the balance has calmed down somewhat. Good, that's good. You swallowed your soul. Made a deal with the devil. Yeah, didn't you? You know how that ends. Burning in hell.

No, classy, classy route, BNAT. Not a showy route, you know what I mean? Well, it didn't have that much spectacular vistas, but that's nice when you get into London, you know, and you hit the big city, sort of. And now we're deep in the West End. Again, this is the route I would take into work at this point. We'll probably go past the BBC now.

We will now, yeah. Again, this is the route I would take into work at this point. We want to go past the BBC now. Yeah. I used to work down round here in my gap yard. Did you? Yeah. I was a hospital reporter, not a porter, I served food in a private hospital. Oh, right.

There was these little galley kitchens with dumb waiters, ivory floor. They'd send the food up and then I'd give it to them. Wow. What kind of people were there? What kind of illnesses? People having, you know, rich people having heart surgery and stuff. And there was a cosmetic surgery floor as well. It's all, you know. Yeah, Harley Street-like. Harley Street. It is Harley, it was on Harley Street. Are we? Yes, just over there. Oh yeah. This is Harley Street around here.

Yeah, no, no, yeah. Um, it was called the Harley Street Clinic, I believe. The hospital. Well that would make a lot of sense. A multi-floor, big sort of, you know. Yeah, and down here is Oxford Street where I would get the n18 in the days of yore in the days of yore and days of being a croupier you got a break every 45 minutes and I would you know what I'd do most of those breaks go and eat a huge smoke and then go eat a

huge bacon bat oh from that kitchen that was over stocked with food. It was always there. Yeah. You could have a fry up eight times a night. Yeah it wasn't good. Is that where you started putting on your weight? Well I mean it's a fair question. No it wasn't. When was that? It was in my 40s, I'm a man in my 40s. It's known as middle-aged spread okay and then... Yeah but they're spread. You do well not to go on about it because you'll hurt my feelings. Well maybe it's your only feelings are hurt because you don't like talking about the fact that you're throwing your elf. This is not what night-busting is meant to be Paul. It is, it's raw. It's raw. It's not raw. Well I'm concerned about your

race. You're nagging out. I'm concerned about it. Okay, I'll lose some weight. Jesus. Do it now. Right now. Well, don't tempt me. See, this is where I work. Yes. In fact, that office there on the corner, you see that one on the curve? Oh yeah. That's literally my studio's there. Well. I thought I just saw the comedian Matt Tyson. Did you? Thought I did. It looked very much like him. But the bus had turned in my head. Well, he might be out. What would he be doing out here?

Comedy stuff? Somewhere? The Phoenix is around here. We did comedy, didn't we? Remember the Phoenix? We did... Phoenix is just down there. Yeah. Geek Night Out. And the Geekatorium. And the Geekatorium. Back in the day.

We're on Oxford Circus. Yeah. We're very close now to our final destination. We're minutes moments away now, we're passing through Oxford Circus. Now you have to get back to Harrow tonight. Yeah, I know. I don't know which one of us has got it worse. I think it's both the same.

We both have to get back to our respective homes. We do. And then we have to get up early. I could just get on this and go back. We're doing digitiser tomorrow. I know it'll be an hour, though. I should get a taxi. How long will it be in a taxi? 40 minutes as opposed to 70. It's probably worth it, isn't it? I've got a much earlier start than you.

Because basically in a few hours time I'm meant to be at the studio with Bifo to film or digitise the stuff. Instead I thought it was wise to record night busses. Well night busses, it's in the can now. It is, and you know what? I hope people have enjoyed this. It's been a pleasant adventure. That is the Apple Store. Apart from a few people playing TikTok

unnecessarily loud on the phone, making it sound like, um. I think it was the meat people, wasn't it? I think it might have been the meat folk. I just can't stand the ADHD of it. Yeah. The fact that in three seconds you're gonna hear a bit of music and then the next minute you're gonna hear a parrot scream and the next minute it's clanging. But there is something even worse that comes round the corner. Apparently there was a tic tac channel called the clanging pans channel or something whatever it was. Just fucking noise. There'll be something else even more annoying along in a couple of years, probably, won't

there? Yeah. No one's going to get on these buses now. Why would you want to get on a bus that takes you one stop? Because you're a tourist and you don't know what's going on? True. No, no one is. He's tried to stop and the bus driver's just completely denied him.

You can walk, he's thinking. Hamleys. Oh. Hamleys, boy. To the left of us. Jokers to the right. Here I am. On the 918 with you.

Well, you started out with nothing, et cetera. I haven't been down this road in ages, either. Regent Street. Yeah. Kind of dead and soulless, really, isn't it, inside? It's like it's a charm that you can, it's grand. It's still grand looking. It looks grander at this time of night, if you ask me. Yeah, it looks good at this time of night.

Piggity-ditty circus. You know, we are passing through. Thanks to future says LG. That's a brightening though. It's just terrible. It has none of the character of the digital display of the advertising. Turn it down a little bit this time, who needs to see it? Just put the dimmer on. Is that that fucking bear from the beer adverts? Yeah, Hofmeister. They're advertising Hofmeister. It really is the 80s all over again. Mate, we're stuck in an endless loop of late 20th century culture.

I haven't seen that bear used in advertising since like literally 82. Yeah, they just said let's reboot the fucking bear, didn't they? We've got no ideas about anything to do anything. Nothing works. What's that thing that we tried, was momentarily successful, then got old real quick and everyone vaguely remembered so we can trade on the nostalgia value of it? Look, I do love Hofmeister.

Does a bear sit in the woods? Do I love Hofmeister? Oh, do I love Hofmeister? Yes, does a bear sit in the woods. They've given him leather kegs. Why would you give a bear leather pants? Well, they'd probably get quite sweaty, what, with all the hair, the fur. And the hairy balls.

Oh, we're going down Haymarket. Have you ever been to the Odeon Haymarket down here? Beautiful old cinema. It's really lovely, yeah. It's kind of like a hidden secret, that one, isn't it? Yeah. Oh, terminates here. Oh. Please take your belongings with you.

All right, well, that's it. There we go. They're flashing the lights. Hey, market. Charles the Second Street. All right, this is it. This bus terminates here. Please take your belongings with you.

All right, we'll take our belongings. Oh, weird death knell. Hey, all right, we'll go for it. Got everything? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Apparently even though I drank all of that, it was enough to leak on my kex. Have you dribbled your Red Bull? Only on the kex. On my kex. Here we are, we're out. We're out.

Right. Look at the stopwatch. Oh yeah, look at the stopwatch. Right, just put that in the bin. An hour and eight. One hour and eight. Which is? 74 minutes it said.

Yeah. So it was four minutes over. No. No. Four minutes under. Six minutes under. Six minutes under. Here we go, we got there in the end.

Let's get this. minutes it said. Yeah. So it was four minutes over. No. No. Four minutes under. Six minutes under. Six minutes under. Here we go, we got there in the end. Let's get down the corner. Let's go out the corner. Oh. Let's not walk alongside Eli. Right, so I thought that was Joe then. That was so strange. I honestly thought that was Joe. I really thought it was Joe. I thought Joe was out doing a gig. Where should I get a taxi from? Trafalgar Square. What are you doing now? The podcast is still recording. I'm getting a bus from Trafalgar Square, aren't I? You're getting there to 29? Yeah. And where are you getting it to? To where I live. Oh yeah. In that case I might go a few stops with you right? Okay fine. Just to get somewhere out of the town so I can get an Uber. Okay. All

right. Well listen should we wrap this up then? Yeah. Hopefully these lapel mics are still recording, let me just double check. Oh look there's a sofa someone's dumped. Nice. Yeah we're still recording mate. One two. I've got a red light on. Yeah. That's a good sign. That means we're recording. That heat looks so like Joe. Very good.

So we finished just outside the Haymarket Theatre where currently Only Fools and Horses is on. Oh, is that where you watched it? Yeah. It was enjoyable, bit of fun. Look, there's that cinema. Oh, right there? cinema. Oh, right there? Oh yeah. We'll have to figure out when Sean of the Dead, not Sean of the Dead, what was I going to say?

Evil Dead. Evil Dead. Right, listen, let's wrap this up. We've recorded the thing for the last 40 minutes. It's been night-busting people. Thanks for joining us on this journey. Hopefully there'll be more night-buses. Paul, what did you think of the NA team? Solid boot. It's a solid boot. It takes you from the

north west all the way into town quite simply. It was busier than I thought it was going to be but there were no bad boys, there were no big boys, no bad boys. There was a meat folk and their TikTok phone. At one point there was someone playing some really strange music off their phone wasn't it? No it was that guy sat behind you who I'm pretty sure swallowed all of your arse mist when you let off that big guffa. I didn't guff. Someone farted on that roof. It wasn't me. Really? Cos that old guy then sat behind you. You didn't smell that loaf. No.

There was a certain point. Ghost loaf. There was a definite. I mean, I hate to say it, but a proper beefy honk. Now, oh, look, someone's dropped a bunch of Smarties. Smarties. Smarties destruction. I'm taking a picture of that now, because why not? Oh, the smarties. We should wrap this up properly. What are you going to do? What are you going to say?

I'll just say it is a good route. Oh, yeah. Slightly quicker. Dependable. Reasonably straightforward. Not a lot of spectacular views, but some nice architecture. Takes you through parts of London you ain't seen before. Especially, I found fascinating, was the whole bit

just south of Harrow and north of Wembley, didn't it? OK. OK. Yeah, that's fair. Right, well, our first night bus is done. And let's be honest, no horror stories, no shocks, no nothing. Well, look, it's a nice first attempt. We're not back yet. No, true nice first attempt. We're not back yet.

No, true. But I think we can at least call the N18. I think we could back to get arrested. Why? Look. It's not a police van, that. Is it? No.

Night busing one over and out. Well, no, we should rate it. How do we rate it? I would like to give it a kind of letter grade. OK. As in the same letter you'd give to a bus stop. So I would give that. It's a solid C plus. No, C plus, yeah.

C plus, maybe B minus. There wasn't a lot of bad smells or a lot of drunk people or anything like that. Nothing plus, yeah. C plus, maybe B minus. There wasn't a lot of bad smells or a lot of drunk people or anything like that. Nothing offensive, nothing shocking. It was a... I mean, as I say, this is a Monday night, Tuesday morning, it's quiet, there's no thrills, no party animals out there. No. We're walking back to the garrote now. Now, but in terms of planning the next journey, Paul... Well, we'll do that in a little few months, I think.

Yes, but I would like maybe not to just do it on the same day that we're doing the podcast, so I have to sit around your gaff for three hours. What's wrong with my gaff? Nothing. You sat in the warm, you had a smoke cup of tea. No, nothing's wrong with your gaff, it was lovely. My partner was very nice to you, even though you ignored it. Made her feel small and ignorant.

No, I didn't. And you called her a bitch when you were breast. No, I fucking didn't. Shut up. Look, this is the Saravanabar bar. We rarely really hang out. Usually it's like, we've been recording a podcast, Paul. Fuck off now, or I'll eat chips in your bed and cry. All I'm saying is, if we did it on a night that we're not doing the podcast during the day,

we could meet late, you know? Well, I reckon we start our next journey at your neck of the woods then, so you're in charge of the next big route. Okay. Alright? I think it has to be the N29. Oh, that's dark. Which we're going to get tonight.

That could be our empire again. You're going the wrong way. Okay. Well this road closed though, innit? Ooh, there's a policeman there. What's happening? Oh no, there's a police. Does that mean we can't get our bus from here?

It looks that way. I'm going to have to walk up to Tottenham Court Road then. What's going on there? Something's happened. Weird. There's fans. Shall we walk up a bit? Is there a kerfuffle going on? Shall we walk up a bit? Yeah but we're going to have to walk somewhere completely different because you're not going to be able to get a bus coming through here right? No it looks like the roads closed this way. But nothing's come up this way anyway. Oh my god. Oh mate. That could be bad. We've been stung in the arse right at the end. That could be bad. Right at the very end we've

been, well no you have mostly because they could just go get an Uber. Well it says there's an N29. In fact I'm going to go by, you fucking deal with it. No no no I wouldn't do that to you. What's it saying? It says 10 minutes and 29. I think we should walk it, honestly, and you get more options from the top of the road. OK, shall we walk up a bit, yeah? Well, tell you what, let's wrap this up, say goodbye so I can pull all this stuff away. Yeah. All right, so there we go, Night Buston, episode one,

patron exclusive, only spin-off podcast of Cheap Show. Maybe the next one will be more rock and roll, maybe it'll be even more placid and friendly and lovely, but we won't know until we... We should try getting pissed up. Yeah. Well, you've got that Hennessy, which I presume you're going to have right now all by yourself,

right? Well, don't you want to sit? No. I actually really don't. I've got to get up real early. You have to get up early. Yeah, so do I. Save it for the end of the week.

OK. Now just shut up and stop. Let's press stop. Let's sit. Let's say goodbye. Bye-bye, everyone. Bye-bye. Bye. Bye everyone. Bye bye.